#this is definitely something ngl

[figuringitoutasigoalong]

You ever feel like you're entering a season of preparation? Like, that a decision has been made, and things are being taken care of, but now you have to prepare?

Although I don't make it as obvious on here, I'm not quiet about the fact that I am a Christian. If you're friends with me, you know it. What most people don't know is that the past few years I've felt a disconnect and growing distance. Don't get me wrong, my faith never floundered! But it was like I was wrapped in something that made it hard to see and hard to move, like some sort of shroud.

At first I attributed it to grief over mother's death. Then I chalked it up to stress at work. Then I thought it was the loss of my job. It affected me enough that both my father and sister started to question if I was depressed, which, yeah, maybe I was, a little.

But in truth, while all of the above were factors for sure, at the crux of it, the main problem was, I had let myself slip in my walk with Christ. I went to church. I went to Sunday School. I sang on praise team, taught missions in VBS, showed up for things. But I wasn't connected.

A few weeks ago, I took a break from the internet. For a week, I stayed away, and focused, instead, on my relationship with God. It was a fast of sorts, where instead of thinking about God every time I was hungry, I thought about him every time I went to open Discord, or thought about mindlessly scrolling tumblr. It was honestly a very good thing for me, in so, so many ways, and it helped me reconnect. While I'm still struggling some, it made a big difference.

Last night at church, we prayed for our mission partners. Some are new churches. Some are groups. Some are just people. But during that a clear thought from my heart came across. "I wish I could do that." The moment the thought came across, so clear and articulated, I knew it was true, and it had been for a long time.

Mama always knew that one of us--my sister or me--would be a missionary of some sort. That hadn't seemed to have happened. But if I've learned anything, it's that things don't always happen when we think they should.

I have a very high loyalty to my family. I have always looked out for them, helped to take care of them, felt it was my duty to take care of my family. I've helped raise my little sister. I've been a caregiver for my mother for years at a time. I worry about leaving Dad alone.

None of my jobs have ever worked out long-term. I'm always let go or forced to resign at some point. I work, and I work hard, but I can't seem to keep a job, which is frustrating.

Today, as I was doing my prayer time, I focused for a moment on what my heart had articulated. "I wish I could do that." And that's when it occurred to me.

My sister is married with a family, and wonderful in-laws. She's taken care of.

Mom died three years ago. She's with Christ. She's taken care of.

Dad is dating a great woman, and wants to marry her. He's taken care of.

I'm not locked into a job, like I would have been, if I was still at the school and had gotten tenure.

I'm not married, I have no family of my own, and I'm not even dating.

By all accounts, I have no duties or obligations anymore that hold me in place. Yeah, I'm about to start a new job on the 8th, but it's not the same as a carrier. I'm not tied to it in the same way. Everything that would tie me down, that would keep me in place is taken care of. And this job just fell in my lap.

I don't think everything is ready yet, for whatever is coming. I think that maybe this is all a step. But God is taking care of the things that tie me down, making sure they're cared for. And He's giving me what I need for the moment. I think that I'm entering into a time of preparation. Preparation for what? I'm not sure. Something with missions. How long will I be in preparation? I don't know. Could be a day, could be a decade. I'll find out.

But I think I'm being prepared for something. And it's scary. But it's good. I just need to stay aware, and keep moving forward.

And yes, the fact that I'm realizing this during Passion Week, right before Good Friday, just before Easter, a time of dedication, change, renewal, and celebration, is not lost on me.

But God knows I enjoy some good symbolism, lol!

[raiiny-bay]

the boys, 80s-ified

[galacticsabc]

oh hey, now that the furniture design contest winners have been announced, I can finally show you guys the allagan gamer chair I submitted.

[maenecoon]

tw (mostly mild) depictions of violence and blood, bc it's involves vampires, also major spoilers for a fic im working on rn

so

i may or may not have a vampire kimchay fic idea

except the execution of it is going to have me combusting into flames??

anyways, thoughts about kim finding an annoying baby bat in the forest. he wants to ignore it, but he can't. so fine, he takes it in.

except...

kim definitely doesn't know how to care for a feral bat.

anyways! cue sweet/fluffy/bat-and-vampire shenanigans! like babybat so sated with blood that he becomes a little drunk, or at least the bat-version of drunk. babybat who flies into the window trying to escape because he's not good at echolocatio. babybat who sneaks into kim's closets to bite holes in every single one of his silk shirts.

vampire!kim somehow being whipped af for this cute but annoying little shit that he's somehow adopted. feeds him blood pudding and gives him many head scritches. shows him his red string murder board and rambles about his murder plans and all. vampire!kim who started off detesting or tolerating this pest at best but unable to imagine starting a day without the weight of babybat curled up on his chest.

then the murder plan happens. kim wants korn (his father/sire) dead, bc who doesn't, and he sneaks in to "kill" him.

he's gone in, wooden stake and holy water and all.

he goes bat-shit crazy. bodies of full-sized vampires drop to the floor around them as kim works with ruthless efficiency. he's memorised the techniques of his father's men and their weaknesses. he's dreamed about this for centuries. and it's pays off.

and then enters korn.

korn was always going to be the issue.

kim had no plans of returning alive - he knows to end lorn by all means necessary even if it means his own life - but korn has gotten more powerful. sire bonds are difficult to break, and even if kim has been diluting the bond and doing his absolute best to weaken their link, korn still has kim in an iron grip.

(if you'd read my phayurain vampire fic, there's this thing about sires being able to control their fledglings because of a bond they share when a vampire (sire) turns someone into a vampire (their fledgling). )

anyways.

when suddenly a weight in his pocket starts to stir. it's the little shit, the bat. and kim's all panicked because little shit is small and harmless and now barely the size of half his palm? like, kim's on his knees and has his hands shaking with effort not to plunge the stake into his own chest, by the command of korn.

it takes just a second, but bat flutters out of kim's pocket. bat, with all the rage that a bat can muster, swings himself right on korn's face and digs his fangs into korn's eyes. the eyes are part of what maintains the sire-control that korn has over kim, and kim is able to use that split second to drive the stake into korn's heart.

the moment that korn falters, falling to the ground with a thud, is the moment that the bat drops to the floor.

kim thinks like yeah, fuck, that must've taken a lot out of this poor baby bat, and god that fall looked bad, when all of a sudden the bat is expanding. almost like his bones are breaking (and kim winces because that sounds anguishing) and reforming and he keeps growing bigger and bigger and bigger until kim realised that this was no bat.

this was a vampire, trapped in the form of a bat.

this is his fledgling, his fledgling who was supposed to have died.

chay.

yeah anyways!! fun little story that i'm working on rn!! lmk what you think/want to see, if you got to the end of this! !

[surrealsunset]

my page for @dgm20thproject that i forgot to post...! i worked on the glitch effects on this until the very anguish of this page was screaming at me straight into my burnt out retinas lol

[dirtychainsawconfessions]

I need Drayton to choke me and call me a dumb girl. I'm not normal about him.

[afropearl]

key points from this thread on X 🎀

work out as soon as you wake up, for at least an hour, 6 days a week

visit a sauna daily for 20 mins {im sure you can substitute this for soaking in a hot bath}

cold showers in the morning

daily lymphatic drainage {gua sha, dry brushing, massages}

eat whole foods and cut processed foods

get a full 8 hours of sleep each night

1 gallon/3L a day

prioritize your skin and body care

[velaraffricate]

so I've been working on my latest conlang, irkan osla (or just osla for short), for a bit now and would like to showcase its writing system in this post! osla has a syllabic alphabet, not too dissimilar to korean hangul, where letters are stacked according to certain rules to make syllable blocks.

osla's syllable structure is (C)(C)V(V)(C), here's how the stacks work for each type of syllable:

all letters have small, wide, and tall forms depending on their position in the syllable. here are all the letters with their IPA value and romanization:

and here's an example text! i translated parts of the minecraft end poem into osla. maybe i'll make another post just focusing on the grammar when it's more developed. the poem says in english:

What did this player dream? This player dreamed of sunlight and trees. Of fire and water. It dreamed it created. And it dreamed it destroyed. It dreamed it hunted, and was hunted. It dreamed of shelter.

Does it know that we love it? That the universe is kind? Sometimes, through the noise of its thoughts, it hears the universe, yes.

this post is getting long, so under the cut you'll find a "sans-serif" version as well as the poem in osla and its gloss if you're also a linguistics nerd and wanna know what's going on under the hood (the roman numerals stand for the 3 noun classes)! thanks for reading!

The way regular people would write something quickly on a piece of paper with a regular pen is an aspect of creating neographies that I feel is often overlooked, so I developed this sans-serif version that people would probably be more likely to use when writing their shopping lists or diary entries:

And, finally, here's the poem translation:

pak oṇḍul phan wimbakis?

DET.I.SG.PROX play-AGN what dream-PST.3SG.I?

pak oṇḍul lümaṇiuṣerothi han buloni an wimbakis. kaṣkhaothi han nilothi an. wimbakis, run sëmamkis. wimbakis, run xokthakis, han bumxokthakis. zöga an wimbakis.

DET.I.SG.PROX play-AGN sunlight-II.SG.DAT and tree-II.PL.DAT of dream-PST.3SG.I. Fire-II.SG.DAT and water-II.SG.DAT of. dream-PST.3SG.I, that create-PST.3SG.I. dream-PST.3SG.I, that hunt-PST.3SG.I, and PASS-hunt-PST.3SG.I. shelter of dream-PST.3SG.I.

ṭauraka, run kaak samare? run glutsüna flia?

know-NP.3SG.I, that 3SG.I.ABS love-NP.1PL? that universe kind?

imba ethamo, khaṣiŋli an ka’am hu’aŋni pitë, glutsüna ṣaraka, ti.

some time-NOM.III.PL, noise-ACC.II.SG of 3SG.I.GEN thought-NOM.III.PL through, universe hear-NP.3SG.I, yes.

[hyunsvngs]

hihi! i mean this in the most respectful and simply curious way possible - do u ever feel weird writing/reading smut about real people? i’ve been thinking about this lately and idk how to feel.. it seems a little morally questionable? the more i think abt it the more objectifying and disrespectful it is to me.. but i also do read a lot of it so idk😭😭. i’m really not trying to hate!!! i’m just wondering💕

i don't really give a bart to be honest

[moonlightperseus]

you're laughing. i got invited to a fucking beauty pageant and you're laughing. because i was already laughing when i told you about it. we're laughing together. fuck beauty pageants

[moodr1ng]

i always say im able-bodied bc i feel like it best describes my General Lived Experience but i do have that like. thing in my legs where if i walk briskly for some distance (like 500 meters) i get this crushing pain in my whole lower legs which gets worse and worse if i keep walking until i eventually have to sit down for a few minutes and wait for it to go away. which im still trying to get diagnosed bc so far artery scans and muscle ultrasounds render nothing. and ngl it is like, an issue often enough and is a pretty bothersome thing when it happens (like not only bc its extremely painful but also having to find some place to sit down in the middle of the street and having to stay there a while isnt awesome) so im not entirely sure "able-bodied" fully describes me but i also am not sure its a disability bc we dont know wtf it is. so i guess im kind of in a weird inbetween where i err on the side of just assuming its not a disability and its just like, an annoying body thing..

[raiiny-bay]

new character page wip

[annabellelupin]

"mare x maven is such an amazing ship and not toxic at all"

they literally try to kill each other on like five different occasions

mare emotionally and mentally manipulates maven every chance she gets

maven emotionally scarred mare so bad she gets cptsd and starts over analyzing every human interaction just so she doesn't get hurt again

mare kills maven (need I say more???)

maven locks mare up for months instead of just doing the smart thing and killing her because his obsession is so bad and overwhelmingly toxic he can't let go of a person that hates him so fucking much

mare x maven is one of the most toxic ships there is in any fandoms I'm in and it's so ridiculous that it's as popular as it is (cal and mare are pretty toxic too but it's not nearly as bad as mare x maven)

[kelpeigh]

You can't ever have an American version of Doctor Who like how there are American versions of The Office and Ghosts, because an American Doctor would have a gun to kill any conceivable threat throughout time and space on him at all times

And then you'd just have Supernatural

[eepy-samzie]

S2 LESSON 24 SPOILERS

~

"When I look at you, I can see what's going through your head, even if you don't actually say it. That's right."

(I enjoyed this interaction more than I'd like to admit uhhmm 👉👈)

just imagining asmo and mc in a relationship. they exchange notes like this all the time.

i might've become a bit unhinged myself uh. nsfw warning.

one time MC was particularly focused on a lesson, until a balled-up piece of paper lands at the edge of their desk. not wanting to get scolded by the professor, they snatch it up and hide it under their desk. with a fluttering excitement in their stomach, MC unfolds the note and senses that faint, familiar scent of asmodeus' perfume. looking through it, the fluttery feeling subsides, gradually replaced by a feverish warmth.

in-depth descriptions of debauchery within, somehow, go perfectly with cutely drawn hearts in pink glitter ink. at some point they realise— what they're reading were exact retellings of scenarios that kept them up and bothered the night before, told from a perspective that definitely wasn't theirs. only their asmo would provide, in such detail, the way MC's things quivered, being held down, as his head hit against that sweet, sweet spot inside, the way their mouth hung open in a silent scream as they came for him again. teasing them over wanting asmodeus to use their mouth as his personal fuck-hole. calling his MC soooo naughty for ignoring him over his brothers all day, then pleasuring themselves to the thoughts of him fucking their brains out back at cocytus hall. tsk-tsk 🩷

asmodeus felt every single thought that went through his sweetheart's cute little head, and next time, instead of trying to hide it... why won't they visit him if they wish make it all a reality?

with ears burning hot, MC sneaks glances behind them to watch asmodeus diligently write away in his notebook, humming faintly to himself. yet, they could swear, every time they tried focusing on the lesson once more, MC felt a pair of golden eyes burning through the back of their neck.

[mad-hunts]