#this file doesn't play in the apps
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grimes - the fool (nightcore) (Grimes (Official))
#SoundCloud#music#grimezsz#the fool#nightcore#the fool (nightcore)#mazzy star#fade into you#sample#2025#demo#unreleased grimes#lpf#for those who don't fw npf#if anyone is interested in returning to legacy post format using the old editor#i'd love to help#ack!#this file doesn't play in the apps#neither ios#nor#android#oh well#it works in browser#and the link works
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Reminder to download your saves to your files so you don't end up losing them for one reason or another 🙏
Once the game is fully completed I will make it downloadable so you can play it offline as well and won't have to worry about losing your save files, but until then, make sure to take precautions!
#saving/loading from your files also works on mobile btw#but only while playing the game through browser#the itch.io app doesn't like html or twine-based games it seems#faq
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Completely forgot I had downloaded the audio to LB's cover of Prince's "1999" and added it to my Spotify local files folder a while back. Was pleasantly surprised when it came on during my shuffle play. Best thing to happen to me today.
#it's the little joys in life you know#it rarely ever plays when I shuffle this particular playlist I'm listening to so I completely forgot I even had it on my spotify#of course I am listening to it on my laptop. usually I have the spotify app going off in my car & the downloaded file doesn't play on that.#anyways. don't mind me. just Lucy ramblings.#down the rabbit hole
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santos creates a new group chat, names it ⛔👑💊⛔ and proceeds to send dozens of innocent looking pics she snaps of kingdon together, in various situations, always with the caption: “langdon who is going to be divorced (in...?)” and several ellipsis come to life as everyone types back with a random timeframe.
it starts a trend. the others follow santos’ lead and start doing the same, playing private eye whenever the flow is calm. it's harmless fun. in the beginning, it's just a joke. really, it is. after a while, it's still a joke. mostly. but then... then langdon actually does separate from his wife. and, eventually, does get divorced. and then dana gets added to the group chat - no one comes clean, but santos is suspecting perlah, and she's known to have a nose for this shit. and that's when the bets start for real.
collins isn't in the group chat - she rejects the invite - but gets regular updates from dana. the pic saga continues, but the default caption changes to: “langdon who is going to remarry.” robby is blissfully unaware of the group chat but he's also been the live slug reaction meme personified the whole time, so there's that.
📱 garcia once sends a screen recording of langdon's phone - that she presumably sent herself first - of his home screen/lock screen that pans from his kids and dog to mel at a park;
🧋 shen once catches them at this new coffee shop downtown, mid bickering, as an annoying langdon attempts to get an annoyed mel to try something other than her usual order;
🎥 mckay goes to the movies with her dad and harrison one fine evening just to see them with mel's sister becca buying tickets and popcorn;
🌙 mohan once forwards what looks suspiciously like a surveillance type of photo abbot sent her of the two of them on the hospital rooftop, at night, gazing at the stars, shoulder to shoulder;
🩺 whitaker once sends a series of hurried blurry shots of them smiling stupidly at eachother as they jog around, in and out of patient rooms during a slower shift;
👀 javadi, as usual, forgets to turn on the flash, so no one really understands the intricacies of the ritual, but they're standing supremely and unnecessarily close as they talk while maintaining intense eye contact;
🧥 donnie clocks them whip quick at the ambulance bay this one time when langdon is insisting on giving mel his jacket because it got cold and she left hers inside her locker and there's no time to go get it before the patient arrives, mel!
🍮 jesse gets a good one of them at the cafeteria around lunch time, eating spoonfuls out if the same pudding cup in the background, with ellis front and center hooking a thumb over her shoulder at them with a knowing smirk;
💤 princess finds them in the break room after a rush, sitting on the couch, sharing ear buds, langdon's head on mel's shoulder, and mel staring at him as he slept instead of at her opened lava lamp app;
🚗 perlah once discreetly records scant seconds of them leaving together in langdon's car at the end of a shift from hell, langdon carrying mel's things and opening the door for her to groggily climb in, then turning the phone to get her own deadpan expression on camera;
��️ dana doesn't take any pictures because she's too busy being in charge of both the betting poll, the official excel file with all the pertinent names, dates, and amounts, as well as the photo album they're going to print and gift them with at the wedding, whenever the hell that ends up being.
#kingdon#im going to start posting all these bits because im sort of afraid my notes app is reaching maximum capacity#they have not left my brain one second from the moment i first saw them together in episode one is this a disease#mel king#frank langdon#the pitt#j's post its#EDIT: OH NO I FORGOT MATEO#melissa king#pitt crew#melfrank#mel x frank#frank x mel#frankmel#melangdon#langdonmel#mel x langdon#langdon x mel
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doll

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐦 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐦 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬. 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥. 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐞.
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jeong yunho x f!reader insert 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: jeong yunho has a secret. it is locked away in his apartment, away from the dorm, away from his close friends, and away from his idol lifestyle. it waits for him every night, and sends him off every morning. and he just can't wait to end his day and get his hands on his pretty little doll.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 17k 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: stockholm syndrome, captive!reader, kidnapper!yunho, manipulator!yunho, angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, degradation, manipulation, toxic relationship, touch deprivation, violence, light jumpscare(once), bondage, victim blaming, anger management issues, threats, blackmailing, petting, dry humping, dacryphilia, dumbification, praise, wax play, pet names, rough sex, unprotected sex, creampie 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: the reader isn't necessarily small or petite, yunho is simply that big and strong that compared to him she is written the way she is. :) not completely proofread!
𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲.
yunho detests being away for a long time. more than that, he loathes having to keep making up excuses and lying to his close friends just to go to his own apartment. the time digits on his phone screen do not change fast enough, and soon the man finds himself gnawing the inside of his cheek and thinking whether or not to tap on his most used texting app. he sits in his makeup chair, giving the makeup artist a hard time as his fingers itch to type a message to a certain someone.
"yunho, please stay still. i'll be done faster if you let me work." the woman begs. he sighs, and finally puts the phone in his pocket. at least tries to, before a notification stops him.
doll: yunnie doll: i miss you yunnie :( doll: [file attached]
yunho lowers the brightness of his phone screen, then the volume just in case. his fingers then eagerly tap on the file, and his eyes are met with a sight he will never get tired of seeing: a picture of your face, eyes glossy with tears, cheeks flushed, and lips a pretty pink shade, just how he likes it.
doll: be home soon, pretty please?
yunho: what did i say about being needy and impatient? i'll be there when i get there. behave.
doll: i will. i'm sorry.
he knows that he has worsened the situation. that your bottom lip is probably quivering right now, and fresh tears are threatening to spill down your rosy cheeks. and he doesn't hate it. he only hates that he isn't there to see it. satisfied with your lack of replies, he finally sets his phone aside and allows the artist to finish her job.

when yunho arrives at the apartment, he makes sure to turn the key slowly when unlocking the door. he doesn't turn any lights on, simply putting his jacket on the well memorised spot near the entrance and proceeding into the living room. the window is open, but yunho does not worry. you know better than that.
the place is spotless, which means that you really wished to catch him in a good mood today. and he likes when you work hard for him, cleaning his apartment, cooking for him, ironing his clothes. when he is happy, you are happy. and when you are happy, yunho has hit the jackpot.
in the corner of his eye, he notices a sketch pad and a few pencils neatly set on the corner of the window where you loved to sit. the absence of light meant only one thing; you were fast asleep. you probably tired yourself from crying, then tucked yourself in like usual.
the man's polished shoes lightly click against the spotless parquet floor, legs carrying him to the window where he has bought and installed a hanging chair for you. you loved to sink into the fluffy pillows under the blanket, big eyes looking outside where you know you are not allowed to go. but not once did you whine about it, instead thanking him for allowing you to look. he takes the sketch pad, slender fingers tracing the faint pencil lines on the white paper.
it is his face, from today's live they held before their comeback. when you texted him, you really did miss him. so much that you turned on the big tv which you never usually touch without him, turned on the youtube live and made multiple sketches of his face. you had even sneakily put a few hearts around his head, and a small one on his nose. at the bottom of each paper, your pretty handwriting; my yunnie.
he notices that the pencils are getting smaller from being used and sharpened much more lately. he will get you new ones as soon as possible, just so you don't stop and fall in a slump again. he loves when you do things that make you happy.
instead of going to the bedroom next, he proceeds into the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of whisky and for you – a glass of peach iced tea with four ice cubes. you love it when he brings it for you. even though he has bought packages and packages of the product, and you can drink it whenever yourself, it always tastes the sweetest when he brings it to you.
and he does, quietly setting it on the nightstand and taking a sip of his alcoholic beverage. he sets the short glass right next to your tall one with cherry blossom prints, before finally sitting on the bed.
your figure is half covered by the fluffy blanket he has brought you as a present from one of his tours. you had used it every day and night since, going as far as being whiny while it washed and dried. yunho didn't understand your love and attachment to an item like that, until you confessed one night, halfway asleep and a blubbering mess.
"you bought it for me. it means that you saw it and thought of me before doing that. you remembered me, yunnie."
and since then, yunho always looked for presents to bring you. but he was always rushed, and ended up buying you a lousy souvenir or a chocolate from the duty free shops. he promised himself to get you something even if it meant being late for his schedule next time.
the moonlight peeks through the blinds, illuminating your still flushed cheeks and smeared mascara. your tied up hands are hidden under the pillow where your head rests. softly, yunho pulls them from under it, fingers carefully undoing the knots he made himself. the knots which he crafted himself are thoughtfully put together and pretty against your skin. he was generous enough to let you pick the colour of the ropes, and your answer was always the same: lavender.
once your hands are free, yunho brings your wrists to his lips, pressing a sweet kiss to each one before turning his attention to your resting face. his fingers itch to caress you, to touch you, but he doesn't wish to disturb your peace.
he doesn't have to, because his scent envelops you, and before he can react, your nose moves like a bunny's one and your eyes open. he can't help the smile that spreads on his lips when he sees your excited expression, just before you throw yourself on him and try to wrap your arms around his shoulders and back. but he is big, much bigger than you, so you decide that wrapping them around his neck is good enough.
"you came." you exhale into his ear.
"don't i always?" yunho has to peel you away from him, and you whine as a protest. but the way his lips lose the playful curve and his eyes become serious make you bite your tongue as a punishment. regret washes over your features, and yunho is quick to grab your chin with his hand, pressing his thumb on your bottom lip. "be good." he warns.
"yes, sir."
and it's all it takes for yunho to soften again, taking you in his arms and standing up. "take the juice for me."
with one hand you hold onto his neck, making it easier for him to carry you, and with the other grab the glass of iced tea from the nightstand. as if it's hard for him to carry you; he is so strong you must be light as a feather to him. without questioning him, you relax in his hands, until you feel him sit and set you on his lap. a blanket is placed over your bare legs, enough to keep you warm as you sit in the hanging chair next to the window. the man takes the juice from your hand, setting it on the window next to the sketch pad. he doesn't ask about it yet, not wanting to pry unless you tell him yourself. he is happy you've returned to your little hobby.
"are you cold?" he asks, cupping your cheeks and then hands to check the warmth. when you shake your head, he presses a kiss to your forehead, lips a plush cloud against your skin. "my pretty girl."
you only smile as a response, still recovering from your sleep.
"you've been busy today." he notices the rearranged watch collection on the shelf below the television. the plants are refreshed, the once sagged leaves now proudly sticking up. "tell me about your day, bunny."
it wasn't unusual for yunho to sit you in his lap and ask about your day. in fact, it was your favourite part of the day. the way he listens and looks at you with his pretty eyes, nodding along to your never-ending sentences, and those unfinished ones that get interrupted with a fresh thought that you will forget if you don't say it immediately, scolding you and playfully pinching your thigh when you stop yourself mid talking and apologize for being annoying. yet lately, yunho doesn't come as often. what was once an every day routine was now a once a week occurrence. even then, he'd come and check on you, laid with you until you fell asleep, then sneaked off and disappeared into the night.
you hated it. you felt stupid, and lied to. he'd convince you that he left just before you woke up, that he stayed the whole night. but he didn't know that you felt his absence the moment he stood up from the bed. there wasn't much you could do anyway. as if he would listen. yunho is as stubborn as he is handsome. insanely.
"i vacuumed, mopped, cleaned out the fridge and threw out the expired products, put on fresh bedsheets, swept the balcony, watered the plants, rearranged your watch and game collection." you listed, head resting in the crook of his neck and eyes fixed on the ceiling. then, you stopped. and so did yunho's soothing circles on your thigh as he held your body close to his. you swallow, thinking of ways to continue before he can sense the shift in your behaviour. "i turned the tv on, watched you. you were very handsome today, yunho."
yunho hums, and for a moment, you relax and almost sigh with relief. the hand that doesn't hold you cups your cheek, pulling your head away from the crook of his neck and resting it on his shoulder so he can look at you. "who was at the door?"
your blood runs cold in your veins. yunho knows you like the back of his hand, and the flaw is in you for not knowing it well by now. you swallow slowly, eyes still locked with his dark ones, not daring to look away. "a man." you know better than to lie.
"what did he look like?" he presses, tone still calm. and it sends shivers down your spine. it is like the calm before the storm.
"i didn't see. i promised i'd never look."
"then how do you know it was a man?" the dark haired man tilts his head, raising his eyebrow.
before answering, your remind yourself that you are telling the truth, and that you should be calm. "he yelled your name."
"and what did my little doll do?" his hand drops from your cheek to your neck, slender fingers lightly grazing the skin just under your jaw before they completely wrap around the neck. the touch is gentle and soothing.
"i ran to the bedroom and hid under the covers. i was quiet, i promise." you are quick to offer him your pinky as a proof. but he simply shakes his head, then presses his lips to your temple.
"good girl."
the grip on your neck goes from light and loose to tight, growing stronger with yunho pressing the sides of it and making you look at him with confusion. "what-?"
your eyes widen as his grip intensifies, ridding you of oxygen slowly and already making you gasp for air. "if..." he starts, face close to yours. so close that his warm breath washes over your paling face, and lips barely brush against yours. "...you ever open the door, or even look through the window while somebody is there... you hear me?" his voice is a mere whisper against your mouth. you nod frantically, hoping that he releases you if you showed obedience. "yeah? i'll kill you."
"ye-es..." you choke out, tears spilling down your cheeks. small hands wrapping around his big one in hopes of stopping him, but to no avail.
"i didn't catch that." he presses further. "do you understand? if you ever think of getting out of here, or even manage to escape somehow, i will hunt you down and kill you."
you stop fighting back, instead opting for nods and silent tears. "i understand."
"if i can't have you..." he takes a look at your squirming and crying state one more time, then finally releases you. "...no one can."
a sob leaves your lips, and your hands are quick to reach your mouth, hoping that he didn't hear or at least sees your remorse.
but yunho doesn't say anything. instead, he pulls you close to him, his clothed body warming up your half naked one. "it's okay." he coos. "it's over."
"was i good?" you dare ask. you need to know that you didn't ruin what you built with him. that he didn't lose his trust in you. that he won't leave you alone for a month again in this place.
"you were perfect."
and that's all you need to hear to be calm. the peach juice waters down on the window as yunho lightly swings the hanging chair, lulling you to sleep with his voice and kisses to your cheeks and forehead.

the next time you open your eyes, you are angry and throw a tantrum. the sheets are on the floor, as well as pillows, and if yunho found you acting this way, he wouldn't be very pleased. but you are getting tired of him putting you to sleep and sneaking off. the mornings where you woke up next to him are long gone. your heart aches for those days.
there is only so much mess you can make with your wrists tied, so you give up on letting your frustration out on the faultless objects. with the fluffy blanket wrapped around your shoulders, you make your way to the living room and slump against the cushions on the couch. only after sitting up straight do you notice a small paper bag and a fresh glass of peach iced tea. the pink cursive writing on the bag makes your eyes almost sparkle from joy. it's been a while since yunho has brought you something from the bakery you absolutely adored.
you don't bother with keeping the bag, instead ripping it in half and using it as a plate for the sweet treat. two eclairs: a pink one and a green one. raspberry and pistachio, just how you used to eat in the mornings with him. he'd get the pistachio for himself, and raspberry for you. and you always wanted a bite of his, and then regretted your raspberry one because his tasted better. and he was always happy to exchange it with you.
not once did he complain about you always ordering the same and regretting it. not once did he refuse to let you have a bite. not once did he say no when you wanted to switch with him. not once did he bring two pistachio eclairs. and you might've become spoiled because of things like that, and even though both of you knew it, none of you said anything about it, because you were both equally guilty. you for pushing him, and him for indulging.
but it worked. it always did. that's why you aren't sure why yunho has suddenly distanced yourself from him. you're trying to be good for him, take care of yourself for him, even go as far as leaving windows open as a sign that you could run away if you wanted to, but you won't. at least that's what you liked to think. deep down you knew that yunho would find you even if you dug yourself a grave and hid under a fake tombstone. he'd find you, and then... you don't want to think about it.
but you have no reason to run. he takes care of you. you are his little doll, and your only task is to be pretty and obedient. but lately, you only have to do that two or three times a month. the rest of the days you die of boredom, cleaning the place, rearranging the fridge, turning the furniture around so that the place looks different and fresh. you are running out of ideas.
now, as you flip through the channels on the television, you are working up the courage to tell him how bored you are. maybe ask for netflix or disney. you are tired of watching the same youtube content over and over again. you can feel your brain rotting as you try to keep up with the recent famous youtubers. a movie would've been more educational at least.
as you eat the pink eclair, you scroll on the phone yunho has gifted you recently, with a promise of you not texting or calling anyone else but him. he can track your activity, and has limited your access to certain sites and apps, which leaves you with a few games that don't require network and a music app. it helped with your boredom, but nothing will ever be as interesting as having him around.
your fingers work faster than your brain, and you end up entering the one and only conversation on the screen.
doll: you left :(
it was always schrödinger's cat with him. he will either get mad at you - like yesterday - or indulge in your whiny and pouty behaviour as he secretly enjoys it. the one way to find out is by opening the box - text him.
yunho: my schedule is packed, sweetheart. you know that.
doll: when will i be a part of your schedule?
yunho: don't push it
doll: but i miss you so much
doll: can i please please please call you? pretty please? just for a minute?
on the other side of the screen, at the other end of the city, yunho sighs. it seems you've become more impatient and needy lately, and he knows he is at fault. you wait for him all dolled up, only to fall asleep because he always arrives so late. then, you talk for a while, and he lulls you to sleep before he has to run back to his dorm.
he taps on the phone icon in the corner of the screen after checking whether anyone is paying attention to him in the dressing room. he is the last in line to get dressed, which gives him more than a minute that you asked for so nicely. he can't say no to you. not when he misses you too. but he'd never say it to you out loud.
you pick up after the first ring, and yunho can almost hear the wide smile as you greet him. "yunnie!"
"hi, sweetheart." his heart swells at your still raspy voice. you must've just woken up. "did you have breakfast yet?"
"i only ate the raspberry one."
"oh you naughty little-" yunho purses his lips. "so the pistachio is only good if it's taken away from me, huh?"
"maybe. i took a bite. it's really not as sweet as when i steal it from you." you playfully reply. "but, yunnie..."
"hmm?"
"i actually wanted to ask you something."
"ask away doll. what can i do for you?"
"next time you come over..." you hesitate before continuing. "would you bring me a book or something? pretty please? i get bored when you're not around."
"oh." yunho says, surprised at the odd request. he didn't know what he was expecting. perhaps that you'd ask him if he'd untie you. or something that he surely wouldn't allow. but he forgot how perfect and loyal you are to him, and how much he has lowered your standards. "of course. anything specific?"
"not really. you pick!" you are so happy that you'll get a book that you don't even care which one it is. "no scary ones, please."
the dark haired man chuckles into the phone. in the corner of his eye, he notices the group leader eyeing him as he gets dressed. yunho's smile drops, and he is forced to end the conversation. "i'll see you soon. don't go late to bed tonight. you need your beauty sleep."
"oh. leaving already?" he hears you pout. he'd give anything to playfully tug your bottom lip right now. "alrighty then. i'll go back to missing you until you come again. which is, what, in a week?"
"be good for me." he orders sternly. "no sassing me. and no tantrums."
"no tantrums."
"and no sassing."
"and no sassing, blah blah."
"dollie. i'm serious." he turns around so that his back faces hongjoong. the older man has taken a great interest in yunho's conversation. "be a good bunny for me."
"yes, yunho."
"good."
just before he lowers his phone to hang up, he hears your faint voice. a mere whisper, which he wasn't supposed to hear. but he did. "i love you, yunnie."
and it fucking shatters him and ruins him inside out.
"dumb little doll." he sighs, looking at the wallpaper of the chat of you dressed in his favourite outfit with two pretty ribbons attached to your hair.

jeong yunho didn't expect his schedule to end so early. tomorrow is monday - his day off. technically, his time off starts now, as he steps into the library at the great city mall. and he makes the most of it. a basket securely hangs from his hand, already halfway filled with books with eye-catching covers and interesting plot summaries on the back. you'll love these, no doubt. and even if you don't, yunho won't hesitate to come back and buy more.
he forgot how dull it is for you to stay in that apartment all day and all night. the least he can do is help you find another hobby while he is not there with you. though, he is working on being less absent. but no matter how much he tries, his work schedule seems to track his brain, because they love swamping him with new interviews and variety shows every time he even thinks of having time off. this time he will be careful not to complain much around the staff about his free time.
at the same time as him, someone reaches for the last book he had his eyes on. it was this month's bestseller, all over tiktok, and he needed to buy it. but so did the person next to him, because they held onto it and weren't planning on letting go any time soon. yunho sighs. he truly isn't in the mood for this right now.
just as he gets ready to scold the person, he notices that it is a woman. a young one. a pretty one. so instead of angry words he was ready to spew, yunho simply smiles. "hi."
"hello," she greets back. "my, you've got good taste."
both of them glance at the basket in his hand. the basket that is meant for you. yunho's smile quickly fades, replaced by a serious face and confusing the woman in the process. "it's for my girlfriend."
"oh." disappointment is evident in her voice. she lets go of the book, then opts to look at the shelves instead of the man so she can hide her frown. "well, she'll be very happy with that book."
"she will." yunho smiles to himself, imagining your excited face as you go through the books.
"you must love her very much. that is a lot of money in that basket-"
"that is none of your concern." his brows are furrowed when he looks at the blonde woman. what is it with love talk today?
"oh. you don't love your girlfriend?" she is confused once again.
her confusion is then replaced by fear, caused by yunho who grabs her by the neck and slams her against the shelves. "take your little book and mind your own fucking business. got it?"
he shoves the book into her hands. the woman nods frantically, eyes glossy with tears and hands shaking as they hold the book. finally, yunho lets go of her. the book is dropped on the ground, and she bolts for the door. only then does yunho realize what he has done. but there is nothing he can do about it. thankfully, he wears his mask. he gets to keep his job another day.
yunho spends more time at the mall than he intended. three hours later, he is finally putting the key in the lock and entering his apartment. you jump at the familiar sound, and he hears your footsteps all the way from the bedroom. he sets the bags on the floor just in time to catch you into a hug.
"hi, doll." he coos. you only hum in response, burying your head into the crook of his neck and inhaling the faint traces of his perfume. he smells of vanilla and musk, with a hint of sweat. and you love every bit of it. nuzzling your nose against the sensitive area on the neck right under his ear, you can't help but sigh with content. yunho chuckles, before lightly squeezing your sides as a sign to let go of him.
you do so, without whines or tantrums this time. he wasn't supposed to come for another week, and he has graced you with the sudden visit. and you will make sure he doesn't regret it.
"i want you to go to the bathroom and freshen up while i prepare something." he orders with a kiss to your forehead.
"yes, yunnie." you obey, already on your way to the bathroom.
it doesn't take you more than ten minutes to take a quick body shower, put on a new comfy sleep dress, and put your hair in a hair clip how he likes it. you almost skip through the hallway, the cold autumn air chasing your bare legs until you reach the bedroom where yunho hides. but when you open the door, he isn't there. only a few paper bags on the bed, and a box with a bow on top and small holes poked on the sides.
not sure if you can touch without him, you opt for sitting on the bed and waiting patiently for him. while he is gone, you glance at your chipped nail polish. you should've asked him for polish remover instead. you accidentally spilled it when you foolishly tried to multitask by watching television and painting your nails. does yunho notice things like that? will he say anything about it? what if you just paint over it? will it look bad?
your thinking is interrupted by the tall man entering the bedroom, with two glasses in his hands. one with whisky, and one in similar colour to it. you know it's your iced tea; its sweet scent envelops the room as soon as he sets it on the nightstand.
"my patient doll." he praises with a kiss to your head. his fingers find their spot under your chin, raising your head so that you look up at him. his other hand reaches for your hair that you have neatly pulled back into the hair clip. with a single motion, his finger hooks into a few strands of it, setting them free from the clip and letting them frame your face. "so pretty."
if you could physically melt on the bed right there and then, you would. the way yunho looks at you makes your brain mushy, and your legs weak. after all this time, he still has that effect on you.
"i got you something." he motions for you to stand up, then sits down and pulls you into his lap. your back rests against his chest as his does against the bed frame. you sit cross-legged, making space for the bags so you can reach them easier. he takes the box first, pulling it between his legs that hold you securely and in front of you. "go on, open it."
all the hesitation is gone as soon as he gives the green light. the bow is shoved aside, and so is the lid. a gasp leaves your mouth at the sight.
two light brown ears perk up at the newfound light, and soon enough, a snout peeks out of the box. it sniffs, and sniffs, until it gets the courage to climb out of the box and flips it over, trapping itself under it. yunho removes the box and throws it on the floor, causing both the animal and you to jolt lightly. then, he takes the almost hand sized rabbit in his hand, holding it for you to take.
"it's a rabbit."
"yes, love. it's a rabbit." he confirms.
"it's so cute."
"i know." he kisses your cheek. "a bunny for a bunny. now you'll have a little companion when i'm away."
you carefully take it in your hands, testing the waters. it is pure fluff in your hands, as soft as yunho's hair after a shower. a little ball of fur with two big eyes and big floppy ears. and it is all yours.
"what will you name her?"
"dawn." you have your answer ready.
yunho laughs fondly. "dawn?"
"it's my favourite part of the day." yunho then remembers you telling him how much you prefer sunrises over sunsets. sunsets make you sad. they mark the end of the day. and you hate when things end. dawn brings a fresh day, and the sun is as pretty when it rises as it is when it sets. "thank you, yunho. i love it."
"don't thank me, love. you deserve more than that for being so obedient for me. now go through the rest of the presents. i'll keep your bunny safe while you do it."
"uh..." you look at your tied wrists.
he manages to untie the knot with a single hand, keeping the rope in it and playing with it while you start digging through the bags. with each book you pull out you let out a squeal of excitement. if it weren't for yunho, you would've stayed up all night reading.
but he had other plans once you finished exploring, taking your hand in his and pulling you back into his lap. the bunny is fast asleep on the pillow next to him, making you his main point of attention. the last book is still in your hands, fingers flipping through illustrated pages of the limited edition and eyes gawking at it. the smell of whisky fills your nostrils, and you look up and find him taking a sip.
"what does it taste like?" you wonder.
yunho doesn't answer. instead, he brings the glass to your mouth, pressing the edge against your lips. "small sip. a tiny one."
you listen, keeping your lips closed so that only a small amount of liquid can pass through. something about this is so intimate: him holding you in his lap as you wear your sleep dress, a book in your hands, making you drink from his glass, not breaking eye contact as you do so.
and yunho's view is to die for. you look at him with those pretty eyes of yours, completely under his control and trusting him. your lips finally touch the whisky, and tongue barely peeks to taste it. you pull away, shutting your eyes and pursing your lips in disgust. "eugh."
yunho laughs, then downs the glass before putting it on the nightstand. "let's stick to your peach iced tea, hm?"
you nod in response. then, yunho finds the second light switch above the bed frame, turning it off. the moon is almost full, resting its silver rays on the bed and lighting up yunho's face. you'll never get over how insanely handsome he is. he is almost unreal. sometimes you even ask yourself whether he is a fruit of your imagination from staying alone for so long. no man you've met was this majestic: with hair as black as a raven, eyes dark and shiny as a starry night, porcelain skin, pretty nose with a little bridge where he rests his glasses, and oh, the prettiest pink lips. many times you've found yourself gazing upon his lips as he spoke or ate. and many times you wanted to close the distance as he held you on his lap while he read something or simply scrolled on his phone.
but you can't. yunho doesn't like being touched. at least that's what you gathered from the way he jumps when you try to remove a fallen eyelash from his cheek or straighten a sticking strand of hair. yunho gets very jumpy if you even hug him without warning. and you like to think that he is like that with everyone. that you aren't the issue.
but no matter how he behaves towards you, whether he is distant or can't keep his hands off you, he is still royally beautiful.
"thank you, love. you're not bad yourself."
blush creeps up your cheeks. you didn't mean to say it out loud. but yunho doesn't mind, and instead pulls a cover over both of you and sets the book aside. your legs are cold against his warm ones, still clothed. "won't you change?"
"i'm too lazy." he admits.
"can i change you?" you offer, sitting up and leaning on your elbows.
yunho smiles, eyes still closed. "i'd like to see you try."
in no time, you find his dark blue silk pajamas. that's the easy part. the hard part is yet to come. yunho is strong, and heavy. and big. blush warms up your cheeks once again as your hands find the hem of his turtleneck. he looks dashing in the tight turtlenecks and slacks. but right now, you'd rather see him comfortable. he deserves it after all the hard work.
he only helps you by raising his hands and head in the air just enough for you to pull the top off. you drink in the sight of his muscles, while his torso is covered by an undershirt. you pull the pajama top over his head, then his arms, and finally fix the collar. your eyes then fall on his belt. swallowing thickly, your fingers unbuckle it, and it causes yunho to grab your hands and stop you.
"i'll do it."
"what? why?" you're disappointed.
"i'll do it faster. i'm getting pretty sleepy, we should go to bed."
no amount of pouting convinces him to let you continue. he is out of his slacks and into the pajama bottoms in no time, giving you no time to sulk on the bed. he scoops you in his arms, throwing the fuzzy blanket over both of you.
"good night, bunny."
"whatever." you mumble into his chest.
the hand that rests on your lower back sinks to your bottom, pinching it lightly. you squeal, jolting away from his hand and further into his body. "behave."
"sorry." your voice is a mumble again. "yunnie?"
"go to sleep."
"but yunho." you whine, fingers playing with the buttons of his top.
he sighs. "yes?"
"what am i to you?"
that yunho cannot answer. simply because he has worked so hard on the relationship you two have. if he tells you, he might ruin the illusion. and you might remember. you might remember that it is not normal to be tied up and locked in a stranger's apartment. after all, you don't know the true him. that makes him a stranger to you. he has ridden you of any desire you had to escape, and instead made you depended on him. he has destroyed you, scared you so bad to the point that you started seeing a friend in him. he doesn't know whether you woke up one day and accepted your fate and decided to play along with his sick and twisted games of emotions and obsession, or simply had a switch in your brain click and made you the way you are right now. a loyal and obedient little pet for him to gawk at, dress up however he wishes, and keep locked away where nobody can find it.
he knows it's not normal. he knows his sins. and he knows that behind the loving eyes you give him that there is hate pushed down so deep, scared to make an appearance. he has pushed it there with his own actions. he also knows that just because he recognizes his flaws doesn't make him less guilty. moreover, it makes him even more evil. he knows, yet he doesn't stop.
he wishes he can, really. he wishes he can untie you, let you go, live a normal life, find a girlfriend, stop sneaking out of his dorm at late hours and return at early ones. hell, he could've asked you out on a date instead of putting his hand over your pretty mouth behind the concert stadium and drag you into his car. but then everybody would see you. somebody might even want to take you away from him. and yunho can't allow that. you are his to see, his to touch and his to keep.
you belong to him, heart and soul.
"does it matter?" his voice comes out as annoyed, but it doesn't affect you.
"a little." you admit. "you don't kiss me, but you give me affection other ways. what does that make us?"
it makes you my prisoner, and me your captor. you just don't know it yet. or maybe you've grown blind to it. maybe i've broken your perception of how things actually are. maybe i've convinced you that this all is normal.
"i'm sorry, i shouldn't have asked." you notice how tense he is under your touch. "good night."
but yunho doesn't want to leave you without an answer. he kisses your temple, then your cheek, and finally, your ear. his lips stay there, brushing against the sensitive ear shell as his warm breath tickles you. "you're mine. that's all that matters."
"are you mine?" you ask.
yunho sighs, pulling you closer to him and completely wrapping his arms around your shivering body. "good night, doll."

you wake up in a cold and empty bed again. excluding the curled up rabbit next to you.
and you are furious.
blinded by rage, you reach for your phone, not even noticing that your hands are still untied. usually he'd tie them up while you are halfway asleep or completely asleep as to not disturb you. before you can press the call button next to his name, the bathroom door opens, revealing the man you were about to scold. he has discarded his sleep top, leaving him only in bottoms and a sleeveless undershirt.
"thought i heard you wake up." he smiles. "come, let's get you ready for the day. i let you sleep in enough."
the phone is forgotten in the blanket, and your legs carry you into the bathroom. he has a toothbrush in his mouth, and his hair is a fluffy mess. you love when he looks this soft. he is less intimidating. not that you are scared of your yunho. he wouldn't hurt you. only if you give him a reason to.
noticing your bare feet on the cold tiles, the man picks you up and places you on the counter near the sink. he hands you your own toothbrush after he squirts the paste on it. comfortable silence swallows the small bathroom, the only sounds being the teeth brushing and yunho's light humming to a song as he stands between your legs that hang from the counter, swinging along with yunho's song. his hand rests comfortably on your thigh, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the exposed skin below the dress.
you've noticed he loves your thighs. to touch them, to pinch them and caress them. and you don't mind. in fact, you love that he can't get his hands off you. it makes you feel attractive. you hope you are attractive to him. sometimes it doesn't feel like that. you look at him with loving eyes, and he... he looks at you like you're his most prized possession. you're just an eye candy. a doll he comes to play with and dress her up just to feast his eyes. perhaps the fault is in you. you don't attract him enough. it could be your appearance. you should switch from the comfy silk sleepwear he has gifted you in every colour so you can be comfortable around the house into something more appropriate and mature. or maybe it was your behaviour. you are so depended on him that you often end up feeling extremely childish.
yet he insists that he loves doing everything for you. he loves to see you in the pastels. he loves when you ask him for help. and he loves making you ask for help by closing the jars too tight, or putting the glasses on the top shelves where you can't reach even if you climb on a chair.
"hey." his finger playfully taps your nose, noticing you have stopped brushing. "where did you go?"
you shake your head, ridding your brain of the thoughts for a while. "sorry. were you saying something?"
"i said," he takes the toothbrush from your hand and continues brushing your teeth for you, holding your jaw in his palm and head in place, then continues talking, "we have a busy day ahead of us."
"sho... you're shtaying all day?" you mumble with foam in your mouth.
"i'm all yours today." he finishes brushing, then motions for you to spit in the sink. you do so, earning yourself a playful pat on the head. "good girl."
"you have a little stubble." you notice, fingers reaching to touch the short hairs on his face. it is not often that yunho lets you touch him like that, so when your hand cups his cheek, you are surprised when he simply looks at himself in the mirror with furrowed eyebrows. he doesn't remove your hand, and you savour every second of it.
"suppose i do. i should shave it off." the man runs both toothbrushes under the warm water, then sets them in the cup next to each other. his dark blue one with black bristles is a funny contrast to your lavender one with white bristles. it's like they resemble the two of you. maybe that's why he bought them. "want to help me?"
"help you?" you raise your eyebrow. he doesn't answer. instead, he hands you his razor, showing you how to properly hold it. while he smears the shaving foam on his face, you can't help but take secret glances at his exposed arms. he notices, then looks down at his undershirt.
"right, i should probably take this off." with one single motion, the fabric lands on the floor and he steps on it. you are left gawking at his bare torso. he doesn't usually undress in front of you. this is the first time you see his defined body. he looks absolutely dashing, and the sight makes your stomach feel fuzzy. you instinctively try to close your legs, but forget that he is standing right between them. "come closer."
you are now sitting on the edge of the counter, and if it weren't for yunho's hands holding your thighs and keeping your body steady, you would've kissed the cold tiles below his feet. he guides one of your hands to his face, then lets you figure it out on your own. you hesitate. "what if i cut you?"
"well... try not to, i guess." he shrugs. "i want to be pretty for you too. just as you do for me."
as gentle as possible, you swipe the razor over his cheek. it leaves a smooth trail behind, without any red lines or spots. little by little, your smooth faced yunho appears, and so does a smile on your lips. with one final swipe, you finish, not cutting him once in the process. "all done!"
"good job, bunny." he praises with a kiss to your forehead. "come on now, let's get you dressed. as i said, we have a busy day ahead of us."
when yunho said busy, you thought he meant cleaning the house or helping him with something. not standing in line at an amusement park with your hands untied. you haven't been outside in forever, if you exclude the balcony. today, yunho has decided to surprise you with a trip to an amusement park. he looks comfortable and fresh, wearing a simple black t-shirt with black ripped jeans, a leather jacket and sneakers. beside him, you are dressed up in his hoodie and his sweatpants, and his denim jacket. somehow, your clothes have been disappearing little by little, leaving you with only sleepwear. does it have anything to do with the fact that he likes to see you in the pastel sets he keeps bringing over instead of actual clothes? no, of course not.
yunho did make you promise him a few things before exiting the house:
no distancing yourself from him
no talking to other people
no looking at other people
no going anywhere without asking him first
no yelling each other's names
keep the sunglasses on your face
have your phone in your hand at all times in case anything happens and one of you needs to get a hold of each other.
and you happily agree. you wouldn't do the opposite even if he didn't make you promise all those things. yunho is all you have, and without him, you'd be overwhelmed and lose yourself. the place is enormous, everything shining bright into your eyes and looking the same. no wonder people get lost there all the time. or perhaps you're just used to the dark apartment that seems to be getting smaller and smaller each day you wake up.
"what would you like to do?" he asks once he shows the tickets at the entrance and guides you inside.
"me?" you are confused. "i- i don't know."
"we have two hours to have fun. we'll do whatever your heart desires."
"really?"
the eyes you give him as you look at him all excited is the reason yunho has you all to himself. those same eyes that have looked at him from the first row at the concert, and he could not look away. you smiled so bright at him when he gave you attention, and when he saw you outside of the stadium, he knew he had very little time. and he knew he had to take you for himself. you were so sweet, and so pretty. simple things excite you, and the sight of you almost beaming is what warms yunho's heart. then, he starts to think that he might've made a mistake by bringing you here. someone could see you, and take you away from him.
no. he will not allow it. he'd rather kill you than let anyone else have you. and that's a promise he made to himself the first night he tied the pretty knots on your wrists.
"yunnie...?" your voice pulls him out of his thoughts.
"hm?" he brings his attention back to you. your eyes have lost the excited glint, and are now filled with worry. his sudden serious face must've scared you. "right. what did you want to do?"
"can i try that?" you point towards a stand.
yunho isn't surprised when he turns around to see big stuffed animals hanging from the stand, and multiple small ones arranged on the shelves against the wall behind the vendor. "do you want to play by yourself?"
"can i?"
"you may."
you roll your eyes at his correction. but before he can scold you for it, you squeeze his hand and drag him to the stand. the game seems simple enough: three balls to throw, and three pyramids of different objects to topple. yunho pays the vendor, then stands aside and lets you focus.
"go pink koala." you whisper, keeping the balls close to your chest. you don't miss yunho's chuckle from the side. "hush! i'm concentrating."
but no amount of concentrating got you the big stuffed koala. even yunho was getting irritated as time passed by. not with you, but with the vendor. "are you kidding me?"
you stop mid throw, eyes darting to the tall man in fear. you haven't done anything wrong. ...have you?
"you're telling me that those plastic cups didn't budge?" he approaches the counter.
the vendor shrugs. "are they down?"
"well, no-" yunho starts.
"oh so you aren't blind. just stupid."
oh no.
you can almost hear yunho's blood boil beside you. your hands instinctively wrap around his arm, hugging it to your body. "yunnie."
"step back." he orders.
and you do, letting go of him. to anyone looking, that would've seem mean and horrible. but you know why he told you to stay away. he doesn't want to hurt you.
"you're telling me," yunho takes a ball from your hand, "that this ball," he aims for the vendor, "didn't even budge those plastic cups?" and hits him right in the forehead.
when yunho is loud, you aren't as scared. it is when he is calm that you are terrified. and right now? he is as calm as the stuffed animals sitting on the shelves behind the man who holds his forehead. yunho crouches to the floor, enough to pick up a ball sized stone. he aims for the first pyramid of plastic cups, and throws with such strength that it manages to bring them down. he takes a second one and does the same with the glass bottles, breaking them and sending shards flying everywhere. the third rock hits the clay mug at the bottom of the pyramid, causing it to ruin the balance of the rest of them and fall to the ground with a crashing sound.
"okay, okay!" the short vendor is desperate. "take the fucking prize and leave my stand!"
"with pleasure." yunho smiles with satisfaction. you don't have time to look at him in awe because he picks you up on his back and approaches the hanging stuffed animals. "go on, angel. help yourself."
your hands know where to go, immediately grabbing the pink koala that is half your size. when yunho doesn't set you down, you look at with a raised eyebrow.
"that's all you want?"
"i can take more...?" your eyes dart between the terrified vendor and an amused yunho.
"we can take the vendor if you want."
you're not sure what is funnier:, yunho's laid back attitude or the vendor's face. in one thing you are sure: you are taking that big grey elephant.
if someone had told you yesterday that today you'd freely walk around outside with yunho by your side, both carrying a big stuffed animal that made every child passing by jealous, you'd say ha, i wish. if someone had told you that today you'd hold hands with yunho as you pass by various stands and he offers to buy you anything from it, you'd say ha, you're crazy. and if someone told you that after a rollercoaster and a haunted house yunho would take you to the ferris wheel and demand that the cabin isn't to be shared with anyone, you'd say ha, your imagination is wild.
yet here you are, sitting inside the cabin high on the ferris wheel, stuffed animals sat across from you and leaning against each other. yunho sits by your side, a cup of chocolate chip ice cream that you have picked just before getting in line in his hand. there was a no food allowed sign, but yunho would rather fight the teen boy in charge of checking tickets than see your disappointed face again when you read the sign. luckily, a single glare from yunho was enough to stop the boy mid sentence as he read it out loud.
"i can feed myself you know." you pout as he brings the plastic purple spoon to your mouth. he specifically asked for that colour.
"i know." he simply replies.
"then... may i?" you reach for the paper cup, but he pulls it away. "please?"
"why?" he brings the spoon to his mouth once it starts melting off it as to not stain your - his - clothes. you blush furiously, the thought of eating off the same spoon as him making your stomach fuzzy. "i like to pamper you. besides, dolls need maintaining."
"they also need to be played with more often." you cross your arms over your chest.
he doesn't respond, instead offering you another spoonful of ice cream. you are distracted by his piercing gaze, unable to look away. it leads to you almost missing the spoon, making most of the ice cream land on your lips rather than between them. and it's like something switches inside of him. his gaze drops from your eyes to your lips, and his hands set the cup down.
"do you have a napkin? i'm a mess-" you start licking your lips. before you can wipe the rest with the sleeve of the hoodie, yunho stops you by grabbing your wrists with one hand and looking deeply into your eyes, just before pushing you down on the seats with his other one on your chest so that you are laying with him on top. "what- what are you doing?"
"stay still." his voice is a mere whisper, a warm breath against your face. you gulp, a little louder than you intended. but he doesn't laugh. his face doesn't change. it is dead serious, with his brown eyes becoming as dark as his raven hair. his pupils are so diluted that they give the illusion of turning black. and you're not sure whether it is good or bad in this situation. "dollie..."
you lay perfectly still. the wheel has stopped, letting the visitors enjoy the view and take pictures. yunho, however, couldn't care less. not when he has you pinned down below him, hair beautifully splayed out, cheeks pink with blush, and eyes shiny and curious. and that damn ice cream on your bottom lip. he closes his eyes, then leans his forehead against yours. his nose gently brushes against yours, sending shivers down your spine and almost making you shudder. that, along with the way his one hand effortlessly holds both your wrists pressed into the leather seats has you seeing stars.
"fuck," he sighs against your lips. "fuck, what are you doing to me?"
"did i do something wrong?" the question is genuine.
"no, no." he shakes his head. "no. you're perfect. you're gorgeous. you're everything a man could ever want. you're everything i want."
he pulls away for a split second, eyes roaming your face for any signs of discomfort. when he doesn't see any, he licks his lips, then gulps.
"you're making me weak." his voice is velvet in your ears, gentle and soothing. his free hand moves the loose strands of hair out of your face, caressing your cheek in the process and continuing the path to your jaw to cup it. "and you don't even know it."
his plush lips capture your bottom one between them, tongue swiping across it to lick the ice cream off. you shudder beneath him, body arching off the seats and finding comfort against his warm chest. his hand lets your wrists go, as well as your jaw, only to find their comfort on your waist. you've never done this. yet your hands seem to move so naturally towards his hair, fingers sneaking between the soft locks and gently massaging his scalp as he nibbles on your bottom lip. a rush of heat takes over your stomach and the space between your legs. the feeling so good and new, yet so empty. you need more of him. you crave him now more than ever.
when he pulls away, it is because he needs to catch his breath, and so do you. his lips have turned a darker shade, and are so inviting to touch. and you do so, allowing yourself a moment of braveness. digits reach for his plump lips, the touch so light that yunho's lashes flutter. he can't help the desire that takes over his body and mind, pinning you further against the seats with his body and squeezing your bare waist underneath the hoodie. "you're killing me."
"how?" you didn't mean for your voice to come out so... pathetically raspy. you clear your throat. "is that bad?"
yunho chuckles in between shallow breaths. "god, you're so precious."
his lips lock with yours once again, leaving small and gentle kisses on them. until your tongue shyly peeks out to try the waters and be smooth like him. and it sends him over the edge. it makes him sit up straight and pull your body with him so that you sit on his lap, legs spread and resting on each side of him. one of his hands snakes further underneath the hoodie and follows a trail up your spine, feeling up your bare skin that burns and shivers beneath his metal rings. yunho can't keep his hands to himself anymore. he kisses you deeply, with his tongue chasing yours and seeking for a taste of you.
you taste him too, enjoying the mix of the chocolate chip ice cream and him. and he tastes better than you've ever imagined. he is intoxicating, leaving you yearning for more each time he pulls away to breathe. your body responds to him, seeking the warmth of his and aching to be held and touched. you are touch starved, and he is at fault. he might be able to redeem himself. especially when his lips take a detour from yours and continue down your jaw and to your neck. his hot tongue swipes down it, following an imaginary line and lightly grazing his teeth against your sensitive skin.
"yunnie..." you wish to call his name, but it comes out as a breathy moan. "please."
yunho pulls away, gulping once again. "what?" he breathes out.
"i- i don't know." you admit. "i need something. i need you."
"doll." he warns. "you can't say things like that."
subconsciously, your bottom lip sticks out in disappointment. you already know that he will playfully tug at it. except this time, he doesn't. he looks you with a gaze so intense that it makes you feel the smallest in the world. "sorry."
"love," the man sighs, regretting his tone. his hands cup your cheeks and bring your face close to his again, enough for him to leave a kiss on the tip of your nose. "i'd destroy you."
"what do you mean?" you should be scared. that can't mean any good, can it? just why are you squirming in his lap then, thighs aching to be pressed together and core burning up?
"oh, sweet little bunny." the realization hits him. you really are that sweet and innocent. "i just mean that..." he stops to think.
he won't be able to resist himself. and he doesn't want to hurt you. yes, he loves to see you cry. and yes, he has the twisted desire to see you split open on his cock as you cry and whine about how big he is, and how you can't fit him. to see pretty tears spilling down your cheeks as you enjoy the pain he inflicts on you, begging for more. he'd stop if you told him to, of course. he would never do anything to hurt you like that.
"you just mean that...?" you wake him up from his filthy fantasies.
his hands leave your body, only to rest on top of your hands which play with the zipper of his leather jacket. "i mean that you're not ready."
i just mean that i am not ready.
"you'll have to be a patient little doll. can you do that for me?" he tilts his head to properly look at you as your gaze is locked on his hands over yours. "angel?"
"yes."
"yes, what?"
"yes, yunnie."
"that's a good girl."
the wheel continues spinning, just when yunho gently removes you from himself and lets you sit on your own. all flushed and hair messy, you turn towards the windows, hoping to fix the situation while you pretend to look at the view and hide from his eyes. a click echoes in the cabin. then another, and another. you turn around to find yunho taking pictures of you from the opposite seats, a soft smile on his face as you try to hide into the hoodie.
"stop, i look horrible!"
"one more, come on." he approaches you, taking your jaw into his hand and making you look at him. he gets the perfect shot, your flushed face on full display, sitting so perfectly in his palm, with big eyes looking up at him. "perfect."
"my hair is a mess." you complain, hands struggling to fix the loose strands.
the dark haired man imitates your pout. "no pouting."
"i wasn't."
you jolt when his fingers tug on your bottom lip. he really loves doing that. "and no lying. you know how i feel about lying."
that you do. he hates lying more than anything. lies, white lies, being silent about things. it didn't matter. yunho hated it. your lips are too pretty to tell lies, he had told you once. truthfulness means a lot to him, and he appreciates it when it comes from you. "sorry."
seeing that he burst your bubble, he crouches in front of you, taking your hands in his and bringing them to his lips to leave a kiss on the back of each one. "i'll fix your hair when we get home. i promise."
the ride comes to an end, with yunho and you exiting last, each holding a stuffed animal. you walk beside yunho, content. you kissed him.
no, he kissed you.
yunho kissed you. it's everything you've ever desired for as long as you can remember. and it's better than you've imagined. his lips were indeed as soft as they looked, maybe even softer. his tongue a burning fire against yours, and hands molding your body like clay in his hold. you're feeling selfish, wishing for more. wishing that the wheel got stuck and left the two of you up there, continuing with the activity. as you look at his side profile - the one you can never get enough of looking at - you decide that you'll get more. you have to.
he has given you a taste, and you're already addicted.
"i need to use the restroom. sit here and wait for me." he places the stuffed elephant on a bench nearby, then the koala on the other end of it. he guides you so that you sit in between, occupying the bench and leaving no space for anyone else to sit. "i could just put you on my shelf and look at you all day long like this. stay here, got it?"
you're feeling foolish, having the whole bench to yourself. but what yunho says, you do. and you sit still, nodding your head playfully. "yes, sir!"
"i'll be right back. got your phone?"
"yes." you show it to him, secure in your hand.
"sunglasses?"
"on." you scrunch your nose, moving the sunglasses further up it.
"good. i'll be back in two minutes."
the feeling is strange. being outside, hands untied, a phone in your hand, and yunho not by your side. a light breeze caresses your hair, and the early setting autumn sun warms your face for one last time today. a once lost feeling creeps up on you, along with the fear of consequences. you've forgotten what it feels like. you've forgotten what free will is. you've forgotten what freedom is. and you haven't sought it for a very long time. and it haunts you, whispers in your ear, makes the hairs on your hands stand straight.
it lures you in.
it makes you stand up. take a step, then another. unsure at first, and a little wobbly. like you've forgotten how to walk without him. and then: you run.
you run through the crowd, around and behind the stands and tents, until your legs start to ache. you aren't used to this much cardio.
afraid that he might see you, you run into the nearest big tent. the entrance isn't the usual one, and you realize that somehow you've managed to sneak in through the exit. it takes a while for your eyes to get used to the dark. the place is poorly lit, with dark red lights illuminating the countless reflections that stare back at you. a mirror maze. out of all places you could've chosen.
you finally see your true form in the poorly lit mirror. hair a mess, face unrecognizable, wrists bruised. clothes that do not belong to you. and a pair of dark glimmering eyes that look at you from the shadows behind you.
"dollie."
how did he find you so quick? was he just testing you? testing your loyalty? did you even have a chance in running away? did you just let all that trust you built with him over the course of months or years fall into water?
but you won't let him catch you. and no amount of mirrors will stop you. you bolt for the exit, following the arrows on the floor that are upside down to you. you don't hear his footsteps behind you. perhaps it is your fear playing hallucinations on you. perhaps he is giving you a head start. or perhaps this tent was his plan too. for you to run in there, failing his test, and suffering consequences.
fear swallows you whole, causing your breathing to become shallow and fast, vision blurry, and legs and hands shaky. the faint red arrows aren't visible anymore, and you rely on putting your hands in front of you and touching your way out.
"i'm so disappointed with you, y/n."
no.
not the first name.
god, no. you can't do this again.
tears prickle your eyes, further blurring your vision. how could you have been so stupid? as if yunho is a fool. you've forgotten what he truly is. you've forgotten what you truly are. a prisoner, and its captor.
"i thought we were finally getting somewhere."
his voice is deeper than usual, echoing through the mirror maze. it makes you turn every few seconds, making sure that he isn't behind you, as if it wasn't enough to simply look at the mirrors in front of you. but your rising panic attack has your senses dull, and quickly you find yourself sobbing as you try to navigate through this torture labyrinth. every reflection is a punch to the gut, showing you your helpless frame and mocking you.
"you said you loved me."
he's close, then he isn't. you hear his footsteps, then you don't. and then, your eyes catch a glimpse of the tent's front opening up and closing. it's right there. just a few turns away. palms carelessly leave prints on the spotless mirror, and legs work hard to keeping your body up for just a little more. a few more turns. that's all you need to do.
a whiff of fresh air hits your face as you take a turn to the left, and you can smell the popcorn and cotton candy on the stands just outside the tent.
a hand is placed over your mouth, and another one around your waist, pulling you back harshly and colliding with another body. the feeling is all too familiar, repetitive even. nails desperately claw at his hands, but you know it's to no avail. you sob into his palm, tears streaming down your cheeks and continuing down his hand.
"you lied."
you are so stupid.

a light breeze caresses your cheeks. it is cold for your face, but your body seems to be warm and comfortable. even your hands. your eyelids peel open, and it takes a while to adjust to the dark. yunho's jacket covers your lap and hands, keeping you warm from the autumn breeze that enters through the rolled down window of his car.
yunho's jacket.
yunho's car.
yunho.
"no-" you gasp, jumping in the car seat.
yunho is quick to put a hand over your mouth. "hush. it's okay."
he doesn't keep it there long, removing it as fast as he touched you. he gives you time to look around and adjust to your surroundings. the first thing you notice is your hands, still untied, then, the street yunho is parked on. "what are we doing here?"
the man doesn't say anything. one of his elbows rests on his rolled down window, holding his head in his palm while his other hand plays with the lavender rope. you gulp, feeling the material on your wrists even though nothing is there. upon subconsciously rubbing your wrists, you notice that you don't wear his clothes anymore. you're wearing the clothes you thought were forever gone.
the concert outfit.
and the street? the street where you live. and your house at the end of it, the yellow trees preparing for winter and shedding their leaves.
"yunho...?"
he scoffs. "you never call me that."
you don't know what to say. you opt for silence, looking at your house in the distance and wondering why he has brought you here. then, you speak. "you kept my concert clothes."
"i kept all your things." yunho sighs, then reaches in the back seat to retrieve a backpack. the familiar scent of vanilla and whisky almost hugs you when he leans back to reach for it, his neck exposed and close to you. you ignore the tingling sensation in your stomach. "here."
he opens it for you, revealing all of your belongings, including your phone. it is smashed, and it doesn't turn on.
"i had to make sure nobody could find you." he confesses. "there's an envelope with money for the new one in the backpack."
"i don't understand..."
"you can go."
you can... go?
he is letting you go? willingly? your gulp almost echoes in the car. legs frozen, and mind a mess, you remain seated. yunho doesn't look at you. he keeps his gaze locked on a tree by the sidewalk, monitoring the swinging branches and falling leaves.
"don't make me change my mind."
it feels odd. unnatural. as if you'll wake up soon. the strange thing is that recently you haven't dreamt of running away from yunho. even now, as he is openly offering you freedom. your bottom is firmly planted on the seat.
"that's it? just like that?" you dare ask.
"yep." he still doesn't look at you.
"you don't have anything to say?" you push further.
"if you think i'm going to apologize, i am not." his eyes finally lock with yours. and it still makes your stomach flutter. "you should really go."
you are overwhelmed - no, overstimulated - by feelings and thoughts. you are angry, and sad. months or years of this odd relationship with him, being in an apartment and not stepping foot outside, locked away from the world, cut off from the social sites, completely at his mercy. eating what he offers you and wearing what he buys you. having contact with him only. trying not to go crazy when spending multiple days alone, sometimes a month too. all because you did something that he didn't like and he was punishing you for it.
and he drops you off at your house. simple as that.
hesitantly, your hand reaches for the door handle after unbuckling the seatbelt, only to find it locked. a sigh leaves yunho's lips, and within seconds, the windows are rolled up and the car starts. "dumb bunny."
"what?"
yunho steps on the gas pedal. his hands grip the wheel with such force that it turns his skin pale. the speed of the car and sudden turns make your body toss around in it. the seatbelt uselessly hangs on the side. "dumb." he takes another turn. "fucking." and joins the traffic on the highway. "bunny."
"i'm sorry!" you choke out, hands frantically holding onto anything you can reach. breathing becomes a challenge as your eyes follow the way he skillfully overtakes other cars, going way past the speed limit. "yunho! yunho, please!"
"i gave you a chance to prove your loyalty. to see if you regret using the chance and running away from me at the park. to prove that you love me, like you said it." he seethes. "and you reached for the handle."
"you offered!"
"doesn't mean you should've taken the offer!" he yells back. his voice is animalistic, deep as he almost growls the words and loud, sending shivers down your spine and coating your body in sweat. he glances at you, enough to make you start trembling. his eyes are pitch black under the lack of lights on the highway and dilated pupils from anger. "you're mine, you hear me? mine!"
"slow down," you sob, "please."
"i told you once, doll. if i can't have you..." he takes a sudden turn, exiting the highway and continuing into the forest that surrounds it. he avoids trees, driving between them and scaring the animals away, until he finally stops in front of the lake that is hidden among the greenery that is now swallowed by the dark of the night. "nobody can."
a blood curling scream leaves your lips as your eyes meet your doom. yunho drives the car into the lake at full speed.
he doesn't exit. he stays inside with you, calmly looking ahead of him as the front of the car slowly starts sinking. his seatbelt holds him in place, while you are left tilted along with the vehicle. trembling hands reach for the man. even in this moment, you reach for him.
"yunho..." your voice is a mere whisper. "yunho, please."
"nobody can have you."
"they won't." you assure him.
"nobody can have you."
"i'm all yours."
"nobody can have you."
"please don't kill me."
brown eyes finally look at you. his gaze softens at your flushed and wet face. he has control over the situation. you just don't have to know that. this is where he wants you: begging him to spare your life, making sure to let you know that he is the only one you have. that he is all you need. and that there is no escape other than death from that. he would rather drown with you than let anyone else have you.
"i want to live." you beg.
you can't help but feel comfort when his hands cup your face. ringed fingers brush your tear stained cheeks, and he can't help but lean in and press his lips to a fresh one that started its journey down your rosy skin. "you'll live. with me."
yunho leans his forehead against yours. his warm breath caresses your lips - a bittersweet refreshment of your memory. how can a man kiss so softly, but touch so roughly?
"tell me you're mine."
a sneaky glance helps you determine the current danger of the situation. you still have time to exit through the trunk. but it all depends on yunho. if he has decided to not let you go, nobody can help you with it. "i'm yours."
"good girl."

the familiar feeling of rope is back on your wrists. you'd be lying if you said that it didn't bring you comfort. the outside world seemed scary enough for you to embrace being locked in. yunho isn't the reason. he only did what he had to do to put some sense back into you.
the red rope is tied into a complex heart between your wrists, and yunho gives it a tug to tighten it and restrain you. "there. all done."
"it's pretty." you compliment. you don't ask why the rope is red. you know. you get the red one each time you do a foolish thing, so that every time you see it, you are reminded of how you let him down. "thank you, yunnie."
to your surprise, he loosens it, enough to slip it off your wrists and not undo the knot. he stands up from the bed, then gently removes the sleeping rabbit from your lap and sets it on the floor in the hallway near the cage and food, before coming back and offering you his hand to stand up. you are still soaking wet from the lake, with his hoodie hanging around your waist to warm your legs. you accept it, standing up and leaving a wet spot behind on the sheets.
"i'm sorry."
yunho only smiles, pressing a kiss to the hand he holds, and guides you to the bathroom. "don't worry about it."
you are surprised at the sight once your bare feet step on the cold bathroom tiles. the bathtub is filled with steaming water, and a few candles are lit around it. your hand is abandoned by his for a moment, just enough for him to shuffle through one of the drawers near the sink. a towel awaits for you, neatly folded on the stool near the tub. your hands untie the hoodie around your waist, letting it fall with a splat. little by little, the heavy wet pieces of clothes form a pile on the ground. by the time yunho turns around, you are left in only your underwear, body shivering from the midnight breeze that sneaks in through the tilted window. yunho stops in his tracks, eyes falling on your exposed skin that is illuminated by the soft orange light of the candles.
"uh," his gaze drops on two packages in his hands. you feel a boost of confidence storming through your veins. "i got you these bath bombs. which one would you like?"
"you pick." you shrug.
yunho looks still avoids you, turning his back towards you and approaching the tub. his hands unwrap the light pink one, dropping it in the water and helping it dissolve faster by making circular motions with his fingers on the surface. he doesn't stop until the clear liquid becomes a milky white with a pastel pink hue, with rose petals floating on the surface. "milk and rose. you'll like it."
to your disappointment, he passes by you without sparing you a glance. you can't help the hand that reaches for his, fingers intertwining and eyes that have proved themselves useful many times. he flinches, as usual. but he doesn't let go. "stay." the word comes out in a whisper.
"doll." he warns. "be good and-"
his eyes widen when you climb on your toes and rest your hands on his shoulder, lips lightly ghosting over his. you don't touch them yet. not when his hands grab your waist, and not when a sigh leaves his lips and caresses yours. only then do you finally press them against his. fingers are eager to play with his hair on his neck, and body leans against his chest to seek warmth and comfort. and the brown eyed man gives it to you, pulling you into him so that your cold skin can rest against his burning one. you can feel him, even though there is a layer of material separating you.
when your tongue peeks out to swipe over his bottom lip, yunho pulls away. you can't help the whine that leaves your lips. "you're going to be the death of me." he sighs.
"will you stay?"
"and do what?" he tilts his head playfully. "watch you enjoy your hot bath while i freeze?"
"you could join me-"
"no." he firmly says. and just like that, all you've done with the kiss has fallen into the water. his hands abandon your body, only to find your clip that he has put there himself once he helped you out of the lake. your hair is still damp, and it falls loose when he takes the butterfly clip off. it was his favourite one. "go."
"but yunnie..."
"bunny."
"you won't see me naked." you finally say.
one of the rules with yunho was that you are not to see each other naked. even now, with only your underwear on, you were pushing it. yunho made sure to let you know that he doesn't want such things with you. you only need to sit pretty for him and be obedient.
"please? you can turn around while i undress and turn back when i get into the tub."
"you still haven't answered my question. what will i do while you enjoy your little bath?" he turns around, letting you free yourself from the damp underwear. they join the pile on the floor, right next to yunho. his eyes fall on the discarded panties, and he has to close his eyes and breathe in to keep his composure. you've come a long way from being too shy to ask for a glass of water.
"you promised you'd fix my hair."
once he hears the water gently splashing, he turns around. the water is murky, hiding your bare body from his hungry eyes. while you settle down in it, yunho wastes no time in getting a hairbrush and bringing the stool to the tub so that he is behind you and the only way you can face him is by leaning your head against the rim of the tub. he places a smaller towel on it so that your neck doesn't hurt while you lean back. "clever girl."
you fail to hide the proud smirk on your face. a sigh leaves your lips when yunho's fingers sink into your hair and massage your scalp. you can't believe that those same hands almost dragged you to death just two hours ago.
"stay still." his voice is a whisper. you haven't even realized that your head was leaning into his touch, dragging your body out of the water and exposing you just above your breasts. you sink back in, covered all the way to the shoulders. "good girl."
his voice has never sounded so husky and... deep. manly. a warm sensation pools at the bottom of your stomach, and seems to start bubbling and getting hotter when your fingers brush against your thighs. it is not the first time that yunho does your hair. he loves doing it. but something about him doing it right there and then had your mind spinning. you tilt your head back to glance at him. the sight is both cute and funny: yunho dressed in all black, with a serious and focused expression as he does the familiar braid in your hair, and a lavender scrunchy on his wrist. soon enough, he pulls that scrunchy off his wrist and ties your hair with it, then keeps it in his hand to play with it.
"my pretty girl." he coos. his other hand reaches to caress your cheek, and a smile spreads on his lips, seeing how your body immediately responds to his touch. you sigh in content, nuzzling your face further into his warm hand. "do you trust me?"
"yes," you respond, lost in the way his hand trails down your neck and grazes your collarbones. "yes, i do."
yunho hums. your braid is left to hang in the air while he reaches for something. you trust him. which is why you keep your eyes closed, not bothering to see what he is doing. a gasp leaves your lips when you feel something hot on your collarbones, and your eyes shoot open.
yunho holds a candle above you, tilting it so that hot wax drips on your body. the feeling is strange. the pain is there, yet it adds to the fuel between your legs. he sets the candle back on the flat rim of the tub, then reaches for another one. "yunho-"
"you can take it." he encourages. he tilts it again, and you can't help the shuddering sigh that leaves your lips when it falls on your chest, grazing your tense nipples. "does that feel good, dollie?"
you can only nod while your fingers reach to touch your sensitive breasts. they accidentally graze the perky buds, and if you didn't bite your lip in time, yunho would know what you were doing under the murky water.
"words, precious." he tilts the candle again, more wax coating your collarbones and neck as his other hand still caresses your cheeks. "let me hear you."
"it feels good, yunho."
yunho usually hated when you used his full name. he loved your nickname. but now, as he listens to you say his whole name in almost a breathy moan, he can't help but gulp and bite his inner cheek. "one more."
fingers trail from your breasts to your core, digits eagerly pressing into the plush folds and giving you a lick of satisfaction. when yunho brings a fresh candle to your body, you can't help the impatient whimper that leaves your lips, causing him to lose it and pour it all at once on you. his pants tighten at the sight, dried wax coating your burning skin, flushed cheeks, parted lips, and eyes rolled back. your head is still resting on the rim, tilted so that he can look at your pretty face that has a warm orange hue due to the candles.
then, he notices the water moving. and he notices your hand that has disappeared under it. yunho yanks your braid, making your eyes widen. "are you touching yourself?"
you know better than to lie. but you also know how much yunho doesn't like when you touch yourself. he gets jealous, he says. yet he won't ever touch you. your hand freezes between your legs, but no matter how slowly you try to remove it, yunho already knows. it doesn't fix the damage.
"stupid little bunny."
as if you want him to meet his end, your eyes become glossy with tears, and your bottom lip quivers. he didn't mean to make you cry. but you knew the rules. and you never broke them. sometimes you'd threaten that you would, only to rile him up and make him give you attention. you've never actually done it. now that you did, yunho is baffled. he hates that he wants to keep watching. he doesn't need to look at your body. your face is enough.
"i'm sorry." your voice trembles.
then, yunho's gaze hardens. it makes you worry for a split second, until his hands reach for your knees that peek out of the water. he separates them, slow as ever, and you swear you hear his breath hitch. "keep going."
"what?" you blink your tears away, to his disappointment.
"i want to watch." his eyes are fixed on yours. when you start rising from the water to give him a view, yunho shakes his head. "i want to watch you enjoy it."
you should've known by now that he has odd requests and ways of doing things. like insisting on feeding you. holding your hand or carrying you when going to another room. putting your hair in a clip by himself. choosing which clothes you'll wear for him. this, however, you did not experience yet.
"go on, pretty. i'll guide you." his soft lips leave a kiss on your forehead. "but you'll have to talk to me when i say something to you. got it?"
"yes, sir."
he nods as a sign to keep going. he doesn't have to do anything else, because your fingers are back on your folds. he gently tugs at your braid; a sign to stop. "patience." he growls. "cup your pretty breasts for me. don't touch your nipples just yet."
back to the start. your hands obey his command, and soon enough, your thighs find themselves squeezing together and rubbing against each other. fed up with your impatience, yunho separates your knees once again, now keeping his hands firmly planted there.
"tell me," he whispers into your ear, "if it was me touching you..." he trails.
you whimper at the thought.
"what would you want me to do next?"
your imagination runs wild. you'd want him to do everything. the things you can't even say out loud. things that would surprise him. so you settle for a simple one. "kiss me."
he chuckles. "that i can do."
he teases first, lips hovering over yours instead of touching. "please." you breathe out.
"touch yourself for me." he demands. "soft circles on your pretty buds."
when you do so, he finally presses his lips into yours. it is needy, and hot. the way his teeth graze your bottom lip, tugging it and nibbling on it while your fingers work on yourself. small whines are swallowed by his hungry kisses, muffled by his hot tongue against your inexperienced one. he guides you by slowing down and letting both of you savour every lick and nibble. if you weren't in the water, you are sure you'd be burning up.
one of his hands abandons your knee and reaches for yours that grips the bathtub rim, and he guides it back under the water and to your core. he only touches your hand, careful not to accidentally graze your thighs or your slick core. your fingers move with his help, slowly circling your clit and removing them when he feels your body become tense. he denies the sweet pleasure multiple times, enjoying the way you squirm under him and whine into his lips.
"yunnie-"
"yunho." he growls. "call me by my name."
"please, please, please." you chant. "yunho, please."
"sensitive?" he asks, knowing the answer. this time, yunho pulls away, opting to admire your face and finally focusing on you. "i'll make you feel so good, doll. make you wish for nobody but me."
"please do." pleas don't stop leaving your mouth. under other circumstances, you'd feel pathetic. but right now? you are ready to get on your knees and beg. "touch me."
"i can't." he stops.
you groan in frustration, losing the orgasm once again. "why not? why won't you ever touch me? why do you keep me if you won't do anything with me? am i ugly to you? am i that unappealing? am i not enough sexually attractive? am i too inexperienced for you? is there someone else? if there is, why am i here? what do i have to do to-"
in a single motion, yunho pulls you out of the water. it splashes everywhere, including his clothes. the look on his face changes. he is furious. you are pulled into the room, water dripping behind and leaving a trail all the way to the bed. he doesn't seem fazed by the fact that you are completely naked in front of him, and that he has seen you, and thus, broken his own rule. yunho throws your body on the bed, then reaches for the red ropes on the night stand.
"no, no-" you regret your words. "i'm sorry! i didn't mean it!"
"shut the fuck up." he growls. your wrists are back in the ropes, and he wastes no time in tightening them. he turns your body around so that you lay down on your stomach, and then pulls your braid so that your head is tilted back, just like in the bathtub. "look at me."
"yunho, please-"
"look." spank. "at." spank. "me." spank.
eyes finally lock with his. even through the blurry vision, you can see just how dark they have become. you always do this. you build something, little by little, and then you become greedy and ruin it. "i'm sorry."
"what do you want?"
silence. the pain on your scalp softens, with yunho loosening his grip. his brows are furrowed, and you know you've made him more furious than ever, just by the look on his face. "what?"
"do you want me to touch you?"
"i-" you do. it's all that's on your mind right now. he had given you a taste, and you want it all. "yes."
"after all i did to you?"
this time, you are the one whose brows are furrowed. he does know what he did to you. and he does acknowledge how bad it is. yet all of it doesn't stop your body aching for his. soul yearning for his. mind longing for his. you want yunho in every way possible. you want him to be yours, as much as you are his. only then will you be happy, and only then will you stop with the tantrums.
"yes." you confirm.
"oh, doll." he turns you over again, this time gently. finally, he looks at you. all of you. he can't help the hand that reaches to caress your wax covered collarbones and chest, traveling down your stomach and to your thighs. "if i touch you how i want now..." he trails, gaze locked on your shivering body. "you'll belong to me only."
"don't i already belong to you?" you point out.
"you don't understand." he shakes his head. "i'll make it so that your body only responds to me, even when we are out in public. i'll make it so that your mind doesn't dare to think of other men. i'll mold you so that i am your only match, mentally and physically. i'll make it so that your walls mold to the shape of my cock, and can only take me and nobody else. i'll make it so that you cry from pleasure every time i get my hands on you, and i set high standards for you, that even if you tried to cheat, you'd be disappointed and crawl back to me."
"yunho-" you breathe out, gulping at his words.
"i'll spoil you. i'll kiss you. i'll fuck you. i'll do anything you ask me to. just..." the man looks deep into your eyes before he removes a stray strand from your face, tucking it behind your ear. he places his hand under your chin, raising your head so that you can properly look at him with those glossy eyes of yours. "promise me."
"promise you what?"
"promise that you belong to me. me and nobody else."
"i promise." the words come out in a whisper.
he shakes his head, not satisfied with the answer. "say it."
"i belong to you, yunho. my body and soul is yours." finally, he is satisfied. "under one condition."
he raises one eyebrow, surprised at your request.
"you can have me as long as i have you."
"you have me."
"no, i don't. not like i want to. what if you meet somebody prettier? more interesting? i've seen your coworkers. they're all gorgeous. i can't compare to them. what if you decide you want a normal relationship and grow bored of me?"
one confession after another has yunho's gaze softening. he wishes for nothing more than to press his lips against yours and kiss you like there is no tomorrow. but he has suppressed your feelings and opinions enough. "i would never get bored of you. you think i went to such lengths for something that is temporary?"
"then why don't you ever touch me?"
"because," his finger stops the fresh tear from rolling down your cheek, "once i have you, i won't be able to keep my hands off you."
"i don't want you to keep your hands off me." you hastily admit. he opens his mouth to speak, but you stop him by capturing his lips with yours. he relaxes into it, letting you lead by simply opening his mouth and inviting your tongue in. he is already burning for you, as are you for him. you pull away for a moment. "you said multiple times that you like to pamper and take care of me. now you can properly show it to me."
"i will take good care of you." he breathes out, gracing you with a hot kiss to your lips before trailing down your jaw and neck. "i will be everything you could want or need." his teeth graze the collarbone, making your hands snake around his neck. "i will be yours as much as you are mine."
his tongue peeks out, creating a path between your breasts, down your stomach, until he reaches your pulsating core. his hands rest on your waist, keeping your body firmly planted on the wet mattress. it is odd seeing someone like yunho be mesmerized by something. seeing his eyes locked to your glistening folds and bottom lip trapped between his teeth made your stomach erupt with butterflies. he is still holding back.
suddenly, the red rope catches his attention. you are still tied up. but when he goes to undo the knot, you stop him. "i want to keep them on. so you know i truly belong to you."
"doll..." voice pure velvet, yunho looks at you from between your legs. "what do you want me to do?"
you think. and think. but really, it is that simple. "everything you wanted to do, but you held back."
"you don't know what you are asking for." he warns.
"you said you'll do anything i ask." you remind him of his words spoken just minutes ago. "i ask you to not hold back."
with a groan, yunho pulls your body to the edge of the bed, burying his head between your thighs and inhaling your scent before letting his tongue taste you. immediately, your back arches off the bed, and tied up hands reach to grab his hair. the grip he has on your thighs to keep them apart is strong. so strong that you know they'll bruise.
"fuck-" his fingers spread your folds, leaving your sensitive clit exposed to his flattened tongue. "fuck!" you cry out.
he barely slides one finger inside your tight walls, and you can already feel the orgasm rushing. he has denied it many times today already, and he decides to be merciful and close his lips around the bundle of nerves and suck until you fall apart on the bed and his tongue. he doesn't give you a break, instead pulling his mouth away from you and sliding another finger inside. "so pretty."
digits easily find the plush button on the upper wall, caressing it and stimulating it to the point of making you cry from pleasure. tears spill down your cheeks, hands grip at the sheets, and body arches from the bed while your walls clench around him. when you look down to beg him to give you more, you choke on your breath. yunho humps the edge of the bed, gaze fixed on the way your walls swallow his fingers as he chases his own release. "yunnie..."
"yes, pretty girl?"
"you're humping the mattress while i am here?"
"you look and taste so sweet. i don't want to ruin it." he admits.
a laugh escapes your lips, and is interrupted by a moan when his other hand rests on your overstimulated clit. "i want you."
and just how can yunho say no to you?
"i'll try to be gentle." vision blurry and mind hazy, you don't question how fast yunho has taken his clothes off. he is on top of you, planting a kiss on your forehead before guiding his aching cock to your entrance. you clench before he even slips inside, making it harder for his wide length to separate your walls. inch by inch, yunho gets lost in the feeling of you, and can't help but slam his hips into yours. a cry meets his ears, making him realize what he did. "oh, doll. i am so sorry."
"it's alright." you assure, a hiccup betraying you.
"you feel..." he pulls away, only to slide back in again in a gentler motion and let out a satisfied hum. "oh, you feel heavenly."
all you can think about it the bulge in the bottom of your stomach. you feel him deep, and it is as enjoyable as it is painful. he is thicker than you've imagined, or ever seen, and he splits you open so beautifully, easily gliding in and out. "i want... i want..."
"you're a drooling mess, dollie." he teases. and he isn't wrong. you are so intoxicated by his smell, his touch, and the way he gazes at you, that you can't do anything else but lie down and take what he gives you. "fuck, i'm not going to last long. that doesn't usually happen."
"i'll take that as a compliment."
yunho picks you up by your waist, angling your body off the mattress and finally snapping his hips into yours, reaching into the places you never knew you had and drawing cries and moans from you. "say my name." he growls against your neck, the sticky tip of his cock kissing your cervix with each snap.
"yunho," you gasp.
"louder." snap.
"yunho," you try, but you are weak already.
"louder." he yanks at your braid, sending delicious pain to your scalp and inching you closer to your release. "say my name. tell me who you belong to. tell me who's fucking you right."
"yunho!"
"good, good girl." he praises, and finally, lets you relax as he helps you reach the peak and spill. "i'll ruin you for anyone else."
it takes you over the edge of the peak, making your body explode with pleasure that rushes all the way to your toes, fingers and scalp. you shake under his touch, riding out the waves of pleasure while he still works on getting himself to orgasm.
it doesn't take long, seeing your state of flushed cheeks, half closed eyes that lazily gaze at him, and the knot between your wrists. he spills into you, filling you to the brim and pulling out, only to squirt the remains on your abused clit. warm seed spills out of your hole and onto the mattress. you don't protest when his fingers collect the white fluid, only to push it back in.
"fuck, you really are perfect." he kisses your cheeks, then your forehead, and finally, your lips. "i guess i'll go run you another bath."
"guess so," you laugh. you watch him run into the bathroom and get his phone from the nightstand in the process, and can't help but glance at his tushy when he walks. "and yunho?"
"hm?"
"i meant what i said. i am yours, as long as you are mine."
"yes, doll." his eyes are fixed on the screen, and he is lucky he is hidden in the bathroom. he skims over the message over and over again, wondering whether he was reading it right. if you weren't right there, he would've thrown the phone at the mirror. it was as if his reflection was taunting him. smiling at him. freaking him out.
hongjoong: i know what you did, yunho. i gave you enough time to correct your mistakes or admit to it. if you don't want the police involved, you better set the poor girl free and we'll never talk about this again. last chance.
they know what he did. and they won't be afraid to rat him out. but no matter what promises he made to you today, one thing is still clear:
if he can't have you, nobody can.
and if hongjoong tries to take you away from him, may all deities help him.
#ateez#ateez imagine#ateez smut#ateez imagines#kpop smut#ateez x reader#ateez x y/n#ateez x you#ateez oneshot#ateez oneshots#ateez fanfic#ateez fanfiction#ateez jeong yunho#ateez yunho#jeong yunho#yunho scenario#yunho#yunho smut#yunho angst#yunho fluff#yunho x reader#yunho x y/n#jeong yunho x reader#yunho x you#jeong yunho smut#jeong yunho fluff#yunho fanfic#yunho oneshot#yunho scenarios#yunho oneshots
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TOP GUN #2
…is part of The Bookshelf.
⇨ This is a collection of my favorite fanfics/oneshots on Tumblr I love to re-read once in a while. None of those works belong to me! Feel free to use it as well.
⇨ My own works are here

Jake "Hangman" Seresin
Left at the Altar Summary: When you get left at the altar, a familiar face swoops in to save the day.
Can't Let You Go Summary: When you and Jake broke up, it hurt both of you more than you could handle. Now, after three months of barely seeing or speaking to one another, Jake walks in on the surprise of seeing you in a wedding dress, and it brings past memories and ruined dreams to the surface.
Wanting It All Summary: Hangman ends up in the hospital from a very similar Phoenix/Bob/birds situation, and you suddenly regret keeping a big secret from him.
Drunken Words, Sober Thoughts Summary: You and Jake had a history of flirting and occasionally kissing if too much time was spent at the bar, but it never went any further than that. One night, after showing up at your house and passing out on your couch, Jake wakes up the next morning only to learn he had drunkenly confessed his feelings for you.
Less Misery, More Company Summary: Jake has feelings for you but you don’t believe it, so you play a little trick to get back at him for all of his flirtatious teasing. But that little trick fails miserably, and as the weight of your mistake settles in, you realize you owe him an explanation, one that requires you to admit some things you’ve long denied.
Scrapes and Bruises Summary: Basically, Rooster is not thrilled about your relationship with Hangman, and their issues with one another bring up some fears of your own.
Good in Bed Summary: Jake has made it crystal clear to you that you're only friends with benefits, so why did he go and delete your dating apps?
Cross Summary: The four times you captured Jake Seresin’s attention and the one time he did something about it.
There's a Honey Summary: 3 times your aunt penny sees herself and maverick in your relationship with jake and 1 time she doesn’t.
So Funny Story (I'm Fucking Your Daughter) Summary: You've had a thing with Jake for a while now. The thing is, your dad doesn't know and your brother is desperate for you to tell him.
All You Had To Do Was Stay Summary: Six years ago Jake hit your life like a hurricane. In and out in a matter of weeks. You thought after you get over the disappointment of him leaving without saying a word you’d never think of him again. But then two pink lines change your life forever. Now he’s back and still has no idea that the little girl by your side is his daughter.
Revelation

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw
Three Generations Summary: Rooster is married. Maverick found out when the paperwork got filed with the Navy, but he doesn’t have a chance to ask Rooster about it until after the mission
Endings and Beginnings Part 1, Part 2 Summary: It's Maverick's retirement party but Rooster's far more concerned about you, his pregnant wife, than anything else.
Wrong Number Summary: Bradley was planning on a quiet night at home with a beer and a basketball game on TV. When he receives a text from a wrong number, he's left looking at a beautiful photo of you. Now he just needs to persuade you to ditch the guy you meant to text and focus on him instead.

Robert "Bob" Floyd
Only Love Can Hurt Like This Summary: Bob lost his fiancé in a dog fight and goes through the grieving process. Eventually he learns to move on but then everything he thought he knew was a lie, including the fact that Y/N had died on that mission.
All Fun & Games Summary: Returning to San Diego was just another assignment for you. Another step in the career path, full steam ahead, until you come to an obstacle in the road. Usually, you’d navigate around it, keep on going, but this is no normal obstacle. It might be enough to reroute you completely.

Tom "Iceman" Kazansky
Part of Three Summary: Reader is Maverick's sister, dating Iceman, and finds out she's pregnant.
Scared Summary: A fight between you and your fiancé spirals out of control.
Get Your Girl
Tom Is Finer
#top gun#top gun maverick#jake seresin x reader#hangman x reader#bradley bradshaw x reader#rooster x reader#beau simpson x reader#cyclone x reader#bob floyd x reader#robert floyd x reader#nick bradshaw x reader#goose x reader#tom kazansky x reader#iceman x maverick
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Keeping Lag to a Minimum...
I was chatting about a few things I do to combat lag over on discord and realised I do quite a bit of maintenance to reduce lag/load times. I decided to write em all down and before I knew it, I had a big ol' list. Here's hoping it helps!
Save/File Tips:
Clear your caches (located in the same spot as your mod folder fyi) I usually delete the onlinethumbnailcache, avatarcache and localthumbcache caches every time I exit the game, the main one to delete regularly is the localthumbcache file, they're just temporary files but it can get pretty big after a while.. if you're having any mod issues, particularly ui ones, it's always worth deleting that to see if it helps.
Remove any saves you're not using from your saves folder, and keep an eye on save file sizes. In my experience, any saves over around 30-40mb start to get a bit laggy. Things that bump this size up are the amount of townies in game and the amount of lots/objects in the world.
Regarding the above point, I regularly bulldoze lots I don't need anymore, just to save the game from having to cope with extra shit to load in the background and reduce save file bloat.
Similarly, I delete a lot of unnecessary townies. Also, try to keep the amount of outfits on townies to a minimum, ain't no townie need four swimsuit outfits, the game will thank you..
If you have cheats enabled you can usually shift-click/delete object on things like random coffee cups or stray cupcakes sims foolishly drop around the world (or eat em.. whatever tickles ur pickle) just get rid!
Whilst we're keeping objects in game to a minimum.. I try to clear sims inventories now and then, including townies. You can do this via mccc even if you're not currently playing that household by heading to MC Cleaner -> Sell Sim Inventory/Sell Household Inventory. RANDOM LUMPS OF CLAY BEGONE!
Think of a save file like a lot.. the more objects in it, the laggier it gets! Try your best to remove anything or anyone unnecessary where you can.
Hit "Save As" instead of "Save" now and then - the more you overwrite a save, the more chance it has of going wonky, treat your game to a fresh one now and then and remove the old one from your saves folder (maybe don't delete it right away in case you wanna roll back, keep it somewhere safe).
If you can (although ik it can be a pain) set up a new/fresh save, you'd be surprised how bogged down old ones can get! For legacy players, it's usually best to do this whenever you have a small family to save yourself some pain, since you can just save the household and take em to a new save (you will lose sims inventories/household inventories/relationships with sims outside the household tho so beware! Pictures/other collectables can be saved to a lot however, and you can always cheat back relationship bits etc.. bit of a last resort but new saves are shiny and fast!)
Make sure your Screenshots/Video folders are empty - move em somewhere else, it works, trust me. If you have a lot of custom music installed try n' clear some of those out too.. the smaller that Sims 4 directory is, the better.
Delete any last exceptions/last crashes (same spot as your mod folder again) you don't need em unless you're planning to upload em somewhere for help.
Settings Etc:
If you get a bad lag spike, opening the main menu and/or saving can randomly stop this. If it doesn't, try exiting the game, clearing your localthumbcache and restarting.
Clearing all notifications from the game panel can also help.
If you can, close all other apps and background apps you don't need whilst playing, ts4 is super memory hungry so it can definitely help.
The GraphicsRules Override file by Simp4Sims can reduce lag/latency and make your game look a little better in the process!
Srslysims Simulation Lag Fix mod can help reduce lag too (if you've altered the game speed via mccc tho, don't use this unless you plan on resetting it to default).
If you aren't keen on, or barely use a pack, consider disabling it.
Not ideal, especially for those of us taking screenshots, but lowering the graphics settings whilst playing definitely helps.
If you use re/g-shade, consider switching it off whilst playing and only turn it on for screenshots.
A clean and tidy pc/laptop runs better in general. Remove anything you're not using/don't need anymore to free up space, remove temp files, clean up your folders now and again etc etc.. especially that dreaded mod folder, speaking of...
Managing Mods:
SORT OUT YOUR MODS FOLDER FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.. skdsjdjs it doesn't have to be immaculate but at the very least try n' clear it out now n' then. Also try to separate your script mods/overrides from the rest, patch days don't need to be so stressful ;-;
Personally, I don't merge my mods; if something breaks it's much harder to pinpoint! It makes it easier to find/delete specific mods too.. and let's face it, there's usually one or two items in that set you could do without lmaooo.. also, don't think it helps much tbh! Yeah you could say the game doesn't have to work as hard to load merged files but that's debatable, it's still the same amount of items/polys at the end of the day ¯\(°_o)/¯
If you like merging files and/or see results from doing so, you can merge stuff you definitely know you're never getting rid of, especially CAS/BB stuff.. but steer clear of merging gameplay/script mods! If a merged file seems to be the culprit when using the 50/50 method, try unmerging it and 50/50ing it again! You might not need to get rid of everything if something's borked.
Bulk Rename Utility can be used to remove all spaces and special characters from your mod files, the game doesn't particularly like loading those so it'll thank you.
The Sims 4 Mod Manager is a great way to sort through your mods, you can easily see, move and delete files from here (not great for build/buy, poses etc as thumbnails are usually missing, but great for CAS stuff). An extra hint with this that I've noticed is that if any of my mods get renamed with [D1] at the beginning after looking through them via the mod manager, it means it's a duplicate file so you can get rid.
I also use the Sims 4 Tray Importer to help me sort through mods. Simply save a sim/lot with any cc you don't want and find it in the importer, you can then go through all the cc in the cc tab and delete/sort it (I also use this to sort cc if a bunch has the wrong tags etc, makes it easier to find in my folders by saving em to a lot or w/e - it also spots duplicates which is handy).
It's a ballache, but the 50/50 method is tried and tested if you're having issues.
I like to keep an abandoned cc folder tucked away somewhere, that way you can remove mods willy nilly without stressing about losing them. If you change your mind, you can always grab it back!
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#tips#reducing ts4 lag#uhhhhh#idk what else to tag this as#skdjskjd#ALSO! feel free to rb and add ur own tips!#lawd knows we need it with this game lmaoooo#as chaotic as he is.. i bet oscar's pc is immaculate#😌
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Error: 410 (Self Aware!AU Caleb Edition) Part 13

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 14 Part 15 A/N Summary: A self aware!AU with Caleb and NonMC! reader.
Tags: Caleb x reader, Caleb x NonMC! reader, Caleb x fem!reader, angst, fluff, Stressedout!reader, Hypersexual!reader.
Word count: 2k
Inspired by: @ittybittyfanblog
"I get that this life of mine is bereft of your presence, but then my heart doesn't know any other way to live."

You were sitting at your desk looking through another case file. Your eyes were starting to burn at this point. Ugh… God, you hated divorce cases, especially the ones with kids in them.
Just terrible… Both of the parents were clearly neglectful in their own ways—the problem was, who was the kid going to go with? It could unnecessarily complicate everything.
If you were being honest, you didn’t want the kid to go with either of the parents, but everyone knows just how great foster care is, and it’s not like your personal feelings matter. You were just doing your job.
The sound of nails tapping against your desk broke you out of your thoughts. You glanced up to see your friend and coworker, Madison. There was a smile on her face, a slight pitiful look in her eyes as she looked down at your hunched figure.
“Hey, Giggles. It’s almost lunch... Do you want to go grab a bite, or are you going to sulk all day, staring at that file?” She asked, gesturing for you to hurry up with her finger as she stood, leaning on your desk, waiting for you. “Up, come on.”
“Just a second.” You said, opening the notes app on your phone. Your fingers type quick words because of habit.
It’s been a tiring day today, Caleb. I’m going to go get lunch with Madison.
You wrote in your notes app. You couldn’t let go of that habit you had built up. Writing down mundane everyday events as if Caleb could still see and reply back.
How long has it been again? Around 4 years now…?
You sighed, getting up from your chair and fixing your shirt. “Let’s go…” You said, walking beside her.
Giggles, that’s what she called you. You both had properly met in your last year of college. Even though you shared classes, neither of you got around to talking to each other before. The conversations between you never ended without your laughter filling the space around you, earning you that nickname.
You were both lucky enough to get into a good and the same law firm in the city. Honestly, things had been much better with her around. Her presence helped your heart glue the broken pieces you had picked up yourself.
Both of your steps fell into synched paces as you walked beside each other; the sound of chatter, heels clicking, and typing of keys filled your ears until her voice forced its way inside your head. “There’s going to be a mock trial in a few days. Are you playing a part in it?” She asked, earning a shrug from you.
“No, not really. I’d rather watch; it’s interesting to see. I can learn something from watching. Besides, I doubt I can play the part of a money-hungry CEO.”
“Fair enough… Did you hear about the Honor Oil scandal?”
“The money laundering…? Yeah, allegedly there is a lot of hush money passed around. The CEO might just lose the company if he is not careful.”
“Is that case assigned to someone in our firm?” You asked, turning your head to look up at Madison.
“Nope, it's Smiths and Devane. It’s a shame, really; I would’ve loved to know more about it behind the scenes.” She said as you both stepped inside the elevator, pressing the button of the ground floor.
Neither of you said anything, hearing the small ding of the elevator, watching the door open. You both walked out of the elevator and out of the firm.
You sat down in front of Madison, sitting in the small café near the law firm you worked at. Quickly giving your orders, you just stared at Madison. There was something going on.
Madison was never this quiet… And it seemed like you spoke too soon before her green eyes caught yours and a sly smile formed on her face. “So, how do you like it in the firm so far…?”
The tone of her voice made you raise your eyebrows. Yep, something was definitely going on. “It’s alright… Just get to the point, Maddy.” You said, turning your head to look at the waitress who walked up to your table to serve your food. You gave her a smile and muttered a small ‘thank you,’ shifting your gaze to look at Madison.
“You know Spencer?” She asked, taking a sip of her coffee and looking at you with raised eyebrows. “Uh, yeah—he is very good with contracts and stuff, helpful guy.” You replied you felt like you knew where this was going.
“Well, he thinks you are cute and wanted me to give you his number if you want. He’s pretty nice, just a shy lad.” Madison said, looking up at you hopefully.
You knew the reason for that look in her eyes. Madison is a sweet woman; she is gorgeous and full of life. In the years you have known her, she’s been in relationships. And at one point, she probably didn’t want you to feel lonely watching from the sidelines. It was sweet, but no way you’d accept.
“Uh… that’s… thoughtful? I don’t know. I...just—it’s not…uh. I am not—“ You said, stumbling over your words. What do you even say, that you have a boyfriend who has no signs of existing?
“There is… someone I like, and I think it’s mutual… so you know.” You said, giving her a tight-lipped smile.
She reached her hand out, holding yours gently and giving you a smile. She understood and wouldn’t ask until you were ready.
It’s alright, sunshine. I can wait if you don’t want to tell me. You can take it at your own pace.
It’s best to keep things vague when it comes to dating. Besides, you said you’d wait, and you weren’t going to go back on your promise. You’ll wait forever if it means you’ll meet him at the end of time.
The next few days passed as a blur; somehow the only thing you were looking forward to was the mock court trial. It was a tense atmosphere in the mock trial, so fascinating to see how the mood kept changing instantly. This was supposed to be a quick trial, but everything was really dragging out.
You were trying to soak everything in when one of the receptionists walked inside the room and called for you. Apparently, there was someone looking for you.
Maybe it was a client or a member of their family... You’ll try and make it quick and easy for yourself, that is. These new cases were really stressing you out.
You took the elevator to the ground floor, glancing around the entrance. There were a few people there. One guy you had seen around the office, talking on his phone, and a few people talking to the receptionists.
There was also this guy… standing around near the couches with his back turned towards you.
He was really tall, with black hair, just standing around with his hands in his pockets. Wearing a leather jacket, black jeans, platform boots…? Just the way he stood reminds you so much of…
Caleb
You stood there for a few more seconds, the light metal chain around your neck feeling uncomfortably warm all of a sudden. You let out a shaky sigh, taking in a few breaths, trying to compose yourself.
Stop imagining things.
“Excuse me?” You said, walking over to him. Putting on your best professional smile you could muster up. The guy turned his head to look at you when he heard your voice, his warm brown eyes meeting yours, and it was as if the world stopped.
Maybe the world didn’t stop, but your mind certainly did—your smile fell as quickly as it appeared. You felt your knees growing weak the longer you stared at him.
Caleb Caleb Caleb Caleb Caleb
There was no way, right? You were just dreaming—your sick mind was just playing tricks on you. You didn’t want to believe it… you did want to believe it. You knew it was him. You just… you wouldn’t be able to handle it if the sound of an alarm woke you up like countless times before, when you had the solace of meeting him in your dreams.
“What… Are you surprised? Sure, it’s been a while, but you already forgot about me?” The pretty stranger asked, his voice shaking slightly as if he was trying to contain himself.
It was him; it was really him.
The voice you let out was almost inexplicable. Stepping towards him with shaky legs as you slowly wrapped your arms around him. Feeling his embrace. Your face was pressed against his chest, opening and closing your mouth as no words came out. Your mind is just trying to process it.
You could feel his arms around him, his cheek pressed against your hair, and his hand placed on the small of your back. The smell of his perfume clinging to the leather jacket—it was subtle but smelled good.
For three and a half years, you had forced yourself to live without him. Mourning his presence like a ghost. So far away, never in your sight but always in the back of your mind.
Now he was here… alive.
He was here.
“Oh god…” You choked out, tears streaming down your face as you buried your face in his shirt, staining the shirt with your tears—trying not to sob in the lobby of your office. He was here… Oh God, he was here.
It wasn’t a hallucination.
You weren't dreaming.
“Shh… It’s okay—I’m here now. Don’t cry, sunshine…” Caleb said, rubbing your back in small circles. “Can you take the rest of the day off, baby?”
You nodded without thinking; you could get Madison to cover your work today. Only a few hours were left, but you’d be able to go home.
You took your phone out of your pocket with shaky hands, tears blurring your vision as you felt Caleb’s hand wiping away your tears. You sniffled, quickly texting Madison.
Caleb was already looking at you when you turned to look at him. His hand wrapping around yours and leading you out of the law firm. He picked you up the second you stepped out of the firm.
“Caleb, what are you doing!?” You squealed, looking at him, and he just smiled back. “You weigh nothing to me, and I don’t care about what people think,” he said, knowing exactly what you would ask.
“Do you want to go back to your place?” He asked, and you nodded along. Before you could get another word out, he started walking. “I know how to drive, and I have a driving license, sweetie. You don’t need to worry.”
He always knew what to say, didn’t he?
“Mhm…” You just hummed in return. Leaning to put your head on his shoulder, shifting to nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck. You could feel his heartbeat. You wished this wasn’t a dream, but if the gods were playing games on you again and this was a dream, at least you could wish it would last a lifetime.
Tag list: @beewilko @browneyedgirl22 @aneertawrites @etsuniiru @demon-master-zero @angstylittleb1tch @mcdepressed290 @ittybittyfanblog @winwinwrites @alifyairl @huhleighna @calebsbeanpeeler @bookworrm1999 @mentaltrouble2201 @noxus123 @babyx91 @multisstuff @beomluvrr @sunnylittleapple @lunia-likes-pomegranet @imhere2dosomething @lostpsycho13 @april-likes-smut @calebsbabyapple @mephisto-with-a-knife @wooasecret @anatherone @mangooes
#love and deepspace caleb#lads caleb#caleb#inds#xia yizhou#lnds caleb#caleb x reader#caleb x you#error 410#hypersexual reader#fluff#angst#fanfic#lads x reader#lads x you#lads x non!mc reader#non!mc x caleb#non mc x caleb#non mc reader#love and deepspace fanfiction#love and deepspace fic#fic rec#Inds
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Fixing Windows 11 - A Masterpost
Windows 11 is absolute crap for a good bunch of stuff so yeah, have a masterpost with most of the things I've found around to fix it haha (they're not all here because I did stuff around and I don't remember what)
YES, I KNOW at this point Linux would be a better alternative, however some here can't use Linux due to some proprietary programs that are not on Linux. This Masterpost is for the people in the same situation as I, aka those who have to have Windows or they can't do their job.
I am currently unemployed and haven't worked enough for the government to help me. I have a ko-fi if ever you want to help.
Stopping W11 from making you create an account/setting up your computer without internet (with a way to create gpedit.msc if your version doesn't have it)
Fixing the Taskbar (in case you also don't like the grouped Battery/internet/sound or the way the windows look)(there's more to it, check the settings)
There is the chance that Windows can't update because of this, you just have to uninstall it and reinstall it afterwards. They also completely nuked the Windows 10 look in the 24H2 update, so use the "Windows 10 (Explorer Patcher)" option instead of the plain "Windows 10".
Removing the rounded windows (since ExplorerPatcher doesn't do it anymore on 24H2)
https://github.com/valinet/Win11DisableRoundedCorners
How to move the volume and luminosity pop ups (so you can finally see those sweet sweet subtitles)
In case ModernFlyouts doesn't automatically start up, possible solution
Fixing the Start Menu (ExplorerPatcher can do that too, btw)
How to show all options right away
A way to bring back the Calendar
https://github.com/matej137/OutlookRemover
MICROSOFT FULLY NUKED THE CALENDAR!!! Possible fix is to downgrade the app (which is fine if you don't use the Mail), but do use the OutlookRemover to stop the automatic installation of the new version.
https://github.com/matej137/OutlookRemover/issues/15
Your Bluetooth suddenly doesn't work???
It happens sometimes for no clear reasons so here are a few things you can do:
Check if the icon is in the Taskbar. If not, verify if it is available in the pop up menu (the one from the gear icon)
If it's not here, check your parameter to see if you have the option to turn it on.
If it's still not here, reboot your PC.
If it's STILL not working, update your Bluetooth driver. You can do so by looking for "driver" in the menu and opening the Device Manager, then right click on the right Bluetooth component and update its driver.
If Windows says that the driver is up to date, try checking out this helper: https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/fix-bluetooth-problems-in-windows-723e092f-03fa-858b-5c80-131ec3fba75c
If really nothing help, download and install a recent Bluetooth Driver. Be careful of what you download and from where.
Someone who stumbled on this post fixed it by downloading the Bluetooth Driver 5.0.1.1500 from Softonic (https://www.softonic.nl/download/bluetooth-driver/windows).
How to remove Copilot if you have it (I don't, but it might be because I'm in Europe??)
Archive
Apparently Copilot is being forced on people so hummm
Other stuff not specifically related to the shit W11 did
Changing the size of the scroll bars
How to fully remove Cortana
Website with tools to fix W10 and W11
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In light of the recent Nintendo boycotts, I come bearing a gift
I'll copy/paste a message I've been sharing in discord servers
If you like Nintendo games but hate the company, today's your lucky day
This is totally illegal and you absolutely shouldn't do it because its wrong, so I'm gonna tell you exactly what to do so that you guys know not to do it!
You guys absolutely should not download Azahar Nintendo 3DS emulator and then go onto Citra-emulator.com to find old Nintendo DS and Nintendo 3DS games and then open the games through Azahar for to play free, including Tomodachi life, ACNH, The Sims 3, Nintendogs + Cats and Flipnote Studio.
You really shouldn't do this stuff its its illegal but if you did it, it would totally work and no one could stop you. Also I work in tech and virus scanned random files and they all came up clean so its safe but its still illegal don't do it................. (But you totally could and no one would stop you)
The Citra emulator doesn't work because the dev got hit with a lawsuit. He went on to work on Azahar. They say not to do this for legal protection, but it fully works.
As far as I know, these games do not have piracy barriers EXCEPT Tomodachi Life (A large red cross over the character faces). I have a debug file that fixes this. If you guys come across another game that has a barrier let me know and I'll search for a debug
Tutorial
Use this link to download the emulator
https://azahar-emu.org/ scroll all the way up to "Download". Download the version that corresponds with your system (Windows, Mac, Linux, Android)
And this link to download the game files
https://citra-emulator.com/ Scroll all the way up to "3DS ROMS". There is an incomplete but still extensive collection of games, both Japanese and English titles as well as Pokemon ROM hacks
On Windows, place the game files on your desktop and open them. It will ask you what app you want to open the file with. Choose "Select app on PC", search for Azahar and select it then press "okay"
(I'm not 100% on the process for Linux and Mac but I'm sure they're similar. On Android I know for certain they are)
You'll know if it works because the game icons will switch from a paper file to the Azahar flower
Once you see these flowers, you are all set and ready to play!
And here is the error fix for Tomodachi life. Download this file and open it like normal. It will ask you what app you wish to open it with. Open it with Azahar.
Don't panic! A lowkey scary looking dialogue box will pop up for a moment and text will very quickly load onto it. This is Azahar reading the file and saving the commands. It will very quickly close itself. Once that window closes itself, you're all set to open Tomodachi Life and play like normal!
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_BQfoGycmpaaOvBEm29LU1FKqy7cgG6j/view?usp=drive_link
(This is an upload from my own personal google drive account. I pinkie promise there's no virus on this. and if there is you have full permission to yell at me and put me on blast)
and that's everything I got! Feel free to reblog with other sites or tips you have! <3 Have fun lovelies!
#toby rambles#stardew valley#creepypasta#mouthwashing#hatsune miku#thats not my neighbor#animal crossing#The sims#simblr#tamagotchi#emulation#game emulator#activism#boycott nintendo#vocaloid#epic the musical#epic telemachus#epic odysseus#epic penelope#Stardew valley#stardew#sdv elliott#sdv sebastian#sdv haley
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Chop Shop is strictly 18+ for language, themes, and potential explicit content.
🔗 - Game Intro | Bug Report | Ko-Fi
Episode Three is now available! (+ 86,000) - PLAY HERE
Get your first taste of the underground car scene.
Meet some other players in the game.
Be made an offer.
5 achievements up for grabs!
And more!
AN: thank you so much for the patience - i've been dying to put this update out. lots of new characters and lots of variation!! there are 3 major paths to choose between in this ep, i recommend trying them all out! and thank you to my betas for keeping me sane lmao
This update comes with a patch and UI refresh (Version 1.1.2) Notes are under the cut. If preferred, you can access them in game in the start menu.
STORY
EPISODE 01:
MC should now be able to smoke! Buying cigarettes at the shop was not triggering correctly. If playing with an old save, you DO NOT have to restart as code at the beginning of EP 03 has resolved the error. Player will need to restart if they wish to read smoking related scenes in previous episodes.
Updated MC Name selection. Player can now choose from a list of names instead of having to input one to proceed.
Player can now give Taha their chocolate bar if it's in their inventory.
When asking Maz about their scars, the second choice 'You want to ask about it but you're going to keep your mouth shut.' should now take you to the correct response.
Extended and updated 'End Game' scenes.
EPISODE 02:
If MC is faint after exiting the car, but also drunk, they should now get the fainting scene, followed by Dilani helping the MC in the bathroom.
UI + TECHNICAL
SETTINGS:
Autoname Save is now defaulted to ON. This is to add ease and flow to gameplay, especially for mobile, tablet, and app users, instead of calling for an inputted saved name. If player wants to input save names, toggle Autoname Saves to OFF.
Autoname Save previously only used the forename of the MC but now includes the surname as well.
Removed the Fullscreen toggle as it is only intended for desktop use. Player can still toggle fullscreen function via the UI bar on the desktop interface.
Added a choice indicator toggle. (This probably won't come into effect until EP 04 or 05)
Changed serif font from Vollkron to EB Garamond.
OTHER:
Changing the MC's pronouns via the Dashboard has been updated. Additionally, after confirmation will take player back to the Dashboard and not close the dialog boxes entirely.
Hovering over 'Personality', 'Motives', and 'Skills' titles in the Dashboard will now display an information box with a definition. Mobile and tablet users will need to tap on the title.
'Resume Game' now only appears on the main menu when there is an autosave in the saves log.
Choices styling changes.
General UI and button style changes.
Fixed errors with the text message styling.
Added styling for reading text off of a page in game.
Darkened blue in light theme 'Skyline' to reduce eye strain.
CREATE A SAVE
Introducing Create a Save! This feature allows players to quickly manufacture a save file and start at a later point in the game.
Set your identity, appearance, history, and statistics; including personality, motives, and skills. Continue to set key decisions made in previous episodes.
Randomise options available for creating a PC and key decisions.
OTHER
Fixed gaps and spacing issues.
Minor phrasing and sentence structure changes.
Grammar and typo fixes.
whew -- that's a lot of patch notes! apologies for so much that needed to be fixed.
this update shouldn't break/ mess with saves but as a disclaimer i will say, if you spot anything funky, broken, or you don't think things are triggering correctly, try starting a new save. the new create a save feature is incredibly code heavy, and it's been tested relentlessly, but i wouldn't be surprised if something crops up.
if starting a new save doesn't resolve your issue - please submit to bug report or just send me an ask/message.
some things have been meaning to get fixed for Some Time - thank you to everyone that is using the bug report form!
apologies if there are typos and/or bugs - this was a long one to edit and my lovely betas did an OUTSTANDING job reading so much for ep 3 - thank you so much again!!! this time i am going to give it a bit more time before i put together a patch so i can grab more error responses haha.
create a save has also added a wee chunk to the word count, somewhere around 6k, but i'm not including it in the episode 03 word count as it's purely code. so, if you think the total wc is off, that's why!
if you've read this far, happy reading and thank you so much for the continued support!! :) - becky <3
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on the topic of writing software
I want to ramble at you about some writing software options. 98% of the time I'm perfectly content with LibreOffice Writer (and previously I used Word, back when Microsoft products were less shitty). But every now and then when I have a new project (like now - more on that later) I start looking for something shiny and new to try. And I fell down into another research rabbit hole lol
I usually don't talk a lot about this bc my needs are very simple, and not sure how useful my opinion is to others, but I enjoy the topic. It's an intersection of creative writing and tech nerdiness and I like both of those things. Also what writing software you prefer really depends on the type of writer that you are, and everyone has a slightly different writing process and I find that fascinating.
Now, as I said, I'm coming at it from a slightly tech-nerd angle. I don't care if the installation is clunky, I'm happy to see the words open-source, and the need to create an account will already mildly piss me off (:
Don't worry, I'm not as intense as the guy writing his novel in Vim. Though fucking respect. And I can't say I'm not tempted to try it even with the steep learning curve lmao (Seriously, if you don't know Vim is notorious among software developers.)
Anyway, things I've tried so far:
Manuskript: this was listed as an open-source Scrivener alternative (though I haven't tried Scrivener. so.). I gave it a go when I was writing heart worth the trouble and it was pretty nice. It helped me when I had to move scenes and chapters around. But overall I think it was made with plotters in mind bc it wants you to enter a lot of information upfront. I'm not a planner/architect type of writer so this type of software is a bit overwhelming for me. Still, the fact that it's open source and works on Linux gets kudos from me.
Wavemaker: I recently played around with this, and I actually surprisingly like the features it has. You can put multiple books in a project, which is very nice if you like to work on different things, like fanfic, novels, etc. The mindmap is a feature I liked, though it's a bit clunky bc it collapses the text fields when you exit, and once I added an image field by accident that I could never remove lol I do like a bit of a snowflake method, so that feature is cool, and the cards are pretty straightforward too. Usually, my problem with these apps is that I don't even want to touch half of the features so they are pointless to me, but the features of Wavemaker were kind of nice. It's a web app that you can download and use offline but it's still working from your browser if that makes sense. That was what I didn't really appreciate. Also, it doesn't give you a lot of options to back it up. You either save the wavemaker file, export it into a document (which is fine, but it adds an extra step to the backup process) or you sync with Google Drive *shudders*
Things I want to try out:
Calmly Writer: now this is just purely a text editor that focuses on being very zen, streamlined, distraction-free, etc. It's pretty and it has typewriter sounds. (Yeah, I'm not immune to a pretty UI and harmless fun features alright? I can contain multitudes :P) It has an online version, but you can also download it, and works on Windows, Mac, and Linux. On paper, the desktop app requires a license, but the way they put it is that you can evaluate it for free and the evaluation doesn't have an enforced time limit... So. As good as free. (Though if I really like it, I would totally consider buying a license for 20usd that I can use on 3 computers, that seems fair. I appreciate a license over a subscription model for sure.) Honestly, I think this is the one I'm going to try next bc it just integrates perfectly into my writing process. That being: a multitude of messy, hand-written notes and notebooks + a document editor + backups on hard drive and GitHub (yes, really) ^^"
Shaxpir: This is on the opposite end of the spectrum basically, but out of the "fancy" ones, I kind of like the look of this the most. I like the statistics part in particular. But honestly, I probably won't try it bc it doesn't have a Linux version which would be a pain in the ass for me, and is cloud-based. I kind of don't really trust them, which is my biggest issue with these companies. (Although the creator's heart seems to be in the right place when it comes to AI. Basically, some of their features are based on machine learning and language models. For example, it will recognize passive voice, if it's an adverb with "-ly" or the emotion of a word. Which I think is all cool and fine and shouldn't be lumped in with generative AI. But he also had a website that did this analysis for already published works, and when people pointed out that it was sketchy, he took that down and I can respect that. I'm not sure how much it influenced the actual features of the app, maybe I'll just take a peek out of curiosity. The whole thing does make me have trust issues though lmao) If anyone has experience with it though, I'm interested to hear about it.
Obsidian: not a dedicated writing software, but rather an elaborate note-taking app. I heard good things about it from smart people lol If I really wanted to access my writing on my phone, I would probably use this bc it works on every platform and has end-to-end encrypted sync with version control. I heard you can also integrate it with GitHub which is always music to my ears lol But the setup probably takes a bit of time and I'm not particularly motivated to do that right now.
So yeah, those are the options that appeal to me right now. If anyone used these and has opinions, I'm all ears :D
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Hello folks! As someone who never did any celebrations nor tutorials for giffing, I decided it's finally the time now. So thank y'all for putting up with my horror shenanigans, 8k is just amazing and I hope y'all will keep enjoying my blog and posts!
PHOTOPEA GIF TUTORIAL
Moving to Photoshop after years of using Photopea, I can say while they both work very similarly, they're also different. Photoshop is far superior, you can still make very HQ and nice gifs in Photopea too! This post aims to show you my personal way of making crispy gifs while also covering the basics of getting the frames and uploading them to Photopea. (If you're looking for more detailed beginner tutorial, there's plenty of those out there, amazingly done!)
Photopea is completely free, video player is completely free, downloading movies is completely free. Only thing it'll cost you is your time.
WHAT YOU'LL NEED:
- photopea - potplayer - good quality movie file ( i go for the highest GB ones, above 10gb is amazing. Sometimes I get 40gb and prefer 1080p source. Note that higher file doesn't immediately mean higher quality - if the movie looks weird just download another one)
GETTING THE FRAMES: Once you get your source file and open it via PotPlayer, find the scene you want to gif. Using D and F keys you can go backwards or forward by single frames. When you get the perfect frame where you want the gif to start, I always go back 10 frames because PotPlayer tends to cut those out. It's better to get more frames than you need as you can always delete those extra ones later on.
I'll be giffing scene from Longlegs alongside the tutorial.
PRESS CTRL + G. This will open the frame capturing window. Fix the setting to match these:
and press "START". Click back on the PotPlayer to bring focus back on the window and hold or press the forward key - F - to play the scene and capture the frames. You can see the frames number going up on your other window. If it stays on 0 you're not capturing anything. Once the desired scene is over, press "STOP" on the frame capturing window and voila - you have your frames in your selected folder. Delete any extra or unwanted ones. The amount of frames usually sits between 40-80 depending on what ratio you'll use later on for the gifs to fit the 10mb Tumblr upload limit.
Now it's time to open PHOTOPEA.
FILE > NEW: you have to write down the exact dimensions of your frames. This action will create a new file with single background. Go back to FILE > OPEN AND PLACE > SELECT ALL YOUR FRAMES and upload them. Depending on the size of the frames, this could take a while or even lag your browser. Make sure to not click anywhere within the app before all frames are done uploading.
Now lets finally make the gif. The following were my most used gif making steps in general, play around other options and find out what works - every gif or scene is different!
Delete the original empty layer at the bottom and then select all the frames (clicking the first/last layer and then click the last/first layer while holding shift to easily select all) and by pressing CTRL+G, group them. Select all layer again and
RIGHT CLICK (on the layers) > RASTERIZE LAYER (on the upper taskbar) > ANIMATION > MAKE FRAMES Now your frames should have _a_ in their names. CREATE NEW LAYER
and select all your frames again.
CROP the whole project to whatever ratio you want, Ill be using 64x44 ratio for wider gif.
By pressing ALT+CTRL+I open the RESIZE window. Tumblr gif dimension is 540px wide max (heres tutorial for other dimensions and why correct sizing is important) so using that and "bicupic sharper" option under resample, resize the gif.
Now you have the base gif done.
Its dark, muddy and unclear. We sharpen it and give it the clear crispy look using noise. FILTER > NOISE > ADD NOISE and set the Amount to 1% and select monochromatic FILTER> SHARPEN > SMART SHARPEN > 150% amount with 1px radius FILTER> SHARPEN > SMART SHARPEN > 50% x 10px
Now its time to bring the gif to life. Create NEW ADJUSTMENT LAYER. This is where all the editing options are.
For this specific gif Im doing:
BRIGHTNESS/CONTRAST +50 brightness, +10 contrast
VIBRANCE +20 vibrance, +10 saturation
HUE/SATURATION master -50 , red +50, cyan +50, blue +50 (the reason i tune all colors in master down by 50 is to mute them all down. Adding back on colors you want is making them stand out way more! It works on gifs with dominant few colors but if the gif is very colorful, you're better off leaving this option out completely and rather work with selective colors. As I said, try it out and see!)
another layer of BRIGHTNESS/CONTRAST +20 brightness
COLOR BALANCE range: midtones > magenta - green: -11, yellow - blue: +8
SELECTIVE COLOR red: cyan: -20%, yellow: +20, black: +10 yellow: yellow: +50% white: yellow: -10%, black: -20% black: black: +4%
CURVES(those are something I didnt use much in Photopea as in general youre just fine with brightness and selective color. Just move the point on the curve and see what it does! For this gif I went with Curves like these and it enhanced the gif nicely.)
another layer of SELECTIVE COLOR > black: black: +2%
Now Im satisfied with the gif and want to save it. Clicking FILE > EXPORT AS > GIF will open this window:
Make sure the quality is at 100%, the size in darker numbers lower than 10MB. Speed in Photopea is quite tricky for some reason, but 180% - 190% is the "normal 100% speed" of the gif.
Enjoy giffing and feel free to ask anything if unclear!
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your oc website is SO SO SO SO INCREDIBLY COOL how the hell do you even start learning how to do this ?? if you learned how to do this by yourself online, are there any tutorials or resources you can share with us? was making this website free??
omg THANK YOU SO SOOOOOO MUCH!!! It makes me so happy to hear that folks like my little site. I code my site with Phoenix Code (for the live viewer and number dials) and I host my site on Neocities - it is all free. Phoenix can be used in browser or on desktop, but I like having it on desktop more for big projects in case my files get deleted. I use the browser version when I just want to test something quickly.
The 2 videos I use and can not recommend enough to anyone who asks me are this HTML tutorial and this CSS tutorial. They are simple and easy to understand, but I recommend watching it the first go, and then following along the next few watches until you get the flow of basic parts to a website, how they're organized, and what order they go in. At this point, I've memorized exactly where everything goes, and it is all thanks to these 2 videos.
If I am being honest, I learned how to code by myself, not quite even with online tutorials but just from being stupid and messing around myself (1, because I was a kid, and 2, because I didn't understand English very well to know what tutorials are saying.) I used to do html coding for Neopet pages when I was a kid with too much online time, first by just editing the default petpages and adding info and images, and then just doing trial and error with the html. I'll just try something and then if it doesn't turn out the way I want it, I try to find out why it didn't work and also get inspiration from other similar sites to figure out where things go or how they coded (with this nifty thing called right click > inspect page or right click > view page source). And BOOM, working webpage.
It was rudimentary, white blank background without any boxes or anything, you just scrolled down the page and sections were separated by a horizontal bar. OH and every text was centered! I had no idea how to make scrolling boxes or fancy assets, but damn I still had so much fun working on it every weekend. When you find authentic selfmade sites from the 90s and 2000s, most of them aren't super fancy either unlike what modern nostalgia makes you think. So I hope you don't feel discouraged if you begin making a website and feel it isn't "fancy", you're already doing a first big step which is making a webpage and learned your first set of html code!
It was over a decade later before I coded webpages with html again. I've gotten lazy and started relying on site builders, but nothing was quite as versatile as html. I wanted to try coding my own OC site again, so that was when I started working on OutKrop (the site I posted). Until I started coding again, I had literally no idea what CSS even is (and let me tell you, it's a game changer!)
Personally, I work best when I can do things hands on. I don't read through tutorials, I code first then go back and read through coding help sites like w3schools when I find myself stuck and unable to figure something out. Sometimes I grab existing codes and play around with them to see what changes and what I can do with it, cuz having visual context is what helps me a lot.
I can also share my process:
Once I gather up some ideas, I make a sketch, including what boxes (divs in css) should approximately go. It is very rough, but shows me exactly what I need to know.

Next I load up my coding app (Phoenix Code in my case) and "sketch" the layout. Nothing fancy going on here, just putting things where they need to be, and fixing size of boxes and margins if needed. I give my boxes all a background color so I can easily see how big they are and where they are located.
After some adjustments like moving stuff around and adding assets like backgrounds and images, and changing colors of the boxes, rounding off corners, etc., we get this!

so recap + additional useful sites I use:
Coding app: Phoenix Code
Site hosted on: Neocities
Video tutorials: HTML and CSS
Sites for learning code: w3schools, also lissa explains is a great site that is written for kids to learn html so it's easy to understand. Finally, sadgrl has a lot of great resources for coding as well!
I recommend looking through these sites AFTER you tried taking a spin at coding - it doesn't have to be anything fancy just follow the HTML video tutorial I linked!
Thanks for the ask, and I hope this helps you and many others out there who are interested in building a site with html/css! Don't be afraid to get things "wrong" or have an "un-fancy" site. This is how you learn to code, and it'll become so easy once you get the hang of it.
Anyone is always more than welcome to reach out for coding help and advice :-]
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I don't think anyone care, but to anyone who's still trying to figure out how to play Twisted Wonderland but got region locked, you can try download it on qooapp. The requirement is for your phone to at least at android 7 ver, and have at least 10gb space (for that game alone lol).
Now, everything you downloaded here that isn't available on your stores is NOT connected. So you will have to go to the qooapp and download the updates there, because it will not appear on your stores.

After you opened the app, click this console game icon at the top of the page.
You will see this, click.


Please stay in the app until you finish update. It will pause if you leave.
After you're done updating, it will seems like you haven't updated your game (update abortion popup). It because you need to download the update files separately. Return to My Games and click this.

Sometimes it might say you failed update. Keep clicking until it properly update like this:

Hopefully this can help those who want to play/doesn't know how to update on this app.
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A Second Chance at Life (Touya Todoroki X Fem!Reader) Chapter 6
Summary: For the past five years, you’ve been raising your son as a single mother. You’ve successfully avoided questions about his father by claiming that he died during the Paranormal Liberation War. From what you believe, this isn’t a lie. The last time you saw him was when he personally escorted you to U.A.’s shelter amidst the chaos in the streets.
Unbeknownst to you, he has been alive all this time, clinging to life in a facility working to keep him alive. His father, Enji, has been desperately searching for someone willing to heal him. After his presumed death, a single photo of you and Dabi began circulating through the underground, hinting at the nature of your relationship. To protect yourself and your child, you had to pay someone to stop the pictures from spreading further.
The photo provided answers to a long-standing question: who was the healer Dabi had been protecting? It identified you as the healer who had been deemed untouchable, but it also brought unwanted attention.
A/N: Sorry for any grammar or spelling errors in advance.This chapter turned out much longer than I expected. It didn’t start off this way. Right now, it’s definitely the longest chapter so far. I hope you enjoy!
This chapter will include Reader’s, Kou's (Reader’s assistant), and Rei’s points of view. Masterlist of ASCAF Previously Chapter Five Word Count: 3.3K+
You kept your eyes forward, ignoring the blinding camera flashes erupting from both sides. Paparazzi and news channels lined the walkway, snapping photos, shoving microphones toward you like vultures circling a fresh carcass.
"Dr. Remedy! Look over here!"
"Is it true you're treating a criminal?!"
"Are you a villain sympathizer?!"
"Traitor!"
"Is that your son?!"
You kept a soft but firm hand on the back of your eldest son’s neck, guiding him forward, making sure his face stayed hidden beneath his hoodie. He was completely covered. He is wearing a baseball cap, sunglasses, and a face mask. Every inch of him shielded from their gaze.
Security guards covering you on both sides, forcefully parting the crowd as they escorted the two of you toward the hospital entrance.
You’re only showing your face to attend the conference with Touya’s family, just as you promised. Recovery took much longer than you expected. You’re not completely out of the woods yet, but you’re stable enough to hold conversations.
The main reason your eldest, Seishiro, is accompanying you is because you're required by the Heroes Public Safety Commision to disclose his existence to his next of kin, which in this case is Enji.
You're not surprised. The truth was bound to come out eventually. You had even hired someone on the inside to tamper with the results before, making them appear inconclusive. The Todoroki family had been plastered across headlines for months, until the media eventually lost interest.
Was it ethical? No.
But you don’t regret it. Not when it meant protecting a child who barely knew what existed beyond the orphanage walls. A child who’s only just beginning to discover the world around him. There’s no reason for him to face the added burden of media scrutiny.
Especially now that Endeavor has been caught in his lie to the public. When he announced the death of Touya years ago.
_________________________
You were gathering the files and notes needed for the meeting while Seishiro was sitting, laying back on your office chair with his feets on top of the desk. He was playing a game on his phone while munching on the snacks that you have in your snack drawer.
At the very least, he has his sneakers off. You are letting it slide, because you aren't sure how they are going to react to his existence. He doesn't want to be here either for the reasons to be meeting them. People who are strangers to him.
"Seishiro,"
The white-haired boy immediately paused his app and looked up at you, one eyebrow raised with a subtle, questioning look. You almost never used his full name, usually sticking to nicknames. So when did you do it?
He knew it meant one of two things: either you needed his full attention... or he was deep in trouble.“Be on your best behavior,” you said simply. “At the very least, make a good first impression.”
That was all you asked, knowing full well that Seishiro had a smart mouth that got him into more trouble than you liked. He didn’t dare use it with you or anyone in the family. He knew better.
If he ever did, he’d be biting off more than he could chew.
The last two times he tried, it ended in disaster. Once, he was literally chased for several blocks during a family reunion by an older cousin who had zero hesitation about throwing hands with kids. The other time, your mother clapped back so hard to one of his comments that he stayed silent the entire day and even apologized before heading home.
"Okay. I will be on my best behavior, just for you, ma." Seishiro says with a mischievous smile and resettles back to his comfortable position. "Now shuu, I want to beat this lev-"
He yelped, eyes wide as he scrambled to keep from tipping over when you knocked his feet off your desk, clutching his chest like he’d just seen his life flash before his eyes.
You tried really hard to stifle your smile as you left the office, but the sight of him sitting there all dramatically offended made it nearly impossible.
You took a couple of deep breaths to shake the smile off your face, mentally preparing yourself to deal with the Todoroki family.
You knocked on the door before opening it, finding Enji and Rei already there, accompanied by Shouto and Fuyumi. It seemed you were interrupting something.
Fuyumi and Rei looked flustered and frustrated, their expressions saying it all.
"Was I interrupting something?"
"Y-"
"No." Enji cut off Shouto, who stared at him, clearly disappointed.
"Hm. If you’d like to see Mr. Todoroki," you said, offering the option. "I can take you to see him before we go over the details of the operation and his action plan."
___________________________________________________
You escorted them to let you see Touya behind the glass in a private section deeper within the hospital since the media is outside and has more security than usual. He was purposely hidden away within the maze of the hallways.
He was moved into another room when the paparazzi reached his room at some point last week.
Shouto was the only one who didn't stay long at the window unlike the rest of his family. Enji and Rei look close to tears seeing their eldest son sleeping peacefully.
The reconstruction of his entire body, including muscles and bones, was the reason he now has the arm he lost years ago. Essentially, he has a completely new body.
As you explained, the operation is more detailed than Kou has done. You were using the body scans of Touya's own body to explain what happened.
You refused to take all the credit when Enji tried to profusely thank you.
"It was teamwork," you replied, your eyes still focused on your paperwork as you spoke. "Working with other doctors and nurses whose quirks helped make it possible for Mr. Todoroki to essentially start from zero. But from now on, it’s his responsibility to take care of his body."
You glanced up at Enji, who nodded in understanding.
"He should be waking up soon. That’s our only concern at this point. He’s been stable since the operation. He’s out of the woods. Once he wakes, we’ll evaluate his physical responses and whether he’s able to speak," you said, then looked over at the rest of the Todoroki family.
"From there, he’ll be transferred to the rehabilitation center listed in the original paperwork you included in his action plan. They’ll be responsible for providing whatever therapy Touya needs whether it’s physical, occupational, mental health support, or anything else required to help him adjust back into society." You softly say before looking through your paperwork.
“Before we end this meeting, I’ll need Endeavor’s permission to disclose the next piece of information,” you say, sliding a folder across the table. “Due to the presence of two civilians and a pro hero not directly involved in the case, I was instructed to obtain written approval before proceeding. This request comes directly from the HPSC.”
You open the folder, revealing two documents. One for Shouto, the other for Rei and Fuyumi.
“What is this about?” Shouto asks, narrowing his eyes.
“It’s related to a classified mission. Everyone involved was required to sign NDAs because of the nature of the case,” you reply, keeping your gaze firmly on Enji.
“Which case?” Enji asks slowly, eyes flicking toward the papers. You can see it in his posture. The slight tension, the shift in his shoulders. He already knows. The name is probably burning on the tip of his tongue.
“The orphanage case,” you say, your voice calm. “The one involving Dr. Garaki.”
Enji’s hands curl into fists, jaw clenched. He lowers his eyes to the documents, scanning the details. You can tell he’s hesitating. He is debating whether or not to let his family hear even a fraction of what happened during that mission.
“It’ll be surface-level only,” you assure him. “No in-depth information. That’s all the HPSC permits.”
You pause, giving him time to think. “After this, you’re welcome to request a private briefing for more details. If you choose to share it with your family, that’ll be up to you.”
He simply picked up the pen. His hand hovered for a moment, frozen mid-air, before he finally signed the documents.
You moved wordlessly, pulling out two photographs. One of Seishiro as a child when he was first taken from the orphanage, and the other a recent image of him now. You slid them across the table toward Enji, who was seated closest.
His eyes widened, but you didn’t pause.
“This case was unique,” you began, turning your attention to the others, who were clearly confused. “Dr. Garaki was attempting to create artificial children, clones , using the DNA of heroes and villains alike. The purpose was to raise them as soldier-weapons. Designed to look like someone familiar, someone recognizable, even loved. The moral dilemma that causes is intentional.”
The photo made its way down the table. Fuyumi’s breath hitched.
“Years before the war, Dr. Garaki somehow obtained Mr. Todoroki’s blood. That’s how this boy who goes by Seishiro was made. Biologically, he’s a clone of your eldest son. He didn’t inherit his fire, but instead a warped version of his mother’s quirk. On top of that, he was given an additional one. His body and abilities were genetically modified to fit Garaki’s ideal creation.”
You pulled out more photographs. Milestone images from over the years and placed them gently on the table.
“Who raised him?” Enji asked, voice low and tight. “Why wasn’t I told about this sooner?”
You didn’t flinch at his stare. Your voice remained steady.
“I did. I’ve been raising him. I am technically speaking, his mother. As much as Seishiro looks like Mr. Todoroki, he is also mine. His DNA is a combination of ours.”
Enji’s face tensed, eyes narrowing as that answer hit him like a punch to the gut. You noticed his jaw clench, the flicker of something dangerous behind his eyes—but you didn’t waver.
“The reason you were never notified,” you explained, “is because Mr. Todoroki’s blood was never registered in the updated national hospital database until recently. Once it was entered and cross-matched, the alert was sent to the HPSC, and then to me. Since Mr. Todoroki is currently unconscious, I’m required to inform his next of kin.”
Your gaze met Enji’s, unwavering. “That’s you, Endeavor.”
The silence was thick. until Rei’s soft voice cut through it like a blade.
“Would you have ever told us, if you weren’t required to?”
"No," you answered without hesitation, voice firm but not unkind. "That choice belongs to my son. If he ever wanted to find you, I’d never stand in his way. But I wouldn’t have come to you, not unless I was required to."
That truth hung in the air, heavier than everything before it.
Fuyumi’s voice came next, barely above a whisper. “How old is he?”
You met her eyes gently. “He’s twelve.”
You stood then, calmly smoothing down your white coat.
“I’m required to offer you the opportunity to meet him. But for now, I’ll give you time to process this. Talk amongst yourselves, decide what you want to do moving forward.”
You turned toward the door.
“I’ll be back in ten minutes.”
And with that, you stepped out, leaving behind the heavy silence and whirlwind of emotions that clung to the room like smoke.
Out in the hallway, you exhaled low and shaky. The door shut quietly behind you, but the weight of Enji’s stare lingered like a hand around your neck. Cold. Unreadable. There had been something behind his eyes just before it vanished. Something dangerous.
You didn’t like it.
Not one bit.
So you stood there for a moment, grounding yourself. One breath in. One out. You weren’t just protecting your son from the world. You were protecting him from them .
Especially when Touya made it clear. Years ago, when you were pregnant with Renji, he didn't want any of his family members, especially Enji, to ever know about Renji's existence unless you had no other choice.
You're trying your best to respect his wishes. Seishiro’s existence had been completely out of your hands. But Renji isn’t. You have control over that, at the very least.
Seishiro knew about them long before you were ever required to say anything, because when he was younger, he wanted to know who his father was. He started asking questions after seeing other kids at school getting picked up by their dads…
and realizing he didn’t have one.
You were honest with him.
Both Seishiro and Renji share the same father, which is why the two look so much alike. Despite being created under completely different circumstances, you constantly remind Seishiro that he will always be your child and that you will always love him, no matter what.
At the very least, Seishiro can defend himself if something were to happen, especially if it involved Enji Todoroki. He has decent control over his quirk now, but he still wears the quirk-nullifying jewel bracelets. The same ones you took him to get, because you wanted that choice to be his, not anyone else's.
The reason is simple: his quirk activates when his emotions get too strong. And it’s hard to control when he is overwhelmed by emotion.
You’ve lost count of how many times kids tried to pick on him, assuming he was quirkless. He doesn’t brag about his quirk or show it off like some of his classmates. But the moment someone messes with a friend, especially the one who is quirkless. He’ll step in without hesitation.
He used to argue, sometimes even fight, just to pull their attention away. Now, he’s perfected a glare that reminds you far too much of Touya. A look that says fuck off without needing a single word. And surprisingly, it’s been working. He hasn’t gotten into a single fight this year.
He can take care of himself now. And if things ever escalate, he knows how to use his quirk to escape the situation instead, with a trick you taught him from your own experience handling loud, reckless patients. It’s about buying time to get away and call for help.
Unlike Renji, who’s still too young.
Renji’s quirk is already a ticking time bomb. None of the quirk analyses you've run have been able to predict it. Because it doesn’t exist yet.
That alone deeply concerns you. Especially now, with his white hair slowly turning a bright red. Probably an indicator of fire, inherited from the Todoroki bloodline.
You worry because Touya’s body couldn’t handle his own flames when he was younger. His quirk hurt him.
The closer Renji’s birthday gets, the more on edge everyone in your family becomes. They’re all keeping a close eye on him, including Seishiro.
None of your family members have fire quirks, which is why there’s more than one fire extinguisher in different parts of the house.
It gives you anxiety.
You’ve seen the cases of how many children are hurt by their own quirks. And with the growing theory that quirks only get stronger as generations pass…
It doesn’t help Renji’s case, either. Not with Touya’s flames already stronger than his father’s. Not with your own quirk being a mutation between your mother’s and father’s.
The possibilities are endless, and you have to stop yourself from researching more.
Because if you don’t, you know it’ll only feed your anxiety even more. Bonus Scene: Seishiro had left his mother's office and headed down to the flower shop on the bottom floor, wearing only his face mask to avoid drawing attention from the heroes patrolling the halls. Otherwise, he'd end up looking like a sick patient.
He noticed that some of the heroes looked completely bored out of their minds.
The hospital staff greeted him left and right. Many of them recognized him, as you often took him with you to work until he was cleared by the HPSC to be enrolled in school. Despite the face mask, they recognized him easily. He wasn’t really trying to hide his identity.
"Oh my! Is that you, Little (Y/L/N)?" The elderly woman who ran the flower shop beamed at the sight of him. It had been a couple of years since she'd seen him. He removed his face mask as she requested to let her see his face.
"What can I help you with, sweetheart?" The woman’s smile was so warm that he couldn’t help but return a nervous smile.
She used to give him lollipops and candies whenever he came in with you, trying to make him smile. Back then, he didn’t even know how to smile.
"Something nice. I barely know anything about flowers. Just trying to make a good impression," Seishiro muttered, nervously scratching his arm.
"Oh! What's the occasion?"
"Meeting my father's family," Seishiro said, unsure how much to share. He doubted the elderly woman would gossip, though.
"You don’t sound too excited to meet them."
"I’m not. I’d rather be at school, writing essays all day, than meeting them," Seishiro complained, leaning on the small desk while watching her gather flowers. His comment made her laugh.
"Hopefully, it’s not too bad," she said, continuing to arrange the bouquet.
Seishiro huffed but said nothing. He rested his head on his palm, watching her before glancing at the heroes walking in.
"Are you being good to your mom?"
"Yes… I try to be," Seishiro muttered, knowing he could be a handful at times.
Most of the time, you were always on his side. The number of times you had to come to school for meetings about the fights he got into was endless.
You always wanted to hear his side of the story before hearing the administration's version. You believed in his honesty, and he couldn’t lie to you because he couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing you.
The one time he did lie and got caught, the look of disappointment on your face haunted him. It only happened once, and that was enough for him. When he joined in bullying a quirkless person, he was trying to fit in.
But after that, he withdrew from that friend group. They weren’t the kind of people he wanted to be around, and you clearly disapproved when you found out.
You were disappointed and gave him a long lecture. He lost his electronics and television privileges for 3 months.
You made him learn about the discrimination faced by quirkless people the old-fashioned way by reading books at the library with his grandmother, who agreed with the punishment.
That lesson made him realize how difficult life was for quirkless people in a society full of quirks. He voluntarily apologized to the quirkless kid, who was shocked to even receive an apology.
Seishiro would rather be an outcast than part of a group that bullied others. He remained an outcast for the rest of elementary school but somehow became friends with that same quirkless kid.
He refused to be peer-pressured into picking on someone who was quirkless, especially after everything he had learned. He was the only one who spoke out against bullying, which made him a target of the same friend group. He doesn't even know what gave them the idea that he is quirkless.
He was proud of the fact that he had beaten them up without a quirk. He even told his quirk trainer about it and received a high-five for his effort. Not many people could fight without their quirks, especially at his age.
He was snapped back to reality when his mind drifted elsewhere.
"As long as you're trying to get better, that's what matters. You're still young. You'll make mistakes. Everyone does, even grown-ups. The important thing is learning from them," the elderly woman said as she handed him a beautiful bouquet.
Seishiro was about to reach for his wallet to pay, but the woman shook her head.
"It's in the house. Save your money and buy some of your favorite candy with it. I wish you luck with that meeting, Little (L/N)," she said with a smile, which made him smile in return.
"Thank you, Miss Lily," Seishiro said, before covering his face again.
________________________ Anyway... what do you guys think of Seishiro so far? 👀 Does the apple fall far from the tree (Touya)?
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