#this is including trigger warning things as well btw

[ruindunburnit]

With NoHoper Part I hopefully coming out soon, the next thing I need to do is sort out the tagging!

I don't thing I've posted a fic on AO3 in a long time, so, what things should I tag for? Please let me know what you think!

[oneshotnewbie]

Hello! I hope you're well :)

Would you so kindly be able to do an Emily Prentiss x victim child!reader where reader is kind of young, maybe like between 6-10 and they've been held captive by the UnSub for weeks now and when the team finally finds the location, reader has gone mute and very cautious/scared of everyone and only allows (to an extent) Emily near them? Since she's the one who first finds them? Emily is very patient and comforts reader even if they don't speak and such. But reader eventually becomes comfortable enough to speak again, using short sentences and few words with Emily (maybe even some other team members, too).

Emily could possibly take them in but that part can be up to you!

I can't wait to see more of your work btw, you're so good!! Thx! Xoxo 💘

⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️ This one-shot includes the topics of abuse, trauma, child neglecting, punishments and the plots are presented. If this triggers you too easily or you just can´t handle the subject, I urge you NOT to read this work. I am NOT embellishing this topic under any circumstance. Read at your own risk.

Authors note: I have tried my best to accommodate this request. I have to say that I changed the request a little because I didn't want to write a 6 year old child being kidnapped by a stranger, so I just had to do it with the father who has a criminal record. I also had to shorten it and basically skip a period of time in order to fulfill the second part of the request. I hope it is still okay. Also had to split it into two parts, Tumblr wouldn't let me post it all at once ♥

ᕚ---ᕘ

Walls. Excessive tightness.

You did not know how long you had been in that closet, and you did not want to know either. Far too exhausted from all the panic attacks and the walls threatening to crush you. Your stomach was growling like it had been ever since your father decided to punish you for everything you did.

Your hands were shaking, your eyes were glassy, but you were long past crying. That only made things worse. Your father knew no mercy, and certainly not for his scared and crying little daughter.

Sometimes you imagined what it would be like if you actually suffocated in that closet. Better to suffocate from the reducing air than to be suffocated by your own father. You would not grow old, you would not reach the age of 10. You were sure of that. You were convinced that something would happen to you before your next birthday. But so far you had gotten older every year and every birthday you were sure that it would be your last.

Your father would not let you sleep in your bed anymore, but at least today it was in the closet and not in the gazebo that you had to sleep in. It was late autumn and in the arbor, the roof of which had tiny holes, there was a risk of hypothermia and finally freezing to death. Your hand, which was squeezed between the closet door and your thigh, had now fallen asleep and despite your constant shaking, you felt immensely hot. You noticed your face starting to glow again- you had a fever from the cold that blew through the room at night. You carefully pulled your hand out from under your leg, hitting your head on one of the wooden insert panels of the shelves, causing a dull thud as it came loose and fell onto your body.

Your heart skipped a beat before stopping briefly, you squinted for a moment, hoping that the noise had gone unnoticed and that your father had disappeared from his guarding position in front of the closet and was downstairs in front of the TV. But then you heard footsteps, quiet and muffled through the ajar door and the wood that surrounded you. It sounded nothing like your father and his firm, jagged steps and you begged that you had not misheard and were now in for a lot of trouble.

The door creaked and your breathing became increasingly quicker. You did not mishear. You closed your eyes tightly, trying to calm yourself and prepare yourself for what was to come. If your father saw you so upset, he might keep you here longer or deny you food for the next few days.

The key turned in the lock that locked the two doors together and you heard them slowly open, but did not dare to look outside. The fear of provoking your father when you greedily gasped for fresh air and light was too great. You felt a slight breeze on your bare shoulders and cheeks. Still, you kept your eyes closed, hoping to avoid your fate.

Instead of your father's disapproving shouts and rough hands that would normally drag you out of the closet, there was only a careful, barely noticeable touch on your shoulder. When you raised your eyes, you saw a strange woman with black hair. "Hey, sweetie. I am from the police, you are safe now," the older woman's eyes were glassy. She seemed unsettled, as if she was afraid of breaking you with one wrong move, as if you were made of delicate mass. "You can come out now, your father can not hurt you anymore."

You nodded and a few moments later she had pulled you out of the closet, carefully and slowly so as not to hurt you, and immediately drawn you into her arms. You just let it happen, completely unable to understand that this was a foreign woman you were clinging to.

Your father had forbidden you from speaking to strangers and your fear of upsetting your dad was huge. But something about her voice made you give in. "I am Emily. What is your name?" she asked and rubbed your back soothingly, your courage to speak failing you. When the rest of her team stormed into the room a moment later and looked down at you in front of the open door, you panicked and shook yourself away from her before returning to the closet where you felt safe.

A hand signal directed to Derek and Hotch, they disappeared silently from the bare room with the remaining SWAT workers and left her alone with you. It took some time for you to gain confidence and crawl out of the wooden wardrobe again. The young woman had talked her head off with various topics in order to give you a feeling of reassurance.

You followed Emily's hand movements carefully, and at the sight of the little package of gummy bears, your mouth watered and your stomach began to make itself known. "Someone is really hungry!" She whispered and smiled softly before opening the small package and holding it out to you.

You carefully sat up, occasionally glancing at the door so that you could move back into the closet as quickly as possible in case of an emergency. But nothing happened. The black-haired woman pointed uncertainly but grinning at the package. "The green ones are my favorite. And what are yours?" you rummaged through the tiny package with your fingers until you held a red gummy bear between your fingers and showed it to her. "The red ones? Uhh, they are yummy!"

You jumped away while the first bite, she had raised her hand too quickly. She shook her head, swallowing hard. Emily had not thought for a split second. “Can I feel your forehead?”she asked after a short hesitation and you nodded, afraid of upsetting her like your father, granting her permission.

She gently placed her hand on your sweat-covered forehead. You were feverish. She slowly lowered her hand carefully again and watched you as you hesitantly gnawed on a gummy bear. Your father did not like it when you just wolfed down your food and often had taken it away when fell into a deep hunger.

Emily continued to watch you, her eyes sad and exhausted. You cocked your head, wondering if you had done something wrong. When your eyes met for a moment, you hesitantly reached for her free hand and placed her favorite gummy bear in her palm.

You found a kind of care and hope in her presence. Hope that you can still lead a normal life and never be locked in the closet by your father again. Emily caught the very first smile you gave her before you stood up and carefully fell into her arms. "Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?" she giggled softly, her heart swelling and beginning to pound wildly.

"No,"

Surprisingly, she widened her eyes while keeping her mouth wide open. After hours spent in this cold room with only forensics downstairs doing their work, she had finally managed to hear your gentle and childlike voice.

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, semifinals of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu:

you've got the founder of the fantasy ancient Chinese CIA and the leader of what is essentially the mafia and then they're soulmates and in love. they're both willing to kill anyone who dares hurt the other while also just wanting a soft domestic life together

Zhou Zishu is an assassin and spymaster who put the current Emperor on the throne, and then quit his job by faking his death (kinda, hes still dying but not as fast as he was supposed to). Had done A Lot on his old job, including murdering children (more than one, and at least one of them in a way I can't even describe without several trigger warnings), exterminating whole families, war crimes (and i dont mean this in a buzzword way, i mean "organized a public execution of foreign diplomats during war time")… btw he doesn't feel particularly bad about any of this, because he believes it was necessary. Like he wouldn't do it for fun, but he thinks the ends (putting a good Emperor on the throne) justified the means (all of the atrocities). As a retiree, he definitely cut down on the amount of morally reprehensible murder, but not murder in general. He still routinely kills ppl, he just doesn't go out of his way to kill more. Wen Kexing, meanwhile, is the Ghost Valley Master - Ghost Valley being a place where the worst of criminals are exiled. Even in such a place, he has reputation as a complete lunatic, owed partially to the fact that he either skinned a man or fed him his own flesh or both at one point, and partially to him having a rule where he would kill anyone who came closer than 3 meters to him. But in truth, everything he'd done was to survive the Ghost Valley and eventually take revenge for his parents, who were brutally murdered when he was only nine. By the start of the novel's timeline, he put his plan in motion - the plan that would drown jianghu in blood, but also deliver poetic justice to all responsible for his parents' deaths, as well as all who'd commit the same crime given the chance. And these two men, these two murderers and schemers, meet - and unexpectedly, find in each other the person who /understands/. The person who is just as ruthless and whose hands are just as bloody, but also the person who knows standing at the top of the world is not worth it, who seeks the same freedom of leaving it all behind, and who is still, underneath it all, a human, with human heart seeking connection. So you have this couple who understand each other with barely a word, and who want the same things - who are so hungry for domesticity and for people they can just goof around with when all their lives they had to measure every step and word - but ALSO where one half a couple is like "i gotta go murder hundreds in revenge" and the other half is like "ok pick you up at 6". (This btw is why I'm submitting novel's iteration of the couple in particular. Show wenzhou with their ridiculous breakups over morality could Never.) Also they were both hiding who they are when they first met, and later flirted about having figured each other out. Finally, I'll leave you my favorite quote that just. perfectly sums up their relationship: "And just like that, they fell asleep in each other's arms, steeped in the smell of blood."

You’ve probably already had submissions for them but I’ll add on. One of them founded an assassin’s guild and killed a staggering number of people. His malewife is the leader of a sect of insane murderous outcasts, and he attained his position by proving to be the most crazy and murder happy of them all. Most of the plot involves him wandering around watching his schemes get more people killed. Together they adopt a kid that was only orphaned due to said scheming (oops). They’re terrible and I love them.

For Legolas and Gimli:

They literally have a running competition between the two over who has more kills. And non-canon my ass, Legolas took Gimli to valinor

They kill alot of orcs together. They make it into a competition. Better minds than i have spoken about the couple ness

[fullsunised]

hii!! can i request maybe scenarios or bullet points (whichever you like) of things dreamies would do with their partner? like fluffy and all. ty btw i like what you write <3

𝙉𝘾𝙏 𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙈¹⁹: 𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗗𝗢𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗬𝗢𝗨

genre: fluff

trigger warnings: none

a/n: well hope this is what you wanted and thank you for loving my work </3 i love you sm. I did the top 3 things types and have included like affection types as well bro idfk what I made anyways. jungkook is so leng bro.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗟𝗘𝗘 ❞

late night calls. cause he's so busy, he absolutely adores talking to you over calls especially after a long day. just the thought of you being there for him is enough for him. yall just be talking about anything fr, from gossips, complains to how the day has been going, anything fr.

music. making music, listening to music, writing lyrics all that. he loves spending time with you doing what he loves the most- if you share the same passion, that's great because he's coming to you for help a lot and that. sharing playlists, listening to your favourite songs.

calling each other dude and bro. those are endearing terms for both of you. it's funny how easily you two do it, making everyone else doubt if you're actually dating but nah that's so normal in your part. you'd be calling him dude and bro everytime you have to make a point and him doing the same to catch your attention. of course there are occasional baby, and babe slipped in.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗝𝗨𝗡 𝗛𝗨𝗔𝗡𝗚 ❞

painting skies with you. bro loves the company of you and the setting sun, calms his mind like no other. your sessions consist of you two making fun of each other's drawings, talking about life, future, present- or sometimes its just quiet, where yall are enjoying each other's presence.

watching moomin. even if you aren't actually watching it, the show just plays in the background while you two talk softly. these usually happen during nights, right before both of you are about to sleep. yk just the peace and quiet, with moomin in the background. thats it, that's heaven for him.

holding hands. he loves it man. just how perfectly your hands fit in his. he's just going about on his day, your hand in his when he suddenly kisses your hand, happy that you're by his side all the time, even if not physically. his favourite type of pda.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗝𝗘𝗡𝗢 𝗟𝗘𝗘 ❞

gyming. although he isn't much into working out all the time, he loves going to the gym with you. like one of them routines yall have atleast thrice a week to keep both of you fit. he helps you with your workouts, and that.

watching anime. considering how bro loves one piece, yall be watching it most of the time (me fr). it wouldn't be just one piece it would be a lot of airing animes, that you two talk to your fans about on lives causing them to ship you two lmao.

having your arms around him. this is not an activity but boy loves it when you rest your arms on him or like touch him even slightly. makes him feel secure, and confirms the fact for him constantly that you're there for him.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗛𝗔𝗘𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗟𝗘𝗘 ❞

gaming. boy is gaming 24/7, so he expects you to do so with him as well. both of you are either competing with each other, or teaming up to beat others but either way that's his favourite pass time activity to do with you.

you sitting on his lap. just like how jeno likes you touching him constantly, my sun likes you on his lap especially on those days when you are lazy and don't feel like gaming, he loves you on his lap, watching him play while giving him ideas and that. boy plays 200 times better like that.

making playlists. yall would probably have like a playlist for every occasion and situation. oh someone is crying, play the sad songs, someone is mad play the angry playlist..yall do this so much that others find you bare annoying but it's your source of entertainment.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗡 𝗡𝗔 ❞

cooking. you'd cook, he'd watch- or he'd cook you'd watch, or both of you will cook and make a mess out of the whole kitchen but in the end yall will be making dishes that are meant for the books- cooking is a natural talent for you two. he's on a day off, he's over your house and you two are cooking every meal for the day together.

watching horror films. you know how much he loves watching them. even if you're scared to death, he'd make sure you sit, tugging onto his arm while he watches it with no soul whatsoever. like what's the point of watching it, he loves ridiculing you and cooing at your cute self everytime you get scared.

baby talking. constantly. every single time. all the week. boy just speaks like that naturally, and being around him most of the time had you develop this alien ability. you despise doing it but do it unconsciously. his members eye you two weirdly as soo as you start doing that.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗡𝗟𝗘 𝗭𝗛𝗢𝗡𝗚 ❞

basketball. even if you suck, you'd be on your way home and boy is gonna see a court, pulls the car, and plays a match with you. loves making fun of you for your mistakes, would even take multiple videos of you playing and posting it on his insta or weibo.

touching knees. bro that's so hot, but listen he needs that physical contact. if you're ever sitting next to each other, instead of being over the top with holding hands or sm like that, he'd subtly just lean his leg towards you, and you do the same until your knees touch. reassurance you get me.

learning girl group choreos. New song is out, he's sharing it with you, with a comment saying 'let's learn this'. or you are blasting tiktoks onto his account, sharing one for every dance you want to learn. and then, at home yall play the song and teach it to yourselves, later uploading it

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗝𝗜𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 ❞

netflix. watching every show there is on that streaming site. yall don't even hesitate with what you have to watch, just find smth and play it- and definitely get invested in the show. that's how jisung knows almost every show to exist. because you force him to watch them all with you.

nuzzling into necks. his favourite thing of all time bro. even if he's meters tall than you, he's plopping himself onto your lap, and nuzzling his head into your neck. down bad fr. he loves breathing in your scent, makes him feel safe fr.

comparing sizes of hands. bro is laughing at you for how small your fingers are, but internally he's dying of cuteness. how can you be so cute bruh. boy is taking pictures like multiple to save them as his lockscreen and that.

©️FULLSUNISED.

[raenizza]

"I'm Right Here."

Summary: Jey Uso quickly comforts Reader after experiencing a panic attack.

Word Count: 1,208

Trigger Warnings: This work contains content that includes symptoms of panic attacks/disorders.

Author’s Note: Hi Loves, so I’ve decided to switch it up a bit and write a Jey comfort oneshot. I feel like it is well-needed during this time around. Please Enjoy and Leave feedback (I love reading y’all’s comments btw <3)

~~

Bills. Bills. Bills. Work. Work. Work. 

That’s all you’ve been thinking about for the past month. The number of things that need to get done, the time it takes for said things, and most importantly how it all will affect you and your future. 

It’s already bad enough that the house needs renovating once again and that the entire process alone is physically draining you. From hiring contractors to getting in contact with the city for a permit, shit is getting more and more difficult by the day. Let’s not forget your academic plan on getting your master's degree, adding more pressure to the plate.

All this circles your mind as you sit in your bedroom deep in thought. The worst part about it is that you’re not even sure if it's going to be worth it in the end. 

 Everything sounds so good in theory but to put the actual work in seems so overwhelming. You start to think about your marriage and how that will play a part in your future. You want to do what makes you happy but what kind of sacrifices will that make? And how will affect the way your husband may feel? Or most importantly, how you will feel?

All this worrying started to cave in on you as you looked outside your window, watching Jey mow the lawn and gather materials in the garden. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of nausea and chills as you overlook the things going on in your life. The very thought of you losing the love of your life triggered something in you. Losing Jey was the very last thing on your mind because you know how much he loves you. 

You start thinking of yourself as useless as they come comparing the things you do for him and vice versa. Your breathing heavied and your hands started to tremble at the very thought. You quickly shift your body around, back against the wall facing the side of the bed. You then heard the back door opening from downstairs, you pulled down onto the floor in shame.

Jey had decided to take a 15-minute break after doing some garden work and wanted to check in and see how you were doing.

“BABE!!” Jey screams from downstairs. He looked around in the kitchen for you and then the living room. It was pure silence. He walked up to the bottom of the staircase.

“BABY!! YOU UPSTAIRS??!!” Once again. Met with silence. Jey figured something wasn’t right. 

He walked into the bedroom and heard something in the far left corner. As he walked in closer, he sees you on the floor hyperventilating by the window.

Jey comes sprinting to you, coddling you as quickly as possible. “BABY??” he screamed out to you as he knelt down to your level.

“Baby take a deep breath.” You couldn’t believe what was happening to your body. Everything just happened so fast. One moment you’re standing up and now you’re on the floor. You couldn’t even hear anything, just Jey’s voice muffled in the background as you looked around the space near you.

“Baby!! Y/N/!”

“I- … I-..I-” you gasped out. Unable to get a single word in.

“Baby, look just Breathe.”

“Breathe in!!” Jey says to you. You can finally hear him a bit more clearly. So you quickly breathed in for a second.

“Now Breathe Out!!” Following suit you did just as. Jey looks into your eyes as he repeats it to you a couple more times. 

“One more time.” 

“That’s it, you got it, baby girl,” Jey reassures you every which way he can. 

“Just mimic me alright?” as he placed your hand on his chest. 

Then Jey starts to ground you a bit, this is not his first rodeo, so he begins to get tangible . You, on the other hand, still looking around the room instead of him, scared and not knowing what to even do at this point. Your hands are trembling so bad he decided to take them into his and massaged them slowly.

“Baby look here.” Jey points to one of his tattoos on his left arm.

“You see this tattoo right here?  You see how this one curves up?” Your eyes dart straight to his brown skin.

Jey knows you love his tattoos, especially the ones on his arms and chest. You lay on his chest every single night before bed caressing, tracing, and admiring them with each and every single detail. This is what calms you down. This is what brings you back.

“ Look at this one right up here.” He then points to the one above it. 

“This one…this one means peace baby. You bring peace to me.” Hands still trembling, your fingers hovered over his tattoo, making contact. 

“Now this one” he points to another. Your index finger just slightly grazing on it. The sounds of your pounding heart lower.

“This one right here, I got for you. This one means that you are everything to me and so much more.” He says to you in a soft and gentle manner. 

“It symbolizes my love for you.” From fingertips, to now full hand placed on the tattoo. It was the only one on his arm that was colored in,  your favorite color to be exact.

Jey watched you work your way up his arm, as your breathing slowed and posture relaxed. Even your face softened. You closed your eyes for a brief moment, letting a tear drop fall as you slid your hand up and down his tatted arm.

“I’m so sorry.” you whispered to him.

“It’s okay baby. Don’t apologize.” He says to you as he held your arms.

“I’m all here.” Jey reassures once more. Causing the chills that took over your body once upon a time to disappear, feeling warmth and comfort to his words. After a moment of breathing and quietness, you opened your eyes darting right back on his tattoos.

“It’s okay baby, you can look up at me.” Jey places his index on underneath your chin guiding your face to align with his.

“What’s troubling you?”

“Every…thing” you said lowly. 

“Baby I understand that shit may seem a bit overwhelming, especially with the renovations and everything in between-”

“It’s not just that. I just…I just don’t feel like I am enough.” you pleaded to him.

“Like…like I’m not enough for you-” 

“No. no baby, you are always enough for me. Don’t ever say no shit like that, okay.” 

“I love you for who you are and the kind of love that you give is out of this world and I am forever grateful. Do you understand?” Jey, not breaking eye contact, kisses you deeply and passionately. 

“Mmmkay? I Love you baby, and I ain’t going anywhere. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever.” 

“I will always be yours, no matter what.” Jey hugs you tight and then proceeds to kiss your forehead. He picked you up off the ground and headed to the bed. Laying on his back with your head placed right on his chest. With his exposed chest and through his sweaty white tank top, you traced more of his tattoos on his right breast.

“You promise?’

“I promise.”

[sunnynwanda]

Hi, sorry to bother!

I’ve had this idea lately but I wondered if you would like to write it, feel free to ignore it if it doesn’t convince you btw

Pet hero whumpee but not the docile type of pet, more like superhero/supervillain has conditioned/deshumanized them to be like some sort of rabid, aggresive pet that attacks anyone who isn’t their “owner”

Maybe they’ve been missing for some time already and when villain (or any other character you want to) finds them, they worry about the fact that hero is attacking them and doesn’t seem to recognize them at all

I hope you’re having a nice day✨✨✨

Master

Warning: dehumanisation, conditioning, pet whump and everything that comes with it, mentions of physical and psychological abuse, grafic injuries, suffocation, blood, gore, murder. I have no idea how I wrote this. Please do not interact if any of those might be triggering for you.

The door opens with a taunting creak, the sound reverberates off the empty walls. Villain takes a tentative step in, glancing around for any traps. The apartment looks perfect in its apparent abandonment - not a thing out of place, no sign of a fight or kidnapping. Hero had been gone for a little over three months. Just like that, no traces left behind, no warnings - nothing. It's like they vanished into thin air. Evaporated. Villain didn't know why or where they went. They had no idea who to contact or what to do about Hero's sudden disappearance. The only thing Villain did know was they missed their nemesis. 

Oh, they missed Hero like crazy. 

They still recalled the brawl they had the day before. Villain was attempting to cause a riot in the city stadium for the fun of it; Hero had been their ordinary cheeky self as well. Nothing new to the usual scheme of things. They took turns delivering the blows and tumbled around a bit; Villain ended up restrained against a wall and accepted temporary defeat despite being capable of obliterating the entire stadium - Hero included - with a flick of their wrist. Both were accustomed to the game plan and felt no need to deviate. The next day, Villain seized a bank and demanded Hero's presence - per standard procedure.

Except, Hero never came. 

They robbed the bank despite not needing the money and departed in a sour mood because nothing was supposed to be of more importance than their battles. Villain expected Hero to return the next day and intended to make them apologise relentlessly for such disrespect.

Needless to say, that wish never came true. 

After a week of waiting in vain, Villain started suspecting something was off. They spent the following weeks in search of any clues to decipher Hero's mysterious disappearance, any clues that could lead them to Hero's whereabouts - to no avail. 

That is, until today. Villain pulls the letter out of the envelope and unfolds it. An invitation to Superhero's estate. Villain hums, scrunching their nose. That's the last place they want to go to, but at this point, they'll resort to anything to find Hero.

Little did they know that finding Hero would be the least of their concerns.  

Villain exits the apartment, making their way outside the city right away. A deep-set sense of anxiety pushes them forward, a feeling of urgency and despair. They can't comprehend what it is yet, the idea building in their subconscious mind, but they can tell it's bad. They can tell it's entirely vile.

Villain doesn't bother announcing their arrival, instead sneaking over the high fences and past the numerous guards. They walk into the manor, darting past the hounds that roam the first floor, and climb to the second floor, where Superhero's study is. Their hands shake with dreadful anticipation. 

Villain pushes the door open, and in the same instant, something lunges at them. Their first guess is that it's another dog, but the assumption soon proves untrue. The creature withdraws at the sound of a whistle, skipping back to the leg of its master.  

"Good boy," Superhero smiles, brushing Hero's hair the wrong way. Villain watches in shock as Hero turns their head to the side, leaning into the touch and licking Superhero's palm like a dog. 

"What the-" Villain breathes out, too stunned to form a coherent thought. They stare with widening eyes at whatever is left of their Hero as they rub their head against their owner's leg, looking for praise. But when their gaze lands on Villain, Hero's expression shifts to pure rage. They snarl, aggressive and aggravated. Villain's voice is barely audible behind their growls. "What have you done?" 

"Me? Nothing much," Superhero grins, hooking their fingers into Hero's collar and pulling at it harshly until Hero starts to choke. "I've taught them what they really are. What they deserve to be."  

"But why?" Villain glances at them, seeing insanity in Superhero's eyes. They look back at Hero's dehumanised form on all fours. Their back is arched in what Villain assumes is a defensive stance. Their mind is reeling, running a hundred miles an hour. They cannot grasp the situation in full yet, refusing to believe that the creature in front of them is indeed Hero. Their Hero. "W-why?" 

"Why, you ask?" Superhero drawls, fisting Hero's hair and tugging with brute force. Hero falls onto their back, letting out a whimpering whine. Villain turns away, unable to take the sight of them in such a state. "You think I haven't noticed the little play you two have devised? Your little game of back and forth?"

"What are you..." Villain starts, getting up from the floor. Hero jumps up, preparing to attack. Superhero zaps them with a shocker, sending their body back down with another loud whimper. "Stop! Please... For the love of God, stop!" Villain yells, their lips and hands trembling in desperation. 

"Hero failed. Their purpose was to defeat you. They could have done it months ago," Superhero explains, using their foot to prompt Hero's chin up. "They chose not to. They betrayed their pack, so they needed to learn how to be a good dog." 

Villain shudders at the impassive tone of their voice. "You've conditioned them into submission. You've turned them into an animal, you monster!" They spit out, their eyes flaring up with newfound rage. Their fingers curl into fists as they look around the room, trying to find a solution. An escape.  

"No, I've made him my pet. I'm a patient master," Superhero caresses Hero's cheek and rubs their ear, their touch looking almost soothing until their fingers squeeze, digging into the skin on Hero's chin. "Now, attack."

Hero switches into a fight mode with a snarl, their teeth glimmering white in the dim-lit room. Villain dodges the attack by jumping to the side and reaching out to take hold of Hero's head, prompting them to meet their gaze. 

"Hero, it's me!" Hero's pupils are dilated and empty. They seem incomprehensive. "Please, Hero, it's me, me..." Villain pleads, tears brimming their eyes. For a short moment, something seems to flicker behind Hero's gaze. But, Superhero blows their whistle, and Hero loses all sense of self again, attacking Villain with renewed vigour.  

"No, no, no," Villain tries their best to hold Hero back without hurting them. Their voice is thick with emotion when they speak again, struggling to contain Hero.

"Look at me! Please, just look at me..." Their expression is nothing short of begging, but Hero remains unaffected. With no other choice left, Villain grasps Hero's collar, hooking their belt through it and securing it. 

Hero is rabid against their leash, thrashing on the ground as Villain stands, facing Superhero. 

"No matter how far you take them, they'll always be my pet," Superhero hisses, crossing their arms over their chest with an unmistakable sense of victory. They are so confident in their conviction that they don't bother to arm themself.

"You still don't get it, do you?" Villain lets out a dark chuckle, but there's no humour behind it. "It's not them that betrayed the pack by refusing to defeat me. They could never defeat me in the first place. It was me. I'm the variable you didn't take into account," Villain growls through gritted teeth, taking a step towards Superhero and wrapping a hand around their forearm. "And I will burn you to ashes." 

Before Superhero can register it, their skin starts melting off their body, the tangy smell of burnt flesh filling the room. In mere seconds, Superhero's body hits the floor, their moaning sounding like music to Villain's ears as fire washes over them. Hero howls, tagging at their impromptu leash, but Villain remains unyielding. They kneel next to them, ripping the whistle off Superhero's neck, then wrap the belt around their knuckles, forcing Hero to their feet. Villain cups their cheeks, their fingers tender on Hero's clammy skin, and looks into their eyes in hopes of finding recognition - all they see instead is fear.

Primal, animalistic fear.

They gulp down the lump in their throat and blow the whistle, watching Hero's eyes light up in recognition of their new master. 

Villain knows it's going to be one hell of a journey to get their Hero back. They know it will take weeks, if not months, of constant grind to heal what was so thoroughly broken and even then, Hero might never return to their former cheerful self. But they also know there is no one more worth fighting for. 

Villain misses Hero like crazy. And they will have them back. 

Masterlist

A/N: Hello, darling! Oh, it's not a bother in the slightest! I'm glad to have you here. I have to admit, for the longest time, I had no idea if I would be able to finish this story. It felt very raw, very painful and hit a little too deep. But at the same time, I felt the need to explore the theme, both as a writer and as a psychologist. So, thank you for this request. I hope it turned out how you imagined it. Love, xo Sunny

Taglist: @marvellousdaisy @alltimelowing@lateuplight @surplus-of-sarcasm@betwist@excusemeasibangmyheadonawall @enemies-to-idiots-to-lovers@miaowmelodie @thatonerandomauthor @hhabaddon@burningoutlikeicarus @daemonvatis @weepingcowboywolfbat @thelazywitchphotographer @kaiwewi @soul-of-a-local-bard @pigeonwhumps @aflyingsheepnamedrose @thatneptune @ohwellthatslifesstuff @worldsfromhoney@thiefofthecrowns @crow-with-a-typewriter @qualityrabbitsoup @stargeode@villain-life @villainsblood @whumpifi @glassthedumbass @silviathebard @misskowe @ayeshaturnedtoashes4444

[soso-chan126]

Ahkmenrah x fem! reader "Heimat"

I'm incredibly bored and watched some Night at the museum. Than it just happened that I thought a little bit (is indeed a rare process) and well I thought I could write a little oneshot for the pretty pharao. I couldn't help myself soo yeah. Btw the reader is in this oneshot from the time of the 20th century and to be more specific (is it written that way? idk well if not I am counting on all of you that you're going to tell me if it's right or not) the reader is from the time of the second world war and well there may be some topics that can trigger people. So I will put a trigger warning at the beginning. But well maybe not I'm not sure what I will include and so on and I also don't know how I make the reader so yeah... I will just go with the flow and write for my hearts content (not sure if I can put it that way). So before the beginning I write a quick definition for the word "Heimat". Ouhh and my little to long author notes are those little mini textes.

Heimat (german): "a place, where someone was born and grew up or is there long enough to have a feeling of being at home (is mostly a word for a place (and sometimes someone) that (or who) someone has a very special connection to)

translated out of the "Duden" can't say it's the right translation to the definition but well if someone of you has a better definition that's in english I'll gladly swap that with this one if you don't mind.

Well let's go then! ahh... btw I write about a female reader so yeah... if you want another one with gender neutral or a male reader ask right away and then I'll write it as soon as I can! I am not a native speaker so well it certainly has some errors and I'll correct them if you tell me where some are. Thanks and let's go!

TW: mentions of the holocaust, death, national socialists and some of the other stuff about the 2nd ww and also swearing but only lightly and once if I'm not mistaken

You have been warned. Reading on your own... I forgot the word. Eh... something like concequences ig but I'm not sure. It's way to late for writing tbh. And if you don't want to read the stuff with the 2nd ww then just skip the background. I will mark it for you guys.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Everyday I remember my cruel death. I am nothing but a little wax figurine that just resembles my once very much alive self but I still have her memorys. Even though I am only made out of wax and don't even have a real brain. She was a hero for a lot of people even though she was only a little artist that wasn't much known. She lived in nazi germany so she knew what was going on in germany. Even more because one of her friends worked for the terrifying camps. He told her a lot of things proudly and most of them weren't allowed to be told to zivilian people like herself. She took advantage of the knowledge and used it for her art. She showed the terrors of the war of the holocaust of everything.

She also started to try to change the world for the better and so she came into the view of the regime and their corrupted forces. She was able to trick them but well her luck ran out after she helped a spy of the united states. The spy learned a lot of things from her that were cultural differences between the two countries. With her help he was able to keep hidden. To his luck he looked also like a "typical german" probably had ancestors that were german people. However that was a reason why spys of the allies were basically searching for her so that she can also help them. She was bad at denying the need for help of other people. The spys that resided in her humble home also found out that she hid two jewish families in her house.

Europe and germany were her so called "Heimat" she looked up to Stefan Zweig who also saw europe as his "Heimat" or his home. But well his works were forbidden in germany thanks to the national socialists. She was enraged to find out that her favourite author isn't allowed in her home. But she couldn't give a single shit. She still had the books of him that she once bought. She hid them well. They always tried to find something so that they could arrest and torture her. Well she wasn't allowed to draw anymore and that was a problem but she never stopped with helping others out.

Then someday one of her neighbours told her off to the ss. They came into her home and found everything the spy who resided with the young woman and also the jewish families, the forbidden books and her forbidden art studio. Also the books of different languages such as english, french, japanese, italian, spanish and much more. She learned them all and can speak some of them fluently while the others were a little rusty but good enough to communicate decently. They caught her and they also punished her. And their punishment was the reason for her death. She was a strong woman who helped as much people as she could by sending them off to other countries or hiding them and teaching them. The spy was also tortured and died right next her when a bomb of the english army fell onto the building they were in. He apologized to her but she told him that it wasn't his fault and that she decided for herself to walk on this path that was hidden in the darkness without any sight of light. She wanted to bring light into her home, her "Heimat". But she lost it and she pobably never gets it back. Well that's what her dying self thought but that wasn't exactly true.

~End of backstory~

She came back to life and well she is now my humble self who is a good friend of hystorical people like Sacagawea, Theodore Roosevelt and others. My personal favourite of them all is Ahkmenrah. He is a pharao of egypt who is dead like most of us. Makes sense right? And well he kind of is more to me. I certainly don't know what I am for him but he is more than a friend. I think it's enough to say that I have kind of a crush on the handsome egyptian man. Well okay it's a big crush to be honest.

Everytime when I have those nightmares about my death he's there to help me. I'm very thankful to have him. Even though I'm quite sad that I don't know about his feelings for me.

Well my little thoughts about my past and current situation were interrupted by hand that waved in front of my face. I blinked twice and mumbled a little "Wa?", that made him chuckle. "You were very deep into your thoughts today. Is something troubling you?", he asked me somewhat amused but also concerned. I just stared into his eyes and shook my head indicating a "no". He just sighs and asked if I could tell him about some stories that I read. He asked for some fairy tales. So I told him some. Mostly the famous ones like "Snow white", "Rapunzel", "The beauty and the beast" and also "Sleeping Beauty".

At some point he laid down and rested his head on my lap. I stopped reading and stared down on him with wide eyes. He eyed me from his position and asked what's wrong. He wasn't like this before. Never. And this shocked me. "Nothing's wrong. But tell me why are you laying your head on my lap?", I asked with a blush that told the world how embarassed and overworked I was from the whole situation. "I'm simply resting. I was feeling tired." Well he is dead so it was kind of a miracle for me to think that he can feel tired. I just shrugged and returned still a little flustered to reading the current story.

After I finished with the story I glanced down to Ahk who still rested his head on my lap. Surprisingly he kind of fell asleep. I watched his peaceful face and felt the heat returning into my face. I may be out of wax but well I kind of can blush at least at night. Though everyone can kind of. It's cute when I see Teddy blush because of Sacagawea or the other way around. I kind of still wonder how it's possible. But well we talk about a relict that can bring basically everything to life so questioning that kind of stuff can bring a headache to someone and by someone I mean myself.

As I was thinking and staring down on the handsome pharao on my lap the mentioned man was waking up and saw to me. Catching me red-handed as I was watching him sleep. I then registered that he had opened his beautiful brown eyes and well you can guess it. I became something similar to a living tomato. He smiled widely seeing me this flustered and laughed out loud.

"Thank you for guarding my sleep! But I'm sure that the sun will rise very soon." Indeed the sky was getting lighter every minute and it's just a matter of time that we need to be on our places. He sat up but put me to a halt when I wanted to stand up. "Could you answer me one little question about a german word?", he asked looking at the young woman with great interest. "Sure. What is your question?"

"What does "Heimat" mean?" Heimat. I haven't heard that word for long only thought about it. "Well "Heimat" is similar to the english word "home" but some people might say that it has a higher meaning. It's more connected with feelings and it doesn't need to be a place. Sometimes it's a person or a thing." "Hmm can you tell me if my usage of the word is correct?", he asked kind of nervous id I'm putting it right. I just nodded and he took a deep breath. That kind of makes it suspicious. Like if he's going to confess or something. He wouldn't right?

Then he grabbed for my hand and said "(Y/N) my beautiful little desert flower. You are everything to me and my "Heimat" is wherever you are. Eh.. could you tell me how I say in german that you're my "Heimat"?" "Du bist meine Heimat", I answered in a trance like state. "(Y/N). Du bist meine Heimat*" I teared up after he said that. "Du bist auch meine Heimat, Ahk.**" He caressed my cheek and kissed me slowly. It was a cute kiss that showed all his emotions for me and of course I reciprocated it as soon as I was out of my trance.

"I love you", he mumbled lowly while connecting his forehead with mine. "I love you too." He is my "Heimat" and I'm pretty sure he'll always be. Well as long as the tablet and the time are on our side.

What the two lovebirds haven't noticed was that the tablet had little corrosions over it. And that their next adventure is waiting for them.

Well that's it my friend's! It's really late and I'm kind of tired as idk. Especially since it's 3 a.m. And I need to go to school tomorrow like ahhhh! Am I dumb kinda. Do I have to write a class test in math tomorrow? Yes. Yes, I have to. Well that's the reason why I'm going to sleep now. So yeah. Ouh and if I got anything wrong tell me friendly if it's unfriendly I will simply ignore it. I'll make soon a masterlist and link it to this post and the other two as well. And yeah... See ya guys later!

Edited: Here is the masterlist!

Masterlist

Translation: "(Y/N). Du bist meine Heimat." -> "(Y/N). You're my home." * "Du bist auch meine Heimat, Ahk." -> "You're my home as well, Ahk." **

[demi-shoggoth]

2023 Reading Log pt 16

The last books I read in 2023, and the least books I've read in a year since starting to keep track. But 80 books is still nothing to sneeze at.

76. Pandemonium: A Visual History of Demonology by Ed Simon. This book rules; it’s up there for best books I’ve read in 2023. As the title suggests, the book is primarily concerned with high quality reproductions of art of demons and hell in the Western tradition, organized by era, with accompanying essays discussing the role played by demons in culture and what they symbolize in literature, religion and art. These build to a crescendo, as the last essays are about the modern era as an Age of Moloch, where destructive, unrelenting consumption is the rule of the elite, which articulates feelings that I have had as a demon-obsessed ex-Christian for some time. It also talks about the Cthulhu Mythos as a post-modern demonology, which probably pisses ST Joshi off something fierce, so I give it props for that as well.

76a. A Curious History of Vegetables by Wolf D. Storl. “Curious” is an excellent word to describe this book, as its author is a nut. We’re talking, “consults astrological charts for planting certain vegetables” nut. Although the cover calls him an “ethnobotanist”, Storl is clearly a crank of the highest order—the introduction includes ranting about how vegetables are full of deva spirits, but GMOs are possessed by rakshasas. I was willing to read along for quite a while with this as a book about the magical properties and beliefs about plants—I got about halfway. But by that point, the author’s continual paranoia about using drugs as medicine, claiming that every vegetable is a panacea, and obvious disdain for scientific curiosity or little things like “evidence” got to be too much for me. That’s not me elevating him into a strawman, BTW. He goes into a lengthy rant about “The Shoemaker and the Elves”, talking about how scientists destroy magic with their curiosity and thus ruin the world. Blech.

77. Most Delicious Poison by Noah Whiteman. I’m a sucker for books about poison, and this is a good one. I think I’d still recommend Plants that Kill above this, but this is an excellent follow-up for the reader. This book talks a lot more about the modes of action of particular chemicals, and how chemicals fall into families of molecules that often have related properties. The book is one of those part science/part memoir nonfiction books that seem to have grown in popularity. The author was inspired to write it in part by his father’s death from alcoholism. So definitely go into it with a trigger warning in mind.

77a. Sex in the World of Myth by David Leeming. Abandoned after the Greece/Rome chapter. I abandoned it partially because it lumped Greece and Rome together and talked about their views on sex and sexuality as if they were interchangeable and consistent through the thousands of years of their existences, partially because the author is a Freudian. Life is too short to read books by Freudians. The specific line that made me give up was when the author defined all pornography as violent and exploitative. Blanket statement.

78. Household Horror by Marc Olivier. This is a weird one, even by the standards of “scholarly analyses of horror movies”, in that it looks at the horror movies it covers from the perspective of inanimate objects within them. Sometimes literally—the author discusses The Exorcist through the lens of Regan’s bed being possessed before she is—and sometimes figuratively—what does the exact make and model of the typewriter, and the reams and reams of hand typed text, say about The Shining? It’s witty and engaging, and an interesting way to view and review movies that, for the most part, have received a lot of critical attention already.

79. Quackery: A Brief History of the Worst Ways to Cure Everything by Lydia Kang and Nate Pedersen. This is a re-read; I bought this book shortly after it was released in 2017 and read it then. But, the podcast Behind the Bastards did an episode on radium quackery that used it as a source, and I was still stinging from having started and abandoned two crappy books in as many weeks, so I wanted something of a comfort read. Of course, my version of a “comfort read” involves gross medical malpractice and people poisoning themselves and others. I’m strange. The book is organized into chapters by subject (elements, animal products, vegetable poisons, etc), and is very well illustrated with vintage advertisements, engravings and photographs. There are more in-depth books about just about all of the topics covered here, but this is an excellent survey of the more shameful corners of medical history.

80. Words from Hell by Jess Zafarris. It’s a book on etymology! Namely, the etymology of profanity, slurs, sex, violence, drugs, crime, monsters… It’s a bit of a mixed bag in terms of theme, but is organized well within. A recurring topic is the hidden biases built into the English language, from “sinister” meaning “left-handed” to the classism built into words like “rascal” and “villain”. The author is good about discussing multiple hypotheses for word origins, and about when things are uncertain and unknown. And she’s a sex-positive WLW, which goes a long way towards giving me good feelings towards any book (an example joke: when discussing the shared root word of “vagina” and “vanilla”, she quips “no wonder they’re both so fun to lick”).

[kimbap-r0ll]

oh I had another great X reader Idea! This one is angst So maybe this will be more fun or easier for you to write?

okay so I was thinking like ‘Illumi’ trying to love his s/o they can have just gotten together ( like 1-3 months ) or awhile ( more like 6-9) whichever you prefer. And he finds it hard to express himself and actually “like”partner something due to his upbringing and lack of emotional/physical support. He could be contemplating something, like their relationship, their status, and wondering why They are even with him.

like he does have feelings for them of course but he is just lost and find The whole relationship thing pointless or something. So sorry if this is confusing.But you can do what you would like with this prompt! I love your ideas. Please stay healthy, drink water and I wish you and your studies good luck

Omg wait this is really interesting, thank you for the ask! Also thank you for the kind words, hope you're doing well too! This includes some abuse to the reader btw, so I'm putting this under the cut as a trigger warning

Illumi x gn!reader : Struggling with emotions

tw: abusive language, torture

He knew that he was going to have an s/o mainly for continuing the Zoldyck bloodline. However, he thought that Killua would be responsible for this when he gets older while Illumi stays, well, single. With the departure of his younger brother (and Alluka) Kikyo urged Silva to match someone with Illumi. "At least he has promise," Kikyo said, and Silva eventually agreed

You were brought to the Zoldyck manor as the s/o. You were a skilled nen user, and your background was vague enough for you to not catch any media attention. However, you felt as though this would be a challenge because of how different the two of you were

While yes you worked with the darker aspects of life, you were a romantic. You longed for warm, cozy nights snuggled with your partner as it snowed outside. You yearned for moments of shared laughter as the two of you ran along the seashore. However, the minute you took a look at your fiance, you understood that you would have to stow those dreams away

You tried your best to understand your fiance (there was no dating apparently, once a Zoldyck wanted you, you were expected to just stay with them forever) but to no avail. Whenever you asked him about his favorite hobbies and such, he gave you a blank stare and told you "assassins don't need that."

Meanwhile for Illumi, it was the same issue. He wanted you to be a great assassin like the rest of the family, forcing you to train with him whenever he found the time. But you would protest against him using electricity, throwing you off a building, etc. He found it hard to express his love for you. Love, to him, was something complicated yet simple. Just like he loves his family, he poured his heart into making you feel welcome.

You took this more as him trying to control your life.

He would force you to eat poisoned foods, tell you that this was what you needed. He would call you "weak" or "useless" if you didn't fit into the assassin lifestyle. Whenever you protested against his use of such violence, he didn't listen. You felt like you were suffocating in the house, but there was no escape. There was no way for you to leave the mountain, let alone the house that you were stuck in. You were trapped.

His love was a twisted one, something tainted by years of stitching together a ruthless killer.

Illumi never thought of you as a lover if he had to be honest. You were more like someone who was meant to fill in a purpose in the Zoldyck name. Illumi was just helping the purpose be fulfilled, nothing more and nothing less. Because of this, he was finding it irritating to see you object and try to pull yourself out of the family. Why couldn't you accept his love? Perhaps it was time to use his needles, though he didn't want to. If there was no other way to get you to fit into the family, then so be it.

[cr1ms0nesp3ra-ac3]

Part 3: DAY 03

( Sleep Token Lyric Challenge by @a-s-levynn )

This ain't gonna be art for now..

yet.

But instead! An oc's sibling angst oneshot,but before you must start.. warnings ↓

{ TW/TRIGGER WARNINGS:

Implied kidnapping

Mentions of Dysfunctional Family and Implied Abuse(such as either mental, emotional and physical.)

Mentions of Death ( which includes characters who are my ocs, also um parent death. )

Implied Panic Attacks

Mentions of Nightmares

Styles of Anxiety and Paranoia

And Mental Heath mentioned.}

( Btw, just to let you know that this is only my oc lore and my interpretation canon lore to ST, and no this is not canon in real life that they will be having a new band member. I just had to clarify just in case fore' I had to block someone who had said it. )

That will be a first POV of this lore I will be working btw.. and with that!

Let us begin..

an Ascensionism inspired angst oneshot.

Undercut: ↓

[ August 3, 2023 took place of-

Las Vegas, the REDACTED Residence on a streetown. ]

There is no way, no way that the brother that I always love..

now went missing.

I can't be all alone! NOT LIKE THIS!!

Not without my brother like that!! How am I supposed to keep on waiting since he told me that secret?!

...But none of that matters anyway, my sisters were still nicer to me.. though I- can notice that they felt tired.

I see why..

All was starting with worry when Jasmine tried to call Ace, over and over again but there is no response.

Til now.. Hell broke loose when She and Nora began to argue outside of my room during 8:14 PM after Nora returned from working at Starbucks.. I didn't like that, when I began to just hearing that Ace haven't responded her calls.

I didn't believe her at first.. til I tried calling him too.

No responses.

Yet it's the same thing when I tried and tried again. But again, all nothing but silence.

Now I feel scared, scared if my brother was either snatched by someone, or is it because he was busy? But what I am now officially dealing with is that.. well—

I didn't want the broken family we used to had unto from return, Jasmine began to feel tired, feel workaholic, and yet anger is inside because she'll do what it takes to find Ace.. She now works for the detective after she had to quit her job for being a gardener, but Nora and I were worried, but we also didn't want to interrupt her.. and so, we had no choice.

We had to leave her and move somewhere so that she won't hurt us again.

Like our own mother and grandfather from before.

I remember Father and Auntie trying to protect us from them, not until they died from a terrible accident.. yet we're the only three left, the Siblings.

[ August 8, 2023, 10:38 PM.. 4 weeks later after. ]

My own sense of anxiety and paranoia began to spread as I was just lying still on my bed, staring at the celling from midnight. Reflecting it like a shadow shuddering behind the celling fan.. and yet I was shaking from only fear. Because of fear, only just fear and nothing else.

I can't help but feel nothing as a fragile doll, but I don't want them to know..

...There was a nightmare I had, 3 weeks ago at 11:11 PM.

I didn't even want to mention it but it was so scary... Scary but at first, me and Ace were just playing around at the neighborhood, I didn't realize that something happened. Then I stopped, in confusion.. and now scared, as I just saw my brother being held from blue strings, for me, I was forced to watch him get dragged away by... those 5 red eyes.

Yes, those 5 red eyes... I'm not sure what that was. But it scared me.

I was supposed to run up to my brother, reaching him, trying to save him from whatever is trying to get him.

But darkness nor light either tried to stop me, as I got greeted by an...archangel entity–like demi-god, it looked like a woman but not like that in my own eyes.

This demi-god I first saw has 5 eyes, white silvered skin, glowing red color, 3 wings, a black veil dressed and dried dark brown medium-like hair, while staring at my brother who is now in strings like a puppet doll. There was someone controlling him..

I was too frozen when staring at...whoever is hunting my dreams, the expression was blank, blank at first but there is a smile to the lips.. she slowly placed a finger on her lips to keep me quiet, I don't know what to do now but to nod despite my paranoia and fear beginning to rise up.

Then she proceeded to leave like a floating angel, when I tried to get up and shouted at my brother's name to make him "respond"..

I now woke up, shaking and shivering what I just witness.

It was someone, someone who was actually the one who took my brother away from me. And yet I...hated that nightmare. I really do.

Then weeks later, I always pretended that everything is okay to my sister Nora, she was suspicious at first but she always just shrugged and just..let that slide, thank god.

I was this lucky enough that I began to had an panic attack when I was home alone, lucky me didn't have the security cameras at our new home.. Wonder how Jasmine is okay but who knows...

I feel she is no longer the first older sister I loved now. She has changed.

But what that reminds me... Ace is a journalist, he is trying to research about that "Sleep" God he tells me and my sisters' stories about. Every now and then.

Until realization hits me...

Did it just..

.....Was it the one who took Ace?

..Did it, or she actually did?

Or is just my anxiety trying and making me feel delusional?

And yet I hate it.

I hated it so much that I can't help but cry quietly and softly in fear and anxiety mixing together from my brain and body, I tend to cover it with under my own pillow and my blanket.

This is really all my fault for keeping a lot of secrets, it must have been. Because before the week he went missing, he told me about something of him wanting to be a new bandmate of that band we all loved.

I just wish I could stay with Ace.

I just wish I couldn't keep his secrets but I just can't do it, ..bitter consequences will hit me if I say the truth to the ones I know.

This will be the bitter deception I will be forced to live on for now. And it cannot make me feel safe. Nor to set me free from the tragic and sadness that I've been through.

....But maybe.... just— m-maybe..

If you are really safe for me, or you feel comfort for being safe to whoever snatched you, dear brother..

Will you come home?

[misogynisticmediatournament]

I think the warrior cats and warriors in your submission list are the same thing,btw do you have reccomendations of like. anything that writes woman well

Ah, you might be right; I think I skimmed that entry's propaganda, and it was very specific to whatever series it was about without dropping the full series name, and I was like "Maybe this is Warrior Cats? I feel lazy, I'm not going to look heavily into it."

So, as a reminder: use the full but common name for the series! For example, Miraculous Ladybug (this seems to be the most common title despite being a shortened version), Warrior Cats, BBC Sherlock, etc. And check that you don't have a space after the title's entry, as that counts as a different entry than the title without the space when using the UNIQUE function in Google sheets (which is how I count the unique entries).

As for recommendations, this is hard because I watch a lot of trash, especially recently, but:

- You can never go wrong with Revolutionary Girl Utena. Note: this show (and start with the show, not the movie) has a lot of potentially triggering stuff, so check out those warnings before you start if you have any triggers at all. It uses the triggering stuff very well and to tell its story and explore its themes, not just for, like, titillation though. Indeed, it is, I would argue, necessary for the story and themes the show seeks to explore. It is legally free on Youtube in...I want to say 480p, and in better resolution on Crunchyroll and Funimation (yes, Funimation's site is still up; I find it superior to Crunchyroll's since it actually includes closed captions for dubs, although it doesn't include newer anime from after the two companies merged). Also, you want to watch the sub for this. I'm normally not one to say "the dub is bad" and stuff and be a purist about it—in fact I normally go to bat for dubs—but, uh... yeah, the dub is bad this time. Crispin Freeman and Dan Green are delightful in it though, I'll give it that.

- Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood uses its female characters well. Maybe it could be better, I've seen some people in these tournaments have beef with it, but it's a pretty perfectly told story, like solid A+, with a lot of really great female characters who I find very satisfying so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. This is on Crunchyroll, Hulu, and I believe Amazon Prime?

- Don't let the title fool you: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a fantastic show with great female characters who are complex and human, have compelling arcs, and are vital to the story. The relationship between Rebecca and Paula is central to the show and SO good, especially as the show goes on. The title is because it explores the trope of the crazy ex-girlfriend in a very humanizing way, and the title/opening song even mentions how the title is a sexist term, but it's a lot more nuanced than that. Also, it's a musical with very good original songs every episode. But check trigger warnings for this show too though. The show is streaming on Netflix last I checked.

- Uhh... maybe the first two seasons of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic? It's a kid's show, but it's good. I haven't seen it in years and years though, so I don't know if I can still fully vouch for it. I believe it is streaming on Netflix?

- Revue Starlight? I haven't thought about it heavily, but I had no beef watching it. This is streaming on HiDive.

- I've heard good things about Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury, but I can't vouch for it personally. It's streaming on Crunchyroll.

UPDATE: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury is also legally on youtube!

Honestly, I know more imperfect shows that I'm satisfied with, like I give it a B+ to A- at least, but that I haven't thought heavily about than stuff where I'm like, "Oh, yeah, definitely, definitely, nothing I'd pick out there as a problem." For example, Baccano! is probably imperfect (as well as not streaming legally anywhere), but I don't remember being, like, struck by a bunch of problems there. So, I'm not the best for recs that I can give a 100% guarantee for.

[inkblot22]

When Smitten

I think the problem with writing with these guys is that I'm consistently concerned that I'm writing them the wrong bad way. I honestly just want to write about gruesome murder and nothing else. This is not that. I also have no idea what pairing I'm doing here. I tried to shift the trigger warnings so it doesn't spoil anything?

This fic is aimed towards anyone who can handle it. No pronouns other than "you" are used for the reader, and the reader's body is not described in any detail other than clothing.

TW for knife imagery, mention of sickness, vomit mentions, description of blood/bleeding, death mentions, washing dishes, and a power imbalance if you squint.

btw these gifs are outta pocket wtf

As several dirty plates land in your bucket, you have to remind yourself that this job is going to be a lot of money once night falls. Looking at the uneaten remains of overly-decadent food makes you want to throw up. You scrub a few plates, scowling deep into the bucket with an expression that could kill, and you feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. 

It’s some long-haired guy. What the fuck does he want? You raise your eyebrows at him in silent question as he stares at you, and he smiles gently and walks away. You curl your lip and go back to washing dishes. By the time you’re done washing, the sun is slung low and painting the sky in oranges. You pause in the garden on your way to the servants’ house and stare up at it. 

What you have to do is not easy in the least, but you desperately need money. Your mom is sick and needs medical attention. You don’t even know what she has; all you know is that she has a fever and hasn’t spoken more than three words to you in the past month. She doesn’t even eat anymore. You’re scared, and you have to rationalize your guilt for not being there for her. Even though you can’t be with her right now, you’ll be with her soon.

As you look up at the sunset pensively, someone grabs your arm and effectively scares you out of your skin. 

The first thing you notice are his eyes, and they make your blood run cold. He’s smiling, vermillion eyes wide and earnest. If the sun were higher in the sky, you would have been blinded by the paleness of his hair, which is cropped short. He’s wearing a lot of ornate jewelry, including a pair of earrings that are dangling freely.

He’s close enough for you to smell him, the smell of turmeric and butterfly pea, smooth and earthy, “Oh, wow, you’re even cuter from this angle! Hi!”

Did he just…? You look at him in a sort of flustered shock, and that long-haired guy strolls over and separates your arm from the smiley guy’s grip. He’s scowling, both at you and the smiley guy.

“What are you doing here?” The long haired guy bites at you, “You’re done in the kitchen, go back to-”

“Aw, Jamil, don’t be so prickly! The garden is for everyone!” The smiley guy chirps.

Jamil, apparently, snips back, “I shouldn’t need to remind you that you shouldn’t be out here either, Kalim.”

You feel your heart stop for a moment, and it’s then you have to make a decision. The Al Asims are known for being incredibly friendly, which you have just experienced, but… you don’t want to get too attached to anyone here.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You mumble, your nerves making your voice come out a lot shakier than it should, “I didn’t know we had a curfew.”

Kalim somehow smiles brighter, “I knew you were new! Where do you usually work?”

“Kalim,” Jamil warns.

You don’t know what you should do here. The beastwoman who showed you around three days ago told you to be polite whenever you encounter one of the Al Asims. Your boss told you to look out for their personal servants. You shove your hands in your pockets and briefly contemplate running before Kalim grabs your wrists and pulls your hands up so he can hold them with both of his.

“Oh, you must be shy. That’s okay, I think Jamil is too. Right?” He casts a grin over his shoulder at the glaring man and turns back to you. “Well, whenever you’re available, just let Jamil know. It’d be a shame to not get to know you.”

You nod warily. You’re not a fan of being immobilized like this, however gentle it is. Your hands are better where you can move them whenever you please, not held in the hands of Kalim Al Asim.

Kalim grins and releases you, and you glance at Jamil, who is standing with his arms crossed. He’s looking at the crotch of your pants. His eyes sweep up to yours and he gives you a dirty look before casting his eyes towards Kalim.

“Let’s go. You still have a lot to do before bed.” Jamil tells him.

Kalim laughs it off and strolls behind Jamil, and you want nothing more than to vomit. 

The night is… longer than it should be. Fatima, your roommate, snores, and thanks to that you’re able to stay awake until your digital clock is staring back at you with the beginning of your deadline. It’s one in the morning. Your boss told you that Kalim typically gets to bed around nine, but you should wait a bit to make sure that Jamil is also sleeping. 

You slide out of bed and pace down to the kitchen. Your knife presses against your thigh, a pressure that you do not want to bear. The kitchen is thankfully empty, and if everything goes right, you’ll be back in a few minutes anyways. You grab a pair of gloves and slip out of the kitchen through the window. 

You left some spare clothes in the bush. You’ve never done this kind of thing before, but when your dad was around when you were a kid, you’d watch tons of crime shows. That had to count for something. You quickly change and leave your other clothes behind. The bodysuit is a dusky red, and it has a pocket that lets you grab your blade quickly. You slink through the shadows and end up below Kalim’s suite.

Your adrenaline is rushing, blood roaring in your ears as you cautiously begin climbing the lattice, occasionally losing your footing on a vine or something. The lattice ends near the hallway window, not the balcony, and you do like it better that way. It gives you more time to prepare yourself.

Once you heft yourself over the ledge and are standing on solid ground again, you take in a wheezy breath and slide into an alcove, catching your breath. This is like something straight out of a nightmare. The longer you stall, the less certain you are that you can do this. You have to move or else you won’t get paid and your mom will die of whatever illness she’s caught because you can’t afford a doctor. You have to enter Kalim’s room.

The Al Asims, for however relaxed and friendly they are, have a slight paranoid streak. It doesn’t manifest in the usual ways, so the minute you step into Kalim’s huge bedroom, you expect an alarm to go off.

Nothing happens. It’s completely silent, save for quiet snoring coming from the person in that humongous bed. You pad across the room with trepidation, and you don’t notice Jamil. A glance at the weird, futuristic alarm clock informs you that it’s about 1:45 in the morning. You crawl onto the bed and straddle Kalim.

He stirs, but doesn’t wake. You would imagine that if you had a bunch of attempts on your life, you’d be more of a light sleeper, but you suppose that he has his bodyguard/personal servant to thank for his ill-gained ease. 

With practiced motion, you reach into the panel on your thigh and slip your knife out. As you raise it above your head, you grimace.

Can you do this? He seems so sweet, and… he’s a living person. Is killing one person to save another moral when both people are innocent? You don’t even know what your boss is going to do once Kalim is dead other than pay you. It should be simple. One swift motion and your dagger goes into his chest. Maybe he wakes up for a moment, you see shock in his eyes before the life fades, but other than that, it’s simple. Easy. That’s your goal. Easy money.

Quick bucks.

You steel yourself. You have to do this. Your arms raise a bit higher and then there’s something ice cold against your neck, lithe musculature snug under your armpits. There’s a hand holding your chin up so the blade can rest a bit more comfortably under your jugular, and the warm body pressed against your back smells like star anise, fresh soil, and heady molasses. You swallow and your throat bobs against the blade.

A voice whispers in your ear, “Drop your blade.”

You let go of your knife with one hand and lean your arm as far as you can to the side without getting your throat cut, then drop it on the bed. 

“Good.” It's spoken with a hot puff of air in the shell of your ear. You feel the pressure of his cheek pressed against the back of your head.

You’re entirely expecting the icy pain of the blade against your neck, the warm gush of your own blood in your mouth, but instead you are spun around, his dagger pointed at your spine and Jamil’s hand still clamped against your jaw. He leans over you until your noses touch, staring deep into your eyes.

He looks wild. His hair, normally tied at his nape, sweeps over his shoulders, and he’s forgone a shirt. His eyes bore into yours and you feel like you’ve been shocked.

Before you can wonder if you’ve been stabbed, he begins to speak, reciting a spell that you’ve never heard before, “The one before you is your master. If I ask, you shall answer. If I command it, you will do it. Snake Whisper.”

Everything goes black after that. You come to, seated at a table in an unfamiliar room. Your knife lays on the table, but when you jerk your arm forward to grab it, the bite of ropes holds your wrist back. You wet your lips and look around further.

Kalim is sitting in front of you, dressed in a tank top and a pair of sweats. There’s a bright white tattoo that loops around his arm. His head wrap is gone, and you look away from him as he yawns. You feel like you shouldn’t have seen him without it. You hear him stretch and then there are footsteps and someone grabs your jaw again, yanking your head to look up at him.

It’s Jamil again. You shut your eyes and hear him chuckle.

“You learn fast.” He lets you go and you open your eyes again to see him pick up your knife, “Kalim, please try to stay awake. You’re the one who insisted I didn’t dispose of… this individual.”

“I’m awake.” Kalim shifts a little and you keep your eyes on his knees, “I guess I should be a little flattered that someone so cute would try to kill me.”

You don’t know what to say to that, so you don’t say anything at all. Kalim bends down so he can make eye contact with you and smiles at you. You sort of want to cry.

“Are you allowed to tell me why?” He gently asks.

Jamil places your knife back down, “I’d like to know as well. I can’t imagine what you hoped to achieve with this little carving knife.”

You swallow and Kalim sits straight again. Jamil chuckles.

“And here I was, thinking you’d have something proper. Only a fool would attempt murder with a tool such as this. It can barely do more than carve soft fruits.”

Good to know that Jamil is apparently an asshole. You lean your head against the side of the chair that you’re seated in and feel the first tears begin to streak down your face.

Your boss was clear: you get caught, he’s not helping you.

You wipe your face on your shoulder and take a deep breath, “What’s going to happen if I tell you?”

“Why don’t you tell me?” Kalim says.

The answer is that whatever punishment they decide on will happen. All you have to lose is your life and your mother’s life. Not like you’re gambling.

“I… needed money.” You finally mumble.

Kalim doesn’t say anything, like he’s waiting for you to say something else. You squirm.

“My mom, she’s sick. I… I can’t afford a doctor, and it’s just me and her.”

“Do you know who sent you?” Jamil asks.

You don’t. Your boss was definitely wearing some kind of makeup every time he met with you, which was only three times. He never told you his name, and you had to memorize the documents he handed you before he set them on fire in your grasp. You shake your head no.

“Alright.” Kalim shifts in his seat as you keep looking at his knees, “Jamil, can you bring me and my guest some tea?”

“‘Guest’? This is an assassin.”

“Not anymore, and can you really call someone an assassin if they planned on using a cute little fruit carving knife like this to kill someone?”

You can almost hear Jamil tense, but he storms off, mumbling under his breath. When it’s just you and Kalim, you somehow feel less safe than when Jamil was in the room.

“Can you look at me?” He asks, sweetly.

You slowly drag your eyes up to look at his, and he smiles. He’s holding your knife.

“Do you carve fruit?”

“Uh… yeah?”

“I’d love to see it sometime.” It’s very odd that he’s speaking so casually with you like this. You don’t see any deception in his eyes or on his face, “I noticed you a couple days ago, but I don’t think you saw me. I thought, ‘Wow, I didn’t know that someone so cute worked here!’”

What the fuck is happening?

“And then, at sunset, I saw you in the garden and I just couldn’t help myself. I had to talk to you. You looked so sad. You must have been thinking about your mom. I don’t know what I’d do if mine was sick.”

“I… was… forgive me, sir, but I’m a little confused.” You manage.

“Oh? I guess I should get to the point. Ahaha, I have a tendency to ramble, don’t I? Jamil tells me to be more concise sometimes. I’m working on it,” Kalim grins, sheepishly, and then he looks at you.

With eyes that bright, you get the impression that he’s looking at you, the real you. Not the body you reside in, but your spirit. The soul. Your deepest person. You avert your eyes and Kalim stands up, walking around the table so he can squat near your chair. 

You didn’t think he knew your name, but when he says it, it’s as soft as a breath, like a feather gently floating in the air. “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

You don’t. You gape at Kalim as though he has grown a second head that speaks nothing but egg latin, and he giggles.

“That’s okay. I do. I really, really believe in love at first sight.” Kalim’s hand cups your cheek, and he rubs the apple of it before he leans forwards and presses his forehead against yours.

You hear Jamil re-enter as Kalim kisses you. It’s the gentlest kiss you ever felt. You want to both cry and vomit.

[imnotavamp1r3]

♡ Best books I read in 2023! ♡

Since it's officially 2024, I thought I would make a short list of some of my favourite books I read last year! Just be warned that my reading taste is a little dark and all of these books have like a billion trigger warnings so just keep that in mind. No spoilers btw!

🎀 Lolita ♡ Vladimir Nabokov

This one was admittedly reread but I still wanted to include it. I first read Lolita at the beginning of last school year and I loved it. Not only was it beautifully written, but it conveyed how terrible paedophilia is while also being told through the point of view of the paedophile and not making the story romantic which is one of the most impressive parts of the novel. There are so many things this book does so well and although it can be a tough read for a lot of people, I still highly recommend it.

🎀 Earthlings ♡ Sayaka Murata

This is definitely one of the weirdest things I've read. It's basically about three people who believe they're aliens and, as a result of that, end up doing many questionable things. It's very unclear what is real and what's not, and I love books that do that. It tackles themes of childhood trauma in a very unique way and, if you choose to believe everything the main character believes, it's actually quite a happy ending.

🎀 The Secret History ♡ Donna Tartt

Omg this book actually changed me. I read this because it's one of Dakota Warren's favourite books and I can definitely see why she loves it so much. The novel follows a group of Greek studies students who murder their friend and the story leads up to how this happened. This book is definitely a slow read, but it's also very much worth it in the end. Out of all of the books I read this year, this is the one I'd recommend the most.

🎀 The Picture of Dorian Gray ♡ Oscar Wilde

I don't know how this was my first time reading this, but I'm so glad I finally did. On the surface level, it's a story about a young man corrupted by his vanity, but beneath that there's so much more to it, like Basil and Dorian's relationship and whether Basil actually liked Dorian or was just infatuated by his beauty, the subversion of the idea that beautiful people are inherently good, and the worth that's assigned to things as superficial as beauty. I loved this book and I know I'm going to keep thinking about it for a while.

🎀 Ring ♡ Koji Suzuki

This is the novel that inspired the movies Ringu and Ring, so that probably gives a pretty good idea of what this book is about. Just like the movie Ringu, this book relies mostly on suspense rather than action-filled and confrontational scenes between the main character and Sadako. The book is very different from the movies so even if you have seen the movies, I still think the book is worth reading because there are so many interesting things that the films left out.

That's it, byeeeee!! ˚｡⋆୨୧˚♡

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, round 2 of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For Vegas and Pete:

Evil babygirl & stealthily evil babyboy. Vegas, known committer of atrocities, and Pete, who didn't rise up the ranks of being a mafia bodyguard for nothing. Never forget how Pete brutally shot and killed his coworker who dared to shoot Vegas in front of him.

I mean. They both kill people all the time. They even have evil gay BDSM sex. It's all right there.

it's plainly obvious to anyone even looking in their direction how murder husbands they are. both have canonically killed multiple people, often on screen. Not to mention the onscreen scene of Vegas literally torturing someone. 

For Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu:

you've got the founder of the fantasy ancient Chinese CIA and the leader of what is essentially the mafia and then they're soulmates and in love. they're both willing to kill anyone who dares hurt the other while also just wanting a soft domestic life together

Zhou Zishu is an assassin and spymaster who put the current Emperor on the throne, and then quit his job by faking his death (kinda, hes still dying but not as fast as he was supposed to). Had done A Lot on his old job, including murdering children (more than one, and at least one of them in a way I can't even describe without several trigger warnings), exterminating whole families, war crimes (and i dont mean this in a buzzword way, i mean "organized a public execution of foreign diplomats during war time")… btw he doesn't feel particularly bad about any of this, because he believes it was necessary. Like he wouldn't do it for fun, but he thinks the ends (putting a good Emperor on the throne) justified the means (all of the atrocities). As a retiree, he definitely cut down on the amount of morally reprehensible murder, but not murder in general. He still routinely kills ppl, he just doesn't go out of his way to kill more. Wen Kexing, meanwhile, is the Ghost Valley Master - Ghost Valley being a place where the worst of criminals are exiled. Even in such a place, he has reputation as a complete lunatic, owed partially to the fact that he either skinned a man or fed him his own flesh or both at one point, and partially to him having a rule where he would kill anyone who came closer than 3 meters to him. But in truth, everything he'd done was to survive the Ghost Valley and eventually take revenge for his parents, who were brutally murdered when he was only nine. By the start of the novel's timeline, he put his plan in motion - the plan that would drown jianghu in blood, but also deliver poetic justice to all responsible for his parents' deaths, as well as all who'd commit the same crime given the chance. And these two men, these two murderers and schemers, meet - and unexpectedly, find in each other the person who /understands/. The person who is just as ruthless and whose hands are just as bloody, but also the person who knows standing at the top of the world is not worth it, who seeks the same freedom of leaving it all behind, and who is still, underneath it all, a human, with human heart seeking connection. So you have this couple who understand each other with barely a word, and who want the same things - who are so hungry for domesticity and for people they can just goof around with when all their lives they had to measure every step and word - but ALSO where one half a couple is like "i gotta go murder hundreds in revenge" and the other half is like "ok pick you up at 6". (This btw is why I'm submitting novel's iteration of the couple in particular. Show wenzhou with their ridiculous breakups over morality could Never.) Also they were both hiding who they are when they first met, and later flirted about having figured each other out. Finally, I'll leave you my favorite quote that just. perfectly sums up their relationship: "And just like that, they fell asleep in each other's arms, steeped in the smell of blood."

You’ve probably already had submissions for them but I’ll add on. One of them founded an assassin’s guild and killed a staggering number of people. His malewife is the leader of a sect of insane murderous outcasts, and he attained his position by proving to be the most crazy and murder happy of them all. Most of the plot involves him wandering around watching his schemes get more people killed. Together they adopt a kid that was only orphaned due to said scheming (oops). They’re terrible and I love them.

[sapphiccharacterotd]

Sapphic Character of the Day Submissions + FAQ

HELLO!! I'm accepting submissions for sapphic characters! I prefer characters who are canon sapphics, but implied is okay as well! You're allowed to submit headcanons, but I would prefer to promote media that features canon sapphics :) (/nm)

Submit as many characters as you like, but please try and keep it to this format so I can search for the character:

Formatting:

"[Character Name] from [Media] is a [canon/implied/headcanoned] sapphic. " (You may paraphrase, btw!)

You may also include things like:

Sexuality

Gender

Pronouns

Disability (I have a soft spot for this one as a disabled sapphic, haha. I would prefer this to only be canon/implied disabilities though)

Who they're in a relationship with/have a crush on (Only canon/implied stuff for this one please)

Your username

Anything else you'd like to include

If it's from a lesser-known media, you may wanna submit a photo with it.

Here's an example of one of my posts:

FAQ

(I'm writing this when I first started this blog so these technically aren't "frequently asked questions" but you get the idea T_T)

1. Can I submit real people?

No.

2. Can I submit characters played by actors?

You may! HOWEVER, I won't edit them onto a pride flag as I usually do because I feel uncomfortable putting a real person's face on them.

3. Can I submit my own characters?

Sorry, but no, unless your characters are like, published or something, if that makes sense? If you're the creator of like a webcomic, video game, or whatever, you can submit your character, but please indicate that you're the creator and what series they are from in case I need more info.

4. Someone has submitted a character from a problematic media.

I'm sorry! I try to do a little digging, but if I happened to miss something about a show/book/etc. being problematic, please let me know (and explain why it is) so I can take it down!

5. Someone has submitted a character as something that goes against their canon sexuality/gender.

What I mean by this is basically any kind of lesbian/bi/trans/ace/etc. erasure. If this happens, I'm sorry! Again, I try to do a bit digging, but if I happened to miss something, please let me know (and explain what they canonically are) so I can either edit the post or take it down!

6. Why haven't you posted my submission?

Sorry! There could be many reasons for this:

Tumblr being weird and losing it.

I couldn't find the character or media.

Your character was from problematic media.

Your submission was lesbophobic/biphobic/transphobic/aphobic/etc. or offensive for other reasons.

I was uncomfortable with your submission.

Your submission is currently queued but is going to take a bit to post.

Something else.

I do not have to give a reason for why I do not accept any particular submission.

7. Do you tag trigger warnings?

I try to! But if I miss something, let me know and I'll add it right away!

8. Is this blog sapphic run?

Yes!

9. Can I use your pride flag edits as a profile pic?

Sure!

10. How many times a day do you post?

Once a day, but not during weekends since I don't wanna run out of characters! But if I happen to get a bunch of submissions, I'll change that.

(I may update this in the future ^u^)

[lucysweatslove]

TW/Content warning re: domestic violence, IPV, questioning. May be v. triggering for victims/survivors of DV and IPV especially those who were not believed. (btw it is NOT about me directly; I am in a loving and generally healthy relationship and I have never personally experienced DV (as a side-side note, one of my best friends has, we helped her get out))

So. My sister is visiting my parents atm. My mom's family reunion thing is going on rn and my sis drove up to attend. (I have just barely started to feel like Me again after Rural Site Adventure, hence opting out).

Background, p 1: my family has a fam friend we'll call N. N was a past student of my mom's, I think potentially a past client but I can't fully remember the story there. She is "in between" my parents' age and mine/my sister's- I'm not sure if she's technically a young Gen X or an older Millennial, but just to give some context regarding age. My family gave her a lot of support when she was getting her life set up, including financial support in the form of interest-free loans. When my little sis was tiny (she is very much Gen Z, still in high school), N lived with us and would help out a ton around the house, with child care, even doing things like chaperoning my dates when I was in high school. There was a bit of a blow-up idk how long ago where my mom felt like N was mothering my little sis too much and boundaries were getting mixed up, and then idk when but then they made up. I've been mostly out of the house for 12 years and totally living away from them for like 9 years, so I don't remember a lot of the specifics.

Background, p 2: My parents' relationship is not great. The gist is: a lot of infidelity from dad and my mom has a lot of emotional lability for as long as I can remember. She can get pretty mean and is prone to a lot of emotional manipulation and tactics like gaslighting, goalpost-moving, triangulation with me + my older sis, guilt-tripping, diminishing others' experiences... i mean we all do these things from time to time, but she does them very often and only on the VERY rare occasion does she take responsibility (I am not saying my dad's infidelity was caused by my mom's emotional lability or that it set off the emotional lability, and I'm not excusing anybody's behaviors; I think all of this is super multi-factorial). Early on when I was in college, before I really knew much, my dad sat us all down (with my mom, after talking with her) and confessed to his infidelity + said he was considering divorcing mom to be with the woman he was cheating with. I laid into him basically saying that running away from all of us wouldn't solve whatever lead to his cheating and make him happy. He already is once divorced (idk why/what happened with his prior marriage, he hadn't yet met my mom even so that wasn't it). I told him maybe he needs to figure out what HE needs to change rather than flitting around from person to person hoping it'll work out. He decided to stay, they went to therapy, there have been no signs of further incidence (not that it's impossible, but my mom also monitors everything his does including his whereabouts via his phone 24/7). Though my mom will say she's forgiven him, she doesn't act like it- and I get trust has been broken, but it extends further to like, financial control, eg, refusing to let my dad who is actually considered elderly now retire, won't let him buy a new speaker system while my mom takes multiple long international trips. And my parents are well-off. They have the money for all of that.

Okay now the issue.

Apparently N was talking with my sister and mentioned something about Mom and domestic violence. My sis asked if I've ever heard any of their issues phrased like that- and no, never. That alone doesn't mean much - although my mom has called BOTH of us in tearful crisis-mode before and has shared more than I think is appropriate, DV is like the one thing many victims/survivors hide and never actually speak up about.

But... my mom is not shy with her body around any of us. Not a nudist, but has no issue changing while talking with us, going to the bathroom with doors open. She has never "hidden" her body in any way at home. She will hide sometimes (choosing baggier clothing, longer sleeves or lengths) when she is out in public, but I think this is partly Mormon modesty and partly body image issues, as again, she has never taken any precautions to hide her body around us kids. In all my memorable life, I have never not once seen unexplained injuries on my mom. I have seen a few small bruises on legs or arms and not known exactly where they have come- but honestly, I would see them after she was doing manual type labor like moving wood, working outside, reorganizing the pantry, moving heavy furniture... and never bruises in a weird pattern or suspicious location, never multiple bruises in different stages of healing.

I also don't sleep well and often don't have a good 24 hr sleep cycle. I don't think I'm non-24, but my sleep/wake cycles are highly variable. My little sister would have night terrors, too, and wake up from them not remembering but also needing help settling back to bed (she would come and get me or ask to sleep in my room frequently). Since I was the only other person upstairs, I stayed up to listen for her terrors so I could be there when she woke up and she wouldn't have to toddle around to find support. This means that during middle school and all throughout high school, I very rarely slept throughout the night. This also means I heard many many many fights between my parents. I have also quietly tiptoed down the stairs to see what tf was going on more times than I can count. I have never seen any signs of physical aggression from my father in these arguments. Definitely both sides are v guilty of emotional and verbal abuse, which is still abuse and is still a problem. I'm just saying I have never seen outward aggression (hitting, punching, kicking, flailing, throwing anything at all, breaking anything, etc) nor have I seen posturing or yelling. More times than not, if somebody even raised their voice, it was my mom.

When I was a child and spanking was still a think "experts" recommended (apparently), my mom would tell my dad to spank me for a punishment, and my dad couldn't do it and would pretend- he would whisper to me that he was going to put his hand palm-up and smack his own hand so it "looked" real if my mom was watching, and I was to scream and cry so it sounded real.

My dad was a vet before he was a psychiatrist. He left vet medicine in part because he was so sad every time he had to put down an animal, or see animals being mistreated. We had many animals growing up from dogs to hamsters and rats and guinea pigs to horses and bird and fish and cats. 0 signs of aggression with them- the worst thing is when he's really mad because a dog went potty in the house he'd get kinda gruff and grumble and swear.

This does not mean that my dad cannot ever be aggressive, or has not ever been aggressive. This does not mean that when I'm not around he acts the same way. I'm not saying it is impossible, or that my mom is definitely lying or "lying by omission" and hinting that the verbal abuse has extended to physical abuse too. I'm not saying things haven't been hidden from me.

I'm just saying... in my nearly 3 decades of life, I have not once seen my dad be truly aggressive. Even while drunk- he's not aggressive, he gets giggly and silly and then tired and falls asleep. My sisters (both of them) have not seen anything, any signs. Even looking back retroactively- nothing that we can say "omg maybe that was a sign we missed." In the patterns I've seen, including where my parents don't know I'm witnessing it, my dad is a huge pushover and my mom will show more signs of anger and aggression. I am getting weird vibes from all of this, and I'm legitimately concerned about why my mom is saying / insinuating these things.

Edit bc I forgot a part that I wanted to share but got too distracted.

My mom also has had some health stuff. She has MGUS which is kinda like a blood pre-cancer, specifically for her it’s like pre-multiple myeloma, but progression is slow and prognosis is overall good. But, this was discovered during workup for pernicious anemia. There’s no real known time frame for how long she had pernicious anemia. B12 deficiency (a main cause of pernicious anemia) can lead to a host of psych stuff including cognitive slowing, confusion, changes in memory, depression, and sometimes even delirium or acute psychosis. She did do B12 shots but it’s been a while since she’s done them, I think. But during that time, her memories were WEIRD. Like she would mix up things between us kids frequently, invent random and totally benign memories (she was convinced I not only ran track in 4th/ 5th grade but was really good at it, when reality was I tried to get out of running in PE because it hurt my throat/burned to breathe while running).

When she was a child, there was also possibly some DV in the home? It’s kind of unclear what exactly happened, but it’s a real possibility. My granny had some form of psychosis at one point- again not sure exactly because this was a long time ago (my mom’s a boomer) but I was told had a gyn condition that would cause her hallucinate/send her into an acute psychotic state, and once she had a hysterectomy, she was better. There was speculation it was ovarian cysts (per my mother; also, not PCOS) but never a confirmation. I have had a burst ovarian cyst that sent me to the hospital and I thought I was dying from the pain, but no psychosis. Anyway. My sis and I wonder if she had a teratoma and had autoimmune encephalopathy.

The point tho, my granny would hallucinate something like dishes in the sink and tell my mom to do them, but there wouldn’t be any dishes to do. So then granny would think she was blatantly disobedient, and punishment back then sometimes was corporal. I don’t have details from my mom, so I don’t know what happened, but we now know that any corporal punishment is detrimental and essentially DV, so regardless of how far it went, it’s problematic.

So, what I’m getting at: my mom has historically had B12 deficiency bad enough to have serious pernicious anemia, and my sis and I noticed a major cognitive shift around that time. She would mix up memories all the time. Since she’s had it before, she could develop it again. And that could lead to increased irritability, cognitive change, MEMORY issues. And she likely has very real DV memories.

Me, wanting to see best in everybody bc I’m just the perfect picture of an optimist (sarcasm), wonders: what if my mom currently has pernicious anemia and B12 deficiency again to the point her memory and cognition are all kinds of messed up, and she’s confusing her real memories from her childhood with my dad? Especially if the same feelings (eg powerlessness) came up.