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themculibrary · 11 months

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100k+ Masterlist 3

Links Last Checked: April 13th, 2024

part one, part two

Add It Up (ao3) - leftennant darcy/loki, jane/thor, pepper/tony E, 125k

Summary: Loki and Darcy have been dancing around each other ever since they were paired up as a team at S.H.I.E.L.D. by Nick Fury. When they both end up up in his apartment after saving the world, things finally hit the boiling point.

Ain't No Rest for the Wicked (ao3) - Kellyscams steve/bucky E, 305k

Summary: Steve's just moved back to Brooklyn after spending ten years in California trying to make a life for himself as an artist right after high school. Having escaped to the other side of the country following the sudden death of his mother, Steve feels guilty about abruptly leaving all his friends for so long, unfulfilled, scared and nervous about started college at his age, and unbelievably lonely. So when he meets Bucky Barnes, a young sex-worker, at a bar the night before his first day of classes, temptations might be too high to resist.

One night paying for sex with the most sinfully gorgeous guy is nothing to brag to the papers about, huh?

S'not like he'll ever see him again anyway...

...Right?

A Little Hiccup (ao3) - Crazysnakelover T, 101k

Summary: While Peter was out patrolling as Spiderman, an incident occurs and something happens to him. Now he has to go to Tony for help, and their relationship will never be the same.

Shameless Irondad and Spiderson.

Call Boy (ao3) - L1av steve/bucky E, 149k

Summary: Bucky Barnes was skyrocketing through promotions at his advertising firm. Now, a partnership position is opening and if Bucky wants to see his name on the building, he needs to impress not only Mr. Tony Stark, but his wife Pepper. To do this, it takes a team, a couple to be exact. Bucky asks his ex-wife Natasha to set him up with the perfect girl, blonde, tall, thick thighs and huge tits, but with the personality that’ll get Pepper all smiles.

What Bucky gets? Tall, blonde, thick thighs…and a penis. Can this male escort pretend to not only be Bucky’s fiance but also impress Pepper enough to win Bucky the promotion? Is he going to impress Bucky enough to get him to sleep with him?

Steve loves working for his tip.

Collar Full of Chemistry (ao3) - 2bestfriends steve/bucky E, 188k

Summary: Steve is very rich and desperate to feel in control of his life again after a recent divorce has left him feeling bitter and lonely. When he keeps crossing paths with a disaster twenty-something, an unconventional solution presents itself. Steve's always been one for following his instincts.

Bucky is very broke and can't seem to catch a break, especially after some asshole fires him for one fucking mistake. So of course, it follows that he should sign a contract agreeing to do everything and anything that same asshole wants for a whole year in exchange for a payout that could finally change his life for the better.

—

AKA a fantasy BDSM romance featuring heavy mutual pining, feelings denial, and enough kink to blackout a bingo card. We know what we're about, son.

Compression (ao3) - NamelessDragon bucky/loki M, 102k

Summary: Bucky's been in Wakanda a while, trying to keep his head down and learn to enjoy life again in the wake of the removal of Hydra's programming.

Then one day he falls down a hole into a secret lab.

Things don't get easier from there.

darkness will be rewritten (ao3) - princessironspider natasha/tony N/R, 104k

Summary: Peter is Tony’s biological child.

Natasha Romanoff has been married to Tony Stark secretly for years.

What would the movies be like if this were the case?

Dissonance (ao3) - stuckybarnes peter/wade M, 121k

Summary: Wherein Deadpool is reluctantly hired to protect Peter Parker from an organization out to hunt him, with varying success on both ends and quite a lot of feelings, revelations, and identity crises.

Don't Freak Out (ao3) - Sarah_Sandwich harley/peter T, 136k

Summary: Getting kidnapped isn’t usually the best way to start your summer (especially your last summer before college) but honestly? It kinda worked out.

G.I. Joes and 2AM Diners (ao3) - OhCaptainMyCaptain steve/bucky E, 100k

Summary: They look nothing like what they used to. Time and life have completely changed them. But as they sit there in silence, eating two halves of one cupcake, letting Brooklyn remind there where they came from, and enjoying a sky full of stars… They are those same little boys, somewhere deep down. For just a second, you’d be able to see them again.

And Bucky thinks to himself that maybe it’s little moments like these – fleeting as they may be – that remind him why life is still worth living.

if i'm evil, still you're right beside me (ao3) - lacunalady steve/bucky E, 105k

Summary: Steve Rogers didn't mean to stumble into mafia business that night--but stumble he did. After saving the life of infamous mob boss James Barnes, Steve finds himself trapped in a Brooklyn alleyway with a target on his back and nowhere to run. That is, of course, until Barnes offers him a deal; in return for saving his life, Barnes will offer him protection from Rumlow's retaliation. The twist? They have to convince the rival mob (and all of New York's juiciest tabloids) that they're madly in love.

Irreconcilable Differences (ao3) - determamfidd bruce/tony E, 133k

Summary: Bruce has been searching for a cure again, but Tony doesn’t think the green guy is a disease. Abruptly, he’s given everything he’s ever wanted, and… well, it seems it’s all more complicated than that.

FEATURING:

Hulk - Amateur Psychology Hour with Tony Stark - Clint as a troll - more Hulk - Bruce as an angry introspective mess - Hulk again - Steve as Team Dad - Nick Fury as Nick Fury - Hulk smash! - Tony as a caped crusader for Hulk Rights - Rules, Rules, Rules - Natasha as the boss of everything - the Experimental Method (by T. Hulk) - Thor as the God of Thunder and Frustration - Tony as the king of the oblivious idiots - Stealth Sass Master Banner …

…and a lot of figuring out who you really are.

And Hulk.

Lucky Thirteen (ao3) - agentsimmons bruce/tony N/R, 150k

Summary: Widowed father, and billionaire genius, Tony Stark and single father, and nuclear physicist, Bruce Banner meet at a science conference. One has six kids and the other has seven. So of course that's a recipe for disaster love in the making.

Omega Services: Rut Assistant (ao3) - roe87 steve/bucky E, 175k

Summary: Bucky and his family are in desperate need of money so he signs himself up to Omega Services, essentially agreeing to rent out his body to an alpha in return for a substantial amount of cash.

As it happens, male omegas are in high demand and Bucky gets assigned a cushy corporate gig. He is now the omega of some hotshot special agent in a secretive government agency.

Bucky doesn't know much about his new alpha, Commander Rogers, but that doesn't matter. Bucky's job and sole purpose now is to wait at home for his alpha with his legs spread, and make sure his alpha is satisfied.

Surely that won't be too difficult?

Sugar Sweet (ao3) - ColorCoated steve/bucky E, 173k

Summary: College Student Bucky finds himself immediately attracted to Steve. He knows that Steve's a bit older than him, and that Steve himself is put off by the age difference. . . But that doesn't stop Bucky from wanting to climb him like a tree. AKA a Sugar Daddy AU that no one was asking for.

The Simple Life (ao3) - howler32557038 steve/bucky E, 114k

Summary: "The simple life."

"You'll get there one day."

"I don't know. Family, stability...The guy who wanted all that went in the ice seventy-five years ago. I think someone else came out."

Bucky wants to be part of Steve's life. He wants to be an Avenger. He wants to be a good partner. Unfortunately, sometimes that means not telling Steve everything.

The Tears We Hold Back (ao3) - Scarlet_Black wanda/natasha M, 115k

Summary: After losing her brother and her home, Wanda moves in with the Avengers, where a friendship grows between her and Natasha - and eventually develops into something more. But life catches up with them when someone interferes with the missions Wanda goes on and Natasha finds out that the Red Room is still operating.

This is a slow burn, post AoU tower fic (that takes place in the Avengers compound).

til the clocks run down (ao3) - andibeth82 clint/laura/natasha M, 257k

Summary: "I think I do love her."

The words don’t shock her -- not really, not when she lets herself think about it. She does believe that Clint hadn't been sure about how deep his feelings for Natasha went the first time he admitted his attraction to her. But Laura would have been a fool to believe there wasn’t something more developing, especially after being around them in the few times they’d visited together since Clint’s confession. It had been easy to tell how their partnership was becoming comfortable, a relationship as worn and cozy as the one Laura’s built for herself with the man she’s loved for almost eight years.

[the beginning, the middle, and the journey home]

#themculibrary #marvel #mcu #masterlists #100k #100k masterlist

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mefocusuae · 3 months

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Videography Service Dubai: Bring Your Vision to Life

In this digital era, capturing life's special moments on camera is more important than ever. Whether it's a corporate event, wedding, or private party, a skilled videographer can help create memories that will last a lifetime. In Dubai, a city renowned for its opulence and luxury, locating a first-rate video studio is crucial to ensuring your vision is accomplished.

Here, we'll examine the many advantages of using an expert videography service in Dubai to improve your ride.

The Essence of Professional Videography

A good videographer does more than merely record events; it tells a story. To produce breathtaking and captivating videos, a talented Dubai videographer must be proficient in the details of lighting, audio, and camera lenses. They will diligently collaborate with you to understand your concept before using their imagination to translate it. This partnership guarantees that everything is considered, that the outcome appropriately represents your intentions and that it is predictable.

Why Choose a Videography Service in Dubai?

Skills and Experience: Dubai Local has become a household for some of the world's most talented and passionate videographers. They have worked on several projects, from well-known corporate brands to weddings, and they are professional at capturing the essence of each event. Their excitement enables them to anticipate and overcome potential obstacles, guaranteeing a successful and trouble-free shot.

State-of-the-art equipment: To create the most significant films, top-notch video editing studios in Dubai employ the newest generation of technology. Detailed pictures of the entire thing had to be taken using cutting-edge probes and high-resolution cameras. The Dubai photography company also invests in top-notch gear, giving the film a polished appearance and feel that distinguishes it from recently shot footage.

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Attention to Detail: A skilled videographer improves on the detail, ensuring every detail in your film is noticed. From lighting placement to sound design to framing and composition, every shot is carefully planned and executed, producing a polished and effortless break. The video's distinctive appeal works better when focusing on presenting the content more thoroughly.

Time-Saving: Working with experienced video editors in Dubai can help you save time and effort. Each step of the procedure is overseen, substantially enhancing all the best parts of the video process—from planning to executing and, finally, to conversion and delivery. You may now concentrate on different parts of the task or opportunity, knowing that your video elements are in capable hands.

Videography Services in Dubai: Tailored to Your Needs

The flexibility of Dubai's videography career is what draws people to it. Whether you need a quick and entertaining presentation video for your new business, a movie script promoting a life narrative, a movie wedding ceremony film recording the magic of your special day, or a professional photographer Dubai for high-quality stills, there is a service tailored to your needs.

Here are some popular groups:

Corporate Videography: Showcase your team, merchandise, and fundamental beliefs while presenting your logo in Dubai's vibrant business scene.

Event Videography: By taking a photo once the event is complete, you can ensure that people will remember your meeting, launch, or party dinner long after it ends.

Wedding Videography: By capturing your joy and excitement on camera, a professionally produced film may help you save the most important day of your life.

Real Estate Videography: Transform your portfolio with gorgeous photos by providing residences and workplaces with functional, high-quality lighting.

Social media: Make exciting videos for your social media accounts to gain followers and increase brand recognition.

Choosing the Right Videography Service in Dubai

When selecting a Dubai-based videographer, consider several criteria to guarantee the best possible outcome for your undertaking. Seek a videographer with a solid portfolio demonstrating their skill and background. Choosing a videographer affiliated with a reputable Dubai photography company can ensure high-quality and reliable service. Examining evaluations from previous customers might also reveal essential details about their professionalism.

Respect their communication skills and teamwork. A skilled videographer will listen to your ideas, work closely with you, and attempt to get as close to your vision as possible. They should be created with your demands and interests in mind yet still give you an original look.

Finally, re-negotiate the cost and delivery. Make sure you are aware of the services covered and the associated costs. This transparency helps to avoid any unpleasant shocks later on and guarantees that the program stays within your budget.

Conclusion

One of the most effective ways to provide and purchase memorable experiences is to use video to observe trends and predictability. Professional Videography Service Dubai can give you the know-how, tools, and imagination needed to create a fantastic film that lives up to your aspirations. Employing a professional videographer for any occasion results in a memorable and enjoyable video. They make sure that every little thing is carefully handled.

Are you ready to understand the dream and change the course of history? Schedule a meeting with Me Focus to begin a new cooperative project that will transform your company into a remarkable video experience that will resound in the city of dreams.

#dubai photography company #professional photographer dubai #videography service dubai

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j-graysonlibrary · 7 months

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Heartbeats; Paradise Chapter 4

Title: Heartbeats; Paradise

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 112K

Genres: Psychological thriller, drama, sci-fi, LGBT+

Available on: Kobo and my website

Synopsis: Melvin Hardy and Kade Axel appear to be a match made in heaven. After a meet-cute in the rain, the two quickly find themselves in a burgeoning, wholesome relationship.

Yet, things feel…off. It isn’t the ghosts of their pasts that resurface to test the strength of their partnership—no—it’s something nebulous. Something indescribable. Melvin can’t put his finger on it but, the more time he spends with Kade, the more he starts to wonder what’s real and what’s pure fiction.

Full chapter 4 under the cut:

Chapter Four:

Each date has been something poetic and pulled straight from a movie or storybook. I can’t wait for each moment with Kade and he’s about all I think of. When I’m not at work, I’m either at his sister’s café or he’s at my apartment with me. It took no time at all for me to get used to all of his little quirks and I know we could live together with ease. He knows this too but I think he’s too worried about his sister’s reaction if he were to suggest moving in.

Then again, we haven’t exactly talked about it. Not directly at least.

I know Starla is protective over her little brother though she seems to have a soft spot for me as well. She almost always gives me something for free when I visit the café and she continues to urge Kade to see me.

On my side, there are no barriers. I am ready to accept Kade into my apartment at the drop of a hat. Already, I’ve begun to stock some of his favorite foods and a pack of travel sized toiletries lives in the bathroom for him to use when he stays the night. I have plenty of room in the closet for his clothes and, if he needs more, I’ll throw out whatever I need to.

It’s no problem for me.

I’ll do whatever it takes to make Kade happy.

At the moment, he’s occupying my couch and looking, frustrated, at his laptop. I know midterms are approaching and he’s been studying a lot more than usual for them. And the fast tapping on the keyboard tells me he’s probably working on an essay.

I watch his expression, unchanging, as he types with a fury. Whatever he’s writing about, he holds no love for it. It’s strictly obligation.

By the stiffness of his shoulders, I bet he’ll be sore later. He needs to relax. Take a break even. Though I suspect he’ll reject the advice until after he’s finished.

I cross my arms and wonder what I can do for him. I run through a mental list of options before settling on a rather cliché but effective strategy.

Food.

Since we started dating, I’ve been cooking a lot more frequently. I’ve gotten a lot better at it too and I’ve learned a few new recipes to appeal to my boyfriend’s specific tastes.

One of his favorite dishes of late is udon soup so I get to work on starting it. It’ll be a nice surprise—or so I hope—and it’ll get his eyes off of that laptop screen for a few minutes.

As I’m chopping onions, I hear his sweet voice call out to me. “What’s a word that means destiny? Not fate but…”

I set the knife down and think. Not fate, I repeat mentally and try and fish for other synonyms. “Serendipity?” I try, shouting back over my shoulder.

“Ummm…I don’t think that’s what I’m looking for…”

I think more. “Kismet?”

“Definitely not.”

I laugh silently and to myself while returning to the onions. My mind is dried up and I shrug though I doubt he’s looking at me. “I’ve got nothing left, Kade. Sorry.”

A pause forms between us and I focus on the food. I have the stock ready so I just need to add the noodles and it shouldn’t take too much longer. There are some fishcakes I can add as well as eggs to poach in the broth (Kade’s favorite part) but, other than that, there won’t be any more bells and whistles. I hope it’s satisfactory.

Then I hear him again, mumbling this time. “Maybe it was serendipity.”

A smile settles on my face as I ask, “Writing about us?”

He laughs. “No.”

I knew the answer already, of course, but I do think we fit the criteria of serendipity. Everything about our meeting feels predestined and I can’t imagine a scenario where we didn’t meet eventually. If not on that rainy Thursday then some other time, in some other way.

And we’d be right here, no matter what.

There is something immensely comforting about that thought.

I prepare drinks as the eggs poach and I set the table quietly and without detection. He must be in the final throes of his paper with how concentrated he appears. It’s quite endearing, really, and I keep getting distracted by his serious face.

With the bowls on the table, I clear my throat. When that doesn’t work, I walk closer. “Got a minute?” I ask, casting my shadow over him.

Kade snaps up to meet my eyes, clearly surprised to see me so close. “Oh…what’s up?” His work mode is very intense and, while I do find him cute no matter what, I feel slightly neglected when I’m not the center of his attention.

To be fair, I did warn him of my jealousy.

“I made your favorite,” I say, hoping to ignite some spark of life back into him.

And, to my sheer delight, Kade sits up and closes his laptop in a flash. “Udon?!”

I nod and do nothing to hold back my smile. To see him so excited for my cooking makes all the hard work and preparation worth it. I can see myself doing this every day until our golden years—never growing bored of the same old same old.

Kade hurries to the table and I pull out his chair for him, pushing him in once he’s sat. I then take my spot across from him and watch eagerly as he takes his first bite.

“So good,” he says as soon as he can. “I needed this.”

“I know,” I respond and bask in the feelings of pride and joy. “After dinner and after you’re done with your paper, I can give you a massage. I noticed how tense your shoulders are while you write.”

Kade’s spoon stops halfway to his mouth and his brows turn up, suggesting he might cry at any second. Despite his proclamation that he’s overly emotional, I have yet to see him shed a tear aside the time we watched a particularly sad movie together.

“You’d do that?” he asks with a tremor in his voice.

“Of course.” It’s no big deal for me—not just because I am glad to do whatever Kade needs but a massage is also a great excuse to touch him. And the sounds he makes when he’s really enjoying a rubdown aren’t bad either.

Kade smiles and drops his spoon back into the soup. “You’re so sweet, Mel. What did I do to deserve you?”

“That’s my line—I’ve got to do what I can to keep up and earn my spot beside you.” And I mean it. Kade’s mere presence is like the sun to me. Without enough of him in the day, I grow weary and depressed. I can’t imagine life without him now that I know what it’s like with him in it.

He blushes and looks down to his dinner. “…You’ve already earned it, you know? You don’t have to do anything special.”

I shake my head. “I want to then.”

Kade and I finish our dinner, sharing fleeting glances that are full of unspoken emotion and a lingering intent. I feed off it and can’t wait until he’s done with his school work so we can get a little closer. There is a magnetism between us and I don’t know if I can resist it for much longer.

I leave the dishes to soak in the sink and stand behind the couch as Kade types for his life. He is going a mile a minute but I can sense the antsy energy around him as he’s just as eager to spend time with me as I am with him.

As he’s finishing, I reach down and clamp my hands around his shoulders, forcing them down and more relaxed. I can feel the muscles straining under my touch and I worry about the long term damage he’s doing to himself by stressing so much.

Eventually, I do manage to get him to loosen up some and I push along the natural lines of the muscles and pull a long, appreciative moan from my boyfriend. I smile and focus on that same spot, pushing again and again to try and elicit the same response.

Kade flips his laptop closed and sets it aside on the coffee table. “Done,” he breathes and leans away from me but only to turn on the couch, giving me an open invitation to join him.

I sit beside him and he turns away from me, clearly still interested in the massage. It’s fair as I was only able to reach his shoulders from my post behind the couch. So, I dig into his back, mapping out the locked in stress and pushing it out, one swipe at a time.

He lets out sighs and moans with each movement and I can’t help the direction my mind travels in. Since we started dating, we have done little more than kiss and hold one another. It’s still early, I know, and obviously if Kade doesn’t want to then we won’t but…

Perhaps now is the time to mention it. The idea of saying something so serious is daunting, however, and I’m not sure I can bring myself to. So far, Kade has been the one mostly leading the relationship. All I’ve done is ask him out in the first place.

My hands rise back to his shoulders, squeezing and pressing. They dip forward, sliding against his collar bone and the tops of his pecs. There is far more tension there than I anticipated and I pull him back, closer toward me.

Kade’s back meets my front and he limply lies against me as I drive my fingers along the long neglected muscles. I can tell it feels good as he leans his head back onto my shoulder and lets out a long, breathy sigh. His adams apple bobs and my eyes stick on it while my hands operate with a mind of their own.

I don’t even realize what I’m doing until Kade’s brow pinches together and his lips part, a gasp passing through them. “Mel,” he moans and squirms against me.

My eyes have to be forcefully peeled away but I need to know what my hand is up to. I look, in shock, at the placement of my fingers on Kade’s chest. I really hadn’t meant to but I am circling a most sensitive area and it is clearly affecting my boyfriend quite a bit.

“I should have asked,” I say on reflex and as a belated apology.

Kade’s breath is shaking but he grasps my hand with his own and opens his eyes to meet mine in a heavy and mesmerizing gaze. “Ask me now.”

I can ask more than just this, I think and gulp in turn. It could break our perfect relationship but it could also enhance it if Kade is on the same wavelength as me. So long as we move in step with each other and retain this beautiful, domestic purity, I can only see us falling further into bliss.

“Can I touch you?” I ask and wait for his response. When he nods, I return my fingers to that spot, over his shirt, and rub against it with more intent than before.

Kade instantly moans and throws his head back against me, as if it’s the most pleasure he’s ever experienced. If our beginning is this intense, I fear more but I also crave it.

“Can I do more than just kiss you?” I boldly follow up before I capture his lips with mine. There is less precision and more wetness than usual. The smacks of our lips echo in the room and it sends a spike of desire through my being.

“Yes,” Kade answers with a husky voice I can certainly get used to.

We return to our kiss, imperfect and passionate and my hand travels from his chest to his stomach. I nearly stop as nerves seize me but with some prodding from Kade, I am able to breach one of our major barriers. My fingers slip under his pants and caress the soft, supple skin that has, until now, been forbidden to me.

Each new inch is beloved and I lose myself in the sensation. What more could Kade show me? What more newness can he make me experience?

I can’t believe this is real.

He begins to breathe heavier, my touches sending him to cloud nine, and I keep my eyes on his face. Those small changes in his expression are all new to me and I drink them each in greedily. I want to be the only one to see this face—to see these vulnerable moments.

I hold him closer as I bring him to the edge of paradise but the moment can’t last forever. He lets out one last moan and his body sinks and grows heavy. I want to repeat the process again but I allow him rest as I know he needs it.

Instead, I pepper his face with kisses and wait for him to rejoin me on earth.

“Mel…” he speaks my name as if I am the only person in the world he needs.

“Yes?” I cradle him in my arms, wanting nothing more than to stay here for an eternity.

“I love you.” His words are deep enough but, combined with the piercing look he shoots my way, I am completely captured in his spell. He could ask anything of me and I would oblige in this moment.

I say the only thing I can think and the only thing that makes sense to reply with, “I love you too, Kade.”

We kiss and it’s so similar to our last kiss that I wonder if we’ll repeat the fit of passion all over again. He pulls back some and takes some more, longer breaths and I give him the space to do it.

As I watch him, unblinking, I have another powerful thought that I can’t keep locked away. “Move in with me?”

His blue-green eyes widen and he looks to me in shock. “You mean it…?”

“Yes,” I answer before he’s even finished. I can’t wait. I can’t stand not having him around every second. I can’t stand not sleeping next to him every night any longer.

Kade’s eyes become even brighter somehow. “I’d love to.”

We hold each other and kiss once more and this time I don’t think we’ll stop.

#heartbeats paradise #my novel #my writing

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ithisatanytime · 9 months

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Ballad of Buster Scruggs - Cool Clear Water

even though the cohens are hollywood jews i like them quite a lot, because in my view their movies are from the perspective of hollywood jews and their bemusement at goyish behavior, i dont mind this at all actually in fact i quite like it because they are being honest about their perspective in a way, and theirs more than a hint of admiration for goyishness at least in their early work specifically raising arizona. ive talked before about how i felt now one really understood the ballad of buster scruggs, its a more bitter jewish take on goys and particularly the old west but i still dont mind it even if i disagree with the premise. the main underlying theme is that of the unreliable narrator especially when it comes to the historical west. the structure of the film is off putting and they knew it would be, had the ballad of buster scruggs been at the end of the collection of vignettes they would have one an oscar but they but it in the beginning deliberately because the whole thing is meant to be an ACTUAL deconstruction of the western, not like clint eastwoods unforgiven which claims to be, i love unforgiven but its just a great cowboy flick with a very advanced antihero protagonist its not really a deconstruction though it aspires to be in some places it ultimately fails at its aim and glorifies the violence its supposedly meant to be admonishing, everyone quotes the speech from the end of the movie about how hes william money and hes killed women and children and everything that moves not with scorn but admiration. the ballad of buster scruggs truely IS a deconstructed western, its base elements pulled apart and separated from each other. the two most important vignettes are the ballad of buster scruggs of course and the latter stage coach caravan vignette, they are the same story, or at least the two main characters are the same. the first vignette is a western with all the pageantry and deceit and slapstick that a western writer would add after the facts have had time to be forgotten a bit, while the stagecoach story is told mostly straightforward except for one part. at one point, a woman is having an issue with her dog, i forget its been years since i saw the movie, and one of the cowboys the kinder of the two likes her but the dog is causing problems for the whole caravan, her dog goes missing or something and you hear a shot, followed by barking, another shot and then silence off in the distance, the kind cowboy tells the woman he saw her dog but it ran off, this is a lie and its the most important part of the vignette, he shot her dog but lied and said it ran off in order to make her feel better. this young kindly cowboy wants to quit watching over caravans as he relates to his older much more quiet partner who doesnt seem to care much for the woman either way but he does intimate that hed like their partnership to continue. the next part of the vignette is entirely from the older cowboys point of view, and i think is entirely fabricated, we the audience see the events as they supposedly happen, the woman thinks she hears her lost dog barking from over some hills, her and the older cowboy go to investigate and are attacked by over a dozen indians, he gives her a gun and tells her if things get bad ie he dies, to off herself rather than be taken by the indians, a rediculous fight ensues where the older cowboy who was formerly quiet and reserved is suddenly a loud boisterous gunfighter and killing injuns hand over fist! but at one point it looks bad for him and he has to play dead to fool the chief before he cunningly tricks him and kills him to but when he checks on the girl shes killed herself already fearing the worst. the vignett ends with the older cowboy walking over the hill again and the young cowboy is down at the bottom presumably expecting an explanation. the explanation he intends to give is the one we were both shown, but we know that the young cowboy knows she didnt go over that hill looking for her barking dog because he himself shot it and lied to her about it, so he will know right away the older cowboy just took her off somewhere and killed her to preserve their partnership and his way of life, what do you suppose happens next? well the cohens showed you in a over the top nickel western manner in the opening vignette, only this time just like he said, buster is wearing the black hat and the young gun wearing a white one. in the bank robber vignette, the bank robber is hung twice, the first time hes meant to be hung hes literally saved at the last moment by a random pack of indians again! they literally ride up to him and WINK at him before letting him go, only to be recapture, the second time hes on the gallows he turns to a nervous man ready to be hanged next to him and we get the famous meme “first time?” and it ends, presumably it ends just before he tells a big fat fib about indians just like the other guy in the other vignette. the idea being what we know about the west is largely fabrications, and indians tend to show up when the narrator is unreliable. there are other supporting details in the other vignettes but those are the big ones.

#youtube

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drivelikeaminister · 1 year

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Boundaries are Good

Last week I posted about tinted windows and how putting up barriers between us and another person means communication and relationships are strained. That is true, however, it is also very important and healthy to have boundaries between us and others. I think an illustration from The Three Little Pigs illustrates the different needs very well. I first came across the illustration in this great article by Rosemary Donahue, thank you!

In the story each pig builds a house out of different materials: straw, wood and bricks. There is a parallel here between the materials used and personal boundaries. We can have permeable, weak boundaries like the first pig - which let in pretty much anything and topple when pushed. We can instead, set up stick boundaries which are more sturdy than straw but still quite permeable but will eventually succumb to pressure. Or we can build our boundaries out of brick and keep everything/everyone out - save what is desired to be let in out or through windows, doors and a chimney. We can even go one step further with an imaginary fourth pig, who makes a house of metal sheeting with no windows, doors or ventilation. This sealed metal house would not let anything dangerous in, but it also wouldn’t let in anything beneficial like air, food, water or friendship.

The thing with boundaries is that they need to be healthy: neither too strict nor too permeable. If we have loose, permeable personal boundaries, we are likely to lose ourselves in others. Being too permeable means always reacting to how other people are living their lives. If we let ourselves become dependent on what others think of us, we can’t help but get hurt. Actions and reactions are fused to other’s actions and whims. When we are fused we have a poorly differentiated sense of self. We depend so heavily on the actions and thoughts of other people that our ideas, thoughts and identities become morphed and manipulated. The boundaries between self and other break down and we become a series of reactions rather than our true selves.

Going too far - the example of heavily tinted windows, or the 4th pig with a hermetically sealed house - results in aloofness, being so separate and disinterested in any personal interaction that we lose touch with all. If we hold to extremely strict and impermeable boundaries we are cut off from community, we lose any benefit and partnership of relationship. Extremely rigid and impenetrable boundaries is when we put up a metaphorical wall and don’t let anyone in; when we refuse any relationship and are unwilling to share or connect.

The goal is to be in the middle, having strong boundaries but also knowing where to put the proverbial windows and doors, deciding who and what gets to cross your thresholds. Because they are your thresholds, you get to decide your own boundaries and what and who can pass. Self differentiation is the middle path: defining our identity separately from others, having boundaries. It means taking the time and energy to figure out who we are, and to mindfully define ourselves apart from others. Healthier boundaries allow us to be ourselves, have our own ideas and thoughts. Good boundaries mean that we don’t loose the existence of an “I” within a “we”. Living a life with boundaries is a life where you are true to yourself and still able to have interpersonal interactions. It is a balance between between aloofness and dependency.

But boundaries change, thresholds can be added or removed. Sometimes a bridge is better than a fence, and fences can be shifted, bridges made and destroyed. We see boundaries and changes in them specifically in unions of love. In many wedding and joining ceremonies the couple is reminded that in their new life, “I” becomes “we” and “mine” becomes “ours”. This is when two are joined to become one... but which one? Who, or what, is this new being which buds from a union of two individuals? The tension remains. I want to go to the movies, my spouse wants to stay at home. Do we do different things or do we do something together? Are my circle of friends and my partner’s circle of friends the exact same? It is good to think in terms of “us” and “we”, but couples, and all of us, need to be aware that “I” and “me” still exist.

Paul Tillich, a Lutheran minister and theologian in the mid 1900s said it as follows, “What is most characteristically human about us is the tension between the desire to be ‘free’ -- self-identifying and self-choosing -- and to be ‘related’ -- to love and be loved.”

This is a fundamental task in emotional growth: finding a balance between separateness and closeness; knowing who we are, standing up for ourselves and our beliefs, while still being in relationship with others, giving and receiving love and support. Being close and being separate, having roots and having wings, they pull in different directions and create tension. The important thing is how we manage that tension. We are best served by not being too separate and isolating ourselves, and not being too close and losing ourselves.

The message is simple and difficult. Keep boundaries to ensure you are taking care of yourself and others. Be careful about your open places, those thresholds where people are psychically or emotionally let in. And be careful about what is closed off, don’t seal everything off, or you’ll miss out on relationships and love. Keep the permeability and thresholds, shift boundaries if you need to and can do it safely.

“Boundaries should be firm enough so that your emotional and physical well-being and safety are protected, but permeable enough to allow for intimacy, love, and connection with others.” - Psychotherapist Joyce Marter

#boundaries #paul tillich #psychotherapy #three little pigs #fairy tales #intimacy #distance #enmesh #safety #threshold #relationships #barriers #me vs we #marriage

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absentcaryatid · 2 years

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Kiss it Better

A LA POEM Kihun fanfic by AbsentCaryatid

Living with the friend you have a crush on is made far more difficult by Kihun's habit of platonically kissing your minor injuries that seem to occur very frequently.

1.6K words, Content note: teen rating, gender neutral reader, minor injuries briefly mentioned, food

Kihun was so easy to like and that was the problem. His quick laugh and demonstrative behavior had you falling for him quickly once assigned seats side by side in chorus. Your senior year of high school had gone quickly as you pined for your newfound friend, with Kihun none the wiser.

Things only got worse in college. His musical aptitude was far greater than yours, and while you ended up at the same university, your studies led elsewhere with no classes in common. You still saw him often though since roommate after roommate tired of the way he would start singing unintentionally. Kihun was never quiet about it despite his otherwise polite nature. You charitably saw it as his dedication to music and suggested he move in with you after the next break. After some initial hesitation, he took you up on the offer.

It was not that Kihun was a bad roommate, in fact you loved sporadically hearing his angelic voice. Even deep in study, Kihun's music would reach your ears and you would look up from the textbooks for a much-needed break. Listening with your eyes closed, you could not help but relax and smile. The effects would linger making homework easier and you could not imagine ever living apart from him again. There were other ways Kihun won your heart as well, you were particularly taken by the affectionate way he would grab your arm while laughing at a joke.

It also felt good to have someone to cook for. Something as simple as pigs in a blanket was met with rave reviews since his favorite food was the similar spiral wrapped corn dogs he liked to get from the rest area when traveling between Seoul and your mutual hometown of Busan. Kihun was always appreciative, and it charmed you the way he would bounce with excitement whenever you announced the evening menu. Often he would be at your side, ready to help taste as you went along. The recipes were mostly familiar ones, so the assistance was never needed, but you loved his warm company and never considered chasing him away.

Another benefit was the shared interest in dramas. Kihun had introduced you to one of his favorites, I am Sorry, I Love You, and that tearjerker led you to recommend the Shah Rukh Khan version of Devdas. It only made sense you'd hold hands for comfort at the tense parts or fall into each other's side sniffling. He also loved fantasies and romantic comedies. Next he shared My Love From the Star leading to your choice of Paheli which he enjoyed as well. Nights by the television then became a frequent routine that was a highlight of your week. Sad moments often led to Kihun clinging, which you did not object to at all.

Kihun must have agreed the two of you were a good partnership because he renewed the joint lease each year, remaining at your side despite a further commute to the next school he attended to continue his music studies. You certainly did not mind the singing, and he was an exemplary housemate in all ways but one. If you were romantic partners you would have found it endearing the way he offered to 'kiss it better' any time you knocked your hand or bruised a shin. It meant nothing of course. It was just caring and effusive Kihun being himself. You were weak enough not to tell him how affected you were while he applied a bag of frozen dumplings followed by a distracting movie cuddled closely on the couch.

The first time it had happened was way back in high school. Swearing lightly under your breath, you winced at a paper cut from some choral sheet music you had picked up. Leaning over with concern, Kihun kissed it better before you could object due to shyness. He was apologetic at first, mentioning he had picked up the habit comforting his young cousins while babysitting.

The smile on your face confirmed he had not overstepped your boundaries as a friend. From then on it had become automatic, going both ways, though you were by far the clumsier when compared to your graceful housemate. Over the years Kihun kissed bee stings, cabinet bumps on the top of your head, scrapes, blisters, and plenty of other minor injuries. If you had not felt secure in skillfully hiding your crush, you would have feared it looked like fishing for affection at the rate you needed tending to. Fortunately, he never seemed to mind the caring but purely platonic gesture.

Life went on while quietly longing for your friend. Kihun dated sporadically, never bringing anyone home or staying the night. He always said his heart was elsewhere, which you understood having seen his commitment to his studies. The practice room was Kihun's true love if the amount of time he spent there was any indication. He took all critiques of his voice to heart and further crafted it into an extraordinary instrument worthy of a global stage.

You were not the only one who thought so. You had jumped for joy along with him when Kihun learned he had passed the audition for Phantom Singer 3. That led to forming LA POEM with three other lovely men you got to know a little. Chaehoon, Sunghoon, and Minseong each had traits that would have gotten your interest if your heart was not already hopelessly fixed.

With a busy practice and performance schedule, you saw Kihun less and less, and you felt his absence hard. It was the closest you ever came to telling him how much he truly meant to your happiness. Of course, now that he had fans screaming for him, you knew it was far too late. Kihun could have his pick of partners, and probably would be moving out so he could enjoy some of the benefits of that fame in the privacy of a place of his own.

Kihun had never said anything, but you were resigned that moving on seemed a certainty at this point. Trying to enjoy any remaining time together, you planned a special dinner to mark the occasion of LA POEM's first tour of the country. Aggressively cutting vegetables to work out your feelings, you worked hard to create a variety of gimbap for him, including his favorite- the egg showcasing version gyori gimbap. The prep work and emotional strain had you tired out, so it was no surprise that by dinnertime your weariness caused you to bite your lip while eating, causing an audible complaint.

Habitually, Kihun offered to kiss it to make it better without knowing the location of your pain. He then blanched at the automatic wording once he saw you holding a hand to your mouth while grimacing.

You were too busy fishing an ice cube from the water glass to notice his face. Years of pent-up longing came to the surface while your inhibitions were lowered by the long day. “I've always wished you would.”

His breath caught. Kihun asked, “Are you sure? If you let me kiss you romantically, I don't think I'd ever stop.”

Your eyes went wide at the implication of the conversation. Had Kihun been attracted to you too over all the years together? A response again slipped out without a thought, “I wouldn't ever want you to stop.”

The effect of your admission on Kihun was immediate. He closed the distance between you slowly and placed the gentlest of kisses on your sore lip.

Given the circumstances of the recent injury, one single kiss was enough for now and you smiled tenderly, the look matching his own. “It is not all better, but it is close.”

“Has romance has been an option all this time? We didn't talk about it, but when you never dated I concluded you were aromantic. I never believed you could want me despite desiring that very much. Wanting to be respectful, I never brought it up.” Kihun took one hand in his and looked at you with nothing but love. “All this time, I have not just been practicing music. It is more that I cannot help singing love songs around you.” His grin told you Kihun picked up the adoration in your own tearing up eyes. “I'd like to kiss you again, but we can come back to that after you have healed. Up for another drama tonight instead?”

Something familiar was just what you needed after such an emotional moment. Once dinner was over you brought plates of dessert to the living room. As Kihun searched for mutual favorite Crash Landing On You, one of his arms was slung around your shoulder while your head rested against him. The closeness reminded you to mention a fact you had encountered online. “You know, the leads fell in love in real life after spending so much time together on this show.”

With a smile Kihun admitted he could see how something like that could happen. Again the hint he already loved you warmed your heart. Turning to face Kihun again, you pointed to your lips and asked him to keep working on your minor ache. Happily taking up the challenge, Kihun did indeed kiss it better until plans for the drama were long forgotten. In later days you would begin the talk of relationship labels and hopes for a shared future, but for now truly romantic kisses were enough to start.

Masterlist

#LA POEM #Park Kihun #kpop fanfic #kpop fic #diverseinsertknet #gender neutral reader #cross posted on ao3

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lawandorderimagines · 3 years

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Word of Advice (Elliot Stabler x female reader)

“Denise, what are you doing here?” You weren’t expecting to see your mom and ten year old daughter at the precinct, though you told them that you’d meet them back at your apartment for dinner (if you were lucky enough to wrap up this case). She was carrying a large plastic bag. “Well, I had a feeling that you would be getting off late so I decided to bring dinner to you. Is there a place where we can sit?” You were about to take them to the break-room when Elliot walked in.

“Hey Y/N, we have a lead out in Staten Island—” He stopped short when he noticed the two unfamiliar people. “Oh, Denise, Lily, this is my new partner, Elliot Stabler. Elliot, this is my mother-in-law Denise and my daughter Lily.” They shook hands and Elliot still looked shocked because you didn’t look old enough to be the mother of a fifth grader. You’d only transferred from Cyber Crimes almost a month ago, and you were still getting your bearings, getting your feet wet, so you didn’t really have enough time to tell him your whole life story. He only knew that you were married with a daughter.

“It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.” They exchanged pleasantries with Elliot talking about your progression in the field over the last few weeks, your husband and his profession and how long you’ve been married before you really did have to follow that lead in Staten Island; you hugged Denise and kissed Lily on her cheek. “Don’t even touch that DS until all of your homework is done and lay your clothes out for tomorrow, okay? I love you.” You kissed her again on the top of her head as she replied, “I love you too.” As they were walking out the door, you peeked in the bag and saw a Tupperware container of last night’s leftover lasagna with a fork wrapped in a napkin along with a large chocolate brownie wrapped in aluminum foil; Denise always made the best brownies, which were made with espresso powder.

“I didn’t think you had a fifth grader. When you said you had a daughter, I imagined a toddler or at the very least a kindergartener.” You broke off half a piece of the brownie before giving him the other half wrapped in foil. “I understand. Lily’s dad and I were young when we had her, seventeen, eighteen years old, but we’ve known each other our whole lives.” After you put your food in the breakroom fridge, the two of you headed out to Staten Island where you told him everything, and he told you that he and his wife had their first daughter when they were around that age. “Families trading shifts to watch the baby so you could go to work and school. I worked at Hollister and [husband’s name] worked at the soft pretzel place.”

You weren’t expecting to find common ground with Elliot, especially this early into your partnership, but it was nice to talk to someone who understood what you went through as a teen parent. “We weren’t even dating when I got pregnant, we were just best friends, but there were rumors about us at school. He had just broken up with his girlfriend who didn’t like me at all. Well, we went to see a movie, made out, and making out led to… Lily.” Elliot stopped at a red light as he took in your words. “Sounds a hell of a lot better than mine. I met Kathy at a beach party, we got drunk, got married and nine months later, Maureen happened.” He made a left turn to the exit that would lead to Staten Island.

“Everything seemed to work out for you in the end. You guys are still married and have more kids so you must’ve done something right in all these years.” He only laughed and turned on his left turn signal. “Our marriage is definitely not perfect, we were almost divorced. She took the kids, moved in with her mother.” “So what made you get back together?” Elliot smiled and slowed down at a stop sign. “Eli happened. We were sleeping together during the separation and Kathy being pregnant pretty much stopped the divorce proceedings. History basically repeated itself.”

You really hoped none of that happens to you; [your husband’s name] is such a big part of your life, you’d grown up together, conquered parenthood together. The both of you spent your teenage years and a good chunk of your twenties pretending that you were simply co-parenting, so it was inconceivable to even think of divorcing. “Any advice?” The both of you were now in Staten Island, not too far from the witness’s home. “The job we do…it really takes a toll on you, and sometimes that carries over into your personal life, makes you a little paranoid. Sometimes it even makes you not want to drop your kid off at school. And then, when you get home at night, you can’t exactly talk to your spouse about how your day went, so you don’t talk about it all because you don’t want to give them nightmares. You close yourself off from your family, and that’s what caused my separation. So what I’m saying is, don’t make this job your entire life. Don’t close yourself off to your family, and know when it’s time to walk away.”

You wondered if this is what happened with his last partner, that she knew when it was time to leave, but you didn’t want to upset him by saying it out loud. Elliot pulled up to a house and stopped on the curb, turned the car off and he looked at you, really looked at you. “I mean it, don’t let the job consume you. When things get too heavy and the Captain tells you to go home, don’t fight him on it.” You nodded and the two of you got out of the car. “Good to know.”

#elliot stabler x reader #elliot stabler imagine #law and order: svu #elliot stabler

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whoree321 · 3 years

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the bad batch + what romance/rom com movies they watch with you

each of the bad batch x gn!reader

ok first and foremost i really truly believe to the pits of my soul that every single one of these fuckos loves romances and you cannot under any circumstances change my mind

ALSO it’s a gender neutral reader except kinda in echo’s theres like a very brief quote regarding breasts but like i still think even that is pretty gender neutral tbh

so anyway

Hunter: Pretty Woman

this is not the first time that i have publicly declared that i think hunter has a deep rooted connection to the movie pretty woman and it will not be the last

first of all this movie is incredibly soothing to hunters overwhelming savior complex

second of all hunter is literally richard gere (debonaire but emotionally distant gentleman that learns to love) and julia roberts (hooker with a heart of gold) at the same time

he was a little skeptical the first time you put it on but he instantly fell in love with it

the humor, the sensuality, the class divide, the glamour, the unconventional cinderella story of it all. it just really butters his bread

after the first time, when you suggest watching a movie and you pick this one he’ll act very aloof about it (“whatever you want cyar’ika, it doesn’t matter to me”) but secretly he’s really really happy bc it’s one of his favorites (you def know this and def pick it more often)

he absolutely hates the scene when stucky the lawyer hits vivian. like it doesn’t matter how many times he watches it he will fully turn his head away from the screen and say “I don’t like this part” and when it’s over he nuzzles a little closer into you and very tenderly kisses your forehead

he loves the soundtrack too. like he fully exposes how much he likes the movie when you catch him singing or humming “pretty woman” or “it must have been love” absently to himself (you kept it to yourself for a while but eventually you just had to tease him about it. he just smiled a little sheepishly and admitted he liked the songs before promptly changing the subject)

hunter also lowkey definitely wants to recreate the ending where richard gere shows up to her apartment in the white limo with you bc he thinks it’s such a sweet gesture and he wants to treat you like royalty

Crosshair: 10 Things I Hate About You

if there’s one thing about crosshair it’s that he’s a sucker for the enemies to lovers genre

maybe its just him projecting (spoiler alert it most certainly is) but he really enjoys watching the drama conflama of a miserable bastard be tricked into love

and really that’s the true essence of 10 Things I Hate About You

he will grumble and bitch and moan about not wanting to watch a ‘chick flick’ when you put it on, but 15 minutes in and he’s hooked

he has strong negative opinions on literally every single character except for kat and patrick

(crosshair really really wants to think he’s patrick but when it comes down to it he is katarina stratford in every single possible way)

he doesn’t say a word throughout the entire movie but you can tell when he’s annoyed at like bianca or cameron or joey bc he will openly scoff at them

will absolutely hum along in your ear during the “can’t take my eyes off you” scene and make out with you during the paintball scene

(seriously he wants to be patrick verona so bad)

when it’s over and you ask him what he thought he’ll roll his eyes and say “i guess it could have been worse” but his little smirk let’s you know he enjoyed it a lot more than he’s willing to admit

Tech: 50 Shades of Grey

ok hear me out on this one

tech is a huge movie talker. like subtitles are a non-negotiable if you wanna be able to take in any of the movies dialogue bc tech is most likely gonna make commentary over it the whole time

this makes him absolutely indescribably so much fun to watch bad/corny movies with

he will go off about EVERYTHING. the plot, the dialogue, the acting, the costuming, the music, the production quality. nothing and no one is safe. whether you just enjoy letting him talk at you or you join in on the roast, cheesy movies are a hoot between you two

and honey. 50 shades is one of THE cheesiest movies ever

you and tech will literally spend the entire duration of the movie tearing it to shreds

and the thing is tech is a very sarcastic, funny guy when he wants to be (and when it comes to you he definitely wants to be) so by the end of it he will have you in absolute stitches from laughing at the ridiculousness of both the movie and him

with any of the other batchers watching a movie like this either turns into a shy, slightly awkward experience (wrecker, echo) or an incorrigibly horny experience (crosshair, hunter)

but in this context tech literally has no shame or squeamishness about sexual things (why should he it’s a natural biological process?) so to yall the sex stuff is just another thing to roast

literally christian grey could be fully tying dakota johnson down and flogging her and tech will be like “in the last 3 minutes they have panned up to her nipples 4 times. this is criminally shoddy cinematography”

even tho he’s busy giving a detailed play by play critique, he never fails to keep some sort of physical contact with you (wrapping an arm around you and running his hand up and down your skin, playing with your fingers or your hair) so you know he’s enjoying spending this time with you despite his nasty words about the movie

also 1000% after you watch it tech will do extensive research on the ins and outs of bdsm and will have lots of hypotheses he wants to test out (as long as you’re willing and able ofc) ;)))

Wrecker: 13 Going On 30

of all the bad batch members, wrecker is the only one who unabashedly loves any movie that could be considered a chick flick

like he doesn’t even try to hide it or act like he’s too masculine for it. he loves romance and he’s proud of it

this man will have full marathons with you. rom coms, regular roms, tragic roms, hallmark roms, you name it and he’s game

his absolute favorite tho is 13 Going On 30

i feel like he has a huge soft spot for childhood best friends to lovers stories like he finds that type of lifelong partnership so endearing (and he loves to live vicariously through jenna since that type of romance was obviously never an option for him)

wrecker is also very childlike at heart and i think the idea of a 13 year old sweetheart trapped inside the body of a 30 year old cut throat magazine exec is so amusing to him (and maybe makes him feel just a little bit represented in the media)

he is definitely the type to completely engulf you in a cuddle for the entirety of the movie and he DEFINITELY cries into your shoulder at matty’s wedding when jenna is crying on the stoop with her dream house

he wants to try razzles so bad. like so bad. i think if he ever came across them somewhere he would barter at least one of his brothers for them

wrecker really just loves love and watching movies about it just reminds him of how lucky he is to have his own love story with you <3

Echo: The Princess Bride

i feel like it’s glaringly obvious why echo loves this movie

pirates. sword fighting. decades long revenge plots. the value of an honorable, loyal man. true love that never wavers even in the face of devastating tragedy and the darkest of hardships. clever but goofy humor.

echo considers this an action/adventure movie and NOT a romance movie (even tho it 100% totally is a romance movie) and requests to watch it very frequently

he can quote the whole thing. i’m seriously telling you echo loves the princess bride with his whole chest

even tho he refuses to admit it’s a love story above all else, he really does try to model himself in your relationship after wesley

like especially given what happened at the citadel and all the time you thought he was dead, the cinematic parellels are alive and present in y’alls relationship and he strives to be even half the man to you that wesley is to buttercup

literally in your day to day life he will sometimes respond to your requests with a smooth “as you wish ;)” (it doesn’t matter how many times he does it it still gives you butterflies)

when you watch the movie, he snuggles as close to you as possible and does his best to make youre comfy the whole time (he’s insecure about his prosthetics hurting you no matter how much you reassure him they don’t)

he just loves to be able to feel your heartbeat and your laugh when you giggle at the funny bits

every single time without fail at the part when buttercup is about to stab herself he leans down, ghosts his lips against the shell of your ear, and whispers the line in time with wesley: “there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours”

every single time without fail you wind up making out until he pulls away and tells you to watch the next part when wesley challenges humperdinck to a duel to the pain

echo just loves you to bits and wants you to know he’d endure a thousand fire swamps for you

Omega: Clueless

i have this really specific obsession with omega being a total girly girl and having very traditionally feminine interests as she keeps experiencing the universe and being exposed to a spectrum of gender expression beyond clone (masc and boring) and kaminoan (ugly)

so with that headcanon of her in mind, it’s vital to me that she sees clueless as soon as possible

clueless is an essential piece of media for a girl entering adolescence and i will die on this hill

it has literally everything you want and everything you need to develop into a well-rounded young woman

it’s so deliciously 90s and glamorama and valley girl humor and camp. its got meaningful female friendships and valuable life lessons and paul mf rudd

if there’s one thing you should encourage a burgeoning hetero teen girl to do, it’s to stick to dating guys like paul rudd in clueless. the earlier this message can be broadcast the better

the second you’re able to steal omega away from hunters watchful eyes (“hunter we’re just gonna watch finding nemo i swear!”) you show her this movie

at this point omega is not really a girly girl, but omega also has absolutely zero feminine influence in her life

the first time she sees clueless she is absolutely obsessed. like seriously she is so enamoured with the glitz and glam of cher horowitz

she asks you questions the entire time. she wants to know about EVERYTHING. the makeup, the clothes, the hair, the slang

(she definitely goes around saying stuff like “i’m totally bugging” for long enough afterwards that almost all of the boys have slipped up at least once with some ridiculous valley girl slang. you thought you were gonna die of laughter when you overheard tech say “as if!” to wrecker in the middle of an argument)

it just really introduces her to this whole world of femininity that she didn’t even know existed and she absolutely loves it

she makes you watch clueless with her seriously once a week at minimum. she begs you to style her hair like tai’s and you can’t help yourself when you happen to run across a little yellow plaid dress and buy it for her on sight

(hunter was gonna scold you for recklessly spending credits until he saw how omega almost cried from how happy she was for the gift)

honestly she enjoys the romance of it all and paul rudd is def her first celebrity crush but she enjoys more that you and her now have this special thing of hair and nails and pretty dresses

she loves how confident and beautiful and special you’re able to make her feel, and you love that you get to bring her that small sense of normalcy and happiness

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spencerreidsconverse · 3 years

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When Evil Doesn't Sleep

summary: Spencer has been gone far too long on a case and when he finally returns home, reader shows him just how much she missed him.

word count: 3.4k

warnings: smut, implied dom/sub undertones, pet names

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Female Reader

A/N: My first fic!!! I hope you all enjoy! <3

“Y/n I’m really sorry but it looks like the case is going to take a lot longer than we thought. We had a recent development and the profile is now pointing to a partnership so now we’re hunting down two unsubs”. You sighed as Spencer rattled off his apologies through the phone before putting him out of his misery “Spencer honey, you don’t have to apologize. Quit worrying about me and focus on catching the bad guys.”

To say you missed Spencer would be the understatement of the century. He had been in Utah for six days already and now with a pair of psychos your odds of finding him in your bed by the end of the week were growing increasingly slim. It didn’t help that you had been swamped prepping for an extra class you’d agreed to take on at Georgetown where you worked as a Criminal Psychology professor. Between both of your hectic work schedules you hadn’t had a real weekend to yourselves in a few months, and while you knew when you first started dating Spencer that it was an inevitable of his job, it had never been this crazy before. They say evil never sleeps but lately it hasn't even taken a catnap.

“I love you Y/N. I promise I’ll come home to you soon and take you out on a real date. I’m sorry darling, I have to go. I’ll text you when I get to the hotel tonight and if you’re still up we can talk for a bit okay?”. “Alright Spence, I love you too. Stay safe okay?”. “I promise, goodbye love.”

Your farewell barely made it past your lips when the dial tone cut you off and once again your boyfriend of three years vanished from your side of the country. You let out an exasperated sigh before reminding yourself that there were other people who needed his help and that you could wait for his attention - at least until that night. Continuing the trek up the stairs of your and spencer’s shared apartment, you managed to haphazardly balance your grocery bags in one hand while unlocking the door and disabling the security alarm, internally cringing at the high shriek that rattled through your brain.

Walking through the living room, you sat the bags on your kitchen counter and began reorganizing the small fridge space to fit all the perishables you had brought home, absentmindedly hoping they wouldn't spoil now that it would be just you for several more days. Moving to the cupboard you replaced the few grab and go snack boxes you had made up to try and encourage Spencer to eat more throughout the day and refilled the paper plate stash that quickly became a requirement after you realized neither one of you could tolerate doing dishes every night. You ripped open the cardboard packaging of yet another microwave dinner and set the timer before leaving to change into more comfortable attire.

Opening the door of your shared bedroom, the smell of vanilla wax melts and dryer sheets hit you like a brick and immediately sent a pang of loneliness through your chest. Spencer was usually around by the time the chores needed done, and you rarely had to do them yourself. Unfortunately, the laundry was piling up and you needed something to distract you so you spent the day running errands and cleaning the apartment more thoroughly than necessary. You walked over to the stack of black dresser drawers and pulled out the first pair of pajama pants you touched, Spencer’s old caltech sweats that now fit you far better than him considering he had received them when he was 14. They looked more like capris on him now and it was embarrassingly difficult to convince him to buy a new pair that fit him properly. You slipped on a tank top and pulled your hair back before making your way lazily to the bathroom to take off the remnants of your simple makeup.

After scrubbing your face clean and pulling your dinner out, you moved to ready the couch for yet another night of binge watching cheesy 90s movies. You selected Clueless and watched the vibrant colors pop across the screen while you dived into your meal, making a poor attempt to ignore the slight freezer burnt taste that lingered after every bite. You finished your dinner and set the bowl aside before covering yourself with a blanket and allowing yourself to sink into the cushions, desperately awaiting Spencer's text.

You were jolted out of your doze by the loud buzzing of your phone against the wooden coffee table. Clumsily you reached for it and managed to swipe the answer pad before it sent your genius to voicemail. “Hello?” you managed before a yawn ripped its way through you suddenly. “Hey Y/N, I’m sorry it’s so late. I didn't mean to wake you, I figured you’d still be up. You should go back to bed love.” For the first time, you noticed the neon green numbers on the microwave. 12:30. You stifled another yawn and shook your head in an effort to wake yourself further “No way, I just dozed off while watching a movie. I was waiting to talk to you. Besides, I’m up now anyways so you might as well stay on with me for a bit. Did you get any further today?” “Well, JJ had the idea that the partners were originally a typical dominant/submissive partnership but that something in the dynamic must have changed because the MO began to deteriorate. We think the partners must have split up now, because we’re finding similar pieces of the previous MO at separate crime scenes.”.

You processed the information he fed you slowly due to your semiconscious state but eventually you put your words in order well enough to respond. “That should be helpful though yeah? I mean, they’re used to working in a partnership so being suddenly separated from your other half so to speak would throw you off track quite a bit right?”. You could practically hear him smiling through the phone as you drew the conclusions the team had come to only a few hours prior. “Yes. We’re hoping to be able to draw them out and trap them. Play them against each other.”.”Does that mean I can stop sleeping on the couch soon?”. You heard him let out a dejected sigh - you knew he hated that you would force yourself onto the cramped couch when you had a king sized bed a few hundred feet away but he understood.

When he had come home in the early hours of the morning after an abrupt end to a case a few weeks after you had moved into his place, he had caught you curled up on the sofa with a throw pillow stuffed under your head. When he questioned you about it the next morning, you simply answered that the bed felt too big without him and that you couldn’t stand the empty feeling. “Sooner than later I hope my love. Y/N I really wish you wouldn’t do that to yourself. It’s horrible for your body. It can put you at a much higher risk for chronic back and neck pain as well as-”. “Spence. I’m not a giant like you are. I fit on the couch much better than you do, and I barely notice the difference.”. You both cringed, hearing the lie clear in your voice. Still, Spencer must have felt bad because he humored you. “If you're sure. What did you do today my love?”. You smiled sadly hearing in his voice just how desperate he was to escape from his reality and come home to you.

”Well, I straightened the house. In fact, it’s so clean i think we could use it as a sterilization room.”. He let out a soft chuckle and you could hear him begin to relax as you recounted the rest of your day, excluding the part about the microwave dinner. Spencer loved to tell you how many of the ingredients were one step away from processed garbage and you decided to opt out of the lecture for the evening. He had more than enough to worry about without having to focus on your diet while he was away. After a half hour of light conversation, a loud yawn betrayed you as you were excitedly discussing the cute puppy you had met on the way to the market. Spencer immediately requested that you hang up and get some more sleep but you refused. After a few minutes of bickering, you relented on the condition that he would read to you until you had fallen asleep. You curled up under the fluffy blanket as Spencer’s even voice recited the collection of Grimm’s fairy tales quickly lured you to sleep.

You woke up the next morning as sunlight peered through the curtains, stretching your body out to ease the aches from the previous night. You smiled softly as your screen lit up with a text from Spencer wishing you a good morning and an update that they had a solid plan for boxing in the two unsubs that afternoon. “If all goes to plan I should be carrying you to our bed before midnight tonight.”. Your smile widened and you sent back “Can’t wait to truly see you - and love you- tonight. I’ll be waiting.” You plugged your phone into the charger and straightened up from the night before when your phone went off again. The one word message glared at you from the screen and you let out an involuntary giggle. “Tease.”. You hoped it gave him something to look forward to until he was back in your arms. You sent back a simple “XO” before deciding to reread one of your favorite books for a few hours to kill some time. You made yourself a sandwich for lunch and had a few glasses of water as the clock slowly ticked by. You were over halfway through the lengthy novel when you received another message.

“We apprehended both unsubs. Hotch is postponing the paperwork until Monday so we can go straight home. I’ll see you in a few hours baby.”. You jumped slightly in celebration before finishing your current chapter, marking your place, and all but skipping to the shower to shave and exfoliate your skin. You knew Spencer would still be heavily worked up once he arrived home and luckily, his favorite release included intertwining your bodies as close as possible and loving you sweetly and slowly.

You took your time in the shower careful not to nick yourself with your razor. You scrubbed your scalp with your nails, letting your stress and soreness melt away under the steam. You waited until the water ran cold before turning the knob and stepping out, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel and blow drying your hair until it layed perfectly even. You applied lotion all over your skin and stepped out of the bathroom to slip on your black silk robe, knowing it wouldn’t be worth it to dress up further. Spencer would be desperate to feel your skin against his and any fabric in his way didn't stand much of a chance.

You made an actual meal for dinner, a pasta dish with chicken that could be easily reheated for Spencer when he grew hungry later in the night. You helped yourself to a serving and after quickly cleaning up the kitchen and storing the leftovers, you retreated to the bedroom to wait for his return.

You were half paying attention to the feed you opted to scroll through on your phone when you heard the door creak open and bags drop to the floor. You set your phone on the bedside table and ran towards the foyer, all but throwing yourself at the exhausted man in front of you. He took a step back from the impact but still enveloped you in his arms and pulled you impossibly tight into his chest. “Hi baby.” you whispered against the scruffy skin of his jawline, peppering kisses up towards his earlobe. He let out a long sigh of relief and picked you up off the hardwood floor, wrapping your thighs around his waist resulting in a high pitched giggle to erupt from your throat. He kissed you then, slowly at first but quickly building more passionate. Your lungs were burning when he finally allowed you to pull away, opting to kiss down your neck to your collarbones and the skin of your chest that was newly exposed as your robe slipped open.

He carefully made his way back to your room, continuing his kisses back up to your shoulder, stopping only to leave marks you knew would only grow darker as time passed. At the very least he was sure to only mark you in places you could cover with little difficulty. “I missed you so much Y/N. The entire ride home all I could think about was you waiting for me in our bed. My gorgeous girl.”. You felt your chest heat up at his words of admiration, wrapping your fingers into his curls and pulling his lips towards your own once more.

You felt him groan against you and moved to quickly unbutton his shirt, slipping it down his arms and tossing it in the general direction of the hamper. He pulled you up with him then, so you were both on your knees, chest to chest as he pulled your robe fully down your back to the swell of your ass where he grasped at you through the slick fabric. You let out a whine and you pulled his belt off, undoing his jeans desperate to continue. He grinned against your neck and pushed you down so you laid flat on your back, completely exposed to him. He kissed at your stomach, making his way down to your inner thighs. He licked a slow wet trail from your pelvic bone to the top of your clit as you whimpered desperately. “Spence, please… I need more”. He humored you, creating slow small circles with his tongue moaning at the taste. You cried out as he created the perfect amount of pressure on your clit, legs threatening to close around his head when he moved to slip one of his fingers easily inside you as the mix of your own wetness and his saliva aided him. He smirked as he felt your thighs flex before using his left hand to throw one of your legs over his shoulders at a time. He pushed a second finger in, curling them up to perfectly reach your g-spot with every thrust. Soon though, you grew impatient with just his fingers. You needed more and you knew just how to get it.

“I want you so bad Spence. I’ve waited for so long and I just can’t anymore. I need to feel you deep inside of me.”. You were positive those words would leave him just as needy as you were and he proved you right when he kicked his pants the rest of the way off and went to line himself up against you. “Wait.”. He stopped immediately, examining your face for any indication of what was wrong. “What’s the matter baby? Are you okay?”. You shook your head and smiled at his concern before switching your positions so his back was resting against the pillows as you straddle his thighs. He smirked at you as he caught on, trailing his hands up the front of your legs to rest at your hips. “You gonna ride me angel?”. You responded with an eager nod and he squeezed your hips, pulling you up further so you were hovering above him. “Sit pretty like my good girl then.”. You whined softly at his words before slowly sinking yourself down around his length, sucking in a harsh breath at the stretch. Even with how wet you were, the adjustment took longer than usual due to the dry spell you were both suffering from as of late.

When you finally felt stretched out enough to move, you slowly ground your hips forward flush against his. He groaned out, lifting you back up so you were almost completely off of him before pulling you back down. You moaned both at the sensation and the idea of being manhandled by the genius below you. You realized what he was asking though, and began bouncing yourself up and down his cock, stopping every few thrusts to grind your clit down on him. You let out soft moans, and after a few more minutes you felt his fingers dig deeper into your hips and his breaths quicken. You knew he was close and as if on cue you started rubbing fast circles against your clit as he spoke again.

“Baby girl I’m getting close. You gonna cum with me angel?” You nodded furiously in response and you felt him start thrusting up to meet you. You panted as you hurried towards the edge of your orgasm, holding on until his thrusts grew sloppier. “You ready to cum with me baby? You gonna cum on my cock?” “Yeah.. gonna cum all over your cock Doc.” You fought to keep the grin off your face when he moaned at the title. He thrusted deep into you twice, before he ordered your release. “I want you to cum now baby. Cum all over my cock.” You felt your orgasm rip through you, electricity shooting through your limbs. Spencer groaned loudly as you tightened around him before pulling you down deep and releasing inside you.

You both fought to catch your breath as you rode out your highs before you found yourself slumping against his chest, suddenly drained from your activities. You felt him chuckle at your drastic change in energy as he wrapped his arms around you again. “I know you just washed the bed sheets and we’re both sweaty but do you think a washcloth will suffice for tonight?”. You nodded against his chest before slowly lifting yourself up and off of him, rolling onto your back on the other side of the bed. Spencer swiftly made his way across the hall, returning to wipe you down gently with the warm fabric. You shivered as the cool air dried your skin, watching him move throughout your room.

He slipped on a fresh pair of boxers before tossing the washcloth in the hamper along with his previously discarded clothes. He hung your robe on the back of your bedroom door then flipped the light switch off before rejoining you in bed to slip under the blankets with you. You immediately curled up into his chest, sighing contently as the sound of his heartbeat filled your ears. You kissed his chest and whispered goodnight, drifting into your first real sleep since before he left.

The next morning you and Spencer went shopping after you successfully convinced him to upgrade to a smart phone with video call abilities. He had begun to shut down the idea as he always had before but after the mere suggestion of what it could do to better your late night hotel room chats he was the one pulling you towards the nearest phone shop. You smiled politely while Spencer took his sweet time weighing the pros and cons of each model, letting your mind drift to the first time it would come in handy. As you finally neared the checkout counter, you took Spencer's hand in your own and gave it a gentle squeeze. After running his card through the machine, the salesgirl gave him the small plastic bag and wished you both a good afternoon.

As you exited the shop, you looked up at him, nudging him to get his attention “What do you think of an app controlled vibrator?”. He stared at you incredulously for a few moments, almost stopping dead in his tracks. After recovering from the initial shock at the vulgarity of your suggestion, he shook his head with a soft smirk and nudged back against you. “Tease.” he called you once more. “That’s the reason you love me right?”. He pulled you into his side, kissing you softly. “One of many Y/N. One of many.”

#spencer reid #Spencer reid/reader #spencer reid/you #Spencer reid x reader #Spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #cm #Spencer reid smut #smut #Spencer reid x you #Spencer reid fanfiction

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

Prisoner - Bucky Barnes

a/n: hi everyone! i am really excited to share this with you, because this one was written for a writing challenge! it is part of @wkemeup ‘s 9k writing challenge and it’s the first time i take part in anything like this with a Bucky fic! not that i have many but im sure more is about to come lol! let me know what you thought after reading!

prompt: Character A is possessed/controlled and attempts to harm Character B. [B] refuses to fight back in fear of hurting [A].

pairing: Bucky X Reader

warnings: blood, violence, mind controlling, just the usual jazz lol

word count: 7.8k

masterlist

Bucky and you were a pair made in hell. Only that he is the only one out of the two of you who really went through the deepest and darkest corners of it while you were basically just waiting in the lobby, as you like to say it.

He wasn’t the only person HYDRA had plans with. Being an orphan from the age of four, you didn’t have the life you probably deserved. Abducted at the age of twenty, you lived in cells and labs for years before they gave you the serum, turning you into a super solider, with determined plans to turn you into a kind of winter soldier 2.0, eventually wiping your head like his and turning you into the perfect assassin. Only that before they could start with the torture, you were rescued by none other than Captain America during a raid on one of HYDRA’s secret bases.

The Avengers gave you shelter when you had absolutely nothing left in life. Your previous life was long forgotten, almost entirely non-existent, all you had is the safety these extraordinary people were offering you, that you took more than willingly.

You were there when Bucky was captured, still very much fighting with his own conscious. You were in the building when Zemo triggered him into being a murderer again and he broke free, fought his ex best friend, saved his life and then disappeared again. You often found yourself thinking about how you’d be just the same if you weren’t saved. How you’d be out there, used as just a toy to end lives.

You never had to go through the process of ripping this side of yourself out of your head, because they never succeeded with you. But Bucky didn’t have it as lucky as you did. When Shuri contacted you that he was awake from his hibernation and they were working on wiping the winter soldier out of him, you didn’t hesitate to drop everything and be there for him. You didn’t know him that well back then, but you felt like you shared a deep connection through the torturous things you had to go through. You were there for him until he finally became entirely himself. No more winter soldier, just Bucky.

The two of you have tens of missions together behind your back at this point. Partners in work, friends in life, that’s what you are. And in your dreams?

Definitely lovers.

Now as you are rotting in a dark and musty cell somewhere in the middle of Poland, you are starting to regret you never really told him how you feel. You had so many chances to come clear but you were too afraid of rejection and the possibility of ruining your strong friendship and most importantly partnership that you chose to keep it all bottled up inside you.

It might have been days or hours since they locked you in your cell, you wouldn’t know. You lost track of time and you’re not expecting to see the daylight anytime soon either. Are they looking for you? Or do they think you died? No one was around you when you were abducted and there were no signs left behind that would have let your team know you survived. There was a massive explosion near your location in the raid, anyone would easily think that you were caught in the middle of that.

Does Bucky think I’m dead too? Has he given up on me?

You’re starting to think you’ll never find that out. Just like how you’ll never find out what it’s like to grow old, have a home that’s not just a room in a facility, spend your days with your hobbies rather than trainings and missions.

As the thick metal door opens and a creak of light breaks the heavy darkness in your cell, you look up at the man who walks in. If your hands weren’t cuffed with fucking vibranium cuffs, you would easily kill him in a heartbeat along with the three bulky guards he brought with himself.

“It’s time to make a use out of you,” the man grinned before two guards grabbed you by your arms, dragging you out of the cell, taking you God knows here. Probably to your death.

“You have to check twice,” Buckly growled upon hearing Agent Hill’s report from what was found at the scene. Or what was not found.

“No signs of Y/N were found, Bucky. But that explosion was so massive, it wiped out everything in it’s close radius. If she stood close to that…” “But what if she didn’t?!” he snaps, barking at the innocent agent. The room falls silent, no one dares to speak up against Bucky’s raging anger. Fury steps forward and places a hand to the upset soldier’s shoulder as a soft warning to control himself. Bucky takes a deep breath before looking over at Fury, no longer determined to rip anyone apart who wants to argue with him.

“Let’s all calm down and see what we can do. Do you think she survived?” Fury simply questions him. Bucky taps on the panel and a map of the location pulls up on the big screen, showing a little red dot at the places where the team members were located last before the explosion.

“Her last location was far enough of it for her to survive,” he explains pointing at your dot.

“But if she moved just a little closer—“ Hill starts again, but she quickly silences herself when Bucky shoots her another warning look.

“I think she was captured. We can’t just assume that she is gone that easily,” he insists, refusing to even think about the possibility of you dying in that explosion. That’s just simply not an option for him.

Fury stares back at him hard, searching for something in his eyes before he finally nods.

“Alright, let’s get on the case. We need to find out where they could be possibly hiding her.”

Bucky breathes out in relief as the team gets down to work immediately. This is not the part he can help with, he sucks at technical things, so now he is left with just the painful wait until a lead pops up and he can come to your rescue.

The gym is eerily quiet without your bickering. He always trains with you and it’s been one of his favorite things to do. The two of you liked to race in everything and thought you both knew he was faster and stronger, he always let you win a few times, giving you the chance to tease him about being second after you.

But now as he is punching the heavy bag on his own, he wishes he could hear one of your snarky comments about his lopsided moves, because he still hasn’t entirely gotten used to the uneven strength in his hands.

“If she is really out there, I’m sure she is doing fine.”

Sam walks in, his steps echo in the empty room and though Bucky stops for a moment, he doesn’t look at him, just keeps punching the bag.

“She is tough, Bucky. She can take care of herself.”

“Not when she is outnumbered by a dozen,” he growls back. “I know she is tough, but sometimes that’s just not enough.”

For a long time Bucky thought Steve is the only person he can work with as partners, but he had to realize that he had a special bond with you through the tortures you both had to go through and sometimes he felt like you were the only one who understood him truly. Even though your brain wasn’t washed like his, you were close to it and it gave you a great understanding of what he had to go through.

But it wasn’t just about the trauma. As you grew closer to each other you easily became friends, really good ones for all that matters. Bucky loved spending time with you on and out of missions as well. He finds your humor a little dark but quite entertaining, he likes how you are more social than he is so whenever you need to work with someone else you always take the role of the communicator, building a bridge between him and others easily. He loves how much you care about others, how you show your appreciation for your loved ones in the tiny details as making breakfast or baking their favorite cookies. He loves the way you smile whenever he messes up something and you have to take care of it eventually, he loves the way you laugh at his lame, old jokes, he loves how you always fall asleep on horror movies and he loves…

He loves you.

For years he thought he would never feel this way again for anyone, because it’s so raw and human, he thought it was wiped out of him when he became the winter soldier, but you proved him wrong. And now he wishes he told you how he felt, because if you won’t return, he has to live his life knowing you never knew how much you meant to him.

Tossing and turning in his bed, he stays wide awake, not able to even close his eyes when he knows you are out there somewhere, because you have to be. He refuses to nurse the thought of you gone for even a second. You’re qualified, the best fighter he has ever met and he has this feeling in his gut that you made it out of there alive. Maybe you knew the explosion was about to happen. Maybe you ran the opposite way before it was too late. Or maybe you found shelter, or simply was just knocked out of the impact of it and they captured you.

So many possibilities that are way more better than the fatality of your death.

Kicking the silky sheets off his body, the ones he deep down hates because it’s way too smooth against his skin, something he still has a hard time to grow accustomed to, he pulls a hoodie over his head before creeping his way out of his bedroom, down the hallway until he reaches yours. He stands still at the door, a sense of anxiety washing over him as he thinks about what’s inside. Not that it’s the first time he is here, he has spent endless nights in your room, the two of you talking and laughing as you showed him your favorite movies he hasn’t seen. You often bought a big bag of snacks for your movie nights and the two of you sprawled across your comforter, your legs sometimes touching, or there was this one time when he let you braid his hair.

“You should come to missions like this,” he remembers your teasing as you ran your fingers through the neat braids running along his head.

“And give the boys another reason to tease me? No thank you,” he chuckled.

“Another? What do they tease you about?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows as you popped a gummybear into your mouth.

You. It was you they teased him about and how obvious his feelings for you are. Seemingly everyone saw how you looked at each other but you and him.

He twists the silver doorknob before pushing the door open, part of him hoping to see you curled up under the sheets, snoring lightly and peacefully, but the room is terribly empty without your presence.

Everything is just the way you left them. The abandoned workout clothes hanging from the edge of the hamper, your running shoes under the window, your journal lying on your nightstand with a pen on top and his favorite… a framed picture of you and him on your bookshelf with all your favorite romantic novels stacked neatly on the shelves.

Bucky steps closer, his hands hidden in the pooch of his hoodie as he stares at the photo. It was taken a few days after the two of you returned from Wakanda, Bucky was finally free from the winter soldier and it was probably the best few days of his life. The two of you decided to take a trip to London before returning to your duty, a place you always wanted to see, but never really got the chance. It was just the two of you, taking some time away from the avengers, SHIELD, all the bad in the world, pretending like you’re two normal people for just a weekend before returning to your duties in New York. The photo was taken when you returned from the getaway, Steve took it in the gym, the two of you sat at the edge of the boxing ring after a killer fight. It was a simple moment, his arm stretched behind you as you leant against his side. The glow from your alone time was still apparent on your faces, neither of you felt happier in life before, or not at least in the last decade.

His vision blurs as he runs a finger through the frame, a sharp pain stabbing in his chest as he watches your bright smile and rosy cheeks. He never thought he would feel this way about anyone, not after everything he went through, but you proved him wrong. You showed him how much more human he still is that what he thinks of himself and you might not even have realized it.

Too restless to go back to sleep, Bucky storms out of your room, carefully closing the door behind him before going down to Tony’s office, determined to make himself useful. He can’t just sit around and wait, he needs to feel like he is doing everything he can.

When the first rays of the sun shine above the horizon and the first agents arrive for their shifts, He has already gone through an immense amount of security tapes from all around the world that had even the slightest match through the face recognition system with yours. None of them turned out to be real, but he never gave up.

“Barnes, were you here all night?” Tony asks in awe when he finds the long-haired avenger with his eyes glued to one of the screens, watching yet another tape.

“Not all night, but… for the majority, yes,” he nods without even sparing Tony a look.

Any other day Tony would tease him for maybe finally doing something useful, or not only using his fist in a case, but not today. Everyone on the team knows how much you mean to him and how hard it is to not know where you are. So he just nods, places his coffee down to the desk and gets down to work without a word.

Soon enough the rest of the team joins them and everyone is working together to find even the slightest lead. Every other minor case is put aside, you are their priority.

The more time passes by without anything found, Bucky feels like a part of him is dying more and more. Hopelessness and fear is taking over his already messed up mine, but he is still holding onto the light and that small little feeling in his gut that you are still out there somewhere. And then they find a lead.

“We’ve got a match!” Nat beams from behind her screen and everyone gathers around her as a series of blurry photos play in front of them, showing a group of men carrying a clearly unconscious person to a minivan before driving away. The quality is definitely not the best, your face is also half covered by your hair, but your uniform gives you away. It really is you.

“Where and when was this taken?” Bucky asks in a hurry.

“Last night, outside of Krakow. We have one last coordinate for the van,” Nat informs the group as she brings up a map, a red dot signaling the last spotting of the same van.

“There’s a closed off military based near,” Steve chimes in, pointing at the map a few miles away from where the pictures were taken.

“Alright, suit up everyone. Guess we are going to Poland,” Tony announces and a moment later everyone is running off to get ready for takeoff.

The ground doesn’t feel that bad anymore. It’s wet and there’s gravel here and there, the coldness is not too comfortable either, but you are getting used to it. Probably because it makes you feel things and that’s important to you now. In times when you often lose contact with your own body and mind, feelings keep you grounded and they remind you of who you are.

Last night you finally found out who caught you and it wasn’t a pleasant surprise. Aziel Nowak is a name you’ve already heard before, but not in the best way. The guy is totally crazy and if that’s not enough, he is kind of a genius as well. These two never sit well with each other and you knew it was just a matter of time before you had to face him, but you didn’t think these would be the circumstances.

Nowak’s father, Aleksander was a well-known scientist in the circles of HYDRA, he was one of the assholes responsible for wiping Bucky’s head, unfortunately, his own creation brought his death upon him. Bucky killed him during a raid, all while Aleksander was trying to trigger him, but Bucky was faster than him and shoot him in the head before he could get the second trigger word out. Aziel swore to seek revenge for his father’s death and made it clear that his big plan is to take out every avenger one by one, but all during completely destroying Bucky in every possible way.

Stuck in a clear tube, one that was built specially for super soldiers, you stood in his lab as he got everything ready for his master plan with you.

“The winter soldier was full of flaws,” he started to explain to you, working behind his computer while you couldn’t do anything to stop the madness. Even if you could break out of the tube, you were terribly outnumbered with the hoard of guards in the room, all of them armed and ready to rip you apart. It would have been a suicidal mission.

“The trigger words take a lot of time to enlist and sometimes, we just don’t have time for that. We need our soldier instantly, in a push of a button, if I might add,” he smirked and you almost gagged. He was a lowlife, disgusting middle-aged man, completely out of touch of reality, wrapped up in his own head with his ridiculous misconceptions and twisted view of the world.

“But fear no more, I have a better solution,” he grinned at you, holding up a tiny chip between his fingers and your jaw flexed. You didn’t know what it was, but you had guesses. “Spent years working on this little thing and now I can finally test it out and you get to be the lucky one to do it. Start the gas,” he ordered and a moment later some kind of gas started to fill the tube up. Your pathetic attempt to escape was cut off shortly when you felt your whole body freeze as you inhaled the gas. You just stood there, completely no control over your own body. The back of the tube opened with a hiss once the gas cleared out from around you and you felt a sharp stabbing at the back of your neck. You couldn’t even gasp, you were as frozen as a statue, unable to defend yourself and you truly felt like it’s the end. You wish it was though.

Nowak implanted the chip into your spine and you could feel the wires cling into your nerves, melting into your body like a parasite. A single tear rolled down your cheek as your wound was closed off.

“This is going to be so much fun,” Nowak smirked when he walked into your sight again. He had a control panel in his hands and as he pushed some buttons electricity bolted through your whole body and you completely lost control over your actions. Your body moved without your consent, arms and legs acting without your brain actually telling them.

You became a prisoner in your own body.

The night was spent fighting with Nowak’s best guards as he tested out his new toy: you. He could control your whole body thanks to the chip and while you were screaming and shouting in your head, there was no escape. He made you into his ragdoll and there was nothing you could do against it.

He switched the chip off when you were thrown back into the cell. You sobbed for hours probably as you tried to get the thing out of yourself, blood was dripping down your back, but you had to accept that it was too deep, clinging onto your spine, you couldn’t get it out with your bare hands.

Now you are lying on the floor and try to remember who you are, because you’ve been feeling like you lost touch with your true self. The only thing that has been helping is remembering your favorite memories.

It makes your heart flutter when you realize that most of them have Bucky in them. Your most favorite? The time you spent in London. Those days are the closest and dearest to your heart and now you just wish you could go back in time for even just an hour. Strolling down the streets like any other tourists without a worry in the world, watching the city lay in front of you as you ride the London Eye or walking along the River Thames. You felt so normal, so happy, sharing your time with the man you probably love the most in the whole wide world.

“I could live here,” you sighed when the Big Ben came into view above the brick buildings.

“It rains too much here,” Bucky furrowed his eyebrows at you, his arm brushing against yours.

“I like the rain. Love the smell of it, love how refreshing it feels after it,” you chuckled.

“And what would you want to do here?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “Maybe I would work at a library. Or a café!”

“You want to be a barista!” He chuckled, smirking down on you. “Is this why you wanted Tony to get a fancy espresso machine?”

“Well, not just because of this, I just really like good coffee,” you smiled up at him. “What, do you not like my coffee?”

“Oh, I do. You make the best in the tower,” he nodded.

You could always talk about anything and everything with him. He understood you so well and you liked to think it worked the other way as well. That you were just as important to him as he was to you.

“Bucky.” His name falls from your lips like a desperate plea, as if you could summon him and he’d be here any moment to rescue you. But nothing changes and you are still on your own.

You’ve been wondering if this is how he felt when they made him to be the winter soldier. If he went through the same struggle or if it was worse. He said he doesn’t remember everything he did, as if sometimes he just completely disappeared in his own head, but other times live vividly in his memories.

You remember everything too. The chip has no control over your mind and thoughts, it works as another brain that takes over control in your body, caging your mind in your own head while it works your body.

A siren rings through the building and you gasp, your head snapping in the direction of the metal door. You hear orders in a foreign language and running footsteps somewhere down the hallway. Pushing yourself up you move to the far end of the room as you hear someone approaching your cell. Before the lock clicks on the door, you feel the familiar electricity run through your body and you breathe out before you lose control over your body again. You stand up, not because you want to, but because this is what they ordered. The door swings open and Nowak walks in.

“Guess your little friends figured out where you are. It’s time to show them my masterpiece.”

The military base is pretty lively for a closed off one. As the team is approaching the complex they inspect the possibilities they have to get inside.

“Alright, we have to be smart about this. Nowak is a psychopath,” Tony announces when the quinjet is nearing the base. “Barron and Natasha, we need a diversion. Banner, you stay here and only come in if it’s needed,” he starts and everyone nods along. “Wanda, the same goes for you as well. Listen to the call word and be ready to interfere. Sam and I are going to clear the main building, try to find Nowak. Barnes, Cap, you are tracking Y/N down. Everything clear?”

“As daylight,” Steve nods as he grabs his shield from the side.

Once the quinjet touches down, everyone goes their own way, going along the plan they discussed. Nat and Clint do well with the diversion, a great amount of guards and soldiers are drawn in their way as Tony and Sam make their way into the main building of the base.

“Where should we look, Buck?” Steve asks his friend as they hide behind one of the quarters. Bucky looks around, inspects the place and nods towards a building that’s clearly powered with a lot more electricity for whatever reason, Thick cables running inside, snaking under the doors, pouring extra power inside. Steve nods and once the way is somewhat cleared out, they head inside.

They take down the few HYDRA agents that try to get in their way as they run further into the building without even breaking a sweat. They easily reach the lab and it almost feels way too easy.

“Something is not right,” Steve says as the two of them walk into the empty lab, curious inspecting all the machines and equipment they have absolutely no idea how to work.

Bucky’s eyes fall on the tube in the far corner of the room and walking closer he gets an eerie feeling and he can already picture you trapped inside, the thought making his stomach churn.

“Anyone found Nowak yet?” Steve asks through the com.

“Negative,” Nat grunts back in the middle of her own fight.

“Haven’t seen the fucker either,” Tony answers and Steve sighs.

Just as Bucky is about to head to the door that leads out of the lab at the other end from where they entered, the sliding door opens and they both get ready to fight whatever is about to come into sight. But neither of them were expecting you to walk out.

“Y/N?!” your name falls from Steve’s lips as he lets his shield down, staring back at you confused. But you don’t answer, just stop a few feet away from them, staring blankly ahead of you and Bucky swears he was on the verge of fainting from his anger, because he knew those eyes all too well, because he used to see them in the mirror.

“Y/N, what did they do?” he whispers desperately, a hand reaching out to you, but it’s quickly cut off when you grab his hand and easily throw him over, his back contacting the floor with a painful thump.

Hell breaks loose fast as you start fighting them off, using the advantage of their shock upon seeing you, working against them while they try to make you remember them.

“Y/N, it’s us! We don’t want to hurt you!” Steve growls when he saves himself from one of your hits, his shield coming between the two of you.

I know! I know it’s you, but I can’t do anything! You scream in your own head, unable to even form the words. You’re a prisoner in this body you thought to be yours, but it betrayed you.

You never fought both of them before at the same time, but now that it’s happening, you’re surprisingly good at it, handling two super soldiers at the same time when one of them has a vibranium arm while the other one keeps throwing a vibranium shield at you, though it’s clear they aren’t giving their best, afraid of hurting you even though you’re in killer mode right now and determined to rip them apart.

“Do you think they did the same to her as they did to you?” Steve asks out of breath when you throw them against a wall and return to fight Bucky.

“It’s something else. Look at the back of her neck!” he growls when you throw a punch in his way that he catches with his metal arm, holding your fist tight as you keep pushing it and this moment of pause allows Steve to take a look at you from the back.

“Oh shit,” he breathes out.

Yes! Take this shit out and I’m free! You scream, but no one hears. Your fist frees from Bucky’s grip and you kick him in the stomach so hard he snaps against the desk behind him and wasting no time you jump right at him, the fight continues.

“If anyone finds Nowak, don’t kill him. We’ve got Y/N and she is being controlled by something,” Steve explains through his earpiece before throwing his shield in your direction right when you’re about to attach your hands to Bucky’s neck. It hits you in the side and you fall to the ground grunting.

“Don’t fucking hurt her!” Bucky growls at him, but Steve gives him a look.

“She is trying to kill us, we have to do something!”

You’re on your feet fast, already charging at Steve and it catches him by surprise, he stumbles back as your knee collides with his stomach, a punch thrown at his pretty face.

“I see Nowak!” Tony’s voice comes through the earpieces, but they don’t have the chance to celebrate, because you’re kicking their ass big time.

When you want to launch yourself at Steve again, Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist from behind and he pulls back, pushing you away, making you stumble, but you’re back on your feet quickly. Your eyes meet and you want to touch him so badly, run into his arms, tell him how happy you are to see him and that he was the only thing that kept you sane, but instead, you throw yourself at him, fist colliding with the side of his head.

I’m so sorry, Buck!

“We’ve got Nowak!” Tony announces and Steve sighs in relief.

“Does he have something like a remote or controller?” he asks while you and Bucky are at each other’s throat. You throw him to a desk and drag him across it, papers and equipment flying everywhere before he ends up on the floor groaning. You have the perfect chance to throw a punch in again, but you turn around and run back towards the door you came through.

“He has a controlling panel, do you think it’s connected to Y/N?” Tony asks.

“Very much likely, but please hurry up, she is trying to run away!” Steve begs as they both start to chase after you in the labyrinth of hallways. You’re footsteps are echoing on the checkered floors as they are trying to catch up with you. You take a left turn and get out of their vision just for a split second. As they get around the corner they immediately freeze when they find you standing there, a gun pointing right at Bucky’s head, a deadly, but still rather blank expression in your eyes.

“Shit,” Steve breathes out.

“Y/N, I know you are in there,” Bucky speaks up.

Yes! I’m here! I’m here Bucky!

“The controller is locked, but we are working on it,” Tony announces through the com, but it doesn’t help their situation right now. If he can’t unlock the controller, you are likely to shoot them both if they don’t do something. As you stare back at your two friends, you are using everything in you to try to get back the control over your own body, but it’s like you’re just silently screaming in an empty, locked room.

“I know you hear me. Please, try to fight it off. I know how hard it is, but if anyone can do it, it’s you,” Bucky continues and if only you were in charge of yourself, you’d already be sobbing at the broken expression he is staring back at you with. Your finger is on the trigger and you can feel your muscles trembling.

“Buck, we need to disarm her,” Steve tells him, but he shakes his head.

“No. We can’t do that without hurting her and I’m not doing that.”

Oh Bucky! That’s the only way now!

“She is gonna shoot, Bucky. We have to do something!”

“She could have already fired. She is fighting it off, I know it.”

“Or maybe it’s just whatever it is inside her messing with her head as Tony is trying to break the controller.”

“Y/N, sweetheart, I know you can do this. I’m not gonna hurt you, you can fight it!” Bucky continues, ignoring Steve’s words, who stands behind him with his jaw flexed.

I can’t do it, you need to knock me out! I’m not strong enough to do it!

You are trying everything you can and you are already holding your finger back, you would have already pulled the trigger if it wasn’t for your resistance somewhere in this cage. But you just know you’re not strong enough to stop yourself forever, they will need to disarm you, there’s no choice.

You stare back at Bucky, his forehead and left cheek bloody from wounds you gave him and he probably has a few bruises under his leather jacket as well, all because of you. Nowak made you hurt the person you love the most and now his life is being threatened. You know he won’t fight you, he will not try to disarm you, he would rather take the bullet than cause pain to you, more than what he already did during your fight.

The gun trembles in your hand as you’re desperately trying to gain your control back, sweat beading on your forehead, your chest heaving.

“Stark, we are running out of time!” Steve warns him through the com.

“Just one more second!” he answers, but you’re afraid you don’t have that much time.

“Y/N, please!” Bucky begs, a single tear rolling down his cheek and you can feel your own heart breaking at the sight of him. You can’t believe it’s because of you, you are causing him pain when you swore to work to see him his happiest in his life.

Your jaw flexes and you are on the verge of breaking, the tiniest light flashing in front of you as you keep pushing, trying to take back control, but then you feel like losing again. It all happens so fast, you can barely process.

You know you’re about to pull the trigger, you can’t stop yourself, but just as you are about to do it, Tony’s voice rings through the com.

“We got it!”

In a blink of the eye, the invisible grip that’s been keeping you tight vanishes, the cage opens up and suddenly you feel yourself come alive again as the most painful, deafening and desperate scream rips from your throat, the gun falling from your grip before you collapse on the ground in complete shock of everything that went down.

“Get it out! Get it out! I can’t do this!” you scream, your nails scratching the back of your neck once again, trying to reach the chip, but you’re just breaking your own skin once again, blood dripping down your back.

“Hey, it’s alright, sweetheart. We got you. You’re gonna be fine!” Bucky falls to his knees, cradling you into his arms as you sob into his hard chest, hands gripping the fabric of his jacket tight as your salty tears soak your cheeks, your whole body shaking.

“I’m so sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” you repeat, shaking your head as if you were trying to get rid of the memories, but they are still there, you still know what it’s like to be a prisoner in your own head but at least now you are with Bucky and that brings you the peace of mind you’ve been seeking all along.

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s alright. You’ll be alright, sweetheart, you’re safe with me now,” he murmurs into your hair, his arms holding you so tight it’s starting to get hard to even breathe, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You cling onto him as if your life depends on it and in a way, it really does. Bucky gathers you into his arms as you keep mumbling your apologies and begs to make it stop even though you are not being controlled any longer. He carries you to the quinjet as he keeps murmuring reassuring words into your ear, telling you that everything is going to be alright now. You are in good hands.

You don’t let go of him on the way back and he doesn’t seem to want to do it either. Curled up on his lap, you let yourself fall into a shallow slumber as his fingers are dancing up and down your back, keeping you close to his chest, the feeling of finally being home taking over your senses.

Arriving back to New York you are helped off the jet by Bucky or course as he walks you to the med bay where Dr. Cho is already waiting for your arrival.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. We’ll fix you up,” she smiles at you as you are expected to let go of Bucky, but your head snaps back in his direction in panic, hands grabbing onto his anxiously.

“It’s alright, I’ll be here waiting for you. My stupid face will be the first thing you see when you wake up,” he jokes, his tired eyes fixated on you as you hesitate to let go of him, but eventually do it.

Keeping his promise Bucky stay outside as long as you are under Helen’s hands, not able to even drag him away to change clothes. The only thing he can make himself is dragging his ass to the nearest restroom to at least wash the dried blood off his face, but he quickly returns to his previous spot.

It turns out removing the chip is a bit more complicated than anyone thought. The micro wires are so deep in your nerves, Dr. Cho has to be careful if he doesn’t want to paralyze you with just one wrong move. Five entire hours pass by before the chip is finally out of you, before they place you in one of the rooms until you wake up from the anesthesia. Bucky is right by your side, holding your hand soothingly as he waits for you to open your eyes again. When he sees your eyelashes fluttering, he holds his breath as your eyes open and you adjust to the light and the view around you.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” he softly asks, gently brushing a strand of hair out of your forehead.

“Like… I just fought against two super soldiers,” you breathe out in a joking manner that makes him chuckle. You’re back and he missed you more than he could ever express.

As you let out a long and heave breath, you feel everything coming back to you and you can’t stop your sobs and the tears falling from your eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky,” you gasp and he is quick to leap forward, one hand holding yours while the other one cups your cheek as he makes you turn your head towards him.

“No, no, no. You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N. You did everything you could, you fought it so well!”

“But I hurt you! I didn’t want to hurt you, I was screaming inside my head, but I just couldn’t stop!” you sob shaking your head.

“I know, it wasn’t your fault! Please don’t think for a moment anyone blames you!” he begs, his bright blue eyes glued to your pained face as you fight your tears back. A hand moves to the back of your neck, feeling the wound where the chip used to be.

“Is it gone?” you ask in a whisper.

“It is. Helen took good care of you. You’re free now,” he smiles and you feel a wave of relief washing over you right away. Your body is yours again, finally.

“I didn’t think I would be myself again,” you admit, your voice slightly shaking. Bucky’s heart breaks at your words, but remains silent as you carry on. “I kept thinking of memories that feel the closest to me and it was the only thing that kept me sane. And I realized that the dearest ones are all with you, Bucky.”

His lips part at your revelation as his heart is beating fast against his ribcage. He has been waiting for this moment to come for what feels like eternity and now it might become his reality.

“When I thought I would never be the same again, I just thought about… you. That I don’t get to see you again, when I always wanted to spend all my days with you, Buck.”

“I want to spend all my days with you too, sweetheart,” he breathes out, leaning closer until his face is only inches away from yours. “I hated the thought of you being gone without ever telling you how I feel.”

“How do you feel, Bucky?” you ask in a trembling voice.

“You are my everything, Y/N. You are my best friend and everything beyond and I was such a fool for not telling you before this, but the thought of losing you made me realize that I have to stop being a coward,” he chuckles with tears bubbling in his eyes. You reach out and cup his face in your palms, your thumb running along the dark circles under his eyes and you wonder if he even slept a moment since you’ve been gone.

“We were both idiots, don’t beat yourself,” you chuckle softly, making his mouth turns into a grin before he leans closer and his lips finally press against yours, capturing them in a sweet, so-good-to-have-you-back kiss you’ve been dreaming about for probably way too long but at least since London. It’s soft and gentle, filled with the promise of many more to come. Thought you’re trying to stretch it as long as possible, a cough is heard from the door and you both pull back, turning your attention at the rest of the team standing there, all of them happy to see you again, or maybe to see the two of you finally taking the step they’ve been waiting for to happen.

“I guess you are feeling better now, yeah?” Nat smirks as she walks further inside, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Much better,” you admit with a shy chuckle. “Thank you for the rescuing, guys.”

“It’s the least we could do,” Sam smirks at you.

“And Barnes would have gone nuts if we didn’t find you so that was also quite motivating,” Tony jokes nodding towards the man by your side, who is still holding your hand as if you could disappear any moment.

“Steve, I’m sorry for trying to hurt you,” you breathe out at the sight of the tall blonde man, but he just shrugs with a warm smile.

“It’s alright. At least now we know that you could easily kick our ass at the same time,” he jokes nodding towards Bucky, though you all know they were holding back, not wanting to hurt you. You still remember the look in Bucky’s eyes when you held him at gunpoint. He could have easily disarmed you but it would have cost you at least a broken arm, yet he refused to lay a hand on you and believed that you could control yourself again.

When the team is gone and it’s just the two of you again in the room, Bucky sits at the edge of your bed, his fingers playing with your hand over the white sheets as you let yourself fall into the sense of safety again.

“You should have disarmed me, Bucky,” you tell him, breaking the silence.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I could have killed you,” you retort.

“I know,” he nods, his lips pressing into a thin line. “But I just couldn’t cause you any more pain.”

“The fact that I was hurting you was already a pain, Bucky. You should have just knock me out.”

“Would you ever do the same to me?” he questions and though you open your lips to answer, you realize that he is right. You would have never hurt him on purpose, not even if he was back at being the winter soldier. You could have never hurt your sweet Bucky, the man that means more than anything ever in your torturous life.

“See? How do you expect me to do it then?” he smiles softly. “But it doesn’t matter, you are free now. It’s all in the past.”

“It still broke my heart, seeing you like that.”

“I can only say the same,” he breathes out, his eyes softening on you. “I wanted to help you so bad, but I couldn’t…”

“You helped me a lot,” you smile at him, brushing a few loose strands of hair out of his forehead. He smiles back at you and through his ocean eyes are still looking tired and a little bloodshot, but there’s a tiny little glimmer in them, something you’ve seen before, it was the most apparent when Shuri was successful at ridding him from the winter soldier and you also saw it in London. You’ve been seeking this little shine for a long time and you’re happy to have it back.

“We should go on a vacation,” he suggests, his smile growing wider with each passing second.

“Oh, I didn’t know avengers had vacation days,” you tease him.

“They do, as much as they want,” he nods grinning. “Where would you want to go? Do you want to go back to London?” he questions as he brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your bruised knuckles.

“Mm, we should go somewhere new,” you purse your lips. “I’ve always wanted to see Amsterdam.”

“Then Amsterdam it is,” he chuckles before leaning closer he kisses your lips gently with a promise of a bright future together.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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