#this is the first piece of fic i've actually posted since i was like 12

[geneticdriftwood]

lost and found pt. 1: missing pieces (dickroy wip snippet)

Summary:

"In the photo, Roy’s head hangs backwards over the arm of their old couch. His face is covered in doodles that Dick had helped a tiny Lian draw, all in multicolored permanent marker. He’s trying to look dramatically outraged, but the effect is ruined by the bright grin he can’t quite suppress. His gaze is directed off camera, to where Lian is giggling delightedly in Dick’s lap, a bright streak of blue smudged across her right cheek. The look in his eyes is full of such intense love and devotion that Dick forgets, for a moment, how to breathe."

Or: Dick thinks about the past and fails to change the future.

A/N: this is a little snippet from pt. 1 of lost and found, my wip au where Lian and Damian become friends while she's running around gotham still "dead". they get themselves stranded half a galaxy away, and in the process of rescuing them, dick and roy finally work through their issues and figure their shit out. takes place shortly after bruce returns from the time stream, pre-nu52 canon but with lian's current death plotline

---------------

The last kid from his gymnastics class has finally been picked up, so Dick heads to the staff locker room to rinse off before going home. 

Honestly, Dick hates this locker room. It’s nothing like the tiny one at his old gym in New York, with its cracked mirror, and its shower with shit water pressure, and its photos and stickers and children's artwork on every locker. This one is too big, all shiny and new and impersonal, remodeled, like the rest of the gym, with money from a generous anonymous donation. Because Bruce can’t resist shoving himself into every fucking corner of Dick’s life.

That’s probably enough bitching about Bruce for now. He doesn’t want to hit his daily quota before he even finds out what happened last night with Damian. 

Dick finishes his shower and towels off, changing into a clean pair of sweatpants and an old Wonder Woman t-shirt. Gym bag over his shoulder, he waves goodbye to his coworkers and steps out into the soft light of early evening. He throws a helmet on, hops on his bike, and pulls out of the parking lot, heading in the direction of his apartment. 

The fog of stress and exhaustion has finally cleared from his head, and he’s feeling more like himself than he has all day, but something in his chest still aches. 

His last group of the day had been the tumbling class for 5-6 year olds. It's one of his favorites to teach–– it’s mostly just playing games, and he loves seeing how carefree and comfortable in their own skin the kids that age still are. But there’s moments when he looks at them and chokes on the air in his lungs, unable to swallow the grief. 

Sophie had landed her first cartwheel today, and all he could see was Lian, running into the tower kitchen to proudly show him that look, she finally got the feet right! And he and Donna had applauded, and let her lick the cookie dough off the spoon, and listened as she’d sat at the kitchen island, kicking her feet and telling them all about some new animal fact she’d learned. 

He thinks about calling Roy and sharing the memory. But he doesn't know if he should, hasn't talked to him recently enough to know whether the thought of past joy would be a comfort, or just a painful reminder of loss.

It aches down to his bones, that he doesn’t know. The distance between him and Roy feels so wrong, like he’s missing a limb. 

Dick pulls in and parks in front of his favorite little corner grocery store. Dick wants to say he doesn’t know how all this started, but, well, he definitely does. He just doesn't particularly want to think about it.

This is his own damn fault, he knows. Roy’s been trying to reach out, lately. They see each other semi-regularly, at Justice League meetings or during the occasional mission. Out of costume sometimes, too, at someone’s birthday dinner or a West family cookout. But Dick’s had a lot of practice dodging conversations he doesn’t want to have. And normally Roy doesn’t let him get away with that, but they both know better than to start this fight in public. 

So Dick avoids being alone with Roy, and Roy stares at him from across the room, eyes burning holes in the side of Dick’s head. Between the two of them, silences have always been so much louder than screaming matches. 

Dick glances down. He’s a little surprised to notice that he has his phone out and opened to Roy’s contact, where a much younger face looks up at him. Donna had taken the picture, one afternoon when it had just been the three of them and Lian in the tower.

In the photo, Roy’s head hangs backwards over the arm of their old couch. His face is covered in doodles that Dick had helped a tiny Lian draw, all in multicolored permanent marker. He’s trying to look dramatically outraged, but the effect is ruined by the bright grin he can’t quite suppress. His gaze is directed off camera, to where Lian is giggling delightedly in Dick’s lap, a bright streak of blue smudged across her right cheek. The look in his eyes is full of such intense love and devotion that Dick forgets, for a moment, how to breathe.

It’s not like Dick wants things to stay like this. He misses his friend so much it burns inside. But he doesn’t know how to fix this. He’s afraid to try. Dick feels stuck, frozen. Why the hell is this so hard? 

His thumb hovers over the call button on the screen. He really, really wants to hear Roy’s voice.

Suddenly his phone vibrates, and a text from Tim pops up at the top of the screen.

dropping itty bitty bat off at ur place, eta 20min. if u arent home to stop me i WILL be stealing all ur zesti.

The tension of the moment breaks, and Dick is back to being just a guy in a parking lot. He lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and pauses for a moment before pocketing his phone and turning to head into the store. He’s got a kid he needs to make dinner for, and he should probably restock on Zesti.

As he pushes the door open and is hit with cool air and the sounds of shoppers, a little voice in his head whispers “coward”. It sounds uncomfortably like Roy’s.

[antariies]

how to build a chair........... director's cut ∠( ᐛ 」∠)__ this is about to be a very long very self-indulgent post where i just talk about my own writing. i also doodled on all the pages i think it makes the whole thing more fun to go thru. welcome to my ted talk

SIKE before i begin. credit where credit is due, this post was the start of it all. it changed my brain chemistry my jaw was dropped i was in awe i was obsessed and before i even finished it i knew that i would eventually have to make something similar for the commander or else i would be cursed to think about it for the rest of my life. and i Was cursed for like two years every day i would just be like........ is today the day i sit down and draft the commander chair fic of my dreams....... maybe tomorrow......

and then i got accepted as a writer for the gw2 zine ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ the chair idea was actually my backup option in case my first idea didn't pan out, and thank god it didn't, bc this one worked so much better. (still working on my initial idea, just turning it into a full fic! it was wayyy too long to be a zine submission.)

this is the chair i used. i downloaded the assembly instructions and tried out a bunch of different free pdf editors until i found one i liked, which ended up being sedja. if anyone's interested in doing something like this, i recommend printing out the pdf and writing directly on it! it was a lot easier for me to just figure out everything on paper first and then digitalize it after :P here's a picture of my physical copy

okay actually getting into it for real this time !!!!!

1. yeah i could've just erased the ikea logo and left a blank space but then i realized i could turn it into an in-universe joke. and then i ran with it.

2. i ripped this straight from the product description on the website. thanks ikea

3. i'm not sure if anyone went and looked it up, but it's a real item code!

hehe :3c

4. if your commander willingly goes to therapy i'm happy for them but TO ME? you'd have to drag the commander kicking and screaming. it's not that they don't know that something is wrong with them, they know, and they know YOU know. you're just never supposed to talk about it. they don't look at their own psych eval results bc that's none of their business.

5. i normally avoid specifying the commander's race when i write them bc i enjoy the challenge, but for the zine i was assigned to write about a norn commander! as a human main i was uhhhh very ill-equipped. but that just meant i had to study up on my norn lore (•̀ᴗ•́)و i spent hours on the wiki, then went around interviewing norn mains for their opinions, which was great fun :D it all helped me narrow the focus of my piece: joining the war on commander objectification on the side of commander objectification (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ and no one self-aggrandizes quite like the norn commander!

and to balance that i knew my narrator had to be patronizing as shitttt. they've clearly been following the commander since the beginning and seem to know a lot of intimate details about their life, despite not thinking very highly of them. wonder who that could be :3c

6. i can't stop making references. so the original part number is actually #122620 in the manual but i've changed it here (and on the previous page!) to #082812, as in 08/28/12, the date gw2 was released! no real reason for it, @dalennaugw suggested it for funsies and i liked it. if you're my pal and i show you a wip and you have a cool idea for it, chances are i Will put that shit in. hi dale if you're reading this

7. another thing about me. i loveeee repetition. here the word "over" is repeated four times to match the picture. honestly a lot of the creative process for this piece was just staring at the pages and figuring out how to tie the pictures to the commander in ways that weren't extremely corny or trite. idk why i enjoy writing like this when i could be frolicking in the beautiful prosaic meadows of a word doc instead but. it's like i see a tiny little restrictive box and i'm like OH BOY can't wait to think inside of that thing!!! i like when the format matters just as much as the content and in some cases informs the content. am i making any sense here. well all you need to know is that i'm a virgo and my favorite book is house of leaves

7. aw fuck just realized i wrote 7 twice. whatever i'm not changing it this is 7 part two now. the theme of my piece is glory, what it means to the norn commander, and how far they're willing to go for it.

8. does norn culture place emphasis on seeking individual glory Yes are norn also very community-oriented Also Yes. i think it's common to see norn kids napping together in a big pile, usually after they've worn themselves out playing games outside. it makes sense practically (apes together warm) and socially (pack bonding good) but that's just my hc. growing up i used to share a bed with my cousins all the time so it's normal to me.

a young, naive not-yet-commander, with no real combat experience, has no point of reference to compare a "blaze of glory" to. but the way everyone talks about it, it must be a good thing. a wonderful thing. a reward fit for a life well-fought and a legend hard-earned. so they imagine it must feel like falling asleep surrounded by the people they love, who love them in turn.

9. .........i was playing a lot of ace attorney when i wrote this page. i wish i was joking 👍🏼

10. ohhh shit the truth come OUT this whole chair thing was all a ploy just so i could write about the departing. again.

will i ever stop thinking about her. reply hazy, try again later.

11. out of all the pages, this one has the most emphasis on text placement, like comparing the enlarged picture of the screw to a sword, the numbers counting the screws, and "up up up" being arranged to mimic a wisp of smoke.

i also wanted to lean into the viking/norse mythology influences with my word choice.

12. more nods to norn culture. i didn't know they referred to the six human gods as "spirits of action" until i was doing the research for this piece :O

and the domain of the lost is called a hall of ghosts....... cause valhalla.....

13.

i'm sorry this so funnyyy. SAYS the guy who literally clawed their way back to life for a rematch.

me when i'm in a sore loser competition and my opponent is the COMMANDER!!!

14. arms as in "limbs" and also arms as in "armaments" :•]

15. haha get it because the picture makes it look like there are two mirrored speech bubbles while the text paints two opposing interpretations of the norn commander. one that's selfless and humble versus one that's selfish and vainglorious.

16. and the best part is IT DOESN'T MATTER which one is true bc at the end of the day no matter what their motivation, balthazar is dead by their hand. ofc i'm of the opinion that the most compelling interpretation of the commander is both, simultaneously. contradictions are good for the soul.

17. i could've name-dropped kas, the only person present that would do something like that, but i felt it was better to leave it ambiguous.

18. low-hanging fruit. the metaphor was so obvious here but i had to do it. for the culture

19. the alternate title for this piece was "THIS COULD BE GLORY". "how to build a chair" was only supposed to be a placeholder title til i figured out a better one, but the innocuousness of it grew on me. also i came up with the other one too late and had already advertised under the chair title lol

20. my first instinct was to end it with something more reassuring, like "what you have built so far is enough" but that would've been an ooc switch-up for a narrator who has been nothing but snide and detached this whole time. gotta stick to my guns

21.

obligatory chair joke as the last line. for realsies though it’s meant to be an earnest appeal to the commander to take a break, to have a seat, but it’s also a challenge. are they willing to lean on their friends? are the bonds they’ve forged strong enough to hold their weight? are they willing to put their faith in someone else’s hands? are they brave enough to try? well. only one way to find out.

also guess what that wasn’t even the real last page of the manual. it's THIS

but no way i was letting this be the image we ended on. IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK AND BALLS!!!

and on that note, THANK YOU if you made it this far!! a very special shout-out to @hawkepockets, my lovely boyfriend and beta reader, without whom this piece would not be nearly as polished. i would bring him pages to look over and he would say Scrap half of those lines you can do better than that. kill your darlings. i would complain and argue for a few minutes then we would revise. rinse and repeat until we had honed this thing to perfection. i can't stress enough the importance of having a second pair of eyes on your work throughout your creative process, even better if it's someone who challenges you. i don't even pay him 🫶🏼

and if there was anything i didn't cover that you still have questions about, please feel free to shoot me an ask! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ thanks for reading! see u later dudes ;P

[firstkanaphans]

Hi Sarah - thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts re: writing, I always get so much from your posts. Would you be willing to talk a little about how you outline a long chaptered fic? Do you usually have an idea of how long you want the story to be before you outline? Are there beats you try to hit, do you have a specific outlining method, do you always write an outline before you start a long story?

Hiiii, Ellie!! Yes, I’d be happy to help.

I do outline all of my multi-chaptered fics. I was asked about my outlining process in this ask, so feel free to check that out as well. In that one, I mention the snowflake method, which is what I use to outline most of my fanfiction, but I’m going to use this ask as an excuse to talk about how I outline more complicated fics and original fiction. 

Some of y’all already know that before I got into the BL fandom, I was (unsuccessfully) writing original fiction, and when outlining original fiction, I always use Blake Snyder’s beat sheet. I’ve copied a visual representation below, but I highly recommend clicking the link above, which will give you a run-down on each of the specific elements. 

This is by far the best plotting method I've ever come across and you can find plenty of resources specifically geared towards this method online. It was originally created for screenwriting, but has since been adapted for novels as well, although I think the original works just fine.

For fanfiction, sometimes this beat sheet is too detailed and often it can be a bit difficult to adapt it for romance-based works, so I usually just simplify it down to a few core elements. I’ll use Best Laid Plans to illustrate this as it’s my most recent fic and it’s still fresh on my mind:

Catalyst: Boeing asks Akk out on a date

Break Into Two: Akk feels too sexually inexperienced to date the campus playboy, so he asks Aye to teach him 

Fun and Games: Aye teaches Akk

Midpoint (AKA the moment everything changes): Akk realizes he has real feelings for Aye

Bad Guys Close In: Akk tries to win Aye over

All is Lost: Akk doesn’t think Aye likes him back

Finale: Akk and Aye get together

Obviously, that’s a very simplistic overview—the actual outline is much more in-depth—but I have a lot of fun outlining using this method. It’s like a puzzle and you just fit the pieces where they belong.

To answer your first question about whether I go into a new work knowing how long it’ll be, the answer is no. I make my fics exactly as long as they need to be to tell the story I’m trying to tell and no longer. In fact, Best Laid Plans was originally outlined at 12 chapters, but when it came down to it, it felt more right to end it at 11.

The good thing about fanfiction is that there’s a lot of wiggle room. You don’t have to structure your fic in any particular way, or even at all. But if you like to plan things out beforehand, this is a great tool to use. I highly recommend reading Save the Cat by Blake Synder if you’re interested in learning more because he goes into a lot more detail there. It’s my favorite book on writing ever and I cannot recommend it enough.

[kybercrystals94]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 75

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 92,568

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently, Star Wars (mostly Bad Batch); however, I've written for a lot of TV shows over the years. (I prefer TV shows over movies simply because I can get to know the characters better and have a better feel for them when writing)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Unconventionally Easy (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) - a pre-Order 66 story about a mission gone awry for the Batch. 2. I Miss You (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) - Echo finds an unexpected message from a brother. 3. Regroup (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) - Tech and Omega have to leave Hunter and Wrecker behind when a job for Cid goes sideways. 4. Just Sit With Me (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) - A Cadet Batch fic featuring young Crosshair and Tech. 5. Resilient (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) - Echo struggles with his PTSD.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! It's one of my favorite parts of writing fan fiction!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? This one is really hard since I did Whumptober and Febuwhump and Angstpril 😅 I'd have to say maybe Haunting Failures or Sick Day (although my readers would probably choose different ones).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably the Stardust Conspiracy or Detail Work.

8. Do you get hate on fics? In other fandoms, I have...I have yet to experience hate in this fandom.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I don't read or write or watch it...not my thing.

10. Do you ever write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I haven't really written any...but I did kinda play with the idea of writing a Psych and Bones crossover 😂 I was gonna call it The Psychic in the Capital.

11. ?? (there was no question for #11...so I'll just say....nothing, I guess)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I am aware of, but that would be so cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Kind of! I wrote Where Fears Are Born & When Fears Are Faced as companion pieces of @just-here-with-my-thoughts' fic Phobia. And then @just-here-with-my-thoughts wrote a couple cute companion pieces for The Stardust Conspiracy! (Find the Stardust collection here!)

14. What's your all time favorite ship? Kanan and Hera 🥰😭

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Mmmmm...I don't know. Any WIPs I have chapters posted for I have plans to finish...the ones slowly dying in my folder, however...😅

There's a Fives Survives AU I've been writing where he's actually the one who finds and rescues Omega from Kamino that I would really like to see through.

16. What are your writing strengths? I love character studies, so I feel like that really helps my writing!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I hate writing action scenes...and I tend to lean heavily on dialogue.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? The only time I've used "another language" in a fic is when I have clones use Mando'a words...but they don't usually use full sentences.

19. First fandom you wrote for? When I was an early teen I wrote for the Disney show Pair of Kings. 😂 However, I think I deleted the story after a couple of days...the first fandom I stuck to for a bit of time and still have stories floating around out there was Bonanza.

20. Favorite fic you've written? Basically any story I've written with the boys as cadets. They All Fall Down is probably one of my favorites, just because it reminds me so much of growing up with siblings. I also loved writing the Stardust Conspiracy.

Thank you for tagging me, @the-little-moment! This was so fun!!

Is it possible to tag all my moots?? Because I wanna see all your answers...(**cough**cough**if you've read this far, consider yourself TAGGED)

[inkedroplets]

fanfic writer questions

Thanks so much for the tag @sideguitars

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

Twenty. A good mix of one-shots and longer fics that I will finish someday...

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

534,441

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Supergirl but I've dabbled with Legends of Tomorrow and have a few unpublished fics for different fandoms that I might share

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Rich Girl With Issues (I swear I'm almost done with the last chapter. The flu kicked my ass but I'm finishing up. My weird Lena becomes a vigilante fic. I still am amazed that people like it as much as they do)

Maybe I'm Too Afraid to Admit It (Kind of cute Kara realizes she has feelings for Lena. I really don't know why this one resonated with so many people)

Somewhere You Can't Follow (My weird (and poorly written) Legends and Supergirl crossover. I would love to go back and actually rewrite large bits of this but the dialogue is on point, at least. Oh and Lena gets to see her mom again so that's a plus)

Denial is Not Just a River in Egypt (I have no memory of this place fic)

Nothing Gold Can Stay (My one and only kidfic but I love it to pieces)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do and I don't. I'm a lot more offline than I was when I first started writing and if too much time passes, I feel weird about responding since I feel like I'm bothering people but I am trying to be better about it. Because I really do cherish each one

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably nothing I've posted yet would count but I do have one that I plan to post soon-ish that's so angsty I took a year to decide whether or not to share it.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think all of my one-shots have pretty standard happy endings. I think I'll say that either Rich Girl or Nothing Gold Can Stay will have the happiest endings (in my opinion) Wait (a little longer) and see

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I'll get the occasional weird comment. Nothing out of the ordinary. I did get a really rude bookmark once that kind of made me laugh. They hated the story yet still chose to bookmark it which is a choice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I dabble in it. There's a snippet floating around somewhere on tumblr that I'm too lazy to find. I'll share it once I finish the first chapter. It's a bit out of my wheelhouse but its fun? Very different kind of writing than what I'm used to.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I write a lot of crossovers. I think when I write fic, I want to see something a little strange and unique that I can't find elsewhere. I'm working on a fic now where Kara meets Matt Murdock, that's not an interaction I ever envisioned myself writing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? To be fair, I haven't ever cared enough to check. I don't think I'm popular enough to get a fic stolen xD

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Someone translated one of my fics into Russian. I was incredibly flattered that they liked it enough to do so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I think it's mostly because I'm quite a selfish writer? I know what and how I want to write so collaboration is quite difficult. Maybe I still have some leftover trauma from all the group projects of my past.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Supercorp, if that wasn't very, very obvious.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'll finish them all!

16. What are your writing strengths?

I really don't know and that's not just me being modest. I don't really think I do anything particularly well?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Being succinct. Every ficlet wants to be a multi-chaptered story and every multi-chaptered story wants to be a novel

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think if implemented well it can be a great addition. If it's merely tacked on, however... I feel it not only doesn't add anything to the story but it makes the reader aware that they're reading a story. A bit of the magic is lost in the clunky execution.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

On AO3 Supercorp but I've dabbled in fandom for years and years. There's ancient Xena fic somewhere in my mother's basement

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Probably has to be Rich Girl but I really am fond of Swear Not by the Moon, as well. I've really enjoyed expanding the scope of Supergirl's world a bit and watching the characters slowly grow over the course of the story

No-pressure tags, of course: I never know who to tag in these until I finish these but if you like @rustingcat @vox-ex @sazernac

[phantom-of-the-ruckus]

The scarecrow and Bride (WIP)

FINALLY I GOT TO DRAW ELIZABETH! WHOOO HOOO!

Ah, and here's him with his scarecrow mask which is in progress (Question Iva's methods, but never her results/jk)

This is just him with his mask on, he'll be wearing his full scarecrow costume, but I made two versions for funsies. In an ideal world, I would make a small animation to showcase the chance buuuuut:

Phantom learn from two years ago Tumblr has a vendetta against her and big gif files/hj

I...actually don't know how the duck to animate that

So it remains just as an extra, but also is a relief because it means less work outside the whole making a separate head just for an alternate and shading XD

This most likely, if I am able to get it done soon XD, will be my halloween post. If I am lucky I could also get the fic out soon, but that'll be dropped early for the ScarecrowWeek 2024 hahaha (which technically this piece will be, but for the last day as I am taking the oportunity that its a free day hehee)

----

Ok, so about the requests. I am not dropping them, Phantom is on a two-day break!

Alright, lovely folks, don't worry about your request! I'll continue them on Saturday, as I am taking today and tomorrow off from drawing the colorless request, and focus on some stuff of mine.

I just took this decision recently, since honestly I've spent quite a lot of days drawing about 12 requests (THANK YOU GUYS!!!/vpos), so I decided to take a small teeny tiny break to relax and indulge in my stuff of Halloween! (better plan early than late, hahaha)

Although, I will say please don't send in requests today or Friday as it's on my break. I'll continue them on Saturday and slowly work to finish stuff. So in a sense, just for today and Friday, I am holding a small pause. I never thought I've gotten 12 drawings out already, and I appreciate it with all my heart, but I do hope you dears can understand I def need a small break so I don't get burn out or too overwhelmed. I will try however to get some progress done on one of the longest ones, as Delly has been an angel and been super patience.

In the first week of October I will only take two as I'll be busy, and the request will close down until next year (the last weeks of the year are the busiest for me)

[jtl07]

jtl07 fics, summer 2023

Kinda liked doing the half year recap in June and had planned to do another one at the end of the year, but since I had quite the posting spree this month, decided to do one now.

General stats

Total on this pseud: 12 (all avatrice / Warrior Nun fandom)

Fics posted (chronological order):

to all the girls (to you, to me) -- or: Ava watching people fall in love with Beatrice, including herself

leave it all behind (I’ll see you on the other side) -- or: Ava comes back - healthy, whole, quiet. Too quiet.

the long, delirious, burning blue -- or: the moody Top Gun 2 (Maverick) AU

another little peace (restful pieces): something old, something blue -- or: the girls buy cereal; or or: Bea learning the difference between safety and familiarity

looks for you in everything (finds you there) -- or: Switzerland vignettes based on items found in their bedroom

Enhanced Beings Tech Support transcripts -- or: What if there was technical phone support for “enhanced beings” like halo bearers?

another little peace (restful pieces): lets you see the wonder of it all -- or: Ava meets a member of her family

another little peace (restful pieces): like a boat -- or: Beatrice plays Stray Gods

late night vigil -- or: camila learns about beatrice's strap; she helps in her own way

another little peace (restful pieces): to always wake up to you -- or: avatrice proposal based off of SimplyKorra's fantastic headcanon

another little peace (restful pieces): perchance to dream (no more) -- or: Ava wakes up from a dream

can't go back -- or: Five times Beatrice tries a food for a second time

(More numbers, thoughts, and some plans below the cut)

More numbers

Total words: 36720

Shortest: 685 (to always wake up to you)

Longest (one-shot): 5987 (the long, delirious, burning blue)

Average/Median word count: 3060 / 2019

General thoughts

Nearly 10k more words in the past 3 months than I wrote the first half of the year - I guess being in a safe space after your life has been turned upside down makes a difference, huh?

I still don't know what happened this month - specifically, the two week period from 8/14 - 8/26 where my fingers were just trying their best to keep up with the stories pressing in my brain lol (willing to bet it's somethingsomething healing and how it can take many forms, like this kind of intense spike)

Fun fact: This is only the second time I've written a one-shot over 5k words this year (3rd time ever in my many years of writing fic). It's always interesting to look at the average / median word count because it's been firmly in the 2k range. I still want to challenge myself with longer work, they just take time and energy yknow? Under 3k, I feel really comfortable now, which is a cool feeling

Fic that surprised me:

Honestly, everything that happened in that intense two week period (i.e. everything posted after "the long, delirious, burning blue") was a genuine surprise. Every time one of those ideas happened, I felt like I was just trying to keep up. I was really glad to have the space - emotionally, physically - to write those stories.

And I guess what surprised me also was just how wide a range they all were. I've been trying to work on just "writing what will get written" and learning to turn off the judgemental voice in my head that says things like, "you should be writing more," or "you should be writing better ideas." It was a surprise that these ideas just kinda flowed without much friction, yknow? I'm taking it as a sign of growth :)

Fic that was the hardest to write:

Oh gosh hands down leave it all behind (I’ll see you on the other side) - I had to discard full drafts and start over from scratch multiple times to get to what's actually posted. I had tried different perspectives, different settings, different points in the story, but I just kept getting stuck. I think part of it was because when I write, I usually start with a vibe or an arc - with this one, I was starting with the turn, the twist - which I don't often write either. So writing this kind of story was new on all fronts

can't go back was also a bit frustrating to write - I've been dealing with a sudden recurrence of brain fog so I know part of it was that, but idk, I feel like it could have been tighter thematically

Fic that I'm proud of:

Definitely the Top Gun 2/Maverick AU, the long, delirious, burning blue. I mentioned this in a comment that when I first had the idea, I'd expected it to be more of an action fic - I don't often write action, so I thought it'd be a good opportunity to practice. But, as with most of my work, it ended up quite moody, more a reflection of grief and duty.

Why am I proud of it? Because despite my initial intent, and my initial disappointment when I realized the direction it was going, I allowed myself to go with it. Writing this piece helped me accept where I am in my writing, to accept the stories I choose to write and how I write them. This fic was not at all what I had expected, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed

Runner up: looks for you in everything (finds you there) - the final word count shocked me, honestly, I didn't expect to write so many vignettes. But I was mostly proud of the diligence behind this and letting my sappy side run free lol

WIPs in the wings

Lol my WIP list is hella long - and that's not counting a whole separate document I have that's just prompts. I still have some Supercorp ideas that I've not yet fleshed out that are more on the "experimental" side that play with form and formatting - I've also some avatrice ones in "genre" as well.

Surprisingly, I've a couple AUs I've been turning over in my mind - I blame playing Stray Gods for making me remember some video games I'd grown up playing lol Oh and I've been pondering how to do a litrpg/gamelit style fic as well.

There's a couple longer one-shots that I've been pecking at but are going to take me a while to finish - there's one that's sort of a sister to every leaf that falls (never stops falling) (not a continuation, more like a sister in terms of vibe and tone), and another that explores Ava having a new ability (will I ever stop being enamored with Switzerland era? The answer is no lol).

But mostly, I'm just going to vibe with happens - "write what will get written" and all. We'll see where it all goes!

If you've read this far, thanks a ton for your support and going on the ride that is my fics lol - much appreciation to y'all!

[makeitastrength]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you so much to @cfr749, @sisterofficerlucychen, @mamadoc, and @queseraone for tagging me in this! I was on vacation last week which is why it's taken me forever to answer.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

29

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

213,510

3. What fandoms do you write for?

On AO3, only The Rookie. But I used to write for Castle on ffnet

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The spaces in between

Unless it is

The (E-rated) spaces in between

Tell me you love me (without any words)

Put me back together piece by piece

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I used to be very inconsistent about this, but now I always make sure to reply to every comment because I want people to know how much I appreciate every single one

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I generally at least make sure the ending is hopeful, even if it's not completely happy. I guess the most angsty ending is either this one or this chapter

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmmm... most of them? But if I have to pick just one, I guess maybe this one since the whole thing is really just them being so completely in love and happy

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Luckily, no. Not in this fandom. I got quite a bit for Castle though, which is part of the reason I left that fandom behind

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do. I seem to be incapable of writing just plain old smut, though. Somehow the emotions always find their way in. So if you're looking for porn + feelings, I've got you covered

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not, and I don't think I ever will

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, once, when I wrote for Castle. Someone took it from ffnet and posted it under their own name on AO3. Luckily, someone from the fandom noticed and told me, and I was able to get the fic taken down

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Yes, a couple people translated a couple of my Castle fics back in the day

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, but @queseraone and I have an idea for one that is hopefully going to be a summer hiatus project 😊

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

For so many years it was Caskett, but I think Chenford has taken over the top spot now

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh gosh, I have so many partial ideas and little tidbits jotted down on my laptop, and I have no idea which, if any, will ever see the light of day. In theory I will some day write all of them, but I know that's not actually going to happen

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'd like to think my strengths are characterization and attention to detail

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not a very creative writer. I never have been. I'm not good at thinking up characters on my own or building my own story from scratch. But if you give me the characters and universe and all of those details, I could write about them all day

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Hmmm. I don't think I've ever done it. If I did, I'd definitely use multiple translation tools to ensure accuracy. And if I knew someone who spoke the language, I would reach out to them too

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Castle

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I've been asked this question multiple times over the past couple years, and I keep thinking someday I'll write something new that I really love and I'll be able to give a different answer. But nope. It's still this one

I think most everyone has already been tagged in this over the past week, so I'm tagging anyone who hasn't answered these questions yet but wants to!

[swanmaids]

fic writer questions - thanks for the tags, @grey-gazania @curufiin and @thelordofgifs! Sorry that it took so long.

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 51, though one is a compilation of unrelated short pieces.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 89,680

3. What fandoms do you write for? At present just Silm and Lotr, but I'm hoping to participate in Yuletide this year and thinking about The Handmaiden, Hustlers, Swan Lake, and The Wolf Den as potential fandoms to offer

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

spirited away (outsider pov legolas/gimli)

post mortem (clinical/epistolary post-second kinslaying)

it takes a village (5+1 SoF and celebrimbor)

the straight road (epistolary legolas/gimli)

the stones wept (orpheus and eurydice au legolas/gimli)

It seems like my most popular pieces are L/G or sons of Feanor. And they ARE fun to write about, so I'm not complaining!

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes. But sometimes it takes an embarrasingly long time. Because I suck.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? haven (everyone dies) sister sister (everyone dies) if our deed faileth (everyone dies) woe unto worlds end (everyone dies)

Sensing a theme.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? coastin' (Elwing gets her pussy ate by her sexy husband and has an orgasm)

8. Do you get hate on fics? Lol I'm not relevant enough for that.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes lol. I'm not sure what's meant by "what kind", but I've done F/F, M/M, F/M, F/M/M, M/F/F/F/F and a fairly big variety of kinks so like... most kinds?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? No, and I'm not a huge reader of them, although I long for a Silm/Succ crossover

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! The lovely @camille-lachenille translated see it fall, child of war into French. You can read it here.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No. I write very slowly and erratically, which I don't think would be fair to any potential cowriter.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Legolas/Gimli is a long term otp and one couple where I really can't see either side with anyone else (if they want to invite Aragorn or Eomer to join for a night I'm not opposed). Elwing and Earendil is another couple that I feel the same about (and I'm also defensive of them as a couple and genuinely see them as an example of some of Tolkien's most romantic writing). I also really like Celegorm/Orome for being basically perfect for my id.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Eeeh. I'm really trying not to officially throw in the towel on any of my wips. It's just taking me a long time...

16. What are your writing strengths? Can I say smut? I think I'm quite good at setting, food, and clothing descriptions too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Any plot that's more complicated than "emotion in space" or "dick in hole". Also actually DOING the writing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I used to do it much more than I currently do. Now I feel like it breaks the flow of the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for? LOTR.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? I've said it before but I was really pleased with how one of your girls came out and have reread it a couple of times since publishing. Actually I think I got some writers block after publishing it because I feel like I can't surpass it lol.

This was fun to do! I'm very late to the party so I think most people have been tagged, but if anyone else wants to do it then please go ahead and say I tagged you.

[dangerouscommiesubversive]

Fic Stats Meme

Rules: Give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and your fic with the least amount of words.

One more thing I was tagged in by @materassassino, even longer ago, because these past two days I've just. Really been in the mood to clear out some of my drafts and do fun stuff?

Most Hits: Make A Wish (Young Avengers) - 17,527 hits

Wealthy scientist Nate Richards has been shot, and the legendary sapphire he owned stolen. Noh Varr, a private investigator, is hired—not to track down his killer, but to exonerate one of the suspects. It all gets much messier than he'd expected.

This is a Young Avengers noir AU that I wrote for the Young Avengers Reverse Big Bang and one of my very few attempts at first-person narration, and frankly its hit count mystifies me. I guess people re-read it a lot or something? I'm glad that it has staying power, I'm just puzzled.

Second Most Kudos: Lay That Heavy Trick On Me (Guardians of the Galaxy) - 1,248 kudos

The Guardians take a job robbing an expensive resort, and their floorplans indicate that the best access point to get to where they need to be is in the honeymoon suite. Which means that two of them need to play like they're married. Peter's not quite sure why he has to be one of the lucky newlyweds. Drax doesn't understand subterfuge. Gamora just keeps laughing at them and it's terrible.

This was actually my most kudos'ed story until fairly recently, when it was overtaken by hard work. It's a fun story--not my best, but it's in a much bigger fandom than I normally write for and it has a couple of super-popular tropes in it, so I suppose it's not so weird that it's up there stats-wise.

Third Most Comments: Gaiden: Neo-Heisei Kamen Rider (Kamen Riders W through Zi-O) - 133 comment threads

Not bothering with the summary because this one's a collection of short pieces, mostly from Tumblr prompts, and it's got 108 chapters. Some people comment on every piece they read! It's very gratifying!

Fourth Most Bookmarked: Lay That Heavy Trick On Me (Guardians of the Galaxy) - 297 bookmarks

"Heavy Trick" again! I mean, for real, this one used to be my leader in everything, for a while it was by far my most popular fic.

Fifth Most Words: Into The Black (Young Avengers/Firefly) - 44,537 words

Mercenary space captain Kate Bishop's got a loyal crew (mostly), an unreliable space ship (hey don't you say that Dawn's Archer is perfect), some unresolved anger issues (some faces that need grinding that is), and a lot of moral gray areas that she likes to play around in as she roams the galaxy, taking whatever jobs she can find. When her ship takes on some unusual passengers, however, everything goes completely off the rails.

This one--my tragic forever-unfinished Young Avengers/Firefly mashup--is genuinely surprising to me. I had no idea I'd written so much for it. I ought to be honest with myself and everyone else and update the tags/summary/chapter count to indicate that it's unlikely to ever be completed, but I haven't got the heart. And who knows, maybe at some point I'll rewatch Firefly and re-read YA Vol 2 and get inspired for it again. As I recall, the next chapter I'd had planned before I got distracted was the "Objects in Space" one, which was going to have Deadpool as the bounty hunter.

Fewest Words: various fandom poems

Discounting my few podfics, which naturally have low word counts because they have no words, I have 12 poems up on AO3, 9 of which are between 100 and 200 words. It doesn't seem pointful to link any specific one, they're all short.

---

Instead of tagging anyone I hereby encourage literally anybody who read this far and who has fic up on AO3 to do it, it's an interesting exercise. For me it's also very funny--I've been posting fic to AO3 since 2012, so with the way these questions are scaled they tend to duck around almost all of my most recent work and hit the older stuff that's been up longer and had more time to accumulate numbers. My AO3 account is a bed of oysters, and these are their little embarrassing pearls.

[quaranmine]

6, 12, and 25 for the mcytblr fic author asks?

6. Do you like using the mcyt multiverse as a concept? (all SMPS and MC content exists in the same universe)

Yes!! To the point where it will bother me if I can't make them all fit, lol. Usually I like to keep the Dream SMP, Hermitcraft, Evo and Life Series all within the same universe. I like MCC as an event where people from these servers can intersect. Empires though is a problem to me, as it often contradicts things quite heavily due to the characters' lore. So whether or not Empires (S1 or S2) is canon sort of depends on what I am writing. I also often disregard random one-off SMPs as well--I'm not going to try to figure out how Rats SMP fits into Hermitcraft fits into Empires, it's just a nice little series in its own right.

12.Funniest comment you've ever gotten in a piece of work?

I think the funniest is when I posted a Firewatch AU chapter and @ivi-prism sent me a screenshot of her fake-buying plane tickets to Texas on an actual airline website to come kill me

Also I do find it pretty amusing that I am so loudly fixated on fire lookouts that I am aware of more than one person who have started reading my fanfic without even being familiar with Hermitcraft LOL

25.What works and/or authors in the fandom do you recommend?

Well, I've got to rep some of my friends first! Ivi is the creator of this ask game, and you should definitely check out her works -- Off-world vacations is a sweeping dsmp x hermitcraft crossover that has been in the works for years, great for Fundy fans. chrysalizzm is one of the most talented writers I've ever met, and I've seen firsthand the incredible research and depth and soul he's poured into the wasteland series. another excellent writer is prismartist, who probably has something for everyone since they've written life series, hermitcraft, dream smp, qsmp, and empires.

Really though, I need to get better at actually bookmarking my favorite works. I often kudos and then lose them oops

I have to recc definitelynotshouting's hunger au, although I feel like that's quite well known in the fandom already (for good reason)

sunlight over me no matter what i do by odaigahara is a GREAT oneshot, but mind the gore and body horror (grian cuts off his own wings to get rid of watcher influence)

I'm pretty fond of a specific subset of Watcher!Grian stories where the old Grian died and a Watcher/something else just kind of uhhhh took over his body with his memories? So I must recommend tempering by sixteenthdays, as well as You Say You Feel Hollow (and you know it's 'cause you are) by writing_and_worrying. still slightly similar in concept but not quite the same is the body is an object by ruffboi. And it's probably distinctly different enough that it shouldn't even be grouped here, but I also adore Covet by Oceanbreeze7 for a good Creature-y Watcher!Grian.

I like Enderwoah's Jimmy/Bad Boys fics. The two I have in my bookmarks is i've got problems (not just the ones that are little) and i can see the pattern (but i don't know what i can do)

Finally, I don't always blog about hermitshipping but I do sometimes read it, so I'll leave you with a scarian fic that has killed me like three separate times: Baby, just let me bleed in peace by mossman_mothman

[floofiestboy]

Alright, floof. I'm not sorry.

Here's the list.

1, 5, 7 (if you feel like exposing yourself), 10 is an evil question to ask you so I must, 11 because I'm convinced there's neat stuff, 12, 14, 16, 19, 20, 21, 22.

I lied, accidentally. It is twelve questions, I went through the list again and realized I do also want to know your favourite tropes <3

No pressure and all, feel free to pick and choose what you wish to answer :3

Thanks for the ask, Iris 🥺 (ask meme here)

1. What is the first fandom you were ever a part of?

If you define fandom as "first piece of media I got merch of", then I guess Detective Conan since I got DVDs and manga volumes at like, seven or something. If you define fandom as actually participating with other fans, then Percy Jackson- my first fic was written for it.

5. Favorite platonic pairing?

I think Hattori and Shinichi should be platonic life partners. Start up a detective agency or something, you know? Move in together after university? The only problem is finding a compromise between Osaka and Tokyo...

7. Least favorite headcanon?

I refuse to believe Akai returns to America post-BO takedown. I just don't see him as having much attachment to the FBI and the US.

10. Fandom that you've spent the most money on?

Help. This is a hard question. It's in between Detective Conan and Senyuu. I have more DC merch, but it was generally cheaper since it's official... I also have more Senyuu doujinshi and purchased any official Senyuu media out there except for the DVDs. Not to mention purchasing every online Senyuu chapter...

Eh, I'll go with Senyuu, but it's close.

11. Most unique merch you have for a fandom?

In terms of a unique type of merch, these akam gloves:

In terms of overall uniqueness, these one-of-a-kind yuuyona plushies I commissioned from an alibaba merchant:

12. Craziest thing you've ever done as part of a fandom?

I downloaded an app that gave me access to a Chinese payment method so I could send money to an old Chinese scanlator of Suginami on Chinese patreon-like app to see if they still had the high-quality image of an official Suginami illustration that no longer exists on the Internet.

They never responded :c

14. Fandom you keep returning to?

DC...

16. Fandom you'll probably end up joining?

Can't think of anything, honestly. The muses are fickle and strike with little warning.

19. Fanfic you read again and again?

To be honest, I don't re-read fics that often aside from my own to cry over typos I missed. At most I might reread fics after a year or so when my memory of them has gotten blurrier.

Hm, I guess esama's Assassin Creed fics are probably the ones I've reread the most. I reread them whenever I get into an AC mood.

20. All-time favorite fanfic author?

yellow_caballero's D:BH fics were hilarious. Loved their narration so much.

It turned out that Hank was secretly nice, but the sensation of vivid death wishes was novel and rewarding. You could do anything when you secretly hated everything. Connor found vast new avenues of perspective opening before him. Suddenly it was possible to wish death upon anything - the bus when it was running late, the other android in front of him when he accidentally stepped on his toe, any human who shot him a dirty look. The world was his oyster, and the pearl was hatred. It was a slippery slope of deviancy - you start out thinking of witty comebacks to everything Hank said, and before you know it you’re releasing thousands of robots from captivity and helping lead the robot rebellion.

I'm also a big fan of all of Vamillepudding's batfam fics. Comedy gold.

Immediately, Tim perks up. “Yes!” he says, sitting down by the kitchen counter to watch Jason work. “Full disclosure, I already know how to play catch. I wanted my dad to show me, but he didn’t have time, and then they taught us in school, and my teacher thinks I’m really good at it so she wanted me to join Little League, but I didn’t want to so I told her no, and then my mom said I should have joined, but then my dad said I should join the boy scouts instead, and then they got distracted so they hung up and their secretary told me they’d call me again in two weeks.”

Throughout Tim’s monologue, Jason has been slicing vegetables and adding them to a large bowl, and now, while he works on the dressing, he tries to get Tim back on track. “So…you know how to play catch?”

Tim nods. “Yeah, but I like the idea of you teaching me, so let’s recreate that. I’ll pretend like I don’t know anything, and you can correct my posture, and when I finally get it right, you can hug me and tell me you knew I could do it.”

21. Favorite fic trope?

Identity reveals are my guilty pleasure, along with the POV character being unaware of an upcoming identity reveal and the misunderstandings that arise from that...

I also really love soulmates AUs where the soulmate reveal only happens after the ship is already in love. I don't like the idea of them being pressured to be together because of their soulmate marks or something, but I do like the idea of them feeling secure in their existing love thanks to their connection.

22. Least favorite fic trope?

Love at first sight. I'm picky about my ships as it is, I can't get into it if they only "fell" for each other at first from their appearances.

[gascon-en-exil]

What kind of build do you picture Osvald and Partitio having? Any images for reference?

Unlike a lot of other gay guys apparently, I don't keep a portfolio on hand of naked and nearly-naked men. I need to save room for my explicit selfies. Also, I know now that Tumblr can be weird about censoring posts that show too much skin.

Fortunately, text is fine.

Osvald's a bear, period. I think his Champions of the Continent art captures that best.

Very tall - tallest of the travelers - broad-shouldered, strong jawline, stocky, and a ton of muscle from an extensive workout regimen. He's also extremely hairy: chest, back, ass, all of it. All that natural insulation served him well on Frigit Isle, but it's bound to kill him if he ever spends much time on Toto'haha unless he gets creative with ice magic. He will, of course.

Has especially well-defined and squeezable pectorals with prominent - and sensitive! - nipples, so that the fiery breasts/juicy, fuzzy peaches jokes can flow unabated. Now that he's pushing forty and has a sugar daddy determined to make sure he eats well, Osvald will be getting a bit softer all over. Partitio likes this, in part because it's nicer to cuddle with but mostly because it's a sign that his lover is comfortable and well-treated.

Also per my own canon and likely actual canon as well, has an abundance of poorly-managed scars from his time in prison. I have them all over his chest, back, and arms, as well as small but visible scars on his cheeks from the muzzle that were hidden beneath his full beard but can be seen now that he's gone for a more fashionably trimmed look as in his ending CG.

(Beginning with Chapter 12 of What Burns Between Us, where he's dumped the prison clothes and gets his glow-up, that one official piece has been my most consistent visual reference for him. He's so unexpectedly dapper!)

His teeth are noticeably worn, as expected from someone who'd gone five years with no ability to practice oral hygiene of any kind. Osvald is uncomfortable about letting anyone other than Partitio see his scars; if these two ever do get around to a threesome, he'll probably be keeping his shirt on unless the circumstances are perfect.

Has a comically-oversized cock and equally large and heavy balls; Osvald manspreads with purpose, and when he's hard everyone knows it even when he's fully clothed. The fascination with large penises is a relatively recent development in history, so Osvald being surrounded by horny size queens might come off as slightly anachronistic...but he takes it all in stride. Roque has some especially interesting thoughts on Osvald's endowment that I'll be delving into in my next fic re: historical perceptions of penis size and his own insecure, classist snobbery. Partitio however is not a size queen, and while he might be inclined to brag (in select company) about his ability to take the biggest dick in Solistia it's not something he especially prizes about his lover. Still, if anyone could knock him up through sheer willpower and an ungodly amount of semen, it would be Osvald. (I have absolutely no intentions of ever writing mpreg...but we may all enjoy the image of an enraged Papp chasing after Osvald and attempting to castrate him while Partitio and Roque look on in horror, for very different reasons: Partitio because he hates when his family fights and doesn't want Osvald to be maimed, Roque because Osvald's equipment is an unprecedented miracle and deserves to be studied...preferably by him.)

Oh, and both men are uncut per the norm for the time period. This does present some issues when doing sex scenes since I mostly handle circumcised men (as is currently standard in the US) in my offline work, but nonetheless I have enough experience with foreskins to manage.

On to Partitio - I've spent less time physically describing him because most of my first two fics are from his PoV, although points where his build/appearance would deviate from canon have forced me to think of that somewhat.

In general: lean, long legs, second-tallest of the travelers. It's hard to say for sure, but in the group ending CG it looks like the top of Partitio's head would come about up to Osvald's cheeks so he's not quite a full head shorter. It'd be easier to tell if Partitio weren't leaning on Osvald in that pic...but I'll gladly take the incidental gay in exchange.

Several of his pics give off the impression that Partitio's yellow longcoat make him look larger than he really is:

Let's also enjoy him get casually handsy with another man in an illustration meant to showcase a game mechanic.

This helped contribute to my perception of Partitio being big on performative masculinity, possibly to mask his insecurities about being gay, and that if he were in a situation that allowed him to step out of that role, as in Wooing that Drifting Imagery, he'd take to it well and even come to enjoy it.

Per canon he doesn't exercise but stays fit through his work, presumably manual labor and combat. As such his build might be closer to a farmer's or miner's compared to Osvald's developed gym bod (very gradually sliding into dad bod). Later in life, and taking Partitio's wealthy lifestyle and his father's build into account, this may translate into Partitio developing a gut which he won't be very happy about. I've had nothing to say about any body hair Partitio might have aside from Osvald getting a hair while rimming him...although that says very little since even smooth guys tend to have some hair around their assholes. With as moderately hairy as I've made Papp, it's likely that Partitio has some modest amount of chest hair that's just never been worth remarking on. He's also capable of growing a "patchy" beard, as he did in prison before he shaved it off. Papp has a full beard, so I assume Partitio has the genes for it.

Haven't had much occasion to comment on Partitio's junk either. It's presumably average. He does precum quite a bit which has manifested in several sex scenes and allowed Osvald to roleplay Partitio getting "wet" as part of their feminization bit, though.

Partitio's hair color is a little hard to define. It looks black in-game, but some pieces of art give more of a dark brown tinge. I've dodged around this by simply calling it "dark" and thereby suggesting it could be either or both. I've also split the difference with his parents: Papp obviously has black hair, while his wife (who's a recurring character in my third fic) was a brunette.

The question of Partitio's skin tone is an uncommonly interesting one. Some early concept art depicts him with darker skin and features compared to what appears in the finished product.

This is why you'll sometime see fanart more along the lines of how he appears in these sketches.

While I don't have a problem with that and can even appreciate the variation, when it came time for me to stick him in drag in my second fic I had to actually think about that for a bit. My stories already layer in a bunch of homophobia and occasionally sexism and classism into the world of OT2...so trying to work through how (human) race works in Solistia on top of all that just seemed like entirely too much. It's already a bit of an odd sell since no one in-game seems to make much of a distinction between the people of Hinouema (obviously East Asian) and humans elsewhere in the world (Europeans/Euro-Americans). Of course there's also the beastlings...but that's a whole other mess that I really don't want to start reading real-world 19th century analogues into even though the material absolutely is there if someone wanted to do it.

So I settled on Partitio having his in-game skin tone, with the Yellowils being faux-Anglo-American or something along those lines. They still code as foreign in the Brightlands on account of their accents (as seen in canon with Agnea), and Partitio thinks he looks paler than usual with powder on his face, but no one's making any concrete racial or ethnic distinctions.

(Somewhat unrelated final point: I think another incredibly petty contributing factor to my latching onto these guys for my first ever fanfics is that they, as well as Papp and Roque, all have natural hair colors so I don't have to think about blue/purple/white etc. pubes. The most headcanon-y I have to get there is with Roque; I have him having been blond before he went grey, with a lot of insecurities surrounding twink death and such to match.)

[buffintruder]

@allpurposepanda sent me this ask game and since I have writing to procrastinate, I figured I'd just go through and answer all the questions I felt like answering

1. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

I think the most interesting thing I did was write a fic where I tried not to use any figurative language at all in the narration or dialogue from other pov characters. It wasn't as hard as I was expecting (actually, it was harder to determine what counted as figurative and what counted as a word simply having multiple meanings, one more concrete than the other) and I think it turned out pretty okay. I'd do it again if I wrote from this pov again or someone similar, but I don't think I'd seek it out

2. How many fics did you work on this year? (They don’t have to be finished or published!)

About 18 if I counted correctly! 7 have been posted, 1 is in the process of posting, and 10 are unposted. 9 are brand new while 9 are continuations of wips from previous years

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

I'm not sure. I guess I've been thinking about the relation between a writer and the audience and feedback and community support a lot (I went from a bigger fandom to a smaller fandom, and the decrease in comments and people to talk to about my fics hit my motivation harder than I was expecting)

4. What piece of media inspired you the most?

I'm not sure, but I think I wrote the most fic for Donbrothers or Kamen Rider

5. What fandom(s) did you write for this year?

8 fandoms: Kamen Rider Blade (6), Kamen Rider W (1), Kamen Rider Drive (1), Changerion (1), Donbrothers (3), Ace Attorney (4), the Watchmaker of Filigree Street (2), and Les Miserables (1)

6. What ship(s) captured your heart?

Nothing new from last year, but Hajime/Kenzaki from Blade and Sonoi/Momoi from Donbrothers

7. What character(s) captured your heart?

Also nothing new, but Haruka from Donbrothers and Wakana from Kamen Rider W

8. Did you write for a new fandom or ship this year?

Donbrothers is new because I was waiting for the show to finish airing before I started writing anything for it. Changerion I only watched this year, so that's also new

9. What fic meant the most to you to write?

I am obsessed with my Blade soul nemesis au and my Ace Attorney Trickster au, and I don't have any fics that like particularly hit close to home for me or anything. However, I do think the winner would have to be Truer than Truth because idk. It was difficult and it feels like one of the best things I've written (definitely the best shorter fic I've written) and just had a lot of thought go into it

10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

Definitely my soul nemesis au. Tbh I have enjoyed working on it so much I started posting it probably like a good 6 months later than I could have so I could work on it more, and it's also taking me forever to upload the chapters despite the fic being finished because I want to keep working on it (that and it has 0 comments, so I feel like no one is too invested other than the people I know personally, so I can take my time with it and get distracted from it)

11. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

To Turn the World Upside Down is maybe the best long fic I've written, and finishing it felt like the end of the journey. However, I'm pretty sure I wrote the ending in 2022 (I just finished the editing in 2023), so I'll also put in Truer than Truth for the reasons answered in the next question

12. What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it?

Definitely Truer than Truth. I mentioned I wrote a fic without figurative language, and this was the first fic in the series where I tried to write a fic with a ton of figurative language. Coming up with symbolism related to classic Japanese Buddhist literature that isn't too heavy handed is hard! Coming up prose with metaphors and pretty descriptions that doesn't sound unbearably flowery is hard! Also mapping out the character of progression of Sonoi, someone who both knows a lot about humans and also doesn't, in a way that makes sense and doesn't make him more ignorant than he is in canon is hard!

13. What fic was the easiest to write?

Trust Fall. I wrote probably about half of it in one day and finished writing+editing it in probably around 2 weeks which is insanely fast for me. It just sort of came out of me, idk man

14. What were your shortest and longest fics this year?

Technically Meetings is the longest fic (90k words), but that was originally meant to be a trilogy that I wrote most of years ago and just polished and posted this year, so I'm counting To Turn the World Upside Down (73k words) instead because it's finished and I like it more.

Shortest is Trust Fall (4k words)

15. Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023

This is hard because I do like a lot of the fics I wrote and posted in 2023. However, I've talked a lot (and will continue to talk) about my top 3 fics in this ask game, but one fic that will not be mentioned outside of this that I think is good is Across the River of Stars.

It's an outsider pov Cowherd and Weaver au where I think I did a good job with a sort of melancholic atmosphere

16. What were you go-to writing songs?

I don't listen to music a lot while writing, but when I do it's probably the How To Train Your Dragon soundtrack (movies 1-3), the Witcher 3 soundtrack, or the Black Sails soundtrack

17. What were your go-to writing snacks?

I don't think I have one. I don't particularly snack while writing, and if I do, I'll just eat whatever

18. What was the hardest fic to title?

Afterwards. I needed something short and simple and to the point to contrast the long and more poetic "truer than truth are those beautiful lies", but I still think it's a bit meh and doesn't really do much for the fic

19. Share your favorite opening line

Here is a truth: Momoi Tarou is like the sky, impossibly vast and unreachable; and Sonoi is like the sea, forever gazing up, reflecting that same blue.

This wasn't initially the beginning line (I switched around a lot of stuffin this fic), and the whole "here is a truth, here is a lie" bit was a totally unexpected unplanned bit that just happened when I started writing it. However, I'm pleased with how it turned out, and also the particular way in which I took a line from the show (Sonoi saying "we are like the sky and the sea") and expanding a bit on it and how the two of them individually relate to that

20. Share your favorite ending line

Okay technically it's 2 lines from Trust Fall, but it's still my favorite:

(All too soon, when the end does come, Kenzaki looks at Hajime and smiles like a blade to the heart and says, “See, I said that you could trust me to keep this hope of yours alive.” And Hajime does not have the time to tell him that no one has ever lied to him so cruelly before.)

It's good because of the misunderstanding. Kenzaki is sacrificing himself so Hajime can keep living, but of course that also really sucks on Hajime's end. I just think seeing something from the pov of the person/people left behind when someone sacrifices themselves is so juicy. Also Kenzaki's symbol is a blade while Hajime's is a heart, so the smile is from Blade to Heart but also metaphorically like being stabbed hahaha (i think i'm so clever when i do symbolism 101)

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

This is hard. Definitely, my favorite piece of dialogue comes from To Turn the World Upside Down because tbh I think that fic has some of the best written dialogue in anything I've ever written, but I'm not sure I could pick out something among it. I just went with the last scene because I am genuinely proud, like I don't normally like writing endings and it's especially hard in a long fic with a lot of build up, but I think I did well on this one. Also it's probably one of the parts I worked most on in 2023 (rather than 2022)

“I think you should do it, daddy,” Trucy says. Surprised, Phoenix looks up to see his daughter staring at him, her face set firmly. Of all the people who would encourage him to retake the exam, he hadn’t thought it would be her. She has never known him as a lawyer. “What? Why?” “You never stopped being a lawyer,” she says, as if it’s that simple. “Sure, officially, they took that away from you. But deep down, you’ve always been one.” “What?” Phoenix scoffs, something small and hopeful curling into a cold and defensive ball deep in his chest. “Prove it.” Trucy raises her eyebrows at him. “Prove it? Do I need physical evidence for it so that it may be accepted in the court of Phoenix Wright, or is pointing out your contradiction enough?” Phoenix flushes. “Okay, okay, point taken.” “She’s right,” Miles says quietly. “It’s your life to live, but please—at least consider it.” From the moment you asked, there was no question of the answer, Phoenix thinks. I became a lawyer for you once, I would do it a second time, as many times as you needed me to. “Are you sure about it?” Phoenix asks. “I mean, you know what it was like the first time I was a lawyer. You know the kind of shit that follows me. I was a lawyer for just two and a half years the first time, and look at the kind of mess I left behind me.” Miles smiles at him, so fond it hurts. “You say that as if that’s not exactly what I want. I want you back in the courthouse, Trickster and all. It all needs a good shaking up, don’t you think?” It was never meant to be about the suffering, the Trickster had said about their chaos. There already is suffering stuck in between each clean-cut brick of the legal system, trapped in the very foundation and everything that has grown on top of it. Maybe it’s time to knock things around and see what shakes loose, to see what can be built anew from the rubble. “Alright,” Phoenix says, and the way Miles and Trucy’s eyes light up already makes it all worth it. “I’ll do it. Let’s go turn turn the legal world upside down.”

22. Share an excerpt from your favorite scene

Tbh I could probably also post a bit from the Trickster au, but just to switch it up here's a sneak peak from my soul nemesis au. I was so excited to write this scene that it's the only one I skipped ahead to write. This scene (earlier parts of it, not what's here) is also the reason why I chose the mechanics for soul nemeses that I did, like I've been hyping up this scene almost since I first had the idea for the fic, and it's still one of my favorites

“Did...” Gou started. “Did he love you too?” Kenzaki thought about the way Hajime kissed back, the way his whole face softened as he smiled at Kenzaki, the way he looked like his heart was shattering when Kenzaki had last seen him, the way he had written don't go in his letter. “I think—maybe. But it doesn’t matter. I had to leave, so he could live out his life.” For the whole time that Kenzaki had known him, Gou had been all bright smiles and wild hand gestures. Even as the conversation took a turn for the more serious, his face had been an open book, but now his face turned still and unreadable. “It’s not worth it.” “What?” demanded Kenzaki. “I’ve been there,” Gou said, and now he looked angry. “Someone sacrificed himself for me, so I could live my life. And I will never forgive him for that, because if I had the choice, I would choose him over me every time. I may not have met Masaki myself, but I'm sure that he would rather have you in his life no matter what hardships. You can still go back—” “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kenzaki snapped, anger curling defensively around him. He knew that. He knew he was hurting Hajime, that it had destroyed him to be left behind. It had destroyed Kenzaki to leave. But he had chosen to defy fate, and this was their punishment. “It’s impossible.” "What's impossible? You're both still alive, aren't you?" "He might as well be dead, for all the difference it makes to me,” Kenzaki snapped. Maybe if Hajime had been dead it would hurt less. “There is no other choice.” Gou stared back at him, his expression set stubbornly on his face. He was so young, Kenzaki thought all of a sudden. Kenzaki had been like that too over a decade ago when he was around Gou’s age, so stubbornly set on how things should be, as if he could bend the universe into shape through sheer force of will. Kenzaki sighed, and let the anger drain from him. He would have had those same thoughts, and it wasn’t like Gou had any idea of the impossible circumstances that kept him and Hajime apart. “It's too late now. I would go back, if I could. And he would track me down across the world, if he could." “Right,” Gou said, and Kenzaki wondered if he felt the same envy towards him. Gou hadn’t specified what sacrifice had been made for him, but the implication was clear. At least Hajime was still alive. At least he was out there somewhere that Kenzaki could return to, technically. Gou couldn't know that the potential only made the separation ache more, he couldn't know that the impossible situation that trapped them went far beyond ordinary human concerns. “I’m sorry for your loss,” Kenzaki said, as much of an acquiescence as he could make. “Thanks,” Gou said, his mouth twisting. “I... don’t know if he’s gone for good though. That’s actually why I’m here. Trying to do some research to bring him back.” “Are there good medical facilities here?” Kenzaki asked, confused. Maybe Gou's person was in a coma or something? Gou shrugged. “Not particularly. I’m here more for the tech stuff.” “I hope it succeeds,” Kenzaki said, not entirely sure what to say. “Thank you,” Gou said, sounding tired. “And I hope you find someway around whatever’s keeping you two apart.” It was impossible, but Kenzaki smiled and nodded anyway. “If I ever run into him, do you want me to pass on a message?” Gou asked. What could Kenzaki say that Hajime did not already know, and that would not hurt him more to hear? “Just that I am well,” Kenzaki said at last. “And that I like his book. And... I still miss him.” Gou nodded. “I’m going to get my friend back,” he said, with all the confidence and naivety of a twenty year old. “So you better not give up on yours, alright?” “I never will,” Kenzaki said. And Gou smiled because he did not yet know that it was the hope that destroyed you.

23. Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?

There are definitely many of these, but I'd have to go through my fics again to figure it out and that would take a while so I'm skipping this

24. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

I mentioned earlier that there's a bit in Truer than Truth where between each scene it goes like "Here is a truth: [...] Here is a lie: [...]", or in the other order (lie first then truth) that is vaguely related to the themes of that scene, and I absolutely was not expecting.

It ended up changing the story quite a bit. I was originally going to have the story alternate povs, but something like this could only work from Sonoi's pov, and I wasn't sure how to juggle things around to make it work. Because I also wanted to have it alternate between whether it starts with a truth or a lie, I had to add two scenes in order to make the pattern work when I realized that some of the truths and lies would work better flipped around. And I think the story is better off with those added scenes to fill in something that would have been a jump otherwise

Also, it just generally affected the tone, since I had to think about the themes of the scene to write those bits, and they're very heavy in symbolism and metaphor that I could reuse throughout the fic

25. What did you use to write? (e.g. writing programs, paper & pen, etc.)

Mostly google docs and occasionally a notebook and pen. I have occasionally written a bit on my notes app of my phone if i couldn't get to google docs for whatever reason, but i don't think i did this year

26. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

The writing spree during which I wrote the first half of Trust Fall. I was feeling a bit shitty and purposeless at the time, but I had an idea brewing in the back of my head for awhile, and the stars aligned so the idea solidified and I wrote like 2k words in one day. I remember feeling afterwards that I really love writing sometimes and maybe if I go too long without doing it, it makes me worse

27. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

Not really? Maybe tell all my friends about it

28. How did you recharge between fics?

I don't think this question applies to my writing style tbh. I don't have "in between fics" (i am always working on a fic) and I switch between them a lot, so I don't really get worn out by them. I recharge between writing sessions I suppose?? I'm not actually sure how I'm supposed to answer this question

29. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

I do try to thank the people involved in me writing a fic in any way at the beginning of each fic, but in a general sense, I would thank all the friends and acquaintances who encouraged me to write whenever I was like "maybe this is stupid" and all the people who listened to me go "wait I have the coolest idea for a fic, let me tell you about it" and all the people who helped answer my questions from everything between 'does this sound like semi-realistic attraction or is it just weird' to 'what are traffic-related superhero/supervillain names.' And particularly to @magpiedragon who bears the brunt of all of this

30. What’s something that you want to write in 2024?

I still have that one Kamen Rider Blade post canon idea that crosses over with Star Trek ds9. Also some Kamen Rider Agito ideas I want to get to at some point, but who knows if I ever will

[nocaptainonthisship]

I understand the point of your post but it hurts alot when your fics don't get the kind of kudos or comments other writers fics do.

I completely hear you on this, nonny.

Not comparing myself to other writers is something I am trying to get better at every single day. Its hard! You start to wonder if people aren't reading because there is something wrong with you, or with the way you write. I have to say, I don't think that's true at all.

I think a lot about that old biblical phrase, "there is nothing new under the sun." I think, too, about "there are no new stories, only new writers." Partly, its because I write fanfiction. Partly its because I'm repeatedly drawn to adaptations of older works. Partly its because my number one response to watching marvel movies was usually saying "Cool story, bro, but what if it was about a woman??" and then, a couple years later saying, "Ok, but maybe not like That."

But I get to think about the other implications of that, too. No story I ever tell will be completely 100% from my own imagination. I am the sum total of all my parts. Every book I read and every movie or tv show or play I've seen lives inside me, the parts that most interested me broken down and distilled and recombined to be something that feels entirely my own.

What makes my writing special is ME.

I wrote my first piece of fanfic when I was 12. It was a songfic(Evanescence's Bring Me Back to Life, just in case you were worried I wasn't a baby emo) and it was angsty as all hell(some things never change I guess.) A few people read it. A few even dropped nice little notes about it. I can't tell you if it was actually any good, because that forum has been dead for a long time, and the desktop at my parents house has been replaced in the almost 20 years since. I suspect it was fairly terrible, though. I mean, I was 12.

I wrote a little more as I got into high school, before I started telling myself to grow out of fanfic(don't worry, I also grew out of that.) But I kept writing, mostly just for me. I kept getting better. I kept becoming more and more confident in my own voice and what it is I can bring to the table.

Which, I guess, brings me at long last to my point. I'm not some superwriter who doesn't get a burst of joy when someone leaves a comment on one of my fics. I LOVE connecting with people and knowing that my words touched someone's life in a positive way. But I don't need it. I'm going to write for myself(and the 6 psychos in my dms.) I'm going to write things I can be proud of, things I can stand back and say, "I did that!" I don't need to be the most popular, I simply need to be the best version of myself.

There is always going to be someone out there who is more popular than me.

But there is never going to be another me.

There is never going to be another YOU.

Be the best you that you can be. Tell the stories that you want to tell, not the ones you think will get the most engagement.

What you bring to the table is important, no matter how many people comment.

Keep writing, keep being you. You will find your people, I promise. I didn't find the 6 psychos until my 30s. There was a time I thought no one at all would ever like my words. As much as I enjoy being right, I'm so glad to have been proved wrong on this one.

[unfriendlyamazon]

20 question writer meme

love to do these thank you for taggin gme @alectoperdita

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

51 fics (plus a secret one when i made a fire emblem ao3)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

222,579 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

YGO is my main one, but i'd really like to break into stardew valley and aforementioned fire emblem 3 houses

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Baby Dragon (no surprise there)

Liking You and Me

Sweater Weather

In Awe of Flowers

A Hand to Hold

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do my very best to respond to comments because they make me so happy but sometimes if the fic is really old or I just don't feel like it I may not.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really write a lot of angsty fics. Probably my angstiest work over all is Competitionverse and No Such Thing As A Free Lunch specifically since that's sort of about how things don't work. I have some angstier stuff in the works because I really want to dig into some Wheeler trauma. Did I ever post my vampire Joey origin on here? That's probably the saddest thing I've ever written.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably when I wrote Seto proposing to Joey

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a few comments especially since I write trans characters and a weird one on my fire emblem fic but I'm not afraid to delete.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I didn't used to! It was more I didn't trust my abilities but now I've gotten lots of practice and I find smut easiest to write. It has a inherent climax.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I write a lot of AUs but have yet to write a crossover. Maybe I should. Maybe it's time for some characters to meet each other.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I bounce ideas off @kaijous all the time and I would say we've co-written some stuff, though I don't think any of it's published.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

KaiJou 4 Eva

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Honestly back in the day I used to start so many fics I never finished which is why I've focused on one shots or series so at least I have something complete. I have a restaurant au in mind that's sort of based on The Bear and I'd really like to dig into it but it just seems like so much work. Of my published ones... Star Trek AU I'm sorry I abandoned you.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at natural dialogue and I hope my conversations flow. One thing I like to do and hopefully I'm good at is having characters react without recognizing their feelings. Especially with Seto Kaiba I try my best to write around the actual emotion he's experiencing because I don't think he'd recognize it. I think of this piece of writing advice every day of my life.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I write from third person limited perspective and I really could have a more distinct voice for each character. I'm also a bit repetitive I know.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's something I struggle with especially when I write explicitly international characters. I very rarely write out non-English dialogue partially because I don't want to screw it up, and I go back and forth on italicizing non-English dialogue which I have some thoughts and feelings on that have been explained better by other people. I think especially with a Japanese speaking cast I've taken some notes from webcomics actually, but ultimately if the audience is meant to understand there's no reason to obscure it. In fact the only fic I have done another language for a fic is one where I had Seto speaking Vulcan, which is a made up language that I don't feel as strongly about screwing up.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Honestly... I think it might be YuGiOh. A long, long, long time ago I had friends posting script style fanfiction on DeviantArt and I joined in on the fun. The first fandoms I was really part of and writing fic for was Teen Titans and Avatar: the Last Airbender. Zutara and Raven/BB, in case it wasn't completely obvious.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oh boy this is a tough one. Baby Dragon is a favorite of mine, as is In Awe of Flowers, but to be honest I think it might be Sons. It's not my most polished piece but I managed to make a fic out of the feelings I had around Grandpa and Joey that carries a lot of emotional weight for me.

To keep it going I'm gonna tag @kaijous @luxielovesparkles and whoever else wants to do it. i've been massively depressed lately but i'm crawling out of my hole and i think it's time to write again...