#there were some characters like the Hulk and Dr. Strange who were appearing in both it and their own solo comics

[daydreamerdrew]

The Avengers (1963) #9

[olet-lucernam]

A Hollow Promise [8] chapter ii, part iii

{_[on AO3]_}

main tags : loki x original character, post-avengers 2012, canon divergence - post-thor: the dark world, canon-typical violence, mentions of torture

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summary: In the aftermath of the Battle of New York, the Avengers need a few days to build a transport device for the Tesseract. With the Helicarrier damaged and surveillance offline, SHIELD sends an asset to guard Loki in the interim: a young woman who sees the truth in all things, and cannot lie.

Even long presumed dead, her memories lost to her, Loki would know her anywhere.

And this changes things.

Some things last beyond infinity. And the universe is in love with chaos.

(Loki was never looking for redemption. It came as an unexpected side-effect.)

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chapter summary : the morning after. loki and his guard play a game of twenty questions.

recommended listening : silvertongue, young the giant

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Loki blinked, leaning back slightly on his heels.

"Ah. A trick of the light, I suppose. I have been told that my eyes appear bluer in brighter, clearer light. In firelight or evening, or in the presence of ambient magic, they appear greener."

She hummed in acknowledgement, eyes drifting to the armoured plates strapped across his right shoulder, her fingers dragging across the ridge of her collarbone like a sympathetic impulse.

"Except- I reviewed every piece of footage available from the moment you first arrived."

A strange unease began to creep through him, like heavy, noxious effluvium, alerting a premonition.

"No matter the lighting- in the Mojave, in Stuttgart, on the Helicarrier in multiple sections of the craft, in Manhattan- inside or outside, day or night- blue. Only blue. Until the Hulk attacked you in the penthouse of Stark Tower. From then on, I can find the shades of green."

Loki gazed into her, disconcerted by the eerie calm settling over her.

And then he made the connection.

Windows to the soul. Blue eyes. The confrontation at the Tower-

His thoughts pitched violently at the implication, like a ship capsized by a storm.

He should dismiss it, redirect her suspicions, but his mind had seized up in sheer panic, brittle and sharp as the broken edge of the Bifrost, leaving him suspended over the indifferent, cosmic maw of open space, adrift and anchorless.

She can't know- if she knows, if she even suspects-

"There is a visible symptom," she continued ruthlessly, even as she spoke on the crest a shuddering exhale, "of the sceptre's mind control. The irises turn a distinctive, highly saturated blue. It was confirmed with both Agent Barton and Dr Selvig. The effect was lost and their eyes reverted to their natural blue after the sceptre's control was broken- in both cases, by a powerful blow to the head-"

"Stop," Loki snarled, shredding the underlying desperation until it was mutilated beyond recognition. A dull pain throbbed behind his eye, a psychosomatic reminder of what was at stake if he failed, if he couldn't convince her that she was wrong.

She met his eyes with a slow blink. The outline of his frame subsumed hers like a cage, coiled like a spring-trap snare, threatening to snap shut on her flesh, butchering her.

"Am I wrong?" She asked softly, insolently.

Loki was silent for a long moment.

Then he dipped his head, and laughed, gentle and bitter.

"Oh, beloved," he murmured mockingly, his eyebrows pulling together in hollow sympathy. "Is this all it took? Pretty words and a trick of the light, and that is all it takes to convince you? To take a shadow on the wall, and cherish it into a delusion?"

"Tell me I'm wrong," she said, unmoved.

Loki pressed his hand to the cold curve of the glass, leaning in over her.

"My darling," he susurrated, tender as a skimming touch across her jaw, "my eyes were not the same blue of those under the sceptre's command."

It was the truth. One too direct for her to deny.

"I know."

That unbalanced him. She remorselessly seized the advantage.

"And I also know how the sceptre works. I was ordered to inspect it after you were first apprehended," she explained fluidly. "Its control doesn't replace a person's mind, it influences what is already there. Barton enjoys the efficiency of a clean kill, and the satisfaction of completing a mission. Selvig delights in studying and understanding the intricacies of the universe. The sceptre pulled those traits to the forefront because they were useful. It amplified them until everything else felt insignificant, and used it to make them pliant. They were being offered what they wanted and valued most, and couldn't think of a reason why they shouldn't accept. All they had to do was obey."

She hardened.

"I could feel it. Something about that sceptre- thinks. It has a sentience, a malevolence, infecting anyone within reach. I could feel it- pulling at me. Plucking at every emotion and impulse inside me, like pizzicato on a violin, testing what would make me turn. I almost-"

She cut herself off, the hand at her clavicle closing into a fist, knuckles straining bloodless.

For the first time since she had first arrived, she looked defensive, guarded, clenched in against herself.

Loki abruptly realised that she had never reacted to him that way.

She had never been unguarded, but from the start, she had wanted to be.

After a moment, the emotion simmered away, and her lip curled in quiet anger.

"I gave my report. Recommended a quarantine. It was dismissed as a low threat, since there was no danger of direct control," she quoted resentfully, "unless someone was holding it. Fury and the Avengers convened in the lab where the sceptre was being kept. There was a disagreement. It escalated, quickly. Too quickly, too intensely. They were at each other's throats within a few minutes. Minutes." Her eyes sliced across him, carving in deep curving arcs. "I can extrapolate what could happen over hours- days- months of exposure to that."

Loki watched her, his eyes flicking between hers.

"Ah. A shadow on the wall," he forced himself to wonder, the shape of his mouth turning pitying, "and guesswork?"

It was like exposing a cinder to pure oxygen.

The fire flared beneath the surface of her skin, the resolution coalescing in her eyes like clotting blood- and she abruptly turned away, striking towards her duffel bag where it was tucked at the base of the control terminal.

She rummaged violently through the bag, retrieving a notebook and forcefully flipping through it until she found the correct page, drifting back towards him.

"First: your condition when you arrived. Exhibiting extreme fatigue and symptoms of heatstroke- pallor, clamminess, unsteadiness, elevated pulse and respiration," she listed, clinical and precise. "And your encounters with the Avengers are proof that, like Thor, you are made of sterner stuff than the average baseline human. Whatever caused your condition, it was severe- more severe than any punishment you took here, given that your condition has improved since you arrived. Second-"

"What are you doing?" Loki interjected, quick and low, frictionless as a sheet of black ice.

She lifted her eyes from the page.

"Guesswork," she quipped, sibilants hissing like a brand on flesh. "Second. Your reaction to SHIELD's armed response team. Quick, reactive, hyperalert- centuries of battlefield experience and reflex, thrown into a blender with survival instinct. That wasn't the behaviour of an aggressor, that's someone being hunted, conditioned into expecting an attack and striking first. Strange mindset for a conqueror with an army at his back, no? Third: under the sceptre's control, at that distance, under those conditions, Agent Barton had no reason not to take the headshot on Fury. Instead, he aimed for his centre mass. Fury was wearing a bulletproof vest, which Barton knew, and he would have retained that knowledge under mind control. Barton is an excellent shot. He didn't miss. He chose not to take the kill shot- while under your command. Fourth: the entire incident in Stuttgart, but to start with," she said, bellicose and exasperated, "how no one else clocked that the device you used was mostly an illusion, I will never understand- the three auxiliary spinning blades were so unnecessary, where would you even get something like that-"

"I believe you will find that Dr Heinrich Schäffer is still under intensive medical care," Loki mentioned coldly.

"Ah, right- Dr Schäffer," she broke off, tapping the notebook against her arm, keeping her place with one finger trapped in its spine. "Curious that you remember his name. I would have thought it beneath you. Actually, I almost forgot it, before I re-read the report. Curiouser still is that his attending medical team will soon discover the damage to his eye and extraocular muscles was far less severe than anticipated. In fact," she said pointedly, cocking her hip, "it will be limited to a few shallow lacerations that will miraculously heal with no scarring. Almost as though they never even existed. I imagine that his memory of the incident will also become very vague- easily chalked up to a trauma response, of course."

Loki's jaw clenched.

It wasn't a casual insight. Her observations were too focused and too detailed to be anything less than the result of a purposeful hunt.

She must have known what she was looking for.

It wouldn't have been much of a challenge, at least for her, to find it once she was set on it; there was a surfeit of contradictions to be found under the surface, the illusion imperfect from hasty construction. He had relied on making it convincing enough that no one would tap into its depths, because they believed that no such depths existed- there hadn't been the time or the liberty to design redundancies, or craft anything that would hold under scrutiny.

For the most part, it had worked.

The woman before him was an unanticipated factor.

"Fifth," she said, holding his stare for a moment longer before flicking open the notebook. "You stole the iridium in the most painfully obvious, attention-catching way possible. Dr Banner and Dr Stark would have to be clinically braindead not to realise that Selvig was devising a method to stabilise the portal. Meaning that you handed them the opportunity to prepare a counterstrike on a silver platter. Sixth- your words in Germany, before Rogers' dramatic entrance. Look to your elder, people. Let him be an example." She looked up at him, brewing with a quiet fire. "I heard you. I heard what you didn't mean for anyone to hear. It's always darkest under the lamp, and a lie is the perfect place to hide a truth, who would suspect a villain's taunt of being in earnest-"

"Enough," Loki snapped dismissively, turning aside sharply and taking three quick steps away from the glass, as far as he could without hitting the wall, before swivelling back. "I tire of this pathetic scavenging-"

"Seventh," she spoke over him forcefully, no longer referencing the notebook, a strange frantic energy beginning to swirl up within her, "you may have trapped Thor in that cell and dropped him over thirty thousand feet, but you locked him in a glass cage with a nigh-indestructible war hammer that he can use to fly. Eight: you led the Avengers straight to you with your comment about a warm light for all mankind to share. Nine- like Barton, Dr Selvig somehow managed to retain enough control and free will to install a backdoor to shut down the portal- ten, the key to said backdoor was the powerful sceptre that you left lying around on the balcony of Stark Tower for Romanoff to stroll over and collect- eleven, the assault itself was so uncoordinated that I'm losing my mind, don't you dare tell me that you were actually trying-"

"Darling-" Loki hissed dangerously, stalking towards her.

"Twelve! I can taste your magic, you could strip the flesh from my bones in seconds, could wrench this cell apart and escape, but you haven't, you showed nothing of it during the battle in New York, so why- and thirteenth-"

She snapped the notebook shut and tossed it behind her with a clang, her breathing thick, hazel eyes like gold dust and open flame.

"The death toll. It's still being counted, but I looked, and focused. I nearly blacked out and managed to give myself a migraine, but I have my answer. And it is- miraculously low. Seventy-four civilians. Six from the national guard. From a city-wide surprise attack on NYC, population approximately eight-point-two million."

Coiled tense, Loki glared into her. She was trembling with adrenaline, visibly fighting against the rush, sketches of champagne hair cast about her shoulders, her decolletage stuttering as though she was fighting to drag in air, hot as a fresh bruise- and it hit him.

What he had seen before, that which she had kept supressed and firm in her grip, was not quite fear, not wholly.

It was desperation.

Suddenly, she laughed ruefully, stepping back and breaking open the space between them, lifting the pressure off his chest.

"Shit," she cursed softly, pressing the pads of her fingers into her browbone, "sorry. I'm being unfair, aren't I?"

"Unfair?" Loki echoed, unable to formulate anything else as a response.

She bit down on her lip so hard that, when she spoke again, he could see the indent in the reddened flesh.

"A question for a question," she murmured, as though reminding herself. "Truth for truth. Right?"

Her arms crossed, steeling herself.

"I know that I'm not human."

The admission punched a hole through Loki's chest.

Her fingers bit divots into her upper arms, holding the unscrewed parts of herself together.

"I was-"

Hesitation choked her.

Loki watched her close her eyes, throat working as she altered the words until they were forced to run smooth.

"Found. Under what you could call unusual circumstances. I had no memory of my past. All I knew was my name, that I wasn't human, and that I could see the truth in all things and couldn't lie. The man that I would come to call my father rescued me. He took me in. He raised me, kept entities like SHIELD from finding me. I was-"

A fond smile cracked her features.

"He called me his changeling child. His colleagues were- wary. Understandably. But it was never a concern for him. He would always say that being human was no guarantee of being good. In fact, they could be real bastards," she quoted with a nostalgic smile and a mimicked, neutral American accent. "Whatever I was or wasn't, it was irrelevant to him. I had free will- which meant I could make my own choices and form my own moral compass. He said that was infinitely more important than something as arbitrary as being human. He believed it so much that I began to believe it too. I made my compass. I chose a vocation. I fell in love with it, and I was damn good at it, and I began to think it would be alright if I never knew what I had forgotten. But then- there was an incident."

She pressed her fingertips into her sternum, her eyes distant, as though she could break the bone and reach into her chest cavity, groping and clawing the kernel of unknown out of herself to examine.

"I tapped into something inside me. Lying dormant, or- bottled up. A raw power. I was cracked open. I couldn't ignore it, or forget it was there. I couldn't unknow. It was there and it was strong and it- scared me. I couldn't call it a non-issue anymore. I needed to know what it is. What I am. I told my father. He was worried, of course, but he supported my decision. So I left. I went looking for answers. SHIELD was an obvious starting point. They took notice of my incursions, and started trying to track me, laid traps baited with false information or informants, but I was careful. I scrubbed through their archives, looked over every operation. I found nothing. But then- then. New Mexico."

Loki remembered.

Thor's banishment.

"It caught my attention. I investigated. I sensed the residual energy signatures," she said quietly, "in the scorch marks in the desert, in the crater of the impact site. And I recognised them. Somehow, they were familiar. I knew them even before I looked at the SHIELD report. Bifrost. Mjolnir. I knew that energy, even if I couldn't remember it. After so long of chasing nothing but shadows on the wall and tricks of the light, I finally had something. Anything that SHIELD had on interstellar artifacts and deep space research, I hunted down. I tracked the Destroyer to the SHIELD Headquarters in New York, and broke into the facility to examine it. I kept tabs on Dr Foster's research on Einstein-Rosen Bridges. I uncovered Project PEGASUS, out in the Mojave- and the Tesseract. The files from the forties, the eighties, the current research- from Howard Stark to Wendy Lawson to Erik Selvig. All of it."

She combed her hair back from her face, laughing humourlessly.

"Like I said. I was careful, before. But- I was so close. I wanted it so badly. I did something reckless. SHIELD found me. For three weeks I gave them nothing, but eventually they threatened to release my likeness to every major intelligence agency in the world." Her nails raked at the crook of her neck. "I'd been meticulous. My identity led to nowhere. But if anything could be traced to my father- even if it was the ghost of a chance, it was a risk I couldn't take. I decided to bend, instead of break."

That, Loki understood intimately. It was the decision to survive, to remain intact, against forces that would take and remake. It was the choice of shrewd pragmatism rather than naïve courage, a scalpel's logic to a sledgehammer's brute force.

Like wet sand, he watched her collapse into herself in one smooth motion.

"They put me in an airless metal box," she said hollowly, "and only took me out to work. A toolbox, I kept thinking. I was valuable, but they had to keep me contained. I only interacted with authorised personnel. I could count those on one hand. My movements were restricted. I was kept either in my quarters or the testing rooms, unless under armed guard and with my handler. Again, one hand. It was months since I had seen the sky. I had nothing but time to think, and rethink." She canted her head to the side, expression blank. "Three months ago, we were in a communal kitchen. Romanoff was cutting up peaches. She left the paring knife on the counter and she turned her back. It was an obvious test. They wanted to see if I would attack her, or palm the knife- or if I'd do nothing. If I could be turned."

She was perfectly still, eyes glazing.

"I used it to sever my carotid artery."

Loki lurched forwards in a convulsive half-step towards her.

Unseeing, she reached up and rapped at the column of her throat with her index finger, just beneath her left ear.

"Here. It was a clean cut. But Romanoff was quick. She pinched off the artery before I could bleed out. I spent a week in the medical bay. Over three hundred stitches."

She blinked back into herself, looking at Loki, and offered a clean, bright rictus of a smile.

Loki recognised that smile. He had worn it enough times, edgeless and numb as delirium.

"I get to see the sun now. And clothes that aren't identical jumpsuits. So that's nice."

Unbridled, unadulterated ire clawed at his insides, scaling the ladder of his ribs, his magic seething in accord, lashing at the surface of his skin and demanding to be unleashed.

Loki imagined simply unlocking it and allowing it to rage, corroding steel into rust as though by decades of saltwater, blasting the thick glass into fine sand, overloading the electrical cables in the walls until they snapped and popped like dislocated joints, then letting his magic find a culpable flesh target to tear apart like barbed hooks.

He could taste copper and iron.

"I should have forced Barton to take the headshot," Loki heard himself say.

Her laugh broke on the edge of a hysterical sob, swaying forward, head dropping and the sweep of her pale blonde hair tumbling over her shoulders to curtain her face.

"You're sweet," she choked out, pressing the heel of her palm against her eye.

"How long?" Loki demanded.

She took a steadying breath.

"August of last year," she admitted. "Well- July."

He performed a quick calculation through Midgard's standardised calendar. Nine or ten solar months.

"And how long will they keep you?"

"Until the project they have me working on is complete," she said noncommittally, lifting her head, face upturned just enough to force her curls to slip back over her shoulder like a snowdrift. "Projected for next September. Just over a year."

"Much can happen in a year," he said darkly, before he could rethink the words.

She pressed her lips together.

"Loki."

Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears, thick and precarious against the brim of her dark lashes, blurring out the clear hazel of her irises- but the rest of her held steady as sun-soaked marble, a strange contrast of vulnerability and resolve.

She had offered up herself, as collateral. She had effectively pulled off her vambraces and drawn the daggers from her sleeves, tossing them out of reach, unarmed, offering up bare skin and open veins and-

Pomegranate seeds, Loki thought wildly.

It was a Midgardian myth. While learning Latin and Greek outside of the translation of Allspeak, Loki had come across the damaged, earliest account of the tale that explained how the four seasons of the Mediterranean had come to be. In the centuries since the Homeric Hymn to Demeter had been put to page, the myth had been retold and reinterpreted within its blank spaces, where sections had been lost to the ravages of time, reframed in different contexts with the same template.

The most common variation: Persephone ate the pomegranate seeds willingly.

Loki's mind repainted the story vividly.

From a realm of gold and light and endless glory, a deity had fallen far, through a barren, unfamiliar world of death and darkness. In a chamber locked away from the sun, his captor came to him, her heart in the colour of the ruby jewels in the palm of her hand.

Stay, she entreated. Let me have you.

Loki could taste the tart fruit, splitting between his teeth onto his tongue like a sunburst, a consenting condemnation.

"What do you want from me?" He asked quietly.

She blinked, sending the gathered tears gliding down her face, and she scraped them away with the back of her hand roughly. A short, blunt laugh left her.

"You."

She meant exactly what she said. Loki could hear the stain of confusion, and self-loathing, and utter certainty.

He could only speculate on which part of him she had coveted for herself, had wanted to carve out of the whole, discarding the rest as refuse.

She smiled- a confluence of confidence and acquiescence- and squared her shoulders, sniffling away the remnants of her tears.

"I don't ask what I'm not willing to give," she said firmly, her voice abraded. "You only have to ask. You can have it."

She turned away too quickly, collecting the notebook to bury back within the duffel bag.

Loki refused to think on it.

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[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

So it’s the mid 80s, and you’re tasked with one of the most exciting things imaginable: Turning a Marvel comic into a movie. Now, this is significant because this will be the first feature film based on a Marvel property; there were some TV films before in the 70s and 80s for Hulk, Captain America, and Dr. Strange, but this was going to be on the silver screen! Which famous character should be brought in for Marvel’s big debut? I mean, DC already killed it with West’s Batman and Reeves’ Superman, so Marvel should put their best foot forward! Should we have Spider-Man? The Mighty Thor? Perhaps the Fantastic Four, the first family of Marvel?

Nah, let’s do Howard the fucking Duck.

Adapting a character who was relatively obscure went over about as well as you might imagine with audiences back in 1986. After seven months of production and millions of dollars, the film bombed hard and left a lot of lives in shambles. The director of the movie Willard Huyck and the head of Universal Frank Price both ended up losing in this, as did George Lucas (contrary to what you might believe, he wasn’t the director), who ended up having to sell off Pixar to Steve Jobs to pay off Skywalker Ranch and divorce settlements, things he hoped this movie would have paid for. Frankly, Lucas was a scapegoat for Universal, who pushed his involvement despite his desire to not overshadow his friends working on the movie; Huyck had worked with Lucas on American Graffiti, Temple of Doom, and A New Hope, so he clearly liked the guy, but I guess the suits wanted some of that Star Wars money by slapping the name on. Price also really wanted to make the film similar in tone to Ghostbusters, which didn’t help matters at all.

Pretty much the only person who worked on it and doesn’t hate it is Lea Thompson, who played Howard’s girlfriend Beverly. She has been surprisingly positive about the film and owns her role in it, apparently even offering to to direct a new adaptation for Marvel Studios and lending her likeness to the comics so she could appear as herself beside her one-time fictional boytoy. You go, girl!

Ah, but perhaps the saddest victim of this film’s reception was Howard himself. Between this movie and Disney complaining he looked too similar to Donald, Steve Gerber’s wacky duck man was pushed out of the limelight for a long, long time. It wasn’t until 2009 when Bob Iger ordered the purchase of Marvel that Howard was able to start coming back, a return solidified by his awesome post-credit cameo in Guardians of the Galaxy, which got him a new series and cameos in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and Endgame (where he appears for split second in the big portal scene, coming out with the Ravagers and toting a big fucking gun).

But now that we have dozens of other Marvel films under our belt, let’s take a look back at Howard’s sole cinematic solo outing. Was his big break judged too harshly by audiences of the 80s, or is the movie, much like Howard himself, quite fowl? Well, after giving it a rewatch, I’m here to tell you if Howard the Duck is really that bad.

THE GOOD

What this film lacks in… well, just about everything, it makes up for with sheer cheesy 80s charm.

Like, look at Howard himself. The suit is bad, the puppet is bad, the fact they tried using both leading to his appearance changing wildly between shots is even worse… But it’s not so bad that it’s unbearable. Like a crummy practical effect like this undeniably has charm, and it’s helped a lot by Howard’s cute, dorky voice. Would it have been better if Robin Williams had stayed on to voice Howard? Undoubtedly. Were we robbed because a young Jason Alexander was turned away after auditioning? Absolutely, and I cry every night that we lost out on this. But Howard just has a prime 80s everyman corniness to him that makes him a likable duck even if the effects don’t really convey him as well as they could.

Then of course there’s Lea Thompson, and you can see why she’s so unashamed of this film, because she is busting her ass for this film. She will make you believe that she finds a weird alien duck sexually appealing. Like I really don’t have much more to add here, she managed to pull that off, she deserved a better career. End of discussion.

Now, unfortunately, I must praise Jeffery Jones. Here he plays a scientist who gets possessed by the creatively-named Dark Overlord, and he really gets to ham it up in what feels like a prototype of Edgar the Bug. Despite the awful prosthetic work and the Saturday morning cartoon supervillain voice he uses, it ends up being moderately entertaining… and I hate saying that because Jones is an actual, literal sicko in real life. Let’s just say those scenes in Ferris Bueller where he is snooping about a teen boy’s house and leering in the windows hoping to see him is a bit more accurate to his life than you’d hope. It’s a shame, because he’s a solid actor, but it’s hard to praise him too much when he did what he did.

The Dark Overlord itself is also a pretty impressively-designed stop motion monstrosity, and its scenes in the finale are pretty awesome, only hampered by some really bad compositing. You can definitely tell where the budget went.

And then we have the song played at the end, a ridiculously cheesy slice of 80s pop cooked up by Thomas Dolby, the man behind the legendary one-hit wonder “She Blinded Me With Science.” Needless to say, Howard’s little song at the end is every bit as infectiously earwormy as that.

undefined

THE BAD

I think what really kills the film is just how weak the third act is. The film was at its best when it was about Howard being put into awkward situations, like being forced to work a shitty job or starting a bar fight. But I guess that doesn’t get asses in seats, so they have a third act where Howard has to save the world from destruction by evil aliens by stopping a gigantic sky laser. Considering how that very plot has become a widely-mocked cliché in the wake of movies trying to copy this very thing from The Avengers, Howard was truly ahead of its time in terms of comic book adaptations.

Even in the good parts of the first two acts there’s some weakness. The conceit of the character is that he’s an alien duck forced into the mundane situations the real world provides, and while we do get some of that, a lot of stuff is abandoned a bit too quickly for my liking. Sure, we didn’t need a montage of Howard applying for a bunch of crummy jobs, and I suppose we didn’t need to see him manage the band excessively or anything, but too much of what makes this movie charming in its weird and awkward way is thrown out for some souped up climax where Howard flies a little plane contraption with Tim Robbins and then fights an alien monster. It feels like a bunch of half baked plots haphazardly slapped together more than a cohesive narrative the writers gave a shit about.

On top of that, the film feels remarkably cheap. The suit and puppet thing is bad, the compositing of the Dark Overlord is bad, it genuinely blows the mind that these effects were this mediocre when the movie was relatively expensive to make. I have to imagine most of the budget went towards getting the crew cocaine to deal with the miserable shooting schedule, because it definitely doesn’t seem like it went to costumes or making the visuals look good.

And speaking of things that don’t look very good… Duck tits.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Nah.

Look, I can’t pretend this movie is amazing or anything. It is incredibly flawed, with rushed production values and more corniness than the fields of Iowa. It has trouble finding its tone, and kind of loses its webbed footing in the third act. But I have watched a metric fuckton of superhero movies in my time, and this film has a sort of corny, earnest charm that genuinely awful ones lack. Like Thor: The Dark World is utterly mediocre and forgettable, and I couldn’t tell you a single thing that happened in it, but this movie? Even with the parts it drags I could still recount some of the wacky plot beats. And maybe it has worse production values than Batman v Superman, but it’s also a lot less miserable and has a cool stop-motion alien monster instead of a shitty gray CGI blob that murders Superman. It’s just not a film that feels quite as awful in terms of comic book movies when filmmakers have gone out of their way to make infinitely worse, infinitely less fun films in the decades since.

It also helps a movie very similar to this came out that did what it was trying to do better, and you’re not gonna believe what it is: Seth MacFarlane’s Ted. It is extremely similar, a fish-out-of-water story about a fantastical being stuck in the mundanity of the real world. Ted even gets a human girlfriend, and the movie has a really weird third act that’s a bit more action packed than the rest of the film! It manages to work a lot better there, though, and that’s despite starring Mark Wahlberg! So yeah, even if the actual Howard didn’t fully live up to its interesting premise, we have something that does just that, which makes this film dropping the ball a little less egregious.

The 4.7 up there is honestly not quite as harsh as you’d think given this film’s reputation, which probably reflects how opinions of this have turned a little bit and given this film a cult following. I might even be so nice as to round it up to a 5; it’s not really a bad movie so much as a weird one, and it is filled with cheesy 80s charm if you can get on board with it. It’s probably not going to change your life, but it’s fun, mostly harmless comic book movie fluff, and if nothing else it’s unique and out there in terms of comic book movies. We wouldn’t get anything quite this weird again until they started letting people like James Gunn and Taika Waititi make comic book movies, so it’s nice to go back and see where it all began. Howard the Duck is a very interesting piece of history, maybe more for the story around it than the film itself, but damn if I don’t get a few chuckles out of watching it and a goofy grin from that cheesy end credits song.

It’s definitely more worth a watch than Wonder Woman 1984, that’s for fucking sure.

[pla-teau]

WHAT IF...? EPISODE THREE THOUGHTS

GIF CREDIT @lankybrunettepartdeux EPISODE 03: WHAT IF...EARTH LOST ITS MIGHTIEST HEROES? SPOILERS AHEAD! i didn't think phil coulson and i would have the same taste in men.

i’ve missed natasha and fury talking. i didn’t realize how much until the opening scenes of them in the car. love how natasha’s over with fury’s speech about the avengers, i think it hones in that it is a really corny speech. also really loved nat’s animation in this episode like ma’am, please marry me.

seeing tony in the donut again was also awesome. glad we got a little tony before killing him off five minutes later. didn’t think this episode would quickly go dark but it did. and i’m happy it did because i am all for marvel going dark and not having everything be a possible double meaning to something darker. i wanna see that gray areas and the gory stuff every once and a while.

for a second i really thought pierce was going to be the main bad guy due to fury suggesting someone tampered with the antidote. again, completely love nat’s fight sequence in the car. really wish brumlow said fuck cause i would too if i was in his shoes.

phil coulson my beloved. i love love love how we all have collectively agreed that he’s a got a thing for buff blonds with blue eyes. same phil same. thor is gorgeous with or without that long hair but they really made it shine this episode even if it was brief. i think you can actually see the crisis coulson was having upon realizing that the man is basically steve rogers but with long hair and he’s simping. again, phil my dear - same. i’m a simp for steve and thor.

nearly sobbed seeing thor being killed by clint because i’m never gonna be prepared for thor dying on us. i actually can’t fathom it since i love him so much. from promo clips, i figured this would be its own episode like “what if…clint killed thor?” but i’m kind of happy we got to see it in this episode as it makes you believe for a split second barton was the one killing the avengers off one by one.

betty ross? okay, didn’t think we’d ever ever see that woman again especially in the mcu. also, banner? i didn’t know what i thought bruce would look like in this show but it wasn’t like that. don’t get me wrong, i like the animation style of banner, i guess i pictures something closer to looking like mark. either way, was really hoping hulk would be the exception to the plot here since yeah, he really can’t die but boy were we proven dead wrong once more.

loki in this episode was basically if he had no character development and actually got his way with earth under the premise of avenging thor. which i think loki did want. i believe he was hurting that thor was killed but despite this being loki that was still hellbent on being king, he used it as a cover to then actually take over earth. not me thinking he’d change and actually be in the avengers. really thought we were going that route with him as it would’ve been cool to see loki finding purpose being in the avengers in thor’s place and doing a sort of 180 on his whole glorious purpose shtick.

hank pym being revealed as the man behind the killings of all the avengers did take me for a loop because i was wondering who would want to do this. i was going through a whole rolodex of people in the mcu as to who it could possibly be. the fact that hope was working for S.H.I.E.L.D. made me wonder if had she not died, she would be a part of the original avengers lineup like in the comics. also, saw a lot of people pointing to the fact that bucky is the one who killed hope in that mission. odessa, ukraine is the same place natasha said was shot by the winter soldier in captain america: the winter soldier. so this must also mean that nat probably came to work for fury later on in this timeline since she’s usually his go-to agent. anyways, back to hank being the villain. he’s also clearly wearing the yellow jacket armor as he did in the comics. hank has always had disdain for S.H.I.E.L.D. as he didn’t trust them with his pym particles which would be correct to assume since we also know HYDRA is already masking as S.H.I.E.L.D. during this time. i just wonder if HYDRA did influence hank in this timeline to push him to kill everyone.

coulson being the absolute fanboy he is for steve rogers with that password is a mood. like phil my beloved, we’ve all probably had a similar password dedicated to america’s ass one way or another. knowing that HYDRA is posing as S.H.I.E.L.D. by this time, i’m wondering how they still didn’t get to steve or if fury had found him on his own- hence why he’s alone when he wipes some ice from the shield. maybe this was something between fury and a few other trusted agents as maybe he did have an idea that HYDRA was already infiltrating the agency. either way, was pretty happy to see captain marvel appear too when he said “welcome back, captain.” as to say it to both captain america and captain marvel since they’re gonna be co-captains for this new team to take down loki.

overall, i liked this episode and really shocked that they went pretty dark for this third episode. i hope that they have more episodes like this in the season. i figure the dr. strange episode will have a similar tone but i hope there’s more episodes than just these two for darker themes and darker animation.

i know i slipped with the second episode but that was because i got too emotional watching it and was sobbing by the end of the episode. i did love episode two and i think in terms of the fun, adventurous tone, it’s the best episode so far (and i think it really should’ve been the premiere episode instead). looking back on the first episode, it really wasn’t anything spectacular in terms of a new storyline or anything rather creative. it’s just replacing steve with peggy in the first avenger movie. as for the second and third episode, there was a lot changed in storylines and consequences of those changes. ie: thanos being talked out of mass genocide by t’challa and so he joins the ravangers and doesn’t torture nebula to the point of making her fully cybernetic. the most we got from the first episode was that peggy came through the tesseract portal not loki so there’s implications of that but we’re not shown much else. while with this episode and t’challa’s star lord episode, there’s a hell of a lot more changes to the storyline that we’re shown rather than left to guess and it was refreshing to see that.

[servinglemonade]

WandaVision Review

BEWARE: SPOILERS FOR ALL WANDAVISION EPISODES AHEAD

Didn't WandaVision end over a month ago now? Yes. Wasn't The Falcon and Winter Soldier finale yesterday? Yes. Is that going to stop me from talking about this incredible show? No, it won't.

Hi everyone! I started writing this review while WandaVision was still airing, but got so swamped with life that I did not have time to finish it. But here we are, finally! I adore this show, it is a fresh and different take on the MCU and I personally loved every second of it. The concept should not have made sense, like Paul Bettany kept saying, it is bonkers! However, somehow, they just made it work and I just enjoyed it so much! The sitcom aspect, the different songs and score, the attention to detail, the new characters, and spending time with Wanda and Vision was just fantastic! Because at the end of the day, that was what this was all about, Wanda and Vision and their relationship! For a more in-depth and spoiler review of every episode, keep on reading!

Episode 1 - Filmed Before A Live Studio Audience

Many people expressed their annoyance with the fact that the first two episodes that aired were very slow, and yes they are. But that is not necessarily a bad thing. This is not a movie, it is a show, they are building the story, just enjoy the ride and the mystery because even the first episode left so many questions! I loved seeing Wanda and Vision as the stars of the show for once and I enjoy spending all this time with them. The production value of the whole show is amazing but the black and white episodes are something special. I have never watched the old school sitcoms they are referencing here in episode 1 (and 2) but I found it so charming and cute. The square aspect ratio, the black and white, the old school VFX, the laughing track from the audience. I thought it was really cool to see. One of my favorite moments in this episode was the dinner scene with the Harts. When Mr. Hart chocked and Mrs. Hart just kept saying stop it, and Wanda and Vision just kind of looked at each other like what is happening, was so tense. When Wanda looked at Vision and said to help him was so well done by both Elizabeth and Paul! So, I really loved this first episode.

Episode 2 - Don’t Touch That Dial

Episode 2 is where you really start to see that nothing is at it seems in this ‘perfect’ world. So, there is a talent show that day and our favorite unusual couple is preparing for their magic act. Wanda also tells Vision that is their home and she wants to fit in. Later, Vision goes to the Neighborhood Watch because of a strange sound he heard the night before, where we meet some more people from Westview and Vision’s co-workers. Vision mentions he does not eat food. However, when Herb offers him gum, he takes it but accidentally swallows it. This leads to a really cool animation that Vision might not be doing so well after eating that piece of gum. Meanwhile, Wanda hears a strange noise so she goes to check it out, and it is this little red and gold-colored drone with a logo on it... Which was later revealed to be the SWORD logo. But then who comes to visit... Agnes. She was suspicious since the beginning and we were right about that... So Wanda joins Agnes for a meeting with the Planning Committee. Here we meet, Geraldine aka Monica Rambeau, Dottie, and some more people from Westview. So, Wanda is trying really hard to fit in but is not really successful. They say the talent show is for the children but are not any children in Westview... Fishy! Then Wanda has to clean everything up after the meeting and has a really weird moment with Dottie. Someone is trying to contact Wanda through the radio which freaks Dottie out completely, the glass breaks and Dottie’s blood is red, while the rest is still black and white just like that little drone... So, when it’s time for the magic show, Vision shows up at the nick of time and appears to be acting a little weird or ‘drunk’ so to speak. So of course, everything goes wrong during the show and Wanda tries to cover it up. But everyone thought they were being funny so they won! And they go back home, and Wanda turns out to be pregnant! I thought it was a really cute reveal but it did not last long because there is some strange dude outside in a beekeeper costume coming out of the sewer and Wanda is like ‘oh hell no’ and rewinds time like it never happened. Badass.

Episode 3 -  Now in Color

In this episode, Wanda and Vision prepare for the arrival of the baby, which of course causes some trouble not just in the house but in the neighborhood of Westview too. I loved how Vision was making Dad jokes and was quite nervous about becoming a dad. Yet, Wanda was just like chill, we got this, so cute. The pregnancy goes very fast, which confuses Vision. He also starts questioning the situation they are in and how weird the citizens of Westview act sometimes. He even looks straight into the camera! So, Wanda looks a bit scared and rewinds again!! So, it was becoming very clear that Wanda is pulling the strings here and can alter what happens. Afterward, Vision runs to get the doctor and Geraldine (aka Monica) shows up. At some point, Geraldine realizes what’s up and she helps Wanda deliver her baby, or babies as we later find out. Twins! What a twist, as Darcy says in the next episode (although it was in the trailer that there were 2 babies, I just wanted to make that joke). So, everyone is very happy and as Vision lets the doctor out, Monica stays with Wanda. Now, this is where this episode gets super weird. So, Vision sees Agnes and Herb talking and they are discussing how Geraldine is an outsider since she just showed up in Westview with no home and family. Then, Herb wants to say something important, but of course, Agnes stops him. Meanwhile, Wanda and Monica are inside and Wanda mentions Pietro for the first time in a long time!!! I think since Age of Ultron. Speaking of Ultron, Monica then mentions that Pietro was killed by him. We do not see what happens next (just yet hehe) but the aspect ratio changes and we go outside of Westview where SWORD is monitoring the hex very closely...  This episode brought up a lot of questions, which is one of the things I loved about it. A scene I liked was when Wanda’s water broke and the house got all wet. So, Wanda used her powers to create some wind to dry off. She was standing there very gracefully and Vision was in the background struggling to keep his balance. I just thought that was funny. 

Episode 4 - We Interrupt This Program

Did I mention how much I love the titles for every episode, I think they are so clever. In this episode, we see the last 3 episodes but from outside the hex! So, we get a couple more answers to our questions. For example, that it is ALL WANDA! Wanda is creating a reality where she can live in a perfect world with Vision. We get re-introduced to some characters we have not seen in a while! Jimmy Woo, who has mastered close-up magic like he was practicing in Ant-Man and The Wasp! We love to see it. And Dr. Darcy Lewis, who is now an astrophysicist, just like Jane! I think it was really good to pair these two together because they had a great dynamic and quickly became such a fun duo! We also get introduced to one of the worst people in MCU history, the new director of SWORD... Tyler Hayward. The literal definition of a bastard. I mean this man is a liar and is sitting in Monica’s chair (who should obviously be the new director). This brings me to the beginning of the episode, which in my opinion is the best perspective on the Blip we have gotten so far. The VFX when Monica blipped back was incredible. I also thought that whole sequence in the hospital showed how chaotic it must have been for some places after Hulk snapped everyone back. For example, when this one guy said “Everyone is coming back, we don’t the capacity!” I think that is a really interesting angle to explore the ramifications of The Blip. But the most heartbreaking thing about that scene was Monica finding out her mother, Maria, passed away while she was blipped. That was just awful. A fun thing about this episode was that everyone at SWORD was kind of like us, trying to piece together what was going on! But the best part about the episode was, of course, seeing how Wanda took Monica out of the hex. She really looked and sounded like a villain. It was amazing, but the most creepy thing I have ever seen in the MCU was talking zombie Vision. Really good jump scare and very unexpected and dark! 

Episode 5 - On a Very Special Episode...

And we are back with Wanda and Vision living their ‘perfect’ life, trying to get the twins to sleep, which is not really working out for them. And of course, Agnes shows up to help them. Vision is kind of apprehensive and prefers if Agnes does not get too close. However, Agnes starts acting weird and asks Wanda: "Do you want me to begin from the top?" WHAT...?! I thought this sounded like she knew Wanda was in control. Wanda tries to talk some sense into her and lets Agnes do her thing. Vision starts getting really suspicious of the situation in this episode and I loved seeing that and how Wanda dealt with it as well. We catch up with SWORD and our favorite duo has become a trio!! Jimmy Woo, Darcy, and Monica! Hayward is briefing everyone about Wanda’s history, tells more lies, Monica actually sticks up for her (yas), and Jimmy & Darcy agree with the whole world that Hayward is a bastard. Back in the hex, we are introduced to Sparky the dog, and the twins age up to ten. Later, our favorite trio is on a mission to figure out what is going on. What I found most interesting about this scene was when Jimmy mentioned Captain Marvel, Monica was super dismissive... I smell some drama between those two. They then figure out if they can send something in the Hex to contact Wanda. While Vision is at work, they get a mysterious e-mail from SWORD trying to make contact inside the hex, which results in Vision waking up Norm from someone’s control!!! Such a cool scene, very well acted as well. Back at the Vision residence, Wanda has a little heart to heart with the twins about family, which I thought was very heartwarming. But then, a SWORD drone has come into the hex and Hayward actually weaponized it. And we get one of Wanda’s most badass scenes ever! She comes out of the hex and throws the drone right back at them and tells them to leave her alone since she has everything she wants. Then, she amplifies the hex with her powers and now it has this red glow around it. What I found really interesting about this was her Sakovian accent, which was so present here. The commercial for ‘Lagos’ paper towels this episode was very clever: ‘when you make a mess you did not mean to.’, which is obviously a reference to what Wanda did to that hospital in Civil War. So, Sparky is missing and they find him dead in Agnes’ hands. RIP :(. The ending of the episode where Wanda and Vision fight was amazing and SO WELL ACTED by both of them. Super tense! And of course, in the end, Evan Peters shows up as Pietro. I have never seen the X-Men movies (I know, I am sorry.), so I had no clue that he actually played Quicksilver in the FOX movies. 

Episode 6 - All-New Halloween Spooktacular!

This was one of my favorite episodes and it may or may not be because of the Halloween elements. I thought the twins talking to the audience in this episode was really cute and a great way for us to get to know their personalities as well. Wanda comes downstairs looking fabulous in her classic Scarlet Witch costume from the comics!! The kids and Pietro kind of think the costume is a bit meh, but they obviously do not know what they are talking about... Pietro then talks about trick or treating with Wanda in Sakovia and Wanda says she does not remember... Clue #1 that this Pietro is being kind of weird. Later, Vision shows up in his classic comics costume, which was funny to see him in that. So Vision tells Wanda he cannot go trick or treating with them because he is doing some stuff with the Neighborhood Watch tonight, while in fact, he is going to be doing some investigating in Westview. So Pietro joins the fam instead with his classic Quicksilver costume and Tommy has the same outfit on because it is later revealed that he also has super speed. I really enjoyed the trick-or-treating bit. So, Vision is nearing the edge of the Hex and seems as though people are either stuck in a loop but still conscious or just standing completely still. Back at SWORD, our favorite trio is taking matters into their own hands and are trying to figure out a way to go back into the hex and they find out that Hayward is tracking Vision and the decay of Vibranium. Which raised a bunch of questions for me, like is Hayward just after Vision? Darcy mentions that going in and out of the hex is changing Monica’s cells. Interesting and scary. When Vision found Agnes at the edge of the hex and got her out of the spell, she knew about the Avengers but Vision did not since he has no memory. She was acting really weird though... AS ALWAYS! The town square with all the Halloween decorations looked so cute and gave me serious Halloweentown vibes! Pietro is fishing for answers with Wanda and we get another jump scare with zombie Pietro... This was even worse than Vision. Then, we get this heartbreaking scene, where he is trying to get out of the hex and tries to tell SWORD the people need help and he is slowly falling apart and nobody tries to help him but Darcy. I really thought he was going to die again and I was not ready for that. Luckily, Billy senses his dad is in trouble and goes to Wanda. She then freezes the whole town and EXPANDS THE ENTIRE HEX. That was just crazy and what a cliffhanger. 

Episode 7 - Breaking The Fourth Wall

This is the Modern Family style episode and as a huge fan of that, this was sooooo well done! The humor, the confessionals to the camera, the camera work even. It was perfect. So, it’s not going so well in the hex. A lot of furniture and things in the house are switching between decades, like the twins’ game consoles and the milk. Wanda kept saying she was fine, while we can all see she obviously is not. Agnes suggests taking the twins so Wanda can have a little self-care time. Speaking of which, her confessionals to the camera were so funny! Vision seeks out Darcy and Darcy just thinks he wants to go on a date with her. All I kept thinking was: Vision, just take her out of the spell. Which of course he does later and Darcy says how she thought it would be fun to be on WandaVision but in reality, it was not, that was great. They then escape the circus by getting in a funnel cake truck. Meanwhile, Monica and Jimmy meet up with the engineer who turned out to be no one we knew. But she did bring a vehicle that Monica could use to get back in the hex. Which eventually did not work, so Monica literally runs in there without any protection really. But we got this beautiful sequence where Monica gets her powers and it was just stunning. She hears all these voices of her past and she is also ripped apart somehow with different versions of herself but she pulls them all together and she goes comes out on the other side in a superhero landing and GLOWING eyes, wow. Vision and Darcy are stuck somewhere in Westview like someone really does not want them to get to Wanda. Darcy basically tells Vision his whole story and he finally learns what Wanda had to endure concerning his death as well. Vision’s confessionals in front of that funnel truck were hilarious as well! Another thing I loved about that was that Darcy mentioned how she had been watching WandaVision (just like us hehe) and the love Wanda and Vision share is real, which I thought was really cute. Monica visits Wanda at home and she is NOT happy. Elizabeth Olsen is really selling the more villainous moments and Teyonnah Parris killed this scene as well, the emotion in her voice was on point. Agnes sees what happens and goes to stop it and takes Wanda to her house. Wanda sits in the living room and the twins are nowhere to be found, so Agnes says they are in the basement. Which has these really weird branches coming out of it, Wanda goes down and there are all these weird artifacts and this book, very WITCHY... And it is revealed that Agnes is Agatha Harkness, a witch!!! This leads to the instantly iconic smash hit, Agatha All Along!!! (which I am still very much obsessed with) So we see her messing with events like the talent show and it was also revealed that she was the one that killed Sparky... I had been following theories throughout the show, so some already suspected Agnes was Agatha but the way it was revealed was just iconic. 

Episode 8 - Previously On...

I loved this one too. This episode gives us some answers to our questions and a glimpse into Wanda's past. Hosted by none other than Agatha Harkness! (I love how she was giving commentary on everything this episode, Katherine Hahn is amazing!) In the beginning, we also see some of Agatha's past and I thought it was really cool, I love the magic section of the MCU and I feel like they are starting to explore it more and more. It was also a very dark scene, really great stuff. After that, Agatha is explaining to Wanda why she came to Westview, why is she is seeking her out specifically, and showcases her magic. She also explains how she brought FIETRO in the picture (cannot stop calling him that now lol). We then take a trip down memory lane. First up, Sokovia. I thought this was cute and gave us an answer to why they are referencing sitcoms. I did not expect to see the bombing that Wanda and Pietro talked about in Age of Ultron and as it turns out the bomb did not go off because Wanda put a spell on it! Then we move to the Hydra facility where Wanda and Pietro volunteered. So when Wanda was alone with the scepter, the mind stone went to her by itself, almost like it chose her or something. I thought it was really cool that it was showing her true self or her future self for that matter. Next up, the Avengers compound. I loved how when Vision entered he came through the wall, just like he did in Civil War and he is kind of confused about the sitcom she is watching. They have a little heart-to-heart about how Wanda is feeling after Pietro's death. I have to say the writing and lines here are great but Vision says this gorgeous one: "But what is grief, if not love persevering?" That is one of the best lines in the show and MCU, so beautiful. I mean even Agatha had to wipe away a tear. The last scene was incredible. So we find out that Wanda never took Vision's body from SWORD and that Hayward is a lying bastard (tells us something we do not know). I was on the verge of tears when Wanda went to Vision's body and said she could not feel him anymore. Gosh, that was sad and made me think of Infinity War. She then leaves the SWORD HQ and drives to Westview and she stops at this empty plot of land... Because Vision bought that for them to live there :( That is just so sad and Wanda her grief was so great that SHE created the hex out of nothing. On top of that, she even created a new Vision. That whole scene was so visually striking, it was incredible. So back to 'reality'. Agatha leads Wanda outside and she is wearing her costume (which looks great btw!) and her hair is blowing in the wind and she is holding the twins hostage and she tells Wanda she used chaos magic to create the hex, which makes her THE SCARLET WITCH!!!!!! SHE SAID IT! The way I screamed omg, it was amazing!

Episode 9 - The Series Finale

We've made it!! Congrats if you have made it this far, cause this a long post. Let me start off by saying that even though some people hated this finale because of all the theories that had been spread on the internet, I really enjoyed it! Yes, even I was convinced that some of them were true, particularly Mephisto and Doctor Strange showing up. It did not happen and at the end of the day, I was fine with it because they were just theories, it was not confirmed. Now, the whole Evan Peters thing... It was a bit weird that he was just a nobody, but I was honestly not that invested in that storyline, so yeah, I get why other people were disappointed. But to say it ruined the whole show, no way, it was never about him in the first place. With the mystery of WandaVision, I think we all looked too much into every single detail. WandaVision is about Wanda dealing with her grief and the love she shares with VIsion, which they delivered on in spades and I loved seeing that. Plus, it is not to say that Mephisto will never show up, there were a lot of clues here that he might in the future with all those devil references... The finale wrapped up this story and gave some teases for what is to come. It delivered some great action at the beginning of the episode with Wanda vs. Agatha and Vision vs. White Vision. I thought the little philosophy session with the Visions was so in character, it was great. Speaking of White Vision, now that he has all of Vision's memory... WHERE DID HE GO?! I am sure we will see him again. I thought the scene where the people from Westview surrounded Wanda and were blaming her for all their trauma these past weeks, which is totally within their right, was so intense and Elizabeth really sold it!! All the Wanda vs. Agatha scenes were awesome and loved seeing them use their magic in different ways. Now, my two favorite moments of this finale. I did not realize what Wanda was doing while fighting Agatha in the air, not until Agatha could not use her powers anymore... Wanda literally used Agatha's own tricks against her by casting those ruins inside the hex! Wanda accepting her destiny as the Scarlet Witch was such a beautiful moment, I had legit chills! AND HER NEW COSTUME LOOKS STUNNING! With her hair and the headpiece, omg yes queen. Also, I think we will be seeing Agatha again, they really established that her path will cross with Wanda in a future MCU project! Now, my other favorite moment. Wanda saying goodbye to her family. Some of the lines were just beautiful and the score was emotional. I thought it was chilling how you could just see the hex closing in on them, it felt very cinematic. I genuinely think it is among some of my favorite moments in the MCU. It was a beautiful ending to this story. So, what's next?! One post-credit scene was Monica being recruited by a SKRULL!! I love it when the Skrulls just pop up out of nowhere, it's great. So the Skrull tells her there is someone who wants to see her up there... That has to be Nick Fury right?! The last time we saw him he was on some sort of space station with Skrulls in Far From Home. Maybe Monica will also play a part in Secret Invasion?! I am excited about that reunion nonetheless! The other scene was Wanda settled in a secluded area in the mountains. Wanda has been confirmed for Multiverse of Madness with Doctor Strange and I am SO excited for that. This scene confirmed it too! If u listen closely you can hear a different version of Doctor Strange's theme!! I thought it was really cool and a little scary that Wanda could be awake and have her astral projection reading the dark hold at the same time! That was powerful!

So, here we are, we made it! I loved this show and I am so happy Wanda is becoming a very big part of the MCU and her future shines brighter than ever!! Thank you so much for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it :) Next up, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier! (spoiler alert: it was amazing!!!!) Hopefully, my review will be up before Loki has started ;)

PS. I loved all the songs and scores from the show so much, I put all my faves in a Spotify playlist! Check it out here

[doomonfilm]

Ranking : Marvel Cinematic Universe - The Infinity Saga (2008 - 2019)

Outside of the Star Wars or James Bond franchises (or maybe even the longstanding BBC series Dr. Who), I am hard pressed to think of a bigger, more intricately connected set of films than those created by Kevin Feige for his Marvel Cinematic Universe (better known as the MCU to most people).  With the help of numerous established and upcoming stars, a vast range of directors, and a rich history of characters and events the studio could play fast and loose with, Marvel Studios spent roughly a decade transforming “comic book” films from gimmicks into legitimized artistic storytelling, forcing many studios to attempt and emulate the success of a connected “cinematic universe” without laying the groundwork needed to do so.

With WandaVision in motion on Disney+, and the release future of Black Widow still up in the air, the trajectory in which the MCU will move forward is still a mystery, but these properties firmly close the door on the initial three phases of Marvel Studios releases, collectively known as The Infinity Saga due to their connection to Thanos and the six Infinity Stones.  Individually, many of these pieces had impact, but as a whole, the overarching story that they tell is an epic feat yet to be matched. 

But enough preamble, I know what everybody came here for.  So, based solely on my opinion and nothing else, here is The Infinity Saga, as presented by Marvel Studios, ranked from least to most favorite...

23. The Incredible Hulk (2008) It’s a shame that my favorite Marvel character seems to be a conundrum when it comes to giving him a solo movie.  With a decent slice of these characters, it’s about casting the “normal” version of the character, and in the case of this film, as great of an actor as Edward Norton is, I am not sure if he can play enough self-sabotaging behaviors to believably provide us with a Bruce Banner that audiences can connect with.  As a result, The Incredible Hulk left us with an isolated protagonist (literally and figuratively) forced to carry audiences between long stretches absent of Hulk in his green glory.

22. Thor (2011) For a time, it seemed as if Thor was going to be the realm of the MCU where gravitas resided.  The Shakespearean approach to mythic heroes adapted by Marvel was fresh at the time, as Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Black Widow and S.H.I.E.L.D. were around, but certainly more relatable.  Bringing Thor, Odin, Loki and a host of other legendary Asgardians into the fold broadened the world, but with the entire picture of this stretch now laid out in front of us, it is clear that Chris Hemsworth had not yet found his voice as Thor.  We knew he would have to earn his worthiness and his title as King of Asgard, but I doubt anyone anticipated Thor would become one of the consistently funniest aspects of the MCU... sadly, that was not yet developed in his first film, and as a result, his introduction falls to the lower realms of the list.

21. Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

20. Ant-Man (2015) It was not my intention to lump the Ant-Man movies together, but in all honestly, they do work best in that capacity.  The events of both movies, for the most part, seem to satellite around the bigger nucleus narrative, and up until Avengers : Endgame, and appearance made by Ant-Man in the other films was cursory or meant to “balance the scales” (as in the case of Captain America : Civil War).  Don’t get me wrong... Paul Rudd is a fabulous addition to the MCU family, and listening to Michael Peña tell stories never gets old, but when it comes down to the big picture, Ant-Man and his two films are not the largest puzzle pieces on the table.

19. Captain Marvel (2019) The possibilities for an epic film were all there... Krees and Skrulls would finally get a chance at the spotlight, we were being teased going back in time without realizing how it would play into the resolution of our Infinity Saga storyline, and the final moments of the film made us question everything we’d been presented with up until that point.  Sadly, however, Carol Danvers turned out to be an extremely overpowered and dangerously self-unaware character, resulting in a lack of stakes or emotional connection ever really being established.  While Captain Marvel does have fun elements to it, much of the work that managed to stick was undone by her forced and underwhelming appearance in Avengers : Endgame.  Of all the properties in the MCU, this one seems to have the most whispers and rumors surrounding it in regards to its production and future within the MCU moving forward, but I will be curious to see how time treats this film.

18. Iron Man 3 (2013) Up through Phase Two of The Infinity Saga, Tony Stark was always positioned as the loner of the group.  With that in mind, it does seem a bit strange to me that his final solo film, and the first solo film after Marvel’s The Avengers, would find Tony back in isolation mode so vigorously.  In all fairness, War Machine is there (during his brief stint as The Patriot), and Pepper Potts is given the most room to play out of all three films, but as interesting as the antagonist structure for the film is, the convoluted nature of having at least three tiers of villainy almost begs the inclusion of at least one more Avenger.  Ultimately, the film does move Tony closer to the rest of the camp, but it’s odd that more Avengers weren’t involved in the actual film. 

17. Captain America : The First Avenger (2011) Of all the characters fans were presented with in the MCU, it’s hard to argue against the fact that Captain America received the most rewarding arc of any character in The Infinity Saga.  Every journey needs a starting point, and simply because it was the origin story, Captain America : The First Avenger was never destined to be the best of the MCU.  Visually, the MCU was still figuring a few things out, so some of the scrawny Cap scenes look awkward, but by the time this film is all said and done, all of the honor, character and heart needed to propel Cap forward was present and accounted for.

16. Thor : The Dark World (2013)

15. Iron Man 2 (2010) Maybe it’s a recencey bias thing, but I really enjoyed Thor : The Dark World and Iron Man 2.  Up until deciding to make this list, I’d not seen either of these films, and it was largely due to the negative reactions I’d heard from most fans and critics.  Thor : The Dark World gave us brief glimpses of where the Thor character was headed, it was a great look for Jane Foster (who is seemingly on her way back into the mix), it opened up some mystic doors that we will likely be exploring moving forward in the MCU, and due to these mystic elements, we may have seen the beginnings of S.W.O.R.D., who is already making its presence felt in Phase Four.  As for Iron Man 2, we are given the polar opposite Tony Stark from his introductory movie, and due to his seemingly unstoppable mission to erase himself, War Machine is given autonomy, and the beginnings of the Iron Legion are built.  Perhaps its a bit of a revisionist lens as well, hence these two being grouped together, but time seems to have been very kind to these two films, despite their flaws.

14. Spider-Man : Far From Home (2019) Avengers : Endgame would have been a perfect place to close the door on The Infinity Saga, but that monumental task was appointed to Spider-Man : Far From Home.  Perhaps it was that implied burden that made the film feel a bit buried under the weight of expectations.  There are certainly calls to a post-Tony Stark snap present throughout the film, but Mysterio’s plan runs seemingly independent of any previous events shown.  The mid and post-credit scenes certainly tease big things for the future, but even before COVID-19 flipped the script on the industry, it was uncertain where things where headed as the new phase unrolled.  This film was enjoyable, but almost feels like a stand-alone trapped on a bridge between two worlds of narrative.

13. Iron Man (2008) The one that started it all.  I’ve never been the biggest Iron Man fan, but I can certainly respect the large risk that Kevin Feige took by kickstarting his empire with a character seemingly caught between fame and obscurity.  Tony Stark has enough Bruce Wayne in him to make him an intriguing character, but Iron Man and Batman could not be more different from one another, which immediately gave the MCU a fresh feel in light of them using a Silver Age character.  The pool of household name talent was limited, as Sony was sitting on Spider-Man, the X-men and the Fantastic Four in 2008, but ultimately, Iron Man was a roll of the dice that paid off in a major way. 

12. Spider-Man : Homecoming (2017) Spider-Man is such an iconic character that it is sometimes hard to believe that he was not always involved in The Infinity Saga.  Tobey Maguire was the definitive Spider-Man to many fans, and Andrew Garfield was starting to build a cult following, but after a bit of legal ping-pong, Captain America : Civil War went from being an anticipated mess to possibly a shadow of its comic book counterpart when Spider-Man appeared in the trailer.  Tom Holland brought a pitch-perfect voice and sensibility to the character, and Spider-Man : Homecoming drove those feelings home (no pun intended).  It wasn’t like Spider-Man needed a boost in tandem with his entry into the MCU, but his introductory movie did most everything right (including assuming we were WELL AWARE of his often repeated origin story).

11. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) Out of everyone that the MCU has introduced to the masses, it is safe to say that I knew the least about the Guardians of the Galaxy... in fact, my closest tie to knowledge of their existence came in the form of Howard the Duck, who shares that section of the Marvel comic universe with them.  Marvel Studios had already made me enjoy films about Thor and Iron Man, two characters I did not consider myself a fan of prior to their films, so I went out on a limb in hopes that Marvel could sell me on characters I had zero connection to.  Guardians of the Galaxy did provide another set of colors in the Marvel spectrum, and it helped open the door to Marvel’s space-centered stories, but it wasn’t until the sequel that I went back and really found an appreciation for Guardians of the Galaxy, which I will expound later.  That being said, Guardians of the Galaxy is another Marvel film that has been benefited by time and revisitation.

10. Marvel's The Avengers (2012) The main pieces had found their way to the board by the time Captain America : The First Avenger was released, and it only seemed like a matter of time before the big players would cross paths.  Rather than build to a mass collaboration via smaller duos and groupings, Marvel went all in to close Phase One by locking in The Avengers as the collective stars of The Infinity Saga.  Loki found new agency as their protagonist, but he was really just a smokescreen for the big bad of the entire saga, Thanos.  The entire run of 23 movies can be summed up or represented by the iconic shot that rotates around our heroes when they stand shoulder to shoulder for the first time, staring up at their enemy emerging from the sky.  There was no turning back at this point, and this is largely due to the wonderful execution of one of the MCU’s key films.

9. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) I’m really not sure why Guardians of the Galaxy didn’t connect for me initially, but after watching Vol. 2, I felt a deeper understanding of Peter Quill, the relationship between Gamora and Nebula, and I came to love Groot and Drax even more (who didn’t immediately love Rocket Racoon?).  Kurt Russell was the evolved mirror to Chris Pratt that I didn’t know I needed, and the soundtrack contained more songs that spoke directly to me than the first film.  Some of the set pieces were downright beautiful in this film, I lowkey became a big fan of Mantis, and Yondu’s story culmination may have been the first time the MCU brought a tear to my eye.  Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 may deceptively be the most emotionally powerful of all the MCU films, short of Avengers : Infinity War, and for that, it must be respected, considering it all came from a little known band of upstarts.

8. Captain America : Civil War (2016) While Marvel’s The Avengers may be the first true “event” film in the MCU, the first major “event” attempted in terms of historic Marvel stories was the infamous Civil War run.  A weird mix of anticipation and fear existed in the time preceding the film’s release, as a number of key players from the comic book storyline were either not available to the MCU or had not yet been introduced into the MCU.  Speculation between who would be emerging, omitted and adjusted flew back and forth, but in the end, we were not only presented with a riveting triangle of emotion between Tony Stark, Steve Rogers and Bucky, but Spider-Man and Black Panther stepped into the spotlight (with a little dose of Ant-Man thrown in for good measure).  Had the MCU waited for a different phase, there’s no telling how many heroes and villains could have ultimately been involved, but considering what they had at the time, the MCU definitely exceeded expectations and created their own iconic version of a Marvel narrative hallmark.

7. Black Panther (2018) Outside of the final two Avenger’s, there wasn’t a more anticipated or well-received release (to my knowledge) than Black Panther.  After bursting onto the scene in Captain America : Civil War, it seemed everyone was ready for more of King T'Challa, Black Panther and Wakanda.  Chadwick Boseman became even more of a fan favorite than he already was, and Black Panther became the first MCU film to be nominated for Best Picture at the 2019 Academy Awards.  Marvel presented Wakanda, and Africa in turn, with the utmost cultural, historical and social respect, and short of a slightly underwhelming finale in terms of visual effects, it was hard to hang a complaint on Black Panther.  If the MCU had to pick a single film that they were most proud of, I would not be surprised if this was the one that was chosen.

6. Doctor Strange (2016) As a fan of science fiction, mysticism and overall weirdness, I was incredibly hype for the announcement and release of Doctor Strange.  Of all the active characters in the MCU at the time, Doctor Strange was the most obscure that I was already familiar with, and his introductory film did not disappoint.  The visual representation of the mystic arts was brilliant, casting Tilda Swinton as The Ancient One was a stroke of genius (despite many that voiced reservation to the choice), and the introduction of different dimensions and realms to the MCU hinted at the future that was to come.  With Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness coming in sooner than later, it is almost certain that I will be revisiting this film, and I hope that as time goes by, it finds a bigger audience with a deeper appreciation for it. 

5. Thor : Ragnarok (2017) If I think about it hard enough, I can probably find a character that will contradict this statement, but I’m hard pressed to think of a character than took a bigger personality jump between individual films than Thor did between The Dark World and Ragnarok.  We got shades of a new Thor in The Dark World, and he was really starting to come out of his shell in Avengers : Age of Ultron, but I’m not sure if anyone expected for Taika Waititi to not only turn Thor into possibly the most loveable Avenger, but make his third film a psychedelic masterpiece of fun.  Thor and Loki have never had better chemistry, Cate Blanchett was surprisingly well cast as Hela, and most everyone’s favorite MCU iteration of the Hulk came to life (not to mention a brief nod to Beta Ray Bill being present for keen viewers).  It may not be the best film in the MCU, but Thor : Ragnarok is almost certainly the one viewers gravitate towards if they make a quick selection.

4. Avengers : Endgame (2019) How do you end a story arc that spans more than 20 films?  Well, for starters, you bring every character to the table, collect every expectation that fans have for them, and then kick all of those expectations to the side and forge a completely wild, new and unexpected path.  For a large portion of Endgame’s runtime, it is tonally and stylistically different than any other Avengers film, but near the end, when the rubber hits the road, Thanos and his legions of followers take part in one of the most epically satisfying stands against our heroes already present, only for the world of the MCU to open up and rain the most enjoyable and acceptable fan service ever to be captured to film, including the most iconic Captain America moment of all time.  

3. Avengers : Age of Ultron (2015) For a long while, this film stood as my clear-cut favorite in the MCU.  I didn’t even know I was a Vision fan until he emerged from his chamber, and the introduction of Scarlet Witch has brought me nothing but joy.  David Spader brought some of the best antagonist personality in his powerful portrayal of Ultron, and the party scene provided one of my favorite non-action sequences in all of the MCU.  The interactions between the Avengers had the best balance of all their collaborative films during Age of Ultron, and Scarlet Witch took each of our heroes to the darkest corners of their mind.  Perhaps people had other ideas in mind when they learned that Tony and Bruce’s murderbot was due for a screen appearance, but for my money’s worth, Age of Ultron was the first Avengers film that blew my mind, and still stands as my personal favorite of the Avengers movies.

2. Avengers : Infinity War (2018) Easily the most epic of all the MCU films, Infinity War set the stage for a truly iconic struggle between the Earth’s mightiest heroes and the seemingly unstoppable Thanos that had been promised over many, many films, and in the opening rounds, Infinity War delivered.  For all of the combinations of characters we’d been provided, we’d yet to see Tony interact with Doctor Strange or Star-Lord, and each of those meetings yielded hilarious results.  The stakes had never been higher prior to Infinity War, and the costs had not been greater up to this point.  I personally remember people in theaters being nearly moved to tears when their favorite heroes (especially Spider-Man) began turning into dust, like they were watching Schindler’s List.  If the MCU collectively raised the bar for comic book movies, then Infinity War raised the bar for the MCU. 

1. Captain America : The Winter Soldier (2014) The MCU has more than a handful of classic films under their belt, but Captain America : The Winter Soldier is probably the sole film of the MCU that feels like a proper action/adventure suspense-thriller, like it was penned by John Grisham.  The connection between Bucky and Cap is kinetic in its swings between impending hope and tragedy, and the level of combat and action in the film is second to none.  This was the film where the Cap that the masses know and love stepped into his own as a hero and a leader.  Of all the directors that Marvel Studios has tapped, the Russo Brothers seem to have the secrets unlocked to make a great MCU film, and Captain America : The Winter Soldier is the pound for pound best they’ve offered yet.

[aion-rsa]

Helstrom: The Comic History of Marvel’s Son of Satan

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On Oct. 16, Hulu will be releasing the latest Marvel tie-in series Helstrom. It’s not so much like one of those upcoming Disney+ MCU shows that feature high-profile superheroes telling stories that will be important to the overall fictional universe. It’s more like Daredevil or Runaways where quality be damned, you’re never going to hear anyone in the movies make anything close to a reference to it, but it counts as part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe anyway.

The series is about siblings Daimon Helstrom and Ana Helstrom, who have seemingly normal lives, but oppose demons and evil people on the side. Their mother is institutionalized, which is fairly true to the comics, but their father is also referred to as “a powerful serial killer.”

In the comics, things are a bit grander. Their father isn’t just any serial killer, but a variation of Satan. Marvel has a bunch of guys whose identities are “basically Satan, but not really.” Instead of suits and turtlenecks, the two have comic adventures where they dress like they shopped off the sexy Halloween costume rack at Party City.

Daimon Helstrom (played by Tom Austen) gets both L’s in the comics as Daimon Hellstrom, but also has the rad nickname of Son of Satan. Shockingly, he’s a good guy! Mostly. Even when bare-chested with a glowing pentagram over his torso. Even with a magical pitchfork as his weapon of choice.

Son of Satan and his sister Satana are essentially the Marvel versions of Dante and Vergil from Devil May Cry. Both are half-human/half-devil and they lean on opposite sides of their genetics.

So let’s say you want to get into Hellstrom’s comic book exploits. Well, you’re in luck because we have a list of his main character runs since showing up in 1973.

The Early Spotlight (1973-1975)

Hellstrom made his first appearance in Ghost Rider #1. In the first two issues of that series, Hellstrom was hired as an exorcist to help deal with a missing woman who had been possessed. Interestingly enough, they never gave a clear look at Hellstrom in those two issues other than the demonic birthmark on his chest.

Initially, Hellstrom had a Jekyll and Hyde gimmick to the point that he told the woman’s loved ones to lock him up in a dark room and not let him out no matter what he said. Unlike the supporting characters in Young Frankenstein, the bozos didn’t take that to heart and let Hellstrom’s more maniacal personality Son of Satan loose.

Sidenote: His adventures were originally going to be called “the Mark of Satan” with more emphasis on Satan as the antagonist, but doing comics focused on Satan was deemed a little over-the-line, so they changed it.

Second sidenote: I did not hit her, it’s bullshit, I did not hit her, I DID NOT! Oh hi, Mark of Satan!

Read more

TV

How Helstrom Became One of Marvel Television’s Last Shows Standing

By Alec Bojalad

Son of Satan’s adventures continued into Marvel Spotlight #12-24. It didn’t take long for Marvel to realize that giving him a double-identity was kind of a lame idea and instead had Satan Sr. magically handwave that away and make Son of Satan just one dude. Definitely for the better as he no longer felt so blatantly like Marvel’s answer to Jason Blood/Etrigan.

Hellstrom continued to fight against ghoulish enemies while opposing his father’s ways and dated some generic woman whose name I couldn’t tell you if you paid me a million dollars. It all culminated in a really strong finale issue where Hellstrom fought against and with his sister Satana, but maybe ignore the part where Hellstrom had a dream about the two of them making out.

Striking Out Solo (1975-1977)

Son of Satan had his own self-titled ongoing series that only lasted eight issues. From the beginning, Hellstrom went to Hell to basically tell off his dad as a way to say that this series wouldn’t be about their rivalry. Instead, it was Son of Satan dealing with a bunch of random villains that nobody would ever really remember.

There was one ridiculous enemy named the Possessor (not to be confused with the Elder of the Universe) who wore a mask to hide the fact that he had demon faces where his ears are supposed to be. Too bad he never showed up outside of this series.

It was a trippy outing, but ended before it could find its footing.

Demon Defender (1981-1983)

The Defenders are, of course, the bundle of heroes who don’t quite fit in with the Avengers, Fantastic Four, or X-Men but need people to hang out with. Guys like Hulk, Dr. Strange, Namor, Valkyrie, etc. Son of Satan became a regular ally in the team’s early days, appearing to help out every now and then. Most notably, he was part of a storyline where the Serpent Society kidnapped the Defenders and Clea put together a second team to rescue them, featuring the likes of Son of Satan, Daredevil, and Luke Cage.

Then again, the only thing anyone truly remembers about those issues is a very bizarre and legendary scene of a random guy getting killed by an Elf with a Gun.

As the series reached its 92nd issue, Hellstrom finally joined the team. On one hand, having Son of Satan on the team meant the Defenders had to take on the occult more than usual. On the other hand, Hellstrom soon fell in love with fellow Defender Hellcat, who was regularly dealing with constantly being possessed and turning into a scantily-clad demoness.

When Defenders hit its 100th issue, they did a really climactic storyline where a handful of the various Marvel Devil guys invaded Earth and Son of Satan had to take on Father of Son of Satan for the fate of Earth. The conclusion is rather surprising.

Prince of Lies (1993-1994)

Okay, so Daimon Hellstrom and Patsy Walker have been married for ten years (our time). It’s a fairytale romance where they’ve made a few guest appearances here and there, but have otherwise retired, happily ever after. What could POSSIBLY taint such true love?

90s comics. That’s your answer.

Welcome to Hellstorm: Prince of Lies, a 21-issue ongoing series where every issue looks like a Nine Inch Nails video and they try to see how much lanky nudity they can get away with showing in a Marvel comic. Like, holy crap, there has to be a world record for shadowed-out junk in this series. They even edit in some obvious, hastily-drawn underwear on characters at times as if the editor has realized they’ve gone too far.

It’s a gritty and grimy series that you’d expect from a 90s comic where much of it is written by Warren Ellis and the main character is Satan’s son. Lots of spikes, sharp teeth, long hair, suffering, insanity, and so on. It’s most definitely a product of its time.

Plus it’s called “Hellstorm” instead of “Hellstrom.” Scout’s honor, I didn’t notice the difference until my editor pointed it out.

Maximum Hellstorm (2006-2007)

Ah, Marvel MAX. The days when Marvel decided to give R-rated comics a shot and just threw everything at the wall. Hellstorm: Son of Satan was one of them, going for five issues. By this point, we’re in the mid-00s, so Hellstrom has a more down-to-earth look and is constantly talking to his father on a cellphone and tries so hard not to remind us what he looked like in the 70s and 80s.

But because it’s Marvel MAX, it means that his adventure is filled with lots of curse words, ultra-violence, gross demon boobs, and explicit Jesus imagery you normally wouldn’t see in a comic like this.

While the whole “Hellstrom messes with Egyptian underworld deities” storyline is a bit high concept, it still feels more like the new Hulu show than anything else.

Zombie Slayer (2009)

Speaking of gritty Marvel trends, there’s Marvel Zombies! While the initial Ultimate Fantastic Four storyline and the first two volumes of Marvel Zombies dealt with the happenings of a doomed universe, the next few volumes went slightly more uplifting. After all, sometimes you need to have people to root for who can back it up.

In Marvel Zombies 4, the Black Talon and the Hood (under the influence of Dormammu) try to use the decapitated head of Zombie Deadpool (otherwise known as Headpool) to bring forth the zombie apocalypse in the regular Marvel universe. Yes, we actually have canon stakes this time.

To prevent this, we have the Midnight Sons, made up of Son of Satan, Morbius, Jennifer Kale, Werewolf by Night, and Man-Thing. It’s an incredibly badass group working through an incredibly badass adventure. Too bad the team doesn’t last.

On a similar note, around this time there was a miniseries called the Last Defenders where Son of Satan was a major character. It’s just that by the time the team came together, they were an immediately-forgotten afterthought, so there’s no use in giving it its own entry.

Ghost Riders in the Sky (2009-2010)

Jason Aaron had a really, really, really great run on Ghost Rider. Most definitely read it. It’s pure grindhouse and I love it.

The whole run finished with Ghost Riders: Heaven’s on Fire. This culmination featured Johnny Blaze and Danny Ketch working together against a corrupt angel, the anti-Christ, and a group of villains from earlier in the run teaming up.

At least they have Daimon Hellstrom there to help out. Unfortunately, Hellstrom looks outright goofy with a bald head and Fu-Manchu mustache. The story brings back Jaine, his EXTREME love interest from the 90s series who he ended up with after his relationship with Patsy went very south.

Anyhow, Jason Aaron’s Ghost Rider run. Read it!

Strikeforce (2019-2020)

Much like how X-Men had X-Force as the team that would do the really dirty work, Avengers had a spinoff team called Strikeforce. Made up of Winter Soldier, Angela, Blade, Spider-Woman, Wiccan, and Spectrum, the team soon brought Hellstrom into the fold. Which is just as well, since he was working for Baron Zemo for a little while and really needed to get his head back on straight.

Unfortunately for Hellstrom, 1) he retained his bald look from Heaven’s on Fire and 2) the series didn’t last all that long. Only nine issues, sadly. Eh, it was fun while it lasted.

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At least he’s joining the Savage Avengers next! And they’re giving him his hair back!

The post Helstrom: The Comic History of Marvel’s Son of Satan appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/31dX5KF

[authoressskr]

Write Into My Arms [3]

Characters: f!Reader, James “Bucky” Barnes, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, James “Rhodey” Rhodes, Peter Parker, Hope Van Dyne, Natasha Romanoff, Scott Lang, Wanda Maximoff, Vision, Okoye, T’Challa, Shuri, Clint Barton, Happy Hogan, Dr. Strange, Wong, Bruce Banner, Thor, Amelina Rodrigez (OFC), Carol Danvers, Rocket Raccoon, Groot, Peter Quill, Gamora, Nebula, Mantis and Drax.

Warnings: Language, Angst (mostly in last two chapters), Action (in last chapter) and no Beta (just me and Grammerly up in here)

Word Count: 11,278  ::  Pairing: Bucky x f!Reader

This was written for @jewelofwinter’s Writing Challenge!! I also incorporated a prompt for @jaamesbbarnes + @sgtjbuccky’s D&S’ Milestone Celebration!!

Prompt: “Tin Man lost Y/N.” (@jewelofwinter’s prompt) + “Publicly, I agree. Personally, I think it’s chickenshit.” (D&S’ prompt) Bolded in text below. Prompt #1 will appear in the third part while Prompt #2 appears in the second part. The next parts will be posted by the end of this week. All will be linked.

Summary: You’re a small time blog writer who is invited to interview the Avengers. ALL the Avengers.

*Note: Endgame happened - kind of. Steve didn’t go back to the 40s. Tony didn’t die. Natasha got brought back with the Bruce Snap. Bruce is not the Hulk mashup they had going on. Everything else happened. This takes place 3 years after defeating Thanos.*

[PART 2]

Please do NOT repost, copy & paste, post or share my works on any other platform without my EXPRESS PERMISSION.

-+- REBLOGGING is fine and very appreciated! -+-

Waking up later that afternoon to Bucky gently shaking your shoulder is...nice.

You open your mouth to apologize for your breakdown earlier but he just gives you a soft shake of his head, sporting a shy smile before yawning.

“Lunchtime,” He rumbles out and it’s a whole lot sexier than it should be. “But eat some of the fruit first and take a couple of aspirin.” His second yawn makes you yawn, but you manage to nod, slipping from under the covers and stretching a little before seeing the banana on the side table. You manage a few small bites before reaching greedily for one of the bottles of water, downing a third of the bottle before reaching for the aspirin. You shake out two pills and toss them back before offering the other water to Bucky who is slipping off the bed to get his boots. He shakes his head ‘no’ before pulling on his right boot. You set it back and finish your water, surprised at the ease of this whole thing between you two now and at Bucky appearing before you, taking the banana from your hand and polishing it off before flashing you a round-cheeked smile.

“Let’s go, chipmunk,” You mutter with a smile before slipping into a pair of flats and heading through the door, the handsome sergeant following behind you with his own smile flirting on his lips, this whole thing making the tired wheels in your mind spin.

Bucky couldn’t like you like you, could he?

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

Lunch is served later than usual and you thank Tony quietly when you enter for it. He just gives you a genuine smile before reaching out to squeeze your wrist affectionately.

Your seat is in between Natasha and Hope for this meal, a beautiful salad set before you before it’s swiftly pulled away by Bucky, leaning over the giant ass table. He pushes his plate in front of you while you watch quizzically. He looks at the salad with a tiny hint of disdain before handing it to Steve and heading back to the buffet table.

Looking down at the plate, it’s loaded with food. Fried potatoes, antipasto salad, some cottage cheese, three slices of ham, and a little white frosted cupcake.

“Need something solid,” He remarks as he sits down with his new plate. You nearly start crying again - there is no reason for all of them to be so nice to you. Especially Bucky. “Eat,” Bucky orders around a mouthful of chicken, Sam shaking his head - at what exactly, you aren’t sure.

But they must all be in on it since most of the Avengers are giving you smiles like they know something you don’t but right now, you are simply too tired to care.

“Our space division will be here tomorrow, probably just before dinner,” Tony states loudly, disturbing the soft conversation you were having with Hope about adding the ability to “talk” to ants to her Wasp suit or if she could dare to control wasps since it’s her moniker. You meet his eyes and nod your understanding. “We’ll let you rest up the day after they arrive - they can show you around the ship and take pictures, but I want you to rest as much as possible.”

“I’m not doing anything difficult,” You reason, setting your fork down with a frown.

“But you’re still pushing yourself a little too hard, kid.” Unable to argue, you just tuck a piece of hair behind your ear and pick up your fork to continue eating. “I don’t want you run ragged, okay? Just rest up tomorrow and take it easy the day after and then you can go right back at it.”

“Fine. But I’m only agreeing to this because I don’t think I can win an argument right now.”

“Good.”

“And I’m still going to interview Happy after lunch.”

“Fine,” Is uttered through clenched teeth with a forced smile as Pepper reached over to pat his hand, while Peter grins from beside Pepper.

“It sounds like you’ve been adopted or are close!”

“Adopted?”

“Yeah! Mr. Stark shows his affection in not the usual way. He’s kind of compliments you, then tells you what you can do better. Then he starts to orders you to rest and to stay safe and will keep tabs to make sure you do.” He shoves a whole slice of ham in his mouth while Scott and Wanda both give little shakes of their heads.

“Um, thank you?” You look at Tony who just looks away before shoving some antipasto in his mouth.

“Maybe we just let her and Bucky nap some more?” Shuri sing-songs oh so innocently from the other end of the table by Clint and Vision.

When you look across at Bucky, his cheeks that cute pink you remember for your interview. You feel the heat creep up your neck at this as well, all though your eyes shift from Bucky back to Shuri.

“Well, not everyone can have my good taste. Thank you for lunch, Tony. Pepper. And thank you for the care, Sergeant.” And it takes all the confidence you can muster, but you slide from your seat with grace, taking your cupcake with you, and walk from the room with your head held as high as you could manage while nerves ate at your insides.

I just let that damn teenager rile me up...

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Tracking down Happy is a little more difficult, but by now you aren’t ashamed to ask FRIDAY to help locate people. It’s a big compound.

Happy’s in the garage after an errand run to Avengers Tower and he’s more than a little shocked that he’s included - which in turn makes you a little sad since he’s been with Tony longer than Pepper has.

He tells you of his life before Tony, after Tony, his boxing background and helping Peter navigate superhero duties now that he’s not just the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

“Kid thought AC/DC was Led Zeppelin…” He shakes his head with obvious fondness. “Tony bought him all of AC/DC’s stuff and told him he was gonna quiz him after that.”

“It’s a terribly dad thing to do.”

“After Tony assigned me to look after him, the kid called constantly. ‘A lady bought me a churro.’ ‘When do I get to help Iron Man again?’ But I know Tony picked him for a reason. Tony second-guesses nearly everything he does, but not that kid. Under-roos was a good choice.”

“Un-un-under-roos?” You cackle happily, bending over a little as you laugh and nearly jostling the recorder off your knee as you do so.

“The kid seems to like you.”

“To be fair, Peter seems to like everyone. He’s a very sweet young man.”

“They all do, honey. You’ve brought a lot of normalcy to them in a very short period of time. They won’t say it, but they get attached quicker than they like to admit. And they all like you.”

“There are a lot more interesti-”

“Not to them. They like the normal. They like the wit. They like your enthusiasm...that you can connect with all of them. They’ve been to space. Time traveled. Met a talking raccoon and tree. Trust me, they got interesting.”

“Are you implying I’m not interesting?” Happy looks flustered for a moment, backtracking like his life depends on it while you can’t hold your serious face anymore and burst out laughing. “I’m just screwing with you. I know what you meant, Happy.”

Happy is lightheartedly funny, teasing you more after that, and you make the notation that he’s obviously a very good influence on Tony and Peter. He also tells you he helped Rhodey change the signs from Stark Industries to Stank Industries, which still makes him smile every time he drives into the compound.

You take a break after that, twenty interviews in five days a lot to go over - and in your case, go over and over and then once more, just in case.

Spending the rest of the afternoon and early evening shut in your room as you type and listen, type and go over your notes, type and re-type. This has to be perfect. If you never write another story again, this has to be perfect.

For them. For all they’ve done.

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If she’s not interviewing, she’s writing.

And if she’s not writing, she’s taking photographs - the grounds, the woods, them.

When she’s not interviewing or taking photographs, she’s singing.

It’s soft, always under her breath when around them, like after lunch today when she came to grab some lemonade from the fridge. Sam told him it was an 80s song called ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’. He mentally added that to the list he’d already compiled in the last five days from listening to her.

It’s a little spaced out, with whole verses skipped when she’s seated on one of the patios, furiously typing and rereading - typing and rereading.

It’s in her normal speaking volume when it’s early morning and she’s seated in front of the windows in her room, scribbling in her notebook or listening to her boss complain on speakerphone about deadlines, hiring decisions, or suggestions on things he knows already that she’s going to ignore.

He hears her softly singing as he heads towards the living room, silence breaking it up every so often, so he knows she’s typing. Part of him wants to go in and talk to her, but he knows he shouldn’t. She’s working and he needs to let her do that. It doesn’t stop the need burning in his chest but he just shoves it down as much as he can, knowing that he’ll see her later.

“You know, that means she likes you too Tin-Man.” Tony’s smirked-riddled words from lunch keep tumbling around in his head. Over and over and over again.

He grabs an empty bowl and some Lucky Charms from the cabinet, filling the bowl to the brim before pouring the milk and settling in at the bar top to eat his cereal. Peter is a few stools down, shoving a brownie into his mouth as Tony and Sam come in, Tony calling out a gruff “Hello freeloaders” to T’Challa, Shuri, Steve, Vision, Wanda, and Natasha who are all seated in the living room, watching Animal Planet. Shuri, Wanda, and Natasha all give him smirks while T’Challa grabs hold of Shuri’s hands, keeping them firmly on her lap while chuckling.

“Whatcha doin’, kid?” Tony asks Peter, stealing a brownie from the giant serving platter in front of the teenager as Peter looks at his phone with a smile.

“Sending some memes to Y/N. To cheer her up.” Bucky nearly drops his spoon into the cereal in disbelief.

“How’d you get her number?” Tony asks, his gaze sliding from Peter to Bucky, a big smile stretching his lips. Asshole.

“I asked,” Peter answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the history of things.

“Well, I’ll be damned. First DUM-E and now the spiderling…” Sam’s voice filled with the joy this revelation begins as Bucky’s voice overlaps his with an edge of shock.

“We can just ask?” Peter looks at Bucky like he’s confused for a second before his phone dings, Shuri appearing and looking over Peter’s shoulder at his phone.

“That’s a good one,” Peter tells her over his shoulder as Shuri laughs.

“That is a good one!”

“Y/N has a wonderful sense of humor,” Vision agrees from across the room, Wanda nodding in agreement.

“She has retained all of her phrases I’ve taught her so far. And sometimes rearranged them to make them humorous. You should just ask her out already, Bucky.” He feels the heat creep up his neck. He saves himself from answering Wanda by shoving a big spoonful of cereal in his mouth but glares at Sam and Tony who are still staring at him with big smiles. Dicks.

“She seems to like you too, Mr. Bucky.” Peter pipes up helpfully.

“Yes, you two looked very cute earlier,” Shuri adds with a wink.

“And the Guardians are supposed to be here tomorrow night, so you need to get in as much flirting time as possible, Mr. Bucky. Thor is coming. And he’s handsome.” When Bucky just stares, Peter clears his throat. “Everyone says so.”

“Everyone,” Natasha agrees as she gets up to refill her coffee cup.

“If Thor doesn’t try to steal her attention then Peter Quill will,” Tony adds loudly, his back to everyone while digging through the junk food cupboard.

“Star-Lord?” Stephen snorts from his spot on the loveseat in the corner. “I hope she’s a lot smarter than that.”

“Nebula said he wore Gamora down…” Tony argues, eyebrows raised as he shoves an oreo in his mouth.

“Well, we aren’t in space and he is in no way the pick of the litter here on Earth. Regardless of what he thinks.” Stephen comes over to steal a cookie from Tony.

Y/N comes down the hall with Wong, talking animatedly, making Bucky throw his spoon at Tony, who drops his oreo.

“What the fuck, Tin-Man?” Tony hisses as he looks forlornly at his oreo before bending to pick it up.

“Hi everyone! Wong told me we’ll be having dinner in the mess hall tonight. Does that mean the Guardians will be here sooner than planned?”

“No, still due tomorrow, but Nebula said it might be around lunchtime when they arrive. Tony, Pepper, and Natasha just want to work out schematics,” Steve pipes up from the couch, shooting you a bright Captain America smile.

“I was thinking,” You begin nervously. “I’m sort of glad Tony is forcing me to take a break. It gives me time to finish up my notes on you all but also gives them some time to recharge and ask you guys about me.”

“I’m glad you’re gonna rest some, imposed or not. Plan sounds perfect to me,” Pepper answers with a bright smile, taking the oreo package from Tony and closing it as he frowns slightly at his cookie loss. Then Bucky sees Peter slip him a brownie. Tony shoots you a wink as he accepts it.

“Good!” You perk up at the acceptance before you and Wong continue to what Bucky assumes is the library.

Scott and Hope walk in with Okoye and Clint, Scott looking excited.

“Thor’s gonna be here soon!” He rubs his hands together as Peter, Shuri and Sam laugh.

“What did I say?” Scott wonders aloud, looking at Natasha as she pats his shoulder once as she returns to her seat on the couch.

“They’re obviously trying to get the White Wolf to make a move before Thor comes. He may have gained some weight, but he’s still very handsome. Funny. Powerful. Pleasing to the eye and ear.” Okoye comments as Scott and Peter nod along eagerly.

Bucky drops his empty bowl into the sink and sulks off to his room.

Would you really like Thor better?

Of course, you would. Thor wasn’t a former brainwashed assassin who still have difficulties remembering his past as a normal person should. He probably doesn’t sit up nights after rough missions and hate that he can still feel the person he used to be. He can offer you charm and laughter and he was fucking royalty. Space royalty!

Bucky was a man out of time with more blood on his hands than any man should, he was a man who couldn’t offer you a lot...all he had to give was his damaged self.

He was just a semi-stable soldier who liked watching your beautiful eyes light up as you get excited about the smallest things and who liked to follow you around to hear you sing - how could he compete when he was possibly up against an actual god?

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

It’s after midnight, so it’s mostly cleared out, with the few who are still awake settled on the patio with a few bottles scattered across the glass tabletop, soft words and the soft clink of glass on glass is all you hear from the partially opened patio door as you slip into the kitchen.

You open the junk food cabinet to find the tin of cookies Bucky had gifted you with two days ago is still there (how you don’t know, but you’re thankful) and still half-full of the little sugar cookies identical to the ones you had the other afternoon. He’s so thoughtful, you muse.

You’re almost back to your room with your tin of goodies when it happens.

A loud boom echoes far too close for comfort, making you jump while you clutch the tin to your chest, fighting back a scream. Then you hear the sound of gunshots, your heart rate already rising.

There is nowhere safer to be. There is nowhere safer to be. There is nowhere safer to be! You repeat the mantra in your head as you automatically head towards Bucky’s room at a run.

He’s not here. Panic blooms in your chest as you throw open his bedroom door and find it barren. No. No. No! He’d gone to his room when you had after dinner...where could he be?! You close his door and rush back down the hall towards the kitchen. Kitchens have knives, you reason to yourself. Killers don’t look that often in kitchens, right? Velociraptors, yes. Bad guys, hopefully not so much.

The lights go out as red alarm lights begin flashing overhead, spurring your feet to move faster.

That’s when suddenly you crash into a hard body.

You’re praying it’s Bucky or Steve.

It isn’t.

The man in black tactical gear grabs your arm, forcing you to face the wall before shoving you into it harsh enough to make the precious cookie tin slip from your grasp. You gasp loudly at the pain shooting through your cheek he’d smashed into the wall and at the angle he’s still got your arm in. Your back is to his chest, so you do as Gracie Lou Freebush taught you and SING!

You bring most of your weight onto your right heel, shoving in at the tip of his boot before snapping your head back hard against his face. He yelps out a few expletives while you thank whoever that this dude was just a little taller than you and not Steve or Bucky’s size. You spin around now that you’re free of his grasp and bring your knee up as quick and hard as you can into his groin, hoping that the tactical gear isn’t that thick there, before flattening your palm like Natasha showed you and thrusting it up and into his nose. You fist that same hand and jab at the uncovered skin you can see by his Adam's apple. He doubles over and while you know it’s stupid and cliche, you grab your cookie tin and continue past the gasping man faster towards the kitchen.

When you run into a second body, you decide you’ll try out the whole tossing your foe over your shoulder thing, but then you feel the cool metal against your wrist before Bucky pulls you against his chest roughly. He releases your wrist, metal hand cupping the back of your head and pulling you tighter against his chest.

“Scared the shit out of me, doll.” He breathes against your hair as you cling to him. Safe. He pulls back to look at you and he frowns, eyes running frantically all over you. “Are you hurt?”

“Not really.”

“Where’d this blood come from?”

“I think I broke a guys nose,” Your voice is unsure but Bucky looks proud.

“Good. Good, babydoll. Okay, we gotta get you to the safe room now.” You nod shakily as you pull away, your hand slipping into his easily before your eyes widen. Bucky drops your hand and pushes you behind him, looking at the six men now standing in the hallway, blocking your way to the kitchen and wherever the fuck the safe room is. Bucky looks around before tapping the comm in his ear. “Hall blocked. I’ve got Y/N. Sending her outside to safety.”

Sending you OUTSIDE to safety?! What sense does that make, Bucky!?

“Run for where you saw the 3 bucks,” Bucky orders sternly before grabbing you, throwing open a little hatch in the wall and tossing you through the tight metal shaft.

You scream most of the way down until you land on mostly soft things. You shove your hand down to steady yourself on the - fuck, he threw you down the garbage shute! Climbing through the giant dumpster trough is a feat in itself, only to reach the sides and find them sticky with residue that nearly makes you faceplant back into the dumpster. You manage to wrangle yourself out and shimmy down the side, with only minor scrapes and cuts your sides and hands, trying not to gag at the scent that now clings to you. At least you’re safe...Well, safer. You still need to get to the clearing.

You aren’t sure how many are outside, so you press yourself against the dumpster as close as you can and ease your way around it until you can almost see the corner that will lead you to the patio and the edge of the woods.

But that’s when a man holding what looks like an electrified baton, steps out of the shadows just feet in front of you, teeth gleaming menacingly in the moonlight.

“Well, fuck,” you huff out angrily before searching the ground around you for a weapon.

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

“Where’s Y/N? Anyone have eyes on Y/N?” Steve yells through the comms before soft grunts echo through.

“Tin-Man lost Y/N.” Tony’s voice comes in before there is a crackle of lightning right beside Bucky as he exits the house in a mad dash for the clearing.

“Fuck you, Stark. I didn’t lose her, I simply misplaced her. House is clear. Eyes? Anyone?!” He’s sure he’s panting because his chest is so tight with worry. Fuck, he did lose her. There is no answer, which means no one has seen her. Sweet Jesus, please don’t let anything have happened to her...

“All clear on the east side,” Clint’s voice confirms, not easing the worry bubbling inside Bucky.

“All clear on the north side,” Natasha huffs out. Shit. Shit. SHIT!

The clearing is empty, no sounds coming from the forest. NO! Bucky spins on his heel and heads back for the compound.

“The west side is clear,” T’Challa’s voice comes over. “No sign of Y/N, Bucky.”

“Southside is clear. Except for the debris and unconscious dudes,” Scott affirms before adding softly. “No Y/N here either.”

“Alright - everyone spread out and find her. Queens and Bruce can stay out here while Thor, Strange, Wong and Vision all start to round up these morons. Buck, where do we start?”

“I tossed her out the chute by the kitchen and I just checked the clearing and she’s not here.”

“I’m sorry, you what?” Wanda asks, disbelief clear even through the comms.

“He tossed the girl he’s been mooning over for a week down the damn kitchen garbage chute!” Sam chortles while Bucky fights the need to punch something. Anything. Preferably Sam.

Okoye, Shuri, and Natasha all are headed towards where she was last seen when Okoye stops.

“Do you hear that?” The others stop, straining their ears. They hear a few soft grunts followed by a soft “Help” so breathy if they hadn’t stopped they might not have heard it.

Hope and Steve are coming from the opposite direction, all of them looking around before the shouts grow louder.

“Help! Please!” A pause. A cough. “HELP!” Bucky comes huffing up behind Steve, searching you out.

“Doll?!”

Hope is the one who peers down into the open incinerator hole, “Got her!” she yells before Steve jumps down to help you out.

When Hope and Okoye pull you up, you’re beyond relieved but you only manage to get one semi-clear breath in before hands are cupping your face, making you look into relief-filled storm blue eyes.

“Are you alright? Is anything broken? Are you hurt? Doll, answer me.”

“I don’t think anything’s broken,” You answer before feeling the rage you’d felt earlier returning. “You threw me down the garbage chute.”

Bucky tenses at your angry tone. “It was the safest option at the time, sweetheart.” Tony and the rest of the Avengers and Thor come around the corner about this time, your eyes never leaving Bucky’s as you get angrier and angrier.

“You. Threw. Me. Down. The. Garbage. Chute.” You shove his hands from your face. “And safe?!” You wave the baton you’d taken from black tactical uniformed asshole #8. “That asshole,” pointing the baton down towards the hole you’d both tumbled down, with you luckily landing on him to break your fall. “Was waiting out here ready to electrocute my ass into either compliance or peeing on myself, but yeah, I’m sure sticking with a fucking former sniper and super soldier was a bad plan.” Bucky is grinning with relief, he can practically feel it coursing through his veins like a drug. Now, his mind supplies with glee. And Bucky heeds the call, reclaiming the little space you’d put between the two of you, his hands cupping your face before his lips gently meet yours. He can hear you inhale sharply, moving his lips gently against yours.

And for a few moments, you surrender. It just feels so nice. You don’t want it to stop. But the anger reminds you that you could have died from the fall while your brain reminds you that you didn’t. And his lips feel so damn good.

You pull away, taking a deep breath as Bucky looks at you with hope dancing in those blue eyes.

“I need a shower,” You snap, withdrawing further from Bucky and marching back towards the compound’s closest patio. They can all hear you talking to yourself as you leave. “Maybe update beyond a plain chain-link fence? Who the fuck attacks the fucking Avengers compound, huh? Maybe put a stupid cover over the giant ash and fire pit in the ground! Stupid asshole, he’s lucky he broke my fall. What is in my hair?! Can’t believe he kissed me...fucking cookies...”

Pepper and Wanda follow after her while Natasha shakes her head at Bucky.

“A garbage chute, Barnes? And then she fell into the incinerator pit?”

“I didn’t plan it that way! I figured she’d get to the clearing and be safe!” Bucky defends, throwing his hands in the air.

“I thought you were smooth with women back in the day?” Rhodey asks, gesturing from Bucky to where you’d gone.

“You must go and make this right. But you might want to wait a bit since she still had a very firm hold on that stick.” Thor offers with a cheery smile. “I like her already!” Cookies. The thought of her holding that tin so tightly to her chest spurs Bucky to begin searching the ground before heading over to the garbage bin.

“Whatcha doin’, Tin-Man?” Tony asks, hovering to watch him.

“She had her cookie tin when I found her,” He grunts out, shoving the garbage out of the way to see the bottom of the metal bin.

“It’s not in there, Sergeant Barnes.” Vision confirms, making Bucky jump out with a huff.

“You can make her some more as an apology, Buck.” Steve huffs out as he dusts off the ash from the pit.

“Yeah…”

“You’re going to need a lot more than cookies,” Wanda’s voice is a whisper through the comms.

“Why?” Bruce asks, looking at Wong who shrugs.

“Whatever was in the dumpster, it mixed with the ashes and residue in the incinerator and it’s clumping in her hair. Pepper has her in the bathtub, trying to work it out as you would gum, but it’s not all coming out. We’ve got some of it...Maybe Shuri or Bruce can help? Otherwise, Pepper is going to call her hairdresser…”

“Oh shit. Yeah, you’re gonna need a whole lot more than cookies if you’ve fucked up her hair. I know that from experience,” Sam affirms before giving a shiver and heads back to where they tossed all the intruders.

“Best way is to admit you were and are a dumbass, then give her a few of her favorite things...oh, and she liked those chocolate chip pancakes you made - make those!” Bucky groans, looking from Clint - his suggestion is the best, after all - to Steve who is ready to begin doling out orders for cleanup.

“I’m just gonna give her some time. I’ll apologize in the morning. With pancakes and cookies.”

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

After Pepper and Wanda try to work the solidified goo from your hair for almost two hours, you give up and just ask Pepper to call her hairdresser.

You didn’t know she’d come right away.

You barely step out of the shower when Wanda knocks to let you know she’s there.

It takes her about twenty-five minutes to cut all the wads from the ends of your hair, the highest luckily only coming a couple of inches up. You had wanted to cut your hair anyways you suppose…

She evens it out beautifully before smothering your hair in a mask as a knock on your door, draws all of your attention to the door. Part of you wants it to be Bucky. Needs it to be Bucky... The other part is hesitant - mostly because now you’ve had time to calm down and think about everything - you had said some harsh things. You had basically rejected him. And it hurt that you did that to Bucky.

The person at the door isn’t Bucky, it’s a nurse to check you over. You have a few scrapes on your hands from the metal edges of the trash bin and a few cuts on your arms and neck from wrestling with your assailant. You have a nasty bruise on the back of your left thigh from landing on it but right now it’s just a dull ache. She adds split lip and an electric-based burn on your forearm to the papers.

“Nothing major, thankfully!” She’s far too chipper for you right now so you just give a little sigh and nod.

After everyone leaves - having to placate Wanda and Pepper several times over that you are alright - you stand there in the middle of the room, bewildered. What do you do now? Is this how they all feel after battles?

You wander over to the desk, looking over the interviews you were working on before the attack, but you can’t seem to settle.

Just like before.

A shiver runs down your spine at the thought.

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

Bucky is lying in bed, rubbing both hands roughly over his face while his mind goes over the last couple hours like fucking torturous instant replay.

A groan bubbles up in his throat as he stares at the ceiling.

He knows he’s made things bad but he hadn’t wanted you to see him like that.

Because he had felt more unhinged than he had in a long time...he didn’t know where you were and then someone had hurt you. The rage he had barely contained was let loose the moment he had turned around from shoving you down the chute. The six men were lucky. The man who had limped from the hallway after he finished with the six idiots, was not.

He’s so lost in his thoughts, in his selfishness - he barely registers the knock at his door. Huffing out a breath, he tosses his sheet over to cover his nudity...Steve didn’t seem to care but Sam threw a hissy fit every time he barged into his room and found him naked.

“Yeah,” Bucky calls out gruffly, tossing his flesh arm over his eyes, trying to prepare himself for whatever lecture he was about to receive.

“I don’t want to sleep alone.” He pops up at the sound of your voice, drinking the sight of you in like a thirsty man who had just crossed the desert. “I’m scared.”

His heart breaks. You should feel safe here. That’s all they had to do was protect you and he failed. Miserably. You look so small against the dark wood door, the oversized shirt from before is gone - a dark blue tank top in its place - but those tiny little shorts still there. Those would have been considered underwear back in his day.

You move forward slowly, coming to a stop at the empty side of his bed.

“I’m...um…”

“Naked?”

“Yeah.” She turns her back and sits on the edge of the bed with a soft sigh, perhaps relief? “Okay,” Bucky is standing by the bed in his black boxers, searching your face for what he’d seen earlier, but all he sees is tiredness and tears sitting ready to spill. “Come on.” He eases back into bed, watching as you mimic him.

Bucky can hear you swallow once you’re settled, staring up at the ceiling as he had done earlier. The both of you lie on your backs with a small space between the two of you, the soft breathing the only thing to break the silence.

“I’m sorry for how I acted. You saved my life. I should have been more grateful.”

“I shouldn’t have tossed you down that chute like that. I didn’t - I couldn’t - let you see me do what I did. You’d have been safer if I would have kept you with me.” You don’t reply - not verbally, at least. Your hand finds his under the sheet, gripping it tightly before linking your fingers through his. “I’m sorry about your hair,” Bucky whispers in the dark room, half-afraid to look at you.

“It’s just hair. It will grow back. Maybe I’ll cut it shorter once I get used to this length. I cried a little when Pepper was working on getting it out...seeing chunk and chunk of that stuff on one of those plush white towels...I honestly think it was the whole ordeal that made me cry. The hair was just the kicker.”

Bucky doesn’t know what to say, just squeezes your hand before he feels your gaze on him. Like a siren call he can’t ignore, his eyes meet yours.

“Stop blaming yourself Bucky. You thought you were keeping me from seeing you beat the ever-living fuck from those guys and keeping me safe by getting me out and away from where they all were.” He can hear your voice break as you fight back tears. “Please don’t take that burden. I’m fine. I’m safe.”

“With me,” Bucky breathes out, releasing your hand for the second time that night, turning on his side before drawing you closer, as close as possible. “You’re safe, babydoll. Okay? I’m a dumbass. I should have done what made sense and keep you close.”

He can feel you chuckle against his chest, inhaling the sweet scent of your shampoo as he idly rubs his cheek against the top of your head.

“You are a dumbass, Barnes.” He sucks in a breath, a tightness already forming in his chest. “But you are an achingly good person, so I’m going to forgive this incident. Next time, I’m not gonna be so lenient.” It’s all mumbled against his chest, your fingers digging slightly into his back as you cling to him like he is doing to you.

“I’ll make you chocolate chip pancakes and cookies ‘til you pop.”

“Mmmhmm,” You hum against his chest, giving a little wiggle before taking a few deep breaths. “Goodnight Bucky, you handsome dumbass.”

“Goodnight, doll,” Bucky waits until he hears your breathing even out before he adds. “Your dumbass, sweetheart.”

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

Everyone wakes up to find Steve panicking that Y/N isn’t in her room.

“She’s gone!”

“Calm down, Steve.” Natasha orders, handing Clint his third cup of coffee.

“I checked the surveillance cameras, she didn’t leave the compound,” He rambles. “And I’ve checked the grounds, she isn’t anywhere to be found.”

“Did you ask everyone? Maybe she’s talking to Wong or Bruce or Okoye. Get ahold of yourself, Rogers. A man your age doesn’t need the added stress.” Steve shoots her a glare that clearing has some language undertones.

“Morning,” Tony says brightly, tossing the morning newspapers onto the kitchen bar top and taking a seat.

“Tony, Y/N is missing.”

“Ah. Is she now? FRIDAY?”

“Yes, Boss?”

“Is our little writer still on the premises?”

“Yes, Boss.”

“See? No need to worry, Steve. A man your age could have a heart attack.”

“Oh hardy-fucking-har har,” Steve spits out while Tony grins, just before they all hear a loud gasp.

“Captain!” Shuri has her hand over her heart dramatically. “Language!” Steve throws up a hand.

“One more language or old man joke and someone - or multiple someones - are getting some shield. Understand?” They all fucking snap to attention and salute, T’Challa walking in with a sigh.

“Please say this is for him and not for me.”

“No, it’s for the Captain,” Peter clarifies with a bright grin before schooling his face back to serious.

“Alright then.” Steve nearly snaps when T’Challa joins in, trying to hide a smile as he stands at attention.

“Fine! I’m going to keep looking for Y/N!” And stomps from the room.

“You guys really should have shouted ‘America’s Ass!’ when you snapped to attention,” Scott muses as he heads towards the coffee pot.

“Damnit! Why didn’t I think of that?!” Tony groans out before Natasha slides him a glass of orange juice and smiles over the rim of her glass.

“There’s always later, Tony.”

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

“Bucky! Have you seen - AHH!” Bucky shoots up, making sure to angle himself to cover you as he held a gun pointed at the intruder.

“Jesus, pal. Maybe knock next time?” Bucky grumbles out, replacing the gun next to his lamp on his bedside table as he feels your fingers on his bicep. You sleepily peeking around him to look at Steve with murder clearly written on your face is the epitome of too cute.

“I didn’t - I’m sorry - I-I was just looking for -”

“What time is it Steve?” You yawn out, interrupting him.

“It’s, um, 8:30.”

“AM?!”

“Yes.”

“What the actual fuck? I didn’t get to sleep until after 3. Not cool, Rogers.” And you toss yourself back down before reaching up to pull at Bucky’s arm with a little whine at the back of your throat.

“Oh, yeah. I’ll, um, I’ll just go then. See you when you get up.” Even Steve doesn’t understand what you mumbled out, his brow furrowed as he pulls the door closed quietly behind him as Bucky waves him off. Bucky wiggles downward, changing their positions from last night - his face pressed against your collarbone as he feels your fingers slip into his hair, winding his arms around your middle with a sigh of contentment.

You both drift off wrapped up safely in each other again.

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

“You find her?”

“Yep.” Steve walks briskly into the kitchen, reaching for his coffee cup.

“Well, don’t leave us hanging in suspense!” Hope chides as Steve adds some brown sugar to his coffee before moving around Sam towards the liquor counter. All eyebrows raise as he pours a healthy amount into his coffee cup.

“She was with Bucky.”

“What?!”

“After what happened last night?!”

“Did the old man finally get laid?” They’re all talking over one another or talking to each other about this development.

“I don’t think she’s gonna have sex with him after that. Maybe she just went in to talk and they fell asleep together. I don’t know. I didn’t get to ask too many questions. She’s not a morning person and running on less than five hours of sleep doesn’t make her any more of a morning person.”

“Well, where are they?”

“She pulled him back down and they went back to sleep.”

“That’s adorable!” Wanda gives a little squeal of delight before adding a dollop of whipping cream to Steve’s cup of Irish coffee.

“It seems the endeavor to bring them together has worked,” Vision expressed, nodding at everyone like they had done a good job.

“He has to ask her out. That’s the goal.” Wong utters as he waits for the tea kettle to warm up.

“Wong’s right. He’s gotta ask her out.”

“Who has to ask whom out?” Thor asks as he struts into the kitchen. “I am glad I came ahead. I got to have some fun before the interrogation.”

“Interview,” Okoye corrects with pursed lips.

“Ah yes, interview. But who is asking who out?”

“Bucky needs to ask Y/N out,” Pepper clarifies, hugging Thor before taking the barstool next to Tony.

“She seemed upset with him earlier this morning.”

“He threw her out the trash chute,” Shuri reiterates.

“Better than a high window. Or into the vacuum of space.” Natasha shoots Clint a look at Thor’s words, which just makes him chuckle loudly before gesturing at the Irish whiskey Steve left on the counter. She rolls her eyes and hands it to him.

“Yes. Very right, Pikachu. But what else can we do? We’ve pushed them together at mealtimes, they’ve napped together - now they’d slept together,” Thor opens his mouth but Bruce just shakes his head and Thor closes his mouth. “Sleep, not sex, Thor. He’s been smiling more, following her around when she isn’t interviewing...maybe we should send them to town for supplies make up an activity to do and then we all bail?”

“What scares me is you are a certified genius…” Shuri utters with a hearty sigh. “This isn’t a Lifetime movie, people.”

“It wouldn’t be a Lifetime movie anyway!” Scott argues, drumming his fingers on the countertop. “We need, like, a ‘You’ve Got Mail’ scenario.”

“That’s not gonna work! They’ve met. They aren’t competitors,” Clint argues back, shaking his head vehemently. 

“Okay, everyone gives ONE idea!” Stephen pipes up as he leans against the coffee bar.

“We should go over tropes!” Peter jumps in with the first offer.

“Finally! A good idea!” Shuri agrees with a broad smile.

“Alright, let’s make a list,” Pepper pulls out her phone. “Trope one?”

“Bedsharing. Check.”

“Could we do a sick/injured one?” Natasha asks, looking from Shuri to Peter.

Peter nods seriously. “I’ll allow it.”

“Sending them on a blind date?” Hope offers, smearing butter on her toast as Scott hands her a jar of peach preserves.

“Oh, yes. That could work. Add that please, Pepper.”

“Why are we listening to children?” Stephen looks around the group, hands wide with a universal ‘what’ gesture.

“Cause we are very intelligent. And you aren’t throwing out any good ideas, Strange.” Peter snorts at Shuri’s comment.

“Mutual pining for sure,” Sam adds, cracking open an energy drink.

“Poorly timed confession? When he kissed her?” Okoye slips into the last barstool, Shuri grinning from ear to ear at her addition.

“You know so much, Okoye.”

“It is my job, Princess.”

“Anger born of worry, definitely a possibility for Y/N…” Tony mutters more to himself than anyone else, as he scrolls through his phone, looking at the list of tropes he found.

“Innocent physical contact?” Steve peers over Tony’s shoulder. “Hand holding when they napped.”

“Sleep intimacy.”

“Well, that didn’t seem to help. We just made a list of things they’ve done,” Thor looks at Sam’s can before rooting around in the fridge for a similar one.

“Exactly, Mr. Thor. We need a starting point. They both seem to be sort of dancing around each other, so we have to also go with what they’re comfortable with.”

“Excellent, Spider-Parker. Continue.”

“Just go old school. Send her flowers in his name. She thanks him, he plays along, if he’s smart he asks her out - Done.” Bruce vocalizes, Hope offering him a slice of toast.

“Or…,” T’Challa begins, “We could take them to Vegas, get them drunk and get them married. I have now solved all the future problems they’ll encounter as well. You are welcome.”

“Why not just get them drunk here and since I’m ordained, and you’re a King, we could just marry them?”

“Is this really what we’re going with?” Skepticism is rampant in Pepper’s voice as she sets her phone down, eyebrow raised at Rhodey - who has been remarkably silent in the corner, a guardian of the newly brewed pot of coffee.

“Listen, if he’s not smart enough to see he needs to snap her up, I can’t help the man.”

“I just think he needs a little push,” Wanda expresses as she picks at her fingernail absentmindedly.

“Or we just watch and hope he pulls his head out of his ass,” Stephen mutters, pouring more hot water into his cup with a grimace.

“God, it’ll be another 70 years,” Steve groans, polishing off his Irish coffee.

“We’re talking about Bucky, Steve - not you,” Natasha reasons, patting his forearm and flashing a cocky grin.

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

Tony staring down at the marble countertop with his hands on either side of his head with Pepper sitting beside him at the kitchen bar top reading something on her tablet. Bucky is making breakfast - well, more like brunch and a brunch overload at that - pancakes, coffee, bacon, sausage, ham, waffles, and he’s working on eggs when everyone drags themselves back into the kitchen.

“Where’s Y/N?” Shuri asks as she pours herself some juice.

“In the garden,” Bucky answered distractedly before taking a long drink from his black insulated tumbler.

“How is she?”

“She’s been on the phone since she came out of Mr. Bucky’s room,” Peter pipes up happily before walking by Tony and squeezes his shoulder. “Did you guys see she posted the first interview?”

“Who did she post first? Was it me?”

“No, uh, sorry, Sam. She posted Mrs. Pepper’s first.”

“How many times have you read that Tony?” Steve asks, taking his own long drink from his coffee cup as his blonde hair sticks up everywhere.

“Four. He didn’t even tell me until the third time,” Pepper answers for him.

“Five now,” Tony corrects, leaning back in the barstool. “It’s everything I could have wanted.” Natasha takes the tablet from in front of Tony, bracing her elbows on the counter before scrolling to the top and settling in to read. Pepper hands her tablet to Steve as Thor climbs into the seat besides Tony, taking a few waffles from the pile and dousing them with far too much syrup.

“Kid, tell her breakfast is ready,” Bucky orders softly, Peter already out of his seat and out the wood covered patio door before Bucky gets to the word ‘ready’. Repairs to the windows and door the intruders broke will be fixed later today, Pepper confirmed earlier since Tony was distracted, for now, they’re just boarded up.When Peter returns with her, there is just the sounds of Bucky finishing up and soft shuffles as people shift where they’re sitting or standing. Almost everyone is looking down at their devices or eating, which makes you more nervous, he can tell.

Bucky had woken up to an empty bed and his giant tumbler filled with hot coffee sitting on his bedside table, the sweet smell and pale color tipping him off immediately to what his doll has been up to. He didn’t know exactly what she’d put in it, it was different from the other times, not as chocolatey but sweet enough to appease his sweet tooth.

He watches you from the corner of his eye as he carefully plates the two biggest, warmest pancakes onto a plate for you, balancing two pieces of bacon and a couple of pieces of sausage at the top of the plate while you slip into the barstool on the other side of Okoye who had claimed the seat by Pepper.

Bucky carefully slides the plate before you, a silent offering of apology. Even if you’ve said multiple times he doesn’t need to apologize...he knows he has to. You deserve every apology he can muster.

“Morning,” He rushes to say it and it comes out rougher than he planned nearly wincing at his overeagerness.

“Good morning,” You reply softly, “Thank you for breakfast.”

“Of course, doll.” Everyone is trying not to look at the two of you and you both appreciate that.

Tony points to the tablet in Natasha’s hand.

“We need to talk about this later, kid. Wonderful stuff.”

“Really?” She’s beaming, the nerves she had suddenly gone - like a weight lifted from her shoulders. Tony nods as he takes a big bite of sausage.

“Yeah, kid. I love it. I really do.”

“When we get done eating, can Thor join me in the garden please?” Bucky fights the need to tense up at your words, putting a few pancakes on his own plate before adding a heap of eggs, smothering his pancakes in buttery syrup as if every action will somehow prolong the inevitable. But you slept in his bed last night. Woke up wrapped around him. The thoughts don’t stop the jealousy already clawing at his belly.

Thor just looks at you with happiness painted on his features, extending a hand behind Pepper to shake yours.

“I did not think last night was a good time to introduce myself. Thor, Son of Odin and Frigga.”

“Y/N, Daughter of Lily Lee. Pleased to meet you.”

“You as well. I like your hair cut. I know what it is like to have no decision in removing your hair and I am sorry. But it will grow back.” He adds cheerfully, spearing a forkful of eggs. “This is only 8 years worth since that madman on Sakaar shorn me like a sheep!”

“Asgardians hair must grow fast.” Thor bobs his blonde head. “Where is Sakaar?”

“It is a place I would never take a lovely woman such as yourself. It is a prize fighting planet filled with thieves, vagrants, and mercenaries which is ruled by a sexually-deviant man called the Grand Master.” He shoves half a waffle in his mouth, cheeks round as he smiles and points his fork at Bruce. “You remember Sakaar, don’t you, Bruce? Hulk was top fighter there!”

Bucky watches your eyes widen as your gaze falls on Bruce.

“You didn’t mention Sakaar, Dr. Banner.”

“Why-why would I? It’s a terrible planet, like-like Thor said. Plus, I-I was Hulk and don’t remember everything about that time.” Thor and Bruce nod along together, Bucky nearly rolls his eyes at the two. Their sublty and Shuri’s absolutely needed some work.

“Of course. I’m sorry to prod, Bruce.”

“No problem. No problem at all.” Tony is looking at Bruce, confusion written all over his face,  who shrugs as soon as you look away.

“Well, I’m going to get my things, Thor. I’ll see you in the garden.” She rises from the seat and puts her dirty plate in the sink, Bruce stuttering out he’ll wash it before her hand falls on Bucky’s wrist. “Thank you again for breakfast, Bucky.”

Now it’s his turn to stutter. “O-of course, doll.”

As you disappear down the hallway, Bucky meets Thor’s gaze, the god smiling knowingly at him.

Asshat.

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

Thor starts your interview with a hug, complimenting you on the stories that Nebula shared with him from the many electronic mails that Tony had sent.

“I’m glad you liked them.”

“Oh yes. I think even my brother would have had to admit they were well written.”

“How is your brother?”

“I have seen him but twice on my travels with the Guardians. But he seems well. He is not the brother I lost to Thanos, not as mature, he is more Trickster...but he seems to avoid getting himself into too much hot water.” He sighs, absentmindedly stroking his beard. “I suppose I am just happy he is alive and well. I dare not ask for more.” You pat his knee as you nod.

“We can’t change our family. But the family you found is always here and welcoming.”

“Of course. I am very grateful for such a family.”

“May we begin?”

“Yes. Let us begin.”

“What was it like growing up on Asgard?”

“Beautiful. Peaceful. Even when we were being trained to be warriors, there was still joy in me. I was always happy to protect Asgard.”

“It’s been mentioned to me by others that you are actually not the King of Asgard as many news agencies constantly report.”

“No,” He gives a little chuckle as he looks over the roses. “No, I am not King of Asgard. I never wanted to be. Loki should have been King, he was more for politics and intrigue and silver-tongued words. I am a warrior. It is that simple.”

“Is it?” Those electric blue eyes bore into you, brows furrowed slightly. “‘Cause you let your home planet be destroyed to protect your people. You ferried quite a few Asgardians who were flung across the cosmos back here to live with their own people. I’d say that’s more than just a simple warrior.”

“You flatter me, my lady.” You laugh at his words.

“I’m not terribly into flattery, so you won’t be getting any more of that from me.”

“Noted,” He remarks, his serious face being held for only a few seconds before it breaks into a wide smile that reminds you of the sun. Did his mother ever look at him as a baby and think ‘this is Thor - my little god of sunshine’? You’d bet a fair amount of money she did.

“Things on Asgard were medieval-ish in terms of the way you spoke, the way you dressed...yet you were far more advanced than even we are now. Probably more than we will be in a hundred years. Why visit us so long ago, when we were far less advanced than now?”

“You were a simpler people. Not stupid, but not quite ready to dream of going out into the stars. All of the cultures we visited were so different...good medical knowledge, fairly good at outlining the stars, planets, and constellations, all very clean and focused on the betterment of their people. And then I believe it was the Dark Ages and you lot seemed to take a few dozen steps backward. Like you had all, as one, forgotten the hard-earned knowledge of your forebearers. We did not come back for a great many years after that. But you have relearned most of what was lost. Wakanda seems to be the best because of it, seeming to have lost the least amount of knowledge over the centuries.”

“Have you read any of the Viking mythology?”

“Tony has made a few mentions of it during our time together, but I did not understand all of his references.”

“Viking mythology is quite different from Asgardian fact. You are the oldest legitimate son of Odin, so you would still be King. Loki is still a Frost Giant raised as an Asgardian. But Hela is not your sister, Hela is Loki’s daughter - well in some versions. He - um - in a certain story,” You wiggle a little on the bench under his intense, but friendly gaze. “Turned into a mare and let himself be impregnated by an Asgardian stallion. He then gives birth to a nine-legged horse that Odin uses named Sleipnir.”

Thor bursts out laughing, deep, rich and from his belly as he slaps his hand on his knee a few times before taking a deep breath and wiping away a few tears.

“Oh! You MUST send me more of these stories! They are wildly inaccurate and very, very amusing!”

“What’s your favorite thing about Earth?”

“Besides these stories I have just learned of? I enjoy the clothes but dislike the lack of armor. I like coffee! I add a little bit of Asgardian mead to mine to make it more enjoyable. I enjoy the fact that you are all so resilient. Most of you so willing to do what’s right, you just act upon that need - it is quite endearing. Selfies! I have become quite good at taking selfies with people! You all also opened your planet to me and my people when we were in need. I also enjoy those Oreo cookie things that Quill packs onboard that I steal and share with Rocket and Groot.”

Another snack thief… You make a note under Thor’s name, before adding Oreos just under it.

“You left New Asgard to go travel with the Guardians. Is Quill still the leader?”

“Yes. Of course.” You giggle at his face.

“Your mouth says yes, but your eyes don’t seem to agree!”

“You have a lovely laugh. And I suppose I am used to being the leader or, at least an equal to the leader, and 3500 years of that is a hard thing to break. I will call it a toss-up on most days.”

“Thank you for that compliment, Thor. Are you a morning or a night person?”

“I like all times of the day, but I do enjoy sleeping in when I can.”

“What would happen if you summoned lightning and I was holding onto Stormbreaker at the time?”

“You would not be able to wield such a weapon, little one. But you have nothing to fear, I would not let any harm come to you - lightning or attempting to wield Stormbreaker. The lightning would simply go where I wanted it to and I would be wielding the ax, so no harm would come from you hanging onto it.”

“How do you deal with all the loss you’ve had in the last fifteen years?” Thor gives you a sad smile.

“One day at a time, as do we all. I have very much to be thankful for, so I think of that often when I feel weighed down.”

“Do you take fruit from Tony’s farm when you go into space? Have you tried giving them space fruit?”

“Yes, Tony has had some. As well as Rhodey. I am not sure the others have tried any. I should bring a few big crates for them to try next time we come to visit!”

“Would you like to tell me more about your family and growing up?”

“What else would you like to know, little rose?” You cover up the shock at the nickname with a bright smile, nodding eagerly before flipping to another page of questions you have for him.

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

You’re all about to sit down when FRIDAY announces that the Guardians are about to land on the east side of the compound. You snatch up your camera, which had eerily reappeared in your room this morning, from the kitchen counter and run outside to snap a few pictures of the landing.

Meeting “The Space Division”, as Tony lovingly refers to them, is amazing!

Carol is funny, sarcastic and a bit dry, she immediately reminded you of a lot less weighed down version of Tony. Maybe a mix of Tony, Wanda, and Clint. That thought gives you a little concern.

Nebula glares as you extend your hand before giving a little huff and shaking it roughly. You don’t mind, Tony and Thor have warned you she was rough around the edges. You give her your warmest smile and allow her her space afterward.

Gamora gives you a firm handshake, sizing you up before offering a tight smile. “Don’t mind the idiots too much, I’ll help keep them in line for the questioning.” She says softly before dropping your hand and stepping aside.

Thor wraps his arms around you in another hug, tighter than the last, before pulling back to introduce you to Groot and Rocket. You manage a thank you as he releases you, seeing Bucky come into your line of sight behind Thor, you smile again - this one just for him since he looks a little glum.

“These are my very good friends, little rose. Tree and Rabbit,” His voice is filled with pride and glee, so you try to school your face when he calls Rocket a rabbit.

Groot shakes your hand and smiles wide, “I am Groot,” falling easily from his mouth as he beams down at you.

Rocket perches up by Groot’s elbow to shake your hand afterward, “I’ll be translating for him during your interrogation thing.” You thank him profusely as Thor gives a little frown beside you.

“Interview, friend.”

“Right. Right.” Rocket agrees with a little shrug before a giant wall of muscle stands before you - shirtless.

“I am Drax the Destroyer.”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” You pause. “The writer.” He nods as if the title is exactly what he needed to hear before yanking your hand away from your side and giving it a few firm shakes before dropping it and moving to the left.

“This is Mantis. She knows she is hideously ugly, so there is no need to bring it up again.” Your brows furrow at Drax’s summation as you look at the woman before you. She isn’t ugly. At least not here on Earth.

“Hello, Mantis, nice to meet you.” She keeps her hands clasped together lightly before her, giving a nod at you instead

“Don’t mind Drax. His vision of beauty is horribly skewed,” A male voice says from behind Drax, pushing him out of the way to reveal a nice looking man in red leather who has plastered on his most charming, boyish smile as he extends his hand. “I’m Peter Quill, you may know me as Star-Lord.”

“Of course,” You answer brightly as his other hand comes up to clasp tightly around the hand he still has a hold of, stepping a little closer as he does so.

“You have beautiful eyes,” He begins before Steve clears his throat loudly to your right.

“Lunch?” He reminds in a tone that leaves no room for argument. Bucky appears at your side like magic, offering his arm as he stares ahead. You gently slip yours through it, setting your other hand on his forearm. Thor is holding the door open and smiles brightly at you, blue eyes nearly electric with the light shining in them. Bucky gruffly thanks him before escorting you to your seat, which is opposite the Guardians. Bucky makes sure you’re settled before he takes his seat beside you, with T’Challa on your other side.

Lunch passes much like the first dinner you had with the Avengers, with you recording and feeling a bit like an interloper, but at the same time more comfortable in the group. The Avengers really help you not feel like the odd man out, and it does seem to ease something in Carol and Nebula as they interact with you. Quill and Thor keep smiling overly friendly at you, Bucky’s arm landing on the back of your chair about halfway through dinner. T’Challa says something to him in isiXhosa that nearly has Bucky sputtering into his wine, making you pat his back roughly before rubbing a few circles as you make sure he’s okay.

“Fine, doll. Just fine. Sometimes T’Challa’s humor throws me off.”

Dessert is individual layered desserts with cookies on the side and you nearly squeal when you see the homemade sugar cookies on your plate with the colored sugar on top. You bite into one eagerly, making a little noise at the sound, a chuckle sounding to your right as Bucky watches your happy little wiggle.

One of the things you learn quickly is that Nebula doesn’t talk much, and when she does, it’s blunt. Quill, on the other hand, talks a lot. Especially about himself. Which you don’t mind - just look at your chosen profession - but it’s cocky and you aren’t one for this ego-boosting performance. Especially overly dramatic, long-winded ones... Rocket is rolling his eyes at the story Quill is telling, his hand miming talking while he mouths ‘Blah, Blah, Blah’. Then Quill throws one of his cookies as Rocket, who ducks and it hits Groot - and while you’re sure he’s physically fine, the look in his eyes is one of betrayal and you pick up your unused soup spoon and throw it at Quill. He looks more startled than anything at the turn of events, rubbing his chest where your spoon hit.

“Don’t worry,” Drax shouts as he shovels in the last of his dessert. “He does not have sensitive nipples!” You try desperately to smother your laughter with your hand but fail for the most part.

“Good to know,” Clint replies for you further down the table as Bucky leans over to whisper in your ear.

“No one needed to know that, doll. And that was a hell of a shot with the spoon.” You turn to face him, foreheads almost touching.

“Did you doubt my spoon throwing skills, sir?”

“Haven’t come across a spoon thrower…” He rumbles out, smiling so wide his eyes are wrinkling on the sides again.

“So that makes me all the more impressive. I mean, you are over a hundred years old…” He leans back a little, hand over his heart.

“Ow. Bringing my age into it, doll? Rough.”

“Don’t be such a baby. Sam brings up your age constantly.”

“Does he? I ignore him most of the time…”

“No you don’t, you old fogey!” Sam hollers from a few seats down, making you laugh again. Tony leads all of you into the lounge, complete with a fully stocked bar. Bucky brings you a dirty Shirley Temple before sitting beside you with a big glass full of whiskey, Thor making himself comfortable on your other side.

He regales you with stories from his journeys throughout the nine realms, about his brother and his friends the Warriors Three. You listen to a particularly suspenseful one, Steve smiling as he leans against the bar edge a few feet away, your hand shooting out to grab onto Bucky. You miss the shocked expression when you grab his knee, squeezing it before you sputter out an embarrassed apology.

“I was - I’m sorry - I just - I was so caught up in the story…”

“It’s fine, doll. Startled me was all since I was talking to Stevie is all.” He pats the hand that was just squeezing his leg, his small smile comforting. Thor coaxes your attention back to him, finishing the story with gusto.

About two hours later you’re excusing yourself off to bed, saying you’d like to get better pictures of the outside and inside of the ship before you start the interviews. Quill eagerly agrees, offering to give you a tour until Rocket makes what you assume is a crude comment under his breath since Quill tries to kick him before flashing a bright, flirty smile at you.

You don’t see Bucky glaring menacingly at him, standing at his full height just to your left as you say your goodnights. When you turn to wish Bucky sweet dreams, his face is normal - his eyes even softer than usual as he wished you sweet dreams in return.

You don’t hear the sound of a whip Sam makes but you hear a few soft grunts just before the door clicks closed behind you.

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

[PART 4]

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Tagging: @jewelofwinter @sgtjbuccky @jaamesbbarnes @thewhiterabbit42 @nobodys-baby-now @unleashthemidnight @stay-frosty-royal-unicorn @chelsea072498 @clockworkmorningglory @sakurablossom4 @marichromatic @blondecoffeecake @ourloveisforthelovely @whinywingedwinchester @feelmyroarrrr @rowdyhooliganism @everythingisoverrated @iloveyouthreethousand-o6 @puddinsqueen @emotionallysalty @maraudingmarauder @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @strangersstranger @thefridgeismybestie @transcendent-heroes @jotink78

A/N: Found the pic online and edited it, props to Google and all rights/privileges/ownership goes to who took the photo and to Marvel who made up all these characters.

[irithyll123]

So i watched Endgame and I'm not okay

I need to get this off my chest cause its literally making me stay up at night. Here's my spoiler-ridden post-movie thoughts:

CONS:

The death of Tony Stark was honestly expected. Although I thought it could have been done a lot more tastefully.

They gave him a family, a child, and then took it away. I just...... that's just cruel after everything the character has suffered.

They choose a rather convoluted form of time-travelling mechanic. It's definitely a breath of fresh air, yet its very difficult to follow at times.

Thor's downward spiral into depression is over-the-top too. Just leaving at the alcohol and pot belly was more than enough.

Seriously, Fortnite? Really?

Bruce and Hulk's union was a missed opportunity for story telling. I get why they did it. But it took a lot out of the character's development.

Steve's decision in the end doesn't sit right with me. Both Peggy and Steve were who they eventually are because of the things they experienced while apart. Choosing to spend his time with Peggy meant taking those away from both their characters.

This also opens up a can of worms about the events in the intervening years. What about Hydra? Peggy's time in SHIELD? Did Bucky kill Tony parents?

That's the thing about time travel. Timelines are convoluted things as it is. Steve's decision makes this story's timeline mechanics even more so.

It is abundantly clear that Tom Holland did not have a full script with his scenes with RDJ. The spoiler concern is reasonable, yet i feel like it seriously caused Tom's performance to suffer. Those scenes had so much potential.

Captain Marvel had little screen time. While i understand that they dont want her overshadowing the OG team, her appearances don't have much impact to the plot. She's literally only here to blow shit up.

All that built up on her friendship with Fury, and it was barely addressed in the film.

They brought back the Black Order only for them to be useless. They were actually plot relevant threats in IW. Here, they are little more than fodder and extra pixels. I would have loved to see a rematch between Proxima and Okoye or Wanda; or Dr. Strange with Ebony.

The shot with all the Ladies (tm) were just a bit too on the nose I think. If they wanted to go for that direction at least devote some time for individual ass-kicking scenes for them. Mantis and Hope barely got to do anything!

PROS:

The special effects were amazing as usual. Its a step up from Infinity War.

Some incredible performances from the cast. Karen Gillan, RDJ, Jeremy Renner, and Paul Rudd are some of my favourites.

Cap with Mjolnir. Hell to the Y E A H. The fandom called it years ago and it was so incredibly satisfying to know we WERE RIGHT.

Thor dual wielding.

Thor's little moments with Frigga were great. He never did get closure with her death I think.

Hawkeye finally have some great moments!!!

Wanda.

"You took everything from me."

"I don't even know you."

"You will."

They did great work with her glowy eyes. Her hatred and pain and sorrow. Everything was so palpable. And she's not pulling any punches. STRONGEST AVENGER HENLO.

No kidding I'm gay as heck but seeing Elizabeth Olsen powered up like that did Things to me.

"It was either him or a tree."

ROASTED AND TOASTED QUILL BIG OOF

At the end there where Wanda and Clint talk. That was great. The both lost people outside of the snap and are forever gone. Clint has always supported Wanda. It's sweet that Wanda can try to help Clint this time and hold them both up.

SAM INHERITED THE SHIELD YAS

A part of me wanted Bucky to do so but i think this is better. Bucky had enough happened to him and he should get to be himself for a bit instead of shouldering a new identity.

[standfortheangels]

Instructions: Always repost with the rules, answer the 11 random questions left for you, and leave 11 more for the people you tag!

Tagged by: @illicreatxm

This got long so I’m going to stick it under a read more ^^

1. If you could write any canon character, which would it be and why?

Hm. I’m not sure. I have roleplayed a couple of canons before, but I find it harder to keep the muse for them. I could probably do Elsa okay, I could jump between her locked in the castle personality and her open, welcoming character post-film, which might help, but the inconsistencies in her Over-powered Powers annoy me, so I think I’d add a few limitations in there.

2. Favourite Disney movie?

Maybe Aladdin because Robin Williams is of course amazing and so perfect in that role~ Ohh but there’s also Atlantis.. And Dumbo! Aw no... Let’s just call this my top three before I get carried away >w>

3. Least favourite MCU character?

I haven't seen the more recent ones, so, I can't take into account characters like Thanos or Dr. Strange or, whoever else they've been bringing in. So out of what I've seen, I'd have to go with Bruce Banner/The Hulk.

It seemed in the earlier films that they didn't give much attention to Banner. They were all over using the Hulk to make bits interesting, but Bruce was boiled down to "quiet smart guy who CaN TuRN inTo THE HULK" so, yeah.

And the hulk himself later did like a 180° change for me. In his stand-alone film I think Hulk says like 3 words, maximum. Then rarely talks in his appearances in the other avengers brand films. Cool. We had "Puny God" and that was a-okay. One short, memorable, funny quote seems perfect.

But then what was all that when Whedon got his hands on it? (I mean don't get me started on that, I am really reigning myself back here but) They start off needing ways to calm Hulk down enough to get him back inside and give control back to Bruce, fair enough. But then like... He winds up not letting go of Bruce's body even though he isn't enraged anyway? And suddenly he's emotional enough and smart enough to take- what was it a plane? And seperate himself off from everyone and look all solemnly at Natasha before he does it or something?

Obviously my memory of it isn't great, honestly I stopped paying attention after Natasha's "I'm a monster- not because I was raised in a heartless environment full of violence and raised to literally kill people, that bit's whatever- but because they took away my fertility and now I can't have babies." speech. And that's the last MCU film I watched. I didn't want anything to do with them after seeing what Joss Whedon did with the characters and the overarching plotline and... Everything. x') So I might have gotten some of the hulk stuff wrong.

(I did watch Deadpool though, that I enjoyed~)

4. If you had to create any new character, what occupation would they have?

Ooo good question.

I think something proactive, where they could seek other characters out, but.. I'd kinda like a bad guy~ Someone who lies so much for their job, they have a dual personality to work with. They can be your smiling friendly neighbour, wishing you well on your holiday, then turn around and grit his teeth because this poses a major problem for his mission, and he can't lose his target, so now he has to follow, but he can't do that as your happy neighbour, no, you know he isn't going on holiday, certainly not today, not on your flight, not to the same ski lodge you're going to. No, he has to make a new cover- maybe say his neice phoned him with a family emergency and he'll be leaving to go be with her a while. Then shed this identity, find out where his target is going, quickly pose as some other tourist who blends into the background and get to the lodge first, all the while planning out some plausible skiing accident he can set up.

Wow that got more detailed than I expected x'D I think I just reinvented hitman, whoops.

5. Favourite sport?

[Image ID: Kiki from Kiki’s Delivery Service, laughing hysterically.]

My biggest concern when I'm on my feet is not falling over so, obviously sports aren't really my deal. x')

I used to swim a lot when I was a kid, I loved that, but, don't do it now.

And I'm not really into watching sports either tbh. Most of it seems over-hyped. Most football teams (real football, it is not soccer. The hint is in actual football, the ball, is hit, with your feet. Picking it up and running with it and then sometimes kicking it does not qualify as football, come on USA. Your thing is closer to Rugby than Football.)

Anyway most teams aren't much better or worse than any other if you actually watch objectively, which makes it look like they both suck because they're too well matched to score goals more than once in a blue moon.

Rugby I don't really understand the appeal of either. Scrums are weird and it wouldn't be entirely bizarre to see a guy walking away from the game with blood down his face and an ear in his hand. You'd almost expect him to stick the ear on ice and be back in a few minutes with his bandages on.

Really the only sports than interest me are the gymnastic types. Ice skating is good for a while but it can start getting dull if you don't have people willing to break the mould a bit. (Which is why I absolutely love the free skate bit. Where they aren't being scored and they just do whatever the hell they want, omg I live for that)

Floor routines are awesome, the pommel horse and rings are usually a little samey for me but the one with those two bars at different heights, that's fun to watch~ there's a little more variety there.

(And I don't wanna hear anyone in the replies saying these aren't sports, every example there including figure skating is a separate event in the Olympics, so. There.)

6. What’s your dream car?

I don’t really have one. At this point in my life I don’t actually have the option to learn to drive so I haven’t really thought about it. My only criteria is, it has to have a nice face. x)

Since I was tiny I have always seen cars as faces. The headlights would be eyes, and usually the number plate would be the mouth, but some cars have other stuff like a grill that might be the mouth instead. So like...

This would be a grumpy car with a pig-like nose and frown.. Actually those look like jowels either side of the mouth part. It looks kind of like a bulldog. X’)

And this would be a happy car. That black part around the number plate it wide and smile-shaped, and the headlights- rounded on top and straighter on the bottom, like the little creases we get when we scrunch up our eyes laughing~

This car looks like someone just said something really stupid to it, and it is not impressed, and lets the silence hang not knowing what to say.

Happy car

Terminator car

Happy car but in a mean way.. Like it’s on its way to cause mayhem or poking fun at someone. You get the general idea -w-

7. A movie that you think should have a sequel?

Hmm... this is a toughie.

8. A movie sequel that you think should be deleted from existence?

I don’t remember which number it was or even the title, but the Shrek sequel where Shrek like, hates having kids so much he makes a deal to change time? And Fiona winds up as like a vicious warrior leader because no-one ever saved her from the tower, and rumplestiltskin is in it? What even was that...

9. Design your dream outfit using this game ?

I wouldn’t say this really is my dream outfit, but from the options on offer~

(also discounting the enormous hair bun >w>;)

10. Favourite fairytale?

I’m not sure if this actually counts as a fairytale, but I love the story of the jolly roger. That classic skull and crossbones flag has a story behind it that a lot of people don’t know.

In a nutshell, a man (i guess a pirate) develops an intense crush on a young woman, who is about to get married. But just before her wedding, she dies. She is buried, but the man doesn’t take death for an answer. He digs her up and has sex with her body. When he’s done, a disembodied voice speaks to him, telling him that he has basically impregnated this corpse, and to come back in nine months.

For some reason, he does. He digs up the woman again. And sat below her pelvis is a small skull and two bones. The disembodied voice tells him to take these bones with him on his ventures, and they will bring him luck.

It’s bizarre, and kinda gross, and.. I dunno if being rewarded for sexually desicrating a corpse is the best moral? x’) But I was amazed when I heard this story, because I’d had no idea there was this whole tale behind the flag~ and I still love that it exists~

11. Create an avatar of your favourite muse using this creator? ?

First, it’s so cruel to ask me to pick my favourite child how dare you >w> haha

I went with Chester though because he’s the one I’m usually most connected to.

I can’t think of anyone I want to tag right now (at least not anyone who hasn’t probably done this already), but I’ll put the new 11 questions for anyone who does feel like doing this~ :) __

1. What’s one thread/plot you really want to do that you haven’t had chance to yet?

2. What is the reason for, or meaning behind, your blog icon?

3. Do you have any pets? Tell us a bit about them!

4. What is one thing you would never want to change about your appearance?

5. There is an ultra secret spy group, and you’ve just uncovered their existence. Now they say that you must either work for them, or they’ll find a permanent way to keep you quiet. What kind of work would you offer to do for them?

6. If you met your muse in real life, how do you think the two of you would get along? (multi-muse blogs, pick one of your muses at random.)

7. You have been given a huge budget to remake one film in your own vision. You can change anything, add anything, choose the cast, you have no limits. What would you do?

8. What is one skill you wish you could automatically master?

9. A genie offers you a deal. An unlimited lifelong supply of one food of your choice... But, you have to sacrifice your ability to chew. Does any food still tempt you?

10. What do you think is the funniest animal?

11. Share one memory you have that makes you happy to think about~

[theprocrastinatingalien]

5 Actors who should be cast in the MCU (and who as!)

This isn't the first time I've done this... but these are brand new suggestions! Five actors I think should be cast in the Marvel Cinematic Universe... and who as!

KIERNAN SHIPKA as Gwen Stacy

Okay, so I just finished watching the first batch of CHILLING ADVENTURES OF SABRINA, and I started pondering what else she could do.  Well, obviously, lots.  Shipka is a very good actress, I was already aware of her from MAD MEN, but I mean for the process of this blog.   It came to me that she's the right age with mix with the Spider-Man cast... so why not cast her as Gwen Stacy?  It works for me. Gwen has been played by Bryce Dallas Howard in SPIDER-MAN 3, and by Emma Stone in THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN movies.

I think Shipka would work well with Tom Holland, the Peter Parker in the MCU. She's also got the ability to spin off to Spider-Gwen should they wish to try that.

MARK STRONG as Professor X

So we know this... The X-MEN are coming to MCU.  Disney buying out 20th Century Fox means this... but how long it will take is unknown.  Also what's unknown is how.  Realistically, we have to assume a complete reboot, as they did with SPIDER-MAN.  So we can forget James McAvoy as Charles Xavier, but let's be honest, considering the timeline of the established X-franchise, it should be Patrick Stewart's version that gets to mix with the likes Doctor Strange and Black Panther. But forget Stewart too (a shame as Stewart was perfect casting).

For ages, I have been suggesting Mark Strong as a bridge between McAvoy and Stewart within the franchise, but now I'm simply suggesting him as new casting outright.  Strong is brilliant, and whilst he keeps mixing with the DC side of comics, he has yet to hit the MCU.  Get that bald man a wheelchair.

JEFFREY WRIGHT as Beast

Sticking with the X-MEN theme, I thought I'd suggest this one... Jeffrey Wright as Dr Hank McCoy!  I really like this one.  I think Wright is perfect.  I thought this whilst watching the most recent season of WESTWORLD.  Wright has the right intelligent style to him, similar to Kelsey Grammer (X-MEN: THE LAST STAND) in some respects.  Nicholas Hoult is decent in the younger cast version, but Wright fits how I see the character from the comics and animated series.  

Jeffrey Wright with Hulk-style mo-cap works for me I think.

SAM CLAFLIN as Human Torch

Okay, okay, so I did say these were all new suggestions, and I do know that I've already suggested it, but I really like this as an option.   So far, both previous actors to take on the role of Johnny Storm have ended up in the MCU anyway (Chris Evans and Michael B Jordan) so now Disney have bought 20th Century Fox, the MCU can get on and cast their own Human Torch.

Personally, I think Claflin is the man for the job.  He's a good actor, and showed his fun athletic side in THE HUNGER GAMES.

PATRICK WILSON as Namor

Okay, so I've previously suggest Wilson as a potential Mr Fantastic... and I stick by that casting!  However, I recently saw AQUAMAN, and saw Wilson in action.  Okay, obviously NAMOR would be another underwater-action epic, so this casting may not be that inspired, but Wilson played the bad guy in that film, and could easily switch to being the good guy, and main star.  He was due to appear in ANT-MAN initially (as Paxton, a role that went to Bobby Cannavale) so he's on their radar!

Now, I do have alternatives to this option (should Marvel wish to cast him as Reed Richards, as per my original suggestion).  For a younger take, what about Zac Efron? I used to dismiss him, but have grown to like him a lot more in the last few years. I could accept Efron as Namor - but for now, I'm going with Wilson.  Oh... I suggest remembered that Aidan Turner existed....

but finally... a bonus suggestion!

ISAIAH MUSTAFA as Blade

I know Isaiah Mustafa from two things.  Firstly, the Old Spice adverts.  Secondly, he plays Luke from SHADOWHUNTERS. He plays a werewolf in that.  On top of that, he'll be playing adult Mike in IT CHAPTER 2.  I came up with Mustafa when I was trying to think of someone to play Blade... ignoring Wesley Snipes, and every other black actor that has appeared in the MCU already (I would have loved Idris Elba in the role).  Of the five here, this one I'm less sure about, but it could work. So what do you guys think?  Let me know in the comments!  I've got more suggestions coming your way! 

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

The Problem with the Avengers

 I’ve been reading a lot of Avengers comics recently scattered throughout their history and whilst they often have enough superhero action to kill some time, rarely have I ever found myself that engaged by the stories. In truth I’ve felt that way about virtually every Avengers story I’ve ever read.

In contrast whenever my reading lists took me to a random X-Men or Fantastic Four comic book I found they made for simply better reading.

This got me thinking about how traditionally and even now with the enhanced status the Avengers have in the comic series still seems to generate less enthusiasm than a lot of it’s competition with the really major superhero teams out there.

I think the fundamental problem is that, unlike those other teams, the Avengers is sorely lacking in identity.

I define the major Marvel/DC superhero teams as the ones that have been around near consistently for at least 30ish years and have have bled into multiple forms of other mass media.

So we’re talking the Fantastic 4, the Justice League (regardless of whether it’s called the Super Friends, the JLA, etc), the X-Men (and it’s associated spin-offs, e.g. X-Force, X-Factor, New Mutants) and the Titans/Teen Titans and the Avengers.

Unlike the Avengers, each of those teams has one or more simple ideas and hooks that have, more often than not, defined them and given them a basic but concrete premise to fall back on that the audience can easily connect to.

The Justice League are the All-stars of the DC universe, the team with the truly iconic characters in it’s line up and/or the guys who are at least mainstays of the DC universe in some fashion and well known to comic book readers. They are also at times allegorical to Greco-Roman Gods, e.g. Superman = Zeus, Batman = Hades, Green Lantern = Apollo, etc.

The X-Men are allegories for persecuted minorities and those who face bigotry in some fashion, as well as at times being allegories for adolescence.

The Fantastic Four are a nuclear family of scientists and explorers.

The Teen Titans are the junior heroes, the next generation, a junior Justice League if you will and more often than not the sidekicks to the older iconic heroes.

The Titans are the above but all grown up, independent, a non-nuclear family and in essence the next generation on the cusp of becoming the what their mentors were.

Now the Avengers at face value also have an easily understood hook too. They’re Earth’s Mightiest Heroes right? They, like the Justice League, are the All-stars of the Marvel universe right? Sometimes they’re talked of as being loosely equivalents to the Knights of the Roundtable.

The problem is that in practice...this is mostly lip-service.

For sure IN-UNIVERSE most people look up to the Avengers or hold them in similar esteem that the DC citizens hold the Justice League.

But as far as the real life audience is concerned for most of the Avengers history they really weren’t the All-stars of the Marvel universe and that comparison to Arthurian legend is really more talked about outside the comics more than it ever was genuine text or subtext in the pages themselves.

Lets put the Avengers into historical context. When the team debuted in 1963, consisting of Thor, Iron Man, Hulk, Ant-Man and the Wasp, all of those characters were less than 2 years old.

And its a matter of historical record that they were neither the highest selling nor the most popular superhero books Marvel was putting out, Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four were.

Furthermore the Hulk’s solo title had earlier that year been cancelled and whilst the other Avengers were continuing to regularly appear every month it was in anthology titles where they were simply the main, but not solo, stars. Those titles weren’t even NAMED after those heroes. You had Tales of Suspense for Iron Man, Journey into Mystery for Thor and Tales to Astonish for Ant-Man and Wasp.

Were these guys REALLY Marvel’s mightiest heroes?*

No they really weren’t.

To be frank it seems more like Stan Lee et al were trying to make bank off of the innate appeal of crossing characters over and doing so by grouping together the less successful and less popular characters.

You could make a similar argument for the Justice League of course, except when they debuted most of their members had been around considerably longer and they had Wonder Woman as a mainstay with Superman and Batman at times dropping in too, their presence only increasing across the decades. Nowdays many fans feel its just not the Justice League without the Trinity of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman.

Back to the Avengers, these characters were the revered all-stars of Marvel in name only, with the Hulk even leaving shortly afterwards, replaced by the probably more famous Captain America...who also didn’t have his own book at the time. Cap actually didn’t regularly appear in any title until around a year after his Avengers debut when he began starring alongside Iron Man.

Cap might’ve been a long established hero but even he wasn’t high profile enough to get his OWN solo-series. In fact when he finally did what really happened was he became the solo star of Tales of Suspense (renamed to Captain America) and IRON MAN got his first true solo-series**

To make the matter clearer when the Avengers went through their first major shakeup (less than TWO YEARS after the series began) the cast consisted of Cap (who was still sharing with Iron Man at this point), Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver.

The Avengers had now been reduced to one character who shared a title with another one and three former villains who’d NEVER had solo-stories before, who weren’t even appearing regularly anywhere outside of the Avengers title.

Creatively this wasn’t all that bad. After all one of the pitfalls of team books like Avengers or Justice League is that often the series is constrained by events happening in the characters’ solo books or the other way around. Like the, F4 Cap’s kooky quartet could grow and develop in the Avengers and the only place you could see that potential growth was IN the Avengers comic itself; Johnny and Ben’s bland and bad solo yarns in Strange Tales notwithstanding.

However Cap kooky quartet was yet more evidence of how the ‘Earth’s Mightiest Heroes’ was a cool slogan for the team and nothing more. They were a million miles away from being the Marvel All-stars they were treated or promoted as.

They were just ANOTHER Marvel team, more or less a home for miscellaneous Marvel heroes who were:

a)      Relatively Earthbound

b)      Not overly weird like Dr Strange

c)       Flashier than dude’s without costumes like Nick Fury

d)      Not already on teams

e)      Not independently popular/interesting like Spider-Man

 After all there is a reason so much of Iron Man and Cap’s histories are wrapped up with the Avengers titles and why most adaptations of the characters work in wider Marvel Universe elements. Its because those characters supporting casts and rogue galleries were not strong enough on their own to support their solo titles most of the time, so they essentially became Avengers satellite books.

 This miscellaneous aspect to the Avengers though gave rise to another interpretation of the team, that in fact part and parcel of the point of them was that ANY Marvel hero could join their ranks. In essence that the Avengers could be a grand crossroads of the Marvel universe where any and all characters could pop up.

 Its a nice sentiment but holds little water when you consider how the Avengers in-universe were typically treated as the premiere superhero team and how in practice many characters remained consistently out of their ranks. Even if we do swallow this line of thinking that simply means that the Avengers in being a team where anyone can join simply has no identity at all.

 The X-Men during Claremont’s iconic run had a similar sort of idea of constantly changing up the roster except that book had the fundamental mutant metaphor to hold the shifting characters together no matter what.

 When your team identity is that the identity can be anything your team hasn’t GOT an identity.

 And this problem with the Avengers (a lack of identity wrapped around a false claim of being the Marvel All-star line up) went on and on and on for DECADES!

 It got to the point where the X-Men, who in the Silver age FAILED compared to the Avengers, made good on their second chance and gradually grew in popularity until they clearly eclipsed every other Marvel team and by the 1990s eclipsed every other superhero team and book on the stands, exempting at times Spider-Man or Batman. In that decade anything with an X would sell whilst anything with an Avengers A was B-grade at best.

 Whilst the Avengers claimed to be Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and Marvels A-list heroes, Spider-Man and the X-Men actually WERE.

 In 2004 when Bendis created the New Avengers with the explicit intention of re-orientating the team to finally truly be the Marvel A-list squad it had always claimed to be it had 2 big problems.

 The first was that after 40 years and 500 issues the perception of the Avengers within the comic book community had become pretty entrenched. The second was that Bendis only slightly made good on this promise of reinvention.

 By which I mean he added Spider-Man and Wolverine (basically the Superman and Batman of Marvel as far as their popularity went) to the Avengers as mainstays and then kept Iron Man, Cap and added in B-listers Luke Cage and Jessica Drew and not even a B-lister the Sentry.

 To be clear I am not trying to insult Luke or Jessica but most people in 2004 didn’t know who they were and most who did didn’t care about him. they were added to raise their profile which is the exact opposite of what the book was claiming to do.

 Even now with both characters holding more prestige than they did back then, if you were making a truly All-star Marvel superhero team Luke Cage and Jessica Drew probably wouldn’t be on the squad considering neither has a movie.

 Whilst it’s true Bendis made New Avengers an unqualified success if you or I wrote a comic book with the two biggest Marvel characters in it hot on the heels of beloved and acclaimed movie appearances for both (which were sequels no less) of course it will sell like hot cakes.

 But that sales success has absolutely not lasted.

 Because again, the Avengers have no true identity as a superhero team, not even with the raised profile of the more traditional Avengers members afforded by their film appearances. At this point the failure of Iron Man’s popularity in wider pop culture to translate into much of an increase in comic sales is a bad joke. The fact is the comic book reading community still regards Iron Man as of lesser status than someone like Batman or Spider-Man or Wolverine and similarly the Avengers status as a team is still being hurt by the decades during which they were all sizzle and little steak.

 Ironically this effect has been mitigated in adaptations. In cartoons (like Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes) a fresh modern take on the Marvel universe was presented wherein the Avengers characters were among the first  and seemingly only heroes to inhabit that world (as far as the audience initially believed) essentially rendering them Earth’s Mightiest Heroes by default and free of the F4 or Spider-Man as a measuring stick could truly come off as All-stars. It also helped that the team membership was more consistent and a greater focus was placed upon their interpersonal relationships with one another, rendering them either a family or a kind of private little community of superheroes. Plus the show was as much an adaptation of the wider Marvel universe as it was Avengers stories, meaning often they could give focus episodes over to individual members to flesh them out.

 To n extent the same thing happened in the MCU although because the MUC established solo movies for most of the Avengers first it in essence raised the prestige of each character thus justifying their claim to the film Avengers being all-star players. Plus there was a certain glamour and energy afforded the first film from being a never before done experiment in crossing over so many properties, this then fuelling consequent movies like Infinity War.

 What’s ironic about all this is that the false interpretation of the Avengers being the Knights of the Roundtable is actually a way more fertile concept to build the Avengers team identity around and a more compelling hook to sell to the wider audience.

 You could retain the idea that, in-universe, they are the Marvel All-star line up, but in the true substance of the series loosely build the stories and characters more around moderinzed takes upon Arthurian legend and ideals of heroism. Much as the Justice League have at times served as loose allegories for the Greco-Roman Pantheon.

If you look at the original team of Avengers, plus Captain America and Hawkeye, they already fit into loose concepts of Medieval era knights anyway.

Cap is a soldier, in other words a modern day knight, who is the absolute ideal warrior (Lancelot) complete with a form of chainmail armour and a weapon distinctly from Ye Olden Days.

Iron Man has frequently been referred to as a modern day knight in shining armour because he literally wears armour.

Thor is a Viking whom, I’m not sure were exactly around during when Arthurian legend is supposed to happen but like...close enough.

Hulk is perhaps equivalent to a troll, a creature from Medieval fairy tales.

Hawkeye is of course an archer and a clear Robin Hood allegory (Robin Hood is also Medieval).

And you could say Ant-Man and Wasp are akin to pixies. And even if you think not Hank when Giant Man is obviously a fairy tale giant.

I’m not saying every character needs to be as exact as those, but it’s just something for the team to concretely hang their hat on rather than continuing to insist they are the best Marvel characters all in one team when they usually don’t even have Marvel’s most popular character with them!

[aspiestvmusings]

FFH vs MCU: PARALLELS

PARALLELS & CALLBACKS & OTHER LITTLE THINGS: FFH & MCU: 

WARNING...SUPER LONG TEXT POST! THAT INCLUDES JUST A TINY AMOUNT OF THE MANY MANY PARALLELS, CALLBACKS... etc 

Peter’s secret superhero identity (Spider-Man) revealed (not by him/his choice) in the end of FFH &  Tony’s secret superhero identity (Iron Man) revealed by him/by his choice in the end of IM1

Peter’s/The movies last words/line in FFH being “What the F*--” as the screen goes to black (as he sees the “news” on screen) & Aunt May’s/The movies last words in HC being “What the FU--” as the screen goes to black (when she sees Peter in his Spidey costume). 

The “BLIP” video edit “in memoriam” broadcast ending with comment /by Betty, i think) that it’s time to move on...  seems to hint at Endgame lines “Some people move on.../You gotta move on...” by Steve 

AC/DC’s “Back in Black” - the song/band that plays during some iconic Tony/Iron Man moments in past film(s) & the song that plays during the Happy/Peter airplane above the tulip field scene as Peter is about to make himself a new suit. Even though Peter thinks it’s Led Zeppelin #ILoveLedZeppelin as he hears the song starting ;) 

Tony’s glasses: “To/For the next/new Tony Stark” - Tony’s special glasses now belong to Peter. And they have a feature that had previously not been revealed - they include an AI named E.D.I.T.H (Even Dead Im The Hero”, cause Tony loved his acronyms) 

Tony & acronyms: from J.A.R.V.I.S. to B.A.R.F. to E.D.I.T.H. in “Far From Home” 

Tony wanting to build a “suit of armour” around the world/Earth, but being denied in past Avengers films & then literally building/creating a suit of armour around the people he cares about - Rhodey’s suit, Pepper’s suit, Peter’s suit + re-making CA’s shield by/in Endgame. And as revealed in FFH he also did build a suit of armour around the planet - he has tech & satellites that is weaponized & ready to protect the planet from outside (or inside) threats. He wanted to be prepared for (another) Thanos-level threat & he wanted to leave behind a defence system... 

Peter using Stark tech to build a new suit in FFH (and Happy watching him & seeing so much Tony in him - in how he uses the tech and all that...) and Tony building his Iron Man suit in IM1 - the holographic tech used - visual parallels PS. Tom Holland has said that he re-watched RDJ’s scene rom first IM in prep for filming his scene & tried to mimic the movements & all...the parallels & similarity are on purpose

Peter/Happy in FFH  vs Tony/Happy in MCU - friendship and being supportive, while providing transportation & backup to the superhero, also...

Peter doubting in himself & in his leader abilities (bearing the heavy burden of being the Earth’s mightiest hero & protector) in FFH...the same way Tony struggled with becoming/being the Earth’s protector 

Peter having PTSD/anxiety (after the events of the BLIP/SNAPS & his mentor’s, Tony's death) & being pressured by the public... and not being able to take the pressure... escaping the “press conference” at aunt May’s charity event     in FFH & Tony having PTSD/anxiety (after the events on NY battle & the vision of the future & finding out that there are great threats lurking in the universe..) and being pressured by the public...and not being able to take the pressure... escaping the diner/table in IM3, when kids come to him...the hero..for  an autograph. 

Peter making mistakes  on the way.. when learning to be the superhero the world needs (trusting Mysterio, his new friend & giving over the powerful tech to him) in FFH & Tony making mistakes on the way in all the MCU films.  

Peter being betrayed by someone he trusted (his new “friend” Quentin Beck aka Mysterio) in FFH & Tony being betrayed by his old friend & business partner, Obadiah Stane in IM1. 

Peter not answering phone calls from important people - sending “Fury” to voicemail (ghosting Nick Fury) in FFH & Tony not liking answering the phone/talking to important people on the phone - putting them on hold (cause he just likes to put people on the hold) - example: Coulson in A1

The murals & street art in Europe as Peter walks by a wall art with flowers & candles in front of it dedicated to Iron Man/Tony Stark in FFH & the shadows of the six people who died mimicking  “wall art” in Iron Man 3 being a visual parallel to that scene with candles (and flowers) in front of it..to remember those who are gone...but not forgotten.

Peter using the Tower Bridge sign as shield & that tech (DIY project made of car engine & drone bits...) as the hammer on the “Bridge fight scene” in FFH as a visual parallel to Steve holding his shield & Thor’s hammer during the final battle in Endgame.

All three MCU main heroes - Tony (his arc reactor), Thor (his hammer) & Steve (his shield) were represented & could be visually seen during that bridge scene... as Peter prepares to fight the bad guy...

Peter going through many “dimensions”  during the Berlin    “safe house” illusion scene in FFH being visually similar to Dr. Strange & other MCU films visuals of other dimensions/universes - the mirror dimension, the many other dimensions seen... Infinite illusions scene.... 

Peter not having his Spidey-sense (Peter tingle) - one of his superhero abilities not working in FFH... for a while (because of his emotional state - grieving his mentor) & Bruce not having access to Hulk  - his ability to turn into Hulk/go green not working during Avengers 3 (because of his emotional state - after the events of past films)

Peter ending up in Netherlands/Holland (PS. while many people use Holland to talk about all of Netherlands, Holland actually refers to certain parts...two provinces that together “form” & are called Holland)... because Peter/Spiderman is portrayed by Tom Holland. #funfacts

Percentages - MJ was only 67/76% certain that Peter is Spider-Man in FFH & Tony saying Pepper should give herself 12% of the credit for the Stark Tower & Pepper saying she was having 12% of a moment” in A1. 

Tony saying “You reached the Live Model Decoy of Tony Stark” when agent Coulson gets through to him on the phone in A1 & Nick Fury basically using “live model decoys” for himself & Maria Hill in FFH. 

Mysterio and his illusions - making others see things that aren’t: Peter seeing dying Quentin Beck on the ground at the Tower Bridge, when the real Quentin is actually standing next to him, ready to shoot him, but peter sensing it & stopping him in FFH & Loki & his illusions - making others see things in a twisted way: agent Coulson seeing Loki in front of him, when he approaches with the new blaster weapon, when Loki is actually behind him & he doesn’t see the attack coming in A1. 

“Appearances can be deceiving” was meant to hint at both Mysterio not being who he is & also Fury & Hill being not who they seem... That they’re actually skrulls (working for Fury)

Happy’s surfboard mention/clue to Fury... when he calls him to warn about Mysterio’s deception is a reference to the skrull first looks in Captain Marvel... when they arrive. They first take the form of a group of surfers...cause these are the first people they see on the beach... 

The spiders crawling on Zombie IM in the illusion created by Mysterio in that FFH scene are according to someone who paid better attention & knows spider species better than me... apparently Black Widow spiders... IF so then that is a visual reference to BOTH characters who sacrificed themselves...all in one scene.

ETA: Mysterio in FFH was not who he seemed to be to the public & he wasn’t a man...but a Team... kinda... & The Mandarin in IM3 was not who he seemed to be to the public & he wasn’t a man...but a Team...kinda. Quentin Beck pretended to be Mysterio (a caped superhero) in FFH ... using movie magic & mo-cap suits  and visual tricks & Trevor Slattery pretended to be The Mandarin in IM3.. he was a paid actor, playing the role of the bad guy, The Mandarin. 

ETA: Peter &  MJ/Michelle in FFH vs Tony & Pepper in MCU films...there are both story/plot & visual parallels. Both ladies are taller (basically) than their partner (both Tony & Peter are...kinda...tiny/short). And both knew the man before the hero in the suit. And both were (at least at first)not a fan of the superhero “flying” and all (both Pepper & MJ’s reaction to Tony & Peter taking them to “fly” was pretty much the same...they were not fans of it #NeverDoThatAgain  #omgICantTakeThisAnymore 

ETA: all the drones (dummy suits built by Ivan) in Iron Man 2 VS all the drones used to create the illusions in FFH

Fire “monster” (Elemental: Fire) being one of the “bad guys” in FFH (Spidey fighting fire) & Fire “monster” (the “Extremis”  that turns the host bodies into hot fire/fire hot) being one of the “bad guys tools” in IM3 (Tony fighting Extremis)

Tony “creating” his ..and Peter’s enemies in many/almost all Iron Man/MCU films & FFH: Tony's dad vs Vanko’s das and Tony vs Vanko in IM2, Tony vs Killian & Maya in IM3, Tony/Avengers vs ULTRON in A2 (Wanda + Pietro vs Tony/Avengers in A2), Tony vs Charlie Spencer’s mom in CA. CW) The Vulture vs Peter in SM1: HC...and now Mysterio/Beck vs “new Tony Stark” aka Peter in FFH. 

Peter being all alone (with just one ally/friend - Happy)...and creating a suit for himself...from scratch (using tech) on the plane in Holland in FFH & Tony being all alone (with just one ally/friend)...and creating a suit for himself...from scratch... from a box of scraps...in the cave in IM1.

Not to mention all the little details, callback, parallels & similarities..connected to the (original) comics, to past/other Spider-Man films - JJJ as the “news” man, the multi-verse menton, every single Spidey costume from MCU making their appearance again, multiple Spideys all in one scene, LMD (Live Model Decoys)...etc etc...

[maurtheblack]

Dear Creator letter for MCU Spaceships

Under the cut.

Thank you for writing for me! My requests are in loose groups - due to this a couple of them appear more than once. Any prompts/suggestions from either group or a combination are fine for those. 

Group 1 - Valkyrie ships.

Valkyrie’s old. Old as balls. She’s been on Sakaar where time runs strangely, sure, but it’s still been a long time for her. Judging by the Sif stuff in the first movie, and Thor mentioning wanting to be a Valkyrie, she’s practically a cryptid to the Asgardians. How does this come out in her interactions with other Asgardians? How much have Asgardians customs changed since her time? Does she want to be an Asgardian again, and form relationships - platonic and romantic and familial - with them, or does she want to just bounce and set up on Earth as a bounty hunter and get an Earth girlfriend? Going back into earlier in the canon, did Carol ever meet her in her space travels, before or after becoming Captain Marvel? Going AU, what if Valkyrie landed on Jane’s research instead of Thor? We don’t have a canon age for Frigga, so it’s very possible they knew each other back in the day. Perhaps Frigga was once a valkyrie, or Valkyrie was Frigga’s favoured knight once upon a time. I’d love worldbuilding around the valkyries and their place in Asgardian society and history and myth.How does Valkyrie feel about the Asgard she knew being forever lost? Instead of coming back to Asgard, Asgard has come to her, homeless space vagabonds. She’s got to have a lot of feelings about that. She, Loki and Thor agreed to bring about Ragnarok - how do they feel about that? Did they fail or succeed? How does the galaxy at large respond to the fall of Asgard - and are its princes targets for Asgard’s enemies and victims? What are the Jotun up to right now, for instance?

Group 2 - Carol ships.

Carol has a lot of identity stuff going on, and I’d love to see how she’s dealing with that, how she’s reconciling who she was with who she was after that and who she is now. Did she have the same habits and quirks and wants as Vers and Carol? Or did she like different things and behave differently? How is that playing out in her interactions with others? Is she lonely, out in space with no one from either of her old lives? This is the first time she’s had a chance to miss Monica and Maria, and know Maria is growing up and Monica growing old without her. Do the Skrulls ever guise themselves as people she knows for a moment’s comfort, or would that be too painful? How does Carol fit in with a Skrull society? How do they handle it when the Skrulls can fit neatly into any society and Carol’s a sore thumb? How does Carol feel about what she did as a Kree - she was lied to, yes, but did she never suspect? How much did she close her eyes to that she realises now were warning signs? How do the Skrulls feel about this? And then there’s her return to Earth - she’s returning to a very different world, and like Valkyrie, she’s got to have a lot of feelings about her absence. How will she interact with Jane, who presumably endured everything that happened on Earth? And for that matter, what IS going on with Jane? She briefly embodied one of the Infinity Stones, same as Carol. Perhaps they’re drawn to each other. Perhaps Jane wants to study Carol. We don’t have much about Mar-Vell, but she’s a super interesting character. I’m not very interested in the period where Carol believes she’s human, but I’d be very interested in an AU where her alienness emerges early on and Carol has to deal. Also an AU where Mar-Vell lives - perhaps she takes empowered Carol and goes on the lam, or perhaps they’re both captured. 

Group 3 - Nebula Ships

Nebula’s fantastic. I love how strange she is. I wonder how strange she’d be to her own people, and how much like them she is? Was she originally blue, as Gamora was green - or not? Did she ever have hair, and does she miss it? Did she always have a healing factor, and Thanos worked with that? Are all her people a little awkward and abrupt by human standards? The dynamic between Gamora and Nebula is really interesting, and the differences and similarities in how they reacted to Thanos’ raising. One of my favourite moments in GotG is when, after it seems they’d been setting up a conflict between Loyal Daughter and Rebel Daughter, Nebula reveals she is only waiting for her chance to turn on Thanos. Did Gamora and Nebula know that about each other? Did they ever keep each other’s secrets? I’d really like to see what a happy ending for those two crazy kids would look like, or in the angstier vein, something about their power struggles when they served Thanos. Nebula and Jane - like all the Jane ships here, Jane will be interested in space, and I think Nebula would find it unusual, that Jane is interested in her not because of the quality of being Thanos’ daughter, but for the very ordinary (to her) quality of being a space adventurer. And Jane is so civilian - she’s not a physical fighter at all. (yet!) Nebula might be fascinated by a body so undesigned. Thor and Nebula haven’t interacted much, but I think Nebula’s vague similarities to Loki could attract Thor’s interest, and Nebula could be interested by someone who grew up with so little trauma and pain, and was damaged so badly by it. As for Nebula and Rocket, they have SO much in common. If you’re not into the hot raccoon action I’d be just as into them becoming besties and forming an alliance of moral expediency against the Guardians.

Group 4 - Frigga ships

I wanted way more of Frigga. We know so little about her! How long have she and Odin been married? Canonically, there’s no indication she’s actually Hela’s mother, which is interesting. (I am not really into cross-generational incest so I hope it’s okay to write them as not mother and daughter - if you only matched on this ship and you only like it as an incest ship I can cope but would prefer no explicit porn and no underage.) So is Frigga a second wife, or did Odin maintain a harem, or cheat, or did Hela leap from his brain like Athena? Is she as old as Odin? For Hela and Valkyrie, we can go back into the past and have them know each other; perhaps there was a queen-favoured warrior dynamic, or perhaps pre-marriage Frigga was a Valkyrie and fought under Hela’s command. (After all, with Hela’s banishment it would be natural for Odin to seek a wife for more children... and Frigga would, with either pairing, have lost her love. For Frigga/Jane, I just think they’d be cute together once they got over the weirdness of stealing your son’s girl. Or perhaps by Asgardian customs the ladies of the family all entertain each other while the menfolk are off doing terrible acts of war.

Group 5 - Fury/Talos

They were just cute and funny, great buddy dynamic.All I really ask is you don’t devalue Talos’ relationship with Soren. Have Skrulls non-monogamous or something, or she gets divine inspiration and joins an exclusive order of celibate warrior-monks that mean she and Talos must regretfully part with love, that’s fine, I’ll be very forgiving of handwaves. Adding her to the ship also totally fine. 

Prompts of things I’d like to see, or just go nuts based on the above comments.

Valkyrie/Thor/Loki: fake relationship. For whatever reason they have to go undercover as an aristocrat and her two husbands/harem boys/whatever.

Valkyrie/Heimdall: Heimdall saw everything in Asgard. He’s the best person to tell her what it was like. And she can tell him what it was like in her day. What sort of Asgard would they like to build?

Valkyrie/Frigga: Maybe Ragnarok wasn’t the first time someone found Valkyrie. Frigga goes to Sakaar looking for something lost, and while negotiating the Grandmaster’s erratic court, she finds a valkyrie.

Valkyrie/Jane: due to Reality Stone nonsense or a Bifrost mishap, Jane lands on Sakaar and is collected by Valkyrie. The Grandmaster doesn’t know exactly what’s going on with her, but she’s clearly possessed of massive power, so it’s gladiatorial training for her. Valkyrie has to teach her some self-preservation skills - perhaps it’ll reflect badly on her if Jane gets stomped first fight - and Jane needs to get control over this cosmic power if she’s to have any hope of long term survival and returning home. And the Dark Elves are still looking for her...

Valkyrie/Carol: Sparring. Carol is used to sparring with Yonn-Rogg, who always tells her to rein in her power, show better control, don’t get carried away. Valkyrie, on the other hand, spars with the Hulk. Valkyrie showing Carol it’s all right to let loose, and that she can take anything Carol’s got.

Carol/Jane: I would love some classic identity porn with Carol, Jane and Mighty Thor. Perhaps Carol is besotted with this gorgeous warrior and irritated by Dr Foster’s constant requests to interview and analyse her. Perhaps she resents this new Thor for taking on her friend’s role, but has a soft spot for that beautiful scientist. Perhaps she thinks they’re both super hot and is trying really hard to orchestrate a threesome. (Bedroom farce based on this would be amazing.) Or maybe she hates them both until events, etc.

Carol/Soren/Talos: Carol and Soren and Talos are posing as a married couple. Keyword: couple. Carol is never sure who’s holding hands with her and who’s off breaking into secret government offices. Are they both flirting with her, or only one of them? Can end up threesome, or either pairing, but as stated above please do not devalue the Talos/Soren relationship.

Carol/Mar-Vell: Vers is living a perfectly normal Kree warrior life when some lunatic woman kidnaps her and drags her off in a spaceship, telling her wild stories about her *real* past. Mar-Vell has only just managed to escape custody, and after years of mentally wresting the Supreme Intelligence, she’s kind of poorly adjusted. She knows she can’t leave Carol behind when she escapes, though.

Gamora/Loki/Nebula: Thanos sends Gamora (or Nebula) with Loki to subjugate Earth. Gamora (or Nebula) takes the chance to get an Infinity Stone out of Thanos’ hands (or get revenge on Thanos), and either persuades or forces Loki to go on the lam. Nebula (or Gamora) is sent in pursuit, and Loki and Gamora (or Nebula) have to persuade her to join them.

Nebula/Jane:Jane has to go do uhhh urgent science somewhere off planet. Or maybe she’s the first human delegate at an interstellar conference. They’re going to send Gamora as her guide and bodyguard, but due to a hilarious misunderstanding Gamora is in space jail or bodyswapped with Rocket or glued to Drax. Nebula offers to take her place, and somehow no one realises what a terrible idea this is. So off they road trip. Nebula has no idea what “dangerous” is and Jane has no idea that Nebula has no idea what “dangerous” is. So they careen from disaster to disaster, Nebula causes carnage, Jane has a lovely time and has no idea how close to death she is at any given moment.

Gamora/Nebula: between the movies. Gamora wants to find Nebula; sometimes, Nebula wants to be found. Perhaps she just wants Gamora to keep looking.

Nebula/Thor: <em> and this is the map of my heart, the landscape after cruelty which is, of course, a garden, which is. a tenderness, which is a room, a lover saying Hold me tight, it's getting cold</em> Nebula is a person who has done terrible, brutal things, and she’s betrayed her sister more than once. Thor wants to know how she’s living with herself. The answer is badly. Thor decides that maybe they can be siblings to each other, and help each other heal. He eventually decides that dropping the siblings thing is best, what with all the sex they��re having.

Nebula/Rocket: <em>There ain’t nothing like me, but me</em> As morally bankrupt lab experiments, the two of them have a lot in common. Put them in circumstances where they have to feign moral competence, heroism, or being good at  interaction - perhaps their friends are being held prisoner by a rigidly honourable alien race and they have to diplomacy them out? Perhaps they’ve been stranded on a lawless world and are pretending to be Asgardian warriors to diminish the chances of being ganked? They accidentally get custody of a small child and have to set a good example because if they return the child tattooed and with a prison record they’ll probably be executed? Trying to see them work out proper behaviour from first principles could be deeply hilarious, or kinda sad.

Frigga/Hela: Frigga was always meant to be Queen of Asgard. She just thought it would be when Hela took the throne. Frigga and Hela as battle wives, or perhaps Frigga’s a diplomat who Hela courts. Maybe Odin arranges their marriage.

Jane/Frigga: instead of Thor being banished, it’s Frigga. Perhaps she forcibly objects to Odin banishing her son, and he sends her instead. Perhaps she protest some other Odin-y thing. Anyway, Jane finds her instead of Thor, and is just as charmed. Will Frigga prove her worthiness? Does she even want to?

Nick Fury/Talos: Talos would like to be sworn warrior brothers with Fury. There are traditional rituals. Fury is touched and honoured. The rituals turn out to involve sex. Why, what do sworn warrior brothers do on Earth? 

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 15 May 2019

Quick Bits:

Age of X-Man: Next Gen #4 hurtles towards the end as Glob, Armor, and Rockslide attempt to track down Anole before he does something stupid. Everything’s really starting to fall together in these minis as the lie of the world starts to unravel. It’s also interesting how Ed Brisson portrays the cultists fighting back against the “no love” edict as just as deluded and indoctrinated by X-Man’s change of reality.

| Published by Marvel

Aquaman #48 begins Arthur’s quest to recover his past in the first part of “Mother Shark”, with one hell of a twist for an ending cliffhanger. The high level of the quality of art on this series continues as Viktor Bogdanovic and his Greg Capullo-inspired style (with Jonathan Glapion and Daniel Henriques providing additional inks) join Kelly Sue DeConnick, Sunny Gho, and Clayton Cowles.

| Published by DC Comics

Batman #71 is part two of “The Fall and the Fallen” from Tom King, Mikel Janín, Jorge Fornés, Jordie Bellaire, and Clayton Cowles. With the heavy reliance on dream sequences and simulations lately, it certainly makes me wonder who’s gaslighting who, whether anything in the story is real or if King is just playing us. Great art, though.

| Published by DC Comics

Bloodborne #12 concludes “A Song of Crows” from Aleš Kot, Piotr Kowalski, Brad Simpson, and Aditya Bidikar. This arc has been even more surreal than the first, embracing that odd mix of depression and existentialism that seems to permeate the franchise. This is going to take a few more readings to really sink in.

| Published by Titan

Calamity Kate #3 gives us a look into the disastrous relationship between Kate and Sandra. Though the accuracy of events might be a bit nebulous, given some missing time and an appearance that not everything is happening as we see it, this paints Sandra as a particularly resentful, hateful person. Also, another clue in Kate’s rival. Great action art from Corin Howell and Valentina Pinto, with an interestingly designed tentacle monster.

| Published by Dark Horse

Daredevil #5 is the gut punch. As great as everything that Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto, Sunny Gho, and Clayton Cowles have delivered in the first four issues (and seriously it’s some of the best Daredevil since Miller and Mazzucchelli), this one tops it. A reckless, dangerous Daredevil, a hazard to himself and everyone around him, having it dawn on him what he’s been doing. And all of the Catholic guilt, shame, and judgement, not just on himself, but on the revelation that he’s seemingly oblivious that all of his friends have also been in his situation.

| Published by Marvel

Fairlady #2 is another great issue from Brian Schirmer, Claudia Balboni, Marissa Louise, and David Bowman. The blend of fantasy and police procedural is seamless, presenting a completely believable world, building up bits of supporting characters and elaborating on the setting as the story unfolds. Also a great shift into a kind of storybook art style from Balboni and Louise during one of the flashback sequences.

| Published by Image

Guardians of the Galaxy #5 sees the other shoe drop. Donny Cates, Geoff Shaw, David Curiel, and Cory Petit deliver an excellent set-up for the finale of the “Final Gauntlet” here as Hela makes her move and we find out what the game actually was. Also, more hints about Rocket that don’t seem pleasant.

| Published by Marvel

Immortal Hulk #17 goes hard for thriller first before leaning back into horror as Bushwacker stalks Banner through the “abandoned” lab. Very interesting new “rules” that Al Ewing is laying out as what makes up a Hulk keeps consistently changing.

| Published by Marvel

Joe Golem: Occult Detective - The Conjurors #1 picks up with our dead hero being nibbled by fish, and it’s just downhill from there for Molly, Simon Church, and all of existence due to Dr. Cocteau’s meddling. Great art from Peter Bergting and Michelle Madsen.

| Published by Dark Horse

Justice League #24 is the penultimate chapter of “The Sixth Dimension” and amidst the dire situations, heroic sacrifices, and stunning betrayals, there’s a great opening sequence about the little disappointments that Superman feels when he lets someone down. It’s like Catholic guilt amplified immensely, but it raises some interesting questions about how superheroes deal with depression. Or not deal with it, as it were. Great work from Scott Snyder, Jorge Jimenez, Alejandro Sánchez, and Tom Napolitano.

| Published by DC Comics

Little Bird #3 is another incredible instalment in this story, with some interesting revelations about Little Bird and Gabriel, from Darcy Van Poelgeest, Ian Bertram, Matt Hollingsworth, and Aditya Bidikar. The artwork from Bertram and Hollingsworth is mind-bendingly awesome.

| Published by Image

Livewire #6 continues the PSEP arc from Vita Ayala, Kano, and Saida Temofonte as Amanda discovers more about the organization and gets introduced firsthand to the academy bully enforcer. The art from Kano, from the characters through the layouts, is next level.

| Published by Valiant

Naomi #5 explains everything. Mostly. Sure, there are still questions, and there’s likely a huge battle coming for the final issue, but we get a full-fledged explanation as Naomi tells her newly-learned origin story to Annabelle. And it’s brilliant. Wonderful parallels to other tales and a hint at implications for the DC Universe as a whole. Also, drop dead gorgeous artwork. Seriously some of the best ever to grace the comics page. Brian Michael Bendis, David F. Walker, Jamal Campbell, and Wes Abbott provide another excellent issue here. Highly, highly recommended.

| Published by DC Comics / Wonder Comics

Oblivion Song #15 is one hell of a page turner. Robert Kirkman, Lorenzo De Felici, Annalisa Leoni, and Rus Wooton barely give us a chance to breathe in this one as the Faceless Men attack, both those who’ve chosen to stay in Oblivion and the exploration teams jaunting back and forth from Earth. Great tension.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Pearl #9 is another visually stunning issue from Michael Gaydos. Seriously just look at this beauty.

| Published by DC Comics / Jinxworld

Sabrina the Teenage Witch #2 throws even more chaos Sabrina’s way as it seems like everything in Greendale is something supernatural or paranormal or straight out of weird science. Kelly Thompson is delivering some great humour, while the art from Veronica and Andy Fish remains perfect for anything and everything in Archie’s world.

| Published by Archie

Superman #11 swings back around to Zod after Superman unceremoniously left him being beaten by Rogol Zaar as this arm of “The Unity Saga” continues, delving further into the battle consuming Jor-El at the moment, but not really explaining anything. This is chaos, but it looks pretty.

| Published by DC Comics

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder in Hell #3 is worth it just for the glorious artwork from Mateus Santolouco and Marcelo Costa. The monster designs are incredible and the red, surreal glow of the colours just give life to the strange and deadly nature of this hellscape. 

| Published by IDW

Transformers #5 suggests that there’s a whole lot more going on under the surface of Cybertron and the mystery of the death of Brainstorm that we thought. More interesting things going on with Rubble too, as he gets kind of lost while Bumblebee’s off doing other stuff.

| Published by IDW

Uncanny X-Men #18 adds again to the body count as things continue to fall apart. The nihilism, darkness, and depression in this series has really been getting to me these past few issues. With announcements for House of X and Powers of X, this is starting to feel like a “throw the X-Men down a hole before rebooting” type of story. I’m still not sure if I like it, since it’s putting me in a sour mood.

| Published by Marvel

War of the Realms #4 drills down on Freyja’s defence of the Black Bifrost, intent on taking away its use from Malekith. All of the art on this series has been phenomenal, but Russell Dauterman and Matthew Wilson somehow take it up another notch. This is epic.

| Published by Marvel

War of the Realms: Giant-Man #1 kicks off another front in the War as Freyja tasks Ant-Man, Giant-Man, Goliath, and Atlas to infiltrate the Frost Giants’ bastion on Earth and get revenge, from Leah Williams, Marco Castiello, Rachelle Rosenberg, and Joe Sabino. Very nice bits of humour and wonderful artwork.

| Published by Marvel

War of the Realms: Spider-Man & The League of Realms #1 opens up another front as Spider-Man leads the members of the League of Realms into New Heven territory, from Sean Ryan, Nico Leon, Carlos Lopez, and Joe Caramagna. It’s great to see more Ryan-penned Spider-Man, even if he only ever seems to get to write the event tie-ins. He’s got a great handle on Spidey, effortlessly displaying that humour and humanity of the character every time.

| Published by Marvel

War of the Realms: Strikeforce - The War Avengers #1 is the second Strikeforce one-shot elaborating on encounters spinning out of War of the Realms #3. This one focuses on Captain Marvel’s motley crew of Avengers as they try to strike at the heart of Malekith in Britain from Dennis Hallum, Kim Jacinto, Ario Anindito, Java Tartaglia, Felipe Sobreiro, and Joe Sabino. Some nice Deadpool humour and art in what is one of the more bonkers tie-ins.

| Published by Marvel

Other Highlights: Age of X-Man: Marvelous X-Men #4, Amazing Spider-Man #21, American Carnage #7, Battlestar Galactica Classic #4, Bettie Page #5, Black Badge #10, Black Widow #5, Cinema Purgatorio #18, Farmhand #8, Firefly #6, Gideon Falls #13, Go Go Power Rangers #20, High Level #4, Infinity 8 #12, Ironheart #6, James Bond 007 #7, Kaijumax - Season 4 #6, Kick-Ass #14, KISS: The End #2, Last Stop on the Red Line #1, Life & Death of Toyo Harada #3, Low #22, Lucifer #8, Lumberjanes #62, Marvel Action: Spider-Man #4, Morning in America #3, Old Man Quill #5, Orphan Age #2, Planet of the Nerds #2, Port of Earth #10, Princeless - Book 8: Princesses #2, Spider-Man: Life Story #3, Star Wars #66, Star Wars: Age of Rebellion - Lando Calrissian #1, Star Wars: Tie Fighter #2, Teen Titans #30, Xena: Warrior Princess #2

Recommended Collections: Batgirl - Volume 5: Art of the Crime, Bitter Root - Volume 1: Family Business, GI Joe: A Real American Hero - Volume 22, The Horror of Collier County, Immortal Hulk - Volume 3: Hulk in Hell, Jeepers Creepers - Volume 1: Trail of the Beast, Justice League Odyssey - Volume 1: The Ghost Sector, MCMLXXV, Mister Miracle, Outer Darkness - Volume 1, Outpost Zero - Volume 2, RuinWorld: Eye for an Eye, Star Wars: Age of Republic - Heroes, Star Wars: Han Solo - Imperial Cadet, The Whispering Dark

d. emerson eddy wishes there were more hours in the day in order to write about everything.

[battlestar-royco]

Tbf with the Gamora thing, nebula is blue and she’s played by a white actress and drax and thanos are both played by white actors but made to look different colours & their features are altered through cgi so in this case it isn’t *just* Gamora being made different.

Yeah, I’m aware that the Gamora Phenomenon also happens to white actors but the implications are different. White people have ample representation and are also given parts that were originally made for POC, whether they are presented as white or in black/yellow/brownface. Given the existing deficit of rep for POC, the ratio of Gamora Phenomenon (that’s what I’m gonna call it from now on) to non-GP is in favor of white representation. Let’s use the MCU as an example while we’re on the subject. While Thanos and Nebula are two examples of GP, and I’ll throw in the Hulk as well, there’s still Captain Marvel, Captain America, Bucky, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Iron Man, Pepper, Spider Man, Dr. Strange, Thor, Loki, Hela, etc, however many white main characters. And Black Panther did add a bunch of new black characters, which was awesome, but that came out a little under a year ago after ten years of the MCU. Before that we had MJ, Valkyrie, Gamora, and Mantis. The latter two undergo GP. And that’s just in the MCU.

Outside of the MCU, we have GP appearing in the xenomorph in Alien, countless Star Trek and Star Wars characters, Avatar, Predator, and more I can’t think of currently. Meanwhile if I were to name white-led franchises and films without any GP, the answer to this ask would be 100 pages long. You see my issue? My point isn’t that this ONLY happens to POC, because that’s obviously not true. It’s more that GP is problematic when it happens to POC because it’s yet another form of erasure and alienation/dehumanization we disproportionately experience in media. When GP happens to a white character, it’s like “oh that’s weird they’re an alien” but when GP happens to a character of color it sucks because we already have meager tokenized and stereotypical side-character-who-gets-killed-off-immediately scraps of representation as it is, and it shows that some audiences would rather see us as monsters and aliens than the way we actually look. Ouch. Is this the biggest problem in representation? Maybe, maybe not. But it is a problem that exists, and one that POC have been discussing for decades. Hope that explains a little better where I’m coming from.