#this hurt me to write honestly

[the-broken-pen]

“You’re going to blow out your arms,” the villain observed. They watched as the hero merely grit their teeth, shoving themself through another pull-up. It looked painful, and if the sweat slicking the hero’s brow was any indication, it was.

They waited for the hero to let themself drop from the bar and accept the villain was stronger. But they didn’t.

Three more pull-ups, and the villain stepped in.

“Hero,” they said slowly. “You’re about to tear the ligaments in your arms. You need to stop.”

The hero blew out a shuddering breath. Struggled for purchase, fighting gravity—and let themself drop.

The hero’s hands were bleeding, calluses torn open by the bar. The hero didn’t seem bothered when their own hands shook so much that their blood began to splatter on the gym floor.

For a moment, the villain could only stare at them.

Shit.

They didn’t know how to handle this. They knew the hero was dedicated. They knew the hero was strong, and perpetually trying to be stronger, but they hadn’t thought…

They hadn’t thought the hero would be so willing to tear apart their own body for success.

It was supposed to be fun, the villain thought. They felt a little sick as the hero pressed their palms together to soothe the bleeding, an action that was practiced and familiar. As if they had done this before.

The hero reached for something in their bag, smearing blood on the side, and pulled out a roll of blue electrical tape. The villain didn’t understand why, until the hero tore a strip off and made to wrap their hands with it.

The hero would be the death of them.

They crouched in front of the hero, plucking the electrical tape out of their hands.

“What are you doing with this?”

The hero blinked at the villain like they were the strange one in this situation.

“Wrapping my hands?”

The villain hissed in a breath.

“With electrical tape?”

The hero flushed slightly, looking down at their bloody hands. They looked close to tears.

“It…sticks to skin, really well. And it doesn’t move, either, when you move your hands or wherever else, even if you’re fighting. Plus, blood doesn’t make it come off, at least, not for a while.”

The villain blinked at them.”

“Blood doesn’t make it come off,” the villain repeated, processing. The hero nodded, reaching for the electrical tape. The villain settled it out of reach.

“Not if you wrap it right.”

Dimly, the villain realized that meant the hero had done this enough times to have it down to a science.

“And you couldn’t use a bandaid?” The villain asked incredulously. The hero shrugged a shoulder, then winced at the motion.

Yeah, the hero had absolutely blown out their arms.

“Bandaids move—“

The villain hushed them.

“Be quiet for a second.”

The hero, wisely, went quiet.

The villain rubbed a hand over their face, then studied the hero for a moment. They took one of the hero’s hands into their own, studying the damage.

“Why did you do this to yourself,” the villain murmured.

“What do you mean, why,” the hero snapped. “It’s my job.”

“Your job is to save people,” the villain corrected. “Not destroy yourself.”

“I’m not destroying myself—“

“You are.”

“Shut up—“

“Hero.”

“I need to be better,” the hero snapped. Their voice rang out across the gym, echoing into the rafters, and they both froze. After a moment, the hero spoke again, voice soft. “I need to be better.”

They said it like they needed the villain to understand. The villain wondered who they were really saying it to—the villain, or themself.

“Better than who?”

“Everyone.” It was hushed, like a secret.

The villain watched them, waiting.

The hero took a shaky breath

“My whole thing is being the best. I have always been the best. That’s the only reason I matter. If I’m not strong enough, then I am nothing, so I need. to be. better.”

The hero had started crying, very quietly, like they were afraid to take up too much space.

The villain was not equipped to handle gifted kid burnout.

“There’s more to you than just being a good athlete,” the villain said hesitantly, and the hero shook their head.

“No. There isn’t.”

“Hero.”

“Can you give me back my electrical tape?” They hiccuped to contain a sob.

“No,” the villain said firmly, and then the hero really was sobbing.

“You don’t understand—“

The villain didn’t. Not really. They had never been the kind of talented that the hero was.

They wondered now if maybe that was a blessing.

“I don’t,” the villain agreed. “But I do understand that you’ve saved half the city, and you give everything you have to give, and you always do your best.”

“But I-“

“No.” The villain stopped them. “You are doing your best.” They tipped the hero’s chin up until they met the villain’s eyes. “And it is enough.”

The hero froze, eyes darting over the villain’s face. They wondered if anyone had ever said that to the hero, if whatever mentor they had was giving them anything other than orders to be stronger. Be better. Be more.

The villain had some new targets to take care of, it would seem.

For now, though, they had to take care of hero.

“We’re going to go wrap your hands,” they said softly. “And then we’re going to take care of your arms, and you’re going to take a nap.”

The hero nodded, watching them like they were some kind of good, selfless person.

“And if I ever catch you using electrical tape again, so help me, I will put you six feet under.”

That startled a laugh out of the hero, and they let the villain guide them to their feet.

“Fine.”

The villain turned to them. “Okay?”

Are you going to be alright?

The hero seemed to understand.

“Okay,” the hero agreed.

Yes.

And so, it was.

[kacievvbbbb]

God what even do I do with this chapter 😭 but here are some of my thoughts.

SPOILERS FOR CH. 268

- what the fuck

-“Maybe it’s time to try living for someone else” okay the itafushi shippers really won with that one, I can’t lie. But at the same time it feels like Megumi’s always been living his life for someone else specifically Tsumiki. so it kind of feels like the stronger message would have been to decide to live for himself? Kind of how yuuji’s journey went from finding this greater purpose to live and fight to simply just living is okay as well. But that’s just me. Im interested in hearing other people’s take on the situation

- this is from last chapter but I so really like the parallel of yuuji in this fight for his life with Sukuna and Mahito and being so weighed down by everything that he has lost and everything he is still trying to save and then Kugasaki hits that resonance and Yuuji sees that he’s not alone and god something about it always being Nobara and her insanity breaking him from that sorrow and giving him that last push to fight like he's not alone.

- also I do think seeing Nobara’s resonance after having to be the one to break it to itadori that she wasn’t recovering, really solidified that there where things still worth living for.

- I don’t know something about Sukuna finally after all these chapters acknowledging itadori by finally saying his name is so very Sukuna off him. It’s like the inverse of him going into Jogo’s flashing life and telling him he’s strong. This time he’s the one dying and he’s finally acknowledging the boy that killed him. Say what you want about Sukuna but he ain’t no sore fucking loser.

- God how fucking Yuuji Itadori of the whole thing to after everything all the terror and the torture and the pain to still offer Sukuna a chance to live and live better. A chance to not be a slave to his nature to this curse in their blood. God Yuuji what do I even do with you.

- okay so not even a fucking frame of the Hakari/Uraume showdown. Really 😭😭. It looked like things were happening too. With that final parting it looked like they’d reached some kind of understanding and not even a fucking frame. Gege the way your mind works.

- really not even one punch? Not even one gambling shot. I’d have payed good fucking money to see Hakari explaining how a pachinko machine works to a 1000 year old curse servant.

- the little “you’re just lucky is the best compliment for a guy like me” and the “yeah I guess it is” was a great exchange tho. Which is is why I wonder. Really not one fucking frame😭. I wonder if mappa will just ignore this and give them a fight scene anyway like they elongated the Sukuna vs Mahagora fight.

- and now finally, some good fucking food.

- Gojo’s little I killed your daddy note is so funny. What the fuck is wrong with him

- again. What the fuck.

- Nobara being as rude as fucking always god I love her. She is taking no prisoners. Fuck you mean you aren’t weeping at her feet at her return.

-Them trying to do the whole box suprise for Megumi and him catching them in the act is so stupid I actually can’t 😭. They really only have one braincell

- Nobara not giving a single fuck about her mom like what. Also what did she mean by “Special grade authority”

- crazy that they all got face scars now. They’re a matching set.

- I wonder what Yuuji’s talk with gojo was. I wonder what parental figure gojo exposed for him.

- I dunno this chapter making me feel like he might come back. Gojo Satoru just might make a come back.

- I’m glad that atleast after everything it’s gunna end with the three of them. Maybe a little damaged and worse for wear but together and that counts for something.

-lastly…..what the fuck m.

[undermine-the-instinct]

Neuvillete is definitely the type to ask you "Did you drink any water today" if you say you have a headache

[kakusu-shipping]

headcanons for dating Kyoya from Ouran? Iirc he was one of my crushes when I first watched the anime as a kid and I always thought his glasses were so cool

Dating Kyoya Ootori Headcanons

He's the kind of guy who says he'd want someone low maintenance, who'd let him put work first, but then you meet his friend group and realize he's full of shit and does need the balance of someone clingy, loud, and high strung. It's comforting to him, familiar.

He could plan a date if you wanted him too, and it'd be classic and romantic and expensive with every little detail and moment planned out, but all of it would be pure "what the internet said a good date would be". It'd be better to tell him what you want to do as a starting off point, and he'd go from there

Gifts are a lot like his date planning as well, he'll get you anything you ask for but if you don't tell him directly what you want, you're getting whatever the top google results for Good Gift for Romantic Partner is. He won't get you something you'd hate or wouldn't use of course, but he figures if you wanted something specific you'd tell him.

All of this changes of course when he's feeling petty. One of the other hosts call him out for being so passive in his relationship? He'll change his tune, get you something perfect you didn't even know you needed until right then, or plan a date to somewhere you'd always wanted to go but never actually considered. He knows you better than anyone else, even yourself, and he can prove it when provoked.

You're probably the only person who could convince him to put down a project before 2am, or even better the only one who could wake him up before noon on a day off and survive the encounter without a verbal lashing. Though you probably still can't actually get him out of bed without good reason.

If he was ever mean to you in the morning he would probably be rather mortified, and would spend the day trying to make it up to you, subtlety of course. Please don't take anything he says before he's fully awake to heart.

He has thousands of photos of you on his phone, btw. And on Tachibana's phone. And a few on Honda's. And maybe a couple on Aijima's as well. He can't help himself, he just wishes to capture every beautiful moment he has with you. He's considered equipping Honda with a professional camera to capture beautiful moments of the two of you together as well. He is the best of the staff at photography.

[writing-whump]

Hector fic with Isaiah caretaker

Missing their brotherly love

Awww. This came at the perfect moment, nonny! Very very sick Hector from the seawater plus Isaiah. I struggled with this continuation for two days, then scrapped it and wrote it from the beginning and now I think it finally works, lol

Seawater part 2

"Isaiah. Isaiah, wake up."

Isaiah groaned, opening one eye at Matthew shaking his shoulder lightly. "Hmmm?"

"Stop playing a vampire. Up with you."

"Is something wrong?" Cowebs of sleep were slowing down his thoughts. Between training and afternoon, he slept like a dead, that was true. It helped him function for the rest of the time like he was fine.

Then again, Matthew wouldn't disturb him if it wasn't something serious.

"Go check on your brothers. Hector's sick as heck."

Yep, that was like a bucket of cold water, washing the cobwebs away. Isaiah sat up, kneading at his forehead. "What do you mean sick? What happened?"

Matthew shrugged, crossing his arms on his chest. "Threw up all over the hall, that's what happened. All seawater too. Think he drowned himself in a hissy fit or something."

"Seawater..."

"Yeah. I cleaned it up, just so you know."

Isaiah got up from the bed to change his lose shirt into a more formal short-sleeved button up and pants. "Did he ask for me?" he said hopefully.

"Nope." Matthew grinned. "Asked me not to get you, actually." He sounded terribly happy with himself for doing the exact opposite.

Isaiah shook his head. "Alright. Thank you." In that moment Isaiah was incredibly grateful Matthew was his second and would always be in his corner. Nobody else's.

...

Hector was pretty sure this was what rock bottom felt like.

He was heaving over the toilet for the umpteenth time, thick gushes of seawater shooting out of him like someone opened a damn faucet. Although that must have been the 8th time he was puking, his stomach still felt all bubbly and distended, firm to the touch.

He felt so incredibly full. The stupid water didn't seem to want to stop—he couldn't remember drinking as much of that damn thing as was coming back.

His mouth tasted bitter and salty, and he wasn't sure if his voice was shot from the salt or the repeated vomiting of it. Even worse was the constant thirst. He felt so thirsty his eyes and tongue burned, but he also couldn't phantom putting anything in his stomach.

It was as swollen ball of swirling cramps and misery. It hurt to touch, to not touch, to lean against anything.

Oh and the killer headache he was developing, that was fun too. Hector rarely got headaches, they were always somehow relegated to his youngest brother. Must have been from the dehydrayation.

He would have loved to drink so much, but the mere idea had him retching violently over the toilet again to the point he was seeing starts.

"Okay, just get it up, it's okay," Arnie said in a frantic voice that told him it was everything but okay. The younger blonde crouched beside Hector, one hand braced on his heaving brother's back, the other scrolling through Google articles about seawater poisoning.

Google to the rescue for real.

Hector spat a tangly bit of saliva into the toilet. It was just cloudy whirling seawater. He flushed the toilet and slumped back against the wall. A woozy feeling was joining the chorus of pains, the cold titles of the tiny apartment's bathroom digging into his knees.

His vision was swimming in and out of focus. Was he still at sea? His stomach was somersaulting like on a damn boat.

"This is good Hex. Your body will get rid of the salt and then you will make up for it with proper water and you'll be okay," Arnie said, hand patting Hector's cheek. "Just don't go passing out on me, deal?"

Hector forced his eyes open and snorted, the sound reverberating in his chest like a bullet. "Not passing out. 's fine, pipsquak. I'm fine."

His stomach muscles convulsed again and he struggled to keep the grimace off his face.

Arnie winced, attuned to his breathing. His hand landed on Hector's elbow as he helped him lean over the toilet again. Just in time for Hector's stomach to wring itself out of his throat, the splash echoing over the room.

Hector heaved several more times on empty, feeling the water swirl in his stomach, fighting for freedom. Or maybe just inflamming everything it touched for good measure. "Damn thing...w-won't stop..."

Arnie lifted himself on his knees to rub Hector's back, a steady presence. His worry warmed Hector up, gave him something to focus on. It helped with the panicky feeling rising in his chest as goosebumps rose on his arms.

The nausea was always there, horrible, higher than he ever felt before. He constantly felt like he could throw up, jaw tingling with it.

His stomach cramped fiercely, and Hector doubled over with a groan, falling into Arnie. The younger boy squealed, almost toppling under Hector's weight. "You can't even hold your head up anymore...we need to get you into bed-"

"God, my stomach...." Hector was way beyond caring what he was saying. The way his belly seized drowned out anything else. He curled up on the floor around his middle, moaning as his overfull insides tried to tear themselves in two.

"I got him," came a sudden voice. Another pair of hands was on Hector's back, massaging into the center of the tightly locked muscles. His body convulsed on the floor, his head almost bumping into the toilet tank, wasn't it for someone's palm on his forehead suddenly softening the impact.

"-Arnie, we need something to rehydrate him quickly-"

"-won't keep anything down! He retches every two fucking minutes, I don't know-"

The voices mixed, rose and fell with emotion but Hector couldn't tell them apart. It felt like his head was underwater, everything muffled by bubbles, and blood was rushing in his ears.

He recognized words like "pharmacy," "taxi," and "take Matthew." On some level, he could still perceive Arnie's voice jumping in worry and another calmer voice with an almost commanding presence saying something back.

The floor shifted under him and then fell away with a terrible sinking feeling. Hector struggled against the weird sensation, someone's arm around his back, hoisting him up. It was too quick, too unexpected. His belly cramped and sent out a new fountain of seawater. He felt like a water ballon toy squished in the middle.

"Hang on, buddy, hang on. It will be over in a second."

The temperatures changed as did the light, but his vision was still out. He could only see from behind his eyelids, eyes squeezed shut against the wave of vertigo and nausea clawing his mouth open at every turn.

He felt something soft underneath as he was lowered onto the bed, almost melting at the contact. That felt so much better than the hard floor. Before he could find his bearings, a gross feeling drove his teeth apart as yet another watery puke sprayed out.

Hands on his back again. Lifting him up on his side just enough so he could puke into something with a plastic bottom, the water splashing loudly against it. "There you go. It's okay, just breathe. Breathe, Hex."

It was a good tip since his throat burned with the rest of the salty contents. Hector took a breath, feeling like drowning all over again. He had to cough to clear his throat, but once he was breathing, he went completely limp against the pillow, exhausted.

It felt like he was asleep for entire two minutes, when he woke up again. He blinked his eyes open against, the offending afternoon sunlight. His mouth still felt terrible, his throat ached from thrist...the nausea was still there, high and horrible, but he could sleep through it, he would love to sleep through it...

A piercing cramp, like a knife to the stomach made him distinctly aware why he woke up. He shifted, trapped underneath the blankets, to curl up on his side, a whole-bodied shiver of revulsion shaking him from head to toe.

"You awake? Hey, bud." A hand on his arm, stroking small circles. He recognized the voice with a wince.

"Zaya...?"

"Yeah, right here. Welcome back to the land of the living." There was a smile in his tone, but with an edge of artificial lightness.

Hector forced himself to roll on his back to see and indeed, Isaiah was there, sitting against the wall on top of the blankets. All in black to keep in style, his hand still on Hector's shoulder, going with his movement.

Hector squinted his eyes, his head was hammering away with every breath he took.

Something about the sight of his oldest brother with that calm expression, only a gentle frown and the focused calmness of his eyes had Hector's insides twisting.

This was Isaiah's crisis face, the one when he was being attacked. When something was hurting. As if Hector's state could do that to him.

His breath hitched and he retched right there in bed. Isaiah grabbed the bowl near his leg with lightning speed, lifting Hector up into a sitting position.

Hector struggled over the bowl, stomach muscles spasming and burning with the exertion, but only a dribble of foamy bile came up.

"There, there. I know this sucks, but you are going to be okay," Isaiah said, patting his back gently while he put the bowl away again.

Hector wanted to laugh at the tone, the expression, the fussing. The exhaustion and nausea morphed into an intense, unexplainable stabbing in his gut. It came from deeper than his stomach, like it was stringing a cord all the way from his core. It caused an entirely different reaction than he expected.

He burst into tears.

Folding over himself, he was sobbing over his lap. He was just so tired of it all. He wasn't sure why he was sobbing, the pressure in his temples increasing all the more. His pulse quicked, his body protesting and struggling to give the last drops of liquid left to the few tiny tears that burned his eyes.

"Oh god, Hex, are you crying?" Isaiah pulled him into his lap, arms encircling him immediately. "You feel really rough, huh?"

"S-sorry, I'm sorry," he hiccuped, whole jest jostling with the force.

"Shhh, it's okay. You can cry all you want, it's fine. It's just me." Isaiah pressed him against his stomach, hand carding through the sweaty mess of his curly hair.

And Hector just gave in to the feeling. Being held like this, falling apart this thoroughly...he was shaking and tired and hurting and Isaiah was right there, where he needed him. He wrapped his hands around Isaiah like he wanted to physically stop him from ever moving again.

When the shaking sobs brought up a couple of burps, Isaiah didn't even flinch, just held him tighter. Hector was basically drooling in his lap, but the other wolf said nothing, cold fingers sliding to his cheek, his neck, shushing him like a child.

"Okay. We are okay. I'm right here. Everything will be alright," Isaiah chanted quietly in his ears, rocking back and forth. And Hector let go, losing himself in the reassurance.

[beanghostprincess]

I think a very normal amount about Crocodile and Mihawk genuinely seeing Buggy's value. Genuinely appreciating his dream and his sense of adventure. Mihawk (bored-to-death swordsman who desperately needs something new) and Crocodile (the man who only cares about business because the last time he wanted something a kid with flip-flops sent him flying) seeing that the clown they're only using as bait and punching bag is actually the one with the biggest pirate heart. They realize he has charisma and followers for a reason and it's the fact that his "fake it til you make it" persona is actually built above his true dream. The words of fake confidence he speaks are actually words he genuinely wants to believe, but always fears will backfire because he doesn't have anything to rely on (unlike Shanks. Because even if Shanks doesn't need to rely on anything, he used to wear the trust and love of their captain in his head and everyone else supported him to be his legacy). So they end up seeing that they can do more with him. Together. Mihawk and Crocodile might have the money and the people but Buggy has the dream. They can go higher. They can be more than what they thought they were. Buggy shows them this side of himself between tears and sudden yelling and they have to admit that... They used to have dreams. Long forgotten ones. And okay, Buggy might not be the king of the pirates. They're so not saying that. But they can go higher.

They see this side of him and they never say it out loud (and even if they did, Buggy wouldn't even notice because he's busy begging them not to kill him. Which, y'know, fair) but something changes inside of them. Perhaps it's a faint, tiny sense of protectiveness. Maybe affection. Some type of appreciation they can't quite name because it would be too embarrassing for them to even say they care for this clown but- But it's there. Something.

So they keep Buggy around and he starts to feel less like a punching bag and more like somebody they care about. Kind of. And you know what? Maybe the damn clown can become the king of the pirates if he has already made the impossible happen once.

[yellowocaballero]

Been a fan of your fics for YEARS. I was just telling my friend how despite how much I read fics I never actually love them, with some of your fics (especially TMA) as the exception. Felt the need to reread some of them and saw you reblogged some ISAT fanart. So. Any thoughts on ISAT you'd like to share?

Hope you have a wonderful day!! So happy I found your fics again!!

I avoided answering this for a while because I was trying to think of a way to cohesively and coherently vocalize my thoughts on In Stars and Time. I have given up because I don't want to hold everybody here all day and I have accepted that my thoughts are just pterodactyl screeching.

I love it so much. I have so much to say on it. It drove me bonkers for like a week straight. I have AUs. It's absolute Megbait. They're just a little Snufkin and they're having the worst experience of anybody's life. Ludonarratives my fucking beloved.

I am going to talk about the prologue.

The prologue is such a fascinating experience. You crack open the game and immediately begin checking off all of the little genre boxes: mage, warrior, researcher, you're the rogue...some little kid who's there for some reason...alright, you know the score. You're in yet another indie Earthbound RPG, these are your generic characters, let's get the ball rolling.

Except then you realize that these characters are people. You feel instantly how you've entered the game at its last dungeon, at the end of the adventure. They have their own in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They get along well and they're obviously close, but not in a twee or unrealistic way. They have so much chemistry and spirit and life. I fell in love with them so quickly.

But Sif doesn't. Sif kind of hates them, because they will not stop saying the same damn thing. They walk the same paths, do the same things, make the same jokes, expect Sif to say the same lines. They keep referencing a Sif we do not see, with jokes we never see him make and heroic personality he never shows - they reference a Sif who is dead - and Sif can't handle that, so he kills them too.

They become only an exercise in tedious frustration. Sif button mashes through their dialogue, Sif mindlessly clicks the same dialogue options, Sif skips through the tutorial, Sif blows through the puzzles. Sif turns their world into a video game. Sif is playing a generic RPG. Sif forgets their names. They are no longer people with in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They're the mage, the warrior, the researcher, and...some random kid.

I did not understand the Kid's presence at first. I had no idea what they contributed to the game. They didn't do anything. As a party member in a video game, they're a bit useless. Why is the Kid there?

Because Sif's life isn't a video game. Because the kid isn't 'the kid'. They're Bonnie. Bonnie, who the party loves. Why is Bonnie there? Because they love them. There is no room for Bonnie in the boring RPG that Sif is playing. And then you realize that Sif is wrong, and that they've lost something extremely important, and that they'll never escape without it.

Watching the prologue before watching ISAT gave ISAT the most unique air of dread and horror, because you crack open ISAT and you see the person Sif used to be. You realize that Sif used to be a person. Sif used to be the person who made jokes, who gave real smiles, who interacted with the world as if they are a part of it. And you know you are sitting down to watch Sif lose everything that made them a person, to lose everything that made them a member of this world, and turn them into a character in a video game who doesn't understand the point of Bonnie at all.

At the climax of the game, when the others realize that something is deeply wrong and that Sif physically cannot tell them, they realize that there is nothing they can do. So Bonnie declares snacktime. And for the first time they have snacktime.

What is snacktime? Classic JRPGs don't have snacktime. There's literally no point to a snacktime - not in a video game, and not in Sif's terrible life. It's not fixing this, because nothing can fix this. But Bonnie gives Sif a cookie and Sif eats it.

It's meaningless. It's a cutscene. It didn't save Sif and it didn't change a thing. It will make no difference in the end.

But it did make the difference. It made all of the difference in the world. Bonnie is a character who you really don't understand the point of before you realize that Bonnie was the entire point.

ISAT is about comfort media. Why do we play the same video games over and over again? Why do we avoid watching the finale of our favorite shows? What is truly comforting: a story with no conflict, or a story where you always know what is about to happen? Do you want to live in a scary, uncontrollable world, or do you want to play Stardew Valley? Do you want a person or a character?

When I beat Earthbound for the first time (and if you don't know, the prologue/ISAT battle system is just Mother) and watched the ending cutscene where the characters part ways and say goodbye...I felt a little bit sad. I wanted them to be together forever. But that's something only characters could ever be.

[seaweedstarshine]

Late to the game as I’ve kinda been kinda non-here for a minute but I scrolled through the Dot and Bubble tag, and thought I wanted to write this post into existence.

There's this part in Doctor Who Unleashed where RTD says this:

“What we can’t tell is how many people will have worked that out before the ending. Because they’ve seen white person after white person after white person, and television these days is very diverse. I wonder, will you be ten minutes into it, will you be fifteen, will you be twenty, before you start to think, everyone in this community is white. And if you don’t think that — why didn’t you? So, that’s gonna be interesting. I hope it’s one of those pieces of television you see, and always remember.”

And I'm like. Yeah. But the reason this works even as well as it does is largely thanks to the work of the previous showrunner with the previous creative team, which was notably the first era to have any writers of color (amongst other firsts in terms of inclusivity in directors, composer, actors). While Chibnall fumbled whenever he tried to write about race himself, he did have the self-awareness to have Black and South Asian writers writing the episodes where race is the focus (and a female writer for the episode where sexism is a focus; my point is, he seemed to know his shortcomings).

I wonder what the current creative team looks like? (not really, but I wasn't 100% sure for all of them)

To quote RTD:

“...before you start to think, everyone in this community is white.”

This is pretty non-self-aware, right? It's pretty “It is said, and I understand this, there was a history of racism with the original Toymaker, the Celestial Toymaker, who had ‘celestial,’ and I did not know this, but ‘celestial’ can mean of Chinese origin, but in a derogatory way,” right? (from The Giggle Unleashed) It's pretty “and I had problems with that, and a lot of us on the production team had problems with that: associating disability with evil,” right? (from Destination Skaro Unleashed)

—none of which are issues that should be overlooked, but think how much exponentially better they might’ve been addressed if he’d consulted with Chinese writers and wheelchair-using writers before going straight to giving the Toymaker weird fake accents and making Davros walk?

How many Black or non-white people do we think saw the Dot and Bubble script before it landed in Ncuti’s hands?

And this just keeps happening.

And like, from some of the shocked responses I've seen from white viewers to the ending of Dot and Bubble, maybe the episode's unsubtlety was needed? From the way RTD talks about it in Unleashed, the episode was written with a white audience in mind, Baby's First Microaggressions (where of course the microaggressions come from people who are pretty self-admittedly white supremacists). Ricky September, a more seemingly normal depiction of someone in the racist bubble of Finetime, seemed like an interesting element, up until the way he died.

The ending worked for me, because I do think the Doctor's reaction is true to how the Doctor would react. I just keep thinking of how much better the core themes could've been handled by someone with actual lived experience on the subject matter.

[imfinereallyy]

El puts her finger to her lips in a shush motion when Eddie walks through the apartment's front door.

“Hey, Ellie Bellie, what are you doing here?” Eddie whispers, toeing off his sneakers.

“Me and Steve were supposed to do makeovers at Dad's. But he did not come. He called, saying he did not feel good. So I came here instead.”

It’s then that Eddie notices a sleeping Steve on El’s lap. Her fingers delicately playing with his hair. The room is darker than usual, too—nothing but the warm table lamp and the silent tv to light up the room. Eddie’s shoulders slump in realization. “Migraine? That’s the third one this month.”

El nods pausing at a particular gnarl in Steve’s hair. Steve hums in his sleep as El works at it. “I worry about his head.”

“Me too, super girl. Thank you for coming; you didn’t have to.”

Although El’s vocabulary has improved massively over the years, she sometimes struggles to vocalize her feelings. Eddie can see it happening right now as her eyebrows furrow together. Her difficulties with emotions remind Eddie of Steve. He knows the two of them have been working on it together. “I knew you would be at work. And Robin is at school now. Too far to call. I wanted to help.”

Eddie walks over to the two of them, scoops up Steve’s legs, and settles on the couch as he lays Steve’s legs over his own. “You did, El. You’re a really good sister.”

El brightens up slightly. Her concern is still there, but a dimple at the side of her cheek makes an appearance. “Thank you Eddie.” El pauses for a moment before speaking again. “Will he be okay?”

Eddie’s heart seizes at the affection El has for Steve. Some days he thinks she might give Eddie and Robin a run for their money in the “who loves Steve most” department. Eddie doesn’t feel upset about it, though. They all give Steve the different kinds of love he deserves. Robin gives him the steady, unwavering, platonic love that doesn’t ask for anything in return. Eddie gives Steve the passionate, romantic, deep love that would do anything to make him smile.

And El? She gives Steve a familial kind of love. Gentle but firm. Her lovd for Steve makes one wonder if maybe they really do share a bloodline. Bound together by family.

So when El gets all worried, Eddie knows she comes from a good place. From the best of places. “Yea, El, he’ll be okay. Just a migraine. I think he’s getting a lot lately because the EMT training is a lot. I think some downtime with you, though, was the perfect cure.” He rubs her hair back and forth in a brotherly motion.

El sighs and puts her head on Eddie’s shoulder. They both watch the silent tv for a bit before El speaks again, “He was upset. Said he disappointed me. He did not. He is allowed to have bad days. Hop taught me that. I do not think he knows that this makes me happy. Spending time.” El looks down at Steve again, twirling a lock of hair around her finger.

“When he’s feeling better, maybe tell him that. Can’t really argue with him while he’s down.” Eddie giggles, trying to hide the wetness in his eyes.

Steve stirs below them for a moment before saying, “El? Eds?”

El shushes Steve, “Do not worry, we are here. Always here.” El rubs Steve’s temples, easing him back to close his eyes.

Eddie strokes Steve’s ankle, “Not going anywhere, Stevie. We got you.”

The three of them fall asleep on the couch, not waking until the sun dips in through the windows the next morning.

———

is this a series? It might be. Just can’t enough of el + Steve sibling dynamic, and you guys seem to enjoy it too :) here’s more Eddie and El interaction, but about their love for this boy. Also much softer, less funny. But I really liked the idea of this. Okay I’ll be quiet now.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

when I want to write something self indulgent to give me all the angsty and cuddly hurt/comfort feels but I can't because I end up feeling guilty because I'm seeking after feels that I feel in an inappropriate place because my mom told me one time when I was 15 that I shouldn't search that out or it's probably sexual sin but it confuses me because ALL the feels happen that way for me even if it's entirely platonic and nonsexual and so I don't know if it's okay to want to write to that because apparently all pleasure of any sort, even over platonic stories, is sexual or comes with a possibly probably sexual feeling and I also am having a hard time figuring out what's genuine conviction from God and what's just my anxiety/OCD/perfectionism/fear of failure

[aria0fgold]

Seared like a songbird flying to the sun

A belated birthday gift for @misty-wisp ! Tried to combine references for both Swan Lake and Cendrillon >:3 (Linked the English cover I took the lyrics from for the title!)

[lafilleestmorte]

the thing is, toey never initiates emotional intimacy with q. he'll wonder for a year what kind of music q listens to but never even think to directly ask. he'll bug q about all sorts of tips to make his art better without revealing why he chose to pursue art at all. he'll collapse onto q's lap when he is drunk and extremely tired but won't ask to sleep next to him or even try to come up with an excuse to when he's sober. he doesn't actually ask q to come with him to the park - he asks peem and then peem asks q. toey will nag q with his tone or with his teasing or with his eyes? but never ask for what he actually wants

but even when q (or peem, or tan) takes initiative to make their intimacy possible, toey just seems happy and content to be held as close or as far as q is willing to have him.

If q came all this way to teach toey how to shade, if q is worried about toey being in the studio alone at night, if q (maybe) wants to learn how to skateboard, if q is worried about toey getting kicked off of the bed by peem, toey interprets it as exactly that and nothing more

[fandomestuff]

I've seen many people shit on the live action atla ((as we should this is such a bad adaptation and honestly a mid show in itself)) but I haven't really seen people talk stuff about Sokka and Suki

And I want to point out a couple of things that I absolutely hated about what they did to them in live action.

1. The kiss

I hate that they made them kiss at the end of the episode. I hate it so much. Like yes, in the original they both clearly had feelings for each other (especially that later Suki talks about losing sb very important to her, who we know was Sokka), but they weren't rushed like that.

In the original they both grow so much between their meetings. Sokka finally gets together with a girl (not the first girl he meets that's his age, like Suki), kisses sb for the first time, travels the world, meets new people and in general matures.

We don't know much about what Suki is doing during that time, but we know she finally does sth that helps people during war, sth that she said was important to her. She can finally put her skills in leadership to greater use and she feels great about it. She also matures during that time and we know that she still thinks about Sokka and misses him.

Them kissing immediately makes their relationship so much more bland and just... flat.

2. If they make all three seasons, we will probably not get the most iconic line of the show...

Because now Sokka's first girlfriend is technically Suki...

3. The whole scene with Suki teaching Sokka

I cannot empathise enough how important Sokka's sexism is in their relationship. It's something that Suki fixes in him, something she manages to show him... by absolutely kicking his ass. In live action... the fight scene next to those melons was a joke not a fight scene if I can be honest. Idk if it's the writing or the choreography or the actors but it looks so fake and just so bad 💀 And she attacked him while he was still "stretching"??? Suki would never.

What is this 💀💀

But the most important scene, and the one I hate the most in live action, is the one where Suki teaches him a very sacred and traditional and important to Suki and to her culture way of fighting.

In the original, Suki highlights that no man should learn their art and only after Sokka begs Suki to teach him does she agree.

But not without a very important piece that was fully missing from live action which baffles me so much.

The entire armor, the dress and make up.

Not only is it incredibly important to upholding the traditions and keeping the cultural aspect important, but the beautiful, might I add, outfit gives us the depth of Kyoshi Warriors that is just missing from the live action.

"The silk thread symbolizes the brave blood that flows through our veins. The gold insignia represents the honor of the warrior's heart."

It's beautiful. It's meaningful for both of them. It's important. And it's also a way for Suki to mess with Sokka which we love and stan.

I ALSO DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SUKI TOOK OFF HER MAKE UP FOR THE ALMOST KISS AND THE KISS. It's not like being a Kyoshi Warrior is sth that's bothering her. NO. She's incredibly proud of it!! So. why. take. an. important. part. of. it. away. for. some. stupid. kiss.

WHY NOT GO THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION?? Instead of her taking off her make up for the romantic scene why not just... put make up on Sokka... honestly what's more romantic than putting make up on your crush.

They could have made such a beautiful and intimate scene between these two.

Them sitting in front of each other. Suki putting on Sokka's make up, while either talking about herself or about how important this whole set up is for her and her culture. I wouldn't mind it then because it would give their relationship some depth instead of "omg he's so pretty" "omg she's so pretty." *kiss*

But no. Instead they kissed right next to a group of people (including Suki's mother which just makes is so much more weird) after Suki said sth about Sokka showing her a bit of the world.

And I hate it so much.

It takes away the part where Suki teaches Sokka something very important, something that changes his personality, helps with his arc to Sokka "showing her a bit of the world". How?? With what?? It's not like he took her away from the Island itself or introduced her to his culture. No. He just... showed up and kissed her.

Great writing.

And don't get me starter on the "I'm not just a warrior. I'm a Kyoshi Warrior" line. It's a good line. It really is. But it would be better if the producers actually focused on Suki being a Kyoshi Warrior and not just a girl that has a crush on Sokka.

And while it's compared to "I'm a warrior. But I'm a girl too"... gods I... ughhhhhhh

So yeah. I hated it. I hated the show. All I have to say is:

They ruined my favourite couple. They ruined many great characters. They completely missed the point of the original story.

[crybaby-bkg]

cw: mention of previous abuse, dad Dabi, mom reader, mention of childbirth, angst

new dad touya that doesn’t know how to deal with his son. he’s growing too fast and his smiles are so big, but he’s still not sure how to just be with him.

touya isn’t abusive in the slightest, not like his shit for brains dad. he can acknowledge, after you’ve drilled it into his head on cold nights where you had to hold his quivering cheeks in your hand, that he’s better. that he’s trying. that he’s a great dad.

he doesn’t really believe it. it’s hard to believe that he’s a great dad when his son, still covered in that fresh newborn smell, stares up at him with matching azure blue eyes, the little shit, and he finds it hard to smile back. it’d be easier to smile back if he could guarantee a life with no trauma, with the perfect pair of parents, that he’d love him as much as his tiny little face deserved.

touya can still hear the labor and delivery nurse tell him that he must’ve gotten on your nerves for the baby to look so much like him, and that they’ve never seen a baby that fresh out the womb smile so big at their dad. he hands the little bundle back to you, and glares at the nurse who hands him a tissue. he takes it anyway.

touya loves his son. so goddamn much that it hurts, but, he doesn’t know how to be a dad. and he knows that you don’t know how to be a mom either, that it’s a learning process for the both of you. but he’s so scared—he’s terrified that he’ll fuck up this innocent brat with his ruin. with his scars and history and the want to better but never knowing how to just be.

so he leaves. it’s the day after your sons first birthday that you celebrated together in your home.

you thought everything was okay, that he was starting to get the hang of being a dad. he did everything right, why couldn’t he stay? he sat on the floor with your son and changed his diaper and made him giggle those addicting baby giggles? he carried your son everywhere whenever he cried after being sat down without a single complaint? he helped him open his birthday presents? he didn’t smash the cake in his face, only swiped a little icing on his sons nose to hear that addicting baby giggle? he held your son like he could never let him go?

how could he just go like this? you thought he was finally learning and accepting how to be a dad? what happened?

[zedif-y]

"wow the emotions in this feel so REAL" thanks i yanked that out from my ribcage for the world to see

[fox-quills]

Fox!!!!!! <3333

For the ask meme: 4 and 8 <333

<33333!!! 4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

YOU!!!!! Know the answer to this very well, you enabler lmao. OKAY SO the correct answer to this would be "haha no I'm being a good writer and focusing on my current wips" but the true answer is "dear god so many save me please" Let's see if I can manage a quick rundown: - Dragon Crimes (aideku): Fantasy AU in which Shouta is a Hot Dragon with a contentious relationship to pants, and Izuku seduces him with the power of freckles and good parenting - Sequel to Slow Slide (dekumic): In which Hizashi is a neurotic headcase and tries to self-sabotage himself out a good thing but luckily nobody lets him - Sequel to Ships in the Night (aideku): Shouta and Izuku come out of a one night stand unreasonably obsessed with each other, and Hitoshi and Hizashi have to intervene because they're both a mess. - Villain Izuku (aidekumic): "Because you haven't written villain Izuku or alpha Hizashi yet" The commission makes a calculated risk, but man are they bad at math. Izuku is very competent and very angry, and Shouta and Hizashi definitely want to kiss him about it. I keep telling myself that I'll be free from the fanfic someday, but no. No I will not. 8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. So I have—what we will politely call—a poor memory, so I definitely do not have a killer line on deck ready to throw down. My favorite bits of dialogue tends to be the funny stuff, because I'm generally not great at humor so I'm always extra proud of myself when I manage to make myself giggle lol. ALTHOUGH I did find an old conversation about favorite snippets, so I'll do that one so I don't wind up digging through all my fic for hours. From Mobius: All the frustration that had been building in him on the topic came pouring out, Izuku near shaking with frustration at the futility of his situation. "But then what if I did? What if I laid it all out and put the burden of fixing the future on you, and you couldn't? How many pebbles do you have to toss in the river to change the flow?" Izuku sniffled, scrubbing roughly at the blur of tears he barely felt. "And what if, in trying to fix the future, I wind up making it all worse? Because it was—it was terrible and bloody and so many people died, but we won. And I keep thinking, about all the people we lost, and how we could save them, but changing the future isn't something you can predict. What if I manage to save a life?" The words came faster and faster, spilling out of him like blood from a wound. "What if I save ten, a hundred, a thousand? And what if, in the process of making sure we win the battle, I've only ensured we lose the war?" Silly Time Bonus, from Justice in Defiance:

Kacchan snorted. "Don't get mad at me because you decided to go cruising for ass at the retirement home."