#this blog is my personal diary

[mostlyiwant-tobekind]

The rebellion would have been so much shorter if Katniss had accidentally sang Pure as the driven snow. He would have had a heart attack right there and then.

[star-and-tulip]

Have the feeling that whatever I’m doing , I am doing it wrong .

I hate the way act recently, I’m irritated for small thing , and get angry easily. And it’s not me .

I’m usually not that aggressive,I’m passive , I am calm and know how to control myself.

Obviously , I’m not perfect and sometimes snaps but not this long !

What’s wrong with me ? Why am I not being me ?

[raven-runes]

Witchcraft and poetry are inseparable for me. What is a poem but a spell, every word woven with care and intention? A poem has the potential to craft new worlds, to open a portal into unseen realities, to rewild our hearts and souls. Poetry is spellcraft.

[achyyoungbones]

I bought a pricy-ish watercolor sketchbook a while ago and I've been too scared to use it. Im starting to feel more confident in my watercolor skills so I think in perhaps a year I may be fluent enough with it's medium to use it for more serious pieces :)

[bestboielectric]

shin’s a biter (canon)

[inkskinned]

im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:

videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.

and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.

this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.

there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.

there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.

for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.

i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.

here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."

eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.

we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.

"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"

thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.

it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.

an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.

and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."

[aropride]

this post was a game changer for me. thank you ryan reynolds

[stuckinapril]

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

[atissi]

i think the internet could be greatly improved if we just assume that OP is always talking to someone who is not you. if the post is not personally applicable or relevant, cool, this isn't a conversation you're in. this is a strangers' conversation that you're eavesdropping on.

[mostlyiwant-tobekind]

I don’t think I will get over The Sunshine court. Not only as a book with all it’s themes of survival and learning how to live, finding a safe space. But also like 10 years after the end of a trilogy a self-published author decided to come back to her work and make one of the most insane fanon ships canon, like after 10 years of fanfics we finally get the truth.

[themanirealityshifter]

let’s go shift to a reality where i can get a diagnosis for whatever flavor of neurodivergence i am-

[fairygorex]

Feral 4 him!!!

[bestboielectric]

drastic times call for drastic measures (don’t worry this fight will end with shin pinned against the wall, wide eyed with thoughts they know they shouldn’t have😚)

[lunercoaster]

Did I add the Hero Class Civil Warfare to my script? Yes.

Did I also add that there are two leaders for each group? Yes.

Am I the leader of the Villains along with Midoriya? Yes.

Are we gonna fucken win? Yes.

[hermionesmoon]

some things about my hogwarts dr:

* if you can’t already tell i’m shifting for the love of my life Hermione Jean Granger

* it’s like a high school university mixed (you start at 15, i’ll be in 4th year (1994) so i’ll be 18 as well as my friends)

* i’m NOT shifting for the plot well i mean some things that happened before 4th year in the movies still happened in my dr

* my best friends are: Hermione, harry, ron, blaise, and draco (he’s not a bully in my dr)

* my friends are: neville, luna, padma, dean, seamus, fred, george, and ginny

* i share a dorm with Hermione(kinda playing myself with that one but ya know why not)

* lupin and sirius are engaged #wolfstar🔛🔝 (literally thought they were together when i watched poa for the first time)

* there are halloween parties every year and a haunted house in hogsmeade (kinda terrified for the haunted house since there will be actual super-natural beings in there)

* peter pettigrew got caught in 3rd year and got locked up in azkaban so sirius is a free man and adopted harry so they now live together

* a masquerade ball for valentine’s day

i’m gonna stop there cause i can go on and on i love talking about my dr’s

[cowardlycowboys]

blocked anon get off your self-righteous high horse

also my therapist said I could say kill yourself a long time ago so