#this is also a fairly accurate depiction of my personality

[baejax-the-great]

Someone apparently decided to steal a package of mine, discovered that it contained potting soil, a cookie jar for dog treats, a book about trans people, and carpet cleaner, and then just gave it back

[kevin-day-is-bi]

Beginner's Guide to Batman (and Batman-related) Media

(based on my knowledge and the things I enjoy)

Live action Batman movies are very hit or miss. Most of them are fairly middling, but the Dark Knight Trilogy is generally pretty bad. Poor Bruce characterization, white-washing, inaccurate representations of Gotham, etc. I have several thousand words written on that trilogy, and many more on live action movies in general (all of which are accessible thru my pinned post). The Batman (2022) is pretty widely regarded as being good and accurate. It has a much more emo depiction of Bruce. A major pet peeve of mine is that I, personally, don't think it's a very good Riddler, but everything else is good.

As for shows, those are generally less accurate but more enjoyable. Gotham is not technically canon I don't think but it has better aesthetics, canon accuracy, and character design than every live action movie imo. It starts with Bruce seeing his parents' murder and goes up until he first decides to become Batman. Gotham Knights is a much more AU-style show, detailing the death of Bruce and how his adopted son (invented for the show) handles it. It also has Stephanie, Harper and Cullen Row, and Duela Dent, plus great queer rep. Heavily recommended for people who want to know more about general character personalities or who enjoy AUs. Titans has Dick, Jason, and Tim, and while I personally don't think that they did well with the characterization of the other Titans, the Robins are well-done. If you want a good idea of Dick right after he became Nightwing, you want to see Jason as Robin, or you like Tim pre-Robin, this is the show for you.

As for animated shows, the usually widely loved ones are Justice League, Justice League Unlimited, and Batman: The Animated Series. B:TAS is largely accurate to the comics at that time, though it plays a little fast and loose with the Robins (goes straight from Dick to Tim). Plus, it's the first appearance of Harley Quinn! Additionally, I enjoy The Batman (2005), though it plays with the timeline a little and targets a younger audience. Batman Beyond is amazing if you want to get into the future of Batman/Terry McGinnis universe. The accompanying movie, Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker covers Tim becoming Joker Jr.

Speaking of animated movies, there are a Lot. Standouts include the Batman Unlimited movies, which are some of the only ones to include Tim. They're very futuristic, so if you enjoy AUs or the science side of Batman, these are the ones. There are a lot of AU style ones, like Gotham by Gaslight (which I personally really love but don't think is anything particularly special outside of being interesting for characters), The Doom That Came to Gotham, and Batman Ninja. Batman Ninja isn't one of my favorites, but it is very good and has general good characterization. If you want to know more about how Barbara became Oracle but you don't want to read one of the most sexist comics ever, watching the Batman: The Killing Joke movie is a good way to do it. It frames the movie from Barbara's perspective and focuses on her story. If you want to know more about Damian, Son of Batman and Batman vs Robin are good. They detail him becoming Robin and his brush with the Court of Owls. Batman: Under the Red Hood is absolutely necessary viewing for anyone who likes Jason, as it details him coming back to life and becoming the Red Hood (along with having one of the all-time most depressing lines in-context ever).

When it comes to media that doesn't have Batman in it but is Batman-affiliated, Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of Harley Quinn is a really good post-Joker pre-Ivy look at Harley, and it has Helena Bertinelli (Huntress), Dinah Lance (Black Canary), Detective Renee Montoya, and an AU-ized Cassandra Cain. The show Young Justice, particularly the first season, is a really good look at Robin!Dick in non-Bat teams, as is the animated Teen Titans. Both take slightly different routes when it comes to his personality, but both are equally good (especially if most of what you know about Robin!Dick is "holy dental hygiene, Batman!" or his vague backstory). They also both provide introductions into other team families, particularly Young Justice, so if you've just gotten into DC via Batman and want to know more about other characters, YJ is the way to go.

My personal idea of best piece of media for any character:

Bruce Wayne

Pre-Batman - Gotham

Batman: The Animated Series

Alfred Pennyworth

Batman: The Animated Series

Barbara Gordon

Batman: The Animated Series and The Killing Joke

Kate Kane

Batman: Bad Blood

Dick Grayson

As Robin - Young Justice

As Nightwing - the Son of Batman/Batman vs Robin/Batman: Bad Blood trilogy

Jason Todd

As Robin - Titans

As the Red Hood - Batman: Under the Red Hood

Tim Drake

As Robin - Batman: The Animated Series

As Red Robin - Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem/Batman Unlimited: Animal Instincts

Stephanie Brown

Gotham Knights

Damian Wayne

Son of Batman/Batman vs Robin

Feel free to send an ask about a specific movie or show (or if you want a detailed list of everything a specific character has ever appeared in!) - I'm currently watching every Batman movie in existence and writing reviews literally so I can provide better recommendations to people (on part 41 rn). I will gladly provide more details about any movie or show. Also if you want to know more about specific media or what media a specific character has appeared in that is Bat-affiliated but is not a Bat, I probably have info! Anyone who's ever been a Titan, most Supers, most of the JLA, etc.

I can do another of these for comic recommendations if anyone wants bc I Do have opinions, I've just had some folks ask questions about specifically non-comic media recently!

[moosh2727]

I FINALLY GOT ACCESS TO ISSUE 71 OMG

this took forever but finally i get to see him!! spoilers ahead :3

first of all, amazing cover. jet and the gang look amazing just in that one snippet

extreme gear dodgeball... thats interesting, reminds me of the multiplayer modes in riders zg that was not racing but fun!

HOW DARE YOU MAKE MY BOY ANGRY wave helping jet focus is nice like in zero gravity 💚

the rouges being in shock is always so funny, im glad to see wave and storm join in on the fun 💚

WOAHHH LOL dang sonic's going hard!!

i now headcannon wave has a mindfullness youtube video she makes jet begrudgingly watch LOL 💚

i love seeing them using their gear more, it fuels my autism 💚💚💚

THIS IS SO FREAKING FUNNY I LOVE IT, AND HOW DARE SHE CRASH IN JETS GEAR!! anyway love him /p 💚

AMAZING I WANNA SEE HIM ANGRYYY, BEAT THEM UP JET!!! 💚100 gonna use this part for art ref because it looks so good

the silence is so loud in this picture i love it, i wonder what jets gonna do? 😊

oh my gosh this is so heartbreaking actually what the heck- ALSO WAVE TELLING JET TO RUN IS SO ON POINT

the story telling via art is on point, theres not much words needed to convey the emotions the characters are feeling

THEY HAVE A NEW ROOM, I REPEAT THEY HAVE A KITCHEEEEEEEEN, storm being the cook fits so well i love it.

the food (curry im guessing) fits their background and double points for looking extra yummy.

jet's first sentence fits him so well, im really glad they're doing good depiction with him and everything relating to them, considering the idw special where jewel broke her wing SUCKED because of idw ppl not thinking about where jet lives on the ship, so they made it SUPER inacurate.

it makes me happy to see storm contributing and not being a stupid fat joke like in free riders. we need to appreciate this silly guy who got brain damage from amy hitting him many times, and he still manages to fulfil jets orders.

storm doing this with his eyes is as good as his eyes in free riders, but way better than his weird blink in the zero gravity black hole cutscene

jet being ahead of the game and i love it!!! NEW MISSION LETS GOOO!!!!!! 💚💚💚💚

these riders designs are really helping me in the future with my own oc 🫶

OMG THE WIFE OF THE TRAIN CONDUCTOR FROM MURDER OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!!!

ouch my heart

oh gosh thats so sweet but sad ugh

jet has become more thoughtful! i just hope he doesn't lose his edge, but even if he does i'll love him anyway /p 💚

i love how much talented ppl are in this community, im so glad for more jet content via idw and fan creations. jet needs all the praise and love. 💚

Overall i loved this idw issue, i can always make the excuse " use more jet content!" but they did a really good job with expressing all the characters fairly. (still, i still want more jet tho :P)

i waited so long for this issue its crazy, idk why it took so long to come out digitally since i don't have the money to buy them in person.

knowing more rooms, might create an accurate layout of their blimp soon!

anyway, i got a gaming pc and not a stupid mac earlier this week, meaning that i can finally play free riders yayy!!!

[nightcolorz]

back in my day the blonde twink you’d find human au alastor paired with in strangely gorgeous ship art was human au angel dust, so whenever I come across said strangely gorgeous ship art featuring blonde twink and unnerving creole man I nod in acceptance towards the radiodust shipart I’ve long grown accustomed to as part of the fandom ecosystem. But then! I startle suddenly as I mind the tags and see the words “Lucifer Morningstar” and “radioapple” plastered before my very eyes.

I am then starkly and suddenly reminded that 2019 was five years ago and I now live in an age and culture where it is actually very popular to ship smth I remember regarding as an obscure crack ship I kind of enjoyed in a contrarian “I read a few works on a03 about it that I thought were kind of interesting and brought up cool speculative points but also were kind of pervy so I don’t talk about it” way, while the ship that once dominated the Hazbin fandom so heavily that not shipping it would make ur experience trying to find fan works that appealed to u fairly unpleasant and difficult has through canon depiction been blasted both into obscurity and shame.

Like I’m not complaining cuz I much prefer this fandom and am honestly kind of smug that my personal interpretation and theories about characterization and dynamics way back when have been proven accurate to the point that the fandom’s most popular ships now revolve in a way around my own preferences (ie: I shipped huskxangel before it was cool and theorized that they would in the unlikely circumstance that I was right bond over being slaves to overlords), but I am also shaken and a bit confused at all times, as I sometimes clutch my man baby iPad fearfully and plead to the heavens that I not awake from this dream I’ve fallen into and come to consciousness back in 2019 in my depression room watching the worst comic dubs of all time. To clarify I don’t ship radioapple even a little bit tbh no hate but I find it kind of annoying in the way I used to find charlastor annoying,, but I also appreciate it for the change in the fandom it represents. How far we’ve come etc

[danthropologie]

So I just started watching drive to survive bc a charles leclerc/carlos sainz tiktok sent me down a rabbit hole and drive to survive has led me to Daniel who I have immediately fallen in love with and I need to know what other content I can consume

first of all, absolutely fucking obsessed, i love this for you and welcome down the rabbit hole

second of all, drive to survive is a great place to start. it's not necessarily the most accurate depiction of events (for example, daniel and max were (and continue to be) actually WAYYYYYYYY closer than it makes them look in season 1 of the show), but it's a fairly good overview that gets you introduced to the elements and vibes of f1 as a whole.

third of all, where to even fucking begin!!!!! i'd honestly say that youtube is gonna be your best friend in diving deeper. daniel has his own series of vlogs on his youtube channel called no brakes, critical viewing obviously. the teams also put a tonnnnnn of stuff on there—my personal favorites is the red bull's end-of-year recap series, on the sofa (2016, 2017, monaco 2018, end of 2018). and the official f1 account also posts some good stuff too sometimes, like this where he's answering questions from kids or just best moments compilations like this one of all his wins or this one of his best radio moments. then there's also a bunch of miscellaneous interviews and shit he's done too, like 10 things, actually me, breaking down racing movies, how i build my body (that one ESPECIALLY is very very VERY critical viewing). and when i was getting into f1 and daniel specifically, i would literally just search "daniel ricciardo compilation" or "daniel ricciardo best moments" or whatever and watch anything that came up.

beyond youtube, the beyond the grid podcast, which is made by f1, has some really good and interesting interviews with him from over the years at a lot of VERYYYYYY different and critical points in his career (2019, 2021, 2022, 2023).

there's obviously a ton more but i think that's a good starting point at least!! and if anyone else has some MUST WATCH CRITICAL VIEWING for a brand new fan, more than happy to take suggestions of course!!

[pianocat939]

I'm kinda not feeling any creativity going through, so have this instead. Also, disclaimer, both parties are undefined in both name and gender so if the pronouns get confusing, I apologize.

Have some Blind Yan because I have no creative juice

Tw: murder (not super descriptive), entrapment, implications of abandonment or disowning of (not MC),

Additional disclaimer: This is an accurate depiction of a certain type of blindness, specifically someone who retains a small amount of their vision. (And I can say accurate because one of my parents is blind so aha- you can't tell me it's wrong.)

Imagine MC being like a fugitive, literally running away for some kind of crime.

And of course, they encounter some terrible weather on their never ending journey. So their miserable selves end up trying to look for a shelter. (It’s giving “food for the poor”)

They find a fairly-sized mansion on the outskirts of a town. It’s so dead and silent, they assume it was abandoned. Even if the mansion seemed so exquisite.

It’s quite dim. They notice the mansion is spotless, with not a single problem in the building at all. Until they notice a lit room down the hall.

Usually they would never approach any possible humans, but in that moment, the curiosity was too much.

In that said lit room, is a person sitting in a chair. Seemingly a library full of…odd books. Books without a proper cover, and held together by rings.

They notice the person is reading…with their fingers. Sliding their fingertips across each line.

MC realizes that the person is blind. Of course, given their current state, they’re going to take advantage of that. Just as they were stepping away from the door frame, a sudden thunder crackles, causing them to flinch and lightly bump into the wall.

Well shit.

“Hello? Is someone here?”

MC is frozen. The person stands up, their arms stretched outwards as they guided themselves through the doorway. A bit faster than MC would have liked.

MC is quick to speed walk away, until the person speaks once more.

“You’ll get sick if you go back out there. You should stay while you’re here…Even just for a few hours.”

MC paused. Does this person not fear the possible dangers? They don’t even know a fugitive is within their home.

.

.

.

And so MC finds themselves drinking tea with this blind one. Oddly not minding their little rambles.

It doesn’t surprise MC that the mansion was bought by their parents. No wonder there were so many expensive braille books. But they found it odd not a single helper was around.

"Oh I only have a cleaner come around twice a week. Everything else is managed by me."

After a few hours, the rain didn't stop at all. If anything, it got worse. MC was deciding whether or not to just suffer through the shivering wetness. Just as they were about to excuse themselves, the blind one stops them, standing up from their chair to face them...Well, trying to.

"Don't leave, just stay. You could get terribly sick from the cold.'

MC just books it. They have nowhere better to go anyway. They reveal a bit about themselves, who they were really. Except saying "wanderer" instead of fugitive. The government can't catch this fucker yet-

In the morning, the rain has stopped. MC was not only woken up by the blind one, but served a plate of food as well. Surprisingly not burnt or too much salt. It looked like a typical dish that anybody could make.

Before MC could even repack their things to leave, the blind one asks, almost begging for them to stay. It seems the loneliness bothers this person. MC is hesitant, but decides to stay.

Over the days, MC notices something. The blind one always seems to be shuffling close by, every spoken word from them making the blind one to smile and hesitantly approach in the direction of sound. It seems the person is a lot more clingy than one would assume.

They are a little amazed the blind one is able to live mostly on their own, even recognizing the light or dark spaces. Even if their movements are hesitant.

.

.

.

Ah but inevitably, the government comes knocking on the mansion door. They're quick to panic, packing up everything they could and about to bolt- until they hear a strangled scream.

They know they should run, but curiosity and maybe even worry for the blind one is too overpowering. They glance down the stairs, and witness something all too shocking.

There's three bloody bodies, their black suits tainted with a slight red. Stab wounds and ripped shirts accompanying the already horrifying scene. In the middle, stands the blind one, huffing a little. They held a kitchen knife in hand. The blind one looks around, outstretching their arms in front of them, stepping forward slowly.

"Dearie? Where are you? No need to run off now, those intruders are gone."

MC, horrified and literally so confused, tries to open the door- but it’s completely locked. Someone hugs them so tight from behind, the bloodied knife still in their hands. MC is more terrified than the time they committed crime all those months ago.

"Don't go. Don't leave me. I made sure they'll never find you. I'm useful, right?" The blind one's voice is desperate, as if they were about to cry. They drop the knife, pinging against the marble floor. "I know I can't see- but I can still do most things just fine. Don't throw me away like everyone else, don't coup me up in this cage like they did. You can stay, and I can pardon your crime."

Tears started to flow from their eyes, as they clutch MC's clothes tightly, their nails digging into the fabric. "Just stay with me. I don't want to be alone and broken anymore. I'm not helpless."

The blind one can cook, cook well it seemed.

-

(I felt like doing a bit of angst and a tiny sprinkle of violence. Bro having both parties with undefined gender or names is HARD to write. But then again this was like last minute scramble typing)

- Celina

[rozaceous]

<3 love that your jason todd tag is bbygirl btw. just finished going thru tcba again, hope you’re doing well !! <3<3<3 love that ur critical of the village and love how mariko affects her criticisms. I think it’s interesting that she considers herself weak, but nonetheless is very capable at fulcrums, for lack of a better term? applying pressure where effective, as appropriate? that’s a power all its own. <3333 love mariko thx for sharing :)))

Jason Todd is my beloved and has done nothing wrong, ever, in his life.

and you're not the first to bring up that mariko doesn't have very accurate self-perception! so now I'm gonna ramble!

part of this depiction is (my) innate imposter syndrome and fear of failure, but kicked to the max. for mariko, failure has Consequences. perhaps even CONSEQUENCES. she got placed on team7 and from then on, if things got fucked up, it wasn't just that the people she cared abt could get hurt or die. it's that she knows there's the potential for calamitous, world-ending type bs if things go too sideways. so she can't afford anything even smacking of arrogance ever.

and the imposter syndrome... part of this is that she's placing herself on a scale w shounen protags lol. scale is fucked. and she has to keep up, while knowing that she's going to get squashed like a bug if she's not vigilant.

the other part is that she's not sakura. she's filling sakura's role in canon, but sees herself as inferior to sakura in terms of ability/potential. she's kind of literally an imposter.

so on the one hand, this all leads to a fairly accurate understanding of how she measures up against certain opponents, bc not having that evaluative ability is the same as being dead lol. but it also means that she's by turns dismissive of lower-level persons/people she can easily out-maneuver (like the confrontation w danzo, she wasn't worried abt her fighting ability against him, and same against sai, even sasori to an extent), and very negative about her skills bc she always knows someone who is better and she's not wrong. those ppl really do exist!! and she's probably going to have to fight them!!

but this also means she's dismissive of how she is herself skilled and formidable. she's always using that scale against herself right? either they were small fry and not worth worrying abt and that's why she could win, or she's the small fry.

idk, I feel like my readers really want mariko to be the best at stuff, but I only gave her one superlative ability - her chakra control. the rest is mariko scrambling to be enough. not the strongest, but strong enough, smart enough, etc. and part of that is, as you note, learning how to apply leverage, bc that's how you topple someone when you're otherwise outclassed. (same thing goes for physical fights - you don't have to be bigger or stronger for something like a joint lock to work, bc those are all abt leverage.)

I personally think it's funny that what mariko admires konan for - keeping up - is the same thing she refuses to recognize as admirable when she does it.

[sonic-love-island-official]

Amy (Bio/Character design ramble)

Oh, Amy, my sweetheart <3 Her bio & design ramble is finally here ! (under the cut x)

Amy Rose is a 22 year-old small business owner from Central City. She comes onto the Island (as an og), with the intention of finding her soulmate.

Amy is a girl who just radiates sunshine. Her bright, bubbly disposition and kind nature makes her a focal point in the villa, whether she's aware of it or not. Amy is extremely intuitive, strong-willed and has a good judgement of character, leading her to make accurate decisions surrounding her connections with the other Islanders. A true force of nature, Amy has a natural aptitude for impacting the lives of everyone she meets, with her gentle consideration or with her fiery wrath. In spite of her age, Amy comes with a handful of mature, sensible values and boundaries. But that doesn't hold back her juvenile dream of a white-picket-fence future, seen through her rose-tinted glasses...

External design choices !! (visual appearance - incl. formation of base sim, references taken, makeup choices, fashion style... etc.)

I'll try my best to describe strictly the similarities between Amy's sim translation and her canon, hedgehog counterpart, as it was my sister who created her sim !

Amy, much like Sonic, has very round facial features and Amy’s sim counterpart takes on those features as well. Her face and eyes retain as much of their soft shape and when Amy puffs her cheeks (image 4), it becomes all the more prominent. Canon Amy has a much smaller, button-shaped nose than the likes of Sonic or Shadow, and I feel like that also translated well into her sim. Can I just appreciate here that her lips are so 💕💕

For her hair, keeping her bob-cut was the direction we took. A lot of people like to depict Amy with longer hair/quills to signify she's grown up (personally, this idea never sits right with me for some reason ?? Maybe it's because I'm a short-haired girlie myself), but for this human AU, and to make Amy look as close to Amy as possible, sticking with the short hair was the way to go. We directly colour picked the RGB code from her modern canon design as well. All in all, this hair really suits her and is perfect for any occasion (it's got to be one of my favourite CC hairs we have too. It's beautiful). Additionally, there's a small hint of blonde in her roots, as my sister headcanons Human! Amy to be a natural blonde.

Another detail that's included in Amy's design is her fitness. Amy's canon and sim translation are both very active and physically strong, but it doesn't quite look like it ? They both have fairly thin arms, yet could haul something ten times their own size. Due to Amy's (sim) skin overlay, she has a set of abs beneath that swimsuit and I think that is so fitting for her character. Her skin tone has pinkish undertones as well, I've noticed, and I like that that plays quite nicely into her overall design.

I've yet to mention Amy's number one talent: she suits everything. Put any item of clothing, in any colour on Amy and she looks impeccable. Therefore, she has no set style ! Of course, she gravitates towards brighter colours and cutesy items, but she's been dressed in countless different things purely because it's impossible to go wrong with her. Amy's one of my personal favourites to make outfits for, just because her model is that versatile.

Amy's makeup began very simple. A red/pink glossy lipstick, highlighter, blush and a small winged eyeliner. That has been kept fairly consistent (I don't imagine Amy wears a ton of makeup on a day to day basis on the outside) with some variations. Other times, if she's making a statement, she'll branch out and go for something more bold, but more often than not, Amy likes to keep her look quite soft and in a colour palette suited to her.

Internal design choices !! (personality, characteristics, psychology)

I've really grown to love and admire Amy's character over time, and there's some aspects of her character that shine the brightest. I want to honour that in this project; she's truly a gem. As for my sister, she's an Amy kinnie, so she doesn't need to analyse Amy's character as much as I do when it comes to writing for her.

Amy, like the others, is a mixture of her characterisations throughout Sonic media. For the most part, she's the Amy of the game continuity: a bundle of positive energy. Persistent, selfless, bright-eyed with optimism, but also sometimes hot-headed, overbearing and a little obsessive. She's so shamelessly herself that stripping anything away from what makes Amy Amy felt criminal. Some of the Islanders may try and tear her down (and some almost succeed), but her indomitable will is immortal. Three cheers to Amy being Amy because she's incredible <3

Amy also prominently exhibits behaviours more akin to her Sonic Boom and Frontiers characterisation when it comes to maturity. Amy is still young, and she makes that evident in her words, actions and ideals, but the way she navigates her relationships with others is so much more adult than even the older Islanders. She can set healthy boundaries, address the tough stuff when needed while also having reasonable expectations, despite her 'hopeless romantic' inclination.

Even so, that side of her runs deep. Amy's prone to flights of fancy. That little girl that dreams of finding true love, getting married and living happily ever after lives on within her. Amy's journey is about finding the balance between idealism and seeing things from a more realistic standpoint (which she very well knows how to do !! It's all in convincing herself that this balance is already present within her).

Fun facts / trivia :

Upon entering the villa, Amy is accompanied by her beloved soft toy, Birdie — a reference to the Flicky she assisted in Sonic Adventure.

Even though Amy isn't anyone of influential status, she surprisingly is well-connected with famous faces within the AU.

Amy used to live in an apartment in Station Square, prior to The Flood.

[yinof]

~FAKE SCENARIOS ~ just depicted in a fun way of how I believe the members would react to fics, stories and art about them

Hi, I’m a gal who just started writing. This is my first time uploading some writing! I’ve been writing some small fics and big ones on and off for years now😭 but finally decided to post a little something hehe, so if you even find vague interest in this piece l I plan to upload a couple different chapters this week and next hopefully of some new stories.

BTS Imagines “do you read fanfics or art about yourself?”

Jungkook yes, finds it funny and uses it, he got his vampire photoshoot idea from an army’s fic, and it was an explicit one. He found it both highly entertaining and funny, he almost thought about writing his own vampire or werewolf fic for armies, and thinks he could do a good job, he would upload it on weverse and pretends he doesn’t know about Wattpad or a03. It’s a generational thing, so most of the maknae have read quite a bit of fanfiction and use it to their advantage and for performances and inspiration, Jungkook loves to suggest art and fics he’s seen to the design team, he’s keen on perfecting his style to what army would love the most.

Taehyung yes, and enjoys it. When he feels I confident or down about himself he often finds fics, mainly the big ones about himself and enjoys binge reading them just in one or two nights. He finds it really interesting and most fics are fairly accurate to himself he thinks. He has often went on tumblr too though and reads one shots and low-key really enjoys them. He appreciates the dedication and wants to give back by reading them himself. He reads them in all different languages if he can translate, becasue he curious what international army’s are like. He also derives lots of inspiration for performances especially and his photo shoots and insta posts he really likes the vibe army see him for.

Jimin yes out of curiosity, he also uses it to his advantage similarly to jungkook, but he likes to see army’s creativity. He gets nervous at the idea reading about himself although enjoys that people take such interest and see him in so many different lights. He enjoys all kinds of fics from fairly explicit to slice of life, to more intense angsty stories. He thinks some armies are really talented in that department and really enjoys a good angsty, fairytale, alternate universe, dystopian hellscape reader x jimin. He also absolutely LOVES fanart and that’s his pride. So much so he got a tattoo inspired, but has also had paintings inspired by him, he absolutely loves being a muse for all these types of creativity from erotic art, to slice of life fluff.

Hobi dead no, he respects the artistry but it’s a no. Jimin actually showed him one with him, but he doesn’t get it, once again he doesn’t mind that he is written about and in a sense it makes him feel more powerful to know that people take such a keen interest in his life, style and personality, but he just doesn’t read. However… he’s been known to look at a lot of fanart and comic strips that depict scenarios and imagines, and kind of finds it funny and super entairtaining, he enjoys edits A LOT and loves the way they depict his and Bangtan’s dance, and is super keen to learn what makes armies so excited for performances. He loves the perfectionism and hardwork that goes into video edits, and low-key enjoys making edits in his own spare time of dance practices, he would be really keen to upload them to weverse too.

Yoongi, yea, and he used to write them? So he’s been reading fanfics about BTS and himself since they debuted and still for his own enjoyment, but he doesn’t just read about himself, he mainly reads about other celebrities and always has. He says he would low-key probably be writing about BTS and himself now if he wasn’t actually a part of the band. He also told jimin he would have written about him the most. And his reading and writing doesn’t restrict him to slice of life or reader x BTS, he’s totally into shipping other K-pop artists and celebs often make cameos in his reading and writing.

Namjoon likes the self expression and creativity but finds it too awkward to read too often, he also thinks people perceptions of him can go from not very accurate to highly accurate and it freaks him out occasionally, but like yoongi he’s been reading fics about BTS since debut, and often keeps himself up to date, he reads internation fics too, and uses it out of interest to see what armies are up to. He likes art a lot, and armies that have been inspired by him or his music through there own media, such as exhibitions and art. If he could, without any hassle, he would absolute love to see every exhibition inspired by by him or BTS from armies. He spends a lot of time reading about armies work and other small artists that have been inspired by the message of BTS.

Jin has read all the big ones with pride, he also reads comics of himself on webtoon, and other artists oneshots and shit, and he would love to talk about it to everyone. He totally reviews them too, and has an alt account where he comments his exact critics and finds immense humour and commenting how he ‘thinks’ jin would really react in the story. He honestly a top reader for so many blogs, and reads every the smallest webtoons or comics written about him or inspired by him and BTS. He is also very keen on directing/ writing/ designing his own webtoon and he probably has one in the works, he also really wants to make another BTS universe game, himself but it’s more like animal crossing and you can just play as the members and world build like in the seom. He also wants to make a BTS universe game but it’s just a romance like in episode and you can cheat on everybody, pick which member you want to date and be a total playa in the game. Haha.

lol so that’s it! Thank you for reading.

Fics that will be coming out soon…

‘Inner City Vessel’ - Yoongi x Reader (mature)

‘Catching Angels As They Fall’ - Jungkook x Reader (?)

I’ll try and tag them once I’ve uploaded the first chapter… however you do that lmao, see you soon!

[weaselandfriends]

Web Original, Recently Witnessed

In a previous post, I mentioned some web fiction I'd recently read. This time, I'll highlight some web original content outside of the literary sphere. While I have some experience with literature, I'm completely untalented in other mediums, so my assessment of this content is no better than a layman's. However, I still thought it worth highlighting.

1. Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History by Kevin Perjurer (Defunctland)

Perjurer has been putting out excellent documentary-style content on theme parks and their rides for years now, but while his production quality is consistently high, his videos often live or die based on the core level of interest his subject engenders. For instance, his video on notoriously awful ride Superstar Limo (with a general focus on notoriously awful theme park California Adventure) is an incredible watch, while his video on a random assortment of small, local Santa Claus theme parks across America isn't quite so compelling. He's no Jon Bois (of 17776 fame), a documentarian capable of rendering extraordinary seemingly the most banal of subjects.

Journey to EPCOT Center, however, is unlike anything Perjurer has ever put out before. It completely eschews Perjurer's typical voiceover narration style of documentary, instead stitching together music, audio of news reports and press releases, and dramatizations of Disney boardroom meetings to create a seamless narrative. Beyond the unique style and presentation of the piece, however, is the incredible artistry on display in several of the segments. Some of the biggest highlights:

12:00 to 16:14: A neon light animation detailing the vision and plan of EPCOT, which gradually transforms into a 3D map that the camera travels through

16:52 to 21:03: An impressively animated series of newspaper articles detailing Disney's struggles finding signatories for its world showcase; the video comments indicate some shots of the moving newspapers were created practically, with Lego conveyer belts

38:46 to 44:27: A puppet show dramatizing Disney's efforts to seek international sponsors

There are numerous other impressive, inventive, and creative segments as well, with unique animation and visual styles. The video rarely repeats the same trick twice.

The funniest part is that all of this is in service to a topic I would personally consider quite boring. EPCOT is such a Disney-buffs-only type of subject, neither Disney's greatest success nor its greatest failure. The incredible skill on display is all aimed toward depicting a fairly corporate, backroom-style story about men in suits trying to secure handshakes. There's an almost propagandistic feel to it, an extolling of capitalist bigwigs that feels completely at odds with Perjurer's visionary style.

In a way, it's reminiscent of United Passions, a FIFA propaganda film meant to make its executives look good in the wake of real-life controversy. On the other hand, though, Perjurer's exceedingly loving depiction is appropriate for Walt Disney's final passion project, Disney himself being a man who, for better or for worse, was as much of a dreamer and visionary as he was a cutthroat businessman. EPCOT, as the video tells you, was designed as an optimistic reaffirmation of the American free enterprise project, and as a complement to that vision Perjurer's video could not be more accurate. Unlike United Passions, this video was also made independently, not financed by Disney to make itself look good in the eyes of the public. Metatextually, it poses a fascinating question: Is there value to corporate art? Can a corporation create something of true beauty? Perjurer's video suggests it can.

2. The Mind Electric Animation - Lonely-Man's Lazarus by Daisy

Perjurer is probably familiar to many of my readers, so this next entry is more obscure, something I stumbled on almost by chance.

A friend of mine is big into animatics, which as far as YouTube is concerned is about setting music (usually Broadway or Disney musical numbers) to sketchy, storyboard-style art. I'm not a major Broadway fan in general, so these have never appealed to me much, although I've been shown several.

This one, though, rather generically titled "The Mind Electric Animation" (after the song it features), caught me entirely off guard. The first notable element is that the animation is monstrously more fluid than a typical animatic, though it retains the sketchy/storyboard art style and traditional animatic sensibilities toward character design (very "Tumblr," if I had to put a word on it). Secondly, the music, rather than being from Hamilton or Heathers or some other popular musical, is from the itself rather arcane album Hawaii: Part II by Joe Hawley (under the name ミラクルミュージカル). Hawaii: Part II is, as far as I can tell, a concept album detailing the story of a man who goes insane after his girlfriend is murdered (possibly by himself), with a strange secondary subtext of possibly being metaphorical for the 9/11 terrorist attacks. The lyrics are certainly open to interpretation.

The animatic combines these elements with heavy inspiration from a different concept album, potentially the most famous one ever made: Pink Floyd's The Wall, with specific nods to the film adaptation's animations for The Trial and Empty Spaces. There is no skimping on detail, with some sequences absolutely bursting with bizarre visuals. The ultimate result is absolutely trippy, abstract, and surreal, which are some of my favorite things for something to be.

Regardless, it's an impressive work of animation for a single person to make; the video description states it took 15 months, which is more time than I've spent on any one of even my longest works. The creator themselves is somewhat enigmatic from what I could tell, despite having a whole host of social media platforms. They seem to be working on a web comic, but trying to find any concrete information on what it is actually about was difficult. Nonetheless, whoever made this certainly has an abundance of creative vision and talent. Though I've seen skilled artists sit down to create something narrative before and flub it utterly (an example that comes to mind is Ava's Demon), so who knows if what is on display in this animation will make it into that web comic. Even if it doesn't, the animation by itself is incredible, so check it out.

3. The Skibidi Toilet podcast guys are for real by Mikhail Klimentov / Built By Gamers in general

Built By Gamers has been on my radar for some time (ever since seeing this video) as an absolute masterclass of performance art. The voice, the emphasis, the little oddities here and there, the way the two hosts so often ignore direct questions posed by one another, it creates something inimitably uncanny. This interview by Mikhail Klimentov, who I am familiar with primarily through his esports journalism, only adds new layers to what was already a convoluted question of irony and sincerity.

There are a few concrete insights, most shockingly to me that the creators of Built By Gamers (Todd Searle and Peter Armendariz) got their start in esports. But despite the title that seems to clearly suggest their videos are sincere, the actual interview is far less conclusive. For instance, this exchange:

It's evident to me that you guys take this very seriously. You feel as though there's a lot of craft behind these videos. Tell me about the stuff that a viewer won't see: the behind-the-scenes stuff that you're thinking about as you're working on these videos. Armendariz: A lot of people think it's ChatGPT. That's a big thing that people think that we do. But a lot of it is actually well crafted, through hours — like we'll spend hours on one script and really thinking about how we can get someone to react. It doesn't matter if it's them laughing, if it's them feeling sad, or them hating on one of us, our main goal in our videos is to get someone to feel something. The hard truth is that people don't realize how many hours we spend on one video to get that one line. I think that's what people don't really understand. We’ll spend like two hours on one line. Searle: Our tone, like how we talk — it’s on purpose. I have to get into character for it. Armendariz: Todd has a voice, bro! He didn't think he'd be good at telling stories, and I have him tell every single story because he has this campfire story voice. And sometimes he'll hit a line and I'm like, “No, no, you’ve got to hit it harder.” And we'll spend like 30 minutes trying to hit the line, or hitting the hook just the right way.

Followed immediately by:

People really don't know what to make of you guys. They don't have a sense of whether you're serious, whether you're in on the joke, whether there's a joke at all. I'm curious if you can clear that up. Searle: We want it to be everything you just said. We want people to think we're serious. We want camps of people who don't think we're serious. People who think that we're A.I. We kind of want to keep it, I guess, vague in that regard. Like we want you to believe… what we are — and that's OK. Armendariz: I think sometimes we'll play into different communities. So, like, some people will say, ‘You guys sound like you got brain surgery.’ So then we’ll make the most cringey video that's like super brain-rot, you know? We just kind of mess around and have fun.

So are they just messing around and having fun, or are they spending hours trying to nail specific lines just right? Are they sincerely trying to tell a story that gets an emotional reaction or are they just trolling, which also gets an emotional reaction? The biggest troll of the interview, targeted specifically at me, was this response:

Can you tell me what those writing principles are? Armendariz: I think a big writing principle that everyone should follow is, it's really important to show, don't tell.

People who have talked to me elsewhere know I am a massive enthusiast of the ubiquitous Mr. Beast, not necessarily because I like his content (though I do think he puts together some strong game show/Wipeout-style videos), but because of the story behind him: That he is an extreme, almost insufferable perfectionist, who analyzes video success and failure to a scientific degree, doing experiments with thumbnails, video lengths, et cetera, all to take detailed assessments of the results and perfectly calibrate his videos in mathematical fashion. It's a type of rigor that flies in the face of the casual, wastefully generous persona he cultivates in his videos proper.

I think many people have this innate idea that a work of art's quality is somehow tied to the effort expended to produce it. (Even I have it. Notice how for both of the first two entries in this post I mention the effort or time or craftsmanship of the work in question.) This is the kind of sensibility that causes a layman, who knows nothing about painting, to prefer a Caravaggio to a Rothko. But this sensibility is both conceptually and often practically wrong; Rothko, for instance, engineered his own paints, creating custom blends of materials (including non-paint material, like egg) to form paints of a perfectly specific color or gloss or sheen, a process often completely unseen by a casual glance at the finished work.

Subsequently, there's a reason they're called writer's workshops, that writing is so often described as a craft: It's an attempt to imbue writing with a sense of effort that makes it more palatable. The stereotype extends to the artist who sneers at quote-unquote "low" art, thinking "If I was willing to lower myself, I could create that slop and make millions too." In my experience, though, the people creating this "low" art are often expending absurd amounts of effort and exhibiting incredible skill to create something perfectly engineered for success. I, certainly, have found zero success in attempting to broaden my own audience, even when I make attempts at it; it's not something that's easier to do if you're just willing to try.

I also increasingly fail to believe in the stereotype of the miserable cynic artist who creates something they think is garbage because they know that'll be most popular. Those people don't last long; those who succeed in the popular sphere are people who are genuinely passionate about what they create, even if it looks like dreck to everyone else (including the millions who consume it).

I've been kicking around an idea for a story about Mr. Beast for some time now, exploring these concepts in even greater depth. That won't happen in the immediate future, but it's something to look out for.

[pomefioredove]

Y'know I'm actually quite curious about something... does God exist in twst wonderland?????? Because this got me thinking when that one scene in Snow White when snow white was praying to God. I actually used to think that the main seven villains is the one they worship lololol idk I'm just really confuse. Or do they actually have other religions too???

Please don't mistake this for anything offensive 😔😔😔

hello hi. religious studies major here. I'm going to try to break this down to the best of my abilities.

I would argue that it is likely that religion exists in Twisted Wonderland.

there are already exact/similar parallels to things we have in our world, i.e., the city of Paris = Fleur City. the existence of the French language. linguistics is one of my big interests and there would have to be some really insane circumstances for fucking French to develop in a world where the Romans and Gauls didn't exist (...supposedly).

so it's not actually that weird to assume that religions like Christianity and Islam developed in Twisted Wonderland.

the relationship towards the seven does not quite resemble worship of the sacred, although expletives like "for seven's sake" seem to imply that they do. if anything, the narrative/attitude around the seven makes them resemble mythological heroes (such as our Fionn mac Cumhail, Moses, and, ironically enough, Heracles). a sacred person is different from a deity.

the stories surrounding the seven, accurate or not (it's implied that some liberties were taken, or the truth was simply lost to time) are myths. in an academic context, a "myth" simply means a cultural story.

as for the sacred, I have a few different theories.

religion blatantly exists in Disney movies. as you've pointed out, Snow White prays (and given that Snow White takes place before the protestant reformation, this makes her Catholic), there's like, the entirety of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and so on and so forth.

Christianity isn't the only religion, though. Voodoo in The Princess and the Frog, Islam in Aladdin, Greek mythology in The Little Mermaid and Hercules, and various other references are also religious in nature. all of these properties exist in Twisted Wonderland, too.

it's not crazy to assume that religions similar to our own exist and are practiced in Twisted Wonderland. as I've stated in my Rollo thinkpiece, it's really really hard to separate Rollo's character from Catholicism, since Claude Frollo's character only make sense as Catholic. and then there's Hades, who is a god.

just like there's differences in culture and nationality in Twisted, there's differences in religion. there isn't one almighty God everyone believes in, because religion is diverse in nature. it's far more likely that multiple different belief systems exist, ones that inherently mirror our own. like, I couldn't even begin to try to guess fae beliefs, not only because I've barely gotten into book 7 but also because Twisted Wonderland's fae/fairy is not one I'm familiar with. I would consider myself fairly well versed on the politics, stories, and culture of the Tuatha Dé Danann, the daoine sí, etc, but the post-Christianity medieval French version of a fairy is not my area of expertise (though there's so much that goes into this discussion and I'd argue that the French fae depicted in Twisted is influenced by the older Tuatha Dé Danann I can't even sum up here it literally drives me insane. God almighty never get me talking about this I never shut up).

so. does this mean Twisted Jesus died on the twisted cross? maybe! or whatever the equivalent may be. for a world where French exists, where the city of Paris exists, in parallel to our own, it's actually not that weird to imagine religion existing, too.

I am of the very strong opinion that religion is inherent to humanity, and has existed for longer than we know now (Google the Rising Star Cave and h.naledi and the theories about their burial practices. gets me emotional every time) and I highly doubt the idea that all of Twisted is just completely secular.

I guess it's all left up to speculation, since nothing is outright stated.

[chopinski-official]

Good day, Monsieur.

I have a question, simply out of curiosity: do you know movies about yourself? If soy which one is your favorite?

Ah, Fryderyk, mon petit élève!

In my little time here in the afterlife I have indeed heard of several films of myself. For my favourite, I would choose Chopin: Desire For Love as the most accurate depiction. Or I would choose Impromptu based on the fact that as a comedy, it isn’t necessarily trying to be realistic.

Here is my opinion on some of the films about me:

Impromptu— 1991

The depiction of me by Hugh Grant is flattering physically however it is not particularly flattering when it comes to my personality. I find it offensive that I would allow myself to become entangled in a duel, let alone collapse because of it. If I am to appear weak in a film, let it be because of my ill health, not because of nerves. Although I find that it is fairly realistic when it comes to my love life, my opinions when it comes to sex… But it is less convincing in terms of the content. Many of the events in the film are made up.

Also, Grant’s Polish accent kills me.

Chopin: Desire For Love— 2002

This film I feel has the most realistic depiction of my personality. I’m played by a fellow Pole and he even looks a little like me! George also looks a lot like George, and acts a fair bit like her too. However, I find that implication of romance between Solange and I is abhorrent. She was never so impertinent towards me. The actual historical facts end up a little warped too, possibly due to the fact that 29 years of my life are condensed into 2 hours.

La Note Bleue— 1991

I appreciate that my actor, Janusz Olejniczak, is a pianist and Polish but apart from that, this film is not my favourite. He looks nothing like me and I find the salacious tales of me and Solange personally offensive. They portray my personality disturbingly. I find the strange dancing figures very off putting but I suppose you could say they represent my inner demons. And, despite everything, I do like the fact that it’s filmed at Nohant.

A Song to Remember— 1945

A very unrealistic but fun film in that the truth is so bent I might as well be someone else. I may have been for the freedom of Poland but I was no revolutionary. And again, all of the events are twisted and out of order…

[password-door-lock]

Mystictober Day 20-- Headcanon

You really like talking to Ray.

Granted, you only met him this morning, but still— he's very sweet and fun to be around, even if most of your conversations take place over text. Especially if most of your conversations take place over text, actually, with all those cute emojis of his. Just now, he's sent you that adorable clapping emoji, which always makes you smile to yourself. It warms your heart to see Ray so full of joy, even in emoji form.

MC: Your emojis are so cute, Ray MC: I always love seeing them :)

Ray sends his laughing emoji in response, and once again, you can't help but grin. 

Ray: Thank you for telling me, my MC Ray: I'll be sure to use them more often Ray: If that's what makes you happy.

He follows this up with his blue rose emoji— he's so cute. You just want to march down to his office and tell him as much to his face, but you know very well that you can't do that. For security reasons, nobody is allowed to bother Ray while he's working— you imagine that it has something to do with ensuring that the game doesn't leak, though, when you think about it, that doesn't make much sense. You're already playing the game, after all. You can only conclude that there must be another reason, though you know better than to press. Ray and his colleagues are being very generous by allowing you to stay here free of charge while you explore their game, and you have no intention of straining their hospitality.

Ray: To tell you the truth Ray: You have emojis, too. MC: What MC: Where MC: How??

You can't wait to see your own emojis... if they're part of the game, that means that Ray designed them, right? You imagine a whole gallery of player-specific emojis with different hair colors and skin tones, all neutrally designed so that anybody could relate to them. That would be such a nice touch to get people immersed in the game. Ray sends you a laughing emoji before answering your question.

Ray: Go to the emoji menu Ray: You should find them there. Ray: I hope you like them! Ray: I designed them just for you, my MC. 

If his words didn't get you to blush, then that blue rose emoji would certainly do the trick. He made special emojis just for you?

MC: Oh MC: That's so sweet of you, Ray MC: But wouldn't it take a long time?

You don't know much about animation, but you figure it would take at least an hour to make even a simplified drawing laugh or shake its head.

Ray: Please don’t worry about that.  Ray: I work very quickly! Ray: And I wanted to surprise you with something you'd enjoy! MC: Thank you so much!

You decide that you'd like to punctuate this show of gratitude with an emoji. As instructed, you locate the emoji menu, and your jaw drops at the sheer number of them. You expected maybe one or two, a laughing emoji and a crying emoji, perhaps— nothing too complicated. After all, this is just a prototype version of the game, and personalized emojis must be Ray's way of thanking you for your help— they won't actually make it into the final game. It wouldn’t make sense for too much programming effort to go into something like this. 

However, to your surprise, the emoji menu contains a sprawling gallery of portraits of yourself, engaged in a variety of activities and displaying a wide range of emotions. Not only do you have a happy emoji, a sad emoji, a blushing emoji, and an angry emoji (all of which seem to mimic your actual facial expressions fairly accurately), but you also have a laughing emoji, a confused emoji, and a pouting emoji. There is at least one emoji depicting you engaging in each of your hobbies, and two separate sleeping emojis... when would you ever use those? Upon scrolling down, you discover a second set of emojis nearly identical to the first, except that the miniature you is wearing a white shirt with a lacy collar rather than your typical hoodie (which Ray has artfully depicted in the original set of emojis). Even the RFA members and the developer himself don’t seem to have multiple outfit choices in their emoji libraries; Ray must really like you, if he was willing to devote more time to your emojis than to the ones he made for his OCs.

After a little bit of deliberation, you decide to send the hoodie-clad blushing emoji, as it's a fairly accurate representation of your present state. You are, indeed, wearing a hoodie and blushing. Shockingly, the emoji even has sound— where on Earth did Ray manage to find a clip of you sighing? Did he take it from one of your phone calls? If that’s the case, then he really does work quickly, considering you’ve known him for less than a day. 

MC: Where did you find the time to make all of these?

Ray sends his own blushing emoji back to you. 

Ray: It's a nice break from my work. Ray: Do you like them? MC: I love them!

Just because you can, you send him a smiling emoji. It may not be photo-realistic, but it really does look like you. Ray responds with his blue rose emoji yet again... Does he have any idea how cute he is?

Ray: I'm glad! Ray: I hope you use them often! Ray: Just… Ray: Only send them to me.

You send your confused emoji, complete with a perplexed little sighing noise and violet question marks above its oversized head. Ray really did go all out with these emojis. 

Ray: The game will glitch if you send them to the AIs.

His little huffing emoji is so adorable that it completely makes up for the restriction on your emoji use. It does follow that Ray wouldn't want to include the personalized emojis in the code of the actual game part of the game, since that feature probably won’t be available in the final version. 

MC: Oh, okay MC: That makes sense!

Just for good measure, you send your smiling emoji once again. Ray sends his clapping emoji in return— he really is adorable.

[mag200]

btw color picking from images can be fun but it is almost never useful for total accuracy if you want to depict the actual color that something is. also most realistic art does not use the exact hues that an object really is to portray it in a way that looks right. light and shade and color context (such as in the background) alter everything so much which is why color theory matters.

generally none of this is a big deal if you’re not going for hyperrealism, but where it does matter is with color picking for people’s skin tones. for example, too many inexperienced artists portraying a dark skinned black person will use a reference image of the person in bright studio lighting and then put them in a darker or differently colored setting, which completely changes the context and can make them look many shades lighter.

if you are going to use that method i recommend finding lots of images of a person in different lighting situations and selecting a wide range of color picks from those, and then using that palette as a guide rather than a rule, to work into whatever color context and lighting setting you’re putting them in. this can take time to get right but it’s worth the practice.

i don’t personally find color picking or premade palettes very useful in most situations & my preferred method is to set the background hues and tones first and then work up from there, so that i can fairly accurately eyeball the skin tones and other colors in a way that matches the setting.

[transamorousnetwork]

The Hidden Life Of Trans Attraction Revealed In Daring “Baby Reindeer”

Baby Reindeer is an amazing show. The Netflix Limited Series tells a true story of an aspiring comedian and trans-attracted Britisher who makes his way through his extreme (this is film making after all) self-loathing, which lives alongside an equally sensitive emotional state.

And while events that unfold in the series are intense and in some cases hard to watch (and well depicted) they ring accurate for me, both as a Transamorous person and as someone who assists trans-attracted men with casting off their self-loathing and embracing who and what they are.

In this post, I want to share experiences I’ve heard from my clients. I want to compare them to what happens in Baby Reindeer and celebrate this show as an awesome milestone, one many in the trans community have been hoping for for years.

Fiction based on truth

First, let’s get this on the record: Baby Reindeer is HIGHLY FICTIONALIZED. It’s also dark, gritty and intense. That said, I find it an extremely accurate portrayal of trans-attracted men. How can I claim that?

Because I’ve talked with many trans-attracted men. I’ve also assisted such men get over their self-hatred, accept themselves and find peace with what they are. I’m also transamorous myself.

Many of us share similar characteristics. Chief among those: either an intense self-hatred or shame. We also share extremely fine-tuned emotional sensitivity. I believe that’s because we are a blend of both male and female energies, just as many trans women are. Nearly all the men I’ve spoken to or work with try first making a relationship work with cis women. Those nearly always end in break ups or divorce, leaving the men lonely, alone and having to face head-on their trans attraction. Finally, at least some of the men at one time or another contemplated ending it all before they turned their self-hatred or shame into acceptance.

Donny, the main character in Baby Reindeer, experiences all of these characteristics. If you’ve seen the show, then, you know Donny hates himself in the extreme. But his emotional sensitivity equals his self-hatred. This explains why Donny ends up enabling Martha, the stalker. He can’t bear seeing her pain. So he reacts to her in welcoming ways. The resonance he feels mirrors Martha’s self-loathing. And hers mirrors his. In other words, they’re a perfect match.

Donny also fails at romance with his cis girlfriend although they remain close friends afterwards. Donny doesn’t try killing himself, but his sexual rampage after getting raped very much reflects suicidal sentiment. He acknowledges this in the series.

Donny’s story may be fictionalized, but parts of it ring true for many trans-attracted men.

^^Baby Reindeer is number one on Netflix. (From Nava Mau's instagram.)

Rings true for me too…

My experience mirrors some of this too. Though “hating myself” would have been an over exaggeration, I did find myself in fairly intense feelings of shame. But that shame didn’t keep me from acting out on my trans attraction, late at night in bars, through personal ads and dating sites and in random encounters.

Like Donny, I too am emotionally sensitive. These days I’d call it “intuitive”. It makes me great at what I do for clients. My feminine energy is quite pronounced too. When expressing myself to those with keen gaydar, I’m often mistaken as gay (instead of queer). 

Can you see how that last part might cause trans-attracted men to double down on their shame? Trans-attracted men are not homosexual. But being mistaken as one can cause a guy to feel really confused…which is what happened to Donny by the way. 

Relationships with cis gender women litter my history too. Not all were horrible. But all fizzled. Looking back it’s no wonder. Especially when contrasted with how it feels being with a trans woman.

Thankfully killing myself never entered the picture. Even back then, I knew I had more to do calling me. Nevertheless, it’s clear to me that my trans attraction created situations trying to get my attention. Thank goodness I listened. This blog would not exist without me having heard their call.

A supportive trans woman is gold

It’s clear then that many trans-attracted men find themselves wracked by shame. Shame plus fear create a potent cocktail. It will literally cause these men to hide in the shadows. And, since many trans women consider these men the bane of their existence, these men, like Donny, end up suffering alone.

What’s interesting: the moment Donny confesses to himself and others all he’s been hiding, that hidden life evaporates. His freedom becomes pronounced. Trans-attracted men don’t need trans women to support them. But it sure makes the coming out easier. Which is exactly what happened in Baby Reindeer when Teri showed up.

Donny meets Teri through a trans dating site. She’s the breath of sanity and fresh air in the entire series. Played extraordinarily well by trans woman Nava Mau, the character both supports and challenges Donny. In my opinion, her support goes to the extreme. I won’t spoil the story. You should watch it.

The point is, a lesson exists in the Teri character for trans women. Even though Donny doesn’t use Teri’s support to move through his shame, and eventually loses her, that needn’t be the outcome of every potential cis-trans relationship. Indeed, as I’ve written before, I know many long-term relationships between trans-attracted/transamorous men and their transgender lovers.

I encourage trans women that if they want a man, they might want to help a trans-attracted man overcome his shame. It’s not an easy task. Some men can move through the process easier than others. But ultimately, as with Teri, the choice is the trans woman’s. Not every girl’s up for that.

Revealing and soothing

Baby Reindeer offers so much illumination on the subject of trans attraction. I don’t think Richard Gadd, the show’s creator, intended it to be about trans attraction per se. The show mainly focuses on Donny’s downward spiral, which ultimately ends with upliftment, all at the hands of an intense, long-term stalking episode. Still, so many things about trans attraction get revealed in this show, I’d say it’s a must watch for anyone wanting to understand a not-well-understood phenomena happening around and within the transgender community.

More than that, watching the series can do two really powerful things. One, it can soothe the really strong aversion many trans women have about such men, through giving them a sense of emotional understanding for what these men go through. Two, it can help the men better understand and accept themselves. And all that happens in a show that is beautiful, clever, surprising and, yes, revealing.

Go watch it.

[makwandis]

could you explain why you think gil is old prussia please? and maybe how that translates into his personality and stuff not really being entirely culturally germanic? I so deeply want to settle on something but havent arrived at a conclusion. Im curious about your take :) Thank you!!!!

yes totally! so i have...many many reasons

the first reason that really made me go with this idea is that i do not like the idea of giving like. "nation status" or legitimacy to uhhh insanely violent colonizing religious orders that happen to violently acquire land. like... it just doesn't make sense and i think is quite sinister? the teutonic order wasn't a culture, it wasn't an ethnicity, it wasn't a country. it was a military order that managed to dispossess people from their land and only existed on that land for a fairly brief period of time. it was an incredibly diverse order actually, in that their forces were varied and came from across europe. i also think- okay, we give one extremist militant religious group who dispossesses people from their land a nation, what then? do the groups that are similar to that that exist in recent times then get one too? i find that pretty fucky not gonna lie. it just doesnt add up, and if it does add up it means a lot of fucked up things haha. i just ask that people apply that logic to other violent religious groups....

i should note here i do nooooot give a fuck what himaruya says or anything about canon at all. who cares! not me haha

now a lot of people usually go with the idea of gil is born as the teutonic order and he kills old prussia and the teutonic order takes over. like. sure. however it's not historically accurate. the old prussians, while they suffered a genocide, were not all killed off by the teutonic order. they in fact made up a bulk of the teutonic's military force after the prussian rebellions in the late 1200s. this is a very complex aspect of the order and it's relations with prussians and other baltic groups who also fought with the order. this, and the fact that the old prussians themselves lived on. the language did not officially die out until the 1700s due to a series of plagues that ravaged east prussia, and while a lot of people did flee the territory many remained and were just exploited peasantry- while the prussian nobles converted and took up positions within the order. there were speared "barbarian" units of old prussians within the order! this and the order itself due to such a heavy baltic influence in fact was criticized and almost condemned a few times there due to pagan influence rising in their ranks (there were reports that the order began soothsaying, doing animal sacrifices before battle and even cremating their dead- all sins in the eyes of the christians). so, the teutonic order didnt just kill all the old prussians in one day. it was a lengthy assimilation process that was more or less complete loooong after the teutonic order no longer existed in prussia. and even despite the death of the old prussian language, old prussian culture heavily influenced the culture of east prussia- the dialect itself continued to have many words from old prussian.

i'm indigenous, so for me i think this whole killing off of whole nations thing in the process of colonialism to be a pretty problematic way of addressing colonialism in this universe.... my tribe has a similar story to the old prussians, many of our nobility ended up joining with colonial powers while the peasants remained peasants labouring under colonial powers. if someone were to depict this as spain or another spaniard having murdered off my tribe and then becoming mexico or something, i think that would be insaaaanely fucked. it was 500 years give or take a few of german occupation and settlement in prussia before the language officially died out- and its been over 500 years since 1492 and indigenous people are very very much still around. tribes exist without even having their language anymore, or just barely. one thing, i think old prussian culture lived on still and maybe even to this day- just quietly. under colonial occupation, colonized people usually keep their culture very very quiet haha. i'd add another few generations on to the point where the culture is officially said to have died out, but that's just me lol. so, i just don't think its an accurate nor necessary way of depicting that history and totally glosses over the complexities of the region and gives credence to unsavoury ideas regarding the relationship between colonizing powers and colonized people, i think

SO what about gil!

well in the way i see it. he would have had to adapt to german culture. this wouldn't have even happened really during the time of the teutonic order, considering how many old prussians were in their ranks towards the end there especially. i think it definitely would have been a horrific, traumatic process for him, but over time i imagine the order would have relaxed a little with him- if they were practicing pagan practices, why would they be punishing him for it in the end there? i think the way hes treated varies from grandmaster to grandmaster lol. some were willing to work with pagans, others were completely against it. depends greatly. so, i think his prussian culture would be a very large influence on him. i dont think he'd have had reason to leave east prussia/original prussian territories for a long time either. in my universe, i have him as being pretty fucking old (around 2000), and he's an adult actually by the time of the teutonic order (i don't age him down because like, why would he be little? the heyday of the prussians began long before the order arrived in their territory.). so he remembers a lot, and continues to spend a lot of time in his original territory. i think he ends up going down to berlin to join the hohenzollerns in the mid to late 17th century, when brandenburg prussia begins the process of becoming a kingdom and actually like doing stuff lol. so then by 1701, he's in berlin, but he's very east prussian. he's very baltic i think! so it's really only.... 300, 350 years that he has been in berlin? as opposed to a 500 year period of teutonic existence and then if he has lived before (as i think he has), however long he has been alive before then. so, i think he'd remember a lot and his original culture would have a big presence in his life and the way he is

thus, while i think he can adapt to germans and the way they are, balts to my understanding are certainly not germans. east prussians were a mix of those cultures. i am not european, so i could be totally wrong about that, but i think for the sake of an immortal non human dude i can also kinda do what i want a little haha. he adapts to germans but is he ever really a german? does he consider himself that? maybe publicly, so people don't bug him about things (like my point about colonized people keep their true cultures pretty quiet), but i think its really a matter of:

you can take the man out of the baltics but you can't take the baltics out of the man.

hope that explained, i'm open to any questions haha i have MANY THOUGHTS!!! i love researching pre christian baltic culture, its super interesting, and i HIGHLY reccomend the book the northern crusades by eric christiansen, i learnt a lot from it.

also want to say, if you go with the teutonic order is gil's origin story thing, there's no shame. this is just a silly fandom. you don't have to go in depth as exploring it as me, i am just insane. this is how it's fun for me, do what is fun for you. but i think we should also remember, these are real stories, and the way we depict things can reflect our current world a lot. sensitivity is still useful i think. but. its just a dumb fuckin anime we are all taking ideas from and changing as they want. have fun kids lol