#they kill Santa and it’s funny and I don’t want to leave that forever in my wips

[wispscribbles]

When I finish my ghoap Christmas oneshot that I started way back in start December, and have been struggling with since, then it’s over for you fools 🎅

[snlhostharry]

try try again

harry x reader

2.2k words 

summary: harry wants to propose, but life keeps getting in the way 

a/n: first off... I suck at titles... why am I like this.... second off this is my secret santa gift for @jambrosemc ! happy holidays em! hope you like this, you are a super talented writer I just binged all your pieces and I am obsessed. and thank you to @peeterparkr for hosting 

The first time he tries is after the first concert he does for Fine Line. 

Fine Line at the Forum is a success in all the ways that matter, and Harry is so happy coming off the stage that he almost forgets about his plan to propose all together. When you barge into his dressing room after the show is over, smiling and ecstatic for him he suddenly sees the ring box on the counter and rushes to shove it in his pocket before you can see it. 

“That was insane, love,” You say wrapping him into a hug. “I think they really liked it.” 

He gives you a cheeky smile, “You think?” You roll your eyes in response, “What gave it away?” He asks, “The frantic screaming or the bra’s that were thrown onto the stage?” 

“You should’ve kept a couple,” You tease, “They could’ve been my size.” 

He laughs, “If you want one that bad I will buy it for you.” 

“I’m holding you to that,” You say, taking a seat on top of the counter. He runs a hand through his hair, knowing that this would be the perfect moment to just get down on one knee. He can see himself doing it, simply bending down and saying the words he’s wanted to say for what feels like forever. “You okay?” You ask him, seeing the look on his face and supposing that he’s thinking about something that happened during the concert. “You did a great job out there, seriously. Everyone really loved it H, the album is spectacular.” 

He shakes himself back into the moment, “I know, I know.” He says, and it comes off a little sharper than he means it too, he’s just very much in his own head about this whole thing now. What felt like it would be the perfect moment now feels wrong, like doing it now would cheapen the entire thing. He sighs, “Sorry,” He says, planting himself down on the floor dramatically, “Thank you.” 

“We don’t have to go out if you don’t want to,” You tell him, guessing that he’s just tired from a long night. “Let’s get takeout and go home, or go home and get takeout whichever order.” 

He smiles, “You ate before the show.” 

“That was like three hours ago, and it was a snack, I always planned on eating again, and you were too nervous to eat before the show.” 

He hugs his knees to his chest, “Watching you eat an entire kids meal in under five minutes actually helped with the nerves.” 

You shrug, “What can I say? I have my moments.” 

He stands and presses a kiss to your forehead as you swing your legs over the side of the counter. “You have a lot of moments, I love you.” 

“Love you too,” You wait a second before asking, “So home then?” 

He thinks about it for a minute, “Yeah.” 

“When you call in the food order make sure you put it under my name,” You tell him and he collects his things from the room, “People are beginning to get suspicious when I go into the restaurant to pick up an order for Harry.” 

He nods, and gently grabs your hand as the two of you leave. Maybe he’s not going to do it tonight, but he’s more resolved to actually pop the question than ever. He’s just so in love with you that he wants the whole thing to be perfect, and for some reason he has it all in his head that it needs to be a story that the two of you can tell in the future, something meaningful, he just has absolutely no idea what that is. 

The second planned attempt is a lot more off the cuff. 

You insist on throwing him a birthday party at the house, saying something about wanting to one up your sister who threw a very tasteful christmas party that the two of you went to. Not that your sister was invited seeing as the party was in London, but you knew that there would be enough pictures that she would see that you’re just as good as she is. Harry doesn’t understand it at all, but he decides that he doesn't even want to know how a rivalry like that can develop and leaves it alone. 

Objectively, you throw a very nice party. Of course Harry makes it a point to tell you this as often as possible without seeming overly invested in it, because he loves you and he wants you to be proud of your own work just like you want him to be proud of his. It’s hard for him to leave your side at all because he loves to see you talk to his friends and family and seem so happy to do it. You fit right in with everyone and he’s so grateful for that, and it’s as he’s standing there watching you talk to people that it hits him that this could be his moment. 

Not in front of everyone because that would be so much more pressure than he needs, but he thinks that after when everyone has finally left the house that he could catch you in the middle of cleaning or something and gently ask you to marry him. He decides that tonight, that’s the plan and he spends the rest of the night just thinking about that. It really is a great party, full of all his favorite things and people, it’s one of those nights where he feels like he loves you so much that his heart might just burst out of his chest. 

When finally every last guest has left the house, and things are a bit messy, he can’t seem to find you anywhere. He locks the door behind him, and starts walking through the house calling your name. He checks upstairs, in the kitchen, in all the bathrooms, and nothing. Until finally he walks into the living room and finds you sound asleep on the couch, snoring loudly enough that he’s surprised he didn’t hear it while he was looking. He looks at you and just smiles, suddenly completely fine with the fact that another plan has been ruined. He simply picks you up and takes you to bed, well aware he’s going to have to move onto plan C if he ever wants to get this done. 

The next time he tries, you end up surprising him. 

Plan C is a nice candlelight dinner at the house, which Harry tried to cook but ended up burning so eventually he relented and ordered food before putting it all together. Of all the plans he had come up with thus far, this one seemed the most foolproof. Everything was already planned: he knew you were going to come home from work at a certain time, he knew that there wouldn't be any distractions, and he had psyched himself up enough that he wasn’t just going to forget about the whole thing like he did the first time.

When the entire table is set up and the ring is in his pocket, he sits waiting for you to come home. He thinks about getting up to change some of the place settings just a little, but when he does he hears the clicking sound of your key in the door and sits back in his seat. After you walk into the house and set your stuff down in the entryway, Harry hears the sound of your shoes on the floor as you excitedly run into the kitchen. When you make it to where he can see you, he sees that you have a megawatt smile on your face and a large box in your hands. 

“I have a surprise,” You say, keeping a firm hold of the box. 

“I suppose it’s in that box,” He says, leaning over the chair so that he can see. 

You roll your eyes but keep smiling, “Yeah, obviously.” 

“Do you want me to guess?”

“God no,” You say, “That would take way too long. Basically I was at work today, and Mark has been producing this piece about a no kill animal shelter for a new segment about everyday heroes or whatever which is gross because puff pieces but when the woman came in to do the interview she brought in all these cats, no dogs for some reason, but anyway so we were all playing with the cats because our job is stressful and cats, and then she was like ‘you guys seem so good with these cats, they are looking for homes and-” 

He looks at you with a wide eyed expression, “You didn’t.” 

You ceremoniously walk over to the table, open the box and pull a small orange cat into your arms, “You bet your ass I did.” You gently pet the cat, which mews quietly from your arms, “She does not have a name mostly because I couldn’t think of any.” 

“We talked about pets like a week ago, briefly.” 

You give a guilty smile, “Yeah but I felt like I really needed this cat. I live here now, we live here, and I finally feel like I’m settled-” You sit down at the table and sigh, “I think I might be nesting, which is kind of gross but I don't know. I love you, and I love being here and I finally feel stable enough to get a freaking cat so that’s the explanation I have.” 

He can’t stop himself from breaking into a smile, even though he knows his plans have been thwarted again. (He thinks later, after the moment has already passed that he very well could’ve done it right then and there after you’d given a whole speech about the two of you being stable). He shakes his head after looking at you making funny faces at the cat like it’s a child, “Okay hand her over.” 

You hand her over and say, “I will not accept any names that have to go with the fact that she’s a ginger, because that’s just lame.” 

“Well seeing as those were my only ideas-”

You sigh, “We will think of something, just not now because you got dinner and I’m starving.” 

“What’s she going to eat?”

“I got food and a bowl, and a bunch more things being delivered within the next week or two.” 

“Did you go out and buy a box just for the dramatic reveal?”

“Yes, I did and it was totally worth it.” 

The cat’s name ends up being Hillary, after you discover an affinity for pet names that are usually person names. Something about the way you’ll end up talking about Hillary in polite conversation and someone will have to ask you who that is makes you want to choose it overall. Even though Harry is not sure about the sudden change at first, he soon becomes best friends with Hillary, and you often find the two of them cuddled up together on the couch. She likes to listen to him play music just as much as you do as it turns out. 

Harry is still trying to think of a way to propose. So much time has passed since he bought the ring, and the first time that he planned to pop the question that he wonders if he’ll ever find the right time to do it or if you’ll just end up asking him one day because it’s all gone too far. One afternoon when the two of you are relishing a rare shared day off, he watches you cook lunch in the kitchen and decides that now is the time to do it. No more excuses, no more surprises, just him and you and the question on the tip of his tongue for too long. 

When you put all of the food on plates, and set them out on the counter he walks over and just looks at you. It weirds you out at first so you ask, “What? Is there something on my face?” 

He gets down on one knee and you still are very confused about what he’s doing. You open your mouth to ask him, but the realization suddenly hits you and you cover your mouth with your hands. 

“y/n,” He says, “I have been waiting to ask you this for what feels like forever. And everytime that the plan fell through you somehow managed to make me want to marry you even more. I love you so much, I love everything about you, how excited you get about your work, how much you love Hillary and how supportive you are whenever I do anything. I love our life here, and I want to be with you forever. Will you marry me?” 

You don’t say anything for a second, still shocked, “Yes of course.” He stands and kisses you, slipping the ring onto your finger. “I was wondering when you would ask me.” 

“You knew?”

“I saw it that night after the forum,” You say, “I figured you got nervous.” 

“And you just let me flounder here for almost six months?” 

“Yes,” You smile, “I figured you wanted to do it on your own terms.” 

“Next time just call me out love, because I sat on this for too long.” 

[badass-at-fandoming]

Just Little Malkavian Things ~

Malkavians these days can do nothing but de-conceptualize, Dement, eat hot chip, and lie.

Since people seemed to enjoy the #JustLittleVentrueThings VTMB adventure, here's a matching Malkavian one. Though I'm gonna be real with ya here, I had less fun D:

I finally figured out why I have such trouble wrapping my head around depictions of Malkavians in VTM media. Books, Storytellers, and fans say it's like having a mental illness and being linked to a massive group chat. But, listen, I've lived around and with mental illness all my life. I've been in massive group chats. Being Malkavian ain't like that.

It IS like being an early-twenties English major in the midst of an existential crisis, over-worked and cross-faded outta your skull and watching horror movies to Cope(TM)

So it's like drugs. It's like you had too much weed and too much wine and are let loose on Los Angeles. Which. My friends and I have and we, coincidentally, also "fought" a stop sign. The Malkavian PC never really seemed like a character to me: she's like a collection of cliches and dude-bros doing blunts while watching slasher movies. I named her Liotta after the Psychic Shop owner, and I'm sad Liotta didn't really get to be a person.

I wasn't surprised by any of the dialog. It's a pattern. Alliteration, allusion, animal joke. Alliteration, allusion, animal joke. It lost its charm.

Often, I didn't know what the FUCK I was saying. Which is the Malkavian Experience(TM), according to Rosa.

Anyway

Nonsense time

Most characters have an extra paragraph of dialog to Acknowledge That You Are A Malkavian. Some get an extra conversation branch. For example, there's lots of new Bertie dialog and he was all impressed Liotta knows about Gehenna and Thin-bloods <3. The Anarchs characters, especially Skelter, get a lot more. Skelter, Ash, and Liotta totally vibe.

If you sneak around the Santa Monica drug house, they talk about Mercurio?? Hello?? Mercurio, you bent Masquerade by not getting beat up real good.

Zero pretense about Voerman. Yes, I have DID; yes, I am making it your problem.

When Liotta talked to Beckett, he said the DID was "something to look forward to." Goddamnit, Beckett. That's not how the Bane or mental illness works! >:-(

I've never sneaked before!!! Did you know that the Tong AND the American gang downtown have fakes in their suitcases??? Like, Full On, "it's just stuffed with newspapers, brah." They were going to kill each other over newspapers. For some reason the Tong brought the REAL suitcase along too, but I'm so past having VTM make any sort of sense. It's fine.

Accidentally pissed off Nines. I meant farmer (affectionate) and Nines thought I meant farmer (derogatory). :(

The Dementation powers are (a) pretty purple loop-de-loops, (b) not as effective as Dominate (reaaaallyyy missed a good AOE attack), and (c) oddly enough, gave more compassionate dialog choices. I mean. In the pen-and-paper version, Dementation isn't conflict-focused, so the devs had to jigger it to use as attacks. But I was touched when Liotta made Hannah believe she was Paul, so Hannah got to say goodbye. Making Samantha believe Liotta was a pet turtle was funny and spared her the pain of her friend vanishing a second time. Heather thinks her entire experience was a dream and returns to her life, more or less unscathed.

Boris?? Asked Liotta to kill Venus for him???? DUDE, WHAT. I didn't know he could counter-offer!! What happens if you take up his offer? Who controls Confession? Does it close down??

Pro Tip: don't trust the pale woman in a cowboy stripper outfit who comes out of your vent and tells you everything's fine.

I went through an ENTIRE Ventrue playthrough without puking and Liotta ate one (1) unhoused person and blew chunks. I didn't realize Diseased Blood was a threat. What happens if you skip the Plague-bearer quest? Should you just never chomp on the Downtown unhoused community?

Strauss called Liotta "young one" and I was like, sir. You're not Beckett, you can't trick me.

A rat dances in the Downtown sewers and tells Liotta that the grass is greener in someone else's asshole.

And also will take you places.

Do you know what it's like for a Capri Sun to suddenly start speaking and offer taxi services.

LaCroix: how did Bach find me??? also LaCroix: [names his company after himself] [lives in Ventrue Tower]

Liotta told Beckett that Kindred are a joke and I got extra EXP for being so sneaky.

DMP produced snuff films even before Andrei???!!!! I thought all the blood was from the lil geo-dudes.

Liotta agreed with Andrei that Caine is here and boot-scooting around in his lil Angst Mobile. :D

As bad as Liotta was in group fights, she repeatedly made bosses cower and stand quietly while she beat them to death. Andrei had a full on lay-on-the-floor temper tantrum in his war form and Liotta just. Smacked him until he exploded. She didn't even take damage!

Imalia's computer password is ALSO "cleopatra." Just like Tawni's! Dual reference to the Embrace type

IDK why I never asked this before, but, um, who does Mitnick share the bunk bed with? Barabus..?

I went back to the Empire Hotel Penthouse suite to fetch the educational book and the Russian mob dudes were still there?? Hello, sirs, your leader is dead. You can leave now.

Liotta heard the real thoughts of the Red Dragon hostess...and also some debate about the Dark Father's presence in LA, heehee.

I thought it was fun that one of the "take me away, Cabbie!" taxi replies mentioned riding in a car like father and child. :D

"Why is the Mandarin giggling at me" is a sentence that came out of my face.

With the different dialog options, sometimes it's impossible to be polite to NPCs. For example: Liotta could only call VV "dolly/doll/toy doll" instead of her preferred names; the Chinatown gun seller felt frightened, thinking we were Police or Immigration.

Some great fourth wall breaks in the dialog: "I don't want to get involved either, but tell that to whoever is playing me!" to Beckett after the Giovanni Mansion.

"You can't spell success without whatever the hell my name is."

"If I cannot win with effort, I will cheat my way to victory. I am gone." Funnily enough, this was my first run where I didn't hack in to boost stats.

"I just want it to end. I feel like I've been playing forever."

Some nice wider lore references: "I devour knowledge like the great worm devours the corpse of society" could refer to how Salout, in tapeworm form, is devouring Tremere's body and destabilizing the Clan and/or Kindred night society.

"They should have a channel devoted to you in my head" to Beckett. In his Diary, Beckett witnesses Malkavians devouring Malkav and may or may not join the Cobweb (PS check out this great fanfic where he does).

This made me stare into space for a minute and question my life choices. During the Sabbat massacre, Liotta didn't snack on any of the blood doll ghouls (ya know, the ones with the eyes gouged out). She had such high Inspection + Finance that she had $4k in her wallet and could buy blood. I wanted to test a rumor that if you don't feed on the blood dolls, you get extra EXP. You do. BUT anywAY, right before the Tremere miniboss, Liotta was sword-fighting some goons and the blood doll...attacked him for her? Like. He moved on his own. When the goon was dead, the blood doll asked if Liotta was all right. This might have been a glitch but...the horrific implications that those men are still conscious, still willful, still feeling. ACK. I hope they got out the next morning.

RIP Ming Xiao. Flamethrower right to the tiddies.

I stole @ryttu3k's idea and noclipped through the werewolf section. Liotta still killed the Garou, but I didn't want the stress.

Caine is very Caine. "Don't you get it? We've already been judged!"

Liotta went Anarch because what little backstory I came up for her was she considered Smiling Jack her sire. Nines complimented her ability to murder.

Sheriff got sooooo dizzy that he fell over right onto Liotta's sword 27 times.

Dancing werewolf ending! Seemed fitting. :D

[seancekitsch]

Powerplay: a Marko x Reader fic

part 3 of 3, previous part here

Warnings: harassment, vamp typical shit, cursing, death/killing, smut mentions, reference to the book

Marko was a good boyfriend, it turned out, except for when he wasn’t. You liked the sweet little kisses, the teasing way he snaps his jaw at you when you catch him staring, the way he holds you while you’re falling asleep even though he doesn’t have to.You like that he listens, more than your friends do. You rang another friend the other day, and were left waiting with the endless ringing again. You want to be upset, but they weren't as close as you were hoping they’d be. Your close friends were back in New York, three thousand miles and a year of working behind you. And they were Marko and his brothers now.

You love the way he keeps you safe, your protector being probably the deadliest thing you could encounter. You love the way he laughs, always joking and jovial. You always thought his smile hid a joke like some mystery, but now you're in on it too, and it's the funniest thing. There is no secret  joke, just Marko seeing the world with eyes full of humor. He sees the little things, and now he shows them to you. You love the way you can speak without speaking. Silence followed by heavy laughter, kisses, and understanding.

You even love that week you were on your period and every night he ate you out until you screamed yourself hoarse.

“Marko,” you’d say, “lets ride.”

And he would obey, letting you hop on the back of his bike, always after work, always too fast. You'd like to imagine him crashing as the wind whips your hair, stings your face. What that would be like, huh. It's what you assume he feels like when he flies, free and wild in the night. He caters to your every whim, makes you feel the happiest,  as long as the sun has set.

He was less a good boyfriend when he was hungry, brooding and refusing to get close to you. He would be irritable, pick fights, silent treatment. He would purposely leave you in silence, but he wouldn't ask for a taste, despite your offering. He respected you enough not to try that. Other times, he would make sure that you could hear every thought in his head. His thoughts sounded like shouts, always telling you to get the fuck away, always reminding you how vulnerable you were, how easy to kill you’d be. It's almost maddening. You never knew which nights he would be the silent ones, or which ones would be the loud ones.  

“Marko,” you’d say, “This is just temporary.”

You don't even have to think the words for him to know what you mean. Or those moments during the day when it's highlighted just how different he was, would always be. He would always be twenty and handsome and having fun, with a guaranteed group of friends. With a family he belonged with. You would always age, you would have to find something else to do eventually, and you would probably have to leave Santa Carla, because he wouldn't. You could always bore him, with Marko one day realizing you can't keep up anymore. You would always be weaker, and no matter how often Marko puts you first, he always holds the power. You’re only the decision maker because he lets you be. He could always take that power back. Find someone new when you get old and he stays the same age. He will always be this way, and you will always change.

It's those nights you think of pulling away from him, and you hope he never hears those thoughts. You love him, but he’ll always say it's not temporary. It's not true.

You love Marko today.

The jingling of the bell snaps you from your thoughts, head rising only to be face to face with one of the surf nazis. Huh, guess the boys didn’t clear all of them out. This one was tall, a skinhead with an upturned pug-like nose, wearing a lot of denim with eyes alight with mayhem in his agenda. Oh, please don’t fucking break anything.

“Hey Baby,” he sneers. God, his voice was even worse than his looks and his smell.

“Not your baby,” you deadpan, wishing desperately for him and his friends to leave without stealing or breaking anything forcing a sickeningly sweet customer service tone, “But what can I help with?”

Maybe good customer service will get them in-and-out quicker.

“That hot little body of yours could help me out,” his tone is outright mocking. God, is this how dudes like these think they can pull? You can’t even hide your grimace as you flinch at the words. If there was anyone else, just one other person working tonight, this wouldn’t be happening. You know this. Working nights alone practically invited this brand of harassment.

fuckfuckfuck. It’s way too early for Marko to be sniffing around, and if you can get them to leave the next four hours of your shift will be miserable. The man laughs, and it makes your blood run cold. He leans over the counter, past the little curtain of incense haze; breaching your only barrier of safety.

“I bet it could. Couldn’t it, baby?”

His large arms press against the glass of the counter and your eyes immediately flicker from them to the back room, where your knife is. He straightens up.

“Cat got your tongue?”

You frown, meeting his eyes now.

“Do you plan on buying anything we sell?” The Bauhaus record you have playing over the speaker skips, and you almost jump. It's just enough to break the tension, the rising bile in your throat clearing.

“I come in here for you, girlie,” and he affirms what you already know. Now that half of the surf nazis were gone, they were struggling to maintain their turf on the boardwalk. So harassment and torture at their hands were on the rise. Many people over the past few weeks had been dodging them in the stores around here, and now apparently they had caught wise to that. Done with it, you take a step back, leaning yourself against the back shelf to retreat further into the curtain of nag champa.

“You can fuck off,” you offer, gaining confidence as you realize the bong behind your head was more than affordable, and if you broke it over his head, you could cover it.

He opens his mouth to respond, but-

The bell on the door jingles again. A familiar smile fades into a scowl. Marko looks like one of those greek heroes tonight, maybe if only because his presence saves you from the gross comments (or anything worse) of the shaved head across the counter. He immediately distracts the surfer from you.

“Why don’t you get outta here, buddy? Me and the lady were just discussing me trying her out later,” the man spits, and you almost gag at the mental image of that.

Marko laughs, that high pitched full body laugh you love so much.

“That’s funny, buddy,” He throws the man’s nickname back at him, “Cause that’s my old lady right there.”

You loved and hated when he called you that. Technically, you are a year older than the year he turned. The first time you all realized that, Paul gave himself a stomach ache laughing over the ‘older woman’ Marko brought home. Tonight though, the nickname brings the biggest smile to your lips.

“Damn right I am,” you chime in, “and you couldn’t take the hint.”

Marko seals the deal by striding over to where you are and pulling you into a kiss over the counter. It doesn't take much more for the surf nazi to leave, the jingling of the door opening announcing his departure.

“I’m gonna make sure we kill the rest of them before the week is out.”

He waits the three hours it takes for you to be able to lock up behind the counter with you, loosely holding your hips and following you around, only moving away from you to pick out new records when one ends. 

Come over tonight, Marko thinks, and you know it isn't a suggestion. You kiss him hard on the mouth, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him to press against you. His arms automatically find themselves around your waist, squeezing you as he eagerly returns the kiss. This wouldn’t be your first time at their dilapidated hotel, with sprawling caves and chandeliers and beautiful spray painted murals on the walls. The first time you were there, he brought you there while the others were hunting. He fucked you on any surface not covered with knick knacks they'd collected or takeout containers, leaving you to sheepishly blush while he proudly talked to the others when they returned, deep red hickies and a bite mark on your collarbone you couldn't hide. The next time, the boys and Star and Laddie welcomed you in with booze and a feast and a fun night where you had to crawl out of the cave at dawn looking like a mess. Either way, he waits for you to agree before he leads you to his motorcycle.

“Star, Why don't you just become one of us already?” Paul whined, holding his half eaten eggroll like a cigar, “You're already living with us, Mama. We just want to be friends forever.”

She scrunches her nose, smoothing the long hair of Laddie’s head in her lap. The boy was tired, their unofficial little brother or not, he was still an eight year old.

“Or maybe,” David starts, dropping down from the rim of the check in counter of the hotel, “Star can just have some fun with them and we don’t even have to do what Max wants.”

The boys all laugh, Dwayne’s shoulders turning inward, while Paul smacks Marko in the chest behind you. Whoever Max was, he was someone that could give the boys orders; something you didnt think possible besides their own little group hierarchy. You'd figured out pretty quickly that David was the leader, Marko was his right hand, Dwayne was the left hand; with Marko enforcing, playful and impulsive, and Dwayne being the level head, logical and the one who often kept the boys from fighting and made them all remember why they loved each other so much. Paul was the baby. Both literally and figuratively. He was the messiest, the most likely to slip up;. He was also the one turned last. So when Star decides to be one of them, she’ll be the new baby. Then Laddie.

“No,” Star affirms, “No, I can’t do that to Michael.”

“Michael,” David tests the name on his lips, tongue darting out to lick them after he says it. The curly haired brunette on the boardwalk had a name. Then his eyes flick to you. There's a sharpness to them that feels so different from Marko’s. David is trying to stare through you, not to look inside of your head, to look past it, to see any weakness. A challenge.

“Who’s Max?” you speak up from your spot on Marko’s lap. You can feel him tense under you, but David smiles.

“You don't know about Max? Marko, you didn’t tell her about Max?”

Marko’s hand wraps around your wrist as David continues.

“Max knows all about you, y/n. There’s a reason you're here.”

Here as in, still alive in a vampire den, or here tonight specifically?

Mind thing? You think, and Marko leans his head down against your shoulder as he nods.

“So he knows Marko and I are X-men? Is he Professor X?”

You hear Dwayne and Paul chuckle from the other side of the circle, and Dwayne mutters, “Yeah something like that,” as he swats his hand at Paul’s mesh-covered chest.

“He sired us,” David clarifies.

“You feel it right?” changing the subject, “You feel like you need to be near Marko?”

Marko squeezes your wrist in encouragement, and you nod.

“He’s my boyfriend.”

“That's not what I mean.”

You know what he means. It's the way you feel Marko before you see him, the way you can never sneak up on him.

You nod again.

“That’s what Max wanted to know. Marko, do you wanna tell her, or should I?”

What does he mean? You think and the man below you perks up.

Come with me. His palms grip your hips and gently push you to stand, and he follows suit before taking the lead.

He leads you towards the mouth of the cave, where you enter and away from any listening ears.

“So you know how David is dating Star?” he asks, voice low and close to you in the shadows.

“If that’s what they’re doing,” you joke, and he laughs along with you.

“Well, he thought they had what we have, and that's why she’s with us.” He reaches for your hands to hold them, dropping any playfulness from before.

“I’m supposed to turn you, Max thinks. He’s a lot older than us, and he says some vampires have mates or something similar to that. Others they have some deep mental connection with. The guys… we can hear each other sometimes if we try hard, because we’re a pack. I don't have to try with you and that's why Max thinks it's different.”

Turn you? Like, capital T- Turn you? Into one of them? If he turned you, you’d never see the sun again; never feel its warmth. You’d have to drink blood, and human blood at that. You’d become a killer, and you’d have to keep killing. While you aren’t innocent, killing kind of seems like it would be a stretch for you. Some of their victims had to be innocent, but would your hunger corrupt your morals one day?

It's like he can see the wheels turning in your head, ability to hear your thoughts or not.

“Y/n, you don't have to. Fuck, this was dumb to bring up. David thought you were ready, but if you don't want to I won't make you…” He trails off, visibly a little more deflated.

But if you did, you would be on the same level as Marko. All of the insecurities you have about your relationship would just… stop existing. Your relationship’s expiration date would disappear, your fears about having to leave him or him leaving you would disappear. You'd have people and a place to belong and lover and guaranteed group of friends to be a new family.

“How does it work, Marko?” your voice surprises him, and in honesty, he brought you to the mouth of the cave to give you an out. If you wanted to leave here, leave him specifically, he was going to let you.

“You gotta drink, uh, vampire blood.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

You shrug.

“Are you sure? There's no take backs for this,” Marko’s voice is stern, unlike you ever heard it before.

Deadly sure, Marko.

He smiles, slowly like the moon rising in the night before it crescendos into the wide toothy grin you're so used to seeing.

Marko leads you back into the den of the cave where the others are hanging out.

Dwayne is the first to approach the two of you.

“Everything okay?”

You nod thankfully, offering him a smile.

Paul swoops in next.

“You better be tellin’ me you're joining the fam, chica!”

He tries to drape his arm around your shoulder, but Marko pushes him away playfully, both of the boys smiling.

“Let’s get this girl a drink!” Marko shouts, and the guys start up hollering and laughing.

Marko leads you back to where you had originally been sitting, his designated folding chair. He gestures to you to sit down, while he looks to David for something. Over his shoulder, you can see Star frowning as she watches on.

“Glad you got to talk it out,” David remarks as he hands a bottle of wine to Marko. Maybe you’ll be able to get used to his mannerisms in half a century. Marko hands off the bottle of wine to you, and your hands dip with the weight of it.

The wine bottle is bejeweled, another do it yourself project that the guys seem to love so much. It's heavy in your hands, dark and unseeing down the neck of it, but full. Marko crouches down between your legs, palms flat against your thighs as everyone waits with bated breath. You uncork the bottle, noticing the dark red staining on the cork, and knowing exactly what’s in it now. Two shaky hands bring the bottle to your lips, tilting your head back as you let the contents flow into your mouth, filling it. The ‘wine’ is thick, warm and salty but feels like it's already intoxicating you from just being in your mouth.

“That’s all Marko’s blood, you know,” David remarks, and you swallow deeply. All Marko. He drained his blood for you, weakened himself for you. Your eyes flicker to him, and he smiles up at you from his spot between your legs.

You smile back at him, widely, teeth stained with blood.

[andreafmn]

Running In Circles - Chapter 4

Word Count: 3,783

Characters: Female Reader Rossi Character, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ”Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia

Story Description: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Criminal Minds, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and CBS Network. The only thing I own is Arden Rossi, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ story line.

Chapter: 4/?

A/N: These next chapters are really just gonna be the necessary episode that contributes to the character's storyline. I'll try my best to compress them into fewer chapters but some I do need for my storyline. If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

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Chapter 4

It’s funny how life moves so quickly, but agonizingly slow at the same time.

We had been on the hunt for the prince of darkness after he resurfaced 26 years after what we thought was his last crime in California. He had been across the 48 continuous states, leaving his mark of crimes all over the map. Initially, we were confused as to why he would reappear in Los Angeles if he never hit the same city twice until we noticed a pattern. Billy Flynn was recreating his original murders to taunt Matt Spicer, a survivor, and tell him he’d be going after Spicer’s family because he wanted recognition for the murder that had made Spicer a “city hero”, he wanted to be part of the story. They were horrible and vile crimes one after the other and we were working nonstop to catch him. The case took a turn when we found out he was going after Ellie and Kristin Spicer, Matt’s daughter, and sister, respectively.

The case took a turn when we sent Spicer and Morgan to retrieve the family thinking Flynn was going to take them from Matt’s house. But it was too late, he had gotten there before them. The duo decided to go to Kristin’s house believing he needed privacy to conduct whatever he was planning. Hotch, Prentiss, and I were in a car as we got intel from Morgan, waiting on the address of the sister’s house. But it didn’t make sense, that wasn’t personal enough for him. It didn’t tie into the story. Being stuck in traffic was exasperating, and it only got worse once we lost cell reception in the middle of a call.

Against my better judgment, we headed to Kristin’s apartment where we found out she had been gone for hours and Morgan had never arrived.

“Something must have changed,” Emily expressed.

“The cells are down,” Kurzbard chimed. “Now how the hell do you find them?”

“What would cause Morgan to change his like that when he knows he can’t tell us?” My father spoke up, worry evident in his eyes.

“The unsub had Spicer’s sister and daughter; Morgan knew he didn’t have a lot of time.” Hotch analyzed.

“So, his first guess had to be right.”

“The unsub attacked Spicer specifically through his family,” Emily commented.

“How long has Spicer’s sister lived here?”

“6-7 months.”

“Well, that’s why they didn’t come here.”

“If the unsub wants to hurt Spicer, hell do it someplace that means something to him. Morgan must have realized the same thing.” I thought. “The unsub and Spicer do share one place in common.”

“Santa Monica.”

“Where he killed his parents,” I finished.

“Let’s go.” Hotch started the quick walk to the cars to speed off to Spicer’s childhood home, where we hoped to find Morgan and the Spicers.

Once we arrived the front yard was covered with emergency vehicles, my mind spiraling to the worse possible scenario. We were already one man down; Flynn had gotten to Spicer. Kristin was in rough shape and Flynn had taken Ellie. Morgan had a pretty nasty head wound, but being the strong-headed man he was he just wanted to get back to work.

“Guys, I’m not going to any hospital until we find that little girl.” He directed himself to the EMT. “Now, please just put a bandage on it.”

“Morgan, what’s the notebook?” I motioned to the small book in front of him.

“I asked the sister to tell me everything she could remember about the unsub.”

“And what’s her condition?”

“It’s bad.”

“I’ll go check on her,” Emily offered. She left with the ambulance and hopefully we could get more information out of her.

Everyone knew Morgan wasn’t in perfect condition to continue working, but we also knew he wouldn’t allow us to make him rest. JJ and Reid arrived at the scene with satellite phones to allow communication to continue while the phone towers were down.

“Any word on Ellie?” JJ asked, clearly worried about the innocent little girl that had been brought into this tragedy. Morgan glared at her with such an intensity we all got uncomfortable. “I was just…”

“It’s not you,” I comforted, going out to follow Morgan, Hotch trailing behind.

Outside he called Garcia, asking for her to run the plates on the RV, treating her coldly. I knew he was desperate, but Penelope was worried, as were the rest of us. Something much worse could’ve happened to him; he could have ended up like Spicer.

“You know, she really needs to be more professional sometimes.” Derek turned.

“She gets the job done every time,” Hotch defended.

“I told him, Hotch.” His voice cracked. “I told him that we should wait for backup but he wouldn’t listen to me. We split up and he headed around back before I could stop him.”

“Morgan, sometimes when it comes to family common sense and procedure go out the window.”

“You do the best you can,” I comforted, laying a hand on his shoulders to let him know he wasn’t alone.

“This unsub raped the aunt and then beat her for no reason. She didn’t resist, guys. And he still pistol-whipped her until her ribs were crushed. He killed Spicer while he was on his knees. He was unarmed. This guy’s a pure psychopath. I want this guy.”

“And we’ll get him.”

“Well, we better do it fast. Taking Ellie was like a game to him. The sick bastard thought it was funny. He’s gonna get pissed off at her, she’s nothing but a little girl. She’s gonna show him fear, and when she does… he’s gonna kill her.”

“Then, what are we doing standing around? Let’s go,” I tried my best to encourage.

We all quickly headed back to the precinct, needing to calculate what his net moves would be. He changed his methods suddenly; all patterns were out the window. Flynn wasn’t devolving he was becoming more calculate, we had to find the ends to his means. And Derek’s attitude wasn’t helping to ease the tension we were all feeling. Thankfully, Emily entered at the right moment. We couldn’t run the plates, possibly Kristin had gotten them wrong, but she remembered something crucial. The radio. Flynn listened to the radio following the sound of his name in the mouths of newscasters, and although this could help us, the LAPD had released everything we knew about the RV, about Ellie, and about him.

“That might force him to dump the RV,” my dad said.

“Or kill…” Spencer started but quickly stopped knowing this wouldn’t help appease the strained situation.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“He could’ve killed you and the sister, but he didn’t. He kept you alive, he can’t be surprised that we know what he’s driving and that he has a hostage,” I explained, my father nodding his head in agreement.

We knew he listened to the radio but not which station, but an idea surfaced in JJ. We could try to work with the Emergency Alert System. Quickly, she got to work to be able to get out a message that we were sure would reach Flynn. On one side of the room, Emily and Morgan were talking about Kristin and what she had made him promise her. The safekeeping of Ellie. Kristin said it wasn’t fair of her to ask that, but Morgan wouldn’t break that promise.

As JJ worked the bureaucratic sinkhole that was the EAS, we got word that Flynn was currently in another house with Ellie. When we arrived at the scene, he was gone, but not for the lack of trying to from the neighbors. They had tried to stop him, but he had already taken that family’s car and was able to speed off. We needed to work even quicker than before, he was getting desperate.

Inside the RV he discarded, Ellie’s hair was found on the floor. Derek got enraged, but Spencer reassured him: “Why would you disguise someone you were going to kill?”

Looking for clues inside, Derek found a pipe and I found a newspaper. As they fixated on more clues from the underlined words on it: “bright, happy child,” Spencer pointed out, Derek thought back on what Flynn had said back at the Spicer house. Flynn was after Ellie all along.

One thing we were wrong on the profile, he was stuck in the delusion of believing he was some sort of grandparent to Ellie; she wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t let Matt survive. In a matter of seconds, the gears in the case started shifting at full speed. Once JJ got through to the Madame Secretary, Hotch assigned her to hostage negotiation through the system, trying to find a way to draw him out. On the other hand, Reid and I were looking over some newspapers that were stored in the RV, the murders we might have thought were his first might not have been. As soon as the lights came back on and the cell towers were up we were contacting Garcia to check the records on a murder investigation from 1968.

Garcia has always worked fast and well, this time it was no different.

“So, Nora Flynn was a prostitute and a drug addict living in a desert community just outside of Los Angeles. It appears bikers were her stock in trade, rough bikers. And one fateful day she and a client were murdered by her 13-year-old son Billy. Shot to death. The costumer, ironically named John, was able to tell the police before he died that Billy made him beg for his life and then shot him anyway.”

“That’s him,” Morgan commented.

“And he was convicted, but...”

“He’s a juvenile,” I said.

“Right. So at 18, he was released in 1973, never heard from again,” Penelope continued.

“Oh, he was heard from,” Emily spoke up.

“And he never released a statement as to why he killed them, although it does appear his childhood was horrific. I’m sending you a picture of him on the day he was released to your PDAs.”

“make sure you send the files to JJ,” Hotch instructed.

“Of course, my liege. Garcia bids you ad…”

She was cut off by Morgan, hopefully, so he could apologize for being so cold. “Garcia, wait a minute.”

He took the phone and left to a more private corner to talk to our tech genius. Also, Hotch had gone outside to help JJ with the tough job she had to do; I did not want to be in her shoes right now. We were all standing around in a circle listening to JJ, we could tell she was nervous and picking her words carefully. At first, it was a little rough, but as soon as she tapped into her motherly instincts it was going way smoother. Hopefully, it hit the nail on the head.

Then we received some unfortunate news, Kristin had passed away. The look of defeat on Derek’s face was painful, Ellie was alone now. But there was some hope – Flynn had let Ellie go. JJ had succeeded. We sped off to the house where Billy Flynn was hiding. Upon arrival we were met with the LAPD, they had a direct line to Flynn sent in and were waiting for contact. It rang as soon as we got there, he was watching us.

“He wants to talk to you,” Kurzbard extended the phone towards Derek.

“What?” His tone was pointed, laced with anger and desperation. “He wants me to come in.”

Morgan started walking towards the house after exchanging some words with Hotch. My heart was beating a million miles an hour and I held onto Emily to stabilize myself. We had no eyes or ears on the inside of the house, and anything could happen whilst we were outside and Derek inside.

A couple of minutes went by until ten shots rang through the house. My heart dropped and tears spilled from my eyes unconsciously. I was expecting for the worse as my hands flew to my gun, ready to enter the house, but Emily held me back as Derek calmly walked out of the house. Emily and Spencer accompanied officers to survey the scene and I stayed behind with my father and Hotch to make sure Derek was okay. My father hugged my shoulders as we watched the reunion between Ellie and Morgan, who thankfully came out of the house unscathed.

On the flight home, I couldn’t help but shed a few tears as the adrenaline from the case was wearing down. Next to me, Derek noticed my mood shift and sat closer to me.

“What’s up, baby girl? What’s got you like this?”

“I don’t know, it’s just back at the house we didn’t know anything and all we hard were the shots; I just thought the worst had happened. I’m just being dumb,” I chuckled, trying to downplay how I was feeling. He was the one who went through the traumatic experience, not me.

“Oh come on, you know it would take more than a couple of knocks and a crazy unsub to take me down. You’re gonna have to put up with me for a long time. All of us,” he motioned to the rest of the team. The ones who were still awake nodded and smiled.

But the team would suffer a huge loss before we knew it. This morning JJ, Strauss, and Hotch had been in Hotch’s office right before we were meant to be on the plane to Atlantic Beach. No one knew what they were meeting about, but it had to be serious.

We all left to the case with the underlying question of what the meeting was about. On the plane we stared at JJ until she confessed about the meeting; the Pentagon had offered her a job twice and Strauss wanted her to take it. As much as we wanted to pick her brain about it, there wasn’t too much news. She had a job offer she didn’t want and our boss wanted her to take it. We needed to focus on the case.

At the moment there were two men in custody, 20-year-old Sid and Jimmy. They were claiming they both had consensual sex with our 19-year-old victim Kate after she left a bar with them. Highly doubtful. The need to break them down psychologically became apparent when there were no plot holes found in their stories by the police. We had no body, two suspects, and a limited amount of time.

As soon as we landed, the team got busy with their assignments. JJ was to stay with the parents, Emily and Morgan were in interrogations, dad and Reid to the bar, and Hotch and I to review the interview videos to find any nonverbal clues to disrupt their story. As quickly as we could work so did Garcia. In minutes she gave us a big background into the kids, criminal troublemakers since their preteens.

We watched intently both interviews, Syd’s directly and Jimmy through recording. Syd was prepotent and standoffish since Derek walked in, not much perturbed him, Jimmy on the other hand had a tell.

“He never mentions her by name,” I said as we watched the interview Emily was carrying out with Jimmy.

“Why not?” Detective Mathias asked.

“He’s distancing himself,” Hotch added. “Depersonalizing the victim.”

“Look at the way he shifts his weight and cracks his neck. His behavior was consistent until Kate was mentioned,” I noted and Hotch nodded. Mathias seemed very interested in the way we analyzed every single movement.

Then, both asked for a polygraph test. As we waited to hear from the polygraph results we got to work on theories.

“So, what if they didn’t do it then we’re back to nothing?” Mathias doubted.

“One of them knows where Kate is,” I said nonchalantly.

“How can you be sure?”

“Because an innocent person doesn’t sit quietly for three days. They get angry and defensive.”

“These guys are going out of their way to appear calm and in control,” Derek added. “They’ve got something to hide.”

We knew they were stalling with the polygraphs, all we had to do is figure out what they knew about Kate’s whereabouts. Hotch then sent JJ back to dig into the parents a little, why would have Kate gone with these two boys if everyone else says she wouldn’t have? JJ adamantly turned and headed to the Pearson couple.

“Hotch, we can’t lose her,” I whispered.

“Strauss thinks we’re all replaceable. I went over her head to try to explain that we’re not.”

It wasn’t the answer we wanted, but it’s the one that we got. At the end of the day, we could be short a team member. And worse, our family would be separated.

But we had to continue working, they had passed the tests. We needed to continue the interviews. Something they were counting on. Dad went in to talk to Syd and Reid talked to Jimmy, the latter having a bit of a short fuse. We were going to continue on and on until they broke.

We had less than three hours until they were released. We needed everything we could get. As Derek pushed Syd, and Emily left Jimmy, Hotch got a call. I quickly picked at his cell and the screen read Strauss. So, I excused myself and left Emily to analyze the pictures that were on Syd’s phone of that night.

“She’s leaving, isn’t she?” I asked, reading Hotch’s defeated posture. He nodded. “There’s nothing you can do?”

“They’re not asking. It’s a direct order,” he rubbed his temples.

“So, she’s going to DC?” He nodded once more. I knew it was hard on him the most. He was the person we all looked onto to keep us united, but this really was out of his hands.

“I really wish there was more I could do,” he sighed. We shared a quick hug in the empty hallway, a way of reassuring him that he didn’t have to carry this news by himself. As we detached, he shared a small smile of relief, a small weight lifting off his shoulders.

“Well, come on. There’s no good in dwelling on it right now. Let’s catch these scumbags and bring back Kate.”

The interviews carried on. We couldn’t be distracted by the sad news. We were picking apart every breath, every movement, every word. Then, as she perused the pictures, JJ noticed in a Kate-less one her phone was present. But, Kate’s phone was in possession of her mother since it was recovered from Kate’s hotel room. The girl had made it back to the hotel.

We started forming our hypothesis. Most of the story they believed to be true because it actually was, they did take her back to the hotel, and they did leave. But Jimmy had felt rejected by Kate since she didn’t pay him much attention, and he had the perfect excuse to come back. So, when he left Syd back home, he went back with Kate’s phone. He lured her outside, possibly drugged her, and took her to his boat. Spencer pointed out that Jimmy was obsessed with the details of the port and Mathias added that at that time of night the blood from the catch would attract hundreds of sharks.

“We asked him if he killed her,” I sighed. “He didn’t. Asked where her body is.”

“He doesn’t know,” Emily added, following my train of thought.

“Technically those aren’t lies,” Spencer stated.

“How can you prove this?”

“We’ll get them to admit it,” Hotch answered Mathias.

Back into the interview room we were. We had our bait, and we were gonna reel in the answers.

After we pushed and got no concrete answers, we knew we had to search the ocean. I left with JJ ad Hotch to the port in hopes that she would be found. The Coast guard was 70 miles out and there was no sign of the young girl. We were getting worried.

“Kate’s an amazing swimmer. If he didn’t kill her when she hit the water, there’s still a chance,” JJ hoped.

“JJ, that’s three days in the ocean,” Hotch stated.

“I know,” she said in a defeated tone.

“This might be a long shot, but she would have been thrown near a dangerous area, which would mean there would be buoy markers. It could be possible that, if she was still alive when she hit the water, she swam all the way to a buoy, and since it’s been three days and hopefully, she has no major wounds, there’s a high probability she could’ve survived.” JJ looked up at me and gave me a small smile.

“Nice catch, (Y/N).” Hotch quickly punched in the number for the helicopter and told them to look closely at any buoys they saw around the area.

“I have a feeling about this one, JJ.” She hugged my shoulders. “We’re gonna find her.”

It wasn’t long until we got the news. Mathias came back to tell us they had found her hugging a buoy, alive. The three of us let out a breath of relief, and the unit chief and I stayed back as JJ went to tell the parents the good news. Although no words were exchanged, when we both looked at each other we knew this victorious feeling would be a short-lived one for the team.

Now that it was over JJ would be gone. When we got back, everyone else knew. JJ came out of the briefing room with a defeated look in her eyes, after a mad Hotch had stormed into his office. It didn’t take long for these brilliant minds to figure out the exchange.

“It’s done,” she sighed.

“It can’t be that simple,” Morgan protested.

“It is,” I said.

“You knew?”

“Figured it out back at the precinct,” I answered JJ. “Hotch got the call while Derek was interviewing Syd. It wasn’t too hard to map out.”

“This job is hard enough. What’re they trying to do, bury us?”

“She’s too good,” Emily said.

“She’s on everybody’s wish list,” dad added. “Our loss is somebody else’s gain.”

“They can’t just take you away,” Spencer said sadly. But they could, and they did.

It was a hard goodbye. She wasn’t truly gone but she wouldn’t be with us anymore. There wouldn’t be a need for a true grieving period, but the JJ-shaped hole that would fall upon the BAU team would be impossible to fill. Our family would not be fully complete until hopefully one day she came back.

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Tag List: @wanniiieeee @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @ssamorganhotchner

[oftenderweapons]

Papa Noël — Namjoon

Pairing: Namjoon x reader (nicknamed Vixen)

Wordcount: 7.0k

Genre: fluff, smut, engaged rmxr, idol!AU

Rating: 18+

Hello bunnies! Merry Christmas to all of you. I wish you all the best ✨💜

I had to write this thingie because I’m selfish and I had this sort of unholy vision that told me, “you must do it”. And so I did this. 

This fic is set on Namjoon and Vixen’s first Christmas together. The two are engaged (you’ll read about that sooner or later). Unfortunately, Vixen had to attend a dinner party at which she couldn’t bring Namjoon (their relationship is still very, very private, and even her parents don’t know who she’s dating, plus they respect her privacy). Namjoon spends the night with his friends, but decides to head back home and wait for Vixen — who is unforturnately late. As soon as she arrives, he is quite eager to warm her up and let her unwrap her Christmas gift. But he’d much rather unwrap her first.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: I’ll be on the naughty list forever after writing this. Swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, DDLG dynamics/daaddy kink, dirty talking, striptease, lingerie fetish, light foot fetish, very lowkey roleplay, sex toy (glass dildo), oral fixation, masturbation (female receiving) light bondage (satin bow), spanking (with rings... ahem), thigh riding, cum play and cum eating, mentions of oral sex (male receiving), a very emotional proposal, mentions of unprotected sex (never ever ever do that unless you’re 10000% sure BOTH YOU AND YOUR PARTNER(S) ARE CLEAN)

Suggested playlist: I Just Melt - Sabrina Claudio // Short Red Silk Lingerie - Sabrina Claudio // Santa Baby - Ariana Grande, Liz Gillies // I’ll Be Home For Christmas - Demi Lovato // Wishlist - Alaina Castillo

In case you need it, here is my masterlist :)

Enjoy!!! 

————————————————

Papa Noël (French) — Santa Claus, en. [Daddy Christmas, lit.]

Namjoon sat on the sofa, his naked foot tapping against the plush carpet. For a second he considered what the actual fuck he was doing in his own living room dressed like that, making an absolute fool of himself. 

Then he remembered the party your firm had organised for Christmas Eve, and the fact that he couldn’t have attended with you. 

He hadn’t asked you to stay home, especially since your mother and father were going to attend too, and your boss and them had been friends for a very long time. 

Obediently, you had followed your father’s will, you had put on your delicious blue velvet dress and you had made sure Namjoon saw you secure the little clip of your suspender belt to your stockings. 

“I won’t be out late.” You had told him as he knelt and secured the small straps of your stilettos around your ankles. 

“I’m a bit mad you’re going to be out, all dolled up, without me.” 

“There’s a ring on my finger, Joonie.” You said. 

“A ring and no fiancé. How inconvenient,” He murmured, letting his palms climb up the back of your thighs, until they met the naked skin above the elastic band of your stockings. “Aren’t they going to ask questions?” He asked, letting his long middle finger slide against the soft satin of your panties. 

“No.” You said. “They know I’m in a relationship. They know I’ll tell them when I deem it appropriate.”

He moved his hand away from your slit, gripping your asscheeks. “Are you ashamed of me?”

“No.” You replied, dry, determined. Damn his paranoia. “You know there’s nothing I want to do more than use you as my toy boy, my future trophy husband.”

He grinned and sunk his nails into your flesh. “I’m just trying to keep you from rumors, my love.” You replied. “Not all the people in there are as discreet as I am.” You cupped his face. “And it’s not like I’m leaving you all alone.”

He nuzzled his face against your lap. “Jin and Angel are coming over at Yoongi and Kitten’s. I was invited,” Namjoon explained, taking his hands out of your skirt. 

“I’m glad I’m leaving you in good hands.” 

“It’s our first Christmas together.” He sulked.

“You’ll have me all for yourself tomorrow.” You combed his hair affectionately. “You’re lucky my family doesn’t take this Christmas thing seriously.”

“Will I get breakfast in bed?” He asked, raising to his feet and dwarfing you. 

You studied his figure with your eyes, observing his cream turtleneck that made his skin tone look like molten caramel, the expensive cashmere so soft under your palms, and then the light brown slacks, the shape of his cock so delicious that you couldn’t hold yourself back from tracing it with the tip of your index finger.

“Will I get breakfast in bed?” You asked, taunting him. 

“I don’t think it’s good for my babygirl to have her favourite candy cane first thing in the morning.” He replied, raising an eyebrow and catching your wrist. “I wouldn’t be a responsible daddy.”

“Come on, it’s Christmas.” You replied, whining a little and stretching to reach his mouth. 

He grinned as he saw you struggle, his dimple appearing as you kept pushing yourself on the tip of your toes, trying to touch his lips with yours. His nose scrunched and his eyes shrinked to heated slits as he bent his head down, allowing you access before he tightened his hands on your waist and picked you up, lifting you a few inches from the ground while you tightened your arms around his neck. 

“I’ll think about it.” He murmured on your lips. 

“Please.” You hummed quietly. 

His hand slipped down to your ass and squeezed it. “Maybe.”

You pouted and parted from him. “Then I think I might stay out late. Stay at my parents for the night. Mother always arranges beautiful brunches when I stay there. And Magdalene could enjoy me visiting her. You know, our governess. She raised me.” You said, fixing your dress and wearing your faux fur. 

“Come home. Eleven forty-five. No later.” He said, wrapping a forearm around your hips and spinning you around; you stumbled a little on your heels with the whole motion and the way he joined his lips to yours in a passionate kiss. “I’ve got gifts to deliver.” He said, parting from you and fixing your lipstick. 

“I’ll try.” You said, checking your watch and realising that probably your parents had already sent their driver to get you. 

“I have to go.” You murmured, cupping his cheek. “You know there's nothing I wanted more than spending the evening with you.”

“I know. I’ll wait for you.” He said, fixing a small lock of your hair behind your ear.

He accompanied you to the front door and opened it for you. “Have a nice evening, love.”

“You too.” You replied, completely charmed as he set you free like a delicate, gracious butterfly. 

————————————————

He started getting worried when he realised you were half an hour late. Then forty-five minutes. At midnight thirty-three, he heard some noise at the front door. 

There you were, legs wobbly, giggling at the phone. “I’m home. Yeah. Love you too. Stay warm.” You said softly, and then squealed. “No, I won’t choke on my boyfriend’s enormous dick. I’m super late. He’ll kill me.” Another pause. “No, he won’t kill me with his colossal cock. Stop talking about my fiancé’s cock, you slut!” You erupted in a bubbly laugh.

Namjoon felt his disappointment disappear, just slightly. 

“You could always go choke on Taehyung.” Pause. “Stop rubbing that on my face. I am TINY! It’s not my fault.”

Namjoon heard your snort-laugh. The one you used only with your closest people. He realised you were on the phone with Lace. He relaxed even more. “Gotta blast. Love you. Merry Christmas, you hoe.”

You giggled again as he heard you try to take off your shoes before you lost your balance, leaning on the wall. You hissed and cursed at the shoes. He heard the sound of you taking off your coat. And then you appeared, beautiful, so innocent, standing in the soft light of the Christmas Tree. 

And there he was. Sitting on the sofa. Legs parted wide. Shirtless. Barefoot. In a pair of red satin loose sweatpants with white furry hems at the ankles. And a Christmas hat. 

You swooned. 

“You’re late, little fox.” He said, pinning his forearms to his thighs and leaning forward. 

“I stayed out with Taehyung and Lace. We wanted to call you but I didn’t want to interrupt your previous arrangements.”

Namjoon licked his lips and bit his lower one, rubbing his index finger against his chin. “Jin and Angel kept making sex puns about chimneys and gifts and whatnots. Yoongi literally licked whipped cream off Kitten’s finger.” Namjoon exhaled. “It was painful. To say the least.”

You chuckled as discreetly as you could. 

“Is it funny, Vixen?” He asked, tipping his head back. “You’re forty-five minutes late.”

You sucked your lips past your teeth, lowering your head. “Tae and Lace were at the party. We left for a quick drink. We lost sense of time a little.” You said, flustered.

“I was here, waiting for you and you were out with your best friend and her boyfriend, my friend.” He said, crossing his arms and cocking his head to the side. “Are you listening?”

“Yes. Of course. I’m sorry.”

No, you weren’t. You were staring at his biceps, flexing, his chest expanding with ample breaths, his pectorals twitching. The mole on his chest. The path that it drew up the tendon of his neck, joining the other little mole near his collarbone, all the way up to the one below his plump lip. And the way his skin glimmered deliciously at the delicate lights of the Christmas Tree. You were ready to ask him a picture.

In your uterus was currently burning a blue hypergiant star. Just to clarify, 37 times hotter than the Sun. 

“You’re not listening.” He said, snickering. “I can see it.”

“I tried though.” You said shyly, pouting. 

He smiled and laid against the back of the sofa. “Come here.”

You blinked a couple times, rubbing your hand against your sternum, worried, biting your lip and playing coy. “Can I take off my dress first?”

“Of course, babygirl.” He said, propping his elbows on the pillow behind his back. 

You saw his chest stretch and oh’ed at the vision, making him giggle. “Come on, babe.”

You frowned and felt your ankles wobble as you undid the zipper at your side, bending down to lift your dress up from the lower hem, slipping it off from over your head. 

It took you a while to orient yourself on your way out of your dress, but as soon as you were free, you placed it down folding it neatly over the coffee table, where you noticed a small package wrapped in red paper and a big ribbon. 

“Is that mine?” You asked, batting your lashes at Namjoon. 

“Yes, darling.” He said, his eyes skimming your entire form. “Are you tipsy?” He asked, worried.

“A teensy, tiny bit.” You said. “Literally one glass of champagne, a spoonful of punch and a glass of wine with Tae and Lace. Nothing more.” You said, easing his nerves. He didn’t like when you drank — only because you’re a lightweight and he doesn’t want you to get sick.

He smiled softly as you listed the drinks. “It’s okay, buttercup. I’m not trying to control you. Just making sure that you can take me.” 

You bit your lower lip, nodding. 

“You look delicious, sugardoll.” He said, now finally focusing on your attire.

You smiled cutely and fixed your hair. “You like it?”

“I do, babylove.” He said. “Let me see it from up close.”

You walked closer to him, standing in between his legs. 

“Come on, give me a little twirl.” He said, placing his hand on your waist and helping you make a small, slow spin. You still had your heels on, after all. Just the way he liked it. 

“Let’s take off the big girl shoes, yes? That way you can be all tiny and barefoot for daddy.” He said, finding your wrists and placing your palms on his naked shoulders.

His skin was so hot. To the touch too. 

“Give me your foot, baby.” He said, looking up at you. 

You felt like crying. In the best way possible. 

You complied and his big fingers struggled a little with the small clasp before he managed to free it. 

The other shoe was easier. He diligently placed the stilettos out of the way, by the side of the sofa. “Next these.” He said, laying his hand on the back of your thigh and placing your foot between his legs, so close to his cock, currently laying across his lap, half mast towards his left hip. You noticed he still had a set of rings on, including the one shaped like a thick bear head, which he had bought in honour of the nickname you had assigned him.

He fought with the clip of the suspender belt, vaguely knowing that he should look for a small clasp on the upper elastic band of the stockings, but not knowing how to undo them. He still had a lot to learn, he realised. 

Your spindly fingers assisted him, showing the procedure. “There’s a rubber nub, inside. It grips the stocking and blocks it inside the metal frame, on the outside. You just need to slide the nub out of the frame.” You explained, showing him. 

He observed the movement of your fingers, the suspender strap snapping free. 

“There are other three. You can practice.” You smiled gently. 

He looked at your sweet face, at your eyes glittering in the Christmas lights. He was completely in love. Enchanted. Head over heels. 

He turned his eyes down, looking once more at the suspender strap on the other thigh, caressing your naked skin with the back of his index and middle fingers before hooking them under the fabric of your stocking, spotting a flat rubber surface. That must be the back of the nub. With his thumb, on the outer side, he spotted the nub, hooked in the small metal frame, covered in nylon. He slid it upwards and felt the strap snap. 

“Just like that, daddy.” You said, removing his hat with a smile and caressing his hair. So soft. It smelled like cedarwood, vetiver and patchouli. It smelled like safety, home, reassurance. Passion. Unconditional love. 

You led his hand to the back of your thigh and he percurred the length of the elastic strap to the hem of your stocking. 

You exhaled and closed your eyes as you felt his fingers on your nude leg. 

With the left side undone, he placed your leg down and picked up the other, laying it directly on his lap, where you felt his hardening sex under the sole of your foot. “Don’t press down, babygirl.” He said, making a quick work of the last clasp before looking up at you. 

“Good boy. Quick learner.” You said, caressing his face.

He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek into your palm. His hands flew to your waist and held you there as he scooted closer to the edge of the sofa, coincidentally pushing his cock into your foot. 

However, his focus wasn’t there. His target was your inner thigh, which he licked elegantly, suavely, before moving his mouth along you leg, gripping the hem of your left stocking with his teeth and slowly pulling at it, making the nylon roll down your leg, until it reached your calf. You lifted your leg for him, bringing your ankle and then your foot close to his mouth. He laid back against the sofa, the black sheer stocking dangling from his mouth as he stared at you and cocked an eyebrow teasingly. 

You giggled and squealed at the vision. 

“I hope my feet don’t smell.” You chuckled. 

He pouted. “You never really smell.” He said after letting the garment fall from his mouth. “Really. Your sweat never smells.” He said accompanying your leg down and picking up the other. “And I’ve made you sweat a lot. I would know.”

Again he grabbed your stocking with his teeth, tugging it harder this time, since it looked stuck to your skin. With your assistance, he pulled it all the way down, this time letting it fall straight away to place a kiss on the curve of your foot.

“You’ve got the prettiest little footsies.” He murmured. “They’re babylike. So soft. So small.”

“It’s your feet being exceedingly big. I’m medium sized.” You replied, placing both your feet on the floor.  

“Wow.” He said, staring at you. Now he had time to study the deep red silk slip you had been wearing under your dress, with its delicate white lace applications on your chest and on the lower hem. “I’m the luckiest man alive.”

You giggled, embarrassed before pulling a cocky move, slipping your hands under the silk gown and hooking your thumbs into the sides of your thong, wiggling your hips as you pulled it down and bent to Namjoon’s waist, tucking the accessory into the waistband of his sweatpants. 

“Now you’re the luckiest.” You said, grinning at him mischievously. 

He simply raised his eyebrows, mouth wide, perfectly still for a couple seconds before he leaned his head to the side, looking away, his lips curling up in the smallest smile, making eye contact with you and shaking his head. 

“Don’t think I forgot you being forty-eight minutes late.” He said, leaning forward as you placed your foot on his knee, parting your legs just enough to let him sniff at your wetness. 

“But Santa, dearest, I’ve been a good girl all year.” You said, placing your foot down again and pressing your hands to your lap, bending one knee slightly and letting your body twist a little, side to side. 

You looked like the sweetest, cutest little girl in Namjoon eyes, playing coy, acting shy, feigning innocence and conquering him with all your little charms. 

“And you’ve already brought me my gift. Wouldn’t it be cruel to take it away?” You asked, furrowing your brow and pushing your lower lip forward in the most adorable expression.

“Take your gift, then, darling.”

Your face sparked up, and you turned quickly, bending over to snatch your package. 

Of course Namjoon, with predatorial reflexes, leaned forward to sink his teeth into the round curve of your ass. 

You squealed and stood quickly, a bit surprised. “Joon!”

He simply wrapped his arms around you middle and placed you across his lap, making you sit there, your bent knee offering him the magnificent curve of your hip as he began rubbing the side of your leg. 

For a moment, your eyes closed and you snuggled into his warm, strong chest. “I’m sorry, I used your lotion.”

You sniffed him and melted, rubbing the side of your face against his shoulder. 

“You’re so… mhhhh.” You moaned, speechless.

His chest rumbled with a deep, silent laugh. “You like it, babylove.”

“I love you.” You replied, looking him in the eye.

He kissed your forehead sweetly. “I know, babylove. Open you gift, princess.”

You kissed him on the cheek, his dimple making a brief apparition before you focused on the ribbon, tugging at it gently, using your nails to undo the knots. 

“It’s Lace’s doing. The package.” You said, noticing the small details she always inserted on her special orders from the atelier. You had seen her fabricate the small treasures yourself. 

Namjoon snorted in surprise. “It is.”

“Is it lingerie?” You asked, beaming up and looking at him.

“No, Vixen, open your present.” He said, slightly frustrated as you took your time. Sometimes dealing with you could be a true test of patience for him. Still, he loved you more than everything. And dealing with a brat like you required patience. His best assets in taming you were patience, brains and ruthless gentleness. The more you lost your cool, the more he became icy in his stubbornness and determination. 

Your brow creased with curiosity as you ripped off the paper. The box underneath was plain white leather, designed like a jewellery box, but more curious, especially once you spotted the double crosses on the lid. 

Could it be…?

You looked at Namjoon and lifted the lid. 

Inside, the case was covered in black silk, and right there, laying on a small pillow,  you saw the fanciest, most elaborate toy you had ever set your sight on. 

“You like it, sugardoll?” He asked, pressing a kiss to your temple, looking at your face, studying your expression and trying to read your reaction. 

“Daddy?” You asked, turning to him, tilting your head to look at him properly. 

“Yes, doll?”

“Why was there Lace’s signature package on it?”

“I had it commissioned through her. She knows the artist.” He explained. “She made the package since I’m helpless at those.”

“You had it commissioned?” You asked, eyes wide in amusement.

“For you, yes. A candy cane for my sugar doll.” He explained, moving your hair out of your face. 

“Thank you, daddy.” You replied, politely and gratefully. 

“It’s okay, my love.” He said, his hand still rubbing your outer thigh while his free palm moved to your neck, his index finger moving your chin towards him, his lips landing on yours chastely. 

“It’s really, really pretty.” You said, moving your stare back to the box. 

“It was made for my pretty girl.” He said, running his nose against your cheekbone. “Would you like to try it?” 

You nodded.

He grinned. “Then I want you over my knees, little vixen.”

Obeying, you kneeled on the floor, the sofa low just enough that Namjoon’s thighs didn’t press painfully against your belly. 

“Are your knees safe, babygirl?” He asked, turning your face towards his. 

“Yes, daddy.” You replied obediently. 

“Good girl.” He praised you, taking the case from your hands and gripping the toy in his palm. 

He tried to relax and keep his erection from becoming too much of a bother. That could and would wait.

Placing the case down, he moved the toy in front of your lips. “You know what to do, little fox.” He said. 

Just like that, without even needing his command, you lolled your tongue out, covering the glass candy cane-shaped dildo in your drool with long, wide licks. A string of saliva fell on his clothed thigh while he observed the quick work of your tongue lapping at the tip shaped just like that of an actual cock. 

“You look so lovely, my little fox.” He said, caressing your hair off your face, fixing the mother of pearl hair-comb that held back your long locks from your face, holding it with two fingers, so delicately, trying not to break it as he pushed it back into your hair. “I can only imagine how many people were drooling for you tonight.”

You looked at him while he rubbed the tip of the toy against your mouth, your lips naturally parting and wrapping around the glass, becoming even fuller and plumper. 

He could barely resist himself as he looked at you, laying there, with your wide, innocent eyes, your lashes fluttering like feathery little wings, and your mouth, so dirty and sinful and absolutely lascivious. 

He yet had to understand your pure-depraved ratio. It was something he felt but couldn’t explain. 

And most of the time it was not one, nor the other that set him off, but rather the combination and absolute divergence of the two.

You bobbed your head slightly, still staring at him, and for a second he thought ‘what if it were not a toy, what if it were another man? What if i were holding him while she took him in her mouth, and she kept her eyes on me?’

You saw his nostrils flare, his chest expand, his whole posture becoming even more magnificent. 

You pulled the toy off your mouth. You bit your lip. “What are you thinking?”

“If it was another man in your mouth.” He admitted, caressing your ass through your silk slip, the smoothness of the fabric making the weight of his hand glide freely on your lower back before he lifted up the garment, exposing the curve of your ass, your slick folds. 

He massaged your naked skin, extremely glad that he was wearing rings only on one hand.

“I don’t want that.” You said, as soon as he made eye-contact with you. 

“What, Vixen?”

“I don’t want another man. Ever.” You said, and it wasn’t a praise, it wasn’t a lure, and it wasn’t flattery. “I only want you.” You said, your hand wrapping around his ankle as it was the only part that you could hold on to, his hands busy and your palms too small for his thighs and calves. 

He rubbed your ass a couple times. “Daddy would never allow anyone else, babylove.” His hand cupped your heat, his palm laying on the seam of your butt while his middle finger found your clit easily. He felt your wetness spread over his middle finger, coating it as he drew it between your labia. “You and I have something special, little fox. It’s only ours.” He kissed the top of your head. “You trust daddy?” He asked, his expression warm as he addressed you. 

“Yes, daddy.”

“Daddy will slip his finger in now, babylove. Would you like that?”

You nodded, again, “Yes, daddy.”

Slowly he drew his middle finger inside, one knuckle at a time. 

You purred as you felt him draw out slightly and turn his wrist, his digit finding your cervix and drawing its outlines. 

“Joonie...” You murmured, opening your mouth and stretching your neck to reach the toy. 

He toyed with you, placing it before your mouth and pulling it away just as your lips skimmed the material, repeating the taunt a few times, grinning as you turned and glared at him. 

“What the— Oh! Fu—!”

You said, ready to scold him but changing your mind as he added a finger inside, Shutting your mouth mid-swear. 

He thrusted his fingers hard. “I have told you many, many times, that when you’re naked in front of me you must never, ever swear, little one.” And he punctuated each word with a crook of his fingers, adding another as he murmured, very slowly, ‘little one’. 

You whined around the dildo, frowning as you writhed over his knees. 

“What do you say, Vixen?” He said, removing the toy. 

“Sorry, daddy.”

“Good girl.” He replied. “Do you think you’re stretched out enough for your toy, babygirl?” He asked, massaging his fingers slowly and delicately inside you. 

You nodded eagerly. “I want it, please daddy.”

“Such a polite little thing.” He cooed, removing his fingers, letting them hover over your ass, while he teased the glass tip over your slit, rubbing it up and down, letting the first inch in. 

“Oh, Joon—”

“Easy, darling.” He said, rubbing his thumb against your tailbone, keeping his wet fingers off your skin, trying to keep you as clean as possible while also trying to comfort you. 

“It’s big.” You said, digging your nails into his ankle. 

“It’s not that big, Vixen.” He said caressing your spine and letting the dildo sink into your heat while you hummed, focusing on every ridge of the toy, the spiraling swirls imitating the candy cane giving you a completely new sensation. 

Namjoon bent down to place a small kiss on the mole on your asscheek, sinking his teeth around it. “You have the most incredible butt in the whole universe, little thing.” He said, placing another small kiss on it. “So damn beautiful.”

“Daddy...” You cried out once he fed all of the shaft into you, leaving only the handle to hang out. 

“Careful now, baby fox.” He said as he gave the toy a slow twist, just like he had with his wrist before, twisting the hook of the handle toward your front, letting it brush against your clit. 

“Oh my god, Joon.” You whispered. 

“Relax, baby.” He cooed, raising his upper body and bringing his forehead to your temple. Next he brought his wet fingers to your lips. 

It felt obvious for you to open your mouth and let him place his fingers on your tongue. 

“Can you taste how sweet you are, ____? How fucking sweet your cunt tastes?” He asked. You let your tongue slither and slide through every crevasse between his fingers, where your taste hid best, and then you set your target on simply sucking, making sure that his fingers came out clean, only drenched in your drool. 

“I can never part from it.” He murmured, choosing that moment to take his digits away and turn your face so his tongue could caress your lower lip and entangle with yours, trying to steal the taste of you from your mouth. 

“I’m never letting another man have your mouth. Taste your sweet, precious pussy. Feel how fucking good it feels to move inside your tiny body. My pretty doll.” He praised you and reassured you possessively, his thumb rubbing your lips. 

“Daddy?” You called innocently.

“Yes, baby.” He replied, dragging his slippery fingers against your ass seducingly. 

“Would you please spank me?” You asked, batting your eyelashes at him. 

He raised his eyebrows before he wore a lopsided smirk that made his dimple pop up. “You’d like me to?” He asked, his voice decisively happy. 

“If you want to?” You replied, crossing your arms over his thigh and laying your head there. 

“Shall we go for sixteen, babe?” He asked, considering that he wanted to simply arouse you before he moved on to his actual goal. 

“Okay.” You replied, knowing that you could do better, but acting smart and restraining yourself from wanting more, not knowing how it would feel like with the toy.

“Count them for me?” He asked, patting your head, moving your hair aside. 

You nodded obediently before he lifted his hand, your eyes shutting, waiting for him to hit you, just before you felt his hand land on you softly, his stomach moving with a silent laugh after he tricked you. 

You pouted and looked at him and just like that he delivered the first smack, making you howl, your inner muscles clenching and moving the dildo just enough for it to tickle your clit.

He kept touching your hair as his hand pressed the toy into you. 

“One.” He said, pinching your ass, inviting you to count. 

He went on blow after blow, your ass slowly losing sensitivity to the rough impact of his thick rings on your skin. He got rougher at around smack four, when usually he gave you a bit more time before actually going at it hard. Anyway, a small part of your brain, not commanded by arousal and pain, understood and related to his urgency, especially considering how long he hasn’t been acting on the rock-hard cock begging for attention inside his sweats. At hit number nine, you realised his pattern, and how religiously he was sticking to it: smaking your ass, rubbing it for ten seconds, pressing the toy back into you after your inner muscles had pushed it out with the sudden stimulation of his spanks. And repeat

From number twelve, he went all out, trying to give it to you exactly the way you want it and need it. Harsh, merciless, torturously good. 

“Sixteen,” you called, exhausted as he fixed the toy inside, your ass burning under his touch, his other hand laying on your head, caressing it like you were nothing short of his pet. 

“Are you okay, babylove?” He called, bending to your ear, nibbling on your earlobe. 

“Yes, just...” You took your time. “It burns a tiny, tiny bit.” You said, trying not to worry him. 

And still he freaked out. “Okay, would you like your cooling gel? Cold pack? I tried to go easy but a—” 

“Stop worrying, big bear. I’m okay.” You said, patting his leg in a reassuring way. “But there’s something bothering me a little...”

“What is it, babe?” He asked, cupping your cheek, ready to reassure you. 

“What if instead of running away to grab my lotion, you just stayed here and used that fancy candy cane to make me cum?” You said. “I’m so close, I just need you to touch my clit a little, please, daddy!” You tried to convince him. 

Your hand stretched back, spreading over his beautiful chest and sliding down towards his crotch. 

Lovingly, he caught your hand in his, stopping it over his chest. “Anything you want, precious.”

He kept your hands trapped to his chest, keeping it still and grinning at you mischievously once you tried to slide it down toward his abs. However, the other one moved to your ass, his upper body leaning on it as he blew cold air on it. “I’m gonna twist it around,” he said, placing his hand on the handle and pulling it out just enough to turn the handle toward your ass. He brought your hand down, catching the other one too and placing them on your back, putting your wrists together, quickly grabbing the red satin ribbon you had unwrapped from your Christmas gift. 

“I’m simply going to tie it up like shoelaces, Vixen. No fancy business, I promise, but don’t tug at it. Do you understand, baby fox?”

“Yes, daddy.” You replied, staying still as you felt the delicate material against your wrists, his fingers making a quick bow out of the ribbon. 

“Is it okay, ____?” He asked, his voice telling you that it was Namjoon and not daddy talking to you. 

“Yup, all good.” You said simply. 

“Perfect. I just want you to cum as soon as possible, Vixen.” He said, getting to work between your legs. “Like this?” He asked, placing his digit at the apex of your labia, but needing your guidance in finding your clit. 

“Just a bit to the left.” You said. “My left.” You added, and he followed with microscopical movements, knowing he had found the right spot when he slid a tiny fraction downwards and you mewled his name, squealing. 

“There it is,” he said, wrapping his free hand around the handle of the dildo and thrusting with small movements inside you, making sure that you were still wet and that he didn’t hurt you. 

“Keep going with both.” You said, your brow furrowing. “I need...”

“Need to make it wet, sorry baby.” He said, moving his finger away from your clit and putting it in his mouth, tempted to slide it in with the toy, but too worried about messing up your climax. He immediately found your clit again, toying around it a little before finding the spot that made you tug at your wrists and arch your back, your hips starting to move on their own accord. 

“Like that, Vixen. Take what you need, baby.” He said, his arm a bit uncomfortable at the angle as he thrusted the toy inside you; nevertheless, he kept going, determined on seeing you come undone. 

Which happened, finally. Your mouth opened in a strangled cry before you pressed it to his clothed thigh, suppressing a scream. 

“That’s it, baby fox. Feels good?” He asked just as you writhed, trying to escape from his digit on your clit, quickly pushing you into overstimulation. 

“Too good.” You replied, turning your head to the side. “Stop, please.”

“You know the word, Vixen. ‘Stop’ ain’t getting you nowhere.” He said, feeling his dick twitch as you begged. 

“Mint.” You spoke softly into his leg, escaping his wicked ministrations. 

His hand moved away from your sensitive spot. 

“I want you.” You murmured. “I’m close, but I want to be near you.” You looked at him with your eyes barely open, your breath wild, your heartbeat wild against his leg. “Not like this.” You called, wiggling your fingers. 

He tugged the toy out, placing it on top of the ripped paper of the package not to mess the sofa, then pushed it out of the way. His fingers tugged at one of the strings, careful not to jam the knot. Soon your wrists were free and he helped you on your knees, raising your torso. 

“Easy, love.” He said, twining your fingers together as you stood up, making sure that you didn’t get dizzy by standing up too fast. 

Soon one of his hands let go of yours, his forearm wrapping behind your back and pulling you into him, making you kneel on the sofa. “Straddle my thigh, babygirl.” He said with a low, rumbling timbre. 

“Gonna mess your fancy Santa slacks.” You said, smiling confusedly. 

“We can wash them for next year.” He replied, his skin burning as your front connected with his. He pressed your hand into his, against his chest, pulling you closer as your wetness connected with his strong thigh. 

“I’m already close.” You said, nuzzling into his neck, under his jaw, kissing the small mole. 

“Really, uh?” 

“You stopped when I was on the edge, before, after the first.” You said, parting from his throat and looking for his lips with your eyes closed, your hips already rolling back and forth on him. 

“You’re a vision, babe.” He said, hitching your slip dress up, so he could look at your mound, at your hips, riding him as you ruthlessly chased your pleasure. “You were close close, uh?”

You nodded, sucking his lower lip into your mouth, his left hand sprawled over your left asscheek, gripping it and helping you ride him. 

“Yes,” you sibilated as you felt his nails sink into you. You arched your back even more, your movements turning into small circles once you felt his quadricep flex, your clit connecting fully with the satin of his trousers. “So good. I need— I love your thighs.” You said, rambling helplessly as your free hand went into his hair, tugging it gently and letting your fingers slide down, with a delicate scratch of your nails, running around his neck and jaw and touching his cheek, parting your face enough to look him in the eye, waiting a few seconds for your gaze to focus on him. 

“Mhmh,” he said, smirking, helping you quicken your pace. “I love you, babe.”

You nodded and tipped your head back, pleasure rolling down your spine, pooling at your core. 

With your throat right in front of his face, Namjoon bent forward, his lips zeroing in on the point where he could feel your pulse and focusing there, sucking and nibbling at your skin while your mouth opened in a whine that quickly turned into a thin mewl. His nails clawed at your ass, squeezing it tighter now that you were deep into your high.

He kept his mouth at your neck, a deep bruise blooming on your skin, parting from you only when he felt your hips slow down and halt. 

“It was the prettiest sound you’ve ever made on top of me.” He said, bringing your joined hands to his lips and kissing yours, his other hand letting go of you, soothing the skin he had manhandled so thoroughly. 

Your hand toyed with the messy locks of his hair before sliding down to his front, touching his skin feverishly while he hugged you to him.

You were tempted to stay in the warmth of his embrace as you kissed the skin of his pectorals. 

“I have a Christmas gift too.” You murmured, trying to untuck his face from your loose, wild hair. 

“Stay here. Ride me.” He said, his forearm flexing and squeezing you to his front. 

“Want you to open it first.” You said, nipping at his nipple, which convinced him to let you go. 

You quickly stood up and took a couple steps toward the Christmas tree, dipping your arm in and wincing as you felt the small synthetic needles prickle your arm. 

“You hid it in there?”

You looked at him and nodded, feeling for a small box with your fingers, cheering once you found it. 

You retracted your arm as quick as possible and sauntered towards him. 

“I didn’t do a nice package,” you explained, embarrassed. 

“What…?” He said as you kneeled between his parted legs. 

“We said stuff. On our trip.” You said, remembering your quick getaway. “But it was mostly you who did the talking.” You continued, looking down. “Now it’s my turn to speak.” Your eyes met his. “I’m gonna make an honest man out of you, someday.”

His lips turned into an ear-to-ear grin, 

“I’m gonna love you as much as my small body allows, and my heart will stop the day I stop loving you. I’m gonna give you a home.” You said, getting emotional as you saw a tear slide down his cheek. “And I’m gonna give you children.” You stretched to dry the small silvery droplet rolling down his face. “I’m gonna make a dad of you.” You said, parting from his face only long enough to open the small box. “But first I will introduce you to my parents.” You said. “My fun relatives and my boring ones too.” You looked at the thick dark wooden band lined in black tungsten. “All my annoying colleagues.” You arched your brows. “And the ones I like much better.” You broke down as you imagined what would come next. “I’d walk down the isle dressed in white for you.”

“Yes.” He said, not even letting you finish. “Yes. Yes, a thousand times yes, ____.” He was crying shamelessly by now, sliding down to the floor and hugging you to his chest. 

“I’d walk through hell with you. Hell would feel like heaven with you.” You said, sobbing. “And heaven would feel like hell without you. Marry me, Namjoon.”

“Yes, baby.” He said, kissing your forehead and your lips with both your faces wet with tears. “Put that damn ring on me, princess.” He said, parting from you and giving you his right hand. 

Completely excited, your hands trembled as you extracted the wide wooden band, put down the box and placed your hand under his, your forefinger and thumb sliding the ring into his finger. 

“You’re shaking, little fox.” He said, hugging you to himself, his eyes studying the ring as you disappeared into his chest, his chin propped on top of your head as his eyes perused the dark wood, protected by a thick layer of lacquer.

“I mentioned to my parents that I’d like to introduce you to them.” You said, shyly. “In January. As soon as you’re done with the shows and everything. I told them I would like to have dinner, all together.” You said, looking up at him. “We didn’t like… Choose a date or anything. I told them we could have dinner, a weekend or another.”

“I’d be honoured.” He said, smiling at you gently. 

You stared at him in silence for a couple seconds. 

He closed his eyes, steadying himself for what you were about to say, knowing that it would very likely be something completely inappropriate. That’s how you deal with stress. 

You licked your lips and giggled at his expression. You knew it so well. 

“Is it the wrong moment to say I want my fiancé to ram my stomach with his huge, thick, enormous and delicious cock?”

“You’re fucking filthy and adorable. Up,” He said, holding you by the waist as he helped you stand up and climb his body. 

Your arms wrapped around his neck and he held you up with his forearm while his hand dipped into his sweatpants. You mouthed at his jaw. “Please...” 

He groaned as he entered you slowly, making you slide down and onto him. 

“Feels perfect...” You whimpered as he held you still, breathing through his teeth. 

“It will feel even more perfect while I fuck my fiancée stupid on our bed.” He said, making his way to your room. “Merry Christmas, babe.”

“Is Santa gonna cum in my chimney?” You asked with an amused expression. 

He shook his head in disbelief and then wore a small smile. “Gonna stuff you like a stocking.” 

You squealed and giggled, “Merry Christmas, indeed.” 

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Tokyo Tower (Part 4) Herzog, Bondarev, MC

It took me a while to figure out what angle I was going to go with this. I hope you enjoy it!

In the Tokyo port area, not far from the coast, the sound of the midnight tide can be faintly heard. The iron tower stands in the rainstorm, a stark and bony giant, silently supporting the sky.

Tokyo Tower.

This tower was once the high point of Tokyo, but now it has been replaced by the taller Tokyo Sky Tree. But looking up from directly below, one can still be amazed at its majesty. The jagged steel supports are more like the skeleton of a giant than a living giant.

"Ukyo, Ukyo, Ruri calling, report your position." Ruri Kazama's voice came over your headset.

"Arriving at the first floor of the underground garage. It's a little strange how quiet it is." Chu Zihang replied.

 "After the Tokyo Sky Tree was built, this place has been forgotten. Who would come to the former tallest tower when you can climb the actual tallest tower to see Tokyo?" Ruri Kazama said, "That's why the King will choose this place for the meet up.”

His voice grows faint. “In the past, it was a Tokyo landmark. It appeared in various manga and movies. Couples saw climbing Tokyo Tower together as a romantic affair, and those who fell out of love came here to commit suicide. This place symbolizes the prosperity and loneliness of Tokyo. In ‘Tokyo Babylon’, there is a dead soul wandering in Tokyo Tower, and she says, "I hate Tokyo, so gorgeous on the outside, but so dirty on the inside.’"

"You don't seem to like Tokyo that much, do you?" Caesar said.

"Not only do I dislike it, I actually want to burn the city down. It's a sad city, like a colorful cage."

Lu Mingfei, next to you, gives you a searching look. “You like this guy?” He whispered.

The two of you were in your sniping positions on a building far from the tower. Your job was not to snipe Masamune Tachibana or Dr. Herzog -- aka King General -- but to control the perimeter to avoid their escape. You’d prepared yourself with rain proof gear and warm underclothes. You’d even brought snacks and a small thermos of tea to drink while you waited. You lay on a small pad to comfort yourself against the hard asphalt roof. It was almost like a camping trip.

To answer Mingfei’s question, you answer the comms. “It’s funny you say that, Ruri. I imagined one morning tilting the whole city into the sea.” You giggle. 

Mingfei’s face twisted in sheer disbelief.

"Sorry to disturb the lovebirds’ very romantic conversation, but I'm wet and cold here in the void and also lonely. That is, needless to say, you guys' warm and blossoming words are driving me nuts!" Fingel's indignant voice came out of the headset, "Will you please shut up?"

 "From my point of view, you are completely invisible, hidden really well. What is your position?" Lu Mingfei asked.

"The northwest side of the tower, about 60 meters from the special lookout. Do you want me to say hello and yell at you a few times? That way you can remember that there is a poor man like me shivering in the wind and rain!" Fingel said viciously "I mean, is this balloon really reliable?"

"It's a dirigible." Lu Mingfei corrected.

He put down his sniper rifle and lifted his binoculars to look at the sky. Following Fingel's instructions, he did see the huge black object suspended in the rainstorm, like a giant whale suspended in the restless sea. It was so close to the color of the sky that it was almost indistinguishable. But poor Fingel was handing underneath it by a rope in the rain.

“That’s a really cool idea, Mingfei. How did you come up with it?” You ask.

“Oh… I got inspired one day.” He lowered the binoculars and looked down at you. “What do you have there?”

“Chocolate chip cookies. Do you want one?” You held up a cookie the size of your hand and Mingfei’s eyes brightened!

Fingel moaned loudly and you grin.

"We have reached the second floor of the underground garage. There’s a problem." Chu Zihang said, "The rainstorm has been going on too long. The area is flooded. The water depth is half a meter. Caesar and I had to wade deep into the garage to find the pipe opening."

You can hear them splashing around and, leaning close to Mingfei’s ear, you whisper. “I think I picked the right job.”

"Basara! Ukyou! Quiet! Unidentified vehicles are approaching Tokyo Tower!" Ruri Kazama's voice came over the headset.

You quickly grab a cookie in your mouth and munch on it while watching through your rifle scope.  A silver vintage Mercedes Benz drove through the rain-swept streets, kicking up a huge wake. It pulled into the basement level parking garage near where Caesar and Chu Zihang were. From there, there was an elevator that would take him directly up to the Tokyo Tower’s observation deck. Sure enough, a few seconds later, the high-speed elevator zoomed smoothly up the tower.

"It's Tachibana Masamune, who surprisingly arrived an hour early and drove himself here." Ruri Kazama whispered.

 "He sounds like a very young man from the sound of his footsteps." Caesar said.

"To be sure, I can see him clearly from here. He has reached the main observation deck and is looking out the window. You are right, he is in a strange state tonight, like a young man. Like the Major Bondarev of old."

“Wow…” You breathe in amazement. “It’s really him.” 

Even though he's far away and standing next to a window that’s running with rain, you recognize his upright and proud posture. You were an older orphan, a well trained soldier. He was always jolly and excited, with a disarming personality, a roguishly handsome face and well muscled body. Everyone was excited when Bondarev arrived.

Even now, you can hear Khorkina’s excited squealing echoing from the underworld. “It's Mr. Bondarev! He’s here!”

He always came with the Lenin. For you, he was like Santa Claus. But he was way hotter. Mr. Bondarev was like Santa the young women in the orphanage dreamed of marrying. Tonight, instead of a kimono, Bondarev wore the black trench coat of the Executive Board, with an open lapel revealing a white shirt with a colorful lining.

“Why are you smiling? This guy killed your friends!” Mingfei hissed.

“I know.” You whisper back. “But I haven’t seen this guy in forever and … this is amazing. He hasn’t changed at all.”

Bondarev fished out his cell phone and dialed. He started speaking in Japanese. “Mingfei, what is he saying?”

“He’s talking to Chisei. They’re talking about Erii. She’s okay.” Mingfei replies. 

“That’s a relief. She was really sad but I comforted her. Don’t worry. She’ll wait for you.” You smile up at Mingfei but Mingfei doesn’t return it. You’re puzzled for a moment but then you shrug. “Don’t feel guilty about leaving her at the Hydras. You did the right thing. You’ll have another chance to go get her. Just don’t keep her waiting too long!”

The lights suddenly went out.

Tokyo tower suddenly turned into a lifeless ruin. Masamune's trench coat was shaking and snapping in a wind that blew in as emergency doors had opened on the observation deck. He showed no fear. His whole body looked like a taut longbow.

"Basara to Ruri! The power suddenly went out in the underground garage!" Caesar lowered his voice, "All the gates are closed!"

“Ruri here, not only is the power out at Tokyo Tower, but the surrounding blocks have gone dark, and the power supply to the entire district has been interrupted."

Ruri Kazama added, "But the lights of the stairs are on."

In the darkness, the iron staircase around Tokyo Tower was lit up. LED lights were installed underneath the staircase, and each step emitted a glowing white light, as if it were a path to heaven.

"After all these years, we're still in the habit of arriving early." A voice with a smile echoed around the tower. That voice came out of the Tokyo Tower's PA system, and there was no need for any listening device. Everyone could hear it clearly.

 "That's the voice of The King General!" Lu Mingfei whispered.

“I know, stupid. I can hear it myself!” A jolt of shock echoed through your entire body. The voice reverberated like a bell, in a pure and recognizable Russian language with an accent native only to Northern Siberia. You hadn’t heard anyone speak your language for weeks and the familiarity by which your mind responded to the words sent sparks of pleasure through your mind.

It wasn’t just the voice of the King General. It was the voice of Dr. Herzog. The Herzog you grew up with, the one who raised you up. His voice echoed through the halls. It encouraged you. Praised you. Spoke your name. For you to hear it through the PA system on your naked ears, unfiltered by your headset… your heart responds as though he were speaking directly to you.

 "Of course, it's always the first one to arrive who takes the first position. How can people like you and I allow each other to take the first position?" Bondarev looked around, "I'm late this time, what have you prepared waiting for me?"

“MC translation please…” Caesar grumbled.

“They’re not saying anything important.” You shake your head.

“Translation please….” Caesar’s voice echoed a bit warningly.

“Yes, sir.”

 You speak in English for all to understand. "What else could it be? Of course it's authentic Red Label vodka and cold ice shipped from distant Siberia. Isn't that what friendship between men should be like? The liquor that burns the veins and the ice that never melts." Through the earpiece, you can hear the sound of vodka pouring straight from the bottle and the clinking of ice cubes. It was like he was sitting right next to you in the dark winter cabins of the north.

You can’t help yourself but smile. You knew this man. Were you not the only one frozen in the ice sea from twenty years ago? This is exactly a scene from your past being played out in real time! 

 "Why don't you walk faster? We have not seen each other for more than twenty years. You’ve gotten old. The world does not have much time for old people. We should seize every minute."

Your voice falls into the same tone and cadence of the King’s manner of speaking. You can’t see either of them now, but you can imagine him holding the glass up. He was probably going to toast to something. He always did.

"How can you not enjoy the overture before the official movement begins? Do you still listen to Tchaikovsky's 'Swan Lake'?" You are translating but it sparked a memory. “That’s right. Dr. Herzog loved Swan Lake. That’s why the port was called Black Swan Bay.”

  "The favorite thing to listen to now is his Sixth Symphony, the swan song he wrote for himself." Your heart sinks when you hear this and translate. After you finish translating you say. “Herzog is dying.”

“How can you tell?” Caesar asked.

“Tchaikovsky's 6th symphony was the last one he ever wrote. After he performed it he died a few days later.” You answer.

“You seem to understand each other’s words very well. I wouldn’t have picked up on that…” Caesar commented.

You don’t answer him. The night before you had already discussed this with him. Even though you had learned a lot from Caesar and had adopted a few of his philosophies, you were still fundamentally the daughter that Herzog raised. It seemed like he still had a hard time accepting that.

"You look a bit ridiculous nowadays, Major Bondarev." 

 "You look a bit scary today, however, Dr. Herzog."

"Do you want to analyze the ingredients before you drink it?"

“You’re not going to poison me.”

 "Shouldn't we share a toast?" 

You huffed. “I knew he was going to do that.’

 "To what? To the once glorious Soviet Union?" You can scarcely hold your laughter. These guys were exactly as you remembered him. It was almost like a scene from a movie you’d watched dozens of times.

You sigh, once again falling into Herzog’s way of speaking, gesturing with the glass like he always did. "There is no need to raise a glass to it. It is dead. Let’s celebrate that we have all survived, that those who survive are the strong, and that the strong raise their glasses to each other."

Your hand pauses in the air with its invisible glass.

“Ah. So is that why we have a third glass here?” Bondarev said.

“You also have seen the girl?” Herzog said. 

You’re so shocked that you forget to translate. You spin so fast, Lu Mingfei jumps out of his skin. You press your eye to the scope. But you can’t really see them any more.

Bondarev is speaking now. “Yes, I have to say, I struggled to keep my composure. Looking at her was like looking at a ghost. When did you see her?”

“I didn’t personally see her. It was reported back to me.” Herzog said.

Caesar’s voice. “MC!”

“Sorry!” You gasp. “They’re talking about me! They’re… they’re raising their glasses… to me. To the … only girl who made it out of Black Swan Bay to study.” Your voice fades and becomes choked with emotion. But not for your dead friends. You felt sad for the little girl you used to be who looked up to Herzog. Herzog was a loving and caring personality that little girl had wanted desperately to please. She had worked hard to the end for his smile of approval. But the whole time, he knew she was going to die.

Tonight, he was forced to give that smile of approval. Despite his plans, you did make it. You steel yourself again against the tragedy, not allowing yourself to cry or even feel sad for long. “Yeah. A toast to me, asshole, I’m going to shoot you in your head for my graduation party.” You snarl.

“I got worried there for a second.” Caesar said. 

“I’m fine. They’re just sweeping the area for bugs now. But they won’t find any.”

 Herzog and Bondarev each took off their outerwear and threw it on the ground, pulling up the sleeves of their shirts, moving neatly as if to admire themselves in the mirror.

"What is the meaning of this? Do old friends meet to strip naked and hug?" Fingel monitored every movement in the special observation deck.

 "No, except for the outer clothing, their clothes are very close fitting, which means they can't hide bulky weapons under their clothes, such as guns. Rolling up their sleeves is a sign that they don't have throwing knives hidden on their wrists, which are no less deadly than bullets at that distance." Ruri Kazama said, "It's a way for spies to show the other side that they are 'clean'."

"What classic old spies!" Fingel exclaimed.

You chuckle. “Right out of James Bond. Oh, they’re talking now. I don’t quite understand what it means. Bondarev is asking Herzog if he wants to ascend to the throne of the world. And he says that Dragons can live over a thousand years and be reborn through… cocooning? What does it mean?”

Chu Zihang responded. “Dragon Kings, when they hatch, create an alchemical device called an ‘egg’. Through a special process, if they get mortally wounded, they can put themselves in this ‘egg’ device and regenerate. So long as they can make their egg, and protect it, they will never die.”

You nod. “It sounds like Herzog wants to evolve into a dragon. Turn into a dragon. He says that’s the only way he knows that he is really existing, is if he’s at the very top of the food chain. If nothing else can eat him then he is truly alive. The rest of the world is just food.”

A soft moan interrupts your listening and translation work. Lu Mingfei is wincing and sighing with his eyes tightly shut. His hand is against his forehead. “Mingfei! Are you alright?” 

He doesn’t answer immediately. He doesn’t even seem to hear you at all. You shake his shoulders. “Mingfei! Are you using a Soul Skill? Is this sequelae?” You try to look into his eyes but they’re closed! “Mingfei!”

Mingfei’s whole body gave a tremendous shiver. Even though the rain was cold, he was sweating. 

You kneel next to him. “It’s okay. I’m here. Are you sick?”

“MC, for the last time, I don’t need you to worry about Mingfei’s panic attacks, I need you to translate!”

“I’m … I’m sorry! Bondarev’s saying. ‘What makes a child whose life is as fragile as a broken candle catch your attention, Doctor?’”

 “Herzog is saying that only one out of 100,000 humans exposed to dragon blood will survive. That he is 1 in 100,000. But also, Bondarev’s daughter is 1 in 100,000! He’s talking about Erii!”

"He says that the power of any evolutionary drug can only end up creating deadpool. The real evolution drug is an alchemical drug and the core ingredient is the blood of ancient dragons, especially the fetal blood of the White King. By obtaining that fetal blood, they have the opportunity to create the perfect evolutionary drug." Your voice rises in panic.

“They’re going to use it on Erii! They’re going to turn Erii into a dragon!”

[backslashdelta]

Glee Soundtrack Rating Project Results: blaine-andersxn

@blaine-andersxn

Favourite character: Kurt Hummel

Least favourite character: Noah Puckerman

Favourite season: Season 2

Least favourite season: Season 6

Mean song rating: 8.51

Mean song rating for favourite character's songs: 8.89

Mean song rating for favourite character's solos: 9.08

Mean song rating season 1: 7.48

Mean song rating season 2: 8.7

Mean song rating season 3: 8.71

Mean song rating season 4: 8.87

Mean song rating season 5: 8.68

Mean song rating season 6: 8.45

Songs rated: 673

[ID: A bar chart titled Number of songs assigned each rating by Blaine-andersxn, illustrating the number of times each score was assigned to a song by Blaine-andersxn. 10 was assigned 342 times, 9 was assigned 68 times, 8 was assigned 96 times, 7 was assigned 60 times, 6 was assigned 44 times, 5 was assigned 29 times, 4 was assigned 13 times, 3 was assigned 10 times, 2 was assigned 4 times, 1 was assigned 7 times, and 29 songs were not rated.]

About the Project | Results Masterpost

Ranking:

1. (10) - S1x06 - It's My Life/Confessions Part II

2. (10) - S1x06 - Halo/Walking On Sunshine

3. (10) - S1x09 - Defying Gravity

4. (10) - S1x13 - Don't Rain on My Parade

5. (10) - S1x13 - You Can't Always Get What You Want

6. (10) - S1x13 - My Life Would Suck Without You

7. (10) - S1x14 - Hello, I Love You

8. (10) - S1x14 - Highway to Hell

9. (10) - S1x14 - Gives You Hell

10. (10) - S1x14 - Hello

11. (10) - S1x14 - Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love

12. (10) - S1x15 - Express Yourself

13. (10) - S1x15 - 4 Minutes

14. (10) - S1x15 - Burning Up

15. (10) - S1x16 - Beautiful

16. (10) - S1x17 - Total Eclipse of the Heart

17. (10) - S1x18 - Jessie's Girl

18. (10) - S1x18 - Rose's Turn

19. (10) - S1x18 - The Boy Is Mine

20. (10) - S1x19 - Dream a Little Dream

21. (10) - S1x19 - Dream On

22. (10) - S1x19 - I Dreamed a Dream

23. (10) - S1x20 - Shout It Out Loud

24. (10) - S1x20 - Bad Romance

25. (10) - S1x20 - Funny Girl

26. (10) - S1x21 - Another One Bites the Dust

27. (10) - S1x22 - Bohemian Rhapsody

28. (10) - S1x22 - Don't Stop Believing (Regionals)

29. (10) - S1x22 - Faithfully

30. (10) - S1x22 - Any Way You Want It/Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'

31. (10) - S1x22 - Over the Rainbow

32. (10) - S2x01 - What I Did for Love

33. (10) - S2x01 - Telephone

34. (10) - S2x01 - Billionaire

35. (10) - S2x01 - Listen

36. (10) - S2x02 - Stronger

37. (10) - S2x02 - I'm a Slave 4 U

38. (10) - S2x02 - Me Against the Music

39. (10) - S2x02 - Toxic

40. (10) - S2x02 - Baby One More Time

41. (10) - S2x03 - Bridge Over Troubled Water

42. (10) - S2x04 - Le Jazz Hot

43. (10) - S2x04 - Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy

44. (10) - S2x04 - River Deep, Mountain High

45. (10) - S2x04 - Lucky

46. (10) - S2x04 - Sing!

47. (10) - S2x05 - Whatever Happened to Saturday Night?

48. (10) - S2x05 - Sweet Transvestite

49. (10) - S2x05 - Time Warp

50. (10) - S2x05 - Damn It, Janet

51. (10) - S2x06 - Teenage Dream

52. (10) - S2x06 - Stop! In the Name of Love/Free Your Mind

53. (10) - S2x06 - Start Me Up/Livin' on a Prayer

54. (10) - S2x07 - Forget You

55. (10) - S2x08 - Just the Way You Are

56. (10) - S2x08 - Marry You

57. (10) - S2x08 - Sway

58. (10) - S2x09 - Hey, Soul Sister

59. (10) - S2x09 - Dog Days Are Over

60. (10) - S2x09 - (I've Had) The Time of My Life

61. (10) - S2x09 - Valerie

62. (10) - S2x10 - Baby, It's Cold Outside

63. (10) - S2x10 - We Need a Little Christmas

64. (10) - S2x10 - The Most Wonderful Day of the Year

65. (10) - S2x11 - Thriller/Heads Will Roll

66. (10) - S2x11 - Bills, Bills, Bills

67. (10) - S2x11 - She's Not There

68. (10) - S2x11 - Need You Now

69. (10) - S2x12 - P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)

70. (10) - S2x12 - When I Get You Alone

71. (10) - S2x12 - Silly Love Songs

72. (10) - S2x13 - Somebody to Love

73. (10) - S2x13 - Take Me or Leave Me

74. (10) - S2x14 - Don't You Want Me

75. (10) - S2x14 - Tik Tok

76. (10) - S2x15 - Animal

77. (10) - S2x15 - Landslide

78. (10) - S2x16 - Misery

79. (10) - S2x16 - Raise Your Glass

80. (10) - S2x16 - Blackbird

81. (10) - S2x16 - Hell to the No

82. (10) - S2x16 - Get It Right

83. (10) - S2x16 - Loser Like Me

84. (10) - S2x16 - Trouty Mouth

85. (10) - S2x17 - Ain't No Way

86. (10) - S2x17 - All By Myself

87. (10) - S2x18 - Somewhere Only We Know

88. (10) - S2x18 - As If We Never Said Goodbye

89. (10) - S2x18 - Born This Way

90. (10) - S2x18 - I Feel Pretty/Unpretty

91. (10) - S2x19 - I Don't Want to Know

92. (10) - S2x19 - Don't Stop

93. (10) - S2x19 - Songbird

94. (10) - S2x20 - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You

95. (10) - S2x20 - Dancing Queen

96. (10) - S2x20 - Rolling in the Deep

97. (10) - S2x21 - Some People

98. (10) - S2x21 - Pure Imagination

99. (10) - S2x21 - My Man

100. (10) - S2x21 - Back to Black

101. (10) - S2x22 - Yeah!

102. (10) - S2x22 - My Cup

103. (10) - S2x22 - I Love New York/New York, New York

104. (10) - S2x22 - For Good

105. (10) - S2x22 - Light Up the World

106. (10) - S2x22 - Pretending

107. (10) - S2x22 - As Long as You're There

108. (10) - S3x01 - It's Not Unusual

109. (10) - S3x01 - Anything Goes/Anything You Can Do

110. (10) - S3x01 - Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead

111. (10) - S3x01 - You Can't Stop the Beat

112. (10) - S3x01 - We Got the Beat

113. (10) - S3x02 - Something's Coming

114. (10) - S3x02 - I'm the Greatest Star

115. (10) - S3x02 - Somewhere

116. (10) - S3x03 - Run the World (Girls)

117. (10) - S3x03 - Spotlight

118. (10) - S3x04 - Last Friday Night

119. (10) - S3x04 - Candyman

120. (10) - S3x05 - Tonight

121. (10) - S3x05 - One Hand, One Heart

122. (10) - S3x05 - America

123. (10) - S3x05 - A Boy Like That/I Have a Love

124. (10) - S3x05 - Uptown Girl

125. (10) - S3x06 - I Can't Go for That/You Make My Dreams Come True

126. (10) - S3x06 - Hit Me with Your Best Shot/One Way or Another

127. (10) - S3x06 - Rumour Has It/Someone Like You

128. (10) - S3x07 - Perfect

129. (10) - S3x07 - Constant Craving

130. (10) - S3x08 - Buenos Aires

131. (10) - S3x08 - Survivor/I Will Survive

132. (10) - S3x08 - ABC

133. (10) - S3x09 - Let It Snow

134. (10) - S3x09 - All I Want for Christmas Is You

135. (10) - S3x09 - Santa Claus Is Coming to Town

136. (10) - S3x09 - My Favorite Things

137. (10) - S3x10 - Summer Nights

138. (10) - S3x10 - Without You

139. (10) - S3x10 - We Found Love

140. (10) - S3x11 - Black or White

141. (10) - S3x11 - Bad

142. (10) - S3x11 - Never Can Say Goodbye

143. (10) - S3x11 - Human Nature

144. (10) - S3x11 - Smooth Criminal

145. (10) - S3x11 - I Want You Back

146. (10) - S3x12 - Bamboleo/Hero

147. (10) - S3x13 - Love Shack

148. (10) - S3x13 - I Will Always Love You

149. (10) - S3x13 - Cherish/Cherish

150. (10) - S3x13 - L-O-V-E

151. (10) - S3x14 - Cough Syrup

152. (10) - S3x14 - Fly/I Believe I Can Fly

153. (10) - S3x14 - Here's to Us

154. (10) - S3x14 - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

155. (10) - S3x14 - Stand

156. (10) - S3x14 - Glad You Came

157. (10) - S3x15 - I'm Still Standing

158. (10) - S3x15 - Rio/Hungry Like the Wolf

159. (10) - S3x15 - Somebody That I Used to Know

160. (10) - S3x16 - Boogie Shoes

161. (10) - S3x17 - It's Not Right But It's Okay

162. (10) - S3x17 - Saving All My Love For You

163. (10) - S3x17 - I Have Nothing

164. (10) - S3x17 - How Will I Know

165. (10) - S3x17 - So Emotional

166. (10) - S3x18 - Cell Block Tango

167. (10) - S3x18 - Not the Boy Next Door

168. (10) - S3x18 - Shake It Out

169. (10) - S3x19 - What Makes You Beautiful

170. (10) - S3x19 - Take My Breath Away

171. (10) - S3x20 - I Won't Give Up

172. (10) - S3x20 - Flashdance...What a Feeling

173. (10) - S3x20 - Because You Loved Me

174. (10) - S3x21 - Paradise By the Dashboard Light

175. (10) - S3x21 - Tongue Tied

176. (10) - S3x21 - We Are the Champions

177. (10) - S3x21 - It's All Coming Back to Me Now

178. (10) - S3x21 - Edge of Glory

179. (10) - S3x22 - I'll Remember

180. (10) - S3x22 - In My Life

181. (10) - S3x22 - Roots Before Branches

182. (10) - S3x22 - Forever Young

183. (10) - S4x01 - It's Time

184. (10) - S4x01 - Call Me Maybe

185. (10) - S4x01 - Americano/Dance Again

186. (10) - S4x01 - Never Say Never

187. (10) - S4x01 - Chasing Pavements

188. (10) - S4x01 - New York State of Mind

189. (10) - S4x02 - Boys/Boyfriend

190. (10) - S4x02 - Hold It Against Me

191. (10) - S4x02 - Gimme More

192. (10) - S4x02 - Womanizer

193. (10) - S4x03 - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

194. (10) - S4x03 - Celebrity Skin

195. (10) - S4x04 - Teenage Dream (Acoustic)

196. (10) - S4x04 - Don't Speak

197. (10) - S4x04 - Give Your Heart a Break

198. (10) - S4x04 - The Scientist

199. (10) - S4x04 - Mine

200. (10) - S4x05 - Hopelessly Devoted to You

201. (10) - S4x05 - Everybody Talks

202. (10) - S4x05 - Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

203. (10) - S4x06 - Beauty School Dropout

204. (10) - S4x06 - Greased Lightning

205. (10) - S4x06 - You're the One That I Want

206. (10) - S4x07 - My Dark Side

207. (10) - S4x07 - Heroes

208. (10) - S4x07 - Holding Out for a Hero

209. (10) - S4x07 - Some Nights

210. (10) - S4x08 - Whistle

211. (10) - S4x08 - Home/Homeward Bound

212. (10) - S4x08 - Come See About Me

213. (10) - S4x09 - Something Stupid

214. (10) - S4x09 - Being Alive

215. (10) - S4x09 - All That Jazz

216. (10) - S4x10 - White Christmas

217. (10) - S4x11 - Tell Him

218. (10) - S4x11 - Locked Out of Heaven

219. (10) - S4x12 - This Is the New Year

220. (10) - S4x12 - Love Song

221. (10) - S4x13 - Don't Stop Me Now

222. (10) - S4x13 - Diva

223. (10) - S4x13 - Bring Him Home

224. (10) - S4x13 - Make No Mistake (She's Mine)

225. (10) - S4x13 - Nutbush City Limits

226. (10) - S4x13 - Girl On Fire

227. (10) - S4x13 - Hung Up

228. (10) - S4x14 - Just Can't Get Enough

229. (10) - S4x14 - Getting Married Today

230. (10) - S4x14 - You're All I Need to Get By

231. (10) - S4x15 - Shout

232. (10) - S4x15 - Come What May

233. (10) - S4x15 - Old Time Rock & Roll/Danger Zone

234. (10) - S4x15 - Footloose

235. (10) - S4x16 - Cold Hearted

236. (10) - S4x17 - Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)

237. (10) - S4x17 - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

238. (10) - S4x17 - Wannabe

239. (10) - S4x17 - Mamma Mia

240. (10) - S4x17 - Copacabana

241. (10) - S4x18 - Say

242. (10) - S4x18 - More Than Words

243. (10) - S4x19 - You Have More Friends Than You Know

244. (10) - S4x20 - We Will Rock You

245. (10) - S4x21 - Uptight (Everything's Alright)

246. (10) - S4x21 - Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours

247. (10) - S4x21 - Higher Ground

248. (10) - S4x21 - Superstition

249. (10) - S4x22 - Clarity

250. (10) - S4x22 - Wings

251. (10) - S4x22 - I Love It

252. (10) - S4x22 - All or Nothing

253. (10) - S4x22 - To Love You More

254. (10) - S5x01 - Help!

255. (10) - S5x01 - All You Need Is Love

256. (10) - S5x01 - You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

257. (10) - S5x01 - Got to Get You Into My Life

258. (10) - S5x01 - A Hard Day's Night

259. (10) - S5x02 - Here Comes the Sun

260. (10) - S5x02 - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

261. (10) - S5x02 - Hey Jude

262. (10) - S5x03 - I'll Stand By You

263. (10) - S5x03 - Seasons of Love

264. (10) - S5x03 - Make You Feel My Love

265. (10) - S5x03 - If I Die Young

266. (10) - S5x04 - Marry the Night

267. (10) - S5x04 - Wide Awake

268. (10) - S5x05 - On Our Way

269. (10) - S5x05 - If I Were a Boy

270. (10) - S5x06 - An Innocent Man

271. (10) - S5x06 - Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)

272. (10) - S5x07 - You're My Best Friend

273. (10) - S5x09 - I Believe in a Thing Called Love

274. (10) - S5x09 - Every Breath You Take

275. (10) - S5x09 - Don't Rain On My Parade

276. (10) - S5x09 - Brave

277. (10) - S5x09 - Breakaway

278. (10) - S5x10 - Barracuda

279. (10) - S5x10 - Gloria

280. (10) - S5x10 - Don't You (Forget About Me)

281. (10) - S5x11 - Vacation

282. (10) - S5x11 - America

283. (10) - S5x11 - More Than a Feeling

284. (10) - S5x11 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

285. (10) - S5x11 - Mr. Roboto/Counting Stars

286. (10) - S5x12 - Keep Holding On

287. (10) - S5x12 - Toxic

288. (10) - S5x12 - Valerie

289. (10) - S5x13 - Party All the Time

290. (10) - S5x13 - I Am Changing

291. (10) - S5x13 - Don't Stop Believin' (Season Five)

292. (10) - S5x13 - Just Give Me a Reason

293. (10) - S5x13 - Be Okay

294. (10) - S5x14 - You Make Me Feel So Young

295. (10) - S5x14 - Best Day of My Life

296. (10) - S5x15 - Not While I'm Around

297. (10) - S5x15 - I'm Still Here

298. (10) - S5x15 - You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman

299. (10) - S5x15 - Colorblind

300. (10) - S5x15 - Broadway Baby

301. (10) - S5x15 - No One Is Alone

302. (10) - S5x16 - I Want to Know What Love Is

303. (10) - S5x16 - Let's Wait Awhile

304. (10) - S5x17 - I'm the Greatest Star

305. (10) - S5x17 - Pumpin Blood

306. (10) - S5x17 - Who Are You Now

307. (10) - S5x18 - The Rose

308. (10) - S5x19 - Take Me Home Tonight

309. (10) - S5x19 - I Melt with You

310. (10) - S5x20 - All of Me

311. (10) - S5x20 - American Boy

312. (10) - S5x20 - Shakin' My Head

313. (10) - S5x20 - Pompeii

314. (10) - S5x20 - Glitter in the Air

315. (10) - S6x01 - Sing

316. (10) - S6x01 - Dance the Night Away

317. (10) - S6x01 - Uninvited

318. (10) - S6x01 - Suddenly Seymour

319. (10) - S6x02 - Tightrope

320. (10) - S6x02 - Take On Me

321. (10) - S6x02 - Home

322. (10) - S6x02 - Problem

323. (10) - S6x02 - Mustang Sally

324. (10) - S6x03 - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow/Head Over Feet

325. (10) - S6x03 - You Learn/You've Got a Friend

326. (10) - S6x03 - Hand in My Pocket/I Feel the Earth Move

327. (10) - S6x03 - So Far Away

328. (10) - S6x04 - Thousand Miles

329. (10) - S6x05 - All Out of Love

330. (10) - S6x05 - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)

331. (10) - S6x06 - Wishin' And Hoping

332. (10) - S6x06 - Baby It's You

333. (10) - S6x06 - Promises, Promises

334. (10) - S6x06 - Alfie

335. (10) - S6x07 - You Give Love a Bad Name

336. (10) - S6x07 - Somebody Loves You

337. (10) - S6x07 - Time After Time

338. (10) - S6x08 - Hey Ya!

339. (10) - S6x10 - Rather Be

340. (10) - S6x12 - Don't Stop Believing (Pilot/2009)

341. (10) - S6x13 - Daydream Believer

342. (10) - S6x13 - I Lived

343. (9) - S1x01 - Don't Stop Believing (Pilot)

344. (9) - S1x09 - Dancing With Myself

345. (9) - S1x09 - Proud Mary

346. (9) - S1x10 - I'll Stand By You

347. (9) - S1x11 - Imagine

348. (9) - S1x11 - True Colors

349. (9) - S1x13 - And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going

350. (9) - S1x15 - Like a Prayer

351. (9) - S1x16 - Home

352. (9) - S1x16 - Fire

353. (9) - S1x22 - To Sir, With Love

354. (9) - S2x03 - I Want to Hold Your Hand

355. (9) - S2x04 - Don't Go Breaking My Heart

356. (9) - S2x05 - Touch a Touch a Touch a Touch Me

357. (9) - S2x09 - The Living Years

358. (9) - S2x10 - You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

359. (9) - S2x12 - Fat Bottomed Girls

360. (9) - S2x21 - Try a Little Tenderness

361. (9) - S3x03 - It's All Over

362. (9) - S3x03 - Out Here On My Own

363. (9) - S3x10 - Moves Like Jagger/Jumpin' Jack Flash

364. (9) - S3x11 - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'

365. (9) - S3x12 - Don't Wanna Lose You

366. (9) - S3x15 - Fighter

367. (9) - S3x16 - Stayin' Alive

368. (9) - S3x16 - Disco Inferno

369. (9) - S3x16 - If I Can't Have You

370. (9) - S3x18 - School's Out

371. (9) - S3x19 - Dinosaur

372. (9) - S4x02 - Oops!...I Did It Again

373. (9) - S4x09 - O Holy Night

374. (9) - S4x12 - Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)

375. (9) - S4x12 - A Thousand Years

376. (9) - S4x14 - Anything Could Happen

377. (9) - S4x16 - How to Be a Heartbreaker

378. (9) - S4x16 - The Bitch Is Back/Dress You Up

379. (9) - S4x18 - Your Song

380. (9) - S4x19 - Outcast

381. (9) - S4x19 - Don't Stop Believin' (Rachel)

382. (9) - S4x19 - Next to Me

383. (9) - S4x20 - Longest Time

384. (9) - S4x21 - You Are the Sunshine of My Life

385. (9) - S5x01 - Drive My Car

386. (9) - S5x01 - Yesterday

387. (9) - S5x01 - I Saw Her Standing There

388. (9) - S5x02 - Get Back

389. (9) - S5x02 - Let It Be

390. (9) - S5x04 - Roar

391. (9) - S5x05 - Wrecking Ball

392. (9) - S5x06 - Piano Man

393. (9) - S5x07 - Into the Groove

394. (9) - S5x08 - Here Comes Santa Claus (Down Santa Claus Lane)

395. (9) - S5x08 - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

396. (9) - S5x10 - The Happening

397. (9) - S5x10 - Jumpin' Jumpin'

398. (9) - S5x14 - Rockstar

399. (9) - S5x14 - Downtown

400. (9) - S5x18 - Wake Me Up

401. (9) - S5x18 - Doo Wop (That Thing)

402. (9) - S5x19 - Werewolves of London

403. (9) - S5x19 - Memory

404. (9) - S5x20 - No Time At All

405. (9) - S6x03 - It's Too Late

406. (9) - S6x05 - It Must Have Been Love

407. (9) - S6x06 - Arthur's Theme

408. (9) - S6x06 - What the World Needs Now

409. (9) - S6x07 - I Know Where I've Been

410. (9) - S6x09 - Cool Kids

411. (8) - S1x02 - I Say a Little Prayer

412. (8) - S1x03 - Bust Your Windows

413. (8) - S1x04 - Taking Chances

414. (8) - S1x07 - Keep Holding On

415. (8) - S1x08 - Sweet Caroline

416. (8) - S1x10 - Lean On Me

417. (8) - S1x11 - Hair/Crazy In Love

418. (8) - S1x11 - Papa Don't Preach

419. (8) - S1x14 - Hello, Goodbye

420. (8) - S1x15 - Like a Virgin

421. (8) - S1x15 - Borderline/Open Your Heart

422. (8) - S1x16 - A House Is Not a Home

423. (8) - S1x17 - U Can't Touch This

424. (8) - S1x17 - Physical

425. (8) - S1x18 - Lady Is a Tramp

426. (8) - S1x20 - Beth

427. (8) - S1x21 - Give Up the Funk

428. (8) - S2x03 - I Look to You

429. (8) - S2x05 - There's a Light (Over at the Frankenstein Place)

430. (8) - S2x05 - Science Fiction Double Feature

431. (8) - S2x06 - One Love (People Get Ready)

432. (8) - S2x07 - Singing In the Rain/Umbrella

433. (8) - S2x07 - Nowadays/Hot Honey rag

434. (8) - S2x07 - Make 'Em Laugh

435. (8) - S2x09 - Don't Cry for Me Argentina

436. (8) - S2x10 - Last Christmas

437. (8) - S2x10 - Welcome Christmas

438. (8) - S2x10 - Merry Christmas, Darling

439. (8) - S2x12 - Firework

440. (8) - S2x14 - Blame It (On the Alcohol)

441. (8) - S2x15 - Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)

442. (8) - S2x17 - Turning Tables

443. (8) - S2x19 - Go Your Own Way

444. (8) - S2x20 - Jar of Hearts

445. (8) - S2x20 - Isn't She Lovely

446. (8) - S3x03 - Cool

447. (8) - S3x07 - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

448. (8) - S3x07 - I Kissed a Girl

449. (8) - S3x08 - Control

450. (8) - S3x08 - Man in the Mirror

451. (8) - S3x08 - We Are Young

452. (8) - S3x09 - River

453. (8) - S3x11 - Ben

454. (8) - S3x12 - La Isla Bonita

455. (8) - S3x13 - Stereo Hearts

456. (8) - S3x16 - You Should Be Dancing

457. (8) - S3x17 - My Love Is Your Love

458. (8) - S3x17 - I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)

459. (8) - S3x18 - Cry

460. (8) - S3x19 - Big Girls Don't Cry

461. (8) - S3x21 - Pinball Wizard

462. (8) - S3x22 - Glory Days

463. (8) - S4x02 - Everytime

464. (8) - S4x02 - Crazy/U Drive Me Crazy

465. (8) - S4x02 - 3

466. (8) - S4x03 - A Change Would Do You Good

467. (8) - S4x06 - Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee

468. (8) - S4x07 - Superman

469. (8) - S4x08 - Live While We're Young

470. (8) - S4x10 - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

471. (8) - S4x11 - No Scrubs

472. (8) - S4x11 - I Don't Know How to Love Him

473. (8) - S4x15 - Unchained Melody

474. (8) - S4x15 - Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend/Material Girl

475. (8) - S4x15 - In Your Eyes

476. (8) - S4x16 - I Still Believe/Super Bass

477. (8) - S4x16 - Bye Bye Bye/I Want It That Way

478. (8) - S4x17 - My Prerogative

479. (8) - S4x19 - Fight for Your Right (to Party)

480. (8) - S4x20 - Everybody Hurts

481. (8) - S4x20 - At the Ballet

482. (8) - S4x20 - Little Girls

483. (8) - S4x21 - For Once in My Life

484. (8) - S5x02 - Something

485. (8) - S5x03 - Fire and Rain

486. (8) - S5x04 - Applause

487. (8) - S5x06 - My Life

488. (8) - S5x06 - Just the Way You Are

489. (8) - S5x09 - Whenever I Call You Friend

490. (8) - S5x12 - Defying Gravity

491. (8) - S5x13 - Loser Like Me

492. (8) - S5x14 - People

493. (8) - S5x16 - Love Is a Battlefield

494. (8) - S5x19 - Lucky Star

495. (8) - S6x04 - Whip It

496. (8) - S6x05 - Father Figure

497. (8) - S6x05 - My Sharona

498. (8) - S6x06 - I'll Never Fall in Love Again

499. (8) - S6x08 - Our Day Will Come

500. (8) - S6x08 - I'm So Excited

501. (8) - S6x08 - At Last

502. (8) - S6x09 - Uptown Funk

503. (8) - S6x09 - I Want to Break Free

504. (8) - S6x10 - Far From Over

505. (8) - S6x11 - Take Me to Church

506. (8) - S6x13 - This Time

507. (7) - S1x01 - Respect

508. (7) - S1x01 - Rehab

509. (7) - S1x02 - Take a Bow

510. (7) - S1x03 - Mercy

511. (7) - S1x05 - Somebody to Love

512. (7) - S1x07 - You Keep Me Hanging On

513. (7) - S1x08 - Bust A Move

514. (7) - S1x10 - Don't Stand So Close to Me/Young Girl

515. (7) - S1x12 - Jump

516. (7) - S1x15 - Vogue

517. (7) - S1x16 - One Less Bell to Answer/A House Is Not a Home

518. (7) - S1x20 - Poker Face

519. (7) - S1x21 - It's a Man's Man's Man's World

520. (7) - S2x01 - Empire State of Mind

521. (7) - S2x02 - The Only Exception

522. (7) - S2x03 - Only the Good Die Young

523. (7) - S2x08 - Ohio

524. (7) - S2x16 - Candles

525. (7) - S2x18 - I've Gotta Be Me

526. (7) - S2x19 - Dreams

527. (7) - S2x19 - Never Going Back Again

528. (7) - S3x03 - Fix You

529. (7) - S3x04 - Bein' Green

530. (7) - S3x07 - Jolene

531. (7) - S3x09 - Christmas Wrapping

532. (7) - S3x09 - Extraordinary Merry Christmas

533. (7) - S3x09 - Blue Christmas

534. (7) - S3x11 - I Just Can't Stop Loving You

535. (7) - S3x13 - Let Me Love You

536. (7) - S3x15 - Up Up Up

537. (7) - S3x16 - How Deep Is Your Love

538. (7) - S3x19 - Love You Like a Love Song

539. (7) - S3x21 - Starships

540. (7) - S4x03 - The Way You Look Tonight/You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile

541. (7) - S4x04 - Barely Breathing

542. (7) - S4x05 - Juke Box Hero

543. (7) - S4x06 - Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)

544. (7) - S4x10 - The First Noel

545. (7) - S4x10 - Jingle Bell Rock

546. (7) - S4x11 - I Only Have Eyes for You

547. (7) - S4x15 - You're All the World to Me

548. (7) - S4x20 - You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'

549. (7) - S4x21 - I Wish

550. (7) - S4x22 - Rainbow Connection

551. (7) - S5x06 - Honesty

552. (7) - S5x06 - You May Be Right

553. (7) - S5x07 - Nasty/Rhythm Nation

554. (7) - S5x08 - O Christmas Tree

555. (7) - S5x09 - My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)

556. (7) - S5x10 - Hold On

557. (7) - S5x10 - Danny's Song

558. (7) - S5x14 - Don't Sleep in the Subway

559. (7) - S5x16 - Addicted to Love

560. (7) - S5x17 - Lovefool

561. (7) - S5x18 - Story of My Life

562. (7) - S5x20 - Girls on Film

563. (7) - S6x04 - Rock Lobster

564. (7) - S6x09 - Break Free

565. (7) - S6x11 - We Built This City

566. (7) - S6x11 - Chandelier

567. (6) - S1x01 - On My Own

568. (6) - S1x01 - Leaving On a Jet Plane

569. (6) - S1x02 - Push It

570. (6) - S1x02 - Gold Digger

571. (6) - S1x04 - Tonight

572. (6) - S1x05 - Cabaret

573. (6) - S1x05 - Maybe This Time

574. (6) - S1x12 - Smile (Charlie Chaplin)

575. (6) - S1x12 - Smile (Lily Allen)

576. (6) - S1x17 - Run Joey Run

577. (6) - S1x18 - Pink Houses

578. (6) - S1x18 - One

579. (6) - S1x21 - Tell Me Something Good

580. (6) - S2x03 - One of Us

581. (6) - S2x13 - Sing

582. (6) - S2x13 - Baby

583. (6) - S3x06 - You and I/You and I

584. (6) - S3x07 - I'm the Only One

585. (6) - S3x08 - Red Solo Cup

586. (6) - S3x09 - Do They Know It's Christmas?

587. (6) - S3x10 - Wedding Bell Blues (Bill)

588. (6) - S3x10 - The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

589. (6) - S3x11 - Scream

590. (6) - S3x13 - You're the Top

591. (6) - S3x13 - Home

592. (6) - S3x16 - More Than a Woman

593. (6) - S3x20 - Mean

594. (6) - S3x22 - You Get What You Give

595. (6) - S4x08 - Let's Have a Kiki/Turkey Lurkey Time

596. (6) - S4x12 - Centerfold/Hot in Herre

597. (6) - S4x12 - Torn

598. (6) - S4x14 - We've Got Tonite

599. (6) - S4x16 - Closer

600. (6) - S4x22 - Hall of Fame

601. (6) - S5x03 - No Surrender

602. (6) - S5x11 - I Love LA

603. (6) - S5x12 - Raise Your Glass

604. (6) - S5x17 - NYC

605. (6) - S5x18 - Piece of My Heart

606. (6) - S6x01 - Let It Go

607. (6) - S6x04 - Bitch

608. (6) - S6x06 - They Long to Be Close to You

609. (6) - S6x09 - Lose My Breath

610. (6) - S6x10 - The Trolley Song

611. (5) - S1x01 - Can't Fight This Feeling

612. (5) - S1x01 - You're the One That I Want (ver. 1)

613. (5) - S1x05 - Last Name

614. (5) - S1x05 - Alone

615. (5) - S1x07 - Hate On Me

616. (5) - S1x07 - Ride Wit Me

617. (5) - S1x07 - No Air

618. (5) - S1x08 - I Could Have Danced All Night

619. (5) - S1x08 - What A Girl Wants

620. (5) - S1x10 - (You're Having My Baby)

621. (5) - S1x10 - Endless Love

622. (5) - S1x10 - Crush

623. (5) - S1x11 - Bootylicious

624. (5) - S1x11 - Don't Make Me Over

625. (5) - S1x21 - Loser

626. (5) - S2x01 - Every Rose Has Its Thorn

627. (5) - S2x03 - Papa, Can You Hear Me?

628. (5) - S2x14 - My Headband

629. (5) - S2x16 - Big Ass Heart

630. (5) - S3x18 - The Rain in Spain

631. (5) - S4x06 - There Are Worse Things I Could Do

632. (5) - S4x10 - Feliz Navidad

633. (5) - S4x10 - Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah

634. (5) - S5x08 - Mary's Little Boy Child

635. (5) - S5x08 - Away in a Manger

636. (5) - S5x08 - Love Child

637. (5) - S5x12 - Happy

638. (5) - S6x10 - Rise

639. (5) - S6x10 - The Final Countdown

640. (4) - S1x17 - Ice Ice Baby

641. (4) - S1x21 - Good Vibrations

642. (4) - S2x03 - Losing My Religion

643. (4) - S2x13 - I Know What Boys Like

644. (4) - S2x17 - I Follow Rivers

645. (4) - S3x16 - Night Fever

646. (4) - S4x08 - Gangnam Style

647. (4) - S4x11 - Baby Got Back

648. (4) - S4x17 - Creep

649. (4) - S5x05 - You Are Woman, I Am Man

650. (4) - S5x07 - The Fox

651. (4) - S6x07 - All About That Bass

652. (4) - S6x09 - Friday I'm in Love

653. (3) - S1x01 - Sit Down You're Rockin the Boat

654. (3) - S1x01 - Mr. Cellophane

655. (3) - S1x03 - I Wanna Sex You Up

656. (3) - S1x15 - What It Feels Like for a Girl

657. (3) - S1x19 - Safety Dance

658. (3) - S2x01 - Getting to Know You

659. (3) - S2x20 - Friday

660. (3) - S2x22 - Bella Notte

661. (3) - S3x04 - Waiting for a Girl Like You

662. (3) - S3x12 - Sexy and I Know It

663. (2) - S1x01 - I Kissed a Girl

664. (2) - S2x14 - One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

665. (2) - S2x15 - Kiss

666. (2) - S5x05 - Blurred Lines

667. (1) - S1x08 - Thong Song

668. (1) - S2x15 - Afternoon Delight

669. (1) - S3x06 - Hot for Teacher

670. (1) - S3x12 - A Little Less Conversation

671. (1) - S5x07 - Cheek to Cheek

672. (1) - S5x08 - The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)

673. (1) - S6x07 - Same Love

674. (NA) - S2x04 - With You I'm Born Again

675. (NA) - S2x05 - Planet, Schmanet, Janet

676. (NA) - S2x07 - Conjunction Junction

677. (NA) - S2x12 - My Funny Valentine

678. (NA) - S2x13 - This Little Light of Mine

679. (NA) - S2x16 - Jesus Is My Friend

680. (NA) - S2x16 - Only Child

681. (NA) - S2x19 - Nice to Meet You, Have I Slept with You?

682. (NA) - S2x22 - Still Got Tonight

683. (NA) - S3x01 - Big Spender

684. (NA) - S3x04 - Take Care of Yourself

685. (NA) - S3x13 - Chapel of Love

686. (NA) - S3x18 - The Music of the Night

687. (NA) - S4x01 - Sister Christian

688. (NA) - S4x05 - Born to Hand Jive

689. (NA) - S4x09 - Don't Dream It's Over

690. (NA) - S4x09 - Being Good Isn't Good Enough

691. (NA) - S5x02 - Revolution

692. (NA) - S6x02 - Viva Voce

693. (NA) - S6x11 - Mickey

694. (NA) - S6x11 - Come Sail Away

695. (NA) - S6x11 - Listen to Your Heart

696. (NA) - S6x12 - Pony

697. (NA) - S6x12 - Popular

698. (NA) - S6x12 - I'm His Child

699. (NA) - S6x12 - I Kissed a Girl

700. (NA) - S6x13 - Someday We'll Be Together

701. (NA) - S6x13 - Teach Your Children

702. (NA) - S6x13 - The Winner Takes It All

[bunivys]

I don’t know why but this feels like nick and Sabrina to me.

- “i said UGLY christmas sweaters not nsfw christmas sweaters, we can NOT wear these, my boss will kill me”

I stayed up late to finish this one because I could not, for the life of me, stop laughing LOL. Here you go, thank you for sending this in! ❤️😹 (btw, this is set in some random mortal AU lol)

“Nick!” Sabrina called as she bounded up the mortuary’s stairway, the front door shutting behind her, heels hanging by their straps in her hands. “Did you get the sweaters like I asked?”

The annual Christmas festival was being held in Greendale’s city park at the very center of the downtown district. It was a small patch of green set in between the buildings, and, as of that morning, it had been crammed full of various food and art booths, set to sell Christmas trinkets and last-minute gifts, as well as handmade decor like wreaths and ornaments. Hilda herself was going to be there selling her famous Christmas cookies. 

More importantly, Sabrina had been in charge of organizing it, answering directly to the town’s Mayor. She was set to take the stage and introduce the event that evening, and her nerves had been on edge since the second she had woken up. Nick had offered her several extra kisses on her way out that morning, letting her know that if she needed anything to text him. Halfway through the day, it had dawned on her that she’d forgotten to order a set of ugly Christmas sweaters for them to wear to the event and had tasked him with taking care of it.

“Of course,” Nick said, the door to her room swinging wide open to reveal him. “I literally only had one job, and I did it.”

“Oh, thank God.” She followed him into the room. “Let me see what you got.”

Across her bed were randomly splayed Christmas sweaters and as Sabrina glanced over them, her eyes shot wide open. She had requested ugly sweaters, things covered in tinsel and pom-poms and stupid, harmless phrases, but definitely not this.

“Nick,” Sabrina squawked, “are you freaking serious?” Nick looked entirely too innocent as she lifted up one of the sweaters, holding it up to her chest so that it faced him. Along the front of it, in bold, sparkly text in varying Christmas colors, it read: Unwrap me for a naughty surprise. 

“What?” Nick replied, pressing his lips together in order to keep a straight face. “You don’t have to pick that one, there are plenty to choose from.” He motioned toward the pile.

“Oh, really?” Sabrina grabbed for another, her voice tight as she picked up a green sweater with a string of battery-operated lights attached to the front. “You mean like this one that says: ‘Please turn me on.’ Or wait, maybe—” she tossed that one at him, pausing only long enough to hold up a different one with a winking Santa on it,  “—‘Ask your mom if I’m real?’” Her voice rose in pitch as she read it out, ringing deep with disbelief and utter shock at the thought that a sweater like that could even exist.

“’Jingle my bells’?” Sabrina nearly shouted a second later.

Nick chuckled.

“This isn’t funny! You’ve lost your goddamned mind, Nicholas!” She knew she was frowning, and she thought one of her eyes might have been twitching from anger. Ambrose came sauntering in, drawn in by the volume of her voice ringing through the house. 

“What’s going on?” Ambrose asked. “I’m pretty sure the neighbors can hear you, and they’re all dead.”

Sabrina’s face lit up bright red, ready to snap at him, too. Before she could, Nick went on to casually say, “We’re picking between Christmas sweaters. It’s between those or—” he picked up the last one, held it up against his chest that time, and read out, “‘Santa’s favorite ho’”

“Ooh,” Ambrose sang. “I’ll take that one, please!”

“I hate you both,” Sabrina seethed. “This is not what I asked for and you—” She turned to look at Nick, who immediately straightened up and played serious again, even though he had nearly dissolved into laughter with Ambrose a split second earlier. “You—you—”

“Babe,” Nick cut in.

“Do not interrupt me, or so help you God and Satan himself, Nicholas, your soul will forever be tied to the morgue below because I am going to—” She stopped herself, shut her eyes for a few moments, and forced herself to breathe deeply as the reality of the situation slowly dawned on her. There wasn’t enough time to go back to the store. All of them were closed for the evening in anticipation of the festival. She was going to be laughed at forever. “The mayor is going to be there. I’m presenting this stupid event and I have to come in as ‘Santa’s favorite ho?’ Are you serious?”

“That title’s actually taken—” Ambrose interrupted. He shut up quickly when Sabrina shot him a pointed look.

Nick set his hands carefully on her shoulders. “Babe, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking—”

“No shit!”

“I wasn’t thinking it would it would turn into this, Sabrina, I knew you were stressed and I just wanted to make you laugh. Look.” He held up his hands as she tried to barge in with another sentence. “I didn’t show you this one yet.” Nick picked up the last sweater, a little red one she hadn’t noticed had been tossed over her headboard. It had a black cat on the front, similar to Salem, with text that read, ‘Meowy Christmas!’ across the top.

“Oh,” Sabrina exhaled, her anger dialing back several notches suddenly, leaving a small pout on her face instead. “I—Oh. Okay, well, that one works. I guess.”

“I’m so sorry, Sabrina, I was hoping you would laugh.” He held out his arms tentatively. “Come here?”

Sabrina begrudgingly walked into his embrace, and Nick draped his arms around her, rubbing a hand up and down her back. He kissed her hair, her forehead, any part of her he could reach, repeating how sorry he was. 

“Whatever,” Sabrina grumbled, not quite ready to admit that in hindsight, it had been sort of funny. At the very least, she understood that Nick had only tried to cheer her up, even if she was still a little peeved.

“Forgive me?” Nick asked sheepishly. “I might not Santa’s favorite ho, but I could still be yours?”

Sabrina rolled her eyes and took the cat sweater from him, pulling away so that she could off and change before he actually made her laugh with one of his stupid jokes. She was certain they were running late by now, too. “I’m divorcing you,” she announced on her way.

“But we’re not married,” Nick replied, suddenly a little nervous himself.

“Well, consider it never happening now.” 

“Sabrina, wait—”

The door to her bathroom shut, but he briefly saw the corner of her smirk before it was gone.

Ambrose, who had already donned his sweater, shrugged and said, “You can sleep in my room tonight.”

[baphomet-media]

Dad of Boy - A God of War (2018) Review

Genre: Adventure

Subgenre: 3D Adventure

Developer: SIE Santa Monica Studio

Publisher: Sony Interactive Entertainment

Platform(s): PS4

Release Date: April 20th, 2018

I have never played a God of War game before. Though I know the basic gist of the story (Kratos kills all of the Greek pantheon before they can kill him through powers of rage), that’s about it. Still, I saw nothing but praise for the new game, and the setting, story, and gameplay that I saw intrigued me. I got the game as a gift a short while ago, after it seemed to collectively drop off the media’s radar, and eventually decided to give it a shot. So, does it live up to the hype? Let’s dig in.

Story

God of War 2018 (GoW18) takes place many years after the events of the previous games. Kratos, the former bloodthirsty deicidal barbarian Ghost of Sparta has moved to a new land of giants, dwarves, and Norse gods, and has settled down with a wife and child. But Kratos cannot run away from his godhood forever, and things catch up with him one day after his wife dies, when a mysterious stranger shows up at Kratos’s door. The two engage in a brutal fight, with Kratos seemingly emerging victorious. Kratos and his young son Atreus then must set off to take Kratos’s wife’s ashes to the top of the tallest peak in all the realms.

Along the way, Kratos teaches his son about how to survive in the world, in his own gruff way, of course. The interplay between Kratos’s grim and serious nature contrasts delightfully with Atreus’s impatience and youthful energy. Various other friendly and hostile faces present themselves throughout the story, with the highlights being dwarf brothers Brok and Sindri, two dwarf smiths with clashing personalities that spend most of the game passive-aggressively bickering about how horrible of a smith the other is, but actually do their best work together. The supporting cast are all fantastic, however the enemies left a lot to be desired, and there were very few actual named enemies, making a lot of the story beats just feeling like they lacked impact, and were instead just stepping stones along Kratos’s way. Still, there were plenty of moments of good humor and intrigue, especially for anyone with an interest in mythology, particularly the Norse variety.

While the game does not have a completely canonical representation of Norse myth, it takes a lot of the established characters and ideas and puts its own grim spin on them. I enjoyed learning a bit about different mythological figures and events, even if the majority of them are merely exposited to the player and make no physical appearance in the game itself. It leaves me wanting more, and hopeful for a sequel.

Gameplay

From what I know about past God of War games, combat used to revolve around Kratos using his Blades of Chaos, two beefy short swords chained together, which he uses to spin, grapple, slam, and juggle hordes of foes. GoW18 takes a different approach, slowing things down and moving the camera over Kratos’s shoulder. His main weapon now is the Leviathan Axe, which excels at one-on-one combat, and can also be thrown and returned for ranged combat. To put it plainly, combat in this game feels a bit more like Dark Souls than Devil May Cry. Longtime fans of the series may be disappointed in the shift in gameplay direction, but as a relative outsider, I found the combat enjoyable. I liked that it made me think about my strikes, blocks, parries, and throws, instead of mindlessly mashing attack buttons to rack up insane combos.

However, combat demands that you stay in control. Even the weakest enemies can drain your health quickly, as Kratos is vulnerable to being stunlocked. Plus (at least on the Hard difficulty, which I played) enemies have a ton of HP, so you’ll need around 5-6 combos to finish off most weaker enemies. It doesn’t help that the beginning of the game only drip-feeds you the controls, so I got killed multiple times on the first enemy because I had no idea that Kratos had a shield or how to dodge properly.

Still, as you progress through the game, the number and strength of enemies increase, but the overall challenge gradually decreases as you unlock new moves and combat options to help you deal more damage, more easily stagger enemies, and better deal with multiple foes. Unfortunately, for most of the game, the combat struggles when there are multiple foes. The lock-on system is extremely reluctant to switch enemies, and it’s sometimes difficult to maneuver, dodge blows, and keep the camera looking where you want all at once. Particularly in boss fights, which are numerous.

Still, when it goes right, using the shield to parry, and landing heavy blows with the Leviathan Axe is very satisfying. Along the way Atreus himself gets more capable in combat, improving his archery, and learning assist moves that distract enemies and set them up for combos by Kratos. You can also command Atreus to shoot arrows and use special abilities, which gives you more options in combat. This starts out being only marginally helpful, but gets much more useful the further you advance in the game, and Atreus also gains abilities that help you progress in the overworld, allowing you to bypass obstacles that Kratos couldn’t deal with on his own.

The game has a fairly expansive world, though this is not so much in the sheer size of the world, but more in that the main area of the world is constantly revealing more depth to it. The Lake of Nine, the game’s main area, is constantly revealing new areas to explore, which constantly keeps it fresh, although sometimes it definitely feels like you’re constantly revisiting the same areas. At most points in the game, you can explore freely, though you may stumble across challenges and enemies that are too difficult for you to tackle at your current power level and need to come back once you’ve powered up by upgrading your gear. On one hand, I like this, because it gives you the option to try instead of just locking out higher-level content, but on the other hand, even if you’re really good at the game, you’ll have a lot of difficulty felling enemies that are even slightly higher in level than you, mostly because their HP is ridiculously high, which leads back into enemies feeling like HP sponges.

Presentation

GoW18 is a gorgeous game to look at, with the scenery being drenched in detail. The various realms that you travel to throughout the game also add differences in visual appeal, keeping things fresh when you’re outside of Midgard.

While the game doesn’t have much in the way of music, the heavy brass and choir vocals on more dark and foreboding tracks remind the listener of Kratos’s violent past, and let you know not to mess with him. You don’t want to be on the receiving end of his Spartan Rage when that music swells!

The voice acting in the game is top-notch. Christopher Judge is great as Kratos, and as a longtime Stargate fan, it’s funny just to see how much Kratos mirrors Judge’s previous role as Stargate’s Teal’c. I also particularly enjoyed the voice acting of the character Mimir, voiced by Alastair Duncan, who exposits his own twisted take on Norse mythology to the father-son duo during travel periods. The rest of the cast are fantastic in their own right, as well.

Conclusion

God of War 2018 is a great game that manages to step out of the shadow of its previous games to create something unique and new for itself. Despite how violent and dark the series is, GoW18 tells a touching story of a father and son getting to know each other better, travelling the world together, and meeting all manner of colorful friends and foes. The combat, while slower and more methodical than previous games and tedious at times on higher difficulties, rewards skillful play and empowers the player more and more as they stick with it.

All in all, if you have a PS4 and like action games, definitely give this one a try. You’ll be glad you did. I look forward to Kratos’s and Atreus’s further adventures on the PS5 when God of War Ragnarok comes out next year!

Score: 8 / 10

[theherothechampiontheinquisitor]

Peter Parker’s Best Birthday Ever

By @theherothechampiontheinquisitor (MelissaBosquez on AO3) for @superherotiger

Read it on AO3 HERE

For the 2020 Friendly Neighborhood Exchange @friendly-neighborhood-exchange

Rating: G

Relationships: Tony/Pepper, Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts

Summary: Peter Parker was orphaned at the age of 11 when his family was killed an a car accident. Luckily he wasn’t alone for long when billionaire and literal superhero, Tony Stark, swoops in one day and agrees to become a foster parent. However, Peter can’t help but think even as the years go by that he always has one foot out the door, waiting for the day that Tony will decide he doesn’t want to be a parent anymore…he just didn’t think it would happen on his 16th birthday.

OR

Peter overhears a conversation and is convinced that he is going to be sent back into foster care, but not everything is as it seems.

Peter’s alarm clock shrilled through the air, shockingly early that morning, stunning him out of a peaceful sleep. It was only 8am which on a weekday might be considered a good time to sleep in until but today was saturday, and it was definitely way too early to be up. Why had he set it for that early?

Peter felt a nervous anticipation in his stomach as his mind tried to work, still too foggy from sleep to be fully functioning, when suddenly it all clicked into place.

Today was the day!

Peter threw the covers off of him and jumped out of the bed in his excitement, swaying slightly on his feet from the head rush of moving too quickly. He rushed to stand in front of his floor length mirror and inspected his facial features and body intently to see if anything looked differently.

Today was his sweet sixteen birthday.

Biologically he looked the same, though he thought maybe he had just a few more bits of facial hair starting to crop up, not that it was enough to really mention, but every day was one more step to losing the soft baby face features he had carried with him from birth. He’d get there eventually. He hoped.

Not wasting anymore time he ran into his closet and pulled out some clean clothes before rushing to his bathroom and taking a shower and completing his morning routine. Today was his birthday and as such that meant that today was the day that Pepper would be in the kitchen making all of his favorite breakfast things, followed by an obnoxiously extravagant birthday party, as had always been the case since he had come to live with Tony and Pepper five years ago.

It had been just before his eleventh birthday when Peter had experienced the most horrible day of his life. Peter, his parents and his aunt and uncle had all been loaded up in his father’s SUV to celebrate something or another, Peter could hardly remember that day, when another vehicle had jumped the center divider and crashed into their car.

Peter was the only survivor.

With no other family to speak of, the hospital had tasked a social worker to begin the process of finding him a foster home to stay in when he was finally cleared from the hospital.

It had been by complete chance that day that billionaire and literal superhero, Tony Stark had been visiting the Children’s ward of the hospital. According to the chatter from the nurses it was a fairly common occurrence, the man often stopping in to visit and dispense gifts like some kind of Santa Clause.

Peter had always admired Tony, first for his technology, having always held a certain affinity for science and creating, but that had spread ten fold after he became Iron Man. He had even met him once at a Stark Expo, getting an autograph and a pat on the head that he would use to fuel him through bad days for years.

When the man had visited though, Peter couldn’t bring himself to care. He had just lost his entire world and was about to be dropped into an unknown future where he’d probably be pulled out of his school and away from his friends. He’d never get to hug his parents again or never hear his Aunt May laugh at his Uncle Ben’s corny jokes and not even the latest Stark Pad could ever hope to put a dent in that pain.

So, he had kept himself turned away from Tony’s theatrics as he handed out gifts and sat and spoke to all of the kids and their parents. There were no parents to sit with Peter. He had been alone, but thankfully neither that or Peter’s cool reception had been able to stop Tony.

Tony sat and talked to him for hours that first night, first telling funny jokes and stories trying to get Peter to smile, but then he changed tactics.

“The nurse told me your situation. I know it’s not the same but I lost my family when I was really young too.”

That had caught Peter’s attention because he hadn’t realized that. So, he began to open up a little. He responded to Tony, and for the first time  since the accident he didn’t feel so alone anymore.

They continued on like that until Peter recovered and they would talk about everything, science, tech, baseball, Iron Man. Each night it grew a little bit harder to say goodbye to Tony at the end of visiting hours but even though he was busy he always promised to come back the next day and he always kept his word.  

The day that Peter had been discharged he felt like he was losing the one little bright spot in this entire disaster, having to leave before the time that Tony would normally come and see him, so he didn’t even get to say goodbye.

Little did Peter know he’d find himself stepping out of the social worker’s dinged up Volvo and being met at the bottom of Stark Tower by none other than Tony Stark.

“Surprise,” Tony had said, holding his hands open and stretched out into the air. “This is okay, right? I just…couldn’t let you go yet, kid.” The thin veneer of confidence had faded and shown through to his true emotions, the apprehension evident in his face and the way he shuffled his feet.

Peter had immediately rushed into the man’s arms and hugged him, thankful that if he had to go through this nightmare, he at least was able to go through it with someone who seemed to like him.

That didn’t mean they never had their ups and downs. Tony had no experience being a foster parent or a disciplinarian. Peter’s emotions would often swing back and forth wildly, especially that first year, from sadness to anger and they would fight and misunderstand each other and there was a steep learning curve but they got through it, mostly with the help of a therapist for Peter and the guidance of Tony’s long term girlfriend Pepper Potts. Without Pepper, Tony would have been a mess and they all knew it.

They had finally married last year and Peter had been the best man. He finally felt like he was part of a family again and he hoped that maybe one day they could all make it official.

Peter finished drying his hair and pulling on his clothes, flashing himself a smile in the mirror before rushing out to partake in Peter’s birthday breakfast tradition.

He approached the kitchen quietly, hoping that he’d maybe be able to sneak up on his foster parents and  give them a little birthday scare when he heard them speaking in hushed whispers. Peter got excited when he realized that it was about him and more than likely what was in store for his birthday party that day. He pressed his back against the wall around the corner from the kitchen and listened in.

“Tony we really need to tell him now, before the baby gets here,” Pepper said, cracking an egg and letting it drop into the skillet.

Peter almost gasped. A baby? He smiled brightly at the thought. He knew it was something that Tony and Pepper had been tossing around in discussions since they first got married but now it was a real tangible reality.

Then the darker side of his mind chimed in, the side that was filled with all the insecurities and pain that came from becoming an orphan and dealing with the major trauma of that loss. It had been hard to silence that part of himself and though he was better about it now, it was always there lurking in the background, like now, saying that now that Tony and Pepper were going to have their own baby, they wouldn’t want Peter around anymore.

"I know we do, I just don’t know how I’m going to do this, Pep.”

“Just tell him the truth. It’s been coming for years now, I’m sure he has to expect it at this point. Now that we are having a baby, it just moved the timeline up a bit,” she said, gently squeezing Tony’s shoulder. “This was never going to be forever.”

“That doesn’t make it any easier or mean he’ll be happy about it. It’s a delicate situation. I have to break it to him gently and just hope he doesn’t hate me.”

Now Peter’s blood pressure was rising. They weren’t just talking about the baby. They were talking about him, and all of his worst fears were coming to light. They really were wanting to get rid of him, send him back to foster care after all this time. Just when he thought that maybe someday they would want to adopt him, call Peter their son.

He had been so stupid.

He thumped his head back against the wall, stupidly alerting the Starks to his position. The chatter immediately ceased and then Tony popped his head around the corner, his face lit up in a smile.

“THERE’S THE BIRTHDAY BOY!” he shouted, loud enough for Pepper to hear him and fondly roll her eyes.

“Happy birthday, Peter!” she smiled as she finished up their breakfast and Tony wrapped an arm around his shoulder and drug him into the room.

Peter smiled and laughed and ate his blueberry pancakes with the whipped cream and blew out the birthday candle that it was always topped with. He played the part of the happy sixteen year old but inside his heart had been filled with dread and anxiety wondering when exactly Tony was going to tell him that he was being sent back to foster care.

“Hey Pete, did you get everything you wished for?” Tony asked coming to sit down on the couch next to Peter, an arm instantly going over the young boy’s shoulders and giving him a quick squeeze.

Pete gave a half smile because he didn’t want for Tony to think that he didn’t like his gifts or his party. He knew that he and Pepper always went to a lot of trouble to make sure that he had everything that he needed and to make him feel wanted. It really was a great day once he had been able to forget the Stark’s hushed conversation that morning but now that his friends were gone and the party over, he was once again left alone with the dread and the fear.

“Mostly, I think.”

“Mostly? Hmm. That won’t do.” Tony hummed and squinted his eyes up in thought.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to seem ungrateful, I loved everything, really. You guys outdid yourselves.”

“Well, sixteen is an important age. Your first taste of being an adult y’know?  You can get your driver’s license and the curfew extends an extra hour and was it just me or does there seem to be a little bit of a romance blooming with you and MJ?”

Peter’s cheeks heated a little at the mention of MJ and how they maybe hadn’t been quite as secretive as they had thought. Tony just smiled knowingly.

“So, you really did have a good day though? The balloons and photobooth too much? You know Pepper talked me down from most of what I wanted to do because she’s not fun like we are.”

Peter laughed. “Yes, yes. I promise it was great. Maybe a taaaad overboard with the balloons though,” he said kicking at the cluster gathered around their feet, sending colorful balloons flying in every direction.

“Yeeeeeah, maybe just a tad. I’ll cut it back a little next year, deal?” he asked, producing his fist for Peter to bump.

Peter rolled his eyes, like he would even be here next year, but for appearances fist bumped the man anyways, even if no one fist bumped anymore.

“So…” Tony started and then stopped, letting loose a deep sigh. “There is uh, just one more thing that I needed to discuss with you today.”

Peter’s heart started thumping wildly. He hadn’t expected to have this conversation so soon, he just thought maybe he’d be able to get through his entire birthday before having Tony tell him they didn’t want Peter anymore.

Peter swallowed thickly over the lump that formed in his throat and wiped his sweaty hands against his jeans. He was never going to survive this conversation if he let Tony ramble through this conversation like he knew that he would. Tony was good at public speaking but these little heart to hearts always made him nervous. Maybe it would be better for both of them if Peter just ripped the bandaid off right out of the gate.

“Yeah, I already know…”

Tony’s eyes narrowed. “Already know about what?”

“You know,” Peter began, hand flailing in the air ineffectually between them, “about what you’re going to tell me…about Pepper right?”

“Okay, kid, out with it. What do you know?”

Peter really didn’t want to say it. He didn’t want to admit to his eavesdropping and he certainly didn’t want to say out loud the words he had heard that meant that his life was about to shift in the most dramatic way possible for what felt like the millionth time in his short life. If he repeated what he heard out loud it made the words real, concrete, inescapable. Maybe this hadn’t been the best idea. One glance at Tony’s concerned face told him though that there was no way in hell that he was going to escape this conversation.

“I know about Pepper and the baby…” he finally said out loud, popping up from his seat and making another section of balloons bounce and scatter about. His heart was pounding so quickly, he could scarcely hear over the rush of blood in his ears and he shoved his hands in his pockets.

Tony leaned forward off the couch, pushing the sleeves of his sweatshirt back to his elbow and clasping his hands together in front of him on his lap.

“You’re right. I am going to be a father…” Tony started but Peter cut him off before he could get started.

“Which is great! I am really excited for you guys. I know it’s something that you guys have wanted for a really long time and now you can finally have it all…only you can’t. Because you have me.”

“Pete…” Tony started again.

“No, it’s okay, really. I get it. You guys finally can have your own family and I am not really a part of that. I appreciate everything that you guys have done for me, really, I couldn’t have asked for a better pair of foster parents and even though I know I’ll never get this lucky again, I just want you to know that I-I won’t fight you on your decision.”

He was telling the truth. As much as the thought of being sent to another foster home actually gutted his insides he could do this for Tony and Pepper. He couldn’t blame them for wanting a fresh start and getting rid of Peter and all of his baggage was the logical way to go. Maybe if he was lucky he’d still get to visit sometimes, or if that was too much he always had his friends to fall back on for support.

“My decision??” Tony gave him an incredulous look and his voice remained low and flat. It was that same look and tone that he would give Peter when he had been caught in a lie about studying when really he and Ned had been building with Legos all night or if Peter had ate the last piece of pizza on movie night.

“Yeah…” Peter said, reaching his hand behind him to rub at his neck. “Now that you’ll have your own kid…you don’t need me anymore and will be sending me back into the system…I heard you tell Pepper that you had to break it to me gently and hope that I wouldn’t hate you. And I don’t. I get it.”

Now Tony looked absolutely horrified. His mouth was slightly agape and his eyes were wide, hands clenching and unclenching in his lap. Peter should have just let Tony speak first and drop the bomb on him instead of Peter having to painstakingly reveal each moment. It would have been easier for him and the looks of it, easier on Tony. Peter’s gut clenched and he could feel the sting of tears behind his eyes as he thought about having to leave this place.

“Pete…” Tony began once again, his name spoken in a whisper. “Do you really think so little of me?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“Do you really think that after five years I’d just-” he broke off, unable to finish the sentence, turning his head away from Peter as he tried to get his emotions in check.

Confusion began to settle back over Peter and he slowly sat back down on the couch beside Tony, folding one leg beneath him as he turned and adjusted to face the man that had been like a father to him all these years. Tony wasn’t often an emotional man. He was sappy, and corny and every bit that type that loved to do Dad jokes but as far as actually showing tears, that level of emotion was rare and for the first time that morning he wondered if he had got it all wrong.

“I just…I heard what you and Pepper were saying…I’m sorry, I don’t understand. If you guys don’t want to send me back then what did you want to talk about?”

Tony took a deep breath, getting his emotions back in check before turning and reaching into the end table drawer beside the couch and pulling out a rectangular wrapped gift, holding it tightly in his hands.

“Okay, clearly we still have some things that we need to work on to make you feel safer and more secure with us. I hope that this will be a good first step.”

He passed the gift to Peter and it felt thin and floppy in his hands. Gently he tore at the paper, revealing an ordinary looking manila envelope. There was no writing or anything distinguishing looking on the outside as he flipped it over and folded the tongs up. He wasn’t sure what he was really expecting when he pulled the small stack of papers out, all of them signed and dated by Tony and Pepper. It definitely wasn’t a ticket back to the foster care system.

“Is this…” he choked out and covered his mouth, his eyes wildly moving back and forth as he began to read over the document.

“You were right, Peter. I am going to be a father…but I hoped it would be to two children.”

“This is for real? You’re serious?”

“Pepper and I have been talking about it for a long time. I was ready to sign these papers years ago but Pepper thought it was better to let you heal and adjust first. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to, I still won’t send you back to foster care, I don’t want you to ever worry about that, but if you don’t want this then just say the word.”

“Yes.” Peter immediately spoke, looking up from the documents into Tony’s eyes.

“Yes?” Tony questioned cautiously.

“Yes, I want for you to adopt me.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth Peter immediately felt himself being wrapped up in Tony’s arms, hugging him as tight as he could. Peter reciprocated and wondered how he could have ever thought that Tony would toss him away like trash. Tony loved him. Tony was…his dad.

“Pepper has been nagging me to tell you for weeks,” Tony spoke over his shoulder, unwilling to relinquish his grip. “I just couldn’t. I didn’t think you would want this. You’re almost an adult and you’ve already been through so much, I wouldn’t have blamed you, but I wasn’t sure what I’d do if you’d have said no. Gotten over it I guess, but I am really, really happy that you said yes. I swear I wasn’t this nervous when Pepper and I got married,” he laughed wetly, a couple of tears escaping.

Peter laughed with him, his own happy tears starting to fall. “I’m sorry I ever thought you capable of anything else.”

Tony pulled away first. “You have nothing to apologize for. Just promise me that in the future you’ll talk to me first when you start to feel any doubts like that. I love you kid.”

“I will, I promise.”

“Good. Now, did you get everything that you wanted for your birthday?”

“Yes,” Peter grinned, still holding tightly to the adoption papers in his hand. “I really don’t know how you’ll top this next year. This was the best gift I could ever get. I love you…Dad.”

[allyvampirelass29]

Take the Night Road Home

Take the Night Road Home A NOS4A2 Review By: Allyssa J. Watkins

How black is your soul? She took the Shorter Way to the Night Road A chink of glass and a sarcastic toast A chill in the air as he feels her approach Knives drawn in a parking lot Gasoline Fire and Eyes of Black Frost Drunk Whore Mothers are best left forgot To kill her is a kindness Her son, his to soothe Chin up, Victoria I'm the best thing that ever happened to you........

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!! Yes, this SPECTACULAR episode is extra special for me, not only because it was a delirious joy and rare return to form, but because it premiered on July 5th, 2020, my thirtieth birthday, and MY GOD what a TREAT!!!!! Yes, while last week's episode felt like a rotten trick, The Night Road was an absolute treat, with the ooey gooey, chocolatey center, of Vic FINALLY facing off against Charlie!!!! I'm MESMERIZED, I am in LOVE with this episode, and the second it ended, I danced around my living room and started it over again!!!! I feel like gushing, after one HELL of a DREAM DATE!!!!

PARNASSUS!!!!! Oh you guys, ever since the first Parnassus episode, I have been dyinggggg to go back to this surreal nexus of Creative Thought, this funny little pub, where the darker Strong Creatives gather and commiserate!!! I must say, I was so refreshed to find Abe infinitely more agreeable and interesting than the bitter, mouthy, nihilistic, sexist fiend who "greeted," our Man Manx, on his last visit! Charlie is as snarky and charming as ever, and I swear Zachary Quinto grows more BEAUTIFUL, and alive with dark allure each new episode!!! So much intrigue in his and Abe's conversation, and I loved this new mystery of The Hour Glass..... So many new threads, I don't know which to pull first!!! Being in the dark can be such fun!!! I also thought that was so witty of Charlie when he said, "That's the spirit, Abe," with a sneaky smirk, as Abe said, "I wish you had died, Chuck." I liked him calling him Chuck, I thought that was cute, and I really ache to know more about their bizarre friendship, and this apparent debt Abe owes Charlie!!!

My absolute favourite scene was the Knife Fight in the Parnassus Parking Lot, and it was there I realized what had been so obviously lacking in the first two episodes. Charlie and Vic...... Full strength and face to face. That seething hatred, that electric chemistry, the fire and frost, the reveling rivalry. The dark flirtation as Charlie tells Vic he's the best thing that ever happened to her. To her son. GOD, it was ambrosia for the soul!!! Speaking of souls, I loved Charlie's coyness, haughtily asking Vic what darkness had seeped into her soul, and then telling her exactly why she was able to access The Night Road. He took such pleasure in it, scolding her about children born out of wedlock, and drunk whore mothers, flinging her down to his level, maybe even putting his own moral compass slightly above hers. The responsible father, and the screw-up teen mother. Their banter was phenomenal, and smouldering, I couldn't get enough, Vic telling Charlie she'd sacrifice her life to stop him, and Charlie simpering sadistic, saying he'd gladly take it from her, for the sake of everyone she loved so they wouldn't have to hurt anymore. WOW. I was like this is it, THIS is the NOS4A2 that I fell in LOVE with!!!! Yes, I was a bit glum that the fantastic tease, didn't lead into an all out skirmish, and bar brawl, but patience Pets, the season's only just begun, and I appreciated them leaving us with wanting more.

Charlie's coaxing encounter with Wayne was absolutely adorable!!! I grinned the entire time, ridiculously blissful, and I loved how touched and surprised Charlie was when young Master Wayne asked if he was feeling better!!! Sweet Baby!!! Aaaaaah and how CUTE was that when Charlie wagged his finger in gentle reprimand, reminding Wayne it was bad manners to abscond without saying a proper goodbye!? My heart twittered warily when Wayne took the candy cane, and I saw all the presents, and a brand new basketball inside the Wraith, but something told me it was not going to be that easy, after all Wayne is his mother's son. My suspicions proved true, as Charlie was thwarted even by the Littlest McQueen, failing to have said a rather important password. I giggled, adoringly, as Charlie tried to wave it off saying, "There are no passwords in Christmasland," but our sharp little lad, was much too clever for that, and took off running!!! I LOVE WAYNE, I LOVE this darling, beautiful little boy, and his precious curls, and deep, inquisitive eyes. Charlie having two quick McQueens to foil his dastardly plots is just too much fun!!!

Much less fun however, was the knock down, drag out, fight to the near death between Lou Carmody, who has to be the COOLEST, nicest, most congenial guy in the WORLD, and that BASTARD Bing Partridge!!!! I don't think I took a breath the entire time, and I was like I SWEAR Bing, if you FREAKING hurt Lou, you will incur my WRATH, you CREEPSTER Son of a BITCH!!! I absolutely LOVED the hidden message he left for Vic, Lou earning serious fanboy cred with the AWESOME Obi-Won reference, and I take it back, what I said about him being Vic's sidekick, because that teddy bear of a man was a BADASS Hero tonight, beating the hell out of Bing, and single-handedly saving his son from Manx's clutches!!!!

I also felt redemption was in order for Vic's parents, as shockingly they're doing better than Vic herself!!! Chris is sober even, finding solace from his demons in the woods, and the heartbreak on his face when he finds Vic's stash of minibar bottles in her pockets, is profound. He blames himself. His little girl inherited her Old Man's coping mechanisms, and nothing terrifies him more. I loved that he kept her sketchbook too, as a way to keep her close. Linda though, WOW what a change, Linda is a new woman!!! Gone, is that pale, schizophrenic shell of a battered wife. She's got a new hairstyle and a confident, secure attitude to match. It was such a nice shock to see her thriving, in a new relationship, full of good advice for Vic, and I think she's ready to heal, both from the pain she endured, and the pain she's caused. You go, Linda!!!

Speaking of Mothers........ Hold onto your Santa hats, Kids, because Mrs. Manx LIVES!!!! Millie's shocking discovery that her mauled mother, or at least a glazed-eyed apparition of her, still haunts her old house in Christmasland, stole the air from my lungs!!! WHAT has Charlie been up to beyond the borders of his merry inscape!? Crafting Sleigh House from memory, along with raising his own murdered wife!? My GOD, this episode came to WIN, going hard, even until the end!!! I have a theory that Cassie Manx has everything to do with why Charles has requested an introduction with the infamous Hour Glass Man, whom I suspect can alter time. I think Charlie wants to reunite the family Manx, bring back his wife, which in itself is a dizzying revelation, because I thought he ached to be rid of her long before that first AWFUL trip to Christmasland. I'm excited to see if I'm right, wondering at where they're going with this, and how Cassie will come back into the story. Could she love our Charlie again even after the atrocities he loosed upon her? I think maybe so....... I would. To love Charlie Manx once, is to LOVE him forever.

The Night Road is NOS4A2 at its coming-out-swinging best, and I feel like, after a few rocky patches and speed bumps from the previous scattered episodes, Season 2 is back on track and set to be BETTER than anything we've EVER seen before!!! My BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER, and I'm so happy I took the Night Road Home, back to the unique and enthralling, spine-tingling fun storytelling that I LOVE!!!! Thank you Charlie, tonight was the PERFECT date I've been WAITING for!!!! Same time, next week, Handsome?

[dreamingxo]

nct dream as christmas songs !!

(just a p.s. before we start. I didn’t base these scenarios exactly on the songs lyrics, just scenarios that remind me of the songs)

𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤: 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬

8:34am -> canada 1:34am -> korea

“Baby, it’s one in the morning here, is there a problem? Is everything okay?” Mark yawned tiredly, still waking up from the early morning ring of his phone. You grinned from the screen as you admired you boyfriends bed head.

“Look.” You said quietly, but happily, as you flipped the camera around to face out your window. “Isn’t it beautiful.”

Mark’s eyes lit up at the sight of the beautiful crystals falling from the sky. The snow fell quickly to the ground and glimmered, just as he remembered. He missed it so much, he missed you so much. Seoul had gotten almost no snow, and the sight of it through your camera made him almost jealous. You started moving, mark watched as you took him with you down your stairs and out your front door into the cold.

“I miss you so much, I miss vancouver so much.” He sighed, as you turned the camera back to face you. Your cheeks and nose were now flushed red from the cold, and your hair covered in the beautiful snowflakes.

“But you’ll be here soon, right? Only a few more weeks and you’ll be home with me.” You said, your voice cracking as you started to miss your boyfriend more than ever before.

“Only a few more weeks, and we can enjoy the white christmas together.” Mark whispered softly, reminiscing back to the winters together in his childhood, that you were so vividly clear in.

“I love you Mark.”

“I love you too, now get inside silly. I don’t want you to freeze before I can even get home.”

𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧: 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝

6:54pm -> china

Renjun’s hands clasped yours as you walked together under the trees filled with lights. It was the perfect day for your yearly tradition. Every year since high school, you and renjun would go see the christmas lights, you would walk down the path and admire the beauty that the season brings. You would never trade the tradition for the world.

There was only one thing about this year that was different from others. All the years before, you and renjun would go out as best friends, nothing more, but this year felt strange because there was more. You had realized your feelings for him not long ago, confessing to him in the heat of the moment. Surprisingly, he felt the same. So now at this lovely time of the year, you got to spend it in his arms.

Snow started to fall, covering renjun’s dark hair and the ground in a beautiful sheet of white. You shook your head, laughing at the boy as he started trying to brush the fallen snow of his head.

“I told you should’ve brought a hat silly, if your mother was here she would’ve killed me for not taking proper care of you.” You laughed, remembering the small argument earlier in the evening. He gleamed down at you as you helped his remove the snow. Taking your hands from his head into his own, he wrapped his arms around you, placing his head on your shoulder.

“My mom loves you, you know she would never do that. And isn’t me not wearing a hat a good excuse to hold you? I’m cold you see.” Renjun teased, slowly bringing his soft lips to yours.

You had stopped in the most magnificent part of the journey, where the trees stood the most tall and magnificent, covering you like a protective shield.

“Although it is a winter wonderland out here, it sure is chilly. Why don’t we head home for some hot chocolate.” Renjun spoke, his hands holding your frozen cheeks.

“Maybe... only if there’s cuddles!” You whispered in his ear, as you ran away from him, his footsteps and laughter loud in your ears.

𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐨: 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞

3:27pm -> korea

You shakily grabbed Jeno’s hands as you stepped out onto the rink. He had somehow convinced you to go skating and after hours of nagging, you finally agreed. His hands clasped yours in a strong grip, making sure you wouldn’t fall, and his lips turned up into a silly grin as he watch you try to skate around the ice like Bambi. He pulled you with him slowly, making sure not to let go until you said so, and quickly your shoulders loosened, all tension and fear leaving.

“I think I’ve got it, I can do it.” You promised, slowly letting go of your safety mechanism, aka the hands of your boyfriend. Let’s just say you weren’t quite as confident as you thought, quickly loosing your balance and falling backwards.

Jeno wasn’t surprised one bit when you started to fall backwards. He was prepared at least, catching you softly in his arms and pulling you up to his chest. The giggles that had been threatening to escape him since you had stepped on the ice finally escaped.

“Hey, it’s not funny.” You pouted, looking up at your boyfriends smile that had risen to his eyes. His smile couldn’t help but wipe the pout off of yours.

A cold breeze blew through the rink, sending a shiver down your spin.

“Baby, I’m getting a little bit cold.” You said as you started to notice how cold you really were. Jeno quickly took his hands from your waist, smoothly tucking a piece of fallen hair behind your ear before grabbing your hands and leading you to the exit.

“Let’s go warm up.” He grinned before placing a delicate kiss on your lips and giving you a tight, warm hug.

𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐜𝐤: 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲

9:35pm -> korea

You were never one for parties, especially ones held by your parents. The annual (your last name) chrismas party, was always this big hurrah, hundreds of people, lavish decorations, and designer gowns filled the room. The only good part in your opinion was the food, it helped occupy you and even better it helped you escape being social.

As you stood in the corner of the room, a glass of champagne and one of those fancy hand held sandwiches in hand, you drowned in your sorrows. Your parents knew how much you hated the party but still forced you to go, dress up all fancy, and plaster on a smile. This year was the same but actually almost worse. The amount of people who asked if you had a boyfriend was getting tiring but I guess you were at that age, right? A voice knocked you out of your deep thoughts as your turned to meet eyes with a beautiful boy.

“You sure look to be having a grand time tonight.” He spoke sarcastically, scanning your frown and mouth stuffed with food.

You almost chocked, quickly swallowing your sandwich and straightening your dress.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” You said back, just as sarcastically as his original comment. He laughed at your lack of enthusiasm, and took your hand placing a light kiss to the top of it.

“My name is Lee Donghyuck, and you are, love?”

“I’m y/n.” You smiled at his gentlemanly act. “So why were you dragged to this crazy thing?”

“My parents didn’t really give me a choice, just kinda forced me into a suit and pushed me out the door, not even telling me where we were going.” He sighed, as he spoke with a sad humour in his voice.

“Ah I understand, I didn’t really have a choice either, it’s my parents party.” You also sighed, looking down at your glove covered hands. Donghyuck could see that you were not enjoying yourself, this definitely wasn’t your thing, yet he couldn’t help but admire your beauty. There was something so elegant and mysterious about you as your stood in the corner by yourself, he was entranced by you.

“Well I would love to brighten up your night if that’s okay with you, I wouldn’t mind some company either. Plus maybe I can help ward away all those people asking about a boyfriend.” He said, eyes shimmering in the dim room.

Your jaw dropped, you had just met this boy and he could practically read your mind.

“How did you know? I-“

“Let’s just say I’ve been dealing with the same thing.” He laughed pulling you with him towards the ballroom floor. Taking your hands in his he lead you in your first dance in what seemed like forever. You had only known the boy for ten minutes and he had already captured your heart.

“You’re my present for the night.” He whispered in your ear, causing a blush to spread on your cheeks. This boy was trouble but there was nothing you could do about it.

𝐣𝐚𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧: 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮

9:05am -> korea

Your eyes slowly flutter open as light shined through your bedroom window. Hands were wrapped around your waist and your chin lay on a soft shoulder. Hair tickled your face as your boyfriend started to move, slowly waking up from your movement. His eyes opened, meeting yours, his dark lashes slightly blocking his view. His arm reached from around your waist, gently pushing your hair from your eyes.

“I need to be able to see my beautiful baby.” He teased, now combing his hands through your slightly tangled morning hair. He started kissing you from your forehead down to your nose and finally landing on your lips, you easily taking in his slightly chapped ones.

“Merry Christmas Jae.” You whispered, placing your own kiss onto his shoulder. But as you kissed him, a thousand thoughts flooded your mind. It was Christmas! You had so much to do! You started to panic slightly, quickly sitting up and grabbing Jaemin’s hands.

“We should start getting up. It’s Christmas! There’s lots to do! We need to go visit my parents, then my sister, and oh! The bakery t-“ Jaemin laughed, kissing your lips once again to silence you.

“Let’s just wait a few more minutes.” He said, pulling you back, closer into his hold. Wrapping you in his embrace, he spoke.

“I could stay like this all day. You truly are the greatest gift I’ve ever been given.”

𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐞: 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰

2:56pm -> china

You screamed as chenle picked you up, throwing you into the pile of snow. One of the many piles that covered his backyard. You popped your head up, brushing the snow and your hair out of your eyes.

“HEY! What the heck you said you wouldn’t do that.” You whined, after chenle had just made the promise to not start your snow battle until you were both ready, set up with protection and everything.

Chenle was currently killing himself laughing not hearing a word you were saying. Then it hit him. Literally. The snow ball to the face had woken him up from his laughing fit, and turned his face into a terrifying look of competitiveness. You immediately regretted your decision, screaming before running away from him and just behind another large pile of snow.

Chenle slowly creeped up to the front of the pile, his tall stature helping him look up and over it, directly at you.

“Y/n, I’m gonna get you.” He said creepily, slowly approaching your now scrambling figure. And then he pounced! Up and over the snow he went, jumping right on you causing you two to roll together in the snow.

His attack didn’t last long as you both collapsed in fits of laughter. He took your cold hands in his, pulling you to him, leaving no gap. He kissed your forehead with his cold lips causing you to shiver at the touch. But you loved it, and you loved him.

“Why don’t we go warm up by the fireplace.” He suggested pulling you up from the snow and leading you back towards the house. You heart was filled with warmth. Well that was at least until he pushed you once again into one of the big piles of snow.

“I win.” He smirked.

𝐣𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠: 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬

7:34pm -> korea

Jisung was extremely concentrated, and to you, it was extremely adorable. His overly large hands worked to finish up icing his last snowman cookie. As he worked you snuck up behind him and he was so distracted that he didn’t even notice your presence.

“BOO!”

“AH!” Jisung screamed, suddenly flailing away from his cookies and crumbling to the floor with his hand on his chest.

“Y/nnnnnn, why would you do that? Look you made me mess up my cookie!” He pouted, pointing to the line of icing that now spread across the counter. You couldn’t help but burst out laughing, the cookie was hardly even messed up and he had two dozen other perfect ones. As you calmed yourself down, you walked and wrapped your hands around your boyfriends waist as he calmly tried to fix his cookie.

“I’m sorry Jisungie. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” You spoke with your most innocent tone possible. His hands grabbed yours that lay around his waist and turned himself around to face you, placing your arms around his neck.

“I’ll only forgive you if you give me a kiss.” He said, smirking.

“Fine.” You said, grinning up at your boyfriend before moving up to kiss him. His eyes closed and his lips puckered as you moved but he felt nothing. Opening his eyes he came face to face with you. You smirked at him before kissing his cheek and running away.

“HEY!”

[remywrites5]

I'm literally obsessed with your spideypools please do moreeee ily

           Peter just barely made it through the window before collapsing on Wade’s bed. He thought that crawling into Deadpool’s bed might not be the best idea considering how often Wade flirted with him. It felt a bit like leaving cookies on a plate for Santa. It was an invitation.

           He hoped his current predicament might dissuade Wade from any sexy thoughts. He should have known that hardly anything could dissuade Wade from sexy thoughts.

           “Petey, is it my birthday already?” Wade asked, leaning casually against the bedroom doorframe, clearing having come to see what the noise was. “I would have preferred you gift wrapped but I’ll make do.”

           Peter winced as he chuckled. “Fuck, Wade, don’t make me laugh,” he said, clutching his side.

           Wade immediately softened and hurried over. “Everything okay?” he asked, his dark eyes examining Peter’s body and not in the usual predatory way. “You hurt, Spidey?”

           Peter sighed and attempted to sit up. He didn’t quite make it and dropped back against the pillows. “Rhino did a number on my ribs,” he explained, pressing the button to release his suit so he could push it down and take stock of the damage. Definitely a few broken ribs but those would be healed by morning. That seemed to be the worst of it. Luckily there didn’t seem to be any bleeding, just a fair amount of bruises. “I couldn’t go home. If May saw me like this…

           “You don’t have to explain, Petey,” Wade said, sitting down on the bed next to Peter. “I told you there was an open door policy for you here. I meant it.”

           Peter glanced over at Wade and smiled softly. After Peter had told Wade his secret identity, Wade had offered up his apartment as a safe haven in return. It wasn’t like Wade had a secret identity to offer in return or even much in the way of secrets. He was notorious for spilling the beans – which was why Mr. Stark had warned Peter against letting Wade get too close – but for whatever reason Peter trusted him. And Wade had come through as far as Peter knew, keeping his secret.

           “Just let me crash here for a bit and then I’ll get out of your hair,” Peter said, letting his eyes drift shut.

           “I don’t have any hair for you to get out of.”

           Peter chuckled and then cringed when it felt like being stabbed in the side. “What did I say about making me laugh?”

           “I don’t know, I wasn’t listening,” Wade said honestly, dropping down next to Peter and turning his face towards him. “I was a bit distracted by having a half naked Spidey in my bed.”

           Peter rolled his eyes. “No funny business, Mr. Wilson.”

           “Of course not,” Wade said, making a face. “This is a full consent household.”

           Peter tugged at Wade’s hoodie until he got the message and moved closer. “I guess a little cuddle wouldn’t be so bad.”

           “You sure, baby boy?” Wade asked, chewing on his bottom lip. “If I hurt you I’d saw my arm off James Franco style.”

           “Don’t be dramatic, Wade,” Peter said, burying his face in Wade’s neck and sighing softly.

           “I don’t know how,” Wade teased, holding Peter gently like he was something small and frail instead of a guy who could catch a car in midair. Still, he had to admit it was kind of nice. It didn’t take long for his breathing to even out and drift off to sleep.

                                                           ***

           The next time Peter dropped in on Wade unexpectedly, Wade wasn’t home. Disappointed, Peter crawled into his bed and hugged Wade’s pillow. It took him forever to fall asleep and when he did it wasn’t very restful. He’d kick the covers off one moment only to be freezing the next. It felt like no matter how he positioned himself he just couldn’t get comfortable. At four in the morning he managed to close his eyes for more than a couple of minutes.

           A few hours later, Peter felt the bed dip beside him and Wade’s unmistakable large frame caged Peter’s in a hug. “This is a nice surprise,” Wade murmured, pulling Peter back flush against him so they were spooning. “If I’d known you were coming I would have gotten back from Guatemala sooner.”

           Peter didn’t answer because the moment Wade held him he finally succumbed to sleep.

                                                           ***

           The third time Peter visited Wade he wasn’t injured or anything. He was just bored and kind of missing Wade. He knew a lot of it was an act but Wade made everything seem so easy. You never had to worry about keeping a conversation going with Deadpool even if sometimes all you wanted was for him to shut up. Still, Peter considered himself one of the few people that could keep up with Wade. The only part Peter didn’t like was Wade’s propensity for making him blush.

           “Baby boy you stay on my mind and baby boy you are so damn fine!” Wade sang in front of the microwave as he heated up some burritos.

           Peter dropped down from the ceiling right in front of Wade, making Wade squeak in surprise. “That song about me?” Peter asked with a knowing grin.

           “Damn baby, it’s not just anyone who can get the drop on me,” Wade said, clutching his heart. “And of course the song is about you. Who else?”

           Peter grabbed the strings of Wade’s hoodie and began playing with them nervously. “You sing about me when I’m not even around?”

           “I sing about you all the time, Petey,” Wade said, crowding into Peter’s space. “I’ll see you in my dreams.” He continued to sing before laughing.

           “Wade, do you want to hang out Friday night?” Peter asked, saying the words all in one go in an effort to get them out before he could stop himself.

           Wade pointed to himself. “You wanna hang out with me?” he asked incredulously.

           Peter chuckled. “Yeah, I mean we have been.”

           Wade looked for a moment like he was going to reach out and touch Peter but instead he shoved his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “You know you have a standing invitation, right, baby boy? I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t drop if you asked me to. I’d drop my own grandma off a forty story building.”

           Peter ducked his head down to hide the damn blush that refused to stop crawling its way up from his neck. “No need to kill your granny.”

           Wade shrugged. “I was more thinking of Wolverine in a nightie. Play a little Red Riding Hood. He’d get over it fast.”

           Peter laughed at the mental image in his head. “You’re ridiculous,” he said fondly.

           “I know.”

                                                                       ***

           Peter doesn’t want to say he obsessed over his appearance for their date – not a date – Frday. He doesn’t want to say it but he totally does. He spends more time in the mirror than he has in his entire life, circling through his wardrobe looking for anything decent to wear. Somehow he either looks too formal or too casual with no in between. If he dressed up would it be obvious he was thinking of this as a date – but it’s not a date – don’t be stupid Parker.

           Somehow he ends up in a button down shirt with his hoodie zipped up over it and his nicest pair of jeans. Life would be much easier if he could just wear his damn Spidey suit.

           He combed his hair about twenty times, not able to get it to fall just the way he wants it to. He then put a beanie on, only to immediately take it off. By the time he said goodbye to May and hurried out the door, he was sweating.

           When he got to Wade’s door he was so nervous he felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin. He could barely raise his arm up to knock on the door. “Petey!” Wade said excitedly as he opened the door. “We going out of staying in?”

           Peter’s face paled. He hadn’t actually thought ahead that far. His main priority had been getting Wade to agree to this and getting here in one piece. He didn’t know he had to do all that and figure out something for them to do together.

           “Whatever you want to do,” Peter said, trying to keep his voice as even as possible. It ends up cracking anyway and Peter cringed.

           Wade studied him for a moment. “Peter…” he said slowly as if coming to some kind of conclusion.

           Peter felt himself tense up as Wade used his real name. Wade never called him Peter. Petey, Spidey, baby boy, sweet cheeks, dat ass and sweetums, sure. But never Peter. Peter’s brow broke out into sweat as he waited.

           “Is this a date?” Wade asked, his face breaking out into a huge grin. “Are you trying to date me?”

           Peter shuffled his feet. “Why is that so funny?” he asked defensively. “We’ve been spending time together and I like you. It’s only logical – “

           Wade grabbed Peter and yanked him forward before kicking the door shut. “You didn’t really think there was a chance I was going to say no to you, did you?” Wade teased, gently sliding his fingers through Peter’s hair.

           “There’s always a chance,” Peter said softly, pressing into Wade’s touch.

           “I thought you were supposed to be some kind of genius or something.”

           Peter would have minded the insult but Wade chose that moment to press his lips against Peter’s. As Peter melted against Wade he found he didn’t mind much of anything. The city could have been on fire behind them and Peter wouldn’t even go to help. Okay, fine, he would help but he’d be extremely annoyed by it.

[elucere]

sad late august quarantine thoughts

When quarantine first started, I really thought this would be easy for me. And in some way, I was right. This has been easier for me than the average person and, arguably, much better than the first half of my year. I graduated in December and didn’t land a single job after pretty aggressively applying during my last semester. So during the months of January and February, I was completely broke and moved in with my family. I didn’t have any money or means to do anything but sit at home all day and wallow.

Being a student was such a core part of who I was and to suddenly lose that and have nothing to fall back on really did a number on me. Not only that, but the self-hatred was killing me. Not being able to snag a job was entirely my own fault- I just wasn’t good enough. The weight of failure followed me everywhere and I felt so completely defeated all the time. I was trying my best to stay busy one way or another but it felt impossible to find the energy to do anything. I filled my time by watching 12 seasons of Criminal Minds or cramming 30 DCOMs within one week. And when I wasn’t doing something stupid, I was crying. I found a job right before quarantine started and every single day I’m thankful. It was truly no less than divine intervention and it truly made the difference with quarantine. 

More than anything, though, what helped with quarantine is the fact that I’m used to being alone. My junior and senior year of college, especially, I didn’t really make friendships with the people I dormed with and none of those previous residential relationships followed me. At this point, I was eating every single meal alone. When I was upset, the only relationships I had to fall back on were ones I cultivated online. I already had a less than traditional college experience. The only parties I went to were my club’s socials and beyond the people I met there, I had nothing. Even then, if I was in large groups of people I would just completely shut down or not go. At first, being alone 90% of the time was very depressing. I cried a lot. But then, I got used to it. 

Which, when you think about it at first, isn’t that bad. The moments you have with yourself are just comfortable, neither really good or bad. And people say to live in the moment, yaknow? But moments only last so long. We don’t spend most of our time doing exciting things or going to exciting places. Like, hell, I work a 40 hour work week, do you think I’m trying to live in the moment? No, we spend most of our time reflecting and looking forward. Live in the moment is only a sentiment that’s worth so much. I remember going to Disneyland 4 years ago and when I was riding Big Thunder Mountain, I remember thinking to myself, “You’re in Disneyland this is your favorite place and you’ve been looking forward to this trip forever. Enjoy this moment.” And honestly, I would’ve probably enjoyed that moment just as much even if I didn’t have that moment of reflection. That temporary gratitude is only worth so much. But the memory of that trip is still able to give me happiness. Life is a collection of moments and you get to pick what stays with you. Living for and in the current moment is exhausting and not everyone can find enough joy in the little things to fufil them.

Getting used to your own company isn’t inherently a bad thing, but I think I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I would decline large outings, minimize my attempts at making friends, spend at least a year not talking to people in a group before I felt comfortable because I was so wrapped up in my insecurities. That’s what it all boils down to, I suppose, at least for me. Because when I’m out with other people, I’m happy for a few hours, and then I come home and it’s just straight crippling self-hatred. “Was I funny enough? Was I annoying? Did they like talking to me? I should ask if they enjoyed themselves? They won’t answer honestly even if they did. How would I know, then? Would they not invite me out again? And if they don’t, that just sucks. If they told me what was bothering them, I could fix it but now they aren’t giving me the chance.” And it goes on and on and on until I’ve convinced myself I’m the worst. And then eventually, the person does drop me because I basically projected all that insecurity onto the relationship and made those worries true. And then because I’m worried about doing that to someone else, I end up internalizing all my worries and it just gets worse and worse to the point where I have to go to the bathroom and cry during outings because I already feel like I’ve let everyone down. At this point, when a friendship begins to drift, I’ve already cut that person off in my mind because I’ve convinced myself that this was just an inevitability of the friendship, that I was never good enough for them and they were just talking to me until they found something better. Being alone may have denied me happy moments with others, but it also prevented me from creating painful memories.

This is where social media has kind of crippled my ability to form relationships with people too. Because I don’t want to reach out to a close friend and share this, no that’d scare them off. So let me post about my deepest fears and pain to like 100+ people on my finsta. That’s healthy and normal. Let me complain on my 300+ follower twitter account. And then I develop an unhealthy relationship with those sites when I don’t get the response I’m expecting. Posting online is like having friends without gambling individual heartbreak. When I put effort into a tweet or a project and it doesn’t get acknowledged, I feel it reflecting badly on me. It’s only a matter of time before I get caught up on how I come off online too and suddenly, it’s hard for me to post. I don’t know what to say. I’m not getting engagement, everyone must hate me. I don’t feel close to anyone. Everyone else has such close friend groups and it’s so hard for me to find that for myself, so what’s the point? So I get overwhelmed and leave for a while, but it’s a cycle like anything else in life.

Being so wrapped up in people’s hypothetical perceptions of you sucks so much. In April, I started writing for DiscussingFilm. Film criticism wasn’t really something I imagined myself doing and quite honestly I’m not sure how I ended up there. I’m grateful for the opportunity and everything it’s given me, but it also gives me something more to be insecure about. I’m a chronic overwriter. My stuff is way too long for no reason. That may just be my style, but when I read other people’s reviews, I burn with jealousy. They’re able to condense their thoughts so succinctly and clearly. We have the same words at our disposal, the same complexities of the human language, and yet how I express a thought is so much more awkward and jumbled. I hate it. And I sit at home, stressing to high heaven over some 1.2k word review just sick with worry about how others will perceive it. What they’ll think of it. If they’ll be disappointed. I can’t imagine a bigger heartbreak than the thought of someone opening my work, reading it, and thinking that it was a waste of their time. And that has most definitely happened somewhere in the world and I feel just so powerless to stop it.

That goes beyond insecurity though and speaks more to the feelings of powerlessness. This standard that you’ve set for yourself and if you can’t reach it, you feel awful. Not everything is in our control, but we have to assign a certain level of personal responsibility to it or else the chaos is overwhelming. It’s a fine line to walk, and honestly, I don’t know how to do it. How much of someone else enjoying my work within my control? Or getting hired? Or other people’s perception of me? If they think I’m funny or annoying? Probably less than I’d like to admit, but definitely a lot less than I’m comfortable with. Because even when I’m insecure, I’m still living in a logical reality where my actions have nearly complete control of other people’s perceptions of me and I could easily change them. But it’s not that simple and I don’t think it ever will be, really. So what am I supposed to do about it? Just stop stressing?

One of my favorite musicals is Newsies. The protagonist, Jack Kelly, is obsessed with leaving New York and going to Santa Fe and just becoming a cowboy. He feels trapped by the city and Santa Fe is his idealization of freedom. There’s a moment where he’s talking to his friend and she asks him if he’s going there or if he’s running away. Because, you see, if you’re going there and it’s not the right place you can go somewhere else. But if you’re running away nowhere will ever be the right place.

So when I was in high school, I idolized the concept of going away to college. I thought that if that happened, I would finally have the space to be myself and finally be happy. So when I had a really bad college experience, I realized college was my Santa Fe and I was running away. I had brought all of my baggage with me and my insecurities and my emotional turmoil and nowhere will ever be the right place for me until I work through those things. At first, I thought my problem was the people, so I cut them out. But now, I know that’s wrong.

Quarantine has given me a lot of time to self reflect. Who am I? What do I like? But more than that, it’s revealed to me how incredibly lonely I’ve kept myself. And I’ve always felt this way and somehow each year I manage to push myself more and more away from others. Newsies ends with Jack deciding to stay in New York because he realized he didn’t really want to leave, he wanted a reason to stay. He wanted to feel loved and valued, which is what we all do. To try and trick myself that the best way to protect myself is to shut myself off was stupid. Dumb. There are at least 35 DCOMs that come to this conclusion and I shouldn’t be having this conversation at 22.

I think what did it for me was the realization that I would be in the same place with or without COVID. It’s one thing to say that you’re sad because of all the things you can’t do, but the realization that you wouldn’t be doing those things regardless hurts a little more. It’s being accutely aware of how much you’ve taken for granted. The fact that I’m feeling just as fine now, amidst a global pandemic, as I have my entire life just speaks to how awful the mental prison is where I’ve trapped myself. Just because it’s always been this way doesn’t mean that it’s the best way for me. I deserve to do better for myself, but why won’t I let myself have it?

Normally, I’d internalize this. But that doesn’t really push me to change. Sometimes, all you need is for other people to recognize how you feel so you don’t really feel as alone. I don’t really expect people to read all of this. There’s so much happening in the world that we feel powerless to fix. I try so hard to do my part but it’s just exhausting. So many injustices are than the problems of one person feels so trivial. But I’d like to imagine that the struggles of trying to find yourself, especially right now when we’re so disconnected from another, is universal. This is one thing that we can fix. I am so sick and tired of being lonely and just hating myself so much. I want to be better, I want to feel better, and I want to figure this all out. But I’m not quite sure how. Vocalizing this all feels good and it feels productive, but at this point I just don’t know how to talk to people. But I’ll try and I guess that’s all I can really do.

Quarantine and a global pandemic may be a box we’re forced in, but it doesn’t mean we have to put ourselves in a mental one. When quarantine is over, we are going to walk out of it as new people and now is the time to decide what commitnments we want to make and what actual changes we’re going to work towards during this time to make sure those wishes for ourselves become a reality. 

I love all of you so much. You have value and are appreciated in your life. People are so complicated and sometimes it’s hard to grasp that everyone else has lives that are just as complex and nuanced as your own. Everyone is struggling and everyone is succeeding simultaneously in this big, increasingly chaotic world. So give yourself some credit and know your worth. It’s hard to define who you are, especially when you don’t really have others to compare yourself to and better define the differences. But also, remember people aren’t just one thing. Just follow what you like, try new things, and look inward just as much as you look outward.

[rainythefox]

Nightfall (CH.11)

Synopsis: Pre-Resident Evil 1, slight-AU/Canon Divergence. Claire Redfield comes home to visit her  brother Chris for the holidays but gets caught up in a dangerous game of  cat and mouse with Albert Wesker, the Captain of STARS, after stumbling  upon dark secrets. She can’t call the law; Wesker is the law, and she  can’t tell Chris. She is trapped…Claire/Wesker & Slight  Chris/Jill. Rated M for eventual smut, language, violence, adult content.

AO3 Link

Chapter 11: The Silver Wolf

Claire paid the taxi driver and got out. She paused long enough on the curb to look around the busy streets of downtown Raccoon City. Traffic was heavy. It was rush hour time and everyone was heading home for the evening. Because of the short winter days, daylight was already succumbing to oncoming nightfall. It had been a bit warmer today with the sun showing itself, but Claire knew once it set, the temperature would drop to freezing fast. She bundled up in her parka and headed south down the sidewalk.

Crowded bodies filled the walkways, some walking south, others walking north or crossing the street when the light was red. She ignored the calls of the people around her, the sloshing of melting snow under tires, and the honking horns of rolling traffic. Carolers sang nearby and a Santa Claus rang a bell outside a store for donations. Most of this went right over Claire, her mind a maelstrom of thoughts and worries. She wondered what she would have to do next.

The younger Redfield had left a note for her brother claiming she had left to go babysit and would be home later this evening and would call if she had any problems. She only hoped that she would actually be able to return home tonight and that the blackmailing STARS Captain didn’t plan on keeping her longer than intended…or getting her killed.

Claire turned off from the sidewalk and entered a parking lot for a strip mall. She didn’t pay much attention to the stores. One was a clothing outlet and another was a bakery. The college student crossed the parking lot, heading for the row of bare landscaping trees in the center. About halfway there, the low rumbling of a car creeped up behind her. She tensed and quickly recognized the glossy, sleek luxury car. She halted, glaring at the tinted windows. Oh, how she didn’t want to do this…

With one last look around her surroundings, Claire opened the passenger door and entered the car. Inside, she was greeted with warmth from the heater, and the smell of leather and faint cologne. Clenching her jaw, she looked to the driver’s seat and unsurprisingly was greeted with a familiar leer.

“Miss Redfield, it’s dangerous to get into a stranger’s vehicle.” Wesker was still dressed in his STARS uniform and must’ve just got off from his shift. Chris would’ve just ended his as well.

Her glare didn’t falter. “Tell me about it.”

“Well, it’s good to know that you can follow directions. And punctual.

That irked her. “So?”

He wasn’t fazed by her tone, merely more amused. “Good work on the note, dear heart. And the splendid cover story of babysitting for William. You’re a clever one indeed. A woman after my own heart.”

“What heart?” she growled.

His dark smirk only grew.

She didn’t want to know how he knew the specifics. It didn’t matter anyway. It just confirmed that she was indeed trapped in his web, forever under his control. At least until a window of opportunity presented itself to her. She hadn’t given up yet. Redfields don’t quit…

“Whatever. Let’s just get this over with. What are you making me do this time?”

A familiar chime rang out. Wesker, still parked in the lot, pulled out his pager, a smirk growing on his face. “You’ll see, my dear.”

She couldn’t believe she was doing this. Actually, yes, she could. After a long, boring phone call from Colonel Sergei asking for a status report on her “investigation”, Ada was summoned to NEST by Wesker. She didn’t mind dealing with him or William, they were both fun and interesting in their own ways, especially together. It was Annette that she didn’t want to get involved with. The woman had it out for Ada and put a damper on her mood any chance she got.

As soon as she made it to the visitor’s entrance to NEST, the agent was frisked down by security and forced to go through not only a decontamination spray but a programmed security scan by a computer. Needless to say, some of her gadgets were taken away. Miffed, Ada griped at security personnel as she waited for Annette to arrive and escort her. Why couldn’t it have been William? He’s a lot more fun…

“Hey! That isn’t a toy,” Ada snapped, watching a guard play with her lipstick. “You want your head blown off? Jesus.”

“With all these weapons, how are we to know you aren’t planning to assassinate Dr. Birkin?” another guard asked.

“Oh, totally. I was summoned here by Albert and that would be such a genius move on my part.” Her biting sarcasm was one of her more underrated virtues...sarcasm was a virtue, right? At least in her book. Better than having none, too.

“We’re just doing what we were instructed to do, Miss Wong,” the female greeter said with a nervous smile. “We’re sorry for the inconvenience.”

“You cannot always expect to get a red carpet arrival, Miss Wong.”

That voice. There she was. The wicked witch. Ada smiled sweetly and turned around to face the Queen of NEST.

Annette smirked sourly. “Waving around your passes from Lord Spencer and Colonel Sergei? They have no power here. This is my husband’s domain.”

“Annette, so good to see you again. Could you please take me to William? Kinda have to. Albert’s…insistence.”

Annette slowly nodded, her eyes flicking over to the security guards who had Ada’s confiscated items. “She is to get all of her supplies back when she departs. Handle them with the utmost care, she is a guest. We do have one other guest coming that will need to be searched, and he has a signed note of what needs to stay on him. Page me when he arrives.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Annette motioned to Ada after getting a visitor’s ID wristband for her. “Follow me.”

“Yay...”

The two women traversed NEST using their ID wristbands. Ada immediately noticed they were not going anywhere near William’s laboratory. They bypassed the underground facility and went into the sewers, using catwalks and following marked paths.

“Gonna take me out with the trash?” Ada quipped.

“Maybe one of these days.”

“What’s your problem with me anyway?”

Annette side-glanced her with a frown. “You’re a mole. I don’t trust you. I don’t care what Albert says.”

“Aw c’mon, Annie. Live a little.”

“Don’t call me that.”

They took a concrete tunnel that had multiple turns and doors, and Annette brought them to a red door. Ada hadn’t seen any other people, but knew they weren’t that far from NEST or the waste treatment plant.

The female Dr. Birkin rapped on the door. “Will, honey, it’s me.”

The door gave a hollow click, unlocked, and then opened. The King of NEST allowed them entry and closed and locked the door behind them. The room was a conference room of some kind. A long table surrounded with chairs took up most of it. An unused projector hung above, with one wall draped with a white screen. The table was clean except for a cup of coffee, a closed briefcase, a laptop, and a file with its contents of papers spread out by one chair. There were a few video feeds on one wall showing hallways and tunnels to and from NEST and the waste treatment facility. Attached to the conference room through a doorway was another room sporting a kitchen and vending machines.

“Ada, what a pleasant surprise,” William greeted sweetly, but soon noticed the glare from his wife and cleared his throat. “Please sit. Coffee?”

“I’m fine, thanks. I’ll just get my instructions and be on my way. Albert said it was time sensitive.”

“Oh, right. Of course.”

“You sound funny, Will. You got a cold or something?”

“Yes,” William answered as he shifted through the briefcase on the table, “But I created an immune boost overnight and took it a few hours ago and feel much better!”

Ada smiled. What a nerd…an ingenious, ruthless nerd…but still…

“Ahh, here we are,” William stated, pulling an envelope and handing it to the agent. “Have fun with that…”

“Thanks, hun,” she replied with a purr, deliberately smiling flirtatiously and ignoring Annette’s lightning eyes. “I’ll take my leave. Don’t worry, Annie. I know the way out. Ciao.”

William gawked as he waved her goodbye, but soon took notice of Annette’s lightning eyes now directed at him. “What?!”

Ada chuckled to herself as she swung the door shut behind her, leaving henpecked William defenseless with his wife.

William flipped through his notes, backtracking and confirming the results displayed on his laptop. He paused long enough to take a drink of his lukewarm coffee. He didn’t react to it, having been used to drinking coffee at all temperatures. His foot tapped restlessly as he worked. Annette should’ve been back by now, although William wasn’t sure if maybe he missed an important detail to her ranting earlier when he had tuned her out.

Ada this, Ada that, Albert this and that, blah blah blah. But there was something about Sherry’s Christmas present, fruit cake, a meeting with John at the Spencer estate, and…? Hmm, surely it wasn’t anything important.

The Umbrella Chief of Research paused long enough to actually think about it. He was in the private briefing room of the neighboring waste facility next door from NEST, waiting for Albert and Claire. Ada had been gone a couple of hours already with her assignment. So then what was taking his wife so long from going over the Plant 43 report?

Wait…didn’t she say something about another person showing up here to meet with Albert?

That’s what it was! But who was it? He really had picked the wrong time to zone out from Anne’s constant chatter.

Oh, look at that! Subjects 132 and 109 were a close enough match that G was able to reproduce flawlessly! And at a 23 percent time increase over Subjects 76 and 55! My genetics research is never wrong!

William rapped away on his laptop keys ecstatically until a knock sounded at the door behind him. Oh, right. Annette. That had to be her.

“Will, honey? It’s me.”

Indeed it was, and it was the code that everything was safe. William scooted his chair back and rose. He went over to the door and unlocked it. When he opened it, he remained in the doorway to see who this “other person” was that was supposed to meet with Albert.

He took one look and laughed. “Are you shitting me? Go away.”

Despite his wife’s protest, William went to shut the door in their faces, but a boot came in the threshold and stopped the door dead. William tried to shove, but the mercenary easily pushed the door open, making the G-Virus creator slide with the door like he weighed nothing.

“Fine…I guess I’ll let you in,” Will growled.

“I see you haven’t changed, comrade.”

“Uh, that’s Doctor Birkin to you.”

Nikolai Zinoviev smirked and looked at Anne. “Your husband. He’s like little angry puppy around me always. All bark, no bite, yeah?”

Annette sighed, half-rolling her eyes. “Please, Mr. Zinoviev. Don’t get him started.”

William crossed his arms with a huff. “I don’t need to bite. I’ve got people to do that for me.”

The mercenary’s smirk didn’t falter, and William grew even more miffed. What in the world did Albert need this jerk for? They all knew he was best buds with Sergei. His code name was “Silver Wolf” if William recalled, and he was a sergeant in the Colonel’s Umbrella Biohazard Countermeasure Service. A joke regiment, as far as he was concerned.

“Oh, right. Like comrade Wesker? I’m curious what you would do without him around, Doctor Birkin.”

“Brains always beats brawn, Nikky.”

The UBCS sergeant snatched William by the shirt and picked him up off the floor. “Well, it’s good thing I have both, no? And comrade Wesker, he has both, yeah? You, on other hand, just very big brain and mouth, and puny body.”

As they glared at each other, Annette pulled a pistol from her lab coat and tapped it on her thigh in plain sight of the two men. “Release my husband, Mr. Zinoviev.”

The Russian mercenary softly chuckled. “I am only having little fun. Everyone knows it is death wish to touch hair on his head.” He dropped William and patted him on the shoulder. “Ease up, Dr. Birkin. I am friend to you today.”

“Coffee, Mr. Zinoviev?” Annette asked when William and Nikolai sat down across from each other at the table.

“I accept your gracious offer. Thank you, Mrs. Birkin.”

“She’s also Dr. Birkin,” William said with a glare.

He looked away from the mercenary just long enough to page Wesker. He should have ended his shift at the RPD by now and would be picking up Claire.

“My apologies.”

Annette slipped into the other room to make their “guest’s” beverage. When she returned, she handed Nikolai his cup and sat down next to her husband. The silence that settled was stuffy and uncomfortable, but William and Nikolai only glared at each other.

Anne sighed. “Will, it’s not like you to be so quiet.”

“I don’t trust him.”

Nikolai’s lips slightly rose on one side, but he didn’t react much more than that. He looked the same since William saw him last. Still the short silver hair and steely dark gray eyes. He wasn’t dressed in his UBCS uniform though, just civilian clothes with a light jacket.

“He’s a friend of Albert’s, honey. All of his friends are shady assholes.”

“You’re definitely right about tha-hey!”

Annette smiled playfully his way before her pager beeped in her coat. She pulled it out and looked at the message. “There’s Li. He’s got a problem with the newest batch of MA-125 embryos. I’ll go handle it. Albert better get here soon. You and I have so much to catch up on.”

“He should be on his way, dear.”

His wife glared at the silent Russian mercenary. “Mr. Zinoviev, it would be in your best interest to listen to my husband and to keep yourself from antagonizing him. This is a warning.”

Nikolai looked to Annette as she rose from her seat, and the two kept each other’s gaze for a long, tense moment. The UBCS sergeant nodded with a polite smile. “Of course, Dr. Birkin. I’ll be on my best behavior. After all,” he turned his crafty eyes back to the Golgotha creator. “I wouldn’t want to piss off “big brother.”

Annette left the briefing room. William felt trapped and exposed at the same time. The silence ate at him once more. Nikolai looked around the room for a moment but soon his eyes landed back on William and stayed. The Chief of Research fidgeted in his seat, uneasy. He picked up his pencil and played with it, thinking.

I swear to God, Al, if you took a detour to stick your dick in the Redfield girl, I’m gonna kick your ass.

A long bout of silence longer, and William couldn’t take it anymore. He had to talk.

“So…I never asked before…How did you and Albert meet?”

Nikolai shrugged. “A few years ago, he and his sister arrived to Rockfort Island on business to deal with Ashford and his associates. An internal affair investigation led by the Umbrella Intelligence Division. At time, my rivalry with particular Umbrella Special Service agent, codenamed HUNK, had landed-

“HUNK? What kind of codename is that supposed to be?” Nikolai wasn’t amused about being interrupted and when he opened his mouth to continue, William just interrupted him again. “Is he really a hunk?”

The Russian mercenary sighed, agitated. “It had landed me in hot water to put mildly. It had nothing to do with them, but Wesker still pulled strings to lift charges and actually got me promoted afterward. So now we help each other from time to time.”

William wiggled his pencil in boredom to make it look like it was made of rubber. “Oh yeah? Well, I’ve known Albert since we were kids! We were both raised under James Marcus as his proteges.”

The UBCS sergeant rolled his eyes. “I know. Say…didn’t Dr. Marcus die under “mysterious” circumstances?” he grinned.

The G-Virus creator snorted. “No! He died under completely normal circumstances. Poor old bastard. He was like a dad to me.”

Watching him die at my feet was one of the best days of my life and I cannot wait for the same to happen with Spencer.

Nikolai chuckled. “Yeah, sure.”

“Y’know, what does that tell you about your friendship with ‘ol Serggy? He obviously left you hanging in your time of need in that wretched place. Al would never do that to me. Just saying…”

“Conflict of interests, comrade,” Nikolai stated evenly, slightly narrowing his eyes. “He wasn’t allowed to.” The UBCS sergeant soon relaxed, shrugging. “Besides, Sergei and I are close enough friends to understand that we can and will sell each other out if right opportunity presents itself. Especially on his end. Same with Wesker and myself. What fantasy are you living in that Wesker isn’t using you, comrade? You’re obviously using him…protection mostly, as I have feeling you’d be dead already otherwise. Your arrogance and ambitions stem directly from fact that you know “big brother” protects you. Otherwise, you are coward.” Nikolai leered his way. “Just saying…”

William bristled but visually only offered a half-smirk. “Of course we use each other. I didn’t say that we didn’t, Nikky. But unlike your loyalty to your old friend Sergei, ours cannot be bought. It’s more of a “I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine” sort of situation...without any actual scratching.”

Nikolai laughed hollowly. “Anything can be bought, Dr. Birkin. Anything. You of all people know that. You blackmail this city for your own agendas. You don’t look it, but I know you’ve killed just as many people as Wesker has…sold them out, back-stabbed them, or even used them in experiments. Quit kidding self. You and Wesker are no different. The right offer just hasn’t been made.”

Albert had once told him that Nikolai had the potential to become more of a threat than Sergei. And now he knew why. He saw things differently than the Colonel. And his mind worked like Al’s in more ways than one.

William glared at the UBCS sergeant hard, bitter. Nikolai kept his gaze with his own sharp eyes, a sneer lurking on his lips. William subconsciously clenched the pencil in his hand hard. But nothing could be said between the two men before the door to the briefing room swung open. William should have looked, in case it was danger, as Annette had obviously forgotten to lock it again, but he and Nikolai didn’t move. That is, until a distinct voice broke them from their fuming trance. The subtleties of the tone told him that his partner was slightly annoyed, but anyone else would have just heard the business-like resonance.

“Nikolai. You and me. Let’s talk.”

William smugly smirked and waved goodbye with his fingers as Nikolai rose from his chair. Unaffected by neither Wesker’s tone or William’s snide, the Russian mercenary snorted and left the table.

“Good talking, Nikky!”

“William.”

The Golgotha creator hunkered and innocently looked his best friend’s way. He didn’t miss the glare meant for him behind the shades, but he motioned to the beautiful girl at his side. “Look after Miss Redfield. I’ll be back shortly.”

“Sure, pal.”

When Nikolai stopped to look at Claire, grey eyes both quite interested and wary, William didn’t miss the curl in Albert’s lip as he stepped in between them, motioning to the door. Nikolai took the hint immediately and left the room without looking back. The look Wesker gave Claire before following him out may have looked harmless enough, but William knew what it really meant. He gave the Redfield girl a gentle smile, offering her a seat next to him. After all, she didn’t realize that Albert was never going to let her go.

She relaxed a little when it was just the two of them and sat down with him.

“Coffee, my dear?” he asked. William didn’t like most people and never had concern over their lives or feelings. There were only a select few he genuinely cared for in his busy life, the rest was only an act, if he even bothered with it at all. But he found himself growing fond of Claire more and more, though wasn’t sure whether it was over Claire herself or the fact that his partner was unhealthily obsessed with her.

With a surrendering sigh, her forehead connected with the table and it made him smile. Both, definitely both.

Claire ignored William’s whistling tune as he made her a cup of coffee in the side room. When she heard the ceramic mug hit the tabletop, she raised her face off the table to see the fresh brew steaming nearby. She quietly took it with a quick nod of thanks to the eccentric researcher.

As she quietly blew her lips over the rim, her eyes carefully examined the room she was in. It was a conference room of some kind way down here in the sewers near the big, creepy Umbrella facility. She noticed the variety of things William had by his chair: a briefcase, a closed laptop, and a closed file with some pages poking out messily.

She took a sip, her eyes finally hovering on the door. “Who was that silver-haired guy?”

William, antsy, shifted nearly constantly in his chair next to her. Wesker wasn’t kidding. The guy was a fiend of restlessness. “Huh?” She must have jerked him from his own thoughts. “Oh, Nikolai? He’s an asshole, don’t worry about him.”

“Do you know why Wesker brought me here?”

“Yes,” William answered, and patted the briefcase sitting on the table near him. “All in here. But I’ll let him go over it with you. I’m out as soon as he gets back.”

Claire grabbed his arm hard, instinctively putting pressure where Chris had taught her for self-defense. “Don’t leave me alone with him!”

“Ow! Retract the claws, sweetheart! You’ll be fine! He doesn’t bite…all the time.”

She glared his way and squeezed harder.

“Ow, I was just joking! Why are you redheads so mean to me?!”

Claire let him go with a huff. She fumed to herself while William rubbed his arm, pouting. Once she calmed down, she looked at him. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “I just…want out of this.”

William sighed. “No harm, no foul. And I understand. Unfortunately, that is between you and Al. I can’t help you with that. But he likes you enough…just do what he says and get it over with. Like I said before, he’s giving you a chance that he's never given anyone.”

Claire lowered her eyes to her hot coffee. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

They were both quiet for a long moment, and then William gently offered a change in subject. “My daughter adores you. She raved about you nonstop the other day.”

Claire smiled. “Sherry was a doll. It was a real treat meeting her.”

William grinned proudly. “She’s super smart, like her parents. And real self-sufficient.”

“She seemed lonely to me.”

William frowned. “Yeah…our lives are kinda hectic. Our work keeps us away most of the time. She has a hard time making friends, and well, Anne and I just never got around to giving her a sibling. And her godfather doesn’t have any children for her to play with. We tried pets, but that was a no-go. Dogs take too much work and Anne is allergic to cats. I got a baby alligator for her one time though.” William hesitated, thinking hard while tapping his chin. “What happened to that thing?”

“Do you and Annette not have other family? Parents, siblings? No cousins for Sherry to play with?”

The Umbrella researcher flinched, but he did so in a way that Claire barely caught it. “Nah. Anne’s parents and older sister don’t talk to her and don’t live here. Me? I was an orphan. Umbrella has programs that help orphans and foster children into new homes to put it simply. I was taken in by a man named James. Went to a private school. Even though I was a one-of-a-kind child prodigy, I…got bullied a lot. Was there for about a year until James took in Albert as well. We were in the same boat, so to speak…orphans with nowhere else to go.” Will half-smiled as he thought back to those memories, and Claire sensed sadness there. “Al wasn’t very friendly at first. I mean, he’s never really been friendly to anyone except me and that took quite some time. Poor kid had been through hell. I was his punching bag for a bit, but mostly he kept to himself. I tried everything to be his friend, but that just made things worse. We fought a lot. One day I accidentally destroyed a project of his. I tried to rebuild it with what I had on hand and...well...it didn’t turn out so great. So, I’m expecting the usual knuckle sandwich he likes to feed me when he shows up, but he doesn’t. He just...laughs. I actually made the little bastard laugh! After that, we were instant best friends, brothers. I never had to worry about bullies again. We raced through school and college, as we were both prodigies. But we also went through absolute hell together. Umbrella offered us positions in research and development of medicines. And the rest is history.”

Claire took in the story, moved in a way she never thought to expect. She had known from Sherry that Wesker was a researcher as well, but now she wanted to know what made him become Captain of the Special Tactics and Rescue Service, of all things. “So, if Wesker was a researcher like you, why isn’t he one now? Why become a cop?”

“He’s still a researcher part-time...among other things.” Will cleared his throat. “And let’s just say Al became a cop because he has a strong sense of justice and wishes to help people.”

“Help people?” Claire snorted loudly. “Yeah, right.”

“Trust me, if you start down that rabbit hole, you’ll wind up dead fast. Best to just let it go, cupcake.”

Point taken. She was sure Wesker’s motives in law enforcement weren’t for anything good. Claire decided to change the subject, wondering what else she could dig for. “So, what happened to James?”

William’s eyes fell down and away. “Oh…he, uh, passed away. ‘Bout a decade ago. Anne, Sherry, and Albert are the only family I’ve got.”

The college student could tell that he was deliberately keeping parts out, but didn’t press it. She took a drink of her coffee, studying him. “You said Wesker went through hell. What happened to him? And what about his sister? He told me he had one.”

“An older sister by one year. Albert didn’t find out about her until later. Eh, a complicated matter, really. As for what happened to him, it isn’t for me to say. But it wasn’t nice.”

Claire only grew more curious and found herself feeling a tiny bit sad over what could’ve possibly happened to Wesker and William both. Obviously, certain events throughout their lives had turned them into the people they were today. She wanted to know. More clues proving that Wesker wasn’t just some power-hungry psychopath. There was a reason he was the way he was and he did the things he did. Everything he did had a purpose. And all of his goals seemed to point to power and control.

Claire wondered if maybe something happened to Wesker out of his control when he was young that damaged him. Or maybe she was just giving him too much credit.

The younger Redfield let it go. “Well, it doesn’t matter. I’ll never feel sorry for him after what he’s done.”

William half-smirked. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel that way. Just saying what happened. I love Al like a brother, but he is a monster. A brotherly monster, so to speak! A monster created through circumstances out of his control and he never let it go. And, well, I’m no different. Albert’s always been treated as a weapon or a tool...what they created was something far worse that can never be ruled again. You know what they always say in those comics? Heroes aren’t born, they’re made. The same applies to villains. But the thing about good and evil and all the gray in between, Claire, is that it’s a matter of perspective.”

So, she was right after all. There was more to him than met the eye...

I am no longer the ruled...I am the ruler…

Claire was quiet, taking in the genius researcher’s philosophy. She really didn’t know what to say to it, but her chance was soon lost when she heard the room’s door open. The air immediately changed, and she didn’t even have to look to know that it was Wesker who had returned. She was surprised to see that his silver-haired companion was nowhere in sight. But where Claire had instantly glared his way as he slowly approached them, taking off his sunglasses, William instantly brightened with a lopsided grin.

“Did you have a nice chat with ‘ol Nikky? He sure is a grouch. No sense of humor at all!”

She would have relaxed from William’s usual boast of teasing and humor had Wesker not been eyeing her closely since entering the room. Without the shades, his stare was even more unnerving than usual - even though Claire couldn’t help but to admit that he did have captivating eyes.

The younger Redfield’s heart jumped to her throat the second he gave her a devious smile, but thankfully his eyes soon left her. She almost staggered and felt like collapsing when the pressure that she had felt from his scrutiny fell off her like a crushing weight. Her stomach felt funny from the sudden and unexpected adrenaline rush. Lightheaded, she stayed quiet while Wesker offered William his most sarcastic smirk.

“What’s wrong, Will? Don’t like sharing my attention?”

Will scoffed and waved his old friend off waggishly. “Me? Jealous? Hell no. I’m way more charming than he is. Funnier, too. And better looking, just for the record!”

The chuckle Wesker produced was gentler than usual. “Obviously, there is no competition.”

Wesker placed his hands on Claire’s shoulders. She flinched in her seat, shivering as his cool fingers kneaded her skin in an unmistakably possessive manner that was meant to intimidate her and assert his dominance over the situation - and her.

Fucking creep! Claire couldn’t help but curse him silently as she stiffened under his unexpected touch. But she soon noticed that her own body started betraying her beneath his massaging.

“Was our lovely assistant here any hassle for you?”

She braced, as though his fingers would turn into claws and tear into her, hands forming into fists in her lap as she stared hard at William. He tapped a pencil he was holding on the table, gaping at them for a moment, and Claire was sure he was indifferent to her internal suffering.

“Oh, no trouble at all. Pleasant company as always, Al. Without a punch to my attractive face, I might add.”

“Good.”

Claire glared at him, but the eccentric researcher suddenly sneaked a tiny smile and winked at her in an excessively conspiratorial manner. He grabbed the briefcase near him and slid it across the table to the seat on her other side without breaking eye contact with her. Wesker let her go and moved over to the briefcase and the younger Redfield just about collapsed in relief. She released a shaky breath she didn’t know she had been holding.

William stood up with an over-dramatic stretch. He picked up his closed laptop and folder and slipped them under his arm. “Well, I better get back to the lab. I’ve got cells from “you know what” to go over with faulty ribosome and polypeptide structures that need analysis.” He pushed in his chair and lazily saluted Claire. “Always a pleasure, Claire. Be good.”

He didn’t even have a chance to take one step towards the exit before Wesker grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him back. “Whaaaaat?” he groaned like an indignant teenager.

Wesker’s smirk was a malicious kind of playful. “Will, my dear friend, did you not hear? Claire is babysitting Sherry for you.”

William laughed. “Sherry hasn’t needed an actual babysitter in almost three years! I mean except for you, Uncle Alby!”

Wesker snickered and then suddenly punched Will in the gut hard enough to make him lurch and yelp, though he wheezed a laugh. “Fuck, ow!”

Claire jumped to her feet. “Jesus! Why the hell do you hurt him if he’s your friend?!”

William, grimacing, waved her off, still wheezing snickers. “S’all good. It’s how he shows affection.”

Once William got his breath back, he shoved Wesker away from him and straightened his lab coat. “So…I take it the babysitting thing is the cover-up with her brother? Clever!”

“You should pay her for it, Will. Make it look legitimate.”

William glared at Wesker. “You pay her! All I got is the grocery allowance! Besides, she’s your “project”. Not mine!”

Claire quickly grew annoyed. “I don’t want any blood money from anyone, let alone you two assholes.”

“Hey, my grocery allowance is not blood money. I keep that in an entirely different account, thank you very much.”

“All I want to do is finish this and get my freedom. Can we move on, please?” Claire groused.

“You heard the lady, Al,” William said with a shrug. “Get to it! I gotta get back to work.”

The eccentric researcher took his leave while rubbing the sore spot in his stomach. When the door shut and Claire was left alone with Wesker, the atmosphere seemed to electrify. She stared at the door, regretting having hurried William out the door. Wesker’s imposing presence silently seemed to push all the air out of the room as he walked around her backside, his hand skimming along her back. She desperately swallowed the effects it had on her, though she couldn’t stop the goosebumps from sprouting on her skin.

“Well, dearheart,” he murmured finally. “Time to get to work...we have much to discuss and plan. No time like the present...”

He wrapped his arm firmly around her shoulder then, pulling her closer than she was comfortable with. He turned her to the table, where the briefcase contents were now out on the table. One look and Claire had a really, really bad feeling…She was about to get in way over her head…