#there's a whole bunch of shit going on in our personal life and stuff just keeps piling up and we don't get a break from any of it

[thethingything]

our current dilema is that the pain from our wisdom tooth keeps getting so bad we have to take pain meds (like it keeps hitting an 8/10 for several hours at a time. we can't not take pain meds) but the only pain meds that touch it have a warning on them saying not to take them for more than 3 days in a row, and we have at least another month of dealing with this, so I don't really know what to do.

the warning is because they're opioids and can cause addiction but I don't actually know how bad the risk is because everything seems to treat it like opioids are the worst thing ever and should be avoided at all costs and you'll get addicted if you so much as glance at them.

either way, my options are to either keep taking them and just accept that risk, or deal with being in so much pain I can't function. even with taking the pain meds I can tell we're a lot more irritable and short tempered and probably just insufferable to be around honestly and I hate the fact that pain causes this, but once again we've got to deal with this for over a month and we've also got to deal with the anxiety over what the treatment for it is going to actually involve.

I've had to deal with medical trauma stuff I didn't even know about until like yesterday when Lucy suggested it might be part of why I feel so shit, and I've had multiple panic attacks per day and constantly feel way more anxious than usual and I get the feeling we're just gonnaa have to put up with this for the next month and I don't know how the fuck I'm meant to cope with any of this

[gay-dorito-dust]

could you do asexual reader x Jason Todd headcanons?

I know this hdc won’t resonate for most in the ace community, cuz it’s a spectrum, but I hopes it at least resonates with some, even if it’s one person. That’s more enough for me. (Also sorry for the shit writing as usual)

Jason doesn’t mind that you’re asexual. You were still you at the end of the day, so he doesn’t understand why some people tend to make a big deal out of it.

It’s not like you being asexual was hurting anyone but he guessed that some people just harbour vast amounts of hate for things they don’t/refuse to understand bc they’ve been conditioned into thinking that it’s a bad thing.

Others are just cunts that Jason gladly beats the piss out of in your honour. (Acephobes plz die disrespectfully thanks)

He will not tolerate any sort of disrespect towards you and needless to say having a six foot something man who’s built like an absolute tank is enough to silence those types of people rather quickly.

He’s more then willing to do this for anyone that you knew who was ace, aro, or was in the LGBTQIA community in general, that he becomes a someone that a lot of them could come to when in need of help, or was just in need of a safe space.

He’s unbothered by it because as long as he’s helping someone in need, he’s more than willing to offer his shoulder for them to cry on.

(I just like the idea of Jason being a protector of LGBTQIA youths.)

After all he once took joy in beating the absolute piss out of a biphobe for Tim. Sure he may not have a great relationship with his siblings, but he’s not one to ignore when they’re being treated like shit for being who they were.

He respects your boundaries and will always ask whether or not it was okay for him to kiss you, to which you’d always have to tell him that it was more then okay for him to kiss you.

He understands that asexuality was a spectrum and would ask which part of the spectrum you were apart of, and acts in accordance to make sure that you’re more than comfortable in your relationship.

He’s always finding ways to constantly learn about asexuality and more. He’s even got a whole bookshelf dedicated to LGBTQIA history because he wants to better himself and do right by you and other people who look up to him to protect them. He takes that shit seriously.

He just loves you very much and wants you to feel as though you could tell him anything that’s bothering you and he’ll gladly bring you its head if you’d like just to prove it.

If you are okay with kisses and the like, be prepared to be swarmed by it at every possible opportunity with this teddy bear, for he will smother your face in kisses as he holds you against him, smiling upon hearing you laugh and poor attempts in pushing him away. It’s a highlight of his day because when you’re happy, he’s happy.

You don’t like sex? That’s okay! He’ll make you have Junk food dates with him where you stuff your faces either pizza with stuffed crust (you can eat it in reverse) and garlic bread and watch shitty movies as you cuddle on the couch.

You: you don’t think I’m broken?

Jason; no. Why, who’s told you that you were broken because it’s a bunch of bullshit. You’re the most important person in my life and I’d do just about anything for you, no matter how big or small it may seem because at the end of the day I want to see you happy. So listen to me sweetheart and listen good, you are not broken. You are perfection incarnate in my eyes, you are everything I could’ve hoped to have by my side for you’ve never judged me, so I don’t see why I should judge you for being your truest self. Thats a bit hypocritical don’t you think?

Jason: So don’t ever think you’re broken when you’re far from it, you are whole and you are more than enough. I don’t care if we have sex on occasion or not at all, your happiness is all I care about. I want you to be happy for the rest of our lives together because now I’ve got you I’m not letting you go. Ever. I couldn’t care less about anything else but when it concerns you, I’d move mountains to make things better for you. I love you chipmunk, please don’t ever feel like you’re broken when you’re so much more than that, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it.

[banamine-bananime]

AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?

I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.

Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.

aw shit derailed on a tangent again

recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?

S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)

So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.

Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.

Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.

So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄

we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".

Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.

its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about

Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like

_____

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:

okay but we're right

[inamagicalhallucination]

pm dazai time traveling and meeting the ada and them being freaked out by him and him scaring them and thinking theyre all idiots for trusting him and it all being angsty and shit is a very interesting take

but personally, i think if pm dazai ever time traveled to meet the ada, they would, without much thought, say or do something that shows that they genuinely like him and he would probably just pass out because he cant handle genuine positive emotions directed at him (see bsd wan)

kunikida: here have this drink so you don’t pass out and die from dehydration you bastard

pm dazai: ... why did you get me this one?

kunikida: it’s ur favorite?????

pm dazai: oh *passes out*

/

pm dazai: so... you all think im ur friend

kenji: you are our friend !! we do all sorts of fun stuff together !! *thinking about all the times dazai helped him bring a cow into the office*

pm dazai: huh *internally screaming*

/

pm dazai: *vaguely shifts*

yosano: oh are your bandages itchy? i have some spare if you wanna go and change them?

pm dazai: *dies but not in the way he wants to*

/

pm dazai: im a demon; human emotions don’t mean much to me

ranpo: i’ve seen you cry over studio ghibli films, you’re as human as they get

pm dazai: oh

/

pm dazai: you just accepted me into your agency?

fukuzawa, patting his head: of course 

pm dazai: *just fucking drops to the ground*

/

pm dazai:

Jun'ichiro: oh hey, here, naomi and i thought you might be bored so we set up a bunch of movies to watch or games for you to play :)

pm dazai, on the verge of passing out, lightheaded: wh-what

naomi: yeah! we picked all the ones we thought you’d like :))

pm dazai: *falling to the ground*

/

kyoka: here

pm dazai, taking the crepe: what’s this

kyoka: i went to get some and thought you’d enjoy this flavor.

pm dazai: *chokes and nods*

/

pm dazai: why do you like me so much

atsushi: there’s lots of reasons to like you mr. dazai! maybe it’s because you always take care of me. maybe it’s because you’re funny. maybe it’s because you were the first human i ever met. it’s hard to pinpoint

pm dazai: *cries and passes out*

//

bonus:

pm dazai, staring at the grave in front of him:

atsushi: i didn’t know your friend, mr. dazai, but i think he would’ve been very proud over how much you’ve tried, and how much you’ve succeeded in being a good person

pm dazai: im not a good person. even if future me has deluded you all to think-

atsushi: i think mr. dazai is a really good person. he may have done bad things before, but i think putting in the effort to change and be better is amazing. you help people through the agency, and you prove you’re a good person. maybe you’re not perfect, but we all love you because you’re you mr dazai :)

//

i didn’t include haruno or katai because i was running out of brain thoughts sorry

/

anyway since atsushi was horrifically abused his entire life, i thought it’d be interesting to have him call dazai the first human he met, because he’d be the first kind and real person he’d have met - since the orphanage was filled with people who tormented him, they’re registered in his head for the inhumane treatment they put him through if that all makes sense

anyway

i made a few people mention dazai being human since he has that whole thing of thinking he’s not

yeah anyway these are just my two cents feel free to add on or comment

[gffa]

I saw your post defending the way Jedi adopt the children/accept them into their culture, and I absolutely loved it! It was so well-informed, and you are right: It is all there in the original content!

I find it very ironic that many people spew these lies about the Jedi when that’s exactly what the Empire did. Iirc, this argument of Jedi being “kidnappers” was actually fueled by Emperor Palpatine and the Empire in their campaign against the Jedi. They wanted to discredit them and make the people turn against them so that they could erase them all more easily. So I find it very ironic that these lies are now being upheld by some people as the truth. (Really, have people forgotten the Empire was created bases on the Nazi’s and their own racist strategies?)

You are not inmune to the Empire’s propaganda.

Please correct me if I’m wrong. I’m not as good at pulling examples and proof from all the SW content as you are.

Hi! Thank you for the very sweet ask! Navigating stuff in fandom like this can be difficult at times, because there has to be room for compassion and tolerance for disagreement, like it's fine if people disagree with my views, I'm not your mom, I'm not telling you want to do or say, especially since this is fiction, these are made up space stories. But there also has to be room to understand that sometimes our commentary on fictional stories are echoes of reflection of real world attitudes--we can't just go around spewing racist, sexist, homophobic commentary and be like, "It's just fiction, you can't get upset!" There's no easy line for any of this, no single hard set in stone rule for when it's truly just fiction and when it's an echo of a real world attitude, especially in Star Wars, which often draws influence from a lot of non-Western sources and traditional Western sources. (My general rule of thumb is: I think it's fair to criticize those things through the influences they have, but if your criticism is then ended with, "So that's why we shouldn't have or acknowledge any Buddhism/Black people/queer people/women in Star Wars!" then fuck right on off with that.) And I also understand a lot of the anti-Jedi attitudes (or at least what I've personally experienced of them) because I've talked a bunch of times about how I started out as pretty Jedi-critical myself! I did the whole, "They had grown stagnant and refused to evolve with the galaxy, so they needed to be wiped out." thing because nobody had framed it explicitly as what it was: a genocide. It wasn't until a friend and I were talking and they mentioned that lens of it that it just sort of crashed down on me, oh, that's literally what it was and genocide is never justifiable. I did the whole, "The Jedi failed Anakin and taught him to repress his emotions." thing as well, because I saw it all over the place in fandom and just automatically folded it into my view, until I went back and actually watched Lucas' movies and Lucas' animation (first six movies + first six seasons of TCW) and read his interviews, which blew me onto my ass when I saw Obi-Wan being supportive of Anakin, when I saw Anakin not listening to the advice he was given, when I saw that Jedi were expressing emotion all over the place, when I saw they were respecting other Force traditions in the galaxy. I can't speak to why so many people think badly of the Jedi, there's probably a thousand reasons and I'm only vaguely aware of like half of them, but I do think that it's often unpopular to promote the idea of emotional regulation already being achieved, instead of something to be struggled with. I think we're all primed by a lot of mainstream media saying that an explosion of anger is what will save the day. I think there's so much anger in the world today that we're all angry and being told to let go of it feels really insulting at times. (But, as someone who has lost years of my life when I was younger to anger, I gotta say, I am so much better off having let go of as much of that shit as I can. It was poison in my veins, carrying that anger around. I lost so many friendships and opportunities and just time to being miserably mad about stuff.)

I'm getting off topic of the kidnapping aspect about the Jedi, but a lot of it starts to swirl together in what I've experienced (especially people who try to put this stuff on my posts--thankfully, that's died down/I block the people who won't respect boundaries) and so I kind of bounce from one aspect of it to another.

I do think it's good to talk about these things--both from "it's fun to analyze the content of the story on a meta level" perspective and "here's how this echoes into and from the real world" perspective, like I enjoy saying, okay, here's what's actually said in the movies/TCW, but also I think talking about how the Jedi are Buddhist influenced is important because that means they're going to have values that are meant to be reflected in that and Western fandom has a really big problem of being derisive about non-Western influences or automatically saying they're wrong. (I come from anime/manga fandoms, let me tell you, it's a big problem.)

And, yeah, in a way where it's really awful, but I think one of the most well-done things Disney's Star Wars has done is that it's really focused on showing that the Empire was a fascist one and the propaganda they used about the Jedi are ones that are super relevant to the conversation.

[rainswhenyourehere]

also. if someone wants to help. (also btw hibi lore like. the most important part methinks)

how to "keep it casual" with. lets say hypothetically. if you came to a new school in seventh grade. and met a nice guy during swedish class and kinda connected with him immediately and. then you guys are like. best friends in your opinion and you guys hang out allll the time and you kind of have the biggest crush on him and. lets say. like. you love him so fucking much its borderline unhealthy? and like. then he starts sending you flirtatious gifs and texting you so. because youre in love. you send flirtatious gifs back and you guys basically call each other love and sweetheart and everything and !! you guys hold hands and he lets you listen to his music and gives you a plastic ring to match his and gives you gifts and treats and !! holds your hand btw !!!! and nearly asks you to kiss him during a truth or dare game like. implies it strongly . so then you !! decide to ask him hey. what are we. and he goes idk and you guys hve a littl etalk because yay communication !!!!! and hes like. so. i like you . like. thats out there now okay. i like you but i also like this other guy so um. idk so!! because youre in love and would wait like fifty million lifetimes you say okay ill wait for you its okay but then the romantic interactions disappear and its like . because you guys are in a trio right? theres this other guy too. so he starts maybe confiding in the other guy a littl enad you should not feel envious he can do whatever he wants its his life but . you do but youj also dont say anything so like. a year or smth passes idk and he goes. yknow what. tbh. i dont rly like you anymofre?? like i like this other guyu and i think ill always like him and ur kinda heartbroken and shit but you say its fine i was kinda over you anyways. so . that happnes and you stil l love him so fucking much but . you dont say it because youre happy he moved on and . youre probs not worth it anyways its fine and then a ruond a month later while ur eating at lunch hes like. haha can you go away for a while i want to talk abt stuff with person 3 in our trio and youre like. okay sure !!! and then you come back nd . find out he s in love or has a crush or wever on another guy. so . apparently he wouldnt love hte other guy forever but it doesnt rleally matter at least it shouldnt so you drop it its fine . enter grade eight your friend group grows and . theres these classes where you can pick and not everyone goes to the same on e right ??? so . the rest of your friend group goes to the musci class and you go to the . cooking class . which you enjoy btw!!! like!! a lot!!!! and you attend it with another classmate of ur s and boooom youre friends. wow . hooray like. currently youre probably closest to them which is craaaaazy liek. wow. but !! bcs u attned a diff class you get shut out of alll the fun things they do and you dont really feel like you belong and you also kinda feel dsicarded and not important and invisible because !!!! the guy youre in love with yes still kinda hate that !! treats you like air. so. then you ask him whats wrong right before you go on a month long trip on summer vacation without internet access. and when youj come back you find the messag eunread and !! you stressed abt this the whole summer btw. smth smth i dont even want you back i js want to know if ruining my sparkling summer was the goal /lyr ANYWYS. you . jask abt him awgain. on discord and he says that hes changed as a person and his interests have changed and this is fine btw!!! like. you totally understand yep. and then he says that youve beeen like . kinda really annoying recently and sometimes he feels like killing himself while hanging out with you so. that s nice and also !! not being with you has made his mental state like. get better a bunch so "thats just grand".

so. mmm. also by the way this is like. summer vacation after eight grade yeah?? well. just before the seventh grade summer vacation person 3 in ur trio asked you out. and you kinda dated them. even though you ddint really have feeling because they re nice the y treat you well and you had to get over him but then around like . a year later you cant really take it anymore and its not person 3s fault at all theyve been perfetct alllll around like. the most amazing human being ever but. you just cant . you keep choosing him over them and you can see its hurting them and this isnt working nahyways so . a round a yaer later you tell them hey. not your fault i was seeking approval and shit and im like. the jerk ehre but like. thank ou so much and its a whole essay and they go okay its fine but. now youve broken someones heart so . yay you and youre still not over him so . wowww good job.

back to eight grade summer vacation?? you dont really text anyone else except from cooking class friend and person 3 and you dont want to text in the group chat because hes the most active one and you really dont want to intrude his space and . now 9th grade is statrgint in 8 hours and you just saw a message from him . saying asking you to "keep it casual" so the teachers dont come after you guys or something. so . somoene tell me how to keep it casual?? like. do you just stand next to the other guysf rom the friend group?? are you . suposeced to interact with them ???? can you still eat w the guys?????? oh and . 9 th grad eis the most inmportant year academically so i also have to get good grades from everything and actuallly focus on studies so . theres that.

tut on how to keep it casual pls okay love u guys <3

[sporkberries]

Tim Drake and Red robin

 Aka the whole identity problem.

So there’s a lot of discussion over Tim and what identity he is going to take up- this is by no means recent, it's been going on for over a decade. So for a lot of people who are newer to comics I want to explain why Red Robin isn’t really an option as a permanent identity for Tim, and what Red Robin means to Tim personally

So first off, for expositions sake, Tim didn’t create Red Robin. The costume nor the identity.  It originated in the Kingdom Come Storyline and belonged to Dick Grayson

(Dick Grayson, Earth-22) Honestly i don’t want to get into the can of worms of Kingdom Come and it’s not that important to my point so just know this is where Red Robin comes from.

Okay now the first appearance of Red Robin in Main Continuity was in Countdown to Final Crisis where the mantle was taken by * drum roll*

Countdown #14 Jason Todd!! This is also not very important because Jason mainly does multiverse shenanigans that isnt important to my overall point. I just find it very funny that Jason was Red Robin before Tim. Also he kills an alternate universe version of the joker- Good for him!

Now into the stuff that actually affects Tim and why he chooses to don the Red Robin Mantle in the first place-towards the end of Tim’s robin run. Where we see Red Robin stalking Tim around Gotham.

Red Robin in Robin(1993) #177 This Red Robin ends up being Ulysses Armstrong( a gang leader and recurring baddie from Tim’s Robin run) and to say the least he does some not very nice things!! Said things including luring Tim into a warehouse and blowing him up(what is up with robins and warehouses seriously?) anyways looking good tim!

Robin(1993) #181

After this injury Tim wears the Red Robin cowl to hide/protect his identity while he takes care of Ulysses. And in the ensuing fight a bunch of children get blow up- it’s great and definitely good for our protagonists declining mental health, Now for a bit more exposition after this incident Tim helps break Jason out of prison who then dons a cringe batman suit and kills a shit ton of people- the infamous Battle For The Cowl storylines ensues. With Dick Grayson taking the mantle of Batman and Damian Wayne being gifted the Robin mantle. Though Dick wasn’t wrong to do this(which is a whole other thing to argue about) it upset Tim and he needed a new costume to wear on his quest to bring Bruce back. He chooses Red Robin, as it’s an identity he considers dirty and disconnected from both his previous titles and the rest of his family.

Red Robin(2009) #1

Tim is at a VERY dark place in his life during the Red Robin run. A lot of fanon characterizes Tim as pretty depressed and sad and almost all of that stems from this period of time exclusively- and it makes sense. Tim underwent a series of very serious and brutal losses under a pretty short period of time( Steph[briefly],his dad, Conner, Bart, and Bruce all dying). And though pretty much everyone was right to doubt him about the whole Bruce being alive thing that rejection definitely didn’t help things. For Tim Red Robin offers a sort of outlet he doesn’t have to be Tim he doesn’t have to necessarily be a good person he just needs to do what needs to be done( I’d argue for the beginning of Red Robin that’s his main philosophy)

Red Robin(2009) #2

Red Robin(2009) #4

In Adventure Comics(2009) #3 Tim reunites with Conner while he’s in Paris, where in Conner says this

Conner knows Tim better than anyone, keep that word Punishment in mind. As it comes back up again in** Red Robin(2009) #9**

And okay this being brought up again is a joke but i still think its true. Tim IS punishing himself. He hates he situation he’s in he hates that he can’t save anyone he hates that he keeps making the wrong decisions(having the children be near the bombs, helping Jason get out of prison, and basically everything that’s happened in Red Robin as well) Tim IS a good person and he has a very strong moral compass- so betraying any aspect of his conscience- pretending to be someone he’s not HURTS him.

At the end of Red Robin(2009) Tim tries to kill Captain Boomerang, the man who killed his father( see: identity crisis) , or he very nearly tries to anyways. He wants to kill him, HE IS ABOUT TO KILL HIM. but he doesn’t.

Red Robin(2009) #26

Tim is at a crossroads. He’s hurting but he still WANTS to be good. He ends up doing the right thing but is that what Tim wants? Tim is changing he’s not Robin anymore he’s becoming his own person his own individual.

So you may ask, what happens after this? Does Tim figure out who he wants to be? Does he make a decision? HAHA silly you!! NO!! Dc resets the whole universe, retcons Tim’s backstory erases all his character development then un-retcons his backstory etc etc leaving Tim Drake in character limbo for essentially a DECADE.

So all this backstory withstanding why do I think Red Robin is a bad choice for Tim as an identity(discounting the fact he’s not even RR anymore but just robin which is stupid and also dumb) ? Well Red Robin was never MEANT to be permanent- Red Robin was a temporary means to end, a tool to get to his destination. I see Red Robin as a chrysalis of sorts. Tim as Robin was the caterpillar, red robin was the chrysalis and his next identity would be who he becomes, or rather who he DECIDES to be. Having Red Robin as Tim’s main identity is a disservice to his character but also doesn’t allow him to complete his arc. Tim doesn’t have an identity he chose and wanted for himself; he hasn't even moved on from ROBIN. In order to develop as a character Tim NEEDS to discover an identity for himself, abandoning the robin mantle entirely.

I think there is hope, a lot of Tim’s content since and including Urban Legends have been largely about him discovering himself and searching for his identity. Let’s just hope DC actually follows through.

[faramirsonofgondor]

I’ve seen a few posts about this already but it’s so wild to me that in S1 like right off the bat Dean is like “Sam, our dad is missing, he could be hurt or dead or something!!! We need to find him and save him. You’re my only hope.” and Sam is like “Dean we’re all barely holding onto our sanity by a thread. Dad is sending us on a wild goose chase and he’s not missing, he’s just a deadbeat.” and Dean is just like “yea but you don’t know him like I do. We need to do this for him.” and then they make up for like 2 days and go kill a monster and one or both of them gets injured and almost dies and then they do the exact same thing all over again while John is in the background munching on popcorn and sipping martinis while watching them breakdown and lose hope and almost die. And then when he finally shows up he hugs them and he’s like “welp I gotta go die now boys, good luck with figuring all this shit out!!” and then when they get upset he’s like “well yea I sent you out on a bunch of dangerous missions where you almost got killed and stuff and sure I may have ignored you when Dean was dying and I used him as bait but this time it’s personal cause this monster killed your mom so I can’t let you come with me lol.” and then he gets possessed by said monster and Dean is like “You’re not my dad!! My dad would NEVER tell me he’s proud of me!!” and then after the monster leaves his body they all get into a fucking car crash and when Dean is dying, again, he’s just like “hold up I have an idea” and hits up the monster that possessed him and killed his wife and almost killed all of them. And while Sam is screaming at him in the background to be their dad he’s all like “yo how about I give you my soul and the only we have that can defeat you in exchange for you saving Dean??” and the demon is all like “Ok bet.” And then Dean finally wakes up from his coma and his dad is like “Hey remember that time I forced you to parent Sam for your whole life and barely comforted you and let you comfort me instead. Well, that’s really my bad bro. Anyways, you either need to save your brother or kill him so bye.” And then he leaves and fucking dies. And then like 2 days later Sam is just like “yea maybe dad wasn’t that bad. I kind of miss him ngl.” and Dean just beats the shit out of the car that he cherishes.

And then somehow some of the writers still want to try to make John seem like a good father???

[z-h-i-e]

The Reality of Responding to Comments Left on Fanfiction

Or, a rebuttal to a Tumblr post I was going to comment on, then thought, why not just start a whole new post?

So I happened upon a post recently which compared not replying to comments to not holding open a door for someone.

Firstly, I want to point out, I'm in the midwest of the US of A. Even during the middle of covid, when people were very careful about touching things, we are so trained to open doors, we were still doing it. Hell, we try to hold open doors for each other when it's an automatic door.

Commenting back to comments, though. In theory, sure, very nice to do. In practice, no. That's the short answer; buckle up for the long one.

It's February of 2020. I'm already starting to suspect shit in the world is going down soon--while everyone else is watching the impeachment here like it's the next big reality TV series, I'm stocking up on canned goods, cereal, and cheese. (Yeah. Cheese. I'm from fucking Wisconsin. I had a mini fridge just for cheese. Judge me. I can take it.)

Once a month, during those 'pre-pandemic' days, I would take one long lunch hour -- I would use comp time, I'd drive out to Panera, I'd sit in the area upon which I based part of Salgant's house, and I'd answer comments. It was a happier time. I had time to do it. It was nice to go through all the interesting things people noticed or the bits they liked. Hell, I even like a good flame--keeps me warm, lets me roast a few marshmallows, and then I go fucking Feanor in Formenos on them. But I digress.

That was the last time I had a chance to do that. Because then, and sorry, forgive me if this is new information, but there was a fucking worldwide plague that occurred. And during that catastrophic world event, not all of us recovered to a point where we're back to normal yet. I don't know about the rest of you, but wondering each day if I'd ever get to hug my parents while they were still alive? Kind of stressful. See, my father has major medical issues (kidney failure and on dialysis, cancer survivor three times over, osteoporosis, diabetes, diverticulitis, and sleep apnea), and my mother has a few doozies, too (COPD, macular degeneration, also a cancer survivor, and a whole fucking messed up thing with her spine). With all the concerns of previously mentioned plague, the doctors at the time advised that no one else was to go into their house until there were viable covid vaccines. I would come over, drop off groceries and medications on their porch, close the door and call on my phone, then air hug from the street thirty feet away.

I remember all the stuff I did to try to keep my brain happy. I watched my way through 'If Google was a Person' and 'Epic Rap Battles of History', over and over. I found museums who had 360 views to pretend I was on field trips, and I found a bunch of virtual rollercoasters to 'ride' on. And I listened to Hamilton so many times if it was vinyl I'd have worn a hole through it.

I had coworkers who died from covid. People who seemed generally okay, people I would not have thought would be hit so hard by it. We lost several pets since 2020--two dogs, two cats, and a rabbit. In the case of our beloved Trotter, who went through more surgical procedures than I can recall, I would have to hand him off to a technician, then sit in the car for three or four hours, wondering if he would be okay, if he would feel better afterwards, if he would wake up after each procedure, if his already damaged heart could take another.

I had my share of medical bullshit throughout the past nearly five years. The big 'well this is bullshit' of them all is that I had a pretty good life plan going, along with 'we all going to do all the things to try to make a smol human in the 2020/2021 range' and, well, let me tell you folks, as soon as pandemic got volleyed around, that was a big nope. That nope was followed by so many additional 'did my warranty expire?' moments, but I have to say, the highlights of the instant replay real would be the intercostal muscle tear which has still not healed completely correctly, so it is physically painful to push a grocery cart around in a store for more than thirty seconds, the whole episode when my pancreas decided to stop working for a hot minute but it was covid city in the hospitals so I was sent home with meds and a 'best of luck' sort of thing, and the secondary infection when I did eventually catch covid despite so many precautions (funny enough, from my father when we finally had the first in-person Christmas again in 2022--so, while the concern was I could end up giving it to him, he ended up giving it to me).

But the most frustrating, the most enduring, has been my failing vision. When I was 8, and at a public school for the first time, they did vision screenings, and realized 'wow, this one does not see well'. Now, in theory, someone should have figured that out sooner -- I had jabbed myself in the eye no less than three times (possibly more) that I remember before the age of five from accidentally getting things too close to my face. So glasses and I have been pretty tight now for nearly four decades. But it was during the pandemic that I started to think I must have been dealing with some strain from computers or needed a new prescription or something. Words were far more difficult to read. I would sometimes stare at pages in books or on the screen and just see...nothing, really. (Kind of not helpful in my profession.)

I went years with terrible distance vision, but great vision up close. Now that had failed, too. But it wasn't just that. At least with distances, I could still generally see things. Up close--sometimes yes, sometimes no. So I kept getting tested and retested and asked questions and went to different doctors and described things--

--and finally, sometimes, you find someone who listens, and wants to figure it out, and does. And then you have an answer. But answers don't always mean solutions. And when I asked how we fix it, I got an answer, but not a solution.

The answer is, I can't.

And to the follow up, will it get worse, that answer is, maybe.

But it won't get better.

So as I'm still processing this, having days where I want to write but can't even see the words, I think about all of the stories I still don't have posted on AO3. I think of things on floppy disks--not just the hard floppy disks, fucking floppity floppy disks, where the only backup is on dot matrix printer paper--and I think about things that are handwritten, and stories on old flashdrives, and the words from the musical that got me through the pandemic play through my mind.

Why do you write like you're running out of time?

Because.

I am.

I'm not the biggest fan of mortality--I fucking write about elves, friends. Elves, and more elves, and after that, a few additional elves, just in case. I've rooted myself in Valinor, for the most part, over the last few years.

I am very aware that I am more likely than not on the downward slope of life's journey at this point. For anyone who has ever been sledding in the midwest during winter, you know you go way faster on that downward slope.

So I've got some pretty solid goals in mind. I have stories I need to finish. I've got art and other things I want to make. I have items I want transferred to a place that stands a decent chance of still being around when I'm not, or when I'm not able to do the moving of things anymore, from personal websites I have. I completed one really big accomplishment over the summer--I sat down and wrote my scientific paper on the Silmarils. I really wanted to get that written, and I'm very happy I did.

I've lost too many fandom friends over the past five years. People I'd known for decades, people I knew by their legal names, people I'd exchanged mail with and in some cases met in person.

So, I'd like to go back to the Panera days of having a sammich and one of those salads that are practically dessert because it's more than half fruit and take a few hours each month to answer comments. Trust me, there are no awards for four digit unanswered comment boxes. If there were, I'd have seen one by now. Every comment is immensely appreciated. They make me think about things, and reconsider things, and sometimes sneak in a character or two based on what someone says.

And I'm hoping that someday, maybe when I'm retired or at a point when I'm able to get down to working just one job or something, I'll be able to get back to the older comments I haven't answered yet. But right now, I've got a few other higher priorities in life.

Today was my father's 69th birthday. I suppose I could have answered a few comments today, but instead, after working a ten hour shift, I went to hang out with my dad--which is basically just us sitting and talking, but it's amazing because I spent so many sleepless nights over the past few years wondering if he and my mom would make it through the worst of the pandemic.

I regret nothing.

I hope that for now, you can take my word on the door opening. In fact, this morning when I got to work, I got the door for someone, then I noticed a moth on the ground that looked a bit dazed like it had just gotten itself out of a spider web, so I bent down and I managed to get it onto my finger so that no one stepped on it, then I walked back down to where there are plants and grass and deposited the moth (who at first wanted to crawl about on me, which I allowed for a moment before getting it safely onto a leaf) then came back up again, saw to a large cricket so that no one stepped on it either, and finally got in. Please accept for now the sharing of stories as the holding of the door the first time; I'll try to get it for you again if I can later on, when I'm on my way out--but I have some business to finish inside first.

[stickthisbig]

Sooo the biggest positive news in my life right now: I came out as nonbinary at work!

I had a whole thing here but it got really personally identifiable. Read more instead.

Anyway the upshot is that while some people in my organization have known since like 2019, my supervisor and our boss found out (with my consent) I guess about 6 months ago? And I finally couldn't take it anymore, so I ended up coming out to my boss. I've been really nervous about it and not really knowing how things would go, because I live in a very conservative area and my boss, even though he is very liberal, is a very religious person.

But we were at an event, and the only other openly non-binary person in our organization referred to me as they, and I had this moment of, oh I could have this all the time, and it wouldn't feel like a knife was being stuck in my ear all day.

So I came out! My boss was super supportive, and he would have been totally behind me if I had wanted to make an announcement or put my pronouns in my email signature or whatever. Honestly I felt really valued and really respected? And I'm really grateful that this is what happened.

So here are my two main takeaways:

1. I was going to say that I am very lucky that this is what happened, and I am very lucky. I live in a very conservative area, and many employers, including other organizations like mine, would have just found a way to fire me. But the reason that it happened like it did was really because I have maintained a commitment to being as authentic as possible. When I started it was still legal for an employer to fire you for being queer. (We are also an at will state, so you can get fired for literally anything, but we're all given additional protections.) I refused to go to work for an employer where I couldn't be out. And I am lucky that such an employer still exists in this area, but I'm the one who made this happen.

2. I didn't know how much being misgendered upset me until I wasn't as much anymore. I knew that I didn't like it, but the psychic weight of hearing myself referred to incorrectly over and over every day was just so much worse than I thought it was. I was so upset about it that I was trying to convince myself that I had never been nonbinary the first place, but it turns out that when people like actually respect your personhood, shit gets way easier. I've found it also it stops misgendering outside of work from hurting so badly? I am a workaholic, it is just part of my personality, I will find a way to do it no matter where I work, I spend way more time with my coworkers than my friends or my family. Having that space where I can just sort of breathe for a minute has really helped me handle the fact that like I will probably never be able to gender myself correctly in front of our partner organizations. What do I care if the Yoknapatawpha County Board of Supervisors calls me ma'am, they suck out loud anyway.

So I literally never thought I was going to reach this point, but I am so glad that I did, and despite the fact that I feel not great because of a bunch of other stuff that's going on, that piece of it has made my burdens just a little bit lighter. A+ do recommend even if it takes you 5 years

[thethingything]

apparently we've reached the point where I need to go make a list of all the bullshit currently going on in our life because the minute I stopped being distracted by making art and listening to videos about history I got stressed to all hell, started getting random flashbacks and intrusive thoughts, and started getting upset for "no reason".

plus I keep being like "I feel so stressed and overwhelmed but I have no idea why" and the cricopharingeal spasm we got back in January (which is triggered by stress) keeps flaring up, and our tourette's and ADHD and maladaptive daydreaming have all been worse (but I'm starting to suspect the memory problems and inability to focus are probably also us being more dissociated than usual which also happens due to stress).

I have a vague idea of why we feel like shit but our brain is clearly blocking a bunch of stuff out to try and help us function, except the dissociation that's used to block it out is making it harder to function and leaving me going "I feel like there's something huge I'm forgetting about and so much I need to do but I can't remember any of it" so I might as well just see if I can make a list of it all if only to validate our feelings a bit

[melancholysway]

TMNT Headcanons: Toxic Traits

Because they're not all rainbows and butterflies bro and IVE BEEN WAITING TO DO THIS WHY AM I SO EXCITED TO BE WRITING TOXIC TRAITS ABOUT THE GUYS LMAO

Also I'm thinking of 2003/2007/bayverse when I'm typing these LMAO

Leonardo

lowkey a control freak

since he's used to being in charge, he tries that in the relationship. Like, if you both want to hang out in the lair or anywhere in the city together, he makes it to where you sort of don't have a say where you go if that makes sense?

Loves his alone time a little too much

Like he won't answer a text or call because he's doing his own thing

This one is justified since he's always doing something with the team, but he sometimes gets so caught up and a whole day will go by without a word from him

Does not sugarcoat SHIT. He forgets to be gentle in times that you may be weak- he's more of a "well, do it then," kind of guy. If you come upset at him because you lost your job or got yelled at at work, expect him to say "then leave, it's not good for you to stay at a job like that." He'll say this, OFTEN. Especially if you come to him with the same issue, OFTEN.

Also that, don't complain about the same shit to him, he's gonna tell you straight up to do something about it instead of constantly complaining about it (IF it's something you can fix, this doesn't apply to really personal sensitive topics you can't control, i mean things you CAN control, like, your friends, job, clothes, etc,)

Raphael

even though raph is like my favorite attractive wise, I'd rather be friends with him LMFAO, why you may ask?

Raph is the PETTY KING.

Will intentionally ignore you if you do something to annoy him

He's so fucking petty bro, it's painful

holds grudges, it goes hand and hand with the pettiness, because in an argument he'll bring up shit that happened like

weeks ago.

I also hc he's an aries, and as an aries, we take everything to heart. We'll take what you say a bunch of different ways

We're also VERY hard headed, and don't care about anyone's opinions but our own, since we're really independent.

So, avoid giving him advice unless he ASKS.

He's independent, so, he likes his space. not that it's a bad thing, but if you're super clingy, yeah, he's gonna break up with you real fast LMAO

Cannot apologize for shit

Like, don't expect him to flat out say he's sorry? maybe a small "my fault," but really, don't expect him to say those two simple words

Donatello

This mf cannot admit when he's wrong. When you're dealing with someone as smart as Donnie, he often thinks that his answers are always right.

He'd rather die than admit he's wrong lowkey, because his genius and IQ is something that's unmatched, and to actually be wrong for once? yeah, no

sometimes you have to step up and check Donnie, because there will literally be times he's wrong and doesn't see it

Donnie hates hates HATES arguing. Any statement you make about him or the relationship that appears argumentative, he'll turn down immediately just to not argue, even if you weren't trying to and it was a harmless statement.

Don't ask this man to repeat anything for you more than once, he will not do it. He just doesn't have the strength to waste his breath when he was loud enough the first time

Michelangelo

Remember when I was talking about clinginess? Mikey is clingy as fuck

It's because he wants to be around you all the time, wants to be with you 24/7, that stuff.

It's sweet at first, but if you don't ask for space, he's seriously going to be following you like a dog everywhere i swear bro

Jealous of you, like the life you have. He wishes he could be human all the time, I don't know, he's jealous of the opportunities you have

Doesn't know when to be serious

Like yes his jokes are funny, but when you come upset seeking for an understanding boyfriend, he tries to make it funny, it comes from a good place, but it doesn't help

Doesn't know when to be serious but then gets pressed when you seek for advice from his brothers? like bro? just try not to make a joke while Y/n's talking about their problems?

Out of all toxic traits, Mikey's pisses me of the most- I'm kind of like Raph, I hate clingy ass people or guys, it kills the mood and makes me not want them anymore it sounds bad but like

oops? sorrynotsorry?

Taglist:

@bee-1n-space Masterlist

[sliceoflifeshepard]

Writeblr Interview Tag!

Thank you to @dearunreliablenarrator for the tag

I tag @waltzshouldbewriting @violetcancerian @watermeezer @cherrybombfangirlwrites and anyone who wants to do this

Short stories, novels, or poems?

All of them. Its fun and good to practise having a variety

What genre do you prefer reading?

I love fantasy as my main, but my second favourite is crime/ true crime and things like Agatha Christie

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

Both. I like to have a variety so I can get stuff done and not stress about some fun projects whilst outlining the serious ones that need a lot of work

What music do you listen to while writing?

Mostly musicals, right now its Wait For Me/Reprise from Hadestown, and then there's things like Linkin Park New Divide and Numb

Favorite books/movies?

Favourite books: Any Agatha Christie, Skulduggery Pleasant or A Good Girls Guide To Murder the trilogy

Favourite movies: Lilo and Stitch, Monsters Inc, Pirates of the Carribbean, Inside Out 1 and 2, Shrek 1 and 2

Any current WIPs?

Keep The Peace is part of my series Amongst The Chaos, an adult fantasy slice-of-life supernatural series where its a bunch of characters living in the city of Nottingham, and meeting up at various places to get together and talk about events that have happened in their lives as they live amongst the supernatural - e.g Angels. Demons, Ghosts and the like and their reactions to the chaos.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

jogging bottoms and a lilo and stitch t-shirt or a game of thrones t-shirt, stich trainers, a stitch handbag and a sunflower lanyard.

Create a character description of yourself: 

Fat non-binary person really into eating and crafting and loves to dye hair different colours, cannot see for shit without glasses and cannot drive.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Yes and no. All my characters are original, but sometimes my mother will suggest 'oh, write about our family, your nephews, the cats' ect and to be honest with you, ive never figured out how to fit them in, so i dont.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

Oh yeah, absolutely. I will kill whoever I want to, whenever I want to. I'm not afraid to get violent with the deaths, but I gotta do it justice

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Tea, Hot Chocolate or different juices, depending what's in my reach and i'm interested in.

Slow or fast writer?

It depends on how motivated i am, when im not in writers block i can write 2k within like 2 hours

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

Everything - the books i read, the games i play, the music i listen to.Bad writing pisses me off real bad and I know I can do better

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

A librarian or writer completely done wih the city being destroyed by the supernatural but being really intrigued and trying not to die.

Most fav book cliche:

I cannot answer.

Least favorite cliche:

curing disabilities. like fuck off with that shit, give them their aids back and we dont need to cure autism, we're fine the way we are

Favorite scene to write?

all of them, i just cannot pick one thing i love. Its just... the whole process of writing that I love and I wouldn't change it fot the world

Reason for writing?

Because its a part of what makes me, me and i wouldnt have it any other way. I am a writer, its in my blood. I enjoy the creation, the creativity, the uniqueness of my own voice

[diamondstripe1]

Ways To Be The >:3 Thing Personified

okayokay i LOVE those aesthetic pink posts, the ones with the "tips for being an angel/princess/whatever", the ones with the life improvement stuff,,, but also like. they're all so calm. where's the chaos. the rabidness of femininity. we need it. i need it

SO i decided to make my own!! as of now im calling this 'chaotic pink tips', but if you have a better name please share sjjsjd

⁺ ﹒　 ♡　﹒　　﹒

-incorporate some cryptid ass things into your outfit. the one with the frilly white skirt and tank top? wear a necklace of teeth with it. those stockings looking a bit too plain? splatter some fake blood. got a duplicate of a long skirt you ordered? rip it up, see what you can do with it. bonus points if your outfit's a bit vintage-ish, though that's not a requirement!! ^^

-you know those plushies with two heads and a bunch of eyes? learn to make those. i haven't done this yet, but it looks really fun!! OR if you don't wanna make a whole new plushie and have some money to spare, go on etsy and support some plushie artists. :D

-incorporate it into your personality. really LEARN what it means to be a batshit insane doll. still be a sweetheart- be sickly sweet, even- if you ain't nice, you're not >:3, you're just >:). but have that unnerviness about you that just sorta draws people in. are you interested in various torture methods? learn those, and share them to anyone who's interested!! found something funky on the side of the road? collect it, incorporate it into your life!! of course, do whatever makes you happy- those are just examples <3 oh also, swear when people least expect it, that shit's hilarious ueueu

-scrolling through various pink tips, i noticed quite a few of them include poetry- read poetry, write poetry, share it with the moon... SO how about we put our own spin on that? do all that, but with horror!! specifically, horror with overly cutesy characters. be as creative as you want with the characters, the storyline, whatever. if we're going with the whole "share it with the moon" thing, well, do it!! it's gonna send a shiver down its cold spine. >:D

-create a nest. get a bunch of floral blankets, satin pillows, various plushies, and whatever cozy thing you can think of, and just sort of mix it however would be most comfortable for you. go against the whole 'neat bed' thing- it's called a nest for a reason!!

-indulge yourself!! sometimes, self care doesn't feel like face masks and picture-perfect diets and walks at the ass crack of dawn. sometimes, self care feels like aggressive snoozing in silk pajamas with a chili dog stain, and waking up twelve hours later to rummage through an ice cream tub. and there's no shame!! live your life in the way that's most comfortable to you. ^^

⁺ ﹒　 ♡　﹒　　﹒

AAAAND that's all i got jsjsjdj if you have any, feel free to tag me!! <3

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas, Leo Anon.

I have successfully blown up my life since the last ask I sent you, so before you read this entire thing and call me a dick, just know… I know. 

It turns out Leo does still have a crush on me. And I still have a crush on him (it’s one of those annoying crushes that hasn’t just gone away after a month. Or a year. Or two).

He told me he still had a crush to explain his reaction and apologised. I then admitted I still have a crush on him.

And that’s where it all went downhill.

Leo got accepted into his dream university, and told us a few months ago under no certain terms would he dream of delaying going.

So when he said “I could go with you and Benjamin in the gap year” I panicked. (Benny’s my best mate btw, he’s obsessed with the Harry Potter dudes and has been complaining non stop about not having the time to enter your conan fest? Which is true he’s super busy- but he’s excited to read the fics i think cause he’s loves conan gray. Ngl I know nothing abt the Harry Potter fandom, hope that’s chill. He’s how I found this blog actually- and you’re really kind to take the time to read about how i’ve ruined my life). 

Back to the plot. Leo said what he said and I freaked, I didn’t want him coming with us and then resenting me later for him missing uni. 

I told him that’d interfere with me and Benny’s plans to hook up with a bunch of people. 

He got really quiet and sounded really sad as he said he had to go. 

We didn’t have plans to hook up with people. I panicked and lied…

Oh and gets worse. Word got back to Benny’s girl (they’re not technically dating yet but they are) who’s going to a dif country after the summer for skl, and so we were gonna delay our trip where she is so Benny and her could hang.

But she heard what I told Leo abt hooking up and was mad. So I had to do some damage control.

I met up with her and told her only I was hooking up with people, I just didn’t want to hurt Leo’s feelings any more than I had.

She accepted that and her and Benny are chill but word got back to Leo and now he hates me. 

He thinks I lied and I wanted to spend the whole time hooking up with people and he’s never meant anything to me and I don’t care about people. 

If we’re being honest, I wasn’t going to hook up anyone on this trip. I hate hooking you with people. 

Benny said he thinks i’m on the ace spectrum (demi something he said, like the singer idk?) 

It was chill with my first gf, but my ex bf pressured me into it since i’d “already lost my virginity so what?” and then I hooked up with like one other person before deciding it wasn’t really for me.

But I had a rep by then somehow and everyone thought I was some play boy. 

I figured my mates knew that wasn’t true but turns out they all believed the rumours too. 

Point is, Leo thinks he’s “just another on of my hookups” when the most we’ve ever done is make out and I felt more then than anything else i’ve ever done. 

This is stupid. I shouldn’t bother you with my dumb problems. Sorry.

I know I ought to apologise and come clean and stuff but, maybe it’s better if I just leave the friendship fucked up, that way he won’t sacrifice anything for me and I can fuck around the world being cultural and shit. He can do better anyway. 

Hi!

Alright, you need to communicate with him!

You can't lie to make someone else's decisions for them! That's not cool! Look at where it's gotten you!

Please, sit Leo down and tell him everything- including that you don't want him to give up Uni for you. But remember that's his decision. If you like him and maybe want to be in a relationship with him, you need to respect his wants and needs, don't decide for him. Talk together about what's best <3

You're not a bad person, I know you were trying to help him. But the best thing to do is talk about it.

Tell Benny I say hi, and he should come try the fest!

[upthewitchypunx]

You all seemed very confused about my last post, trust me, I'm just as confused about the casting a spell that binds someone's sexuality, but I guess that's where we are.

Look, I try to be a compassionate person, but sometimes when you reconnect with someone who was close to you over 20 years ago and invite them to live in your home it doesn't always go well.

I don't like talking about other people's stories, especially online, but this has affected our life and our home and brought chaos into our space. So, this is my story.

This old friend seems to have it together, paid rent early and had a job lined up before they got here. It seemed they were having a bit of trouble adjusting. After a few months it was clear they were going through a mental health thing for the 3rd time in 2 months and making wild accusations and doing hurtful things like smoking cigarettes and massive amounts of weed when they know they have a lung problem and abandoning cats with no food or water or not paying all their rent or giving 30 days notice before they leave town, you just have to cut ties.

This was the last straw. The one before was 2 weeks ago when I was accused of thinking they wanted to use magic to steal my partner and that somehow because I knew stuff they didn't I was making them feel bad about it and that they think I think they just want to steal all my ideas.

I was compassionate. I stayed calm. I said I was confused, asked if she was okay. A few days later she came down crying to apologize, said she wasn't okay. We talked. I told her about the Oregon Health Plan and how she could get some help. She seemed grateful and she did and had an appointment lined up.

Then last week we left for Astoria for a night and she was there at 4 pm to bring a package in but by 1pm the next day when we got home most of her things were gone except furniture that wouldn't fit in her car. We didn't really notice the things gone at first and thought maybe she had gone on a little trip because the cats were still here so we fed them and got them water, then messaged her after a few days. She claims she had a medical issue and called an ambulance. Then her family came here and towed her home. The time line doesn't make sense. Her family is a 12 hour drive away. How long was she in the hospital? How long did it take to pack her car? Why did she leave the cats? Why didn't she tell us on her own about the medical emergency?

I'm a pretty forgiving person, especially if the person is honest and isn't trying to take advantage of me. It often bites me in the ass, but at least I know I can sleep at night and treat people to my own ethical standard until I hit a point.

Last night we got more confusing messages declaring we actually wanted her cats all along and the whole binding her sexuality thing. We decided that it wasn't worth putting effort into this relationship, she's with her family now, we aren't getting blood from a stone, and that we had done as much as we could, calmly said we were confused and hurt and will find new homes for the cats, and blocked her.

I don't usually air someone's personal issues online, but this is someone you will never know, they probably won't see this, I don't really care if they do, and this is my blog and this is an incredibly frustrating, emotionally laborious, and financially unexpected experience we are going through right now and I just need to vent.

I've already contacted a cat rescue about the cute nice cat and the hissing mean cat that won't come out of the closet. Now I need to get rid of a brand new IKEA bed frame, a couch, a big clothing rack, 2 poorly constructed book shelves, a TV, a bunch of clothes and shoes, a record player that doesn't work, a giant stack of new age books, and a bunch of other random shit.

Oh, and cleanse the house of that nonsense before finding a new housemate, which a friend of a friend is interested in.

All of this while we are working to make the shop on the first floor browsable.

Please do not make disparaging comments about someone who is seriously going through something. I don't need to hear it. It won't be helpful or have a point. I'm not mad, just annoyed and wishing people had better communication.