#this has gotta be some kinda mental illness probably

[honeybard]

I do need fellow neverafter bloggers/followers to know if anyone makes an into the woods reference I will start running around in circles and barking. I have listened to the soundtrack on loop for 6 - 7 hours straight on several occasions. idk what's wrong with me

[123-im-writing-lol]

Matt Murdock x Autistic!Reader headcannons? Yes pls :3

Note: first time doing hcs so the format will probably suck. This is based off of my own experiences as an autistic person and how I think Matt would be with an autistic s/o 🤷‍♀️ also I wrote this on and off for a few days so sorry if it’s kinda incoherent at some points

Tw: sfw and nsfw, mentions of mental illness (I think?), Matt can pick reader up, terminology like “understimulated” “overstimulated” and “stim/stimming” being used, pet names (angel, sweetheart, honey, bug, etc), I tried to make the reader gender neutral but I myself identify as a woman so there might be some mistakes I overlooked. There might be more but I have a headache and can’t think at all so sorry :/

Sfw

• If you’re feeling under/overstimulated and need to stim intensely I feel like he’d help; picking you up by your ankles and letting you hang upsidedown for a few moments, squeezing/hugging you tightly/laying on top of you if you need deep pressure, etc.

• Would 100% be concerned about your more iffy stims / the ones that could get you hurt. Feels like he has to monitor you if you’re spinning in circles and shit:

*Standing a foot away while you spin, his arms instinctively reaching for you if he feels like you’re gonna fall.* “Sweetheart-! Be careful please”

/

*Quickly reaching out in order to help redirect you when you’re overwhelmed and doing something harmful (banging on your head, smacking your legs, etc).* “Hey. No, shh, come on, hold my hands. You gotta be careful beautiful.” *As he takes your hands in his, urging you to squeeze them in order to calm yourself.*

• Would be understanding and accommodating, especially because he himself is disabled.

Maybe you go to a restaurant and it’s really loud or busy, he’d definitely offer to go somewhere else or even take you home.

•Will warn you before using something loud (like a blender or vacuum). He just values your comfort.

• Respects your preferences even if they could be deemed stupid.

Back to the restaurant thing, I always feel the need to sit in the back of a restaurant and I always need to sit in a certain seat or else I feel uncomfortable and annoyed. Most people judge me for that but I have a feeling he wouldn’t.

/

If you need your food to be prepared a certain way he’s more than willing to learn how you like things and why you like them. (I need my sandwiches to be cut in half vertically every time. I will be very unhappy if cut diagonally and I will be very unhappy if it’s not cut at all)

/

You don’t like surprises? No problem, he never surprises you without permission, meaning he always gives you a choice. Some days are better than others after all, and not all surprises are equal. “Hey honey, I was thinking of surprising you with a treat on the way home from work. Do you wanna help me pick something out?” “Oh! Uh, yeah. Lemme get ___” or alternatively “oh! Uhm… no, I don’t really care.” Either way he always makes sure to ask.

• the lovely @deermurdock gave me this idea with her recent post on Matt feeding reader (check it out I love it):

If you have trouble remembering to eat Matt will 100% feed you throughout the day, or at least remind you to eat and drink.

“Here you go angel” *as he hands you a granola bar*

/

“Here, open up…” *places a piece of fruit into your mouth once your lips part.* “good job, thank you.”

/

“When was the last time you drank some water?” *when you’re in the middle of a project you’ve been working on for 2 hours*

• if you tend to yap he 100% is a listener. Whether it’s you rambling about your day or going into detail about your interests, he’ll listen, and if need be memorize details.

College Matt quote:

Foggy: “What are you looking for, my young padawan?”

Matt: “I don’t know. I guess just someone I really like to listen to.”

Like I get it was a joke but it also wasn’t a joke 🙄

/

*you rambling about the tv show you recently started, mentioning your favorite and most hated characters so far as well as the plot, what you think will happen, a funny detail you noticed, and how Matt reminds you of this one side character you adore. Meanwhile he listens the whole time, smiling softly and encouraging you to continue.* “Oh yeah, what’s it about?” “Oh wow.” “Really?” “You’re right, that’s ridiculous.” “You’re so smart sweetheart, that definitely seems plausible.” “From what you’ve told me so far he seems like a dick.” *and then the next time you sit down to watch said show he’ll spew commentary from the kitchen.* “Did ___ get the special artifact yet? …but I thought she wanted it? …ugh, that doesn’t make any sense! Why would she do that?!”

• I feel like he’d definitely bond with you over the whole disability aspect of it. I can see the both of you ranting to each other each time someone’s ableist and always reassuring each other that they’re not a burden for needing extra help sometimes.

“When I went to check out the new bakery by that bookstore you like I had asked the employee to read off some of the things they have and he said, quote, ‘look buddy, I don’t have all day. This is a bakery, there’s only so many things we could sell.’ Safe to say I was a little surprised and ended up leaving.”

/

“When I was at work I was trying to get something off the printer but I didn’t notice that I was in the way of my coworker, so when I tried to move out of the way she called me the r word under her breath cause I wasn’t moving quick enough.”

/

*When you come home on the verge of a meltdown and flinch away from any affection you feel guilty.* “Sorry, I just— my clothes are so tight and I’m hot and I can’t breathe and I was supposed to be home an hour ago but I had to stay after my shift to help my coworker!” “Sweetheart it’s okay, I’m not mad. What can I do to help you? Would you like some space? I can draw you a bath, or get you something to eat?”

• Will probably pick up certain stims, whether that be tactile, vocal, etc.

*You spinning and fidgeting with your ring one day, Matt notices and subconsciously mimics it a week later when you gift him a matching ring. Now he fidgets with it each time he wears it.*

/

*Sitting in his lap and feeling so much love you can’t help but chomp on his bicep. In turn when Matt feels a lot of love for you he’ll bite your neck or shoulders.*

/

True story, every time I see or even think of a cat I can’t help but start talking gibberish. It just scratches my brain so much. I did it in front of my friend and after her shock wore off she ended up picking the habit up and so now every time she sees a cat she does the same thing. Matt would do that.

• I like to think you introduced a lot of different fidget toys to him as well as things like sound reduction earbuds. I’m not sure if he’d actually like them or not, but If overwhelmed I can imagine it’d be helpful to him as well as you.

Nsfw

• Will talk to you about sex and not have it lead to actual sex. What I mean is that I tend to explain my thought process and stuff so I can see an autistic s/o talking to Matt about some of their kinks or sexual preferences just because they wanna yap to him and instead of always getting horny I feel like he’d actually just listen. He’d probably end up joining in on the conversation too.

• If you’re feeling under/overstimulated he’d probably use sex to try to help you. He’d probably be hesitant at first, not wanting to feel like he’s coercing you but if you assure him you’re okay with it then he’d be down to do whatever he can to help. After all, if you’re so fucked out you can barely process anything how can you still feel shitty? (Hypothetically speaking of course)

• Similarly I can’t help but think that you’d both incorporate your disabilities into kink. People always talk about his heightened senses during sex, which yes, but what about you? Maybe you wear your noise canceling headphones while he fucks you because your ears feel sensitive so you can drown out the sound of your guys’s moaning in order to not overwhelm yourself. Sorry not sorry but using his cane during sex or foreplay🧎‍♀️‍➡️

• For so long I’ve thought about stimming during sex. I’m a virgin (😔) so this is pure speculation but knowing myself I feel like if I loved the person I 100% would stim a lot during sex, especially soft and passionate sex. Cause you just love each other so much, how can you not squeal and flap your hands while he’s kissing your cheek lovingly (while spearing you with his cock 😵‍💫). I feel like he’d find it absolutely adorable, especially knowing that you’re not faking any of your love for him. You care for him so much you physically can’t handle it!

/

Similarly I’ve heard people tend to play music when they have sex to make it less awkward or as like background noise. Imagine one of your favorite songs coming on while he’s railing you:

*Face buried into the mattress you groan lowly as his hips continue to slam against your ass, repeatedly filling you to the brim with his cock. Suddenly the mind numbing pleasure is at the back of your mind when you hear the first few notes of one of your favorite songs. Your body tenses as you lift yourself up onto your elbows, gasping excitedly as you turn to look at Matt over your shoulder.* “Eeeek! Oh my gosh! It’s ___! It’s playing ___!” *Matt’s movements can’t help but still as he feels your walls fluttering excitedly around him, a strained chuckle escaping him.* “Holy shit sweetheart, you’re squeezing me so goddamn tight…” *Suddenly brought back to the present, his words cause that burning in your tummy to return.* “Sorry, I just love this song so much I can’t even–!“ *Squealing into the pillow your hands begin to white knuckle the sheets, your body trembling as you attempt to hold in a giggle. Shaking his head fondly Matt leans down and presses a kiss to the back of your head, the pace of his hips going from fast and rough to languid and deep, allowing you to fully enjoy the rest of the song as well as a mind blowing orgasm all while humming the lyrics to yourself.*

• Similarly I feel like he wouldn’t really get mad if you got distracted during sex. I personally probably have adhd too but when I do things and something comes to mind it’s like I immediately have to go down a rabbit hole.

”You’re so good, making such pretty noises for me…” *Immediately your eyes snap open, scanning Matt’s pleasure filled face as a thought strikes you.* “oh my gosh Matt i just remembered! You literally just reminded me– remember how earlier this week I said I was gonna show you ___?” *Pausing mid thrust he gives you a quizzical look.* “…yes?” *You’re quick to continue, not at all worried about ruining the steaminess of the moment.* “Well I just remembered now, oh my gosh you gotta see this! Or, well, hear this.” *Reaching onto your nightstand you grab your phone and unlock it, beginning to scroll through it in search of what you wanted to show him. An amused snicker is all you get in response, Matt leaning down and pressing loving kisses to your chest and shoulders while you do what you need to do. He’s more than patient if it means making you happy.*

^^ lol did I edit this after posting it? Yes ;3

[dr-spectre]

The scrunkly-ification of this man in the community needs to get studied via a microscope.

Friendly reminder to those who forgot, this man is probably responsible for hundreds if not thousands of deaths during the Great Turf War (although both sides were kinda fucking bad), he feds his army and society propaganda via music to motivate them to fight. He allows CHILD SOLDIERS INTO HIS ARMY!!!! He has stolen the Inklings power source several times without even trying to negotiate peace due to prejudice between the two groups.

He manipulated and then later hypnotised a mentally unwell Callie in order to get her to help him. Despite Callie willing to help, he still hypnotised her so that she doesn't randomly change her mind and keep her under his control more. Or at least that's what I speculate as to why Octavio developed the Hypnoshades for Callie in specific. She is very chaotic even under the shades, and when you factor in her being mentally ill during the events of Splatoon 2, yeah I can see why Octavio would develop the shades.

Although he didn't brainwash his army or Callie, I'll give him that. Like I've gone over Hypno Callie MANY MANY TIMES on this blog before and the whole idea of Octarians being brainwashed slaves is fucking stupid as hell and factually false. He at least allowed Callie to decorate his bases, influence the Octarians, and give them more motivation after their loss in Splatoon 1. He never restrained her, he never abused her or tortured her, hell he didn't fucking kidnap her despite what you have may been told, but I've said that trillions of times before.

He was never truly evil or malicious in his acts but Octavio still ain't no saint. He did redeem himself somewhat at the end of Splatoon 3, but he isn't some cute and cuddly 130 year old octopus guys. He's a war general and will do ANYTHING to save his people. He will kill teens and manipulate the mentally unwell to save his people from death. He's filled with nuance and I think we gotta respect that more. Not turn him into some cuddly cute octopus guy who's a good person.

Im not hating on those who do so and make fan comics and art where Octavio is more laid back and is a silly grandpa. It has its place in the community, Splatoon is a silly franchise!!! We should have fun of course! But I don't want y'all to forget what kind of man Octavio truly is and the acts he's done for over 100 years.

[earlofbats]

Okay so because this post about Harry being a bottom I'm going to give a genuine dissertation on the thematic relevance of sub Harry and maybe a little bit about dom Kim.

First I wanna establish the "Harry is definitely a subby little bottom boy" and is also definitely Bi and probably has some sorta fucking complex about it.

Evidence A. Contact Mike, Guillaume Le Million, Measurehead (when fascist).

Harry tends to idolize and gravitate towards extremely masculine figures.

This is probably due to a reflexive need to feel masculine and have masculine role models in the face of elements of identity that are seen as unmasculine by society and have become exacerbated by the breakup which had to be pretty emasculating for Harry.

Also :

Imma start a Harry's Kink counter here +1 light bondage.

+1 auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Uhm +1 uhh,Spanking? Additional +1 for being what I think is most possibly the horniest thought you have in the game also:

+1 Kim is a Dom.

I think Harry has kept his attraction to men or his desires about men fairly low key for his entire life. The way he conceptualizes Homosexuality in general as an "underground" society filled with whispering rooms and forbidden secrets is likely more of a reflection of how Harry views his own sexuality than how Queer culture is manifest in Revachol. (In reference to the way both Kim and The Smoker kinda laugh Harry about it)

The organizational element of the idea being likely reflective of the way internalization is akin to paranoia.

Harry is also extremely intimacy starved and I think part of that is due to an unmet need for affection and the desire to be taken care of. That masculinity and status as both a survivor and an oppressor was sorta thrust onto Harry, he was born the last year of the war on a hospital floor, given a name associated with war time and survival, grew up probably in a little street urchin gang, got into *Disco* (man I'm sure Harry brushed elbows with the underground then.) Was a gym teacher a good balance between masculinity and caretaker and guardian something that harry clearly excels at and enjoys. Then Dora encouraged him to be a cop for unknown reasons perhaps prestige, money, because Harry has a bleeding heart.

Engage Heterosexual Cop hell for 12 years then an additional 6 single Cop hell years.

And now you're like :

Another element is Harry's tendency to worship and diefy his partners which like man that's gotta be the subbiest fucking thing you can do. I honestly can't articulate all of the reasons why that's just extreme bottom behavior.

Harry is an empathic jelly creature who is forced to handle a job with dead people in it all day and has created this reflexive hyper masculine obsession to compensate for his perceived inadequacy in not living up to the patriarchal capitalist ideal of what's supposed to be his birthright as a well off, able bodied, 'straight', occidental, man.

Except the actual issue is that Harry is mostly perceived or perceiving himself as that, when in reality he's in clear conflict with his actual identity as a Poor, mentally Ill, bisexual, occidental, man.

And it's those last two that end up kind of making this smoke screen to Harrys deficiency in privilege. He can mask or hide behind being an Occidental Man.

Can buddy buddy with patriarchy and take up the idea of a Big Strong Manly Cop.

Something that Kim also seems to be doing by seeking out positions of authority he can compensate for the disrespect he gets as a Poor, blind, gay, seolite, man.

Last of which probably won't get him far because of how "juvenile" his body type is.

Kim can't really coast on patriarchy much the way Harry can. He has to work twice as hard cuz there's not a lot he can hide behind.

Pursuit for control in the face of denial

Vs

Shielding ones self behind control as a means of denial.

Dom/Sub dichotomy.

[silly-little-soul]

SDV Highschool AU

A/N - in celebration of my graduation today!!

Very rushed and not formatted properly cause I’m at prom rn and writing this on my phone I’ll fix it later but like i wanted to post sth for the occassion

-

Summary: sdv highschool au, the ones under the +++ are x reader

Characters: Harvey, Shane, Elliot, Haley (cause theyre my favs to write for)

Warnings: drug mention

~~~~~~~~~~~

HARVEY

- Big nerd

- He’s planning to study medicine so of course he puts accordingly much effort

- Awkward as fuck icl

- Everyone lowkey loves him cause he’s always really helpful

- Aka almost the entire class just copies his homework

- Lives off coffee in every life and scenario

- (One of the) best in class and beloved by the teachers but not annoying about it

- If y’all wanna act like there wasn’t any homework in front of the teacher cause no one did it (except him ofc bcs NERD) he’ll totally play along

- Which is probably why the whole reason it worked

- Some ppl def have a crush on him

- But he’s just so awkward and oblivious… I love him

- Also not rlly into the kind of dating that’s most common among teens? Does that make sense??

+++

- So for you, let’s say you’ve been his friend since forever, best friends perhaps

- He’s had a crush on you so long but has like no idea how to go about it

- And you think he’s not interested cause he has friendzoned you so hard multiple times before

- It was a panic reaction don’t blame him

- I can picture you coming together at sone school dance and it’s like really cliche

- I’ll make these longer later I’m sorry

-

SHANE

- stoner

- Like sorry but

- Maybe it’s my Connor Murphy obsession or maybe I’m right

- I’m basing this v much on mentally ill Shane ik that backstory only semi much works with a highschool setting but we dont rlly know abt pre mental illness shane so

- Generally not bad at school he just has intense down phases where he completely falls behind (relatable)

- Works at some fast food chain and hates it but yk money is money

- No one ever shows up for parent teacher talks bcs he doesnt want the school to know about his family and his family about school yk

- Quiet most of the time

- Mean when talked to

+++

- But also like he doesn’t rlly mean it with some people you just gotta po ker if he does for you and talk to him

- Good news: you’re very much an exception

- Phew

- I’m thinking forced project or something

- No actually I’m thinking one of you is the others dealer

- Probs starting as a kinda fwb thing that becomes serious

- There’s sm potential here icl

- I’m gonna rewrite all of this next week and get more into it

-

ELLIOT

- The weirdest kid in the grade but beloved by all

- Writes a lot, probably started a club that’s related to that somehow

- Wins a lot of those lil writing competitions schools do

- A romantic, hands out flowers or something to people on Valentine’s

- Like super mysterious and no one can tell if he does it on purpose or if it just kinda is like that

- Def has some ppl crushing on him

- Has been ppls secret admirer before

- Except it’s not rlly secret bcs who else would do allat

+++

- So when he falls for you it’s like that too

- You get mysterious letters and flowers from an admirer

- Except it’s not mysterious bcs Elliot everyone knows no one else does that!!!

- You pretend not to realize a while tho cause it’s sweet

- And then after a but you just give him a secret admirer letter back

- Even if it’s not quite as poetic as his

- He appreciates it sm cause it’s so rare people match his energy

- You’re couple goals but also lowkey make ppl sick with all your sap

-

HALEY

- Pretty popular

- She’s very confident and can be a bit brash so you might get the idea she’s a typical mean girl but she’s actually pretty sweet

- Especially with the girls

- You might get a comment about your messy makeup but best believe she’s fixing it up for you

- Girl in trouble? She’s right there without hesitation

- Has told so many of the guys off before for harassing girls or not taking a hint

- She’s a guardian angle ngl

- A whole bunch of people having a crush on her and it’s getting kinda rough

- If the person is respectful she’s really nice in rejecting them (or at least tries), she was mean about it like once and felt so bad after

- She knows she comes off as pretty harsh and it’s not always intentional yk

+++

- You probably meet through extra activities i forgot the name

- She gets a crush p quickly but like y’all wait till you rlly know you work as a duo before you dare ask her out

- Like you wanna have sth behind your question and what you say yk

- Okay i gotta stop writing but !!!!!! will fix this up and write more next week

- Also send requests or fandom talk please and thank you

[blessedshortcake]

My opinion on the finale episodes below the cut. Obviously spoiler warning lol

First of all. I see people say it was really underwhelming and i kinda have to agree? It wasnt a Bad ending or a lazy one or whatever words have been thrown around tho imo. I feel like with all the hype about how "painful" and emotional itll be from the VA and from everyone, we all just expected more tragic outcomes or something.

I am dissappointed because of that as well. I liked how Simon finally reflected a bit and had some self awareness about their situation with Betty. I loved that he didnt become Ice King again or that they didnt do some actual time travel to "fix" stuff. I also liked that they didnt necessarily made him a bad husband (?/boyfriend?) he kinda just never realised that Betty has been putting more into their duo than he was.

That doesnt make him innocent tho b4 someone comes at me. He was a bit too self absorbed but i dont think he was entirely selfish either. He was a person who made mistakes and didnt realise them. The line where he said smt like "i wish we could have talked like this before" also makes it pretty clear to me that Betty never really spoke up about these things either. Golbetty had to make him aware and tbh? I think that was more Golb than Betty.

The whole Scarab ordeal felt a bit. Ehhhhhh I dont know. His anger reaction to things suddenly becoming "canon" (lmao) was very nice to see but him being allowed to wreck havoc like that for a good while felt more like an excuse to bring the others into this world. I dont have a problem with it btw i just dont see the point why we need Farmwold Jay and Little... I forgot her name damn. Also whys Babyworld Finn here 😭 (i get it, he was in the tank, i dont mean literally i mean Why)

As much as i was soooo mad when LSP freed the scarabs it was very in character. I like how it was a thing that he likes animals from the start so it wasnt senseless stupidity, it was something he would do even tho it was the wrong thing to do. Made me pause and lay down to stare at the ceiling in frustration for a solid minute i cant lie, still in chacter tho.

But alas. I like how in the end it all didnt turn magical (completely since ig its partially magical with Cake and everything else) and how Cake finally cooled down about the crown. IM ALSO SO HAPPY THEY KEEP IN TOUCH WITH SIMON OVER THE PHONEEE!! But yea him wanting to move was so real and I hope he does lmao he deserves it.

I only kinda wish they made him reconnect with Marcy a bit more. I am actually pretty dissappointed that we dont know if he ended up reaching out to her more or not. I understand his situation with not wanting to spook her, i actually feel that bit in a soul connecting level good god, but idk. Im at least happy he is Literally in therapy now

(Kinda makes me wonder tho if he spent the time between the end of AT and the start of FC with no like therapist or psychologist. Just rawdogging his mental illness about everything. Mood tbh but like did he? Did he??)

Anyway despite my slight dissappointment i am actually pretty happy with the outcome. I really liked the theories and the ideas of how Simon may make FC magical or what he will become but tbh this is probably the best outcome. Everyone got a happy/hopeful ending (minus Farmwold Finn ig who im atp assuming is dead. Also Star Marceline and PB) which i am really REALLY happy about.

I gotta say I already wanna write fanfic about these guys so inspirational effect granted. Woooo.

Tldr

I was kinda dissappointed because it was overhyped about how emotional it will be when it really wasnt but other than that I am really happy about how the ending turned out save for the alternatives staying in FC

Edit: I SEE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THE WHOLE SHOW DONT TELL THING AND TBHHH??? TTTTBBBHHHH??? YEAH. IT WAS ALL JUST TALKED ABOUT LIKE WHAT ABOUT SYMBOLISM? MY GOD.

Also Simon had like 10 minutes to get closure with Betty which was horrifically rushed but again, when your wife turns into Basically God you kinda dont really have a choice to chit chat. Still not happy about it but again, could have been worse. Could have been much worse.

[cephydeluxe]

Ohhh I got some asks for the v/mc/rika polycule!! 🤓

1. Do you have any songs/music you like to associate with them? A playlist maybe? 👀 Or just a couple of songs or something, I'm a music nerd, hehe

2. How would you describe their affection towards one another? Are they rough with each other? Gentle? Or do they differ in how they give their affection to each other? I guess case and point is: who's the one coming out covered in bite marks, pfft

3. Are there any feelings of jealousy involved between them? It'll probably be easy to imagine v getting the short end of the stick, but, uh.... he's kind of canonically a freak. So it's highly debatable if he would even get hurt or upset by anything, really. Man's a weird one, and we love him for it. But what about Rika or MC? Do either of them have to deal with feelings of envy or insecurity? Rika's a highly anxious and insecure individual, while MC will have to deal with V's and Rika's mutual obsession with one another. It's an interesting dynamic! I wanna read up on how you see it for them, for better and for worse <3

OMGOMGOMG ‼️‼️‼️ tytyty for asking, I love their dynamic sm,,,, this will be very, extremely, audaciously long lol (u have opened the autism pandora box) it’s all under the read more

TW: unhealthy relationship dynamics, mentions of trauma and mental illness, physical, emotional, and mental abuse (the unholy triforce 😭), also sexual themes too (you know a ships good when you gotta bring out the long ass list of triggers JHASGJDS)

1. MUSIC

I have like a hundred playlists for these freaks and they’re all have a thousand songs in them that VAGUELY remind me of them, so, I’ll give you my top 5 :)

1.

This song is THE QUINTESSENTIAL Rika song, 100%, no doubt. Rika’s jealousy and envy of V’s “light” compared to her “darkness” is at the heart of what killed their relationship and plays a huge role in the creation of the mint eye. V certainly isn’t nowhere near as vain as Julius Caesar, but Rika couldn’t fit the role of Brutus here any better than she already does🥺🥺🥺.

“That the people would see me too as a poet, and not just the muse” is such a good line for rika’s thoughts and feelings on their relationship augh, she sees v’s ability to love her, to “save” her, and constantly compares it to her hatred of everyone in her past who mistreated and abused her, and wonders “why can’t I have the ability to love others? why am I in agony even now in this relationship? why can’t I be the savior and not just v’s muse?”

Totally encapsulates Rika’s slow mental decline as V keeps enabling her, it stoked her “devil” and it starts to create a vicious cycle of “heap on the love, get jealous of v’s light, become resentful and aggressive as an unhealthy coping mechanism, “test v’s love” (hurt him), remorse, hate herself, resolve to be “cured” by the light, repeat”. She has no idea what romantic love actually looks like, so she gets it confused with obsessive hatred.

^^^this is totally the scene where she stabs him LMAOSDHSJJHD

“I don’t want what you have, I want to be you” it’s such a good line, it’s Rika 100%,,,,, augh 🥺🥺🥺

2.

This song makes me froth at the mouth soooo bad thinking about V/MC affair hijinks (I’m delusional), but I think the general vibe fits with Rika feeling scorned and cheated at the end of V route. Like instead of fabricating a woman up, she lured MC to mint eye which set up the events that led V and MC to fall in love (kinda), smh she set herself up 😒

3.

Casual/Deep story V vibes at their finest,,,,, imagining V wandering alone through his old, and frighteningly chilly, house, the one he built with Rika to be the foundation for their new happy life,,,, trying to remember her face after finally losing his vision completely and having spent so long apart from her,,, while questioning the nature of their relationship for it to end like this,,,, calling out her name in hope she’ll come back and the past 2 years will have been a dream,,,,, hell yeagh (hooked up 2 life support)

4.

All of kikuo’s songs remind me of mint eye, but hole dwelling is Rika/MC vibes 100%.(could also be ray tbh BUT THIS AINT ABOUT HIM ‼️) Rika tries to convince MC to stay with her by appealing to the hurt, scared, and confused childlike side of her similar to the way the song does. “The outside world just wants to hurt people like us anyway, but don’t worry, I’m always here for you, I understand you. There’s no need to change, it’s uncomfortable and scary, just stay in this place I built for you and me.” MC fuckin HATES this shit, but being in a place like mint eye wears down on you, so mc will occasionally (and very begrudgingly) lean on Rika for support. It’s very sweet (delusional).

5.

Ok this oldie sticks out jahshj (I’m a fnv freakazoid) but it’s totally MC singing about V 🥹💕. I wouldn’t say it was “love at first sight”,,,,, but it was totally “attraction at first sight” lmao (big difference). Their attraction was really quick to spark, they had a lot of things in common and similar views (not so much in other things LOL) like their love for art in all forms, their introverted nature, their mutual appreciation for all things romantic (aka, their both in love with falling in love), and their similar martyr complex lolololol. MC singing this while spending a sleepless night tending to a sickly drugged V, while lamenting her newfound budding feelings for him,,,(cephy stop obsessing over romance as a tragedy challenge: impossible)

Some honorable mentions

(^^^ V would never describe his relationship with Rika so cruelly, EVER,,,,, but the vibe of love performed as art for others instead of something to build with someone you care about,,, it’s immaculate)

11. AFFECTION

Their dynamic can be confusing, but don’t worry, you can’t possibly be more confused than they are, and they’re IN IT lol. Generally their dynamic is, the “ring leader” (Rika) and her two adoring affectionate “lovers” (V and MC) (more like playthings tbh). They have a whole web of dynamics though, ray made a chart to keep track of it all so when inevitably Rika has a meltdown over a perceived slight and needs him to vent to, he can keep track of what’s what (kinda)(poor guy).

Rika/MC affection: USUALLY MC does NOT want anything to do with Rika,,, but V can be super suffocating,,,, and Rika is extremely persistent with getting MC’s attention, and the line between hate and love can be extremely thin (especially in their case). MC tends to relent when rika’s upset though, she doesn’t like seeing her cry (she tries to convince herself lol) and will comfort Rika when she does. MC generally follows Rika’s led in moments like this (overstepping her bounds, even accidentally, is a recipe for disaster). Rika knows this, and will take full advantage, cue 7 hour cuddling session that takes up MC’s whole day, even if she had something planned with V 🤭🤭🤭 Rika is also wayyyy more happily (and sexually) affectionate with MC than with V lol (cause she’s closeted lesbian- wHO SAID THAT) Mutual biting, but the one biting is usually Rika.

V/MC affection: my sweet lovers,,,,, they are much too sweet to each other considering the circumstances,,, V (despite his relationship with Rika) has never felt so genuinely attracted to another person before, it’s always been a conscious choice he’s made for the sake of his art, his love, his obsession, his guilt, his light. So when his feelings for MC spring up outta nowhere, he has a kinda catholic reaction to them ahdghshgd. “Good heavens, what is this feeling??? For a woman I met a week ago, no less….. What a sad excuse for a man I am, how could I love anyone else besides Rika….i should stop…(proceeds to call MC for the 50th time that day just to hear her voice)” and MC,,,, MC has never had a more embarrassing crush on a guy, ever HEHEHE she doesn’t know how to cope with his flustering when she reaches for his hand, his old timey romantic gestures (getting her flowers and walking with her on the side farthest from the road)(throwing his coat on a puddle for her to walk on HSHSDJ). He can be a lil too much at times, (which sometimes frustrates her, she feels smothered at times, and it’s her first relationship (good lord) and she’s not a well adjusted person either) but they both have this really cute, almost innocent, puppy love thing going on, it’s cute 🥰, it’s also the only kind of real affection v gets lol (poor guy). MC has a bad case of “cute-aggression” that gets exasperated by V’s smothering, so it’s usually her giving out the bites hjajhd V takes anything she gives him, he’s so touch starved. Rika usually butts in on their time together, but more on that later.

V/Rika affection(or lack thereof) : these two,,,, the apocalyptic disaster couple themselves,,,,, well for starters Rika keeps him at a looooong distance, in most cases. The reason (at least she believes) they broke up in the first place is because rika’s devil was being burned by V’s love, BUT she admits herself that she “needs” v’s light to fuel her darkness. V also feels an obligation to shine his light on her, the initial obsession and intrigue long dead by now, but he still genuinely cares about Rika’s wellbeing, very much so. They “love” and “need” each other like a sick person needs their meds, but the sick person doesn’t feel affectionate towards their medication, right? No real heart-warming connection towards their pill bottle, it’s just something they need to live. In fact, wouldn’t they feel resentful of their medicine?? Having to constantly depend on it for survival, all the while dealing with side effects when they would rather do anything else?? Yeah that’s their relationship lol,,,,,(somebody get a therapist on speed dial) There’s Biting here too, but it’s all Rika, and not at all playful as her bites with MC, and her bites are nowhere near as passionate like the ones MC gives him.

111. JEALOUSY AND INSECURITY

Oooh lord 😭😭😭 Rika’s practically made of it, V unfortunately enables it, and MC cannot stomach it (except when she gets jealous too). Most of their fights (that practically rival ancient Chinese civil wars in casualties) stem from someone (usually Rika, never V) feeling jealous or insecure. It’s a miracle this poly trio even happened. It’s a complete scientific mystery as to how the poly trio is still going.

Rika’s jealousy and insecurity: I could write a detailed analysis on rika’s insecurity that would rival the Lord of the Rings in length and it still wouldn’t convey just how bad she’s got it, so I’ll try and give the cliff notes instead. She feels she “needs” to be loved in order to be validated as a living being, worthy of living happily. So when she feels “left out” (not the center of attention for 2 seconds) she spirals, thinking she’s being left alone just like so many times before in childhood, just like a defective doll her adopted parents didn’t want, and that maybe they were right, she couldn’t possibly deserve love. Panicking, she usually interrupts whatever V and MC have going on, and insists on reassurance of their love for her, and if she feels she’s being slighted, she’ll fly into a rage, handing out punishments and tests of love, but you can tell she’s biased cause MC’s “punishment” is being confined to Rika’s comfy bedroom for a week and V’s punishment is being locked in the dungeon for 3 weeks 😭😭😭😒😒😒 Usually best case scenario is

V/MC enjoying a moment together alone cuddling

Rika immediately being alerted via her sixth sense

Rika barging in like “make room bitches”

Rika settling smack dab between them lol

MC’s jealous and insecurity: She HATES Rika’s jealous fits so fuckin much lmaoooo 🤭. She convinces herself she would never get jealous ever…… which is an outright LIE it just manifests differently and less often. She hates V’s tendency to distance himself from her to appease Rika, it makes her insecurity flare badly, cue her starting a spat with Rika, and hoping V will take her side. It’s stupid, petty, and downright goofy behavior honestly, but it’s her first relationship (good lord) and she’s got the worst fucking partners ever 🫠🫠🫠 how else is a sheltered neurodivergent girl in her early 20s to cope.

V’s (non existent) jealousy and insecurity: As you have correctly guessed,,,,,, V is definitely not a jealous man HJDDSJSJSF 😂😂😂😂 He is weirdly secure in the relationship, due to Rika’s dependence on his “light” and though his relationship with MC is very new, he feels the tight bond (trauma bond lol) they have and doesn’t worry about whether or not she’ll leave him, also due in part to the fact he doesn’t worry about them not returning his affections, he’s more worried about whether or not he deserves to love or be loved in the first place. If he found out one of them saw someone else outside the trio, he wouldn’t be upset besides somehow twisting the event into somehow being his fault like “if my light was strong enough they wouldn’t have had to go somewhere else for it, was I neglecting them??? 😢😢😢”(poor guy) This trait of his tends to set the other two off, as they mistake his laidback “I’m cool with everything” security as aloofness, and spiral into their insecurity 😑😑😑 it also has the hilarious (debatable) effect of usually ending spats between Rika and MC.

*Rika and MC arguing over something* “V!! What do you think?? Whose side are you on!?”

V:*deep breath* I think you’re both right. 😇😇😇

“Are you fucking kidding me-“ “SEE I TOLD YOU, isn’t he infuriating????” “V just pick a side!!!” “THATS WHAT IM SAYING!!” “Ugh you’re so right-“

(queue lesbianism, hilarity ensues)

They’re a complete disaster together, but you’d have to have the strength of fucking Zeus to separate them, it’s ludicrous.

[joopacabra]

eeehhh more ramblings I gotta ramble it out tonight..

tonight I am thinking about the beloved Heart princess,, I will never not tear up when it comes time to speak with her,, I love her!

my days have continued to be a bit more rocky,, it’s not really all that bad mentally sometimes, it’s more physically now ,, whatever illness has taken hold of me is kinda worsening, I’ve felt like Shit all day and the past few days,, I couldn’t even eat anything today ,,

I’ve been a bit emotional today for some reason , not entirely a bad thing, started with being so excited and tearing up over really cute princess art among hiccup crying explaining to my sibling why ultrakill’s ost is a masterpiece. happened a few times. that one’s not too out of the ordinary..

I’ve been a bit upset that I can’t really draw lately too,, naturally it’s been difficult over how shitty I feel and im upset at my lack of progress and I want to be able to make things to share… it’s alright though, I know that’s a bad mindset , just a bit upsetting,,

I had a very nice time playing sky: children of the light for the first time,, maybe I am making friends, I haven’t made a friend in a really long time,, it was very nice

all in all,, I think I’d be better instantly if I could squeeze a princess plushie and drift into blissful rest.. reality is often cruel :(

that’ll probably do it for now,, hopefully I won’t wake up even worse and unbearably nauseous again! if anyone happens to read my ramblings,, or venting , I hope you have a good day or night, and thank you <3

[razzdrgn]

ok it's time for razz recipes get ready for some cooking momence

i have an eviction trial in 2 weeks so im gonna teach you how to make extremely cheap recipes with as few ingredients as possible because i have no money to spend and enough mental disorders to make me love cooking but hate the amount of work that goes into it

todays recipe is: flatbread, probably of the mediterranean variety but i dont know actual recipes i legit just made this shit up after watching the bdg zelda recipes video

all you need is:

flour

water

a pan

and thats it. Its that easy

theres more you can use to make it better tho and ill bring those up as they come up but ill do the whole cooking instructions thing under this readmore

okay so. flatbread

i think its also called like. unleavened? but i dont really know what that means and im still confused after looking it up so im just callin it flatbread because it is bread that is flat

step one is to pour some flour in a bowl. i recommend about 1 cup, but i never really measure and do it by eye/feel so you can add more or less if you want.

first optional thing to talk about briefly before the recipe really starts is salt. i highly highly highly recommend adding salt to this, because it allows the bread to actually have. yknow. flavor. and not suck. but ive made this without salt and its also good so like, do whatever u want

you can also add other spices if you want flavoring like that. ive had success with garlic powder and red pepper flakes, but honestly cookijg is most tun when ur just wingin it so throw whatever spices you like in and see how it turns out

so once all ur dry stuff is in the bowl, you should gently mix/whisk it together. i usually use a fork or knife for this since flour sticks to shit a lot and the smaller surface it has the less its gonna stick. plus with a fork it helps get things in evenly really quickly.

once everythings in and mixed is when you add your water. id say like, roughly 1/3 to 3/8ths of a cup is fine, or adjusted for how much flour you have, you really do not need much, just enough that everything comes together. if you add enough that its a bit of a shaggy but congealed mass, you can turn it out onto a work surface and knead it/fold it a little to make it thicker. i didnt like it when i did this because of texture things so i like to add just enough extra for it to be a bit of a goop.

once you got your "dough" make sure your pan is on the stove heated to uh. 3? or 4? i hate that stoves dont have proper temp markings but thats about as hot as i make mine on whatever arbitrary scale it uses.

at this point you can add in the next optional thing, which is some sort of fat. this can be an oil of your preferred variety (i am canola gang because i like to fry things while also being allergy friendly), or you can just melt some butter which is what i usually do. hell you could use like, lard or crisco if you've watched too many b dylan hollis videos. a fat is a fat. its gonna help cook the bread more evenly, will make its "crust" crispier, and make it taste better.

all you gotta do now us dump your dough onto the pan and let it cook. roughly five minutes per side but you can flip it a few times if you need, just keep an eye on it. you wanna check the edges to make sure the insides are getting properly cooked all the way through, and make sure to press down on it to make sure its making full contact with the heated surface when possible as especially thinner breads can tend to curl up a bit

while its cooking in the pan you can optionally add some shredded cheese onto the bread. i recommend doing this right before adding your dough, and right after, to make sure the cheese gets properly incorporated into each side, but you totally can also just drizzle it on at any stage and let it melt by flipping the bread onto the cheesed side. i use an italian 4 cheese mixture from my cheap local supermarket chain and thats good for the kinda savory flavor i like, but experiment! use one cheese you like, or maybe a different blend (i also really like mexican cheese blends that u use for tacos or burritos).

once the stuffs nicely cooked and browned, its good to eat. i mean its technically been ok to eat this whole time none of the ingredients are necessarily bad to eat raw but obviously you dont wanna shove fistfuls of flour into your maw.

i recommend pairing this with an iced tea of your favorite flavor persuasion as tea is a nice smooth drink you can also make super easily, some refried black beans which you can get in a can super cheap and turn into a nice dip, and some yellow mustard, which honestly goes with this way more than i thought it would by adding a bit of a sour kick which i like. obviously try pairing it with whatever you have in your kitchen, i dont know what you have. maybe you got some eggs that are about to expire and want to make some kinda breakfast bread. maybe you wanna feel that kinda childlike wonder by combining foods so you mix it with some box mac and cheese and ketchup. maybe you splatter some tomato sauce and add some kind of cheese product to make it into a shitty pizza. i have done all of these things and they are certainly all things you can do if you also want to do them

thank you for reading my extremely long recipe post join me next time where i do uhhh. something else maybe. maybe ill do that iced tea method i talked about i feel like for some folks hot tea can be a bit unapproachable and ice tea can feel like its impossible to make but i promise you its way easier than you think

ok bye!! love you

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

Thank you sm @itwoodbeprefect for the tag!!!

I hardly published anything this year so if u wanna skip to 'projects for 2024' that's gonna be the most interesting bit >.<

Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 714 💀 but many more words were written, just not posted lol fics posted: 1 first fic/last fic 😅: King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963)

Ships and Fandoms ⚓

Doctor Who - no ships really but KotE is Mike Yates-centric.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

It's KotE again lol which is at 6 kudos. Of all time, tho:

After the Hour(glass) - Night at the Museum (Jedtavius)

Less Than Ideal Circumstances - The Man from UNCLE (TV) (Napollya)

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV)

Dismiss Your Fears - Back to the Future

After All, I'm Only Sleeping - Doctor Who (1963)

Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

KotE......... I do actually rly enjoy KotE I think it has potential in terms of where it's going. But since I only posted one fic in 2023, I'll do my top 5 of fics I've ever posted. Apart from the first one this is in no particular order

tickertape - The A-Team (TV) it's my baby it's all I thought about for months of my life, it's like an iceberg (i.e. most of it is in my WIP doc, and only a tiny fraction is published so far), it got me thru a difficult time, it's an exploration of mental illness and complicated messy relationships expressed in epic format (i.e. it's probably gonna be novel length when it's done)

Bullet Number Six - Starsky & Hutch (TV) it received criticism for being obscure and hard to follow bc it switches pov briefly halfway thru but idc i love it anyway

I Gotta Right to Sing the Blues - The A-Team (TV) it was my first A-Team fic and I still think for a beginner it nailed some p realistic in-character dialogue and addressed an undertone I wished I'd seen addressed in the ep it's a coda to.

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV) it's kind of riddled with certain mannerisms of my slightly older writing which I personally find a bit annoying and have worked to iron out for the sake of elegance over the years. but I still think it's a cool little exploration of all my sleep headcanons for the pair of them in one place

King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963) see it made it to the list after all! I kinda like it more for its potential than for what it is right now butttttt who cares.

special mention to Unbereft (Starsky & Hutch) which I really really like but I wrote it in one frenzied sitting and only remembered after I'd posted it that it was very like someone else's fic I'd read several years previously. I don't think it's too much like to be taken down and I've since mentioned the writer of the other fic (it was dawnwind, hello!) in the notes. that's the only reason unbereft isn't in my top 5 because I'm otherwise really proud of how well it's written. Not to tootle on my own trumpet.

Fandom fic events

none RIP but maybe this year!!

Projects for 2024

Okay here we goooooooooooo

priority 1 is to finish the unfinished works that I've already half posted: King of the Eyesores, Every Line A Comedy, OUTATIME, The Windhover, tickertape, The Hanoi Bank Job and Other Misadventures, 38 Hours. Bolded are my top priorities.

other works that I'm writing but which haven't seen the light of day at all yet:

Dear Mike - an epistolary between Jo Grant and Mike Yates following her marriage to Cliff Jones.

The Lark/Behind That Locked Door (working titles) - a 30-chapter 2/Jamie fic about season 6B in which Jamie suffers permanent memory problems after the War Games. It explores grief, social ostracism, feeling abandoned, undirected anger, guilt, and acceptance that healing sometimes is a process that is never complete. I've been working on it since about 2016 lol but I'm lazy I just need to press on.

hell valley au - as yet untitled lol. In which the Hell Valley!Marty (who is never seen in BTTF2 as he is in Switzerland) and Hell Valley!Doc (who has been institutionalized) break out of their respective situations and go on the run together. But there's a problem - they had to leave Einstein behind, and when they get information that Einie is to be used for a dogfight, they make the risky decision to go back to Hill Valley to rescue him. However, going back to the place they just escaped by the skin of their teeth also brings them face to face with the last person they expect to meet.

a changed man (working title) - a Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) fic from Jeannie's pov. mostly it's about their picnic excursions but it's also about Jeannie wishing Marty wasn't such an elephant in the room

mfu/rahd xover (untitled) - the first chapter of this is almost ready to go tbh. it's what it says on the tin lol, Napoleon and Illya go to London and get help from a rather eccentric private detective who has uncanny powers of solving impossible cases but also they think is probably clinically insane

to see him happy - VERY weird rahd fic. it's smut but its also about grief. might never post it because several of my family members have access to my tumblr and therefore my ao3 lol they dont need to see that

the winter of '62 - a study of jeff and marty's life when they lived together in a grotty bedsit and couldnt afford to put the heating on

star wars (untitled) - set during ROTJ, han pov. han's lost a lot of time and now everyone is one step ahead of him which isn't a sensation he's used to

skyrissian - what it says on the tin lol

the older gen (untitled) - jeeves fic about bertie's aunts and uncles and parents as they were as they variously grew up, got married, had children, died (or didn't), fell prey to alcoholism or insanity or petty crime, went to war, prospered (or didn't)... This is pretty unlikely to be finished this year tbh as it's very detailed but I can dream

a couple of long form fics about starsky & hutch and mfu respectively (the s&h one is set post sweet revenge, the mfu one takes place at various moments throughout the show)

x-files series - canon compliant until paperclip and then gradually diverges into how i think the show should have gone lol. another biggie

and a handful of tintin fics that im protective of and might never post but we'll see - one where tintin and chang go on holiday in london after picaros, one where the gang encounters rajaijah one last time (featuring a letter from didi, chang making a very daring crossing at the songolese border, and tintin taking about ten years to chop up a clove of garlic), and one where tintin gets shitfaced at an embassy ball and accidentally starts an Incident. haddock looks on, appalled.

i knoooooooooooooooowww this is a lot but i'm not realistically hoping to finish it all this year but it's nice to have lots of things to play around with lol.

unfortunately i have the eternal problem of not ever knowing which of my mutuals write fic and which of those havent already been tagged but imma tag @theteaisaddictive and genuinely if u see this and u write fic ur tagged i want to knowwwwwwwwwwwww <333

[unreadpoppy]

For le fruit ask:

🍎: Is there anything you straight-up won’t write?

🍈: Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

Ayy, thanks for the ask, Sky!!

🍎- I'd say there's a few. Incest and anything involving minors and adults in a non-platonic way are the first that come to mind. I just don't feel very comfortable with either of those and would no write them. Also probably gore and body horror, just because I don't think I would really be able to write it well plus body horror makes me squeemish. And there's also a couple of kinks that I also wouldn't write due to personal reasons.

🍈- Oh god ok hum....

Ok what I'm gonna talk about are not necessarily headcanons (i think) but just stuff that like, when I write these characters, I've noticed I repeat it a lot

So, while I don't consider Haarlep a blorbo per se, everytime they come up in a fic I write, it's either to 1) cause mayhem, 2) act like the voice of reason for Raphael or the other character 3) be convinenet for when I need story stuff to move forward. Like, I like that Haarlep is such a little gremlin that you can kinda do anything with them and it sorta justifies itself.

Raphael the one thing I can think of is that I HC that he has a neck thing, so sometimes when I'm writing smut or more sensual/sexual scenes with him, i just gotta have him either grab, touch, bite, kiss a neck.

Minthara's possessiveness comes up a lot, because i am mentally ill I think it makes for an interesting dynamic (especially with Galatea) that she like, has lot a lot of people she cared about and always has that feeling of a knife behind her back so of course she's gonna be possessive about the people she actually loves, and i just aaaaa i love writing that.

I don't think I succeed in this but I do try is that I think Halsin's snarkier than people think, so I like to try and show a bit more of his less serious side (i mean, he grew up around a fey spirit, he's gonna be up to some shit sometimes).

[apuff]

@sagaofa-dying-star thanks for the tag!!! rewriting the post because it's long asf

 Do you have freckles?  everyone has a little freckles. but i dont have too many

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?  i only drink southern style sweet tea bc we never have any good hot tea around

What was the last song you listened to?  MAMA APPARENTLY?? i was on that black parade grind i guess

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?  stomach usually but sometimes i go for the recovery position

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?  yes

Do you prefer drawing or writing?  probably drawing but i like writing too

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?  i have 6 blankets in my bed and it's not enough

What’s your favorite band/artist?  ahem. aheem. hehe. my chemical romance

When is your birthday?  am i not supposed to say this for internet safety-? anyways its in december

How tall are you?  5'2 is on my id but my family says im taller than that

What color are your eyes?  green 😏😏i have the rarest eye color 😏😏😏

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?  two of my online friends one of my irl friends one of my mutuals and one person i don't even like but probably really needs it

Fears?  im afraid of people i love dying, being in trouble, being late, and tape measures.

What’s your favorite color?  green BUT I LIKE ALL OF THEM

What’s your favorite season?  I LIKE ALL OF THEM

Want any tattoos? What of?  i kinda want some of those semi permanent ones that last for a few months of just random shit like band members and memes actually maybe i just want to draw on myself in sharpie

Want any piercings? Where?  i just want normal ear piercings :<

Who is the last person you texted?  my ex- camp roommate

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?  yes me and my bestie have been friends for like two and a half years

What/who do you miss?  i miss having good breakfast at camp 😭😭 also i hate to say it but getting exercise. also going outside..

How was your day today?  pretty good

How much sleep did you get last night?  like eight or something

Do you believe in aliens?  y'all. the universe is REALLY big. there's gotta be some alien bacteria hanging out on SOME planet SOMEWHERE

When was the last time you cried? Why?  yesterday because of algebra 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️muhammad ibn musa al-khwarizmi when i FUCKING CATCH YOU ITS OVER

What’s your favorite decade?  2020s- if i had to pick something else it would be 2000s

What are some seemingly childish things you like?  laughing at my reflection in spoons (i highly recommend doing this btw)

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?  i like too many books to count and i have read hp and pjo too many times to count, but recently ive wanted to reread the outsiders so much i go to bed thinking about it and wake up thinking about it

How are you, really?  fine but every other time in my life i have thought i was fine i have been very mentally ill in retrospect so 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?  depends on the type of decision..

What are you looking forward to in the near future?  artfight being over

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?  moving out :v

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?  i am going to the house of my online friends

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?  who sleeps with the door open

What’s your favorite flower?  cherry blossom or lily of the valley

Do you currently have a squish?  i don't know what the difference is between this and just loving your friend, so, idk?

Do you like your middle name?  yeah, i actually use it as my internet and gaming name

Do you prefer dogs or cats?  cats, i respect dogs but they have no concept of personal space

Do you have any phobias?  y'all i really don't like tape measures

Do you stay up late? i consider 11 30 to be late but some of my friends stay up all night sooo its subjective i guess

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?  yes; sunny beach is better because where i live the water is always freezing so you need it to be hot or else it's just miserable

What’s your favorite cartoon?  maybe she-ra

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs i'm already tagging my moots later.,/,/

Do you have siblings? How many?  i have 6 siblings

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?  MYSELF- i am lonely right now

Is there anyone you would die for?  why is this such an intense question 😭😭😭probably no i'm a bit of a coward

What do you need when you’re sad?  gerard way but i need him all the time so

Have you memorized your phone number?  no and it haunts me every day

Who’s someone you can trust with your life?  myself (no offense)

What does your last text say?  just had the most transcendent sandwich on the way home

i know this one is really long so no pressure to do all of it OR do it at all LMAO @the-mighty-q @karineverse @the-mighty-mittens @sea-creeture @thankyouforthev3n0m @hopelesshardrockfan @wannabescemo @starbird06

[theubb]

Part 3! probably the lowest effort one yet. Now please let me go on a side tangent here, i just gotta get some thoughts off my chest and a reason for the so-so quality. I will talk abou this part and the AU ofc, i just gotta talk about me for abit, even if i talk to the void i want to get it out there.

I do consider parts 1 & 2 kinda low effort on my part and it most certianly frustrated me then BUT i have grown to accept it. I am burnt out! To give context: all my previous Sonic anything before the event began was for a School project!

We were quite free to do basicly what we wanted and i manged to make mine about Sonic under the guise of learning 3D. I started last September and have been just going at it almost nonstop since. Yes i had a few breaks ofc but nevertheless i was very burnt out by the time That project was done.

So for me personally, The Ubb, personally this event was (for me personally) abit ill-timed personally for me, The Ubb. The idea of Nine traveling the Multiverse was something i had wanted to get around to eventually so when this Event was announced i obviously wanted to participate, it felt like the stars had aligned! sort of.

Thing is becouse of the nonstop work i was already supremely burnt out before the event even started so not great for me personally. I planned that i would just do a Me thing between the 2 Projects, something not related to either. A short little break yea? that was What updating my Sally Acorn design was going to be but we know how that went.

The Result is wonderful, yes, it is one my proudest designs, came out great. BUT she was one of the thoughest challenges ive had so far. More context: it usually takes me like 2-3 days to make a Character design but Sal here took me 2 weeks. 2 weeks.

The result is wonderful but it was not the break i had envisioned. And the timelimit for the event was ticking down, i had lost about half of it by now. Like i said Nine traversing the Multiverse is something ive wanted to do for awhile and with DonelyWell making it uncertain wether or not the Event might return or not it truly felt like a now or never kinda situation, so despite my burnt-out-nes and lack of a proper break i pushed on.

And that is why the quality has been kinda so-so so far, due to burn out my heart hasnt been truly in it.

I will try to push out part 4 this coming week and you should expect it to be of this same quality you have seen thus far BUT after that i am postponing Part 5. I had originally planned to hopefully have it out before the end of august but with the current state of my mental health that is no longer feasable. After part 4 I Will take a break for maybe 1 or 2 weeks to just not work in order to get my mental situation sorted.

Sal proved that a working vacation was not a good solution.

But after the break i will get to work on Part 5 where i will put all the cards on the table. I have decided to put in that extra effort that has been lacking in Parts 1-3 (and probably 4) in order to make up for my sub-par performance thus far, another reason for the break. I cannot say how long it will be between parts 4 and 5, perhaps a whole month or even 2, idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ we shall see

It will be out before the year ends tho, of that i am certain. Current plan is 3-4 big pictures for Part 5 and just a butt-ton of characters. This is to keep me happy as i do not particularly enjoy enviornments but character design is my passion.

The way i work with making the AU designs is reverse engenering my Mainline designs. That way it wont be a complete radio silence from me, The Ubb, but i am saving all my AU designs for Part 5.

But speaking of how i work lets segway back to part 3 yea?

For part 3 here i wanted to introduce this AUs Shadow! This AU is my take on an Anti-Verse AU as i call it, where Bad guys be good guys and good guys be bad guys! IDK if it has an actual Name or some such.

This AUs Shadow is alot more silly looking which is 100% intentional. In this Anti-Verse AU this guy here did not end up nearly as traumatized as Mainline Shadow, main thing being Maria do be alive in this AU! I sadly dont have a design for her yet, will in Part 5 tho.

Also if you do recall; for this AUs Eggy i Changed his name to Ovi Kintobor, i did a name change for some other characters aswell. One of them being Anti-Shadow here, or i suppose i should call him... Terios! cuz thats what i named him yo

I know that Name is attached to prototype Shadow and a design that is quite different from what you see here BUT thing is i have no plans to use Terios in my Take on Mainline Sonk and the Name is simply too cool to not use at all and with me already changing some names in this AU i figiured why not!

Now to talk abit about what he be looking like, firstly the Gun.

I decided to give my Take on Shadow a Gun cuz is neat. I enjoy the idea of Shadow using a gun but do agree that he doesnt really need one, he has Chaos Spears rember? They already cover ranged attacks. The gun needs to fill a gap in his already vast moveset, cover a blind spot so to speak, in order to deserve its inclusion.

So a-thinkin i went!

And then it hit me; the idea to have it function like an extension of his Chaos Spears! Therefore the small canister looking thingy with Chaos Energy on both guns

For Mainline Shadow i decided to have his Gun solve the accuracy problem. Im sure Shadow can Throw his spears real good but what about really long distances? A fancy gun would solve that i think! have it shoot chaos energy powered by Shadow himself, With it being energy based and meant to solve accuracy have it have like next to no drop off yknow? Like a Pistol sized Sniper!

For Terios i wanted to aproach it from a different angle, if not accuracy what else could a gun do for Shadow that his Chaos Spears cannot do on their own?

Well what about speed? Sure Shadow can probably chuck out his Spears quite quickly but there is most certianly a limit. I am sure a gun has a faster firerate than a throwing arm, just sayin.

And with my desire to Make Terios look abit sillier than Shadow i went for a very smooth, round and almost SMG looking shape clearly influenzed quite heavily by certain Tediore Pistols from Borderlands 3.

Next lets talk about the obvios.

I am very happy and proud of my Shadow design, he came out great, Less so for Terry here. You can clearly see i barely changed much, this is mostly due to me not really knowing what direction i wanted to go in at first and then a desire to move on once it was good enough.

But I Did some thinkin! With All three (Terios, Maria Kintobor and Gerald Kintobor) surviving the G.U.N raid of the ARK and thus Terios not being nearly as traumatized as Shadow i wanted to delve abit into the fact that Shadow should be around Sonic's age; in other words a teenager or at most a young adult.

Shadow never got a real chance for a proper childhood and getting to be a proper Kid but for this Anti-Verse i wanted to perhaps explore that abit more. What if Shadow's Story wasnt as dark? What if he got some proper time to be a Kid? Not forced to grow up quickly? Maria didnt die in the raid? Gerald wasnt executed by firing squad?

Thus for Terios i want to go into a more Silly direction cuz Terios just all-round had a better time than Shadow. Wasnt all perfect with sunshine and roses ofc but still better than Shadow. Terios gets be as happy and free like Mainline Sonk!

So when i decide to revisit Terios in the future i kinda want to go in a kinda Silly Super Hero Costume direction. I could go into further detail but i feel i have talked enough for now, see you this coming week with part 4! It will introduce this AUs Sonic, Tails and Metal Sonic, see you then!

I sure do like talking huh

[little-waterfly]

The Curse Of Being The Weakest.

Demon!Shinobu AU.

Type of fic: Drabble, prologue.

Trigger Warnings: Content not suitable for everyone. Descriptions of violence, mentions of blood, injections, death, implied self-harm, mental illness.

Author notes:

This is one of the first times writing something on my own. The idea came from a Demon Event I did on my Shinobu RP account, so I wrote a solo explaining how she decided to turn into a demon in order to get stronger and successfully defeat Douma.

Kinda an AU where she decides to use demon blood instead of you know..

If I get motivated, I might write a multi-chapter short fic where I can include interactions with Kanao, Giyu (coughs Giyushino) and her fighting Douma in her demon form.

I also gotta credit my friend Awesome for some of the ideas and being my beta reader, mwah ~

Enjoy and let me know your thoughts if you liked it ~ !

Kocho Shinobu's office, Butterfly Mansion.

Looking at the demon blood reserve she has been collecting from lower rank demons in her past missions as Hashira, Shinobu made sure she got it stored in a secret and safe place.

Getting stronger has always been challenging for her, feeling too weak to accomplish her goal of avenging her late sister, Kanae. That was the reason why Shinobu decided to try a different approach, becoming more and more interested in how the demon blood worked.

Being a breathing user would take a lot of demon blood for her to transform, still, she didn't give up and calculated the minimum she needed.

With her own medical knowledge, she separated the blood's components, only keeping the necessary to make a demon blood concentrated serum that she could get into her body by her own.

Days, weeks, months went by. The demon blood couldn't be taken in small portions like poison, it had to be done all at once.

She also knew that for her level of breathing concentration, it would almost be impossible to become a demon, so everything had to be meticulously calculated.

Once she reached more than the minimum volume of the liquid in her storage, Shinobu stopped going to her missions, using the excuse of focusing more on the butterfly mansion to treat the injured people and also training more nurses and doctors to help out with that labor.

Despite the hard work in the mansion, the real reason was to stop using her breathing style and make the transformation effective.

She marked a specific day in her calendar. No one else knew or suspected what she was planning but, for her, it was a risk that had to be made in order to get stronger and be able to fight other demons by becoming one of them herself.

Three bags of concentrated blood were hanging in her locked office at night.

A catheter in her forearm connected her own blood with the demon blood bags. Muzzling herself she took a piece of paper to start writing a letter before she let the serum drop into her body.

ㅤㅤ" Kanae, I'm sorry.

ㅤㅤKanao, people in the Butterfly Mansion, the rest of the Hashira, the kids who has lost their families to the demons, slayers in training. . .

ㅤㅤI won't go after you. . . But you're allowed to go after me, I know I deserve it and you would do as the rules said so. . . Still, I have to deeply apologize. . . because this is something I had to do.

ㅤㅤAs the weakest Hashira, trying to avenge my sister against an Upper Moon sounds like a failed mission or just a suicide attempt. I won't allow that, they all need to die, and probably I will too, but I will only rest in peace once I realize that I could give all of myself to the cause. . . Even if it meant becoming a demon myself.

ㅤㅤI won't ask you to understand, but I hope you do.

- Kocho, Shinobu . "

After putting the letter in a safe place, she let the concentrated thick liquid drop at a medium pace, quick enough to make it effective and slow enough to prevent a heart attack. She was a doctor after all and knew the correct way to do it.

Keeping her look in the ceiling, she felt every drop of blood getting inside her veins. It felt cold, painful, she felt herself dying inside little by little.

Those felt like the longest hours in her whole life, glad she muzzled herself because she let go screams of pain once in a while.

Tears ran down her face, but she was determined to get to the end of this. A pain killer would only make the process longer or ineffective, she calculated until the last detail of this.

After three hours, she changed to the next bag, keeping one more left, so she had to go all night through the same painful process.

Once the last blood bag was dripping in her veins, she was used to that pain, letting herself faint until the process was complete.

Waking up by some knocks on her door, she saw that the last bag was empty, quickly putting everything away.

When everything was clean, she left the letter on the surface of her desk, jumping off from the window and running to hide in the darkness of the woods in case she had a side effect, not sure if anyone would find ever her, but Shinobu wasn't a human anymore. . .

She was now a demon.

[kidflashimpulse]

I hope you know that every day I wonder what the FIVE messages from Cassie say in the first chapter of AAIT. And the three from blue. I may be mentally ill.

Anyways, hope things are going well for you. Don’t forget to drink some water for hydration <3

it’s okay, we are in the same mental institution together <33 lol

this is so sweet 😭<3 thank you, and i hope ur taking care too!!

now about what those messages said 😁😁 i guess we will never know

UNLESS

jk lol for now, i don’t think the rest of AAIT will go too much into bart’s friendship with cassie, but i do have a sequel to AAIT very roughly outlined (not complete yet) which has their friendship as somewhat central to it (atleast for now)

like for some reason i drafted up the first part of a chapter (? ) (idk wat it is tbh lmfao?) featuring the two on an undercover mission that….. let’s just say is very inspired by a certain movie LOL it’s actually too random so i might post it some day as an intermission between the two fics, i don’t know but it does feel so random in the plot (because it’s a mission flashback) also another total random mention to that story, it features The Ray from the YJ comics a little, which is just, so random. But for some reason, it kinda worked for the story 😂 idk

as for the messages, since i always found YJ bart and cassie being on the same wavelength of energy of being spontaneously passionate and active about everything and anything including the most random stuff, honestly its probably smn along the lines of:

- [which Clamulon are YOU Quiz, click HERE]

- btw r u still on for taking over for squad next Thursday or can i?

- i have a record to maintain u knw i need it pls

- btw which dress should i buy the girls r saying i gotta stop with the stars but it’s my brand like idk

- [article] “ Which came first Girl Wonder or Wonder Girl, find out HERE” do u see this shit ?!

or something like that 😭😭😭 i feel like the fact that they’re both public legacy heroes is a good source of bonding/understanding between the two

as with Jaime 👀 who knows, but he’s making his feature sooner than cassie so

also, thank you for reading AAIT <33 i appreciate it <3

[alpaca-clouds]

My Issue with Redemption Arcs

I think my most unpopular popculture opinion ever is: Zuko's redemption arc... does not really work for me. Though it is not that much a thing about Zuko's redemption arc and rather about how white western media tends to portray redemption arcs.

Usually it goes something like that: There is this villain character, who usually from the very beginning is carrying this huge "gotta get redeemed later" sign with themselves, who at some point in the story goes "wait, am I the bad guy?!" They will then go ahead and join the ragtag band of protagonists, who might be kinda mistrustful for obvious reasons, but will probably come along within half a seasons worth of episodes (or up to 10 book chapters) and quickly forgive him. There might be some episodes/chapters to establish the reformed villain's role within the group then. If the now reformed villain has done ill by a large group of people (because they are a war criminal or something) there might also be an episode/chapter where they go ahead and save a village or something, willing to sacrifice themselves. Which instantly will make everyone everywhere totally forgive them and they end up being celebrated a hero by all.

Thanks. I hate it.

But now let me talk about why I hate it so much.

It is not even a complicated reason. It is simply: This kind of story tends to put narrative pressure onto the victims to forgive the villain, who might have suffered all kinds of both physical and mental pain through what the villain have done.

Depending on the kind of story they might have suffered abuse, might have lost family members or friends, might have been a supressed class or even a slave because of the villain.

And then the story will go: "But, hey, the villain is now really sorry and you tots should forgive them because they didn't mean it! Don't you see, they have this big dramatic, sympathetic backstory that totally explains why they have turned out that way."

And I am sorry, but... It just does not work like that.

My issue is not the villain redeeming themselves. That is fine. But it is specifically the relation to the victim and the expectation that the victim(s) need to be fine with it then that irks me so much. And how easily they are forgiven.

And yes, the reason why this irks me so much is, that in real life we often also expect victims to behave like that. "Oh, your parents abused you? Well, they said they are sorry and are willing to make up for it. So you should accept that!" - "Oh, that bully from highschool? See, they went to a super rough patch with their family at the time and now they feel sorry. Will you not go and meet with them so they can apologize?" - "Oh, that expartner who raped you? Yeah, they went to therapy and are now totally reformed. They feel really sorry. Forgive them."

And it also obviously goes for group-based violence. "Oh, that politician, who campaigned on taking your human rights from you and had your brother thrown into prison? Yeah, they totally are seeing now that they were in the wrong and are willing to make up for it! Give them a chance!"

And that's just not... how any of this works.

I am perfectly fine with people switching sides and joining the good side... But I am just not fine with people being forgiven by everyone everywhere by just... doing this one thing or gesture for them, making everyone instantly go "I guess it is fine now".

If you follow me for any amount of time you know that my favorite series currently is Castlevania - and if you have followed me a bit longer you also know my favorite movie of all time is Mad Max Fury Road. And I think both have a much better approach to redemption arcs.

Isaac's story in Castlevania very much is a redemption arc. But during this redemption arc NOBODY has to forgive Isaac. Well, that is nobody but himself. There is no survivors from the genocide that he has to save to proof himself and who then are forced by the narrative to say: "Yeah, actually he is a good guy." His entire arc is about he himself figuring out why he did wrong and how he could do better.

Same with Mad Max Fury Road and Furiosa. The story is not shy about telling you that it is a redemption story. Though the things the characters need redemption for are not even defined in detail. It is just said: "Yeah, they are looking for redemption." It is very much about Furiosa and Max learning that they can do right by some people, even if they have done wrong by others. We do not even know (well, in Max's case we do through additional material), who they have failed/done wrong by. Those do not factor into the story. The story is about them learning to do right.

Nobody owes anyone forgiveness. And I hate it, when media frames it as if they do.