#they've done more things right than they've done more so far (also my bar is so low after d&d)

[navree]

I know you’ve shared your thoughts on Aegon II before but if there’s anything you haven’t or still want to talk about, I’d love to hear it <3 

I just came around to enjoying his character but like others, what he did to Dyana and the child fighting ring makes me apprehensive and I have to check myself and make sure I’m not woobifying him. 

Like, what would you like to see from him during his reign and his relationships with his family now that he’s king. I hope they don’t hammer us with more wild awfulness, (and hopefully he doesn’t lash out at Alicent or Helaena who are going to witness a horrific act of cruelty), to show us how unworthy he is. We won’t know until we know but child fighting rings, really? Most of what I like about Aegon (fan meta aside) seem to be TGC’s own acting choices, apparently the “do you love me line” was improv, so there’s only so much he can do. Thanks!

I know that some people are really dooming about the upcoming seasons and the Greens but I will say, it's not just Team Green who's been part of the backlash to some of the more stupid stuff in Aegon's character, it's been general audiences AND TGC himself. Combining that with the fact that they know there's an audience for the Greens (they only gave Ewan eleven piddly minutes of screentime and he turned that into making him the fandom darling, they know there's a capacity for it, along with as many people appreciating Alicent as they did), I'd imagine that they're not gonna turn those people away with more cartoonish antics, especially the stupid fighting pits. Those especially I think were just there to kinda establish that Mysaria is a champion of the poor, due to her background as a slave (and also I don't remember if they ever specified what Aegon's involvement was in that tomfoolery was because I'll freely admit to skipping over that portion whenever I rewatch the ep).

It's important not to woobify Aegon because, as much as I say that those scenes seem to exist only for the sake of existing and not to really say anything about Aegon other than cartoonish nonsense, they did happen. And there's information to be gleaned from them, especially the Dyana scene, both for Aegon (he's a drunkard and a bit of a lech, as well as clearly inebriated when he attempts to consummate his marriage) and certainly for Alicent, to show why the smallfolk like her and what kind of woman and ruling queen she is and how her own experiences have shaped her and her interactions with other women. But I can choose to focus on the myriad other aspects of his character, and the insights his actor provides into him, and acknowledge that those scenes were poor writing choices I disagree with even if I still think they happened.

I'm unsure as to what I'd want to see from his reign, because his reign is well chronicled in F&B and is incredibly short, and his reign is largely filled with his wartime decisions. I'd like to see his relationship with his council, and with the smallfolk, especially after the coronation and the mythologizing that's gonna come from what happened with him and Alicent and Meleys on the dais, along with the fact that his mother and wife are well known for being adored by the smallfolk. I'd just like to see some of why people would be willing to go along with his reign, especially when compared to the book where they were far more unenthusiastic than they were in the show. I assume he'd have a better relationship with his family than we saw in season 1, especially with Alicent after she proved her love for him in such a big way, but I'd also like to see some good moments with Helaena and especially with his kids, not just to show why he'd be willing to spare Aegon the Younger and Gaemon Pale-hair with his apparent softness for children, but also to an add an extra gut punch in how good everything was going before it goes to shit. And I don't think he'll likely lash out at Alicent or Helaena for anything, since a) Blood and Cheese is gonna happen pretty soon in season 2 and b) there'd be no reason to. Aegon's gonna be nearly as destroyed as Helaena from what happened (and I don't think even he would start castigating his brokenminded wife for how she handled an atrocious situation while in fear for her life, and certainly not his mother who was attacked and then bound and gagged in order to prevent her from interfering at all), and even the source material specifies that he wasn't being cruel to Helaena, he just wasn't capable of providing comfort to her, both because she was just so mentally debilitated by what happened and also because of his own grief. I think if he lashes out at anyone, it'll be Aemond. Speaking of Aemond...

One thing I absolutely want to see is more of Aemond and Aegon. I've talked about them a bit as we've seen in season 1 in the aforementioned Aegon posts, but let's talk about season 2 and what I want. First things first, I want them to expand on the fact that, in the book, Aegon was the only one who wasn't upset with Aemond after Storm's End. I want to see him don his big brother hat and try, in his clumsy way, to attempt to comfort him, to point out that it's not so bad that he killed Luke, and hey he got the Baratheons over to their side so that's good. I want him to take Aemond at his word that it was an accident, to throw him that feast as an Aegon-style attempt to make him feel better. Because I want their relationship to be at its highest point we've seen in the narrative before it comes crashing down. Blood and Cheese is gonna be seen, in universe, as Aemond's fault, and I want that to really fuck with Aegon for a while. I definitely want the family to stand together in the immediate aftermath of it, like from the moment it happens until whatever funeral they hold with Jahaerys, and I'd really like to see Aemond try to be a comfort to his siblings (as I've written in fic, he should tell Aegon, he should be the one to do it) while dealing with his guilt in the process. But as Aegon, as F&B says, drinks and rages and drinks, I want him to start turning over in his mind the fact that it was Aemond's killing of Luke that prompted this horrible thing to happen to his wife, to his children, and I want him to blame Aemond, to his face. To call him kinslayer, to say that he holds him responsible, and I especially want one of those scenes where person A (Aegon) beats person B (Aemond) into the ground while person B refuses to fight back because they think they deserve it. Mayhaps a bit hokey (even tho this show did the stupid White Hart which is peak hokey) but if that beatdown ends with Aegon weeping like a child about the whole thing because he's really just grieving and needs an outlet, that'd be great too.

And crucially, I want Aegon's involvement at Rook's Rest to be a surprise. The source material is oddly explicit in the fact that, if it was only Meleys vs Vhagar, she'd have a chance, but it was adding in Sunfyre that ended up being her doom. So I want it to be primarily Aemond and Criston's plan, and Aemond's prepared to essentially have a kamikaze attack, taking Meleys and Rhaenys down even if it kills him, and maybe it gets close, and then suddenly, in swoops Aegon on Sunfyre. Unexpected but he's there, and he's saving Aemond from Rhaenys and Sunfyre is incurring grievous wounds in the process, before the final plunge happens that kills Rhaenys and injures Aegon. And then, after the attempts at highs after Storm's End and the deep lows of the Blood and Cheese aftermath and the slow attempt to build back up to something normal, when Aegon swoops in to save his little brother and finds himself incapacitated, that's when he names Aemond his Prince Regent. And that's when Aemond takes it, as seriously as he can, and why he refuses to call himself king in the meantime, because Aegon trusted him with this, after everything, and he won't let his family down ever again. @ HBO I don't have a minimum salary requirement if you're hiring, just saying.

The Aemond and Aegon stuff is my main wishcast for season 2, and I've written a Blood and Cheese fic that's my ideal interpretation for how the immediate aftermath can go (still want that beatdown tho, just later in the aftermath), and I'm hoping for everything else I'm proven either right or semi-right. Haven't touched on everything I could talk about with Aegon; there's some sex stuff I've alluded to in previous posts that I almost included here but this is already long and it's an incredibly niche reading of the character, but if y'all wanna hear it lemme know.

[chaifootsteps]

need the fandom to understand that 'character who is the soft one who cries is not equal to the character who is in the right'

it makes sense for a show that's primed it's audience to think abuse is just limited to obvious cruelty and insults (but only when the show says it counts, HB cared about Blitzo being a jerk to Moxxie for all of one conversation) but it's frustrating to see this show touted as 'sooo deep' when it could have done a lot more to show the different types of manipulation and abuse with the material it already has

like, a character that's soft and weepy and constantly rewrites reality to favor himself? that's A grade PSA material for how abusers don't always look like Stella or Crimson and make their targets feel like they're the ones who are crazy or in the wrong

Oh yeah, and for the contingent who says Stolas would be treated way more sympathetically if he was a woman - I kind of doubt it, personally. I think a character like Stolas if he was genderswapped would be judged far more harshly for what he does in the Stol/tz storyline, not less

like the audience would probably jump to 'he reminds me of my mom/girlfriend/other female friend who also uses crying and looking pathetic to get people to take her side despite treating me like dirt', 'this or that trait is such a narcissistic thing to do'.

the show already expects its audience to treat the female characters with way more scrutiny and suspicion after all, but I feel like people are more inclined to recognize the figure of the 'narcissistic woman who's only emotional reality is her own' or the image of 'mom who neglects kid for new beau' than they are when it's a male character

and that's not a bad thing, to be clear! it's good the fandom can recognize abusive behaviors in women, probably most often their mothers (though it is disturbing how little they can acknowledge the emotional landscape of the female characters - there's any number of reasons for Stella to feel disenchanted with her life and the fandom cares about none of them)

the problem is they can't extend that logic to Stolas. they can't see how Sad Owl Twink is distorting reality around his relationship with Blitzo and refusing to treat him like a person, or how he's a subpar dad to Via. it feels like the bar for male characters is being set way lower as long as there's a convenient excuse. and it seems part of the reason is more than just Stolas being male, since logically Blitzo wouldn't be getting it in the neck from Stolas fans so much

it seems like it's also because they seem him as soft and harmless that on top of the extra credit male characters get for doing nothing, they've decided he can do no harm. men already deserve a medal for being connected to their emotions, so if Stolas appears soft and sensitive it means he can't possible be abusive or neglectful at the same time. which is just not true

sorry if this is rambling, kinda thinking out loud

Thank you for sharing these thoughts aloud. It's absolutely true...Viv and her fandom seem to have it in their heads that abuse looks like screaming and insults, that sexual abuse looks like being held down (also that it doesn't count if you "get away,") and that is so, so unbelievably dangerous it genuinely chills the blood. It's going to get someone hurt.

[robotsandramblings]

interesting little thing i noticed:

Hunter & Wrecker don't have their knives with them going into Season 3.

and even more interesting? it's not because the Imperials took them away. it appears when they arrived on Ord Mantell, they left their knives behind somewhere - probably in Cid's parlour. (they could have left them on the Marauder, but that's so far away, why do that??)

and why do it at all?? it's such a weird and unusual thing for them to do. even on Pabu, after being there a few days/weeks, they still have all their weapons on them. so why'd they remove their knives at Cid's of all places??

i dunno the "in-story" reason, but from a writing perspective, my best guess: it's a plot device to force them / give them a good reason to return to Ord Mantell / Cid's and have a confrontation with her. guess we'll find out!!

(see below for photo proof of when we last see them and when they go missing, along with more in-depth discussion and theorizing.)

Exhibit A: Wrecker still has his knife right before Tech's fall. he could have lost it when the railcar crashed (we don't have a view of Wrecker's lower body until they're at Cid's and it's gone by then).

But, Hunter definitely still has his knife after the railcar crash.

Exhibit B: Wrecker's knife is missing as he sits at Cid's bar. Hunter no longer has his knife whilst waiting beside Omega's bed, and it's still missing when he confronts Hemlock.

So, they removed them when they arrived on Ord Mantell. where exactly they left them is a mystery. all in all, i just thought it's... interesting? kinda weird?? esp when they've never done it before?? and these days they trust Cid even less than before?? so i really do wonder what the explanation for this is going to be.

as to the "Why [don't they have their knives in S3]" and "Why write the story like that", i have a couple theories.

As i said above, most likely it's a plot device that forces them to return to Cid's, to retrieve their knives but also have a confrontation with Cid about what she did to them. (which could lead to her 'act of redemption' where she helps them out in some way, if that's the route they're taking her on. or straight up her death.)

(i do have my own doubts about my own theory lmao. like do they "need" the knives as an excuse to go after Cid?? not at all. but maybe they're wary of going to Ord Mantell specifically, because there's probably a bigger Imperial presence there now, but the knives "give them reason" to. idk.)

Another possible idea, though a long stretch, is that it will end up linking them to someone?? as in, Cid either displays or tries to sell the knives, and someone recognizes them - it would have to be someone like, i dunno, C O D Y !!! - and buys them and that's how said person discovers CF99 is alive. or maybe the buyer is a significant character and CF99 tracking down their knives connects them to this character in an important way?? lol yeah it sounds convoluted ngl

It's also possible the writers are purposefully "getting rid" of the knives because they don't want Hunter and Wrecker using them. (by that i mean, they don't want to keep putting H & W in situations where they can and should be using them against other people, but they're not, because "tHiS iS a KiD's ShOw" lmao.) (look back at Season 2, they hardly - if ever?? - used them, except against a droid here or there.)

(i hope i'm wrong, not just because i do want them to stab people lmao, but because it's entirely hypocritical. fucking Pong Krell BROKE A CLONE'S BACK OVER HIS KNEE LIKE A STICK. what the fuck is a no-blood-splatter stabbing motion compared to THAT!?!?!)

anyways, those are just my thoughts and ideas. i'd love to hear yours!

[mcclainwilla]

Writing Fight Scenes Part 7 - Basic Ground-fighting Terminology

So a lot of what you see in movies is (bedazzled, unrealistic) stand-up fighting/sparring that involves things like punches and kicks. But the reality is, most fights don't remain 'on their feet.' In this post, I'm going to talk about why most realistic fights go to the ground, the goals of ground-fighting, and some basic terminology

Before that, I should mention that I am going to be speaking from a grappling perspective. Grappling and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu are very similar martial arts, the main difference being the fact that bjj is usually performed while wearing a gi. I've always found this impractical, as many of the submissions (I'll explain this term in a minute) that rely on clothing are difficult to execute if a character's opponent is wearing civilian clothing

Importance of grappling

Above all else, a character who is good at fighting will know how to grapple because it is far easier to fall than it is to stand back up. A character loses their footing? Gets tackled/tripped? Catches a fist to the face? They're going to the ground. On the other hand, once a character is on the ground, their opponent might not be so kind as to allow them back to their feet. So, what do they do?

Goals of grappling

Returning to standing position

Like I just said, it's quite hard for a character to come back to their feet after they've hit the ground, but it can be done. A character would want to 1. Create space from their opponent, 2. Move quickly (to avoid giving their opponent the chance to stop them) and 3. Protect their head, especially if their opponent is still on their feet

Pummeling/TKO/Knockout

TKO, by the way, stands for 'technical knockout,' and describes an instance where an opponent is deemed unable to fight back even while conscious, usually due to an incessant beating. If two characters are grappling, one can maneuver into a favorable position (like sitting on the chest) and just beat the shit out of the other. This is great if you have a more brutish character because the most technical part is getting into a good position

Submission

These are a little trickier to describe, because there's a lot of them. The goal of a submission is to either force an opponent to submit (no shit, right?) or to forcibly stop a fight by knocking them unconscious/breaking something. The two main categories are chokes and breaks

Chokes:

Blood chokes - these aren't as scary as they sound. They target the veins/arteries on either side of the throat to stop the flow of blood to the brain. They take hold pretty quickly but typically don't hurt at all, unless you pass out I guess

Air chokes - these are illegal in the ufc, because you can easily do damage to the throat structures. As you might guess, your character is just squeezing the hell out of the actual column of an opponent's throat. Also, they take longer to set in. Only let your character perform an air choke if they're a massive cunt/out for blood

Breaks:

This is actually another umbrella term. In reality, there are actual breaks, and then dislocations, hyperextensions, cranks/bars, and some that fall into multiple categories

Breaks - you guessed it, your character breaks bone. The most common ones are wrist, arm, elbow and knee (these two also fall into the hyperextension category), leg and ankle breaks. I've broken too many of my own bones to enjoy writing OR reading these, so

Dislocations - again, pretty self-explanatory. Shoulder and knee dislocations take precedence. Gross

Hyperextensions - mostly elbows and knees. Disgusting

Cranks/bars - this is the one I think I need to explain the most. Cranks aim to fuck up muscles, tendons and ligaments by wrenching joints beyond their normal mobilities. I see the most shoulder and knee cranks. Whump writers, you'll love these because you can go slow, drag it out. That being said, if you make me read that, I will show up in your backyard

Basic Terminology

So I already got some terms out of the way, but grappling is a whole different world than stand-up fighting. Have y'all ever heard 'jiu jitsu is gay' jokes? They're right actually

Rolling - the actual act of grappling with someone, usually for practice. It is NOT out of the ordinary for a character who does martial arts to say to their buddy, 'hey, you wanna roll?'

Clinch - 'the clinch' is kind of an intermediary stage between stand-up fighting and grappling wherein a character and their opponent are still on their feet, but they're holding onto each other. It kinda looks like a dynamic hug tbh, but really, they're fighting for a more advantageous position, so that a given character can knock their opponent to the ground

Mount - one character is flat on their back while the other straddles their chest. Ideally, the character on top (dominant position) would either sit high on their opponent's chest/collarbones, or they would sit directly on the diaphragm and squeeze with their knees

Guard - one character is flat on their back with their legs crossed around the other character's torso, who has their knees slightly spread for balance. The character on the bottom has the advantage if they can trap and pull their opponent's face to their chest, and cross their ankles high on their opponent's back. Conversely, the character on top has the advantage if they can sit up as straight as possible

Half-guard - think scissoring, almost. One character on their back/side and one sitting/kneeling upright, each with one of the other's legs crossed between their own. Same rules for advantage as guard. I don't really like this position because I don't like having my legs tangled up, it's too easy for my opponent to try a knee bar

Side control - one character flat on their back (preferably with their knees bent upwards) and the other laying on them perpendicularly, face-down. The idea here is to be as heavy as possible, to stop the character on the bottom from moving. Female characters want to press using the weight of their hips, male characters want to press using the weight of their chest; to trap a female character, lay closer to the hips, and to trap a male character, lay on the chest.

Rear mount - actually not as terrible as it sounds! Both characters on their asses, one behind the other with their arms wrapped around the torso/the ankles hooked behind the knees. DO NOT let your character cross their ankles when they are the one behind, holding their opponent. It is an EXCELLENT way to end up with broken legs (don't worry abt why)

North-south - ...69. I hate this one too, it's way too easy to get my knee fucked with

I hope this was helpful, and if not helpful, at least amusing. I guess the idea of this post was to give you some key words to google, in case you want to do more in-depth research (i.e you want your character to perform a cool submission but have no idea where to start looking)

Unimportant but funny aside, my old instructors accidentally came up with a blood choke where you literally use your face to choke someone tf out. They call it The Hickey

[borninwinter81]

My piercings + ear redecorating!

I got my first lobe piercings when I was around 10 (scary old fashioned gun, at a jeweller, it was 1992 and no-one really knew better).

Throughout my mid to late teens I pierced my ears myself 4 more times with sewing needles. *obligatory warning that this was very stupid and can go horribly wrong, go to a professional*. Luckily for me I didn't get any infections or keloids.

I've had a few other piercings over the years but my ear ones are the only ones I still have, with the addition of a rook and a helix - those were all done professionally.

I took out my lip and tongue due to worry about tooth damage, my wrist surface piercing I only kept for a month as although I loved it, it was also super annoying and kept getting caught on things. I also removed my eyebrow in the last couple of years as it was also getting on my nerves. I'm a pretty rare beast as I managed to keep my eyebrow piercing from the age of 17 up to my late 30s, and I could probably still get it back in now. Eyebrow piercings are notorious for rejecting and growing out, but that never happened with mine. I generally heal piercings extremely well.

I retired my second lobes when I started stretching as I didn't want them to get in the way. My right has been at 16mm for about 15 years now. At the time I liked being asymmetrical, however late last year I decided I wanted to stretch the left up to match. Its currently at 5mm.

For almost the entire time I've had ear piercings they've been just plain steel - like the pic on the right. Remember, the body piercing era I started out in was the late 90s, and back then apart from surgical steel all you could get was horrible plastic stuff, and the occasional glittery gemstone. I'm not into bling. Titanium wasn't even a thing you could get for piercings at that point, and neither was internally threaded jewellery, which meant having interesting ends on them wasn't really possible.

I tend to forget that there are a lot more options now, so coinciding with stretching my left ear I've been scouring the Internet for jewellery I like. So far I have what you see here, though I do also have an ankh stud on the way. These are all titanium, and from 2 UK sellers, Herbie and Lou, and Deep Blue Piercing, whom I found on Etsy. Deep Blue does have their own website, but the pricing is the same as Etsy.

All my studs are labret studs as I find the flat back and the slightly larger gauge (1.2mm or 16g to Americans) much more comfortable. I never wear conventional earrings.

I do like to wear dangly ones which I remove the hooks from and put on a hinged segment ring, which I then hang from my tunnels. Here are a couple of examples.

The fly is from Kattie Whittle, and is one of my favourite pairs. The other one was from a charity shop. Both are surprisingly lightweight for such large earrings.

Though I think it can look awesome, for me personally I don't really like lots of large dangles up my ear, so I'm sticking with the studs in the rest of my lobes for now.

I'll fill them slowly but surely as I find more studs I like. I'd also really love to find some nice jewellery to put in my rook - you can get oval clickers for them, or I could switch out the ends of my horseshoe bar for some more interesting ones, or get a curved barbell and do the same thing. We will see 😁

I'm open to suggestions of good shops to get jewellery from, though of course it's much better for me if they're UK based. I don't really want to spend more on postage than I do on the jewellery!

[fairycosmos]

do you have any advice on how to overcome internalized homophobia? I’m a bi woman but I have a hard time accepting I’m bi, idk I always felt very strongly about gay rights but didn’t realize until recently I actually really like women and it kind of freaked me out….. the dread that wells up within me is actually kind of terrifying. I have conservative parents who are just casually homophobic but I mean they would never physically harm me or directly confront me about being gay but I think their casual indifference and disdain still left a deep impression on me. I had a girlfriend when I was 16 and my then girlfriend’s mom was really homophobic and to this day it’s painful to think about. Also I guess I always pinged as gay to lots of my classmates because at every school I was enrolled in during high school I always got mocked for being gay/into women. Well. I think I’ve always known I’m bi but not until recently did I realize I actually want to be with women. Do you have any advice how to build yourself up after such instances? How do I extend love to myself and accept myself while still remaining closeted and not having any sort of community in my social life…. I want to move out and live with people my age and make queer friends but I don’t even know where to start. I get so jealous seeing other people happy in relationships with supportive communities and families, which makes me a bad person I know but I just wish I had the guts to actually invest time and energy to build the life I want 😭

i'm going to be very real w you i may not be the very best person to ask. yes, i'm a bi woman whose closeted to my family, so we're on the same page as far as that goes, but i think based on this ask thar you're in a bit more of an extreme situation than me. my parents would describe themselves as liberal as far as economic status goes but they've definitely got an implicit bias towards the lgbt community and it has showed ever since i was a kid......i honestly do not know what they would do if they knew i was bisexual, idek if i would have a relationship with them at all. so I find it hard to offer any concrete advice on building yourself up after coming out bc, obviously, i haven't even gotten there myself - i'm out to some friends and stuff but not to family. i think more than anything we're in the same boat, i daydream about moving out and meeting queer friends too, it is a really really difficult position to be in. i wanna say the only thing i've done in the last 2 yrs go sort of expand my horizons is go to gay bars - though i have to get the train for 40 min to get to to one - and try and get in contact with any sort of lgbt support or community, even online.

something i want to impress is that you don't have to talk about your sexuality to anyone unless you're comfortable doing so. for the longest time i felt like i was betraying everyone by not immediately announcing it - being bi - but i've come to learn that is truly just. my business?? and not even a big deal to most ppl??? i often feel so perverted, so wrong, so just like. ashamed of experiencing same-sex attraction, but genuinely - we don't owe that information to anyone unless we decide for ourselves that it's relevant to that particular dynamic. it's really really hard for me to accept, and i still find it hard to even say "i'm bi" out loud. but i think i just want you to know w this message that i at least somewhat get it and that you're not doing anything wrong by just like. being who you are and doing what you can to get by authentically. sending a massive hug your way - if you want to talk about this more, feel free to message me anytime!! x

[kyofsonder]

Literally why are yall wishing deayh upon tumblrs ceo over this huge load of nothing? that person was always posting nudes like... yall are embarrassingly yallselves FR.

I don't know what the person who was banned posted prior to the ban. I actually don't follow her and didn't prior to this situation. I do know that what she posted that got her banned was (as far as I'm aware) not a violation of Tumblr TOS and definitley not a nude photo. I do know that this is far from the first time Tumblr's staff and CEO have struck out at harmless posts and hidden behind "Well, there were OTHER things this person posted BEFORE that we didn't like either" and that they almost exclusively target trans women and nonbinary people -- especially transfeminine people -- when they do this song and dance. I do know that this is far from the first time they've ignored the ACTUAL spam bot issues of tag spamming and literal porn posting in favor of targeting real human users for things like generic selfies (which is what got this particular user banned this time) and slightly over-the-top joke posts. I do know that Tumblr as a culture has issues with suspecting trans women of wrongdoing for flimsy reasons, which has been emboldened by staff in the past.

Is joking about wanting the CEO to die an over-the-top reaction, when what we really want is justice and an overall shift in the culture that normalizes transphobia and misogyny and transmisogyny on a systemic level? Are the people who mean it more sincerely than I do and truly want him dead being unfair because they're devaluing a human life in a fit of anger?

Probably. Yeah. I always keep the post that says "deserving is fake and death is bad" in my mind in times like this, and you're right that death isn't a fair thing to wish on even a transphobe. We should definitley all be internalizing "deserving is fake and death is bad" and working on our emotional processing so that isn't where we immediately go when we think of justice and retribution for the injustice we and members of our community/communities have faced. Break the cycle of violence and all that.

But at the same time, not only is that intensive work to be done on an individual-by-individual basis, this is communal catharsis. This is grasping at harsh words and extreme fantasies because we have seen so little real, material justice when one of our own is cast out from a communal space or otherwise denied community or support. When systemic injustic like trans women being targeted -- whether they've done anything wrong in the past or not -- for perfectly innocent posts and being barred from a community where they're meant to be safe happens, there's a very real historic rage in us that needs somewhere to go. In some it's quiet, in some it's less directly connected from the history it comes from, but we're all members and allies of the trans community and we all feel the need for that catharsis.

When a CEO who owns a whole company uses his power like a hammer and slams that down on any individual he wants, like playing Whack-a-Mole at the whim of his investors and algorithms and what little he may know of the demographics his investors favor, it's an understandable knee-jerk reaction that we would wish we also had hammers to return equalizing force on him. It's understandable that we would want the whole system changed and, exhausted by how little we've succeeded to do that on most scales as a community over the years, we wish for a whole restart and the death of the one who's perpetuating the harm.

It's an overreaction. Deserving is fake and death is bad. But it's rooted in things too deep and too messy to untangle, and it clumsily communicates what we're really trying to say: fix things. Make it better. Death to injustice, in so far as we can kill injustice as a thing. Death to harm, in so far as we can kill harm as an act. Death not so much to one CEO or to the staff or to Tumblr as a site, but to the culture of suspicion and malice that continues to target and pick apart trans people.

We just want people to be able to live their lives and run their blogs and not get harassed over it, and if we're overreacting when one of our own is barred from doing that and it's the billionth one of our own in our communal history that's been banned from a communal space... I think, at least for a moment, until we collect ourselves and figure out the appropriate material response (like that harassment report I just reblogged, maybe), we probably deserve to use imprecise words and have over-the-top fantasies.

[asoiaf-artbrdr]

i was wondering if you had any tips and tricks for creating characters on artbreeder. i have ocs that i’m dying to make but i can’t seem to figure out how to use the site. if you’re not comfortable with sharing that is alright!

Hi! thanks for getting in touch. Admittedly, they've changed a lot of the UI since my personal heyday on the site, but I'm sure I can offer some assistance!

So, first off, for someone new to the platform I would recommend starting by building off of another user's base product. So find a portrait that achieves some of what you're looking for in your OC (be it hair or skin or face shape similarities, whatever). Click the remix button to enter the editor. Here we are with my portrait of Margaery:

The most important trick I've found to creating nuanced portraits is in cultivating a robust gene library. This takes time, of course, but it is integral to the process! So, upper right hand corner is the add genes button. Click on that and another menu pops up. This menu allows you to browse recently created genes or look through your selection of favorites. As a long-time user, I have a few people I would recommend for their work creating genes. First is user zenozip. They helpfully have labeled everything they make with their username, so we can use the search function to find their genes.

Many users don't label their genes in this manner. Instead, you've got to search terms with your fingers crossed. Let's say you want something to increase contrast in your image. Well, you can try the term 'contrast,' or perhaps 'light' (as in lighting - I shorten terms to the simplest version because a text search will pick up more broad results that way) or maybe 'sharp.'

Once you find a gene you're interested in trying out, click to add it to your editor. I've selected the sad eyebrows gene for our example. It's helpful to get an idea of what a gene is doing to the elements in your portrait if you hope to make the best possible use of it. That means trying it out at slight increments as well as extreme ones, and seeing what happens in either direction of use:

Green on the bar (left image) is indicating positive values whereas that purpley shade indicates negative values. We can see a number of things have changed! For one, the obvious difference lies in the arch of the eyebrow. But the nose is more snubbish and shorter in the right image, her right mouth corner is more distinct. Her hair is also slightly wispier. However, the vast majority of the image remains the same as it was - this is something to keep your eye out for. Genes which focus on one feature or element and don't mess with the rest of your image are fantastic because you'll have to do less fine tuning in the long run. This gene is good at isolating it's major effects to the eyebrow ridge. But perhaps at some point you would want to make use of the effects it has on the nose, so it helps to keep an eye out for these sorts of things. I have plenty of genes in my catalogue I use more for their unintended or negative value effects than their stated purpose!

Making use of genes and having a handful you're confident in using will definitely improve your portraits. I also recommend saving often (the checkmark under her chin) because you can always build off what you've done so far. Also, if you're having trouble spotting the effects of a gene, try upping the chaos of the image (see below). This makes the effects of every change more (or less) extreme.

See? The thing I was saying about the hair is much more prominent now, right?

Another tip is to tag your images. As you build up more and more saved images, you're going to lose track of what you were doing. It also helps in that experiments can be pulled back up and resumed. I personally have a whole bunch of experiments with hairstyles and colors that I tag for so I can search my library of images and utilize them.

For example, I'll give Marg different hair. After resetting the image, I'm selecting to 'add parent' (at top). I call these blends.

Note my selection on the searchbar at the bottom. I'm going to try to make her hair more a pink shade, since that's easier with brunettes.

You can add several parents at a time. The factors you can mess with here are 'face' and 'style.' Face refers to the shape elements of the portrait, whereas style alters coloration and lighting. This is useful to play around with! If you made a portrait where the shapes of everything, the eyes, nose, hair, etc, were exactly as you wanted it, but you wanted to make a significant change in the color of the eyes perhaps, this is one method to doing that. For example, with Targaryen portraits, this is very helpful.

You can use this for makeup, too, or just lighting effects.

Anyways, I hope that's given you enough of a jumping off point! If you'd like to see more of the genes I'd recommend, there's a link to my Artbreeder account on my profile. From there, you can see the genes I've liked and try them out for yourself!

(note the setting on the search bar above) (also note the usernames seen here, specifically ivia_sedai, nikkio, and drconfused; I've used their genes frequently)

Good luck, and feel free to ask any clarifying questions you need!

[thatforgottenbasilisk]

Hi I just finished reading you Afhiko peddling for the second time I just wanna say your writing style has me laying at your feet beautiful I tell you so I wanted to ask if we could get like a found family AU with Afhiko I’m thinking the children as izuku & Tomura also something fantasy Idk I’ll leave the story telling to you if you decide to take up this silly little idea :D

hi anon :) thanku for the ask and the compliments!! <33

so since youre my first writing request anon in a LONG time i will do the found family with tomura and izuku but this will be my only afohiko with either of them </3 im too much of a dad for one truther to involve izuku too much in afohiko and tomura is a whole can of worms with sorahiko so this is IT

that said im not doing fantasy, i dont write fantasy in general, sorry!!

and also i really hope u dont mind but this sparked a big brain idea to check off a bthb prompt so im gonna just. do that

@badthingshappenbingo

now with all of that out of the way:

no children (i WISH) (ao3 link)

bthb info: captive push (for my hero academia)

words: 1431

rating: T

Sorahiko doesn't think of himself as much of a parental figure. He's not responsible enough for that shit, the idea of some kid learning from him and taking up his bad habits- no, no way, he refuses to be responsible for it.

He should've figured Hisashi wouldn't agree- and he also should've figured that he wouldn't ask before finding a kid and raising it as he sees fit.

Shimura Tenko is the grandson of one of Hisashi's old enemies, the Seventh holder of One for All, and hearing how long ago his husband killed her makes Sorahiko feel much older than his body reflects. At some point, Hisashi must've snuck an immortality, or at least anti-aging, quirk into him, but he's always vehemently denied it and then followed it up with "and if I did, I wouldn't take it back!"

So he's stuck looking thirty-something like his husband, which at least made it less weird to be walking around with Tenko sitting on his shoulders when he'd been the right age for it.

Besides, if Hisashi is to be believed about the effects age would've had on his body, given his quirk, he would be stuck at Tenko's height around now, so he guesses it's not all bad- he's got to look at the bright side of things, or else he would be forcing his new kid to suffer through his new parents' divorce, no matter how many times they've done it before it'll still suck for the kid.

He's glad that he'd had the restraint not to divorce Hisashi on the spot once he'd found out about Tenko; he'd been disappearing into one of his "secret" (only a secret to people who don't handle all the paperwork, Hisashi) villain bases, a bar all the way out in Kamino. Obviously, he wasn't cheating, because the man is far too possessive of the people he considers "his" to even think about something like that, but he was still up to something that he knew damn well Sorahiko wouldn't approve of.

So he went to the bar, and found a Noumu and a kid who was given an awfully depressing name- Shigaraki Tomura.

The ensuing argument was on the uglier side of their usual fights, so for any other couple it would be of truly permanent-divorce-level of proportions. Hisashi said something about the kid being his successor in the future in his attempt to get that quirk, to which Sorahiko had simply responded,

"That is a child."

"He's got the seeds of destruction in him already! Look at his quirk- "

"He is six years old."

Hisashi had been forced to relent at that, and then he made the mistake of revealing the kid's full name and heritage, in what must have been an attempt to get to divorce number 17, and Sorahiko had practically blown another gasket.

"You're trying to tell me he just so happened to develop a highly destructive quirk that's unprecedented in his family history?"

"More quirks are unprecedented than you'd think- "

"And you just so happened across him before anyone called the cops or anything at the sight of a child covered in blood?"

"I will admit that I was monitoring the Shimura household due to their connection to the Seventh- "

"Oh, sure, monitoring, is that what we're calling it?"

"Sometimes things just go the way I want them to! That's not my fault if I take advantage!"

"So sometimes quirkless kids- and I saw his shoes, don't try and bullshit me- connected to families of your enemies just spontaneously develop convenient quirks for you? Is that how that works?"

So Tenko summarily stopped being raised as the future successor for All for One's empire, and while Sorahiko would have much rather dropped him off at the nearest police station, orphanage, or the like, he also knows Hisashi well enough that the poor kid would be stuck in a vault within a week to resume his so-called "training."

He has a kid now, and has for the past four years. Sometimes he thinks Hisashi ended up winning with that arrangement, and then he reminds himself that Tenko is still called Tenko and is being raised to be a completely normal child- or, well, as normal a child can be with two villain parents.

Unfortunately, it seems that Hisashi has stopped being quite so bitter about losing his initial plan for Tenko and has fully accepted that he has a kid now, and has summarily began quietly petitioning for another. He's glad that Hisashi's at least attempting to ask permission on this one, but the answer is still hell fucking no.

Tenko is tolerable. He's quiet, minds his own business, there's a decent foundation of mutual respect between him and the now-ten-year-old. It works, and he is not at all keen to try and fix what isn't broken. There is nothing he wants less than a new variable to be added to his current living arrangement.

None of that is relevant at this current point in time, however. Right now, Tenko is at school and he and Hisashi are doing some good old-fashioned illegitimate business.

Right now, some middling human trafficking operation is trying to get Hisashi and his empire as customers to their trade, so the both of them are meeting with the head of it. Privately, they plan on killing him and subsuming the operation into the empire, but there's always variability to these kinds of things.

The man, with an uninteresting quirk that he never bothered to memorize, has apparently brought an underling with him, and before the meeting even begins, he tells the girl to "bring in the goods."

She nods, leaves, and returns holding a chain, which has multiple sets of handcuffs like a hand-holding rope in a kindergarten classroom. Maybe he's just thinking that because in the handcuffs are all small children in various states of distress, with the oldest seeming to be in front and a little runt in the back.

Hisashi appraises them, no doubt looking for decent Noumu material, while Sorahiko very determinedly does not look over at them. He's never agreed with using children in the Noumu trials, and he's consistently fought both Hisashi and Ujiko on that point, but he can't make it seem like they're not a unified front in front of some unimportant scrappers. Out of the corner of his eye, though, he sees Hisashi's expression shift and light up, before turning to the girl- she might be young enough to still be in school, no reason for her to be doing things like this- and telling her to set "the green one" loose.

Sorahiko looks over at who she's freeing, and notes that it's the runt in the back, one who couldn't be older than five. His eyes and hair are a matching bright green, and his face is dripping in tears.

"Sora."

Oh, he knows that tone.

"No."

"Sora."

"That is the face of a child who has a mother at home. Absolutely not."

The child, upon hearing this, cries harder, and Sorahiko feels like he might have just stepped in something he should not have stepped in. Hisashi leans down, looking for all the world like he's perfectly harmless and defenseless, but unless the two adults are exceptionally stupid, they won't try anything.

"What's your name, young man?"

"I- Izuku. I don't, I- they told me Momma died, she's not at home, I don't have a home, I'm sorry- "

Oh, great, now he feels bad. The child breaks down sobbing in response to Sorahiko's brazen comment, and Hisashi looks over at him with a face that is somehow even more pathetic than the literal children in chains.

"Fine. No more."

He will hold Hisashi to that. This is the last kid that he will help raise, he fucking promises. If Hisashi gets pipe dreams of a third, there will be a divorce in his near future.

Hisashi smiles widely, stands, and says to the girl, "We'll take them. Why don't you get yourself and the goods outside for a minute so we can talk business?"

The girl nods silently, with a shrewd look in her eye that makes Sorahiko think that she knows what's about to happen. She ushers the children away with her, glancing between them and her boss.

Ten minutes later, he and Hisashi are both completely spotless, while the rest of the dingy warehouse is covered in blood and various bits of gore.

"Izuku will make a fantastic little brother for Tenko, don't you think?" Hisashi asks conversationally, and Sorahiko groans.

[ifeltfree]

Yeah, of course I'll talk with you about it. I'm sorry to hear you're recently diagnosed. I'd say it gets better, but I'd be lying. What does change is that you get tougher, more resilient. If you're lucky, you have people around you who understand and support you well. The seizures never stop being terrifying.

It's an awful disease and one that is extremely misunderstood. Isolating is the right word, for sure. I was diagnosed at 16, so I know how hard it can be to have it as a teenager/young person as well. It feels like it's stealing from you. It is. Don't let anyone tell you any different. Your feelings are justified.

As far as how I cope? Poorly, for a long time, but recently things have been looking up. I was seizure-free for about five years before a recent set of breakthrough seizures (I crashed my car too, lol what a time), so I'm relearning how to deal with the fear and paranoia.

Logistically, I've done a few things:

I was able to get my job to let me work from home 3/5 days of the week.

I sleep. A lot. I still hang out with people and I have a lot of friends, but I had to accept there are things I can't do.

I spend a lot of time in quiet. Overstimulation doesn't help. I found this out the long way - took me forever to realize shutting up one or a few of my senses cut down the brain activity (I'm dumb).

I don't drink. I used to drink - probably too much. Substance abuse and epilepsy don't mix. That wasn't the reason for my breakthroughs, but I do have a little sobriety app. Kinda fun, honestly.

I talk to my friends about it.

That last point is something that I'd never done before this year. It's hard, of course, but I think it's helped that my friends now know I'm having crises of sanity, faith, philosophy - whatever - every day of my goddamn life. It's impossible to live with this disease and not think about what's real, what's not, if I'm losing time, what exactly is a soul...you understand.

Also, seizures are impossible to describe, but I try. That helps as well. Horrifies my friends, but they've said it's ok to talk about.

Every seizure I've had (barring these last ones, or I'd have killed myself) has stolen my personhood from me. I'd wake up as a different person, and then I'd just...live in a stranger's apartment, wear a stranger's clothes, wake up in a stranger's bed. After about a week, the feeling starts to fade but nothing ever goes back to that first reality. That disorientation is, for me, one of the worst parts of epilepsy. It's fucking scary. And if you go through that, I am so, so sorry.

If you want to talk about this more, let me know. I'm much less serious than I seem, and I write like this because I'm overeducated after being scared shitless by my brain. So.

Anyway, feel free to publish this and I hope you feel better soon.

Also, tell your tattoo artist what happened - they'll thank you for not coming in, and they also need to know you're not a flake. Don't want to make them responsible for an unconscious body when they don't have to be! :)

thank you for talking to me more about this. you worded a lot of this really well and its reassuring to know its normal to feel that way that i do about it all. my family thinks im exaggerating it so sometimes i question if im blowing things out of proportion.

anyway, thats terrible that you crashed your car. thats such a huge fear of mine and i cant imagine going through that, im so sorry. its so unfortunate that you have to miss out on things, but im glad you figured out what works for you to keep you in better shape. im gonna try and be mindful about the things you mentioned and see if they make a difference for me, thank you

i dont have much of a support system, most of my friends stopped talking to me after college and i find it hard to meet new people where i live. its significantly harder to cope with shit like this when youre on your own. im sure you get it. and i totally understand what you mean by losing your sense of self. it feels like everything is foggy, all the time but even worse on days i have seizures. it almost makes me mad cause its not fair that after everything else that comes with it, i have to have a diluted watered down personality too.

again thank you for this. ill definitely reach out if the urge arises and you definitely can too. im always open to talk, about anything

[okinawa-division]

Rashaad's Thoughts on Shizuoka Division

Kanon Hojo

"Like Master Ace mentioned, this woman gives off very dangerous vibes. Vibes that are very similar to the ones exhibited by Okada-san from Shinagawa. She seems... mentally unstable. She's not deranged, but she does clearly have some sort of problems with her head. I suspect her time in Chuohku may have done something to her mind that can't easily be repaired. She has my sympathies."

Reika Aichi

"It says a lot about Miss Rose's character that she was able to befriend not only this woman but also her teammate, Sakura-san. I know the rumors swirling around about Aichi-san. How she seduces and then kills each man she marries for her money. It isn't my place to judge her for her actions, but I hope she realizes that karma will come for her sooner or later. I only hope she will be ready when it does."

Kito Sakura

"...I'll admit, had it not been for Aichi-san vouching for her, I'd have never let Sakura-san in or around my bar. As you all know, I dislike anything that has to do with the Yakuza. They bring back too many bad memories of... things I'd rather not think about right now." Rashaad looks off to the side, looking forlorn. He shakes his head and looks back at the screen. "Besides that, Luis from Aoyama had told me what this woman had sent her men to try to do to his restaurant and his grandmother. That gave me more than enough reason to not allow her access."

"However, Aichi-san spoke in favor of her, and though I was still skeptical, I allowed her to enter, provided she leave her weapons behind, and not allow any of her henchmen to follow her. It would make the rest of my customers uncomfortable. I can tell she didn't like anyone giving her orders, but she relented."

"She's so far obeyed the rules, though I still keep an eye on her. Aside from that, I think she also seems to dislike the fact that she has to look up at me. She's used to being taller than everyone else, I don't think she's met anyone, aside from Luis, who she has to look up to. I'll admit, I've never really thought much about my height recently. ...But in this case, I'm grateful for it."

Silent Tragedy

"I know you're all probably wondering why I'm letting three cold-blooded killers into my bar. Well, the four of us have an agreement. So long as they don't bring any trouble into my bar and agree to leave any bad intentions at the door, then they are free to come and relax as often as they please. After all, I can't rightfully refuse service to anyone who has done wrong. If I did that, I'd never have any business."

"And for the most part, they've obeyed the rules of the bar. They don't come often, but when they do, I often give them their own booth and treat them as I would any other customer. I also give a warning to the other patrons not to do anything to antagonize them, though I don't think I had to since their reputations alone are enough to keep most people away."

[scienceclubofficial]

Chapter 3: Meet the Unos (1)

Prev chapter | Next Chapter

(author's note: starting from this chapter I'm not doing the colored text anymore. I quickly ran out of colors for how many characters there are)

Two weeks had passed since Mari started going to the SCCA. She had decided to spend the weekend at her Parent's, as they had been blowing up her phone about visiting. When she got back, she was greeted by her mother as if she had been gone for a year already. The first person she decided to catch up with was her sister, Kettia. They gamed from morning till afternoon, only stopping when their mother had made a massive welcome home luncheon for Mari.

Completely full and dreading the idea of how big dinner will be, Mari and Kettia continued playing Smash Bros in Kettia's room.

"No no no no, FUCK" Kettia exclaimed as her main, Pyra & Mythra, were beaten by Mari's Villager in a glorious final smash. "How are you so good with Villager?! I play this game more than you, and Villager's terrible anyway!"

"Not hard to get your pattern when you were spamming the same move for both Pyra and Mythra"

"Whatever! Villager is still dog-water, and personally, I'm not taking this disrespect. I want a rematch!"

"Nah, I'm done for now"

"What?! Already! Fine, but we're rematching tomorrow." Kettia closes out of Smash. "So what you wanna play next? Wanna see my Stardew file? I've been doing really good this run. I also cheated on every dateable npc. Wanna see the cut scene I unlocked?"

"Nah, I think I'm done gaming for today"

"Ahh damn. Wanna watch an Anime then?"

"Why don't we just talk?"

"Kinda cringe"

"Whatever, just get up here on the bed"

Kettia got out of her hunkered sitting position on the floor, and laid at the head of the bed, while Mari stayed sat on the foot of the bed. "So what? You got any interesting stories from that stupid university Dad sent you to?"

"...Uhm, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Kettia, I'm hoping you can keep a secret"

"You dropped out and now you're a streetwalker moonlighting at sketchy bars"

"What?"

"You know, what mom said would happen if you didn't get your degree"

"No no, I didn't drop out, I just switched Universities"

"Big if true"

"It is"

"Welp, Dad's disowning you. At least I'm the favorite kid now"

"That's what I'm talking about, you can't tell Dad"

"You think he's not gonna find out?"

"Well so far he hasn't"

"Mari, the night you didn't come back Mom and Dad were ready to drive down to the school and  interrogate their asses on where you went, and even if you do somehow see them enough that they won't try to barge into your school you're not going to, they still want to see you graduate from the school you're not going to. At some point they're gonna find out."

"Well I hope that when they find out, that they'll be satisfied by how good of a school it is"

"What school is it"

"SCCA, it stands for Sylvest-"

"I know what it stands for, and you're screwed. Buy your coffin now and will me your stuff, cause you're done"

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"All they've been able to talk about at the dinner table is the motherfucking SCCA"

"When did they become interested all of a sudden? And what complaints do they have about it?"

"Well, Mom is super freaking out about what that Vanny Kirk did"

"Van Niekirk"

"You shut the hell up, anyway. Dad was complaining about them a bit before that. First he was all like "Back in my day we had to actually pay for our tuitions, now these new age socialists are trying to ruin everything for the rest of us.""

"I can tell you right now, they definitely don't sound Socialist. Mr. Rand, my economics-"

"Me when I'm Mari and I won't let my sister finish her goddamn story"

"Alright alright, I'm just saying"

"Jesus. Anyway, Dad was also pretty disgusted by Vinny Kirk, but he usually just yaps about how they're "destroying the natural order of things," and, "my father didn't come to this country and work his back off just for these people to live off of our tax dollars," and so I try telling him, 'Dad, I don't think they use our tax dollars, they're, like, a private conglomenerate or something,' and he said, 'well that's what this is all leading to! First that E-sick Deeter gives a kid a free heart transplant, next thing you know the government has us all in their state owned communist factories!"

"Ok, for one, his name is pronounced Ishaq Didar"

"I'm still looking for whoever the fuck asked"

"Fine bitch, but that's an entire ass name you're fucking up"

"I don't care!"

"What, like nobody mispronounced your name reading it for the first time?"

"Hey, I have a cool ass name, those people just don't know how to read"

"Well anyway, back to what I was saying. Ishaq is a genius but he definitely does NOT know how to do a heart transplant"

"What, like you know him?"

"Yes, I do actually. I intern at his lab"

"Pics or it didn't happen"

"...I don't have any pictures"

"Me when I'm Mari and I just lie to my sister for no good reason"

"Why would I lie about this?!"

"To seem cooler I guess"

"Bitch, I don't need to impress you"

"What, next you're gonna tell me you know that other guy, Sexio Donnell"

"...Bitch, what?!"

****

Rose Uno looked out at the setting sun by the window sill, finishing up the dishes from lunch. She had a massive Roast cooking in the oven as she got ready to set up the dinner table. With her husband at work, and Kettia always out either at baseball practice or with friends during her free time, the house normally felt lonely, but she was glad to hear Mari and Kettia having fun again. She knew her daughter had to go to college for her career, but she was hoping Mari would be able to stay. Despite her protests when Mari announced she was moving out, it was Koshiro, her husband, that ultimately convinced her that this was for the better, for Mari to spread her wings and leave the nest. He commended her for it.

Rose snapped out of her mindless gazing when she heard her phone ringing. Looking at the caller ID, it was Koshiro. "Hi Honey, how's work?.....Oh, well you'll make it just in time for dinner then, the roast is gonna take a while. Sorry that bastard of a boss is keeping you there longer.....Yeah, Mari made it over safely, she and her sister are playing games and cussing around just like old times.....No, she hasn't said anything about school yet, you'll have to ask her that at the dinner table. But maybe wait a while on that, she probably doesn’t want to think about school for now.....I know, but she came here to relax with her family, and besides, we're probably the only ones she's got. You know she was never good at making friends.....Hey, don't blame me, I never saw you telling her to go outside much either.....EXACTLY!" There was a long pause on the phone after she said that "Well whatever, just tell her how you feel when you get here.....alright, love you."

****

"You're kind of a dumbass" Kettia said, slinking back after hearing Mari's story

"How so?"

"There were like so many red flags, the first time you should've booked it was after helping her find her dog, like, the girl is clearly a weirdo"

"She's not that weird, no weirder than me"

"My point exactly. If I met someone as weird as you in public I'd run the other way. You're lucky you have the excuse of being my sister, otherwise I'd never hang out with you"

Mari rolled her eyes "Yeah, I'm so lucky"

"Anyway, the next red flag was that Sexy O-"

"If you call him Sexy O'Donald one more time, I'm gonna hit you"

"Fine, the Don guy, whatever his name is. Like, if I saw his face grow literal spikes, I'd book i, I would've been the first one out the door"

"He has...very unique looking hives..."

"Yeah, anyway, and the third red flag would've been when that guy, I-" Mari glared at Kettia "...Ishaq" Mari stopped glaring "Yeah, Ishaq. Anyway, if that guy made me touch his eyeballs, they would've been black eyes after that is all I'm saying"

"Yeah, I really did feel ready to leave after that, but I felt bad for how sad Alicia was"

"I still don't get how my sister of all people was able to make a friend in a day"

"What, like I don't know how?"

"No! You don't! Whenever I tried to introduce you to my friends, you never even made an effort"

"Well your friends were weird"

"My friends were weird?! Bitch, you were the queen of the weird kids table. You're lucky you even got to meet my friends"

"Well whatever, I still had some friends"

"Barely, your friendships never made any sense. What was that one girl you brought over back in Freshman year? You said she was your best friend, but you guys never talked once in the entire time she was here"

"...I...I have a different way of communicating with friends"

"What, telepathically?"

"Shut up"

"Well whatever, it still makes no sense that you somehow made a friend in a day"

"Well, she wasn't my friend at first, I would just call her someone who was willing to help, but I'd definitely call her a friend now, after all we've been through"

"After surviving the eye guy"

"He can be a bit annoying with all of his pranks, but we actually got a few good pranks on him too"

"The one with the bucket of lemon juice over the door sounded hilarious"

"...Ok, we might've gone too far with that one"

"Maybe not far enough"

"Well either way, he's still a cool guy"

"Yeah, your little crush"

"I told you already, I don't have a crush on him!"

"Yeah yeah, the whole eyes in a jar thing, you told me, weirdo. But I know that must've taken a lot of bravery on your part"

"Well whatever, he doesn't even have those eyes anymore"

"...What do you mean by that?"

"I mean he doesn't have those eyes anymore, he traded them out for mantis shrimp eyes a bit ago"

"Wait, how the fuck?"

"Now he just wears this blindfold everywhere, because according to him his mind couldn't handle all of the new colors on the spectrum, it was like sensory overload"

"....huh?"

"Sad too, I really liked those eyes and he stabbed one out right in front me"

"PAUSE?"

"Yeah, he pretended he had a lab accident and that he got a needle in his eye. He started screaming, then I started screaming, and Alicia screamed, and I don't know where Galleta went, probably hid somewhere. Anyway, after all that he just started laughing his ass off, and even started digging the needle in deeper just to freak us out"

"Dude, that's horrible"

"Nah, according to him it doesn't hurt. He's done it like 50 times before, and he said he did it because he was getting a new pair anyway"

"Still"

"I know, sad. I asked him if I could have the other one, but he said he wanted to keep it"

"Why? I thought he destroyed the other one because he didn't want it?"

"He said those eyes have the most beautiful view of the world he's ever seen so far, that whoever used to own them didn't know that those eyes were able to see an extra unknown color, so he put that other eye on his chest"

"...Huh?"

"I know...it makes me want it more"

"Seek professional help"

"Too much work"

Kettia just laid at the head of her bed, arms crossed, looking at the ceiling "A lot to dump on me though, I don't know how I'm gonna keep it all a secret"

"Please. Like, if you could also let me know if Mom and Dad are going to try to visit me at that University, like, just try to distract them while I figure out what to do"

"I'm all for a good conspiracy, but like I said, they're gonna figure it out eventually"

"Hopefully by the time they figure it out, I'll have been graduated, and moved a country over"

"Wow, so you're really leaving us?"

"No, not for a long time, maybe not until I get my doctorate"

"Doctorate?!"

"Yeah, I might just go for my doctorate"

"Ok, for one, I can't imagine my sister ever becoming a doctor. If I needed life-saving surgery, and you were the only surgeon in the country, I would just die"

"Hey, I've done a pretty good job shadowing Ishaq"

"You just told me how terrible he is at his job"

"Exactly, so it's a learning experience for both of us"

"...Bruh. Well whatever the fuck you're majoring in, how do you expect to keep this secret until you get your doctorate?"

"I'll figure that out when I get there"

"Bruh..." Kettia sighed "You're kind of a dumbass"

****

The sun had already set on this cold fall night, and Koshiro found himself driving a lonely road. Not many people out, he was expecting way more, but he of course didn't complain about having a clear open road to commute back. He couldn't help but think back to earlier, when he stopped by his favorite coffee shop that morning, he had noticed a father playing games with his young daughters at one of the tables, likely just wasting time until he had to drop them off at school.

That moment was an interesting coincidence, right on the day when his own daughter was coming to visit, after her sudden disappearance. Koshiro knew his daughter was going to leave the nest soon, he had even encouraged it, but he never expected it to happen over night. The day Mari left, Koshiro had said his goodbyes like he always had, not expecting that to possibly be his last for a good while. The moment was enlightening to him, a reminder that youth passes as quickly as the changing autumn leaves. Just a short time ago he had congratulated his beloved daughter on graduating High School, just a bit before that, he was sending her off to her first day in High School, and a bit before that she had just been going to school, and not that long ago to him, she had just entered his life.

Koshiro didn't want to admit to his coworkers why he was more quiet than usual, that he was stressing the coming winter, because he still hadn't fully processed the spring that came years earlier. But the passing seasons wait for no one, and especially not for those who never stopped to give them even a moment's notice.

Glancing at the moon that came in as quickly as the setting sun, Koshiro thought about his conversation earlier...

****

Goddamn it, why does the boss think he can just dump all this work on me at the last moment. Who does he think I am? I ought to give him a piece of my mind!...Who are you kidding Koshiro, you're not going to do any of that... *sigh* ...Guess I'll have to tell Rose

".....Hey honey.....Oh yeah, it's going well I guess, but hey, I won't be able to make it to dinner on time. Stupid boss, you already know. I'll probably be back by 9.....Oh really? That long, ok, I'm glad. Uhm, did Mari make it over ok?..... Has she said anything about school yet? Or why she might've left?.....Well I think she at least owes us an explanation..... Yeah, kind of your fault for coddling her so much..... Well I wasn't there to tell her, you were....." *Koshiro gave a long pause* "...Yeah, I guess I will...Love you too..."

*beep*

[veebs-hates-video-games]

And now the Switch counterpart for the previous post, this time with all the Switch games I've started playing in the past five years but haven't finished but also am at least pretending I'll get back to eventually.

Hades is one I did technically finish, but only the main story the one time. I do want to play more and get some more of more people's stories and unlock some more stuff, but I just keep having other stuff to do. Great game though, and I'm looking forward to the sequel.

Final Fantasy 12 is one I keep going back to every once in a while. I do genuinely like a lot of stuff about it, but I inevitably run into something really annoying about it too every several hours and then take a break for a few months or a year. I do plan to finish it eventually though, and I'm slowly getting closer.

Bayonetta 2 is a lot better than the first game, which had some great ideas but just felt to me like it wasn't quite done figuring out what to do with them. I stopped like halfway through because reasons and haven't picked it up again yet at least partly because I feel like it would benefit from being on the TV instead of handheld, but I can't see the TV well enough.

Theatrhythm Final Bar Line is another one with the TV problem. I could play it just fine handheld, but the music in it deserves better than the built-in speakers, and the headphone jack is just awful quality. Unfortunately I can't see the TV and don't have my little audio box I run the Switch through so I can use my headphones with it while it's docked.

Tears of the Kingdom is also another TV victim. It's pretty low priority for me to get back to because I really don't love the direction they've gone with BotW and TotK, but it at least partially solves a lot of the problems I had with BotW so I've enjoyed it more. It's completely unplayable handheld for me though because the control setup is bad with a pro controller and literally unusable on the joycons, so it's on hold indefinitely until I can do something about that.

Dragon Quest 11 is so painfully slow replaying the first dozen hours that I already did in the demo on my computer a few years ago, and it makes it hard to work up the motivation to push through it. A lot of stuff about it is great though, and I really enjoyed this stuff the first time through, so I'll deal with it eventually. Probably.

GrimGrimoire OnceMore (or GRiMgRiMoiRe OnCeMoRe if the logo is anything to go by) is something I wanted to finish before Unicorn Overlord comes out, but that's almost definitely not happening. I got sidetracked and stopped playing it for a few months and totally forgot how everything works, and it's really not very forgiving of that. We'll see if I can remember how to video games one of these days.

Disco Elysium does so many things so well even though it's really not my usual kind of thing. I just haven't felt like my brain is in the right place for it lately.

Baten Kaitos is still fun 20 years later. I've been taking a break though because my ADHD brain decided it was time to do something else after like the first dozen hours or so. I'm in no rush with it because I've already played it before forever ago, so it'll get there when it gets there.

Kirby and the Forgotten Land has kind of made me like it less as it goes on. Like it's still plenty of fun, I just kept finding more little annoyances toward the end and lost my momentum. I've finished the main story and rolled the credits and everything, but I only made it partway through the postgame stuff before needing a break.

Jack Jeanne I'm actually actively working on, or was as of a day or two ago. I may or may not need a break because it takes forever to go through all the different routes, and after doing the neutral route first I don't like the individual character ones quite as much. That first time through that first route was my favorite thing so far this year though.

Egglia Rebirth is one of those things I go back to for a few hours a couple times a year. I still really like a lot of things about it, but it gets a little grindy and repetitive trying to do too much at once, and my brain is not suited to coming back to games for like half an hour or an hour once a day for days or weeks in a row. I need to do like 12 hours straight in a single sitting and then not touch it again for six months, which is really not the ideal way to play this.

Fire Emblem Warriors is also another few hours every few months game. I have an overly complex spreadsheet that I built off one of the existing ones online but added a bunch of stuff to it and enhanced it, and slowly checking stuff off is satisfying. I'm a good chunk of the way through history mode, but it'll take approximately forever to finish everything if I ever do.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is also a few hours every few months between other games. I already finished it a while ago and am just going through the story again on NG+. I still really like the characters and story, but this experience is quickly making the combat system become possibly my least favorite in the entire series, when before I felt like every game got better than the previous one.

The House in Fata Morgana I guess can be included too. I finished the actual main story last year and it was great, but I'm still pretending I'll try to get through the extra side stories and stuff one of these days. We'll see, I guess.

Between these lists in these two posts I'm at least theoretically in the middle of playing like 30 games. Why yes, I do have ADHD and a variety of other weird things going on in my brain. How did you guess?

[kimbapisnotsushi]

*rattles the bars on the cage* RELEASE THE ITACHIYAMA ESSAY SOU!!!!!!!

*cracks knuckles* ALL RIGHT LET'S DO THIS (warning!! timeskip spoilers!!)

so. as you all may know, we only (tragically) get three characters from itachiyama: komori motoya, sakusa kiyoomi, and my absolute beloved iizuna tsukasa. now!!! you may ask!!! why are they so iconic if there are only three players!!! how much meaning can they possibly have when they have such short screentime!!! why is it so important that we believe in their banner being "effort" more than "invincible"!!! ALL EXCELLENT QUESTIONS!!! ONES THAT I WILL GLADLY ANSWER!!! (this turned into a very long post and it's mostly me rambling, but i hope you enjoy nontheless!)

let's start with these panels:

so, first important thing to know: it doesn't seem like sakusa kiyoomi has a lot of faith in "luck". he's pragmatic and practical and every other word for it you can think of. he hates people who are "careless and unprepared", but he also knows that "no matter how well you prepare, you can't be ready for everything". in which case, who is to judge whether a person has prepared efficiently or not? does sakusa expect himself to uphold these standards? the answer is: yes!!

here, we get our first glimpse into the type of person sakusa is. he doesn't half-ass things. he has a serious sense of responsibility, probably because he's had to take care of himself from such a young age. but what really gets me is how he started volleyball. he started volleyball feeling like it was just something to do, but sakusa puts 100% and beyond effort into everything he does. so of course he was going to take volleyball seriously no matter how he felt about it

and then he and komori discover the spin

other than this shot being absolutely goddamn hilarious, i love this panel because komori sees this as a step forward. he said before he and sakusa weren't that close, but now komori can look at him and understand: damn, he's all in. there's no stopping him now. AND LOOK AT WHERE THEY ENDED UP!! NATIONAL TEAM BABY!!!

so, effort and preparation. sakusa puts maximum effort in everything in order to be prepared for anything - which is a pretty solid way of looking at life, as far as i'm concerned.

but it wasn't enough.

iizuna gets hurt. itachiyama loses. and what follows is probably one of my absolute favorite convos/senior-junior moments in the entire series:

LET'S BREAK THIS DOWN, SHALL WE?

first off . . . i would like to acknowledge just how well sakusa and iizuna must get along for iizuna to be able to read sakusa like that. and the respect sakusa has for iizuna to let them grow close enough in the first place???? it's adorable. i love it.

but also. sakusa's response is everything. he KNOWS how hard iizuna worked. he KNOWS that their team put in 100%. so he doesn't get why iizuna is sobbing like a little bitch! because since they practiced so hard, it's not like they could blame it on the lack thereof, right? what do they have to regret when they did everything they were supposed to?

and that's why iizuna is so heartbroken. they did everything they were supposed to, but this one thing out of their control - the one thing they absolutely couldn't prepare for - still happened. and if it hadn't . . . i bet that haunted iizuna for a long, long time.

so iizuna knocks some sense into sakusa's head. and sakusa, bless his soul, says he doesn't want to pity iizuna. that doesn't mean he feels nothing - he just thinks there's nothing to feel sorry for when they've all done their very best.

and now . . .

god. okay. this entire page makes me VERY emotional.

so. sakusa doesn't have a lot of faith in "luck". but there are things he considers "lucky". and these are all things that are outside of his control. these are all things that he had no way to prepare for. meeting iizuna and ushijima, having komori stay by his side, being recruited for the pro leagues - they all happened as effects of sakusa just doing his best with his everyday life.

AND THEN. THIS FUCKING SCENE. WHEN I TELL YOU I NEARLY CRIED.

sakusa is STILL aiming to do his best with his everyday life!! the best for himself, and for his teammates and friends, and for the sport that he loves so much. and if he's lucky . . . then he won't end feeling the way iizuna did at their nationals game. he won't end feeling like he has any regrets. if he's lucky, he'll get the ending he wants.

sakusa kiyoomi puts 100% effort in everything he does. and the rest? well, he's going to leave that up to chance

[sunnykeysmash]

ok so I have marinated the four episodes in my brain (plus the previous season) and I think I have some scattered thoughts I'd like to put on record when it comes to what's happening and the very general direction of things

first of all, very happy to see I was right about season 14 fixing mac and dennis' dynamic, and very excited to see why that is, if just to disrupt them again, or to make them closer than they've ever been, romantically

now, lately I was thinking about the general themes in the last seasons of things leaving and eventually coming back, missing them, and so on, I think we're all familiar with it (dennis leaving, "they leave but they all come back", a lot of episodes from season 14 like chop, thundergun, chokes, texts, are at heart about missing something when it's gone)

and I think this still ties with what I have seen so far of season 15. the gang is tired, they'd like to try something different, they are in the mood for pageantry and the general mood of paddy's is just depressing to them. where s15 differs from the previous seasons is they're not resisting change but seeking it out. they're nostalgic for their idealized past (we'll get to that), and the present and what they have built in 23 years with the bar doesn't quite compare

if you've followed me thus far you'll know that I believe most episodes of sunny in recent seasons can be read in layers and usually they're not just surface level in the way they explore things. and I personally think the Roller Rink episode falls under that

so the episode itself isn't much about their past or their origin story or anything, it is still about identity.

in that way, the gang acting uncharacteristically and unlike themselves is a diversion done on purpose.

Paddy's in many, many episodes is a stand-in for the show itself (wins an award, jumper, to name some), and I think the same is happening in season 15, with episode 3 being the most obvious example of it (though minor examples being charlie wanting to fire fireworks inside it risking burning it down, maybe to symbolize on rcg's behalf a celebration so uncharacteristic of them that it destroys everything they've built, or in episode four where it's discussed that a group of monkeys could run their bar, maybe to symbolize them growing so complacent in their "algorithmical" way of writing that it almost feels like their input is no longer necessary?)

that said, the roller rink, being the establishment they originally wanted to purchase instead of the bar, works for me the same way other bars worked in Wins an Award, it's a look at how different the show could've been, how unlike themselves. and this season is all about figuring out what makes them, them, just how far they can push that. the most recent clip about mac finding out his dad's last name is fake really just cemented that more in my eyes. they are looking for a sense of identity, we have that much figured out

which brings me to my next point, and this is something I took from the Roller Rink episode but also from all I have discussed so far in general, and that is that ultimately, too much change makes you so unrecognizable that you lose yourself. so in a way, season 15 is about figuring out that healthy middle ground where you can reinvent yourself without losing yourself

I think by straying SO far away from their normal, they will come to eventually miss what they had all along, possibly remember it fondly quite like they did for the Roller Rink, a view maybe a little too idealized than what is real, but overall, reevaluating what they had dismissed before.

not being thrust into purchasing the bar bur wishing for something else, but actively choosing the bar, choosing to stay, and maybe make changes to what you already have, that don't denature its core but still make it something new and exciting. a change that in many ways feels like improving what you already had, building on your foundations rather than tearing them all down

as for how that might impact mac and dennis, well, dennis already did this. sort of. it's not 100% clear, but when he came back from North Dakota, in a way he chose to stay with the gang, with mac, though maybe it wasn't entirely a choice motivated by the right sentiment, maybe at the time it felt forced on him.

well, that doesn't matter, because I still think they will all have to make choices that redefine who they are, in the terms that I talked about.

if mac and dennis did get together in this season, it would be because they made a choice to. mac choosing dennis over his religion, dennis choosing to be himself instead of a fake persona like that of brian (with everything that entails, giving up being brian because that is not who he is).

if you were to ask me if I think mac would choose dennis over his religion... well, that is tough to say, although what comes to mind here is that "he's the only one who could!" ad for s13 (which again, echoes what happens in s13ep1, it's not just some ad). I discussed this already, mac talks about how "god is the only man that can fill him up", and we already know this to not be true.

Not to mention all the god symbolism that's already attached to dennis. Not to lean in too deeply on my old classic theory/analysis about brian vs dennis, death vs love, but what I'm thinking is going to happen here is a resurrection metaphor, much like that of Jesus, which I think would make perfect sense for dennis. It explains why his fever lasts three episodes (three days), and then he metaphorically "dies" in the hospital, and raises again as his true self.

I don't know if this'll really happen, but it's what I feel like is a good guess based on the elements I've got, so I just wanted to share.

Tl;Dr:

(credit to @cutemeat for showing this picture to me and giving me brainworms)

And wait, I was gonna post this as is, but I also would like to add that this choice business is not gonna be limited to mac and dennis in my opinion, it's likely to me charlie will choose frank (regardless of paternity status), frank might choose (or accept) his role as the paternal figure of the gang, dee... yeah, I'm not really sure about her. She is tough. But ultimately she could also choose the bar over her acting career, or she could choose to become a writer, since she's been writing her own material all this time, so probably it was never about just acting for her. And acting could be used as a more general metaphor for being inauthentic anyway, so it could make sense to drop it.

But I don't know, it's just a guess.

Either way, let me know what you think! And sorry about no read more again, I'm writing from my phone.

[wuggen]

Tagged by @toasthaste to put my playlist on shuffle and post the first ten things that pop out! I've done this before and it's always gone somewhat hilariously (as it turns out the Minecraft soundtrack is the dominant force in my music library, and most of the rest of it is occupied by other assorted video game soundtracks) so we'll see if by some miracle this time goes any differently. My music library is pretty small (675 tracks, of which only around 100 are currently in rotation on my playlist), for whatever that's worth.

Far - C418, Minecraft soundtrack

Atlas - Curtis Schweitzer, Starbound soundtrack

Biome Fest - C418, Minecraft soundtrack

Beginning 2 - C418, Minecraft soundtrack

Lmao yeah, that seems about right :P

Brot - Jón Ólafsson and Futuregrapher, Eitt

This is from a gorgeous instrumental/ambient album that I found in like... 2016? 2015 maybe? It was recommended by a person I followed here who no longer hangs out on tumblr, and I know precisely nothing about the composers or what other stuff they've done. I do absolutely adore this album though.

Perfect Synergy - Laura Platt, Breathe

I think I found Laura Platt via some orchestral covers she did of the Undertale soundtrack? That seems about right. This album is all original work though. I fucking love her music, it's so pretty.

Black Mesa Theme (Mesa Mix) - Joel Nielsen, Black Mesa soundtrack

There's a lot of music in the Black Mesa soundtrack that I don't especially love, (as a rule I'm not a huge fan of super high energy/noisy/aggressive music, and there's a lot of that in there,) but damn if there isn't also some really really lovely piano in there! Not this one. Although this one is also very lovely.

Checking In - Lena Raine, Celeste soundtrack

Tbh not my favorite of the Celeste soundtrack, but the whole soundtrack's fucking excellent, so it's a high bar!

Équinoxe - C418, Minecraft soundtrack

Chrysopoeia - Lena Raine, Minecraft Nether Update soundtrack

Aaaaaand back to Minecraft lol. At least got one of Lena Raine's really really gorgeous nether tracks in there!

Tagging specific people is a bit more than my brain can handle right now, so this is an implicit @ every single one of my mutuals! Have fun y'all!