#this is rather short due to them only being 4 kids and not seven

[becomewings]

BTS Universe Timeline

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INTRODUCTION

The goal of this guide is to chronologically map the major plot points of BTS Universe (BU), a fictional transmedia narrative centered on the lives of seven young men who share names with the members portraying them. The complexity of the timeline is magnified by the time loops that begin and reset on 11 April Year 22, so careful attention will be given to tracing how the loops diverge from one another after that date. The guide will be published over multiple posts.

Most of the information in the timeline is drawn from the official English-version publications of The Notes: The Most Beautiful Moment in Life 1 and The Notes: The Most Beautiful Moment in Life 2 (hereafter shortened to Notes 1 and Notes 2). Other resources are referenced as necessary, including the Notes released with certain physical albums, the Save Me webtoon, the official BU content in the BTS Universe Story mobile game, and BU music videos/short films. Summaries from the album Notes are based on translations by twitter user @/origamifirefly. Character names are abbreviated in parentheses next to the print sources to indicate the perspective from which the original entries are written.

Dates are presented as they appear in the texts. The single or double-digit year number most likely corresponds with SeokJin’s age rather than a calendar year. (In Korea’s age-calculating system, everyone’s age increases by one year on January 1st regardless of when their birthday falls in the calendar.) There are enough clues scattered throughout the text to suggest that the characters’ ages reflect the real-life age differences of the members. For example, JungKook is five years younger than SeokJin; they overlap in high school because SeokJin is held back a grade after returning from the American school system. Ages that are explicitly stated in official sources will be included in the timeline whenever possible.

BTS Universe deals with many difficult and potentially triggering themes, so please read the content warning in the Timeline Guide before proceeding. The Guide section will be included on all future posts for quick reference.

TIMELINE GUIDE

Content warning: contains references to death, suicide, suicidal ideation, child abuse, domestic violence, blood, homicide, depression, trauma, PTSD

This guide contains major spoilers from all BU media

Revisions and additions will be made as necessary, so please visit the original post for the most up-to-date version (update log is included at bottom of post)

All names are provided as fully as known

Bracketed dates are inferred or calculated from references in the text

While the timeline is presented here as objectively as possible, I acknowledge that there is a level of subjectivity in choosing which information is significant enough for inclusion and in certain connections drawn between entries

Please inform me of any suspected errors; I will investigate and correct them

Do not repost, copy, or quote without permission

Shadows of Our Childhoods

     - Beginning through Year 18 -

[Year 9]

Jung HoSeok (age 7) is abandoned by his mother at an amusement park and moves into an orphanage. His age is referenced in his 31 May Year 22 entry from Notes: Her.

The earliest entry of the Notes published so far is HoSeok’s 30 August Year 9 (Notes: 7). Some older boys wake him up at night, and he reluctantly sneaks up to the rooftop with them. Fireworks explode in the sky. HoSeok is shocked at first and then entranced. The older boys tease him for crying, but he can’t stop the tears.

Note: It’s reasonable to assume that this unidentified rooftop location is the orphanage HoSeok grows up in. Therefore, his mother left him sometime before 30 August—possibly that summer, due to his unexplained tears. 

10 October Year 9 Notes 1 (SJ)

Kim SeokJin (age 9) runs away from school with a friend to protect him from men who want to use him as leverage to get money from his father, Mr. Choi, who disappeared after his company shut down. SeokJin tries to hide the friend in his room at home, but his father, Kim ChangJun, arrives with one of the men and allows him to take the boy away. ChangJun tells SeokJin to be a “good kid.” The friend never returns to school.

Note: SeokJin’s age is specified in BTS Universe Story: The Boy on the Threshold, ep.3.

28 February Year 10 Notes: 7 (TH)

Kim TaeHyung encounters an older boy feeding the dog that he frequently plays with outside of the supermarket. He tells the boy that when his father earns a lot of money and moves their family into a big house, he can take the dog and raise him. After TaeHyung presses him a second time, the boy reveals that his name is Kim SeokJin.

23 July Year 10 Notes 1 (HS)

While counting in front of his class, HoSeok recalls the day at the amusement park when his mother handed him a chocolate bar and told him to close his eyes and count to ten. He feels like she will never come looking for him if he finishes counting to ten, and then he collapses.

Note: His mother abandoned him at the amusement park when he was seven (Year 9).

29 December Year 10 Notes 1 (TH)

TaeHyung’s father returns home drunk and disheveled after an absence and abuses him for the first time.

6 April Year 11 Related post: The Arboretum Notes 1 (JM)

Park JiMin (age 8) visits the Grass Flower Arboretum on a school picnic day. While his classmates are all accompanied by their mothers, his own parents are too busy to make it. At the end of the trip, he ignores his teacher’s call to wait and tries to walk home alone. With only his backpack in hand, he is caught in a torrential downpour and seeks shelter in a small warehouse near the back gate. JiMin wakes up in a hospital after he is found unconscious in the arboretum with no memory of what happened. He develops seizures as a result of this unnamed trauma and is frequently hospitalized as he grows up.

Note: This day is also referenced in his entries for 11 May, 19 May, and 4 July of Year 22; the lattermost specifies his age.

Notes 2 (JM)

JiMin reflects on what really transpired at the arboretum in his 12 August Year 22 entry, which also reveals that his memory returned due to a chance encounter on 15 September Year 20. Inside the dark and cluttered warehouse, young JiMin falls asleep and is awoken by an iron door clanging shut and the sound of someone breathing. He discovers an interior room and creeps closer. A small, pale hand appears on the other side, startling him. Someone whistles outside and opens the warehouse door. He hides under a desk and watches a man enter the interior room. Through the man’s legs, JiMin can see a small boy lying on the floor with bruised arms and legs and scars on his wrists from being tied up too long. Their eyes briefly meet. JiMin senses that he is asking for help. The man turns around, and the boy stabs his thigh with a boxcutter before he notices JiMin hiding. The man disarms the boy and slams the door shut. JiMin escapes the warehouse under the cover of the violent noises within. No one is around to help. He runs through the pouring rain and mud, frequently falling and scraping his knees. He collapses at the back gate with an image of the boy’s bleeding hand in his mind. He wakes up at the hospital surrounded by his parents, a doctor, and a nurse. They question him about what happened, but JiMin does not remember.

Note: In the same 12 August Year 22 entry, JiMin explains that he conducted research online into the incident. He learned that the boy’s family name is Choi, he was five at the time, and he was discovered near Hwayong Mountain on April 10 suffering from temporary amnesia caused by shock. JiMin could not find any follow-up articles on the police investigation. Additionally, he reveals the real cause of his seizure at the bus stop on 15 September Year 20: he saw the same boy in the window of the Grass Flower Arboretum shuttle bus. “His empty eyes no longer spoke” to JiMin.

21 July Year 12 Notes 1 (SJ)

After his mother’s death, SeokJin is sent by his father to live with his maternal grandmother in the U.S. (The city is specified as Los Angeles in his 1 February Year 22 entry from Notes: 7.) His father breaks his promise to see him off at the airport.

30 September Year 12 Notes: 7 (JK)

Jeon JungKook (age 7) slips through a crowd of people surrounding a massive sinkhole, wanting to see what’s inside of it. Dirt crumbles beneath his sneaker and he almost loses his balance at the edge. When he steps back, he sees something that is both like a light and another hole inside the hole.

Note: Compare to his Notes 2 Epilogue, XX XX Year XX, when he sees a bottomless hole below and the moon (or “a big hole in the sky”) above where he floats.

[Winter Year 12] Notes 1 (JK)

JungKook (age 7) overhears his father telling his mother that the world “was too heavy for him to bear” and that “there’s nothing he can do for JungKook.” He leaves their family forever.

Note: I calculated this season/year from his 11 September Year 17 entry, in which JungKook has waited ten days to receive a birthday card from his father; he has four cards saved in a drawer. (This also matches his real-life age difference with Jin.) He reflects on his father leaving him during the winter when he was 7 years old. He believes: “I was the world that was too heavy for him to bear—that world that he gave up on. A child who can never be the reason to endure it all. That was me.”

21 May Year 15 Notes: 7 (NJ)

Kim NamJoon returns home late from playing with his friends. The house is unusually dark and empty, giving him a chilling sense of foreboding. The phone rings and he senses that if he answers it, his life will forever change.

Note: It is likely that this is one of the times, if not the first time, his father is hospitalized due to a serious illness. About a year later, in his 21 June Year 16 entry of Notes 1, NamJoon describes how he coaxed his boss to hire a middle school student to post flyers. His family struggles financially with his father’s hospital bills and their overdue utilities.

19 September Year 16 Notes 1 (YG)

Min YoonGi arrives home and finds it devoured by flames. Frozen, he thinks of his mom and watches the house collapse. A neighbor asks him if his mom is inside, and he answers “no” without thinking. YoonGi’s mother dies in the fire.

Note: Some people suspect that YoonGi’s mother set the fire deliberately. In episode 6 of the Save Me webtoon, YoonGi recalls his father warning him against pursuing music unless he wants to “go crazy and kill [himself] like [his] mom did.”

2 May Year 18 Notes: Persona (NJ)

NamJoon and his father return home from the hospital to see the family’s belongings piled outside. They were evicted after his younger brother NamHyeon got in a fight with the landlord’s son who came to collect their overdue rent. The owner of the local supermarket allows them to move into its storage room. Exhausted, NamJoon snaps when his mother frets and asks where his brother is. The supermarket owner gives him a can of beer. In a later Notes 2 entry, he reflects that he was probably 16 at the time.

Note: On 18 June Year 22 in the Notes 2 timeline, NamJoon recounts this story to SeokJin at a street pub as a preface to asking when SeokJin drank alcohol for the first time, testing his memory.

----------------------------------------------------------

Update Log

Posted January 13, 2021

Linked to next part added May 5, 2021

Do not repost.

[justmypartner]

Still Breathing: Chapter 4

Summary: AU | When a case goes sideways, Hailey wakes up in the hospital with a revelation that leaves her evaluating her life. While she recovers at Med, she meets Jay, an aloof, yet intriguing patient that catches her by surprise. The two get to know one another as they take on the task of rediscovering what it’s like to truly live, and eventually learn their lives intersect in more ways than one.

Writer’s Note: Hello all! I hope you are enjoying this story so far! I don't have much to say other than I so appreciate the kind comments I've gotten thus far! I really enjoy the feedback and discord after posting a chapter, so keep it coming - I love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy!!

Read on AO3 or below

A glow of sunlight filtering in through her curtains pulled Hailey out of a deep sleep the next morning. As her eyes fluttered open, part of her was waiting for the other shoe to drop. For it to be just another dream that would morph into a nightmare and leave her waking with tacky, sweat-covered skin and an irregular pulse. It took her a moment, but she eventually realized it wasn’t another dream. She was awake, and she had just slept fully through the night, unobstructed by her haunting memories. A naive thought credited it to Jay’s text from the night before, but the cynic in her figured it was just her many nights of restlessness finally catching up with her. Whatever it was, she was glad for that one night of freedom. It wasn’t enough to convince her the nightmares were gone completely, but she was willing to take what she could get. 

When she checked the clock on her bedside table, it read 15 minutes before her alarm was due to go off. She climbed out of bed then, figuring she could use the extra time with how much longer getting ready took with one arm still out of commission. Showering was a hassle, doing her hair was nearly impossible, and getting dressed required a specific strategy she hadn’t quite perfected yet. By the time she had gathered the last of her things to stuff into her duffle, it was time to go.  

The final thing she did was pull her sidearm from the safe in her bedroom and secure it in the side of the bag. She found it strange to wear her star without her weapon. It left a misplaced feeling in the back of her mind like she was forgetting something, but it was a feeling she knew she’d have to get used to over the next few weeks. 

As unexciting as desk duty sounded, she was glad in a way that she’d be able to ease back into things. She wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but after everything that happened, the thought of going into the field was unsettling. Physically she was feeling 100%, with exception of her arm still being in a sling, but mentally she wasn’t prepared for the field again. She was more than ready to be back at work. She hated being out, leaving the team short-handed after only two weeks of joining them to solve just that, so she was eager to get back to them. She was just glad that the shooting’s effects on her body provided a reason to disguise the mental ones that left her hesitant to get back on the streets. 

When she finally made it to work, she took a deep breath before climbing the steps into the district. She wasn’t sure what to expect. She warned the team against any sort of welcome back. At her old district, it was a tradition to greet cops who were injured on the job with a grand welcoming, but she always hated the idea of it. The attention was bad enough, but she always thought it was strange to celebrate someone almost dying for simply doing their job. Immediately as she reached the top of the steps, her shoulders relaxed to see the lobby empty. Not even the ever so illustrious desk sergeant was at her post, so she took the opportunity to sneak upstairs. 

She was surprised to be greeted with a vacant bullpen. She wasn’t sure who she was expecting, but she imagined at least someone would have beaten her there. As she moved through the space towards the locker room, a low wince behind the desks stopped her in her tracks. She then heard what sounded like someone falling over, followed by a murmur of suppressed laughter. 

“Okay, what the hell is going on?” she finally questioned, both amused and muddled by the unsourced noises. 

“This is officially the last time I include Ruz in a surprise,” Kim said, shaking her head with an enlivened grin as she and the other two Intelligence members climbed out from behind the desks.

“You stepped on my foot, what’d you expect me to do?” Adam bridled, causing Hailey and the others to let out stifled snickers. 

God, did she miss those idiots.

“Sorry, Upton. This was supposed to be a fun little welcome back, but I guess it’s a bit anticlimactic now so uh, here,” Kevin said, extending the cup of coffee in his hand out to her. “Welcome back,” he smiled, his contagious smile enough to get her grinning from ear to ear. 

“Thanks, guys,” she said quietly. “You didn’t have to do anything, but I appreciate it, and I’m just glad to be back.”

“We’re glad you’re back,” Kim said, the two guys nodding in agreement. Hailey smiled, dipping her head sheepishly before cutting the sudden silence with a sigh.

“Well, I still need to hit the locker room, but I fully expect a rundown of what I’ve missed while I was gone when I come back,” she told them before turning on her heels and heading down the hall. 

As she was putting the last of her things into her locker, her phone buzzed in her pocket. She sat on the bench behind her as she retrieved the phone, tapping the screen to read the message that had just come in. Her face instantly lit up when she saw who it was from.

Happy first day back! Kick ass!

Her fingers tapped out a response quickly. 

Kinda hard to do that from a desk, but I’m sure I’ll find a way lol

She settled on it before pocketing the phone and making her way back into the bullpen. The team caught her up on what she’d missed, and she told them about how uneventful her recovery was, leaving out the part where she met a new friend. They dished out all of their details, work-related and non-work-related until Voight eventually showed. He took only a brief moment to check up on Hailey and welcome her back before they dove into the day’s case.

Hailey spent the rest of the day combing through pod footage, making phone calls, and digging up any other information she could to relay back to the team. It wasn’t the most glamorous part of the job, but it kept her busy and it helped her to find her groove again. 

By the end of the day, they were unofficially able to close up the case. They still had batches of paperwork to fill out, but other than that it was pretty cut and dry, so Voight sent them home.

As they exited the district, her three fellow officers expressed how happy they were to have her back for the last time that day. It gave her the warmest feeling as she realized she got to work with some of the best people she’d ever met, but it also made her happy to have been so clearly missed by them. Walking out with them she took in every smile and every laugh. It was such a trivial moment, but it was the kind of memory her new outlook on life made her want to cherish.

When she pulled up outside of her place, a car she’d never seen along her street before caught her eye. It was a baby blue, vintage, convertible of some sort. She wasn’t much of a car person, but it was just one of those cars no person could refuse to appreciate. After one last glance at it, she hopped out of her own car and made her way up to her front door. She froze when she saw a friendly figure perched on her small stoop. A confused smile crept across her face as Jay stood, shoving his hands in his pockets as he sauntered towards her. 

“Hi?” She greeted, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Hey, how was your day? Did you kick ass?” he asked casually, now standing only but a few feet in front of her. 

“Good, and I guess as best as I could behind a desk… what are you doing here?” she asked, her eyes darting around in confusion. 

“In honor of your first day back, we are going to cross something off my list,” he told her. His words coming out slowly, and she noted the way they came out as a statement rather than a question. 

“It better not be the one where you jump in the Chicago River,” she challenged, pointing a finger out with her words. He let out a chuckle, his mouth twisting into a sinister smile. 

“No…” she muttered, a sudden bout of fear rising in her. 

“I’m kidding, come on,” he instructed, brushing past her as he nonchalantly headed out toward the street. 

It was only when he stopped at the driver’s side of the car that she realized the connection.

“Wait, that’s yours?” she questioned, a look of disbelief on her face. 

“Don’t look so surprised,” he replied, the rise in his voice’s pitch revealing to her that he was bluffing. All it took was one raised brow, and he immediately caved. 

“Okay fine, it’s a loaner. I’ve got a lot of friends in high places,” he shrugged, steadying a hand against the top of the door as he jumped over it and into the driver’s seat. 

Since they’d met, she’d tried to keep her thoughts about him purely platonic. For the most part, she’d been fairly successful, but there was something about the way he jumped into that seat so smoothly that was so damn hot. That, the green beanie he wore that brought out the forest color of his eyes, and the way he looked so confident in that car had her questioning her feelings for a moment. She stood on the sidewalk looking over at him, slightly lost in a lingering gaze as butterflies danced about in her stomach. It was only when he cleared his throat that she was snapped out of it. 

“So, you coming or what?”

“Coming where?”

“It’s item number seven on my list, rent a convertible and drive down Lake Shore late at night,” he smirked, one arm propped against the headrest of the passenger seat and the other draped over the steering wheel. 

“Okay, that actually does sound pretty fun. Let me put my bag up,” she told him, lightly jogging to her front door before haphazardly tossing the bag into the dark space and locking up again. As she approached the car, he leaned over and pushed the door open for her, and she slipped into the passenger seat. 

“Ready?” he asked, and she confirmed the question with a nod. 

When he started the car, the roar of the engine was loud enough to send a judder through her bones. When he sped off down the street, she found herself instinctively clutching at the sides of the car for stability. She was filled with equal parts fear and exhilaration as they raced up and down half-empty streets. 

By the time they reached Lake Shore, the sun had already set, but twilight brought out a deep blue tinge that stood out against the city lights. It was like she was seeing the city for the first time. Like she was falling in love with it all over again. That view, with the roar of the engine, wind blowing through her hair, and the 70s roadtrip music he’d put on playing through the old stereo made her feel like she was in a movie. He drove the road until they reached just about the outskirts of the city. He pulled the car off somewhere near Montrose beach and got out, quickly running over to her side to open her door. 

“And they say chivalry’s dead,” she teased, masking the way the simple act had her stomach doing flips. He rolled his eyes at her, a slightly embarrassed smile on his face as she stepped out and he pushed the door shut behind her. 

“So what are we doing here?” she questioned as he led them closer to the shore of the lake. 

“I don’t know. We ran out of road, the lake’s pretty in the moonlight, and after a boring day of desk duty, I feel like it’s not a half-bad way to end the night,” he said simply, sitting down on the ledge by the lake. 

As she sat down with him, she quickly realized how much colder it was by the water. The brisk wind brushing against her skin through the open top of the car was one thing, but the coolness of the lakefront breeze was almost intolerable. She suddenly wished she’d thought to grab her jacket from her duffle before they left. As she settled down beside him, she clutched her arms tightly against her chest as shivers jumped through her body. Before she knew it, as if he had read her mind, he shimmied off his jacket and held it out to her. She thanked him, a tone of gratitude and hesitation in her voice as she pulled it on over her shoulders. When she did, she noticed him glancing over at her badge still displayed on her hip. His eyes lingered there before he realized she’d caught him looking and he quickly diverted his eyes, holding back whatever question the object had generated. 

“What?” she asked in an attempt to pull it out of him. 

“Hm? Nothing,” he shrugged off. She knew it wasn’t nothing, but she decided against pressing him for whatever it was. She knew the job was a touchy subject, and she figured it was best to leave it alone.

“So I’ve been meaning to tell you, and I may sound crazy for this, but part of me feels like your text last night actually worked,” she informed him, fidgeting with a loose pebble she found on the ground beside her. 

“What text?” his face contorted as he seemed to comb through his memory from the night before. “Oh wait… no nightmares?”

She shook her head.

“First night without them after more than three straight. Maybe you’ve got some sort of magic touch,” she half-joked, her tight-lipped grin growing across her face.

“I don’t know if I can take credit for that, but that’s good. You deserve that peace,” his voice was soft and low, and she didn’t miss the way his cheek dimpled slightly when he flashed her a small smile.

“So what’d you get into today?” she asked him, tucking one of her legs in and twisting so that she could face him.

“Um let’s see, I had a doctor’s appointment this morning, went to the grocery store, had a therapy session this afternoon, you know, all very exciting things,” he said, counting out each activity on his fingers.

“You go to therapy?” she asked, instantly regretful of the almost judgmental tone she carried as the words left her mouth. She just couldn’t help but be surprised that someone like him, a cop, a veteran, a man would be so open about it. She realized the thought only played into the toxic mentalities surrounding mental health and masculinity that she despised so much, but part of her also wondered if it was her own reluctance to start therapy that made her so staggered by the idea. 

“Yeah, for a few years now. Based on your reaction, I’m going to assume you don’t?”

“I’ve done the mandatory sessions with the department shrink after shootings before, but never anything consistent. How’d you get started?” she wasn’t even sure if it was an appropriate question to ask, but she was so intent on knowing more that she didn’t take time to second guess it. Though, she was relieved when his face read an expression of musing rather than one of annoyance. 

“There’s a bad take we often absorb as cops — as people really, but even more so as cops. We get injured on the job, we do whatever we need to do to heal, and we jump through whatever hoops we gotta jump through just to get back out there. The problem is there’s such a focus on our physical healing that we neglect what needs to be addressed mentally. I went through my whole life doing that. You get to a point where after so many times of telling people you’re fine, you start to convince yourself that you are,” he inhaled deeply, staring out at the lake briefly before he brought his eyes back to her and continued.

“Thing is, you do that for too long and you start to lose sight of what’s real. I was so against getting help, so against the idea that there was anything wrong with me that I began to just accept the fact that I was suffering. Then one day, that sense of reality I’d lost came back and bit me… hard. After that, I started going to therapy, very reluctantly at first, but eventually, I realized it was saving me. Helping me get to a place where I was healing instead of dealing, and I haven��t turned back from it since,” he finished, tightening his lips together as he peered into her eyes with a look of confidence. Like he knew everything he’d said was exactly what she needed to hear. 

“Damn,” she whispered, blankly staring out at the lake as she processed his words. She blinked rapidly to recede the tears that had emerged. She’d spent her entire life, best put in his words, dealing rather than healing. She was no stranger to trauma, in fact, she was far from it, but she was a stranger to properly addressing it. She wasn’t against therapy, she just figured she didn’t need it. That she was doing fine on her own, but that one conversation with him was making her think otherwise. 

“Well, maybe I should add therapy to my still breathing list,” she quipped, her best attempt at lightening the mood. 

“Not a bad thing to add,” he smirked, his face softening as he propped an arm behind him to lean back against. 

“Well, my first thing was kinda lame, so I figure it can only go up from here,” she joked, a mischievous grin spouting across her face. He scoffed, clutching at his chest as he feigned hurt by her words.

They talked for maybe longer than they should’ve, falling into an easy rhythm back and forth as they talked about anything and everything that came to mind. Hailey was the type of person who could talk to any and everyone if she had to, but there was something about talking to him that felt like a routine. Like one that she’d memorized by heart and never wanted to go without. After a while, she realized the time, realized she still hadn’t eaten, and that she had work early the next morning.

“God I didn’t realize how late it was, we should probably head back,” she told him, pushing herself up to stand. He nodded, standing with her as he fumbled in his pocket for the keys.

“Now… I know this was for my list but do you wanna drive back?” he asked, rising to stand with her. He dangled the keys in front of her. Her face brightened immediately, and he couldn’t hold in the puff of laughter that came with it.

“I thought you were never going to ask,” she joked, pulling his jacket tight across her body with her free hand before snatching the keys and making her way over to the driver’s side. As he climbed into the passenger seat, she crossed her good arm around the steering wheel to turn the key, and the engine started with a roar. She revved it a few times, looking over at Jay whose fearful expression had laughter escaping her lips.

“Am I going to regret this?” he asked, but instead of answering she just swiveled the steering wheel to pull off the shoulder, gunning the engine down the presently empty street. 

Before long they were back at her place, and she shifted the gear into park before turning off the engine. Driving with one arm was harder than she thought it would be, mainly for the fact that the ignition and gear shift were on the right side and her right arm was still in a sling. Yet, it didn’t stop her from having the time of her life driving such a car. She climbed out after she handed him back the keys, making her way around to lean against the back bumper.

“That was incredible,” she told him, digging in her pocket for her own keys.

“Anyone ever tell you that you drive like a maniac?” he jabbed, causing her to lightly kick at his leg.

“So what else is on that list of yours?” she inquired, noting the way he shadowed over her.

“Hm, I don’t know. I kind of liked surprising you tonight. If I tell you, it may take the fun away when we get around to the next one,” he admitted, a childlike softness in his voice that made it hard for her to be mad at his obscurity. She cut her eyes at him, and she noticed the way his brow furrowed back innocently.

“Are you always this aloof?” 

“Only with you.”

She rolled her eyes at him dramatically, shaking her head at his goading. 

“Well, thanks for tonight,” she said, pulling the jacket from her shoulders and offering it back to him. 

“Next time we’ll do something from your list,” he told her as she pushed herself from the car and made her way up to her front door. 

“Sounds like a plan,” she twirled around to tell him, her lips curling up at the thought of another night like that one. 

“And Hailey,” he called out, just as she reached the top of the steps. 

“Sleep well. No bad dreams,” he uttered, a small smile creeping across his face as his hands found way to his pockets.

It was the last time that night an action of his had caused an unexpected flutter in her stomach. She was embarrassed and somewhat fearful of the way those simple words had her feeling so dippy. Maybe it was the sentiment behind them, the way he’d said it, or the stupid smile on his face when he said it, but she wondered if the feeling that he’d erupted was more than just a fleeting one. She quickly pushed that thought down, dipping her head before hesitantly meeting his eyes once more. 

“Goodnight, Jay,” she told him before making her way inside, shutting the door and locking it behind her as if it would somehow protect her from what had just happened. 

She had to blame it on her exhaustion and the slight adrenaline rush she got from the night’s events. She’d also never had a friend like him. Someone who always had the perfect thing to say, whose company felt so natural and necessary, who seemed to relate so much to everything she was feeling. It was admiration more than anything, she told herself. He was just her friend, and he’d stay that way. Yet, as much as she tried to convince herself that all of those times that night that suggested differently were just flukes, she ended the night with a looming thought that wondered otherwise.

[miraculouscontent]

(non-Miraculous asks)

Anonymous said:

Ok this may just be me but I hate deconstructions. I feel like they are always mean spirited and try to be dark and edgy and thinks that every single person is an asshole because that’s “realistic” when no it’s not. This maybe because I like superhero stories and love it when the heroes overcome their struggles.

I can agree for the most part. Whenever I hear “okay but what if it was dArK--” I’m just okay, gonna stop you right there.

Anonymous said:

I swear, nothing bothers me more than people who want Miraculous Ladybug to literally just be Yandere Simulator(with Marinette as Ayano, Alya as Info-chan, Adrien as Taro, Chloe as Osana, Lila as Kizana, Kagami as Megami, and Luka as Budo). It just grinds my gears, especially because they're, once again, framing Marinette as a stalker, which just makes her look bad, AND pits all the girls against each other for Mr. Generic Harem Protagonist, once a-fucking-gain. Just go play the actual game, ok?

All I'm hearing is that now I have to ship Ayano and Budo and write a fic where the ghost girl uses fancy fantasy magic to merge her soul with Ayano and lets her actually have emotions, healing her from being a yandere while the ghost girl (in a way) gets to live a life she was cut short of, also allowing Ayano to be happy and go onto be friends with all the rivals.

Extremely convoluted but that’s the only way we get happy endings in this house.

Anonymous said:

I remember how, when writing Sailor Moon, Naoko Takeuchi refused to bow to older male writers wanted, say, for the girls to be stereotypical manga characters, with one being overweight, one being a stereotypical nerd, etc. But Naoko wanted each of the girls to be beautiful and feminine. While I don't like that they all share a body type, I admire how she didn't listen to grown men when writing for and about young girls. And I can't help but think about how Madoka is the antithesis of all that.

I can appreciate writers who put their foot down to stick to their values. There are limits of course, but yeah, a women writing women probably shouldn’t be listening to a man’s input. I’m sure good advice exists buuut...

Anonymous said:

What is your ranking of the seasons of the year from most to least favorite and why?

Summer - I work best in the warmth

Spring - Always brings images of flowers blooming to mind

Autumn - Things are getting cold and I don’t like it

Winter - It can go choke for all I care

Anonymous asked:

Someone on TV Tropes actually said that the name Feminist Fantasy should be changed because "feminism excludes men the same way meninism excludes women" and actually had the nerve to link that to the "Not So Different" trope, as if women haven't been excluded throughout the history of almost every human society. Fortunately, someone responded to them in a way that technically amounted to "do your damn research" but I'm still facepalming so hard at TV Tropes' "what about the men" rhetoric.

I feel like I lost braincells reading this.

Anonymous asked:

I feel like in fiction written by men there are only three flaws that female protagonists are allowed to have: clumsy, boy-crazy, or ashamed of their flat chests. I hate it.

Don’t forget, “having to listen to the men for how they’re supposed to feel.”

Anonymous asked:

Jatp. Nominated. For. Seven. Emmys. SEVEN!!!! Miraculous could NEVER. Literally.

omg!! Congrats to Julie and the Phantoms!

Anonymous asked:

WHAT ARE YOUR FLASHBACKS TO EVER AFTER HIGH?? I GOTTA KNOW? OMG?

Oh, I’ve seen basically the whole series, though the one I remember most is definitely Epic Winter. It was my favorite one though Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie so I’m biased.

I also like a lot of the “twists” and just--crazy concepts they rolled with, like with Red Riding Hood’s story and how Apple White gets woken up from her slumber.

Anonymous asked:

You're gonna be happy to hear this...I just started watching Cardcaptor Sakura today, and holy shit not only do I love it, but I also love how freaking META it is! I know you said you're not all that knowledgeable about Magical Girl, but this show is AWARE that it's a Magical Girl show! From Tomoyo(the main reason this show is so meta, tbh) realizing Sakura is a Magical Girl and asking if she has a transformation pose, to designing outfits for her(more on that later) to videotaping her(aka literally making a Magical Girl anime out of her Magical Girl friend), it just has fun with itself and plays with Magical Girl tropes without making a mockery of them like all those "dark" male-aimed ones do(lookin' at you, Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna!).

And not only is it hilarious and adorable(especially with Sakura's crush on Yukito, Tomoyo's crush on Sakura, and Touya picking on Sakura, but playfully), but I love how it's riddled with girl power. While watching some of the first episodes I was looking forward to seeing Syaoran(partly because I love male Tsunderes and partly because I can't pronounce his name), and was surprised that he wasn't in the first few episodes, but more importantly I was so happy to see a show that treats its female characters with respect and shows women unironically receiving support from other women and being shown possessing power and authority.

I love Sakura and Tomoyo's friendship even if I hate the trope of "Lesbian Never Gets The Girl"(not that I think she's entitled to Sakura's affections or anything, but still.) and watching her support Sakura in her magic endeavors without being jealous or vindictive, I love that they're allowed to be independent and smart but that the show doesn't forget that they're kids, instead of making them like Manon and Chris, and I love that the show passes the Bechdel test in pretty much the first or second episode, and that pretty much every important and unimportant character we meet that's not Sakura's family members, Kero, or Yukito(plus maaaayyybe the Shadow Clow Card) are female.

Even little things, like all FOUR of Tomoyo's bodyguards in the second episode being female without there being a "reason" or the show making a big deal of it(either in a "yay girl power!" way or a "what but women can't x" way or an objectifying way) fills me with insurmountable joy. Also, I love that the show follows the Magical Girl trend of pretty much admitting that femininity is power, since frilly dresses are stated to be the most "fitting" thing for a Cardcaptor to wear, as without it, they might not be mentally up to the task, and this is an unironic truth rather than a joke(although Sakura is shown to be embarrassed, but it's much more likely that she's simply not used to that kind of gear due to not being rich as Tomoyo is.) or a gag.

I just thought I should tell you this because I know you like Cardcaptor Sakura, and with the crappy episodes that just came out of this show, I think you deserve to read an ask that's about a GENUINE girl power Magical Girl show, instead of yet more Miraculous Ladybug salt or Madoka Magica hate(not that there's anything wrong with either of those two, but it just gets grating after a while.). Overall, I'm looking forward to watching this show, since I've been looking for a Magical Girl show to watch nowadays(I've been meaning to watch Star Twinkle Precure but I can't find the third episode and all of Cardcaptor Sakura is on YouTube now, so.). So excited!

Hey, I’m glad that you’re having fun with it!

Though, just a warning, you might wanna steer clear of the Clear Card arc. It’s a sequel to the original series made waaaay after the original (think the equivalent of Yashahime for Inuyasha, though continuing with the original characters) but omg I hated it.

Anonymous asked:

With the crappy Season 4 episodes that just came out I'm glad I got into Cardcaptor Sakura when I did. Who needs "Marinette needs to make a mistake every episode and learn something from it" when you can have genuine girl power and sweetness incarnate?

Alya could never compete with Tomoyo, I’m just sayin’.

Anonymous asked:

Your comment about white men feeling "disenfranchised" because more shows are about black people and/or women(I say and/or because the two aren't mutually exclusive.), as if there aren't a million other things they could be watching instead is so true! It reminds me of how I was talking to someone recently about the new generation of MLP, in which I stated that we didn't need a male mane pony(spoiler alert: they have one, sadly.), and he claimed that it would be beneficial since many shows aimed at boys at least try to include at least one main girl, and that it would be good for G5 of MLP to have at least one strong male lead so that boys could have a role model and know that the show isn't "girly".

Okay, so far, so good, but this I could chalk up to just unconscious internalized misogyny, especially since he didn't say it in any sort of "way". So I respectfully told him that the scale regarding representation is already not equal and that boys can look up to girls and that a show being girly is not a bad thing and all that stuff that you already know about. Then he responded claiming some stuff about how he keeps trying to pitch stories about straight white male characters and how nobody is accepting his offers and so this means that straight white men are underrepresented compared to everyone else. He even explicitly said, and I quote "White people are actually critically underrepresented in media right now. Especially boys."; I swear to the Goddess above.

At this point I was officially upset as a black girl, to hear this white(and presumably adult) man telling me that he was underrepresented in media compared to me, even saying that the media execs are practicing "quotas and tokenization"(and yes, he repeatedly used those terms for any instance of representation, even when I asked him politely to stop.) by replacing women with men or white people with pocs and are making white men look like incompetent doofuses.

He also kept saying stuff about how shows are always shoehorning people of color in where they don't belong by casting them in settings such as Shakespeare and medieval times when "realistically" there were no people of color during those time periods(which is obviously not true, it's just not what the history books show us.), and made a really insensitive comment about how black children in the USA today don't know the significance of having the first black president because the media supposedly already shows them black people in various professions(despite also claiming he couldn't speak to the "black experience" and yet here he is whitesplaining that shit.).

It got to the point where he was seriously and unironically using the word "blackwashing". When I pointed out to him that white men aren't underrepresented and that it's just his self-centered ego telling him that they are, that the word "blackwashing" isn't a thing, and that mis/underrepresentation in media DOES affect black kids negatively(even citing myself as an example) he went on to claim that I was being tone-deaf and that "blackwashing" is just as bad as whitewashing, and that making Ariel black is just as bad as making Jasmine white.

At this point I had to bang my head on the table and explain to him the difference; his ass still wouldn't get it. Eventually he started saying some really skeevy and hypocritical shite that white men say all the time when whining about how "oppressed and underrepresented" they are: that black people and/or women

(it looks like there might be an ask missing here, in which case, sorry if Tubmlr ate it!)

avor of supporting the commonly believed LIE that "women and/or minority groups don't have as much history worth learning about, so there's no point in focusing on them." He also kept using patronizing, condescending, mansplaining language such as "let me explain it to you" or "you still don't get it do you?", and when he said women had nothing to contribute to society because "oppression" he even had the nerve to tack on "welcome to the unequal society" as if I hadn't been lecturing him about just that.

Because obviously only white men did anything worthwhile or important in history. At this point, I had to block him. I couldn't take it anymore and this was on an MLP site of all places(although I'm probably just as guilty of that part, but at least I wasn't an ass!). I just can't stand white men who "want to be oppressed so bad" but still want to claim that their achievements are more important and deserve to be more prominent. Honestly, so many white men are so fragile the second they're not in the spotlight. I can't help but think that despite all the privilege afforded to their class being a white man sounds like the worst thing ever.

“he claimed that it would be beneficial since many shows aimed at boys at least try to include at least one main girl, and that it would be good for G5 of MLP to have at least one strong male lead so that boys could have a role model and know that the show isn't "girly". “

I might be looking too deep into that but I don’t like the idea of, “Well WE squeezed in a girl and therefore YOUR SHOWS--” like it’s some sort of matter of “fairness” or that boys’ shows aren’t putting in girls out of a genuine like for them but because they “need” one or it’s some sort of obligation.

Also, we need to stop this idea that boys can’t look up to female characters and vice versa for girls. You already said it but yeah.

And yeah, I hear "quotas and tokenization" and I officially tune out of whatever the person is saying, lol. White men are critically underrepresented???? Newsflash, maybe it’s just because others are being represented more??

Just the whole thing about whites being “underrepresented” boggles my mind. White people don’t have some sort of special ability or skill that other races can’t do themselves unless you count the “superpower” of white privilege.

Like, oh my god, all that “whitesplaining” and having to read the word “blackwashing” was physically painful. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I don’t know how they got hold of the technology to communicate with you from whatever time period their from, presumably the Stone Age.

Don’t even blame you for blocking them. There’s just a level of absolute... blindness? Arrogance??? That comes with the territory with them sometimes, I swear. You had every right to be upset; other races come to ask for equality and fair representation and suddenly you have these white men (not all obviously but damn) coming by and crying that they’re being oPpReSsEd. U_U

Like, honestly, my father in particular is absolutely that kind of person so I’ve heard that kind of stuff before. it’s all gross.

On a slightly unrelated note (trying to end this with some positivity), I hadn’t even heard about a fifth generation of MLP until I read this, and just wanted to let you know that I really hope you have a really good time with it! Hopefully the male character isn’t... well, you know.

[thecrimsonjaguar]

A Short List of Adventure Time AUs

So I got a google doc of adventure time aus I’ve made over the past two or three years. Here are some of my favorites (and also the ones I came back to and edited)

If you’ve got ideas for an au or ideas to add onto the preexisting ones I’ve got here, please tell me! I’m always up for some au discussion. 

1.) Jermaine AU: Jermaine comes to live at the treehouse after his house blows up. This, unlike canon, happens rather early in season 3. The rest of the series mainly stays the same, except this time there's three brothers instead of two. He's a kinda anxious dude with demon hunting expertise and a painting hobby. He sometimes wonders if he made Dad disappointed by letting all his work explode. Finn and Jake help him out, and he helps them. Despite this, Jermaine is the only one with a brain, and Finn and Jake share exactly one (1) braincell that they trade every so often. Jermaine is tired. (Jermaine is the only one who tries to clean regularly, and he's also the one to keep Neptr, Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant, and a few others company. He's a bit of real wisdom the early series Finn and Jake needed.

2.) Melted Ice AU: Mid season two, IK is hit with something that de-ages him. He turns six. Maybe this mystery de-aging thing blows up the top of the ice mountain, who knows. Maybe he wakes up in the snow, with no memory of how he got there or why. No memory of the last one thousand years. Finn and Jake don't know about his backstory since that happens in season three. Simon is carried by a snowman out of the ice kingdom where he breaks down in the plains. Finn, of course, finds him and is ecstatic to meet another human. Completely missing the fact that this small child is, in fact, the Ice King, Finn declares to help this boy no matter what. That promise soon becomes difficult when people hear about the second human in Ooo, and whatever effect that's keeping him young starts to wear off. (Marceline comes to visit and has a heart attack)

3.) Adventure Falls AU: AT x GF baybee!! Seventeen year old Stanley Pines hops on the Stan O' War and sets sail when he's kicked out. Unfortunately, that boat is nowhere near sea worthy, and all it takes for him to go overboard is one sudden (magical) storm. But, miraculously, Stan doesn't die. He washes up on Ooo, the island of misfits. Where there's daddy issues galore and punching things and getting gold is a legitimate career. He's found on the shore by none other than Finn, who asks if he's okay and if a dungeon adventure would soothe his worries. Stan accepts, because that sounds awesome, and they maybe date. For the next ten years, Stanley is a professional hero. He travels with Finn, he lives in a tower with tons of gold, he's respected, adored, and has made a family for himself. Ooo has a habit of forcing traumatic therapy onto to people, so Stan gets (read: is forced) to work his issues out. And then, somehow, he gets a postcard from his brother.

4.) Young Pups AU: Jake's kids grow up fast- but not that fast. He stays with lady for a few episodes being Dad and when the Pups are old enough, go visit Finn and Jermaine. Also Jermaine is there when the pups are born that always bothered me in canon like what the fuck. This whole AU results in Jake the Dad being a better father than in canon, because he actually has time to make mistakes and learn from them. He sometimes shapeshifts into one of those baby carriers but suited for five kids instead of one. Finn and Jermaine fight for best uncle privileges. Finn is considerably more awesome but Jermaine's got magic junk and juicy stories about Jake. So far the votes are: FINN: Jake Jr, T.V.  JERMAINE: Kim Kil Whan, Charlie. Viola remains undecided.

4.) Evilgreen AU: Evergreen was evil. His idea to make the crown to stop the comet was actually a cover story to take control of all the elements and freeze everything. Of course the same thing happens here as it did in canon, Gunther gets the crown and wishes to *be* evergreen. This is bad. Very bad, so bad in fact, that things get FUnKy. A couple eons later, Simon gets the crown as per canon, and then things start to slide downhill. Since the crown is significantly worse, Simon tries to get rid of it. No amount of magic pull is going to get him to put on the eldritch hat. It teleports back. When things go to shit, the crown tells him he's got two options: He can either live, or he can live unwillingly. This all coalesces in super angst and mild horror as Simon has to fight off evil urges and somehow keep both he and Marceline safe. Things start looking up, though, when he summons Hunson Abadeer.

5.) Nightmare Therapy AU: Simon, now himself post canon, has some funky nightmares. Problem is: he's due for a visit from the cosmic owl due to some mystical bureaucratic bs. If that were to happen, Simon's dreams of Golb and Orgalorg and the world ending and everyone dying and maze would come true, without the veil of metaphoric junk dreams are known for (also due to bureaucratic bs). So, Simon gets a dream therapist. An OC, probably, that would fight off his nightmares when they came and talk to him about his issues.

6.) High School AU: Except they're all still magic and crap. Finn's a jock that's part of the LDnD club(Literally Dungeons and Dragons), Jake's got a job at a pancake place and hosts the Card Wars clubs on Wednesdays, Jermaine's in college and their parents were still detectives/demon hunters. PB is preppy/nerdy girl with weird fucking family and is absolutely a mad scientist. Marceline is still a demon/vamp (vampire biker gang, they all died, deaths pending) and her uncle is Simon. Simon is a history teacher whose ex wife might be an eldritch abomination (the students wonder, but there are no answers)((simon says cryptic things every so often that are the subject of much ridicule, but he's a nice guy)). Ooo High has all of the AT characters in some shape or form. Tree trunks is the lunchlady, Mr Pig is a janitor. Lemongrab is just there. LSP(Q?) is a teacher because that's hilarious. Hunson is dead along with Marceline's mom because fuck hunson. Magic Man is a hobo that snuck onto campus and can't be chased off (his brother is the superintendent, Glob). there's a lot more but that's for a different word doc.

7.) Back to the Future AU: So PB fucks around with time travel, right? For science. She gets sent back in time a thousand years, before the war. Now, she's a pink lady who can shoot jelly beans from her hands, of course needs to lay low. And of course she needs to get home, but she's in a Futurama situation where she only has one type of time machine; the one that can go into the past. Not to mention her own time machine got busted on her way there, so she's double screwed. But, she remembers something. There is an individual (two, actually) that knows about time travel in this time period. She knows him, and he's likely to help her if she plays her card right. She needs to find Simon and get back to her own time, preferably without dooming herself in the process. (perhaps she tries to steal the notes Simon has, and Simon's completely oblivious, except Betty can smell trouble from a mile away and immediately notices some pink woman trying to steal books and she goes ham. Perhaps she goes ham in such a way that Simon doesn't notice. Perhaps this goes on for seven acts.)

8.) Bread and Butter AU: Bella Noche during the episode Betty creates a huge black cube that engulfs all of Wizard City. This box acts as a cage and prevents Wizards from escaping the magic purge. Simon is unable to bring Betty back from the past, and he's fading fast. In a desperate attempt to stop things from escalating, Simon chugs a bottle of anti-magic like a fucking god. He gets through the cube that surrounds Bella Noche and knocks their lights out. He passes out, and when he comes to, the anti-magic he consumed as merged with him. This is because of a simple rule: Magic sticks to magic, anti-magic sticks to anti-magic. And since humans have always had just a little bit of anti -magic present within them, humans and anti-magic go together like bread and butter (badumtish) ((I have actually written a fanfic about this, you can find it here))

9.) Swapped AU: Through various shenanigans Ice King's and Magic Man's powers gets swapped. These shenanigans somehow land them in space as well. This happens before Magic Man's trial. The swapping of their powers results in Simon getting his memory back. It also gives Magic Man the Ice Crown, unfortunately for him though, it seems to hate him. Simon's glad to back, but quickly realizes one issue: He's still crazy. So the pair try to make it back to Ooo. MM needs his powers to swap himself with some other shmuck so he doesn't croak when his trial comes, but Simon's made it clear he isn't giving his powers up without a fight. The pair starts off rocky, neither trusting the other, but space trouble forces them to work together. Simon's a nice enough guy he wouldn't leave someone to die and MM really needs Simon alive so it works out. A weird friendship forms, and they learn get along. Just a couple of crazy space wizards. Then the crown is destroyed. MM is freed from the crown's control, and he's freed from magic. He gets his sanity back, just in time for his trial.

that’s all I’ve got for now!

[yukipri]

On the Baratie, Part 5 Epilogue - a One Piece Mermaid AU Text Story

Here’s the final part of the Baratie series!

Includes my personal headcanons for Thatch’s backstory in this AU (and possibly canon, as I doubt we’ll learn much more about him sigh).

WARNINGS (actual warnings this time):

＊Trigger warnings for non-graphic violence, gore, unwilling self-harm, mention of thoughts of suicide, and body horror. Canon-typical dark backstory.

Slight ship warnings for: minor Sanji x Luffy, Thatch x Luffy, hint of bg Sabo x Luffy, but not ship-focused.

Continues off of past parts!

👒🐟On the Baratie, Part 1

👒🐟On the Baratie, Prologue

👒🐟On the Baratie, Part 2

👒🐟On the Baratie, Part 3

👒🐟On the Baratie, Part 4

~~

They've been traveling together for a while now. With more additions to the crew, Sanji's no longer the newest member. They leave East Blue, crossing over to the Grand Line. Their voyage continues onward.

Fitting into his role as the second cook of the ASL Pirates was easier than Sanji could have ever hoped, and he knows it's largely due to Thatch. Thatch, who, for all his incredible skill and titles and history, turns out to be...a remarkably normal person. It takes less than an hour for Sanji's awe over Thatch being his childhood idol to turn into pure indignation when the other cook professes his love for Luffy, and now their daily proposals to Luffy with food are just part of routine on the Merry.

(Sanji still knows his cooking is amateur in comparison to Thatch's, but none of their crew seems to realize, and Luffy eats all their food with equal gusto. Even Thatch himself only ever compliments Sanji, often with ridiculous faux outrage that Sanji's cooking looks better, which is absolutely false, Sanji would know. But even so, the man sounds so genuinely offended that Sanji can't help but appreciate the lengths the older man will go to in order to keep Sanji from feeling inferior.)

It's during a rare moment of calm, when the skies are clear and Deuce and Nami seem relaxed about their progress, when Sanji decides there's never going to be a better time to ask. He finishes washing the last of the pastry plates from the desserts the crew had just finished devouring (his hands momentarily pause on a plate that Ace had to pull out of Luffy's throat when she swallowed it whole along with the pastry, and Sanji allows himself a moment of imagining that the plate with her slobber is somewhat like an indirect kiss...), before he exits the kitchen to go to his locker.

From the locker, buried beneath gravure magazines of buxom ladies whose beauty will never compare to Luffy's, he pulls out a magazine far more valuable to him, the only one of its kind that he'd brought with him from the Baratie.

Back up on the main deck, Sanji finds Thatch sitting by the mast while watching Luffy and Usopp play with some new contraption the latter made. He looks up when he senses Sanji's approach, grimacing when the movement makes the wind blow his now loose hair into his mouth.

"I need a hair tie if Marco's not going to send me my damn hair wax," Thatch complains, even as he pats the ground next to him for Sanji to sit.

"You could always ask our lovely navigator," Sanji grunts as he drops down, careful not to fold the magazine, which Thatch has yet to notice.

"Ah, beautiful Miss Nami might have one, but her hair's pretty short...honestly more likely Deuce'll have one." Thatch sulks, because he'd really rather get a hair tie from a pretty lady, but as it is, Thatch probably has the longest hair on the crew at the moment, followed by their first mate. "If only our ladies had longer hair...ah, my darling Seastar with long hair..."

Sanji lets himself get drawn into imagining their most dazzling Lady Captain leaning against the rail of the Merry, sunlight sparkling off the waves in the background paling in comparison to her radiance. Her face is shadowed by her trademark straw hat, before she raises her head, causing long, silky strands to ripple around her like dark angel wings, glittering threads of black diamond dancing across her cheeks before she tucks them behind her ear with a small smile--

Both cooks sigh dreamily in perfect unison.

"Hey Luffy, they're thinking somethin' pervy about you again!" Usopp shouts in the background.

Both cooks ignore him, likewise in perfect synch.

Thatch regretfully pulls out of his Luffy Vision first. "So, you got something to talk to me about?" He knows it can't be about dinner, because they'd already started prepping for that.

Sanji blinks, and oh, there's Luffy, with her short hair, still just as lovely, probably doing something incredibly stupid and dangerous, but that's okay because Sabo's stepping in, and the Revolutionary may be batshit crazy but he won't let Luffy hurt herself--and right, he wanted to talk to Thatch.

He carefully brings the magazine out in front of him, and Thatch leans over curiously. The pages easily fall open to the column, remembering the page Sanji poured over countless times. Sanji hears Thatch's breath hitch.

"This you?" Sanji asks, looking at the faded photo of the smiling boy, before his eyes flick to Thatch.

The older man's eyes are wide, glued to the page. Sanji wordlessly offers him the magazine, and Thatch slowly takes it, his hands handling the paper carefully as though worried it'll crack.

"Yeah, that's me alright," Thatch murmurs, eyes scanning the column before his lips twist into a wry smile. "How the hell did you get your hands on this fossil?"

"Found it while we were looking for stuff for the Baratie's collection, some old second hand shop," Sanji says, and it's not a lie, but it's not like he can admit he was obsessed with them and actually hunted for them after obtaining the first ones.

Thatch makes a low sound of understanding, before he starts flipping through the rest of the magazine, pages that Sanji honestly doesn't even remember. "I wonder if this magazine's still even going..."

"It is," Sanji informs him. "It's changed a lot, but we still get it delivered."

Thatch laughs then, shaking his head as he closes the magazine and hands it back to Sanji with the same care. "I'm sure it has changed, after what happened, oh man..."

Sanji frowns. So something did happen.

"So how did the kid in this end up a Whitebeard pirate?" he asks, but he means, How did the boy's adventure end?

"Mm, you sure you wanna know? It's not a particularly nice story, though I suppose it has a happy end." Thatch leans back heavily against the mast, his hand subconsciously reaching up to brush hair away from his face, lingering on the deep, if old scar around his left eye. Sanji wonders if it's related.

"If it's something you don't mind sharing. I'm sure I can handle it."

They're interrupted by a crash, and look up to see Sabo heaving Luffy up back over the rail by the end of her tail. She'd clearly almost fallen overboard, again, but is laughing as carefree as ever, even as Usopp wrings his hands apologetically behind them. Sabo doesn't look mad though, and is stroking Luffy's hair now that she's safely back on deck and in his arms, his face disgustingly besotted.

Deuce and Nami come out of the cabin at the noise, and Ace and Zoro startle awake from their respective naps as well. Deuce takes one look at what's going on, and launches into a full blown scolding session for all three of the members involved, clearly dissatisfied with the way Sabo handled it. It had only taken the first mate a few days in his company before Deuce had determined that no matter how sensible Sabo may seem at times, he's still Another Stupid Brother, and therefore gets the same treatment.

The rest of the crew listening in winces when Deuce hurls a, "Luffy being stupid is one thing, but you're WAY too lenient with her, you foolish Revolutionary!" Nami and Koala cheer him on in the background.

("Told you," Ace mouths, before hastily looking away when Deuce's gaze snaps to him.)

Usopp looks thoroughly chastised and sincerely sorry, Sabo looks weirdly pleased as though being told he's lenient is a compliment, and Luffy looks bored and is searching for an escape when her gaze lands on the two cooks.

"Thatch! Story time?!" is all the warning they get, before Luffy's arms grab onto the mast behind them and the mermaid torpedoes head-first into Thatch's chest. It's a testament to the Whitebeard Commander's sturdiness that all he does is grunt at the considerable impact, even as Sanji winces in sympathy. That'll definitely bruise.

"Alright, yeah story time, if anyone wants to hear my boring old past," Thatch agrees, and Luffy cheers, turning herself sideways and flopping down on Thatch's crossed legs to look up at him with eyes sparkling with expectation. Sanji isn't even jealous, because in her new position, Luffy's thrown her tail across Sanji's lap, and he begins reverently rubbing circles into her soft scales, heat creeping up his cheeks when her flukes flick with pleasure.

Deuce sighs, giving up on his scolding as everyone gathers around the cooks. But he doesn't seem too disappointed, and pulls out his notebook as he joins them, as though he intends on recording whatever Thatch's going to say. Ace plops himself down on Thatch's other side, ruffling Luffy's hair distractedly and hiding his curiosity poorly. Sanji gets the feeling that despite knowing him for much longer, Ace hasn't heard much about Thatch's past either.

"Well, so..."

~~

Thatch was born to a middle class family in a relatively active port town on the Grand Line. His parents ran a modest diner, certainly nothing high class, but popular enough among the locals to almost always have full seats.

Thatch was what they called a "child prodigy." He'd started helping in the kitchen simply because he wanted to do the same things as his parents, but by the time he was seven, he'd already surpassed both of them in skill. His parents decided to leave the kitchen to him, while they focussed on management.

With Thatch behind the menu, the restaurant's popularity grew, drawing more traffic. Among their visitors were occasional food critics, who spread their business's reputation and made it something of a cult tourist spot.

When Thatch was nine, his father came up with the idea that it might be good publicity, for people to know that a literal child was behind their now famous restaurant's food. And in the name of said publicity, he also decided to have the restaurant officially under Thatch's name, although is parents still managed it.

"Child prodigy chef owns his own restaurant," was definitely a headline that journalists latched onto. The berries were rolling in.

Thatch himself, he didn't really care about that. He rarely ever left the kitchen now, constantly cooking, constantly coming up with new menu items, constantly training new chefs as their once small family diner expanded into a chain. He didn't really mind it, he loved cooking after all, but he often wished he still had time to talk to patrons, or explore town. While there weren't any child labor laws in their country, he couldn't go to school or make friends or do anything a normal child might otherwise enjoy.

So when the largest, most prominent cooking magazine sent a representative to talk about a potential column centered around him, Thatch was hopeful. He'd always dreamed of leaving the island, and it'd never seemed like an achievable dream. He wanted to exposure to new things to expand his cooking repertoire, and he wanted to be able to challenge himself as a cook--but more than anything, he also just wanted go and see what might be out there, outside of his diner's kitchen.

His parents reluctantly agreed. At this point, Thatch had trained enough experienced cooks, and their reputation was established enough that Thatch's temporary absence wouldn't damage them. And Thatch knew his parents were drawn by the potential for greater publicity from the column, and Thatch (and their restaurant) possibly becoming a household name not just on the Grand Line, but across the world.

(Thatch never thought his parents were bad people, or even bad parents. He hadn't wanted for anything, and they let him pursue and nurture his passion. That they were business-minded, and had also come to see Thatch as an asset and publicity tool was something he understood. They still loved him, in their own way.)

His parents' only condition was that Thatch return in a few years, before he was fifteen. A "child prodigy" becomes less interesting with age, and eventually becomes "a normal adult." They wanted Thatch back before that, to reestablish his connection to their diner, before he inevitably faded out of public interest, or had to re-establish his identity as an adult cook.

And so at eleven years old, what seemed like the entire town saw off Thatch, who set sail on a small ship manned by experienced sailors, and chaperoned by the journalist who would be documenting his voyage.

For the first two years, the journey was everything Thatch had ever wanted. They would go to new islands, information provided to him by the journalist, and then he would be given free reign to do whatever he wanted, so long as it included food and cooking, which is what Thatch would have been drawn to do anyway. That there were always a handful of adults a few paces behind him, documenting everything he did and forcing him to voice his thoughts out loud, all eventually faded into the background. Thatch got used to voicing his inner thoughts for their benefit. It was hardly a chore, and Thatch was having the time of his life.

But all things eventually change. Due to the success of the column, Thatch's journalist was given a promotion, and the last stretch of his journey before Thatch was to return to his home island was assigned to a new journalist. Thatch had always known that their relationship was strictly professional, and was used to changing traveling companions at this point. It felt a bit lonely that the first journalist, the only person who had remained a constant, was leaving...but he understood.

It's just business, after all.

The new journalist replaced the old one, and their journey continued--or at least, it was supposed to.

Child!Thatch, adult Thatch would later think, was remarkably naive and sheltered for all that he was a veteran cook. He was used to having things being laid out in front of him on a neat platter, for the adults in his life to control all aspects of his life, conveniently convincing himself that it's what he wanted anyway. He was used to the adults taking care of all the details, because all Thatch had to do to make everyone happy was cook. He not once doubted those responsible for his life, and blindly trusted that they would keep everything smooth and safe for him.

Because when one day, thirteen-year old Thatch woke up to see red staining the walls of the cabin, and then looked around to find the corpses of everyone else on the ship strewn around him, it took a remarkably long time for him to process that this definitely wasn't what was supposed to happen.

He was disoriented, too numb to even feel panic or put up a fight when the new journalist came in and tied him up to pass him to the pirates who had decimated the crew.

Pirates. It wasn't the Golden Age of Piracy yet, and although the Roger Pirates and other famous names were often whispered about, most sailors didn't expect to personally run into pirates. Thatch had been warned of their existence, but hadn't really thought much on them, as they had seemed irrelevant to his own peaceful civilian adventures.

The pirates and the journalist had a deal, he gathered. The pirates had wanted to get their hands on the famous child prodigy cook, and were willing to pay good money. The journalist had agreed, and had summoned the pirates to their location. Everyone but Thatch and the journalist had been killed to erase witnesses.

Before handing Thatch off to them, the journalist demanded payment first. Thatch remembers wondering why the journalist hadn't demanded anything before agreeing to the deal--it seemed a bad business tactic.

Thatch was standing right next to the journalist when the pirate captain drew his sword. Thatch wasn't scared, because he knew he wouldn't be hurt. He was an asset. And he probably knew what would happen before the journalist did.

He still remembers feeling the whoosh of air as the sword came, the sound of it hitting flesh, the dull thunk, the loosening of the arms gripping the rope that held Thatch bound.

Thatch thought ah, so human heads can be severed just as easily as fish heads.

Thatch didn't put up a fuss, going with the pirates. It was clear he couldn't have stayed on the ransacked ship, because even if he did, he had no way of manning the ship alone, even if he even knew how. And so he wordlessly followed, and continued to do what he'd done his whole life: obey adults.

And at first it wasn't bad. A kitchen was a kitchen, no matter how dirty, and Thatch knew how to please people with food. The pirates seemed overjoyed with Thatch's skill.

But some part of Thatch really wondered if that's all they wanted from him, and that bad feeling manifested itself as reality soon.

Hey brat, the captain said one day, and dumped a sack of ingredients Thatch had never used before into the kitchen. Turn this into something good. We need to get rid of an entire rival crew, and they're gluttons.

Thatch may never have used them before, but he recognized the things in the bag. They were all things he knew to avoid.

The pirate captain was asking him to make poison.

Thatch was a cook. No matter the reasons why people wanted him to cook, no matter who benefited and what money was passed around, and no matter how terrible the conditions--Thatch was alright so long as he could cook. Thatch cooked so that he could make delicious things that would in the end, contribute to nourishing people. He polished his skills to make that experience better, to make his patrons happier, to make himself feel more accomplished as a result.

Poison...that wasn't something that a cook could make.

Thatch, for the first time, spoke back to an adult. He felt that numb feeling again, over any fear.

I'm a cook, I can't make anything that can harm people. Please let me start preparing dinner. Thatch stated it as fact, and to him, it was.

The pirate struck Thatch. It was the first time he'd ever been hit, because as a child prodigy, as an asset, he'd always been too valuable to damage. But now...

You'll make it, or we have no need for you.

Bars were added to the kitchen, making it Thatch's cell. All edible ingredients were confiscated. And every day, the pirates came in with more ingredients, more demands.

Make an aphrodisiac. Make a date rape drug. Make something that'll make someone lose feeling in their limbs. Make something that'll cause loss of senses. Make something that'll cause crazy hallucinations. Make something deadly, but undetectable in water. Make something that can dissolve guts from the inside out. Make something that won't kill, but cause excruciating pain. Make something that WILL kill, but only after several days.

The pirates didn't want a cook. They wanted a master poisons brewer. Which, Thatch was not.

Every time Thatch refused, they beat him. They threatened to cut off his legs, because why would he need them, when all he needed were his hands? They threatened to carve out his eyes, and the captain stabbed a knife close to his left eye to show how serious he was. They left Thatch with running water, but didn't give him anything to eat, other than the deadly, horrible ingredients they'd left inside the kitchen for him to turn into even worse poisons.

Thatch sorted the ingredients by those least harmful, and kept himself alive by reluctantly eating those first, but knew that the longer this continued, the more permanent and fatal the damage those ingredients would cause.

(He tried to come up with ways to use what he had to nullify effects, but he was just a kid, and it was his first time trying to make actual medicine. His experiments were risky, and often failed.)

Thatch didn't know how long he was in there, his sense of time and self muddled as he survived off of numbing agents and aphrodisiacs and hallucinogens. They barely kept him alive, and made him feel horrible. He tried to remember why it was so important he kept eating them, and rationing them like they were valuable.

In the corner of the kitchen was an ever growing pile of bright, beautiful fruits that he knew would cause immediate agonizing death...but they looked so lusciously juicy and ripe, and it was getting harder to remember why he couldn't eat them.

Perhaps it was the hallucinogens, perhaps it was everything wrong with his body that Thatch had unwillingly caused himself by eating, but one day, Thatch realized he was going through the movements of peeling those fruits, chopping them, squeezing the juices and watching with fascination as they sizzled into the bubbling pot he was brewing. He was too entranced by the concoction to even notice that his hands were burning and blistering, or perhaps they were just too numb.

He added spices, adjusted heat, and hummed. It had been too long, since he had cooked.

Except he wasn't cooking, because this wasn't food.

It smelled quite delicious, Thatch thought, mildly impressed with himself. Something tropical and fruity, mellowed by mushrooms and a great many other herbs. And it looked aesthetically pleasing, with its dancing, hypnotic colors. If he hadn't known what had gone into it, he'd consider it presentable to critics as his next seasonal special.

But now that it was done, and ready to be served, Thatch had no clue what to do with it.

He hadn't thought that far (he wasn't thinking at all), and didn't know how to think about the thing he made, when it wasn't edible.

He supposed he could possibly see if it could melt through the bars of his cell, though he wasn't sure where he'd even go if he could escape. The cell didn't have any windows, and Thatch wasn't even sure they were at an island, they could still be on open water. Thatch might be able to throw it on a pirate, as a weapon. But there were dozens of pirates on board, and not nearly enough for all of them.

He could drink it himself. It would be an escape of sorts, he supposed.

It never crossed Thatch's mind to offer the concoction to the pirates, as a creation to be used.

He stood in the kitchen for hours, aimlessly stirring the pot, watching the brew get darker and darker, its magical colors turning into murky brown. Eventually, it became a thick, black tar-like substance that reflected no light, that looked like a void as Thatch stared into it.

A thin gray haze gradually began filling the room, and Thatch was well aware of it. He was already starting to feel noticeably worse than before. He supposed that was one way of giving himself a time limit: he'd either decide what to do with the brew, or succumb to the fumes first.

He distantly heard muted sounds overhead, and he realized the pirates may be fighting someone. It happened once in a while. But it was usually with other pirates, and he doubted it was the marines, and no civilian vessel would dare get close to such an obvious pirate ship. And well, if it was pirates...that's just more of the same, wasn't it?

Thatch eventually heard footsteps approaching the room, and someone coughing as they inhaled the fumes, now dense enough to be a dark smog that made it hard to see his own hands (or maybe that was the effect of the poison in him).

A creak--the cell doors were opening.

Thatch could barely think anymore, but made a split second decision. He didn't know what the consequences would be, but had a hunch he wouldn't survive long enough to find out anyway, so what did it matter.

He picked up the pot, and hurled all of its contents at the approaching figure.

There was a FUCK! and then--

Thatch won't ever forget what happened when that brew hit a human body.

But as he fell, the last of his strength gone, wondering if he should feel horrible or proud that he killed someone on his way out, Thatch saw the room light up, the black haze vanishing into searing, brilliant turquoise flames.

~~

"And so that's how I met Marco!" Thatch says, voice surprisingly chipper, even though Sanji feels like retching.

"You melted him," Ace says flatly, voice a mix of horror and awe.

"Sure did, if he had been anyone else they probably woulda been a puddle of human goo, and even he got halfway there," Thatch agrees, his hands stroking Luffy's hair harder, as they'd been doing all throughout his story telling. "Though lucky me, to have thrown poison at possibly one of the only people in the world with instant self-regeneration and possibly immortality."

"Was he mad? Pineapple bird-man. Melting doesn't sound very fun," Luffy frowns. She'd admittedly fallen asleep for most of the story, but woke up again when Thatch's hands in her hair got more tense, more urgent. She contentedly nuzzles into his thigh, more interested in making sure that Thatch's alright than in his answer, and she purrs when he crooks his fingers to scritch her reassuringly.

"Oh sure, he was mad for a little bit, but he's a nice guy and was a worry-wort even back then, so he brought me to Pops. And well, it took a while, but we're best buddies now and have been for years! Fancy that."

Deuce was shaking his head. "I still can't believe that stupid crew wanted to take down Pops with poison of all things, and were stupid enough to enter his territory without it even being ready."

"Well, it's not like they could have won in direct combat, and to be fair, back then the Four Emperors weren't that established, and territories in the New World were a lot looser than they are now." Thatch shrugged. "If nothing else, it was a creative angle, if a poorly thought out one, unlike some people's way of challenging Pops." Ace fidgets uncomfortably here, and Deuce snorts.

"You..." Sanji's finally recovering from his queasiness, because fuck Thatch's tale really wasn't pretty, especially from a cook's perspective. "You don't mind fighting, and killing people now?" He glances at the swords strapped to Thatch's belt, and thinks about his own insistence to never use his hands in combat.

"Well, I'd prefer not to do it, same as anyone else. But I don't mind fighting in general, and once Pops adopted me, I wanted to be able to defend myself." Thatch laughs here, and it sounds bitter, making Luffy look up. "Haruta actually suggested I use poison, if I knew how to make one that could almost take down the Phoenix, and, well...that's a no. May have thrown him overboard for that, but he deserved it. I told them I was good with knives, and Vista helped me develop my own style."

The conversation moves on then, the other crew members chipping in with questions, but Sanji sort of tunes it all out. He thought he was over his queasiness, but it's back again. Being forced to brew poison, and being offered nothing but harmful things to eat...fuck. Even Judge hadn't done that...

He feels something wrap around him then, and Sanji looks down, and realizes that Luffy's looped her tail so that her flukes curl behind his back, securely holding him, even as she continues to nuzzle Thatch's leg for attention.

How weak he must be, Sanji thinks, to need his captain's comfort now. But it helps, and he gradually relaxes.

Eventually the others realize that the story's over, and disperse back to their usual tasks, leaving Thatch and Sanji and a snoozing Luffy curled around both of their laps.

"Well, I guess that explains how the boy prodigy's journey ended," Sanji says, reaching over to Thatch's side to run his hand through Luffy's hair, smiling when she hums happily.

Thatch makes a soft sound, that sounds like possibly disagreement. "Well, sure, I ended up joining the Whitebeard pirates, and never ended up going back to my hometown. Everyone thought I was dead anyway, and being on the Moby was better than any restaurant for me, because I got to feed my brothers and travel, at least wherever the Moby goes, and that's still a fine adventure in its own way. But I guess you're right in that with a territory and a literal army backing me up...it's not quite the same kind of adventure, without the trill of the unknown."

Thatch looks up then, and when his eyes sweep across their little ship, and the small crew strewn about it, he looks fond. "But I guess in a way, that's what I'm doing now, isn't it? I may no longer be a 'boy prodigy,' but me traveling with you guys, going back up the Grand Line...it's sorta like that journey again."

Sanji blinks.

"The end of that journey...maybe you're on it with me, right now." Thatch winks.

Sanji snorts. "That's so cheesy," he says, but he doesn't meant it, not really, because he can't deny the giddiness that begins welling up in him at the thought.

Because what adult doesn't still have a child inside them, buried underneath layers of years, still craving those wishful dreams from long ago?

There's a moment of silence, before both cooks break out into laughter, carefree and boyish.

And so their journey continues onward.

~~

~~

Aaand that's a wrap! For this lil story series within this ever growing AU at least!

It may be a cheesy ending, but it still feels like an ending of sorts? which, is something I usually never actually manage to write to, everything I write is usually either short or abandoned....so I Feel Accomplished ^ ^;;

If you managed to get through it all, thanks so much for reading and sticking with this!!!! ;A; I’m definitely extremely curious to know if you have any thoughts regarding my take on Thatch's past, or anything else, because as always any comments are HUGELY appreciated!

Thanks again!

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

[getreadytosmash]

1. how long have you known you’re asexual? || 2. what ace-spec microlabels, if any, do you identify as? || 4. are you out as asexual irl? || 6. are you transgender or on the nonbinary spectrum? || 7. what’s your favorite asexual stereotype? || 9. cake or garlic bread? || 10. what made you realize that you were asexual? || 11. what’s your favorite part about being asexual? || 12. what’s your least favorite part about being asexual? || 18. what fictional characters do you headcanon as asexual?

@blind-mutant

ONE

Pretty early on luckily! I KNEW from age 10 that I just...find want sex, didn't want to have kids in anyway, but it wasn't until I was around 12-13 that I found a deviantart post about sexualities and different kinds of flags that it Clicked. This wasn't just me being any sort of late bloomer, this was a whole thing that other people felt too. The aromantism took a little longer to accept due to teenage angst but I'm glad I found the label I needed when I did.

TWO

I'd probably say...Grey ace?? Like, I DO get short crushes admittedly and I occasionally experience stuff, but I don't ever really wanna indulge in it or go on a date. I like simply being able to enjoy certain feelings rather then acting out on them and running a possible friendship. Also crushes are WHACK how the fuck do people deal with normal attraction so much, I felt like a Victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time and we had been friends for years.

FOUR

Kinda...?? Admittedly its...hard to be out as ace? Not a lot of people know what it even is and when you try to tell them about it, it turns into disgust as you talk about not wanting to have sex or jokes about being a virgin forever. Usually I say I'm "not looking for anyone" and I'm more open about it online. If more people knew about aspec stuff and didn't make weird jokes about "waiting for the one" or staying innocent forever, I definitely would be more open about it.

SIX

Mm,,,not,,,really? At MOST I'd say a demigirl because I'm not THAT inclined about my gender or percievemnt. I'm fine with they/he being used with me and I usually present myself with "masculine" styles of dress every day. My body is a temple and boy is it run down and filled with rats.

SEVEN

Space. I've never really seen the associated things other sexualties have but I KNOW for a fact that aces have the best and coolest stuff. Space? Dragons? Cake? Garlic bread? Cards? Love that shit so much, I'd be ace just for the associations in another universe lmao.

NINE

Garlic breeeaaad! I WILL eat an entire loaf of it, don't test me. Snsnsn I mean I LIKE chocolate cake but finding an entirely JUST chocolate cake is hard to do, especially when I only like chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream. I'm a picky eater and it infuriates me and everyone who knows me.

TEN

Well, like I said in four, sitting in the sexual education program at school (which, was Not Good btw) and just seeing all that...Stuff, made me release that I just...wasn't into it??? Like, not at all. I just found the whole thing to feel...rather gross, and it was a thing I quickly realised not everyone else felt the same way about.

ELEVEN

Just...the community tbh. Its knowing that someone feels the same way as you do to a degree or knowing that the flash of purple in their flag means the same as it does for you and the fact that it's so varied is nice. No aspec person is the EXACT same - in spectrum or reasoning - and I find that so refreshing in how so many people can still have such a good community.

TWELVE

The jokes. I'm just,,,so sick of people being all Haha Always Gonna Stay Pure! Because??? What does that mean??? If I murder a dozen kids but refrain from having sex I'm still pure?? They're not as funny as you think they are. Also the general gatekeeping of "aces not being queer" as if being queer is something we can inherently dictate and manage, but u know.

EIGHTEEN

Skaar! Also Clint Barton, I HC Natasha and Tony as aro and aroace, I also see Toph from ATLA as ace aaand Steven from su! I probably have others but they're the top of my head rn

[beneaththetangles]

Grace for the Lying Traitor

Originally, this should have been done by the end of the first season back in 2019, but the combination of a lack of writing motivation and the manga providing even more supplementary material for this article than expected (and many more potential ones in the future, really) has led to this being finished in time for season two finally premiering, which is the perfect time to bring this out of the woodwork. Spoiler warnings will also be given when referencing future events from the manga.

-----

At the start of The Promised Neverland, Ray appears to be just a quiet, if somewhat cynical, boy who’d rather read alone than play with the other kids. After being “filled in” on the secret of Grace Field House by Emma and Norman as well as their escape plan, the reveal that he not only had been secretly a spy to Mom, Isabella, and was lowkey sabotaging their plan had been, to say the least, a great shock to both Norman and the audience. Rather than just keeping quiet and cutting him off when he wasn’t useful anymore like he would have done, Norman decides to keep him in with the plan. What would have led him to handle Ray in such a way?

Many past articles on this website have discussed in detail the importance of grace for those in the position of giving it. Of course, the receiver, too, and even primary, is impacted. To consider how Ray was affected, it’s important to note three particulars about him from the first arc:

How he learned the secret of Grace Field House

His identity as a spy for Isabella and why he chose to be one

What he planned to do in order to let Emma and Norman escape the House

Redemption by leilf (w/ permission)

As it was shown in later chapters and in The First Shot side story, Ray’s lack of infantile amnesia, while undoubtedly helpful, brought him much stress at a young age. Given what he eventually figured out about the House and his actual blood relation to Isabella as her son, he developed a semblance of learned helplessness and guilt from being unable to save the other children being “adopted” out of the House to be eaten by demons.

With that said, however, while he eventually thought it impossible to save all the children in the house, he was still driven enough to try to save his two closest friends from that same fate. In order for him to accomplish both of those goals, his plan involved selling himself out to Isabella and acting as her spy for the sake of discreetly gathering information and equipment (Isabella later calls him “a liar and a traitor” for his actions). In doing so, however, he also indirectly used the other children in ways that either possibly risked them getting killed earlier than planned (with his experiments on the tracking devices in their ears) or caused a massive betrayal of trust and hurt once revealed (as in the case with Norman and Don), which may have increased his guilt even further. Add all of that with his general spite towards the adults and the demons, and we almost get to see the ultimate culmination of his six-year-long plan: a breakout caused by setting himself and the House on fire.

Emma, however, had something else planned for him.

Emma’s caring personality is often criticized by some both inside and out of the story as being too naïve or unrealistic for the situation the kids are currently in. Due to his own hope and optimism dying off over the past few years, her desire to bring everyone along in the escape had been thought of by Ray as a fantasy and a roadblock for his plan, especially with Norman supporting her. However, it’s also this same love and care that allows her to extend grace to him which, ultimately, saves him by the end of the first arc.

The first instance of Emma’s grace saving Ray happens just before Norman confronts him about being the traitor. In that instance, Norman takes Emma aside and asks her, hypothetically, what she would do if there really was a child among them that sold them out to the demons. Her answer, while expected, holds a surprising amount of depth in her reasoning. Even in the face of betrayal, she still cares enough to want to look after the safety and well-being of even those who’ve hurt her. And not only that, Emma’s willing to bank her trust on the spy’s goodness precisely on the fact that, in spite of everything, they’d still be a child who she’s known and lived together with for years. This is enough to soften Norman’s stance on dealing with Ray and give him another chance, instead of just planning to use him until it became inconvenient.

Even after Ray told her himself that he was the spy, Emma was still forgiving enough to understand how much he had been struggling behind the scenes. That being said, just because she was willing to give Ray a second chance, it doesn’t mean that she’s blind to the possibility that he might do something behind her back again (and he certainly wasn’t sincere either when he told her he changed his mind then). So she leaves him with a warning near the end of their conversation:

Despite mercy being shown him after outing himself as the spy, Ray still continues with his own plans up until the night before his 12th birthday. Fortunately for him, Emma and Norman’s steadfastness with their plan still gives him another chance that saved him from a fate he cursed himself to later on.

Emma’s graciousness shows up once again as she foils Ray’s suicide attempt. Having been made aware of the plan beforehand by a letter from Norman after he was shipped out, she and the other children who learned the House’s secret quietly worked behind the scenes to prepare for their actual escape plan. From the moment when she caught the lit match to when they crossed over the chasm to the forest, Emma and the other kids were more than willing to bring Ray along, taking measures such as making a dummy to put in the fire in his place to fool Isabella. Another point worth mentioning is that some of the kids also sacrificed some thing or part of themselves in order to ensure the escape wouldn’t fail: Norman with his chance to escape Grace Field a few months back, Anna as she cuts her long hair for the dummy, and Emma with her left ear as the tracker inside it serving as another distraction tactic for Isabella. It’s due to this that he was able to witness a radical experience (“I’ll show you something cool, so shut up and come.”) which then led to a radical transformation.

The success of the escape from Grace Field almost immediately hearkens a change within Ray. When the kids finally get a moment of rest in the forest, he has a private conversation with Emma, repentant over how he felt and acted before with the others, now knowing how much they are willing to do for him. He finishes his thoughts with a promise to Emma:

“Emma, I’ll live. I’ll live and protect this family. Everyone in this family, just like you. This time, for sure I vow. No matter what happens, I’ll never abandon them again. So you don’t have to bear the burden all on your own. We’ll create it together…a world where we can live as a family. All of us.”

[Manga Spoilers for the Next 4 Paragraphs Ahead]

While Ray may fall back on old cynical habits in stressful situations later in the story, they often end up being short-lived, especially as he puts more of his trust in Emma and her decisions. Even at times when he may not understand them, he’s now more open to and supportive of possibilities he would have once brushed off that actually work, as was shown in his and Emma’s trip to the Seven Walls. His outlook in life is much more hopeful now, and he becomes more openly caring to the people around him in his own way. Through living beyond when he thought he would die, Ray opens himself up to more opportunities where his own strengths were able to contribute in saving all the cattle children in the long run.

It should also be noted that Emma’s grace doesn’t just start and end with Ray. Isabella also becomes one of many other links in this chain, especially since her own radical experience (watching the children successfully escape the farm) gave her renewed hope that the entire system can be destroyed, which drove her to help with it through her promotion as the new Grandma. After Emma’s group successfully took over Grace Field from Peter Ratri, Emma offers Isabella and the other women the opportunity to come with them to the human world as she has already included them in her promise deal with The One. The women, wracked by their own guilt and shame, choose to stay behind. Ray, however, had some words to say to that:

“Get over it already. You were sick of this, right? If you have regrets, take care of them in the human world. I’m glad I’m alive. It’s because I’m alive that I can atone for my sins and clear my conscience. It’s fine. No one will resent anyone. We’re not holding grudges. So let’s go. All of you, with us.”

Ray, who until then had such complicated feelings for his mother to the point of calling her a monster, decides to let go of all that and extend forgiveness to offer her the chance to make things right. This action, as well as with how the younger children were so willing to plead with the other women to come by hugging them, shakes Isabella down to her core. With her burden finally lifted off her shoulders, she accepts the offer, and was even willing to lay her life down for the children when a rogue demon employee tried to kill them in a rampage. Other different case examples can be made with Norman in the midst of him seemingly succeeding with his demon genocide plan, and Peter Ratri as he tries to maintain the status quo of the previous promise. However, the latter deals more on when the recipient decides to coldly reject the offer of grace, as he, in true Javert-esque fashion, would rather off himself on the spot than accept the chance to come with Emma to help the rest of the cattle children in the human world.

[Spoilers End Here]

As it is shown from the story itself, in the midst of the cruel and terrifying world that she’s stuck in, the love and compassion Emma shows even to her enemies or those who betray her is something that has the potential to transform into something impossible and incredible by the ending. An act of grace, however small or seemingly useless as it may seem at the time, can form small ripples which can change the course of at least one person’s life for the better. And as those waves reach more and more people, this can bring about a great change and giant waves in the end. This is as much true within the story of TPN as it is in real life, and it is through this we would be able to show the saving love that God has shown to us to those who also need it the most.

=====

The Promised Neverland anime is streaming on Funimation & Hulu in the US, and AnimeLab in Australia. The manga is available through Viz.

[witchkings]

The One Engagement Ring

An Angbang Modern AU drabble as prompted by the lovely @darklord <3

Three seconds. Barely any time at all. Negligible in the greater scheme of Mairon’s life, nothing to the ever-advancing flow of the universe, miniscule, dismissible, stupid. Three seconds was all it had taken to ruin Mairon’s picture book life. Melkor would kill him.

These were the facts as Mairon had them:

1.       He’d slipped into the bathroom at the university library for a short piss and to get a minute of quiet in the constant chatter of his study group which was spiralling head-first into a discussion about the meaning of life. Even though they were anthropology graduate students with at least half the group minoring in either philosophy or sociology, this was never a good idea.

2.       When he’d been in the stall, his engagement ring had still gleamed golden on his ring finger, a constant, warm reminder of the grand day to come. Mairon had planned an autumn wedding, complete with matching tuxes, a seven-course feast and was already training Draugluin to carry the wedding rings down the aisle with Thuringwethil as his reluctant guardian. Melkor, of course, would have preferred for them to pop into Vegas and have some drunken fat Elvis proclaim them married, or better yet, simply hand in the necessary paper work on his way to the office, but Mairon was having none of that. If for one day in his life he wanted to feel special, be marvelled at and fawned over, it was going to be this day, his accursed father be damned.

3.       After completing his business, he’d slipped the ring off and into his pocket to wash his hands. He wouldn’t chance it being dulled by hard water or rough soap. Mairon always did it like this, only putting the piece of jewellery back on whenever his hands were dry and spotless, but when he’d made to retrieve it, his pocket had been empty.

4.       There’d been two other people on the bathroom with him and he couldn’t remember whether they’d ever come near him at all, but their childish faces, curly heads, and mischievous giggles could only mean one thing: freshmen.

5.       For three seconds between drying his hands and reaching for the ring, Mairon had leaned over the sink and inspected his own face. The stress of upcoming exams together with his thesis‘ due date drawing ever nearer gave him red spots along his jawline and he’d glared at them to will them away before Melkor picked him up.

Conclusion: As Mairon had been caught up in his own flaws, one or both of those bastards had sidled up to him and stolen the ring out of his pocket without him noticing. This implied many things, for example that the fatigue was getting to Mairon’s mental capacities or that those freshmen were unusually sneaky. Chiefest of all was this though: Melkor had paid half a fortune for that golden band. For Mairon to lose it, well. It would spell disaster.

Mairon glared at himself in the dirt-speckled mirror, bracing himself on the sink. Three seconds, oh he would show those impertinent, stupid, drunkard gnomes what he could do to a person in three seconds. Mairon took a deep breath and marched out of the bathroom, back to the round table his study group occupied. Eönwe and Tilion were at each other’s necks with arguments dissecting Descartes’ meditations while Osse and Uinen had their tongues down each other’s throats with disgusting slobbering noises. No studying to be done here, one of the sodden constants of Mairon’s life. He grabbed his notes and tablet and shoved them into his bagpack with more force than necessary which had Curumo look up from where he had hovered over his mess of tiny handwritten notes. He looked a little like a deer in head-lights, always lost was poor Curumo. Mairon rolled his eyes and tugged at his classmate’s sleeve.

“What?” Curumo whined, reluctant to forgo the last stretch of productivity he illusioned himself with, but he was already packing up.

“Come with me,” Mairon replied. “We’re going to hunt down some freshmen.”

After a quick text to Melkor to explain he needn’t be picked up today, Mairon dragged Curumo out of the library. The dismayed reply came seconds later, and Melkor wasn’t at all happy with the excuse of needing to tutor Curumo on their upcoming French test. Melkor and Curumo had never gotten along and if Mairon was honest with himself, he would have ditched Curumo after the first week of the first semester, but sometimes the guy proved useful. Especially because, in spite of his timid disposition, he somehow knew everyone on campus, ranging from the most introverted freshman all the way to the creepy maintenance guy who smelled like he lived in the sewers.

“What for?” Curumo asked. They crossed the student-littered yard, dodging peer-pong balls and caffeine-crazed grad students to the cafeteria where Mairon figured his best bet would be. Freshmen were always hungry, and he had a vague memory of four curly-haired heads positively camping in there at all times, claiming they needed seven meals a day to function.

“They stole something from me,” Mairon muttered, raking his hands through his hair. He’d neglected to trim it to its usual chest length and it was getting quite out of hand, tangling at the lightest breeze. Still better than what Curumo’s mother had done to him over the last holiday, short and ragged so that he looked like Jack Frost.

“What did they steal?”

“My engagement ring.”

“What?” Curumo spluttered, and almost ran into the door, but Mairon held it open in time. Under the pretence of having lunch – Mairon never had university lunch if he could help it, the stuff was vile and Melkor was a great cook if he wanted to be – they both got into line, eyes darting about for the thieves.

Mairon spotted the usual groups as he scanned the perimeter. The musical theatre kids led by a haughty grad student with a harp who had a gazillion brothers around. The nature-loving hippies who smoked too much weed for their own good and gave themselves funny names and pretended to be trees on weekends. The burly punk rockers who rode Harleys and had a kink for arson, Mairon had met their gang head Gothmog in a colloquium once, he wasn’t too bad. Even the naval engineering students who usually spent all their free time down by the beaches to test their self-crafted boats where in attendance, picking at salads and discussing hydraulics. Not a sign of those nasty burglars though.  

The guy behind the counter handed him a tray, and Mairon took it, paying with his student ID chip card before turning back towards the room, just in time to see a pair of dark, curly heads disappear through the swinging doors of the cafeteria, chips trailing after them like crumbs. Mairon dropped his food and took off after them, spitting curses. Curumo, the good dog that he was, mirrored this. They tore out of the cafeteria and down the hallway together.

“Hey,” Mairon screamed. “Hey, stop!” The two freshmen threw hasty glances over their shoulders, hollering as they ran and dodged around students, but Mairon and Curumo were faster, knew these halls better and soon enough, they had the two cornered against a row of blue lockers.

“Now,” Mairon crooned and made to advance on them, but before he could, someone interrupted him. “Now you will repent.”

“Hey, what do you want with them,” he barked and two people stepped into Mairon’s and Curumo’s way, obscuring the goblins from view. They were both jocks, broad-shouldered and bearded, and towered a head over Curumo and Mairon. He knew the blond one, Eomer, an agriculture major, from a finance class they’d both taken as an elective, but he’d never seen the other man before. He was the one who’d spoken and wore a sports shirt of a team Mairon had never heard of. A white tree was their logo and their motto was written in a strange swirl of letters that looked almost Arabic.

“Just a friendly chat,” Mairon said through gritted teeth. “Not to worry.”

“That didn’t sound so friendly to me,” the guy growled and Eomer put a hand on his shoulder, nodding. His scowl deepened and his eyes burned, staring daggers into Mairon’s.

“Weren’t you that condescending guy at the back of Accounting 101 who called everyone peasants?” he asked and Mairon sighed inwardly. One bad day to haunt him. Or well, a whole semester of bad days, but who was counting anyway? Melkor had been abroad for that time and Mairon had suffered terribly.

“Why do you even care?” Mairon asked, and Curumo put a warning hand to his arm. It wasn’t unlikely that he’d seen these two beat someone up at some frat party before, but Mairon wasn’t intimidated by such mundane things as physical violence.

“Because they’re our friends,” the second jock growled, crossing his arms over his chest. It was hard not to laugh, these fully grown men proclaiming themselves friends of two troublemakers who weren’t even legally adults yet.

“Look, guys,” Curumo said quietly. “Merry and Pippin stole something very valuable from my friend here and he is rather upset about it.”

Eomer bared his teeth, but the other guy whirled around to stare at the two thieves in question who were huddled against the lockers, but silently giggling amongst themselves.

“Is this true?” he asked, and the tone of his voice implied he knew already. Helpless or not, they probably had a reputation for mischief-making.

“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t,” one of them said with a thick accent.

“You said it yourself,” the other added, “he is a condescending ass.”

“Boys.”

“Boromir.”

“Enough,” Mairon hissed and pushed through the two jocks and bore down on the freshmen, holding out his empty palm. “You give me back my ring or I will make your lives here a living nightmare. You can hire as many football players and wannabe wrestlers as you want, I am very good friends with the dean, I have more than enough money to bribe every professor in the state to bully you and my boyfriend will beat every last one of your bodyguards to a pulp. Is that clear?”

Merry and Pippin stared at him, their facial muscles contorting in a series of impossible expressions, torn between laughing and crying. They settled for blankness and, at last, Pippin handed over the ring. It was smudged with grease from his fingers and Mairon pulled out a linen handkerchief to polish it with.

“I’m sorry, they’re still not used to their actions having consequences,” Boromir sighed and Eomer nodded sternly.

“Whatever,” Mairon said with half a shrug and he stalked off the scene, leaving Curumo to deal with the polite formalities or whatever the situation demanded. He had his ring back, he could call Melkor to get him after all, he would get laid tonight while all these losers were busy with their parties and teenager friends and studying until their eyes bled. It was not ten minutes later that Mairon was comfortably tucked into Melkor’s Chevrolet, the heated seat warming his ass-cheeks.

“Have a nice day?” Melkor grumbled, not taking his eyes off the parking lot around them. Mairon leaned over and pressed a kiss to the corner of his beloved’s mouth.

“Nothing special,” he replied and leaned into the backrest. “Nothing special at all.” The ring glinted in the low-afternoon sun and everything was as it should be.

[hookedonapirate]

Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

Summary: Detective Killian Jones took an indefinite leave of absence from SBPD after his brother was murdered in the Line of Duty. Bitter and broken, he resides in a cabin on the beach when his brother's former partner, David Nolan brings him a case he knows the vengeful detective won’t be able to resist. A case involving Liam's killer.  

Dr. Emma Swan makes all of her decisions like she operates on her patients—with care, competence and compassion. But when her colleague, Graham Humbert, is murdered in cold blood by the man who was freed because of a decision she made as a juror, she starts second-guessing herself. To make matters worse, her squeaky clean reputation is being questioned when she becomes a suspect for Graham’s murder.

There is one detective who believes she’s innocent, and he has a plan to protect Emma and find his brother's killer at the same time. When Killian finds himself caught between his duties to the SBPD and his need for vengeance, matters are only complicated by the feelings he develops for the woman he's supposed to protect.

He's impulsive and hot-tempered, and she's methodical and cool under pressure. Despite their differences, can they work together to bring the murderer to justice, or will the murderer get to them first?

A/N: Many thanks go to @ultraluckycatnd​ for her wonderful beta-ing skills and @onceuponaprincessworld​ as always for her encouragement and letting me bounce ideas off of her.

Rated: Explicit due to mature language, character death, violence, murder and smut. The scenes won’t be too graphic, but I’d rather overrate than underrate it.

Catch up: Pro I Ch 1 I Ch 2 I Ch 3

Also available on: AO3 I FF.N

Chapter 4

Killian knocks on the door and lets out a slow, troubled breath as he turns around, sliding his hands into his pockets. He’s rarely here, but it’s time he changes that. And not just for the case, but for Liam. For his sister-in-law. He used to come over to visit Liam, Elsa, and Camila all the time, but Liam’s death caused tension between him and Elsa. He just hates that it took this long; he hates that David had to pull Killian’s head out of the Port Lavaca sand for him to realize this. 

  “Killian?”

  The sound of his sister-in-law’s voice pulls him from his thoughts, and he turns around, offering a faint smile. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” Elsa says, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms as she stands in the doorway. “I wasn't expecting you.” 

  “Nice to see you too, love,” he teases with a smirk. When her solemn expression never changes into something more cheerful, his smile dims. “Is this a bad time?”

  “No, it’s just… usually you call ahead first.”

  Killian scratches behind his ear. “Apologies, love, I just…”

  “Camila’s out shopping with Anna.”

  “Dress shopping?”

  “No, we ordered her dress weeks ago. Anna's just getting her some new clothes. They’ll probably be back in an hour or so.”

  “That’s okay. Actually, I came here to talk to you.”

  Elsa studies him for a moment with a scrupulous eye. “Okay...” She opens the door for him, her features laced with concern. “Is everything alright?” 

  “Aye, everything’s fine,” he replies as he steps inside. She shuts the door behind him as he turns around to face her, expelling a tentative breath. “Actually, no, it’s not,” he murmurs, his eyes meeting hers. “It hasn’t been for a while… and I wanna change that.”

  Elsa knits her brows in confusion. “What do you mean? What’s going on, Killian?”

  He gestures between them. “I’m talking about us, Elsa. You and me. We haven't had the same relationship since Liam passed, and I’m mostly to blame for that.”

  Elsa arches a brow as if to say, are you sure about that?

  Killian chuckles. “Okay, I take all the blame.”

  Elsa folds her arms over her chest, her features softening. “Okay, I’m listening.”

  Killian tilts his head in the direction of the kitchen. “Can we sit? The conversation might be too heavy for standing.”

  “Sure,” she says, heading toward the kitchen. “Would you like anything to drink?”

  “Got any wine?” he asks as he follows behind her. 

  Elsa turns her head toward him, her thin brows climbing her forehead. “Since when did you become a wine drinker?”

  “Not for me, for you. You might need it.”

  “That heavy, huh?”

  “Aye.”

  “Well, I have some white wine, but Camila will be home soon and I don’t drink around her. Iced Tea okay?”

  “Aye. How’s she doing?” he asks as he takes a seat at the breakfast nook.

  Elsa grabs a pitcher of tea from the refrigerator and two glasses from the cupboard, filling them to the brim. “She’s doing fine.” She brings the drinks to the table, hands him one and sits across from him. “She’s growing like a weed.”

  Killian chuckles. “Well, she gets the tall gene from both parents. Liam was six feet tall and you’re what, 5’8?” he guesses before taking a sip of his tea, the glass slick with condensation.

  “5’7,” she corrects, her lips finally cracking into a faint smile. “5’9 in high heels.”

  “Still, she’s already taller than most kids her age.”

  “She is,” Elsa nods in agreement and takes a sip. 

  An awkward silence fills the room, apart from the slow tick of the wall clock, and Killian scratches behind his ear, not sure where to begin. Things are definitely not like they used to be. He used to be able to talk to Elsa like they were… well brother and sister. Sometimes they got along, sometimes they didn’t. But there had never been actual friction between them like there is now. He clears the cobwebs from his throat, breaking the silence. “So, um… I came here to apologize to you.”

  “Why? Because our relationship hasn’t been the same?”

  “Aye,” he nods, “and also because I never formally apologized to you for what happened after Liam… after he died.”

  “Killian, you don’t have to—”

  He puts out his hand dismissively. “I do, Elsa. I screwed up. If I hadn’t gone after Cassidy the way I did, he would’ve been on death row. He’d be long gone by now.”

  Elsa offers a half-smile and takes his hands in hers. “Killian, whatever you could’ve done or should’ve done or didn’t do, it doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t have brought Liam back. So stop blaming yourself for what happened.”

  Killian furrows his brows. “I don’t. Not anymore. But I thought you did.”

  Elsa shakes her head, eyes welling up with tears. “At first I blamed everyone and everything. I blamed Liam for not telling me about Cassidy or about the danger he was in. I blamed myself for not telling him to be careful every single time he left the house—” Her voice cracks as a tear rolls down her cheek. She laughs as she removes her hand from Killian’s to wipe her tears. “Hell. I even blamed the cat.”

  Killian offers a weak smile. “I blamed Snickers, too,” he jokes, making her laugh again. “I always thought he was an evil cat.”

  “But it didn’t matter who we blamed. Liam’s gone, and he’s never coming back. I’ve had to drag myself out of bed every goddamn morning knowing he wouldn’t suddenly walk through the front door telling me he fooled everyone into thinking he was dead. I’ve had to convince myself I wouldn’t wake up one day and find him in the shower and realize the past three years were all a dream.”

  He chuckles. “Nice Dallas reference.” 

  She laughs. “Thanks. Did you ever watch the reboot?”

  He used to watch the reruns of the original Dallas with Liam and Elsa after the reboot came out. They watched it for shits and giggles and because it was based in Texas, but who doesn’t secretly love a trashy sitcom? “No, did you?”

  She shakes her head. “Never did.”

  “So if you didn't blame me for Cassidy getting away, then why did you hate me for the past three years?” Killian asks, getting back to the matter at hand. 

  “I didn't hate you, Killian. I never hated you. It was just...” She pauses with a heavy sigh. “It was just easier to avoid you.” As she speaks, her eyes drift away from him and she looks up the ceiling, trying to fight off more tears. “It was too hard to look at you because every time I did, I saw him. I still do,” she wheezes, a sad smile on her face as her eyes fall back to his. “It brought back too much pain.”

  His heart tightens at the way she looks at him. He’s been told his whole life he and his brother had the same eyes, but he didn’t know how true it was until now. And he guessed he could see the resemblance in pictures or when he looked into the mirror, but he never realized how much their resemblance would affect his sister-in-law. 

  “And it’s bad enough I live with Liam’s female mini-me,” she says, laughter catching in her throat. 

  “I can imagine.” Killian’s lips twitch into a small smile. Camila has brown, curly hair and blue eyes like Liam did. “Here I was under the impression you blamed me all this time. I thought you still held some kind of grudge against me for letting Liam’s killer get away with what he’d done.”

  Elsa shakes her head. “I blamed you for a long time, believe me. Then I realized it's pointless to place blame. I mean, I could blame my sister for leaving the flash on my phone seven years ago, but if she hadn't, then Liam and I probably wouldn’t have met and we wouldn't have gotten married and had Camila. We wouldn't have had an amazing life together, even if his was cut too short.”

  “You're wrong about that, you know? You and Liam still would've met if we didn't catch you snapping his picture.”

  Elsa rolls her eyes and laughs. “I know he said he also noticed me in the restaurant, but you and I both know he would've been too shy to approach me.” 

  “Aye, that's what little brothers are for. They make the perfect wingmen,” Killian chuckles.

  “You mean younger brother?”

  “Aye.” When the laughter dies in his throat, his smile dims as he stares into his glass of tea. “Truth be told, I would give anything to hear him call me little brother again.”

  She smiles. “I know you would.”

  He nods, looking up at her again. “He noticed you as soon as you entered the restaurant and his eyes lit up like the Fourth of July. His expression changed like a light switch. As though he were living in the darkness and suddenly a light turned on. I had never seen him look at anyone like he looked at you. And the second he looked over to catch you taking his picture after we saw that flash from your phone go off, he was a goner.”

  Elsa nods with a laugh. “Yeah, I literally shined the light in his eyes.”

  “You did,” he agrees with a chuckle.

  “And you were next.”

  Killian furrows his brows and points a finger at my chest. “Me?”

  “Yep. I took Liam’s picture for myself, and I was going to take your picture for Anna. Before the flash went off, my plan was to get up, use the ladies’ room and snap your photo when I headed back to my seat. But thanks to Anna using my phone a couple nights before to take a group picture outside a nightclub, the flash was on and I was caught red-handed. And who knows, if that flash never went off, you could be the one marrying my sister on Saturday,” she teases. That was Anna and Elsa’s thing apparently—to take pictures of cute guys and text them to each other. That’s why Elsa was taking a picture of Liam that evening in the restaurant; she just didn’t realize the flash was on until she snapped the photo.

  Killian shakes his head. “That would be too weird. She’s family.”

  “True, but she wasn't back then.” Elsa takes a sip of her tea before setting her glass down. “It’s too bad my cousin ended up getting called into work that evening because you two might have hit it off… well actually you probably would’ve butted heads, but as they say, opposites attract,” she smirks.

  Killian arches a brow. “I have two questions,” he says, counting the questions on his index and middle finger, “Which cousin? And is she pretty?”

  Elsa laughs. “Emma. And yes, she’s very pretty. She was supposed to have dinner with me and my Aunt Ingrid that night, but canceled because she got called into work. She’s a doctor.”

  “Really? She’s smart and pretty, and you’ve never introduced us?” he asks, pretending to be offended before he takes a sip of his tea. He wouldn’t describe her as pretty though. More like stunningly beautiful.

  “And she's three years older than us. I know how you like your women older,” she smirks.

  Killian rolls his eyes, not appreciating the off handed remark. “I dated an older woman once a long time ago, yet I never hear the end of it.” He's surprised Emma's thirty-eight even though he shouldn't be, considering she was the runner-up for Chief of Surgery and obviously has the education, training and experience for the rank. She certainly doesn't look her age though. She looks thirty, maybe thirty-five.

  Elsa laughs. “Oh come on, I'm only teasing. Anyway, Emma's always working. And I mean always. She works at Storybrooke General which is always on alert for major disasters . I hardly ever see her, and we lived together for five years when we were kids. She even missed mine and Liam’s wedding, but to be fair, she was on her way to the chapel when the entire hospital staff got called in. Remember that hundred-car pileup on I-10 the morning of the wedding?”

Killian nods. “Aye, of course I do. Gusty winds and a sudden whiteout caused the semi-truck driver to hit the car in front of him. 120 injuries, two fatalities. And there were multiple lanes closed while the DPS investigated. It was a huge mess.”

  “That’s the one.”

  They live in Central Texas, a region where it rarely snows, but on Liam and Elsa’s big day in early December, no one saw the snowstorm coming.

  “Thankfully, everyone arrived safely at the wedding. I was an emotional wreck as it was,” Elsa says, recalling very vividly how stressed she was that day.

  “It’s a shame Emma couldn’t have been there though.” Killian was the best man at that wedding and happily witnessed his brother exchange vows with the woman of Liam’s dreams.

  She shrugs. “Yes, it was, but she saved several lives that day, so I couldn’t really be mad at her.”

  Killian nods in agreement. He wants to ask more about Emma, but he’s afraid Elsa would be onto his intentions in a heartbeat. So instead they continue their heavy conversation about Liam and how they’ve missed out on so much by being closed off to each other. As far as she or anyone else is concerned, Killian no longer works for the SBPD, nor is he a detective. But even so, Elsa knows the difference between casual chit chat and being interrogated by a cop since she was with one for four years. She knows fairly well how a detective’s mind works. And while Killian investigates Dr. Swan, it’s essential no one finds out, especially Elsa and Anna. The only person outside of SBPD who knows Killian is working on the case is Mary Margaret, but only because David didn’t wish to lie to his wife. 

  “So, what do you say, Elsa? Can we be brother and sister-in-law again?” Killian asks with puppy dog eyes.

  Elsa rises from her chair, opening her arms for him. “Yes, I suppose we can.”

  Killian follows her lead and stands up to hug Elsa. He expels a lengthy sigh of relief as he wraps her up in his arms, both of them expressing through physical closeness what they could never express in words with each other over the last three years—sorrow, regret, guilt, but also forgiveness and appreciation. And as they hug, he counts the seconds, curious to know just how long two people who care about each other platonically would actually hug. He counts eleven seconds before they break it. But those eleven seconds were much needed and a long time coming. Though the length of the hug wasn’t even close to making up for the three years they had missed out on hugs, it was enough. 

  Nevertheless, Killian concludes, two people can share a hug for ten seconds or more without it being romantic. Emma may not have had romantic feelings for Humbert, but she cared for him. And someone who cares a great deal about someone else couldn’t possibly want them dead, especially not over a job promotion.

  “We should’ve done this a long time ago,” Elsa says, another tear spilling down her cheek.

  Killian nods as he lifts his hand to wipe it away with his thumb. “Agreed. Sorry I’ve been a stubborn ass.”

  She shakes her head. “I’m sorry I’ve been an ice queen.”

  He smirks and kisses her forehead. “You’re forgiven.”

  She shoves him playfully in the chest and laughs. “Hey, you’re not supposed to agree with me.”

  “Oof.” He places his hand there, pretending to be wounded. “I mean, you were never an ice queen,” he chuckles. 

  They hear the front door open, and when she heads out of the kitchen, Killian follows behind her, hearing loud chatter and excitement.

  “Uncle Killy!” Camila hurdles toward him like an Olympic sprinter, and Killian chuckles as he scoops his neice into his arms and lifts her up. 

  “Hey, little love, I missed you.”

  “I missed you too,” she says, laying her head on his chest. 

  Killian glances over her to see Elsa and Anna smiling at them.“You were right, she is growing like a weed.”

  Camila suddenly lifts her head up, her eyes wide with excitement. “Uncle Killy, wanna see my flower girl dress?”

  “Of course I do.” He looks over at Elsa and Anna again. “If that’s okay with them of course.”

  Elsa laughs. “Of course it is.” She looks at her daughter. “Camila, let’s take your new clothes upstairs and you can show me what you got first,” she says, grabbing the shopping bags from Anna. 

  After Killian sets his niece down, Elsa takes Camila’s hand in her free one and walks with her upstairs.

  “I see you two finally made up,” Anna comments once Elsa and Camila are out of sight. 

  “Aye we did,” he confirms as they move toward each other. “It was a long time coming. How could you tell?”

  She smiles. “Because of how cheerful she is around you now, instead of being all quiet and broody.”

  He chuckles. “The proper term is Ice Queen.” He points upstairs. “Her words, not mine.”

  “Yep, that pretty much describes it,” she laughs. “So, how have you been?”

  He shrugs. “I’m doing better now that I get to spend more time with my niece and sister-in-law. How about you? Ready for Saturday?”

  She groans and shakes her head. “Is any bride ever ready for their wedding? I mean, yes, I’m ready to get married to Kristoff, but there's still so many things to do and so little time. I needed a break, so I took Camila out for lunch and shopping, but I let her pick everything. I'm sick of making decisions,” she laughs.

  He smiles. “I can imagine.” He scratches behind his ear. “Well, if there’s any way I can help out, I’d be happy to—” 

  “Uncle Killy, look at my dress! Don’t I look like a princess?!”

  Killian looks up to see the prettiest five-year-old he’s ever seen as she bounds down the stairs, her brown curls bouncing around her. She’s wearing a purple, off the shoulder ball gown, embellished with flowers, beads and applique. He smiles and nods. “Aye, little love, it’s a dress fit for a princess.”

  When Camila reaches the bottom of the staircase, she gathers the skirt of her dress in each hand and curtsies. “Thank you.”

  He chuckles. “She’s even mastered the manners perfectly. You’ll make a fine flower girl.” 

  “That was fast,” Anna comments to her sister as she makes her way down the stairs.

  “I know. She was so excited to show Uncle Killy her dress, she wouldn't even show me the clothes you bought her,” she laughs. 

  Killian looks at Elsa with puppy dog eyes, making sure to lay the guilt trip on thick. “It’s just a shame I won’t be at the wedding to see her walk down the aisle in it.” He glances at Anna. “Or to see the bride in her wedding gown.”

  As expected, he witnesses the guilt flashing in Anna’s eyes, and in Elsa’s. 

  “Killian, I wanted to invite you, but—”

  “But Elsa asked you not to?” Killian guesses, ninety-nine percent sure he’s correct.

  Anna looks at her sister. 

  Elsa nods. “I did, but that was before we talked, Killian. I just didn’t want to bring any family drama to my sister’s wedding.”

  He puts up his hand to stop her from continuing. “Say no more, Elsa. I understand, it's fine.”

  “You’re not going, Uncle Killy?” Camila asks, her big blue eyes shining with unshed tears, her bottom lip trembling.

  Killian gives her a sad smile. “I’m afraid I wasn't invited, little love. But I will want pictures. Lots of pictures.” 

  “But why not?” She looks up at her mum. “Mommy, why can't Uncle Killy come to Auntie Anna’s wedding?”

  He glances over at Elsa, who seems to be having a telepathic conversation with her sister.

  He refrains from smirking because, one, he and Liam used to do the same thing when they didn't want anyone to hear their conversation, and two, he knows Anna is caving to Elsa’s unspoken request.

  Anna turns to look at him. “You’re welcome to come to the wedding, Killian.”

  His eyebrows climb his forehead in surprise. “Really?”

  “Yes, we have a couple extra seats available. An old friend of mine from college and her husband flaked out at the last minute.”

  “I don’t have to sit or even eat anything, I just want to be there to watch you get married and to spend time with my niece and sister-in-law.” And meet your aloof cousin who might be a murder suspect.

  “There will be an open bar and buffet at the reception, so there’s no assigned seating. You’ll be able to sit and eat and spend time with family. That is if you can forgive me for not inviting you in the first place.”

  Killian grins and gives Anna a hug. “Okay, I forgive you.”

  “Yay! Uncle Killy’s coming!” Camila chants, jumping up and down and clapping her hands.

  “Thank you, Anna,” he murmurs, kissing her cheek.

  “Of course. You’re still family, Killian. Don’t forget that. Oh, and you get a plus one, so you can bring a date if you'd like.”

  He waves off her words with his hand. “I’m sure Princess Camila will be my date.”

  Elsa furrows her brows. “Princess Camilla? Don’t you mean Duchess? And isn’t she a bit too old, even for you? Not to mention five thousand miles away?”

  Killian shakes his head and chuckles. “I'm not talking about the Duchess of Cornwall, I’m referring to my niece.” He kneels down in front of Camila, taking her hands in his. “Will you do me the honor of being my date to Aunt Anna’s wedding?”

  She giggles and nods. “Yes, I will, Uncle Killy.”

  “Perfect,” he says with a cheeky grin. “Does that mean I get the first dance with the lovely princess?” 

  She nods. “Why yes it does.” 

  He chuckles and scoops her into his arms, picking her up and facing Anna and Elsa. “I don’t need a plus one, I already have a date.”

  “Be careful of her dress,” Elsa chides, eyes wide with concern as she smooths out the skirt of Camila’s dress. “Princess gowns are not cheap.”

  “You mean to tell me Killian Jones can't find a woman his own age to take to my wedding?” Anna teases, hands on her hips. “You have to steal your five-year-old niece?” 

  “Oi, I can get a woman my own age,” he frowns. “Even though it’s not as easy since I was invited at the last minute,” he’s quick to point out, “it’s still doable. But why search for one when I already have the perfect date?”

  Elsa and Anna laugh and shake their heads as Killian sets his niece down on her feet.

  “Why don’t you go up and change out of your dress so you don’t ruin it, Camila. Do you want Mommy’s help?”

  Camila shakes her head. “No, I can do it, Mommy. I promise I’ll be careful.” She lifts the skirt of her dress so she doesn't trip over it and heads upstairs, sad she has to change out of her ballgown.

  “Lay the dress neatly on the bed so it doesn't get wrinkles,” Elsa calls out to her daughter.

  “Okay, Mommy.”

  Camila disappears into her bedroom as the sisters have a conversation among themselves. “Oh, by the way, did I tell you Emma RSVP'd?” Anna asks Elsa.

  Killian's ears perk up at the mention of Emma's name, and he can’t help but listen in on their conversation.

  “No, you didn’t. I’m surprised she’s going considering she lost her colleague recently.”

  Anna gasps, placing a hand on her chest. “Oh my, what happened?”

  “Didn’t you see the news? Dr. Humbert was stabbed to death in the hospital parking lot. The police don't know who did it yet. Did you hear about that, Killian?” Elsa asks him, both of the sisters turning to look at him.

  He shakes his head. “No, I didn’t. I don’t pay much attention to the news anymore.”

  “It was so tragic.”

  “Was he a friend of Emma’s?” Killian inquires casually.

  “Yes, he was. She always mentioned him in conversation when she talked about work. It was always, Graham said this or Graham did that and the story usually ended with us in a fit of giggles.”

  “And they were only friends?” he asks after deciding the question wouldn't be too prying.

  “As far as I know. She never sent me a picture of him indicating otherwise.”

  “Ah, I see,” Killian chuckles, catching her drift. “Emma did that too?”

  “Yeah,” Elsa says with a smile and looks at Anna. “You started it when you were what, fourteen and I was seventeen? Back when we had to use Polaroids to take pictures and send them through AOL messenger. We would send them to Emma in a group chat while she was away at college. But she's only sent us a couple pics of cute guys over the years.”

  “Really? Only a couple?” he asks, leaning against the island counter with his arms crossed. 

  “Yeah, she’s always been too focused on her career to think about boys. I remember she once had a boyfriend when she went to Harvard Medical School, but he broke her heart. She hasn’t dated since then. Or at least that I know of.”

  Killian nods, debating with himself whether he should ask anymore questions about Emma, but he doesn’t want to seem obvious. Besides, he’d rather talk to her himself to find out more about her. Now that he’s going to the wedding and knows for certain she’ll be there, barring any hospital emergencies of course, he’ll get that chance.

  “Like I said, we don’t talk as much anymore.” Elsa turns her head to look at Anna. “It’s nice she’s going to your wedding though.” 

  Anna agrees before her sister heads upstairs to make sure Camila is able to get out of her dress okay. 

  After they return downstairs, Killian spends some time with the three of them before he leaves to return to the motel room the SBPD had paid for after he agreed to help with the case. As soon as he's out the door, he retrieves his phone from his pocket and calls David.

  “I’m on the guest list,” Killian says and also informs him Emma's going to the wedding as well.

  “Excellent. Do you have something to wear?”

  “No, but I’ll pick something up.” Killian curses under his breath as he climbs into his truck, remembering he doesn’t even have a gift for the bride and groom. “I have to get a wedding gift too.”

  David recommends Royal Tuxedo and texts him the link to the bride and groom’s gift registry website.

  “Thanks, mate.”

  “No problem.” David gives Killian some instructions for the wedding and a reminder of how to behave around Elsa and Anna’s cousin, to which Killian rolls his eyes. 

  “I’m always a gentleman,” he claims defensively. “Emma will be in perfectly good hands, trust me.

  “Which is exactly what worries me,” David grumbles. “That brings me to my next friendly reminder…” 

  “Which is?”

  “Keep your dick in your pants.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard what I said.” 

  David’s correct—Killian heard him alright—he just can’t believe David felt he needed to say it. Killian’s a grown man, not a prepubescent child. 

  “Any man with two eyes, a brain and a beating heart can see the doctor is attractive.”

  Killian frowns. “So? I know how to keep it in my pants, even for a pretty blonde doctor, thank you very much. I do that far too often in fact.”

  “I'm serious, Jones. Emma's a suspect, and she might be in cahoots with Cassidy.”

  “Trust me, if she is in cahoots with Cassidy, I won't want anything to do with her personally. She could be bare naked on a bed dripping wet with her legs spread, begging for me and I still wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole.” Okay that's a lie. He might touch her just once with his pole. Or twice, because gods, if she were spread out on the bed begging for him, how could he resist her? 

  He has to think about something else to prevent his pole from getting hard at the image he implanted in his own mind. 

  Too late. 

  He shifts in his seat, repositioning himself when an unbidden groan slips out. 

  Bloody hell.

  “Did you just groan?”

  “No, it was a grunt, expressing my hatred for Cassidy.” Killian's statement may not be the entire truth, but he does harbor much hatred for Cassidy. “I want that bastard, David, and I'm not about to let him slip through my fingers by getting my rocks off with a pretty blonde, okay? I’ll do whatever it takes to get him.” 

  “Which is the second way this could go terribly wrong for us,” David murmurs, far from reassured by Killian's statement. “Don’t turn this into a personal vendetta.” 

  “If you're that worried I might screw this up, then why did you come to me asking for my help?” Killian questions, his words laced with irritation. 

  David raises his voice. “You already know why I asked for your help. Just don't make me sorry I did.”

  Killian hangs up and tosses his phone into the passenger seat before peeling out of Elsa’s driveway cursing to himself. As angry he is, he knows David has good reason for worrying. While Nolan has always been the level headed detective who plays by the rules, Killian is the rebel who has a careless approach to regulations and often lets his emotions take the lead. But still, he has another shot at getting that bastard and he’s not about to screw this one up.

  Cassidy will rue the day he met Killian Jones; he'll make sure of it. Even if it's the last he ever does.

Tagging some people who have shown interest so far. If you would like to be tagged or untagged, please let me know.

@itsfabianadocarmo​ @snowbellewells​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @nikkiemms​ @teamhook​ @xhookswenchx​ @nikkiemms​ @xsajx​ @julesep3026​ @hookedmom​ @biefaless​ @cluttermind​ @yasbio2015​ @kmomof4​ @lfh1226-linda​ @harshini01 @noensnaringnet​ @xarandomdreamx @onceuponaprincessworld​ @annastasiarinaldiva​ @royalswan​ @brustudyblog​ @officerrogers​ @gingerchangeling​ @melly326​ @singersdd @mzbossyboots​ @unworried-corsair​ @iamemmaswanjones​ @authorarsinoe​ @kingofmyheart14​ @nightskylover​ @jamif​ @resident-of-storybrooke​​ @iam2307​​ @winterbaby89​​ @chinawoodfan​ @mormonkryptonite @ultraluckycatnd​ @captainswan-shipper88​ @killianswanjones @bethdacattfm @andiirivera​

[jaune-chat]

If this is too many just pick those that you feel like answering haha but here goes:

1, 4, 13, 15, 24, 30, 36, 37, 40, 43, 51, 57, 62 (could be 7 characters, could be more depending on your mood ig lol), 64, 73, 78, 80, 83, 92, and 97

Cheers! ^^

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Yes.  All of the above.  Depends on what I’m drinking. But I like mugs for their warmth and solidity.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? Quiet and a good student. I was/am good at memorizing, so I could pick up things quickly, and I didn’t talk a lot due to shyness + a speech impediment.

13. lanyard or key ring? Key ring. I had literal dozens in high school, most of them on a backpack rather than my keys, but even now I have a few key chains on my key rings.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? All Quiet on the Western Front. It was the only one I remember that was assigned that actually moved and interested me and that I actually reread periodically to this day.

24. favorite crystal? Ooo, that’s tough, because I like a lot, but amethyst is probably my favorite.

30. places that you find sacred? Green spaces. There was an outdoor chapel in a Y camp I went to as a kid that they called the Green Cathedral, due to the tall trees, and that was one of my first meaningful religious experiences.  (I’ve been in a few lovely churches too, where it’s clear the builders really cared about expressing their love for their spirituality, and those are beautiful and sacred too.)

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? While memes certainly existed before the internet (as did I, I grew up without it because it didn’t exist yet), the first I really remember seeing was Cheezburger Cat, “I can haz cheesburger?”

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase. I like the stuff I folded to be in the same place when I get to where I’m going.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? We once had a fire at my high school, started in the woodshop, by a guy who threw an illegal cigarette (he was underage to smoke and smoking wasn’t allowed on school grounds) into a garbage can full of sawdust... on Stamp Out Smoking Day. Which I recall was during cold weather and the school officials didn’t allow us to have our jackets in class, nor let us get our jackets, so we all huddled outside and froze for a long while before they let us go inside (it still stank of smoke everywhere) to get our stuff before letting the whole school go home.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie. If you’re going to have casual outerwear it might as well have a head covering attached so I don’t have one more thing to juggle.

51. current stresses? Other than the pandemic, political and social inequality, and climate catastrophe?  Idiots at work, lack of motivation to get writing done, upswing in my depression symptoms due to the pandemic et al, and possibly a dose of anxiety to top it off.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? My suicidal college depression (still ongoing, but has been more manageable), being able to find and keep a job after being fired from one I had spent nearly ten years working towards, and finding and maintaining friendships once away from school.

62. seven characters you relate to? Herald Talia from Mercedes Lackey’s Heralds of Valdemar series.  Jazz from the novel Artemis by Andy Weir.  Sandra Bennett from the TV show Heroes.  Dumery from The Blood of a Dragon novel by Lawrence Watt-Evans.  Cassandra from the Touchstone series by  Andrea K Höst. Mhera the ottermaid from the novel The Taggerung from the Redwall series by Brian Jacques.  And Resti from the short story Death and the Ugly Woman by Bruce D. Arthurs in the short story collection Sword and Sorceress IV (1987).  (If anyone manages to find this book and this story, trigger warning for sexual assault and death - I did not know this coming into the story, as content warnings were not a thing at that time/and in novels, period. It’s a powerful and well-written story, but it does have dark material.)

64. favorite website from your childhood? Again I grew up pre-internet so I didn’t start surfing the web until I was nearly 12, and the internet was still pretty new to all and sundry. The I Can Has Cheezburger site had the funny memes of the day, so I’ll go with that.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? When the parents would take us to a buffet, I and my sister were allowed to get what we wanted.  We had to get salad first, though, and as I wasn’t a fan of lettuce or a lot of salad vegetables, I would make what I call “cheese salad” (in the best American Midwest/South tradition). It was a combination of cottage cheese, cheese shreds, pepperoni or bacon pieces, hot cheese sauce, and ranch dressing.  Yum!  (I still make a version of this for when I need tasty food in a hurry and can’t be arsed to prepare anything else.)

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? I don’t like coffee at all, and have never had sushi. But as I understand that the quality of fish and preparation really matters in sushi, I am supposing that a specialist sushi restaurant would give a far better experience. Whereas coffee can be drunk for pleasure, but when sufficiently doctored just works for the caffeine boost.  So I’d rather have bad coffee that I can doctor, rather than bad raw fish that can only be doctored so much.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel Tones. If I could get away with it, I’d decorate my whole house and body with jewel tones.

83. writing or drawing? Writing. My ability to describe something in words far surpasses my ability to recreate it with drawing.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? For pure ambiance in a room?  At night, lamps.  By day, sunlight.  For a magical feel or to uplift myself? Fairy lights.  To find whatever the heck it is I just dropped?  Overhead lights.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? When I was a kid, pre-cell phones?  Probably over a dozen.  Now?  Two, mine and the husband’s. I also have a few old phone numbers rattling around in my skull, and a couple from ads that have burned themselves into my brain.

[ahoncc]

10 + 1 Grand Fondo Bike Rides in Seven Months

Hello people, my name is James. I am neither a pro cyclist nor a barista, so don’t take my opinions on either subject too seriously. I just love brewing/drinking coffee and riding my bike; I think the two are a match made in heaven. Not surprisingly, a lot of people think so too. 

To start things off, allow me to chronologically share 100-km bike routes I’ve taken within the past seven months of cycling. 

1. Lower Antipolo, Caloocan, North Caloocan. 101 km. 

This was my first metric century ride, a month into cycling. I had planned a coffee delivery route and a schedule and was fully expecting to make it to each stop in good time. On paper, it didn’t seem that hard. How naïve I was. What the map doesn’t tell you is how horrible the roads are, how hot the weather is, or how crowded with trucks some streets are. Add to that the fact that Komoot is not a good on-the-fly navigation tool, and I was on the fast lane to disaster. Getting lost in a totally janky area on the bumpiest roads was not fun at all.

I was dying, but I kept at it. I was a noob who refused to admit defeat. After getting out of the sticks known as North Caloocan, I hit the mythical wall and bonked. As I thought that things couldn’t get any worse, it rained. Thankfully I was close to a Jollibee so I refueled and let the rain pass. Later that day, I did laps close to home just to complete 100 km since I was just a couple of km short.

4/10. It was totally my fault for being unprepared, but this ride sucked. I’d give it a 3/10 but there’s a bonus point since it was my first long ride.

2. Tagaytay via Daang Hari and Paliparan. 140 km. 

Tagaytay seems to be a test of courage or rite of passage that every budding cyclist has to undertake. And it is quite an undertaking. However which way you slice the cake, you’ll have to climb. If gradients aren’t your thing, you’d quickly question why you’re doing this in the first place. 

Like every long ride (I know this now), it requires adequate preparation, i.e. time, weather conditions, road and traffic conditions, hydration and snacks, and physical fitness. I was more prepared than I was the first century ride, but we started late and therefore finished late. 

I had good company during this ride and being with them made the exhaustion bearable. It was hot on the way up and the traffic was dreadful on the way back, but we survived thanks to Pocari Sweat and Choco Mucho. 

7/10. This was a good “beta test” for me. Could’ve easily been an 8/10 but the Mang Inasal at the roundabout ran out of inasal. I got the last piece, but Jilson and Dan had to settle for something else. 

3. Pililia Windmills via Binangonan. 114 km.

This was my first time riding with a large group. There were seven of us. As this was in the same week as my ride to Tagaytay, I came into this fairly confident and with high morale (aside from the fact that I was the seventh wheel). It slowly got lower as mishap after mishap occurred; a flat tire, a broken chain, another flat tire... 

On this ride, I learned that it’s essential to have an idea of each person’s capabilities so you can set the right pace and adjust where and when necessary. We all had different types of bikes, different fitness levels, and different experiences biking on the road. It couldn’t be helped that some were dropped and others had to wait. In this regard, it was a tough and long day and toward the end of it, I was itching to be home.

6/10. At the time, climbing Pililia felt like treading through mud, but making it to the top was very rewarding. Good food and good conversation made up for aching legs.

4. San Jose Del Monte (Fake Eiffel Tower) via McArthur Highway. 111 km.

This started out as an easy ride on flats. We were all prepared and even the traffic and heat didn’t hamper our confidence. Once we were out of the highway and passing through barangays, the views became nicer. There was less pollution too. We saw the fake Eiffel Tower and met a couple of lolos who were still going strong. It was a good day that was only made better by a tasty, cheap, meal. 

By this time, my fitness level and technique were steadily improving, and I was starting to enjoy climbing more. The way back was hilly, but it was no trouble for me. The cause of stress was, as usual, the traffic on the way back. If you can help it, don’t ever pass through Caloocan! It’s the worst. Commonwealth is also a horrible place to ride a bike.

7/10. Good times with good friends! The stop-and-go, clip-and-unclip traffic was a bummer. AG cramped up, but proud of him for powering through it and clocking in his first 100-km ride.

5. Tagaytay via Nuvali and Cardiac Hill. 136 km.

Second time riding to Tagaytay. This time, we rode out early. Iver and I met up in Makati and rode straight to Nuvali where we were to meet the rest of the guys. All was going well and we were maintaining a steady pace, till we made a mistake and met an accident. 

Instead of making a right to Greenfield, we went straight to CALAX. We were none the wiser, so it felt strange when workers started screaming at us. While Iver was looking at them, one of the security personnel near the toll gate stepped in front of me. I had to stop and since Iver was still looking at the guys yelling at us, his front wheel hit my rear and he went over the bars. When I felt the impact, I looked back and I kid you not, I saw him go over in slow motion! He landed on his shoulder and he burst an eyebrow; thank God for helmets! 

As he sat with his blood dripping on the pavement, I was torn between taking a photo and making sure he was okay. I went with the latter, but later on, he told me that I should’ve snapped the photo.  What a guy! 

Cardiac Hill was a bit of a challenge. In fact, it was the hardest part of the way to Leslie’s. I stopped at the base of the hill for a moment just to steel myself and went up the hill without stopping. Slowly, but surely. 

8/10. As usual, the traffic was the worst. Sorelle was in so much pain that going all the way back to Manila on two wheels was out of the question. It was getting late too, so we decided to stop in Bacoor and take a Transportify back to manila. The first and only time (so far) I did the forbidden technique, but it was the smart thing to do.

6. Pisong Kape via Sumulong and Teresa. 103 km.

One of those rides where we didn’t have a fixed destination. We just wanted to go up Antipolo and down Teresa and back, and maybe climb to the windmills if we felt like it. 

A fairly easy ride up Sumulong Highway and a fun time descending to Teresa. It wasn’t all good vibes though, since one of the guys punctured a tire on a descent, which we think caused his crash. He was okay, but his brand new cycling jersey wasn’t.

We made it all the way to Tanay and had breakfast silog there, and decided to head to Pisong Kape at the base of Pililia. When it showed signs of rain, we decided to turn back. More mishaps. Someone got a flat, and another one dropped a chain and had FD issues on the way to the climb to Antipolo from Teresa. We got split up at some point too.

5/10. This is what’s referred to as a bad juju ride. Hot, traffic, and a ton of things we’d rather not experience on the road. I stopped and waited for a good half hour at Decathlon Masinag, but left and rushed home since I needed to poop, lol.

7. Nuvali via a straight and narrow road through barangays and National Highway. 102 km.

It was the day before heading to Baguio for the holidays and I made brunch plans in Alabang with Elle. I was really excited to bike to her but more so to see her. If I left the house late, it would be hot and traffic would be terrible, so I decided to leave at dawn and make a long ride out of it and go all the way to Nuvali. 

I didn’t want to take the service road like last time, so I followed the map through I don’t even know what road this is. All I know is that it was straight and narrow and clogged with tricycles. It spanned several barangays in Pasig, Taguig, Pateros, Sucat, Alabang, etc., and eventually led me to the National Highway. 

It was all flat and this was my first ride on carbon wheels. I was riding solo, so I could go as fast or as slow as I wanted. I made it to Nuvali in 2:20. After resting for half an hour, I took the same route to Alabang and was there in 1:30. On the way back, I took the service road.

ELLEven/10. The route sucked both ways but it was a good day with Elle. What else can I say?

8. Macabebe Beach via Obando. 175 km.

The flattest route I’ve taken, both literally and figuratively. Levi and I rode out from the Mandaluyong circle at 3:30 AM and cut through Manila to get to Monumento. From there, we opted to avoid McArthur Highway and instead took the more scenic, Obando way. I say scenic, but in reality, all we saw was black. We only stopped to buy pandesal and to navigate. As the sun rose, we found ourselves getting closer to the longest 24 km of my life. 

It was a hard left turn from the highway about a km from the arc of Pampanga. The streets were narrow, and we passed through about four barangays. There were a lot of cars on the road, which was quite irritating because we had to stop when they did. The straights never seemed to end; in fact, I went “Look Ma, no hands!” for about what seemed like a couple of km. As we neared the beach though, we were rewarded by breathtaking views on both sides. The beach itself was mediocre and we stayed only for half an hour to eat our pandesal.

The way back was more difficult. You guessed it, it was due to the heat and the traffic and the horrendous roads in Bulakan. We stopped for coffee and to shield ourselves from the burning sun a few times, but overall we kept a steady, okay let’s be honest, frantic pace. We got to Makati a little over 1:00 PM. Levi and I made it in less than 10 hours. With stops. I was spent.

9/10. This was quite an experience. I always wanted to try a purely flat ride, so I did. It was boring. I’m not saying it was easy -- far from it. Being on flats takes a certain type of mindset and discipline, not to mention you have to be strong. The effort it takes to get from point A to B in a specific time is the same back and forth. Unlike climbing, there’s no descending that comes after. You can’t freewheel down the mountain and recover. I learned a lot on this ride, one of the things being that I like gradients more than watts. 

9. Tagaytay via RevPal, Sungay, and Sampaloc. 110 km. 

Tagaytay take three, route three. This time, we drove to Alabang and started there. What we should have done is start in Nuvali. But Luz insisted on starting in Alabang. This was not a good idea, lol. I want to preface this with the statement that as it was, the planned route was a killer. It didn’t help that I had little sleep and had a hard workout the day before. Another bad idea.

Let me give you a TL;DR: We climbed up RevPal from Nuvali, went down to Taal via Sungay, and climbed back up to Tagaytay proper via Sampaloc. From there, we went back down to Nuvali via Cardiac Hill. 

Easy on paper, not so much in action. RevPal is steep, but not impossibly difficult. Part of the difficulty is avoiding all the other cyclists occupying the road, weaving their way up (known as nag tatahi) while staying out of the way of cars. At some point, my right knee started acting up, adding to the difficulty level of the ascent. 

What was unexpected though was how scary the descent on Sungay was. I won’t get into detail, but suffice it to say that we should have taken it as a sign when we saw that other riders were dismounting so they could walk down... That said, what an adrenaline rush!

The climb up Sampaloc was tough with an aching knee (which by the way has no ACL), but thankfully there were a lot of trees and cover. Not my best performance, but I still made it up without stopping. The descent from Tagaytay proper was meh. From Nuvali, we rode with our friends who had the brilliant idea to park there. I slept on the way home. 

9/10. I officially dubbed our group Mountain Goats after this ride. We have a lot of rides that are less than 100 km, but we often reach over 1000 meters of elevation gain. On this outing, we hit 1,640. I wonder how I’ll fair if I do this again in good condition.

10. Sierra Madre Loop via Teresa. 118 km. 

I think this is the most fun Grand Fondo I’ve done. It’s the highest I’ve climbed in the fastest time. 1740 m in 5:43:28. Arguably the most fun I’ve had on a bike. The climbs could kill you if you don’t pace yourself, but the descents were so rewarding. 

The only sucky part about this ride was motorcyclists who go up on their underbone bikes and bank the corners like they own the place. They don’t signal when they turn. They take sudden U-turns. They overtake you, swerve, and suddenly stop in front of you. They are a danger to themselves and others. In fact, Levi mentioned that when she was there, a guy on a Mio overshot a corner and he and his bike went under the guard rail onto the cliff. Thank God he was alive.

10/10. The chicsilog was made even more delicious by the view from the top of the mountain. 

10 + 1. Laguna Loop. 192 km.

Laguna Loop is fun they said. You should try it, they said.

Well, I did. And I hated it. THEY LIED. This is by far the worst Fondo I’ve done. It was fun climbing Antipolo via Cabrera Road. It was fun going down Teresa. It was fun going up Pililia (which was so much easier than the first time). It was fun going down Mabitac. And that’s where the fun ended.

From that point, it was flat. It was hot. It was traffic. And the drivers were so bad. By bad, I mean jempoy bad. By jempoy bad, I mean trying to ride you off the road and driving at your side with their window down to argue with you. It was not fun. Have I said that it wasn’t fun?

2/10. Not gonna lie, I don’t even consider this ride as a Grand Fondo (which is why it’s a +1 and not a solid 11); the only part of the ride that counts is the first part with the ascents and descents. The rest was just really getting it over with. One point for that first part and another for the good company. WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN.

Okay, that’s it. It’s quite a long post but it should be okay since it’s the first one? I hope you enjoyed my unedited reviews of my 100-km rides. Again I’m not a pro so don’t take these scores seriously. Ride the routes yourself if you can and let me know what you think! 

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Writing Commission - Where I Want To Be - Chapter Seven

Summary: Yamada Hizashi, better known as the Voice Hero Present Mic, is a busy man. He has classes and students to teach English to, an agency that always seemed to be in the middle of a disaster to help deal with, and a radio station that was one bad show away from being cancelled to run. He doesn’t have time for a bad day triggered by nightmares and fears and anxieties that just never seem to stop.

Luckily for him, his partners are Aizawa Shouta and Yagi Toshinori and neither of those two are very good at leaving Hizashi to suffer alone.

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia    

Relationship: Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic/Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic/Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yagi Toshinori | All Might

Characters: Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yagi Toshinori | All Might

Rating: Teen Audiences

Word Count: 29,323

Transaction Amount: $200 (USD)

WARNINGS FOR: Past childhood abuse (both emotional and physical) and anxiety attacks verging on panic to PTSD episodes. Please read with caution if needed.

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                                        Chapter Index

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The brief hour-long respite Toshinori had blessed Hizashi with had been just enough to keep him from trekking up to the roof of his agency and either jumping or throwing a couple of idiots off, but the hour had ended and Hizashi was once again contemplating either suicide or murder. He was leaning towards murder since no one would really fault him and, plus, Shouta and Toshinori would even be proud of him for picking that option out of the two! 

“Alright. Explain this to me again.” Because Hizashi, despite what people thought, could be patient and understanding. Even on his bad days he did his best to keep his own emotions in check and hear out the people he worked with when a problem occurred. “How did you end up setting one of the lower labs on fire?” 

Two support engineers, one support intern, and the director of the lab in question all exchanged looks with one another. The director clutched his clipboard as if he were about to break it in half due to fear and stress before he cleared his throat, “Well, sir, it’s actually a rather intriguing scientific act that caused the… commotion.” 

Hizashi resisted the urge to faceplant on his desk and instead cursed everyone in his agency for leaving him to deal with this mess. Typically, in cases like lab destruction, it would be dealt with by someone who actually worked in the support labs. The problem with that, however, was that that person was out sick and that left Hizashi, who understood how the support labs and the items inside worked, to deal with the problem.

Hizashi should have taken the day off sick, too. He should have just finished at school and then gone straight home, but no. He had to be stubborn and noble and care about his job. He was regretting his choices in life more and more with each passing second.

“Present Mic, sir.” The intern, a sweet little thing that looked equal parts nervous and excited with hair sticking up in all directions, gave an encouraging grin. “We actually managed to contain the fire to 67% of the lab, as well as keep all volatile projects safe and discover a quicker-burning fuel that gives a more intense burn for Wildfire. With a bit more tweaking, I have no doubt we could have a fuel that would burn through all three layers of skin, barring any quirk changes or effects, within 2.7 seconds!” 

Quiet for a long moment, Hizashi looked up at the lab director, who gave a weak, nervous smile before opening his mouth. He then must have realized that nothing he could say would help the situation because he then closed his mouth and gave an apologetic smile. Hizashi felt his headache, which had been coming in and out all day, give a throb of pain. 

“Alright. You,” Hizashi pointed to the director. “Write up a report of this and send it to whoever is in charge of your lab this week -- not me. Include the fact that not everything was destroyed and you’ve discovered something to better help Wildfire. That’ll take some of the heat off of you.” The only one to appreciate his joke with the intern, who gave a snort of startled laughter. 

“You two.” Hizashi pointed at the engineers, who straightened up nervously. “See what the damage was to everything and draw up a plan to deal with it. Don’t worry too much about cost right now but do what you can to minimize any losses. Try to reuse any supplies that didn’t end up too bad off in the fire, too. And you.” 

Hizashi stared at the intern, who gave him a cheerful, happy little grin. The kid was one of their only first-year interns who had been brought in as a special case and Hizashi could feel himself waver at the bright enthusiasm. Well, no one had said he was strong, really. “Excellent work today, but I want you to write up a one-page essay on fire and lab safety and hand it in to the lab director by your next workday. I also want you to send all the data you collected today to my email with everything you learned.” 

While he didn’t need the data, it would be interesting to see those numbers. Typically a fire that burned that hot and that fast only came about through quirks, so it would be interesting to see how far they could push the effectiveness of it. If they did a good enough job then they could have some support equipment that was on par with some of the quirks that came out of Endeavor’s agency, and it was always nice to knock him down a peg or two.

“Yes sir, Present Mic sir! I’ll even be sure to write two pages about the lab and fire safety!” The intern was out of the room like a shot, Hizashi feeling a twitch of a smile before one of the engineers cleared his throat. 

“Um, sir?” Oh. Oh, Hizashi did not like that tone. “One of the projects that was, uh, compromised today was meant to be Sonic Whip’s.” Ah. Right. Sonic Whip. One of the most terrifying women that Hizashi had ever had the displeasure to meet and who had a temper shorter than a deranged villain’s. “It was of a rather sensitive nature and… She’s expecting the first prototype tomorrow.” 

Hizashi resisted the urge to climb out his office window and escape, instead sucking in a calming breath and grabbing his phone before heading towards the door, “I just remembered I have a meeting.” It was a very important meeting, too; one with his face and a brick wall in the half-forgotten hidden lounge on the bottom floor of the agency.

Thankfully, Hizashi had long since mastered the art of looking like he was on his way to an important meeting, which meant no one tried to stop him as he marched himself through the agency and threw himself down on the first couch he saw in the empty lounge. It was dark, from no one having repaired the lights in a while, it was quiet, where it was tucked away into a back corner with thick walls, and it was always empty where everyone forgot to refill the fridge. It was heaven. 

At least, it was heaven until he heard someone collapse on the couch across from him, the sound of a grunt barely being finished before it turned into a surprised, “Yamada! I wouldn’t have thought you were in here with how quiet it was!” Oh, god, it was the only other person in the agency who could be as loud and cheerful as him. This was punishment. It had to be.

Inching his gaze to the side, Hizashi mourned the peace and quiet he had gotten for only a few short minutes as he looked at Shima Hikari, the hero known as Radiant; a light-quirk user that was no doubt going to make his light sensitivity even worse if she felt even the slightest uptick in excitement. She was looking far too cheerful considering her, and the sidekick Hizashi hadn’t even heard at first, looked like they were a few seconds away from hitting the ground in a puddle of exhaustion. 

Taking a moment to weigh the options between responding and ignoring her, Hizashi finally let out a sigh with a quiet, “Alright, you two?” 

“Peachy keen!” Shima chirped, crossing her legs and then looking over to her sidekick, who had her own legs thrown over one end of the couch and her head resting near Shima’s thigh. Poor kid looked exhausted and Hizashi took a moment to be grateful his own sidekick days were over. Sometimes, even if he truly hated to admit it, he’d rather take the paperwork over dealing with stupid villains and angry cops. “Isn’t that right, Stardust?” The kid gave a pathetic groan that sounded half exhausted and half pained. “That’s the spirit!”

“I think you’ve killed your sidekick,” Hizashi snorted, pushing himself up and biting the inside of his cheek to stop a groan at the throb in his head. “We’re supposed to be careful with those, you know. We only have a limited supply of them.”

Shima huffed, placing a hand against her chest, “Excuse you, I take the utmost care of my sidekicks, thank you very much. At least I don’t load them full of caffeine and sugar and energy drinks and hope they don’t die of exhaustion before the end of a patrol like you do.”

“And yet they love me anyways,” Hizashi snickered, readjusting himself against the couch as he flicked his eyes over the two again. They were both covered with dust and rubble, scratches across all visible parts of their skin. Stardust had one of her ankles tightly wrapped, and Shima had a bandage around her head, but neither of them looked too bad off. “Interesting patrol, then?” 

“Started with chasing a purse thief and then he led us all the way to a drug den where a deal was going on between some pretty important figures,” Shima snorted, pulling out her phone and starting to type on it at once. Hizashi couldn’t really blame her since his phone, and Shouta and Toshinori, were the only reasons he was no doubt still sane. “Seriously, though. You’re quiet as shit. What happened? Another lab blew up while you were stuck on report duty?” 

“Fire, actually,” Hizashi responded, watching with amusement as Shima’s head snapped up, eyes narrowed and studying him. They then widened with sympathy. Even Stardust, half-asleep as she was, made a noise that sounded sympathetic.

“Oh, fuck, I thought I was just joking.” Yeah, that’s what made it even worse, really. “Everyone alright? Any injuries?”

“No injuries, thankfully.” Hizashi collapsed back on the couch, groaning at the flash of pain in his back. “It’s not the worst lab disaster we’ve ever had but add that on top of everything else that’s been happening, and it’s been a long day.” Plus, his sensory overload, flashes of memory, and trauma were all acting up to make the day try and kill him once and for all. 

“We told you, right back at the beginning, to not take that job at U.A.,” Shima lectured, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “You already had a full-time job here and with that radio station of yours, and what did you do?” 

“I took the job at U.A.,” Hizashi mumbled, wincing as Shima repeated the words even louder. She truly was his punishment in life.

“You took the job at U.A.! Being a teacher is a lifestyle and you’re doing that with two other jobs! Which are also lifestyles!” Shima made a very dismissive tsking noise, Hizashi cracking an eye open to glare at her. “What? I’m right and you know it. Right, Stardust?” 

The kid cracked her eyes open, blearily staring between the two of them before looking back to Shima, “Sorry, Shima-san, but I refuse to take sides in an argument with pro-heroes when all three of us work in the same agency.”

Hizashi snorted, the serious tone of voice lifting his mood for a few moments, “Smart kid, Shima. She’s gonna be better than you one day.” 

Shima scoffed, beaming and radiating pride as she turned back to her phone, “Yeah, yeah. Oh, you might wanna go get your stuff and get ready to leave, by the way.” 

“What?” Why would he leave? Hizashi still had another two hours of his shift at the agency before he had to head over to the radio station. “Why would I-?”

A loud ping from his phone had Hizashi frowning before he was looking down at it, seeing an incoming message from one of the higher ups. It only took a quick scan of the message to see that he was, not-so-politely, being told that he was done for the day, already clocked out, and that his husband was on his way to pick him up so he could ‘get some goddamn rest.’ Shima gave a proud, beaming grin when Hizashi looked up at her. “You’re welcome!”

“I hate you?” Hizashi looked from her to his phone, feeling a shock of warmth at how much the people in his life cared for him. The fact he was already clocked out meant he legally couldn’t even try to get back on his computer and do anymore work for the day without getting into legal trouble. He was legally being told to get out and go get some rest. “Why are you so mean to me?” Which meant once he finished at the radio station he could go home and cuddle up with Shouta and Toshinori and let their warmth and safety drown out everything else.

“Aw, I see you as a friend, too,” Shima cooed, voice softer and quieter. When Hizashi glanced over, he saw she was petting at her sidekick’s head, the girl halfway to being asleep as she breathed softly. “Seriously, though, Yamada. I know what a rough day looks like, so just… take care of yourself, yeah?”

“Fuck,” Hizashi breathed out softly, pulling himself up with a groan. “I’m going to have to actually get you something decent for Christmas, aren’t I?” The ugly snort of laughter had Hizashi managing a larger smile as he shook his head. “Make sure to get some rest yourself, Shima.” 

“Just as long as you do, Yamada,” she winked, shooing him out so she could coddle her sidekick even more than she already did. Honestly, Hizashi was waiting for Shima to come in with adoption papers with how she was about that kid. 

It wasn’t until Hizashi was halfway to his office that his phone dinged again, this time a message from Shouta with a laughing emoji and a simple, ‘Got kicked out huh?’

‘I was politely told to get the fuck out and get some goddamn rest before I had a heart attack and would need to be replaced,’ Hizashi texted back, trying not to snort as Shouta sent a row of more laughing emojis. It was hilarious that everyone assumed Hizashi was the emoji abuser when Shouta’s texts typically contained an emoji with each line or sentence. ‘You don’t have to come get me.’

‘Too late. Already omw.’ Which meant Shouta had probably left to come and check on him just like Toshinori had even before he had been texted by Hizashi’s agency. ‘Get your things before they lock you out of your office workaholic.’

‘You have no rights to call me that considering your own work ethic.’ Hizashi sent a little emoji of his own before tucking his phone away and heading to get his things. Considering the type of people he worked with, he truly wouldn’t be surprised if they kicked him out before he could so much as grab his bag. They wouldn’t even feel bad about it, they would just laugh at him.

Thankfully, it didn’t take him long to gather the files he needed and head back down towards the lobby, everyone soundly ignoring him. It wasn’t the first time an agency wide message had been sent out to warn people that Hizashi was getting kicked out and, knowing him and his co-workers, it wouldn’t be the last. Hizashi hated and loved every last one of them. 

Hizashi was on the sidewalk when a pair of footsteps fell into step with his own, Hizashi feeling something in him soften and relax at Shouta’s quiet laugh, “Radiant was the one to kick you out, huh? How’d that feel?”

“Like the universe was throwing everything I’ve ever done back in my face,” Hizashi snorted, smiling when Shouta’s shoulder brushed against his own. “I could have finished my shift, you know. It’s not a patrol day.” 

“You could have,” Shouta agreed, looking at him with that look of his that was far too understanding. “But you don’t have to. You’re the one always yelling at me about teamwork and cooperation with others, after all, aren’t you?” 

“That’s because you try to take on two dozen human traffickers without any backup.” That had been far too nerve wracking of a night, in Hizashi’s opinion. Nemuri, at least, had shared in his suffering when Shouta had ended laid up in the hospital with a concussion and a broken wrist.

“Mm, you all were running late.” Ass, Hizashi thought to himself fondly. “I’d ask if we were going home, but…”

“Radio station,” Hizashi finished, closing his eyes for a moment. As much as he craved going home and finally resting, he still had work to do. He wouldn’t let a bad day ruin all the work he and everyone else he worked with at the station had been doing. Besides, it wasn’t a recording or live day, so there was at least that much. 

“You’re lucky you don’t need to record today,” Shouta snorted, reading Hizashi’s mind as he always did. “Alright. Let’s go, then.” Hizashi half-wanted to argue that Shouta didn’t need to come with him, but he knew it was a fight he wouldn’t win. 

Hizashi took a breath anyways, getting ready to gather up the energy he would need to ask about Toshinori, and dinner, and how the students were after Shouta had checked on the dorm. Stupidly, though, Hizashi forgot that he was talking to Shouta.

He hadn’t even gotten a word out before Shouta was talking again, firm enough to be heard, but soft enough to make it easy on his headache, “Toshinori made it home alright, by the way. He also started digging up American Sign Language books, but I decided I didn’t even want to ask since I knew I’d hear about it from you later. He’s also starting dinner. For a man who doesn’t eat food typically, he’s a better cook than I would have thought. 

“Oh, and I think the kid is gonna kill all the troublemakers in 1-A if they keep trying to kidnap him like they have been,” Shouta continued, Hizashi feeling tension drain out of him as he listened to the man’s voice. “They actually had him trapped in the dorms when I went to check on everything before Nemuri took over watch. He was taped to the chair and making at least two of them do handstands.”

Shouta didn’t stop for a moment, talking softly and damn near rambling as his steps kept time with Hizashi’s, not expecting him to say a single word back in response. It was a routine that was years old and familiar enough that Hizashi could let himself get lost in the words as Shouta led them along to where they needed to go. 

His eyes slipped shut for a moment, the phantom feeling of pressure around his throat and leather cutting into his skin damn near gone. He was still exhausted, and stretched thin, and felt like too much at once would put him right back where he had been, but… 

The day was almost over and he had Shouta by his side. As far as he was concerned, he would be just fine for a few more hours.

[bssaz97]

Fun Times #2

*Atlas, Red Queen Theatre*

If someone were to tell Whitley right now that he was acting very anxious, he would tell them that would be the understatement of the year. Whitley was waiting outside the entrance to the Red Queen, one of the most high class theatre in Atlas. How did he get reservations for a movie picture for ‘Hunter’s Cabin part 2’ on the night of its premiere one might ask? Well the easy answer was he received a monthly allowance of about 2.5 thousand lien and had a large number of connections to high class places due to his family’s name. The harder explanation was how he had to literally open a new bank account, one without his father’s knowledge and under his name rather so that Father wouldn’t be able to track it. Was it backhanded? Yes. Did he have regrets? Not particularly. Would he do it again? If it was the only way to meet Sun_Dragon without his family’s notice, then yes he would.

Which brings him here tonight, he’ll be meeting Sun_Dragon in person for the first time so yes he felt had good reason to be anxious. Why? Well while he knows his family is very influential in Atlas there comes a drawback to such influence. That would be social media. If he were to come dressed as Whitley Schnee, then the paparazzi would come in as a snowstorm and most likely scare her off. He wanted this night to happen as natural as possible. So that’s why he came prepared in his disguise; a dark blue herringbone newboy cap, a gray tweed knee length trench coat, a blue/silver/gray scarf, leather gloves for hands, and a pair of nonprescription glasses. This way he will stand out but not too much to get recognized as a heir to multi-billion lien company. He just hopes that she will be here soon, but at the same time does not wish to rush her arrival as he tries to formulate a greeting to her when she does come.

Yang: White Knight?

Whitley quickly turns toward the source of his voice and turned to see the person he was waiting for and....she was much more beautiful in person than a picture could ever hope to convey. Sun_Dragon was adorned tonight with her huntress outfit that she wore in most pictures he saw her in. He supposed when one made a career in fighting literal monsters of darkness, one always had to be ready. It honestly didn’t bother him at all though, she looked great in it.

Whitley:(Smiles) Sun_Dragon, I’m glad to finally meet you face to face.

Yang: Could say the same, like the hat!

Whitley: Oh thank you! You look good yourself....

Yang: ....Well I guess we should get going to see the movie right?

Whitley: Oh! Yes, you’re right. We should do that! Shall we. (Offers right arm)

Yang: Pfff, sure whatever you say Knight.

With that both of the online friends make their way inside. Both haven’t not stopped smiling yet.

*Mantle, Blum Cinema*

The group consisting of RNJRP having made their way to the local theatre, wait in line to buy tickets for the premiere of “Kill Softly part 4” featuring Spruce Fillis. Both Ruby and Jaune were fans of the first trilogy and had been anticipating the release of the fourth installment of the movie. Ren and Nora have also have seen the first three movies and while Ren thought they were ok, Nora absolutely loved the action of the films. So while they all waited they helped fill in the gaps to Oscar who had not seen any of the movies at this point.

Oscar: So pretty much all the movies starring Spruce Willis are about his character stopping terrorist plots in multiple places.

Ren: That would be the quick summary, yes.

Nora: And he blows stuff up! Don’t forget that part!

Once getting to the head of the line, all five friends walk up to the ticketing booth to pay for their entry. Once there they met a familiar face..... to one of them at least.

Jaune: Mrs. Lars?!

Mrs. Lars/Casserole Mom: Jaune? Oh my gods what are you doing here?!

Jaune: Well we were gonna see a movie here, I didn’t know you worked here.

Ruby:(Mentally) ‘ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!’

Mrs. Lars: Actually I work here as a part time manager over the weekend. But it’s so funny seeing you outside of Ginger’s school. What movie are you all watching tonight?

Jaune: Well we are coming to see ‘Kill Softly part 4’, four adults and one minor.

Ren: Um Jaune. (Gestures towards Ruby and points at a sign on the glass panel)

G: All children are welcome.

PG: Children may need to bring a parent.

PG-13: No children under the age of 13 without a Parent/Guardian.

R: No children under the age of 18 without Parent/Guardian.

NC-18: No children under the age of 18. Adults only.

Jaune:(Sheepish) Uuuhhhh. Actually can you switch those tickets for three adults and two minors please.

Ruby: Huh?! (Looks at sign, smushing her face on glass) Oh come on! They have this stupid thing here too! I’m a licensed huntress and still can’t do anything! (Puffs her cheeks irritably)

Oscar: It’s not all that bad being a minor, tickets cost less. (Smiles)

Ruby: But it’s so humiliating! I worked hard to build my mature image, and I still can’t be considered a adult. (Crosses arms and pouts)

Jaune:(Pats her head while giving Mrs. Lars the lien for tickets) If it’s any consolation, I still think you’re a adult.

Ruby:(Eyes go wide and blushes lightly) Helps a little...

Mrs. Lars: Alright, here are your tickets Jaune.

Jaune: Thanks.......Wait, these are premium seats. I didn’t pay for these.

Mrs. Lars: You didn’t need to. Consider this another gift of mine that isn’t just another casserole.~ (Giggles while winking)

Ruby:(Mentally) ‘OK NOW YOU’RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE THE FLIRTING!’

Jaune: Oh! Well thanks I really appreciate it then, hope the rest of your shift goes good.

Mrs. Lars: Anytime.~

Ruby:(Grumbles)

With that all five of them move to the door and enter the cinema. Once inside they show the tickets to the a man on the podium and he promptly points the way to their marked screen room.

Jaune: So does anyone want to get any refreshments or snacks before the movie starts.

Nora: Ooo~ Movie food! I’ll have a extra large popcorn, a blue Freezi, a salted pretzel with honey mustard-

Jaune: Ok so one ‘Nora special’, got it!

Nora: Thank you fearless leader!~

Jaune: Anything you want Ren?

Ren: I’ll have some iced tea if they have.

Jaune: Got it! Anything for you Oscar.

Oscar: Mmm, I think I’ll have some Red Whips and a Dunk a Cola.

Jaune: Sure thing buddy. What about you Rubes, anything you want?

Ruby:(Whispers) A cane to beat the hussies.

Jaune: What’s that Rubes, couldn’t hear you.

Ruby:(Smilies) Oh nothing just thinking! Mmmmm. I’ll have hotdog with ketchup, a medium popcorn, and a red Freezi.

Jaune: Gotcha, well if you guys want to grab the seats I’ll get the snacks!

Oscar: Isn’t that a lot stuff to carry on your own?

Jaune: It’s alright, I’m kinda used to carrying a lot of stuff with me growing up with-

Ruby/Ren/Nora: ‘Growing up with seven sisters.’

Jaune: See now you’re getting it!

Oscar: Still, one of us should stay to help.

Ruby: I can stay! Yang usually gets me to grab the goods back when we were little so I don’t mind.

Jaune: If you want to, Ruby. I won’t stop you.

Once the group go separate ways the two leaders make their way to the concession stand. After waiting five minutes in line they finally make it to the cashier..... Who they already met before.

Jaune: MRS.LARS!

Mrs. Lars: Hey! Just got out of the registry seat so now I’m helping with concessions!

Ruby:(Mentally) ‘SERIOUSLY!’

Jaune: But you...we just saw....ok. Anyway I kinda got a long list of things hope you don’t mind.

Mrs. Lars: Oh don’t worry about that honey. It’s my pleasure!

Ruby:(Mentally) ‘I’m about to slap a bitch.’

Jaune: Ooookay. Well I will need a extra large popcorn, one blue Freezi, one pretzel with honey mustard, a churro, a box of Sour Kids, a medium unsweetened iced tea if you have, a box of Red Whips, one small sized Duke a Cola, one red Freezi, a hotdog with ketchup, a medium popcorn, and for me I’ll have a medium Spurts with a medium popcorn as well with layered butter. Did I get everything Rubes?

Ruby:(Staring blankly at Mrs. Lars) Yep that’s everything.

Mrs. Lars: Great! Just give me once sec, and I’ll be right back. (Walk to the side to start getting everything set)

Ruby stares plainly at the young mother as she works tracking her every move as a hunter stalks a deer. She looked like a fast worker, so she already looks to have half the order almost done. A mature woman with good work ethic and younghful energy, a easy guise to fool young men to fall prey to the claws of the cougar. Not while this silver eyed eagle was around.

Jaune:(Looks at her with concern) Everything ok Ruby?

Ruby:(Smiles brightly at him) Oh yeah I’m good, no need to worry about me!

Jaune: You sure? If it’s about the whole ‘minor’ thing you can talk to me you know. I’m sorry if it came across as offensive.

Ruby: Huh? Oh no! No, no, no, no, no! You don’t need to worry about that it’s not a whole big thing, I know you guys didn’t mean it so it cool!

Jaune: Mmmm. Ok, if you say so.

Mrs. Lars: Here we are!

With the short time both Ruby and Jaune talked, it seemed Mrs. Lars spent getting there order done. With exceptional timing as well.

Jaune: Wow! That was probably the quickest service I ever had.

Mrs. Lars: I do my best for all my costumers!

Ruby:(Growls silently)

Jaune: Alright so what’s my balance looking like?

Mrs. Lars: Well with all the items here it should come up to 41 Lien.

Jaune: Wait that’s it? I don’t mean to seem unappreciative, but that seems way too low a price for the things we’re getting.

Mrs. Lars:(Smiling) Oh that’s because I gave you the 30% Huntsman discount. So you saved 9 lien with your purchase. Very good deal right.

Jaune: WOW! That’s....great. Thanks Mrs. Lars.

Mrs. Lars: Oh please, enough with the Mrs. Lars, makes me feel like a old woman. Call me Daisy.

Ruby:(Mentally) ‘Great! Now I have a full name to put on your tombstone!’

Jaune: Ok, well we should probably get going, thanks for the help Mrs.- I mean, Daisy.

Daisy: My pleasure Jaune.~ Enjoy the movie.

With this, both leaders make their way towards the cinema room for the movie and once inside they find Nora, Ren and Oscar sitting in the marked premium seating. Slowly walking up the stairs Jaune moves past the other guests to reach his team. Once making it to them he gives out the snacks and beverages they asked for. Meanwhile Ruby sits down in her assign seat with a neutral face and doesn’t seem to acknowledge anybody around her. Probably because while she is calm on the outside, her mind was brewing a storm.

Ruby:(Mentally) ‘Daisy. DAISY!!! Since when did they get on a first name basis now! It must have been at some point because I never heard Jaune call Casserole Witch by her first name. And what’s with all the ‘My Pleasure’ nonsense! It’s like she’s dropping land mines to catch him in her web of lust and perversion! Well not on her watch! No thank you Casserole Mom, but Jaune Arc is off limits!.....Even if technically he is free territory at the moment.’

Ruby looks to see Jaune almost blissfully unaware of what the temptress tried to do to him. His poor innocent, dense as a brick mind couldn’t probably detect that the single mother was trying to flirt with him.

Ruby:(Mentally) ‘Don’t worry Jaune I’m not letting that temptress get her ugly claws on you. It’s my territory she’s crossed and this reaper doesn’t share! .....Even if you’re not technically mine yet. It still stands!’

The War has begun!

[laughing-with-god]

Tribute Catalog for Quarter Quell

(This is just for me to help get faces in mind while I write part two of Quarter Quell. Trying something new for inspiration but feel free to reference if u also would like a better picture.  I was watching the casting interviews for the Hunger Games movie and it made me realize how important it is for me to visualize the kids I’m going to write about in the arena.)

District One; Luxury

(I chose Twice’s Jeongyeon and Exo’s Chanyeol because they fit the physical discription I had in mind. They both are tall, charming, self-assured and very athletically built. Coming from district one, they are very spoiled compared to other tributes given they are the wealthiest and have a good relationship with the capitol. So I wanted to pick tributes that can excude a sense of luxury and physical superiority. They both never had to suffer from food outages and have trained to not only physically succeed in the games but to also win over audiences with appealing personas. They both are very charismatic and won fans over during their interviews bc they know how it important it is to have fans to root for you during the games. It could be the difference between life and death and game makers keep track of that. Chanyeol is 18 and Jeongyeon is 17.)

District Two; Masonry, Weapon-Making (Careers)

(Joy and Jungkook also come from a wealthy and strong district so it was important to me to pick tributes that looked healthy. Both Joy and Jungkook are kinda tall and aren’t necessarily frail looking....like you can tell that they eat well and are fit. It was also important to me that they were light skinned because their district chore of masonry requires lots of indoor time and I don’t picture district two as a sunny place. It’s actually quite cold and everyone’s work requires them to be inside so I wanted their complexions to reflect that. District two is actually responsible for making the weapons the capitol uses in the games, so lots of kids from 2 know their way around most weapons. This is true with Jungkook and Joy. They also are trained with combat and basic survival skills and unlike 1, they depend more on killing others than winning over audiences. They still are not to be underestimated. Jungkook trained more than Joy but she is knowledgeable enough to be a threat. Joy is 16 and Jungkook is 18.)

District Three; Technology

(I wanted to pick tributes that can reflect the cleverness of district three but also express how unfair this game could be. Both Chenle and Sungyeon are very sweet looking and very young so it’s extra tough to see kids as innocent as them have to fend off the more blood thirsty tributes. They both are very smart but didn’t score very highly during the personal assessment because the game makers are more biased towards physical skill than smarts. Sungyeon was talkative and polite during her interview but Chenle was very nervous and had stage fright so he couldn’t answer the questions as well. Audiences find them cute but don’t take them seriously. Sungyeon is 14 and Chenle is 13.)

District Four; Fishing (Careers?)

(Exo’s Jongin and Hyorin. It was important to me that I picked tributes that were darker skinned or at least had some sort of tan. District Four’s chore of fishing along with the weather and location means that Kai and Hyorin have lots of melanin and exposure to the sun. The reason that ‘careers’ is followed by a ‘?’ is because 4 is 50/50. Two and one almost always ally up but 4 isn’t always garunteed into the career pact. But, I think they would be good career candidates for this game because both Kai and Hyorin are well built and popular. The female audience adores Kai and the male audience loves Hyorin. They scored decently in the personal assessments and both had playful/flirty attitudes during the interviews. Although Kai is the more reserved of the two. Growing up in four, they also have some better survival skills than most tributes especially if the arena is water based or tropic bc that’s closest to their home habitat. Hyorin is 17 while Kai is 16.)

District Five; Electric, Solar and Nuclear Power

(Nct Renjun and Girl’s Generation Taeyeon. I picked Renjun because I wanted some younger looking tributes and I picked Taeyeon because I admired Foxface from the original Hunger Games book and wanted to pick someone who can be like her. Side note; foxface was also from district five btw. Both Renjun and Taeyeon are kinda pale and frail looking bc lots of District five is underground and unfortunately they’re not the capitols’ favorites so food outages aren’t uncommon. Both scored rather poorly on the personal assessments and were very quiet during the interviews. It’s suspected that they’re smart because most people from District Five are but if they are then they’re playing that very close to the chest. Taeyeon is 16 while Renjun is 12.). 

District Six; Transportation

(Exo’s Sehun and Red Velvet’s irene.  y’all know my sehun biased ass was gonna drop him in here somewhere.  Sadly, I don’t know much about district six other than the people aren’t fond of traveling and the district has a problem with its’ citizens being addicted to morphling.  However, taehyung mentioned to look out for the guy from 6 because he was one of the few who can hold his own in the wrestling station.  It is also suspected that district six may have an alliance with each other because Sehun and irene stuck together during all the training days and conversed with each other often.  Sehun scored well on the personal test while irene did poorly, most likely due to her petite figure and lack of strength.  Their interviews were bland bc both of them are very quiet but they do have a decent fanbase due to their good looks.  Sehun and Irene are both 16.)

District Seven; Lumber

(Got7′s Yugyeom and blackpink’s Jennie.  I picked Yugyeom because he’s very tall and broad which makes sense because their district is known for lumber so I picture him cutting down trees often.  Jennie is also someone who shouldn’t be underestimated, she is mentioned in Quarter Quell for being ‘athletic, agile, well-fed and flew through the rope course as if it was a walk in the park.’   Both scored decently but Jennie scored a point higher than him.  Their interviews revealed him to be the more lively of the two while she was very reserved and had a general attitude of not wanting to be there.  Yuqyeom is 15 while Jennie is 18.)

District 8; Textiles

(Jackson Wang and Amber Liu.  Not much is known about them.  Like 6, they also keep to themselves and may have an alliance with each other.  They both had average scores for their personal assessments but Taehyung mentioned in Quarter Quell that he suspects the boy from 8 being a potential threat but laying low.  Their interviews were surprisingly funny and the host Declan even joked that there must be something in district 8‘s water that make them so entertaining.  Jackson is 17 and Amber is 15.)

District 9; Grain

(District 9 is in charge of grain and is described as having fields upon fields of wheat.  For this reason, I wanted to pick tributes who are a bit darker for the purpose of expressing how long they may have spent outside working the fields.  I know Tzuyu isn’t that dark but in my fic I picture her tanner.  They both aren’t very talkative or aggressive during the training and scored low during their assessment tests.  I also picture them on the more skinny side because 9 gets food shortages often.  Tzuyu is 15 and Woojin is 16.)

District 11; Agriculture

(Bambam and Lisa.  I also may or may not think they’re cute and look good together but that’s neither here nor there.  They both are rather thin which is important because 11 is one of the least liked districts from the capitol so they don’t get as much food as others.  They also have some color to them which is important because their chore is required to be outside farming.  Both Bambam and Lisa scored okay during their tests and have decent interviews, they seem rather nice and passive and it’s suspected that they might be allied with each other.  Their strategy might be to hide until the games are over because they aren’t very blessed physically, haven’t spoken to other tributes and were seen most often at the camouflage station.  Lisa is 16 and Bambam is 17.)

District 12; Mining

(Chaeyeong and Johnny Seo.  District 12 never wins the games so they are kinda the ones with the least amount of hope.  Both of them are also very thin and pale due to the mining industry of being underground and having very little food.  She scored poorly but Johnny did slightly better than Chaeyeong.  Johnny is one of the most promising tributes 12 has had in a while because he is somewhat strong and has good survival skills from living in the seam of the district.  But still, he isn’t as trained and ruthless as the careers so it would be an uphill battle for him.  Their interviews were short and uneventful, Chaeyeong was too nervous to really shine while Johnny was a bit blunt and rude because of his hatred for the capitol people and their sick sense of entertainment.  He is 16 and she is 14.)

[purplesurveys]

671

So my school is indefinitely shifting to online classes starting this week and we aren’t having class again until April because of the coronavirus. Wild times.  Do you watch really old tv shows or movies from the 1970’s or earlier? Not shows, but movies. Gab introduced me to the Golden Age of Hollywood, and it’s really how we became close friends in the first place. It started with Breakfast at Tiffany’s, then Gone with the Wind, then Mildred Pierce, Waterloo Bridge...then it just kinda snowballed from there. I am a fan of a certain old show, but it ran from the mid-1980s to the early 90s – Perfect Strangers. Who’s your celebrity crush(es)? My top 3 would be Kristen Stewart, Hayley Williams, and Beyonce. I don’t like leaving any one of them out haha. What do you think of fake people? Sometimes you gotta do it, dude. Sometimes it’s not about being fake, it’s being polite and civil. What I do have a problem with is being two-faced with people who genuinely see you as a trusted friend. Whats a song you absolutely hate? I can’t fucking stand Demi Lovato’s new ballad, the one that starts off with “I tried to talk to my piano...” I also can’t stand most Halsey songs because of her voice. Ever been to a rave? Nah. I’ve always preferred parties, but I’m not opposed to trying out a rave at least just once. 

Are you afraid to name the person you talk the most shit about? Lmao not at all, but only because this Tumblr is private anyway. Patrice. I’d be a little more hesitant if this had a bit of an audience, though. Are you a jealous person? Not really jealous. I’d say envious is more fitting for me. Who do you text the most out of your friends? My girlfriend, def. I message everyone the equal amount on Messenger though because it’s where everyone is. Song playing right now? I don’t feel like listening to music right now. I do have Gabie on video call though, so some sounds on her end serve as background noise at the moment. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? A few times. The weirdest interaction was when a masseuse for my mom came over one evening – and she’s supposed to be a psychic or recognize the supernatural or whatever – and she asked me if I was currently pregnant. Are you really interested in the lives of celebrities like Miley Cyrus?
 I’m not invested but if I come across an article, I’d take a few minutes to read. I wouldn’t voluntarily go to gossip websites or buy celebrity magazines though. What would you do if you saw a complete stranger dealing drugs in public?
 Probably wouldn’t do anything as I don’t wanna be entangled in shady businesses like that. If you don’t have to be up by a certain time, do you like to sleep in as late as possible?
 Sleeping in sounds wonderful, but my body generally doesn’t allow me to. I’m usually fully awake by 8 or 9. What did you buy the last time you went clothes shopping?
 I got two of the same Filipiniana-inspired tops but in different colors, one yellow and one black. How many books do you think you read in a month?
 Zero. Not really a secret on this blog anymore but I don’t read much, ha. How often do you play video games? What are some of your favourites?
 Uhhhh not a lot. I never did get the hang of video games so you will only ever see me playing easy and kiddie ones lmao, like Mario Kart. I tried playing Resident Evil on my own once, couldn’t get through the literal first and easiest mission because I kept dying. Anyway, my favorite may have to be GTA San Andreas - lots of memories with that baby, even though I did always just watch my cousins and dad do all the video gaming. What are a few things that get on your nerves when it comes to Facebook (or your social networking site of choice)?
 Boomers sharing pubmats with awful layout/graphics, boomers sharing daily Bible verses, and boomers being stubborn about fake news. Do you keep a hand-written journal or diary?
 I used to. But Tumblr’s served as my diary for the last seven or so years now, too. What are three things you’ve started to like lately? BOJACK HORSEMAN, the Cold Brew Malt drink from Starbucks Reserve, and the electric fan we have in the living room that I’ve always found to be too loud and too cold/strong – now that the weather’s beginning to feel warm again, that fan’s been a damn blessing. What was the last reason for having butterflies in your stomach?
 Gab requested we video-call tonight because we haven’t seen each other in a while due to the virus outbreak – I hate hate hate video calls and never do them even with her, but because she asked and because she genuinely wanted to, I said yes. If you live with your parents, do you spend a lot of time with them? If you don’t, how often do you go home to visit them?
 I live with them. I don’t really spend time with them as I like having my own space. Having them under the same roof is enough for me. Do you need a lot of space in relationships, or are you happy to spend a lot of time with your SO?
 I can be pretty clingy so I tend to be the latter, but I’ll also want my space sometimes. What was the last thing you cooked from scratch? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Have you ever won anything from those games in arcades?
 We’ve hit the jackpot in some arcade games that awarded us the maximum number of tickets those games can give, but afaik we’ve never spent our saved points on big prizes. We just like to keep accumulating the points haha. When was the last time you went out to a fair?
 First day of February. Came back for my high school’s fair. How far is the nearest zoo or wildlife park from your house? Do you go often?
 I’d say the nearest ‘zoo’ is the eco-park in my school. It’s up a mountain but it’s a pretty quick drive, only takes about 15-20 minutes to get there. And nah dude, I haven’t been there since high school. What are you wearing at the moment? Is it for any particular reason? A tank and a pair of shorts. Do you have anything interesting planned over the next few days?
 Ugh no. This virus is making us stay home for THE NEXT MONTH. Hoping I don’t go crazy. What do you do when you can’t get to sleep?
 I watch something on YouTube or Netflix, or I browse Reddit. Super effective. Are you a morning person? Or does it take you a long time to wake up properly? Am a morning person. I was kinda forced to be ever since I was 4, considering I lived relatively far from my school which meant that the school bus always had to pick me up way earlier than the other kids. In the 14 years I spent in my alma mater I had to wake up at 5 AM every single day, which can easily explain why I’ve never been able to properly sleep in. How old is your oldest living relative?
 I’m pretty sure I still have a living paternal great-grandparent. Not sure about their age, though. Are either one of your parents retired? If not, what do they do for a living?
 My mom is a confidential secretary at a hotel. My dad is an executive sous chef. Do you buy a lot of DVD’s, or do you tend to just watch everything online for free?
 We used to buy DVDs; we had multiple racks back then. But time is obviously a-changing so I watch everything online now, either through Netflix or through sites that illegally stream movies haha. Could you happily spend the day in your pajamas? Or do you prefer to be out and about doing things?
 I’d rather be out and do stuff. Spending the day at home doing nothing can be pretty daunting and claustrophobic. When was the last time you were in a hospital, and what was the reason?
 2010, when I had to be admitted for a low platelet count. Does everyone in your household own their own computer? My mom and brother don’t have one. Do you find that your feet get unusually hot at night sometimes? No, this has never happened to me before.

[ngfics]

Natural Instinct - scene

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As far as second lives went it wasn't that bad.

"Jana?" mother of this body called. "Could you wash the dishes?"

She called back in affirmative before fishing for a bookmark to mark the page. Jana rushed to the kitchen ruffling the hair of her two younger sisters before getting to work.

When she was young, in her previous life, she loved washing dishes by hand; a silly tradition really and one she hated doing in the winter because back in her previous life there was no hot water in the kitchen. Here there were no such setbacks.

That made her cry sometimes.

The Sable family lived in a small village named Plume; on a Summer Island called Hook Island, Grand Line, Paradise.

First time she learned of this Jana had been torn between laughter and sobbing, not that she could be blamed for that, knowing the dangers of the world she was born in.

Clinking of the plates calmed her, smell of detergent made her focus on her work; but her mind did drift into slight introspection as these were all practiced movements. There was plenty to wash, their family ran an Inn - or rather her grandmother ran an Inn and the rest of the family just happened to live here.

This was one of grandmother’s grumbling complaints, so Jana had little issue lending a hand.

When she realized where she was, at age of three, she threw herself into reading any book she could reach. She considered herself very lucky to be born as a nobody and far away from the plot as possible; but she knew it might not stay that simple.

What if one of the more horrid pirate crews anchored here? what if pirates attacked her village? what if Marines decided to kill her entire island off?

What if, what if.

There was a myriad of possibilities that could end their peaceful lives here.

Gol D. Roger was executed when she was three, which left her quite some time until plot happened, assuming she didn't die before then, due to whatever. After all the main plot is not all there is.

One thing that she was certain of was that no one could know of the knowledge she possessed. It would place her family in danger, an entire world in danger, should there exist a person whose Devil Fruit could read minds.

Jana wanted to take no chances.

Best way to confuse a mind reader, who probably wouldn't be looking for any information under 'reincarnation' was to hoard huge amounts of knowledge. That was Jana’s take on the issue.

Little bits and pieces that would become credible clues to things she knew from before. Just so that a possible mind reader - and it was quite possible such a Devil Fruit existed - would consider her an investigator rather than an outsider with knowledge of the future.

She unplugged the sink and watched the soapy water drain away. Jana knew her parents were worried that she had no aspirations outside of reading and training her dog.

She smiled as she dried the plates.

How happy they were that she finally had a friend of sorts. Even if it was an animal. Jana had never been able to connect to her older sisters, not in the way sister's might; as she treated all four, both the younger and the older set of twins, as children.

Which they were, but being a young girl in body made it seem weird to others even if Jana was mentally thirty, twenty three years older than her body.

As soon as she was done she called to her grandmother that she was going out and grabbed her book again. "Jana!" her mother called out before she could disappear. "Don't forget to clean your room if you want to go with your father tomorrow!"

"I won't!" a rare grin spread across her face. She loved going with her father to the bigger city. A city that reminded her of her past life with it's tall buildings and numerous roads. No cars unfortunately, but still nostalgic. Jana loved to explore while her father did his work for the building company.

As an architect in a city like that he had no shortage of work; more than in their village of course, as pirates were more prone to anchoring and destroying in bigger cities.

While she did get in trouble sometimes, Jana was usually fast and nimble enough to escape and drunkards and delinquents that wanted to harm her.

After one incident which granted her a cut on her upper arm she made sure to run every morning if only to build up stamina.

This payed off in the busy streets of Lissel City where she learned to weave in and out of crowds with impressive speed, and manage to get back to her father unharmed every time since.

There were some of her father's friends that taught her how to punch properly once she returned with a black eye, courtesy of a fisherman's son who wanted to rip her book (he looked worse).

Her parents might have been worried that she would become a delinquent or a criminal, but her sisters pitched in with evidence that most kids in their nearby school were just jealous of Jana's smarts. After the elder twin's pleading she was left alone about any scrapes she gained, and if her father encouraged her to learn some self-defense and her grandmother looked suspiciously proud that was another matter entirely.

It was after the incident with Marines that her father encouraged her to broaden her physical training.

Jana didn't trust Marines, not by a long shot.

Mostly due to the fact that she was privy to their dirty secrets than anything else. Logically she knew there were good and bad Marines, in relation to civilian populace, just as there were many types of Pirates no matter what World Government said.

It was due to this that she gave Marines she encountered a benefit of doubt.

That was her first mistake.

Honestly, though, she knew there were some brutes out there, but to physically attack a seven year old was over the top. She didn't even bump into them or anything and being addressed as 'Hey you' didn't really clue her in that they were talking to her.

Jana returned home with a broken arm and an angry expression. Her parents panicked in short order, but only looked resigned when she said that it was the Marines.

That was the day she learned that her grandfather had been a pirate.

She also learned that Marines looked for any excuse to bring their family down. Villagers around here didn't like the Marines either, especially since they knew the Sable family and had no issue over long dead pirate relative. It was a small town, a close knit community.

Even if they had issues with each other, they had more beef with the Government.

Marines excused this as prevention. Keeping an eye on them in case any of them decided to turn pirate. Her parents' worry over her injuries looked to gain more weight with every moment.

It was the city dwellers who helped her once they heard her scream out from the pain; they escorted her back home after filing a complaint against the Marines. Her parents thanked them, but didn't expect it to go though, these things never did they said.

It was the first time they inflicted a serious bodily injury to a member of the family and her father worried that it might escalate.

That was the reason he introduced a broader training routine into Jana's schedule. Her elder sisters used to have their own when they were her age, but they were also less prone to getting in trouble.

Jana thought that this was the issue of her mental and physical age difference because she tended to mis-estimate danger.

It happened many times, but it was this time that she didn't manage to escape. Not that Jana made any mention of those previous times, not wanting to worry anyone, but it was this time that such an error was brought to her attention violently.

Three months passed since then. During the first month Jana shied away from people more than ever and her family fretted that her trust in people was broken irreparably.

What they didn't realize that it was her trust in herself that had been broken.

Jana grew more and more uncertain of her own knowledge of people, interactions and emotions.

Because, why couldn't she read the situation that time-why couldn't she see?!

It was Luca, her dog, who saved her. It was him who really saved her. Her family saw him bring her out of her shell, but they didn't see the whole picture.

Jana learned quickly that Luca was a good judge of character, he could smell it, sense it, whatever it was that he could do; he could definitely tell people's intentions. Jana let him take the wheel.

Everywhere she went Luca followed and Jana took cues from him.

From his slanted ears, bristling fur, bared teeth or low growls. She attuned herself and her observations according to him and pulled through.

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Fic Masterlist

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