#these damn immortals and their idea of fun

[genevawren38]

I could headcanon this though.

Cause in lore a robot [Created body & transferred consciousness?] and an immortal totem decide a nuclear creeper that has a gigantic explosion is the perfect prank for the old crow whose a hermit but also surrounded by people.

The crow then blames the demon who is known for arguing with the shark totem no matter the era because they exist to spite each other affectionately and with sharp objects.

These immortal motherfuckers and their idea of a prank is twisted lmao

[gutsby]

Homemade

Pairing: dbf!Joel x Reader

Summary: While your dad’s watching a movie downstairs, you and his best friend decide to make one of your own.

Warnings: 18+. Sneaky sex tape fun with dbf!Joel ;-) Unprotected p-in-v. Age gap. Daddy kink. Facefucking. Joel being the world’s worst cameraman. Shower sex. Overstimulation via adjustable shower head. Dirty talk. Screaming ‘daddy’ too loud, and your father shows up.

Translations: In Chile, pico is slang for penis. Joel’s is big.

Part of the Waiting Game series

“If this ever ends up on PornHub, I’ll kill you, Miller.”

Joel knew you meant it, too.

The only reason you’d agreed to make this dumb little ‘home video’ at all was because you were headed back to college tomorrow and wouldn’t see him again until May. Doing long distance was tough, but doing long distance while simultaneously trying to keep a risqué, torrid, and totally-not-age-appropriate love affair with your father’s best friend under wraps was infinitely more difficult. This was the safest way to keep desire alive in the meantime.

Immortalized on a Sony CCD-TR70—because neither one of you trusted iCloud to keep a sex tape secret.

It had also been the only video camera you could find in the closet before your dad had plopped down on the couch just outside your room and announced he would be watching Oppenheimer for the third time. You’d had to scurry off fast before he could invite you to join him.

“I’ll be damned—this thing’s gotta be as old as I am,” Joel mused as he stood at the foot of the bed, camcorder pointed at your semi-nude form.

“I didn’t know they had cameras back in the Stone Age.”

Your smirk didn't flinch, even when Joel flipped you off.

You were lying on your side, head propped up on one hand while the other picked at a few loose strings from the comforter. The lacy, pastel pink bustier holding your tits in place was currently making breathing feel like a chore, and your skin was on fire from the warmth of the room, but you tried not to show it. Joel twisted a dial.

“Alright, now...flash ‘em for daddy,” he grinned as soon as the lens focused in where he wanted: your cleavage.

You rolled your eyes.

“A little closer, please,” you said, patting the space in front of you.

Joel didn’t need to be told twice. With one hand still cradling the camera, he clambered over the bed so fast he nearly tripped and took a nosedive in the headboard. You had to cover your mouth to contain a shriek of laughter—and terror—as his frame barreled into yours.

“JOEL!”

Fortunately, your cameraman was quick to recollect himself, planting a knee on either side of your chest once he’d knocked you onto your back. Then, from above, he angled the grey-black hunk of metal just a foot away:

“Anything you’d like to say to the folks watching at home, ma’am?” Joel inquired, suddenly assuming all the poise and matter-of-fact elocution of a news reporter.

You stuck your tongue out at the camera and blew the wettest, fattest raspberry you could muster in response.

Joel hummed, zoomed in on your lips, and nodded.

“Fascinating,” he said, pretending to make sense of the fart noise you’d just made with your mouth, “Have you ever given thought to maybe...sucking cock on camera?”

The swiftness with which he was able to dodge your kick was remarkable. He swayed the camera just out of reach before you could shove it away and say, ‘Joel, quit being GROSS’ and he promptly replied, ‘Ain’t that the whole point of a sex tape, sweet pea? Bein’ a little bit gross?’ And you playfully tried to kick him again, only this time, he caught your foot and yanked you closer to him. He turned the camcorder back to your face and grinned.

“That’s my little pornstar,” he murmured with affection. Then, zooming in again, this time to find your panty line, “Riiiiight there.”

You knew giving Joel Miller recording privileges for an occasion as momentous as this was a bad idea. At the rate you were going now, you’d be seeing the sunrise through the window before you ever got a glimpse of his dick. You needed to take matters into your own hands.

Literally.

You crawled on all fours to get to Joel across the bed.

The man, kneeling with the camera pointed in your direction, looked up to cock a brow at you.

“Sweetheart, hey, can ya do that one more—”

“Hush,” you muttered, closing in on his crotch. 

Your head was lowered so you could undo the front of his jeans. Because of this, your back was arched, and your ass was pointed up just the slightest bit. For a second, Joel seemed torn between tilting the lens to your lower half or your face, which was inching ever closer to the bulge in his trousers. In time, he landed on the latter.

He swallowed. That sight never got old—and seeing it displayed on the camcorder’s semi-grainy screen only made it that much hotter. Joel shifted on his knees while you worked him out of his boxers, watching the nimble movements of your fingers as you wrestled the fabric.

“Wanna—” Glancing to the side of the bed, “—maybe—”

“Yup.”

Both of you liked it better on the floor: you on your knees in front of Joel, chin tilted up to see his reactions as you sucked him off. You loved to sink between his legs and then see and feel nothing but him, brain going blank the moment his cock filled your mouth. Joel slid a pillow under your knees before widening his stance some.

“Is it on?” Your hand was wrapped firmly around the base of his cock and your lips were hovering an inch from the tip. You resisted the urge to lick the precum off just yet.

“Darlin’, it’s been on ever since you stepped outta the bathroom in that— that—” Joel seemed to be searching for a word when the head of his cock was enveloped in a kiss. You dragged your tongue across the slit of him and collected the hot, salty beads with a muffled moan.

Then you pulled off.

“Teddy,” you said, reminding him of the name for that pretty little tulle and lace getup you currently had on.

“Teddy,” Joel echoed, his mind a million miles away from any lingerie jargon at the moment. He held the camera tighter as you took him back into your mouth and sank deeper on his cock. He struggled to keep it steady.

It was strange, watching Joel and the rounded glass of the lens as you did this dirty thing that was only meant to be shared between you and him. Knowing it would be recorded, saved for future viewing, displayed on some dimly lit screen in Joel’s bedroom maybe one, twice, or more likely than not, several dozen times over the next three months. You wondered how you might look from this new point of view; though, you weren’t so sure you needed to know what sight Joel was made privy to while you sucked and hollowed your cheeks around his cock.

As it turned out, that uncertainty wasn’t meant to last you very long, because Joel flipped the camera’s screen around two seconds later. Some sepia-tinted, pixelated rendition of your face, framed by the date and time and a bright red flashing dot beside the word ‘REC’ were the first to greet you. You flinched back just a little.

“Joel,” you said, almost bashful, “Flip it back.”

Joel just grinned. Then he laced his fingers through your hair and tugged you closer to him, thumb stroking over your scalp, “C’mon, darlin’, don’t ya wanna see how goddamn pretty ya look on your knees for me?”

You didn’t think you looked pretty at all. In fact, you reckoned your features looked something more like an alien utility funnel than a real, human face as you tilted your chin inward and seemed to be nothing but eyes and a hollowed-out expression, but you let Joel guide you back onto him all the same. You heard a low rumble of pleasure take shape in his chest as your lips slid over his shaft. Your gaze remained glued to the screen as you did.

Wet with saliva and a few faint traces of precum, you continued to bob your head up and down. Joel’s groans grew louder, and your drive to take him further and further surged as well. By the time his hand was tightening into a white-knuckled fist in your hair, you’d nearly taken him all the way to the back of your throat, and your nose was no more than an inch from the soft tufts of hair on his belly. Joel let out a shuttering breath.

“Fuck me,” he heaved. You might’ve smiled if your lips weren’t otherwise occupied. Then he clenched his hand even harder and murmured, “Can you— can I, please—”

Again, you didn’t need him to finish the rest of the question to know what he wanted. You moved your head back just slightly to nod, a low, ‘Mhmm’ reverberating down the length of his dick as you gave him permission. Joel swallowed and set the camera aside immediately.

He placed it on the nightstand, perfectly level with your head, to the side. Then he rotated the device just a bit, took one glance at the screen, and shortly returned to where you were watching him with wide, glossy eyes.

“Ready?” he asked. His right hand now joined the left at the back of your head, but not before thumbing a quick touch over your cheek to get a feel for your approval.

You hummed once more. You watched Joel’s hips move forward, hands secure around your scalp all the while, and you felt a gentle nudge at the back of your throat. Then another. You couldn’t help the impulse to gag, but thankfully, it was short-lived. Joel peered down at you, eyes searching yours for any plea to stop or slow down, but he found nothing. He sheathed himself deeper until your lips were brushing the base of his dick. He groaned.

“That’s a good…fuckin’ girl,” he managed, voice strained, “Takin’ my cock so deep.”

He shifted his hips to move an inch or two out, then slid his cock forward again, bumping that spot at the top of your throat. This time, you were better adjusted to take him and felt your muscles expand and contract around him without activating your gag reflex. Your eyes stayed trained on his face while he dragged his cock back again.

“My pretty girl and her—” Joel stabbed back into you, somehow tender in the way he did it, “—pretty fuckin’ mouth…Sweet thing likes gettin’ facefucked, does she?”

With the increased pace of his thrusts and the grip he had on the sides of your head, you couldn’t quite answer, but Joel could tell from the glint in your eye that you loved when he manhandled and fucked your throat like this. Watched the light sear gently behind those irises as you swallowed every inch of his cock, back and forth, and let your brain break down to little more than a happy, mindless mush. Joel was always keen to oblige you on that front—aroused to no end at the sight of all your thoughts being fucked straight out of your head—and within the next few thrusts, his gut was giving a familiar clench. He pulled halfway out of your mouth, paused, felt the pinch again, then withdrew from your lips fully.

“Get on the bed.”

You straightened back up and made it over to the mattress, quickly. Before you could assume the position you’d been hoping to take on all fours, you felt yourself flipped on your back. Joel yanked your hips to the edge of the bed and kneeled down between your legs. Hooked his fingers under the waistband of your panties and had them shuffled down your thighs and past your ankles in no time at all. Then, when he lowered his lips to your wet, aching core, you pressed a touch to the crown of his head.

“Joel, wait,” you said. All of a sudden your chest felt tight.

In spite of the fact that your airways were open and completely free from any obstruction—namely, Joel’s big ol’ pico—you still found it difficult to inhale. Some murky, amorphous sense of anxiety weighed over your chest.

When your hand didn’t move from his head and instead pushed him further, Joel furrowed his brows, perplexed.

“What’s’a matter, darlin’?”

You shook your head, more to yourself than to him.

“I haven’t…just— haven’t washed down there today…o-or shaved,” you stammered, “Don’t want you to taste it.”

That was largely a lie. You’d bathed, shaved, and prepared for this just fine, but really were more concerned about the novel optics that loomed overhead. Being filmed in such a singularly vulnerable state without knowing how to act. You were fine when the attention was focused on Joel and his pleasure, but something about having your every whimper and moan laid bare before you on film felt daunting. Unnerving, in a way.

Joel frowned while rubbing your thigh. His brow pinched inward again, as if he were considering something.

Then he moved across your body, and your muscles eased with relief at the thought that he’d just let it go and get to fucking you exactly how you wanted. You reached for him, ready to wrap your legs around his waist, when a yelp clawed out of your throat. You found that you didn’t get to touch his chest, or his cheeks, or his big, broad, beefy shoulders, as you were promptly thrown over the latter of the three body parts and lifted when Joel stood up from the bed. He started carrying you across the room, heedless of the startled, ‘What the FUCK, Miller?’ you’d cried the second he took one step.

Hardwood floors transformed to tile before your eyes, and shortly, you realized you were being brought into your bathroom.

You heard the squeak of some metal knob being turned, then a brief sputter, then a spray of water raining down on your shower floor. You were still being held hostage over Joel’s shoulder, try as you might to bite at his lower back or smack his ass in an attempt to break loose.

He set you down a second later, seemingly unfazed.

“Get in.” He nodded toward the shower.

Before you had a chance to respond, he left. You stood back in disbelief—refusing to go into the shower and let Joel have his win—but just as you opened your mouth to call out and tell him as much, his form slipped back in through the door. Naked, now, and wielding that stupid, goddamned camcorder with a devious glint in his eye.

“Will you—” You held out a defensive hand in front of you, cheeks already heating, “—stop with that?!”

Secretly, the corners of your lips were fighting a smile as Joel drew closer with the camera held up to your face.

“There she is, folks,” he announced, as though speaking to a crowd, or else reading off of a script from the world’s most cheesy porno, “My dirty, dirty girl says she needs a shower—don’t ya, sweet pea?”

It sounded so ridiculous and dumb that neither one of you could keep from laughing. Even as you lifted your middle finger in response, Joel grinned and smacked your ass. Steadied the camera out in front, nudged you closer to the shower, and watched you somewhat begrudgingly obey his orders. Once you’d stripped what little remained on your body, you stepped into the tub.

Add to ‘ridiculous and dumb’ just wildly unsexy as well—who the hell needed a soapy interlude to a sex tape?

Joel Miller, apparently. He constricted his grip on the camera and followed you in, tongue already skimming the backs of his teeth in anticipation. You turned away to step under the shower’s stream, and he wasted no time getting a shot of your derrière. You leaned forward and sighed.

The water worked wonders to get your muscles to loosen some, but still, you were nervous. You could clean up now, stall a little longer, maybe even offer to give Joel head again—but what if he really wanted to eat you out on camera? You couldn’t put off the conversation forever.

Or another minute, it seemed.

You let out a shriek when you felt Joel’s fingers sneak up between your thighs. You hardly knew what he was doing, just folding limply when he spun you around to press your back against the shower wall. Your eyes widened to see him descending your body once more.

“I lied,” Joel said, smirk painted clear across his features, “You’re not dirty—I just wanted to eat your pussy in the shower ‘s’all.”

Chivalry was evidently alive and well in Austin, Texas.

No truer words could have been spoken, and yet, you felt wildly uncomfortable the second Joel’s head dipped between your legs and that big, dumb, handsome face started licking stripes up your sensitive core. You cast a glance to the side and saw the camcorder perched on the sink—just through the open slit in the shower curtain, you could see it pointed directly at you.

You shivered and started to push Joel away.

“Can we maybe just—”

“Sweetie?!”

Joel’s lips tore out of your cunt quicker than a sneeze through a screen door. His eyes were wide.

“Y-Yeah, dad?” you squeaked, tone almost fearful.

“Everything okay in here? I heard ya scream,” your dad returned shortly.

You could only imagine the expression of confusion and distress painting his every lineament in that moment. Probably just barely sticking his head through the crack in the door and blinking anxiously through the steam.

Your dad was caring like that.

He just never knew the right times to show up.

No, there were very few times where you would’ve liked to see him less—apart from that one time you’d sucked Joel’s dick under the table at your dad’s birthday dinner. Your heart was thudding a wild, erratic beat in your chest, and you could only imagine how Joel was feeling. Probably seeing visions of a Size 11 boot being shoved up his ass if his friend happened to slide the shower curtain to the side and see him nose-deep in his daughter’s box.

That would be bad. So very, very bad and probably ten times worse than when Tommy had caught you blowing his brother at the aforementioned birthday party. You just couldn’t seem to catch a break these days.

You sucked in a breath and answered anyway.

“I thought I saw a spider.”

“Really?” You could already sense the embittered tinge to your dad’s voice, harking back to the war he’d once declared on all wolf spiders in the home, “Want me to kill it?”

The next thing you heard was two boots thud on the bathroom floor outside the shower, and you could’ve sworn you saw Joel’s whole soul leap from his body. He shot a frantic look around him, spotted a window above, and seemed to wonder for half a second if he might be able to shimmy his 188-pound frame through a space that probably wasn’t big enough to fit a fat raccoon. He slumped his weight against the shower wall and winced.

“No! I— It wasn’t even a spider. Just a…roach.”

Shortly, Joel’s eyes widened even more and met yours, as if to ask, ‘Why the FUCK would you say that?’

“A roach?!” your dad cried simultaneously.

Apparently, you’d forgotten that any derivative of the word ‘cockroach’ was like a sleeper agent activation phrase for middle-aged fathers who wanted to keep their homes free of all household pests. The look on Joel’s haggard, world-weary face communicated as much to you, and for a second, you remembered that he, too, was built the same way as any other semi-old dude you knew.

Just bigger and beefier and…harder below the belt than you would’ve expected most men around his age to be.

You quickly chided yourself for ogling Joel’s dick at a time like this and replied to your father, shrill, “No!”

Then, slightly more composed, “No, no— I already took it out with some hairspray and told it to fuck off to hell.”

An attempt at humor was the last leg you had to stand on. Fortunately, it worked.

Outside the shower, your dad chuckled, and his footsteps started to shuffle off toward the door.

“Ah. Atta girl,” he beamed, ever the advocate for brutal cockroach killings, “If you see another, just holler, okay?”

“Okay.”

You heard the sound of the bathroom door closing, and you almost fell to the floor. Joel probably would’ve been facedown just as well—fear seeping out of his body along with every last ounce of willpower to stand—had he not made a dive for you as soon as your dad had left.

The force of his push sent you straight into the wall, legs forced to wrap around his waist as he buried his face in your neck.

“Thank fuck,” he breathed.

“You’re welcome,” you murmured, swiping the water out of your eyes with a grimace.

Then, just as you were about to request that Joel lower you back down to the floor and out of the shower’s spray, you felt a nudge between your legs. Luckily not a tongue this time—just Joel, or the tip of his leaking cock. The man below you grinned, and for the first time in a long time, you felt a wash of relief. Could it be?

“I’ll still eat you out if y’want,” he started, though speaking with a little less conviction this time around, “But after all that I, uh—kinda jus’ wanna fuck ya stupid.”

Well thank fuck for fake spiders and cockroaches, too; you’d just averted a dreaded tonguefuck, thanks to that detour.

You’d worry about your pornstar moans and on-camera charisma another time—now you could just sit back and let Joel do all the work while he took you against the wall.

Really, there was no need to concern yourself with anything at all from that point forward. Once you’d given Joel the green light, he was sinking you onto his cock with a grunt and making sure you felt nothing but him. His hands found your hips and held you firmly in place as he rutted into you from below, your own fingers latching onto his shoulders for some much-needed support. Both of you knew that you needed to be extra quiet now—seeing how sound seemed to carry in that tight, tiled space—so Joel snagged your lips in his for a kiss.

He was practically panting in your mouth by the time you started meeting his thrusts. His fingertips slid some and must’ve seared ten perfect crescents into the flesh of your ass as he fucked you into the wall.

“Look so pretty like this,” he whispered in between kisses and short, shallow breaths. His cock parted your insides with an excruciating welt of pleasure, and he hardly even seemed to realize it, “Look so damn pretty takin’ cock.”

Then, lips kicking up in a smile when it seemed he’d remembered something, he added, “Can’t wait to play this tape back home and watch us fuck all over again.”

Again. Again. And again. Shit, you could just see it now.

Your eyes traversed the compact shower space once more to find the video camera—still perched, still live, still perfectly implacable and silent atop the sink as it recorded your every grunt, groan, and shuddering moan. You were nearly as curious to know what Joel’s bare ass looked like rutting into you like this as you were to hear yourself getting railed against the shower wall. Maybe you’d beat this fear of secondhand embarrassment after all.

Maybe.

Joel’s teeth snagged your bottom lip and bit it, lightly.

“Every chance I get, you can bet I’ll be thinkin’ ‘bout this…sweet pussy while you’re away,” he said, voice low and occasionally punctured by a groan, “Say one more thing f’me and I’ll…cum every time I watch this part.”

The kinks at the corners of his lips were endearing. You would’ve liked to supply them with just about anything they could’ve wanted, so when they leaned into your ear and murmured just what it was they needed to hear, you only hesitated a second.

Or maybe two or three, because, well…it was risky.

Moaning ‘daddy’ out loud at a time like this? It might get Joel off quick, but it might send your real dad running even faster. You weren’t crazy about the thought of anything that might draw the man’s attention again.

Joel seemed a little less risk-averse than you, notwithstanding the window-leaping fear he’d felt when your dad had rushed in before. Leave it to a criminally horny man to have the memory of a goldfish, though.

At present, Joel was blinking and gawking a bit like one, too, waiting for you to enunciate that one magic word.

You couldn’t deny he made a damn cute desperate sex fiend when he wanted to be. And you needed to cum.

You figured you could cut a deal with him just this once.

“Alright,” you mumbled against the top of his stubbled lip, “Make me cum and I’ll say anything you want, Miller.”

You weren’t sure if it was a chuckle or a strangled moan that jumped up in his throat when Joel squeezed your sides tighter. All you knew was that he was lowering you to the floor in the next instant, spinning you around, and walking you forward, swiftly and with purpose, toward the opposite end of the shower. Right where the crack in the curtain made you most visible to the camcorder.

Joel’s hand snaked around your front and gently eased between your legs. Then, pressing his chest to your back and nudging you to bend just slightly at the waist, he tipped your bodies closer to the camera’s line of vision and stilled. From the LED screen, you could see the ghost of a smile crossing his lips as he shifted his head beside your own. Next, they were kissing across your shoulder, your neck, that sensitive spot behind your ear, and finally the shell of it, brown eyes trained on the camera lens as he murmured to you, “Stay real still.”

You didn’t know if you could. But you tried. And you damn near cried when his fingers started working circles over your clit. Your body was raised on tip-toes, and your hand was bracing the wall as Joel fucked you from behind and made a mess of your wet, writhing body. In no more than three or four strokes, your fears of looking or sounding stupid on camera trickled away with all the rest of the silent, sizzling liquids circling the drain below. Your cheek pressed against Joel’s rougher one, and with the push of each new thrust, you came more unraveled.

When Joel’s hand closed over the front of your throat, you didn’t flinch. Didn’t move—couldn’t move, as the man was holding you still in such a taut, rigid grip.

“What do we say when we get fucked this nice, baby?” Joel whispered in your ear, words almost entirely masked by the sounds from the shower. You still heard it, though.

“T-Thank you,” you stuttered, cockdrunk and faint.

“Thank you, what?”

Your eyes were fluttering closed, but you could feel the smug expression just over your shoulder. You clenched around him and felt him snap his hips ahead even harder.

“Thank you, daddy,” you whimpered.

“Say it again.”

“Thank you, daddy!” you whined, still scared to be too loud.

Joel wasn’t scared. His hand ascended the column of your neck to pinch your chin between his fingers, jerking your head to the right.

To the crack in the curtain. To the camera.

You could’ve cried with how fast he was fucking you now. You opened your eyes and cast a pathetic look to the recorder. Joel made sure you maintained that gaze, too.

“Who’s makin’ ya feel this good?” he seethed, shaking your whole frame with the breakneck pace of his hips.

“You, daddy.”

“Who’s fuckin’ this sweet cunt like no one ever has?”

“You, daddy.”

Joel seemed sated and somehow not fully satisfied at all. Like he was pleased to see you falling apart for him like this, but needed to hear more. Feel more.

He withdrew from you, and you nearly collapsed with the absence of his arms holding you straight.

You pressed a shaky palm to the wall and almost moaned for him to get his ass back over here, you weren’t done, when Joel returned in a second. To your relief, his muscly arms found their way around your front once more, and his clock plunged back inside you, too—only this time, you sensed you were missing something else.

Water.

It wasn’t on your back anymore.

It was fanning between your legs.

Blasting the full force of its stream toward your most sensitive parts as Joel held the shower head up between your thighs. You would’ve jumped back and screamed were it not for his hand clamping tight over your mouth before you could, his lips grazing over your ear again.

“Try it one more time.”

You released a hoarse, muffled squeal into his palm when he lifted the stainless steel to your clit and started rolling his hips. The strokes themselves were relatively gentle, but paired with the ruthless spate of the water, your eyes were nearly rolling to the back of your head at the pulse.

You couldn’t breathe, much less speak. Joel hummed almost apologetically into your hair but didn’t seem sorry at all as he lowered his hand back down to your throat and squeezed. He continued rocking his hips into yours.

“You’ve said it dozens of times before—what’s’a matter?”

Joel Miller knew what the fuck was the matter. He just liked to see you desperate, fucked-out, and teetering on the brink of going feral before he let you reach your peak.

“D-D-D—”

Damn, you sounded stupid.

“D-D-Do you wanna cum? Is that it?” Joel said, mocking your struggle to articulate words as he fucked you.

In spite of your normal no-bullshit attitude toward him, you weren’t in quite the right frame of mind to be talking back to him. You just nodded and moaned, movements constricted by the grip of his fingers on your neck.

“Use those big girl words for me, honey. I know ya can.”

Again, you parted your lips and started to speak, but the oscillation of the water, the brush of his cock, the patently deprecating lilt in Joel’s string of praises, made it nearly impossible. You ended up sputtering again,

“D-D-ah-fuuuckfuckfuck.”

“That ain’t the word I’m looking for.”

But, just as you ventured to say it once more, he cut in,

“Here. Lemme help ya find it.”

Before you could blink, Joel was pistoning his hips against your ass like he had before, only this time, he held the shower head stationary between your legs as you seized and nearly fell to the floor with the force of all the pleasure coursing through you. Your body seemed to act of its own accord, head dropping to Joel’s shoulder and stomach giving an alarmingly fitful pinch as an orgasm tore through you. You couldn’t control how it came or where it went—or how your tongue jumped up and cried,

“Daddy!”

Joel nodded, fucking you through each violent spasm with all the composure and aplomb of a seasoned pro. While your eyes cycled back in the throes of delirium, he held firm and didn’t slow his hips—or the shower head.

You probably could’ve torn a hole through a cinder block if you’d happened to have one between your teeth just then. That was how fervid and merciless the aftershocks of your climax were pulsing through you, exacerbated to the nth degree by the continuity of Joel’s movements. You managed to grab the forearm that was holding the metal nozzle and plead a wild, slightly stifled, “JOEL!”

In truth, you didn’t really want him to stop. It felt too good. You could tell that Joel sensed this, too, because in the instant after that, his lips were sponging kisses to your shoulder, cock working steadily between your walls.

“One more, sweet pea.”

“Joel—”

“And say it louder this time.”

Were you in your right mind, you probably would’ve chided him for being so reckless and stupid about it all. How the fuck could he expect you to scream out loud when your dad was lounging right outside of your room? Did he really think the drone of Cillian Murphy’s smooth, American-ized tone would mask your unbridled moans? Honestly, you couldn’t be sure—and more importantly, you couldn’t be stopped to consider for much longer. With one last trembling vibration from the shower head and a thrust from Joel, you were cumming all over again.

Squeezing his arm, sinking into his sturdy frame, clenching over his cock in what felt like a hundred convulsions, and casting caution aside, you screamed:

“DADDY!”

You might’ve blacked out for a second or two.

Even a minute, as it was, because the next intelligible thing that reached your ears was the thunder of footfalls. And the thrum of Joel’s own hammering heart as he yanked you into his chest and stilled frozen inside you.

The door swung open on its hinges so hard it hit the wall.

“What is it, sweetie?!” your dad yelped.

“I—”

“Are you hurt?”

Just fucked raw by your best friend and shaking, Pops.

You sucked in a breath when Joel nudged your head with his nose and slowly pulled the shower curtain closed to move you out of view of the camera. But it was still there.

Your dad was still there.

The shower walls seemed to be closing in on you, but somehow, you managed, “No, dad, I’m fine! Just…coulda sworn I saw another spider in here, but it was nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

Your dad sounded unconvinced, pacing closer. You could’ve screamed, but Joel was likely holding you too tight to make any such sounds possible in that moment. The two of you recoiled, still stuck chest-to-back, away from the edge of the plastic shower liner when a boot thudded just outside the crack between curtain and wall.

You swallowed. Joel squeezed. Neither of you breathed.

“If it’s another roach, I gotta call the extermin—”

“No! No, it wasn’t a roach. I’m just seein’ things, I think.”

That didn’t seem to make your father feel any better, because he didn’t retreat like he had before. A tense moment fell over the compact, fog-infested room, like the man was chewing away at some thought in his head.

Then he sighed.

“Alright.”

Blissful footsteps away from the shower. You smiled.

Unfortunately, the grin was destined to be short-lived, because in the next instant, you heard boots screech to a halt on the tile. Pivoted, then paused where they stood.

Another gut-wrenching dozen seconds passed, and for one short, chilling moment, you could’ve sworn you felt your father’s gaze sear through the curtain and see you.

But he didn’t see you. Or Joel. Or anyone.

Instead, his gaze was fixed someplace else.

Suddenly, his voice rose above all the awful noises of clamor and panic in your brain, and broke out, loudly,

“What’s my camera doin’ in here?”

[letoasai]

Will work for food ~part 3

Part 2 ~ Master Post

Tim was beyond irritated. He could have been on a date. Okay, he wasn’t sure if they were dates but they could have been. Damn it. He’d continued to summon Phantom weekly and they’d gone to lunch every time. Pizza. Barbecue. An amazing ramen place. They went to a music festival and visited all the food vendors. 

Things had been going smoothly. He’d been learning more about the Infinite Realm and about Danny himself and was having a great time despite his meddling siblings trying to butt in at every turn. Dick was a repeat offender but Duke, Cass and even Damien had all attempted to ambush him. It was lucky Danny thought it was hilarious and helped Tim avoid them. 

The last two weeks had been a disaster though. He’d had a four day mission with his own team, and had to deal with his friends poking fun at him while trying not to get shot at. Superboy had vastly exaggerated his interaction with Danny to the others! 

By the time he’d gotten back to Gotham, he’d had a small backlog of cases to get through. It was really cutting into both his CEO work and his freaking lunches with a really cute guy who just so happened to be an immortal king of a realm. 

Just when he thought he’d have a little time in the next day or two, Scarecrow was back on his bullshit with his fear toxins. Hadn’t they just done this recently? How had he gotten out of Arkham so fast? 

Tim was woozy, having taken a breath of the toxins and gotten a swift injury to his leg in the process. He’d say it was luck that he already had an antidote on him to fear toxins, but they all carried one with them at all times. He wasn’t freaking out but he could have done without the lightheadedness. It always briefly had him wondering if he’d gotten a concussion, but it was just a side effect. Usually. 

“You good, babybird?” He heard Nightwings voice through comms. He probably thought he was whispering and had no idea how loud he actually was because of the chaos of the night. 

“Never better.” He grumbled, trying to shake off a chill while limping. There was no one around to see at the moment so it was fine. “I’m headed your way.” 

“Good, Scarecrows around here somewhere. Slippery nut job.” Nightwing said. 

“Pay attention.” Batman’s voice ran through their comms. “He divided us on purpose. This isn’t his usual pattern.” 

There was grumbling across the line, everyone having figured that out already but B wouldn’t be B if he didn’t state the obvious for them some nights. 

Tim grappled from one street to the next, hearing sirens far enough in the distance that they couldn’t have been for this. When he landed safely, he pressed his palms to his masked eyes. The throbbing in his head was so annoying, but the jack hammering of his heart was…something he probably shouldn’t ignore but he was. 

“Not a concussion, Red.” He muttered to himself. “Just a stupid sore leg and Scarecrow’s stupid toxins filtering out.” There was always the option that it was a new strain and his antidote didn’t work as well but he wasn’t hallucinating his worst fears so maybe not. 

Trying to shake off his limp, Tim wandered across a nearly empty parking lot. There were a few abandoned cars, most of them missing their tires and on blocks. He kept an ear out, listening for anything that didn’t belong but it was Gotham, and even in the dead of night there were noises. Traffic, generators, air conditioners, nocturnal animals. There was always ambient noise, the key was ignoring the background hums and focusing on the shuffling goons. The problem he was having now however, was the faint ringing in his ears. 

“Red?” Nightwing's voice drifted across comms again. “I don’t see you yet. Something happen?” 

“No i’m…” Tim swallowed, suddenly parched and feeling overall…bad. He tilted his head back to check his surroundings and realized he’d gone the wrong way. How disoriented was he? “Okay, i might not be okay.” 

“Red Robin?” Batman’s voice was calm but urgent. “Do you need backup.” 

Tim almost stumbled but caught himself. “I feel like shit. I think there was something new in the toxins my antidote didn’t take care of.” 

“Oh, how wonderful. You figured it out so quickly.” 

Tim tensed, whirling around to face Scarecrow. Tim hated to think he’d been snuck up on but the rogue was sitting on one of the ripped apart cars in the lot. 

“I’m coming to you!” Nightwing said firmly. “On my way!” 

Tim waved Scarecrow’s words away cockily and only just noticed the way he trembled. “You’re losing your touch. Not a single, horrifying hallucination.” 

The rogue just chuckled. “Oh no, tonight’s a bit of a tester. Something a little different.” 

“That right?” Fuck. 

“Oh indeed, you don't mind being a guinea pig, do you? This particular batch didn’t have the hallucinogens, no. What it is doing is creeping through your system, forcing your body to activate all too real symptoms of fear.” 

“Seems a little corny for you.” Tim said, knowing the others were listening carefully. 

“And you're shaking.” Scarecrow’s huge grin grew broader. “What else, little bird? Over heating? Or are you freezing? Heart pounding? Knees weak? Feeling a fresh wave of tears building? Do let me know. It’s for science.” 

Tim tsked. He wasn’t about to cry but his throat was tight. It was almost like he was having trouble taking in a breath. 

“Somehow, a gas that makes people sick is so much less impressive than your normal routine.” Tim said, his trembling getting worse, but he was positive he was being tracked by at least some of the others. He just had to stall until Nightwing got there. “A couple of phantom pains the best you could come up with?” 

That wasn’t his best quip but Scarecrow took the bait anyway. “Oh no, it’s very real. Your body might not know why it’s so panicked, but it’s pulling out all the stops. Who knows, maybe your heart could just stop.” 

The problem with a lot of Gotham rogues, was the fact that they were actually intelligent people. The man likely could have gone on and on, but he jumped up and moved onto the offensive. He had a pitchfork tonight, and no one could say the man was original. 

“Now just stay still!” 

Tim dodged, the pitchfork surprisingly leaving quite the hole in the concrete. It should have been a simple dance and disarm kind of fight, but Tim’s shaking just got worse, and his stomach started to hurt, and his heart really was trying to beat out of his chest. It really was like he was terrified, the chills of his body making him sweat. 

“No ever actually stays still when someone’s running at them like a lunatic.” Tim said, but the words were almost hard to get out. He wasn’t choking but his throat was so clogged. 

The sass cost him though, and he was hit in his already wounded leg. It sent him rolling across the parking lot and Scarecrow just laughed. 

“Oh, what fun. It’s a shame though, i really miss the screaming of my patients visually seeing their worst nightmare, i’ll have to combine them.” 

Tim legs nearly gave out from under him when he tried to get up. Injury and the damn shaking leaving him unstable. He’d had to stay crouching, pulling out his staff to dig into the ground in front of him to hold himself up. 

“Regardless of my fears, you’re not one of them.” Tim wheezed, wondering if the hallucinogens were actually kicking in when a mist appeared. It was a frigid kind of cold that left ice crystals on all nearby metals. 

“Oh, we’ll see, little bird. I have plenty for your entire family. In fact, i’d love to see what a second dose would do to you.”

“Nearly there.” Batman said, but there was a hiss to his tone that said he knew it wasn’t going to be a timely arrival. 

“This isn’t good…” Tim whispered, watching Scarecrow pull out a small canister, and he was too wobbling to put more distance between them.

With a laugh, Scarecrow hurled it towards him. “Don’t be afraid to inhale!” 

Tim jerked back using his bo-staff as a crutch to give him some kind of momentum but he watched as the canister exploded midair and…something was strange. The cloud of chemicals had been clear for one second before disappearing. There was no time to worry about how quickly it could have been caught on a breeze when even Scarecrow himself looked confused. 

“So fear is your niche.” 

Tim shuddered, eyes going wide as his head jerked towards the sound of the voice. The gentle reverb of the words slicing through him. His solace was that the ire he heard wasn’t directed at him.

Danny was there. Well, King Phantom was there, having appeared out of thin air. It was the first time Tim had seen that form in a while but his friend was just as hauntingly ethereal as Tim remembered. 

He dropped the canister, and Tim had at least a partial answer. Whatever had gone wrong with the toxins had been Phantom’s doing. 

The king stared down at Scarecrow, but Tim couldn’t see his face from where he now sat. “I know a thing or two about fear.” Danny whispered. 

“Impossible.” Scarecrow spat, puffing up like a cat. None of the Gotham rogues liked their plans being disturbed and by a newcomer no less. “What did you do?! Did you inhale my toxins!? Absorb them!? Fool! You’ll be their next victim! You won’t be so relaxed for long! Even Red Robin’s a terrified mess!” 

“Red Robin! Report!” Batman’s voice was firm in his ear. 

“Relaxed?” Phantom mused, deceivingly calm. He’d stiffened, head turning just a little as if checking on Tim, but he never truly took his attention off the rogue. “No, not relaxed. Angry. As delicious as your parlor tricks were, i take offense to finding you hovering like a predator over my friend.” 

He rose into the air a few feet, and only then did Tim realize that he had been standing instead of floating, well, he was floating now. 

Scarecrow just tsked, unaware of the power in front of him. “Meta? Alien? It doesn’t matter. That combination of chemicals-”

“Was delicious.” Danny repeated. 

Tim scooted away, his leg throbbing. “Phantom.” He muttered, finally answering Batman through strangled breaths. “Phantom’s here.”

“Regardless, the offering was not enough to pacify me.” Danny muttered, the black crown over his head spinning. 

Scarecrow actually began laughing, it started with a chuckle but then it grew into something loud and boisterous. “You’re barely more than a child, are you sure you’re ready for this? The hero game is crowded here in Gotham, and you don’t look like any bird or bat i’ve ever seen.” 

Tim watched the way Danny’s hood swayed to the side as he tilted his head. “I am no bird, nor am i a bat.” 

“I’m sure you’ve impressed your little friends with your meta abilities, but it means nothing in a city like this. Though i see you have your talents. How are you unaffected by my toxins?” 

Ice erupted from the ground, enguling Scarecrow’s legs an inch at a time, creeping up his body without a hint of warning. “You misunderstand.” Danny whispered. “I am not here for a conversation. I’m here for my friend, and to teach you that dabbling in fear is childsplay to a being like myself.” 

Tim couldn’t see… Danny was facing away from him but his galaxy cloak billowed out around him without even the slightest breeze. There were shadows…? Something? Tim couldn’t see though he tried. What he could see was Scarecrow, and even with his face covered, his body language betrayed his growing horror. 

“You can not frighten the dead.” Danny said, but in a voice that was decidedly not his own. 

Scarecrow started screaming, a desperate sound that had him thrashing in place, the ice now well around his chest. Tim didn’t know what the rogue was seeing but if scaring someone to death was really a thing… 

“Phantom.” Tim tried to raise his voice and had to close his eyes to shove away the sudden lightheadedness. He was shivering. “W..we good…?” 

Whatever was going on paused, and Danny seemed to reign himself in. The strange movement of his cloak stopped and Tim briefly made a mental note to ask Danny what kind of other forms he might have. 

Danny turned to him, looking normal, though he hadn’t seen his white hair in a while. “I forget sometimes…” He commented, voice even softer than usual. “The living are so fragile.” 

Scarecrow was still screaming, but his head was lulling back and he looked seconds away from passing out. He was held in place by the ice, and obviously wasn’t going anywhere. 

“Yeah, we’re like that.” Tim muttered, shoulders slumping now that the danger was taken care of, it didn’t stop the way his body twitched. His stomach hurt so bad. 

Danny landed by his side silently, a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah. Leg’s a little messed up but it’ll heal. The… the toxins in my system are going to have to run their course, unless i can work out how to s..somehow come up with a new antidote before then. St..stupid…” 

Danny cocked his head to the side, wispy white hairs floating around his face. It was unfair how attractive he was. “Want me to eat it?” 

Tim heard a confused “Wut?” from his comm. Spoiler summing up that comment nicely. 

“I can absorb emotion. Because it can sustain us. I just think of it as a different way to eat.” Danny said. Tim breathed a sigh of relief that that half ghost had been around him long enough to know that he liked explanations when he didn’t understand something. 

“That’s w..why the fear toxins didn’t affect you.” 

“Mhmm.” Danny hummed. “Gotta get that recipe though. That was tasty. Frighty would love it. 

Tim sighed, feeling another wave of nausea and he…was pretty sure he was seeing colors he shouldn’t be. “You always leave m…me with more questions than answers. My s..symptoms aren’t emotional. Chem..chemically induced.” And fuck this was so embarrassing in front of the King of the Infinite Realm. 

Danny hummed, and if Tim wasn’t mistaken, he sounded amused. He leaned closer, fingers touching Tim’s face and all at once, he started to feel better. His shaking stopped almost immediately and he was left to assume that despite the chemicals he’d inhaled, Danny was still able to take them from him. Honestly, scientifically it made no sense whatsoever. 

At least his stomach didn’t hurt anymore. 

“What do i owe you for this one?” Tim asked with a weary smile. Other than a sore leg, the other symptoms seemed to disappear. 

“I got two separate fear meals. I’m good.” Danny chuckled, helping Tim to his feet only seconds before Batman and Nightwing arrived. 

Nightwing made a beeline for Tim, grabbing him in the tightest hug while Batman was instead looking Scarecrow over who had, in fact, passed out at some point. 

“Wing, watch it! Watch it! The leg!” 

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Nightwing clung anyway. He then held a hand out to Danny. “Thank you so so much, your Majesty! Your timing is to die for!” 

Tim knew he was in trouble when Danny took Nightwings hand to shake, and his eyes lit up. “Wing…” Tim said in a warning tone that went unheard. 

“No big deal. Visiting Red Robin really lifts my spirits.” Danny said with a small grin, fangs a little larger than in his living form. 

Nightwing tipped his head back and laughed. “Yes!” 

“No…” Tim groaned, shoving away from his brother. 

“In all seriousness, i’m glad i came.” Danny said. “I wasn’t sure if you were trying to summon me or not so i thought i’d poke my head in and see.” 

“I…didn’t realize i did?” Tim muttered, checking his utility belt. “I do have the spell circle but…” 

Danny shrugged “Well you said ‘Phantom’ at some point. I thought it sounded a little different but well…i didn’t think it would hurt to double check. I’m glad i was able to help.” 

“We appreciate it, your Majesty.” Batman commented in a gruff tone. He very much did not appreciate it but couldn’t be mad about someone saving Tim when he wouldn’t have gotten there in time.“What exactly did you do? This ice is-” 

“Oh, right.” Phantom waved his hand flippantly and the ice disappeared. Scarecrow dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. “He’ll probably suffer nightmares for the next week but he’ll shake it off.” 

“I have… so many questions…” Tim repeated. 

Danny just looked at him fondly. “You always do.” 

“I’ll take him in.” Batman said. “Red Robin, return for medical treatment.” 

“I’m fine, B.” Tim said, but he was getting a look. “Grab whatever he has on him so we can make new antidotes.” 

Batman grunted, and it was possibly lucky that the rogue was already knocked out. 

“Hey, hey, King Phantom-” Nightwing began. 

“Just Phantom is fine.” 

Nightwing was positively giddy. “What do you say to four a.m. waffles? I know you ate the fear or whatever but you deserve a proper thank you meal.” 

There was something so boyishly charming about the way Danny smiled. His constellation freckles even seemed to twinkle. “As long as they don’t bite back. I’d like that.” 

“Concerning.” Tim hummed, testing his weight on his leg. It wasn’t broken but he wouldn’t be grappling anywhere else tonight.

“Great!” Nightwing said, tapping his own comm. “Spoiler will meet us there!” 

Danny glanced at Tim. “Do uh.. You go…” He gestured to them. “Dressed like this?” 

“All the time.” 

“Okay then.” Danny said, and the only adjustment he made was to reach up above him and grab his crown. It disappeared from view. 

“So many questions.” Tim heaved a sigh. “I guess breakfast would be nice. We haven’t done breakfast yet.” 

Danny nodded once. “At least i feel like i earned it this time. You’ve just been treating me so much lately.” He sounded as close to shy as Tim had ever heard and it was killing him. 

Ugh, now he was doing the death puns… 

“You don’t have to earn your food with us.” Tim said softly. 

“RR is right, you know?” Nightwing beamed. “You should totally get him to bring you home one night, Phantom. Best home cooking you’ve ever had.” 

Danny hummed, “It’s a low bar, but that could be…nice.” 

“We’ll discuss it over waffles!” Nightwing just…decided. 

Tim shook his head, not sure how he felt about these two getting along but Danny was smiling and Tim was a sucker for those smiles. 

“Alright.” Tim said, stifling a yawn. “My leg is stiff so one of you is gonna have to help me get there, but let’s go eat.” 

Danny’s green eyes just glowed with mirth. “No problem.”

[edwardianmumbo]

Oh I just thought about the dark angst that is fandom's version of traffic smp where they all die to just be reborn to die again + how I could use this as inspiration of my own ocs

[astranyx]

So I'm sure you've all seen this picture before:

It's gotten a surprising amount of use here on Tumblr. So allow me to regail you with the tale of how it came to be.

A while back, (like five or so years) Facebook would not stop inundating me with an ad for a "build it yourself" Hurdy Gurdy kit. Naturally I complained about it to my friend group since it was absolutely ridiculous. Well after about three or so months I finally broke down and bought the damn thing. This immediately prompted my best friend @thevoidwatches to make an edit of the popular Garfield propaganda meme to read "You are not immune to the Hurdy-gurdy." And we all had a good laugh about it. Void ended up helping me build the Hurdy-gurdy which was a very fun time, even though the cursed thing sounds like a dying cat. But even still it's a very beautiful to look at piece so I keep it around.

A bit of time passes and @theshitpostcalligrapher opened their askbox to get some good good shitposts to make calligraphy of, and naturally I had to get the meme immortalized. However I didn't remember the wording void used for some damn reason, and ended up submitting "I am not immune to the Hurdy-gurdy"

So why am I telling you all this? Well 2023 just ended and my friend group did our holiday gift exchange. And when I opened up my gift I found out that my best friend @anonforlackofabettername commissioned shits to make me a truly curséd thing.

BEHOLD:

A new and improved version of the infamous "I am not immune to the Hurdy-gurdy"!

Apparently anne got pictures of the damned Hurdy-gurdy to send to shits for the drawing right in front of me, and I had no idea what their true purpose was for.

It goes without saying that I absolutely love and adore this gift. Now I just gotta find somewhere to hang it up.

[inbarfink]

So when I wrote down that Big Undertale Meta Post about how Sans probably doesn’t remember RESETs at all and why that’s cool - I got a lot of responses to the tune of ‘that’s probably canon but I’m still gonna enjoy Sans Remember fics because of the angst’. And, well... first I want to emphasize that those are very good and correct responses! Like ‘I acknowledge might or might not be in the text but I am also gonna explore alternative ideas Because I Enjoy Them’ is a Good Damn Position to have! Transformative Fandom is Transformative on purpose! Engage with the text and it’s various analyses but don’t let it chain your creativity or fun!

It’s just that… all of the people saying that they prefer Sans Remembering ‘for the Angst’ make me think that maybe folks are kinda ignoring the incredible angst potential of Sans NOT remembering.

My original post focused on how cool it is that Sans manages to be so on-top-of-things even though he doesn’t remember anything - but let’s not ignore the fact that this situation is also grim as shit.

Through some mysterious super-science or whatever, Sans has managed to discover that his timeline is being RESET and altered constantly (before the Player came along, Flowey had already managed to basically 100% the entire Underground) and he has no memory of what's going on and what exactly is being altered. 

He knows he might’ve gone through the same day over and over and over again thousand times but he’s simply not aware of it. It’s all the helplessness and lack of forward momentum of a classic timeloop and none of the benefits of memorizing occurrences or acquiring extra information. That’s exactly the thing that drove him into his depressive spiral.

That line always strikes me. It’s like… Sans suspects that without the meddling of capricious immortal time gods, he’d be a much happier and motivated person. But he doesn’t know for sure, because he can’t remember how he was in some distant ‘original timeline’. He is essentially fighting to avenge a version of himself that might not even be real.

Like, yes, it is very impressive and badass how well Sans trained himself to notice every tiny little hint that might indicate that a RESET happened - but it’s impressive because the deck is stacked so heavily against him. And it is very impressive and badass how Sans managed to turn his weaknesses into strengths during his Boss Battle - but it’s impressive because these are usually huge weaknesses. Trying to work to solve a timeloop that you can only infer is going on through context clues is quite a hopeless and desperate mission!

Another bit in the Sans fight that I often think about is his unique reaction if you kill him and then RESET to Fight him again.

With how skilled he is at reading expressions, Sans probably knows what that ‘weird expression’ means, he knows the Player killed him once before and is here to try again. And yet he still goes along with the same attack plan he has, the one he knows killed him in that previous timeline. Why? Because he doesn’t know where the flaw in his plan was exactly, he can’t even begin to guess. So he has no choice but to go along with the plan he knows did kill him, because that’s the only thing he has. 

You know, the thing about Sans, is that he always plays his cards very close to his chest. It’s very hard to tell what exactly he’s thinking. That’s probably why so many people do believe he remembers RESET. If any non-Flowey character remembered RESETs, only Sans would be remotely able to hide it so well. But for me? It makes me wonder how much of his Troll who Knows Too Much persona is a bit of an act as well. 

You know, Sans’ deduction requires some keen observational skills - does he ever second-guess his conclusions? Living on constant high-alert that something has been reversed or that someone knows something they shouldn’t requires fostering a lot of paranoia, and that can’t be healthy for him. Is he ever overcome with doubt on whatever something was really an indication of a timeline RESET or not? How does he feel when he realizes something horrible happened on a previous timeline (for example, his brother dying) but he doesn’t know about the context to feel sure that he can stop it from happening again? 

I also think about it in terms of his relationship to Papyrus in general. Sans tends to hide so many things from Papyrus, especially in timelines where the Player is particularly kill-happy...

In part it’s about his perception that Papyrus’ kindness and pacifism is born from naïveté and thus the only way to preserve it is to hide the cruelty and harshness of the world from him (Undyne also does that). But also, with the paranoia and helplessness Sans lives in every day - is it any wonder that he might believe that ignorance is bliss?

I do truly think it’s beautiful how fandom can experiment with cool non-canon ideas! There are probably so many great emotional angsty ideas tied up to Sans remembering RESETs! I just feel it’ll be a shame if people ignore just how dire and depressing Sans’ canon situation also is!

[time-is-restored]

do you guys every think abt death vs immortality as a thoroughline in like. literally all of the mechs albums.

old king cole is explicitly warped by immortality (never to forgive he would eternal live, his hands dyed red by gore - can be read a few ways depending on where u place the emphasis, but at the very least communicates that his wrath is facilitated By his immortality), and the olympians commit attrocities in order to hold onto their wealth and the immortality that it grants them (murdering arachne, yanking heracles' chain the second he tries to go freelance, having a monopoly on the acheron etc). the value they put on immortality and living forever, and the fear they have of ever possibly losing it, has completely warped their morals and priorities.

and while it comes up less in tbi, there's still significant emphasis placed on how odin has been in power for a century (both thor + the narrator bring it up, and there's also an emphasis on how long ago the bifrost project was started, and how 'no one left living' can explain its science). her villain monologue in rangarok iv places the extinction of asgard as an honour - a ruin that no one can possibly rebuild from is called 'apotheosis'. and as she says at the end, the idea that no one can possibly outlive her is a key draw for odin. asgard dies with her.

in hnoc, the only really immortal character is brian (and we only really know that bc of knowledge we get from outside the album), but the axis of life and death as a privilege vs a curse is still very present. 'mordred's gift to Arthur could be love in his own eyes / fating him alone to keep the life to which he clings', not only posits that the gift of survival isn't inherently good + kind (which the audience would immediately recognise as love, not possibly love), but places emphasis on the fact that arthur is now utterly alone. the station's death at the hands of mordred is hardly a happy one ('Its people damned, doomed by a man who's lost all his regrets'), but arthur's fate is arguably worse. severed from the finality and closure of death, what does he become? [insert that one cool theory abt hnoc arthur becoming old king cole here]

it's like. on a meta level, the reason we as fans don't put much emphasis on the depravity + cruelty of the mechs is bc the people portraying the mechs are all charismatic + skilled performers. in live gigs they're all portraying the fun side of their characters - roasting each other, bantering with the audience, making fun of the characters they're singing about, referencing off-screen violence - bc if they portrayed their lore too literally they'd be comitting felonies LMAOOO

but narratively, its like. literally every album is a meditation on the ways that the glorification of immortality can ruin civilisations - can ruin galaxies. whether its rooted in the fear of you specifically dying, or of being outlived, or overpowered or forgotten, or if its done for the sake of someone else's survival... it's all corrosive. if u refuse to accept the indisputable impermanence of life, you lose the ability to value it, and u numb urself to the reality of just how fucked up it is to cut another person's life short for any reason.

like. i do think some of the mechs started as good people, and some of them even might still have ethical standards, but i REALLY cannot stop thinking about how fucking. fascinating it is that this group of immortals who are KNOWN for basically considering nothing but how fun and/or violent any given activity will be, have basically filled their entire discography with songs about how their continued existence is corrosive and brings tragedy + ruin wherever they go.

so how self-aware are they? do you think those old morals + ethics still linger in their mind, when they're writing down these tragedies? they willingly self identify as liars + thieves + bastards, etc etc, and they seem to have no trouble identifying the 'bad guys' in the various albums (ie: humanising snow + cinders + rose, but not king cole), but do those concepts actually mean anything emotionally, or even theoretically, for them all beyond their dramatic potential? do they remember their lives before they were mechanised as it actually happened, or do they remember it as lyrics to a song? is it possible to be entirely self aware abt ur own capacity for violence (as jonny in paticular claims to be), if you no longer relate to violence as anything other than a narrative device - a means to an end, whether comedic or dramatic?

[radiance1]

Prompt idea: inmortal teen looking Danny, jumping across different dimensions he lands in DC. He quickly become annoyed because the native heroes won't stop trying to adopt him.

Oh and it take some years to Danny to jump to another dimension

*Cracks knuckles*

Alright so this is extremely, very, late. But it shall be DONE!

So, let us start with some BACKGROUND.

Danny is an immortal teen, yes? So then, Danny has outlived every mortal he knows, as in Jack, Maddie, Sam, Tucker, Jazz, everyone.

So when the last person he loved and cared for died (your pick as to whom), he went into the ghost zone to explore to hopefully forget all the pain. He explored the zone, stopping by some of the ghosts he knows before finding a portal, to which he just says fuck it and dives in.

At first he didn't know where he was, but with some digging he came to the conclusion that it's a different dimension and is like neat. So he explores a lil, meets some people, drinks and eats some food.

Y'know, the usual tourist stuff.

So after a few years he had his fill of this new dimension, seeing everything there is to see and all. So he left, finding a conveniently open portal and then goes on to the next.

And the next.

And the next.

Until one portal, like any other. He pops into a new dimension and expects it to be like all the others, he already had things going on his mind about what it would be.

Perhaps old timey? Maybe Prehistoric even? Oooo, maybe it would be futuristic, those are always fun.

Except it was none of that, in this dimension people have powers and superheroes are actually real.

He was a bit surprised, but easily accepted it.

So there he was, just minding his own business outside of earth's atmosphere, eyeing up the planet to think about where he would visit first, he picked up a lot of languages in his travel, so he doesn't think he'll have a problem where he choses.

So he picks a certain spot to land, some city by the name of Metropolis, only to be met with two people.

A man with a red cape in blue and red spandex, and standing near him is a bat furry in black spandex.

Weird choice but alright, he doesn't judge.

It was when the former turned around- Superman if he remembered correctly, that he felt like he was punched in the gut.

He looked so much like him, so, so much that he thought he was standing- well, more so floating, right there in front of him.

"Dad?"

Danny noticed his mistake after he let it slip, there were some slight differences that his father didn't have, and well, his father is dead and all.

So what did he do to save himself from the embarrassment of mistaking some guy for his dead dad?

He's an adult- practically older than a lot of people actually, even if he looks like a kid. He is mature and will solve this and act accordingly.

He turned invisible and peaced out.

He's sure nothing won't come out of that frankly.

It was just a teeny, tiny slip up.

Something did come out of it, much to Danny's chagrin.

Now he's being followed by these superheroes everywhere for whatever reason and they won't leave him alone when he just wants to sight see.

In a dark and grim city because he was avoiding Metropolis?

Followed by some ninja furries in spandex. (Also what the fuck, why the hell are they so damn sneaky for he almost forgot they were following him-)

He went to New York.

Got found by this random lady who also wouldn't leave him alone.

He escaped to Central City and had a conversation with this guy in red spandex with a lightning bolt of his chest.

Honestly he had a pretty nice time but what is it with Superheroes and spandex?

He wanted to leave, but the portal isn't gonna open again for some undetermined amount of time.

...The universe really likes to fuck him over, don't it?

[kaylas-world-0]

is bullfrog date headcannons okay?

A/N: Of course~ And sorry if this is short. I couldn't think anything else to add lol

Bullfrog x h!reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 894

Taglist: @blorbostation

Btw does anyone want to be in the tag list?

Two things can definitely happen in this scenario. Either Bullfrog dates with you or stays away, he doesn't want to hurt you because of his job.

But right now, with your request we are going with a scenario where he chooses to date you and has close contact, so...

He is already a sweet and kind guy (and wise too). But when it comes to you it just doubles up. He is the dictionary meaning gentleman.

He could do anything for you to see you smile. It includes being silly. Avoiding his jokes isn't even an option.

"Knock knock"

"Not a door joke. God...Who’s there?"

"French"

"French who?"

"French frise!"

He is as honest with you as possible. He doesn't mind anything at all. He is comfortable with you and hoping you are with him too. He just wants you to be yourself with him.

Very affectionate and physical. You don't like PDA? He will drown you with his compliments.

"You look stunning as always, mon amour."

He loves to see your cheeks turn pink. He loves to fluster you. He will flirt if it means he could see that all the time.

"When you're around, I don't need anything else, mi chéri."

You are feeling bad? Exhausted? Sick? He will take care of you. There are no excuses.

You are in danger? Hurt? Oh god. I think for the first time in your life you might have the chance to feel sorry for those kinds of people. You know what I mean?

Bullfrog doesn't get angry very much. But what if he hears that you are being used or harmed? He will then go into fast rescue/kill mode. (I believe he still wouldn't be mad mad but you know)

I don't know why but I feel like killing or getting harmed isn't his breaking point to go mad about it. We need something else (Hopefully I can figure that out one day lol)

He likes to kiss your hands and if possible (because of his height) on your forehead too. You probably need to lay down or kneel for that and he doesn't want to force you. But if you lie down on his lap? Damn, he will melt and donate your face all over with kisses.

He is not someone to get jealous. He trusts you with his whole heart. But that doesn't mean he is not protective over you. If he sees someone bothering you and going too far? He will step in and warn them kindly. If that doesn't work? Oh, well. Have fun watching him give them some senses. What? No, of course he is not gonna beat them up. No, no. That's not his still. Not in public.

He could stare lovingly at you for hours. Tracing your lines. Observing your features. If undisturbed he can do this all day and night.

He can and will be brutally honest when the time is right (not specifically towards you), and sometimes that scares you.

"We are immortal spiritual beings that are embodied in mortal flesh to experience emotions and develop our own destiny, designed by ourselves in our pre-natal life."

"What?"

He is just joking.

He wears casual clothes when he is around you. Like a hoodie and shorts. Something comfortable.

He likes to cuddle with you while you both sit comfortably on your couch, watching something and a blanket around both of you. He LOVES your warmth. So he is gonna steal your hand whenever he gets the chance. Or lean his body on you.

He is very understanding and expects the same from you.

If you prepare breakfast and bring it to him in bed before he wakes up in the morning (which is a bit difficult, I'm sure he will always wake up before you), he may or may not start crying in happiness.

You can't sneak up behind him so no surprise attacks. It's not always end up like you planned it would be. He always somehow sensed it even before you had the idea.

"Agh, come on! At least can't you pretend you didn't know? It's impossible to surprise you!"

"Well, sorry, mi chérie, but you are a bit too obvious."

"That's not true!"

"Okay, okay, I'll pretend next time."

He couldn't. He just acts on instinct; you can't blame him for it. It happens unintentionally

"I just wanted to surprise you for your birthday, damn it!"

"Oh?" He is in tears from happiness.

He is not playing around when he told you that he loves you. You are his one and only.

Dates are either on rooftops or in your house.

He will never let you disrupt your sleep routine for him.

You are having trouble with something? Always having nightmares or you just can't sleep? Or having trouble eating? He will be there every second of it to help you.

He is not innocent. Of course you know that. He knows his place and he respects your boundaries and thoughts.

He feels intimate with you.

He loves any kind of fruit. I can see him sitting on the couch eating apple slices with you.

He becomes really awkward when he doesn't know what to do about something or gets really flustered.

He will support you with anything you will and can do.

LOTS OF PET NAMES IN FRENCH

[screaminglygay]

KINKTOBER day 3

pairing: vampire!kate x fem!reader

summary: are you and kate actually meant to be together? you will get the answer at ceremony, where you’ll be surrounded by many other vampires, that are not the friendliest in town.

word count: 4.3k

warnings: light slapping, smut!!!, kinda dom!kate x sub!reader, mentions of blood, some swearing, dirty talk, if anything else I’ll add it

an: i had fun writing kate, she’s so fun and i need her asap:) also i used few sayings from my language and tried to translate it, so if it doesn’t make any sense in english i sincerely apologize haha

an2: also! i was very inspired by this TikTok!

(italics = your thoughts)

!MDNI!

Enjoy this spooky time and be safe!

"Baby! We´re gonna be late and your mother will kill us!" You yell, knowing damn well that the taller dark haired girl heard you.

It was a big family night for you and Kate. You were invited to family gatherings before, but today is different. Tonight you´re meeting her grand grand family members from all around the world. Most of them were against your relationship with a pure blood, but after a few stories they heard about your good impact on Kate, they realized that humans are not so bad after all.

Tonight is a big ceremony of the first humam coming to their family after almost 690 years. The only thing you have to do, to be accepted, is give a little of your blood to your mate, aka Kate. Sounds easy, right?

Well there are three scenarios that might happen. One; she will like your blood, which is the greatest option. The second situation could result in death in front of numerous vampires, and the third and worst possible outcome is that you have cursed blood. It basically means that you two aren't meant to be together, Kate explained to you weeks ago. So after hours, days of googling what blood type is the best for vampires, you actually gave up. Google didn´t give you the answer, shockingly. You just wished you would be Kate´s ideal.

"She can´t kill me, I´m immortal. Remember princess?" At the speed of a light a pair of hands wraps around you. Kate kisses your cheek, hoping it would ease your nerves.

"Oh, I completly forgot! My bad." Rolling your eyes at her wasn´t your brightest idea as a harsh slap on your ass was sent right away. "Ouch!" you yelp.

"Don´t." She spins you around so you two were facing eachtoher. Her cold hands found a way under your dress. Her blue eyes scanned your whole body, holding a little longer on your clevage that your new dress showed.

"Like what you see?" You tease her, already kwowing the answer.

"We don´t have to go there, princess. We can stay right here and-" Kate´s eyes were still on your breasts, until you cut you her off, then she met your eyes.

"Youre forgetting that I´m not immortal, Katie. And I would really appraciate not to fight any vampires today, especially not your mother." You smile at her. "Besides we can have fun later. After all the ceremony and blood testing thing, if everything will be okay and-" you ramble, but this time it´s Kate who jumps right in.

"It´s gonna be okay. I love you and you´re exactly my type." She winks at you, but your nerves are still all around the place. Her hands slips lower, gently touching the insides of your thighs.

"This distraction teqnique would work if our relatioship wouldn´t be on the line, Katie. So leave it for later, okay?" You smiled at her, wishing you could stay here and just enjoy eachother, just as much as she did.

"Fineee" Kate let out a big whine, like a kid when you take them their favorite toy. Which was exctly what´s happenening.

"The sooner we go, the sooner we will be back." You mumble.

"I like this mindset." She chuckled and then both of you went hand in hand outside, where your car with a driver was already waiting.

The car ride was comfotably silent, Kate was holding your hand the whole time, which helped you a little. After 20 minutes you´ve arrived, but you stayed in the car for another 5 minutes. Kate knew you were nervous, she could feel your nerves dancing all around your body, but mostly in your mind. She didn´t said anything, she just gave you a soft smile that made you fall for her the second you saw her. Slowly kissed your lips and then she opened the door for you. You will never get used to her super fast movements.

As always the Bishops made a big event look even bigger. Everything was so expenssive, even the dust looked like it was personaly made for Kate´s mom, Eleanor Bishop, for tonights occasion. As you get closer to the entrance you feel the nerves working again, making your stomach twirl, your hands starts to get shaky. As you approach the entrance, you're greeted by towering iron gate adorned with dark and sinister ornaments. These gates open slowly, revealing a long path leading deeper into the heart of the ceremony.

"Maybe we should get back, you know-" You quickly whisper in Kate´s ear.

"Easy, princess. You´re doing really good. Just hold my hand and I promise, everything will be okay." Kate looks at you with her cute little face. You sigh.

I´m okay, Kate says I´m doing good, so I´m doing good.

As you proceed, you notice the decorations adorning the area. Enormous candles everywhere. The flames seem to dance with a life of their own, casting flickering shadows that play tricks on your senses. It looks so magical, yet terryfying at the same time. The walls are lined with rich, dark wood paneling and huge ornate mirrors. Each table has gold cutlery and is decorated with blood-red and black roses.

Vampires don´t eat, why do they have so many tables set?

Your girlfriend see you look around with confused look on your face, she whispers. "My mom wanted it to look luxorious."

"So she spent a lot of money on... cuttlery and plates?" You chuckle a little.

"Basically, yeah." Kate shrughs and smiles with you.

"I can afford it, it would be a very sad life if after all these years I would be poor, don´t you think, (Y/N)?" As soon as you hear the voice you stop in your tracks, you don´t even dare to turn around, turn around and face Kate´s mother.

"I- I didn´t mean it as a bad thing, Mrs. Bishop." You turn around and notice that she is wearing a striking red dress that cascades to the ground, it´s fabric flowing like liquid silk, decorated with golden stripes.

"I know." Eleanor chuckles. "And to answer your question, it looks better rather than empty hall with just vampires." She looks at you and then Kate. "You two better get ready, you know how Daniella is." With that she leaves.

You turn to Kate and she´s already openning her mouth like she´s reading your mind. "My grandmother. She hates these gatherings. And I don´t blame her, she´s..." Kate stops in her words as she tries to figure out how old is her grandmother, but she just giggles, "... old."

You share a laugh with her as you two go into the backyard, where the ceremony will start.

As you walk through the lavish hallways right outside, you can't shake the feeling of being watched. The stern-faced vampires seem to follow your every move with their eyes. You can hear hushed whispers and the occasional sinister chuckle from hidden corners, making your skin crawl. When you enter the garden, your breath catches in your throat. A group of elegant vampire stands in a circle. Their conversation falls silent as they turn their attention to you, their gaze piercing through your very alive soul. You feel like a deer caught in the headlights, your nervousness intensifying with every passing second.

"Just go sit over there, I´ll come in a second." Kate nods towards the over dacorated throne with big gold crystals all around, as she lets go of your hand. You try to look confident, you try to look as you got this whole situation under control, but you´re still in a room full of vampires.

One of the vampires, a particularly tall vampire with a charming look approaches you. He extends a hand and invites you to sit on the throne. You accept, trying to hide your trembling hands as you sit down. After a few second you stop shifting in your seat as you feel finally seated, as you look up, you see all the vampires looking at you. Of course none of them is blinking so the whole situations is just more terryfing.

In the the crowd of vampires you try to find your partner, Kate. But no matter where you look, you can´t see her, your thoughts start to wonder, once more.

Oh my god.

Eleanor´s voice brought you out of your chaotic thoughts as she´s now standing next to you.

Super speed, of course.

Eleanor starts to speak with a velvet tone that sends shivers down your spine. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. The time of bonding two souls has come once again. After almost 690 years, we´re here to reaffirm our eternal bond, to celebrate our power, and to welcome a new member into our family. Tonight, in the power of moonlight, we have a rare guest among us - a human, who has willingly chosen to share in our world. A human, who´s heart is strong enough to beat for two. Let this gathering be a testament to the strength of our coven and the allure of our kind. We welcome you all, and we extend our gratitude to our honored guest. Let the ceremony begins." Eleanor takes few steps away.

Oh god. Now it´s my last second here on this planet. I didn´t write my will! Shit.

As you sit on the throne, a mix of fear and anticipation washes over you, for you have entered a world unlike any other, and tonight, you will be forever changed. The whole garden is incredibly silent, which makes your beating heart even louder.

Two vampire figures step forward, Eleanor fixes your hair and give you a warm smile, as warm as the vampires can do that. The other vampire, you could tell miles away, Kate. Your eyes meet and you both immidietly smile and suddenly, you feel safe. You feel like no matter what´s gonna happen, she is there to protect you. Always.

Eleanor speaks again. "Is everything prepared, my dear?"

"Yes, everything is ready." Kate nods with a small smile.

Your breath quivers as you feel their gaze upon you, you could cut the tension in the air. You don´t dare to look away from Kate, as you know that the rest of the vampires are watching you, like a prey. Even though that´s off the table for a long time now.

"Are you prepared for this, (Y/F/N)? Once this ceremony begins, there is no turning back." The tall vampire that helped you sit down now speaks.

You nod, your voice a shaky whisper: "Yes, I'm ready."

Kate steps closer, her eyes locking onto your neck with a hunger that sends shivers down your spine. Of course she kissed your neck before, so this wasn´t something new, but this time both of you felt that there is something in the air. You noticed her eyes, they were darker, almost like she never had a blue eyes, now they were completly black. She leans in, her lips barely grazing your skin, her voice a sultry mumble.

"Don't be afraid, princess. Let´s pretend it´s just me and you." She takes your hand in hers.

As her fangs descend, your heart races, and you close your eyes, preparing for the worst outcome. But Kate's sharp fangs pierce your tender flesh, a pain overpower your senses. It's an weird sensation, like a burning brand pressed against your skin, and your muscles tense in response. The world seems to blur, and a wave of dizziness washes over you as Kate's bite deepens.

It hurst more than you could ever imagine, but like the waves on the shore it quickly washes away. The pain begins to transform. It morphs into something else entirely, an intense, electrifying sensation that surges through your entire body. You let out a big exhale as you can feel Kate´s touch everywhere, it´s indescribable feeling that is running thorugh your whole body.

Kate has a moment of ecstasy. As your blood rushes into her mouth, it´s adicting in a sense. The taste is inexpressible as well, an intoxicating blend of sweetness and saltiness, and it fills her with an sense of power and pleasure. Every drop that she draws makes her feel more alive than she ever has, and it's as if the very essence of your being is nourishing her soul.

In this shared moment, you and Kate are connected in a way that most of her family didn´t belive. The boundaries of life and death, pain and pleasure were moved once again with your relationship. It's a dance of darkness and desire, you can feel your heartbeat come back to normal as Kate pulls away.

Her eyes are even darker and yours are too. She was right, it was always just the two of you.

The other vampires watch in awe and fascination as Kate and you share this profound moment of bonding, their expressions ranging from curiosity to envy. Most of them though you two weren´t meant to be, or at least they wished it was in that way. At the end you´re still just a human to them.

One of the vampires, closed to where you and Kate were, whispers to another one "Did you see that? It's been ages since I witnessed such a powerful bond."

"Kate truly has a unique way of choosing her companions. This human must be special indeed." The tall vampires whispers back.

The vampires exchange knowing glances, recognizing the significance of this moment. The bond between you and Kate, marks as a rare moment. As they continue to observe, Kate finally pulls away fully, wiping her mouth and then licking the few drops from her fingers as she made eye contact with you.

As both of you had your senses high you two couldn´t deny the fact that you need to be alone, asap!

"Let us welcome you, (Y/N), in our family. Now officially. Let´s raise our glasses to the special bond. To the never dying love!" Eleanor smiles at you and then turns to the vampires, that were holding their own. They all cheered to you and Kate.

You step down from the throne, feeling a sense of acceptance and belonging from the vampires around you. As you begin to walk through the garden, many of them offer congratulations, their voices low and respectful, but you don´t really pay attention as your girlfriend dissapears again.

Then, you spot Kate approaching through the dimly lit garden, her eyes finding yours in an instant. She takes your hand and, with a sense of urgency, starts saying quick goodbyes to the others.

Kate leans closer. "We need some time alone, my princess." She smirks.

"You are reading my mind, Katie." You mumbled.

The other vampires don´t mind you leaving at all, which makes it easier and quicker for you and Kate slip away from the gathering. You follow her, your heart pounding with an excitement, as you make your way back to Kate's apartment, where your journey into the night truly begins.

...

As soon as you step inside her aparment her hands are on you. Her fingers slowly trace over the teeth marks she left on your neck.

"Did it hurt?" She whispers as she kisses your neck.

"Uh- a little" You moan right away.

"A little?" Kate pulls away and raise her eyebrow.

"Okayyy, it hurted a lot. A lot lot, but... after a second-" You were cut off by Kate´s words.

"It felt better than anything in this word." She smiles and you simply just nod. "Go strip on the bed, I´ll be there in a second."

And if Kate means second, it is truly just a second, but this time, she made sure that you have some time to actually take off your clothes, as she wanted tonight to be special.

As you open the door you immidietly start to take off your clothes, fistly your shoes and then your dress, which takes you just few seconds. As you walk past the mirror you notice those cute little bite marks, which sends you pulse right into your pussy. You let out a moan, which makes Kate runs into the bedroom.

"It feels that good, huh?" Kate smirks as she is still wearing her black suit, her hands are behind her back as shes holding a small black velvet box.

"Gosh, I forgot that your ego is big, I didn´t want to boost it more." You playfully roll your eyes.

Kate pushes you on the bed, her hand on your neck. "And I thought I won´t punish you tonight, since you´ve been so brave, princess. Guess you won´t get your present."

"No, wait!" You whine. "Sorry, sorry, I want my present, please." You add.

Kate smiles and kisses you slowly and passionetly, pulling away, while bitting your lip, which makes you wince. She bit little too hard and your lip starts to bleed. She wants to pull away, but being on top doesn´t help her much. You´re under her and the sight of you completly naked, with blood on your mouth is just the most pretiest sight. The kissing is harsh, fast and messy, but none of you really cares.

"I want the present, pretty please." You say between breaths and Kate smiles as she pulls an inch away from you.

"Of course you want the present, sit up for me, please." She moves away from you so you can sit up. You did as you were told and Kate gives you the pretty black box, that of course was decorated by "KB".

Your fingers tremble slightly as you gently lift the lid, revealing what lies inside. Your breath catches in your throat as you behold a stunning collar made of dark, lustrous metal. The collar is adorned with a row of purple crystals. The crystals are deep and regal, like amethysts, and they sparkle with an elegance that takes your breath away. It's a piece that symbols of your newfound connection with Kate.

"Turn around." Kate says as you´re done inspecting the collar.

You turn around. "It´s abolutely beautiful, Katie. I love it, thank you."

Kate smiles at you words, as she puts the collar on you, you flinch at the sudden cold feeling, your nipples perk up. "So responsive." She kissed your neck again. "I´m glad you like it, princess." The vampire whispers in your ear.

Her hands are all over your body as you are pushed on the bed once again. Kate sits on you, pinning you down, "Tonight is about you, my pretty princess. Just lay here and enjoy your night. Will you do that for me?" She made the puppy dog eyes. Those eyes can get out of any trouble and in every bed.

"Yes, Katie." You smile and nod, already feeling impatient you buckle up your hips, earning little slap to your tits.

"Patience." She smirks, knowing she has this effect on you.

"Not todayyy!" You whine.

Kate leans close, kissing you where she bit you earlier, which makes you moan instantly. It is exactly what Kate loves to hear. She moves you higher on the bed and scoop lower, being inches from your already so wet pussy.

"Open your pretty legs for me." You did, very quickly in fact. "Gosh, look at you, so wet already and didn´t even touch you." She makes eye contact with you and smirks. "Did my biting made you that wet? Or me collaring you? Hm?" Kate kisses your inner things as her fingers trails up and down your leg.

"Both." You quietly let out.

"Both." Kate repeats with a smile on her face. "Because you were so good today, I´ll make it easy for you. Look at me, if you stop, I´ll stop. Understood, my pretty princess?" Her fingers were now incredible close to the place you needed them in.

"Yes, understood." You look in her eyes, they were still dark and you knew she was impatient as well as you are.

Her mouth came closer, you could feel her breath, against your skin and after two soft kisses on each of your inner thighs, Kate finally gave in and still very teasingly kissed your clit.

"God-" Your eyes wanted to be closed so bad, but you knew you have to keep them opened.

As Kate smirk agaist you she start to eat you out, very slowly. But after a few of your pretty loud moans, she licks you, like there is no tomorrow. Her tongue was skilled, she knew your body more than you knew it yourself. So after every flinch, every move of your muscle, she knew you are close. So close.

Her fingers are still going up and down your legs, pinching you time to time, to avoid you closing your eyes. "Eyes on me, princess." Kate mumbles into your drenched pussy.

"They... are." You whine as you bite your already bruised lip to keep your eyes open.

Kate just chuckles, which sends immidiet pleasure right into you. Both of you know you´re close, so so so close.

But after a few second you don´t feel anything, no lips, no tongue, no touch. You had to close your eyes, it was just so good, that there was no other way and like Kate promised, she stopped. Completly.

You whine, your hips instantly moved to search for anything. You need something! You eyes open wide, Kate is still between your legs. She´s watching you, and as she did before with your blood, she now wipes her mouth, messy with your juices.

"Hmm so sweet, princess." She licks her fingers.

"Kate, please-" You whine as you move your hips again, your heartbeat matching with you pulsating pussy.

"You knew the rules-" You cut her off.

"I know, but please, it was an accident!" You move yet another inch closer to her.

After a few second of watching you, Kate decided that she will give you another chance. "Close your eyes and you´re not cumming, got it?" Kate crawls on top of you and tug you by your collar. "Got it?" She tilts her head.

"Yes." You nod kissing her as you can feel your taste on her tongue.

"Tasty, right?" You nod again, as she slowly crawls back between your legs, this time she didn´t waste any second and her tongue makes contact with you right away, she was needy too. Her touch starts to be so harsh, no more soft licks or light touches, she needs you to come.

And oh my god, you are close in just a few second of her touch. Kate smirks knowing, she won once again and her ego is going straight to the space, but she will tease you about it later.

"I-" Kate smiles and nods, knowing exactly what you need.

"Tug on your collar, princess. And I´ll say the magic words." She mumbles agaist you as her fingers now entered your hole.

"Fuck- me" You moan loudly, which was like a music to Kate´s ears.

"I am fucking you, princess." Kate smirks, you can´t be bratty now, but hell she would deserve some bratty remark, but you truly need to cum. So you just obediently listen to her and your hand grab on your collar. You did as you were told once again and tug on it harshly.

It makes Kate smile, seeing you like this. Knowing she is the only person that could touch you like this, knowing only she makes you feel this good.

But you knew the same thing too, there is no one on the planet who would ease her thirst as much as you do. No one could do such a good job as you. No one.

"Can-" You open your mouth to talk but you just moan. You don´t have to say anything at all for Kate to understand.

"Go ahead, princess. Cum for me." She mumbles agaist you as her fingers move sligtly faster and her mouth try to lick all of your juices.

Your hand grips Kate´s head as you push her more into you, moving your hips like non compos mentis. "Mine." Your hand grabs her hair as you finally release, coming on her mouth and fingers after such a long time full of stress.

Kate smiles as she licks you. "Yours, princess." After a few second of you bucking your hips up and down, your breathng is steadier and you let go of Kate´s hair.

She kisses her way back up, few kissing on your thighs, her favorite tummy and slowly giving attention to your nipples. As you´re slowly coming down from your hight, you can feel Kate kissing your neck. After a moment or two, Kate comes closer to you, finally kissing your lips.

In that moment, everything fades away, and it's just the two of you, sharing a deep connection that don´t need to be said out loud. The affection in her gaze mirrors the love you feel in your heart, knowing that your love speaks louder than any words ever could.

And you are so happy, that tonights ceremony ended the way it did, because you would rather die, than live in a world, where you can´t have her.

"I didn´t knew you were that possesive, princess." Kate whispers as her eyes scan your face.

"I´m always possiseve over you." You smile.

Kate hums as she kiss your neck again, after few moments of enjoying the feeling, you understood that she wanted to do. "Katie..." You mumble.

"Baby just one more bite, please." She responds, her voice beeing so needy and you can´t deny her.

As Kate sank her teeth in you one more time, both of you knew right away that the rest of the nigh will be a long, and Kate won´t be the only one wide awake tonight.

Thank you for reading!<3

[tozettastone]

Five fun sized KakuHida one shot ideas—

ONE

Hidan has a deeply dumb business idea. Whatever it is, it is so so stupid. It makes zero sense in a rational market. It's also wildly successful anyway because Hidan is hot, and that's more of a superpower than being smart or having a bloodline limit and MAYBE more of a superpower than being functionally immortal. It totally defies Kakuzu's predictions (which were of course of failure and collapse). Hidan is a terrible winner. He's also gone and donated all his profit to an obscure monastery in the back hills off the swampy end of Hot Water. He says money makes you dumb, and also sinful. Mostly dumb. Kakuzu is going to kill him. Like, again. Harder this time.

TWO

Hidan and Kakuzu have been married in the secular (and thus meaningless) sense for tax reasons for several years now, but recently Kakuzu has realised he can get free food at all sorts of places if they pretend they're honeymooning. He has been 'honeymooning with Hidan' for eighteen months now. The rest of the Akatsuki are pretty evenly split on what the hell kind of relationship this is, which is why today Deidara has embarked on the incredibly fucked up mission of interrogating Hidan's severed head about his sex life, yeah.

THREE

Hidan is a nightmare travelling companion. He is variously: too cold (put a shirt on), bored, tired, sunburned (put a shirt on), hungry, sick (shouldn't have eaten that, then), dirty, damp and miserable... Kakuzu has killed him five times this week alone, and so far all it's done is make him complain that he's bloody and he needs another bath. The next time he slings the body over his shoulder and carries the head in the crook of one arm, mouth sewn shut and hands inaccessible. It does not help.

FOUR

Itachi and Kakuzu must work together when the Akatsuki is hired to defraud someone's insurance provider via a genjutsu that can fool the insurance adjuster. Kakuzu is bringing the knowledge and context, and Itachi is bringing the godlike genjutsu skills. Itachi-san is on time, polite, quiet, and absolutely professional. He respects Kakuzu's combat abilities and bizarrely complete understanding of insurance regulations. Kakuzu respects his genjutsu skills. They're nailing their mission, effortlessly! Also, just as an aside: it's been three days since Kakuzu last heard someone complain about blood in his hair or scream a hymn to suffering twenty minutes before dawn, and he thinks he's losing his fucking mind. He's... unstable. Mentally. Mentally unstable. That's the only possible reason. Obliquely he broaches this with Itachi, who is an actual foetus and who is definitely judging him. It doesn't help and it's mortifying.

(I think this one needs POV breaks where we switch to Hidan, who is bored out of his mind and driving Kisame to drink.)

FIVE

There's finally a bounty taken out on Hidan, which has taken a damn long time to arrive because a) nobody cares about shinobi from Hot Water, really and b) most of the time Hidan doesn't leave enough people alive for anyone to notice how much of a menace he is. Kakuzu is having an amazing week. He's handed Hidan's head and body off in two pieces at six different drop points this week alone. He just sits on a rock and counts his lovely, lovely money until his partner stumbles back down the road, covered in blood, holding his head on one-handed, and glaring and wildly annoyed about it. And then he just does it again. Kakuzu has made so much money. Finally, one weird trick that works.

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Male Yandere Parasite x Female Wife Reader

Inspired from Tomie, but what if a human scientist decided to genetically alter himself to be able to move from one host to another, taking over their body, and replacing the original host entirely? (Original host is dead, with their body acting as a husk puppet for yandere parasite). Yandere parasite decided to do this to try and achieve immortality so he could be with reader darling (literally) forever. The “only problem” is that he has to convince her now to let him do the same procedure on her so they both can be together forever…

This definitely goes into the body horror genre, so I don’t want you to freak out from potential graphic writing if you’re uncomfortable writing it. Stay in your comfort zone as always! I just thought this’d be a fun take on the “eternal soul mates” trope

Thanks!!! 💝

Yandere! Male! Parasite x Female! Professor! Wife! Reader

💝anon, this tested me ways I don't think is possible. But damn was it enjoyable to write.

For your other requests, I have to reject some ideas ;-; Don't get me wrong, your ideas are fantastic, but the requests reached my quota and I spun the wheel to choose which requests to do TT__TT

Not just 💝's requests too, some of others got rejected also due to again, having reached the quota already huhuhu.

Yandere! Parasite name: Acheron

Immortality. A lot of people want to live forever. Some go through the supernatural route, some religious, and some the scientific route of insanity.

Acheron has always been the weird kid.

A lot of people doesn't understand his genius, and his fixations on parasites didn't really help people understand his unique understanding of the world.

And he, who doesn't really see the importance in human interaction, didn't care to connect with people also.

He's quite cold, always had a perpetual annoyed look in his face, and doesn't smile until he talks about parasites.

He's in his own little world, in his own little space.

Yet, Acheron, despite being an unusual genius in his family, can only be reclused so much until he needs to actually go fight in the real adult world.

After graduating with a parasitology degree, he was lost, and didn't know what to do.

Sure, he could work in labs and study parasites as much as he wants, but working in a lab with other scientists that can be potentially more knowledgeable than him doesn't really sit well.

He's quite arrogant in his own right.

So, setting up a lab in his own home, he started to do experiments by himself.

Nobody to tell him that his experiments are unethical, nobody to tell that he's doing too much, nobody to tell him that "No, Acheron, using people for your parasitic experiments is bad!"

Well, who is the bad person now, huh?

He looked up at the vial in front of him. It was weird, seeing this small parasite wriggle and write letters on the glass with its slime.

The consciousness of the person he kidnapped to experiment on has transferred to this little worm.

And, on the table, is a comatose body who's only alive due to the machinery.

Never mind that the parasite spelled "HELP ME" on the glass, he just continued to place the parasite up the nose of the comatose body.

And, as he got out of the experimentation room and locked it up, he smirked once he saw the body twitch and writhe, and by the two hour mark, the man was slamming the glass walls, demanding to be let go and for him to return to his old body.

Acheron lets out a loud, triumphant, yet cruel laugh.

Consumed by his own ego, pride, and desire for immortality, he finally made the perfect vessel to be immortal himself.

He punched the red button and turned his back on the man, whose coughs and wheezes so as his pleadings turned to quiet murmurs. And, a sound of a falling body was heard.

And that is the story of how the first immortal emerged from a humble, blood filled, homemade lab.

It was the year 20XX, 50 years after the mysterious disappearance of Acheron in his home. It was burned down, but not a body was found.

Well, his body is not found.

Countless bodies were found under his garden, and one was found inside the burnt home. Including his parents.

There is no clear factor on which targets Acheron picked. All of them were at random.

But all of them had one thing in common. Inside of them were some type of parasite that was unknown.

It seems genetically modified, but was too dead or too burnt to be identified properly.

He's known as the parasitic recluse, as he's rarely seen outside of his, well, his parents' home, and that he's a parasitologist.

People theorized on what he did, and why was he experimenting. Did his parents knew about his work? Or are his parents in on it?

It was skin crawling, thinking what Acheron might have done to these people.

It's the start of the new semester in all of educational facilities. In one of the Ivy League Universities, one of the beloved professors in the biology department is walking towards the field to induct the new professors which just got hired.

Young as he may, he smiled at the students and co-personnel passing by him as took his place in one of the chairs.

It's Acheron, who took over the body of a well known parasitology professor in the University. After he passed by the office one day with his previous body, the professor coincidentally got a heart attack and died. So, he transferred bodies and framed it that his previous body was the one who got a heart attack.

It's been three years since then, and he finally got access to a bigger lab, and more knowledge from this body's previous knowledge.

He's thriving immensely. Immersed in work, experiments, and research now that he has all the time in the world. Honestly, this would have been such a heartfelt want if not for the fact that he did horrible experiments to people to gain such power.

Once the speakers played a royalty free music to start the ceremony, Acheron stood tall and scanned the new professors before landing his eyes on a starry eyed woman.

His heart raced a bit as he saw you look at him with such adoration, like he was your idol.

It was... Refreshing. He's never been looked up to like this, even before the ceremony.

After the inauguration, you hopped towards him with a grin. He also had a small smile.

"Sir [redacted]!" You cheerily said, pertaining to the person Acheron is occupying now. "I'm such a big fan of yours! Your researches, and I have a collection of parasites you discovered!"

Acheron chuckled liking your enthusiasm. It feels good to have such a fan like yourself.

"Well, thank you, miss..?"

"Y/N!"

"Y/N..." The way your name rolled off his tongue felt good, but he doesn't know why.

"May I invite you to drink some coffee, sir? I really want to talk to you more..." You shyly said, holding his hand.

He cleared his throat, suddenly shy and hot.

For the first time in his life/ves, he felt attraction, a simple crush wanting to bloom to a bigger thing. It's scary, but his heart yearned for more. After years of being barren, you burrowed yourself into a you-shaped hole in his heart and refused to be let out.

Slowly his fixation got a one up. Other than parasites, he's fixated on you.

Dating him is fun. Although, there are some times he gets a bit too jealous and possessive. He told you he planted some trackers in you, he's confrontational about your other co-workers and even students, and threatened to kill himself if you leave him.

It was extreme that even Acheron is winded by how extreme he is. But does he care? Somehow, but his heart was too much to be dictated.

And you, the blind person you are due to idolization, ignored these red flags and married him only after 6 months of dating.

After marrying, on your 1st year anniversary, he revealed everything.

And I mean, everything.

Acheron fully became comfortable around you.

He's much more lenient now as he studied researches and experimented with parasites.

It was weird, seeing him suddenly become so complacent with you. When he's such a red flag before, now it's almost a complete 180.

Did his insecurities die off..?

Now that you say that, he's really busy these days.

Maybe that's why he doesn't really have time for you anymore?

Somehow, that upset you a lot.

So, you confronted the guy in the laboratory you and him shared.

Opening the door slightly, you poked your head through the opening and saw him experimenting on a worm. The worm wiggled, as if spelling something.

Your heart trembled. Yes, you love Acheron, but sometimes, he does freak you out.

"Acheron? Are you busy?" You whispered, a bit of a sad edge on your voice.

"Hmm?" He looked up at you and grinned. "Love! How are you?"

He took off his gloves and went up to you. Hugging your body against him excitedly.

"What do you need?"

"Um, actu--"

"Well, whatever. Love! I finally remade the parasite!"

Your stomach dropped. Suddenly feeling dread on your stomach.

"P-parasite..?"

"Yes."

He grabbed a vial and showed you a worm suspended in water. It was just calmly wriggling around.

"I want you to inhale this, alright? Don't worry, it will only hurt a bit." He said with a manic grin.

Your heart pounded, your trembling eyes looking at the vial and back to him.

You could see parasites wriggling around in his eyes.

"Come on love, don't worry. It's completely safe!"

He held your shoulders, gripping it strong that you can't even break out of his hold.

You can't run.

You wanted this relationship.

So suffer the consequences.

"We will be together, forever!"

[headfullofpresley]

Vamp!E Request! Elvis being shy about his hunger for blood, not knowing how to ask and being a southern gentleman about it 🫣

𝐁𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐞

Pairing: Elvis Presley x reader

Word count: 6,5K

Warnings: 50s!elvis, vampire!elvis, best friends to lovers, strong language, blood consumption, gladys is alive, mentions of the colonel, mentions of nick adams, partly set at the tupelo fairgrounds, smut; slightly subby!elvis, semi-public, car sex, hand job (f. & m. receiving) vag penetration, creampie, unprotected sex.

A/N: damn, i'm gettin' kinda rusty at smut buuut i had fun writing this! also, i'm shit at writing shy stuff, but i tried. anyways, this has been sitting in my inbox for a hot minute- sorry for taking so damn long, dear! hope you'll enjoy. ❤

masterlist | suggested playlist

“Goddamnit Nick, you’re fuckin’ useless- I asked you to bring enough, I have to get up there in 25 minutes and there’s nothin’ left!”

Gladys visibly cringed at the roar of her son’s loud voice and the slamming of the ice box that was inside the dressing room tent where Elvis was giving Nick Adams a piece of his mind.

People close to Elvis knew he had a bit of a temper now and then, but only few knew that was because he was dealing with heightened emotions he was still getting used to. He had only been turned into a vampire two years ago in an unfortunate accident and both he and the people around him were still learning about vampirism.

Having her son turned into an immortal creature that needed to feed on blood to stay alive was something Gladys had a hard time dealing with in the beginning, but she had gotten used to it now. She was used to the bloodbags in her freezer and the way he’d squeeze her a little too tight when hugging her sometimes, but whenever he was in a mood like this, she knew best thing to do was to stay away.

“What’s going on, Lovie?” you questioned as you arrived at the tent and heard your best friend barking at Adams, who wisely kept his mouth shut despite having been granted with immortality longer ago than Elvis. The beginning actor knew young vampires could be reckless and were hot headed- he had no idea how, or if, Elvis would lash out if he’d say or do anything.

“Oh, Y/N,” Gladys sighed with worry in her eyes, grabbing your hands and squeezing them softly to comfort herself rather than you. “You know how he gets- I don’t know what happened, but I’m sure you can calm him down. He always listens to you,”

It was true- he did always listen to you, because he knew he could literally say anything to you and you wouldn’t bat an eye. You’ve been friends with Elvis since you were children- he knew all your secrets and you knew his. When he had become a creature he knew nothing about, you were the first person he came to- scaring the living shit out of you when he stood in front of your door covered in blood.

But you didn’t turn him away, didn’t leave him to deal with everything alone. He trusted you, sometimes even more so than himself.

You turned to look over your shoulder, meeting the eyes of The Colonel who stood a few feet away, talking to Tupelo’s local press. He gave you a little nod, knowing that you were the only person that was able to go in there and come out unscathed- he sure as hell wasn’t going to try.

“Please, Y/N. I don’t know what to do with him anymore,” Vernon softly begged as he wrapped an arm around Gladys’ shoulder. You sighed softly and looked at her, giving her a gentle smile and a nod of your head.

“I’ll see if I can get him to calm down- don’t worry. Everything will be okay,” you assured Gladys, kissing her cheek and squeezing her hands before letting them go and stepping inside the tent.

 

Empty bloodbags were littered through the dressing room, Nick Adams very obviously being the culprit of the deed- guilt was written all over his face. He looked up and as he noticed you, he gave you a little nod and rushed out of the tent.

You didn’t give him the time of day, not being very fond of Mr. Hollywood.

“Did you at least get one?” you chuckled softly as you picked up a few bags, trying to lighten the mood. You knew it probably wouldn’t work, and a comment like that would only anger him more if it’d come from anyone else, but this was you.

He had never hurt you before and he wasn’t planning on doing so either.

“That motherfucker took everything, the fuckin’ pig,” he spat angrily, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he leaned against a vanity table and watched you throw some bags in the trash. “I have to get on that stage and I haven’t had a damn sip.. bite.. sip- ah, whatever,”

“When was the last time you fed?” you asked as you cleaned some drips of blood from your hands with a paper towel, walking toward him after you threw that away too. You lifted yourself on the table, putting your chin on his shoulder as you looked at him. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes for a second- it took him a little bit to give you a proper reply, your scent distracting him.

“T-this mornin’..” he opened his eyes, turning his face to look at you. Your heart skipped a beat when you felt his breath on your face- you had hoped you still had one secret that Elvis didn’t know about, but you were pretty sure he knew you were in love with him.

Your heart gave you away every time.

His eyes wandered down to your lips and to the curve of your neck. The sight of your blood pumping through your veins which was more obvious to his eyes than those of a human combined with the sound of your heart beating faster and faster against your ribcage made his mouth water. For a second there, you thought you could see him leaning in, but he was on the other side of the dressing room before you could even register his movements.

“You’re hungry, El,” you pointed out, a slight hint of worry on your tongue. He tried to act casual, combing his hair in one of the mirrors in the tent and fixing the collar of his velvet blouse. “You need to eat- you need to get your energy up for the show,”

“Y/N.. please..” he sighed as he looked at you, shoving his comb in the back pocket of his pants before crossing his arms loosely in front of his chest again. He already knew what you were getting at, but he refused. “I’m.. I’m okay. I’ll send The Colonel to the nearest hospital for some new bags, I’ll be fine,”

You shook your head at his stubbornness as you hopped off the vanity table, slowly walking over to him. You knew he never wanted to feed from you- it was dangerous, especially for a young vampire like him. But you wanted him to enjoy himself up on that stage and you knew he wouldn’t be able to do that on an empty stomach. He needed blood, one way or the other.

And the thought of him sinking his teeth in your skin made your knees weak- you had been dreaming about it plenty of times before.

 

It took Elvis a lot of convincing. A lot.

He only had ten minutes left before the show and he could already hear The Colonel pacing outside of the tent, nervous that Elvis would be a no-show. Elvis was growing more nervous himself, not because he didn’t want to feed on you – oh boy, did he want to – but because he didn’t want to hurt you.

He had never fed directly from the source- he completed his transition with a bloodbag, a diet he stuck to. It was hard to fight his urges, but if he wanted a career in showbusiness, he couldn’t go around biting people left and right.

But here you were, sitting on his lap as he had settled on one of the couches in the dressing room. Hair pulled back, the side of your neck on full display, inviting him. Your scent was nearly overwhelming, but still he had his doubts- with you being so eager for it, he found himself becoming a little shy.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” he mumbled as he tightened his arm around your waist, pulling you closer against his chest. The tip of his nose ghosted along your jawline and the curse he let out under his breath sent a tingle down your spine and in between your thighs. “W-what.. what if.. I’m not a-able to stop?”

You grabbed onto his shirt, your other hand holding onto his shoulder as your arm was resting around his frame. You pushed yourself even closer to him, making him groan softly as his plumb lips caressed your neck. “You will,” you whispered breathlessly, your hand moving from his shoulder to the back of his head, fingertips tangling in his gelled locks. “I trust you, the way you always trust me.”

He pulled his head back out of your neck a little, bringing his hand up to grab your chin and making you look at him. His cheeks were flushed and the growing erection that was poking your thigh underneath you made you nearly lose your mind. As much as you wanted so much more than just a bite, time wasn’t on your side right now.

“What if I hurt you?” he questioned in a low whisper, his tongue making an appearance to sweep over his lower lip.

“Maybe I like pain,” you grinned playfully, tugging on his hair a little as you arched your back, pressing your chest against his. His hand that was resting on your hip moved lower, large palm squeezing at your curves- just as he was about to kiss you, you pulled back with all your mental strength.

“We don’t have time, El. You need to feed,” you told him, pulling his head back a little by giving his hair another tug. He groaned as he looked at you through hooded eyes, squeezing your ass with a little more strength, stealing a small moan from you. Now you were the one with equally as flushed cheeks and it made him laugh softly, leaning back into your neck when you released the tension on his hair.

He knew he was going to have to be quick and he hated it. He wished he could take his time with this- kissing your neck, letting his tongue trace your veins and feeling the blood pump through them underneath his wet muscle. Right now, it was all rushed and he barely had time to taste the perfume on your neck.

But despite the lack of time, his mama raised him right. It was obvious that you wanted this and he didn’t need to ask for consent anymore, but he still felt it was the right thing to do.

“H-Honey.. can I.. can I bite you?”

The question was almost comical if you didn’t live in a world where immortal creatures roamed around freely. And maybe you would’ve laughed at it in any other situation, but right now it nearly made you jump out of your skin.

You wanted him. You needed him.

“Yes, Elvis,” you moaned softly as you felt him nuzzling his nose in the curve of your neck, inhaling your scent. “Please bite me,”

To the best of his abilities, he ignored how his cock twitched in the confinements of his pants upon hearing your words. Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to properly kiss you or take you right here and now. He went for the next best thing- placing rushed kisses against your skin before he found the spot he was looking for, parting his lips and pushing his fangs into your neck when they appeared.

 

Elvis didn’t know how, or if, he could ever go back to bloodbags.

He also didn’t know if it was because you were the first human he fed from or because warm blood was just so much better, but he found the taste addicting.

Your blood gave him a rush of energy, even more so than bloodbags gave him, and he couldn’t stop himself from letting one of his hands roam your body, his other hand cupping the other side of your jaw to keep you in place. He was squeezing your ass and hips, pushing you firmer against his chest and at one point, his hand found its way in between your thighs. You were wearing pants and you cursed yourself for making that decision this morning- before you could even focus if you felt his fingers there, his hand was gone again.

The more blood he took, the weaker you were starting to feel but it didn’t stop you from moaning and clinging onto him. The pain was starting to turn into pleasure and you wouldn’t be surprised if your panties were soaked by now, but your mind was too foggy to care about it.

 

“Elvis! What’s takin’ you so long?” Vernon yelled from outside the tent, making both you and Elvis freeze. He didn’t want to pull away, wanted to take more of your blood, but he was forced to. Elvis knew if he wouldn’t provide his father with an answer, the man would come inside the tent and Elvis didn’t want him to see you and him in a position like this.

His mother would have his head.

You whimpered softly at the feeling of Elvis gently pulling his fangs out of your flesh, his vampiric features disappearing again as he cleared his throat a little. “I’ll be right there, Daddy!”

You heard Vernon mumbling something you couldn’t make out before he shuffled away from the tent. Elvis turned to you and no words needed to be spoken as he crashed his lips onto yours, laying you down on the couch. He was in between your thighs in a split second, grinding against you and sucking greedily on your lower lip.

You broke the messy kiss by laughing, placing your hands flat against his chest. He whined softly as he pouted at you- which would look a whole lot cuter if his lips weren’t covered in your blood.

“Please, Y/N- I’m fast, baby. I can get you to cum before you even know it,”

You widened your eyes at his words, laughing again as he groaned dramatically when you shook your head. You grabbed his face when he kissed you again, not wanting to pull back, but forced to.

“After the show, okay?” you suggested, sounding out of breath, trying your best not to wrap your legs around his waist and trap him on top of you. “You’re full of energy now, but I need a minute,”

He grinned, nodding his head as he slowly got up from the couch. You sat up as well, pulling some tissues out of the box that stood on the coffee table littered with drinks and magazines, wiping some blood off your neck. Elvis cleaned his face, but he couldn’t stop his legs from wandering back over to you and kissing you again. You kissed him back, moaning softly in his mouth as he let his tongue explore your mouth- another voice calling for Elvis came from the outside of the tent and the young vampire pulled back with a deep, slightly frustrated groan.

“Don’t go anywhere, okay, honey?”

You smiled at him, throwing the tissues on the table. “I wouldn’t dare to leave,” you told him, slowly getting up from the couch. You were a little wobbly on your feet, but you managed to follow him to the exit of the tent. “Go have fun up there,”

He nodded, smiling as he leaned in to steal another kiss but this time, your lips didn’t get the chance to touch. Vernon bursted in the tent and grabbed his son’s arm, pulling him outside. You stuck your head outside, laughing softly at the sight of Elvis being dragged away- when you turned to your left, you saw Gladys was still there, this time with her hands full of snacks she had gotten at the fair.

She gave you a knowing look and a shade of pink colored your cheeks, following her back inside the tent and allowing her to feed you the snacks and tend to the little bite marks Elvis created in your neck.

You just hoped all she thought Elvis did was feed from you- nothing more, nothing less.

 

Gladys wasn’t born yesterday. She knew you probably just as well as she knew her own son and she was very aware about your feelings for Elvis and his for you- while he might be a little bit better at hiding his crush to you, not to her. He had always confided in his mother and that didn’t stop after he turned into a vampire. She’d sit at the kitchen table with him in the middle of the night whenever he came home from a show and she’d listen to all his, sometimes too, crazy stories- and also about how bad in love he was with you.

She thought you were the perfect girl for Elvis and she wouldn’t accept it whenever he said things would probably never work out because he lived forever and you didn’t. She wanted you as her daughter in law and no one else, so when  Elvis was done performing and giving attention to his fans and asked her if it was okay if he’d take you for a ride, she nearly threw you and her son in his purple El Dorado.

Elvis was worried for a second, but she told him to stop worrying and Vernon was perfectly okay driving the pink Cadillac- after all, it was kinda her car, even though she didn’t drive it herself.

Neither Gladys or you seemed to care about the friends you brought to the event and were now kind of stranded in Tupelo and Elvis didn’t really think about it either as he started the engine of the car.

“Thank you, Lovie. Tell Mr. Presley to drive safely!” you told her as you hung out the open window and gave her a quick hug and kissed her cheek, quickly getting back in the car again- Elvis drove off with a wave and you didn’t stop waving until Gladys was completely out of sight.

Pulling the silk scarf Gladys had given you from your neck, you looked at the small bite marks through the rearview mirror.

“Here,” Elvis spoke up as he drove off the fairgrounds, avoiding the festivities downtown as he turned the other way. He bit into his thumb, breaking enough skin to draw some blood- you knew his blood was healing, but you had never needed it before. Despite not needing the substance to survive nor did it taste as good to you as it did to him, you being the one taking his blood now was kind of turning you on all over again. “Quick, honey,” he laughed softly as he noticed his skin healing up again.

Before it could, you quickly grabbed his hand and sucked his thumb in between your lips. His fingers clenched around the steering wheel when he felt you sucking on the digit, tongue lapping around it, your eyes boring into his. “O-Oh.. s-shit,” he stammered softly, his body immediately responding to your actions and the way you were looking at him, blood rushing to his cock.

You giggled softly as you released his thumb with a soft ‘pop’ and placed a quick kiss on the back of his hand before dropping it in his lap. Looking at your neck in the mirror again, you were fascinated by the sight of the marks disappearing like they had never been there in the first place.

“Where are we going?” you asked as you crawled closer to him, resisting the urge to plant yourself in his lap. He bit his lip as his eyes fluttered closed for a few seconds when you ran your fingers through his hair and dragged your nails down the back of his neck- all of his senses were on high alert right now.

He could hear your steady heartbeat, the traffic outside, the radio playing softly in the background. He could hear, see and smell everything but the scent of your growing arousal was the most dominant one and it was driving him insane.

He needed to find a parking spot and fast.

“I-I don’t know… off this road.. a-anywhere we can be alone,”

It was all you needed to know to mark your territory in his neck, having fun with creating hickeys and seeing them heal up before you even had the chance to admire them.

 

Luckily, Elvis knew his way around Tupelo. This morning, the original plan had been to hang around the fairgrounds after the shows as far as that was possible and then make the drive back to Memphis but both you and Elvis were too impatient to make the nearly two hour drive right now.

The vampire found an empty parking lot near the highway where he sloppily parked the Cadillac and as soon as he killed the engine, you were straddling him and kissing him hard. Right now, you did not care at all if you looked desperate or not, because you were. You had been painfully turned on the second he bit you earlier today and you waited long enough- your chance to have him was being presented right in front of your nose and you were going to grab onto it with both hands.

Elvis sure as hell didn’t mind either- he had been waiting for this moment ever since hormones came out to play during his teenage years.

“Damnit,” he mumbled against your lips with a grin on his face, his hands fumbling with the few buttons of your pants. “Why didn’t ya wear a dress today?” he teased, not really caring what you wore or whatsoever. He’d have the fabric off soon anyways and to him, you looked good in anything. But inside the tight space of the car, it would’ve made his job a bit more easier.

Pulling back from the kiss, you laughed and playfully swatted his hands away to flick open the buttons. He grabbed onto your hips and swiftly put you on your back on the front seat of the car- his movements were so quick that there was no room or time for clumsiness. He seemed confident in himself as he pulled your zipper down and tugged your pants down your thighs after you kicked off the flats you were wearing, but still there was that sense of nervousness coming from the both of you.

You weren’t worried about the fact that you were about to have sex with a vampire, but this was your best friend. The boy you had a crush on since you were a young girl- the boy who gave you your first kiss during a game of spin the bottle, the boy who stood up for you against everyone and everything. Your relationship could either change for better or for worse, but with the way he was looking up at you while kissing his way down your leg and to your thigh, he got you too distracted to let the worries take over your mind.

Elvis didn’t waste time and pulled your panties down, dropping them somewhere on the floor as he placed his flat hands against the back of your thighs, spreading your legs- the sight of you being so exposed in front of his face and the scent of your arousal filling his nostrils so deliciously made him dig his thumbs in your thighs and thrust his hips forward against the seat to create some friction. Despite the sun having set a few hours ago and the only light you had shining in the car came from a lamppost on the other side of the parking lot, he could see you clear as crystal and he found it hard to look away.

Your pussy was quite literally glistening because you were so wet- he was mesmerized.

“How long are you gonna stare at it?” you teased as you raised yourself on your elbows, getting a better view of having him settled in between your legs.

His eyes met yours as he laughed, releasing tension on one of your thighs to move his hand down and gather some of your slick on his digits as he ran them through your folds, making you gasp softly. “Sorry, honey- it’s just so… pretty,”

Your cheeks heated up at the odd compliment- you weren’t a virgin and had seen other guys in this position, although not in a car, but none of them had ever said anything like that. And none of them had ever admired your most sensitive body part as if it was a piece of fine art.

“Been waitin’ too long to see it,” he whispered loud enough for you to hear through the sound of your heart thumping faster in your ears- a soft moan rolled off your tongue as his thumb rubbed small, slow circles on your clit. Your hips automatically moved along to the rhythm of his fingertips and your hand moved down in his hair as he suddenly slipped in two fingers at the same time.

He knew you weren’t a virgin, so he knew you could take it.

“Elvis, please..” you whined softly, trying to push his face closer to where you wanted him most, but it was like trying to move a mountain- he didn’t even move a muscle.

“Impatient little thing,”

You could see by the way he was smirking that he wasn’t done teasing. It took him a lot of restraint to hold himself back, but he wanted to see how far he could take it. He kissed you before, but the both of you had never gone this far- he didn’t know what you were into and what you were definitely not into, but he wanted to find out on his own. He let you tug on his hair all you wanted as he kissed the inside of your thigh, rolling his tongue against your heated skin while pushing his fingers deeper inside of you- he pulled them back, but just as you were about to complain, he sunk them right back in, pressing the palm of his hand against your clit. As he rubbed it against the sensitive nub while bending the tip of his fingers inside of you, you let out a moaned curse.

He brought himself up, squeezing you in between his body and the front seat, his lips meeting yours. You immediately welcomed his tongue into your mouth, roaming your hands down his chest and to the buttons of his blouse. He deepened the kiss as he groaned, picking up the pace of his fingers which he pumped in and out of you as you easily flicked open all the buttons of his shirt and ran your hands up his chest. His skin was warm due to the velvet fabric he was wearing and it was just as soft as well- the sound of him moaning in the kiss when your nails caressed his nipples made your muscles tighten around his digits.

When you moved your hands down to tug his pants down his thighs and your hands disappeared in his boxershorts, he bit your lower lip harshly. Letting out a high pitched moan, you wrapped your hand around his cock and squeezed it softly in response- he sucked your lip into his mouth, tasting the blood he had drawn.

“Elvis,” you moaned breathlessly as he released your lip, swiping his tongue over it to get the last drip of blood. “Bite me,”

He moaned softly as he pressed his forehead against yours, his lips ghosting over yours- your hand picked up pace, thumb swirling around his tip to lace it with some of his pre-cum, and so did his fingers.

“W-wanna fuck while doin’ it,” he whispered as he flicked his tongue against your lips teasingly, making you laugh softly and nod.

Despite having all the time in the world, your body was screaming, yearning, for him- if you wouldn’t have him now, the world might just come to an end.

 

The stretch of Elvis filling you up as you sank down onto him left you gasping and whining, nails digging into his shoulders which you were holding onto for dear life.

Elvis wasn’t doing much better himself- he hadn’t slept with a lot of people after turning into a vampire. He was already in love with you before that and due to his heightened emotions, those feelings grew tenfold in intensity. Sure, he dated a few girls and did some fooling around now and then but they weren’t you. It just wasn’t the same. So, the feeling of your warm tightness trapping him inside of you right now had him throwing his head back on the seat and his hands gripping onto your hips, guiding your slow and gentle thrusts.

He wouldn’t be able to last long if you’d go any faster.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck,” he cursed, rolling his head around to look at you through hooded lids. “You feel so good, Y/N- fuck,”

You laughed softly, your confidence growing at his words. You were slowly but surely getting used to the feeling of having him inside of you and wanted to pick up the pace, but he moaned deeply and held onto your hips firmer, preventing you from doing so.

“S-Slowly, slowly,” he warned, his cheeks a little flushed. You smiled at him and nodded, bringing your hands into your hair and moving it over your shoulder- he licked his lips at the exposed skin of your neck. You were curious and wanted to find out if you’d experience it in the same way you did earlier today- as he wrapped his arms around your waist, trapping you against his chest, and kissed your neck, it was like even that felt way more intense than before.

Your hands found their way back into his hair and you whined as you felt the sharp pain of his fangs penetrating your skin but as he tightened his grip around you, the pain was long gone. All you felt was pleasure and this was nothing compared to this afternoon- it felt so much better. You took advantage of his hands not being on your hips anymore, thrusting onto him a little firmer- it took him slightly by surprise and he groaned deeply against your skin, some blood slipping out from between his lips and down your collarbones.

He took less than before and you had eaten a proper meal in between his first and second show, so your energy didn’t fade as fast. The feeling of him pulling his fangs out of your flesh was still a strange one that made you shiver and the spot he just bit stung, but as he lapped his tongue over the bite marks, the uncomfortable hint of pain was gone as soon as it came.

Elvis pulled his head out of your neck and you cupped his face, staining your thumb with the blood that was on his lips before letting him suck on the digit. The sight made your muscles clench around his length tightly and he groaned, teasingly but softly biting your thumb before you pulled it out of his mouth. You didn’t know what came over you as you leaned in and licked up some of your own blood that dripped down his chin before kissing him- Elvis sure as hell wasn’t complaining, eagerly and sloppily kissing you back.

“Faster?” you questioned hopefully in between kisses, twirling your hips around teasingly.

Elvis laughed softly, loosening his arms around you and moving his hands down to your ass, harshly squeezing it. “Fuck yes, faster, baby- fuck me,”

You’d never expected Elvis to be a submissive type during sex, but it awakened a whole new side inside of yourself. Having him tell you to fuck him was something you wouldn’t forget about any time soon.

But unlike Elvis, you weren’t much of a teaser and gave him what he asked for right away.

 

Elvis wasn’t even sure if he was on this planet anymore. This was better than any kind of blood he’d ever tasted, better than the music settling in his bones when he was on stage- this was goddamn euphoric.

The entire car was shaking and rumbling with how fast and hard you were riding him, the fog on the windows hard evidence to people driving by that unholy things were being done in the vehicle, but he couldn’t get himself to care one bit.

He could barely think straight, didn’t even know where to put his hands anymore- they went from running through his hair, to squeezing your breasts which were on full display because he had hastily taken your top off minutes earlier, and squeezing at your thighs. The moans that left you were like music to his ears, but to you, his were even better.

He had completely put down his guard, moaning and whining desperately, calling out your name like a prayer. It got you more motivated than you’d ever been during sex with anyone else and you were pretty sure your thighs were going to feel like jelly after this, but you didn’t want to stop. You couldn’t stop, not with him looking this pretty and vulnerable underneath you- you just wished you had more lighting to admire him in all his glory.

“God, I’m so c-cl.. close,” he grunted, his eyes rolling in the back of his head as you placed your hands behind you on his knees, arching your back to give him a priceless view of your body. He could barely keep his eyes open, but he wasn’t going to miss out on a view like that. “Yes, baby- just like that, feels d-damn good. Fuck, fuck- where’d ya learn that?!”

You laughed softly through your moans at his words, repeating the action of raising your hips until his cock threatened to leave your tightness altogether before firmly sinking back down onto him. It was obvious to you in that moment that the girls Elvis had been with before weren’t as bold as you and this only made you feel more confident, a little smug even.

“You wanna cum inside me, baby?”

Elvis’ jaw clenched at that- never had any girl called him ‘baby’ like that. Never had any girl asked him if he wanted to cum inside of her. But your question sure didn’t fall on deaf ears- he liked having you on top, but he wanted you underneath him when he’d fill you up. Grabbing your hips, he nearly knocked the wind out of your lungs as he changed the position to missionary.

You didn’t mind the change all too much- it gave your legs a little time to rest as you wrapped them loosely around his waist and with the way he was pounding into you in a pace that didn’t even seem or feel human, hitting your spot with every thrust, it had you screaming nearly as loud as the girls at the front row of his shows.

Now his name was rolling off your tongue in a mantra, nails clawing at his biceps desperately as tears stung in your eyes. You couldn’t even announce your climax if you wanted to, because it hit you in the face like a ton of bricks, making you arch your back and spasm so hard that Elvis had to place his hand on your stomach, keeping you in place as he chased his own orgasm.

You were seeing stars, feeling slightly light headed, but you couldn’t keep your eyes off your best friend as he let out a deep moan, followed by a string of profanities. His fingers were digging in your flesh so harshly you wouldn’t be surprised he was bruising you, but you were too out of your mind to comment on it or let it bother you.

His thrusts slowed down, hips stuttering forward as he threw his head back in his neck and grabbed onto your hips to prevent you from moving away. Not that you were planning to, despite starting to feel sensitive.

You were trying to get your breathing under control, whining softly as he pulled out of you and shoved his fingers inside of you again, stopping his cum from leaking onto the seat. You weren’t worried, knowing he wasn’t able to procreate anymore- you welcomed his lips as he softly pressed them onto yours, letting out a deep, content sigh in the kiss.

 

“We should probably go back to pick up the others,” you whispered against his lips with a soft laugh and he pulled back with a grin, slowly pulling his fingers out of you.

“They’ll find their way back,” he shrugged, going in for another kiss but you placed a finger against his lips, making him sigh and lower his head on your chest, snuggling up to you.

“It’s a two hour drive, El- we really can’t do that. Although Nick kinda deserves to be stranded,” you mumbled, making the male on top of you vibrate with laughter. “Also, I’m kinda in the mood for cotton candy,”

Raising his head, he gave you a goofy frown of his eyebrows and laughed as he shook his head. Then a grin spread across his face and he leaned in closer, kissing his way to your neck along your jawline. “You’re sweeter than cotton candy, beautiful,”

You winced softly as you felt his tongue lap at the bite marks in your neck, the pleasure not there to distract you from the pain this time. He immediately pulled out of your neck with apologetic eyes, biting the palm of his hand before holding it out to you- not feeling as turned on and freaky as before anymore, his blood tasted rather peculiar, but it did make the uncomfortable pain and bite marks in your neck disappear.

“Five more minutes,” you told him as you wiped some blood off your mouth with the back of your hand, wrapping your arms around him to bring him back in your embrace. “Then we’ll pick up the strays,”

He laughed at your words, nodding as he snuggled his face in your neck. He kept his fangs to himself this time, but he couldn’t stop himself from kissing and licking the dried blood off your skin, the both of you hugging each other so hard you could barely breathe.

“I love you,” he blurted out in a whisper.

When you didn’t say anything back, panic started to creep into his veins and he slowly raised his head to look down at you. He caressed a strand of hair out of your face, about to apologize or maybe even tell you you shouldn’t feel obligated to say it back, but you beat him to it.

“I love you too, Elvis,” you told him with a smile tugging at your lips. He let out a soft, relieved sigh and kissed you again- eagerly, firmly, passionately.

The strays could wait a little longer than five minutes.

taglist: @breadsquash @generoustreemystic @woundmetender @returntoelvis @prayerstopresley @ab4eva @marriedtopresley @steph-speaks @wonka-gifs @notstefaniepresley @ellie-24 @dollksj @webbedwebs @re3kin @wivette @eliseinmemphis @18lkpeters @rosepresley @septembersghost @angelborn-1998

[soullesserror]

Not ur DMs but oh man!! Do I have a character analysis to dump upon you. I’m not gonna do a ton of editing, but I do wish to share.

Oh bro, Q!Foolish is so cool as a character. Him and BBH are literally both insane in the exact same way, but with such different views on morality. It results in wildly different ideas of themselves and the world around them!

Foolish is selfish and he knows it, but he also loves his family dearly. He will do anything to protect the people he cares about even though that circle is pretty small. Anyone outside the circle is fair game tho. (BBH is an exception because he’s trusted, but Foolish and him love endangering each other for sport). By “fair game,” I mean Foolish will actively throw anyone under the bus just because he feels like it. Honestly doesn’t even have to be for any particular gain. He will absolutely do things just to see what happens. He acts like a morally grey immortal who doesn’t quite understand how normal people think anymore.

At the same time, a lot of his actions do have motives. A big part of his character is that Foolish just wants rare/unique items and will do nearly anything (including endanger others) to get them. He sees the island as a game to win, which makes it easy to not care about consequences for himself and others. He’s not malicious and he doesn’t seek to cause others pain, but will still do things knowing full well they could harm. He also fully accepts other people seeking retribution for his actions, because he’s got a “fair is fair” type mentality. He will simply deal with whatever consequences float his way for his actions.

Because Foolish is aware of his selfishness, he will never try and take a moral high ground. He doesn’t think he’s a morally just person, and he doesn’t care to be. He cares about chaos for the sake of fun, doing things to get him stuff, and protecting those he loves.

(Also, Foolish & Jaiden as people are both the embodiment of chaotic neutral. Everything they do together is fun as Jaiden enables the hell out of any idea Foolish has. Morality be damned, they just wanna be menaces for the sake of it.)

Also also, Foolish is actually smarter than he appears and presents himself. He’s actually a strategist at heart, but will only use it for his own personal gain and often under the table lol. He’s silly, but he uses that to play all fields and knows how to keep things secret. His behavior will often trick others into underestimating him, but unfortunately also leads to people fundamentally not understanding him or his motives.

Idk,, I stay spinning these Minecraft people in my brain like a microwave lol. I could probably give similar level analysis on a handful of my other main QSMP people, but yeah. Foolish is especially cool to me because people who have zero illusion about being morally fucked by normal standards are soooo interesting! It’s a very atypical way to aproach the world not giving a shit about morality while also being zero percent malicious. His /goal/ isn’t ever to hurt people for the sake of it, he’s just a means to an end kind of guy. He’s neat because about him and his explanation for his actions tends to embody a genuine sense of neutrality in the most insane way possible.

god this is so cool

I really want to watch more of Foolish’s vods to really get a grasp of him and I can’t really add onto this much at all but oh anon I appreciate so much. Thank you for this meal of a character analysis served on a silver platter

I think the type of morally grey Foolish is, is by the far the most fun to me. It’s that loyalty to these select few people and that loyalty will not change unless extreme circumstances causes it to. So so interesting. And also like. Him being friends with others but if given the popular he will screw them over? That’s hilarious. Good for him, doing things for the bit and for his own personal gain. I wouldn’t, probably, but selfish characters are soooooo… rotating around inside my head.

[let-tyrants-fear]

Percy Jackson Careers

I'm tired of everyone writing Percy as a marine biologist, so I've compiled a list of jobs he would actually have as an adult.

Teacher. Specifically a middle school Latin teacher, modeled after his year in Chiron/Mr. Brunner’s class. Maybe he just does it because he likes kids and likes teaching, maybe he works as like a long-term sub to get into schools where they think there are half-bloods. I don’t know, but I could totally see him as a teacher in some capacity, and I think he would work really hard to make sure that none of his students feel the way he did in school.

Underwater archaeologist. This is a real thing. There are a lot of shipwrecks that are accessible and provide valuable resources, as well as a lot of ancient sites that are now underwater as a result of shifting coastlines and changes in sea level. @phykios has a great post about Percy as an underwater archaeologist here.

Plumber. Because he is after all Supreme Lord of the Bathroom.

Electrician. Because he loves to mess with the gods. He becomes an electrician as a 'fuck you' gesture to Zeus.

Demigod Union Rep. I know we all joke about how Percy ‘pay your damn child support’ Jackson essentially appointed himself as the demigod union rep at the end of The Last Olympian, but what if they made that official? He takes a class on Ancient & Immortal Laws in college, and now demigods call him in whenever they’re having issues with a god. They all pay “union dues” so he can collect a salary of sorts.

Aquarium worker. There are several possible routes Percy could take to work in an aquarium. I've listed a few ideas below.

Presenter/Educator. Like, the guy who does the little shows for kids and shows all the school groups around. Percy is great with kids, and I think he’d have so much fun presenting, but also just interacting with kids and families visiting the aquarium.

Aquarist. This is apparently a real word for a person who takes care of fish, which my sister discovered by googling 'zookeeper but aquarium.' Anyway, Percy would be the person who cleans their tanks and sets their diets and provides enrichment, etc. Also, accredited aquariums would have a research branch to study fish and observe behavior, and Percy would be super helpful because he could just. Ask the fish.

Social media manager. He would have so much fun posting memes and fun facts on the aquarium's social media accounts, and I think his sarcasm would make him a huge hit on the internet, a la Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation. Plus, I think he would spread fish gossip all over Twitter.

If you have any more, please feel free to add them!

[unlikely-gravestones]

Ok so lets talk about that one scene in The Sound of Her wings, when Hob and Dream meetup in 1789. Specifically, when Johanna Constantine orders her men to slit the throats of Hob and Dream. I was inspired directly after seeing @avelera​ ‘s post (here) and watching the scene again to fact check myself as i screamed in the tags. (Before i even get to the fight, can we take a moment to appreciate when Hob looks at the drawing done of them in 1689 and goes “Is that meant to be me?...Oh i look terrible...” and then tips his head to Dream and says “You look worse :)”. I loved that he joked with him, that he fully went “i look horrible- ur worse tho hehe” and you KNOW he’s saying it in jest. Wonderful.) Its the way Hob attacked the man going after Dream first. He threw his tea at the man in front of his friend, first and foremost stalling His Stranger’s attacker, and then smashed the teacup over the guy in front of him and smacked him in to the table. Dream doesn’t even move- not that i imagine one such as he would need to fear any mortal wound from a human, but Hob doesn’t know this. Hob doesn’t know who or what Dream is, he doesn’t even know his name, so Hob defends- he attacks first, attacks for him. The fight literally goes: Hob throws tea at Dream’s attacker >> Hob smashes teacup on his own attacker and knocks him out against the table >> Hob smacks Dream’s attacker upside the head when the man tries to stab his friend. Morpheus doesn’t move at all, and he doesn’t need to. Not until Johanna has a knife pointed at Hob’s face. And as you can see here:

Hob is 100% ready to get stabbed in the face. He’s immortal, it’ll heal. It won’t be fun, but it won’t stop him from eliminating the threat. Its only then that Dream intervenes, says “Wait,” and stands up to incapacitate Johanna with his sand. Dream would know as well as Hob that no mortal wound could kill him, yet the idea of Hob being injured is unpleasant nonetheless. This idea is later reinforced when Dream says that Hob might not be able to die, but he can be captured and hurt- foreshadowing, for sure, but it also tells us a bit about what Dream thinks of. Before he says that to Hob, however, there is the Scene of the Hour; the ear pull. After Dream so tenderly says “You need not have come to my defence...”, Hob responds with a delighted “Clearly...Still, i didn’t want to be drinking alone here in 100 years time.” (this line also supports the fact that Hob has no idea who Dream is or what he’s capable of, thus defending him seems the obvious choice) And what does Hob do as he says this?

The ear pull. My man fully played with his ear with THAT expression. If his hair was untied, i bet you $100 he would have been twirling it around his damn finger. And what was this met with?

Dream looking at him like this. This about concludes my ramble but by god was there so much to unpack here. I urge you to go back and re-watch this ep (as if anyone needs any convincing to re-watch this show) and just really drink in the details.