#this is so word of hashem guys

[doyouknowthisjewishcharacter]

Do you know this Jewish character?

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

I'm gonna be honest here: one of the more exhausting parts of the online discourse is how much of a tightrope I am always on, that those of us who care about human rights for all human beings are always on, because any statement made in favor of the "other" side is ripe for tokenism.

I, as a Jew, care about the safety and human rights of Palestinians and Arab Israelis. You will never convince me that there is an ethical way to kill civilians, especially children. You will never convince me that police brutality against citizens marching for their civil rights is necessary. You just can't. And yet I have to be so careful when/where I say that and how I say that, because too often this simple acknowledgement that all people are created in the image of Hashem and should be treated accordingly is ripped out of context and placed between a deluge of other posts denying my people that very same acknowledgement. The number of times I have said these things, only to go into the reblogs and see my words surrounded on all sides with violent antisemitism? I've lost count.

And guess what? It's made me less effective as an advocate, it has actively silenced me from speaking up sometimes, because I refuse to be your "good Jew," your token, somebody whose words can be misconstrued to kasher your vile hatred of my people. And to be very clear: Jewish Israelis are my people just as much as fellow diaspora yidden are, and they deserve better from both goyim and diaspora Jews alike.

And I've seen this go the other way, too: I've seen Palestinian activists and journalists who are trying very hard to balance the values of respecting other people (including Israelis and/or Jews writ large) as fellow human beings with the pain that their people are currently suffering. And I've seen their words ripped out of context and used to excuse more violence against them and their people.

And then there are lots of other people - genuinely well-intentioned people who are trying to learn from me - who keep treating me like I'm some paragon of nuance. I'm trying, truly, but I'm Just Some Guy. You know what I do? It's extremely simple and I promise you can do it too, any of you, if you slow down long enough to think before putting anything out there: "Would I say this about my brother? My mom? My daughter? My people? Would I be happy if the person I loved most on this earth was living under these circumstances and being talked about in whatever way I'm about to speak? Would it feel victim-blaming? Would it feel disrespectful of their struggle or dishonest? Does it ignore their history or trauma? Is it actually helping?" These are the types of questions I try very hard to ask myself every time I post about the conflict, about both sides. I try to talk about this as if the people on both sides were my family. Because truthfully? They are. Am Yisrael is a family, before anything else. Palestinians are our closest cousins. This war is a bloodbath and a tragedy, and everyone is suffering. For those of us who are not living there, please remember this and have some respect.

[alostwanderernotfound]

On the 10 Commandments:

——-

The Fourth Commandment Explained

———————

People often still debate the meaning of what God’s Commandments are after the numerous translations. The Orthodox Jewish Bible actually contains the transcript of that speech I gave that day in Shemot 20.

And in my own words: If you do not hold anything else, hold & speak my commandments. Let us review the originals as they were intended- the speech with the teaching summary. Any & all attempts to do harm and/or cause suffering by bypassing the Commandments with “loopholes” will be considered with harsh penalty.

“Remember Yom HaShabbos, to keep it kodesh. Sheshet yamim shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: But the Yom HaShevi’i is the Shabbos of Hashem Eloheicha; in it thou shalt not do any melachah, thou, nor thy ben, nor thy bat, thy eved, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy ger that is within thy gates; For in sheshet yamim Hashem made Shomayim and Ha’Aretz, the yam, and all that in them is, and rested Yom HaShevi’i; for this reason Hashem blessed Yom HaShabbos, and set it apart as kodesh.”

‭‭Shemot‬ ‭20‬:‭8‬-‭11‬ ‭TOJB2011‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/130/exo.20.8-11.TOJB2011

Keep at least one good day or Sabbath “set aside” or spiritually different than your other days of the week. Spirituality can mean many things, but ultimately there is an underlying belief that “lifting the soul” or caring for that intangible part of yourself is essential. The intangible is often our intuitions, our feelings, our connectedness to ourselves & the universe & just like how we see that expressed in so many different way across a variety of cultures, Christianity as a practice can also be expressed that way.

You must dedicate at a minimum 1 day out of 7 to rest & having a focus on practices to lift the soul. Your community, anyone that even steps foot near your land as a guest, & those that work with and/or for you must also do the same. That can mean a lot of different practices & not always necessarily the practice of going to church, but ultimately it’s a focus on practices that nourish your soul. God wants you to take care of yourself.

You can find other versions/passages talk about punishment for not holding Sabbath in reverence, but that is for more specific situations. For example, If you claim yourself to be of this God, benefit, and then exploit people by making them work everyday without any rest you will be sinful in God’s eyes.

You have to remember Christianity back when it first was being introduced to people was INCREDIBLY radical in comparison to the way countries were run, the concept of kingship, & it also advocated for the abolishment of slavery.

Many commonly held interpretations of a variety of Christian practices & teachings are a result of the original documents being censored & altered by kings, empires & politics.

It originally was perceived as a disruptive force because it didn’t ask for equality, it demanded it in a tenuous time period of geopolitical instability.

Moses was known as the guy who had freed a bunch of slaves. You really think the political forces that existed during that time frame were really just going to let a “criminal” get up on a public platform & say whatever they want with the risk of him causing more slave uprisings?

Absolutely not. And it changed the world forever.

[david-goldrock]

A song I think anti-capitalist Tumblr is going to like

The following song is based on a real story

One day an ad producer called me

Hello?

The name isn't important

And told me about a product relating to fruits

What is its name?

The name isn't important

He said "write us a banger like your song"

What song?

Well the name isn't important

This is how they talk, these guys they do not have a god (hebrew expression meaning a person who doesn't have a sense of morality or fairness)

Hashem isn't important (hashem: hebrew expression meaning god, also "the name")

I hung up

He called again

Said "we'll film it abroad Jumbo"

Eh... it's Jimbo

I felt my spine becoming flexible

For you, it's a very good exposure

Well, let's leave the exposing for Ilana Dayan (A famous news anchor with a show exposing secrets)

And we'll pay you

I can't be bought

6 Figures

SIX?!

There are some who call it just selling out

And there are some who say it's a mitzvah to take a coupon

There are those who don't even have the privilege to let it go

There are some who go for it and don't care what people say

There are some who call it the beginning of the end

And some who say that it is for the family

That producer just wanted a catchy song so that's what came out

The fruits of success

In a week we had a banger

An atmosphere of breaking the piggy-bank

More trash than kardash (short for kardashian)

Distorting like slash (This entire segment showes Jimbo's flexing, because he is a hebrew puritan, and uses english based words here)

More catchy than "press on the 5" by direct insurance

I sent him the song, I felt the laughter beginning to roll

I packed a suitcase, tried on a bathing-suit

And then the phone rang

Jumbo, there are no fruits in the song!

What? Apharsemony Mushonov, Levi Eshkol of grapes? (Mony mushonov is a celeb, Apharsemon means Persimmon, Levi Eshkol is the name of an Israeli Prime Minister, Eshkol means cluster)

You are talking Trigonometry B

My audience thinks in single digits

What happened what happened what happened, did you forget how to write?

Hear, I am coming to this with an open mind

And?

But I have principles as well, ha?

Principles? It's a matter of wording

There are some who call it just selling out

And there are some who say it's a mitzvah to take a coupon

There are those who don't even have the privilege to let it go

There are some who go for it and don't care what people say

There are some who call it the beginning of the end

And some who say that it is for the family

That producer just wanted a catchy song so that's what came out

The fruits of success

There are no fruits and no hadar (both citrus and splendor) in a sugar drink

That splendors itself with the title "Orange flavored" (In Israel, if a product contains 100% orange it can be called juice, if it contains at least 25% it can be called orange nectar, and anything less is orange flavored)

And there are pills that are too bitter, even with the sweeteners

And yes today I raise a shot of juice for all of those winners

Who prefer Lehachmitz (both "to miss on" and "to sour") a supposedly sweet opportunity

Than Lehachmitz their face

[voidingintotheshout]

I’d like to wish Jummah Mubarak to all of my Muslim friends and Shabbat shalom to all of my Jewish friends, and also include my favorite surah from the Quran since I had it on my phone anyway and I wanted to give you guys something extra. Hope that’s OK. If you don’t want that, feel free to not read it, but it just always seemed really great thing to keep in mind when having tough times. If it matters, it was revealed to the prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, when he had not had a revelation from HaShem/Allah for a while, and was starting to lose hope. 

[I would’ve included something from the Torah, but I know that in Judaism, there is specific verses and commentaries that Jews have to, or are encouraged to read every week, and I don’t know what those are, and I have to go. Feel free to add.] 

Also, a shout out to the half dozen people following me for hot guy, photos and weight related stuff who are surprised to find out that I am a Muslim. Hi all! 

I felt a little bad that I didn’t have anything for the Jewish community that has tagged here so I thought I would share this picture above. So the mosque that I am praying at started its life as a synagogue, and then the Jewish community in the neighborhood dispersed, and it became a church and then that community dispersed and now it’s a mosque. However, there is this little door that was for collecting charitable donations back when it was a synagogue. I’m relatively certain that this is a brass container for collecting charitable donations, because that’s basically the Islamic word for charity (Sadaqah). Islam must’ve gotten the word from Judaism. 

[judaismandsuch]

A Brilliant Biblical Commentary that I can't Believe

Now, as many of you may know Humanity/ Man is Created twice in Breishit (Genisis) the First time in Breishit 1:27: "And G-d created man in His image....male and female He Created them."

The Second time in Breishit 2:7, and finished in 2:22: "...[G-d] formed man from the dust of the earth.....and Man became a living being." "[HaShem] fashioned the rib He took from man into a woman." (obv a bunch of stuff happens between verse 7 and 22).

Now important notes: 1)There is a lot of established commentary on all of this, but that means there is too much to succinctly summaries other views, so if you are curious about the established interpretations for all this look it up yourself. 2) All the garden of Eden stuff is a cohesive story in chapter 2-3, not mentioned at all in relation to the first creation.

Anyways there is a lot of explanation and reconciiation of these verses, as it is troubling the HaShem would describe the creation of humanity twice, and the stories be very different. There are answers, brilliant ones, bad ones, etc. But I believe I am the first to have this response.

So... it is indeed troubling, until you look a few chapters later, specifically chapter 6.

Now between chapter 2 and 6 a bunch of stuff happens: The garden of Eden, Cain and Abel. Cain taking a wife. The First city builder, the first smiths, the first tent dwellers (more accuaretly the specific ancestor of those, but w/e). The descendents of Cain and Seth, the subtle decrease in life span, etc.

Now aside from the general "Wow this is bullshit, it human civilization didn't progress in that manner." or "Humanity never had a lifespan that long!" Bad faith arguments, you run into an issue.

Who the fuck are they marrying? Hell, it's implied that there are other humans around when Cain kills Abel, where did those guys come from?

Again, loads of commentary but here we are going to my tying all this together:

Chapter 6: The Children of G-d and the Nephilim. 6:2: "The children of G-d saw how beautiful the daughters of Man (or humanity) were, and took wives from among those that pleased them." 6:4:"It was then that the Nephilim (lit. the fallen) appeared on earth when the children of G-d cohabited with the daughters of Man who bore them offspring, they were the Heroes of Old, Men of Great renown."

Now, this has it's own issues, mainly: What the fuck? Who are the children of G-d? Who are the fallen (Nephilim)? And who the hell are the Heroes of Old?

Again, loads of answers for all that already. (BTW, in Numbers/Bamidbar 13:33 Nephilim are mentioned again. by the spies, who use the word to mean 'giant', since that is a quotation of a human speaking, whereas this is not, I can safely ignore "Nephilim means giant" in my exegesis).

Now my commentary (though clever you, you may have already put it together!)

We already have fallen children of G-d mentioned: Adam and Eve. Them getting kicked out of the Garden of Eden can definitely be considered 'Falling'.

And if we consider that there were two separate 'Humans' those in the Garden (Adam and Eve), and those outside from chapter one, we get the answer to who Cain and Seth are marrying.

And then, from Adam's line we get a list of Great Humans: The City Builder, The Smith, The Musician. They could definitely be considered the heroes of old.

Are there issues with this explanation? A couple, none (scripturally) too challenging. Is this explanation original? As far as I know: Yes. But that may just mean my research is garbage.

But the biggest problem with this explanation?

It DEMANDS a fully literal acceptance of that portion of Breishit. If HaShem intended for it to be metaphorical, or a pat explanation b/c creation wasn't important, why would there be an interlock of the two stories?

There wouldn't be.

And I am NOT a (full) biblical literalist. (I do believe that one has to be within a small margin of error a biblical literalist from Avraham to the end of the Torah for Judaism to have validity).

So I have this beautiful, pat, explanation that I can't believe.

Terribly Annoying.

[queer-shedim]

Hi, I'm Luka, and this is my story.

If you're confused, it's because I was Oli when this happened and have changed my name.

Since my story came up, I wanted to post my perspective. Please please message me if you have questions or comments. I am willing to have calm conversations about nearly anything.

Never once did I think this had anything to do with me being queer.

This was simply a difference in beliefs that got well out of hand.

One of the reasons I fell in love with Judaism is the openness to discussion. The draw of the concept of the Talmud was groundbreaking in my little universe where my own family exorcised me and kicked me out of Sunday School for asking too many questions.

I admit I did wrong in this as well. I looked up to her and really wanted to be able to learn from her. I understand it is not her job to educate me, and I would have respected her saying she didn't want to discuss. And I would have respected her not engaging in my discussions.

I am not proud of my reaction, but I stand by standing up for myself. I am the proud owner of family heirlooms and I do not view my display of them as religious. Bringing greenery and lights into the home during a cold, dark winter is a non-religious (ad it predates modern religion) tradition of my German heritage to bring joy and warmth into the home.

My great grandmother hand made a miniature pine tree and all of the tiny ornaments she made herself. It was the first thing my grandmother gave to me when I moved out.

The other is a memorial ornament of my grandfather who died in 2020.

The discussion began with me asking for others to offer opinions on leveling with my history and my new religion during my first winter of study. I was open to hearing others thoughts. I wanted a discussion.

I did not expect someone to take my comment(s) in such bad faith or to tell me that (not word for word, but it seemed to be the vibe) even considering keeping these things means I'm not Jewish enough.

My Judaism is between me, my rabbi, and Hashem.

And we spent a lot of time talking about this after temple, and we came to our own conclusion. But understanding other forms and beliefs of and in Judaism is extremely important to the culture and study of the life I am actively choosing. Other people deserve and are entitled to their own system of beliefs.

I had questions. I asked this group specifically to hear their more conservative takes on the matter. I'm converting into reform and often feel it's not observant enough. My partner is reform, my temple is reform, so I wanted to get other views. Again, it is not anyone's job to teach me just because they're Jewish. Which is likely why there was very little response to most of my inquiries and is very understandable.

In summary:

- i miss you guys

- I'm am very sorry, though I have been told my many that I shouldn't be apologizing. I do think this particular situation was (at minimum) partially my fault

- She was supposed to be on hiatus. She had other things happening in her life and the misinterpretation of my statement must have been a straw to break the camels back and for that I am sorry.

- I'm extremely sad that I am not the only person who has had an experience like this with her.

- I've wanted to work this out for a long time.

[actuallyanansi]

Do all of them except you switch two answers and don't say which ones

ask and ye shall receive

Yellow: i want to live somewhere with decent public transportation, a large public library, and an international airport nearby, ideally with few cops and fewer natural disasters.

Orange: when i'm not in bed, i usually want to be in bed. when i am in bed, i usually want to still be in bed, but at a nice hotel.

Lilac: my dream is to be in an unfamiliar city with striking features, good food, and a long history, alone, with an internet connection and enough english or french to get by. barring that, a beach resort is fine.

Beige: picture it: two guys, curly hair, perfect smiles, and i was making out with both of them surrounded by soft white linens. people kept walking through the background and interrupting, but they never stayed too long.

White: he was a vegan jock i met sophomore year on a local campus app, and his roommate had just moved out. because i lived at home, way off campus, and never hung out with anyone, our hookup was the first time i had actually seen a dorm room at the college i attended. i remember vividly that his mouth tasted like wet dirt, and i lied to my parents about where i was a lot over the week we spent together—not because it really mattered, but because i could. our whatever we had ended...poorly, but what a rush those first few days were. after he ghosted me, i downloaded grindr.

Purple: he was almost miraculously kind (and also very cute), he took my concerns about covid safety seriously, he bought me dinner on j*ff b*zos' dime, and he let me subject him to the incredible pinoy drama gaya sa pelikula (the best limited television series of 2020, argue with your mother). we still talk daily, and i'm so thankful i met him ☺️

Tangerine: physically, i don't have much of a type. i tend to like guys who are grounded and even-keeled, but interesting enough to keep up with me in conversation. guys who can translate those conversations into making out on the couch. guys with rich inner lives who enjoy my attention without needing it, who enjoy giving me attention in a way that isn't just compulsive. guys who are smart when i am stupid

Gray: he was kinda dumb and probably toxic, and i tell myself i didn't know better at the time, but i did! he also gave me strep 💜 (and i still went back 💜)

Green: i was in the car with my aunt and my dad. he was driving us home from visiting nana in hospice. there was a rainbow over I-75 that lasted for miles. they discussed the details of her car insurance, the will we couldn't find, how my uncle, my dad's twin brother, was supposed to inherit her little house. we were still pretending to hope she would wake up; we were no longer pretending to hope she would wake up. my dad pulled off the highway to stop at a wendy's. we had gone without food for most of the day. the three of us ate in the car and spent a few minutes talking about the new strawberry frosty. my aunt had used a coupon to get hers for free. at some point, we kept driving. there was nothing left to talk about. the rainbow was gone by then.

Gold: he was a friend of a friend, and we spent a few weeks carefully circling the elephant in the room before we finally admitted we were into each other. it was extremely goofy how long it took us to work up the courage to even kiss, but i also don’t regret it. he was a sweetheart, and it’s hard not to think back on it fondly ☺️

Black: as a child, for some reason i knew how to pronounce the word nazi before i knew how to spell it. for some reason after i learned how it was spelled i assumed people had been pronouncing it wrong, and i tried to "correct" it while talking to my mom. the way she laughed…i will never recover, i fear 😔

Blue: i cannot remember the last time i spoke to someone i knew in elementary school. baruch hashem 💜

Magenta: around the age of eleven or twelve, i used to legitimately wonder whether my brother would grow up to meet the requirements for the antichrist, and then i'd feel intense guilt about it

Red: i write poetry against my better judgment. i read, sometimes. i watch video essays. i play piano. i cook, i bake, i listen to podcasts, i doomscroll. i start new obsessions and drop them.

Violet: bestie i didn't even plan on attending the college where i did four years of undergrad, so i'm really not pinning too much hope on any specific school in the future. that being said, i am begging all wealthy potential patrons to make grad school feasible. so mackenzie scott, if you're reading this,,

Brown: our culture puts so many expectations around traditional relationships that it's hard not to feel exhausted, and historically i'm also fairly bad at them. fwbs usually offer less risk and more reward, but also i'm trying to move beyond the idea that either of these has to look like anything in particular.

Peach: i've never taken a class from her per se, but mariame kaba has had a greater impact on my education more than just about any other individual person. as far as actual professors go, dr. jen cohen was a pretty good one, and the only econ professor i had who told the truth about how capitalism worked. (thanks for letting me sit in on your class when i wasn't really supposed to!)

Pink: anansi has such a vast mythology and is kind of an aspirational figure in a lot of ways. (not the part about being a spider.) it's about the subversion of the presupposed order of things, the capacity for gracious failure and the potential for unexpected success, the shaping of a story through its telling and retelling...

[the-firebird69]

General Howe was a loyalist and he was a British subject in this character and he's really a sicko and fiend and was on both sides a lot more than the others and it wasn't just spying he was running stuff and Dave hated him and that's JC hated him to death and he decided to start killing them because there are these boners messing everything up and it was for the empire and he still serves them by doing it and people see it what you're doing is serving them and you do it and you hate it but you do it you went down in New Zealand and you sat on it anything you getting beat and you don't even check and you can't and won't so they're bringing them down that's what they're doing and he's going to get hit tonight really bad you can see what he's doing to our son and he's allows and a loser and a moron and there's a role there for him and we use them for it and let's see in between guy and he is slated to die anyways so he's going along doing this this is him as general Howe the Americans kind of took it in the revolutionary war by defeating how and the Hessians and some others and they push them out they did go to Canada and he was in and out as a revolutionary guy and they knew who he was and they are killing his people just like they will be when he does it in the near future and the hashems do take the White House a little and that's what civil war is the movie but it's a revolutionary war and what they're saying the civil war is coming up next and it really is and the head of that is general Ulysses S Grant which is actually ken. And he goes after these idiots for the vengeance and hates them he destroys them and destroys their villages burns them to the ground kills tons of them and they are pushed out of the South and almost out of California most of the West and they hang on for a while and their island is gone and they're dead and he served his purpose he said and pull this stupid thorn out of their side that's been ruining their realm and it has so he knows about the empire too and he works on it but after this he becomes a rebel and he fights with a pseudo empire and he has minority morlock and foreigners as friends and it's true and they don't like these guys and they hate the Hessians and the French Hessian people types phones that is phones but this is Trump and his despised eventually his character dies off but there is a character up there who looks like this and who's running the maneuvers and he's a general level and he's not working formally in any way they say but he's doing the job and he is on trial and yes Trump and he is hiring people these little battles and skirmishes have started and people getting forced out of these areas in New York and they're going after his forces the timeline is hard to follow so we're going to put the other guy up and then start to make sense

Thor Freya

Olympus

Are we faded to do the same thing it looks like it I can't believe it he was telling me it sounds really weird all these words and code of theirs and you have to start breaking it for real by knowing what they're going to do and with their timeline is and he said that I do respect them for it now back then I didn't and now it's still kind of iffy but I've seen it come true and if this is I have to start to two more research

Trump

Haha

Mac daddy

Olympus

[writingwithcolor]

Gingerbread man as golem

@yaronata asked:

I would like to write a character who is Jewish and uses a Golem. She's based on the D&D class of the artificer which looks magic but isn't, because they produce all their effects with inventions, like the "any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" quote. Her story is that her very Jewish town was under attack from a terrible monster when she was little. Her Rabbis made a Golem to protect the town, and it succeeded but was torn to pieces in the process. She was fascinated by the Golem and as a kid didn't see a big difference between it's sentience and person's so was really thankful for its sacrifice like you would a person's sacrificing their life for you. They thought all the pieces had been devoured by the monster before it died, but she went looking and found the piece used to animate the Golem, which she, kinda misunderstanding called its "heart". She kept the piece and grew up to be an incredibly skilled cook, specialising as a baker in the town. I imagine she would make a lot of really good food for the Jewish holidays, or to break fasts on ones like Yom Kippur or Tish'abav. But she also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice and the town still being alive, because I feel "we are not dead woo" is a big theme for Jewish holidays from my research, so it could fit, for which she invented ginger bread men to be the golem, and gave them little "hearts" of fruit or honey, and you're meant to eat them limb by limb like the beast did before eating the heart. This would be the inspiration for using the "heart" piece later to make her own giant gingerbread Golem to help her save the world.

These are my questions 1) would it be considered bad or disrespectful for someone who isn't a Rabbi to make a Golem, or is this method of taking an animating piece someone else made disrespectful? 2) Her journey will take her far from her town and her Jewish family and friends and she will likely travel with gentiles. Would it be disrespectful for a Golem to be used to protect a lot of gentiles and one Jew in the course of saving the world? I don't want to fall into the stereotype of someone putting all their effort into valuing and protecting very specifically the group that in real life is oppressive to them. 3) While she is not using magic and is actually mimicking its effects with technology she invents, is this drawing too close to the line of "magical Jew"? 4) I like to "play test" my characters in ttrpgs to really get a feel for them before I write. Would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character when I am a gentile, and would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character in a setting where there are demonstrably real gods other than the one of Judaism?

I really like this character idea and I think it's cute and fun and rooted in Jewish culture but I really want to make sure it's respectful and as good as I, a gentile researching on the internet, thinks it is. Thanks so much! Have a nice day!

My answer to this is very complicated because there are things I both like and do not like about this premise. First of all, I love the idea of a cookie golem, and I'm even imagining the magic word that brings him to life (EMET/truth) would be written in icing. And I'm okay with the part about how she found a piece of the old golem and used it to build a new golem, because that makes sense for a golem made from a baked good when you think about how people use sourdough starter to make a new batch of sourdough.

However, here are the thing that make me cock my head to the side like my little sister's German shepherd:

1. re: "magical Jew" - that's not a trope I've ever heard of. Remember, marginalized groups don't receive identical disrespect across the board. It is indeed a trope to use Black people or disabled people as supernatural plot devices who exist only to further the stories of white main characters or able-bodied main characters. But I can't say as I've ever seen anyone using Jewishness that way. Usually if we are someone's one-dimensional plot device it's as someone's lawyer, fixer, "money guy", etc, not a supernatural force. So this isn't something you have to worry about.

2. I have a certain level of discomfort with you playing as a Jewish character just because playacting as a marginalized culture you're not part of strikes me as off, but I understand that that's how you gain insight into a character you're about to write so it's more of a writing exercise than anything else. (I wonder if D&D regulars from marginalized groups have written about this -- I've only played a few times casually with family so if I did run into this type of discussion in my social justice reading I wouldn't have absorbed it. If anyone is curious I played first as Captain Werewolf, and then switched to playing as Cinnamon Blade because lawful good was too hard. :P )

3. I would prefer you omit the detail about eating the cookies piece by piece symbolically, for two reasons: a. it unintentionally evokes Communion by having appreciative people consume a baked good symbolic of an entity who sacrificed his life for theirs, and b. focusing on the details of flesh consumption reminds me too much of Blood Libel (yes, a gingerbread man is in the shape of a person but how many of us actually think about it literally, the way this act would cause?)

As to your first question: I'm fine with her making a golem even though she's just a rando. Second question: I see what you're saying and maybe it could be more okay if it's really clear how well these gentile folks are treating her? And questions three and four are answered above.

I really do love the idea of a giant gingerbread man golem. Cookie golem T_T <3

--Shira

I would like to second Shira’s point about not ripping apart the gingerbread cookies. I honestly would prefer they were used as decoration, and other cookies eaten instead, since that part just feels so not-Jewish to me, but I don’t have golem-specific issues other than that. It seems like you have already been doing a lot of research, which is appreciated.

As far as the ttrpg/DnD aspect… I bounce back and forth on the topic of playing characters that are so very different from our experiences, other than in fantasy-related ways. However, I am aware that a lot of people will play with, and experiment with gender in game, and learn something about themselves in the process (the number of trans players of ttrpgs who tried out their gender in game before they were out is high). It’s different with Judaism, and even more significantly different when it comes to things you can’t convert into, like various actual, real-world races. But because people do sometimes experience growth from experiences like this, I’m hesitant to dissuade players completely. I do urge you to, at a minimum, bring the same care, research, and willingness to learn, that you brought to this question.

--Dierdra

This sounds like a creative storyline that you could have lots of fun with 😊

At first I was confused by this part:

She also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice

But then you really got me thinking about different types of Jewish holidays and how they come about, so thank you for that!

Because it’s often the little details that either make a story super powerful or kind of nonsensical, I think it would be a good idea to decide what type of holiday is being created here:

A full-blown chag with restrictions on labour and halachic obligations? These are commanded in Torah and new ones can’t be added.

A minor yom tov with halachic obligations but no restrictions? These were instituted by the rabbis prior to the destruction of the Temple, so again new ones can’t be added.

A public holiday or equivalent? This would usually be declared by the Knesset in Israel, and filter to the rest of the Jewish world from there.

A community-based yom tov with specific customs only for people in the know, such as certain Chasidic groups celebrating the birthdays of their deceased leaders? I asked around, but no one can really tell me how these holidays get started, which is probably a good indication that they arise quite organically from a group of people who all just feel that it should be celebrated. Probably not created by a single person, as such.

Something she runs from her bakery, not religion-based, but more like a day of doing special products and deals the way many small businesses do on their anniversary?

Now, if the people of a modern-day town were actually saved by a real live Golem, that would arguably be the most overt miracle for many generations, so there would be a decent chance of options 3 and/or 4 happening. It’s entirely plausible that there could be special foods for this day that become a tradition, including Golem cookies. People who directly benefited might also return to the site where the Golem fought the monster and recite the prayer, ‘Blessed is Hashem, Master of the Universe, Who performed a miracle for me in this place.’

Alternatively, if it’s important that your MC created the holiday, something like option 5 might be the best. Hopefully this will still fulfil what you need: you describe her as incredibly skilled, so I can imagine the day when she goes all out on the Golem cookies being one of the most exciting events of the year for the townspeople, just because her baking is that good. Plus, they already have a personal stake in the Golem’s sacrifice, so I definitely think it could be a thing without being an official holiday. Also, if she is outside of an all-Jewish environment, don’t forget that she would have to decide whether to commemorate the anniversary in the Hebrew calendar or the local one.

Coming back to the cookies, sorry if we’re getting a little repetitive on this point! But I don’t see the cookies being torn limb from limb as part of a celebration. First of all, this doesn’t sound like a very celebratory thing to do, to say the least. Can you imagine explaining that to a three-year-old on their first Yom HaGolem? They would be terrified! (I don’t read this suggestion as accidental anti-Semitism so much as getting carried away with a metaphor, which I’m sure as writers we have all done!)

But also, it’s worth pointing out that our commemorative foods aren’t usually that literal. If you think about hamantaschen, maror, or apple in honey, they’re all symbols. That’s not to say that having Golem-shaped cookies is a problem, as this sounds like just a bit of fun that the MC is having and not something that is directly at odds with Judaism or Jewish culture. But it’s worth bearing in mind that the more literal you go from there in terms of tying the cookies to the event they commemorate, the less culturally aligned your holiday food becomes.

Finally, about the Golem protecting non-Jewish people: I like this idea! There’s a stereotype that we only use whatever is at our disposal to help ourselves and other Jewish people, so a Golem being created by Jews but helping others as well is a big plus for me. Of course, as has already been pointed out, this would be an odd choice if her Saving The World team were anti-Semitic or otherwise disrespectful to her/her community, but I don’t think you were headed that way!

-Shoshi

I have to come back in here just to squee over the phrase “Yom HaGolem.” Well done :D

--Shira

[kariachi]

Oh look, the first ever piece of supplementary fic for the Osmobeast college au! Knew I’d write something else for it someday.

Set during their first year, a scene I always knew happened but didn’t have words for during the main story.

~~

Several months into freshman year and Kevin was already tired. Well, he was always tired, worked too hard, slept too little, put up with too much, but this one was different. It was ‘sneaking around’ tired. ‘Hiding and worrying and hiding some more’ tired. ‘Fuck being in the closet with a pineapple’ tired.

‘No plan survived contact with the enemy’, they said, and it held just as true when the plan was ‘do shit in private so nobody asks questions’. He’d dealt with enough targeted transphobia in high school, after a now-ex had, without a malicious thought in their skull, outed him, and it had seemed like it would be easier, now he wasn’t surrounded by people who’d known him since grade school and with his name legally changed as soon as he’d hit eighteen, to live openly as a guy and just keep the ‘trans’ portion shoved nice and deep in the shadows. Life was easier, in a lot of ways. No more misgendering! No more people trying to start shit! No more of fuckers who’d called him ‘Eddie’ for years without a problem suddenly deciding only his full deadname was allowed!

And all it was taking was making sure he only showered at off times and when his dormmate was out. Going out of his way to make sure that somebody he was sharing two-hundred square feet of space with never saw even a hint of a packer or binder. Making sure he only changed when said dormmate was out or asleep. He’d been right, it was very much doable, but it was tiring, and he wouldn’t, couldn’t, allow himself the calm and peace needed to make up for it on top of all his other shit.

He liked Gar too. More than liked, really, but that was beside the point. The point was, he seemed like a good guy. Trustworthy. Open-minded. Not straight, which meant nothing but did make the odds marginally better. He’d been burned before though…

In the end it was a clinging bit of hope, and the knowledge they’d be leaving on break soon so he could hopefully get another dormmate and out of sight out of mind would ring true if things went south, plus the fact his binder was actually killing him that had him finally bite the bullet. With a deep breath he turned away from his homework to Gar, laid out on his bed. He waited for the tiktok on pelicans he was watching to end before he opened his mouth.

“Hey man, can I tell you something private?” With a little concerned frown, Gar set his phone aside and sat up, legs crossed.

“Sure Kev, what’s up? You okay?” He was so sincere, was the worst part. You couldn’t not fall for a man who honestly cared about your wellbeing, which was a bitch when you were struggling to put some faith in it.

“I’m fine, yeah,” Kevin answered, resisting the urge to fidget in hopes of some comfort. “Just-” Come on, Levin, you’ve done this before, and it can’t go horribly wrong twice in a row. “Wanted to tell you I’m trans.”

“Oh,” Gar blinked in surprise a moment- ‘A+ passing ability, Levin, good job’- then smiled at him. “Okay! Take it that’s part of why you’re so private?” Baruch Hashem, that was one out of two won. Kevin nodded.

“Yeah, it is. Sneaking around is a little rough during the day though and-” he tugged at his shirt “-binder is about to be the death of me…” Eyes going wide and a hint of color coming to his face, Gar immediately scrambled to face the opposite way in the sweetest gesture Kevin had experienced in his life.

“Alright,” he said once he was aimed at the wall, “do what you’ve gotta. Hate to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“Thanks.” Beating back the butterflies in his stomach, shucked his shirt and then binder with a relieved groan, tossing the latter on his bed with more pleasure than the simple act of not having to hide it should’ve ever had to bring. “We’re good,” he said as he pulled the shirt back on with a few deep breaths, throwing a grin Gar’s way as he turned back around.

“Great.” He grinned back at him. “I’ll admit I’m not exactly experienced with trans stuff, but if you need anything just say the word. I’ve got your back.”

“You have no idea how nice that is to hear.” So nice. “If you could just, keep quiet about it for me? Don’t know if you’ve ever been outed but, it’s really not fun.” Gar cringed.

“Never but- Damn, sorry man. You don’t do that to people.”

“You’d think,” Kevin said, letting his exhaustion with that shit shine through, “but apparently if it might give you an advantage in an argument with a transphobe my wellbeing don’t matter.” With a scowl, Gar huffed and shook his head.

“Promise you,” he said, “I won’t tell anybody shit unless you’ve specifically given me the okay.” And two out of two, he was officially the best person he’d ever met.

“Thanks, man, I appreciate it.” The room lapsed into quiet for a long moment, before Kevin broke it with a shrug and “That’s it, pretty much, I just wanted to come out, make things that bit easier.”

“Makes sense,” Gar said with a nod, grabbing his phone and beginning to settle back in as Kevin turned back to his work. “Just remember, if you ever wanna talk I’m right here.”

“Don’t worry, I will.” It was like a load take off Kevin shoulders as he focused back on the page he was working on. Being able to be open about things was going to make at least the rest of the year so much easier, and knowing he had somebody to talk to on top of it? Somebody who’d keep their mouth shut? A gift.

On the other side of the room, whatever it was Gar was doing now, it wasn’t on tiktok.

[doyouknowthisjewishcharacter]

Do you know this Jewish character?

[girlactionfigure]

7:36am A Message to Our Antisemitic Visitors

A number of our recent posts attracted some vile anti-Jewish visitors in the comments section.

First of all, The Jewish Lobby would like to thank you for taking the time to leave your comments or clicking on "Like". Now that you've publicly identified yourselves, you’ve been added to The LIST.  

Yes, the secret List of Antisemites we Elders of Zion have been compiling about you.

As a Jew, we can tell you, your "anti-Israel" hatred is 100% the same as "anti-Jewish" hatred. They are one and the same. In other words, you are antisemites. Boring ones too.

So whether you choose to play semantics games or decide to proudly and openly own your hatred of Jews, it doesn't matter, you have been added to The List.

And on top of all that, you’ve also given us the personal pleasure of banning you from the page. Very satisfying, almost as satisfying as adding you to The List.

And for our regular (pro-Jewish/Israel) readers, at the link is a very interesting article by Shmuel Sackett about praying for Revenge against these antisemites.

The Revenge We Are Waiting For

During the next few weeks we will be doing a lot of davening. We will be asking HaShem for good health, happiness and forgiveness from things we should not have done. We will ask our Father in Heaven for success in educating our children, for parnossa and, of course, for shalom bayit. We will beg Him to heal the sick, take care of our elderly parents and guide us properly in raising children in the way of Torah.

For those who have not yet been blessed with having children, we will pierce the heavens with our tefillot. We will beg HaShem to give them this wonderful bracha. We will do the same for the tens of thousands of beautiful Yidden who are still single. We will not forget our brothers and sisters who suffer emotionally or with various addictions. We will pray for Moshiach, for all Jews to come home to Eretz Yisrael and for the chance to dance in the 3rd – and final – Bet Ha’Mikdash.

We will ask HaShem to give us a 2nd chance… ok, a 27th chance, since we keep repeating our mistakes. We will ask for strength in attending minyan (and not just for Shacharit!), in going to shiurim, in finding a great chavruta and in following the guidance of our Rabbonim. We will daven for better speech, more modest dress (guys too, by the way!) and for more energy, enthusiasm and excitement in serving our King!

And we will daven for revenge.

Revenge? Rewind that for a second: “And we will daven for revenge”. What?

Yes, you read that right – we will daven for revenge. Focus carefully on the words being said in Selichot and what is written many times in the machzor. In addition to the long list stated above (and many other things I did not mention) we will be begging HaShem to take revenge.

Read More: Jewish Press

The Muqata

[chicago-geniza]

genuinely curious what m*th is *supposed* to be like when you don't have adhd because i smoked the same amount--quite a lot--as those 2 guys, of what was purportedly "really pure crystal," & they were both visibly tweaking, experiencing altered states of consciousness, opening the doors of perception, choose your euphemism, meanwhile i was like. a bit more calm & focused than i am on a low pain day with adderall, was able to access language more easily and articulate abstractions with less difficulty than usual; i wasn't forgetting words or using aphasic malapropisms or circumlocuting around the lexical lacunae to make myself understood, which was academically interesting to note, actually. is it the fatigue & brain fog that make me lose words, or make the words get jumbled up between my brain & my speech, so they tumble out as aphasic nonsense? i always thought it was migraine- and seizure-related, so now i'm curious about the mechanism of action, since adderall only sporadically dispels the fog, & iirc m*th differs in the placement of one chemical bond. how does it work, having crossed the blood-brain barrier, & do the 'circuits' involved in its metabolism cross wires with the speech & language centers at all? or, as i am beginning to suspect, chronic fatigue is the culprit, & may perhaps be...worse than i thought, with alarming implications for my cognition. this is how i used to be able to write all the time: all of it, the volume & the ability to engage with questions & the ability to be *interested* in questions & above all the access to a shimmering sphere of fluent speech, fluent in the most physical sense, i moved in language like water, writing felt fluid & dynamic, compelled by a current outside of myself, думы думались сами, as bely wrote. глаголы разглаголствовались сами, слова словотворились сами, и сами условились--о порядке своем, о звуке, о ритме. самое главное в предложении: звук и ритм. то, что чувствуется, что ощущается телом. всё остальное - не в счёт. (after all, as schulz put it, pierwotne słowo było majaczeniem. the word that spoke the world into creation was all sound, all sense, semantically void, the avant-garde of the somatic order.) so: writing was, for me, a shimmering sphere, intact, within which flowed language, a river coursing on its own primordial power, the current carrying me forward as though i were a vessel & words poured through me from another world, without my volition. it felt like possession. i used to enter a trance state when i wrote; something akin to ego death, total negation of self. losing that access to language & to writing when i got sick--the sphere, the river, the iridiscent coruscating surface & the rushing fluency that carried me without effort, that surrounded me on all sides--felt creation-myth catastrophic. a loss of lurianic proportions; the breaking of the vessels. a personal tsim-tsum of the one thing i held sacred above all else, that i regarded as a sacred *practice*, that i experienced, privately, as a connection to 'the mysteries.' so i started this post with "i wonder what m*th is like if you don't have adhd" & was going to make a flippant remark that it just made me more articulate & focused than usual & now i have a headache, but. it gave me language back, if only for a few hours. i will never do it again, because hashem designed me with a healthy dose of self-preservation instinct, fear, & shame. but i am grateful to have had the experience, if only to 1) sate my curiosity (it's not like the chance to smoke crystal m*th comes around every day, & i've been curious for several years, it was the last drug left on my To Try list besides K), 2) quell my fear (based on My Personality & Neurochemistry a number of people gave me, specifically, reefer madness style "one puff & you'll be hooked for life" warnings about smoking m*th, specifically, & am relieved to note i have absolutely no desire to do it again, even in my lizard brain, which is presumably where the id lives), 3) fleetingly, gloriously be able to write again, feel fluent in my first fucking

language again, dwell in

language with the ease & extraterrestrial wonder that comes with feeling your body buoyant & weightless, suspended in water, held, for a moment, beyond gravity's reach 💕

[lichfucker]

So i know the whole thing with Willy happened a while ago, but i just want to say how comforting it is to see someone else be upset with that happening to the only Jewish character we've had so far and then everything that happened with the rabbi??? At the time it just really rubbed me the wrong way but now I just feel kinda validated in that

Idk if this is a weird thing to send

no no it’s okay

I still have... mixed feelings abt it. deffo still upset abt willy. but I’ve seen enough (jewish) people be really pleased with everything re: rabbi mike that I do kind of feel like... idk, was I wrong? should I not have felt that way? it’s weird

and like don’t get me wrong, rabbi mike is a GREAT character. everything abt him as a character I LOVE. but the circumstances under which we met him sucked ass. I hate that it took THIS LONG to meet a jewish person who is actually human, I hate that we ONLY met him because this bullshit happened to willy, I hate knowing that we will almost certainly NEVER see or hear from him again, I hate that kingston has just known and been friends with this guy THE WHOLE TIME but he still has been and will continue to be a non-entity

and this part is soooooo petty, especially because I know so many people were really thrilled abt it, but I hated hearing brennan say “hashem” slkfsd like yes I really love that he knew enough to understand that a rabbi might conceivably refer to g-d as hashem and I love how casual it was, BUT hearing that word come out of brennan’s mouth made my skin crawl in the moment. as a narrative element? great. the real-life manifestation? no thanks

anyway. you are not alone anon and I’m glad to know that I’m not, either

[enkelimagnus]

Pork

Bucky Barnes Gen, 1777 words, rated T for Hydra shit

Jewish Bucky Barnes, pre TFATWS, post Endgame

Coming out of that disastrous therapy session, Bucky comes home and tries to deal with some of his feelings.

TW: mention of torture and death, of family member deaths.

Read on AO3

Part 6 of Making a Home - the Jewish Bucky series

------------

The door slams behind him as Bucky storms into his house.

He has lunch plans but Raynor’s words and eyes and behavior stick to the corners of his mind, sickening like too-sweet candy he shouldn’t have eaten. Except he didn’t even want to eat it. It was shoved into his forced-open mouth. He tried to spit it out but he couldn’t. It was too late. It was already clinging to his teeth.

He rips the gloves off of his hands, then the jacket off of his back. There is light in the room, the light from the outside streaming in through the one window he keeps unshaded. There is the tv, playing an endless loop of soccer. The green and the gold bounce against the glass protecting the Smithsonian postcard he put up on the wall.

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, laughing at some stupid joke he can’t remember. He’s looking at Steve like he hung the moon, and in that moment, he knows that’s exactly how he felt about this sun-kissed Brooklyn kid.

It hurts to think about this picture. To see himself smiling like this. To know he was already Hydra’s, even if he thought himself free. To know he’d probably already lost Steve.

He forces himself to take a deep breath. The expanding of his lungs is uncomfortable.

Why is this upsetting to you?

Because I don’t get to have secrets. I don’t get to be a person. My mind is yours to tear apart and put back together and you’re just Hydra wrapped in star-spangled banner paper.

This isn’t the first time he’s come back from seeing Raynor feeling like there’s a vice-like grip on his heart.

She doesn’t care enough to do her job properly. She doesn’t care enough to do the paperwork to get him someone who will be good for him. So he’s stuck, because she can’t be fucked to make life less terrible for him.

No one fucking cares enough. Not Raynor, not the people at the VA, not his superiors in the taskforce. And not Steve.

The Smithsonian postcard is an insult. 4 dollars and change for a snapshot of a memory. 4 dollars and change and you can bring home Captain America and Bucky Barnes, and look at the card and think you know what it was like to be either of them in 1944. Best friends since childhood. Inseparable. Bullshit.

Bucky wants to tear that card from the wall and throw it away with all of his strength. But he doesn’t. He knows he’ll regret it. He knows he’ll hate himself for it. He’s supposed to keep loving Steve even if he’s gone. He’s supposed to think of him as this… beautiful, glorious, perfect man. He’s supposed to be okay with this.

He told him he’d be. He told him he would be fine, that he could go, that he’d manage.

And now it’s been a little over 2 months and he’s not fine. He’s not managing. And he wants to slap himself. He should have told Steve to stay. He should have told him he needed him. But he hadn’t. Because Steve wanted to leave, and Bucky’s always been the one to tell Steve to pursue what he wanted. Because he made sure he could afford those art classes by taking that second job on the docks, because he kissed his cheek and told him he was going to be famous one day. That he was going to be respected, too.

Bucky’s never been an obstacle in Steve’s way. And he wasn’t going to stop now. So he told him to go.

And now he wants to scream for him to come home to him. To come get him. To come rescue him from this horrible fucking life he’s made for himself.

He knows Steve won’t come though. He didn’t come in ‘45, when the Soviets got their hands on him. He didn’t come in ‘50, when Zola bought him from the Soviets, in the same breath he bought a bomb. He didn’t come in the following years, and eventually, Bucky forgot the name Steve.

Some nights, he hears his own begging. Steve, Ma, HaShem. No one came. No one saved him. And no one is going to save him now, in 2024. He’s going to drown in the sorrow of too many lifetimes.

What else can he do? Once his brain stops coming up with names to add to the list, what will he do?

He has no idea. And he doesn’t want to think of it. Once he’s not useful anymore, what will he be? The list is his expiration date. Sometimes, he hopes the names keep coming.

There is pent-up energy in his bones, but he doesn’t know how to get it out. It’s broad daylight, and he can’t go on a proper run right now. People will see. He has no desire to go into the military base’s gyms right now. He can probably go into the guest room and pull out the punching bag and rip it to shreds.

He doesn’t have a lot of time. Lunch is coming up. It’s Wednesday. One of the names on his list is waiting. He needs to do that. To fulfill the promises he made. It’s his purpose now.

He feels like an open wound, standing in his living room, bleeding out everywhere, burning and stinging with every miniscule spasm of muscle, every brush of air.

When he shows up at Izzy’s, Yori will ask what’s wrong with him, and he’ll lie. He can’t tell him. Yori thinks he’s just a sweet, if a little lost, guy. Moved away for a while, only recently came back to Brooklyn. Ex-military. All things that aren’t exactly lies. They aren’t exactly truths either.

Izzy’s a Japanese restaurant. The building it’s in is old, the kind of old that Bucky actually remembers. In his day, it was a butcher shop, a non-kosher one. Before his mother died, Steve would sometimes be sent to get some leftover pork trimmings from there, to thicken the soup. It smelled bad at the end of the day.

Now it’s a clean and chic place, all painted in dark colors. It’s busy at lunch time, every day. It’s also busy at dinner time, when he walks by on his way back to work. Sometimes, he grabs something to go.

He’s starting to know his way around a sushi restaurant’s menu. He’s not an enormous fan of the rice, so he usually orders those thin slices of fish, the sashimi. Izzy’s has this plate, red tuna and salmon with a side of seaweed salad. The red tuna has a meaty quality that surprised him at first, but he really enjoys it. It tastes thick and fat on his tongue. He surprises himself with the diverse arrays of foods his palate accommodates.

Thinking about the food, about Yori, and Leah, the lady that serves them at Izzy’s somewhat feels good. They’re relatively untouched by the horrors of his mind. At least for now. One day, he’ll have to tell Yori he killed his son.

For now, he wants to be a little selfish. Yori’s old. The kind of old that makes Bucky feel comfortable.

He still has to watch himself, make sure he doesn’t talk too much like an old man, that he doesn’t tell stories he shouldn’t know about. When he says things about the old Brooklyn he grew up in, he says they’re his grandfather’s stories. If no one looks too close at the details, it works.

It doesn’t help the weird distant feeling he has sometimes when it comes to his life. It pulls him away from it. As if it wasn’t really his life.

He guesses he has little in common with the James Barnes of the 1930s. A name. Some memories. Nothing else. His family’s gone, his neighborhood’s gone, his friend is gone, his shul is gone.

He eats sashimi now, with that spicy green paste - wasabi. He watches soccer on a tv in color that he can afford. He has a computer - that he doesn’t use - and a mobile phone. He’s a soldier. He never went to college.

He was smart, back when he was James Barnes. He could have gotten into university despite the quotas. That was what his father used to say. And then he died.

He departed years before Bucky lost his mind to Hydra. He was 16 the first time he led the family in Shabbos prayers. He remembers the quivering of his voice as he stood at the head of the table, in his father’s place, and recited kiddush. He remembers the tears in his ma’s eyes.

He remembers his father teaching him how to shave with steady hands. He asked him to shave him when Bucky was barely a man, before even his bar mitzvah. His hands still remember how to use both the safety razors and the straight-edged ones. Even with decades of Hydra, he remembers it. He’s thankful for that, because the clippers and electric razors people use now are out of the question for him.

The clock ticks and tocks, minutes melting away as he stands there lost in feelings and memories.

Suddenly, he’s late to meet with Yori and he almost runs to the restaurant where the old man sits at the counter like he always does, saving a seat for him.

“You’re late,” Yori points out and Bucky finds himself sheepish.

“Didn’t see the time.”

He takes his seat by Yori’s side. They talk about sports and the papers, and the obituaries. Bucky finds himself looking through the names and wondering if he knew any of them, if they were the loud kids from down the streets when he was a teenager.

Leah comes over with a smile. Today’s special is subuta.

“What’s that?” Bucky asks in a hushed voice to Yori as Leah walks away with a smile and lets them think through their options.

Yori leans back towards him. “Sweet and sour pork. Very tasty. Izzy’s the best in town. You should try it.”

“Ah,” Bucky sighs softly. “I don’t eat pork.”

It’s a lie. He’s eaten a lot of pork in his life. Pierce loved his bacon. But it’s also true. He hasn’t touched pork since he’s left Hydra. The smell of it cooking makes him think of Pierce. And there’s something inside of him that avoids it, even if he doesn’t keep kosher in any other way. He hasn’t ever announced it that way.

Yori nods quietly, not realizing what those four words mean.

There’s no way he can know. It’s Bucky’s secret.