#these ppl got nothing better to do huh

[yay-depression]

it is so silly when ppl are like “transitioning as an adult should be restricted/illegal because it’s not medically necessary and the results are permanent!” bc like… we do so many things in modern medicine that aren’t strictly necessary & have permanent outcomes and yet… we do them.

my mom went in for a voluntary corrective knee surgery to remove part of her knee. my dad didn’t need to have his stomach removed, he chose to do that. there’s a content creator called footlessjo who chose to have a below the knee amputation. people everywhere ask their doctors for gastric sleeve surgeries, or corrective eye surgery. not to mention almost of these surgeries have a higher regret rate than transitioning.

if we only did medical procedures or treatments when people were dying the quality of life for everyone would go down. if we trust other adults to make permanent decisions regarding things like whether they should keep an organ or a limb, then there’s no reason not to trust trans people who want to medically transition.

[ihatebnha]

hey pretty, I just wanted to tell you that it's not your fics that makes this your blog, it's you!! so don't feel like to be here you have to be "working" or "posting". you're you and I love u for that. really, I love it when you answer asks, you're so polite, gentle and funny, it actually makes us wanna talk to you. but!! if one day this whole thing ever overwhelms you it's okay baby. just wanted to let you know that you alredy give us so much <33 you are amazing in indulging our thoughts, you give us tiktok content and amazing dad headcanons for all the characters!! know you're doing great, you really are active here and we love you 💗❤❤

[that-fic-girl]

I'VE GOT A SCENARIO, ok so I saw the Monty doing Roxanne with reader being jealous and got a thought. Reader is dating Monty but cheats on reader with Roxanne. They cry to Bonnie for comfort cuz he's sweet bunny but little does the reader know his idea so comfort is something else 👀. Monty catches them and is fumming cuz he knows Bonnie's been pinning for reader the whole time. Bunny boi looking at Monty while pounding reader like whatcha done do? 👀🐇👀

your prayers have been answered my sweet in this, reader calls bonnie thumper as a nickname. I will STAND WITH THAT HEAD CANON UNTIL I DIE.

GLAMROCK BONNIE x READER

tw: NSFW THEMES, cheating, mentions of panties for the feminine ppl, not read over it just finished it off this morning, mentions of vaginal parts

every day was getting more and more exhausting for you. Your pay check is slipping, your sink was leaking and your relationship was fading.

you would find yourself getting upset and just breaking down, the first person at your side would always be bonnie.

he would always hear to what you had to say, he gave great advice and if you need to cry in his embrace, hes happy to be there for you.

"its gonna be okay superstar, I promise" he held you and stroked your hair as you quietly sobbed into his bowling shirt.

"I-its not... hes going to leave me.. I-.. I just don't know what to do"

you knew deep down it was for the better. all monty ever did was insult you and ignore you. NOTHING about him screamed "caring" in any way.

"but... it'll be for the best." you stuttered, wiping your tears from your face.

you patted Bonnies leg and gave him a little smile, indicating it was time for you to finish on your check-ups with the other glamrocks. god how he loves that smile.

before you pulled the door he grabbed your waist from behind and hugged you.

"just one more before you leave, im gonna miss ya'" he said whilst resting his head into the dip of your neck.

"Awww, thumper. c'mere"

the large thump of the elevator hitting the floor woke you up from your thoughts. remembering you have to finish off the last of the glamrock checkups and then your free to roam around for a bit until opening.

your first stop was freddy;

freddy noticed your tear stained face and questioned you about it but after you said it was nothing, he didn't want to push you into telling him. so he stayed quiet until you finished.

"alright! all done. you seem to be operating fine."

you gave the brown bear a smile, closing his stomach hatch.

"I best be on my way now".

and with that, you made your way to Roxy's greenroom but to your surprise, she wasn't there.

"that's strange... maybe she's in her raceway. ill check it later"

you grabbed your tools and headed to your gators greenroom.

you where absolutely terrified, why wouldn't you be? he has a short temper and isn't really fond of you DESPITE you being his significant other.

as you where about to place your fist onto his door, you heard something.

"fuckkk..roxyy"

you heard grunts and several slurs mumbling all coming from monty's room.

you felt dread bubbling in the pit of your stomach.

without hesitation, you slammed the door open to reveal a heartbreaking scene.

"what. the. fuck" you dropped your bags to the floor and stood in shock.

"ah- shit babe! its not what it looks like!"

monty tried to cover Roxy whilst trying to put his pants back on, knocking over a few objects thrown across his room.

"oh so you weren't just balls fucking deep in Roxy then huh?! do you think im a fucking idiot?!" you frantically waved your arms around, your head raging at the thought of your best friend FUCKING your boyfriend.

"no I-"

"so this is why you where so distant from me. you where screwing around with her!" you cut him off.

monty was silent. he knew you where right and you could see it on his face

Roxanne stood up and moved towards you

"im sorry y/n-"

"I don't want to hear anything from you."

and with that you slammed the door shut, walking back to the elevator you came from. you where too distracted to go check on Chica or the others. you had one destination you where gonna go to and that was it.

you felt your anger slowly melt into sadness and the aching in your chest started to become more apparent. tears started to run down your face.

"shit.."

bonnie was sat on foxy's stage, head in his hands and dying of boredom.

"why didn't I just tell her, kiss her.. or DO ANYTHING! god she's gonna get played by that dick-"

"b-bonnie.."

his head instantly turned.

"o-oh my sweet thing, what happened?"

he quickly ran to your side, putting your head in his hands.

"monty he...he.. I think he grew fonder to Roxanne.."

bonnie gave you a sad look, cupping your cheek in his hand.

"aw darlin'... im sorry you had to see that"

his hands ran down to your waist, pulling you into his chest.

"its going to be alright, love"

you wiped you tears and sat down, putting you head into your hands. Bonnie lifted your face up to meet him, giving you a soft smirk.

"I can treat you better than he ever could, y'know?"

your eyes never left his, getting lost in the sight that was in front of you. you felt your insides bubbling in excitement.

you knew there was always something there between you two but you always thought it was a misunderstanding. but now you realise that hes always been the one there for you, always been the one to keep you company on lonely night shifts, always been the one to understand and listen to you, hes always been the one.

"do you want me to treat you better?" his hands slowly slid up your thighs, rubbing the inside of your legs.

"y-yes..please" you stuttered, you heart was beating so fast. you couldn't actually believe this was happening.

"atta' girl" he said with a soft melodic tone.

NSFW UNDER THE LINEEE

bonnie's hands started to wonder all over you whilst he kissed your neck, touching all of your sensitive parts.

he was a bit hesitant a first but the noises you made encouraged him to feel more.

His hands tugged at the waist line of your pants, eagerly wanting to see the beauty between your legs.

"you sure you want this sweetheart?" he gave you a look of concern, making sure that this was the right moment for you.

"I am positive my little thumper, you're too sweet"

his foot pounded lightly in the floor from the little nickname you gave him. he felt as if he was under your spell, no matter what, all he could think about was you.

he pulled your pants off, revealing the laced panties you wore.

his hand glided over the heat between your legs, feeling your wetness and admiring the state that you where in. the state he caused you to be in.

"my, my baby. you look so adorable" he purred, his head going closer to your lower regions

"and you're all mine"

he pulled you panties off, staring down your dripping mess between your legs. his hands caressed your inner thighs, making your heat throb in anticipation.

even in such a desperate situation, he still made you feel special. it still made your stomach bubble butterflies.

"please just fuck me bon... I need you"

That lit something in him. Within seconds he’s picking you up and placing you on top of his lap, kissing your shoulders whilst his hands roamed the bottom half of your body.

You’re body was warm, soft, his hands gave you such a euphoric feeling. You knew in that moment that he’s what you want, your face grew redder and your heart beat increased.

You felt him slowly lift up your body as you felt something poking at your puffy core. A few whimpers left your mouth as you felt him enter inside of you.

“Fuckk, hon…”

His voice sounded so melodic, filling your stomach with butterflies, making you feel as if you’re a teenager again with a high school crush.

Your head naturally fell onto Bonnies shoulder as he started to bounce you up and down on his cock. He was slow and passionate. Not rough or mean like Monty was.

Your hands wrapped around him as your mouth opened, letting out the sweetest of noises, sending him over the edge, he was loving every second of it and you could tell.

“..’feels so good Bon..”

He smiled, he loved hearing you, especially like this.

“I know sweets, let Bonnie take care of ya’”

And with that, you’re riding up and down on him, filling your senses with a euphoric pleasure as he fucked you right to the edge.

By this point your legs had started to shake, you was clearly close and he wanted to get you to finish, all he wanted was for you to feel good.

His hands move as he moves one of them to your lower back and the other one straight to your puffy clit. As soon as his fingers made contact, your head flung back as the overwhelming feeling whipped straight to your core.

“O-oh my goddd… Bon..’mgonna cum..”

You mumbled as your body grew limp.

“That’s it clover, feel good on me, please”

And with that, you both felt your gummy walls tighten around him. Your body heaved as your clenched your fists and screamed for him, gifting him a small smirk on his face.

He pulled you off of him, not caring that he hadn’t finished, more of that he needed to take care of you. Pulling you into his chest, he moved a strand of hair from your face. You smiled at him. God. He loved that smile.

“God.. be mine hon, please”.

Sorry for the fact that it was rushed, its 3:56 and I’m tryna get all my drafts finished and I know y’all are back on the FNAF band waggon again so why not throw a few out there for you guys, love ya <3

Also please give me more requests, I’ve got no inspiration 😭

[palms-upturned]

I’m not gonna jump in ppl’s notes over this bc lord knows I do not want to have a debate about it but seeing someone say “I have qualms about people calling Jean ableist for trying to fire Harry and in the same breath saying Harry is unfit for cop work” is really getting to me. I am practically on my knees begging people to actually engage with what disco elysium has to say about disability and addiction and ableism and policing and social murder because it’s not even subtextual, it’s as blatant and hand holding as it could possibly be. The 41st is an awful environment for Harry not bc him being disabled makes him incapable of doing his job, it’s bc the job is fucking hostile to his existence. Like, no one is “fit” to be a cop because they shouldn’t exist, firstly, and even Harry himself will say as much in the Ruby bad ending. But talking about Harry’s case specifically, we know that this job is part of what landed him where he is to begin with.

From the start of day 2:

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — You mean why are you so tired? Too tired and *down* to even think? It *is* worrying, isn't it. You can't be a detective like this -- detectives need to be able to think.

YOU — Why is this happening?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — It's just that your heart has finally pumped all the *speed* out of your system, buster. Time to get some more.

YOU — Wait. What *is*... speed?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Speed is a potent central nervous system stimulant. It kept you propped up all day yesterday despite your debilitating hangover. How else did you think you even got up from this floor?

VOLITION — You got up from this floor because of a holy vow you made sixteen years ago. With *me*. To wake up exactly 07:30 every morning until the day you die.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Don't be silly. There was no vow. You were high on speed. That was the only reason you got up. You can't *detect* without it, it's that simple.

YOU — No. I can take this. I am not going to go looking for speed.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Are you sure? Ready to live as this pathetic shell of yourself for days? Basically a week? Let's be honest -- two weeks, maybe three? You won't make it. Half the town will be dead by then. You will be fired.

YOU — That's a lie. I can do this without the speed. Half the town won't be dead... (Opt out.)

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Suit yourself, slow, sad shell-man. See how you do without your spark.

And from this talk with Kim in Klaasje’s room:

KIM KITSURAGI — "Amphetamine -- does it make you a better detective?"

SUGGESTION — Be honest. He's not grilling you, he just wants to know. Ask if he's ever wanted to take it too.

YOU — "Honestly, it makes me the detective I am. Have you thought of taking it too?"

KIM KITSURAGI — "Maybe I should?" He lets out a little pensive hum, rubbing his shoulder...

DRAMA — It's not insincere. He's actually giving it thought.

KIM KITSURAGI — "Doesn't the... pupils and the gurning jaw, the sweating... doesn't it become tiring after a while?"

YOU — "I understand it's unbecoming but if I don't perform this job well I am nothing. It's the price I pay."

Harry knows that the cost of getting sober would be that the precinct would let him go. They’re not going to have the patience to deal with him slowing down from the combo of withdrawal and no speed to “keep him propped up.” Not when the reason that he’s stayed on the force this long and risen in the ranks is most likely because he manages such a massive caseload, as we find out from Kim:

YOU — "Is two cases a week a good case load, lieutenant?"

KIM KITSURAGI — "Huh?" He raises his nose from his notes. "Two *complex* cases to undertake is a lot, yes. You *really* have to push yourself. I would not suggest it. Lest you start making mistakes."

YOU — "Two cases a week appears to have been my load, lieutenant. I'm not sure I completed them though."

KIM KITSURAGI — "Two?" He raises both eyebrows. "That's a lot. I didn't mean to say you're making mistakes, by the way. That was presumptuous of me."

And later:

KIM KITSURAGI — "This next row -- the one that wraps all the way around -- is your number of closed cases. *Closed* is good. It means finished. You've got, let's see..."

KIM KITSURAGI — "Wow, more than 200!"

YOU — "Is that a lot?"

KIM KITSURAGI — "It's *quite* a lot, even for someone who's been on the force for nearly two decades. Usually clearing more than 10 cases a year puts you in the 90th percentile of *all* RCM officers..."

Despite the trouble Harry makes, he’s considered an asset so long as he closes cases. To the point where he wasn’t punished for drunkenly beating Burke unconscious and then injuring his knee so badly that he can’t walk anymore just because this allowed them to close the “unsolvable case” of Leslie and Burke. 41 and the RCM as an institution don’t care about Harry’s or anyone else’s wellbeing, they care about whether the pros of having him around outweigh the cons.

From the lazareth call with Gottlieb:

YOU — "Isn't there *anything* you can do for me?"

NIX GOTTLIEB — "What, you want me to do blood work for you again, tell you just how bad things really are *across the board*? You want another rundown of everything collapsing inside your body?"

YOU — "Yes. I want the truth!"

NIX GOTTLIEB — "You want the real, honest-to-god truth? Stop drinking, eat magnesium and vitamin D. Our station is not a retirement home. We don't have the funds to deal with *rock stars* past their prime."

RHETORIC — So it's political! You're being *neglected* because of political reasons...

NIX GOTTLIEB — "And no, I *don't* want to hear a *political commentary* on the topic. In fact -- I've got work to do."

If I were to quote every time Gottlieb was notably uncaring or said something blasé about how you probably didn’t have long to live, I’d have to quote pretty much every word of that dialogue. That’s the whole joke with Gottlieb. That’s just how it is dealing with doctors when you’re in Harry’s position.

From talking to Kim about Uuno:

KIM KITSURAGI — "We could take him to Remedie or Saint Batiste, but he doesn't have money for medical services. The Almshouse would turn him down..."

KIM KITSURAGI — "They don't do charity for people who're trying to kill themselves. Besides, he'll be dead in a few..." The lieutenant stops, listening to him.

RHETORIC — ... years? Months? Weeks?

“They don’t do charity work for people who’re trying to kill themselves” really sums up the absurdity of Harry’s situation and institutional responses to it. Harry isn’t seen as the kind of person in crisis who deserves intervention. He’s treated as a lost cause who deserves to suffer the consequences of his self harm, even though the unending crisis and the lack of response to it is what drives him to harm himself and hope that he “gets worse.” If he weren’t a cop, it’s unlikely that Kim would care about him any more than he cares about Uuno and Cuno’s situation. Harry’s job is killing him, but it’s also the only thing that gives him access to anything resembling a community or support network (at least at the start of the game). Again, that’s just the way it goes when you’re disabled.

From the second tribunal:

TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "Well -- here is my theory: What if this is an absolutely normal reaction to the world we're living in? What if this is *not* a significant anomaly at all, something to be explained, approached as a defect? Look at the sensory input here..." He gestures toward the scenery.

TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "Look at the ruins, the neon, listen to the radio, the multitudes. The people. Live here for forty years... As a police detective, he's like a magnetic reader on the world-tape -- to borrow a known metaphor. Harry's been pushed *flat against it*. Total input."

TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "Hard-wired to the free market..." He nods confidently. "He just needed for it to end."

JEAN VICQUEMARE — "Okay, Trant, thank you. That's... absolutely meaningless. I'm glad we brought you. Will he or will he not be able to work in the Major Crimes Unit? Is he a cretin now? I want to know *that*."

TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "He is *not* a cretin. And he *is* able to do work -- if not in his previous leadership role, then as a line detective."

YOU — "Line detective is good for now."

JEAN VICQUEMARE — "For *now*?" He looks at you, then at Trant. "I misphrased my question. It should have been: Is he able to put his clothes on, and use the potty, or do we need to get him on a disability pension?"

Or, alternatively:

YOU — "He's wrong. I'm too far gone for work."

JEAN VICQUEMARE — "Agreed, Harry." He nods. "Just don't expect us to get you a disability pension. Cops who actually gave a shit are waiting in line. You're not gonna hog their seat."

Trant, who, notably, is technically a civilian consultant rather than a cop, (edit: and maybe even more notably, as someone pointed out in the tags, has had experience with addiction, too) suggests to Jean that Harry’s breakdown is a basically inevitable result of his circumstances and the systems that created them, and Jean’s response is that he doesn’t care and all that he wants to know is whether or not Harry can work or if he’s going to be “hogging” resources from other people who are more deserving of help because they “actually gave a shit.” He’s a mouthpiece here for the institutions that he represents and his ableism is blatant and heinous to drive the point home. He denies that Harry’s case is as serious as it is and accuses Harry of faking it, despite the fact that it’s happened (at least) twice before, and very recently:

JEAN VICQUEMARE — "I believe you *drank*. People do that -- you especially. What they don't do is forget their *whole life* because of drinking."

JUDIT MINOT — "But, Detective Vicquemare," she interjects. "He *has* blanked out before."

YOU — "I have?"

JUDIT MINOT — "Yes, a couple of times. After some of the more... serious benders." She pauses, remembering. "One was after the Two Drunks case, the other when we looked into that mural."

REACTION SPEED — The two cases... in your ledger. The Unsolvable Case and the Next World Mural. Those were recent.

And despite the fact that even Gottlieb doesn’t seem shocked about it:

YOU — "I've lost my memory. All of it."

NIX GOTTLIEB — "With all the damage you've been dealing yourself with drugs and alcohol, I'm not surprised."

AUTHORITY — There is no surprise in his voice. Only careless superiority.

DRAMA — It's hard to say if he doesn't believe you -- or doesn't care.

(Considering that Gottlieb’s PSY stat is so high (he’s even eating one of the PSY boosting candies during the call), along with his uncaring responses to all your other problems, it’s more likely the latter.)

Jean also won’t believe that you’re sober even if you haven’t touched so much as a cigarette for your entire playthrough, and even when Judit points out that he’s wrong, he’ll double down and say that it doesn’t matter because you’re going to relapse:

JEAN VICQUEMARE — "Even the insect -- I don't care. But you're an *alcoholic*. And you've been drinking -- again. I won't let my life unravel because of this."

JUDIT MINOT — "Jean -- I think he hasn't. I can see it on his face..."

ENDURANCE — The bloating *has* gone down since you woke up that morning...

JEAN VICQUEMARE — "Okay, so he's stayed clear for what? A week?" He sighs.

TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "It's tough. One of the toughest addictions to overcome. Comparable *only* to heavy synthetic opiates. Even morphine is easier to kick than alcohol -- statistically. The odds are against him. Especially at his age."

JEAN VICQUEMARE — He nods. "He's too old. He's been like this for too long. I've seen him try many times. It's a farce by now."

SUGGESTION — They're leaving. They're all turning away from you.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — No. You can figure it out. *Replace* it! Replace the alcohol with amphetamine. Or GBL! Fuck it -- morphine! Graffito removal agent! Anything. It'll buy you time. All you need is time.

Electrochemistry brings up yet another facet of Harry’s struggles with substances, which is the idea that some of them may be replacements for alcohol. He doesn’t have time or space to try to quit in any way that is remotely healthy. What he has are substances like speed that keep him from collapsing from the strain of it all so that he can keep showing up to work, and other substances that might (he hopes) help him wean himself off the alcohol.

The game explores all of these different factors of Harry’s struggles with addiction and the circumstances that keep him trapped in them exhaustively (and the fact that Robert Kurvitz apparently was recovering from alcoholism during the development probably contributed a lot to that). The structure and culture of the RCM are hugely responsible for Harry’s situation. He’s mocked and berated for being an alcoholic and told repeatedly to get his shit together without actually providing him with the means to do that. Instead, he’s not only enabled but practically forced to keep using just so that he can show up to work at all and not risk losing the only support network he has (even if it’s the shittiest and most unhelpful network imaginable). As Luiga (iirc) said, Harry’s biggest tragedy is that he’s incapable of quitting the force. Many of the reasons for that are genuinely just due to Harry being a class traitor and an asshole, but it’s also true that even if he did want to quit, there is no safety net to catch him.

And then Harry comes to Martinaise, a town that has been “orphaned” by the RCM and neglected by Revachol at large, left mostly to their own devices. It’s not like policing doesn’t still exist in Martinaise, and things are pretty dire for everyone in the community, but at the very least you can see that it is a community. Isobel houses you for free. In Kim’s absence (and after Gottlieb stitches and ditches you), Cuno and Garte take care of you when you’re shot. Acele responds to your breakdown on the ice by saying it’s okay to cry and that you can talk with her about it when you’re ready. Idiot Doom Spiral and co run to your aid when they see you drive your car into the sea and invite you to come drink with them just to stop you from doing it again. Harry discovers that life, while very painful and bleak at times, isn’t necessarily hopeless for the marginalized. You can still find solidarity and support outside of the system.

Meanwhile, if Harry in the end has no one to vouch for him and hasn’t stayed sober, that system will abandon him, a well-known suicide risk with at least one bullet hole in him and severe amnesia, with the promise of nothing but getting served a station call slip. The point is not whether or not Harry “deserves” to be forgiven or even whether he’s a danger to himself and others (to be clear, he is). The point is that this is a system that doesn’t care whether Harry and people like him live or die. That is why, even in a “good” ending where Harry is welcomed back to the 41st, the work won’t be sustainable. It’s going to kill him because that’s what it’s designed to do. The miracle of Martinaise was the realization that he doesn’t have to die. There are people who will help to keep him on this earth. They’re just not members of the fucking RCM.

It’s not a “gotcha” to say that if Jean (and the RCM, and the institutions of Revachol on the whole) is ableist for wanting Harry fired, then saying that cop work is unsustainable for Harry is also ableist. I won’t even say what I personally think of that logic because I’m trying to keep the tone of this post polite. Jean’s dialogue during the tribunal is meant to parrot every bit of ableist rhetoric that the system is built on and that keeps Harry trapped in this hellish feedback loop. He’s a mouthpiece for the general culture of the RCM, just like Gottlieb is a mouthpiece for the shit that addicts and the disabled have to deal with from the medical system. He thinks Harry should be fired because he’s a drunk and therefor a lost cause. The truth is that Harry needs to quit this job because it shouldn’t exist and because it is actively killing him.

In one of Martin Luiga’s articles about the process of creating the game, he brings up the concept of social murder, which is a term coined by Engels:

When one individual inflicts bodily injury upon another such that death results, we call the deed manslaughter; when the assailant knew in advance that the injury would be fatal, we call his deed murder. But when society places hundreds of proletarians in such a position that they inevitably meet a too early and an unnatural death, one which is quite as much a death by violence as that by the sword or bullet; when it deprives thousands of the necessaries of life, places them under conditions in which they cannot live – forces them, through the strong arm of the law, to remain in such conditions until that death ensues which is the inevitable consequence – knows that these thousands of victims must perish, and yet permits these conditions to remain, its deed is murder just as surely as the deed of the single individual; disguised, malicious murder, murder against which none can defend himself, which does not seem what it is, because no man sees the murderer, because the death of the victim seems a natural one, since the offence is more one of omission than of commission. But murder it remains.

None of this is subtext. And all of it is intended to make players actually spare a thought for what it’s like for people in Harry’s situation in real life. For God’s sake, please engage with it. You have to try and understand what it means to be trapped in a life that is made unlivable and to know that your death will be ungrievable. That’s what this whole game is about.

Edit: I’ve seen some ppl say in the tags something like “yeah, I like to imagine a happy ending for Harry, but…” and listen. I am laying a very gentle hand on your shoulders. The point of this post was never to say that there’s no happy ending for Harry. The point is that the first step toward that ending is conceptualizing a life outside of the RCM. In Martinaise, he got a glimpse of what that might look like. Hell, in the bad ending, you can even say to Jean, “fine then. I’ll just live here.” There’s hope for him and for us. I promise.

[jazeswhbhaven]

That's What You Get When You Eat a Mandrake~ (Beel Butt L-Card Story: Ch.1) *React 2*

S t o p

Be sure to check out Part 1 of this react first ->

If you've already checked it out you're good to go ^^

So we left off on Beel, Dong-hyung and MC making it back to the palace after walking through Avisos. MC is very much still drunk asf.

But our cute bby did it!! He carried MC all the way back and Beel is impressed so-

So Beel pulled down DonBear's pants lmao and left a tattoo on his booty that says 'cute' lol So now we know how Beel 'tattoos' he uses magic to do it. (kinda reminds me of that Misfits episode...)

And here this is how I realize that getting a tattoo from Beel is the highest honor. Also we do know DonBear is of age because he was at the bar in the first place, but perhaps he just didn't earn the piercing just yet because there are a lot of citizens of Avisos to go through...I'm sure some of them don't have a piercing yet.

hehehehehe

Awh that would be cute, imagine DonBear being the future king of Gluttony? (Though I wonder if Bael would be like...uh maybe let's not say that even though he needs a damn break lol)

Even when MC went back to Gehenna he was still poking around wondering when he'd see them again T^T and he crafted the booty chocolates in the idea of MC's butt that's just amazing to me. (also he's an ass guy confirmed then)

But but but-

So I jumped ahead a bit in the last react post it seems they didn't' drag him along with them until AFTER the flashback ^^;

But still a hundred doctors??? Damn I wish I had that many at my call when I get sick like dang help (mammon would probs get me doctors, the best care around or I could just see Morax &lt;3)

This is the part where I'm like, dang what would that do to MC if they ate it???

Again then why the fuck were ppl putting it in the chocolate omg, MC was literally about to eat like a box or two T^T (which I mean maybe it does nothing in small quantities but still)

But I can't help but not feel sorry for Beel he didn't have to eat all those boxes like a jealous heathen lol

BAEL PLEASE

So it's explained that if he doesn't get the antidote that it will consume his mind and make it troubled and Beel is just like "Yeah uh my friend is fucking dense so will there be any difference?"

Pls. The shade.

So Beel didn't hit him because of what he said about his mind, but because-

Our bitey horni king of Gluttony is fucking scared of needles I cannot.

This is just really funny seeing as how he seemingly isn't really afraid of anything but that.

He really doesn't want that shot lol

They ask MC though if they're willing to give him the shot and I'm sitting over here like...

(I have to sometimes help my roommate with their T-shots so...I kinda know what I'm doing/ they also don't like needles btw so this has been a ride for the household)

So everyone leaves the room so MC and Beel can discuss this and right off the bat I feel that MC is me here too because I'd say the same shit "That's what you get, Beel. Now look at you."

NOPE NOPE You don't get to grrrrrr at me >:( you got one more time to growl

*shakes my finger* Don't you dare....bad devil...bad boy!

ULTIMATUM TIME. Because yeah if we're gonna be childish and growling and shit, let's get real I ain't coming back. I'm staying in Gehenna and ordering Satan to kick you out on sight >:(

So it seems the threat made him serious, because he pulls down his pants (lmaooo he was like damn it's like that then...)

and phew the description of his ass

Huh, I wonder what MC is watching then because man sometimes there's some nice booty in porn *shrug* BUT I DIGRESS this is MC's universe lmao

I just know we've seen his pale non tanned booty on that card and it's nice. I'm trying to decide if Mammon's is better though cause it's got that badoonk round thing going for it...hmmmmm

(sidebar: on his attacker card I wanna be in that club seeing how his butt flexes and moves when he fucks because-) ahem

moving onnnnn :D

Same MC. Same.

So he's not gonna do the shot for free. He has bad memories. Hm.... I'm sure we will know more about that later. Possibly something bad involving angels is a high reason why he hates shots.

Oh???? So we're gonna have to distract him then....

This is gonna get hot...like really hot, and it's probably gonna take me forever to unlock the unholy board because I'm f2p lmaooo I'll just partake in the spoilers when they pop up btw there is a weird bug that I'm not sure they fixed yet for this card's unholy board. Most aren't able to proceed and some aren't able to use his ultimate either. BUT in conclusion: Beel was being an ass and now his ass in on the line. Lol I bet you he won't even remember or care about this once he gets the shot. No accountability will still eat any gift anyone gives MC in the future no matter what. But as always thank you for sitting in on another react by your lovely admin. I am now going to finish that Bael oneshot and gear up for a full Valentine's day of Beel for you all. -your lovely admin ♥( ˆ⌣ ˆԅ)

[fuumiku]

Chilcille huh... ngl I was a little suspicious. like why would you do that, huh... hope youre not mischaracterizing anyone in your weird and wacky ship. a little weird. but then you said they both had flat asses and you know what? I salute you and your perfect characterization

The fact you seem to think you managed to not make this ask insulting is baffling. What the hell. Fuck off.

If you actually care to be open minded about the ship, I talk about marchil on my sideblog 24/7. Funnily enough I’m currently 4k words deep into an analysis of their character arc together in canon, but that’ll take some more days to get done. Some notable posts:

Of course without counting the analyses of Chilchuck on his own I’ve made, like my masterpost on his family situation. Or better yet you could also read my fics for them, see how weird and wacky they are here.

Wanna talk about mischaracterisation? They’re literally a comedic duo who interacts 24/7. Marchil is crazy bc ppl are like "did those shipper read with their eyes CLOSED?? They have no chemistry!" Meanwhile canon is like: "She’s obsessed with knowing everything she can about him and she reads him like a book." In her eyes he’s like that extra rare and hard and shiny unlockable dating sim character, that brooding mysterious character trope that’s thrilling to crack open and typically is at the center of the plot. The wife roleplay???? "Hey, did you know his type is blondes. Hey did you know he likes his women pretty and blonde. Hey did you know he likes her hair. Hey did you know that he teases her 24/7 and it’s one of the few things that consistently gets him grinning because he finds her reactions cute." Like a schoolyard bully pulling on the pigtails of the girl he likes.

It’s not like they have any thematic narratives or relevance. It’s not like she’ll live to 1000 and has existential dread about it while he’s logically gonna be her next friend to die at 50 and wether it’s romantic or platonic it’ll terrify her to lose him. It’s not like it’s fear of death x fear of rejection so they’re both obsessed with the thought of loss looming, past and ongoing. It’s not like it’s half-elf x half-foot and there’s an inherent journey that was and still is to dispel prejudices and truly come to see each other. It’s not like he’s painfully real and raw and flawed but still a good man, that he’s not the figure of prince charming that she’s always dreamed of while still being virtuous and worth fighting for. Or you know, her hair being golden and it being the epitome of beauty to him, and his hair turning silver and it being Marcille’s worst nightmare.

Just a weird wacky ship who means nothing but shallow things to people who have weirdo reasons for liking it. Like can you not. If you’re not imaginative enough to think of reasons why this ship may have an appealing dynamic that’s not my issue. But yes, yes, they’re both flat asses to me, thanks.

[princessbrunette]

rade is toxic in the dominant controlling way but jj is toxic in the self loathing begging pleading if you leave me ill kill myself way and ppl need to write that more tbh! its delicious! - 🐰

U GET IT UGHHHHH like it’s borderline manipulative but he really doesn’t mean to :(( bc he actually believes that he’s a piece of shit n you could do better….. so if u look at another guy for like more than 1 second even just in passing he’s gonna have to unnecessarily beat that guy into the ground n start a fight out of thin air so ur patching him up later on whilst he’s crying n telling you he’s got nothing without u :/// like wtf !!!!!

n anytime u argue even if it’s not that deep it always ends in him storming off yelling like “go ahead! leave me! gonna end up that way anyway huh!” n now u have to console him .

[parasytte]

Omg I got 2 scenarios

1) what if Ivan (yan!gamer) and reader knew eachother irl? Like reader is like gushing about this new player whos super nice and talking about their fun experiences with them and Ivan knows theyre talking about him but he still doesn’t have enough confidence to tell reader its him cause it might make things awkward?

2) its similar to the first one but instead of reader gushing about Ivan, its another player? Like Ivan overhears reader talk about this sweet person who likes the same things as them and is always flirty, funny and overall just a fun person to be with? Then ivan gets jealous and stuff?

going w number 2 because i <3 jealous ppl ,, changed ur ask just a teensy winsy bit ,, also not proofread

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

it had become basically a routine now since you’ve got a new best friend - ivan.

everyday at a certain time of day, like clockwork, you’d call him and play a few games with him while talking about your day.

you really enjoyed this part of your day .. you might even say it’s your favorite part of the day - but do you know who enjoyed your little gaming/chatting sessions even more?

ivan.

every single day he’d sit at his gaming chair just staring at his pc. his leg would bounce at a fast speed while he picked at the skin around his fingers, waiting for your message.

his heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest when a ‘ding!’ comes from his pc.

“hi !! i’m home now :))) wanna call and play ????”

ivan types so fast he misspells, “yws plessee”, as he hits the call button before the message can even finish sending.

you answer almost as fast as he called god his heart fluttered .. you must be just as excited to talk to him as he is to talk to you !!!! and he even though he’s heard your voice a million times ivan will never, ever get sick of it.

the call’s usually always begin the same, you guys say a quick ‘hello’ and decide what game to play then take turns talking about your days, but this call is different.

ivan can tell just from your voice what your feeling; no matter how good you are at hiding it, and today you clearly aren’t doing a good job masking the giddiness in your voice.

he can practically hear the way your trying to bite back the smile he just knows is on your lips. it makes ivan happy, too.

he smiles, “c’mon, what’s got you so happy today?” ivan asks.

you respond with a coy “nothing!” but ivan isn’t fooled. god, you’re so cute. what has you acting this way?

“i’m not stupid, y/n,” ivan says back, “tell me? pleaseee?” he begs. you roll your eyes at this and let out a laugh, unable to bite back your smile.

“okay, okay! i’ll tell you …” you take a moment to gather your words.

“there’s this person ..”

ivan’s smile drops.

“.. and their just ..”

his heart stops fluttering.

“… so amazing.”

his heart shatters.

all of a sudden, ivan isn’t so happy you’re happy. what the fuck do you mean “there’s this person” ? the happiness ivan felt before has now turned into red-hot anger and the butterflies that were once fluttering lively in his stomach have now turned into rage-filled locusts that are trying to tear their way out of his throat.

he’s so angry about this person that he hasn’t even noticed that you were waiting for his response.

“ivan? ivan, are you there?” your voice snaps him back into reality.

“.. huh? oh, sorry! my discord has been so glitchy today.” ivan lies through gritted teeth. “you said something about a person, right? tell me more about them!”

at this you go on and on about this person you’ve been talking too lately- about how their so sweet, funny, and just oh-so fun to be around! is he not enough for you? - and as outraged as ivan is, and how bad he just feels like breaking something .. or, better yet, tracking down that pathetic, sorry, low-life bastard that he can’t even find the words to describe, and give them what they deserve, atleast, on the bright side, the more you talk about this person, the more he knows about them.

and the sooner he can deal with this home-wrecker.

[itsjaywalkers]

As the person asking for the reg nsfw headcanons (I pinky promise it’s me) I was thinking interviewer reg, but honestly anything works :)

i actually got two of these nonnie so . now i'm conflicted.. who's the original one huh..

but it's fine bc i'm nice like that and i love talking about my silly lil miserable guy (regulus) so !! sure u can have some interviewer reg nsfw hcs !! i love calling them hcs as i'm not the author lmao

like i've already mentioned, he isn't super sexually active!! he does have some casual sex sometimes, to relieve stress and simply bc he enjoys it, but he's a very busy man (and fairly well-known too) so he's gotta be careful + has other priorities

regardless, he's a bit of a menace in bed

he knows what he wants and what he likes, and he's usually very confident in bed (apart of when he gets like . dysphoric yk) (which fortunately doesn't happen that often anymore)

he usually prefers anal not only bc he genuinely likes it but also . bc he isn't always comfy using with his front hole with ppl he doesn't trust/isn't close with, and it's easier to just go for anal sex rather than going for his front hole just to realise that he isn't really feeling it and having to bring it up to his one night stand

this is different with james obviously!! not bc he has feelings, we all know that at the beginning is mere attraction, but bc he knows him

when they begin hooking up they're kinda close and despite how reg insists he can't stand him, there's some trust between them and james doesn't feel like stranger!!

that being said, they also have anal sex ofc

like james, reg is also very switchy, but unlike him, he's very aware that he likes both, having control + relinquinshing it AND both topping and bottoming

he's kinda topped almost as much as he's bottomed tbh. but then again, he doesn't sleep around THAT often

he's veryyyy into spanking, both giving and receiving (impact play in general tbh)

tends to get quite loud

kinda into exhibitionism + vouyeurism but he didn't really know until james, bc again, he tends to be very discreet about his sex life, and never has it in outrageous places

the most public setting for him has been a cheeky blowjob in a club's toilets (again, until james)

isn't usually fond of pet names outside of sex but digs them when he's very horny (there's a shift in how he feels when james uses them once they start hooking up + when they begin dating)

loves to get choked during sex (also enjoys doing the choking, but prefers receiving)

more into hickeys and bruises than he'd like to admit but since his job doesn't allow to have these kinds of marks on display, he tends to not indulge in it, and always tells his partners to not leave anything on his skin

has toyed with bondage before, but nothing too intense or complicated

very into overstimulation

dacryphilia!! which he discovers thanks to james, when he begins topping him and makes him sob into the matress for the first time

has never seen the appeal of sex tapes or nudes and he's still not that much of a fan once he gets with james BUT they're both quite filthy and the thrill kinda does something to him + he likes watching himself and james have sex

as insatiable as james, gets horny easily but is a lot better at hiding it

praise kink!! and humiliation kink!! leans more towards the former tho

enjoys degrading james immensely

and we're gonna leave it there for now <3

[llycaons]

hl really is so boring. like it was fun in the moment when reading the novel for the first time but then there’s a post-novel clarity where its like huh the relationship is actually so shallow. idk how ppl can compare hl and wx and think hl is better (even tho novel wx has major issues too). but comparing it to cql wx? its not even a competition, cql wx wins by far 💀

for REAL. hualian's big strength is that they have fabulous chemistry. every scene with them together is genuinely really fun and silly and I can tell very easily how much they care about each other, which is why despite my griping I actually do enjoy a lot of the romance scenes in the book. but if you're looking for something deeper, or even something real....it's just not there. it's all fantasy and idealization and hyper-devotion to the point where you have literally nothing else in your life that you care about or think makes life worth living. hc giving xl his ashes and saying essentially 'if you die, there's no point to me living' is actually really sad. xl inspired a traumatized child to live and then instead of actually living his life that child just devoted himself to xl utterly...it's just a self-fulfilling loop. hc never found anything else that he cared about or loved or was passionate about to really live for. he died for xl MULTIPLE times and he never appreciated his existence beyond xl's presence, which is honestly one of the most depressing endings a traumatized child can have

also you're so right when you say it's shallow. hc like 'gege is absolutely perfect and beyond reproach' and xl is like 'hc is so funny and we get along so well' and sure you have the dramatic "I saved your life/I'll kill for you' backstory but that didn't make it more interesting, it's just made it more dramatic. their principles, their morals, their life experiences, their perspectives and goals and respective places in life - it's not that those things are incompatible in the relationship, they're just irrelevant to the relationship. so like...what does any of this matter besides 'well they're happy now!' I personally like when characters care about each other for actual reasons that tie into the themes of the stoy

and yeah, despite its issues novel wx was extremely compelling and their dynamic for the most part made sense bc they complemented each other rly well and there were such good romantic scenes in the book i shan't lie. and like if two characters have never actually had to deal with genuine issues in their relationship because they just accept the other as perfect the way they are, its a very fragile and unstable dynamic because they have no idea how to resolve conflict or come to terms with being angry at each other. yet another reason wangxian is so much more stable and rewarding than hualian. they know what it's like to truly be opposed to each other, disagree with each other, hurt each other, and they found a resolution to that. not that they're perfect but in comparison, they've put in the work

and comparing hl to cql wx is really funny to me actually. real hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby situation in terms of like...themes...knowing each other...growing as people together...living meaningful lives...yeah idk how mdzs/cql fans moved on the tgcf and got into the romance because it's so much more simplistic and, imo, unappealing

ty for the ask!

[slimeranch7]

columbina x signora’s darling x arlecchino.

(update 2022-07-25, i posted part 2 if u horny ppls wanna check it out)

getting sent fanart of columbina x arlecchino sucking faces and my first reaction was "LET ME IN. LET ME IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN" but then i realized the power i have

Content warnings: DEAD DOVE, dubcon

-----

With La Signora’s passing, the Fatui Harbingers gathered, not to mourn, but to plot ahead, like she was nothing more than a sacrifice. Her company had been mostly dissolved, scattering into the reserves, by the time word had arrived that she was slain by the Mussou no Hitotachi. Others deployed into the field alongside her were either captured by the Shogunate, gone AWOL, or were forced to go into hiding. Those lucky enough were able to stick by your side as you snuck aboard a retreating Fatui vessel, back to your frozen homeland. 

When you arrived, you weren’t greeted with warm welcomes, but rather, a subtle kind of hostility, like they wanted to tear you apart. Most of your men were taken without a proper salute, by your master’s coworkers, her fellow Harbingers, and there would be nothing you could do as you watched them get dragged away for briefing. 

“Why, if it isn’t Signora’s favorite little underling!” Amidst the freezing winds of the harbor, you turn to meet the Regrator, 9th of the Fatui Harbingers, and just one position behind your former master’s. He eyes you with mirth and something else you can’t quite place, but you can’t return the gaze, so you kneel and bow to avoid conflict. “I was wondering if you would have stayed by your lady’s side as she got herself killed out there, but, it turns out…” He stops just before you as a show of power. “The dog is not as loyal as her master thought she was.”

“My lord.” You all but say in greeting.

“I admire your self restraint, little doggy.” He continues to provoke you to no avail. You’ve learned to live with the jabs over time, intentionally biting or not, courtesy of your late master. She mellowed down over time, respecting your competence in your field, but her sharp words never truly faded. Pantalone could never hope to become your new master, and you’d fight tooth and nail to make sure of that. Jealous bastard.

“Will you need me for a briefing, my lord?” You choose to ignore his snark, still refusing to give in.

“Maybe you could give me a better description as to what happened to Signora.” He quips. “I’m sure you saw it with your own eyes, if you follow her as closely as they say you do.”

Truthfully, you hadn’t. The only indication your late master’s death was a flaming moth, reminiscent of La Signora, fluttering in your direction, leading you far from the Tenshukaku, when thunder shook the grounds and you willed yourself not to look back, rounding up what men you could save, and evacuating the mission. She’s dead. She’s dead. 

Rosalyne had died.

And I couldn’t even collect her ashes like I promised, you swallow a painful lump in your throat as the moth flickers away into nothing, ship parting from the foreign land she had died in. There was nothing to take in remembrance. Rosalyne had died, and having nothing to remember her by, the memory you wanted to ingrain into your heart would too, extinguish with time.

“I was not present at the time of her passing, my lord. I sincerely apologize for the lack of intel.” Your knees hurt from the salt and snow, your eyes burn and your throat itches to let out a broken sob. Rosalyne is dead, and there’s nothing you can do to bring her back.

“Huh. I suppose there’s no point in looking back then.” The Regrator hums, unconcerned and terribly cruel. You grit your teeth, head still hung low. The harbor winds threaten to freeze your eyes shut. “With her gone, where will the masterless doggy go?”

Where would you go? 

You hoped that Her Majesty, The Tsaritsa, would allow for an early retirement.

Ha. At the ripe age of twenty? Tough luck. “I am unsure, my lord.” You answer.

“I’ll say this much,” He chuckles. “I am resourceful. I am wealthy. I have connections. Under me, your job will be far easier.” The Regrator leans down, dangerously close to catching sight of your frozen tears. “I’ve seen your face, darling. You’re beautiful. I���m sure you’d make a great addition to my company.”

You refuse. “Thank you for your gracious offer, my lord.” Your heart stays with Rosalyne. “But-”

“She’s with us.”

You urge yourself not to shoot straight up to see who had taken claim so quickly. Only when the Regrator rises to full height, do you dare to sneak a peek. The Harlequin and the Dove. Why are they here? 

The Regrator says nothing more and leaves.

“Milady, Arlecchino, Columbina,” You greet, head dipping even lower than before. You’re aware of them to be close associates of Rosalyne’s, but what happens behind closed doors is beyond you. What are they to your late master? What are they to you, if your loyalties will always lie with La Signora, even in death? What are they planning? 

“Come on, it’s colder than normal, today.”

You pause. Your loyalties will always lie with La Signora, even in death, you repeat in your head. “Milady, I apologize, but-”

“The Tsaritsa’s orders.” Arlecchino cuts you off. And who were you to disobey the very goddess Rosalyne dedicated her life to?

-----

“Did Rosalyne ever touch you, like this?”

Shakily, you turn your head sideways, subtly trying to creep away from her fingers prying your lower lips open, almost exposing teeth. “She has not, milady.” You wince as her hands trace lower, onto your neck, then resting on your shoulders. “M-My apologies, milady, I don’t understand the structure of your briefings,” You pause when she ghosts over your chest. “I… don’t see how these questions relate to the mission-”

“Rosalyne loved you.” Arlecchino intercepts bitterly. “She loved you, so she entrusted you to us.”

Rosalyne loved me. Rosalyne loved me. Rosalyne sent that moth. Rosalyne led me away from the Raiden Shogun’s Tenshukaku, away from the Mussou no Hitotachi. Rosalyne faced what should have been your duty, your diplomatic meeting, head on. Rosalyne sacrificed herself, not for the Tsaritsa. Rosalyne sacrificed herself for me. 

You feel like crumbling inside. It should’ve been you. You feel your heart melt and burn and char. You should’ve died in her stead. You feel your heart envelope with frost as cold as her.

Behind you, Columbina rests on the back of your chair, twirling your hair, gently tugging. She leans over to whisper directly into your ears, sending chills down your spine. “Mm. It’s only our duty to show you what she couldn’t.” You bite back an unsophisticated yelp as she licks the shell of your ear, then nibbling. “We’ll take good care of you for Rosalyne, right, Arlecchino?”

The taller girl hums an affirmative. And leans in to press a chaste kiss. For Rosalyne, you think.

Closing your eyes, you tilt your head to meet hers.

[yay-depression]

every day i set expectations and every day i’m reminded why i told myself not to do that

[sunshinesebby]

wow so this isn't a weird fever dream huh. still extremely mixed feelings

as a Lewis fan this makes sense for him, at least in some ways. The vibes at Merc have been off, he has a good relationship w Fred, and even if both Merc and Ferrari end up being meh he'll have swung for the fences and done sth iconic on his way out, that fits his legend status much more than just slowly fading out at Merc. I hope they'll treat him right and fight for him in case of issues like Merc just...didn't do much of late. But I am very worried about institutional/fan/media racism rearing its ugly head lbr

as a Charles fan I'm afraid this is gonna sabotage his chances to finally make his mark. but knowing how he likes to play everything on the hardest mode possible, he must be so incredibly excited to work with/learn from/fight with/potentially beat Lewis. And I believe in his abilities, I really don't think Lewis will wipe the floor with him like some are saying (or vice versa)

Overall I really hope this isn't just a prestige move but a sign that Lewis saw something he really, really liked in the current Ferrari project and that his remarkable instinct struck again and we're about to witness greatness. Lewis knows what it's like to be in a winning team and I hope he can bring things that will also end up benefiting Charles in the long run. I hope they fight hard and fair and that they're well matched and nothing happens to tarnish either of their reputations. Tbh I am still rooting for Charles to bring the WDC back first after all the years of struggle, but I also NEED to see Lewis win his 8th.

As a fan I am really excited to see them engage more - every time we've seen them go at it on track it's been such clean beautiful racing and the emulation levels could be quite extraordinary. I'm so intrigued to see them interact more and the possible vibes and narratives and potential connection over art/music/style. I hope Ferrari realizes they have a lot more to gain branding wise in working with Lewis re: the extracurriculars rather than restrict him (which I can't see him accepting anyway) - idk much about how all of that works lmao but surely there's some iconic fashion stuff they could do there like the Valentino stuff come on !!!! you're Italians ! you can do better than the McDonalds visuals...And Charles would take to this like a baby duck to water i think. they've got one driver that's a fashion icon and the other that looks like a model and also really into fashion they're insane if they don't tap that . in general as a fandom creator i am EXCITED by the possibilities

but yeah i think i am really not looking forward to the toxicity in the fan spaces, have already been seeing a lot of hateful shit, a lot of people being really pessimistic, and i really hope we can carve out a space for ppl who are fans of both and not make the whole thing too miserable for ourselves. in the end yeah it's sport it's passion it's myth whatever but it's also two guys doing their job for a very dodgy corporation so like. we have to look out for our own quality of life and make sure we're having more fun than sorrow

[gvmdisease]

anyone i’m irl you saw nothing

foods disgusting again i hate this i really fucking hate this and i can’t stop eating bc it’ll effect my fainty shit more than it did before the faint got bad i got a comment on my weight yesterday from my mom it wasn’t anything serious it was just “you’ve gained some weight huh” but fuck i wanted to kms ik i’ve gained weight ik how much i’ve gained ik ive gained idk 50 maybe 60 pounds in the past year i fucking know i weigh 130 and ik i weighed 70-80 pounds the beginning of last year i was a 00 last year what am i now??? and i don’t want to eat i wanna lose weight again i don’t want to eat anymore and idek know why like idk why i hate my body but ppl with the exact same body shape who weigh the exact same are fucking beautiful but i can’t see myself that way like i notice every little fucking thing about my body and it fucking sucks i’ve noticed the stretch marks and cellulite on my thighs and shit i notice how much bigger i am i haven’t gotten to the point i feel the need to measure myself again thank fuck but i can’t fit into clothes that didn’t fit me at all last year not being able to fit in a pair of skinny jeans from fifth fucking grade made me want to so my fucking eyes out fifth fucking grade and my mom and dad don’t make this shit any fucking better with their who fucking personality’s being gym rats and counting calories 24 fucking 7 they never picked up on the signs from when i was eating 50 calories a day for months working out relentlessly bc it was all shit they did (well the lowest amount of calories they ate was probably like 1700) and i’m “being unsupportive” of my mom dieting when i say i will not eat something that im not apart of her fucking diet when it want to eat something “unhealthy” but i don’t want to fucking end up in the same fucking place i was last year and the year before fuck i literally don’t know what to do either bc it’s constantly on my mind no one makes food without nutrition facts so calories are constantly fucking there idk maybe i’m being dramatic but it feels like such a fucking setback and i don’t wanna bring it up to anyone bc i dont want anyone to worry but fuck i hate this shit so fucking much so fucking much man

[hatsunevitu]

did i mention i love kyman crossovers? i have come up with a kyman au that is a crossover with infinity train.

first of all if someone has no idea what infinity train is, that’s a cartoon about an odd train with an endless amount of cars in it. people get to this train suddenly, and they have a green flashing number on their hand, each is individual. it represents the main psychological trouble a person has. number can go up and down depending on how far a person is from solving the problem. the main aim of the train is to help ppl solve their trouble and make peace with themselves. (for example the main character of season 1 was a girl whose parents were divorced, and she blamed herself for that. she could only get off the train when she realised she’s not responsible for their decision and sometimes things change for the better)

so basically m4 + butters got to the train to the different cars each, but eventually they would find each other. i think first of all kyle found someone like butters or kenny, and cartman found stan. they would wander around through all those cars trying to understand the meaning of the numbers. when they finally all met up they saw that everyone’s numbers are different (butters has the biggest one and kenny has the least one) except for kyman because they share the same number. and it really pisses them off, because they have no idea why the hell they have something (anything) in common. so they’d start arguing and fighting AND THE NUMBER SUDDENLY WENT UP.

cartman: Aye! Are you copying me or what?

kyle: What are you talking about, Fata– oh! Your number! The same as mine…

cartman: Yeah, Kahl, that’s what I wanted to ask you about!

kyle: I have no idea why it is this way. Probably a coincidence?

cartman: What are the odds of this, huh?

kyle: I don’t know! And fuck off already, I’m already pretty sick of hearing you again.

cartman: You’re sick?? I’m the one who is forced to stay in a godforsaken closeted space with fucking Kyle!

kyle: Ughhh, it was much better to walk with Kenny, you fat fuck.

cartman: Yes, I also prefer Stan’s company muuuch better! …Wait.

kyle: Huh?

cartman: The number. It changed. It was 167 and now it’s 176!

kyle: …Mine too…

cartman: So they are connected.

kyle: I guess they are…

cartman: Oh, screw it, now my number is connected to the jew’s number! That’s not good, I swear it’s a bad luck…

kyle: Shut up already, would you?? I’m trying to think. You made our numbers go up.

cartman: Oh, so now it’s my fault?!

kyle: Whose else could it be?

cartman: My number was totally fine until I met you! I bet you did something to it and now because of your tricks I’ll never leave that train and never go home and that means I’ll never eat my goddamn KFC dinner my mother had promised me today.

kyle: Oh, so that’s the only thing that bothers you??

cartman: No, it actually bothers me a lot that I’m stuck here with you, of all people!!

(lmao btw the numbers are not random, 167 is a number of s16e7 “cartman finds love” and 176 is “ginger cow :D)

so they fight a lot and their number goes up and up, and then cartman does one small nice things for kyle and number goes a but down, so he realises the number depends on their friendship??? so he starts using it trying to act nice and good to kyle (not genuinely ofc)

cartman, opens the car’s door for kyle: After you, my dear friend.

kyle: What are you doing?

cartman: What? Just trying to help you, that’s all.

kyle: …You enter this one first.

cartman: What. Why?

kyle: I don’t trust you. It’s probably the most dangerous one and you just want to lock me there or something.

cartman: Why would I do that, Kahl?

kyle: Because you hate me.

cartman: That’s not true! It’s just friendly fighting, nothing more. Come on, Kyle, I’ll help you with that car! Hey, and did I mention you look sooo great today?

kyle, raising an eyebrow: The fuck are you talking about? What’s the catch? And why do you keep looking at your number?

cartman: Oh my GOD! Can’t I just be nice to you for a goddamn minute without you suspecting me of some delusional ideas, you fucking jew?!

kyle: I want to know why you’re nice, because I will never believe you’re genuine about that.

cartman: Oh, for fuck’s sake, just keep going!

and he realises it doesn’t work until it’s sincere.

so it takes them about two months to fix their friendship and be honest about it. that they don’t actually hate each other, that they have much more in common than they thought. and then they’re stuck at something like 10, for, um, two weeks. nothing they do can change their number no matter how nice and good they are to each other. the thing is the train wanted them to be honest to themselves, and they couldn’t do it without admitting they like each other more than friends :3

AND OH GOD PLS TELL ME IT DOESN’T SOUND DELUSIONAL AND CRINGE BECAUSE IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SHIT FOR LIKE THE WHOLE DAY.

[yuukei-yikes]

im extremely kidomomopilled right now.

momo is the first person outside of kido's family to see their burn scars. and she's glad kido was able to share something like this with her and helps them be less insecure about them, to the point where kido can now wear short sleeve shirts/sleeveless shirts around the rest of the dan.

adult!kidomomo time. momo is sooo the type of person to drop their kid off at school and be shout "HAVE A NICE DAY ILY" out the window and hibiya tries to act like he does Not know this lady. thankfully after the first 3 times kido would just conceal the car so neither hibiya or the other kids around him hear momo. god bless.

YES🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 comfortable kido *bows bows bows*

also u said kid and i was like KIDOMOMO KAGEKID⁉️ then it was just hibiya and i was like. oh. yeah. yeah. true

momo is those tiktoks that are like picking up my little brother at school🔥 and kesha is playing LOUDLY while a rly embarrassed kid gets in the car. thats momo and hibiya

momo wouldnt NEED to take or pick up hibiya from school bc he can manage himself. but she INSISTS. "we barely get to hang out anymore!!!" she says.... "this is our quality time of the day!!!!!"

hibiyas like this is so stupid we live together we dont need to HANG OUT or HAVE QUALITY TIME. we're always together at home!!!! <- idiot boy. he says that but he also likes these rides with momo bc he does miss her its just that hes like 16 or something and has friends his age he hangs out with AND he's probably very busy studying a lot since a Big condition his parents allow him to move to kashiwa with kidomomo is if he keeps EXCELLENT grades...

also what if hibiya Can manage himself very well in the city bc he's basically got the map memorized cuz of the timeloop (hc from this fanfic though from hiyori's pov go read it if u can stomach the tags its sooooo good)(but also very angsty nothing like what were talking abt here LOL) but he's still not super into navigating it by himself. even if he's lived there for a while he's still rly uneasy walking around so many ppl and shops. i think hiyori manages better by herself than he does so hibiya isnt entirely against momo coming everywhere

sorry i made it all abt hibiya and momo but u were brainrotting abt kidomomo. kido concealing THE WHOLE CAR is so funny but i guess they could do that huh anyways kidomomo should kiss like a tiny little mwack in front of hibiya and hibiya cringes and acts like its the end of the world and he needs to move out immediately