#things done. Huge audience for that on here I AM SURE)

[prolibytherium]

My biggest character flaw is I get these huge ambitious ideas for projects with no commitment levels to match. So I maybe start them but then if it's not something I can finish in a week I almost certainly just never do

[nanowrimo]

5 Tips for Building a Sustainable Writing Practice

Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. First Draft Pro, a 2023 Camp NaNoWriMo sponsor, is a great writing app—whether you’re writing solo or with a co-author. Here are a few tips for building a sustainable writing practice, brought to you by author Ariana Brown and First Draft Pro.

We’ve all heard the advice to “write every day,” as if it were that easy! Translation: suck it up, no one cares if you’re tired. But what if there was another way to get writing done, without being unkind to yourself? 

Hi, I’m Ariana Brown, and I teach writers how to create a writing practice that is sustainable, flexible, and fulfilling. Most of my students are chronically ill, disabled, neurodivergent, or simply exhausted from the daily stresses of life. I know writing isn’t your only responsibility—capitalism makes sure of that! But I strongly believe that writing should be an enjoyable activity you look forward to.

Below I’ve compiled my top tips for exhausted writers who want to be kinder to themselves—and still get the work done.

1. Add pleasure to your writing routine.

Sensory pleasures are neither frivolous nor are they only for children. They’re a crucial part of being alive! They give us something to look forward to when times are tough and we need motivation. Candles, soft blankets, cold beverages, mood lighting, dance breaks, yummy treats—whatever you choose, make sure it’s something you love. Paint your nails a fun color so you have something beautiful to look at while you’re typing away. Make a playlist of your favorite songs and after you finish a chapter, blast one song so loudly you have to get up and dance. Then, get back to writing. Remember, even for the most focused among us, pleasure is a better motivator than shame.

2. Be clear about your intentions.

What brought you to writing in the first place? For some, it was the ability to escape into our imaginations. For others, it was the chance to finally express what we’d been holding inside. Identify your reason for writing, then ask yourself: Am I still enjoying this? Do I still feel connected to my reason for writing? If not, explore how you can strengthen your connection to your inner child’s reason for writing. 

3. Work with your brain, not against it.

If we know that everyone’s brain works differently, why do we force strict discipline and linear processes on ourselves? My advice: find or create a writing process that works for you. Maybe you love outlines; maybe you prefer to see where the words take you. Either way, make space for wandering, play, and discovery as you write. Take brain breaks. Doodle, map, dance, and draw when you get distracted. Body double with other writers, try new exercises and prompts to make the writing sing, and take plenty of breaks to stretch your body and talk to friends. We come to writing with our whole selves. Listen to your body, don’t shut it off.

4. Find a writing community.

You don’t have to wait for a community to come to you! I offer co-writing sessions on Zoom four times a month for my Patreon supporters, but do what works for you. Attend local open mics as an audience member and cheer on your peers. Invite your best friends to your living room once a month for a two hour writing/crafting session. Or check your local library and bookstores for free workshops and author events. You don’t have to do this work alone.

5. Develop a gratitude practice.

Finishing your draft is a huge accomplishment, but it’s not the only milestone to be celebrated. Consider creating opportunities to thank yourself throughout your writing practice. You’re doing an amazing and difficult thing. The fact that you keep showing up is worthy of celebration. Whether you decide to journal, rest, pray, meditate, or reward yourself, a little gratitude goes a long way.

Ariana Brown is a queer writer from San Antonio, TX, based in Houston. She is the author of We Are Owed (Grieveland, 2021) and Sana Sana (Game Over Books, 2020), and a national collegiate poetry slam champion. Ariana holds an MFA in Poetry, MS in Library and Information Science, and a BA in African Diaspora Studies and Mexican American Studies. She has been writing, teaching, and performing for over a decade. Follow her online @ArianaThePoet and www.arianabrown.com. 

[hypermania]

transcript of the full thread:

"A very long thread: To the League fans, We found out this news along with you on Friday. I see the pain and anger and worry out there, which for the LGBTQIA+ fans of the show is of course compounded by what’s happening across the country right now. #ALeagueOfTheirOwn

So the first and most important thing to say is: Before anything, before you fight for the show or each other, please take care of yourselves. Reach out to your community and ask for help if you need it. You aren’t alone. Please be kind to yourselves.

As I’ve been thinking about what’s happened, I come back to a quote from Penny Marshall’s film: “The hard is what makes it great.” Making this show is so hard and so great. There’s quite a bit to say about what’s been hard, but at this point that’s in the past.

Of course, if we have an avenue to do it well, we will continue the show, and I love seeing the noise you’re making in support of that. The noise matters!

And it’s hard for me to imagine there wouldn’t be a home for a show that thanks to you was in the Nielsen Top 10 for three weeks, was the top show on Amazon for a month and in the top five for six, that was recognized by critics as something special, that’s been recognized…

…with awards from GLAAD, HRC and a million other organizations, that was on a million year-end top ten lists, and that has a built in and deeply passionate audience.

Amazon is pursuing different kinds of programming, but to the rest of the world this show is a hit and has huge value and even greater potential. But first things first, we have to win this strike and get a fair deal before we can explore what comes next.

But for a moment, I want to talk about what happens if the world didn’t quite change quickly enough for you to have all the seasons of this show that we want to give you.

If we don’t find a good path forward, I will still know that League did what it came here to do and, in its own small way, changed the world.

And that’s because of all of you, and the light you continue to shine on the show — How you let it matter to you, how you let it become a mirror, how you let it change you.

I’ve never experienced a response to a show that’s as deep, personal, creative and meaningful as what the fans have done with League. When we were making the season 1, we all wondered and worried about whether people would accept it on its own terms next to the film.

They have, and you did that, and so much more. You lit up the internet on your first watch throughs of the show, when you realized where it was going (and made all of us laugh in the process).

You wrote enough fan fiction for 100 novels and created an outpouring of art and creativity that could fill its own museum — I’ve truly never seen anything like it.

You lifted up a 95 year old who had just come out of the closet and made her into a celebrity who gets recognized wherever she goes. Every time any member of the cast appears at anything, you turn it into a convention.

You stop Abbi wherever she goes, and though I’m a happily inconspicuous person, and you constantly find me and stop me and give me gifts that now have a shelf in my house.

When thousands of you appeared to see D’Arcy at the stage door of The Thanksgiving Play over its run, you turned it into the hottest queer bar in New York. You made Max’s suit and Chante’s beautiful performance into a movement.

A mob of you went to Pittsburgh and saw all of our locations. You dressed as the characters and made our characters into one of the biggest halloween costumes of last year.

You came out, you changed pronouns, you started living more openly, you gave sermons in church about the show, you opened bars, and you got a truly mind boggling number of tattoos that say “to the five” and “rob the bank.” What else am I forgetting? I'm sure you'll remind me.

But most importantly, you made a community, you found each other and found joy, which of course is what the show is about. In many more ways than I would ever have let myself imagine while we were making it, you literally bring the show to life every day.

Thank you for making our work mean something bigger. We’ve heard from so many different kinds of people around the world who are watching League.

But, in a time when all queer people are personally and politically under attack across the country and HRC has declared a “state of emergency,” my biggest fear is that the many queer fans of League will take this reversal as one more invalidation, one more blow, one more…

…effect of the general politicization of our identities. Most of us grew up feeling invisible, and as we gain strength, the predictable backlash forces are trying their hardest to get us to go back underground.

In case anyone needs to hear it: You are not small, niche, modest, off-putting or marginal, and neither are your stories. You are multitudes, you are building, and your stories are universal. You are the most rapidly growing audience and consumer group in this country.

You are powerful. You are the future, and the people who don’t recognize your importance now will feel be clamoring to catch up in a few years. As Chante said so beautifully when we received the Human Right Campaign Visionary award, you are the main characters. Be proud.

Be angry if you that’s how you feel, but know that we are going to win, and don’t ever let this moment or any other make you small. The biggest lesson of the characters in this show is that, in a world that had no space for them at all, they LIVED. (Continued)

They found love, they did the things they loved, they won. You’re doing the same thing, and just like them, you are heroes. We are still fighting for League. But whether we win or lose this one, I’m so proud.

From the time when we began working on the season, Abbi, Deta and I said to each other — Let’s not hold anything back, for as long as we get to be here, let’s do this the right way.

We got so many notes wondering if the exploration of the queer world of the 1940s or Max’s world would be better saved for season 2, if people needed to start somewhere a little more familiar. I’m so glad we didn’t listen, cause now I’m sitting here without any regrets.

And no matter what happens, the people behind League aren’t going anywhere. Give us a minute, we will be back with more for you to watch and read and feel. We’re going to win.

And you’re not going anywhere either, because what you’ve built and what you are is bigger than this show. It’s the story of our community, that comes to us through the hidden history that League shows just one small part of: The bars got raided and shut down.

But the people didn’t go anywhere, and they opened a new bar, and out of those spaces came music, cinema, dance, culture — What we now see as mainstream was birthed from the spaces our predecessors were forced to hide in. They made joy there."

[dailydragon08]

hi! if it's ok I'd love to request a scenario for the star wars gang please :) I'd love to see how they all react to a genderfluid s/o (if you have any questions plz dm me :D)

thank you!

Thanks so much for the ask! Sorry this took so long, I was on a bit of a semi-hiatus, but am back now and working on the other asks in my box! Also, thank you to @kaleidoscope1967eyes for some of the suggestions in here!

I think everyone would kind of be in the realm of similar reactions here, but with a few small differences. Everyone is very accepting about you being gender fluid and doesn’t make a huge deal of it, but are very protective of you in different ways. Eventually, they all get a knack for being able to tell whether you’re leaning more masc, fem, or somewhere in between for the day just by your clothes and hairstyle and will adjust pronouns accordingly if necessary.

Growing up as royalty and a major player in both the imperial senate and the New Republic, Leia is always on top of the latest fashions (which I wish they explored more in other media, but I digress). I think she’d be so interested in helping you adapt different clothing and hairstyles to how you were feeling that particular day and loves finding an outfit that either matches or sort of rhymes what you’re wearing to any events—or even just day-to-day wear. Being royalty and a politician, she’s traveled a lot, so this isn’t a new concept to her at all, and she thanks you for telling her with a warm smile and shoulder squeeze before getting down to business for the day. She’s very adamant that you not only have all the gender-affirming things you need day to day, but also that your preferred pronouns are written correctly in all official documents.

And if someone tries to misgender you or discriminate against you in any way whatsoever, Leia will give them the biggest dressing down of their life – no matter the time, place, or audience – and make sure they know to never pull anything like that ever again. By the time she’s done, they’re standing there like a chastised, guilty toddler as they apologize to you. If she had to, Leia would glare down and lecture the entire senate until they not only got it right, but didn’t even think about forgetting or getting it wrong ever again.

Luke is very accepting and wants you to feel safe and welcome with him above all else. He would make sure to give you a soft smile and thank you for telling him before opening up a discussion to make sure he was doing everything he could to support you and learn how he could improve. He does research on his own as well and if you’re also Force-sensitive, he will get you as many custom-made Jedi robes as you want so you have options for whatever you’re feeling day to day. He checks in with you frequently, both verbally and through the Force, to make sure you’re feeling okay and check if you’re using different pronouns from the day before. If you’re comfortable, he starts doing a daily check in via telepathic connection each morning so that even if you don’t have time to talk or are several rooms away, he’s still well informed.

The way he defends you differs a bit from his sister. If someone misgenders you or makes any sort of unnecessary comment, he’ll immediately interrupt and correct them. His face and tone stay as calm and serene as ever thanks to his Jedi training, but you can feel the irritation flowing off of him if it’s anything more than an innocent mistake. If this person continues with their behavior, he’ll correct them again and ask them to be respectful and make it clear in no uncertain terms that he sees any disrespect to you as disrespect to him and that the two of you will be walking away until they can conduct themselves better. Afterwards, he’s checking in on you and apologizing for the experience so gently and doing whatever it takes to make you feel better.

Han being Han of course makes some harmless, playful remark the first time your style drastically changes in front of him. But once you explain you’re gender fluid, he takes it in stride with a “good to know; so what are we doing for lunch?” He tends to be more observant than people give him credit for – especially with those he cares about – and although he gets good at knowing what you’re feeling that day with a glance, still decides to make a “Gender of the Day” game. Traveling around on the Falcon with him puts you in constant proximity and you find yourself stealing his shirts and jackets quite often on more masc-leaning days (which never hesitates to pull a cocky compliment or pickup line from him).

Anyone who dares to make a snide comment gets Captain Solo in full force, with a low “listen here, pal” as he leans across the table and makes sure they know if it happens again, they’ll not only have an angry sharpshooter on their hands, but also a pissed off Wookiee.

To follow up, Chewie (platonic) also is immediately accepting and although you can’t understand his language, you overhear Han keeping him up to date with your pronouns every day. Eventually, you learn from C-3PO’s translation that Chewie goes out of his way to ask someone in the OT gang every morning (and sometimes directly comes to you with the protocol droid’s help) just to make sure he’s got it right. He’s more than happy to help Han defend you as well and even when it’s just the two of you, he gives an ominous growl as he stands up to his full seven feet if anyone gives you trouble.

Similar to Leia, Lando is also well-traveled and an avid lover of fashion. This isn’t a new concept to him at all and in fact, when the two of you meet, he’s already asking what your preferred pronouns are. Like the princess, he’s also always elated to help you adapt your fashion choices and has many things custom-made for you – you can hardly say you like something or wish an aspect of a piece of clothing was a little different before he’s already buying it or having his tailors work on it. He even gifts you some articles of clothing that are a two (or even three!) in one via folding a flap a certain way, zipping something, etc. so that one shirt or pair of pants can double as either more masc, fem, or in between.

He's extremely protective of you, no matter who is giving you problems, and will always insert himself between you and the perpetrator with a hey before correcting them in a tone that leaves no room for argument. Especially with his higher rank in the rebellion, he can easily have someone removed from the room if needed and if Chewie’s nearby, employs the Wookiee’s help as well.

R2-D2 (platonic) chirps and beeps while wobbling on his outer legs to let you know he understands and is more than happy to support you. Although you can’t typically understand his noises, he still will sneakily change code in official documents or computer systems to reflect correct pronouns and if someone’s giving you a hard time, he’ll use one of his little retractable arms to give them a little shock.

C-3PO (platonic) of course is aware of gender fluidity, but has never met someone like you – at least, not that he remembers before his memory was wiped. Ever since then, he’s been glued either to Leia or Luke’s side, so hasn’t had a chance to experience much outside of the chaotic workload the rebellion usually requires. But he’s so interested and excited to ask you questions if you’ll allow, but also makes sure to educate himself on his own. You have to hold back your laughter sometimes when he excitedly comes to you about some new piece of information he found as if you didn’t know it yourself – but of course, halfway through his excited ramble, he remembers who he’s talking to and goes “oh, I’m so terribly sorry” before offering to help you in any way he can, always interrupting and correcting people when needed, and if they don’t back down, telling them point blank “well, I think you’re rather rude.”

~~

Taglist: @kaleidoscope1967eyes @masterlukessaber @coffeeorsomething-irl @eveningserenityyy @victorian-nymph @lxstfathier @rogue-kenobi @lavandula-ipsum @sonofthedunes @pomplalamoose @lex-the-flex @ilovemarkhamill

[1slightly-mad1]

This is gonna be a long one so bear with me…

Emerging once again with some more fun stuff! I attended Megacon this past weekend on Saturday and Sunday and did some pretty awesome stuff. First off I met Daniel Logan (played Boba Fett in Attack of the Clones) and he was such a sweetheart to me! I started it off by telling him I apologized in advance for how awkward I am and he said, “That’s okay! I’m awkward too! Just in an extroverted way!” He didn’t even stay behind his table he came around to stand next to me and talk and ended it by saying, “Come here, give me a hug.” And gave me the nicest hug (I always want to hug celebrities I meet but always freeze up and forget to so it was really nice of him to offer it).

Then I went over to his space dad, Temuera Morrison! The line was super long but I had my Lula plush and headphones to get me through it. Unfortunately they had to hurry things along because he had to get to his panel (which worked for me because I wanted to see the panel too) but I did manage to tell him that I think his portrayal of Boba Fett is the coolest, to which he said, “Thank you so much, but really, look at you! You’re much cooler!” And gave me a fist bump (I was wearing a Boba Fett shirt, Boba Fett jacket, Boba Fett backpack, and had Bad Batch pins on my jacket).

Then I went to the panel and met up with my friend to go meet Dee Bradley Baker afterward and we got super lucky because he was on a break so there was a very very short line to see him. We both walked up together and got Bad Batch prints and he used his Tech voice when signing mine and Wrecker voice when signing theirs. I then really wanted to tell him how much all of the Bad Batch mean to me because I’m an odd one out, but the one I really feel connected with it Tech. I told him how much the moment in Season 2 Epsiode 9 between Tech and Omega meant to me and how it made me feel seen and while explaining to him he continued using his Tech voice and then told me, “You’re not alone out there.” And that pretty much wrapped up Saturday.

Starting Sunday off early of me practically running to catch the Clone Wars panel (and accidentally making my friend think it was a different panel that they really wanted to see) and we got a free print! (I’ll show off my haul in a different post) During the panel, Dee Bradley Baker was asked who his personal favorite clone is and he talked about how much he likes the Bad Batch because they’re the odd ones out, much like him. Then someone asked the cast what their favorite mental health moment in Star Wars is and Dee Bradley Baker brought up the exact moment I told him about the previous day and talked about how he’s had people come up to him to tell him that that moment made them felt seen (I have a video of it that I’ll post as well). Once he started talking about it I was tearing up something awful (which was bad because I had done my makeup up a bit more than usual). The whole panel was so happy and meaningful, I think several tears were shed among the audience at some points. However, the main event of the day was yet to come.

I was going to meet the man who started this all, who started my social media presence in Tumblr and opened up a whole new experience for me. I, after 12 years of being a huge fan, was going to meet Tom Hiddleston. Unfortunately, the people in charge of keeping his autographs and photo ops coordinated gave me severe run arounds. I was told several different things, so luckily I covered my bases on all ends to finally make sure that I was going to the right spot at the right time. He had a panel at the end of the day right before the last batch of autographs (which I was part of) and my friend had a ticket to it (it was prepaid and I didn’t want to spend a fuck ton more) so we both went over to the area of the panel and autograph together at 3:00 PM. My ticket for the autograph was 5:45. After some extra run arounds I finally figured out where I was supposed to be and met someone who talked with me the whole time we were in waiting. For the general admission line, I was second in line.

Then comes time for the panel to start, and it gets delayed by an hour and 20 minutes (because Megacon couldn’t coordinate things properly, surprise surprise). The panel started 5 minutes after my autograph ticket said that I was meant to be at the autograph room. I was lucky to be sitting with someone who talked with me the whole time because we were both in line for 4 hours. 7:00 PM rolls around and we’re finally getting ready to go into the room, and I already know that they’re going to keep everyone’s interaction brief because the rest of the convention closed at 5:00 PM.

As we walked in I could see him and I went dead silent because I’ve never seen him in person before. I brought my Lula plush with me again for Sunday and I don’t think I’ve held onto something tighter in my life. Then I heard him talk and I was absolutely stunned. When I say this man is so soft spoken and just has such a calming energy about him, I mean it. And he’s so pretty in person, I couldn’t believe it. The person I talked with in the line was the first person in line for general admission and was wearing Slytherin robes. She started to cry and was covering half her face with her sleeve and he looked up from the print he was signing for her and said, “I can see you.” In a joking way to make her laugh. Then it was my turn and at this point I probably looked like a scared toddler clutching their plushie against them. I luckily found words and it went something like, “I’ve been a fan of you since I was 12 and I’m 25 now and your work means a lot to me and Loki is my favorite and I think you’re great I’m sorry I’m just super starstruck” (said very quickly with no breaks). I didn’t even say hi, I just started with that. His smile was so sweet and he was so kind even though they had him keep everything brief and before I walked away I told him, “Thank you so much for being here” and he stopped the interaction with the next person in line to smile at me and say, “No, thank you for being here.” I was barely holding it together now and I walked out of the room like everything was fine.

Then my friends and I stopped outside of the room to talk and dry off my autograph and they were telling me how good I did. Well, I wasn’t speaking much and my hand was trembling. My close friend immediately noticed what was about to happen and hugged me, and I hugged them back and that’s when the tears began. I apologize if this part is a little dark for some, but this is what was going through my mind as my friend hugged me. The moment I started crying, I had my eyes closed and I imagined telling younger me, “We did it, we made it.” I had some really down and dark moments in my past between 2012 and now. I’m much better than I have been, but it hit me that I lasted long enough to see the day that I met the man who basically helped me get through some of my dark moments. Tom was such a sweetheart, and super fucking tall might I say. He was sitting down and we were at eye level with each other.

Thus the Megacon weekend concluded, and I do have to say that the coordination of things was… Not great. The celebrities there were absolute sweethearts to everyone, but some of the staff were very rude, some were giving people run arounds, and some were just straight up unhelpful. There were only a handful of staff that actually helped us out and were nice enough to not give an attitude about our questions. I knew that going Saturday and Sunday would be pretty packed, and luckily it wasn’t like last years Megacon event where we literally couldn’t move if we were in the Artist Alley. Outside of the celebrities there and panels that they had, the experience really wasn’t the greatest. This portion is basically just a warning to people, if you go to Megacon Orlando you’re likely not going to have the absolute best experience (unless you pay a fuck ton of money for VIP). Overall, it was a good and bad experience, I’m just happy that I met the people I wanted to meet. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Until next time.

[ao3cassandraic]

When angels overplay

Angels, playing a human role new to them, routinely overplay, in delight at their own cleverness and the sheer fun of roleplay. (Demons mostly don't. Crowley only piles role upon role on Bildad the Shuhite because Aziraphale prods him into helping con the angel posse. Until then, Bildad's basically just some guy -- if a guy who asks some rather foreboding leading questions -- to Job and Sitis. In s1, Hastur la Vista looks awful, but plays his role at Megiddo tolerably well; it's Warlock's child-outing-the-naked-emperor bit rather than any solecisms on his part that mess up his scene.) Angels just can't seem to figure out that sometimes less is more.

Muriel totally overdoes the Human Police Officer schtick -- Mrs. Sandwich clocks them just from a moment's glance at them, and so does Aziraphale -- because Muriel doesn't really know what they're doing so they think the thing to do is MORE OF IT. They kinda even know they don't know, but they have to get the job done so they just soldier (heh) right on. When Aziraphale pretends to buy their disguise, they are visibly thrilled.

Aziraphale totally overdoes the investigative-reporter schtick with the publican in the Resurrectionist. He settles down once he's getting some actual useful information, but the way he tosses around journalist jargon at the start is just as overegged as Muriel's Inspector Constable bit, and it comes from the same place of delight in roleplay.

Aziraphale's West End stage-magician career is also a masterpiece of Overegging It (when he isn't a basket of nerves, anyway). He only gets away with it because stage figures are allowed to be mega-flamboyant.

Here's the fun bit. Y'all ready for the fun bit? Here it is.

This applies to the Metatron too. He overplays his role as Kindly Oh-So-Human Appreciator of Aziraphale.

Oh, he does pretty well, the astute manipulative formerly-human-himself sod. He gets by Nina, no problem. The latte for Aziraphale (miracled or not) is a great gambit. He gets by Crowley, even -- Crowley's huge, huge, HUGE mistake is letting Aziraphale talk to the Metatron alone. (Crowley's contempt for Muriel's overplay, which he extends to angels in general, does him a very bad turn here.)

But then the Metatron says something that ground my brain-gears to a halt on my very first s2 watch. "You’re a leader, you’re honest, you don’t just tell people what they want to hear."

I'm sorry, are we talking about the same angel? The angel Aziraphale? The angel who flatly refuses to lead his troops in s1? The lying liar angel who lies lyingly even to the archangels and God Herself? The angel who when at odds with Heaven's archangels invariably finds a way to tell them what they want to hear, even if he has to convince them they want to hear it?

That angel?

Look, sure, it's meant as flattery, but the thing is, I don't think that is even the kind of angel Aziraphale wants to see himself as. He's not Michael or Uriel or Shax or Furfur, jockeying for empty titles and authority. He knows he's dishonest, and he's actually pretty honest with himself about it -- he confesses his lies to Crowley more than once over the millennia! He goes along to get along because it mostly works for him (and, of course, because he is always, always afraid).

But the Metatron clearly expects Aziraphale to buy this overegged line of utter boardroom-bafflegab bullshit. (Oxshit. Whatever. It's shit.) And the old boy's pretty damn pleased with himself at how well he thinks he's doing; he just oozes self-satisfaction.

I continue to hope Aziraphale doesn't buy it. He doesn't buy it. He does his standard go-along-to-get-along thing until he can get back to the bookshop and try to (codedly, codedly, anxiously, anxiously, the Metatron is still near) ask for Crowley's help.

I'm willing to be wrong about this; it's possible this is a cue to the audience -- rather than to Aziraphale -- that the Metatron isn't to be trusted. I don't think I am wrong, though. I think the Metatron went too far and Aziraphale (who is intelligent) caught it. Or possibly he'll catch it in (deus et Amazon volent) s3 when he's had a moment to consider.

P.S. I love that for all the swirling uncertainty about the details, the fandom has quickly -- and I believe accurately -- settled on the Metatron as the hate-sink string-pulling villain. We also seem to be pretty much agreed that there's one or several cons happening around the s2 ending, though again we're all over the place on the details. It's funny! I love y'all!

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #5

They're so cute...

OH, she set them up!! Here we go!

Wanda making squeaky toy noises when Cosmo hugs her is all I've ever wanted.

"We're real, all right! ... Real fairies. Not real humans."

BUDAWHAAAAAAAA-? Thank you Cosmo for just confirming elastic skin, which has been one of the most important headcanons in my worldbuilding. I did not expect you to do that for me, but... thanks?

Pfft, Wanda changing her legs.

ERG??? Is that you?

Okay, there's that "We've been retired for 10k years" implied time travel bit; I think I remember that from the story bible + early convos with my friends, so at least I came prepared to expect that.

This is either time travel - which plays perfectly into my established "Cosmo ate a time key during dinosaur times and has been running around through time unsupervised for ages" headcanon anyway, LOL - or they're flat-out lying to Hazel, seeing as the audience already knows Timmy is confirmed as a recent godkid, so... Hm.

SLDKFJSD I love how the guy who accidentally sent his baby stroller down a steep hill is wearing a #1 Dad hat. "My expensive stroller! ... I mean, my baby!" - Yeah, we're still in FOP. All the parents are terrible here.

Setting her up as loving french fries and then turning her into a fly who found french fries was clever.

Cosmo once again being so close and yet so far to his mark. Good to see him back!

Me when I return my would-be murderer's daughter, who is a bug.

I AM SO GLAD that even in 10,000 years, Wanda's small talk skills have not improved far beyond "I'm Human McRealPerson" and "My husband is a grilled cheese sandwich" from back in the day, sdlkfj. That's my girl!

oh no, the Venus flytrap gift they brought over is about to go so wrong.

Yep, she's still goin'. Talking about the carwash.

GIRL check your fingers.

OH MY GOSSSSSSH, he's dressed for a classy party in Fairy culture. Cosmorella? We thought you were dead!!

... That's an ant? I would've guessed tick.

It's a guy ant? Buddy, are you sure you're supposed to be foraging?

Let's go!!

SDLKFJSDKLFJSLKJF noooo... No, no, no, no, no... Not the thing I use to symbolize memorials for the dead, c'mon!

It IS an accurate item for a Fairy house- these were all over the place in Fairy World during the old show, AND in that color, though you usually see more than one "wand" per pot.

I'm super impressed the artists studied the old interior design customs. Huh.

Cosmo lives here. Also, BABY!!

OOH, I'm excited that Cosmo and Wanda's window overlooks Fairy World because it's kind of a portal. I did something super similar with a rat cage in an upcoming Frayed Knots scene, where Anti-Cosmo and Wanda are godparenting together during school. Nifty!

He even confirmed it's a spell on the front door! Wow. Somehow, Past Me nailed that.

"We can choose which world we go out into!" -> /Me with my 'fic where Kevin Crocker is confused that Shirley's Pizza Parlor has an exit on the other side that goes to Retroville.

Cosmo: We lived in Timmy's fishbowl for 20 years. Wanda: It was 7.

You are both wrong- it was like 68 <3 But honestly, I forgive you for not wanting to tell Hazel time was frozen for 50 years. I don't think she'd like that. Actually, I don't think she was born yet, because my vision is time freezing at the end of Season 4, and Dale was rescued in Season 2, so... Yeah, she wasn't born. Still, you don't wanna just drop that on someone.

That's actually very funny that Cosmo and Wanda are struggling because they're out of practice during their retirement.

THERE'S THE SIGN!! Way to go.

Oh, and the credits are done in a similar style to the old ones? Even the colors? That's so cute! That's also nice that Hazel's VA was a story editor too- That probably helps with the passion and vision.

That was cute. I liked it. Huge relief to see something well-researched and made with love after "Fairly Odder" was a struggle for me.

I've got a little more time tonight, I might be able to get one more episode done before bedtime.

[astroyongie]

Stray Kids September Reading 2023

Note: please take it lightly

Bangchan

Love: Remember that person he was stalking? Well it seems like Chan has a little competition here, because despite having a huge crush on them he also figured out that this person is already on a relationship which made him very sucky and pouty about the whole thing. 

Career: He has been working a lot lately, I feel like he has been training to the point of exhaustion sometimes simply because there’s new skills that he wants to be perfect in. I have to admit that chan is working a lot and giving a lot of himself at the moment to please the fans and the audience. 

Self: Chan is going through a very creative period, where he has new ideas and new concepts in mind. It feels like he is working a lot on those to make them come out into fruition and be able to express himself in other ways. He is also figuring out new ways of communicating with the fans. 

Minho

Love: There was a huge conflict between him and his partner. I couldn’t figure out the reason why they argued, I just know it was really a big argument to the point where he has been completely ignoring and avoiding them lately. So for now I don’t really know his relationship status. 

Career: I keep believing that Minho isn’t happy in the group partially because there’s a lot of dishonesty within the group but also with the company that keeps seeing them as less than human beings. Minho thinks the company aren’t taking action for the consequences it brings upon the members and himself and that the whole thing is unfair on why some members have the right to certain things while others don’t. 

Self: His self doubts about everything in his life have been blocking him a lot from the potential good things in his life. I believe that this time, Minho is lacking of emotional maturity to deal with the things that upsets him. 

Changbin

Love: This boy is annoying when it comes to love, because once again I am picking up on his self negative thoughts about love, in a way where he believes he doesn’t deserve love. So he restricts himself from being in a relationship despite being in love or having crushes. 

Career: Thankfully he is learning to be more spontaneous and I think he was finally able to get the green light to compose and to write again without having to follow a certain vibe for the group. This honestly makes Changbin happy because he is able to show his colors instead of having to adapt to what “some people” and the company expect them to do. 

Self: He is working a lot of forgiveness, both for people he loved that hurt him and for himself because he knows he hasn’t been easy to deal with either. Changbin is moving on from all the nativity in his life which is very good. 

Hyunjin

Love: His co-dependencies never end and although he knows with his crush it’s over, that doesn’t stop him at the moment from trying to get affection from others in a way to show his crush that he is done with them but at the same time I think Hyunjin is self eluting himself since there’s a lot of inner feelings that he is ignoring. 

Career: He will be probably traveling somewhere soon for his work, but other than that, I see that Hyunjin is living a very fast paced life when it comes to his career. He just keeps going through his schedules without complains. I am a bit worried about this because he doesn’t seem like resting much 

Self: Hyunjin is going through a very dark period of his life in a way that even himself cannot see. From what I see, he doesn’t eat much, does a lot of restriction without even noticing (so if he doesn’t eat It’s not order of the company but him that doesn’t even notice that he isn’t taking care of himself). I see some type of addictions, probably drinking too much but I cannot be sure of this since it could be only related to his shadow self that is very prominent at the moment. Also Hyunjin is like being very hyper sexual too, which could be the reason why I see negative attachments. 

Han

Love: I think Han is on a relationship at the moment that just begun but the not so good side of it is that he already created a emotional dependance on this person the same way he did with his ex. It seems like it’s the only way he has to reassure himself of his relationships. 

Career: He doesn’t trust one bit on his company, at least not with the projects for his solos. Just like Minho, he is bittersweet on certain things and doesn’t understand why there’s always some other members that get to get all the credits

Self: He is working a lot for his career, and it seems like his productivity is the only thing that matter for him at the moment. Han as a strict routine he is following in order to show his company what he is capable of providing for the group musically speaking. 

Felix

Love: This boy is completely lost with his life to be honest, especially when it comes to love. He lacks direction, he doesn’t know what he wants, what he craves, what he needs. And every time it seems like he finds a way to create arguments with the ones he loves without understanding why 

Career: His sponsor isn’t very okay with the few contracts that they made and there’s definitely some delays when it comes to his solo projects. Felix is dependent on the money that is being used and for the moment he hasn’t been reaching nor being able to proceed with the rest of his projects. 

Self: He has been very introverted lately, he doesn’t speak much with people and he is often alone, in his mind trying to work on his self worth and development. I am just scared that he isn’t taking care of his proper needs;

Seungmin

Love: His relationship is going perfectly fine, it’s full of good things and Seungmin and his partner are still able o see each other and having a heathy relaitonshio/ for now everything shows long term success for their love. 

Career: Lately he has created healthy and clear boundaries with the company and his sponsor so things seem to be going rather well for him. Seungmin is happy with his situation, he is able to speak his mind without being afraid and he has become a lot more independent as well. 

Self: At the moment his energy is very strong, because Seungmin is full of ambition. He now knows what he wants for his career, what are his goals and how to access them so he is taking a lot of shadow actions in order to get what he wants. 

I.N

Love: Single, this boy is just living his life and having fun with his friends. I feel like he goes out a lot, he parties with other idols too. He is just a young man enjoying his life as a young adult.  

Career: What the company makes him do isn’t aligned with his personal values and because of that Jeongin has a lot of decisions to make that sometimes overwhelms him. Because he doesn’t like his idol image but at the same time he cannot change it. 

Self: He is expanding as a person, he is working on himself and trying very hard to have overseas opportunities for himself and his career. Jeongin is focused more on himself than the group at the moment. 

[ripplestitchskein]

Sorry for yet another, “Listen guys, it could be so much worse, my fandom related trauma has made me appreciate scraps. My personal bar is literally on the floor” posts but I am genuinely happy with the MHA ending. I get why people are not though. Audiences want finality. They want commitment. They want closure and resolution.

But considering the genre of MHA, the common tropes of the medium, the cultural and capitalistic concerns at play… MHA did a lot. Shonen Jump was never going to go for a canonically queer ship in their biggest property my guys, they just weren’t. So bearing that in mind, that it was never going to be explicit, your alternatives are ambiguity, punishment by the narrative via permanent character death, or canon surprise heterosexuality ala Naruto.

I’m gonna take ambiguous “fic can make this better” endings over permanent character death or like a Deathly Hallows epilogue any day. I’m certainly going to take it over “Yeah they were hella gay the whole time but here is the wife they barely had any interaction with and their 2.5 children that prove they fucked at least once.” Like yeah obviously explicit canon scenes are always gonna be better and more satisfying but the absence of them in any one direction, the ambiguity that is left to individual interpretation, especially in this genre of manga, is honestly a huge win for me personally. That HK went out of his way to not canonize Izuku/Ochako and to highlight Bakugou’s contribution especially and have him be the hand that brings Deku back to being a hero speaks very loudly. HK is not unaware of the popularity of the ship and a creator who has thier hands tied by thier distributor making the decision to not explicitly kill it IS a win. He could have very easily done the “I assure you this fruity little gremlin is straight. Look at his girlfriend! She has huge tits! Yes he sure does love women! Yessiree, ignore all the homoerotic subtext and the like yearning and weird focus on hands, and like being willing to literally die for his also very straight counterpart.”

The move when a content distributor wants to squash a ship is doubling down not “What if we left it kinda vague but heavily implied it?”

And it is such a good ambiguity. Enough detail to world build but not to preclude headcanons. And the fic possibilities jfc.

Like, the angst potential of Izuku thinking he got left behind because Bakugou and everyone else was working to make his dreams a reality will launch a thousand fics. Bakugou working tirelessly to make that dream a reality? Keeping himself away from Izuku to raise himself in the ranks and financially to buy this dream, no distractions but missing his partner. You can feast for years on an 8 year jump with patchy communication. and what comes after, the awkward relearning each other and catching up, the will they won’t they now that they are working together again. Omg.

I’m just saying the “And everyone did a cool thing related to their character arcs but the specifics of their interpersonal relationships is up to you to fill in, The End” finale is loads better than the alternatives imo and really suited the story overall.

[tansyuduri]

Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E10

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. We’re on THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

LETS GO! This one doesnt have the most lore so I am finding little things to cover too. So goosekeeping. In Roman Britain keeping goose domestically was not a big thing. However, by early medieval times, it had very much increased. Merlin stands between these. So keeping geese makes sense. Geese also naturally fatten themselves for winter if left to do so. So are a good choice for a village that doesn't have much to spare in the way of cultivated food.

Now in Feudalism one of the things that was a lord's responsability was basically making sure raiders did not come and do this. Of course, this was done with various degrees of success. Ealdor is a border region and from what we learn. While it is in Cenred's kingdom it does not seem to have a lesser noble of the kingdom ruling over it. It also must be far from Cenred's court. This would leave it far from any protection. Cenred would have more of an interest protecting villages that actually provided him food. (Thus kept up their side of the feudalism deal.) This is later reinforced when it is said they appealed to Cenred (And that their safety is his responsibility) but he cares little for the outlying regions.

Merlin doesn't actually show any lesser nobility that does not live in capital cities. It does however imply they exist. (See Lancelot for more on this) What I find interesting is that Ealdor was not raided before in recent memory. Or at least that it's not mentioned. I wonder if Merlin had anything to do with this.

Funfact "gealdor" in old English means spell or charm or incantation while Ealdor itself means chief, leader, head of family. Prince or king, or Orgin or source. (The last one seems most likely as it is Merlin's place of origin. I cannot find anything about Aecitir Also while Uther is right sending an army over the border would be an act of war. He could VERY likely get away with sending some men as Arthur suggests. ESPECIALLY since there is little likelihood of any of Cenred's soldiers being in the area to know. Its possible if this audience was granted in private he might have risked doing so. And he could have said no and then sent soldiors secretly later BUT this is Uther we are talking about sooooo.

*Screams in not as poor as most commoners Gwen family theory* I feel like I'm kicking a dead horse here but BEING ABLE TO GIVE PEOPLE WEAPONS AND ARMOR IS A BIG DEAL

Morgana: Bring back memories of when I used to beat you

Arthur: That never happened.

So Morgana lost her father at age 10 I have no idea what age Arthur would have been but I'm inclined to believe Morgana and that Arthur made excuses or something. NOW Morgana knows how to fight so I think we need to ask how she was trained? Did Arthur practice with her? Or was she actually trained? From what we see in the show most noblewomen do not know how to fight with swords. So it is not a traditional part of their training in the Merlin world. (The only other noble woman we see using a weapon is Mithian with a crossbow on the hunt and her loving hunting is a rarity by Arthur's reaction.) Medieval woman often used bows on the hunt so this is "normal" There are examples of medieval woman warriors but they are fairly rare. I think Morgana got actual lessons in sword craft from knights and that is was an indulgence of her wanting to learn it by Uther.

OKAY! So they keep chickens too! I'm guessing that they mostly keep them for eggs and perhaps meat very occasionally. Eggs would be a HUGELY valuable source of protein, Along with milk (Merlin mentions there being cows even if we do not see them in this episode) So from what we see, Merlin's diet growing up would have been milk, grains, eggs, and likely some fruits and vegetables as we saw those taken earlier. Perhaps every once in a while some meat.

Confirmation most of the village did not know about Merlin's Secret. I gotta wonder what they thought when Hunith up and sent him seemingly defenseless on the same road we see so many bandits on. Actually Hunith makes her way to Camalot twice on her own though. So Bandaits just ignore peasants if they don't look like they have anything of value on them but if knights and rich people are around attack? I think that's the only explanation for how safe roads in Merlin seem to be for peasants without valuables and how dangerous for LITTERALY everyone else.

Will: why did you Leave?

Merlin: It wasn't what I wanted. My mother was worried. When she found out you knew she was so angry.

Will: I wouldn't have told anyone.

We also know Hunnith said Merlin was at odds with people and Merlin later says you cannot always trust people. (There is also nearly dropping a tree on old man simons with magic.) This entire thing is interesting because Cenred does not hate magic like Uther does. He was fine with Morgouse. So it's quite possible magic is not illegal, or if those rules were in place once Cenred ignored him. Personally I think Hunith was afraid of Cenred taking Merlin and using him as a weapon. Perhaps there would have been a large reward for anyone who discovered a powerful magic user and brought the news to Cenred. This is just a theory of course. She also might have been afraid of someone putting together him being Balinor's son and that information getting out.

Let's take a moment to look at the status of women in the Merlin world. Casual sexism is a thing ("You are such a girl's pedicoat , losing to a girl being bad, Arthur not wanting the woman to fight. ETC) but we sometimes see common women owning land and businesses (Mary's tavern that appears in the Gwaine episode. Alice being a healer.) And the old religion VERY much revered women. However, Female Knights don't seem to be a thing. In fact, As we addressed earlier girls being skilled in battle seems unusual (Though we it in a magic outlaw group once and Isolde. As well as Morgana and Morgouse) and killing them in battle is seen as particularly bad. However, like real medieval woman, they can participate in hunting ETC. They also CAN rule (Gwen, Morgana, Annis) Chastity does not seem as big a deal. Woman can be alone with men without bad comments. And they go where they want without escort. Olaf's behavior toward Vivian is viewed as excessive as well. However, I don't think most noble women have sex before marriage. (Talking about Arthurs's intentions being honorable Uther not trying to bed Katrina until their wedding knight.) While perhaps doing it is not such a big deal (Vivian talking about previous men being chased with knives, Uther urging Arthur to have fun while he can with Sofia) Unsure about commoners. Also I would guess Men inheriting before women is not a thing based on how Morgana is seen as a viable heir to the throne. Also by the size of families we see birth control is readily available. SO A huge improvement on the real middle ages. But casual sexism is still a thing.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Man-Sized

6/9 We Appreciate Power

Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x F!OC

Tags: Explicit content, +18 audiences only. Smut, romantic angst, fluff. An unapologetic LOVE STORY. Sexual tension, mutual pining, banter, flirting, developing relationship, strangers to lovers. Simon Riley has a dark past (partly inspired by Modern Warfare 2: Ghost comics).

CW/TW: References to PTSD, depression, past torture and abuse in later chapters.

Summary: A uni student who pole dances at a strip club to pay her rent encounters a mysterious giant of a soldier seemingly incapable of falling in love.

If one thing was sure with Simon, it was that he was never quite what he seemed.

It turned out that he was in a relationship for the first time since his twenties. He had a whole bunch of protocols, one of them being that he didn't date, didn't do relationships, didn't get attached. He said it was the usual approach in his line of work, but she didn't quite buy it. Other personnel and some of his teammates had partners, even children. She dared to believe that Simon was breaking his rules for her.

Simon was far more invested in people's lives than he would ever have cared to admit. But even if he appeared to harbor a tendency to protect those who could not do it for themselves, he didn't treat her like she was a helpless damsel. She was sure he would, after The Incident and especially after The Revelation, aka trauma dump. But it only felt like he had gotten more evidence of her toughness, her survival skills.

The more she learned about his past, the more she began to realize that he had a soft spot for the weak and suffering. He made no big deal out of it, but in her eyes, he was a hero for having saved his brother from drug addiction and beating his father close to death for everything he had done. Even the Puranic stories knew that demons needed to be punished, not forgiven; it was their only chance for redemption. To her, Simon was Krishna wrestling down Asuras who tormented innocents. He used his father's curse of anger for good.

And he didn't make her decisions for her. She wondered if things with her were much like with Soap: Simon let them both fuck around while he did the backup from a distance.

And another thing was that you never had a dull moment with Simon. Because one lazy Saturday morning, a week before Christmas, a ghost appeared in her hallway.

"Jesus Christ…!"

She had just brushed her teeth, but when she opened the bathroom door she was met with a huge masked man standing only a few feet away, just in front of her front door.

All the remnants of sleep vanished instantly. Her heart stopped beating for a moment, then slammed against her ribs as she saw the faded skull print on the black balaclava.

"Fuck." Her hand had shot to her chest, and she was sure every hair in her body was standing on end. But of course Simon only found the whole situation entertaining.

"Haven't heard that in a while."

He was dressed differently this time, introducing her to the professional soldier who was, even without the load of war gear, intimidating. She knew that he was a tall man, tall and broad, but now he seemed to shrink the entire hallway. The black cargo pants, waterproof jacket, padded, fingerless gloves and military boots could only be described as tactical — he was drenched in black on black on black, but it didn't make him look any smaller, quite the contrary. The dark brown eyes stared at her from under the skull balaclava with brazen mischief. When she finally caught up with her breath, she began to wonder how on earth Simon had even got here.

"Someone might think you're breaking in."

"Technically, I am."

She peeked at the front door behind him and was ready to scold him for breaking the lock, but there was no sign of any vandalism on it whatsoever. How the hell did this man do all this shit?

"Did someone see you?"

He crossed his hands over his chest like he had just been insulted.

"What do you think."

In a normal situation – if there was a thing called normal with Simon – she would be dangling from his neck by now. But he looked so impressive, so imposing and foreign, that she was suddenly shy.

"Ugh… Why do you have to be so, so…"

His eyes narrowed into a smile as she tried to search for the words.

"So you."

"You wanted to learn how to shoot."

Well, the last time they had spoken on the phone, she had asked him to teach her, but he had refused, saying that she would have to go to a range and receive tuition there like the rest of the folk. But it appeared his ego had gotten the best of him.

Because why else would he appear here like this, looking like a kidnapper, burglar and a commando guy, if it weren't to show off and get another reaction out of her?

"Now? It's raining."

The weather outside wasn't exactly inhibiting. It was just another London day where you couldn't tell if it was misty or rainy. And as if he had heard her thoughts, Simon raised his eyebrow and gave her a look that said Are you fucking kidding me?

"You got two minutes to get changed."

It was a command, and her eyes widened from him just ordering her around. Then she got back to her senses and simply obeyed. While combing through her bedroom closets, she figured Simon was being generous for her sake. Two whole minutes…

December this year was far from a winter wonderland: the weeks had been warm, rainy, and grey. But it was still wintertime, the kind of cold and wet that pushed through layers of clothing. She picked the most durable outdoor clothing she owned, paired it with her only merino base layer, then decided to change her underwear too. Into something more lush, something she had bought just for his sake. Just in case things got heated on the way back home or before they went to have a shower together...

As soon as she rushed back and had gotten her shoes on, he picked her up in a fireman's carry and headed to the door.

"Someone might get the wrong idea," she laughed at the pure audacity of this man as she watched his feet swallow the tiled path that led to the street.

"I can live with that."

"Simon, seriously. Someone might call the police."

"That would certainly be interesting."

She was hauled to a colossal car with darkened windows and tires the size of a mini horse — some kind of a preposterous off-road land cruiser she could never in her life afford. If this was his own car or if it was leased through work, she couldn't tell, but it was precisely like Simon: dark, robust and fierce.

He drove safely enough though; calm and collected, like he was driving a family car to a shopping mall. It was such a delightful little detail that she briefly thought that Simon would make a good father.

After about a 40-minute drive off the city, they reached some abandoned gravel pit in the middle of nowhere. The weather had stayed much the same, but the cold she felt came from finding herself in a completely unfamiliar setting.

She waited demurely as he opened the trunk, unloaded a few gun cases, and then picked up a black tactical vest with pouches filled with ammo. She watched with her mouth dry as he swung it on, adjusted the straps, and looked even more massive with that thing. She was given a set of eye and hearing protection, and then the first case was clicked open. It held some sort of rifle.

"I thought we would use a handgun?"

"Not before you've practiced with long barrels."

Practiced…? Just how hard could pistol shooting be?

He gave the gun to her and told her to get used to its weight. She didn't know whether the safety was on or off or if the gun was even loaded, but she pointed it to the ground as Simon went to set up targets a rather long distance away. She ended up strolling around with her shoulders tense, holding the gun like it was an explosive that could go off any minute.

This was just fucking crazy and she felt like a fool… and Simon was marching back, looking like a whole goddamn war movie.

He took the gun from her, adjusted the sight, and showed her how the bolt action worked. She only now saw that the chamber was empty – of course he wouldn't leave her unattended with a loaded firearm – then watched how he grabbed a magazine that looked like a little box and pushed it in the stock with seasoned motions.

"This is a Browning X-Bolt rifle. Good for hunting both deer and people."

She fought the urge to roll her eyes at such hillbilly talk. Simon put the hearing protection on, which was a sign for her to cover her ears as well. He fired only one round to see if everything worked correctly, then gave the gun back to her.

"Remember to squeeze the trigger. Don't yank or pull it."

He then adjusted her stance, which she had briefly tried to imitate from him. He came behind her, and the gun was raised and tucked against her shoulder like she was a child who had to be shown everything by hand. And she guessed she could be compared to an infant when it came to these things.

It was a whole other ordeal to try and memorize everything he said when the hard ridges of his gear pressed against her as he showed her how to hold the rifle. And it certainly wasn't an accident for him to pack his crotch against her too. They hadn't even kissed yet, let alone reveled in the usual, steamy sex that occurred the moment they met after weeks of pining on the phone. He was like the devil himself, pouring that dark, raspy velvet in her ear and knowing perfectly well that he left her aching after every single call. Long distance relationship was a sweet, sweet hell.

"Is that a knife in your pocket?"

She could barely detect the slight tensing of his core as she said it. The shoulders caved in just a little, the hand that was snaked over hers tightened its grip only marginally… So she raised the stakes.

"Or another long barrel?"

"Concentrate."

"It's pretty hard to concentrate with a barrel up my arse."

There was a short silence, and she bit her lip — Simon never let her have the last word, not to talk of teasing him like this without being punished. The hearing protection was lifted just enough for her to catch what he whispered in her ear.

"Should've fucked you before we came 'ere."

Her pussy clenched at that, quite involuntarily, but the dark honey combined with that gruff purr while he was pressed against her was simply too much.

"You would've been all nice 'n' quiet."

Well, it was now obvious that further punishment would ensue after the shooting lesson. Her nipples grew taut, and not from the cold. He gently put the hearing protection back on before taking a few steps back, his warmth leaving her like a cloak she had been deprived of.

She took a deep breath to level her head, then slid her finger on the trigger and braced herself for the kick. It was enough to mess up her aim, but the second time was easier now that she knew what was coming. After the third round, Simon came to show her how to change the empty mag.

"That's it. Good girl."

"For God's sake, Simon, you're not helping."

The third magazine she changed herself, with shaky hands, because shooting had turned out to be both thrilling and nerveracking.

Next up was a submachine gun, during which point she was literally sweating. Everything looked nasty and technical, and she felt like she didn't know shit about anything.

"Ok, now this one you gotta keep steady, or else you'll find yourself shooting at the sky."

He adjusted the grip of her left hand so that instead of cradling the gun in her palm, she bore her thumb over the rail for better control.

"How do I keep it steady?"

"With muscles. I know you got some."

The first few spurts were full of shy stress, but she got used to the feel of it after a while. The first magazine was empty just when she started to have fun. He came to change it, and she did another round, during which Simon gave her curt advice — "don't let the gun control you," "lean into it a bit," "elbows in line," and so on. It was absolutely ridiculous how the clink of bullets on the ground could make her feel like she was Rambo or something. After the third mag, Simon deemed it done, and she almost felt sad to be departed from the gun.

"That went well."

"Yeah. I like this one," she agreed while looking at the black steel like she had just made a new friend.

"You little maniac," he said while giving her an approving once-over. The sexual tension was electrifying, the smell of acrid gunsmoke made her feel exceptionally wild, and she started to understand why people were attracted to these things. She had thought that anyone could fire a gun, but she was wrong. It required practice like any other activity, it demanded both patience and strength.

Some of the expended cartridges had melted the polyester of her jacket in a few spots, one had even burned a tiny hole in the fabric. Simon noticed her surprise as he took the gun to return it to the car.

"Yeah… Burns real nice when they catch some skin. We call them brass kisses."

After the SMG was back in the case, Simon lit a cigarette, and she felt even more timid. Seeing him in this kind of setting, hauling guns around, lifting that mask to have a smoke, dressed like he was going to some special operation, suddenly reversed months of acquaintance. She was out of her element while he was 100 % in it, and the aspects that had made her fall for him were turned up not by a notch but by a stretch.

"Now we get to the pistol. And this ain't no toy. You really gotta pay attention to your form." The cigarette hung from his lips while he emptied the gun, then took a drag like it was just his second nature to fire some shots while having a smoke. The magazine was changed by the same hand that held the empty one like he had done this a thousand times before. Probably because he had.

She would never have thought that this was what she was really into. She had spent years searching for a soulmate in future professors or decent guys who were safe and dull. All of that evaporated into thin air like the smoke from his tobacco.

It felt almost shameful that she found such a stereotypically masculine man not only intriguing but so attractive that she felt weak in the knees. To gawk at the display of muscle and war and dirt and get wet from the smell of gunpowder and his sweat as he came close to show her how the guns worked… It felt like a betrayal. She had always looked down on these people because she had simply thought that wars were stupid and anyone who wanted to be part of such violence was stupid.

But Simon wasn't stupid or simple; he wasn't a jackass with distorted views of honor and ethics. In fact, he was one of the most intelligent, morally sound people she had met. Perhaps a little gloomy and with a twisted sense of humour, but those things only added to his depth. Simon wasn't cannon fodder, nor was he a gun-crazy, trigger-happy recruit who had made reality of most boys' fantasy life. He was a relic of something essentially, fiercely masculine, a man in a world full of boys.

He came to give her another crash course on how to line the sights, take off the slack from the trigger before firing, how to square her stance toward the target. It also seemed that she was gripping every weapon wrong. Whether it was a limp wrist or the wrong spot for grip, he saw it and corrected her on it.

And after firing a few rounds, she understood why they had started with rifles. The pistol shooting was an absolute shitshow. Aiming that small but feisty piece required an extremely delicate yet stern hand.

"See what I mean?" Simon changed another mag for her, and she tried to hide her sulking.

"Yeah. Why would anyone want to use these things?"

"Easier to carry and disguise."

After the second mag was empty, he told her he had been mean and that beginners usually started pistol shooting from 7 yards away. The target she had hit only a handful of times was more than 20 yards away.

"Got one more beauty," he said, went to the car, and came back with a monster. It looked heavy, even in his hands, and for a moment she thought they were about to shoot with a machine gun in the middle of serene countryside.

"What the hell is that…"

"I saved the best for last."

It turned out to be a large caliber rifle with a scope, typically used by snipers — only, this one was larger and more powerful from the usual military use. The silencer at the end of the barrel only increased the outrageous appearance of the weapon.

"Don't look so glum. This should be easy."

She got a nice little setup that included a poly tarp and a tripod for the gun. Shooting prone with a mounted gun gave her the much-needed support, and the scope made her feel that even a person with a Bachelor's degree could do this shit. The recoil didn't scare her this time; she even liked the feel of it when it got absorbed into her body.

"Lookin' good."

And the commentary from the back made her realize that the absorbing thing no doubt meant that more than just her accuracy was on point.

"I'm sure it does," she said mainly to herself while silently happy about Simon unmistakably checking her ass out. The sniper setup was so much fun overall that she asked for extra mags. He only had two, and the session was soon over, and her cheeks were red from both joy and the brisk morning air.

Simon came to crouch beside her, and she turned on the tarpaulin to give him a smile that must've told him just how happy she was. He smiled back with his eyes, which now held a hungry glimmer in them. Yup, he had definitely checked that ass out.

"That's it," he said while removing the protective gear for her.

"Can I join your team now?"

"Sure. You'll make a great mascot."

She fake punched him for that, and he caught her wrist while laughing at her sad tries to pose a threat to someone like him while lying on her back. The next punch was not that playful, even if she was laughing too. It soon turned into a whole wrestling contest until he finally climbed to mount her.

She figured he had bested her and relaxed under the straddle of his thighs, but the greedy look in his eyes only increased.

"C'mon. Fight back a little."

She guessed this was just another need to show off, but she felt reckless enough to indulge him. She caught him slightly off guard by diving an arm around his neck while doing a hip bridge that almost bucked him off to the side, but he quickly drove his other foot to the ground to prevent himself from being toppled.

"You've done Jiu Jitsu?"

"Beginners course, 5 years ago," she answered to the mild surprise in his voice, then tried to push herself out from under him with an escape from the mount that usually worked… at least in a training situation with other beginners. But Simon countered it easily, and she soon found herself being seized in a chokehold from behind while trying to break.

He took her back down with him, even wrapped his legs around hers, performing a perfect rear naked choke on her. She should've known that Simon was adept in martial arts as well.

She was staring at the sky while clutching the steel muscle that forced her to lay her head beside his. It was a pure instinct to reach for his forearm to pull it off, even if he was holding her in place rather than doing an actual choke.

"You're always far more fun than you let on," he whispered in her ear, so close that the fabric pressed on her skin and sent tingles down her spine.

"Glad to be of entertainment even here," she said while trying to maneuver herself out of the choke, to no avail. That bastard even let go with his other hand, quite capable of holding her in place with just one arm while the other began to travel down.

She froze from the heady realization that Simon hadn't spread the tarp just for shooting purposes. It had been laid there for some other action entirely.

The hand forced its way under the waistband of her pants and swept over her underwear, cupped her with no fanfare, just to inspect the state she was in.

"Of course you're wet." The voice was dark, amused, and slightly out of breath as his legs forced her thighs further apart still.

"Of course you're a cock," she said while trying to suppress a moan. Her muscles were already sore, but she didn't want to go back to a warm house, a hot shower, and a soft bed afterward. She wanted him to continue whatever this… exploration was developing into.

He stroked her through the thin fabric she had deliberately chosen to wear today under the all but erotic outdoor apparel, and knew he could feel just how wet she was. All the fight left her, her legs relaxed into the spread they were forced into, and her hips ground against that hand, utterly wanton and shameless. She assumed it was her way of tapping out.

"Fuck…" she cussed the second time today as her head laid back to rest on his shoulder.

"Just say the words and I will."

"I already did."

"Nah… you gotta say it." The grip on her throat tightened a little while he swept a thumb right over the spot that was crying for attention, and her eyes squeezed shut just from the sheer frustration this man aroused in her.

"Please. Just..."

"Yes luv?"

God, he was annoying...

"Fuck me," she submitted like she always did.

"With pleasure." He rolled them both to the side, and she was quite literally manhandled to lie down on her back. She dutifully helped him remove her pants and noticed she wasn't the only one having trouble with restraint. She had never seen a man so enthusiastic about getting her clothes off.

But when he was met with the high-waisted lingerie composed of strings and sheer black lace instead of the plain black knickers she usually wore, there was a pause.

"Fuckin' hell…"

And she could understand the allure of it now: there was something enticing, dizzying, about pale skin covered in nothing but a few thin threads and see-through mesh. Especially when contrasted with a giant male encumbered with magazines of cold metal and dressed in black, rough ripstop. She knew he carried not one, but two knives this time: one on the back of his vest and another strapped to his thigh.

"Don't destroy them, ok?"

He was still looking at the dainty little thing like it was the most fascinating sight he had ever seen. And to think that she had almost left them at the store because it felt foolish and corny to wear something like this just for him to take off.

"Simon? Please."

The dark stare flew briefly to her eyes before darting back to the ridiculous thing that, in her opinion, didn't deserve to be called clothing.

"Since you asked so nicely."

The lace looked even more pitiful in contrast to those reinforced half finger shooting gloves as he reached to take the garment off. The whole scene must've looked like a threatening situation rather than the passionate encounter of two lovers: a giant soldier opening his pants to get his cock out and adjust himself between the legs of a half-naked woman. If anyone from school saw what she was up to this weekend, they would've probably fainted.

And how on earth could it only feel better every single time he slid in?

He did it sluggishly — it was his bravura: to torture her and watch how she gasped and tightened around him. He turned the most basic things into a fantasy, made a simple missionary feel like a holy event.

"Now that's a hungry cunt," he commented with a barely restrained groan. She nearly told him to just shut up for once…but didn't because as always, that talk only made her clamp around him more fiercely.

"Try concentrating on missions with this tight lil' fit on your mind…"

At that, she was speechless, but her fingers curled around the shoulder straps of that stupid tactical vest he wore, the contents of it pressing against her uncomfortably as he slowly filled her. He so rarely rushed, even when the air was filled with so much intensity that there could've been sparks flying from their contact. It was aggravating how patiently he could slide in and out while they were both trembling, while whole worlds were shattering from the insane passion at work here.

Her thighs were already quivering from the stretch and mutual tension and the knowledge that they were doing this in broad daylight under a dull, gray sky, on a tarp that smelled of storage room, gasoline, and lifeless plastic. But even that was nothing compared to the masked man above her. She couldn't feel skin except for the part inside her and the pelvis that brushed her as she so willingly opened up for him after they had fired guns like they were some bloodthirsty, lunatic couple.

And Simon was breaking records every time they met. She felt cold, alive, and so happy that those three words were so close to slipping out this time that it brought her to tears. And he just kept making love to her in this disturbed setting where the sniper rifle was still lying beside them with the safety off, wearing that unbelievable skull print mask that made her want to scream because it was so cringey and hot at the same time.

"Simon," she started, not knowing what she wanted when she already had everything she could ever wish for.

"What can I get ya?" He murmured to her neck, the warm breath hitting her skin through the mask and providing some alleviation to the December cold. The plastic sheet made scrunchy sounds beneath them as he continued to shag her while she was having another breakdown from the love she felt for this man.

"I- Just… a little faster," her whisper rose as a mist in the air as she tried to come up with something other than I love you. He chuffed against her neck in amusement but granted her request, and a few tears escaped.

She was crying while everything was already soaked. The foggy morning and her pussy were equally as wet for Simon to have a nice, refreshing Saturday filled with all the things he enjoyed the most. Her whole body ached, both from the cold and the love.

She nuzzled her way under that mask and finally met precious skin, salty and heavy with the scent she now associated with all things Simon and safety. She kissed his neck like an idol at first, then with more passion, like she was starving for the whole essence of him. He messed up the rhythm of his thrusts for a brief moment, just from that subtle touch of hot breath and wet tongue. And then there came a swallow and a pained sound — almost like a hushed, uneasy sob.

He was suddenly speechless too, there were no commentaries on how good she felt or how well she took him or even that good girl talk. Simon was fucking her on mute for the first time ever, only sighing and grunting as he went. He wouldn't even look at her. But it felt even more sensual, their most sensual fuck yet – that everything just trembled and shuddered and shifted like continental plates.

The build-up was far from hasty and desperate. It grew inside her, layer upon layer of swelling heat and devotion until her whole body went tense. The shaking stopped — but he wouldn't; he completed the job the same way he did everything in life. Confident, meticulous, unwavering.

When she came, he still wouldn't say anything, only hummed against her with a satisfied rumble. It was stupid, how she felt more like a goddess on that tarp than on the bed they usually did this. It felt idiotic how she felt like a goddess at all... But there was no other word really, to describe the sensation of total elevation and surrender that followed from being filled with a man like him. He was supposed to be a simple grunt and turned out to be everything but. He was full of magic, an embodiment of otherworldly power. It made her cry and left her legs shaking.

He allowed himself some mercy only after she had had her pleasure, and the sex became feverish. She dared to roll the mask up just enough to find his lips, and he allowed it, answering her kiss almost violently.

"Fuck I've missed you," he panted in her mouth like it was a confession torn from him by torture, and before she could say anything, he crammed his mouth on hers again. He never showed affection straightforward, and the sudden frankness pierced her heart like a javelin, far heavier than his actual mass bearing down on her.

The love fluttered inside her chest like a painful secret as he prevented her from returning the closeness that bordered on unbearable. He eventually came with a few hearty thrusts and broke the kiss, and the liquified stare behind those half-lidded eyes was a whole nebula of sore adoration. If this was anyone else, she would've deemed that look vulnerable.

He was perfect, and this day was perfect, and she felt a sinking, sweet fear in her stomach from getting everything she wanted and then some more – because it could never, ever last, not in her world of experience. This was simply too good to be true.

His head hung heavy beside hers, then came to rest on the crook between her shoulder and neck like he was in need of a short, cuddly moment. While valiantly supporting himself on his elbows even after the climax, his weight still managed to steal most of the air from her lungs. The magazines, albeit softened by the pouches of that vest, dug into her skin even more painfully. But she didn't care — she even wrapped her legs around him, as far as they would go, to prevent him from ever leaving her. And he didn't withdraw for a good long while. Lately, he wanted to stay inside her for as long as possible, and it was another thing that sent her to the brink of tears.

"That was…" she broke the mist of silence with words and felt him sigh.

"Yeah."

Her hand was halfway under that mask, and she could feel his hot sweat under her palm, the cold British fog licking her fingers. If she would ever catch Alzheimer's when she grew old, this was the memory she would fear losing the most.

"You're one hell of a man, Simon."

"I like you too, Sarah," he chuckled, but she could hear it… The word 'like' had started out as something else, and he corrected it just before it curved to love. The heavy accent made it roll off his tongue like it was just his usual manner of speaking, but it was there.

And if that wasn't evidence enough, he was abruptly tense, having realized he had almost made a mistake. And why would it be a mistake? Because it would've been mortifying to be the first to say it?

She looked at the heavy sky above them and smiled. Insufferable man… he was bold and fearless and hardy but turned into a stubbornly proud man with these kinds of things.

She opened her mouth to be the one with more balls, but he got off her, and the moment was lost somewhere in the folds of that tarp. Her cowboy looked at her with warm, sleepy eyes.

"You look like shit."

In his language, and said with such overly puffed up affection, it meant gorgeous, or magnificent, or beautiful. She could hear in his voice that he was inwardly beaming — like he was looking at a mess he was proud to have wrecked.

"Gotta clean you up when we get back," he chimed, no doubt eager about getting to run his hands all over her slick soapy body after first making a dirty mess of her.

"Enjoying this a little too much, don't you think?"

"Not nearly enough. Put some clothes on before I attack you again."

He was gentleman enough to help her back into her clothed and shoes, laughing when dressing her turned into yet another contest and they nearly stumbled on the tarp all over again. The elegant material of her freshly bought underwear didn't stand a chance against the cum that seeped out of her in a sudden rush. She was definitely in need of a shower.

The trip back was mostly filled with a satisfied silence as a few rays of sun broke from the clouds to shine through the windscreen. It was still early, the day had just begun. They would probably spend the rest of it, hopefully, the whole weekend, at her place — doing good food and sharing silly stories from work and school, sleeping late and misbehaving like two hormone driven teenagers.

"I got you something," Simon spoke when they were nearing the city, offering some sort of a short bladed knife. It had a t-shaped handle, and she intuitively wrapped her fingers around it so that the blade was protruding from between her knuckles as she drew it from the hard nylon fiber sheath.

"Looks… vile," she said while apparently holding it right since Simon didn't correct her on it.

"Push dagger. Very handy in close combat. Would ease my nerves to know you have it when you're, ah…"

"At work?"

"Especially there."

She felt like a psycho when a smile crept up her face from handling such a cruel-looking knife supposedly meant for punching people in the gut or neck.

"Is this legal?"

"Not in the UK."

"Right." Her nerves would not be eased by the knowledge that she was carrying an illegal weapon with her. But she already knew there was no two ways about it. How many times had she walked home from the club in an anxious sweat? And when did all that dread become normal? His gift was actually delightful.

"I can leave you that Glock too. Just keep it somewhere out of sight until we get you a license. It's for emergencies."

She thought about commenting on using it accidentally on a certain guy who had broken into her house this very morning, but then again, she knew she couldn't kill a man like Simon in a million years.

"Sure. Thanks."

Other guys had bought her books and manicures as a gift, taken her to the movies. Someone had even bought her a large TV as a birthday present. Mainly to watch football from it himself.

But Simon… Simon gave her a vicious looking knife and a pistol to protect herself with and fucked her under the sky after teaching her how to shoot with different firearms.

"Look at you all smiles," he observed her with remnants of sultry smoke still coating his voice. She realized she was watching the road with a silly grin on her face.

"You had fun today?"

He tried to appear distant and thick-skinned, but ended up taking care of her safety, went to great lengths to find out what she liked, and always made sure she was pleased. If she had known who she was dealing with from the start, she would've been more polite. But then again, it appeared her nerve was what had caught his interest in the first place.

"Yeah. And I got a lot of presents... Guess I have been a good girl after all."

"Hm. That you have."

The sun shone so brightly that she had to squint her eyes. It was the perfect moment for giving him a gift as well.

"I got something for you too." She reached for the gift that wasn't even wrapped, because she hadn't planned it to go this way, but it was of no importance right now.

Simon remained as solid as always, but the pale eyelashes fluttered in the bright morning light when he saw that she was holding the key to her apartment between them.

"So you don't have to break in."

It wasn't much, it wasn't a massage or a gift card or anything like that. He didn't exactly need it. But it was symbolic, and he accepted it with a solemn, courteous nod that meant more to her than any appreciative words or overly expressed gratitude. He was speechless for the second time today, meaning that his feelings had gotten the best of him.

[buckera]

This has been on my mind (obviously with everything that's been happening) and I'm curious if I'm alone in it. Do you sometimes think maybe they missed the window with buddie? That it should have happened in season 4 and maybe now they're trying to tell us it's too late? They keep digging the hole deeper for eddie, with shannon being the "the love of his life" he'll never get over and I just wonder if it'll ever make sense again in a way that's not a "consolation" because that would be unfair

so much to unpack here and I doubt you'll like my answer but I'm behind on asks anyway so why the hell not.

so here's the thing.

I am so SO happy that they didn't do buddie in season 4. a rushed season affected by covid with literally one episode lead-up? if we lean into the idea that the shooting/will arc was supposed to be that, that is.

(but mind you that has never been said or confirmed, they floated a bi Buck storyline that got shut down, at which stage we don't even know, could possibly have been before even having a script written for it and way before they even came up with the shooting arc itself.)

but if we lean into that then I would've found it lackluster, personally. I know not everyone holds the same opinions and that's totally fine.

but having two characters who have previously only ever dated and talked about women* suddenly kiss and start dating, without coming out, self-realisation, any other preamble aside from "you almost died/I almost died" which isn't exactly a new predicament for either of these characters...

(*in Buck's case the bi crumbs were huge and I always felt that it could've been a pretty natural progression if they just let us know that actually, Buck was out this whole time it just didn't come up on screen lmao but in all seriousness from a general audience standpoint? having both of them suddenly be together? even though, we had a lot of subtext, I just doubt it would've worked as well as it could work now.)

I mean sure, it might've been just the start and then they could've done a bit more background work for it in season 5, but even if Fox didn't shut it down (again, just a simple bi Buck storyline, not even two main characters on the show suddenly being in a queer relationship or leading up to it at the very least) the risk of not getting renewed for season 5 would've been higher than ever, so for them to leave it hanging at the end of the season would've been unlikely imo.

just to reiterate before moving on: all of the above is based on speculation and what ifs.

and about buddie in this current climate, well... I talked about this extensively so just to keep it short; though I'm more than content if not, I still believe that buddie will become canon eventually.

and ngl I find it kinda frustrating how little faith some of you have in the writing of the show when this season proved more than anything that they are finally back on focusing on the characters and actually have ideas about where to take them instead of having every single one of them running around in circles.

sure, some of the storylines are more than bonkers, but this is 911 and that trend started in season 1, so if you don't like that, then maybe this isn't the show for you. because this season with all the insanity and heartbreak was and is so far, quintessential 911.

both Buck and Eddie are well established, complex characters and they deserve to be taken on a narrative journey separately and together if buddie should happen. yeah, clearly neither character is in a place right now, but what's the rush?

we have at least one more full season ahead of us, that could be more than enough time to take them there.

and I know that anytime I say this there are at least ten people in the notes saying that we had 6 years of lead-up, so it wouldn't be rushed, but I can't help but disagree.

Eddie still has no idea how to be in a relationship and actually be in it. yeah, sure, he and Buck have been playing house for years, but the fact that neither of them seem to recognise that is a big issue on its own. and Buck, for the first time since Abby, is in a good place romantically. like the ship or not, it's canon that he's more content and happy than ever and everyone around him thinks so too.

now, we don't know how long this relationship will last and if/when it'll end and why. but if Buck got the chance to discover this part of himself without trauma and significant pain, with the people around him being supportive and patient, then I don't want Eddie thrown in there with a halfhearted realisation-to-kiss-or-confession within one episode either.

I have trust that if buddie is about to happen, it'll be handled well and in no way, shape or form would it be a consolation prize — especially because Tim is no longer bending over for the bullying of the fans and just goes by his own rules and only gives as much as he wants to. as he should.

honestly, this whole "gimme and gimme now" attitude is so stupid. and frankly, the notion that a popular queer ship would actually have a real chance to go canon has just relatively recently became a thing and now so many people almost feel entitled to it, which then spoils their experience with what's actually going on as a whole.

if your enjoyment of the show is solely dependent on a ship becoming canon? then maybe watch something else, because you're just setting yourself up for heartache, one way or another.

[utilitycaster]

@rowzeoli replied to your post “@rowzeoli replied to your post “Do you think part...”:

There's a lot to tackle on this so I'll do my best to cover it all! So I totally get where you're coming from and to be fair yes there are some things in old articles that I don't agree with any more in deeming people having done things "first" which is part of the issue of not having a collective historical memory around actual play as it moves so quickly. Most of the issue isn't that readership is down it's that AI and venture capitalism is destroying journalism

​

Hey, sorry for taking a bit to respond; it's been a hectic week and I wanted to give it some thought and time.

I'll start off with the good: I really do, again, appreciate you engaging here, and on the strength of that alone I am going to at least give Rascal's free articles a good solid chance for a while; I have been, admittedly, tarring it with the brush of a lot of frustrations (see below) and I know it's relatively new and still finding its place and should get a bit more of my patience. I also should note that while your article did hit on a lot of the patterns that have turned me - and no small amount of others - off of a lot of AP/TTRPG journalism it is by no means the worst example. The things you credited Burrow's End for are, admittedly, more obscure single-episode events within a huge body of work. Or in other words: there are bylines in the space that make me go "oh this is going to be bad" and yours is not one of them.

With that said: I'm sorry, but Polygon's bias is not a matter of time crunch or lack of funding. There is no way that a time crunch or lack of funding would consistently, over years (this was already word on the street at latest when EXU Calamity came out almost 2 years ago) result in a message of "D20 can do no wrong, and Critical Role rarely does right." If it were throwing out harsh criticism or glowing praise for a wide variety of shows, sure, that seems like it could come from not having a lot of time...but this goes beyond coincidence. It's a reputation that long precedes your entry into the field. As some others in the replies have noted, I might have written the most about it on Tumblr, but it's at this point not an uncommon observation. This also isn't an issue for other publications in a similar "nerd stuff" space - there's plenty of articles on, say, Dicebreaker or Comicbook.com that I don't care for, either because I disagree with the opinion or I think the analysis isn't really worthwhile, but those tend to at least have a mix of positive and critical articles about most shows. When I said you could treat Polygon articles like Madlibs, I meant it. And so I think it's great that you are no longer chasing "groundbreaking", for example, is not a solid ground for an article, but this also is showing me that even relatively new journalists are, very early on, starting with this exact formula. In some ways, that's more damning.

I do also want to add that I'm again, sympathetic to the lack of resources and to coming into a field with passionate and nitpicky fans who have been here for years. Not knowing about a single Critical Role one-shot from 2018 is something that I'd have been much more lenient about if it weren't hitting those repetitive notes of "D20 is great/this thing is groundbreaking/look at the production values." But the other article I posted, also from Polygon but not written by you, is, to be honest, pretty inexcusable. I get there's a lot of lost institutional memory...but either being unaware of, or ignoring the fact that there are a huge number of long-running actual play podcasts that play longform campaigns? That's pretty much on par, in terms of whether your audience trusts you, of the New York Times international news desk not being able to locate Russia on a map (though obviously with far less serious real-world ramifications). (The fact that this was written by a prominent actual play scholar meanwhile is like, I don't know, Neil DeGrasse Tyson not knowing how gravity works, but that's a separate topic).

And again, I get these are your colleagues. I have the luxury of being able to run my mouth without putting my livelihood at stake, and that's not true for people within the industry. I do not expect you to say anything ill about them, nor would I judge any specific individual for getting published in Polygon since I get that people are pitching to a number of sites so that they can get paid! But when I say "Polygon's AP/TTRPG coverage is at needs-a-change-of-leadership levels of bad" I am not alone in this, and it's something that has probably been true for easily 3+ years if not longer. Because it's one of the more prominent publications in the space (ironically, due to Justin McElroy of TAZ being a founder, and the fact that its videogame division is quite good and has had some viral videos, it had enviable name recognition among AP fans that it's only squandered since) it really is at a point where hitting that same formula in any AP journalism - claiming everything is groundbreaking, putting an emphasis on high production values, D20 good and CR bad - makes fans go "oh, more of this bullshit." I don't want to say you can't talk about these things - I definitely do not want to say that you cannot criticize Critical Role - but that specific well is has been poisoned for a long time. If someone hits these points it feels, whether or not it is true, that they're trying to be provocative by going against popular fan opinion, but are simultaneously just saying the same thing we've seen a million times before.

I believe wholeheartedly that from your perspective the competition is AI - and I don't want AI articles either. On the other hand, in terms of what I think fans who are in my position are turning to, it's not AI articles (I'm certainly not). If I want analysis, I'm probably, at this point, going to social media; I am not the only person who writes longform meta or analysis for fun, and I'll seek others who do out. I'm not personally a video essay person, but plenty are, and that's out there too. I'm not going there for reporting on news (I think the Dnd Shorts OGL debacle made it clear that actual journalists are very necessary) but yeah, if I want criticism or analysis? I'm going there instead, especially since there often is that missing institutional memory. If I do want journalism, at this point, some of the bigger shows are getting writeups in less niche publications, particularly Critical Role and D20, as is news of more major tabletop games. It's infrequent and it doesn't highlight indie works, but it tends to be, if nothing else, lacking in major errors or obvious bias. If I want to hear from cast members, at least four of the shows I watch or listen to have regular talkback shows, and Dropout regularly talks to AP/TTRPG figures on Adventuring Academy, and a lot of those shows take viewer questions. Which, again, probably not heartening to hear the competition is even tighter, but I guess my point is I hope it's possible, even with very limited resources, to move away from the above "novelty and production values above all" pattern because even that would do a lot of needed work to rebuild reader trust - and I'm going to be checking out Rascal in the hopes that it can.

[ramcharantitties]

Rangrez

Chapter 4- Prideful Job

Sita's note: I am sorry if this is late and boring- i tried my best. Please have a good read! Also I have posted Raghuvan on Ao3, do check it out <3

Kainat woke up with shock, her chest heaving and body sweating. She felt like Lahore was calling for her. She looked around the room, to realize she was in her own home in Delhi now, no more bound to the golden cage of Heeramandi. As long as it took, Kainat strayed upon a to-let house. It was not as huge as her Shahi Mahal, but she wasn't a tawaif here anymore. Just smaller than her room back in Lahore, she was happy to start a new life with a new family. To march to her goals, away from being part of someone else's lustful fantasies. As much as she hated it, she had to sell some of her precious ornaments to afford the house. She still had the money to use given by Satto bi, but she managed to keep them safe. The first piece of jewelry she sold was a gold chain from what she stole from Rehana. The one thing that was helpful right now, was that the rich quality of these jewelry were going to benefit her. It only took one single chain to get her a house. Upon opening the cloth she tied that jewelry in, Kainat found the keys to Rehana's locker.

Would Rehana notice? She had a bad feeling, as if Shahi Mahal was calling for her. Kainat felt as if Fareedan was calling out for her, as if there was a great trouble in Shahi Mahal. Her hand wrapped around the silver keys, the cold providing her an untold feeling.

Kainat shook her head and got up, it was her first time away from her home and that's why she might be feeling this way. If nawab did go back to Shahi Mahal complaining that Kainat ran away, there would be some searching done for her. Since there was no news yet in Delhi, she was sure she wasn't found yet. Kainat took a deep breath and drank some water. It was pitch black in the night, overlooking the police barracks. Kainat was still very unsure about Ram. What repercussions was he talking about? And who was He to punish her for such repercussions? The only way to accept his behaviour was that he is a paranoid person. Kainat shook her head, settling back in bed.

It only took Kainat one or two stroll in the market to find where the revolutionaries were assembled or having a meeting. The look of being right but sneakily, the fear of being caught protecting the country, it was too much visible in their eyes. The next day, Kainat made to a revolutionary meeting like that. Her face veiled from the world, she was covered in a dark dupatta and a plain suit to blend her in the crowd. She sat in the middle of the audience, where she spotted a few more women.

The meeting hall was a dimly lit, empty space, tucked away in the heart of the city where shadows danced on the walls like silent spectators. The air was thick with anticipation as revolutionaries from all walks of life gathered in unity. Amidst the dimness of the hall, Kainat's spirit burned with the fire of rebellion, pushing her forward with unwavering resolution. With each passing moment, she felt herself drawing nearer to the realization of her dream, her heart swelling with anticipation at the thought of playing a part in shaping the destiny of her nation. "We are the people of the country, and we must be the one responsible for it's better future. The water, the forests and the land is ours, it should be our oath to protect it." A man in sarafa stood ahead, addressing the crowd.

As the high of the meeting reached its peak, voices rose in unison, echoing through the dimly lit hall. The sense of unity among the revolutionaries grew stronger. With a nod of agreement exchanged among the gathered revolutionaries, the meeting concluded, but the flame of revolution continued to burn brightly in their hearts.

Kainat walked out, when she spotted the same leader of the meeting. a flutter in her steps pulled her forward, to meet him; to listen whatever he has to say any further. "-but we need money, we need some resources to make the riot possible".

Her hand reached forward, tapping him on the shoulder. He turned around to see a beautiful young woman, but the madness of independence burning bright in her eyes. "I can help". Kainat knew how to convince men, and she did. Upon their resistance and doubts, she had a firm answer- "I wish to play a role in our fight and I won't back down". Alas, they had to listen, letting her in their plan.

-

It was around four in the evening, when Ram made his way to the police station to enquire something. "I wish to ask something in Lahore police station- it's related to a case". Ram flashed a smile to the old constable, a landline telephone accessible to him.

"Which district?"

"Heeramandi"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tagging: @jkdaddy01 @ramayantika @definitelyhim @starlight-1010 @panikk-attackkk @vijayasena @lilliebeingdelulu @multifandom-boss-bitch @yehsahihai

[mellarkably]

ur so right abt the way that scene between ben and devi was shot because every single moment when we see devi making out with someone (or about to have s*x) is so driven by her “horny side” only, for paxton and des she just wanted to have s*x and get over with it and with ethan she just was on her horny and active rush which is good but the ben/devi scene, yes it was framed with a sense of urgency between them but also so much care and love. the lighting, the touches, the hands, smiling at each other and just everything about it was beautiful.

and call me crazy but i am happy the show didn’t do the typical “devi only has s*x with ben” narrative because i was about sure they wouldn’t have her have s*x with ethan and they did and was surprised because most shows don’t do that. ben and devi lost their virginity together and that’s already special but they didn’t have devi pondering around waiting for ben. she got to experience a little bit of fun and discover her preferences and be comfortable with it (and maybe ben did so too with margot) and then they get to make love to each other and know what it means and the differences in that and now they can start a relationship when there’s some level of experience and they can just explore what they both want.

some shows tend to do the opposite for “romanticism” so i am glad they did not.

OH ANON HOW I LOVE YOU FOR THIS BECAUSE CAN. WE. TALK ABOUT IT!

i already predicted a while ago that the show would have ben and devi make love again but this time it would be much more natural and easy for them:

i agree with you. i think it was important to show benvi's first time as being awkward, and having it pale in comparison to her next time with ethan, who is far more experienced. it allowed devi to have fun (and im assuming its almost certain ben also had sex with margot) while embodying the whole, fun time NOT a long time thing. im sure they both learned a lot about their preferences like you said during those respective relationships.

but going back to what i loved most about 410's sex redo - how it was the ONLY sex scene in the show that wasn't shot like a high school steamy fling type of deal.

of course, there's that big damn kiss that's been building up for four years with more steam needed to be released than pati's rice cooker, BUT, the lighting. the song, the actors' natural chemistry. the tone itself already feels so much more serious than any other romantic scene in the show.

i honestly thought it would end here, so imagine my surprise when they continued - and i think this second part is what sets it apart from all the other intimate scenes in the show.

henna shot. i fucking died. ive talked enough about this on twitter and im sure other people are talking about this but it is just so symbolic for devi as an individual, her relationship with her culture and how she doesn't have to separate that from her romantic endeavours because she is desirable as she is! s1 devi would faint! she absolutely would!

and now this shot, which is what the tags you're referring to were about, has me still going cuckoo bananas like. pulling away to smile at each other. they're literally in fucking love. this is love. this is not the show trying to gain an audience using steamy scenes, or devi being horny - not that there is anything wrong with that either - but she is so visibly content and comfortable and happy and you can see it in her smile. both of their smiles in fact.

that small moment is what makes this scene for me.

anyway sorry for the huge rant. if you couldn't tell already i really love this scene! it was very well done.

[s-creations]

Fluctuates Chapter 2 - Sharing a Meal

One-Shot entries for the #RadioStatic Week 2024.

Yep, I'm doing this again! I'm going to make sure that I can keep track with uploading this time. Also, I will be sticking with the Fluff path, because I need more Fluff with these two.

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Relationships: Alastor/Vox (RadioStatic) Warnings/Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Lots of Fluff because I want it, Rosie will be in this, Probably other characters not sure at the moment.

Roise was not used to having visitors in her small section of Hell. None cannibal types gave a wide berth to the town knowing that they’d be high on the list of being the next meal. Even those who were cannibals weren’t known for being the social type. They tended to keep to themselves so there wouldn’t need to be a share of their hunting spoils. 

The bottom line to reach here is the fact that visitors are not a common situation. More so, surprised visitors. Alastor was the only person outside of the commune that would purposefully appear here. But he also announced his arrival before actually appearing.

So, when Rosie had been informed that someone was there to see them and that it was not Alastor, her curiosity was high. Moving as quickly as she could to her front parlor. 

There was a moment of stunned realization upon seeing Vox. Sitting on the plush velvet red loveseat as he attempted to make himself look relaxed. But unable to hide how unease he felt about being here. 

Straightening out her dress and hat, Rosie walked forward with open arms and a joyous cry of, “Vox! What a wonderful surprise!”

The newly appointed Overlord couldn’t hold back the twitch of built up nervousness being released from Rosie’s arrival. Vox stood quickly to greet Rosie properly with a smile that she knew Alastor had trained him to make. “Hello Rosie, I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

“Nothing that can’t be put off until later. Between you and me, the less paperwork I have to worry about, the happier I am. You’ll be a wonderful distraction!” Rosie laughed while placing a hand on the other’s shoulder. “But enough about me, what are you doing here? I’m assuming it’s something Alastor related?”

“Ah, I hope I’m not that obvious.” 

“Honey, let me be frank. We have nothing in common when it comes to being Overlords. Even if I could help, my tactic wouldn’t work for your building empire. The only point of connection that’s strong enough to bring you here would be Alastor. So, I’m going to assume this is an Alastor related meeting.”

Vox’s shoulders dropped a little. “I mean…yeah.” 

“I knew it! So tell me what’s on that mind of yours?” 

“I was able to make a huge deal for my company that was only created because of Alastor’s connections. I want to celebrate and thank him for what he’s done, and I figured the way to do that would be to make a home cooked meal. Together.”

“Oh, that’s so charming, I love it! I’m confused as to where the problem lies?”

“Because I want to cook a portion that’s specifically sinner meat, because I know Alastor loves it. But I don’t know how to cook! Let alone cook sinner’s meat. Since you’re the only other cannibal that I feel the most comfortable with…and I have less of a chance of being eaten by you, I figured I could ask for help?”

“You bleeding heart. Who says romance is dead in Hell? They clearly haven’t seen you two!” Letting out another laugh, Rosie hooked her arm around one of Vox’s, beaming. “You’ve come to the right place my dear, I’d be more than happy to help. I’ll even let you in on some Alastor secrets. Might prove some use to you.”

“But, let's just focus on getting your cooking skills in check first. We’ll just tackle one thing at a time.” 

__________________________

“Now, we’re going to focus on two dishes. Mainly due to that’s all we have time for and they’re Alastor’s favorite. So we’re just going to cut right to the chase.” 

Vox, now finishing the loose knot tying the apron to him, he followed Rosie’s movements as she collected what they needed. Wincing slightly when she slammed down two pieces of meat from the fridge. “Okay, so, what are we making today?” 

“Thigh and breast.”

“He eats breast?”

Rosie raised a brow as she stared the other demon down. “Mind out of that gutter. This is not in the ‘sexy way’.” 

“Oh, right, sorry.” 

“Now, I would recommend that when you’re planning on cooking these, you get them as fresh as you can. Same day would be best.” 

“Do they go bad easily?”

“It depends on the sinner and how far you’re taking it away from the original source. Once that sinner starts to reform, the meat starts to turn. This tends to be the reason why we will just take straight from the bone as soon as we can. It’s a treat when we can cook.”

“So this will be, like, extra special. Right?”

Rosie tilted her head as she thought about it, offering a wide smile after a bit. “Suppose so! Nothing makes a cannibal happier than knowing that someone went out of their way to not only cook for them, but even hunted.” 

Vox perked up a little more at that, eyes wide with interest. “I’ll impress Alastor?”

“You love sick little puppy, you absolutely will. Speaking of, Alastor prefers his meat cooked in a specific way. Only needs a number of spices to allow a nice zing of flavor without pulling away from what the meat already offers.” 

“Do we use different…everything for each piece?”

“The thigh is a tough cut of meat, we can make a rub that helps tenderize while it cooks. Breaks down the tight muscles. The breast is a fattier piece, so all it will need are spices that compliment the flavor it already produces. Now, I would recommend starting with the thigh as it will take the longest.”

“What about temperature?”

“Will be the same for both. Come over here, don’t be shy! If you’re going to learn, you’ll learn by doing and not listening.”

While he wasn’t the biggest fan of eating sinner meat, Vox apparently didn’t have an issue with working with it. He was fully focused on making sure he listened and retained what Rosie was instructing him to do. Brows furrowed in concentration as he tries to do everything as perfectly as possible. Nervously standing by when Rosie decided to taste test his creation. 

Only able to let out a sigh of relief when he received a nod of approval.

“I think you’ll do just fine.” 

__________________________

Alastor hummed as he walked into the familiar high end apartment complex. Nodding to the front door security and making his way to the elevator. While traveling up, he took one last look at himself to make sure he was put together in the reflective wall. Ears twitching when the familiar ding sounded. 

His interest perked up when the door opened. Sniffing the air as he took in the familiar scents of species. His eagerness didn’t deter him from acting as a gentleman, making sure to knock before entering the private penthouse. 

Alastor found the small dining table practically dressed to the nines, glassware reflecting the light given off by the three prong candle holder. Vox was in the kitchen, his new outfit protected by an apron (that looked very familiar) as he put on the final touches on the meal he’d been cooking. 

Said demon looked up hearing the door open, beaming as he watched Alastor take it all in. “Right on time, as usual. Hope you’re hungry.”

“Ravenous. But my curiosity is winning over at the moment. Did you cook for me?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“Because we’re celebrating you tonight.” 

“But I wouldn’t be in this position if it wasn’t for you. Let me just spoil you for tonight.” 

Alastor laughed as he approached the kitchen, eyes on the dishes. “I suppose I can allow it… Are these- Did you cook sinner meat?”

“Not only did I cook it, I hunted as well.” Vox stated happily, hands on his hips with a smirk on his face. 

“You hunted. For me?”

“Yep! And, uh, I hope you don’t mind, but I made my own portion. Not interested in trying sinner meat. Maybe later! Just can’t get past that initial-” Vox was cut off when he was gently pulled forward. Screen sparking slightly as Alastor’s lips captured his own in a soft kiss. The Media Overlord let out a small hum as he kissed back. 

He held himself back from following Alastor as the other pulled away. Vox instead licked his lips before his smile returned once more. “I’ll take that as you impressed.”

“That’s a very minimal description of my feelings at the moment. I’ll demonstrate my full appreciation for you later.”

Vox swallowed weakly. “I- Uh- Shall we eat?”

“I love that idea.”