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#this is definitely one of the cooler things I’ve drawn
chokkokat-art · 2 years
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The Poe Sisters ❤️💙💚💜
Linktober 2022 - day 6 - ghost 👻
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smashjewels · 8 months
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I’ve been on that Webtoon grind and I wanna rant about one of my favorites currently
The Guy Upstairs - Rozy is a Fantastic Character and I Love Her
Note: as of writing this Episode 45 has just released, so spoiler warning for everything up to that point
One of my favorite parts of this story is the protagonist, Rozy. Her characterization at the beginning of the story makes her seem like the “normal” one. As in contrast to Hawa and of course, Adam, the reader is led to believe that Rozy is a normal person who just happened to witness a murder.
We get introduced to her as kind of a loner, but this only reinforces a cooler, more levelheaded and logical front that the reader initially sees Rozy as. She’s a kind of reflection of cool, calm, collected detectives you see in detective novels or shows.
However, we also see her as just a normal person, her relationship with Hawa and her banter with Ravi reinforces this. So we get two sides of Rozy, one that makes her relatable to the audience and one that makes her a compelling protagonist.
Her being relatable to the audience is what makes The Guy Upstairs a thriller, rather than a mystery. She’s put into a very terrifying situation, witnessing a murder, and knowing that the murderer lives so close to her. Rozy takes matters into her own hands by putting up security for herself, she’s prepared because she *knows* there is a clear and present threat to her.
but this changes so drastically when Hawa gets involved. Hawa is her own person, Rozy knows this but is also aware of how naive she can be. Rozy does whatever she can in order to protect Hawa, but Hawa’s trusting nature and Adam’s desire to mess with Rozy makes Hawa ultimately feel as if she can’t be honest with Rozy because of Rozy’s cautious behavior.
This begins a character shift in Rozy, at least to the audience. Rozy is slowly losing her control over everything happening. She can attempt to protect herself the best she can, but she can’t control Hawa’s actions. This is when we get to see one of Rozy’s major weaknesses and my favorite part about her.
Rozy *is* paranoid, she’s clearly very cautious for a reasons outside of the events with Adam. Rozy is paranoid about many things, from one event she draws seemingly logical conclusions on her own, and act accordingly to them. This works together with Rozy’s other flaw, her closed off nature.
In Rozy’s mind, her conclusion drawn from one event is a definite possibility. One that she has to plan for and go forward from there. But she doesn’t bring anyone along with her, she won’t because this is the truth she’s living in.
Due to her paranoia, she ends up isolating herself. The only person she reaches out to (Alex) for help is because she recognizes her limitations. It is because her series of events that she believes will happen are realistic in these limitations is what holds Rozy back from confiding in others.
This isolation and loneliness, with the one person she cares about so much at risk of being taken away, her fear of losing Hawa ultimately pushes Hawa away and what amplifies one of the scariest experiences when it comes to the mind.
Not knowing if you can trust yourself.
Rozy, a character whose actions have been dictated by her interpretation of events, can’t even be completely sure whether that event even happened. Rozy’s paranoia becomes detrimental to her in this phase. When you cannot trust yourself, it makes an infinite amount of possibilities that are “logical”. As someone as cautious as Rozy, assuming the worst is the safest option she can choose.
Rozy hears that Hawa hates people who see the worst in others and internalizes that as Hawa hating her, combined with the tense conversation they had previously as well as this comment being directed towards her, logically, it makes sense for Rozy to assume this. Rozy ended up losing Hawa because if everything went how she thought it would go, this would’ve never happened. But Hawa is her own person who is ignorant to the reality that Rozy sees.
Rozy has a choice to make, with Hawa becoming closer to Adam, it makes it all that much easier for Adam to kill Hawa. Rozy’s passive aggression towards Adam will not work because it only takes one night for Hawa to be gone. She either has to take matters into her own hands, trust herself and the events she witnessed, even when everyone around her tells her that this couldn’t have happened, when she has no evidence to suggest otherwise, when her situation that night was hazy, she realizes the amount of doubt she really has.
If she decides to doubt herself then she can’t trust anything anymore. She doesn’t trust other people, she can’t trust herself. In fact, if she’s wrong, she’s been the one who’s been a bad person. She alone was the one who ruined her relationship with Hawa and there’s no excuse she can hide behind. She’ll truly be broken as a person with no one to turn to, because within her own paranoid mind, she had already lost the one person who would listen.
And this is exactly the type of person that is perfect for Adam’s mind games. As he, himself, was potentially this kind of person.
I’ll elaborate on that if I ever decide to make a follow-up on this. I mostly focused on Rozy’s relationship with Hawa but her connection to other characters is also interesting and warrants a post in of itself!
This is all my interpretation of the story and characters, Rozy resonates with me a lot because I’m very experienced in gaslighting myself. I wanted to write out my thoughts and talk about stories that I think deserve more love!!
Anyway read My Deepest Secret and The Guy Upstairs if you haven’t already, both really wonderful and I may compare the protagonists of the two later on if I feel like it. I’m not opposed to talking about other webtoons either, this one’s characters just resonated with me in particular.
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marya-blackbone · 2 years
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A/N: I have played not even a whole game of D&D, so I apologise if this is total garbage (and if this is garbage for any other reason), but here’s a little Soul Mate drabble :)
“Working on a new character sheet, Henderson?” Eddie asks as he sets up his DM’s screen in the rec room one Friday. “That’s a little defeatist of you. Not giving up already, are we?” He smirks; he knows his latest campaign is a bitch – never let anyone say Eddie Munson made things easy for his little sheep – but it isn’t like Henderson to throw in the towel so soon.
“I’m not giving up! I just want to be prepared in case Nog doesn’t make it out of this next boss fight – he’s still wiped out from the last. I thought you’d want me to be prepared. Besides, I’ve been wanting to use her for ages, she just needs a little polishing up before she’s ready.”
“She?” Eddie asks, not bothering to hide his intrigue.
Dustin slides the sheet of paper up the table. There’s a drawing – probably one of Will’s – next to the unfinished stats table that immediately catches Eddie’s attention. What started as mild interest gives way to unfettered curiosity. All for one minuscule detail.
Dustin’s creation is wielding a bat studded with nails. A very familiar bat – one he’s seen every day, etched into his skin, just above his heart. The only tattoo he didn’t spend hours picking out, sketching and re-sketching, but easily the most important mark on his skin.
Greedily, he takes in the rest of the picture – the ridiculous Farrah Fawcett hair, the smattering of beauty marks covering her face – she’s pretty, but not in an overly feminine way; not drawn through the male gaze (way to go Will). She looks a lot less zany than Henderson’s usual style (Pardonme Belchin, I’m looking at you), and even though Eddie lives for Henderson’s crazy imagination, he already knows that this character is going to be his absolute favourite.
Eddie’s mouth is dry when he asks, “This–” he glances at the top of the character sheet, “–Queen Stephanie wouldn’t happen to be based on a real person, would she?”
Dustin smiles, “You bet she is. Coolest person I know,” he says. And Eddie, well, Eddie doesn’t doubt that for a second.
Still, that doesn’t stop him from assuming an expression of faux affront, clutching a hand to his chest dramatically. “You wound me, Henderson. Who could possibly be cooler than yours truly?”
It’s a miracle he’s not tripping over himself literally to wring the answer out of Henderson; a true feat of self-control. But maybe that’s not the worst idea in the world when the kid hedges like Eddie’s isn’t hanging off his every word; like his heart’s not racing like a hummingbird’s.
“Why do you wanna know? So you can key his car or something?” And as much as Eddie would like to take offence, that is actually straight out of the Munson playbook.
But the confirmation that OG Queen Stephanie is a guy is the final nail in the coffin. “Or something,” Eddie agrees faintly. Definitely something – definitely not whatever Dustin’s thinking, however.
But he doesn’t have the guts to explain that, so Dustin refuses to elaborate at all for the rest of the session, the butthead. Eddie feels zero remorse when – coincidentally – later that evening, Nog dies a gruesome death to bloodthirsty cultists. And if that just so happens to accelerate Stephanie's debut, Eddie certainly had no hand in it.
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alarrytale · 4 months
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Outfit anon again… I should’ve added, what do you think his outfits will be for these festivals? I didn’t mind his outfit for the Mexican festival with the red pants and black tank top. Even though the pants are not my favorite, it wasn’t as horrible as some others. But damn those bulky shoes. Helen needs to burn all of those for his own good. I kind of would love to see that light blue Dirty bunny shirt come back or a band t-shirt with either jeans or yes I do like the jorts also. I liked another one of his casual outfits where he wore jorts and I think a Def Leppard t-shirt if I remember correctly.
Dare I say I liked some of his ltwt outfits as a whole, better? Yes it’s great he discovered tank tops again, but he just pairs them terribly with his pants and shoe choices. Maybe add some designs to those tanks too. Why am I begging for those blank pants back again when last tour I wanted him to bring out some colored pants? Careful what I wish for I guess lol.
I tried to like the outfit Louis wore last night, but to be real, when he wears the matching sets it looks like a football uniform wannabe, or an overgrown toddler. And I agree with you, it definitely wasn’t rainbow colors. It’s a far cry from his edgey look he seems to want - yes, a band tshirt or something like that is cooler. I’ve even seen better summer looks from the guys in Love Island. But, in true fashion (pun intended), our Louis is all over the place.
Hi, anons!
Louis would be raging if he knew we think the Love Island guys have better looks 💀
I don't know what he's going to wear for the festivals in Europe? Depends on the weather? I think we'll see more of the same. Stone Island wrinkly pants and a tank i guess. I don't think we'll see a big change until the start of his next era (if he's even going to change...). I would love coloured pants. I just want something that's fits his body, that doesn’t look like he's ready for a work out or a football match. I want him to dress up. I want him to wear a white t-shirt or tank where he's scribbled lyrics or quotes or drawn things with a black marker. We fans would be engaged for days and it would be super interesting and unique. Orrrr he could let Krystle paint on a shirt! That would be cool! Or he could wear 1D merch, i wouldn't complain lol.
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bestledsupply · 1 year
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Do Led Lights Attract Bugs
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Hi! If you've been wondering if LED lights attract bugs, it's a legitimate question. After all, there are so many different kinds of lighting out there that it can be hard to choose the right one for your needs. But don't worry - I'm here to shed some light on this subject and help you figure out if LED lights will make your home or business more buggy than usual. In this article, we'll explore what kind of insects are attracted to LED lights and discuss ways to limit bug activity around them. We'll also look at how other common types of lighting compare when it comes to bug attraction. So let's get started and find out once and for all: do LED lights really attract bugs?
Types Of Insects Attracted To Led Lights
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I'm sure you've noticed that bugs seem to be attracted to light. But what about LED lights? Do they attract the same kinds of insects as traditional bulbs? The answer is yes — and more. Certain types of bugs are actually drawn to LEDs due to their unique properties. When it comes to color, some research suggests that different colored lights can have an effect on bug activity. For example, blue and white lights may draw in moths, while yellow or green lights could repel them. That being said, it's still important to exercise caution when using pesticides near LED lighting sources because they can pose a hazard if used too often or incorrectly. It's clear that certain insects are drawn to LED lights, but this doesn't necessarily mean you should avoid using them altogether. With proper safety precautions in place, such as keeping the area well-lit and avoiding excessive pesticide use, you can enjoy your outdoor space without worrying about pesky critters getting in the way!
Factors That Affect Insect Attraction
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I'm interested in exploring the factors that affect insect attraction. One of the key components is the color of the light – I've heard that some colors can attract bugs more than others. Intensity is another factor – the brighter the light, the more likely it's going to attract insects. And the wavelength of the light also has an impact – certain wavelengths can be more attractive to bugs than others. So it's clear that light color, intensity, and wavelength can all play a role in insect attraction. I'm curious to know more about how these factors work together. Light Color
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When it comes to light color, the hue of the bulb is incredibly important when it comes to attracting bugs. For instance, cool blue and green colored lights are not as attractive to insects like they would be with warmer hues such as yellow or orange. This makes sense, given that many natural sources of light have a warm tone to them. If you’re looking for an insect-resistant lighting solution in your home, then cooler colors will definitely help reduce their presence. However, if you want to attract beneficial pollinators like bees and butterflies, then opt for something with a warmer hue instead. Different insect species also tend to respond differently depending on the wavelength emitted from these different colored bulbs too – so keep this in mind! For example, some moths are more attracted to shorter wavelengths found within the UV spectrum while other flying insects may be drawn towards longer wavelengths emanating from amber or red-colored lights. Therefore, there isn’t just one single type of bug that can be affected by any particular light source; rather each individual species will react differently based on its own visual preferences and capabilities. It's clear that light color plays an important role in determining which types of bugs are attracted to certain sources of illumination. While cooler tones such as blue and green may work well at keeping pesky critters away from your space, opting for something warmer such as yellow or orange could potentially draw in beneficial pollinators instead! Light Intensity When it comes to the intensity of light, too much can actually be a bad thing. Light pollution has been linked to a variety of issues such as bee colony decline and other negative impacts on insect populations. Too much artificial light at night can also disrupt their circadian rhythms, which could lead to decreased reproduction rates in some species. Additionally, spectral composition is important when considering how bright or dim a certain light source may appear to insects. For instance, ultraviolet radiation emitted from fluorescent bulbs is invisible to many bugs but still produces enough heat energy that they are drawn towards them nonetheless! Overall, it's important to consider both the color and brightness of any given lighting solution if you want to ensure optimal results for attracting (or deterring!) specific types of creatures. Light Wavelength It's also important to consider the wavelength of light when it comes to insect attraction. Different insects react differently to different wavelengths, so understanding which ones are best for your project is key. For example, ultraviolet radiation from fluorescent bulbs can be invisible to many bugs but still draw them in with its heat energy. Meanwhile, LED lights provide a more efficient form of illumination that can produce various amounts and types of light depending on their design - giving you an even greater degree of control over how certain species may respond! This means that if you're looking for ways to reduce light pollution while still getting the most out of your lighting system, then LEDs could be a great option. Ultimately, taking into account both brightness levels and color temperatures will help ensure that insects find what they need without any unnecessary disruptions.
Comparison Of Led Lights To Other Lighting Types
I've heard a lot about LED lights and how they are energy efficient, so I wanted to know if they also attract bugs. From what I can tell, the answer is yes – but not necessarily more than other lighting types. In fact, you may be surprised to learn that fluorescent bulbs actually attract significantly more insects than LEDs do! When it comes to environmental impact, LED lights make sense since their energy efficiency means using less electricity overall. This in turn reduces the amount of harmful emissions from power plants generated for electricity usage, which helps protect our environment. Furthermore, because LEDs don't generate as much heat as traditional light sources like incandescent or halogen bulbs do, they won't cause air conditioning systems to work overtime in order to cool down hot interior spaces. Overall, while there's no denying that LED lights will still draw some bugs due to their brightness levels at night time, they certainly aren't any worse than other alternatives when it comes to attracting flying pests. The real advantage lies in their many benefits regarding improved energy efficiency and reduced environmental impacts compared with other lighting types.
Ways To Reduce Bug Activity Around Led Lights
I have been wondering if LED lights attract bugs, and the answer is yes. Bugs are drawn to any type of light source, but there are several ways that you can minimize their activity around LED lighting fixtures. One way to reduce bug activity is by minimizing glare from the fixture itself. This can be done by using opaque materials in front of the fixture or by angling it away from areas where people gather outside. Another effective method for reducing bug activity near LED lights is to choose alternative types of lighting fixtures whenever possible. For example, installing a motion-activated floodlight in your yard instead of an array of LED lamps could help keep bugs away without sacrificing illumination quality. Additionally, solar-powered garden lights are great options since they don't produce any additional heat which could attract more insects. Overall, being aware of how different types of lighting affect bug populations is key when selecting outdoor fixtures. Utilizing strategies like minimizing glare and choosing alternative fixtures can go a long way towards keeping your family and friends comfortable while enjoying time outdoors at night.
Benefits Of Using Led Lights Despite Insect Attraction
Despite the fact that LED lights attract bugs, they still have many benefits. For starters, LED lights can save energy and money in the long run. In comparison to traditional incandescent bulbs, LED lights use approximately 75% less electricity and last 25 times longer - reducing replacement costs as well. Additionally, LED lighting technology is much better for the environment since it does not contain hazardous materials like mercury, lead or halogen that other light sources may include. Another benefit of using LED lights despite insect attraction is their vibrant colors. Unlike traditional lighting options, LEDs are capable of producing vivid color temperature shifts which allow them to be used in a variety of applications such as retail displays, festive decorations and theatrical production sets. Furthermore, because LEDs emit very little heat compared to other lighting technologies they also reduce cooling needs inside buildings where air conditioning might otherwise be needed to keep the area cool enough for comfortable living or working conditions. The advantages of switching from traditional light sources to LEDs far outweighs any potential bug issue. With improved efficiency comes increased savings on utility bills and decreased carbon emissions from burning fossil fuels, making this switch an even more attractive option for homeowners and businesses alike.
Frequently Asked Questions
  What Is The Most Effective Way To Reduce Bug Activity Around Led Lights? Reducing bug activity around LED lights is an important consideration for anyone looking to enjoy their outdoor lighting. To be most effective, you should start with using shades or covers on the LED lights themselves. This will help keep bugs from being attracted to the light in the first place and limit how much of a draw they are. Additionally, you can spray your surrounding area with bug repellent or use other products designed to keep bugs away. Doing both of these things together should give you the best chance at reducing any bug activity near your LED lights. What Type Of Led Lights Produce The Least Amount Of Insect Attraction? LED lights come in a variety of types, and the type you choose can make all the difference when it comes to bug attraction. For instance, some LED lights have a light spectrum that is more likely to repel bugs than attract them. You'll want to look for LED types that produce less ultraviolet radiation since this can be especially attractive to insects. Ultimately, choosing an LED light with a different color temperature or one with a specific light spectrum could help reduce insect activity around your home. Is There A Difference In Insect Attraction Between Different Colors Of Led Lights? Yes, there is a difference in insect attraction between different colors of LED lights. Light sources that emit high levels of ultraviolet rays (UV), like white LEDs, can be more attractive to insects than lower UV emitting light sources such as yellow LEDs. However, the type and amount of bugs attracted will depend on the intensity of the light source and its distance from any potential attractants. Are Led Lights More Energy Efficient Than Other Lighting Types? LED lights are a great way to save energy and reduce your environmental impact. They use up to 90% less power than traditional lighting types, making them much more energy efficient. This means that with the same amount of light output, you will be using significantly less electricity. In addition, they also last longer than other forms of lighting - up to 25 times as long! So not only do LED lights help you save money on electricity bills but they’re also better for the environment in the long run. Do Led Lights Produce More Heat Than Other Lighting Types? LED lights are a great choice when it comes to energy savings and light intensity. They not only use less electricity than other lighting options, but they also produce less heat. LED lights don’t give off as much thermal radiation, meaning that your house won't be getting any hotter from them. So if you're looking for an efficient way of lighting up your home while keeping it cool at the same time, LED is definitely the way to go!
Conclusion
Overall, LED lights are a great choice when it comes to reducing bug activity. They produce less heat than other lighting types and use significantly less energy. Plus, certain colors of LEDs may be even better at keeping bugs away. With all this in mind, if you’re looking for a way to cut down on pests around your home or business, consider switching to LED lights! I personally have switched to LED lights in my house and garden, and I can attest that the results have been fantastic – no more annoying buzzing insects getting into my space! The money I save from lower electricity bills makes it a win-win situation too. So why not give them a try? You won't regret it! Read the full article
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The Hell he’s been through;
The Knights have no clue of the suffering Merlin has endured… until one day, they do.
TW: Scars, panic attacks, nightmares, PTSD except they don’t have a word for that, non-graphic description of scars/injuries
Part 2(final part)
It was the height of summer, the bright blue sky was utterly free of clouds and the noon sun beat viciously down onto the training field.
Only the central six knights, their King, and Merlin braved the exhausting heat, the other knights had chosen to train later in the day, when it was cooler, so the field was empty of anyone else. Merlin was sat cross-legged in the shade of a tree, jacket and neckerchief removed (not that Arth- anyone noticed. Definitely not.), though his sleeves were still pulled low over his wrists and his tunic was fastened high up his neck. Despite that, the lack of an extra layer definitely displayed Merlin’s surprisingly broad shoulders more than normal (another thing that Ar-no one noticed). 
The knights were shirtless, despite Merlin’s warning of sunburn, sparring semi-playfully with wooden dummy swords, the type squires train with, and no armour.
Merlin rubs absent-mindedly at the dull, almost gone ache in his ribs, just below his armpit, as he rolls his shoulder. The injury, if it could even be called that, had never been serious and hadn’t even hurt that much when he’d gotten it on the last patrol (a stray mace swing from a bandit just clipped him), at least, not compared to other injuries he’s sustained over the years, but it was an annoyance that made his shoulder stiff on occasion.
Unfortunately, the movement caught Arthur’s eye, and the King frowns, stopping his observation of Elyan and Mordred’s spar to lay a crudely hidden concerned gaze upon his manservant. 
He’d fussed endlessly when he found that Merlin had bandaged his own torso after the fight, demanding that he let someone help next time; Merlin just rolled his eyes at that. The other knights had wisely chosen not to comment, knowing that the attack, and Merlin’s subsequent injury, had already put Arthur in a bad enough mood; though admittedly, the only thing stopping Gwaine from ruthlessly taking the piss out of Arthur’s mother-hen tendencies all the way home was Percival harshly clamping a hand over his mouth and pushing him away.
Merlin looks up to see Arthur staring at him, and the King quickly covers his concern with a look of annoyance when the manservant raises an eyebrow:
“If you’re not going to do anything useful Merlin, get up here, you clearly can’t be trusted to even cower effectively, so you’re going to have to learn to defend yourself.”
Merlin’s eyebrow just rises higher as the rest of the knights’ attention is drawn to the conversation. Lancelot and Mordred hide knowing smiles, well aware than Merlin was more than capable of defending himself, if he really needed to. Gwaine went to open his mouth with teasing grin, though quickly pouts when Percival punches him on the shoulder, and Leon and Elyan smirk at each other before moving their amused gazes to Arthur.
When Merlin doesn’t move, just stares at him disbelievingly, Arthur rolls his eyes and gestures at the half-empty rack of wooden swords:
“Come on, Merlin, up on your feet, grab a sword.”
Merlin just snorts in amusement and shakes his head, settling back against the tree trunk even more:
“Absolutely not. I can handle myself just fine, thank you very much.”
The knights (bar Lancelot and Mordred of course) raise their own eyebrows. Gwaine snorts out loud, stepping up next to Arthur and dropping an overly-friendly hand on his shoulder, much to The King’s displeasure:
“I know you can hold your own in a tavern brawl Merls, but that’s not the same thing as facing bandits and assassins and shit. Princess is right, it might be worth it for you to at least know how to use a sword.”
Arthur turns an accusing gaze on Gwaine, shrugging his hand off as he says:
“And I presume all the tavern brawls Merlin has apparently been getting into are your fault?”
Gwaine grimaces slightly before shrugging with a smirk, and Merlin hides his laughter with a cough before inserting:
“Entirely his fault. Gwaine starts the fights, promptly passes out, and I have to finish them.”
Arthur laughs incredulously; Mordred has to hide the angry clench of his jaw and Lancelot has to hide his sorrow when Arthur replies in a taunting tone:
“I’m meant to believe that you are regularly winning Gwaine’s unfinished fights, am I?”
Merlin shrugs in mock defeat, a grin on his face:
“Believe what you want, Sire, I’ve faced worse than you lot and come out singing, I don’t need training.”
Arthur resists the urge to smirk at the appealing way Merlin manages to make his title sound insulting, and he instead raises his eyebrows:
“You’re not getting out of this, Merlin. I can’t have you bruising yourself every time we leave the city.”
Merlin takes in a deep breath, settling a disconcertingly assessing gaze on The King for a few moments before he sighs and stands up, walking towards the equipment and picking up a sword before turning back to Arthur:
“I suppose you’re right, I doubt any of the other servants would be willing to put up with you if I got too injured. Who would you like me to spar, My Lord?”
Arthur scoffs and shakes his head as the others step back, looking upon the whole scene with fond amusement, bar, once again, Lancelot and Mordred, who are looking an odd mix between concerned and proud. They know that Merlin is capable of more than he lets on, even with a wooden blade.
“You can’t spar with any of us, Merlin, that would be far too dangerous. We’ll start with some basic moves, and then maybe we can move on to a slow, choreographed spar.”
Merlin twirls the sword expertly in his hand, and he’s vaguely away of Gwaine nodding approvingly and Leon raising an eyebrow out the corner of his eye, though he pays them no mind, raising an eyebrow of his own at Arthur:
“Surely starting with a simple spar will tell you my exact skill levels so you can tailor the lessons? You need to know how crap I am before we start.”
Lancelot hides a snort behind a hand, knowing full well that Merlin is just trying to goad Arthur into letting the servant show off his skills without too much effort beforehand. Or without giving Arthur the satisfaction of thinking that he was the one who taught Merlin how to fight. Thankfully, Arthur takes Lance’s snort as a teasing one aimed at Merlin, as opposed to what it really is, so waves him into the ring with a smirk.
Merlin just rolls his eyes, moving to stand opposite his best friend and muttering, just loud enough for everyone to hear:
“Fine, but I’m not taking my shirt off, I’m not as arrogant as you lot.”
Lancelot widens his eyes as Arthur freezes, dread growing in his stomach at the knowledge that The King would take that as a challenge. Arthur turns slowly, a shit-eating grin on his face, and Lancelot grimaces as Arthur claps his hands together:
“Right! I wasn’t going to mention it, but you do have a point, Merlin, if you are to train, you must train as one of us. Come on, tunic off.”
Elyan, Percival, and Gwaine just laugh, but Leon rolls his eyes exasperatedly, and Mordred and Lancelot frown in concern. Neither of them have seen Merlin’s scars in their entirety before, but knowing about the servant’s secret second life had definitely made them more observant than the others, and they had seen hints of old injuries here and there. That’s not even mentioning the times he’s shown up in their chambers, bloody and bruised and in need of treatment, but not wanting to worry Gaius.
Merlin just flushed and stared at him indignantly and Arthur’s teasing grin grew:
“Don’t be shy, Merlin, I’m sure whatever horrific mole or ugly birth mark you’re ashamed of isn’t that bad.”
Merlin rolls his eyes, stepping away from Arthur when he moves towards him. The demand to de-robe, even partially, had immediately put him on edge, and he had gone from playfully annoyed to genuinely irate in a split second. He crosses his arms over his chest protectively when Arthur gestures at him demandingly:
“I don’t have a weird mole, Arthur, you Clotpole, but unlike you lot, I’m not all that keen to show off my old scars.”
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. Merlin was hoping that mentioning his scars in passing would appeal to the knights’ warrior sides, would make them sympathetic to his… shy-ness. It did not. It just made them laugh, even Leon, and they all began to point out various scars they had on their chests and back, remarking that he couldn’t have worse than them. 
Gwaine twisted to the side, patting a pink, jagged circle halfway down his back, a grin on his face:
“This beauty is from when I propositioned a lovely fella who was, apparently, already taken. Man’s wife smashed her bottle on the counter and damn near took my eye out with it.”
Elyan cackles at Gwaine’s story, pointing to a perfectly square burn on his shoulder-blade:
“Yeah, well at least you didn’t fall back into a red hot brand at the ripe old age of fifteen because a girl smiled at you.”
Merlin’s back-up plan, which was sneakily sulking off whilst the knights compared their most embarrassing scars, was cut short basically immediately when he heard Arthur yell out:
“Absolutely not, Merlin, I’ve already told you that you’re not getting out of this. Tunic off, spar Lancelot.”
Merlin huffs, annoyed, feeling rather like he was backed into a corner, and Mordred walks forward, to be between him and The King, quietly saying:
“You don’t have to Merlin, just fight with it on.”
Arthur narrows his eyes in suspicion, but before he can say anything, Merlin squares his shoulders and looks at him defiantly, dropping his sword to the floor as he begins unlacing his tunic, his words coming out harshly, his tone dark:
“No, no it’s fine. The King wants to see my scars, and we all know that The King gets whatever he wants.”
The smiles melt rather quickly off the knights’ faces as Merlin speaks, and Arthur flinches slightly at his tone, starting to realise with just a little guilt that maybe this wasn’t funny anymore. He opens his mouth to take it back, to tell Merlin that he was only teasing and he could keep the tunic on if he really wanted to, but before any words come out, Merlin is gripping the collar of his shirt, pulling it over his head swiftly and screwing it up before tossing it to the side, not once breaking his stare on the now pale King.
Arthur lets out a sharp breath at the patchwork of scars that cover Merlin’s chest, and he’s vaguely aware of the various low cries and gasps of outrage coming from the knights behind him. There are so many, some are large and some are small, some look to be from clumsiness, but others look like they should have been fatal. Arthur’s eyes can’t focus on just one, he’s barely taking in each scar before his gaze is drawn to another, and then another, and then another; it’s a little overwhelming, and it’s only when he starts to feel a little woozy that he remembers to breath.
When he finally comes to the conclusion that his brain isn’t going to able to process this for a while, he looks up to Merlin’s face, instead taking in his resolute expression and hard eyes:
“Merlin, what… what happened to you?”
Merlin raises a slow, mocking eyebrow before breaking his statue-like stillness and picking his sword up again, turning to face a distraught looking Lancelot. This movement only reveals the second mosaic of scars covering his back, but he speaks over the next round of gasps and muffled curses, his tone still unbearably dark as he gestures Lance to get into position:
“I told you, I’ve faced worse than you lot and come out singing.”
The knights are so distracted by the myriad of scars covering Merlin’s torso that it takes the servant’s first harsh, well-aimed blow with his sword to break them out of their stupor. They watch the ensuing spar with morbid fascination, finding that not only can Merlin hold his own, he’s winning. Lancelot loses his breath and rhythm much quicker than Merlin does, and the fast-paced spar only lasts around three minutes before Merlin lands a strong punch to the centre of Lance’s chest and the knight stumbles back in shock, lowering his sword just enough for Merlin to step forward and trip him up.
The scarred servant’s chest rises and falls deeply, but not too rapidly as he lowers his sword and offers a hand down to the beaten knight. Lancelot takes it with a slightly shocked smile, patting Merlin on the shoulder as he stands. Merlin flinches away from the touch, no one misses it, clearly not too fond of people touching his bare skin, and Lance drops his hand rapidly, frowning only briefly before he smiles again:
“Bloody hell, Merlin. I knew you were good, but not that good.”
Merlin gives him a strained smile, grateful for the distraction. Everyone sees the moment Merlin’s mask goes up again; he gives Lance a smug grin and twirls his sword once again as he shrugs mockingly:
“I’ve been watching you lot train for ten years, and I’ve been in a few sword fights in my time. I picked up a few things.”
Arthur finally reacts, scoffing as he shakes his head in disbelief, scars momentarily forgotten:
“There’s no way that you can- that was a fluke.-”
He looks smug as he says it, like he’s figured out some great secret, and Mordred lets out a low, annoyed growl; no one notices thankfully, but Merlin shoots him a quick frustrated line across their mental link:
“Please try not to antagonise him any further.”
Mordred looks to him, keeping his face blank as he nods almost imperceptibly. Lancelot and Gwaine look openly disapproving of Arthur’s assertion, but Leon, Percival, and Elyan look almost convinced. Arthur nods decisively, picking up his sword once again and waving it in Merlin’s direction:
“-My turn. And once I’ve beaten you, you’re going to tell us about all of… that.”
Merlin’s eye twitches, but he doesn’t say anything, just nods slightly as he holds a placating hand out in Lancelot’s direction when it becomes obvious that his best friend is going to start trying to defend him.
Arthur takes Lancelot’s place in the ring and Merlin grips his sword tightly, his shoulders tense and his face showing only mild annoyance, despite the anger that Lancelot and Mordred were sure was simmering under his façade. At Arthur’s nod, Leon reluctantly counts them in, and the match begins.
This one is somehow even more fast-paced, though no one is surprised. The last ten minutes had caught Arthur extremely off-guard. An off-guard Arthur is a grumpy Arthur, and a grumpy Arthur is, unfortunately, still the type to take his frustrations out on others. Arthur wasn’t good at dealing with his emotions, meaning the disturbing mix of horror, guilt, and anger at Merlin’s scars, slight… shock, (because he refuses to call it anything else) at his deceptively strong physique, and surprise that apparently his servant can take out one of his best knights without all that much effort, all together have The King bursting with adrenaline. 
He throws blow after blow, but Merlin’s defence is incredibly strong, and Arthur has yet to land a hit anywhere other than the opposing sword. After a couple of minutes, Merlin switches styles, and Arthur almost trips when he realises his servant has, in the space of a second, gone from fighting like Arthur, to fighting like Leon. The knights notice it as well; Gwaine lets out a low whistle and Elyan smacks Leon on the shoulder, pointing incredulously at a sequence of complicated footwork that usually only the First Knight can manage so gracefully. Apparently Merlin can do it too.
Arthur adapts to this quickly; Leon was his sparring partner most often, meaning that he was accustomed to switching between their styles, and they were the most similar fighters in all the group. 
Another minute passes, and the pair still don’t slow, seemingly unbothered by their dumbfounded audience and the sweltering heat, and this time Merlin suddenly starts fighting more like Gwaine. Instead of staying on the defensive and trying to trip Arthur up, he goes on the attack, landing heavier and heavier hits as The King barely manages to defend himself in time.
Merlin is quickly growing tired, his stamina not nearly as good as Arthur’s, but The King grows complacent, even with the vicious pace, certain that he just has to wait Merlin out. He was wrong. Arthur finally gets an attack of his own in but Merlin dives to the side instead of blocking it, rolling and coming up to Arthur’s left before the blonde has time to regain his balance and turn around. He freezes in place when Merlin touches his wooden sword to the side of Arthur’s neck. He can feel it shaking, but it’s undoubtedly a killing blow, and when Merlin drops the sword to the floor in favour of bending over, one hand on his knee and the other on his side again as he pants, Arthur turns around faster than he thinks he’s ever moved before:
“How the fuck did you do that?”
Merlin is vaguely aware of the knights all clapping and shouting encouragement at him, but he doesn’t look up, just waves dismissively in Arthur’s direction:
“I told you, I’ve been watching you lot train for years. It’s easy to imitate you after a little practice.”
Arthur just stares at him in disbelief, but Leon hands the servant a water-skin, ripping his gaze from the whip marks on his back with clenched teeth before schooling his tone and face into something more friendly:
“Merlin, you switched styles twice in as many minutes… you beat the best swordsman in the Kingdom after already being tired from another spar, that’s… that’s incredible.”
Merlin drinks the entire skin as Leon speaks, looking up with another playful mask on his face:
“Well believe me, I’m so sore I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it again.”
Merlin’s smile drops when he realises everyone is back to staring at him, more specifically, his scars. He steps away from the curly-haired knight, who furrows his brows in concern and resists the urge to reach a comforting hand out to him. Merlin crosses his arms over his chest defensively, hunching his broad shoulders slightly as he frowns at the floor.
Lancelot quickly throws his tunic to him, and Merlin scrambles to pull it on as quickly as possible, but before he can even get his arms through the right holes, Arthur snatches it away, a stern, angry look on his face. Though every one of then can see the badly hidden concern as well:
“No, you agreed to tell us.”
Merlin makes a move for his tunic, but Arthur jumps out of his reach. The servant huffs, annoyed and close to tears all of a sudden as he petulantly replies:
“Actually, you said once you beat me, I had to tell you. I won.”
Arthur raises an eyebrow, taking another step back:
“I’m happy to go another round if you are, Merlin?”
Merlin glares at him angrily for another few moments before completely sagging, staring at the floor with sad, tired eyes as his arms drop to dangle at his sides. Arthur and the knights are completely taken aback at Merlin’s sudden change of disposition, though it heartbreakingly strikes them as less of a change and more of a... reveal. A reveal of some kind of sadness that’s been there all along. How did they not notice this??
Arthur’s breath hitches and his tight clutch on Merlin’s tunic loosens slightly as he all but whispers:
“Merlin... who did this to you?”
Merlin finally looks up at him, letting out a humourless chuckle as he rakes a hand through his sweat-dampened hair roughly:
“Does it matter? Most of them are dead, I-”
His eyes narrow and his voice lowers. The knights hear it nonetheless:
“... I made sure of that .”
Arthur lets out a huff of frustration, not bothering to hide the desperation in his eyes as he pleads:
“Please, Merlin, you’re my... subject, you’re meant to be under my protection. And don’t lie, none of these are more than eleven or twelve years old at most and you got here ten years ago, so they happened in Camelot, under my watch. Please, Merlin.”
Merlin sighs, walking towards the tree’s shade once again. For a moment Arthur panics, thinking he’d pushed Merlin too far as he turned away, knowing that if this conversation wasn’t had now, their relationship would never be the same. But before The King can say anything, the servant slumps back into place against the tree trunk, sitting cross-legged again and biting his lip as he looks at Arthur expectantly.
Before anyone else can move, Mordred and Lancelot take the places either side of Merlin, sitting protectively close. Lance gives Mordred a pointed look, to which the younger knight nods before settling a blank expression on the side of Merlin’s head. Merlin doesn’t look back at him, but pats the knight’s knee as the corner of his mouth turns up briefly in a barely-there smile.
Arthur narrows his eyes, but stores that odd exchange in the back of his mind to deal with at a later date before sitting across from Merlin; the other knights look to each other, worried, before settling in the empty spaces to complete the circle. The group is silent for a while, all staring at a statue-still Merlin who in turn is staring at the grass in front of him; he doesn’t move even when Lancelot brings his hand into his lap, stroking his thumb over the servant’s knuckles absent-mindedly.
It’s Percival that finally breaks the silence, asking in a quiet voice:
“What happened, Merlin?”
Merlin looks up suddenly, as if he had forgotten he had company, taking in a deep breath and tightening his grip on Lance’s hand. He gulps before once again running his free hand through his hair, shrugging slightly as he mutters:
“I don’t recall all of them in perfect detail, just ask about... whatever catches your eye I guess, and we’ll see what I can remember.”
The knights all nod, looking to each other expectantly, no one really wanting to go first. Eventually Leon clears his throat, his voice gentle:
“Why don’t we start with the whip marks on your back?”
Merlin nods, grateful that they were at least starting off with the non-magical injuries. He doesn’t make eye contact with anyone as he speaks, his voice croaky and quiet:
“The newer ones are from Cenred, from a few years ago. He wanted information and I spat at his feet and told him to fuck off. He... he didn’t take too kindly to that.”
Gwaine lets out a quiet curse, and Arthur sits up straight, saying in a crackingly authoritative voice:
“Merlin, if anyone ever tries to extract information from you again, you give them anything. Everything. We’ll deal with the fall-out afterwards, it is not your job to withstand torture.”
The other knights nod approvingly but Merlin just looks up at The King with a raised eyebrow:
“Like hell. I can put up with a remarkable amount, I’d never sell Camelot, or you, out. Never, Arthur.”
Arthur huffs and resolutely ignores the tears gathering in his eyes, but Elyan beats him to the mark:
“That’s not... you shouldn’t have to put up with anything Merlin, it’s not necessary. You just... keep yourself safe. We’ll worry about everything else.”
The other knights nod again, but Merlin scowls and tenses even further, even as Lancelot squeezes his hand comfortingly:
“I’ve been through literal hell, multiple times, in order to protect my home and the people that are important to me. I’m not going to stop that just because it makes you lot uncomfortable, and you have no right to tell me to it’s not my place.”
Everyone looks desperate to argue, but they can’t deny that, after what they’ve seen today, in the last half a candle-mark only, Merlin is evidently a lot stronger than they’ve ever given him credit for. Both physically and mentally. Leon just gives Merlin a small smile and nods; he’s the only one here who has known Merlin just as long as Arthur, and he may not be as close to the younger man as The King or Lance or Gwaine or Mordred, but he’s seen his loyalty in action several times over the years:
“You said the newer ones were from Cenred. You’ve been flogged more than once?”
Merlin nods at the knight, grateful for his understanding and change of subject, even if said change of subject was back to his scars. His expression turns slightly guilty as his gaze moves to Arthur, and The King has a feeling he’s going to feel incredibly terrible at whatever it is Merlin is about to say:
“The others are from... uh.... Uther.-”
Arthur takes in a sharp breath as the tears he had just about managed to get under control gather again. The other knights just look angry, bar Leon, who, though miserable, looks as though he sort of expected it:
“-He didn’t like me very much.”
Arthur whispers his response:
“When? Merlin, when and why did my father have you flogged, and how did I not know about it?”
Merlin tenses his jaw, going from guilty to angry in a split second, snapping his response:
“Why do you think?!-”
Arthur recoils and Merlin closes his eyes briefly as he takes a deep breath, looking back to Arthur with a blank mask and speaking in a monotone voice:
“What did you think he would do every time I took the blame for you missing a meeting or a meal or a training session because you were entertaining a woman or pissing about with your knights? I had to walk into the council room and apologise for your absence because I slept in or I forgot to tell you or I sent you on a hunt on the wrong day. Uther was in the habit of burning people and chopping off an alarming number of heads, did you really think I would get away with it punishment free??
Arthur goes pale as a sheet and his hands tremble with the understanding. He shakes his head slightly as he looks to his lap, ignoring the tears on his cheeks as he murmurs:
“Merlin I am so sorry, I didn’t... I didn’t think... if I had known I would have duelled him in the damn town square to protect you.-”
Arthur looks up sharply, wiping his face clean as he settles an assessing gaze on his servant, ignoring Gwaine’s murderous glare as he slowly continues:
“-... which is exactly why you never told me, isn’t it?”
Merlin shrugs, a small smile on his face:
“You may never admit it, Arthur, but you were protective of me, even then.”
Arthur flushes slightly, before frowning again and shaking his head:
“You should have told me, it’s my job to protect you.”
Merlin raises an eyebrow, smirking slightly:
“I think we’ve already had this conversation.”
Arthur huffs and narrows his eyes again, good-naturedly this time, and Merlin just rolls his eyes before seeming to sag again, speaking quietly:
“Come on, next one.”
Elyan raises his hand slightly before pointing to the centre of Merlin’s chest:
“How the hell did you get a burn like that?”
Merlin tenses, rubbing a hand over the roughly circular, pink and white scar in the centre of his chest. The flesh looked melted in places, white scar tissue spider-webbing out from his sternum, beginning to fade just before it stretched around his sides, and stopping a few inches above his naval:
“Witch threw a fireball at me. Hurt like hell, but there was quite a lot of adrenaline at the time so I didn’t really notice the pain until later.”
Gwaine raises an eyebrow, evidently trying to control his anger as he asks, in a shaking, though forceful, voice:
“And what were you doing fighting a witch powerful enough to throw fire around?”
Merlin stops rubbing at the scar when Lancelot tugs his hand and Mordred mutters “You’re going to hurt yourself, Merlin.” in his head, curling his hand tightly in his lap instead and speaking slowly, as if he were choosing each word individually:
“Only Leon and Arthur were in Camelot for that. Arthur was dying from the Questing Beast bite, I... went to the Isle of the Blessed to speak to the followers of the Old Religion. There was said to be someone there who had power over life and death and I... Arthur was dying, I had to try.-”
Arthur’s eyes widened at Merlin’s words, mostly the mention of such a power, but stays silent, nodding at him to continue:
“-But the Old Religion requires balance, a life for a life,-”
Leon releases a deep breath, looking to the floor at the implication with his eyes closed, and Arthur lets out a whispered whimper, knowing the depths of Merlin’s loyalty:
“-I offered my own in exchange for Arthur’s. She, Nimueh, that is, accepted,-”
Arthur opens his mouth to say something, he’s not sure what, but before he can yell about Merlin’s self preservation, he notices the darkness on his dearest friend’s face and his voice catches in his throat. Merlin stares at the floor, his face drawn and angry and his voice stormy and clipped:
“-but she tried to trick me. I didn’t appreciate that, we fought, she died. Her life for Arthur’s: the deal was done.”
An audible gasp goes up around the circle, and Percival, who is (other than Merlin and Mordred of course) the most well versed in Magic Info, responds breathlessly:
“Merlin... Nimueh is a High Priestess, The master over Life and Death, she’s very very powerful.”
Merlin looks up at the gentle giant sharply, his gaze unforgiving and his tone harsh:
“Yeah, and she’s also very very dead, because she pissed me off.”
Percival gulps and lowers his gaze, but Arthur seems to have missed everything the two of them just said as he stares blankly at his servant:
“You’d barely known me a year, and I’ll admit that I was an arse back then, and you tried to give your life for mine. Why?”
Merlin looks at him curiously, not responding for a few moments as his anger dies down and his pride grows:
“I had it on good authority that you would become a Great King one day. It only took a little squinting to see it, you were a good man, a man I was, and still am, prepared to sacrifice myself for. You were an arse, yes, you still sort of are, but I have faith in you, always have, always will.”
Lancelot and Mordred smile fondly at him as the other knights stare dumbfounded, but Arthur clenches his jaw, ignoring the shaking in his voice as he says:
“Well, I... I forbid it. You are officially forbidden from sacrificing yourself for me, legally.”
Gwaine perks up slightly:
“Out of curiosity, do we all get the same-”
Arthur interrupts him with a forceful, though slightly amused:
“Shut up, Gwaine. And no, you’re a knight, your entire job description is to jump head first into danger so I don’t have to. I have every faith that you’ll die for me one day.”
Everyone lets out quiet snorts at that, bar Gwaine of course, who looks jokingly affronted before he nods and shrugs, quietly muttering “Yeah, fair enough,-”, the rest of his sentence (”especially considering you’re in love with him but not any of us.”) goes unheard and unchallenged.
Merlin chooses not to respond to Arthur’s demand, but everyone knows that’s his way of not committing to anything, knowing full well that Merlin had never listened to Arthur’s orders before, and sure as shit wasn’t going to start now.
“Next one.”
Merlin’s face had fallen slightly, knowing he wasn’t going to get away with explaining only two sets of scars, and Gwaine asks next, his eyes being drawn to Merlin’s gesturing hand:
“The red bands around your wrists and neck. They look like burns, but not very deep ones. How did they scar if they weren’t deep?”
Merlin looks down at the scars on his wrists, resisting the urge to absent-mindedly claw at the one he knows sits low on his neck. They’re about two inches wide, pale pink and almost impossible to see in the dark but impossible not to see in the light of the noon sun, even sat in the shade. The edges were clean cut and perfectly straight, and Merlin winced slightly at the memory of his magic being contained in such a way.
He looks around the circle, speaking easily. Though it was painful, it was no where near the worst Merlin has ever had, and even if he couldn’t tell the full truth, it felt sort of nice not to have to hide these ones:
“Some sort of enchanted chains, they drained my energy, made me sick and tired, but the magic in the metal sort of... stung, I guess. I don’t really know. I’d been captured by Morgause (is Morgana not mentioned in this entire fic but still Good? Yes.) again and I suppose she didn’t want to take any chances.”
Everyone looks shocked at his casual admission, and Leon is the first to break the tense silence:
“When were you captured by Morgause?”
Before Merlin can respond, Arthur pipes up incredulously:
“Again. You said again. Merlin, how many times have you been kidnapped by Morgause without anyone realising? How many times have you been kidnapped in general?!”
Merlin winces slightly, speaking in a slightly defensive tone as he stares at Arthur as though the answer is obvious:
“Arthur... I’m The King’s personal manservant. I have the power to overrule the Steward and the Housekeeper if I wanted to; as far as servant’s go, I have the most authority, even more than some low level nobles, especially when it comes to running the citadel. I’m sort of... a big deal. I have access to pretty much any information I could want, even more than this lot-”
He gestures to the knights around the circle. Mordred and Lancelot look a little proud once again, Leon is staring at Arthur, shocked that The King didn’t know this, and everyone else stares at Merlin, only just realising that... Merlin was right. None of them have considered it before, but he practically runs the castle.
“-most of the time, and I’m the only one who knows every single state secret, simply from my proximity to you and your council and your paperwork. That is rather... desirable to people like Morgause, people who want to attack Camelot.”
Merlin purses his lips awkwardly as everyone stares at him blankly, but Gwaine is the first to break the silence:
“... and we’ve just been letting you walk around, unprotected.”
Merlin raises as eyebrow:
“I think we’ve already established I don’t need protection.”
Arthur huffs and throws his hands up awkwardly:
“Well you obviously do, if you’re getting kidnapped so often. When even was this?? You haven’t disappeared for a while, and we haven’t had any trouble from Morgause in months.”
Merlin’s face falls, and the knights are taken aback at the reappearance of the... cruel darkness in his expression:
“Believe me, I know. She... won’t be bothering us any longer, I wasn’t fond of her repeated attempts to kill me or you so I... took care of it.”
The knights go pale at Merlin’s casual admittance of killing yet another High Priestess of the Old Religion. He smirks into his lap briefly until Lance once again squeezes his hand, as if reminding him of the mask he should be wearing. Arthur stares at his servant and long time friend, struggling to reconcile the clumsy ideal he has in his head with this... hardened, tortured protector:
“How? Nimueh and Morgause... just... how??”
Merlin’s eyes slowly move up to meet Arthur’s gaze, and The King gulps at the assessing way the servant tilts his head:
“Playing the role of clumsy rural idiot can be a little demeaning sometimes, but it also means that people tend to underestimate me. They think I’m an easy target, and by the time they realise I’ve played them, it’s too late.”
Arthur recoils slightly, and Merlin once again changes dispositions, shrugging casually and smiling easily, his tone light:
“You can get away with a remarkable amount when people think you’re stupid.”
The circle lets out an in-sync breath. All of them knew that Merlin wasn’t stupid by any stretch of the imagination, but they didn’t realise just how smart he is. None of them would admit it, but Elyan, Leon, Percival, Arthur, and even Gwaine on some level, still subconsciously considered Merlin “just a servant” in the back of their minds. At least... they did. 
(Not that that old thought process made them think any less of him, they just didn’t think of him as complicated, as a warrior.)
Merlin takes a deep breath, knowing that his friends would never see him in the same way, but sort of hoping that that was a good thing, gesturing vaguely to the circle once again. Arthur asks the next question, touching his hand to the back of his own neck softly:
“There’s a cut on the back of your neck. It looks deep, like it was reopened over and over, what is it?”
Merlin grimaces slightly, wiping his free hand over his face in exhaustion as Lancelot squeezes his other hand, and Mordred pats his knee comfortingly:
“That one was a few years ago, courtesy of Morgause again. She put something called a Fomorrah in me-”
Percival gasped slightly, harshly whispering “Gods.” under his breath. Arthur spares him a quick glance, making a mental note to question how his knight seems to know so much about sorcery at a later date:
“-so she could try to make me kill Arthur; it sort of... controls you. Makes you only able to focus on whatever instruction you’re given when it’s first put in you. Gaius kept having to cut it out of me, it wouldn’t stop re-growing until we killed the rest of it’s body, and that was with Morgause somewhere out of the city.”
Arthur looked a little outraged, hiding the worry of “I now know that Merlin could kill me without any trouble at all so how the fuck am I alive?”. Apparently he doesn’t hide it well; Merlin gives him a comforting smile and shrugs his shoulders slightly:
“I fought the compulsion pretty well, kept coming up with increasingly complicated assassination plans instead of just... stabbing you in your sleep or something.”
Arthur goes to respond, but he’s interrupted by Leon loudly cursing, his eyes wide as he stares at Merlin with flushed cheeks:
“I just... gave you a crossbow!! You said you were going to kill Arthur and I thought you were joking and I let you walk out the armoury with a crossbow and a handful of bolts!!”
Merlin chuckles, a blush of his own rising as he responds, rubbing the back of his neck again:
“Yeah... I don’t really remember it, but Gaius and Gwen filled me in on what had happened. To be fair, it’s kind of flattering that you never considered that I was the assassin, despite the repeated attempts being made on Arthur’s life and the fact that I admitted it to your face.”
Leon stares at the floor with wide eyes, seemingly trying to process the fact that he had pointed a would be assassin in the right direction, muttering something along the lines of “oh my Gods oh my Gods oh my Gods” over and over until Elyan awkwardly patted him on the back, breaking him from his embarrassed horror.
Arthur clears his throat, staring at Merlin with an almost unreadable expression:
“I did wonder why the attempts just... stopped?”
Merlin understands the question in his tone and nods slightly before replying:
“Hmm. Gaius and Gwen figured out it was me, found a way to paralyse the thing in my neck until I managed to get back to Morgause’s little lair and kill the main body.”
Arthur nods distractedly. How many times had this happened? “This” being something entirely ridiculous and/or incredibly dangerous right under his nose.
Percival clears his throat and Merlin looks to the nervous man, nodding at him to ask whatever it was that was on his mind, despite his growing discomfort:
“There’s... on your back, it looks like a stab wound but... worse. The veins around it are black and it looks painful despite it’s obvious age and... well... it looks like a Serket Sting, but it... it can’t be, right?”
Merlin tenses, back to looking as exhausted and scared and as ready to bolt as he had at the beginning of the conversation. Lancelot squeezes his hand again, tightly this time, and Mordred takes his other to stop him from clenching it too harshly, murmuring:
“You don’t have to, Merlin, not this one.”
Arthur clenches his jaw at the knowledge that two of his knights had known about this. Had known the collage of agony on Merlin’s body, had known what he’d been through and done nothing. Hadn’t prevented it, hadn’t brought it to Arthur, hadn’t protected him. But equally, with how protective and loyal and secretive Merlin is, and how heartbroken the two of them had looked when Merlin first took his tunic off, they likely hadn’t known the full extent of damage.
Merlin just sighs and shakes his head, sensing the curious stares of the others before rising to his knees and turning around, running a shaking hand over the scar briefly before dropping his hand to his side again. The others stare, astounded. They’d only caught brief glimpses of it before, but now they could see it properly it was undoubtedly a Serket Sting. 
The deep puncture mark on his lower back had closed up, but the skin was still sunken in slightly, red and angry looking with hints of purple towards the middle. Percival was right: dark veins, as if permanently poisoned, stretched out from the centre of the wound, dipping below the waistband of his trousers and fading about halfway up his back. 
After a few moments, Merlin turns around again and sits back down, placing his still shaking hand back in Lance’s lap without prompting. Arthur’s one-word question is whispered and cracked, and no one judges him for the tears in his eyes; most of them have tears of their own gathering and falling at their friend’s pain:
“How?”
Merlin gulps, not looking up as he leans slightly into Mordred’s shoulder. The young knight presses back, knowing how fond the servant is of warm pressure, not minding the sticky sweatiness of their still uncovered torsos in the noon heat:
“Morgause again. She got annoyed with me always ruining her plans, getting in the way. Left me chained up in the middle of a nest of... in the middle of a nest.”
Leon takes a deep breath, rubbing his eyes harshly and sniffing before asking, his voice strong despite the slight waver:
“How did you survive that? I’ve... I’ve seen men get stung by serkets and it’s not... nice.”
Merlin breathes shakily, his mouth open slightly as he stares at the floor, memories flashing through his mind and the scar on his back twinging uncomfortably. Again, Percival was right, despite it’s age, it did still hurt. He takes one last deep breath, clenching his eyes shut tightly before looking up at the curly-haired knight, not quite making eye-contact:
“I uh... a lot of screaming, and the help of an... old friend. I was out of Camelot for a few days whilst I recovered, my friend didn’t fancy being executed for helping me, for just existing.”
Arthur furrows his brows but the others, bar Leon, nod in understanding, looking only slightly guilty and not looking to The King as he asks:
“What do you mean? If someone has found a way to cure a Serket sting then they most definitely wouldn’t be executed for it.”
Elyan snorts and Mordred and Lancelot frown at the floor as Merlin stares at Arthur with poorly concealed contempt:
“Arthur... the cure for a Serket sting has been around for centuries, it just involves very strong, very complicated magic. I didn’t fancy dying in absolute agony, and my friend didn’t fancy being executed for the act of saving my life so we stayed away from the city whilst he treated me.”
Arthur looks at his servant, dumbfounded and confused, and the knights stay silent in their awkwardness. Leon, a lifelong citizen of Camelot, is the only other person to look surprised at Merlin’s explanation, though he nods after a few moments, conceding that it... makes sense. Of course it does.
Mordred frowns when he notices Merlin’s knee begin to bounce up and down slightly, but it’s the way he gulps and tightens his grip on Lance’s hand that has the two knights begin to properly worry. They share a quick look, obviously agreeing on something, before Mordred takes Merlin’s other hand and settles a soft touch on his vibrating knee whilst Lancelot looks to Arthur:
“I think we’re done for the day. This has been... a lot.”
Merlin is getting paler by the second and Mordred can sense the man’s distress, shooting Lance a desperate look before subtly trying to shuffle closer to Merlin, who leans even further into his touch. Arthur doesn’t seem to notice, looking annoyed at Lancelot’s assertion and rolling his eyes before moving his gaze back to Merlin’s quivering form:
“No, Merlin’s suffered and I need to know why. There are mace wounds on both your shoulders, I remember one, but not the-”
Arthur is interrupted by a low whine from the back of Merlin’s throat as he thumps his head back against the tree, eyes still shut tightly. His words out come quietly and broken, as if it were a struggle to breathe, let alone speak:
“Can we please stop now?”
Mordred ignores Arthur, moving to kneel in front of the servant whilst Lancelot glares at The King. Arthur just huffs slightly, though he obviously completely underestimates the distress his friend is in, looking concerned, but not letting up:
“Merlin, we’ve barely gone through a third of them, we can’t stop-”
Lancelot lets out a low growl, letting go of Merlin’s hand and moving towards Arthur, glaring as he says:
“Arthur, we need to stop. Now.”
The young King looks taken aback, though the argument is stopped in his throat when Mordred’s quiet voice interrupts him:
“Merlin, you need to breathe.-”
He peers around the young knight as best he can, but Lance’s still vicious glare stops him from moving too close. Mordred brings one of Merlin’s hands up, pressing it against his chest and continuing his soft instructions:
“-Copy my breathing, alright? Can you tell me where you are right now, Merlin?”
The knights all stare on in horror at Merlin’s pale skin and ragged breathing, staying still in their places when Lancelot gestures at them firmly. It’s Merlin’s next word, cracked and whispered, that trigger another round of tears to gather in their eyes:
“C...cave.”
Mordred shakes his head slowly and Lancelot curses under his breath, kneeling back next to Mordred and retaking Merlin’s other hand, holding it between his own securely. Mordred’s soft voice floats in the wind, and if the knights weren’t so distracted by their friend’s pain, they would think it sounds almost magical:
“No, you’re safe, Merlin. Think, listen, feel. Can you try to tell me where you are again?
Merlin shakes his head roughly, his still-shut eyes not stopping the tears from squeezing out as he flinches, strikes of lightening-like agony shooting out from the scar on his lower back. Lance worries his lip between his teeth, rubbing one of his hands up and down Merlin’s shivering arm; a nod from Mordred has Lance speak, his words soft and low despite the waver in his voice:
“Merlin, you know where you are, and me and Mordred are right here with you. You need to open your eyes buddy, tell us where we are.”
Merlin’s breathing instantly seems to calm a little at Lancelot’s voice, and he cracks his bloodshot eyes open, immediately sighing when his blurry gaze lands on the canopy above him, whispering:
“Tree... sky... Camelot.”
The others can see Mordred let out a relieved sigh, and they force themselves to relax slightly. Merlin’s body sags again and Lance frowns, but the young servant’s stuttering words as he stares blankly up into the tree interrupt any reassurance he could have offered:
“Please, I can’t... I don’t... please don’t make me-”
Lance stills his hand on Merlin’s shoulder, not even paying the slightest bit of attention to anyone else as he replies:
“No one’s going to make you, Merlin, we can carry on another day-”
Arthur’s interrupted “But-” is quickly shut down when Lance turns around to glare at him, a sharp “-I said we’re done for the day.” sent his way.
Merlin flinches again, the pain in his back getting worse and worse and making it harder to keep a grasp on reality, so damning the consequences, Mordred presses a hand to his forehead, closing his eyes and he mouths the words to a sleeping spell as quietly as he can. Thankfully, everyone’s attention is on the glaring contest between Lancelot and The King, so no one immediately notices the way Merlin falls forwards into Mordred’s arms, not until he nudges Lance in the leg and mutters:
“He passed out. We should get him to Gaius, he needs proper rest and pain medication.”
Lancelot nods his head firmly, back to ignoring Arthur and the others as he moves to Merlin’s side, pulling his arm over his shoulder as Mordred does the same on the servant’s other side. Mordred’s eyes scan over the knights, searching for whoever looks the most likely to help without question; his gaze stills on a terribly worried looking Gwaine:
“Gwaine, run ahead to warn Gaius, tell him that Merlin had a really bad episode and then passed out.”
Gwaine gulps but nods, gathering his tunic in quick hands and putting it on haphazardly as he sprints back to the castle. Mordred and Lancelot adjust their grips, standing and bringing Merlin up with them as they turn in the direction Gwaine had ran and begin the careful journey back to the citadel. The knights follow behind them closely, hastily dressing themselves and desperate to ask questions, but knowing that now was not the time. Elyan jogs ahead of them to open doors and clear a path, and Percival had grabbed Merlin, Lancelot, and Mordred’s tunics as Leon put all of the swords away before catching up.
Thankfully they don’t come across many people, though Lance and Mordred still do their best to conceal Merlin between them, knowing that he would be distraught if anyone else saw his scars. They make good time to Gaius’ chambers, and they find the Physician preparing a few strong pain potions and sleeping draughts as Gwaine paced.
Gaius looks incredibly worried, but unsurprised, and Lance and Mordred carry Merlin up to his room without prompting; the sick feeling in Arthur’s stomach tells him that they’re practiced at this. The King goes to follow them, but they kick the door shut behind them so they can have at least a little privacy whilst they settle their friend in his bed. They leave the covers off, knowing that he’d just overheat or kick them off in the nightmares that they know are coming. Lance nods knowingly at Mordred, and the younger of the two moves swiftly back into the main room, shutting the door behind him again softly, avoiding eye contact with anyone bar Gaius, even as Percival hands him his tunic.
The elderly Physician raises an eyebrow, and Mordred answers the wordless question quietly, though not quiet enough for the other knights to not hear him:
“Not yet, but soon, he’ll definitely need a sleeping draught to get him through it. It was his back, so he’ll need the strongest pain one you’ve got.”
Gaius nods, picking up two of the many concoctions he had prepared, not reacting to Arthur’s desperate questions, leaving the conversation to Mordred:
“What are you talking about? Get through what??”
Mordred sighs and frowns slightly, unable to get over all of his anger at the King for pushing Merlin so far:
“The nightmares. He always gets them, especially after an episode that bad.”
Arthur recoils, just a little horrified, but Gwaine beats him to the mark, asking in a shaking voice:
“Episode??”
Mordred moves his gaze to the worried knight, a little more sympathetic to the man he knew was more loyal to Merlin than he was to The King:
“Flashbacks, panic attacks. Merlin has been through... a lot. Chronic pain or difficult conversations sometimes trigger a sort of... breakdown, he struggles to differentiate between memories and reality. Normally he can just wait it out with a little help. When it’s really bad we put him to sleep, it’s the only way to stop him from hurting himself accidentally.”
Everyone looks horrified at that, their focus on Mordred rather than Gaius, who was stealthily ascending the steps to Merlin’s room, potions in hand. Arthur is the first to break the tense silence:
“How long? How long as he been getting these episodes, and why the hell did no one think to tell me?!”
Mordred moves his harsh gaze back to The angry King, glaring at him when his voice rose:
“With all due respect, My Lord, lower your voice. Merlin needs rest, he needs to not be disturbed.”
Arthur looks annoyed, though still heartbroken, but nods slightly, almost whispering as he responds:
“You didn’t answer my questions. How long, and why wasn’t I told?”
Mordred sighs, looking to the floor briefly as he crosses his arms over his chest . After a few moments of considering his answer, he finally looks up again, suddenly appearing exhausted and resigned as he replies softly:
“I don’t really know. He didn’t tell us, we just... found out. It took us a while to convince him to explain it properly and let us help. He didn’t want anyone worrying or treating him like glass; it doesn’t happen very often at all, and this is... this is the worst one I’ve ever seen.”
Arthur frowns and shakes his head slightly, but it’s Leon that speaks next:
“Why not tell us, at least? What if something had happened and you weren’t with us? We wouldn’t have known what was wrong.”
Mordred takes a deep breath and shrugs, nodding slightly, obviously aware that he couldn’t tell them about his and Merlin’s mental link:
“We tried telling him that, but he wouldn’t have it. We were maybe one more conversation away from convincing him to tell Gwaine or Guinevere, but I guess that’s not necessary anymore.”
Arthur pushes down the twinge of jealousy that Merlin had never even considered telling him, but it obviously shows on his face; Mordred scowls slightly, clenching his hands to try and cover his annoyance. Before either men can say anything, Lancelot comes back down from Merlin’s room, leaving Gaius with the young servant:
“It’s starting, Mordred we need to go, everyone else, out.”
Percival throws Lance’s tunic to him as the knights move to the door, albeit reluctantly, but Arthur doesn’t move, glaring down at Mordred angrily when the younger man stops him from going into Merlin’s room:
“He’s my manservant, I want to be there when he wakes up.”
Mordred narrows his eyes, and Arthur kicks himself for never realising how much Merlin meant to him before now, but before the knight can say anything, Lancelot steps up next to him, answering in his stead:
“No, me and Mordred will be there, that’s all he needs. You need to go, My Lord.”
Arthur gears up to argue, to pull rank, squaring his shoulders and snarling slightly, but an angry Lancelot is something he’s never seen and never had to deal with before, so he’s far too surprised to say anything when the knight interrupts his posturing:
“I said no, Arthur. He has to pretend in front of you. You’ve already done this to him,-”
He gestures angrily to the door to Merlin’s room:
“-he needs to not tense up and stress out immediately upon waking up.”
Arthur steps back slightly, but clears his throat, pushing through the slight heartbreak and guilt to argue:
“Oh, and he doesn’t have to pretend in front of you two?”
Mordred rolls his eyes, giving Lancelot a pointed look before stalking up to Merlin’s room, leaving the older knight to deal with the angry King. Lance clenches his jaw and lets out a harsh breath, looking away briefly, as if trying to stop himself from saying anything cruel, before giving up and glaring back at Arthur:
“No. He doesn’t. Because we, and Gaius, are the only people who actually know the first thing about Merlin, and he trusts us. He needs space, and time to heal, and comfort, not the demanding presence of a King whose already pushed him too far, who treats him like shit and forces him to think he has to hide who he is. For God’s sake, Arthur, can you please, for once, think of anyone but yourself.”
Arthur widens his eyes, and though Lancelot looks a little like he regrets what he said, he doesn’t back down, nodding to the door behind Arthur and not moving away until The King steps back again. Arthur takes a deep breath, turning to exit the Physician’s chambers before the knight could see the guilt on his face and the tears in his eyes. He leaves without looking back, ignoring the gaggle of knights waiting worriedly in the hall and stalking straight to his chambers, only just managing to shut the door behind him before the tears finally started falling.
Back in Merlin’s room, the servant thrashes in his sleep, whimpering despite Mordred’s comforting whispers in his head, Gaius’ hand in his hair, and Lancelot’s soft lap as a pillow. 
This... was going to be a tough one.
~
The End of part 1!!!
This was legit supposed to only be one part buuuuuuut we can all see how that went. Part two will follow on really quickly, but it was getting far too long to leave all as one 😅
I hope y’all enjoyed it, link to part 2(the final part) at the top!! :)
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agathaloseshermind · 2 years
Text
Season 7 transformations
I’ve been procrastinating both cause I’m a lazy person but also I hate these ones so I am not excited lmao
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WHAT AM I LOOKING AT
I’m horrified I hate it. This transformation is why I became nicer to Neo Enchantix.
I don’t quite get the activation but considering I watched bits of the episode where they earn it, Faragonda somehow has artifacts that let them travel through time which they do to save the digmoles and earn Butterflix after blasting the beast who trapped them down.
..............sure
Ignoring the part where if Faragonda had access to these magic stones in the first place why didn’t she use them way before during times like when Domino fell, the curse of Sirenix was created, Darkar kidnapped Bloom and Valtor started destroying everything to name a few things this stone could’ve been used for. I googled why they needed this transformation and it says 
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H O W??????
Bloomix is the power of the DRAGON FLAME, is a spark of the power that CREATED THE UNIVERSE and was so powerful that it couldn’t be taken from Bloom in Season 6. You’re telling me this random former fairy poacher IS IMMUNE?????? It’s reason to exist is honestly awful given they already had a nature fairy who can do all that nature stuff. Oh and the fairy of fucking animals if Flora didn’t cut it. I’m not someone who cares much about Roxy always found her meh but she was flat out robbed this season. 
Design wise the girls do look good, the pink on Bloom looks solid though I do wish she wasn’t in pink given Stella and Musa are in pink and look better but is this really the best they could come up with for a nature themed transformation that also relates to butterflies? Like I’m just saying butterfly wings are very unique and each girl could’ve been based off different butterflies depending on who they are. Like Bloom as the leader can keep the monarch butterfly but the other girls should get unique butterflies. I’m not sure what butterflies to assign each girl but like there’s tons of butterflies the designers could’ve used also the wing design is strange to me given how butterfly wings actually are and how much cooler they look, like just google butterflix redesign and you’ll see the girls in actual butterfly wings and different clothes which make them look much better. The redesign of this transformation I like most if this Bloom one here and then the rest of the girls could’ve followed its base idea too or do the redesign here with wings I similarly like too. Yes it looks similar to Harmonix but I mean i
Ultimately my dislike of the design is not only cause its uniform because as I said in previous posts I don’t mind uniformity if I enjoy the design already but Butterflix just doesn’t do ENOUGH with how much it has to work it and like with Cosmix, you kind of just have to guess the girls’ elements based on colors because they don’t have anything to set them apart with their element.
Transformation sequence wise.... I don’t think I need to tell anyone why it’s bad but I guess I have to for this post but the sequence of the girls transforming is zooming into their face - they get the dress - they turn around - boom wings. It’s so bland and again there’s no individualization for each girl just butterflies. The meme dance is horrible, dancing in Winx Club has always been awkward due to how their bodies are drawn and its just exasperated here. Also it just kills the excitement of the new mood because why are they suddenly dancing. They just defeated a beast and saved a species which earned them a shiny new transformation and rather than excited I’m left with a wtf did I just watch feeling. Also the song is meh, its not a banger and not horrible but eh Im just not getting into it.
Rating wise its 3/10, I heard that it cant hurt anything from nature which sounds good but also makes the girls pretty helpless in a lot of cases. The only reason it gets 3/10 is cause the designs are kinda cute and I can’t bring myself to be too harsh on it though its definitely my least favorite of all the transformations.
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Onto Tynix now
The way they earn makes sense enough, makes sense given how vast magic is that magical creatures can grant transformations so check mark on that though it immediately loses some of that check when its use is for the girls to shrink down and enter the mini worlds. Like seriously guys Enchantix already did that, like that it lets them bond with their fairy animal more though (unless I’m misunderstanding mini worlds and they’re not literally shrinking down to go into a place, they’re teleporting into the mini worlds using Tynix in which case, okay transformation to enter special locations makes sense). Makes perfect sense given they were the ones to give them the transformation to begin with.
The designs are um a bit much? The gems are nice though I hate Techna’s dress and Musa’s hair doesn’t really fit her outfit. Maybe its just cause of the picture but the hair looks off with all the gems, colors and her skirt. Also I don’t like blonde Flora. Bloom, Stella and Aisha look good though. Particularly Aisha, she slays
Transformation wise the idea is pretty cool though I don’t get where the fashion model idea came from given this transformation is from fairy animals. You’d think the fairy animals was involved in some way with the transformation but nope I guess its just the girls posing for the camera. I’m not into songs like the one for Tynix but it is good for its genre
Don’t have much thoughts on this transformation tbh its just meh to me. Rating 6/10
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thedragonhermit · 3 years
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Although they don’t really share the same personality, I can’t stop thinking of Ryuji being the Bill to Makoto’s Legoshi in this au, and that thought spawned this akdjfkjahdsjkhfa Feat. Futaba because I wanted to reference the extra comic in the manga where the 701 boys are looking at an idol group and of course Legoshi thinks the small herbivore girl is the cutest, and you know Futaba would be the one to do the “who’s the cutest idol?” test on Makoto akdhjfkjhads oh and Haru has definitely developed a wolf fetish fyi 
I come bearing other things as well, including this scale I wanted to draw up going into everyone’s feelings on wolves/Makoto currently, as its fairly important for upcoming character/plot stuff (note how far down Futaba is, meaning she has a long way to go before that comic could be canon)
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And here’s three new designs! 
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I haven’t drawn him for this au until now but for those unaware, I originally made Shido a bald eagle and very recently decided to change him to a golden eagle. Why? Well, um, because they’re cooler akdfjkhasd Specifically they’re bigger and eat things other than just fish, and it just works better for what’s already been established about a certain “brown-toned raven” :) Also coffee dad is here, hopefully looking somewhat recognizable without his iconic hair/beard???  And finally a mystery lion ooOOoo (if you know who he is, please don’t spoil it for others!!!)
Oh and a small thing (hopefully me mentioning this won’t jinx me into not doing it), I’m considering writing a one-shot giving a glimpse into what the other Phantom Thieves were up to behind the scenes of The Hearts of Beasts! Especially as there’s stuff I’ve come up with for them that may not come up in the sequel fic, as both it and HoB are more focused on Makoto and Haru. So yeah, that could be showing up in the future! It'd be like the Beast Complex of this au akdjhkfjhdkjhaf
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dongofthewolf · 3 years
Note
Hello! May I request a number 8 or number 11? She/her pronouns are preferred :) thx!!
I Despise That I Adore You
Abby Anderson X Reader
Prompt: 8. Hands brushing unexpectedly 11. Secret relationship
Warnings: swearing, fluff
Link to the prompt list here
A/N: I kind of decided last minute to write like 1.5k more words for this fic because uhhhh idk but I hope you enjoy (especially if you requested it) !!
A/N: I also didn’t realize you only requested one of the two prompts so I accidentally wrote both LOL but thanks for the request(s) !!
You have always had a very dichotomous view on life; you believed that you either liked a person, or you didn’t. It was a simple notion and a digestible one at that, but never did you think that a touch—a single accidental touch from someone you most definitely didn’t like, could wreck your world this way. 
You were at a briefing for an upcoming mission. It was a long, drawn out process that you dreaded, but what made it even worse was Abby. Okay, maybe not Abby specifically, but the fact that she could sit there at six in the morning and look so effortlessly beautiful, annoyed you more than you could say. Her outfit was the same as it almost always was; a simple grey tank top with green cargo pants and boots. Nothing extraordinary or outstanding, but you still couldn’t help but find it annoyingly attractive when she crossed her fucking enormous arms over her chest like that. God, she wasn’t even trying and you were losing it.
You didn’t like Abby—you couldn’t like her. How could you possibly like her when every single sign told you not to? She was stubborn and closed off, always shielding herself from the world with some serious facade you knew was bullshit. Maybe Abby did flirt with you occasionally and perhaps you did participate in it sometimes, but that all meant nothing. And anyways, even if you did like Abby (which you obviously didn’t) it would hurt you too much when she inevitably left you for someone prettier or cooler or smarter, and you didn’t need that right now.
Abby was all types of wrong and you knew that, which is why you were so utterly puzzled by this small, electric touch. It wasn’t even longer than a second, but as soon as it happened your heart felt like it had just been squeezed like a fucking lemon.
The briefing was finally over and you were quick to leave so you could actually get some sustenance for your body, and then it happened. You hadn’t even noticed that Abby was there when you dashed out the small exit of the military tent until you felt the smallest brush of her hand against yours. You paused to look back at Abby and she was looking at you too, and you swear it would’ve taken a damn machete to cut through the tension between those few, fleeting seconds of stillness. 
Your hand burned from where it had grazed Abby’s and you clenched your fingers into a fist to try and relieve yourself from the sensation. Promptly shoving your hand behind your back to hide it from Abby’s inquisitive gaze, you slowly backed away with your eyes still fixed to hers. And though there was a great amount of distance between the two of you, you noticed something in her stare. You weren’t sure if it was just your brain being stupid or manipulative, but you could’ve sworn you saw the slightest hint of endearment in Abby’s eyes. 
You tried to back away quicker but nearly fell over because of a stray root in the ground that you definitely weren’t looking at, and you could see Abby snort as she tried to hold back her laughter. Smiling nervously, you turned around and bolted towards the cafeteria. It was way too early for this.
Hoping to find some solace in a burrito, you practically ran to the cafeteria, but before you could even smell that lovely tortilla blanket, someone caught you. Abby was breathing slightly heavier than usual when she pulled you aside, practically trapping you against the wall behind you.
“Why are you running from me?” 
Abby’s arm was leaning on the wall next to your head and it took every ounce of willpower not to stare at her massive biceps. “I’m not running from you.”
“Um, I think the fact that I literally just sprinted after you, says something slightly different.” Abby used her other hand to brush a strand of hair away from her face. “So are we going to talk about it, or are you just going to run again?” 
You crossed your arms in front of your chest. “Talk about what?”
Abby gestured her hands awkwardly between the two of you. “Us—this. Whatever this is.”
“Abby, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about, but even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. So if you’ll excuse me, I need to grab some food now.” You ducked under Abby’s arm and began walking away but her next words stopped you in your tracks.
“I don’t understand you, I really don’t.” Abby was pacing now, her hands moving wildly as she spoke. “It’s like… sometimes you’re cold and distant and running away from me, and I just kind of accept it. I mean, even though it’s not like I’ve ever done anything to make you hate me this much, it obviously won’t help my situation if I continue to flirt with you. But then the next day I’ll catch you looking at me in that way and-”
“In what way?” You interrupted.
“Seriously?” Abby cocked her eyebrow, her mouth curled into an annoyed smirk as she rolled her eyes. “You look at me like you’re not sure whether you want to pounce me or punch me in the face.” 
She said it so plainly that you were speechless for a second, was it seriously that obvious? There was so much going through your head right now, but the one thing that stuck with you was the fact that you agreed with her. Though it’s not like you could ever admit it, so instead you opted for some good ol’ denial. “I do not.”
Abby was quick to respond, like she had anticipated your answer. “You do, and you know what? I honestly have no problem with it. In fact, I encourage it! I mean if you weren’t so confusing, I’d have asked you out by now. You’re gorgeous and smart and a major badass on the field, but I just have no idea what you want from me.”
The last sentence threw you for a loop and before you knew it, your heart was doing the squeezing thing again. Did she truly think you were all those things? 
Thinking about it, perhaps your problem wasn’t that you hated Abby. After all, it’s not like the reasons you disliked her were of any merit anyways. In fact, you kind of admired Abby when she wasn’t being a cocky bastard, but that still didn’t mean you could date her. Sure, she was kind of hot, and maybe you found her just the slightest bit charming, but you couldn’t possibly put yourself on the spot like that. Not only was she all types of wrong, Abby was also your superior, and Lord knows the scandal that dating her would transpire. 
Finally finding some semblance of composure, you spoke hesitantly. “Abby you’re my superior and if people found out I- we just can’t, okay? I’m sorry.” You internally cringed at your words. It was such a stupid excuse but you still couldn’t help but fear the backlash you would receive for this. 
Abby took a second to think before speaking. “Can I ask you a question?” 
You didn’t say anything, just nodded your head slightly.
“Do you like me?” Abby’s eyes were sort of wide and almost hopeful, and you felt a slight tinge of remorse because you weren’t sure you could give her an answer. It was a simple question, but something inside you just couldn’t manage to form a proper response. 
“Whether I like you or not doesn’t matter Abby, we can’t be together. I’ve worked so hard to get here and I’m not going to be belittled or ridiculed because I can’t keep my emotions in check.” 
“So what you’re saying is… there are emotions to keep in check?” There was a hint of mischief in her tone and a smile on her face. You don’t think you’ve ever groaned so loudly.
“I did not say that.”
“It was implied.”
Abby chuckled to herself, taking a step towards you with every punctuated word. “Okay, let’s say that hypothetically you do have feelings for me, and that hypothetically I could make sure no one knew we were dating. Would you go out with me then?
You scoffed as you took a step towards her, your bodies now just inches from each other. “Oh yeah? And hypothetically, how would you do that?” 
“It's simple, we date in secret.” Abby said it so nonchalantly that you thought she was joking. It took a few moments of awkward silence before you realized that she was serious.
“You’re kidding? That would never work.”
“Um first of all, I’m always serious, and second of all, did you forget that we are literally trained to be stealthy? I think if we can handle clickers, we can handle a secret relationship. Honestly Y/N, it seems like the only problem here is that you’re scared of going out with me because…” Abby took another step towards you, backing you against the wall with her arms crossed in front of her chest. “you’re afraid you’ll fall for me.”
You were utterly speechless. You wanted so badly to respond with a snarky comeback or a cheap insult, but as much as you hated to admit it, you were totally afraid of going out with her. Commitment is horrifying and complicated and you’ve gone your whole life trying to avoid it. But now? Abby was offering you a simple solution and before your mind could begin to consider the downsides to this, you answered.
“Fine. But if we get caught, it’s on you.”
And just like that, your secret relationship with Abby began. 
--
It only took the first two dates for you to warm up to Abby—though you were incredibly apprehensive about all of it at first—it wasn't long before she had successfully charmed her way to your heart. And though you’d never admit it out loud, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t having at least a little bit of fun. It was thrilling running around with Abby like this; late-night dates, stolen looks during briefings, clandestine touches while passing each other in the halls, the way she seemed to be just a little bit more protective of you during patrols. You revelled in the way she held you when no one was around, when it was just the two of you. 
It had almost been two months, and hiding a secret relationship with Abby was getting surprisingly more difficult. You figured it was likely a product of the fact that after your first kiss, Abby couldn’t seem to keep her hands off of you. It seemed as though someone was somehow lurking around every corner of this damn stadium, and the amount of times Abby had to sneak out of your room in the morning before your roommate woke up was honestly getting kind of absurd. 
However, one major upside that’s come out of this deal is that you no longer despised briefings. In fact—now that you and Abby had this strange arrangement—you almost looked forward to mission briefings. The fondness for them was partly because you got to stare at Abby with adoration rather than anger, but mostly it was because you got to tease her like there was no tomorrow during them.
It was another early briefing and Isaac was droning on about… patrols? Or maybe it was borders, you weren’t really sure. Instead of focusing on his dull rambles, your mind was wandering elsewhere. 
Abby was sitting in the seat next to you, her legs spread out while she leaned her toned forearms on the table in front of her. Keeping your eyes focused on Isaac, you brushed your knee against Abby’s just slightly before letting your hand slowly creep closer to her leg. Abby immediately knew what you were doing, quickly turning her attention towards you with a small tilt of her head. And though your eyes were fixed on the man in front of you, you knew she had a cautious look on her face. 
A small smirk crept onto your lips as you let your hands make their way higher and higher till it was resting on her thigh. Letting it linger there, you traced little circles with your fingers, noting the way Abby covered her face with her hand to hide her expression before you gave her leg the smallest squeeze. Abby jumped in her seat and the whole room immediately turned their attention to her. Trying to hide her obvious freak-out Abby cleared her throat before asking some stupid question about intercepting the target while you did your best not to laugh next to her. When she finally finished rambling and the focus was off of her, Abby snuck you the smallest look, the kind of look that said “I’m totally going to get you for that later”. 
At the end of the briefing, you noticed Abby making conversation with Manny near the exit of the military tent and an idea popped into your head. You made sure to look straight ahead as you nonchalantly walked out the exit before letting your hand brush up against Abby’s while you passed by. It still shocked you sometimes; somehow after nearly two months of hiding your relationship, her touch still managed to send you soaring. The familiar burn against your fingertips from your not-so-accidental accidental touch still lingering on your hand like an imprint—her imprint. 
You looked back at her with a mischievous smirk on her face and she rolled her eyes before whispering something to Manny. Walking away knowingly, you were unsurprised when she cornered you behind a cement pillar with her hands on your hips and her mouth hungrily on yours. Abby spoke with her mouth still against yours, refusing to break the kiss.
“You know, for someone who was so adamant about having a secret relationship, you sure seem to enjoy attracting attention to us.”
You smiled into the kiss, your fingers moving to play with the end of her braid before giving it the smallest tug. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 
Abby groaned and you chuckled at her expression when you pulled away from her lips, causing Abby to nearly face-plant into the pillar behind you. You giggled, smiling at Abby teasingly before feigning an annoyed tone as you turned away from her with your arms crossed. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to grab some food now.” 
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clefairymuke · 3 years
Text
regrets | chapter eighteen
prev. chapter | next chapter
pairing: levi ackerman x reader
themes: enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut
tw: violence / explicit sexual content
word count: 2018
His composure was frightening. You sat across from him at his desk, still half struggling to regulate your breathing as he poured still-steaming tea into your cup. It was as if nothing had happened: no fighting, no ignoring, and definitely no shameless and obnoxiously loud sex. He was a strange soul. He had cleaned you up rather quickly afterwards and directed you to his shower, leaving you with ten minutes to come to terms with what had just happened; however, you were left only with questions. When you returned, he was bringing his teapot from the stove to his desk, on which sat two teacups and a small stack of papers.
Your hair, combed back out of your face, was still damp; every so often, you felt cold little drops of water trickling down your neck and into the clean shirt Levi had given you to wear. You were sure his trousers wouldn't be the best fit; instead, you opted for just underwear. The shirt fell low enough, you thought. White socks kept your feet cozy as they could be, tucked beneath your thighs in a criss-cross. No words yet. That concerned you.
You cleared your throat and took a sip of your tea; it burned the tip of your tongue a bit, but you didn't mind. You could taste hibiscus. "That was . . . nice," you commented before mentally cursing yourself. What the hell was that? That was nice? Really? you thought, shrinking into yourself.
He chuckled — a rarity — and shook his head. You watched the way his fingers gripped the teacup from the top, lifting it to his lips in a way that you'd think would be uncomfortable, but he made it look fluid and natural. "Why do you hold it like that?" you asked, curious. His brow furrowed a bit, looking at you, unsure of what exactly you were asking. "The cup, I mean," you clarified. "The way you hold it is strange."
He looked down at it before meeting your gaze yet again. "That's a conversation for another day. You have dinner to get to soon, you know."
"You aren't going?" You pouted a bit without meaning to. His eyes were understanding, a tiny smile creeping across his lips.
"I'd rather stay in," he replied. "You can too, if you want." His tone was nonchalant and yet peaceful — a stark change from that of only an hour before. It was the comforting sound you'd grown accustomed to before he sealed it away behind his freshly-mortared wall of excuses. Worrisomely curious of him as you were, however, you couldn't help but wonder what was unfolding behind the slate grey stare that was impaling your own as you sat across from him. Your questions had yet to subside, and it was doubtful that they would. Levi was not one for blatant explanation, usually — his bluntness was at times occluded by his unwillingness to admit his own shortcomings. Counting the times you had to dedicate critical thinking to his invisible emotions would keep you busy well past dinnertime. You swirled your finger along the rim of your cup, getting lost in your thoughts.
You couldn't help how your eyes lingered on the man in front of you as he began to focus on the stack of papers in front of him. As his head tilted down to read the hand-written words, his still-messy hair occluded his forehead. Its inky color matched that of his eyebrows, drawn down in concentration to frame silver eyes. His nose sloped elegantly to a point, resting just above full, pink lips. His features were soft where they needed to be and chiseled where they didn't — his cheeks were full and plush-looking, while his jaw angled sharply into his chin. He was beautiful.
"Why are you staring at me?" he deadpanned, not bothering to meet your eyes.
"You're really pretty." I should just leave now, you decided. Why does my mouth allow this kind of shit to come out of it? This is getting annoying.
He looked up at you with one brow cocked up in questioning. You felt like getting up and walking out was a solid option; deserting couldn't possibly lead to a fate worse than this. You wondered if it would be more embarrassing to look for your pants first or just risk someone seeing you.
"How have you been sleeping?" he asked. You let out an audible sigh of relief; a subject change was much-needed to prevent your spontaneous combustion.
You shrugged at him. "I haven't, really. An hour or two a night is the extent of it." You yawned, right on cue. His eyebrow fell from mocking to its typical position for concern, making you grin. "I don't know why that surprises you."
"It doesn't. You look tired," he answered bluntly. If it came from anyone else, especially in a tone such as his, you might consider it an insult; however, the way his hand found yours across his desk and laid atop it reassured you otherwise. You found yourself gazing down at it, inspecting the way each blue-green vein trekked its own path across the pale landscape. You were quickly redirected by the fingers of his other hand finding your chin and lifting gently until your eyes met his. You experienced something not unlike chills down your spine as his thumb grazed your cheek before returning to his side. "What keeps you up?"
"That's a conversation for another day. It was really easy to get to sleep when you stayed with me in the infirmary, though. I would say I have trouble being by myself, but I haven't slept in a room alone in a long time." You shrugged again, watching gears turn in his eyes as he thought on your words.
His hand shifted from laying atop yours to grasping it, his thumb loosely caressing the top of it as you waited for him to speak. It was strange how this made you feel — the intimacy felt foreign despite how close you were to him only a half hour earlier. Something so common and simple was so unheard of when it came to him. You thought of how your sweaty hand felt in Jean's death-grip earlier that day, comparing it to the gentle hold Levi had on you now. This must be why couples hold hands for so long. "Let's get you something to eat," he said, finally.
He rose from his seat and started toward the back of his suite, which held an icebox and a wood-burning stove; he opted instead for the pantry. From it, he retrieved something wrapped in cloth and a jar of red jam. You stared open-mouthed at him. "I've been eating the same nasty soup as breakfast for weeks and you've had jam this whole time?"
He chuckled, unfolding the cloth to expose a loaf of bread. He pulled a breadknife from a drawer and began to cut it into slices. "Bread or toast? I'm about to put a skillet on for myself." He looked back at you, eyes absorbing yours into what felt like one of a thousand trances he'd held you in in the past few hours.
"Toast sounds nice," you replied, tapping your fingers absentmindedly on the wood of his desk. Your vision wandered yet again to the contents of the room, exploring every spotless inch like it was the last time you'd see it — with how hot and cold he could be, it very well may have been the last time. "How do you keep it so clean in here all the time?" you asked curiously.
He scoffed as he put the skillet on the stove, not even turning to acknowledge you.
---
The sky had become dark as it acted as a simple backdrop to your evening with Levi. The two of you had eaten at his desk; however, you were unsure of how he managed to finish between all of his not-so-kind comments about you allowing crumbs to fall on his desk and floor. You helped him clean up afterward to soothe his complaints, but his colorful language didn't cease until it looked as if no one had eaten anything at all — ever.
You now sat on his sofa, tucked in the corner of it with your knees drawn to your chest. The evening had brought on cooler weather than you would've liked, but you refused to complain. The company you had was worth a bit of a chill. Levi was perched on the other end of the couch, sipping tea and reading from a fistful of papers. The way he simply lived as if it were a typical day almost made you laugh; he didn't seem the type to entertain company, and today proved that he surely wasn't.
Besides, your friends would soon be wondering about your whereabouts, and your eyes were growing tired. It would soon be time to head back to the dorms for another battle with sleep, but you found comfort in the idea of not fighting with your own emotions to top it off. You thought maybe it wouldn't take too awfully long to get to sleep that night.
"Levi," you said, voice soft and full of sleep. He looked up at you, laying his papers in his lap and devoting his attention to your words. Little things like that were difficult to notice, but they meant everything once you did — it reminded you that no matter how dismissive he may act at times, he still cared enough to listen. "I think I need to get changed and head back. It's getting late."
He leaned forward and placed the documents on the table in front of him, blank-faced beckoning you toward him with one finger as if he was calling you for a scolding. In his eyes, on the other hand, you saw soft, inviting pools of silver. You scooted over to his side, letting your feet rest on the cool ground. He took your hand in his, reminding you again how secure and comfortable he was capable of making you feel. "Will you be able to get to sleep?" he asked, running his thumb across the top of your hand.
You shook your head at him. "Probably not. But I can't really stay here, you know."
He nodded, letting loose his hold on your hand. "I know. Your clothes are laid out on my bed. You can go change."
You got up from his side and went into his room, shutting the door behind you. Every part of you wanted to crawl into his bed and rest, despite obvious reasons telling you you couldn't. You changed as quickly as you could, leaving his shirt folded neatly near his pillow. When you left his room, he was still sat on the sofa. He rose quickly and met you in the middle of the room, escorting you to the door.
"My leg works fine now, you know. You don't have to walk me everywhere anymore," you laughed, shaking your head. He didn't reply, though; he simply opened the door for you.
"Don't break anything on your way back," he told you. You noticed the dark circles under his eyes growing more prominent as the night continued forward.
"No promises. I'll see you tomorrow?" you asked, a mischievous grin covering your lips.
You watched as he considered that for a moment, unsure of his answer. Finally, he settled on, "We'll see." You nodded at him, smiling, knowing that "we'll see" was as close to a yes as you could get with Levi. You started to walk out, but your brain stopped you in your tracks, turning to face the man with his gaze still fixed on you. Deliberation with yourself took place within less than a second as you leaned in close, kissing him quickly before turning on your heel and starting your trek back to the dorms.
A few yards away, you allowed your head to turn back at him, delighted to see that his eyes were still on you.
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blossom-hwa · 3 years
Note
I don't generally request stuff and the reason why I am doing this is because I absolutely love your work, especially the Kingdom Series and the Mermaid!Younghoon and I am a little embarassed to put out my little imagination request out
But I would like to request
Sunwoo + colour lavender but could you make it best friends to lovers au too? (It is okay if you can only work on one part too!!! Whatever you are comfortable with)
Thank you so much! Congrats on your 4 years, and thanking for alllllll the amazing work you have put out!!!!! Really big appreciation for you and your writing!!! Ly❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
hi love! there's no need to be embarrassed at all about this - it's a lovely idea, and thank you so much for your kind words and the request! I hope you enjoy this token of my thanks for your support <3
4 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/The Boyz/Golden Child/Ateez member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!
~
Title: Palette
Pairing: Sunwoo x gender neutral!reader
Word count: 1.8k
Triggers: none
~
"What color am I?"
The question comes on a hot day spent on the couch with the air conditioner broken, when everything feels like it's melting under the heat of the sun baking your apartment to a crisp. Somewhere in the building, a repairman is trying to figure out what's wrong.
You and Sunwoo, however, are melting into puddles on the sticky hardwood floor.
"What?" You shake yourself out of the blank state you’ve slipped into, staring at the empty ceiling. You've never spent much time looking at the ceiling. It's off white, maybe eggshell, a little cracked and blemished but not enough for you to say to no to the cheaper rent. Looking at it now, though, it's kind of ugly.
"You said Juyeon is yellow, like sunflowers.” He pauses. “Eric’s... green, I think. Sangyeon was red, Changmin was also green, but brighter than Eric. Right?”
Something tugs at the back of your mind, a memory of using your paints to describe some of your friends. Your eyes drift to the abandoned easel in the corner of the muggy room. You can almost feel the canvas melting off of it into a paint-splattered puddle on the floor. “Right,” you reply, wiping a bead of sweat off of your head. 
“You didn’t give me a color,” Sunwoo says. You can’t spare the energy to look in his direction even though he’s literally right next to you, but you imagine he looks about as wiped out as you feel. “So I wondered.”
Colors. Yes, colors like the off-white eggshell of your ceiling, the blue of the sky outside... 
What color is Sunwoo?
Orange is the first one that comes to mind, orange like a sunset, burning as it slowly dips under the horizon. Its rays wisp into the sky, fading in some places, intensifying in others, turning it into a mural of oranges and pinks and yellows, burning like the passion that fuels Sunwoo’s soul...
Oh, but yellow. Yellow exists - maybe not as golden as Juyeon’s yellow, maybe not as bright as the burning sun, but darker, deeper, like marigolds - orange mixed in, perhaps, but still yellow in abundance, like flower petals bursting into bloom. 
You frown. Sweat drips down the side of your face, but this time, you don’t even notice. Orange and yellow - they’re right, but not quite right. Not exactly. Not yet...
Sunwoo’s voice interrupts your thoughts. “Still thinking?” 
“Shut up.” You flail around a limp arm, smiling with satisfaction when it hits his stomach with an audible thump. “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
“You’re thinking about a color.”
“How long do you think it takes me to mix the exact right shade for each part of a painting?” You turn just enough to let him see your raised eyebrow. “Thinking about colors takes a lot of work.”
He grumbles but shuts up, eyes closing as he settles back onto the floor. You keep watching him though, follow the curve of his jaw down to his chin, tanned skin shiny with the sheen of moisture that seems to have covered everything in this tiny apartment...
Bronze comes to mind, warm, metallic, rich like the color of his skin. They made weapons out of bronze in the past - strong, steady, unyielding, like Sunwoo’s will to push past obstacles no matter how hard they seem at a glance. He could be a bronze statue, for all you know - he’s handsome enough for that, certainly some sculptor from the past would have been taken with Sunwoo’s looks if he’d been around and created a statue that would have lasted for centuries afterward. 
But it’s warm. Too warm. And maybe it’s just because of the hot sun pouring into the room even with the shades drawn, but thinking about metal, about bronze, makes you feel like you’re touching a burning hot stove on a day like this. There have to be other colors, right? Other colors that aren’t bronze, green, pink, maybe blue - 
Blue. You latch onto the thought. Not the color of the relentless sky, but maybe like the ocean - cool, deep, ceaseless in its flow but not overbearing until a storm comes, whipping the waves into a chaos of whirling water that slashes and swipes across the beach. Sunwoo’s a little bit of both, you think, the part of the ocean that goes with the flow, but also the part that gets a little angry, a little passionate, a little too worked up about some things sometimes. 
But his anger isn’t quite blue. Not really. Sunwoo is quick to anger but also quick to calm when dealt with correctly. The storm builds up its rage and lashes out as long as it wants, but Sunwoo... no. He’s not that way. Not quite. 
You stifle a groan. Is there any color that fits Sunwoo perfectly, then? Any single color on the stained palette next to your easel, any single color in the world? He’s too complex, too much of everything all at once - he could be blue, could be bronze, could be orange or yellow or pink, of all things - you could find a way to justify every single one but none of them would be enough - 
Your gaze rises from his chin to his lips, and your mouth goes dry. 
Maybe he’s red, like the first time you ever noticed the fullness of his lips. 
No, don’t think about that. You squeeze your eyes shut tight before opening them as though that’ll erase the image of his lips from your mind. It was in high school - you’d handed him his water bottle after ten minutes of running laps and you’d watched him tip it against his lips so full and soft, and for a moment, you had let yourself imagine what it’d be like to have those lips against yours. 
You force yourself to look somewhere else, anywhere, just away from the lips and the shade of red beginning to shimmer before your eyes. Red, right - your mind scrambles to turn its thoughts away - red - colors - that’s what you were supposed to be thinking of - not lips, colors - 
Your gaze rises above the lips to Sunwoo’s closed eyes. 
Only they aren’t closed anymore. 
You can’t breathe. You literally can’t breathe - how long have his eyes been open? How long did he see you watching him like some stupid creepy stalker?
Did he realize you were looking at his lips?
“Done yet?” he asks, breaking the silence. Is it just your imagination, or do his eyes flicker down to your lips too?
Just your imagination. “Shut up.” Even the jab comes out weaker than you’d like to. You want to look away, but you can’t seem to do it - something’s rooting you where you are, eyes fixed upon his. “Give me a minute.”
“How many minutes has it been?” It’s just your imagination, just your imagination... “Is it really that hard? You thought of Eric’s in, like, a second.”
You’re too much, you think. Too many colors all at once. But instead of saying that aloud, you just swallow, like the idiot you are. “Let me think,” you say. Your voice almost cracks. 
Red. Shades of red, beautiful red, the color of his lips, the core of the sun burning at sunset, smoldering embers on a dying fire splashed across the canvas of your vision. And yes, it’s almost perfect, almost there - you have his flaring temper caught in a color, now, but it needs something to cool it off - 
Blue. Blue, like you thought before, the ocean and its ceaseless flow. Blue and red, blue and red, blue and red...
“Purple,” you whisper, too close to his lips. Rich, royal, the coolness of blue and the fire of red... “Some shade of purple.”
“Purple.” Sunwoo repeats the word with curiosity on his lips, almost like he’s tasting the color on his tongue. “Why purple?”
“I -” You swallow when the soft puff of his breath hits your face. When exactly did you two get this close? It wouldn’t take more than a few inches to close the gap between your lips. “I couldn’t choose between blue and red,” you say honestly. “You’re both. In fact, it feels like you’re a bit of every color. But purple... that’s the closest I can get without giving you a specific shade.”
“Which shade?”
Something clicks into place in your mind, and it is definitely not your imagination this time when Sunwoo’s eyes fall down to your lips. 
The dryness in your mouth makes it difficult to swallow. You try anyway. “Give me a moment,” you murmur, heart beating unnecessarily quickly. 
Think. Shades of purple. Do you go darker or lighter? Warmer or cooler? Is he magenta? Mauve? Violet? Your mind flicks as quickly as it can through the catalogue of colors in your mind. Cooler, probably - he’s more the ocean than the fire, more embers than a full flame - lighter, too, like a breath of fresh air - 
A blast of cool wind gusts down from the vent. It’s gone almost as quickly as it comes, but it stays with you in the name of the color forming on your lips. 
Your voice comes out like a whisper. It feels wrong to speak any louder. “I’ve got it.”
Sunwoo blinks. His lashes look so lovely, framing his eyes. “Really?” he asks, and you have wonder if he closed the distance slightly since the last time you spoke - the few inches that separated you before seem to have decreased to a mere centimeter or two. “So what color am I?”
There’s another blast of cool air. Neither of you reacts to it. Instead, as blissfully cold air begins to filter through the vents, impulse drives you to lean forward, to close the entire distance at last -
Sunwoo’s lips are softer than you ever thought they’d be. They feel cool and warm all at once, purple as a base but lighter, cooler, a breath of fresh air on your face after a horribly hot day spent in the sun.
“Lavender,” you whisper against his lips. “You’re lavender.”
You don’t offer an explanation, but he doesn’t ask you to elaborate, like he did with purple. It’s okay. You think he knows it. Feels it, at least, when you kiss him once more, fresh air washing over your bodies, painting the canvas of your skin in cool, blissfully cool strokes. 
Lavender. 
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neonponders · 3 years
Text
Here’s part 1 and the soulmates comic that inspired all this.
I’d also like to thank the Harringrove community for giving me mutuals who enable the worst best part of me 💞 You’re all fantastic 💗
• • • • • • •
Steve’s teeth clenched as his shoulder blades hit the brick walls of the alley between the gymnasium and school building.
Their English class was only two doors down from an exit, and Billy Hargrove, of all people, gripped Steve’s jacket the moment he passed out of the classroom door, and hauled his ass outside.
Now Steve had a face full of California freckles that made the accompanying blue eyes look like tropical waters. Billy had been a menace ever since he got to this town, and all of Hawkins’ fields didn’t leave enough room for the both of them, apparently. Shoving Steve around during gym. Parking next to him like the noise of his frigging Camaro would eclipse the humble BMW’s existence.
Billy released him but stayed crowded in his space as he ordered, “Get a pen.”
“What?”
“A pen, Harrington. I know you have one.”
Yeah, I just failed a test with it, he thought bitterly, but he’d also been using it to talk to Billy Freaking Hargrove all morning. He pulled it out of his binder and bit the cap to push the end into it -
“OW. Don’t - ” Steve shoved him back a step, interrupting the zagged line Billy was scoring into his hand. Into Steve’s hand. “ - press that hard. Jesus Christ.”
He waved said hand in front of Billy’s face. “It’s real, all right? It’s me. It’s me! What? Did you expect to be taller than me or some - ”
Steve’s head knocked the brick this time when Billy shoved him back, fisting his shirt to the point of stretching the fibers
And kissing Steve’s mouth like he had the water in a desert.
Everything Billy did was aggressive, so he supposed this shouldn’t be much of a surprise, but 
But the stubble scraping against Steve’s chin sent sparks launching down his spine. Soft lips with a little edge of teeth, and Billy’s warmth radiating through their shirts into Steve’s chest...
He tried to lean forward, to adjust the kiss, to give his neck some space, but Billy caged him in. Steve’s nose pressed into his cheek and his hands found Billy’s denim jacket to get his own grip and shoved Billy back by his own kiss.
But the guy who doodled on his body, an artist who couldn’t eat cake and liked authors who waxed romantically - Steve’s special person - was a slab of muscle dressed in denim and leather. He held onto Steve’s front while his other hand framed his jaw and man-handled him back into place.
“Billy,” Steve tried. He stopped just shy of Steve’s mouth, like he intended to claim Steve’s oxygen as well as his space. “Gimme some space. There are bricks back here.”
Steve registers Billy’s pretty, long, long and pretty lashes moving before he sees the expression behind them. The look Billy has. Like he’s deciding between one type of aggression and another.
“You’ve been in my skin for years. You can handle some bricks.”
He starts kissing Steve again, and for all the good he’s giving, he gets spittle and laughter in return. When he finally retreats back to those millimeters of space, Steve giggles, “You’re so conceited, I swear to god.”
“I’m the same person I’ve always been.”
“I thought you were so sweet. Always drawing me things.”
“I have my moods.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” Steve laughed breathily and pivoted his face before Billy could kiss him again. He wedged his jaw beside Billy’s neck and held onto the back of his jacket as he made the guy carry his weight.
“What are you doing?”
“Hugging you.”
“I always knew you were a sap.”
Steve smiled a little even if Billy did not see it. He leaned his head into Billy’s, feeling the soft pillow of his hair, the curve of his ear. “I didn’t think I’d ever meet you. I’m glad I did.”
Like Billy’s marking on his skin, Steve listened to his silence but felt his fingertips drawing on his backside.
And if Steve expected Billy to relax or be nicer to him
He was dead wrong.
Billy got worse.
Steve had been told more than once that he was needy, touchy-feely, thrived on attention, but Billy was something else. Steve woke up with a full rose drawn on his forehead. He was almost late to school from washing it off. Then Billy stole his lunch. Outright took Steve’s tray off the table and went who-knows-where; Steve had to get back to world geography class or he’d fail the class for too many skips.
Then came gym. Word had clearly spread that Steve and Billy were spoken for, and Steve had never witnessed teenage boys shower faster in his life. Steve glanced around, just now moving his soap bar over his arm while Billy smirked fondly at him from under his own nozzle. "For no reason, have you ever done anything sexy in public?"
"Ate a girl out during a homecoming game."
That knocked Billy's features down a notch, and Steve laughed, "I'm not blowing you in these disgusting bathrooms."
Billy scoffed and twisted his water off. "I guess it should've landed that you were a prude when you had to be somewhere without markings on your body."
Steve flicked his eyes at the ceiling, because Billy was hot - a fact he already knew, but now he had hours of experience writing all over that rippling skin. And Billy’s hair curled really pretty when it was wet.
Steve liked to practice decency, okay.
He did let his gaze drift and fall to land on him, though, when he replied, “I have standards. High ones. Maybe stop complaining and consider yourself fortunate.”
Billy lingered for a while longer, just absorbing that before strolling out of the communal shower.
Billy definitely got worse.
Grinding pens into his hand until Steve threw himself out of bed in the middle of the night to turn his light on and read: Come outside. Pool. 
And yeah, Steve marched his ass downstairs in his slippers and robe because it was his own damn house and he liked soft things. And because he genuinely didn’t know if Billy would or would not throw a rock at his window if he didn’t get dressed fast enough.
Billy had already found the control panel and turned the pool lights on. He took lethargic steps around the water as Steve slid the glass door closed and crossed his arms. “You know, I’m all for staying up late, but not for my sleep being interrupted.”
Billy ignored that to kneel down and wave a hand through the water. “Didn’t know you had a pool.”
Steve shrugged. “I’ve got a bed too. You wanna use it?”
Billy laughed and stood back up - to start removing his clothes. “I want to go swimming first.”
Steve exhaled tiredly and let his face fall into his hands. “Billy, why am I out here?”
He got his answer in the form of Billy gripping the sash around his waist. He didn’t undo it, but pulled so Steve’s hips lurched forward. “What’s under this?”
“My tired ass that wants to sleep so I can keep up with the new kid in Hawkins.”
Billy chuckled and slipped his hand inside the folds. Steve bowed a little against the cooler hand wandering his bare skin. Cradling his naked waist. “What’s he like?”
“The wrong kind of pain in my ass.”
He’d caught Billy off guard with that one. Billy coughed a laugh and his chuckles dwindled as he let his perusal of Steve’s body loosen the robe. Then he pulled Steve to him so his mouth could press slow kisses over the slope of his shoulder. Steve’s head fell back when those lips found the tiny moles on his throat.
Steve’s arms encompassed him and he felt the familiar, soft press of Billy’s ear against his cheek. “I’m tired.”
“I want to swim.”
“You’re already naked. Go ahead.”
“You can’t think you’re going back inside without getting wet.”
“And you’re not getting in bed with me before rinsing in the shower. We’re both high maintenance.”
Steve swam in the pool.
Billy wore his robe and slippers into the house.
They showered together and, to Steve’s delight, Billy snuggled in close without putting his damp hair on Steve’s chest. The latter fell asleep with a large arm over his diaphragm and ocean breaths in his ear.
Steve woke up to the wet sensation of Billy drawing on his chest with his markers. Instead of opening his eyes, Steve mumbled, “If you’re drawing more penises...”
Billy hummed with mirth. “Just some unicorns humping each other.”
Steve earned a yelp when he reared up and tackled Billy to the bed. He kissed him silly and tasted his soul mate’s skin in his own bed. He made Billy’s hair a fluffy nightmare by the time he was through, and licked and sucked all of his muscles into jelly before he went to the bathroom to relieve himself...
Two birds under his collarbones framed a script spanning over his chest.
I can’t say sweet things. But you are beautiful.
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This Town’s Infested with Urban  Animals
So one of the cooler ideas that pops up in This Town Will Never Let Us Go are these things I’ve been calling ‘urban animals’ after a line in the text, which, not to spoil too much, are basically agents of the War Powers that are integrated into the local environment to fulfill certain goals, weaponizing certain cultural images and connotations for maximum effect.
It’s a bit more complex than that, but it’s kind of impossible to really go into the detail without spoiling a chunk of the plot, so I’m putting the rest under the break.
So for anyone that hasn’t read the book, basically the titular unnamed Town is one of the many places that the War in Heaven (a massive war fought over all of time between groups called the War Powers) intersects with, and two of the three view point characters are directly influenced by it.
One of the POV’s, Valentine, is attempting to use a nuclear bomb on a crashed Ship of War (a time active vessel) that is trapped under the Town, and in the latter part of the book Valentine is attacked by these Urban Animals, which take several forms.
One is a silver van that seems to be observing him,
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and later attacks him as he attempts to escape his building
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And might be semi-sentient? (and this is where to term ‘urban animals’ is dropped).
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There are also animals that Valentine dubs Dogs of War.
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And lastly, we have vessels that take on the appearance of helicopters
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These three things are agents of the War Powers that appear to have adapted themselves to take on common iconography in order to blend in to their surroundings.
Why make a fuss when you can just have your drones appear as helicopters, or vans? Why use a horrible monster to take out an enemy agent when a dog will do?
However, it has to be said that Valentine is not the most reliable POV. He is actively taking heavy drugs to stay awake at this time of the story, and what he sees is possibly discredited later on in the story.
First we see that the three ships that are chasing them are just local helicopters that have been drawn into the story by other events.
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And we later learn that the Dogs of War that he encounters in his apartment building are simply local dogs owned by another resident.
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Which seems to point to a more mundane reality, but there is something weirder going on here than at first glance.
You see, the Ship of War that is buried beneath the Town? The one that Valentine wants to nuke?
Well it happens to mainly exist on a conceptual level. One which Inangela, one of the other (admittedly, also slightly unreliable) viewpoint characters interact with.
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The Ship of War exists on a conceptual level. Its a time travelling ship, but more than that, it is time, and history, and the very culture of the Town itself. It has built up the very society around it to such a place and degree to create Inangela’s ritualist beliefs as a way to free itself. The Ship of War is a self-actualizing piece of psychosphere that is weaponized to fight not just a Time War, but a War over and through history and culture.
So the ship is less an active place and more an active idea. Inangela and the rest can see it because they have created the context necessary to perceive it.
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If a Ship of War can either be a collection of human culture and beliefs as well as a vehicle used to fight a war, than why can’t your agents be cultural symbols and cultural connotations that just so happen to also exist as various animals and vehicles that are operating under no active knowledge of their roles?
And a similar idea even pops up in the first scene that the Dogs show up in, which discusses why the Dogs appear as, well, dogs.
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Have your agents appear as something that can be reasonably found anywhere, instantly recognizable and subconsciously feared, and naturally have skills in hunting, scouting, and attacking.
If you’re fighting a war through time and history, with Ships that can effect human culture just be existing, it would make sense that you would also be able to place your agents naturally into their environment. Say you need a Dog of War in a place? You build it’s entire history from being born, to be trained as an attack dog, and then adopted by someone who just so happens to live in the same building as target will later live in, and who lets their dogs out to roam freely. And then when the target is there and ready to be taken down, you have your Dog of War just so happen to be out in the halls, trained to be aggressive through in universe sources, and ready to attack.
Why Valentine can see them as the War Powers do at this point is that he’s been primed to see them, the way Inangela is primed to see the Ship of War, because he’s seeing the world through a cultural context of being the lone hero out stop the War.
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And one of the War Powers has built him up to that point. The culture of the Town itself is being controlled and fought over by both sides of the war. So if Inangela has been primed to free the Ship of War, Valentine has been primed to blow it up. And him seeing these Urban Animals as they really are, agents of the War Powers, is just reinforcing his belief that he’s doing the right thing.
What’s more normal for someone trying to take on a shadowy quasi-government than being chased by vans and helicopters?
And near the end when he's stopped? Well, one of those helicopters just so happens to start suffering from random electrical problems.
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And then that helicopter just so happens to crash and set off the homemade nuclear bomb.
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The death-toll of which coincidentally has the effect of stopping anyone from criticizing the war, and connects any such attempts to Valentine’s terrorist actions, which definitely seems to be the goal for at least one of the Powers at play.
And when you look at that, the technology that the War Powers possess and how they seem to operate, it seems to me that these urban animals are more than just random vehicles and animals, and are actually active agents in the War, and a pretty ingenious one at that.
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cyraclove · 4 years
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“I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital” with modern BotW Zelink would be amazing :') (you can choose who gets hit and who visits! it works very well both ways)
Link stared into the windows of the flower display, his eyes traversing the plethora of multicolored blooms for the hundredth time. He’d been standing there for a solid ten or fifteen minutes, the tinny muzak of the hospital’s gift shop threatening to drive him out of his mind. The furled petals of a bouquet of yellow roses shook softly as the refrigerated case’s motor kicked on, looking almost as though they were laughing at him.
He decided against those.
Swallowing hard, he absentmindedly rubbed his palms together as he took stock of his ribbon-bound options yet again.
Sweaty. Why was he so sweaty?
Just pick some, you idiot, barked a voice in his head.
“Excuse me, sir,” said a foreign female voice that startled him from his thoughts, “Do you need some help?”
He turned to see an older, brunette woman with the roundest eyeglasses he had ever seen smiling pleasantly at him, her hands clasped behind her back. ‘Alma’, her nametag read.
He shook his head, scrambling for words. “Oh, uh…no, ma’am,” he stammered, attempting a sorry excuse for a smile, “I’m just…browsing.”
“Are you looking for something specific?” She asked, peering into the cooler. “We have flowers for just about any occasion. Flowers can say a lot just on their own, you know.”
How about some that say, ‘Sorry that I hit you with my car, complete stranger,’ he thought to himself. Link chuckled uncomfortably, knowing that he was definitely going to have to lie to this woman. “I’m here to visit my, er, friend. She was…in a car accident.”
Read on AO3
Alma nodded solemnly, clucking her tongue. “Oh, how terrible. I’m very sorry to hear that. People really can be such careless drivers these days, can’t they?”
“Yes,” he said through his teeth, “they certainly can be.” His eyes were drawn to a bunch of sickeningly pink ‘It’s A Girl!’ balloons, a nearby oscillating fan causing them to bob violently every minute or so. The screech of the colliding mylar made his stomach churn, and he silently wished for death.
“Well,” Alma began, a cool burst of air escaping the display when she opened the door, “I’m sure that we can pick something perfectly lovely that’ll have your friend feeling better in no time.”
The woman pursed her lips as she surveyed the case, humming thoughtfully. She eventually gathered up a bouquet of light blue lilies, their pointed petals tipped with white.
“What do you think of these?” she asked, “We just got them in from Necluda. This variety is called the ‘Silent Princess’, I believe.”
Before he could answer, Link’s phone began to ring, the shrill tone making him jump a bit. He grinned sheepishly at Alma as he fished it from his pocket, groaning inwardly as soon as he glimpsed the screen. Tapping his thumb on the red ‘ignore’ button, he tucked it away.
“Those are great,” he replied, “I’ll take them.”  
Alma smiled brightly, motioning for him to follow her the checkout counter. “Excellent,” she chimed, “Can I put them in a vase for you?”
His phone rang again. Link felt his eye twitch.
“Uh, sure. I mean, yes, please.”
“Would you like to add anything else? We have these precious sand seal plushies that would be just ador—”
“Just the flowers will be fine, thank you,” he said, more hurriedly than he’d intended. Snatching his phone from his pocket, he turned away from the counter and held the cell to his ear.
“What do you want?” He hissed.
A jovial cackle came from the other end of the line.
“Well, if it isn’t CHU’s resident asshole.”  
Link pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger as he inhaled deeply. This was, decidedly, the last thing he needed right now.
“You called me, Revali,” he snapped, “Do you actually need something, or did you just want to be a dick?”
“You wound me, Link,” the other young man drawled, “Oh, no—wait. I’m not the one who’s wounded, am I?”
Link clenched his jaw, the snip of Alma’s scissors on the flowers’ stems suddenly and inordinately loud. He glanced up at the woman only to have her swiftly look away, feigning focus on her task.
“You’re quite the hot topic on campus,” he heard Revali sigh, “I’m almost envious, what with the way everyone’s got your name in their mouths.”
“Who’s talking about it?”
“Who isn’t talking about it? Link, you hit a woman with your car. In the quad, for the love of Hylia. How’d you even manage that, anyway?”
“Okay, look,” he nearly seethed, “It was not in the quad, it was the intersection next to the quad. And it was an accident! I had the right of way, I didn’t see her, and the—the walk sign wasn’t even on!”
“Was she on the crosswalk?”
Link balked as he conjured up the memory from the other day. It had all happened so fast; one minute he was putting on his turn signal, and the next a young blonde woman was sprawled out on the road in front of his car. “I mean…well, yeah, she was on the crosswalk.”
“Then she had the right of way. Pedestrians always have the right of way, genius.”
“I’m hanging up now,” he muttered, disconnecting the call to the sound of Revali’s raucous laughter in the background. His near equal on the university archery team, Revali and Link were self-proclaimed rivals; well-known ‘frenemies’ to the rest of their teammates. While Link undeniably respected him for his skill, he could also be a real pain in the ass.
Releasing a weighty sigh, he faced the counter again, only to be met with a piercing glare of disapproval from the woman standing behind it. His blood ran cold as he and Alma locked eyes, hers narrowed in wordless acknowledgment of his sin. Approaching the register, Link flipped his wallet open and removed his credit card before sliding it toward her across the grey acrylic.
“Ring up the seal.”
-
The ride up the elevator was gruelingly slow, the jarring ding! of the door opening on what seemed like every damned floor made Link’s head throb. The air inside the garishly carpeted box was stuffy and stagnant, the scent of antiseptic stinging his lungs with each inhale. He looked down at the overpriced stuffed animal in his arms and frowned, its judgmental button eyes boring into him. The sluggish chug of the ancient machinery as it whined to a stop was nauseating, jostling him just enough to make him dizzy.
He finally stepped off and onto the tenth floor, referring to the clumsy, smeared numbers written on his palm in red pen. Link wandered down a white linoleum hallway, the idle hum of incandescent lights buzzing overhead as he peered at room numbers; the water in the vase sloshed softly as he went. With the plush tucked under one arm and the flowers cradled in the other, he raised his fist to knock tentatively on a door marked 1003.  
“Come in,” responded a quiet voice from the other side. Link instinctively held his breath as he pressed down on the door handle, inching it open.
The room was cold and clinical, painted and furnished in subtle greens and dull blues. Aside from several dim wall sconces, a large westward-facing window adorned with heavy curtains was the only source of light. Pushed up against the center of the back wall was a slim hospital bed, and in it sat a woman that Link had seen only once before—unconscious on the asphalt in front of his sedan. Her eyes flickered up toward him as he entered, darkening with realization mere seconds afterward.
“What are you doing here?”
Link froze, his thoughts scrambling as both his legs and tongue refused to move. All he could do was stare at her, eyes trained on the clunky, neon-green cast that enveloped her left arm. A purply-green bruise around the size of golf ball sat just below one of her eyes, swallowing the tiny freckles that peppered her cheeks. Her bottom lip puffed out, an angry cut splitting it vertically down the middle.
She looked awful.
And she had somehow managed to be strikingly beautiful at the exact same time.
“Well, I came to, uh,” he started, his words leaving his mouth before he had time to appropriately process them, “I came to see…how you were feeling.”
The young woman scoffed, turning her head towards the window. It was then that Link noticed the sutures running along the underside of her collarbone. Guilt roiled in his stomach for the millionth time that day as she began to speak.
“Let’s see; I’ve got bruised ribs, a couple of chipped teeth, and a concussion. Oh—and my arm is broken,” she replied in a biting tone, “So, I’m not great. Thanks.”
After a moment, he took a few tentative steps nearer to her bedside. He watched her gaze gradually slide in his direction, meticulously studying his movement. Link sighed, looking down at his feet with a shake of his head. His chest felt suffocatingly tight, as though someone had his lungs trapped in an ever-tightening vise.
“Look, I know that nothing I say right now is going to make any of this less shitty,” he told her, “and I’m sure that I’m the last person that you wanted to see today. That being said, it would’ve been even shittier of me to not at least try and come apologize to you. Because I messed up, big time, and I’m really, really sorry.”
The young woman said nothing in response, absentmindedly picking at her fingernails as she considered his repentant declaration. Her brows knitted above her sea-like eyes, consternation marring her delicate features. Link’s resolve just about shattered when he saw the impending tears brimming at her waterline.
“And I brought you this seal,” he blurted out, placing the patchwork creature on the bed near her legs, “You just seemed like, uh…a seal person.”
To Link’s relieved surprise, the corner of her mouth quirked up as she looked at the stuffed animal. Picking it up and setting on her lap, a watery giggle burbled from her chest as tears slid down her cheeks. The chuckle soon morphed into a full-on laugh, a bright, contagious sound that filled the room. Unable to help himself, Link smiled, and was soon laughing with her despite not entirely knowing why.
“It’s cute,” she sniffled, wiping at her eyes.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, it’s really cute. Thank you.”
They smiled through the remnants of their laughter as it faded out, leaving the two in silence again. The setting sun bathed the room in rosy amber and cast fractured, pinkish shadows on the walls. Unsure of what else to do, Link set the bouquet on her curiously empty bedside table. It was then that he paused to take stock of the rest of the room, realizing that it did not resemble what he imagined the hospital room of someone who’d just been hit by a car to look like.
It was devoid of any other flowers save the ones that he had brought, and missing were cards and balloons from well-wishing friends. He furrowed his brow, and his heart sank when the most likely reason for the lack of gifts dawned on him. She must be in Central for school, he thought, and all of her friends and family were wherever home was. Or, even worse—they were around, but couldn’t be bothered to come and pay her a visit. Turning back to face her, he gestured to her plaster-clad arm.
“No one’s signed your cast,” he noted.
She gave him a queer look. “What do you mean?”
“Uh, that’s the thing to do isn’t it? Have your friends write their names on your cast? And put, uh, I don’t know…stickers on it.”
She shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never broken an arm before,” she replied, shooting him a sly look. “I haven’t got many friends, either, I guess,” she added under her breath, face falling.
“Do you have a Sharpie?”
“Oh, um, I think I have a few in my backpack. It’s just over there, on that chair. Should be in the little side pocket.”
Link made his way over to a grey pleather armchair and unzipped the pocket in question, reaching inside to pull out several permanent markers. Returning to the bedside, he held them out to the blonde, presenting her with her choice of color; black, red, or blue. She looked up at him from beneath delicate lashes, grinning as she selected the blue one. She extended her arm, and he sat on the edge on the bed as he gingerly braced it with his free hand. After popping the cap off with his teeth, he scrawled his name on the lime-colored cast as gently as possible.
“Link,” she murmured when he’d finished, “I just realized that I didn’t even know your name until now.”
It was true. He knew her name, simply because he’d had to ask for it at the front desk, but they had never been properly introduced. Not surprising, considering the circumstances under which they came to know one another in the first place. He’d never seen her around campus before the other day, leading him to assume that they must not run in the same circles. That had to be the case, because hers was not a face that he would’ve forgotten.
“My name is Zelda,” she said, “Even though you probably know that already.”
“I do,” he admitted, “but it’s nice to officially meet you. Zelda.”
Her eyes crinkled at their corners when he reached out to lightly shake her fingers that poked out of the cast. He stood up from the bed, shooting her a quick smile before crossing the room to return the markers to her bag.
“Thank you for the flowers,” he heard her say from behind him, “Oh, and for my seal.”
“It’s the least I could do, I think,” he responded, “I mean, considering.”
“Still,” Zelda went on, “It was kind of you to come. I just…I appreciate the company. It was getting a bit lonely here.”
Link stilled at that. So, she really was alone. He almost didn’t want to believe that not even her own parents had bothered to stop by, that not a single friend had sent a card. It had to be a mistake; there was no way that such an enchanting person had no one to call on.
“The, uh, food here must not be very good, huh?” He tried.
She cocked a brow at him. “What?”
“Hospital food. It’s notoriously bad,” he clarified, attempting to mentally signal to her that he was, in fact, going somewhere with this. “If you want, I could bring you something. Later, I mean, for dinner. I think I probably owe you that, don’t you?”
It could have been the sunset, but Link swore that a blush darkened her cheeks ever so slightly when she smiled at him, nodding. “That sounds great, actually.”
“Alright, it’s a date, then,” he announced without thinking, wincing immediately afterward, “I mean, uh, sounds like a plan.”
“Here, let me put my number in your phone,” she offered, holding out her good hand. He fished it from his pocket and handed it to her, watching as she tapped in her contact info with her only her index finger. After a short discussion about what kind of food she’d like to have, they said their goodbyes with the promise of seeing one another later that evening. Link closed to door carefully behind him, glancing back into the narrow window to see Zelda admiring her flowers.
He shuffled into the elevator, wedging himself in between a group of nurses and weary-looking man with a fussy toddler on his hip. It was humid and it was loud, and anyone else might have wanted nothing more than to go home and go to bed. Link stared at Zelda’s name in his phone as the elevator made its agonizingly long descent back down to the lobby, already counting the minutes until he’d get to ride back up again.
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I adored this prompt so much, I made it its own thing on AO3. Thank you for the ask! This was so much fun!
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Love and Medicine ~ 3
MASTERLIST
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< previous chapter
Word Count: 4,600ish
Summary: The beginning of your intern year continues.
Warnings: man parts (lol) and talk about rape
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You really tried your best, but you couldn’t get the image of a naked Dr. Steve Rogers on the floor of your living room out of your head. You had decided one night that, to help get the image out of your head, you needed roommates. The house that you had inherited was big enough and the longer you lived there, the lonelier it became. So, you created a ‘roommates wanted’ sign and posted it in the locker room before your shift.
You had several interns come up to you explaining why they would be the perfect roommate for you within the first few hours of your shift. It was annoying and you turned every single one of them down, being very particular about who was going to live with you.
“Why do you put up posters for roommates if you don’t want roommates?” Val asked as you, her, and Scott walked down a corridor.
“I do want roommates,” you defended. 
“And why can’t we be those roommates?” Scott wondered
“We’re just together a hundred hours a week, you want to live together too?”
“No,” Natasha responded, walking up to the group. “Ooh, you’re bringing bribes now?” She motioned to the cup of coffee in your hand.
“I need a place to live,” Scott rambled. “My mom irons my scrubs. I have to get out of there.”
“It’s not a bride,” you told Natasha before turning to Scott. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“But I can’t put down last, first, and deposit,” Scott argued.
“It’s totally a bride,” Natasha scoffed.
“I can cook,” Val added. “And I can clean.”
“No,” you stated. “I just want two total strangers who I don't have to talk to, or be nice to, and it's not a bribe, it's a mocha latte.”
“Clint, you’re running the code team,” Gamora ordered as you all walked up to her. “Y/N, take the trauma patients, Natasha, deliver the weekend labs to patients, Val, you’re on sutures, and Scott, you’re on scut.”
“Dr. Gamora,” you called. “I was hoping to assist you in the OR today, maybe do a minor procedure? I think I'm ready. Mocha latte?” You held the cup out for her.
“If she gets to cut, I want to cut too,” Natasha added.
“Yeah, me too,” Val joined in.
“I wouldn’t mind another shot,” Scott shrugged.
“And if everybody else gets one, then I do too!” Clint said.
“Stop talking,” Gamora demanded. You all fell silent. “Every intern wants to perform their first surgery, that's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No. Why? Because my interns are whining. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma patients taken care of, having the weekend labs delivered, and having someone down in the Pit, doing the sutures.” She swiped the mocha latte from your hand. “No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary freakin' Poppins.”
“Mocha latte my ass,” Natasha grumbled.
“Why’re y’all still standing there? Move!”
Everyone moved, you heading to the elevator with a few files. You paused in your steps when you noticed who was waiting at the elevator. Dr. Steve Rogers. You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself, before making your way to stand and wait next to him. When he noticed you, he tried to hide the pleasant smile that wanted to take over his face.
“New York has ferry boats,” he stated.
“Yes,” you replied, a bit confused.
“I didn’t remember that. I grew up here then left, now I’ve been living here for six weeks, and I didn’t remember there were ferry boats.”
“Well, Manhattan is an island.”
“Hence the ferry boats.” The elevator arrived and the two of you stepped onto it. “Now I have to like it here. I wasn’t planning on liking it here. I just moved here from the country. I’m supposed to not like big cities like Manhattan. But I have a thing for ferry boats.”
The elevators doors closed, leaving them alone in the elevator. He was leaning against the wall behind you as you stood in the middle, holding the files to your body. You hoped that he couldn’t hear your heart pounding in your chest. 
“I’m not going out with you,” you blurted. You don’t know if you were trying to tell him that or if you were trying to convince yourself that you weren’t interested.
“Did I ask you to go out with me?” He questioned. He paused before asking the next, “Do you want to go out with me?”
“I'm not dating you. And I'm definitely not sleeping with you again. You're my boss.”
“I'm your boss's boss.”
“You're my teacher. And my teacher's teacher. And you're my teacher.”
“I'm your sister, I'm your daughter,” he joked.
“You're sexually harassing me.”
“I'm riding an elevator.” He stepped towards you, you could practically feel him breathing down your neck. You spun around to face him.
“Look, I'm drawing a line. The line is drawn. There's a big line.”
“So, this line. Is it imaginary, or do I need to get you a marker?”
You stared at him for a second, basking in all his attractiveness. It didn’t take you very long to go ‘screw it’ and drop the files you were holding and kiss him. Steve was a tad surprised but caught on quickly. When the elevator dinged, you quickly crouched down to pick up the files and rushed out of the elevator. Steve stood there, looking amused.
“We’ll talk later?” He called after you. You ignored him and he chuckled to himself. “Definitely, later.”
~~~
In between taking care of patients, you had interns begging you to let them be your roommate. You were slowly regretting the idea of roommates the longer the day went on. Thankfully, your pager rang and requested you down in the ER.
“You the surgeon?” A nurse asked as you entered the room.
“Yes,” you replied.
“We’ve got a rape victim. 21-year-old female found down at the park, status: post-trauma, she came in with a GCS of 6, BP 80 over 60, head trauma, unequal breath sounds, right pupil is dilated, and she's ready for x-ray. You ready to roll?” You were listening but also focused on the girl’s shoes. They were the same ones you had worn to work. “Hey!”
“Uh, sorry,” you stumbled. “Yeah. Call it in to clear CT, let them know I'm coming, load up the portable monitor, call respiratory for a ventilator, I'll get x-rays while I'm down there.”
You quickly learned that the girls name was Mallory and, just by you reading the scans alone, she would be needing surgery. Dr. Banner and Dr. Rogers were both called in while you were allowed to watch and hopefully assist.
“She’s going to spend a hell of a lot of time in recovery and rehab,” Dr. Rogers stated.
“If she survives,” Dr. Banner added.
“What is she, like, 5'2", a hundred pounds, she's still breathing after what this guy did to her? If they catch the guy, they should castrate him.”
“See how shredded her hands are? She tried to fight back.”
“Tried to?” Dr. Stark repeated, walking into the room. “Rape kit came back negative. She kicked his ass.”
“So, we have a warrior amount us, huh?” Rogers questioned. 
“Hell yeah we do! I just came in to tell you about the rape kit and to see if you needed me anytime soon. Can’t have the poor girl be reminded of the incident with so many scars.”
“Mallory,” you interrupted. “Her—her name is Mallory.”
“Mallory,” Rogers and Stark repeated. 
“I think I may have found the cause of our rupture,” Banner said, pulling out a piece of flesh. “What is this?” He held it up. “Does anyone know what this is?”
“Oh my gosh,” you gasped, with Dr. Stark snickering from the sidelines.
“What? Spit it out, L/N.”
“She bit it off.”
“Bit off what?”
“That’s his…” You swallowed. “His penis.” Shocked groans filled the OR. “She bit off his penis.”
“Told you she kicked his ass!” Stark exclaimed as Banner couldn’t toss the piece of flesh into the try fast enough. 
~~~
After the surgery, the penis was placed in a small cooler. You were tasked to bring it to Fury for the police. You knocked at the door of his office, where an older woman is in there.
“Hi, is the chief in?” You asked.
“He’s on his way,” she responded. “Is that it?”
“Can I see it?” You looked down at the box and then up again. “No, forget I asked.”
“Y/N, it’s good to see you,” Fury greeted as he entered, going to his desk.
“You too, sir,” you responded with a nod. “Listen, so they said to bring this to you,” you lifted up the cooler. “So…?”
“Yes, for the police,” Fury responded.
“Right.”
“When did the police say they'll come?” Fury asked his assistant.
“You know how slow they are,” she answered. “So, she’d better take it with her.”
“What?” You questioned.
“You have to take it with you.”
“Chain of custody rules,” Fury explained. “All medical matter in a rape must stay with the person who collected it, until it's placed in police custody.”
“You collected the specimen, so you have custody.”
“Custody of a penis…” You said.
“Yes,” Fury answered. “Until the cops come for it.”
“Okay. Well, what am I supposed to do with the penis?”
Fury simply shrugged before excusing you. You huffed, leaving the office with the cooler. You wandered the halls until you saw Clint working at a desk. You walked over, setting the cooler down and causing Clint to look up at you.
“What’s that?” He pointed to the cooler as he asked.
“Don’t ask, you don’t want to know,” you responded.
“I do want to know. Really.”
“You really want to know?” Clint nodded. “It’s a severed penis.”
“Okay… I didn’t really want to know.”
“Told you.”
“I didn’t know why I have to be the one who gets hugged,” Natasha complained to Peter as they walked up.
“Because, I don’t do that,” Peter replied. “Besides, you're the ovarian sister here.”
“Did you just call me an ovarian sis— an ovarian— since when has the possession of ovaries become an insult?”
“Y/N’s carrying a penis around in a jar,” Clint interrupted.
“Oh, from the rape surgery?” Natasha looked around.
“Yeah,” you answered. “And it’s not a jar, it’s a cooler.”
“Talk about taking a bite out of crime.” Natasha chuckled as she left.
You were suddenly lost in your head, unable to stop thinking about Mallory’s shoes. They were the same as yours. You had worn them to work today, which was weird. You never really wear them.
“You okay?” Clint asked.
“Yeah… it’s just… Mallory's shoes. The rape victim, Mallory, her shoes. I have the same ones. In my locker. And I normally never wear them, because they're not comfortable, but today I did, and she was wearing the same shoes, and it's just… stupid, and I'm tired, and forget it.”
“You know what you need?” Clint stared at you.
“No. It’s stick and twisted. We said last time was the last time.” Clint looked away. “You’ve been doing it without me?”
“Nancy Reagan lied. You can't just say no. Come on.”
“Do you know what would happen if anyone knew?”
“I'm doing it. You can come with me… or you can stay here, and be miserable.”
“Fine,” you tried to hold back a smile as you followed Clint. 
He led you to the nursery, where you two stood at the window and watched the babies. You laughed as Clint did some baby talk.
“You are such a woman,” you laughed.
Clint’s pager beeped before he could retorted. “It’s a code,” he sighed. “I gotta go.” 
He left, leaving you to sigh as you watched the babies.
“You are really cute,” you whispered as you looked at them.
As you watched them, you noticed at one of the babies was struggling. His face was slowly turning blue. You quickly entered the nursery, setting the cooler to the side before checking the babies chart. Then you sided your stethoscope to check on the babies heart.
“What are you doing in here?” A Peds Intern asked, walking into the room.
“There were no tests ordered,” you answered. “And the baby has a murmur.”
“I know.”
“He turned blue.”
“You're surgery, you're not authorized to be in here. Do you know how much trouble you can get into for this?”
“Are you going to do any tests?”
“It's a benign systolic ejection murmur. It goes away with age.”
“So you're not going to do any tests.”
“He's not your patient, he's not even on your service.”
“Are you sure it’s benign?”
“I'm a doctor too, you know. You should get out of here.”
Deciding you’d rather not get in trouble, you grabbed the cooler and left. You were stopped along your wandering by more interns who wanted to room with you. After having listened to three of them, you walked away, still unimpressed, and went to Mallory’s room. You were looking at her through the window when Dr. Rogers came up.
“Y/N,” he greeted. “I've called every hospital in the county. Sooner or later, the guy that did this is going to seek medical attention, and when he does, that penis you're carrying around is going to nail him.”
“Where is her family?” You asked.
“Doesn’t have any.”
“No siblings?”
“No. Both parents are dead. She just moved to New York three weeks ago. Welcome to the city.” When you didn’t give a response he turned to look at you. You were lost in your thoughts. “Y/N, you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. I just… I just have to do something. I have to go.”
“Right. I’m going to sit with her.”
You nodded before rushing away to find Dr. Banner.
“Dr. Banner?” You called when you saw him.
“Mmm?” He hummed, turning to face you.
“There's a baby up in peds, I saw him have a tet spell, and I think I hear a murmur.”
“Mmm. Did peds call us for a consult?”
“Actually, no. They’re not doing anything about it—“
“So you want me to what?”
“If you could just go up and look at him—“
“Mm-hmm, not without a Peds consult.”
“Yeah, but—“
“I’m a busy man, L/N, and there are rules. Look, it’s not like I’m the Chief or something.”
Then he stocked off, leaving you frustrated. 
“Stupid rules.”
~~~
Eventually, you found a spot in the lobby to sit. Just waiting for the cops to show up.
“What’re you doing down here?” Natasha asked when she came across you.
“Just sitting here with my penis,” you responded. “What about you?”
“Hiding from Peter.” She sat beside you.
“I kissed Steve.”
“You kissed Steve.”
“In the elevator.”
“Oh, you kissed him in the elevator.”
“I was having a bad day. I am having a bad day.”
“Oh, so this is what you do on your bad days. Make out with Captain McDreamy.” You both stood up.
“Well, that, and you know, carrying around a penis just makes everything seem so shiny and happy.”
“Mmm. Clint said Mallory was wearing your shoes.”
“Yeah. It’s weird, right?”
“I think it’s weird that you care.”
“I think it’s weird.”
From outside, a car swerves. You and Natasha could hear it from inside, causing you to rush out. A man staggered out of the car, clothes soaked in blood, mainly around his crotch. He collapses. Other doctors and nurses followed you out and immediately began checking on him. You immediately knew that the guy was the owner of the penis you had been carrying around all day. The other doctors brought him into a trauma room. You followed, quickly calling security.
“So, what’ve we got?” Gamora asked as she entered.
“Take a look,” you responded.
“What?” She leaned closer. “Alright, let’s get him to OR 1. Y/N, you call the Chief and let him know we got the rapist.”
~~~
You and Natasha were in the OR with Gamora and Stark. They were working on the rapist.
“I saw Mallory,” you said, eyes on the operating table. “You can’t believe the beating that she took. And then to see this…”
“It's like that old saying, you should see the other guy,” Natasha said.
“Okay, kiddos, why are we not attempting to reattach the severed penis?” Dr. Stark asked.
“Teeth don’t slice, they tear. You can only reattach with a clean cut. If she wanted to slice him off with a knife…”
“Besides,” you continued for Natasha, “the digestive juices didn't leave much of the flesh to work with.”
“Right,” Gamora agreed, “so what do we do?”
“Sew him up minus a large part of the family jewels,” Natasha answered.
“And his outlook?”
“He'll be urinating out of a bag for a very, very long time,” Natasha added.
“Oh, too bad.”
“Shame.”
“I can’t imagine not having sex,” Stark commented. “I think that I would just end my life if I couldn’t do a round every day.” Everyone looked at him. “What? It shouldn’t be that surprising.”
“No wonder, Dr. Potts keeps turning you down,” Gamora said.
“I’ll get her one day. Just you wait. I’m going to marry that woman if it’s the last thing I do.”
~~~
You met with the police after the surgery where they told you that they couldn’t send their crime scene guy down for hours. Annoyed, you searched for your intern friends. You found them in the empty corridor, sitting on the beds.
“So, the police say that they can’t send down the crack crime scene guy for hours,” you told them as you entered, sitting down beside Natasha. “So I have to spend the night with a penis. Peter, don’t say it.”
“Ahh, it was too easy anyway,” Peter responded.
“Who here feels like they have no idea what they’re doing?” Scott asked. Everyone of you, but Peter, raised a hand.
“I mean, are we supposed to be learning something?” Clint wondered. “Because I don’t feel like I’m learning anything.”
“Except how not to sleep,” Val added.
“It’s like there’s this wall,” Natasha said, “and the attending and the residents are over there, being surgeons, and we’re over here, being—“
“Suturing, code running, lab delivering penis-minders,” you grumbled.
“I hate being an intern,” Peter stated.
Gamora walked into the hallway, looking expectant. All of you interns quickly got up and took your leave. All the others had things to do, so you found yourself in front of the babies again. As you looked at the baby you’re so worried about, you noticed the parents. Taking a deep breath, you decided to go up to them.
“Hi,” you greeted with a soft smile.
“Hi,” the mother greeted back.
“Is he yours?” You nodded to the baby.
“Yeah,” the mother smiled.
“He’s adorable… Have you noticed anything that would concern you?”
“No,” the father responded. “Have you?”
“Earlier today I noticed him turning blue.”
“Blue?” The mother repeated.
“Yes. I checked him and I heard a murmur.”
“We were told that the murmur was benign,” the father stated.
“I don’t think it is. I think—“
“You are so out of line,” the Peds Intern interrupted.
“She says the murmur might not be benign,” the father said.
“I think we should do an echo, to check,” you suggested.
“This is your career,” the intern said, going to get her resident.
“There’s really no reason to get alarmed,” you told the parents.
“What’s the problem?” The resident asked, coming back with the intern.
“If our baby is sick, we want him treated,” the mother ordered. “Now.”
“Who said your baby was sick?”
“Her,” the Peds Intern answered, pointing to you. “The surgical intern who has no business on our service.”
“Who authorized you being here?”
“I was just,” you began, “actually—“
“I did,” Dr. Banner came up from behind you. “Could you excuse us for a second?” Dr. Banner took the resident to the side, but not far enough for you to not hear. “Are you messing with my intern, Dr. Keener?”
“No, sir,” the resident responded.
Dr. Banner turned back to you and the other intern. “Give me the chart.”
“There’s nothing wrong with him,” the intern said, giving up the chart, “I checked.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“You can guarantee that he is fine, you are 100% sure.”
The intern looked hesitant.
“How sure are you?” The resident questioned.
“I don’t know,” the intern responded. “75%.”
“Not good enough,” Banner said. “He’s my patient now. That okay with you, Dr. K?”
“Absolutely,” the resident responded.
“He can take our patient?” The intern asked.
“He’s an attending.”
“Which means I can do whatever I want,” Banner replied before heading to the parents. “Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, I’m Dr. Banner, head of cardio. We’re going to run some tests and give you an answer within the hour. Excuse me.” He turned to you. “L/N.” He motioned for you to follow, which you quickly did. “I want an EKG, a chest x-ray, and an ECHO. I don’t have all day.”
“You’re a busy man.”
“I’m a busy man.”
You quickly ordered the tests then wandered the hospital more, since you weren’t allowed to do anything while you were watching the penis. After a little while, you found Dr. Banner again.
“Well?” You asked as you walked up to him.
“It’s a birth defect,” Dr. Banner replied. “Tetrology affirmed lower pulmonary artresia. You were right. I'm booking the OR for tomorrow.”
“Thank you for backing me up on this.”
“Whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. You were right. But if you ever pull a stunt like that again...going to the parents behind a doctor's back? Trying to steal a patient from another service? I will make your residency year hell on earth.”
He walked off and you smiled slightly to yourself. You made your way back to the babies, where you watched, from the other side of the window, Banner talk to the parents.
“His heart surgery is scheduled for the morning,” the Peds Intern told you. “I really did think I was right, you know.”
“I know. We almost never are. We're interns,” you responded. “We're not supposed to be right. And when we are, it's completely shocking.”
“Are you— I mean, being an intern, do you feel…”
“Terrified. 100% of the time.”
“Good, it’s not just me.”
“No.”
You decided, after finishing up with the babies, to go check on Mallory. When you arrived, you realized that Steve was still in there.
“How is she?” You asked, standing in the doorway.
“No change,” Steve answered with a sigh.
“Have you been here all night?”
“Mm-hmm. Yup… If I was in a comma, I’d want someone to be here. I know I would have people there. Having no one? Can’t imagine that.”
“I can.”
“Don’t you have any family?”
“I do. Just… I don’t think they’d come.”
Steve watched you carefully before speaking again. “So… we’re kissing but we’re not dating?”
“I knew that was going to come up.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I like the kissing. I’m all for the kissing. More kissing, I say.”
“I have no idea what that was about.”
“Is it going to happen again? Because if it is, I need to bring breath mints. Put a condom in my wallet.”
“Shut up now.” Steve laughed. “There was this baby up in the nursery. He's brand new. No one's neglected him or damaged him yet. How do we get from there to here? She's wearing my shoes and someone's beat the crap out of her, and she's got nobody.”
Suddenly, Mallory’s machine’s began beeping. You quickly hit an alarm on the wall.
“Her ICP’s double, get an OR!” Steve yelled. “Put her in for a craniotomy!”
~~~
You waited outside the OR, still watching over the stupid penis, while Steve operated on Mallory. You were nervous for her and felt bad that no one was there for her. Once the surgery was over, Steve exited the OR, walking past you. When he noticed you were there, he turned back.
“Hey,” he greeted. “I, uh, I had to leave her skull flap off, till the pressure in her brain goes down.”
“She’s not going to make it, is she?” You asked.
“She’s going to be fine.”
“If she ever wakes up.”
Steve nodded. “If she ever wakes up.” You nodded, biting your lip as you looked away. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.” Your pager went off. You looked down to see it was the Chief. “I’ve gotta go. That’s the Chief. Maybe I can finally get rid of this thing.” You lifted the cooler slightly.
“Yeah,” Steve chuckled. “Good luck.”
~~~
“So here is where you put the signature, down here, the initials,” Fury’s assistant pointed out on a paper.
“Mmm,” you hummed with a nod, taking the paper and pen from her. “Okay.”
“It just says that the penis was never out of your sight.”
“Of course.” You sighed and handed over the paper. “There you go. One penis.” You glanced at the clock and realized that it was time for the baby’s surgery. “Am I all done here? I kinda want to go watch a surgery.”
“Sure.”
You tried to rush, but not rush, to the OR Dr. Banner was working in. When you arrived, you found a spot in the back.
“We'll be using a medium approach for a trans-ventricular repair with a right ventriculostomy,” Banner explained. “Let’s open him up. L/N!” He looked around for you.
“Yes, sir?” You replied.
“Go scrub in. When we've finished cracking the baby's chest, I'll let you hold the clamp.”
“Seriously?” You tried to contain your excitement.
“Don’t make me change my mind.”
You rushed to scrubbed in. And, let’s just say, holding onto that clamp was a rush and just what you needed to help brighten your shift. After that, you went to watch the babies, Val, Clint, and Scott all joining you.
You let out a sigh. “Okay, fine,” you relented. “You guys can move into the house.”
“Yes! Yes!” The guys shouted.
“I can’t believe you caved!” Val laughed.
“I can’t believe it either,” you mumbled, trying to hide the smile.
~~~
You changed out of your scrubs and stared at the shoes in your locker. You couldn’t stop thinking about how weird it was that you had decided to wear those shoes today. With determination, you shut the locker on your shoes and went to the elevator. Steve was there waiting.
“So… it’s intense…” he started. “This thing I have for, ah, ferry boats… I mean.”
You smiled at him. “I’m so taking the stairs this time.” You walked off.
“No self-control,” he called after you. “It’s sad. Really.” He chuckled to himself as you continued to walk away. “Wow… this is so—“
“Weird. It’s weird,” Dr. Stark came up, ready to go too. “Like I said before, that look is bad news. And you—“
“Didn’t I already tell you to shut it Tony?”
“Fine.” Tony held his hands up. “But, seriously, don’t come crying to me when it all blows up in your face.”
next chapter >
NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2​​. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.
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gureishi · 3 years
Note
okay so~ this HC request is for both saeyoung and GE saeran (vee relationship deal)
so i have this huge white bunny plushie (i'll probably send you a picture of it in DMs). i've had it for a very long time, probably since i was a very little kid. i don't think i'll ever give it away lolol. i go back and forth between just letting it sit around and actually using it, and by "using it" i mean:
i tend to sleep on my side, and i'll wrap my arms (and sometimes my legs) around that thing and hold it securely when i go to sleep. a lot of times, i sorta need to hold onto something when i sleep? or like, have my hand under the pillow (which is still kinda holding it, if you think about it). and so the bunny is great for that. and... i may or may not've put saeyoung's jacket on it a couple of times hehe 👉🏻👈🏻 cos that way i get to hold both! (though i definitely have held just his jacket at least once)
i'll most likely give you a few more details in DMs, but the gist is... what would be their reactions to seeing this? im not exactly ashamed of it but i probably wouldnt do it until i was more comfortable, you know? cos its still kinda... "embarrassing" but on a smaller scale.
[417]
YESSSS I WAS SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS ONE.
As I think I’ve told you, I sleep with a very large stuffed leopard named Liliana. So for anyone who’s wondering: yes, it’s me, my partner, Liliana, and our 50 lb pitbull in the bed every night. It’s...something.
So this is just an excellent scenario and everything about it is good.
Also! I dunno if this is relevant, but I figure that in the world of my fic, the boys each have their own bedrooms. Our MC is sleeping in one room or the other, depending on the night—in my story specifically, she’s still sleeping in Saeran’s room like 75% of the time. But over time, it becomes more even. Anyway.
Ahem as always when I write reader X both twins, they are both dating you but not each other. <3
Saeyoung and Saeran with an MC who sleeps with a huge bunny plushie
If you’re a little bit embarrassed about the bunny, maybe you don’t bring her around at first. Maybe you feel a little guilty leaving her at home (or maybe that’s just me), but you don’t want to start off, from the very beginning, bringing a very large stuffed animal into the picture.
But you are so much more comfortable when you sleep with her in your arms! And somehow she makes her way to the bunker—somehow, you have sat her down in a corner (of Saeran’s room, probably) and left her there.
One night you fall into bed early, because you are absolutely exhausted—and this is rare for you, but your head hurts and you need to close your eyes. And they are still up, both of them (of course they are), and it’s so much better to fall asleep hugging something soft.
So without even really thinking about it, you pull the bunny into bed with you. You are in Saeran’s bed, I think—and your head feels so heavy, and the bunny is nice and warm and squishy in your arms. And sometimes it is hard to fall asleep, but tonight, you drift off quickly.
You wake up to the feeling of eyes on your face—because when he looks at you, you are bathed in such vibrant warmth that it’s enough to rouse you even from a very deep sleep.
“Oh,” you mutter, trying to focus on Saeran’s face through the darkness. “Hi.”
His light eyes trail from your face, to your arms, to what is in your arms. You see him look. You blush.
“Who’s this?” he asks—and his voice is so gentle, so sweet, so full of delighted laughter. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced.”
You mumble something, burying your face in the bunny’s soft fur. Saeran sits on the bed beside you and cups your cheek with one cool hand.
You tell him her name—because what else is there to say?—and he gently pats her head.
“She looks soft,” he says. “Can I hold her?”
He is speaking as if she is a live animal, and his eyes are sparkling as if he feels that she is something very precious. Rubbing your sleepy eyes, you hand Saeran the bunny.
“Ohhh,” he says, as he wraps his arms around her. He lets his face fall into her shoulder, and he squeezes her so gently. It’s really something: his hair is lit up by the moonlight, and he’s got the sweetest smile on his face. The bunny almost completely covers his body—he is not a large human being, after all.
It’s so cute you could cry.
“Would you be upset,” you ask him slowly, “if I took a picture of you right now? I want to try and draw this later.”
He looks up at you; he seems somehow childlike all of a sudden: eyes wide and glittering.
“You want to draw us?” he asks. You nod.
“How could I not?”
He’s thrilled. He’s honored.
He is maybe sleeping with the bunny in his arms that night, if you’ll let him.
So for some time, she lives in Saeran’s room.
But one afternoon, you’re hit with a wave of tiredness. You didn’t sleep well the last couple of nights, and your vision is starting to get hazy. You just need to close your eyes, you think—just for a moment.
Saeran is in the kitchen; Saeyoung is in the garage. And it is so cold in this stupid house, and Saeyoung’s room is always warm. Almost unthinkingly, you wander into Saeran’s room and scoop up the bunny. She’s so soft in your arms that you almost fall asleep on your feet.
You meander into Saeyoung’s room and fall face-first onto the bed, arms and legs wrapped all the way around the bunny. And she is comfy, and the bed is soft, and there are so many pillows...
This time, you wake to the feeling of strong, warm arms weaving around your waist.
Automatically, you squeeze your bunny tighter—in turn, the arms hold you tighter, too. You open your eyes.
It’s still light out—you can’t have been asleep for long. Saeyoung has found you here (drawn to you, as he always seems to be), and has wrapped himself around you. You turn your head to kiss his cheek.
“I wanted cuddles,” he murmurs sleepily into your hair. “But it looks like you already found somebody to cuddle with.”
Ah: caught in the act again.
You laugh, feeling your face growing hot. Saeran loves the bunny, but Saeran loves everything, and—and—
“She’s cute,” Saeyoung whispers into your ear. “Just like you.”
“I’ve had her for ages,” you tell him, wiggling her ears in his face. “I didn’t really mean to bring her in here, but...”
Saeyoung shakes his head, his hair falling into his eyes. He’s taken his glasses off, and he looks particularly sweet and sleepy.
“Listen,” he mutters. Ah—now he is blushing, his cheeks a lovely shade of pink. “When I came in here and found you and this huge bunny asleep in my bed, I...” He trails off, at a loss for words. “It’s just—you’re—”
Ah, and you love him like this, stammering and enraptured. You roll onto your back and smile into his flushed face.
“Oh, are we taking a nap?”
You turn. Saeran has found you, too—they can’t seem to help always drifting into your orbit, the two of them. He’s in the doorway with an amused expression on his face.
“Yeah!” Saeyoung says, wiggling around beside you. “And did you know we have a fourth member of our family?” He cackles, giving the bunny’s head a little pat. Saeran cocks an eyebrow at him.
“I did,” he says proudly. “You didn’t?”
You sigh, turning to hold out your arms to Saeran. He comes to you—of course he does—and folds himself contentedly into your arms.
And there you are, all four of you: you, your two beloved boys, and a very large bunny. 
On one side, Saeyoung is warm and solid. On the other, Saeran is cooler, softer. You’ve got a head on each shoulder, and a comfy bunny in your arms. 
You smell soft, well-loved fur and spring rain and smokey honey. You’re enveloped on all sides: safe and soft and warm.
You close your eyes. Just for a minute, you think—or an hour, or maybe two. 
You could stay right here, wrapped up in their tender adoration, forever.
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