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bestworstcase · 2 years

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I saw your post on the V7 intro and YEAH. IT BOTHERS ME TOO.

I’m an avid listener of the rwby soundtracks. And it was just so weird to have Trust Love, something so up beat and fun be the opening to the volume that tail spins into oblivion.

The lyrics are clear tho.

“Trust love and open up your eyes. The truth is there but sometimes in disguise.”

“When we trust in love an open up our eyes.”

“Instead your counting on that second sight”

ITS ABOUT THE EYES. ITS ALWAYS ABOUT THE EYES with Rwby. And while the opening is significant to some degree for V7. It actually feels more like it’s Foreshadowing v9.

Maybe it’s too much of a stretch. But if you really pay attention to the lyrics. Trust love is about believing and trusting yourself. Trusting your gut. In order to do the right thing. There’s a lot of self reflection involved. Which is supposed to be 9s core theme. And sure maybe it’s coincidently but. There’s something about that song that’s just a little too whimsical. And little too on the nose for kids who were dragged into a seemingly endless war and want to be whisked away or written into a fairy tail so all their problems could disappear. And v9 comes in and subverts that

hgjfjbd i promise u i PROMISE “trust love is foreshadowing for team rwby v9 arcs that hasn’t come due yet” is far less of a stretch than mine (and also tbh, i think probably the take i would buy most out of the thoughts that have been shared so far on the grounds of it providing a reason for the tonal dissonance that makes sense to me). song abt rejecting fantasy and embracing, trusting what’s real being the only way forward followed by a volume where the kids get chucked into a literal fairytale world and have to escape is also, very rwby and the v8 opening sequence also pretty overtly gestures at v9 fairytale stuff (happy ever after/happy? never again) so like. . . yeah.

the thing is like?? i didn’t blink twice at trust love at first, because a) it was building from a pretty strong trend of openers getting more and more hopeful and upbeat from v4 onwards, and b) it came right on the heels of v6 ending on this triumphant beat of ruby intentionally activating her eyes for the first time by thinking about her loved ones, past and present. plus, as @habitual-shrimp summarized nicely in her rb, there’s a lot of “trust in love or give in to fear” arcs happening in v7, making trust love and fear logical bookends for the volume despite the…weird… tone thing.

BUT THEN

i made the mistake of paying attention to the lyrics a while back and my horrible gremlin brain zeroed in on this verse like a fucking shark detecting blood in the water: “if you could only open up a door/spread your wings and fly away from here/write yourself into a fairytale/all your problems would just disappear” and went oh that’s very specific imagery that evokes a very specific pair of characters doesn’t it AND THEN i was like wait a minute this is a song exhorting its subject to open their eyes, stop hiding, stop pretending, stop retreating into fantasy to cope with utter despair because no matter how dark it seems and no matter how many lies might obscure it the plain truth is that what they truly want is right in front of them staring them in the face if only they could stop burying themselves in fairytales and SEE CLEARLY for once—(at this point i went Oh No because this was a whole train wreck of a thought and yet)—it is. in short. a song in which the speaker urges the subject to let go of a metaphorical blindness so they can save themself by seeing their love aaand that is how i accidentally slammed myself face first into “turn love is a salem song playing conceptually with the blinding of rapunzel’s prince and eventual restoration of his sight by her tears” and now i CAN’T UNHEAR IT

it’s got coherent lyrical parallels to both sacrifice and until the end literally just kill me

it’s the opener for the volume in which ozpin is absent for 95% of the runtime because he’s sunk into the absolute depths of utter despair only to drag himself back up at the very end for a pensive, introspective, emotionally honest monologue on the subject of fear with until the end played under it in the exact moment of salem’s arrival in atlas!!!

hfghfns and like objectively this is Not What The Song Is (right?? it can’t be?) and if trust love weren’t so tonally perpendicular to its volume i probably wouldn’t be like “…UNLESS??” but it is and i am because it’s already weird why not?? read it as a deliberately discordant commentary on ozpin’s critical failures wrt salem and how the consequences of those failures have metastasized into retreating so far into denial and lies, insulating himself so thoroughly in the comforting simplicity of fairytales, that even he can’t really tell what’s true and what isn’t anymore, about her or about himself?? it’s NOT like his terrified refusal to engage with salem as a person which he passed down to the current generation as an inability to even conceive of brokering peace with the unbeatable enemy as a possibility at all is their biggest obstacle or anything except OH WAIT IT IS!!

😵‍💫

anyway when i’m not preoccupied with being completely out of my mind about this song i figure it’s probably? maybe?? meant as a complement to for every life—the thematic and emotional fulcrum of the atlas arc is the realization of the ideological struggle between hope and fear, so trust love exemplifies pure hope just as for every life exemplifies pure, bleak despair? which in fairness, i guess, to my deranged brain, WOULD make sense of salem and oz having this presence in them akin to the presence they have in this will be the day and when it falls; in that v1/v3 they were the narrators and in v7/v8 they are the symbolic harbingers of hope (ozpin’s return in 7.13 marks an abrupt emotional about-face towards courage in the face of dire circumstances) and fear (salem’s arrival—well, you know). but hhhhhhhhhHHHHH

#SIDEBAR i think it’s important probably #to keep in mind that eyes have #symbolic importance to characters #who are not ruby #i don’t think a particular song #merely referencing eyes/sight is #sufficient grounds to conclude it’s about ruby #eg many of yang’s songs evoke #the imagery of her red eyes #cinder’s eyes are described in when it falls #sight and reflection are recurring symbols in weiss’s songs etc #PLUS. when songs reference ruby’s eyes #they tend to do so unambiguously #with the specific image #of ‘mirrored eyes’#for example #or echoing overtly #the associated lore #as in miracle with ‘desire to preserve life is powering the light’#i think the only vague lyrical ref is ‘there’s a light that shines’ in indomitable #which…plays over ruby actually using them so it’s still unambiguous in context #( i *might* buy the argument for #until the end ‘as light fills my eyes’#being ruby or summer IF the song were not #in every other respect including contextual #very clearly abt ozma #whose return immediately prior #is signaled by the golden flash #in his and oscar’s eyes. context!! )#THAT SAID i can see the argument for trust love eye imagery being ruby-specific. given the silver = mirrors = revealing truth link 🤔

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a-casual-egg · 2 years

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Idk I had a thought abt Eleanor and Barnaby both being vampires

——

Barnaby doesn't know much about Eleanor, other than the fact she teleported once but couldn't teleport again and she wants to bring magic back. She's also old, and has a past with the head Dimmer Sister.

Ok maybe he knows a fair amount about Eleanor but this is new. The red splotches on the carpet definitely weren't there before. The red splotches lead Barnaby toward Eleanor's room. Anxiety swells up in Barnaby's chest, a feeling he knows all too well.

Barnaby freezes in the hallway, he doesn't want this to be happening. He doesn't want to be right. He really doesn't want Eleanor to be dead. Him standing still in the hallway isn't helping especially if she's dying but not dead yet. He could help her . . . somehow, get her to a doctor or bandage some bloody wound. Not stand in the hallway where behind a door an elderly woman is bleeding out.

Barnaby shakes his head and pushes the door open and what he sees is something he would have never expected. Eleanor is using a napkin to clean the blood off from around her mouth. She makes eye contact with Barnaby and she barely looks suprised, her eyebrows rise a bit and she stands up in suprise but that's about it.

"Wh-" Barnaby starts but he can't get the rest of the sentence out.

The two stand in silence for a little while. Barnaby's eyes dart around as he tries to find the source of all this blood. He can't find it and he looks to Eleanor for help. It's weird in a way looking at an elderly vampire and asking with his eyes where she hid the body. Barnaby hopes she didn't eat it along with the blood inside.

Eleanor seems to understand the question in Barnaby's eyes and she scoffs, "I didn't eat the body. It's already been disposed off."

Barnaby stays silent as his train of thought is off the tracks and his mouth is desperately trying to catch up. Barnaby must look pitiful based on Eleanor's expression. She cleans up a little as she waits for Barnaby's mouth to say something as it chased after his brain.

Eleanor ends up setting stuff up for cleaning the carpet and floor as Barnaby finally utters words.

"Wait?! You're a vampire?!" is what his body decides to say.

"Yes, and so are you I take?" Eleanor responds without missing a beat.

Barnaby stands there silent again, this time suprised she knows he's a vampire. Who is he kidding? Of course Eleanor would know! He lets go of breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Y-yes?"

Eleanor sighs and gently adjusts Barnaby's coat. She then adjusts Barnaby's hair as he reels from the news.

——

It's been a couple weeks since Barnaby found out about Eleanor. They've spent a lot of time together after that, talking abt vampires, how vampires could be connected to magic, and things like that. It's nice to have someone to talk to about stuff that isn't typical rich person stuff.

It's a lot calmer now but Barnaby can tell Eleanor has been paying more attention to him. It started as small things but lately it's been having him stay behind from heists and help her with things, mainly household chores.

So now he's washing dishes and Eleanor is tiding up in the living room. It's mostly quiet but there is the occasional humming from Eleanor, she keeps starting and stopping as if she can't remember how it goes but can't get it out of her head either. It keeps Barnaby's mind off such a boring thing like washing dishes. Servantsare the ones that do these things not him. Do servants really have to do these boring chores?

"Now, Barnaby"

"Yes?"

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Do you mean eat or drink blood?"

"Blood."

"Hm, a decent amount of time ago."

"Decent amount of time ago?"

"Yeah, decent amount of time ago. Not too recent but not too far away."

"Right, is that why you look so tired?"

"Me? Look tired? I think you're the one that looks tired Eleanor."

"Hm, maybe so but still, look after yourself? Please, for me?"

Barnaby pauses, he looks down at the elderly woman. Barnaby wanted to question the wording and why for her, but he just looks at her. Meanwhile, Eleanor tries to decipher Barnaby's expression.

"Yeah, I'll get to that eventually."

Eleanor pats his back then heads back to her work. Humming the tune she can't quite remember again.

——

Barnaby hadn't had blood in a while. He's fine, he swears he's fine but he can tell Eleanor isn't buying it. He can deal with her nagging him about it but if the other's started nagging him about it . . . he doesn't need that. He can take care of himself, he's a grown man, a very rich grown man but still.

Barnaby's already told them he's a vampire to, well, differing reactions, Edvard and Lilith thought it was cool but Zillah and Kasimir seemed a little, on edge about it. Well they don't know much about the supernatural so he can't blame them.

Edvard seemed oddly friendlier after the confession, well maybe friendlier isn't the term but rather . . . more talkative. He'd start talking to Barnaby more, mostly about vampires, sometimes other stuff but mostly vampires. Definitely a goth that one. Bit odd but's good to have his company.

Another thing that came with talking to Edvard more is the looks. Now Edvard Lumiere has many different kinds of looks, the one where he's estatic and passionate (usually about an invention), the one where he's listening, like really listening, then there's his angry rant face, and one where whenever Barnaby sees it Edvard is quickly looking away. Barnaby assumes it's some weird studying like trying to see his skull inside his head.

The one Barnaby absolutely hates though, is Edvard's pity look. Edvard's eyebrows furrow and his eyes look stormy and it's a storm of pain. Barnaby knows Eleanor has let the others know about Barnaby's blood drinking habits because of that look. She's at least told Edvard and he can tell that Barnaby's hungry yet won't ask for help. Barnaby can take care of this hunger, it'll go away, at least that's what he told Eleanor.

But now he's laying on the floor of his room in the townhouse, staring up at the ceiling. His stomach growls for way too long and too loud. He holds his flask to his chest. He has Eleanor and Edvard's concerned expressions burned into his mind. He downs a bit more of whatever's in the flask, he doesn't know what it is at this point, all he knows is it's alchoholic and that's good enough for him.

——

Barnaby feels a tap on his cheek and he groggily opens his eyes. The light coming through the window hurts his eyes and body. He curls in on himself then there's a light swoosh sound and the light is gone.

"Hey, Dracuscue"

Barnaby turns his head to face Edvard who continues to lightly tap Barnaby's cheek.

"Dracuscue?"

"Y-yeah, like Dracula mixed with Fortescue because you're a vampire and Fortescue is your last name and yeah-"

"That's awful" Barnaby responds, almost laughing.

Edvard goes to gesture with his hands about how it is not awful and Barnaby should shut up but as he pulls his hand from Barnaby's cheek Barnaby's eyes immediately dart to Edvard's wrist. For once it's not covered from sleeves or gloves and Barnaby's hunger takes over, Barnaby latches onto Edvard wrist with his teeth.

Edvard freezes in shock, I mean he doesn't entirely know why he's shocked, Barnaby is a vampire after all. Something like this was bound to happen, he's a little suprised this hasn't happened sooner. He watches Barnaby for a little while before turning to face Eleanor.

Eleanor looks between Edvard and Barnaby, before saying "Just let him eat. We'll have a talk with him later."

Edvard and Eleanor look back to Barnaby drinking from Edvard's wrist and Eleanor slowly makes her way to the other side of Barnaby and gently pets his head, Barnaby doesn't seem to notice. He's just hungry.

"God, how long did he not eat?" Eleanor wonders, "At the worst he had plenty of people to drink back at his house with servants."

Eleanor and Edvard lock eyes and it seems like Edvard had the same thought. They can't ask Barnaby because, well, he's a bit preoccupied at the moment. So they wait, it can't take too long right? How much blood does Barnaby need?

It's only a small while before Eleanor pulls Barnaby from Edvard's wrist like a mother cat carrying their kitten away from something dangerous. Barnaby blinks a few times and looks around like he doesn't know where he is. He sees Eleanor and sighs in relief and she rubs his back, he then sees Edvard and the two puncture holes in his wrist and looks in between the two.

Edvard sighs, "yes, you did that. It's fine."

Before Barnaby can utter any words Eleanor cuts in "How do you feel?"

"Not hungry that's for certain"

"That's good."

Eleanor passes Edvard some bandages from her pocket before asking, "now why did you let it get this bad?"

"Uhm, well," Barnaby says trying to find the right words in order to not get yelled at, "I-uh didn't think it would get this bad?"

Eleanor sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose.

"Barnaby, Barnaby, you know you can ask us for help right?"

"Yeah, I'm sure she means like help in general but, uhm, being a blood bank for a vampire would okay . . . like for science." Edvard responds as he finishes bandaging his wrist.

Barnaby's going to need time to process what Edvard just said because Edvard did not just say what Barnaby thinks he said.

Eleanor seems to notice this and interjects, "yes, well we'll figure that out."

Eleanor gets up and reaches out her hand for Barnaby. He takes it and gets up. They start walking and Edvard follows.

"We need to have a talk first though." Eleanor says in the same tone as a mother who's very upset about what their child did.

Barnaby has a feeling he's going to have a scolding rather than a talk.

#oxventure #oxventure in the dark #Eleanor #Barnaby #Barnaby Fortescue III #barnaby “the butcher” fortescue iii #edvard #edvard lumiere #vampire eleanor #vampire barnaby #egg writes

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starglow-xx · 4 years

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owning a bakery and being discovered by the ada and the port mafia (part 3)

platonic! yosano akiko x f! reader

type of writing: head canons !!

this is part of my head canon series, flour & fluff !!

tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!

series synopsis: owning a bakery at 20 is tough; even more so when you have to handle members of two opposing organizations! this is your journey to meeting those fools and creating an unlikely bond with each of them. but only at the cost of your peace and sanity.

fandom: bungou stray dogs

content: fluff & platonic stuff but trigger warning!! there may be a sensitive topic for others

*getting grabbed and pulled to an alleyway! alcohol mentioned!*

please remember that yokohama isn’t the friendliest place, especially at night.

previous: part 2 : their beloved president

author’s note: same ages as last time!! (so that means everyone is one year younger than canon; that makes yosano 24)

this one is actually pretty long :0

i got info abt her likes on her wiki page (careful! there’s spoilers!)

and yosano is a queen and no one can tell me otherwise

the doctor is in the house (quite literally)

going grocery shopping was an okay chore in your opinion

it honestly depended on your mood or whatever kind of shit happens when you go shopping

cause like something always, always happens whenever you go do groceries

sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, and sometimes it’s just plain weird

one time some weirdo proposed to you in the middle of the store asking for a double suicide

he was good looking you’d admit but it’s not like you’d ever see him again

or so you thought

a n y w a y s

every so often, you’d run out of real person food in your apartment

you mostly survive off all of the leftover bakery treats and ingredients—which works out pretty well actually—but bakery supplies unfortunately also run out quite often

and also unfortunately, one time when both fukuzawa & ranpo took a visit to Sakura’s, fukuzawa argued that “no you can’t live off sweets for the rest of your life”

ranpo was scandalized and scrambled to cover your ears

you guys were at it for a while

in the end you sided with fukuzawa causing ranpo to go off about “betrayal from the people he cared most abt” or smth like that

you guys were okay again after bribing him with sweets :)

for bakery supplies you usually have them delivered bc you order them in large quantities bc ahaha no way were you gonna carry like 15-20 50 pound bags of flour no way

when days like those happen, you close up the bakery early so you aren’t walking home when it’s too dark

you scheduled it to happen every first saturday of the month

on those saturdays, you close at 5 instead of at 8

currently, you were at the grocery store looking for basic cooking ingredients such as proteins, vegetables, fruits, and most importantly, snacks

ranpo’s been rubbing off on you

the sun was starting to set and you were walking home with your two bags of groceries when shit went down

tbh you were kinda expecting it cause your grocery run was peaceful for once

but what you weren’t expecting was a wack-a-do to appear out of goddamn nowhere right when you were opening the side door to get to the staircase up to your apartment

like honestly

let a woman do her own thing

the man who grabbed you tried to covered your mouth so you couldn’t scream but you didn’t exactly make it easy for him

you kicked and thrashed around even using the grocery bags—that were somehow still in your hand—as a weapon and the man struggled but he was still bigger than you and was able to bring you to a nearby alley

he reeked of alcohol and you spotted a wedding band on his left hand

not that you cared about the detail in the moment

you kicked him in the groin and in response he let you go only to fall on broken glass that was in the alley way

using the wall to help yourself up, you grabbed a nearby wooden stick and struck him right on his back

your attacker fell and you immediately turned on your heels to escape only to fall back down on the hard cold ground once again

you lift your face up and look back to see the man holding onto your ankle

grabbing a shard of glass—cutting yourself in the process— you begin to swing it at him only for him to easily grip your wrist and stop you

you get ready try and kick him in the groin again but you’re interrupted as your attacker gets sucker punched and flies to wall

you look up to see your savior and you’re blessed to see a beautiful woman, probably not that much older than you are—she’s probably around ranpo’s age— donning a white long sleeve button up, a matching black necktie, knee length skirt, and gloves, along with tights, red heels, and a pretty butterfly clip in her short black hair

but what you really notice is her eyes

ranpo’s eyes were pretty but you like hers just a bit more

you’ve always liked the color magenta

the pretty lady holds out her hand and you take it graciously and thank her as she helps you up

as that’s happening, your attacker gets himself onto his feet and his groan catches both of your attention

he struggles to stand and the pretty lady simples saunters over to him and delivers an uppercut knocking him out cold

you’re stunned and you breathe out a “thank you” making her turn towards you

she notices the condition you’re in

bleeding scrapes on your hands, arms and legs, small rips in your clothes like your tights, blouse, and skirt, and the ruffled state of your hair and clothing

she asks if you live nearby and you tell her that you own the bakery that’s one or two buildings away

when you tell her that, it clicks in her mind that you must be the bakery girl ranpo’s been talking about and the friend fukuzawa was cat sitting for

it’s been abt two weeks since ranpo and fukuzawa first met you and since then, they’ve seen lucky in the office plenty and the boxes of your signature sweets even more

if those two trust you, she has no reason not to

she smiles at you, holds out her hand for you to shake, and introduces herself as the doctor of the armed detective agency

your eyes widen and you smile back at her shaking her hand

“ah! you must be yosano-sensei then! ranpo-san and fukuzawa-san have talked about you! it’s so nice to meet you! im (l/n) (y/n)!”

“they’ve talked about you too, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you (y/n)”

after that exchange she insisted on bringing you home to treat you wounds which you told her it wasn’t necessary

she gave you a pointed look and that was when you realized what state you were in

you sighed and weakly gave in to which she only grinned at

before leaving the alley she walks over to the unconscious man and pulls out his wallet for some sort of identification and home address as you try to see if there’s any groceries still salvageable

after texting the details to kunikida, yosano turns to you poking around the now ruined grocery bags

she simply rubs your back and tells you that the both of you could go buy more groceries together as she was meaning to get some anyways; she even said she’ll pay for you

you refused obviously but she, unknowingly, used the same tactic fukuzawa used with you

“so you’re saying you don’t need groceries?”

“...”

*cue an eyebrow raise from our resident queen*

“...you agency members don’t like making things easy for me huh.”

you gave in reluctantly and at this point you don’t even know why you try negotiating with them

and that’s only three of them

apparently, she was on the other side of the street on the way to buy groceries for the agency when she noticed different produce items on the other sidewalk leading to the alley and she went to check out what happened

ironically, the way to the grocery store from the agency makes you go past Sakura’s but she didn’t realize it until after the two of you had met

before you know it, the two of you are in your apartment kitchen as she cleans and patches up all of your wounds

as she does so the two of you have a little girl talk

you find it quite comforting bc since you opened up Sakura’s you haven’t really had the chance to connect to many people much less other women

you definitely see yosano as your cool, loving, badass older sister

she thinks you’re adorable and agrees with ranpo’s opinion

yup

that’s right

the opinion that you’re like a little kid </3

you called it a betrayal and all she did was laugh at you <//3

“awhh that’s really cool yosano-sensei!—MFPH?!?”

*squishing your cheeks the same way ranpo did* “ranpo-san was right (n/n)-chan, your cheeks are squishy!”

“?!”

after that small fiasco, the two of you talked some more and bonded over your love for flowers, japanese sweets, and much more!!

you even made a date to have a girls day to go shopping and eat out!

you’re internally squealing a bit bc it’s been a while since you’ve gone shopping

yosano notices and she giggles behind her hand not saying anything bc she knows you’ll only throw a fit

the two of you came around the topic of ranpo when lucky passed by

lucky quickly warmed up to the doctor and cozied up in her lap

“i wish ranpo-san was able to meet lucky when he came by the first time, but then again, he’d probably throw a tantrum if i don’t pay attention to him for 5 seconds”

she snorted at that and like fukuzawa, she shared stories abt the slightly older male

“ranpo-san doesn’t know how to ride a train?”

“unbelievable right?”

“for someone so intelligent i expected more from him”

“i’ll be telling that to ranpo-san, (n/n)-chan”

“wha—?! yosano-sensei please don’t!”

like ranpo, she’s also a tease </3

but you love her anyway <3

eventually, she finished patching you up and promised to treat you to a new set of clothes when the two of you go out

“you don’t need to lose a good set of clothes just because of a sleazy man (n/n)-chan! you deserve better!”

you were going to argue that the rips in your clothes were fairly small and could easily be fixed—except the tights—but you stopped in your tracks when you remembered that it was practically useless to argue against an ada member

the two of you walked to the grocery store and bought both of your needed supplies—along with some extra goodies—and then she walked you back to your place bc it was already a bit dark out

but even if it wasn’t, she would walk you anyways

besides, if anything happened to you, she’s 1000% positive that ranpo and fukuzawa are gonna flip the fuck out not that she wont cause she most definitely will

speaking of which

you were drinking a bottle of water as the two of made your way back to Sakura’s when all of a sudden

“(y/n) you do realize that i have to tell shachou and ranpo-san about what happened today right?”

you choked on your water

“yosano-sensei you can’t! if you do they’ll freak! they won’t leave me alone for at least two weeks! one if im lucky!”

“exactly the point”

you just accepted your defeat already knowing that you’d lose

but maybe you can simmer down their anger towards the bastard with sweets and lucky

you arrived at Sakura’s shortly after and after bringing groceries in, you packaged a bunch of pastries leftover from today—bc you closed early—and bc you’re well aware that ranpo doesn’t share any of the sweets you send him with

you even gave yosano her own special box filled with goodies she loves, and a thermos of fukuzawa’s favorite, your special hot honey lemon tea

other than the sweets, you prepared lucky to spend the night at fukuzawa’s

you really really hoped that doing these things would make them calm down

you shivered at the thought of what their responses would be

you felt really bad for giving yosano all these things to carry and that you were keeping her very late

she assured you that she was fine and that if someone tried to mess with her she’d kick their ass

and after exchanging numbers, the magenta eyed queen bid you a good night and walked back to the agency with lucky walking by her heels

arriving back at the agency, yosano was greeted with some concerns asking if she was alright bc she came back from her grocery run pretty late

(she usually goes in the mornings but today was pretty busy so she left in the late afternoon but now it was already dark)

she waved off the concerns and plopped a couple boxes of your signature bakery boxes at ranpo’s desk, the one for her at her own, the last few boxes in the kitchen for any other agent or clerk to grab, placed the thermos on the desk fukuzawa was by, and picked up lucky and handed him to the president

the two males were pleased with what yosano had brought them, and pleased that another agency member had the chance to meet you

fukuzawa was rubbing lucky and ranpo already snacking on treats as yosano expected

but here comes the hard part

or maybe it’s gonna amusing who knows

“i met (y/n) today.”

“we could tell.”

in goes another treat in the green eyed man’s mouth

“would you like to know how?”

“you bumped into each other, had girl talk, made plans to go out, went grocery shopping, and you brought me and shachou presents.”

“great job ranpo-san, you’re almost completely correct.”

this caught the attention of basically everyone bc they knew ranpo was never “almost completely correct”

“we ended up meeting bc she got attacked on her way home from grocery shopping, i treated her wounds, then we had girl talk and did all the other stuff”

ranpo and fukuzawa froze right in their tracks

“i sent all the info of the bastard to kunikida”

“kunikida.”

“yes shachou”

“find out everything about that man and bring it to me and ranpo”

“...yes shachou”

“and yosano”

“yes?”

“text (y/n) and tell her that her cat, tea, and pastries aren’t going to work as a bribe”

just as you finished taking a shower you sneezed

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 6.(Part 1)

The main female protagonist who, has been the “mother /psychiatrist/ fixer/curse-breaker” for 57 eps & 2 seasons, has finally had her own “I’m a real person with my own issues” ep !!!! YESS! So happy!!! also, so underwhelmed. Tohru has been painted to be this utterly selfless & altruistic character for long, that when she’s finally a balanced character it’s presented in half an episode? Don’t get me wrong, I like the ep, but there’s also the same feeling of bullet train that I felt in momiji’s ep! ugh!! I hated that feeling! Go away~ oh well.. I’ll quickly state what I didn’t like, before jumping into what I liked, in order to end with a happier note~

What I didn’t like:

Tohru’s monologue after leaving shigure & Isuzu felt more like a background exposition more than a true character’s thoughts. The reason is that It is quickly narrated with quick flashbacks from the past with intentional pieces missing from the flashback. Pieces like” how did Kyoko hurt tohru? She said to kyo, in se02, ep “ I feel like I’ve only caused her sadness” & tohru’s flashbacks in se02 of her mother leaving/ closing a door. All these things not included in tohru’s 1st ever personal monologue made it seem like quick fill in for the audience more than tohru’s main struggle. Compare it to Yuki’s 3 ep monologue in se02, filled with all his own background info, hence, we as audience sit back & just feel. With tohru a little brain work is needed of putting things together in the puzzle is needed because NOTHING abt her trauma has ever been explained to us prior to her monologue . Also, compare this kyo. A character who ONLY have 2 eps dedicated to him in 57 eps, yet even without monologues & with hidden secrets for climax purposes, his emotions are clear cuz his background was explained early in se01, ep24 & se02, ep9. Compared to them both, her monologue felt a bit lacking.

What’s up with the following scene? Her crying & kyo comforting her mid-street. He saw her crying, asked what’s wrong & she couldn’t say & he gave her a comforting advice. All good. Kyo always give the most needed advice for tohru to be herself & feel comforted. Se01, “complain more, be selfish” Se02, somen table scene & asking her abt her future plans & the hiro incident. Kyo has tried to guess whats wrong first. Here he saw her cry in the middle of the street & just gave her an advice? couldn’t he at least guess wrongly if it is her granpa? school? anything? This scene is AMAZING but it feels off a little.

Kyo’s “ now I remember” EXCUSE ME?????? se01, ep14, valentine ep, he got a nightmare, then when shigure talked to him, we saw a quick flashback that we didn’t now what it is but now it IS kyoko. se02, the entirety of ep9 & the “ I won’t forgive you” & the flashback of young him with kyoko talking abt tohru. se02, ep 22 his fight with yuki & the clear face of kyoko telling him abt something regarding the hat. His entire shutdown of tohru IS abt kyoko NOT abt him being a monster cuz tohru accepted monster kyo in se01 ep 24! so.. REMEMBER WHAT????? the accident?? I feel like being hit with a rock. I mean, it makes sense that kyo will get PTSD after seeing the hat, cuz he remembers the bloody accident vividly. But it is the dialogue that IS weird. “ I remember” ?? it makes no sense? unless it is another hidden secret & will be revealed later. If so, then forget this point.

Kagura (more on her below). Now, let’s talk abt what I liked!

-Grief (the most difficult theme to express in literature): Excellent writing!

Grief is one of the most diverse human emotions. ppl who grief a loved one either erase everything abt them in order to cope with the pain of loss & live on, or drastically engrave everything, not want any memory to slip away, or hold the deceased on a pedestal, or hate them irrationally in order to forget abt them, some deny that the loved one is gone, others talk to them daily, some act & live normally for years & suddenly it hits them that this loved person is truly gone & they breakdown. Others, direct their disbelief of losing a precious one into the envy that other bad ppl are still living, why my precious one is dead?. Thats why, it is a difficulty emotion to understand by others. Ppl watching you will always think that comforting you is enough & that the longer you take, the more impatient they are with you. Tell me, watching tohru this ep, didn’t you feel that:

Come on. tohru, you can love your mom & kyo! who says only ONE person can be your precious?

Umm, why she cries for her mom NOW? 2 years after her death? Is she over it already?

Tohru~~ your mom aint going no where cuz you loved a guy? she’s in your heart, girl. Ugh!

Compared to yuki who was abused by his parents & kyo whose mom commit suicide in front of him, tohru’s trauma is meh~

Feeling this way abt tohru is exactly how many feel abt ppl struggling with grief. You are NOT a bad person if you felt this way. It means that thankfully you weren’t struck by grief to tohru’s extent or that your grief went about differently than tohru. Grief is a crippling feeling. It is valid, strong, overwhelming, paralyzing & above all very unique to the person themselves. Tohru feeling that her mom is slipping away from her memory is so realistic & utterly heartbreaking. Grief hurts & moving on from grief hurts more!!!! The more you go on & live your life, the more you feel like you betray your loved one.

Tohru’s entire existence is for her mother & so her mother LIVES inside her:

Finishing high school cuz it’s her mother’s request.

Getting a job to sustain herself cuz she has no one to support her financially.

Giving her mom’s wisdom & teachings abt life to others.

imitating her dad’s speaking style to prevent her mom from “leaving”.

Being the perfect girl in order to portray that her mom, who is a gangster & is hinted by the ugly relatives to be unfaithful to her husband due to tohru not taking after her dad, actually raised a respectful girl!

Talking to a dead cold lifeless picture as if it is a living human being & going into panic attacks when she looses such pictures.

Suppressing all her true “ ugly, negative” emotions & only giving the fake smiles & positive attitude.

She fears that ppl will leave her if she isn’t “comforting, happy”, hence, the whole facade of “ i’m okay, I’m okay”.

Immersing her self in ppl’s issues so she won’t face her own feelings of utter loneliness, fear of the future, & being left behind when everybody moves on with their lives.

Thinking that having selfish desires contradicts the “ hopeful, kind” girl images, hence, the fear to actually wants sth for herself. Everything HAS TO BE for the sake of the others.

Tohru is deeply traumatized & her complex, unhealthy but extremely realistic attachment to her mom must be broken. Tohru must learn to LET GO.

-Kagura’s character’s assassination. aka (violence heals y’all!)

The show wanted to express the emotion that kagura is still in love with kyo, but is learning to let go & accepting kyo/tohru love. I love that. Her speech with kazuma abt not being able to face tohru cuz her face will show her emotions is so relatable & it hit ME personally. Loved that. Then, she learns that tohru truly loves kyo & should confess to him not talk to Isuzu & I get that, it make sense that she lashes on thru & teach her the value of being open abt your feelings & dont loose him. all cool & understandable. BUT:

How dare you slap tohru like that? you don’t know what she’s going through? tohru is wearing funeral clothes for God’s sake! she just visited her dead mom, you insensitive woman! How dare you assume that all tohru is struggling with is love love, romance romance yay~ confess, kiss, be happy?

Tohru & kyo’s issues are deeper than typical, normal, shallow shojo love. It is related to child trauma & abuse. To their own individual identity & self-image! Their romantic love is meant to guide them towards better choices for the future, not magically heal everything. Their mutual love is NOT the answer to their issues.

How dare you slap someone to make them go back to their senses? this is such an anime move! ugh!~ it cheapens the emotional weight of character’s emotions.

“ I’m not apologizing to tohru. We communicate thro fists” excuse me? you arent even communicating with kyo thro fists! he sees you & run! the only time he thanked you for, was when you didn’t “ communicate thro fists” & played with him as a child! Not only make her hit tohru but not apologize??

No one told her off? are you foreal?? Isuzu pouting lips is no match for Isuzu powerful emotions when she’s embarrassed, & kazuma! where you at? Happy at the “ open confrontation”? Why do you kill kagura’s character like that?

Side Notes:

I hate how this went by in half an ep like they did with machi!! tohru is THE main character for God’s sake! But it looks like the show is not so fond of the true tohru who wants stuff & screams & talks to herself, alas she isn’t the angelic, innocent girl that is saturating the heck out of all shojo amines. Oh well~ perhaps tohru’s issues will be visited again in the finale?

Kyo gets PTSD reaction in front of tohru. great. Now what’s next? I won’t ever forgive the anime if next ep, kyo & tohru are all normal or worse the episodic theme prevents the continuation & jumps elsewhere. Nearly all the eps that didn’t end with a happy note, started the next ep somewhere & totally forgot the cliff hanger. such as, Isuzu’s ep in se02, it ended with tohru’s nightmare & next ep started yuki’s issues with tohru all smiley & bright. Another example, the Cinderella play ended with kyo/tohru torn symbolism where each is awkward with the other, next ep machi !!!!!! & kyo/ tohru all normal in kazuma’s house. But this time, it will be an epic mistake to do the same. Kyo going full traumatic in front of tohru to the point of her screaming is not sth you skip & start over erasing. Don’t disappoint me show! you can’t screw that, can you?

I love the symbolism of kyoko disappearing from the picture & the crack of her framed pic at the end with it still continued in he ED. Good job.

They are building for a hug clashing scene between kyo & tohtu. it must hurt. It is designed to hurt. I wanted it to hurt. It is not abt romance. It is abt mental & emotional trauma. I’m excited. But I’m scared. After today’s ep, I can confidently say I don’t trust the director. I’m an anime-only, but tohru’s part in the story is the least touched upon, the quickest to get over with & has the wackiest animation. They just don’t know how to depict an emotional tohru~ sigh~

Tohru is written to be a unique protagonist in the sea of innocent, selfless & always happy shojo heroine & opposed to the badass, physically strong female protag in shonen. She is the most realistic, but so much of her potential is wasted so far~~

“ saving the sohma’s. breaking the curse for others is a lie, in reality I wanted to do it for kyo” This line is supposed to be liberating for tohru cuz for once she is putting herself FIRST! It is not abt kyo. It is abt herself! it is cuz SHE wants him. See the difference? See how this line gives tohru the biggest character development!! but still sth is missing. I duno..

I have lots to say abt tohru, kyo, shigure, the grandpa, kyoko, Isuzu & even kazuma! I’ll do that in part 2.

I still liked the ep tho. It is solid. I”ll like it MORE if they continued from here & didn’t cut it cold.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #Exhausted paper #final season #Tohru Honda

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alias-levi · 4 years

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flash fic friday #5

@liz-pooh this is for you, hun 💙💙

gooood evening people (or whatever time it is when you are reading this)! after hardcore plotting one of my wips for two weeks then procrastinating doing the next step of drafting my best friend came in with a request for me to write. the final result actually happens to be a bit too long for a flash fic but i’m just going to pretend that i don’t know that. here are some basic infos:

fandom: twilight word count: abt. 1.8 k pairing: Felix/fem!oc warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, verbal fighting

summary: For weeks Volterra’s streets have been reeking of mutt. The smell seemingly following Liza whenever she leaves the castle’s property. While doing some shopping, she catches a reflection that be able to explain why.

[ID: imagine, Paul imprintes on Felix’ mate]

source: unfortunately we lost the post where this matter was discussed so if anyone know is/has it/finds it, please feel free to share it with me via private messages so i can give proper credit!

thank you and the text is below the cut :) enjoy!

It’s a dark day, the sky heavily clouded. There is a thunderstorm to come, that is for sure. Liza in the meanwhile uses the time wisely, strolling through the narrow streets, doing some shopping. Girly stuff.

For umphteenth time Liza wrinkles her nose. The almost unbearably gross, musty smell of wet dogs wavers around her. Bypassing a shapeshifter occasionally is nothing too far off the possibility scale but this right here is borderline suspicious. For a few weeks now this smell has seemed to show up every time she had left the properties of the castle.

With a sigh, and a suppressed gag, Liza takes off the sunglasses she had just tried. Turning back to the nice old man owning the small shop, Liza smiles. “Thank you very much but I don’t think these are my style.”

The man eagerly nods and tries to convince her of another pair, but Liza stops him and kindly bids her goodbyes. Just as she takes her first step to walk away, her eyes catch something in the mirror. A reflection. Someone who seemingly fits the natives yet her brain screams at her that something is off. And then the person is gone. Liza frowns. Then her eyes widen.

A few well-measured, yet fast steps later, Liza disappears into the same small backstreet the man in the reflection had stood in.

“I know you are here. I have been smelling you for weeks wondering why Volterra has turned into a hotspot for mutts.” She spits the last word out with as much disgust as she can manage. The smell has gotten worse and Liza wonders if she would throw up.

The man doesn’t hesitate now. Stepping out of the shadows and into her way he looks down on Liza, swallows hard then takes a step back. “Listen I wish I could have saved us both this situation but I have to talk to you.”

Liza snorts then spits on the floor right in front of his feet. “I’m flattered you came all this way just to get your ass kicked, Paul.” An oh-so-sweet and innocent smile plays around the vampires lips and her violet eyes sparkle with excitement. Watching the werewolf almost shrink under her gaze, breaks Liza’s smile into a grin, revealing her fangs.

“Liza, no. Please, it is important that you listen to me.”

“Then you better spill the tea, mutt,” she puts her weight on one leg, tilting her hip and cocks an eyebrow at him, “I don’t have all day.”

“I will try to make it as quick as poss-”

“For fuck’s sake, Paul, get to the fucking point!”

“Yeah, yeah! I got it, I got it, okay?” Paul raises his hands in surrender. “Listen, remember a few weeks back when Felix and you were-”

“-in Forks and kicked y’alls asses? Yes I do remember, why do you ask?”

Entirely unphased by this snappy interruption Paul continues, “Remember that moment in the woods where I suddenly turned back? You just made a comment and then ran off.”

Rolling her eyes Liza says, “course I do. What was up with you anyways? Fell in love with the most badass vampire chick you’ve ever seen?”

“I imprinted.”

She snorts, “on what, mutt? The trees? The dirt under your nails?”

“On you.”

The sincerity in his voice makes Liza’s next comment get stuck in her throat. He wouldn’t travel all this way around the world to find her and tell her this if he was joking. Only slowly the full extent, the full meaning behind his words, seeps into her brain. Oh fuck.

“Oh fuck.”

“Yes, indeed. Listen I will try my best not to-”

“How the fuck am I even expected to react in a situation like this?”

“This is unprecedented. There is no knowledge of something like this having happened ever before. Believe me if I knew how to deal with this, how to make this work for the both of us- I would! But for now I just had to let you know. You are in this-”

Liza can see the muscles under his skin straining. He is fighting the urge to run, yet his brain tells him to stay with his imprint. This is fucking ridiculous.

“No, stop talking, Paul.” Closing her eyes for a second Liza sighs. She then fishes out her cell phone out of her coat’s pocket. “Give me your number I’ll call you in a couple of days. I- I need time to think.”

Paul is surprised. In all the time he had known Liza, nothing could ever knock the smartass out of her. But he obeys and states his number. He knows that he has no say in who he imprints on even though this is by far the worst scenario he could have imagined.

“Uhm, I’m sorry, you know,” Paul watches Liza scoff and nod slowly. He looks defeated, tired and worn out.

“Yeah, whatever.”

A shy smile tilts the corners of his mouth upwards upon hearing her sass returning.

---

The conversation with Paul gave Liza much to think about. So much, that her initial confusion has now turned into full blown anger. Paul imprinting on her is an unforeseen and definitely not welcomed inconvenience. No matter how exciting being the first of anything might be- This is not it. Liza doesn’t want it. Nursing a glass of rum and coke, Liza stares out of the window. Volterra lies quiet and peacefully beneath the castle, a stark contrast to her seething mind. The door behind her opens and Felix enters their chamber. Immediately he gags. “You smell even worse than the past days. I swear I will find and kill every single one-”

“Leave it, Felix.”

Liza doesn’t bother turning around. Neither does she bother saying anything else for the next two hours. She just stays right there, at the edge of her seat, straight back, the glass in her hand close to bursting in her hard grip. Keeping her eyes trained on the streets, Liza almost feels Paul’s eyes on her.

“Okay,” Felix sits up on the bed and puts the book he was reading into his lap. “Okay, would you please finally tell me what the fuck is going on with you?”

Felix is sick and tired of having Liza filling the room with the most annoyed energy, making the air almost thick enough to cut. Her occasional, totally unnecessary overly dramatic, huffs don't exactly make it better. Apart from breathing, Liza has not moved an inch and Felix thinks that if she sits there just a little bit longer, her drink will simply evaporate.

Another very patient fifteen minutes later, Felix realizes that Liza’s hands have started to fidget and her knee has started to bounce up and down rapidly. From staring out of the window, her eyes glazed over and she also stopped pretending to blink.

“Liza,” his voice is quiet but nonetheless demanding, “What. The hell. Is. Going. On?”

She takes her time and Felix hates her for it. But if he had known what she was about to tell him, hell, he would have relished every single second of not knowing.

“Paul imprinted on me.”

The words are so quick to leave her mouth, and oh-so-quiet, that Felix almost misses them. But he doesn’t. His brain makes sure to let him know, with the burning sensation of jealousy pumping through- no, simply filling his body. His fingertips are burning and aching to scratch that boy’s eyes out. Through gritted teeth he finally manages to press out, “He did what?”

Felix’ voice is dangerously quiet.

Eventually Liza turns to face him. “I met him today. He asked me to talk and then told me that. Explains why the streets have been reeking.”

“Yeah, no, but- Why on you?!”

Liza smiles upon the barely contained anger in Felix’ voice now, the fire, the jealousy burning in his eyes.

“Well he doesn’t exactly have the power to control it!” Her voice is sharp and louder than intended.

“I know that, Liza, I ain’t exactly fucking new in this business.” After a pause of just staring at each other Felix adds, “When did that even happen, huh?”

“Remember when we were in Forks a few weeks ago? Found the pack at the beach and had some fun with them?”

Felix nods along and Liza smiles sourly at the absurdity of this situation. The exact same conversation had happened just hours before, yet, she had been the one listening and Paul the one talking. Providing delicate information.

“You yelled at me to not go too far but I followed them into the woods anyways. Well,” Liza sighs and Felix rolls his eyes at that, “one after the other veered but one of them didn’t. He was so eager, so... hell-bent on outrunning me. It was so much fun when I finally had him, pinned on the ground he looked me in the eyes and went still. At first I thought I had been too harsh, hurt him, or broke something. Then he turned back into his human form. Looking at me like he had seen a ghost.”

“He imprinted on you,” Felix deadpans. “That motherfucker really fucking imprinted on you!”

Fury seeps into his voice as his body goes entirely still. Liza knows this look, his reaction, the unmoving body. Felix is like an animal, waiting, preparing for that one leap that will get them their prey. With slow movements she puts her glass down onto the floor. She might be naive. Trying to hold back who is said to be the strongest vampire to ever exist, is not in her power. After almost half a century together, Liza knows that she will not be able to stop Felix if he doesn’t let her. His abilities simply exceed her power.

So, Liza does the only slightly realistic thing that comes to her mind. Keeping up her slow movements she stands up, walking over to the bed ever so quietly. Neither of them is breathing. With a gentle smile on her lips, Liza cautiously cups Felix’ cheek, feeling him release a breath he has never held onto her palm. Their eyes stay locked this whole time.

Bringing their faces close together, she stops only an inch before him. “Let’s not deal with this today, okay? I don’t want to think about it anymore for now.” Her voice is gentle, calm and barely more than a whisper.

Felix surprises her in leaning up, closing the small gap between them and pressing a chaste kiss onto her lips. “You reek of mutt, querida.”

Liza bursts out a short dry laugh. The atmosphere is clearly more relaxed now. “Right,” she stands up again, “I’ll take another shower then... Care to join?” With a wink she leaves Felix on the bed and walks towards the bathroom.

#twilight #imagine #twilight imagine #felix x oc #paul lahote #imprinting #request #prompt #oc: liza #ps i love you #Flash Fic Friday

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we-always-hit-our-ass · 4 years

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Okay, but I need some Joe Toye headcanons like I need air. Help a girl out

Taglist: @floydtab, @deldontplay, @thatsonefishyboi, @noneofurbusinez, @meteora-fc, @hufflepuffpancakes

I just want to say that i love toye more than i love myself. This boy deserves everything and i mean it!

Btw thanks @adamantiumdragonfly for requesting these lovely hcs, i had a lot of fun writing this! 💕💕

General/Fluffy HCs for Joe Toye

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so you see right here, this man is a professional lover and sweetheart extraordinaire

you two actually met when running currahee

joe stumbled along the way and you gripped his arm to prevent him from falling

thought it was one of the boys like like luz or guarnere or just practically anybody

boy WAS HE WRONG

he was instantly like !!!!! but it soon turned into 💕💕💕

immediately thinks he died during training and went into heaven

looks like he is having the time of his life, he is by the way

you ask him if he’s ok as youre running along side him

joe nods his head slowly like the cute dope that he is

either of you could have fallen behind or could have run faster but nope!

you two keep the same pace as each other so y’all arent seperated and lose sight of each other

after that, you and joe are close as fuc-

when i mean close i MEANT CLOSE

theres endless laughter and happiness

snarky and sassy remarks from both parties

and you two doing whatever-

literally toye is one of the people that you can never get mad at-

its impossible for him to make you mad i swear, he’s just too sweet and caring and this man can never do any wrong-

sooooo u and joe might or might not have huge crushes on each other

i'm just saying, but u two totally do-

if you were to walk into a room that joe was in, his eyes immediately go to you, because why not?

like seriously, joe would literally try to freeze the sun for you

but whenever you thank him he’s all like “that’s what best friends are for”-

the easy boys are so done believe me so they just watch in the background while commenting how stupidly cute u both are-

joe enjoys being sweet to you but he’ll never say it

you point it out sometimes while smiling and joe just erupts into flames

joe would never admit it, and this is a very well kept secret of his, only person who knows abt it is HIM and him alone

so basically during eindhoven, joe purposely yeeted his face away when a girl tried to kiss him and no one knew why-

after the day you met him, he made sure that lips were only reserved for u

everyone thought it was weird how he would launch himself away from the girls but you found it cute

you teased him a lot after that day and joe would act like he’s offended but in reality he's so goddamn head over heels for you-

joe legit doesn't know what to do around you, you're just so amazing

you and toye could either be the kids or the parents in the group, its an amazing vibe-

okok but the way he confessed to you was soo MMMM-

joe woke you up in the middle of the night to see the stars

after a few words of persuasion, you went outside with him and with your hand in his as he led the way

y’all sit down and when you gaze up at the sky, holy SHIT it was very beautiful-

toye loved your reaction and the smile you gave him after was worth way more than any fucking treasure-

joe was surprised when he didn’t stutter when he told u how much he loved you-

like if you were sleepy- not anymore!

you immediately woke up and just stared at him for a good couple of minutes

but damn you told him how much loved him too- but like seriously picture this

midnight, stars, love confessions, and tender and passionate kisses with joe fucking toye-

it wasnt what you were expecting but excuse it was so fucking good-

btw this boy’s spunky attitude will bring you to tears-

like hes overly sarcastic and you would just burst up laughing because its so fucking funny-

one of the things you also love about joe is that he’s a sassy boy who’s actually very sweet once you get to know him

this is one the many things that made you fall from him-

when joey gets tipsy he will lean on you for support and will deny that he’s drunk

toye will also drunkenly say how much he loves you and that youre the best person ever-

toye will end up falling asleep after you run your hands through his dark hair while he’s cuddled up against you-

you fall asleep not so long afterwards

YO- joey boy cherishes everything you give him and he just really appreciate the little things that you do

like if you hold a door open for him or even just pick out stuff that got stuck in his hair i'm pretty sure he’ll think about for days on end

hes also genuinely enjoys it when you talk to him about things you are very passionate about

like toye will literally just come up with the stupidest conversations just so he can hear talk and you can say the same for him

his voice is so fucking perfect and its always immediately recognizable 😩👌

toye will iNDEED bring you small gifts that he thinks you might like-

joey is very VERY protective of you

like if he sees a person making you feel discomfort in anyway he will yeet the poor bastard

he doesn't go completely overboard, most of the time, he just really wants you to be safe

you two still having your weekend passes are VERY rare since sobel likes being a lil bitch

wo when you two actually have it, joe makes sure to make it count

he takes you to the bar sometimes while other times he takes you into town to ditch the noise and his hella drunk friends

um so he takes you around the stores and shops and you two will impulsively buy the randomest shit

the easy boys immediately stop trusting u both with money

yeah the items you two buy are cute but they have no literal use

during one of these trips joe buys you a really gorgeous necklace and you just ascended-

im not kidding

you never took off the necklace off your neck after that day

toye also gives you small gifts and lemme tell this boy even gives you a small camera

both you and toye take pictures of each other with it and the both of you always make sure to keep photos of one another

joe is also one of those boyfriends who has a surprise for you each and every single day-

either he’d take you swimming, riding bikes, eating at a diner, or watching a simple movie together

no matter how simple the activity, joe will find a way to make it the best experience you will ever have-

when watching a movie, joe would put snarky remarks in between the scenes and the experience is just alleviated-

when you two wake up next to each other in the morning, its the most peaceful little thing that has ever existed

sometimes you would wake up earlier and joe would still be asleep with his arms around you

toye will unknowingly pull you closer to him and wont let you go for a very long time-

did i mention toye’s devilishly cute morning voice???

his little good morning cuddles are pure and utter fluff and you will never get tired of it!

toye will surprise you with random hugs from behind every single day-

it soon became one of the things that you couldn’t live without

like he so tender, yet firm? and the hug is so fucking comforting what???

toye will hug you anytime and anywhere

his hugs bring you the most source of joy and they just make you so happy

if youre tired when he hugs you, you are immediately energized from the complete act alone

if youre sad, joe’s hugs will comfort you and you’ll just smile into his chest and his arms are wrapped around your waist

when youre angry, you just cool down in his touch-

his hugs give you life and just repel off any negative emotions

if you were to be honest, toye and his hugs are probably your most favorite things in the whole entire world-

toye is just an overall very caring and hella GOOD boyfriend

it has come to the point where both of you cannot exist without the other-

you love him with all of your heart and he loves you with all of his 😩💕

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im sorry for any mistakes that i made and i hope that everything is alright. btw im sorry for me taking so long to write this, i tried my best to finish it!

but i love toye and he’s complete and utter perfection, thank you very much-

thank you for reading this and supporting me you guys are everything! 😩😊💕💕💕

#band of brothers #band of brothers headcanon #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers imagine #band of brothers fanfiction #band of brothers fic #band of brothers fanfic #joe toye #joe toye x reader #joe toye headcanon #joe toye fic #joe toye fanfic #joe toye fanfiction #hbo war #hbo war headcanon #hbo war fanfic #hbo war fanfiction

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pokemontrashfics · 5 years

Note

(Hey I’m the anon who’s question got cut off oof I’m so sorry ;-;) I was wondering if you could write a hc or drabble abt Leon and a fem!S/O who self h*rms? Like how would he react to it? Is he supportive of them? I’m super sorry it got cut off idk what happened. (Also if you don’t want to do this I 100% understand I’m sorry for bothering you)

Gonna add the content warnings early cause I know this is a sensitive one. I know it might be something people wonder about but one of the reasons I’m willing to write content like this is because I’ve been through a lot of stuff like this and I know how cathartic it can be to read and write about these things. Like I said in my rules, writing helps me unload, it’s cathartic. I hope it does the same thing for the people reading it.

I urge people struggling with self harm to seek help of some kind, here are some resources:

Text ‘connect’ to 741741 for an anonymous self harm helpline

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists to find a therapist

https://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines a list of international suicide helplines - even if suicide isn’t what you’re contacting them about, they’re still trained to help people in a crisis, and can help point you in the right direction

https://calmharm.co.uk/ the app I use to curb self harm urges. It gives a lot of options for alternative constructive coping mechanisms rather than destructive ones

Content warning: This post contains discussion of self injury (cutting), blood, and dissociation. It could be very distressing to those who have experienced any of these, please use caution and discretion before reading this piece

I never thought he would find out, especially not like this. This was something I was especially careful to hide, I’d never been so secretive about something and it was slowly destroying me.

It’s not like I was losing a lot of blood… but I was cutting more and deeper every time. And Leon was definitely noticing that I was colder than usual, that I got dizzy every time I stood up, that I was lethargic, I was slow to wake up, and having a hard time falling asleep.

I could tell he was worried but I also knew he hadn’t figured it out. People start to act different when they figure it out.

I was doing it every day now, I ran the shower on cold so I wouldn’t waste energy while I sat on the other side of the bathroom and cut open my skin. It felt like I was outside my body, like I was floating above it when it happened. Like my soul was escaping for a little while. I would stare at the silver blade, at the red blood on the white tiles and I could hear my heart in my ears, muffling out all other sounds. I made sure to wash the blades every time, I made sure I took care of the cuts too. The last thing I wanted was Leon finding out because I was stuck in the hospital with an infection.

But I’ll never forget the day he did find out. I must have forgotten to lock the door and turn the shower on that day. The details are fuzzy… but I remember Leon opening the door to see me, naked on my knees. I was holding the blade from a pencil sharpener, and there were cuts on my thighs and wrists, the blood had dripped on my favorite shirt… I hadn’t noticed before.

It was about twenty seconds before Leon moved, I don’t think he fully comprehended the situation at first, but suddenly he was picking me up and carrying me to the kitchen table. He set me down on one of the chairs and stared at my cuts, the blood was starting to get dry and crusty but the smell was pungent. I had never seen this before, my Inteleon broke out of his pokeball. I was still dissociating hard as Leon and my Inteleon worked on cleaning out the cuts on my legs and arms. I could tell Leon was talking and my Inteleon was making noise, but I have no idea what Leon was saying. All the sound in the world was muffled, like I was wearing headphones. All I could hear was my heart thumping in my chest. I just sat there, naked, bleeding and now wet from my Inteleon squirting water on the cuts. I felt rubbing alcohol in the cuts and the sting brought me back to myself. I blinked slowly and looked at Leon, he was a mess. I hadn’t comprehended it before now, with the haze my brain was in but he was crying.

“Leon?” I touched his cheek, blood and water dripped down my wrist and onto his shirt.

He squeezed my hand, “Just relax for a minute okay?” he said “I’ll get you cleaned up, we’ll get you help, I promise I’ll get you help.”

I’d never seen Leon such a mess, I hugged him tightly.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered “I didn’t know what to do or when I should tell you…”

He shook his head swallowing his tears “Let’s just get you to bed, I’m going to lock every sharp thing we have in the drawer. Tomorrow, I’ll take you to the doctor.”

I nodded against him, finally surrendering, finally letting myself get the help I needed.

#swsh #pokemon swsh #pokemon #pokemon sword and shield #sword and shield #imagines #pokemon imagines #pokemon leon #leon #champion leon #tw #tw self harm #tw self injury #self harm #self injury

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renaer-is-allegedly-hot · 4 years

Text

session 15 notes

Ok true crime as in my new addiction is true crime podcasts specifically about serial killers

Back to the session

After getting a bit of a reality check from durnan about the supposed strength and power of the xanathar guild…

Protected our home w glyphs of warding

Last day of our contract

Spell is set to fade soon

Asyna is feeding ot

Ot looks at asyna like he's a cornered animal

"ot here's some meat"

Why is krystal roasting me about my lover

He wants poison

Ot is calling his jailers idiotic

Oh no aerana might be spilling beans

I really shouldn't be allowed to play games

Because I will always turn to the chaotic evil character

Aerana isn't giving anything up

Theo tells us about the plumbers who came over last night

Aerana is going to typ, rest of party is staking out house

Shifts to watch ot, adam takes front, asyna tower lookout (it's foggy tho so perception check at disadvantage, 9; city looks a little eerie in the fog)

Cel puts immovable rod across cellar door

Ot is suspicious whenever cel comes in

"you cannot fool me xanathar"

Cel making theo a new cloak

Ot asks cel when he'll turn him into dust

The xanathar can turn ppl into dust

Flare ?

Is flare the brain boy ?

I don't like the energy we've created around the word "enlightenment"

Cel rolls 18 insight check

Ot doesn't think cel is cel

Cel is gonna just vibe witth him

"WHEN U SLAY ME I WILL THINK NOTHING BUT HATEFUL THOUGHTS"

Sorry didn't mean caps but too lazy to fix

Everyone else

Adam in front hissing at neighbors and cats, 7

Hears pavement scuffle, someone approaches and reddish gtray beard person w non-descript gray cloak approaches; trench

Doesn't remember cellar and plumbers guild coming by night before

Trench says he can help

Help get bar open

Used to drink there a lot

Gets parchment and quill with ink

Rolls insight to see if bar was only thing he wasd interested in, 13, trench seems v interested

Works in surveillance, protection

Gives him cel and theo's name "5 copper please"

Gets 5

Adam picks his nose

Theo patrols entrances

13 for perception

Overlaps path w adam's

Aerana to typ

Afternoon when there

Similar pattern to those there; frequent patrons

"if I'm making up words, it's not really hitler"

8 perception

Place feels open, not as packed as it usually is

Still feel sensation of cold from the well

Wizard w pointy red hat a regular

You see goliath wizard talking to a dwarven woman

Aerana sees an elven man (bard) w "ugliest guy you've seen in your goddamn life" dom says but only after we point out he looks like legolas, tuning a lute

Sense you've seen him before

The wellllllllllllllllll

It is better told by a bard

Some patrons old and strange, others just like to drink

But ritual in the storytelling

Durnan built

Gwyliam

Talking in elvish

Place formerly not too populated

But one of durnan's ancestors came over to build upon it and discovered the well

Network of tunnels underneath

20 for history check

Familiar with some of what he's saying

Parents would throw you into the undermountain if you were bad

Undermountain = stirs weird memory in your head

Being told as a child stories of undermountain

Deep dark fearsome place

Mt waterdeep wizard came here once named hallister the black cloak

Hallister - ppl don't know where he was from / if he was real but legendary

Brought apprentices trained in magical arts

Tunneled on peak of mt waterdeep

Legend of undermountain could not be verified as truth

Durnan's ancestor came to typ

Climbed into well

"I wouldn't bring this up around him" - doesn't talk abt

When ancestor returned was fabulously rich

Split money with best friend

Built typ

Occasionally engages in ritual of going

No one truly knows what lies in undermountain but there's something there bc some return but most do not

"it might just be the sewer" - "but don't tell anyone I said that"

Differing renditions

Some say durnan was the one with magical powers and killed everyone in there, or more nuanced speaking only of tragedy of those who return who come back fearful or returning with smaller parties; others talk more of hallister and argue over his life; every night a different story

Ask if he knows anyone who's come back

Gestures to half-orc in corner playing variation of solitaire; great celebration when he returned, he came back with riches

He is a regular

21 history check

Undermountain

Familiar name

"Deepest dungeon of them all"

When sewers were built many passages abandoned bc other halls + passages found, many teams from cellars and plumbers guild died during construction of the sewers

Prisoners often thrown into "undermountain"

Says even tho he's here most days there's still stuff he doesn't understand about it; new community reforged every night

At some point durnan talking to wizard and having a conversation which is odd ? Eventually wizard looks at aerana (old man) skinny pointy red hat

Wizard squinting at aerana then turns back to conversation

Try talking to half-orc

Interesting plated beard almost like that on dwarves wrt ornamentation; jewelry running through it

Wiry half-orc

Not skinny but muscled

Weird tattoos covering one side of his face looking like they change a little bit

Balanced a little precariously

Ask if he wants to play a two-person card game bc he's playing solitaire

Ask for his favorite game, Skipper (slapjack)

Dexterity check

5, 20, 10

First round you lose, his fingers have strange looking rings beautiful but rough-worn bands of steel or other heavy metal

Second you win

Third round he takes

"say not many people can beat me in that game"

"luck favors the bold"

In the well

Hell but now look at him can gamble all he wants

City of balder's gate

Large city rough place to grow up

Turned into rough child living on streets

Says his name is Sand

Balder's gate warlords make life difficult so he decided to leave

Was found in youth by someone who turned his anger into smth holy

Ran into thieves and plunderers of forgotten relics, became brother and sister and decided to take on deepest dungeon of them all

Horrible things - asks if you've heard the song

The yawning portal song

Not many people know the full tale

Was taught to be skeptical (it's in his nature or maybe his name)

Not sure how long he was in there or didn't know when he was in there

No light

Tunnels are confusing and without it would've been lost; found room with throne with snakes for arms

Great hallway with ancient trap

Living things also in there; all manner of beasts and creatures; ppl don't come back bc of those

Killed goblins down there but after the things he's seen and after the things he'd had to do could've gone with killing a few more goblins

Advice ? Some will sell maps of what they found or what they think they've seen; anyone can tell u abt beasts down there

Durnan wouldn't lower us down

Durnan doesn’t send ppl to their deaths

Durnan lowers people he deems worthy

Strong brave smart fast bold enough or some combo

But even then not everyone comes back

It's a place of death

Not buying him lunch lmao

Has broken into dangerous old elf dungeons like in the ones up north and would do it again if he could unsee some of the things he saw down in the well

A place of death but things move in the shadows w tombs down there and tunnels for miles hallways great and tall, treasures, beasts keeping it for themselves

Ask about tattoos

Gift from master

The person who saved him in balder's gate

Steeped in magic of shadows

Powerful bc he is strong but qi is stronger still

Aerana gets back home but starts to rain heavily

Ppl still patrolling

Adam

Sees drow ? W purple colored eyes silver-ish hair hiding weapons under his cloak steps up and says "pardon me" and asks if adam's seen a cat

Large cat - would've know if saw it

Adam sends drow to trench

Adam gives him good up and down look, can he see weapons ? Carrying two cinotaurs ??? Sinotaur ???? Adam rolls insight for cat

14, seems like he's talking abt a cat

Heads off to trench

Asyna in watchtower guessing ppl's names

Cel and theo switch

Theo says hi to ot, ot curled up in corner

Whispers "hey ot what's up"

Says he should've gone with his gut on the day theo arrived

"dark elegance" "the way you glided into the room" - ot on theo

Ot says he knows how the xanathar pays theo

"I guess seeing you was a realization of my deepest fear" a fear he couldn't name or place or knew he had but out of the darkness theo stepped forward

"I'm curious . How long do you leave your victims like this"

Ot starts to cry and says he would beg her to keep him in this place

"this voice you're using I find it sweet"

"I just don't want to wake up before the end"

Theo is gonna get him food

"the poor dead tiefling told me yesterday"

7 insight

Theo does not know what's happening

Says the water theo gives him looks real

Looks at the wall drinks some water

"and it tastes real"

We kinda fucked ot up LMAO OOPS

"I know that you don’t have a heart… but if there's any chance that anything I've ever said or thought about you could take root in your soul"

Theo says she'll consider his request

Sits there for a half hour then asks if that's her real name

"nithlur" or smth like that

Nihloor

"where'd you hear that"

In his head lmao

What if this is like

A tapeworm

In his head

"what does knowledge taste like"

Asks if it's a feeling or a thought

Theo says it's a feeling

Ot says whatever knowledge is it's valuable to the right thing

Wonders if he can take a nap

Gonna take a nap

Adam forgot he made ott think he was dead

Aerana is taking over for theo

Adam takes first watch

Perception check, 22

Raining ohp so at disadvantage gotta do it again

New roll, 12

Rain is still falling

Hears a weird noise coming from outside the house

Uses thaumaturgy to boom voice saying "wake up"

Everyone sleeping wakes up

Goes toward sound

Hears weird growling noise

Goes semi-toward noise w pyrotechnics prepared; darkvision does he see anything

Sees shape

It's not the cat

Unfamiliar, looks like it's flying but more like it's floating

Bobbing up and down in air

Creature w large glassy eye and sagging mouth w lots of sharp teeth

Sticking out from form are eyes attached to a slug protruding off it w glassy eyes hanging off it

Intense stench making icky moaning noise

Adam shits his pants

It's big

The size of its mouth is human size

I've been listening to serial killer podcasts all day

#dnd #d&d #sn #15 #oh god

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linphd · 5 years

Text

kirishima x fem!reader | scar

eijiro kirishima x reader

female reader

Kirishima comforts his girlfriend when she ends up with a scar on her lips due to a fight.

warning : a little graphic, since I explain how you got the scar.

some comfort by baby shark bc he's best boi

I mean the fandom can fight abt things, but the whole thing agrees that kiri is precious.

All the students had their provisional license now, as Shoto and Katsuki had passed an other test. Kirishima was proud of himself, but he was also proud of his girlfriend. She had managed to pass with a score of 95/100, being the best candidate -her dad was a hero specialized in rescue, and was giving some rescue class sometimes, after all.

Her quirk was supposed to be used only to rescue, like her dad. But all those years, she had managed to train more and more, in order to use it in fights. Actually, she had managed to train her quirk to make it evolve so much that she had been recommended for Yuei. She was in the top of the class, along with Shoto and Katsuki, and her grades were good enough to manage to be in the top 6.

Kirishima loved to call her 'Miss Perfect'. Her body was also totally perfect ; without any scar, burn or anything that could show that she's getting into fights. And that was one of her fear though. She said scars looked cool on other people, but she didn't want any, and even less on places that everyone could see. So, (Y/N) was glad that she was attacking from distance ; it could prevent front attacks.

Well, that's what she thought. When they were hanging out outside, Ochaco, Tsuyu and (Y/N) got attacked by a group of villains. However, they all end up with some consequences ; one of the enemy had a quirk that involved knives and swords. Ochaco had some cuts on her arms, Tsuyu had a huge cut in her tongue -she had to sew it up and let it heal, and (Y/N) had a huge cut from the left of her upper lip to the middle of her cheek, even though it wasn't too deep in the cheek and had cut her whole lip in half.

They all went to the school infirmary, since Recovery Girl was there, and (Y/N) -who had fought the most since she had the most powerful quirk out of the 3- passed out. Ochaco, who came out of the infirmary after having some band-aids, directly told Kirishima. He ran to the infirmary to see his girlfriend, who had a big bandage on her cheek. There was still some blood that could be seen through it, at her upper lip.

He stayed with her for a moment, but seeing that she wasn't waking up and that -according to Recovery Girl- she was okay, he left her a little letter to say that he had visited her and that he will be at the dorms when she'll wake up. She was supposed to wake up in a few hours anyway.

And that's what happened. The students were having fun in the common room, when (Y/N) opened the door. She briefly looked at everyone before directly going to the girls' bathroom. Kirishima watched her as she walked away. ‘’Shouldn’t you go ?’’ Mina asked. He shook his head. ‘’I’ll wait a bit, maybe she went to take a shower.’’ Nobody else wanted to go to see her, recalling the look she had on her face when she went back home.

After 30 minutes, Kirishima made his way to the girls’ bathroom. Mineta complained, but everyone yelled at him, telling him that Kirishima could, having a boyfriend with a sad girlfriend pass. The boy knocked on the door, still, even if it was a bit open. ‘’(Y/N) ? Can I come in ?’’ He didn’t have any answer, but as he heard a sob, he entered.

‘’Baby ? What’s wrong ?’’ She was applying lipstick. There were a total of 14 lipsticks in the sink, with cleansing wipes full of different colors -mainly red shades. Kirishima arched an eyebrow, confused, and since he was facing his girlfriend’s back, he looked at her through the mirror.

Her lips, and around, were reddened ; he understood it was because of the many layers of makeup she had tried on. She also had a big scar on her upper lip, but it wasn’t going far on her cheek, and wasn’t extending to her lower lip. Her eyes were red as well. ‘’I can still see it, Eijiro ! See ?! I can’t hide it ! I’ll have to see it every day of my life until I die !’’

(Y/N) was crying at this point. Kirishima took the lipstick she had in her hand to throw it in the sink and hugged her. ‘’Baby, the scar is brand new, it’s still big and red and stuff... it’ll fade, don’t worry ! Look at my scar. It was like yours before, and now it’s barely noticeable.’’ She wanted to tell him how dumb the remark was, because she’ll still have a scar. But the sad smile he gave her, and the fact that he was rubbing her back, made her brush it off.

‘’Don’t you keep telling me how cool I look with my scar ? -It’s not the same, Eijiro. It looks cool on you and it fits with your manly attitude. With me, it will just look like I have something weird on my face and like I exceeded with my makeup...’’.

The boy sighed before kissing her forehead. ‘’(Y/N). It doesn’t make you ugly, if that’s what you think.’’ Of course it was what she was thinking. ‘’You’re still as pretty as usual, you’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. The scar just shows that you’re a survivor. You’re a hero, that maybe people can hurt, but can’t kill, you overcame this ! That shows now that you’re strong.’’

Now she was crying because of how cute it was. Kirishima giggled when he noticed that, and wiped her tears away. ‘’Awn my babyyyy ! Don’t cry, you’re beautiful ! But isn’t it dangerous to put makeup and stuff on the scar ? I mean, it’s brand new, couldn’t it get infected or something ? -If I can take off the band-aid, I can put makeup on it...’’

Seeing (Y/N) pouting, her boyfriend laughed. ‘’I’m going to help you with that.’’ He said, taking a cleansing wipe to slowly wash off the lipstick and all the residues of the previous layers. He was slow to avoid hurting her, smiling at her whenever they locked eyes. ‘’And don’t worry, it’ll fade like mine, babe. Now we’re the scarred couple !’’ She giggled, hugging him. But they still needed to clean up the mess she had made...

that comforted me and I don’t even have a scar????

that was inspired by a spot I had on my upper lip that left a tiny tiny mark on it

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #eijiro kirishima #kirishima x reader #comfort

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rainywritingsx · 5 years

Note

i saw you on a diff blog so i thought i would ask for a scenario of (kaminari, bakugou, kirishima) talking abt how fem!reader can be annoying sometimes & they overhear and their feelings are hurt so when they confront the boys teary-eyed, the boys make it up to them by letting them paint their nails and doing face masks! :D

Thank you so much for this request anon, I absolutely love the idea lmao. The 1-A girls should just do a whole skincare routine for the boys, imagine that lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this! I did my best trying to write everything as good as I could, and if it’s a bit out of character I’m sorry. Feel free to give me feedback! xxx

Kaminari Denki

He was just being an airhead like he’d often be and he did not even for a second realise that his girlfriend was actually in the room next door and that the door was wide open, so she was able to hear every part of the conversation he was having.

“She’s sweet and all, but she’s so annoying sometimes.” He complained to his friend, Ashido. She just nodded slowly, not really knowing what to say. Kaminari leaned backwards to lie down in his bed and looked up at the ceiling.

“Like I know we’re a couple but she always wants to do hang out with me after school and she always texts me.” He groaned which made his companion frown slightly. Sure, couples have their ups and downs and all but she didn’t think he should tell her this.

“Denki, I don’t think you should just say stuff like that..” she said to him.

Both of them had no idea that y/n could overhear every word of their conversation. So there she was, in her room, with tearful eyes as she tried to process the things her boyfriend had said about her, trying to understand his complaints.

Was she really that annoying? Why didn’t he tell her if she really was? Did he not trust her enough? Did he think she wouldn’t take it into consideration?

She stopped thinking when she heard her boyfriend say goodbye to Ashido. Maybe she should confront him about this... that would be the best thing to do, right? They could just talk it out. She slowly got up and took a deep, slow breath before walking to the room next door. The door was open so she didn’t even bother knocking.

“D-denki?” The blond haired boy smiled when he heard her voice, but soon his face changed into a frown upon seeing her teary eyes and pouting lips. He got up and walked over to you.

“Hey, what happened?” He asked, gently resting his hands on her waist. She told him about what she had heard and his eyes widened. Before she knew it, a billion apologies and hugs were thrown at her and she chuckled softly.

“You know I can be really stupid sometimes... will you forgive me? I’ll do anything!” He said. At first she just poured, but then her face changed into a small smirk.

“Anything?” She asked him sweetly, hiding her hands behind her back. He just nodded, making her giggle.

“I didn’t think you meant this.” He whined as he looked at his girlfriend’s concentrated face.

“Stop moving! You don’t want your nails to look ugly, do you?” She just said as she held his hand a little tighter.

“Just don’t tell my friends about this.” He mumbled, making y/n laugh softly.

“Its not that bad. Taking care of yourself is normal, soon your skin will shine even brighter like a cool hero!” She said as she finished painting his pinky finger.

“And?” She said as she showed him his fingers. Y/n had decided to paint them yellow and make small black lightning bolts to decorate them. The face mask he was wearing was a pickachu sheet mask (probably doesn’t exist but let’s pretend it does).

“You look lovely!” She said happily as she clasped her hands together and nodded in satisfaction. Kaminari just sighed softly.

“The sheet mask isn’t that bad actually.” He muttered, making her smile softly.

“So, am I forgiven now?” He asked his girlfriend. She pretended to think deeply for a while before looking back at him and nodding, a smile plastered on her face.

“Totally. But don’t you ever dare say stuff like that before talking to me. I want you to be honest with me.” He nodded softly.

“It was stupid and I didn’t even mean it. You know im an airhead.” She softly hit the back of his head.

“That doesn’t mean you can just say stuff like that.” She chuckled.

“I know I know, I’m sorry babe, it won’t happen again!” He smiled brightly, making y/n’s heart melt. Who could ever be angry at this sweet guy?

Bakugou Katsuki

Surprisingly to some people, Bakugo was often really nice to y/n, even in public. Yes, he still had his bad days sometimes but he had a super soft spot for her. Now this didn’t mean his personality took a whole turn but his gestures always clearly showed he cared about his girlfriend a lot.

But sadly, today was one of those bad days. He was talking to Kirishima and basically all he did was rant and complain about anything that was on his mind.

At one point, the subject he was ranting nonsense about was his girlfriend, and Kirishima just let him be since he knew he didn’t mean any of his words and she wouldn’t hear it, since she was hanging out with some of her friends.

Or that’s what they thought.

It turned out that some girls weren’t feeling well- uraraka had trained way too much yesterday and seemed like she could throw up any second, Yaoyorozu had tried making a meal which wasn’t exactly the best, so the girls decided to go to their own homes and meet up when everyone’s health was better.

So the two guys didn’t know that Mistuki let in y/n. At first she didn’t really know what they were talking about, but she could sense that her boyfriend was in a bad mood. She took off her shoes and hung her coat on the hanger and slowly walked up the stairs to his room. She froze however, when she heard her name slip past his name a few times, along with some big complaints.

Now she was aware that her boyfriend was a hothead, but that didn’t give him an excuse to be like that to her. Sure, he had days where he was just angry but he’d never ever insult his girlfriend. She slowly started tearing up but tried to stay strong by clenching her hands into fists.

At first she thought of just leaving him alone for now until Kirishima left, but she didn’t want to do that. A soft sigh escaped her lips before she knocked on their door. She didn’t even bother saying who it was and opened the door.

“Mom I told you-“ Bakugo stopped when he saw you standing in the doorway, eyes glossy with tears. He gasped softly and immediately put two and two together. Kirishima smiled at you awkwardly and slowly got up.

“I should go... uhm.. yeah... talk to you tomorrow Bakugo.” Before he left he quickly muttered something about his friend’s actions not being manly.

“Y/n..” was all he said. His girlfriend sighed softly and sat down in his bed, next to him. Panic took over him as he saw the first tear roll down your cheek.

“Okay okay don’t cry.” He said and sighed softly. “I didn’t mean it... i was just pissed today because of that half and half bastard...” he stopped when he didn’t hear you say a word. I’ll tell you what, we can do whatever you want to do alright?”

“Can it be anything?” She asked hopefully, and although Bakugo could sense that y/n was planning something he wouldn’t like at all, he nodded.

“I didn’t think you meant this.” Bakugo grumbled as you continued to apply pink nail polish on his thumbnail. You giggled and looked at him.

“You look lovely and the mask is good for your skin! Maybe I should also do your hair like Best Jeanist did..”

“WHAT?!” He exclaimed making y/n laugh loudly. After a small silence Bakugo spoke up.

“Are we good now?” She chuckled and nodded

“Yes but if you do shit like that again I swear to god I’ll kick your ass to Jupiter.” Bakugo smirked and nodded.

“I’d like to see you try.” He replied cockily, making her roll her eyes.

“I’m serious, Katsuki. Don’t do it again.” The girl said as she looked him dead in the eye. “Just talk to me next time instead of complaining to Kirishima.” He nodded and suddenly pulled her closer before kissing her deeply. Y/n knew Bakugo wasn’t the best with words and this was his way of apologising. Yes he had become a lot softer for her but there were still some things he should work at.

“You’re forgiven.” Y/n spoke softly when the blond haired guy pulled away. He smiled and then looked at her face in confusion before laughing loudly. The girl frowned at his reaction.

“What?” She put her hands on her face and then stopped when she realised part of the liquid of the face mask was on her face. She sighed softly and then grabbed the jar which contained the liquid and smirked at her boyfriend.

“Ah, I think you need some more. Or if it doesn’t work we should do it again...”

“WHAT?!”

Kirishima Eijiro

He had a long day at UA. He lost in a training battle, got a low score on his English test and he just wasn’t feeling great. His girlfriend, y/n, had noticed his mood but didn’t think too much of it, since Kirishima often had his bad days but got over it and kept his temper.

Today was different. He was talking to his friends during lunch and kept ranting about everything that happened that day. Little did they know his girlfriend was just walking by when he started talking about her.

As his friends all silently ate their food-bakugo hadn’t arrived yet, hence the silence, as the irritated redhead complained about anything, not even bothering to think about his words.

“-and don’t even get me started on y/n! That woman literally drives me insane! She’s so annoying, I want to feel like a man for once but that won’t happen if she continues babying me!” A soft frown appeared on y/n’s face as these words hit her like stone bricks. Was this really how he felt about her? Why didn’t Kirishima just tell her if it bothered him this much?

“Sometimes I don’t even know why I asked her out, ah... every second of the day she asks me how I am, if I’ve eaten, how this went how that went- it’s tiring!”

“I think it’s more tiring for her.” Ashido mumbled as she dragged her fork through her food, annoyed by her friend’s attitude.

As the conversation went on, y/n stood in silence, reflecting on everything she did and how she acted around her boyfriend. Was it that bad?

But why didn’t he tell her? If he was all about being manly, he should’ve manned up and told her right?

She needed answers because this wasn’t like him at all. This wasn’t the kirishima she knew. So she took a deep breath and put her plate down on the table where he was sitting. The force caused a loud sound which made Kirishima whip his head around. He was about to go off when he saw his lover’s tearful eyes piercing into his own.

“Y-y/n...” she didn’t utter a word as she suddenly grabbed his wrist and pulled him with her to a more private place. She did not want to cause a scene in the middle of the school.

“What was that for?” She said in a shaky voice. Kirishima sighed softly, looking down in shame. He knew exactly what she meant by ‘that’ and he felt bad. Seeing her made him realise how dumb his words are. He was just being an idiot and didn’t think about his words.

“I’m sorry.. it’s just- I had a horrible day and I took it out on everything and everyone, b-but I know that it isn’t an excuse for it.” She huffed and crossed her arms against her chest, eyebrows furrowed in anger as her lips were formed in a small pout. Usually he’d find her adorable but knowing that she was angry, Kirishima decided to keep his mouth shut.

“Okay, will this make up for it? We can do whatever you want for the whole day and I won’t complain, I promise. I don’t care what it is, even if it’s not manly I’ll do it.”

“Okay, lets go to my house after school.”

“Does that mean I’m forgiven?”

“Just do as I say.” She said before turning around and leaving. Kirishima chuckled as he shook his head.

Okay, when Kirishima told y/n they could do anything, he didn’t think they’d do this.

“You okay babe?” Y/n asked her boyfriend teasingly as she continued to decorate her boyfriend’s white nails with pink flowers. He was about to talk when she stopped him.

“Don’t talk. You aren’t supposed to talk with this face mask on, or it won’t work!” She said as she held up a finger against his lips. He sighed and poured childishly, making y/n giggle softly.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about this unmanly thing.” She chuckled and tried to hold in her laugh when she saw his facial expression relax immediately.

“But you know, if I made these flowers red you’d look good with them. And a real man has great skin.” She teased, meaning it as a joke but Kirishima actually agreed, which he showed by nodding. He then looked at her with puppy dog eyes as if to ask if he was forgiven. She smiled and pecked his lips quickly.

“Of course you are. But if you ever talk like that about me again I will not hesitate to tell everyone about this.” Kirishima nodded quickly at this before y/n continued decorating her boyfriend’s nails. He’d never admit it, but he actually quite liked this. The face mask was nice and the nails wouldn’t be too bad if they were more masculine colours. But of course he would never say that to y/n, or she wouldn’t leave him alone. He was just glad that his girlfriend forgave him, because losing her was one of the last things he wanted.

#kaminari #kaminari denki #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bakugo #katsuki bakugou #bakugo scenario #bakugo x reader #kaminari x reader #kirishima #kirishima eijirou #bnha scenario #bnha kirishima #bnha bakugou #bnha kaminari #kirishima x reader

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luobingmeis · 6 years

Text

so i’ve got an amnesty theory

and i had to wash off some negative feelings in the shower so i had a lot of time to think on this so, forgive me, bc this might get a bit long

but i think what travis/aubrey said was right, that this particular abomination looks almost staged, that it’s meant to be scary. and, with that, i think someone is targeting the pine guard/amnesty lodge.

bc, just think, a blonde vampiric woman (suspect: dani) walks into the hornet’s nest (motive: jake coolice’s ex friends) and commits an act so grusome and literally monstrous (evidence that ties into monstrous acts: the cryptonomica) that it can’t be ignored by kepler. it’s meant to be scary and look monstrous because it is.

but, first, let me backtrack: the abominations. as they had said in the episode, the other abominations looked like accidents. the beast looked like a bear and, with that, any fatalities could be a bear attack. if calvin owens drowned in the pool bc of the water monster, it would look like just that: he drowned while training. the calamity tree was literally made to make purposeful events look like accidents. no normal person would look at a bear attack, or a kid who drowned, or a car crash, and think “oh, it’s a monster.”

but a fanged woman who seemed to grow in size and literally mutilate and tear into bodies so badly that they’re unrecognizable? most people’s first thought would be, “oh, it’s a monster.”

and that’s where i think the targeting of amnesty lodge comes in. of course, this raises the question of if it’s dani. i don’t remember if it has been said in canon, but i highly doubt that dani has never left amnesty lodge. i’m pretty sure she’s been out in kepler before. and, since we know that kepler is a small town, there’s probably at least a few people that, in good lighting, could recognize her. so, for whatever reason, if dani wanted to turn on amnesty lodge/mama/pine guard/whatever, i think she would know how to do it.

but i don’t think it’s dani.

i think the abomination can shapeshift. we saw that happen with the terrifying gregor moment (which i have more to say on later) and it could be what happened with dani. perhaps the abomination incapacitated her, therefore feigning memory loss, and went and tore into the hornets.

so, to reiterate, i think this new abomination is targeting amnesty lodge, or is at least working for someone who wants to target amnesty lodge, which leads me to my next point: this abomination will perhaps be the most dangerous one yet

obviously all the abominations are dangerous. and, honestly, most of them were dangerous because of their abstract state. a beastly form that can absorb other animals and become a prime hunter? a water spirit that can infiltrate any place where there’s water? a tree that grows new timelines? it’s all scary bc it’s so inhumane and unpredictable. but this abomination can at least appear human. whether or not to say it actually is, it does a pretty damn good job at looking human.

this abomination has more autonomy than the other three ever could, and i think we’re about to enter a very interesting dichotomy between the monsters in amnesty and the abominations. bc, you know how when someone constantly says “this is fine” and, every time they say it, you believe them less and less? that’s kinda how i feel with mama constantly saying that the abominations and the monsters in kepler are nothing alike. now, i’m not saying that the residents in amnesty are these horrible, abominable creatures. fuck, ned trying to tell mama that when they were dealing with billy is fucking painful bc you can just feel how badly ned fucked up. no, i think we’re about to enter a part of the story where it’s shown that, while the abominations and the amnesty residents are not one in the same, one can become the other a lot easier than anyone else would like.

i think it’s also important to note that, if this is true, it means the abomination knows enough to be able to not just properly target amnesty, but also enough to know what’s going on w/ the pine guard at any time.

which leads me to my next point: i think someone, and perhaps that someone is the abomination, is watching amnesty lodge.

now, quickly, let’s break down the “normal” npcs that are, knowingly or not, involved in what’s going on with amnesty lodge:

leo: ex chosen one, already knows what’s going on, knew for longer than duck did. he already has a major role in the story, so i’m sure he’s fine

pigeon wilson: ngl i kinda forgot abt her, but she knows a lot. but, still, she had her “place” in the story in fighting the monsters, and i don’t think she’d try to target amnesty. if anything, she’d want to get involved w/ the pine guard, but i digress

calvin owens: a high school kid who was attacked and, against his will, dragged into all this shit. i honestly think he’s terrified and doesn’t want to get involved anymore

sheriff owens: knows more than he’s actually aware of, but he’s so fed up with ned and the cryptonomica that i don’t think he believes any of it yet. right now, i think he’s a source of tension in the story.

juno: knows that something is going on bc duck just happened to know that the train-thing was gonna crash. if im being honest, i don’t know enough about her to make a judgement call yet

the hornets: this one’s obvious, but i guess it’s good to note that keith knew the most first, but none of them know what’s fully going on yet

so, all these people (and forgive me if i’m missing some i don’t have the wiki pulled up) are people who have been directly involved one way or another. either they learned something from one or more members of the pine guard, or has taken part in monster hunting, or, in leo’s specific case, was a monster hunter

but there’s one npc left that ik we all love joking abt w/ his apparent obliviousness, but i think we should all start being just a bit more wary of: agent stern

now, this is where i myself am still piecing things together, bc i don’t necessarily think that stern is an abomination or is in cahoots with an abomination or what have you. but, honestly, i wouldn’t be surprised if he knows more than he lets on. bc, listen, i love the “bigfoot’s number one fan, agent stern, is served pancakes by bigfoot every morning and has yet to figure it out” joke just as much as the next person, but i think he might end up knowing a lot more than we think. i mean, for one, he’s living in amnesty, and has been for months. i’m not saying that he saw actual bigfoot walking out of the hotsprings, or opened a wrong door and found thacker, but there’s probably been some close calls.

(okay this is commentary from my proofreading but i just remembered the fucking creepy stunt “thacker” pulled when he seemed to be posessed and talking to aubrey through the speaker and that might be connected, might not be, but i don’t even have time to unpack that)

but, still, that’s not really what i think is happening. i don’t think stern is gonna show up one episode and be like, “aha! i knew it! i have been working with the abominations to figure out what you guys are doing!” no, per se, i think the abomination knows that stern is in amnesty lodge, and that stern works for the FBI in unexplained phenomena, and that stern is currently surrounded by unexplained phenomena.

which leads me to backtrack back to this abomnation: if the theory that i thought about while avoiding my feelings is actually true, this abomination knows a lot. this abomination knows to “become” dani, the explicit vampire in amnesty lodge. it knows that jake used to hang around with the hornets but now there’s some bad blood and, not only that, probably knows that aubrey threatened to burn keith alive (bluffing or not, she still said it). and this abomination is in kepler, home of cryptids and monsters and every other unexplained phenomena.

but, with all that, this abomination seems to know the pine guard’s plans. like, it knew that they were going to the morgue!!! i don’t think “gregor” actually being not-gregor and the actual gregor being dead and the pine guard being there at that time was not some coincidence!!! whatever this abomination is, and as of rn i think it’s some shapeshifting thing, it knows a lot more than it should.

and then, to tie this all up in a messy bow, my personal thinking as to why this abomination is targeting amnesty lodge is this: to start conflict between the humans and the monsters. griffin has been dropping stuff everywhere about wars that broke out on other planets similar to ours/sylvane. janelle told aubrey that sylvane is not her world to save because of the war it could cause.

i think abominations have a lot more awareness than we give them credit for, and i think this is how we’re going to start to see it. i think this abomination is following around the pine guard, feigning amnesty residents as suspects, and committing crimes that can be seen as motives because of the devastation it would cause. bc, it was said in the episode w/ regards to the hornets, if people knew that monsters were real and living in the town, would they stop at just the “bad” monsters, or would they do anything to be rid of all of them?

which this, i think, can raise the questions as to why this abomination would want to cause war, or if it’s against sylvane or against kepler or against both worlds in general, but i don’t even know if i’m right in any of this and i don’t want to make this post any longer than it already is

but, still, thanks for coming to my ted talk

#taz amnesty #the adventure zone #taz #amnesty #taz amnesty spoilers #taz spoilers #i feel like im throwing a lot of spaghetti at the wall but hey some of it might stick

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artlessictoan · 6 years

Note

what abt ino x temari

whelp, safe to say that temari and Chouji have won the unofficialrarepair contest kdfjhgskd also.. please consider…….. Super-Buff Femme tema andGlamour Butch ino………………

ok requests are closed for now, I’ll finish off the one I’vestill got in my askbox and then get back to my other projects, this was reallyfun though so next time I’m low on ideas I’ll do another rarepair fest orsomething! thanks to everyone who sent me stuff, hope you enjoyed it!

---

She’d never in her life been as petrified as she was at thismoment. She’d walked through hell and come out the other side to tell the tale– loudly, to anyone in the bar willing to indulge her drunken bragging – butsitting here at her dining table, staring intently at the candles slowlydripping wax into their decorative holders, counting the seconds until contact likeshe would in a courtroom, Temari felt anxiety she’d never known tickling up anddown her spine.

This was gonna go terribly,she just knew.

Mentally she went over the plan again; in approximatelythree minutes Ino was due to arrive, she would walk – not run, walk – to the door and greet her with aconfident smirk and a light peck, then usher her swiftly into the dining room,where she would unveil a beautiful feast and her girlfriend would squeal andgive her a tight hug and they would immediately dig in and marvel at thedelicious meal.

Temari had been preparing for this day for months, she’dbeen training and had thrown several dozen speeches in the bin in frustrationas she sought out the perfect words, but there was no more time left to plan,now she’d just have to pray that she’d done enough.

Her alarm going off made her jump, even though she’d known it was coming, as did the tuneful rappingon the door several seconds later.

Glaring at her phone, she swiped the screen to shut it up,then barrelled to her front door at almost full-speed – nearly twisting herankle when her stiletto heel managed to find the space right between twofloorboards – before practically crashing into the wall. Leaning on it heavilyfor a few moments to collect herself, she quickly glanced in the hallway mirrorand tweaked a few strands of her short, wild, curly hair, hiked up the top ofher strapless dress, then took a deep breath and opened the door.

“What the hell was with that thumping just now, you trip orsomething?” Was the first thing out of Ino’s mouth, followed by, “You look gorgeousbabe.”

She smiled at the compliment, glad that the light dusting ofblush she had would cover her flush and leaned down to place a kiss to hercheek. “Thanks, you do too; is that a new suit?” she asked, eyeing hergirlfriend’s sharp, tailored look appreciatively.

“Mhmm, thought you might like it” Ino said, winking as shesauntered past.

Temari shook her head at the door as she locked it, before placinga firm hand against the small of Ino’s back and pushing her towards the diningtable, even pulling out a chair for her with a smirk.

“Madame.”

Snorting, Ino dropped into the seat. “Enchanté,” she drawled, running a feather-light caress up Temari’s muscledarm, lightly squeezing at her bicep with that slightly delirious giggle shealways gave whenever she admired her girlfriend’s physique – a sound that neverfailed to boost her confidence. “So, what’s on for tonight?”

Gently pulling herself from Ino’s grip, Temari walked overto the kitchenette and pulled out the dishes she’d been keeping warm in theoven, carefully placing them on the table, before lifting the lids with aflourish. “Ghormeh Sabzi, served with rice and bread, and rose rice pudding fordessert.”

“Oh…” She gasped as she looked upon the spread before her. “Ohno… Temari, did you cook this?”

She thwacked her lightly with the oven mitts. “Hey! I knowI’m not a great cook but I’ve been practicing for weeks, I got Kankuro to tutorme and everything-” he’d walked out after two hours, declaring her a lost causeand insult to the culinary arts, but Ino didn’t need to know that, “-I couldfollow this recipe in my sleep I’ve made it so many times!”

Her girlfriend gently brought a hand to her heart in a waythat Temari honestly couldn’t tell was patronising or not. “Aw, babe, you didall that for me?”

Rolling her eyes, Temari sat down across from her girlfriendand started spooning some rice onto her plate, saying, “If you’re gonnacomplain you can just go home.” She knew wouldn’t though, because Ino couldnever resist the beckoning call of a train wreck waiting to happen… no matterhow many times she had been burned in the past.

Sometimes literally, when it came to Temari’s food.

“Oh, stop pouting,” she said, reaching across to take herown fill, the short hair tucked behind her ear falling forward as she did so; sheblew it out of her face with an annoyed huff. “I’m sure it’s lovely!”

Their mutual soft smiles lasted all of five seconds.

By the time Temari had grabbed a roll of kitchen towel, Inohad spat her mouthful back onto her plate and drained half her glass of wineand Temari was seriously regretting attempting to actually swallow.

“Why is it so bland? I’ve eaten paper more flavourful thanthis!” Ino wailed, desperately wiping at her mouth. “And how was the ricecrunchy and mushy at the same time?”

She shook her head desperately. “I don’t know! I followedthe recipe exactly; except the parts that seemed like a waste of time, I meanit was all going to be cooked in the end, so what’s the point in soaking the rice,or that ‘simmer gently’ bull – more heat means faster cooking! – or frying somestuff just to put it to the side only to go back in later, you should just cookit all in one pan at once, why make things harder for yourself!”

“Babe,” Ino said, dragging a hand slowly down her face, “Ilove you, but you can’t even boil an egg properly, what made you think tryinganything more ambitious than a sandwich was a good idea?”

Fully prepared to be deeply offended the entire night, perhapseven giving her girlfriend the silent treatment until she apologised, Temarimade the mistake of taking another bite of her objectively horrendous dinner.

“Ugh, god, fuck!”

Ino snorted, helpfully passing over the wine bottle, whichshe drank from liberally. Eventually she managed to recompose herself, though shecouldn’t remove the sour look from her face.

“…Guess we’ll give dessert a skip then.”

“It’s for the best, good thing I came prepared!” Ino reachedinto her blazer pocket and withdrew a long, thin envelope, holding it out toher as she said, “Happy anniversary!” with a wide grin.

She blinked a few times before hesitantly accepting the gift;sliding a short nail across the seal, she pulled out the contents, staring atthe paper in her hand for a good long two minutes before bursting into laughter,barely managing to speak through her cackling. “You absolute fucking bitch.”

Her girlfriend was stillgrinning at her, head leaning heavily on one hand as she tapped the menus in Temari’shands. “So, what do you feel like ordering?”

“How about some damn respect for all my hard work?” she asked,not able to sound even slightly annoyed.

“Aww, sorry, that’s out of my price range, but maybe I canget you some more wilful self-delusion when it’s back in stock.”

“You’re paying for this you know,” Temari said, idly glancingthrough the menus.

Ino recoiled in shock. “But I’m the guest! Your baby brotherwould be appalled at your sub-par hosting.”

She leaned forwards, batting her girlfriend on the nose withthe Chinese takeaway. “Hey, don’t play the Gaara-card on me, he’d be morelikely to get on your case about not finishing my food like a polite guest would-”

“I’m pretty sure eating this would put me in a hospital.”

“-and you can consider it practise for when you’re not a guest anymore,” she finished,ignoring Ino’s input in favour of checking out some desserts.

There was a long, heavy pause, before she finally realisedwhat she’d just said and how much wine was left in that bottle again? Becauseshe was pretty sure it was Not Enough.

“…Tem-”

She immediately dropped the menus and started waving herhands to cut her off, desperately trying to speak through her heaving lungs, “Oh,shit. I’m, I’m sorry, that wasn’t- Imean, it was, but that wasn’t how Iwanted to ask, I’m just…”

Soft, slender fingers caught her flapping wrists, tugging untilshe’d calmed down a little. Across the table, Ino was giving her the gentlest smile, bright eyes sparkling inthat way she adored, as she stood from her seat and slowly walked around to herside, crouching down so they were eye-level with each other and reaching onehand to tangle in her hair.

“Yes, I’ll move in with you,” she said, giggling andpressing a light kiss to Temari’s nose, “but only if you promise to never touch a frying pan ever again.”

Trying and failing to hold in her excited laugh, she presseda kiss of her own to Ino’s lips. “Deal.”

---

#ictoan writes #inotema #temaino #temari #ino yamanaka #naruto #this was an absolute joy to write omg #some kinda modern au where tem is mixed japanese/iranian #it's a background detail though #anyway you will claw this hc from my cold dead hands #ictoan answers #Anonymous

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winterbvrnes · 7 years

Text

Flowers [B.Barnes]

request (x) by @tieddown-withbattleshipchains

summary: You begin to find sweet gifts and cute letters left around your apartment, but you don’t know who they’re from… until you catch him red-handed.

wc: 1668

note: idk how i feel abt this & its prob riddled with errors [ps. i’m looking for a betareader ;)] also check that↓ out

Aly’s 600 Follower Writing Challenge

tw: mentions of Hydra and other enemies, second-hand embarrassment(?), sneaking around (intrusion?), and some cute blushing Buck

They started showing up on June 5th. You don’t know why, or how (seriously, you were pretty sure you’d locked your door when you left that morning) but when you got over the creepy aspect, you began to look forward to the little gifts that would show up.

The first ‘gift’ that showed up scared you a bit. When you walked into your quarters after a tiring day of dealing with press and saw the little chocolate and note card you were positive it was one of three things.

1) Tony being an ass and playing some kind of prank,

2) Hydra (or some other enemy) had broken in and was taunting you, or

3) Nat was feeling sweet today and left you a gift.

Tony had been on a week long mission since Monday (it was only Wednesday), so he wouldn’t have bothered to set this up. The compound is pretty much the most secure building on this planet (other than Damage Control’s warehouse) so that rules out anyone getting in undetected, or bothering to only to leave a candy. There is no way Nat was feeling sweet enough today, not after the asskicking you gave her in training this morning. So, you’re stuck.

With no clue why the candy is there, you kick your door shut and venture over to read the note.

Good job with the press today, I’m sure you did amazing. You always are, and so sweet too; sweeter than this cherry chocolate. Enjoy the rest of your evening by relaxing and destressing, and don’t let those reporters get the best of ya.

The sweet little message is written in beautiful penmanship, and signed with an adorable little smiley-face drawn by a heart. Your lips quirk up as warmth spreads through you at the kind and charming words. But, while they’re sweet, you can’t help but be a little put-off by the thought of someone coming into your room while you were away and leaving this intimate note and a candy (to which you were compared, which shows attention) without saying who they are. Your brows furrow as you place the note back down on the end-table, leaving the chocolate next to it to be safe, before going about your night.

It was two weeks before you received another gift. This time it was a small bouquet of your favorite flowers, bundled up neatly and left on your nightstand next to another note card signed with the same smiley-face. Your brows furrow and you look around, already knowing that you won’t see anyone, but trying anyway. Coming up empty, as expected, you lift the flowers to your face and sniff, inhaling the delicate aroma. Once again feeling a little odd about finding such a romantic gift in your room, you place them on the kitchenette counter and wander into your bathroom to put away your mission gear and shower.

After cleaning up, you finally break and place the bouquet in a vase and fill it with water to display on your windowsill. You smile slightly when you step back to take in the sight. The colors of the petals nearly glow in the sunlight, and you can’t resist snapping a picture for instagram. You caption it and post, watching the hundreds of like immediately flood in (the Avengers are very popular on instagram).

After that, the gifts continue to pour in; from flowers to little stuffed animals to personal care packages, each one incredibly thoughtful and topped with a note card. Whether signed with only a smiley-face, or joined by a cute paragraph, you began to look forward to hearing from this person. Their kindness and charming way began to win you over, despite your initial feelings of being intruded upon.

When you told the girls, Nat had simply rolled her eyes and laughed while Wanda gushed. “You have a secret admirer! That is so cute! I wonder who it is!?” Pepper, having walked into the conversation, had snickered and shared a look with Nat. You’d brushed it off, thinking they were on a different topic, and listened as Wanda named names and considered the possibility of it being them.

That’s where you are now, sitting on the couch listening to Wanda (for the third time that week) update you on her list’s status. After you received your fifth gift (a gorgeous smelling bathbomb and set of little candle) Wanda had started writing down the traits of each team mate that could be a tell for who-dun-it. You sigh, gaze drifting from Wanda’s list over to where Steve and Bucky sit, talking. You tune Wanda out and get lost in a daydream of the handsome soldier, watching as his blue eyes crinkle when he laughs, the brown strands of his hair falling from the bun at the nape of his neck. You rest your chin on the palm of your hand, imagining loosening his hair from the tie and running your fingers through it, feeling the silky waves between your fingers before fisting your hand and tugg–

“Hey! Earth to [Y/N]!” Wanda snaps her fingers in your face, drawing you out of your head. You flush upon realizing that Bucky is looking at you amusedly and you snap upright, turning to glare at Wanda.

“What?” You hiss, embarrassed as you rub your cheeks in an attempt to make them less hot. Wanda snickers and flicks her hair off her shoulder.

“You were staring,” she says simply and you open your mouth to vehemently deny her implications when Steve cuts you off.

“Wanda,” he interrupts, sending you a knowing glance (the one that reeks of Captain America) and placing his massive hand on her shoulder, “Vision told me he was looking for you, something about a movie tonight?” Steve nudges Wanda, not very subtly, and she beams, nodding. “I’ll take you to him.” As Steve passes, he gives Bucky a firm pat on the shoulder and you grimace at being left alone with the assassin. Not because you don’t enjoy spending time with Bucky, but because you enjoy it too much.

You give Bucky an awkward smile, which he reciprocates, before hiking a thumb toward the elevator and saying, “I should probably go train.”

“Oh, yeah, of course, go ahead,” you stutter out, flushing as Bucky sends you a smile and leaves, ever so calm and collected: the complete opposite of you. As the doors close and Bucky sends you a wave with his metal arm, you realize you’d been staring again, and blush heavier, turning to bury your face in your hands when he disappears. “Oh, fuck me.”

After your awkward encounter with Bucky, you’d decided it was time for a night out with Nat. Since she and Clint had moved out of the compound together, you’d been slacking on your weekly Nat-Nights. Lucky for you, Clint had just left on a brief mission with Wanda, leaving you free to get drunk and watch terrible Rom-Coms with Natasha.

“I’m heading out, Steve!” You holler from your doorway, leaving without waiting for Steve’s reply. He’s busy watching the newest Game of Thrones episodes with Bucky and Sam, so it’s likely he didn’t really process your shout. You sling your duffel bag over your shoulder and head to the garage.

Bucky glances over his shoulder towards the elevator, watching the number get smaller as you leave, waiting for the best time to do his thing. When the display reads B1 Bucky throws himself over the back of the couch and he rushes to his room. Steve and Sam watch him speed off and share a knowing look, Sam scoffing and rolling his eyes as they return their attention to the GOT marathon.

With the proper supplies in hand, Bucky sneaks his way to your door and tests the knob. Finding it unlocked (as you’d taken to leaving it since the gifts started coming) he steps inside, closing the door behind himself carefully. He’s standing at the kitchenette counter, arranging the presents when the door creaks open. Bucky freezes, wide eyes darting up to see you standing there, mouth agape.

“U-uh, wha-ho-why-what?” You stutter out, duffel bag landing on the floor with a thud. Bucky puts his hands up defensively.

“I can explain,” he says, shuffling in place awkwardly.

You let out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re my secret admirer?” Never did you believe that James Buchanan Barnes could possibly be the one leaving you trinkets. The man you’ve had a crush on for months.

Bucky sighs. “I- Well, yeah.” He blushes a vibrant, the heat creeping up his neck. “I mean, I guess so? But, I mean, only if you like them, ‘cause if not then you’ve got the wrong guy. But- um, uh, yeah, I’ve been leaving you stuff… “ His face paints itself a deeper scarlet. “I’ve had a crush on you for a while and Steve said I should tell you, but Sam joked that I should leave you chocolate on your pillow like a hotel, and I thought it was stupid but then I got the idea to leave you presents, so Steve helped me ‘cause I’m not as good as I was back in the day, and I really like you–”

You cut him off by firmly pressing your lips against his, silencing any further rambling. His mouth is soft on yours and you smile, feeling heat on your cheeks. You pull back when you don’t feel Bucky respond. A frown settles itself on your face when you meet Bucky staring at you wide-eyed.

“I-I’m sorry, I thought…” You sigh in embarrassment and turn to leave, but Bucky’s hand grips your arm gently and pulls you back to him, allowing his hands to drift down your sides and settle on your hips.

His cocky grin is back, full blown when he says, “So, you like-like me?” You snort and flick his chest with an eyeroll at his words.

“Obviously, you doofus,” you whisper as his lips once again press against yours, feather soft.

Tag List for Bucky is Open

(strikethrough couldn’t be tagged, message me if the url is off or if want to be added/removed)

@fly-f0rever @dont-speak-just-read @sammywinchetre @theulimatefangirll

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authenticaussie · 8 years

Note

MarcoSaboAce Mythical creatures Au

Oooo that’s interesting !! Plus I mean like Come On anything with magic / mythos has me basically sold ;3

Kudos to @2014federalbudget for the inspiration

[under the readmore]

oKAY so !!!! Marco’s a scuba diver who used to be a Really Big advocate for animal protection i mean it kinda helps that he’s part fucking bird but he didn’t really put that on his job application and he still IS really for animal protection and stuff but when he was buddy diving w/ a friend of his and taking photos of the reef for a paper his friend/dive buddy ended up disappearing and Marco was Super Devestated bc they could never find him

Im an asshole and his dive buddy was Totally Sabo. Sabo used to work as a human rights activist and met Marco at a rally one time and Marco was the one who encouraged him to go diving & get his dive license and they used to go a lot together??? And went to marches a lot and were rlly close before Sabo vanished

Fast forwards about two years and Marco lives alone by the beach he refuses to admit to anyone - even himself - that the reason he does it is so that he can help anyone in the water And he still teaches people about being good to nature and erosion and not walking on dunes and being careful of the environment and one day during a tour he sees someone lying on the beach and he’s like holy FUCK bc they don’t look good at all and they’re just out of reach of the water, and it’s lapping at their fingertips and-

Marco quickly runs over and checks them out and he had first aid training that he still remembered from diving and he did a lot of water stuff so he knows his shit and the guy wakes up and smiles at him and Marco’s momentarily taken back because this weird freckled dude is smiling at him like they know each other???

“Oh cool,” they say weakly, moving to grip Marco’s hand and carefully, shakily lean up a little bit, “i was- looking for you Marco-” and he gets smiled at and then freckled!dude flops forwards again and groans and Marco’s like ooooookay that’s weird what the HELL???

“Totally not- dead, by the way. Totally not,” says the guy, and Marco’s soooo confused he ends up just helping the guy up and they’re close to his house so he tells his - very pitiful - tour that he’s gonna take this stranger to the hospital to get checked over and they nod and Marco helps the stranger to his house and goes inside to grab his keys but when he comes out again the guy’s gone????????? and there’s crashing noises in his kitchen??? and he goes inside and the fish he was planning to have for dinner is like a carcass (what the fuck, he thinks, that wasn’t even cooked) and there’s splashing sounds coming from his bathroom and he groans because of course he got the one weirdo who went immediately back to the water after almost drowning

And he growls and groans and stomps to the bathroom and throws open the door and demands to know why the guy didn’t stay but hAHAHAH THAT’S A BIG FUCKING TAIL???? FISH TAIL???? GUY’S UNDERWATER AND BLOWING BUBBLES HAPPILY JUST. WHAT IS THIS.

And the guy seems to realise he’s there and pops up happily and leans on the bathtub and is grinning and says “hey it’s not the ocean but maaaan this is nice!!! Water’s all i needed, haha.”

“what the fuck.” marco says flatly, and the guy flicks his tail

“ahhhh, yeah i got asked here??? as a favour??? to try and find you??? lol but i forgot about the land / water thing and ended up a bit stuck. Good thing you came along or i would’ve been sundried!” / “mmm, sundried fish. nice.”

(what the fuck, marco feels like repeating again, but pushes that thought out of his mind to ask,) “Sent by who?? Pretty sure I don’t know any- uh-”

“Ace!”

Not what I was asking, Marco thinks, but takes the response regardless. “I don’t think i know anyone that you would know, Ace.”

And ace brushes him off and laughs and says yeah you totally do??? Unless u forgot him. Which would suck. (he looks super conflicted and marco’s like??? well i hope i havent and you know i dont even know who i’d be forgetting because you havent TOLD ME JACK SHIT YET OKAY also like he’s taking this t ail thing remarkably well but well…..like i said earlier he’s Part bird. Like….vegetarian, sometimes drags all the pillows and blankets into the floor to make a nest….occasionally has to pull off brightly coloured feathers from his forearms…has great vision. but that’s abt it. ((The reason he wanted to dive was because it felt like flying)))

ummm anyway bc i need to sleep what happens is ace is like yeah know this dude called sab hes one of my best friends and wants to come visit but he’s like 95% water now soooooo may be Difficult???? and Marco Freaks and ace tells abt how sab got accidentally turned into a water spirit kind of thing bc ace hadn’t wanted to see him die and marco ends up running back to the beach and into the water, the water that pulls at him just like it always did but now he’s concentrating it feels like hands skimming his ankles and he walks deeper, and deeper, until his chest is submurged and something grabs his hands and he pulls and it’s sabo but not e x a c t l y because sabo didn’t have seashells pinning back his hair and his hair wasn’t tinted slightly blue and green but the smile is all sabo’s and Marco feels something in his chest settle from where it’d been knocked sideways by ace’s admission.

Knocked sideways by sabo disappearing all those years ago, stolen by a place marco would never belong to. He may’ve loved the water but he’d always been a creature of the skies.

Ace + Sabo living in Marco’s bathtub and making a watery slippery mess and when marco drags himself home and wants to take a bath they’ve taken up the entire bath and he just (groans quietly) bc theyre such assholes

Marco buying them one of those inflatable kiddie pools but they sneak back into the bathtub regardless and theyre like it’s more comfortable!! / IT’S LIKE HALF YOUR SIZE, YOU DON’T EVEN FUCKING FIT, YOU LIARS

(what they don’t admit is that it’s more comfortable to be pressed close, for sabo to hear Marco’s beating heart and Ace to know that he wasn’t going to be left. for Marco to have fingertips easily finding and tangling with his own, and he soon finds he doesn’t mind who’s hand he’s holding)

#maracebo #marcoacesabo #marcosaboace #opfanfic #nari is writing #i tried to look up mythos from the nationalities i hc these guys as and i found ones i thought could work but than ahah //sweats #i didn't want to insult anyone by fucking up #wordsdrippinginink #ask aussie #bip bop nari drops #i had a few other ideas before this but this one is fun #do u knwo right after i asked for these my lecture started working again i just [screams]#and then every time it froze and i was waiting i was like oh i could go work on the cool asks and then it would wo o rk again i just #suffering #lol @ myself will i ever be able to keep these short???#no.#a n y w a y my other idea was based on negrinho de pastoreio and i didnt want to use it bc i could only find paragraph descriptions #of the mythos etc but like....there was this one line in most of them that was like #if you promise to light a candle in his honour he will help you find lost objects #and all i could think abt was ghost!ace and sabo lighting candles every night because sabo lost *him*#ahhh anyway im gonna finish off the last one in the morning!!! <333 #it's late here #i was just finishing up my readings before i headed off to bed.

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haeroniel-doliet · 6 years

Text

dwhos here for another raaaaaant (vent)? topic is friendships but lets see where thisll go! waheyy let us insert the read more.

kayokay okay welcome youre gonna regret this; if you havent read through my shitty vents before prepare for ilegibility and thought trains going all over the place and references to things and people youll never know okay great you got off this train? cool gives me more power to crash it see ya.

okay where do we even begin, oh lets go wild and push out a couple topics first. one is; how shit has improved being uni and how everything seems awful brighter now; why it hasnt actually improved and im lonely as ever; how lonely have i always been; but am i really lonely or just think i should have more bc expectations; why im like this and cannot form relationships

lets start with a bit of a history dive eh eh this is what youre here for, me oversharing my life to nobody thatll read it but come on anyway bc one of the reasons i even fucking do these is because; ironically enough; i have no friends to vent this to!! nobody who actually gives a shit!! and even if they did i have a lot more words and confused thoughts to write out here that would just be really mean to inflict on someone else.

ok so, classically as a kid ive almost grown as an only child, obviously have a big bro of 7 yrs older that i never formed more of a bond to than the one we share by sharing a family. aka we barely talk. but like i know he doesnt hate me i guess? ok im not gonna go there. its a weird mess. but. all childhood was mostly me playin by myself bc our family friends had kids his age not mine, and we moved around a bunch too and people came in and out, i guess i made ‘best friends’ pretty easily, but none stuck around longer than a year maybe 2-3. bc thats how life was and as a child i guess it wasnt a bother bc hey, let me be friends with everyone! oh but protective parents also mean mostly on my own. thats cool. im totally mature to be sitting at the adults table (there was no kids table) well early at 6-7. mhmmm

lemme return to finland and start being an early awkward preteen! oh ill be friends with everyone! oh. everyone already has their best friend or best friend group? oh i get left on the playground alone ‘playing the dog at home while they go shopping okay playground games were lame but whaddyou do’ aight cool im okay with this theyre all my friends and im gona draw you all to make friends and nobody like actually bullies me or thinks im weird i guess, anyway school work. oh okay ill make best friends w my neighbour bc were only 7 days apart in age and thats crazy!! i guess we also make friends with lil girls next door bc were 10- 12 and thats what u do. sure. i feel rather criticised by my so called bff bc. we are not on the same wavelength, i feel dumb, im never as funny even if they are hilarious to me, i do gross things w out thinking (imagine having to be told by your friend that you need to buy deodorant when you never thought abt it) and like a bunch of other stuff like not picking up on social cues they dont wanna hang out with me or they dont think looking at funny pictures on the phone is fun... oh okay i mean i guess theyre way better than me but were still friends right? uh yeah.

okay lets take a gap and go to uk, oh wow, SHIT people actually miss me at home?? im making friends with all these kids in my neighbourhood! oh i can be like the movies where they go down the street and hang out and have movienights awesome! who this is the best! fucking halloween w other 13 yr olds?? having hobbies w them? walking to the bus together and home together?? mad. wild. friends. lets ignore the school consisting of pricks and the only time in my school career ive gotten bullied. like classic bullying. pens thrown at me, butt touched, skirt lifted, name called, teasing my ‘naivety’ (do you work at the dildo factory? haahah. are you frigid? would you have sex with me if i bought you a burger?) oh 13-14 yr olds.... ok no its a wild really good and really shit year combined into an okay year. let me just return home and promise to keep in touch and really very barely keep in touch with any of them. thanks instagram for enabling minimal contact and keeping up w each other.

(also back then made my first post cryin to tumblr oh why cant i have tumblr besties like everyone else seems to, please someone be my internet buddy! lucky enough actually talked to Amelia a lot, though...... 14 yr old and abt 20 smth. but we played minecraft together and made two shit youtube videos of our competition participation like. you were a good friend to me. never pushed it too far and i really liked having a mature friend. such a shame you seem to have disappeared off the internet (anywehre i know how to reach you) bc hell, i would not have been opposed to meeting you finally irl at fuckin mcm like i always kinda wanted to bc i saw ppl online do, anyway i hope ur life is good and thanks)

kay so, finally back home weve all moved past the best friend cliques okay okay my class is actually fuckin rad like whaddu you know i dont have to aggressively swear and avoid hugs anymore (self defence from that shitty year) but actually have all these wholesome friends, ofc there were stronger relationships between some people but! i was included. i felt good. it was good. i figured out this being everyones friend thing. im a proper teen now eh. oh but i still had my best friend (briefly moirail) maxx! talking everyday at least for least half an hour if not more, skype calls... watching movies together... sending shit to canada and that one mail i got from you and planning so hard a visit there, even if it felt unrealistic. maybe even spending too much time on you and not making as many connections to my class friends as i could have, u know. stuck on my phone to always be available to you. making you more important. dunno how often id talk thru a crisis in class or however late at night bc, i wanted to be there for you! i loved being needed and being an important piece in moving thru tough times. sure detrimental maybe irl but i was being too much online anyway which i still do but were not there yet. besides, that relationship has had a bit of a roller coaster in the past nearly4 yrs (is it more?) shit that started from an rp and then slowly talking more to being moirails to being the tightest best friends “momma” and all, to your irl friends breaking it up slowly, then a boyfriend really took oyur time and we didnt talk daily lt alone ever get to call bc... shit. okay but i was friends with your boyfriend and though i saw it wouldnt last i was okay with it, like right cool thats teh boyfriend and im the bestfriend. im still involved. yeah man. oh you broke up and now talk more to me! fuck yeah. ill take your side in this regardless. lets get close again even if its not quite the same. i try join your cosplay groups though i cant help feeling me joining killed them, and i followed some you were passionate on! drew all those rad characters of you and your friends to feel adequate and appreciated. then you ad your drama, hated this kid and i wasnt even rly involved. all of a sudden, tight friends, oh i get to be in a chat w you both and a rad other person i had a mild crush on! rad. hell yeah. ive never been in a groupchat like this! this is great i love it. and the vikings came up. and your new friend left bc i was a cis girl and he has problems and could not deal with me not agreeing with his shit argument. (about my countrys history!!) anyway. they make their groupchat, groupchats die. oh. great i ruined it. okay. i no longer know whats in your life.... oh youre best friends now? i kind of have to bug you to even get added to your ‘friends page’ as dumb as it is. i get knocked right aside as hes the bff and the greatest sweetest person ever even though he still seems like a major dick and even your cool older friend agrees with me..... a load of bullshit and weve drawn apart to barely talking once a week and ive still sent you many gifts bc i think its great! until. yeah i wasnt gonna send anymore till you promised to set me up with cosplay pieces for christmas and i freak out to send you smth in return (never got more than measurements from me, and due to shit timing i didnt even get to be there for you opening the presents which fuckin ruined it) but whats this? a year on im fucking coming to america and conviced my parents to also go to canada???? fucking insane. still we dont talk much, the plans werent like i expected but i met you and the cool older friend! amazing! it happened! youre real! i brought you more gifts and i got pictures with you and its, it doesnt feel real still. i keep the fucking bus ticket i took from toronto to guelph to remind me. sure i didnt like get much from you back and thats kay different monetary situations and all and yeah. wild. oh but we still barely talk after? no its ok i get it youre not that good with texting people anymore (even if you kept texting you bff while i was there.... like. maybe he was having a crisis i can understand but... please you barely talk to me anymore and now amazingly im there and. you still talk to him a lot. okay...) ‘ew were not dating were just best friends!” a month later becomes ‘this is my boyfriend and bff i love him more than anything else in the world” ‘oh but hes absolutely a huge mean prick who is super self centered and manipulative,’ and i guess you needed to feel needed like i did and dedicated everything to this shitstorm of a human but. okay... weve drifted apart further, till i demanded thru to your discord (not even active anywhere else) and try damn hard to still talk to you. but its just not genuine. i wanna talk abt important shit to me and worries about myself, but life is difficult on you and i dont feel like you do the same to me so i cant. is it no longer part of our relationship? i guess)

anyway chapter; who the fuck cares; why i feel i can open up to internet friends more than irl ones;;coming up, the other irl exploits after 9th grade.

internet friends are based on talking over text and emotions that come up in the moment and contacting them whenever. with irl people, ive always set a sort of boundary that like. our quota of talking is irl. i might message you online but its strictly related to irl things or smth we discussed irl, u feel? even then i mostly never message anyone (thank the two friends in uni ive talked to more than anyone else) but still. theyre people i will unload burdens to IRL when im sitting with them for hours talking about our fucked up relationships with things and life and thats beautiful. but its not consistent through life? like rn all this shit. i cant just go and vent tto you (i guess i could but who knows if youre mad busy and needa be up early tomorrow or are already sleeping or have other shit on your mind, let alone would be offednede by me being so explicit abt me feelings w friendship u being my friend.) anyway, internet friends have broken that and sometimes i talk abt dumb shit ive seen that remind me of them or i wanna get a reaction from someone about and sometimes this bullshit. but more recently, (my discord has fuckin 3 ppl) i cant. i mean. idk if ever could and now theyre just being better w themselves but i cant? Ana tries being a friend and a good online friend but. i cant take it any deeper than like, look how cool this is! yeah that is cool bc theyre exhausted and dont wanna deal w others bullshit and dont want me to deal with theirs bc theyre online to avoid it. all of which i understand but. its kind of hard to deal with. like. youre currently only passionate about your gays in southpark. two things i dont care bout jack shit (actually hate south park idec) and then your response to me just like contemplating quizzes or the way i felt in the mirror at ballet or like smth that comes up to me when im talking abt normal shit, i get an ok, i dk how to respond or, i dont really care. and wildly i love the honesty, and glad to have lines drawn for me when i dont see them, but it always feels like a smack in the face regardless. having stepped out of line and not having realised and stopped before they had to tell me to stop. like it was w that old neighbour bff. i could never tell when she wanted me to leave her alone or smth bc i was having fun! but shed be tired of it and it just. always hurt realising i was too wrapped up in emotion and myself to realise i was annoying or overstepping boundaries and im still terribly self concious about it bc i feel terrible being a bad person like that! i wanna be the perfect friend.ugh.

the other people on my discord are maxx and the cool older canadian dan, who still is rly cool and admirable. and i feel bad. bc when i first got the dumb thing i talked to him like adults! yea! talked abt maxx and a bit of college and a bit of life and like. it was good! he said good night friend <3 which is like!!! the most wild and exciting thing it fuckin exhilirates me to be called friend in converstion like please fuck validate me being your friend!!!! (god isnt that sad and basically gonna sum up this whole thing) anyway recently im sure things have been sad or busy or hes just that kinda person but my last 4? attempts for convo have gotten no response, even when hes online (supposedly when its ok to message him) and i no longer want to say anything unless its smth im sure id get a response to. bc then im just buggering and annoying the poor guy and become annoying. (even if hes said he doesnt mind and thinks im a great person. i hope) and maxx u know. i can message, and i do, and now more than in a rly long time i- oh my god i get responses!! still they cut short. theres no, hey sorry i dont care or, hey i gotta go, or hey i dont wanna talk abt this, just. no more responses. and i guess my conversational skills are rusty and i havent written anything thatd get an easy response from them! (but stilll, should talking to friends rly require you to formulate conversation starters and talk in a way that doesnt provoke too much but is just easy enough for them to respond briefly and with no investment to make talking to me easy as possible? idk even iguess? maybe im shit at having friends and thats why i have none. shush.)

okay lets head back to irl. high school was shitty weird thing, around 10 ppl in class and i only made friends w 3? got bullied for a good couple days on a trip by 1 and another class person. terrible trying to make friends and keep friendly with everyone in a tiny school but i managed and alls good, and even still, just made friends with the most compatible people, not sure if id have been friends with otherwise. one a nervous wreck of a boy that the teacher tried to like ‘ship us together with’ but while he had a girlfriend and we managed to keep conversation joking and chill (as it should be and i made good sure of it) it was fine, he still like i a very girlfriend oriented person and i guess doesnt chat much online w other girls? im cool with it, a couple snap updates on life here an there its whatever. youre an anxious person anyway and we dont always like. work as friends. another was from japan, who id decieded to make a friend if only to have a friend in japan to visit and to teach me a bit (and teach us to make food! okay im so glad we were friends) and at school it was great enough. helped her get confident in speaking english and correcting work and sitting together at lunch and hanging out outside of school on the rare occasion schedules lined up was fab! i actually am gonna miss her. even if we werent close. and i feel bad bc idk if she wants to keep in contact, and i really suppose i should just aim to write her like a text once a month or so to keep in touch thatd be good, cover that. keep up english and so on. maybe (ps old friends from childhood pop up every now and then on social media and have the rare chat which is quite nice actually! even if im not active or keep them updated, some realtionships i like to leave lukewarm and not hateful but smth thats easy to catch up with if opportunity comes up. i actually can do that quite a lot, make good conversation and feel friendly and make acquaintances. i just. have no idea how to push them to proper active friendships (it just happens sometimes by accident) and no absolute clue how to make htat into a very close “bff we share everything i can message you whenever” kinda relationship classic media like facebook portrays idk. do i need it? i guess not but i kinda wanna know what thats like bc relationships are not a thing for me. lets make that its own paragraph) oh but also on old school friends my frustration of a few days, just. a friend that is the easiest to keep in touch with bc they intitiate and have time and want to do things, but god its annoying and i dont like them. our humours dont align and i feel judged and criticised and like. idk. dont feel great w them. theres moments of like genuine “im glad i met you bc i would have switched schools otherwise” from her and a jar of reminders why were friends and some good memories, but its just. she drains me. and i dont wanna talk deep w her. and though to some other friend it seems like we are heckin dating in secret bc of how comfortable we are and how much we end up communicating to organise things, uhm were not. i wouldnt date her ever im sorry. struggling to stay friends and have it fade to the background amicably before i do or say smth wrong and fuck it up. anyway its just bugging me and i hate it bc i feel bad for her and bad for myself and its just a mess that i dont wanna deal with that mucheven if i talked my parents ear off about it.

ok intermission to parents. in a way no. no fuck they are not my friends. my mom will never be my best friend and i dont think they want that either,being classic parents and allbut i guess, sometimes when i get past the ugh youll never understand youre so god damn annoying!! teenage phase my brain still has, i do talk to them about a lot of things that upset me, bc unlike friends, they cant decide not to care about me or stop talking to me u know. i have vented about shit practices that have really tested my self worth and lack of emotions (remind sobbing like a bitch with a mud covered ass walking home from a terrible skating practice and falling in the rain) and mom comforting thru it. mind telling them all the pent up feelings abt flatmates and analysing them to her like”well shes rly nice and we talk abt this and this but i cant help but feel she doesnt really wanna talk to me and also they didnt wanna hang out and they keep leaving their dishes and told me to clean mine but they did this and that and....” i never talk about internet friends or a lot abt other things bc. not relevant and i dont think id hear what i wanna hear. but im kinda glad i still can do that and vent to them abt like real life things and things that upset me even if its not exhaustive and i cant do everything and they dont fill the gap of this “true best friend” i have emulated. but thats a point of why im not rly lonely. bc i have outlets to a lot of these needs that im not missing it all . just dont have it all in one person or even a small group of ppl.

wht next. oh remind me to come back to group things online. anyway lets give uni a try. so weve talked abt my two impressive friends irl who take the same course as me and kind of have dragged me thru and have gone to hobbies w me and hung out w me for hours and actually come to visist me in london an been cool? yeah theyre pretty rad people and very smart and im glad theyre in my life. even if w al the ranting im not comfortable messaging them all hours of the night to talk abt all my insecuritites and thoughts and problems u know. and one is dating and both have flatmate drama and other groups of friends and tho theyre friends between each other we dont like. make the ultimate trio which is why were not moving in together ( also reminder to being called the 3 musketeers w my high school two gals bc we were seein kinda doing everything together (in school) by me sticking us all together with my “i need to feel validated with friends” glue. that was quite nice.)

but like in uni, ive said it to a lot of people. its amazing. ive never been happier knowing this many people. i dont make drama, i almost never get included in any drama so all i get are friends!!! and having flatmates, and flatmates friends, and class mates, and people ive just met , and hobby friends i just knew so many people thatd be friendly to me and even smile at me in passing it feels great man. having multiple group hobbies and socials to go to (even if i dont drink much and its not like were partying) it feels good man. i want more of this next term now that i have no”i dont know anyone there” excuses. god i love it. i love waving to people i know, i love getting a ride from someone to go hang out t another friends place and people knowing me by name and caring about my presence! (though not too much, like nobody would miss me i guess, but i still have more of a place to carve and i cant say for sure that they did not notice me missing) anyway archery has been terrbily wholesome and one of the best things ive invested time into and im sad some of the happy faces there are leaving this summer....... and sure none of these friends have gone even to proper hugging levels, let alone talking together without a group of people or god, messaging privately if not strictly club stuff (ok theres like, a couple, one that im delighted about and cant wait to hang w in finland even tho theyre cooler than me) but u know, same problem w. hm were friends within this hobby group. were not like. actually friends outside of this and wouldnt hang outside of it. uh. yeah. dont rly have that many that kinda friends..... just 2 in fact. ill work on that....

side note, i try joining in online groups like mxrp discords, and an odd skype chat for homestuck cosplayers. but its kinda the worst. i dont mind observing and reading in and commenting in my head and rarely actually participating tho nobody knows who i am, but like. nobody knows who i am or cares if im there at all. and its kind of a not great feeling. im not needed or wanted here. they just dont mind me being there u know. idk wht to do with those feelings. i dont really wanna make myself obnoxiously present and make people remember and want to talk to me and actually become immersed in it, bc these dont seem like that great people idk. i guess im too ‘mature’ to just go omg i love you an all that.

anyway lets dive into hmmmmmm why am i still lonely? funny question eh. its because i have no consistent close relationships with anyone. have i ever? maxx was closest but i guess nawh here we are. i can get close to u in a night of just talking for hours but. if it doesnt carry through consistently does it count? i have a couple people to message when im delighted abt smth (heck even post to snapchat to get those lukewarm friendships to be reminded of me) and i have my parents to be sad to about a certain category of things that i share w them (like hobby frustrations and friends theyve met frustrations, and some body upset) i have this hunk of friends in uni i can hang out and chill with and will continue making better friends with gladly. im not an isolated herrmit (all the time) nor do i think im socially despicable. im just. normal. online ive felt more and more as much as i spend my entire day online w all these things im not an internet person??im not always posting on social media, im not always talking to 10 ppl at once, im not writing or creating media, im not consuming other than youtube actually, (like i dont watch shows u knw) , all i do is rp when i muster the strength and hang out lukewarm on tumblr posting rants and reblogging pretty and fun things, not getting involved much. not a fan of anything, not obsessed w anything, not overtly gay ( i dont even know what i am but girls are pretty and sex and relationships get gross as soon as you add me into the picture) and not an exciting personality. hell. i currently fuckin like ballet and archery and like. thats about it. (also hahahhahh catch me going down the abc list of hobbies, aikido, archery, badminton (w archery ppl) ballet. what next. cricket? crochet... cooking? dance (ballet) fencing gaming (hah no), hockey? ice skating ( im already doing it) like look at me anyway shh) im not trans and i dont feel gay enough to fit in (what a rant that is, but im just ignoring it for now) im so boring. too reational, too uninvolved, too unopinionated/have an opinion but prefer to keep quiet and at peace. i guess this is what normal people are like off the internet. and ill just deal with it. but how normal people fill the gap are these ridiculously idealistic bff groups that i clearly dunno how to achieve, and uh. relationships.

so i can foresee a future where an imaginative foggy figure will care about me so much and want to hear all these rants and talk about all my wild thoughts with me and love me and remind me of it and be happy around me and think im funny and make me feel good and loved and better than i am and be someone i love being aorund constantly and wont have to feel self concious with or like i need to be putting on the front that is not gross and is a lovely sociable person. like i doubt they even exist. the kind im specifically thinking off thatll make life a sunset gold and unbelievably happy and good. ill save that sunset gold feeling to my dream future, one in which im happy with my body and personality and have that shadowy figure that makes me all whole and better than im alone and all these pets and animals that i love and love me and plants and color and art and whimsical decorations and yknow. i see it in my head. it feels real good. i kinda wanna see if itll actually happen. it just. it feels so fuzzy and warm and i would love for that actually be real and look back on this and be like. i have it. everythings complete. we can dream. i might get it when im grey and old and all alone but found smth that makes it that good. anyway im not discounting that there might be ‘the one’ in that future, the perfect one. but. i still doubt in the present when or if ill ever meet them let alone if i do htat anything would happen. ive never ever dated anyone or even come close to it. i dont understand how people just, end up in relationships or almost always have one, and i guess im not trying to bc idk if i want it- idk if im ready for it, but its a weird one ill tell u. i feel with this perfect imaginary figures all these bad feelings would go away and i could talk about them and someone help me fix them and become more and better than my thoughts. but i dont wanna look for one. i dont wanna experiment in relationships so that im ready and wont fuck it up when the one comes bc, its horrendous and stressful and im gross! im not dating material. nah. and obviously nobodys tried to date me so were all on the same page. honestly once i sort out the other things wrong w me, i might just get to therapy for this shit. like. why are relationships such a shit concept to me and like why and how do i deal with it without just saying fuck it relationshipss are not for me. i have no doubt ill keep making connections and friends throughout my life in all different random places, but im actually... kinda afraid none will stick around. if i cant form consistent strong friendships theyre al gonna fade away and ill have nobody when i need someone. having that one solid person would really help bc theyre there thick and thin i guess aparently. i have myself, but considering what a mess i am idk if thats enough at all. i think i should change myself an awful lot though before a relationship could happen. like. nobody wants a barely showering fat chubby in an awkwardway terrible skinned messy sad blabbery person. like. just a gross one. i gotta become so much better before i can even consider letting someone past to get this close i guess. i guess. these feelings are really not settling here and i feel off the rocker. like unsettled and uneasy. also i need to pee which is rly not helping feel less gross. that and my hair is nasty greasy bc rather than take a shower at a reasonable time i did.... nothing. and then i started writing this an hour, two hours ago? more? idk.

kay then, we have reflected briefly while i was away on how fat and ugly i am and how hopeless considering ive been trying to finish a knitting project for my baby cousin and start drawing again or even just playing my old pokemon game (yknow summer vacay) things in the past few days. nawh. havent. even more productively i should have done actual exercise to build my stamina and make faster improvements in ballet and actually try and tackle the fat and ugly feeling in 8 weeks (but that like... requires diet control... which is hard?) and like o u know. finishing my fucking university course ive lied to everyone abt? ok lets be real i have passed the year and can move into the next w the credits i have and passed all the mandatory classes. but. i want/ need to pass this class. and i already forked out 30 pounds hopefully correctly to apply for a resubmission (more like first submission) of all these projects and its hard. considering in my hirearchy of shit that needs to be done (easiest most necessary first) i havent even reached the first ladder of like washing my nasty hair. the ladder includes all the above projects and at the end of it is like completing that course (needs to be done by the end of the month u kno bitchh. u dont know how long its gonna take you cannot leave it to the last few days. and this other bulshit course idk if ill even get credit for completing late and dont know if i care but i guess i gotta do it anyway

basically i just wanna d ie. thatd be nice. id not have to feel fat and stupid and worthless and discomfrot in my own skin and just. nasty and numb but bad all over. okay im really not feeling great bout now. but thanks to all the above weve realised i have nobody to talk to whod talk me out of these feelings and comfort me (let alone if im capable as a person to accept that considering theyd have to be very convicing to get past me going “mhmmm but youre wrong” )

anyway this has been terribland i havent achieved anything but feelin kinda bad. we have covered that ive never had proper friendships and that might be detrimental to me ever forming the kind of close companionship i seem to be missing, however at least i can make easy friends briefly and as such know im not a terrible person thru and thru that people hate. i just dont know how to cross that nd not be horribly annoying or how to find those kind of people bc shit and bullshit. do i need it? no i guess ill be fine. would it make my life better and more worth it? probably. id hope so. i mean it seems pretty important in human existence for there to be so damn many songs and movies and aboslutely everything focused around it.

anyway. i know nobodys gonna finish reading this and i kinda hope i dont read back on this either. my cringey diary moments hidden under a readmore on tumblr. whats sadder.... tsk who wants to figure out how many words this all is?

mhmmmm mmm 7 pages on word and 6059 words. damn gurl. no FUCKIN WONDer nobody wants to talk to me about my thoughts and feelings when they just erupt. bc even by erupt i mean a mild discomfort that im trying to pin down to a cause and an actual feeling so and so unsuccessfully.

#tf when youre your own therapist #hah yeah thanks tumblr for being my digital diary #cringey enough and private enough it may as well never be read by anyone #but still if some crazy dumbass read it all theyd know me all too god damn well #but its not like...anyone ive mentioned will ever fucking read it. even consider to #aka #if you stumble past this #i guess you can assume its not abt you #ugh #this didnt even help that much #time to try option c #ignore everything and numb it with some rad youtbe videos for another 4 hrs and crash asleep at 5 am and everything continues to be bad #but like bad tomorrow #sorry this was a vent post #a very long one over 6000 words #i am SO sorry if youre on mobile and the readmore didnt work

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