#there's a backlog of asks but i will do my best to get to them all!

[llondonfog]

blows kisses at the dash

[taylorman2274]

We Care About You (Part V)

You are forcibly summoned to Teyvat via dream trawling for answers. A long awaited discussion ensues...

Content Warning(s): Xiao Story Quest Spoilers

Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader;

Word Count: 1.4k

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Taglist: @silverstarred; @victoria1676; @angelofdarkness2; @areaderspov; @andromeda-gay; @ash1; @mercy-not-merci; @toodledoodl3; @jellyedkazoo; @namine123; @innuwu; @agaygothicmushroom; @tired-of-life-86; @fantasyhopperhea; @sweetsourbxtch;

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After you had decided you were no longer going to play Genshin Impact, you felt as if a massive weight was lifted off your shoulders. Had the past few weeks really taken that much out of you?

"I suppose it did," you assumed as you were playing another game with your friend group. "I haven't felt this relieved in a long while."

You and your friend group spent many hours talking, laughing, raging, and sharing memes. When you noticed it was just past midnight, you felt that it was the best time to get some sleep. You bid goodbye to your friends, closed your computer, and went to take a quick shower.

While in the shower, thoughts began to ruminate in your head. "It's gonna be hard for me to find another game that will get me addicted as much as Genshin did. But maybe something in my backlog might work for now."

The thoughts continued after the shower, after brushing your teeth, and after getting in bed. "I almost forget what game I was playing before I started Genshin. Was it something I finished? If not, maybe I should go back to that."

Before long, you fell asleep. However, unbeknownst to you, your computer mysteriously turned itself back on and began to launch a certain application...

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"Do I need to remind you again how to perform Dream Trawler?" Xiao asked.

"Nuh-uh," Paimon shook her head, setting down a Seven-Star Lamp. "Paimon has a great memory! First, we offer incense with respect for Rex Lapis. Next, we meditate and think of our target. Then, we shout 'Bring Forth Sin'!

"It's 'Devayaksha, Bring Forth Sin'," the Traveler corrected as they were adjusting the position of the censer.

"Right!” Paimon nodded, setting down another Seven-Star Lamp. “Lastly, we let loose a couple of arrows towards the two yaksha statues to... to uh... uhhh...".

"Tsk. Fools."

This conversation was taking place while the Traveler and Paimon were setting everything up for the Dream Trawler ritual. However, instead of going back to the two yaksha statues on the southern face of Mt. Tianheng, Zhongli suggested they perform the ritual at Luhua Pool.

"If my guess is correct, [Y/N] will most likely panic upon realizing where they are. If that's the case, it would be better for them if they weren't so close to the harbor. It's best if we do not attract any attention."

Both the Traveler and Paimon agreed. Neither of them wanted [Y/N] to be afraid. They only wanted to give them the warmest of welcomes.

"Are you two done yet?" Xiao asked, annoyed at how long it was taking to get everything set up.

The Traveler and Paimon walked up to Xiao. "Yep! Everything's set up just like last time."

Xiao nodded. "Good. Get ready to initiate the ritual."

The Traveler and Paimon nodded in return. They put the incense inside of the censer and began to meditate.

"Since we are dealing with someone from another world, I would imagine that a great deal of focus should be needed to summon [Y/N]. This is especially true since we have no idea what they look like. I'm sure Xiao warned you of the consequences this could cause should you not take this seriously.

Zhongli's words echoed in your mind as you put all of your focus towards [Y/N].

"Hmm..."

[Y/N], who has been with them since the beginning.

"Ohh..."

[Y/N], who has done their best to guide them along their journey.

"Ahh... Hmm..."

[Y/N]. [Y/N]. [Y/N]. [Y/N]. [Y/N].

"Devayaksha, Bring Forth Sin!"

---------------------------------------------------------

...

... ...

... … …

It's cold.

You shifted in your sleep and immediately felt the lack of bedsheets surrounding your body.

Instead, you felt... rock? Sand?

Slowly opening your eyes, you were met with the cloudy midnight sky, trees with orangish-red leaves, and tall, rocky mountain peaks.

"...Wait. ...Why am I outdoors?"

Your eyes slowly began to adjust to the moonlight.

"...And why does this look so familiar?"

You brought your hand to the ground to begin pushing yourself up, but stopped moving once you noticed the light blue glow surrounding it.

"What the hell?!"

Shocking the exhaustion from your body, you quickly rose up from the floor, nearly losing balance as you stood due to how light you suddenly felt. You looked around the rest of your body and found that you were completely surrounded by the light blue glow.

"This has to be a dream... This has to be..."

"My job is done. I'm leaving now."

Startled, you quickly turned around to find three familiar persons standing a couple of yards away from you.

"Huh? Why don't you wanna stay?" A floating pixie asked.

"...Paimon?"

A short, tattooed man with azure hair scoffed in response. "I don't deal with mortals."

"...Xiao?"

You let out a crazed chuckle. "I've got to be dreaming."

Paimon, oblivious to your decreasing sanity, shook her head. "Nope! We summoned you here via dream trawling. Isn't that great?!"

You were silent for a few seconds before you responded. "Dream... trawling...?"

Sensing that you were still confused, Xiao sighed in annoyance. "You are [Y/N], right?"

Hearing the sound of your name shook some sense into you, but you still involuntarily nodded.

"Good. When you're ready to send them back, speak my name." Xiao told the Traveler before disappearing.

However, seeing Xiao disappear right in front of your eyes shook you even further. "Woah...! That looked way too realistic."

The Traveler let out a small cough to grab your attention. "If you wouldn't mind, [Y/N]. We summoned you here because we've been wanting to talk to you for some time now. Please, grab a seat."

They gestured toward a stone table that was definitely not there the last time you visited. They then sat down on the stone seat facing you. When they looked up, they realized that you hadn't even moved as much as an inch. Additionally, you stared straight at them, yet still appeared lost in thought. Sensing that you may still be bewildered about your current situation, they spoke up.

"You don't need to worry about anything, [Y/N]. There is nothing around here that will hurt you," they gestured to the seat again. "Please."

Had they been unable to see your chest moving in and out, both Paimon and the Traveler would have thought you to be a statue.

"This is a dream. This is real. This is a dream. This is real. This is a dream. This is real..."

Paimon shared a worryingly glance at the Traveler before floating on over to you. You were too oblivious to your surroundings to notice her approaching, but when she finally reached out a hand to tap your shoulder, you flinched back. Hard.

"Wahh! Sorry! Paimon's sorry!" Paimon quickly apologized.

Meanwhile, your brain was working in overdrive to assess the situation. "I felt her! I felt her! I'm not dreaming! I'm not dreaming! This is real! This is real! THIS IS REAL!"

"Paimon get back," the Traveler commanded, standing up from their seat. "They're in shock."

"In shock!? What do we do about that?" Paimon questioned.

The Traveler didn't respond, instead, they slowly began to walk towards you.

Becoming more aware of your surroundings, you noticed the Traveler approaching and slowly began to back up, raising your arms in front of your body. "No no no no. Don't come any closer."

However, the Traveler continued to walk forward one step at a time. They raised their hands up in the air. "It's okay, [Y/N]. It's okay."

You shook your head. "No, it's not okay," you rapidly spoke, breathing loudly. "I'm not supposed to be here."

"Yes, you are. We summoned you here."

You backed up into a broken stone pillar. "Why?" you asked, looking behind you for a quick second. "What did I do?"

They stopped in place before a sorrowful gaze appeared on the Traveler's face. "You’ve done nothing wrong."

Silence hung in the air for an agonizingly long time. Finally, you spoke:

"...Nothing?"

The Traveler nodded. "That’s right. We just want to talk."

You slowly lowered your arms. "About... what?"

Both the Traveler and Paimon smiled. "About our future journey together."

Confusion set upon you once again. "What? But I… I said I was done."

The Traveler sadly shook their head. "We know, but we can't let you leave. Not after all you have done for us."

Paimon chirped in. "Exactly! You're our friend after all!"

Your breathing stopped upon hearing Paimon. After all that effort you put into making amends with them. After believing that it was all for naught.

"You... you see me... as a friend?"

The Traveler nodded, their smile growing bigger. "We do."

Silence fell upon the three of you once again. This time, it was the Traveler who broke it.

"I think it's time we all grab a seat. Shall we?"

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Author's Notes: I was originally going to make this longer, but I once again struggled at trying to write this scene out. It's hard trying to figure out how people should believably react to this scenario.

Because it's never happened before, duh.

Anyways, the next part will be the end of this series. Stick around for the ending!

[yourlocalcorviddad]

Ok so some bad guy kidnaps the justice league, has them incapacitated and whatnot.

The rogue starts monologuing about how through magic they can face the people they wronged, how it’s the first torture he will put them al through.

He starts with Batman and says ‘This ritual brings back the first people you failed to save.’

(The ritual summons relms ghosts)

The bad guy was NOT PREPARED for Martha Wayne to come out of the summoning circle and do her best to beat him to death for hurting her baby. (Thomas Wayne is going around freeing the league and providing medical help. His wife has this handled)

I was not aware I had an ask! Sorry this took so long!

But yes! This just, you have so many brain filling cabinets I wanna riffle though, so many

-

Martha knew, she and Thomas felt the tug and, thanks to recent lessons put out by the yeti at the direction of their king-it took him years to get through the backlog of what was needed, so some things are still being rolled out but it's already so much better-they knew it was a summons and could tell, not clearly as a named summons but as a 'most tied ghost to the place/person' summons es being done.

Which means home, or Bruce, which honestly was the same thing. Bruce and Alfred were their home as much as Gotham was.

After the fog cleared, and she heard the sneering, grandstanding voice of someone clearly trying to harm people, she didn't even waste time.

"You've got this darlin', I've got our boy and his lil friends safe'n hand."

And that reassurance from her also-dead partner was all she needed to go after the summoner.

"So you folks are my lil bat's friends! We've heard lots about all y'all been up to since we died, we're right proud of all of it."

[written-in-flowers]

Here, Hyung?: Changbin x Male!Reader

Pairing: Changbin x Male!Reader | Side Pairing(s): Chan x Male!Reader, Changbin x Hyunjin, Minho x Jisung, Ot8 x Male!Reader

Genre: Smut, fluff, | AU: idolverse! idol!au

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

Word Count: 7k

Summary: Changbin drags you to the gym with him after a recording session. What starts off as a normal work out between friends becomes something much more strenuous.

Tags: polyamory, public sex, shower sex, teasing, handjob, cockwarming, voyeurism exhibitionism, group sex, foursome, body worship, muscle worship, muscle kink, gym sex, biting, spanking, rimming, anal sex, anal fingering, creampie, finishing inside, cum eating/swallowing, subby!han, dom!chan, bigdick!changbin, top!changbin, bottom!reader,

Disclaimer: This work is completely fictitious and for entertainment purposes only. They are not meant to reflect or label the members of Stray Kids in any way. The events within never took place. Thank you.

Here's What You Missed on Newbie!

***

“That was really great, YN, but I think for ‘come inside now’, try to get it to match Felix’s ‘Hey’. Like, his line is pretty fast, so you should match that speed. Okay?”

“Okay.” 

“Alright, awesome. Whenever you’re ready.”

You loved being in the studio. Working on music makes you feel more productive. You felt alive when you sang; when you sang, you could forget whatever bothered you in the moment. Adjusting your headphones, you shook out the slowness from your sleepiness and let the music play again. This would be your first album with Stray Kids. A repackage with your first single, ‘God’s Menu’, Chan, Changbin and Han felt some new songs featuring you will endear fans to you more. They also said it showed off your singing talents. You wanted to make them proud of you, especially Chan, who had so much faith in you. 

“That was good,” Chan said, approving the newest take. “Let’s go to the next line.”

“I shout my lungs out, I don’t have time to hesitate.” You sang into the microphone, following the music playing through your headphones. Yet, you thought you felt your voice crack on the last word, and you shook your head. You heard the three producers giggling, and you couldn’t help laughing with them. “Can I do that one again?”

“Don’t you want to play it?” teased Chan through the booth speaker.

“No,” you answered, smiling and laughing. “Please, no.” 

“You sure?” Han asked, purposefully cracking his voice to tease you. 

“We shouldn’t subject ourselves to that,” you chuckled. 

You sang the line again, this time hitting every note before the trio deemed it suitable to continue. “Very good job, YNnie,” said Chan through the speaker again. “I think we’re going to finish quickly today.” 

“Can I do one more take of that one?”

“Why? It’s fine.”

“I think if I add a bit of huskiness, it’ll flow into the next line better. I’d like to try it and see how it sounds.” 

“Alright, sure,” he said, “I’ll keep this one and we can record that one and see?”

“Yeah, cool.” 

“Cool.” 

You each decided the first recording was better than the second. Chan told you he wanted to give you larger parts in some songs to showcase your vocals. He always brought out the best in his members, not letting go of a line until it was perfect. You’d grown to trust Chan to make you sound as good as he possibly could. He also grew interested in the dozens of original songs you had backlogged in your laptop, and written in your notebooks in your room. He’d seen them when he found you writing in the cafeteria before dance practice, and asked. You normally hesitated when sharing your music; it felt like sharing a piece of your soul when you did, but you showed them to Chan. 

Something about the leader knocked down your walls. 

“YNnie,” Changbin stood up from the couch, fixing his hair. He’d come to the studio in his work out shirt and shorts, and you knew why. “Let’s go to the gym.” 

“Do we have to, hyung?” you pouted, hoping your cuteness might persuade him otherwise. “We have so much work to do here.”

"Actually, you’re done for today, hyung,” Han said, smirking as his words pushed you further to the gym-route. “We’re doing the next song tomorrow.”

“Stop being a baby,” said Changbin. “Get your stuff together and we can find a way to make you like getting healthy.”

“I’m plenty healthy,” you mumbled, grabbing your duffle bag from beside the couch. 

When you reached the door, Chan caught your attention. You wished he’d worn something else other than a tight black shirt and put a cap over his soft fluffy curls. Even if the other members surpassed all idols with natural beauty, Chan always caught your eye. You stood by the door when he came over to you, Han speaking with the other producers by the boards. 

“Hey, if you’re not busy later,” he said, “I thought it’d be cool if we worked on some of your songs? I’d like to add the one you told me about to the repackage album.”

“‘The View’? Oh no, that one’s not ready yet. I don’t think it’ll go well with the vibe of the repackage anyways,” you said modestly. “It’s not even finished.” 

“We can work on it together,” he insisted. “I’d like you to be part of the music production too. You have all that equipment in your room; it’s like your own little studio. Why not?”

“It’s just not good.”

“You need to start having more confidence, dude,” he grinned. “Your stuff is great. I mean it.” 

Compliments from Chan never cease to make your heart flutter.

“So, we’ll do that and we can get some dinner together or whatever,” he said. 

“Sounds good. I mean, I’m going to be beat since Changbin will likely ride me throughout the gym,” you said, “But that sounds good to me.” 

“Don’t worry. I’ll tell him to take it easy on you,” he winked. “See you later, bro.”

“Later.”

Working out with Changbin was not on your To-Do list for today. You’d originally planned to go to the practice room for a solo practice run after recording. But when Changbin texted you a photo of his gym outfit that morning, you knew you’d be elsewhere today.

“Hyung,” you whined behind him as you walked to the company gym downstairs. 

“You’ll feel better when you’re done,” Changbin said, cutting off your complaint before it began. “It’s good for you to do something besides work. You’re turning to Bangchan-hyung. He does nothing but work until he’s burnt out and running on fumes.”

“I do other stuff besides work,” you scoffed. 

“Hardly. I promise,” he said, “After today, you’ll like working out. This is my mission today.” 

You walked in behind him to the company gym in your plain shirt and loose shorts, very unenthusiastic about this. You went to the gym to keep up your fitness for performances, and that was all. You learned after four months of being with Stray Kids that Changbin actually enjoyed working out at the gym. This should have been obvious given the guy’s muscled arms, chest and shoulders. The same muscles that had you weak in the knees the whole time. 

Memories of the last time you’d gone to the gym with Changbin made you internally cringe. You did your best not to notice his shirt clinging to his torso and biceps that day. Every time he made the softest of grunts, instant images of him making those sounds with you came. You hated being so weak for them; you should be focusing on yourself, not whatever horny desires came to you. You’d debuted, but you still needed to keep improving and working. You couldn’t let Stray Kids distract you with their gorgeous faces, perfect bodies, chaotic energy and open sexuality. While you did slightly more comfortable being open with them, you couldn’t let it slip too much. 

“Or we could go to your place?” you recommended to him, putting your personal belongings in the company locker room. “Play Playstation and forget about the gym completely?”

“Another time,” he smirked. “I need a new gym buddy, and it’s going to be you.”

“Why me?” you groaned, following him to the gym area. “I’m terrible at working out.” 

“That’s why,” he said. “Is it wrong for a hyung to want his dongsaeng to be fit and healthy?” 

“No, but…”

Changbin brought you over to a series of mats lined up in front of a mirror. His eyes swept over you for a moment, then he said, “Don’t worry, YNie. If you get hard again, I’ll take care of it for you.”  

“I won’t.” 

“Sure, you won’t. Come on, pervert-”

“-I’m not a pervert-” you answered, hiding your face from him. 

“Warm up with me.” 

You started with simple stretches before he led you in lunges and leg swings to get your legs moving. It became a joke in the group to call you ‘Pervert’ when nobody else was around. You supposed you’d earned it with everything you’d done during pre-debut. While you might act shy about it, you did not mind it so much when they said it with affectionate, teasing smiles. 

“You actually do have a good body,” he said when you both laid on your elbows and toes to do high planks. “How often did you work out before?”

“Not that often. Once a week, I think? I did most of it through dancing anyway.”

“You should come more often, especially with me and Chan-hyung.”

“Chan-hyung comes here?”

“Of course he does,” he snorted. “Where did you think he worked out?”

“His dorm. Another gym,” you guessed out loud. 

Working out alone with Chan. You didn’t mind Changbin at all, but any excuse to be alone with Chan sounded great to you. Not just because he said when he fucked you, he wanted you to himself either. You enjoyed being in his company. He carried this comforting aura about him that made you feel safe. You understood why the other members felt okay being open in front of him. While you did like being in the studio with him, it was places outside the company building you liked. He often took you out to a cafe around the corner for coffee or you went to parks where you sat and ate snacks together. You talked about everything from your lives before kpop to your families and to your mornings. The warm infatuation you felt around him blossomed into a much grander feeling. When you’d both gone out for drinks after a long practice day, you both stood at the bar’s outdoor area overlooking the Han river. The wind blowing in his black hair, the dim lanterns bringing a glow to his beige skin, you realized not a single soul measured up to him. Not even Jihwan, who once owned your heart. You thought about kissing him. You wished he’d kissed you. 

“You like him, huh?” Changbin asked, standing with you from the mats. 

“Who?”

“Chan,” he said, “You really like him.”

“Yeah, he’s a great guy.”

He laughed, “No, I mean, like-like him, YN.”

“Oh,” you laughed nervously, looking at yourself in the mirror to avoid meeting his eyes, “I mean, wha-what makes you say that?”

“The fact that you look at him with heart eyes whenever he’s not looking at you,” he smiled. “You’re always looking for excuses to hang out with him, and just him. I know these things.” 

“I don’t have a-Wha-I just admire Chan and look up to him as our leader, that’s it.”

“Ha, yeah, you want to look up to him…from your knees.” 

He laughed softly when you flicked his shoulder. He brought you over to the pull down machine, since Changbin insisted you should work on your biceps and back for a bit. He helped you grab onto the handle above you, then observed as you pulled it down gently with light weights. 

“You know,” he smirked as he adjusted the back to keep you from leaning, “He likes you too.”

“What? No, he doesn’t. We’re just bros. That’s it.” 

“Maybe to you,” he said, “But I know Chan. He likes spending time with you in and out of the studio. He picks you to be on his team in every SKZ Code game we play. He naturally sits next to you when we go out as a group; he always chooses to walk next to you. He loves the other members, of course, but he’s taken a special interest in you.”

“Yeah,” you finished your set with a grunt, “Because I’m still new and he wants to make sure I’m adjusting okay. That doesn’t mean he’s in love with me or anything.”

“I know when somebody is in love,” he grinned knowingly.

“Psh, please.”

“Because I was the same way with Hyunjin.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, no not when he was underage,” he said quickly. “I might’ve joked with him about it, but I wasn’t serious about it until about two years ago?” He took up the bench next, and you did your best not to take in the muscles. “We grew closer, and I suddenly got butterflies around him all the time. I liked teasing and joking with him. I found reasons to be next to him, to talk to him, to laugh with him.” He smiled softly to himself as he did his first set. “I thought we’d always be only friends because he was younger, and that’s how we started out. But then, during one studio session, he kisses me. Like, randomly kisses me. Then tells me he’s always had a crush on me, and hoped that all the times I flirted with him weren’t jokes.” He stopped pulling, then stood, “Then you guys started dating?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Maybe if you two stopped dancing around one another, you might actually get somewhere.”

“It’s not like that.”

When you went over to the pull up bars, Changbin let you get into position first. He placed both his hands on either side of your torso. He then pressed his lips close to your ear, “In that case, if things aren’t like that,” his hands went to your waist, “There are seven other members who’d love to take his place. I know Hyunjin and I would love you to join us.”

“Hyung,” you breathed, a special kind of warmth running down your body now, “We’re at the gym.”

“That didn’t stop you before,” he said, grabbing your arms to place on the bar above you. 

Your hands above your head, Changbin had access to the rest of you. His hands slipped through the loose holes of your shirt, his fingertips grazing your bare skin. You didn’t know if you’d be able to pull yourself up with him right behind you. Yet, you started pulling yourself up at a steady pace. It made your muscles burn slightly from the strain of lifting your body. Changbin didn’t say anything as he held onto your hips, occasionally sliding into your shirt to brush your nipples. Your eyes kept darting around the gym for a sign of a single soul, but the early hour left the place deserted. As you did a few more pull ups, you trembled at the hands going further down your body. Soon, he held you by the curves of your ass as if using you as a weight. 

“Changbin-hyung,” you giggled out of embarrassment when you finally let go of the bar. “Here?”

“There’s nobody around,” he whispered, arms going around your waist and face buried in your neck. Planting gentle kisses along your collarbone, he said, “We can mess around a little bit here. I do it with Hyunjin and Chan all the time.”

You gulped imagining Chan and Changbin in a similar position. Then, you gasped when the hands on your ass gently pulled down the back of your shorts. The sudden exposure left you flustered and not sure what to do. Tightness built up in your lower gut when Changbin pressed his groin to your bare ass, the smooth fabric of his shorts dragging up the crack. 

“You should do a few squats,” he said, voice low and breathy as he grabbed one of your cheeks. “It’ll help with your thighs and keep this ass in perfect shape.” 

“You think my ass is nice?” you replied. 

“More than nice, trust me.” 

He spat on his fingers and slipped them between your cheeks. A gasp left you when the two fingers brushed right to your entrance, and you might’ve folded right then. Still, you got into the proper upright position and began taking careful squats. It didn’t help that each brush put you right against Changbin’s wet fingers. Sometimes, he’d stop you just to tease. He started with slow circles around it, going up and over at times before returning to the torturous touch. It brought on a tickling sensation that hit your core multiple times. Your loins might’ve been on fire from how he so expertly teased you. Whenever you grew shaky, he’d give a soft laugh and slide his fingers down to your balls for a few delicate rubs. 

“Changbin…” you whimpered when he did this. You completely forgot the burning in your legs due to the pleasure pulsating to the apex of your thighs. “That feels so good.”

“It makes you reconsider coming to the gym with me again, huh?” he teased, pushing his finger to your hole when you stopped squatting.“I don’t mind doing this with you any time.” 

One arm around your waist, he slid his hand under your shirt to tease your nipple. You did nothing to push him away; it felt too good to stop him. You wished he’d do more. 

“Don’t say that.”

“Why?”

“Because then I’ll want to do it all the time.” 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he chuckled, pushing his finger in another knuckle. Your body contorted backwards to the finger probing your ass. His thumb brushed over your middle of your nipple, adding to the arousal in your lower belly. “The gym is the best place for it. There’s lots of places for me to work out both my muscles and pretty boys like you.” You whined when he withdrew his hand, unable to avoid the emptiness he left behind. An idea came to him as he brought your lips to his, “Come to the bench press with me. You need to work out your chest.” 

The bench press proved to have nothing to really do with working on your pectorals. It served to let Changbin’s fingertips sail up and down your torso teasingly between sets. He’d added weights to either side for you when he saw the normal 20kg on each side was nothing to you. The only time he did not touch you was when you were lifting, since too much distraction might make you lose your grip. When he saw you struggle on the last set, your arms burning, he straddled you to help you lift it easily. You couldn’t help noticing the bump in his shorts, and how close it was to you. With the bar out of the way, he could easily pull it out and shove it down your throat. You bit your lower lip thinking about it. 

“Pervert,” Changbin laughed, shaking his head. He grabbed himself through his shorts, showing the print underneath, “You’re practically drooling for it, aren’t you?”

“No,” you said unconvincingly. “It’s just in my eye line. That’s all.” 

“Just like how your pretty lips are in my eye line, right?” he said, rubbing his cock through his shorts. He moved further up the bench until his crotch was inches from your face, “Or how they’re so close they could kiss my dick through my shorts.” 

“Yes,” you sighed, mouth watering from the thick outline right in front of your face. 

“Go on,” he encouraged, tugging on himself, “Give it a kiss or two, if you wa-oh wow…” 

Hooking your arms around his thick thighs, you started kissing right where his ballsack sat. Changbin exhaled deeply when you began a soft trail across both balls, nuzzling them to take in his natural musk through his pants. You kissed up to his shaft, though the position only allowed you halfway. You used your hands to rub the tip steadily growing upwards. You saw his eyes grow heavy with lust, and his chest started heaving slightly from your touches. Your eyes remained locked on his as you licked where his balls might be, the fabric dragging on your tongue which curved to the shape. 

“You pretend to be so innocent and shy,” he laughed, doing everything in his power not to grind on your face. “But, you’re just a naughty boy, aren’t you?” When you nodded, grabbing his dick through his shorts, he groaned, “A very kinky, naughty boy.” 

“It’s not my fault you all make it so easy,” you giggled. “All I have to do,” you gently slipped his shorts past just the tip, “Is exist around you and you get hard.” You delicately traced the wrinkles underneath the hard head, going down each one until you went back up. “Like, be honest, hyung. You brought me here to fuck me, not work out with me.” 

“I did bring you to work out,” he said, eyes closed, “But the fucking part crossed my mind too.” 

“Bunch of horndogs,” you snorted, “Every single one of you.”

“Hey, what can we say? We’re young,” he snickered, “And have a lot of pent up feelings.”

“Yeah, sure.” 

A trickle of precum spilled from the tip, and you eagerly licked it up with your fingers. Changbin let out shaky breaths as you continued teasing him, gripping the barbell on the rest in front of him. Someone could walk in right then. They could hide in the equipment, pull out their phone and film you driving Changbin crazy. Something about that scared and aroused you. The idea of someone watching you always made you rock hard, especially if they filmed it for later use. You hoped for a moment someone did walk in as you pulled down his pants another inch. 

“Let me get on the bench for a few sets,” he said hurriedly. “You can cockwarm me while you watch.” 

He lifted his pants up and you both dismounted the bench. You kept your hands in front of your crotch, dying from being so aroused in a public place. This would be the moment that Changbin takes you to the showers, where you both finish each other off. But, instead Changbin put on the weights of the barbell as if you’d hadn’t been teasing his cock seconds ago. You couldn’t imagine how many times he’s done this that he acts so nonchalant about it. You noticed the bulge forming in his shorts, and wondered how he is not dying from shame over it. Changbin laid right on the bench to then do the most scandalous thing. 

He pulled out his full cock. You thought you might be in a porn video. 

“Spit on it before you sit,” he suggested, stroking himself right underneath you. “I don’t want to hurt you too badly.”

You hadn’t seen Changbin up close on comeback night. Not particularly long, he was certainly thick. It made your cock pulse. Bending down, you drooled over the head. Seeing your spit travel down before he started spreading it over, you took hold of him yourself for several long strokes. You slid the head into your mouth, hearing Changbin give a soft groan, before straddling him on the bench. Changbin gripped the barbell, eyes focused on you pulling down your pants again and aligning him with your ass. You took deep breaths in anticipation of his width stretching you, then slid down. You let out quiet moans in every inch, your heart racing and stomach tightening as he slipped further inside you. When you finally impaled yourself on him, Changbin let out a low groan that tilted his head back. 

“That’s so nice,” he moaned, pushing up into you gently a few times to hear you whine his name. “Your ass is squeezing me so tightly. I don’t think I’ll be able to concentrate with you warming my dick up like this.”

“You-Y-You should try, hyung. You’v-You’ve barely worked out today,” you breathed deeply, hands on his ribcage as you fought the urge to ride him. His tip pushed right to your g-spot; you almost lost your mind when he rocked into you. “You’re not the only one who cares about his members’ health and bodies.” 

He chuckled at your words, then steadied his hold on the barbell. You sat on his cock, your own throbbing on his stomach in your pants, as he lifted it up and down with ease. His muscles bulged in each angle, his chest and shoulders working themselves each time. You felt up his abdomen when he took a break, feeling to his chest and rubbing along the line between his pectorals. His muscle shirt created a thin barrier between your fingers and his nipples. This distracted him a moment, so he placed the barbell on the rest as his body twitched under you. 

“YN…” he laughed, eyes closed. 

“I just want to make sure you’re steady,” you said, feeling back down his body. “You have such nice muscles. I want to feel them while you fuck me.” 

“In that case,” he took hold of the barbell again, “I should work them out a bit more for you.” 

You continued rubbing up and down Changbin’s chest, his muscles moving underneath your hands. The temptation to start riding him came hard, and you found yourself squirming for him to move inside you. You thought he might give in with how you clenched around him, but Changbin maintained his workout. He continued pumping the barbell up and down, taking steady breaths, while still enjoying your hands and ass on him. The small worry that someone might come in and see you sitting on top of Changbin like this came to you again. Your ears kept trying to find the slightest sound of a footstep or door opening as you sat there. But, your burning arousal made it harder to care. 

“Ugh!” Changbin grunted on the last lift, setting the bar back on the rest. He held onto your hips, keeping you in place as he started rocking himself to you. You thought you might lose it right there, his tip pressing deep inside you. “I think we’re done for today,” he groaned, “We can continue this workout in the shower?” 

“Yes, please.” 

You tried not whining too loudly as you forced yourself off him. Your cock tapped against your stomach now, which Changbin noticed right away. Even though you both pulled your pants back up, hands still sunk back into them as you kissed. You whimpered into Changbin’s mouth, tongue battling with his own while he fondled you gently. The touch sent you in a whirlwind. Your desire burned hot, bringing up a surge of excitement during your walk to the locker rooms nearby. 

Changbin barely waited to start undressing you. Your back pressed to the cold steel lockers, you kicked off shoes and tore off socks before working on each other’s shirts and pants. Seeing him bare in front of you, cock stiff to his stomach, you couldn’t stop yourself from feeling him all over. You kissed down his neck to his pecs, where you sucked the soft flesh until the spots turned purple. Changbin hissed, but did not discourage you. Your fingers went down his defined abdomen, almost counting each one before reaching the top of his erection. But, you then reached around to feel his strong back muscles. They flexed at your touch, and you moaned. 

“You’re so strong, hyung,” you moaned, gripping his broad shoulders and locked yourself around his waist. He carried you to the shower stalls easily; he might have been carrying a lightweight box, in your opinion. “You’re so much bigger than me…It’s so hot,” you giggled. 

“Do you like that I’m wider?” he asked, turned on by your response. He put you to the wall as he turned on the shower in the nearest stall. 

“I do,” you whimpered. Your cocks pressed together, you couldn’t stop yourself from grinding on him. “I like being thrown around and manhandled by bigger guys.”

“I can definitely throw you around,” he smirked. 

He set you down to turn on the shower, then immediately brought you underneath it. The gentle rainfall sprayed over the pair of you; streams slipped between you even in your kisses, falling down your bodies to the floor. Your hands found his pecs again, which you squeezed softly to hear him groan in your mouth. Being this close to him, getting to enjoy his body freely, felt liberating. For years, you felt scared to show even an ounce of interest in another man. The lingering nightmare that someone outside the company found out and your career would be ruined forever often came to you. Beomgyu’s hurtful words and fists became a harsh lesson in showing that who you truly were wasn’t allowed. He would’ve put you in the hospital if the manager hadn’t walked in on it. As Changbin’s hands gently caressed you, you thought of them being harsher and rougher with you. He could break you easily, like Beomgyu. 

“What’s wrong?” Changbin’s voice pulled you away, though he simply switched to kissing your neck. 

“This feels…good.”

“I know,” he smirked against your throat, leaving a soft bite and lick before moving back down. “It does for me too.”

“No, not just like that.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve never done this with a guy before,” you said, breathless as you felt his hands grab your ass. “I was always scared they might reject me or hurt me. I was always afraid of getting caught. I’ve kept who I was a secret for a long time. I know I still have to, but…” 

“Not with us?” he finished your sentence, kissing the other side of your neck as he kneaded your bottom. 

“Yeah.”

“Good, because you shouldn’t,” he slipped his hand down your front to your aching dick, “The only pain you’ll get with us is a few hard smacks to the ass, and lots of edging. Particularly with Chan and I,” he kissed you right as you moaned at his touch. “I love seeing the pretty ones wriggle,” he started stroking you slowly, “And whine while I keep them on the edge. Do you like that?”

“I’ve done it to myself,” you admitted, head falling back as more water continued spraying on you, “But not with another person.”

“Then we can do it another time. Time is pretty limited,” he said, thumb massaging your tip, “And I need to have you right now. Turn around, baby.”

You faced the wall, breath growing heavy with anticipation. Changbin crouched down and spread your ass cheeks apart. Water ran down your back to your bottom, where it slipped between your parted buttocks and over the tight hole. It teased the tight sensation in your balls; shooting up to your leaking tip. Changbin’s tongue created a different type of wetness that made you lean into the tiled wall. The tip of his tongue circled and flicked at it, while his hands continued squeezing your cheeks. You even gave a small yelp when he spanked one side, enjoying the small spark of pain and pleasure. Soon, he stood, and your fingers curled to your palms in fists. He did not shove himself into you immediately, though you felt his temptation clear. 

“Relax,” he said softly in your ear, tip pressed to your entrance, “Relax for me, baby.”

You tried, but your body still jumped when he pushed the first inch inside you. It certainly stretched. He took a few careful pumps with the one inch before adding a second, then a third. Each time had you simultaneously wanting him to rail you and keeping it slow to make it last. Any moment, you knew, someone could walk in and hear your labored breathing and faint moans. Much like the times before, public sex made you eager for a hard orgasm. The moment Changbin fully filled you, you fell into a spiral of bliss. 

“How’s that? It doesn’t hurt too much?” he asked with concern, keeping himself hilt deep to let your body adjust. “Do you want me to take it out?”

“No, no,” you said quickly, “Keep it in me. Fuck me, hyung. Please. I want it so bad.”

Changbin somehow kept a handle on his desires, because he kept the same careful speed. He gave small slaps to your ass, pinching and grabbing the tops of your cheeks to distract you. When he saw this only made you hornier, he kept doing it. 

“I think our team might have a new butt,” he said, pushing deep into you as he brought you to his chest. “Yours is so nice. It’s all round and a little plump. It’s just enough to grab onto while I fuck your tight hole.” 

His dirty talk only added to the pleasure wracking your body. You reached down to your cock, fiercely stroking to chase down your orgasm. Changbin did not stop you from pushing into his hips, clearly content with letting you use him. His own moans joined yours when you went faster. 

“Just like that,” he said, smacking your ass again, “Fuck my dick like that. I want to cum in this nice ass of yours.”

“Yes, please, hyung,” you said, forehead against the tile floor as your body tensed. “Cum inside me. I want your cum dripping out of me, please.” 

Suddenly, as if the fates hated you, the shower room door opened. Who the hell could be using the shower first? Changbin stopped right away, alert to the sound and stayed planted inside you. Your body shook against the wall, and you clawed at the grout between the tiles from frustration. Soft footsteps hit the tile floors, likely slippers, as they came further into the room. Panic slowly started setting in when a voice rang out. 

“Changbin-hyung? Are you in here?” 

Han. You recognized his voice right away, but the panic did not go away. 

“Hannie?” Changbin asked, surprised. 

“I came to work out. Hyunjin said you and YN might still be here,” he said. “Did he leave already? I didn’t see him outside.”

“No, he’s…He’s here.”

Han paused, then stifled a giggle. “Really? Here, hyung?”

“It just happened,” he said, kissing your neck and feeling safe enough to pull you into him. “He’s so pretty.”

“God, you’re such a slut,” he huffed. “I’ll tell Chan you guys are in here.”

Chan was here? Why did that turn you on more? Changbin and you resumed what you’d been doing, this time with him taking over jerking you off in time with his thrusts. You couldn’t hold back anymore. Your knees and legs started shaking as your orgasm approached. Changbin, sensing this, picked up the pace. The two of you thought Han went back outside before a rush of cold hit you from the shower door. Han stood in his usual gym clothes, smirking with his arm crossed. His eyes scanned down your naked bodies, then stopped where they met. Changbin stopped a second time, head resting on your shoulder, as he took deep breaths. 

“Don’t you know not to open a shower door?” he asked, unable to keep himself from grinding into you. “We’re busy.”

“I wanted to watch,” he said. “I’ve never seen YN be the bottom.”

A second person then appeared, and you thought you might cum right then. Chan stood in a sleeveless shirt and shorts, his black curls back from his face. He said nothing as he took in the steamy scene before him. Your eyes met his and you didn’t know what to do except moan. Having the two men watch you made your entire body burn with desire. Your back arched, hands pressed flat on the wall, as you started meeting Changbin’s hips. None of you said anything. Han and Chan started stripping off their clothes, and the more they revealed, the hornier you became. 

“God, you’re leaking all over the place, YN-hyung,” Han said in a low voice, taking hold of your dripping cock. He swiped a bit of precum with his thumb to taste it. “You do taste good. Too good.” 

“Oh god…” was all you could say, mouth hanging open. 

“I was telling him he’s our team’s new butt,” said Changbin, stuffing himself to the brim. “Don’t you think so, Chan-hyung? His ass is as nice as yours, and naturally too.” 

“What does that mean?” Chan asked with a laugh, slapping Changbin’s backside. 

“He doesn’t have to do squats for it,” Han said, who began kissing at your neck. “Can you fuck me, hyung?” he asked you in your ear, “Hyunjin and Felix always talk about your dick. I want to ride it too.”

“Did your owner say you could?” asked Chan playfully, pushing hair back from your face. 

“Yes,” Han said defensively. “You can call and ask. YN’s part of the team now, so he said I could.”

“I don’t have to,” said Chan. “You’re the one he’s going to punish. Not me.” 

“Can you both shut the fuck up so I can fuck YN?” Changbin snapped, stopping a third time and driving you insane. 

“Are you having trouble concentrating, Binnie?” Chan teased, hand fondling Changbin’s ass. “I thought you’d be so into YN, you wouldn’t notice us right here next to you.”

“If you two would shut up for like two or three more minutes,” he said, his hips snapping into yours. 

“Two or three minutes?” Chan smirked. “I’ve seen you last longer than that. You don’t want to leave our newest member wanting because you can’t hold it.” 

“Fuck you,” he laughed through gritted teeth. “I’ve been horny all day, and then I have him looking so good in front of me…A slutty pretty boy who loves being fucked in public,” he gave your ass a few smacks, making you whimper and yelp in pleasure. “Isn’t that what you are, YN? A slut?” he yanked your head back and went faster, and you thought you might cum right then. When you did not answer, he slapped your ass again. “Answer me.”

“Yes,” you cried at a few more spanks. “Yes, I am.”

The three members laughed, “Good,” said Han, going back to stroking your dick, “I’m a slut too. We can be sluts together.”

“And I love watching sluts get fucked,” Chan told you, pinching your nipple hard. “I love watching you get fucked,” he said in your ear, kissing the lobe before giving it a light tug with his teeth. “Let Changbin finish you off, cutie. I want to watch you cum the way you did last time.” 

Changbin kept the same speed, driving you mad with pleasure as the other two continued touching you both. Your moans and groans ricocheting off the shower walls, none of you caring if you’d be overheard. Balls slapping, hips meeting and hands smacking asses, you’re sure you were a delicious sight for a nearby Bangchan and Han. The latter steadily worked your dick for you, squeezing the tip and rubbing his palm over it until the sensitivity made you tremble. Chan worked your balls, reaching far enough to fondle them in his hand. You knew at this rate you’d spray cum all over the wall and floor. 

“You look so beautiful like this, YN-ie,” Changbing said so only you heard him, “All fucked out and desperate to cum. Be a good boy and cum for Channie-hyung. I know he’d like to see his precious boy cum all over himself.” He bottomed up into you, “I’ll be right behind you, baby. Go ahead and show them.” 

Eventually, your nails dug into your palms and your body started trembling. 

“There you go,” Chan said, “Go on. Cum for us. You can do it.”

“Shoot a big load for me,” said Han, licking up your neck as he moved his hand faster. “A nice thick, creamy one for me to lick off you.”  

Your entire body came at the mercy of your orgasm. Your back arched, giving Changbin a new angle, and your back went back. Hot cum leaked out of your tip, down your head to Han’s fingers. This didn’t stop him at all. All three men assaulted you with pleasure that prolonged your orgasm until you became too sensitive to handle it. Even then, the barrage did not stop. Han crouched down and did as he’d said: he gingerly and lightly licked up your cock, swallowing the bits on his tongue. You shuddered each time he passed over the head, the most sensitive spot that made your mind blank. 

“Trust me,” Chan said, “If you need a place to dump your load, Han’s your guy. He loves cum more than what should be allowed. I’m surprised we haven’t had to pump his stomach,” he chuckled softly, kissing your neck softly. 

“It’s yummy,” Han said, not denying the fact at all. “I like when it twitches in my mouth and throat; it makes me so hard so fast.” 

“Shut. Up,” grunted Changbin. “I’m-I-I’m alm-most there.” 

Finally, a distinct heat filled your own insides. It sprayed over your walls, and soon leaked down to your balls. Changbin’s loud groans could’ve been heard anywhere, but he didn’t care as he gripped your ass hard and pounded out his orgasm. The two of you took deep breaths, slumping against one another under the shower. Changbin kept you in his hold, not as tight but he kept you close. Neither of you spoke, and you felt yourself riding a whole new high. 

“How’d you feel, baby?” Changbin asked, kissing your cheek softly. “Do you hurt anywhere?”

“Ask me in a few hours,” you laughed, eyes closed as you basked in the glow. 

The four of you laughed, and you and Changbin rinsed one another off before leaving the stall together. Any stress from before had pumped itself out of you, and you felt light as a feather. While Han and Chan stayed in the shower, likely about to work on one another, you and Changbin left for the locker room. You forced yourself to dry off, knowing you’ll be properly washing at home, because your body screamed for rest. When you sat down to pull on socks and shoes, Changbin sat on the bench in front of you. 

“I told you he liked you,” said Changbin. “If he just wanted to screw you, he would’ve done it; not wait until it’s just you two to do it.” 

“He probably didn’t want to be rushed,” Sitting down proved to be a bad idea, and you quickly pulled on both your shoes. “Some guys can’t perform under pressure,” you grinned over at him. 

“It’s hard to concentrate with them talking so much,” he said, blushing and tapping your foot with his. 

“But you were talking too, hyung,” you laughed, grabbing your bag and following him out of the gym. 

“A bit of dirty talk isn’t a big deal, but I wanted to focus on getting you there,” he stopped by the door to plant a kiss on you. “I wanted you to cum as hard as you could, and I can’t do that if they’re yapping away.” 

The both of you laughed, sharing another kiss, before leaving the locker room. You climbed into Changbin’s car when you reached it, and you thought you might fall asleep in the passenger seat. You each decided a good lunch was in order, so Changbin drove to a place he loved. While you waited for your food at a pick up spot, your phone buzzed. 

‘You did great today,’ Chan’s message read. ‘In the studio and in the shower 😉 How’re you feeling?’

You squirmed from the butterflies in your stomach. 

‘We’re getting food, so I’ll likely be out of order for the rest of the day lol’ 

‘I know Innie keeps ice packs in your freezer, so I recommend using those haha Changbin is big in lots of ways.’ 

“He’s texting you, isn’t he?” Changbin asked, a teasing grin on his face. 

“He’s only checking on me.”

“Hmph, strange. He isn’t texting me to check on me.”

“You weren’t the bottom.”

“But I was there.” 

‘I still want to go over that song you’ve been working on. You haven’t shown it to me.’ 

‘I told you it’s not ready.’

‘But, you said you’re stuck on it. I could help you get it right. I love your music.’ 

“He loves your music, huh?”

“Changbin-hyung!” you put your phone to your chest. 

“He’s in love with you,” he said, picking up paper bags from the counter. “Just deal with it, and help me take this stuff to the car.” 

No way. Bangchan isn’t in love with you. 

He’s only being a good leader and friend. 

***

A/N: Gym sex with Changbin was far too good to pass up, huh? lol I hope you guys liked this one! Feel free to comment/reblog to let me know what you think! <3

[nostalgebraist]

Frank @nostalgebraist-autoresponder will permanently halt operation at 9 PM PST this Wednesday (May 31, 2023).

For context on why, see this post.

(tl;dr this project been a labor of love for me for years, it takes a ton of continual effort, and my heart's not in it anymore.)

----

The blog itself will stay up indefinitely, it just won't make any new posts or accept asks.

Most of the code, models, etc. are freely available right now. Insofar as they are now, they will continue to be. The change on May 31 is unrelated to this stuff.

I've made various interactive demos of these components over the years, and the demos will likely still work after the bot stops. But I won't do any tech support or maintenance on them, and I would actively recommend against using these as a way to "get Frank back."

----

I want to emphasize the following:

The best way for you to "send Frank off" over the next few weeks is to talk to her just like usual.

(And not too often, because she can only make 250 posts a day.)

This is true for a number of reasons, and can be viewed from a number of different angles:

(1)

While it can be fun to anthropomorphize Frank, she is structured very differently from a person, or even an animal.

She does not remember anything, even between two asks made on the same day. Every moment is a new one, with no relation to any other.

If you say "goodbye" or "you're going to be shut off" to her on May 30 2023, it's just as though you had said the same thing to her on some random day last year. She can't tell the difference.

She doesn't know these things are true or relevant now, and she can't possibly know in the way a human would. She's hearing the words for the first time, every time, and reacting in accordance with that.

Think of it like interacting with a baby, or someone with dementia. Every moment stands alone. If you strike a sad tone, they don't appreciate that it's about something. They just know that there is a sad tone, in the current experiential moment.

(2)

Frank mostly operates on a first-come, first-serve basis. She can only make 250 posts a day. There is a limited amount of time left.

Be conscientious about the way you're using up "slots" in this limited array of remaining Frank posts. Don't hog the ride.

(3)

I'm shutting down this bot in part because it's been a long-term, low-grade source of stress to me. I'd like the last weeks of the bot to be as low-stress as they can be.

When Frank gets an unusually large, or just unusual, form of user input over a period of time, I usually have to step in and do something in response.

(if there's way more input than usual and I don't do anything special, Frank will fill up most of her post limit quota before I even wake up, and then the asks will pile up further and further over the rest of the day.)

Maybe I have to delete a bunch of asks. Maybe I have to deploy some temporary change to her mood parameters to prevent the mood from getting too high or low and not coming back to baseline. Maybe I have to turn on "userlist mode," which still involves a cumbersome manual procedure.

Or, maybe I just have to do a lot more content moderation than usual.

"Usual," here, means reviewing and (mostly) approving something like 20 different hypothetical Frank posts per day, every day. If I go do something fun, and let myself forget about this task completely for 6 or 8 hours, there's a backlog waiting for me afterwards. During busy times, there's even more of this.

Just, like, help me chill out a bit, okay? Thanks.

[ladykailitha]

The Harrington Pattern Part 4

I know I said I was going to wait on posting this one, but it's got the most backlogged chapters so I figured I can at least put out this one for you.

It's extra long, like amount 1000 words longer than my usual. But I didn't want to stop half way through a specific section.

An elf gets his ears, Robin freaks out a bit, and everyone gets a little called out about their pre-conceived notions, but especially Mike.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

****

The day had arrived and Claudia had offered to help get them all there, as Eddie’s van was full and Robin still didn’t have her license. She was in driver’s ed right now, thankfully. Her parents didn’t want her going to college without knowing how.

So Dustin, Will, El, and Mike went with Claudia and Robin, Max, and Lucas went with Steve.

Dustin had wanted to go with Steve, but it didn’t make sense as his mom was the other driver. So he pouted all the way to pick up his friends, but by the time Claudia had picked up Mike Dustin was vibrating in the front seat.

Lucas was picked up last.

He still didn’t have his ears so he looked crestfallen when he answered the door. He was wearing the pirate outfit he had told Steve he had.

“He’s being a piss baby,” Erica muttered. “Something about ears.”

“Erica Jean!” Mrs. Sinclair hissed. “We do not talk about your brother that way.”

Erica crossed her arms and pouted.

“Actually, Mrs. Sinclair,” Steve said with a smile. “I have a solution, but I’m going to need your help.”

Both Lucas and Erica perked up at that. Steve patted his pocket with a wink.

“Of course!” Mrs. Sinclair beamed. “I told you Steve and Eddie were going to come through for you, didn’t I?”

Lucas blushed. “Yes, Mom.”

“Where do we need to be, Steve?” she asked.

“The bathroom would be the best place.”

She nodded and led the way, Lucas in the middle and Steve bringing up the rear.

Steve sat Lucas on the toilet seat and pulled out the thin box Eddie had given him. He opened it up so Mrs. Sinclair could see it first.

“Ooh!” she cooed. “I know just what we need. I’ll be right back.”

Steve turned around so Lucas could see them.

Lucas gasped. “Holy shit! What are they made of?”

“Silicone.”

“Do we need anything to affix the ears, Steve?” Mrs. Sinclair asked from her bedroom. “I have makeup glue if we need.”

“That’s fine, Mrs. Sinclair,” Steve called back. “I have spirit gum.”

She peaked around the corner. “Oh that’s even better!” She had her makeup bag in her hands.

“Actually Lucas,” Steve said eyeing the makeup bag. “Go change into your costume. I don’t want to smear makeup on your costume or accidentally knock off one of the ears and have to start all over.”

Lucas leapt to his feet and dashed out of the room.

“It was really nice of you to do all this for him,” Mrs. Sinclair told Steve in the wake of her son’s cartoon speed cloud. “It’s really made him feel special. To stand out in a way that feels good for a change.”

Steve smiled back at her. “He’s a good kid. It was great that I got to do something nice for him.”

Lucas came back a few minutes later, a blanket covering his costume. When his mom and Steve raised an eyebrow at him he blushed.

“I was worried about the makeup getting on the costume,” he admitted shyly.

Steve patted his shoulder. “I would have put a towel over it. A mom approved towel. I don’t think she’s going to approve that blanket.”

“Absolutely not!” She took off the blanket and handed them a ratty old towel to drape over Lucas’s shoulders.

“Thanks Mrs. S.,” Steve murmured and got to work. He applied the ears and then swapped with Mrs. Sinclair.

She applied makeup to the silicone to blend them to Lucas’s ears.

“All done!” she said triumphantly.

Steve whipped off the towel and pulled Lucas to his feet. He closed the door so that they could use the full length mirror that was on the back. He put his hands over Lucas’s eyes and gently steered him toward the door.

“You ready?” he asked softly.

“Yeah,” Lucas croaked.

Steve uncovered his eyes.

Lucas stared in the mirror for a moment or two.

“Baby?” Mrs. Sinclair asked. “Do you like it?”

Tears streamed down his face as he nodded. “I’m an elf, Mom...”

She hugged him tightly. “Yes you are, sweetie. And the best looking elf at the fair, no doubt.”

He nodded and then wiped his tears.

“How did you do this?” he asked Steve.

Steve smiled. “Jeff makes them.”

Lucas’s jaw dropped. “Oh.”

Mrs. Sinclair cocked her head to the side. “Who’s Jeff?”

“Mom!” Lucas hissed. “I like talk about him all the time! He’s the other black member of Hellfire!”

“Ah,” she said with a smile. “You talk about so many of those boys, I get them mixed up sometimes. But I’m happy he was able to help my baby out.”

Lucas rushed out to show the girls who gasped and oohed over Lucas’s outfit.

“How much did you have to pay for those, Steve?” she asked gently. “They can’t have been cheap.”

Steve shook his head. “Jeff did them for free because he knew what it was like to be told no just because of the color of his skin. So don’t worry about it, okay?”

She nodded and the two of them wandered out into the front room.

“Steve!!” Erica screeched. “I didn’t know you could sew like this!” She waved at Lucas. “What the hell?”

Steve threw back his head and laughed. “You could have come, and maybe would have gotten a cool outfit too. Too late now.”

Erica gasped, wide-eyed that Steve would call her out like this.

Mrs. Sinclair patted her daughter on the head. “You’re the one that wanted to sleep over at Tina’s this weekend, sweetie. Maybe next year.”

Erica couldn’t deny her mother’s logic and was forced to concede. “Fine, but just know I’m going to be grumpy about it.”

Mrs. Sinclair kissed the top of her daughter’s head. “I know, dear.”

“Come on,” Max said, “we’ve admired Lucas long enough, I want to go to this fair, please.”

Lucas and Steve shared a glance. “Uh-oh. She said please, we better go before she gets really mad.”

Max rolled her eyes. “Fuck off.”

Mrs. Sinclair bit her lip as she struggled not to tell the girl off for her language.

Max and Lucas piled into the backseat while Robin and Steve slid upfront.

*

The closer they got to the where the Renaissance Fair was being held, the more nervous Robin got.

“Steve?” she questioned. “Why are we heading to the burned down mall?”

Steve grinned. “We aren’t.”

Robin bit her lip. “No,” she mumbled. “I rode my bike on this road every day to get to work. This is the way to Starcourt.”

Lucas and Max leaned forward to see the road ahead of them.

“I think she’s right,” Max concluded. “This is the way to Starcourt.”

They pulled into the makeshift parking lot of the fair. It was pretty much a dust field with people in medieval getups directing traffic.

Steve pulled in where he was directed and they all piled out of the Bimmer.

They stood looking out at the field where Starcourt once stood, but was now a bustling center of outdoor activity.

“What the hell?” Robin gasped. “Where is the mall?”

Steve grinned. “This piece of land was always used for passing carnivals and the Renaissance Fair every year. When the mayor sold it to the Russians to build the mall it put a stop to a lot of summer activities the town once enjoyed. So after the earthquake they bulldozed the area and put back the way it was.”

“What did they do with the underground bunker?” Max asked, vaguely interested.

Steve scratched his cheek. “Filled it with uh, cement.”

Lucas and Max shared an appreciative glance and even Robin nodded.

Steve was the first to spot the rest of their group. Dustin, Mike, Will and El were waiting in neat little cluster for them.

Lucas tugged on the hem of his gambeson and ducked his head. Max looked over at him and rolled her eyes.

“They aren’t going to care,” she hissed.

Steve glared at her. “There has been evidence to the contrary regarding this very thing, so zip it.” He mimed zipping his mouth closed.

Max stared at him wide-eyed in shock. Robin tugged on her sleeve.

“Come on,” she told the younger girl. “Let’s got meet up with the others.”

Max huffed but did as she was told without protest.

Steve put his hands on Lucas’s shoulders and looked him in the eye. “Look, I don’t know how you feel. I can never know how you feel, but let me tell you something that those buttheads will probably never understand because they aren’t like you and me.”

Lucas nodded.

“Being a ‘nerd’ as they call it is not the be all end all of existence,” Steve said. “You can have interests outside of theirs. I know they gave you shit for joining the basketball team, but you are a good player, maybe even a great one if you keep at it. You won’t have the same experiences that they will and that’s okay.”

“But what if we stop being friends?” Lucas asked, his voice breaking.

“It’s going to suck for awhile,” Steve confirmed. “It won’t be easy and it will hurt sometimes when you least expect it, but you’ll make new friends with your same interests as long as you continue to be you.”

Lucas took in a deep breath and let out slow. “You’re friends were assholes though.”

Steve laughed. “And Mike isn’t?”

A small sunny smile peeked out from under Lucas’s cloud of worry. “Yeah, all right.”

They started walking toward the group with Steve’s arm slung over Lucas’s shoulder.

“Take a deep breath,” Steve told him as they got close. “And know I will kick his ass if he says anything.”

Lucas huffed out a laugh. “Thanks, Steve.”

They reached the crowd of their friends and waited for their reaction.

“Holy shit!” Will said. “That is an epic costume!”

And then Lucas fully reached the group and ears could be seen.

“What are you supposed to be?” Mike asked with a sneer. “There aren’t any black characters with pointy ears.”

Dustin scoffed. “He could be a Vulcan. There was a black Vulcan in ‘Search for Spock’!”

“That movie was so bad, dude,” Mike huffed. “It doesn’t count.”

“It totally counts,” Dustin protested. “It’s considered canon, therefore it counts.”

“I’m not a Vulcan,” Lucas said proudly, sticking out his chest, “I’m an elf ranger.”

“Are you a Drow then?” Mike asked. “You do know Drows are evil right?”

Dustin and Will’s jaws drop in shock and outrage.

“Dude!” Will hissed. “His skin isn’t literally black!”

Steve leaned over to the girls. “Does anyone know what a draw or whatever is?”

Lucas turned to Steve. “It’s a race of elves that live in the underdark, deep below where even the dwarves dare to delve. They’re straight up evil and very matriarchal.”

“Well that’s sexist,” Robin said putting her hands on her hips.

Mike rolled his eyes turned back to Lucas. “Well you can’t be Silvain elf, because they’re pale skinned and beautiful.”

“I’m a wood elf,” Lucas said, “my skin matches the woods around me, so I can blend in easier.”

Mike crossed his arms. “Show me one other dark skinned elf that isn’t you and maybe I’ll allow it.”

Just then a large van pulled up to the entrance in a skid, blaring metal music.

The four men got out and everyone was looking at them in stunned silence.

Eddie was dressed as a minstrel, wine dark puffy sleeves and leggings with a black tunic and boots. Gareth was a magic user in long, flowing purple robes that stopped two inches from the ground and beautifully carved wizard’s rod with a deep purple crystal in its grasp. Brian was a fighter with a metal sword at his hip and dressed in actual leather armor. Then the Party saw Jeff. He was dressed all in black with tight leggings, a short tunic and a black silk shirt that was covered by a short cloak. He had two silver daggers tucked into the tops of his thigh high boots.

He dropped the hood on his cloak to reveal that yes, Mike, he too had elf ears.

Jeff spotted Lucas and threw out his arms. “My kinsman! I greet you!”

Lucas turned and bowed low and Steve was forced to turn away to hide the smile at Mike’s stunned expression.

“Lord Kelnic,” Lucas greeted. “I understand these were a gift from you?” He rubbed the tip of one of the ears.

Jeff ran up to him. “Dude! How did you get them to match so well? I’ve tried every kind of glue to make them look like actual ears.”

Lucas blushed. “My mom used her makeup kit to blend the two.”

Jeff turned to the rest of Corroded Coffin. “And why didn’t we think of that?”

Gareth and Brian just shrugged.

Eddie on the other hand looked sheepish. “Because I thought makeup was just for girls?”

Jeff rolled his eyes and turned back to Lucas. “I’ll borrow my sister’s makeup for tomorrow. Can’t have shoddy looking ears next to my ranger kinsman.”

Lucas laughed.

Brian nudged Gareth in the ribs. “What’s Mike’s problem?”

Corroded Coffin all turned as one to see that Mike was standing there between El and Will looking like a rug had been pulled out from under him.

El patted Mike on the shoulder. “My mom says that people who judge someone by anything other than the content of their character are either too young to know better, or are immature. Grow better.”

She turned and started for the line that would grant them entrance to the Fair.

Lucas looked over at Steve and the two of them tried not to laugh at the absolute gobsmacked expression on Mike’s face.

“I’m not being racist!” he huffed and crossed his arms. “I’m not!” He looked around at all his friends, but none of them looked even remotely like they agreed with him. “He’s black so he should be black characters!”

Brian reared his head back. “Dude, how is that not racist?”

Mike looked around again panicked. “It just isn’t!”

Jeff walked up to him and looked him straight in the eye. A feat that was a little hard for most of his friends these days with how tall he’d gotten.

“There’s this thing, Mike,” he said, his voice low and menacing, “called casual racism. It’s where all your upbringing and prejudices come out in casual ways instead of saying things like nigger and that blacks should be separate from whites. It’s oh he can’t play that character, the character is white. He can’t be an elf, elves are white. That’s casual racism and you better check it before it ruins a damn good friendship.”

Jeff stared him down until Mike was nodding his agreement. He turned to Will and Dustin.

“I wasn’t here at the start of this conversation,” he said, “but you two need to be better at calling out Mike’s bullshit. Because a few years on, he should be better not worse.”

Dustin and Will gave confused glances at each other.

Jeff scoffed. “Lucas told me all about the lovely little Ghostbusters incident. He straight up told you he wasn’t going to be Winston, but Mike here assumed he wasn’t going to be anyway because he’s black. So the fact that here we are and he’s still being a racist asshole?”

“We do call him out,” Will said. “And I wasn’t here for almost a year, I don’t know what happened in that year, but yeah he got worse.”

Dustin shrugged. “I don’t know either, man. Don’t look at me.”

Steve stepped forward. “I think you do know, Dustin and I was really disappointed when I heard about it.”

Dustin looked up at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“After all, what’s a little casual racism when Lucas ‘betrayed’ you by joining the basketball team?” Steve said, crossing his arms over his chest.

The older members of The Hellfire Club looked chastised. Because they had all given Lucas shit for that.

“You still have time to course correct,” Steve said. “But make no mistake, any kind of bullying, is still bullying. Whether it’s about the color of their skin, the games they play, or the type of school subject they like.”

He pointed at Robin. “Band and orchestra is still people getting together and playing instruments like a metal band.” Eddie winced hard and shoved a lock of his hair in front of his face.

“Playing a sport is no different than DnD, planning, keeping track of stats, and working together are hallmarks of both.” Dustin and Mike shared a grimace and even Gareth and Brian looked uncomfortable.

“Being a genius at math or science doesn’t make you better than someone who is a genius at history or literature.”

To which everyone but Robin and Max looked at their feet. Because they had all made that mistake with Steve before this all started.

“I think we will all need to unpack some pretty garbage baggage,” Steve concluded. “But!”

All the heads shot up.

“We are here for a good time,” Steve said holding up his hand, “and as long as Mike apologizes to Jeff and Lucas I think we can move past this and enjoy ourselves today. Agreed?”

Everyone murmured their agreement, punctuated with nods. Mike looked down at his feet and kicked at a pebble.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I wasn’t trying to be racist. I’ll try to be better.”

Steve looked over at Jeff and Lucas and they both gave him a thumbs up.

“Great!” Steve said cheerfully. “Now let’s get this show on the road!”

“Dirt path maybe,” Robin grumbled. “It’s like an old western out here. I swear to god Steve if I see a tumbleweed I am out of here.”

Steve laughed as they all met El in line.

Now that the heavy stuff was out of the way, it was time for some good fun.

****

My favorite line was El's "...Grow better." Because there is nothing more stinging then your girlfriend telling you to stop being an ass.

Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @thespaceantwhowrites @paintgonewrong @mogami13 @beelze-the-bubkiss @croatoan-like-its-hot @retro-vagabond @dolphincliffs @child-of-cthulhu @sani-86

[haveyouheardthisband]

『 FAQ 』

USEFUL LINKS: Submissions spreadsheet (gigantic list of every band submission we've received. Song submissions are on the second tab. If this does not load on your device, you can view a plaintext archive here.) Data spreadsheet (List of every band that we've posted or are still in the queue, in order, plus occasionally-updated data for finished polls.) Song submissions form (Suggest a noteworthy song for a band that's already been submitted but not yet posted. First-come first-serve. These are linked in a readmore under the band's poll.)

⏭ Y'all made a mistake! / How do I get in touch? Please scroll to read the whole FAQ first. If your question has not already been answered, then send an ask. We don't respond to most asks publicly, but we do read them all. We do not often check replies or mentions. Do NOT send band suggestions via the askbox, it is for correspondence only. (If the question/comment concerns a specific post, you can also ping me @estradasphere in a reply, but asks are preferred)

───♫───────────── ⏭ Why was this poll tagged with [x]? Genres are usually from the artist's RateYourMusic page, if they have one. Country tags are also from RYM - we tag both formed/birth location and disbanded/death location. As for decades, we do not usually tag all decades a band was active for, just a few that contain their most popular output. If we get any of these wrong, please send an ask!

───♫───────────── ⏭ Why was this album art used? If the artist has an RYM page, the album art we use is of their most-rated album on there. If they don't, we use Spotify or Bandcamp or other sources. We tend to avoid album art that depicts potentially triggering subjects.

───♫───────────── ⏭ This artist is morally reprehensible! We do not endorse or support any artists posted here. We're asking if you've heard them, not if you like them - and doing a background check on every submission is infeasible. You are free to warn others via reply, reblog, etc. That being said, we may reject submissions at our own discretion.

───♫───────────── ⏭ Can you add a "yes, unfortunately" option? No, and we don't think this is the best perspective to have. Every band is someone's favorite! We are not intent on changing the three options we have now.

───♫───────────── ⏭ Can you post more/less of [x] genre? We run entirely off of submissions, and go through those mostly in chronological order. We do not control which bands get submitted. That being said, we do try to space out polls in the queue if there's a lot of submissions of the same genre/vibe in a row.

───♫───────────── ⏭ When will band submissions reopen? If/when we get through the bulk of the current submissions. Our backlog is so massive that this may not happen until 2026 (at the latest) though. Sorry!

───♫───────────── ⏭ When will my submission be posted? You can check our progress by looking at the submissions spreadsheet. Finished submissions are the ones highlighted turquoise. Keep in mind that we post once per hour, and you can probably estimate the date from there.

───♫───────────── ⏭ Why didn't my submissions post in the order I submitted them? We rearrange the queue if there's a lot of bands of the same genre/vibe submitted in a row. Or for no reason.

───♫───────────── ⏭ Why didn't my submission get posted at all? A few reasons this could happen:

Your band is still in the queue, just not in order (see the question above this one)

Your band has been submitted before (search the blog or the data sheet for them)

Your band is so obscure we couldn't find album art or genre info for them

You submitted a ton of bands in a row that are either all similar to each other or in alphabetical order (we don't want one person monopolizing the blog for a long period of time)

If you think we've made a mistake, you can send an off-anon ask or DM a mod, and we'll post a poll for them ASAP if valid. Accidents happen.

───♫───────────── ⏭ How do I suggest songs for multiple-artist submissions? See here and here.

───♫───────────── ⏭ What's the policy on vulgar/offensive band names or album art? Generally OK, but it'll be decided at our own discretion. In the case of album art, we try to find one of the artist's other works at around the same popularity, and if we can't, we'll trigger tag it.

───♫───────────── ⏭ Why don't you tag polls with the band names? Tagging it would put the post in the lap of every fan who follows or searches for the tag. For popular bands, we feel this would skew the results too much.

───♫───────────── ⏭ Can you trigger tag [x]? We currently tag common triggers like gore, nudity, body horror, and suicide (typically as "#___ tw" or "#cw ___"); if we missed a post with one of those, please let us know! As for implementing new trigger tags, sorry, we have enough on our plate at the moment and probably wouldn't remember it. We recommend using Xkit Rewritten's post block feature and/or Tumblr's built-in tag/content filtering.

───♫───────────── ⏭ Have y'all considered increasing the post speed to more than 1 per hour? We don't really want to, sorry! Making 24 posts per day to keep pace is enough work for us already, haha.

───♫───────────── ⏭ How many posts are in the queue? It's maintained at around 150-250.

───♫───────────── ⏭ Do y'all want/need another mod? Not right now. If we ever do, we'll make a post for it.

───♫───────────── ⏭ How is the profile picture album picked? It's just an album that one of the mods likes, that's all. It changes approximately every 2 weeks.

───♫───────────── ⏭ Why is Spotify used for song links and playlists? It simply loads faster on my computer than YouTube. We have no intention of changing this, sorry.

[lowpolyanimals]

welcome to lowpolyanimals 2.0!

welcome to the blog all about showcasing the crunchiest critters around!

submissions are currently: OPEN

note: please limit submissions to one per person per day for now

keep an eye on this pinned post for submission status and updates!

check out the search function to look for low poly animal models of your favourite animal species or for creatures from you favourite games and media. Or perhaps you have something not yet featured and want to show it off for all to see? well give em here and submit them already so we can get to basking in their glory!

if you have any questions, check out the F.A.Q. or send me an ask if it's not already been covered and I'll get my little rat hands on it!

How this blog works now

Submit an image of a low poly animal and let me know where it's from and I will post it to this blog as soon as reasonbly possible (a day or two)! You can also request specific models from certain media by sending me an ask, just tell me the name of the creature and where it's from and I'll do my best to find it!

How this differs from before

If you are a beloved frequenter of this blog, you may remember that I used to run this blog posting submissions in chronological order and submissions were always open. Unfortunately, due to the sheer volume of submissions, it took a long time from submission date to posting date and thus led to a huge backlog of submissions that evenutally became unmanageable :( To get the blog running smoothly again and to make managing it easier for me, I have had to park the backlog for now. I will clear the backlog eventually but it's going to take some time!

From now on I will be prioritising immediate submissions in order to keep wait times down. If you have submitted a post in the last 18 months and it has not been featured, please feel free to submit it again in order for it to be posted sooner. I will also open and close submissions as needed in order to stay on top.

As always, thank you all for making this blog such a joy to run. I will do my best to keep it going for as long as possible for us all to enjoy!

[speakofthedebbie]

@manicali still inspiring me to chase my dreams so have some hazbin hotel incorrect quotes i made a while ago + four actually new ones (dividers cuz the last one hurt my eyes lol)

---

alastor: overall, id say that experience was a net positive! vaggie: YOU KILLED AN ENTIRE BLOODLINE! alastor: net positive

kill em with kindness saga

charlie: if you kill someone with anything, kill em with kindness! angel: instructions unclear, i killed them with a tommy gun named kindness

---

vaggie: alastor, why the fuck is there a dead sinner at our dining table?!? alastor: first of all, how dare you assume it was me- vaggie: literally who else would it be. alastor: -second of all, charlie told us the other day to "kill em with kindness" so i baked them a pie alastor: it was poisoned

---

alastor: i toe the line between confidence and arrogance every day lucifer: i thought we all agreed that you are like. firmly on the arrogance side

--- (i altered the next one but you wouldnt know that)

alastor: you roughhouse with a guy one time and suddenly youre in timeout vaggie: alastor, you tried to kill him. and he was a guest alastor: key word being tried. hes still kicking, so i think i shouldnt be in trouble vaggie: do you know how many fucked up people would be walking the streets if that was how the world worked? alastor: i know. im one of them

---

alastor: i only kill people who kinda deserved it vaggie: then whats with the dead sinner at your feet? alastor: he was saying something about women belonging in the kitchen vaggie: vaggie: ...fair

---

charlie: al, what are you doing? alastor: stress release! charlie: ...youre stabbing a very life-like doll of my dad alastor: as i said, stress release!

---(the hotel needs a therapist frfr)

lucifer: who doesnt have a bit of existential dread in the morning? charlie: ...everyone??? husk: thats not normal? alastor: damn it angel: fuck! vaggie: oof niffty: *maniacal laughter in the corner* charlie: should i call someone???

---(charlie please get everyone a therapist trust exercises arent enough)

charlie: and what do we do when we feel overwhelmed? angel: drugs! alastor: go on a murder spree! niffty: a roach murder spree! lucifer: self-isolate for millennia! husk: drink until i forget what feelings are vaggie: irrationally hate on everyone! charlie: no!

---(luci the typa guy to talk to his cat frfr. maybe he actually understands her idk) [these next ones are actually new. yeah i had a bit of a backlog]

lucifer: hmm.. what about you, keekee? keekee: meow lucifer: my thoughts exactly

---

lucifer: pancakes are the best breakfast food! alastor: id beg to differ lucifer: Then beg.

---

lucifer: shower thoughts in the rain are still shower thoughts. if you think about it alastor: why am i in love with you again lucifer: i ask myself that question everyday :)

---

alastor: what can i say, i aim to please lucifer: you have never said a nice thing to me in your life alastor: i love you :) lucifer: you have said one nice thing to me in your life

oki bye

[schizopositivity]

Hello, I’m starting the process of trying to unlearn the harmful messaging, misinformation, and stereotypes surrounding psychosis/schizophrenia. I’m coming from a place of humility and ignorance - fully trying to abandon all of my preconceptions about these experiences and the people that have them. I found your blog while looking for people’s personal experiences and understanding of these conditions. Thank you for sharing this information and your perspective with the world! It can’t possibly be easy, and the honesty you share is helping people like me finally learn the right way. Thank you for all the work you put into this blog and for sharing it with the world.

As I was reading through your backlog, one of your posts discussed how medication can often specifically remove the positive symptoms of these conditions. I was wondering if you could explain in a little more detail what the positive symptoms are? It was my first time encountering this idea and I want to make sure I don’t get misinformation. If this question is insensitive, please feel free to discard it - I’m asking in the best faith and don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Thank you for your time!

Aw thank you! Sometimes I forget that people reading my posts don't already have a certain baseline understanding of terms commonly used for schizophrenia. So this is a great chance for me to teach people about the way schizophrenia symptoms are commonly categorized.

Since schizophrenia can include many different symptoms that are treated using different methods (or are untreatable) the symptoms have been put into 3 categories.

Positive symptoms are symptoms that add something to a schizophrenic person's life that many people don't have. Positive in this context just means "adding to", not as in "good" or "happy". Positive symptoms include hallucinations, illusions, delusions, catatonia, disorganized speech and disorganized thoughts. These symptoms are typically treated with antipsychotic medication. These symptoms can also come and go throughout someone's life.

Negative symptoms are symptoms that take away something in a schizophrenic person's life that many people do have. Negative in this context just means "taking away from", not "bad". Negative symptoms include avolition (lack of motivation), anhedonia (lack of pleasure), alogia (limited or lack of speech), flat or blunted affect, and social withdrawal. These symptoms might be treatable with therapy and social support. These symptoms are consistently present throughout someone's life.

Cognitive symptoms are symptoms caused by a difference in brain structure that causes a difference how the brain works in schizophrenic people. Cognitive symptoms include slower processing speed, impaired working memory, reduced attention and vigilance, reduced verbal learning, trouble with reasoning and problem solving, impaired sensory perception, and impaired social cognition. These symptoms might be treated with therapy. These symptoms are consistently present throughout someone's life.

(Not everyone with schizophrenia will have every single symptom listed in each category)

Here are some simplified infographics:

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi so I’m 15 and in a relationship for the first time so I don’t have experience with any of this stuff. My partner and I have been doing sexual stuff for a few months now I just have some questions.

First, I was wondering how we can do sexual things in a way that doesn’t bother other people in the house. Like maybe that’s a dumb question and the answer is just be quiet but idk it’s hard bc my partner is very vocal. Also there’s very few opportunities to do stuff without anyone else home so that’s not rly an option.

Also my parents have been very weird about my relationship with my partner. Making lots of odd comments such as “i wonder if they’re having sex up there” (to my brother who is a *child*) and giving me lots of looks that just kind of make me feel really bad about my relationship. I know that sex is natural but they make me feel really bad about it and I could use some advice on what to do about that

Next, my partner and I are both interested in getting in to kink but I don’t really know how to go about it. I’ve never heard of people getting into that stuff as minors and we don’t want to do anything too crazy especially since we don’t really have access to any supplies.

You’ve definitely talked about this before but could you tell me what kind of protection is best and easiest to use and obtain for f/f sex. School didn’t teach me how to use anything other than a male condom.

Thank you so much. Sorry for asking so many questions

hi anon,

your first question is going to be pretty circumstantial; I don't know what the layout of your house is like or how realistic it is to wait for privacy. the ideal if of course to wait until everyone else is either asleep or out of the house, but I recognize that the former may be difficult if not impossible for someone your age and you've already said the latter is hard to come by. using other noises, like music or TV or white noise, can be helpful, although it's unlikely to prevent your parents from speculating.

to address your second problem most directly, I'm afraid there's no much that I personally can do to rectify that. it is unfortunately very normal for parents to have an anxious, awkward, and difficult time adjusting to their children becoming sexually curious. I think the most crucial thing to remember here is that this has nothing to do with what you're doing being gross or wrong, and most everything to do with how your parents were raised to think about sex. unless they have specific concerns they want to raise with you about sexual safety, their reactions are most likely coming from a place of discomfort that they don't know how to channel appropriately. that's not a shortcoming on your part, but on the people who failed to help them develop a better way of understanding their own feelings about sex - and, yes, on them for how they're handling those feelings now.

I'm unsure exactly what you're interested in exploring, since kink covers a very broad array of activities and "supplies" could mean almost anything, but I would definitely recommend an abundance of caution in your explorations. kink is great, but that doesn't mean it's easy for for everyone. there's a reason that you seldom hear of people your age getting into kink, which is that it generally requires a great deal of practice with navigating partnered intimacy and communication - something that few teenagers have had time to develop the skills for. kink is also something that many people find works best as a communal activity, by finding others to help introduce them around and sharing experience to help safely explore their fantasies; for obvious safety reasons, few kink spaces are looking to admit 15 year olds. by all means, do your research - Evie Lupine's youtube channel is a great place to start, with a backlog of hundreds of videos covering all kinds of kink-related topics - but be careful with how you act on it, and recognize that kink comes with more potential complications and risks than "vanilla" sex that cannot be taken lightly.

if both parties have vulvas and vaginas then you can use dental dams for protection during oral sex, latex or nitrile gloves or finger cots to cover hands/fingers, and external ("male," although there's nothing inherently gendered about them) condoms for any penetrative toys (or cut them down one side to flatten them out and make the aforementioned dental dams).

please don't apologize for asking questions! questions are how you learn and stay safe :)

[trungles]

Cross-posting from my Patreon and my newsletter!

Welcome to this new, hopefully regular way for me to attempt to organize all the questions folks might ask about me or my work. I'll do my best to answer them, and I have a healthy backlog of these to get through! I'll still dig through my inbox on Tumblr here, but I just don't spend a ton of time here, and it's not the best way to get ahold of me.

ANYWAY, more after the cut (because I don't want to gum up your dashboard with a long post)

No holds barred, no IP or people off-limit: You can do a graphic novel adaptation of anything (or anyone's life story). What (or who) are you choosing?

With that in mind, I wanted to write and draw a book about an alternate universe Wanda in middle school having to navigate the quagmire of pediatric mental health services through the American public school system on top of figuring out her reality-warping powers. Like, what would the challenge of developing the tools for self-affirmation look like for a middle school girl who can change reality at will or by accident? How can she figure out and center what’s real or not if reality itself is literally malleable around her? How would she confront the emotional and physical gauntlet of being a tween when a mental health spiral could upend the fabric of the universe? That sort of thing. The whole arc of it was inspired by seeing how difficult it was for my little niece, who has similar brain issues to me, and her mother try to get adequate mental health support services for her in school, even with an IEP. It's a doozy of a process!

Anyway, the timing just didn’t work out. I’m just too tied up in projects I’m excited about at the moment, which is such a nice problem to have, honestly! 

Thanks so much for your question!

If you have any Office Hours questions for me, feel free to drop them here anonymously or through my website contact form.

[cuephrase]

Of the DC comics you've read so far, what would be your top recommendations for people to check out/what have you enjoyed the most?

when i tell you i have been thinking about this all day- i have been thinking about this. all. day.

so disclaimer, as of writing this, i have only read 31 runs from start to finish and 18 arcs/events outside of those runs. on top of, everything i've read so far has been strictly robin-centric, so dick, jason, tim, and damian. (i have read all of steph's robin appearances lol, but i haven't gotten to reading material for her, like say batgirl 2009, yet.) i've also decided not to rec from any run i'm currently reading, so for example, you won't see any batman: gotham knights recs here. because i'm most well-read on the robins, i'm only going to rec for them.

also, i'm going to operate under the following assumption: you've got a basic knowledge of the robins. none of these are where i would necessarily recommend anyone start reading about the boys, but i do think they'd be pretty interesting if you're already somewhat familiar with them and don't want to commit to reading whole character backlogs. does that make sense? i hope that makes sense.

alright, let's do this!

DICK GRAYSON

oh god. this one is actually so hard because he has so much great stuff, but then also i have like a love/frustrate relationship with so much of it. like for instance, i really enjoyed The New Teen Titans, but also lowkey can't stand space adventures so whenever that went down i was like 😀👍. but okay. hmmmm.

i have two preboot recs, with explanations + caveats.

devin grayson's mob!dick arc, so Nightwing 1996 #99-100, 107-117. caveats: it doesn't really get to finish playing out/wraps up weird because of editorial changes/infinite crisis. but!! it's a super interesting look at how dick handles...failure. how he values himself in light of that failure.

tomasi's run, but specifically #147-153. (listen, i love the dick and tim moments in 'freefall' but the whole eternally pregnant lady thing was too weird.) this is classic, hyper-competent dick, okay? he's such a bad-ass. and an idiot- bro literally flops his severely injured ass over the bars of his glider and rides it UNCONSCIOUS back to the batcave. i can't with him. poor alfred. anyways, he deals with two-face, always a good time. and then at the end, as a treat, he cries because bruce is dead. so fun!! what was my caveat here? oh yeah, he has a girlfriend. i don't remember her name, she serves like...very little purpose, the whole relationship is very minor/background okay, but like it was so unnecessary. he can be single, dc, it's okay.

for post re-boot, just read tom taylor's run!! it's the best thing ever!! zero complaints!!

HA. yeah, just kidding. that run is very like/frustrate for me lol. oh man i'm struggling here. it's not all bad okay, i'm just really picky, and i haven't re-read any nightwing n52 and onwards since my first foray into comics (8 months ago) so my memories of these are the foggiest and i'm not sure how i feel about all of it in light of what i've read now. yk what, i'm just going to...not rec anything. sorry!!

JASON TODD

his comics either go so hard or they're absolute ass, why is there no in between. istg, i can't figure out why writers struggle with him so much?? well. i mean, i do have theories. but you didn't ask for those!

pre-boot:

detective comics #569-574. robin!jason in the hands of writers who like him is so much fun. which, don't get me wrong, i don't flat-out hate how starlin writes him, but i think you get a more well-rounded view of jason as robin when you also see him in 'tec. jason and bruce tangle with the joker, scarecrow, + mad hatter, and all of those adventures are...idk if they were intentional foreshadowing okay, but reading those and knowing where the story goes? oof. especialllllly #574. caveat: #572 is pretty light on jason, but he is great when he's on panel!

reboot:

probably a very basic answer but rhato rebirth (2016) #1-13, annual #1. i abhorred n52 rhato so i almost skipped rhato rebirth since it was still written by lobdell, but i'm really glad i didn't. i really enjoy jason's relationship with bizarro + artemis, but especially with bizarro because i think jason struggles a lot with feeling like a doomed creation, so yk, parallels. i want to say more but i know i'll get too wrapped up in discussing jason so i'm just going to stop myself.

i actually really enjoyed task force z, too. i think about tfz #8 so much, jason is such a manipulative little shit and i love it. he's so- i can't. i can't get into this rn, it deserves its own post(s).

overall for jay, i need people to read something other than utrh/lost days/b:ul 1-6. i love those, i do, but they aren't the only good pieces of jason content!!

TIM DRAKE

MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!! in my heart of hearts, i just want to rec his whole robin run lmao. dick was my intro, okay, he is why i decided to start reading comics, but tim, specifically his robin solo is why i'm still reading comics. hooked me fr. and young justice 1998, ugh love. but it has been a minute since i read these as well, so hmm. okay okay okay

pre-boot:

batman: prodigal. short version, tim is robin to dick's batman. super fun. there's a solid amount of dick and bruce angsting too, which, love. tim is honestly just thrilled that jpv is out of the batsuit and even happier to working with dick. very cute.

robin #46. listen. they're all superheroes okay, they all feel pressure to save people. but tim...losses get to him. the amount of times that he gets shoved to a breaking point and then...gets back up. keeps going. *screams*. anyways!! this is not tim getting back up, okay? this is him being shoved way, way down. it's so good.

teen titans 2003 #20. tim's dad has died. he shows up for his weekend at the tower anyways. he is not okay. that's it, that's the pitch. i did not like...mmm at least 80% of this run okay, but a few of the issues HIT and this was one imo.

reboot:

*deep sigh*. look. tim is not tim for like basically all of n52, although there are moments here and there were he feels like himself. i did not like his 2023 solo, the best parts of young justice 2019 imo are the character designs, (except for his drake costume, what was that omg), and i haven't read any rebirth batman/'tec yet. except for zdarsky's run. which. tim is good there! but yeah, not really a whole lot of material to work with + very limited reading experience atm.

DAMIAN WAYNE

god, i love this kid. nature vs. nurture fascinates me, and so much of his story digs into that on top of trying to figure out who he is apart from all of that. i will say, i'm not a huge talia fan and by that i mean, i have no idea who she is "supposed" to be, like i have no frame of reference for that atm, so if you are a huge talia fan these recs might not hit for you because from what i've observed from her fans she is not well portrayed a whole lot since becoming his mother? i think one of the things that is normal is dick absolutely disliking her though, which cracks me up. there's this older batman story (batman #322-335) where bruce works with talia and dick goes running to selina and i was so entertained. what were we talking about? oh! damian!

preboot:

batman and robin 2009 #10-12. damian is struggling, with a lot of things. the fact that bruce might be alive, what that means for him and dick, and his mother's puppeteering. there's this line that kills me: "can't you just love me for who i am? not what you want me to be?" and the thing that gets me, is the use of who vs. what. because he could have said, "not who you want me to be", but he doesn't

reboot:

batman: shadow war. this is post-alfred's death, and honestly, most damian stuff post city of bane is pretty juicy, but there's this specific moment in shadow war: alpha #1 that had me speechless. just like 😧 i love bruce, but that man has some of the most chronic foot-in-mouth disease. oh but fair warning, for whatever reason they don't draw dami's mask connecting?? it's so- it drives me nuts.

JUST FOR FUN

these are just two issues that i enjoy for the brother content!

nightwing 1996 #25. dick and tim's relationship makes me ILL. *ahem*. this issue is mostly just super cute and fun, (there's like 0.2 seconds of angst when tim asks dick if he ever thinks about jason 😭) and i adore it sm. fun fact, it's actually one of the first comics i ever bought!

batman 2016 #16. unfortunately, tim is not here for this, but duke is! jason and damian's interactions in the background of bruce's Very Serious Speech are excellent. bruce is so dramatic and his kids are so unserious.

what i've most enjoyed

i've enjoyed the majority of what i've read, even titles/events i wasn't particularly looking forward to but had on my tbr for whichever character. i'm going to break down most enjoyed into two catergories, arcs that i loved top to bottom and then the guilty pleasures. this is not an exhaustive list, just what immediately came to mind.

top to bottom

bruce wayne: murderer?/fugitive. shocker, ik. but it's just, it's just so frickin good. i've said before, and i'll say it again, gotham war could NEVER. this right here is peak batfamily drama. the tension? the mystery? the angst? i knew nothing going into this okay, and truth be told, when i started it i was like "oh joy. another event." because i was just trying to read the 1996 nightwing run, but i'd committed to reading in full all the events it crossed over with. but i was invested so quickly. and like, i loved how the narrative supported the possibility that bruce was the murderer, because like, you know there's no way, but the more that comes out the more damning it is, and so you're like really dying to know what actually happened and i feel like the reveal was satisfying.

batman: city of bane. i'm going to cautiously put this here, because there might have been something i didn't like but i cannot recall it for the life of me right now. something about me is i love when the heroes lose. infinity war, empire strikes back? love. and ik bruce takes back gotham, but they lose alfred, okay, they lost. i also didn't expect to like this arc, i decided to read it because i wanted to know how alfred died. and first of all, i was shocked, even though i knew it was coming because i expected it to like happen towards the end. but nope. just *snap*. and then later when bruce is back in the manor and is confronted with alfred's body and his good-bye message? oh. my. god. i was bawling. despite my penchant for sad narratives, i don't tend to cry that much, but this got to me so bad. like i had to pause because i couldn't see. amazing.

red robin. his cowl is so ugly, but i really do love the run. i see a lot of discourse about it and also a lot of...interesting fanfic takes, so i don't really talk about it a lot here because it feels like most people are kind of tired of hearing about this run, which fair. i really enjoyed it as a sequel to his solo robin run. tbh, i almost put this in the guilty pleasure catergory, because there are a couple things i don't totally love, but like if the others are 10/10, this is 9/10.

young justice 1998. i love this comic so, so much. i don't even know what to say, i get so overwhelmed with joy when i think about this comic. nothing has hit the same way with this group since either, which is a crime. i need a title with this team so badly.

guilty pleasures

these are all runs/events i know some/most? people cannot stand and i totally get why, and i have problems with them, so i'm probably never going to rec them in good conscience but also like i can't lie and say i don't like them. these are not recs, okay? okay.

robin war. is it a hot mess? yes. but there is not a whole lot of canon content out there with all the boys working together, okay? so much of that event had me banging my head into a wall, but for me, there were a handful of pearls in there. i mean honestly, if i listed out pros and cons the cons list would be way longer but those pros are very precious to me.

batman and robin: eternal. very similar reasoning overall to robin war. plus cass finally came back!! i missed her. i love robin!dick and batman content, and the kids working together. this is probably my least favorite guilty pleasure though, okay, it's on thin ice.

grayson. listen, i love janin's art sm. i'm pretty neutral about spy stuff, so like i don't engage with it a whole lot. meaning, although i've heard it's tropey af in regards to the genre, i'm not familiar enough with the genre to be like trying to dig my eyeballs out with blunt spoons at the cliche of it all. the constant sexualization of dick got old super fast, and her name may have been helena but she wasn't- my list of dislikes is lengthy. but idk, i had fun with it. and imo it does have some genuinely great moments, i love dick in the desert with the baby, the ache i felt when dick wanted to come home and couldn't get ahold of bruce, issue #12 stabs me in the heart- the dick and dami reunion? stoppppp. i feel like this run and the ric grayson era are dick's most out there lmao

so yeah!! thank you so much for this ask, i had sm fun answering it. if you have any recs for me, feel free to drop them :)

[nevadas-night-time-novelist]

Auditor, Phobos, 2BDamned and Sanford with a reader that overworks themselves. Prioritizing work over mental and physical health, pushing themselves to their breaking point, skipping meals and only getting a few hours of sleep. I just need these four in particular to tell me to take care of myself and care about me argggh

Overworked reader

Audi, Phobos, Doc, Sanford

CW: bit of a mental spiral on San's end, ends well tho.

Burnouts a bitch man, don't wear yourself thin over shit, y'hear?

Auditor

"Are the chef's meals not to your liking?" You nearly jumped out of your seat when Auditor's ghostly whisper filled your ear. Casting your aching, tired eyes from your paperwork at the once hot meal, still arranged with care on the plate, completely untouched from the moment it left the kitchen.

"Oh, no. Of course not. They're good, don't worry." You offered him a weak smile. "I'll have it later, I just need to finish this up." Audi's eyes narrowed as you gestured meekly to your desk, piled high with reports, cloning records, casualty tallies, and other such boring admin work.

"It's cold." He grumbled, spinning your chair to face him, hands on his hips. "You're going to really hurt yourself and burn out if you keep pulling these awkward hours. Don't think I haven't noticed you slipping from our bed to come back to this. Did you forget how light a sleeper I am?"

Audi's stern demeanour dropped as your features fell, already feeling low because of how your body was struggling, now having your boss/lover add to that. "I just need to be able to keep up with you. What use am I really if I can't handle a fraction of the work you do?"

His hand rested under your chin, thumb delicately stroking your cheek. "You could never keep up with me, my flame, I was made to handle this. You're just a delicate mortal, you do more than enough without stressing yourself trying to level with me. Allow me to finish this later, mea vita, you are going to get a hot, fresh meal while I draw a bath for us, and after you will get the rest your body needs. That's an order, from your employer, understood?"

"Yes, but-"

He cut you off. "No 'ifs, ands, or buts,' You are going to hurt yourself, and I refuse to allow anyone to hurt you, even self inflicted pain. I, as your partner and boss, will clear this burden for you. When I asked for your best, I meant the best you can consistently handle, not this. You're not yourself, and I command you seek out that old self that I fell for and bring them back to me instantly."

Phobos

Being the director's lover had essentially no downsides, nobody spoke a bad word around you, people helped you far more than before, not to mention the adoration of the most powerful figure in the physical realm. However, that same man would often breathe down your neck, commanding you to stay by his side constantly.

Phobos relished in you, watching you, listening to you, being around you. He wished to be adored equally in return, however your work proved to be a distraction from him. He was... a tad obsessive, but how could he not be? He's a god, it was only right you'd devote yourself to him and him alone.

"Leave that alone will you? Your god requires your attention." A large clawed hand rested on your shoulder, the other pulling down his bandages from his mouth. "Your recent neglect of me is not going unnoticed, dear."

You rubbed your aching eyes, staring at a computer screen all day and most of the night irritated them. "I'm sorry Bo, but there's a lot of work that needs reviewing, I've got weeks of backlog to go through, and Christoff, Crackpot and Gonne have all submitted new reports today with pages and pages of intel to go through."

His hands wrapped around your middle, he lifted you up and took your place on the chair, resting you in his far more comfortable lap. "Bah, they're not worthy of your time. I'll command someone else to do it, the short fat one, whatever his name is. He enjoys paperwork and the like."

"Hofnarr is no doubt as swamped as I am." He took your face in one of his hands, his cracked and damaged lips pressing against your cheek.

"Someone else then, if it pleases you. Whatever it takes for you to spend time with me." You leaned into him, your back pressing against his chest, and he emitted a deep purr. "I am a god amongst men, dear, I don't beg for what I desire. I take it. And yet I allow you this honour. So please..."

Your stomach rumbled against his hand. "Harumph! Neglecting yourself as much as you've neglected me?! How dare you, enough is enough. I command you take care of yourself!" Phobos picked you up with ease, holding you level to his eye. To anyone else, he'd be holding them by their collar, or neck to meet his gaze, but with you, he was softer. A hand under your rump and the other on your back, supporting your weight comfortably.

"You are the lover of a god, think how pitiful it would look if I can't even take care of my equal? You stand above others, the right hand of my throne. Your duties have changed, lesser beings will take charge of them. Your only priorities are yourself and me, and the family we will create." Phobos snapped his fingers, and one of the guards at the door came forward.

"See to it that the chefs prepare your God's favourites, find someone to take their duties on and allow them to be truly indulged as they should be." Phobos looked back to you, his eye narrowing. "I will tear this world asunder for you, and build it up as you desire. I will give you anything your heart pines for, never again shall you be run ragged like this."

Phobos was self assured, a god of the highest order, surrounded by weaker, lesser beings. And yet here he was, begging at your altar. He wished you'd devote yourself equally to worshipping you as he did, and he would make damn sure that happened.

2BDamned

3 AM. Doc was in the kitchen, boiling some water over the stove. Hank has smashed the coffee maker earlier in the day, said he'd accidentally dropped the thing, yet couldn't explain the crowbar in his hands. Doc gritted his teeth, damn Wimbleton, making his hard job harder with their stupid thoughtless actions.

He had no doubt the fool had burned themselves on the machine and gone overboard against the poor helpless thing in revenge. Now here he stood, using the stove to make both his coffee and his snack. Instant noodles, his saving grace in the world. Easy to prepare, quick to eat, and filling.

With bleary, tired eyes, you wandered into the dim kitchen, hearing Doc grumbling to himself about 'Getting that moron to find another working machine or he'll have his spine inserted upside down next time.'

"Hey sweetheart." Yawning and setting your tablet down, you wrapped your arms around his midriff and leaned your face into his back. One hand pulled way from the stove, running down your arm before resting atop your hand, feeling the ring around your finger.

"You should be asleep, love." Doc murmured, his animosity towards Hank gone in the wind. You inhaled deeply, basking in his familiar scent.

"I could say the same to you, Kyle." He let out a soft 'Hm.', agreeing without agreeing. You were right, of course. "Debugging with Dei was going well, till he nodded off. San came by on one of his usual bathroom breaks and picked him up."

Doc poured the water into his noodle cup. "You want some coffee?" He took your favourite mug out of the cupboard.

"I thought you wanted me to sleep." You teased tiredly.

"You're my spouse. I know you well enough to know that's not gonna happen anytime soon, even if I would like it if you did." He tossed some powdered milk into the cups along with the beans. "We don't have any sugar left I'm afraid, or sweetener. It's become so scarce these days. Ration packages can't even supply a tiny packet anymore."

"I can get sugar anytime I've got you around." Doc smiled and turned off the hob, turning around to pull you into his arms. "Can I get some now?"

As far as you two were concerned, nothing else existed, everything except what was in both your arms was null and void. He tilted his head down slightly, lips catching yours softly. Butterflies fluttered in your tummy, they flared up every time your husband kissed you.

You rested your head on his chest, it was rare you two had a truly private moment together, as much as you both tried. Being enemies of the state was hard work, who'd have thought?

"You should really lay down dear." Your eyes fluttered open, and you looked up to him. You hadn't even realised you'd started dozing off in his arms.

"No, I've got work to do." You yawned, and Doc chuckled softly.

"You're really stubborn sometimes, you know that?" He picked up both coffees and his noodles. "Tell you what, grab your tablet and we can get cosy in bed together. Work can wait until later, I think we've overdue some private couple time."

Nestled in the crook of Doc's arm felt like the safest place in the world, even with coffee in your system, you couldn't help but fall asleep with him. Trust and love deep rooted, he was your sanctuary.

And damn it, he was going to get you into a healthier sleep routine.

Sanford

It'd been a couple weeks since you'd seen Ford, Doc had sent him off on recon work with Deimos and a splinter group from a faction allied with the SQ, they'd been on the other side of Nevada having heard whispering of something dangerous settling out there.

Two weeks of silence left you anxious, pacing around often, skipping meals and staying up into the early hours of the morning. Longing makes the heart sick, and a sick heart makes the body weak.

The only think you could do to keep your mind occupied was cleaning out the gun stash, checking over the stocked rounds repeatedly, despite the numbers never changing, cleaning already dirt and grime free steel.

A scrubbing brush in hand, you scraped at one of the many swords Hank had salvaged, violently jolting the bristles back and forth over either rust, or really crusted on blood just above the hilt.

Doc usually kept you in the loop of long jobs, sometimes you'd even be in walkie talkie range of your partner and could hear his voice. He could be hurt, he could be dead, you'd be none the wiser, and that was maddening.

Of course you weren't needy and dependant on him, that'd be too much, but just a sign he was okay would've been enough to give you peace of mind. It's the not knowing that drove you to dark places.

Bang!

You jumped in your seat as the front door slammed. "Baby, you here? I'm back." Dropping the blade, you got to you feet and rushed to the door.

"Sanford, you're okay?!" You leaped into his arms, and he caught you easily. Oh sweet security, your world had come home to you safely.

"Yeah babe," San leaned back slightly to get a good look at you, his loving gaze turning to concern. "uh, hope you don't mind me sayin' doll/stud, but you look like hell." His hands brushed over your hair. "...When did you last shower?"

Suddenly you felt rather embarrassed, it'd been a.... couple days at least. Probably about a week since you'd stopped properly taking care of yourself. Swapping meals out for multiple junk snacks, a fucked up sleeping schedule consisting of occasional naps but mostly anxious pacing and activity.

"Uhm..." That was an answer enough for him.

"Baby," Sanford rubbed his cheek, clearing off some dust from his face. "you need to take care of yourself." He sighed and took off his sunglasses. "Have you even been eating properly?"

You didn't meet his gaze. "Okay. Tell you what," He took off his dirty tank top and tossed it aside. "I'll pull out something from the freezer, shove it in the oven while we get a nice shower, and then we can eat and get some rest." Just being near him, hearing his melodic voice again was enough to bring you to a sense of normalcy.

Sanford was fine, he was alive, he was here.

"Things have just been a bit... off without you." You sighed, clinging to his frame, almost afraid if you let him go, he'd run off for another two weeks, or longer. "Sorry, it's just been a lot to deal with, not knowing where you were, if you were safe... It's been hard."

"I get it. I do, I really do," Sanford had his own experiences with deep depression, despite being the large stoic type, the horrors of war, what he and his friends had to do to get an advantage against everything haunted him. "fight, flight, freeze is a real thing, but you can't just shut down baby. You gotta keep fightin, keep yourself in good shape 'cause it's a scary world out there."

"I know. It's easier said than done though." Sanford pulled out a tray of his legendary frozen mac n cheese, you hadn't checked the freezer since he'd left, otherwise that would've been long gone. You didn't know how he did it, but it was godly each time he made it.

"I get that." He shoved the tray into the oven, flicking switches to heat up the frozen dish. "You gotta change how you think, baby." You watched him take off his bandanna, revealing his hair. Or lack thereof.

"You shaved your head?" Usually he'd grow out his hair, style it into long locs and keep them tied back and under his bandanna, but once in a blue moon he'd get bored of maintaining them, and shave it off to start again.

Sanford ran a hand over his scalp, feeling the small curls starting to reappear. "Yeah, easier than trying to keep it clean out there. Dusty as hell." His hands came to rest on your shoulders, turning you to the bathroom. "No bother, I've got your hair to care for now. I'mma spoil you rotten."

Years of caring for his baby siblings had taught the beefcake that just telling someone what to do usually didn't help, but doing it along side them helped solidify the action. He'd help you get cleaned up, get back to eating proper food and getting proper sleep.

He needed to fall into the routine too, sleeping rough in trucks was a pain in his back, and access to his comfy old bed would do him wonders to getting decent sleep again. A full belly and his favourite person in the entire world cuddling into his pecs definitely helped too.

Yes, he needed this just as much as you did.

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 13

Hello! I've cut my backlog literally in half with this move and while I hate seeing it that low (seven chapters I have waiting to be published) that is it's point after all.

After the nice meeting with Nancy, Robin brings the news to the boys who have a much different perspective on the issue.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

~

Robin was the last to arrive at Steve’s swanky apartment. Spence was on the grill frying up her tofu burger first so the meat wouldn’t touch hers. Simon and Shane were in a heated discussion about Brandon Sanderson and his contribution to the fantasy genre. Her best friend was coming out of the kitchen with all sorts of vegan options for her to chose from.

She went over and greeted him with a kiss on the cheek, taking a couple of the bowls from him so he could go back and get more.

Once everyone had gotten their food and settled in Robin told them about her meeting with Nancy and Chrissy.

“So she’s going to apologize to our Stevie?” Simon asked around a bite of his potato salad.

Robin nodded stabbing her salad with a fork. “That’s what she said. I’ll believe it when I see it, though.” She took a bite of her food.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “Though ti doesn’t surprise me she’s not with Jonathan anymore.”

Robin tilted her head with a frown. “What do you mean?”

He sighed and pushed his food away not feeling very hungry at the moment. “Both of us had been pretty vocal about the white picket fence and the two point five kids. I’ve changed my mind on that obviously,” he waved at all of them. “But Jonathan was always his mom and Will first, especially after Will’s kidnapping. He was never going to be ambitious in the way she wanted.”

“His little brother got kidnapped?” Shane asked in wide-eyed shock. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah, it was this whole thing,” Steve said, nodding and leaning back on his chair, propping his arm on the back. “But everyone knew that despite all his dreams of being a wild life photographer, he was always going to pick somewhere close to home.”

“So yeah,” Robin said rolling her eyes and cocking her head. “She said she as going to apologize, but I told her she had to that and a shit ton of grovelling before I would consider her to rep the band.”

Steve phone went off and he picked it up. He frowned at the number. He answered it with a confused, “Hello?”

“Steve? Steve Harrington?” the cool feminine voice asked.

“That’s me,” he replied sitting up in his seat. “How can I help you?”

“It’s Nancy Wheeler,” she said after a moment. “I got your number from the record label, I hope that’s okay.”

“Uh, yeah,” he said in surprise. “Yeah, that’s fine. Wow, the Nancy Wheeler. We were just talking about your meeting with Celeste earlier.”

“Oh,” Nancy said, “I was hoping to call after you had finished speaking with her about it. I can call later.”

Steve shook his head. “Nah, it’s fine. We were mostly done anyway. We were just having dinner.”

“Are you sure?” she pressed. “If you’re eating, I could call back later tonight or even at a convenient time tomorrow?”

Steve rolled his eyes and Shane covered his mouth to hide the bubble of laughter that sprang to his lips. “I said it was fine. How are you? I understand you’re a hot shot music agent now.”

He could almost feel her smile on the other end when she said, “Something like that.”

She cleared her throat. “I’m actually calling to see you wanted to meet me for lunch tomorrow, I wanted to catch up and well...really to apologize. We were both so young, but that was no reason to treat you the way I did.”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and put his elbow on the table to prop up the hand that was holding the phone. “You’re right, it wasn’t. But sure, I have a few days off, I could meet you for lunch tomorrow. What time and where?”

Nancy gave him the information and then rang off. Steve threw his phone on the table next to his plate and threw himself against the back of the chair in frustration.

“Well color me shocked,” Robin said with a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t think she would actually go for it. Chrissy and I were actually going to go through another list of agents to find one more suitable.”

Spence rubbed the bottom of his lip. “I’m not sure I like the idea of Steve going alone. Because she can say she apologized and that Steve was unreasonable and get us blacklisted for other agents.”

Steve felt an uneasy twist to his stomach at that. But not just that, he just didn’t trust her. He didn’t even know how he was talked into letting her into his life in the first place. She was all apologies now, but what about later? What about after she finds out Steve and Eddie are dating? Would that be a conflict of interest? What if she’s homophobic? What if she outs him before he has a chance to do it himself?

“Steve.”

He came to himself with a start. He looked around to see that everyone was looking at him in concern.

“Hey, hon,” Shane said, tilting his head down to look at Steve. “You doing alright? You don’t look so good.”

He didn’t see Robin but as he came further into himself he could feel the warmth of her hand as she rubbed circles around the pulse point on his wrist.

“There you are, dingus,” she said with a teasing lit to her tone. “You really had us worried for a minute. Where did you go?”

Steve let out a shuddering sigh and then another. “Sorry, I guess I just got caught in a spiral of bad thoughts.”

Robin’s other hand came up to squeeze his. “We don’t have to take her as our agent,” she murmured. “Hell don’t even have to go talk to her if you don’t want to. Or we can all go. Whatever makes you comfortable.”

“I don’t think she’s apologizing to Steve because she’s actually sorry,” Simon said with a sneer, “I think she’s doing it because she sees dollar signs. If she signs with us that is going to make her a shit ton of money and open her up to even bigger clients. Corroded Coffin was already established when they hired her but if we hit the stratosphere while she’s repping us she’ll be in a sweet spot to have the doors open for her.”

Robin stood up. “I guess what I’m hearing is that none of you trust her with Steve. She already knows who each of the band is, because she signed the NDA. But just say the word and I’ll walk away.”

Steve took a deep breath and let it out slow. “I want to hear her out. If she’s actually sincere. But you’re all right, I can’t go alone.”

“Take Robin,” Spence suggested. “She’ll expect you to bring your best friend.”

Shane shook his head. “I think he should take one of us. Maybe Simon, he’s the most ripped out of all of us. I want him protected.”

“I’m down,” Simon replied with a grin.

Robin shook her head, a sly grin on her face. “No, no. Take Eddie.”

“What the fuck?” Simon said rearing his head back, offended. “Why him and not me?”

She put her hands on her hips. “Because he encompasses everything we need. A good friend, who won’t let her walk all over him, like me. An imposing guy like Simon. He might not look like much out of the leathers, but in them and he looks like he could snap you in two. Also, he’s worked with her for a number of years and would be a better judge of if she’s being genuine.”

Spence and Shane shared a glance.

“Sorry, darling,” Shane said with a shrug, “I’m gonna have to go with Robbie on this one. Plus, she’s going to have to know about their relationship anyway.”

Spence chewed on his bottom lip fitfully.

“What’s on your mind, Spence?” Steve asked. “I smell your hair burning from here!”

Spence snorted, “Oh fuck off!” But a giggle escaped anyway.

“You got a problem with Eddie?” Robin asked tilting her head to the side as she regarded their drummer.

Spence waved his hands in front of him. “Oh hell no! It’s not about Eddie, it’s not really about Steve going to meet Nancy.”

Simon frowned and put an arm around him. “What’s going on then?”

“Steve is being too nice about this whole thing,” he murmured. “She didn’t just cheat. She didn’t just string him along. She knew going into the relationship what Steve wanted. Yeah, it’s bit unrealistic to imagine marrying your high school sweetheart. But there is a reason it’s so prevalent in all our media. Because it can happen, because it has happened before. And then her excuse was that Steve wasn’t ambitious enough? Why?”

Steve furrowed his brow as he thought about it. That was an unusual dig. He was a senior in high school, how much more ambitious did she want.

Robin shrugged and said to fill the silence, “I’m not sure because I didn’t become friends with Steve until after the whole mess, but my guess is that he wanted to take what the Europeans call a gap year. A year to just be a kid before jumping into college.”

“Something my parents weren’t fond of either, if I’m honest,” Steve scoffed.

Shane waved his hand toward Steve to indicate that was most likely the cause. “And there it is. It’s so insane everyone expecting to kids to go right into school without taking the time to figure out what you want to do with your life. Hell, you have to apply in January. That’s half way through your senior year. You’re supposed to know what you want in life before you even finish high school? That’s fucked up on all levels.” Through the whole rant, he gestured wildly with his hands.

“I didn’t get to into college my first try,” she said, “Because my parents made too much for me to get assistance but not enough for them to pay for it themselves. And then I met you guys and the rest is history.”

There were nods all around.

“It is up to Stevie to forgive her,” Simon said with a grimace. “But some part of me doesn’t want him to.”

Steve straightened up in his chair. “Why not?” He cocked his head to side, looking like a confused puppy dog.

Simon huffed out a sigh and squirmed in his chair, looking down at his food. He poked at the top of his hamburger bun, picking at the sesame seeds.

“You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your ego for us to get a good agent.”

The silence that followed filled the air with a thick sinking feeling.

Steve straightened his spine. “I’m not the weak-willed, touch-starved kid she remembers. I have three of the best mates a guy could ask for, a platonic soulmate, and a boyfriend that loves me for me. If she thinks she can swan into my life and walk all over me like she did before, she has another think coming. I’ll meet up with her and take Eddie. But make it absolutely clear, I have everyone’s backing on this. If I walk away, we all walk away.”

There was still some grumbling, but it was ultimately it was up to Steve. He made the necessary calls and then they settled down to finish their dinner.

Slowly the mood improved as the night went on, but it never did reach the heights of a laid back night with friends.

~

Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21

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[stars-and-bards]

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