#this has been living in my files for so long

[orange-catsidy]

i said that i havent been on tumblr much bc my real life has been going well which is true but also because wellness looks different than how i imagined it would

i've mostly just been busy. so busy ive had way less time for keeping up with socials and for my really in-depth hyperfixation-y hobbies like making gifs and archiving media of my favs and even drawing. busy cleaning and making the house nice and learning to cook and going to events. busy trying to take care of my body with skin care and exercising again and eating better. busy with annoying stuff like making appointments and repairing broken things i've had lying around forever and busy with boring stuff like 'trying to understand my finances' and 'filing taxes'. it's a good kind of busy.

//positive post with mention of past suicidal ideation

a lot of these mundane tasks that have been making me so busy lately have been things i've been avoiding or putting off for years, not just out of anxiety, but bc subconsciously i never thought i would live long enough for them to matter. even when things in my life were objectively Fine and i felt Fine, i never wanted to think about if i was happy at my job or retirement plans or getting nagging little health problems checked out or even like, putting on sunscreen to protect my skin bc i was still existing with the vague notion that i would surely die in the near future, so why bother?

it's annoying and boring to suddenly have all these CHORES pile up on me but i know it's a good sign. because the dial in my mind has adjusted from a future where i am definitely dead, young, by whatever means, to a future where i will grow old

and even though i'm busy, the days seem to pass slower bc i'm generally more present in my life and not just getting through it. hopefully once this first bunch of overdue chores is done i'll reach more of a balance and start up my time intensive hobbies again. a human lifespan is long and i have the rest of it to do everything i've been missing

[tinydefector]

can i request a drabble or something short even with shockwave (like g1/prime) x reader nsfw angst with shockwave fucking his partner and just being really Grounded and enjoying the moment but he thinks too hard on it and realizes how legitamegly short and insignificant their lifespan is and it just. clenches his spark and readers like what's wrong. and he's having trouble handling feelings in general but this is. This is just a lot (i want to be cared about and missed and cherished by my favorite purple boob robot)

While living

Word count: 1k

Warnings: smut

______________

small hands cling onto Shockwave plating with each roll of his hips, Their smaller body spread out across the soft bedding. His name is on their lips. As he slowly thrusts into them, his movements are measured and controlled, not wishing to hurt them with his size or plating.

Their moans, whimpers and cries fill the room, echoing in Shockwave's audials With each thrust, Shockwave presses deeper into their body slowly rolling his hips to meet theirs, his servo rest on their hip as he runs scans and checks with every movement. they roll back to meet each of his thrust.

His name leaves their lips as they arch into each thrust. "Shockwave" he bottoms out in their much smaller and softer body. Watching the way they struggle to take all of his spike. Shockwave's optic flickers as he analyses each little sound and movement.

His digits eagerly trace across their skin, documenting every little freckle and mark. To him it was as if he was documenting stars.

Their hand reached out to grab his servo rested on their hip. A slurry of moans and whimpers leave them as they roll their hips in time with his much slower thrust. They pepper little kisses across his chassis. Shockwave's optic narrows slightly as he watches the way his spike slowly bulges their stomach with each thrust. He never tired of having them at his mercy in such a way, how they looked taking him. He had documented every moment and kept them as save files.

He continues his slower, deliberate thrusts, syncing his movements with their rolling hips. He grabs them cupping their back as he slowly pulls them back onto his spike.

the softness and warmth of their touch against his body has him shuttering. Their moans and whimpers fill the space between them as he cradles their faces, It makes shockwave realise how different they are from him, such a small and soft form, and it makes ice run through his lines when he realises the mortality of humans.

He pauses as his optic focuses on them. Their eyes flicker up to the shockwave's face. "Shockwave is everything alright?" They call out through panted breaths. Shockwave's optic momentarily flickers in response. He goes even more quietly than he normally is.

"Yes,"

he responds, his voice steady and composed.

"I am functioning within acceptable parameters. Merely processing data, documenting."

His servo gently caresses their cheek, a gesture of reassurance.

"You need not worry,"

As he observes them he can see the lines of ageing already present on their face. They sit up slowly running their hand under his optic as they cup the side of his helm. "Talk to me shockwave, you seem distant" He didn't know how long he would have with them and that made his spark ache. As they sit up and cup the side of his helm, their touch gentle and comforting, Shockwave's expression remains stoic, masking the emotions that stir within him.

"I apologise, my Processor is… distance,"

Shockwave responds, his voice static laced as he cradles them. Leaning slightly into their touch, allowing himself to savour the warmth and tenderness they offer him so willingly. The realisation of the limited time they may have together weighs heavily on him.

Their face falters as they look up at the shockwave slowly pulling away from his spike, standing up on shaky legs. "Shockwave, have you been running calculations again?" They ask softly, knowing he had. Shockwave's optic narrows slightly, the sight triggers a surge of guilt within him, knowing that his calculations and tracking have inadvertently caused them distress.

"Yes,"

Shockwave admits, his voice tinged with a hint of regret.

"I have been running calculations to ensure your health and well-being."

They pull him down enough so they can press their head to the underside of his helm. They stand there for a moment. "How about we stop calculations just for tonight." They state while pressing their face into the plating. "How about we watch a documentary"

Shockwave's optic widens slightly in surprise as they pull him down, allowing their head to press against the underside of his helm.

He stands there, frozen in the moment, feeling the weight of their head against him.

"I... agree,"

Shockwave responds, his voice holding a touch of vulnerability.

"Ceasing calculations for the night would be... acceptable."

He allows himself to relax, to let go of his analytical mindset, and focus on just them.

As they press their face into his plating, he gently wraps an arm around their frame,

they lay against his helm. "Shockwave, are you worried?" They ask as they snuggle against his side curled in blankets.

"I am... conscious of the fleeting nature of our time together."

He pauses, his servo gently caressing their back in a gesture of comfort.

"The limitations of mortality weigh on my calculations,"

"You are important to me."

They press their hand to his helm, sending a surge of warmth through his circuits. "You're important to me too, I love you shockwave." They press a kiss to his optic, the sound of the documentary fade into background noise. It makes Shockwave's spark ache, it felt unfair to love someone who wasn't of the same species.

"I..."

Shockwave begins, his voice momentarily faltering, a mix of surprise and uncertainty creeping into his tone. The words "I love you" are not ones he is accustomed to hearing or reciprocating, so instead he presses his Helm to their head holding them closely

"I value you deeply,"

he finally responds, his voice holding a rare hint of vulnerability and emotion he never let other witnesses.

“You are My spark, I fear to lose you”

He states static laced his voice again as he blinks and presses closer to them.

“I know, but I'm only human Shocks, that's how life is” they whisper to him. They sigh softly as they trace little patterns across his plating. “Let's not think about it anymore. Let's just enjoy our night together ” they hum against his plating.

______________

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[bestworstcase]

Oh okay, i see your point better now, sorry if the "hating Ozpin" thing looked like a excuse to start a fight btw! One last thing, do you have any opinions on Tyrian?

o7 no worries

tyrian is, imo, so far the least interesting of salem’s inner circle primarily because we don’t yet have any idea of his backstory beyond that he went on a killing spree in mistral and later burst into tears and started worshipping salem on sight, as per his arrest file. whether we ever get more than that remains to be seen—and in and of itself "faunus with dangerous trait growing up in the place notorious for being virulently bigoted" might be enough to make someone crack, if he didn’t have anybody in his life to counterbalance the evil way humans would’ve treated him throughout his life.

but i would ideally like to know a little bit more about his background. not like backstory-episode levels because that’s far out of scope for his degree of importance but like we know a lot more about watts’s history and the background with hazel and gretchen is carrying a lot of narrative weight (and may continue to do so if i’m right about gretchen having been the last spring maiden).

this post is about mercury but it does touch on what currently interests me most about tyrian, which is that he’s a narrative foil to mercury and specifically a twisted ideal form of the (false) nihilistic self mercury projects—a living weapon with no conscience whose purpose in life is to be pointed at the enemy and obey without question. this is what mercury pretends to be and what tyrian gladly chooses to be. also i want to see what happens if jax uses his semblance on tyrian.

his rivalry with qrow could also develop in an interesting direction in vacuo—i’m not 100% convinced it will, because qrow’s big moment of growth in v8 is about letting go of vengeance, but if tyrian crosses his path in vacuo it’s not like he’ll hold back lmao—because what kicked it off back in v4 was that tyrian couldn’t faze him. a lot of tyrian’s power in combat arises from his cackling unhinged behavior, it’s off-putting and strange and unpredictable and that knocks his opponents off their game, except for qrow; when qrow just calmly decks him and kicks him away tyrian stops laughing and cowers because he doesn’t know what to do and his vengeance in v7 involves pushing qrow into an emotional enough state that he loses his focus and tyrian can shock him by stabbing clover in the back. so now (in tyrian’s mind) they’re even. what happens the next time they meet? there’s a lot of narrative curveballs that could be thrown here.

um his allusion to the scorpion is also something i roll around in my head a lot, because he’s long since killed his frog… but there’s an older version of the story where the scorpion asks a turtle for passage across the river, and the turtle of course isn’t harmed by the sting and so drowns the scorpion on purpose out of disgust with its refusal to control itself. and well. the fanatic nature of tyrian’s devotion to salem feels like he’s one shattering disappointment—like say, finding out he’s mistaken about what she wants?—away from snapping and attacking her, or perhaps going for cinder (<- i think this is foreshadowed pretty unsubtly by that scene in 4.11), and then salem. er. flattens him. scorpion, turtle. if he’s killed i expect it’ll either be gillian (whose semblance is the inverse and natural counter to his) or salem (immortal) who does it.

i do sort of expect that he’ll reveal a new layer or two in the vacuo arc simply because he’s one of the very few notable characters who has hitherto not really wavered from being what he says on the tin—watts and hazel both had a bit more depth and with tyrian taking point in vacuo and evidently infiltrating the crown, the narrative opportunity to do the same with him is right there. so…

[totally-not-an-awkward-okapi]

The fiery children of two apocalypse cults ponder their coffee together.

[nguyenfinity]

[slams this on the table] HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY

Extra:

[nachosncheezies]

People like Bill Jr. got all kinds of things wrong about Scully but probably none moreso than thinking it was tragic that Mulder was dragging her along on some descent into madness, when actually the real tragedy was how few of the people she loved ever realized it wasn't a descent.

(It couldn't be bc 1. it's not madness and 2. she was already there.)

[science-lings]

When Trucy moves out to go on tour and be an Adult I think that Phoenix would be so lonely which is his least favorite thing to be, and the best way to fix that is for him to adopt the meanest most fucked up asshole cat who becomes his best friend within a month. We already know it’s a big part of his personality to be like ‘I can fix them’ whenever he sees someone who needs help and gets a little depressed when he has to be alone.

He can’t stand the silence of an empty apartment so what better way to fix it than with a creature who will yell at him for the fun of it while eventually fulfilling his physical affection requirements after a long day of having a Normal job. He’s at his best when he has someone to take care of so what better than a ratty little kibby who needs to learn the power of love.

[daz4i]

how is it. that for a whole week. the house smelled fine, and other than some dust and cat hair it was really clean too, and everything was organized and easy to find with no towers of dishes in the sink about to topple over. even tho i didn't clean that much or do anything out of the ordinary to keep the house this way. but now my parents have been home for like 3 days and already every room except for mine is inhospitable from how bad they all smell, and there's mess all over, and the table is constantly sticky, and the sink is somehow full yet barely has any dishes in it bc the way they're organized is so ineffective, and i hate it here i wanna leave so bad

[heyitsphoenixx]

.

[puddlesandpadding]

You are certainly allowed to orgasm, kiddo.

I didn't say it'd be easy, though.

[threadmonster]

I haven't watched the live action but something about it existing and how people are responding to it has me not only wanting to watch it but to start One Piece altogether. I. Am. Miffed.

[punisheddonjuan]

So You've Finally Switched to Firefox: a Brief Guide to a Some Very Useful Add-Ons.

This post is inspired by two things, the first being the announcement by Google that the long delayed Manifest V3 which will kill robust adblocking will finally roll out in June 2024, and the second, a post written by @sexhaver in response to a question as to what adblockers and extensions they use. It's a very good post with some A+ information, worth checking out.

I love Firefox, I love the degree of customization it offers me as a user. I love how it just works. I love the built in security features like DNS over HTTPS, and I love just how many excellent add-ons are available. It is a better browser than Chrome in every respect, and of the many Chromium based browsers out there, only Vivaldi comes close.

There are probably many people out there who are considering switching over to Firefox but are maybe putting it off because they've got Chrome set up the way they like it with the extensions they want, and doing all that again for Firefox seems like a chore. The Firefox Add-on directory is less expansive than the Chrome Web Store (which in recent years has become overrun with garbage extensions that range from useless to active malware), but there is still a lot of stuff to sift through. That's where this short guide comes in.

I'm presently running 33 add-ons for Firefox and have a number of others installed but disabled. I've used many others. These are my picks, the ones that I consider essential, useful, or in some cases just fun.

Adblocking/Privacy/Security:

uBlock Origin: The single best adblocker available. If you're a power user there are custom lists and scripts you can find to augment it.

Privacy Badger: Not strictly necessary if you're also running uBlock, but it does catch a few trackers uBlock doesn't and replaces potentially useful trackers like comment boxes with click-to-activate placeholders.

Decentraleyes: A supplementary tool meant to run alongside uBlock, prevents certain sites from breaking when tracker requests are denied by serving local bundled files as replacement.

NoScript: The nuclear option for blocking trackers, ads, and even individual elements. Operates from a "trust no one" standpoint, you will need to manually enable elements yourself. Not recommended for casual users, but a fantastic tool for the power user.

Webmail Ad Blocker: The first of many webmail related add-ons from Jason Saward I will be recommending. Removes all advertising from webmail services like Gmail or Yahoo Mail.

Popup Blocker (Strict): Strictly blocks ALL pop up/new tab/new window requests from all website by default unless you manually allow it.

SponsorBlock: Not a fan of listening to your favourite YouTuber read advertisements for shitty products like Raycons or BetterHelp? This skips them automatically.

AdNauseam: I don't use this one but some people prefer it. Rather than straight up blocking ads and trackers, it obfuscates data by injecting noise into the tracker surveillance infrastructure. It clicks EVERY ad, making your data profile incomprehensible.

User-Agent Switcher: Allows you to spoof websites attempting to gather information by altering your browser profile. Want to browse mobile sites on desktop? This allows you to do it.

Bitwarden: Bitwarden has been my choice of password manager since LastPass sold out and made their free tier useless. If you're not using a password manager, why not? All of my passwords look like this: $NHhaduC*q3VhuhD&scICLKjvM4rZK5^c7ID%q5HVJ3@gny I don't know a single one of them and I use a passphrase as a master password supplemented by two-factor-authentication. Everything is filled in automatically. It is the only way to live.

Proton Pass: An open source free password manager from the creators of Proton Mail. I've been considering moving over to it from Bitwarden myself.

Webmail/Google Drive:

Checker Plus for Gmail: Provides desktop notifications for Gmail accounts, supports managing multiple accounts, allows you to check your mail, read, mark as read or delete e-mails at a glance in a pop-up window. An absolutely fabulous add-on from Jason Saward.

Checker Plus for Google Drive: Does for your Google Drive what Checker Plus for Gmail does for your Gmail.

Checker Plus for Google Calendar: The same as the above two only this time for your Google Calendar.

Firefox Relay: An add-on that allows you to generate aliases that forward to your real e-mail address.

Accessibility:

Dark Reader: Gives every page on the internet a customizable Dark Mode for easier reading and eye protection.

Read Aloud: A text to speech add-on that reads pages with the press of a button.

Zoom Page WE: Provides the ability to zoom in on pages in multiple ways: text zoom, full page zoom, auto-fit etc.

Mobile Dyslexic: Not one I use, but I know people who swear by it. Replaces all fonts with a dyslexia friendly type face.

Utility:

ClearURLs: Automatically removes tracking data from URLs.

History Cleaner: Automatically deletes browser history older than a set number of days.

Feedbro RSS Feed Reader: A full standalone reader in your browser, take control of your feed and start using RSS feeds again.

Video Download Helper: A great tool for downloading video files from websites.

Snap Link Plus: Fan of Wikipedia binge holes? Snap Link allows the user to drag select multiple hyperlinks and open all of them in new tabs.

Copy PlainText: Copy any text without formatting.

EPUBReader: Read .epub files from within a browser window.

Tab Stash: A no mess, no fuss way to organize groups of tabs as bookmarks. I use it as a temporary bookmark tool, saving sessions or groups of tabs into "to read" folders.

Tampermonkey/Violentmonkey: Managers for installing and running custom user scripts. Find user scripts on OpenUserJS or Greasy Fork, there's an entire galaxy out there of ingenious and weird custom user scripts out there, go discover it.

Browsing & Searching:

Speed Dial 2: A new tab add-on that gives you easy access to your favourite sites.

Unpaywall: Whenever you come across a scholarly article behind a paywall, this add-on will search through all the free databases for an accessible and non-paywalled version of the text.

Web Archives: Come across a dead page? This add-on gives you a quick way to search for cached versions of the page on the Wayback Machine, Google Cache, Archive.is and others.

Bypass Paywalls: Automatically bypasses the paywalls of major websites like those for the New York Times, New Yorker, the Financial Times, Wired, etc.

Simple Translate: Simple one-click translation of web pages powered by Google Translate.

Search by Image: Reverse search any image via several different search engines: Google Image, TinEye, Yandex, Bing, etc.

Website Specific:

PocketTube: Do you subscribe to too many YouTube channels? Would you like a way to organize them? This is your answer.

Enhancer for Youtube: Provides a suite of options that make using YouTube more pleasant: volume boost, theatre mode, forced quality settings, playback speed and mouse wheel volume control.

Augmented Steam: Improves the experience of using Steam in a browser, see price histories of games, take notes on your wishlist, make wish listed games and new DLC for games you own appear more visible, etc.

Return YouTube Dislikes: Does exactly what it says on the package.

BlueBlocker: Hate seeing the absolute dimmest individuals on the planet have their replies catapulted to the top of the feed because they're desperate to suck off daddy Elon sloppy style? This is for you, it automatically blocks all Blue Checks on Twitter. I've used it to block a cumulative 34,000 Blue Checks.

Batchcamp: Allows for batch downloading on Bandcamp.

XKit Rewritten: If you're on Tumblr and you're not using whichever version of XKit is currently available, I honestly don't know what to say to you. This newest version isn't as fully featured as the old XKit of the golden age, but it's been rewritten from the ground up for speed and utility.

Social Fixer for Facebook: I once accidentally visited Facebook without this add-on enabled and was immediately greeted by the worst mind annihilating content slop I had ever had the misfortune to come across. Videos titled "he wanted her to get lip fillers and she said no so he had bees sting her lips" and AI photos of broccoli Jesus with 6000 comments all saying "wow". Once I turned it on it was just stuff my dad had posted and updates from the Radio War Nerd group.

BetterTTV: Makes Twitch slightly more bearable.

Well I think that's everything. You don't have to install everything here, or even half of it, but there you go, it's a start.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes

I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.

Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.

A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.

C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.

Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.

My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.

While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.

To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?

What are these acronyms?

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

[augustinewrites]

your apartment fills with the mouthwatering scents of buckwheat and dashi as you begin to unpack the takeout that's just been delivered. but even with your stomach already growling, you pause, confused.

“kento?” you call to where he’s is leaning against the counter.

“yes, love?”

you count the boxes again, frowning. “why did you order three? is one for your other girlfriend?”

“of course not,” he replies, unfazed by your teasing accusation as he continues to scroll through his tablet. “she doesn't like soba.”

you throw a napkin in his direction when your see the small smirk curling on his lips, shutting off his tablet to look over at you.

you wait, watching him expectantly.

"it's…for yuuji.”

“ah,” you realize, unable to keep from smiling. “your protégé.”

“he’s more like my intern,” he corrects, taking two plates from the cabinet.

you grab a third, following him to the dining table to help him set up. “you fired your last intern because you didn’t like how he organized your files. yet this one is sukuna’s vessel, and you’re bringing him soba.”

nanami pulls out your chair, kissing the top of your head before settling in his own seat. "you don't approve."

"it's not about that. if you say he's not dangerous, of course i believe you.”

he looks at you for a moment, and you can practically see the gears turning in his head as he figures out what to say.

“i just…don’t want him to feel so alone,” he says softly. “you heard about what happened at the detention center. gojo’s trying to hide him from the higher-ups right now, but we don’t know how long that’ll last. he’s just a kid, and gojo’s has a lot going on. so i— i want to look out for him.”

he glances over at the takeout bag, where the third box is sitting. “i may not be able to protect him like gojo can, but i can at least make sure he’s eating.”

you know he’s been exhausted lately. you can see it in the lines on his face and the slight sag of his shoulders when he trudges home at the end of the day.

yet he still finds time to care for a student that’s not his own.

and oh, if that did not make your heart skip a beat, knowing you were loved by a man capable of such care. you can’t help but watch him, almost unable to wrap your head around how lucky you are.

“you’re staring, dear.”

you sigh loudly, rising from your seat to wrap your arms around his shoulders, kissing his cheek. “i think my heart might burst if i find another reason to love you more than i already do.”

he takes your hand, pressing his lips to your engagement ring.

“you love me plenty already. which is why you’ve already set a third plate out to invite yuuji to eat with us, correct?”

_____

“and then nanamin charged in and chopped it up just like this—”

nanami watches you watch yuuji swing a single chopstick menacingly as he recounts their last mission.

“he just charged in, hm?” you ask calmly. “yuuji, you’ll tell me if my fiancé is being reckless, won’t you?”

“yes ma’am!”

the blond sits up, clearing his throat. “surely that’s not necessary.”

“he’s so stubborn, isn’t he?” you ask the boy sitting across from you, even rolling your eyes.

“sure is! he’s pretty bossy too.”

nanami’s scoffs as if he’s annoyed, but secretly…secretly he couldn’t be more pleased.

he’s always wanted to be a lot of things in his life. a good sorcerer, a good employee. a good man.

but all of those things he thought he needed to be to live a full life are irrelevant.

because nothing is more fufilling than being needed and being loved.

[jinjeriffic]

Young Justice x DP prompt

While roaming, Danielle runs into Young Justice. They think she's just a random meta runaway kid and she joins the team. The thing is, when Batman assembles a baseline medical file for her, he runs a DNA sample and discovers she's genetically his daughter. Bruce has a private meltdown about how he has a preteen daughter he never knew about who has been living on the streets for who knows how long and oh god every terrible thing that could have happened to her etc. etc. Once he gets a grip on himself he tries to do the whole "Ellie, I am your father" spiel with her. Ellie immediately transforms and Nopes the hell out before he even finishes the elevator pitch because she has TRAUMA about billionaires pretending to be her father using and abusing her, okay?

The Team eventually catches up to her and try to gently coax her into coming back with them. Only...

Ellie: This makes absolutely no sense! I'm a clone!

Robin: Uh...

Ellie: And unless Batman is secretly a teenage superhero from Bumfuck Nowhere, Illinois then there's no way he's my biological father!

Robin: *mental BSOD*

--------

Robin: So good news B, Ellie is not your secret lovechild you never knew about. The better news is you may be getting two kids for the price of one!