#they stress me tf out

[great-and-small]

Everyone meet ‘Slappy’ the wild sea lion that has gone viral on TikTok after begging tourists for peanut butter sandwiches 🤣

Watch Now: Beloved wild Sea Lion Slappy does her signature bark for a PB sandwich

Check out our list of the BEST memes about our favorite Instagram celebrity Slappy the seal

Wildlife authorities ruin internet’s fun by putting ban on feeding famous sea lion ‘Slappy’

- Top comment: Not me risking a class 2 wildlife felony to feed Slappy a peanut butter sandwich 😂☠️

Internet famous sea lion enjoys new meme craze “Outlaw Slappy” as her admirers continue to offer treats despite the ban from marine wildlife officials

Sad news out of Southern California today as the internet mourns beloved sea lion ‘Slappy’, who was put down by authorities after biting a child that was trying to feed her a sandwich.

[tl-trashtalk]

We're gonna end up in fucking pens at this rate

[paiohaktnmcakl]

it’s my birthday :)))))

birthdays in general stress me tf out

i cry every year on my birthday

(hopefully won’t today)

there’s just so much pressure and expectations

it feels like a popularity contest

i’m really trynna keep this birthday really simple

no party

not even having a special dinner

just me cooking for myself

and i LOVE to cook so honestly i’m pretty hype

i’ve also just been really sick lately so im worn out

physically, mentally, socially

so i’m excited to just have a night to myself

(if my fam sticks to their word and keeps tf out of the kitchen 🤞🏼)

i’ve been trying to be really mindful today and set good intentions for my 24th year

i feel like it’s gonna be a good one :)

[litwhorees]

do you know what it’s like to wake up, remember that your favorite team is playing, and audibly SIGH

[chamomiletealeaf]

Need John Price to sit me on his lap and hold my legs back by my thighs while he uses a vibrator on me. Burying his face in my neck telling me how good I’m doing while he looks down and watches.

Need him in full tactical gear too and me in only his shirt, panties pulled off to the side, and cute fuzzy socks while he makes me cum and squirt like 4 times.

That would solve all my problems, methinks.

[kristalijah]

HE'S CHECKING OUT GARY!!!! I REPEAT, HE'S CHECKING OUT GARY!!!!

[bamsara]

went a whole agonizing week of no coffee caffine just for my streak to be broken because a family member made regular coffee in the pot and told me it was decaff. it was in fact not decaff

(also i promise I'm working on stuff and chapters and art, im just super busy right now preparing for the con and dealing other life stuff lskdghlksdhgs. hold out for arts n stuff soon)

[levemetal]

We all know and love the AUs where either SY!SQQ or SJ!SQQ get dosed with truth serum and hilariously clear up a bunch of stuff, but consider:

Yue Qingyuan accidentally gets truth serum-ed, said truth serum removes all brain to mouth filters and makes him voice his thoughts a loud.

Not only would this probably lead to him reconciling with SJ and just speaking about the damn cave incident, but also be unbearably honest to everyone else.

I cannot imagine ANY of the peak lords would be able to look at him the same ever again, we all know this man is deeply unhinged and SJ-co-dependent deep to his soul.

Mu Qingfang would probably have to deal with the worst of it as he frantically tries to find some cure so that they don't have to collectively hide their sect leader and stop him from saying real unhinged stuff

[wolflyndraws]

Centaur dream cause why not idk

[tombstoneswerewaiting]

i beg to fucking differ

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

im so Normal. totally not shaking and crying rn

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

The first mission the Court send their newly minted Talon on is an assassination attempt on the ward of one Bruce Wayne… Dick Grayson.

Calvin— can’t kill Dick. He can’t.

He didn’t know it would be the boy he grew up in the circus with they want him to murder in cold blood. He didn’t know— didn’t recognize him until the knife was already at his throat.

But he remembers now. And he won’t do it. Never. Never.

He’ll run. Disappear. Dick doesn’t know who he is, it’s better that way, and if he’s lucky the Court will be too busy hunting him to care about the failed assassination.

Unfortunately for Calvin, Dick does remember; Recognizes the Talon.

And he’s not inclined to let his childhood best friend slip through his fingers again after years of believing him dead.

[beedeux]

Happy Bumbleby Big Bang everyone!! Allow me to present to you my piece to accompany the AMAZING story written by the AMAZING @gummy-the-ghost !! CHECK IT OUT NOW :DD https://archiveofourown.org/works/52122358/chapters/131829601 (Nobody's weak for punk rebel Yang and ballet prodigy Blake like I'M weak for punk rebel Yang and ballet prodigy Blake let me tell you)

[formula1baby]

Lap 1 of Monaco and there’s already so much chaos

- Contact between Carlos and Oscar leading to a puncture for Carlos (YELLOW)

- Nico bumping into Checo and Checo EXPLODING into a wall causing a RED FLAG. Everyone is fine. DNF’s for both HAAS drivers and Checo.

- Pierre and Estaban bumping into each other which sent Estaban FLYING

- Carlos was given back P3 after the RED FLAG

- Most importantly, someone has offered Daniel Ricciardo a banana.

The Monaco Curse™️ seems to be confused.

[facinaoris]

about to be unemployed and need help for rent lmao. please click the link below and share/donate/scroll past.

Help CC w/ Rent

ya'll are definetly tired of my ass asking for money and so am i.

la pobreza mata.

[h0nkshroom]

I just want you to know that anytime I see my followers fighting I started doing your signature sad and sopping wet "STOP!!!"

This was the only retrievable "sad and sopping wet 'STOP'" I could get and unfortunately.. yeah.....