#thinking back to my first fic i think i've improved my writing but we'll see :P

[lucy90712]

love your fics so much could you write one where jude and the reader are football player it could be fluff or like any other scenario ❤

"Mum can I go and play football with Jude?" I asked 

"As long as you are back for dinner go ahead and remember what I've taught you about being mindful of your surroundings" my mum said 

"Thank you thank you" I replied grabbing my boots and running out the door 

Jude was waiting at the end of my driveway for me with his boots and a football in hand. Before I even reached the end of the driveway he challenged me to a race to the football pitch at the end of the road. He always does this he likes to challenge me to a race when he knows I'm at a disadvantage but today I was ready and I started sprinting until I overtook him just before the entrance to the pitch. It's the first time I've beaten him in a race so I celebrated while he sulked and told me I cheated. 

To settle our argument we decided on various tests to see who was best at football which is something we also argue about a lot but it makes us better as we spur each other on to be our best. Without Jude I wouldn't be as good as I have become without him making things hard for me I wouldn't have made the academy for the local girls team but that doesn't mean I don't want to beat him. The first challenge was dribbling which I am so much better at and I beat Jude quite easily next was 1v1s which he was better at as he was able to get past me with just a bit of force. We did more challenges after that but we were still even by the end of them so we decided to settle things with a keepy uppie competition. It isn't our strong suit but we were both so determined to win that we both reached our personal bests before all of a sudden I lost control of the ball and dropped it giving Jude the win.

"That was fun we should do this again sometime and see if we've improved" Jude said 

"Yeah but for now congratulations you did well" I said 

"Thank you but you were great too you are going to kill it at the academy" he said 

"Thank you I sure hope so" I said 

"I hope we both make it as professionals would that be fun we can tell people we were friends since we were 6 and we played together every day after school we can be the best friends that conquer football" Jude said excitedly 

"That would be fun" I replied 

~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm leaving for Germany next month I signed a contract with Borussia Dortmund" Jude said 

"But we'll still stay friends right?" I asked 

"Of course I might be moving but that doesn't mean you won't still be my best friend" he said 

Those words still stick in my mind. Jude left a year ago now and he kept up with his promise for a few months but as he got busier and got more media attention he forgot about me and we lost contact. I always knew Jude would make it and I hoped that we would stay friends when he did but I was stupid to think that he'd remember me when he could have famous friends. For a while it hurt but then I used it as motivation to make myself a better player so I too could make it and become successful like Jude. 

It took a year of hard work and a lot of sacrifice but I did it. Last night I flew to Barcelona to sign my first proper contract as an fc Barcelona player. I never thought I'd get to sign for one of the best if not the best women's team in the game but clearly I made enough of an impression in the women's championship for someone to see something in me and take the chance. I know this is a big opportunity and I don't want to waste a single second of it any chance I get to play I am going to put in 110% as I know this is my chance to live my dream. 

Going to the club to have my presentation feels so surreal. The transfer announcement came out yesterday and ever since my phone has been blowing up with messages from just about everyone I've ever met in my life and my following on instagram has reached numbers I never thought I'd see. Before my presentation I had a bit of time to chill so I went to text my mum as she's been my biggest supporter and I wouldn't be here without her so I want to keep her updated on everything going on as she couldn't make it to be here today. Just as I was about to click on her contact a text popped up from the last person I expected to hear from. Jude. He must've seen something on social media and remembered my existence finally but honestly I couldn't be mad I was just happy to hear from him again. 

Jude 

Hey I've just seen the announcement congratulations I always knew you'd make it Barcelona are lucky to have you 

You 

Thank you it's been crazy but I'm so happy to be here how have you been it's been a while 

Jude

Yeah I'm sorry about that I didn't think my schedule would be so insanely busy but I've been good playing for a big team is so much fun you'll really love it 

You 

I'm already loving it I've got to go to my presentation now but promise me we'll actually keep in touch this time 

Jude

I promise and I won't break that promise this time 

~~~~~~~~~~

Jude actually kept his promise this time and we talked every day but it was like no time had passed since we last spoke. Jude has always been so easy to get along with and that hasn't changed we can speak for hours about nothing but it doesn't feel like it the time passes so quickly. After we started talking more we made time to actually see each other in our free time I'd go and visit him in Germany and he'd come and see me here not as often as we'd like but it was nice to see him again. 

Both of us had grown up a lot in the year we didn't see each other Jude had grown and he didn't look like a kid anymore. I'd never found Jude attractive until I arrived in Germany and saw him waiting for me at the airport. I didn't think I'd ever look at him that way as we've always just been friends but something about his smile and the way he'd matured made him so much more attractive to me. I tried to ignore it as we've just reconnected as friends and I needed the support of someone who's experienced their first season and knows the ups and downs. 

Ignoring it didn't last long though as Jude arrived to Barcelona to surprise me on the weekend of my debut with roses and asked me on a date after the match. I didn't see it coming at all but he explained that he'd had feelings for me for a while but after we lost contact he'd pushed them to the back of his mind until we started talking again and he couldn't ignore them anymore. I was a little hesitant as I was scared that things wouldn't work out but after our first date all those worries went out the window as it was just so perfect I felt like a little kid with a crush the entire time which is not something I've felt on any other date. 

We went on a few more dates before Jude asked me to officially be his girlfriend. Since then we've made a lot more effort to see each other as much as we can even if it means flying to random cities to catch each other for a few hours or using our days off to go and see the other play in important matches. It's not easy to be so far apart and have schedules that don't work together but we've made it work and it makes our time together so much more special so we have to soak up every second we get together. The hardest part has been the uncertainty of football you never know when you are going to get hurt or when another team might make an offer and you'll have to move to another country but we've been really lucky so far that nothing has gone too wrong. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Barcelona star under fire after details of relationship with new Real Madrid signing Jude Bellingham emerge 

The new Romeo and Juliette? How did the forbidden relationship between y/n y/l/n and Jude Bellingham begin

Questions about y/n's commitment to Barcelona as relationship with Jude Bellingham is confirmed 

I should've seen it coming after Jude told me about his move to Real Madrid but I thought people would have enough common sense to realise that Jude and I got together long enough ago that he wasn't a Real Madrid player at the time. It also shouldn't, matter my commitment to my team shouldn't be based on who I'm dating and I shouldn't be receiving so much hate over it especially when Jude isn't getting any. Jude has been great though he's been defending me and our relationship in interviews and he's been telling me that what other people think doesn't matter as we know what we have and that it doesn't affect our careers at all. 

I wasn't worried about the media though they can think whatever they want I was worried about my teammates and if they would judge me. It was stupid to think that though as instead of acting cold towards me or judging my choices the first thing they asked was if I was ok after the barrage of hate online. They all understood that I'm more than my relationship and that I didn't have control over Jude's career. Having their support meant a lot to me as my team is incredibly important to me and I'd never want to break their trust but luckily they don't see this situation as me betraying them like everyone else seems to think. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Today was the most nerve wracking day of my life the champions league final the biggest match of my career so far. All of my friends and family including Jude were coming to the match which added to the pressure I was putting on myself as I didn't want to let any of them down after they travelled to watch me play. My teammates were also counting on me as I've become a vital member of the team with the injuries we've had and of course I don't want to let them down either not after they've had so much faith in me from the minute I arrived. 

It was a hard match the first half was tough but eventually we were able to make a break through and somehow the ball ended up by my feet and I knew I had to just go for it which I did and the ball went straight past the goalkeeper and into the net. The feeling of scoring a goal in such an important game can't be described I felt like I was going to cry but also explode with excitement at the same time. That feeling carried me for the rest of the game until the end where we finished the match winning 2-0. Hearing the final whistle is when I finally let my tears go I just couldn't hold them in anymore as all of the adrenaline I've been feeling all day came crashing down. I'd just won the biggest trophy of my career and I scored a goal it all just felt so surreal. 

The trophy presentation went by so fast and before I knew it friends and family were allowed on the pitch. The first person I saw as my mum so I ran straight to her to hug her and of course she was crying which made me cry again but we still shared a lovely moment together. Then I saw Jude who was smiling so much as he picked me up off the ground and spun me round while kissing me. Once he put me down I showed him my medal and I started rambling about the game as I love to talk to him about all my games as he understands what I'm talking about. As we were talking a tv crew came over and the presenter asked us to do an interview. 

"Jude you must be so proud that was a great match for the whole team but especially y/n" the interviewer asked 

"Yeah I couldn't be prouder I think y/n has shown everyone that she's an amazing player that isn't affected by the unnecessary hate she receives online" Jude answered 

"We know that there was a lot of backlash over your relationship has that affected you at all" they asked 

"I didn't receive much hate it was all directed at y/n very unfairly but no it hasn't affected either of us we are still both dedicated to our clubs like we always have been even before I moved to Madrid and we support each other no matter what as it's not like we will ever play against each other so I will always be her biggest cheerleader" Jude said 

"That's very sweet I'm glad you are both happy together and congratulations on the win y/n hopefully you can do the same in a few weeks Jude" the interviewer said

Jude's interview really made me blush as he's always stood up for me but to be stood right next to him and hear him say all these things while he held me tightly to his side made me fall even more in love with him. Once the interview was over Jude told me to forget about all the hate and the people who don't like and to just enjoy the moment which he's right about this is a big moment in my career and I need to just soak it all in. There is no one I'd rather soak it all with than Jude so I'm glad he's by my side. 

[slutshamethesquirrels]

Shamesy's Declassified Fanfic Writing Survival Guide - Part 3

Help! The world is burning and everything sucks!

hi hi friends!!! welcome back to the fanfic writing survival guide!

today i'm gonna cover a bit of a "no-no" topic, if you will. its something i've been struggling a lot with here recently and something i'm witnessing other authors go through as well: writer's block... or, at least, what you might think is writers block.

today, we'll be talking about what to do when you lose interest in your fic. and, respectively (possibly more importantly), what not to do.

1) Beat yourself up

Look, I know, I know. Theres a chance right now you're kicking yourself and loosing ur marbs because your little writer peanut brain has convinced you that you are satan's incarnate and everyone hates you and wants you to die.

this is, undeniably, untrue. i implore you to do whatever it takes to get out of this headspace before you do anything at all. go outside, touch some grass, maybe eat a bug, just really get in touch with the real breathing world with no fictional dick n balls for a while. however long it takes to realize your intrinsic value is not tied to the fictional dick n balls. there are no fictional dick n balls out there, friends. only real ones.

here u go, look at this:

feel better yet? if not, keep staring until you do. it'll get funny eventually, i swear.

2) Force yourself to write the damn thing anyway

this is only gonna result in a sub-par product, and your readers can tell. no, they can, i promise. it's always evident to me when an author has lost steam.

i dont want ur poo poo writing, and neither does anyone else. i would rather you abandon it entirely than ruin it-- AHT AHT! TAKE UR FINGERS OFF THE KEYBOARD RN!!! NO!!! BAD FIC AUTHOR!! BAD!!

3) Think you owe your readers anything

another controversial statement but what am i good for if not being a big ole bitch??

look, we love our readers. we ALL do but you simply cannot pour from an empty cup for them. you come first, your mental health and general health comes first. your interests come first and your wants and needs come first. if they want superhot!chad!alphamale!jimmy neutron x reader or whatever that fucking badly, they can write it themselves.

1) Write other things!

Yep yep!!! Write a one shot, a drabble, a personal self indulgent story, some poetry, whatever floats your boat!!

Remember, this is supposed to be fun! You are allowed to indulge in whatever you want to, shocker, I know!!! the world is your oyster baby! branch out to other fandoms, re-visit old dead writings you've re-gained interest in, write a character you don't usually write, jump on a roleplay forum and just chill, my dude. kick back and remember why you enjoyed it!

2) Put it on hiatus!

"NOOOOOO!" the readers shout and then immediately explode. "YEEEESSSSSS!" I respond just as violently. Seriously, push it away from your nog for a bit. Let it rest. I would rather see a good chapter from you in six months from now then to get something soulless. If you just cant rn, thats fine!!

3) Grab a buddy and have them critique you

god, i will forever be in debt to @vallification for having this type of friendship with me.

we often think of critique and feedback as a negative, but it can often breathe a new life into your work!! message your most down to earth and honest bud, send the draft over and just say "hey i fucking hate this why do i hate this" and chances are a pair of fresh eyes will be able to point out things to you you didn't see before. nut up and quit being a baby, we all have shit we can improve on. who are you, jesus christ? if yes, could you PLEASE answer my prayers and send me a hot n' spicy mcchicken to my door via drone and/or angelic delivery?? im not asking for much, dude its the best fast food sandwich.

"but shamesy, im super hermit basement dweller core and don't have a friend thats kind of a bitch that would--" yes the fart you do. im right fucking here, rude ass <3 my dm's and asks are always open.

3A) Bounce ideas off said homie

again, val could absolutely sit on my face for this. we throw ideas back and forth constantly. you have no idea how absolutely megamind brain your dogs can be until you ask them.

4) Just start virtually sharting onto a page

this is how suguru blue AND a first time for everything were created!!

just start typing and see what happens! sometimes it doesn't work out (#shamesy's failed ficlets ) but no matter the case it'll help you loosen up a little

5) Take your writing on the go!!

ooooo I LOVE THIS ONE!! Take your laptop or phone to the park, the beach, a coffee shop or cafe and just make it feel less like work and more like play! this can do WONDERS for your creativity! the library is also a great place, because you have so much literary inspiration to quickly reference!

hope this helps!! you can check out my masterlist to find the other two survival guides as well as all my writings! stay cooch!!!

[bropunzeling]

If you're up for some random-ass questions, here are some questions for the new year!

what fic were you proudest of this year?

what fic are you most surprised you wrote?

favorite old (to you) ship this year

favorite new (to you) ship this year

favorite old (to you) ship you picked up again this year

favorite old man (old man being a state of mind not gender) ship (maybe you ship a younger version of them but they're Old Men now)

ships/characters you're excited about in 2024

fics/plot bunnies you're excited about working on in 2024

give a random prediction of any kind - about your own writing, about your fandom's fic trends, about canonical developments in your fandom

share a random thought about fics you've written, characters you're thinking about, writing in general, etc

Feel free to pass on if you'd like, or not! Happy new year!

thank you anon! what a great excuse to ignore the work computer. also consider this a blanket "steal these prompts" from me for whoever is so moved bc i don't want to tag everyone

what fic were you proudest of this year? i might have to say only fools rush in aka marriage bets! it certainly is the longest one i've written and had the longest gestational period. plus i wrote a lot of it while incredibly busy (tho maybe that helped?). im still happy i managed to hit the balance between ridiculous premise and genuine feeling that i was aiming for, and that i managed to figure out and feel comfortable in a new pov.

what fic are you most surprised you wrote? linger. if you told me a year ago i was gonna write 65k of omegaverse i simply would not have believed you! it wasn't a trope i ever thought i would write! and yet here we are. lmao.

favorite old (to you) ship this year? i mean. viva la ratfiction. someday we may run out of steam but not this year by golly!

favorite new (to you) ship this year? the amount brady/quinn clawed its way into my brain this year cannot be overstated. maybe i was exploring last year but this year is when it really got me in a fucking chokehold. the pining! the friends to lovers of it all!!!!! exquisite. honorable mention to matthew/sasha. those two ARE in love.

favorite old (to you) ship you picked up again this year? earlier this fall i started a rewatch of miss fisher's murder mysteries and god. jack and phryne. they are EVERYTHING. someday i really will write fic for them.

favorite old man (state of mind) ship? gotta be honest first thing that came to mind was band of brothers winters/nixon. we'll go to chicago. i'll take you there.

ships/characters you're excited about in 2024? hmm brady/quinn, obvi. the general state of brady tkachuk and how i'd like to give him a midlife crisis and by midlife i mean when he's 29. jamie and trevor are BACK baby, and i wanna make trevor sad and making poor choices for 50k before he finally gets to get kissed. has someone written timmy stu and mo seider as summer boyfriends yet? bc i still like that.

fics/plot bunnies you're excited about working on in 2024? i think i have tentatively figured out my next long matthew/leon project (which i can't start until the new year) but i don't want to say quite yet in case i scare it off but! that. it WILL be a true slow burn which will be fun. also ballet quinn i WOULD like to put more than 2k in your gdoc. hopefully at some point soon inspiration will hit again/i'll feel less dull and burnt out

give a random prediction of any kind - about your own writing, about fandom trends, about canonical developments in your fandom: the kraken will sign yamo to a longer contract. i will start a project thinking it will be nice and short and then watch it double, like bread dough rising.

share a random thought about fics you've written, characters you're thinking about, writing in general: did you know the more you write the better you get? even though there’s plenty of areas where i want to improve and become a stronger, more thoughtful developer of sentences/plots/et cetera, i can really see my growth from month to month or year to year and that's neat!!! i'm slowly getting better!!!

[hecckyeah]

1, 10, 17, 32! :)

Heyyy, thanks so much for the ask!! <3

1. What inspired you to start writing fanfiction?

Mainly the Lord of the Rings, actually!! I read the books when I was about 10 or 11, and that was my first exposure to the world of fandom, mostly through tumblr screenshots on Pinterest, and ff.n through the "experimental browser" feature on my kindle, since screen time was highly limited in my house. (Unfortunately some of the first fics I read were blatant Mary Sue self-insert re-writes of the LotR movies on ff.n where the self-insert always ends up falling in love with either Legolas or like. Pippin. or something. Yikes.)

I'd been writing little stories way before that, literally ever since I could hold a pencil or type on a keyboard, and after I discovered the world of fanfiction, writing my own was the logical next step. One of my first fanfics was this weird thing I wrote with my sister, called the Fellowship of Insanity, and yeah. it's as bad as it sounds.

Anyway, those were dark times but I'm grateful that they spurred me to write my own (hopefully better) stories. And we'll leave it at that :)

10. What's your favorite part about the fic writing process?

Honestly, I think the inspiration stage, where all of a sudden I can almost feel a story in its entirety before I even start writing it, and not like I know all the plot points and everything, but more just. the vibes. I don't know, it's hard to explain.

Also that point where I don't even have to think about what I'm writing -- the words are just forming themselves basically, and I'm just trying to keep up with them. That's where some of my favorite (not always the best) parts come from, and even if I have to go back and edit afterwards, I usually end up keeping the general format of what I wrote. I always feel unbeatable and unstoppable when that happens :)))

17. What's the most memorable comment or review you've received on one of your fics?

Oh, probably every single one by @kanerallels @accidental-spice and @redvanillabee !! I love when someone is as enthusiastic as I am about a fic -- they ALWAYS make me smile. All comments do, but there's something about their energy and support that I'm SO grateful for!!

Also, one I keep going back to when I doubt my skills is this one by SilreyRevs on the medic -- they're so thoughtful and notice the parallels I had hoped people would pick up on and they just do a really amazing and kind critique of a writing style I hadn't really posted before and was nervous about sharing, and I'm pretty sure I had tears in my eyes while reading it!!!

32. Have you ever participated in fanfiction contests, challenges/fests?

Oh yeah, I've done a couple of challenges in my time, but nothing big and none that I remember off the top of my head. Mostly right around the Agents of SHIELD season 7 craze, where Dousy challenges and prompts were really big and I wrote an absolutely insane amount of drabbles and one-shots! I would love to do more in the future though, now that I feel like my writing skills are slowly improving! I don't think I would do contests though, honestly. I write for the absolute fun of it, and all that pressure and uncertainty isn't exactly my forte. But we'll see, maybe someday, if the right thing comes along!

---

questions for fic writers

[stinastar]

20 questions for fic writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 101! Wow! Keep in mind many are short, and one is an even shorter poem about eggs 🥚

2. What’s your total A03 word count? 188,209

3. What fandoms do you write for? I honestly don't know how to answer this properly haha. I still have drafts or thoughts for fics for Good Omens, The Witcher, James Bond, and Our Flag Means Death. I'm currently mainly into writing Jason Todd (Red Hood / Batman).

I just looked in my folder and I also have notes for a piece each for Lord of the Rings and Shadow and Bone, but it's unlikely those will ever be finished and posted lol.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Of Dragons and Heartbreak, we’ll rip up the map by the seams, Which Half?, Sweet Truth, The Dumb Brute and the Bardling. So all for The Witcher, unsurprisingly. I don't think this kind of metric means much, honestly. It just means it was a big popular fandom at the time, I was writing the most popular ship, and these had tropes people were after. I think, at least. I by no means think those are my best works, is all I'm saying.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Of course! I love love love getting comments and so make an effort to always reply to them. If I missed one I promise it was by accident!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I think that has to be you’ve got a second chance, you could go home. I'm still quite pleased with it. But people really wanted it fixed, so I did write a follow up :)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I honestly don't know how to quantify that 😅 Maybe Fire Me Up? The fic as a whole is very soft and sappy.

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, not really. I had one nasty comment a few years back from a fan that clearly hated a character and wanted to make that my (and others') problem, lol, and have had a few iffy comments here and there, but.

9. Do you write smut? Not reallllly. But I used to only fade to black, and have started dabbling in writing sex scenes a bit, so we may get there. We'll see. I didn't think I would, lol.

10. Do you write crossovers? No (that one crackfic notwithstanding, lol), they don't really interest me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of 🤞🏻

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I know of, but what an honour!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I don't think so, yet? I wrote a fic that went along with others, once, and I have a very neglected draft that I was working on with @ahh-fxck (sorry friend!), but I don't think I have a fic posted that I wrote with someone else...?

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? You want me to pick between my precious babies?? lol. I honestly really don't know that I have one.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Pffft, sadly and honestly, so many.

16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue comes quite easily for me, and I think I tend to do it well. The rest has been a WIP lol, but I think I've been improving!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Everything else. Ha!! For real though. All the stuff in between dialogue lol. Longer stories. Patience (lack thereof). I'm getting tired because kiddo would not GTFTS, so apologies if I'm becoming less coherent...

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Thoughts? I mean, I've done it, a tiny bit. I did a bit of researching as well as using online dictionaries etc, and I was lucky to find a native speaker to read things over and give their input before posting.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Good Omens. It honestly happened by accident.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Oooooh. Possibly Wintersong? I'm quite happy with it. What can I say, I love angst. That one isn't my most favourite kind, but I'm proud of it and love it.

Thank you for the tag @aniron48 💗 Tagging @major-trouble @cicerfics @brothebro @girls-and-honey @holycatsandrabbits and anyone who sees this and wants to tag on 😘

[antitheticaally]

Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!

tagged by the wonderful wonderful @asteria-argo

Wow hi everybody I know I vanished off the face of tumblr for a good 6 months, and I'm hesitant to say I'm "back" but... hi!

1. How many fandoms have you written in?

Well, I've written in a lot of fandoms over the years (almost everything I've ever hyperfixated on I've written fic for), but I've only ever published in one. As you all know, it is my one and only Ted Lasso fic. I've written a lot for Buffy the Vampire Slayer - that's probably the other big one, and then I definitely wrote some Percy Jackson fics in my youth, as well as *sigh* so much Harry Potter at the age of like, 10. But those are all (thankfully) buried in the recesses of my google drive and will never see the light of day.

2. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I think I probably wrote my first "fic" around the age of 6 or 7, and I'm 21 now, so... 15-16 years? Wow.

3. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I definitely read wayyyy more than I write. When I'm really into something I can go through like, 3 fics a day, but it's a lot harder for me to write consistently.

4. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

My grammar and just like, use of language and developing my own style has improved immensely just from writing for soooo long. I think I've definitely found my own voice whereas, when I was younger, I used to kind of take on the tones of other writers I liked. I've also gotten a lot more confident in sharing my writing, especially since I joined tumblr and published something in the last year. That doesn't exactly have to do with the quality of the writing itself, but like, the relationship I have with what I write.

5. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Oh boy, well, I did a lot of football research when I was writing for Ted Lasso, because I am not a sports girly. But back in middle/high school when I was super into Buffy I ended up doing a weird amount of research on 17th century England for some AU thingy I was working on. I think I still have the notes on that haha

6. What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

I love all comments, because I crave validation way too much. But long ones especially. Like, when people go through and pick out all their favorite bits and lines and take the time to tell me how much they like them... it's very Special To Me. <3

7. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Hmm.... I feel like I'm lowkey kind of basic in terms of what tropes I write... But I guess I write a lot of stuff that focuses mainly on like, friendship and platonic love and intimacy and usually not a lot of romance, which, like, I've found a niche of people who love that shit for sure, but I guess maybe it's not asssss common? Idk

8. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Oh god I can't write happy. I literally have never successfully written a story where nothing goes wrong. How?

9. What is the easiest type?

Angst. But like, angst with with comfort. Is it projection? Is it being a psychology student? We'll never know.

10. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I'm a google docs girly through and through. I do have a notebook that I jot down drafts in a lot of the time, but if I'm typing its on google docs. As for where and when... basically anywhere private. So, anywhere within my room. I can't write if there's even a smidgen of a chance that someone could walk by and peek at my computer screen. If I'm super into writing something I'll work on it all day, but unfortunately for my sleep schedule, most of my ideas come to me at 12 am when I'm trying to go to sleep.

11. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Honestly, at this point, I'll write almost anything as long as I think I can do it in a tasteful and respectful way. But there was a while where I was terrified of writing anything sexual or "smutty", I've kind of gotten past that as I've embraced my sexuality a lot more, and I have written sexual content. None of it is published, because a lot of it is from original short stories or older fics, and because I usually write platonic relationships, but I've done it!

12. What made you choose your username?

Aahaha... this is actually the second iteration of my tumblr username. A lot of you previously knew me as @antitheticallyargumentative, which came from a Taylor Swift song. I am a huge Swiftie, which I haven't realllly talked about on here, but I love her music and lyricism a lot. So the username came from a line in a song that was "argumentative, antithetical dream girl", and I just thought it was kind of fun so I messed around with it a bit and eventually came up with "antitheticallyargumentative." Then I revamped my account and shortened it a bit. So yeah.

I do not know whose already been tagged or whose already done it so.... whoever sees this... go ham.

Love ya!

[decks-writing-blog]

The Borealis: Chapter One: How Do You Know That?

Summary: Gordon and Alyx go to the arctic to find the Borealis.

[A/N] First a disclaimer: I haven't beat Half-Life Alyx yet. I started it the same day I started writing this fic but then I got Covid and injured my side coughing. Thus there was a solid 3 week span in which I couldn't play it because I was too physically unwell to do so, thus I finished this fic without having finished the game. I know how it ends though (I accidentally got spoiled before I even started playing) but because I don't know the context surrounding that, I chose to go about achieving the same thing in a different way. Especially since said different way allows for a good opening to this fic and lets me treat the other 2 Gordon focused HL fics I've written to be canon to this fic (you don't have to read those to understand this one though). So basically, if this fic contradicts something in Alyx, that's why. I'm able to play again though (thankfully, I've been itching to continue because I love the game) so I might be able to catch some of that in editing but we'll see because I play VR games quite slowly.

Second: Half-Life 3 confirmed! Yeah, yeah, old joke, but it's relevant to me now so I'm making it again. Basically I was super frustrated that we're never going to get a canon conclusion to the Half-Life story (the Epistle 3 doesn't count, it directly contradicts what is now canon thanks to Alyx and would've changed drastically during the development of the game, so it doesn't satisfy me at all) so I thought it might be fun try to write a conclusion to the story myself. I didn't write it as a 'video game story' because it's not a video game, thus it's not really me trying to write Half-Life 3. Just me taking where Ep 2 left off and continuing the story, focusing more on the characters and their relationship because character focused writing is my strength and what I enjoy writing the most. That being said, this fic did actually push my writing skills a bit, I feel like I've improved because of it.

Also Content Warning for the fic as a whole but it also opens with Temporary Major Character Death. (Which is why the Keep Reading cut is right under this author's note.) Time resets and Gordon comes back when he dies, he Kills Himself a few times to accomplish this. Also, another far less severe warning but potentially still important: OCs pop up throughout the fic as the plot demands so if you're hard against OCs in fanworks, maybe this fic ain't for you.

~

Alyx sobbed over Eli’s body, pressing on his chest rhythmically… or attempting to be rhythmic, she was too frantic, sobbing too hard. Not that that mattered; the blood pooling on the ground, leaking from the hole in the back of Eli’s head made it clear just how futile that effort at resuscitation was regardless of how good it was. One couldn’t be expected to think rationally after watching a loved one die.

Shaking off the last of the dizziness, Gordon sat up. He fumbled along the ground until he found where his pistol, usually magnetized to the HEV suit’s leg, had fallen to. Lifting it, he pressed it to his forehead. Killing himself was in ways worse than someone or something else killing him but that didn’t make it any less necessary. If he had this power, he was obligated to use it for good.

Closing his eyes, he focused. Right after the rocket launch, before they stepped outside would be a good spot to return to. He pulled the trigger.

As always, he blessedly didn’t hear the gunshot or feel the bullet enter his brain; it was too fast for human senses to register, making it in other ways the best way to reset time. Instead, one second Alyx was sobbing desperately, the next everyone was congratulating themselves and each other on the successful launch of the rocket. Again to Gordon but to them it would be the first time; he was the only one who ever remembered.

Opening his eyes, he stood in front of the rocket’s command console. Through the window the trail of the rocket was still visible, the portal already dissipating. A victory for sure, one he wasn’t going to let be ruined by Eli’s or anyone else’s death.

He knocked on the desk with the metal part of the HEV suit’s glove, getting everyone’s eyes on him. Not something he did often, it was easier to let people talk even if he’d heard it before – it often gave him time to rest, even if it was only for a little while and not a proper sit down or nap – but given where the Advisors had come from it might be possible to get the jump on them instead of the other way around.

“Two Advisors are coming,” he signed. “Or are already here, waiting on the hanger roof.”

The smiles on everyone’s face dimmed. “How would you know that?” Eli, blessedly alive and well again, asked. “Not that I doubt you but… I suppose I perhaps shouldn’t ask.”

Gordon had considered telling them about his dying and resetting thing several times now but… there was no need to burden anyone else with his suffering or the news that he’d watched them die. And so it was indeed best not to ask how he knew because he wasn’t going to answer.

“I don’t see how they could possibly be here and us not know about it,” Mangusson said. “But fine, I’ll send someone to go look.”

“Send Dog.” If he could get the jump on one or both of the Advisors again, their chances were better. “I’ll go too. You,” Gordon indicated Eli, “stay with here with him.” He pointed to Kleiner.

Before Eli could try to protest or agree to the order, Alyx cut in. “You should listen to him, Dad. He knows things sometimes. It saved our lives on the way here more than once.”

“I’m inclined to agree,” Dr. Kleiner said, stepping up next to Eli. “Gordon did just kill a whole armada of striders after all. So if he says there’s danger and you should hang back, it’s probably wise to listen.”

Whether Eli even wanted to try to voice a protest or not, Gordon was already headed through the door. Alyx wasn’t far behind. As she paused to whistle for Dog, Gordon continued forward to the hanger. Upon stepping into it, it looked just as innocuous as it had before. No mental pulse, bringing a headache and distorted vision. Perhaps the Advisors were getting better at reigning that in. Unfortunate in that it meant it wouldn’t be as easy as Gordon had been thinking to know when one was nearby.

Continuing forward, he kept his eyes glued on the window the Advisors had seemingly come through. Not bothering with the elevator, he vaulted over the railing, landing with a clank on the hanger floor. He approached the helicopter.

Nothing… nothing… A loud clatter came from the roof. A moment later one of the windows shattered as Dog, clutching one of the Advisors came spiraling through it. Dog’s spare claw ripped at what looked like its face, pulling bits off, thick oil like blood oozing out.

“Holy shit.” Alyx’s voice came the right, seemingly by the entrance. “Gordon, you were right. Get him Dog! Fuck him up!”

Gordon pulled out and unpacked the rocket launcher. The second one had to be… Ah, there it was, floating through the broken window, perhaps giving chase. He loaded a rocket, aimed, and fired. With how close it was, there was no way it didn’t hit. … Except, moments before contact, the rocket veered, curving off to just barely miss instead. Damn it. Fighting these things wasn’t going to be easy, huh?

The Advisor’s trajectory changed, coming quickly towards him instead. Pain pulsed in his head, his vision blurring. The rocket launcher landed at his feet with a clatter as a now familiar force pushed on his body. It locked his limbs to his sides as it forced him up against the wall once more. Struggling was futile but he did it anyway, thrashing as much as the telekinetic force holding him would let him. Which wasn’t much.

Somewhere Alyx shouted something and a gun went off. The Advisor made a pained sound as just for a moment, the force holding Gordon vanished. It came again before he could even finish falling, pressing into his chest and making it hard to breath.

He slid along the wall, his HEV suit scraping loudly against it as the Advisor moved toward the entrance and thus presumably Alyx. A moment later she was crying out again as she was pushed up next to him. And then they were moving again, the Advisor holding them against the wall as it moved towards where Dog was seemingly finishing off its companion.

Said counterpart Gordon couldn’t see particularly well from this angle but it was on the floor, partially deflated, its blood pooling around it as it twitched and shuddered. Atop it, Dog, seemed to deem he’d done enough before turning and… too late, the second Advisor was in range. Dog’s attempted leap towards it ended abruptly, leaving him hovering in the air, held so tight, he couldn’t move.

His form shuddered and shook for a second before with a ear piercing screech of tearing metal, his body tore apart and crumpled. The light in his eye dimmed and went out before he was dropped to land in a crumpled heap of metal and still sparking wires. No sign of movement.

“Dog!” Alyx screamed, struggling just as uselessly as when she’d tried to save Eli.

With a sigh, Gordon gave up, going limp as the Advisor’s supernatural grip would let him. He’d messed up again. For how much everyone revered him, he did that a lot. If anyone knew even the half of it, they likely wouldn’t look up to him so much. Hopefully his death this time would be fast.

The Advisor turned its attention back onto the two of them. It pulled Gordon towards itself. Good; watching Alyx die was always hard.

“Don’t you dare! Leave him alone!”

If the Advisor was even capable of understanding human speech, it showed no sign of it as its tentacle slipped out of it head towards Gordon. He would’ve told Alyx to look away but well… he couldn’t. Perhaps closing his eyes would be wise but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do that either.

It turned him, eliminating the temptation to look anyway by making it impossible to as it nosed at the back of his neck. Wet and slimy, he shuddered a moment before something sharp and needle like extended out of it, forcing its way through skin and bone. His whole body jerked with it, spasming in the Advisor’s telekinetic grip. Only for a moment as as all sensation vanished, leaving him utterly numb. A pressure built in his head, almost like it was about to…

Blinking open his eyes, he was back in the rocket control room. He flexed his hands, working the shakes out of them as he took deep breaths to steady himself as best he could. Curling up in a ball and crying about it never helped anyone. If anything, with how respected he now was, it’d make it worse. Also, he just plain didn’t have time to freak out about dying for the umpteenth time even if it was a new an awful way to do so. He had to stop thinking about it.

He’d failed again but he had learned something. The Advisors could be defeated and their telekinesis had a range, a seemingly fairly short one. So he just had to get the jump on both of them and stay out of their range otherwise. Easier said than done but it was far from the first time he’d had to do something seemingly impossible. With infinite tries anything was possible. … Hopefully he wouldn’t need infinite though. Dying sucked.

Once he had himself as in control as he could make himself, he knocked the back of the desk again, once more interrupting the chatter around him. “Two Advisors on the hanger roof,” he signed. “I need Dog to help take them out. You and you,” he indicated Eli and Kleiner, “stay here.” He turned and headed for the exit.

“Wait. How do you know that?” It was Magnusson who asked this time.

Gordon didn’t bother to respond.

“We should listen to him,” Alyx said as he paused at the door, holding it for her. “He knows things sometimes. It saved our lives on the way here more than once. So we’ll handle whatever it is, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m inclined to…” Kleiner began, the rest of his sentence being cut off as the door closed behind Alyx.

She whistled for Dog as they came to a stop a short distance away. He came bounding over from wherever he’d been waiting for her. “They’re on the hanger roof, you said?”

“Yes. I want Dog to throw me at one of them while he jumps the other.”

“Uh… that sounds dangerous. Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Dog had proven twice now that the Advisors couldn’t use their telekinesis when too distracted. Gordon just had to do the same thing Dog did and they could kill both… theoretically.

Alyx frowned. “How do you know that? I mean… you were right about other times the Combine jumped us, yeah, but this is awfully specific. Not that I don’t trust you but… you know.”

If Gordon were to ever tell anyone, it’d be her. Her knowing would be helpful in some instances but… as long as she continued to trust him and would do as he asked without an explanation, he wouldn’t burden her. Dying over and over to prevent the true death of others was his trial to endure, not talking about it made it easier to bear. So… “Trust me.”

“Okay.” She sighed and turned to Dog. “Dog, there are two Advisors on the hanger roof. Gordon wants you to throw him at one of them while you jump the other one. Can you do that?”

Dog shuffled as he nodded, seemingly eager for action. Hopefully when all this was done Gordon would get a chance to finally chat with Eli about Dog’s construction and how sentient he was. Such peace seemed impossible to reach but… hopefully one day it wouldn’t.

Reaching back Gordon unhooked the crossbow from his back and unfolded it before handing it to Alyx. “Stay back. Shoot from a distance.” He handed her a bundle of bolts next.

“Got it. Good luck.”

“You too.” He turned and climbed onto Dog’s back. He locked the fingers of one hand in place just in time to not fall off as Dog took bounding off towards the hanger.

~

Another death and then another and another. It was not the most painful of deaths to have his brain sucked out but the violation brought its own horror, making it among the more unpleasant ways to die.

The next attempt ended with both Advisors dead but Dog was busted and broken beyond repair too. A robot, yes but… how sentient was this robot? Enough to be worth saving? Seemingly so. But more importantly, Alyx was fond of him, reason enough to save him but also, said fondness had rubbed of onto Gordon and thus he lifted his pistol and shot himself to try again.

It was three more attempts before finally, finally the Advisors were both dead without bringing anyone else with them. As with many battles, victory had largely come down to luck.

Panting for breath, Gordon shot the deflating body of the Advisor beneath his feet a few more times, emptying the rest of his loaded shotgun shells into it. Its blood was thick and in the context of being in a hanger looked not unlike motor oil if not for its source.

Reloading the shotgun, he strolled over to the other side of the helicopter. Dog was atop the other Advisor’s body. It was pounded flat already, clearly dead, but just because he was mad, Gordon emptied a few shells into what looked like where its face had once been anyway. These things sucked, pun intended.

“Holy shit, Gordon, that was awesome.” Alyx said as she ran up, still holding the crossbow.

Gordon took a hand off the shotgun to give her a quick, “Thanks.” Not for the compliment though, it hadn’t felt awesome in the least, but because this attempt wasn’t a flop solely due to her getting into position just in time to to hit the Advisor and break its telekinesis before Gordon could be forced to drop his gun again. Having a companion was endlessly a thing to be grateful for. He would move the world for her if she wanted him to.

Her having no idea the depths of what she did for him though, he didn’t express that sentiment as he instead started back for the hanger exit. He had to double check and make sure everyone was alive and thus he was free to continue.

~

Cleaning up the Advisors’ bodies took some time as did sending teams to patrol the whole of the White Forest base, making sure no more unwanted surprises had made their way in somehow. But once done with that, there was a rush to start getting the helicopter ready for Gordon and Alyx to leave as soon as possible before something else went wrong that might jeopardize their mission.

No time to waste with proper rest, there never was. It was always one thing after another, endlessly. They had a whole alien army to fight, a world to save. And it had to be Gordon because in everyone else’s eyes he could consistently do and survive the impossible without much issue. But even if everyone knew the truth, he was still the best one for the job based solely off the fact that with infinite retries he could ensure the outcome he wanted even if he had to suffer for it.

But if Eli, Kleiner or anyone else Gordon cared for died while he was away, he couldn’t undo it, not as easily anyway. Something that had always been the case but after watching Eli die, it now seemed more of a prevalent threat than ever before. Making the prospect of leaving difficult. But alas, this power of his gave him the best shot at reaching the Borealis and then hopefully using it to get the Combine off Earth. Or to follow Eli’s warnings and destroy it before someone else, such as the Combine, could use it. He would decide when he got there. Regardless, he had no real choice but to roll with it and let Eli bundle him and Alyx with enough supplies and equipment to hopefully get them to the Borealis.

“No Dog, I’m sorry, you can’t come,” Alyx said as they stood by, waiting for the helicopter to finish being loaded for their journey. “You have to stay here and help Dad and the rest of the resistance, okay? They need your help and uh, you’re too heavy. We gotta travel light as we can to stretch our fuel as far as it’ll go.”

Dog shuffled and did the robot equivalent of a whine, the panels on his head pulling back as if wilting. Alyx patted his head. He leaned into it, indicating once more that he was capable of feeling in some capacity, even if it was perhaps only emotional. … Gordon would’ve loved the chance to have worked on him with Eli.

“I’ll take good care of him,” Eli said. “And I’m sure he’ll take good care of us.”

“And you two take care of each other,” Kleiner added. Having had time to finish monitoring the rocket he’d come out to the hanger to see them off. “We’ll be in radio contact with you as much as we can but it’s a long way so I’m not sure how much that’ll be. So mostly you’ll have to watch out for each other.”

“Well we made it this far together, so I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Her optimism was admirable. Even if from her perspective everything had gone well, there was still so much that could go wrong.

“And remember, once you reach the Borealis don’t jump right into activating it. I still think its our best shot at winning this war but that doesn’t mean don’t be cautious about it. Try to figure out what it does first if you can.”

“And if you can’t figure out what it does, consider not messing with it at all.” Eli gave Kleiner a pointed look. The two of them were going to argue about this more once Gordon and Alyx left, huh? Hopefully it wouldn’t cause too many problems between them.

“We’ll figure it out once we get there. But I guess uh… this is goodbye for now. Gosh, I can’t believe I’m the one being sent on this. Not that I don’t wanna go but…” Alyx threw her arms around Eli. “I’ll miss you guys.”

“I’ll miss you too, sweetie.”

Pulling back, Alyx hugged Kleiner next. “Uh… yes,” he said, adjusting his glasses as he pulled back. “Be sure to come back safe as quick as you can. Bring Gordon back too if at all possible.”

“Of course I’ll bring him back. What do you mean if possible?”

“Well I mean, after the Black Mesa incident, when he killed the Nihilanth…” Kleiner trialed off as he glanced at Gordon. “You know.”

Grimacing, Alyx turned to look back at Gordon too. “Oh yeah, huh? Um… I know you guys said I don’t need to know but I think I’ve earned the right to be told why and how he was frozen in time for twenty years, especially since I’m going with him on this and thus might have to try to stop it from happening again.”

Damn! That was possible, wasn’t it? To hide his flinch, Gordon took a step back. Once done here, the man in the suit might put him back into the void until he was needed for another job. One he couldn’t refuse because the alternative was death which he came back from. The vortiguants had seemed to pull him out of the man’s hold but… how sure was that really?

He had to take a series of deep breaths to stave off the sudden need to reach for something to steady himself; there was nothing around to grab. That was something best not thought about. He could only hope for mercy at the end of this. Surely he’d earned it, right? The suited man might not care though because why would he? Gordon was just a tool to help accomplish whatever his mysterious goals were. If so there was nothing he could about that so he had to stop thinking about it. He had to finish this first, worrying about what would happen after would only make that task harder. No more thinking about that or anything else. Only what was right in front of him mattered.

“A man in a suit, huh?” Alyx was saying as Gordon focused himself back in the present. Damn it, they were still talking about him. “Does he have a… briefcase?”

“You’ve seen him.” Eli grimaced, more angry with this confirmation than shocked as he was when he’d first learned of it.

“Maybe, I don’t know. It feels like I might’ve had a dream about him or something. What does he want?”

“We don’t know,” Kleiner replied. “We have a few theories but we don’t have time to go over them right now. You two have to get going before something else comes up. There’s no time to waste.”

Another round of hugs between them, this time Alyx hugged Dog too. “We’ll talk more about this once this is all over though, got it?” She then turned and started for the helicopter.

Before Gordon could finish turning to follow, Eli stepped towards him. “Take good care of her, please. Keep her safe.”

“I will, I promise.” Gordon wouldn’t dream of doing anything different.

“Thank you.” Eli took another step towards him, opening his arms for a hug.

Gordon couldn’t properly feel it through the HEV suit but… it took all his willpower not to cling to it in desperation. The comforts of physical touch had become foreign to him. And so even as brief as the hug was, it still almost brought tears to his eyes by the time it ended.

“Take care of yourself too.”

Gordon couldn’t promise that, not with how often he had to turn his gun on himself to reset time to save someone. So instead, before he did tear up anyway, he turned away and headed for the helicopter.

From there, it wasn’t long before they were getting ready to take off. Since neither of them knew how to fly a helicopter and thus couldn’t be trusted flying all the way to the arctic, a pilot by the name of Mori joined them. Gordon was offered the passenger seat but declined, choosing the back instead. There was more room to lay down, something he really needed. Surprisingly Alyx joined him, sitting in the row of seats across from. “In case you need to say something to Mori,” she said in way of explanation without even needing to be asked.

“Thanks,” he signed. Her talking for him was probably wise.

“All right,” Mori said from their spot in the cockpit’s driver seat. “Headsets and seat belts on and then we’re off to the arctic fast as we can go.”

Gordon put the headset on – being able to hear them even when the helicopter was running was important after all – but didn’t buckle in. Instead he lay down, using one of their packs of supplies as a pillow. It wasn’t comfortable but that didn’t matter, he hadn’t had more than three or so hours of sleep at a time since the night before the resonance cascade, technically more than twenty years ago. So he was going to sleep as much as he possibly could on this flight.

~

Next Chapter

[mareenavee]

Summer Reading/Writing/Arting tag

Tagged by @paraparadigm! The original rules are here.

Tagging OF COURSE @paraparadigm to do one of these, too! And @friend-of-giants, @elfinismsarts, @thattalviel, @saltymaplesyrup, @goddess-of-sorrow, @thequeenofthewinter, @the-storytellers-seer and @orfeoarte as well! Others, feel free to tag yourselves honorarily (:

1) Describe one creative WIP project you’re planning to work on over the summer.

I am still very much working on The World on Our Shoulders :D I have a lot of work still to go on this project and it may take all summer? We'll see. But I'm enjoying the process immensely! I might do a bit of a rescheduled-to-a-more-convenient-time-of-year NaNoWriMo type situation in August. Might be original fiction or perhaps more fic! We'll see (:

2) Rec a book!

I am currently reading The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by SA Chakraborty and I love it so, so much so far! I'll be starting the Elder Scrolls novels next, I think, just for funsies.

3) Rec a fic!

OOOh it has to be a fic outside of my character tag, I see. LOL okay. Well my favorite Elder Scrolls fic that doesn't fall within those parameters is Foe Tongue: A Historical Fiction by BetterBeMeta. Para actually rec'd that one to me a while back and I absolutely love it. It is perhaps the best fic I've ever read in general, and I hope we all grow up to be the kind of writer Meta is in this example. (:

4) Rec music!

I have a whole playlist that I'm reworking for my fic. That's most of the type of music I listen to. But I think my favorite song off the list is Luminous by Alice and the Glass Lake. It suits a specific scene pretty well. Also outside of fic writing playlists, my favorite artist is Florence and the Machine! Of hers, Sky Full of Song is my first choice (:

 5) Share one piece of advice!

This perhaps is advice I give to myself most of all. But it's: don't give up on your craft. You never know where it's going to lead you. Stick with your stories, stick with your art, even when things seem difficult or if your work isn't up to your usual standards. Sometimes recognizing that means you've learned how to improve and are flipping the page to the next chapter of your journey. You'll catch up with your perceptions in no time at all if you keep at it. It's always a difficult endeavor, being creative. But don't give up. You are worth it. Your stories are worth it. <3

[celestemagnoliathewriter]

2022 wrapped

Tagged by the lovely @ginnyw-potter:

Post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular):

The Time Traveling Nymph, Alternate Ending - the last part of my time traveling Tonks series. I was so proud of how this whole series came together. It's my most popular work and the one I enjoyed writing the most.

Cariad - my postwar AU of Tonks and Remus surviving the Battle of Hogwarts. The question gets posed often - would they have stayed together had they survived? The short answer, yes, but this fic is the long answer (not without significant pain and growth in their relationship).

Call Me Edward - the least popular of my longfics, but one I'm so proud of. Teddy travels back in time. I put that small bean through so much. This is the kind of time travel fic I love (along with the others) - it's not perfect, it's messy, and it's painful.

Unforgettable - a fluffy one-shot I was especially proud of. I thought I did a nice job with the prose. I normally don't write prettily but I thought this one was nice.

Twelve Birthdays - I wrote this for a fest, a look into the life of Tom Riddle. It was a collection of 100-word drabbles. Writing that tightly is a challenge, especially when trying to make a whole narrative. I was very pleased with how it landed and it's inspired me to keep doing this exercise with other fics.

your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year:

Andromeda's Sacrifices - it's the title for the Andromeda series I'm going to write/am currently writing. I'm thinking it's going to be two parts. We'll see. Either way, I'm super pumped to post it.

A Changing Pack/title tbd of my Remus raising Harry series - I'm going to finish this. I am. I AM.

My "Death of" Series: it's an exploration of the wizarding afterlife. My next character is Fred Weasley, but I've got a few more in the works: Remus, Sirius, Harry, Nymphadora, Andromeda, and Molly.

Platonic Draco & Ginny time travel fic: I've had this germ of an idea on my mind of Draco and Ginny time traveling together and becoming reluctant friends. Still working out the details & ending.

your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year:

From my first fic, Collide, to its second part, Cariad, you can see a HUGE shift in my writing and its progress. Better dialogue, prettier prose, more cohesive narrative, stronger characterization - I'd say all of these are improvements. (More than 3 improvements, but I'm proud of how much my writing has improved in the last year.)

your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year:

I want to finish my current WIPs before I post the Andromeda fic. Probably a pipe dream, but it's a resolution.

I want to get better at figurative, pretty language. I'm not a metaphorical person. My prose is good but straightforward, not super poetic either. I do understand that poetic prose is harder with longfics (and I admire anyone who can write a longfic in a pretty way), but that's why I started writing one-shots, to hone my writing skills and apply what I've learned to the longfics.

and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year:

Okay, so I'm unbearably proud of one of the last one-shots I wrote in 2022, The Death of Teddy Lupin.

I can't pin it down to just one line, but there's this bit at the end that made my heart so happy to write:

“Where’s home?” Teddy asked, almost afraid of the answer.

“Where love ends,” Gran replied simply, putting her hand on his heart. “As long as there’s love to give, we’re not home yet.”

Teddy gaped at them, confused. “Won’t that take forever?”

Nymphadora and Remus smiled brighter than anyone else.

“The more time you spend here,” said Nymphadora, taking Teddy’s hand, “the more you’ll understand. Forever is all the time we need.”

I'll tag @mumka-fanfic and @messrmoonyy

[chocoluckchipz]

I love your fics! Do you have any advice for beginner writers?

Thank you and yes, while I'm in no way an expert, but I can offer you an advice I was lucky enough to learn from others and that helped me to get where I am today.

Practice. A lot of writers can talk hours about their writing and their ideas but never actually write a single word. So, practice no matter what. One sentence a day if that's what it takes and yes, even if you suck on a grand scale. You can never improve if you don't write that first horrible draft. Speaking of which, write it as bad as you can on purpose, make that shit as crappy as you can. Once it's out of your system and you know you cannot do any worse, you'll notice a shift in your mindset. Go back to that crappy first draft and edit it into something decent. Or start a new one - it's your choice. As long as you actually write.

Read a lot. I know, I know, this is what everyone is saying but there is a reason they all keep parroting this one out. You learn when you read. You learn the way you want to write as you read something you like, and you learn what you'd rather avoid when you are reading something you don't like. There is no losing no matter how good or bad the book/fic/whatever is when you read it. You'll learn and improve nevertheless. Which leads me to point number 3-

Steal. Shamelessly and unapologetically. But, please, don't misunderstand! I'm not talking about copy pasting sentences or expressions from other works into your own fic. That's is plagiarism and is punishable by the law in most places. Rather, as you read, pay attention to how the sentences you like are structured, how the author uses the language and stylistic devices, how they build their story and developing their characters. Steal the tactics that made you love that story and implement them into your own. After some time, you'll develop your own style, composed of bits and pieces of everyone you've read so far which won't happen if you don't read.

Get a thick skin or two. I cannot even describe how emotionally attached we are to our own writing. If someone critiques it, we feel hurt, betrayed and disappointed. We cry, we get depressed, it feels like the end of the world and if we won't take a step back, sooner or later we'll quit writing all together. Learn to distance yourself from your work. I know it's cute and awesome and amazing but writers need to understand that their work isn't them. People aren't attacking you personally when they critique your work. Some readers might not like the way your story went and decide to be rude and tell you about it, which, honestly, is on them and has nothing to do with you or your work so ignore the jerks. You can't and shouldn't even try to please everyone. We're all unique and have different tastes so if someone doesn't like your story, it's not your story that is bad, it's that particular reader who has a different taste in reading than you and no tact to walk by and not be rude. Don't waste your time on them. Instead, pay attention to those who might genuinely try to help you when they see an aspect in your writing that could be improved (and boy do we all have a few of those). If that's the case, they would be polite and open to a constructive dialogue.

If possible, get a beta to read your work before you publish. If they offer criticism, remember that it isn't personal and aimed towards helping you improve, not declaring you an awful human being and a failure of a writer. Ask questions, think of how to fix the problem in your own way, or leave it as is if you like it your way after all. Side note: working with a beta can be very emotional. God knows, how much I've cried and got depressed over comments my betas were leaving me. I was seriously determined to quit a few times but my betas were wonderful and walked me through the process while being super supportive and strict at the same time. Was it all worth it at the end? Absolutely. These wonderful people were kind enough to pass their expertise onto me and had taught me everything I know about writing. Yeah, their comments hurt at the time because I couldn't distance myself from my work but ultimately, it made me into the writer/person I am today and I wouldn't have it any other way. If you're reading, guys, thank you so much! Sorry for the crap I've put you through!

And most importantly - HAVE FUN! If you aren't, why are you putting yourself through this?

[welcometololaland]

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 aka. 2022 Recap

I was tagged by @cha-melodius - thank you for thinking of me :)

Rules Guidelines: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favourite line you’ve written this year!

Top 5 works I’m proudest of (in reverse chronological order)

1. One of the Seven Ways (Back to You) fics - (Carlos/TK) I wrote it in Carlos POV (tricky for me), I attempted to bridge a canon gap (also tricky) and I was super not functioning well as a human when I wrote most of them (plainly stupid).

2. (Not) A Cinderella Story (Alex/Henry) - Because I'd had a lot of time off writing RWRB and I re-discovered a love. Plus, I wrote Henry POV. I love Henry but I hate writing him.

3. Love Game (Carlos/TK) - I did something just because I wanted to.

4. Phonography (Carlos/TK) - I've been informed that this is the first Tarlos sex tape fic? Could be wrong. In any case, I liked doing something a bit different.

5. Down For the Count (Alex/Henry) - I mean...it's about poker and blackjack card counting. I had to learn basic theory, high/low and Texas Hold 'Em to write this fic and I can't even tell you why I decided to do it. Plus, I had to do math (running counts/true counts), and I'm famously bad at math.

Top 4 current wips I’m excited about

*checks status of WIP list* *groans*

1. I have two collaborations that carried over from 2022, one of which is (un)professional services with @rmd-writes. I find the collab fics so easy to write, just chilling in a doc, coming up with weird ideas, egging each other on.

2. Plot-driven, chunky, second-chance meets murder mystery AU written almost exclusively in Carlos POV as a consequence of a spiral with @pragmatic-optimist.

3. Firstprince European adventure AU which I've shamefully partially abandoned for so long. It could be my favourite thing I've ever written. If I ever finish it.

4. The crossover which keeps being pushed down my list. Criminal behaviour.

Top 3 improvements in my writing

I found it hard to be serious about this so here are my shit-takes:

1. Socks off in shower.

2. Spelling vibrator correctly.

3. Remembering lube.

Top 2 writing resolutions

1. Develop more nuance in characterisation (I'm looking at you Mr. Carlos Reyes) and not being scared to ask for help when I need it.

2. I wanna post at least 4 Firstprince fics next year, hopefully (hopefully) I can finish European adventure but I'm projecting a WC of like 170k so?? We'll see how we go.

Number 1 favorite line

I can't remember 5 minutes ago, I honestly have no idea. I can give you my word of 2022 though: quadriceps.

There is absolutely no pressure on anyone to do this - it actually took me a hot minute to get my head around it: @indomitable-love @three-drink-amy @beautifulhigh @reyescarlos @reyesstrand @tailoredshirt @sunshinestrand @iboatedhere @good-ways @marjansmarwani @carlos-in-glasses

[ashadeintheshade]

You don’t have to answer all of these I just wanted to send a bunch!

👻 Is there a new genre you'd like to write?

🐌 What is one of your smallest writing goals?

🌈 What research do you plan on doing for your writing?

🥳 How are you going to celebrate when you achieve one of your writing goals?

💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

🪩 Do you have any "good" writing habits you want to cultivate?

Oh, how fun!!! Yay, I love asks! Thanks for thinking of me!

👻 Is there a new genre you'd like to write?

I'm sort of thinking about attempting crack??? Maybe??? We'll see if I have the guts when Crack Week comes around. I've never done crack before!

🐌 What is one of your smallest writing goals?

I don't think I have small ones. Only elaborate daydreams 😂. I think I'd like to improve my ability to transition from scenes that are close into the characters and getting into their nitty gritty thoughts and scenes that cover larger spans of time and action.

🌈 What research do you plan on doing for your writing?

For my LND E/M fic, I'm going to have to do a LOT of 1910s research, which is part of the reason I've been avoiding writing that fic. Jokes on me😂

🥳 How are you going to celebrate when you achieve one of your writing goals?

One day when City of Angels is finished I'm going to print myself a copy with a pretty cover and hold my finished novel in my hands 😍

💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

For my LND E/M fic, I really want to play around with the final scene in POTO where Meg is left holding the mask. I want her to hold on to that mask for all ten years. And one day, I want her to give it back to him.

🪩 Do you have any "good" writing habits you want to cultivate?

HAHAHA. Anything I don't do now, probably! My biggest issue is letting the first draft be so that the story can exist and I can edit it after it's all written down. I just struggle with allowing the first draft to sort of suck so that the second draft can be better. I must learn to be Zen!

[gayhoediaz]

💌, 💘, ☯️

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

i just outlined a new buddie fic that's likely going to be roughly 20k, and it's exploring a new aspect of them getting together that i haven't personally seen be reflected upon a lot, so i'm excited to see what i am able to do with that!

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

i think on a casual level (as in 'hm i should have written this paragraph differently') that's usually naturally my most popular and/or longer ones (still, stupid people) i think that's common. as a writer you're never going to stop improving, and when a work gets a lot of attention, and you go back to it, you're always going to find things that you want to edit, or expand upon. on a bigger scale, the tumblr porn au is trash, and so is the long haired eddie fic - i like the concepts, and certain scenes, but overall, i would have written them completely differently today.

will i, though? hm. i've thought about editing and revising still and posting it as an expanded version (without taking the first one down!) but we'll see if i do that, right now i have better things to do as far as writing goes.

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

i think it's important on both sides, i think interaction not only inspires writers/artists to create more, but i think it's also important in order to create a balance. creators are not celebrities, we're not more valuable to the fandom than non-creators, and the second that it starts to feel like that, you're also creating this imbalance where both sides may feel unappreciated, and non-creators may feel entitled to the content, and start taking it for granted - start seeing it as content rather than just a fun thing someone did because they like the same thing you like, and i think that's very sad, and not a good thing for fandom culture, so working against that by interacting with each other is always a good thing. that being said, i will admit to being terrible at responding to comments, especially when they're rolling in at a high rate. i see each one, i love you, and if you come into my dms or messages i do guarantee a response i'm sorry and i will try to get better when it comes to the ao3 comment section.

i don't have social anxiety at all so i don't have anything to say to that.

[rupertgayesarchive]

So I'm just getting started writing Supernatural fic. I've written a lot for other fandoms, but right off the bat, I'm noticing that the reader vibe is VERY different than what I'm used to. I'm just not getting the feedback and interaction that I've received in other fandoms. I write for me, but it's hard to not feel discouraged with such a stark difference. I'm wondering if it's a decline in Supernatural in general, getting lost in AO3 postings, or not being in the right tumblr circles or Discords.

Since I'm a huge fan of your work, and you have a decent following, I'm wondering if you have any thoughts on the Supernatural fanfic ecosystem as a whole. How and where do you promo your work? How do you connect with other fans in the community? Is it possible to make those connections as a relative newcomer to the fandom or are the cliques pretty well closed off?

Hi there! Let me say off the bat that you can feel free to come off anon and be mutuals with me, I have the same username everywhere, and always love to meet new spn fans :)

Onto your actual question - I think while spn isn't as popular now as it was in the early 2010s (when I was first in the fandom, the superwholock thing, you know) and right when it ended in late 2020, it's still a HUGE fandom, and yeah, stuff is going to get lost in the shuffle. I'm not saying my own following is a fluke, but I think I got lucky! I hopped back into spn right during the post-finale peak in fandom activity, and a lot of readers in this fandom tend to appreciate long (sometimes insanely long) fics, and here I was, writing a finale fix-it that was getting updated 2-3 times a week, so you had a lot more people on the destiel AO3 tag, probably wanting something to fix their finale related blues, and they were seeing my story over and over again, and it got really long, and... yeah. When I was writing fic in spn during the early 2010s, I was not getting NEARLY as much attention. At all. I'd like to think I improved as a writer, but I think I also just got into the fandom at the right time.

One thing that actually did help me a lot though was getting active on tiktok. I posted a funny comment someone had posted on hfym, people asked what the fic was, and then I started picking up a lot of momentum on there while talking about the fic. I think there's also something to be said about readers being able to put a name and face to the fics they love. As I started making spn-related videos, I'd follow/comment/like other spn accounts, and as my follower account grew I noticed a lot of those accounts were following me back.

I also started listening to spn podcasts, and following their tiktoks, and found out that they just did open applications to be a guest on their podcasts. I don't know if that cross promotion necessarily helped people find my work, but it really surprised me how much more interactive people were on tiktok versus my previous fandom experiences on tumblr!

And yes, I do promote my fics on here, twitter, tiktok, but again, way more enthusiasm is coming out of tiktok right now, and I personally hopped over onto twitter to have more conversations with the friends I made through tiktok (though with Elon now owning twitter, it's possible we'll see a migration back to tumblr)

That being said... I have a lot of interactions on my fics, but I wouldn't label myself as a big name fan. I've never done well in big discord groups and prefer to have a handful of people I can have one on one conversations with.

As for the fics, I think there's room for everything to do well - aus, canon compliant, whatever. It could be adding in more tags, the summary, I'm sure you know all about that though as this isn't your first rodeo. I do think there's something for having a multi-chapter fic that has updates once a week or more, though. really cannot understate how much spn readers want to just read war and peace length gay nonsense.

This is also me but I never enter into fandom challenge stuff because I find it stressful and I think everyone is releasing their fics at the same time, and stuff does get lost in the shuffle then.

Anyway a list of actual? Advice:

make sure the titles/tags/summary are fun and engaging I'm sure you know that already

try tiktok, like honestly, find some #spn hashtags to use and make some random videos with your hot takes and follow other spn people. make some videos about your fics, too, but mainly just launch into spn fandom full on, have fun with it, repurpose trending audio with lame spn jokes. (again! follower count wise compared to other spn accounts it's nothing to write home about on any platform, but i now have a solid base of people who like my stuff so that's what matters)

try building up your little spn network, comment on their videos, follow them off of tiktok and on twitter/tumblr, leave comments on their fics, over time people start interacting with you in the same way. most people i've met on there are so sweet and if you mutually follow each other literally just message them and say hi we're all nerds and we love it.

try taking a look at what people want to read (if you want to write that way, i got lucky that what i wanted to write was what people wanted to read), or find fun niches that you like to write for. demon!dean, monsterfucking, fluffy bunker nonsense, found family, whatever!!

definitely ask (nicely) for people to comment on your fic in author's notes, i've definitely been swayed by a nice message thanking the reader/asking for comments before

i'm in a few discord groups, so again, if you like you can DM me and i'll send you the links! i'm better at one on one, but some people have great luck with larger groups.

Okay good luck bestie ily <3

[eyesontheskyline]

bestie you excel at one of the things i personally find the hardest and what makes a difference for me whenever i read any book: the dialogue!!!! If I dont feel like it is natural in a book I’m reading or that the character would never say it, it completely turns off something in my brain and I can’t focus the same. This is all just to say that your dialogue and the character voices are spot onnnnn! And may I say I dont think your plot has any issues, I am very fond the way you write the action and how everything unfolds. Again, this might be a very selfish opinion because I just click with you as a writer (and me a reader), but the events never feel rushed, I always feel like everyone gets to say what they want to say without it being forced and overall it just makes me want to read more and more. I understand that you obviously know yourself the best and you know your work the best, but as a humble reader who stumbled upon your work, I was immediately a fan, it was everything I’ve wanted to read and more. If I could magically be any good at writing and be gifted enough to write a criminal minds fic on hotchniss and somehow have my thoughts scanned into words, your fic would be the exact depiction of what I would imagine it to look like. You are doing an amazing job!

This is VERY LOVELY and I appreciate you so so much!

By the time I hit post on a new chapter, I'm usually happy with it. Like, I obsessively reread and edit and I've only posted a chapter that in retrospect I wish I'd spent more time on once - apart from typos (there are always a few when I first post), I'm usually happy* with what's out there, or it wouldn't be out. But yeah, I'm super aware of the stuff I have to work harder at. It's like that meme that goes around sometimes of the back of a piece of embroidery. Everyone else sees the final product, but when you made it, you know the messy process of getting there. And as a writer you know all your own shortcuts - I edit out a lot of characters doing the same little gesture so many times that if they actually did it in the show you'd be like 'wait did they just play that same half second of footage of her making that face for the eighth time'. Most of the time I catch it so it doesn't make it to the reader's impression of my writing, but it means every time I do it, I'm like you're doing it again!!!

Some things I'm happy to just be like 'well this is my level and it's enough to say what I'm trying to say', and there are some things I'm excited to work more on with my next thing. . . And some in betweens. Things I think will improve with practice, probably, but we'll see. I like writing. I like feeling like I can get my ideas across well enough and like I can get better at it. And I couldn't do it for so long for various reasons that finding this place in my brain again has been the biggest gift so I'm just very grateful to not only be writing words again but to have people actually reading them (because otherwise I would've 100% given up again ngl).

Anyway THANK YOU, and if you have any desire at all to write a thing, you should write a thing. Nobody can do it until they do it, you know??

(* the word happy was missing when I posted this, as if I was making a point about typos)

[ritsusakumawife]

!!IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!

Elyria here. First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for the past seven months. (I can't believe this blog is that old already. I still think it's been a month or so.)

While I've only written like two? Three? Fics, it's still been a great time. I got to release some of my delusions somewhere, haha.

There's still so much I want to write about and improve on, but unfortunately, my journey ends here. It may have been short, but it was still memorable.

This next part is kind of like a TMI or might even be triggering for some people.

The whole reason we started this blog was, honestly, just for me. I've been struggling a bit and wanted a way to release some stress, and since we all liked fictional characters and bonded over them and stuff, we eventually came up with the idea of the Ritsusakumawife blog.

Rin handled the blog creation (Hence why this blog ended up being a side blog and not like a main one lol. She messed up on that part but it’s alright)

After the masterlist and etc were done came the writing..I wasn't sure how to do it at first, so I let someone post something first, that being Valerie, since she had more experience in writing and I just felt like seeing her in action and watching her write, would give me pointers?? An idea on how to start writing? and then I kind of built up on that. If that makes sense??

But I still couldn't build up the courage to post smth so the burger fic came to life.

It was written by "N" or 🍔 to show me that I didn't have to write anything serious/good. It can be something silly, stupid, outrageous, etc.

And I really appreciate them doing all this for me. Everyone went out of their way to try and help me. And I'm very grateful for that.

(We even had little therapy sessions where I basically just vent lmao)

Unfortunately, some things are just out of my control, so I'm choosing to leave this little blog project. Things are just too overwhelming right now, and I can't release my stress, etc., into writing like I want to. (Dw too much though, I’m not depressed depressed just a bit overwhelmed with life rn)

I've already talked about this decision with the others and about what will happen to this blog since its "main purpose" will be somewhat useless now.

Will this blog be deactivated or deleted? The answer is no.

It'll still be up and running; the only difference is that I'm gone. Maybe I will come back and leave behind online footprints, or whatever you call them, but for now, I just want to take a break from online and try to get my life together. Because while I may be perfectly healthy physically, the stress and stuff are taking a toll on my mental health, so yeah, I'm taking an indefinite break online(ofc also meaning that I won’t be in contact with any of my online friends) and will work on obtaining a much healthier mental health.

Of course, my mental health isn’t just the reason I’m leaving.

The truth is, I’m moving back to my hometown (due to personal reasons), which is in another country than the one I’m currently residing in.

At most, the only one who'll know about my well-being will be "N" (because we're siblings lol) and my family.

Note from the other mods:

Since Elyria is leaving, this blog may or may not be abandoned until her return. (If she ever decides to return, that is. If not, we'll respect her decision and wish her the best of luck with whatever challenges face her.)

Also, like said above, Elyria will be moving to her hometown, and since she wishes to remove her presence in the online world, that means we (Valerie and Rin) won't be in contact with her for an indefinite time.

It's a bit hard knowing that your friend is going through a bad time and you won't be there to check in on them, but we want to respect her wishes.

For now, all we can do is hope and pray that she'll overcome these challenges and take on life with a smile. It will be a hard journey, but we have faith that she'll get through it, especially with the support of her family.

P.S you better take good care of her N or I swear we will fly over there and give you the scolding of a life time >:(

Extra info for those that might wonder:

Since Elyria and N are siblings and Elyria is leaving the blog, will N leave too? The answer is yes and no.

He won’t be leaving the blog completely, and he will still be one of the "mods,” but he won’t post fics since he also mostly just got dragged here to be a mod lol.

And lastly, the Ayato fic

Like said before, if I(Val) were to discontinue it, I was planning on handing the project over to Elyria but seeing as that’s not possible it’ll be either discontinued or be in an indefinite hiatus. If I do decide to continue it someday, it’ll just be posted on my main blog