#these are pretty angsty so beware

[artbyace]

assigning mitski lyrics to marauders characters !!

cuz all my favorite things have to make me so sad and i love being miserable apparently. i added explanations that r pretty 50/50 on how much i pulled from canon or just sprinkled in headcanons

Reach out the car window tryin' to hold the wind / You tell me you love her, I give you a grin / Oh, all I ever wanted was a life in your shape / So I follow the white lines, follow the white lines / Keep my eyes on the road as I ache - Strawberry Blond

Remus about Sirius while watching him date girl after girl in school

Mom, would you wash my back? / This once, and then we can forget / And I'll leave what I'm chasing / For the other girls to pursue - Class of 2013

Regulus because mommy issues (same ) and those last two lines are so jegulus angst

I haven't given you what you need / You wanted me but couldn't reach me / So you went into your memory / Relive all the ways you still want me - Should’ve Been Me

James, how he never moved past Regulus’ death and spent his whole life looking for him in even the smallest details (really Regulus talking to James)

If you would let me give you pinky promise kisses / Then I wouldn't have to scream your name atop of every roof in the city of my heart - Once More to See You

Dorcas, because this lyric is just absolutely her pining over Marlene. personal HC that Marlene struggled with internalized homophobia so she constantly pushed Dorcas away, fearing what people may say. Dorcas just wanted to give her everything

Still nobody wants me / And I know no one will save me / I'm just asking for a kiss / Give me one good movie kiss / And I'll be alright - Nobody

Peter, feeling constantly on the outs of his friend group and just horrible about himself. Feeling as though no one would ever love him because he wasn’t as handsome as Sirius, funny as James, or intelligent as Remus :((

And I was so young when I behaved twenty-five / Yet now, I find I've grown into a tall child /And I don't wanna go home yet / Let me walk to the top of the big night sky - First Love/Late Spring

Sirius. this one feels pretty self explanatory but how Sirius had to stand up to their mother and protect Reggie as a kid. escaping ‘home’ and finally being able to live freely and cry and experience emotions and heal his inner child. this whole song is So Sirius to me

And autumn comes when you're not yet done / With the summer passing by, but / I don't think I could stand to be / Where you don't see me - Francis Forever

Mary having to outlive all of her friends and ultimately not being able to stand it without them. they were her summer. (also there’s definitely an autumn/lily tie in i could make here but i’ll let that speak for itself)

One morning this sadness will fossilize / And I will forget how to cry … / And then one warm summer night / I'll hear fireworks outside / And I'll listen to the memories as they cry, cry, cry - Fireworks

Remus trying to move on with his life and forget Sirius after believing he was the one who had betrayed Lily and James.. but always having those feelings and grief resurface at the slightest memory of Sirius :(((

All of this turbulence wasn't forecasted / Apologies from the intercom / And I am relieved that I'd left my room tidy / They'll think of me kindly / When they come for my things - Last Words of a Shooting Star

Regulus dying, but being so okay with doing so because he was dying doing the right thing. he died thinking Sirius and James and everyone else would know that he died defying Voldemort, and they would finally love him for it but they would never get to know T_T

You're coming back / And it's the end of the world / We're starting over and I love you darlin' / And I am done, dear - I Want You

Sirius or Remus about each other respectively. they’d finally made it back to each other after Sirius escaped Azkaban, but would never be able to live the life full of love they deserved .

[outoftheseine]

- SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY FIC RECS -

a lot of dad!simon fics here. i am not sorry. i want to bear this man's child(ren) | note: this is COD so there are some trigger warnings like: blood, guns, injuries, military stuff, death so please beware of them. there also also 18+ content so minors DNI. don't forget to read the authors' warnings | more will be added!

main masterlist

SERIES - MULTI-CHAPTERS

haunted | part 2 • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @babygirl-riley (heavy angst, tw: depression, drugs, addiction suicide, toxic relationship, please read the warnings!)

too old for you | part 2 • simon 'ghost' riley x medic!fem!reader

↳ by @lunarw0rks (smut, hurt/comfort, age-gap)

soft spot • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @cordeliawhohung

the red means, i love you • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader x john 'soap' mactavish

↳ by @thewriterg

smashing pumpkins • simon 'ghost' riley x civilian!fem!reader

↳ by @qwimchii

last kiss | part 2 • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @milf-murdock (angst, unestablished relationship, smut, fluff)

secret lovers | part 2 • husband!simon 'ghost' riley x wife!reader

↳ by @savemefromanepicoftimewasted

my baby swingin' • biker!simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @tojisun (very sexy biker!simon, smut, fluff)

happiness • simon 'ghost' riley x wife!fem!reader

↳ by @lethalchiralium (i feel so fuzzy when i read this series, fluff, sometimes angst, some tw be aware)

i'm with you | keep you close • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @undercoverpena (angst, feelings, explicit)

being yelled at by ghost | part 2 • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @hxltic (angst! simon is an asshole)

northern attitude | part 2 • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @bubbles-for-all-of-us (enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst)

lights on • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @peachesofteal (single mom!reader, fluff, slight angst, protective!simon)

one night stand | part 2 | part 3 • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @cmncisspnandmore

ONE-SHOTS - BLURBS - HC'S

break in, break down • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @hyperactively-me (home invasion, comfort, fluff)

his girls • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @babygirl-riley (so so so fluffy, dad!simon)

one fucking mistake • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @codfanficedits (very angsty, hurt but no comfort for a whilez grieving, tw:depression)

book boyfriend • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @stargirlrchive (fluff)

lime-sized • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @imperihoe-writes (pregnant!reader, very fluffy)

bloodied bullets, soft confessions • simon 'ghost' riley x gn!reader

↳ by @ghosts-cyphera (a little mean!simon, hurt/comfort, injuries, fluffy end)

monster • neighbor!simon 'ghost' riley x afab!reader

↳ by @rowarn (smut, protective!simon, zombie au)

unmasked love • simon 'ghost' riley x afab!reader

↳ by @springtyme (so so so cute! dad!simon)

adoration • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @yawnderu (dad!simon, fluff)

simon 'ghost' riley x sensitive!gn!reader

↳ by @cherryredstars (fluff and nswf content)

this chapter is over • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @colonelarr0w (character death, angst, injuries, some fluff)

simon says • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @unreliablesnake (smut)

salt in an old wound • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!oc!reader

↳ by @ghouljams (hurt/comfort, explicit content, fae au)

blood on my shirt, rose in my hand • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @alwaysshallow (friends to lovers, the continuation is on ao3!)

antique soldiers • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @mangowafflesss

why? • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @riverbutghost (asshole!simon, injuries, slightly explicit at the end)

cold but warm • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @riverbutghost (asshole!simon, injuries, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff)

pretty pink flowers and bloody cherry blossom tree • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @underscorewriting (really really angsty, ugly cried)

for the last time • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @wttcsms (pregnant!reader, mentions of death, angst but fluff)

welcome home • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @nastybuckybarnes (home invasion, arguing, fluff)

medical leave • simon 'ghost' riley x gn!reader

↳ by @kib-ble (mentions of injuries, hurt/comfort, fluff)

no more stars left to count • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @lvlyghost (angst, hurt/comfort)

protective • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @ponyosmom35 (medic!reader, protective!simon, tw: sexual harassement)

return • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @bruhrobs (fluff, colleagues to lovers, single mom!reader)

[eyelessfaces]

hcs for miguel with a breeding kink? 🫣

oooooo so I think it doesn't come right away for him, it comes step by step, but once it's unlocked..... 🙄🙄

(this got a bit angsty so beware. tw mentions of child death because of his daughter; tw pregnancy and everything else involved with breeding kink lol)

so maybe you've been dating for a few months and your birth control for now is just the pull out method (don't do that pls) and one time miguel happens to get lost in his pleasure and just forgets to pull out. you're both a bit panicked, but when you tell him that you'll take the morning after pill, he allows himself to calm down and damn the sight of his spent leaking out of you looks rather nice. it doesn’t take long for him to smear it over your clit and make you come again.

his breeding kink isn't fully unlocked at this point, but deep down the memory of his cum trickling out of you haunts him.

you've never had this conversation before, but you're sure that you want kids in the future, and if it's with miguel it's even better. one night after being together for a few years, you ask miguel how he feels about that and about his opinion on the subject, and he straight up completely breaks down before telling you about his daughter.

you're of course very understanding. the poor man is traumatized, and you just want him to be happy and you will be as long as he is, even if it involves not having kids with him.

a few weeks later, miguel tells you about a therapy program he's going to start, because even though he will never fully heal from his lost daughter, and wants to heal to be able to have kids with you. and you're actually surprised, because you had figured that he didn’t want kids after what happened with gabriella.

and now once the "we're both ready to have kids" title is written, the mission starts, and it's the best sex you've ever had.

you can see he truly enjoys being (finally) able to empty himself into you after taking you in so many positions, and even beyond seeing it, he tells you about it. he groans absolute filth about how good it feels to fill you up, how pretty you're gonna look all round with his baby, how long he has secretely wanted to pump his load into you after the night he accidentally forgot to pull out.

and if it turns out that you're struggling to get pregnant, you can bet that he's not letting you out of bed after "only" two rounds.

[hoshigray]

plz, can u write a oneshot about mean!toji x reader like hate sex 😭😭 toji bleeding and smirking in ep 4 makes me feel some feelings 😭😭 and if u can add some slap in the face- sorry for my bad english :(( hope u can understand

ik those feelings you're feeling, noonie, heheheee (¬‿¬) and dw, honey, your English is perfect ♡

cw: mean! Toji x fem! reader - hate sex, obvi - oral (m! receiving) - impact play; spanking - gun play (loaded) - bondage (chains) - hair pulling - dirty talk/degradation - doggy style position - unprotected sex - biting - mentions of blood and drool - it's gonna get real nasty (depiction-wise; blowjobs) so beware - pet names (doll, dollface, sweetheart) - angsty/violent ending. wc: 1.4k

"Go on." You look up to him, nothing more than his salacious grin and cold emerald eyes sending chills down your spine. Dry blood stains his tight black shirt and baggy pants. Metal chains restraining your hands are pulled to make you shift between his legs.

"...Tch, you got some nerve—"

"Watch that tone with me, sweetheart," your blood shifts to icy cold at the gun in his hand propped to your throat. "Would be a shame if I gotta put a bullet through you before the fun starts. So? Should I kill ya now, or are ya gonna be a good slut fr' me?"

Watery eyes twinkle along with the tremble rocking the uncomfortable bob in your throat, making breathing difficult. Your eyes then scroll down to the tent of his pants, his free hand bringing the material down to his thighs for his cock to spring out. You gulp trembling lips and hesitantly place your lips on the glans, a hiss exiting his scarred lips when you experimentally flick your tongue.

"Hmmm, don't act shy on me now," the gun to your throat drifts to your head. Fear prompts your heart to beat irregularly. "C'mon, Y/n. I know that pretty lil' mouth of yours is just beggin' to have me."

You give him a glare. It's exchanged with a chuckle, and the handgun's cold muzzle is now pressed to your forehead. "Fuck you, you fucking bru—"

BLAM!!

It was for a few seconds, but the blast was too close. Too frightened from the ringing in your ears that your body remains immobile, your eyes wide to the point of a tear falling. Too scared to move a single limb when Toji draws the gun back to your forehead.

"Actin' real smart, forgot who y're dealin' with." Toji sucks his teeth before his free hand pulls you by the chin back to his exposed dick. "Try that again."

Left with no choice, you open your mouth and insert the tip of his cock, your jaw loosening to accommodate the familiar girth of his length protruding from your oral cavity to the walls of your throat. Toji hisses at the swirl of your tongue on the underside of his dick, his free hand now on the top of your head with tufts of your hair in his fingers. "...Yeah, just like that, use that whorish mouth of yours."

If you had it in you, you'd bite his dick off right then; however, with a gun to your head and chains making escaping impossible, you can already calculate your doom if you were to do that. So, you pitifully suck on him as traces of his cum coat your tongue. The grasp on your hair gets tighter, and he roughly pushes your head to bob up and down from the base of his erection.

It's so disgusting how he uses you like this — like his toy, so used and abused...And what's worse, the throbbing sensation between your legs begins to flourish. Fuck you, Toji Fushiguro...

"—Ahhh, shit, shit," his groans of pleasure fill your ears; they feel so dirty to hear. His hips are unable to refrain from bucking into your mouth. And before you know it, Toji drives your face to his base, the tip of his cock hits the back of your throat, and he releases his load into you. More tears fall from your face, whimpers muffled by the pulsing limb between your plump lips, forced to drink what he gives you until he withdraws from you. Drool and come paint his shaft, your mouth, and chin — a mess you're compelled to make.

But it doesn't stop there. Of course, it doesn't.

Because remember: you are his toy. And a greedy man like Toji wants to wear you out by any means necessary, whether you like it or not. Especially now with your face smooshed down to the cold floor, your hands to your back still restrained by the chains, and your bare ass for him to witness smack against his pelvis as he fucks you raw.

With a ruthless pace, Toji bullies and churns your insides with his girth in your cunt, his length pistoning to and fro from your leaky entrance. Your screams are erupted by the harsh thrusts, sounds of your ass smacking onto him corrupt your eardrums. He keeps you still on the ground with his strong hands on your shoulders, leaving any opposition worthless and unable to fight off his merciless tempo.

The fucker pants and groans down to your ear, it's so awful to hear. More so that it makes your slit clamp onto him tighter. How shameful. And he knows so too — the sinister chuckle is evidence as much. "Mmff—Heh, gettin' so tight fr' me, doll."

You don't reply, why should you. Too wrapped up in the pleasurable commotion between your legs to care for giving him a reply. That is until—b

SMACK!!

A sharp slap to your ass comes down to your ass without notice, erupting a scream from your fatigued throat.

"Hey, I'm talkin' to you, fuckin' broad." Your hair is yanked again, your head off the ground with tears and drool smooshed all over your pretty face. "Listen here, who—Mmmm!! Fuck...Who does this slutty pussy belong to?"

You'd rather die than say what he wants to hear you say. "Get off me, you—Ahhhhhh!"

Another smack to your ass, you chew on your bottom lip to the point of blood. "Cut the shit, Y/n..." He ponders before another grin lifts his scar and slaps your ass again. A choked sob aligns with your chasm gripping his cock again, and a satisfied moan comes from Toji. "Oh, now I know how to teach you a lesson."

Wait, no. No, no—

SMACK!!

"Ahaaann!! Ahhhh!! Toji, stop—" He doesn't listen, giving your shoulder a bite, leaving you breathless.

SMACK!! SMACK!!

"—OKAY, OKAY!!" The unbearable stinging heat on your asscheeks forces you to submit to him. ".....'s yours..." you say under your breath with gritted teeth. But with another blunt impact to your butt, Toji wanted to hear you loud and clear.

"Say it louder."

And you do. "It's yours!! I belong to you, only you!!"

His hands knead the hot flesh of your ass, and a dangerous chuckle stems from him. "That's better, ya damn broad." He releases your hair for your face to meet the cool floor again. "Now—Ohhh shit...you stay just like this while I finish here, got that?"

The older man doesn't give you room to respond, only returning his hips to an unforgiving pace. Mewls scratch out from your throat and mouth, too helpless to try and suppress them with your slick and come drip down to your legs.

It doesn't take long for him to climax into you, his hands finding your shoulders once more and pining you down, his fingertips leaving painful indents to your shoulder blades as he drills his dick deep inside for his load. Your orgasm follows when he grinds his pelvis to you, his length scraping your sweet spots perfectly and accurately. The rush hits you hard, your cunt contracting around him until the heat subsides.

He removes himself from your heaving body, trails of his come slide from your folds down to your inner thigh. The air makes the substance chill as it travels across your sweaty skin. For a minute, you're allowed to aimlessly rest. Your mind returns to its senses, a feeling of shame weighing your weary figure down. But it doesn't matter: it's finally over.

...So why do you hear a metallic click come from behind you? Your eyes drift to Toji's feet coming in your direction, crouching down to your level. A smile on his face — a sign you know that doesn't hold any positive connotation.

"Hope you enjoyed y'rself, I know I did," Toji hums, you could barely hear him. He then pulls out his handgun and points it at you. Those following words, so condescending, send chills down the spine. "Sorry, it had to end like this, dollface. Thanks for the fun time."

Your eyes widened before any words left your mouth. And just like that, you're reminded of your place in this mess. You're only his toy — a mere plaything he can rough up and mess with however he sees fit.

BLAM!!

And just like a toy, he'll discard you when he's done with you, removing your purpose and leaving your abused body for the cold, hard floor to keep motionless.

The blood that seeps out of your forehead is the only warmth you'll experience in your final moments. Finding a few seconds of comfort from yourself before your body shuts down, your vision blurry, and your identity whipped from the face of this Earth.

Here lies a toy that no longer works.

phewwww, been a while since I've done hate sex, hope you liked it!! :D

[losing-it-lately]

Pretty when I cry by Camila Cabello for TASM!Peter Parker.

Or

Birds of a feather by Billie Eilish for TASM!Peter Parker.

Pretty When I Cry

wc: 0.8k

tasm!peter parker x reader

this is a bit angsty so beware!

You look good, really good. In the way that Peter doesn't know what he should be doing anymore. Makeup smudged all around your eyes, a shiny dress of some kind and the most beautiful clear tears adorn your cheeks like small crystals. You always get sad when you're drunk, and he always takes you home when you're drunk.

Peter hates clubs. He always has. When he was younger, he couldn’t stand places with too much noise or too many people or too many random stains, and all of his dislikes increased abundantly after he got bit. It’s been so many years and Peter still hates clubs, he can’t fathom why anybody would ever willingly spend their Friday night in one. But, ever since you both turned old enough to frequent one, you would bring him there and he would look after you. And without a doubt, every Friday since he broke your heart, Peter continues to lurk in the club near your apartment and watch over you.

Yes, your friends can look after you, and it’s dingy and dirty and downright disgusting, but you’re there too. Every Friday, you’re there, so every Friday, Peter will be there too with a watchful eye.

You were Peter’s classmate, then the cute girl who found out about his double life, and then his girlfriend. You both had grown up together. Your first drink was a shot shared with Peter; it was sour and caused a visceral reaction, and that night, he gently lay you in your bed after the alcohol had suspended you in a drunken stupor. Peter promised you that night that he would be there for every drunken evening, and he hadn't yet broken that promise.

Every Friday, you would dress up in your finest party outfit, anything that you could scrummage from anywhere to try to get your mind off the love of your life's swift abandonment. And you knew you were doing something right, because without a doubt, Peter would end up taking off your shoes and draping warm blankets over your tired body. The liver damage was worth the potential undoing of the damage that Peter inflicted on your heart.

Your arms begin to drop more when you dance; Peter knows your tells and he can see that you are exhausted from the hours of dancing and drinking. He looks so out of place, in a dark hoodie with some darker jeans to let him blend into the background; he must be naive if he thinks you don’t notice him even in the dark. Peter shoves through people. He’s going to take you home: seat you in his car, play your favourite music and hold the back of your seat to pretend that he is holding your hand and resting alongside you. You both participate in this routine every week like clockwork. He picks you up out of the crowd and drives you back to your place, he helps you get unready and takes off your makeup and whispers whatever he wishes he could say when you’re sober, and then he breaks off completely and leaves you alone in your apartment without a note or a message or any indication that he still cares.

But today, something feels different, you’re completely silent in the car. No humming or mumbling or even moving, something has washed over you. Your eyes are even glossier than usual, a telltale sign of an incoming sob- but you’re still dead quiet. “Hey, are you ok?” Hif voice is soft and it floats around you like music.

“Why did you leave me,” in the lowest whisper you can muster up. If Peter’s car was any older and louder, he wouldn’t have been able to hear that question, and for a fourth time, he feels his heart shatter.

How can he properly explain to you all of the guilty nights, knowing that you were in danger. There were a myriad of villains who hated him enough to try to find you, to try to hurt you, and everyday that you loved him felt like another death sentence. So he ended it. Looking after you from afar was still looking after you, and even if it felt like a prison of his own making, he was keeping the promise he made you. Maybe it was selfish, but he hadn't taken the time to consider how horrible you felt too. “Just… you keep coming back, and I keep wanting you to come back, but then you leave again.”

Your voice seems so small now in comparison to how much space and attention you try to take up on the dance floor. And you look so pretty, then and now, even with your mascara making trails down your cheeks and your lipstick smudged and your tears wet. “I’m sorry,” is all he can muster up.

“Just take me home.” You turn to the window and watch whatever drives by. Next week and the weeks after that, Peter won't be there, and eventually you will stop frequenting that club. But he won't stop taking care of you, even if you don't know and you don't stop missing him, not until he comes home to you.

[vax-merstappen]

f1 boys as sour songs 💜

listened to sour for the first time in a while and remembered how good olivia rodrigo’s lyrics are. had to pair my favorite group of boys with the songs on a great album. this def got a little angsty because this album is pretty much pure angst so readers beware :)

if you like this, send me more albums to do pls!

Lando Norris

enough for you-

I’m sorry to say it but he would definitely move on for someone who he thought was better than you. I could see his girlfriend trying to live up to his expectations and needs. Lando seems like he would look for “someone more exciting” and the next second he would be gone. Also he seems like he would be oblivious to you trying “so hard to be everything you liked.” He has high standards that would be hard to live up to for anyone. I’m not sure that many people could be enough for Lando and this song is so much about that.

Oscar Piastri

driver’s license-

No because Oscar angst based on this song would go so hard. Him teaching you to drive but then you breaking up before you get your license? Sobbing… anyways. I feel like if one of the drivers were to teach you to drive, it would be Oscar. Also I can imagine driving through the suburbs with Oscar. Like maybe this is just my imagination so feel free to disagree with me, but like Oscar and driver’s license makes so much sense to me. Breaking up with him would hurt so bad omg

Max Verstappen

1 step forward, 3 steps back-

He screams an unpredictable lover. Like I could see him getting mad at you over something small but then being literally the sweetest person ever next time you see him. Like the passion and anger he has when on the race track could become a problem in his relationships. I feel like a relationship with him could involve a bit of “do you love me, want me, hate me?” Especially Max when first started f1 fits this, I think he’s matured a lot since then and Max today doesn’t apply as much, but early Red Bull Max 100% gives the energy of this song imo.

Charles Leclerc

deja vu-

The first driver that came to mind listening to this song was Charles. Like I hate to say it, but I see him reusing all of the romantic things he did with his exes with a new girlfriend. He would not be creative enough to come up with new ideas lol, like “everything is all reused.” Also I can see him doing “car rides in Malibu” like in his latest YouTube video and also telling “her you love her in between the chorus and the verse” since he likes music so much. I definitely see Charles angst based on this song.

Carlos Sainz

good 4 u-

Imagining an angry breakup with Carlos right now. He would definitely make you angry when he left and I can see him just moving on as if you never existed and you trying desperately to get him to realize how he actually hurt you. Also his life seems to be going great right now like “you’re getting everything you want” and “your career’s really taking off.” He is the type of guy to get everything he wants while you loathe it from afar. This would make such a great angst fic omg, I need someone to write Carlos with good 4 u right now

Lewis Hamilton

favorite crime-

I hate to say it, but I see him leaving to focus solely on his career. Which would lead to lines like “I watched as you fled the scene.” He would be the one to leave and would be blunt about it, leaving you feeling like a crime scene. Also come on, the line “I crossed my heart as you crossed the line,” is honestly so formula 1 coded and I can see Lewis crossing the line both physically while racing but also crossing the line in a relationship. This man would be so hard to leave and you would have been trying so hard to hold on while he was pulling away from you, like “all the things I did just to call you mine.” Ugh it hurts to say it but that’s what I’m imagining for this song :(

Daniel Ricciardo

brutal-

It’s giving Danny Ric being dropped by McLaren. “All I did was try my best, this the kind of thanks I get?” Like Danny definitely suffered at McLaren and this song screams the angst that must have come from that. Just imagine him blasting this in the car leaving his last day there. He’s “got a broken ego, broken heart” after all that. Could also relate to his hand injury, like with “ego crush is so severe, god it’s brutal out here.” Had to have been brutal for him to get his dream back just to have it kind of crushed again when he hurt his hand. Danny Ric and brutal just fits so well imo

Yuki Tsunoda

happier-

Ok because if Yuki ever moved on, he would be the ex I would want to be happy. But like look at that man, I would be hella jealous but want the best for him in life. It would hurt to be left by Yuki because he seems like such a genuine guy. Simultaneously wanting him to do too well but to not move on just seems like how a breakup with Yuki would go. I know I’m purely going off vibes here, but like come on! I would hope he’s happy but not like how he was with me. Would not be able to let this man go.

Alex Albon

jealousy, jealousy-

Out of the 2019 rookies, Alex has got the worst deal. I can imagine that he would constantly be comparing himself to Lando and George who have both have a lot more podiums than he has. Also having a teammate like Max at Red Bull also must have led to a lot of thoughts about him not measuring up. The line “comparison is killing me” just screams Alex Albon. Out of all of these drivers, he gets the most compared to teammates and the other drivers who joined the grid when he did. If anyone here is jealous, it has to be Alex.

Logan Sargeant

hope ur ok-

Logan absolutely embodies this song and I will die on that hill. He fits the physical description for “blond with eyes of salt.” I feel like Logan has had to “unlearn all of their hatred” more than a lot of other drivers, as he did have a not so great season and received a lot of negativity. I actively hope Logan is ok and that he is able to be happy despite his bad start in f1. He deserves so much better and that is exactly what this song is about.

[vase-of-lilies]

So for tiny vurse what if both nat and wanda have an emergency having to leave tiny alone but then enter aggitha and she whispers through the wind and lures you out because she's still mad at wanda then wanda and nat come home check your room and your gone but they find a trail of crumbs because we found the cookies and finds us in a cabin souronded by 3d print animals dancing with magic and agitha keeps us in like a dream like state that we don't see are mommies or hear them. Add what you want I just think it would be funny as I'm looking at my 3d printed dragon.

The Trap

Paring: Mommy!Wanda Maximoff x Little!Reader (f) x Mama!Natasha Romanoff (Featuring Agatha Harkness)

Warnings: Heavy MD/LG, Agatha luring away reader, magic, tiny has to be alone:( forest, being kidnapped from your kidnappers, this is a dark AU in general so beware, threats of falling off a cliff, hallucinations

A/n: I love this request! Thank you for sending it in 🥺 (I also have always wanted to 3D print something but I don't know where to find a printer 😭 my local library doesn't have one either:( ) But I hope you like this!! I feel kinda bad making it angsty at the end lol but I thought this could be like Anistaisia's dream (If you have seen the movie!!)

"Baby, I'm so sorry we have to go, but we will be back so soon, ok? Can you promise us that you'll be good?" Wanda and Natasha are rushed to get out the door, an emergency mission involving Ultron threatening the existence of humanity.

You nod as you hold your lion in your hands, tears forming in your eyes as you think of not being with your mommies for a little while. Pretty soon after they leave, your bigger headspace might show itself again, but you know better than to escape. And as you stare at your mommies gathering everything they need, you start to feel a sensation of abandonment.

Wanda immediately takes notice of this and kneels down in front of your spot on the couch. Grabbing a hold of your hands she squeezes them gently. "Hey, little one... it's going to be ok. You are gonna have so much fun with Leo here and then after you lay down for your nap, we'll be back in a blink of an eye," She says with a smile, kissing the backs of your hands.

Nat sighs as she sees you on the couch and frowns at your tears. She joins Wanda and sits beside you, wrapping her arm around you softly. "I promise, sweetheart, we'll be back so soon." She whispers, kissing your head. You nod at their reassuring words and lay down on the pillow they set up for your nap on the couch.

Hugging your lion tightly, you wave to them as Wanda and Nat go out the front door, the two women waving back.

The soft music coming from the TV plays and you watch the ocean waves beating against the sand on the screen. It lulls you to sleep almost as fast as hearing your Mommy's lullaby sung to you.

Not far into your nap you heard a soft whisper, causing you to sit up slowly. You yawn and rub your hands over your eyes, getting the sleepers and crusties off of your skin. You look around confused as to where this soft whisper could be coming from, remembering that your caregivers had to leave for a mission.

Your eyes looked around the room, looking for that voice however, your mind was pulled in a different direction when you saw a small bag of Wanda's famous cookies! Hopping off of the couch, you wander over to the counter where there is a note.

'Be good, Tiny, we're always watching over you ❤️ Love, Mommy and Mama.'

Their note made you smile but you were yet again distracted by that soft whisper in your ear. Your head snapped to the sliding back door that had miraculously opened on its own. Curiosity took over your head like a trance, or maybe it really was a trance...

Absentmindedly, you take a bite of a cookie, some crumbs tumbling down your shirt and onto the floor. Your eyes widen as a purple tendril of energy presents itself in the door, and the whisper is louder than ever, luring you outside of your humble abode.

As you follow the mist, you continue to nibble on the cookies your mommy left for you, dropping a pathway of crumbs on the way to the gate at the edge of the backyard. This gate was connected to the fence, and the mysterious purple energy quickly opened it. The hinges squeaked with every inch it opened and you were taken aback by a small group of animals, a purple glow around them as they danced down a dirt path into the woods.

You continued to eat your cookies, some chocolate chips falling on the soil beneath you as you explored deeper into the forest.

"Just a little further, sweet girl..." The whisper coaxes you, your aura turning a bright purple as you fall further under the spell of Wanda and Natasha's enemy; Agatha.

Your mind was a haze once you got to an imaginary home in the middle of a grove of trees, the animals jumping and dancing around you as you sat down on a rock. What you didn't realize, was in reality you were nowhere near a grove of trees, you were on the edge of a cliff. At the bottom of the cliff was a collection of sharp, jagged rocks. Agatha had manipulated your mind to see something different.

She had the intention to take what mattered the most to the two women she hated.

The rock you were sitting on was at the very edge of the cliff and was only a couple feet (or meters for you non-Americans). If you walked any further, you would fall to your death and not even know it.

On the mission, Wanda could feel something was wrong and once they were finished with Ultron, they raced back home to see if you were safe. When you were not on the couch, in your bed, or in your playroom, they panicked. Nat ran to the security room and rewound all the tapes. Her eyes narrowed as she saw you leave through the backdoor, but she still could feel something was wrong. The door had opened by itself... she didn't leave willingly. She thought.

"Nat! Nat, let's go! I know where she is!!" Wanda shouted from the kitchen where the backdoor was. Her wife ran to her, gun in hand and spider bites ready in her other. "Look, she left crumbs." Wanda pointed to the ground, the pathway of cookie crumbs leading to the gate.

The two women ran as fast as they could, following your trail of crumbs all the way to where you were. As they saw you, Wanda gasped and tears filled her eyes as she saw you so close to the edge of the cliff. She saw the purple around you and growled to herself. "Agatha... you bitch,"

Nat looked over at her, knowing not to move if Agatha was near. She is powerful, but Wanda is more so. All three of them knew that, yet Agatha still tried.

Looking around the trees, Nat sees the witch perched on a branch, purple whisps of magic moving about her fingers. Wanda is nudged by her wife and she looks in the same direction, glaring at the woman. Before anything worse can happen to you in your dream state, Natasha pulls her grappling string from her belt and shoots it towards you, the chord wrapping around your waist to hold you away from the cliff.

Agatha notices the sudden lack of movement from you, frowning as you don't move forward with the animals as they hover in mid-air above the drop. She looks around to see what could be stopping you and meets the glowing red eyes of Wanda on the ground.

"Ah, so you do care about your little bunny..." Agatha says, floating down from her spot in the tree above. She lands between you and your mommies, sparking even more rage in Wanda. A large red burst of energy forces Agatha into a tree trunk, blood flowing from her head as she stands up.

"Oh, you are angry," The witch notes, smirking as Wanda walks towards her. The two sorceresses face each other, distracting Agatha enough for Natasha to run to you. Her soft kisses to your forehead and arms around you weren't enough to pull you from the trance you were in, but Wanda could help with that.

"First, you mess with my family in Westview, then you mess with my wedding, now you mess with my girl? It ends now, Agatha, you are dead to me and will be for everyone!" Wanda shouts, her magic pushing her up to float above Agatha, who is much too weak to fight back.

Natasha pulls you to a safe spot, your whimpers making her frown as she sees you reach for the imaginary animals that were luring you to your death. She holds you to her chest so you aren't able to see Wanda and Agatha and prays that once Wanda is done, you will be back to normal in no time.

The scarlet witch forced all of her energy onto Agatha, not killing her, just transferring her to a place where everyone would be safe from her. The Raft. She knew that the guards there dealt with her first, so they knew exactly what to do once Agatha arrived there.

Finally, your mommy floats to the ground, taking a deep breath as she regains her energy. Her head turns towards you and Nat, both looking back at her. Quickly she makes her way to you and kneels down to you as you sit in Nat's lap, holding onto her and your lion. With a small push of red magic to your head, your trance is pulled away from your mind and your eyes snap back to reality.

Looking at your surroundings, you realize it is not the same thing that you saw while under Agatha's power and you whimper. "Where a' I?" You ask in a small voice, trying to make sense of what happened. "Where da animals?"

Wanda sighs and holds your hand, "Oh baby, it's ok, you're safe now. You must have wandered off while you were sleeping," She chuckles softly, trying to distract your thoughts from becoming irrational. With Natasha smoothing her hand over your head, you are slowly pushed back into sleep.

"Mama n' mommy home..." You whisper tiredly, a sloppy smile on your face as your hands move up to gently cup Wandas. Your mommies smile at you and carry you back to the cabin, making sure to tuck you in with your little lion by your side.

After wiping off the crumbs from your front, Wanda smiles and whispers to you, "I'm glad you liked the cookies, little one."

And with a kiss to your forehead, you sleep peacefully in between your loving mommies.

[blazefirefox]

The Bellflower Witch

"If you see a shadow slip by you and the sounds of a feline, beware, for Eastridge's resident witch is on the hunt. She'll show no mercy and will leave nothing behind."

Here's my Veldigun OC, Jinx, or The Bellflower Witch!

She goes by she/they pronouns. Her former partner was Barbara, with her current one being Mortimer. They aren't very fond of Clyde, indifferent to Winfrey (at least at first...), is friends with Simon and The Flock, wants to put Klaus in a meat grinder, and wants to get closer to Jack. Hates Lankmann (The Doctor)

History

When they were still in their ooze form, they pretty much exclusively consumed stray cats, mice, and deer if they were lucky enough. This resulted in her primarily feline form. She was quite timid during this period, mostly because she was alone, and her small stature didn't exactly help things for her fighting-wise. That is until they met a young girl by the name of Jennifer Perkins in the county of Eastridge, who, despite their odd appearance, grew fond of the Veldigun. Jinx also valued her companionship, and would monitor Jen's entire life. Unfortunately, Jennifer would be found by Jinx bleeding out in the middle of the forest after a mugging gone wrong. In a last ditch attempt to save her, Jinx consumed Jen, so that she would "live forever" in them. Jennifer Perkins, at 17 years-old, would be the first victim of The Bellflower Witch.

After consuming Jen, Jinx's form would become slightly bigger, and more alike to a "true" Veldigun, although she was still very lonely. Until she met Barbara, another Veldigun finding refuge in the woods. She would immediately become Jinx's mother figure, and would remain partners and best friends. Since she now had the stability to form her own personality, some of her snark comes through, and she starts to act more like an angsty teen lol. Things were relatively well now. Both Jinx and Barbara were hesitant to feed on humans, with Barbara only consuming those that think they don't have anything else to live for and Jinx only feeding on them when desperate. Both of their worlds would turn upside down when the Lankmann Foundation reared its ugly head. The foundation's best hunter, Clarisse von Arnham, was tasked to capture Veldigun, in which she was happy to oblige. The forest around Eastridge was becoming more and more dangerous for the Veldigun pair to reside in, as Clarisse had made it her mission to purge the species through traps and frequent hunting expeditions. Barbara and Jinx would be able to evade her, but their luck ran out when Clarisse caught them off guard and managed to subdue Barbara. In a moment of pure adrenaline, Jinx consumed Clarisse, along with eating and brutalizing her remains. This would lead up to Jinx's current form.

For a few years after, Barbara and Jinx managed to stay low, with the traps Lankmann setting up becoming more dangerous to make up for the loss of the foundation's most prestigious hunter. In one of these traps, Jinx's right (her right) horn would be broken off, but it would regrow. Eventually, the Lankmann Foundation was able to capture the pair by cutting off their food source until they were on the brink of starvation and taking them in then. Lankmann himself made the executive decision of sending in Barbara to communicate with a captured Winfrey. When things were going nowhere, some of the Caretakers went into the cell to retrieve Barbara, which prompted Winfrey to freak out and become uncontrollable. Unfortunately, Barbara would be caught in the crossfire. Although technically she was consumed by Winfrey, to the physical world, Barbara was dead, and Jinx had to witness it all. For months afterward, Jinx would be kept in that infernal asylum, feeling the loneliness of their early days, and the same mourning of Barbara as they had for Jennifer. Caretakers would sometimes come into their cell and take notes on their behavior, but they'd never give them the satisfaction of doing anything interesting for them. Even rarer still, regular employees of the asylum would come to take a look at the creature, none of them staying for long. Except for one...

why did the artist keep bothering her? it doesn't matter, she missed the company

The Doctor himself even paid her a visit once, but he didn't stay for long, and thank god he left so soon. Jinx lived in this cycle until hell came crashing down. Clyde infiltrated the asylum.

Trivia

Her voice claims for her felidae form was just a cat ig, her juvenile form was Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder) from Heathers (1989), and her current voice is Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World/Takes Off

she is very mitski-penelope scott-jack stauber coded

they hate Clyde so much because they encountered it when they were still just a cat and it literally threw her 💀

she also kinda blames it for her capture because it "should've just left the stupid county alone"

when they're in the area, Jinx just sometimes... chills at Simon's barn; they both relate to not feeding on humans (ofc Jinx still does, but only when desperate)

Jinx's biggest fear is becoming like Clarisse, as some of her """"""interesting""""""" personality traits slipped into Jinx's demeanors, and she's worried that she'll just become a danger that will be abandoned

yeah she has issues save her please

im hinging a lot of her backstory on the headcannon that veldigun can control if their touch is dangerous (y'know, the melding bone and skin stuff)

urghhhh its 1 am what am I doing with my life

after consuming Clarisse, Jinx would start physically eating their victims after claiming their minds, just so they wouldn't leave anything behind

sometimes she purposefully goes into the town to freak out some humans for gits and shiggles

her arms can stretch longer than their normal length

Jinx is cunning, but not as smart as Clyde, but what she can beat him out with is actually just brute strength (she never skips arm day)

teeeechnically her name is Jennifer since that was her first human consumption, but, no offense to Jen, Jinx thinks the name is kinda lame and kept Jinx

illl add more later ig idk

MORE INFO IN REBLOG

ANOTHER THING, I'd like to thank @havoc-bloom for being so kind and letting me info dump to them about her around a year ago, you've helped me so much by talking to me, even if we haven't done it in a while :)

here she is ive been working on this ref ever since volume 1 came out im so glad its finished! ofc now I have to do all my other ocs and my other thing for jinx but eh. im going to go sleep

ill try to edit this in the morning, but I hope you like her!

but more references as a treat

[pizzabox-box]

Not a question about anything pizza tower related, I'm just curious about you (in the least creepy way you can take that)! Do you have other blogs/social media accounts (wants to see more art)? What're your pronouns/a name you want to go by? /Most/ importantly, what's the art program(s) you use? It reminds me so much of an old mobile app I used to use, but I think it's pure coincidence!

I go by Rookie Cookie/Rookie/Pizzabox .My pronouns she/her or they/them. My main blog is @rookies-cookies-art so if you see blog named rookies-cookies-art liking your stuff that's me! But there isn't much on there yet. (In fact, there's absolutely nothing yet)

This was actually supposed to be a side blog for the event for when I sometimes make something Pizza Tower related. But I got carried away and well, you know the rest. I became that one full time Pizza Tower artist that mixes fake and real Peppino in various ways and reports the results. (oh well)

In case you want to chat my discord is: rookie_cookie_

You can also find me on instagram under the name: rookie_cookie_

But beware:

I am not active on there anymore

it's Minecraft focused

The art is pretty outdated. I mean I'm not bad, but it's kinda edgy and angsty, especially the older drawings (I say as if whatever is going on with all these au's isn't dark and angsty lol )

I draw my stuff with the help of a regular tablet and a finger. And I have been doing so for the last 6 years. (don't worry I still have all of my fingers👍)

I use sony Sketch. A great ad free app, I have been using that since very begining :) Sometimes when I want to draw on my PC I use Drawpile.

Besides Pizza Tower I'm big fan of all sorts of evolution/creature games (Spore,Thrive,Elysian Eclipse you name it! ) And building/creative focused/chill games. (Slime rancher FTW :D)

Aside from drawing my other hobbies include all kinds of crafts (sculpting) and p l a n t s .

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

When I Get Home (Hawks x Black!Fem!Reader 18+ Angsty One Shot)

"Can really love a monster like me?"

Pairing: Keigo Takami x Black!Fem!Reader 

Synopsis: In which Keigo realizes how truly lucky he is to have you by his side despite his refusal to open up to you and show you how deep his scars run, so he decides when he finally gets home from his stupid fucking mission, he’ll show you his scars, his heart, and everything more. 

Story Warnings: MAJOR MANGA/ANIME SPOILERS (BEWARE!), Smutty Smut, 18+ (MINORS GTFO), Angsty Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Arguing, Mentions & Use of Marijuana, High Sex, Shower Sex, Possessiveness, Scar Appreciation, Edge Play, Sensitivity, Marking, Biting, Foreplay, Cunnilingus, Deepthroating, Doggystyle, Mating Press, Begging, Vocal, Subby, Feral Hawks, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Facial, Wing-Stroking, Breeding Kink, Aftercare 

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer’s Note: Got another one shot for y'all and it's my first Hawks fic!! I love me some of that birb man. I was listening to Faith Evan's "Soon As I Get Home" & got inspired lol. Enjoy! AND FUCK ENDEAVOR. -Jazz

*********

Keigo hates the rain. 

It reminds him too much of his childhood days when he would aimlessly wander through the wet streets of his childhood home of Kyushu, looking for shelter and a place to lay his head and tired wings, too wet and weak to fly. 

A rainy night like this reminds him too much of those nights where he would escape his home to find solace in the streets, only to get nothing but some firsthand experiences of the hostility and black-heartedness of humanity: crime; abuse; violence. He’d find himself in the slums, surrounded by the degenerates of Kyushu, soaked to the bone in rain, shivering his poor little feathers off. 

But now, sitting and watching the sheets of rain fall along the city, his legs dangling off of one of the highest buildings in downtown Musutafu, he finds the rain a little comforting. Especially given his circumstances. 

He is in his hero gear, gloves, goggles and boots included. He isn’t sure why he decided to change into it before he left the penthouse, but something told him just to do it. After all, a hero’s job is never done. Maybe he just might get lucky and find himself stopping a robbery or a carjacking to distract himself. He’d need a lot of it to make himself feel less like shit for tonight. 

Whenever he closes his eyes, all he sees is you and the hurt in your pretty, brown eyes. Those eyes he wants to stare into forever. How could he hurt you so badly? How could a night that went as well as it could go at a charity ball end in such turmoil for the both of you? 

“Fuck,” he hisses, his head dropping into his hands as the memories of the past few hours begin to rewind in his head: 

“I just wanna know who she is to you,” you declared as you sat on the couch in your shared living room hours later. You were still in your gown from tonight–bright crimson to match Keigo’s wings, your hair curled to perfection and your heels making your legs look fantastic. He stared at you from the kitchen then while you unstrapped your Steve Madden heels, his hands itching to do it for you. 

“Why?” he asked, doing his best to not scoff at the question. “There’s nothin’ to tell, Y/N; I told you that.” As he headed into the kitchen, he loosened his tie with one hand and popped a button to his Armani button-down, glad to be out of his suit jacket and shoes. Though he looked good, he felt like a little kid being forced to dress for church. 

He went into the back where the walk-in pantry and wine cellar is to get himself a much-needed, chilled bottle of Merlot wine. When he returned to the kitchen, he glanced at you from across the marbled kitchen island. You were already staring at him from the living room, your red dress standing out against black couch.“But she isn’t a friend to you?” You asked, sounding agitated at his answer.“Or a coworker? You barely introduced me to her tonight, Keigo.” 

Now Keigo was agitated even though he shouldn’t have been. But damn, you always did this. You always tried to dig into him at the worst possible moments. Especially during a moment where all he’s trying to do is just relax after a night of acting.“Why the fuck does it matter?” He scoffed flippantly. 

Your eyes flared angrily at him.“First of all, don’t talk to me like that,” you sternly said, jabbing one acrylic nail at him.“You don’t have to be like that, okay? We’re just having a conversation here.” 

Keigo turned his back to you to get the corkscrew out the drawer next to the $800 stove with its electric stove top and Stirling steel oven.“No,” he argued, bumping his hip against the drawer to shut it.“What you’re doing right now is putting me on the spot when you know tonight took a lot out of me. You know I’m not built for shit like that wack ass fuckin’ ball, Y/N.” 

You gaped at him, dumbfounded.“I told you we didn’t have to go tonight, Keigo!” you protested, anger evident in your tone.“You wouldn’t listen to me!” 

You crossed those gorgeous legs over each other, the light glowing against your skin still shining with coconut oil. Keigo was initially excited to get you home tonight just to feast on those legs and perhaps fuck you in that dress before stripping it off of you. It was the only thing he had looked forward to for tonight despite being forced by the Hero Commission to attend that stupid charity ball to prove that Japan’s heroes were “conscious of civilians’ needs all over the nation”. 

It isn't that he hated charity. He wasn’t an asshole. He made sure to give his portion to hospitals, animal shelters, and homeless shelters all over Japan. He just hated being forced to put up with the annoying reporters and cameras in his face all night while he pretended to enjoy socializing with people that weren't his cup of tea and his nosey coworkers. 

He especially wasn’t looking forward to it when you had asked to go with him. He hadn’t ever taken you to a ball or any kind of event that was associated with his hero work in the time you’ve been dating him, but you understood the strict ways of the Hero’s Commission and how it was important for Keigo to keep up his “bachelor” image for as long as he could to gain more popularity. 

At least, that’s what you told him when he explained things to you. 

He had figured tonight wouldn’t be a big deal since security kept the paparazzi and reporters outside the venue, so he let you come along and met you inside the building after he was done dealing with the zoo animals with their note pads and microphones on the red carpet. 

However, he quickly realized how bad of a decision that was when his coworkers began swarming, asking him who “the beauty” was sitting with him; how you were; how long you two have been together; where he’s been hiding you at. 

And then, of course, Wanna had to show up. Fucking Kanna! Keigo would have rather had forgotten she existed, but there she was, in the flesh in her skin-tight dress with her publicist. She was a simple fling; a past summer he spent with a model before he met you. That was a different time for him. A time where he didn't give a fuck where he stuck his dick because he was desperate to rid himself of the nightmares for a night in someone’s bed. 

But seeing his past and his hopeful future interact the way you and Kanna did after Kanna made a show of throwing herself at Keigo and making conversation made him want to off himself right there. Especially when he saw your face when he didn’t introduce you to Kanna–disappointment; confusion; hurt. So much hurt. 

But you didn’t understand. And though you never will, Keigo knows that it is for the best.

“Correction: you didn’t have to go,” he cooly stated.“But I do! Are you forgetting I’m pro no. 2? Publicity matters. If I wasn’t there, the whole fuckin’ nation’s eyes would’ve been on me wondering where I was and coughing up shit for the next magazine cover.” 

He huffed to himself as he turned away from you once more to jab the screw into the cork to try and open the wine. When that didn’t work, he flung the cork screw away, nearly breaking it, and took the cork into his mouth. He pulled on the damn thing until it finally popped out of the nozzle. He then spat it out and reached above to grab himself a wine glass from the suspended wine glass rack before pouring himself a much-needed glass and taking a long gulp. 

As soon as the wine was in his system, he felt an inch better, but that anger at himself still chugged in his veins. Anger for not being real with you. For never telling you the truth. For never being the man you deserved. 

A tense silence coated the air between you in his penthouse. Ever since you started visiting since the first night you spent the evening with him in his bed, you’ve been here more than at your own apartment. Keigo doesn’t mind one bit. He feels so at home with you here, but even when you aren’t together, he feels at home with you….so why can’t he make you feel the same way? 

“Keigo, I didn’t mean to upset you,” you finally sigh.“I just felt like tonight you didn’t really want me there. I felt like you were embarrassed with me.” 

His eyes widen at the confession and fear grips him. ‘Oh, no,’ he lamented internally. ’Oh, no, no, no.’ That was the last thing he wanted to make you feel like ever. When he looked over at you, you had a despondent, oh-so sad look on your pretty, beat face. All because of his stupidity. “Why would you think that?” he all but whispers. 

“You barely looked at me,” you reply, your voice soft and defeated. “Barely touched me. Half of your coworkers didn’t even know you had a girlfriend, Kei.” 

Keigo pinched the bridge of his nose. He thought you’d been through this already.“You know why I can’t just go public with my relationships, Y/N. Don’t even start with this shit.” 

You stared at him for a moment, sizing him up, and for a moment, he thought you might start wilding on him. Your silence scared him even more though.“C’mon now,” he tiredly sighed. “It’s been a long night. Can’t we just forget tonight and roll somethin’ up?” He gave you a smile, hoping you’d say yes to some wine, some smoke, and some much-needed TLC after tonight’s events. 

But instead, you gave him a tight-lipped stare with a wall behind your eyes that made him realize that he’d be getting none of that tonight with you. He watched in utter defeat as you rose from the couch and strutted away upstairs to your bedroom, never turning to look back at him. 

When he heard the door slam behind you, he knew he fucked up. Epically. He put his head in his hands, feeling like screaming until his throat was raw, but he knew that would do nothing to fix this. This was a reoccurring problem between you two; one that always seemed to end in arguments and nights where he spent spent either on the couch or out among the skies. 

The truth was he wanted to desperately open up to you. He wanted to tell you why he hated every social event the Hero Commission forced him to attend. 

Why he hated the entire organization he worked for so passionately, but still allowed himself to be manipulated and exploited to save others. 

Why he had trouble sleeping and drinking habits. 

Why he never tells you about the past hookups and flings. 

Why he would sometimes smoke an entire bag of weed to rid himself of those horrible, itching thoughts of the past. 

Why he never visited his mother. 

Why he never visited Dabi in prison and who he was to you outside of a mortal enemy. 

Why he feels like he is undeserving of any success or good thing in his life. 

Why he hates himself. 

Why he doesn’t truly love himself at all. 

But he can’t lose you, and he knows if he were to ever reveal who he is behind the dazzling smile and charm, you would be gone for good. It’s better to keep those wounds closed anyway. 

You didn’t seem to think the same though. A half an hour later, while Keigo was sitting on the same couch you abandoned with his second glass of wine and the balcony door cracked to let in some of that cool spring air, you returned to the living room. You were out of your dazzling outfit from tonight, your face scrubbed free of makeup and only wearing one of his old shirts. You looked amazingly sexy to him like this. 

But he didn’t try to make a move or grab at you as you sat down. He didn’t even look at you. He knew you were there for a reason. You reached a hand out to stroke the burn scar that jet from the side of his jaw down to the column of his neck. “Your burn is healing,” you softly pointed out. “You know, you never really told me what happened to get you that.” 

Your fingers gently stroked his jaw, tentative and tender. “You never asked,” Keigo muttered, sipping on his Merlot. You leaned your head against the back of the couch, giving him a soft-eyed stare. “That’s ‘cause you’d never tell.” 

Keigo did his best to keep calm, but he hated this game you were playing with him. You were crossing a line with him here. He finally looked at you, accusingly.“What are you doing, huh?” He uttered, irked.“Why are you doing this?” 

“Doing what?” You asked. “I’m only asking you a question, Kei.” You truly didn’t know which pissed him off even more. “No, you’re trying to act like you’re asking a question when really, you’re poking the bear and blowin’ my buzz.” 

His tone was harsh and so are his words, but they were enough to coax you to speak your mind. You sat up and hugged your knees to your chest as you stared at him.“You never tell me about your scars.” 

Keigo flinched at your statement and his ghosts of scars littering his body seemed to itch.“That’s not true.” 

“It is,” you protested, your voice strained. You sounded close to tears and that hurt him even more. “You never share anything with me. Nothing about your missions, your friends, your past, nothing. I feel like I barely know you and we’ve been together for a year!” 

The frustration you were feeling was evident in your voice. Keigo sighed, placing his wine glass down on the glass coffee table in front of him. He looked at you, noticing how exhausted you looked aside from your irritated: dark circles under your eyes, a tight jaw.“Y/N, it’s just hard, okay? It’s not that simple to just tell you shit like that.” 

“Even though I have?” you retorted harshly, tilting your head to give him a fixed, sideways stare.“I’ve told you everything about me from the jump, Keigo. Even the things I wouldn’t even tell my closet friend! Don’t I deserve the same transparency?” 

Keigo heaved an exhausted sigh and ran his hands down his face. In the darkness behind his hands, he saw Twice’s body go limb, the blade of Keigo’s sword impaling his body.“I’ve done some fucked up shit,” he whispered into his hands. 

You placed a hand on his back.“I’d never judge you,” you promised. "We all make mistakes and none of us are perfect.” 

‘But you are,’ he thought. You are more than perfect. Way too much for someone like him. “I just can’t, okay?” he huffed, moving away from your touch. He ignored the hurt in your eyes. “Some things are just too painful to go back to, and I’d think with as much as you love and respect me, you’d respect my decision to keep things to myself.” 

“Well, I don’t!” you shouted abruptly, standing up to glare down at him. “So…now what?” 

Keigo stared up at you, feeling a flood of emotions begin to swarm him: gratefulness for your determination and stubbornness; confusion as to why you want someone like him; and anger for your refusal to leave this alone. He just wants to protect you from the messiness of himself. Why can’t you see that? 

The words are out before he can stop them and he regrets having that second glass:“Why are you so hellbent on making me your fuckin’ project, huh?” he cooly asked you, his voice as cold as ice. 

Your glared softened a bit.“What are you talking about?” 

He stood up too, giving you a sharp glare that made all of the color in your face drain.“You look at me as this tragic hero you’re tryna fix, don’t you?” he snapped. “I may have the sob story that almost every fuckin’ pro has, but I’m not a puzzle for you to figure out and I don’t appreciate being seen as that.” 

You gaped at him, your mouth open agape.“Are you serious right now?” you scoffed incredulously.“Keigo, I’m only trying to get to you to know you. And you’re not a project or a puzzle–you’re an amazing, passionate man that I adore and I just want to fuckin’ know you!” 

The scream ripped from your throat after being buried under months of frustration and stress. Keigo could hear it as clear as day. He stood there, shocked, as you began to break down, your hands covering your face as you cried. 

“Is that too much?” you sobbed into the open air.“Why won’t you let me in? Why won’t you let me see you?” He could see every ounce of frustration and hurt that he was causing you begin to take its toll, rolling down your cheeks in fat tears that plopped onto the cherrywood floor below your painted toes. 

Keigo immediately strode over to you and closed the gap between your bodies by wrapping his arms around you. He held you as you quietly sobbed into his chest, gripping his arms as you did. He felt horrible. He had never felt more like shit for making you feel like this.“I’m sorry,” he whispered.“It’s not that I don’t want to, baby bird. But I’m just too ugly.” 

You stared up at him, astounded at his confession. “Just trust me on this, okay? You’d need a fuckin’ team to help clean this mess up. I don’t want to burden you with that.” 

“But you’re not a burden!” you protested, tears in your pretty eyes.“You’re anything but a burden to me, Kei! I just wanna understand you.”

You cupped his face in your hands, forcing him to stare at you.“Why do you feel the need to hide yourself from me?” You implored, begging him to answer. 

He groaned tiredly, gently taking your hands off of his face. “Y/N, just drop it, alright?” he implored. He turned, wanting to walk away from this entire situation. 

You followed, ever the stubborn one. “But why–“ 

“I said drop it!” Keigo bellowed, and his wings flared before he could stop them, his feathers sharpening to points. You frozen immediately, your eyes widening in fear like a deer in headlights. 

He and you were both shocked at Keigo’s sudden change in demeanor. He had never reacted this way towards you, because you were never perceived as a threat to him. But something in his hawk-like instincts saw you as one right now. In that brief moment, you were a villain to him, and that frightened him beyond words. 

Quickly, his muscles loosened and he fluffed his feathers out, lowering his wings down against his back. “Y/N,” he began softly, wanting to apologize. But it was too late. Instantly, you turned around and sprinted away from him until you were up the stairs and slamming the guest room door behind you once again. 

Keigo was left standing there, feeling like the worse person on the planet. And he was. His head began to fill with every negative thought that haunted him at night: You’re a loser. You’re a fake. You’re a horrible boyfriend. You don’t deserve her. You should just leave so she can find someone better. 

So what does Keigo do when his head is his worst enemy? He goes out and patrols. 

He finished his wine before heading upstairs to his bedroom and entering his walk-in closet to suit up. After putting on his hero gear, he passed by your room. Though the door is unlocked, he knocked anyway and waited for your little grunt of acknowledgement before he entered. You were sitting in the black armchair facing the small balcony of your guest room, your legs tucked against your chest. 

You didn't face him when he slid inside. “I’m gonna go out and patrol,” he said, getting right to the point. “You know the alarm code to turn it on, right?” 

“I’ve got it, Keigo,” you muttered numbly. “Just go.” You still didn’t look at him and it pained him greatly. “I’ll be back tonight as soon as I can,” he weakly said, trying to vain to ease the fire he caused. 

“Don’t bother,” you grumbled. “Just go. I’ll see you whenever you get back…if you decide to come back.” 

Realizing you were never going to acknowledge his presence, Keigo silently left your room, his heart breaking in two. He then strode over to the balcony in his living room, slipped out the door he left unlocked specifically for himself, and took off from the terrance, his crimson wings flapping into the night. 

He has been out here since, desperately trying to clear his head as he stares into the night and the rain. He stares up at the sky, watching the droplets fall. "Give me some answers here,” he pleads, not sure who he’s talking to–God; the rain; the universe. 

Almost as if he is heard, his work phone suddenly rings. He usually keeps it in the pocket of his hero gear pants, fully-charged, of course. 

He slips it out and looks down at the caller ID, finding the HPSC chief’s name on his screen. 

“Fuck,” he mutters, rolling his eyes. He knows that whatever it is, it can’t be good. He answers the call with an annoyed, “Hawks.” 

“We need you out and patrolling,” the HPSC chief bluntly said, his voice gruff and aggressive. “We got another tip on the villain that has currently been terrorizing the city since the beginning of the month. A couple of civilians reported that they spotted him near the bridge. We’ve already got Mirko and a couple of others down there patrolling in different areas. We need you to join in case he attacks and civilians may need help.” 

Immediately, Keigo rises from his spot on the building and cracks his neck. “Got it. I’ll be there in five.” As soon as he hangs up, he stretches out his wings and proceeds to head towards the bride that hangs above the Musutafu river, doing his best to fly among the pounding rain and thunder. 

When he finally makes it to the bridge, he finds himself breathless at the chaos: the bridge is completely cut in half, one of the sides slipping down into the murky depths of the blackened water below; vehicles slide across the apsault into the water as their passengers scramble to safety, being escorted by other heroes to the other side of the bridge that is still intact. Yellow, inflatable lifesaver boats bob against the black water below, either to catch anyone who falls or look for bodies. 

The villain has already begun his attack, Keigo realizes. He doesn’t see the guy now, but he knows he’ll have to put everything into stopping him if he’s this powerful and deranged with his quirk. He cannot be Keigo tonight. He has to be Hawks. 

But before he springs any further into action, he quickly flies over to the rocks several feet away from the bridge onto the river’s shore. The only things here are the waves, the rain, and him. His hands shake as he dials your number, tiny, wavering breaths leaving his lips. He doesn’t know why he feels so small and so scared right now, but something about this mission and leaving things with you the way they are don’t sit right with him. 

So he calls you. When you don’t pick up, he expects it, but even so, he wants to hear your voice before he goes into this fight. But at least you’ll be able to hear his. When the beep signals the beginning of his voicemail, he doesn’t have time to think of what to say. He just says it. 

“Hey, it’s me,” he sighs. “Hero's Commission called. They need me down at the bridge in case a villain attacks tonight. Supposedly, he’s been making trouble for over a month now and we’ve been trying to track him.” 

He trails off, his brain trying to think of what else to tell you. Anything he’s sure he’d regret not saying sooner if he happens to kick the bucket tonight. “I’ll be home as soon as I can, but if for some reason that doesn’t happen, just know that I’m so sorry I’m so fucked up.” He presses a fist to his pounding head, gritting his teeth in frustration. “I just don’t tell you about it, about me, because I don’t want you to worry and…” 

He pauses, gnawing at his bottom lip. The words push at his throat, threatening to rip from his chest. 

“Dammit, because I love you,” he declares, strained and his heart pounding as fast as a hummingbird’s wings. “I’m so, so in love with you, and I’m so afraid that if I’m to ever tell you why I am the way that I am, you’ll never love me or want me in the same way. I…” 

He trails off, a sob leaving his mouth. He covers it at first, afraid someone might hear, but no one is around. No one but him. “I’m so scared you’ll leave,” he confesses, his voice wavering. “But I just keep pushing you away from me,” he says, his voice trembling. “I keep fucking this up for myself.” 

The dam behind his eyes breaks and he begins to softly sob to himself, keeping himself as quiet as he can so he doesn’t scare you. How lame to be crying to your girlfriend in a voicemail. 

But as quickly as it came, it vanishes and he pulls himself together. He clears his throat and takes his goggles off to wipe at his eyes. “This voicemail didn’t go the way I wanted it to,” he chuckles dryly. “Just know that this is how I feel about you and I promise I’ll be home.” 

Without another word, he ends the voicemail and stares out at the bridge. The sound of terrified and panicked screams echoes in the wind. Sounds of chaos. 

Keigo balls his hands into tight fists at his sides and pockets his phone. But not before turning it off entirely. 

************* 

“Just take a deep breath, honey,” your friend soothes you over the phone. “Everything’s gonna be okay.” 

“But what if it’s not?” you pitifully sob into the phone. “He’s out there right now, I have no idea where he is, and the last thing on his mind conscious is us fighting!” 

You’re sitting on the couch now in Keigo’s penthouse, still in his shirt. His coffee table is littered with a half-empty glass of wine, his opened bottle of Merlot that you started guzzling down, and bits of weed from the clumsy blunt you rolled for yourself to soothe your nerves. 

None of that helped you, so now you’re here, about to tear your hair out. When Keigo had left, you ventured out of the guest room to rummage through his wine and his weed since both aren’t hands-off for you. “Anything that’s mine is yours, baby bird,” he had told you a year ago when you had spent the night and forgot your toothbrush. He shared his with you with no problem. 

That was the first time you had spent the night with him after a magical date and some even more magical sex. You had fallen hard, and him even harder, since the first day he saw you, in fact. 

You had been walking to work, looking so pretty in your pink blouse and your work slacks with an ass that could stop traffic. It had stopped Keigo dead in his tracks. He was doing day patrols and had caught sight of you, causing him to lose track of his conversation with a police officer about the possibility of new villains. 

He didn’t catch up with you and spit game immediately as he usually did with women he was interested in. First, he flew alongside you at a distance you couldn’t see him to make sure you got to work safely. Then, after realizing you worked as an interior designer, he had pretended he was in need of renovating his agency. 

“I just need a little bit of color, y’know?” he said as he sat in your office, loving your smell and your eyes. “Like this pretty pink you’ve got on.” He eyed your blouse, smirking at the way you froze when you realized he was flirting. 

You had never been flirted with so openly before like that, especially by a pro. And especially by someone as sexy and as charming as Hawks. His boldness and confidence turned you on and you found yourself wanting more of him. When he asked for your card (for business purposes), you had agreed. The renovations for his agency never happened, but a date did. 

That was all just a year ago. Now here you are now, all stress and uncertainty and marijuana smoke in your lungs. “I should’ve never brought any of it up,” you lament. “I feel like a fucking asshole.” 

“Sweetie, you’ve been with the guy for a whole year!” your friend argues. “If he hasn’t opened up to you by now and shown you the him he is without the cameras in his face and his hero facade on, then he isn’t the one for you.” 

You know she’s right, but the idea of leaving Keigo pains you beyond words. You have too much invested into him to just leave when things get tough. You knew what you were getting into the moment you decided to embark on the journey of a romantic relationship with him since he happens to be a hero. 

You told him and yourself you were fine with the late nights where he’d be MIA and the missed calls. The constant wondering and worrying. The sneaking around and being discreet about your relationship for the sake of his status. 

All you want in return is some closeness. Some vulnerability. Something to make you feel like you’re wanted and cherished the way you want and cherish him. But he’s never given you any. You sometimes question if you’re asking for too much from him, knowing how hard his job is and how stressed he can be. 

But even so, the yearning to know his secrets still pushes at you every time he brushes off a new scar or tells you vague events of his past that end in him not wanting to talk about it anymore. And though you respect him enough to leave it alone, you know you need more. 

“Has he even told you he loves you?” your friend asks, bringing you back down to earth. 

You flush at her words. “We haven’t gotten there yet,” you reply, almost embarrassed by the fact. “I’ve been holding back telling him because I know his job is hard and…” 

‘And I don’t wanna scare him,’ you think. You know this is the longest relationship Keigo has had. You as well since your past relationships had never gone past a couple months or sex. But with Keigo, it’s different. You feel safe with him. You can be wholeheartedly and undoubtedly yourself. You love him, but you keep it inside. All to keep him comfortable. 

“Now what if I don’t get the chance to tell him at all?” you ask, quickly beginning to cry again. Every word left unspoken begins to bubble at your throat, coming out in anguished sobs. 

“Okay, stop,” you friend firmly says. “First off, put down any alcohol or smoke ‘cause it’s making you paranoid.” You eye the wine and the weed littering the coffee table. 

“Second, Keigo is going to come home to you. He just went out for a breather and he’ll be back. Plus, he’s a smart guy and he’s a pro! He knows how to get himself out of any kind of situation.” You listen to your friends word, taking deep breaths to calm yourself. “I guess you’re right,” you weakly say. 

“I am right,” she states with conviction. “Just rest for now and when he comes home, give him time to decompress. Then tomorrow, you can apologize and talk about what happened. Simple, right?” 

You nod, but even as you try to persuade yourself that your friend’s words are true, you still feel that twist in your gut at the idea of tomorrow. What if he isn’t here tomorrow? What if you pushed him so hard that he left? Or what if something worse has happened? 

“Just sleep, honey.” Your friend’s words drift to your ear again like a prayer; beacons in the void of darkness. “Everything is going to be okay.” 

Though you don’t really believe her, you do as she says anyway. After she hangs up, you clean up the living room and venture back to your guest room to sleep off your frustrations. The effects of the wine and the blunt combined with the aftermath of crying hit you immediately, making it easy to drift off to sleep. 

You sleep for over three hours until you awaken in the darkness of the guest room. Groggily, you look at the clock: 2:04 AM. Immediately, you reach for your phone which you put on ‘do not disturb’. There, on the screen, are one missed call and one voicemail from Keigo. 

Your heart skips a beat and the fogginess of sleep leaves your head as fight the urge to ignore it. This could be important. You click on the message and put it on speaker, placing your phone flat on the bed. You bring your knees to your chest and hug yourself, tucking your nose into Keigo’s shirt collar and breathing in his cologne. 

The beginning of the message is disoriented and loud, the sound of the wind cutting through before you hear Keigo’s beautiful, wonderful voice. As soon as you hear him, you’re calm. 

“Hey, it’s me. Hero's Commission called. They need me down at the bridge in case a villain attacks tonight. Supposedly, he’s been making trouble for over a month now and we’ve been trying to track him.” 

Your heart drops into your stomach. A villain attack. Of course! That’s why he isn’t home yet. “Oh, my God,” you fearfully whisper, covering your mouth. 

“I’ll be home as soon as I can, but if for some reason that doesn’t happen, just know that I’m so sorry I’m so fucked up. I just don’t tell you about it because I don’t want you to worry and…” 

He trails off and you swear, your soul leaves your body as you anticipate his next words. But nothing could’ve ever prepared you for them. As soon as you hear those three little words that mean so much to so many, your breath hitches and you come back to life, feeling like you’ve been dead all night: 

“Dammit, because I love you. I’m so, so in love with you, and I’m so afraid that if I’m to ever tell you why I am the way that I am, you’ll never love me or want me in the same way. I…I’m so scared you’ll leave.” 

His voice begins to tremble and waiver, hitching as he begins to cry. You’ve never heard him cry before. Your heart aches for him, your body desperate to be against his. 

“But I just keep pushing you away from me. I keep fucking this up for myself.” 

“No,” you whisper, beginning to cry yourself. The fact that he’s felt this way for so long, suffering in silence, is a reality that is worse than anything you could’ve imagined. 

Finally, he clears his throat and you know that the end of the voicemail is near. “This voicemail didn’t go the way I wanted it to. Just know that this is how I feel about you and I promise I’ll be home.” 

When the voicemail ends, you sit there in silence, the newfound information processing in your brain. All you can think about is one thing that you still cannot believe is a fact as true as day: ’He loves me. He really loves me.’  

Suddenly, everything makes sense and the world is clearer to you. All the uncertainty and doom you felt have vanished, replaced with a fluttering in your heart that belongs only to Keigo. Delirious with need, you jump out of bed and immediately go to his bedroom to search for his sweatpants and a hoodie. ‘I have to go find him. I need to see him.’ 

You don’t know where he is or where he could be calling from, but if there is a villain attack then social media will have the first place to search. As you venture into Keigo’s master bedroom to search for clothes, preparing to fight the rain and the city’s chaos to find him, a sound stops you. 

It is the sound of the click of the lock to the balcony doors. Then the sound of the doors as they slide back. 

“Hawks,” you immediately whisper to yourself. Then, louder, “Hawks!”, as you immediately race out of the bedroom to the living room just in time to see him walking through the doors after landing on the terrace. 

“Keigo!” you gasp, every emotion hitting you at once watching him in the dark living room. The only light is from the big, silver moon illuminating Keigo while the rest of him is shrouded in darkness. 

“Hey,” he tiredly greets you as he shuts the door behind him. You feel like God as blessed you bringing him home in one piece. Now, you can really tear into his ass. “God, why didn’t you call and tell me you’d be back?” you snap, not daring to let him rest for a second. “I’ve been worried sick about you! I was gonna…” 

Your words die in your throat when the overhead light that automatically switches on according to body movement flicks on, coating the room in a golden glow that shines right on Keigo and the fresh bruises and scratches he’s sporting. He doesn’t look that bad, but you can tell his right eye socket is swelling and his wings look ragged and worn “Keigo,” you softly gasp, the word almost getting caught in your throat. That’s all you can begin to say. 

“You listen to my voicemail?” he asks curiously, but not rudely. You nod slowly, mouth still open in awe. “A villain destroyed the bridge and nearly had every vehicle on there goin’ into the river. He has the ability to extend his limbs, so he made a couple of other extended arms and legs to go along with ‘em.” He huffs in annoyance. “Motherfucker looked like Doc Ock from Spiderman.” 

“Is everyone okay?” you softly ask. 

“After a couple of my coworkers and I got to the guy, yeah,” Keigo replies, kicking off his boots. He places his goggles on a nearby table. “First, I had to fetch as many bodies as I could that the fucker kept flingin’ over the bridge to taunt me. Gang Orca and Eraserhead took care of the rest of the civilians once I caught up to the villain. Then it was just us vs. him. Once Eraserhead got near him, he took the fucker's quirk and the cops put him in handcuffs.” 

“That’s good,” you reply, relief filling you. Mostly at the fact that he’s still here, alive and breathing. Silence falls between you, tense and filled with unspoken words. You nervously wriggle your fingers, feeling small under Keigo’s unwavering gaze. “Listen, Kei,” you nervously begin. “I’ve been goin’ crazy in here ever since you left and I’m so, so sorry for–“ 

Keigo suddenly puts up a hand to silence you. Your words abruptly cut off and you button your lip, your heart pounding in your chest. You wonder if he can hear how loud it is because you sure can. It is pumping wildly in your ears, making you even more of a nervous wreck. 

“Since you got my voicemail, you probably already know a lot of what I’m about to say, but I’m goin’ to tell you properly because you deserve it.” He takes a deep breath, preparing himself. You stay silent and patient, waiting for him to come to grips with whatever he is fighting. “I suppose I should be grateful that eight-armed dickhead decided to cause commotion tonight,” he dryly chuckles. “I had went out to clear my head; to distract myself. What better way to do all that than to kick some ass and save some lives?” 

He unzips his jacket and lets it fall to the floor, revealing his shirt and toned arms underneath. “But while I was doin’ all of that, other than thinking about stopping that villain and saving the innocent lives of all of those people, all I could think about tonight was you.” 

His gaze soften as he looks at you. Your heart pumps a bit faster. 

“I thought to myself, ‘when I finally put this motherfucker behind bars, when my mission is finally done, I’m going home’.” 

He steps toward you, eyes still locked with yours, never wavering. It makes you tremble in your position. “‘And as soon as I get home, I’m falling to my knees, begging for forgiveness, and showing my baby all of me and more because she fucking deserves it’.” 

He takes another two steps toward you before suddenly dropping to his knees in front of you. “So this is me doin’ all of that now. Plus, showing you how much I love you.” 

He leans toward you and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him so his face is pressed into your stomach. You stare down at him in awe, unable to speak. You’re afraid that if you do, the moment will disappear and so will he. 

“I never said I before,” Keigo continues, “because I was afraid it wasn’t the right time or I’d end up fucking everything up for myself. Plus, loving someone always seems to backfire on me.” He strokes up your thigh, holding onto your hip. “So I kept it in, just like everything I haven’t told you yet.” 

His hands, so careful yet so strong, trail up your hips and ball into his shirt, gripping the fabric. When his hands and shoulders begin to tremble, you realize he’s crying. You’ve never seen him cry before. It is a sight you never want to see again. 

“I’m a mess, Y/N,” he tearfully says. “When we met for the first time, I never wanted you to see any of that. I didn’t even want this to turn into what it is now, but I’m so, so grateful it hasn’t.” He looks up at you, eyes red and wet with tears. “I’m so happy you didn’t leave.” 

Your heart wrenches at the sight of your boyfriend–so sad and so broken. How is a person as bright-eyed and confident as Hawks also someone like this? He must have hid all of this from you for some time. You wrap your arms around his neck, cupping the back of his head in one of your hands. “Keigo, I’d never leave you.” Your fingers caress his blonde curls, stroking his head softly. “I promise.” 

“You can’t promise me that,” he croaks, shaking his head. “How do you know you won’t get tired of me? How do you know I won’t scare you off?” 

“Keigo, you’re scaring me now,” you confess, feeling your own fresh set of tears beginning to make an appearance. “I’m scared we won’t make it because you refuse to open up to me.” 

Keigo’s expression changes to one of confusion, his eyes narrowing as he scowls at you. “So you’re telling me that if I tell you all about my childhood, you promise you won’t leave?” he asks, a bite in his voice. “If I tell you about the abuse, the trauma, the shit I witnessed from my own parents, being stripped of my name when the Hero’s Commission picked me up, learning that the same man who saved me and inspired me to become a hero is a fuckin’ abuser, you’d stay?” 

You stare down at him, dumbfounded and horrified. You never knew any of this, though you did know the part about Endeavor since it was all over the news. But that other stuff? Keigo kept entirely to himself, leaving you in the dark. 

“What about the scars?” He moves away from you slightly to strip himself of his shirt, revealing a very impressive, toned upper body and a slew of scars–some new and some healed. “All the training I forced to undergo by the Hero Commission. Some that have barely healed from nearly dying during missions. This burn here that I got tryna save a fuckin’ villain.” 

He points at the burn on his jaw and your stomach lurches. “Twice?” you ask, your eyes wide. “You tried to save Twice?” You know a little bit about this event, mostly because it was publicized everywhere and Keigo was forced to tell you some of what happened after he had nightmares. But now that a year has gone by and most of the LOV have been arrested, it has become old news. People have moved on. 

But Keigo obviously hasn’t. He visibly cringes at the sound of Twice’s name, the trauma still fresh. “And what about him?” He demands, his voice cracking. “What about the fact that I fucking killed him?” 

“Keigo, he was a villain,” you firmly respond, taking his hands into yours. “You gave me a chance. He didn’t take it.” 

But this isn’t enough to calm Keigo down. He crumbles again, his lips trembling and eyes welling with tears. You instantly wrap your arms around him and hold him, cradling his head. “I feel like a fucking monster, Y/N,” he sobs into your stomach, gripping you for dear life. “I feel like I’m drowning and I’m gonna pull you right in with me. I don’t want that. I just wanna make you happy…” 

His fingers slide under your shirt to expose your stomach and he presses his face there, wetting your skin with tears. “Can you really love a monster like me?” he whispers against your skin. 

He begins to cry again, his body wracked with sobs and soft whines that tear at your soul. A lone tear drips down your face as you continue to cradle your boyfriend like he’s a child. And right now he is–he’s the exact neglected, abused, broken child he alluded to minutes before. You picture him as a little boy, roaming the streets of his home, doing anything and everything to survive because no one cared enough to care for him. You’ll make sure that never happens again. You swear it. 

Gently pushing him away from your stomach, you take his hands into yours and join him on the floor. He stares at you in awe, eyes red and face wet. “I have two answers for you,” you gently coo, smoothening his hair back. “To answer your first question is yes, I promise I’ll stay as long as you show me everything.” 

You cup his jaw and caress the burn scar. His eyes flutter closed at your touch, tears sparkling on his blonde lashes. “I want it all, Keigo: the scars; the bruises; the wounds. Tell me every secret you have; every dream and aspiration; every fear that keeps you up at night.” 

You lean in to kiss the burn then his bruised eye. “Let me take all of it, especially your pain.” You continue to kiss his face before trailing down to his neck and shoulders; his arms and collarbone; his chest and pert nipples. You kiss every bruise, scar, and burn you find, your fingers trailing over them. You treasure every soft moan and gasp he lets out, happy to have them over sobs and whines of anguish. 

“I don’t wanna fix you–I just wanna water you; nurture you; watch you grow the way you’ve done me.” You look at him then, cupping his face in your hands. “I just wanna love you the way you deserve to be loved.” 

His eyes widen an inch at your confession. “Yes, I love you, Keigo,” you softly giggle. “That’s my answer to your second answer: yes, I can love a monster. But you’re not a monster, Keigo. You’re just a human, even with these big ass wings.” 

You gently tickle a wing with your fingers, making him laugh under his breath. “You’re an intelligent, strong, beautiful man who deserves every inch of my love,” you whisper to him as you lean toward him, nuzzling your face into his neck. You breathe in his scent of sweat and cologne, committing it to memory. 

Keigo holds you to him, cradling your head to his neck. His hold on you is fierce and passionate, validating his feelings for you even before he utters them. “I really love you, you know that?” he whispers against your ear. Your heart jumps and a joyful grin stretches across your face. You look up at him, tracing every single feature of his pretty face with your eyes. “I do now,” you softly reply. 

He smiles at this, the act finally reaching his beautiful eyes. You trail your thumb over his bottom lip, your stomach curling at the plumpness of it. “Wanna smoke?” you ask, raising a playful eyebrow. 

At the mention of rolling up, Keigo’s wings ruffle excitedly and you giggle. “I thought you’d never ask,” he sighs, sounding like he needs it. With no hesitation, you help him to his feet and proceed to set up. You ask him to roll the blunt which he does, his fingers and tongue working expertly to tighten the blunt in a way you can’t. But then again, Keigo has always been good with his hands and mouth. 

After he finishes, you begin to pass the blunt back and forth between each other as you play your music from your phone, the sound of SZA filling the living room. Soon, you’re feeling light as a feather and high as a kite. Your body and mind are relaxed, especially feeling the solid chest of your man underneath you as you lie against him. 

The blunt lays on the ashtray on the coffee table now, smaller now after use. You reach for it and pinch it between your index and thumb before taking a puff, the end of the blunt turning red like an angry firefly. As soon as the smoke hits your lungs, you’re falling deeper into that sea of bliss. You look up at Keigo, finding his eyes fluttered closed. At first you think he's sleep, but his arm circling around your waist tells you different. “Feelin’ good, Kei, baby?” you coo to him, your eyes flickering between his eyes and his lips. You desperately want to kiss them. 

“Mmm,” he hummed, a content smile on his pretty face. The sight makes you giggle. You start to laugh even more when he suddenly circles his other arm around you and pulls you into his lap. “Don’t want you to leave,” he mutters to you as he grips your waist, firmly holding you to him. 

You wrap your arms around his neck, kissing his forehead. “You have me,” you whisper to him. He looks up at you, eyes slightly red and glinting with adoration for you. “And you have me,” he replies, soft conviction in his voice. 

“Promise?” you utter hopefully. He slowly nods, staring at you the same way you do him: intensely; adoringly. Your fingers trail up his chest, his heart pounding underneath your fingertips. ‘He’s real,’ you think. ‘And all mine. And I need him.’ 

The want and need for Keigo and his body dawns on you quickly, quickly taking its toll on you. Your nipples harden and your thighs squeeze together as you begin to strip him out of his clothes with your eyes. “Prove it then,” you demand, need crawling into your voice. “Prove how much you love me. Prove to me that things will be different.” 

Realization alights behind Keigo’s eyes and his expression darkens slightly. It excites you. He coaxes you off of his lap before standing to meet you. “Come here,” he coos, already taking your hand in his. “Let’s get cleaned up.” You nod, excitement and anticipation filling your core with warmth as he leads you up the steps and straight down the hallway to his master bedroom. 

Keigo has over four bathrooms in his penthouse: in his bedroom, guest room, down the hall, and living room where his washer and dryer sit closest to the kitchen. The bathroom in his bedroom is by far the most beautiful, complete with marbled sink counters, a whirlpool tub, and a walk-in shower with a sliding glass door and one of those shower heads that make the water look like a rainforest waterfall. 

You watch, trembling in anticipation as Keigo gets the shower ready. He makes sure it’s at the right temperature to warm you up but not burn you before turning to face you, lust in his eyes. He then begins to undress himself, taking everything off until his hero gear is on the floor and he’s standing before you, completely bare. 

You’re silent, unable to speak. You’re too tongue-tied at the sight of your man’s body displayed before you like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Keigo is not extremely buff, but he still has some impressive muscles, including well-defined abs and a V-line that trails down to his tufts of darker blonde curls that you desperately want to venture towards. His gorgeous, muscled body is unfortunately scarred as well, fresh bruises and cuts coating his skin from the mission he just completely tonight. In addition, he still has scars from where Dabi burned him a year ago, the skin tight and pruned. You feel tears prick your eyes, realizing that it’s quite possible that you would’ve never seen his gorgeous body again. 

You close the gap between you and lay your hands flat on his chest. With your eyes locked with his, you begin to kiss every single old scar and bruise that adorns his soft, tanned skin. You’re careful with those that look fresh, making sure to skip those and focus on the ones that have been on Keigo’s body for months if not years. 

As you do, you find pleasure in the tiny sighs and groans that leave his lips, knowing he’s enjoying this TLC. It makes you feel good to know you’re making him feel good. You want him to know you enjoy every single part of him, no matter if he’s scarred or not. You think he’s beautiful. 

Finally, he pulls you away and gives you an excitably, darkened stare. You know what he wants now. Quickly, you go to strip yourself of his shirt, but he stops you. “Let me,” he gently orders, and you let your arms go limp at your sides. He presses his lips to yours and pulls you into a passionate, wet kiss as his hands slide up under his shirt. 

You softly moan into his mouth as you feel his hand on your bare skin. “You look so fuckin’ good in my clothes,” he whispers against your lips. “Even when you’re pissed at me, you still wear my shit.” 

He brings the shirt up more, exposing your panties, stomach, and bare breasts to him. He groans as he pulls the shirt up over your head and flings it across the bathroom before ducking down to play with your tits. He latches one of the hardened peaks of your nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around and around. 

You moan a little louder, your hands grasping his shoulders. “Missed you,” you softly utter, biting back another moan as his tongue teases your hardened nipple. He peers up at you, smiling. “I missed you too, baby,” he whispers. “So much.” He presses his lips to your other breast, his fingers sliding down your sides. “M’so sorry for everything. I never should’ve pushed you away. I–“ 

“Hush,” you say, pressing a hand to his cheek. He looks up at you, regret in his eyes. “Show me how sorry you are now.” He doesn’t need to be told twice. Immediately, he stands and takes your hand to walk you into the steaming-hot shower. As soon as you are under the jets of hot water, Keigo pushes you against the tiled wall and presses a passionate kiss to your lips. 

You moan softly against his lips, wrapping your arms around him to bring him closer to you; as close as he can possibly be. He puts one hand above your head against the wall as he begins to grind his hips into yours, his pelvis pressing delightfully up against your clit. You whimper into his neck as he continues to move against you, his lips caressing your neck and that spot behind your ear that makes your pussy wet and your nipples tingle. 

“You’re so fucking pretty,” he coos. “So beautiful…so sexy…and you’re so mine.” 

The feeling is too much. It overpowers you, making you delirious with need. “I’m all yours,” you practically sob. “Please, Kei; don’t tease me.” 

Keigo moves his head away from your neck to smirk at you. “And so impatient,” he chuckles. His hand sneaks between your thighs where he presses his index and middle fingers between your pussy lips. You gasp at the sensation of his touch, your clit jumping against his palm. “Naughty girl. You’re already wet for me,” he groans. “I suppose you’ve been waitin’ long enough though. Time to show you how sorry I am.” 

After sucking on his fingers, he proceeds to get onto his knees and press his lips against your inner thigh before showering your pussy in kisses that quickly turn into open-mouthed sucks and licks that have you seeing stars. Your hands grab his shoulders, gripping them tightly as his tongue licks every bit of your pussy up, his lips pillowy-soft against your clit. “Fuck, Keigo,” you moan, leaning your head back against the shower wall. “You’re so good at this.” 

Keigo moans into your pussy in response, lashing his tongue in different shapes across your clit. When he suddenly hooks your leg over his shoulder, you squeak in surprise. He looks up at you, eyes shining and a love-drunk look on his face. “I’ve got you, baby,” he coos, staring up at you lovingly. “You know I do, don’t you?” 

Then he’s diving back in, one hand gripping your thigh hiked up to his ear and the other holding you steady by your hip. You’re losing your shit, one hand in his hair and the other gripping his shoulder for dear life. “Shit, Kei!” you cry out, your cries of ecstasy echoing off the shower walls. “Fuck, baby, that feels so…oh, my God!” 

Meanwhile, Keigo won’t shut the fuck up about how amazing and pretty your pussy is. “You have the prettiest fuckin’ pussy, baby,” he coos into your clit, his words slightly muffled. “You’re always so open n’ wet for me. How could I ever neglect this cunt?” 

His words ignite something in you that have you crumbling, all self-control abandoned. The porn-worthy sounds slipping from your lips are drowned out from the sound of the shower as Keigo continues to go waaaaay down south, never letting up. It doesn't take long for that knot in your core to begin to tighten, signaling your oncoming orgasm. “I’m close!” you whimper. “So close! Don’t stop!” 

“Mmm-hmm,” Keigo mumbles into your pussy, still flicking that magical tongue. But when he inserts a finger and curls it up against your G-spot, you just about see God. “Go ahead and cum for me, baby,” he practically begs you, his finger encouraging you further. “Cum for me. Cum all over my face.” 

Your eyes close, plummeting you into darkness as your peak begins to dawn closer and closer the faster Keigo’s finger fucks you. “Please, baby,” he pleads. “I need you. Need all of you.” He dives back into your pussy, sucking on your clit softly in time with his finger stroking your insides and your G-spot. 

Finally, finally, you fall off that hill and cum all over your man’s face as requested. Keigo moans and whines in appreciation as you scream his name, nearly losing your voice. He grips your hips with such force that you can’t move as he licks you clean, his tongue carefully licking over and around your sensitive pussy. When he finally pulls away, his hair is wet and his face gleams with your cum. 

You help him up and clean his face off, running your thumbs over his plump lips. “That was amazing,” you breathlessly giggle. Keigo smiles proudly at you, happy with the praise. “I try.” 

You press a passionate kiss to his mouth, rendering him speechless afterwards. “Now, it’s your turn.” A newfound boldness courses through your veins as you press down onto his shoulders, forcing him to sit down on the bench. “You sure, baby bird?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “You don’t have to–“ 

“Nah,” you interrupt him firmly. “I’m gettin’ that dick down my throat and you’re gonna enjoy every single second of it.” You settle down onto your knees in between his thighs, your hands trailing up his legs. “My amazing, intelligent hero deserves it.” 

Keeping your eyes locked with his, your nails gently graze up and down his thighs, earning a shiver and a delicious moan that escapes his luscious mouth. His cock quickly hardens even more between his legs, dripping with pre-cum all for you. Without wasting anymore time, you wrap your hand around the base of his length and begin to light peppering his dick in kisses, playing close attention to the sensitive spot at the underside of his cock. 

“Fuck,” he whispers, eyes fluttering closed. You stare up at him, his dickhead in your face, near your lips. “You deserve all of this, honey,” you coo before you wrap your lips around his cock. You take your time with sucking him off, starting by sucking on the pink dickhead as you slowly pump your hand up and down, spitting onto his dick if necessary. 

By the time you take him deeper into your mouth, Keigo’s dick is nice and slick with water and your spit, allowing him to easily slip into your mouth. You continue to pump him up and down, stroking the rest of the length that you can’t fit in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his head and along his dick, loving how warm his skin is, his masculine scent, and the taste of salt on your tastebuds. You commit all of it to memory, including his beauty face etched in pleasure. 

You take a bit more of him, your mouth stretching around his thick cock, but you don’t do it enough to hit the back of your throat. Not yet. Keigo is in his world. His blonde brows are knitted together in concentration while his chest heaves up and down. His hand immediately goes to your hair as he watches you bob your head up and down on his cock. “Just like that,” he hisses. “Such a good girl. So good for me.” 

His hand travels to the back of your head and gently pushes you down, causing his dick to slip farther into your mouth. You feel him hit the back of your throat finally, causing you to gag and your eyes to water. He keeps his hand on your head as you begin to gag on his cock, your throat pumping up and down, back and forth. 

Despite the year you’ve been with him, you still can’t believe how big he is. He practically fills your throat, stretching out the wet, inner walls until your jaw aches and your eyes begin to tear. But you do it for him and those lovely sounds dripping from his lips. “Fuck, baby bird!” He groans through gritted teeth. “So good! Such a good little slut for me!” His toes curl beside your naked thighs, his hand in your hair and gripping it tightly. 

You continue to give him the Glock Glock 3000, taking extra care to fondle his balls with your other hand. He loves that. He’s a whimpering, whining mess as you continue your work, working him so good that he’s seeing stars. You want to show him you can take everything. 

Finally, he growls deep in his throat and wrenches your head away from his dick. “Enough,” he firmly says. You gasp as you pop off of his dick, a string of saliva following him in his wake as he pulls his dick out of your mouth that droops from your bottom lip. 

You softly pant, catching your breath but also to calm yourself down. You’re becoming hornier by the second. Your pussy is wet and wanting, desperate to be filled, leaving you to rub your thighs together to give yourself some relief. Keigo’s eyes are blown with lust, filling you with excitement and a slight twinge of fear. “Get up,” he demands. 

You oblige and stand on shaky legs. You fortunately don’t have to move on your own. Keigo does the work for you. In an instant, he is behind you with his hands on your hips, forcing you to bend forward. With a squeak, your hands fly to the shower wall and your back arches, presenting your ass and dripping cunt to your boyfriend. 

“So fuckin’ pretty,” he growls, giving your ass a sharp smack that echoes off the shower walls. “Yeah, you like this, don’t you?” He hisses, spanking you again. “Nobody could ever make you feel like this, could they?” 

You whimper, the stinging of his spanks making your pussy tingle. He spanks you again, harder this time, and you yelp. “I didn’t hear that, gorgeous,” he snickers. “Louder for me.” You whimper when you suddenly feel his cock slide against your pussy, nudging your sensitive clit. 

“Yes!” you wail out. “No one makes me feel like you do, daddy!” You turn to look at him, arching your pretty ass further into him and whining your hips around for him. “Please, please fuck me, Kei. I can’t take much more!” Keigo watches your hips and ass, slowing growing more and more needy by the second. 

“Fuck!” The word leaves his lips in a hiss. He instantly grabs your hips, lines his dick up, and sinks inside of you. Finally home. A gasp falls from your open mouth as he sinks in deeper, stretching you out. No matter how many times you do this with him, you’ll always feel full with him. 

Keigo holds your hips and slowly begins to roll his hips into you, sending your clit into hyperdrive with pleasure. You’re a mess at this point, grinding your ass back into him despite his slow pace. “Keigo,” you whine in need. 

Keigo chuckles, still rolling his hips, his dick pumping in and out of you slowly. “Patience, baby. I wanna make it last.” He suddenly lets go of your hips and grabs your tits, squeezing them in his palms and emitting gasps from you. 

“You’re mine, you understand?” He growls into your ear. “You’re. Fuckin’. Mine.” Each word is punctuated by sudden, rough trusts that make your eyes blow and your mouth fall open in a wordless, pleasured O. Now Keigo begins to go faster, snapping his hips forward as the water continues to fall around you in sheets. The only sounds are of the water hitting the shower floor, skin slapping against wet skin, and your breathless moans and gasps of pleasure as Keigo continues to pummel your cunt. You go to rub your clit as he does, but he shoos it away and does it for you, rubbing the bud in time with his relentless thrusts. “No, no, no, baby,” he coos into your ear. “I told you you're mine. Which means this is my pussy too.” 

His other hand suddenly moves to your leg and lifts it up, just enough for you to feel his cock sink deeper into your walls. “Oh, my God!” you holler, your head falling back in pure ecstasy as Keigo continues to fuck you silly with your leg up and his hand on your clit. “Shit, Kei, I’m gonna cum soon!” 

You can feel your orgasm quickly building, that knot in your core about to snap. Keigo moves his body closer to yours and pushes it against the wall, causing your tits to squish erotically against the wet shower door. “Do it, baby,” he growls into your ear, his breath fanning over your face. “Cum for me. Cum all over this dick. Your dick.” 

His words send you over the edge. You tumble down that hill hard and fall into a sea of bliss as your second orgasm washes over you. All you can say is his name and God’s name in vain as you cum all over his cock that has begun to replace its fast pumps with slow strokes, Keigo’s hips doing wonders behind you. 

Keigo holds you to him as you continue to cum, breathlessly moaning into your ear. “You’re so good for me, baby,” he whispers, peppering the side of your face in kisses. “So tight…gonna make me cum soon too…” 

“Do it,” you beg him. “Please cum for me. Cum inside me, daddy.” 

You’re delirious with need for him, all logic going out the window. You and Keigo have always been careful, leading to him usually pulling out before cumming even though you’re on the pill. But after tonight, you want to feel all of him. 

“No.” Keigo’s voice is firm and deep, almost a monstrous growl. It renders you speechless as he suddenly slips out of you and places your leg down. Before you can process what’s happening, he twirls you around and scoops you up into his arms. 

You squeak in surprise at the sudden action, but say nothing as he slides the bathroom door open and exits the shower, causing the water to cut off. He is swift and quick as he makes the trip from his bathroom to his master bedroom. He wastes no time tossing you onto the bed. You gasp as you bounce slightly against the mattress, still wet and naked from the shower. 

When you finally settle onto your back, you stare up at him in confusion. “What are you doing?” you ask, a little giggle leaving your lips. But you stop when you get a good look at him. 

In the dim light of the moon that shines through the window, Keigo looks less than human: his eyes are a dark gold and glowing brightly as he stares down at you, his crimson-colored wings fluffier and frazzled as if someone has touched them too much and caused them to become oversensitive. Gone is the Keigo you know, replaced with a man starving for release and you. 

He suddenly gets on top of you, pinning your hands over your head with one hand. “Here’s what’s gonna happen, baby girl,” he softly growls to you. “I’m gonna put your pretty ass into a mating press. Then I’m gonna fuck you deep, hard, and fast until I spray my cum all in that pretty lil’ pussy of yours. Then, when I’m done, I’m gonna pull out and spray you in the rest of it so people will know you’re mine. And you’re gonna like all of it and take all of it like my good little slut.” 

He leans down so his nose is pressed against yours, his face like a full moon emerging in the sky. “Is that clear?” he gutturally asks. 

Fear and arousal curl in your stomach, chasing each other around so one can be dominating your body and mind. You don’t know how you manage to speak–your mouth is so dry–but you do. A tiny “yes, daddy” leaves your lips as your pussy throbs and begs for him. “I understand,” you whisper. “Please fuck me.” 

That is all Keigo needs. In a blink of an eye, your legs are thrown over his shoulder and he’s sinking his cock deep inside of you. A loud moan leaves your lips as he fills you to the brim, so deep that his balls hit your ass and his pelvis presses against your sensitive clit. You swear he’s never been so deep inside of you before. You can almost feel him in your stomach! 

Keigo leans down so you’re face to face, chest to chest. “Can you feel me, baby?” he coos against your lips. “Is it too much for you? Am I fillin’ that poor pussy up too much?” 

You whine in response, your hands gripping his shoulders. He wolfishly grins down at you, loving your submissive, dumb little state. “Don’t worry; you can take it. You’re a big girl, right?” He begins to rut into you, hips snapping against yours and cock pumping deep into your pussy. “Right?” he growls, purposely angling his hips to aim at your G-spot. 

You’re seeing the entire galaxy now, your pussy spasming around his dick that mercilessly strokes your walls. When he begins to slow down to tease you, you open your mouth to cuss him out, but all that leaves is a high-pitched, incoherent whine. Keigo laughs right in your face, loving this shit.

‘Bastard,’ you think, the only clear thought in your dicked-down, fucked-out mind that isn’t the pleasure or the scent of your boyfriend. ‘Two can play at this game, bitch.’ 

You then take two of your fingers and proceed to lightly stroke Keigo’s feathers, taking extra care to touch each overly-sensitive, buttery-soft feather. It is enough to have Keigo’s eyes widening and his body tensing. You smirk up at him and his reaction, continuing to torture him. “Somethin’ wrong, daddy?” you innocently coo. 

You then move your hands to the tips of his feathers and stroke them one at a time, running the tips of your fingers over each of them. Keigo lets out a high-pitched whine that has your pussy spasming and clenching around his cock. “D-don’t!” He cutely begs. “Gonna cum if you do that!” 

“Then you’d better fuck me then.” You lock your legs tighter around his head and your hands grip him tighter, locking him in. “Cum inside of me,” you demand. “Cum with me.” 

Keigo doesn’t need to be told twice. He snaps back into position and continues to pummel your cunt, his hips snapping forward again and again, driving his cock deeper into you. You gasp and moan beneath him, egging him on as you bounce against the mattress that shakes with the force of his thrusts. “Yes, baby!” you moan loudly, your voice bouncing off the walls. “That’s it! Keep going! I’m so close!” 

You continue to stroke his wings, up and down, in circles, in aimless patterns that start to lose shape as he starts fucking you harder. His hands suddenly take your legs off his shoulder and pin your open thighs down as far as they’ll go as he settles deeper into you, practically mounting you now. 

“You see it now?” he hums hotly against your mouth. “You see how much I love you? How much I need you?” You can’t answer him because he is now kissing you–hard, passionate, and rough. It has you seeing stars and barely catching your breath as he continues to fuck you into the mattress. 

Finally, you begin to feel it: his cock swelling inside of you, signaling the beginning of his end. You look up at Keigo and find his eyes locked with yours, blonde locks in his face and sweat coating his body. “Gonna cum,” he warns. “Gonna fill you up, baby. Fill you with all of me. Gonna fuckin’ nut…” 

You deliriously nod as your pussy spasms and your clit jumps, your third orgasm of the night present. “Me too!” you cry out. “Cum with me, Kei! Fill me up! Make me yours!” 

Keigo doesn’t need you to say anything more. He swoops down to press his mouth to yours in an open-mouthed, tongue-swirling kiss, eating the sounds of your pleasure up as you finally cum all over his cock. He cums too, spilling his seed inside of you without a warning or a second though. A loud moan of your name and a whine of ecstasy leaves his lips as he cums, his hips stilling against yours. 

You feel his cum stream inside of you, warm and overflowing. So much so that your mouth drops open and your eyes widen, the feeling foreign and intense. He coats your inside in all of his nut and doesn’t stop fucking you until his cum is finally dripping down your ass and onto the sheets. 

Keigo pulls out of you quickly, making you whine at the sudden loss. His cum spills out of your pussy, the sight of it lewd yet so arousing. “God, that’s so hot!” he groans, pumping his dick in front of you, his shaft slick with his cum and yours. “Makes me wanna cum again.” 

He suddenly scrambles on top of you and straddles your chest, his dick now in your face. “Open your fuckin’ mouth,” he growls. You do so, opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue for all of him to coat it. 

Keigo cums again, tossing his head back and moaning to the ceiling, his voice echoing off the walls. His cum coats your mouth and tastebuds as well as your tits and face, causing your eyes to flutter shut to avoid getting nut in your eyes. He coats every single inch of your skin in his cum, marking you completely as his. You feel like you’re his now, and you love every inch of it. 

When you finally open your eyes, your face is wet and sticky with cum as are your chest, lips, pussy, and ass. Keigo is coming down from his high, his dick growing soft and eyes dimming. When he finally comes to and gets a look at you, he grows as red as his feathers. “Fuck, look at you!” He gasps, horrified. “Don’t move. Lemme go get a towel.” 

He nearly falls out of the bed trying to get up fast enough to go run to the bathroom. You lie there, covered in cum and sedated by your three orgasms of the night. And then you begin to laugh. They come up in short giggles that reach hysteria until you’re full on guffawing in Keigo’s bed. 

When he finally comes back with a soft towel wet with warm water and a glass of water, he stares at you in confusion. “What?” He asks curiously. 

“Nothing,” you giggle. “That was just…really nice.” You smile sweetly at him as he crawls onto the bed and proceeds to clean you up. He moves the wet towel across your sticky, sweat and cum-soaked skin until you’re finally free of it all. Then he moves to the bedside table to get the massage oil that he’s used on you and himself many times. 

You smile contently as you watch him squirt the tropical-scented oil into his hands and rub them together. He takes his time and is extra careful with your legs as he moves each one into his hands, starting from your feet to your thighs to kneed the tender flesh and massage the oil into your skin. 

His hands are warm and feel so nice against your body as he rubs you down, now moving to your stomach and shoulders. He then works on your arms and hands, taking each finger and gently tugging on each one. He is an expert, paying close attention to your bones and muscles on your hand. You can’t help but be aroused from it, loving the way he takes care of you. 

When he finishes with the front, he turns you onto your stomach and coaxes you to lie flat on the mattress. After he gets more oil, he continues to massage your body, his knuckles pushing into your back muscles and hands kneading the globes of your ass. Your head falls onto the bed in utter pleasure and relaxation, making your muscles less tense and loose.

“Mmm,” you moan as Keigo’s fingers start to kneed into the bones of your shoulders. 

“Feelin’ good, baby bird?” he hums happily.

You nod lazily and he laughs, continuing to work your body into an absolute puddle. You love this: the tenderness that comes after some good sex. All you smell are your boyfriend and the massage oil, the scents relaxing you even further and pushing you towards sleep. 

When it’s finally over, Keigo scoops you off of the bed and you let him, too relaxed and exhausted to do it yourself. “Come on, gorgeous,” he coos. “Let’s get you into bed.” He coaxes you under the covers before settling in beside you. As soon as he’s in bed with you, you snuggle up against his side and he wraps his arms around you, holding you closer than close. 

“Love you,” he murmurs against your forehead that he lays kisses upon. “Love you so much.” 

“I love you too, Kei,” you whisper into his neck, breathing in his smell. Your hand falls to his chest and presses against his heart, feeling it beat against your palm. “I always will.” 

He stares down at you, his gaze soft yet serious. “Then if you ain’t too tired, you in the mood for a very sad backstory?” He asks, a wry smirk playing at his lips. 

Suddenly, all sleepiness and the fog of relaxation are gone. You sit up onto your elbow, your heart beating a bit faster. Keigo is still staring at you, dead serious and waiting for a response. You give it to him by pressing a soft kiss to his lips, cupping his face as you do. “Always,” you whisper against his lips. 

Keigo smiles and presses another kiss to your lips before you lay back down beside him, mentally and emotionally preparing for his story. He doesn’t look at you as he prepares himself, mentally pulling back the pages to the book of his life that he swore not to tell you. But after tonight, that promise is broken. 

“It all starts on the little island of Kyushu,” he begins softly. 

THE END. 

[thelastharbinger]

Tidbits of ATSV That I Enjoyed (Or Alternatively: Just Miles Being The Most Endearing Spidey Ever)

Miles patting The Spot's head after successfully webbing him (I don't see this as condescending, but rather him still engaging with the humanity of a villain like Spot) and ~very assertively~ telling/asking him not to escape.

"I'm like Robin Hood-if he gave to himself."

Miles' spidey senses going off when he arrives late to his dad's party because there's nothing more frightening than Brown parents when they're mad at you. Beware the chancla or correa!

O.k. So we all know there are different versions of the movie out there. You may already know that one of the slight differences is when Miles goes to save Inspector Singh. There's a version where you can hear Gwen's voice in the distant background yelling no! when she thinks Miles gets crushed under the rubble, and there's another where she's silent as she webs to him. Now, I have found ANOTHER version (online) where her shouting is even more at the forefront. She's practically screaming and sounds more desperate, (prolly because it's close to the same way her Peter Parker died so she's reliving trauma) and the fear in her voice is palpable. That one haunts me.

Jefferson trying to equate studying for his police exams to childbirth, which Rio quickly nips in the bud.

Ganke having a soccer poster of Son Heung Min, a famous Korean footballer who currently plays for the Premier League Tottenham Hotspur and is captain of the South Korean national team.

Miles having a Sashimi (his universe's version of Supreme, but I just like the idea that Miles loves eating sashimi. Like I know that kid has good taste in food) poster in his bedroom.

The fact that Miles kept in touch with Aunt May for long enough after the events of ITSV that he helps her move.

The Spot saying he was one of the more handsome scientists at Alchemax according to his colleagues.

Miles and Gwen having the same collectible toys, the only difference being that he keeps his in the box and she doesn't.

"Hey, don't try to wow me with big words, man," *in deep manly voice* "I do crosswords every day"- Miles after Spot points out Alchemax as "the crucible of our connection!"

Miles going, "This job is so dumb sometimes" after he tries to web Spot at the deli, but it goes through a hole and lands on his face.

"Nahhh, he seems more Dominican to me." Kinda want Miles to meet a native Dominican Spidey because that dynamic would highkey fuck hard *pun not intended*. They would repair relations between our two islands-PR&DR.

"Almost there Mami *smiley face* *cowboy* prayer hands*"

The college admissions coach at Visions Academy straight up saying, "That's your story! Now, just stick to the script..." Ma'am what???

"Calmate Mami, eso no es my fault."

"I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food...I'm just trying to lighten the mood."

Miles in his angsty teen era and smart-mouthing everyone around him. Love that for him.

"He almost killed his mom as a baby, I mean, look at those shoulders." No but for real tho. Those shoulders are as wide as a truck. Kim Seokjin who??? (if you understood that reference, ily).

Miles writing a love letter to his dad in 2 cakes.

Gwen at the water tower chowing and saying how feelings make her hungry after her and Miles talked about how they can't be together cause it would end in tragedy. Like Gwen, come again?!

Also, Miles' and Gwen's talk at the Williamsburg Bank Building being lowkey the catalyst for the 2nd/3rd acts of the film. Without them both kind of silently admitting their feelings for each other, Miles probably wouldn't have chased after her the way he did. Pretty sure you know the rest.

"I bet she doesn't even speak Spanish," and Jeff going "Que barbaridad" in his very broken Spanish. Queue Rio's bombastic side eye.

Both Gwen and Miles referring to Spot as a Villain Of The Week, even though neither of them have spoken about Spot to each other.

"I was bitten by a-wouldnt you like to know? Know what I mean?" SIR. Chill. This movie is for children.

The Spot inverting himself, going from a white mass with black spots to a gaping black hole with smaller white spirals. It's giving Junji Ito.

The irony of Pavitr exclaiming, "Well that was another easy adventure for Spider-Man!" right before an incoming canon event. HIS. He was about to experience his first big loss, and his happy-go-lucky nature would've been challenged.

Miguel saying conyo! when all the Spideys start pointing at each other.

"!Cállate!" "Nosy!" Sidebar: we don't talk about Gwen's banter with bad guys enough. She's so funny!

A lot of the Peters saying hi to Gwen as she passes HQ because she is canonically the one lost love--the love interest they all would've ended up with had she not died, so they all have an affection for her.

Web-Slinger going "Giddy up!" Cause he's swinging up.

Miles offering his fresh new takes on how to deal with the Spot upon meeting Miguel, saying "He just wants to be taken seriously. Like we all do." MILES YOU BEAUTIFUL, COMPASSIONATE GOLDEN SUNFLOWER BOY I LOVE YOUUUUU.

Hobie referring to Peter B. as Humbling Reality Spider-Man, which considering how steeped in tragedy the Spidey lore is, is really saying something.

Miguel's nonono no puedo más no puedo más. His misery is very funny and delightful to me. Little bitch ass.

"You know you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny." Yes! More Miguel slander in the next one, please! Little bitch ass.

"Snitch!"

Miles shouting out Peter's name for help whilst Miguel pins and lays into him the fact that he's an anomaly. This after he momentarily glitches back to his ITSV store-bought suit. Mimicking the way-in also the first movie-Miles shouting out Peter's name for his own rescue as Doc Ock attacks him at the research facility. Because even though he feels hurt by Peter at this point, that's still his dad mentor and he still instinctively looks to him for protection. Rip my heart out why don't you!

Gwen sneaking back into her and her dad's place just to get that printed polaroid of her and Miles, a pic she already has on her phone.

Earth-42 Miles wearing Nike while our Miles wears Jordans.

[slashersteve]

iii. winter

part three of confetti ✦ previous part ✦ series masterlist ✦ archive link

pairing: Single Dad!Steve Harrington/Female Reader

summary: As Hawkins enters the winter months, Steve starts thinking seriously about his romantic relationships - past and potential future ones - and isn’t sure he’s ready to let someone become a serious part of his and Cassie’s life. The problem is…he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you.

warnings/extra tags: cursing, mentions of alcohol, the softest vanilla SMUT I’ve ever written like it's pretty vague but still enough to be considered nsfw so read at your own discretion, surprise character appearances, a parent trap alskjaskja, angsty tm so beware, daddy steve being my (your) beloved, go give @gothbitchshit a bouquet of flowers for dealing with me and these ridiculously long chapters, edited by me have mercy this chapter has been the beautiful bane of my existence

note: i publicly apologize for this being posted well into spring. Not to be a basic author note but *insert the horrors and atrocities right here* i also apologize in advance for something else in the end...anyway, I hope you all enjoy this extra long chapter of single daddy steve 💙

✦✦✦

Cassie loved the mall. 

She really just enjoyed the vibrant colors of it as it was the complete opposite color scheme of Hawkins itself. It was bright, and always full, and lively, especially when Christmas was just around the corner. If Cassie were being honest though, she would say she enjoyed going to Starcourt because her dad would get her ice cream every time, even on a day like this where snow covered the ground outside.

Also, it meant she could get the full day to be with her dad, even if he was busy behind the ice cream counter in his silly sailor uniform, complete with the white hat that read “AHOY” across the front that he’d somehow stuff his hair under. 

Cassie was given a matching one, but it sat on the table top of the booth she was currently sitting in, headphones placed over her head instead. She was nodding her head to the music, kicking her feet out to its funky beat. She hadn’t quite memorized the songs by title, rather by sound but she liked this one the most; really she liked all of them. 

It had all she had been listening to since Steve had given her your walkman you gifted her, and Cassie had been waiting on another mixtape from you (she had practically begged you when she last saw you last week, which was at a school presentation for school safety, she remembers…she also remembers looking over and seeing her dad pushing people just to stand by you).

In front of her was her over break homework packet, her math homework to be specific. Cassie prided herself in being good at it, having been applauded by her teacher Mrs. Holland numerous times in class. There were hardly any red marks on homework when it was returned to her, too, something her dad was always impressed by when she’d bring it back to him, especially if he hadn't helped her at all, so she wasn’t planning on falling behind. 

She counted away at the images of the apples. This particular section she was working on was on addition and she meticulously counted them all together with her candy cane themed pencil her teacher had passed out to the class the week prior. 

One…two…three…four…  

Twenty-two, there were twenty-two apples. She filled it in on the empty box behind the equal sign. 

The patrons were used to seeing Cassie here on occasion, though every so often somebody who was not from Hawkins and visiting from a neighboring town (as Starcourt was quite popular because of its size), would look at her and wonder why a little girl was sitting all by herself. 

If they asked Cassie, she’d simply point to her dad behind the counter and say, “I’m not alone! My daddy is right here!” Then, Steve would wave at her, and the person would awkwardly walk off. That was the typical Saturday spent at Scoops Ahoy, but today something different would happen, something neither Cassie nor Steve were expecting just a week before Christmas. 

In the middle of Cassie’s music playing, someone had taken off her headphones. She had gasped, feeling her heart jump out of her chest with fear and confusion as to what happened- she hardly got upset, and her streak still stands as the moment she turned to see who had done such a thing, her irritation vanished. 

“Robin!” Cassie shouted at the sight of the sandy blonde haired woman. She smiled widely at Cassie, opening her arms just as the little girl hopped into them, “I didn’t know you were coming!” 

“Long time no see, huh Tiny Harrington?” Robin Buckley had said, embracing Cassie warmly as it had been a while since she last saw her favorite child, “Where’s your dad? Is he- oh come on .” 

Her blue eyes darted to Steve behind the counter, not remembering the last time she’d seen Steve in the ridiculous Scoops Ahoy uniform they had to wear the summer they became unlikely friends. Cassie giggled, taking Robin’s hand in hers and leading her toward the counter. Steve had yet to see them, too focused on making a U.S.S. Butterscotch (complete with some peppermint candy swirls for the Holidays). He hadn't even heard Cassie shout Robin’s name so excitedly. 

Robin looked down at Cassie, placing a finger over her lips then winking at her as she rang the bell by the counter. Cassie giggled, but suppressed it as she didn’t want to alarm her dad.

“Be right with you,” Steve called back to her, and Robin scoffed and rang it again…then again…and then again. Steve’s shoulder’s visibly became tense, and he let out an exasperated sigh before he started to turn around. 

“Alright, alright what can I-” he stopped when his eyes fell upon Robin, and she smirked at him, “Oh my god, you didn’t tell me you were coming, Robin? Holy shit-” 

“I wanted it to be a surprise- and it certainly is, ” Robin gestured to Steve and then the entire place as she said, “You’re working here ? I thought you said you got a third job last time we spoke.” 

Steve’s cheeks became flushed, embarrassed that Robin had caught him red handed like this. The truth was that Steve was actually hiding this job from Robin, keeping his third job he mentioned in passing to her whenever they spoke over the phone very vaguely . 

“Daddy started working here in the summer,” Cassie stated, outing Steve even more and Robin’s jaw dropped, “I like it because I get free ice cream! He can get you free ice cream too, you know!” 

Robin looked at Cassie and ruffled her hair, “I spent way too much time in this place, I’ll pass on the ice cream, so hey…that just means more ice cream for you.” 

Cassie looked confused, but with Robin’s final statement she grew more content and nodded eagerly at the idea of more ice cream. 

“So all summer you’ve been working here, slinging ice cream- wearing the hat - you hated that hat,” Robin said, gesturing to him. Steve licked his suddenly dry lips, and turned away from Robin to finish completing the U.S.S. Butterscotch sundae as he said, “I needed a third job, and the manager remembered me…” 

“No way. I thought he might have you on the ‘Never Working Here Again’ list after the summer you well- we got fired,” Robin chided, and Steve laughed sarcastically as he turned and placed the sundae down, calling out the name of the patron. They took it, a few younger girls, and thanked him shyly before running off giggling. Robin scoffed at that, and Steve appeared to not even notice they were clearly crushing on the sailor who worked at Scoops Ahoy.

“Yeah…actually I had to bring Cassie up and he decided to give me the job when I proved she existed…hence why I’m wearing the hat and following…stupid company policy to keep the damn- ahem- dang job,” Steve finally replied, admitting that part to Robin. Robin crossed her arms, knowing that to be true as she had told Steve he could probably bring up that he’s a single dad and get away with anything. 

“Well, I’m not judging,” Robin lied, and Steve knew it, “You just could’ve been honest about it.” 

She wondered what other things he had been keeping from her…

“How did you find me anyway?” Steve questioned, glancing down at Cassie who was gazing up at Robin with wonder and disbelief in her eyes that Robin was here. It made him smile softly before his eyes lifted back up to meet Robin’s.

“Are you kidding me…ask any mom at the grocery store and I can get your entire schedule,” Robin said. She laughed at Steve’s horrified expression at the idea of that and waved him off as she said, “Joking. I asked Mrs. K and she said to check Scoops Ahoy. And here you are…she just didn’t say you would be working here.” 

She looked around, feeling nostalgia come over her from the memories in this mall ice cream parlor. She remembered the dread of being put on shifts with Steve Harrington, once King of Hawkins High and all around asshole, and then…she remembered the warmer parts, ones where they actually became friends and she started to actually have fun working and talking with him. He was very different than she thought he would be, and if someone had told her that first day she put on the silly sailor uniform and prayed a meteor would hit and kill her before her first shift with Steve that she’d consider him her best friend in the future…she would’ve laughed then cried into her hands dramatically.

“Robin, Robin,” Cassie was grabbing her hand, “How long are you going to stay? Please say for like… months .” 

Robin smiled at Cassie and replied, “Sorry kiddo, I’m only here for a few days because I’ll start to miss my other favorite person, but before you get sad- I have a lot of things planned for us, including finding you an early Christmas gift. What do you say? Want to go check out some stores while your dad slings ice cream into cones?” 

Her brown eyes lit up, and she turned to her dad as she said, “Can I go with Robin, daddy?” 

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, and said, “Did you finish your homework?” 

Robin rolled her eyes for Cassie, but she had practically ran to the booth, and snatched the paper off of the table before running back and waving it in the air. Steve took it, giving it a once over, before he nodded. 

“Yeah, go ahead- make sure you stay with Robin though, Cass, you know how crazy Christmas shoppers could be,” he told Cassie with a pointed look, Cassie nodded again. 

“I will, I promise!” 

“You know I’d never let anything happen to her, Popeye,” Robin said, bringing back the infamous nickname from their Scoops Ahoy days. Steve visibly grimaced at being called that, but he nodded, knowing that out of everyone he could trust Robin with his daughter. 

“Great, then we’ll come back, we’ll all go out to eat- hopefully you have a change of outfit- then we’ll catch up, yeah?” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Steve replied with a nod. 

So, the two girls were off, Cassie holding on tightly to Robin’s hand and already talking her ear off (though Robin could give her a run for her money for sure) as they exited Scoops Ahoy together and entered the crowd of Starcourt Mall in search of a Christmas gift for Cassie. 

✧ ✧ ✧

Cassie had dragged Robin to a lot of stores in the span of an hour and half, so much that Robin’s feet were already killing her, but she held on for Cassie as she seemed very particular on what she wanted…except the little girl wasn’t really saying what it was exactly. 

“You clearly want something specific, Tiny, so come on- spit it out,” Robin told Cassie after the fifth store they came out with nothing. She didn’t want to rush her, actually loving spending this time with Cassie as it had been since the beginning of the year she had enough time to make the trip down here from New York. 

It was unusual for Cassie to not say what was on her mind, so whatever it was…Robin was insanely curious. 

“Is it something your dad won’t approve of?” Robin gasped when Cassie didn’t reply right away, “Oh- well now you gotta tell me.What is it?”

Cassie looked up at Robin with wide eyes as she said, “I want… roller skates , but I can’t skate and I’m scared that Santa knows that so he won’t get me them, but I really want them.” 

Robin did not expect that. Not at all. She stared at the little girl blankly, and for some reason the only use of roller skates she could think of was one of those outdoor hamburger places where the service workers wear skates. Do they do that still? Robin shook her head at her thought. 

“So you didn’t ask Santa for them because you thought he probably wouldn’t give you them because you can’t skate?” Robin asked for further clarification. Cassie nodded, looking actually sad about it. Robin hummed in thought, looking around Starcourt, trying to remember a store here that sold roller skates for kids before she settled her eyes on Cassie, “Well thank god I’m not Santa. Let’s go find you some, Tiny.” 

Cassie was actually the one to drag Robin to the store, very clearly having had her eye on some already. She was the one dragging Robin now, up until they got to this sport’s store Robin doesn’t remember ever being here. Cassie led her toward the roller skates, saying hello to the worker who greeted them when they walked in, and then she stopped in front of a mini display. 

They were purple skates with yellow flower designs on them and the wheels were a darker shade of purple. Very clearly they were training skates for kids like Cassie who want to learn. And, Robin noticed, they were also on sale , which is very, very common around the holidays and good for Robin. 

“Oh wow these are cute,” Robin complimented them and Cassie nodded excitedly.

“I saw them when my daddy brought us here to buy more shoes!” Cassie told Robin, “I really, really want them.” She pressed her hands against the display, and just then the same worker who had greeted them was approaching them. 

“Is there anything I can help you with?” they had asked Robin. She looked at them, then pointed to the skates, telling Cassie to give them her shoe size. The worker nodded, saying they’d be right back and for Cassie to take a seat. 

She did as told, hopping onto one of the chairs and Robin leaned on one leg, wondering where Cassie might’ve found a sudden interest in roller skating. It can’t have been Steve, both him and her were horrible at ice skating that one year when Cassie was only 4 they decided to go to the ice rink set up in Hawkins Downtown for the winter. And he seemed way too busy to have suddenly learned how to skate properly…

“So…roller skates huh? Why the sudden interest? Your dad’s not skating again right? Because he’s horrible at it,” Robin said just as the worker returned with the proper sized skates. Robin shooed them away, deciding that she would help Cassie get them on herself. She knelt down in front of the girl as Cassie kicked her snow boots off, revealing candy cane themed socks. 

Cassie laughed at Robin’s jab at her dad before she said, “No, it’s his friend.” 

As Robin got the first skate on she shot Cassie a questionable look, “Friend? Your dad’s only friend is me .” 

Cassie nodded though, and then she said a name, your name, that Robin has never heard before in her life, at least out of Steve’s mouth. 

“She’s very nice! And I know that if I have these then she’ll teach me how to skate, she told me she used to skate all the time when she was little,” Cassie started to boast, a wide smile growing on her lips, eagerly talking about you . 

All Robin could do though was stare at Cassie with a bewildered look as she thought she? A woman? Steve’s friends with a woman?  

“Woah woah woah, wait- she’s your dad’s friend ?” 

Cassie hummed, “Mmhm, I really like her…and my daddy does too… a lot .”

She supposed that Steve was hiding a lot more from her than she thought, starting with him working at Scoops Ahoy again, and a mysterious woman Cassie claims he likes, in his daughter’s own words, a lot . Robin helped her get the other skate on, navigating in her mind this new information but deciding that she should get as much information as possible from Cassie before she definitely confronts Steve about it later. 

“A mysterious lady your dad likes… interesting …tell me more about her, my tiny friend. What is she like? How do you know your dad likes her a lot? What have you seen ?” 

Cassie stared at her, hanging onto every question before she looked away in thought, even placing her hand into her chin before she started to first tell Robin how nice you were, how she would give you carrots for lunch because she didn’t want them, she told her how you went apple picking with them and how you got Steve to actually bake (which shocked Robin very much), and how you even taught her to bake as well. 

She boasted on and on about you, before ending it on spending Thanksgiving together (something that made Robin’s jaw promptly drop in complete surprise), and telling her about your gift, gesturing to the walkman headphones that rested on her neck.

“Holy shit,” Robin said, pleasantly surprised by all this information, and kind of miffed that Steve hadn’t told her anything. She couldn’t even find it in herself to censor herself as her thoughts ran rampant. 

She knew Steve, before Cassie, before Cassie’s mom , and she knew him after as well…the possibility of him letting anyone in his life like this, so far as inviting them to a family dinner, seemed quite impossible…and well…at least she knew exactly what the main topic of discussion was going to be after Cassie goes to bed tonight…

Robin turned her attention back onto the skates Cassie was currently wearing, setting aside her intentions with Steve for now, and she stood up, and held her hands out. Cassie took them, and Robin could feel them shaking underneath his grasp. 

In fact, her legs were shaking too, like a newborn deer or something and it even made Robin nervous because she did not have good balance. She wondered if Cassie could ever want to learn how to skate…how you , and every other roller skater did it too. 

“I don’t know about this Cassie…” Robin admitted to her, but Cassie clenched her jaw and shook her head. 

“No…no I want them,” she stated, forcing herself to become more confident, “She will teach me if I have them…and then I’ll get good at it and maybe I can teach my daddy too how to skate.” 

The thought made Robin laugh, and she stepped backwards, Cassie rolling along with her, and almost falling forward and falling on her face had Robin not been holding her, “Gee…these are definitely not Steve of Approved…but honestly…looks like I have competition here with gift-giving…”

Robin’s eyes moved to the walk-man, before she rolled Cassie back to sit down and said, “Okay, I’ll get them for you…but I’m getting you literally every protection gear this place has to offer so your dad doesn’t have a heart attack.” 

Cassie almost cried with happiness, already kicking them off so they could gather the rest of her gift around the store. 

Afterwards, Robin decided to treat Cassie to a movie, buying her whatever snack she wanted and the largest popcorn as well. She enjoyed every second of it, giddy already because of the skates that were packed away into a shopping bag. 

Then, they returned to Scoops Ahoy just in time for Steve’s shift to come to an end. He had changed his outfit completely, wearing a striped sweater underneath the jacket he was currently zipping up and a pair of jeans. The outfit change made total sense considering the current snowy climate outside. 

Cassie was calling him, running into the ice cream parlor and he was quick to catch her and lift her up into his arms with a wide loving smile on his face. Robin strolled up a few seconds after, and Cassie hopped out of her dad’s arms and started to tell him that her Aunt Robin got her a gift. 

Steve stared at the large bag, and Robin smirked as she set it down on one of the empty tables as Steve said cautiously, “Uh…what did she get you?...What did you get her?” Steve was looking at Robin now almost suspiciously and Cassie climbed onto a chair. 

“Roller skates! She got me roller skates!” 

Steve’s brown eyes widened at Cassie’s answer, and Robin pulled out the box to show him the skates properly. 

“Robin- are you- are you serious?” Steve asked, being sure to not sound or look mad in front of Cassie, especially with how excited she seemed to be about this, but he was just concerned with how safe these things would be, already imagining Cassie falling and crying. The idea simply hurt his chest and filled him with fatherly fear. 

“Sure am,” Robin said, slapping the side of the roller skates like a brand new car, “Don’t worry, Popeye, I bought her the latest of protection gear, if she falls the ground would be more hurt than her.” 

Steve crossed his arms, still baffled by the gift. 

“Besides, I need to make sure I remain Cassie’s favorite aunt by coming to town once in a while and getting her whatever she wants,” Robin added, smiling at Cassie who was still beaming about the skates. 

Steve shook his head, amused by Robin’s statement and then he said, “I’m still not…I don’t know, I didn’t even know you wanted roller skates Cass.”

Cassie seemed to finally sense her dad’s hesitation, and she quickly turned to him and claimed that she would be careful, and that you could teach her. 

At the mention of your name, Steve felt the air in his chest release softly and his cheeks had grown quite warm, wondering how it didn’t occur to him that you were the reason for her newfound interest in this. It almost made him smile widely, but he settled on a small one that was barely visible. 

It was visible enough for Robin though who had made sure to look at Steve when Cassie mentioned you. She saw his flushed cheeks, his sudden hesitation all but vanishing in mere seconds. And then Steve settled his eyes back on the skates then at Cassie before he started to nod. 

“Alright, yeah, that’s true…she’s gonna love that you got a pair,” Steve said, voice filled with the warmth that matched his cheeks and now his chest. Cassie cheered, then Robin cheered too with Cassie, making Steve’s smile grow and uncross his arms. 

The three had gone out to eat at a diner after they left Starcourt, Cassie ordering belgian waffles for dinner, Robin’s treat again, before they were settling into the Harrington household. It was just a small house, two bedrooms, but the living room was pretty big for a small home. A Christmas tree was set up by the window in the front, lit up with vibrant colors and decorated with ornaments Cassie had made at school. Gifts were already set under the tree, wrapped pretty decently. 

Robin was lounging out the couch, having kicked off her shoes and she was watching Cassie roll around the living room, her head covered by a large purple helmet that matched the color of her skates and pads wrapped around her knees and elbows. 

She was laser focused, holding onto the wall for dear life and looking down with a determined look in her eyes as she rolled forward little by little. Steve was in the kitchen, and Robin could already smell the sweet scent of hot chocolate. 

With the heater kicked on, and the night still young, Steve came out holding two mugs, one for him and one for Robin, Cassie had declined any because she wanted to focus on skating during the hour before she would go to bed. 

So, while Cassie did that (trying not to crash into the tree for example), Steve and Robin decided to catch up. Robin told him about her job, and the new apartment she moved into with Vickie, she told him how Nancy and Jonathan were doing, and some fun anecdotes she knew Steve would get a good laugh at. 

Steve told her a few things, starting with the obvious that he was working at Scoops Ahoy again which made Robin tease him about it again. 

“Hey, like I said, I needed a third job, and he agreed to give me a set schedule, weekends only,” Steve told Robin as he leaned back on the couch. 

“No, no I totally get it, I just think it’s funny that you willingly put that uniform on again, you hated it more than I did,” Robin said, bending her leg against her chest and resting her chin on her knee as she laughed. 

“Yeah, but that was when I was fresh out of high school and still cared about my self-image, as a daddy now that wasn’t even a factor,” Steve said, smirking when Robin grimaced at him calling himself daddy . It was fine coming out of Cassie’s mouth, because Steve was her actual dad, but Steve calling himself that? It made her want to gag and Steve knew that. It’s why he said it in the first place. 

“If you’re not Cassie, I don’t want to hear you call yourself daddy,” Robin said, and Steve laughed in response. 

“Speaking of Cassie,” Steve started, turning his head to find her sitting on the floor defeated. He got up, concern crossing over his features for a second as Cassie looked up at him with a frown. She hadn’t fallen, no, they would’ve heard her crash and hit the ground. She was just upset that she wasn’t a master skater already. 

Amusement replaced that concern, and he held his hand out of her take and told her, “Call it a night, yeah? And don’t be so sad, Cass, it’s going to take more than one night of practice.” 

She sighed, and took her dad’s hand and he pulled her back up to her feet, rolling forward and he poked her sides slightly. Cassie giggled, finally smiling before he told her to get ready for bed. She complied, and Steve gave her a gentle push, letting her roll her way down the hall and toward her room. 

Robin got up, stretching her arms out before she decided to help out by taking the now empty mugs to the sink while Steve went with Cassie to help her take the skates and all the gear off. After a few minutes, Cassie came back out to thank Robin for the skates and to give her a big hug before she returned to her room for the night. 

Robin was walking around the living room, eying the various portraits that she hadn’t seen since she was last here. There were a few new ones, like Cassie in a tinkerbell costume in front of Mrs. K’s house next door. Her eyes shifted to the older ones, resting on Cassie when she was just a toddler before moving on to one of Steve and Cassie when she was only just born. 

He was sitting on a lazy-boy, one that used to be in Steve’s old house when he still lived with his parents. Steve was grinning widely, hair greasy and a mess, and he was holding Cassie who was bundled up in a mint green blanket against his chest. He was only 19 at the time, almost 20, and practically still fresh out of high school. Robin remembered when Steve had come to her and told her the news that he was going to be a dad. He was freaking out, and Robin could admit she didn’t help him calm down in the slightest. 

They both had just rambled, Robin shocked by him going to become a parent so young, and what he was going to do and then ranting off ways everything could go wrong and almost making Steve go into cardiac arrest at 19. It was Nancy who promptly calmed Steve down (and thus Robin too).

“Alright, I’m back- what are you doing?” Steve’s voice came from behind Robin, and she turned away from the picture and started to laugh. 

“I was looking at that photo of you and Cass, remember when you told me you were going to be a dad and I kind of sort of freaked out like I was the one about to be a dad or something-” 

Steve scoffed loudly, “ Yeah , you freaked me the hell out, Robin. I was ready to speed off to New York under a new name with all that shit you were saying! Thank god Nance showed up and talked me down.” 

Robin was laughing again, finding it funny now when it wasn’t funny at the time, and Steve started to laugh too as he fell back onto the couch and yawned loudly. Robin frowned, and joined him back on the couch.

“Oh damn, you’re not tired already, right? We have so much more to talk about, ” she said, knowing that she desperately needed to know more about this mysterious woman Cassie claims he likes so much, who got him to bake and joined him on Thanksgiving.

“I’m a daddy, I’m always tired,” Steve told Robin truthfully, to which she gave him a look for calling himself daddy again. He laughed and added, “I don’t really have much else to say-” 

“Oh that’s alright, I have something you can tell me about,” Robin said, cutting him off, “So during our little outing, Tiny Harrington told me something pretty interesting about this very pretty school office worker you seem to really like, care to share anything with the class?” 

Steve snapped his head toward her and he cleared his throat and turned his head back forward and said your name like it was a question. Robin nodded, “Yup, that’s it and you both keep mentioning her…so who is she? Tell me more about her.” 

Robin was now leaning in, needing to know more about this especially from Steve, the guy who hadn’t really been with anyone since Cassie’s mom, well there was one other woman, but she could hardly recall her face or even her name because of how quickly that flame went out. 

Steve pushed his hair out of his face and replied, “She’s just a friend.” 

Now it was Robin’s turn to scoff loudly and she said, “Oh really…do you normally invite friends to have Thanksgiving with your family and the Hendersons? Or to go apple-picking with you?” 

Steve nodded, “Yeah, yeah you can normally invite a friend to things like that.” 

He was very clearly deflecting, and Robin wasn’t buying it, not even when he added, “She’s super nice, really cool…moved here in the summer actually and you know, she doesn’t really have anybody or any family really nearby so I just…you know invited her to join me and Cassie…” 

Robin sighed, slightly disappointed by this and she started to say, “Steve…Steve, Steve, Steve, I know you…you don’t just let people in your life, in Cassie’s life, especially since her mom just up and left. I mean, there was what’s-her-face who you didn’t let her into your life at all which was why the relationship went up in flames in the first place… and now all of a sudden Cassie is telling me about this woman you very clearly like going places with you both and gifting her things…what aren’t you telling me?” 

He tensed up at Robin’s words, seeming to have forgotten that Robin was there for the majority of his life, even though she had promptly brought it up just minutes ago with that memory of him telling her the news. Robin did know Steve, probably more than anybody else in his life. She was there when Cassie’s mom was there, and there when she wasn’t , the aftermath of it all…Steve hated to think about that. He hated it, so he didn’t think about it.

He turned to Robin, who looked more serious now, wanting to know more about you, and wanting Steve to tell her. So he decided he should. 

“We really are just friends,” Steve started with, wanting to make that clear, “I mean…she’s something else , you know? Like…the more I get to know her, the more…amazing I realize she is.” 

He laughed nervously, pink dusting over his cheeks as his thoughts became consumed with you and the feelings you brought out of him.

“And Cassie absolutely loves her, I mean, she literally asked for skates because of her, and she seems to really like hanging out with me and Cassie too,” he continued, thinking of the smile you always put on his and Cassie’s face whenever you’re together, and he finished saying in a breathless voice like the mere thought of you took his breath away, “ Yeah … I really like her. ”

His heart was fluttering in his chest from having finally admitted that outloud to somebody. It became more real then, the feelings that would gather in his entire being whenever you were around, whenever you were even mentioned.

“Knew it,” Robin said, satisfied to get a confession from Steve, “So why are you still just friends then? Is she not interested or something?” 

Steve pressed his lips tightly together and shrugged, “I wouldn’t know, I never asked and…well, I don’t think she’s not interested, I mean… there is something there, like something electric…being with someone finally sounds good, but then-” 

Steve furrowed his brow, as he’s given many thoughts about this whenever it would come up, which was often especially following Thanksgiving when he was tempted to kiss you (and was positive you were going to kiss him too). It was all the same things that stirred inside of him, things that were almost unresolved from the impact Cassie’s mom left on him…he shut his eyes for a moment, the conflict swirling around in him and almost making his stomach hurt along with his head.

Robin was sitting cross-legged, hanging off of Steve’s last word, wanting to know what he was going to say next. 

He sucked in a tight breath then released it before saying, “I just…I don’t have time , you know? If there’s anything I learned from being with Brenda ,” Steve said, reminding Robin of the other woman’s name. Robin snapped her fingers and said quietly ‘ oh yeah Brenda .’

“From being with her, time is just not on my side with my jobs, especially now since I got a third one- I just can never be there for somebody else, I can’t commit to them in the way they want me to,” Steve tried to explain, “And…and I can’t do that to her, I can’t break her heart like that so…yeah she’s my friend, and it’s going to stay that way.” 

Robin frowned at Steve, slightly disappointed that it was still this that was holding him back, keeping him from pursuing any romantic relationship even when he seemed to want one. Hell, even watching him say that he and you were just going to stay friends he looked downright depressed and disappointed. 

She could only sigh, feeling kind of sad for Steve, and his luck with romance after Cassie’s mom, but she always thought that maybe he just hadn’t found the right person, and she still stands by that to this day. Somebody will come around, and for all she knows this right person for Steve could be you …and she feels like she’d know for sure if she met you and got to know you too.

“By the way you’re talking about this girl…I’d really like to meet her,” she said, making Steve look at her again and with squinted eyes he replied, “Absolutely not.”

Robin threw her hand over her chest, heavily offended by his immediate response and she said, “Why not! If she’s so amazing, I’d like to see it for myself. I’m not going to do anything that’ll embarrass you, scout’s honor.” 

“ Nope . No way.”

Robin rolled her eyes, wondering what on Earth she could do that’ll embarrass him more than he tends to embarrass himself, but something told her it was that if you met Robin , his best friend, then that would just let you into his life more…and honestly, maybe he needed that more than he believed he didn’t…

✧ ✧ ✧

It was cold. 

You were wearing more layers today than any other day since the snowy weather arrived. Your entire head was hidden underneath a gray beanie, and the bottom of your face covered by a baby blue knitted scarf you bought off of one of the student’s moms who sold them. 

Even in the confines of the coffee shop, you felt incredibly cold, and were concerned about a cough coming along, your throat a little drier than usual. It was just what you needed, considering the Holidays were just around the corner and you were going to spend it with Heidi’s family. You weren’t sure then, if you were getting sick, that you could go, which was quite disappointing. 

Your name was suddenly called, and you could already taste your favorite hot coffee, and were ready for it to warm your insides. Right after your name was called though, another name was called. You didn’t pay much attention, determined to get your coffee, that you hadn’t realized they had set the identical cups right next to each other. You just grabbed one, and turned away. 

“Oh, wait!” someone called before you could take a sip, and you turned your head to meet the blue eyes of a girl with short blonde hair and freckles decorating her cheeks, “That one is mine! My name’s on it…” 

You blinked and looked down, twisting the cup in your hand to see the name Robin scribbled on the side of it and not your name. You quickly apologized, feeling a little silly for not checking first and held it out for her to take.

“It’s alright, the cups look the exact same,” the girl, Robin, replied to you as she held your coffee out for you to take. She seemed like she was going to say something further, but stopped when her eyes glossed over your name written on the cup as you took it from her, “Oh… Oh …” 

She looked at you, blue eyes observing you closely and then your name before you properly switched. 

You turned away without another word, ready to return to finally take a sip and return to your car when the girl called your name this time. You stopped, thinking maybe you left something but only saw her standing there with her own drink and sheepish smile on her lips. 

“Sorry, I know I probably look like a complete weirdo , and even more so when I say this but…I think I know you, and that you probably know me too? At least by name?” she was saying, and you could only stare at her, trying to see if you could remember exactly who she was and if you’d seen her around here before or heard her name. 

You shook your head when nothing came up and replied, “I’m sorry, I don’t…I can’t really remember.” You laughed awkwardly and she did too. 

“I just thought maybe Steve would’ve mentioned me,” she said, his namedrop making you tilt your head curiously, “I mean he’s mentioned you quite a bit since I came back to town…just wondering if he’s ever mentioned his friend Robin to you.” 

She blinked rapidly at you, then smiled more widely at you. It took you a moment or two before your memory returned. Steve had mentioned her before, you remembered a specific time when you were looking for another movie to watch and he brought to the double VHS section and said something along the lines of “Yeah my best friend Robin made me sit through so many movies, I don’t normally do double VHS, but this one was really good.” And there were others too you would gradually remember.

“Oh yeah! He has! Uh, hi, this is so weird, not that you’re weird, I swear, just-” you laughed nervously, “It’s nice to meet you.” 

“Likewise,” Robin replied, stepping out of the way of other coffee patrons, “So, I hear you and Steve are pretty good friends too.” 

You nodded quite fast at that, then got a little embarrassed that you did so, especially when she raised both eyebrows at you. 

“Yeah I’d say we are,” you said, “Not as good as you two are I bet, I think he mentioned one time you’ve been friends since he graduated High School.” 

“Yeah, we worked at Scoops Ahoy together,” Robin said, and you stared blankly at her, not knowing what a Scoops Ahoy was. And you swore you’ve been to every place in Hawkins thus far, but not wanting to sound stupid by asking you just stayed quiet as Robin continued to say, “Anyway though, I’m sure you got places to be, I got places to be because you know, my mom is just dying to see me.” 

You couldn’t tell if that was sarcasm or not, but she bid you a good-bye before pausing and turning back to you to say, “Hey, wait, around like I don’t know 6, me, Steve and Cassie are going to that pizza place downtown…you should come.” 

“Oh,” you paused suddenly, then said, “I don’t want to intrude on a reunion.” 

Robin laughed at that, “You’re not going to intrude anything, you’re Steve’s friend, I’m his friend, it’ll be just a bunch of friends meeting for some pizza for dinner. I’m sure he’ll love to see you seeing as he talked about you so much.” 

You felt your cheeks heat up at that, then became too preoccupied with the heart in your chest leaping to see Steve again, something that’s become entirely common these days. You subconsciously counted down the days until you would see him again, though you’d never admit anything out loud. Also, she’s mentioned twice that he keeps talking about you…

Robin was staring at you expectantly, and you met her eyes before nodding and saying, “Yeah, okay that sounds like it could be fun.” 

“Yes! Alright, cool,” Robin said, a little too excitedly as she gave you a thumbs up with the hand that wasn’t holding her coffee, “Now, I’m going to go see my mom, and I’ll see you later, you know the one right?” 

You nodded, as there was only one pizza place in Hawkins, and waved a good-bye to Robin as she left the coffee shop before you. You dropped your hand to the side, then remembered that you were cold and that was the reason you bought a coffee. You lifted it to your lips, and drank the hot liquid, but it didn’t do much, as the thought of Steve had already made you warm enough.

✧ ✧ ✧

It was half after six, and Steve, Cassie, and Robin were barely being seated. Robin hadn’t anticipated the place to be so full, even though Steve told her it would be. It wasn’t a long wait, and Steve wasn’t impatient and neither was Robin, Cassie could be impatient, but as long as she had her walkman while they sat in the waiting area she was fine. 

Steve had noticed that Robin kept looking at the door every time it opened, eyes looking over every member of the family that was entering the pizza parlor. He had asked her if she was waiting for someone or something, thinking maybe she ran into the kids (they’re not kids anymore, Steve kept having to remind himself) who were home for winter break without telling him. Not that he would mind, but who the hell was going to pay for them to eat?

Eventually, Robin’s name was called by the hostess and they were led through the full pizza parlor and sat at a comfortable round booth that was actually elevated and underneath a dimly lit light. Cassie hopped in first, crawling on all fours until she was sitting right in the center of the table with a grin on her face and head banging as she was still listening to music. 

“This is a pretty big booth for just three people,” Steve said, eying Robin as he tried to see if she’d take the bait and just tell him who she invited to join them.

“Oh yeah, totally too big for three people,” Robin said, agreeing with him as she shot him a grin and sat down. 

“Right…” 

Steve sat down as well, thanking the hostess for the menus. He turned his attention to Cassie now, and tapped her nose to capture her attention. She looked at him and he gestured to his own ears. Cassie understood, and turned to turn off her walkman, then removed her headphones. They rested around her neck, a look Cassie Harrington had all the time, especially these days. 

“Welcome back,” Steve teased her as he handed her a menu. Cassie took it from her dad, giving him a toothy grin as her head was still nodding to nonexistent music. Steve chuckled and passed a menu to Robin, and then looked down, seeing he was holding two more. 

Robin definitely invited somebody else. 

At that moment, Steve looked up at the door, as Robin and Cassie became engrossed in their menus and were verbally deciding what toppings they wanted on each pizza they were about to order. 

He was looking for perhaps a kid, like Dustin, or Lucas as Robin mentioned running into him specifically, hell he even looked for Eddie Munson (Steve had seen him show up in the Family Video Store after he seemed to have vanished for weeks), but his eyes landed on you . 

You weren’t looking at him, your attention on the hostess as you spoke to her. The hostess had looked down at her clipboard, then nodded, telling you something with a smile before she turned around and started to walk in the direction of the table they sat at. Just as you lifted your eyes, Steve turned to look at Robin, all of it adding up at once.

“You didn’t- how- how did you even meet her? ” Steve was questioning her. Robin looked up from her menu, confused at first and then she grinned sheepishly. Before she could even answer, you were at the table. 

Cassie had gasped at the sight of you, and called your name excitedly while Robin grinned and looked at you. 

“You made it! I was afraid you wouldn’t!” Robin said, “Steve scoot over, jeesh, you too Tiny.” 

“No! Wait! I want to sit next to her!” Cassie announced, of which Robin seemed very intrigued by and Cassie said, “Daddy, you sit on the side!” 

Steve stared at Cassie for such a demand, but who was he to deny his daughter’s requests? He looked at you, finally, and you were looking at Cassie with a sweet smile on your lips before you turned to look at Steve. He sucked in a soft breath before nodding and scooting off of the seat. 

“Wait, do you want…” Steve gestured to your outerwear when he stood and you blinked before realizing what he meant. 

“Yeah! God I hate wearing all these layers,” you said with a shake of your head as you unzipped your large jacket. You were shaking out of it and Steve was suddenly behind you, reaching out to take your jacket off for you like the gentleman he is. You thanked him softly as he did, and he flashed you a sweet grin before you were moving to sit in the booth. 

“I didn’t know Robin invited you!” Cassie said when you settled in next to her. 

“She invited me this morning,” you told her, looking over at her then at Steve as he settled down right next to you. Steve slid a menu to you as well and you took it, another soft thank you being thrown his way. 

“Yeah, I ran into her at the coffee place, insane right? I mean I heard her name, because obviously Steve told me all about you,” Robin said, gesturing to Steve who snapped his head to look at her, “Cassie too , don’t look at me like that. Anyway, she took my coffee by accident and then we talked and now she’s here.” 

Steve shook his head.

“Yeah, that’s what happened,” you said, your cheeks a little warm as you were still a bit afraid that you were unwelcomed despite Steve literally getting up and helping you get your jacket off, “It’s not a problem for anyone here, right?” 

Steve turned to look at you, and quickly shook his head, “Oh no , never. You know I like seeing you.” He suddenly realized what he’d just said and cleared his throat before turning away to cough into his hand in an attempt to take the attention off that . 

You just sat there, pressing your lips softly together at his words, before you looked back at Robin and said, “Sorry for being late though, my car has been acting up especially with this weather.” 

You frowned at the thought of your car barely starting this morning, and then when you were on your way here. It started eventually, yes , but felt pretty much dead before that. Robin told you it was fine, as they were barely sat anyway.

“Wait what’s going on with your car?” Steve questioned, becoming concerned at this information. You shrugged. 

“It’s…wonky, I don’t know,” you said lamely, “It takes a few tries to start, then when it’s on it feels like it’s on the edge of breaking down.” 

Steve was shaking his head at the idea of that, and said, “You know I can take a look at it after dinner if you want me to. I’ve gotten pretty good with cars these past few years.” 

Robin hummed, “Yeah, it’s really weird…like the moment he became a dad he gained all the traits of one like barbecuing and…falling asleep early on the couch or something.” 

That comment made you genuinely laugh, and Steve got a bit lost in your laugh even though it wasn’t him who made you laugh, but he quickly shook out of it and laughed sarcastically at Robin before returning his attention to you. 

“I’m serious though, I can look at it…also I fell asleep on the couch one time,” he said the last part to Robin who reminded him that it happened in the middle of their conversation the night prior before looking back down at the menu. You laughed again, then rested your hand on his shoulder, and replied, “I’d really appreciate that, Steve. Thanks.”

You both just gazed at each other for a long moment, before Cassie was tapping your arm, taking your attention off of him. Steve smiled to himself, then turned to look at his menu. 

“Guess what Robin got me for Christmas,” Cassie started with eagerly. You hummed in thought. 

“Beats me, Cass,” you said after a moment, and she smiled widely before announcing the skates. You dropped your jaw, “No way! You want to learn to skate then?”

Cassie nodded, “Yes! Can you teach me?”

You were more than obliged to teach her, which made Cassie even more happy. 

Steve looked up from his menu, staring at you while Cassie eagerly told you all about her skates, and he licked his lips gently, and Robin stifled a laugh. He looked at her now, giving her a pointed look, pretending that he was irritated with her when he wasn’t. If he was being honest, he liked this, he liked you being here sitting between him and Cassie, with his best friend sitting across from him. It was nice…comfortable even.

It’s like you just fit . 

And the heat spreading over him at this thought made his chest sting, happy because he liked you so much , but indifferent because he did . It made no sense, no sense at all, but this was no time to dwell on it, especially with you right next to him, your legs slightly touching and your pretty perfume invading his senses. 

Thankfully, the waiter arrived, taking an order of drinks, and your pizza. You all decided on two large pizzas, and when you ordered some strawberry lemonade, Cassie did the same, something that did not go unnoticed by Steve. She never drank lemonade, in fact every time they came here she got apple juice, and what he saw was Cassie bright eyes gazing at you. It made that feeling in Steve even more vibrant, that Cassie seemed to look up to you so much that she got skates because of you, listened to disco, and now ordered the same drink. 

It really hit Steve, at this moment, how much Cassie really liked you. She of course liked everyone else too, as she took a specific liking to Robin who was there in her infant and toddler days, and then took a liking to Dustin and especially Max. She had never actually tried to mimic them though, Max never inspired her to want to learn how to ride a skateboard and the interest in Dungeons and Dragons was all part of Dustin’s elaborate plan to get her to keep a high school club alive. 

You weren’t doing any of that, just simply existing and being such a good friend , that damned word again, that became a constant in his and Cassie’s life and she seemed to want to be just like you. 

Steve was a bit baffled at this, shocked into silence really as you and Robin were talking now. 

“Oh yeah, we went to high school together, right Steve? But we didn’t become friends until that one summer we were forced to work together at Scoops Ahoy,” Robin was saying, finally capturing Steve’s attention, “It was a summer for sure, your dad wasn’t the catch he is today.” 

Robin was talking to Cassie now, who looked over at her dad and asked, “Catch?”

“Oh, no girls liked him,” Robin said nonchalantly, which made Cassie frown.

“But he gets free ice cream?” 

“Right? Seems foolproof huh?” 

“Wait- are you seriously bringing that up? Come on Robin, you know it was a tough summer for me,” Steve said, grabbing his drink and sipping out of the straw. 

“Because now it’s a funny memory,” Robin replied with a shrug, and turned back to look at you, “Have you seen him yet? At Scoops Ahoy?” 

You cringed slightly, knowing it was time to fuss up that you had no idea what a ‘Scoops Ahoy’ was, and told her so. The table went quiet, as if Scoops Ahoy was a home name of Hawkins or something when really it was just between the three people at the table with you. 

“You’ve never been there?” Steve was asking you, making you look at him and shake your head, “So you’ve never visited Starcourt then?” 

You shook your head again, “I’ve been wanting to, but…I don’t know if my car will make it that far…”

Steve just stared at you, then nodded as if he was impressed that you’ve never visited the highly popular mall and Cassie was the one to tell you that it was an ice cream shop. She told you about all the free ice cream she gets sometimes.

“ Free ice cream? That sounds like a dream,” you told Cassie and she giggled and said that it wasn’t. Her dad could get free ice cream whenever he wanted essentially.

“Well I mean, I can get you free ice cream too if you want,” Steve said, turning to you, and Robin almost rolled her eyes because it was painfully obvious that Steve really liked you, and it was such a burden to know he did, but wasn’t going to actually do anything about it. 

“Oh really?” you questioned, resting your chin on your hand as you met his brown eyes.

“ Yeah , I think I’m pretty much a professional like I’ve mastered the USS Butterscotch ,” Steve said, making you furrow your brows in confusion at such a name, but assuming rightfully it was just some kind of sunday they served. 

Robin asked how you and Steve met, and he relayed to her how you were dying from allergies and did a late run to the market to get medication, and he just so happened to working that night, then you said you ran into him again at the video store, a job, Robin relayed to you that he’s been at that job for a while. It was Cassie who talked about the carrot situation in more detail, which made Robin laugh because it is something Cassie Harrington would do. 

She watched as you, Steve, and Cassie spoke, laughing together, and she had noticed herself how much Cassie had taken a liking to you as well. It was Steve mostly, though, she couldn’t recall the last time he was so interested in a woman like this. That other girl he was almost with didn’t even compare to how he was with you, and maybe…he was like that once with Cassie’s mom, very early in her pregnancy. 

He had been at her side almost twenty-four seven. Robin had liked her, as there wasn’t necessarily anything wrong with her, just that it was painfully obvious that she didn’t feel the same way toward Steve. Steve had known that, since he had told Robin this when she brought it up one night during a late shift at the Family Video Store. 

He was aware, yes, but they were going to have a baby together, he couldn’t help how he felt, how he always felt about her really as they were friends. But honestly, he had told her, he just wanted their child to have both parents, it didn’t matter to him whether he and she were together, as long as Cassie had her mom and had her dad who at the very least liked each other. Of course, they all know how that story came to an end…

It was something that clearly continued to plague her best friend’s mind, if their conversation from the night before meant anything. Steve liked you, he admitted that to Robin, which is a major step for the guy, and seeing you, seeing how you fell into place with him, with Cassie, something felt different, yet all the same. He wasn’t putting on some kind of show, because Robin knew if she invited the other girl he was with for a bit, he would’ve been actually irritated with her, he would’ve sat through it and been polite, but he wouldn’t have been happy. He seemed like…himself again…comfortable, and she liked seeing Steve like this again. She really did. 

And now, she felt like she owed it to him to knock some sense into him, like how he helped her out with Vickie all those years ago, who still remained her beloved and favorite person ever to this day. He would be crazy to at least not try , because he liked you, and sitting here, she can tell that you liked him too. 

The pizza had come, and the conversation turned to Steve and Robin now, and you sat there listening with amusement written on your features of the summer they became friends, about working at Scoops Ahoy, then at the Family Video Store, how he threw her a graduation party at his house that almost failed because someone forgot to bring cups (It was that guy Eddie again) until a girl by the name of Nancy Wheeler got fed up and left to get some. Steve even made her a cake apparently, or at least attempted to. It was something, Robin had said about that cake, surely something.

“You said you’ve never baked before,” you said to Steve upon hearing this information and he turned to you with a sheepish grin on his lips. 

“It’s one of the major reasons I don’t bake anymore,” Steve replied, making you laugh and say, “You bake now though.” 

“Thanks to you, I actually like it now, honestly…you know I still get compliments on those cookies…” Steve said, leaning back and subconsciously stretching and resting his arms on the rest right behind you.

Your heart sped up at this gesture, and you shifted in your spot. Steve stayed staring at you, a small grin on his lips that hadn’t left since all of you started talking. You settled back into place, with his arm technically wrapped around you and turned away, cheeks hot and your heart feeling like it was blooming. 

The check had come around, and Steve had reached into his pocket, and cursed softly.

“Damn…I think I left my wallet in the car,” he said with a cringe before he started to stand, “I’ll be right back.” 

“Wait!” Cassie called in between you and Robin, and Steve paused to look at his daughter, “Can I go?”

“Come on then,” Steve said, fully standing. You were about to move, but Cassie was diving underneath the table and crawling out from the other side. Steve just stared at her before he laughed and told her to put her jacket on. She did, and then he held his hand out for her to take. When their hands clasped together, they were walking toward the exit of the pizza parlor, leaving you and Robin. 

You had felt slightly bad, as you didn’t get to learn much about Robin herself. So, given it was just the two of you, you asked her about herself and Robin let out a breath. 

“I hate this question…” Robin said, fiddling with her rings as she laughed awkwardly. Before you could apologize, she shook her head and told you that she lived in New York with her girlfriend, Vickie, that she moved there with her when Cassie was around four years old, so around two years ago. She attends classes at a college there, and works at this department store. 

“Oh, so it’s like the reverse,” you suddenly stated, “I lived in the big city, moved to this small town- you lived in this small town and moved to the big city.” 

This made Robin laugh, “Hey, yeah, that’s true . It’s pretty insane, overstimulating, a lot of smog, too many people…I don’t hate it though.” 

You nodded, your childhood and adolescent days coming back to you at once, and you replied, “Yeah, a lot of people, but…I think that’s part of its charm.” 

“Oh for sure,” Robin replied, turning her head to see if Steve was coming back. He wasn’t and she commented, “I swear if he dined and dashed…” 

“Oh…oh he wouldn’t do that…would he?” 

“Nah,” Robin shook her head, “He always pays…guess that’s one of his charms, among many, I suppose.” 

She was looking at you again, and you leaned back in your spot, eyes lingering on the door, waiting to see him come back. 

“It’s still kind of weird to me,” Robin suddenly said thoughtfully, “I mean, if high school me heard me say that Steve Harrington was cool, and I was willingly having pizza dates with him and his daughter- she would be absolutely baffled .” 

You turned to her, a curious look in your gaze and she went on to say, “I’m pretty sure every high school had the same hierarchy, so you probably know what I’m talking about. Steve had thee title…basketball captain, swim captain, other other captain, I don’t know I was in band but…he was literally called King Steve.” 

“ King Steve? ” 

You’d never heard anything like that, at your high school there was one guy, the football captain, who dated all the cheerleaders and all that. You could actually picture Steve that way, the hot, popular jock all the girls fawned over…considering the unofficial Steve Harrington fanclub here made up of Hawkin’s Moms. 

“Oh my god, he’ll hate that I’m telling you this,” she said, chuckling to herself, “It doesn’t matter anymore though, because that was just you know- a facade. But yeah, I actually didn’t like him, like a lot- he knows this- but you know, underneath it all- he’s a good guy, probably always has been.”

You turned thoughtful, thinking of Steve in such a way. It had been mentioned before, when Heidi said she dated Steve once in high school and cried over him, or when Steve had told you during what you dared called a ‘lunch date’ in his car that one autumn afternoon that he got a lot of dates at 13. He didn’t seem to be getting them now, despite the attention he receives. 

“I’m just glad you got to know him now ,” Robin said nonchalantly, “He still has those charms, obviously I know you know the ones…” 

She eyed you and you couldn’t lie and say he didn’t. Steve was pretty irresistible, and that stupid charm of his that lingered in your mind for days on end after every interaction you’ve had with him since summer still made your stomach twist and heart flip.

“Yeah…” you said, albeit a bit breathlessly that made Robin laugh to herself. 

Steve was opening the door to the parlor, snowflakes decorating his hair and his jacket. Cassie looked the same, and she shook her head like a dog and held her dad’s hand tighter, happy about the warmth the parlor was providing.

The first thing Steve saw when he walked in was you and Robin. You were in conversation, and he watched as you smiled and laughed, and nodded and responded to his best friend in that round booth. You were enjoying it, talking to Robin, and he sucked in a tight breath, head a little foggy, and he was kind of… happy that it seemed Robin liked you. 

Cassie was saying something to him, pulling him out of trance, but he hadn’t heard what she said

“Hm?” he hummed curiously, looking down at his daughter now, seeing her gazing up at him with almost concern. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Steve paused, then laughed weakly as he tightened his grip affectionately on her hand and replied, “That’s the million dollar question, Cass…come on let’s go.”

He returned to the table, overhearing Robin say something about how she witnessed the aftermath of him accidentally renting out the wrong movie to a girl. Steve didn’t ask what she was talking about because he didn’t need to be reminded of that, and he was glad that you didn’t ask, just suppressing a laugh as he approached. 

“Are we ready to go?” 

You were all outside now, Cassie giving you a big hug good-bye before she was in between Robin and Steve, holding both of their hands, her hands were covered in these bright pink knitted mittens that were vibrant against their dark gloves. 

“I’ll get your number from Steve,” Robin had told you, to which you eagerly nodded. Steve wanted to say some kind of joke, maybe why are you stealing my new friend already? But he really loved that you and her got along that well. 

“Alright, let’s get you in the car, Tiny,” Robin said, saying a final good-bye to you before taking Cassie with her. Cassie waved at you as Robin led her to the car, and it was just you and Steve now.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you soon,” you said, standing albeit a little awkward beside him and Steve, well he looked even more awkward that even Robin cringed when she glanced over at him. 

“Yeah, I’ll call you,” he said, and you nodded, flashing him a grin before turning away. Suddenly, as Steve saw your car, he called your name, “Wait, I said I’d look at your car!” 

You stopped, looking at the car, then at him, then back at the car. 

“Let me see if it’ll start first,” you told him, not wanting to stand out in this cold further or make him stand out in this cold too. Steve followed after you regardless, standing by the car door as you settled in and put the key into its ignition. 

It started the first try, by some sort of miracle. 

“Oh, oh it’s working now,” you said with the shake of your head, embarrassed that your car made it seem like you were lying just to get Steve to look at it or something. 

“I could still look at it though,” Steve told you, leaning over the open door to look inside before glancing over at the hood, as if itching to get it opened. It made you less embarrassed and you nodded, agreeing that eventually he should, or you should get it over to the mechanics. 

With that, Steve said a sweet good-bye before lightly closing your car door for you. He even remained there, watching you go. He was also making sure the car didn’t suddenly break down once it hit the street. It didn’t, thankfully, and he finally went to his car where Robin and Cassie were waiting with the heater already on.

It was quiet, for the most part, Cassie had put her headphones on again, kicking her feet to the beat and gazing out the window with a sleepy look coming over her face. She was definitely going into a food coma.

Robin had suddenly turned in her spot in the passenger seat though to look at Steve. He could see her almost perfectly in peripherals. She was grinning at him almost slyly.

“What?” he asked, acting like he didn’t know why she was smiling like that. 

“I like her,” Robin stated. 

Warmth not from the heater washed over Steve when he heard that, and he swallowed thickly and played dumb, “You like who ?” 

Robin gave him a look, and replied, “I’m serious…you’re right when you say she is pretty amazing and I’m going to say this because I’m your best friend and I can…” 

Steve came to a stop light, and turned his head to look at Robin. 

“You would be a complete idiot if you don’t at least try and take a chance with her.”

There had been a small, amused smile on Steve’s lips, a happy one at that as well, when he heard that Robin liked you so much, but hearing this, Robin’s bluntness Steve’s smile turned into a frown and something cold came over him, like the cold breeze of the upcoming blizzard outside. 

He turned his head forward, just as the light turned green, and he started to drive through the intersection. 

Steve knows this, it’s been gnawing at him, sitting there next to you, seeing how well you fit in, how almost perfect you were to him, how perfect you’ve always been whenever he was around you. He hadn’t felt like this strongly for someone, the way the thought of you made your head buzz and insides turn delightfully, which would of course be followed by this sick, hollow feeling that he couldn’t quite describe, much like how he felt when he realized Cassie was trying to be like you in that pizza parlor. 

God, you preoccupy his mind so much, and there’s a voice in him that says ask her out, you idiot , and then another voice says just kiss her, for the love of god just kiss her . He’s felt that one on occasion, when that electricity sparked between the both of you, when your eyelashes fluttered gently at him, your lips waiting for his…

Then, there’s that other voice, the one that came out the night before when talking to Robin. You don’t have time…you know what happened the last time you tried…it’s not worth it…it’s not worth breaking her heart over . 

Most of the time, that voice was louder. 

Robin looked at her friend who was deep in thought, and reached over to pat his shoulder, “I’ll demote you back to dingus, I will.” 

That at least made Steve laugh, and he replied a little weakly, “Honestly…that’s only fair.”

✧ ✧ ✧

“Steve, I’ve only known her for like two days, if you count the day you finally told me about her.” 

Robin’s voice was coming through the phone. 

It was about a week after Christmas, and you had dropped by the market one night just before Steve’s shift ended to give him some gifts. You had finally made more mixtapes for Cassie, the bag full of them, and for Steve, you went simple and got him a Christmas card with an ice skating penguin wearing a red beanie on it with a gift card inside. It was quite a bit of money, and you insisted that he needn’t to get you anything in return. You didn’t really have anyone to buy gifts for, besides for Heidi and her family and a secret santa at the school, and wanted to do something nice.

Steve was touched, really touched, so much that the voice that kept telling him to kiss you had to be fought off with a mental broomstick. And now, he was kind of freaking out about it and had called Robin almost immediately during his break at the Family Video Store the next day. 

“It was just nice, alright, and I don’t want to get her something bad…god why am I freaking out about it though?” 

“Because you like her, dingus,” Robin teased from all the way in New York, she was on her break at her job too, “Get her like…I don’t know a mug or something, teacher’s love those. I actually love those.” 

“No…no she’s not a teacher, at least not yet,” Steve replied, pressing his hand against his face, feeling a bit ridiculous about how much he was overthinking this. 

“Get her one, speak it into the universe for her,” Robin suggested, then said like she read his thoughts, “You’re overthinking this Steve, and that’s a lot coming from me. I can’t just tell you what to buy, you know her way more than me.” 

He sighed into his hand, “What the hell am I doing…” 

“You’re a big guy, Steve, you’ll figure it out… oh hey…what about a candle?” 

She was very clearly looking at a candle someone walked by holding in the department store she worked at part-time. 

Another reason why Steve was freaking out was because he was going to see you very soon, like tonight soon and the store’s would be closing earlier than usual so that he’d have to go straight to Starcourt after his shift ends. 

He had invited you to the Wheeler’s annual New Years Eve party, yet another almost family thing he wanted you to attend because quite literally everyone in his life would be there, the kids (Not kids, anymore, Steve), Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers, Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper… everyone . 

Robin did offer some good, basic presents, a mug, a candle…but what else? He wanted to at least add his own touch to it. 

With a good-bye to Robin, he was back at work, still inside his head of what to get you when Heidi, who he has known since high school, approached him at the counter. 

“Just returning,” she told Steve, placing them down on the counter in front of him. Steve nodded, turning to the computer set up until his eyes rested on her name again. He remembered then that you had mentioned you were going to be spending Christmas with her and her family, which could only mean that she was your friend as well. 

Steve stopped typing for a good second, turning his head to look at Heidi who was poking around the new concession stand they had set up (it was Steve’s idea). She seemed particularly interested in the kettlecorn, and Steve cleared his throat as he said, “So…Heidi…how was your holiday last week?” 

She looked up at him, and replied, “It was great, how was your Christmas with Cassie?” 

“Oh great, we spent it with the Hendersons, like always…” he trailed off, unsure of how to smoothly mention you and then try to see if she can help out in any way for getting you a gift, “Who’d you spend it with?”

Heidi answered her own family, and he said, “Nobody else?” 

He wanted to kick himself for making it so obvious. He could literally see it in her eyes when it clicked he was trying to bring you up without actually saying it. Steve hadn’t talked to Heidi like this in a long time, not since high school and not since they dated for like a month or so, he talked to her at the office, yes, but he talked to everyone there. Mostly you these days, if he was being honest.

“Wait…” Heidi trailed off and then asked if he was talking about you. Steve chuckled, and nodded, deciding to just own it. It wasn’t weird, it wasn’t suspicious, he was just asking about his friend . At least that’s what he tried to convince himself to make the anxious, racing of heart stop.

“Yeah, yeah I mean her…you’re pretty good friends, huh?” 

Heidi leaned on the counter, an intrigued look crossing her features and she said, “Yes, I think so, though…I don’t think we’re good friends like you and her are…” 

Steve took the tapes Heidi returned, trying to nonchalantly work while talking to her.

“I doubt it,” Steve replied, because if he and you were such good friends why couldn’t he decide on what kind of gift to get you. Heidi chuckled. 

“Right,” she said, not buying it clearly, “Is there something you want to ask me about her?”

“Well…” Steve started, then cleared his throat before continuing to say, “I want to get her something for Christmas, a little late I know, but she got me and Cass something and I just want to return the favor.” 

Heidi rested her chin on her hand, “Do you not know what to get her?” 

“I just need some ideas,” Steve replied quickly, making her laugh. 

“Well, maybe we both are just as good as friends with her, I had trouble getting her something too,” Heidi replied honestly, and that did make Steve a little more relieved, “I got her perfume, and my kids made her a s’more set, she seemed to love it. You know…I think…anything simple, really. She’ll love anything, especially if it’s from you .”

Steve thought it was the same for him, as he displayed that penguin Christmas card on his nightstand like it was some love letter. Heidi looked a little excited by this information, like he just told her some secret. He’d forgotten this quality of her, and found it oddly comforting in a way that she still held this aspect of her.

He finished processing the return for her, and she asked him if that’s all he wanted to ask. He nodded to her, and grinned politely. 

“Yeah, yeah that’s it, thanks Heidi,” he said, and she grinned back at him and turned to leave. He supposed a candle and a mug it was…still he hated how cheap it felt. You deserved more than that, but it would have to do. 

He had about an hour more to brew up some more ideas anyway.

Meanwhile, Heidi had called you the moment she could. You were at home getting ready for the party tonight when the phone rang and you answered, this was as Steve was rushing to Starcourt after his shift ended, and Heidi relayed everything to you. 

“You said there was nothing going on, you liar, he’s getting you a gift,” Heidi said, and you sucked in a sharp breath. 

“Friends get each other gifts, you got me one, I got you one,” you said, trying to play it off even though it was quite obvious there was something more between you and Steve, something strong and unspoken, something ready to burst any moment now. 

“Yeah, but I’m not him , he likes you, and you like him,” Heidi practically beamed, “I knew you weren’t immune to Steve Harrington’s charm. I mean, his daughter visits you all the time when she can…you got him to bake cookies…you spent Thanksgiving with him…he practically shoves the faculty just to stand by you at mandatory assemblies…he likes you.” 

“He’s a good friend,” you replied, cheeks feeling a little hot. 

And just like what Robin was saying about Steve to him when she first came to Hawkins, or what Dustin Henderson had said to his girlfriend Suzie, Heidi had said, “I don’t think you realize how insane all of that is for Steve freaking Harrington. Okay, he’s been practically off the market since Cassie’s mom just up and left town.” 

You frowned, and reminded her how she told you her friend had dated him. 

“Okay, but barely , she broke it off because he was never around, he never made time for her, he definitely didn’t invite her to go to a Holiday dinner, and she met Cassie like maybe once , twice at the most and that was by accident,” Heidi explained quickly, and you were going to say something, but she was speaking again, “And here you are, coming in from the city and making him trip over himself. I’m impressed, I really am.” 

You tried to fight the feelings mustering up in your stomach, “It’s not…he’s my friend.” 

“I find it interesting how he was saying the same thing,” your friend commented. 

“Because we are just friends,” you tried to emphasize, but knowing already that no matter what you said, your friend wouldn’t believe you. At this point, you were trying to convince yourself it was all you and Steve were, all that you would ever be because then if it never happens, you couldn't be disappointed. 

You’d just learn to live with the feelings and bursts of warmths that occur at just the simple thought of him, at the idea of seeing him, if anything, you were already doing it. Steve was a friend, a good friend, and you didn’t want that to change. 

You didn’t tell Heidi any of this, feeling almost embarrassed by your outlook, plus, you didn’t want to admit to her that you did like him, a lot. She can continue speculating, and you can continue pretending she was wrong. 

“I have to go,” you had told her finally after a couple more exchanges, “I have a party to go to tonight.” 

“With Steve ?” 

You scoffed and told her a good-bye and a “Happy New Year.”

She was giggling, and told you the same before you hung up. You hoped there would be alcohol at this party, and had you any left of your favorite wine you had brought to Heidi’s Christmas Party last week, you would’ve definitely started drinking now. 

✧ ✧ ✧

Steve had always been convinced that the biggest New Years in Hawkins was the one Karen Wheeler threw every year. It was practically full, every room decorated with streamers, tinsel, party hats, appetizers on every available surface and an abundance of alcohol. 

Now, it wasn’t a crazy party, like the ones he used to attend in High School and go to school the next day with a hangover, but it was pretty big and exciting. Overwhelming too, and he had warned you about it too. 

You seemed comfortable among his friends, although he considered them more as family, even after Cassie had taken your hand when you first arrived and started introducing you to everyone as ‘Her daddy’s girlfriend.’

This horrified Steve, as when he told Karen and everyone that he was inviting you, he made sure to not make the same mistake of Thanksgiving where he didn’t tell Dustin or Claudia that you and him were just friends. 

You were amazing though, just laughing when Cassie announced you as his girlfriend to everyone present and said, “Well I am a girl, and I am his friend.” 

“Exactly!” Cassie replied, a toothy grin that made Steve become suspicious of his daughter’s intention with that comment, as she’s never said anything like that about you before. He couldn’t really dwell on it though, as Cassie was eventually dragged away by the kids (Not. Kids. Anymore. Steve), leaving the adults like him upstairs.

There were a lot of people here, Steve had warned you prior that there would be, but everytime his eyes would find you across the room, he’d find you smiling and talking to someone, though he noticed it was mostly Claudia, who was absolutely delighted to see you again. 

“So…she’s really just your friend , Steve?” 

Nancy Wheeler was suddenly beside Steve, a woman he hadn’t seen for longer than he’d seen Robin. Steve turned away from you, and looked at her. 

“What?” 

Nancy laughed, “Nevermind. How have you been? Robin told me you’re working at Scoops Ahoy again…” 

Steve grimaced, but should’ve figured Robin would tell her this. He spent the next few minutes catching up with his old friend (And high school girlfriend), Steve telling her that he read one of the stories she reported on in the paper a while ago that gained immense popularity, and so on. She had done a lot, and really all he had to report was that he was working three different jobs, and made one new friend, which was you. 

His drink was gone by the end of it, and he excused himself to go some more in the kitchen and decided before doing so he should go down to the basement to see what Cassie was up to as it was going to be close to midnight and she might fall asleep. He walked down the steps of the basement, already hearing loud cursing that irked him. The ambience of the basement was suddenly not very Steve Approved. 

They were playing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, Cassie included , sitting in between Max and Lucas as Mike Wheeler spoke dramatically, leaving everyone, including Cassie, on the edge of their seats. Well, except Max. She was giving Mike an unamused look. 

“Shit, I knew we shouldn’t have done that,” Dustin cursed when Mike came to the conclusion of his overdramatics, and Steve scoffed loudly. 

“Hey, hey, there’s a child present,” Steve told them, resting his hands on his waist. All of them looked over at Steve, and it was Max who said, “Well now there is, you just walked in..” 

There were cackles from everyone and Steve shook his head, unamused with that comment even though he felt like he walked right into it. 

“Yeah, yeah just watch your language. I don’t want my daughter cursing like a sailor,” Steve replied and they all sighed, a chorus of begrudging apologies and eyerolls being thrown his way. 

“What are you doing down here, anyway? Wouldn’t you rather be with your girlfriend?” Mike asked, leaning back in his seat and giving Steve a look. 

“Seeing if my kid’s alright, and she’s not -” Steve sucked in a breath, not wanting to waste it on telling everyone that again as the way they all looked at him told him they weren’t going to believe him otherwise. 

“She’s the same girl from the video store, right?” Max suddenly asked, making Steve pause for a moment and she added before he could respond, “The girl’s whose number you couldn’t get.”

“What?” Steve asked. 

“She was at the video store,” Max repeated, “Come on, you remember. Lucas, you were there too.” 

Lucas looked confused and Max scoffed at him.

It had taken Steve a moment before he remembered what Max was talking about, how in the summer one of the first times you met was in the video store and Max had interacted with you for even a few seconds. 

“Yes, it’s the same girl,” Steve told her, and Max snapped her fingers and gave a pointed look to Dustin, “I told you it was her.” 

“How was I supposed to know that? I wasn’t even there , I was just relaying the information of Steve’s new girlfriend,” Dustin said, before Lucas was suddenly nodding. 

“Oh, oh I remember her now,” he said, then looked at Steve, “Wait, if she’s his girlfriend then that means he did get her number.” 

“I thought it was pretty much established that he didn’t,” Max replied to her boyfriend. Steve watched as the short back and forth ensued, Cassie looking in between the two everytime one talked, and his expression became bemused as Max ended with, “He didn’t get her number.” 

She was right, he didn’t, but why he was offended by that he had no clue, because from what he remembers- he didn’t even ask for your number that day, in fact it wasn’t until a few weeks after he did (he was NOT going to tell them that though)…soon the conversation turned toward you though in the span of a few seconds. 

“I like her, she seems nice,” El had said, and Will had agreed with his sister. 

“She’s also cool, remember when I told you guys she’s interested in learning to play Dungeons and Dragons, so already better than Steve,” Dustin said, and all of them full-heartedly agreed. Steve knew it was just meant to tease him, so he didn’t take that to heart that much. 

“Right, well, I was just checking on Cass, so watch your language and please don’t make my daughter think I’m lame with your comments,” Steve said, pointing at all of them, and it was almost majestic how all of them snorted one after the other for that comment. He scowled, and was about to turn before Cassie called out to him. 

She was getting out of her seat, and then standing in front of him as she asked, “When are you going to give her our gift?”

Steve blinked for a moment before answering, “We can do it now, go get her and I’ll go grab it from the car.” He was already digging into his pockets for his keys, but Cassie was stopping him. 

“I’m playing!” she declared, “You give her it.” 

Steve furrowed his brows at his daughter and asked, “Wait, so you don’t want to watch her open the gift we got her?”

His daughter was shaking her head, but Steve felt like he saw something in her eyes, something mischievous and all in all suspicious . 

“I think I’m getting sleepy too,” Cassie said, then yawned dramatically after. Steve squinted his eyes at her, wondering why she was acting so strangely.

“Just give her the gift yourself Steve, jeesh,” Mike called, anxious to get back to the campaign and spend as much time as possible on it before the clock struck 12. Steve gave him a look before looking back at Cassie who was giving him a very sleepy smile. Sighing, he nodded and said if she’s that tired then she should lay down before he kissed her head and turned to go back upstairs. 

Cassie watched her dad go, before she turned and eagerly skipped back in her chair between Max and Lucas. 

“What are you up to, Cassie?” Max asked suspiciously, and the little girl could only laugh.

Steve had left the house, grabbing the gift from the backseat and came back in to find you. You were in the living room, sitting on the couch beside Nancy and having a conversation when Steve was suddenly placing his hand on your shoulder to capture your attention. 

You hummed as you looked up at him, cheeks a little warm from the alcohol you’ve consumed since you arrived at this party and smiling sweetly at the sight of his soft stare. 

“Come with me,” Steve told you, and you nodded, turning to tell Nancy you’d be right back. Nancy held her drink up to her lips as she said, “It’s almost midnight, don’t be away long you guys.” 

You chuckled as you stood up, taking your cup with you as you followed Steve into the kitchen. You stopped in front of the island at the center, and turned to ask Steve if everything was alright only to be met with a bright red bag being held in front of your face. 

You blinked softly, your mind moving a little slow that it was indeed a gift for you. The gift that Heidi had told you he was getting you. 

“Oh you didn’t have to…” you said, gazing at the bag. Steve shook his head. 

“No, I wanted to…Cass threw something in there too for you, by the way, I think it was a huge candy cane and a pencil, sorry to spoil the surprise.” 

You chuckled at that, taking the bag from Steve and twisting around so you could place it on the counter. Steve moved to the other side of the counter, leaning on it with both forearms as he watched with his brown eyes you start to take out the red tissue paper. 

The candy cane showed up first, and it was pretty big, the middle of it wrapped with a big red bow with a tag that said from Cassie in all caps. You smiled warmly, setting it aside gently before digging more into the gift. You didn’t find a pencil, but you did find a bag of carrots tied with the same red ribbon as the candy cane.

You laughed loudly, before your other hand covered your mouth and you tried to contain that laugh especially when you looked up and saw Steve’s face. He was completely dumbfounded staring at the carrots. 

“What the…when the hell did she put those in there?” He asked, bewildered by the reveal, “She said she put a pencil in there!” He pointed at them, before he turned his head toward the entryway to the basement, where he knew Cassie still was, knowing that if she was here she’d be laughing just like you were. Maybe that was why she was acting so weird…she threw carrots in there without telling him. 

You held the bag of carrots to your chest and said, “ I love them. Don’t know what’s going to beat these to be honest, but we’ll see.” You shook the bag lightly, feeling that it was pretty heavy, and something clinked together in there.

Steve turned back to you, horrified by what you just did and you shook it again lightly to freak him out some more before setting the carrots down and digging deeper into the bag. Your hand wrapped around something, and you knew what it was before you even brought it out. 

It was a bottle of wine. 

“ Oh .”

You looked at it closely, already feeling your mouth water just a little and you said suspiciously, “How did you know I was out?” He laughed at that, leaning away to push his hair out of his face nervously before leaning back down.

“I remember you bought that like weeks ago,” Steve told you quickly, “Then you bought it again before Christmas…I assumed it would be gone.”

You grinned widely, and set it down. You really can’t believe he remembered that. 

“There’s more in there, like two more things. Robin helped me figure out what else to get you.” 

“Then I know it’ll be good ,” you teased, making his sweet smile turn into an amused one. You took out the next thing. It was a candle, a three-wick one to be precise and you gasped loudly, tearing off the tin lid and bringing it up to your nose. 

You welcomed the sweet, vanilla scent of it, and sighed loudly. Steve was staring at you expectantly, eyes a little concerned as if he was afraid you weren’t going to like it. 

“You like it? Because I like this candle too, a lot, I’ve gone through like three of them and I thought you’d like it too,” Steve told you, and you smelled it again. 

“Are you kidding? It smells so good,” you replied, still holding the candle up to your face, “It’s so sweet, thank you.” 

You inhaled it again, before setting that aside too. Steve continued to watch with anticipation as you finally pulled the last item out. It was wrapped in paper, so you meticulously removed it before you realized it was a mug that said ‘ World’s Best Teacher.’ A little cheesy, but incredibly sweet as he said, “I know you’re not a teacher yet, but hey…when you are , you have the mug to prove it.” 

You just stared at the mug, your cheeks hurting from how much you’d been smiling and you lifted your eyes to meet him as you thanked him, “Thank you Steve…and Cassie too wherever she is.” 

You set the mug down beside the other gifts, feeling slightly overwhelmed (and a little shameful as all you got Steve was a card and giftcard). You relayed this to him and he laughed softly at you. 

“I literally displayed that card,” Steve said, before his cheeks turned red with embarrassment that he’d just said that, and he coughed into his hand before asking, “So you liked them?”

You nodded, “Yes, although…I think the carrots were my favorite,” you said jokingly. Steve scoffed at you, though the smug grin on his lips showed that he knew it was just a joke, especially as he watched you gaze almost lovingly at the three things he chose for you. 

You loved the gifts, you loved the candle, the wine…the mug …you loved…

You paused your thoughts, as they were about to say you loved him . It was silly…ridiculous even…to say you loved him. You could lie to yourself and say the love you felt for him was platonic, but you knew it was a lie. You fell in love with Steve Harrington. 

He was still looking at you, still leaning on his forearms on the island across from you, brown eyes soft and warm. Your heart just bloomed in your chest, and butterflies just erupted in your stomach, and then…you were leaning in without thinking. 

Steve went still when he felt your lips against his, having not been expecting it, not at all. You were kissing him, literally kissing him. His mind short circuited and he couldn’t keep up with it, that when you pulled away he almost thought it didn’t happen if not for the tingle left on his lips by yours. 

“I…”

Your voice was breathless, and your eyes horrified as you realized what you had just done. You stepped back, pressing your lips, that were surely tingling like Steve’s were, together and you said, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

Steve’s mind caught up with him in an instant, and he stood up straight, not wanting you to go all of a sudden. 

“Wait…” he told you, stepping out from behind the counter and moving toward you. His body was engulfed in warmth, mind with disbelief really at what just happened, and he stood in front of you, looking at you almost tenderly. 

You stared back at him, still embarrassed, body a little rigid and tense and he opened his mouth to say something more, anything, and he seemed to be stuck on what he wanted to say, eyebrows furrowing and a frown overcoming his lips before he dropped his head slightly and said, “Don’t be sorry.”

Your own eyebrows furrowed at this, cheeks heating up somehow even more , not understanding what he meant. Suddenly, you felt his hand on your cheek, his touch electrifying, and then his hand was underneath your chin, making you tilt your head upward.

Your breath hitched, not being able to take your eyes off of him. His own brown gaze had flickered downward, resting on yours lips, the lips that were just on his and then…his eyes met yours and he was leaning in again. 

You held your breath.

Then, just as you felt his lips just barely graze yours, the sound of somebody running up the stairs ripped you and Steve out of this moment. He was stepping away from you quickly, and you backed up too, your back hitting the wall just as the door was flung open and Max, Lucas, and Dustin were there wearing their New Years Party hats with a noisemaker in each of their mouths. Dustin had two in his mouth though, weirdly. 

“It’s almost time for the ball to drop,” Dustin stated, voice muffled as he shifted to the side to let Mike, El, and Will walk by the both of them, stalking toward the living room. Cassie was behind them, wearing a party hat and holding another in her hand, which she held out to you. 

“Let’s go!” she said eagerly. You couldn’t really deny her, just standing almost motionlessly as Cassie took your hand and began to pull you. You cast one last look at Steve, who was just standing there with an unreadable expression on his features. 

It was Lucas who stood there silently, looking between both you and Steve, seeing whatever it was that Max and Dustin (and understandably Cassie) seemed to not be seeing at this moment, unless they were just ignoring it. He crossed his arms and hummed quietly to himself. 

Cassie managed to pull you away then, smiling cheekily as she dragged you toward the living room where everyone would be gathered when they ring in the New Year. Steve watched Cassie take you away, expression turning almost sad .

“Hello? Earth to Steve?” Dustin said, then blew the noisemakers, making Steve jump and give him a look. 

“I heard you, Henderson, jeesh,” Steve said, turning so he could place all your gifts back into the bag. They watched him do so, Lucas with a now knowing look in his eyes and Max with a raised brow. Steve walked to the living room without looking at any of them. 

They watched him go and Lucas said, “They definitely just made out or something.” 

“Well, why wouldn’t they? They’re dating,” Max replied, walking away first. Lucas huffed and followed after her while Dustin stared at the empty kitchen, knowing that Steve and you weren’t actually dating and just playing along with the joke. 

He shook his head and said, “ Seriously ?” to himself.

✧ ✧ ✧

It was almost two weeks into the New Year, and with Cassie starting school up again, Steve dove himself into work. He did this because it was the only thing that kept him from thinking about New Years, from thinking about you . 

And it was hard work because now that he knew how your lips felt against his, he couldn’t stop thinking about you, every crevice of his mind was overtaken by you. You consumed him completely, and if it took focusing on making ten USS butterscotches, rewinding tapes all night, or restocking a bunch of ravioli cans to get him back to a more stable state of mind, that’s what he was going to have to do. 

In the meantime, you had been doing the same. One of the assistant teachers had been out for a while for the afterschool program at Hawkins Elementary, and you offered to fill in. It was easy enough to distract you, as you were doing what you loved and wanted to do for a living, but the moment you were left with your thoughts it was just of Steve and you felt confused, a bit ashamed, and incredibly heated, as when you closed your eyes you could still see the way he looked at you, and feel his large hand on your chin, so close to leaning in and kissing you again. 

Your heart fluttered in your chest at the memory, and heat pooled in your stomach. 

Then, the shame would settle in cruelly, because now it felt like you couldn’t be around the guy, too embarrassed, and fearful that he didn’t want to be around you. You felt sick at the thought of that. 

Until the day Cassie came to see you. 

The conversation had been brief, considering it was at the school library, and it ended with her asking you to join her and her dad ice skating.

“I…I’m not sure, Cass,” you said, voice soft as you were still in the library. She was holding a stack of paperback books, and was shaking her head.

“But you have to, it’s going to close, and you said you could teach me to skate,” Cassie declared, making you sigh at the little girl. 

“ Roller skate,” you replied, and she shrugged then paused before she batted her eyelashes at you and said, “My daddy wants you there, he said we can go only if you go.” 

You stared at Cassie, watching as she said ‘ pleaseeeee’ before sticking her bottom lip out to really sell the puppy dog look she was giving you. You weren’t sure if she was telling you the truth about that, as Steve would’ve called you, but you also didn’t want to say no to Cassie. 

She had made that expression to you before, when she was practically begging you to help her and Steve bake, and you didn’t have Steve to scold her. You knew then that you were for sure going to join them ice skating, and your stomach twisted at the mere thought of seeing Steve. 

What the hell were you going to say to him? You felt like puking, the anxiety was too much, but Cassie had got you to agree to it. Saturday, tomorrow , at Scoops Ahoy in Starcourt (As the skating rink was set up in their parking lot). She had skipped away with a smile on her lips, probably happy knowing she got her way. 

✧ ✧ ✧

It wasn’t a busy day at Scoops Ahoy, as it usually goes in the Winter. There were quite a few people who enjoyed a nice scoop of ice cream or a sundae on even a day as cold as this one, which was probably the coldest day of the season. Still, even with those types of people it wasn’t busy, so Steve was able to easily hold down the fort on his own until his shift ended.

He mainly stayed in the back, doing extra work in counting the inventory of the freezer. He made sure, too, to stay close to the window, so he could hear if any customers approached the counter.

Eventually, the bell did ring, taking his focus away from the numbers on the clipboard he was currently looking over. He didn’t look up, wanting to finish what he was doing first, so instead he called, “Be with you in a moment!” His voice muffled as he had a pen between his lips.

He pulled the pen off of its cap, and it remained between his lips as he quickly jotted something down beside the vanilla ice cream portion. When he finished, he suddenly felt compelled to look up. When he did, he almost spit the cap out on the floor. 

It was the person who had been plaguing his every thought when it wasn’t focused on a task, the person whose lips had touched his if even for a second. It was you , and he had to blink a few times, wondering if he’d become so overworked that he hallucinated you. 

When you smiled sweetly at him, and waved a gloved hand at him, he knew for sure you were real. 

He’d never seen you here before, never , and he suddenly felt, for the first time since high school, very self-conscious in his silly uniform. Thank god he decided to go without the sailor hat today. He very quickly started to move, setting the clipboard aside and taking the cap out of his mouth before he smiled back at you and scrambled to the door that led back to behind the counter. 

“Hey!” Steve said, his voice a little higher than usual, especially when he saw you did a quick glance at the uniform, and he quickly asked, “What- what are you doing here?” 

At his question you lifted your eyes at him and tilted your head as you replied, “I uh…Cassie told me to come. I don’t see her anywhere though?” 

You turned away from Steve, as if not wanting to make eye contact with him as you gestured around the parlor, which made his heart tear, but not when he realized what you had just said. Cassie told you to come?

“Wait- she told you to come here? Right now?” he asked. You nodded, finally looking at him. 

“Yeah, she said something about going ice skating with you both? And well, she conned me into agreeing,” you said, then laughed lamely at your own joke. Steve didn’t laugh, not because he didn’t find it funny, in fact he liked when you laughed at your own remarks, but because…Cassie wasn’t here , and they never discussed going ice skating. Well they did, but the answer was no . 

“If you don’t want me to join because- well- I mean- you know - I can go, I really don’t mind,” you were starting to say, but Steve was suddenly resting his hands on his waist and shook his head.

“No! Well…I mean…I think she conned both of us,” he replied incredulously, “We’re not…she’s not even here - I won’t even see her until tomorrow because she’s at a sleepover.”

This had visibly taken you off guard, your eyebrows that were once furrowed were not raising before you opened your mouth and let out a breath. 

“She is?” you asked, “When was that planned?” 

“Earlier this week,” Steve replied, shaking his head in disbelief. What was Cassie thinking? Creating a fake plan and making you come all the way down here? He was genuinely confused by her strange behavior. Immediately, he started to apologize for her, “I’m so sorry, I don’t know why she would even do that. I mean, I know she wants to go ice skating really bad, but- I didn’t think she’d make something up in order to go ice skating, but, she’s not even here -” 

“No, no it’s okay, maybe I misheard her,” you said, though you were sure you didn’t, but decided to convince yourself that you did. You rather ended up laughing, finding a bit of amusement in the situation. Steve listened to your laugh, the awkward feeling he dreaded when he would see you again was replaced with a familiar warmth.

He laughed too, finally. 

“I know you said it’s okay, but yeah I’m sorry,” he said after laughing, and you nodded. 

“Well…since I’m here I can’t help but recall…” you trailed off, and Steve’s stomach twisted pleasantly, thinking you were going to bring up that New Years kiss, but you lifted your eyes away from him and looked at the menu before finishing with, “...that you said you’d make me a…what was it? A USS Butterscotch ?” 

Steve tilted his head, then laughed breathlessly as he remembered he did technically say he’d treat you to some free ice cream that night. Your eyes averted back to his, and he reached to grab his scooper from his uniform and flipped it expertly as he said, “Coming right up…and maybe, if you want , just to get Cassie back…we could go ice skating and make sure to tell her all about it.” 

The thought made you giggle, imagining his daughter’s face realizing her whatever little trick she had planned backfired and that they still went ice skating without her. 

Soon you were sitting at a booth, Steve sitting across from you and pushing the well-made sundae toward you, then he slid over a spoon as well. 

“I think this is the best one I’ve made,” he admitted to you, though his leg was still bouncing underneath the table, nervous for some reason that you’d hate it. He felt ridiculous because it was ice cream and he’s never met anyone who hated it, especially if it was free and as beautiful as the sundae he just made for you. 

“I like the cones as sails,” you commented, leaning down to admire the piece of art he’d made in an Ice Cream parlor, “It’s cute .”

“ Cute , yeah it is,” he said, though he wasn’t looking at the sundae and you noticed it. You smiled, your heart pacing in your chest before you took the plastic spoon from him, grazing your fingers with his in the process. That was an accident, but a happy one as Steve sucked in a tight breath as he watched you scoop some onto your spoon, taking a cherry one one of the scoops with it. 

It was good, really good, so much that you went for a second spoonful immediately and Steve grinned, “Enjoying it?” 

“This is delicious, damn, I bet it tastes even better in the summer,” you said before taking another spoonful, “Also, I didn’t say , but I love the uniform.” 

You meant it too, the sailor costume suited him somehow, and you thought the shorts looked pretty good on him too. You did feel bad, just a bit, that he had to wear shorts during the winter though. 

His cheeks turned red, and it made you chuckle into your spoon, “Hard to believe no girls liked you when you first worked here, honestly, I think I would’ve been in here everyday to see King Steve serve ice cream.” 

“Believe me, I would’ve had a much better time if you were in here all the time back then,” Steve replied, “You’d probably skate in on your disco roller skates or something, because more than likely you would’ve worked at the old skating rink.”

“ Old skating rink?” you asked, and he nodded and told you that there had been a skating rink where the mall’s arcade is now, but there was a fire a few years back and they never brought it back. You hummed with interest as you ate more of the ice cream. 

“Yeah, they had these uniforms too, not as ridiculous as this ,” he said, patting himself on the chest, “But it was vibrant, and I think they had to wear glow sticks , and then they’d be playing disco music constantly, you would’ve loved it.” 

“Was…” you suddenly paused, the question you were about to ask feeling like one that would overstep a boundary. Steve tilted his head curiously at you, and you shook your head as you averted your attention back to the ice cream. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” you replied quickly, “Just a dumb question I don’t need the answer to.”

“Well, now I gotta know, come on…just ask,” Steve said, feeling his heart starting to blossom in his chest. He wondered if you were going to ask about New Years, even though it would seem quite random in the conversation. 

You set the spoon into the sundae, and said, “I was just going to ask if…Cassie’s mom was one of those girls.” 

Steve paused, not expecting that out of all questions. It’s never come up in conversation with the both of you, but it wasn’t all surprising after a second of contemplation. She had been looming over him lately. He shifted in his spot, and inhaled before he said, “Nah. She actually knew me before …we were actually friends …but…yeah it’s a long story. It uh…we actually worked at the video store together after me and Robin got fired from Scoops and well..yeah you know…I guess it does say something that we didn’t get together when I worked here.”

You were relieved he had replied. He leaned back in the booth, a troubled look coming over his features as if he didn’t know what else to say, and you cleared your throat as you ate another scoop then set the spoon down. 

“Sorry for asking, it isn’t my place,” you said, cheeks turning warm and feeling stupid, but he quickly shook his head. 

“No, no , it’s alright,” he said, “I mean Cassie had a mom, obviously, she’s just not here and I can’t be mad at you for being curious.” 

You smiled tightly, and he reached up to smooth his hair back before he exhaled softly and said, sensing you weren’t convinced it was okay, “Seriously. It’s okay. I can even tell you more actually, if you want. She…she was my friend once, then we weren’t friends for a while because she skipped town, then one day she came back and we were friends again and uh…then well… a year later Cassie was born and she left again .” 

He was purposely not telling you specifics, and you weren’t going to press him, still feeling like you were overstepping even though he assured you that you weren’t. You took the spoon again, messing with the ice cream and tearing your eyes away from him as you said, “I’m sorry.” 

Steve shook his head again, then waved his hand for added effect, “You don’t have to be sorry about anything…you know…like on New Years.” 

At the mention of it, you froze, having thought that him not mentioning it meant there was silent agreement to not bring it up and just forget it. You were doing so well not being so awkward. You looked up at him, seeing his cheeks were a little pink before he leaned both hands on the table between you and shot you a sweet grin, and he said, “We were both a little tipsy.” 

For some reason, that made your heart drop and you realized you maybe thought he was going to declare his love for you or something. Not wanting to show it on your face, you were quick to take another scoop of ice cream and stick the spoonful in your mouth before you forced yourself to laugh.

Steve’s eyes flickered your expression without you noticing, a frown flashing over his lips before he too forced a laugh out. Then, both of you were saved by the bell. He turned his head, seeing a family standing by the counter and his eyes flashed to the clock. This would for sure be his last customer before clocking out, before you both go ice skating to spite his trickster of a daughter. 

Meanwhile, as he excused himself, you made it your goal to finish the sundae as a distraction from the conflicted feelings that were stirring inside of you. 

15 minutes had passed then, and before you knew it Steve was emerging from the backroom in a dark red sweatshirt and loose dark gray sweatpants while holding his winter coat in one arm. He certainly looked like someone who was expecting to go straight home after work, because after all it wasn’t planned and you told him that you didn’t have to ice skate if he’d rather go home. 

“No way. I’m not gonna let Cass do this to us without consequences,” he said as he shrugged on his coat, then helped you put yours back on like it was second nature. You didn’t even notice as you put your arms through the sleeves and he pat your shoulders down. 

“We could always just say we went ice skating,” you said, and Steve shook his head. 

“No, we’re doing this for real,” he said, determined to go ice skating even if it was starting to snow outside again, because after all the ice skating rink was set up in the parking lot of Starcourt. Couples, families, groups of teens already with their rental skates on skating in a circle by the time you were out there with Steve, holding your respective rental skates.

After getting the skates on, you placed your beanie on your head, and then your gloves while Steve pulled random gloves from his coat pocket and placed them on his hands as well. You wondered if he was warm enough as you observed him, eyes flickering over the snowflakes that decorated the strands of his brunette hair. 

You were a bit jealous of them, then felt ridiculous for being jealous of a damn snowflake. You scowled at your silly thoughts as you stood up, balancing on the skates with ease and Steve lifted his head at you then did the same. Although, he wasn’t as elegant as you. Immediately his arms spread out, and his legs twisted awkwardly. 

“Oh shit ,” he said, desperately trying to balance on the blades and you could only stand there staring at him, amusement replacing your self-embarrassment. 

“Are you good?” you asked, and after a moment he managed to keep still and without looking up from the ground he replied, “Totally. I’m totally good. Don’t worry about me.” 

You furrowed your brows before you said, “Have you ice skated before Steve?” 

“ Yeah ,” he said, trying to step toward you confidently but then cursing when his foot bent slightly. You caught his hands this time, laughing softly, “I’m just not, you know, good at it.”

“I find that hard to believe,” you said, letting his hands grip yours tightly as he found his balance again. You weren’t even on the ice yet. At your words, Steve lifted his head to meet your eyes, and your faces were in such close proximity that his cheeks grew warm. 

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“Just Robin went on about how you were good at everything in high school,” you teased, starting to step backward toward the ice. Steve grasped your hands tighter, and replied with a nervous laugh, “Everyone has their weakness. I wasn’t a hockey player, I was a basketball, baseball, tennis, badminton…” he trailed off purposely with other sports that had nothing to do with ice skating, making you giggle. 

“Are you sure you want to do this then? Like I said we could always just say we went ice skating,” you said as you were right at the ice. Steve nodded confidently. 

“I mean, I already got the skates on, and then I have a skater to help me so…” 

“Well, I am better at roller skating…but if we both fall and get hurt at least we’ll have evidence we went ice skating,” you said, half-joking as you yourself were a bit nervous. You were for sure more of a roller skater than an ice skater, but it seemed like Steve didn’t know the difference. A skater was good at all kinds of skating to him. 

“God the last thing I need is to get injured,” he said, hands still clasped tightly around yours, “ Oh my god .” 

You were on the ice now, gliding backwards and pulling Steve with you. His legs spread out, he nearly fell onto you as you laughed. 

“Should we have brought Cassie’s elbow and knee pads for you?” You teased again, and he laughed sarcastically.

“Ha. Ha. Very funny,” he said then panicked when he almost slipped, and would’ve fallen had you not been holding onto him, “Yup, yup this was a bad idea,” he told you, eyes wide and cheeks even more red from embarrassment and the cold weather. 

You shook your head and said, “We’re already here! Come on, let’s at least skate one lap.” 

From afar there was a shout, then laughter and you both turned your heads to see someone had fallen and their friends were laughing at them. They flipped them off before moving to stand, and Steve grimaced, already imagining that to be him . 

“Here,” you removed one hand from his, and his eyes grew even wider, believing for a second you were going to do what some parents do when teaching their kids how to swim, just throwing them into the water so their survival instincts kick in (except you were going to leave him, a grown man, on a sheet of ice wearing knives for shoes), but you kept a firm hold on one hand, “Just focus on staying balanced, and if you think you’re going to fall…well let me go so I don’t go down either .” 

Steve glided away from you, but found a nice balance by just holding your hand. Truth be told, he was starting to get an idea, as it really wasn’t his first time ice skating. Just after the first time he vowed never to do it again, yet, here he was with the woman he couldn’t stop thinking about even before that tipsy (though you both knew you were anything but tipsy that night) willingly ice skating. 

“ One lap ,” Steve told you, and you squeezed his hand. 

“One lap,” you repeated, then grinned as you glided forward, Steve’s wobbling legs struggling to follow suit. 

From an outsider's perspective, you and Steve appeared to be a couple on some sort of date, and since there were people there who recognized the pair to be you and Steve, such as Holly Wheeler with her friends, and a few faculty members of Hawkins Elementary, it seemed to them that it was a date. That you and Steve, as they all suspected, were together romantically. 

Your laughs could be heard by them as you passed by, and whenever you were looking forward, Steve would be looking at you with adoration in brown eyes, blinking only to get the snowflakes off of his thick lashes because he didn’t want to have any other reason to take his eyes off of you. 

He was clearly, so desperately, in love with you from the eyes of others, clear to everyone but the two people it should be clear to. As far as you both knew (or convinced yourselves really), you were just friends who decided to skate together in the beginning of the final snow storm of the season, as the wind picked up and the snowfall became more frequent. 

You had skated more than one lap, your hands not leaving each other even once as you shared this moment together, and you would’ve gone for more had the rink decided not to close early. Both of you were disappointed, hating that the fun was over so soon, hating that you’d have to leave each other again, all so you both can go home and lay in your respective beds with warmth bursting in your stomachs at the thought of the other. You would both look at the phones, thinking if you should call the other, if the other would pick up right away because these feelings were killing them too. 

It seemed though that the night wouldn’t end that way, as Steve had walked you to your car like the gentleman he was, and it didn’t start . You were practically shivering as you attempted to start it again, twisting the key in the ignition and getting nothing. 

“Well damn ,” you said with a scowl, and a chatter of your teeth as Steve furrowed his eyebrows before he cursed himself. 

“I said I’d look at your car and I never did,” he said, finding a way to blame himself for your predicament, but you were quick to brush it off. 

“No it’s my fault, I had plenty of chances to get it looked at and I just…never did,” you laughed, feeling foolish, “It would break down in the middle of a snow storm though.” 

Steve laughed too, though it was more of a pity laugh before he said he’d be more than happy to take you home, promising that there’d be working heat in his car. You didn’t have to be asked twice, letting him lead you toward his familiar car. 

✧ ✧ ✧

The blizzard had gotten worse by the time Steve pulled up to your house, pulling the car into your empty driveway carefully with a hyperfocus driver’s in the snow should have. His lights were barely able to capture your garage door, stepping on the breaks as he did. Your seatbelt locked, and you bounced forward slightly as he quickly apologized. 

“It’s so bad out there, god,” you commented, not blaming him for almost crashing into your garage. You also silently thought to yourself it was just as well that your car broke down and Steve had to take you home. You probably would’ve never made it here had you had to drive alone from Starcourt. 

“ Yeah ,” Steve agreed, looking through the windshield as the wipers worked overtime to get the snow off, “I hope I can get home in this.” He shook his head with discontentment, and you blinked, an idea popping in your mind. 

“You don’t have to…we can put your car in the garage, and you can stay until it dies down a little?” you suggested innocently. Steve looked at you now, looking quite touched by your invitation and you offered a small smile. 

“Would it be okay to ask for something hot? Like coffee?” he asked you, and you chuckled. 

“You read my mind.”

It’s how you found yourself in your kitchen with Steve Harrington for the second time, except this time neither of you were covered in various baking ingredients. You were in front of your french coffee press, the thick scent of coffee beans filling the atmosphere. Steve was rubbing his hands together, desperate to feel some kind of heat as your heater was barely kicking on.

The wind blew outside, causing the boards of your windows to knock together loudly and then your house to shake momentarily as well. Steve looked around, and then blew into his hands as he said, “You mind if I take the couch? I doubt this is going to go down anytime soon.” 

You glanced at him, the idea of him sleeping over making your heart leap of your chest, as you felt the last thing you needed was the man you desperately wanted romantically, but couldn’t have to be sleeping under the same roof as you. You wouldn’t be able to sleep, but who would you be to refuse a friend , especially in a storm like this. 

You poured coffee into one of the mugs you had taken out of the cupboard, clearing your throat as you said, “No, I don’t mind, I’ll get some extra blankets and pillows after this…I actually wonder if Cassie is okay.” 

“Oh I know she’s loving this,” Steve replied, noticing you were pouring coffee into a mug and staring at the steaming mug with anticipation, “She’s probably only upset she’s not home because when blizzards like this happen I usually make her hot chocolate and we sit in the kitchen just listening to it or in the living room staring out the window. Weather like this intrigues her.” 

You smiled, and said, “That’s good. I’d be scared to death at her age, honestly.”

You held the mug out for Steve and he gladly took it, inhaling deeply and practically moaning. You laughed at that, cheeks becoming inflamed as you put creamer into your coffee to sweeten it up. Steve did the same. 

“Yeah, me too,” he replied to your prior statement, “I actually used to think the house was going to blow away and we’d end up halfway across the country.” 

“Honestly, at this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised,” you said just as another sharp gust of wind passed and gave a violent shake to the house. Steve looked around again, looking nervous now that it may be true, but the number of blizzards he went through in his childhood alone was enough evidence to know that it simply wasn’t possible. It was one of the main reasons he made sure Cassie wouldn’t have to endure a bad storm or blizzard like this alone.

Steve took a sip of his coffee then, not caring that it was still too hot to drink, and just wanting to feel some kind of warmth as it seemed your heater was struggling to fight against the cold. It should’ve been the first sign that something was going to happen. 

You leaned into your counter, holding your own mug with both hands and breathing in the steam deeply and closing your eyes.

“This is kind of nice, actually,” you admitted as you took a sip as well, listening to the harsh winds and Steve agreed.

“Thanks for letting me stay, by the way,” he told you, “I thought maybe I’d be pushing it by asking.”

You shook your head, as your concern wasn’t with him overstepping any kind of boundary. 

“Don’t. I mean, we’re friends, Steve,” you willed yourself to say into your coffee.

Steve averted his eyes to yours, seeing you were looking mindlessly at nothing, and he pressed his lips together before breathlessly saying, “ Yeah , friends.”

You both silently drank your coffee, enjoying its warmth and enjoying the way it eased the sudden awkwardness between the two of you. It was a perfect distraction, for the time being, until you both wanted more.

As you poured a second round of coffee into his mug, Steve cleared his throat and said, “ Great coffee.” 

You thanked him cheekily, and Steve dragged the mug closer to him, keeping his gaze on you as you poured more into your own mug. He didn’t know what to say, unsure, but there was a sudden hard gust of wind, and then it sounded like something crashed . You both had jumped, you were thankfully not holding the coffee, and before either of you could question what just happened, you were suddenly engulfed in darkness. 

“God, the lights went out!” you called, hands grasping your kitchen counter as you navigated in the darkness. Steve noticed you sounded further into the kitchen, and blinked his eyes a few times trying to adjust to the sudden darkness. 

“Got any flashlights?” Steve asked you, speaking the direction of a drawer being opened and rummaged through. 

“In the garage,” you told him, and then he saw a small flicker of light. You were holding an ignited match, and then, you were lighting a candle to at least give some light for your venture to the garage.

You approached Steve then, holding the lit up candle in your hand and Steve was immediately met with the familiar vanilla scented candle he had in his own house, the same candle he had gifted you on New Years. 

“Hey…I know this candle,” Steve said, and you chuckled softly as you replied, “ Yeah , huh, it’s like you knew we’d need this.” 

Steve inhaled deeply, loving the smell and you did the same, and said, “I love it so much.” 

Your face was illuminated by the candlelight, casting a pretty glow on your features and Steve had to release a breath, a breath of which almost blew the candle out. This made you laugh and lean away from him to make sure he didn’t and told him to follow you. 

You and him had gone into your garage, you picking out the flashlights that Steve turned on so you more light than the candle. It was the harsh cold in there that made you both realize that if the power was out, then you wouldn’t have your heater . 

“We’re going to freeze,” you said in a dreadful tone, already feeling a chill coming over you. Steve was holding your only working flashlight, and shined it around your living room as he said something about body warmth , before he paused and said, “We can light a fire? Have any wood?” 

You promptly looked over his body warmth comment, since he seemed to do so, and you paused as you remembered that in early December Heidi’s husband had given you a bunch of firewood because he had cut too many. You had planned to use it, but never found the time to actually start a fire, so it simply sat in your garage. You relayed this to Steve, and he seemed more than happy to go and get them. 

“We should bring all the blankets and pillows you have out here so we can sit on the floor,” Steve told you, and you nodded, turning to go grab those while Steve busied himself with starting a fire. You had decided, as well, that you were going to light various candles, or at least the ones you could find. 

You placed them on a few surfaces located in your living room, and just as you set down the last one, a fire was ignited in your fireplace and Steve was leaning over it, rubbing his hands in front of the growing flames and nodding as if proud of himself that you weren’t going to freeze to death, not on his watch. 

The sight made you smile, thankful that Steve was here and thankful that you never used the firewood. He turned then, looking around the dimly lit living room as he noticed there were more candles and you watched his brown eyes flicker all over the room until they finally found you. 

“Ah, there you are, come on, it’s warmer right here,” Steve told you, and you set down the candle and obliged. You fell to the ground next to him, not before grabbing one of your blankets, and sighed at the heat that emitted from the well lit fire. 

“Better?” he asked you and nodded. 

“ Yeah ,” you said, holding your hands out to the flame and Steve gave a nod as he said, “Good.” 

After getting a bit warm, Steve suddenly laughed and said, “Got any more of that wine I got you? Could help warm us up a bit more.” 

You were quick to stand, loving that idea, and Steve seemed surprised that you in fact did have the wine. You took the flashlight, and he listened to a bit of rustling in the kitchen and the sound of a cabinet being opened and closed followed by the sound of glasses clinking. 

As you were setting everything on the counter, there was another gust of wind that shook the house violently, and you almost dropped one of the glasses. You looked around, then shook your head and wondered as you grabbed the wine if you had a battery operated stereo. 

You did, actually, and thought Steve might appreciate something playing over the harsh sound of the blizzard going on outside…even if it was just disco music. 

It actually amused Steve, as he poked at the growing fire, and then started to busy himself with setting up the blankets and pillows you had thrown on the floor more comfortably, when he suddenly heard music from behind him. 

“So we don’t have to listen to this blizzard threatening to blow my house across the country,” you said with a giggle as you walk toward him, already feeling the warmth of the crackling fire. Steve grinned, and told you it was a good idea and you settled onto the floor beside him, holding out a wine glass to him. 

“Is this the same one I got you on New Years, or is it a whole new one?” Steve asked you as he took the wine from you, determined to be the one to pour it like the gentleman he was. 

“It’s the same one,” you said, holding out your own glass and watching him pour the dark liquid in it, “I didn’t have time to drink it…and if I did, we would’ve even had any because I wouldn’t have had time to get another anyway…” 

“Well, thank goodness for a busy schedule,” Steve joked as he finished pouring some into his own glass and he lifted it toward you, “Cheers.” 

You clink your glass with his with a soft laugh before you settled into the nest of pillows and blankets and begin sipping your wine. The house warmed up gradually, or at least in the living room where you sat, and the wine, even after a couple of sips, was doing its job as well. You felt a warm heat settle in you caused by the alcohol, and was growing more content with the situation you found yourself in with Steve. 

Plus, the fire was pleasant to just stare at him, the wood crackling and embers glowing. 

After another minute of silence, Steve turned to you and said almost jokingly, “So…I’m gonna be here for a while. Plenty of time for us to exchange our life story, actually.”

He laughed softly after and so did you, but then another silence fell before the both of you.

As Steve sat there, thinking about how to follow up with that, he suddenly thought of your question from earlier in Scoops Ahoy, and while he really didn’t mind you asking, he did wonder why you asked anyway. So, he brought it up again and that dread crossed your face was apparent. 

He thought it was cute though, seeing you distressed about it when you didn’t need to be and said, “I just wanna know. Did someone say anything because this town talks.”

You turned to him, leaning your elbow on the couch you were leaning on and told him that Heidi had brought it up, which didn’t surprise him.

“I was just curious,” you said lamely, “We were talking about you, and then it just came up about her leaving or something.”

Steve was about to sip his wine but stopped midway, ears almost perking like a dog’s reaction to the sound of a crinkling bag when he heard you and Heidi were talking about him. 

“You were talking about me?” He asked, adding a teasing element to his voice. You looked at him, and scoffed slightly, seeing him grin slyly at you even in the dim lighting from the fire.

You were going to lie to him, say that he was brought up in conversation because of Cassie or some school event, but something suddenly compelled you to tell the truth of the contents of the conversation before the New Year’s party, before you kissed him and he almost kissed you again. You brought your wine up to your lips, downing most of it in order to muster up whatever courage you could.

Steve was already holding the wine bottle out in order to refill your glass. You held it out to him as you spoke.

“Well, she was just saying that you’ve never spent so much time with another woman since Cassie’s mom,” you said, keeping your eyes on Steve to observe his reaction, “She seems to think that it’s because you like me…”

Saying it outloud had you inwardly cringing, as you felt like a teenager again trying to tell her crush that she likes him and hopes he likes her too. These feelings had a way of bringing that out, so much that you just kept talking.

“I keep telling her we’re just friends though,” you added quickly when he was done pouring wine, “But you probably know how she is…” 

As you continued to talk, finding excuses for what you’d just said, Steve could only watch you, drinking his own glass of wine, slightly amused by your rambling. 

“But that’s a lie because she did tell me that you had seen someone else, I don’t know her name but-”

“Brenda?” Steve said, and the sound of him speaking and you froze, realizing you had started to ramble and immediately shrunk in your spot as you forced yourself to meet his eyes and shrugged weakly. He sipped the rest of his wine, then went to pour more in his own glass, “God, this town probably knows more about my life than I do.” 

He laughed weakly, and you sighed. 

“I don’t purposely go around asking about you, by the way, I like to learn whatever it is about you with you, like now,” you said nervously, and Steve half-smiled at that. 

“Even if you did, I can't blame you, I don’t really talk about that part of my life because…well I’m more concerned with Cassie,” he said, then coughed slightly, “But uh- what else did she tell you?” 

You blinked softly, then said, half-lying to yourself, “For the record I don’t take her words to heart…but she said that…well you never did things with Brenda that you do with me.” 

Steve was very quickly reminded by Robin’s words the first night was back in Hawkins for a visit. She was right, Steve thought, Steve doesn’t just let people in his life. He doesn’t just invite anyone to Thanksgiving, and now New Years , go apple-picking with anyone who isn’t his daughter, and or suggest going ice skating when he knew he wasn’t very good at it. He doesn’t do these things, not since…well Robin had brought that up too . 

“It’s silly, I try not to think too much about it because-” 

“She’s right,” Steve suddenly said, and stared at the flames of the fire for a moment before he continued to say, “I didn’t do any of that with her…I haven’t done a lot of things with anyone since Cassie’s mom…until now that is.” 

It was a big step for him to even say anything, feeling slightly nervous, and you tilted your head gently. He pressed his lips together before chuckling breathlessly, hating that the thought of her mom in this context still bugged him so bad. 

But he did say you both would have time to share each other’s life stories, even though it was jokingly. He sipped his wine again, then licked his lips nervously before he said, “I was just not comfortable letting anyone into Cassie’s life, and she had told me she understood and would be okay with it…but I guess she changed her mind and forgot to let me know.” 

“So it just didn’t work out,” you said, and he nodded. 

“Yeah, and it made feel terrible, and stupid honestly, but…Cassie’s my number one priority, and always will be…after what happened with her mom…I have a hard time with you know, romance ,” he laughed bitterly at the end of his sentence, and it made you frown as you could tell it wasn’t out of amusement. 

“Did you love her?” 

It seemed only natural to the conversation for you to ask.

“Did I love Brenda? No,” he said, then felt bad how easily he said it, “God that sounds so bad...it just wasn’t really a loss like Cassie’s mom had been. Only disappointing.”

You pressed your lips together gently, then said, “So you loved Cassie’s mom.”

Steve paused. He never really thought of her in that aspect anymore, as he struggled to admit he had any romantic feelings toward her because of the frustration of her just leaving Cassie. But he did love her, he couldn’t change that…

“We were never… together though, always just friends, and when she came back to Hawkins a year after we graduated and worked together at the Video Store…we decided to hook up. It was one night, and then…she was pregnant,” Steve told this without warning really, but you were intrigued by the story you wouldn’t admit that you wanted to hear. You’d rather it from him, then anyone else to know what happened. 

“So… yeah I did love her, at least after, I mean, she was pregnant with our child you know? Totally unplanned, and I wasn’t about to just leave her, so I stayed and then I fell in love…but I guess I was the only one...to fall in love and to stay.”

He downed the rest of his coffee, and you took a sip of yours. 

“That’s… a lot ,” you said truthfully, not knowing what else to even say. Steve nodded. 

“Yeah, yeah you’re telling me,” he said, placing his mug down for the last time, “What about you? Have any tragic love stories?” He was attempting to lighten the mood after his short rant, and you could only shake your head. 

“Like that one? No , I’ve never had the time,” you said, which was something Steve could relate to, “I was really into my studies, always to myself, I barely even had friends …then you know, my dad got sick, so I stopped my life to be with him at the end of his...and now here I am.” 

You gestured around the room, and Steve shook his head as if he were in disbelief, “Really? Is it just me, the single dad in the room, who has a tragic love story?”

You laughed and shrugged, and he said, “Yeah…it’s rough , but…at least I have Cassie…and well… you .” 

He was taking a risk saying that to you, knowing he meant more than just as a friend. You found yourself smiling weakly at that, the heat of the room and alcohol intermixing with the normal warmth Steve always made you feel.

You sipped your wine slowly then, and you asked him if he could tell you what happened with Cassie’s mom. Steve looked torn by the question, eyes falling to the wine as he swirled it nervously and let out a breath. 

“I still don’t know the answer to that,” Steve said bitterly, then shook his head, “For a while, we just co-parented you know, then one day she dropped Cassie off and just…never came back.”

You looked saddened by his words, and Steve took another long sip of his wine, finishing his second glass. You grabbed the bottle, pouring some more in your glass before holding it out for Steve. He held his glass out, thanking you quietly. He hated talking about this, but maybe it was time he did. 

“Did you ever find her?” 

Steve shook his head, laughing bitterly at that. 

“Nope, and I tried. I really did, but…she just vanished off the face of earth.” 

You kept your gaze on the side of Steve’s face, even as you sipped your wine. You could barely see him in the dim lighting of the fire that was still ablaze in your fireplace beside the both of you. Steve sighed, rotating his wine glass again before he started to speak again.

“I was so fucking mad,” he admitted,  “Not because I had to take care of Cassie myself, no I could handle that, I was practically doing it already, it was just…you know… Cassie . She didn’t understand that her mom just left her.”

The memories of those days that followed flooded through his mind, memories that still made Steve mad. Cassie was so young, too young, and he remembered how every morning she would sit in the living room by the window just waiting for her mom to show up. He kept looking for her during those days, calling around, even actively going out , but her trailer was practically abandoned, everything left behind but all her clothes, the same suitcase she used when she stayed with Steve and his parents during the last month of her pregnancy, and her car. She just dropped Cassie off and left, and it was planned. 

He didn’t realize his fists were clenching, and his body was becoming tense. You did though, frowning softly as you reached over to touch his shoulder. Steve turned his head a bit, feeling your touch bringing him back to reality. 

“I remember her just waiting by the window for her to just show up, then just watching her give up …” he continued, now looking at you, “And…to be honest, I’m so fucking scared what that is going to do to her. Right now she is okay, she is happy , but what happens when she gets older and when she asks me what happened to mom? And I have to tell her that her own mom abandoned her? And it’s suddenly a concept she fully grasps? What the hell am I going to do?”

He was asking you, even though he knew it wasn’t fair to. Cassie wasn’t your responsibility, but as the months turn into years the question has just been gnawing at him everytime he looked at his little girl, remembering her little face of defeat when she started to realize her mom wasn’t going to come back to her. When she stopped sitting by that window.

It broke his heart, and he wished somehow that he could’ve shielded her from it all. 

“It’s…not really the same thing, but…” 

You actually speaking made Steve’s eyes flicker back to yours. 

“I mean, I was also the daughter of a single dad, as you know,” you started, “My mom passed away when I had barely turned 5. Her funeral is one of the first things I remember, but even then it’s a little fuzzy. I barely remember her actually or even how she looked aside from a few pictures we had, but my dad never put any of them up again when we moved. She didn’t abandon me, not like Cassie’s mom, but as a kid who barely understood death it kind of felt like it.” 

You shifted in your spot, eyes looking at the fire now and it was Steve’s turn to stare at you. 

“My dad was always gone too, always working, and I never really had a constant person beside him in my life and even then, he wasn’t really constant. He had to work, you know, keep him and his daughter fed. We had our special moments though,” you smiled to yourself, though it was sad he worked so much you still cherished when you’d go out to a burger joint sometimes, when he saved up to buy you your first pair of roller skates, almost enough to make you overlook the years you spent by yourself. 

“There were some, like my fifth grade teacher I mentioned, you probably don’t even remember,” you laughed, but Steve shook his head.

“No I do, you brought her up when we were baking,” Steve said, and you felt a bit flushed that he remembered something as small as that, but promptly blamed it on the alcohol sloshing through you and making you warmer than usual. 

“Yeah, she was there for a bit, but then we moved- for the last time thankfully- to the city where there was more work for him,” you continued, “And…I was alone again. I did fun stuff, it’s where I was first introduced to disco…” You lifted your hand, gesturing to the boombox that had been playing the occasional 70s disco hit in the background of your conversation.

Steve smiled at that, disco suddenly taking a place in his heart in a way he never expected it to. 

“But I was alone , and a lot of the time I resented my mom, my dad too because at times it felt like they both left me,” you said, “I didn’t have anybody but myself, and…it certainly affects me even to this day.” 

You took a break to take a sip of your wine, in fact, you were chugging it and Steve just watched you. Despite Steve getting to know you, he knew what you meant. Every snippet of your life, from how you reacted to dinner with the Henderson’s in November, he could see how it does, and he understands it too in a way. It was easy to feel like your own isolated island. 

You set your glass down after downing it and turned to Steve, “Anyway, my point is, I was alone, you know? And Cassie…well it’s going to happen, she’s going to wonder why her mom left her and it will hurt, but…she’s not going to be alone. She has so much support from Robin, Dustin, Claudia, those abundance of kids who absolutely adore her, she just has so much love , but more importantly…she has a great dad.” 

Steve’s heart swelled in his chest by your words, so much that he felt like he was feeling it in his throat. He swallowed thickly, cheeks becoming flushed. You smiled at him, eyes looking quite foggy from the amount of wine you’ve both consumed.  

“I know I’ve barely got here, but…Steve, you’re such a good guy,” you were saying now, expression turning serious, “I can see why everyone is so obsessed with you here, and it’s not just because of your good looks…that’s just an added bonus. You’re a good guy.” 

He smiled at that, and you sighed softly, turning your body toward Steve and reached with the hand that wasn’t holding your wine glass to gently grasp the back of his head. Steve was a little disoriented by this, but his vision cleared when he saw you were at eye level with him. He grew still, just staring back at you breathlessly.

“Cassie is going to be okay because she has you .” 

It felt like something clicked into place when you uttered those words to Steve. He opened his lips, wanting to say something, but not knowing what. His mind picked up on the music that was playing, the soft, funky beat of the Bee Gees “How Deep is Your Love” flowed through the boombox’s speakers, traveling through the room and reaching Steve. 

He was gazing back at you, the fire illuminating half of your face and intensifying your gaze. It was warm in here now, from the fire, the wine, from you . His breath hitched, feeling that electricity again, except it was stronger, more intense and Steve couldn’t ignore it any longer. 

Then you come to me in a summer breeze…keep me warm in your love, then you softly leave…

“I wish I met you sooner,” he suddenly said, and you gently nipped your bottom lip and said, “Me too.”

Perhaps it was the wine he was drunk off of, or perhaps it was you he’s become drunk off of - it didn’t matter. He parted his lips, gently licking them before his eyes flickered down to your lips. He couldn’t take it anymore, and when he met your gaze again, and saw the tender way you were looking at him, he couldn’t stop himself, not like he could at Thanksgiving, not like he could everytime after that. He wanted to kiss you, he needed to.

He started to lean in slowly, up until his nose gently nudged yours. You did not stop him, in fact, you were guiding him toward you, inviting him to kiss you. He let out a hot breath, realizing that you wanted this too, even though it was silly to think for a moment that you didn’t, and he closed the space in between your lips like you had done in the Wheeler’s kitchen, laying his mouth on yours softly and sweetly. 

Your lips fell together in a tender kiss, and your hand on Steve’s head drew him closer to you. You dropped the empty wine glass you held, landing safely onto the pillows and blankets still gathered around you, and he felt this hand rest on his cheek.

You were warm, so very warm , and his head became dizzy and he too had dropped his wine glass. Except his glass still had wine in it. The glass tipped to the side, its contents spilling and staining one of the pillows and the carpet that peaked out between the pillows it had fallen on. 

Neither of you noticed, and if you did, you wouldn’t have cared anyway. 

His hands were on your waist now, pulling you toward him without parting his lips from yours, and you let him lead you to wherever he wanted you to go. Soon, you were straddling him, your legs sitting on either side of his and you finally pulled away. 

“ Steve ,” you said his name, voice breathless and tainted with wine just like Steve’s was. His hands rested on the expand of your thighs, brown eyes shining as he looked up at you. 

“Is this okay?” he asked you, voice low and an octave lower, “I can stop…we can stop.” 

You moved your hands to his hair, leaning forward to press your forehead against his, being able to see him better than he can see you. The light of the fire behind you now, the only light being from the small candles placed on various parts of your home, but he could feel your face against his, and he could feel you nod .

Like your lips were a magnet, he was kissing you again, combining your breath together as he consumed your lips with his with an intensity that had you falling against him and letting his kiss lure you into a state of mind that was just him . 

He kissed you, and he kept kissing you, tongue sliding between your wet, parted lips and licking into your mouth softly and almost sloppily. His hands started to move on their own accord, one upward toward the small of your back, lifting your shirt ever so slightly.

Your hands had started to wander too, without you realizing it. They were now flat against his chest, feeling the fast beating of his heart against your palm, and the other moved downward, gently grazing his ribs. 

He shuddered against you, eyes flickering open and lips parting from yours. He realized too that his hand had wandered, feeling the heat of your skin against his own hand, and he looked up at you, eyes questioning. You sucked in a soft breath, leaning away from Steve. 

“Sorry,” he said, referring to his hand that was moving up your shirt. You sighed deeply. 

Steve’s eyes had fallen, but when they did they caught the sudden movement of your hands. You were grabbing onto the hem of your shirt, and he snapped his head upward. No words escaped his mouth as he watched you remove your shirt and told him the same thing he told you on New Years… ‘ don’t be.’

“ Fuck ,” Steve said, wishing his eyes would adjust better, and he heard you laugh quietly, as if someone will hear you both, and you grabbed his hands, making them move to your abdomen. 

“Are you okay with this?” you asked him this time, perhaps a little too late, but you weren’t really thinking. 

“How could I not be? You’re so god damn beautiful,” he told you, and you melted into his lap when he did. He chuckled sweetly at you, then leaned up to kiss you again before his hands started to move against you, and he said again, breathlessly, “ God damn …” 

He sounded nervous as he then bit down on his lower lip, feeling your skin tremble underneath his touch. Goosebumps followed where his hands started to move, just over your sides and then upwards until he was touching your breasts. 

You hummed when he did, back arching slightly and he licked his lips, eyes moving from your breasts back up to you. He leaned in, pressing gentle kisses onto the skin of your neck, your collarbone, and lower to the mounds of your breast. 

You threw your head back softly, mouth falling open as the sensation of him kissing you where you were most sensitive. His brown eyes stayed drawn on you, and he drew his lips away to kiss back up your neck and just underneath your chin. 

His hands followed, now on the back of your hair as he brought you forward to crash your lips together in a more fervent kiss, more desperate, and hot. His tongue swirled in your mouth, colliding with yours as he drank you up second by second. 

His arms then were wrapped around you, feeling the slight tremble of your legs and before you knew it, he was leaning away and making you lay down. You fell against the soft blankets beneath you, arms falling over your head and Steve had taken his shirt off as well before he settled on his side next to you. 

His eyes were dark, you could tell that much by the light of the flames, and you reached your hand forward, falling into the temptation to touch his chest that was full of hair. He released a breath through his nose at your touch, smiling as he was amused. It had been a while since he’d been with anyone intimately like this, and when he felt your hand massaging his chest, he remembered how past partners had done the same. It felt sweeter coming from you though, and he placed his hand over yours and leaned in to press a chaste kiss onto your lips before moving your hand away to place a kiss against that to, then place it back over your head. 

He had other ideas, anyway. 

“Is this what you want?” he asked, voice almost a whisper. 

“Is this what you want?” you asked him back, voice a little shaky. He wasn’t ashamed to reply yes , and you stared at him for a long second before nodding, saying yes, me too . 

He smiled softly, eyes drawing over your face and down your body before he brought his hand upward, stopping at your lips. You kissed the fingers there before parting your lips for him, tremors rushing down your body as he pressed his fingers inside of your mouth…

He didn’t ask you again, and neither did you…not when his fingers were buried deep inside of you, making you come undone, not when the rest of your clothes came off, when you kissed each other all over…especially not when you were underneath him, his hips thrusting at a languid, sensual pace, his length pumping in and out of you.

The fire was dying beside you, but you didn’t need it anymore. You and Steve were keeping each other warm. 

You were caged in underneath him, seeing nothing but Steve gazing lovingly at you from above. His chest hair rubbed against your own chest, creating a delicious friction with every thrust of his hips that filled you up. 

Your hand dragged across his back, your nails scratching his shoulder blades, making pleasurable chills run up and down his back. His mouth was hovering just above yours, parted and releasing soft grunts and pants that intertwined with your own. Then, he was leaning down, lips only grazing yours as his tongue touched yours as his hips moved faster. He grunted, moving away as he did so.

Your back arched upwards, breasts pressing against his chest tightly and moaned his name out softly. He looked back down at you, smiling almost lazily. He pressed his lips against your cheek, before resting his head on your forehead, keeping his brown, hazy eyes open and on you. 

You tensed up underneath him, heart thumping out of your chest and lips releasing a cracked moan of his name as pleasurable heat washed over you for the second time that night. Steve kissed you, riding you through it, and whispered sweet nothing against your lips as he too came undone.

✧ ✧ ✧

It was warm when you woke up, your body cocooned in the thick covers you brought in the living room the night before. You were immediately met with an ache that buzzed over your entire body, but it was not unwelcome. It was a reminder of what just happened the night before, of the night you spent with Steve. 

Your eyes fluttered open then, adjusting as you stared up at the ceiling of your living room. Heat encompassed over you at the thought of last night, at the thought of Steve, and you looked next to you, expecting to see him, wanting to see him, but the space next to you was empty. You frowned then, starting to sit up when you heard movement in your kitchen. 

You sat up completely, turning your head and peering into the kitchen, only to see that man you were expecting to see laying in the pile of blankets next to you standing in front of your stove, his hair sticking it various directions and only wearing his boxers and an apron. 

It was a sight that took your breath away, especially when you could make out the marks that were left on his neck by you .

Then, you smelled the killer breakfast he was making. Eggs, bacon…was he making pancakes ? That made your stomach suddenly growl, and as if Steve had heard that, he was turning his head and meeting your eyes. 

“Good morning,” Steve called to you, his lips pulled upward in a sweet smile. A smile was brought to your face, cheeks feeling even warmer as he said, “Hungry?” 

You started to move to stand, tearing your eyes from Steve as you searched for an article of clothing to put on, only for your eyes to land on the stain left on your carpet. 

“Oh…oh damn ,” you said, “When did that happen?” 

Steve placed the bacon he’d just finished cooking onto a plate when he turned to see what you were talking about, and instantly he cringed when he saw you staring at the wine stain. His memory of the night wasn’t that hazy, but he could not recall how the spill even happened. It was a little lighter though, considering he spent a good 20 minutes after waking up trying to clean it. 

“I really tried to clean it,” Steve told you, wiping his hands with a paper towel. 

You could only laugh, turning and looking up at Steve as he came into the living room.

“It must’ve happened…well… yeah ,” you said, purposely not saying when you guys started kissing, and you turned your head to see Steve holding your sweater out to you, a smile on lips, and cheeks dusted pink. 

“ Yeah , I figured,” he said, understanding what you meant. You thanked him quietly as you took the sweater and he turned away, back toward the kitchen as he told you that he hoped you didn’t mind him making a big breakfast like this. 

You put your sweater on, then found your undergarments and placed those on too. The hem of your sweater stopped just below your thighs, and you finally moved to stand as you said, “No, no I don’t mind at all…”

Steve was holding two plates now, flashing you another sweet grin before setting them down on the small dining room table you had in the kitchen. You noticed even coffee was made, steam rising from the mug and as you got closer, you noticed that he had even prepared it the way you did. He must’ve watched you make yours the night before…

You sat down in the chair, right in front of the plate and coffee and when you saw the fluffy pancakes, you sighed with delight, “God, I fucking love pancakes…” You took the syrup from the middle of the table.

Steve laughed at this, taking the seat across from you. He had discarded the apron, choosing to just be shirtless which you mildly appreciated as the pancakes had consumed your hungry self entirely. 

“I remembered you told me that,” he told you as he took the syrup you were holding out for him. You paused as you sliced a part of the pancake with your fork, and glanced at him. He was looking at you, still smiling, and he said, “Go on and taste it. I wasn’t lying when I said I make good pancakes.” 

You did as told, Steve watching you intently for a reaction, and you hummed, and nodded as you chewed. They were the fluffiest, perhaps most perfect pancakes you’ve ever had. Steve had not been lying that day in the grocery store back in Fall, and had you already not been in love with the guy, this would’ve been the dealbreaker. 

“It’s delicious ,” you said finally, but you didn’t need to tell Steve that. He was already smirking smugly as he said, “I know” before taking a bite of his own pancake. 

You ate the rest of your breakfast pretty quickly, as it seemed your previous nightly activity drained all of your energy and finally, as you both washed the dishes, you asked him if the blizzard cleared out. 

“Yes,” he replied, then quickly added, “Streets aren’t clear still…so I think I’m gonna have to stick around for a bit longer.” 

Steve was looking at you a certain way, brown eyes telling you something he didn’t dare want to say out loud. Your heart flipped in your chest, then warmth that would turn into heat flooded you all over. Neither of you had said anything upfront about your night together, like you were avoiding it, but he wanted to stay …and without checking if he was lying about the streets not being cleared yet, you were more than happy to let him stay.

You spent the rest of the morning in your bedroom, tangled into the sheets with Steve. There were no excuses now, as the wine could’ve been blamed for the night prior. The only thing that was making your mind hazy was Steve himself, and the feeling of his hair between your fingertips as your back arched and you moaned his name…

✧ ✧ ✧

Steve was staring at the ceiling of your bedroom, one arm wrapped around you and the other folded and resting underneath his head. He liked this, he liked the way you felt in his arms, your bodies pressed tightly together, legs tangled together underneath your blankets. 

It had been almost 15 minutes since holding you like this, just laying together in silence and he liked that too. 

You shifted in your spot gently, untangling your legs from Steve’s in order to stretch them and he looked down at you as you decided to move away from him completely, saying,  “I’m gonna turn the heater off for a bit.” 

Steve nodded, as you removed yourself from the bed, holding one of your loose sheets around you. He watched you go, heart fluttering in his chest as you flashed him a sweet grin before turning and disappearing into your hallway. 

He sighed, smiling to himself as he moved to sit up and then run his hands through his now slightly greasy hair. There was a mirror on the dresser to his left, so he could see just how messy his face was, but he could also see the fresh marks you left on parts of his neck and chest. Right next to the ones from last night. He even touched them, feeling his stomach flood with heat, wondering if either of you could go another round because after all it had been quite a while and you just made Steve absolutely insatiable that he didn’t even want to leave after breakfast.

You had come back, holding a pile of clothes in your arms. It was the clothes Steve had discarded in the living room the night before and just never put back on. 

“Here,” you said cheekily as you placed them on the bed then went to the dresser. Steve took that moment to reach out and grab you. You gasped softly as he did, and he was grinning widely at you as he pulled you onto his lap. 

“Hi,” Steve told you, hands sprawled out on your bare thighs, gently squeezing the flesh there.

“ Hey ,” you replied breathlessly, moving your hands toward his hair as if it were second nature by now. He sighed through his nose and leaned up to kiss you again, and already, again , you were putty in his lap. You weren’t sure if you were ever going to get enough of Steve Harrington, especially now that you’ve gotten an actual taste of him. 

God, it was so easy to fall in love with him and you weren’t sure you’d ever want to be with anyone but him.

It was that thought that had you pausing, and Steve had felt you suddenly go still against him. He opened his eyes and leaned away to give you a curious look before asking what was wrong. You swallowed thickly, leaning away from him as well, but not leaving his lap. 

“Steve I…what…what is this?” you asked. He blinked gently, and you could see his eyes grow thoughtful before he peered back up at you. He was going to say something, but for some reason you were suddenly scared he was going to say it was a one time thing (thought one time turned into a few times that your sheets were gonna smell like him for a while), so you said, “I’m not expecting anything…we were pretty drunk last night…” 

Steve stared at you, before he licked his lips and said, “We weren’t drunk this morning…” 

The dread in your stomach gently faded at that, and you replied, “I don’t know…those pancakes were so good they did something to me.”

He laughed at that, and his laugh made you laugh as well and he kept his gaze on you the entire time, as if he loved watching you laugh and smile. You pressed your lips together in a smile, and he said, “I don’t…I don’t want it to be a one time thing, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

His expression had grown serious, and his hands that were squeezing the flesh of your thighs turned into gentle rubs, as if he was nervous. 

“ I like you ,” he said, though his voice sounded a little forced, because he didn’t want to use the word ‘like’ because his feelings for you were more than that, though you didn’t know that. You would take what you could though, and force yourself to use the same word as well, even though it was quite clear to you that you were completely in love with him. 

“So…what now then?” you asked softly. 

He sucked in a breath. The truth was, Steve didn’t know, well he did know, but he still wasn’t sure about it because he had suddenly thought of his daughter. The thought of Cassie made Steve frown, and a weird feeling crossed his chest that made him doubt the decision he was about to make. Steve wanted to be with you, but his stupid mind had started to talk him out of it, telling him he wasn’t going to work , you didn’t deserve his flaky nature, or to wait on him when he was too busy for you…he didn’t want to do that to you, just like he had told Robin the first night she came back to Hawkins. 

But then he also thought about the other thing Robin had told him…he’d be crazy if he didn’t at least try .

Alas, it was the thought of Cassie that halted any decision making on Steve’s part, as he realized that he was supposed to pick her up almost an hour ago, which was not helping the case in his mind. He forgot his own damn daughter, not that Delilah’s mother minds, nor does Cassie and Dee herself, but he still felt horrible. 

“Shit, I’m sorry, I have to go, ” Steve told you, failing to realize before he said it that he didn’t answer your question as he gently moved you off of him.

 Your heart had fallen down to your stomach, and Steve caught the expression on your face as he pulled on his boxers, and was grabbing his jeans. It was one of heartbreak, and it tore him inside to see it. It made him pause with his jeans halfway on, and he opened his mouth but nothing came out as he felt ridiculous with his jeans only up to his knees, so he pulled it on and buttoned it before walking toward you. 

“No! No, that- that wasn’t my answer,” he told you, fear in his voice that he messed up. 

“Steve, it’s okay-” you tried to say, but he reached over to gently touch your cheek and kiss you without really thinking. You went still as his lips pressed gently against yours, and he leaned with a soft sigh. 

“I’m late to pick Cassie up, that’s all,” he assured, his hand still on your suddenly very hot cheek, “I just…I want to talk again, okay?” 

“Okay,” you said, because you were at a loss of words of what his sudden kiss meant and didn’t know what else to say. Steve seemed content with that and nodded, before he gently swiped his thumb under your eye and told you earnestly, “I’ll call you.” 

Now you could only nod, and he returned that nod before grabbing his shirt and putting it on. You could only sit on the bed, the sheet still the only thing covering your bare body, and you watched him quickly put his shirt on, inside out but you doubt he cared as his concern was forgetting to pick his daughter up. 

He did spare you one last glance and small good-bye though before he was rushing out of your room and down the hall, where you could hear him cursing as he put his shoes on before you heard him open the door to your garage. 

When you could no longer hear him in your house, you suddenly felt very cold without him there, and you hugged the sheet around you tighter, already missing him and the warmth he always brought you. 

And you waited for that call, standing idly by the phone whenever you were home, keeping your stereo off even as you eventually scrubbed away at the wine stain on your carpet that would just not come out. When you folded all the blankets, washed the wine glasses, and tossed the empty one in the trash. It was pushed to the back of your mind for about an hour, when you called a towing company to get your car from Starcourt, and take it to the mechanic in Downtown Hawkins. When you got home though, it was night time, and you waited.

You waited for it, even the following day, and the day after that…you would even find yourself gazing at the door, wondering if he was going to walk through those doors, apologizing for not calling because he’d rather see you instead. 

But he didn’t. Steve was never the one to walk through the office doors in the days following the night and morning you spent together, was never the one on the other side of the line if your phone did happen to ring. You told yourself that you weren’t hurt, trying to convince yourself that when you said you weren’t expecting anything you were telling the truth. 

You fell in love with Steve Harrington, and then…well, you were sure that if he didn’t call or make the effort to see and speak to you even after everything he told you before he left your house in such a rush to pick Cassie up…then it must be his way of saying that nothing, nothing was to come from what happened between the two of you. 

He was busy, you knew that, he told you relationships weren’t his forte from the beginning, everyone did, and yet, he was so easy to like, even easier to fall in love with that you didn’t stand a chance. Still, your heart couldn’t try and rationalize his actions like your brain, and you were completely and utterly heartbroken. 

And then, you wondered just what the hell was Steve freaking Harrington’s reason for all this.

[koumeowkami]

☆ paradox live as stray kids songs!

i've always thought that stray kids had some sort of paralive style attached to them, considering all the genres they've covered over the years. so since me and @paixarina have been talking a lot about it lately here's one of my good bad old music analysis posts :D you can take these as recommendations! stan paralive, stan skz <3

— BAE ; MIROH

honorable mentions: give me your tmi, boxer, super board

bae's style has always been very edm oriented, with a hint of pop. especially songs like we are the future and bermuda triangle are very hard-hitting and energetic, so i couldn't help but think about miroh.

— THE CAT'S WHISKERS ; MUDDY WATER

honorable mentions: scene stealers (3racha)

tcw's unique jazz style made me immediately think of muddy water. this old-style, shallow sound perfectly fits with them! even the rap style is similar to tcw's, imo.

— COZMEZ ; EASY

honorable mentions: double knot, zone (3racha), 19

i'm pretty sure stray kids fits cozmez the most in general. i thought of so many songs that reminded me of them, i can't mention them all lmao. young, angsty vibes, expressed through raging trap music? that's peak cozmez style!

— AKAN YATSURA ; TA

honorable mentions: thunderous

do you want akyr's festival-ish sound, mixed with traditional sound? ta is the answer! it reminds me of wanted vibes a lot. i think skz's boisterous but cheerful music fits them the most.

— VISTY ; GET COOL

honorable mentions: haven

i admit it was hard to pick a more cutesy song that could remind me of visty 😭 but in the end i settled on probably the cutest and poppiest song skz has ever made. it encompasses visty's refreshing sound well :P

— AMPRULE ; WOLFGANG

we got it! at least one song! wolfgang has that dramatic and goth-ish vibe that defines amprule as well. the violins on the dark instrumental are soooo amprule coded.

— 1NM8 ; 3RD EYE

honorable mentions: silent cry

1nm8's experimental sound is so hard to find anywhere else tbh. skz are also pretty experimental themselves and i decided including some of their "weirdest" songs in this section... they give me the same ethereal feeling of 1nm8.

— GOKU LUCK ; BEWARE

honorable mentions: battle ground

do you want some good old rage? early skz was so edgy, even beware's title is so perfectly in sync with goku luck's concept (i mean... they're criminals. makes sense). battle ground isn't an old song but!! they went back to their old rock-ish sound and it just reminds of goku luck SO MUCH!!

— BURAIKAN ; TOPLINE (FEAT. TIGER JK)

honorable mentions: hall of fame

idk man, this is the music vips would make?? like, you just feel how powerful they are?? buraikan's music just gives me that exact vibe as well :D

[zerooup]

Hi can you do Little!Lyney?

Of course! LITTLE LYNEY <3 This one's pretty angsty; beware!! Cw: Diapers, Accidents, Suicide, Panic attacks, striving for an unachievable perfection.

Lyney is a perfectionist, nothing short of one, but while regressed, he doesn't falter. His outfits have to be coordinated beforehand otherwise that can lead him to have a meltdown or possibly even worse, he'll shove himself out so that he can change into the outfit, and then he'll refuse to re-regress. ~

Lyney has attempted to end his life canonically. After that, you better believe Freminet and Lynette pampered this little angel into baby space. He's never been that tiny, but after what had happened, he pretty much is never older than a year. ~

He had a panic attack onstage, which triggered his regression; but he had to force himself through not only the panic attack but his regression as well. ~

His perfection is a show that goes 100% seamlessly, with a great crowd. Yet he strives for more, Looking for ways to make his magic better, often finding his limits, pushing the limit until he's physically too tired to attempt to be a human. ~

Now for some fluffy stuff!

Lyney is the tiniest baby after the trial, like. Can barely stand, let alone walk on his own. ~

He's VERY prone to accidents while regressed, he'll often just wear diapers after a show, just in case he drops. Better safe than sorry. ~

He will cuddle with Lynette or Freminet until he falls asleep. ~

The second a show finishes is a timer to get Lyney in a diaper and on Lynette's back for his nap. Depending on how the show went, this can be anywhere from 3 minutes to a couple hours. ~

Can go from sobbing to the giggliest baby within seconds, Just have to let him be sometimes!

[stealingyourbones]

I fuckin LOVE ninjago holy shit I used to have a ‘crush’ (I’m aroace so it wasn’t an actual crush and tbh I still don’t know what it was to this day) on Zane as a child. Ninjago movie is decently funny and animated pretty well but there’s so much fucking character murder so beware if you haven’t watched it already. Anyways the ninja could totally fucking murder the joker.

1st of all, I too absolutely love zane hes wonderful

2nd, as someone coming from comics everything where u simply gotta embrace different versions of characters depending on the current Comic Writer and their whimsy, i view the ninjago movie as just a different interpretation of the characters and said Interpretation was wonderfully executed. Lloyd’s voice cast and writing is WONDERFUL as an angsty teen whos so self centered on his issues… it’s just great. Garmadon is fun in that movie and has not as much depth as the tv show but there IS depth and it’s well executed, and the designs are LOVELY! I adore the mech designs SO MUCH they’re so cool!!!

Also they 100% would murder the Joker but their age rating would only let them send him into another dimension where he couldn’t bother anyone ever again. None the less they would rock his shit within seconds

[anxious-witch]

Inertia 3

Summary: Newton's first law expresses the principle of inertia: the natural behavior of a body is to move in a straight line at constant speed. In the absence of outside influences, a body's motion preserves the status quo.

Jan choose a direction of his life the moment he walked out of his parents house and cut all contact with them. He didn't want anything to do with them, or God anymore. Even his soulmark he wished he could leave behind. But when Nace Jordan joins the band, with a mark matching his own, can Jan keep going the same way he did? Or will the force make him change a direction?

Pairings: Jan Peteh/Nace Jordan

Warnings: Mentions of pretty severe insomnia, very heavy religious trauma, a character kind of having God complex during sex, smut, slight mentions of hallucinations caused by sleep deprivation, vomiting

Notes:

AO3 Link

I am still reeling from the last night's concert so y'all get an update a bit early. Beware that there is smut in this chapter, although not very detailed, but just to give heads up. Also check warnings in the end notes if religion is a sensitive topic. Anddd I'll have to add vomiting as a tag if anyone is sensitive to that. This one is pretty angsty

The corruption begins with the mouth, the tongue, the wanting.

The first poem in the world

is I want to eat.

Erica Jong, from "Where It Begins," Fruits & Vegetables: Poems By Erica Jong (Holt, 1971)

Jan tried to heed Kris' advice. He was polite to Nace, and made sure there was always, always another person there. He stopped himself from staring at him and avoided eye contact altogether.

Nace, for his part, didn't seem to push once he saw Jan was always keeping a barrier between them. Instead, he seemed to befriend everyone else.

Literally everyone else.

It started with Bojan. He was the easiest target, after all. Always so friendly and trusting. Nace paid attention to when Bojan felt insecure and anxious and simply did his best to encourage him. Or distract him. Jan could still taste his own bitterness at the prospect. They all did that for Bojan, of course, but it was primarily something Martin used to do. Who was Nace to try and replace him, not only as a bassist, but to try and fill out his spot in their friend group?

Bojan didn’t seem to mind it, though. He seemed thankful, if anything so Jan kept his mouth shut. Bojan tended to befriend everyone, anyway. Not that big of a deal.

Next was Jure.

Jan didn’t expect them to get along. Jure could be unpredictable, with ideas so chaotic even Jan would be horrified at. It often caused Kris headaches with multiples injuries Jure came to practice with. He really thought there was no chance of Nace being able to handle that. Jure couldn’t be stopped in his ideas, once he had them.

Except, Nace didn’t even try to do that. He simply let Jure have his crazy ideas, and simply helped him pick up the pieces. He was there to patch him up or offer to drive him home. He built Jure’s trust in him and as the rest of them, slowly uncovered a tamer side of him. When Jan saw Jure fall asleep on Nace’s shoulder after one practice, he knew Nace won him over.

Kris was the last one to fall under Nace’s spell. It took a bit more time than with the others. Kris was more reserved sort. That was part of the reason he and Jan got along so well. They both like to analyzed the situation and the person before making any decisions.

But Nace knew what he was doing. He knew it very well. He made sure to memorize their schedule and help Kris manage them when needed. Kris got stressed easily over it, especially when one was late-and truth to be told, Jan was aware that was usually him-so when he did, Nace gently took over to make a new schedule. Which Kris was certainly always grateful for.

The true turning point though, was after a long day of practice, where their producer ripped their new piece apart. It was necessary and they were all grateful, but it took a tool. Bojan was anxious over not writing a good enough song, Jure was crashing hard due to his lack of sugar, and Kris was out of his mind over how fixing everything will impact their schedule and if they had enough time for everything.

Jan was doing his best to walk Bojan through the breathing exercise that helped him with his anxiety. He tried not to fall under the stress like the rest of them did. If Bojan had a breakdown, they were all fucked. The rest, they could deal with.

Then Nace appeared. He gave Jure a chocolate bar, nodded at Bojan and Jan and told Bojan he would drive him home. The he handed Kris his correct coffee order and said they can go over schedule together tomorrow. Jan had never seen a look of such pure relief on Kris’ face as he did then. Nace gently smiled at him, and Kris smiled back.

In that moment, Jan knew for certain that he lost, once again. Nace gained Kris’ trust. Which left him alone in his suspicion. And he was more suspicious than ever. Why was Nace trying so hard to be liked? It was ridiculous notion. He had to have a reason for it. No one was that nice.

Jan refused to give in.

It all came to a head in late November. Streets were cold, Jan could see his breath as he walked to the studio. For Joker Out, there was no time busier than now.

They were in a competition to be Slovenian's Eurovision entry and the 8th of December was growing closer. They were under a lot of pressure. Especially Bojan.

But as the date grew closer, the rest of them began to feel it, too. Jan's terrible sleeping habits certainly got worse.

Having insomnia sucked enough under normal circumstances, but having it under stress, which caused headaches which made him unable to fall asleep even more. It drove him insane.

Others tried to help him. Kris bought all sorts of calming teas, Jure researched ways to help him sleep and installed an app with calming sounds on his phone. Bojan even went as far as to learn some scalp massage, which felt nice, but only helped him with an one hour nap.

Still, none of it solved an actual problem of Jan feeling like the nervous energy was cursing through him like electricity. Worse yet, not sleeping more than two or three hours a night started to affect him.

His brain felt fuzzy and slow. Like was trying to stretch out a gum. Even his movements were slower. It made him more irritable, too.

When Bojan put his legs in his lap and began talking mile an hour, Jan felt his temper rise. It wasn’t something he usually minded, but with how hard it was to concentrate on anything today, Bojan’s pointless chattering got on his nerves quickly.

“And then Jure jumped over the stream and almost fell in. I was laughing so hard I almost fell in the stream and-“

“Bojan, just be fucking quiet for once.”

There was a stunned silence after Jan snapped at him. Bojan bit his lip and slowly pulled his legs from Jan’s lap. Jan massaged his temples.

“Sorry,” Bojan mumbled before leaving.

Jan felt more than he saw Kris glaring at him before he went after Bojan, probably to comfort him. Jan really couldn’t bring himself to care. His head was pounding and all he wanted was to be able to fall asleep. He could apologize and make amends once he felt like a human being again.

They continued the practice soon after. Unfortunately, the lack of sleep also made Jan more prone to mistakes. Which in turn irritated him more. In the end, Bojan ended the practice early, which was rare these days, due to busy schedule.

"Okay, let's stop here for the day. Jan, please try to get some sleep. We really need to perfect this bit by the end of the week."

Jan cursed and hastily put his guitar down before storming to the bathroom. He cupped his hands and poured water over them. Then took a deep breath and simply shoved his face in the ice-cold water.

He completely let himself feel the cold water on his burning face. He held his breath underwater for as long as he could stand and then opened his mouth to let out a silent scream into the water. Stupid insomnia. Stupid, useless body unable to even give him proper amount of sleep.

He waited for long enough to assume the others probably left. Gave them a chance to escape. It was clear he wasn’t in a good mood and as much as they were aware of how he got when he had insomnia…it was always an unpleasant surprise when he got this bad.

It was best to stay away from him in those moments.

Unfortunately, when he came back to properly put his guitar and equipment away, Nace was there. Jan really, really wasn't in the mood to be polite.

"What the fuck are you still doing here?"

To Nace's credit, he barely flinched at his harsh tone. He eyed him carefully and held up his hands.

"You seemed unwell, I...I just wanted to see if I can help in any way. You probably shouldn't drive."

Jan's laugh was sharp and humorless. Help in any way? He could have helped by fucking leaving.

"No. You can't help. And fuck you, I can drive."

He tried to push past him, but Nace grabbed his shoulder. Jan felt a tingle go up his spine, so he did the only thing he could think of in that moment.

He pushed back, hard enough to fully pin Nace against the wall. Their faces were few inches away. Jan could see emotions flashing over Nace's face. Surprise, shock, fear, anger. Then finally settling on a calm, patient mask he always wore.

Jan seethed.

"What the fuck," he hissed, "do you think you are doing?"

Nace calmly met his gaze. Something about his perfect calm made Jan want to punch him. Rip him apart until he got something than that perfect niceness and calmness.

"I told you. I want to help you. Let me help you.”

Jan didn't have enough brain power to unpack that statement. Why would he want to help him at all, after the past several weeks? What even made him think Jan wanted him to help?

Nace’s eyes briefly flickered from his eyes to his lips and then back. Finally, things clicked for Jan. Nace wasn’t trying to help him. He wanted to fuck him.

He stared at Nace blankly for a second, considering his options. In truth, he didn't want to go home in another futile attempt to sleep.

And as much as knew this was a bad idea...he didn't see a good enough reason to resist. Nace wasn't going to find out about the soulmark and Jan wasn't going to give him any fake hopes this would be anything but a one night stand.

He stepped forward and grabbed Nace by his lapels, pinning him hard to the wall. Nace's lips began to form a question, but Jan kissed him before he could utter it.

He kissed him hard enough to bruise. Enough to hurt. And yet Nace groaned into his mouth and kissed him back. That dispelled any worries Jan might have had about reading the situation wrong.

Nace gripped Jan's shoulders and pulled him closer. The kiss was electric. Jan kept kissing him like he was trying to devour him.

His anger and aggression shifted and changed into lust so quickly, like a predator sinking it’s teeth into the prey. This was one time he'd allow himself to have this. The closest he'd ever allow himself to feel that soulmate pull, so he might as well make the most of it.

Nace opened so nicely for him. Let him rearrange him as he pleased, only slightly pushing away to catch his breath.

His pupils were blown wide, almost swallowing the brown of his irises. Jan began kissing down his jaw, to his neck and Nace shivered.

"Jan-wait, what are we do-"

"Fucking, preferably. Unless you changed your mind?"

He briefly pulled back, watching Nace's reaction carefully. Despite his manhandling, there was a line he wouldn't cross. Nace shook his head.

"No. No, I didn't change my mind but maybe we could just, um. Move this somewhere else?"

He supposed that was a good point. They didn't have a couch in the studio for no reason. He tugged Nace to it wordlessly, and tried not to trip over all the cables that were all over the floor.

Jan wasn't sure how they both manage to fit on the couch, more or less horizontally. All he knew was that he found himself on top of Nace, with his hands underneath the older’s shirt and his knee in between Nace’s legs. When he tried to pullhis shirt off, though, Nace grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“No?”

“No,” Nace said and pulled him down for another kiss. Which was an end to that conversation.

Jan wasn’t deterred, though. He stroked Nace’s chest by pulling his hands underneath his shirt. The way Nace moaned his name at that made something hot and possessive curl around Jan's chest. He traced his lips and teeth down his throat, wanting to hear him make that sound over and over again.

His hand slipped under Nace's waistband and the groan Nace made when he touched him echoed through Jan. Fuck, he was so hot. The older man practically trembled under his touch and Jan felt powerful.

Powerful like a God. What was a soulmate pull in comparison to the power he held over Nace now? He was unaware of it and yet he went with this so willingly. Despite all of Jan’s rudeness and hostility, Nace still wanted him, still gave in like this to him.

Jan felt drunk with power, with knowledge of this. He bit at the junction between Nace’s neck and shoulder. Nace’s entire body shuddered.

“Fuck, Jan, please…”

As much as Jan wanted to take him apart and do much more than this, he wasn't exactly carrying condoms and lube in his pockets. Perhaps they should make merch condoms for these situations.

Which left him with limited options. But judging by Nace expression, it wouldn't take much to take him over the edge.

"Look at me," Jan said.

His voice came out much rougher than he expected. Nace immediately opened his eyes and Jan felt like he was soaring through the depths in his eyes. Like a God, deciding mortal’s fate. He sped up movements of his hand and that pulled another broken moan from the man under him. Jan didn’t look away for a moment and soon Nace’s expression scrunched up in pleasure and he came, going boneless in Jan’s grasp.

Jan took the opportunity to just stare at him for a few moments longer while he was still allowed. The way Nace's face was both flustered and relaxed. His lips were bruised and Jan wondered if his own were just as bad.

He did not think about any words like beautiful, or holy. That would give him way too much power.

He reached for the napkins to wipe off his hand and Nace, as much as he could. Nace choose that moment to come down from his high. He stared back at Jan and there was an odd sort of tension between them. Jan should probably say something, but before he could, Nace got an oddly determined look to his eyes. He reached out to grasp Jan’s waist and flipped them over.

It was Jan's turn to be blindsided. He knew Nace was strong in theory, but in practice, it was terrifying to be manhandled like that. He immediately pushed back, but to no avail.

"What are you-"

"You didn't come. So I am fixing that."

Jan wanted to protest and say it was alright, but Nace kissed him before he could. He stroked Jan over his pants and-fuck, okay maybe he shouldn't have concentrated solely on Nace. Because now, he was left with Nace's full attention on him.

The sense of power got flipped, too and Jan found himself powerless all of a sudden. Nace held the power that was his only moments ago and Jan wasn’t sure how to regain it.

He couldn't quite hold back a moan when Nace pulls his pants and underwear down and began stroking him. All Jan could do was pull away from the kiss and bite his lip so hard he tasted blood. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he affected him.

This was why he preferred picking up people he didn't know for one night stands and fucking them in a way that they'd barely get to touch him.

He hated this. He hated the way Nace gently kissed his neck and touched him in a way Jan had no control over.

Not that it didn't feel good, but Jan felt his thoughts spiraling. Every sound that got ripped out of him spoke of vulnerability he didn't want to give anyone, let alone Nace. In that moment he hated him more than he hated anyone. For taking away his power once again. For expecting Jan to like it.

He was so tangled in his conflicting thoughts pleasure caught up with him unexpectedly and he finally came with a gasp, burying his face in the couch cushion. He did his best to get his breathing under control and to fight against how his body felt like lead all of a sudden.

For once, he thought he was winning, but of course Nace had to go and take that too. He just kept taking and taking until there was nothing left that was only Jan’s. Not music, not his friends, not even control.

Nace took the napkin to clean him up, but Jan snatched it from him and did it himself. He wouldn’t give him a second more of his vulnerability. Jan hated him so fiercely he wanted to hit him in that moment. Instead, he began putting his clothes back on.

He grabbed his shirt at the same time Nace grabbed his elbow. Jan turned to give him his best glare. Nace, for all his shyness, didn't drop his gaze.

"Seriously? We just had sex and-"

"It's just sex, Jordan, calm down. And it won't happen again, I can promise you that."

Nace's face fell. Jan simply stared at him coldly. He felt no sympathy, no anything. He wouldn’t let him win this, too. He deserved to feel used.

He put his shirt on and only when he began lacing up his boots did Nace speak again.

"I hope you feel better now, at least.”

His tone was cutting, completely different to his usual tone. Jan did his best not to flinch. He did not look back at him as he answer.

“Yeah. It was fine. Whatever.”

Then he turned and left. He got all the way to the car and then simply sat inside, staring at nothing. He felt nothing. He forced himself to start the engine and drive home before his thoughts could catch up to him.

He made it to his apartment, but as soon as he closed the door behind him, he slid down to the floor. His mark burned. And he felt like his chest was caving in all of a sudden. Like he couldn't breathe in enough air.

It didn’t make any sense. Why was this happening? He hated him. So why was he feeling like this.

Didn’t I tell you could never feel complete without your soulmate? His father’s voice mocked, You will never be free.

Jan barely made it to the bathroom before he threw up. His ears were ringing, and he could swear he heard church bells in the distance. Was it a hallucination or did he never notice he could hear them from his apartment before?

He unconsciously reached for the necklace and only grasped air. It took him a moment to realize his mistake. He hadn’t been wearing a cross for years now. Why would he?

Was this what it felt like to be cursed? Perhaps it wasn’t Kris who was cursed but him. Was it for rejecting his soulmate or for not rejecting him? Tears of frustration built and then spilled down his cheeks.

He felt lost. Stranded. Like he was left in complete darkness with no light to guide him.

He heard a distant meow, and Igor came trotting to the bathroom. He brushed against Jan’s leg and Jan shakily scratched behind his ear. Igor looked at him for a moment before curling next to him. His small, warm body gave him a bit of comfort.

Enough to drag him out of utter despair.

There was no God that he believed in that could help him. But one thing Jan still had was a brother. He reached for his phone and press call.

“Hello?”

His brother’s voice sounded hesitant. They were in contact, but they still didn’t talk often. They certainly didn’t do random phone calls unless it was an emergency. Jan supposed this technically way one.

“Matej. I need your help. Do you remember how you told me about your friend who got rid of her soulmark and how it essentially broke the connection she had with her ex?”

There was a deep breath on the other side of the line. A pause, and then-

“Yes. But you do know you can only use that as a last resort.”

“I do. And I need you to tell me where she got it done.”

Another pause.

“I’ll ask her. But Jan…please think this through. You can’t undo this once it’s done.”

He couldn’t undo walking out of his parents’ house and choosing a life for himself. He won’t let Nace Jordan ruin it for him.

“I know. Text me when you have the contact.”

He hung up before Matej could say anything else. Could try to reason with him. Jan made a decision. His soulmark burned and he felt worse than he did in years.

It was all Nace’s fault. Jan would not let him ruin his life on account of destiny, or God or whatever it was that tied them together.

So Jan would end it before it even began.