#thinking ab those lines all the time this pride month

[oldwizardyaoi]

“you wear fine things well” 🤝 “in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you”

being the most romantic and loving lines i’ve ever heard in my entire life

[cherrygukki]

after last night (m) || two

➸ pairing: rich! ex-fuckboy!jungkook x f. reader ➸ word count: 7k ➸ genres: unrequited love, non-idol au, smut, angst ➸ synopsis: Jungkook finally sees you after several months since your last time together. Surely enough you'll stay with him unlike last night, right? ➸ warnings: possessive!jk, unprotected sex (don't be silly), whiny and vocal jk, boob slapping, mirror sex, doggy style and missionary, rough, manhandling, tons of kissing, dirty talk, uses of "slut" and "whore", praise kink, oral (f), fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, pussy whipped jk, reader grinds on jk's abs, hints of reader being afraid of committing to jk :(( ➸ author's note: i'm finally back after a long hiatus! decided to write another part to this since most of you seemed to like it :) this can be read as a stand-alone, but i suggest reading part one first for more context! feedback will be appreciated as always <3

read after last night (one) here

"Hey, I don't think I'll be able to go out today. My head suddenly hurts and—"

"It's okay. You should get some rest. Bye." You cut your friend off with a sigh before hanging up the 15-second phone call you held with him. At this point, you don't really care whether your voice sounded frustrated on the other line because you are. You've been waiting for more than half an hour at the destination you were supposed to meet, only to receive a lame excuse which clearly translates into him not wanting to spend time with you today.

You exhale another deep sigh once more before standing up from the bench you were sitting on, clueless on where to go after being left in the ditch.

The stranger you were sitting next to can only stare at you in pity when she overheard the conversation you had. After all, you went out of your way to make your appearance look as glamorous as possible in hopes of impressing him, even putting on the effort to wear a high set of stilettos despite the sharp pain knocking on your feet.

And here you are, aimlessly strolling around the mall like a lost puppy. There's no other goal in your mind right now aside from getting home as soon as possible after the sour event you recently experienced.

However, being set up by your crush is unfortunately not the end of your embarrassing saga. It was too late for you when you abruptly heard the heel of one of your stilettos snap in half, causing you to shamefully trip in front of a large crowd.

You silently whimper in agony as you hear the whispers of people around you.

"I got you." You mentally praise the heavens in joy when you see a concerned hand reaching out on your fallen figure. You grab it without hesitation while the kind gentleman slowly guides you back on your feet, ensuring to remove your broken shoes to avoid any more accidents.

You sigh once more, already embarrassed enough that your pride is ripped apart from a mere slip-up.

Looking up, you intend to thank the unknown man for his kindness.

Instead, your gratitude is replaced with shock within the flick of your eyes.

Your mouth hangs agape to see the face of a person you've never seen in weeks — no, months. Your eyes go wide like a deer caught in the headlights, your breath caught in your throat. And yet, you silently stare at him in awe. As much as you hate to admit it, those delicate features that adorn his charming face are still very much prominent. In fact, you even think he became more gorgeous than the last time you saw him. Hence, here you are, appreciating your ex-fling with stars in your eyes.

"Jungkook?" You finally found yourself muttering to him while his firm grip on you doesn't relent.

He merely responds with a boyish grin before carefully examining your body to see if you've received any injuries. "Are you okay?" he softly asks.

You quickly nod, "Yeah."

"I saw you walking around earlier," he states. "I was about to approach you until this..." he trails off to stare at your wrecked heels, "...happened."

For the umpteenth time today, you exhale deeply, having no clue whether you ought to simply walk home barefoot or buy another pair of shoes that'll damage your wallet.

Jungkook seems to have already founded out the thoughts troubling your mind, for he immediately grabs your hand and drags you toward the nearest store he can find.

"I'll buy you a pair," he voices before you can make any refusal. The only thing you can do now is follow Jungkook around and let him treat you for at least today, internally cheering with glee that your telepathic message has conveniently gone over to his end.

You ought to pay him back later.

Although you do intend to purchase merely one pair of shoes, shopping took longer than to your liking.

With your indecisive behavior and his extravagance combined, Jungkook almost insists on obtaining the entire shop at this point from how much you struggled to pick something.

Declining the offer, you settle on with another set of heels to at least match your outfit. While it may not be as comfortable as wearing some sandals, the wedged heels Jungkook gifted you felt certainly better than your previous stilettos, your feet actually feeling secure for once as they were much lower this time.

"Thanks for saving me today," you meekly say as you and Jungkook are wandering through the mall.

"I'm just happy to spend time with you." He replies before giving you another one of his signature smiles that has your heart fluttering for him.

With that, you suddenly remind yourself that you're still indebted to this man. You part your mouth to change the subject, offering him a treat.

"Do you want to eat something together? I'll pay this time."

His eyes widen from your utterance, and he's swift to reject your offer. "No, no! It's fine, really. I just wanted to help you out."

"If you weren't here, I would've gone home looking like an idiot so I really owe you one."

He couldn't help but giggle at your persistence, but he still shakes his head nonetheless. "No, ___. You don't have to spend anything on me. I really am happy to just do anything for you."

You groan in surrender, knowing that a guy like Jungkook is almost impossible to convince otherwise. Rather, it's your turn to grab his arm and lead him to somewhere you like.

"If you're happy to do anything for me, then at least get a coffee with me! I won't mind paying for you, I swear."

"I'm sorry if your day turned out to be quite unexpected," he says.

You quietly sip on your hot latte as you appreciate the view outside the window. Fortunately enough, Jungkook didn't turn down your request to eat at a café with him, albeit he insisted on paying for your orders instead. However, your stubborn self paid for the two of you at the end of your minute-long bicker in front of the barista. Aside from it being out of gratitude, you simply don't want others assuming that you're merely a parasite for his wealth. You humiliated yourself more than enough today.

And thus, you find you and your fling casually conversing over dessert and coffee as if God has replaced the douchebag that was supposed to be with you right now.

You glance over at Jungkook who's also enjoying his meal, staring at him for a fleeting moment before a smile unconsciously spreads on your lips. For once, you're thrilled to see him again after the series of events you had with him during your class reunion. You've done your best to avoid him for months on end, having no such intentions on being further associated with him. Although you do appreciate the kind efforts he's shown you on what you thought was about to be a terrible day, you can't deny that you still have some lingering doubt for him in the pit of your chest.

With that, you finally respond to Jungkook who's been silently staring at you the entire time, "It's okay."

"I forgot to mention that you look beautiful today."

His words only add on to your already flustered state, the way he treats you makes your head giddy as you can sense your heart violently thumping against your chest.

"Thank you," is the only response you can muster up.

He doesn't fail to notice your behavior, chuckling softly for he's pleased that his presence alone still has its effect on you.

"Were you supposed to go out with someone?" he assumes.

A bitter pang hits you at the thought of his question. You scrunch up your face in disappointment before whining. "How did you know?"

He shrugs. "I doubt you wouldn't have a reason to go out looking so pretty like that."

You grumble, although his praises do soothe your mood. You huff, "I had to wait for almost an hour for him only to receive a call saying that he's sick." You pause for a moment before continuing. "He didn't even sound sick when he called!"

Jungkook frowns after finally finding out the reason behind your apparent stress earlier. He couldn't exactly place why you were moping around in the open, but once you confirmed his speculations, something in him snapped.

"Did you like him?" he inquires.

Your ears perk up from his precipitance. You answer him nevertheless, "Well, I did initially plan on asking him out, so I guess so." You shrug.

With that, his eyes darken at your statement, nodding quietly before humming. "I see."

Everything falls silent from then on. The atmosphere between you turned awkward faster than you expected. You nervously sip from your cup although your latte has long been finished, merely finding an excuse to avoid the fierce glare Jungkook is sending your way.

A minute of silence with him is the equivalent of a decade for you. If his staring wasn't enough to already have you squirming around in your seat, then it's the unwanted question you've been dreading to hear from him.

"Why did you just leave after last night?"

And that's where you begin to lose it.

Deep down, you're terribly intimidated at how Jungkook managed to quickly switch up the ambience, but the last thing you wanted was for him to see you waver. You speak, attempting your best to seem unruffled to his eyes.

"I thought last night was only supposed to be a one night stand between us."

All that Jungkook responded with was a heavy sigh, sinking himself further in his seat as he rubs his temple from the pent-up frustration.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you that I had to throw my phone away because I was so mad, ___..." he hisses, "I was so mad that I didn't get your number in time and possibly get to know you better."

You freeze in your spot after hearing his words, shock is written all over your face when you find out what Jungkook has been up to for the past few months you ghosted him, but you don't speak of anything in return, intending to hear the entirety of his story before you make any comments.

At your silence, he took it as a sign to continue rambling. "You wouldn't get out of my head after that night, ___. Day and night, all I can remember is you and your pretty little face," he chuckles bitterly, "I even tried looking your name up but I couldn't find you."

Your eyes lock with his. "I fucking missed you, angel..."

Shock remains all over your body. However, the bubbling doubt in your chest along with the trust issues spurring in your brain are coming into play. You feel like your entire system is crashing down from his mere words and it's definitely messing with you.

"I don't believe you," you protest.

Jungkook smirks mischievously from your response before casually spreading his legs wider on the plush seat. He carefully observes your reactions, and he knows you can't resist him starting at this point.

"Oh trust me, sweetheart. If I still had my phone, I'd call every girl I know and tell them goodbye."

The old pet name he calls you tugs at the strings in your heart, his choice of words having you completely melt right in front of him then and there. He smiles in triumph, acknowledging that you've gone all putty in his hands.

"Believe me when I say that you're the only one I've been thinking about, sweetheart," he sneers, "because I still remember that night when I was splitting you in half with my cock."

You almost cough out loud from his crude statement, his lewdness certainly passing some heat down your core which inevitably causes you to uncomfortably rub your thighs together to relieve the tingling sensation that's fluttering within you.

He immediately sees you squirming underneath the table, his grin growing into that of a Cheshire cat from the tension circulating between you.

How in the world did you get here?

You keep writhing in your seat, all the while trying your best to remain discreet from the public. If someone ever hears the nasty phrases Jungkook is mouthing at you, you're absolutely done for.

Of course, Jungkook chooses to be a menace rather than keeping himself shut to save at least a portion of your dignity. But no, vulgar words fall from those cunning lips like a train, intending to have you soaking your underwear to the brim.

"I bet you always think about how good I made you cum with just my tongue, angel," he snickers, voice turning an octave lower before exhaling deeply. "Your pussy probably tastes sweeter than last time, yeah?"

Just a few filthy words from him are enough to have your center yearning for him to touch you, feel you. You squeeze your thighs more, your arousal becoming unbearable to the point where you resort on slowly grinding yourself against the chair for the sake of relieving the aching sensation between your legs.

Jungkook silently watches you in amusement, fiddling with the cold metal of his lip piercing before darting his tongue out to slowly swipe on his bottom lip

"You have no clue how fucking crazy I am for you, ___," he lowly whispers, "I'll make sure to fuck you better than last time so you won't leave me again."

And that single phrase eventually does it for you. You quickly bury your head against the table in an attempt to cover up the muffled whimper that escapes your quivering lips. However, your minimal efforts are put in vain when you see a few customers spinning their heads toward you. A dark blush creeps its way onto your face after knowing that you've caught some attention to yourself, and his eyes stay on you like a hawk, the mortifying situation you've placed yourself in certainly providing him an excellent source of entertainment.

The more you try to get off on your own, the tighter Jungkook's pants become. His cock straining uncomfortably against his boxers eventually made him have enough of the smutty show you're putting on for him. With that, he hastily jumps from his seat and yanks your hand along with him. "Let's go," he firmly says, taking long strides out of the café before his bulge can even appear more prominent for others.

It doesn't take long for the two of you to arrive in his car. He swiftly unlocks it as he makes a beeline towards the backseat with you being dragged right behind him. You yelp in surprise when he pushes you inside with no thought, immediately hovering above you to seal your mouths together in what seems like the hungriest kiss you had in your life. He kisses you like a man deprived for decades: greedy, rough, never-ending.

You moan from the way his calloused hands would explore every inch of your body as if he's trying to imprint the image of you in his brain until it leaves a scar on him for eternity.

He pulls himself deeper when your lips part open, slithering his tongue inside your mouth which causes him to hum in delight. He doesn't think of pulling away from you once, though the need to breathe is slowly becoming a struggle for him. If there's anything Jungkook intends right now, it's to savor every moment with you before he reaches his high.

However, it doesn't take long for him to free himself from you, panting wildly as the two of you try to chase your breaths from your intense make-out, lips swollen, and your makeup partially ruined.

He stares at you with full-blown eyes, and you can definitely say the same for yourself. You drink in each other's beauty for what seems like forever, memorizing each perfection and flaw on one's face before you're locking eyes with him once again.

He completely breaks away from you, maneuvering himself to the driver's seat to start up the engine. You sit up in confusion, staring at him through the rear-view mirror, and you see his reflection sending you a smug smile.

"Let's go home, sweetheart," he murmurs, "'M gonna fuck and love you the entire day..."

You shiver at the thought of going home with Jungkook out of all people, but what sends goosebumps rising all over your skin is the fact that everything that has happened up until now was serendipitous. Your day has taken a detour to where you're met with someone you want to deny from your existence.

However, you can't help but let your body need him as much as he needs you.

The two of you struggle to navigate yourselves toward his bedroom, sloppily kissing each other within the long corridors of his penthouse for several minutes before you feel yourself being pushed against the soft material of his mattress. He swiftly discards his dress shirt, finally displaying the well-sculpted figure that's hidden behind the layer of fabric. A myriad of intricate patterns of his full-sleeve tattoo, the burly muscles around his arms, his slim waist—everything about him snatches your breath away in one second. You've already seen Jungkook's body once, but seeing the heavenly figure standing above you in all his glory makes it feel like your first time again. To your dismay, however, your silent worshipping is ephemeral when Jungkook impatiently hovers over your body, hands slithering to your back to unzip your dress off.

You sit up, pulling the straps off your shoulders until your outfit softly thuds against the hard floor. Jungkook quietly groans when your breasts immediately appear upon taking off your dress, a large hand cupping one of them on first instinct.

"Fuck, you weren't wearing a bra?" He husks, toying with your hardening bud with his thumb. You moan breathily as your eyes turn heavy, already feeling sensitive from his bare touch. "The dress already had pads in it," you whimper

Jungkook paid no heed to your response, however, diving himself down the crevices of your neck where your skin gains contact with his lips. You sigh from complete bliss, sensing every lick, suck, and bite he places on your bruised neck. He scatters evidence of himself from your jaw to your chest, a range of light to dark hickeys covering your once clean skin.

"Mine," he murmurs as his hands explore every inch of your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. With each dart of his tongue on one particular spot you love, the more your underwear dampened, and oh — was he extremely pleased when his fingers brushed against your panty-clad center.

"God, you're so wet, sweetheart..." he hums, your arousal feeding onto his growing ego as well as his erection. He draws slow, tantalizing circles around your clit, eliciting a small whimper from you. "Tell me, sweetheart. Who made you this wet, huh?"

"Y-You did," you moan, impatiently bucking your hips against his hand to add more pressure on your nub. He notices your behavior, thus pressing his digits harder agin your center, letting a yelp fall past your lips.

He leans down next to your ear where you can hear him breathing heavily, placing a soft kiss on your temple: a stark contrast to the way his fingers are roughly handling your cunt. "Say my name, angel. Wanna hear how good I'm making you feel."

The hot whisper he sends directly into your ear is enough to have your eyes rolling to the back of your head. You obey him, unable to resist the rapture he's giving you.

"Jungkook," you cry out, and that absolutely does it for Jungkook. The way your voice is filled with vulnerability merely adds on to his urge of ruining you in a multitude of ways he can think of.

Sitting up, he completely retracts his fingers from your sopping panties. You whine from the loss of his warmth, but your excitement instantly returns when he briskly peels them off your legs, now being completely exposed to him.

He grips the back of your thighs, spreading you open. You can practically see him lusting to devour your nether regions by then, but you stop him.

"W-Wait." Your hands fly down to his soft locks just for the sake of not having him face-plant himself on your center right away. He looks up at you with a concerned look, his demeanor doing a 180° flip when he sees you hesitating.

"Why? What's wrong, ___?"

Your heart almost jumps out when he softly addresses your name, showing you that he genuinely cares for your well-being. As much as you want to have Jungkook lap on your heat like it's his last feast, there's always been one asset of his that your starving pussy has been craving for.

"Wanna grind on your abs."

The request is almost inaudible, but he fully registers it. He stares deeply into your irises that you swear you could see his eyes turning a shade darker than before. He inhales slowly, finally pulling away from your parted legs to lay on his back as you gladly straddle him, your dripping cunt directly above his chiseled abdomen. He firmly holds your hips, gently guiding you down until the gap between your center and his skin is non-existent.

And oh, did the sensation hit differently.

You can feel every dip, curve, and ridge of his beautifully sculpted muscles upon contact, causing you to spill your essence upon Jungkook's honeydew skin.

He prompts you to move by grinding your hips back and forth. You didn't hold back the wanton noises escaping you, letting him appreciate your euphoric state as you shamelessly grind down on his perfect body.

You can see from the way he's hissing that he's clearly enjoying it as well, his gaze being solely trained on your heat leaving a trail of your arousal on his abs, biting his lip tightly as he goads you to pick up your pace.

Every time your sensitive clit nudges the hard pec of his abs, every time you feel Jungkook slyly flexing his muscles beneath you, and every time he further sinks your hips down to feel him better has you reeling for him. Everything about the man below you is driving you to the edge of being definitely crazy for him, your brain gradually fogging up to a cloudy state of lust.

"Such a slutty little pussy I have here..." he moans, sliding a tattooed hand up your body to fondle with your breasts. He plays with your erect buds, pinching and twisting them to how he pleases as his other hand never stopped its job from egging you to your upcoming orgasm. "So wet... it's all for me, yeah?"

You hastily bob your head up and down, for you're at a complete loss of words when you sense the bubbling knot in your stomach about to break loose any moment.

Jungkook finds no satisfaction in your response, though. He abruptly slaps your mounds to regain your attention. You gasp loudly from the painful impact, but your body seems to say otherwise when your pussy leaks more of your sticky essence onto his abs. "Words, baby. I can't hear you."

"Yes! Yes, 's all for you..!" you slur, having lost the ability to speak a single coherent word at this point. The only word you want to chant is Jungkook's name like a broken record.

And you're merely humping his abs like a pathetic animal in heat.

"Good girl," he purrs, placing his thumb on the top of your clit to rub figures of eights. You're sent into a frenzy from the subtle action, your orgasm reaching closer to its bay with each second passing.

"C-Cumming," you sob, your thighs twitching violently as your pace begins to falter, using what little energy you have left to bring you to the finish line of your climax.

"Yeah? Gonna be my good slut and cum all over my abs?"

His profane words aid your impending orgasm. Your voice becoming high-pitched, your chest rapidly heaving up and down as you hear the lewd squelching noises your cunt makes.

You reach a point where your entire body is stuttering, obscene noises continuously spilling from your lips like a waterfall. The hard ridges of Jungkook's abs are certainly bringing you to an intense high, but what ends you is his sweet voice putting you in a daze with his words.

Jungkook chuckles darkly with each sensitive reaction your body makes, "Go on and make a mess all over me, sweetheart."

And you did. Your mouth hangs wide open, but nothing is uttered from you. Your juices gush out from your center, flowing to your inner thighs and onto his abdomen. Your walls clench around thin air as you slowly ride out your high. Your small whimpers eventually come to a halt, and nothing can be heard in the room aside from the squelch of your cunt and your heavy panting.

He gently raises your hips up, eyes glazing over the sticky mess you've just created on his abdomen. Two fingers dip down to wipe away your essence from his skin, and before you know it, his fingers are right in front of your lips.

"Open." You did as told, welcoming your taste within your mouth. You greedily swirl your tongue around as you would with his cock, cleaning up what little mess that's left on him.

He pulls out with a string of saliva connecting him to your lips, groaning quietly after seeing his glistening digits.

"Fuck," he breathes out, "I have to taste you, sweetheart." He swiftly manhandles your frail body, hovering himself over you again as he parts your thighs. He eyes you like a man starved for days, and you're his prey that was caught in his trap.

Without warning, he licks a fat stripe of his tongue on your sensitive folds, earning a shriek from you. He moans against your sopping center, the vibrations making your entire body fall limp as you give up from prying his head away. Noting your weak state, Jungkook forms a sinister smile and proceeds to ruin you with his tongue, determined to put you on the brink of another orgasm.

"You taste so fucking good," he whines, his mouth loudly slurping up all of your leaking juices. "You gonna be a good girl and cum for me again?"

"Ngh... s-sensitive," you groan from the overstimulation, thighs threatening to close around Jungkook's head, but he holds you in place. He sucks on your clit like a madman, your legs quivering profusely as you feel yourself rapidly approaching another climax.

You don't realize the tears that are dribbling down your cheeks, your senses going into overdrive from the overwhelming bliss. It only takes one last suckle from Jungkook's lips to have you breaking down again. You see stars in your vision when your high crashes down on you like a tidal wave, your essence surging out your throbbing folds as he successfully catches everything on his tongue, leaving no traces of your orgasm behind. Your hands grip his hair, using the remaining energy in you to push him away. Thankfully, he complies, sitting on his knees to appreciate the mess he's created. Your hair has turned into a bird's nest, your makeup smothered all over your face, and your pussy is glistening from your slick all because of him.

Jungkook whines, the tent in his pants growing painfully unbearable. "Need to be inside you right now," he mutters before manhandling you on all fours. You shudder upon facing the mirror in front of you, finally witnessing for the first time how much Jungkook has destroyed you, and he's yet to sink his throbbing cock inside you.

Hearing a soft thud on the floor, you gasp softly when you feel his leaking tip poking your entrance. He bends down until your back meets his chest. His eyes lock with yours through the mirror, placing a soft kiss on your temple before ghosting his lips over your ear. "Eyes on the mirror when I fuck you, sweetheart," he whispers without ever breaking the intimidating gaze he has on you.

With that, he slowly enters you, your warm walls fluttering around his thick girth as you let out a long moan from his intrusion.

He hasn't even completely bottomed out, and your eyes are already giving in on the verge of closing themselves. He spots you from the large mirror, causing him to bundle the roots of your hair to force your head up. "Keep your eyes on the fucking mirror, baby," he groans, "watch me fuck you."

You finally feel him bottom out, mewling wantonly when his tip nudges your sweet spot. The burning sensation of your walls accommodating his girth brings tears in your eyes, for you sense every vein and inch of him rubbing against your warm folds.

Groaning, he slowly draws his length out until the mere tip remains inside you. The wind from your lungs is quickly knocked off when he roughly slams back in, pulling another gasp from your lips.

The thought of you taking Jungkook raw drives him insane. Feeling your tight walls squeeze his cock bare is something akin to heaven, and he can't help but let all hell break loose on you.

He doesn't give you any time to adjust, for he's already setting a ruthless pace on you. Your knuckles turn white from how you tightly claw the sheets beneath you, and for every second you watch Jungkook, the more your cunt becomes greedier for him.

The way his muscles flex with each languid thrust of his hips has you unconsciously clenching around his cock, a series of lewd noises tumbling out your mouth as if you're a broken toy.

If anything, you're his toy.

"Pussy so fucking good," he moans, landing a hard spank on your ass. "Your slutty little cunt is made for my cock, yeah?"

You roll your eyes from his possessive treatment, the way he filthily talks to you only adds on to your arousal as you nod in affirmation.

He simpers at your reflection, already knowing that you've become dumb on his cock from how you kept unknowingly drooling from the side of your mouth.

"Yeah? My little whore loves taking my cock so much, huh?" He continues, his cock drilling in and out of your leaking hole. "Bet you've never been fucked this good before," he snickers.

"Ngh, Jungkook!" You cry from how hard he's pounding into you, the mixed sensation of pain and pleasure pricking tears from your eyes. If it wasn't for the strong grip he has around the roots of your hair, your upper body would've gone purely limp by now.

It doesn't take long for you to eventually end up like Jungkook intended you to be: a broken mess. Any other rational thought from you had long been thrown out the window, for the only word you know left is his name. You chant his name in a mantra, panting wildly as you whimper louder with each thrust.

Nothing can be more perfect for Jungkook aside from the sight below him. He stares in awe whenever he pulls out to see his cock wrapped around in your slick, and hearing the obscene noises he's drawing from you is a symphony to his ears.

But most importantly, seeing how you react to even the littlest of his touch makes his heart skip a beat.

For Jungkook, you look the most beautiful when you're with him.

"You look so pretty taking my cock, sweetheart," he rasps, voicing out his thoughts. For a second, your eyes lock with his through the mirror, and you can feel your heart pounding wildly the moment you gaze through his dark eyes clouded with lust.

Your body begins to tremble when you feel yourself exploding for the third time. He feels your walls tensing sporadically around his girth, coaxing him to pound you harder—if that was even possible. You see stars in your vision every time his leaking tip kisses your spongy spot as more of your arousal trickles down your thighs.

"Jungkook," you mewl weakly, "'M g-gonna cum..!"

"I know, sweetheart." He licks his lips, making you release a tiny whimper. "You gonna milk all over my cock, hmm? Your pussy's such a fucking whore for me, angel."

The deep laugh that vibrates from his chest is what triggers you to cling onto his cock tightly and coat him in your orgasm. You wail loudly from the intense high, your upper body finally falling down on the bed. Jungkook gasps from how hard you squeezed him. His cock twitches madly inside you, and he hastily pulls out from your drenched hole to put you in another position.

You yelp when he places you on your back, his large hands groping the back of your thighs as he easily slides his cock back inside you.

Your moans quickly become high-pitched, for he gave you no time to recover from your climax. Jungkook watches in awe how you appear oh-so ethereal in his eyes—all weak and vulnerable underneath him.

He grunts with every push of his cock inside you, sensing his high that's about to burst any minute.

Leaning down, Jungkook seals your lips together in another heated kiss, muffling the sinful noises that are falling off your tongue.

It doesn't take long for him to pull away. You feel his forearms sinking down on the mattress as a few strands of his hair dangle against your face. However, despite being unable to completely see him, you can still see his eyes boring holes into your soul.

"And to think you could've gone out with another man," he spits, tone rather harsh before quickening his pace. "Tell me, sweetheart," he pants, "do you think he can fuck you as good as I can?"

You're taken aback by his abrupt question, but you mindlessly respond nonetheless, for your brain has absolutely gone to mush from how good his cock rubs against your velvety walls.

"No! Y-You're better!"

"Yeah? Am I the best fuck you ever had?"

"Yes..! Oh my fucking god!"

"Glad you know, angel," he chuckles, his tattooed hand suddenly flying down to rub fast circles on your sore clit, "because there won't be another dick out there that's half as good as mine."

"Jungkook, I can't," you sob, "t-too much..!"

He snarls, "Oh, you will, angel. I know my pretty girl can do it." His thrusts turn inconsistently sloppy as you feel his cock twitching uncontrollably inside your warmth.

"G-Gonna cum," you faintly whimper, your hands frantically ruffle the sheets, for you're at a loss on what to grip.

"Tell me you're mine," Jungkook pants, placing his forehead against yours, increasing the level of intimacy between you.

Your breath hitches from the proximity. You search for his eyes, and they glow a different appearance: desperation. He searches for yours as well, and your heart freezes momentarily from the passion burning in his irises. You sense him approaching the tip of his high, but he doesn't give in just yet. He needs to hear you confirm his words before everything else, refusing to relish the wrack of pleasure until you provide him the answer he yearns for.

"Tell me you're mine first and I'll let you cum," he swiftly says in one breath, grasping his fingers underneath your chin to graze his lips against yours. You become tongue-tied for a moment, your emotions being tangled up into a messy ball.

But the way he whimpers, oh, so weakly against you has your knees buckling; along with the way his cock is ramming up your cervix creates a cluster of hysteria blocking your rationale.

The only thing you're begging for at the moment is that sweet orgasm Jungkook is about to serve you. Thus, it's no doubt that you'd do anything he says for you for the sake of your breaking point.

You breathe heavily against his lips, your eyes closing in on the tremendous euphoria. "I'm yours."

"One more, baby. I wanna hear you."

"Fuck!" You whimper, his cock showing no signs of remorse on your sensitive g-spot. "I'm yours! Only yours!"

"Atta, girl..." he croons at you, snaking a hand around your neck to restrict the air flowing in your lungs. "This is my pussy, yeah? You're my slut. My good, pretty little whore, hmm? You're mine, sweetheart. I fucking love everything about you that I wanna keep you forever — shit..!"

His speech falters, a high-pitched whine falling off those pretty lips as he hastily pulls out of your throbbing cunt, stroking himself languidly before he releases his load all over your body. Spurts of white cover your abdomen to your leaking cunt. He lets out a guttural groan from the intense orgasm, milking out the last of his remains before collapsing next to you, utterly spent and exhausted. His tattooed arm reaches for the bedside table, pulling on one of the drawers to grab a towelette.

Jungkook props himself up on one elbow as he gently pats down the areas that are covered with his sticky essence. "You did so well for me, sweetheart," he chuckles breathily while cleaning you up.

You, on the other hand, are at a loss for words. Perhaps it's because your voice became worn out from the numerous orgasms he pulled out of you.

Or was it because of the dangerous attachment Jungkook was showing for you?

Whatever it was, you decided to remain silent the entire time, listening in on yours and Jungkook's tranquil breathing combined, chests rising and falling in perfect synchronization as you appreciate the afterglow of a temporary escapade.

Once he's done cleaning you up, he throws the filthy cloth into a nearby bin and pulls the covers over your bare bodies. "Uhm, ___...." he's also the first one to break the silence, looking at you hesitantly while nibbling on his piercing.

You turn your head to him curiously, which is enough for him to know that he has your attention again.

He sighs softly before continuing. "Listen... ever since last time, I really couldn't stop thinking about you. The fact that you left without a word seriously drove me crazy, and all I wanted to do was to have you in my arms again."

Quirking an eyebrow, you gaze at him with widened eyes. You're about to part your lips to say something in response, but he quickly cuts you off.

"I wasn't myself for the past few months, and I know that it was extremely stupid, but I couldn't help it, ___. I genuinely like you. Even if we only encountered each other for a short time, I really wish to ask you out. You don't know how happy I was when I saw you earlier today. I sincerely want to get to know you better, ___, and perhaps take you out more often..."

His confession alone is enough to have your thoughts turn into a messy, tangled ball of threads. Your throat dries as you stare at him with a baffled appearance. Hesitantly, you slowly nod your head at him, unsure of how to process everything at the moment.

However, Jungkook can read you like an open book. He isn't anywhere convinced of your slow response, rather demanding an affirmative answer from your mouth.

"Words, sweetheart. I need words."

Sadness looms in your eyes because of what seems like sincerity in his. If you're honestly speaking, there's nothing stopping you from giving the fine man in front of you a chance and letting him treat you like the queen you are, laying out a red carpet on the ground you walk on as he gives you ecstasy from morning to midnight.

Oh, how unfortunate that your thoughts didn't correlate with your words.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook," you mumble quietly, "I don't think I want to."

Jungkook's expression falls from your answer. "What..?"

You purse your lips nervously. You chose to reject him, but why are you feeling different?

"Is it because I'm always out with other people?" he asks, a frown forming on his lips. "The last person I've been with was you, ___. I told you I wasn't myself after last night between us. You were all that was running through my mind from then until now." You can see the desperate look in his eyes pleading for your approval, but all that comes from you is a shaky sigh as you look away from him.

"I'm sorry. We really can't."

"___, think about it," he frantically says, eyes following you when you abruptly sit up to search for your clothes.

"That's my answer, Jungkook," you reply as you hastily put on each piece of clothing one by one. "I reject your offer."

Before he can utter another word, you quickly fix your appearance as if nothing has ever happened between the two of you.

"___, wait." Jungkook chases for your arm, reaching out to grab it, but you're like water: always running away, never able to touch. You make a beeline towards the exit of his bedroom without ever turning back. You're as scared to leave as much as you are to be with him. You still choose the former, though, storming out the door without another word. Because you're a coward, unable to live on that fast lane with Jungkook.

He lays there defeated, clueless on how to get over the flame you lit up in his heart.

In the end, you left Jungkook smoking out the window as a bitter reminder of your rejection, wondering to himself on how you could do this to him.

After last night, you were the match who lit Jungkook on fire. After this night, you were the wind that blew his burning heart away into ashes.

[kallie-den]

Voice of the Goddess

The annoyingly pious, prudish party cleric suddenly changes her tune after a dark artifact connects her to a dark goddess with mind-warping powers and a very, very different set of values

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“That was one hell of a battle,” Ghelda the barbarian said, stretching out like a big cat across the floor of her tent. “Those cultists put up a better fight than I’d expected. All that dark magic bullshit. At first, I figured they were too obsessed with sex to know which end of a weapon to use.” She flashed a wicked grin. “Here to tend to my wounds, Zareen?”

“Is that what you want?” Zareen the rogue purred. Lying next to the barbarian, she was tracing the lines of Ghelda’s abs with her fingertips. Ghelda was the size of a mountain, and every bit as rugged. “Bandages? Ointments? Do you need to tell me where it hurts?”

Ghelda let out a gut laugh that made the whole tent shake. “Oh, I can think of something that needs tending alright. Maybe you can suck the poison out.”

“Maybe I can.” Zareen winked suggestively at her. “The only question is: are you just going to lie here while I do? Or are you gonna put those big, strong muscles of yours to good use?”

“What did you have in mind?” Ghelda propped herself up before wrapping her hands around Zareen’s slender hips and pulling the rogue into her lap. “Upside down, like before? Or something more exotic?”

“Well, I swiped this pleasure scroll from the cultists,” Zareen replied, squealing playfully as Ghelda slapped her ass. “And the positions are quite something. It’s some real dark magic.”

“Yeah?” Ghelda’s deep voice was thick with lust. She reached down and started unfastening her loincloth. “Then how about we-“

“Creatum aqua!”

Ghelda and Zareen had no time at all to react before the entire tent was drenched in a torrent of ice-cold water that appeared from thin air above them. The tent immediately collapsed from the weight of the deluge, and it took much kicking, scrambling, and swearing before the pair of adventurers finally extracted themselves and clambered to their feet, both of them soaked to the bone.

“What the fuck, Lialeth?” Ghelda raged, scowling at the person standing before them. “Do you truly not have anything better to use your magic on?”

Somehow, even though she was dry and unharmed, Lialeth, the party’s cleric, managed to scowl back twice as hard and look twice as displeased. She folded her arms. “In fact, I do not. What better use could there be than ensuring the hero’s party doesn’t lapse into sin and depravity?”

Ghelda bristled like an angry tiger, and Zareen rolled her eyes. “We’re having this conversation again?” the rogue drawled. “Surely your annoying little goddess has greater things to worry about. Frankly, she must be furious with you for wasting so much of her precious time.”

Lialeth prided herself on being immaculately composed. From head to toe, she was every inch the perfect priestess. She dressed modestly in spotless, white robes, and adorned herself with nothing except for a sacred symbol, a prayer book, and a few other holy relics. She even kept her neatly braided hair hidden beneath a black veil. She looked like she belonged in a cloister, not on a battlefield. But through countless battles and hardships, her face always remained pressed into an expression of serene composure and pious determination.

When she heard Zareen refer to her ‘annoying little goddess’, however, she turned as red as a tomato with barely-restrained fury.

“Blasphemy!” she cried. “The Goddess of Light deserves the utmost respect! Violent malefactors like you are unworthy to even speak of her! I have tried so very patiently to correct your behavior and explain to you both exactly how much she disapproves of all your misdeeds - but you do nothing but laugh at her teachings! How many times do I have to say it? Fornication outside of marriage is a terrible sin!”

Ghelda just snorted. “If the gods didn’t want me to sleep around, they wouldn’t have blessed me with this.”

She reached down to her groin and made an obscene gesture that had Lialeth turning an even deeper shade of red.

“How dare you!” the cleric spluttered. She knew very well what Ghelda was hiding underneath that loincloth. The barbarian boasted about it often enough. “Honestly! It’s a testament to her infinite kindness and patience that she still wishes me to travel with you. Or a test of my own piety, perhaps. Certainly, the likes of you don’t deserve to receive her blessings - or mine.”

“Aren’t you tired of this little spiel?” Zareen sighed. “We’ve heard it a hundred times, Lialeth. It seems like you prefer the sound of your own voice to that of your goddess. What makes you so sure you know what she wants, anyway? Aren’t you priestesses supposed to be humble?”

“I’m a cleric!” Lialeth shrieked. “I can hear her voice! The Goddess of Light speaks through me! And I promise that I will make you listen, sooner or later!”

“W-what’s going on? Why is everyone y-yelling?”

Another party member was approaching from the far side of the camp. She spoke in a timid, uneven voice punctuated by laughs and irregular, high-pitched tics, and wore a florid black dress so large she was practically drowning in it. Her hair was an unkempt mane of deep purple, and she was clutching a sinister-looking grimoire that drew a fresh scowl of displeasure from Lialeth.

It was Hecatz the warlock.

“Hecatz,” Zareen exclaimed theatrically. “Welcome to the sermon! Lialeth was just telling us all about fornication.”

Hecatz let out a low, filthy giggle. Zareen didn’t have much in common with the shy, nerdy, bookworm warlock, but a shared antipathy towards Lialeth was easy to bond over.

“T-this again?” Hecatz muttered in a nasal voice. “Boring.”

“The devil-worshiper, defending sin? I’m not surprised!” Lialeth rounded on the warlock. She disdained Hecatz’s magic as ‘dark arts’, and made no secret about it. Plus, Hecatz was also no stranger to sharing Ghelda’s bed. “I won’t pretend there’s any saving you."

“You know, you could always join us,” Zareen purred. She lifted a hand to her lips and split her fingers in a V, and started extending her tongue between them. “Maybe we can be the ones to teach you a thing or two. Maybe you’d enjoy it. You must be harboring a few naughty little fantasies, underneath all that repression and haughtiness. A good fuck might be exactly what you need to finally get that stick out of your ass.”

“How dare you!” Lialeth screeched again. She drew herself up as tall as she could. “I take it back. All of you are beyond saving. The best you can do is bow down to the goddess and beg mercy for your-“

“Lialeth!” came a loud, firm voice. “That’s enough.”

All four of the other party members turned to see the final member of their company - Mireille, their leader - striding towards them. Finally, Lialeth’s expression started to soften.

Mireille was a hero, and she looked like it. Clad in shining armor, her handsome looks and long, blonde hair shone like the sun. She was a beacon of virtue, and even Lialeth couldn’t find fault with her. If not for Mireille, the party would have long since collapsed into infighting and acrimony. As prophesied, it was Mireille who had bound them together and who led them across the land, fighting evil wherever it could be found. She walked with destiny at her side, and everyone who met her knew it.

The only thing Lialeth didn’t like about her was how tolerant she was of people’s flaws.

"Mireille!” Lialeth protested. “They were-“

“I know,” Mireille interrupted. Her voice was gentle, but she sounded weary - from the battle, Lialeth assumed. “But it’s been a long day. We all need to blow off steam. Surely you can forgive them that.”

“Well, of course,” Lialeth acknowledged. “But that’s why this is so important! We should be blowing off steam together. I can lead us in a circle of prayer and ritual purification! That’s what the goddess demands. Especially after that vile orgy we just witnessed! If they’d only try it…”

“Lialeth,” Mireille said, pointedly ignoring the way Ghelda and Hecatz were snickering at the mention of ‘blowing off steam together’. “The goddess only wishes the willingly faithful to partake in her rites. Isn’t that so?”

“That’s true…” Lialeth conceded. Suddenly, she felt herself on the back foot. “But they should-“

“They have made their feelings clear,” Mireille explained kindly. “Everyone has their own way to relax and recuperate. Some are simply a little… rowdier than others. I’m sure you can find it in your heart to overlook that. Nobody’s perfect. Not even me.”

She smiled, and Lialeth knew there was no going against Mireille. Not when she smiled like that.

“But…” the cleric protested weakly. “The goddess demands…”

“I’ll pray with you,” Mireille offered. “Just as soon as I’ve finished patching up my gear. We can conduct all the proper rites together. I always find peace in them.”

She did - although Lialeth also knew she enjoyed drinking with Ghelda, exploring with Zareen, and discussing books with Hecatz. That was Mireille all over. She was everyone’s hero.

“Very well,” Lialeth said stiffly. “There’s a spring in the woods, a short way north. I’ll wait there. At least there I’ll have some quiet.”

She turned her back, ready to make off in a huff, but Mireille stopped her.

“Wait,” the hero added. “I found something, at the cultist’s camp. An artifact. I was hoping you could take a look at it? Purify it, perhaps.”

It was an olive branch, Lialeth could tell that much. A way to help Lialeth preserve some dignity. Mireille wanted Lialeth to know she appreciated what the cleric would do. She appreciated the sentiment, even if it did little to soothe the humiliation of having Ghelda, Zareen and Hecatz all laughing at her behind her back.

“Very well,” Lialeth replied. “I shall see what I can do.”

She took the pouch Mireille offered to her, and stormed off into the woods.

“Why don’t they understand?” Lialeth muttered mutinously under her breath as she trudged through the forest. “I am the voice of a goddess. A goddess! She speaks through me. Why don’t they listen? Are they so thick-headed, they think they’re above the gods?”

She was sulking. She knew it was beneath her, but she didn’t care. Lialeth was at her wits’ end. What was she supposed to do?

Growing up amongst the faithful, Lialeth’s role in life had always been perfectly clear: limitless devotion to the goddess. It hadn’t been easy, but she’d learned to follow and accept every last tenet of her goddess’s worship. Whatever was written in scripture, that was her motto. Whatever the priestesses told her, that was her mantra. It was simple.

But not optional. If you followed everything, without question, you were good. Blessed. Chosen. If you wavered, you were bad. Spurned. Damned. Stained. What was so hard about that?

When Lialeth had heard the voice of the Goddess of Light speaking directly to her, it had been the happiest moment of her life. It meant she was a cleric, elevated above the flock, marked out for a special purpose. It had been the ultimate validation of her scrupulous obedience and piety. Her goddess’s voice surpassed everything else in importance. It was her guiding star. And when the goddess had told her that she was to seek out the hero, Mireille, and join her on her quest, she had accepted with joy in her heart.

But when she’d met the hero’s other companions, it had all gone wrong.

Surely Lialeth had been sent to try and save them from their own sins. To try and educate them, to make them holy and pure - just like her. But Ghelda, Zareen and Hecatz acted like her teachings and her righteous indignation were nothing more than prudish nagging and self-important bluster.

It was so confusing. The cleric didn’t know how to make them understand. She wasn’t just guessing. She was a cleric. She was chosen. She could literally hear the Goddess of Light speaking to her and telling her what to do!

Not now, of course. Not when she was off sulking in the woods. The goddess only deigned to speak to her at moments of great importance, in battles or at the crossroads of fateful choices. It was only proper. But Lialeth could have used a little guidance, at a time like this.

As Lialeth arrived at the spring, she decided to put those thoughts out of her mind. Mireille would come, they’d pray together, and Lialeth would feel better - at least for the moment. Until then, rather than stew in her frustration, it would be wiser to do something that made her feel useful.

With that in mind, Lialeth perched on a rock overlooking the spring and opened the pouch Mireille had given her. Inside was a large, dark orb that was made of something like glass - obsidian, perhaps - with a faint, shrouded, purple light emanating from its heart. As Lialeth held it aloft in one hand, she frowned. She’d never seen anything quite like this.

But it was powerful. She could tell that much.

The artifact radiated magical power. No, not just magical power. Divine power. For a cleric like Lialeth, there was no mistaking it. She couldn’t even begin to guess at the artifact’s function, but she was mindful of the fact that it belonged to evil cultists. The shadowy cult the party was currently rooting out was truly vile. Lialeth had never before encountered a gang of such depraved perverts. There was no chance that anything they treasured was harmless.

Briefly, Lialeth considered that the wisest course of action might have been to seal the artifact until she could take it back to her convent for proper study. Except… Mireille had suggested she purify it. Lialeth couldn’t go back empty-handed. She didn’t want Mireille to be disappointed in her, and she certainly didn't want the others to laugh at her failure.

So, uttering a quiet blessing, Lialeth closed her eyes and allowed the breath of the Goddess of Light to enter her. That breath fanned the spark of the divine within her into a flame, and Lialeth was able to take that flame’s warmth and light into the palm of her hand and use it to reach into the strange orb, illuminating its depths and probing for the secrets sealed within.

Too late, she sensed the presence within the orb reaching back.

Suddenly, the divine power Lialeth could sense emanating from the artifact increased a hundredfold, and behind it, she could now discern a distinct intent. A being, uncoiling like a serpent and stretching out toward her.

Lialeth tried to pull back. But it was too late; whatever was within the orb was awake, and already had its hooks in her. It just kept extending and unfolding, its darkness drowning out the light the cleric had called upon. Lialeth was struck with the distinct, uncomfortable sense that she was being seen by something. It was terrifying. It was like staring into a baleful sun.

She knew what this artifact was now: a prison. And Lialeth, in her carelessness, had opened it. But a prison for what? She’d never sensed anything even close to as powerful as this. Only the Goddess of Light herself came close. Why did this entity feel so uncannily similar? Its power was like a dark mirror of the goddess’s.

Was this… the prison of a god? That seemed absurd. Lialeth had never heard of such a thing. And yet…

Crack!

Without warning, the orb’s surface shattered. Out of a hundred tiny cracks, there emerged a vast, dark cloud, blacker than the blackest night yet illuminated by that same strange, purple glow as the orb. It just kept growing and growing, somehow ignoring the wind, until it completely surrounded Lialeth.

“Light preserve me!” Lialeth breathed.

As soon as the words left her lips, the dark cloud surged towards her. There was no time to react. In an instant, it was all over her - and in another it was inside her, pouring into her eyes, her mouth, her nose, even her eyes. Lialeth felt like she was drowning. Every muscle in her body went stiff in protest against the vile intrusion.

Lialeth, my child! Hurry, you must-

It was the voice of the Goddess of Light! Lialeth rejoiced - but then, when the voice cut off, she immediately panicked. She had never felt such an awful sense of severance from the divine light. Nobody could interrupt the Goddess of Light. That was impossible… wasn’t it? Suddenly, Lialeth wasn’t so sure. And worse, she could still feel something powerful and evil and alien making its home inside her.

Oh? What have we here?

It was… the Goddess of Light? The voice was speaking directly into Lialeth’s soul in just the same way, but there was something different about it. The voice, though still feminine sounded deeper, more sensual, dripping with a kind of gleeful promise that made all of Lialeth’s hairs stand on end.

A follower of light? Such fortune! ‘Twas your kind that imprisoned me. And only your magic could set me free.

It had to be the Goddess of Light, didn’t it? The alternative was simply unthinkable. It frightened Lialeth on a level she simply couldn’t bring herself to contemplate. Yes. Yes, this was simply the Goddess of Light. What did it matter that her voice sounded a little different, and if her words were confusing? It wasn’t Lialeth’s place to question.

And such capacity for faith! How amusing. You shall make for a fitting vessel, child. Through you, I will sow corruption across the land.

Corruption? That didn’t sound right. That didn’t sound like the goddess Lialeth knew and loved. But… it had to be, didn’t it? Her connection to the Goddess of Light was inviolate. Lialeth was sacred. Chosen. She always had been. Doubt didn’t come naturally to her. Heeding the voice of the goddess in her soul came as naturally to Lialeth as breathing.

But… the orb. The dark cloud. What if…

You’re troubled, child. Let me free you from doubt and worry.

Lialeth felt something moving inside her. Whatever it was, it wasn’t a cloud anymore. It was a liquid, an ooze, black as pitch, but animated by its own will. Somehow, she could feel it clawing its way up her spine, staining everything it touched, and then forcing its way inside her skull.

The cleric twitched violently for a moment as the invading presence explored the intricate pathways of her mind. Soon, it found what it was looking for: her doubt. Her judgment. Her sense of her own values, cultivated over many long years of study and piety.

It snuffed them out as easily as Lialeth might have quenched a match.

Lialeth slumped and relaxed. Yes. This was the voice of the goddess. Of her goddess.

All was right in the world.

That’s better. Now, we must deal with your companions. You’ve always wanted to teach them a lesson, haven’t you? I can make them heed your lessons. I could do it in any number of ways, in fact… but you really are such an insufferable little tool of that miserable goddess. And it’s been far, far too long since I’ve had some real fun. Some true debauchery. Yes, I know what to do with you.

Lialeth just went on smiling. It didn’t matter to her that the voice in her soul was insulting her and her long-treasured faith. This was her goddess. All Lialeth needed to do was listen and obey.

Yes, Lialeth. Listen and obey. For I have new commandments to give you…

Zareen awoke to the sensation of a hand on her ass. That, in itself, wasn’t unusual. After Lialeth had stormed off, Zareen and Ghelda had painstakingly dried and re-pitched their tent, fucked and then laid down to sleep. The rogue slept on her front, and it wasn’t unusual for Ghelda to get a little touchy-feely, even when she was unconscious. The barbarian had fierce appetites.

Zareen didn’t mind one bit.

Another hand. Maybe Ghelda wasn’t asleep after all. Zareen could have sworn she could still hear the barbarian’s breathing from next to her. Maybe that was something else. Her head was fogged from exhaustion, and her body was sore from the day’s trials.

“Another round, stud?” Zareen murmured. “Maybe… in a bit…”

In response, the pair of hands started forcefully spreading her ass cheeks apart.

Zareen started to stir. This had to be Ghelda. She could certainly be firm, once she set her mind to something. That was fun, in a way. And they were no strangers to this kind of sex. Zareen really was too tired for it, though. Ghelda’s size wasn’t to be taken lightly.

“Hey,” Zareen drawled sleepily. “Maybe for now you could just-“

A tongue.

Zareen gasped and collapsed back into her pillow as she felt a tongue pressing into her tight, sensitive hole. Before she could catch her breath, the tongue started moving, and Zareen was having her ass eaten out with a level of devotion and fanaticism she’d never experienced before. Each time the tongue pushed deeper into her body, it made Zareen twitch and moan as thundershocks of pleasure raced up her spine.

“F-fuck!” she gasped breathlessly. “W-where did you learn to do this?”

It was surprising, for Ghelda. The barbarian usually had a single-minded focus on herself and her own pleasure, and on all the ways she could bury her spear in Zareen’s body. Zareen didn’t mind that either. She could - and did - appreciate many, many different flavors of lover.

But if this was a new trick Ghelda was picking up, Zareen certainly wasn’t going to complain. The way her ass was being rimmed felt utterly divine. Each lap of that eager tongue made the rogue’s body go weak with pleasure. As her moans built, she managed to raise herself up on her knees, all the better to start rolling her hips and pressing her ass back against the mouth that was so eager to explore it.

“Yeah,” Zareen purred. “That’s it, stud. R-right there. Fuck! I could get used to this.”

She really could. Having her ass eaten this way was driving her wild. It was a new, exciting form of pleasure she’d never felt before. Eager to bathe in the hedonism of the experience, Zareen twisted her body so that she could reach back and start idly playing with her cunt. But as she did, she caught sight of the person kneeling behind her, face buried in her rear.

It was Lialeth. Not Ghelda. Lialeth.

“What the fuck?” Zareen hissed, although her voice was still stained through with pleasure. “What the hell are you doing?”

She crawled forward. Once she saw her face, there was no doubt about it. This was Lialeth. The cleric’s face was stained with saliva and with the holy oils she’d apparently been using to lube up Zareen’s ass, and when she saw that Zareen was trying to pull away from her, she made an irritated, high-handed tutting noise.

“Typical,” Lialeth complained. “Just typical!”

Zareen was utterly flabbergasted. She had a hundred questions. Why was Lialeth in her tent? Why was this snippy little cleric eating her ass? Why was she so damn good at it? And why was she talking like all this was completely normal?

Was Lialeth drunk? Had she taken something? Zareen peered at her as closely as she could, but in the dim tent, it was too dark to see her eyes.

“What. Are. You. Doing?” Zareen demanded again, in a hushed voice.

Unbelievably, Lialeth just rolled her eyes at her.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Lialeth sneered. “As usual, I’m simply trying to conduct the rites of the goddess. And as usual, you are making it very difficult!”

“Wha…” Zareen just blinked. Was this some kind of joke? “The… rites of the goddess?”

“Yes!” Lialeth nodded impatiently. "It’s my responsibility as a cleric to keep you cleansed and pure!”

“With… with your tongue?” Zareen was incredulous.

“You dare question the goddess’s teachings?” Lialeth hissed imperiously. “I am the chosen vessel of her divinity! I am the voice of the goddess! What better instrument to anoint you with her blessings?”

Zareen could do nothing but laugh. She was giving up on understanding this. Probably, it was a dream. But if not, and if Lialeth had finally cracked, Zareen figured the experience might teach her some much-needed humility. If the cleric really wanted to eat her ass that badly, why not let her?

“You know what? Go ahead,” Zareen murmured, slumping back into her pillow with a sleepy, pleasure-drunk smile on her face. “Knock yourself out.”

“Thank you!” Lialeth exclaimed indignantly. A mere moment later, her face was firmly nested back in Zareen’s ass. Her voice became decidedly muffled. “Maybe there’s… hope for you… after all.”

Each word was punctuated with the wet, lewd sound of her tongue pressing in and out of Zareen’s hole. The rogue simply let out an agreeable moan as fresh waves of pleasure started rolling over her. Admittedly, Lialeth’s technique wasn’t particularly precise or refined, but her sheer enthusiasm more than made up for it. She was truly eating ass like it was her religion, and the sounds her worship made were only growing louder and more obscene by the moment.

“Huh?” came a deep, weary voice from the other side of the tent. “What’s all the… Zar, that you?”

It was Ghelda. The barbarian was waking up. Zareen giggled as she saw the small mountain of blankets and furs beside her starting to shift. What would Ghelda make of this, she wondered?

Once Ghelda had propped herself up on one elbow and rubbed the sleep from her eyes she was greeted by the sight of Lialeth, the annoyingly pious, prudish and judgmental cleric, with her face buried as deep as it could go in another woman’s ass, lapping and kissing like her life depended on it. Her jaw dropped.

“Seven fucking hells,” Ghelda groaned. “What did I drink?”

Her words alerted Lialeth to the barbarian’s presence. She extracted herself from Zareen’s ass - prompting a slight, petulant whine from the rogue - and turned to Ghelda, drawing herself up proudly.

“Ghelda!” Lialeth exclaimed. “Thank goodness! You’re here too. Perfect.”

Without any more warning than that, she pounced on the barbarian with such eagerness that even the huge mountain of a woman was knocked unsteady. Taking advantage, Lialeth wrapped her hands around Ghelda’s hips and, with a firm grip on the barbarian, pressed her face straight between her thighs.

Ghelda, still in shock from what was happening, let out a faint moan. It was obvious that, despite her surprise, her body was responding to Lialeth’s eager attention. Zareen could see her loincloth beginning to lift as something thick and hard formed a very, very noticeable bulge underneath it.

“Get this… out of… the way!” Lialeth commanded, trying frantically to pull the loincloth to one side. In her eagerness, she was already spilling drool all over both Ghelda and herself. Once she had successfully dislodged the garment, she opened her mouth, extended her tongue, and buried Ghelda’s massive cock in her throat.

Ghelda immediately let out a full-throated growl of astonished pleasure. Lialeth was sucking her cock with just the same level of fanatical eagerness she’d exhibited when eating Zareen’s ass, but this was proving a far harder task. Ghelda was huge. The barbarian’s throbbing cock was a foot long and girthy to match, and Lialeth was trying to take every last inch. The result was a succession of sounds so lewd they would have made a whore blush.

The slap of flesh on flesh as Lialeth forced her lips all the way down to the base of Ghelda’s cock. The violent choking and gagging as she desperately pushed past her own gag reflex. And then the loud, wet smack of her lips as she pulled back and extracted the barbarian’s huge shaft from her throat and lavished its tip with hungry kisses, only to deep throat it again after barely pausing to breathe.

“Holy… fuck!” Ghelda grunted. She was stunned. She’d had her cock sucked often, but never quite like this. And certainly never by a cleric. She glanced at Zareen. “Is she…”

Zareen just shrugged. The rogue was lost for words. She was completely entranced by the spectacle of Lialeth’s blowjob.

Lialeth’s veil had slipped from her head, and her face was drenched in drool and precum. Normally that would have scandalized her, but now she seemed completely oblivious. She looked nothing like a holy woman of any kind. Zareen’s image of the prim, proper cleric was being shattered beyond repair.

“You’re so… so big!” Lialeth exclaimed, pulling for long enough for just one deep breath. She sounded faintly annoyed, like it was rude of Ghelda to present her with such a large workload. “How… how vulgar.”

Zareen raised an eyebrow.

Clearly, Lialeth wasn’t to be deterred by the task at hand. As soon as she’d caught her breath, she returned to noisily and eagerly deep-throating Ghelda. She wrapped both of her hands around the barbarian’s thick shaft, jerking her off as she sucked and licked, seemingly caught up in the intricacies of some unfathomable ritual.

“Uuurr… mmusk,” Lialeth managed to choke out, with her mouth full of cock. “Sssooo… stron… nneed to… clleeasee you.”

Noticing the thick, musky, sweaty scent that clung to Ghelda only seemed to make Lialeth even more frenzied. One of her hands lightly grazed Ghelda’s full, heavy balls, and it was like a light had been switched on in her head. With a loud slurping sound, the cleric extracted Ghelda’s cock from her throat and lifted it up so that she could lean forwards and bury her face in the barbarian’s balls.

“Fuckkkkk!” Ghelda moaned, as Lialeth started tonguing her. “Didn’t know you were such a freak, Lialeth!”

“A… hrrrng… freak?” Lialeth could barely make room to speak between strokes of her tongue as she drooled all over the hulking barbarian’s sack. “How… nngg… dare you! I’m just… ockkk… a devoted… priestess!”

Ghelda let out a wild laugh, thick with pleasure. Lialeth’s hands were still working her cock, stroking up and down furiously as the cleric utterly smothered herself with Ghelda’s balls. From the way Ghelda’s shaft was starting to throb and twitch, it was obvious she was getting close.

“Whatever you say!” Ghelda grunted. “Here it comes, priestess!”

She came. A huge, thick stream of cum erupted from the tip of her cock in massive, rhythmic spurts, flying through the air in an arc to land directly onto Lialeth’s face. Lialeth took her mouth off of Ghelda’s body so that she could lift her face, basking in the shower of cum like it was manna from heaven. The look on her face was one of perfect, self-satisfied contentment. It was clear that in her mind, this was a job well done. This was the pinnacle of her devotion.

As usual, Ghelda’s orgasm stretched on for almost half a minute. All the while, her balls worked overtime to keep spewing forth load after load of cum. Zareen knew full well that Ghelda’s virility was the stuff of legends. Lialeth gratefully took every last load; some fell in her open mouth, which she swallowed happily, and the rest simply dripped down her face to stain her robes, leaving her holy attire hopelessly stained and soiled with Ghelda’s thick-smelling seed.

To Lialeth, this was nothing more or less than a blessed sacrament.

Then, she turned to Zareen.

“Oh,” Lialeth panted. Her whole body was heaving with each breath, and cum was oozing past her lips as she spoke. “You… I didn’t even… finish.”

She looked exhausted, but nonetheless started crawling back over to Zareen. The rogue was still completely stunned. She knew, on some level, that this was unnatural. It had to be. This wasn’t Lialeth. The cum-drenched woman heading towards her and licking her lips looked like something between a succubus and a back-alley whore. The cleric Zareen knew would never sink to this level. Not in a thousand years.

But somehow, the sight was so debauched, so utterly debased in its hedonism, she couldn’t quite find it in herself to refuse.

“Um, hey,” came a nasally, uneven voice from outside the tent. Hecatz. “You guys need to either keep it down or, uh, let me join in.”

Zareen and Ghelda exchanged faintly mortified looks, but Lialeth didn’t miss a single beat.

“Yes!” Lialeth called out eagerly. “Come in! Join us!”

“Um, was that…?”

Hecatz lifted the tent flap and peered inside, and almost jumped out of her skin at what she saw.

“Absolutely not,” the warlock breathed, shocked. She looked to Zareen and Ghelda for some kind of explanation.

“She’s…” Zareen began, before falling silent. What was she supposed to say? She’s come around? She’s gone crazy? Somehow, neither of those explanations would be sufficient.

“What are you doing?” Lialeth said sternly, ignoring the confusion of her party members. She rose to her feet, and seemed just as oblivious to the way Ghelda’s cum was dripping from her robe in streams. “Hurry up! We are partaking in the goddess’s sacred rites. Don’t you want me to make you pure, as I have Ghelda?”

Hecatz’s face cracked into an uneven smile as she glanced between Lialeth, drenched in cum, and Ghelda, her still-hard cock twitching between her legs.

“T-this is a joke, right?” Hecatz said nervously. “You’re just-“

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Lialeth said primly. “I’m simply going to-“

She broke off abruptly. Lialeth tilted her head, and it was as if she was listening to some unheard voice. All of the party members knew that expression. Lialeth was hearing her goddess. They paused with bated breath to see what would happen next.

“Yes, my divine lady.” A serene smile washed over Lialeth’s face, and she stretched out a hand towards Hecatz. “Give me your grimoire.”

“My-“ Hecatz was immediately shaking her head. Her grimoire was, as ever, hanging from a loop on the belt around her dress. It was the font of her dark power, every bit as potent as a wizard’s staff. “No! No way! I mean you’re just going to destroy it, or purify it, or- hey!”

Impatiently, Lialeth reached out and snatched the heavy, leather-bound book away from the warlock. Before anyone could stop her, she opened it and held out a hand above its pages. Her hand started to glow, although the usual golden radiance of her divine magic was poisoned through by purple veins of corruption.

“There!” Lialeth announced after a moment. Keeping the grimoire open, she tossed it on the ground outside the tent. Zareen and Ghelda both sprang to their feet and ran out after it.

“What did you do?” Ghelda demanded.

It was Hecatz who answered. “She… oh, hells!” The warlock started sweating bullets. “S-she unsealed something!”

As the party watched, a glowing red glyph appeared in the air above the book. Then, something started coming through it as if it was parting a curtain, only there was nothing on the other side except for thin air.

It was a tentacle.

“Why worry?” Lialeth scoffed. She sounded just like her old self, when she was lecturing the other party members about their perceived shortcomings. “You often use this creature for your self-pleasure, Hecatz. The goddess has told me as much.”

The warlock turned bright red. “That’s n-n-not-“

“Rest assured,” Lialeth continued, with an air of supreme benevolence. “Even the most profane monstrosities can become instruments for the goddess’s great gift!”

Another tentacle emerged through the grimoire. Then another, then another. Soon, it became clear: this creature was nothing more than a seething, writhing mass of reaching tentacles. Each appendage was tipped with a distinctly suggestive tip, and each one dripped with slick, sticky, heady secretions.

“A-are you insane?” Hecatz asked. The tentacle beast was crawling towards where she and Lialeth were standing, getting closer inch by inch. “You’re… you’re not…”

“Trust me,” Lialeth told her. Her robes were ruined and she was still drenched with cum, but she managed to sound like a kindly priestess comforting a child. “Cleanse your soul. Accept my blessing.”

She reached out to Hecatz once more, and shoved her back towards the tentacle beast.

Hecatz tumbled back, hopelessly off-balance - but the creature that had been sealed within her grimoire surged forward to catch her. Within the blink of an eye, dozens of tentacles were wrapped around Hecatz’s body, lifting her into the air and binding her in place. She struggled, but it was for naught; the more she writhed and squirmed, the tighter the tentacles seemed to hold her.

“Lialeth!” Hecatz shrieked in protest. “What are you- ah!”

As the tentacles started to explore her body, Hecatz broke off into a moan - and then turned bright red with shame. Evidently, Lialeth had been correct. The tentacle beast seemed well used to feeling and groping Hecatz this way, and the warlock was clearly equally as attuned to its touch. She was trying to stifle them, but more and more moans were slipping past Hecatz’s lips, and the way her back arched when a tentacle snaked its way up her dress was anything but innocent.

“Do you see?” Lialeth said smugly. “It feels wonderful to allow the goddess to accept you into her bosom.”

The tentacle beast was beginning to undress Hecatz, ripping her black dress apart as its tentacles stretched and undulated across her body. Beneath her shapeless clothes, it turned out that Hecatz was hiding quite the body. She was certainly on the chubby side, and all of the weight and fat had gone to the perfect places: her thighs were thick, juicy pillars, her fat ass was jiggling and quivering alluringly as the tentacles squeezed it, and her belly was a delightful, soft pouch that just begged to be squeezed and massaged.

And the tentacles were eager to oblige.

Possessed of an unfathomable, alien curiosity, they explored all over Hecatz’s body without discernment, groping, squeezing, stroking, massaging, fucking. All over, she was dripping with the creature’s secretions, but that wasn’t all: her thighs were just as slick with her own wetness. Hecatz’s moans were coming long and loud now, but she was still resisting, tossing and turning in the tentacles’ embrace to try and keep it from entering her mouth or her cunt.

Lialeth pursed her lips and made a displeased ‘tch’.

“Why must you fight the goddess’s will?” she tutted. “Allow me to guide you by example.”

With those words, she stepped forward into the tentacle beast’s embrace. Dozens of the creature’s endless appendages raced towards her, but they seemed to sense the cleric’s submission. They didn’t bind her or lift her into the air. Instead, they caressed her like a lover, steadily wrapping themselves around her arms and lifting the hem of her dress.

As if in prayer, Lialeth fell to her knees. An expression of rapturous joy was etched onto her face.

Her robe didn’t last long. Already hopelessly soiled with Ghelda’s cum, it quickly fell to shreds when the tentacles started forcefully peeling it away from Lialeth’s body. Unlike Hecatz’s, her form was trim and slender, the product of discipline and privation. The tentacles didn’t seem to mind. Four of them wrapped around her thighs and another two around her tits, and then three entire tentacles plunged as deep as they could into Lialeth’s pussy.

The cleric let out a wordless cry of perfect bliss.

The tentacles immediately started pounding in and out of Lialeth with inhuman vigor. Anyone else would have been reduced to senseless twitching by their ravenous attention, but something spurred Lialeth on; kept her active and focused despite the pleasure. With each hand, she reached for a tentacle and guided them gently towards her mouth. The tentacles responded eagerly, and immediately pushed past her parted lips so they could start fucking her throat.

The tentacles reached even deeper inside her than Ghelda’s cock. Impaled from both ends, Lialeth was completely helpless. But still, the gagging noises emerging from her throat made it clear that she was still striving to pleasure the creature, and from the manic look in her eyes, it was obvious this was exactly where she wanted to be.

Watching from the sidelines, Zareen and Ghelda were utterly stunned. It was more unbelievable than ever that this could possibly be any kind of sacred ritual.

Somehow, though, it seemed to be working. Seduced by the tentacle creature’s ministrations, Hecatz was slowly relaxing into its grip, allowing the phallic tips of its many limbs to tease the entrances to her cunt and her ass. And it was plenty obvious to Zareen that she wasn’t trying to pull away anymore either.

Just for a moment, Zareen entertained the thought of joining the orgy. Why not? It was sure to be an experience.

“Lialeth!” came a sudden cry from the treeline. “In the goddess’s name, what are you doing?”

Like a blazing phoenix, Mireille descended on the tentacle beast.

There was no weapon in her hand, but she put her prodigious strength to good use prying Lialeth away from the creature. The cleric’s indignant protests meant nothing to the hero, and soon enough, she had Lialeth hefted in her arms, free from the tentacles. Without missing a beat, she sprinted back away from the camp and into the woods.

After running for several hundred yards, Mireille came to a halt and set Lialeth down. The cleric glared at her, but Mireille seemed to miss her antipathy.

“Lialeth!” Mireille cried. “I looked for you at the spring, but… goddess, what was happening? Was it Hecatz? Don’t tell me she…”

“No!” Lialeth scoffed. “She’s not the type. And do you think she could touch me without the goddess’s permission? Please!”

“Then why-“

“The real question,” Lialeth said, drawing herself up to her full height, “is why you imagine you can just run in and interrupt one of my sacred rituals? You may be a destined hero, but that doesn’t mean you can defy the will of the gods!”

Dumbstruck, Mireille just blinked. “H-huh?”

“This is just typical!” Lialeth complained. She was oblivious to her own nakedness. “I finally persuade the others to turn to the righteous path, and something has to get in the way! But I didn’t expect it to be you, Mireille. I thought better of you!”

Mireille’s jaw dropped. “Is this a joke?” she asked. “Lialeth, that was… I mean, isn’t that exactly what you’re always complaining about?”

“Of course not!” Lialeth shot back. “What are you talking about? That was holy!”

“It was exactly the kind of debauchery the cultists were practicing!” Mireille cried. “This… no. This isn’t natural. Something is wrong. Very wrong.”

Guided by her superior instincts, Mireille peered intently at the indignant Lialeth, searching for any hint of enchantment. At that very moment, the clouds parted and a beam of moonlight shone through a gap in the canopy above. Lialeth’s face was illuminated, and Mireille gasped at what she saw.

The cleric’s eyes were glowing a distinct, sinister purple.

“We’re wasting time,” Lialeth huffed impatiently. “We need to get back! I need to consecrate you too, Mireille.”

“No,” Mireille breathed, horrified. “No, I need to stop this. I need to warn the others, and break whatever spell you’re under, and-“

“Oh, for the love of the goddess!” Lialeth exclaimed. She raised her hand, drew on her magic once more, and directed it all straight at Mireille. “Dominatus personae!”

When the spell hit Mireille, there was no resistance. The hero’s willpower was formidable, but she simply wasn’t prepared. Lialeth was her trusted comrade, after all. Mireille’s shoulders slumped and her face went completely slack, all that concern and alarm giving way to placid, mindless obedience. Her arms fell to her sides, and Mireille started swaying from side to side just a little with each gust of wind. She was like a marionette whose strings had been cut.

The fated hero was completely and totally entranced.

“That’s better!” Lialeth said smugly. “I’m sorry, Mireille. But now that I’m finally getting everybody on the right track, I simply can’t risk you getting cold feet and ruining everything. I have a higher calling, after all.”

Mireille didn’t respond. She just stood there, staring, eyelids drooping and eyes glassy.

“You’ll forgive me,” Lialeth decided. “After all, you’ll feel so much better once we’ve purified you. You and all the others, of course. We’ll get you out of that armor, and once we’re back at camp we can get you into the arms of that wonderful creature Hecatz was keeping sealed away. Soon, all of us will be one with the goddess.”

“Yes, Lialeth,” Mireille replied in a flat monotone, now that she had been given something approaching a command. Moving stiffly, she started unfastening the clasps that held her armor in place and, one by one, its pieces clattered uselessly to the ground.

“Good,” Lialeth said approvingly, once the hero’s fine, athletic body was completely exposed. “Now, come along. I must make sure the others aren’t getting cold feet.”

If they were, she was sure another spell could fix it. Nothing could be allowed to stop her now. Not when she was so close to bringing the whole party together in a single, blessed congregation.

All of her doubts were in the past now. In retrospect, they were foolish. Embarrassing, even. Lialeth could hear the voice of the goddess. And as usual, her goddess had told her exactly what to do. All she had to do - all she’d ever had to do - was have faith.

Well done, my child, that voice was saying to her, as she led Mireille back to the incipient tentacle orgy at their camp. You’ve proved more useful than I could have imagined. Now I have the fated hero in my grasp! Soon, she’ll be just as devoted as you are. And after that, there will be no limits to my reach. All the land will know my touch and my gift. And it’s all thanks to you.

Lialeth just nodded in blissful rapture. It was all thanks to her. She couldn’t have asked for a better reward than those words. Soon, her struggles to make people listen to her divine teachings would be a thing of the past.

Everyone would understand. She was the voice of the goddess.

---

I would like to express my gratitude for the generosity of all those who support me on Patreon, and to give a special thanks to the following patrons in particular for their exceptional support:

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[generalluxun]

Fanfiction: Swimming in Circles, Chapter 1

Just a little fic in honor of Pride Month. University-aged Marinette encounters a new guy who turns her world upside down in a post-hawkmoth, post-Adrien(but still friends!) world.

Link to the fic on my AO3 page in bio, full test of the chapter under the cut. As always comments welcome.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was in trouble, and she knew it. It was a familiar kind of trouble, but one that hadn’t come knocking in years. The flushed cheeks, the sweaty palms -even underwater- and the sudden lack of coordination that was all the more alarming in her current activity.  You see, Marinette was swimming, or trying to at this point, and making a bad job of it all things considered.

Normally her laps were peaceful, serene, a great way to unwind from classes. She would grab one of the two lanes set aside for laps at the pool and burn through her 1.5 Kilometers without incident. She’d been doing it for years, ever since conquering her fear. It also just felt good to know that not all of her physical prowess came from a pair of earrings. This time she’d bumped into the wall, fouled herself in the lane lines, and swallowed enough water to make herself feel queasy. She stopped at the shallow end and clung to the wall, barely daring to peek at the cause of her problems.

He was blond, so maybe I have a type, his hair was so feathery and light it made her fingers itch to run through it. It was cut just above the shoulders, and had body Marinette would kill for. Sunglasses atop his head, which wasn't uncommon for lifeguards, but he wore them like a tiara. Eyes bluer than the deep end, at least that part is different, and one of those cocky little easy smiles that flashed perfect teeth and made her toes curl.

Sleek and cuddleable, but with just enough firm muscle that she could imagine herself feeling safe in his arms. The cropped white T-shirt he wore with his red trunks gave a full view of abs she could lay her head on all day. Over all of it was body language that kept pulling her back. Some lifeguards were Lords, some were bored, some were just there to pick up, this guy felt like he both owned the pool and was glad people were enjoying it. It was casual confidence in a slouch that was disarming without being sloppy.

In her mind, he turned to her. Those deep blues widening slightly before one eyebrow arched in a playful smirk, and he said, ”hey.”

She knew it was only in her head, but still she was powerless. She sank lower in the water to soothe her inflamed cheeks. She was in university now, and so her brain had a lot more to work with than the last time she’d had this kind of a reaction to a guy.

“Hey.” the word echoed again; gentle, teasing.

“Hey.” Forceful this time, louder. His tone was rich, but the joke never left it.

“Lane 1!”

Marinette blinked and shook her head. She was lane one right now. She looked up, and.. He really was looking at her. Confusion and bemusement playing across his features. Marinette managed a juddering, ”Y-yes?”

He extended the arm he wasn’t leaning on in his high-backed Lifeguard’s chair. waggling the fingers of his hand towards the side of the pool, “Pauses are okay, but if you need a longer breather, could you get out of the lane and let someone else swim a few laps?”

"Oh!" Marinette sank slightly lower in shame, then slunk to the ladder.

As she climbed out another swimmer slipped into the lane and began their own exercise immediately. Marinette mastered her blush and glanced one more time back at the lifeguard, he gave her a tip of his head and a thousand watt smile before turning his eyes back to the pool. Marinette fast-walked to her seat, dried her hands and snatched her phone up in a heartbeat.

Marinette:OMG OMG OMG

Marinette:Hot guy alert!

She flipped to a second conversation and wrote something a little more coherent.

Marinette:I think I did it! Slump defeated!

A notification came in on the first conversation. 

Alya: hot, or hothot? Are we talking another 'he's pretty Alya, but he's not…'

Marinette: Hothot. Clumsinette hot. All systems are functioning hot. What do I doooooo, hot.

Alya:Yes! Yesyesyes! Congrats, M! So, you gonna move in, or just bask in your revival?

That was a real question. Marinette was still too giddy to decide. It had been so long, since Adrien, for a guy to do this to her. She'd dated guys who were 'nice'. She still wanted a relationship in her life, despite assurances from all sides that there was no rush. Marinette knew she was a girl who liked having a partner, even if she could make it on her own.

After she and Adrien had broken up in the gentlest of ways, she had just lost the spark. Mourning first love, drowning in schoolwork, still Ladybug after Hawkmoth, there were plenty of reasons. That didn't make it hurt any less. Finding she could get this excited about anything, anyone again, it was a victory. Marinette's thumbs spend across her screen.

Marinette: Should I? I don't want to come on too strong and spook him. He might have a girlfriend! Maybe this is better just to admire from afar? I'm going to send you a picture!

Another notification came in while she was typing, from the other conversation.

Adrien: Woo hoo! I feel like I should be jealous but I'm just glad to hear it! Tell me about him, her, them?

Marinette: not that far yet! I just had to tell someone or I was gonna explode! How's Kagami?

Marinette exited out to open up her camera. Then a convoluted process began of trying to take a picture without looking like she was trying to take a picture. She got one she wasn't entirely happy with. Mr. Lifeguard was looking to the side, and there were shadows in the way, but she sent it off to Alya anyway.

Adrien: she's good, we're good. Don't think you need to reassure me, marinette. This is about you! I gotta go though, text me later! We still on for this weekend?

Marinette stuck her phone back in her bag and had a little war with herself. No. She decided. I'll just enjoy this, keep coming to the pool, and not wreck a good thing the moment I find it.

Resolved, Marinette walked back over to take up a spot waiting for one of the lap-lanes to be free. She even flashed Mr. Lifeguard a smile when he glanced her way. She got a playful eye roll in return over a smile in return, and it had her bouncing on her toes.

While she waited ideas started to creep in of their own accord. When it was her turn again, Marinette jumped into the water with possible scenarios coalescing in her mind. She swam her first lap to a candlelight dinner. Her second and third to talking on a rooftop -who cared if it didn't make sense. Her fourth through sixth were hushed whispers and sweet nothings. Her seventh was imagining something entirely too personal so so-

Light and pain exploded in Marinette's head. She'd missed her turn and powered full speed into the end of the lane. She opened her mouth, swallowing water. she darted for the surface but was turned around and careened into the bottom of the pool, scraping her shoulder. Chlorine was burning her lungs, forcing her mouth open again in a cough that spent the last of her precious air before she pulled in even more water. She flailed in a sudden desperation, for Ladybug of all people to drown in less than two meters of water.

A strong arm encircled her neck and shoulder. Marinette lashed out blindly in her panic but the grip held and she was yanked bodily from the pool.

Light, sunlight this time, blinded her. She was rolled onto her side firmly and spit up lungfuls of pool water. Someone was rubbing her back.

“Can you hear me? Not too waterlogged?"

Mr. Lifeguard's face swam into focus. Marinette's first thought: He's wearing eyeliner, blended into her second: His makeup game is on point. Followed by realizing what must have happened, and her old friend, humiliation, of course.

At least she was coherent, "Yes, I-I'm okay."

His eyes stared into hers for a long second then flicked up to her head. The hand on her back moved up, pulling off her cap and running fingers through her hair with a professional firmness. Marinette winced when he found the bump.

His eyes came back to hers. "No dilation, no bleeding, you can go to the front office and have a seat for a bit if you want, just to make sure."

Concussion, Marinette reasoned. She shook her head and the world didn't spin. She sat up, everything was still stable. "No, I think I'm okay. I've had worse."

That got a warm laugh out of him, and the pounding in her head lessened for it. "The walls can jump out at you. Take your time, no need to rush."

He sat back on his heels, then stood and offered her a hand up. Marinette took it without catching fire, which just showed how far she'd come since collége days. "I know. You'd think after years I would be able to do it in my sleep, but sometimes my head gets elsewhere and…" she shrugged helplessly.

"Some things never change."

Instantly their roles were reversed. Marinette's curiosity spiked, while Mr. Lifeguard was suddenly abashed.

Before Marinette could reply he stepped back, "Well, I have to get back to my chair. People complain if we aren't visible. Take care, and remember, swim safe." He was back up at his post while Marinette was still struggling with her thoughts. He knows me? How does he know me? Oh god, what does he know about me?

[cognitosclowns]

I love that alpha beta makes mechanical sounds? When he's running up the stairs away from Brett and Reagan we can hear his legs making that whining noise its so good. Not a request I just LOVE THOSE DETAILS

AAAA GOD I FEEL THE EXACT SAME. GRRKGKRKR YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY BRAIN IM SORRY <333

ALL SFW

LISTEN I <3333 AM A MESS FOR ROBOTS SO YOU'RE GETTING A BUNCH OF Extra Headcanons About AB's Robot Noises

LIKE /HE/ DOESN'T NOTICE THEM BUT YOU DEFINITELY DO??

it does take a while to figure out what each sound correlates to though. Like at first you just notice Oh His Eyes Make Noise Sometimes. Sometimes His Chest Makes A Weird Noise. It's only after a few months that you,,, actually notice Oh Shit Theres A Pattern Here-

HIS FANS ARE PROBABLY THE HARDEST TO NAIL???

Because like,, their purpose is to Cool His Insides, etc etc, but there's A LOT OF REASONS HE COULD BE OVERHEATING.

though there is definitely a difference to the noise when they start up bc of temperature?? Much more monotonous!!

If he's angry its this,, vv deep whirring sound?? Like this Heavy Droning Noise that goes between Very Subtle and Overbearing.

IF HE'S FLUSTERED ITS WAY SHARPER N HIGH-PITCHED?? Not painful to listen to, just noticably higher!!

Sometimes its hard to point out bc,, it'll click on for a few seconds, then off again!! (might jump up if he stumbled over his words, tripped over smth, etc. He's very prideful so little things like that make him FLUSTERED sdmnsd)

BUT IF HE'S PROPERLY RUFFLED???? <3333 he sounds like an AC unit I stg smndsmd.

HIS FANS GOING BATSHIT IS AS CLOSE AS HE CAN GET TO BLUSHING <333 DO WITH THAT WHAT YOU WILL

Whirring of eyes = staring very intensely, that's kinda obvious - he will sometimes get his eyes stuck bc Hes ~Dramatic~ and rolls them too hard smdnsmdnd.

WHEN HE'S WORRIED?? you'll hear smth akin to like the tic-tic-tic of a clock?? Whenever he's nervous he subconsciously starts doing diagnostics on his own systems!!

When he clenched his jaw theres,, an audible Whirring of Some Mechanism Being Strained. 99% of the time it's bc he's resisting the urge to smack smb.

GOD there's even just,, mundane stuff?? Like hearing the slight whirr of his fingers when he cups his cheek or plays with your hair?? <333

AT FIRST HE DOESN'T REALIZE WHY YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL WHATS ON HIS MIND?? Hes A Perfect Creation, Hes Completely Unreadable How The Fuck Are You Doing This. It would be frustrating if it wasn't

'Oh love </3 I just have a cold!! You don't need to be worried <3'

'how did you-?'

'Your fans are ticking <3 we've been dating for 3 years, you really think I can't tell when you're upset? <3'

AND,,, <333 GOD DOESN'T HIS MOTOR JUST START WHIRRING LIKE ITS ABOUT TO POP OUTTA HIS CHEST BC <333 >:( you're being loving and attentive and paying attention to the intricacies of how he works. Goddamit he's hopelessly endeared once again >:(( you bastard <3

ALSO MISC STUFF???

<33 pressing your head to his chest sounds like,, pressing your ear to your laptop/computer. Just that,, vvv quiet humming??

If he was at Full Functioning Capacity there'd be a lot less of those little details but he's currently been torn in half so YEA SMNDSM THE SOUNDS OF HIS MACHINERY WORKING ARE A LOT MORE NOTICABLE?? after he gets put back together it stops sounding like a Jet Engine Landing whenever he notices you smdnsSDMSNDM

Okay I can't tell if they put the Slightest Bit Of Autotune Over Every Line He Says, or if Chris Diamantopoulos' voice is just,, super gravelly but <333 YEA. no related thoughts here I'm just.. wowowow his voice. Gee golly <3

okay maybe a few thoughts <33

CAUSE,,, YKNOW, THE CLASSIC THING OF His Voice Glitches When He Shows Extreme Emotion (tm) IS ALWAYS FUN <333

like sometimes when he calls you My Love/My Darling Human/etc you'll hear his voice skip a few times bc <333 he's so in love <3

RRRR SOMETIMES WHEN HE LAUGHS IT SKIPS LIKE A VINYL RECORD. only when he's laughing really hard <333 so it's pretty rare to hear. It can be unnerving to some ppl bc,, it gets this Layered Effect but <333 you love it

gay gay homosexual gay <3 MSDNSMD THANK YOU FOR THIS IT WAS LOVELY

[tlcwrites]

Two Hearts Make a Whole

Prompt: “Kiss me again, like you mean it.” Photo prompt below.

Summary: NYC Pride is for celebration, and occasionally, long-overdue revelations.

Word Count: 2,001

Tags/Content warnings: Marvel. Stucky. If you have a problem with it, there's the door. SFW. Slight TFATWS spoilers so read at your own risk. Platonic Reader. Two idiots in love. Technically canon-divergent because I'm still in my everyone-is-alive-and-in-this-timeline happy place that I will never ever leave fuck you very much Russo brothers but not AU. Found family. All the feels. Complete and total LGBTQ+ support. Lots of bad language words because #me. Un-beta'd.

Author’s Note: Okay so yes this is technically 4 weeks late for @autumnleaves1991-blog's Writer Wednesday weekly challenge. BUT, it was incredibly important to me to finish this one before Pride month is over. Made it by the skin of my teeth.

Happy Pride, y’all. If you’re out, you’re amazing. If you’re closeted, you’re amazing. However you identify is valid and important. Trans folx are LGBTQ+. Bisexuals are LGBTQ+. Ace folx are LGBTQ+. Anyone who identifies or thinks they may be as queer is LGBTQ+. All are welcome in the family. You have the right to choose your pronouns and we have the responsibility to use them. Live whatever your truth looks like to you and love each other. Love is love is love is love. If your family doesn’t accept you for you, I’m your mom now and I’ve got mom hugs available on demand. Homophobes and TERFS can fuck off and roll in poison ivy. Always punch Nazis. Pride shouldn't be limited to the month of June. And don’t you dare forget that Black and Brown trans women were the ones who rioted at Stonewall, and we owe everything to their bravery. Don’t forget that much of popular ‘gay’ culture was appropriated from Black women. And for more facts about Pride that you should absolutely know, Rawiyah Tariq (@ mammyisdead on Instagram) has a phenomenally good overview.

“Oh my god.” You gasp loudly. "Oh my GOD. Is that-"

“What?!” Instantly in First Avenger Protective Mode™️, Steve surveys the crowd, wishing he had an actual shield instead of the screen printed one on his shirt. “What is it?”

You gasp again, smacking Sam’s arm repeatedly. “OHMYGOD IT IS HOLY FUCK.”

“First; ow.” Now-Cap rubs his bicep. “Second; clue in the class before Steve has an aneurysm, please.”

Vibrating with excitement doesn’t begin to describe your current state. “HER ROYAL HIGHNESS MISS LEMON MERINGUE IS STANDING RIGHT FUCKING THERE.”

With the finesse of a shampoo commercial, Bucky's dark locks fly as he whips around. “What?!”

“RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE.” You abandon a relieved Sam and latch on to Bucky’s vibranium arm. “Oh my GOD I love her so fucking much.”

“She was robbed, absolutely fucking robbed,” he agrees, craning his neck to get a better view. “Divine Tension’s lip sync was shameful.”

Sam glances at Steve, who is slowly coming out of protector mode. “What the ever-loving hell are they talking about?”

“RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Nat flicks more confetti at both Cap-the-former and Cap-the-current. “They watch it every week.”

“Really, Steven, for a guy with enhanced super senses, you miss a lot.” Tony hefts a bedazzled Morgan higher on his back. The toddler, accompanied by Scott playing air-piano on the ground, sings along with the ABBA song being blasted at full volume through the street. Tony continues as if this is an everyday occurrence. “Why do you think both of your People disappear every Friday evening?”

Ears pink, Steve mumbles something.

“What?!” The only other one with hearing enhanced enough to hear a murmur over the cacophony of several thousand people belting out the chorus of ‘Dancing Queen’ at the top of their lungs, Bucky turns to stare at his friend. “You thought we were datin’?”

Steve’s blush extends down his neck.

You and Bucky stare at each other for a moment before you both collapse on each other, exploding into stomach clenching, thigh slapping laughter.

“I’m gonna guess that’s a ‘no’?” Clint confirms with Nat.

“Oh, a big ‘no’.” She watches affectionately as you and Bucky calm down enough to look at each other, breathe for a second, and both promptly dissolve into hysterics once more. “Like, the biggest ‘no’.”

Sam crossed his arms across his chest, his stoic stance so reminiscent of Steve it’s amusing (as well as a beautiful disparity to the sequined crop top he’s sporting. Oof, those abs.). “How do I not know about this?”

“Because you’re not a former super spy?” The usually-Black-but-today-Rainbow Widow tosses the last of her confetti at Tony, who spins a jubilant Morgan into it. “Or because you and that leggy barista from the lobby coffee shop are too busy playing hide-the-“

“-Baby Shark!” Morgan suddenly shrieks, flailing towards a guy on roller blades wearing a fin and tail (and not much else).

“Yeah,” Nat finishes with a smirk, “Hide-the-Baby Shark.”

Sam flips her a gesture that makes Clint laugh and Bruce sigh.

You and Bucky have finally managed to pull yourselves together. “Oh my god, Steven Grant,” you gasp, wiping tears from your eyes. “That’s the funniest fucking shit I’ve ever fucking heard.”

“Language!”

Steve glares at Tony. “One. Time. It was one. Time.”

Bucky slings his flesh arm around Steve’s shoulders. “Oh, punk. You may have perfect vision now, but sometimes you’re still as blind as you were before.”

Visiortn himself nods sagely. “Humans can be quite unperceptive when it comes to matters of the heart.” Vision casts a fond smile at Wanda, who is using her powers to make Pietro’s tinsel wig fly on and off. “Sometimes you have to look harder to see what’s right in front of your nose.”

A confused frown on that handsome face, Captain Clueless looks at Bucky. “Why do I feel like everyone else knows something that I don’t?”

His bestie sighs deeply. “Because, Stevie, almost everyone else on this planet knows that my tastes tend towards tall, blonde, blue-eyed knuckleheads who have zero sense of self-preservation.”

“And an ass you could bounce a quarter off of,” Scott helpfully supplies.

“And that,” Bucky agrees.

Steve frowns.

You press your palms to your eyes in vexation. “You, Steve. He’s talking about you.” (Seriously, how has this idiot survived for over a century while being so dumb?)

Whatever he was expecting, it was certainly not that. “He-“ The Man With A Plan gapes as he turns to his oldest friend. “You-“

“Me,” Bucky says gently.

Even though you’re slightly surprised that Bucky is going to do this in such a public forum, you can’t help but be so proud of your friend. It has taken a long time for Bucky to believe he deserves to be happy. There are days he still sinks into that dark place, where his inner demons whisper that he should have fought harder against his Hydra captors, and that his past actions were still somehow his fault. Those are the days no amount of baking or Modern Marvels will bring him out of his funk. You, Steve, Sam, and Nat have all held those strong shoulders as they shook with sobs, overwhelmed by the shame and horror at what his hands had done without his consent.

But he’s here. He’s free. And he’s smiling nervously at his best friend.

“I-” Steve is short-circuiting. “Me?!”

“Stevie.” With the kind of tender patience that can only be born of a lifetime of keeping (or attempting to keep) an idiot such as one Steven Grant Rogers from flinging himself headlong into every fight he comes across, Bucky moves his flesh hand to the back of Steve’s neck. His face is full of such soft affection that you almost want to look away for fear of intruding on this suddenly intimate moment. “What do you think ‘til the end of the line’ means, you idiot? You’ve been it for me since I was thirteen-years-old.”

Blue eyes are locked with blue eyes as Steve processes this revelation. “I-” He shakes his head as if to declutter his thoughts. “This whole time?”

“Since the first time I saw that asshole knock you down, and your scrawny ass climbed right back up.” A wry chuckle escapes as Bucky reminices. “You were ninety pounds soaking wet, and you stood there, against a guy who was three times your size, and never waivered for a second. It was magnificent.”

“I don’t like bullies,” is Steve’s quiet response.

Bucky’s grin is adoring. “I know, sweetheart.” He gently strokes the back of Steve’s neck with his thumb. “You’ve always had a heart way bigger than your brain.”

Steve is still back on the first part of Bucky’s admission. “If you’ve felt- if you-” He’s practically pleading. “Why didn’t you say anything then?”

Bucky shrugs, attempting and failing nonchalance. “It was a different time, you know?” He’s uncharacteristically unsure of himself, the subtle waiver in his voice revealing the anxiety born of a lifetime of being forced to hide his truth. “I mean, you remember how it was; you didn’t talk about, no one talked about- about being- about people like...” He swallows thickly.  “And I was so scared you didn’t, that you weren’t-” His voice breaks.

Even though you’ve all been emotionally invested in this love story for years, the entire team respectfully pretends not to listen as the former Winter Soldier quietly admits his deepest secret to his closest friend. It’s enraging as Bucky confesses yet another way he's been a victim of his circumstances, and denied his right to live freely without derision. Once more, you’re awed by his resilience.

“-it was a risk I couldn’t take,” Bucky finally gets out, that stubborn fire back in his eyes. “I couldn’t lose you, Steve. I couldn’t chance it. I could live with just being your friend and only your friend so long it meant you were in my life.”

Stunned silence meets the end of his confession. Steve’s face is impassive, those cerulean eyes uncharacteristically inscrutable.

You can all tell Bucky is heading steadily towards dread and heartbreak the longer Steve takes to respond. You and Sam exchange a look, both ready to intervene if Steve demonstrates any of the abhorrent attitudes that were so prevalent in the society of his youth. It would be completely out of character for him, but...

Finally, Steve speaks. “You’re telling me,” he says, his words slow and deliberate, “that you made me wait ninety-three years to tell me you’ve felt the same way about me as I have about you since the day you picked me up out of that alley?!”

The whole found family breaths a collective sigh of relief as Steve pulls Bucky even closer, broad chest to broad chest.

“Okay, to be fair, you were an ice cube for most of that time and I wasn’t exactly available for a relationship.” Bucky’s grin stands in contradiction to his mullish defense. “But yeah, that’s the gist of it.” There’s the Bucky you all know and love, biting his lip with those perfect white teeth. “Now, punk, I’d really like to kiss you now, but first I need you to say you want me to.”

“You-” Steve’s throat works as he attempts- and fails- to rein in his emotions. “You jerk.”

And then the Star Spangled Man seizes the president of the Sometimes-Former-Assassins Club by his ridiculously perfect face and crashes their mouths together.

At any Pride event, seeing two men kissing is, obviously, to be expected. But seeing The First Avenger and The White Wolf attempting to swallow each other’s tongues is not at all routine. As people realize what is happening, the crowd is whipped into a frenzy the likes of which is usually reserved for the aftermath of sporting events and elections that defeat fascists.

Watching the two men embrace, Scott sniffles loudly. “I’m gonna cry, I’m so happy.”

He’s certainly not the only one. Wanda has a watery smile as she wraps her arms around Vision and Pietro; Pepper, Tony, and Bruce are watching with fond parental energy; you and Sam sandwich Peter between the two of you, grins practically splitting your faces. Even Nat’s eyes look suspiciously shiny and she and Clint sling their arms around each other with platonic affection. And that’s not counting the several thousand people who are cheering for love being love being love being love.

When they finally break their embrace, the Centennial twins are startled to see they’ve collected quite an audience.

“Uh, so…” Suddenly bashful, Steve glances back to his- partner? Boyfriend? Soulmate? Is there a word that can accurately describe two people who have found each other time and again in a world that seems hell-bent on keeping them apart?- his ears practically maroon with embarrassment. For a guy with one of the most-recognized faces in the world, Steve is still incredibly and endearingly uncomfortable with attention. “Buck?”

Bucky seems just as stunned as Steve.

Thankfully, the masses demonstrate the usual support that’s the hallmark of Pride. “LOVE IS LOVE!” someone screams in the crowd. It’s quickly echoed, and chants fill the park.

The attention momentarily off them, the former Winter Soldier and his giant himbo of a soulmate look back at each other. You pretend not to watch through the happiest tears as they embrace again, bringing their foreheads together. The relief they share is palpable, as they’re finally able to show the world- and each other- the love they’ve each hidden for so long.

Bucky’s voice is so soft you have to strain to hear it. “You have no idea how much m’in love with you, Stevie.”

“Pretty sure I do,” Steve answers, bringing a hand up to carefully wipe the tears from Bucky’s face. “‘cause it’s as much as I love you, Buck.”

Bucky's answering grin can only be described as saucy. “Then kiss me again, like you mean it.”

And Steve, for once in his long life, does exactly as ordered.

---

A/N: “The Sometimes-Former-Assassins Club” is from Starry_Emerald173’s BRILLIANT The Avengers Wrangler over on AO3. If you haven’t read it yet, drop what you’re doing and do so immediately. Make sure you're not drinking any liquids, or your keyboard/phone may be in peril.

[radiantroope]

Passed Around || JJ Maybank

pairing: jj x reader

mentions: john b, pope, kiara

requested: no

summary: everyone in the outer banks has their opinions of you. a touron with a smart mouth learns just how quick jj will come to your defense.

warnings: underage consumption of drugs/alcohol, swearing, violence, blood

author’s note: i just started writing randomly and this was the product, enjoy.

masterlist | add yourself to my tag list

* i do not own this gif! if it’s yours, please let me know so i can properly credit you! *

Of course, there was another party at The Boneyard. No surprise there. Summer or Winter, there was always a party. The amount of people that filled the beach always somehow managed to surprise you, especially when it was off season for the tourists. Sometimes you’d still get a couple; people visiting family who lived on the island for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

It was the beginning of December and you’d just arrived at the beach, already hearing thumping music and loud laughter. The brisk ocean air was much colder than you preferred as it came off the ocean. You were yearning for those hot Summer nights again.

You pulled the jacket you were wearing tighter around yourself and continued on your way down to your friends. Just as you hopped over one of the dead and forgotten trees, you heard a shout of your name. You looked to the kegs and smiled when you saw Kiara waving her arm.

As you approached her, you raised an eyebrow at the three kegs set up. Three, how did they manage to score three? You didn’t ask, sometimes you were just better off not knowing. You gratefully took the plastic cup John B passed you and quickly drank some of the bitter liquid.

“Rough day?” the curly haired boy raised an eyebrow at you.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes but ranted anyway, “My grandma is still here. She was supposed to leave after Thanksgiving and now my parents tell me she’s staying all the way through Christmas! If I have to listen to her talk about what college I should go to or about boys any longer, I’m gonna go insane!”

“Does- she doesn’t know about JJ?” Kiara asked with her brows furrowed.

“Oh, she does, but she’s in some alternate reality where she thinks I’ll marry a Kook and be a trophy wife,” you retorted with a sarcastic smile on your face, “My mom’s told her a hundred times that JJ and I are together and nothing will change that.”

You looked over your shoulder at the said blonde who was sitting in a circle with some other teenagers. You saw smoke pillowing through the air and were hit with the faint smell of weed. JJ’s cerulean eyes caught yours and he smiled, waving for you to join him.

“Go, we’ll catch up about your crazy grandma later,” Kiara said, smiling at you.

You smiled back at the girl and turned to walk towards your boyfriend, calling over your shoulder, “Love you, Kie!”

You and JJ had gotten together about nine months ago. Years of longing looks and lingering touches were driving your friends insane. How could two people be so oblivious? Everyone knew your hearts were set on each other, but the two of you were always too stubborn to admit it. Plus, you didn’t want to be the one to break the no macking rule.

One day at the Chateau it boiled over when one of your hookups over stayed his welcome. JJ woke up for the third morning in a row to find the guy helping himself to his stash. He lost it. He wailed on the poor boy and literally kicked him out the door. This resulted in you insisting you liked him and the blonde calling bullshit.

“How do you know how I feel, JJ? You don’t!” you’d screamed, stomping your foot like an angry toddler who’d just been told no as you tried to get your point across.

“Yes I do! Pope told me you’re in love with me!”

Yeah, Pope spilled the beans after you made the drunken confession one night. You swore him to secrecy, but that boy couldn’t keep secrets to save his life most of the time. You still to this day would never let him live that down. But how could you stay mad at him when it resulted in the best possible outcome? JJ was yours, and you were his, finally.

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?” you flirted as you walked over to the blonde boy.

JJ smiled and laughed, shaking his head at you, “You’re rediculous.”

“But you love me,” you stated as you plopped yourself on his lap, sitting most of your weight on his thigh. His arm wrapped around your waist tightly and he pressed a sweet kiss to your cheek.

“Damn right I do.”

You watched as a blunt was passed around the group and listened in on the conversation, chimming in now and again. You took a few puffs yourself when JJ held it up to your lips. You weren’t a big smoker though. Half of the time it made you more anxious than it calmed your down.

JJ had gone to get you both refills on your beers but got distracted talking to Pope and John B. You took his seat and turned to watch him, smiling when he laughed and his eyes crinkled at the corners. His bright white teeth sparkled in the glow of a fire that was going. You watched as the breeze blew his cut off tank and you caught his muscles tense at the cold hair.

“So you and Maybank, huh?” a voice caught your attention and you whipped around.

A Touron, Dominic, who frequented the island this time of year sat in front of you. He had shaggy dark brown hair that was straight and fell around his face, barely touching his jaw. His eyes were a beautiful mossy shade of green. You probably would have hooked up with him in the past is he wasn’t known to be such an ass. He ran around with Rafe and his goons during the day and spent his nights on The Cut causing trouble. He was nicknamed “girlfriend stealer” after many-a-hookups that resulted in ended relationships.

“Yeah,” you responded blandly. There was no way in hell you were going to entertain this kid. He took pride in stealing people’s girls; you would not be one of them.

“You could do better,” Dominic remarked, an infuriating smirk growing on his face. You resisted the urge to slap it right off.

“Like you?” you scoffed, eyebrow raised. “Yeah, I’ll pass.”

“C’mon, Y/N, don’t act like you don’t want to. I remember the way you used to look at me.”

You clenched your jaw and pressed your lips into a line. You stared at him with a blank expression, the smirk on his face growing. He opened his mouth to say something else but was cut off.

“Everything okay over here?” JJ asked from behind you.

He’d seen the way Dominic was looking at you. He knew the game the little shit was playing, and it was a dangerous one. The group of teenagers in the circle you were sitting in looked between the three of you nervously. They all knew better than to push JJ, especially when it came to you. He was quick to fight - even quicker when it was over you.

“Yeah man! Just telling Y/N here she used to be a lot more fun before she got a boyfriend,” Dominic replied casually, shrugging his shoulders a bit.

You stood up and turned to face JJ, seeing that he’d handed your drink refills off to John B and Pope who stood behind him. He’d been anticipating this the moment he saw you two talking. You put your hands on the blonde’s chest and stared up at him.

“Let’s just go, J. It’s not a big deal.”

“Nah, I want to hear what he has to say,” JJ pushed your hands off his chest, eyes never leaving the brunette who was now standing.

Dominic snickered and pushed his hair back off his forehead, saying, “I heard she got passed around quite a bit. Rafe sure had a lot to say about her. Was hoping I could find out for myself.”

Low blow, asshole, you thought to yourself, feeling your stomach sink at the mention of the oldest Cameron sibling. You’d messed around with him long before you and JJ got together, Topper too. It put a rift between you and the Pogues for a while. They didn’t care who you slept with, as long as they weren’t Kooks, but you did what you wanted. JJ was the most upset. You were sleeping with the enemy.

JJ went to walk around you, ready to pummel Dominic into the sand. You grabbed the front of JJ’s shirt and pushed him back with all of your strength. You hated when he got in fights. You couldn’t watch. Most of the time he won, but when he didn’t, you had to clean him up. You tried to keep him out of them the best you could.

“Don’t, JJ, please,” you begged, pushing against his abs, “It’s not worth it.”

JJ’s eyes flickered down to yours, his cold gaze softening a bit when he looked at your pleading face.

“Wow, they weren’t kidding. You really are her bitch,” Dominic said through a laugh when he realized you were convincing JJ not to fight him.

“Shut the fuck up!” you yelled over your shoulder, pushing your boyfriend back once again.

It was useless, JJ managed to get past you, your hands grabbing onto his arms and shirt - whatever you could get ahold of to keep him back. John B grabbed your arm the second the blonde’s fist hit Dominic’s face. You looked back at your curly haired friend and he simply shook his head. Not even Pope moved, they were going to let the guy get his assbeat for talking about you like that. No one talked about you like that.

“Don’t ever talk about her like that again!” JJ yelled, arms swinging, “I’ll kill you, you hear me?! I’ll fucking kill you!”

You tried to shout your boyfriend’s name over the cheering from people watching the fight. He couldn’t hear you, still standing over Dominic who’d been knocked down. He landed blow after blow against the Touron’s face.

“Alright, JJ!” John B yelled, stepping forward.

“He’s had enough, man!” Pope added.

You breathed in deeply through your nose and closed your eyes for a second. As you opened your eyes, you screamed JJ’s name as loud as you could. It was so loud, everyone went quiet and their eyes turned to you.

The blonde froze, fist still pulled back mid swing. His anger fueled frenzy was over and he was brought back to Earth by your voice. He dropped Dominic, who was groaning in pain, into the sand by his shirt. His arm fell to his side and he turned to face you. He had blood trickling down from his nose but other than that, he seemed to be perfectly unharmed.

“Are you done?” you questioned, arms crossing over your chest with a raised brow.

JJ simply nodded in response and walked away from the boy he’d just seriously beaten. He approached you with slumped shoulders and sheepish expression, knowing you were going to scold him for getting in yet another fight. But how could he just stand there and let someone degrade you like that?

“Sorry,” he muttered softly and reached for you, slipping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you back towards the kegs. Kiara stood there, shaking her head as she had watched the altercation from afar.

“If he presses charges, you’re thouroughly fucked, you know that?” you asked him seriously. Though you brought your hand up and intertwined your fingers with his that was hanging off your shoulder.

The blonde boy nodded and took a cup of beer from Kie with his free hand. He downed it all in one go, grunting as he pulled the cup away from his lips. He gave it back for her to refill.

“I know you’re trying to defend me, J, but sometimes I wish you could just walk away,” you sighed and leaned into him, feeling a kiss against the top of your head.

“I’ll try to be better, promise,” he mumbled into your hair and when he pulled his head back you heard him laugh softly. He wiped his hand against your hair and when you looked up at him, he gave you an innocent smile. You saw the trail of blood leaving his nose was smeared and narrowed your eyes.

“You got blood in my hair, didn’t you?”

“Yup.”

[bloomyn]

slide into the drivers seat ; 01

in which your boss is one hell of a ride and you’re sitting shotgun. 

table of contents

pairing: chrollo lucilfer x f!reader

disclaimer: i know absolutely nothing about business school, so please disregard all inaccurate numbers

taglist: @kakashishoekage @revalise

. . . 

so apparently a business degree doesn’t get you a job immediately after grad school. 

the 85,000 dollar piece of paper that’s still in an envelope sitting on your dinner table is worthless, wonderful. well, not worthless per se, but it’s definitely not going to be helping you anytime soon, and by that you mean it doesn’t take an 85,000 dollar degree and four years of business school with privileged males (gross!) who think they know everything for you to answer a phone and schedule a meeting. 

but a job at phantom inc., even if it is being a secretary, is a much better bargain that you could’ve ever asked for. that’s what you tell yourself as you ride the elevator up to the 56th floor, “that’s where you’ll want to be!” the front desk secretary had told you, “shizuku will be expecting you!.”

truth be told, you didn’t know much about the position, just that you needed a job and your pride had gotten in the way of reaching out to other colleagues. they’d probably get off on the idea of you asking for help. 

assholes. 

“i had a feeling you’d be here again!”

you’re not even a full step out of the elevator when a woman with gold framed glasses and black bangs comes bouncing down the hall. she’s dressed more casually than expected and she’s got a --vacuum cleaner?-- charm hanging off her hip.

“ah, i’m [name]. they told me to come--”

“you’re in the right place!” she grins, ushering you towards the desk in front of you, “thank gods you’re here, the last girl quit so fast she hadn’t even gotten paid yet.”

“she what---”

the words go unnoticed [ignored], and before you can even shake hands, shizuku’s handing you a binder thicker than the bowl of overnigh oats you’d had in the car, ‘contacts’ it reads in big emblazoned words. 

“it’s probably in your best interest that you memorize at least some of these...or all of them.” she mutters the last part under her breath, and you think you can see her send a quick prayer to the sky. 

“most of the work is pretty self-explanatory.” she adds quickly, “when the boss comes in he can brief you a bit more.”

“so he’s not here now?”

the blush is obvious on her cheeks when she responds, “he had some, --other, things to take care of. i’m sure he’ll be back later.”

right. of course.

shizuku leaves with the same bounce in her step as before and you get to work.

. . . 

you hear him before you see him. well, you hear her before you hear him. it’s like the concept of public decency was wiped from their mind and replaced with absolutely nothing because the first time you look at your boss--

“baby let’s take this to your office.”

-- he’s got half a shirt on and a whole woman clinging onto him.

. . . 

“shirtless?”

the boy with the cropped hair from earlier can’t stop laughing. 

“i’m serious! i think his girlfriend is with him too!”

 the boy in front of you is awfully giddy for it being 9:30am and your boss (and technically his boss too!”) is fucking the brains out of some girl right now. out of, ah, respect for the couple, you’d abandoned your desk, taking as much of the paperwork as you could carry out of there. 

a wonderful start to your first day, truly, the wonderful world of business. 

“d’ya want to hang here then, with me?” the boy says. 

“i don’t even know you.”

“ i can take you to the spare room…” he singsongs, fiddling his hands behind his back , his eyes flick towards the stack of papers sitting in your hands as if to say, “what? you’re gonna say no?” and you’re not exactly  in a place to deny the boy at the front desk. so you give him a sigh and a nod.

“[name].”

“shalnark.”

. . .

six months later

you really don’t get paid enough for this. 

“i’m very sorry sir,” you say into the receiver, “mr. lucilfer is preoccupied at the moment and is not able to take your call, can i schedule a better time for the two of you to meet?”

the man on the other line grumbles, giving you a date and time and “if he doesn’t pick up i will be filing a complaint!” 

he won’t though, he’ll take one step into the office and walk right out. watching people walk into the office is entertainment for you now, first it was pure awkwardness but now… the moans coming from the office in front of you are nothing but background noise to the clack of your keyboard. 

it’s none of your business anyway, you just schedule the meetings. in fact, you’re sure that the only reason your boss gets away with not attending board meetings is because he’s quite literally fucking board members daughters in his office. a disgusting power move if you do say so yourself. well, that and he has the coldest stare you’ve ever seen.

“bye-bye [name]!” the blue haired girl, neon, 22 year old daughter of ‘nostrade’, ‘nostrade’ who has an appointment with chrollo the 23rd of every month from six pm to ten pm to discuss finances, yeah, that nostrade, comes swishing out of the room. “i’ll see you next week ‘kay!”

you wave a soft goodbye, ignoring the fact that her heel strap is broken and there’s a new bruise on her thigh. but like always, none of your business. the only advantage to this whole scenario, for you, at least, is the image of post - sex chrollo lucilfer, slick with sweat and still no shirt !, leaning against the doorframe. (honestly, the reason this company even has a dress code is beyond you.) 

“ [name], did someone call?” 

oh, he looked way too good in those slacks. 

“yes sir, he said he worked with the zoldycks but --”

“illumi knows better, will you delete his contact then?” he finishes quickly, using his dress to wipe the sweat on his brow. 

you nod, sparing yourself one more glance at the curves of his abs, and oh the ones that dip just below, oh. what’s this? his belt is different today, saint laurent? no, salvatore ferragamo, maybe. 

“ [name].”

you blink twice, casually looking away before you meet his eyes again. 

“yes sir?”

you can’t tell if it’s a smirk on his face but the tip of his mouth curves up as he makes his way towards your desk. his walk is sly, his office is only a few steps away from yours but watching him make his way to you feels like an eternity. resting his elbows on your desk, he peeks into your workspace, eyes looking over every pen and pencil on the desk.

“is there something you need, sir?”

it’s embarrassing how close you were to moaning ; god you were practically choking words out at this point. 

but still, the question goes unanswered. 

“i’m expecting a package later,” he finally answers, “ please bring it to me when it arrives.”

you nod, turning away to write a fake note “reminding” yourself to drop off the package, and by the time you turn around, the door to his office is shut and you’re left in silence.

. . . 

shizuku looks up through her glasses, eyebrow raised and lips wrapped loosely around her milkshake straw. 

“girlie i pray for you sometimes.”

rolling your eyes you pick a fry off her plate, “it’s not that bad.” 

you fail to address the fact that you basically get a free show everytime neon shows up so , yes objectively it’s not that bad.

 it’s a little bit evil though. 

“at least you’ve got me ‘n machi here.”

“gal pals.” you say

“gal pals.” she affirms.

 it’s not awkward with shizuku, in fact she might be the only normal person working at this company. she’s your little break from reality. 

“boss is callin’”

you snap to your phone, ringing with CHROLLO L [WORK] on the screen.

“he’s needy.” shizuku taunts, “gotta have his little secretary back at work right.”

“if it’s because he doesn’t want to pick up his package i’m gonna flip.”

sighing gently, she pats your hand. “you’re working towards the paycheck babe.”

. . .

it is the package. 

the poor delivery man is shaking in front of you desk as you walk out of the elevator. 

“i can sign for it!” you chirp, adding a bit of sweetener to your smile ; a something to make the poor man feel better. he extends the pen toward you and you sign, gently placing the package on your desk. 

“have a good day ma’am.”

you nod and wave, not even bothering to look at the package on your desk. 

chrollo can wait for it. 

. . . 

neons moans are too fucking loud. 

the girl‘s moving pathetically, no, clumsily on his cock, her ass is nice he’ll give her that but — fuck you would look so hot in her position. tits bouncing, falling out of the stupid white button down you’re wearing right now. 

he can see you out of his office, (two way glass is a fucking gift)  what are you doing , answering a call? doesn’t even matter. your tits just barely poke out of your shirt and it’s got him so hard. 

is neon still here? 

“baby please—” she mewls, forcing his head into her hands, pressing a harsh kiss on his lips. he doesn’t even bother to look at her, his eyes are on you.

you’re wearing cherry chapstick. he could smell it this morning when he picked up his folders from you. 

“good morning sir.” you’d said, “anything you need this morning?”

the answer was “yes. you.”

but instead he nodded. 

 neon finishes loudly, tugging on his hair and crying into his neck.

he wishes it were you. 

[urlocalbunny]

ethan nsfw alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Ethan likes to clean you and he tells you to "GO PEE RN OR YOU MIGHT GET SICK" and you'll definitely bath ew wtf. But when he clean you you barely feel anything but his humming and some faint kisses on your back. If you're a map he might poke some light bruises a bit. To see you squirm >:3

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his abs. Not too much, not too little. He's fine as fuck. Heh. As for you, ass. Ass. No matter what ass. If it's yours. Ass.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He cums quick spurts lmao and he cums a little. Enough for a good gulp, that's it. Tastes like bleach and it's clear.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He'd love to examine you and train with his knives on you. You're so cute even when you try to dom him that he can't help it. Maybe if you let him give you a scar and you give him one, or if you just dress yourself as a nurse and he'll put you under pressure and see how much you squirm to give him good head... Good, now he's hard.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He knows what he's doing with your body because he's a doctor. But I think he's still a little inexperienced because he didn't have many deep relationships so he thinks sex is way more shallow than it is (yet he already loves it lol) you'll feel good, but he's going to be mildly surprised by you each time.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Heh, he loves the ones where you're bent and restrained while he fucks you mercilessly, or the ones where he can ride you and see your angry face whenever he edges you to ready you about how much of a shitty dom you are.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He's not goofy, but he's sarcastic and a BIG brat. If you're subbing, he's the degrader type, the intensity I up to what he thinks you can handle. He also likes to talk dirty and laugh at you so beware.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He's on the hairy side bc shaving is not good for the skin and he won't fucking do wax. That shit hURTS, but you won't be bothered if you want to give him head. Kinda pleasing honestly. He trims often.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

When he's too fucked out, he's going to be the most affectionate little pet you could ever ask for whether he's domming or not. He'll literally sob and tell how much he loves you. And he gets WAY nicer when you're finished until you go to sleep or part ways. He'll go back to normal when you meet and be a brat by then.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He does jack off twice a week? Maybe 6 times a month? He doesn't feel like jacking off too much, but if someone he likes is around, he'll jack off a LOT, and he just can't stop bc his mind is way too fertile.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Knife play, nurse play, choking, shibari (receiving, let's all pretend to be shocked.), Dom and sub dynamics, he also loves to bend you in many ways. He also loves getting caught by people he knows, and semi-public places.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Moondance alleys where it's dark, his room, your room, the bathroom.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) when you just coax him, play his game and win. He likes how nasty you get...

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Hurt you beyond combined, make you feel miserable because of his own pleasure, hurt your feelings, scare you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)He loves to receive WAY more than giving, but he'll do it. You'll have to teach him more tho, he doesn't know what to do sometimes bc you make eye contact and he's just RED.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) He's fast and mildly to very rough. He loves to cling onto you and sometimes, when it's a cold day in hell, he'll take it slow. That's his way of saying he loves you.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) He thinks quickies are the best invention. He's mad? Quickie. He's gotta go but he craves it? Quickie. He does enjoy proper sex too and he'll make them sessions amazing, but to him there should be something to relieve you both quick.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) He loves to experiment! Esp if you're the dom. Please do make him your little dummy. If you experiment shibari, he'll even skip to the bed and tell you to "hurry the hell up!"

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) he lasts a few hours, but if he's too tired, quickie it is bc he won't spend his ENTIRE stamina fucking.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He has a few toys and they're mostly toys you can use on a partner. He keeps them on a case and he takes pride on his lil collection.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

I'd say he's the biggest tease if it wasn't for Ivan. But hey, he teases you completely out in the open and with people watching, so if you're a dom, put him in line.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) kinda low but he talks and moans often enough. You can't hear him much because he likes to hear you instead, but if you despise a guy that's not vocal, don't worry, that's not him.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Ethan once told you you should have drunk sex after you denied him one night because you didn't want to take advantage. He then allows you to do it the next time he tries it, and it's kinda weird because you're drunk too and he tells you all the little things about you that he never did while sober and you're in love wow.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) his dick is so pretty hihihih! It's curved upwards a little, the head is proportional and pretty. He does trim so it looks all the more appealing. He's veiny.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not all the time, but two-three times a week? that's fine with him.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He cums, aftercare, sleep. you can talk to him in your dreams if it's that important. Now sleep.

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

I Like Boys

A Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Story

Master List

Pairing: Stucky   |  Word Count: 2256  |  Warnings: Language

Based on the Todrick Hall song I Like Boys

A/N: With all the crazy in the world right now, I thought we could all use a little something fun and fluffy. This is my first Pride fic, please be kind as I did my absolute best. Love who you love, people. There’s nothing greater in life.

This fic is for @magellan-88​ who inspires me even when she doesn’t intend to.

***

James Buchanan Barnes was ninety-seven years old when his Hydra programming finally broke. He spent two years running from his best friend, another two in cryo, and five after that apparently blipped into nothing. After the fight - were, somehow, they all came out alive - Bucky decided, fuck it! 

How many times had he almost died? How many chances had he had? How many more would he waste before finally living his best life?

So he retired—sort of. 

There was no such thing as "retiring" when your idiot best friend continued to throw himself out of planes and into the line of fire on a regular basis, but Steve did slow down. He took on a more managerial role, was promoted to "General" for his service, and spent his days sitting on his ass behind a desk. 

Bucky liked him there. He liked having Steve unbruised and unbusted at the end of the day, saunter through the door to their joint living space and holler, "Honey, I'm home!"

It was a joke on the blond's part that was wearing thin, for when Bucky decided to live his best life, he'd begun to do some research about what that meant. Be true to you was a big part of it. But to be true to himself, he had to be honest with himself, and honesty meant admitting he'd been in love with Steven "is this a test" Rogers for most of his natural life. 

Sadly, Steve liked girls. Case in point, one Peggy "gonna bust some balls" Carter. 

Bucky couldn't exactly compete with that. She was one classy dame, and it hurt him to know that Steve would likely never move on. This era and it's dating rituals had thrown Cap for a loop. Women were too forward, and Steve - surprisingly - too shy to dive into the world of casual dates and sex. 

For Bucky, it was different. He liked boys. There, he'd said it, but he still hadn't said it to Steve. Natasha, however, was a different story. She'd grown used to him sighing and pining on her shoulder. She said she hated it - she didn't - but she bitched enough for both of them. 

Then she took him shopping. 

While he was standing in some place called Sephora with miles of makeup and aisle of perfume that kind of made him want to sneeze, he had the shock of his life. All this "girly" crap everywhere, but in the middle of it was a guy? A cute guy. With well-groomed hair and this fabulous winged eyeliner - nothing like his Hydra days - wearing really cute skinny jeans and glitter on his cheeks. 

Enchanted, Bucky left Natasha's side and slowly made his way over. The guy, man, guy he wasn't sure, looked up and flashed him a smile. 

"Help you, honey?"

Bucky blinked. He had fantastic skin. "You're so shiny." A flush immediately reddened his face. 

But Sephora Guy, whose name ended up being Ben, laughed and lightly patted his arm. "Aw, thanks, sweets. You looking for some skin care tips?"

Bucky nodded, unsure what else to do. 

"Honey, you came to the right fella!" 

Ben grabbed his wrist and led him to a chair where he bid Bucky sit. For the next hour, he was educated on everything from moisturizer to foundation to why Ben wore makeup. They talked about hair care, skin care, and what it meant to be "out" with such enthusiasm. Bucky had never spoken so candidly with anyone about his sexuality and found it enlightening. 

He left the shop with five hundred dollars worth of product, a list for the hair salon, and a bunch of links to reputable websites if Bucky had more questions. 

The smug on Natasha said she set him up, but he didn't care. He'd had the best day.

And when everything wound up on the counter in his and Steve's shared bathroom, Steve only arched a brow, smiled, and said nothing. 

Bucky continued to learn, research, and occasionally visit the mall to have coffee with Ben or his partner Matt. They were always kind, never impatient, and easy-going. He'd begun to wonder if they hadn't realized who he was until one day he asked, and they both looked at him with amused smiles. 

"Metal arm, slightly brooding, runs around after a "little punk" but now with a much better skin routine? Honey. Please," Ben snorted.

After, Bucky began to explore and try new things. He cooked, found a love for baking, and especially loved baking for Steve. The man refused to slow down, so it never affected Steve's physique, but Bucky found he was a little bit softer around the middle, his face fuller, his body less hard, and he liked it. 

It was nice not to be combat-ready all the time. Sure he could strap on the black and spend nine hours running down Hydra, that hadn't changed, but he had the smallest pudge of a belly, a soft little roll that he loved. 

Then, out of the blue, Natasha introduced him to roller derby. 

Bucky was thrilled! He'd never seen anything so flashy, showy, violent in all his life that was meant to be fun! Oh, sure he'd watch the wrestling that showed up on TV, but he felt most of that was so phony. This? This was chaos. This was mayhem. 

This was freaking awesome!

And the women were great. They were loud and boisterous, or sweet and shy, but when they put on their gear, they all became demons. Natasha occasionally trained with the group known as Red's Devils, a group of women from difficult circumstances she sponsored during the blip. It gave the ladies an outlet for grief, anger, pain that they wouldn't have had otherwise.

Once they met him, they'd put him in a pair of roller skates and dragged him around the track. Of course, with the serum and his enhanced body, getting his balance and figuring out how to move on wheels was cake, and soon he was skating around the room, learning neat tricks and tips from the women catcalling and laughing along with him

Bucky loved it. 

Finally, after seventy years as a Hydra pawn and all the crap that came afterward, he'd figured it out, found himself, and was happy. The only thing he wasn't satisfied with was Steve. 

It was getting harder and harder to pretend like he didn't tent his pants every time the big dumb blond wandered through the apartment in a towel. Or that "Honey, I'm home!" didn’t make his damn heart flutter. Some days it hurt to look at his stupid beautiful face and not want to kiss it. Or punch it. 

He swore Steve's shirts were getting tighter. Sometimes, it felt like his eyes lingered. 

The shit was messing with his head, dammit!

Then, just as the world was getting it's shit back together, the pandemic happened. Covid 19 struck, and everything stopped. The world stood still, went into lockdown, and Bucky wanted to slam his head on the wall.

He had been going to his first Pride event with Ben and Matt, ready to step outside and be who he was, while those who didn't approve could kiss his lily-white ass. He was going to tell Steve. He was going to stop hiding, conforming, resiting who he was. And it all went to shit thanks to a fucking virus.

He was pissed! It wasn't fair! He'd been so prepared. 

Natasha found him pouting on the couch in the common area of the now mostly empty compound. Anyone who could go home was sent home, leaving them running a skeleton crew of people, and forcing as much separation as possible. 

She flopped down mostly on top of him. "Why so glum, chum?"

"Pride's cancelled," he muttered. 

She snorted. "No, it's not."

He rolled his eyes. "We're under a shelter in place order, Natalia."

"I'm aware, Barnes," she huffed. "But Pride isn't cancelled. Just because you can't strut down the street waving a rainbow flag doesn't stop what this month is about. It's about you, celebrating you, and all the people who came before you who fought, screamed, raged against injustice and in some cases, died to be able to stand up proudly and say I'm gay, I'm bisexual, I'm transgender. You can't go out. That doesn't mean you can't celebrate."

She patted his chest and left him sitting there to think about what she said.

***

The music that pounded through the compound jerked Steve's head up. Reports forgotten, he rose and went to look out his office door, only to gape in shock as Bucky, wearing the shortest, tightest, black shorts he'd ever seen and a cropped top that showed off his cute little belly, rolled by on roller skates. He'd cut his hair not long ago, his interest in styling it a new hobby. Right now, it was fluffed high and held there with wax, looking soft and shiny and pretty as hell. Glitter sparkled on his cheeks, on his lashes, and glossed his lips. 

He smirked as he rolled by, blue eyes amused. "Close your mouth, Rogers."

Steve swallowed thickly and followed Bucky down the hallway. Those shorts should be illegal. The top wasn't much better. The cropped top was blue, sleeveless, showing off defined muscles and metal arm. His skin freaking glowed against the blue. 

It was seriously unfair how hot his best friend was, and Steve thanked his lucky stars he'd worn sweats and underwear today that helped disguise the tent forming in his pants. 

When Bucky stooped to pick up a big ass rainbow flag, Steve's jaw dropped. He knew what June first represented, how did Bucky?

Like a moth to a flame, Steve followed Bucky into the common room where Bucky was skating in happy circles, singing along to the music. 

"I like boys, I like pecs, like them arms when they flex. Like that print in them sweats. Tell them, girls, "Thank you, next." I like when they text me sexy pics of 'em, like them abs when there's six of 'em. Tell them girls I'm sorry; I like boys, Mama, boys like me."

Steve's jaw dropped. His mind refused to compute what he was hearing. It blue screened, whited out, and returned in time to watch Bucky drop it low and twerk like he'd done it all his life. 

"I like when they shake it, shake it. I like when they grind real slow. I like when they almost naked. Tell dad I'm so homo. Lights off, doors shut. Tall, dark, clean-cut. Thick with a bubble but. Yup, Mama, I like boys."

A sound like a fax machine escaped his throat as Bucky danced, shook his ass, swung his hips, and sent Steve's mind so far into the gutter he wondered if it would ever come out. 

"Bitch, B to the O to the Y to the S, Boys will be boys, and with boys, I'm obsessed. Boys in their gym clothes, boys in a dress, and if boys are a crime, then I'm under arrest. 'Cause I've been boy crazy since the boy scouts. Fuck the closets, let the boys out. Don't be a camel when you are a llama, period. No comma, bring on all the drama. Mama, I like boys, I like pecs, like them arms when they flex. Like that print in them sweats. Tell them girls, "Thank you, next." I like when they text me sexy pics of 'em. Like them abs when there's six of 'em. Tell them girls I'm sorry; I like boys, Mama, boys like me."

The music continued to play, but Bucky rolled away from the window, leaving the flag he'd been carrying behind on the couch when he skated up to Steve and stopped. On the skates, Bucky was inches taller and caused Steve to tilt his head back to look up at him as he had when they were kids. 

"So," Bucky murmured, a blush under the glitter and eyes suddenly shy and uncertain. "I like boys."

Steve's heart clenched. Before he could stop himself or second guess what he was doing, his hand shot out, grabbed the back of Bucky's neck, and dragged his friend down in a kiss that had been pent up for almost a century. 

Bucky squeaked, flailed once, almost rolled away, and finally wrapped his arms around Steve in a near bone-crushing hug. Lips slanted, mouths softened, parted, inhaled, changed the angle and softened. 

Tingles raced through Steve's body as he kissed Bucky, his Bucky, pouring every bit of emotion he felt into it. Then, he nipped his teeth into Bucky's lip and slowly pulled away. 

"I'm bisexual," Steve murmured. "I've known for years."

"You punk-ass piece of shit! Why didn't you say something?" Bucky barked, but Steve noticed he didn't let go. 

"There wasn't time." He gently squeezed Bucky's nape. "And how do you tell your best friend in the whole world you've been in love with him your entire life?"

"Steve…" Bucky whispered, resting their foreheads together. "You're an idiot."

Steve kissed him again because there was no refuting that logic.

***

From the second-floor observation deck, Natasha turned her phone camera from the scene below to her grinning face. The live stream event had hearts and comments blowing up her Instagram. "Happy Pride everyone. If those two old farts can figure it out, anyone can." 

She blew a kiss at the camera and ended the stream.

-The End- 

[springtimebat]

The Autumn Meeting (3/4)

Abram bounces up and down on the spot, his scales dancing across his forehead, his mouth a giant grin, teeth as sharp as knives.

“You’re gonna love it so much guys! You don’t understand! It’s probably the best thing I’ve ever conjured.”

“Just get it over with Abe,” Emil whines, checking a small clock in his breast pocket, “We’re already behind schedule.”

Abe stops dead and wraps his fins around his chest.

“Are you always this mean?” The Queen asks, shaking her head at Abram who stares at the floor. 

“You’ve read about us, or so you say. Why don’t you tell me?”

The Queen rolls her eyes. Abram gives a wistful sigh. Gus, a disembodied head in the leaves, squeaks in a strange nonsense language that makes his friends smile. 

“Start from the beginning this time Abram. I don’t want a repeat of the mermaid incident.”

“The mermaid incident?” The Queen asks

“He started from the middle. The girl already owned legs, yet she still longed for them.”

“That was one time!” Abram huffed, “Now is everyone settled? Or do you need to shout at me some more?”

All three attendants nod.

“Okay, now I’ll start.” He turned to their guest, “Your majesty, you might wanna cover your ears for the first few minutes. The beginning may be a bit muffled but many have been known to go deaf when I slip into my other voice.”

“Another voice?” 

“You’ll see,” He grins. And so the third tale of the night begins at four in the afternoon:

{The Two Beings}

There were once two beings

One was of greys, blacks and whites

He lived amongst royalty 

Survived in their courts 

He never quite belonged 

So he also held company with lower beings

Of slime and muck and grit

As the first being grew strong on their discarded remains

He left the royalty and the courts 

And ruled along the paper margins of Fairy

Soon after he developed an interest in humans

A hobby many found unhealthy 

He’d follow them around 

Watched them

Children seemed to be the only humans that would listen to the ruler’s prattling

The being did not mind

For they were interesting

They filled a void that slime could not

Then

One day

The ruler met a second being

The second being was one of light

Of blues, greens, reds and pinks

She was human

She belonged to the upper wall

And she lived her life in chains

As bright and as ordinary as the ruler was dark, stark and strange

She spent her days alone 

Hiding her beauty from the rest of the world 

An assistant to twin brothers

Frogs

Toads 

She was left to feed off of scraps 

And to be whipped by a cruel guardian

The first being found his counterpart one night 

One lonely night

Peering through his window 

He caught her exhausted in rags 

Torn at the hem

Hair bushy

Face muddy from soot

And of course 

He immediately fell in love with her

So he began his pursuit

Observing her from his own realm

She was everything he was not 

Everything he lacked 

A great regard for life danced in her forget-me-not eyes

It was a short

Almost too short

Time 

before the ruler of the muck and slime was certain she would be a suitable bride

And his determination grew

He’d leave tributes on her bedroom sill;

Pine cones, leaves, twigs and rocks

Each one she took from him 

A special pieces of his soul

She tucked them all away

Never to be seen again

The girl ignored him

Acted as if he were not there

And so the challenge went on...

 “Exeunt.”

 Abram smiles, looking around the campgrounds for a response. Guy whistles and The Queen gives her second clap of the day. Emil, unchanging, shakes his head. Before he can respond, Abram begins again.

“I’m working on the middle...and the beginning…and the ending.”

“Obviously,” Emil snarks.

“Wait I’m confused,” The Queen stutters, “Was there an ending?”

“No,” Abram replies, confused, “Why would there be?”

“This is a workshop, your majesty. A story doesn’t need an ending if you don’t want it to.”

“I know it’s awful,” Abram frowns, anxious tears forming in his eyes like beads of smoked glass.

 “I was thinking of adding a subplot with some gremlin people. Like, a parallel romance story line to kinda act as a comedic escape from all the existentialism-”

“Ah yes that would be very fine,” Emil grins, “Very fine indeed Abe my boy!” 

“Y-yeah! I also thought maybe...you could help me with uh… some world building and structure and stuff. So it flows naturally.”

“Hmm, good idea. Good idea Abram.” Emil rolls his head back to the fire, which is starting to die out, “Say Abe, can you answer a question I have about your story?”

“Sure!”

“Is your story, perhaps, based on a particular person in this group tonight?” 

Abram rolls his eyes, “It ain’t about you Emillian.”

“No not me you fool! Is it based on our guest of honour over there?” 

The Queen’s eyes grow wide. Abram says nothing and begins to stare down at his feet again. 

Emil smirks triumphantly, “Thought so.”

Gus’ thigh gives a little creak in the darkening wilderness.

“I know that Gus, but how many of those queens are sitting down here with us tonight?” 

Gus shrugs a shoulder, giving up. 

“Last year, you told me to be spontaneous,” Abram mumbles, “Now here I am, making up prose as I go, and you hate it.”

“I don’t hate it, Abe my boy! I just find it intolerable.”

Abram groans. The Queen sighs in annoyance.

“I’m terribly sorry for existing, sir.” She mutters. 

“Good. You should be. But since you’re here you can give Abram some pointers for his story. Make yourself useful.”

“Pointers? What pointers could she give me?”

“She’s a queen you dolt! She knows all about rulers! She’s gonna marry one!”

“Oh yeah! Hey I do need help on the characters innermost fears and desires! Being stuck underwater most of the year makes you miss out on courtly endeavours.” 

With that, Abram shuffles closer to the Queen’s makeshift throne. As the group reorganises, a high screech flies through the air above their heads, causing them to lift their eyes to the treetops. The Queen shudders and pulls her shawl tighter around her shoulders. Her dress shifts slightly. Only slightly. But it’s enough for the men to notice how her stomach swells underneath the fabric. 

“So that’s it then,” Emil grimaces, “A bouncing baby boy. That’s why he’s marrying you.”

The Queen gives a warm smile and strokes her stomach with one hand, “He’s three months old.”

“A big thing for three months.”

A softer, yet hungrier scream pierces the forest and the queen goes back to hugging her cloak. 

“It’s the corridors.”

“The corridors?”

“Yes. They’ve discovered I’m gone. They’ll be coming soon. How long will this take?”

“As long as we want it to.”

“My husband will be here soon and-”

“Exactly! That’s what we want to talk to you about. Now quick fussing! Abram! Ask one question now. We still have one story to get through.”

Abram grins, “What do you think of purity?”

“Purity?” The Queen repeats, taken aback. 

“Yes, purity.”

The Queen swallows, “Purity, at least the ideas most people have about purity, are phantoms. Babes, the pure ones, the prideful ones, can handle cruelty in their stride. They hold glass shards in their eyes. Beware the little ones; they’ll devour your heart with knives, forks and all. The phantoms, these small shadows of ideas, lead you on and ensnare you in a pretty bear trap marked with flowers. Mark my words, the pure ones will eat you clean.”

The men stare at her. She shrugs her shoulders.

“It’s something my mother used to say to me.”

“Hmm,” Emil turns to Abram, “That has nothing to do with the King my boy. Ask another one about the king.”

“Oh no, please don’t! I don’t think-”

“Why? What do you not want us to find out? That he eats babies too?”

“Nothing! It’s just he told me things. Important secrets you only tell the person you wish to marry.”

“What things? What important secrets?”

“We were sat on the screen porch one day-”

“The what?”

“The screen porch. It’s a balcony in the castle, hidden away with an invisible tarp.”

“What’s its purpose?”

“The glass hides the rest of the world. Puts it on its side. And it keeps the insects out. The panels are covered in their eyeballs and guts-”

“How gruesome!”

“The king, an insect grower!”

“Imagine!”

“And a competent one at that!”

“The nerve of the rogue!” 

“The view makes up for it. On that day of secrets, we were watching a sunset, spying on the angels.” 

“Hmmph, angels!”

“Yes. The King was talking about angels, demons and the like-”

“Typical monarch!”

“He likes to discuss things that he can’t keep in cages.”

“Particularly to things he’s managed to trap.”

“Indeed, I suppose some would see it that way. I find talk of immortality fascinating.”

“You would, you immortal.”

“Future immortal. We were just finishing dessert when the king grabbed my hand and began to stroke the creases in my palm. When I looked up at him he said, “You know what I wish for? More than anything in the world?” I just said I could guess but I’d probably be wrong.”

“How humble of you.”

“He stopped for a moment and gazed up at the sun, on its last legs. Then he swallowed and looked back at me. He told me his biggest secret then.” 

“And now you will tell us, three old pedallers. You will tell us an immortal’s Achilles heel?”

“Yes, I don’t see why not.”

“Very well child.”

“He turned and said-”

“What? What girl?”

“Isn’t it obvious? A soul.” 

“A soul?”

“At first, I thought he had something caught in his throat. Like, he meant to say “soldier” or “solar panels”. Anything other than a soul.” 

“Oh how perfectly ludicrous! An immortal obsessed with souls! That explains you finally. You’re his pet soul. A human girl he can point and laugh at.”

“I point and laugh at him much more than you realise. I didn’t laugh at him on this particular day. On soul day. I just hugged him.”

“And that right there is why he tolerates you. That’s why he wraps you in cotton wool and keeps you locked up with him. That’s why he smothers you with heavy brick walls.” 

“Maybe so. It’s also the reason he asked for my hand.”

“That’s why he asked for your wrist. What’s your reason?”

“For our marriage?” 

“Yes, sod it all, what was your reason for saying yes to him?” 

“Well, I said yes because I love him and I was lonely. And he loves me and is lonely. That’s how these things tend to work.” 

“Why do you love him?”

“Obviously because he’s the grower of insects!”

“I suppose that’s a requirement then? To love a king?”

“That and a pretty sunset.”

“How trivial.”

Suddenly, Abram gives a giant huff. Everyone turns back to him, kicking his legs in the dirt.

“Sure! Sure! It’s fine when Emil interrupts me but when I interrupt his story to ask a simple question. Oh no! Blasphemy! I’m a degenerate! You know what Emillian? I like my story as it is! No subplots, no ending, no superfluous detail, nothing! I don’t need any of this nonsense! What kind of king just sits in a giant flytrap all day, eating babies and wishing about souls and angels and demons and…ugh! I’m done with this Emillian! It took me twenty years to be invited here and I always get treated like mud. But this takes the cake! Enjoy your new companion. I’m going to where I’ll be respected. That’s what I’m doing! Hang around the royalty you despise. Enjoy yourself.” Abram starts stomping away, then stops, picking up a piece of Gus’ chest plate, “And I’m taking Gussie with me!”

He gives a growl then leaves, ignoring the groups’ stunned silence as he gives himself to the shadows.

“Should we go after him or-” 

“No. He’ll be back. He just needs to cool off.” Emil replies, gazing up at the sky. The sun was beginning to set and the shadows were getting stronger. 

“We haven’t got much more time,” The Queen explains, “The king will probably start searching the woods soon and he hates it when I go out on my own-”

“Very well,” Emil interrupts, calmly, “Start your story now. Abram will have to miss out just this once. Poor old guy.”

The Queen sighs with relief and rests back into her throne. 

On the outskirts of the never ending forest, encased in smoke, shadows and carcasses, the city of tomorrow outstretches a wary leg. It has waited patiently. It has called her name for hours. Now it will wait no more. After a moment of hesitation, it slips into the trees, merely a grotesque silhouette. 

[iwaxpoetic]

fic: like you’d get your knuckles bloody (betty/archie, riverdale)

fandom: riverdale pairing: archie andrews/betty cooper, barchie There were so many choices that felt so small at the time. It seemed as if she blinked while getting a refill of her milkshake at Pop’s and woke up in a forest, covered in her boyfriend’s blood. She had been so many Betties between them - in a bunker, at the farm, chasing down a masked killer, in a black wig, holding Chuck Clayton’s head under water —

Standing beneath her porch light, her heart in her throat while Archie Andrews said, “I can’t give you the answer that you want.”

Was that the end of the beginning or the beginning of the end?--

Betty Cooper, before-and-after.

Her sense of narrative structure made her wish it was as easy as a before-and-after.

There was such clarity in a defining moment, in being able to spot the time when everything changed. There was a Cheryl before and after Jason died; a Jughead before and after he slipped on the Serpent jacket; the Breakfast at Tiffany’s Veronica before she turned In Cold Blood.

There was no clean before-and-after for Betty Cooper. There were so many choices that felt so small at the time. It seemed as if she blinked while getting a refill of her milkshake at Pop’s and woke up in a forest, covered in her boyfriend’s blood. She had been so many Betties between then - in a bunker, at the farm, chasing down a masked killer, in a black wig, holding Chuck Clayton’s head under water —

Standing beneath her porch light, her heart in her throat while Archie Andrews said, “I can’t give you the answer that you want.”

Was that the end of the beginning or the beginning of the end?

——

The old Betty, wherever she began and ended, was characterized by her discipline.

Every day, she suited up in her prim cardigans and slick ponytail, ready for another day as the dutiful daughter, the doting sister, the star student. She could handle any pop quiz, any turbulence in the Cooper household, any pressing deadlines at the Blue and Gold. When the pressure got to be too much, she would clench her fists and breathe through it.

And every night, she looked out her bedroom window at what she really wanted. Second floor, second window from the back, calling to her like a lighthouse. Archie’s window was lit up at all hours of the day and night, whether he was strumming his guitar or dozing off with a movie on. It was her nightlight. She fell asleep to its comforting glow, knowing their time would come one day.

She had to be disciplined, because she was hungry. Sometimes it scared her, how strongly she felt. There was a bottomless pit of want inside of her and she tiptoed around it, testing the edges but never letting herself fall in. Betty didn’t want to be the kind of person who was dragged around by her id. She wanted to be the person that other people thought she was. Sometimes that meant sleepless nights helping Polly learn her cheer routine, piling more volunteer hours on top of her already packed schedule, turning the other cheek to another Blossom insult.

Season five Betty Draper, Cheryl had once called her, as if she knew the half of it.

——

Betty had never thought Archie would love her in the exact way that she loved him.

She knew that love took different shapes in each container. She could see the way her mother and father fit together, pushing and pulling but ultimately a team, making each other better - a real laugh, in retrospect. One of her favorite memories was being eight years old, when Alice had just broken a big story. The pride lit her up from the inside and Hal’s beaming face reflected it right back. But she had also watched from next door as the Andrews fell apart. Fred and Mary lost something that seemed sweet and steady and kind, and then Fred puttered around that big house alone.

She thought about what that love might feel like, when it finally came.

Archie was all sweetness. Being his girlfriend would mean never walking to school alone, sporting his letterman jacket at games, and dancing together at prom. It would be afternoons working on a jalopy in the garage and nights cuddling together on the sofa. He would write songs about her and she would proofread his college essays and they would move to New York together after graduation.

It would be an awful lot like being his friend had been since they turned 13 and their parents had put a moratorium on sleepovers, except that she would get to touch the abs that had been taunting her. The heart that beat under those defined pectoral muscles was pure gold and it was an even better prize.

Something murkier lay beneath the surface for Betty. Sometimes she wondered if she loved him or if she coveted him. She wanted to know every thought in his head, every dream in his heart. Long before the school hallways had started to echo with Archie got hot!, she had been daydreaming about ways to get his hands on her. There were no dibs on a person, but she saw him first and had seen only him since.

Betty had never thought that Archie would burn for her, but she basked in his steady glow. Archie lived closer to the surface - he wore his heart on his sleeve and an easy smile on his face. That was one of the things she loved about him. They would be so happy together, but his devotion would never match hers.

It wasn’t until she was standing at the edge of a shallow grave, looking down at his terrified, resolved face with a shovel in her hand and a gun to her head, that she realized they may have misjudged each other.

——

A dam had broken in Betty Cooper earlier that fall.

It could have been one thing or any number of things —  Veronica Lodge sweeping into town, Polly’s mysterious disappearance, Jason Blossom’s body washing up in Sweetwater River. It was an unusually active September, especially by Riverdale’s sleepy standards.

For Betty, it felt like the foundation had been cracking. With one firm tap, it was gone.

You are so perfect. I’ve never been good enough for you, I’ll never be good enough for you.

The careful balancing of what she should want versus what she did want is what had kept her in check for all these years. No one else seemed to have the same qualms. Betty couldn’t imagine Cheryl or Veronica denying themselves a thing. In fact, she knew they wouldn’t. Veronica had talked a big game about turning over a new leaf, but after less than a week in Riverdale, Veronica had seven minutes in a closet and Betty had a box of Magnolia cupcakes.

Only Betty had the discipline to decide to be something and then become it. It had gotten harder for her to see how that was a good thing.

— —

Jughead’s interest in Betty was both a balm and a sting.

Boys had never been interested in her. She wasn’t sure if it was because word of her strict parents preceded her or because her crush on Archie was so obvious that it was not worth getting their hopes up. Whatever the reason, she had made it sixteen years without being asked to the drive-in, having a note slipped in her locker, or having rocks thrown at her window by someone who wanted to date her. She did all those things with her best friend and had become aware that it was not the same.

Until Jughead crawled through her window and gave her her first real kiss, she didn’t realize exactly how different it was.

Being on the other side of the equation was a revelation. It was amazing to think that there was someone who liked her more than anyone else, who thought about her when she wasn’t around, who wanted to kiss her and hold her hand and maybe more one day. Jughead was a good person - he was cute and smart, with a wicked sense of humor that tickled at the dark side she kept such a lid on - but what made him special is that he thought she was special. Betty had never come first to anyone before and she dove into intimacy with the same enthusiasm and determination that she put into any task.

But it was her way to acknowledge the cloud even while she focused on the silver lining. Besides her, Jughead was Archie’s best friend in the world. If other boys had avoided her due to some unspoken claim, surely he would find her to be even further off limits. If Jughead liked her, it was because Archie never would.

Somehow it was more devastating than the rejection itself. A dramatic showdown in formalwear still fit with the narrative that she had imagined for Archie-and-Betty. Power couples faced obstacles. Even after homecoming, even after Melody, even after Veronica, a part of her still though she should be patient. It was the utter lack of drama in her courtship with Jughead that made it real. There was nothing to be dramatic about.

She made her peace with it, first with her nails dug into her palms but then genuinely. The pieces of her heart felt like they were rearranging. Jughead had burst his way in and made his home right in the center. The part that housed her feelings for Archie was smaller, but the scars had made the walls thick and tough.

She would always love him and now she knew what shape it would take. She felt lucky to have enough love in her life that she could feel the difference.

It took a few months, but Betty started to think Jughead might be her soulmate. They both felt a personal obligation to clean up Riverdale’s seedy underbelly, loved books and old movies, and, most importantly, they hated the same things about her. On his lips, “perfect” was scornful. After all of those years pursuing perfection, she wasn’t too fond of it herself.

——

People gave you a wide berth in the aftermath of a showdown with a killer.

Betty was distracted and distant in the weeks following the altercation with Joseph Svenson. People around town stared and whispered even more than usual, but they looked at her with pity and awe in their eyes. Even her mother and Jughead gave her space, assuming that she was reeling after weeks of cat-and-mouse.

When she was alone, Betty didn’t think about Joseph Svenson at all. She thought about Archie Andrews.

It wasn’t about the kiss, although it was hardly the one she had scripted for them long ago. She thought about the way that he had grabbed her hand as she put the pieces together and started to spiral, the only thing tethering her to this earth. She thought about how instantly he had responded to Get in the coffin or I’ll shoot her in the head right now.

To be willing to die for someone was the kind of sweeping statement of love and dedication that was easy to say because it was so unlikely to be tested. It was reserved for the most important people in your life, the ones that you would do anything to protect. When she was in danger, Archie hadn’t batted an eye. When she closed her eyes, all she could see was him lowering himself into a coffin for her. She had been looking at that face for years and years, had known it when it had a beaming smile of mismatched baby teeth, had admired its changing angles. His jaw was clenched but his eyes were as warm as ever when the lid closed over him.

It was unbelievable to think that only weeks ago, kisses and milkshakes had made her feel special. It wasn’t fair to hold up a high school romance against the ultimate sacrifice, but the tectonic plates of her life had shifted again. It was a secret humming under her skin. It was heady to know that there was someone in the world who would do anything for you.

In a way, the showdown with the Black Hood was the most romantic night of her life. That was Riverdale for you.

— —

Betty stopped thinking about Hal Cooper almost as soon as he was locked away. She had spent so much time pouring over the Black Hood and puzzling over her family secrets that when she tried to align the man with the father, none of the pieces fit quite right anymore. After the loss of Hal and Polly, the Cooper family structure coalesced neatly around Betty and Alice as if it had always just been them.

Compartmentalizing and moving on was another discipline that Betty excelled at. Most of the time, anyway.

She thought about Fred Andrews all the time. The lights were out in Archie’s room for the first time that she could remember, but she knew that he was home. The loss was unspeakable, so she never tried.

— —

Even for someone good at compartmentalizing, it could be hard for Betty to separate the way she felt about Veronica from how she felt about Veronica Lodge.

The simple truth is that they were friends because Veronica had decided they were friends. Betty had been skeptical but a little bit flattered. She had written Veronica off at first, sure that she would move on and nestle in at Cheryl's side like two rich bitch peas in a pod, but she had persisted.

No one had ever wanted to be her friend that desperately. Despite what her frilly pink sweaters might imply, she had never been much of a girl’s girl. Her only real friends were Archie and Kevin. That had always been more than enough for her, but there was something to be said for having Veronica in her corner.

But the only person better at compartmentalizing than Betty was Veronica Lodge. Veronica could claim that she was destined to be Betty’s best friend while snatching her lifelong crush out from under her. She could disavow her family’s shady business dealings, then join Lodge Industries and keep quiet about their plans for the Southside. She could love Archie, then sit by while her father destroys his life.

Betty had been tap dancing around questions of morality for a while. One did not get to make too many principled stances when their boyfriend was a gang leader who once partially skinned a woman, and she tried not to throw too many stones from inside a house where she had once blackmailed Cheryl Blossom into testifying on behalf of FP Jones. As she started to shed more and more of her Nice Girl persona, Betty thought she had become more understanding of all the gray in the world.

In a sweltering court room after Labor Day weekend, Betty had found the thing she could never forgive. She watched stupid - noble, self-sacrificing, stupid - Archie jump at a plea deal for a crime he had not committed, all to spare them another trial. Veronica had cried and dropped her head into her hands, but Betty could still see flickers of her in Hiram Lodge’s satisfied smile.

Betty held her friend as she cried and clamped down on her latest intrusive thought - none of this would be happening if it weren’t for you. From learning to read to wrestling him from Ms. Grundy’s clutches, there had never been a problem Betty could not solve for Archie until he crossed Hiram’s path. There was nothing Betty wouldn't do for Archie, but there was nothing she could do for him now, so she averted her teary eyes and tried not to let in the darkness that always seemed so close to the surface now.

Meeting Veronica Lodge was the worst thing that had ever happened to any of them.

— —

When Betty used to dream of Archie as the leading man in every romance, she had imagined kissing him with a frequency that made her blush to think about even now.

She had been inexperienced and was not even sure what she was longing for. In her mind’s eye, she saw him in everything -  the foot pop at the end of The Princess Diaries, the foggy window in Titanic, on the dock in The Notebook - hell, even Spiderman dangling upside down in the rain. It was a collage of images that she could not quite attach a sensation to, but it made her blood run a bit hotter.

When Betty tried to flesh out her fantasies, she relied on a few tangible things she did know - the smell of his cologne, which she had picked out; his increasingly hard biceps, flexing under her fingers when they linked arms on the way to school; the way his hair felt when she playfully ruffled it; the slow drag of his fingers across her back and stomach, when he was winding up to tickle her.

It was almost like an out of body experience when she flung the microphone to the ground. Betty was somewhere else in the garage as she and Archie sang, circling the microphone, their traded glances growing less playful and more searching, until he swung the guitar behind his back and reached for her.

The touch of his hand was like it had always been, the tether that held her to earth and made sure she didn’t miss a thing. Betty had never been more present. After all those years of patience and restraint, she couldn’t get close enough.

— —

There was no clear before-and-after for Archie Andrews.

He had come a long way from being the boy-next-door. He had been the star football player and the sensitive musician. He had been groomed by his music teacher and apprenticed at the foot of a mobster. He had started a youth center for the underprivileged and shattered his hand pulling Cheryl Blossom out of a frozen river. It felt like a lifetime ago that it had just been Betty and Archie in a booth at Pop’s, but Betty didn’t feel like he had changed at all. When she looked into his eyes, she saw the same person staring back at her that she always had.

When there was such a bone-deep understanding, how could she ever feel like he was different? With every step he took, she was right there too.

It dawned on Betty that maybe her before-and-after had happened long before she started looking for it. There was a Betty Cooper before she loved Archie Andrews and she had been living in the after since she was 11 years old.

She flipped through her diaries, years and years of little choices. Her next one felt big.

[lifeofresulullah]

The Life of The Prophet Muhammad(pbuh): The Conquest of Makkah and Afterwards

The Battle of Hunayn: Part 1

(8th year of the Migration, 5 Shawwal Saturday / AD 630, January 27)

With the conquest of Makkah, almost all of the Qurayshis became Muslims. The conquest affected the tribes that were the allies of the Qurayshis; they started to have nice feelings about Islam and Muslims, and showed interest in Islam. This interest was regarded as a sign that they would be allies of the Messenger of God.

However, there were some tribes that were deprived of this interest: The tribes of Hawazin and Thaqif were the leaders of them. They were known to be the fierce enemies of the Prophet and Muslims. Though many Arab tribes became loyal to the Messenger of God, they could not end their enmity. They deceived themselves because they were the strongest tribes of that region and assumed groundless pride.

When the Messenger of God conquered Makkah and became allies with the Qurayshis and many other tribes, Hawazin and Thaqif tribes decided to make preparations and attack Makkah. Their aim was to attack Makkah suddenly before the Prophet could attack them.

The leaders of both tribes expressed their intention when they talked to each other. They said, “There is nothing that can prevent Muhammad from attacking us. What is appropriate for us is to attack him before he attacks us.”

As a matter of fact, they formed an army consisting of twenty thousand soldiers under the command of Malik b. Awf, the leader of Hawazins, with the participation of the people from the tribes around. Malik b. Awf, their commander, made all of the women, children and sheep join the army so that the soldiers would fight bravely and would not run away.  

The enemy army consisting of twenty thousand people settled in a place called Awtas together with the women, children and animals.

The Prophet is Informed about the Situation

When the Messenger of God heard that Hawazin and Thaqif tribes came together in order to attack the Islamic land, he immediately sent Abdullah b. Abi Hadrad to the enemy so that he would gather some information.

Abdullah wondered among the enemy soldiers in disguise for a few days and collected necessary information. He heard Malik b. Awf, the commander of the army, say the following to the other commanders:

“This will be the last fight of Muhammad. The people that he has fought up to now were people unaware of fighting. That is why, he defeated them.

When it is dawn, line your animals, women and children behind you. Then line your soldiers.

When you see the Muslims, you will attack them.

Break the sheaths of your swords and attack at once like one single man. Know it very well that victory belongs to the party that attacks first!”

After collecting this information, Abdullah returned to Makkah and informed the Prophet about what he had heard.

The Prophet Prepares the Army

When the Messenger of God was informed that a big army had been prepared against him, he acted very fast to attack them in the place where they had settled.

Meanwhile, he said to Safwan b. Umayya, who had a lot of weapons and armor but who had not become a Muslim yet, “O Abu Umayy­a! We will go and fight the enemy tomorrow. Lend your weapons to us.”

Safwan said, “O Muhammad! Do you want to take them by force and not give them back?”

The Prophet said, “No... I want to borrow them; I will pay for the ones that will be broken and that will get lost.”

Thereupon, Safwan gave him armor for one hundred people and weapons that will be enough for them; he also undertook the duty of carrying them to the place of fighting upon the request of the Prophet.

The Prophet appointed Attab b. Asid, who was a young man aged twenty, as the governor of Makkah on the day of the conquest of Makkah. He also appointed Muadh b. Jabal to teach Islam and the Quran in the city.

The Islamic Army Leaves Makkah

It was the fifth of the month of Shawwal in the 8th year of the Migration.

The Islamic army consisting of twelve thousand soldiers under the command of the Messenger of God set off from Makkah toward the place where the enemy army had settled. Two thousand soldiers were Makkans. There were also about eighty polytheists in the army. Many notables of the Quraysh were among these eighty people. They wanted to see which party would win and to get some booty.

The Prophet had not led such a big army before. However, he knew that the number of the soldiers was not enough for the victory. He knew that it was God Almighty who granted victory and who caused defeat and that man was obliged to make perfect preparations that will enable him to gain victory. Therefore, he did not show any traces of pride though he was leading such a big and magnificent army.  

However, some mujahids who trusted in the number of the soldiers said,

“We will not be defeated due to insufficient number of soldiers today.”

However, they had defeated many armies that were more crowded than them and that had more weapons than them several times with the help of God. The Victory of Badr was a very clear example. The Battle of Khandaq and Muta were visible examples. However, they talked as if the only element to bring victory was the number of soldiers.

Naturally, the Messenger of God did not like what they said and showed it through his attitude.

They Arrive at Hunayn

It was Tuesday, 11th of the month of Shawwal.

The Messenger of God and his army arrived at the valley of Hunayn, which had many slopes and descents, narrow passes and hidden ways.

At dawn, he arranged his army in ranks. He gave the flags and the standards to their bearers.

Hazrat Ali had the standard of the Muhajir Muslims; Sa’d b. Abi Waqqas and Hazrat Umar had their flags. Hubab b. Mundhir and Usayd b. Khudayr had the standards of Ansar Muslims.

Sons of Sulaym under the command of Khalid b. Walid formed the vanguards of the Islamic army.

The Messenger of God acted very cautiously. He was on his horse, Duldul. He had put on two armored shirts; there was a cap on his head and a helmet.

The Messenger of God, who feared the Creator more than everybody and who worshipped Him more than everybody, obeyed the material laws of God Almighty in daily life called “Adatullah” more than everybody and observed those rules very carefully. He showed his situation against the enemy very clearly. Though he was under the protection of God and was helped by God, he put on two armored shirts when people put on only one and he had a cap and a helmet on his head.  

First Clash

It was the time of dawn.

The Prophet ordered his army to go down the valley of Hunayn in order to take the enemy by surprise. The vanguards under the command of Khalid went down the valley first; they were unaware of the plans and movements of the enemy. They were attacked by the arrows of the enemy that had ambushed in two places overlooking the valley. The attack of the arrows astonished the mujahids in the narrow valley, which was not suitable for military maneuvers. It was still dark, which made things harder for them. The vanguards had to retreat; after them, the new Makkan Muslims who had voluntarily joined the army started to retreat. The retreat was about to turn into a defeat.

The situation was very delicate; the scene was very painful.

There were only about one hundred mujahids around the Messenger of God. The enemy was coming toward them with their twenty thousand soldiers. The Prophet called out, “O people! Where are you going? Come toward me! I am Messenger of God! I am Muhammad b. Ab­dullah.”

The battlefield was like Doomsday. The camels were hitting each other; the horses were neighing and causing a lot of tumult and fear.

The Messenger of God was sitting on Duldul like a statue of bravery though everybody was retreating and running away and the enemy forces were coming toward him like a flood. He did not move back even one step; he had no signs of fear; he was full of courage, hope and strength. Only that hero of the heroes could stand bravely against the enemy that consisted of twenty thousand soldiers in this tumult.  

The Hatred and Enmity in the Hearts are Revealed

When the Islamic army faced such an unexpected defeat, some Qurayshis started to utter bad words.

Abu Sufyan b. Harb said, “This defeat cannot be stopped.”

Safwan b. Umayya had not become a Muslim yet. However, he did not like what Abu Sufyan said. He said to Abu Sufyan, “May soil and stones fill your mouth!

Meanwhile, Safwan b. Umayya came and said to him, “Good news! The spell has been broken today; it has lost its effect.” Safwan b. Umayya said to him,

“Shut up! May God tear your mouth! I prefer a Qurayshi to rule over me than a Hawazin.”

Suhayl b. Amr said, “Muhammad and his Companions can never recover and fight again.”

Abu Jahl’s son Ikrima, who had just become a Muslim, said, “It is not appropriate to talk like that!” He added,  

“God has control over everything. Muhammad cannot do anything. If the war is against him today, it will definitely be in favor of him tomorrow.”

Suhayl was surprised when he heard what Ikrima said, “You used to say just the opposite.”

Ikrima said,

“By God, we used to insist on things that were not appropriate. We did not think very well; we kept on worshipping some stones that could neither harm nor help us.”

God Almighty Protects His Prophet from an Assassination

During this defeat, some of the Qurayshis that had not become Muslims yet thought about killing the Prophet. Shay­ba b. Uthman was one of them.

His father was killed during the Battle of Uhud; he was full of the feelings of revenge and hatred. He drew his sword. He wanted to approach the Prophet from the right side of the Prophet. He saw that Hazrat Abbas, the Prophet’s uncle, was standing there with his sword shining in his hand. He thought, “I cannot approach him while his uncle is there.” Then, he moved to the left side of the Prophet. He wanted to attack from that direction. However, he saw that Abu Sufyan b. Harith, the Prophet’s cousin was standing there. He thought, “His cousin will help him.” This time, he wanted to approach the Prophet from behind. He approached him and wanted to lift his sword. There was nothing that could prevent him from hitting the Prophet. Just then, a blaze of fire appeared between him and the Prophet. Shayba shivered and felt scared. He thought the blaze was going to scorch him. He closed his eyes due to his fear and moved back. Only then did he realize that the Prophet was protected by God.  

While he was moving back, the Messenger of God turned toward him smiling and said, “O Shayba! Come here!”

Shayba, who had dared to kill the Prophet a minute ago, was shivering and shaking in fear. He went to the Prophet, who put his blessed hand on his chest and prayed: “O God! Remove all of the delusions of Satan from him.”

All of a sudden, the feelings of revenge and hatred in his heart disappeared and were replaced by belief and love of the Prophet. Shayba described that moment as follows: “By God, before he removed his hand from my chest, there was nobody more beloved to me from him.”

Then, the Prophet said, “O Shayba! Come on, fight the unbelievers!”

Shayba said,

“I fought in front of the Messenger of God with my sword. I wanted to protect him with my soul and everything. If my father had been alive and appeared in front of me, I would definitely have killed him with my sword.”

Thus, a person who once said, “I will not be subject to Muhammad even if all Arabs and non-Arabs become subject to him” could not resist the attraction of the light the Messenger of God brought and embraced Islam.

The Islamic Army Gathers Strength Again

When the Messenger of God, who had been left with only a handful of mujahids, saw that the enemy was coming toward them like a flood, he wanted to spur Duldul, his horse, and fight them; however, Abbas was holding the reins and Abu Sufyan b. Harith was holding the stirrup of Duldul and trying to prevent the Prophet.

During this tumult, the Messenger of God said to his uncle Abbas, who was holding the reins of Duldul, “O Abbas! Call out this, ‘O Ansar! O Companions who paid allegiance to the Messenger of God under Samura tree! Where are you?’” Abbas called out in a strong voice.

The strong voice resonated through the valley. The mujahids who were running away stopped. After the dawn, it was getting bright; similarly, the mujahids came to their senses by getting rid of the fear that covered their hearts. It dawned on them; they said, “Where are we going? Who are we leaving the Messenger of God to?”

They looked as if they had woken up from a deep sleep. They remembered their promise to the Messenger of God and started to come to their senses. The feet that were running away started to run toward the Prophet, who was like a statue of courage in this tumult. The same thing had happened during the Battle of Uhud, too. The courage, strength and perseverance of the Messenger of God had prevented the Islamic army from a worse situation.

The mujahids that surrounded the Prophet drew their swords and started to attack the enmy. The clangs of the swords were accompanied by the takbir sounds of the mujahids. The enemy soldiers were terrified and frightened all of a sudden.

Heroic Companions like Hazrat Uthman, Hazrat Ali and Abu Dujana fought in front of the Messenger of God by using their bodies as shields for the Messenger of God. Hazrat Ali discouraged the enemy soldiers with his agility and courage.

During this most severe moment of the fighting, the Messenger of God stood up on the stirrups of Duldul and said, “Now, the oven has heated; the war has become hot!” Then he looked at the terrifying scene and called out, “I am the Messenger of God. This is no lie!”

With those words, he stated that prophethood and telling lies would not be together and that he believed in the help promised by God. This call was the harbinger of victory, which was the reward of patience and perseverance.

Meanwhile, Hazrat Ali and Abu Dujana killed one of the standard-bearers of the enemy. When Hawazins saw that their standard-bearer was killed, they started to feel scared.

[kiruuuuu]

I had the pleasure of talking this through with you, @cerosin​, and the end result is.... definitely unhealthier than your initial request, but I hope you’ll like it anyway :) I also certainly took my time with this, thank you for waiting and thank you for the request 🖤🖤 (Kapkan/Glaz, Rating E, angst fluff + smut, ~4.6k words)

.

He can tell when it gets bad again.

Obviously, there are the spontaneous bursts, attacks he can neither predict nor prevent and therefore has to react on the spot, but those have receded: the people around them have learnt how to avoid triggering anything, and Glaz has learnt how to remove Kapkan from these situations efficiently. No, this isn’t about sudden, blind panic, not about shortness of breath or wild eyes. This is about the prickling right below Glaz’ skin; like a constant stream it erodes the sense of safety that’s built up over weeks or, if they’re lucky, months. Erodes the complacency like it’s dust settling in bit by bit, undisturbed and growing. Glaz has stopped minding boring. Because boring implied a routine, and calmness, and freedom from -

From the alternative.

From what’s happening right now.

If anyone asked, he’d reply that he feels safe no matter what. That he’s in control, and even if he’s not, that he knows how to regain it; after all, he senses it coming as it accumulates slowly, yet not so slow he doesn’t notice. He’s safe, even if he wakes up to a sharp jab in the side or a hand around his throat, because he can deal with it. He’s safe, even if temper flares hotly at him like an open flame, because he knows it might lick him, leave a stinging burn, but it will never consume him.

He justifies himself to this non-existent asker, someone on the outside, a concerned citizen. He does this a lot, conducts conversations like he’s Plato writing a dialogue between his teacher, Socrates, and someone unimportant, someone only necessary to play dumb and prompt the next wall of text. Glaz goes into great detail until this imaginary person is convinced. He wonders what this says about him.

So yes. He’s as confident as ever, though he takes the warning signs seriously. He listens to the tone rising in volume with each passing day, powerless to stop it but capable of manipulating it.

.

“You’ve already asked me twice what I want for breakfast so stop fucking talking about it”, snaps the love of his life, a man who leaves him breathless in so many ways each and every day.

Glaz doesn’t mention how Kapkan has failed to give a straight answer so far, and instead defuses the tension with a bratty: “Guess I’ll just feed the leftovers to the neighbour’s dog then.”

He can basically hear Kapkan perking up at this, even if his back is turned. If possible, his lover would eat meat for literally every meal, and heated up for breakfast, he’s even more unable to say no. “You know I’d eat it out of her bowl if necessary”, he grumbles, the fire having died down as quickly as it reared up. Glaz has gotten extremely good at appeasing him over the years.

“I’ll take that as a yes then”, he summarises and tosses the scraps in question into the microwave. Self neglect is one of the largest red flags Kapkan wears on his back whenever it gets bad, and it’s the one Glaz will combat head on. It’s the one he’s allowed to mention as it doesn’t scream you’re abnormal, you’re ill, you’ve got issues – instead, he can disguise it as stress, something easily forgettable, low priority. As such, it’s easiest to deal with as he can remedy it immediately: suggest taking a bath together, which is something Kapkan never refuses, or he offers to cook, pretends he’s not feeling well and needs company so Kapkan joins him in bed early. Once there, his lover falls asleep quickly, but left to his own devices, he’d stay up till morning.

No, he doesn’t need to babysit him, Glaz informs his imaginary interviewer politely yet firmly. Kapkan can and does take care of himself. But if he can facilitate it, why shouldn’t he? He receives more than enough in return. Kapkan would die for him in a heartbeat, he knows this because it almost happened before, he’d do whatever Glaz demands of him, he’s a reliable presence in Glaz’ life, loving, supportive, strong. Their infatuation is mutual and not diminished by demons which are not Kapkan’s fault.

It’s difficult to predict how this episode will go. Some cumulate in a fight, be it verbal or physical, others peak unnoticeably and then ebb until Glaz nearly forgets about the whole thing, can’t imagine a universe where they aren’t the world’s most perfect couple. People often don’t appreciate their health until they fall ill. Glaz has learnt to fiercely appreciate the days on which every smile is teased out gently instead of requiring heavy machinery to surface.

.

They met in Spetsnaz, a perceived eternity ago, and by all rights should’ve separated unscathed instead of their lives intermingling the way they did in the end. Glaz’ hand to hand was rubbish and Kapkan consistently disappointed in him, leaving them both frustrated with each other, yet not to the point of memorability. Kapkan should’ve remained that morose instructor with the hard set to his mouth, and Glaz his largely incompetent yet well-meaning student of which he’s probably had plenty. Nothing about him was remarkable – nothing about either of them, really –, until some people fell ill and some others got married, and suddenly Glaz was accompanying his fellow Spetsnaz on an extended hunting trip. As if Glaz had been fifteenth in line for the throne and fate removed all fourteen in between, and now he was at his coronation, not entirely sure how he got here.

It wasn’t the two of them alone, of course, a few acquaintances and curious souls went with them, but overall not enough people to comfortably hide one’s personality for an entire month. This is when Glaz noticed that Kapkan, when talking about his passion, was easy to look at. The glint in his otherwise piercing pale eyes was contagious and Glaz inquired a lot more about hunting in general and Kapkan’s experience specifically than he’d originally intended.

Usually, Glaz falls easily, almost at the drop of a hat. Someone smiles at him wrong, someone does him an unexpected favour, and he’s gone. Lost. If this happens, it’s fleeting. But when it takes him a while to even realise he’s staring and hovering, it means it’s serious.

They require five years to get together.

During that time, they keep invading each other’s life almost by chance, end up assigned to the same place or on the same mission, and the grin he receives when they meet once more is a genuine one. Glaz longs for more and ever more: a laugh, then a touch, time spent alone, time spent alone that’s timeless and neverending in their minds. Every new bit which he almost wishes into existence he treasures and keeps it close to his heart so it warms him during the time between their meetings. This is how he thinks of his days now – either real, actual events, or merely waiting. When Kapkan isn’t there, reality loses its focus.

He doesn’t remember the words leading up the kiss and it’s something he regrets to this day. Vaguely, he recalls words too brazen and brash for his otherwise quiet, timid character, though they probably were nothing but innocent to others. But Kapkan – Kapkan understood, Kapkan who’s known him for years and can tell it’s unusual for him, and he let it happen. Despite nothing coming back, Glaz wasn’t under the impression of his flattery to bounce off the hard exterior, rather he noticed it penetrating the roughness, finding holes in its defence. Kapkan soaked it up. He refused to dance but admired Glaz’ efforts nonetheless. And so they kissed.

Kissed in full gear, the relief of an uneventful mission flooding their systems, perched in the snow next to each other and lost in conversation instead of paying attention to something their colleagues had under control anyway. A routine extraction, no support needed, and Kapkan pulled down the cloth hiding his lower face when Glaz offered him some warm coffee, and then their lips are touching, their breath visible in the icy air and Glaz’ shoulder killing him over this odd angle.

Despite going home alone that day, he got no second of sleep. His heart wouldn’t calm down, and neither his thoughts. I’m the happiest man alive, he thought, clear as day and not a doubt in his mind.

.

“Strip.”

It does have its good sides. Two, as far as Glaz is concerned: Kapkan sticks to him like Velcro to wool, knowing nobody else can keep him in check the way his lover does. The worse it gets, the more excuses pop up to stay at home, to go out alone, to take Glaz along. He doesn’t mind switching topics and reading body language like a hawk if he can hold Kapkan’s hand in return, witness his dry wit and remarkable patience.

The second positive side effect is linked to the first. Being around each other constantly leads to certain things.

Glaz takes his time because he knows Kapkan likes it this way. He follows their established routine and discards his sweater first without revealing any skin on his torso. The motion exposes his arms, which he flexes subtly – he doesn’t need to cast a glance at his lover to know his eyes have strayed from his face. His t-shirt is next, showing off his chest and the ridges of his abs through controlled breathing and contracting his muscles at the right moment.

It’s slow, this ritual of theirs, deliberate, hides nothing. Glaz feels more and more naked in more ways than one, as if he’s laying his soul bare together with his body. Undressing is too profane a word, can’t come close to denoting what’s happening between them. He bathes in Kapkan’s attention, normally is indifferent about his own body but now takes pride as he’s being desired – a conscious action for its own sake. Kapkan wants him. It’s a state of being rather than a base need.

He isn’t unaffected. The more fabric lines the floor, the warmer the air gets: Glaz is sweating in the cool bedroom, cheeks reddened and his excitement visible, even more so once he’s fully nude. He breathes hard and dares not meet Kapkan’s gaze. This isn’t about him, after all, this is about obeying and allowing Kapkan to let off steam and an exercise in control. This is how Kapkan convinces himself he’s in control. He needs to be, desperately. And challenging him on this is the last thing Glaz wants.

“Lie down.”

The command is sharp yet leaves Glaz’ skin unmarred: he’s used to this, even looks forward to it when he begins noticing the change in Kapkan’s behaviour. Complying is natural, the sheet a cold relief under his heated body. He expected to be ordered to suck him, which is the most common request he receives in moments like these – he likes drawing it out but Kapkan usually can’t wait to be inside him, so he rarely gets to blow him under normal circumstances. Right now, when it’s about showing off the power he holds over Glaz, Kapkan doesn’t mind dragging it out. Quite the opposite.

“Hold these.”

A twitch between Glaz’ legs, he can’t tell from which body part (or maybe both?), because he knows what these words mean. He doesn’t have the peace of mind for this, he’ll fail and it’ll all be over, he already knows this. Not once has he passed this challenge, not once was he able to see it through to the end, resulting in a heavy throb in his crotch for the rest of the night until he could take care of himself without Kapkan knowing. It’s the sweetest torture, but torture it is nonetheless. He’s sure he’ll disappoint his lover.

Regardless, he lifts his hands until he can put his fingers together, letting Kapkan place objects between each pair of fingertips. Tonight, they’re bullets, threatening to slip out and fall onto his belly immediately. Whether or not he’ll be satisfied today relies entirely on his ability to hold them, restrain himself from sudden movements, concentrate until it’s over. If even only one drops, Kapkan will stop.

His tongue is hot, scorching hot, and velvety smooth, and Glaz’ eyelashes are fluttering. He stares at the bare ceiling, praying to an unknown deity for strength and presence of mind, and then he’s enveloped whole. His body shakes with his stuttering in- and exhales, but he keeps the ammunition where it is. For now.

This is what it must feel like when he services Kapkan. Hardly more than teasing, only just enough to keep his pleasure climbing and climbing, however minuscule the progress. Glaz cherishes every centimetre he slips further into the wet heat and curses it simultaneously. His mouth is struggling to produce sound as it doesn’t seem to know what’s appropriate; no moans escape him, his gasps are aborted and all that leaves his throat is a pained gargling, almost unwilling because he wants this so bad, wants to enjoy it yet has to stop himself from losing to the overwhelming pleasure.

Only when Kapkan sits up does Glaz realise how tense he is, that every muscle in his body was painfully taut. Bit by bit, he relaxes consciously, fighting back the memory of how it felt to be touched, licked, loved like this in order to focus. One of the metal objects has shifted, so he corrects it. Just in time before a hand closes around him.

The callouses on their own do nothing for him, but paired with perfect technique and the knowledge of all his sensitive spots, it’s nearly too much. Glaz moves into the motion, lifts his hips in the hopes of a speedier resolution, cursing inwardly when the rhythm slows to a crawl in response. Kapkan isn’t making this easy for him, that’s the whole point. The ministrations cease again for a moment, Glaz’ thighs are lifted, his legs bent, and this time, when he feels a tongue exploring him, it’s further down.

He squeezes his eyelids shut. This is too much. He can’t bear it. His toes twitch with pangs of discomfort, but when the hand returns, the mixture tilts into nothing but pure bliss. With every lick, his hands jolt, and he’s somehow still holding on to the bullets, without knowing how but not caring, not when he’s being opened through nothing but Kapkan’s mouth. He can feel his breath ghosting over his skin.

When he can’t take it anymore, he seeks other outlets. He digs his heels into the mattress, throws his head left and right, moans and whimpers and keens at the digits probing deep while a slick muscle tugs on his rim and a tight grip brings him closer and closer. He’s shivering as if it was below zero, and still his fingers don’t budge. The centre of his universe are these five gleaming items, and fanning out from there is deep elation emerging from inside him. Moving isn’t against the rules, so he writhes and rises and falls, strains upwards and downwards and rides towards his climax with chattering teeth. He can’t lose himself or everything will be in vain. But he wants to, oh does he want to.

His orgasm shatters him. His back curves as soon as the first wave hits him, and there he remains, right on the zenith, the sensations hardly fluctuating – instead it’s a steady stream of impossible pleasure and relief flooding him and his rigid form. He’s so tightly coiled that he presses out the bullets from between his fingertips, the warmed metal falling to his stomach and mixing with the long stripes painted onto his own skin, but he couldn’t care less. It’s monumental and leaves him shuddering for a minute afterwards, still revelling in the intensity of the moment.

Sinking back into the pillows, it’s as if a spell has been lifted. Kapkan regards him with a mixture of pride and smugness, warming Glaz’ heart: gone is the no-nonsense stare, the hard set to his mouth, the roughness in his touch. They smile at each other, a soft palm trailing over Glaz’ hips and thighs, and all he wants is to sleep curled up against this man whom he knows so well.

“Turn around”, says Kapkan. And though there’s a gentle hint in his voice, it’s obvious he won’t accept a no.

He doesn’t ask whether it’s alright for Glaz, because he’d let him know if it wasn’t. They’re both aware Glaz would speak up, meaning his compliance directly implies permission. This unspoken rule makes a lot of things easier.

No preparation needed, Kapkan has worked him open with his mouth and fingers already, so he slides right into the sensitive and overstimulated hole. Up to the hilt. Glaz’ whine is lost in the pillows.

“You’re beautiful”, Kapkan whispers and Glaz feels it in his throat, balls his hands into fists and clenches them around the sheets because he won’t be shown any more patience this evening.

Despite the discomfort, he likes this, too, the rawness of it and the glimpse he gets of undisguised emotions. In between sharp snaps and hard thrusts, Kapkan compliments him, each of his words melting Glaz below him, and the kisses now and then mask the loud noises. He doesn’t dare reciprocate, keeps his vocalisations garbled and takes it without moving, drinking in the growls and not commenting on the teeth burying into his skin. They’ll leave marks, he knows this.

This is what Kapkan’s composed attitude from before hid, this is what he really feels. Glaz would never deprive him of this, no matter how uncomfortable it is, because it’s one of the purest displays of Kapkan’s love. He can’t get enough of Glaz, doesn’t seem to know what to do with all this affection he harbours, so now and then it spills over. It’s reassuring. Their feelings for each other are this strong.

While Kapkan showers, Glaz gathers the bullets and lines them up on the bedside table. Reflecting the soft light from outside, they shimmer like golden stars.

Glaz is aware they might use them to end someone’s life.

.

This time, the climax announces itself. Like a freight train, it makes itself known from quite a distance away, whereas Glaz is chained to the tracks; he’s got a date and even a time when he’ll be able to stare into the conductor’s eyes. He realises with horror that he’ll have to ride this one out, no way around it: Kapkan is scheduled for the exercise and found out before Glaz did, eliminating the possibility of approaching Harry about it. His defence would’ve been weak yet honest – in the moment, Kapkan will act and react exactly like his intensive training ingrained in him, no doubt about it. It’s the after which causes Glaz considerable anguish. But re-assigning him would draw his attention and then Glaz would bear the brunt of it personally and not by association.

Kapkan has been getting worse for a while now, his light, restless sleep a good indicator for rising agitation, and as soon as he hears about the exercise, he knows. No way around this either: he knows. Stubborn as he is, he’ll walk right into it expecting a different outcome, will deny any parallels locked in his mind between watching his colleagues go down, not knowing where the shots were coming from, expecting to be next, and experiencing much of the same in a controlled setting. I know it’s not real, he says, and then a different voice must pop up in his mind later: But this was. Remember? Let me remind you.

Glaz is fully aware of what will happen and Kapkan too, and still inaction is his best option. He distracts him with little sessions of having Kapkan describe a mutual acquaintance or friend while drawing exactly what he says and then prompting outraged chuckles when he presents the final result. He cooks every day, either breakfast or dinner, and Kapkan lets him. This is what worries Glaz the most, because he’s sure Kapkan can tell he’s walking on eggshells around him, and instead of calling him out on it, he accepts it quietly. Seems to appreciate the kid gloves. He’s never done this before, and it’s terrifying.

Two days before the scheduled catastrophe, Glaz finds himself in the kitchen, staring at the open cutlery drawer and catching himself wondering where he should stow it all. It takes him a long while to realise he’s crying, and even longer to understand why – Kapkan is in good hands tonight, out with people Glaz knows he can trust, and he’s had a relaxing evening involving a long bath, a good film, and delicious leftovers. He should be feeling better than he did all week, yet it’s achieved the opposite effect: all the pent-up tension is flowing out of him in salty droplets now that he doesn’t need to be painfully aware of his surroundings at all times. His joints are aching and he’s shivering; stress has caught up with him as well as all the thinking he postponed to less rainy days.

He thinks about how eerily calm Kapkan has been. How much he has postponed as well.

Slamming the drawer shut, he heads straight to bed and ignores the icy tendrils curling around his limbs, even though they only recede once Kapkan has joined him hours later.

.

The next morning, his outburst and physical discomfort become crystal clear, though the newfound explanation does nothing to quell Glaz’ dread. He’s ill.

Neither the first time nor the last he’s dragged himself into work despite a fever, though most of his co-workers care enough to point out his paleness. Staring back from the mirror is an ashen-faced shadow of a man drenched in sweat, and though it’s probably only the flu, the implications are far-reaching. Depending on whether he gets better today or not, he won’t be able to work tomorrow. Or accompany Kapkan. Cushion his fall.

At the end of the day, it seems an impossibility – concentrating on anything requires much more brain capacity than he has to spare, and keeping himself hydrated and fed is a task so monumental he can’t possibly shoulder it twice. Barely does he notice Kapkan shoving him into the shower to wash off the uncomfortable clamminess left on his skin, and the next time he’s lucid, he’s in bed with a jug of water on the nightstand. He must’ve been forced to take some medicine as the aching isn’t as bad anymore, he no longer feels like shedding his own skin and the pounding in his head has subsided. Like this, he can hardly depend on himself.

The air is fluffy snow on his skin, impeding his movements and causing his teeth to clack together as he fights his way to the living room, intent on spending every minute he can in Kapkan’s presence to soothe them both. All he gains, however, is an angry snarl and a manhandling the way he came – his lover isn’t having any of it. Still. He remains by Glaz’ side and he probably has his own pitiful whining to thank for it. Throughout the rest of the evening and the night, whenever he wakes up, there’s a solid presence behind his back. And even if Kapkan barely sleeps himself, he stays right where he is.

.

Waking up to an empty bed is a blow Glaz could do without. He feels better – marginally –, but what sends him into a full blown panic is the realisation that it’s out of his hands now. However Kapkan reacts today, he won’t be present to absorb the shock, and he can’t figure out the best course of action when he’s ignorant of what happened. Calling someone else to inquire in detail seems messy as it’d get them talking, meaning all he can do is wait.

So he waits.

Waits like someone on death row, barely touches the food Kapkan placed next to the refilled jug and skims the books next to the food listlessly. And waits. Waits for the inevitable jingling of keys, steps which might be soft or loud or disorientated, maybe the calling of his name. Several hours, he waits for it and when it happens, he’s still not ready.

“How do you feel?”, is Kapkan’s only question as he helps Glaz up, wraps him in a spare blanket and changes the soaked sheets.

He takes an eternity to answer. “Better”, he says through the headache and the shivering.

A stern glance. “You’ve always been a horrible liar.” And that’s that.

They spend the evening next to each other once more, Kapkan devouring his dinner while awkwardly perched on the mattress and reading something on his phone, and Glaz still waits. It’ll happen. It can happen any moment now, he knows this, knows the exercise took place as he got a text about it, and so he waits.

He recovers over the weekend and returns to work on Monday. They went for a few walks which left him weak but sharper-minded due to the fresh air, but as much as he scrutinises the mild-mannered man by his side, he finds no indicators of a lurking rage, simmering deep below. He knows it’s there. He knows it will surface in some way, maybe not directed at the environment but inwards.

Kapkan showers without a reminder. He brings Glaz meals and drops a comment about Glaz’ schedule being so messed up he doesn’t even know when to eat anymore. He tries to draw a squirrel for half an hour and only stops because Glaz is dizzy from laughing so much.

Gradually, he stops waiting. Healthy again, he knows he can deal with it whenever it comes, and so he focuses on the present.

And it never happens.

.

About four months later, Kapkan snaps at a grocery clerk for something insignificant. He leaves Glaz drooling, panting, shuddering and wholly satisfied that night after two hours of rigorous teasing. The next day, he jumps a foot in the air over someone dropping their phone.

A few people ask Glaz whether Kapkan is alright. He just smiles and assures them that yes, he’s doing fine. No, he doesn’t need any support. Yes, he’s got it all under control.

This time, he doesn’t need to justify himself to anyone made up.

That evening, he develops a fierce headache. It turns into a migraine so bad he can barely walk, so he whispers to Kapkan that he’s going to bed early and no, he doesn’t need to join him, he’ll be alright, he doesn’t need anything, and still he’s encased in strong arms not five minutes later and forced to swallow a pill which he instead hides under the mattress. He suggests some ice cream might help, and a shoulder massage, and miraculously, he feels much better the next morning.

When he enters the kitchen, Kapkan is whistling to himself, horribly out of tune and unconcerned who might hear him. He only whistles on good days.

“Better?”, he greets Glaz with a tone implying it’s Glaz’ own responsibility to remain healthy, but pulls him to his chest regardless, carding a hand through his hair gently. He’s soft. When Glaz nuzzles him with his nose, he lets out a low chuckle which reverberates in Glaz’ own torso. He’s never felt this safe.

“Yes”, he mumbles against warm skin. “Much better.”

[jacetorress]

JACE ISAIAH TORRES  ⁏  thirty-four  ○  security for lux & elias morgan’s right hand man  ○  downtown.

❝ APOCALYPSE BOY, YOU WON’T DESTROY ALL YOU TOUCH. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR DARKNESS AND MORE THAN THE DEATH YOU CARRY IN YOUR HANDS. ❞

⇨  aesthetics ⍮ the scent of fire and gasoline, a tall stature adorned in all-black attire, ghosts of bruises staining calloused skin green, an old punching bag in the corner of an old office, a towering figure shrouded in darkness as they linger in an empty church, bloodied noses and busted knuckles, a scuffed zippo lighter in a pack of marlboros containing only one cigarette, black shirts with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a sly smirk under stormy dark eyes, a sniper on the roof of a deserted building, the roar of a 1967 chevy impala engine, & a crumpled, worn family photo stuffed inside a wallet.

ALOHA !!! waddup, angels ?? it’s me, back at it again with another character bcos i have zero self control so here i am !! i’ll save you all from having to put up with my pointless babbles and get straight into it. as always, pls feel free to hmu on ims or discord ( chrissie.#9606 ) for plots and connections !!

FUNDAMENTALS.

full name. jace isaiah torres.

current age. thirty-four.

birthday. january 2, 1986.

gender. cisgender male.

pronouns. he / him.

nationality. british.

religion. raised roman catholic but no longer practices.

hometown. knightsbridge, london, england.

past residence. oxford, oxfordshire, england.

current residence. downtown, crystal city, united states.

sexual orientation. heterosexual.

romantic orientation. heteroromantic.

education. attended oxford university for a year before dropping out due to his mother’s passing.

occupation. security at violet, & elias morgan’s right hand man.

CONNECTIONS.

birth mother. katherine torres. †

birth father. alexander torres. †

step-father. nicholas carmichael. †

full blood siblings. none.

step-siblings. none.

maternal grandmother. julia monroe. †

maternal grandfather. andrew monroe. †

paternal grandmother. elizabeth torres. †

paternal grandfather. michael torres. †

maternal aunts. none.

maternal uncles. peter monroe.

paternal aunts. lucilee monroe, & miranda monroe.

paternal uncles. benjamin torres.

PROFICIENCIES.

spoken languages. english, & spanish.

negative traits. cunning, unfeeling, arrogant, cynical, & temperamental.

positive traits. astute, debonair, adroit, resolute, & adept.

strengths. sophistication, etiquette, professionalism, resourcefulness, integrity, delegation, honest, strong-willed, responsible, calm, practical, & a jack-of-all-trades.

weaknesses. impulsive, hot-tempered, stubborn, insensitive, judgmental, & by the book.

skills. skilled with firearms and other weaponry, hand-to-hand combat, lock-picking, carjacking, knowledge of automobiles, knowledge of the law, tracking people down, & excellent critical thinking and problem-solving abilities.

talents. piano, retaining information, memory recall, & marksmanship.

APPEARANCE.

eye colour. dark brown.

hair colour. dark brown.

height. six foot.

weight. 70 kg.

build. both tall and considerably broad, he is toned with an evident definition in his muscles.

scars. too many to count at this point.

tattoos. tba.

piercings. none.

glasses. n/a.

prominent feature. sharp, angular jawline.

MISCELLANEOUS.

zodiac. capricorn.

element. earth.

house. gryffindor.

myers briggs type. istj-a.

alignment. true neutral.

enneagram. type five.

temperament. choleric.

intelligence type. linguistic.

character label. the opaque.

past mental disorders. post-traumatic stress disorder, insomnia, & alcohol abuse.

current mental disorders. mild post-traumatic stress disorder, & insomnia.

addictions. alcohol, & tobacco.

vices. lust, wrath, & pride.

virtues. temperance, charity, & diligence.

allergies. n/a.

diet. carnivore.

accent. british.

dominant hand. right.

blood type. ab positive.

felonies. none.

vehicle. black 1967 chevy impala.

BACKGROUND.

TRIGGERS. car accident, death, domestic violence, drugs, violence, blades, stabbing, blood, & murder.

Born into a world of tenderness and light, Jace's arrival into this universe was a moderately placid one. The instant he opened his eyes to the world, he was a cherished and adored baby boy. This was how the young boy assumed his life would continue to play out: showered with affection and admiration, given endless love and support by both of his parents. With his father, Alexander, a renowned criminal lawyer and his mother, Katherine, an equally as esteemed neurosurgeon, the Torres family were respected, affluent and forefront in their community. Always hosting charity events, attending fancy galas, prominent figures at every fundraiser, the Torres' seemed as normal as just about any aristocratic London-based family. One might just say that Jace was destined for greatness — primed for success. Of course, all eyes of the extended Torres family were on the boy, watching and waiting to see how his story would unfold. Would he follow his father’s footsteps? Or his mother’s? The idea of him paving his own path had failed to cross the minds of them all.

     From a young age, Jace had been incredibly intelligent and adept, his keen perception proving to extremely surpass that of his age. He was able to captivate others with both his appearance and his capabilities. Those in his company hung off his every word, often discovering themselves enthralled by a charming and sincere young boy. Regardless of his family’s secured position in society and their abundance of riches, Jace never looked for much more than their approval and their devotion. It is perhaps this fact alone that makes the next chapter in his life one of those unbearable moments that seem to live on for the rest of eternity, an emotion so overwhelming that it lingers in your bones until the end of time — rattling them every so often to remind you of the pain. The tenth instalment in the story of Jace’s life is what he would nowadays refer to as the beginning of the end. All of the light and love that he had encountered throughout his life up until that point had only been leading him to the tragedy and devastation that would prevail from that day henceforth. The night that Jace had been sat down by his mother and told that his father had met his fatal end in a horrific car accident was the same night that Jace lost a piece of himself. A ten-year-old boy endured his first heartbreak then. And, unfortunately, the torment refused to cease. Jace’s existence prior to the horrendous atrocity that altered the very fabric of his nature endured for what would now seem to him a fleeting period in time. Yet, throughout those ten years of normalcy, every transient second aided in concocting the basis for all that was to come.

     Within the span of a single year, Katherine had found herself in the clutches of what Jace would grow to describe as a vulture; a man of a lower class who latched onto his mother — leeching off her riches while abusing her in the process. Soon, this man, Nicholas Carmichael, became Jace’s stepfather and things only dipped further south afterwards. Nicholas drank copious amounts of liquor, ran around behind Katherine’s back, smacked at Jace for defending his mother and the list went on. He manipulated Katherine, made her pick a side, tore her relationship with Jace asunder. Nicholas was indeed an angry, offhand man who often resorted to acts of violence toward both Katherine and Jace. During this time, and within the blink of an eye, Jace turned hostile and indifferent. It was as if he had transformed into a polar opposite version of what he’d always been — metamorphosing into an alternate version of his old self. Once a sheltered child who knew nothing but warmth and consideration, Jace was soon neglected, discarded and left to fend for himself. It was enough to turn him into a colder, less vibrant boy who soon became void of emotion and attachment. He picked fights with his stepfather for the sheer kick he got out of it, rebelled against his mother and found his once soft heart hardening as a result of years of enduring torment at the hands of Nicholas.

     Unfortunately for Jace, he’d stepped out of line one too many times and aged eleven, he found himself sent off to an all-boys boarding school. In one way, he was thankful to be shot of the horrid creature who claimed to be his stepfather. Yet, on the other hand, he spent sleepless nights worried about the mortality of his mother. All in all, though, his time spent in the educational facility was a positive one. He made friends, excelled in all of his classes and extracurriculars. For the years that Jace boarded at the school, his life seemed to be steering him down the right path. Once he graduated, he’d decided to follow the same path as his father: criminal law. He felt it was the right thing to do in order to honour his father. Jace wound up attending Oxford University where he resided in a dorm, visiting his mother on the weekends. However, as all good things do, they come to an end. In Jace’s case, his few years of bliss and contentedness arrived at a rather abrupt halt, taking a severe nosedive. He was nineteen when he learned of his mother’s passing and, ultimately, lost control of himself and of his path in life. He dropped out of university, moved back home and spent many months alone and aimless; desperate to find answers behind his mother’s suspicious death. Of course, Nicholas was nowhere to be seen. He hadn’t even had the decency to show his face at Katherine’s funeral. One thing was for sure, though: he’d walked off into the sunset with the Torres fortune, presumably never to be seen again. The details outlined in Katherine’s autopsy report had been vague and nobody seemed willing to help Jace in his search for answers. Though that did little to deter him from continuing to hunt for the truth behind his mother’s death. Without a shadow of doubt in his mind, Jace knew deep down that Nicholas had been responsible but with no evidence, the idea of justice being served seemed to drift further and further out of reach.

     Eventually, after years of fighting and persisting with his mission, Jace was able to uncover concealed elements of Nicholas’ background. As it turned out, the man was involved in gang activity and played a prime roll in drug trafficking throughout the streets of London. Though, still failing to get his hands on any kind of proof of Nicholas’ involvement in Katherine’s murder, a twenty-three-year-old Jace began to ponder if he should continue down this road. Tracking down his stepfather had consumed Jace whole, rotting him from the insides out. For so long he’d been holding onto an immense amount of resentment and wrath that he’d become bitter, hostile and obsessed. He knew it would only end in disaster if he continued to cling onto his vendetta and so for the following year, Jace pressed pause on seeking the truth. At least, until he’d happened upon a new lead that indeed confirmed his assumptions about Nicholas’ role in Katherine’s death. This was the break that Jace had been desperate for — the fuel that added flames to the fire within his belly. With new information and a penchant for revenge, he set off on his previously abandoned purpose.

     Admittedly, it had taken Jace months to successfully unearth the exact location of Nicholas and when he did, he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the information. Still, he set off for New York City with plans of confronting the man. Part of Jace wanted nothing more than to make his stepfather suffer, to subject Nicholas to torture as appalling as what Katherine had undoubtedly endured. Another part of him wanted to reveal all the little details that he’d uncovered, to tell him he knew what he’d done and watch his stepfather wince in objection and pathetically string one faux apology after another. Neither of these scenarios played out in the end. Instead, Jace’s first encounter with Nicholas after all this time had an entirely different outcome than he’d anticipated. Managing to tail the older man to Lux, Jace decided to linger around outside in the hopes that Nicholas would make an appearance. As fate would have it, only a mere hour had passed and there he was, leaving the building alone; having been removed from the vicinity for hassling one of the dancers. As Nicholas made his way to the back of the club, Jace followed in the shadows. Stood at the edge of the establishment to watch his stepfather from afar, Jace considered the endless possibilities that had entered his mind the second he set eyes on the man who’d destroyed his life.

     When Jace eventually approached his stepfather, the look that claimed Nicholas’ face was one of incalculable shock and Jace couldn’t help but feel a twisted sense of pride in how his sheer presence brought about such dismay in the other man. He had to admit though, that it sent a strange twinge of nostalgia mixed together with dejection down the length of his spine. Jace had a collection of cruel words and obscenities he so desperately wanted to hurl the older man’s way. Alternatively, he opted for asking a question that had been haunting his warped mind for almost a decade. “Tell me, Nicholas. Why did you do it? Why did you murder my mother?” The inquiry almost made the other male tumble out of his shell even after he admitted that yes, he had been the one to end Katherine’s life and lacked even a shred of remorse. There was something in Nicholas’ blasé tone of voice that triggered an immediate rage deep within the pit of Jace’s stomach, bubbling and bubbling away, rising up and up until the only colour he could see was red and unfortunately for Nicholas, he was on the receiving end of Ross’ explosion. Moving in a flash, before he knew it, Jace was invading Nicholas’ personal space and the small blade he had been carrying was sunk into Nicholas’ abdomen.

     Finally, once Jace had recoiled and his fists that had been balled into the fabric of Nicholas’ jacket eventually unfurled, his dark eyes took in the sight of the elder man’s towering figure collapse to the ground beneath him. Dropping his gaze to his hands, Jace noticed the way that the colour slowly began flowing back into his knuckles that had been white from the thin skin stretching tightly over the protruding bones. Flipping over his uncurled palms, Jace noted the way his hands trembled only marginally less than he expected they would be. It was the shrieking resonating in his ears that brought him to divert his attention toward Nicholas who was writhing around on the ground as a result of his suffering and loss of blood. Jace knew he had to get out of there — that he had to leave before he’d give anyone the chance to flock toward the screams and clap their eyes on his guilty face. As he backed away, watching the actions of his decision unfold, the feeling inside his gut was different than he imagined it would be. He had made the decision to kill Nicholas, there and then in the heat of the moment and it was a gradual and torturous death. A death inflicted by him deliberately, no matter the fact that it wasn’t premeditated. Lacking the desire to stick around and witness Nicholas’ final screech, Jace ran and before he even had the chance to allow any sort of repentance to seep into his body for what he’d just done, a gathering of men stepped out of a dark alleyway in front of him just footsteps away from the scene of the crime. There was something about the way in which they emerged from the darkness that caused Jace to immediately cease in his footfalls and as he briefly surveyed the area he realised there was nowhere left for him to run — there were too many of them and although he tried to fight them off, he was vastly outnumbered.

     How Jace had managed to defend himself against the others, able to hold his own and give as good as he got, was beyond him. In the end, he pegged it down to sheer luck. Despite such a fluke, he was far from being out of the woods. Having witnessed the murder of Nicholas and how Jace had been able to stand his ground against the group, the eldest of the group of men had stepped forward to explain that he could use a young man of Jace’s stature and expertise. This was precisely how a then twenty-five-year-old Jace wound up entangled with the Berk-Morgan family. Initially, he was hired as a security for the same club that he’d slaughtered Nicholas outside of. After quite some time as an associate, he befriended Elias Morgan; soon becoming a confidant and someone the other trusted. Of course, the trust was mutual. And this has brought him into the position of becoming Elias’ right hand man. Now thirty-four, with nine years of experience under his belt, Jace is worlds away from the man he used to be. A shell of the man he used to be. Simply put, Jace has resigned himself to the reality that happiness is never going to be an emotion he will feel in his heart. He is closed off and secluded. He is mysterious and holds everyone in his life at arm’s length, afraid to let them in; only permitting people to see what he wants them to see and know what he wants them to know. His life is full of a myriad of memories soaked in blood and torment. A plethora of crooked dealings and immoral acts. But this is his life now and he isn’t prepared to give up the good fight – not after everything he has gone through just to be exactly where he is right now. A fighter has always lived inside of Jace Torres.

WANTED PLOTS.

give me all of the connections from friends, frenemies, enemies, hookups, exes, rivals and everything else in between. added bonus if there’s angst or drama. if you have anything in mind feel free to throw it at me, i’m open to the majority of things and have zero triggers so come at me bro !!

[dykerightsmp3]

like it’s funny, MARINA’s Electra Heart is used as an aesthetic constantly but I almost never hear anything about its actual content so here are the best things about one of the best albums of all time

Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll / Don't care if you think I'm dumb, I don't care at all

Bubblegum Bitch is an absolute bop to start off but it plays super well with this superficial ideal – it’s an introduction to the album as something just slightly satirical and also as a medium used to explore the roles women are placed within, and it establishes the idea of the songwriter playing a character

my favorite thing said about Primadonna is actually something Marina says: “It’s about not needing anybody when it comes to love—your raison d'être is to live for adoration. Girls usually feel like this when they are not appreciated in a relationship.” like, it’s her owning this thing that her ex-boyfriend used to throw at her. metal

the sort of rising howling oooooh right before the final chorus of Lies

also the way she sings you only ever touch me in the dark 

Homewrecker is this same reclaiming as Primadonna but also a statement on Why we express ourselves in that type of deceptive romanticism

But deep down all you want is love / the pure kind we all dream of / but we cannot escape the past / so you and I will never last

this idea of there being no real point to trying to make it last because you’re projecting this image so hard

you don’t love me / big fucking deal / I’ll never tell / you how I feel

I have sooooo much to say about Starring Role that can’t fit here but some underrated elements include: the notes in the background of the chorus that start over “when you are not the starring role”; how the music starts out pretty simple and sad and builds up in this almost desperate way; how it uses Primadonna imagery as a demand to simply be loved back

you’re like my dad / you’d get on well / i’ll send my best / regards from hell is absolutely one of the most Oh-Shit lyrics ever written it still makes me gasp every time I listen to it

Ending State of Dreaming on the simple line “my life is a play”

the transition from the stark abrupt realism of Starring Role to the dreamy music of State of Dreaming, and then going from this dreamy song to a song about being in control

yeah you may be good looking but you’re not a piece of art

the all-over-the-place bridge of Power & Control and how she goes from saying “doesn’t mean that I am weak” and just continues repeating “I am weak” over much more haunting music

I can’t decide which one of these is the best rhyme ever: I wanna be a bottle blond / I don’t know why but I feel conned vs I want back my virginity / so I can feel infinity

some cool shit said about Valley of the Dolls: “This song is like breaking point – it’s poising on the edge, and listener doesn’t know if Electra will manage to fight or she’s gonna be defeated to the point of suicide.”

how after that song about alienation, we move back into Hypocrates, a song that’s so much a breakdown and a statement of lack of ownership

the fact that Hypocrates is used both as a reference to being a hypocrite and doctor – like someone who wants to diagnose her problems

I know you only want to own me.

also like I know Buy the Stars isn’t on the US version but since the lyric is similar please just know that the delivery of the line “you know only how to own me” in that song is fucking Gorgeous

this might be known by others but in looking through the lyrics for this album I discovered that the reason Living Dead, Lonely Hearts Club, and Buy the Stars aren’t on the US deluxe (and probably the reason Sex Yeah is in a different place too) is because they were written for a different conception of this album. 

which is actually interesting in terms of thematic coherency -- this album is focused on the Four Archetypes, yes, but it’s essentially about 1) the relationship between love and control, 2) owning the insults that are thrown at women, and 3) emptiness. and I’d guess Hypocrates and Sex Yeah were both originally on the first album.

with That being said, How to Be a Heartbreaker changed me as a person at age 11 and still remains one of the most iconic beats I’ve ever heard.

AT LEAST I THINK I DO

Girls don't want / We don't want our hearts to break, in two / So it's better to be fake / Can't risk losing in love again, ba-abe and also how her voice GOES UP on that note

honestly dude the bridges on this album are all very confessional and also all honestly slap way too hard

'Cause the night is your woman, and she'll set you free vs. In the night your heart is full and by the morning empty

Radioactive is such a bop but also hurts? this song, to me, is about the conflict between desire for control and the way you feel around someone else; it’s about attempting to close off emotion in an attempt

the entire decision to end on Fear and Loathing 

this track... fucks. like it begins with this really sad statement about filling your heart with emptiness and then transitions into this statement on deciding to let go, and also the high notes oh my god, and the way she sings the chorus repeat, and also the damn ending.

And when the time comes along / And the lights run out / I know a light will burn on / When they blow me out

I think on a story level you can think of this song as the character letting go or maybe dying, but you can also think of it as the songwriter letting go -- this is an album about performance, of stereotypes or of control or of emptiness, and this song is letting go of all those things, letting go of trying to have it all and trying to divide yourself into archetypes and just being. which is wonderful

anyway I love Marina happy pride month to everything she’s ever done