#this ep was more tragic than i expected which is good

[feuqueerfire]

DFF in the first few episodes was slasher-esque with blood and injury and deaths and a murderer and visions. Then, for many episodes in the middle, it became more of a drama where we went on journeys with the characters to learn more about them, their personalities, and their wrongdoings. This final episode made use of both aspects of the show. It brings back the slasher-esque aspect (well... most (all...?) of them died even if they weren't necessarily slashed) while their deaths mirrored what we learned about them, their crimes, and what they hold dear in the middle episodes.

[cranesofibycus]

i'm so behind with cr (back at 68) but i know enough spoilers for the upcoming eps that i know What Happens, but i gotta know - on a scale of 1 to c1 kraken fight, how bad is 91 stress-wise ...

The in-game situation in 91 is similarly dire if not much worse, but the atmosphere around the table is a lot better than during the Kraken fight, which helped reduce my own stress levels. Like, you can tell that they are all Worried AF (TM) and there's a lot of hopelessness around the table, but they are all so much more experienced, as well as confident in their ability to tell a good story together, even when that story veers towards the tragic. Like, there's a lot more trust between all of them as players and that helps.

But yeah, had I been watching this live, I'm pretty sure I would've expected this fight to end in their very first TPK.

[absolutebl]

Best Angsty BLs with Family Drama & Bad Home Lives, or Past Trauma

That still end happily. Requested by the incomparable @winterswhumpblr (Warning these all have tiggers in them mostly suicide, rape, and/or child abuse.)

Until We Meet Again

Thai 2019 YouTube

UWMA is, without question, a work of narrative genius with a powerful and cohesive romantic backbone driven by family drauma and betrayal and stellar performances. It is (to date) the only Thai BL that I’ve rated a 10/10 predominantly on the basis of story structure. That said it is also very well cast (and it’s a BIG cast), with solid production values, and enduring pair branding. Discussion here.

Spin off, Between Us, also satisfies this criteria.

Blueming

Korea 2022 iQIYI

Hwang Da Seul directing this angsty BL that's a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love. But if you want your mind ever-so-slightly messed with and your intimacy hellishly sweet, this BL will do it for you in a coldly distant manner, while bitch slapping you with self worth issues. I wasn’t into it at first, but the leads are solid and by ep 5 it got really good, becoming a narrative about self discovery meets understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them. Ultimately we witnessed two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection, without that affection becoming the conflict point. Instead, tension was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and childhood trauma.

Tokyo in April is AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa

Japan 2023 Viki

Two young men with a shared tragic past reunite and fall in love all over again, but the past will not stop hunting them. Based on a manga, this office set reunion romance is GREAT… damn it. It’s Japan in full on soft focus which means it gets emo, abusive, and chewy. These two characters are giving parts of their souls away in a desperate attempt to shape themselves to the expectations they have of each other.

The Eighth Sense

Korea 2023 Viki

This feels more atmospheric gay coming of age romance than strictly BL. It’s got a bit of an age gap, country boy/city boy, stellar acting, complex characters, and leads with great chemistry and tension. It’s a bit chewy and sticky and less perfect than most KBLs (do I detect a touch of Taiwan?) This one deployed BL tropes (messy eater, shoulder sleep, protective seme, there’s even some hyung-slinging) but front loaded them with painful backstory and tons angst drives the 2nd half. This isn’t in the KBL bubble, there’s sharp edges and lots of triggers. For a BL the darkness of the content left me feeling unsettled (which is the only reason it didn't get a perfect score) but it does have a glorious ending and that counts for a lot.

Bad Buddy

Thai 2022 YouTube

This was GMMTV’s flagship BL and it started 2022 on a BANG (okay no actual banging but you know what I mean), starring heavy hitters Ohm & Nanon in a pitch perfect university Romeo & Romeo masterpiece that will give you domesticity meets pain whiplash throughout and jet lag at the end. Some of the friendship and family dynamics are overworked, but it has great production values, killer acting, and some conscious effort to correct for half a decade of Thai BL’s anti-queer mistakes. The whole set up is build on family drama so, yeah.

Bed Friend

Thai 2023 YouTube

Office frienamies transition a flaming hot one night stand into a f-buddy relationship that is built on a puppy/cat dynamic (and kinks into it at one point). Our puppy is loyal, smitten, and protective with endlessly longing eyes, while our cat is snarky, prickly, and deeply damaged. NetJames give lovely high-heat with excellent chemistry and tuned-in performances of surprising depth, could have been spectacular but was the story is overworked, especially at the end. Still if high heat is your thing, this one will not let you down.

Lovely Writer

Thai 2021 YouTube

What Lovely Writer does, at heart, is reexamine Thai BL has done to queerness, but in a very gentle way that has more to do with Thai BL growing up than any actual queer authenticity. It’s not parody or pastiche, but it is self reflective and trying to correct for some chronic mistakes. Whether it is ultimately successful in this matter is going to depend on the watcher’s relationship to BL and queer identity. But that’s what makes this show beautiful, interesting, and thought provoking. And I, for one, applaud the effort even if I didn’t personally connect to the characters. There is both family trauma and dram and childhood stuff.

Happy Merry Ending

Korea 2023 Viki

Stars Lee Dong Won (KNK) as an ex-idol turned wedding singer with an abusive ex and a panic disorder + the sunshine pianist who falls in love with him. Timid tsundere & sweetheart gay is an interesting match. They’re gentle together, almost kindly, and there is a calm ache to their pairing. However, it lost its way as a BL, being more about the main character’s struggle than the romance. It had a strong finish but ultimately the premise & characters meant this was never going to be one of my favorites. But if you like angst, well...

Given

Japan 2021 grey

Boy joins band, falls in love with other boy. The singing is terrible, fast forward through that but with the possible exception of the hair styles, this BL could have been made in 2015 and no one would be surprised. As such, it wasn’t ground breaking, but it didn’t disappoint either. Very much a tortured past for our singer. (More here.)

The Eclipse

Thai 2022 YouTube

GMMTV does gay Blacklist with a good boy/bad boy pairing. This is a good show but the cast is excellent and the leads are absolutely flawless, which elevates it beyond just good. We got a nuanced and multifaceted burgeoning relationship: philosophical (and socio-political) conflict contrasted to moments of empathy; flirtation contrasted to moments of genuine affection, plus plenty of angst. This narrative is less about love than it is about courage and tenderness. However, near the end the pacing was off and the plot frustrating. Still, this is an enjoyable watch, with a finale that features verbal consent and a fun blooper reel.

Love Class 2

Korea 2023 Viki

3 couples form within a semester of university: 1. a hyung romance reunion of exes, one of whom has a dangerous past, 2. a friends to lovers romance, and 3. a one night stand between a mature student and a TA (many aspects of which had me laughing). I enjoyed the characters and dialogue of this show immensely. It was a little bit more breezy and friendly than I was expecting after the first installment, Love Class (to which this bears little resemblance and no connection). I’m not entirely sure Korea can handle multiple couples like this because it definitely felt disjointed, especially with the 3rd more mature couple (also my favorite) who probably should’ve had their own series. But I enjoyed something different from Korea.

About Youth

Taiwan 2022 Gaga

A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by an almost real world authenticity and grit. More here.

Restart After Come Back Home AKA Risutato wa tadaima no ato de

Japan 2020 Gaga?

Atmospheric study in rural Japan meets complex family dynamics built on a romance framework of city boy meets country boy, grumpy/sunshine. It’s beautiful and icy sweet. Slow moving in places but ultimately worth the patience, low heat, low angst, and stunning.

DNA Says Love You

Taiwan 2022 Gaga

DNA deserves extra marks for an upbeat approach to a queer story arc that other shows have systemically mishandled with sadness (in the guise of realism). There is a twist, which I found predictable, but knowing what would happen didn't spoil this show. The leads are luminous and engaging, and it’s full of queer found family representation and an unexpected amount of domesticity, plus it’s Taiwan, so the kisses are great. The first few eps are rough going but have patiences, it's worth it as the last ones really are special and life/love affirming - and the end is big-grin charming.

My Tooth Your Love

Taiwan 2023 Viki

Earnest dentist hottie with sad eyes who worries too much is smitten by an adorable sunshine neurotic bar owner with serious anxiety issues. They fall madly in love while courting each other with food, plushies, and naps. Then, shocker, talk about their feelings and try to actually sort out their problems so they can have an adult relationship. Bonus crumbs = 18 year old poor little rich kid in mad crush with a much older man. I really enjoyed this show, it had a unique premise, killer dialogue, there was a solid lead pair with charming chemistry, soft flirtation, delightful smiling kisses, and stinkingly cute domesticity.

Where Your Eyes Linger

Korea 2020 Viki

Ostensibly high school set about a poor kid whose been raised in a mafia kid’s family specifically to protect him (whipping boy trope, attack dog variant). Themes of codependency and survival with pretty classic Korean style romance ending.

TharnType

Thai 2019 Viki

This Thai BL has everything: university setting, great acting and complex characters, interesting friendship groups, enemies to lovers, angsty coming out, high production values, AMAZING chemistry, and multiple BL side couples with all the issues. But when I said everything I meant it because there's also: damaging queer rep, strong seme/uke and husband/wife language, classic tropes and lots of them, child abuse, bullying, mental illness, rough play, dub-con, non-con, and statutory rape (by the seme/gay character).

and its spin off: Don't Say No also qualifies for this post.

In fact most Mame stuff will involved trauma & drama, specifically.

Love By Chance 2

Love in the Air (Part 2)

Wedding Plan

Some others but I'm getting tired:

I Told Sunset About You et al

You Are Mine

Dear Doctor, I'm Coming for Your Soul

Ghost Host Ghost House

But frankly there are a ton more depending on how you look at it. I mean, what about Why R U? FIghter's dad is the issues with him coming out, but it's not really in the plot until late so ?

Lakorn BL drama llama soaps & similar

Moonlight Chicken - review here

Laws of Attraction

To Sir, With Love - review here

Sirs not appearing on this list

Our Dining Table is driven by childhood trauma but not angsty, similar to Oxygen. Not Me is angsty and dramatic and family stuff, but that's not really the driver of the plot. Life Love On the Line is all angst but he brought it on himself.

(source)

Updated Nov 19, 2023, no intention of adding to this so if you want more, look at the comments. Someone is bound to get annoyed their favorite isn't on the list.

[silviakundera]

Joy of Life S2, ep 13 - 15 comments

Chen Pingping continues to be both using Fan Xian and a good mentor. He contains multitudes! Which is what makes him such a compelling character.

Second Prince is the least interesting he's ever been when he's in scenes with Ye Ling Er playing the victim. It's just too easy to manipulate her and so I can't care very much.

The way Fan Xian's mother is this powerful spectre that haunts the narrative... and it's not just her Seductive Beauty™ . It's in the way we more commonly see with a Great Man trope: a famed marital arts master, a dead legendary general or past king.... a father or grandfather figurehead. I both wish we knew about her but DON'T. She works best as a partial sketch; an unsolved poignant mystery.

Ep 14

Saintess!!!!!!!!!!!! reappears! After Fan Xian finally called her friend in ep 13 (朋友!). I don't believe you either, girl, that it's all about the treasury. You're bros!!!!!! He seduced a bromance out of you.

They basically gave 2P's new guard enough characterization for us to be interested in what happens to him. RIP your hopes & dreams my dude, it's been real

Guao Baokun and Loser Brother is a match made in heaven. I missed all the Beiqi people so much. Fan Xian playing 4D chess and getting them to babysit Guo Baokun. "Let's leave a good impression, he might come back." 😂 The way they have to escort those dumbasses to the border.

Fan Xian wants friends SO BAD it's literally tragic to me. He wants to make Censorate guy his friend because there's no one he can trust not to turn on him for benefits (other than the Fan family).

Ep 15

Chen Pingping & Fan Xian put on a ridiculous show. Very amusing but I feel like they should have been more convincing, if for no other reason than giving the emperor his due. 2nd Prince simply tried harder. Hate to say it about the enemy but facts are facts.

We already got a read on the emperor about Second Prince. A temporary grounding is all he can countenance (even that is a gift to Fan Xian and a warning to not exceed boundaries). To any extent he likes the faction wars and is happy to stir shit up & eat popcorn. But at least right now, he's gonna protect all his sons. In his own twisted way he cares about Crown Prince, Second Prince, and Fan Xian. Just not more than he cares about himself & power & control.

Censor Lai pushing the emperor too far "Are you saying everyone is confused but you?" It's honestly shocking he wasn't executed before this. Bro you just tired of living?

Crown Prince pinching his leg and having fake hysterics while his flunky joins in while 2P looks disgusted. This is why CP is my bestie. He's hilarious.

Fan Xian finally realizing what his brothers already know - that there are limits to the emperor's condescending forbearance. They can't become a potential threat to him and he can't feel they are out of his control. When FX is playing with His Majesty, all is permissible. But when he's not...

The burning indentures scene reminding me of Blossoms in Adversity, a drama I ended up enjoying more than I expected. (If only it was blessed with the quality of acting we see in every cast member of JOL.)

[mobius-m-mobius]

I cannot believe that season. truly just. there was not a single episode I didn't sit down to without a genuine conviction that *this* would be the episode where they spit all over everything I loved about the show. I braced constantly throughout the episodes as they kept setting themselves up for Very Stupid story choices only to pull the rug and go "HAHA surprise, idiot!!! We've given you exactly what you wanted <3". until the final episode which was NOT what I wanted and also exponentially better storytelling and character development than any of the ideal scenarios I'd constructed.

something deeply meta about it all. truly a chaos season for the chaos god, where the most chaotic, unexpected, transformative thing they can do is to be good.

Spent the day processing my love for this season only to have your message sum my thoughts and feelings up perfectly, thank you so very much for sending it 💖

Same as you, not for a second did I go in truly expecting anything from s2. Owen and Mobius have my heart, always will, so primarily the show was a vehicle to provide whatever crumbs of his scenes and chemistry with Tom I could get and with the start of every episode I braced for the moment that would get ruined in some way, only to be continually hit with everything I've ever wanted in a show or pairing right up until the finale. Which, while not what I would've chosen, was beautifully crafted and an almost Shakespearean tragic romance that will haunt me for the rest of my days and is still infinitely better than the nightmare scenarios I'd been floating around in my mind so at least there's that and it's impossible not to be thankful for eps 1-5 for giving content anyone could dream of and more 😅

Besides the obvious ending, I'm mostly crushed our Loki and Mobius didn't get a proper goodbye but honestly believe Loki decided to seek out s1 Mobius instead knowing s2 Mobius loved him too much to ever let his sacrifice happen and it would've been too much to bear, so having made his mind up already he at least tried to visit a version most likely to validate his choice. Just wish the Mobius now waiting until the end of time had at least a similar opportunity, but I'm just thankful he didn't lose his memories and could make his own decision that his faith in Loki is what's carried him before and will continue to do so now.

The flip of their characterization from order or chaos is exactly what has me convinced Lokius will reunite because how can they not with such an open ended future?? Even in separation they revolve around each other and they're the only ones left wanting. Mobius and his life are in ruins with nothing but the passage of time and possibility of some spent with Loki ahead while Loki's surely going to find a way to meet halfway when the choice of order has not only made him potentially the most powerful being in existence but one who spends eternity looking at the only person who ever saw him back.

[roccinan]

How do you feel when you watch the spin off? What do you think of it? And do you like it? For me, I sort of like eps 1-4, the rest are just meh, I couldn't bring myself to care for the other characters, I tried. And I was very confused, what year the spin off?. It started off good and... Idk. All I can say is that Andres truly belong in the asylum. That man creeps me out. If I were Camille, I ran away the second I saw that creep. Lol.

Hello anon! I couldn't answer you earlier because I didn't get to watch it. But now I've finished it and, hum, I certainly have a lot of thoughts that I'll probably post later LOL.

For now, here are the most fresh on my mind. I agree with you- eps 1-4 were surprisingly good, last one was pretty cool too, ralicia supremacy. I was mostly just surprised I didn't dislike it. Can't say I loved it, or that it's my ideal berlin spinoff, but for all the "factors" against it that Pina chose of his own free will asdfasdf, it turned out surprisingly OK.

Spinoff takes place around 2013, according to Pina. Which messes with the canon timeline so much we'll just have to see it as a parallel universe where time doesn't matter.

I now call spinoff!Andres my wife. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. So unfortunately, I cannot slander my bride like that.

But I liked that he was still a freak. The show didn't try to make him a better person thankfully, but I think a lot of the reviews were complaining about him being an asshole or complaining that he was ruined for not being enough of an asshole, missed the mark a bit. The main problem, if we have to pick one, about him, is that the context around him is too shallow to take seriously. His speeches about love have no substance (and they actually did in lcdp) because the circumstances have no substance. He's putting romance above the heist because well, why shouldn't he lmao? There's no personal stake here, and it's not like he'll get capital punishment for getting caught.

And that "problem" extends to everyone else. Their motives and actions are just very shallow and There for the sake of being there. Like Roi and Cameron could have had a moving romance, but instead Cameron made me cringe very badly with how much she felt like Alex Pina's idea of "hawt gurl with sad past!!" And said "sad" past was actually really fucked up but the story didn't seem to think so!? It wasn't a tragic romance--it was a 20-something musician sleeping with a 15yo fangirl, abducting her, and then traumatizing her so badly she entered the asylum and ended up hanging out with berlin. Like????

I'll say I misunderstood Keila though. Liked her a lot better in the show than the trailers. But everytime I went "oh, I like her uwu" she'd do something that makes me GAG like inhaling Bruce's sweat or licking his spoon asdfasdf Also the part where she confessed her love for him after the snake bite gave me secondhand embarrassment. None of the love stories felt lasting, believable, or touching to me. Probably because there were too many of them and it was even more convenient than lcdp proper!

Bruce was different than I expected. He's insensitive, but not "dumb" like the character descriptions made him out to be. Same as Keila. Everytime I thought "I like him uwu" he'd do something like talk about pubic hair or cover himself in oil/water, instantly making me die.

Damian is Sergio 2.0 and also Martin 2.0, but straight and old. No strong feelings for him either way. But it was funny that Andres got so mad about sharing a bed with him, when he was willingly hopping into bed with Martin LMAO. Also ngl, it stung my little berlermo heart to see Damian and Andres sing karaoke and go on a lover's bike ride together.

Roi was my favorite new member. He felt like a real original character, and his relationships with Cameron and Andres were nicely fleshed out even if they both confused me. Cameron because the romance was shallow to me. Andres because Roi never told us how they met or why Andres took him in. Andres giving Roi advice on temper control is also hilarious. We'll just have to assume that Andres is willing to raise everyone's kid except his own. He even took that one boy to the bathroom asdfasdf

But overall, I agree anon. I just didn't care for the new characters the same way I did the old gang or the cormorants. Maybe because the stakes were too low or because they were always beautiful and perfect (except Damian lol) no matter the situation. I personally think the producers were trying very hard to create new stars with this show, so they aggressively showed off Pina's flashy new blorbos (cameron, keila, bruce, and roi) but you can't force popularity. This is also my conspiracy theory for the lack of Sergio- they knew having the profesor here would take too much attention from the flashy new blorbos.

Not much to say about Camille. Was hoping she'd be cooler/smarter than this, but what kind of smart woman would not see the red flags in Andres LMAO. Wasn't surprised when Polignac turned out to be an asshole either- man just has the face of a jerk. Was disappointed that they didn't have a threesome with Andres. And the smartest person was Camille's friend.

Lastly, SAME ANON LOL Andres was an insane stalker, off the wall crazy and so annoying about it too. I wish Camille would have slapped him in the end, but oh well- at least their storyline didn't end as stupidly as it could have. She got her money at least XD Hopefully she's not dumb enough to reunite with him (and if she's wife no. 4 we know it didn't work out already).

Does the show deserve a season 2? No. Will I watch season 2? Yes LOL

Main takeaways:

Romance 1/10 Heist 7.5/10 Pedro's face 11/10 New characters 2/10 (not sharing all of their backstories or why/how they ended up in berlin's gang was a major weak point imo) Story 5/10

A solid 7/10 if we don't compare it to lcdp.

[faceofpoe]

Musings about next week's finale and trying to wrap my head around the wonky back half of the season pacing after my adoration for 1-7...

As fun as 'Omega is riding the zillo best outta here' and 'the Echo & Emerie team-up we never knew we needed' are...

And forgiving the big '???' that is Hunter & co's plan at this stage because like, sir, there are three of you (+ deadweight) trying to sneak up on a high-alert secure facility on foot (with no backup sound familiar??) (jfc Echo I hope you called for backup)...

(seriously I do not understand why they did not detach while they were still in orbit and send their coordinates out to Rex & co)

With the exceptions of episodes 2&9-10, this season has been about... Crosshair. Even when it doesn't quite seem like it's about Crosshair... it's about Crosshair.

(8 is very much about Crosshair if you watch it the way I watch it) (it is also very short if you watch it the way I watch it LOL)

(10 could arguably be made about Crosshair, from the perspective of seeing deeper into what Hemlock wanted him to become)

(fuck it, let's even make 2 a little bit about Crosshair, as Deke, Stak, and Mox give us a firsthand account of just how fucking twisted Hemlock is)

(reach with me friends lol)

To a certain extent, I think (I hope?) the pacing feels weird because we're really watching Crosshair's journey. And Crosshair was in something of a holding pattern from eps 5-10. He's home. He's traumatized. He wants nothing more than to put Tantiss behind him. Circumstances won't quite let him.

He plays ball with the datapad, he's as helpful as he's willing to be considering he wants nothing more than to never be obliged to return to Tantiss.

I never did quite sleuth the timing of his 'um actually' about the assassins with Rex; why in that specific moment he deems it worth mentioning besides dramatic irony lol oops there's one in the next room.

But the speed with which he used his ex-Imperial know-how to figure out the datapad was our clue as to how events would progress (with such limited screen time left) after he misses the shot in ep 11. It comes off rushed but only because he's had the tools. He just very much did not want.

So yeah, shoving it back and returning for Omega - who is probably the reason he never spoke up about Rampart in the first place, as her determination to rescue the other clones was the first thing out of her mouth on Lau - brings us nicely full circle with episode 3.

But this short-episode slow-build of eps 12-14 - the way he talks about never wanting to go back, reminding us twice about the hand - needs a dramatic tragic rewarding payoff specific to him. And, given the slow unraveling of information - a payoff specific to just what it is he is still not saying.

I actually do expect a mostly triumphant ending (some of you have extremely dark expectations for this show and these characters good lord) but there's gotta be one more big hit before we get it.

Omega riding the zillo beast out of here (lol) and the Echo & Emerie team-up we never knew we needed are fun, but I can't imagine a satisfying climactic drama to Tantiss that isn't centered around the question of: "Okay but just what has Crosshair fucked up so badly?"

(And being me, the answer of course is: CX-Tech but YMMV)

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a long weekend

10pm, sunday, oct 8, 2023

it's canadian turkey-day tomorrow ~ it's windy and grey outside ~ there is pumpkin pie in the fridge and i'm wearing an extremely pleasing wooly sweater my housemate was going to give away. we've turned the heat on for the first time this season. the cozy season of the year has arrived.

reading finished victoria goddard's whiskeyjack, book 3 in the greenwing & dart series! reading this series for me is an exercise in noticing the easter eggs that tell me it was written by a medievalist, and an academic, and a medievalist academic with a degree from the program i'm currently in. there's so much in this particular volume about poetry analysis. she came so close to using the word 'semiotic' and actually did use the phrase 'exoteric.' while i might have quibbled about things like pacing and plot and how i still don't always think first-person is a good fit in the hands of most authors, these books are like tailor-made for me. i can't not enjoy them.

and then on the other hand, i spent some extremely happy hours this past week with patrick o'brian's post captain. when i first read the aubrey books, i was probably in high school, fresh out of racing through the hornblower series. because the aubreyad is-- i'll be honest-- better writing, but also demands more of you as a reader, i fully didn't appreciate like 80% of this book. i knew the series, as much by osmosis as by actual time spent reading, and reading it now? felt like coming home. especially since i now have the attention, and the ability, to read between the lines. to pick up on the irony, the allusions, the humor, the misdirection! the women oh my god how did i not appreciate sophie, diana, or mrs. williams before now. i didn't mind before how little of the larger world and society made it into the movie, but i actually understand the griping now. but even more than that, i found the ship action and actual, like, battle extremely tense and interesting this time; i was up well into the night at one point just to see what would happen next, because i was nervous for my dear boys.

watching friday night double-feature with @hematiterings where we enjoyed the first three new episodes of Our Flag Means Death and finished with another two of netflix's Arcane: League of Legends, which we're probably going to finish fairly soon so i'll focus on that one. just quickly though, had a great time with the first new ofmd episode, just extremely good work from all involved, and then was weirdly not as into the second two-- though the end of ep 3 was back to grand. i think in general i like where the season is going, and i'm going to withhold further comment until we've seen some more.

i was not expecting to like arcane as much as i have been. didn't have a clue what it was when we started, but the art style has absolutely blown me away. here's a quick run-down of the animation, which is a mix of hand-painted digital, 2D, and absolutely gorgeous. it looks like a video game and a painting at the same time-- not in the same way spiderverse combines animation and illustration, but with some familiar elements. people's eyes have this amazing jewel-like depth and clarity? scenery that made us go 'oh, paris looks so nice!' and 'man i love cyberpunk' and other such witticisms. but seriously, if you like good animation and also art nouveau-inspired steam-punk aesthetics, there's a lot here. plus a good (dare I? could league of legends be good, actually?) tragic story-line, and enough twists that i haven't seen coming, to really get me curious about what comes next.

listening a long time ago, probably back in 2021 around the time of the most recent album, i think @mankillercalledbunny was sharing playlists or links that featured The Amazing Devil, and at roughly the same time i had a spotify playlist include a track or two for me, and now here we are. had their two albums "ruin" and "the horror and the wild" on all week, which made it a bit hard to read at times because i would get caught in the lyrics. this is exactly the kind of music two people who met at the RSC would make, it is dramatic, sort of gothic, sort of folky, sort of theater. the contrary motion, the interweaving voices, esp. in the chorus of "marbles", is where i've been living recently. i like knowing this about joey batey, i like that he has this extra dimension now when i see him as jaskier! i hope he can find a way to come back to it again, whenever.

playing i finally (after how long!) got the wizard's ink well - witch's pendant - goblins (??) quest in stardew! not a hard one at all, but so satisfying to be able to use that hint that had been hovering there in the library for the past, oh, real-world year or so. i'm like 50 pieces of hardwood away from getting the ferry up and running too, and i'm excited to move off of the plateau i've been on and open up the next level of the world.

making i mentioned the pumpkin pie up top, and it did turn out well this year despite a distracted me happening to leave out the butter when mixing the filling-- i noticed before it got into the oven, luckily, and was able to add it in! but...while it was in the pie crust, which was kind of sloppy. no nicely pinched or braided crust for me this year. and then, since the size of can of pumpkin you buy here is always a little too big for the recipe, i tried out the smitten kitchen pumpkin bread that many friends have recommended before, and that has been a delight. moist without being dense or heavy, but still very substantial? a little bit less sugar than the recipe called for, and no freshly ground nutmeg, but we did have fresh ginger and overall it is very nice. it also rose architecturally, which was maybe a function of it being on a higher rack? or of me miss-counting scoops of baking soda? anyway, hilarious.

working on working on consistency. working on momentum. working on not getting in my own way. draft of this conference paper due 10/26, slides and notes for this guest lecture due 10/25, and the chapter abides. the conference paper serves it directly, however, which i feel good about. i keep finding new things to read about, and keep being glad i've continued researching, since i'm coming up with excellent (it feels) material to work with, but i can't let that get in the way of actually. writing.

[liyazaki]

MOR! My beloved. I can always expect the truth from you. Overall thoughts on Between Us? I know the final ep was not your fave but how about the series? What would you want to keep? What would you want to change?

Eboni, my darling- hoo, boy. you're about to get way more than you bargained for, but I got some Thoughts™️ & some Things™️ to say.

disclaimer: Between Us was a sweet, serviceable, inoffensive show. I mostly enjoyed watching it & I loved being back in the UWMA universe, however tangentially.

speaking to the collective “you” here: if you loved the show from start to finish, I'm sincerely happy for you! if it'll lessen your BU fandom experience to read critiques- which is valid & completely understandable- click away. I swear I'm not trying to rain on your parade (or argue with anyone, which I won't be- period).

also, let's check ourselves: this is a show. it's not that serious- it couldn't be less serious, actually. sometimes I just like to go off the analytical deep end...it's a good time for a nerd like me. this is my house (my blog) & I'm just having fun, throwing digital paint around.

with all that out of the way, let's jump into it.

UWMA set an extremely high narrative standard. we knew from scene one the writers weren't messing around. that opening is burned into my memory forever.

from compelling flashbacks, to multiple couples that had something for everyone, to little plot details weaved in from the beginning that only made sense later- they knew exactly what story they were trying to tell & they told it in a big way. it was tightly constructed, cleanly delivered and hit all the right notes for me personally.

UWMA is a tough act to follow. in the end, it felt like Between Us barely tried. to quote an MDL reviewer (before the finale even aired): in with a bang, out with a whimper.

step one of any good story is solid character development. it's what draws us in, making & keeping us emotionally invested. we have to like these characters- and know enough about them- in order to care. that- and a good, solid plot- is what sustains our attention.

in a pretty atypical way, Between Us had serious emotional fan investment long before it had basically any character development (thanks to BounPrem's chemistry, IMO).

Win and Team had roughly 31 minutes of total screentime in UWMA, but you'd have never known it from the fever-pitch fandom support years before its release. we didn't have much real character knowledge or depth to go off of, but many of us came into this show ravenous for more of their story (raises hand).

the show's over now and, disappointingly, I don't feel like I learned much about either Win or Team that I didn't already know. we did see them struggle- Team with his guilt and insecurities; Win with his vague intimacy aversion and self worth issues.

Team and Win had plenty of things between (heh) the two of them to overcome- so what went wrong?

for me, Between Us suffered from a tragic case of barely-scratching-the-surface character development (there was so much there to play with narratively & yet- sigh), paired with serious flaws in the rising action.

every single story in existence uses rising action. to quote Henry of The Closer Look, a media analyst I like: "rising action is basically narrative tension. it's the way the conflict builds as the story goes along."

when a story utilizes rising action effectively, the audience ends up feeling almost elated by the end. it's almost like we actually went on the same journey as the characters, and we now get to bask alongside them in just how far they've come. we want to see characters we care for improve, persevere. overcome, conquer.

when rising action is handled correctly, the plot progression looks something like this.

via Henry's excellent analysis on why TLOU2 divided its fandom so thoroughly

Between Us had tension, it had conflict- but it looked something like this (I'd add way more hills, personally).

"what you're seeing here is an abomination of story structure." hey- Henry said it; not me.

the conflicts went up and down throughout the story. Team internally spirals; Win does something sweet and pulls him out of it. everything seems fine; Win pulls back.

rinse, wash, repeat in an endless cycle, made worse by the fact that they struggled with- and apparently overcame- the same. exact. issues, over and over, the entire time.

conflicts that seemed to be resolved came back exactly as they were, sometimes multiple times in a single episode. by episode 7 or so, it was getting tedious. by the end, I was just bummed.

for me, watching Between Us was going around in circles, hoping we were working towards some actually-important climax that never came. and I wanted to believe we were going somewhere, right up until the bitter beige-on-beige end.

there were no scenes that actually made me hold my breath, ala Bad Buddy’s confession-of-legends on the rooftop. no repeating themes, masterfully culminating in the finale (running up the cape in ITSAY). Between Us left me with an itch for depth and impact that only fan fics can scratch at this point (bless you writers).

yeah, Win and Team ended up together- of course they did. I don't think anyone had any doubts they would eventually. but standing at the finish line, do I care that they ended up together?

I hate to say it, but- not really. they didn't give me enough to make it feel meaningful- like it actually meant something. it just- is. yay? I guess?

this post was brutal enough, but to answer your question about what I'd keep & what I'd change? it's hard to pick when the whole thing just felt like special episodes (filled with lots of cute, sweet moments, to be fair) with an enormous dash of missed opportunity.

all in all, I don't regret watching but it's a universe I'll only be returning to via fan fic fixes- and UWMA, my forever top 3 BL beloved.

[cacaitos]

2023 manga list:

most of the manga i read this year. more or less around 90, but that's also counting short stories, and things i omitted.

bottom text.

beastars/beast complex [3/5] beastars as an action shonen (or a story anyway) is all over the place so don't get your hopes up to much on that front. beastars' main consistent strong point is being Horny and Weird. i've said that sometimes it doesnt compromise with the logical terms of its premise but exploring a variety of odd relationships is imo the most interesting and engaging element of it anyway.

chainsaw man [4/5] overall is a mostly normal shonen if you were expecting for something more alternative. to be honest a lot how you would feel about Pt 1 will be told by how you feel about having very consecutive character deaths, it can feel a bit rushed. but it is indeed a bit distinctive abt how it tackles the topic of intimacy/relationships esp predatory ones in jump-type shonen. can't complain too much on that front. fire punch [3/5] once the berserk-type edgyness aside on the story is aptly entertaining, tho by some stretches it can be disorienting plotwise, in a negative way. it drops Lots of plot points or rushes them... you can really grow to like some characters but there will be a point -you will know- that it just kinda disengages w you. Curious existential ending. good if you're bored.

golden kamuy [3.5/5] also more typical shonen-esque than i expected. it never gets That Much Dark imo, as in total slow downers i mean. although obviously it is 'dark' more on the bizzare part. fun characters.

kaze to ki no uta [4/5] to be honest it does live up to the reputation of making you generally emotionally Unwell. but on my experience the development of gilbert and serge grew more engaging than I expected. tragic banger. terra e... [3/5] also was more than i expected since the one time i tried with the anime i got bored 1 ep in. but the story and tomy as the mc also gave me more heartfelt emotions than I expected. the pacing and amount info conveyed can get exhausting tho. didn't care much abt the ending. natsu e no tobira [2/5] the ova is gorgeous so it has those points on its favour. otherwise the ova and the manga are almost identical. youth and death themes and all i did Nawt care abt that pedo woman. weird story to develop that shoujo theme abt allowing ppl to see your vulnerability but eh i'll take it.

YAMAMOTO: ichi the killer [3.5/5] frenetic and entertaining enough if you're willing to go through knowing the tw's. suprisingly fast to read. if you're looking for the yamamoto Experience, it's a must after hommunculus. voyeur/voyeurs inc [2/5] got awfully disappointed w voyeurs-inc; i got hooked on voyeur (ie the prototype) but the change of cast on inc was a total letdown. don't think it's worth reading of you're a ymmt casual. maybe just the prototype. okama report [0/5] don't even fucking bother. barely passable even for anybody that's very into ymmt. adam & eve [2/5] shit story, curious fights/interactions.

KATSUHIRO OTOMO akira [3/5] a lot of the military and persecution sequences get so annoying and boring sometimes but if you forget abt the adaptations it's a decent enough scifi-action thing. the movie is better at that. the relationship between kaneda and tetsuo- dont like rn to pit which of the two did it better, but from the movie to the manga it's deff not a letdown, especially for tetsuo that has a lot more time. he's interesting. domu [2.5/5] interesting action wise, but as for story I wouldn't bother. kanojo no omoide (memories of her) [3/5] ootomo himself said some of the stories are quite meaningless and nonsensical lol but if you've seen the Magnetic Rose ova you will like some of them. world apartment horror [3/5] 1st didn't care about. liked 2nd. 3rd i didn't get shit. 4th it was cute. visitors [3/5] liked it. short piece/short peace [3/5] i liked it. highway star [3/5] feels like that suicide episode of paranoia agent, that kind of humor lol. boogie wogie waltz [1/5] uncomprehensible. good weather [1/5] eh.

houseki no kuni [4/5] it isn't getting better, the tragedy doesn't stop it's not an understatement. whoa.

dorohedoro [3/5] entertaining seinen, tho sometimes it gets kinda confusing and convoluted. love the characters theyre fun :)

ajin [4/5]

i was surprised that it was a closed off story from what i expected coming from the anime haha. neat action panelling and art. I get the feel that some characters had more to give and develop, but not disappointing.

OSHIMI SHUZO flowers of evil [3/5] the romantic triangle didnt bother me as much as i expected. it is a weird manga know that up front. i'm inside mari [4/5] i quite liked it and was quite surprised abt that fact lol. blood on the tracks [4/5] good family drama at leaston my year'sranking; shuzo's art style does wonders and is v immersive. some said that it felt repetitive and while i can say at some point the went a bit ehhhh, but reading it all back to back instead of weekly i don't feel it's that draggy. backwards i think it could've used more chapters, or content rather. happiness [2.5/5] tbh got disappointed, kinda disperse. like half 1 and 2 don't have much to do... okaeri alice [2.5/5] some individual characters really do make the manga endurable but some bits from the main characters are so...? unnecessary, or unnecessarily long at least. not really shuzo's best work. avant-garde yumeko [-/5] odd.

NAGABE totsukuni no shoujo [4.5/5] i mean, for most of it that i can describe it well with heartwarming but bittersweet, about parent-child relationships, love, loneliness, sacrifice, it's pretty good at that. then It Gets You. monotone blue [4/5] refreshing bl, sweet, the art delivers and the sensitivity. and i say refreshing bl bc it's not weird abt sa or adjacent harrassment.

i read most of his shoujo works, but they're too many to mention if you liked totsukuni you will like them, nothing to lose. some uh moral objections on some..EAT [-/5] it's okay. if you don't mind horny furries. SMELL [-/5] errr..... ok.

RYO SUMIYOSHI/SUZURI MADK [2.5/5] good art as always. more fucked up background things as it goes on but the mako-J thing is kinda crayzay. it has some hasty character developments at important times... torso no bokura [2/5] also good art, nothing too upsetting if at least relative to MADK. kinda enjoyable and entertaining anthology.

NEMUI ASADA sleeping dead [3/5] imo asada's overall best work, or at least to beginners or if you plan to read just one of hers. since the translation of the work is not finished i don't wanna assume the ending, but the starting premise is interesting enough, although we're currently on a less eventful note plotwise which can feel a bit disappointing for the moment. my little inferno [1.5/5] not particularly interesting conceptually, or writing. madara moyou no yoi [1.5/5] noticeable premise for an asada work, it being more action oriented i mean, but it's still to early to say in execution. SKIN [1/5] what the hell. that's asada for everybody/ dear, my god [1/5] odd ending. didn't coincide with how the story was handling at least the preist, imo. i literally don't care about the cactus story. CALL [2/5] surprisingly not so harsh of an asada story. more of a normal kind of depressing bl. ai, sei [1/5] don't mind in any particular direction. loved circle [1/5] did not care for the setting. not as dark as you would expect but not particularly interesting either. whatever ending. to the sea [1/5] ...? that happened i guess.

hikaru ga shinda natsu [3.5/5] it's a manga that has earned a reputation and a set of expectations that (i haven't caught up w latest ch) that delivers on the visual and effective ambientation, but we're to see on the story but good so far.

double (noda ayako) [4/5] veeery expressive art from noda. if you let it be as a normal acting manga it can get you by surprise on some emotional beats. better go in with low expectations, different tastes and all.

my broken mariko [3.5/5] it's a short story, solid. gorg art that adds to the sorrow and bittersweetness.

gunjou [3.5/5] hmmm it can feel a bit repetitive the back and forth at several points of the story, depends of how you read that related to unstable relationships. i don't necessarily want to brand it mainly as a GL but all in all its still one of the most interesting entries on it, with a toxic relationship that commits to the complexity of the situation.

gunjou gakusho [2.5/5] a melancholic anthology with beautiful art. i got to like a pair of the stories.

omoide emanon/sasurai emanon [3/5] personally i preferred omoide emanon (the one the mangaka said was Twitter for people unfamiliar w emanon) and i prefer the lineal story tbh. sasurai ones can be hit or miss, some feel incomplete? or unconcluded. i mean sasurai was cancelled midway so.

bibliomania [2/5] cool art, intriguing initial premise and execution, but i didn't find it particularly interesting by the end part, like thematically.

banana bread no pudding [2/5] didn't care for the main relationship itself, but the protagonist ended up being more engaging than i expected. a mostly soft and bittersweet read, but i would wait ot read more of the author's works to say how recommendable i would rank it as.

petshop of horrors [2.5/5] the individual stories can be hit ot miss from one person to another but imo D is very consistently entertaining and likeable lol.

higashi nishida [2.5/5] not much consistency but they have a nice undertsated feeling personally :). some of its introspection catches you off guard. no high expectations though.

kodomo wa wakette agenai [3/5] it's a nice short story, it's funny if you don't come in expecting loud knee-slappers types of jokes. it's good if you're looking for something light to read.

she loves to cook, she loves to eat [3/5] also good if you're looking for something light to read.

tamen de gushi [3/5] wholesome as you would expect. nice art on later years. depends on your taste.

my solo exchange diary [4/5] actually liked and grew to appreciate the author's organized narration style. it avoids a lot of confusion and she verbalizes her feelings in a relatable way for somethings sometimes so awkward to say out loud.

seibetsu x [2.5/5] this one is much less organized temporally and thematically so it can get a bit confusing, but it's funny on it's own, since the author is very blunt on their feelings lol.

killing stalking [3/5] less Evil than i remembered, just as disturbing, just as mid ending as i remembered. maybe it's bc of being a reread -that helps pick some things better- but reading it out of the heat of the moment in its era it's not as ill intended or deliberately romanticizing as one might have led to believe; it understands that much at least. visually however, still often leans into more eroticism i call inappropiate and unncessary.

boy's abyss [2.5/5] it's a manga that drags and wanders aimlessly too much, it gets repetitive. there are some plots and elements i consider more consistent and interesting, like the family, predatory relationships and the town's seeming unescapability themes, but the suicidal thing gets a bit exasperating when it just goes nowhere. dont expect tooo much. kinda good to binge tho.

himegoto, juukyuusai no seifuku [2.5/5] if you see the premise i know it sounds kinda weird but as i said when i read it my only comment abt is that it's suprisingly more compelling than one would expect, if you dont question much the individual prompts. gets kinda heavy by the end w on character tho.

yuureitou [2.5/5] sometimes entertaining on an adventure mystery type thing. theme and writing quality varying for the first 2/3s, off it's shits by the third that's kinda ehh conceptually. read it for some crazy shit ending. trans-wise, on the mc side, well they're some consistently annoying things all throughout but technically good intentioned but the ending 1/3 is v transmisogynistic, heads up.

uzumaki [2/5] ito's art is good. didnt really get me going much but not hated reading it. didnt get the ending, or didnt like it a lot at least.

fetish, kaoru fujiwara [2.5/5] takes a turn in seriousness by the 2nd story. 3rd story is so 😖 err, and then the rest go down in tone again.

the view beyond, kaoru fujiwara [2.5/5] one of those wouldn't that be fucked up stories. like that sure happened. not precisecly im even a fan of the message of the premise, even if it's technically showing it's horrible results.

raise wa tanin ga ii [3.5/5] t'was funny. all in all, esp towards the last chapters their interactions turn more earnest, personally, than i expected.

crying freeman [2/5] major saving grace is the art, it's pretty good. dunno, it feels however you feel about edgy 007-type 80s stories. personally didnt care abt mafia-clan thing substainance plots.

devilman lady [2/3] lot's of SA till it gets a bit unbearable and boring, heads up. did not care about most of the plot itself but if you liked the og devilman characters, the mains of Lady have the same likeability. save from The Horrors of the end. -shin devilman [1/5] boring. don't lose nothing over not reading it. uh. that first chaper uh.... -amon - devilman mokushiroku [1.5/5] edgy in the usual way dvm is edgy in that usual measure,s o the story is nothing to die for lol. good art (save for Things) and cool visuals, body horror, etc more than anything. the silene storyline is the more interesting part, the other idgaf about. -neo devilman [2/5] it's an anthology. seeing different artist's takes is entertaining enough. usual dvm edgyness. -devilman saga [0/5] boring dear god. not one saving grace of entertainment even for a nagai dvm work.

tetsuo the bullet man [1.5/5] shot for shot as the third tetsuo movie. i liked the manga and its ending more than the movie's tho. not like the movie is good anyway.

dog ningen [1/5] don't let the premise scare you, it's pretty mild. and amateur. and boring.

[showtoonzfan]

as someone who really only cares about fizz (and by extension, ozzie and mammon) at this point, im kinda dreading his ep. like i fear they’re either going to uwu him (not just tragic backstory. just full on stolas coddling) and/or basically have him be ozzie’s pet/toy he sees as beneath him which would be…gross. idk

I think it’s safe to say Fizz and Ozzie are 100% wholesome and have nothing secretly dark going on, especially since Ozzie’s voice actor said they were cute himself. However, yeah I am worried for the episode as well, mainly because rather than focusing on Fizz and Ozzie, the core of the episode seems to stem from the relationship between Blitz and Fizz, and I’m just….with how the show has treated toxic relationships before, I’m so not ready to see Blitz act like a dick, only for the episode to work in his favor in the end because “he cares” deep down. That’s what these episodes feel like, Blitz always wins in the end or ends up getting sympathy, when he doesn’t deserve it, and despite Fizz also being Viv’s favorite and the episode will clearly dive into angst territory with him, I still feel like these two are going to be friends and make amends eventually, and I just…really don’t care about that.

Fizz and Ozzie COULD be interesting characters, but the fact that the show wants to connect them to Blitz just so they can add more drama (that we all know won’t even end with Blitz getting the consequences of his actions without the show cheering him on) is what makes me tired. However I feel like something good that could come out of this episode is that perhaps Fizz and Ozzie’s healthy relationship is what motivates Blitz and Stolas (mainly Stolas) to improve themselves and THEIR relationship, like maybe Stolas could see Ozzie and be like “oh yeah, maybe I CAN treat Blitz like a person and not look down on him and see him as a plaything”- that would be cool…but…I’m more expecting zero character development because god knows this show never does that, and Blitz probably being jealous so the show can baby him again.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Well. There was once a time I would have said it was impossible to waste another well-known actor who's on a show for a year and playing a really interesting character with an implied tragic backstory more than Holby did with Paul McGann as John Gaskell.

I take it back. Congratulations, Casualty has wasted Nigel Harman as Max Cristie more than Holby wasted Paul McGann as John. At least John Gaskell's exit was sad in a well-done-story way and had been built up to. This was sad in an infuriating way and has come out of nowhere.

I don't believe this is in character for Max at all. This is just horrible and cold, him walking out on Jodie again like this. Even if he believes she's better off without him, which is the kindest to Max interpretation of his behaviour I can think of... how can he believe walking out while she's still recovering is what's best for either of them?

Look. Max Cristie is not and never has been a good man. He's a volatile, selfdestructive, emotionally dysregulated mess with anger issues who makes other people's lives worse as well as his because he has a terrible sense of judgement about what he should or shouldn't do. He runs away when things get tough and is frightened of emotional intimacy. He has also been a terrible dad to Jodie.

But he was trying to get somewhere with her and cared about her in some sort of messed-up repressed way. Maybe not enough, maybe not the way he should have done, but in some way. And I don't believe he could have done this if he cared about Jodie in any way.

As I say, Max running away when things get hard is something we've seen in him before. More metaphorically than Henrik - who I always think to compare him to because I think they're very alike in personality - perhaps, and more metaphorically than he did tonight, but it's not unheard of. But this was just terribly handled.

This would have been cold and hard to believe coming from Henrik. From Max, it makes no sense at all.

It might've done something if we'd heard anything about him wanting to work elsewhere before. Even a few lines, from Dylan maybe - "Max, you never could settle down for long" or something like that - would have done a lot to establish that he can't be expected to stay. Similarly, maybe if Max's backstory had been explained at any point - instead of vague implications of some sort of traumatic or difficult past that are never explained - this might be more believable. It's not forgivable, but it could have been written in such a way as to be understandable. As it is? I can't even say it's that.

I mean, seriously, Max gets three scenes in his last ep? Three scenes and that's it? All because about 90% of the time was going to Faith and Iain drama that I do not care about. Argh. I already felt unwell with a headache today, I didn't need this too.

There's definitely not going to be any aftermath for Jodie either, is there? She should be devastated by this, realistically. She should really struggle to trust others after this. But I don't think any of that will happen. We'll be lucky if we get one scene of her saying she's sad about it after this week.

The Faith and Iain stuff just really upsets me. The way Faith behaves towards and about Natalia is awful to see and I'm tired of the show pretending Faith isn't abusive. And now Iain's being awful too. Natalia is a grown woman - a young one, yes, but a grown woman nonetheless (she's, what, 19-ish? 18 at the youngest) - and yet they talk down to her and patronise her constantly. She's struggling, and they're just seeing her as a "problem" to put up with. I can't stand it. Obviously her behaviour towards Iain was also out of line, but it's understandable why she's misreading him and I don't think the way he's reacting will do anything good for her. Though tbf he did already try to let her down gently, I suppose. Also, I relate to Nat a lot so I can't be 100% sure I'm coherent on this. I might be projecting too much.

It was nice for Jacob to get screentime, but he can't bond with Siobhan soon enough - I'm tired of him being Iain's life advice counsellor.

There were some great patient storylines tonight. It was nice to see Dylan in Dylan Disability Advocacy Keogh mode again, and I thought the story with Charlie's patients was handled very sensitively.

I'm so glad Charlie apologised to Stevie. She deserved it, and it was a lovely scene. For once, I agree with Charlie - Stevie is great and I hope to see her back soon.

Next week, we get Zoe Hanna back! Yay!

[retrograderesemblance]

“top 5” 80s shows, top 5 characters and why

tops 5 things! // @timeguardians

80s shows

1. The A-Team (1983-1987) This is the only show on this list that I've finished. It's horribly cheesy when it wants to be, and when you get a bad episode, it's a legitimately bad episode... but I'm weirdly fond of this series. The way the writers sort of drip-feed (?) you overarching storylines and character backgrounds is done in such a strange way that I'm not sure that original viewers would've gotten the same viewing experience as modern viewers who are able to binge the show. The Vietnam War veterans angle isn't something that starts to take proper shape until s2, but from s2 onwards, the episodes that allude to the characters' war experiences are done in good taste and I think make the characters feel more complex. Granted, there's no real payoff for these references, but there's also a sort of silent understanding among the main characters. They all worked together during the war, and they all understand that they don't need to talk about what happened. I think there is an argument to be made to the fact that even tho the characters left the war behind, the war is something that will continue to follow them for the rest of their lives.

2. Remington Steele (1982-1987) I haven't watched past s1 mostly bc I'm not ready for the show to abandon Murphy and Bernice and double-down on the Laura/Steele romance. I really like this show tho. Decent set up, decent episode plots, a good balance of humor and seriousness. For as much crap as I put Laura through on my blog, I seriously do really like her. She was apparently the first female private eye on television too ?? and this show became the blueprint for what would become Moonlighting. So that's cool!

3. Magnum P.I. (1980-1988) This show is at it's best with the Vietnam War-based episode plots. Apparently this was the first tv series to show Vietnam War veterans as protagonists in media; everything before this showed veterans as some trauma-possessed mass killers ?? which feels very '70s, honestly... While you sometimes have to power through half a season of cheesy monster-of-the-week-esque eps, it's worth it for the more serious performances. Tom Selleck was literally the perfect casting choice for Magnum.

4. Booker (1989-1990) Even tho I didn't finish s1, I liked this more than 21 Jump Street. While I like the og series, the concept becomes very wash and repeat after about 20 eps in when you consider the implications of how many high schools exist in the same city. The acting in Booker is a lot better, and it's an interesting setup for a private eye plot.

5. MacGyver (1985-1992) This is not my favorite 80s series by a longshot, but I watched the first 4 seasons and the tv movies, so I feel like I need to mention it. The pilot is the best episode, as weird as that sounds. MacGyver is known for things like being able to escape a locked room with a stick of gum and a lighter... but weirdly he only does that in the pilot ???? The series overall is... not good? *snorts* The plots are half-baked at best, the supporting cast makes you groan when they make appearances, and for some reason every single woman that MacGyver is friends with or in a relationship with, dies in some horribly tragic accident. While I would recommend this, dO NOT watch it expecting some cinematic masterpiece.

characters

1. James Bond (from the book series, not the movies, tho Timothy Dalton is closest to book!Bond) Oh my beloved James Bond, always on the verge of turning in his resignation letter akjdnakjbfajbf. I've only read about half the books so far, but I've jumped all over in the timeline and Bond is honestly a very jaded character. He's the epitome of a workaholic, but at the same time he knows he's not happy. Every time he tries to make some sort of change in his life to seek happiness, all his plans blow up in his face and he's often left lonelier than he was before. It's very interesting to follow a character who sort of just lives in the present, bc he fully expects not to live past the age of 40.

2. Sonny Corleone from The Godfather Love me a slightly unhinged male character who supports women's rights. There's a whole thesis I could write about how Sonny and Michael are essentially foils in the plot. Their father assumes that Michael is the more "Americanized" of his children and they butt heads over that, which is so hysterical bc Michael ends up proving that he was the most traditional of them all; Sonny was the one who was the most "Americanized" despite being g.roomed to take over the business from his father. Hate what the sequel films did to his character and background, but alas, book!Sonny will always be my favorite.

3. Janis Ian from Mean Girls I like Janis for the simple reason that's she's petty. She sees through a lot of the bullshit, but she's also self-aware enough to know that she's not above bullshit of her own.

4. Fanny Price from Mansfield Park I like how she made up her mind and stuck to her decisions and didn't let herself be bullied into changing her mind.

5. Ed Chigliak from Northern Exposure I think his character is really well done, showing sort of a modern Alaskan indigenous experience through the eyes of a character who's half-Tlingit, half-White. He's a nice person and enjoys his hobbies and wants to tell stories. He's not bitter like other characters on this list; he's just happy to be here.

[nero-draco]

BSD season 5

Just finished BSD this season. Pretty much my AotS with how it manages to keep me tense and excited throughout the season.

Easily peak BSD so far. The last episode is tense cause it feel like just waiting for what horrible plot twist will happen next, because when the last time good thing happen? Well it didn't and everything went alright for the gang save for the epilogue.

I didn't expect Fyodor to be completely outmaneuvered by Dazai like that. I always peg him as a bit smarter than Dazai all this time considering their track record at each other. But I guess they were roughly equal with Dazai has more advantage due his trustworthy friends. Also apparently Fyodor being in prison on purpose was less his plan and more Ochi trying to make him less a trouble so I guess Dazai did win his last bout against Fyodor. Though it also a bit stretching my suspension that Fyodor didn't notice Chuuya was acting all this time but maybe he just grew overconfident with his plan. I'm glad that it shows that the mafia isn't pushover at least.

I'm pretty sure this isn't over for Fyodor. We still don't know his ability or his background which is real telling as to why he will come back. My guess is either he possess Sigma, get resurrected, or he just faking his death inside the helicopter.

Speaking of Sigma I'm not sure what in store for him next. Is he dead? Or will Dazai get back and save him somehow? Dazai seems to like him at least plus there's also about him wanting to join the detective agency.

Aya was the real hero this time (though lets also give credit to Kunikida who not only saved her life before but also the one who inspired justice within her). Now she got vampire dad which is pretty slick.

Kyouka and Yosano didn't show up in this arc which is just weird. Could at least show them doing something else. I thought they were going to fight Akutagawa or Teruko in this arc but nope. Granted its still better than become hostage like Kunikida I guess.

Ochi's character was not what I expected. I thought he'd just typical lunatic madman trying to change the world but its not the case. The last ep really changes the perspective of his character and shows his nobility. I feel like his end and his character is treated with respect which is nice. Fukuzawa screaming at the end really hits my emotion. It just tragic and set the mood to the end of this arc.

And the epilogue, really 2 hours afterwards? You can't even give them a break. At this rate they start overwork themselves like Touma from Toaru.

Anyway good season, my AotS, yadda yadda. Can't wait for next season but I'm also in the mood for watching BSD Wan instead.

[declanlikesmusic]

Today's Listens: Episode 006

August 11th & 12th, 2023

I'm sure you might be aware that my last episode was a delayed bummer by the end of it, so I'm really just gonna start writing these episodes on the days once again to hope for a better outcome with them. My days without work are already over as soon as they began and because of work yesterday and a knockout bout of hayfever today, I'm gonna have to turn this into another double episode because I've hardly listened to enough on both days. Still though, let's have fun with these

We got some more content warnings on this one, albeit they're minor in comparison: Do watch out for a short but immediate mention of suicide as well as a reference to sk*nning that even I can barely tolerate most of the time.

ℍUM♥ℕIGHTM♥RE – 宇宙の認識 (2016)

Do pardon the unicode that comes packaged with this artist's name, but this is HUMANIGHTMARE, a once young & up-and-coming vaporwave producer who tragically lost to suicide in 2020. I caught ear of this particular album during a commemoration livestream on Vapor Memory and it allured me enough to want to seek out and check it out back then. I thought it was a very good album at the time and to this day, I still think the same way, though it leans very much into greatness at a good handful of points. This was a super meditative take on the growing slushwave sound of the time along with some hypnagogic drift tunes and I think the results should not go overlooked by fans of those genres. Tracks like the opener 宇宙の誕生 as well as 脳の網 are absolutely gorgeous, while the track that hooked me in the first place, 宇宙との関係、is so captivatingly strange to me in a way that I can only adore and fascinate about. If you're already deep into vaporwave, I highly recommend this one.

7.5 / 10

Highlights: 宇宙の誕生、宇宙の盛り、宇宙との関係、宇宙の夢、脳の網、復活

SURFING – Emotion (2019)

Up next on the trans agenda is the third and most recent album by vapor & chillwave duo SURFING. Their 2012 debut is one of the most iconic works of the genre and rightfully so, because it perfectly blends original instrumentation & singing with dense, hazy and deeply nostalgic vaporwave samples. So I have no idea what brought in them the need to forgo that entirely, as 2018's Incubo was still sample-based but nowhere near as dreamy and this one fully submerges into the stylings of chillwave & indie rock with none of what made them so excellent before. That said, with that expectation in mind, while this is still their least good album, it was at least better than what I was anticipating after the first couple of tracks. Visions is the song everybody turns to and for good reason, because it does bring a newfound energy to the band, but my favourite moments were still where they leaned back into their dreamy & hazy sonic roots. It's still a good album and if you're a fan of dream pop, I'd give it a shot. Just don't expect anything particularly dense.

6.9 / 10

Highlights: Visions, Crazy, Hearts, Enough, Give You Up.

Chat Pile – Remove Your **** Please (2019)

I'm going to say it now, this is among the worst EP titles I have ever read. I know that this band was deadset on making intensely dark & grim stories through noise rock & sludge metal, but if it wasn't for me keeping an open mind, I would've steered clear of this record entirely even despite the loving reception this got back then and even now. Which is a complete shame because I ended up enjoying this one more than any other Chat Pile record so far, even God's Country (which warrants a relisten at this point). I even found my current favourite Chat Pile song through this record in the form of Davis, weirdly enough. The drums just sounded much better on this record than I had previously heard, sounding way less blurrier and more burrowing, though that might just be attributed to my headphones being replaced months ago. Couple that with the noise, the energy, the vocals and especially Davis's melodies and despite the horrible name, I'd recommend this one to fans of dreadful rock music. I still don't love them as a band, but this gives me hope that whatever they cook next, I might be able to start clicking with them.

7.2 / 10

Highlights: Mask, Davis

netbooks.WRLD – loosies '19-22 (2022)

Speaking of EPs, I don't know how many y'all heard this up-and-coming talent named netbooks.WRLD? Dude's pretty local in the online vaporwave & electronic music communities and his discography is about as fresh as the next lemon you will ever buy, but real talk? I think he's by far one of the most promising artists to pay attention to! I was initially a dumb stupid dumb skeptic back when his debut album ENDLESS STAIRCASE popped up in 2021, but upon the last couple of months, revisiting that album, tuning in to his brand new single, checking out his Skylive performance and now coming over to this EP of loose cuts, I have fully turned into a believer! The dude makes some downright excellent post-industrial plunderphonics and vaporwave tunes all over his catalogue and I think I found some of my favourite tracks he's ever made through this EP. Sure, they were mostly featured in other places and that's counting the bonus tracks, but god, I've been hooked to them completely in the 24 hours since hearing this. My only sticking points against it are the volume of the high frequencies being a little too harsh for my personal headphones, but I know that's by design considering his aesthetic. Other than that, holy shit, go check out ENDLESS STAIRCASE and this EP at your earliest convenience.

8.3 / 10

Highlights: pipes song, shook shook, RAGDOLLS

Vįr+üål Åįrßñß – ▚ ▛ ▜ ▟ ▞ (2021)

It's the second day and one of the best discoveries I've made last year was this random but completely ethereal-looking and unpronouncable album by a young Virtual AirBnB and I thought to relisten to it for the morning. Spoiler alert: This might just be one of my favourite vaporwave albums. This record is compact, but it is so gorgeous and stunning! It flawlessly blends together elements of mallsoft, new age music, I believe sophisti-pop R&B vocal samples and just overall aesthetics of beauty, nature and the future. Almost every single cut here is downright heavenly. Listening to them all from front to back is one of the most soothing, relaxing, beautiful and often transcendent experience I've personally had with the genre and it's so criminal how overlooked this album is so far. High recommendation to the absolute heavens. Just put your headphones on and let the rivers drift you away.

9.3 / 10

Highlights: ⿴ ༄ ℣ ₪ ℣ ༄ ⿴, ••• ❒︎ ❒︎ ᵒ ᴼ ᵒ ▫ 𐊔 ▫, | ⟗ ☱ ☲ ☳ ☵ ⟗ |

サイバー '98 – RENDERED FANTASY

Saiba '98 is an enigma to me. I don't think, even in the vaporwave scene, this short-lived alias got any of the credit it honestly deserves. The music's not excellent, but for a vaportrap artist, this guy managed to craft some of the unique, jarring and abstract material in this form. Upon relistening to DIGITAL FOREST for instance, I found it absolutely fascinating in how the tempos are sporadic and unformed, the beat instrumentaion is basic and minimal and the backing ambient atmospheres are ghostly and dark. This culminates into his last album under the project, RENDERED FANTASY, and while I can't tell you in good conscious that I love it or that it's completely great, this is honestly the best release of the few still publicly available. More than any other album I've heard from them, this album is glitchier, darker, more ominous, eerie and experimental than ever before. I almost completely admire the way he was seeing through his vision on this one. If you're curious, I can't guarentee you'll love it, but if you're a fan of vaportrap or experimental music, I'd give it a fair shake.

7.3 / 10

Highlights: b e n z a i t e n , Love Translator (self care), Hospital Flower, Kingdom_$lave, Life is a Constant Double Helix

crt paralysis – "Slideshow" (2022)

I'm about neck deep with vaporwave again these past couple of days, so next I threw on this project that got me very curious. Known for making some great vaporwave & DnB as dotnds, CRT Paralysis is a broken transmission side-project of theirs that I'm not fully enamoured with but still greatly appreciative of, especially with their Winter Paralysis series of albums. This "Slideshow" caught my eye though as it looked to center completely around the nostalgia of 2000s office computers and Windows 95 styled corporatism. However, not exactly in the way that I viewed it as a child, which is a little disappointing, but I still found this to be a very good time. The presentation was what drove this home to me the most, it's pretty off-kilter, even for Bandcamp standards. If you're curious for some late 2000s vaporwave nostalgia in a format that I could see INTERNET CLUB doing back in the day, I'd recommend this one.

7.0 / 10

Highlights: "Newlife" 2008/04/02, "Screenshot" 2006/08/17, "Evening" 2008/07/03, "Email" 2008/07/04, "Lounge2" 2008/07/09

RAWINTHEVOID – Alphalord (2018)

How do I go about this one? This was the third album from a then very young RAWINTHEVOID. RAW is a talent in post-vaporwave & plunderphonics that I've been looking forward to seeing his growth for a few good years now. His two latest albums MD (Manifest Destiny) and NOTINTHEMOOD are especially great and, even with some very rough patches, they still shine in comparison to his very, very humble beginnings. I've been going through his catalogue backwards and it's fascinating to see how rudimentary & borderline regressive their sample-based works were back in the day. Even on Alphalord, currently my least favourite of theirs (but only barely behind Double Couple), I still found a wealth of fascinating ideas for its alphabet-long tracklist. For example, I would've never thought that speeding up a whole ass noise rock album down to less than six minutes in a song would've sounded any good. To spoil you, it doesn't sound good, but I'm glad someone tried it anyways. I don't recommend this one. If you're curious, go through his latest albums and his live sets, but don't go digging through the back catalogue. Trust me.

4.4 / 10

Highlights: c3, m13, o15, q17

VHS Head – Persistence of Vision (2014)

To close off this post, I went with the sophomore album from one of the most "Dude, how come you've never heard of this guy" artists in the realm of electronic music. VHS Head is a producer of IDM & Glitch Hop beats that are constantly punchy, sporadic and memorable, all thanks to his incredibly persistent sampling of found VHS tapes. He's growing a cult following overtime but it's not exactly helped by his sparse release schedule. This album came out less than five years after his first and he only thought to put out a followup just a few months ago. I can't wait to try that out, but I would shoot myself in the foot if I didn't go for this album first and I'm very glad that I did. I guess when I heard it, I was a little unenthusiastic in a way? But only the way that still made me love this album in the end, like my thought process was "Of course this album is great." The beats are still punchy, the constantly shifting sample flips are more memorable this time around, I think it's even better and more consistent than his debut! Highly recommend this one, with no doubt.

7.9 / 10

Highlights: Enter the Devil, Don't Look in the Closet, Camera Eyes, Red Ocean Apocalypse, Dead to Morrow, Frozen, Body Magic, Angels Never Sleep

Finally, another episode in the books! You'll notice I'm committing to these a little less and less, but I'm honestly not sure if I can keep doing these daily. I'll keep 'em up for as long as I like, but I think it's time to finally admit that I might skip days proper. I'll find a way to still make them work though, because no doubt, every day, I find something new that I want to talk about. Maybe I could make it more of a highlights thing than an outright journel, but we'll see how that shapes up. Until then, I'll see you next time!

[fangerine]

sharing thoughts on the last of us ep. 2 (spoilers ahead):

if last week’s episode was about establishing the characters and heart of the show, last night’s episode was about establishing the “game” mechanics of this world. and holy shit, were these mechanics just as brutal and inventive as the game, even with the changes made.

once again, this show is doing such a good job of taking what works in the game but wouldn’t work in this medium, and not just doing away with it but IMPROVING upon it. craig and neil are right: spores just wouldn’t work in this version of this world. from personal experience, i can also tell you that filming people in gas masks like that is kind of a pain. “bUt EvAnGeLiNe, WhAt AbOuT mAnDo???!!!”, you might say. and yeah, it’s not impossible to film people in masks, mando uses a helmet, not a clear gas mask that fogs up, and is much more uncomfortable than the mando helmet imo. it’s not about money and seeing actors faces (which is also money lol) as much as it’s about practicality and creating something realistic.

but let me tell you, craig, neil, and co. MAKE UP FOR IT. replacing spores (which is a great in-game mechanic, don’t get me wrong) with tendrils and this concept of the wood wide web is GENIUS, and TERRIFYING. in-game, spores work more as interesting locations because it’s much more plausible in a video game to have isolated locations like that. when you’re playing, you just rationalize that spores only exist in these dark, damp, places and can’t survive elsewhere. but when you’re dealing with live action television??? not so much, in my opinion.

what’s much more believable is that this infection is everywhere. it’s rooted in the ground. it makes you watch your step every second. at the beginning of the episode, i was intrigued as to why the camera was so focused on their feet, because the cameraman sure as hell wasn’t quentin tarantino. yeah, they’re walking but they’re gonna be walking the entire fucking show. that’s right, death stranding, the last of us walked so you could walk some more.

adding this aspect to the world is so much more scary than spores. the fact that you could wake up a hoard of infected m i l e s away because the tip of your foot slightly crunches a piece of the big ol’ cordycep pie. that was a bad joke, sorry.

but we must get to the elephant in the room: tess.

first off, can we get a moment of silence for a bad ass bitch???

...

okay, so i love that this show is taking the time and taking advantage of this medium to expand on her character. nothing about her time in the two episodes felt like filler. anna torv gave it her all knowing that this journey would not last long, and i love her for that. 

but i really want to talk about her death. we (people who played the game) all knew it was coming but i don’t think i expected it to be so utterly disturbing, which brings me to the tendrils.

they are literally the grossest fucking thing to ever grace my monitor screen, and i’ve pulled up the perverse family (fuck you, tiny meat gang and also, i am please begging you to not look it up...or do, i can’t tell you what to do). 

anyways, for tess’ last scene to be like THAT is really saying something. there’s something so haunting about how that clicker looked at her. how it slowly moved towards her, almost giving this “look” of recognition. this “look” of, “you’re one of us now.”. the “kiss” was a forceful invitation of sorts but tess, with every last inch of her humanity, denied that invitation by being the bad ass bitch she is, and blowing up the place.

poetic cinema, ya’ll. poetic. fucking. cinema. the world of tlou is characterized by the fact that humans are so willing to turn on each other. sarah wasn’t taken because she got infected. she got taken by the fear and selfishness of humanity. it’s a bleak picture but god, does naughty dog paint it with beautifully tragic strokes.

on the other side, though, we have the infected. although grotesque, horrific, and deathly, they are now operating under this hive mind. will they rip you to shreds? oh, definitely. but are they doing it together? absolutely. it just creates this really horrible but well-crafted idea that the enemy, is truly each other, and the infected are really just this scary obstacle. but maybe their togetherness will help humanity come together, once again, to create a more hopeful future.