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Chapter 2! It's finally out baby! Giovanni is so silly! I can't wait to write more of him! Also his relationship with Libb! THEY ARE SO WHOLESOME!! But Libb needs to have that talk with him when it comes to Valerie.
(Not implying that Valerie is a bad kid! Get that out of ur head alr?)
Anyway hope you guys enjoy the fic!
Okay it's fixed! Good to go now!
#TIBBLINGS FIC CHAPTER 2!#YAY!!!#Kid is next! and what i wanna say is gonna end up spoiling a big chunk of his chapter so ill keep my mouth shut#More is on the way#and i mapped it out as best as i could and uh....#this fic is gonna have a lot more chapters then i originally thought#the muppets#muppet ocs#Libb#Rose&Tibbs❤#Budd#Kid#should i add a second d to his name to keep the ball rolling?#sure!#kidd#dr teeth and the electric mayhem#art#myart#muppet oc
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Honey Girl. Chapter Six.
Chapter One. Chapter Two. Chapter Three. Chapter Four. Chapter Five. Chapter Seven. Chapter Eight. Chapter Nine. Chapter Ten. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.
Chapter Synopsis - You finally start to appreciate the happiness that having a soulmate brings.
Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au
Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol consumption. so much fluff.
Age Rating - 18+
Word Count - 5k
Author's Note - the sixth installment!! thank you to everyone who voted in my poll - I listened, and decided to make this chapter as sweet as pie, because I think we all need it. it's nice to have a little break from the angst. just a liiiiittle break though. a tiny one. as always, thank you for all of your love and support and enthusiasm and patience and kindness towards this story. so much love for every one of you. <3
as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3
Masterlist. Inbox.
"Are you happy?"
You stretch your feet further into the sand and sit up, wiggling to get comfortable on the picnic blanket.
"That's a big question to start with."
Stella laughs and closes her notebook, deciding to take a different route than originally planned.
"I just mean... be honest with me. I'm not gonna be offended if you say no."
"Do you think I'm gonna say no?"
"Do you always have to answer my questions with questions?"
You tilt your head and watch her, smiling softly.
"I thought this was supposed to be an employee performance review."
"You're not my employee and you know it."
Both of you laugh, the sound whipped away by the sea breeze.
"Then what am I, Stella?" you chuckle.
"You're basically my partner. Come on, we've done all of this together. You helped me build this business from the ground up - I couldn't have done it without you."
You go to protest, so she continues.
"I think you should be. My partner, that is. Obviously there's logistics to work out, but it'd be fifty fifty. You and I, co-owners. It doesn't feel right to me that you're my 'employee'. I'm not your boss. We're equals."
Your mind is running a mile a minute, trying to process what Stella's asking of you. Being her business partner is an opportunity you know is rare and incredibly special - and it could potentially set you up for life - but you can't help but think about the fact it's a big commitment. About home. About Bucky.
"You don't have to answer me right now - I just want you to think about it. We always talked about opening up businesses of our own. I should have asked you to be my partner at the beginning, but honestly... I didn't know if you were gonna stick around. It kinda felt like you had one foot out the door when we started."
You take a deep breath, nodding.
"Yeah. I, uh - I think I did. Don't get me wrong, I was super excited, but the idea of moving away when I felt like I'd just got home was a lot to process. I'd just settled back there, and then I was gonna be packing up all of my stuff again and shipping myself across the country. "
"I didn't realise it was so tough for you, you know. I just assumed you wouldn't mind moving. I mean, you were always up for it, back at school."
"Things changed, after I graduated. I got home, and a couple of things happened and I guess it just... turned everything upside down. Home is different now. In a good way, I think."
"You're different now, too."
You look at her carefully, half attempting to read her mind.
"How do you mean?"
"You're... more grounded. More careful. You think through everything way more than you ever did. Almost like you've realised you're not invincible anymore."
There's a feeling, when you're young, that you're indestructible. Unharmable. Broken bones mend, cuts and bruises heal, hearts and minds forget about their aches if you give them long enough.
Then one day, that feeling is gone. And you realise that you're mortal - made of flesh and blood and bones that will one day be returned to the Earth, whether you like it or not.
Meeting your soulmate is like having that realisation again, but bigger. Again, and again, and again. You don't live for yourself, anymore. You live for them. The pain they'd feel if they lost you is unfathomable, completely unimaginable.
So you become more careful. Less reckless. You drive a little slower, take things a little easier, quit your dangerous hobbies and unhealthy habits. You need to be alive for as long as possible. And you know your soulmate will do the same.
That's how you can tell a Tethered person from an Untethered one. Ask two people to go skydiving with you, and the Tethered one will tell you no. They can't risk it. It's not worth it.
Stella's right. You have realised you're not invincible anymore. You're a little more cautious when you climb ladders, you don't balance precariously on the kitchen counters anymore. You look twice when you cross the street, and don't risk it if there's a car coming and you could maybe get across.
You're also painfully aware that Bucky's older than you. He'll be turning forty in less than two years. Sure, he's not ancient, but it does mean you'll have less time together than Lacie will with Cameron, for example. And that hard truth makes you live a little less recklessly, every single day.
"I guess I just... grew up."
You're honestly not sure why you don't just tell Stella about Bucky. You know she'd understand. But there's a part of you that feels protective over what you have - territorial, even. Your Tethering is sacred, almost, and you feel the primal urge to guard it with your life. To lock it in a box and keep it away from anything that could harm it. The less people that know, the less damage that can be done. Maybe.
"I did too. The world is kinda scary now we're not in that little culinary school bubble, huh?"
"Yeah," you laugh. "We thought that was hard. Little did we know."
"Take your time, thinking about my offer. But just know that I really, really appreciate the fact that you're here. That you believed in me enough to move across the country. It means a lot."
"Of course," you say, reaching across to grab her hand. "I always believed in you, Stella. I always knew you'd do something great."
"We'd."
"Hmm?"
"We'd do something great. The two of us. Together."
"I always knew that we'd do something great," you correct.
You're starting to believe that, as time goes on. You were born to do this. You deserve to live your dreams.
Let the happiness seep through, you'd told yourself.
It finally feels like it is.
✵ ✵ · ✵ * · ✵
"There's a guy here to see you."
Isabel pops her head around the door, grinning at you like she knows something you don't.
"Again?"
She nods, giggling.
"Let me guess... he's hot, tall, brown hair?"
"Bingo."
"Thanks, Isa. I'll be right out. Is it busy out there?"
"It's quieter than it was. There was a pastry rush this morning, but we're good now."
You laugh and hang up your apron, washing your hands quickly before making your way to the café.
You feel like you're having déjà vu, this situation oddly familiar.
Just like Isa said, he's stood waiting with his back to you, broad shoulders filling out his powder blue short sleeve button up.
You're excited to see Rafael again. You've been trying a new cookie recipe for his sister, and you're eager to get him to try it. You're mentally making a note to buy a nice box to put them in when you feel it.
The lights get a little brighter, the colours a little more vibrant. The tightness in your chest eases, allowing you to take a full, deep breath. You can suddenly hear the birds outside singing, melodies drifting through the open doors like a summer breeze.
The man turns around, and it's not Rafael.
It's Bucky.
You're moving before you can even process it, running and jumping into his arms. You inhale, revelling in his familiar scent. He's here. Your happiness has arrived.
"Surprise," he laughs quietly into your ear. "Miss me, honey girl?"
You beam a grin at him, pulling away to look at his handsome face.
"More than you'll ever know."
"Oh, I know. I feel it."
He places a hand over his heart gently, looking at you with pure adoration.
"What are you doing here?"
"It's been a month since your Mom's birthday. A month since I've seen your pretty face. A month too long."
You roll your eyes jokingly, so he continues.
"You don't mind that I'm here, do you? Because I'll go, if it's too much for you. I know me showing up unannounced is a lot to process."
"Don't go," you reply quickly, grabbing his hand. "I want you here, Buck. More than anything."
He leans in and presses his lips to yours, cradling your face in his warm hands. The background of the café melts away, the man in front of you the only thing that matters.
You pull away and smile at him, pressing your forehead into his gently.
"Come back to the kitchen with me. Let's get away from all the noise."
You grab his hand and pull him with you, ignoring the excited giggling from Isabel behind the counter.
Bucky perches against a counter, leaning back to allow you to stand in between his legs. You wrap your arms around his neck and peck his lips, stealing kisses in between giddy smiles.
"I hope you weren't expecting a day full of super exciting adventures. I've got a list full of stuff I've got to get finished by closing."
"Honey, I'm more than content to stay here and watch you work. There's nothing I love more than watching you bake."
You run your fingertips over his face carefully, gently tracing his features as you look at him.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. I don't care what we do, as long as we're together."
You wrap your arms around his middle, holding him as tightly as you can.
"I feel like I hit the soulmate jackpot," you whisper.
"No one's as lucky as I am," he whispers back. "Now, come on. Let me see you work your magic."
✵ ✵ · ✵ * · ✵
Bucky, it turns out, makes a damn good assistant.
Instead of just watching, he volunteers to help in whatever way he can. You set him onto weighing your ingredients, so you can focus on making and decorating. He takes his job very seriously, measuring down to the precise gram each time. You can't help but grin as you watch him concentrate, determined to get it right.
At lunch time, Isabel brings you both coffee and sandwiches, entering just as you're teaching Bucky how to properly fold in ingredients.
"Sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"You could never. Isa, this is Bucky. Buck, this is Isabel. Our best waitress."
He holds out his floury hand for her to shake.
"It's nice to meet you, Isabel. I've heard a lot about you."
"You have?"
Her eyes light up as she looks at you, fighting the smile off her face.
"My honey talks about you all the time."
Isabel glances between the two of you, clearly trying to figure things out.
"And you two are..."
"Soulmates," you say at the same time as Bucky does.
Her jaw drops for a moment, before she laughs.
"Yeah. That makes a lot of sense, actually."
You roll your eyes at her lovingly before Stella's voice calls her name from out front.
"I better go. But me and you are gonna talk about this later."
"Fine," you laugh.
"Nice to meet you!" Bucky shouts after her, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I like that we're just telling people now."
"Yeah, me too, actually. I thought it'd be scary, but... it feels right."
He slings an arm around your middle, pulling you into his side.
"We've still got the two most important people left to tell."
Your muscles tense and Bucky feels it instantly, running his thumb in patterns over your hip gently.
"I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm almost ready, Buck. We can't avoid it forever. Next time I'm home, I think we should do it. We should tell them."
Bucky hooks two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him.
"Are you sure? Once we tell them, we can't undo it. We'll only do it if you're one hundred percent sure."
"I'll be ready when the time comes. It'll be a huge weight off of both of our shoulders, which I think we both need."
"Okay then," he says, kissing your forehead. "Next time you're home."
Isabel clears her throat from the doorway, smiling sheepishly.
"I can't believe I'm saying this again, but... there's a guy here to see you."
You laugh, untangling yourself from Bucky with a kiss to his cheek.
"Send him through. Thanks, Isa."
The man you were originally expecting to see this morning walks into the kitchen, envelopes in his hand.
"Hey!"
"Hey, Rafael."
He gives you a quick hug, before waving at Bucky.
"Hey, man. You've gotta be the soulmate, right?"
Bucky chuckles, coming over to shake Raf's hand.
"Yeah, that's me. How'd you know?"
"Are you kidding? You can feel it the minute you walk into the room. There's like, electricity in here."
You laugh, hiking yourself up to sit on the counter. Bucky stands next to you, arms crossed over his broad chest.
"Here," Rafael says, handing you an envelope. "We're having a gala next month, for the charity that has supported my sister. We'd love it if you could come - and bring your date too, of course."
"I'd love to," you say as you read the invitation. "Do you need me to bring anything? You know I'll happily make something, if you guys need it."
"You would?"
"Absolutely! I could bring a cake, if you like? I haven't done a proper, three tiered cake in forever. I'd love to."
"That'd be... amazing. Seriously. We just want to raise as much money as possible."
"Of course. Thanks for these, Raf. How is she?"
"She's okay. She's getting a tiny bit stronger every day, and that's all we can really ask for."
You reach a hand out to squeeze his in support.
"You know where I am if you need anything."
"Of course. Thank you, so much. I've gotta run - I've got like a hundred of these invites to deliver. But I'll see you at the weekend?"
"For sure. See you, Raf!"
"Nice to meet you, Bucky."
"You too, man. Take care."
Isa shows Rafael out of the door, winking at you on her way out.
"Damn, he's handsome," Bucky laughs.
"Isn't he?" you giggle. "Nothing on my soulmate though, I'm afraid."
"Shut up," he blushes, leaning in to capture your lips. "You wanna get dinner when you're done here?"
"Yes, please. I'll show you around my new apartment too."
"Can't wait."
There's not an ounce of tension in your muscles as you finish up your bakes for the day, gliding around the kitchen while Bucky stands and watches your every move.
If you could pause time, this would be when you'd do it. You'd be content to live in this moment forever.
✵ ✵ · ✵ * · ✵
The minute Bucky walks through your front door, he inhales deeply. The entire place smells like you, cosy and golden.
"You like it?"
"It's gorgeous, baby. I love the windows."
He makes his way over to your kitchen, where the glass panes run from floor to ceiling. Sitting on the bench pressed against it, he takes in the view, savouring the feeling of the sun on his face.
You sit down on his lap, draping your legs over him and wrapping your arms around his neck. Nuzzling your face into his jaw, you press a kiss to the stubble, resisting the urge to lick the salt off of his skin.
"Come on," you murmur. "Let me show you my bedroom. The sun sets in that direction, so it's always beautiful in there."
You grab his hand and walk him across the apartment, swinging open the door to your room and pushing him inside.
He takes in the space for a moment before turning in your direction, striding over to smash his lips to yours. You tangle your fingers into his shirt and pull him closer, letting him slip his tongue into your mouth with ease.
Bucky leans in to trail kisses down your neck as he slips your shirt over your head, making quick work of unclasping your bra with skilled fingers. He grasps your chest in both hands, massaging gently as he nips at your throat.
"So fucking pretty," he murmurs. "Haven't stopped thinking about you since you left me."
You whine and unbutton his shirt, shrugging it off his shoulders. You're desperate to see more, desperate to feel his skin on yours, desperate to bare every inch of him.
Your fingers make deft work of his belt, sliding it from its loops and throwing it to the ground. You unpop his button and slide down the zipper, pulling his jeans off his legs in no time. You shimmy out of your skirt, leaving you both in your underwear.
The evening sun seeps through the window panes, illuminating the room in hues of orange and gold. The light hits Bucky's skin, making him glow in a halo of love and adoration.
He walks you backwards, wrapping an arm around your back to throw you onto the white sheets of your bed. Crawling over you, he settles in between your legs, pressing gentle kisses from your ankles to your inner thighs.
"The way you look when you come has been burned in my mind," he whispers. "Need to see it again. It's been too long."
He slides your underwear down your legs and wastes no time, diving into you like a man starved. He devours you, tongue never ceasing it's movements. His hands pry your thighs apart, one arm thrown over your stomach to keep you still. When your muscles start to shake, Bucky doubles down on his efforts, lapping and sucking at you like you're his lifesource.
"Oh, Buck, I'm-"
You see stars as you come, white and silver shapes flying through your vision. Bucky never stops, prolonging your release for as long as he can. When you go boneless, he ceases, pressing kisses to the inside of your knee.
"You okay?" he murmurs, moving so his body smothers yours.
"I'm good," you smile, leaning up to kiss him. You groan when you taste yourself, wrapping your legs around his waist.
"Need you, baby. Please, Buck."
"You sure?"
You smile at him, cradling his face in your hands.
"Couldn't be surer."
He dips down to lick into your mouth once more, shucking his boxers off and throwing them across the room. Slipping a condom on, he lines himself up, eyes meeting yours.
"I need you more than I need air to breathe," he murmurs. "You know that, don't you?"
"Buck," you breathe. "I've been going crazy here without you."
He goes to speak, but stops himself, instead leaning down to kiss your forehead.
"I know," you whisper. "I know."
Bucky slides home in one smooth thrust, both of you gasping. One of his hands finds your hip, the other resting against your throat as an anchor. You wrap your legs around his waist, arms snaking around his shoulders.
"Fuck me, please."
"Fuck," he groans. "I'll be replaying that in my head forever."
You chuckle breathlessly, gasping when he draws his hips back and forward again. He sets an even pace - not too fast, not too slow. He has you right where he wants you, both of your bodies in perfect synchronisity. It feels like the stars have aligned. Everything's fallen into place.
Bucky dances his fingers from your hip to your clit, rubbing firm circles. He plays you like a violin, your muscles tensing as you get closer.
"That's it, pretty girl. Fuck, you're so good for me. You close, honey? Gonna come for me again?"
You nod frantically as he picks up his pace, hips colliding with yours. He groans as you tighten around him, head dropping to rest against yours.
"Come for me, honey girl," he whispers. "Please."
Your back arches as you find your release, nails scratching at the skin of Bucky's back. The pain tips him over the edge, spilling inside of you with a deep groan. He collapses on top of you, both of your chests heaving.
"I think we're naturals at that," you chuckle hoarsely.
"You think it's the soulmate thing, or are we just that good?"
"I think we're just that good," you laugh, pushing him off your body so he lands next to you. You link your fingers with his, resting your head on his chest.
"I need a drink."
"I was just thinking that, actually. You wanna go out? Know anywhere?"
"There's a cute little bar that looks out over the cove - it has good food and good cocktails. You wanna go there?"
"I'd go anywhere with you," he affirms, pressing a kiss into your hair.
"I'd kill for a pineapple margarita right now."
Bucky sits up suddenly, bringing you with him, arms wrapped around you.
"Then let's go get my girl a pineapple margarita."
✵ ✵ · ✵ * · ✵
The golden lights adorn the beams of wood above your head, the deck illuminated in the gentle glow. The ocean waves break the shore in a comfortingly repetitive motion, a calming soundtrack to the evening. You sit across from Bucky at your table for two, the sunset casting orange hues across the horizon.
"It's beautiful out here."
"Yeah," you agree, smiling. "The view is pretty good."
Your eyes haven't left his, lost in the sea blue of his irises. He chuckles, running his thumb over the back of your hand where it rests atop the table.
"This is our first date, you know."
"Really?"
"I mean, we've been 'dating' this whole time - but we've never gone out and had dinner like this. Held hands and all."
"You're right. Our first date of many, huh?"
"Our first of countless," he grins, brushing his lips over your knuckles in a gentle kiss.
"Where do my parents think you are?"
"Visiting a cousin in Nevada."
You laugh, and the sound makes Bucky light up, electricity running through his veins.
"You're a scarily good liar."
"To everyone but you."
"I used to think I was a good liar. Until I met you, that is."
Just as he's about to respond, your waitress appears, two pineapple margaritas in hand. She takes your orders and leaves, smiling at you.
"Oh, shit. She forgot to give us straws. I'm gonna grab some - be right back."
You chase her inside, tapping her shoulder gently.
"Excuse me - could I get a couple of straws, please?"
"Of course. Sorry!" she apologises, handing them to you.
"Thank you! Your shirt is so cute, by the way."
"Thanks - it's thrifted! You're gorgeous, girl. And your boyfriend is stupidly hot too. You're a pretty couple."
You thank her and laugh, returning to Bucky with a grin on your face.
"What's got you smiling?"
"The waitress called you my boyfriend."
"Huh. As much as I love the commitment... boyfriend kinda sounds like we're in ninth grade, doesn't it?"
You throw your head back, laughing with your entire being.
"That's what I thought. There's gotta be a better word. Partner? No, that makes us sound forty."
"I am almost forty."
"Oops."
Bucky rolls his eyes, but he can't wipe the blinding grin from his face. He takes out his phone and snaps a quick picture of you, admiring the way the breeze caresses your face as the setting sun beats down.
"Sneaky," you tease. "Let me see?"
He hands you the phone, letting you look through. You swipe right one too many times, and accidentally land on a picture of a blueprint laid out across a kitchen counter. His kitchen counter.
"Babe... what's this?"
You don't miss the way Bucky's cheeks heat up, blush creeping across his chest that's exposed by the V neckline of his blue button up. He stutters for a moment, before finding his footing.
"They're blueprints. Plans for a house."
"A house?"
"I want to build a house."
When you keep looking at him softly, he doubles down.
"I want to build a house for us."
Your breath hitches in your chest, the world going silent momentarily.
"You... you do?"
"My Dad worked in construction my entire childhood. I watched him build houses, apartment buildings, bungalows... everything. I've always wanted to do it, but never had reason to. Until now."
You squeeze his hand, urging him to continue.
"I've been planning it for upwards of ten years. But I'm taking it more seriously, now. Those blueprints are the final ones. It's all mapped out, down to the square inch. I've made some modifications for you, obviously."
He zooms in on the picture, pointing out areas on the plans.
"I've added a big island in the kitchen with a tonne of storage in it, for all of your supplies. I know you have that huge mixer, so I've made sure there's enough space for it to fit underneath with the doors closed."
You take a deep breath, lump in your throat forming unwillingly.
"Up here, there's a window at the top of the stairs. I've added a sketch of a bench which I'll upholster, so you can sit and read in the sunlight."
Tangling your legs with his under the table, you urge him to continue.
"I've also made sure there's a balcony off the master bedroom that overlooks the garden. I know how much you love sitting on yours in your apartment at home. There's probably like a hundred more little modifications for you, but those are just a few."
Tears are running down your cheeks freely, emotion escaping you like a flash flood.
"Bucky..."
"If it's too much too soon, please tell me. I won't be offended, baby. I know it's a lot."
"It's perfect."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
You jump up from your seat and around the table, throwing yourself into his lap to kiss him happily.
"I can't wait to build a house with you, Buck."
He grins at you, joy radiating off him in waves.
"Buck?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
He blinks back tears for a second, processing the words he's been waiting to hear for what feels like an eternity.
"I love you too, honey girl. My pretty baby."
He leans in to kiss you tenderly, the rest of the world melting away. It feels like it's just the two of you, floating on cloud nine.
Suddenly, you get it. You understand why people say this is the greatest thing that'll ever happen.
It is. They were right all along.
✵ ✵ · ✵ * · ✵
After several pineapple flavoured cocktails and a taco or four, you and Bucky take a slow stroll home, hand in hand along the sidewalk.
"You wanna have a sleepover tonight?" you ask, digging your heels into the ground to stop yourself from skipping with glee.
"Can't think of anything I want more," he chuckles.
You walk a little while longer, content to bask in the comfortable silence.
"Guess what happened a few days ago."
"What, honey?"
"Stella asked me to be her business partner."
He stops where he is, turning to face you but never letting go of your hand.
"Wait, really?"
"Mhmmm."
"And how do you feel about that?"
"I was unsure, at first. But I'm going to do it. I've been thinking about this for a while, actually. We had to take a business class in culinary school, and I actually learned a lot. I've had a business plan for the future of the café drafted up for months. Numbers, locations, investors, everything. I'm really serious about this, you know."
He's gazing at you like you hung the moon, eyes bright and adoring.
You sit down on a bench, looking out over the coastal path. Bucky joins you, arm heavy over your shoulders.
"I can't stay here."
His head whips around.
"Baby..."
"I mean it, Buck. I like this city, I do, but I just can't settle. It feels like a placeholder until I can go home. And it's not fair to Stella, if it feels like I'm half in half out."
He goes to speak, but you're on a roll.
"I'm suggesting that we franchise the business. It's the logical next step anyway, it was just a matter of choosing the right location. I'm proposing somewhere a hell of a lot closer to home. To you. To my parents. And that means we'll have one branch on the east coast, and one on the west. We can start filling the middle, in the future."
"Are you... are you sure?"
"I've never been surer of anything, James Buchanan Barnes. I wanna start my life with you. Telling my parents, building a house, furthering my career. I'm ready, now."
Bucky grabs your face in his warm hands, kissing you with more passion than you ever thought possible. It's all the answer you need.
"I want you to read over my plan, when we get back to my place. But it's tight, Buck. I've been perfecting it for months. There's no way Stella can say no - I've made it so she won't want to. Besides, she just wants me to be happy. And this... this will make me happy. Happy beyond words."
Bucky stands up, wrapping his arms around your middle to bring you with him. He spins you around, laughing when you squeal in surprise.
"I'm so proud of you, honey baby. I love you so much."
"I love you," you grin. "More than I ever thought possible."
Bucky practically carries you home, both of you giddy on excitement and hope.
You wake up tangled in his arms, sunlight beaming down onto your skin through the open window. Happiness, you think. It's finally here.
Happiness. It's finally here.
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all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me [Logan/Reader]
Summary: Sequel to won't somebody come take me home? and closer to where I started. Now that you've decided to put the past behind you, you're focused solely on what the future holds for you, Logan, and your family. Whether that means teaming up with the X-Men to help stop the escalated attacks around the city or sitting down for a nice dinner with Logan, Laura, and Wade, you're ready for all of it. You're so close to being completely happy until you find yourself a victim of one of the attacks and find out that someone from Logan's universe has managed to return. You never expected your new life to be easy, but you certainly never thought Logan's wife would show up and disrupt everything you had built for yourself. Word Count: 9k Author's Note: This chapter may contain: Angst, Reader Whump, Surprise Cameos, Angst, A New Villain, A Disrupted Villain Origin Story, Training Montages, Angst, A Smidge of Hope, Illusions, and…Angst. (but I swear the angst gets resolved. y'all have to trust me!! there will be a happy ending for this fic.)
When I'm With You I'm Home 'verse
won't somebody come take me home? // closer to where I started
Read on AO3
If anyone had told you while you were stuck in the Void that there was a future where you found yourself in another universe and your greatest wish had come true, then you would have chalked it up to a pipe dream and left it at that. If anyone had told you there was a future where your worst nightmare had come true, well then, that would've been easier to believe.
"What are you making?" Laura asked, peering over your shoulder to get a look at the stove.
"Something special," you told her, winking at her when she let out an impatient huff. "Steak and pasta," you clarified, turning your attention back to where you were spooning sauce over the steaks, hoping the flavor carried through for you.
After getting back from your original universe, you had felt like the weight of the past had been lifted off your shoulders. You didn't give a fuck about your original Logan and as far as you were concerned, he could fuck off into whatever happy existence he wanted with Jean. Did you want them to suffer? Maybe. But it was no longer a requirement for you to heal.
Your Logan had made sure of that.
Now, weeks had passed, and you felt like a new person. Gone was the obsession with the past and in its place was now your excitement for the future.
Your future with Logan and Laura and even Wade. Your future with a new family and a new team. Life hadn’t given you a moment of rest, but you were happy to know that when your back was against the wall, you had people ready to jump in and protect you from whatever hit came your way.
All of you had spent the last couple of weeks wrapped up in the escalated attacks happening throughout the city. There weren't many indicators about who exactly was causing them. Half the time, there were explosions and other times it was just an outright slaughter.
Logan and Wade were out trying to help the X-Men clean up the latest catastrophe. You had opted to stay home with Laura, taking a moment of well-deserved rest from running from one tragedy to the next. Logan had left you with a promise to return that evening and a kiss that hinted at more later.
You thought it was cute how Logan kept insisting he was retired, but the first sign of trouble, and he couldn't help but jump right in. It was why you loved him, because even though he had spent years spiraling after the devastation he faced with his old life, he still couldn't help but try to make things better for others.
You liked to think you had a little something to do with that.
Even though you were just within reach from a perfect existence, you knew it still wasn't without its problems. You and Logan still had a lot of work to do. Both of you were still holding things close to the chest, afraid to show them and lose everything you had earned.
Sometimes, you caught Logan simply watching you, wary and concerned, as if he thought you were about to leave him. Other times, when Logan woke in the middle of the night and reached for you, you wondered if he knew it was you or if he still held onto the memory of his wife, seeking her for comfort. Logan had been open and honest with you, but you sometimes got the feeling that he wasn't telling you everything. Some nights, when you couldn't sleep, you would lie awake and watch him, terrified that if given the chance he would leave you in a heartbeat for his old life.
You always had the feeling like the other shoe was about to drop, so you had taken on the mentality that you were going to enjoy every day you got with him. Which was why you were hellbent on making the perfect dinner and having the perfect dessert all ready to go when he got back home.
"Shit," you hissed when you started stirring together the ingredients for the pasta sauce. "I forgot one thing," you groaned, glancing over at Laura. "I've got to go out to grab something. Will you keep an eye on this for me? Just make sure it doesn't burn," you instructed her when Laura gifted you with a skeptical look.
"What if it burns?" Laura wondered, reaching out to take the spoon from you when you handed it to her.
"Then we'll order takeout," you answered with a shrug of your shoulders. "It won't be a big deal, but I still want to try to get this right," you told her, reaching out to flick her ear.
Laura turned a glare on you, and you knew if you were anyone else, she would have already brought out her claws. You saw a fond smile take the place of her scowl before she shook her head. "Hurry," she urged you, turning a wary look at the stove.
"Ten minutes," you promised, reaching out to grab your keys and wallet. "Just going down to the corner store." You saw Laura open her mouth and you knew what she was going to ask. "Yes, I'll get the cookies," you told her, thinking of the chocolate monstrosities she was so obsessed with lately.
Laura grinned at you, pleased, and cautiously began to stir the sauce.
You locked the apartment door behind you. You knew Laura was more than capable of taking care of herself and she had already been through hell and back, but you couldn't help but want to protect her in every way you could. She was still a kid, even if she would point out she was seventeen.
You made it to the tiny market just around the corner from your apartment within four minutes. You were eager to get back and finish dinner. You couldn't wait to see the look on Logan's face when you had dinner all set up and told him that Laura even helped make it. You knew Wade would invite himself to dinner, so you would of course have extra just for him. You knew you wouldn’t be here without him, and while he drove you crazy, you now couldn’t imagine your life without him in it.
You were a family, fucked up and weird, but full of love.
You grabbed the cookies Laura wanted and searched for a can of black olives. You caught sight of the spices and started in that direction to see if there was anything extra you wanted to add to the sauce. You figured you had maybe five minutes to get back before Laura insisted she did everything she could to salvage dinner, but maybe you should just order pizza.
You were reaching out to grab a bottle of parsley flakes when you noticed something pass right in front of you. You startled at the sight of the playing card, faintly glowing pink, as it sailed towards the shelves in front of you.
You didn't even have time to prepare before the card landed and the shelves exploded. You brought your arms up, trying to shield your face from the shrapnel. The force of the blast was strong enough to throw you back into the shelves behind you. You felt your head connect with the edge of one the shelves and stars exploded in your vision.
There was a ringing in your ears and the taste of blood in your mouth. Your head felt like it was spinning as you struggled to open your eyes, not even sure when you had closed them.
You could hear footsteps approaching you and you managed to squint up at the person standing in front of you. Your gaze drifted from his boots to his trench coat and then up to his eyes. They were glowing a faint red.
"Remy?" You groaned, reaching up to press a hand to your forehead. You blinked a couple of times, trying to make sense of what was going on. You looked at your fingers and they were stained red, blood coating them. Your face was stinging from the bits of shrapnel you hadn’t been able to shield yourself from and the back of your head was aching in a way you had never felt before.
Remy crouched down in front of you. He reached out and tucked his fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him. "Now, I know we've never met before, so how is it you know my name?" He turned your head one way and then the other, considering you for a brief moment, before he made a thoughtful noise. "Oh, but believe me, we're going to get to know each other real well, bon ami. Just you wait." His eyes were no longer glowing, but there was a devious look in them you didn't like.
You attempted to sit up, but your vision swam and you felt like you were going to throw up. “What the hell are you doing?” You attempted to ask, but your words were slurred, and you were having a hard time concentrating on him even though he was right in front of you.
"Let's get you home, hm?" Remy said, gathering you up in his arms. He stood, lifting you with him, and you tried to wriggle out of his hold, but he was clutching you tightly enough that you couldn’t move.
The last thing you saw was the underside Remy's jaw and the blur of the ceiling tiles above you before darkness swept in to collect you.
You woke to sunlight that had escaped past the curtains in your bedroom and crept right towards you. It was an unwelcome intrusion and you brought your hand up to shield your eyes.
You groaned, forcing yourself to sit up, before squinting at your surroundings. Your head was aching, each pound of your heart sending a bolt of pain right behind your eyes. You didn’t remember drinking the night before or even crawling into bed, but it felt like the worst hangover you had ever experienced.
"Fuck," you grumbled before forcing yourself out of bed. Logan seemed to already be up, and you wondered if he had liked your dinner the night before. There was something wrong, something off, but you didn't know what it was yet. You were having trouble thinking past the pain.
You walked towards your bedroom door, intent on hunting down the bottle of painkillers you kept in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. You tried to think about what happened before you fell asleep and finally your memories came back to you in a dizzying rush.
Making dinner, leaving Laura in charge, and locking the door behind you. Going to the store, a playing card that ending in an explosion, and Remy promising to take you home.
"I had the weirdest dream," you muttered as you stumbled out into the living room. The pain in your head spiked with every footstep and your mouth was so dry your tongue felt like it was sticking to the roof of your mouth.
The first thing you noticed was that Logan was sitting at the kitchen table and the second was that he wasn't alone. You froze just a few feet away from the table trying to make sense of what was in front of you.
Because Logan was there in his usual seat at the table and he had his hand outstretched over the surface. His hand was clutching the stranger's like a lifeline and he looked as if the person in front of him had just saved him from his own personal torment.
You slowly rounded the table, a twisting feeling of dread in your gut, as you got a look at the stranger.
It was you.
Well, not you. She had a scar crossing one of her eyes and her hair was a different color. She carried herself with more confidence, her shoulders not slumped and head held high. She was wearing the same yellow and blue X-Men suit you first saw your Logan in when you were trapped in the Void.
But she was still undeniably you. Just a variant you could have been in another universe.
"What?" You felt helpless as you looked to her and then to Logan. Pain had been overtaken by confusion and now you felt like you were going to pass out for an entirely different reason. "What's going on?"
"My wife," Logan said, finally tearing his gaze away from her to look at you. "She's back. A portal opened up last night and she walked right through it." His voice was filled with incredulous awe, and it felt like there was a knife digging into your chest. Your breath hitched and you tried to push past the feeling being carved out right where your heart resided.
You didn't think it could get any worse until you noticed the look of pure love and adoration he gifted her. You had only ever seen that look aimed at you and seeing it given so freely to someone else had you clenching your fists at your sides, anger washing over you.
"So, what?" You snapped, trying and failing to keep the hurt out of your tone. "She's just going to live here now? We'll all be one big happy family?" You didn't want to fight anyone for Logan's attention. Not again. Not after what happened with Jean in your other universe. You couldn't lose again. You wouldn't.
Logan stared up at you before he finally looked back at his wife. "We're still married," he pointed out, brushing his thumb gently over the wedding ring on his wife's hand. "And she was my first love," he continued, twisting the knife deeper and deeper. "I'm sorry, but I can't leave her again."
You watched the couple in front of you, frozen in that moment. Hurt and indecision rose within you and you felt trapped.
"So, what does that mean for me?" Your voice sounded so small and scared that you almost didn't believe it was yours. You had never felt this way with your Logan before and you didn't know what to do.
Logan finally tore his gaze away from his wife to look at you again.
"I'm sorry, but now that I have her back...," he trailed off, letting you assume the rest for yourself. "You can stay until you find somewhere else to go," he offered, as if it was any consolation.
You let out a hollow little laugh as you took a step away from him. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Logan, after everything you had been through together, was giving you up as if you meant nothing to him. The same ache and loneliness you felt back in your original universe was descending on you again. You thought you had put those feelings behind you, but now you were having to confront them again in the worst way.
Because this Logan had loved you like the other one never had and this one had promised never to hurt you. But here he was, crushing any hope you had that this Logan would be different.
You forced yourself to turn around, putting your back to them. You couldn't stand to look at them anymore.
You were faced with Laura standing there in the doorway of the apartment. She was silent, watching you, and you had a sinking feeling in your gut that told you this wouldn't go your way either.
"Laura, I--," you started as you approached her, not even sure where you would end up. "Do you want to come with me?" Was what you settled on, because evidently you couldn't stay here. You had been through so much with Laura. You had survived the Void together and fought together just to survive. Surely, that had to mean something to her. ‘Don’t leave me all alone,’ was what you wanted to beg, but you didn’t want Logan to have the satisfaction of seeing you brought down to your lowest point.
Laura took a few steps forward and you wondered if she would meet you in the middle. Instead, she walked past you and stood at the table, joining Logan and his wife. "I can't lose him again," Laura said, echoing your thoughts. Except, Laura could stay and you had to go.
You saw Logan's wife, the other you, the one he was choosing over you, reach out to flick Laura's ear. Instead of snapping at her, Laura turned a fond, soft smile on the other you and you felt another piece of your heart break.
That was your thing with Laura and that should have been your smile. Logan's wife had swept in and cleared you out, leaving no room for you.
You could feel the fight or flight instinct rising within you and you chose to get the hell out of there. It wasn't your home anymore, because someone had filled your role. You were no longer needed.
You didn't even know where you were going to go, but you somehow found yourself right at Wade's doorstep. You brought your hand up to knock, terror and despair coursing through you.
Wade answered the door in a suit and tie. You would have asked him what the hell was going on, but he didn't give you a chance to talk. He leaned on the doorframe, considering you with a grimace. "I thought you'd show up here after you found out."
"You know?" You weren't sure why it felt like such a betrayal, but you always thought Wade would have had your back. Why didn't he track you down and warn you? Why had no one just given you some kind of heads up that you would be completely ousted from the life you had built for yourself with Logan?
"Sure do, baby bird," Wade confirmed with a quick nod of his head. There was something off in his tone. This didn't feel like the same Wade you had come to know and reluctantly love. This almost felt like a stranger wearing a Wade mask. "I was there when she showed up. Just walked right out of that portal and into Logan's arms like she hasn't been dead for the past who knows how long."
You hated that you could picture that perfectly, as if Wade's memory was playing out in your head.
"Yeah, well, it looks like I'm not needed anymore now that he has who he really wants." You felt like an idiot for ever thinking you were more than just a placeholder for Logan's wife. You didn't want to cry in front of Wade, but you could feel the sting of tears in your eyes.
Wade tilted his head to the side, watching you with an intensity that was almost unnerving. "So, what are you gonna do now?"
"Can I stay here?" You tried, knowing that you couldn't go back to your apartment. You didn't want to ever step foot in there again, knowing that the bright, happy memories you had created were now tainted with misery.
Wade brought his foot back, kicking the door to his apartment open enough for you to see Vanessa seated at the table. "No can do," Wade answered with a wince. "You see, I'm trying to win her back over and I'm already sharing a one bedroom apartment with Blind Al, so it's a little cramped around here. But hey, if you join the X-Men, it usually comes with free room and board. They'll take anyone," he got out on a laugh, before he waved his hand. "Well, except for me. You shoot one person," he lamented, shaking his head in disappointment. "Or, hey, I hear Love Island is casting. Might be time to find you a new boo."
"So," you started, trying to reconcile the fact that you no longer had a home with Logan and now you couldn't find one either with Wade. "I can't stay here," you said, and it was no longer a question, it was just a fact of your new lonely, pathetic existence.
There was something so off about everything that had happened that day and you were trying to make sense of all of it. You had just spent the night before making a special dinner for your family and now you didn't even have one.
Everything was happening so fast that you felt like you weren’t even really processing it. Why hadn’t you just stayed at the apartment and fought for Logan? This was your life. Your home, your family, your love. Why were you just giving it all up so easily? You didn’t understand, but now you weren’t even sure you would be able to force yourself to go back.
"No," Wade admitted, with a sheepish grin. "It's not only Vanessa, you see, but Logan. I mean, Deadpool and Wolverine are a package deal now. There's no breaking up that superhero wet dream team and if I'm harboring his ex? Then that'll just make it more awkward than the time I used his toothbrush on Dogpool. Trust me, he made me regret that one. There are some places those claws of his should not go," he warned with a shudder.
Hearing Wade refer to you as Logan's ex broke something inside you. You could feel hurt begin to overwhelm you, swiftly replaced by anger. You let out a short, sharp scream of frustration. You didn't even realize you had formed a forcefield around you and pushed out with it until you realized Wade had been knocked several steps back.
"Y/N--" Wade started, but you turned away from him.
You didn't want to be placated and you didn't want to deal with anymore of Wade's nonsense. You let yourself go invisible, knowing that it was the only way you would feel safe now.
You wandered around the neighborhood for hours, trying to figure out where you belonged. You trudged from street to street before unerringly finding your way back to your apartment complex once night fell. You didn't dare go inside, but you stayed out on the sidewalk. People passed by you, never knowing you were even there, and you kept your gaze up on the window that shone brightest in the dark.
Logan was up there. He was with his wife and Laura and they were a family in their home enjoying a night together. You were no one with nothing and no home to share with anyone.
You weren't sure why you stayed there for so long, but you thought it had something to do with hope and an inane wish that he would come downstairs and tell you it was all some sick joke. You thought of his promise that he would always find you, even when you were hidden, but that hadn't been true either.
Logan was happy without you, because he had what he really wanted all along. So, why would he come find you when he didn't even need you anymore?
Or worse, Logan knew you were down here and just didn't care about you anymore.
With that revelation, you turned and walked away. There was a swirling mess of thoughts stuck in your head that dredged up the same old insecurities you thought you had shed once and for all.
You would never be good enough. You were unloved. You didn't matter. You weren't worth anything.
You had no one.
You felt tears slide down your cheeks as you aimlessly roamed from place to place. You next found yourself outside the X-Mansion, wondering if you should take Wade's advice and join up with the X-Men. As much as you longed to feel like you belonged somewhere, you didn't think you could go back to saving people with a smile on your face like you weren't slowly withering inside.
There was a whisper of your name on the air. You glanced over your shoulder, looking to see who called your name, but you found no one. It had been so faint that you might have imagined it, but there was a feeling, an electrified touch, that had briefly set your nerves alight.
You weren't sure what time it was, but you were exhausted. You found it pathetic and sad that you didn't have anywhere to go. You didn't even have money for a hotel room. All you could think to do was find a park and drop down onto a bench. At the very least, you knew you could protect yourself if anyone tried to attack you.
You formed a forcefield around you, ignoring the fact that it would only slip away while you slept, and let yourself drift away.
When you woke, you weren't alone. You jolted in place, suddenly wide awake, and scrambled to sit up. On the bench across from yours, a man was sitting reading a newspaper.
He quirked an eyebrow at you when he realized he had your attention.
"I was wondering when you would wake up," he said, lowering the newspaper.
He had dark eyes and darker hair. He wore a suit with a black trench coat, but the illusion of a businessman was ruined by the combat boots he was wearing. His skin was pale and there was a faint ring of red around his eyes that had you wondering if he was wearing makeup. His appearance, oddly enough, seemed false, but the grin on his face was genuine, if a bit unsettling.
"Were you watching me?" You couldn't help but wonder, half-torn between becoming invisible to make your escape and staying to get answers.
"Yes," he answered, unashamed by his actions. "I thought it fascinating that someone would let you stay out here all alone. You don't deserve that, so I stayed to keep watch over you."
You wanted to tell him you could take care of yourself, but you didn't feel so sure about that anymore. The reminder of your loneliness crept up on you and you could feel doubt settle over you. You were on your own now without a team. No one was going to come save you if you found yourself in trouble. You would simply have to claw your own way out.
"What's your name?" You decided to ask instead, studying him from across the small concrete path that separated you.
"Nathaniel," he introduced himself with a smile. "And you are?"
"Y/N," you returned, with a half-hearted wave.
"Now, I know we just met, but I do have one thing on my mind," Nathaniel started, leaning in towards you after placing his newspaper on the bench beside him. "What on earth are you doing out here all by yourself?"
You felt your lips twist to the side in a frown as you bit down on the side of your mouth to keep a lid on the emotions that threatened to boil over at the reminder of the previous day. "I--," you cut yourself off, not sure how to phrase your situation to a stranger without making it seem as if you had completely lost your mind. "I lost my home yesterday," you settled on with a grimace. "My family kicked me out."
Nathaniel made a sympathetic noise before he stood up. "May I?" He asked, gesturing towards your bench.
You shrugged your shoulders in answer but moved over to leave him enough space to sit down beside you.
"In my experience, family is a fickle thing," Nathaniel continued once he was at your side. "People come and go, but you have to be able to stand by yourself and forge your own path once it all falls apart."
"I don't know if I can do that this time," you whispered, ashamed to admit that you were on the brink of losing whatever control over your emotions you had managed since waking up.
Nathaniel turned so he could watch you. It was a bit unnerving, but you figured you had no one else for company. A smirk tugged at his lips as he studied you. "You're a fighter," he assured you.
"Oh?" You wondered, returning his stare. "And how would you know that?"
His smirk was still in place as he tapped his temple. "I'm psychic," he proclaimed, holding up his fingers and waving them before imitating a ghostly wail.
You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you and it felt so wrong.
"There we go," Nathaniel murmured with a pleased smile. "Look, I know you don't know me, but how about a drink? Coffee?" He prompted, moving to stand and holding out a hand to you.
You didn't want to wallow in your misery on the park bench all by yourself and you figured Nathaniel made a decent enough distraction. "You're paying," you told him, reluctantly grabbing his hand and letting him help you up. "Only because I don't have any money."
Nathaniel laughed, the sound briefly jarring to you, and cocked his head to the side. "In that case, I'll buy you breakfast too."
You found yourself in a diner booth sitting across from Nathaniel. He offered to buy you whatever you wanted, but you settled for a cup of coffee and a stack of pancakes. You weren't all that hungry and you couldn't get your mind off Logan. You wondered what he was doing right at that moment and then you dashed the thought. He was probably happy with his wife and Laura and had forgotten all about you.
"Hey," Nathaniel called, getting your attention. "Where did you go?"
You shook your head, biting your lip to distract yourself.
"Thinking about your family?" He prompted, shooting you a wary look. "I know I'm a stranger and it's none of my business, but do you want to tell me what happened? Maybe I can offer some perspective."
You scowled down at your pancakes, pushing them halfheartedly around the plate with a fork. You glanced around the diner, spotting a blonde woman wearing a white suit watching you curiously from a booth not far from yours. You shook your head at Nathaniel, not wanting anyone to overhear you.
"Let's get out of here," you told him, pushing yourself out of the booth. "I could use a walk to clear my head."
"Alright," Nathaniel readily agreed, standing as well. While he placed a twenty on the table, you made for the door.
There was that whisper again in the air that had you looking over your shoulder. Someone was calling your name, but you didn't see anyone you recognized. No one was even looking at you except for Nathaniel who was slowly approaching you.
"You okay?" Nathaniel interrupted, stealing your attention away.
"Yeah," you muttered, briefly nodding your head. "Just c'mon," you said, barely waiting for Nathaniel to follow you before you pushed through the door and walked outside.
You didn't think you would be able to confide in a total stranger, but there was something strangely freeing about unloading all the burdens on your mind to someone who didn't know anything about you. You even managed to drop the mutant bomb on him and were surprised when Nathaniel only took it in stride, as if he had expected all along you weren’t quite normal. He mostly seemed focused on what you told him about your family and how you lost them all in one fell swoop.
"Sounds like you're better off without them," Nathaniel mused. "Anyone who would let you go like that is an idiot."
"Maybe," you begrudgingly agreed. You didn't think it was possible, but Nathaniel had managed to make you feel better. Maybe letting out all your worries had briefly unburdened you. Or maybe since you lost everyone, you had been desperate to hear someone tell you it wasn’t your fault.
"They're all ungrateful idiots," Nathaniel continued. "You're special," he told you. "And you deserve more."
His tone brooked no argument, but you were a little thrown off by how serious he seemed.
"I don't know what I'm going to do now," you deflected, scowling down at your hands. "I don't have anyone or anywhere to go. And I've just spent the day with a stranger telling him my whole pathetic sob story."
"I'm not a stranger anymore," Nathaniel offered with a grin. "You know my name and everything."
"I know literally nothing else about you," you pointed out. You were starting to feel apprehensive about trusting someone you didn't even know. Your head was beginning to hurt and you could feel your hands trembling. You weren't sure why panic had hit you all at once, but you could feel your heart beating overtime in your chest and a cold sweat begin to break out along your skin. You were beginning to hyperventilate, confused and overwhelmed, when Nathaniel took you by the shoulders and forced you to look into his eyes.
"Hey, it's all going to be okay. Just trust me, alright? Y/N, you with me?"
You tried to focus on Nathaniel, but there was a ringing in your ears and you swore someone else was trying to get your attention. You shook your head, trying to keep yourself from falling right into a spiral. You forced yourself to take slow, deep breaths, realizing that Nathaniel was also taking them, trying to coach you through your anxiety attack.
You closed your eyes once you finally felt like you could stand on your own two feet without freaking out. You took a moment to center yourself before allowing yourself to open your eyes again.
"Thanks," you whispered, nodding at him when he shot you a skeptical look. "I'm fine. I'll be fine," you claimed, even though you knew it was a lie. You were tired of loving and losing. Your heart ached for Logan and you knew that you would never recover from losing him. But Nathaniel, odd as he was, had managed to help you feel like maybe you didn't have to spend the rest of your existence completely alone.
"I know you will," Nathaniel confirmed with another one of his smiles. "Because you're coming home with me."
You stared at Nathaniel, waiting for the punchline, but it never came. "I could be a serial killer," you warned him with a scoff. "And you're inviting me into your home?"
Nathaniel shrugged his shoulders, a smirk on his face. "I'm not scared of you."
He sounded so sure of himself that you couldn't help the disbelieving laugh that escaped you. "You're completely insane, aren't you?"
"So, is that a yes?" Nathaniel wondered, holding his hand out to you and waiting for you to take it. "Will you join me?"
You stared down at his hand for a beat too long to be socially acceptable. It felt like you were about to make a deal with the devil, but Nathaniel had been nothing but kind. He had given you a shoulder to cry on and was now giving you a place to go so you wouldn’t have to spend another night on a park bench.
You knew it was probably a bad idea, but you still found yourself reaching out to take his hand.
"Okay," you reluctantly agreed. "I'll go with you."
You thought it would be weird once you found yourself in Nathaniel's apartment, but it felt oddly familiar. He had a guest room that he had designated as yours and made sure you could take whatever you wanted from the fridge. You didn't know how to return his kindness, but you knew you would have to find a way.
Nathaniel had gone out to get dinner while you waited on his couch, idly flipping through channels. You were starting to doze off, exhausted, when you heard someone calling for you.
You squinted at the television, wondering if you were hearing things, when it happened again. You had stopped on a news report, catching sight of the woman from the diner. You assumed she was a news anchor, but the way she was looking at the camera gave you the eerie sensation that she was somehow actually watching you. When her gaze drifted over, as if looking at someone behind you, you rushed to turn off the television.
You cautiously glanced over your shoulder, half-expecting to see someone standing there. But you were alone.
“Y/N,” the voice called again. It was faint, like they were outside, but close enough for you to hear.
“What the fuck is happening?” You growled, growing frustrated. “Where are you?”
You stood, wondering if you should go looking for whoever was trying to reach you, when Nathaniel walked into the apartment. He held up the bag of takeout and nodded towards the kitchen table.
"Ready to eat?"
Time dragged on as days and weeks passed. You still thought of Logan practically every waking moment, but Nathaniel had done his best to distract you.
You were grateful for him, because you didn't know how you would have lived without someone there to fill the void in your life.
You weren't sure what day it was or even how long had passed since you last saw Logan, but you knew that you had started to heal.
"Sometimes," Nathaniel told you once you voiced that thought to him. "You have to let something break so you can piece it back together to get something new. To get what you truly want. What is it that you want, Y/N?" Nathaniel studied you with the same unnerving intensity he always did and you hated to admit that you were finding it less weird each time it happened.
Logan was the first thought that came to your mind. You wanted Logan and you wanted your home and you wanted your family. You wanted to show Laura how to cook and you wanted to follow Wade into crazy situations, knowing that he would have your back just like you had his back. You wanted to crawl into bed with Logan at the end of each day knowing that you were wanted and cherished.
Nathaniel made a disappointed noise before he shook his head. "There's no going back," he told you "I'm sorry, but it's just not going to happen."
You didn't like the way he sounded so sure of himself. Nathaniel didn't know Logan and he didn't even really know you. You had spent weeks with him, but years of your life had been devoted to a Logan. Your Logan had been better, you knew it, so maybe you were the one who wasn't worthy.
Nathaniel made a tsking noise before he reached out. He wrapped his hand lightly along the underside of your jaw, his thumb pressed to the other side of your neck over your pulse point. He considered you for a long moment, as if he was searching for something.
"He left you," Nathaniel reminded you, as if it hadn't been eating you up inside since it happened. "You are special. You deserve to be cherished," he continued, and you started to worry about the potentially romantic direction he was going with his lecture. A brief smile flitted across his face, as if he could read your mind, before his expression slipped back towards something more serious. "You're lost and you're broken," he added, gently sweeping his thumb over your pulse point. "Let me put the pieces back together."
You weren't even sure if you trusted Nathaniel, but you had spent so long hurting that you were tempted to say yes.
You suddenly felt like someone had brushed their hand over the back of your head and you heard someone call your name. It was the same voice as before and you knew better than to look for someone you wouldn't find. But Nathaniel's eyes strayed just over your shoulder, as if he had heard it too. There was a brief flicker of irritation on his face before he gifted you with a sincere smile.
"I've got you," he promised. "No one is ever going to get near you again."
"Okay," you finally agreed, if only because you were curious about what he had in mind. You also couldn't deny that you were just so desperate to not fall back into that desolate pit of isolation you had begun to dig for yourself. Nathaniel saw you and he wanted you. There wasn't much else you felt like you could ask for now.
And if Nathaniel's sharp smile sent a shiver through you for all the wrong reasons, then you were the only one who had to know about that.
Nathaniel seemed insistent that in order to move on, you would have to make yourself stronger. To him, that seemed to mean training day and night, improving upon your power in new and terrifying ways.
You spent hours, days, weeks, stretching the limits of your power. Your power had always been meant as a defense, to protect and contain, but now you wanted to wield it as a weapon.
Your progress felt excruciatingly slow, but you had to admit that you were pleased with the results. It started simple enough with just a thought. You wanted your forcefields to hurt. The barriers you would have erected to protect yourself should also be used to hurt anyone who dared get too close.
Nathaniel had rented out an abandoned location in a strip mall and set up targets for you to use. More often than not, he was watching you, as if he was waiting for something. Other times, he seemed content to leave you alone, trusting you would have something new to show him when he returned.
You practiced on the targets, first forming forcefields around your fists and breaking anything that stood in your way. Nothing held up to them and you started growing bored of that tactic. You started to think that if you could form a forcefield, then it could be any shape you wanted. Spikes, swords, knives all began to adorn the edges of your forcefields, facing out and ready to maim anything that was in the way.
Nathaniel seemed eager when you first formed a forcefield that was outlined with spikes and used it to repeatedly stab holes into the brick fence that lined the back of the property. You were sure he was never going to get his deposit back, but he didn't even seem to care. He only encouraged you to think bigger and do more.
With time, you were even able to produce two forcefields at once. It was exhausting and drained all your energy, but you liked the idea of protecting yourself while also using a different forcefield to hurt an attacker. From there, it was only natural to think of taking a forcefield, forming it around an enemy, and turning the projected spikes inward, letting them impale your target without a way to escape.
You felt stronger and invulnerable. You had never thought to test your power like this, and the feeling was nearly intoxicating. Logan and Laura and Wade were still on your mind, but now you knew that you didn’t need them. Like Nathaniel told you, you could stand on your own and forge your own path ahead.
No one would hold you back now.
The first time you felt the full force of your own power was when Nathaniel was taunting you into a reaction.
"He doesn't care about you anymore. He's moved on with the true love of his life and you are nothing to him. You don't need him anymore. You can show him that you're better off without him."
There were targets surrounding you, but you didn't care about them. All you could think about was Logan and the stupid lovelorn look on his face as he looked at his wife. He looked like he had been saved. Saved from you and whatever pathetic existence he was ready to settle for in her absence. You deserved better and you wanted to rip that stupid look right off his face. You wanted to make him and her regret it.
You let out a scream of frustration, punching out with your forcefield at one of the targets, but it got carried away from you. All the targets snapped back, taken out at once from the blast. It carried farther out, nearly ripping the door off its hinges and shattering the front windows.
You looked at Nathaniel, where he was splayed on the floor, staring up at you in awe.
"You did it," he praised as he began to push himself to his feet. You crossed over towards him, holding out your hand to help get him up off the floor. “I knew you could do it.”
"What was that?" You wondered, breathless and ecstatic. Your power had never quite felt like that before. You wanted to try it again, the rush of it addicting. If you could hone that and strengthen it, then you could use it on multiple enemies at once. You could become nearly unstoppable.
"A repulsion field," Nathaniel answered, reaching out to rest a hand on your shoulder. "With time, I expect you'll be able to direct it and control it. You’ll be able to take out a whole city if you want."
"Shit," you breathed, still shocked that you had managed something like that. "I didn't think I could use my power in that way. It was...exciting," you decided with a grin at Nathaniel.
"I told you that you're special," he reminded you. "I knew you had that in you all along."
"Thank you," you found yourself saying. You considered the targets on the floor and wondered if there would be any more use in them.
"I have extras," Nathaniel assured you. "Want to try again?"
You felt a pleased little thrill shoot through you at the thought. "Fuck yes," you answered.
A week passed since you found out about the extra perk your power allowed you. You felt more confident and assured of yourself. Gone was the self-doubt and in its place was a feeling that you could defeat anyone or anything.
You were walking to the store with Nathaniel, thinking about what you might want to make for dinner. Nathaniel was being unusually quiet and leaving you alone to your thoughts. You wondered if something was wrong, but then you spotted her.
It was you. The other you. She was alone. No Logan or Laura or Wade in her vicinity.
You couldn't help the way you froze on the sidewalk or the fury that rose up swiftly enough you felt nearly sick with it.
She was to blame for everything. She had stolen your life away from you and now she got to be happy while you spent the rest of your life wanting someone you would never have again.
"Is that her?" Nathaniel asked, rounding back to standing at your side. "The one who stole your life from you?"
You nodded your head, attempting to keep a lid on your anger.
"Why don't you make her regret it?"
The idea was so simple, but so damn tempting. You could just imagine the look on her face when she realized she was incredibly outmatched now. You could destroy her within seconds and she would never be able to stop you.
You knew it wasn't something you should entertain. You had lived your whole life as a hero. There was a line you would have never dared to cross before but after everything that had happened, you were starting to realize that line was blurred beyond recognition. As far as you were concerned, she had stolen your life from you, and it was only right that she realized what a mistake that had been.
"You're better than her now. Stronger," Nathaniel continued, leaning in closer to you. "She can't do half of what you can. Show her what you've learned."
"I don't know," you tried to deflect. You wanted your revenge, but there was still a tiny voice in your head saying it wasn’t right. It wasn’t what you were supposed to do.
"Aren't you tired?" Nathaniel hissed, his hand coming up to clutch your shoulder in a near-painful grip. "Tired of being the doormat. The hero. The martyr. Don't let them get away with it. Don't let her walk away."
You didn't even realize you had made up your mind until you were walking up to the other you. She was checking out a display of plants that had been left outside of the market for customers to choose, but she seemed to sense your approach, because she turned to consider you.
You weren't sure what she saw when she looked at you, but her eyes went wide with fear, and she immediately pulled up a forcefield. You stalked forward, intent on your target. You didn't care if anyone was watching, because you felt like you were completely justified in your actions.
You passed right through her forcefield and pushed her back. She fell to the ground, staring up at you in terror. You pulled your fist back, forming your own forcefield around it. You let spikes form along the outside facing towards her. All you had to do was bring it down onto her face. It would be a killing blow, and you would never have to think about her again. Logan would lose the love of his life, but maybe he would come back to you. Maybe you could return to him stronger, better, and without any more competition.
For a moment, as you looked right into her face, it was like gazing into a mirror. The scar was gone, her hair was the same as yours, and you were wearing similar clothes. She looked just like you.
You were convinced that she was you.
And that made you pull back, horrified at what you had almost done.
Her eyes were closed, ready for a blow that you weren't capable of dealing any longer.
"I'm sorry," you whispered before stepping away, propelling yourself right out of her forcefield.
"Y/N?" Nathaniel called, pulling your attention towards him. "What are you doing? She's right there. Kill her," he demanded, his lips pulling back in a sneer.
You shook your head, feeling something indescribable but ultimately terrified swell within you. What had you become? What had Nathaniel done to you? You had let him so far into your head that you had almost done something unspeakable.
You made yourself go invisible before you took off running. You didn't know where you were going or where you would even hide, but you knew that you needed to get away from Nathaniel. He had pushed you to do more, be more, and you had never once stopped to think about which road you were heading down and whether it would lead you right to the point of no return.
You could hear Nathaniel yelling for you to stop and come back, but you didn't listen. You wanted to get away from him and just think. It felt like you had let him take up residence in your head and now you wanted to figure out how the hell to evict him.
You ran until you felt like you were going to collapse. You finally stopped outside of a library. You rushed inside, catching a glimpse of the news anchor flipping through a book as you went right for the back corner. Two bookshelves met there and you sank right to the floor in front of them. You dropped your head into your hands and forced yourself to take deep breaths.
"Y/N," you heard someone call. It wasn't Nathaniel and it wasn't anyone else you immediately recognized. But it was familiar. They had been trying to get your attention all along.
"What," you snapped, already feeling like you were on the verge of crumbling. Nathaniel had been right that you were broken, but who was going to put the pieces back together this time? It felt like Nathaniel had managed to piece them back together all wrong and you didn't even feel like yourself anymore.
"Y/N," the voice called again.
You closed your eyes and focused on the voice. You reached out for it, desperate for any sort of lifeline. It was a spark right at the back of your mind. You rushed to meet it, eager to figure out who had been trying to talk to you.
"My name is Charles Xavier."
You startled, nearly letting the tenuous connection between you and Charles drop, but finally throwing everything you had towards it.
"This world is a lie," Charles continued once he realized you could hear him. "Do not let him break you. They're coming to find you."
"Who?" You couldn't help but ask, hope and fear clashing inside you, threatening to overwhelm you.
"A rather odd group of saviors," Charles answered, a hint of amusement clear in his words. "But stay strong and do what you can to break free of his hold. He has a way to keep me out, so once he finds you, I’m afraid I won’t be much help to you. Just hold on until they get there."
You didn't know how you were going to get yourself out. You were starting to think it was hopeless, because you hadn’t even realized you were trapped in the first place. The more you thought about it, though, the more obvious it became that something had been wrong since the morning you woke up and Logan’s wife was sitting in your kitchen. The fact that she had come back from the dead, Logan’s quick dismissal of you, Laura and Wade both turning their backs on you. Nathaniel’s convenient timing and the way he watched you as if you were nothing more than an experiment for him. A pet mutant he could poke and prod and play with while you were none the wiser.
“Who’s coming to find me?” You didn’t dare to assume that you were worth the rescue, but you couldn’t help yourself. You had to know. You had to hold onto the one little spark of hope you could feel burning defiantly inside you.
For one terrifying moment, your mind was still, and you felt crushingly alone. Just when you thought you had been abandoned, Charles left you with one final word.
"Logan."
Author's Note: There will be a fourth chapter! Did I have you going for a while there? I felt so evil writing this. I truly did. If you liked this, please let me know. Not to sound needy, but comments/reblogs/etc. literally fuel me to write more and inspire me so much to keep coming up with fun stuff. Thank you to everyone who has shown this series any support! Also, if you would like to be added/removed from the taglist, just let me know!
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#wolverine#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x reader#marvel#marvel imagine#wolverine imagine#x men#logan x reader#x reader#reader insert#imagine#my fic#when i'm with you i'm home 'verse
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THANK YOU ALL TO THE SUPER NICE AND SUPPORTIVE MESSAGES I GOT AFTER FINISHING MY FIC💖💖💖🥹🥹🥹there were too many to respond to separately and i didnt wanna feel like i was repeating myself, so i just wanna say thank you all at once, it really means so much to me that you all read along and enjoyed it so much and what it meant to u all personally🥹 second pic is how i feel....ur all my proud parents congratulating me after i just finished building something cool and im showing it off to you LMFAOO
FUN FACT men actually didnt wear engagement/wedding rings back in the 1890s! it was only in the beginning of the 1900s that they started wearing them (due to the first world war) bc they wanted to have something to bring with them to remember their wives. SO YEAH thats why!! i guess wizard society could be different, but i just went with real world lore on that front BAHA
@psyducktastic BAHAH THANK YOUU!! tbh i was originally planning on making the wedding even shorter/glossing over it even more, and didnt really MAKE a decision on whos POV it was gonna be in...it just happened as i started writing LOL. i guess i wrote it from sebs POV bc less emotions there to focus on, unlike CLORAS pov, which like you said, would be running a mile a minute and filled with all these thoughts, and subsequently make me unable to gloss over the scene like i wanted to LOL. plus, the whole anticipation of a wedding is in finally seeing the bride, so even tho it wasnt even intended, i kinda like that the reader will be in the same position as seb/the audiences POV as they wait for the bride to enter. and yes clora defs had a lot of bittersweet feelings, i think i have her mention it internally in that conversation with anne, that its still an adjustment and that even tho shes ofc happy with seb, its still kinda lonely/will take some getting used to. but i didnt wanna bring down the mood in the last chapter by focusing too much on those bittersweet feelings, so i just focused on the sweet instead 🥹💖and also i cant even imagine what clive and clora were doing outside the door before they entered...i imagine clive was secretly choked up and clora was nervous, which resulted in the two of them just being completely silent BAHAHA. maybe some subtle squeezes of reassurance and comfort back and forth BUT THANK YOU AGAIN💖💖💖AND IM HAPPY YOU LIKED HOW I ENDED IT🥹💖💖💖
#ask#IVE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT IF I EVER DONT RESPOND TO ASKS KNOW THAT I STILL LOVE THEM AND THINK ABOUT THEM#AND I MIGHT STILL REPLY EVEN IF ITS BEEN A WHILE#i try to space out when i answer asks bc i dont want to clog ppls dash too much🙏😭#idk why im so weird about posting on my own dang blog like idk how im expecting ppl to react#like omg i know i follow choccymilky but how dare one of her posts show up on my dash WTF IS THIS🤬🤬🤬
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i just finished this fic! it's good!
and because it's all done i want to like... be a LITTLE self indulgent and talk under the cut about some miscellaneous things that i ran into while writing it. don't click the readmore if you're interested in the fic and haven't read it yet i'm about to spoil the Whole thing.
also there is an epilogue to this fic now - go read that before this post if you're getting to this before the update!!
so!! i haven't written fanfiction in like FIVE YEARS. it's been a while! part of that is because i was doing original stuff and part of it was i was in a creative slump. so isat kind of dug me out of that and i owe it my thanks. i've been able to do a crazy amount of original work since starting this fic, it's brought back my creative discipline. in like seven years when my video game comes out you can thank isat for that probably
i originally set out thinking this was the only fic for isat i was going to write. and then as i was writing this i fell deeper into it. i kind of got out of isat a little disappointed in how it ended?? but now that i'm here i'm like ah it's fine. just cause i would have done something different in dev's position doesn't mean it's bad. it does mean i can write a bunch of fanfiction exploring things i wish had been tackled more in the game though LOL
i said this in one of the chapter authors notes but i DID start out curtain call hating loop with every fiber of my being. (as in i liked them as a character UNTIL the act 6 reveal which i thought was lame) and then i played through the game a second time knowing the loop twist and went "oh nvm this makes sense" so a lot of the loop stuff in this fic was actually written twice. originally i was just gonna have them soulmerge with siffrin and not be present at all but then i was like. no. i do want to keep this lighthearted and that's too depressing of an end for loop. i do have a loop postcanon doc so i'll go repay them for their slapdashed involvement in curtain call someday
i'm in a weird position with curtain call in that i wrote the themes and major conflicts Directly After playing through isat the first time. before i could really marinate and analyze the characters fully. so there are a lot of scenes and points where i think i wouldn't characterize certain people like that if i were to rewrite this from scratch? however i don't disagree with what i've written either - it's just an interpretation that i don't necessarily think is my favorite anymore.
neither is any of the worldbuilding i did for any of this - it works for curtain call and i think it was nice but i don't necessarily think it's my current interpretation of what the culture and people were like? i like the wishes being permanent thing, i like the language stuff, but i'd probably go in a different direction if i went through this again
i do actually still think "the forgotten island was destroyed by a volcano" is my solid headcanon explanation of what happened to it. in my heart. i think like - with siffrin as a character especially it's very important that he's always missing something, that it's not idyllically happy for them at the end of everything. so even if he can remember more from their own past, it's - you know - there's no way to go back. only forward.
in the vein of this i probably could have killed siffrin/loop's entire childhood family but i did not. mostly because i did think it was fun for him to have to explain all of those cultural taboos they broke to survive. which, of course, was not a big deal - any good parent would rather their kid be alive than lawful - but what is isat other than a vehicle to make siffrin work through every moral compulsion and spiral they experience
i had a thought halfway through writing the fic that i was stepping on the very good and beautiful odile friendquest by making the island real and having a lot of siffrin's personality dictate how it went. but i ultimately decided on keeping siffrin very close to their country, more than odile is to vaugarde, because siffrin actually DID live on the island when he was a kid and that i think is a Different type of "longing for your country" trauma than odile's. i think they can still drink over the feelings together though
writing bonnie is very fun but very emotional for me. the bonnie&siffrin age gap (preteen to late-20s) is the exact age gap between me and my niece so every time i need to sit down and write something for them i think about her and how much she's a little baby growing up. this has nothing to do with bonnie it just makes writing bonnie really hard for me
if the entire history of my ao3 account was not an indicator, i'm a very big fan of writing romance, but i did not want it to take over curtain call at all. i also could have left out sloopis entirely and almost did, but thought "you know. with the way loop functions in this fic. i should at least let that be open ended" cause sharing a body with a version of you who is dating some other guy is gonna get messy no matter what. it's just not necessarily something i had time to or the urge to explore here. think of it as a fun spiritual nod to the fact that isafrin is technically open ended in isat (<- cop out answer)
i think i'm pretty vocal in how much i am absolutely insane for the flashback "happiest i can remember being" conversation. who let them do that. i think a lot of how i worked with mirabelle and siffrin's relationship in this fic kind of revolved around that. important to me that it ends with mira checking in on him and getting the answer she was looking for all along <3
overall i'm happy with curtain call. glad i am done with it though. there's so much that's running in with it at once. i'll probably wait a month and reread the whole thing to myself front to back before i start having fond memories of this. i mean it's always gonna be the fic my nephew was born during and i'll always remember having a panic attack in the airport right after posting chapter 7 but it's gonna be weird letting this one sail off into the ocean of the internet. however feel free to ask anything about the fic, i wrote this in a lil hurry on a bad day and probably didn't cover everything
goodbye, curtain call!! i love you!!!!! i'll miss you!!!!
[looks both ways, waiting for most people to leave]
also. if you've read this far. i hope it's not too gauche of me to link my personal project. if you've read over 100k words of this you might enjoy the game i'm developing? i've been working on it for almost a year but i just started the devlog last month. it's still in early baby stages as far as a full video game goes but if you liked this you'll like the game when it comes out (similar nickname culture, timeloop trauma, petty interpersonal drama, very stupid jokes, natural disaster angst)
also there isn't a lot on the devblog yet, i've mostly been doing programming on it, i JUST started visdev i'm sorry if it's uglyyyyy (FOR NOW)
anyway i'm trusting you with that link. i'm going to use my professional name on that project when it airs don't cross the wires pretty please just pretend that's a butch-y cis woman's game <3 guard the closet door babeyyyyy
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Fate Yields For No One
Chapter Three
Hey besties! I hope y’all enjoy the next installment of this series!!! This one is gonna have a lot more lore, and plot developing so I hope you like learning a bit more of how things work in this AU:) Thanks for all y’all’s support on this fic!
Poly Lost Boys x Fem Vampire Reader
Reblog to support my writing, and comment to tell me you’d like to be added to my Taglist for this fic, or my main Taglist!
Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two
California, 1986
Paul’s eyes widened as he realized who you were to him. You wished you could have stopped the word that fell from his lips.
“Mine.”
No.
‘This can’t be happening,’ you thought to yourself as you fought your instincts to keep the same word Paul has uttered to you from bursting out of your own mouth.
Even if you could ignore the fact that this man had been hitting on Maria not five seconds ago, this wasn’t what you wanted for your life.
All the big choices in your unlife had been largely dictated by some dude with a god complex. How could this guy be any different?
You refused to trade one captor for another.
The handsome blond man stared at you in shock, seemingly surprised as you were at the sudden twist of fate that had brought you two together.
Though as his shock wore off his lips seemed to curve into a smile and his hand moved to touch your cheek.
You panicked.
You recoiled sharply from his outstretched palm “Oh my god I totally forgot I have to go stock things in the back, so nice to meet you, bye!” you rambled quickly as you raced to escape from behind the desk.
“What?” Paul’s brow furrowed in confusion. He moved to stand in front of the swinging door, your only escape from behind the desk.
You glared at him, “you’re in my way…”
“What?!” he repeated with more frustration than confusion, “but we’re…I mean we-”
“I know what we are,” you told him, “and I don’t care. So can you please move aside so I can do my job.”
Paul’s jaw dropped.
You sighed and pushed passed him.
“Hey!” he called after you.
You ignored him and kept walking, desperate to be anywhere but next to him.
“This isn’t over you know,” he promised you.
You scoffed as you pulled at the door to the back room, “seems like it is.”
You slid in, slamming the door behind you and pinching the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger.
Despite what you’d said to Paul, you knew you hadn't seen the last of him.
You were determined not to breathe a word to Max about anything that had transpired that night.
He’d never really told you anything about mates, you suspected because he’d never found his own. You couldn't predict how he'd react, and you wouldn’t let him force you into anything else.
Which meant you'd have to figure this out on your own.
As the sun rose and Max went to bed for the day, you scoured the shelves of his home library for anything that could give you more information.
You slunk away to your bedroom with a mountain of books. You secured your black out curtains, preparing to stay up all day researching.
What you found terrified you.
Humans swooned over the idea of soulmates, they spent their lives searching for someone who’d complete them, one person who was perfectly suited for them.
But this wasn’t an original human creation. They’d stolen the idea of soulmates from vampires.
Many scholars thought when a human transformed into a vampire, they lost their soul.
From what you could gather, this was a myth. Instead, when a human became a vampire, their soul wasn’t taken from them, but tethered to another of their kind.
You read this was a facet of vampirism that had developed over time out of a necessity for more vampires. Great.
You’d also read that, as bats had multiple partners, vampires could have more than one mate. You didn’t even want to think about that possibility.
When you’d read the first text from cover to cover, you picked up a new one.
You found that the mates aspect of vampirism was inherently instinctual, which is why Paul had called you his, and why you’d almost done the same. He couldn’t help it.
You read, to your dismay, that your soul was intimately tied to his in a way that could never be severed. Your entire beings belonged to each other.
This was bad.
You continued to the next book, cringing as you read that from this point on every denial of your connection would only hurt you. Without Paul, a part of you would always feel empty.
Now that you knew you were “meant for each other,” every moment without him would hurt just a little bit. You could not exist the same way without him. He was yours, you were his.
Fuck that shit.
You didn’t need anyone to give your life meaning. You belonged to yourself and no one else.
You pushed the stack of books aside in a huff. They tumbled to the ground but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.
You would fight to be the master of your own fate, whatever it took.
You were apprehensive to return for your shift the next day for fear that you'd be confronted by the persistent blond vampire.
However after two days with no sign of Paul, you began to relax. And after two weeks had passed without a trace, you had pushed the whole ordeal out of your mind entirely.
Instead, you turned your focus to Maria.
The two of you were constantly scheduled together as Max could never find anyone else to work the night shifts. You spent almost every waking minute with the girl that had quickly become very important to you.
And once Max had seen you'd connected with Maria, he felt the urge to supervise you less and less. It wasn't long before you were permitted to work your shifts without his imposing presence.
But work was a term used pretty loosely as you always seemed to do more talking than working. It wasn't like you had tons of customers, who even needed to rent movies at three AM anyway?
Besides, you were all too eager to spend each night hearing every seemingly insignificant detail of Maria's life.
Every good grade she'd gotten at school, every party she attended on the weekends, every fight she had with one of her siblings that always ultimately ended in apologies and hugs, you wanted to know it all. You were content to listen to the sound of her voice ramble on for hours.
She was just as eager to know you, and though you couldn't tell her everything, you could tell her enough.
Maria listened intently, wide eyed and hanging on every word as you related stories from your time in New York city.
Five siblings meant Maria's family didn’t get to travel much. You gasped when she admitted she'd never even ventured from the state of California.
"We'll go together one day," you promised her, "I'll take you everywhere, I know the city like the back of my hand!"
Her laugh rang through the store, prompting your lips to turn up into a bright smile, her joy was contagious. "What a dream that would be," she sighed wistfully, you could almost see the stars in her eyes.
"I mean it," you said seriously, "you and me, together in New York."
Her smile grew, "you and me."
As the work week came to a close, you shoved the last VHS back into place, moving to wipe down the counters as Maria flipped the switch to turn off the neon "OPEN" sign that hung on the front of the store.
You checked your watch as it flashed 6:00AM, sunrise was fast approaching and you were cutting it close.
"Damn you're working late," you realized as you wiped down the counters, "I thought I was by myself tonight."
Maria smiled sheepishly and you barely caught sight of the blush that rose to her cheeks, "you were."
Your eyes widened, "you stayed late for me? you didn't have to do that..."
"I wanted to," she replied as she bit her lip.
You dropped the rag and spray bottle, walking to stand in front of her from across the counter, "why?"
She blushed once more before her eyes fell to the ground, "I don't know, I just..." she looked up, "I like being around you."
As you stared into the eyes of the beautiful woman before you, you were presented with an opportunity. An opportunity to choose for yourself, to take control of your own destiny.
You didn't choose to be cursed with an eternity of seperation from the souls of your family, you didn't choose to be a vampire, you didn't choose Paul and you certainly didn't chose Max. But you could choose Maria.
"Maria," you whispered, leaning in till your noses were almost touching, "can I kiss you?"
She beamed before caressing your cheek with the back of her hand, "I thought you'd never ask."
You leaned in and her soft lips met yours.
Note: I promise the next chapter is going to be focused on all the boys, thanks for being patient I promise it’ll be worth it😌
FYFNO Taglist❤️:
@6lostgirl6 @misslavenderlady @bloodywickedvamp @pixielostboy @solobagginses @anna1306 @dwaynedelight @flower-crowned-lady @feardot-com @its-freaking-bats @kurt-nightcrawler @ria-coolgirl @vampirefilmlover @vampirefruitpunch @vxarak @arbesa-mind @lostboys1987girl @dwaynesluscioushair @gothamslostboy @arenpath @people-are-strange-87 @peachpixiesstuff @consuming-karma @mickkmaiden333 @bitchyexpertprincess @welcome-to-the-hole @warrior-616 @softchonk @simplyreading96 @fraudfrog @blenna3967 @pookiesnatcher @rynsfandomsfun @walmartfairy69 @jamie-poopoo @sad-ghost-of-garbage @mad-is-sad @christinesdemoness1958 @memphiscity69 @buzzybee-26 @simpingforthe80s @itsyoboysparkel @smut-religiously777 @dragonsrequiem @ilikechocolatemilkh @cocopuffs1450 @sarcastic-sourwolf @drascilla @the-lonely-abyss @jezabella8 @kristel1990
#the lost boys#lost boys fic#lost boys#the lost boys fic#Paul lost boys#maria lost boys#max lost boys#vampire reader#fem reader#fem vampire reader#poly lost boys#poly lost boys x fem reader#vampire mates#vampire#vampires#lost boys angst#tlb#tlb fic#lost boys 1987#tlb Paul#the lost boys paul#paul the lost boys#lost boys paul#the lost boys 1987#80s movies#multi chapter fic#maria x fem reader
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Hello! I have been wondering, if you were not asked before: what was the inspiration for the Mirage's dimension worldbuilding? It was truly peculiar and original look into TF au worldbuilding as whole, I was mesmerized.
>peculiar and original yessssss this is a huge compliment to me >D thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed!
If you mean specifically the fate of his Cybertron, I talked about it in the Afterword (last chapter of the fic) so I'm gonna yank the answer from there :D
...the original plan for 2938 Cybertron. Originally it was going to be an insecticon-riddled wasteland. The video game that Rodimus plays with Soundwave, Hostile Planet II, had his game character running away from insecticons as foreshadowing for this original idea. But as I got closer to the Firelove arc, I thought it would be more interesting to go the “stark wasteland” route, instead of the “insecticons are eating everything” route. I did a twitter poll and “stark wasteland” won, so I thought… let's try it.
here's a screenshot of the poll!
in terms of how did I get to "sterilized world"? I... don't remember :'D I might have the train of thought written down somewhere in my hundreds of pages of notes. I think I was trying to think of 1) something that hadn't been done before, but was 2) still really horrific despite being "clean."
Now if you meant the whole "crystals determine everything about their society, including their language," that grew out of thinking A LOT and really hard about what it would mean for that to be so. Crystals were a huge part of the fic, so I just... leaned super hard into it, haha.
2938 Megatron shows the reader what Soundwave could become. That grotesque hunger for knowledge... idk, it just feels natural that it could come from a society bound up in layers and layers of meaning and expression.
I hope that answered the question. Was there a specific part of the dimension you wanted to know about? If I didn't cover it, feel free to shoot another ask :)
Thanks for the ask!
#ask#anonymous#echo garden related#2938#Mirage's dimension#worldbuilding#'original' is the most flattering descriptor you can give me about my worldbuilding#with 'peculiar' being second best haha#I try really hard to think of things that haven't been done before#I'm so happy when people enjoy them!
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About #marcs medical records getting leaked
Will have a happy ending? or more than one parte?
Hi, hello,
Thank you soooo much for asking!!
Short answer, yes! Happt endings ftw Currently undecided on the length
Long answer:
I love an angst with a happy ending. I will put our beloved people through hell and back. But the important thing is they come back. This fic, in particular, will be very painful for Marc and Vale, but especially marc, poor guy. I'm a sucker for Marc whump ngl. This fic will talk a lot about mental health (in a positive, recovered way) and physical health, as well as self neglect and sad thoughts!!! I'm trying to do it in a very untriggering way though and like I said, it will have a positive ending.
Butttttttttt, they come out at the end happy and in love, I hope that satisfies you. Unless you like sad endings (I could do an alternative..)
In terms of parts... originally I was like ok, one chapter one shot approx 5,000 words. Yeah, that's gone OUT the window.
At the moment it's either gonna be multi chapter or multi part??
I'll probably do chapters for the main bit I spoke about (the leak and the rosquez reconcilliation) but maybe some parts to delve deeper into certain people's thoughrs/ flashbacks/ the future events?
Do let me know if you have any thoughts/ opinions!!!
#rosquez#my fics#please yap in my asks guys#i am still very much learning how to do this so bear with me#i have a lot of ideas and no finesse#angst with a happy ending#my beloved trope#cant be outdone#let me know if you have any thoughts/ ideas
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Hey I saw your Skybound AU post! If Jay is the ultimate target of Nahdakhan, does that mean that Nya is the one to be captured and tortured by him? If not, how does Jay’s treatment on Misfortune’s keep change? Is Nahdakhan still going to try and get him to make his third wish?
Hi!
So for my au, nya is the one who gets captured/ tortured. I wrote a little about it a while ago in this post if you wanna see that. Obviously, this changes a LOT about the story, which is why I've only posted small scenes or ideas for this fic. I'm doing my best to try and piece the new story together in a way that makes sense, and I'm low-key struggling rn because I've always been bad at this ;-;
Hmmmm, I haven't written about this au in a while. Once I finish chapter two of my other ninjago fic (Press B for Bad Habits, which is taking FOREVER IM SO SORRY @nonsense-at-2am), ill work on another scene idea for it...
But yeah, nya is the one originally captured and tortured. Of course, jay isn't any better off in his new role - in fact, he might be worse off than his original role, especially near the end of the season. Poor guys, im really not gonna be giving them a break. Someone give them hot chocolate and a blanket so they can recover from my evil plans for now, because from here on out they're jumping on the angst train.
Anyway, hope this answers your question! If you have any more, feel free to ask me - I love hearing your thoughts <3
Have a lovely day!
-Lee :)
#lee’s rambles#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago skybound#jay walker#ninjago nya#nya smith#nya jiang#ff!nya#ff!jay#ff!au#familiar faces au#I'm so hungry rn#Bye I'm gonna raid my cabinet for something sugary
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For a reason I can't tell you yet 🤐, I'm thinking a lot about Bryttalíf and Hálwinë today... Do you want to tell us some headcanons you have for them?
I WILL make my own headcanon public once it's not a spoiler for unpublished pHORSE chapters anymore! (Not that they will appear in pHORSE, only that the HC is related to some of my OCs who haven't had their big reveals yet!)
I am very intrigued that there is any kind of connection between my Háma’s family and a HC of your pHORSE story, and I look forward to hearing more about it (at the appropriate time of course)!
I’m about to unload probably way more than you ever needed/wanted to know, but I’m not sure the fic I was working on that would include a lot of this is gonna work so I might as well spoil it all! So, here’s a bunch about Háma’s family, which also naturally features lots of Háma himself!
Art by @ rinthecap (I’ve got no art of Háma’s family but imagine he’s thinking about them!)
—Bryttalif (Brytta to her friends) was originally from Harrowdale. Growing up in the mountains gave her a hearty constitution — she was outdoorsy and strong and not afraid of hard work or getting dirty.
—Her father was a swordsmith, and they moved to Edoras when she was a teen because there was a bigger market for his work there. But a capital city is a more expensive place to live, and so Brytta trained as a midwife in order to add another income to the family. She was a natural, and by her mid-20’s she was the most popular midwife in Edoras, known for being especially calm and efficient.
—Because she was unmarried, she still lived at home. Her father was *extremely* domineering, and both Brytta and her mother spent a lot of their time trying to avoid upsetting him.
—He pushed her *hard* into a relationship with Grigan, the son of one of the wealthiest merchants in the city. She liked Grigan well enough — he was much nicer than her father, at least — and she wanted to please her parents, who clearly thought the match would be advantageous for all of them, so she tried to make Grigan happy even though she never loved him.
—That resulted in her getting pregnant while they were still courting, and Grigan freaked out. He ran, leaving Edoras to go stay at a family estate in the Westfold, and refused to acknowledge that he’d ever had anything to do with her.
—This obviously made things very hard for her — the gossips and scolds of Edoras had a lot to say about an unwed pregnant woman (fed by damage control from Grigan’s family), and her father, in particular, was furious with her for having “ruined” his plans. But into this chaos and unhappiness walked Háma!
—He met her by chance when he came to commission a sword from her father. (Their meet-cute is here as a WIP snippet.) They started to spend time together, and she fell for him hard, knowing almost immediately that she felt far differently about Háma than she’d ever felt about Grigan or any other man.
—She was (happily) shocked when he seemed to like her just as much. He didn’t care what anyone else thought of her (“a man of worth trusts in his own wisdom”) and wasn’t put off by the idea that she was going to have a baby (“often times the best things in life are those that were unlooked for”).
—There was quite a stir in town when people found out that Háma had taken up with her. It even came up when he was considered for promotion to captain of the king’s guards. One of the king’s advisors asked what it said about him that he was consorting with someone like Brytta; Háma answered that Brytta was clever and kind and brave, and so it said that he was a lucky man. (He got the promotion, obviously, with Théoden reasoning that a man of unshakable loyalty is exactly who he wanted in charge of his safety.)
—The stir quieted down fairly quickly once people realized the whole situation was a lot less interesting and salacious when there was a loving couple at the center of it. And in all the best ways, Háma and Brytta were boring — they got engaged and were happy and lived a quiet life with a small, tight circle of friends and family.
—When Hálwinë was born, Háma loved her like she’d always been in his plans. She was even registered as “Hálwinë, daughter of Háma” (Háma cried when Brytta asked him if he’d like to be Hálwinë’s legal father). When he and Brytta were finally married two months later, he carried Hálwinë through the whole ceremony.
—Hálwinë was an enormous daddy’s girl. She loved to braid his hair (badly), go for rides on his shoulders and listen to him tell stories. He was her first hero.
—It tickled her to see the other guards all treat him with the respect due to a superior — she didn’t totally understand it, but she could clearly see that her dad was Important and she agreed!
—Once he became door warden, she liked to visit him while he sat watch, and Théoden knew her by sight from how often Brytta brought her to Meduseld to see Háma, give him a hug and sit with him for a few minutes.
—(Incidentally, she became a bit fixated during these visits on Gríma, who she saw often. After Gríma scowled at her once, Háma told her that Gríma was a sad man who used his sadness as an excuse to be mean. This made her decide that Gríma just needed a friend, and so she tried repeatedly to befriend him, always waving and saying hi and sometimes bringing him little flowers she’d picked or a treat that Brytta had intended for her. Gríma found this very confusing and eventually told Háma to keep his brat away from him; this is the closest Háma ever came to murder.)
—Hálwinë was barely 6 when Háma died. She had a hard time truly understanding what had happened and would periodically ask Brytta when he was coming home. It wasn’t until the next year, when Brytta was able to take her to Helm’s Deep to see his grave, that it really sank in. She went back to visit him there regularly for the rest of her life.
—Brytta was 5 months pregnant when Háma died. She had a boy and named him Wilspell (“welcome news”). The need to care for Hálwinë and Wilspell carried Brytta through this extraordinarily painful time, along with the love and support of Háma’s sisters and the guards, who looked in on their old captain’s family often.
—Once Hálwinë and Wilspell (“Willie”) were old enough, Brytta went back to work and was the one to deliver Éomer’s kids because she was *still* the best midwife in Edoras and would be until she retired.
—Grigan came back to Edoras to take over his family’s business when Hálwinë was 13, and he and Brytta inevitably crossed paths. He sort of apologized, and she told him it was all for the best because things had worked out much better for her without him. She asked Hálwinë if she wanted to meet him, but Hálwinë had no interest in a father that wasn’t Háma.
—Brytta never remarried, though she had offers. When she died, she was buried at Helm’s Deep beside Háma, the only woman buried there among the war dead.
So…like I said, way more than you probably wanted! Thanks for asking and hope it wasn’t a total overload! (And yes, the Háma of my HC is a dream, he’s a dream based in reality — I borrowed the Háma - Brytta love story from an elderly relative of mine, who was pregnant and unmarried in the 40’s when she met the love of her life!)
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Okay. So Imma just come out and say it.
Y'all who read fanfic. You. Need. To. Start. Commenting. On. Fics.
I have been told I'm a great writer. I've been told I'm spot-on with characterization. I've been told I'm great at making readers feel and experience what the characters are feeling and experiencing. Been told it's like the reader is in the room as everything plays out.
However, when I see that my fics have upwards of 1K hits and maybe 100-300 comments and maybe 40-100 kudos and not even hitting triple digits in the bookmarks/subscriptions to a fic... Well, what would you think in my shoes?
Most likely, if you're like me, you're thinking all kinds of negative things (especially if you have mental illness/ADHD/neurodivergency of some kind). Stuff like... Oh, those other people are just being nice (not fair to them so I try not to think this way but negative self talk doesn't play nice with me).
Or I think... Okay so they checked it out. They had to click on the fic for it to even register the hit, right? So why don't I at the very least have more kudos? That's the easiest option on there (though it's like a like on here; if you are gonna leave kudos please also leave a comment), right? So what was wrong with my fic that I don't have more kudos at least.
But then I get on here and see so many comments and reblogs on FANART (still not enough for them either though lbr). THE POINT IS... If you read a fic. If you read it and liked it, you all really need to start commenting.
It doesn't even have to be long paragraphs or quoting or any of the ✨ big comments ✨ stuff. You could leave an emoji that be showing me what my fic or update got you feeling. You can do keyboard smash. If the author asks for it, you can leave constructive criticism (but only if the author has actively asked for it; if they haven't or given you permission, then don't). You can absolutely do big comment things too.
One of my favorite type of comments to get are the quoting ones. You just copy/paste and then say what you liked about it or what it made you feel or your reaction to it. Things like that. I love when my readers tell me their fave parts in an update. Or quote a line and tell me their thoughts and feels. Just yes.
We are far too advanced in this day and age and fanfiction and fandom are wholly more accepting than it used to be but for some reason, comments and reactions have become almost non-existent compared to when I was 15. And I was... Pretty cringy in my writing back then but I can admit that. But every chapter I'd get at least 8-10 comments. A chapter!
Even earlier in my Twst series I was getting A LOT more comments and with every fic it seems to have dropped significantly.
To me, to my brain, that tells me that my writing is suddenly sucky or I lost my talent or I'm not actually as great a writer as I was told because then why aren't more people commenting.
You might try to argue and say you're shy. Do you comment on order things? Do you tack onto a reblog to put out some addition to the original post? Do you chat with people in the fandom? Do you comment on fanart?
Then what makes a fanfic any different? (This is not including smut fics because I get but necessarily wanting it tied back to you. But if you open ao3 in a browser you aren't logged into ao3 on, you can (as long as the author has allowed it) post a comment anonymously. Yeah!)
You might say oh well I don't have time to comment right now. But you had time to read the fic? You had time to reblog that shit post? You had time to comment on the tags on a fanart you really loved? Thing is, unless you want to write a long one, comments do not take that long to leave. They really don't.
If you're worried the author doesn't want to hear from you—I'll stop you right there. The author ABSOLUTELY wants to hear from you.
So now is the time to stop making excuses to be lazy. You are reading really great fan literature for free. The least you can do as a thank you and to show support is to COMMENT. ON. THE. FIC.
And if you wanna really make an author's day and help support them and their work, REC the fic. REC the Author's work list. You can do that to friends you know would like it or even better, make a post about the fics and link your recs.
It's really not that hard and we should not have to beg. Realize the blessing you have that fics you would enjoy exist for free and do your part. COMMENT.
#okay off my soap box#thank you for your time#comment on fics#comment ao3#ao3#ao3 fanfic#twst#twisted wonderland#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#long post
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World's Worst Wingman Chapter 1
What's this??? A new fanfiction?????? This is totally unprecedented and totally wasn't hinted at yesterday before AO3 had their site crash! :-D
But! Here it is! My new DeadClaws (Wade Wilson/Logan Howlett) fanfiction! It's based very loosely on this post, about Logan acting as a wingman for Wade and Vanessa while Vanessa acts as a wingwoman for Wade and Logan. Since I'm me, it's not nearly as hilarious as that post sounds and is actually a lot more angsty, but! There is some humor to be found, at least. :-) I have four chapters written (in my notes I say only three, but I finished the fourth between writing that note yesterday and today, ha) so far and an idea for the fifth, but after that... we shall see, ha. I have an idea for an ending, but we'll see how many chapters I'll have in between.
Still! I hope y'all like it! I've been a Deadpool fan since before the first movie, even, and never thought I'd write Deadpool fanfiction given how tough a character Deadpool is to write. I struggled a little with him here, too, not gonna lie, but I think he's at least half in character, which is good enough! :-D
UPDATE: I decided to change the summary to get rid of the part of the fic I originally had there, ha. I only had that because I couldn’t think of an actual summary at first, but then I added that second part as an add on. But the more I thought of it, the more I realized that the add on… kinda works on its own. And it’s far less wordy and cumbersome on the eyes. So! That’s the summary now. Let me know if you preferred the old one or this one. :-)
You can find the story here
Summary
After seeing how supposedly heartbroken Wade is after Vanessa still doesn’t take him back, Logan decides to act as his wingman to help him win Vanessa back.
It’s just too bad that he doesn’t seem to realize just how unnecessary his services really are.
From the beginning
#Deadpool#Deadpool and Wolverine#Deadpool 3#Deadpool Fanfiction#Wade Wilson#James Logan Howlett#Logan Howlett#Wolverine#Wade Wilson POV#Wingman AU#My fanfic
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Man it's been a long time since I've done an ask cluster! Let's see if I can get some down...
He's an extremely fun character to write for and play with! So in that sense I'm fond of him, haha. He's such a huge disaster of a person, there's always something fun to do with him. Well "fun" in a relative sense.
I don't have anything to forgive him for, he didn't hurt me. |D He hurt the brothers!
I do have an idea for a cute feature inspired by Six-Eared Macaque! I should really sit down and do that already... and finish the one I half started but never finished...
I don't think my opinion on any of them changed! I love them all, haha. Which ones I drew comics about just depends on which ones I get ideas for really. Sometimes I get Alphys ideas and sometimes I get Goatparents ideas! Inspiration is fickle!
I don't have any solid plans or anything. :B Just gonna keep chugging along with silly comics and art! Work on Defrag and such. I'd like to finish a Ladyverse comic I've had lying around forever, and I had vague plans for doing a doujin for them too I could work on... and also seeing if I could format Handplates into a book format... I've always got a bunch of projects, haha.
It works on that level! It wasn't intentional though. |D
I do enjoy speculation! I don't really have much of my own though, I didn't predict anything in chapter 2 so now I'm assuming I can't predict anything in the future chapters either, haha.
Emesis Blue is great! Some really beautiful visuals in there, very striking! Love the mood of it too and a lot of the surreal imagery. I think it helped spur me back into TF2 again, haha. Medic and Scout's relationship was so cute.
I have thought about this! It has its share of challenges though... I outlined them more in this post. A pdf would be more doable though... could even include some extra stuff as well! Hmm...
I can see that! He'd probably spend as much time out in the rain as he could just doing whatever to stay outside.
It was pretty much always going to end like that. I always wanted it to end on a hopeful note! Which might seem weird with how dark it is at the beginning. I DID for a brief period at the very beginning of Handplates think about stopping with the Pacifist run, but that was only because I thought going where I wanted to go would take too long and already the project seemed so dauntingly huge at the time, haha. But it was always going to end in a positive way!
Gaster talks about what he originally intended to create here, and he explains a bit about the physical experiments he runs on the brothers here. They aren't really a solution in and of themselves so much as tools to try and find a way to break the barrier. Really though, Gaster got stuck in the sunk-cost fallacy lol.
I don't really have opinions about what canon Gaster would be like. |D Handplates Gaster is his own thing really. Canon Gaster, who knows! Deltarune Gaster, who knows! I will say I hope Gaster stays a mystery in Deltarune and never actually shows up but I think the odds of that are really low at this point.
I thought about doing a script along those lines! I did a few rough drafts of one, but it never really went anywhere... it'd end up dead-ending or kind of meandering off. I might see if I can get an actual script down for a side-comic or something in the future... it might be better suited for a fic.
I was just thinking about this lately! I was picturing Gaster totally forgetting about that until he sees Papyrus squinting and is like OH GOD YOUR EYES THAT'S RIGHT D: and goes to get him looked at lol.
I couldn't come up with a good idea for Flowey which is a shame, I do like him, haha. If one comes to me though I might make a little side comic about it!
Gaster's LV is complicated... his stats in-game are ludicrous if I recall correctly. Did he carry the damage from his murders into the void, even if those murders weren't his in the new timeline? Deep thoughts.
He fed them anything he could find, haha. Which is why sometimes they just ended up with chocolate bars (which he intended as dinner for himself). He probably fed them more often than he fed himself lol. He did feed them fairly regularly though.
Not about skeletons, probably. |D
Man I know I had an explanation for this but it was so long ago... it's hard for me to remember. It could be that the Riverperson is just weird and has weird insight into elements of things, had a prophetic dream... I don't know! It bugs me now that I can't remember this, haha.
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Ok. Thoughts on the Itoshi Sibs / their parallels with Isagi?
HELLO this took forever for me to answer because summer school and the sadness. as you know.
also i went too crazy with tying blue lock into my fixation with japanese nationalism so it got way too complex and i got scared but now i'm just gonna make that its own post (<- said the same thing about bsd. that analysis about bsd's connection with japanese nationalism has been sitting in my docs for a year now i think)
(smh this is what happens when the japanese imperial army almost wipes out your entire bloodline /gen /srs)
anyway. all that waiting to say that rin is... just some guy to me
usually a fw anime boys named rin. esp if they're the sworn rival of the plain protagonist. not necessarily this one though
i have no clue why he doesn't scratch my brain properly. he just doesn't. i need to spend a good three hours staring at the ceiling at night to figure that out
when you first sent me this i didn't really care for sae much either. now i do
that's how long this has been sitting in my drafts 😃😃
(i've written and scrapped thousands of words for this ask sob sob)
(this answer wasn't even formatted this way originally)
i've probably told you the story of how sae grew on me before but like
i don't plan out my fics right
i do play out random scenes in my head to test out if i like them or not
(shivers because updating my fic is another thing that is taking forever.......)
and i was just fucking around with random jokes kaiser and sae could say to each other
then i imagined sae smiling
and i was like "what the fuck... why is that so endearing........"
that was the turning point but it really was a lot of sitting and contemplating sae's character honestly
to really understand him and why he'd be friends with kaiser
and sae is kinda just like me frfr
that guy can't do anything other than soccer/football. he has nothing going on beyond that
and yeah. yeah... i get that.......
it's the reason why i like a bunch of other bllk characters but it's most pronounced with sae yk
(SORRY MR. SNUFFY)
and like. just his inability to be a normal fucking person 😭😭 too real
anyway those are my general itoshi brothers thoughts
now for the parallels part.
(this is the part that killed me and i wanna go more in-depth. but i'm saving that for another post. because holy shit my original idea was so fucking ambitious)
i had other thoughts and god i wish i wrote that stuff down
but the major thing i want to get into here is dependence
isagi is independent. soo independent it's kinda crazy
this was outlined most during the second selection with bachira where he had to learn to play by himself
meanwhile there's rin who seems independent on the surface
however, rin has always been dependent on sae in one way or another
when they were younger, rin was dependent on sae to take care of and guide him
rin also depended heavily on sae on the field
now that they are older, sae's attempt to shake rin off has just made rin's dependence on sae even more intense, just in a different way
rin's only motivation to play soccer/football had been to "crush" sae
...but now he's met isagi
and his obsession has found a new object
with the recent chapters, now we know he places isagi and sae on a similar level in his personal hierarchy, and his desire to destroy sae has bled into rin's feelings toward isagi
while rin has only one rival, the same can't be said for isagi
isagi gains rivals like pokemon, and while they have all played a significant roll in isagi's development as a person and a character, his obsession doesn't consume him. in the PXG vs BM match, he's doesn't fully comprehend the effect he's had on kaiser and rin
and mannn i wish i could find this analysis, but it's gone now
but someone compared isagi's desire to "devour" to rin and nagi's desire to "kill"
I WISH I COULD REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAID
but from what i remember, "devouring" someone is temporarily defeating them, but both parties ultimately improve so there's room for them to meet again and help each other improve even more
however, "killing" someone is defeating them completely so they're never able to play/improve ever again
which outlines the fact that while isagi can be a little bitch on the field, he wants his rivals to improve alongside him, and in the end, he wants the best for people (in terms of soccer/football)
which is why he never became overly-dependent on bachira and why he treats midfielders as actual human beings 😭😭
isagi is independent, but he pushes for the people around him to be just as independent
the itoshi brothers are different though
rin is codependent on sae, and you could say his hatred/obsession with isagi is a different type of codependency
but that thing about treating midfielders as human beings...
uh. that doesn't really apply to rin
sae is somewhat similar with how he "tamed" shidou but it's not THAT imbalanced lmao
there's also how the three of them are on different places of the striker-midfielder spectrum
in-universe and within the fandom, rin is perceived as japan's ultimate striker. his raw shooting power + metavision makes him perfect for this position.
however sae, another metavision user, is the perfect midfielder
then there's isagi who's tried emulating rin's play style at first but is ultimately most similar to sae, leading people to say that isagi is better suited to be a midfielder rather than a striker
while rin represents what the ultimate japanese striker is, something isagi is trying to reach, sae's path is one that isagi could easily fall down instead
many people have theorized that sae became a midfielder to improve rin's chances at becoming a better striker. sae may be considered to have a strong ego, but if this turns out to be true, that might not be the case lmao
errm. idk how to end this off. sorry for the wait sob sob
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heyyy im loving divorcing Orion black, it’s so good, I was wondering if you knew any other fics with a similar theme?? like other Harry Potter fix it fics
ooof! this is a really hard question to answer but i am happy to rise to the challenge hehe~
there are plenty of Harry Potter fix it fics out there however, i haven't been able to find one with similar themes to 'Divorcing Orion Black' -- actually, the reason i started writing the DOB series is because i was on a Harry Potter fix it fic binge and couldn't find one with my the specific tags i had in mind (oᗜo;) i.e marauder era fix it fic, focus on platonic relationships, massive hurt/comfort + fluff, sirius and regulus focused, badass reader, and inspired by reincarnation/transferring manhwas where the main character becomes the villainess/side character of a story they know very well - yup, it's a very specific criteria so i don't know why i thought i could find a perfect fanfic that meets all points out there (ಥ‿ಥ)
however, i do have some recommendations
✦ Time Warp | @astonishment
ugh! i love this fic so much, it's a time-travel, James Potter x Reader series that i would consider a fix it fic, it's so beautifully written and one that i sneakily go back to often just so my darling mal doesn't think im a creep for obsessing over her writing
✦ Oh God Not Again! | by Sarah1281 (fanfiction.net)
its old but a classic one that i'm sure many people have read and for good reason, it's a great read and still holds up well even now, i would say though that its focus is on Harry redoing the lightening era and is not set in the marauders era
✦ The Source of Grief | by withthekeyisking (ao3)
this is fairly short but incredibly well written where Harry goes back in time to fix the original time line under the alias of Hadrian Gaunt. it's only two chapters but its such an amazing read! i love re-reading it
✦ Three's Family | by darkbluedark (ao3)
this isn't a full fix it fic but it has the amazing potential to be the beginning of one and i adore it! the humour is amazing and the hurt/comfort + fluff is just so incredibly good! Harry and Draco travel back in time by accident and that's all im revealing hehe~
✦ Eight's Company | by darkbluedark (a03)
so i just found out that the 'Three's Family' fic has a continuation and i believe that this will be a full on fix it fic now! ugh! i can't wait to read its only two chapters and i look forward to it's continuation
these are just my personal recommendations, i'm gonna confess that i haven't had much time to read a lot of fix it fics since most of them have a lot of chapters but if you still want more recs, i assure you that there are many rec. lists out there for Harry Potter fix it fics - don't you just love this fandom? hehe~ (still hate the creator of it all though)
#☁︎ : kquil talks#🎏 : anon#harry potter fix it fic recommendations#🔎 : recs#harry potter fix it fics
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RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH I literally cannot put into words how much I loved the latest Damnation au chapter- I was literally seconds away from putting my phone down to get back to work but as soon as I saw a glimpse of the fic, I just couldn't help but put everything on hold
I was really impressed with how you included Epel into the story in a way that just about correlated to Epel in canon (like how he was actively opposed to hit position in the castle). Like taking into consideration of the time period and the possible reasons why Epel would be relevant there in the first place despite not being in the original tale- SO WELL DONE!! Not to mention Vil going out of his way to find potential successors really emphasizes his hatred for Neige (poor guy😭) Also the way you write about Rook??? I knew he'd be creepy but gyat damn your writing only increased the feeling of it ten-fold. Especially in that scene after he climbed through the window and interrupted MC and Vil- Literally foaming at the mouth i was like 'holy crap this is it, we're gonna get exposed' cause aint no way Rook WOULDN'T know. Everything about him was unnerving yet so charming?? I really don't know how you do it but the way you just write them is just so accurate👏
As a Vil simp, every scene with him in it had be giggling and kicking my feet✨ I was pleasantly surprised with his advances towards the MC though- like hubba hubba... I ain't complaining though! The tension in those scenes were just *chefs kiss* Every moment with him just oozed authority and power, like I'd be on the edge of my metaphorical seat just waiting for the moment he calls out the MC
Like holy crap you really know how to set your scenes- like legit every time I Rook or Vil were in a scene, it genuinely felt tense. Also props to MC for looking out for #1 (themselves) even at the expense of ruining someone else
Anyway excuse my rambling lmao i'm definitely gonna be re-reading it again ^^
Sounds like another happy reader. And yes, Epel's part was difficult. Mainly because, well, Epel is based off the poisoned apple, so how is he supposed to play that role? In my mind, the poisoned apple is a tool used by the Evil Queen. So, what is similar to a tool? A person to manipulate, which is how I came up with the idea of heir. Combined with the fact that Vil obviously takes a shine to Epel, as he spends time meticulously perfecting his habits and mannerisms in-game. Which fit the scenario I was to use, of a King claiming an heir and drilling instructions and behaviors in their mind to manipulate.
Rook and Vil were easy to place into roles, due to who they're based off of. But it was difficult coming up with scenes for them, since the Huntsman and Evil Queen don't have a lot in the movies. Especially the Huntsman.
For Rook, I actually considered writing a scene were MC followed him as he scoped out the meadow or the moment when Rook was to escort Neige to the meadow, but ultimately I decided against that as it would overcomplicate the plot and give more time to Neige instead of Rook. I needed a way to properly portray Rook's watchfulness and the unease it spawns, which I figured should fit the setting. A carefully worded conversation knit of lies and unsaid threats and fears is much more effective when the reader is picturing hollowed stone halls of a palace instead of a colorful meadow. At least, that was my thought process there, which is why most interactions with Rook are in settings such as those.
And finally, Vil, who I decided to write a few more interesting scenes for purely because I know a good amount of my followers love that pretty man. There were multiple concepts and scrapped ideas I've already forgotten by now, different things that never made it to my keyboard, like a tense dinner scene and back-and-forth bickering. But some of those just didn't fit the feeling I wanted, or was out of character for either the MC or others.
Anyways, now I'm rambling. Sorry. I hope the second read was just as enjoyable as the first!
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