#these movies make me sad from their very premise. because they could have introduced us to mobius but instead they gave us earth

[maxwell-grant]

What are your thoughts on Jekyll/Hyde and his archetype of the human periodically changing into a monster ?

Jekyll & Hyde was the 2nd horror story I read following Frankenstein, I got it off the same library and it always stuck very strongly with me even before I got into horror in general. I even dressed up as Jekyll/Hyde as a kid for a school fair by shredding a lab coat on one side and asking my sister to make-up claw gashes on my exposed arm and paint half of my face, although in hindsight I think I ended up looking more like Doctor Two-Face than Jekyll/Hyde, but I was 12 and didn't have any Victorian clothing to use so I had to make do. The first film project I tried doing at film school was intended to be a modern take on Jekyll & Hyde, and I didn't get much farther than a couple of discarded scripts

Much like Frankenstein, Mr Hyde as a character and a story is something that's kind of baked into everything I do artistically. And it's not just me, as even in pop culture itself, none of us can escape Mr Hyde. I would go so far as to argue Mr Hyde may be the single most significant character created by victorian fiction, if only by the sheer impact and legacy the character's had.

(Fan-art by guilhermefranco)

Part of what makes Mr Hyde such a powerful and lasting icon of pop culture is that the very premise of the book invites a personal reading that's gonna vary from person to person. Because everyone's familiar with the basic twist of the story, that it's a conflict of duality, of the good and evil sides, but everyone has a more personal idea of what those entail. Some people make the story more about class. A lot of readings laser-focus on sex and lust as the driving force, and there's also a lot of readings of Mr Hyde that tackle it to explore a more gendered perspective, and so forth.

I don't particularly take much notice of the Jekyll & Hyde adaptations partially because the novel's premise and themes have become baked so throughly into pop culture and explored in so many different and interesting ways, that I'm not particularly starving for good Jekyll & Hyde adaptations the way I am for Dracula and Frankenstein. The Fredric March film in particular is one that orbits my head less because of the film itself (although I do recommend it), but because of one specific scene, and that's when Jekyll first transforms into Hyde on screen.

Out of all the things they could have shown him doing right that second, they instead took the time to show him enjoying the rain.

Just Hyde taking off his hat and letting it all cascade on his face with this sheer enthusiasm like he's never been to the rain before, never enjoyed it before, and now that he's free from being Jekyll, he gets to enjoy life like he never has before. It's such an oddly humanizing moment to put amidst a horror movie, in the scene where you're ostensibly introducing the monster to the audience, and it makes such a stark contrast to the rest of the film where Hyde is completely irredeemable, but I think it's that contrast that makes the film's take on Hyde work so well even with it's diverging from the source material, even if I don't particularly like in general interpretations of Hyde that are focused on a sexual aspect.

Because one, it understands that Jekyll was fundamentally a self-serving coward and not a paragon of goodness, and two, it also understands one of the things that makes Hyde scary: He wants what all of us want, to live and be happy. He's happy when he leaves the lab and dances around in the rain like a giddy child, he's happy when he goes to places Jekyll couldn't dream of showing up, he's happy as a showgirl-abusing sexual predator. Hyde is all wants, all the time, and there's not that much difference between his wants, his domineering possessiveness, and the likes exhibited by Muriel's father and Jekyll's own within the very same film, which also works to emphasize one of the other ideas of the original story, that Edward Hyde doesn't come from nowhere. That no monster is closer to humanity than Mr Hyde, because he is us. He is the thing that Jekyll refused to take responsability for until it was too late.

(Art by LorenzoMastroianni)

While many of the ideas that defined Mr Hyde had already been explored in pop culture beforehand, Hyde popularized and redefined many of them in particular by modernizing the idea. He was the werewolf, the doppelganger, The Player On The Other Side, except he came from within. He was not transformed by circumstance, he made himself that way, and the elixir merely brought out something already inside his soul. To acknowledge that he's there is to acknowledge that he is you, and to not do that is to either lose to him, or perish. Hyde was there to address both the rot settling in Victorian society as well as grappling concerns over Darwinian heritage, of the realization that man has always had the beast inside of him (it's no accident that Hyde's main method of murder is by clubbing people to death with his cane like a caveman).

I've already argued on my post about Tarzan that the Wild Man archetype, beginning with Enkidu of The Epic of Gilgamesh, is the in-between man and beast, between superhero and monster, and that Mr Hyde is an essential component of the superhero's trajectory, as the creature split in between. That stories about dual personalities, doppelgangers, the duality of the soul, the hero with a day job and an after dark career, you can pinpoint Hyde as a turning point in how all of these solidified gradually in pop culture. And I've argued otherwise that The Punisher, for all that his image and narrative points otherwise, is ultimately just as much of a superhero as the rest of them, even if no one wants to admit it, drawing a parallel between The Punisher and Mr Hyde. And he's far from the only modern character that can invite this kind of parallel.

The idea of a regular person periodically or permanently transforming into, or revealing itself to be, something extraordinary and fantastic and scary, grappling with the divide it causes in their soul, and questions whether it's a new development or merely the truest parts of themselves coming to light at last, and the effects this transformation has for good and bad alike. The idea of a potent, dangerous, unpredictable enemy who ultimately is you, or at least a facet of you and what you can do. That these are bound to destroy each other if not reconciled with or overcome.

You know what are my thoughts on the archetype of "human periodically changing into a monster" are? Look around you and you're gonna see the myriad ways The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde's themes have manifested in the century and a half since the story's release. Why it shouldn't be any surprise whatsoever that Mr Hyde has become such an integral part of pop culture, in it's heroes and monsters alike. Why we can never escape Mr Hyde, just as Jekyll never could.

It is Nixon himself who represents that dark, venal and incurably violent side of the American character that almost every country in the world has learned to fear and despise. Our Barbie-doll president, with his Barbie-doll wife and his boxful of Barbie-doll children is also America's answer to the monstrous Mr. Hyde.

He speaks for the Werewolf in us; the bully, the predatory shyster who turns into something unspeakable, full of claws and bleeding string-warts on nights when the moon comes too close… - Hunter S. Thompson

There is a scene in the movie Pulp Fiction that explains almost every terrible thing happening in the news today. And it's not the scene where Ving Rhames shoots that guy's dick off. It's the part where the hit man played by John Travolta is talking about how somebody vandalized his car, and says this:

"Boy, I wish I could've caught him doing it. I'd have given anything to catch that asshole doing it. It'd been worth him doing it, just so I could've caught him doing it."

That last sentence is something everyone should understand about mankind. After all, the statement is completely illogical -- revenge is supposed to be about righting a wrong. But he wants to be wronged, specifically so he'll have an excuse to get revenge. We all do.

Why else would we love a good revenge movie? We sit in a theater and watch Liam Neeson's daughter get kidnapped. We're not sad about it, because we know he's a badass and he finally has permission to be awesome. Not a single person in that theater was rooting for it to all be an innocent misunderstanding. We wanted Liam to be wronged, because we wanted to see him kick ass. It's why so many people walk around with vigilante fantasies in their heads.

Long, long ago, the people in charge figured out that the easiest and most reliable way to bind a society together was by controlling and channeling our hate addiction. That's the reason why seeing hurricane wreckage on the news makes us mumble "That's sad" and maybe donate a few bucks to the Red Cross hurricane fund, while 9/11 sends us into a decade-long trillion-dollar rage that leaves the Middle East in flames.

The former was caused by wind; the latter was caused by monsters. The former makes us kind of bummed out; the latter gets us high.

It's easy to blame the news media for pumping us full of stories of mass shootings and kidnapped children, but that's stopping one step short of the answer: The media just gives us what we want. And what we want is to think we're beset on all sides by monsters.

The really popular stories will always feature monsters that are as different from us as possible. Think about Star Wars -- what real shithead has ever referred to himself as being on "the dark side"? In Harry Potter and countless fantasy universes, you have wizards working in "black magic" and the "dark arts." Can you imagine a scientist developing some technology for chemical weapons or invasive advertising openly thinking of what he does as "dark science"? Can you imagine a real world leader naming his headquarters "The Death Star" or "Mount Doom"?

Of course not. But we need to believe that evil people know they're evil, or else that would open the door to the fact that we might be evil without knowing it. I mean, sure, maybe we've bought chocolate that was made using child slaves or driven cars that poisoned the air, but we didn't do it to be evil -- we were simply doing whatever we felt like and ignoring the consequences. Not like Hitler and the bankers who ruined the economy and those people who burned the kittens -- they wake up every day intentionally dreaming up new evils to create. It's not like Hitler actually thought he was saving the world.

So no matter how many times you vote to cut food stamps and then use the money to buy a boat, you could still be way worse. You could, after all, be one of those murdering / lazy / ignorant / greedy / oppressive monsters that you know the world is full of, and that only your awesome moral code prevents you from turning into at any moment. And those monsters are out there.

They have to be. Because otherwise, we're the monsters - 5 Reasons Humanity Desperately Wants Monsters To Be Real, by Jason Pargin

(Two-Face sequence comes from the end of Batman Annual #14: Eye of the Beholder)

For good or bad, Hyde has become omnipresent. He's a part of our superheroes, he's a part of our supervillains, he's in our monsters. He lives and prattles in our ears, sometimes we need him to survive, and sometimes we become Hyde even when we don't need to, because our survival instincts or base cruelties or desperation brings out the worst in us. Sometimes we can beat him, and sometimes he's not that bad. Sometimes we do need to appease him and listen to what he says, about us and the world around us. And sometimes we need to do so specifically to prove him wrong and beat him again.

But he never, ever goes away, as he so accurately declares in the musical

Do you really think That I would ever let you go...

Do you think I'd ever set you free?

If you do, I'm sad to say It simply isn't so

You will never get away FROM MEEEEEE

(Art by Akreon on Artstation)

[pair-annoyed]

Anime I Watched This Fall

My first semester of college is officially over and the December holidays are upon us! I hoped to make one of these posts sooner, but I have been incredibly busy with schoolwork. Now that things have slowed down, let’s take sometime to reflect on things I’ve watched. 

These anime are listed in chronological order and encompass everything I’ve watched from 9/1/2020 - 12/15/2020

Like always, they will be rated on a 1-10 scale; 1 meaning complete garbage, 10 meaning masterpiece. I will offer my thoughts on what I did/didn’t like about each show!

1. The God of High School - 6/10 

Despite the stellar animation from MAPPA and my high expectations, I was really disappointed by how this series was treated. Most of the story’s crucial elements were handled poorly. I finished this series feeling more confused about the plot than when I first began. The power system is really cool, but poorly explained. More time should have been spent on exposition and world building for this series, instead the fights were given the most screen time. 

2.  Doukyuusei - 7/10 

I really liked the style of Doukyuusei. Granted, this was another movie I chose to watch primarily because of the hype surrounding it. The dynamic between Kusakabe and Sajou is an interesting one, and I also enjoy how the movies different acts were separated by the seasons. However, there's nothing that really sets Doukyuusei apart from other romance movies, its a little generic. Still, I enjoyed it nonetheless. 

3.  Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu 2nd Season - 8/10 

My opinions on Re:Zero’s second season are biased. This was, by far, the sequel I was most hyped for during the summer/fall anime season. I was so happy to see the story’s continuation and I’m looking forward to the season’s second part coming sometime in January. Re:Zero is one of my all time favorite series because of the way it handles it characters and power dynamics. I also really enjoy the show’s psychological aspects. If you haven’t already, give Re:Zero a try! 

4. Saint☆Oniisan (Movie + OVA) - 8/10

This was a wonderful comedy. I wasn’t sure how the subject of Jesus and Buddha living together would be tackled, but it was handled wonderfully. I was laughing for pretty much the entire movie. I love the art style and little references to both Buddhism and Christianity, plus the incorporation of Japanese culture. Saint Oniisan is a bright comedy, with two eccentric main characters. If you like a show that doesn’t take itself too seriously, and need a good laugh, I can’t recommend this more.

5. Clannad: After Story - 10/10 

Never, while watching anime, did I cry as much as I did while watching Clannad: After Story. I didn’t realize how much I related to Okazaki until I saw him grow up in After Story. I was left sobbing, especially after episode 18. I still, to this day, cannot listen to the Dango song without tearing up. The original Clannad is nothing special, but the continuation of its story its something heartfelt, emotional, and down-to-earth. I love Kyoto Animation with all my heart, and Clannad made me appreciate everything the studio has done just a little bit more. Thank you Clannad, for reminding me about the kind of person I strive to be. 

6. Nakitai Watashi wa Neko wo Kaburu - 5.5/10

The art in A Whisker Away was beautiful. The story itself, however, is nothing too enjoyable. I found it difficult to like our protagonist or her love interest. Nothing about this movie is inherently memorable. The emotional climax came far too early which made the second half of the film seem long and drawn out.  All in all, the movie has a wonderful concept, I just believe it could have been so much more emotional than it was. When I watch a move, I like to empathize with the characters. It’s difficult to do when the characters aren’t given the proper exposition to be empathized with. 

7.  Shikioriori - 6/10

This is less of a movie and more of a collection of short stories. Flavors of Youth is something you shouldn’t watch on an empty stomach, all of the food looks incredible. The same cannot beside for the rest of this feature. The stories themselves seems heavily clichéd. Much like A Whisker Away, the initial premise is intriguing, but the execution results in something that comes across as trying too hard and carries no emotional weight with the viewer. If you plan on watching, pay more attention to the artwork and animation than the actual plot. You won’t be missing anything. 

8. Vinland Saga - 7/10

Vinland Saga helped me get out of the rut that Clannad: After Story. Not only does this show have a great story, its action packed with lots of interesting fights. I especially enjoyed all the Nordic history embedded within the show. Its really unlike any of the other historical anime I’ve watched. I will say, it’s gory. But, compared to all the other things I watched this time around, I finished this series the quickest. Its good, its graphic, its fast paced! 

9.  Mononoke Hime - 7/10

It’s ironic considering how much anime I’ve watched that I have yet to watch all of the most classic Studio Ghibli films. Princess Mononoke is grittier than most other Ghibli films I’ve seen, but it’s message is positive and its characters are wonderful. I can’t really speak ill towards classics like these. I guess maybe my one complaint is that this movie could’ve been a faster pace. Other than that... I really enjoyed everything Princess Mononoke offered! I understand why it’s so popular.  

10. Howl no Ugoku Shiro - 8.5/10 

Can you believe it took me this long to finally watch Howl’s Moving Castle? Me neither!! This movie is so endearingly beautiful. I loved every second of it, from the characters to the soundtrack. So many iconic things come from just this one movie. I would like to take this time to thank my best friend for reminding me that Studio Ghibli films are wonderful! Thank you for watching this with me, I loved it! All in all, I regret not watching this sooner! 

11. Toradora! - 6.5/10 

Toradora took me a while to finish, just because I lost interest about halfway through. But, I powered through it, and ended up really enjoying the show! I’m not the biggest fan of the ending, but that’s just a personal preference. Somehow, this show also made me cry? I’m not entirely sure why because Toradora! is probably the thing farthest from sad. Apart from the show’s dull slice of life moments, it was super cute! A much needed light-hearted romance. 

12. New Initial D Movie: Legend 1 - 5/10 

Full disclosure, this is the only thing related to Initial D that I’ve ever watched. My band and I watched this expecting to hear some of that iconic Initial D music, itself all we got was a mildly confusing story about different types of cars. It was cliché and frankly a little boring. Although, I am still considering watching the original Initial D just so I can hear the music in the way it was original intended. I’ve got no other opinions on this movie. It’s best not to watch these movies without the context from the rest of the franchise.  

13.  Uchuu Patrol Luluco - 7.5/10

I didn’t really understand why people enjoy studio Trigger so much until I watched Space Patrol Luluco. I loved all the fun references to other studio Trigger works. I loved the humor, and I loved all the bright colors. The animation was extremely high energy, and the art style fits the show’s premise. Each episode was only 12 minutes long so it was a super quick binge. If you’re looking for something quick, light-hearted and comical, this is the perfect show to watch.

14. Orange - 7/10 

I owe a big thanks to a tumblr mutual for recommending this show to me! This holds the honor of making me cry by episode 3! I honestly did not expect the subject matter of this show to be as dark as it was. Usually when I see the genre ‘shoujo’ I do not associate it with a love story like that of Orange. The heavy subject matter made it a little too close to home for me, but I still really enjoyed this series. It reminds me off all the good times I had with my friends in high school, and of all the regrets I carry with myself to this day. 

15. 3-gatsu no Lion - 7.5/10 

March Comes in Like a Lion is another show that was a bit of a slow burn for me. Each episode left me feeling emotionally drained, so I had to take a lot of breaks while I was working on watching this series. Shaft, the studio behind this anime, holds a special place in my heart because I loved their work on the Monogatari Series. March Comes in Like a Lion is a little different. It’s driving force it is characters, and it was cathartic to watch our main character transform through the entire duration of the first season. I know the show’s second season is much better, so I’ll be starting that soon! 

16. Yojouhan Shinwa Taikei - 8/10 

I loved how artsy and smart The Tatami Galaxy is, but honestly I couldn’t watch too much at once cause it would hurt my head. I also couldn’t watch this show while I was tired because the speaking rate is much faster than typical anime. The Tatami Galaxy is so unique for its medium. I loved the different time loops and the crazy animation. The characters were fascinating. The dialogue, although very fast, it also fantastic. There’s an element of humor to this unique story telling, and I enjoyed ever minute of it! 

Currently Watching:

Hunter x Hunter - 6.5/10 (As of Episode 30)

I pride myself in having watched a lot of shounen anime, but I was reluctant to start Hunter x Hunter for years because I thought I would find it boring. I was oh so very wrong. Considering great shows like Naruto and Fairy Tail that fall under the same category, I expected Hunter x Hunter to be subpar in comparison. It gets a low score for two reasons. One, the power system was introduced a little too late and now I’m wondering if all the fights post episode 30 will involved nen in some way, shape, or form. Two, its still on hiatus. 

Two Cursed Additions For This List

Please to do not let these be representative of my anime taste. 

1.  Yarichin☆B*tch-bu - 4/10

I am a CLOWN for not knowing this was 18+. The only reason I watched this was to see why everyone was talking about the pink-haired boy with the glasses and tongue piecing. I know why now, and I regret it. This was a massive mistake on my part. But hey, at the least the art and ending song kinda slap? 

2. Euphoria (Dropped After 1 Episode) - 2/10

If you know what I’m talking about when I say Euphoria, I am so sorry. And no, I am not talking about the HBO series. Seriously, don’t google this. Don’t watch this. Don’t interact with anything related to this. You’re probably wondering, “Then why did you watch it?” I did not watch this willingly. You see, I have a very bad habit of starting anime and then taking months to finish them. I made an ultimatum with a friend, lost, and then was forced to watch this a punishment. Not a fun experience. I’m very glad there are no GIFs of this on tumblr...

[serendipitous-magic]

what's your writing process like? do you plot things out beforehand? or do you sort of write it as it comes? a mix of both?

Depends on what I'm writing!

In general I'm a planner. I can't write from a blank page, unless I'm just like... really really captivated by whatever I'm writing, which was what happened with the first chapters of both The Art of Living Your (Second) Life and The Partnership Plan.

a) In general, if it's a fanfiction I'm writing, I tend to build the plan as I write - meaning, oftentimes I'll be inspired to write the first chapter, and I'll write that with little idea what the rest of it will be. Or, even if I have an idea what the rest will be, it's more of a vague skeleton than a full plan. And then, as I continue to write, I think more about where the story is going and I continuously add to and refine my plan kind of alongside the actual writing. In this way, the plan grows at the same time that the actual chapters do - but because the chapters take significantly longer to write than planning does, the plan outpaces the "real" writing and I usually know the basic story arc from fairly early on. Then it's just a matter of fleshing it out, adding detail, writing down scenes I thought of, etc. And then when I get to that point in the actual writing, I have a framework in place already.

-_-_-

b) Sometimes for fanfic, I have a more complete plan upfront - although I use "complete" here to mean "from beginning to end," not "completely detailed." So, more like a full skeleton than a full body, if that makes sense. I did that with Roll for Strength. What usually happens is that my plan will look something like...

...

Chapter One

-Will suspects Mike has a girlfriend and is kind of put out about it but thinks he's over Mike so he tells himself he doesn't care

-Will walks in on Mike and his BF (name??) and has a crisis (they don't see Will, so Will knows about Mike but Mike doesn't know that Will knows)

-Will might get off to that later, guiltily? (Or move to chapter two)

Chapter Two

-Do Mike's POV to tell about how he ended up dating a guy, how he got very disillusioned with the world after canon events and got into a "fuck it, the rules don't matter and I hate them anyway" mentality, which eventually snowballed into him kind of realizing and accepting his sexuality earlier than usual fanon

-Also introduce BF (name??) in a scene

-Set time and place - season should set the mood if not already mentioned in Ch 1

-Maybe also do BF's POV briefly to introduce him?? Or leave that for later

...

Etc.

And that's the original skeleton plan. And then it gets expanded upon more and more and more as I continue to think about the story, sometimes even with full pages' worth of unbroken text blocks as I get inspired and start basically thought-vomiting an entire scene. So by the time I get around to actually writing it, it might look like the above, or it might be a few steps shy of an actual draft already, depending on how much I've thought about / worked on that part.

See #5 in this writing advice post to see what I mean about a "thought vomit" draft.

-_-_-

c) Here's the thing - the above was for fanfic, or for short stories, or stories that I'm just kind of having fun with.

For original stuff, I adhere much more tightly to the "rules," because the guidelines for original work (that you might try to publish in the actual publishing market) are much stricter - and for good reason! Fanfiction is a sandbox, and we're all invested in the characters and worlds and settings already. We're all reading and writing fanfic because we already love these characters and this world, and we just want to play in it.

It's a different situation with original novels that you hope to publish. The plot, pacing, tension, and story beats have to be much, much tighter and more polished. Because people reading original work have no prior reason to be invested in it or care what happens - that's work that you have to do. For fanfic, that work was done for you by the original thing. Not to mention, the publishing world is so absolutely choked with competition, and the emphasis lies so heavily on sales, that if your book isn't fucking top-tier compelling, no publisher or agent will take a second look at it. Which is kind of unfortunate, because there's value in slower, more relaxed, more reflective storytelling, too - it's just not what capitalism has decided to value, which is sad.

But anyway.

When writing an original thing, I basically need a full plan - beginning to end, covering all plot points. Not necessarily all the details, just all the plot points - I need a skeleton and I need connective tissue. The rest comes later. But to start, I need to know what happens, why, and how the characters get from event to event. I need to know the physical story events, the emotional beats, and how those things logically flow throughout the story.

Some people can write without this and it still turns into a compelling story, tight narrative, etc. I envy these people. I have all respect for these people. I cannot do this. If I write original work with no plan, and especially without at least like 50-75% of a plan, I end up with something slow, meandering, and kind of limp. No bueno.

So, I usually use a beat sheet.

What's a beat sheet?

It's a 15-beat plotting structure used by screenwriters. And, yeah, technically it's for movies / screenplays. But storytelling is storytelling. And it's highly flexible. (And my favorite professor ever taught it to me in college so you can pry it out of my cold dead hands.)

Google it. It's what I use to make sure my (original work) plots are tight, have momentum, have a satisfying character arc, etc.

Okay, okay, I'll paste the basic structure below just so you can see wtf I'm talking about:

-_-_-

-Act I:

1) The First Frame

-What is the first thing we see? This should be a snapshot of the main character’s problem, before the story begins

-Ex: the Star Destroyer in A New Hope

2) The World Around Us

-What is the main character’s world like at the beginning of the story?

-What is missing in the main character’s life?

3) State the Theme (sneak this into The World Around Us)

-What is the story secretly about? This should happen during The World Around Us

4) Inciting Incident (smol tentpole)

-What happens to put the hero on the road? This is where the hero’s life changes forever.

5) The Hero Questions

-1st introspective moment

-Can the hero really do this? Should the hero chicken out?

-Oftentimes the hero fails at something

-Ex: Luke gets his ass beat by the raiders

-Act II:

6) Crossing the Threshold / The Emotional Hurdle (big tentpole)

-The main character makes a choice

-Beginning of Act II

7) The B Story / The Love Story

-Introduced here

-Often but not always a love story

8) Promise of the Premise

-Fun and games in the world you promised

-Horror movie? Creeps here!

-Sci fi? Space battles!

-Animation? Shenanigans!

9) Midpoint (big tentpole)

-The hero finds out that what they want is not what they need

-Luke rescues the princess - turns out that’s not really what the story was about

10) Bad Guys Close In / Throwing Rocks

-Events conspire to tear the hero’s goal to shreds

-Wesley is mostly dead, Inego is drunk, Fezzick is part of the brute squad

-This is the other side of the fun and games coin where things are no longer fun

11) All is Lost

-Something super bad happens, and that goal is impossible

-If someone important is gonna die, it’s probably now

12) The Pit of Despair (smol tentpole)

-The hero mourns the death (if someone died) and wallows in his/her lowest point

13) Inspiration

-A fresh idea

-Act III:

14) Come and Get Some / Final Confrontation (big tentpole)

-The final confrontation - the final showdown

-A and B stories wrapping up at the same time

-The theme makes sense and the battle is engaged

15) Final Frame

-Opposite of the first frame

-The hero is changed

-_-_-

It's what I use. But hey, you don't have to. What works for me might not work for you.

I'll finish this off by pasting in a section of actual real-ass planning I have open in a document for one of my novels at this moment (it's giving me the evil eye, I swear) so you can see what I kind of mean by "thought vomiting." Also note that in my actual document, the bullet points are indented incrementally to be kind of "nestled" underneath the relevant points, if that makes sense, and that it's a whole eye-watering mess of different colors. But for Tumblr, it's this:

-_-_-

-You have to be rescued by the rest of the team, because you fell down that hole - and you are, eventually, after screaming yourself hoarse some more (plus it’s been like an hour or more now, so they have since noticed that you were missing)

-I could gloss over this, like end the chapter when you run away, and open the next one with “It takes another half hour of screaming your throat nearly bloody before the team finds you,” or something

-They berate you for chasing after ghosts - you say you didn’t find anyone down there, because you know for damn sure nobody’s gonna believe what you think you saw, and you don’t even think you believe it

-This leads to a trip to the local doctor (a clinic, probs, akin to UrgentCare), which you’re not happy with because that’s more people taking notice of you

-However, you’re also going through the change in mindset here - see below

-Note: I as the writer don’t have to worry about the paperwork or whatever that you’d normally have to fill out, getting hurt on the job, because you weren’t officially hired - however, it would be a good “humanity is okay” moment if the guy who hired you came in and helped you with the medical expenses because he felt bad - he’d also probably be a little nervous about you suing or something, but you assure him that you have zero interest in that

-I could include a funny line where the guy says he’ll pay for your doctor bill and you try to say no (being indebted to someone is bad news for you) but he insists, because he says he feels responsible, and you just kind of stare at him and then blurt, “Do you need me to kill anyone for you?” (Something you probably regret as soon as you say it, not because you expect him to accept but because you abruptly remember what happened two days ago.) (Would it be too much to also add like “You want me to murder anyone for you? You want a blowjob? I will do anything,” and he gets flustered and bats it off like “Nah, nah, nah, chill out. You’re crazy, man.” And insists that you don’t need to pay him back)

-Here’s a decision I have to make - does the guy pay for your doctor bills as well as paying for your work today (leaving you enough money to potentially split town, but you decide not to), or do you have to pay the $2,500+ in doctor bills with no insurance for the injury, which raises the stakes by depleting all your money?

-I think I like Option A best, because it gives Sam more agency as a character if they decide to stay despite having the option to leave, versus them just being stuck completely - plus I don’t know how else I’d be able to explain away you having money for the hotel

-The guy who hired you pays you for the work day here - and maybe, just maybe, that gives you barely enough to buy that used car (although, why would it? It couldn’t have been more than like $200 for 8 hours of work, maybe $300 if he was really really desperate - if it was a really cheap used car, that might give you barely enough to buy the car but literally nothing left over)

-Point being, maybe you have enough money to bolt now, if you chose to - and you have to make the choice not to

-The car you found might be a $1,500 Honda Civic (or Jeep or whatever) with a dead battery, and the guy selling it says it should run fine with a new battery, which you Google (apparently it would be somewhere in the range of $100-$200) - maybe you think of how nice the mechanic was for you and wonder if you could cut a bit of a deal with him, if you get this car - and if the guy pays for your trip to the doctor and pays you for the temp work, this could just tip you into the margin of being able to afford the car, if you haggle with the seller

-_-_-

Or another example, with more actual sentences:

-_-_-

-As you approach the trailer you start to register a smell that turns your stomach - something like a porta potty and something like the sharp tang of rusting metal. It makes you pause - maybe there really is someone in there, using the place to live whether there’s a sewage hookup or not - it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing you’ve heard of. But after standing for a bit, silent and listening, and then hiding behind a large tree to chuck a rock at the vehicle to no response, you continue forward. You’ll just have to be cautious. Your spirits lift when you see the door. It’s completely grown over. (Leafy vines lace over it, tangling in the handle, yellowing and unbroken. If someone is living in there, they’ve been using the window to come and go, and that doesn’t seem all too likely. Bolstered by a new swell of confidence, and picturing the unlikely riches you might find stashed away in a cabinet or a glove compartment, you cross the last few feet towards the shape.

-You find the body and recognize it as one of the two obnoxious vlogging dudes from the motel

-I’m kind of imagining the moment of discovery like the wardrobe moment in Narnia where, during your nice forest trek, there’s been some pleasant acoustic music playing (like All the Pretty Girls by Kaleo maybe) and then it just stops abruptly in the middle of a phrase, maybe echoing slightly, when you see the body, and all at once everything is sickly silent.

-Oh dude, maybe you continue thinking it’s a duffel bag (possibly feeling pretty upbeat, though cautious until you’re literally about to step over it, and then you happen to glance down and get a sickening, chest-slamming shock when an empty human face is staring up at you

-Note: there should be mushrooms growing in, on and around the RV, because mushrooms are Creepy

-You go to investigate the RV

-Maybe you recognized the body as one of the vloggers and you’re trying to see if his friend is around - or maybe, in a kind of sick daze, you short circuit and find yourself doing the only thing you can think to do: continuing along your trajectory, stumbling towards the RV and tearing the rusted-out door free from the lattice of brittle vines that held it in place (this is what alerts The Dude that someone has been here), like if you just get to your original goal that’ll fix everything - somehow, if you just keep moving forward on the track you set out on, that thing won’t be real anymore - at the very least you have to get inside, to put a door between you and the body, like you’re pulling the blankets over your head to shield yourself from the boogeyman. Just as long as you’re not out there with, with...

-_-_-

Anywho, I'll stop.

I apologize again for... (scrolls up for a million miles) all of that, but you asked me about my passion and now you pay the price, lmao.

[totallyjazzed]

Analysing Copaganda (or "I watched seven seasons of Brooklyn 99 so you don't have to")

Introduction:

Several months ago my parents approached me asking if I wanted to watch Brooklyn 99, not knowing anything about it, my first instinct was to say no, but then I thought it would be interesting, to watch it and write a proper analysis for exactly what makes it propaganda and why it gives liberals brain worms. If you've spent any amount of time engaging with politics online for the last few years, you've likely already heard of Brooklyn 99. It's a sitcom written by Michael Schur, who previously wrote The Office (I'll get to that later), Parks & Recreation, and The Good Place. The show follows the lives of a squad of police detectives in Brooklyn and the wacky hijinks they get up to.

Brooklyn 99 has become famous, or arguably infamous, on Tumblr (and potentially other social media websites too) for being used as a "retort" to anti-cop sentiments (namely ACAB and any variation thereof), mainly taking the form of "the only good cop is Raymond Holt". In this essay (to use a funny Tumblr meme phrase) I will provide a brief overview of the show and the main characters, and analyse how the show, and each character individually, is pro-cop propaganda (copaganda).

The Show:

Brooklyn 99 is The Office, at least from what I understand about The Office. It’s a sitcom based in a workplace in which characters often pull pranks on each other and have wacky adventures pertaining to their job. The main thing that sets it apart from The Office is that the workplace in question is a police station, this makes it a cop show too. However, unlike more “classic” cop shows like CSI, Law & Order, The Wire, and so on, B99 doesn’t seek to glorify it’s characters as action heroes, but rather paint them as normal people living normal lives. This is far more insidious than the picture of the gnarled man of action who doesn’t play by the book, and by making the characters relatable the show gives viewers people to project onto, making them more vulnerable to the propaganda of the show.

Occasionally, in a break from the antics of Relatable Immature Prankster Archetype and Funny Overly Attached Best Friend Archetype, the show will attempt to say something about racism, or homophobia, or misogyny, or something like that, and while it usually feels well-meaning it often falls flat as it’s a watered-down safe-for-TV version of whatever the issue du jour is. 

In S4E16 (“Moo Moo”), Terry is harassed by a racist cop while he doesn’t have his badge, and is almost arrested until he manages to prove his cop status, the rest of the episode revolves around how racism is bad and that one singular racist cop is a problem, in the end Terry submits a complaint to the NYPD higher-ups and gets his job application denied, and the racist cop gets away with a slap on the wrist. Throughout the show, Captain Holt tells stories about how he suffered from racism and homophobia, and still does. Transphobia is mentioned once (presumably for brownie points) in a throwaway line about Ace Ventura.

At the end of Season 4, Jake and Rosa are framed for a series of bank robberies and sent to prison, and the first two episodes of Season 5 work to show that prison is bad and prisoners are mistreated, they also make abundantly clear that everyone in prison is a menace and deserves to be there (Jake’s cellmate is a literal cannibal and he’s shown to be one of the nice inmates), once the duo are released from jail, there are a few lines here and there about how prison is bad, but they’re only throwaways used to serve as one-off jokes and never again used as an actual critique of the prison system.

Police Brutality is never mentioned, the closest it comes to bringing it up is in S1E19 (“Tactical Village”), where Rosa is introduced to a sonic-blast weapon and aims it as Charles, this is clearly supposed to be a very harmful piece of equipment, but it's only appearance is treated as a joke.

There are also recurring gags about Defense Lawyers being “the enemy” because they only defend guilty parties (the show heavily implies that none of the squad has ever arrested the wrong person), which meshes with the harmful stereotype in cop shows of only guilty people saying for a lawyer or a warrant or whatever, which has been documented before by others.

The Characters:

Jake Peralta (played by Andy Samberg) is the Relatable Immature Prankster Archetype I mentioned before, he’s the office funnyman and usually responsible for the majority of the goings-on and goings-wrong in the show, while he does mature and evolve through the show he never grows out of this character. He’s the closest the show gets to the “gnarled man of action who doesn’t play by the book” character I mentioned before, not because he is that character but because he wants to be, his favourite movie is Die Hard and it’s the reason he joined the police, so he could be like the cool bruce willis man. He’s also the most unlawful character on the show, in S1E7 (“48 Hours”), he arrests a man with no evidence and the squad is essentially locked down until evidence can be found, in the end it turns out the man is guilty. Jake is scolded for this, not for essentially breaking the law, but for wasting everyone’s time when they had much better things to do that night. Jake’s character is propaganda because he’s the zany relatable one with a heart of gold.

Amy Santiago (played by Melissa Fumero) is the overly-organised hyper-nerd archetype, in direct opposition to Jake. Her dream is to be the NYPD’s youngest female captain, and she’s very “I want to keep the people safe” in her approach to policing. In S3E3 (“Boyle’s Hunch”), she is used as the face of the NYPD’s poster campaign, only to have her image vandalised, which is painted by the show as being very bad and sad. Amy’s character is propaganda because she’s the uptight peacekeeper who sticks to the rules.

Charles Boyle (played by Joe Lo Truglio) is the Funny Overly Attached Best Friend Archetype I mentioned before, often depicted as bumbling and naive, he’s an incredibly competent detective, arguably more so than Jake. He’s usually polite and friendly, and has moments of childishness that compliment Jake’s character. Charles’ character is propaganda because he’s the nice guy who just wants what’s best for everyone.

Raymond Holt (played by Andre Braugher) is probably the character most people are aware of, he’s a somewhat stuck-up man who embodies a lot of the same characteristics as Amy, he’s highly-educated, incredibly smart and quick-witted, and emotionally restrained. Originally presented as an outsider, being the new guy to the pre-existing friendgroup, he learns to relax and let go over the course of the show, and acts almost as a father figure to the other characters, primarily Jake and Amy. Raymond’s character is propaganda because he’s a black gay cop.

Rosa Diaz (played by Stephanie Beatriz) is tough, aloof, and often scary in the eyes of the other characters, she is shown to have problems with engaging with people socially, particularly romantically, and while her exterior is rough as uncaring, she’s shown to be fiercely loyal and have some not-so-tough secrets. In Season 5 she comes out to the squad as Bisexual. Rosa’s character is propaganda because she’s the no-nonsense tough cop who secretly has a heart of gold.

Terry Jeffords (played by Terry Crews) is a kind and caring man with a firm-but-fair attitude, acting as Holt’s second-in-command he also acts as a father figure to the other characters, he has two (eventually three) children which he is often seen gushing about. He is the most mature of the group, on-par with Holt in some respects but sometimes more so, refusing to take part in hijinks to focus on his job. Terry’s character is propaganda because he’s the physically strong and imposing, yet kind cop who just wants to provide for his family.

Michael Hitchcock (played by Dirk Blocker) and Norm Scully (played by Joel McKinnon Miller) are an inseparable pair of bumbling, lazy, oafs. Scully is fat, lazy, and old, Hitchcock is lecherous, lazy, and old. They’re propaganda because they’re the lazy incompetent cop archetype.

There are plenty of minor recurring characters, as well as Gina Linetti, a main character who left after Season 6, however as she’s a liaison and not a cop I won’t be analysing her in detail.

There’s a lot more I could have mentioned here, from the dirty cop that sense Jake and Rosa to jail, or the police commissioner who wants to spy on everyone’s phones all at once, Holt even says the line “I don’t want to live in a Police State”, but I’ve left them out for the sake of brevity.

Conclusion:

Brooklyn 99 is copaganda to it’s very core, this much everyone already knows, but unlike serious cop dramas and high-stakes high-action cop shows, Brooklyn 99 offers viewers an escape to a world where the police are the force for good that people want them to be. The premise of “The Office but police” suckers people in with nostalgia for the late 2000s/early 2010s back when things were “good”. Given Michael Schur’s previous work I imagine he and the other writers didn’t explicitly set out to make copaganda, but it’s undeniable that this is what was achieved. And now with the political climate being what it is and the threat of a potential Season 8 addressing this year’s BLM protests, it’s now more important than ever to be able to identify and root out police propaganda, no matter how unassuming, no matter the source.

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Reflecting on Agents of SHIELD

So here we are at the end of 7 years. I have had a bit of a love/hate relationship with the show. There are times when I really haven’t liked the show and there are times when I have loved the show. Unlike many fans in the fandom, I don’t think its a perfect show. It has had more than a few missteps along the way. But it deserves credit on the things it has done right.

I remember the excitement when I hopped on board for season 1. Just coming off Avengers, this was supposed to be the tv spinoff where a whole world of exciting things were supposed to happen, interlinked with the movies. Turns out, it was a huge mistake to market the show like that. Thinking about it know, the potential challenges of that working out were obvious. Movies are written far before tv episodes are so doing that type of synchronization would be extremely difficult even if there weren’t tensions between the tv and movie divisions. In any case, season 1 was a clear case of a show treading water. The first 2/3 of the season was truly dull, barring a few good ones likes F.Z.Z.T. It wasn’t till T.R.A.C.K.S that the show started to find its footing with any sort of quality. The cast also seemed to be getting a handle on things. Clark Gregg smoothly transitioned without a problem as a lead but initially Ward was too blank a slate to really connect to, Skye was really annoying, FitzSimmons were just a bickering couple, and May was just the deadpan badass stereotype. But slowly the actors started to get a handle on things. The first sign of Elizabeth’s talent could be seen in F.Z.Z.T. Ming Na and Brett Dalton started to find more tinges of humanity in their characterizations. Iain really started to open out towards the end of the season and delivered what is still one of the most powerful scenes of the show in his confession to Simmons under water. I will be honest and say that Chloe wasn’t very good initially. It was partly the character and partly that the others seemed significantly better at the dramatic beats. The big Hydra twist gave Brett Dalton a huge boost as a performer. Its as if his handcuffs were taken off and he was suddenly freed and he became the most interesting character on the show for me. The Hydra plot of season 1 may still be the best story arc the show did, rivaled only by the Framework arc. I still don’t know which I rank higher, but that arc was the height of fulfillment that we got from the premise as originally pitched to the fans where the show synchronized with the movie story very well. And it was really the last time it happened. While most of season 1 was unfortunately handicapped, the final arc ended the season on a high which left me with great anticipation for what was next.

As we started second season, the thing that immediately struck me was that the show had completely changed. What again struck me was how Iain and Brett had really become the MVP’s of the show for me. Iain was heartwrenchingly brilliant in the first half of season 2. Again, one of the scenes of the show for me is when Fitz finds Ward in the basement. Brett and especially Iain just acted the hell out of that scene. The story arc of SHIELD vs Hydra was always one of the strong points of the show. That’s where the strength of season 2 lies. They played on the toxic Ward/Skye dynamic really well in those interactions in the basement. Brett really found the perfect balance of creepiness and sincerity in those scenes. In the midst of it all, we got some new additions in Bobbi, Hunter, Mack, and Kyle Machlachlan as Skye’s father and the transformation from Skye to Daisy happened. Honestly, Kyle was the highlight of the new additions in the season. He was there throughout and was kind of the emotional heartbeat of Skye/Daisy’s story in season 2. I wasn’t a huge fan of Mack in season 2. He had this passive aggressiveness towards anyone who wasn’t Fitz. I liked his dynamic with Fitz. Definitely the FitzSimmons stuff was hard to watch with it being so heartbreaking. Little did we know how much more there was to come. Bobbi and Hunter I was largely indifferent to. Bobbi was a badass and Adrianne Palicki is gorgeous but I never got overly invested in her. Hunter was hilarious at times and sometimes annoying. I liked how he was with Fitz. I felt Iain brought out the best in everyone this season. I wasn’t a huge fan of the second half of the season. I think the whole SHIELD vs Real SHIELD arc was pretty dumb and even the Inhumans story could have been better executed. Also, they took a wrong turn with Ward by the end of season 2. They had real potential with Ward being a wild card character who could be on hero’s side or villain’s side depending what benefits him, but instead they made him pure villain by season end.

Season 3 started off ok. Again, Iain was heartwrenching in the season premiere and Elizabeth turned up in full form in her solo outing. I honestly did not care about the whole Will drama. It felt very soap operaish for them to use this to create a love triangle which actually goes nowhere. Again, I felt they didn’t do enough with Ward even though Brett Dalton gave it is all. Certainly it was the most straight up villainous version of the character. Powers Boothe came in and did a great job with all his gravitas as a Hydra leader. It was in season 3 I started feeling Chloe Bennet started stepping up to the plate. In all fairness, one of my issues with some of the initial seasons were that it was so heavily Skye/Daisy dependent and everyone else felt more interesting to follow than her. This season allowed Ming Na and Clark Gregg to show some shades of regret and anger respectively. I was annoyed when they killed Ward because of wasted potential but Brett stepped up to the plate with an excellent turn as Hive. Bobbi and Hunter’s goodbye was sad though, as I said, I never got a personal attachment to those characters. One of the big misfires unfortunately was Lincoln. I have seen Luke Mitchell be compelling in other roles but Lincoln just did not work. Not as a character independently and not as a love interest for Daisy because they shared no chemistry. In a way, his death at the end felt like the writers dumping him and just admitting they didn’t know how to make the character work. We also got introduced to Yo Yo who would last the remainder of the show. It was kind of an uneven season but overall enjoyable. Didn’t reach the heights of the best parts of season 1 and 2 but maybe more consistent overall. I was really sad to say goodbye to Brett Dalton who was my second favorite cast member after Iain at this point.

Season 4 probably stands as the overall best season in terms of quality. Splitting the season into three pods really helped with the pacing with an increased amount of story. It was also the first season since season 1 where SHIELD existed as a functioning public agency and not just a bunch of agents working in secret. Robbie Reyes was incredibly badass as Ghost Rider. His pod was probably the weakest of the season but his presence overshadowed all the regular SHIELD cast members. The villain story was kind of weak but the backstory with Robbie, his thankfully platonic dynamic with Daisy, and the story of the developing technology of AIDA was fascinating. The LMD arc was better because AIDA and Radcliffe became serious legitimate and realistic threats. The acting also was top notch. The finale of this arc, Self-Control, is one of the show’s top episodes where Chloe Bennet was amazing as was Elizabeth and Iain was genuinely frightening as the LMD in the few minutes he had. But Framework just killed it. Brett Dalton coming back was wonderful. I really wished they had found a way to bring back this version to the real world. Iain delivered a seriously terrifying performance as the Doctor. Elizabeth, Chloe, Clark, Henry, Ming Na, John Hannah, and Natalia were all great. But the season’s MVP was Mallory Jansen, who played multiple iterations of the character throughout the season. My one issue with season 4 was I felt that she was built up in the finale a lot but then got taken out too easily. But overall, great season.

Season 5 is where the show kind of lost my interest. I am genuinely not a fan of the season and don’t have much to say about it. I felt it became outlandish and silly, while simultaneously becoming overly grim and morose which just didn’t work tonally for me. The acting continued to be top notch across the board. Iain continued to be a highlight all season with his breakdown episode being one of the most painful to watch. FitzSimmons wedding was lovely and kind of a welcome relief in a very dark season. Clark Gregg, Ming Na, and Chloe Bennet were excellent towards the end when playing out Coulson’s deteriorating health. Natalia also got to have some meaty story for really the first time on the show. But the budget constraints were clearly showing with the entire season being played out in the same grey halls and honestly I just never felt invested in the story. I knew the world wouldn’t end and it just became unendingly morose. Enoch was kind of the highlight in terms of humor in the season. Deke was introduced and I felt the same way as I felt about hunter. He was fun at tmes and other times annoying. The grandson revelation was kind of cool but I feel they have never done all that much with that connection. Maybe if the entire season was half a season’s plot, it would have been more palatable.

Season 6 was a minor improvement though still not great. The villains were again the big downfall of the season. I felt the show showed an inability to let go of Clark. Sarge was really not compelling and not a character that utilized his Clark Gregg’s best traits, which is his easy every man type nature. I could care less about the Shriek and Izel. We got to see May as a badass several times, which was nice but it was the space advanture that I enjoyed more. Whether it was Daisy and Simmons getting high on space mushrooms, or Enoch and Fitz being BFF’s in space, it was the show getting back to having some humor. Certainly a shorter season helped with regards to pacing. But it was still a rather unremarkable season which ended on a promising note.

Season 7 has been the best season since season 4. I feel that the first half the season was awesome. Rediscovering the fun, natural lighting, and better character interplay. Not having Fitz around was a bummer since Iain’s my fav cast member but we got the delightful surprise of Enver joining the cast as Sousa who I absolutely loved on Agent Carter. He has helped fill the void for me. Certainly has brought more than his share of humor and heart to the show. Again, the season’s weakness has been its villains. The chronicoms were initially good physical threats and certainly what they did to Mack’s parents was horrifying, but when Nathaniel Malick took over, the season has kind of stuttered for me. He just doesn’t cut it as a villain, especially for the final season. Chronicoms also don’t really cut it beyond the physical threat. The new additions of Kora and young Garrett are too last minute for me to feel any sort of threat from them. Certainly the time loop episode was amazing and the developing relationship between Daisy and Sousa has completely taken me by surprise. Its a mixture of good writing, good acting, and natural chemistry that this pairing has been something I root for, even though I loved PeggySous. But the show inexplicably got stuck in the 80′ and I really felt they should have gone through the periods to catch up to present day. Certainly the Jiaying story helped with some character reconcilliation for Daisy but I think there could have been more interesting stories had they progressed to more modern times. In any case, that leads to the finale. Hopefully the show ends on a good note. I don’t think it will be everything I want it to be because there are too many things on my wishlist, like a Ward return, which are unlikely to happen. But I hope for that its largely emotionally satisfying. Its been a good, if uneven ride. I would say its probably my second favorite Marvel show after Daredevil, but its longevity shows that it has developed a loyal core of fans. I may not get as emotional as a lot of the core fans, but it will feel weird that there will be no more Agents of SHIELD. It is the end of an era with it being the last of its brand of Marvel shows with all future marvel shows being direct movie spinoffs. I don’t anticipate we will see these characters in this form again, but who knows? Maybe someday?

Edit: My thoughts on finale

Overall, it was.... fine. I don’t know what I was expecting. I liked how the characters ended up but the whole thing felt oddly safe and a little emotionally hollow. They should have been a little braver and genuinely killed a couple of characters. Like I said earlier, there were a lot of things on my wishlist that didn’t happen, but I had kind of reconciled to that. The action was really good, but my apathy for the villains led to me being less interested in the whole story and the whole “empathy being the savior” was a little goofy for my taste. Regardless, far from the worst finale around but also not the greatest but reasonably enjoyable. Kind of like the show in a way, which makes it fitting. 

[arecomicsevengood]

QUARANTINE MOVIES PART FOUR

It’s wild to watch any movie knowing that none will be made for the foreseeable future, and that the whole collective experience of filmgoing might be dead. I tend to have a certain sad, scared lonely feeling when I contemplate the future at night, and while I attempt to put off by watching movies, it only partly works. Now, more than ever, movies are a larger part of my processing of the world than the ongoing conversations I have with friends.

Smithereens (1982) dir. Susan Seidelman

There is something particularly powerful about movies where people run around, socializing. These things are pretty resonant with my youth, but “youth” in this broad sense that just means “the before times,” because if there’s anything quarantine is bringing home it’s the importance of a form of adulthood based around domestic partnerships with someone you like and having “real jobs” that can translate to telecommuting. Of course, socializing of the sort no longer allowed is really useful, and shouldn’t be written off as youthful frivolity. Smithereens is not a particularly romantic movie: While it might be famous for being “punk” in a “cool” way, documenting young New York nightlife in a way where David Wojnarowicz’s band 3 Teens Kill 4 is on a club’s marquee, it’s really about young people as these sort of upwardly-mobile opportunists with no real talent trying to exploit one another for a mixture of sex and social clout, and ignoring those who are not actively useful to them. It’s a useful document of people being shitty where the appeal now is how cool they look, and it’s interesting to watch in this moment where I’m worried that the whole idea of community will be lost very soon, in a way we won’t even be able to articulate. We’ll all be scrambling for jobs and security but everything will be further hollowed out, and we’ll be left with an even more vicious and dog-eat-dog citizenry. So a movie like this has nostalgic appealing, but by depicting the seeds of what will only become more widespread problems, it avoids feeling dated or idealistic.

Gloria (1980) dir. John Cassavetes

Oh shit this movie rules! I was under the impression I disliked Cassavetes, based on the others I had seen, and watching the first twenty-odd minutes reminded me of why: Sort of circular conversations, involving a lot of people being upset with one another. But this ends up feeling more like a movie, and less like a play. Once Gena Rowlands kills a carful of people I was completely on board. She’s great in this, playing opposite a child, who is also amazing in it, tons of dialogue that should be quotable: “You’re not my mother, my mother was beautiful” being but one amazing bit of poetry. Both extremely cute and extremely badass from moment to moment, the parts of this movie are in tension with one another where it also feels like it’s going from strength to strength, and ever scene, every moment, is great. Incredible music, and also great documentation of a world that doesn’t exist anymore, of telephone booths, smoking sections, and places that’ll develop photos for you. Highest possible recommendation.

The Naked City (1948) dir. Jules Dassin

Seemingly the first movie to be shot on location throughout New York, rather than studio backlots, and it milks the city for all its worth, shifting frequently from one location to another, introducing to new characters. Initially guided by omniscient narration but quickly focusing to become a police procedural. I knew Dassin from Rififi but this feels more exciting, I would gladly watch movies bite the techniques from this every few decades, though Gloria does a good job of moving through the streets of New York in a less-contrived way. There was a Naked City TV show ten years later, shot on location and focusing on a police precinct.

Near Dark (1987) dir. Kathryn Bigelow

I consider this Kathryn Bigelow’s best movie, but circumstances have not led me to watch it as many times as I’ve seen Point Break, so the memories I’ve retained of it were kind of inaccurate: Specifically, the thing I thought of as the climax, the part at the hotel where light is getting shot through the blankets taped up to cover windows, happens like halfway through. Screenwriter Eric Red wrote this at the same time as he wrote The Hitcher, and that’s another one that just GOES, moving from one scene to another where they all have this climactic intensity constantly but the scale is shifting of what you’re invested in? The Hitcher is a nightmare and this is more of an action movie. People point out this movie has a bunch of the cast from Aliens but I didn’t realize there’s a shot where Aliens is actually on the marquee of a theater. I also wonder if this whole horror/action/western/but with vampires thing was an inspiration to Garth Ennis? I kinda feel like the pacing I find so powerful could not really be sustained over the length of an extended comic run.

Hero (1992) dir. Stephen Frears

Dustin Hoffman plays a criminal schlub, doing a weird voice. It’s almost like he was told that the role was written for Sylvester Stallone, but Stallone’s insistence on getting a writing credit on every movie he acts in complicated the premise in a weird way, so Hoffman just attempts a Stallone impression. One of his few redeeming characteristics is he’s a loving father, but that isn’t why he’ll remind you of your dad. Maybe most men are just Dustin Hoffman doing impersonations of Sylvester Stallone! From 1992, so Hoffman’s I guess in a post-Rain-Man mode, but the film also feels very early nineties in its commentary on television news turning stories into celebrities, and an analysis of the problems with professional cynicism that seem very much of their time. It’s not like a more sophisticated critique has found its way into any mainstream film I can think of, we’ve just stopped thinking about these issues, as they’ve become much worse. Joan Cusack’s good as his Hoffman’s ex-wife, and Susie Cusack’s good as his lawyer. I would like to see Susie Cusack in more things! Geena Davis plays a television reporter, Andy Garcia plays a decent guy who is a contrast to Hoffman, there’s also small roles for the likes of Stephen Tobolowsky and Tom Arnold, really placing this in a moment of time.

The Age Of Innocence (1993) dir. Martin Scorsese

I didn’t like this one, for all the obvious reasons: I don’t like costume dramas about rich people, and I don’t like Daniel Day-Lewis. It’s an Edith Wharton adaptation, all about a world of well-mannered old money with very rigidly defined rules of behavior. Michelle Pfeiffer plays the true love Day-Lewis is kept from by the mores of the day, and part of her romantic appeal is she’s able to see through the rituals and make fun of them, while Winona Ryder fully buys into them, and thus reaps the benefits. Everything is repressed, all behavior is affect, this is of course the point but very much not my thing. There’s also a lot of a narrator reading the text of the book while the camerawork fades between lavishly composed image, while the cinematography probably looked great on a big screen I would still be very anxious about getting to the storytelling.

Experiment In Terror (1962) dir. Blake Edwards

This one starts off super-intensely, with a home invasion scene, the sense of horror in this is palpable but the fear is just used as this blackmail structure for some noir stuff? It straggles the genre line pretty well, feeling weird because of this horror energy of sheer creeping malevolence defines it. This is also considerably longer than most of the other film noir I’ve watched recently, because those moments extend and take away from the sense of a building plot, to instead feel like they might derail it. Lee Remick is the lead, and she is this terrified victim, which makes the film more interesting than if it were focused on the cop played by Glenn Ford. The main character’s younger sister gets kidnapped at one point, it gets creepy. The climax occurs at a end of a crowded baseball game, and there’s shots that I assume were done via helicopter, which seems like it would’ve upped the budget considerably.

The Harder They Fall (1956) dir. Mark Robson

Humphrey Bogart stars as a former sports writer, working to drum up publicity for a fresh-off-the-boat boxer who does not know how to fight, but is naively participating in fixed matches, for the economic benefit of the mob. While the boxer is being exploited and making no money, despite his celebrity; Bogart is being well-compensated to sell out his conscience and he is very good at playing a dude in moral conflict with himself, struggling to do the decent thing. While this isn’t the best boxing movie, or the best Bogart, it’s still pretty good.

The Devil And Miss Jones (1941) dir. Sam Wood

Heard about this one in the context of it having good politics. It’s about a rich guy who goes undercover at a department store hoping to bust the union only to realize that the guy organizing the union is supremely decent and the middle manager should get fired. It has some scenes that feel like they might play for “cringe comedy” but also are just so fucked up? One where the rich dude is forcing shoes onto the feet of little girl who is crying saying “I don’t like it! I don’t like it!” feels way too much like a pervert’s fetish for me to be comfortable with. The female lead is played by Jean Arthur, who is very good at playing a genuine, kind, and idealistic person. I am very grateful she dates the union organizer and the old rich dude’s love interest is someone age-appropriate. Interesting to see a pro-union movie from a time when unions were popular, so it functions as populist entertainment while Sorry To Bother You gestures at being radical propaganda for self-congratulation’s sake.

Human Desire (1954) dir. Fritz Lang

Another noir from Lang, with the same leads as The Big Heat. This one made me worried about age-inappropriate relationships too, as it begins with a dude being back from war, moving in with his friends, and their daughter having “become a woman” while he was away. Luckily the title refers  to a desire he ends up feeling for a married woman who as an accomplice to a murder committed by her abusive husband. Glenn Ford stars in this one, and he has this very boring morally upstanding male lead quality that makes these well-made movies feel generic. This thing is happening to me watching movies where I get kind of hung up on how no one ever explains themselves or their feelings: I don’t think they should, I think the whole thing of watching a movie where you watch it thinking like “Why don’t you just tell her you love her??” is interesting because… a writer doesn’t need the characters to explain their feelings to each other if the viewers understand them, these feelings are the most obvious things and so can go unspoken, and so you would really only have them say these things if they were lying or being manipulative? But maybe in more modern movies people really do state their motivations because screenwriters are dumber now? I don’t know.

Fail Safe (1964) dir. Sidney Lumet

I have talked about this movie a lot since watching it, and in a way that doesn’t even mention that the opening is amazing, and the title and credits sequence are all-time greats. Instead I mention that Henry Fonda’s performance seems to have inspired David Lynch’s performance of Gordon Cole, and how the weird, fucked up nightmarish ending doesn’t really change the fact that watching it in 2020 it feels like a sort of pornography of competence when contrasted against our own reality. The whole movie is about an accident that leads to a U.S. military plane flying to Moscow to drop a nuke, and everyone (except for the pilots) realizing this is a mistake and trying to avert global nuclear war. The ending is pretty astounding in its darkness. Walter Matthau plays a guy whose role is to argue for the pragmatic value of mass death, but the moral calculus that ends up being embraced is far beyond the nihilistic death drive he advocates for. Mutually assured destruction is such a motherfucker of a concept. I am really hung up on the idea that unilateral nuclear disarmament never became a thing really set a precedent for how political parties in this country will never unilaterally dismantle their propaganda machines. 24-hour news is a nightmare, not really on a par with nuclear weapons, but similarly something that should be illegal, but for the calculations made. We would be a different country if we were willing to make these kinds of sacrifices but we really are not.

The Deadly Affair (1967) dir. Sidney Lumet

James Mason stars in this John Le Carre adaptation. He plays a spy whose wife is cheating on him, with another spy. None of the twists in this are unforeseen, in fact, the title alone explains a bunch, but the title is also so generic you might forget what the movie is called while you’re watching it. James Mason is good in it, although it’s weird that he’s playing a likable guy who sort of doesn’t seem to understand why everyone can’t get along or be honest adults with one another considering his work in the intelligence community. Another solid Sidney Lumet movie.

Three Days Of The Condor (1975) dir. Sydney Pollack

This movie does a very good job of not explaining things up front, and then portioning out understanding as it goes on. The movie begins with Robert Redford getting his office getting shot up, and we eventually learn he works for the CIA, but he cannot rely on them for his protection. It doesn’t introduce the female lead, played by Faye Dunaway, until like halfway through the movie, when our hero takes her hostage. Redford can’t really explain the situation to her, and just sort of acts like a psychopath, but they are able to have a quasi-romantic relationship where she trusts him because he’s played by Robert Redford, who is in some ways the seventies’ answer to Glenn Ford. The movie star aspect allows him to sell his agreeability, although he’s also supposed to be something of a nerd, a guy whose job is just to read books and analyze the information. Max Von Sydow plays the villain.

The Third Shadow Warrior (1963) dir. Umetsugu Inoue

Watched this because it’s made by the dude who made Black Lizard, it’s a samurai thing about a warrior who employs body doubles. It follows one such body double, overshadowed by the man whose existence he supports, at the expense of his own individuality or happiness. Interesting enough, feels like it occupies the solid middle of samurai movies- Something sort of common to stuff on Criterion is something that doesn’t blow you away but it is definitely a “real movie” at the very least.

La Cienaga, (2001) dir. Lucrecia Martel

That said, you kind of do need to be careful with newer Criterion channel stuff, because some things feel more like they’re just trying to engage with an art house history in order to earn their place in the canon. This movie isn’t bad, but I do feel like the reason it’s interesting stems from a context the film itself has nothing to do with: After Martel made Zama (2017), there was talk of her being asked by Marvel to do a Black Widow movie, which is insane. The studio also volunteered to handle the action for her, which she said she would actually be interested in learning how to do herself, but she had no interest in working with Marvel. Let Lucrecia Martel make a big-budget action movie without corporate properties you cowards! This movie is pretty difficult to follow, with no clear narrative thread, a lot of characters, weird pacing, etc. There’s moments of poetry or tension but this is one of those things that’s just beyond my preferences enough to remind me of a certain aesthetic conservatism I possess. I didn’t finish Zama, though I had read the book. It’s honestly tough to imagine Martel making a movie with straightforward plot that can easily be followed, it doesn’t seem to be what she’s interested in, even in terms of editing a movie so that you have a sense of where scenes stand in relation to one another in time. Many scenes still maintain a sense of beauty or mystery but at there’s no velocity. She’s closer to Apichatpong Weerasethakul or Carlos Reygadas or Bi Gan, to name three people whose names I absolutely had to Google because I couldn’t think of them off the top of my head.

All these movies are streaming on The Criterion Channel, if you want me to recommend things on other streaming services, please DM me your login information.

[intersex-ionality]

So you like Star Wars? Do you have any favourite Star Wars media? I do not know if I lean more towards Star Wars or Star Trek, I like them both very much. Have you seen any of the Mandolorian? I haven’t seen the polarizing Last Jedi, Solo or the new Rise of Skywalker you mentioned. What do you think of the latest trilogy? I read lots of spoilers for the movies I didn’t see. I can see why some of movies appealed to some and not others depending on the movie. Different sides. Might see them

The animated TV series are my preferred star wars media, with Clone Wars being my #1 and Rebels being my #2. I’ve never played any of the video games that attach themselves to the themes and canons presented by the TV shows, but I do know they exist. I just don’t… do a lot of video games. I need things that have very simple interfaces, forgiving combat, few or no quick-time events, and very simple or no puzzles. Star Wars games firmly do not fit that bill, even though many of them are single-player, story-driven games which is also something I love.

I haven’t seen Mandalorian yet, which I recognize is a travesty because I love both Star Wars and westerns, and it’s a Star Wars western, but also… TV shows are a lot for me, and live-action TV shows are especially a lot because it’s many many hours of media to wade through, most of it requiring me to gauge people’s body language without the exaggerated trappings of animation. It’s hard! I’ll get there, but maybe not for another few months yet.

As far as the films, my order of preference is:

The Last Jedi

Clone Wars - Animated

Rogue One

Clone Wars - Live Action

A New Hope

The Force Awakens

Return of the Jedi

Empire Strikes Back

Revenge of the Sith

Phantom Menace

Rise of Skywalker

I’m a firm believer in calling one-star wars film a lost cause. When I was very young, I called Empire Strikes Back the lost cause, because I haaaated it. It was so SAD and it ended on so many CLIFFHANGERS and I just hated that. In my young adulthood, I called Phantom Menace the lost cause, because I don’t like the canons it introduces, the implications it raises then forgets, the editing or the directing (though, as a kid, I actually really liked it: it was flashy, it had lots of really easy to understand visual gags and one liners, a child my age was the star, etc and so forth).

But congratulations to TPM, because as of a week ago, it’s back in the running. Rise of Skywalker is my new write-off.

I know it’s a bit of an “unpopular opinion” in major star wars circles–though a very popular opinion in transformative star wars fandom–to say that Last Jedi is my number one choice, but man oh man.

Spoilers for TROS and TLJ from this point forward.

Where some films I could mention, JJ, make a big point of spitting on everything that came before them and focusing only on large action sequences that were done better with worse tech and worse budgets decades ago, Last Jedi is a very Fandom Approach to SW canon. It reconciles the trauma and toxicity of the Jedi Order that the prequels went to such lengths to establish, with the bright-eyed bombast of the original trilogy and its worship of a past that had rusted and decayed but was still considered magical to the people it surrounded.

If you are the kind of person who enjoys reading Star Wars fanfiction, you’ll probably really like Last Jedi. If you are the kind of person who enjoys reading Star wars lore books, you probably won’t. If you’re a more casual fan, you’ll probably enjoy the way it captures that “anyone can be anything” adventure spirit of the original trilogy, but the deep forays into examining the preceding media might be a bit uh… much.

Of course, Last Jedi is like… a Star Wars film. It’s a fantasy adventure series set in space, and it knows and accepts the fundamental nonsensicality of its own premise. If you are looking for something truly grounded and realistic, star wars is simply never going to be the place to go (though, the animated Clone Wars series might be a good start…).

So, I do recommend Last Jedi if you like Star Wars! Just, go into it knowing that it’s quite a tonal departure.

I once described it (though I’m not sure I still would) as “Star Wars for fans of Star Trek.”

In the end, I could never choose between star wars and star trek because, the aesthetic similarities aside, they’re two very different properties in two very different genre, with two very different intentions. Star Trek wants to examine the philosophical implications of a lot of human beliefs, behaviours, and cultures, and uses speculative fiction to do so from a safe distance. Star Wars wants to show the emotional highs and lows of a chosen one and their friends,  and uses speculative fiction to make the stakes for those perspective characters about a million times higher than they could be in a real-life scenario. One is about philosophy, and one is about feelings. And while you can philosophize on feelings, or have feelings about philosophy, the two series are just… fundamentally different!! Different stakes, different settings, different tones, different goals.

It’s a lot easier to compare media with more similar genres. Such as comparing Babylon 5 to Star Trek, or comparing Avatar the Last Air Bender to Star Wars.

Rise of Skywalker is… more of a pastiche of other Star Wars films than it is a Star Wars film in and of itself. It spends a lot of time re-creating iconic moments from other films, without putting much effort into making them match the current plot, emotions, etc. It also loses a lot of the emotional power that makes Star Wars so compelling. However, it does have some good points.

For example, I like the part where BB-8 watches Rey heal a snake, and then she decides to try healing another droid herself. So she puts her power cord on the other droid (because the healing was explained to her as “giving up some energy to the other person”), and it works (because the other droid had a dead battery). That was such top tier shit. BB-8 is blessed.

I just… dislike a LOT more than I like, with Rise of Skywalker. Still, if you enjoy Star Wars, it is probably worth catching on streaming or rental. I can’t in good conscience say it’s worth the cost of a theater ticket, that’s a decision you’ll have to make for yourself.

[sparklyaxolotlstudent]

How to Succeed thanks to Spite. 2

AKA The Ladybug Puppet Show

Not much advance in the plot, just some ham and cheese.

---------------

Marinette was having a good day.

Ever since seeing the movie, she thought it was bad, like, really bad, but since she is Ladybug, she thought that her opinion might be biased. Or the fact that she watched it with Adrien at her side, and there were times she didn’t really paid attention for daydreaming.

But Alya and Nino and Rose and Juleka and everyone else had agreed with her that the movie was awful. Well, everyone except Lila, who thought the movie was deserving of an Oscar and claimed to practically have made it herself. Oh boy, her face when Alya and the rest of the class said the movie sucked and she should know better about Ladybug because she claimed to be her best friend. Marinette’s heart warmed at the memory. And then Lila sobbed and tried to make a sad story about how she had to change stuff so people wouldn’t figure the identity of Ladybug, and while people started to doubt, Alya and Chloe had asked more questions, cornering Lila, who resorted to crocodile tears, but at this point nobody really cared. Marinette even saw a few people rolling their eyes at her. Even Rose and Mylene!

Unbeknown to Marinette, Hawk Moth had felt Lila’s rage at being defied…

“Ah, deceit, jealousy and… is that damn girl again? Seriously? Pft, to think I almost missed my telenovela for her… again. Nooroo, Dark Wings Fold!” Hawk Moth transformed into Gabriel Agreste, and a tiny purple being manifested from his brooch. "C’mon Nooroo, let’s go watch your telenovela. Today Temo will finally confess to Aris that he likes him.”

“Right master… my telenovela” said Nooroo, rolling his eyes behind his current holder.

So for the first time, Lila’s temper tantrum hasn’t transformed into an akuma (An considering Mr. Pigeon had appeared like 20 times already, it said something that even Hawk Moth was getting tired of her. And now she had transformed and was patrolling. She hoped to run into Chat to discuss the movie; as she could finally tell him that he had seen it, now that it was officially out.

And lo and behold, she found Chat on the roof where he had prepared a date. Not that she officially knew about that one either.

“Hey Kitty Cat!”

“Hey Buggy… bug!”

“Buggy Bug? Wow, you’re getting bad with puns.”

“Well, excuse me M’lady… I saw the movie… Is that how people see me? A creepy stalker gloomy Batman loser wannabe?”

“Of course not, That Guy just has no idea how to write believable human beings. And if anything, I am the Batman here. You’re more like Spider-man.”

“… I can live with that.”

The two of them kept talking about the movie, Ladybug finding solace in the fact that Chat shared many of her opinions… and those of her friends, including Adrien. He even used the same Batman slash Wolverine analogy! Maybe she should try to introduce them someday. Then again, Chat Noir might be a bad influence on Adrien.

They heard a “ping” sound, and Chat Noir took his cheerleader baton out of his lower back, which sounds very weird if you don’t know about him. Ladybug raised an eyebrow.

“I setted this thing so  that it would tell me when the Ladyblog updated something. Oh, hey, Alya uploaded a new video”

“Wonder what it is, we haven’t had an akuma fight in days.”

“Don’t jinx it. Bad luck is my territory, being a black cat and all of that”

Chat Noir opened the video and they both watched.

The thing was hilarious. Instead of making a rant about how inaccurate the movie had been, or how ridiculous the whole premise was, Alya had made, with help of Nino no doubt,  sort of a review of the Ladybug movie, but splicing scenes and audio from the trailer, scenes from videos Alya herself had taken, and Alya in a very low budget Ladybug suit: a red shirt with uneven black spots made with marker, and her glasses with some red paper taped to them.

“She’s scared of cats, but powerless without her feline” The video started, with over the top dramatic music… and a crude drawing of Chat Noir as Nyan Cat, which Marinette would latter learn was Etta and Ella’s doing.

“I am so afraid of cats! Eek! Help me, help me! I’m so scared!” Alya said, while a video of Ladybug saving a cat from a tree was showing, with Alya syncing perfectly to Ladybug’s mouth, but not matching the mood at all.

“I work alone. I’m dangerous, if you interfere with my goals, I won’t hesitate to end you” was Nino in voice over, with an over the top gruff voice that no doubt must have hurt doing it, while an image of Chat Noir being playful and flirty with Ladybug played.

“I will conquer the world with my pigeons!” Surprisingly, the video was intact from how originally was. Although that had been the 14th time of Mr. Pigeon, not the first… still, it was about the only thing the movie had got right.

Ladybug and Chat Noir were laughing out loud when the video finished. And they ended up watching it several times, forgetting patrolling altogether.

Luckily for them, Gabriel Agreste also had an alarm for every time the Ladyblog updated… a shame that reporter girl had abandoned the idea of revealing Ladybug’s identity around the same time Rena Rouge had made her first appearance, otherwise she would probably have figured the identity of the three heroes already. Oh, and the identity of the Ninja Turtle who everyone seemed to forget always too. A shame really. Still, at least some times her information was still useful, like that time that they confessed that Chat Noir was allergic to pigeon feathers… oh, right, he had to remember to tell Nathalie to get Adrien’s medicine for allergies. Thanks to Alya he had akumatized Mr. Pigeon several times, he was not effective, but at least he was an annoyance to the heroic duo. And now the girl had made a video that made fun of that awful, awful movie that Adrien had been eager to participate. At least they had portrayed him like a Mafia Boss… which he honestly wasn’t sure if he should feel offended or flattered. Then again, they had made him a silent threat rather than have him do evil monologues. Now THAT was unforgivable.

--------------

Yes, Hawk Moth watched telenovelas with Nooroo, why do you think he spends so much time on his own? For plots of evil? PFT!

[josieandthepussycatsofficial]

i have done my classic thing: i have started pride and prejudice 2005, i am 7 minutes in, and i am disgusting with this bastardization of the text

my liveblogs below the cut

elizabeth is a man-hating love-hater? not according to any book jane austen wrote!

elizabeth is too silly and improper, mrs bennet, kitty, and lydia are not at all silly enough

this sucks

lizzy is upset that mr darcy didnt find her attractive? that is a devastating mischaracterization and sets the whole plot and their relationship off on terrible and incorrect footing.

also wtf are they sitting under some benches at a dance?

hate that darcy immediately looks at elizabeth (in a way we’re meant to assume means he finds her attractive) as if his attraction to her comes from her initially from her appearance. he really was not interested in her until he began observing her behavior and interacting with he

when mrs bennet says, “it’s a shame [charlotte lucas] isn’t more handsome,” a terribly improper and humiliating thing to say, mr bingley snorts a laugh. mr bingley is not supposed to be improper at all. he has good breeding, he’s rich, he’s just also very nice and friendly. he would never laugh at that

i do not know enough about the regency era to comment, but it seems to me that there are certain liberties with historical accuracy wrt clothing and such in this film that you don’t see in the bbc miniseries. for instance, elizabeth coming to netherfield with her hair down? i don’t believe women ever wore their hair down at this time (*edit* the bbc series and this movie take place in different periods. bbc series: 1813, movie: 1797)

why is mr bingley so awkward? i mean i know why, it’s to make him seem charming and unthreatening and cute and relatable or whatever, but it’s just inconsistent. his character is extremely warm, friendly, polite, not terribly intellectual, but not a bumbling mess who can’t execute a thought without backtracking because he’s so nervous around his lady love

the book has comedy to spare, you don’t have to cheaply manufacture it in this way just because the director’s scared that his audience won’t understand the original humor/scared that he won’t have the ability to make the original humor understood/doesn’t understand the original humor himself because he doesn’t understand the source material!!

i also hate the sharpness and vitriol that this darcy puts in his language. he’s supposed to be uber-polite but cold and haughty. propriety doesn’t permit active hostility (such as when he’s bemoaning the liberal use of the word “accomplished” when applied to women) in regular conversation. that’s intense and insane 

why does he speak so quickly? also they really should not have cut the whole netherfield drawing room scene, at least not the conversation between darcy and elizabeth about teasing and pride. they actually now that i think about it cut his whole thing on how a great man can never be too prideful. that’s really fuckin important character stuff! for both of them!

the comedy in this mr collins scene is not landing. they’re like laughing at him before he’s gotten too outrageous. and the actor is such a quiet, mild-mannered dude that he’s not really grating as he should be. this is supposed to be an extraordinarily annoying character, so annoying that the bennets can’t stand him for literally one meal.

ugh they have mrs bennet suggest to mr collins that he should pursue lizzy instead of jane. that’s not out of character for her at all but it misses the opportunity to show how scuzzy mr collins is, and also how fucking little he cares about who his wife is, assuming she meets the criteria of lady catherine de bourgh

ew mr wickham is so skeevy! lizzy’s into him because he’s hot and picked up her handkerchief? that’s it? is she an idiot? he’s not charming or good-natured or fun or funny at all. lydia: he’s a lieutenant! wickham: an enchanted lieutenant (referring to being enchanted to meet lizzy). like scream! what a gross pick up line!!!!)

and their flirtation is based on banter (no!) and him being self-deprecating (maybe, but not in such an obvious way “ignore me i’m next to nothing” what a fucking weird thing to say)

he literally charms her by pulling a quarter out of her sister’s ear. are you kidding? is she 8?

this dance scene btw elizabeth and darcy is all wrong. she immediately jumps on him with “it’s your turn to say something” after it’s been .1 seconds since he last spoke, and he spoke way more amiably (”indeed, most invigorating”) than would be his wont.

oh my god they’ve stopped dancing to angrily talk to each other in the middle of the dance floor? this is so incoherent with the characters (so improper!) and the time period. just cultivating more drama. this scene’s already juicy, they don’t have to be spitting angrily into each other’s mouths for it to come across

so silly and melodramatic that twice in this movie the entirety of a loud crowded drunken ballroom has screeched to a halting silence immediately for some minor drama. the first being the bingleys and mr darcy simply entering the room. the second being mr collins introducing himself to mr darcy (that one is especially ridiculous)

oh god why are they portraying mr collins as so sympathetic and sweet? he’s a fucking asshole! he’s not just annoying he’s a dick! that’s important, otherwise elizabeth is really unjustly mean to him, especially while she’s rejecting his proposal

oh i disagree with the way they play charlotte’s reasons for marrying mr collins. instead of her just not being romantic and marrying for practical reasons because that’s her nature, they make it a biiig thing like she has to marry because she’s old and ugly and otherwise she’ll go to the poorhouse

it’s not surprising that a lot of my critiques have to do with them pumping drama that doesn’t make sense into the story. making characters shout or spit words etc, because of course that’s what a hollywood film was going to do with a 19th century novel of manners

i guess i should say some good things about this movie. the cinematography is very lovely, obviously. i think it’s well cast, especially judi dench, with the exception of kiera knightley and the actor who plays mr collins. i think matthew mcfayden could’ve been a great darcy had he actually known anything about the character beyond the script

actually i take it back, judi dench isn’t quite amping up the ridiculous nature of this character like she should. they keep a lot of her silly lines but she doesn’t hit them to emphasize just how silly they are. she’s almost too stately to play this woman who, despite her great rank, enjoys spending her time being condescending to lower rank people

here comes my agreement with the grand critique of this movie: they make darcy out to be socially awkward rather than a haughty ass. he’s leaning in and whispering that he has trouble conversing with people, as if he means he has social anxiety and doesn’t mean, “small talk with simpletons bores me”

oh no they cut the delicious piano practice scene! they rewrote it and lizzy just says, “you should practice,” and we don’t get to have this famous, witty misunderstanding that elucidates darcy’s character so well!!!

oh no no no in this scene where colonel fitzwilliam tells lizzy that darcy split up bingleys attachment he tells her that the problem wasn’t the lack of fortune but the family! why?????? that’s half of the big reveal of darcy’s letter????? it’s when she realizes that oh his intentions weren’t so bad

i know i already said it but fuck darcy speaks fast. it sounds like shit. why doesn’t he just shut the fuck up and slow down? it’s weirdly inconsistent with his character. though i guess if they’re trying to rewrite him as socially awkward this could be part of that. but they shouldnt be! because it invalidates the whole premise of the story, their romance, and his character arc!

whoa whoa whoa and in the proposal scene when she says “why did you propose by telling me you’re doing this against your better judgement” he interrupted apologetically, trying to explain. what!!! no!!! he is an asshole! he’s insulted that this low rank woman would dare reject him. he didn’t suspect for one instant that she would. he’s fucking fuming from her first word

wow they’re chopping up this iconic proposal scene huh. i guess to make darcy still seem like a Nice Guy. he didn’t get to accuse her of only rejecting him because she was insulted by his proposal, she had to say that line. this movie is like, let’s make lizzy seem as insane as possible, and darcy as sweet as can be.

you’re not supposed to realize how wrong lizzy is, it’s supposed to creep up on you very slowly. youre supposed to feel like she’s been very reasonable up to this point, and you’re as shocked as she is when she reads the letter.

even his face! so shocked and sad like a kicked puppy standing there in the rain (we won’t even touch why the fuck they’re standing outside in the pouring rain). he’s angry right now! he’s so mad! he’s supposed to be fucking mad, because he’s a proud, arrogant, asshole!

oh my god and look he’s saying the lack of fortune of the bennets had nothing to do with it, and lizzy wow she’s sooo crazy for suggesting it, even though 20 seconds ago he just said it sucks that i’m in love with you ‘cause you’re so low class. god this scene sucks

there’s a reason this is all written in a letter in the book, it works much better that way. this is not a back and forth, lizzy doesn’t get to ask questions and poke holes. he offers his defenses and is still kind of a dick, and lizzy has to read it all without responding or rejecting it, really has to sit with it, the way you can’t do in a fight

oh and he just apologized for accurately noting that elizabeth’s family is often really disgustingly improper! how fucking out of character! both in general and in the scene because, and i can’t stress this enough, HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ANGRY

oh ok i have to redact some of my former criticism. he finally gets mad at the very end here, and makes the comment about “did you expect me to rejoice in your low birth?” though he still didnt say the crucial “perhaps you would have accepted had not the manner of proposal offended you”

wait what the fuck??? did they just lean in for a kiss and lean away?? like a whole, i’m angry at you i’m hot for you let’s fuck thing? what the fuck? not only is that cheap romance melodrama but also lizzy HATES this man. not like oops i love-i mean hate you but really hates him

why do they choose to have elizabeth not tell jane about the proposal? i can’t imagine there being any reason? except of course that’s she’s secretly already in love with him and doesn’t want to admit it! gag

this scene between elizabeth and mr bennet about lydia going off with the forsters is well done imo

ugh god but they’ve given lizzy’s “what are young men to rocks and mountains?” line to mary, making it seem stupid and platitudinal, because that’s mary’s character

oh good, elizabeth is going on another “all men are trash” rant that is a thinly veiled reference to darcy. they’re just fucking taking a wrecking ball to this character’s credibility and intelligence huh?

this is really devastating actually because at this point the movie is telling us that lizzy is fighting through the anger and hate and realizing she loves darcy, after their sexy confrontation and his letter. in reality, she’s realized she was wrong and is doing some deep self-reflection.

she feels a little sheepish about how she boldly she accused darcy of things she was so wrong about but she still isn’t in love with him because he’s still a fucking proud ass! he just happened to be right about some shit that she was too prejudiced to realize

it doesn’t make sense if she falls in love with him before he grows and becomes a good person. it shows a weakness of character on her part and makes his eventual character growth just a cherry on top. oh that’s nice, they’re in love *and* he’s not gonna treat her like shit. totally invalidates the whole point of the story, overcoming personal defaults and finding healthy love that way

wow they make lizzy so stupid! she objects so stupidly to visiting pemberly! oh let’s not. he’s so…. he’s so… he’s so rich! wtf are you talking about? in the book she’s just kind of like eh idk…. do you really want to go? i guess if you think we should go… oh he won’t be there? oh cool let’s do it

ok so i’m 1:21:54 into the movie. i have 45 minutes left. i’m stopping. i’m angry and getting no joy from this so. this was a humiliating project for me, thinking i could enjoy this movie. never again

[filmreviewsco]

Was the Goldfinch Brilliant? Or Was I Just Overhyped To See It?

I give this film 3 MOODY ANSEL ELGORTS out of 5!

Spoilers ahead...

To premise this whole review, I do have to admit that I started the film with the highest of expectations which is probably why I felt a small bit of disappointment watching The Goldfinch. I spent weeks trying to find the DVD with the digital copy in stores and only just found it two days ago at a local Walmart. I came home immediately and cleared my plans so that I could finally watch this film that I had heard and read so much about. So, bear in mind, I was incredibly excited and I suppose I imagined something entirely different than what was delivered.

From the trailers of the film, I thought this movie would have a far more apparent through line. I know that it is based off a novel, one I am now interested in reading, and I’m curious to see if there is a through line as thinly veiled in the text as it appears on the screen. As I was watching this movie, I grew confused. Many people didn’t care for the introduction into the story and felt that the beginning was weak but I actually believe it was the middle of the film that was the weakest link. The beginning and end of the film were actually quite brilliant (something I’ll discuss a bit later) but the middle lacked cohesiveness to the rest of the film. 

At some point during the film, I started to feel as if I was watching two very different stories taking place. Now, I could say that this is some sort of metaphor for how the two different stories are the two different parts of Theo, our main character, and his internal conflict but ultimately I can’t say that it is. At least, it wasn’t made obvious that it is. 

Theo is a young man that the worst things keep happening to. In fact, so many bad things happen to him that, at one point I understood why he wanted to end his life. I understood why he felt like a shell of a person because of all that occurred. The Goldfinch had a lot of opportunity to give us more depth into Theo’s life. Sure, it focused on his childhood and how two major events ultimately shaped him into who he was by the end of the film but I wanted more. I don’t know how to describe it but I just wanted more. It was one of those things where I felt like why didn’t he just try to end it all before? Everything went so horribly for him for so many years.... where was the good? Theo was handed so many crappy moves, where was at least the one good one? Something to make him keep holding on to this life.

Others might be able to make a case that meeting Boris, an incredibly complex character who I ultimately believe was the love interest of the film, was the one good thing to keep Theo holding on. Looking at the scenes they have together when they’re children, though, I don’t really see Boris as a good thing to happen to Theo. Sure, they become friends and friendship is incredibly important, but Boris teaches Theo some incredibly bad habits. He gives him drugs, gets him drinking, teaches him how to steal. He leads Theo into a direction that would only end in him getting even more shit. Do I dislike Boris as a character? Actually, no. I found his character to be one of the most interesting but do I believe the argument that he is good for Theo and is the only thing that keeps him around? Not at all. 

The constant beating of bad things happening to a poor kid who just lost his mother really pulled me out of the film. It didn’t make me want to finish and see what would happen. It honestly just made me upset and wonder why I was even putting myself through watching this movie. Especially when the clips in between his childhood memories had their own level of sadness to them. 

There is something that this movie did very well and that was its focus on character relationships. There was not a single character that we were introduced to as an audience member where I thought ‘who are they and what do they mean to Theo and his development?’ Every single character had a hand in shaping Theo’s story and that was something I genuinely appreciated. 

I also loved the use of sound in this film. The sound designer really knew what they were doing in creating not only the environment around Theo but the tone of the movie as well. The intricacies of there being silence when Theo feels his safest compared to the blaring noise of the environments he feels uncomfortable in were fascinating to me. What I loved about this was that Theo could be in one setting such as the streets of New York and one minute he feels incredibly calm and safe because he’s with a person he cares for or loves and the next, after that person leaves, the city is bursting with noise once more. The moments that shocked me the most when it came to the sound editing was the stillness and quiet of the gallery amidst the rubble when young Theo is talking to Pippa’s grandfather compared to him walking out of the rubble. It’s as if Theo was more safe inside the gallery which had just been blown to bits compared to the outside world merely because his mother was no longer there. Truly, the sound editing was just brilliant.

Overall I do not feel any of the actors were lacking. As always, I loved Ansel Elgort in his role and I have to commend the young actors for their portrayals of the characters as well. Every actor made me understand exactly who their character was in this story and why they mattered. I think the only thing that stood out to me when it came to the acting was the Russian accent of Finn Wolfhard (Young Boris) and Aneurin Barnard (Boris). Having known a handful of Russians born in the country, the accents often felt a bit too stereotypical? As if they were more mocking than authentic. However, it didn’t draw me out of the story completely so I got over it rather quickly. 

The cinematography was nice but nothing I haven’t seen before. That’s not to say it wasn’t good, I just could not pinpoint one moment that had me thinking ‘Yes. This is brilliant.’ 

Did I like the movie? Yes and no. In all honesty, I’m still deciding. I enjoyed the characters and I loved the beginning of the film as well as the end of it but do I think it was a brilliant masterpiece everyone should watch? I’m not sure. It is unclear to me if I genuinely liked this film or if I am just trying to spare myself the embarrassment of having been so hyped up to see this only to dislike it after such a struggle to locate it. 

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

top five/ten fics you read this year?

obviously I meant to answer this over a month ago when I posted about my own fics from 2018 and clearly that DID NOT HAPPEN, so…whatever. @scintillatingshortgirl19 also asked specifically about my top Loki fics for 2018, so I was thinking I would stick those in the answer to that ask and limit my answer to non-MCU fics for this one, but then I actually looked through my bookmarks (a goal for 2019: be much better about using my AO3 bookmarks, because as far as I know, giving kudos does nothing for my ability to find a fic later) and some of my history, and I quickly discovered I could not do that because I…pretty much only read Loki fic last year. so, whatever, this is just going to be my top several Loki fics/writers I read in 2018, plus a few non-MCU ones.   

Will to Live by…you! After Thanos, the Grandmaster agrees to bring Loki back to life–but there’s a price, and Thor isn’t the one paying it. there’s just…so much I love about this fic. the premise is great, full of whump and angst, but there are also a ton of smaller things that quickly made this one of my favorite (and most often re-read) Loki fics ever–like the double meaning in the title, and the Stormbreaker headcanon, and all the interactions between characters I wasn’t necessarily expecting to see (did I love Natasha’s role in general, and her and Steve being willing to help, and Wanda’s understanding and compassion? you bet I did), and Valkyrie being her amazing self, and the fact that this fic is so…crunchy and meaty in its explorations of trauma and recovery. (honorable mention to drown my woes in a lake of fire, which is part of a series and is also aaaaaalllll about what it looks like when someone’s theoretically been rescued from trauma. I kept getting choked up reading this because I knew what was going on long before Thor did, and Loki’s fear was so…raw and heartbreaking.) 

Every Moment We Teeter by @anamelessdragon. Loki dies on the Statesman and wakes up on Sakaar. godddd this fic is so good; like “Will to Live,” it quickly became one of my favorite Loki fics ever, and I’ve re-read it several times. the whump and angst alone are just, WOW, A+. I love a good “repetitive death experiences” fic anyway and this is a particularly great one, and for some reason the explicit reference to  video game save points makes it even better in a metafictional kind of way. (honestly, the fact that game characters can die horribly and just restart or respawn is ripe for exploration of what it would be like to experience that and still retain the memories of each death, so I’m predisposed to love anything that digs into that idea.) in general I’m really glad to have found this author, because her WIP Compression is great too.   

my reasons for defying reason by @gaslightgallows, a great IW fix-it. There’s also The Convalescent Way, of course, which is a wonderful post-Ragnarok longfic that introduced me to Loki/Valkyrie as a great new ship, although going by the publication date I think I started that one in late 2017. plus, for reasons that are probably obvious, good IW fix-it fics kind of…stand out to me.

On Our Terms (WIP) by @loxxxlay. Grandthorki, as defined by Echo, is a small ship but it’s a fascinating dynamic just full of possibilities for trauma, so it’s probably not much of a surprise that this one is just…full of ouch. Loki in particular is heartbreaking here–his despair is palpable, but he’s still doing what he can to protect Thor in his own way, even when Thor doesn’t recognize that.  

Gave You Every Piece of Me by @iamanartichoke. another new-to-me author and all-around A+ person. I found her work through Sanctuary, a much longer post-Ragnarok Loki/Valkyrie fic (have I had occasional problems remembering which events/headcanons/backstories were in this one and which were in The Convalescent Way, despite the fact that they’re very different stories? yes, my brain is useless that way), and I loved that and its in-progress sequel. The Grandthorki fic kind of stands out to me though, I think because it makes such good use of minor details to show the characters’ emotional states, and I love the way it’s structured between past and present. also in general I apparently have a thing for fics where the whole point is digging deeply into trauma and recovery, possibly because I have no idea how to write recovery myself. (honorable mention to Courage of Stars, which is a post-IW fic that isn’t a fix-it and is therefore very sad, but I think it’s also the first one I saw that laid out a reasonable motive for Loki’s last-ditch attack on Thanos that wasn’t “he was dumb and he really thought he could kill Thanos with a knife.) 

The Shining Sun by @theotherodinson. A great little IW fix-it that is, once again, all about slow recovery from trauma. 

Oh, Hey There, Mister Blue by @iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid. this one started as IW speculation before the movie ever came out, but in general it makes a wonderful AU where Loki actually gets to, you know, do things, including some really wonderful Guardians interaction and an immensely satisfying showdown with Ebony Maw. this is another new-to-me author I’m really glad I discovered; her much shorter IW fix-it Undying is also very good, and I’m loving her current WIP, in which a post-IW Loki crash-lands in Hell’s Kitchen and becomes a new headache for Claire Temple and Jessica Jones (so it’s great for that reason alone, but it’s also an intense street-level look at how much more terrifying and chaotic the Snap would’ve been for ordinary people who didn’t have a clue what was going on). 

atonement by foolondahill17. more IW speculation based on the trailer, where Loki surrenders himself to Thanos and things go downhill from there. this one hasn’t been updated in several months and the author may have abandoned it after IW actually came out, which is sad because it was a great AU. what’s there is still worth reading, though, because it has a lot of good Loki whump and interaction with other characters, especially his connection with Wanda. 

Those Flames That Did Rise by ScribeOfRhapsody. Loki and Bucky survive the Snap; Steve and Thor don’t. I’m kind of invested now in Loki and Bucky having a weird friendship, and seeing them come together in their shared grief and fury is fascinating.   

top non-MCU fics in I read in 2018: 

Lie Down Weeping at Nightfall by @ameliarating (Doctrine of Labyrinths). Mildmay POV has to be difficult no matter what, and this is a beautifully written look at his state of mind when (SPOILERS) Malkar had him in the Bastion. (also, I’m very much here for him seeing in Malkar the reasons Felix acts the way he does.) 

memorial by larkspear (Silent Hill 3). I went looking for fic after I finished Silent Hill 2 and 3, and I found some longer ones that I haven’t read yet. This is a very short but powerful post-game fic from Heather/Sheryl’s perspective–the format is really cool and it’s a great look at her dark sense of humor, her strength, and the trauma she went through in the game.  

The Heart of Light by @portraitoftheoddity (Doctrine of Labyrinths). whump and angst for both Felix and Mildmay. really, what more could a person ask for 

The Wound and the Dagger by @gaslightgallows (Crimson Peak). I wrote a tiny bit of a Crimson Peak AU where Thomas survives, for obvious reasons. this one is actually complete! and good!

[critic-corner]

13 Contemporary Rom-Com Novels That You’ll (Probably) Love

Even though this is a mainly fashion and film blog, I do like to consider this a platform where I get to share my thoughts and opinions on anything of interest properly and well, reading is a big passion of mine. Even though I do talk about it on Instagram a little but, for whatever reason I don't on this blog.

Many of my reader friends ask me for recommendations, so I took this as an opportunity to create some book-related lists even though it's a little hard to do that because lists are never-ending. Anyway, I'll try. Also, don’t worry it’s not gonna turn into a book blog, it’ll just be a small segment of my entire blog.

You can click on the book title to get your own copy!

One Day In December

Laurie is pretty sure love at first sight doesn't exist anywhere but the movies. But then, through a misted-up bus window one snowy December day, she sees a man who she knows instantly is the one. Their eyes meet, there's a moment of pure magic... and then her bus drives away. Certain they're fated to find each other again, Laurie spends a year scanning every bus stop and cafe in London for him. But she doesn't find him, not when it matters anyway. Instead they "reunite" at a Christmas party, when her best friend Sarah giddily introduces her new boyfriend to Laurie. It's Jack, the man from the bus. It would be. What follows for Laurie, Sarah and Jack is ten years of friendship, heartbreak, missed opportunities, roads not taken, and destinies reconsidered.

I have never understood the love at first sight trope but because this story travels for ten years where the characters get to know each other intimately, it worked out perfectly. My favorite part about the book was how you will see these characters grow and make important life decisions. By the end, I was so emotionally invested that I was sad when the book ended.

This is definitely one of my favorite contemporary novels. I have been recommending to all of my friends, even the ones that don’t read that often. If you are a rom-com fan, get this book because it’ll simply warm your heart.

You can get your copy on Amazon - paperback or kindle.

The Royal We

American Rebecca Porter was never one for fairy tales. Her twin sister, Lacey, has always been the romantic who fantasized about glamour and fame. Yet it's Bex who seeks adventure at Oxford and finds herself living down the hall from Prince Nicholas, Great Britain's future king. And when Bex can't resist falling for Nick, the person behind the prince, it propels her into a world she did not expect to inhabit, under a spotlight she is not prepared to face. Dating Nick immerses Bex in ritzy society, dazzling ski trips, and dinners at Kensington Palace with him and his charming, troublesome brother, Freddie. But the relationship also comes with unimaginable baggage: hysterical tabloids, Nick's sparkling and far more suitable ex-girlfriends, and a royal family whose private life is much thornier and more tragic than anyone on the outside knows. The pressures are almost too much to bear, as Bex struggles to reconcile the man she loves with the monarch he's fated to become. Now, on the eve of the wedding of the century, Bex is faced with whether everything she's sacrificed for love-her career, her home, her family, maybe even herself-will have been for nothing.

If you know me, you’d know that I’m a royal family nerd. So, when I came to know about this book last year, I was all over it because it seemed like a perfect escape. And while I was expecting it to be all cheesy, I was surprised by how realistic it seemed. Yes, it has been heavily influenced by the Kate-William romance, but that only added to the thrill of it. If you want a nice royal romance which also seems relatable, this is definitely the way to go!

You can get your copy on Amazon.

This Love Story Will Self-Destruct

Meet Eve. She’s a dreamer, a feeler, a careening well of sensitivities who can’t quite keep her feet on the ground, or steer clear of trouble. She’s a laugher, a crier, a quirky and quick-witted bleeding-heart-worrier. Meet Ben. He’s an engineer, an expert at leveling floors who likes order, structure, and straight lines. He doesn’t opine, he doesn’t ruminate, he doesn’t simmer until he boils over. So naturally, when the two first cross paths, sparks don’t exactly fly. But then they meet again. And again. And then, finally, they find themselves with a deep yet fragile connection that will change the course of their relationship—possibly forever.

This book was been marketed as When Harry Met Sally reimagined and I couldn’t disagree more. Apart from the fact that the two characters meet time and again, there isn’t much else relating this story with the movie and that’s not a bad thing. I just don’t want you guys to shocked like I was. Rom-coms have a fluffy, carefree vibe to them and technically, it has those aspects, but there is an underlying sadness to the story because of the female character (with whom I surprisingly found myself relating with, by the way).

I am that person who prefers character-driven stories over plot-driven ones and while this book doesn’t really fall in either of those categories, I fell in love with the two main leads. It’s been months since I read this book and they still casually pop up in my head every now and then, and I constantly find myself talking about them like they are real people. If you are a fan of emotionally-driven romantic novels, you might like this one.

You can get your copy on Amazon - paperback or kindle.

Unmarriageable

In this one-of-a-kind retelling of Pride and Prejudice set in modern-day Pakistan, Alys Binat has sworn never to marry—until an encounter with one Mr. Darsee at a wedding makes her reconsider.

One thing to always keep in mind before reading a retelling is that you cannot expect it to be amazing. At most, it can be great. I’m saying this because the ghost of the original and the eventual comparison will always be lingering over the book which will definitely hinder the reading experience. So, just go into it expecting a nice time, and not hoping to find your all-time favorite (if you do, then obviously that’s great).

Coming to Unmarriageable, the original premise of Pride & Prejudice fits perfectly on a Pakistani back-drop, or just any desi family. And while I was expecting to fall in love with the romance, I ended up enjoying the social commentary that Soniah Kamal did and that was probably because of how similar Indian people are. All in all, it was not the best Pride & Prejudice re-tellings (I think I’m yet to find that), but I sure as hell had a fun time reading it.

You can get your copy on Amazon.

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine

No one’s ever told Eleanor that life should be better than fine. Meet Eleanor Oliphant: She struggles with appropriate social skills and tends to say exactly what she’s thinking. Nothing is missing in her carefully timetabled life of avoiding social interactions, where weekends are punctuated by frozen pizza, vodka, and phone chats with Mummy. But everything changes when Eleanor meets Raymond, the bumbling and deeply unhygienic IT guy from her office. When she and Raymond together save Sammy, an elderly gentleman who has fallen on the sidewalk, the three become the kinds of friends who rescue one another from the lives of isolation they have each been living. And it is Raymond’s big heart that will ultimately help Eleanor find the way to repair her own profoundly damaged one.

This is one contemporary novel that has managed to step out that genre and successfully enter the literary talks. I have been hearing about this book for over a year and absolutely fell in love with it. If you are not the best in social situations and have a hard time navigating through them, you might like it very much. The story is told entirely through her point of view so it was very interesting to see this lonely person find her way to life (albeit unknowingly). What surprised me was just how funny the novel was. This can easily become one of your favorites!

Also, I have to appreciate the cover designer of this novel. There are two covers and both of them are genuinely so amazing!

You can get your copy on Amazon.

Always Never Yours

17-year-old Megan Harper is about due for her next sweeping romance. It's inevitable—each of her relationships starts with the perfect guy and ends with him falling in love... with someone else. But instead of feeling sorry for herself, Megan focuses on pursuing her next fling, directing theater, and fulfilling her dream college's acting requirement in the smallest role possible. So when she’s cast as Juliet (yes, that Juliet) in her high school’s production, it’s a complete nightmare. Megan’s not an actress, and she’s used to being upstaged—both in and out of the theater. Then she meets Owen Okita, an aspiring playwright inspired by Rosaline from Shakespeare's R+J. A character who, like Megan, knows a thing or two about short-lived relationships. Megan agrees to help Owen with his play in exchange for help catching the eye of a sexy stagehand/potential new boyfriend. Yet Megan finds herself growing closer to Owen, and wonders if he could be the Romeo she never expected.

I was going into the novel fully expecting it to be cheesy or even cringey and got out surprisingly loving it’s realistic portrayal of human emotions. My favorite part was the female character and her straight-forward way of thinking, even though it sometimes prevented her from becoming vulnerable. If you are a Shakespeare nerd, I guarantee that you’ll have a ball reading this one.

You can get your copy on Amazon - paperback or kindle.

The Sun Is Also A Star

Natasha: I’m a girl who believes in science and facts. Not fate. Not destiny. Or dreams that will never come true. I’m definitely not the kind of girl who meets a cute boy on a crowded New York City street and falls in love with him. Not when my family is twelve hours away from being deported to Jamaica. Falling in love with him won’t be my story. Daniel: I’ve always been the good son, the good student, living up to my parents’ high expectations. Never the poet. Or the dreamer. But when I see her, I forget about all that. Something about Natasha makes me think that fate has something much more extraordinary in store—for both of us. The Universe: Every moment in our lives has brought us to this single moment. A million futures lie before us. Which one will come true?

Another book that I expected to dislike but surprisingly didn’t. I hate insta-love stories, but weirdly enough this one seemed convincing to me. The characters were likable and do keep in mind that the demographic the novel was trying to reach was young adult and it worked perfectly for that in my opinion. One particularly great thing about the writing-style is the fantastic use of different POVs (point-of-view). If you've ever wondered about the life of those strangers that you only meet for 10 minutes or cross on the street, then I think you’ll particularly enjoy this one.

You can get your copy on Amazon.

My Oxford Year

Set amidst the breathtaking beauty of Oxford, this sparkling debut novel tells the unforgettable story about a determined young woman eager to make her mark in the world and the handsome man who introduces her to an incredible love that will irrevocably alter her future—perfect for fans of JoJo Moyes and Nicholas Sparks.

I went into this book expecting just another rom-com, my bad. I should have paid more attention to the fact that they mentioned Nicholas Sparks on the back cover and you should too because otherwise the second half will completely take you by surprise. This book has all the elements of a giddy romance - Oxford, with it’s Harry Potter-esque interiors, English poetry and amazing fleshed out characters. It will also (probably) break your heart, so keep the tissues close by.

You can get your copy on Amazon - paperback or kindle.

Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating

Hazel Camille Bradford knows she’s a lot to take—and frankly, most men aren’t up to the challenge. If her army of pets and thrill for the absurd don’t send them running, her lack of filter means she’ll say exactly the wrong thing in a delicate moment. Their loss. She’s a good soul in search of honest fun. Josh Im has known Hazel since college, where her zany playfulness proved completely incompatible with his mellow restraint. From the first night they met—when she gracelessly threw up on his shoes—to when she sent him an unintelligible email while in a post-surgical haze, Josh has always thought of Hazel more as a spectacle than a peer. But now, ten years later, after a cheating girlfriend has turned his life upside down, going out with Hazel is a breath of fresh air. Not that Josh and Hazel date. At least, not each other. Because setting each other up on progressively terrible double blind dates means there’s nothing between them...right?

This is my second Christina Lauren novel and well, I had a ball reading it just as you’re supposed to with any of their novels. This one, in particular, stands out because not only is it well written but the characters felt oddly realistic. The first chapter did feel like the book will probably filled with all kinds of tropes because the female character is so fashionably eccentric but thankfully, non of that happened. It’ll make for an amazing weekend read!

You can get your copy on Amazon - paperback or kindle.

Vision In White

Childhood friends Mackensie, Parker, Laurel and Emmaline have formed a very successful wedding planning business together but, despite helping thousands of happy couples to organise the biggest day of their lives, all four women are unlucky in love. Photographer Mackensie Elliot has suffered a tough childhood and has a bad relationship with her mother, which makes her wary of commitment. But when she meets Carter Maguire, she can't stop herself falling for him, although his ex-girlfriend is prepared to play dirty to keep him. Mackensie soon realizes she has to put her past demons to rest in order to find lasting love...

This is first of the four in the Bride Quartet series and while I would literally suggest all four of them, just give this one a try first. There are a lot of things I like about this book, the main being the sisterhood that is majorly present in the entire series. Secondly, even though the female character has a dysfunctional family that leads her to being kinda sorta commitment-phobic, I like the relationship showcased is so healthy. Normally, in romantic books, there’s a lot of miscommunication to drive the plot ahead but this book works a nice example of how to showcase a healthy couple even if one of them (or both of them) are fighting internal battles. It’s a perfect cozy read!

You can get your copy on Amazon - paperback or kindle.

Practice Makes Perfect

Payton Kendall and J.D. Jameson are lawyers who know the meaning of objection. A feminist to the bone, Payton has fought hard to succeed in a profession dominated by men. Born wealthy, privileged, and cocky, J.D. has fought hard to ignore her. Face-to-face, they're perfectly civil. They have to be. For eight years they have kept a safe distance and tolerated each other as coworkers for one reason: to make partner at the firm. But all bets are off when they're asked to join forces on a major case. Though apprehensive at first, they begin to appreciate each other's dedication to the law— and the sparks between them quickly turn into attraction. But the increasingly hot connection does not last long when they discover that only one of them will be named partner. Now it's an all-out war. And the battle between the sexes is bound to make these lawyers hot under the collar...

This is one of the best workplace romances that I have come across and would highly recommend to everyone interested in that genre. It is a little cliche but it’s not trope-heavy which is definitely a plus. It has the right amount of heat and character development that a good fluffy contemporary demands. It’s just nice, fun ride!

You can get your copy on Amazon.

By The Book

An English professor struggling for tenure discovers that her ex-fiancé has just become the president of her college—and her new boss—in this whip-smart modern retelling of Jane Austen’s classic Persuasion.

If you couldn’t tell by now, I’m a sucker for Jane Austen re-tellings and unlike Unmarriageable, I really liked this one a lot. As I mentioned above, you can’t have your expectations with re-tellings high, but even if you expect some genuinely nice exploration of relationships (like Austen used to do, among other things), but in a modern setting then I think you will really like it. The fact that it’s completely from the female character’s point of view, makes the writing a lot more intimate. Give it a read, you may like it.

You can get your copy on Amazon.

The Upside of Unrequited

Seventeen-year-old Molly Peskin-Suso knows all about unrequited love—she’s lived through it twenty-six times. She crushes hard and crushes often, but always in secret. Because no matter how many times her twin sister, Cassie, tells her to woman up, Molly can’t stomach the idea of rejection. So she’s careful. Fat girls always have to be careful. Then a cute new girl enters Cassie’s orbit, and for the first time ever, Molly’s cynical twin is a lovesick mess. Meanwhile, Molly’s totally not dying of loneliness—except for the part where she is. Luckily, Cassie’s new girlfriend comes with a cute hipster-boy sidekick. Will is funny and flirtatious and just might be perfect crush material. Maybe more than crush material. And if Molly can win him over, she’ll get her first kiss and she’ll get her twin back. There’s only one problem: Molly’s coworker Reid. He’s an awkward Tolkien superfan with a season pass to the Ren Faire, and there’s absolutely no way Molly could fall for him. Right?

Even though personally, I wasn’t the biggest fan of the book because I just didn’t find it engaging enough, I do know that a lot of you out there might love. Not only does it have wonderful LGBTQ+ representation, but there aren’t a lot of book written about introverted young girls who love romance but have zero first-hand experience with it. I liked that it was fairly realistic and the characters were fleshed out. I’d say give it a try, you never know, may find yourself in Molly.

You can get your copy on Amazon.

[the-nysh]

Bkdk fic recs? Not any particular genre/setting; just stories that you fell in love with.

Ohoo!! *___* Yes, do I have a handful of them! Time to go through mypersonal notes and share what I’ve saved!

First up are some of my fav prolificauthors (and their well-known, must-read fics), whose attention to detail, emotionaldepth, and characterizations I trust and therefore I would read anything they write of the pair:

 @atomicblonde/lalazee (Blood Moon), for writingsome of the most riveting emotional roller coasters, whose power with words anddialogue can both raze mountains and completely swoon you asunder with theirintensity. All her fics are worth reading (and there are plenty!) But I thinkthe one that particularly touched me most was Ugly Beautiful. :’)

@driftingglass (Before Midnight), forwriting some of the most immersive stories coiled with gripping and buildingtension, both plot wise and relationship wise. Also has one of the mostdescriptive and intense voices. And for writing a Deku with thedetermined/defiant agency he deserves.    

@soulestring/soulstring(Falling, I feel you), for some ofthe most emotionally raw & vulnerable scenes of feelings realization I’veseen. Through all the extensive denial, fear, reluctance, and passion towardslove. Chronic emotional constipation at its crippling worst and most beautifullyrewarding. Oho, I’ve reread these many times for just how strongly they stuckwith me. (Also features Kiri as a valuable mvp, oh thank goodness

@osakakitty (Make Every Moment Last,Like the Moon), mmm,for a finesse with sweeping/honest tenderness with enough resonance to make oneweep. I know many readers who have fallen victim to it. Not from sadness, butfrom just how thoroughly touching and profound her stories are. :’) What ablessing, indeed.  

@kanaevr/Kanae_vR(The Space Between), forwriting with an awareness and careful handling of both the characters and plotthat I could best describe as sincere.The detailed realism and slice of life aspects are both relatable and fun, which contribute towards a whole,well-rounded package that is thoroughly engaging to read.  

Next, aside from the many works available from the authors above, are some fav individual fics that I’mparticularly fond of:

In the Eye of the Storm by @cheshirebutton,THE iconic naga au. If there’s one fic in the fandom I’d consider my fav, I think it’d be this one. Which I’ve read 5+ times, and would definitely reread again. 8D Ilove it that much. Everything is handled with so much impressive quality and care;almost anything introduced has a purpose that will become relevant again later(which is why rereading is so fun). From the impeccable world building to thecharacterizations, the absolute stakes and peril involved that drives them towardsbelievable, life-altering decisions (the weightthey must consider between duty and personal feelings)…from the wedges thatkept them stubbornly apart, towards a curious magnetism and blooming/meaningfulsolidarity that brings them closer together even stronger. :’)) This is classicenemies to reluctant allies to lovers done beautifully, and has me convinced oftheir mutual feelings 1000%. Omg, they feel somuch. ;A; Whenever there’s a ch update I have to immediately dropeverything because it’s just thatgood, ahhh.

Hunting the Past by Justaperson1718, theassassin and blackmailed!bodyguard au! 8D Which happens to be my fav actionfic. It’s so smart and fast-paced, from all the convoluted planning and tensesteps involved to set things right, damn! We have these expertly specializedpros, extremely capable in their respective fields…but who are also fumblingdorks unaccustomed to sorting out their feelings and properly communicating(esp after all the conditioning/exp they’ve been through). It’s so fun to watch them executemissions and then transition to the domestic (yet still very muchliving on edge) down time with them learning to bond while taking care ofKouta. Unexpected surrogate action parents due to dire circumstances, aha!  

The Mummy by Spectra, my favadventure fic. A retelling of the classic movie, but done so well and with style. Probably some of the most genuine fun I’vehad reading fics in this fandom, ahaha what a riot. XD From the crazyshenanigans they get caught up in to the wholesome heh copious amount ofbonding from their time together. Truly, all scenes are extremely well paced andallotted for the type of ‘meat’ readers are in for. Kacchan is so comically (andseriously) overprotective of Deku, omg I love it. (Considering the endlesstypes of human & undead enemies after them, ahh!) Bonus, Kiri is such a goodaccompanying bro, what a delight.

Some Read It For The Articlesby low_commotion,for some of the nerdiest awkward dork bonding, from their shared seriousinterest in hero mags, to their more hands-on practical applications in the gymtogether (ayyy!! ;D)…all while everyone else in the class assumes it���s over‘something else’ and blows it out of proportion (oho~ but things ARE slowlyhappening!) It’s such a hilarious and witty slow burn scenario where they helpeach other improve, but I think what really shines are the faithfulcharacterizations. Deku has such a distinct rambling headspace, and while thepov is limited, the respectable merits inherent to Kacchan’s character stillshine…like ahh, that’s it; that’s why he’s a fav. A very fun and unique ficindeed!  

Just Like The Comics by brichibi,oh man!! The angst and feels truly got me in this ‘what-if’ scenario where Dekunever earned ofa, never went to U.A., and slowly became so jaded/bitter athaving to settle for something other than his dream, his growing envywitnessing Kacchan achieve his burned too much to bear. It’s such a fascinating and segmented Deku characterstudy where he has to discover what he really wants in life, with plenty ofmeta jabs at canon that had me going whoa!!! :O Plus Kacchan is as patient andaccommodating to Deku’s pace as he can be. :’) (Which…became another point ofcontention for Deku, to not hold him back from becoming the best…yet I love the counter, ‘I don’thave everything; I don’t have you.’ fuufjgkgh!!! ;A;)

And now even MORE fics that I like/enjoy, which have caught my attention, orthat I’m currently eagerly waiting for more updates:

warm hands and shipwreck on the red sea byflowercafeAHHHHH!!! Warm hands features my most fav headcanon: heated quirk musclemassages. (Omg it’s so tender/intimate; I’m so weak ;A;) While shipwreck featuresshark mer!Kacchan! 8D I love the realistic attention to detail/descriptions andpenchant for marine biology, ohh it has such an immersive Life of Pi feel. (Pluswelcome room for spice, oho.) Actually, all this author’s works are great withtheir extremely strong starts, definitely keeping watch!

under a hollow sun by umbrage, probablymy personal choice for the classic fantasy au most faithfully adapted (YESSfinally one that matches what I’d been searching for 8’D with a fun supportiveKiri too! *grovels at author’s feet*) Many classmates are incorporated in a fun way too! (Authoralso wrote another fic featuring funny accidental quirk misfire during certain…activitiesand dang, I wish more authors would make use of that too, ahaha! XD)  

springtime of youth by claimedbydaryl,I’m extremely fond of the last chapter, for how realistic and awkwardly naturalthe approach is, definitely left a lasting impression.  

Incandescent Snow by Chicory, acarefully crafted au and scenario that is gorgeous and tentative, with well-madeoc’s who contribute their unique pov’s of the boys’ growing relationship.  

Collision by stardustacademia(cosmiclarents), one of the most thorough and in-depth looks into Kacchan’spsyche and angst I’ve seen, but it’s unfortunately been deleted. :’(( Noting itanyway for remembrance’s sake.

Ambivalent by bakuboi ohdang this was such a unique approach to Kacchan’s pov and source of his anger I’veseen, and impressive writing insight for being anime-only too.

A Haze of Crystal by semiautomatichearts,ooh I really enjoyed the emotional depth in this one; the author has anotherhanahaki story I’m keeping an eye on as well.

how he should’ve known (andhow it turned out) by vannral, theirapproach to the classic fake dating trope caught my attention, but all theirworks are fun and worth checking out too! :D Def keeping an eye on their stuff.

The Devil Blues by iknewamantheir police detective au is so fun and well done; oho those sparks fly! They’vewritten more stuff with unique/interesting approaches I’ve enjoyed too.

Map of Scars by Celestialgunfireopera,ohh :’)) a very touching and vulnerable moment, through particular intimacy andacknowledgment of past actions previously left unsaid. That type of meaningful tendernessand skinship really hits the spot.  

By Design by EtherealBeing(also author of Bluebird), this one is such a unique idea/premise I have not seenbefore! :O Extremely fascinated to see where it’s going.

Izuku’s Home for Wayward Petsby glamour_weeb,wolfdog-hybrid rescue and rehab au, omg it’s so charming and wholesome. :’3  

Shadows and Gold by Sonday, thedesert prince/servant au, whoa!!  

Fireflies for the Moon byBestTankTopist (Keyade), the historical samurai au! Definitely got my eyes onit for more.  

Lunch on Tuesdays by @rironomind,and of course, I have to rec my buddy for her casual, slice of life take ofthese disaster dumbasses that is both fun and surprisingly bold (for tackling that topic in a way no one else has)with authentic Japanese flair (only rom could think of the meaningful gesture ofDeku sitting in seiza, like wow why have I not seen anyone else incorporatesuch behavior before, dang). Thanks so much, rom.

And there we go! Hopefully that’s a big enough handful of fics toappreciate, as I’ve read plenty more where these came from. :’D There are somany talented writers and amazing fics in the fandom worth all the support!  

[recentanimenews]

The GREAT CRUNCHYROLL Re:ZERO REWATCH Kicks Off With Episodes 1-5

Welcome to the GREAT CRUNCHYROLL Re:ZERO REWATCH! I'm Jared Clemons, and I'll be your host this week as we make our way through Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-. Last week, we answered our initial questions about the series, and this week we began episodes 1-5.

  Going into Re:ZERO, for the most part blind, made for some surprising moments in just these first five episodes alone. I wasn’t expecting Subaru to just switch worlds with seemingly nothing happening to him in his original world. Nor did I think constantly redoing periods of time would be a thing. Somehow, that aspect of the show completely passed me by when it was airing a few years ago. I’m not completely bought into Subaru as a hero quite yet. There’s something about him that just feels fake or off to me. Maybe that’s the point though. I’m sure I'll figure that out along with everyone else over the course of the next four weeks. Regardless, I’m interested to see where this whole thing goes and why this has the reputation it does. Gotta figure out who made Subaru turn into mush at the end of episode 5, which I have some theories about.

    Before we discuss these episodes, let's check out some questions and comments you had from our last installment!

  Acapo asks: “so how are these rewatch things decided? Do we vote somewhere? Or...”

  We came to a consensus together as the Features team. While taking suggestions from you guys wouldn’t be a bad idea, we have tentatively booked ourselves for the next two Rewatches, so it’ll be awhile before we could ask for ideas.

  MachaiArcanum asks: “So how exactly does this rewatch thing work exactly? This is the first time I’ve heard of it and I’m not sure what exactly is going on.”

  So, we are going to watch five episodes each week and you'll get to read the Features team's thoughts and opinions on that set of episodes. We welcome all of you to watch along with us and you can ask questions or give your comments about these episodes similarly to what we're doing. Plus, you can be featured in this segment of the Rewatch as well!

  Deatherz007 says: “Time for Subaru to suffer once more”

  Only a little bit.

    Now, let's see what the Crunchyroll Features team thought of this week's episodes!

  We kick things off with, depending on the version you’re watching, two episode ones or a longer episode one. Did this longer episode do a good job of introducing you to the world of Re:ZERO? Would you have liked it to have been shorter or cut down in specific spots?

  David: The only thing I would change is the cut in the middle being completely abrupt. You can imagine a commercial break there or something but having no transition at all makes it feel very odd.

  Austin: I wouldn’t say it introduces the world of Re:ZERO well so much as it introduces the slums and the characters well while making the capital feel as huge as it is. That said, I really like longer first episodes of anime since they’re great for setting the tone and almost always make me want to watch more right away.

  René: I’m with Austin on this. Longer episodes really give you that opportunity to establish a proper mood and mindset for a show that is way harder to accomplish with only 20 minutes. Whenever an anime serves me a double-length episode, it immediately piques my interest since it’s obviously something special if it gets this kind of production treatment.

  Kevin: It’s a bit hard for my to say, since this is my third or fourth time watching the show, so I already know a lot more about the world than I should. I’ll say that I like some of the worldbuilding that they hint at, like mentioning Satella and the Jealous Witch early on. As for stuff that could be cut down, I’ve always felt like while a bunch of stuff is repeated due to the time loope mechanic, very little is actually wasted, and speeding much of it up would make things fly by too quickly. 

  Carolyn: I thought the point of it was not so much to introduce the world but to set up the storytelling device of semi-time travel and constantly dying, which it did very well.

    Paul: I watched the Japanese version with English subtitles, and while I was initially lukewarm on the premise, I must admit that the first two episodes hooked me. From what I've seen, I think Re:ZERO works best when it's structured like a horror movie or a murder mystery, and these early episodes demonstrate a lot of that.

  Joshua: I think for the story Re:ZERO is trying to tell, and the emotional depth it’s trying to tell it with, a standard 25-ish minute introduction would have been nowhere near as effective. We had to learn not only of Return by Death, but the impact it has on Subaru, and there’s really only one way to do that (over and over again!). This hefty run-time even came without an explanation for Subaru being isekai’d! While Truck-kun won’t be getting a paycheck this time, and there was no other crazy reason like other shows in the genre, I actually respect how Re:ZERO skipped a convoluted set-up in favor of what actually matters right now. I felt that the double episode gave me a firm anchor on the characters and their feelings, which is a useful connection to make early on.

  Noelle: I think the setup was effective enough. I haven’t seen this show before, and I don’t know anything about it, but the first few episodes delivered enough information to get me interested, but not enough to give me all the answers, and that’s fine. I don’t think the world as a whole has been introduced, because it’s still filtered through our protag’s eyes, but we don’t need an opening history lesson in this case. 

  Danni: I thought it worked really well as a two-parter. It was a long, but effective, introduction to the world and Subaru’s predicament as a whole. It also managed to do so without any big exposition dumps, which I really appreciated. 

  Kara: Nothing felt wasted or overly long in that first episode. As others have said, there was a lot to set up, and going for the standard 22-minute runtime wouldn’t necessarily have allowed for enough room to lay things out adequately. I wasn’t checking the time at all, which is always my high sign for what feels decently paced.

    Subaru quickly learns that he is reliving time after getting killed. Since you may have known about this already, what did you think about how it was executed in these episodes? Was anime Groundhog Day what you were expecting and do you think it’s been explained well thus far?

  David: It takes him a few times in to figure it out, I was actually kind of surprised to realize how many times he went through it before he understood he was going through the same day over and over again. That said, I think it’s well explained because of how natural it comes to Subaru. The show literally starts with him realizing he has been isekai’d, but it takes him a while to realize he is reliving scenarios.

  Austin: “Quickly”, he says… Sarcasm aside, I think it was done well since it adds a kind of unique weight to everything. Sure, Subaru can die with relatively low risk, but I tense up every time he gets in a fight or near anything sharp and pointy since I really don’t want to see the poor guy have to suffer both another death and having to redo a section of time but this time figure out what he did wrong.

  René: The gruesomeness of his deaths are what really sells the memetic “suffering” part of this show. Yes, it may be of little consequence for him to die but the way his deaths are depicted just really shows you how painful it actually is and moves it away from just being a videogame-y element as in many other isekai shows.

  Kevin: Once Subaru finally realized his power, I looked down into the episode comments and saw “out of everything that has happened it’s the chips that make him realize what’s going on,” and that pretty much sums up Re:ZERO. The time loops make sense, and they keep happening in part because the main character is either too stupid or stubborn to stop dying. As for what I was expecting when I first watched the show, I remember quite appreciating how much Subaru tries to learn each time he dies, using past loops to influence how he acts in the current loop. He’s genre savvy enough to know that if he does things the exact same, then the same outcome will happen, but human enough that he can’t repeat things exactly, which then leads to different outcomes. The actual ability hasn’t really been explained yet, but it’s easy enough to get a grasp of how it works.

  Carolyn: I was trying to figure out if he actually died on what we would consider Earth? That seems pretty clear but it’s not totally cut and dry, I guess. If so, is he in Heaven/Purgatory/whathaveyou? I’m still kind of stuck on that.

    Paul: The mechanics of Subaru's “Return by Death” ability haven't been explained at all, although I have an inkling of how it works as a result of encountering some spoilers years ago. I think the series works best when it leans heavily on the dramatic irony, to the point where neither the audience nor the main character knows exactly what is going on. It's satisfying when something unexpected happens.

  Joshua: I really liked how Subaru didn’t twig it the first time, so we could join in his confusion as he tried to figure out exactly what was happening to him. It does make a little sad that some neat conversations are lost to everyone but Subaru though; like his chat with Old Man Rom. So I hope the series is able to counterbalance that loss of character development as it moves forward.

  René made a great point about the impacts of Subaru’s many deaths though. In fact, my Mum walked in on me watching one of them and called it “horrific”! It’d be easy for a show like this to lose all sense of any stakes if viewers become too comfortable with Subaru simply waking up at the last “save point”, but seeing the physical and emotional pain each death causes him, really makes me want to see him break the loops!

  Noelle: I wouldn’t call him keying in quick by any means, but then again, it takes people some time to process information, especially if it’s been after a traumatic experience. I don’t think the deaths themselves are that gruesome all things considering (I do watch a lot of horror), but they do a great job at showing Subaru’s terror. When you’re a kid with no combat experience, going up against very experienced enemies, that’s only inevitable…

  Danni: This is my first time watching it, but I actually didn’t realize it was a Groundhog Day situation until we started planning out this rewatch in the group chat. I think it worked about how you’d expect with him taking a few runs to really understand what was happening. Honestly the only thing in the premise I took issue with was how quickly he was on board with suddenly being summoned to a parallel world and a tiny bit put off by how self-aware he was of isekai tropes. 

  Kara: I literally had no idea. Time loops are one of my favorite narrative devices to see played with. If I’d known this was a major part of the concept of Re:ZERO I probably would have come to it of my own volition much sooner.

    Since we’re now 20% (yes, that does sound weird) of the way through Re:ZERO, give me your thoughts on Subaru as a protagonist so far. What do you like or dislike about him? Is his heroism heartfelt or insincere?

  David: So this is actually my favorite part about this show—Subaru’s “heroism” isn’t “heroic” as much as it is “altruistic”. He doesn’t do things because he expects rewards, but because his actions will help make the world around him better in some way. Emilia is the same, and their conversation on the bridge in the first episode highlights this.

  Austin: I really like Subaru at this point, and I think these early episodes do a good job of painting him as a sympathetic character. He’s seemingly selfless to a fault and just wants to make Emilia happy since in turn that’ll make him happy.

  René: These first few episodes do a great job divorcing Subaru from your run-of-the-mill isekai protagonist. Not only is there seemingly no actual reason for him to be isekai’d as he just randomly pops up, it also undermines every heroic deed he tries to accomplish almost immediately. It really drives home the fact that he is just your regular guy who doesn’t get to be The Chosen One simply because he came to this world.

  Kevin: Oh boy are we going to have a lot to talk about in a few weeks. For now, Subaru is goofy and driven and as a result is generally likable. At the same time, he clearly has no idea what to do to move forward, so is just fumbling around until something catches his eye. He’s basically like a lost puppy, so that helps to endear the audience and characters to him. His heroism is heartful, just misguided. He wants to help Emilia, but he has no actual reason to. 

  Carolyn: I immediately saw him as the Deadpool of Isekai. Deadpool knows he’s in a comic and all the tropes that come with it, Subaru knows all the tropes that come with this strange new land he’s in. I found that to be entertaining. As for his intentions, I think he’s been very straightforward about that. He’s sincere, but his motivations aren’t entirely noble. He will help others but does intend to get something out of it. He’s just honest about that.

    Paul: I like Subaru more than I expected to, although I don't know whether that's because he's well-written or because of the pathos evoked by his Job-like suffering. His biggest flaw seems to be that he keeps treating the world like a video game, and he doesn't realize that he is not the protagonist. Subaru also doesn't realize that his affection for Emilia is one-sided. He mistakes her basic empathy for romantic interest, and as someone who made the same mistake as a dumb teenager, I can only see that ending poorly.

  Joshua: I’m honestly not sure how to read Subaru. Puck keeps on saying he has no ill-intent, yet he’s usually the first to make some off-handed weird comments. He’s definitely complex, and I wouldn’t mind this becoming a recurring question each week! For now, I’d say he’s earnest but his constant self-deprecation will make others see him in a worse light. He can also be a bit too cocky at times, like his meeting with Roswaal. So I’d like to see him gain a bit more respect for others not called Emilia, and himself.

  Noelle: I’m on the fence. Subaru is by no means a bad kid, he’s nice and he sticks his neck out for other people, and he is kind deep down. At the same time, there’s a profound sense of entitlement to him, for he doesn’t seem to realize that he’s dealing with people with lives of their own, not characters. He also expects the world to revolve around him because he’s supposed to be special, and that’s pretty yikes. 

  Danni: I like him more than I thought I would, but not as much as I probably should. The fact he knows what isekai is and essentially that he’s the protagonist of an isekai anime is pretty grating. I like him more when he’s being himself than when he’s trying to be a protagonist. 

  Kara: I kind of agree with, like, literally everyone in the show that Subaru is not terribly ambitious, and I’m kind of wondering what the hell he’s been through. His “skeevy” comments don’t seem skeevy to me so much as an attempt to assume a role he thinks he’s accepted to fill. Also, he hasn’t once displayed any sort of concern about going home or missing anyone or anything from the “real” world. More than anything, I’m curious what he’s been through to the point that he’s downplaying himself so much and basically pretends his previous life doesn’t exist.

    The last two episodes of this initial set sees Subaru taken to the Roswaal mansion and beginning work there. Here, we learn a bit more about the state of the world Subaru has been summoned to and meet Rem, Ram, Beatrice, and Roswaal along with Emilia. What were your initial impressions of this cast of characters and Subaru’s interactions with them?

  David: Roswaal is the teacher in Isekai Quartet, and I forgot he was even a character in this show, so I keep hearing him and associating it more with Isekai Quartet than this show. Beatrice is great.

  Austin: When I first watched this show I saw every character sans for Emilia as kind of distant and suspicious. Now that I’m rewatching it, I realise that they all have a very good reason for being this way; one thing I really like that I noticed now that I’m rewatching is that Beatrice seems much more aware of Subaru’s situation and current death loop than he is. Also, Emilia is still as wonderful as I remember her being.

  René: The Roswaal mansion arc is what really lays the groundwork for what the show is all about for me: This isn’t a world that revolves around the protagonist but one in which he must find his place and the distant and mysterious nature of the mansion inhabitants really drives that fact home. Since we are almost exclusively kept within Subaru’s POV, it really is up to the viewer to piece together the mystery of why he is dying again. We don’t yet understand the new characters and there isn’t an obvious threat like Elsa. It’s basically a murder mystery in which the victim is also the detective.

  Also, I have to second Austin’s sentiment: Emilia truly is wonderful!

  Kevin: Pretty much what Subaru said. Oh, it’s Emilia, the twin maids, red one and blue one, and a drill loli that clearly isn’t human. Also, Roswaal, but I got that before Subaru. As for his interactions, I really like that Rem and Ram are differentiated, even this early on, and that everyone is going about their own schedules, since they actually have lives outside of tending to Subaru. Roswaal is the only one that doesn’t really get much development, and even he finds a scene or two to talk with Subaru and generally show that there is more going on than we know about.

  Carolyn: At first I didn’t like them at all. They are all very odd with a bizarre manner of speaking and behaving and I couldn’t figure it out. But after the reveals that not everything is exactly what it seems in the castle it started to make more sense and now I’m very interested in finding out what they are actually up to.

    Paul: It's fine as far as world-building goes. I appreciate that they don't dwell too much on the lore, because often those are the least interesting elements of the early set-up of an isekai story, and here we get the impression that the world is much bigger and more conflicted than Subaru fully comprehends.

  Joshua: Roswaal is just fabulous. I’ve been watching the series in Japanese, and Koyasu Takehito’s voice alone is a scene stealer. This being my first rewatch of the show in years, I was actually taken aback by how cold Rem was here, and I really appreciated Ram’s dry humor a lot more (like that sly comment about Subaru’s “sorry thing”). I can see the twins talking in unison getting very annoying very fast though, so luckily that was kept to a minimum!

  Thinking about it, Subaru and Emilia are a bit alike, aren’t they? Both have selfless qualities that they try and cover with more selfish pretenses, so I can definitely see why they’ve developed chemistry. While she can seem warm and inviting, that occasional cold glare of Emilia’s is genuinely unsettling though. It makes me wonder what kind of person she really is. Beatrice is precious though. I’d like her to guard my manga collection with that baby cactus attitude of hers!

  Noelle: I think the mansion gives us a little slice of the world at large, but isn’t enough to be overwhelming. We really don’t need to know everything after all, just enough to situate us in the situation that Subaru is currently in. I think it’s a little too early for me to gauge the mansion characters, but they’re all a pretty interesting cast. Roswaal especially. 

  Danni: None of the girls so far seem to match up to how I thought they’d be, or how they come across in all the art of them I’ve seen. I kind of expected a bunch of meek pushovers—particularly Rem and Emilia—but they all have some endearing bite to them. I especially like the antagonistic rapport between Beatrice and Subaru with both of them getting the better of each other. It’s a lot of fun watching this cast interact. 

  Kara: I’m so glad to have some good old-fashioned Koyasu madness back in my anime with Roswaal. Emilia is lovely, but Ram is still my favorite of the girls so far despite everything she seems spring-loaded to do over the course of the show. I can, uh, absolutely see why Rem is such a fave and it doesn’t do much for me. If that makes sense.

    We wrap things up with the gore factor getting ramped up and poor Subaru having to give up an arm and an eye amongst other parts to figure out why he’s going to barf city. Since this was a cliffhanger for our first group of episodes, what’s your initial theory on who this mysterious attacker could have been? (For those of you that aren’t new, if you can remember, tell me what you initially thought of this or just give me your wildest theory possible.)

  David: My first thought was Roswaal. Seems suspicious.

  Austin: I’m in a troublesome spot right now since I remember why he died the first loop and who killed him the second loop, but I don’t remember exactly why they did and it’s bothering me… The first time I watched it I thought Elsa had hired someone to go kill Subaru; not sure if I would have liked it more if that was the case or if what’s really going on remained in place.

  René: The first time watching it to this point, I actually suspected Puck. Since Knox’s 1st Commandment forbids introducing the culprit later on and I couldn’t yet deduct any possible motive for the mansion residents, Puck seemed the most likely. His fondness for and protectiveness of Emilia had already been established and jealousy would’ve made for a possible motive since Subaru started getting closer and closer to Emilia, forcing himself into her life to the point of becoming her servant.

  Kevin: It’s Beatrice. She has the power to connect the library to any door in the mansion, and so can get around without any issues; and clearly has at least enough power to throw someone out of a room without any effort, so more lethal attacks are almost certainly possible. Subaru was also acting very strange in the second mansion loop, as we saw in a couple of cutaways. Since we already know that Roswaal was wondering if he was a spy, that could be enough for him to enlist Beatrice to kill Subaru in his sleep. The first time, Subaru didn’t know to resist, while the second time he fought her magic, so she either used a more lethal attack or enlisted the other mansion staff to assist her. She attacked during the first loop, when Roswaal knew that Subaru was unlikely to be a spy, because of how much he annoyed her. The only way to progress the loop is for Subaru to tell everyone about his power, which calls Beatrice off because she knows at that point that it would be useless to attack him. 

  Carolyn: The first time he died in his sleep he was poisoned, but he was asleep so he didn’t vomit. Whoever did that (I suspect Ram, she claims to be a bad cook but is skilled with the knife so she isn’t that bad and that could be cover for her poisoning his food) poisoned him again the second loop but because he wouldn’t let himself sleep he felt more of the effects of it and vomited. He could also have built up a little bit of a resistance to it the second time around. Either way, I think the results of those two things are the same. I do not think whoever poisoned him killed/dismembered him in the second loop. That was someone different who saw an opportunity and took it. 

    Paul: Unfortunately, this is a detail that was spoiled for me long ago, so although I know who the culprit is, I don't know why they are behaving in such a brutal and murderous manner.

  Joshua: Having already watched the series, I know who, but I genuinely had no idea on my first viewing. Rather than thinking too much about it, back then I just went along with the ride.

  As I can't offer a serious guess though, I’ll just make a joke about whether Rem’s really as good a cook as she claims, and it was just a really bad reaction to off-chicken or something. Feeling really cold, vomiting… sounds like bad food poisoning to me.

  Noelle: I admit, I’m really not sure. It has to be one of the characters introduced so far, it can’t be a random stranger we haven’t seen. The problem is that I can’t quite figure out the killer’s motive. Subaru is seen as suspicious, and it’s been made clear that he hasn’t earned trust just yet, but that doesn’t seem to be a reason to kill him (at the moment). There’s a who but also a why.

  Danni: It’s definitely Ram. I have no idea if it actually is or why I think so, but it’s definitely Ram. 

  Kara: I haven’t got the first clue, but I want it to be Rem just so there can be something about her that interests me.

    Let’s continue our final question tradition with the Rewatch. Give me your highs and lows for episodes 1-5.

  David: High is the conversation between Subaru and Emilia on the bridge. That’s the thesis of the whole show I think. Low point is when Subaru almost died on the last go around of the initial day. I thought he might die and absolutely didn’t want to have to sit through that same day again.

  Austin: One of my favourite scenes in the whole show is when Subaru asks Emilia her name after the fight with Elsa. Something about the delivery of Subaru’s lines and Emilia’s little laugh before her answer makes me feel so bubbly inside. Seeing exactly why Felt gets taken away by Reinhard was also a nice connecting of dots in my head. As for lows, I don’t think I’ve really hit anything notable yet; these first episodes are really strong in my opinion.

  René: My high in these first few episodes is definitely the set-up around the mystery of Emilia posing as Satella in the first loop and the first meet-up between the Subaru with her in the second one. I just adore the shots with them being reflected in each other’s eyes and how it calls into question their perception of each other (I would heavily recommend this interview with the show’s director on this scene—do beware of SPOILERS for later episodes, though).

  And since I can’t think of a low point, I’ll just sneak in a second highlight: Takehito Koyasu’s performance as Roswaal is just deliciously exaggerated. He’s already legendary for voicing Dio Brando but the way he sings every line is just pure joy to listen to.

  Kevin: High - Subaru thinking about how he was going to die the second time, and then realizing that he was going to fight anyway. Myself and many other people joked during the series that Subaru was going to start carrying a bomb or something so that every time he messed anything up, he could just Return by Death to redo any mistake. This is a great moment though, because it both gives a reason why he won’t do that and is also extremely relatable. Even if you knew that you would come back to life, dying isn’t fun, so you’d want to avoid it if at all possible, which is exactly the conclusion that Subaru comes to. 

  Low - Elsa’s final attack. Subaru is clearly moving around, standing up straight, and generally doing a lot of things that use at least a few core muscles, and nothing happens. But when it’s convenient, it turns out that the attack went straight through the club, his clothes, and his stomach, when the club previous stopped all of her attacks and there was nothing supporting Subaru’s track suit or shirt. 

    Carolyn: High points, just the mystery and twists that have been unfolding so far. I like all the suspense around the people at the mansion. Also the line about not knowing what Subaru is talking about but that it’s stupid and that’s disappointing. That was pretty great. Low point, I’m not sure I have one but I could definitely do with more of the cat.

  Paul: My high point was Subaru awakening, noticing the lack of scars on his hands, and realizing he'd somehow died in his sleep and reset the time-line. That was a chef's kiss perfect cliffhanger to end an episode upon. My low point is that it takes Subaru a few lives too many to realize he's resetting from a save point. Anyone who brags about playing video games all day like Subaru does should have picked up on that detail by the third life, tops.

  Joshua: Subaru and Emilia doing aerobics in the garden is a definite high point, that makes me think back to the equally adorable scene with Ema in Shirobako. I also really appreciated how the series even humanises characters like Rom, instead of taking the easy route and making him a one-note shady dealer. Despite his hulking appearance, he genuinely seems like a decent guy who just got the wrong stick (or club) in life. The music is also great—that kind of eerie ringing when disturbing shenanigans are afoot is so effective at capturing the mood, and won’t leave my head.

  As for low points, how many times did we need to see that initial mugging attempt? I liked how the show always found a new absurd comment of Subaru’s for the trio to react to, but I hope the series balances just how many times certain scenarios are reset. Subaru’s exaggerated statements can also be a bit awkward, so I’m glad the rest of the cast react like I do.

  Noelle: High point: the mystery! I want to know why the time loop is happening, what’s the driving force for all of this, why Subaru in particular. We don’t really have any clear answers, and it’s the main point of the story. Tell me the answers! Low point is that Subaru takes a really long time to realize that he’s in a time loop. Isn’t he supposed to be really familiar with games? It makes sense realistically speaking but for a story, it drags a little. 

  Danni: Hard to think of a singular high point because I loved the heck out of this batch of episodes. I guess I gotta go with any time Beatrice is on screen. I love her so much. Low point is tough as well, but I have to give it to Subaru’s immediate acceptance of his new isekai life. 

  Kara: Gotta agree, the high point was Subaru waking up without the scars. That was so well played, and I loved seeing that the audience was being trusted to let the revelation hit us as it hit him. Good visual storytelling, would watch again. Honorable mention to Roswaal’s crazy voice. I thought they were playing it up in Isekai Quartet but no, that’s just how he is. Low point is I’m pretty sure Subaru and Emilia are never gonna go on this date and that makes me sad.

    COUNTERS:

Ram calling Subaru “Barusu”: 10

Subaru death count: 5

Different ways Subaru has died: Disembowelment, Disembowelment, Stabbing, Unknown, Combination (Unknown+Dismemberment)

  And that's everything for this week! Remember that you're always welcome to join us for this rewatch, especially if you haven't watched Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World- yet!

  Here's our upcoming schedule!

  -Next week, on September 27th, Kara continues the Rewatch with episodes 6-10

-Then, on October 4th, Carolyn takes us past the halfway mark with episodes 11-15

  Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Re:ZERO Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time!

    CATCH UP ON THE REWATCH:

Re:ZERO Introduction Questions

  Have anything to say about our thoughts on the episodes watched? Let us know in the comments! Don't forget, we're also accepting questions and comments for next week, so don't be shy and feel free to ask away!

---

Jared Clemons is a writer and podcaster for Seasonal Anime Checkup where he can be found always wanting to talk about Love Live! Sunshine!! or whatever else he's into at the moment. He can be found on Twitter @ragbag.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[redspiderling]

MCU Breakdown: The Avengers

I was actually working on a post for Iron Man 2, but my recent anon just made me think about the Avengers. A lot. So here’s a breakdown of the film that really got me hooked in the MCU, because of its well made inclusion of the Black Widow. I hope you’re patient, it’s very long.

This used to be my favourite Natasha. Yes, I like the Avengers Natasha more than the Winter Soldier Natasha, and that’s because this Natasha is really close to comic book Natasha, she’s a badass and she tells her own story. Winter Soldier Natasha is there to support Steve Rogers on his journey, and she didn’t punch Nick Fury in the face at the end of the film, but more on that when we get there.

This is how we meet Natasha in the Avengers movie:

It’s an illusion of course. I’ve talked about this extensively before, Black Widow is an excellent strategist and a brilliant intelligence operative, and is in control of pretty much any situation. But we don’t really know her yet (not if we haven’t seen Iron Man 2, and even there her character was really not fleshed out), and we, like the nameless goons of this scene, have probably already underestimated her. 

This scene gives us very specific information about Natasha:

a) Don’t underestimate her, because she can end you.

b) She -still- works for SHIELD as an intelligence operative.

c) She puts herself at risk for her mission. She will complain to her boss about messing with her work, but will drop said work without question for Clint. So, Natasha’s priorities look like this:

Friends> Mission> SHIELD> Personal safety/health

d) She is aware of her strengths and weaknesses, i.e. she knows Stark is still pissed off at her because of the whole Natalie thing, and she makes this face when she realises they ask her to go find the Hulk:

Very strong intro for a spectacular character. They knew it was good, which is why they put this scene right after the “prologue”. So far so good.

(note: I think one of the reasons Scarlett loves Natasha as much as she does, is because she probably constantly faces people who underestimate her. Who see a beautiful woman and nothing more, and she just wishes she could use the thighs of death on them. Or knock them out with a crowbar.)

We are now in India where Dr. Banner is hiding. This young girl has been sent to fetch him. Black Widow has a plan.

She knows Banner is... sensitive. She knows he might not react well to what she has to say, so:

First, she gets him to as much of a secluded place as possible, in order to avoid as many casualties as she can, in case things go south. She uses a young girl as her messenger to manipulate him for 2 reasons:

1) because she knew he would be unable to refuse to offer help to a child

2) because by comparing herself to a young helpless girl, wins her sympathy points with the doctor.

She also makes sure to assume the identity of an ordinary woman, and tries to make an intimate setting, to make him feel more at ease. She literally sets up a scene and all its pieces.

Her costume was also carefully chosen. Layered, so she can give him the illusion of sharing herself, of becoming more intimate. When she tells him she’s been a spy since childhood, and that they are there talking, just the 2 of them, she takes off the shawl. Notice of course again, how she tries to make him underestimate her, by sharing a part of her painful past. She doesn’t mind causing herself physical or psychological pain, to get to her goal.

She introduces herself with her real name, of course, and after explaining she works for SHIELD, she uses the word “we”. SHIELD is a faceless organisation, and she has now given it the face of a young, traumatised woman. 

When Banner asks “What if I say no?” she smiles, and replies “I’ll persuade you”. She wants to let him know, that she can exercise control over him. She knows he won’t mind now that they have gotten chummier.

When Banner asks “What if the other guy says no?” she replies “You’ve been more than a year without an incident, I don’t think you’d want to break that streak”. She puts him in control of the Hulk, and at the same time challenges him to keep his cool.

Don’t think this is not working, it’s working perfectly. Banner is now relaxed, and says “I don’t always get what I want”. He’s opening up. He thinks he’s sitting down with a friend and they’re having a conversation about their feelings.

But Natasha will have none of that. Remember, priorities. The moment she realises he’s lax, she latches on the reason she’s actually there for. Sorry doc, I’m not actually here to help you resolve your issues. She mentions the global catastrophe because if he doesn’t want to participate she’s going to guilt trip him into participating because, let’s face it doc, world safety> psychological issues.

Bruce is really not happy with the reason she’s actually there for. That’s when she mentions the science stuff, which she uses as the final hook, and of course, it works.

He is disbelieving of the fact that they need him, for him, which is sad for Bruce of course, because he’s a brilliant man who has beer worn down by his circumstances, and it is also very telling of his mistrust towards any kind of authority, which is why Natasha chooses to separate herself from said authority now. When he pressures her on her information, she passes the ball on to Fury. This way, any anger is directed at a person far away, and she can still keep herself in his good books, and the atmosphere can hopefully remain friendly.

Nonetheless, she can feel he’s angry. Or antsy. Or something. Which is why she leans over the table to reach for her phone, and when he bursts out, she’s at the perfect spot to pull out the gun she had hidden under the table.

Now, this is what I don’t like:

Bruce proclaims: “Stop lying to me!” Considering the fact that he actually believes her on the “the world is at risk, we need you” thing, and also on the fact that her knowledge of what exactly he will be asked to do for SHIELD, I am left to wonder, what is the lies she’s told him that upset him?

Natasha hasn’t lied to him. What she has done, is create the correct circumstances that would allow her to have a conversation with him. She has played on what information she has on his personality, to get him to relax. And that’s what he has a problem with. But really Bruce, she told you she works for SHIELD straight on, did you really think she was there so you two could talk about your feelings over a bottle of red? Were you really that insulted by the fact that she didn’t just walk up to you in the middle of the day and say “Hey bro, I’m with SHIELD”, but went through an elaborate plan like this to get you to talk with her?

His pride was hurt, because the pretty lady was actually there on business and the intimacy of the scene was an illusion. So he reacted as any male would. He wanted to prove that in the end, he has the upper hand. How does he have the upper hand? He can kill her if he wants. 

“I just wanted to see what you’d do” is bullshit talk for “are you afraid?”. 

High praises for the one and only Natasha Romanoff, who yes, is afraid, but is staring him down the barrel of her gun anyway. We love you Natasha!

On Bruce’s defence, he does recognise that it was a dick move and apologises. Not that I, or Natasha, forgive him. He thinks he calls it a truce when he says “I’ll keep the other guy in, you put the gun down”.

He also thinks he’s the injured party here, because there were armed men in the premises. Dude, you’re the Hulk.

Clearly Bruce has -a lot- of issues to work through, but that’s for one of his own fans to work on, I’m going to focus on our girl, who makes this face in reply to his sarcastic “just you and me?”:

which roughly translates to “are you for real?” But seriously. She’s trying to regain her composure after the doctor faked his rage. That disbelieving, horrified look, should have been there in AoU as well, but well.

Can I just also mention that it’s very telling of the Black Widows skills, that she goes after the Hulk, while Coulson gets Stark and Fury, Steve Rogers?

This is how it would go, if they had asked Natasha to take care of Stark: *Natasha calls Pepper, tells Pepper what’s down, Pepper takes care of Tony*

Or Steve Rogers: *Natasha walks up to him in the gym, offers him a better workout, and after a few rounds on the mat are over and pleasantries have been exchanged, Steve recognises her as a hard-as-shell brilliant fighter who, instead of pissing him off with plans of grandeur involving the tesseract like Fury did, simply tells him, hey Cap, this was fished out the water and stolen, sorry but you need to help us steal it back, and he does.*

Natasha is very casual and cool when she eventually meets Cap. Keeping in mind that he just spent an entire plane ride with his biggest fan, she tries not to make a big deal out of his arrival. Again, she wants him to feel at ease. She doesn’t dodge the subject of his continued existence but she does show kindness, and instead of rubbing salt in his wounds like Fury did, she makes jokes about Coulson: the Fanboy.

She also switches to SHIELD Agent mode when Banner gets there, and watches their reactions to the Helicarrier for her own personal amusement.

I resent the fact that Banner made such a big deal out of the theatrics put in place to get him to cooperate with Natasha, but thanks Fury for “asking nicely”. Men.

Let’s not forget why Natasha is here and not somewhere in Russia having fun with her playthings. 

I would also like to point out, that Fury is the one who, once again, makes Natasha, specifically, take Banner to the lab.

She’s not happy with that, because she didn’t look at either of them while she followed Fury’s orders. And if you think even for a moment, that Fury wasn’t deliberate, you’re mistaken. And if you think it’s weird, you’re right. And before anyone rushes off to name him matchmaker, trust me, he’s not. He just knows Bruce’s weakness and doesn’t give a shit about Natasha’s.

“Guy’s all over the place”, as in, he has a reindeer helmet, he’s a nut-job.

That smile goes to the fact that Stark is actually holding no ill feelings, and also, who better to deal with a highly intelligent nut-job with daddy issues, that another highly intelligent nut-job with daddy issues?

This scene shows another aspect of her character, that of the agent who can work from the sidelines offering support to a team (and report back to SHIELD). Natasha wasn’t there to fight, she was there to observe. Let’s not forget, she was the one who interviewed Stark for the Avengers, Fury trusts her to juggle the team dynamics, that was her role, to see how they worked together.

Natasha is there for Thor when he needs a reality check, and not-so-silently judges.

And now to my favourite bit :D

Loki smiles when he understands she’s there. He has considerable insight into her character, due to the fact that he had Clint under his control, and he knows she’s no walk in the park, so he doesn’t mind complementing her on the fact that she managed to sneak up on him.

Natasha also has prepared herself for battle, which is why she approaches him as the Black Widow.

Just look how the Black Widow dominates the scene. He’s in a prison cell, she looks down on him, she’s in complete control. From here on, whatever happens in that room, happens because she allowed it.

Loki on the other hand, quite idiotically misreads the information he has on her because of what? Her sex? He really thought a woman named Black Widow would act as a balm? Oh no my friend, you will need balms after she’s done with you. 

Natasha came in after Fury failed, to get the information they needed out of him. She is clearly the best operative he has, and he always hands her the most difficult parts of any situation that needs to be dealt with perfectly.

We can see by the film language alone, the difference in characters. Natasha stands in front of the cell, and still, we are made to see it as if she’s looking down on him from above. She’s at the centre of the frame and dominates the scene. Fury is standing back, and on the side of the frame while Loki is in the centre, his posture very relaxed.

In any case, Natasha uses a different approach to Loki. Instead of discussing the big issue, she makes this personal. She makes it seem as if she’s just here for Clint. She has caught on Loki’s perception of her as deadly but decidedly female, and works on it.

When they are finally on equal footing, it’s because she has allowed it to be so. Therefore, she still has the upper hand, but chooses to make it seem as if she doesn’t.

It’s ridiculous how easily Natasha handles the flow of their discussion. She mentions Clint, and Loki readily tries to mock her. Loki loves feeling empowered, and the fact that he might have something that is of value to this woman, makes him feel good about himself. 

He wants to taunt her, and flaunt his dominance. So Natasha lets him. He wants to play psychiatrist, he sits down, and Natasha follows suit, “opening up” to him, exposing what he has presumed to be her weakness.

I love the details of Scarlett’s performance here. She hesitates, before beginning telling her story, as if this is difficult for her, to share these details. We, watching this for the first time, expected to hear some exposition about the character. We didn’t know at the time that this was Black Widow playing with her food. We were Loki, in this scene.

“Before I worked for SHIELD I... well, I made a name for myself.”

I love her sly smile in that moment, and how she settles in the chair like a big cat. Black Widow has done some pretty horrible stuff, but in that moment, Natasha looks back on her life and relishes in the fact that all that pain has led her here, in a position to con the God of lies. And she likes that. 

I know later on Marvel likes to tell us about how far Natasha is willing to go for redemption, and how ashamed she is for what she has done, blah, blah, blah. But the truth is, she was brainwashed. I think it’s cool that now that she doesn’t work for the bad guys anymore, she should be able to enjoy being a super awesome mastermind, highly trained badass working for the good guys. She’s the Black Widow people, let her relish in the fact that she can manipulate evil men and bathe in their blood and tears.

Loki is so cocky, so sure of himself, it’s freakishly easy for Natasha to make him think he has the upper hand. 

He wants to hurt her, because she’s been here talking with him for this long, and not once has she mentioned his plans for Earth! It’s like she doesn’t even care (and at some point she calls on her Russian heritage for not giving a shit about rulers) so she should be made to suffer of course.

Also, Scarlett goes from this:

To this:

to this:

At that point, Natasha didn’t even have to do anything, once she got Loki going, she just pretty much let him tattle on his amazing plan. Because in trying to hurt her, like the sociopath that he is, he forgot himself and gave away too much. 

Sly victory smile!

Moving on from that awesome piece, I’m left wondering, does Marvel want me to dislike Bruce?

First, he was upset that Natasha wasn’t upfront with her approach of him in India. Then, he thanked Fury from approaching him with delicacy about this subject which, hey, it wasn’t his plan, it was Natasha’s. Then, he asks Natasha “did you know about this?!”, this being the weapons SHIELD designed that would work with energy from the tesseract, while Fury -who runs this organisation- was literally in the room. 

Is there a specific reason they wanted Bruce to be upset with Natasha? Is it because they wanted to add tension to the group? Does that make Bruce look like a jackass? Yes, to all of those.

Let me just say, that I love the fact that Natasha was allowed to call him out on his bullshit. “You didn’t come here because I bat my eyelashes at you”, i.e. you don’t get to be upset for the way you were approached, because you know it was the only way you would allow this communication to happen and somewhere deep down you’re a good person, who wouldn’t say no to saving the world. And that, is the actual reason all of them are there. Deep down, they are good people, trying to do the right thing.

This is the moment where I felt bad for Bruce:

He knew what was coming and he was powerless to stop it. Not that I completely understand the reasoning behind the Hulk zeroing in on Natasha like that.

Natasha was hunted down by the Hulk, barely survived, and currently suffers multiple injuries, not to mention psychological trauma and crippling fear. Yet, she pushes all that aside, for Clint. Priorities people.

Oh! By the way, in that physical and mental state, she kicked Clint’s ass, *ahem*, sorry, I meant, she re-calibrated his head.

Also, listen Clint, I love you darling, and I know you’ve been through a lot in the last few days, but how can you ask the Black Widow if she knows what it’s like to be unmade? It’s exposition, sure, but still, that killer glare was getting away with it, honestly.

Is anyone else’s heart broken by this smile? Does anyone else realise, this is the first original good smile we get out of Natasha for the entire film? And it’s because her friend thanked her for saving him? Do you realise, in this film, Clint had the role of the damsel in distress, and Natasha was the bold hero who did anything and everything to save him. I mean, yeah, they are platonic bros, and that makes it even cooler, but still, it’s pretty good to see something like this on a major production. 

They can write the characters well, they can make them versatile, original, strong, they just choose to be sloppy. Some times.

Natasha even tends to his emotional needs, and reminds him that he can’t blame himself for what happened while he was brainwashed.

They do read each other well. Clint points out that -normally- Natasha’s part in this fight should end here. Not only because this is not her scene, it’s not the way she operates, but also because her goal so far had been to get Clint back. So what is it, that keeps her going?

“I’ve been compromised. I’ve got red in my ledger, I’d like to wipe it out.”

To me, that means that Natasha feels the weight of her responsibility to the world. She can’t pretend to be uncaring to what’s going on around her. I can’t for the life of me, determine which was the turning point during the film for her character. Maybe the change occurred gradually but now, her and Clint are on the same page. They both have a responsibility to help fix this mess, and for quite similar reasons, even though neither of them was cut out for a fight of this nature. That’s the stuff heroes are made of.

Can a human being possibly express too much love for Steve Rogers? Probably not.

Perfect cinnamon roll Steve Rogers, after knowing Natasha for like, 2 whole hours, decided she’s coming to fight for the world. He’s not even asking, just “time to go.” 

And believe you me, it’s not because Stark had anything good to say about Natalie, it’s all about Steve’s perceptive nature. He even placed the trust of trusting Clint, a guy who up until 5 minutes ago was part of the enemy’s forces, on Natasha, by silently asking if he should come on board. And he never questions her. 

Even though he doesn’t entirely trust Fury, he recognises they have to put whatever issues they have aside, and he has seen enough of her to realise she’s a worthy ally, and because he is Cap, he chooses to trust her to do the right thing. That trust sets the foundation for their friendship, and it is rad af.

All I’m saying, is that Steve Rogers is a fantastic human being and we really don’t deserve him.

Natasha Romanoff: Sees alien army. Takes out her handguns, turns to Captain America and literally says “You can go, we’ll handle this” like it’s a stroll in the park. The way she kept her cool throughout the fight with the alien army is a testament to just how much crap she’s lived through. Clint too.

I know people talk about friendly neighbourhood Spider-man, but those two were killing aliens and at the same time helping kids and old ladies off busses and stuff in the battle of New York.

And fixing the arrow that was meant to kill Loki.

I’m gonna call that, her “It’s cool you’re finally here but you’re definitely not forgiven face.”

And seriously, when our very human spider willingly chose to fight this fight, Bruce needs to be reprimanded for having to be dragged into it kicking and screaming. You’re the Hulk man, get a grip, honestly.

I’d just like to add here, that Cap took excellent charge of the team, and had the perfect job for everyone BUT, it was Natasha who pointed out that there was no point fighting the aliens that came through the portal, and it was Natasha who took the initiative to find a way to shut down said portal.  And said solution had nothing to do with guns, and everything to do with brains. 

In case you didn’t notice:

In Iron Man 2: Natasha took down Vanko’s system and gave back the control of War Machine to Rhodey.

In Avengers: Natasha closed down the portal.

In Winter Soldier: Natasha made Hydra’s continued existence known to the world by releasing SHIELD’s files.

In Age of Ultron: Natasha stole Ultron’s body, destroying his plans and allowing Tony to create Vision.

In Civil War: Natasha allowing Cap to leave ended the fight.

I mean sure Cap, you’re good at strategic planning, but look what our girl can do!

I’m 99% sure the wordless communication between them is because they both do similarly crazy shit like this. Also, the look of wonder on Cap’s face after the jump: priceless. 

Ta daaaah!

To end this on a funny note: who do I need to pay to learn what kind of joke Natasha whispered in Clint’s ear? Was it dry and sarcastic? Evil? He seemed pretty happy about it so I’m guessing evil.

Anyway, thanks for sticking around, this was an extra long post. I was really happy to realise that -on the whole- the first Avengers film had actually treated Natasha pretty well, which is why it acted as a hook for most of us when it came to her character. I think I’ll probably end up doing Winter Soldier after this one so, stay tuned!

[thetrashbang]

PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds Needs A God

No multiplayer game gets to live in a void for long. No matter how hard you may try to bleed yourself of troublesome concepts like context, or backstory, the reality is that people like to speculate. People like to tell stories. Doesn’t matter how goofy or outlandish; the creeping tendrils of narrative eventually wrap around the foundations of even the purest, most context-free experiences. Why are we bombing these crates? Why are we stealing that flag? Why are we fighting? Why are we here?

Somebody will come up with an answer. It’s the human thing to do.

But for PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds, it feels like that answer has yet to come. One hundred players parachute onto a deserted island, where the average density of firearms per square meter exceeds even the most deranged fanatical NRA wet dream, and a slowly constricting hemisphere of crackling blue energy forces them to mercilessly gun each other down until only one is left standing. It’s an absurd, nightmarish premise; a theoretical scenario seemingly engineered to turn people into rabid beasts, fighting tooth and nail merely for the privilege of living a few minutes longer. Who would orchestrate such a competition, and for what purpose? Is it an experiment? A ritual? A blood sport? Is some Silicon Valley bazillionaire sitting in a darkened room somewhere, surrounded by monitors, cranking his sad rubbery hog to every rifle crack and arterial splatter? Nobody seems to know, or care.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t either; PUBG is fun enough without framing. And yet, tonight’s winds bring an uneasy chill, carrying whispers of restlessness, indignance and fury. You feel it, don’t you? There’s a philosophical schism in how we approach Pubguh—the very concept of ‘battle royale’, even—and the hairline fractures are beginning to show. Players whine and gnash their teeth at the red zone, esports organisers desperately attempt to harness the format for views, and the proverbial chicken dinner seems to attain a more and more mythical, trophy-like status by the day; a reference to back-alley gambling now ironically viewed as a badge of ultimate prowess. This isn’t a healthy relationship. This isn’t a healthy attitude.

What Plunkbat needs, friends, is a god.

Well, okay, not necessarily a god god. Divine power is optional. I’m not asking Brendan Greene to start wearing a white toga and chiselling his patch notes into stone tablets, as much as it would set an entertaining precedent. The job requirements are flexible: I’m simply asking for someone vengeful and capricious, with unfathomable intentions, inscrutable thoughts, and—at least within the bounds of the playable space—immense, unassailable power. Like any god, you need not supply scientific proof of their presence; you merely have to attribute sufficient existing phenomena to them, and change people’s collective perception of the world. Ooh, got’em.

See, battle royale games represent an important shift to me. I’m a competitive person by nature. It’s etched into my mind, irreversibly chiseled by years of test scores and parental praise and all the other ego-stroking bullshit that you were subjected to if you were a certain kind of ‘gifted’ child. “You’re the best. You should be the best. You should be winning. Why aren’t you winning, what the heck is wrong with you?” So it bleeds over, into hobbies, work, and of course, online shooters, in which I regularly demonstrate that I have an innate… whatever the opposite of aptitude is. I react slowly, I zone out, I bean myself on the head with my own grenades, and if you exert the slightest bit of pressure, I’ll empty half the magazine into a wall and drop my weapon through a gap in the floorboards. I’m not good, and yet some unreachable, fundamental part of my conscious will never be satisfied with that knowledge.

You would think, then, that Pubby-G would only serve to exacerbate this mindset. And yet, in a world of delicately tuned esports that are built from the ground up to be pure, unfiltered tests of skill, it feels like the only game to grant a genuine absolution of responsibility; a kind of freeing fatalism. There’s a sense in a lot of classic multiplayer experiences—like, say, Counter-Strike—that every outcome is more or less deterministic; a product of a series of controlled variables and actions. With every failure comes the overwhelming impression that it could have been averted, given enough competence, foresight, and concentrated guarana. By contrast, a porridgey cocktail of chaos flows through the veins of battle royales, surrounding you with factors that are not only impossible to influence, but—in many cases—impossible to know at all. You are swept up by the gusts of a hundred butterflies’ wings, tossed to and fro by the whims of the random number generator, bombarded with unavoidable risks and squeezed into unmanageable situations. It’s easier to go with the flow, accept that at any given moment you may have your head unceremoniously taken off—by somebody lying flat on a distant hill, or hiding behind one of the game’s ten thousand trees, or concealed in a shrub on the far side of the Moon—and concentrate on all the minute actions you can make to ever-so-slightly nudge the odds in your favour.

But it’s not always clear that this is the reality of Puhburger. With its vast scale and often languid pacing, encounters can feel like isolated incidents, detached from the cascading series of events that led up to them, despite being anything but. Anyone can parse the map for circles of safety and non-safety, and understand that their arbitrary placement gives certain players an advantage; it’s less apparent that the figure in that upstairs window might have had their sights trained on the area, or seen you first, shot first, picked up a better weapon, obtained a better vantage point, or some other action, because of a dizzying permutation of astral alignments that neither of you could even begin to grasp. So we get futile attempts to establish a level playing field, find meaning in accomplishment, divine fair elements from unfair, and generally make things needlessly stressful for everybody involved. Except the infuriatingly smug yours truly, of course.

How do you make that clear, though? How do you concisely impress upon people that their fate is almost entirely out of their hands, in such a way that they adopt an attitude of acceptance? Blaming the roll of the dice doesn’t come to mind as swiftly when you never see them rattling around, nor the way their innumerable ripples propagate across the map. Furthermore, as current events have taught us all too well, it’s a lot easier to ascribe fault to individuals than to an invisible, fundamentally hostile system. So what do you do?

You give the system a name. And, if you can, a face.

Allow me to momentarily slam us into reverse. When Valve released Left 4 Dead way back in 2008 (oh god, it’s going to be ten years old this year?) they made quite a song and dance about the game’s AI Director; an invisible, unknowable entity that would dynamically dole out items and zombies in a manner consistent with the tenets of dramatic tension, ensuring players were subjected to a “fast-paced, but not overwhelming, Hollywood horror movie”. While the opacity of the AI Director’s machinations always made me a tad sceptical of its mechanical effectiveness, giving people a name to pin the blame for all their earthly woes on was a masterstroke. Notorious video game jokesman Yahtzee Croshaw—the one with the hat and that trendy 00s cynicism, remember?—reported that he once witnessed someone praying to the AI Director, and I bet you all the pipe bombs in the world that players’ personification of it didn’t stop there. Short of making a catastrophic error, I never saw anyone get chewed out for not pulling their weight, and when tones got heated—as they inevitably do, when you’re throwing yourself against the frigid slopes of the higher difficulties—they were directed in the vague direction of the director: for its expectations, for its lack of pity, for being unfair. Awareness of our lurking orchestrator changed our perception of the experience, even though we couldn’t entirely prove it wasn’t just somebody sitting in a black box, disinterestedly flipping a coin over and over.

So, why not do the same for a game that does? Put a face on the system that holds a fundamental grip on who lives and who dies. You don’t need to change a thing under the hood; you need only introduce the vague implication that the evolving state of the battlefield is a consequence of a thinking, feeling, mysterious overseer. A bloodthirsty oligarch watching from their lavish observation zeppelin, a dystopian TV network broadcasting a deadly future sport, an amoral team of government agents sealed away in a bunker control room, an inexplicably sapient Shiba playing with a selection of levers, or indeed, a literal deity. People will take the faintest contextual cues and run amok with them, ascribing everything they can to the will of the one who set this conflict in motion: item drops, circle position, all the way down to the subtle spread of their bullets as they sail through the air. Yeah, maybe it’ll start off as a running joke; an ironic indulgence, the “thanks Obama” of Puddlebounds. But that’s the thing about ironic behaviour: get enough people doing it at once, and you’ll cultivate sincere participants without even realising it. We will learn to absolve ourselves of responsibility, and engage in the unhinged pandemonium of battle royale with the mentality that befits it.

There’s just one problem: you need to be able to keep a secret.

I’m still working on that part.