#this is the problem when someone who hates vegetables tries to cook with them. i literally have no idea how to prepare them

[katya-goncharov]

i just tried to invent a stir fry with chicken and pineapple and sweet potato chunks even though i've never made stiry fry before, and it did NOT go well

[tru-3-beauty]

My Beloved Pet Chapter 1

The rain pours down from the sky onto my car.  I'm on my way home after another dull day at work: same old problems, same old tolerance to it.  I don’t know why I even bother.  Nothing ever changes.  I hate my life.  My life would be much better if I had someone to share it with a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner.  I don’t care.  I am just tired of being alone.

My friends have tried to set up blind dates for me, but they were either still living with their parents, working a dead-end job, or way below my standards.  It was ridiculous how many of them only wanted a casual hookup.  I almost ran out of the date when a girl kept saying everyone kept abandoning her and needed a place to stay.  I am not a charity.  It was clear to everyone but her that she was the problem.

I made it to my apartment building.  It is nothing special—a regular two-story building in an okay neighborhood.  We are allowed to decorate our doors.  Some put flowers on, others elaborate designs.  I only put a sign with my name on it.  My neighbor likes to dress his door up for each holiday.

He is a nice older man. However, he would sometimes say the strangest things.  He must have lost his mind at one point in life.  Just last week, he told me about someone stalking outside the apartment complex.  

After running in a desperate attempt to stay dry, I made it to my room.  I looked at my name on the sign as I unlocked the door.  Sharon Welch.  It's still my maiden name.  There is no new last name or a partner.  It makes me sad.  I am almost 30 years old, and I am still single.  It is just not fair.  What is wrong with me?

I can't think about it right now.  I need to prepare dinner for tonight and the next few nights.  My apartment feels empty.  I don't know why I have such lousy luck regarding my love life.  The only way I can feel companionship is in my dreams.  

Those dreams are always so vivid like it is real life.  I keep seeing this male figure.  He treats me so gently and lovingly.  He is the perfect gentleman.  Why can't I get it in reality?  Sometimes, he would try to kiss me and take it further, but I always pushed him away and shook my head no.  I don't know what he looks like, but just the feeling of him is enough for me.

He usually visits my dreams twice a week.  After every visit, I would feel a little extra tired even though I had a good night's sleep.  It does not matter.  I have used him as an example of what I want in my future boyfriend or girlfriend.  He is what those potential suitors need to be.

My friends just don't get it. I should distance myself from them. They will never understand me.  They are the ones who set me up on those terrible blind dates in the first place.  I bet they were trying to hurt me for some reason.  Well, some friends they sure are.

After changing into more comfortable clothes, I start making my suppers.  Opening the fridge, I can see ingredients for something, like pasta with mixed vegetables.  That could work.  And I will have plenty of leftovers.  I can even have the leftovers for lunches at work.  It is always nice to think ahead.  I'm not too fond of it when Murphy's law takes effect.  Things happening that are out of your control?  No, thank you.

As I started getting the pot ready, I heard a soft bang.  I turned my head to look but saw nothing out of the ordinary.  I shrugged and continued with the task at hand.  It must have been nothing.  It wasn't the first time I heard some strange sound.  Those noises have been going on for quite a while. Are the pipes acting up?

It doesn't matter.  All I need to focus on is my meal prep.  I started pouring in the pasta noodles when what felt like arms wrapped around my midsection.  I try to turn my head, but something holds it. I must focus only on what is before me.  So that is what I did.  I need to focus on cooking right now.

When I had to reach for a strainer to filter out the water, I could not move to get it.

"W-Why can't I m-move?" I ask myself.  I wouldn't say I like it when I talk.  If I chose it, I would be mute.  It is because of my stuttering.  It has been a problem since junior high.

My peers would make fun of my voice.  They would even try to mimic my voice after I answered a question they asked me.  It made me feel very self-conscious.  It resulted in me developing my stutter, which made the teasing worse.  Since then, I have only talked if it is planned and practiced what I will say.  Even when I am home alone, I choose to stay silent.  So it came as a surprise what I said out loud next.

“I ne-need to mo-move!” I desperately called out.  That is when the invisible binds slowly let me go.  I was bewildered.  Why, now, was I released?  What was holding me in place?  And why was I not released until I stated that it had to?  It all did not make sense.

I finished making dinner with plenty of leftovers for the next few days.  I grabbed a serving for my supper and sat in front of the TV to see what was on.

Flipping through the channels was getting boring, and at one point, I found out that one of my favorite movies was on.  The movie is about a human settler girl being the target of affection from a dark entity.  He tries to make the girl his bride.  In the end, she was able to get rid of him and live happily with the handsome monster hunter who helped her.

I will always love this story.  It makes me wish I could have that kind of luck.  The idea of some powerful being falling madly in love with me sounds good right now.  Or just being the object of desire for someone would be nice.  But that is not my life.  I am forever alone in this miserable world.

Once the movie ended, I put away my leftovers and went to bed.  Maybe I will dream about my perfect gentleman again.  I know he can make this dull day a little better.  

As soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell fast asleep.

[ginnyweatherby]

random Encanto headcanons that I don't know what else to do with

When Julieta had pregnancy cravings, she made it everyone's problem. Who knew pickles and ice cream were so good for burns?

If one of the babies couldn't sleep, Agustin often would take them into a quiet room and softly play lullabies on the piano, with the baby in his lap, or resting on his shoulder.

Luisa, Dolores, and Mirabel loved it the most, and it would put them to sleep instantly.

Dolores' room isn't entirely soundproof, but there is a specific area that is, so if she needs a minute of peace she can chill in there. This is also where her bed is.

This is a popular hangout whenever someone has juicy gossip.

She doesn't always like it when it's too quiet though, it feels wrong. Sometimes instead of her bed, she'll snuggle up on the window seat and listen to the sounds of the Encanto to lull her to sleep.

This is how she listens to Mariano's poetry. While she hears a lot, if she really focuses she can hone in on specific sounds.

His voice is her favorite.

Camilo does every school play, and almost always gets the lead, since he can always look the part.

Both Camilo and Mirabel are the go-to town babysitters.

Luisa loves stuffed animals. Her dad gets her one every year on her birthday, and she sleeps in a giant pile of them.

One time Julieta came to wake her up, and could barely find her daughter in the giant mountain of stuffed toys.

Luisa is a total daddy's girl. Whenever she gets too stressed, she can always count on her dad to give her a comforting hug or to clumsily braid her hair. It always ends up looking horrible, but she doesn't mind. Isabela can always fix it later.

She may be bigger than him, but she's still his little girl, and he often reminds her of this.

Mirabel always handmakes birthday presents. Whether it's embroidering delicate handwork onto a handkerchief for Agustin, or painting a picture frame for Abuela, you can always count on her gifts to be heartfelt and made with love.

Abuela isn't always as cruel to Mirabel as seen in the movie.

She's tough on her, and could definitely use some tact, but she still loves her granddaughter very much, and does tell her so.

Albeit not as often as she should.

Isabela names her succulents, as if they were pets.

She grows unusual herbs and vegetables that can't easily be found in the market for Julieta's recipes.

She has a particular fascination for carnivorous plants. It's not concerning at all.

While Pepa's emotions change the weather, she can control them if she really tries to.

If the crops are too dry, she is able to make it rain at-will, she just has to focus.

Unfortunately she has yet to perfect the skill, just because she was never really allowed to practice much, always trying to repress the brunt of her emotions.

The triplets were nothing but chaos as kids.

Bruno and Pepa were the most toxic pair. They'd either be getting along great and scheming to pull a prank on their sister, or squaring up with each other in the hallway for absolutely no reason. There was no in between.

Alma had to teach Julieta how to cook, because even though they technically worked - no one in town wanted to eat another mudpie.

Felix and Dolores enjoy to cook. While Julieta does do a majority of the cooking, sometimes they take over to give her a break.

Agustin is actually self-sufficent in the kitchen, but no one trusts him near the stove enough to let him cook often.

He makes a mean hot chocolate though. Maybe better than Julieta's. Don't tell her that though.

Alma has the best family recipes, and often helps Julieta prepare them, especially for holidays.

Luisa hates spiders. Antonio tries to tell her they're harmless, even translating for them, but to no avail. She absolutely hates them.

Camilo kills them for her, but never in front of Antonio. He found that out the hard way.

Antonio cried the first time he stepped on a bug after he got his gift. It was disturbing to hear.

He eventually stopped eating meat altogether, because talking with animals while eating their bretheren just felt... wrong.

Agustin is a cat person.

Julieta has two left feet when she dances, but Agustin still insists on twirling her through the house, even if it ends up with them both in a heap on the floor. Ulterior motives.

Pepa and Felix have a canopy over their bed, but it's more like a tarp. Felix was tired of waking up in a puddle, and installed it.

Pepa is more upset she hadn't thought of it before.

Bruno enjoys drawing.

He's actually pretty artistic, but doesn't often show off his work.

Mirabel is horrible at drawing however, which is frustrating when she's trying to visualize a new sewing design.

In these cases, she'll describe what she's invisioning, and Bruno draws them.

Alma taught all her granddaughters how to sew (or at least mend), but Mirabel was the only one to take much of a liking to it.

She makes all kinds of intricate embroidery work, while Isabela can barely sew a button back on.

Some of the "prophecies" that caused the town to reject Bruno weren't even visions.

Like that guy with the gut? He didn't see that, he just made a comment on the guy's poor diet.

Same with the fish lady. He could tell the fish was sick, and recommended a vet or else it might die.

Dolores knits.

Morning people: Alma, Julieta, Luisa, Dolores, Antonio, Felix

Would sleep until noon if they could: Pepa, Bruno, Isabela, Mirabel, Agustin, Camilo

Julieta is very touchy-feely. Whether it's hugs, kisses, handholding, cuddles, etc. she loves it. If Juli loves you, you'll know by the amount of kisses you receive.

Pepa and Felix knew they were pregnant first, but Isabela was born first. They're just better at tracking these things.

Mirabel was a rainbow baby. A true miracle.

[jade-parcels]

The genshin men: fatherhood edition

With: Childe, Zhongli, Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao, Venti, Albedo and Baizhu

—————————

Childe:

Ajax loves kids and he’ll make that known early on in your relationship

Like...This man wants five or more kids but he’ll settle for four. He dreams of a big family, getting to surround himself with you and your kids every night for family dinners, everyone getting together for big birthday parties or reunions! That’s his dream life! Plus, in Snezhnaya, most families have more than two kids anyways

He will cry so hard when his babies are placed in his arms for the first time, I mean he’s a mess. Nose is running, eyes puffy, lost of sniffling lmao he is so excited to be a dad!! Don’t you dare tell the other Harbingers how much he cried...What do you mean you took a picture when he wasn’t looking??? Hey??!?!

With his obscene amount of mora, he’ll buy a huge house that will accommodate everyone. Anything you want will be purchased that day or within 48 hours, the same goes for the kids

But they’ll all learn to be thankful for what they have. They’ll learn to fight, fish and speak multiple languages. He has high expectations but let’s face it, he’ll be proud of them no matter what

You’re gonna have to be the one to put your foot down though because Ajax doesn’t enjoy being the ‘mean parent’, he has trouble saying no to the kiddos which can create some tension between you and your husband. He has good intentions of course!! He doesn’t wanna say no to those cute, freckled faces!!

Zhongli:

Zhongli is nervous about having kids because he’s immortal. So this will go one of two ways. 1. You have the baby and the baby ends up not being immortal (or you adopt a baby who is not immortal) Then he loses you both. OR 2. You have the baby and it inherits his immortality and becomes an adeptus. Now he and the baby will have to watch you die while they both life forever.

Either way...It hurts him to think about because he loves you!! He wants to have a family with you!! He wants to give you that perfect family life every human desires!! But he’s torn

You two will just have to figure it out.

Zhongli will be a strong, male figure for your kid(s) and he will instill that traditional kindness and respect into their behavior. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ always, always offer to help someone who needs it, do good deeds and you will feel accomplished, be the best you you can be, alway try your hardest because that’s all that matters

He will be sure that your kid(s) always feel loved ALWAYS. Zhongli will tell them stories, cook for them, take them to school, anything that needs to be done. When you’ve had a rough day, he’ll step in to take over for the night without being asked. He shows interest in everything your kid(s) like and he will do his damn best to display every piece of artwork they make or every pretty rock they find

He...will make a great dad :’)

Kaeya:

Ooooh brother, at first Kaeya says no he doesn’t want kids but...Then he starts thinking about it

He observes the happy families that walk around the cobblestone streets of Mondstadt, how the kiddos smile and laugh with their parents. He’ll patrol in the afternoons, usually rounding the corner just in time to see the city’s kids leave school for the day, watching as they all run down the street to go home to their parents or play in the fountain together...Yeah, that really warms his heart

He’d want one or two kids, preferably two to avoid an only child being lonely. He isn’t on the best terms with Diluc but he can admit that they had a great childhood together, playing at the winery and running around as brothers do

Kaeya would be a very patient, understanding father. He doesn’t have much of a temper so he’d use the kids’ mistakes as learning opportunities instead of getting upset at them

He would be obsessed with the kids when they’re babies though oh man if you thought you had baby fever, he has it times ten! He loves holding the baby, watching with a twinkling eye as his baby grasps his thumb with its tiny hand... adorable

And if your kids inherited his eyes, his star shaped pupils that his ancestors passed down to him...He’s gonna get emotional

Everyone at the knights’ headquarters and the Angel’s Share will get sick of him REALLY fast cause he won’t stop bragging about how cute and smart his kids are lmao

Diluc:

Diluc would be such a soft dad don’t even get me started

He loves you so much of course he wants to have kids with you! Is that even a question?? He won’t be the one to bring it up unless he gets the feeling that you want kids but once you ask, he’ll agree so fast

He’ll be grateful to even have one kid with you :’) and he’ll be fine with however many kids YOU want. You want one kid? Perfect! You want four? No problem, the manor is big enough for ten! You...you want ten...? Time to hire some more maids then lmao

Diluc is a worry wart though, he’ll be afraid to hold the baby, feed it, bathe it, he’s terrified of hurting the baby or the baby suddenly hating him. So just help him out!! Cause when he gets comfortable with the baby, he’ll be in full dad mode

He isn’t embarrassed to walk around the manor, conducting business with a baby strapped to his chest!

Diluc is a very kind, gentle dad who will always offer helpful solutions to the kiddos’ problems. He’ll make sure all of their needs are met while also trying to avoid spoiling them... Too much... There will be a fair amount of spoiling...

His own father wasn’t too affectionate with him so that’s why he’ll be affectionate with his kids! Hugs and kisses when he tucks them in at night, big dad hugs when they get home from school, holding their hands in the busy streets of Mondstadt. His father was a great dad! He just aims to be better.

Xiao:

Like Zhongli, he worries about the mortality thing. Since he’s an Adeptus, his kid will certainly be an Adeptus too if you have kids together.

He also worries that his kid(s) will hate him. His duty is to kill demons which means that rain or shine, holidays, special occasions, day or night he’s gotta be ready to go slaughter demonic beings. So he’ll inevitably miss out on important stages in the kiddos’ lives

And admittedly... He’ll be scared of his kids lmao

They’re screaming, crying, barfing, pooping, laughing, screaming again...He can’t predict their behavior. It’s unsettling. All of that goes away one night when you sit him down and place your sleeping baby in his arms. His eyes go wide...And he just watches. This tiny, little baby...Feels no fear for him. It’s comforted by his presence. He almost cries...ALMOST

He’s still pretty much the same Xiao we all know and love but now he has a kid. “Slaying demons is what I do...Hey, go back inside and finish your dinner. Yes, even your vegetables. I don’t care that you don’t like them-...Fine. Don’t tell your mother, bring them to me. I’ll eat them” cute :)

He’s a protective dad and husband, he’d never let anyone or anything harm his beloved family

Venti:

Venti....does not want kids. He thinks they’re cute! He likes the idea of kids but he knows he wouldn’t enjoy actually having kids

You two already have so much fun together!! You don’t need a kid!! You guys have dogs!! Dogs are like kids! But they’re more independent and they’re cuter!

He’ll feel bad if you want kids and he doesn’t, he really will! But it’ll be nearly impossible to convince him cause he’s made his mind up :/

Venti’ll make it up to you somehow though, he’ll take you out more and show you all of the adventures you guys can have if there aren’t kids around

But for the sake of fatherhood headcanons, let’s pretend he gave in. Venti would be a very caring dad. He would cuddle the hell out of this kiddo and sing to them :’) the only problem is that Venti doesn’t like being tethered to one place for too long so he tends to take off and not come back for a few days... :(

Albedo:

Albedo wants kids mostly just to see what fatherhood would be like. He’s always been curious about what that part of his life would be like so why not have a kid

He’d be good with one kid, two at most cause after practically raising Klee, he knows how some kids can be and...He doesn’t have the mental capacity for more than two kids at a time lmao

He tries his best to show more emotion in his face. We all know he usually sits like this 😐 and goes ‘wow im so happy right now’. If you didn’t know him, you’d think he was bored out of his mind right? So he’s gotta work on that. And when he musters up a smile for the baby and it smiles back at him????? Yeah...He’s gonna try to smile a lot more now

He definitely softens up once he becomes a dad, he shows emotion more than he used to and surprisingly, he takes time off of work. Shocker, I know! He decides that he’s been in the lab long enough and that he wants to be able to be there for these moments with you and his kid(s) :’) :’) He trusts Sucrose and Timaeus to take over for him for a couple hours

He keeps a journal for each kid and writes down the date and time they have their firsts or just interesting things they do ->

- 8/4: Baby sees and plays with a cat for the first time

- 9/5: Baby smacked me in the face and laughed so hard she threw up

-9/12: Baby learns that pulling my hair gets my attention. She now continues to do so

-10/15: Baby stays at Aunt Klee’s house for the first time

Baizhu:

Baizhu really loves kids, he works with them a lot and he considers Qiqi to be his daughter anyway but in terms of you guys having a kid together, with his condition he can probably only handle one kid running around

He will do his absolute best to be a good dad. Even if he feels like death, he’ll help change diapers, feed the baby, care for it when you need a break. He isn’t contagious so when you’re sleeping and he feels gross, he’ll sit back against the pillows with the baby on his chest, the three of you resting together (though he doesn’t fall asleep...that would be dangerous for the baby)

Baizhu already tends to nag at you about your health and lifestyle choices but now?? He’ll be a menace. He’ll be constantly evaluating your baby’s condition, checking to see if a certain food is giving them a rash or making sure their skin isn’t drying out. He’s hyper aware of your baby’s health and will be the one to treat them if they get sick

He’s a busy guy since he runs the pharmacy but he will always do his best to be present for your baby’s big milestones! And when your kid cries cause Baizhu’s medicine tastes like shit, he’ll do his best to not be disappointed in their reaction lmao

When you leave him alone with the baby, he’ll wrap a scarf around himself to tie the baby to his chest while he works and...he looks so cute :) dad baizhu <3 <3 <3 <3

Bonus points for him buying the baby toy medical equipment so he can get your kiddo interested in medicine :)

[shirakumos-sandwich-shop]

🍂Zhongli x fem reader 🍂

🍂Single Dad, modern au. 🍂

Feat. Xiao as a kid cause why not.

(Idk why I wrote this, let me just die of embarrassment while I post it anyway.)

“Did you have a good day at school Xiao?” You asked the tiny four year old.

“No.” He said bluntly.

“Why not? Did something happen?” You crouched down to his level.

“Ajax was mean to me again.” The little one whimpered. “He said my hair was stupid.”

You made a mental note to tell the child’s father once he got home.

“That’s not nice of him.” You tousled the boy’s colorful locks. “Don’t listen to him, your hair is perfect.”

“You think so?” He gave you big round golden puppy eyes that made your heart melt.

“Yes of course I do!” He smiled at your words. His little arms held out asking for you to pick him up. You scooped him into your arms and carried him off to the car. He was tiny but still heavy.

“Y/n?” He questioned.

“Yes Xiao?” You smiled.

“Why doesn’t daddy pick me up from school?” He said sadly.

“Your daddy has to work.”

“Oh…” the little one sighed. “Why does daddy work so much?”

“He has a very important job.” You answered.

You got to the car and buckled him into the car seat.

“Ajax said my dad works for dead people! Is that true?”

“What?” It took you a second to realize he meant the funeral parlor. “No sweetie, he doesn’t work for dead people.” You didn’t want to traumatize him with the details at such a young age.

You got into the driver's seat and drove out of the school parking lot. He was quiet all the way home and just stared out the window. After a short drive you pulled into the driveway of the large house. You let Xiao out of his car seat and he held his arms out to you to be held. He certainly was a clingy child. You carried him through the quiet house to the living room and set him down.

“I’m gonna make you a snack, is there anything you want?” You asked him.

“Almond tofu!” He exclaimed.

“You can’t have that for every meal, Xiao.” You chided.

“Oh..” he thought hard. “Apples then… but can I have just a bite of almond tofu?” He persisted.

“Would you rather have some now or save it till dessert? Cause I know you’ll ask for it again after dinner.”

“Fine… I’ll wait.” He sighed.

You patted his head and went to fix him a plate of sliced apples, you added some crackers and juice for good measure and brought it to him. He nibbled on the snacks happily and then decided it was time to color.

Time went on like this till nightfall. Xiao drew a dragon that he wanted to give to his dad. He was really just the cutest. You checked the clock, Xiao’s father should be back soon. It was getting late and Xiao was getting peckish again so you decided to get dinner ready for them so they could eat when he came back from work. You went to the kitchen and started preparing a good meal of chicken, rice, and vegetables.

“What about almond tofu?” The persistent child asked.

“I’ll do that next.” You calmed him. You went ahead and got started on the dessert so it would be ready later. Cooking wasn’t really required in your job description but you did it once in a while. The boy’s father always seemed to be so tired when he got back.

You heard the door open and Xiao scrambled to run to the door.

“Daddy!” You heard his exclaim from the other room. “Look what y/n helped me draw today!”

“That’s amazing!” You heard him reply. “Let’s go put it on the fridge!”

Zhongli entered the kitchen with his son dragging him by the hand. He looked very tired but tried to be energetic for his excited child.

“Hello, y/n.” Zhongli said softly.

“Hello, I went ahead and made dinner for you.”

“Oh you didn’t have to..”

“It’s okay, I wanted to. There is enough for leftovers. Let me just finish Xiao’s favorite and I’ll be on my way.”

“Would you just like to stay for dinner?” He asked.

“Oh no I couldn’t impose.” You blushed nervously.

“You're not imposing, you made the dinner after all.” He smiled at you awkwardly. “We’d love to have you stay, right Xiao?”

The little one jumped up and down and ran to hug your leg.

“Please stay, y/n.” He gave you the irresistible puppy eyes again.

“Of course, I’ll stay. I can’t say no to you.” You ruffled his colorful hair.

Zhongli smiled to himself while he witnessed the interaction. No one had been able to get Xiao to open up like you had. He used to be such a quiet child until you came along. Maybe it was just his imagination but he felt that you were having a similar effect on him as well.

You felt a bit awkward at dinner, Zhongli had never invited you to stay before. Your crush on him was driving you crazy, thinking of all the reasons he could have asked you to stay. You were just Xiao’s nanny so you didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. Throughout dinner Zhongli grew more comfortable as the evening continued. It felt natural having the three of you there together. He wondered as he always did when he saw you, if you might be the answer he was looking for. Xiao had always been begging him for a mother. Zhongli wanted to make him happy, he tried to go on dates but no one seemed to fit. No one except you. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t considered asking you out, but every time he considered saying something it didn’t seem like the right time.

“Y/n! Come read bedtime story!” Xiao was already dragging you off by the hand to his room. Zhongli cleaned up the dishes and then followed you to the boy’s room. It would be a difficult task getting you out of Xiao’s clutches so you could go home and get some rest. He was also feeling the fatigue of the day and felt like he could fall asleep any second. He found the pair in Xiao’s room looking at books. The little boy already had a stack of all his favorites that he wanted to read with you. The little one looked up happily at his father when he entered the room.

“Xiao, I’m sure y/n needs to get home and rest. Why don’t you save the books for another time?” Zhongli told the boy.

Xiao’s eyes widened and nearly teared up. He looked at you for confirmation.

“Y/n? You don’t have to leave yet do you?” The little one whimpered. He gave you the adorable puppy eyes once again.

“I can read one book with you.” you looked up at Zhongli. “Is that okay? I’d hate to disappoint him, he’s so excited.” Zhongli smiled at you and wondered how he could possibly deserve someone like you.

“As long as your not too tired.” He agreed.

Xiao looked at his bed skeptically. It was not big enough for all three of you. He was accustomed to his father laying on his bed with him while being read to. With you there now there was simply not enough room. He came to a quick conclusion on how to fix the problem and grabbed onto both your hand and Zhongli’s and led you off to his father’s room. He climbed up on the big bed and waited expectantly. You blushed at the idea of even just sitting on his bed. Zhongli had similar thoughts and looked away awkwardly. Xiao had already opened the book and was sitting there expectantly. Neither of you wanted to disappoint him so you went and sat on either side of the child.

Xiao nestled into the crook of your arm and gave you the book to read. As you started reading you felt yourself get more comfortable and sleepy. You were so sleepy you became unaware of Zhongli’s arm behind your shoulders or the adoring glances he gave you.

Zhongli was drifting off as well, it had been a long day for him. And now with you leaning against him and quieting his mind with the story you were reading he felt at peace. Your head fell onto his shoulder and he sleepily pulled you closer. The scent of your hair was the last thing he remembered before drifting off to sleep. Xiao stood up on his tiny legs and patted your head and then Zhongli’s.

“Lumine said that only mommies and daddies sleep in the same bed..” his little brain tried to work out what this meant. He climbed off the bed and jumped on his own bed and fell asleep almost immediately.

Zhongli woke to find you cuddled against his chest with his arms around you. He gently tucked your now messy hair out of your face and your eyes fluttered open. You gasped when you saw who you were snuggled against and jerked back from his touch.

“I’m sorry.” You squeaked. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“Y/n.”

“I’m sorry, I should go.” You scrambled out of bed and made for the door.

“Y/n wait!” He jumped up and hugged you from behind. You felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest. “Y/n, I really like you.”

You twisted around in his arms to look at him.

“I like you too Zhongli.”

He smiled softly at your words and looked at your lips. You melted into his arms as he leaned down to kiss you. It was short, sweet, and perfect. He pulled away and gave you an unusually mischievous look. You squealed as he scooped you up and carried you back to the bed. He peppered you with kisses and held you close. You snuggled against him as he pulled the bed covers up over you.

“It’s Saturday, I don’t have work. Want to stay here for a while?”

You nodded at his request and pressed a kiss to his lips. At this moment Xiao came in search of the two of you. He climbed up on the bed and you gasped in surprise. He bounced his way into your arms and giggled. The little boy snuggled between you and Zhongli.

“Does this mean you’re my mommy now?” He asked seriously. You blushed furiously but Zhongli just looked at you happily.

“I hope so.” He told his son.

You blushed even harder and hid yourself in his chest. And so the three of you cuddled in bed until Xiao announced he wanted breakfast.

[redgillan]

Under Pastel Skies - 11

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 6,696

Warnings: Unprotected Sex (non explicit) 

A/N: And finally... Just a word before, and it’s important, I wanted to put the explicit between two ‘*’ but I settled for one at the end because explicit means different things to different people. So whenever it starts to get too steamy for you, skip to the *. Thank you for reading, I appreciate your support!

Wannabe sugar daddies, don’t interact with this post. 

Bucky moved behind the kitchen counter when he heard the door close. You and your guests were in the hallway where you took their coats and asked them to remove their shoes. He took a deep breath to calm himself. He had to stay calm, you depended on him tonight.

“It smells nice in here. What did y-”

Bucky straightened himself up and tried to keep a casual, friendly smile on his face as he came face-to-face with Okoye. He had seen enough pictures of your siblings to recognize them.

She looked surprised to find someone else there. He raised his hand and waved, and she frowned at him in confusion. The rest of the guests stopped short when they saw him waving like a dork. You pushed through them and came to his side.

“Guys, this is my friend, Bucky,” you said. “He’s the one who invited you.”

“Thanks for the invite. I hope you like wine,” Scott said, extending his hand as he walked over to Bucky.

“I sure do.”

Then he shook Wanda and Okoye’s hands, telling them how good it was to finally meet them. Your sisters introduced him to their partners, W’Kabi and Edwin who preferred to be called ‘Viz’.

You led them to the living room while Bucky prepared the drinks. W’Kabi decided to stay behind and help Bucky carry the drinks to the living room. He praised Bucky for having such a nice home.

The conversation seemed to flow easily between your siblings, though as Bucky arrived with your drink, he couldn’t help but notice that you were not participating. You took the glass from his hand, smiled then went back to staring at the coffee table. He sat next to you and rubbed soothing strokes on your arm before he reached for his drink.

Okoye was telling everyone that she had decided to return to New York after King T’Chaka’s passing. His son carried the mantle of the Black Panther, surrounding himself with his father’s Dora Milaje, but Okoye wanted to live closer to her own family.

She was a Dora Milaje, loyal to her king, but she was also a sister, loyal to her family. She felt like there were no good choices, and it ate away at her until her king found a solution to her problem. His little sister, Shuri, was starting her own business in the United States and needed her own bodyguards. Okoye accepted and W’Kabi followed her.

Scott didn’t share much. He showed everyone pictures of his little girl, Cassie, and said he was now working at Baskin-Robbins.

Wanda was evasive about her life and whereabouts. She told everyone that she’d been backpacking across Europe and met Viz, a wealthy businessman, on a beautiful sunny day in Berlin. They’d been attached at the hip ever since.

“And of course, you’re all invited to the wedding,” Wanda said while Okoye admired the ring. “It’s going to be a small wedding. I just need my family.”

“Excuse-me,” you said, standing up abruptly. “I think something’s burning.”

Bucky watched you disappear into the kitchen. He glanced at the group again, no one was paying attention so he followed you into the kitchen.

He found you leaning back against the counter, your arms crossed over your chest, staring into nothing. He walked over to you and pulled you into a one-armed hug that you accepted with a pleased sigh.

“I don’t think I can do this,” you said, your voice muffled against his shirt.

“Is it a code ‘flamingo’?”

“No,” you chuckled, pulling away. You took a deep breath and leaned back against the counter again. “It’s just...”

You huffed, unable to find the words and grabbed him by the waist, seeking his warmth again. Bucky let out a surprised laugh as you squeezed him tightly. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pressed you against his chest.

“I know it’s hard,” he said, kissing the crown of your head. “It’ll be over soon, angel.”

Bucky rocked you side to side in a slow, soothing rhythm until you were practically melting against him. He felt you take a deep breath, your nose buried in his chest. He didn’t want the moment to end, but you’d been gone for several minutes now, and the others would barge in the kitchen soon.

He pressed a long kiss to your forehead and gently pushed you away, his arm falling to your waist. You smoothed out the wrinkles you had made in his shirt without looking him in the eye.

He could tell you were thinking about something but before he could ask what was on your mind, you kissed the slight cleft in his chin and quickly moved away from him.

He smiled to himself, his heart beating a little faster.

You were transferring the dinner rolls from the pan to the basket when Scott poked his head into the kitchen. Bucky was still smiling to himself like a lovesick idiot.

“Everything okay?” Scott asked, taking a step closer to you. You turned to him and nodded. “It’s kinda weird, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“Seeing each other again after all this time.” He leaned his forearm on the counter next to you and smelled the bread. “Baby Wanda’s getting married. Did you know they flew me first class? And the hotel is incredible. I feel like a prince.”

“Viz seems very nice.”

“I can’t believe Wanda backpacked through Europe,” Scott scoffed. “She hates camping.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Bucky watched as Scott leaned closer and whispered in your ear. “Listen, I wanted to thank you for everything you did for me and for Cassie-” Bucky quietly left the two of you alone. It was a private conversation and he didn’t want to impose himself.

He finished setting the table, and soon everyone joined in. Bucky was sitting with his back to the kitchen, W’Kabi sitting next to him. You took a seat across from him, Wanda sitting next to you. Okoye sat next to Wanda, facing Scott, and Viz took a seat at the end of the table.

The food was good, and everyone complimented Bucky on his cooking skills. He said that you had helped him a lot, but you refused to take credit for chopping up a bunch of vegetables. You gushed about his cooking skills and his delicious recipes. It made them salivate just thinking about it.

“And your house is amazing,” Scott said with a dreamy look on his face. “A place like that...” he sighed, “that must have cost you an arm and a leg.” The whole room fell silent, and something that sounded like a foot hitting a shin made the table jump. “Ouch, why did yo- oh.”

Okoye was looking at him with the widest pair of eyes Bucky had ever seen. She looked furious and exasperated at the same time. The others stared at their plates as the uncomfortable silence grew.

Bucky glanced at you, not surprised to find you smirking. You knew he lived for moments like these, and you knew he already had the perfect comeback. As he watched you bit your lip, trying to contain a little giggle, he couldn’t help but love you even more.

“It was the original price but I’m a good negotiator,” Bucky said. “Only cost me an arm.”

W’Kabi was the first to laugh at his joke, then the whole table broke into fits of laughter. Scott looked equally amused and relieved.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t-”

“No problem,” Bucky cut him off.

“Can’t take you anywhere,” Okoye said with a smile and a shake of her head. She turned to Bucky as everyone calmed down. “So, Bucky, strange name, uh? What do you do for a living?”

“My name is James, Bucky’s just a nickname.” He wiped his mouth and set the napkin down. “I’m a writer.”

“A pretty good one, judging by your apartment.”

“I’m all right.” He shrugged. “Literally.” Scott snickered at the joke.

“He’s too modest,” you said. “His books are best sellers. They’re autobiographical, he’s very sincere and honest and funny. He has a way of making you laugh about things that are pretty awful.”

“Yeah, we saw that,” Wanda said with a grin. “Are you working on anything at the moment?”

Bucky shifted a little in his seat. “Yeah, it’s uh,” he cleared his throat. “It’s a very important one. I don’t really want to talk about it. Don’t wanna jinx it.”

He wasn’t going to tell your family that he was writing a book about how he fell in love with you. That’d be pretty awkward.

“I understand,” Okoye nodded, then looked at you. “You’ve been really quiet tonight.” You shrugged. “I thought you were still living with Natasha. Do you still work at the hotel? Where is it again? Chelsea? That’s one hell of a commute from Brooklyn.”

“I wasn’t exactly living with Natasha,” you said. “I was crashing on her sofa. And no, I quit six months ago. I’m a full time artist now.”

“That’s great,” Scott said, raising his glass toward you in a silent toast. “How’s that working out for you?”

“Not too bad. Bucky’s friend is a professional photographer. He helped me set up my website. The pictures he took are amazing. I sold a few pieces online but I’m struggling to find gallery representation.”

“Hey, as long as it pays the bills.”

“I don’t really have to worry about bills these days.”

“What do you mean?”

The room got quiet again, and Bucky could feel the tension in the air, buzzing like static electricity. All eyes were suddenly on you, waiting for an explanation. Bucky knew you were not going to lie to them. He locked eyes with you, and braced himself for impact.

You set your fork down and folded your hands in your lap.

“Well, Bucky and I have an arrangement.”

“I don’t like where this is going,” Scott cut you off.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush and I’m not going to use pretty words to make it sounds more appealing,” you continued as if you hadn’t heard him. “He’s my sugar daddy.”

“You’re joking. Please, tell me you’re joking.”

“Nope,” you replied smugly, popping the ‘p’.

A chorus of voices rose in protest. Okoye and Scott were shouting while the others kept glancing around wondering what had just happened. Wanda was strangely quiet next to you.

“Oh, shut up!” you shouted. “You left me alone. All of you. We were all grieving our brother but it doesn’t give you the right to fuck off when things get tough. Do you know how fucking terrifying it was when mom started to lose her memories? Or when the police drove her home at three in the morning after one of her spells? No, you don’t know because you weren’t there.”

Bucky had never seen you so upset before, and he didn’t quite know what to do but he felt like you needed to get it off your chest.

“I didn’t have friends or boyfriends. I went to class, then got home, hoping mom hadn’t set the house on fire. I took the first decent job I could find because she needed a new home and professional help. Without Natasha I would have been homeless.” You turned to Bucky. “I’m so sorry, I’ve ruined dinner. You’ve worked so hard.”

“It’s okay,” he replied immediately. “I’m with you.”

“God, you’re so nice,” you sighed, then turned to your siblings. “See? That’s the kind of person he is. I was lonely and lost, and I found him and he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s kind and sweet, he’s selfless and generous, and you have no right to criticize our relationship.”

Bucky stared at you, his mouth hanging open a little. Slowly he shook himself out of his trance and reached for your hand on the table. He had no idea you thought so highly of him.

“We needed each other,” you continued. “And I don’t care what you think.”

Dinner was officially ruined but Bucky didn’t care. He smiled at you, soft and reassuring, and let go of your hand when you smiled back. He was proud of you for speaking up, for standing up for yourself.

Bucky noticed Wanda and Viz exchanging looks.

“Okay so, since we’re sharing truth bombs,” Wanda said, shifting a bit in her seat. “I wasn’t really traveling through Europe. I went to Sokovia and after that, everything’s kind of a blur. I did things I’m not proud of. I wanted to forget,” she paused and sighed, “everything. I hit rock bottom, pretty hard, and checked myself into a psychiatric hospital. That’s where I met Viz. He helped me send you those postcards. I screwed up, real bad, but I couldn’t tell you guys the truth. I’m not really proud of myself.”

“I got fired from Baskin-Robbins for yelling at a costumer.”

“Okay!” Okoye exclaimed in her big sister voice. “Enough truth bombs.” She pointed at you. “I’m sorry you had to do this alone, it wasn’t right but we’re here now and we won’t let you down. As for the sugar daddy thing... well you’re a grown woman, you can do whatever you want. Bucky seems like a nice guy.” She turned to Wanda. “We are all dealing with our pain in our own way. I’m not judging you. We’re here for you, Wanda.”

“I know,” Wanda said, sniffing.

“And Scott, stop yelling at people.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

Bucky turned to W’Kabi and Viz who looked proud of their girls, albeit a little uncomfortable with the whole situation. Someone started chuckling, he couldn’t tell who it was, but suddenly the whole table broke into a fit of laughter.

“How about some dessert,” he said. “Then you guys can fill me in on some childhood secrets.”

As he walked away from the table, he heard you warn your siblings to keep their mouths shut. They laughed in response, which made Bucky smile. Surely it’d take more than one outburst at a family dinner to fix your broken bond but it was a good start.

During dessert, he learned that everyone called you ‘Splotchy’ because you painted on the living room walls as a child. He learned that you always wanted to play board games with Okoye. Your favourite one was Mystery Date.

“She had a crush on Tyler, the beach date.”

“No, that’s not true, don’t listen to them.”

When they finally left, you spent a few extra moments hugging everyone. Promises were made, and Bucky couldn’t help but smile as he watched you wave goodbye to your siblings.

It was just the two of you again, and the mountain of dirty dishes and silverware. He told you not to worry about the dishes, but you knew if he went to bed he wouldn't be able to sleep, not when the kitchen was such a mess so you cleaned together.

He loved these moments with you. There was something very peaceful about the night; the dark skies, the soft lights, the quiet apartment, knowing people all around town where getting ready for bed. It used to make him feel tiny and isolated but now, with you, the night didn’t seem so frightening anymore.

A few weeks went by, and things were changing a bit. You spent your Saturday mornings with your sisters, bonding, and facetimed with Scott at least once a week.

Bucky also noticed a subtle change in Sam’s behaviour. He seemed happier and he wondered if his friend had already forgotten Natasha.

It was almost June, and the building’s swimming pool reopened as the weather got warmer. Despite living there for several years, he had never gone near that swimming pool until you dragged him out one scorching afternoon.

The rooftop was surprisingly calm, apart for the group of children playing in the pool. There were people sunbathing around the pool, enjoying a good book, socializing. You dropped your bag on the floor and laid out your towel on the reclining chair.

Bucky had never seen you in a bathing suit before and it caught him completely off guard, but what made him literally growl was seeing the little pendant of your necklace rest against your skin. He didn’t know why but it awoke something in him.

You both slathered on sunscreen before you went for a swim. Bucky recognized a few neighbours, and while they all knew he only had one arm, they had never seen him shirtless before. Bucky didn’t mind their inquisitiveness, as long as you were beside him.

“Do you think the kids peed in the water?” you asked as you rested against the edge of the pool.

“Probably,” Bucky cringed. “When I was a kid, my mom told me that there were chemicals that turned the water a different color when someone pees.”

“Ew,” you laughed.

After a while, he lay out in the sun, enjoying the feel of the sun on his skin. He could still hear you playing water polo with the kids when a shadow passed over him. With a frown, he pushed his sunglasses up onto his forehead.

“It’s nice to see you, James,” his neighbour beamed, taking a seat on your unoccupied chair. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out here.”

“Hi.” He wasn’t surprised when his voice came out hoarse since he had been on the verge of falling asleep. With the grace of a walrus, he propped himself into a sitting position. “Yes, well, swimming pools are more fun when you’re not alone.”

His neighbour turned to look at you. “Congratulations, by the way. I didn’t know you were seeing someone. Must have been serious if you two moved in together. How long has it been since she moved in? Six months?”

“Seven.”

He knew he should have corrected her, you weren’t his girlfriend, but it felt good. It was just a harmless little lie.

“Does she make you happy?”

“I’m the happiest man on earth,” he replied with a bright smile, then slid his sunglasses back on his face.

His neighbour chuckled quietly. “I can see that!”

When you returned to your seat, his neighbour was gone. You hummed to yourself as you settled into your seat, big droplets of water running down your body. Bucky tilted his head down and peered at you over the top of his sunglasses.

“Where did you get that popsicle?”

“Jealous?” You licked your treat without looking at him. “The kids’ mom gave me one as a thank you for looking after her kids.”

“That looks good.”

“So good.”

“Mind sharing it with me?”

You pursed your lips thoughtfully, then held out your popsicle. As Bucky leaned closer, you pulled it away and jumped to your feet. The look he gave you was one of pure betrayal.

“Oh, angel, you should have never done that.”

He grinned to himself when he saw a shiver run through you. When he stood up, you took a step back. He strutted toward you, his grin predatory. The floor was slippery so you couldn’t go very far.

“Are you ready to share now?”

“No!”  

The popsicle melted down your hand, creating a mess. You turned your arm and licked the drops of popsicle juice from the inside of your wrist. It distracted you long enough for Bucky to wrap his arm around your waist, pulling you against him. You squealed and grabbed him around the neck to keep from falling while also trying not to smush the popsicle against his chest.

You waved the treat in front of his face and he tried to bite off the tip of your popsicle. It made you laugh, your body sagging against him. His face was close to yours. He was so close he could smell the artificial orange scent of your popsicle.

Your laughter died down and your breath caught in your throat when you saw the way he was looking at you. Without thinking, he went for it. He felt your fingers flex against his skin, urging him closer.

His lips were barely a breath away from yours when one of the kids repeatedly slapped your thigh, obviously oblivious to what the two grownups were about to do.

“Come back! We haven’t finished the game,” the kid whined. “Come on!”

Reluctantly, you let go of Bucky and took a step back. Your exhale came out shaky, and in your almost-kiss-induced trance you handed him the popsicle without saying anything before you followed the kid.

You turned back to look at him, one hand sprawled across your stomach, the other across your chest. He knew you were feeling it too: the butterflies, the racing heartbeat, that pleasant heat going through your body.

The difference between like and love.

A week later, he came home to an empty apartment. He climbed the stairs to your studio but you weren’t there. Instead, he found a canvas stretched out smooth and tight on the floor, and several bowls of paint arranged in a semi-circle around it.

He knew you were home, you wouldn’t leave without your phone or bag. Out of curiosity, he went up on the roof and let out a relieved breath when he found you.

You were sitting on the edge of the rooftop with your knees up to your chin and your arms wrapped loosely around your shins. You looked so beautiful in the golden hue of the setting sun.

He stood there, watching you as if he was looking at a painting in a museum. Entranced. You hadn’t noticed him yet, and a quick glance around the roof told him you were alone.  

Slowly, he made his way to you and took in your appearance: a short sleeve white shirt and a pair of denim overalls. The shirt was surprisingly spotless but the overalls were covered in dried paint splatters of different colours.

“I looked everywhere for you,” he spoke softly, trying not to disturb you.

“Did you?”

You straightened up a little but kept your eyes trained on the horizon. Bucky sat close to your feet and let his hand slip under the hem of your jeans to close around your ankle. A sigh slipped past your lips, and he let his fingertips linger for a moment on your smooth skin.

He knew you had a meeting today, and judging by the resigned look on your face, it didn’t go well.

“What’s on your mind, angel?” he said, caressing the top of your foot.

“I was thinking about the night we met. God, I was so nervous,” you said, laughing softly. “I told you that agreeing to meet you was like choosing between a pack of wolves and jumping off a cliff.”

“I remember,” he chuckled.

“I never told you how glad I am that I jumped off that cliff,” you said. “I’d never jumped head first into something, not knowing what was going to happen. Now I think I’m addicted to it. Before I met you, I was living for others. Everything single decision was thoroughly analysed. There was no mystery, fun, or impulsiveness. I put my entire life on hold, and now I see that I can’t do that anymore.”

“What are you going to do?”

You paused, searching for the right words. “I don’t know if I want to turn my passion into a career. Painting is my safe-place, and right now it’s giving me so much anxiety. I haven’t had the inspiration to paint in weeks.” You looked at him and pressed your lips together tightly. “And, if I don’t want to become a full time artist, then I guess our deal is off.”

Bucky stared at you, mouth agape. He really hadn’t seen it coming.

“Please, don’t be angry,” you pleaded. “I don’t want to stop seeing you. When he didn’t answer, you leaned forward and touched his face.

“I could never be angry with you, angel,” he said, kissing the inside of your palm. “I understand, and I’ll help you however I can.”

“I’m not sure yet. I’m still thinking about it.” You looked away from him and stared at the sky. “Do you know that feeling when you stand in a high place and you think about jumping? You don’t want to jump and you don’t do it, but there’s that urge.”

“I think I do.”

“It’s called ‘call of the void’. People say that it’s an affirmation of our will to live. That knowing we’re going to die one day makes us appreciate life even more.” You looked at him. “I want to jump but I can’t. I’m scared.” You lowered your voice. “I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

“You’re scaring me a little. You can’t talk about jumping when we’re sitting on the edge of the roof.”

You chuckled under your breath. “It’s a metaphor.”

“Let’s go home. We’ll make dinner together, put on some music and pretend we’re in a movie.” He got to his feet and held out his hand to you. “Please.”

You took his hand and let him lead you to the staircase.

Once you were inside the apartment, he removed his shoes and you removed yours. Silence settled between the two of you as you entered the kitchen. Bucky moved behind the counter while you stood close to the dining table.

When he chanced a glance at you, he saw you staring into nothing while you played with the charm on your necklace, rolling it back and forth on its chain. You often did that when you were daydreaming.

Bucky walked over to you and placed his hand on top of yours, halting your movements. You let go of the pendant and held his hand instead. He ran his thumb soothingly over your fingers.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he spoke softly.

“If I say it, it’s going to change everything.”

He pressed your joined hands against his chest, over his heart. “No, it’ll make it real.”

He let go of your hand and cupped the side of your face. You leaned closer until you were only inches apart. His thumb traced your cheekbone, then moved to trace the outline of your bottom lip.

He let you come to him, let you take that first step, and when your lips brushed against his, he closed his eyes and sighed. He kissed your parted lips; once, twice, three times, tiny little kisses against your trembling lips.

His kiss grew bolder, turning into something so intimate, so passionate and intense that tears gathered in his eyes. He pressed his mouth more firmly against yours, his large hand still cupping the side of your face. His bad shoulder jutted forward as if his missing arm wanted to touch you.

He let out a groan, frustrated that he only had one hand to finally explore your skin. Sensing his inner turmoil, you held onto his bad shoulder and pulled him against you.

His tongue swept into your mouth, moving in a slow and deliberate rhythm. A growl escaped him and he deepened the kiss, tasting, sliding, retreating and entering again. He poured everything he had into the kiss.

“Bucky,” you moaned after your broke the kiss, breathless.

Hearing his name fall from your lips, your voice hoarse with desire, sparked something inside him. He swiped his thumb over your bottom lip, feeling the softness and collecting the moisture that had gathered there.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, looking positively entranced. “My pretty angel.”

You pulled him in for another kiss and wrapped your arms around his neck, your slightly cold hands felt amazing against his heated skin. He pressed himself against you, letting you feel the rise and fall of his chest, the desperation in the jerky thrust of his hips.

He needed more but he wasn’t going to force you into anything. He was more than happy to stand here and kiss you for hours. He cupped the back of your neck and rubbed the sensitive skin behind your ear with his thumb.

“I’m yours,” he spoke against your lips, his eyes screwed shut.  

You pulled back to look him in the eye, searching his face. He opened his eyes and you saw nothing but honesty in the depth of his eyes.

You untangled yourself from him and took his hand. Slowly, you took a step back, then another, his hand still in yours. His eyebrows lifted slightly when you bit your bottom lip and gave him a coy look.

He nearly growled again, the wolf inside him eager to touch you, feel you, claim you. He stood taller, his chest puffed out and breathing fast.

You led him up the stairs to the second floor and turned on the light in the corridor. You slowly made your way down the corridor with him behind you.

But instead of turning left towards his bedroom, you turned right into your studio, and it changed everything. Your studio was your sanctuary, your safe place, and knowing that you were about to bare your soul and body to him tamed his inner wolf.

You hesitated at the threshold of the room and glanced over your shoulder to look at him. Bucky squeezed your hand to encourage you.

“I bought some body paint on my way home,” you said, letting go of his hand to step into the room. “I wanted to try something different, something more personal. I wanted to use my body to express my emotions, to create something raw and messy. My interpretation of somatic art therapy.”

You moved around the darkened room; bent down to adjust the canvas on the floor and made sure the bowls of paint were still full.

“I sat there and thought of my mom and Pietro,” you continued, barefoot on the canvas. “I only feel sadness and anger, and I don’t want to create something that makes me feel sad. And I realized the only thing that keeps me inspired is hope.”

Turning to face him, you held your hand out, palm up, and his eyes widened at your silent request. Without thinking twice, he joined you on the canvas. It was both soft and scratchy under his feet.

Bucky watched as you unbuckled the right strap of your overalls and slipped the second strap off your shoulder. You tugged your jeans down your legs and tossed them aside, leaving you in your underwear and white shirt.

Swallowing thickly, Bucky let his eyes travel up and down your body. He had seen you in your bathing suit before but this was different. Then he reached behind his neck and pulled his shirt over his head, baring his strong chest, hard abdomen and marred skin.

The room was dark; the pastel sky, visible from your studio thanks to the floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room, didn’t provide much light. The light was still on in the corridor, casting a faint golden glow over the room.

You took a step forward to examine his scars more carefully and Bucky took that opportunity to kiss you again, slowly, intimately. He peppered kisses along your jaw and down your neck, then went down on his knees in front of you and continued his journey down your body, pressing soft kisses to your stomach.

He accidentally knocked over two bowls of paint; the dark colours spilled out onto the canvas, chasing each other. His kisses made you light up with desire, your moans music to his ears as your hands came down on the back of his head.

When it all became too much, you gently pushed him into a lying position and helped him out of his jeans. His belt buckle made a faint clink when you pulled it open, and Bucky swore out loud when you planted a wet open-mouthed kiss right below his navel.

In the back of his mind, he knew he wasn’t going to survive the night. He let his head fall back against the canvas and closed his eyes shut. Your talented mouth sent sharp jolts of pleasure through him, making it difficult to breathe.

He could feel the paint stick to his back, creating the shape of his upper body on the canvas. It was strangely exciting.

He moaned, arching his back, and slammed his fist down on the canvas. His fist landed in one of the bowls of paint. It splashed paint everywhere. He looked down at you and saw tiny flecks of paint splayed like freckles on one side of your face.

It made you both giggle. As he pushed himself up into a sitting position, Bucky left a print of his forearm on the canvas. You climbed into his lap, straddling him, then removed your shirt and bra. You wrapped your legs around him, one hand on his upper arm, the other hugging his neck.

Bucky was sitting on the canvas with his legs outstretched and slightly bent at the knees. He held you against his chest, rocking back and forth, his arm around the small of your back. You sighed together, sharing the same breath.

“You have the prettiest nose.” You let your index finger run down the length of his nose, your finger wet with paint. “So pretty.”

Laughing softly, he brushed his nose against yours and kissed you. He changed the angle of his thrusts, catching you by surprise.

“Does that feel good, angel?” he asked, lightly biting your jaw. You answered with a short cry. “Look at me.” You slowly opened your eyes, your movements faltered a little. “You’re so beautiful like this. You drive me crazy, y’know that?”

“Bucky,” you cried out.

He felt you shiver when he moved his hand from your back to your face. He cupped the side of your face and you immediately pressed yourself closer to him, craving the warmth of his touch.

He stopped your movements and looked you in the eye. “I’d do anything for you. Anything. You’re my one and only.”

He laid you down as gently and safely as he could, and once you were lying flat on your back, he sprawled between your thighs. He supported his weight on his forearm, careful not to crush you. Your hands slid up his sides, and as your thumb traced over his ribcage, a violent shiver went through his body.

He had never seen anything more beautiful than watching you come apart; your eyebrows furrowed, your lips parted in a silent ‘o’, the way your body shook in little spams. Absolutely stunning.

Exhausted, he collapsed on top of you and hid his face in the crook of your neck. You wrapped your arms around him and slowly caressed his back.

After he kissed his way down the side of your neck, he straightened himself up into a kneeling position and looked down at you. Your naked body was on display, covered in paint and glistening under the moonlight. He wished he could take a picture, immortalize this memory.

*

He helped you up, and after another passionate kiss he led you to his bathroom, the two of you leaving colourful footprints all over the clean floor.

The bathroom's bright fluorescent light was harsh and unforgiving as you looked at each other in the mirror. Yet you were both glowing, streaks and dots of paint covering your bodies. Bucky turned on the water and waited for it to get hot.

He wrapped his arm around you from behind and rested his chin on your shoulder. “We look like we blew up a rainbow,” he said, smiling wide when it made you chuckle.

In the shower, you took turns washing each other, laughing and kissing until the water turned cold. You pushed his hair out of his eyes and smiled sweetly at him.

“We’re going to catch a cold if we stay here.”

“Mhh,” he replied, kissing your temple. “You’re right. There are clean towels on the shelf. Go, I’ll be right behind you, I still need to take care of my scar.”

“Can I help you?”

Asking for help wasn’t something he was comfortable with, especially after years of being babied by his ex-girlfriend, friends and family. After his accident, he couldn’t do anything on his own. He had to rely on others and it made him feel like a burden, like he was incapable of taking care of himself.

He knew it was all in his head but he couldn’t help it.

“It’s not exactly sexy,” he said.

“I don’t care. I want to help. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

Patiently he guided you step by step through the process of cleaning his stump. You inspected his skin thoroughly, looking for irritation or any signs of infection, then washed it with a mild soap.

He had to admit that watching the woman he loved take such good care of his scar made his stomach fill with butterflies. You looked so focused, so attentive, that he could help but smile and try to kiss you.

“Bucky,” you complained, turning your head away, avoiding his kiss. “This is serious business, stop fooling around.”

He almost said it. I love you. But something was holding him back. He didn’t know what would happen next and it scared him. He didn’t want this to be a one-time thing, but he also realized that things were moving too fast.

“Okay, now you’re shivering,” he said, holding you close, trying to share his body heat with you. “Let’s get out of here.”

He wrapped you in a fluffy bathrobe and patted you dry. Then you carefully dried his scar and applied corticosteroid cream to his shoulder, massaging it gently into his skin. He slipped on his robe and you loosely tied the belt at his waist.

“We should talk about what just happened,” you said, playing with the belt. “What does it mean? What are we going to do? Can we-mph”

He cut you off with a kiss, long and hard and filled with passion. You smiled against his lips and finally pulled away.

“Is that how you’re going to shut me up from now on?” you asked with a grin.

“We’ll talk,” he said, pressing his forehead against yours. “But not tonight.”

“When then?”

“Tomorrow, I promise.”

You looked down at your hands on his belt and nodded. He tilted your head up and lowered his mouth to yours.

“Don’t avoid me tomorrow. Please.”

Your words felt like a knife in his heart, and it left him momentarily speechless. He took one of your hands and pressed it against his heart. “No matter what we decide to do, you’re my angel and I’m yours.”

You shared a long, silent hug before you both decided to call it a night. Once he saw the footprints in the corridor, Bucky felt the urge to clean them. He tried to resist but he knew if he didn't clean he wouldn't be able to sleep.

You understood –you always understood. That’s why he felt so comfortable with you.

Once it was clean, he joined you in the kitchen and made you breakfast for dinner, opening the cupboard and pulling out a couple boxes of cereal you didn’t even know he had.

He told you that he was keeping them for a special occasion. He remembered you telling him that it was your favourite meal as a kid, watching TV with your siblings every Sunday night, eating cereals.

“I can’t believe you remembered that,” you said, tears in your eyes.

The two of you sat on your bed, sharing random thoughts and spoonfuls of cereal. You giggled as milk dribbled down his chin and stained his robe. You wiped at the spot on his chin with your thumb and gave him a chaste kiss.

Your lips tasted sweet. Bucky pulled you in for another kiss, discarding the dirty dishes on your bedside table. You helped each other undress, then slid under the covers where you laid your head on Bucky’s chest.

“Bucky,” your voice cut through the quiet. “Do you mind-”

“Don’t worry, my angel, I’ll wait until you fall asleep.”

“Thank you.”

Part 12

[peaceisadirtyword]

Your Grace IV (Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello! I’m really sorry for not posting these weeks 😭 everything is like too much lately and I couldn’t find time to sit down and post anything, I’m truly sorry, please forgive me🙏🏻 (there is something else coming this week too). I hope you like it anyway, thanks for reading and enjoy!❤️

Warnings: mentions of drugs, alcohol, addiction and depression, mentions of death, loss, mourning... 

Words: 5475

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Part 4: exile

Only a few days after Ivar left, someone knocked at your door.

Your door, or the door of someone who probably fled from Kattegat and abandoned their house. It was a good house, far from the Hall, not too big, with a comfortable bed and some furs. You had used some of the money you still had to buy enough food to survive for a few weeks. After that, you would just improvise.

You already know who was knocking before you opened the door. You had been expecting Björn for days, after they celebrated a trial against the soldiers loyal to Ivar that stayed in Kattegat. You kind of expected the same treatment, but they left you alone, and you didn't notice anything except some whispers and stares. A woman in the market spat at your feet when you walked past her, but you didn't really pay attention to her. You had bigger problems than the hatred of an older woman.

"Hello, Y/N" he nodded with a sympathetic expression on his face "I hope I'm not disturbing you"

You pressed your lips together, but shrugged and stared at him, hoping he'd just talk and leave.

"I was glad to see you decided to stay" he smiled forcefully. You bit your tongue to avoid telling him that he knew very well that you hadn't had a choice.

"What do you want?" you sighed.

Björn raised an eyebrow in surprise, and his lips curved on an amused smile.

"Just wanted to check on you, Y/N" he shrugged "Can I enter?"

You nearly refused, but something in his expression told you that he wouldn't give up anytime soon. Stepping aside, you let him enter your small house and looked back at you with an impressed look.

It wasn't much, definitely nothing compared to the big chambers you had had in the Great Hall, when you were still queen, but you preferred that to sleep under the same roof as them.

"I wanted to ask you" he sat on one of the wooden chairs you had placed in front of the fireplace, ignoring your irritated stare. You walked to the fire, where you cooked a soup with some vegetables for supper. You weren't going to invite him, though "Your plans for now on, now that Ivar has fled"

"My plans?" you clenched your jaw "Survive this winter, and then get on a boat and leave"

"You know you are welcome to stay" he said softly with a sympathetic smile. You hated the condescendence with which he always referred to you "You're not to blame for Ivar's atrocities"

No, but you still didn't allow me to leave.  

"I could have stopped him" you shrugged, maybe trying to get under his skin. The battle for Kattegat had lasted days, and Ivar had repelled Björn and Harald's forces easily, which you knew wouldn't have had a chance without Freydis' betrayal. Björn might have been a good leader, but Ivar was smarter and you had learnt that most of the time the brain was a better weapon than the sword.

"No you couldn't" he shrugged "I know you tried, Hvitserk told me"

You sighed. You had tried to stop being angry at Hvitserk for days, but you just couldn't forgive him. Not yet at least. Maybe it was selfish, but you didn't care.

"My brother was hard to control, especially when given any kind of power" Björn shrugged "My father once told me that power is dangerous, it attracts the worst and corrupts the best" he fixed his icy eyes on you, they were also blue but not as intense as Ivar's "I'm not sure which one was Ivar's case, but still"

"Don't talk to me like I don't know him, I know him better than any of you, better than you ever will" you glared at him from your seat next to the fire "And like he was dead. He's not dead"

"Y/N" his expression softened again, and he looked almost trying to comfort you "I know it's hard, but Ivar can't survive out there all alone, he's..."

"Don't say that word" you jumped from your seat "Don't call him that, Björn"

"I'm just saying he's probably never coming back, Y/N, I didn't even send people looking for him, he's dead"

"He's not" you scoffed "I know he's not. That's the difference between you and I, Björn, you only saw a weak child when you looked at him, you never thought he'd be a real viking, like your father, like Ubbe, Sigurd, everyone, but I saw him, I saw the strongest man I've ever seen, and I know that if someone can survive out there all alone that's him"

"I never thought Ivar was less than me or any of my brothers" he said, calmly "I admired him, but he's not a good man, Y/N, he was a tyrant, he lost his mind, he wasn't a good ruler"

You rolled your eyes, turning around to try and calm yourself down. The tears filled your eyes again. It seemed that everything you did those days was crying, missing him, fearing for him. No matter how many times he had broken your heart or how mad you were at him before the battle, you felt like he took a part of you when he left Kattegat. The mere thought of Ivar dead made your stomach turn.

"He cheated on you, lied to you, treated you badly, he left, he abandoned you" Björn's voice was more stern now.

"I know what he did" you wiped the tears that started falling down your cheeks with the back of your hand "I was there, I suffered all of that, I don't need you to come here and explain all the things Ivar did wrong because I witnessed them, I'm not stupid, I'm not the stupid little girl all of you think I am, I don't want nor need your pity"

As you took a deep breath, you heard him standing up and approaching you.

"No one thinks that" he muttered "I know you've gone through a rough time, I just want to help you"

"No" you turned to face him, not caring if he saw your tears anymore. You had hidden your tears for too long now "You just want me as a hostage, because in case Ivar is still out there he will try to take Kattegat back, you need something to stop him" you smiled sadly "I'm afraid he doesn't care, so you have nothing"

Maybe the sadness in Björn's eyes when he discovered Freydis' dead body was actually because he knew she was his only option. Ivar was obsessed with her, not you.

He stood silent for a few minutes, as you wiped the tears again and tried to calm yourself down.

"That's not why I'm here, Y/N" he insisted "We care about you, Hvitserk cares about you, Ubbe cares about you, you were part of our family" the small smile on his lips confused you "And Ivar cared, or cares, if he's still alive, I know it, I knew my little brother much better than you think"

"I'm not sure I care anymore" you cleared your throat.

"I also need to know" he frowned softly "If you're pregnant"

You froze, turning your head to look at him completely taken aback. It made sense, though, as the prospect of Ivar having an heir could be threatening for his claim.

"And what if I am?" you licked your lips, already dry from crying so much "Would you kill my baby too?"

You knew you were being unfair. Björn hadn't killed Ivar, but he had made him flee, and for you it was very similar.

"I would never do that" he shook his head "But if you are, I would help you as much as I can, we could help you to raise him, but we need to know... And in case you decided to leave the child would stay here"

You didn't know what was more cruel, killing a baby or taking him away from his mother.

"I'm not pregnant" you muttered, shrugging. That was another one of your heartbreaks, not being able to give Ivar a child. Maybe if you had been pregnant at least once he wouldn't have been so obsessed with Freydis, maybe he would have taken you with him when he left.

Björn took a deep breath with... Relief?

"Alright" he nodded "But you're still invited to stay with us"

"I don't want to be with you" you scowled, and you had the feeling he knew exactly what you meant.

You wanted to be with him. You were willing to forgive him, to ignore all the pain he had caused you because the pain of being without him was much worse. If only he forgave you for all those things you did wrong, like not giving him an heir.

"We'll give you all the space you need" Björn nodded "But we'll be there too, if you ever need us, no one is mad at you and no one blames you, Hvitserk is worried about you and we all understand your situation"

"Stop" you covered your ears. His compassion and his understanding tone were driving you mad "Shut up, Björn, why are you being nice to me? Why are you so caring? You barely know me"

"Because I feel bad for you" he looked amused by your reaction "Would you prefer if I put guards on your door and treated you like a hostage? Send word to your father and tell him to pay a ransom for you? Kill you and spread the word so it reaches Ivar, if he's still alive, and when he comes back I can kill him too?" he raised an eyebrow.

You rolled your eyes and turned your back to him again.

"I'm just being nice to you because Hvitserk told us you did all you could to make Ivar change his mind, and that you stopped him from doing even worse things" he said softly "And I do know you, and I know your family, your father was always close to mine, I don't have anything against you"

You looked down. You felt lost, hopeless, you were always angry and sad, with your eyes always wet and missing your Ivar for more than you could remember. Your Ivar, not the man that you had been sharing a bed with for the last months, that lost his mind and wouldn't listen to anyone. You missed his eyes, how it felt when he looked at you, the touch of his fingers, his lips and his skin on yours, his voice, listening to his heartbeat before falling asleep, braiding and unbraiding his hair, his laugh, how he pouted whenever he couldn't understand something, his muttering when he was drunk, the sound of his crutches approaching you, the feeling of his armor pressing against the soft material of the expensive dresses he bought for you, the tales of the Gods he'd whisper in your ear late at night. You missed all of him, and it felt like the Gods had taken him from your arms to punish you for something you didn't know you had done.

"Thank you" you managed to say to Björn, who looked surprised "I appreciate it"

You'd probably feel like that for a long time, but taking it all on someone else wasn't going to make it better.

He nodded, visibly confused by your reply.

"It's nothing" he shrugged.

None of them would ever understand how lost you felt, you were sure of that, but initiating a war with them wouldn't change a thing. You would still be all alone and left behind.

"Tell Hvitserk" you managed to say as he turned around to open the door again "That I'm sorry about Thora, and that I tried to stop him"

Björn looked at you for a moment, then he smiled and nodded.

"I will"

______________________________

You found him lying in front of your door as you came home. At first you didn't recognize him, but as you got closer your eyes widened in realisation. He wasn't himself, but instead a shaky and trembling man that could barely keep his eyes open. You heard his whimpers, he called your name and muttered something. As you kneeled next to him he was startled, almost scared.

"Hvitserk" you gasped and covered your mouth in horror. You had heard he was acting differently. People in town talked about him drinking a lot, but this... This was nothing you could have ever imagined.

"Y/N" he managed to call your name again, and this time he sounded almost desperate.

"What...? What happened to you, Hvitty?" you caressed his hair softly. His eyes were red and puffy, his face pale and his lips dry, but what alarmed you the most was the way he was looking everywhere, almost like he couldn't focus on anything around him.

Hvitserk muttered something else again, and this time he started coughing. You finally reacted, grabbing his arm to help him stand up. Even if he was too heavy for you, you managed to take him to the Great Hall. You knew Björn was out of Kattegat, trying to free King Harald, but you nearly preferred it. Ubbe was ruling in his place, and he loved Hvitserk, didn't he? He would help.

You could barely breathe when one of the soldiers at the Hall helped you. Queen Gunnhild was there, and she looked at Hvitserk with a worried expression that made you wonder whether that wasn't the first time she saw him in that state.

"He asked about you" she explained when you helped him sit at the table "He always asks about you, this time I couldn't stop him"

You raised your head to look at her quickly before focusing on him again.

"Has he been like this for long?"

"Since the battle" she explained, and your stomach turned. Björn had said Hvitserk was worried about you, and you immediately felt terrible for not reaching up to him earlier "He... Gets drunk frequently, and also eats..." she sighed "We don't really know what to do anymore"

Hvitserk fixed his eyes now on the nearest fireplace. You'd swear he wasn't even listening.

"I found him at my door" you muttered.

"He keeps talking about Ivar and about you" she nodded "And about a girl..."

"Thora" you nodded.

The queen pressed her lips together and then smiled sadly.

"I'm afraid we haven't been introduced, I'm Gunnhild"

You tried your best to smile back at her.

"My name is Y/N" you nodded respectfully.

"I'll ask the thralls to bring some food for Hvitserk" she glanced one last time to the trembling man on the chair next to you, and disappeared on her way to the kitchens. You realized she was giving you some time alone with him, so you immediately turned to him and touched his face softly, making him look at you.

"Hvitty" you said as gently as you could. His eyes finally focused on your face and finally his eyes widened in recognition "What's wrong?"

"Ivar" his voice was shaking, and he had a panicked expression when he spoke his name. You couldn't blame him, you hadn't been able to say his name out loud without whimpering afterwards "He's... Out there"

You frowned, confused. Was he scared of Ivar? He had motives, but Hvitserk had never been afraid of Ivar. Not even when he had threatened him directly.

"Hvitserk, he's not here" you whispered "It's just you and me"

"He's here, Y/N. He's everywhere" he shook his head "He looks at me, he wants to kill me, just like he killed her"

"Hey" you were starting to get scared, his eyes looked at every corner of the room "Please, calm down, you drank too much, it's just that" you grabbed his face "No one is here, he might even be dead"

It hurt you to say those words, but he was terrified and you needed to calm him down.

"No, Ivar is not dead" he said, more firmly "You know it, you know he's alive" his eyes fixed on yours. He was right, you could feel he was alive, in ways you couldn't explain.

Finally, you nodded. And Hvitserk seemed to take a deep breath then, almost relieved.

"The queen is with child" he muttered "Björn's child"

You nodded slowly. You had heard it a few days ago when you were walking around the market. The news made your heart shrunk, but you had tried to ignore it.

"I always wanted a child" Hvitserk sobbed, still trembling "I know you did, too. I saw how sad you were every time Freydis walked into the room when she was pregnant... I saw your sad face every time you asked the thralls to change the sheets because you had bled" your lower lip started trembling at his words and you looked away, suddenly feeling a familiar ache in your chest "You wanted a child and I ruined it, I ruined your life, just like I ruined Thora's"

"You didn't" you leaned your head on his shoulder "Hvitserk, you didn't, you just did what you thought was right, I don't blame you, it's not your fault" you hugged him, sighing.

"You hate me"

"I don't" kissing his cheek, you kept hugging him, even if he was still between your arms "I truly don't Hvitty, I'm sorry if I made you think that, but you're the only family I have left" you muttered "Please, I don't want to lose you too"

________________________________

Ivar looked to the glistening snowflakes that fell silently at the other side of the window. Everyone slept, but for some reason he couldn't. The arrival of Oleg's new wife had stirred some memories. Not only about Freydis, whom she resembled too much, but also about you. He regretted leaving you in Kattegat every single day, but even if he almost woke you up to take you with him, he knew it wasn't wise to do so. While he knew for a fact that Björn wouldn't hurt you, especially if Hvitserk and Ubbe were with him, he didn't know what he would find out there. He was almost sure he'd die in his escape, and between leaving you without saying goodbye or risking your life, he chose the first option.

Knowing it was the right thing to do didn't make it hurt less.

It was then when he started to miss you. Your absence was deafening, during his journey along what they called the Silk Road he had thought about you every single moment. How much you would have loved to see all of those people, animals and objects they sold. Sometimes he thought he was hearing your laugh somewhere, and his heart would break when he realised he hadn't heard your laugh since way before he left you.

Maybe he took you for granted, thinking you'd always be there even when he didn't deserve it, thinking you'd always forgive him. Because you loved him, right?  

You always said it, sometimes when you were about to fall asleep you'd mutter the words against his neck. How many times had he said it to you? He couldn't recall telling you that many times, only sometimes after making love, and now he regretted it. He wished he had told you now, but then again, what would he tell you? That he hadn't tried his best even though he promised it to you? That you were the only person that kept him stable, the only one that he didn't feel the need to impress because no matter how hard he tried, you would always see the real him?  He felt frustrated.

His time as king with you by his side resembled more a nightmare than a memory. He had seen himself in Oleg, he had seen the cruelty others saw in him. Admitting to kill his wife, killing his brother with no remorse, treating his own nephew like a dog... Ivar didn't want to be that. But he had done even worse things, hadn't he? Hurting you was one of them.

He also regretted killing Freydis. He had loved her too, or at least he thought he did. It was hard to know the difference between love and lust for him. She had been beautiful, perfect, especially when pregnant. But she had betrayed him. Even if they weren't married, she still promised many things to him, she swore she loved him. And suddenly he had two beautiful women by his side, he ruled Kattegat, he was powerful, everyone knew his name, he was going to have a child.

He'd like to be able to blame that loss on someone else. On his brother Hvitserk, who also betrayed him, on Freydis, on his own soldiers that weren't able to defend Kattegat. But the truth was that he was the only one to blame. He trusted the wrong person, and ignored the rest. Including you.

"Ivar?"

The soft voice startled him. He usually didn't let his guard down in Kiev, not trusting Oleg, but this time he had been too self-absorbed by his own thoughts and didn't hear Prince Igor's steps.

The kid looked sleepy, he had a small frown on his face and looked cold as he turned his head to look at him.

"My prince?" he raised an eyebrow. Igor was now able to speak Norse, but Ivar preferred talking to him in his own language, so he would be more comfortable "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I woke up and saw you here" he shrugged "Why aren't you in bed?"

"I was just about to go back to bed" Ivar lied with a small smile "I was just thinking about someone that would have loved the snow like this" he pointed at the window. Igor tilted his head with interest.

"Y/N?"

To hear your name out loud, on someone else's lips, for the first time shocked him. Even with Igor's accent, the sound of your name made his heart skip a beat as your face reappeared in his mind.

"How do you know Y/N?" he shook his head, trying to remember any conversation in which he had mentioned you.

"You said her name a few times, when you were sleeping" Igor shrugged "Sometimes you talk in your sleep"

It was true. You had said it a few times, but he never thought he'd say something coherent.

"Who is Y/N?" the boy asked, curious. His big eyes were fixed on him, and Ivar fought the smile that threatened to curve his lips.

"Y/N is a very special person" he said, sighing "Someone the Gods sent to me when I needed her the most, even if I didn't know at that time... She was also my wife, still is if she's not..." he couldn't finish. The mere thought of you being dead crushed his heart, he couldn't stand it.

"Then why is she not with you?" Igor frowned again "Where is she?"

"I don't know" he shrugged.

Igor pouted then. Ivar smiled, thinking about how much you'd love Igor if you knew him. He was such a special boy, and he saw himself developing a soft spot for him. Maybe it was because he recognized himself in him, maybe because the way he played music the first time he talked to him reminded him of Sigurd. But even if his interest in the boy was merely strategic at the beginning, now he felt the need to protect him.

"Come on, let's go to bed" he winked at Igor, who nodded and stood up. Ivar couldn't hold back a chuckle when he saw the little prince crawling into bed. It warmed his heart. And he wondered if that's how being a father felt.

_____________________________________

"Y/N!"

You had tried to ignore him, but he clearly wasn't giving up. Sighing loudly, you stopped walking down the beach. You did not have a destination in mind, but it was something you did at least once a day, walk around Kattegat, sometimes into the forest and around the beach, just to get away from everything. Turning around with what you hoped was a very annoyed expression, you looked at him.

"What do you want, Ubbe?"

You hadn't talked that much to him, even when you spent a lot of time in the Great Hall to take care of Hvitserk, you barely talked to other people that weren't Gunnhild. And now Gunnhild wasn't in Kattegat.

"I need to tell you something" he sighed when he finally reached you "I wasn't going to, but I suppose you'll find out sooner or later"

You frowned. Immediately your thoughts went to Hvitserk, had something happened to him? Before you could ask, Ubbe shook his head.

"It's about Ivar"

You felt almost like someone had punched you in the face at the mention of his name. Only Hvitserk talked about him, and even if he was in your mind every single day and every single place in Kattegat seemed to scream his name at you whenever you walked by, the rest of them chose to ignore his existence. You were kind of thankful for that.

"A party we sent to the East came to inform us of something" he explained "They said the Rus mentioned that Prince Oleg had a very important guest in his palace in Kiev. A viking king."

Your jaw nearly dropped. Apart from the wave of relief that hit you when you realised he was alive, you felt strange. Almost disappointed.

Because he hadn't come back to look for you.

"Ivar is with the Rus?" you asked, more to yourself than to him. You tried to remember everything you had been told about the Rus.

"Yes" Ubbe sighed "He's there and I'm not surprised, to be honest, to hear that he's alive" he almost smiled then "But that means that he will probably come back here"

You looked at him again, narrowing your eyes.

"If he comes back" he continued "We'll fight him"

"Of course" you shrugged "As you should"

"Will you fight with us?"

You licked your lips before answering.

"I don't fight anymore" you shrugged.

"Not even for your own home?" Ubbe pressed his lips together in disapproval.

"If I fight it's for myself" you raised an eyebrow "I fought for Ivar once too, but now it's just me, and I don't want to fight anymore"

"Fine" he raised his hands "Do whatever you want, but remember we could use a shieldmaiden like you"

"Does Hvitserk know? About Ivar" you asked, ignoring his disapproving stare.

"Amma went to tell him" he shrugged "I figured it would be better"

You looked away. You liked Amma. It was clear she cared about Hvitserk, but you weren't sure whether she understood him.

"Anyway" Ubbe stepped back "Just wanted to tell you. If you change your mind, you know where you can find us"

You watched him as he left, walking back to Kattegat. Ubbe would make a good king, you thought, better than Björn whose real desire was to travel to distant lands.

Looking back to the empty beach, you resumed your walk, knowing this would be maybe a bit longer than usual.

_________________________________

You had never seen Björn so angry. It scared you a bit, knowing there was nothing you could do and everything escaped your control. You felt guilty. If you had been with Hvitserk that night, maybe...  

He trembled between your arms. He felt terrible, you knew it, you hadn't left his side since they found the body. He confessed everything to you in a hushed voice, whimpering and shaking as his eyes looked everywhere.

'I thought she was Ivar'

Björn yelled, screamed and threw things around. A part of you wanted to laugh, to remind him how he laughed at Ivar when he wanted revenge for his mother. When you stood there, watching as they burned Lagertha's body, you felt everyone's sadness, and even felt bad for her. But the only thing in your mind was Aslaug's funeral, when they burned her body without her sons present, without anyone by her side. You remember seeing her falling to the ground when Lagertha's arrow caught her, and you remember searching for any sign of regret in Lagertha's face as she struck down the woman that treated you like a daughter, finding nothing. You remembered Ivar's cries. How you had to hold him when he lost both his parents at the same time, when no one cared but him. No one mourned her like they mourned her killer. Maybe that's why you felt some satisfaction seeing Björn yell and cry. It was justice, after all. The Seer said she would be killed by a son of Ragnar, it was fate, the Gods' doing, and not even Lagertha could escape it.

Even if you didn't feel sorry. Even if you wanted to smile and laugh at him, ask him how it felt when someone took what you loved from you, you now kneeled before him. Swallowing your pride and your satisfaction, to ask for forgiveness.

Not for you. For Hvitserk.

You had your eyes red from crying when you heard Hvitserk would be executed. Burned alive. If they took Hvitserk from you too...

Björn's stern face intimidated you, but you still looked up and opened your mouth.

"He wasn't himself" you took a deep breath "Please, he's your brother"

"I wouldn't be the first son of Ragnar that kills his own brother, would I?" his mockery tone infuriated you, but you closed your eyes to calm yourself down.

"Please" you repeated "Hvitserk is not well, he's sick, he's..."

"He is a drug addict!" he screamed, making you flinch "He's pathetic, not worthy of carrying my father's name!"

Your fist clenched.

"You didn't help him when I asked you to" you raised your voice "He lost control"

"I'm not his mother" he laughed bitterly "I owe nothing to him"

"He's your brother" you argued "And no, he doesn't have a mother, your own mother killed her" you raised an eyebrow "Remember?"

His entire expression darkened. He walked to you, until you raised your head to meet his eye. You could hear gasps and whispers from the people present.

"Are you saying my mother deserved to be killed by that piece of scum?" he whispered, leaning close to you with his eyes widened in rage.

"Maybe" you didn't look away. You kept your eyes fixed in his, and waited. Maybe you just condemned yourself to death, but you couldn't care less. It felt good to finally say what you thought.

Björn's face contorted in rage. He touched the handle of his sword, but seemed to change his mind and instead he yelled again. Men liked to yell when they were angry, sad or frustrated. And Björn was all of those things at the same time.

"I kept you alive because I pitied you" he shook his head "I thought you were just a poor woman whose husband forgot, that you were defenceless and quiet, a good person that was charmed by my little brother" he clenched his jaw "But you're not. You're exactly like him, and I should have killed you and sent your head to that pathetic excuse of a husband you had"

"You kept me alive because you're scared, Björn Ironside" you smirked softly, not letting his insults get to you "Because you know Ivar would be back to avenge my death, because you know he'd kill you. Because you can't beat him"

"I beat him" he raised his eyebrow "I'm king of Kattegat. He's exiled somewhere in the East, too scared to come back here"

"You didn't" you shook your head "He beat himself. With his own decisions and judgements. You just happened to be here too in the right moment"

"You know nothing" he spat at your feet "You're still loyal to him when he threw you away like you were a dog"

"I understand you're hurt" you shrugged "But killing Hvitserk won't bring your mother back"

"But there will be justice"

"Then Hvitserk was also doing justice to his own mother"

Björn growled again, and his fist clenched almost like he wanted to hit you. He turned around, paced for a few minutes until he looked back at you.

"Leave" he scowled at you "Don't ever step into this Hall for as long as I'm here or I will burn you alive next to you dear Hvitserk or worse, I will kick you out of this town forever"

You rolled your eyes at him. Hoping that annoyed him a bit more before turning around and leaving the Hall. Hvitserk wouldn't die. You'd make sure of that.

_________________________________

Tags: @mblaqgi @alicedopey @lol-haha-joke @hallowed-heathen @naaladareia @tephi101 @captstefanbrandt @love-hate-love @titty-teetee @readsalot73 @moondustmemories @therealcalicali @blushingskywalker @gruffle1 @justacripple @love-dria @heartbeats-wildly @letsrunawaytotomorrow @inforapound @sallydelys @hellogabysblog @trashcanx @winchesterwife27 @hecohansen31 @youbloodymadgenius @xinyourdreamsx @funmadnessandbadassvikings @eteramfools @tgrrose @lovessce @tootie-fruity @didiintheblog @alexhandersenx @belovedcherry @fantasydevil2002 @xceafh @astrape-the-weatherwitch @destynelseclipsa @momowhoo @nanahachikyuu @mcrmarvelloki @valopz @zuxiezendler @mynameisiliana

[amazingmaeve]

Babe ↠ Draco Malfoy

━ “i deserve better. i deserve someone who loves me.”

summary ━ y/n and draco had an arrange marriage ever since they got out of hogwarts. y/n thought that they would learn to love each other at least for her. y/n also catches him cheating more than once but he always has an excuse.

warnings ━ cheating, angst, fluff, eating disorder, social anxiety

a/n ━ babe by sugarland feat. taylor swift

word count ━ 3.5k

“You may now kiss the bride,” The priest says closing the bible.

Draco leans in and kisses Y/N while wrapping his hands around her cheeks. She on the other hand wrapped her arms around his neck kissing him back.

Even though this was one of the biggest days for Y/N she knew Draco didn’t want to kiss her. That he didn’t want to marry her.

Y/N’s parents and Draco's parents made an arrangement that they would get married. The two had no say. She thought she would grow feelings before the wedding and she did. But Y/N also thought Draco would be able to stand to be around her, but that wasn’t the case.

While trying to get to know Draco, Y/N tried everything. Doing things that peak his interest but it always ended with him snapping at her to leave him alone.

Y/N understood in the beginning. He didn’t want to get married neither did she. But Y/N dealt with that face that she had to do it.

She caught feelings fast since she’s had a crush on him ever since hogwarts. But she didn’t have the guts to do anything while at school and always felt sad when she saw him with Parkinson.

In Hogwarts Y/N wasn’t exactly known. She just tried keeping to herself so she didn’t bother anyone. She had one friend though. Rose, someone that kept by her side for everything, even the marriage.

For the rest of that night Draco didn’t even speak to Y/N. Nor did he look at her. She tried to keep smiling so people would think she’s happy.

And on the wedding night Y/N lost her virginity. It wasn’t everything everyone loved it up to be. It did hurt though and she thought Draco had the decency to stay and comfort her but she was wrong again.

Draco left the bed soon after to go to his study to do god knows what leaving Y/N alone. She wrapped the blanket around her naked body trying to get warm. Draco didn’t even seem to care about asking if she was fine.

She rested her head on the pillow letting a few tears fall out before squeezing her eyes shut. Y/N would not cry over Draco. She would not let herself be heartbroken.

But it didn’t stop the way she felt about him.

Y/N kept the perfect wife image up. Cooking and cleaning for him but he didn’t even seem to appreciate the food she cooked as he never even thanked her.

At nights he would silently come into bed late while Y/N wondered where he had been. She shook the thoughts out of her head trying to go to sleep.

The first of many arguments they had was a big one.

“Draco I’m tired of being treated like crap,” Y/N snapped putting her hands on her hips. Draco glared at her.

“I don’t care, I didn’t even want to marry you,” He screamed, throwing his arms up in the air out of frustration.

“You think I did,” Y/N chuckles out of amusements.

“I. Don’t. Care. You’re just one of those needy wives always want to be around their husbands, who are annoyed by them,” Draco slowly snapped at Y/N. She felt tears threaten to escape as she looked at the ground.

Y/N nodded continuing to chop up the vegetables for the food she was making. When she looked up she swore she saw some cult floating in his eye but she ignored puttering attention on the meal.

When food was done they ate in silence. Y/N finished first and went to go work on a painting she started before Draco got home.

Y/N got ready for bed an hour later putting her nightgown on and brushed her hair. She used a wipe to take the makeup off and finally went to lay down.

Draco returned to bed a couple minutes later slowly waking in. In reality Draco felt bad for treating her that way. It wasn’t her fault they got married so why’s he taking it out on her? He ponders as he takes his tie off and then the rest of his clothes.

He got his pajama pants on and climbed into bed laying down behind Y/N who was facing the wall. Draco wrapped his arm around Y/N spooning. The contact made her jump out of surprise, Draco had never even touched her at night.

“I’m sorry Y/N,” Draco apologized. “I know it’s not your fault and shouldn’t take it out on you,” He states.

“Can we at least try to be a married couple please,” Y/N begged, wanting him to care about her. He did but he didn’t want to show his feelings to her.

“We can try love,” He promises putting his face in the crook of her neck leaving a kiss there before falling back on the pillow behind him. He kept his arm around her as they both fell asleep.

Maybe this could work out. Y/N thought before she fell asleep.

Everything seems to be fine for the next few months. Draco was finally warming Y/N and starting talking and spending time with her. And she couldn’t be even more happy.

He seemed more happy now and now she was happy and that’s all that mattered.

“So how are you and Draco,” Rose asks, taking a sip of her tea. Rose was over at Draco and Y/N’s house for some girl time with her.

“Everything seems better ever since we had that talk a few months ago. Everything seems to be going fine,” Y/N says happily as she takes a sip of her tea after she finishes talking. It was true Draco seemed like he at least cared about her now.

“That’s good I was worried that he was going to break your heart but I guess I was wrong,” Rose shrugs putting the cup down looking at Y/N.

“I had that feeling too but it subsided when he realized what an ass he was,” Y/N replies, grabbing the tea cups and putting them in the sink so she could wash them later.

“That’s great Y/N. I’m so happy for you,” Rose smiles at how happy her friends seemed to be now.

Rose soon left after a few more conversations and she started to get dinner ready. She put the noodles in the bowl as she was making spaghetti. When the dinner was almost done Draco came in the house happily whistling to himself.

“I’M HOME LOVE,” Draco yelled as he took his jacket off and walked to the kitchen where Y/N was preparing the table.

“Hey love,” Y/N greeted as she ran over to him and planted a kiss on his lips. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she smelt some perfume.

“What’s wrong sweetheart,” Draco asked worriedly.

“Nothing,” Y/N lied leaning her head against his chest, his heartbeat calming her down and her suspicions as well.

Draco rested his chin on her head letting out a content sigh. He felt happy right now even though he did something that could ruin their relationship a few hours ago.

Meanwhile Y/N let go of Draco and went to put the spaghetti on plates. He sat down at the head of the table and she sat down next to him eating the spaghetti neatly.

“How was your day love,” Draco asked after swallowing some of the food. He grabbed the napkin and wiped his face.

“It was good Rose came over and we had some girl time,” Y/N replies with a smile looking up at Draco. He put his hand on hers which was on the table. He massages the top of her hand with the pad of his thumb.

“That’s good love,” Draco replies satisfied with her response. “You need to get out more,” He took a drink of wine after he finished the sentence.

“I know,” Y/N sighed looking at the plate of half eaten food. Her stomach grumbles for more but her head didn’t want it. She knew that she should get out more and make new friends but Y/N gets social anxiety when she talks to people she doesn’t know.

She also has a problem with her eating habits. Y/N tends not to eat when she thinks she’s gaining too much weight. Most people would say that’s wrong, you shouldn’t do that but Y/N doesn’t listen to them, only the voice in her head saying she isn’t right for Draco.

“I just hate talking to new people, Draco,” Y/N grumbles, putting her fork down.

“I know how bout this you come with me to a party that I’m planning,” Draco asks, putting his elbows on the table and wringing his hands together.

“I don’t know,” Y/N says doubtfully.

“I’ll be with you the whole time love,” Draco reassures by putting his hand on her thigh, giving it a squeeze.

“Fine but I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay all night,” Y/N agrees reluctantly. Draco gives her a big grin making her smile at him. As long Dracos by her side everything will be fine.

The party was in two weeks which gave Y/N the time to find a dress. Rose helped her with that.

In those two weeks Draco has been really suspicious. He came home really late and when he was home he spent most of his time in his study. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t talk to her. Usually at dinner and during breakfast.

When he did come home he reeked of perfume. And not hers. But Dracos probably has a lot of women with his job; this doesn’t mean anything. She keeps reminding herself also that Draco loves her and would never cheat on her.

Y/N hasn’t brought this up because she was certain that nothing was going on. But what if something did? She couldn’t get divorced since her parents would also disown her. Y/N would be stranded.

Now she shook the ideas out of her head putting her earrings on. She looked at herself in the mirror with a smile. She had put some makeup on and her dress. Y/N looked at herself all dolled up with a smile. A real smile.

Draco came behind her and put his hands on her arms and kissed her neck.

“You look beautiful love,” He whispered in her ear, making shivers go down her spine.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” Y/N giggles, turning around to put her hands on the lapels of his suit jacket.

She presses her lips against his and he hesitates for a second but Y/N misses that. He moves his hands to her hip and gives them a squeeze while Y/N moves her hands to his neck.

“I love you darling,” Draco whispers against her lips.

“I love you too,” Y/N repeats her heart skipping a bit at the notations.

The two had a mansion that was big. They got it from their families. Only 50 people would be at this party since the party room.

Y/N takes a sigh as Draco takes her hand and leads her down the stairs where the faint hum of music is played. People are dancing and having fun with one another.

Draco gives her a squeeze to reassure that everything will be fine. They both walk to the bar where only a couple people were.

Y/N ordered herself some while Draco ordered some bourbon. The two chatted about their days and or weeks. Y/N soon forgot people were even there as she sat comfortably with her husband having a good time.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Draco blurted out and before Y/N could even say something he was running off to the restroom.

Y/N sighed taking a sip of the wine. Draco would be back soon she reminded herself. She felt lucky people didn’t talk to her since she probably would’ve stuttered herself out of it.

Draco hadn’t returned after 25 minutes and Y/N was starting to get worried that her husband had passed out. Or he lost his way to her by talking to the party guests.

She tapped her painted nail against the hardwood of the bar table. She was starting to get nervous and her heart was beating fast. Y/N let out a breath trying to calm down and it worked but that didn’t stop her worry for Draco.

Y/N had enough and grabbed her purse, walking around the room she would be running if it wasn’t the heels that were ruining her feet. She decided to see if he was in the bathroom and fast walked over there.

She put her hand up to knock on the hardwood just in case someone was in there. But she stopped when she heard something.

“Draco,” Y/N heard somebody moan as she heard heavy breathing on the other side of the door.

It felt like time froze for Y/N. Maybe she got it wrong but she knew, she knew that Draco was cheating on her.

She sighed as she walked back to the bar with tears brimming her eyes. She sat down on the stool as the bartender noticed her sad look and poured her glass.

Y/N let out a sad sigh taking a drink and another and another. After about 3 drinks she felt the effects of the alcohol coming. She laid her arms on the table and buried her face in them.

She wanted to sob. She wanted to let it all out right now. But she couldn’t do it right not in front of so many people. Y/N could tell people were leaving since there were only a few more people left.

“Y/N love are you okay,” Draco worriedly asked, putting his hands on her back as he noticed how drunk she was.

She jumped at the contact and nodded her head but not lifting it. Draco’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion since she barely got drunk and when she did it was only when he was there.

Draco lifted her from the table to see a few tears rolling down her cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumb.

“What happened,” He asked confused and worried.

“Just got overwhelmed with everything,” Y/N lied pinching the bridge of her nose. She didn’t want to divorce Draco; she loved him so much. And plus her parents would disown her, leaving her all on her own.

“Come on love the parties over let’s go to bed,” Draco grabbed her waist and wrapped his arm around it. She let him help her to their shared room where he sat her down.

Y/N gave him a fake smile to reassure him everything was fine. Luckily he believed it. Draco went to the bathroom to undress himself while Y/N undressed herself on the bed.

No one was here except for the house elves who were probably sleeping. She helped out the elves not wanting to hurt them like her parents did. She thought they deserved to be treated with some respect.

Y/N got her nightgown on and laid her head down on the pillow. She didn’t even feel anything towards it. She just felt numb.

When Draco exited the bathroom she closed her eyes pretending to be asleep. Draco laid next to her putting his arm around her and pressing a kiss to her neck.

“Love you,” He whispered. Yeah right she thought. She kept the tears inside til Draco fell asleep.

She let the tears fall on the pillow as she sobbed silently. Why would draco lie to her and tell her loved her when he was fucking someone else. No wonder why he hasn’t slept with her in a few weeks.

She wanted to believe Draco was good. But she kept seeing Draco with this mystery woman. All Y/N knows is that she would never cheat on Draco even on her worst day.

Y/N eventually fell asleep after some crying and shoving the thoughts away.

The next morning Draco wasn’t there and left her a note saying that he had to go to work early. Y/N bit her lip to stop her from crying. She wondered even if he was going to work.

Y/N got dressed and went to go cook herself some breakfast to get her mind off the situation.

This happened for the next week. Draco left early and came home late leaving Y/N crying herself to sleep wondering what she did wrong. Luckily she fell asleep before he got home. And the situation repeated itself over and over.

Y/N was lucky since she really didn’t want to see Draco since if she did she would probably break down crying.

One day Draco woke up the same time she did. Y/N talked trying to convince him he didn’t know anything. Draco gave her sweet smiles and said they should schedule a lunch date which Y/N nodded reluctantly.

She couldn’t help but feel giddy as she got ready in a cute outfit. Still the sadness lurked around her head but she pushed them back so she could have fun with Draco.

Y/N was welcomed into his workplace and she opened his office door slowly with a smile. But frowned when she looked through the creek of the door.

She saw Draco and Astoria kissing. She was on the desk while he was standing up. Of course Astoria.

She was Dracos girlfriend before he broke up with her for the wedding. Y/N thought he was over her since he told her he loved her. Was it all a lie?

Her lip trembled as she closed the door and ran out the building. Tears cascading down her cheeks as people gave her weird looks. When she was out of the office she put her hand on her mouth to keep the sobs in.

Still the sobs kept coming.

Astoria was everything Y/N wanted to be. She had a good job, good friends and she had Draco's heart and Y/N reminded herself of that.

She was so stupid to believe that his feelings changed so fast. So stupid. Was it just a joke to him?

Still crying Y/N walked to Roses flat wanting to seek some comfort from someone and that person would be Rose. She felt bad for not calling her friend for the last week.

“Y/N,” Rose exclaimed, surprised seeing her best friend at her door with tears running down her cheeks. “C’mere love,” She whispered knowing something was wrong.

Rose helped Y/N to the couch and sat her down while she went to go make some tea to calm her down. Y/N was still trembling from the crying and Rose was worried about her friend.

Once Y/N calmed down she explained everything to Rose. Hearing Draco fucking Astoria and her catching them kiss in the office. She told her all about the suspicions before she even knew she was cheating.

“I always knew he was a backstabbing cheater,” Rose snapped angrily at Draco for breaking her friend's heart. “You have to divorce him,” She advised Y/N.

“No I can’t my parents will disown me and I’ll have nowhere to go,” Y/N rambled, putting her face in her hands.

“Come live with me,” Rose offered, finishing her tea and putting it down.

“You’d do that for me,” Y/N asked, surprised looking up from her hands.

“Yes you’re my best friend now go and dump that piece of shit,” Rose grabbed her friend's hand pulling her up.

“Fine I’ll go do that and I guess I’ll come back at night,” Y/N sighed, getting her bag and running off.

When Y/N got to his house now, she packed all of her stuff and waited in her bed room for Draco to show up. She cried silently wondering what she did wrong.

He finally did after two hours. She was still crying when he entered the bedroom with a confused look on his face.

“Darling what’s wrong,” He asked concerned

“Why’d you do it,” Y/N sniffed standing up crossing her arms across her middle. Draco sighed realizing what she had found out.

“You know,” Draco says nonchalantly.

“Yes I just want to know why,” She whimpered a bit out as tears silently came out.

“I love her,” Draco admitted looking at his feet. He still cared for Y/N and he didn’t want to hurt her but he loved Astoria. “I love Astoria.”

Y/N nodded biting her lip to keep herself from sobbing and falling to her knees. She grabbed her bags as Draco grabbed her arm looking down at her.

“I’m sorry love,” Draco says sorrowfully.

“I deserve better. I deserve someone who loves me,” Y/N snaps crossing her arms over her chest.

“I know and I’m sorry again,” Draco pinches the bridge of his nose frustrated.

“Yeah I’m sorry too,” She snapped glaring at him through her tears. “I’m sorry I even agreed to marry a snake like you,” She walked out slamming the door, making him flinch.

Y/N sighed as the cool air hit her face. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest. She didn’t have to worry about him anymore.

She didn’t have to deal with the pain anymore.

[i-need-entertainment]

Haikyuu!! Boys and whether or not they’re picky eaters

Characters: Akaashi, Washio, Konoha, Kita, Suna, Ushijima, Yahaba, Iwaizumi, Futakuchi, Daishou, Numai and Iizuna

Warnings: Mentions of being beat in Futakuchi’s but it’s not abuse or anything like that, choking on food in Daishou’s

**I am a very picky eater, so I tried to be as unbiased as possible in this one!!**

Akaashi Keiji: A little

It’s not super obvious, he eats a fairly broad range of foods.

He has fruits, vegetables, meats, etc. That he likes, so the amount of things he doesn’t like gets overlooked.

He isn’t super vocal about it either, he just subtly doesn’t eat the things he doesn’t like.

He strikes me as someone who doesn’t like raw vegetables, like raw broccoli or cauliflower. 

He likes them cooked, just not raw.

Washio Tatsuki: Not really

Doesn’t really have foods he doesn’t like.

He can find something he likes pretty much anywhere, his palate is pretty diverse.

The only food he really doesn’t like jello.

Part of it is the texture, the other part is it’s just too sweet.

But other than that, he doesn’t really dislike many things.

That’s not to say he’ll eat anything, he’s pretty open minded when it comes to food, but he has his limits.

So ‘weird’ things are off the table for him.

Konoha Akinori: Y E S

Getting him to eat anything green is near impossible.

His family constantly brings up how hard it was to feed him as a child.

Like, the only vegetables he would willingly eat were green beans and carrots.

Everything else was a big fat no.

And to be honest, it really didn’t change as he got older.

LOVES junk food and anything sweet or unhealthy, but if it’s labeled ‘healthy’ or ‘organic’ he won’t touch it.

Unbeknownst to him, his mom’s been feeding him the burgers with the veggies mixed in for years lol.

Kita Shinsuke: No

Granny didn’t raise no picky eater.

I wouldn’t say he was forced to eat certain foods.

But there was no negotiating going on.

As he grew older, it just made sense for him to eat balanced and healthy meals, since diet is key to good health.

I just can’t imagine him being super picky when it comes to foods anyways.

But the one thing he absolutely hates is radishes.

Doesn’t know what it is, but he’s never liked them and he never will.

Suna Rintaro: Yes and No

Will eat anything and everything put in front of him.

Except for certain things.

Like, he’ll eat all beans except Lima beans.

Or he’ll eat all fish except salmon.

You get what I mean?

He’s not considered picky because he does eat a large variety of things, and most things.

But the things he doesn’t like he absolutely will not touch. There’s no ‘trying it just in case’ if he didn’t like it before, he will never like it.

Ushijima Wakatoshi: Nope

Will eat anything and everything put in front of him.

Doesn’t so much as question it.

Like Kita, he’s mindful of his nutrition and diet so he eats pretty healthy.

But he seems like someone who likes pretty much everything.

Sure he has his preferences and things he’s not a fan of.

But he can’t really think of anything he despises.

Most often if he doesn’t like something prepared one way, he’ll like it prepared another way. Like Akaashi with the raw/cooked vegetables.

Yahaba Shigeru: No

He seems like someone raised in a stricter household, or at least it was strict when they were kids.

His parents rule for the dinner table was ‘you don’t leave until you’ve finished your food’ so he learned not to be too picky of an eater after that.

He seems like someone who likes to cook and try new things, so he’s pretty open minded and experimental to new things!

Will try the ‘weird’ foods because he’s genuinely curious, even if they seem inedible.

Iwaizumi Hajime: n o

Like Ushijima, he’ll eat anything and everything put in front of him.

But I do think for personal reasons, he doesn’t like carrots.

When he was a baby he ate so many carrots his nose turned orange, and after that he wouldn’t so much as touch them.

Also isn’t a big fan of nuts, like peanuts, almonds, those type of things.

He likes peanut butter, but not peanuts.

Futakuchi Kenji: YES

Has a good 20 foods he will for sure eat and most of them come out of a box.

I mean, his favorite food is sour gummies.

I think that speaks for itself.

The only vegetable he really does like is tomatoes.

Everything else elicits an ‘over my dead body’ response from him.

Has just about daily battles with his mom over food.

Her trying to not to beat her teenage son, and him trying not to have to eat his peas.

His mom fed him the veggie-infused burgers until he figured it out.

Daishou Suguru: No. He just doesn’t eat certain things.

Isn’t picky, he holds grudges.

If he and a food ever had a bad experience, he will never, and I do mean never ingest it again.

He choked on a jelly bean when he was like 8 so he never touched one again.

Or if he ever found a worm in an apple, he’d only eat cut up fruit.

Also seems like someone who doesn’t like slimy things, like snails or jelly sticks.

Numai Kazuma: Nope

If it’s edible, he’ll eat it. 

He’s really not picky when it comes to food, just so long as it tastes good.

Food wise, he’s the perfect guy to bring home cause no matter what your mom makes or how good/bad it is, he will eat it with a smile on his face and give good compliments.

The type to order something from a restaurant and make 0 changes.

Absolutely none.

Will also eat anything off your plate that you don’t like, so if you’re a picky eater, he’ll be happy to take what you don’t want~

Iizuna Tsukasa: Yes...?

Has a lot of foods he doesn’t like, but it’s only because he is extremely susceptible to textures.

Doesn’t like fish, well he likes some fish, just not most fish.

He tries to avoid anything with a squishy or mushy texture.

Like, when fruit gets a little past ideal eating, but it’s still perfectly edible, he can’t eat it cause it just feels so...mushy.

Has no problem with most vegetables, fruits, meats, most foods actually.

But he is relentlessly picked on by his sisters for the things he doesn’t like, since they seem like normal things, and his reasons for not liking them are weird.

[unrestedjade]

Baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for and that get increasingly queer-navel-gazing and self indulgent because the horrible space goblins have consumed my brain:

- Mobile ears, because if hearing is so well developed and important to them they should be able to aim those big stupid radar dishes. Also because then they can emote with them and that's cute. THE AESTHETIC IS PARAMOUNT.

- Since they canonically sharpen their teeth with chew sticks and sharpeners, their teeth must grow continuously. So I submit: subcultures that let certain teeth grow out as a fashion/political statement. Ferengi punks and anarchists with 5" tusks. Ferengi with all their teeth filed flat (mom and dad HATE it).

- Corollary to the above, most of their teeth are crooked. At the least, they don't share our fetish for straight teeth. What if their teeth are deciduous, and there's no point in trying to force them into perfect alignment, since they'll just fall out and get replaced? So like, sharks but their teeth can also grow longer with no limit. WHAT HAST EVOLUTION WROUGHT ON FERENGINAR :V

- Parents nagging their kids to sharpen their teeth "or they'll grow up into your brain and you'll die :)"

- Personal space? Don't know her.

Okay I need a cut because there's too many now. WHOLE SOCIETY OF GAY HOMOPHOBIC UNCLES AND AUNTS GO I HAVE A PROBLEM

- I can't remember who on here put forth the idea of them having retractable claws but Yes. :3

- Pushing back against the worst canon episode a bit but: relative ear size being the only obvious sexually dimorphic trait, and even that having enough of a gray area that the only way to be 100% sure you're talking to a male or female Ferengi is if you do a blood test. Unless they're intersex! *shrug emoji*

- This is why they're so fanatical about gender conformity and their Victorian "separate spheres" attitude to men and women's roles. Capitalist patriarchy is fragile! And as artificial to Ferengi as it ever was to Humans! (self-indulgenceeeee about gender shiiiiit)

- You know how with domesticated rabbits, the rabbit getting groomed and paid attention to is the boss? Yeah. Go ahead and paint your bestie's nails, just don't be surprised if she cops a little bit of an attitude with you from then on.

- Their fight/flight/freeze/fawn instincts skew heavily toward the last three, and what a lot of other species read as annoying sucking up is the Ferengi in question feeling anxious and unsafe. Especially if they don't feel integrated into the group. Even being at the bottom of the pecking order is better than not being in the flock at all.

- If they DO opt for fight, it's ugly and typically their last resort. Bites or scratches will get infected without intervention-- microbes that their immune system can handle could cause big trouble for aliens. You might wanna check for full or partial teeth that break off and get lodged in the wound, too.

- Too many of these are tooth related but I don't care. :B More teeth stuff: you know what else has teeth that grow constantly? Puffer fish. Likewise, Ferengi can chew up mollusk shells as easy as potato chips, and they need the minerals for their teeth. (Imagine grandpa Sisko offering Nog a crayfish for the first time and watching as he just...pops the whole damn thing in his mouth and crunches away...)

- Their staple foods seem to be grubs and other arthropods, high in protein and fat. I've unilaterally decided their cuisine also involves a lot of edible fungi, ferns, plant shoots and seeds. Gotta get those vitamins. Overall flavor profile leaning toward umami, vegetal, and fresh herbs, and pretty mild (or "delicate" if you wanna be snooty about it, which a Ferengi probably would let's be real).

- Not much sugary food. I'm basing this solely on Quark's aversion to root beer as "cloying". Which could definitely just be his personal preference, but most of the people I hear hating on root beer cite the actual sassafras/sarsaparilla flavor (saying it tastes like medicine) not the sweetness. Nog might be the weirdo outlier for being able to enjoy it.

- Their home planet isn't bright and sunny, so their eyes are better at discerning shades of gray in low light conditions, with relatively weak color vision. Which could explain why they dress Like That.

- Conversely, human music has a reputation for stinking on ice because a lot of it is juuuuust lightly dissonant or out of tune because we can't pick up flaws that small. Ferengi can, and it drives them up the *wall*.

- Music? So many different kinds. Traditionally, maybe lots of percussion and winds, and water as a common component of many instruments to alter pitch or tone. Polyphony out the ass. Some of the modern stuff is an impenetrable wall of sound if you're not a species with a lot of brain real estate devoted to processing sounds. Pick out one melody to follow at a time.

- Yes, back to teeth again I'm sorry. It's a sickness. At some point in their history, pre-chewing food was just something you did for your baby or great grandma as a matter of necessity. Possibly your baby gets an important boost to their immune system and gut biome from your spit. At some point takes on a more formal intimacy aspect and gradually drifted from something all adults and older kids do to something only women do. Your husband and older kids have perfectly functional teeth, but you love them, right? =_= (Think old memes about husbands being useless in the kitchen if little wifey isn't there to cook, but even more ridiculous. Ishka was right about everything but especially this. Thank you for making your family chew their own food, Ishka. Not all heroes wear capes. Or anything!)

- How did they get started on the whole men: clothed vs women: unclothed nonsense? My equally stupid idea: men just get cold easier. Those huge ears dissipate a ton of body heat. Cue Ferengi cliches like "jeez, we could be standing on the surface of the sun and my husband would put on another layer." At some point, again, this got codified and pushed to ridiculous extremes in the name of controlling women and keeping everyone in their assigned box, to the point that women just have to shiver if they really are too cold and men have to pass out from heat stroke if the alternative is going shirtless, because That Would Be Inappropriate.

- Marriages default to five years, but they're also the only avenue for women to have their own household or any stability. Plus their religion places no emphasis on purity save for pure adherence to the free market and the RoA. So, curveball to the rest of their patriarchal bullshit: female virginity isn't a concern in the least. Bring it up and they'll rightly side-eye you.

- Family law is absolutely bonkers and lawyers that specialize in it make BANK. I feel like custody would default to the father usually but oh wait, the maternal grandfather has a legal stake in this, too, and your next father-in-law is asking HOW many kids are you dragging into my daughter's house, etc etc. Growing up with a full sibling is way rarer than growing up with half or stepsiblings, since it usually takes both men and women two or three tries to find someone they vibe with. (Not love, unless you're super cringe.)

- A misogynistic society is a homophobic society. Imo those flavors of shittiness just come in pairs. Homosexual behaviors are fine within certain parameters (aka "always have sex with the boss") but not on your own terms. To add spice, bisexuality is their most common mode (because I'm bi and these are my hcs for my fics I'm not writing, so there), but capitalism demands fresh grist for the mill so you better get het-married and pop out some kids you lowly peons. You have a choice so make the proper one. :)

- Corollary to the above, that doesn't keep all kinds of illicit "we're just friends with quid-pro-quo benefits for realsies" affairs of every stripe and every gender from going on everywhere. Many Ferengi have a lightbulb moment somewhere in early adulthood when they figure out their dad's business partner or the "auntie" who visited their mom every month had a little more going on.

- Plus there's way more gender non-conformity and varying degrees of trans-ing than the powers that be have a handle on. Pel isn't unique, even if most would have to somehow make it out into space to be able to thrive.

Damn a lot of these are just my personal bugbears plus THE GILDED AGE BUT WITH HAIRLESS SPACE RODENTS ain't they

- Women can't earn profit, okay. But lending or "lending" things to each other isn't commerce, riiiiiiight? To be assigned female is to master navigating a vast, dizzying barter/gift economy. Smart boys and men leverage this, too, and there are splinter sects that view this as the purest expression of the Great Material Continuum.

- Of course plenty of women make profit anyway, and just do their bast to dodge the FCA. The tough thing about insisting on using latinum as currency is that cash can be so hard to track, you know?

- Because of the RoA, guys are discouraged from doing favors or giving gifts without setting clear expectation of getting some return on investment. This can twist into an expression of friendship (and of course women do it too), and the ledger will keep cycling between debit and credit among friends for decades. A common mistake aliens make is to tell them recompense isn't needed without explaining why, or return their favor or present with something that zeroes out the debt. The Ferengi will assume you want to break off the friendship. (I cribbed this from dim memories of an African studies course I took in 2007 and whose textbook I know I still have but I can't frigging find it...)

- Flirting, they do a lot of it for a lot of reasons. Roddenberry made it clear that they're just straight up pretty horny, but there's no reason it can't pull double duty for building alliances with other people, smoothing over feuds or disagreements, or cementing friendships. Ferengi who are ace and/or sex-repulsed are possibly viewed similar to the way we'd view someone who's "not a hugger/not big on touching" and if they flirt just don't get offended if it doesn't go any further; aro Ferengi don't garner much comment aside from an occasional "wow how badass, never falling in love with anyone."

- where to even start on making sense of the Blessed Exchequer??? Like seriously, what is this literal prosperity gospel insanity, I need to force myself to re-read Rand and like, some Milton Friedman for this shit. Help.

- fuck I'm probably going to actually do that, RIP me...

[runtedfiction]

the best

day 5: domesticity @zelinkweek2021

ao3

AN: i could spend a lifetime writing sleepy domestic scenes. also shoutout to @itcantbe, whose sweet and thoughtful comments have kept me going all week :)

* * *

Four times there’s someone waiting at home.

* * *

“You’re sure moving in together is a good idea,” Zelda says when all their boxes are already combined, stacked neatly on the floor of their new apartment.

Link laughs. “You’re asking me this now?”

“I’m asking you this now.”

He kisses the top of her head. There’s natural light, oak hardwood, and a kitchen with an island. This is everything they wanted, so she’s not sure why there’s dread gnawing at the bottom of her stomach. The loss of privacy? The merging of two lives? The thought of there always being a loving, patient partner to come home to?

He smiles at her when she hands him the scissors to open the first box. “I’m sure.”

* * *

They move in over the course of a weekend, and Monday is right back to work. It’s a rough Monday too--there’s a memory leak in one of her team’s apps and she spends all day trying to plug it. When she takes the train home she nearly gets off at her old stop. Remembering that her new place is slightly farther is enough to put her in a crabby mood when she comes home.

“Hey,” he says when she walks in the door. A waft of something warm and savory scents hits her. He didn’t mention that he’d be cooking today.

“Hello.”

Link looks up from the cutting board--her “Hello” did sound a bit terse coming out of her mouth. “How was your day?”

She flops down on the couch. “Ugh.”

“Ugh?”

“Ugh.”

“Well,” he says, sprinkling something on top of whatever’s in the pot, “dinner is ready whenever. I’m killing the heat now.”

“Mmhmm.” She pulls out her phone and starts scrolling.

“Man,” he says, and he goes to the couch. “Bad day?”

She puts her phone down to bury her face in his shoulder. “The worst.”

(“Better that you’re here now” goes unsaid. She wants a bit more time to mope around.)

He threads her finger through hers. “I’m sorry bud. You wanna talk about it over dinner? I made that veggie soup you like.”

She perks up, just a bit. “The one with the pasta?”

“The one with the pasta.”

* * *

The rest of the week isn’t much better. When Purah messages her asking if she wants to grab drinks after work on Friday, Zelda reacts with every “yes” they have in their company Slack.

“Fucking hell,” she says, sipping on a too-expensive drink in a too-nice bar. “Memory leaks on Monday, urgent stakeholder requests later, and unredacted log info today?”

Purah shakes her head. “They don’t pay you enough.”

“Amen.”

Robbie and Impa come, and Purah buys everyone a tequila shot. Then Zelda buys a round, because why not, and soon the four of them are out on the street giggling and searching for a karaoke bar.

Her phone buzzes. It’s Link.

“Hello?”

(“Ooooooooh Liiiink,” Purah coos. Zelda chooses to ignore her.)

“Hi,” he says. “I’m heading out from Daruk’s thing; I’ll be home in like 30.”

“Ok,” she says, and checks the time on her watch. “Oh, it’s one already! Don’t wait for me, I’m not too sure how long it’ll be.”

“Ok,” he says. “Have fun stay safe.”

“Yeah, I will!”

They find a karaoke bar that’s charmingly shitty with a two drink minimum. As soon as they walk in, someone is doing a very bad but very passionate rendition of “My House” by Flo Rida. They also queue up for the stage--Impa is willing to do a basic Taylor Swift song with her because she’s a stellar friend--and spend the rest of the night dancing and drinking.

It’s somewhere between four and five when Zelda makes it back home, still drunk but mostly tired. She changes into pajamas and brushes her teeth far too quickly, careful to not turn on the electric mode so Link doesn’t wake up.

She climbs into bed as quietly as she can considering her head is swimming and she can feel the blood rushing through it. Link stirs a bit, and she’s relieved when his breathing goes back to normal. But then he turns towards her, and fuck, maybe she really did wake him up.

Except all he does is sigh sleepily and reach for her.

Zelda, who was so exhausted and cold and tipsy a moment ago, melts.

* * *

The first time she plans dinner when he’s running late is mostly a success. She picked up a bottle of fancy French soda, the garlic bread is in the oven, and the sauce will come together soon.

There’s just one complication.

“You burned the spaghetti?”

She looks at the pot of clearly burned spaghetti. “No.”

He laughs, and redoes his ponytail to wash his hands and start slicing garlic. “Why didn’t you just get a bigger pot for the noodles?”

“Leave me alone,” she says, bumping her hip into his.

“No.”

He drops the knife to hug her. She tries to wriggle her way out of his grip to no avail.

* * *

When Sidon’s birthday rolls around, Zelda gets home earlier this time. Link insists that she go to bed, but he said he’d be home before three and she can wind down with some TV anyway.

(And if she checks his location every fifteen minutes and glances at the door every twenty to see if the lock will turn, what of it?)

When he does come in, she tries her hardest to look casual, and not like she’s been pining for the last two hours, and knew exactly when he would come home.

“Hello,” she says.

“Hi,” he replies, voice a little croaky. His hair is down fully, and he looks tired.

“Fun night?”

He shakes his head and smiles. “A little too fun. We went to that karaoke bar you recommended.”

“Nice!” She pats the seat next to her. “What’d you sing?”

“‘Home’.” When he sits down he smells like beer. “That Edward, something, Magnetic one?”

“Oh yeah. That’s a good one.”

“What’re you watching?”

“Oh.” She turns back to the TV. “Something silly. Paris Hilton has a cooking show now.”

“Huh.”

“Here’s a glass of water.” She lifts it off the coffee table. “Drink up so tomorrow morning isn’t that bad.”

His smile turns sheepish. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“You know,” he says later while they watch Paris Hilton make the worst French toast in the world, “sometimes I hate going out.”

“Why?” she asks, surprised.

“Home is nice,” he explains. He puts his head on her shoulder. “Warm and clean. And”--he hesitates, and she wonders if he’s going to say something cheesy because he always stops before that—”you’re here.”

“So cheesy,” she says.

He scrunches up his nose. “I know.”

She laughs and takes his hand. “But I get it. Welcome home.”

* * *

Months later, over a bowl of vegetable soup, he asks her if she’s sure this was a good idea.

Zelda looks up from her phone. “What?”

“When we first moved in together,” he explains around a bite of pasta and carrots and beans, “you asked me if I was sure this was a good idea.”

She laughs, and takes a sip. The tomato flavor is especially tangy today. “I did, didn’t I?”

“Yup.”

“Well,” she says with a shrug, “this place is everything we wanted. Hardwood, big kitchen, good light.”

He rolls his eyes. “You know that’s not what I'm asking.”

She smiles. “I know.”

She places a hand over his. He raises an eyebrow and asks, “So?”

“I think,” she starts, giving his hand a squeeze. He squeezes back and smiles. “I think this was the best idea ever. Having someone to come home to is nice.”

His smile grows soft. “The best?”

She nods, sure of it. “The best.”

[writersrealmbts]

Cruise

Description: Part of the summer #btswritingbingo, hosted by @bangtanwritingbingo! For the Boating prompt.  A summer cruise as a translator for world-famous band BTS: what could go wrong? WELL, the zombie apocalypse. In the middle of the ocean, are you safe? Or is there danger lurking in the deep?

Warnings: Mentions of death, violence (especially after the third content break), mild language? (I can’t remember if there’s language or not but I’ll tag it)

Posted: 06/11/2021

Tags: Zombie apocalypse au, Yoongi x reader

Angst?: 8,342 words

A/N: Oh look, another zombie au. 

The engine was idling.

The radio was on, and everyone was listening to the broadcast in silence. The horror was slowly growing in your stomach.

“The country is overrun, we’re broadcasting from a locked room, and we aren’t certain how much longer we can hold out…how much longer we’ll be safe. We’ve had news from several other countries reporting the same conditions. They’re mindless, react to movement…don’t like bright lights…most active starting at dusk all the way through dawn. Don’t let them injure you. They hid the mutagen in vitamins and supplements. Whatever you do…don’t ingest anything from Biogene International.”

You swallowed hard, hugging yourself as background sounds of other voices and banging echoed through the radio

“Oh God, they’ve found us,” The radio announcer murmured. “I guess this is it. If you’re isolated from infestations, I suggest you stay isolated. Cut off the heads. And enjoy this last song by Andy Lange. God save us all.”

The radio started playing ‘Not Sure Yet’, and you just listened to it as your heart broke.

They finally ruined the world.

And you weren’t with your friends and family when it happened.

You were with your stupid ex-boyfriend that you’d just broken up with, the staff of the ship that hired you as an extra translator for the last group—a kpop group and their staff that were filming a vacation show of some sort.

And you’d have to be born under a mountain of rocks to not know that the kpop group was BTS, and in any other situation you’d be excited about helping them as a semi-casual fan of theirs.

But right now you really hated them, and their choice of this ship that employed your ex-boyfriend—even if you’d been the one to get him that job.

“So,” The spoken-of devil murmured, coming to stand next to you. “Sounds like the world is actually ending.”

You took a deep breath, because everyone could hear, and were subtly watching.

“Changes a lot of things doesn’t it?”

“Except one.”

“What?”

You turned to him. “I still would rather die alone than live my life with you.”

He sputtered, but you didn’t stay to listen to him try to argue with you, turning off the radio since it had turned to static and going to the other translator.

“Do they know?”

He nodded gravely. “They’re trying to check on their families.”

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” You told him, bowing slightly to the other staff and the boys before going over to some of the other crew. “How much food do we have?”

“Maybe enough for a week,” The cook, Lori, answered. “If I ration.”

“Do it. Same with water?”

“We should have two weeks, more if we cut back on showers, mopping, other excess water usage,” The first mate said, staring out at the horizon. “Hopefully by then we’ll know if there’s a safe port. The captain went to try and radio as many other ships as possible.”

“We should make sure none of that Biogene stuff is on the ship,” One of the engineers said.

The first mate nodded, quickly moving. “Everyone! We need to make sure that there are no Biogene products on this vessel. Please go check all of your pills and supplements, anything that could be pharmaceutical or…just check everything!”

You translated quickly, then went to check your own things. You didn’t have much that could be from that company, but you checked absolutely everything just to be sure.

Then you went to help the staff and band just in case.

They weren’t coming up with anything, so you headed for the captain’s cabin just to see if there were any more plans at that point.

Captain Cobden Alby was an elder man, who tended to become an Uncle, Brother, or Grandfather figure for anyone who’d let him look out for them. You knew him relatively well, because he’d looked out for you when you started working with his tourism company, helping foreigners book trips with him and accompanying them on trips to help out. You’d worked with him for the past three years, and he’d been kind enough to hire your then boyfriend when he needed a job—though you now understood his reluctance. You wished he’d been more reluctant.

“Well, y/n,” Cob sighed. “Guess this is a new chapter. Any ideas?”

“Islands will gain control more quickly, I think, and there are a couple uninhabited islands we might be able to land at if we get desperate. We have nets, so we can fish if we have to. And if we start getting stills set up now, we can provide ourselves with more water. Revert to basic survival, I think.” You chewed your lip. “But if we’re going to use an uninhabited island, I think we should find one and stick around it, because people are going to try and escape by boat and they might bring it with them. The likelihood of the messages and warnings reaching everyone is slim.”

He sighed and nodded. “Our passengers?”

“Scared. But everyone is checking for the products to dispose of them, as you know, and they’re trying to contact their families back in Korea.”

“Have you tried your family?”

You stared out at the water. “I’m afraid to.”

He nodded again, looking grim. “I’ve heard from a couple other ships. We’re going to have issues with food at some point, so the island idea might be good. Maybe we can work with the other ships as long as they stay uninfected to build a sort of safe-haven?”

“Maybe,” You agreed. “We’ll be breaking laws if we land on some of the islands though. Or fish near them. They are wildlife refuges right now.”

“Hon, I don’t think that’s as big of an issue as of yesterday,” Lori said, shutting the door. “We can respect the wildlife. It would only be temporary, right? I mean, things have to stabilize sometime, and I think the islands should stabilize more quickly.”

You didn’t have very high hopes for the islands stabilizing, unless they were able to quickly regulate who came in and out of the populace of Hawaii. But people were creative and there were thousands of boats and planes in existence.

“Alright, so we’re going to go near the closest uninhabited, and weigh anchor, just for safety. But we’re not going to do anything on the island or any fishing until absolutely necessary. We’ll get some water stills set up, and start rationing the food. Try to preserve some fruits, Lori.”

She nodded. “You got it, Captain. But you better get someone else on those stills. Not my division, you know.”

“I’ll get our engineer on it. Dobby will need to be distracted anyway. Y/n, you should go tell our passengers the plan for now.”

“Right. First, I want a thank you.”

“For?”

“Convincing you to invest in some backup solar power for the ship to run things like the radios.” You paused at the door. “How long can the engines run?”

“I made sure we had enough to last us a couple of months, and I’ve got us going slow to reduce consumption. But we’ll have to start thinking about how to move once we run out, which is why I think your idea for the islands is a good one. The ship would be a safety point, and we could use the life-boats to get back and forth. At least until we have some sort of relief. And we might be able to go somewhere before we run out of gas. You never know. This might blow over quickly.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” You went out to check on the idols and their staff again.

They had gathered in the dining lounge, and everyone was double checking each other to make sure that there weren’t any Biogene products.

“Everyone, I’ve just finished talking to our captain, and he’s asked me to tell you our current course of action,” You started, gathering the idols and staff’s attention to explain things. “We’ve communicated with some other ships, but our current course is to head for an uninhabited island and keep to the coast of that. We have the supplies to fish, and our cook is currently working on preparing the food for rationing. Our top engineer is going to work on making sure we have a constant source of drinkable water, but for now we’re reducing our water usage. We’re scanning the radio frequencies to try and find another source of information for what’s going on out in the world, but right now it’s very quiet. We ask for your cooperation as we continue to approach these problems calmly and rationally, and your patience as we try to figure things out.”

“Is food an issue?” Seokjin asked.

You shook your head. “Not at the moment, we’re just trying to make sure it lasts as long as possible, especially our fruits and vegetables. Anything in the kitchen that we can regrow here on the ship, we will attempt to do so. The ship was stocked for at least a hundred passengers, plus the crew, and since we don’t even reach sixty with the passengers and crew combined, we should be able to hold out for a while, we’re just trying to make our food last as long as possible, which is why we will likely be utilizing the fishing nets, so we can eat and still prepare for the future. Because we have had warning, we have time to prepare for the worst, but we are still hoping for the best. We are not giving way to fear. At the moment, all we’re asking is that you remain calm and patient with us.”

That seemed to be agreeable for everyone, so you bowed a bit and then went to check in with the other translator and manager to find out what you could do to help.

Yoongi intercepted you. “Hey, sorry, I know you’re busy.”

“It’s fine, how can I help you?”

“Um, actually, I was going to ask if there was anything we could do to help? It’d be…hard to just ignore the situation.”

“I understand, unfortunately, at this moment, we’re not even certain what we need to get done. When we do, I will let you know if there is any way for you to help. For now, we have solar power that you can continue to use for charging your phones, just in case you get a call from your families, and we can power the lights. Any extra batteries, try to save them.”

He nodded. “Okay. Shouldn’t they turn of the air conditioning then?”

You shook your head. “That would be inviting trouble. People get less rational when they overly warm or cool. Turning it off would reduce morale.”

He considered it, then nodded. “Okay.”

You nodded as well, then moved on to talk to their managers.

You didn’t sleep that night, helping in the kitchen and mulling over different ideas to try for powering the boat. In theory, with the engineers’ help, you might be able to convert the engines to wind power, or at least move the boat using wind power, if you were careful enough. But where would you get the parts?

And theoretically, some of the fruits and veggies and other things could be regrown.

But what would you grow them in?

Lori had some sitting in a shallow tray of water to start sprouting, and some would continue to grow in just water, but others would need soil.

“Wake up, hon,” Lori said gently, patting your back. “Cap’n wants you. Something on the radio he wants you to hear.”

You rubbed your eyes as you forced yourself up. “How long was I…?”

“An hour,” She said in a scolding tone, giving you a look of disapproval. “A young thing like you needs regular sleep. I could have done that in the morning.”

You shrugged. “My mind wouldn’t shut off. You were awake. Like you said, I’m younger.”

“You tried calling your family?”

You shook your head. If they hadn’t tried to contact you, then there would be no point in trying to contact them. Either the call wouldn’t go through, or there was no one to make the call. Or they just weren’t able to call because they had no means or it was too dangerous. Any way you looked at it, it was safer to allow them to try and contact you. They knew you were on a ship, and your father studied epidemiology, so he would know that the ship would either go down quickly or not at all, barring a few statistical outliers.

Your father always called you a statistical outlier.

“Here, take this up with you, find a spot where it won’t get knocked over that gets some sun and some shade. Okay?”

You nodded, taking the tray up with you.

“Y/n,” Yoongi called, waving.

You nodded your greeting to him and the others, trying to pinpoint a good spot for it, finally finding it on a table that was bolted to the wall.

“Is this what we’re regrowing?”

You jumped a bit, turning to the boys with a hand over your heart. “Um, yes. One of the trays, anyway. We’ve got more down there, but they aren’t full yet so…this is the first one to come up for sunlight.”

“Cool,” Taehyung whispered.

Yoongi looked it over. “It…doesn’t look like much.”

You sighed. “I know. But like I said, if all goes well, these should regrow and we’ll just start the process over again. But I’ve been summoned.”

“Summoned?”

“Y/N to the Bridge, Y/N, please report to the bridge.”

You pointed up at the speakers.

“Oh, and maybe bring one of the representatives with you.”

You sighed. “Um, know where your managers are?”

They all shook their heads.

“I could come,” Yoongi offered.

You considered for a moment, then nodded. “Okay, only to save time though, I’m not going to be the one to get in trouble—got it?”

He nodded, gesturing for you to lead the way.

Cob glanced up when you came in. “You’ll love this. Hey, Johnny, I got my person here, mind repeating that now?”

As Johnny started retelling his tale, you slowly processed and translated for Yoongi.

“They were near one of the islands of Hawaii, and sometime in the night they started hearing noises against the hull of the ship…” You paused, horrified. “The creatures…they can survive in the water, and swim. He lost three people when some of the creatures managed to climb aboard.”

Yoongi looked just as grim. “So we’re not safe, even on a ship away from shore?”

You didn’t know the answer to that. “He says he’s going to see how far away from shore they’re able to follow him. That will help us determine how safe we may or may not be.”

Cob thanked Johnny, then turned to the two of you. “Well, what do you think? Do we tell the others of this possibility, or keep it quiet?”

You weren’t sure how to answer that either. There were pros and cons for both sides. But there were more cons for—

“We don’t tell them,” Yoongi said firmly.

You met his gaze and nodded, translating. “It would just incite panic. We don’t tell them until we know that it is a possibility, and even then, we wait until we’ve calculated when they could reach us.”

Yoongi nodded his agreement.

Cob sighed. “Right. You’re right. I just….”

“Take a break. That’s what Jones is for, so you can take breaks. They’re most active between dusk and dawn, right? Then for now, we just slowly make our way to the proximity of an island, Jones can do that.”

He slowly nodded. “Yeah, he’s on his way, just wanted to try his brother one more time.”

You nodded, then signaled for Yoongi to head for the door. “I’m checking back in half an hour and if you’re still here, I’m kicking heads.”

Cob snorted, but didn’t respond further.

Yoongi sighed outside, leaning against the railing. “This is really bad.”

“Really, really bad,” You agreed, leaning next to him. “You okay to keep this from your bandmates?”

He nodded. “I’ll just say that he asked for a representative agreement from our party that he should head for the nearest uninhabited island, as a formality, obviously.”

“Sounds good. And I was there as a translator.”

��What name would you give these creatures?”

“Based on description? The only word I can think of is in English.”

“And?”

“Zombies,” You offered, giving him an apologetic look.

But he nodded. “That’s what we were saying last night. Jungkook said it first, I think we were all afraid of saying it, but he likes watching those kinds of movies, so it wasn’t surprising that he named it first.”

“But watching movies about it isn’t exactly preparation for the real thing,” You whispered, staring out at the ocean. You usually loved going out on trips like this, even if you were just a translator. This time, though….

“Part of me wishes we’d never come on this trip, but part of me is glad that we did.”

“I understand that,” You whispered. “There are a lot of things that I wish. There are a lot of regrets I could have about this.”

“Y/n!”

You closed your eyes. “Speaking of regrets.”

Your ex came over, half-glaring at Yoongi. “This guy bugging you?”

“No, but you are,” You replied, rolling your eyes and pushing away from the railing, walking toward the stairs. “Don’t you have a job to do?”

“I just wanted to make sure you were holding up okay—”

“Well, I am. There’s no need for you to check on me. I’m doing just fine. Please, don’t check on me again. You do your job and I will do mine,” You snapped, turning to glare at him. “I told you, I have no regrets breaking up with you, and even if I knew the future, I would do it again, and probably sooner.”

“Whoa, no need to be so hostile babe!”

“‘Babe’?” You sneered, resisting the urge to shove him over your shoulder and down the flight of stairs. “You never have, and never will be allowed to call me ‘Babe’.”

“Chill out!”

Yoongi pushed past him and grabbed your wrist, pulling you down the stairs after him while rambling in rapid korean about it being dangerous to fight on stairs and ‘that’s how people get murdered’ and ‘unless that was your plan, which I would vouch for you, but I’m not sure who would believe it’ with an added ‘besides, there are a few witnesses’.

Damn was that hot.

No.

Wait.

Yes.

No. No, no. No, no, no.

He was someone you were working for, he wasn’t allowed to be hot.

And his hand definitely didn’t feel strong and sinewy and attractive.

“Don’t walk away when we’re talking!”

Your hold on Yoongi’s hand tightened.

“Ignore him, come with me. Our security team will block him,” Yoongi said, not looking back. “We have a head start, unless he starts running after us. Why did you break up with him? I mean, I get it, but what was the main reason?”

“Cheating, threatening, trying to emotionally manipulate me,” You listed, doing your best not to look back.

“Figures.”

You could see that the heading of the boat was changing, even as you and Yoongi made your way down to where the other boys and their staff were waiting.

“Block the guy following us,” Yoongi called to the security team as both of you passed by them. “He’s letting the panic get to him.”

The security team easily blocked your ex, and Yoongi led you straight to the poolside.

Namjoon came over quickly. “Any news?”

“Nothing new. Just needed a formal agreement to their plan from someone in our party.”

Jungkook dropped onto a seat nearby. “Any new information about the zombies?”

Yoongi shook his head. “Same as before, I think.”

Jungkook tilted his head. “And what is it that we do know?”

“The mutagen makes people into crazed killers, who don’t like bright lights and can only be stopped by cutting off their heads. Strong mutants that can only be stopped by cutting off their heads, and appear to be decaying. I think the mutagen might stimulate muscle growth while suppressing the nervous system. If I’m understanding things correctly, anyway.” You hesitantly sat down, wondering if that would be okay.

“I don’t know exactly what that means,” Jungkook replied, looking a little lost but curious.

“Well, we know that they’re significantly stronger, but their response to injuries is non-existent. Our nervous system is responsible for sending signals to the brain,” You explained, still thinking it through yourself. “Because it isn’t functioning the way it’s supposed to, maybe the pupils aren’t contracting, or something which makes them more sensitive to light.” But that still didn’t explain how they could survive in the water like they did.

“That makes sense,” Yoongi agreed. “I mean, for me, not knowing that much about the human body.”

“Same, but I remember some things, enough to try and puzzle it out, I guess,” You replied, shrugging a bit and looking around. “I should see if there’s anything I can do.”

“Sleep,” Yoongi said. “You should sleep. You look exhausted. I’ll walk you to your cabin so that jerk can’t ambush you.”

“I don’t want you to go out of your way—”

“It’s fine. You’re our designated liaison between the crew and us. It’s important that you’re safe so that we can continue knowing what is going on without pestering the crew.”

That reasoning was fair, and you appreciated it.

But also, you could see it causing issues.

“Come on, I want to make sure you at least go into your room. You should sleep, you look exhausted, and we know that the zombies aren’t going to attack while it’s this sunny out.”

You squeaked slightly as he pulled you up and after him.

But you didn’t fight him on it.

“Which way is your room?”

You quietly gave him directions, following until he reached your door and then tugging lightly on his hand to get his attention before he kept going. “This is it.”

He glanced over the door and nodded. “Right. Okay. Try to sleep, okay? We’re pretty far away from any major population so it should take a while for any zombies in the water to reach us, if they even can. We know they can go some distance, but not how far that distance is. So, rest. We’re going to have to be more alert at night anyway.”

You nodded. “You try to rest too. It’s easier to lie when you’re well-rested.”

He looked a bit grim at that. “Right. Good point. Good thing I’ve always been one to rest when possible.”

You unlocked your door and started in, stopping when he gently caught your upper arm.

“Hey, thank you, again, for everything you’re doing. I know you probably feel guilty because you sold us this package and now we’re all here, but you have no idea how grateful we were to have a ship like this essentially to ourselves.”

You shrugged. “You were booking in the off-season. We were lucky anyone was looking for a ship to commandeer.”

He smiled. “Whatever you say. Sleep well, y/n.”

You watched him walk away for a while, then slowly closed the door, once more pushing down thoughts of how attractive your client was.

———

The first zombie crawled onto the ship during a storm.

You had been eating with all of the guests, looked out the window and did a double-take. “Dobby! Come here.”

Dobby, the head engineer, politely excused himself and came over to join you at the window. “What is it?”

You pointed. “Stern, crawling over the railing.”

He squinted as he tried to see, flinching as lightning flashed—but gasping a bit as he spotted the zombie.

“Everyone is accounted for, right?”

“Right. Okay. Show-time, I guess. Bernie! Clyde! Time to get the lights on and try and decapitate a creature!”

You kept scanning the ship to check for anything else. “Someone tell the captain!”

“Yes, miss,” Clyde called.

Yoongi joined you, looking out. “Guess we know how long it takes for a zombie to swim to us.”

“Yup. Seven days. But it looks weaker than I expected. Maybe it is physically tiring?” You folded your arms, wincing as the floodlights turned on.

It was hideous. It looked like a human, but the skin looked like it had been boiling, and the eyes were strange—the irises almost black, and far too large, to easily noticeable from the distance. It’s jaw seemed unhinged, the mouth hanging open and not moving at all as a guttural screech emanated from it.

“No wonder people are so terrified,” Yoongi whispered.

“I’d like to wake up now,” Hoseok whispered behind you.

“Let’s get to safety, everyone,” You said softly. “Head down into the hallway. Just like we practiced.”

The soft noises of activity soon followed, everyone hearing you in their horrified silence, and moving to act as you had all practiced in the evacuation drills that had started four days ago. There were about eight different contingencies and several ranks of command.

Yoongi’s hand slid around yours, fingers locking around your fingers, and he squeezed your hand slightly. “Assuming it’s contagious. How long do you think we can hold out against the majority of the population of the world being zombified?”

“I think we’re lucky if we last a month like this,” You replied quietly. “We have little fortification, a few sporadic ships that may or may not be able to provide us with help, and no signs of any government being able to assist those who have survived. We’re in a warmer climate, which probably isn’t helping, and we have no idea if this contagion can spread to or through animals.”

“And no way of finding out except through evidence.”

“Essentially,” You whispered, looking around the deck and checking the positions of the crew as they carefully surrounded the zombie to try and dispatch it—the storm not exactly helping matters. “Come on, Dobby.”

You both fell quiet as you watched the crew carefully, and successfully, dispatch the zombie, both breathing sighs of relief.

“The storm should let up soon,” Yoongi murmured.

You nodded, still watching the crew members to make sure they made it to safety.

A few minutes later the all-clear signal sounded over the P.A. system.

Yoongi tugged your hand lightly. “Come on. I need a break from everyone.”

“Then, go, I’ll cover for you.”

“Nah, I want you to come with me. You need a break from everyone’s expectations.” He squeezed your hand, and gently tugged you along.

“But, why do you want me with you?” You asked.

He huffed. “Because I do.”

“Okay,” You replied, still confused.

He led you to his cabin (which was one of the best) and locked the door. “So they don’t come barging in. They do that sometimes.”

You nodded, looking around the cabin casually, even though you knew what they looked like and had cleaned these rooms on more than one occasion.

“We were actually worried at first, because Hoseok gets seasick, but he’s being doing well. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that we’re on a ship.”

“And then a storm hits and you remember all of those movies and true stories about shipwrecks?”

He chuckled lightly. “Yeah. I don’t think I could face them all right now, especially since they’ll be figuring out that zombies can reach us out here. Let them think what they want about us not being around. Our video crew has been filming for posterity, and it’s exhausting. Who’s going to care about how we spent our days on this ship?”

“Well, if we survive, meaning the human race as a whole, I imagine one day they may use it to make a film about you,” You joked, watching the rain pelt the windows.

“You too.”

“Why would they care about an extra translator? No, I’d be cut out and replaced with a super-secret girlfriend love interest, who obviously is terrified and you would save her from the zombies, because the truth and accuracy are inconsequential, and what’s important is the story.”

“Not that you care,” He teased.

“No, never, why would I care. Like I said, I make for a boring story,” You waved it away. “Besides, their movie would probably have a better ending than what reality will give us.”

“Maybe not,” He whispered, also looking outside. “You’re looking at the worse situation, right?”

“Probably.”

“So, best situation is we’re able to survive. We get through this. We set up defenses and we help other people to defend themselves and join us in fighting against these zombies, and…yes, the world will be different, but it will still be here. I mean, there are people in all sorts of remote places in the world, and we hope they’ve been warned, but most of all, they’re there. They may be safe. And maybe some of the defenses of the different countries are still standing. Military bases, forts, bunkers…we have to believe that there is still hope out there. We just…don’t know how to gauge how much hope there is.”

You pulled out your phone, noticing that you still had a signal. Noticing that you had a notification. “We need to get you back to the other boys.”

“What?”

“Come on. We’re going to talk to your staff and get you set up for a live on YouTube.”

“You don’t really think that’s still—”

“I do.”

“Wait,” He pulled you to a stop and turned you toward him. “Explain.”

“You have over 50 million subscribers, and are one of the top boybands in the world. You go live, you might be able to help us figure out how many people are still out there. It might connect you guys back to your family. To the family of the staff. We might be able to get help with making our boat defensible, or we might be able to meet up with a naval vessel that has been unaffected. It’s a long shot, but any sort of chance is a chance we should take, right?”

His eyes widened, and he looked troubled, but he nodded. “Okay. Alright. But you should join us in the video as a proper translator.”

“No, you’ll be fine, we can write out a message for Namjoon to read or something. We can plan things out, what you guys say and all of that. If there are other people out there, members of army, maybe they could use a familiar face.”

He still held you in place. “Okay. Let me change.”

You nodded. “I’ll wait outside.”

He nodded, but didn’t let go. “Hey, y/n?”

“Yes?”

He smiled softly. “If we were destined to get stuck on this cruise ship, I’m glad destiny chose you to be here too.”

Your heart was pounding in your ears, and you felt too warm all over and you spluttered something out and darted out the door as your brain went into a complete meltdown.

“Playboy!” You mind screamed.

“Honeyboy!” Your fangirl screamed.

“BREATHE!” Your lungs shouted as you wheezed and slid down the wall of the hallway.

He came out a few minutes later, and looked at you slightly confused. “Um, why are you sitting on the floor? Did I take that long?”

“Nah, I’m just, you know, meditating,” You refused to meet his eyes because if you did you would start your freakout all over again. Stupid fangirl. It was the zombie apocalypse and all your brain was telling you was that he was glad you were there and he was looking at you and that he kept getting you alone and talking with you and….

And oh no. Oh no no.

Did he like you?

Zombies. Focus on the zombies.

He was holding your hand again.

Apparently, he’d messaged the other boys and they were already gathered and the staff were there setting things up, and you guessed the translator or Namjoon had told some of the crew what they were doing, because they were helping set up. And they were doing V-Live and YouTube at the same time.

You stayed behind the cameras with a small whiteboard to help when they got stuck and to give them further things to say in English to try and help.

You considered them having at least half a million views encouraging, but you could tell that even the BTS staff were disconcerted at the small number.

Eventually the boys were mostly just talking to continue it and reassure anyone that may be watching that for the moment they were safe, and that they hoped that everyone else was safe as well. That they hoped this would pass soon.

They talked about the food, Jungkook and Taehyung belted out a few bars of different songs at intervals, Hoseok did his best to be bright and hopeful, Seokjin and Jimin jokingly flirted with the camera, Namjoon made faces and cracked a joke or two, and Yoongi talked about the future. Yoongi talked about someday looking back on this, just as we look back, and being able to think of it as a historical event that the world conquered.

They had over four million viewers when they ran out of things to say and decided to end it.

“So, again, these videos are going to be posted as soon as possible, and we hope we can meet up with and help those who may be in similar situations, or maybe those who are trapped can get help through this. Even if we just brought a moment of happiness, we will find fulfillment in that. We love you, and hope to see you all again.”

Jungkook and Jimin were crying shortly after the cameras were off.

Hoseok hugged onto them, which prompted Taehyung to hug them as well.

Seokjin tugged the other two into their impromptu group hug.

You set aside the whiteboard and headed outside, the rain finally gone. It was lighter than before, and the sun was trying to peek through again. Not quite successful yet, but every here and there you could spot a beam of sunlight breaking through.

The waves were still pretty intense, but not as bad as they could have been given the storm.

And there were gulls.

Which meant the boat was close enough to a land mass that the birds could fly out.

You hurried up to the bridge, not bothering to ask permission. “How far are we from land?”

“Well, we’ve slowed down and drifted slightly off course, which may be a good thing, since that creature crawled aboard, but,” Cob gestured to the maps he was using. “According to radar and such, we should be able to see the island in about half an hour.”

“But if the zombie came from there, we could be in trouble.”

He grunted.

You sighed, staring out at the turbulent waters. “The island could only be so big, though, which means that if they did come from there, there couldn’t have been too many people there to begin with. Right?”

“Unless it came from one of the ships we were going to be meeting up with.”

“Are we going to die?”

“Not if I have any say in it.”

“Okay. Then we’ll circle around, do our best to fortify and defend the ship, and hope for the best.” You bit your lip. “Right?”

Cob placed an arm around your shoulders. “Take heart, lass. Do something fun, would you? It’s not the end of the world yet, and there’s plenty of daylight to be had. Why don’t you see if that cat-boy wants to go to the bush-whacked deck and splash some paint around. You can take the others there some other time, but he seems to help you lighten up.”

You were a little busy trying not to die from Cob calling Yoongi a cat-boy. “Yoongi. His name is Yoongi.”

“Right. Couldn’t recall. Lots of names to remember. But he reminded me of a cat. Not in a bad way—”

“I’m going to go paint in the bushwhack deck. Don’t expect anything pretty.”

“I don’t,” He laughed happily.

You weren’t sure you wanted to try and find Yoongi, so you resolved to go change into clothes you could paint in first.

“Hey.”

You jumped, squeaked, and lashed out—nearly missing Yoongi.

He looked at you with wide eyes, just sort of blinking while you processed everything that just happened.

“Hi. Sorry. Hi.” You covered your heart to make sure it was still inside of you.

“Where you off to?”

“Um, you know the deck that’s off-limits?”

He nodded, looking a little wary.

“That’s because it’s under renovation. So, the crew goes there to vent and get away from everyone else. So, I’m going to change into clothes that I don’t mind getting paint on, and I’m going to go have fun splashing paint on everything.”

“Ah.”

“Would you like to come with me?”

He glanced over to where the others were still gathered, contemplating it. “Just me.”

“You can tell them to sneak down at a later time.”

He nodded slowly, then more vigorously. “Okay. I’ll meet you down there in ten, and tell them to come down in an hour or something?”

“That works.” You smiled a bit. “See you there.”

He nodded again, leaned in and kissed your cheek, and then walked back toward the others.

Your brain short-circuited as you hurried to your room to change and go down to the deck to pull out the paint and brushes.

Yoongi didn’t say anything as he joined you, simply helped move the paints into the room you wanted to paint in. It was one of the rooms with windows, so it had some natural light. But it also still had a bed in it, so you had to cover that with the plastic tarps.

But Yoongi stopped you. “You rushed up to talk to the captain. What scared you?”

You shrugged slightly. “The seagulls.”

His eyebrows drew together. “Birds scare you?”

“The fact that they can only go so far from land without dying does,” You elaborated. “I just wanted to see if it was a fluke from a storm.”

“And?”

“We’re nearing the island. It will be visible in about an hour at the speed we’re going, which is the slowest speed possible.”

He nodded. “So the zombie may have come from there.”

“Possibly,” You whispered.

He swore, closing his eyes as he pulled you into a hug.

You froze for a moment, then relaxed into the hug, wrapping your arms around him as well.

“You wouldn’t be some insignificant side character, y/n,” He whispered. “You’d be the main character.”

“Yeah right,” You choked out.

He held you tighter. “You would. You definitely would. That would be the only way the movie would have any plot.”

He drew back, resting a hand on your cheek. “I would love to be your romantic interest in the movie too.”

“We’re facing the end of humanity.”

“Which is why it’s important,” He answered easily. “Which is why I want to tell you that I was interested in you from the day we met you on the docks. You’re intelligent, beautiful, and strong. Stronger than me, stronger than most people on this ship. Do you object to me being interested in you? The world has gone to hell, people won’t need a boyband when this is over. They’ll need farmers, builders, engineers, and families.”

“Families,” You repeated quietly.

He nodded, taking your hands. “Families. I can never leave the other boys, they’re my family, especially if my actual relatives….”

“I understand.”

“But…maybe we can live somewhere together. Near each other, but separated.”

“You understand I used to be an Army?” You double-checked.

He grinned, laughing. “Yeah. I knew it when you laughed at one of the jokes. Usually only army’s understand it. I think it’s sort of fitting.”

“I’ve got a concussion and I’m having a weird dream,” You said, closing your eyes because that was the only logical explanation.

Except he kissed you.

And dang was he a good kisser.

“GET AWAY FROM HER!”

You jumped, turning toward your fuming ex-boyfriend. “Oh my God, go away!”

“Take your hands off of my girl!” He bellowed at Yoongi.

YOongi frowned and pulled you closer. “What is he holding?”

You glanced down and realized it was some sort of pill bottle. “Oh my God…tell me those aren’t from—”

“It’s all a hoax, you’re doing this to try and torment me, right? I’ll prove my love for you is stronger than anything.”

“Don’t! Please don’t!” You started toward him, but it was too late.

You watched in horror as he downed several pills.

“There, see! I’m fine! It’s all a hoax so that these terrorists can take over!”

You choked a little. “You need to get those out of your system—now! Even if they don’t turn you, that’s enough to overdose!”

“I told you! I’m fine!” He yelled, but his voice had already started changing.

“We need to get out of here before he changes,” Yoongi whispered. “Windows?”

“Only if you want to go swimming,” You replied. “Grab the chair and throw it at him.”

“Uh….”

“Do it!” You ordered, hurrying to a paint can.

Your ex made an ungodly noise as the chair hit him and you were quick to follow, swinging the full paint can at his head with as much velocity as you could muster.

Yoongi grabbed your hand and both of you started sprinting away. “What do we do? If he goes up, he could run into any number of people?”

“We have to take care of it before he can fully change. We need a way to cut off his head.”

“I don’t suppose he’d hold still while we used a saw?”

“Probably not,” You answered, looking around as the two of you ran. Finally you spotted something useful. “Break in case of emergencies, right?”

Your ex made that ungodly screeching noise again, and his footsteps were unnaturally fast as they beat the ground behind you and Yoongi.

Yoongi hurried ahead and broke open the case with something he must have picked up, grabbing the ax.

You stopped to throw a piece of furniture in the zombie’s path, hoping it would slow him down or trip him up or anything that might give you the advantage.

The two of you darted upstairs after doing your best to block the door.

Then you took the ax. “Sound the alarm.”

He grabbed the handle of the ax. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Leading him away from the crowd. We don’t have time to debate—”

He took it and started running. “Sound the alarm. He’s focused on me.”

You looked after him in horror, then quickly started running toward the nearest place you could trigger an alarm, ducking into a room so that the zombie wouldn’t see you, holding your breath.

Finally, you could hear it going after Yoongi.

You signaled the bridge then hurried after them, looking for anything that would help along the way.

Only to see Yoongi barely holding the zombie off, even in the bright sunlight.

You went barreling into it, all while your mind screamed at you and tried to tell you to stop.

Or maybe that was Yoongi.

But it gave Yoongi the space and time to swing the ax, catching the zombie’s neck and knocking it back.

You grabbed a lifebuoy and pushed it over his head, trapping his arms. “Finish him!”

And Yoongi did, though you both stared in horror at the by-product of your battle.

You met his gaze, swallowing hard. “Is this a dream?”

He reached out and pulled you away from the body. “We need to wash the blood off. Come on.”

You were shaking all over, so it was a miracle you managed to walk without tripping.

Dobby and the others hosed both of you down, making sure the water sprayed straight off the deck, then went to clean things while the Bangtan staff brought both of you towels.

“How did that get onto the ship in broad daylight?” Cob asked, hurrying up.

You looked up at him. “It was Charlie.”

“Charlie let it get on the ship?”

“No,” You answered, confused. “That thing…was Charlie. He had pills. Pills from Biogene.”

“You should have let me throw him overboard,” He muttered, petting your head, and then physically maneuvering Yoongi to check him over. “Good. You look unhurt. Wouldn’t want to cut your head off too.”

Yoongi was just a little stunned.

“Get them out of this wind!” Lori huffed, glaring at everyone and then ushering the two of you inside and out of the wind. “You need to get into dry clothing, come on. You, you’re one of his brothers?”

The boys all froze.

She gently shoved Yoongi toward them. “Make sure he gets changed and tuck him in. Marta! Get soup to both rooms.”

You didn’t object to her manhandling, just accepting it because Lori could take you if she put her mind to it, and she was right there ready to take you.

She bundled you in blankets after helping you change into dry clothing, scolded Marta for taking so long bringing the soup, and she force-fed you the soup.

When she had done that, you knew it was time to push a bit.

“I need to go talk to him,” You whispered, ignoring the trembling of your hands and the comforting call of your bed.

Lori looked you in the eye, evaluating you, then nodded. “Let me fix your hair.”

You nodded and let her work, not even checking her work before you and your blanket wrap were heading to Yoongi’s room.

His door was open, and the others were there, but he saw you, and he pushed himself up.

The others glanced over to see what had caught his attention, then seemed to all find an excuse to leave the two of you alone.

You wandered over to the bed as the boys left.

Yoongi looked up at you, eyes sad. “Are you okay?”

You shrugged, slowly sitting on the edge of the bed. “I now know that my instincts to survive are strong enough to kill someone that I know once they’ve turned. So…I’m dealing with that.”

He shuddered and reached out, pulling you down into his arms. “We did what was necessary for the survival of everyone else on this ship.”

“How many friends are we going to lose because of all of this?”

He shook his head. “Let’s not go there.”

You turned your head into his shoulder, fighting back the tears. You had to separate moments out by mere seconds: him kissing you, a moment, and then your ex turning into a zombie. There was a moment in there, that you wished you could imagine was longer.

His fingers stroked your hair lightly, then rested on your back. “But you know…I think we’re going to be just fine. We definitely need more weapons, but I think we’ll make it.”

“You know something I don’t?”

He nodded. “While we were downstairs, a naval vessel contacted the captain. They’re about a day away from us.”

“They know the zombies can swim?”

“They do. And they’ve checked all quarters and removed all Biogene products. They had a small issue at the beginning, but they’ve got it under control now. They’re going to meet with us, and we’re going to work together. They had some civilians that they rescued, and not enough beds, so we’ll take some of their civilians, and perhaps some of their soldiers.”

“And the government?”

“It’s…sort of functioning. Multiple ones are functioning on a…mild capacity. Enough to try and organize their military to reclaim lands.”

“So, where are we being escorted?”

“I don’t know. That’s about all the information that was received, I guess. I’m sure we’ll find out more when we meet up. But…it’s good, right? That we’re able to meet up with a naval vessel?”

You nodded. “As long as we don’t get overrun by zombies tonight.”

“What a bright side,” He chuckled, lightly stroking your back. “Y/n.”

You relaxed at the gentle tone in which he said your name.

“Whatever happens, let’s make it through this together? I don’t have too many skills that are usable outside of music, but I’ll do whatever it takes to take care of you?”

You peeked up at him. “Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’m sure. I might be relying on you, though.”

You wrapped your arms around him. “That’s fine. I can handle that. If you’re okay with me falling apart now and than.”

“I’ll try and hold you together,” He replied, squeezing you. “We’ve got a couple hours of daylight. Want to nap?”

You pushed yourself fully onto the bed and let him help you under the covers. “Yeah, okay. I could sleep.”

He smiled, taking your hand as you both lay on your sides, facing one another. “Sweet dreams, y/n.”

“Sweet dreams,” You whispered back, still studying him with your eyes half-closed.

If you could make it to safety, then spending your life with him would be great. Better than great.

“Don’t let the zombies bite,” He murmured, smiling slightly at the teasing, and the way you swatted him.

Then you let the subtle sway of the ship rock you into sleep next to the man you just might love.

[noroi1000]

May I request for a match up with jjk men

I go by wolf I'm a female , straight,4'9, my body type is a hourglass figure. I have brown eyes and brown hair that is super curly and wavy thanks to my native Indian & Spanish hertiage it tends to turn a little red in the summer when I'm in the sun I have freckles. That are sometimes an insecurity. I  have adhd and suffer from anxiety and depression. I am also legal deaf. I have been in out of doctors my all life  due to me being born prematurely with very little chance of survival. So I have had surgeries so I have scars I have one that is from when I was born  it's on my stomach  my medical conditions and issues  have never been anything I  have felt ashamed of.  (Which all of these things caused me to be bullied and left out in activites  I remember  crying thinking it isn't fair it's not fair I just want to play and have a friend). Moving on 

Personality type: "The Advocate" INFJ-T

My hobbies include playing with my 3 rescues dogs, cooking,baking, trying new restaurants, reading, writing, sleeping, shopping,and crafting

I like watching shows such as anime, criminal minds, NCIS, law & order special victims unit, any criminal documentary, friends.learning about my heritage.

I dislike bullies Lairs vegetables politics narrcisst,People who abused the young and elderly,School, fake people,drama,

I can be a lot to handle at times especially with my anxiety and depression.  And I get frustrated very easily. I'm not the best at communicating and often keep things to myself. I hate asking for help. I refuse to cry in front of others unless  I feel comfortable enough around you. I tend to overthink the tiniest things. I push myself  to my limit  often times passed my limit. I read people pretty well, always willing  to give a helping hand even if I  myself  am having a hard time but will not dare ask for help.  I'm a lone wolf. A lot of folks say I'm hard to approach because  of my resting bitch face lol it's just my face. I'm honest and that's why many people don't want me around  I hate drama.  From a young age I have always  been able to read between the lines and find a deeper meaning, think outside the box,  immediately sensing someone's emotions especially  snice I'm an empath. I've been told it's a gift it is in a way but some days it feels like cruse. I  enjoy learning about  different cultures, myths, legends. Along with enjoying the simpler  things in life.

Random facts

My aesthetic (s) : Dark Academia. Country.

Favorite Animal: Wolf

Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

Favorite Food: Depends on what I'm in the mood for

Favorite Quote : To many to list

Favorite Time Of Day: Night

Music I listen to:

Genres: Folk,Country,Rap, Pop, Rock & Roll

I think your Jujutsu kaisen matchup is

Yuta Okkotsu

Yuta is a person who… He wasn't liked very much by people. Actually, he wasn't liked at all. People had rejected him themselves, regardless of his feelings.

He never wanted to be spurned, and he wanted friends. However, he could not have had them for a long time. Even if he wanted to have someone to talk to and also meet, he couldn't. He was harassed. Like everyone at school, he had people who bullied him. There are mean people everywhere who hate the weaker and laugh at them. He hated people like that, and he still hates them. Therefore, he was afraid of the world, and actually did not want to go anywhere. He had a really bad life.

While his world changed a little, he too changed.

He was not afraid to live and also smiled when he made friends.

However, he had some behavior left.

He got nervous quickly, and especially when someone was hurting his relatives, he was still hesitant to people and did not talk to strangers often, and when he tried, then he suddenly stopped, not knowing if he could continue talking. When something bothers him, he hides it even under a smile. He will not pass on bad things to someone else.

He tries to help everyone he can, but he will not ask for help in his problems. He will not burden someone with his own affairs, but in the meantime he burdens himself, and prefers to take care of it himself. But his every friend, or just a person he knows, can ask for help and he will definitely get it. He is just a nice person who cannot refuse to help. He liked it already. He also enjoys seeing a smile and listening to someone thanking him. Then he felt needed, as if he was really important to them.

important And he can also finally say that he has friends. And even someone closer than a friend.

He would never show his weaknesses. He will really cry for various reasons or because he is struggling, but when someone calls him to come, no matter what, he does everything quickly not to look like he is crying and sad and comes out with renewed energy. In everyone, he only cries in situations where he cannot stop it. Then he would hide his tears anyway.

He, too, would like to be comforted. When he comforts someone, he does it in such a way as to cheer him up as quickly as possible. When he cries, he just wants to hide. Whether alone or in the arms of a very trusted person. Just to think about it all.

He tries to express his feelings honestly, but doesn't want to be mean to anyone.

He is always feeling someone else's emotions. He thinks about it, and may even figure out what happened to make someone sad. He analyzes the time that the person spends to find out everything. Then he will try to change the mood to comfort as only that person could want.

Headcanon:

• He is an honest person who also hates false people. He often feels obligated to put you in a good mood. He would never put himself above you, and he will take care of everything.

• You don't have to tell him you want help. He knows when to help you. But when you don't want it at all, you can tell him directly that you don't need his help. Then he can only smile sadly and say that he would like to help you. Not everyone may want this from him, but he would like to give you a break. After all, he can do what you want to do for you. But he doesn't want to talk you into something you don't want.

• He will help you learn more about whatever you want.

• I think your time to spend it together would be something like movie nights. He'll watch every genre, but don't make it watch horror movies. Anything but that.

He could lie in bed with you and gently hug you or roll his fingers over your skin. Watch the movie with a smile and think only about what is happening in your surroundings at the moment.

• He doesn't see any problem with your style, but sometimes he gets scared by too much darkness.

• Since you both like dogs / wolves, and also know Megumi, what's wrong with going out for walks with his dogs? It is quite a nice activity and also quiet. Plus, these creatures are so cute.

• You can define his smile as the sun, but the moon itself is, in every sense.

• It is normal to think about sleeping and all the activities you can do together. He loves you by your side, so why can't he stop what you like to do with him? He himself will be happy to try to cook something. Even if he can burn it by accident. He would like you to be his good teacher.

• What he wants most is your depression. This is definitely not nice. He knows this feeling, and will try his best to add more and more happiness and love to your life.

You gave it to him, so he will give it to you.

The names he calls you: "My life" , "My happiness"

• He doesn't care as long as he's with you. No rules. Just to make you happy.

"(y/n)-chan, how are you? You're fine, right? Please be okay. Always. At any moment. I want you to smile at me. You are My happiness. My life. Be happy always, okay?"

[dreaming-of-assclass]

Group 4 Adult hc’s please 😭 they’re all precious! Thank you for loving Group 4

YES OMG! I love this! And you’re so right 😭 They are so precious and I adore them 💜

WAIT. I wasn’t sure if you meant individual hc’s or ones of them all together 😭 If I messed this up, lmk and I’ll do new hc’s!!

Karma Akabane

He’s a distinguished bureaucrat by day, a compete fucking disaster by night

No who am I kidding

He brings chaos no matter what time

Lives to drive his co-workers insane, even if he gets along with them. It’s just a habit of him being around anyone lmao

His apartment is really expensive and nice...except it’s also a fucking mess.

See when he was a kid and lived alone, there was still a maid around. He didn’t live like a slob.

But as an adult with no supervision whatsoever....well, he kinda lets loose. A lot.

Drops his $500 suits right onto his floor, has piles of clothing around, his official government papers are laying everywhere, like Karma, isn’t that illegal??? Lmao

Invites his co-workers out for drinks, or he happily goes along if someone else invites him. Actually makes more of an effort to be social as an adult, surprisingly.

Irritates Terasaka whenever he gets to see him...which is fairly often hehe

Also likes to barge into Group 4’s lives...literally. Like he’ll randomly show up to Nagisa’s classroom, sneak onto Kayano’s film set, invite himself into the nursing home Kanzaki is at and befriend elderly people, etc.

No matter what though, you can’t change Karma lmao. He will go to ridiculous and edgy methods in his job, even snoop on government officials outside of work

You DO NOT want him as an enemy. If any politician crosses him, Terasaka tears up on their behalf. “Just try to survive, man.” “Uh, what?” “You’ll see.”

Competent adult rating: 5/10

Manami Okuda

It’s not surprising of course, but she’s totally dedicated to her work and research. Her loved ones have to remind her to take breaks often.

Her apartment is generally tidy because she’s barely there.

Her work desk space on the other hand...is hella messy lol. She tends to throw papers around in the middle of stuff, and there are a few old food containers or takeout boxes from late night work.

She likes to tie her hair up in a braided bun often, to keep it out of the way. That’s mandatory for lab work anyways.

Dresses in a lot of casual but comfy attire, like blouses, jeans, skirts and boots, etc.

Gets along well with her colleagues, but she still has that habit of being a little reserved. Like she won’t jump right into hanging out with them, only if she’s invited to.

Her communication skills have improved so much omg, let’s all be proud of her <3

She has a pet chameleon!! It’s name is Rutherford, after the chemist lol

Tomohito Sugino

He actually lives by the strictest guidelines out of all of them

Since he’s a professional athlete, he really has to take care of his body and maintain his physique.

So like...a diet focusing on proteins, vitamins, nutrients, lean meats, vegetables, etc. All that good stuff.

And he works out twice a day. Once in the morning, he goes out for a jog as cardio. Then in the evening, he’ll do a more strength-based workout for his core and biceps.

As usual, he is very social and makes friends super easily UwU. When he’s not focusing on work (this is rare) he likes to make plans with people often.

Can’t handle being alone for too long

Gets confused/annoyed by finance matters a lot lmao. Hates filing taxes and doing paperwork, treats it like a chore rather a necessity for adulting

He has a really popular Instagram page actually, given that he’s a well-known baseball player. He posts mostly selfies, pics with friends, workout mirror selfie’s lmao, and of course pics of his dog

She’s a golden Labrador named Kimi, and he adores her so much. She’s a puppy still but she’s very active and loving.

He becomes a really popular meme for his very tired facial expression during a particularly rough game. Sugino takes great pride in this lmao

Credit to @assclass-dump for this amazing idea: Sugino being like Tony Hawke, and literally no one recognizes him outside of his baseball uniform lmaooooo. I love that.

Kaede Kayano

She has her shit together...for the most part

Kayano’s fame as an actress only grows more and more as she gets older. She has a ton of awesome big roles, even internationally.

This is canon: she does her own stunts and she always amazes the entire crew, especially if her co-star is new to meeting her and had no idea.

Kayano tends to not always take care of herself that well though. She exercises and maintains a strong physique daily, but her meals tend to consist of like...a flimsy salad and a pudding cup and that’s it.

Her apartment is pretty taken care of for the most part, especially when she’s filming and only comes back for sleep.

On her off-months though, best believe this girl tries to chill at home for as much as she can lol. She needs that well-deserved rest.

Kayano visits Aguri’s grave once every month. She brings her favorite flowers and gives kind of a life update on everything. She cries every time.

During her lowest moments, she’ll open up the yearbook that Korosensei left for her. She’ll read all his encouraging notes, laugh at the goofy memories they made...

She stays in contact with Kanzaki and Sugino the most. It’s harder with Karma and Okuda who have very demanding jobs too...and Nagisa who is hyper-focused on teaching

Gets involved in a couple dating scandals and such because the media is bored and nosy. But she shuts that shit down so fast and ruthlessly.

Yukiko Kanzaki

Adulting definitely comes the easiest for her, out of all of them

At the residence care facility she works at, she’s known for being the chillest and prettiest nurse

Bonds with most of her patients very easily. She especially has a sweet spot for elderly women, since they remind her of her beloved grandmother

She also had learned to be more open and comfortable with expressing herself. Unlike her junior high self, she isn’t envied or disliked or treated as an idol.

She actively communicates with her co-workers and has become better at making connections.

In true Kanzaki fashion, she absolutely will speak out if an injustice happens near her, and this sadly can be common in elderly care homes.

She doesn’t tolerate mistreatment at all. She voices her concerns and objections in her usual classy way, but if nothing changes, she’ll be persistent and more aggressive.

Kanzaki lives in a fairly modest apartment not too far from work. She walks every morning to get fresh air and enjoy being outside. She also stops by a cafe for breakfast and brings something for a co-worker she’s especially close to.

Even though her family could afford to get something way nicer and more expensive, Kanzaki insisted they don’t. She wants to work hard and achieve things through effort.

Besides she’s always been curious about a more humble lifestyle. She finds that she actually enjoys it immensely.

Nagisa Shiota

Hey hey hey, it’s our favorite new teacher <3

Seriously Nagisa is super dedicated to his job. He spends a good portion of his free time making more plans and ideas for future lessons.

He’s also just...such a spectacular teacher.

No matter how difficult his students may be, he never treats them like they’re problems. He always gives them a lot of kindness and respect, which sadly they don’t get a lot from others.

Disciplines in a really good way, like he’ll correct them but won’t sound condescending. He doesn’t sugarcoat, he’ll be honest but absolutely will give new chances.

Also can be totally fun and goofy if the time calls for it. Doesn’t want his students to ever fear him or feel like he’s unapproachable.

Makes learning to be fun and creative, also connects with each student one-on-one for sure.

He lives in a super tiny apartment. That teacher salary bro 😔

Takes a train everyday for a short commute to get to work.

His apartment also is prone to being littered around with a bunch of teaching stuff until he gets to organizing it.

Is generally very liked by his colleagues! Some of them don’t really agree with his teaching style and think he’s too lenient, Nagisa doesn’t pay them mind.

Can cook really well but is prone to buying convenience store meals often, because of his schedule.

Keeps a photo of 3-E on his nightstand.

[alreadyblondenow]

Because, I love you

Jaehyun x reader // FLUFF, SMUT, angst? rich kids! au Summary: You’re back and you’re completely a different person. From being rich and spoiled, now you see yourself as someone cheap. Even so, Jaehyun chase you as he tries to win you back even though you’ve been pushing him away over and over again.  Word Count: 4k Warnings: Mentions of poverty, ‘poor’, swearing, unprotected sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of bullying, inferiority complex Note:  -inspired by my current situation. So I hope no one steals this. haha -I’m not mocking the poor -see end for few notes. 

After two years, you’re finally back in town and the word spreads fast. The moment you step down from the train until you arrive at your best friend Aisha’s birthday party you feel every pair of eyes look at you. Everyone is completely shocked and dying to talk to you but they can’t. Because in their eyes, you’re still rich daddy’s favorite daughter. In their eyes, you’re still the same girl who left before you could even graduate high school.

You left without saying anything to your neighbours, friends or even your boyfriend, Jaehyun. The only one who knew about your situation is Aisha, and she swore she will never reveal the true reason why you left.

As you walk to the party, Aisha gave you a big hug giving you a glass of your favorite alcoholic beverage. “You’re back for good, right?” she asked trying to fight the loud music. “Yes! I’ll start school on Monday” you answer as one of her visitor took her away from you.

Everyone looks familiar but you don’t dare talk them. Not because you think they’re losers, but you feel small in this party. It feels like you don’t belong here. You made your way to the familiar pool side where you and Aisha used to hang out. There you enjoy the silence and the sound of the bubbles from the pool.

“You left, me without saying goodbye and now that you’re back I don’t get a simple ‘hi’”

Jaehyun sat beside you with all his bravery with a drink on his hand. Still handsome as the last day you spend with him. Out of all the people you left in this town, you feel sorry for Jaehyun. He didn’t deserve to be left alone just like that. You’ve been together for four amazing years and you were crazy in love with each other. For sure he got hurt when you left, and maybe he got mad? To be honest you want him to get mad to you, that way it’s easier to fully let go.

“Hi. I’m sorry about that” you try to ignore him and leave but he grabs your arm. “You left me without a word. Aren’t we going to talk about it?”

“No. Stay away from me, people might get the wrong idea” you said, stern and hard.

He brushed his hair using his fingers and pressed his lower and upper lip together. “Fuck until now you make me so frustrated” he scoffed, “Let’s get back together” he blurted out without even thinking.

“What makes you think I want you now?” Jaehyun is really impossible to reason with, he has this ‘I want it, I got it’ attitude that you hate but you’re not letting him win this time.

“Nothing. But I’m certain I still love you. And trying to win you back would be worth it”

“I’m not the same person, Jaehyun” you try to walk away but he accidentally pushed you straight to the pool. Next thing you know you’re both soaked and he offered you a ride home because clearly it’s his fault and you can’t ride the bus with wet clothes.

He was about to drive you to your house. Your old house, the biggest house for the richest family in town. “I don’t live there anymore. I live in a small apartment now” it’s embarrassing but you didn’t have a choice but to tell him the truth.

The drive was quiet, just the way you like it. “Sorry about your car seat, It’s drenched” he gave you his jacket before you get out of the car. “It’s okay, we’ve done a lot of other filthy things here” you rolled your eyes and left him.

He was happy you’re back. He never let himself forget everything about you and now that you’re back he will try to bring back what was taken away from the two of you. That’s how much he loves you.

Now that you live alone, adaptation is important. This town knew you as the rich and spoiled daughter who knows nothing but to shop and go to the coolest parties. Little did they know those two years definitely changed you as a person. Who knew even poverty would look good in you. Kidding aside, now you know how to wash and iron your own clothes, wash dishes, clean the house, cook your own meal. Everything that involves surviving alone.

Today is your first day in college and you’re looking forward to it mainly because of one reason. It’s the start to build a new life. But you saw Jaehyun waiting for you outside your apartment and your day is ruined already.

“Were not doing this Jae” you said as you show him how completely annoyed you were.

“Come on, I’ll take you to school” he offered with a big smile, showing off his dimples.

“We don’t go to the same college, idiot”

“I know, I just want to spend time with you. Please get in the car or I’ll scream how much I love you” you can’t believe he threatened you and you can’t believe you got in his car. You told him what happened last night is a mistake, and you were never planning to be friends with him just because you’re back. But of course he just shrugged it off and gave you a grande coffee from Starbucks.

It’s sweet how Jaehyun still remembers old habits, but it’s not you anymore. As he drive you to your school, you can’t stop being embarrassed again because it’s a public university but of course you don’t tell him that. “Thanks for dropping me off, uhm please stop this. Whatever you’re planning it’s-“ he cut you off, “I’ll pick you up at 5” he said with a mocking smile that makes your blood boil.

First day is first day. Classes from 7am to 5pm, new friends, a list of expensive books to buy, a quick tour around the university, and annoying Jaehyun waiting for you. “You’re unbelievable Jaehyun” you said a little angrier than ever, “Ugh- I need to go to the public library. Go home!” you don’t know what’s gotten into his head but he continues to pry. “I’ll study with you” he said as he runs off behind you, following you until you’re both sited at the library.

Focused and busy, you can’t believe he’s actually studying with you. You found of that he pursued engineering, and he’s already in his Junior year and actually doing really good. Deep down you’re proud of him.

As you continue studying in advance for a few subjects, you can’t figure out Math and it’s giving you a headache already. Jaehyun noticed that you’re kind of stuck to what you’re solving. So he offered help, he left a note in front of you that say’s, ‘I can help you with that’ You mouthed the word, ‘how’ and he made his own way to teach how to solve the problem, which actually really helped you.

‘Thank you’ you forced a smile. He winked back. Fucking Jung Jaehyun.

After studying, he drove you home and the ride was still quiet like the last time. He was incredibly a big help today, and you wanted to be nice just so you can return the favor. “I don’t have a choice but to be nice to you today. Do you want to eat something before you leave?”

He let out a small laugh, something that made you think he’s thinking about something dirty. And it’s clear as the night sky that he was thinking about eating you. “Forget I asked, you may leave and never come back again” you got out of his car and he quickly did the same thing, apologising over and over again as he follow you to your apartment.

The moment you invite him in, he was surprised to see your place to be so small. There’s no other room other than the bathroom, the kitchen is small, and there’s no furnitures. He knew better than to judge and ask about what happened to you. Instead, he made himself comfortable while you prepare the ramen in your kitchen. He’s not used to seeing you like this but he thinks you’re still amazing. You used to buy him expensive food when you were still rich and spoiled, but now you make cheap ramen for him.

You caught him smile as you place two bowls on the table, “Why are you smiling?” you brought him back to reality and shake his head, “oh nothing. I was just thinking about taking you for a long shopping tomorrow after school” that’s not you anymore, you down a glass of water and took a deep breath.

“The truth is Jaehyun, I’m broke. I left two years ago because my dad’s business crashed and burned. The bank took everything from us, the house, the cars, mom’s jewelries, everything. We needed to start a new life somewhere no one knows us because my parents can’t handle the humiliation and embarrassment. I have to take care of them both because they don’t know shit” and your story went on and on as he listens attentively on how you needed to be responsible for your parents, you told him how you learned doing house chores and being independent which made him fall in love with you even more.

“I know why you’re here Jaehyun. I don’t need your help-“

“I’m here for the reason, because I love you. Now eat your ramen before it gets cold” surprisingly he reached for your forehead and kissed it.

You won’t admit but the following days were bearable because of Jaehyun. He let’s you be your independent self as he takes care of you in his own ways. Spending time with you at the library made him study even harder and ace all of his big exams. When you were in high school studying with Jaehyun would end up having sex with him but now, studying is studying and he loved how he sees you accomplish all your school works just in time before the library closes.

The changes in his life with you in it is visible, and he loves it. Secretly he learned how to clean the dishes at home so he can offer to clean the dishes the next time you invite him in and eat ramen. Jaehyun loves spending time with you whenever and however but his favorite thing to do with you is going to the market. Picking fresh fruits and vegetables, buying fish and meat. It’s all fascinating for him which amuses you.

“Hey, I’m just wondering if you could go to this party I’m throwing this Saturday”

Going to the party means seeing a lot of people you already forgot about, of course you don’t want to. But you didn’t want to disappoint Jaehyun, “I can drop by” is the only answer you can think of. “That’s fine with me, as long as I get to see you that night” he said as he continues to drive.

That night you wished you didn’t say yes to Jaehyun. You don’t know how the rumors spread but everyone knew about the reason why you left. You can hear people making fun of you, telling you it’s probably karma because you were such a bitch back in the day. All you can do is cry at the bathroom and pray that Jaehyun won’t see you like this.

“Hey, I’ve been looking all over for you” Jaehyun found you as soon as you got out from the bathroom, faking a smile as someone bumped you on purpose and spill their drink on your shirt.

“Hey asshole you did that on purpose!” he shouts, clearly Jaehyun was not having a great time from his own party. “Everybody get out! All you do is gossip tonight you fucking ungrateful people, out!” seeing Jaehyun like this scared you, he never gets mad in front of you. When the house is already clear, he apologised to you for giving you a hard time tonight.

“I didn’t know they’ll gossip like hell tonight-“

“It’s not your fault Jae, it’s my dad’s fault” you sigh and sat on his couch, “Maybe they’re right, it’s karma. You know how I used to bully the students at school whenever I see someone bring packed lunch. I was a bitch, Jae”

He told you that y/n was long gone, “You’re like a completely different person now” he pulled you close to him as he tell you stories about him trying to wash his own clothes yesterday. The thought of it made you laugh like crazy, your voice echoes around his big house. He comforted you and made you laugh the whole evening, and you remember why you fell in love with Jaehyun in the first place.

On his birthday, it was a weekend and you had the whole day to celebrate. Nothing too fancy for this year, all he wanted to do is be with you. Spend the day like how a normal couple would spend Valentines day. Even though it’s clear to him that you’re not yet back together.

“I don’t have enough money saved up to buy you something you would actually like, so you can ask me to do anything today. I’m the gift” you present yourself playfully to him which made him laugh like loud, his ears are turning red.

“You know you’re the one that I want, be with me again” of course he’ll say that, and he’s serious.

“Don’t ruin your day you know my answer. Ask about something else” you said with a frown.

“Okay sorry you’re right. But I’m not changing what I said. Be with me today, pretend that we’re together again”

He held out his hand, waiting for you to grab it like how you used to do back when you were still together. Granting his wish you intertwine your fingers with his and you swear you felt something in your stomach. Butterflies, excitement, happiness.  

The day went on beautifully which was nothing as you expected. You held hands around the park, swinging it like little kids while giggling and talking about anything that comes out from your mouths. Kissing your hand whenever he feels like doing it, and you can’t complain about it because it’s part of the deal. “What? Be thankful it’s not your lips” he winked and kissed your hand again.

While watching movies, his arms are wrapped around you as you shiver because of the cold movie house. Kissing your forehead whenever it’s near his lips. And to end the celebration properly and avoid the crowded dine-in restaurants, you ate takeout in his car while you watch the city lights. He was holding your hand right after you both eat your meals and continue telling stories and laughing the whole time.

You wanted to admit to yourself that you fell in love with Jaehyun for the second time in your life. But given your life situation, you still have nothing to offer to him.

“Why did you leave without saying goodbye?” he asked as if he just heard your thoughts. While waiting for your answer, his eyes were looking straight to you, head resting on his seat, hands still intertwined.

“We have big dreams that time. I mean studying in New York. Together? I can’t have those dreams with you while I’m… poor”

“What about now? Still not convinced we can be together even if you’re ‘poor’” he kissed your hand again, “I don’t know if I can let go when the clock strikes 12” the atmosphere suddenly became serious.

“Then don’t”

He’s sure as hell shocked by what you said. He lean forward and you did the same thing, and he kissed you. Sweet and slowly at first but no one is stopping so the both of you got carried away. The kiss became wet and hungrier, you noticed he was pulling you to sit on his lap but you didn’t want to. So you stopped the kiss and catch your breath. Letting go of his hand and put it on your forehead as you massage it, pretending you had a headache.

“Did you just kissed me because you feel sorry for me? Or is it because you feel same way?” He asked politely.

“I never stopped loving you, Jaehyun” you keep your hand relaxed on your lap. “I’m sorry if I ruined your day last minute-“

“What? No you didn’t” he reached for your face so you could look him in the eye, “I only have five minutes left. Kiss me again? Please?”

And you did. This time it was wet, but not because of spit but because of your tears. You continue kissing him until 12:01, hands wrapped around his head as you ruffle his soft hair. “I don’t want to rush you or force you. And I know were still not together again even though we shared that kiss. But at least now I have hope. Take all the time that you want. Just don’t leave me again. Or else I’ll find you this time.” He kissed your hand too many times before kissing your whole face, peck after peck.  

Finally letting Jaehyun in your life again without boundaries, the following days were sweeter. He still studies with you at the library without distracting you but this time you two make out like crazy in his car at the library’s parking lot before he takes you home.

He still have dinner with you whenever you invite him in but this time he can finally hug you from behind and watch you cook from your shoulder. You even taught him how to cook and turns out he’s a fast learner. “Not bad Jung Jaehyun “

And because you taught him how to cook, he cooked for you in his big kitchen at home. You helped a bit but he did most of the work. “This is delicious” you praised his Spaghetti aglio e olio, ate almost half of the pan which made him happy because you loved his cooking. After dinner, you both clean up the kitchen washing everything on the sink, cleaning the table and finally snuggled up on his big couch with a glass of red wine.

“I think I deserve a good kiss” he said as he pretends to be tired. The next thing you know you’re making out on their couch before he drives you home. Which was sweet, he reach in for a kiss whenever the stop light goes red and continues to drive when it turns green.

“I didn’t want to feed your pride but, I hate going home after spending a great time with you” his smile was from ear to ear but you see tears and you started to panic.

“Did I say something wrong?” he shook his head and cupped your face with both hands and kissed you sincerely.

“I love you so fucking much” he barely said it clearly because of his sobbing, his tears are falling down on his face.

“I don’t get it Jaehyun why are you crying?”

“Hearing that makes me so fucking happy. It means you wont push me away ever again.”

you suddenly remember the time you push him away. You hugged him and saw the time, 3am. “I think you should stay. I cant let you drive at such a late hour. Come on I’ll make you coffee” you kiss him on the lips one last time, “stop crying.” You finished the day with bodies tangled on your cheap floor mattress as you talked and talked until you both fall asleep.

Time passed by so fast, you can’t believe it’s been two years already since you went back. Your relationship with Jaehyun has been the same, peaceful, happy and simple. Jaehyun is in his senior year and he became busier than ever. Guess what? Being a graduating student didn’t stopped him from seeing you. He sleeps more in your small apartment than his big house, “I can sleep better when you’re beside me” he said as he falls asleep beside you while you still study for a big test.

With no labels or whatsoever, Jaehyun couldn’t care less about it. As long as he could be with you and kiss you, you’re his girl. Labels or not.

“I have a big question to ask” he said while he’s driving. “I need to bring you as my date on this family gathering this weekend. I know you hate parties-“

“Yes. I’ll go with you” you said with a sly smile. Deep down you’re hesitating of course. Jaehyun’s family became the richest family after your father’s business crashed. Truth be told, you forgot how to be elegant. Now you’re just cheap.

As the most awaited weekend took place, you’re thankful Jaehyun bought you a nice dress fit for the party. Parties like this is full of business matters, yes it’s a party but everything they talk about in the four corners of this room is plain business. You know because your family used to throw tons of parties like this back in the day.

Hearing the continuous playing of piano made you remember how Jaehyun played nonstop at the piano you used to own… how you missed everything. Suddenly you don’t feel well. You wanted to get out of this place.

You tap Jaehyun’s shoulder as you excuse him from a visitor, “I think I should go home. I’ll take a cab, don’t worry about me” you kissed him on the cheek.

“Y/n your’e scaring me whats wrong?” he whispers, completely worried. You told him the problem and he told you he’s sorry, “It’s my fault. I’ll take you home”

A week passed and you told Jaehyun you need to bury yourself on thick books and you need to study for three big tests. Which does not exist. You just want to get away from him. But the space made you realise your new found love for Jaehyun. It’s not that you depend your happiness to Jaehyun, he just makes you look forward to living a simple life. Imagine having a delicious wine and perfect cheese on the side. Jaehyun is the cheese that made everything even more better.  

After having a 7-5 class, you found Jaehyun waiting for you at the school’s parking lot. Gloomy and not his normal cheery self.

“Are we back to square one?” he blurted out before you can even greet him. “Because I don’t mind doing it again” he said a little too aggressive.

You panic, you thought he’s mad “no no were not. Im sorry. The dinner was too much. I just needed to forget it. Im sorry, I missed you” he hugged you tight back.

“I thought I lost you again” you shook your head. “Take me somewhere today I’m on school break for two weeks”

And just like that, you two were back to being your cheery self again. He took you to his house, cooked dinner for you and enjoyed his home theater with you. You watched a tear jerker romantic movie and he was whispering ‘i love yous’ whenever the lead actor do something sweet in the movie. You do the same but not as bold as he is. You never actually said those three words to him properly, but you do love him unconditionally.

“Your room is still the same.” You’re fresh from the shower wearing a black shirt from Jaehyun with just your panties. Roaming around his room as you dry your hair using a towel. You saw a picture of you that he took, just beside his LP player and vinyl collections. His room is always this cozy, you remember doing your homework here when you were in high school and having sex whenever you want, because no one dares to disturb you two in his room.

And speaking of sex, you suddenly remember the last time you had sex with Jaehyun. That was a week before you leave. It happened in this room, he didn’t know but you were completely heartbroken that time.

“Hey stop snooping around and come to bed with me” he said as he pat his bed, telling you to lay beside him. You jumped right in and went on top of him. “What if I never went back?” he hugged you and switched positions, now you’re beneath him. “But you’re here.” you feel his lips on your exposed neck, “in my bed” you kissed him on the mouth as you both sit up and remove your shirts. He skilfully unclasps your bra and threw it somewhere, pulling down your panties and throwing it to the floor.

As he was busy getting you naked, you take your time admiring his perfect body. Pushing him down on the mattress and getting on top of him again “Remember when I do this?” you tease as you kiss him on his abs, “and this” down to his lower abdomen, removing his boxer briefs slowly as you keep on kissing him all the way to his hard cock. You threw away his boxer briefs just like he did with your underwear.

Brushing his soft hair as you kiss him softly, Jaehyun is slowly making his way in between your legs. “Be gentle okay?” you whisper before he plays with your folds, gently playing with your cunt while looking at you. Slightly rolling your hips, Jaehyun’s fingers feels nice inside. All you can do is moan and grab his shoulders.

Wet enough for his cock, he slowly lined his cock on you cunt. Pushing in slowly, feeling your tight walls that he missed so much. “I love you Jung Jaehyun” you whisper before he move. Happy that you finally said it clearly. He thrust in slowly just how you like it, kissing your mouth as you moan on every thrust he gives. Gasping whenever he gives you a sharp one.  

“Don’t leave me again” he whispers as he continue you to fuck you on a steady pace.  

“I wont” you whimper and reach for him to keep him close to you as he thrust. “I’ll make you happy everyday” no doubt about that, you nod completely out of words as he bring you to the edge.

“Jaehyun right there” you moan as you spread your legs wider.

“Right here, hmm? Feels good?” he grabbed your waist with both hands and kept going with a faster pace. You nod weakly, mouth open and eyebrows furrow as you let go. Whispering sweet nothings to you while still hitting your good spot.

You shiver and curl beneath him as he chase his own orgasm and cum inside you. Cum dripping from your cunt, he slowly pull out and replaced in with his finger. Kissing you softly, while you still spread your legs for him and let him finger you as you both ride your high.

He kept you warm and calm after cleaning you, kissing you on your temple just a little too long but quick enough to ask for more.

“As much as I miss having sex with you, I think we should sleep already. I know you, you will ask for round two in ten minutes after you stretch your body- Look you’re doing it now” he shook his head playfully with a smile.

“Jaehyunie” you pout as you stretch and whine. “No” he playfully refuse. “We’ll have round two tomorrow” you nod as you accept defeat and snuggle beside him. Eyes closed and really comfortable he suddenly whispers, “I love you, y/n” you don’t say it back but he knows you love him too.

Jaehyun’s graduation finally came and you couldn’t be more proud. His parents flew from America and you finally meet them, again. “We knew it. We always knew you’re the right one for our Jaehyun” his mom told you, as you help her around the kitchen. The dinner was just Jaehyun, his parents and you.

“I have everyone that I love in this table, the people who helped me graduate and made me a better person. Cheers!” he kissed you in front of his parents, for the first time. “And you, thank you for giving me a second chance” he clinks your glass, took a sip on his wine, and kissed you again.

Soon, Jaehyun bought himself a decent apartment and asked you to move in with him. From there on, you sleep and wake up beside Jaehyun. No need to pick you up from your apartment, or watch you study at the library. Jaehyun is your home now.

[melanielocke]

A surprise baby - part 2

After spending the night with Augustus Pounceby and being humiliated when he proposes to someone else, Eugenia Lightwood finds herself pregnant outside of wedlock. She doesn’t want to lose her child, but doesn’t know how to keep her situation hidden anymore, nor does she have any intention of marrying Augustus, or any man at that. Instead, she’s fallen in love with Kamala Joshi.

CW: Pregnancy

AO3

Part 1

Taglist: @foxglove-airmid @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1

‘I hope you don’t like Charles too much,’ Kamala said. ‘As Alastair and I are having our weekly Charles Fairchild is an ass meeting and you’ve been invited to join.’

Eugenia would have considered Charles a friend once, but that was a long time ago. She’d thought once, that he was a more mature and sensible than his younger brother and had hoped he could talk some sense into the Merry Thieves. They certainly didn’t listen to her, and were the most reckless fools she’d ever encountered in her life.

But that was before Charles had abandoned Kamala in such a terrible way though. Who left their fiancée when they were sick? Kamala, it turned out, was glad to have dodged that bullet in the end. Eugenia guessed she felt the same way about Augustus now. She knew Kamala preferred women, and Eugenia began to suspect that she might not have a preference at all, and was in love with Kamala now.

It had been a few weeks since telling her parents and Thomas about her pregnancy. It had been decided Eugenia would have to travel for some time, but she wasn’t yet sure where and with who. With everything going on, Thomas preferred to stay in London with his friends.

‘Would it be possible to add Augustus Pounceby?’ Eugenia asked. ‘I mean, make it a weekly Charles Fairchild and Augustus Pounceby are both an ass meeting.’

‘Augustus Pounceby ís an ass,’ Alastair agreed. ‘He and I went to school together. He was the worst.’

Eugenia knew that at some point during his school years, Alastair had been awful as well. But since befriending him recently, he’d explained some of it and Eugenia could sympathize. The image of schoolboy Thomas trailing behind him was hilarious, especially now that she knew Thomas was deeply in love with Alastair. But it was also because Thomas had always noticed something was not right with Alastair, that he was hurting. Her little brother had always been awfully sensitive to other people’s moods, Eugenia couldn’t keep a thing from him. From Thomas’ stories, Alastair had grown and changed a lot since their school days, and Eugenia was glad for it because now she had two amazing friends she could hate on Augustus with.

She didn’t think anyone had ever treated Augustus badly, he simply believed he was better than everyone else and therefore deserved more. Even when Eugenia had been close to him, he’d always acted very entitled.

‘He is awful,’ Kamala agreed. ‘And racist. I agree we can hate on Augustus as well as Charles here. Who wants to share their feelings first?’

The afternoon was fun, and Eugenia felt welcomed into the group. Alastair and Kamala had been friends for a little longer, although that had taken a lot of effort on Kamala’s part. The problem was, a man and a woman spending time together was suspicious, and therefore there always had to be a third party present. At first that had been Grace, but she mostly seemed bored, and now her engagement with Charles was broken and Grace was gone… somewhere. Kamala was still looking into the whole thing as she had not given up on Grace, but Eugenia had no clue what had happened. Kamala and Alastair were glad to have Eugenia’s company, because even if the Bridgestocks did not approve of Alastair, at least they could be sure no one was ruining their daughter.

Alastair at some point decided to make fun of Charles’ posh accent, and Eugenia had to admit his imitation was on point.

‘I am thinking of traveling to India,’ Kamala said. ‘My parents… I know they love me, but they took me away from everything I know and pretend I was born here. I remember so little from India, I barely speak the language anymore. But I had a past there. And I’ve been trying to replicate the food my mom used to cook for me, but I never quite got it right.’

Eugenia had no idea what it was like, to be so disconnected from her culture and her homeland. Alastair knew a bit better. He still had his mother, but he hadn’t been in Persia for a long time and was estranged from his family. Eugenia suspected it was part of why Kamala and Alastair were so taken with each other, they both knew what it was like to live in England as someone who wasn’t white and who was disconnected from their homeland.

‘I’ll help you if you want to make another attempt at replicating your mother’s cooking,’ Alastair offered.

In the end when it was nearing dinner time, the three of them did go into the kitchen. Alastair apparently had learnt how to cook from their cook, Risa and mostly knew how to cook Persian food. Kamala knew a little about cooking, but mostly tried to go by smells she remembered from her childhood and vegetables she remembered had been in there.

Eugenia decided it was best for everyone involved if she sat back and watched. Tommy was the cook in the family. And her mother, of course, who had been a servant once. Eugenia, on the other hand, had been forbidden from entering the kitchen at home, and only helped with cutting up the vegetables here and there. Even she couldn’t mess that up, and if she ended up cutting herself, healing runes could be applied.

Bridget, the institute’s cook, was not too happy about them using the kitchen as a pastime, and released some very unsavory Irish curse words about the mess they were sure to make. Eugenia recognized the words, her mother was Irish too and she’d learnt the language, even if she had always struggled with learning languages. She responded in Irish, explaining what they were doing here as best as she could. For good measure she promised she would clean up.

‘I didn’t realize you spoke Irish,’ Kamala said.

‘I’m not great at languages, but I learnt Irish and Spanish from a young age,’ Eugenia said. ‘My mother is Irish and my father loves speaking Spanish at home. Tommy is better at languages though, he also speaks Welsh and Persian.’

Alastair stared at her, his eyes wide. ‘Thomas speaks Persian?’

‘He’s been studying Persian with Lucie,’ Eugenia said. ‘Lucie wanted to learn because she thought she should be able to speak her parabatai’s mother tongue. Thomas helped her because he’s so good with languages.’

Eugenia suspected his feelings for Alastair also played a role in his determination to learn the language. It was sweet, to learn someone’s language for them.

‘Charles never cared much about my language,’ Alastair said. ‘Nor what I said when I spoke it. I understand not everyone could learn, it’s not easy for an English speaker. But Thomas, he really speaks it?’

Eugenia imagined that had to be hurtful. She would love to learn Kamala’s language for her, even if she would never get any good at it. Still, it was the effort that counted, right? At least she hoped so.

‘He does read Persian poetry, so I imagine he grasps it. Don’t pin me down on it though, I don’t know how good he is. But he excels at languages and has been studying for several years now. He also helped James with learning for Cordelia. I was under the impression he speaks it quite well, doesn’t he?’

Alastair snorted. ‘I think he understand enough, but honestly his accent is embarrassing.’

Soon enough, the kitchen began to smell delicious. Kamala admitted what she’d made wasn’t quite what she remembered from home, but it was a better attempt than the last. Eugenia had had all sorts of cravings lately, not to mention a sensitivity to smells. She could barely stomach meat anymore, but she craved sweets at the most opportune moments.

Kamala and Alastair had made a vegetable dish with some rice and lots of spices, and the smell had to be the most amazing thing she’d smelt in a while. English food tended to be rather bland, favoring the flavor of meat and gravy which Eugenia currently couldn’t stomach. This was much better, and once they could eat, she made sure everything was finished even if Kamala and Alastair had cooked way too much for three.

‘Do they not feed you at home?’ Alastair asked when she finished her third plate. ‘Is it because Thomas eats everything? He must have gotten so ridiculously tall somehow.’

Eugenia snorted. Thomas was like a bottomless pit when it came to food, she suspected he was always hungry.

‘This is very good food,’ Eugenia said. ‘And I was very hungry.’ She contemplated what to say next for moment. Telling people about a pregnancy was a huge risk, but Alastair and Kamala were her friends. Apart from her parents and Thomas, they were the people she trusted more than anything. ‘I’m also eating for two people.’

Alright, at the moment she was eating for three people, but she blamed that on pregnancy cravings.

Alastair stared at her in confusion, Kamala in shock, her hand over her mouth.

‘You’re having a baby?’ Kamala whispered.

‘You can’t tell anyone,’ Eugenia said. ‘My parents and Tommy know, and now you, but beyond that no one can know. We’re still figuring out what to do. But as my closest friends, I thought you should know too. I don’t think I’d be able to hide it for much longer anyway.’

‘You could come to India with me,’ Kamala said. ‘I can hardly travel as a woman alone, and Alastair cannot leave his mother while she is about to give birth. We could return when you are about to give birth, make sure no one sees you until the baby is born, and the pretend we found the baby and don’t know whose it is except that they’re shadowhunters.’

Eugenia had to admit that plan was sound. She didn’t know anyone in India, no one who could spread the word she’d gotten pregnant out of wedlock. She could pretend she had a husband somewhere, but was traveling with her dear friend Kamala who wanted to reconnect with her home country.

‘Will your parents approve?’ Eugenia asked.

Kamala waved with her hand. ‘Oh, probably not. They do not approve of people calling me Kamala rather than Ariadne, or me spending time with Alastair, who they think is very improper company.’

Alastair shrugged. ‘They aren’t wrong.’

‘But I’m done seeking their approval,’ Kamala added. ‘I’m thinking of moving out. When I agreed to marry Charles, I had no one to fall back on, no support, only the very conditional love of my parents. But now that’s changed. Living as a woman alone would be unproper. But if you were to join me, dear Eugenia…. No one would question a thing.’

Would Kamala feel for her, as Eugenia did for her? She knew Kamala had recently broken things off with Anna, perhaps it was too soon. Eugenia loved her cousin, of course, but found it hard to accept that she treated her lovers as Augustus had treated Eugenia.

‘Would you help me care for the baby?’ Eugenia asked.

She knew reputation wise it was probably best to let someone adopt her child, but she didn’t want to. Eugenia did want to be a mother, and she didn’t want to wait around for another man who was only going to treat her badly.

‘Of course!’ Kamala exclaimed. ‘I’ve always wanted to be a mother, but after Charles I thought it wouldn’t happen. And I’ve had plenty of practice with little Alexander, I know how to take care of a child. And of course, Alastair will have plenty of experience soon enough.’

‘I’ll help you wherever I can,’ Alastair said. ‘And after several months of shopping for baby things with Cordelia, I know the best stores. Do you have any ideas for baby names?’

Eugenia had to admit she hadn’t thought about that yet. ‘If it’s a girl, her middle name will be Barbara,’ she said. ‘Beyond that, I have no clue. But we have at least four more months to figure it out.’

Alastair looked amused. ‘That is sweet. I am sorry about your sister.’

‘She would have loved the baby, I’m sure of it,’ Eugenia said.

‘Cordelia and I have been arguing about baby names ever since she found out mâmân was expecting.’

‘What did you come up with?’ Eugenia asked.

‘Rostam if it’s a boy. Shadi if it’s a girl. We both agreed the baby should have a Persian name, and with Father gone he won’t be able to object.’

‘Those are both lovely names,’ Kamala said.

‘I’m sorry about your father,’ Eugenia added. She didn’t think she’d offered him condolences yet. The funeral was days away now.

‘Don’t be,’ Alastair said. ‘He was… not a good father.’

She remembered Elias’ outburst at Cordelia’s wedding, how Alastair and James had dragged him off. Uncle Will and uncle Gabriel had attempted to distract people, but how much did that do, when everyone still left Sona and Alastair with him? She regretted not befriending Alastair sooner. She hadn’t known him all that well, honestly, not until he’d come to the sanctuary that day when Thomas had been arrested and she found out he’d been keeping her brother safe in secret.

‘Would you like to come take tea with me this week?’ Eugenia asked. ‘Both of you.’

Alastair hesitated. ‘With your parents? And your brother?’

Eugenia waved her hand impatiently. ‘Oh they’ll adore you. And they already know about those rumors, they’re not upset about stupid things you did when you were fifteen.’

Alastair didn’t say anything, and Eugenia wondered if he believed her. ‘I’m serious. My parents are very kind and forgiving. And they’re grateful you kept Tommy safe.’

‘I’m not sure it would be good for me to be around Thomas,’ Alastair said.

‘Because you still have feelings for him?’ Kamala asked.

‘Unfortunately, yes,’ Alastair said. ‘It is my curse, apparently, to always want what I can’t have.’

Eugenia rolled her eyes. ‘Always so dramatic, Alastair. Just ask my brother to go out for dinner with you. Tommy is old enough to choose for himself what he wants.’