#this is what dean was actually doing with the overcoat

[shallowseeker]

If you're a native Spanish speaker, wanna take a stab at the telenovela in 7x03? (It's very hard to hear under the main audio.) You can hear, My love, my love? I think I hear, no me dejes (Don't leave me) in the mix.

I love that Ricardo, you know, has a bloody collar and smudge on his right brow, kind of like...you know:

///

7x01

Ahem.

It also, of course, calls to mind John's death in 4x03, but only in how Mary cradles him.

The rest is so-- [REDACTED]

And if you think Dean wasn't grieving in his prickly veneer of toughness, listen to his voice in that brief moment he thought Cas was back. His breathy little "Ca-as?" is sooo shaky.

Then, he and Bobby both grabbed onto him with the intention of getting him home (and working through what just happened, "Okay, one thing at a time.") It was so--

This is the same episode where Cas said he had no more nostalgia for Dean and threatened to snap him into bloody soup, and then Dean urged Death to kill Cas, and Cas looked somehow shocked, despite what he'd just threatened to do himself. They're so--

To say nothing of the look on Dean's face when the Leviathan says in clear words, "Cas is, hmm, gone. He's-- dead!"

[pascaloverx]

Sweet Love

Summary: You're an up-and-coming writer, congratulations. To protect your beloved job, you're willing to do anything. Even strike a deal with the devil, better known as your sister's neighbor. You and Dean Winchester don't really see eye to eye, but in a moment of desperation, you agree to collaborate with him for a greater good.

Author's Notes: Many characters do not belong to me but to the Supernatural Universe (2005-2020). I hope you enjoy the fanfic's story. The fanfic will contain strong language and adult content.

chapter four chapter six

CHAPTER FIVE

The following days were calm. You and Dean exchanged glances when you met in the hallway of the building where you both live. You exchanged small kisses in the elevator, and when Sam was asleep, Dean made a late-night visit to you. One interesting thing is that since you started sleeping regularly with Dean, he has spent more time without bringing strangers home. And most importantly, your new book is going smoothly. This should cheer you up, but it doesn't. Because it means that when you finish writing the steamy parts of the book, this agreement with Dean will come to an end.

"Do you think your brother doesn't suspect anything?" You ask as you and Dean are coincidentally coming back from the grocery store together. Dean has his groceries in one hand and the other on your waist. He's leaning against the elevator while you're basically leaning against him.

"Do you really want me to think about my brother now?" Dean asks, his breath brushing close to your ear, and you smile awkwardly.

"We're in the elevator. Do you have a specific topic for now? Like what we've been doing together at night?" You turn to look at Dean, who looks at you with a mischievous gaze. You lean in to kiss him. A quick kiss, but full of passion. The truth is, there's chemistry between you and Dean, and spending time with him has been a good thing for you.

"I think we should drop off the groceries at your sister's apartment and head to the car. I think there are one or two things we can do there that will be good for your writing. A confined, tight space with two people. Sounds promising." He says between your kisses, which makes you giggle. Until the elevator door opens on your floor, revealing Castiel. He and Dean lock eyes, and you don't know what to do. Obviously, you step out of the elevator, and Dean follows suit, even though he hasn't shown any reaction since he saw Castiel. Castiel looks very handsome, with an elegant overcoat and a glow aura. But his expression shows concern.

"You didn't respond to my invitation, so I thought I'd come here to see if you…" Castiel speaks softly, as if gathering the strength to face Dean. Dean then stares at him, looking angry, and you wonder if it's a good time to leave the hallway and let them talk in peace. But Dean seems to read your mind and gently holds your hand. You wonder if he did this to feel support or to hurt Castiel.

"I've been busy. Damn, actually, I haven't been that busy, but you can imagine why I didn't respond to your invitation. Who invites their ex to their wedding?" Dean responds to Castiel, basically interrupting whatever Castiel might have been trying to say. You look at Dean with a disapproving glance.

"Do you really want to discuss this in front of Y/N?" Castiel asks, and you understand him. Their relationship is their business. As much as you're sleeping with Dean, it doesn't give you the right to interfere in his personal affairs.

"Actually, Castiel, I don't want to discuss this. I thought it would be obvious that I'm not going to your wedding but since I have to say it in so many words, I won't be able to watch you get married with someone else. I'm trying to overcome the hole you left in my life. It would be better if you respected that." Castiel looks a little saddened by Dean's words but shakes his head positively.

"I just wish we could be friends. But I don't think you're ready for that. I wish you the best in the world, Dean. And it was a pleasure seeing you again, Y/N." Castiel lightly touches Dean's shoulder and after the two exchange a long look. It's as if the tension between them is building up in front of you. A crestfallen Castiel leaves, taking the stairs instead of the awkward wait for the elevator.

"You could have been more delicate with him. Maybe he just wants you two to have a healthy end to your relationship." You say and Dean looks at you a little annoyed.

"Look, even though we fuck and get along well, we're not a couple. I don't need your advice. I am able to know how I should act in any situation." Dean is rude to you, which shouldn't surprise you but it does. You try to hide that you're upset by heading towards the door of your sister's apartment. But Dean holds the door before you can enter.

"What do you want? Insult me? Treat me like you just treated the guy who stood by your side for two years, even when you looked beyond repair?" You turn around nervously and speak with some anger but the truth is that you're not lying.

"I don't want to make the same mistakes, Y/N. I'm sorry if I was too frank or even a big idiot. I just..." Dean looks at you wistfully and you feel like he must simply be hurt. Which isn't an excuse.

"At the end of the day you're right. We're not together. You should do what you do best and go fuck everyone. Maybe then you'll get over what happened to you and Castiel. And if it wasn't clear, our agreement is over." You say looking into Dean's eyes and then you push the door hard and enter the apartment. You hear Dean call your name a few times, but you ignore him. Right now, all you want is a tub of ice cream and to watch a movie.

[insanesonofabitch]

For everything there is a season. You made an exception for me. You’re different. For the first time, I feel… See, he has this weakness. He likes you. My superiors have begun to question my sympathies. Your sympathies? I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. Dean and I do share a more profound bond. You think I came because you called? I came because this. …well, it’s nice to know what matters. It does help one to focus. I’m sorry, you had me confused with the other angel? The one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you? I’m holding up my end. Ah yes, because that’s all you’re holding, huh? See, the stench of that Impala’s all over your overcoat, angel. Thank you for protecting my wife. …your wife? Go ask him, he was your boyfriend first. Why should we give you anything? After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you corrupts! When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost!!! I’m not good luck, Dean. You know what, bottom of the ninth and you’re the only guy left in the bench? Sorry but I’d rather have you. Cursed or not….what? Well, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I detect a note of forgiveness. Yeah, well, we’re probably gonna die tomorrow, so… Well I’ll go with you. Where’s the angel? You’ll find your angel there. Damn it’s good to see you! Nice peach fuzz. I prayed to you, Cas! Every night! I know. You know, and you didn’t—what the hell’s wrong with you? I’m an angel in a land of abomination. There have been things hunting me from the moment we arrived. Join the club! These are not just monsters, Dean. They’re leviathan. I have a price on my head and I’ve been trying to stay one step ahead of them to—to keep them away from you. That’s why I ran. Cas, we’re going home. If the leviathans wanna take a shot at us, let them! We’ve ganked those bitches once before we can do it again. Let me bottom-line it for you. I’m not leaving here without you. Buddy, I need you. Cas, it’s me. We’re family. We need you. I need you. Cas— I know you’re in there…I know you are. I forgive you, Cas. I—[redacted][redacted]. You see, I don’t trust angels. And yet, you haven’t warded this place against us… Oh, I know. You’re hoping Castiel would return to you. I admire your loyalty, I only wish he felt the same way. And after a rousing speech, his true weakness is revealed. He’s in love…with humanity. You gave us order, Castiel. And we gave you our trust. Don’t loose it over one man. The Angel tablet, arguably the most powerful instrument in the history of the universe is in pieces. And for what again? Oh, that’s right. To save Dean Winchester. Oh, that was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven…but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Clock’s ticking again, isn’t it? So heroic. Running errands all over the US, burning through that rather finite supply of grace all…in a desperate effort, to save your boyfriend. And then you’d kill the angel Castiel now that one—that, I suspect, would hurt something awful. Everyone you know, everyone you love…they could be long dead. Everyone except me. I’m the one who’ll have to watch you murder the world. Dean, stop… I don’t know, I mean, there’s things, people…feelings that I—I, I wanna experience differently than I have before. Or maybe even for the first time. …I’m just starting to think that, maybe there’s more it all than I thought. You wanna know the secret to living a long life? Actually yes I do. Follow your heart. You do that, all the rest just figures itself out. I can see inside your heart, feel the love you feel, except…it’s cloaked in shame. I’m gonna cure you of your human weakness, same way I cured my own. By cutting it out. You blast me away you blast away every angel in the room. I’ll survive. Castiel on the other hand, he’s hurt. He might live or he might just end up a bloody smear on the wall. Do it. Roll the dice…that’s what I thought. I just, uh, wanted to return this… It’s a gift. You keep those. It was under my pillow. He went into my room and he played me!

[all-alone-he-turns-to-stone]

Dirty, Dirty Little Secret

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Also on AO3

Summary: Crowley has lots secrets. He’s still alive and hiding, for example. But his dirty, dirty little secret is much darker than this. He thought no one knew, but then, he found him. His former friend, now possessed by an archangel. And Michael has a deal Crowley cannot refuse.

Pairing: Michael!Dean x Crowley / Crowley x Dean

Warning: Smut, Noncon / Dubcon, p in a, unprotected sex, forced orgasm, bottom!Dean, Top!Crowley

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2131

Square filled: @spnkinkbingo​: Crowley/Michael / @lgbtqbingo​: Michael!Dean

A/n: Not me forgeting the spn kink bingo deadline is in 5 days haha! I’m gonna try and write as much as I can before the deadline. So, this was one of the square on my card. Happens during season 14 when Dean is possessed by Michael. Canon divergent, Crowley never died. 

This is dark, please, mind the warnings before clicking on the keep reading.

“How did you find me?”

It was barely a whisper leaving his parted lips. The room was silent, dead silent, only the steps on the floor creaked through the silence.

The bar had been empty for months now, with the exception of him. In the farthest isle he could find, he hid, bought a creepy, old dirty bar, and stayed there.

Out of all the lights in this place, only a couple of light bulbs were still working. The man didn’t think it was necessary to replace them, he wasn’t afraid of the dark. He was the darkness, well, he used to be, before he-

“It wasn’t hard.” The voice sent shivers down his spine. If there was one thing he would never forget, it was Dean Winchester’s raw voice, scratching every inch of his meat suit. “I have to admit, faking your death, your big sacrifice to save the day… I was impressed.”

The creaks stopped close behind him. Crowley didn’t turn around, not that he didn’t want to. Hell, he wanted to look at him, his friend, the man he had the weirdest love hate relationship ever, but he didn’t. He missed Dean, all of those months hidden here, in this bar, his little private paradise… He thought about him. Especially that summer they spent together when he was a demon too.

He shouldn’t have so many emotions. Feelings. He was a demon, for fuck sake. The king of hell- well, the former one… He wasn’t human. The demon felt no attachment, no regrets, no fear.

But when Michael and Lucifer showed up and other alternate realities mixed with all of the troubles he had maintaining control in hell, he just…

“Bailed,” the voice continued. Crowley sighed, placed his glass of whiskey on the counter, and finally turned to him. “You ran away Crowley… Everyone thought you were dead.”

“That was the whole point, actually.” Crowley knew who he had in front of him. Even if he heard and recognized the voice as Dean, he knew he wouldn’t have the hunter in front of him. Not really. “Fake my death, run, hide, bla bla…” 

The moment he laid his eyes on him, Crowley knew he would get all of those feelings he spent months burying back. He hadn’t seen anyone ever since he faked his death, and Dean… Was Dean. 

Crowley’s gaze scrunched the man carefully. His hair was longer and slicked to the side. It was a very nice outfit he was wearing, white button shirt, waist coat sweetening the curves of his chest, and an overcoat thrown over. As a last detail, a red tie was tied to perfection around his neck.

The demon had to admit, the archangel had taste. That shirt really brought out Dean’s strong figure, especially his shoulders.

“Didn’t run far enough,” the archangel tilted his head to the side. The more Crowley detailed the man in front of him, the more he could see him under the shell. Michael. Dean finally said yes to him. So his sacrifice went useless, in the end, if the WInchester thought necessary to say yes to that bastard in order to defeat the big bad devil.

“Well. I tried,” Crowley sighed dramatically. “You can do what you came here for.” Turning around, the demon took his glass of whiskey and drank the remaining of it. “Kill m-”

But when he turned again, it was to be face to face with a way too familiar face. Michael was now in his personal space, so close Crowley could see the stubble barely visible on his chin and smell the aftershave he used. Not the one Dean usually used, but still, under that fake expensive perfume, the demon could also detect something familiar.

Dean’s smell. Cheap alcohol. Motor oil. Gun powder. Bad motel soap. 

A lump got stuck in Crowley’s throat as he tried to hide the true feelings that were raging inside of him. His dirty little secret.

“You know I can see everything Dean saw, I have access to his memory. But I wanted to see it myself just to be sure.” The shadow of a smile stretched on Dean’s lips, completely taking Crowley’s focus. That wasn’t Dean. He had to remind himself of that. But still, the demon’s gaze stayed on the lower part of the archangel’s face. “I don’t want to kill you. Actually, I’m here for business.”

That actually teased Crowley’s inner, lost business man. "Business?"

The smile crept up further on Dean’s face. “I can deal with heaven. With earth. But once this place is destroyed and humans are all dead, I don’t want to deal with what’s under. I need you to take your place back on the throne and deal with all the filthy demons.”

That, Crowley didn’t expect. Michael stepped back, the half non-natural smile still on his face. He was waiting, watching Crowley for any reaction.

“You want me to-” A sarcastic laugh echoed in the room as Crowley turned around once more to refill his glass. “Bloody hell, sure didn’t expect that. And what on heaven or earth would you think I want to be ruling hell again? To be honest, I would rather prefer you ending me right now.

“I’ll give you something in return.”

For a moment, with his back turned and lots of whiskey in his system, Crowley could almost hear Dean. If he focused enough, he could change his pitch a little to match Dean's grumpy one. Michael was speaking slower, so it felt a bit weird… But if he focused, it was like he had his pal back. “What possibly could I want that you have?”

No answer to that question, well, not with words. Behind him, Crowley could hear rustling of clothes, then something light hitting the floor. Turning around, the demon quickly understood.

Michael knew. The thing Crowley wanted but never took even if he could. His dirty little secret.

In front of him, he had everything he ever wanted to see. His chest was perfect, broad, strong shoulders above a soft, defined stomach. Happy trail disappearing in his probably expensive tracksuit. Pale skin, probably way too soft under his hands.

“You always wanted a piece of Dean, and I’ll gladly give it all to you. See, angels don’t care about sex. It’s something God created for humans to have fun and incite them to procreate. Somehow, you’re still human enough to desire Dean.” Michael outstretched his hands, offering Dean’s body like a cake on a plate for a birthday.

A part of Crowley knew this was wrong. It was Dean, inside, and clearly, he hadn’t given his consent. But then, Crowley remembered. 

He was a demon, for fuck sake.

“Alright, let me just write the contract.”

-

It felt like heaven.

Strange thing to say from a demon from hell.

But being inside of him, inside of Dean, his warm, tight, probably virgin hole… It felt like heaven.

Dean could take him whole, and it was surprising for someone with little to no experience with men. 

“I see those extra inches are of good use,” the man under him commented in a low, unbothered voice.

Crowley grinned. “This isn’t my body, of course. But I didn’t pick this meatsuit for his good looks, obviously,” a harder thrust sent Dean’s body a bit forward. A barely audible whimper could be heard as Michael was caught off guard. It was the only thing that could get a response out of him. Otherwise, the archangel would not make a single sound.

“If you think this will be enough to humiliate me, or to get a vocal response, you’re wrong,” Michael groaned like he read his thoughts. The back of the archangel was turned to the demon, his elbows resting on the counter of the bar. His perfect ass cheeks were presented to the demon that was currently balls deep inside of him. “This body is having normal reactions to what you’re doing.”

Of course, that didn’t convince Crowley. Yes, he knew the human body pretty well for having tortured plenty of them. But the person inside the said body could feel everything. And the hard on the angel had was proof of that.

“Alrighty then, you won’t mind if I pick up the speed a little bit, don’t cha?” 

With those words said, the demon gripped the angel’s hips tightly, pulled out completely of the abused hole and thrusted rougher than the previous time. Another whimper blew between the lips of the man under him as Crowley repeated the same movement over and over again, with the same roughness, picking up the speed every time he pushed back inside. And quickly, he was pounding, balls slapping against the now very hard cock hanging between Dean’s legs. 

“That’s enough,” Michael managed to say after a few tries of finding his breath back. Crowley was sure the archangel was about to break the contract and push him away, but hell, he would still be satisfied with what he had. It felt so good, if it was the last thing he felt before his end, then it would be the best way to go. If seeing Dean’s perfectly built back and watching his cock disappearing between his small, round cheeks were the last thing he would see, well, he saved the best for last.

But Michael didn’t push him away. Humiliation did touch the angel though, because the next voice that called his name wasn’t his.

“Crowley, you son of a bitch!! Get out!”

A shiver of pure pleasure ran through the demon’s spine upon hearing the familiar voice. “Dean, finally…” The hunter tried to push himself away from him, but Crowley held him back against the counter with the force only demons have. “Hope you enjoy the show, Michael.”

“Fuck off! Get off!” Dean shouted, but it took only one thrust to shut his pretty mouth. “Fuck…” Was now a whimper he tried to hold back. Of course, getting back the control of his body while he was being fucked stupid, Dean wouldn’t be able to fight for long. 

“You’re enjoying it, look at how hard you are,” Crowley whispered as he resumed his movements. As hard and fast as before, the demon groaned as he felt the hole tighten around his cock. “You can’t tell me you never did this before, squirrel, it’s like your hole is made for me.”

“Fuck… You…” Was all Dean could say before his insults turned into quiet moans. 

“Fucking you, I am doing just that,” Crowley grinned as he slowed down, only to grab Dean’s cock in his hand. Matching his thrusts with his hand, he jerked off Dean real good. Truth was, hearing his moans was all he missed to cum. Michael was good and obedient, respecting the contract, but not very vocal. Dean, on the other hand…

“Fuck… fuck… Gonna- oh fuck, son of a bitch…”

A few moments later, his hole was squeezing him impossibly tighter, it was hard to keep moving. The cock in his hand twitched and hot cum stained the bottom of the counter. The sound Dean made as he came, a mix of a moan he tried to hold back and a groan of frustration, was all Crowley needed to meet his own end. 

Before he came, he pulled out and finished on Dean’s ass cheeks. Not that he didn’t want to fill him with his cum, he dreamed of it. He dreamed of seeing his seed overflow from the tight hole he was just in. But it was part of the contract. He could fuck the body, but was not allowed to soil it.

“Now that this is done,” Crowley muttered as he dressed up again. In front of him, Dean was still motionelles. Then, like he was animated like a puppet, the body straightened and turned to him. A part of Crowley was sad to see Michael back behind the wheel. Even if the moment he spent with the real Dean was short, he really enjoyed it. “Guess I have some work to do now, don’t I.”

“You better respect your part of the contract, demon,” Michael groaned, his eyes flashing blue. There was a slight frown on his forehead, like something was hurting him. “Dean is quite mad at you and banging like crazy in there.”

Crowley nodded. Dean would be mad at him, and the demon knew, if he ever got the archangel out of his body, he would hunt the shit out of him. But hell, he was a demon. Dean was a hunter. Wasn’t it what they always do? Cat and mouse game?

“It was nice hearing you again, Dean. Until next time.”

And then, with a clap of his fingers, Crowley was back in hell. The throne was empty, but dozens of demons were surrounding it. “Hello everyone. Missed me?”

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[clairenatural]

god now i’m thinking about cas’ coat and what it means to him. like it was jimmy’s but now it’s his. when we actually meet jimmy he spends most of the episode not wearing the coat, because now the coat is for cas. it’s an identifier. “the one in the dirty trench coat.” “the stench of that impala is all over your overcoat.” “baby in a trench coat.” “with that stupid, dumb trench coat.” he gets rid of it when he’s human, because he has to, but he goes and buys another one as soon as he can. it’s big and floppy and gets in the way of fighting but he keeps it and he fixes it every time it gets damaged. when he’s running on stolen grace, he sews the coat up by hand. dean keeps the coat when he’s gone and gives it back as a way of welcoming him home, and he wears it over his scrubs at the end of s7--because despite everything, he’s still cas. he wears it through purgatory, and he cleans it up with the rest of his outfit when he gets back in s8. when he strips donatello’s mind he takes off the coat, preparing to do something he promised he’d never do. the only time anyone else wears it is when jack is in the hospital, dying, and cas takes off his coat to wrap it around his son instead.

[thekingslover]

Cas doesn’t mean to stare, but every time he tries to look away from the bartender, the guy flashes a wide smile that pulls Cas straight back. Cas hasn’t even ordered yet and now he’s too nervous to - especially when the bartender walks down the length of the bar, closer, close enough for Cas to see green eyes and freckles. 

“What you having?”

“Dean,” Cas says, reading his name tag.

The bartender - Dean - laughs again, knocking Cas so off balance, it takes him far too long to understand why.

“Buy me dinner first, huh?” Dean winks.

Oh. Oh. Cas’s face catches fire. “I...” Should he apologize? But Dean doesn’t seem bothered. He’s still watching Cas, still waiting. He leans closer even, one elbow on the bar. He looks Cas up and down. 

“You always wear that overcoat?”

Cas swallows. I just came from work, he would say, if he could formulate words. If being this close to so much handsome hadn’t stolen all of his sense.

“Beer,” Cas says instead, and winces.

Humor sparks in Dean’s eyes. His smile softens but stays. Cas tenses, preparing for another joke at his expense, but this time, it doesn’t come.

“One beer, coming right up.” Dean turns.

Cas exhales, thanking every god in the universe and the next that Dean didn’t ask him which kind.

Dean comes back with a Budweiser. It’s not what Cas would have ordered but he keeps his mouth firmly shut when Dean plops it onto the bar in front of him, lest he humiliate himself further.

“Happy hour special,” Dean says, and Cas nods. Dean waits a moment, but Cas can’t tell what for. He wants Dean to stay forever, so he can keep looking into those green eyes. But just as much, he wants Dean to leave so some of his senses might return.

Dean sighs. “Dude, the blush is very cute, but you have to pay. If I buy you a beer, it’s going to be something better than that.”

Cas’s mind catches on cute so long he almost misses pay. Cas reaches for his wallet in a hurry. “I’m so sorry,” he manages as pulls out a twenty. “I’m not... I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Long day?” Dean takes the money, and makes change under the counter.

Actually, yeah. It was a long day. His boss’s management style consisted mostly of yelling, and though Cas worked hard to stay out of the crosshairs, today he made the mistake of not completing a report he’d never been assigned. His boss yelled so long, he had to take a five minute water break in between where Cas stood outside his office door like a kid at the principal’s office.

Funny how he’d forgotten all that, when he came into this bar and saw Dean.

“It’s better now,” Cas says. When Dean hands him his change, Dean’s fingers brush against his palm. He could have avoided touching him altogether. He didn’t.

Dean’s eyes drop to Cas’s mouth. “Mine, too, angel.”

Cas licks his lips. His mind screams, ask him out, but as he opens his mouth, “Hey, do you think--” someone at the end of the bar calls for Dean.

Dean walks away.

Cas takes his beer. He leaves a few dollars tip, and walks to the corner where his co-workers loom. They spend the night complaining about work, about their boss, and one even buys Cas a second beer in sympathy.

As they start to leave, Cas takes their empty bottles to the bar. It’s not as busy as before - only a few regulars sit around the edges, buried deep in their whiskey and electronic poker machines.

“Night still going alright?” Dean asks.

Cas nods. “Ending.” He waves to his co-workers filing out the front door.

Dean hums, drawing Cas’s attention back. He takes his time dragging his eyes down Cas’s body and back up again. When he reaches Cas’s eyes, he holds them. “Pity.”

Cas swallows.

“You know,” Dean says, “I don’t usually render men speechless.”

“You should,” Cas says, finding his voice, if only in outrage at everyone else for not noticing this man’s beauty. “You are... breathtaking.”

Dean straightens. His eyes go wide a little.

Cas fumbles, clattering the bottles together. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. He has never been very good at flirting. His previous dates always said he was too direct. He isn’t skilled at the games they like to play. Most times, he feels like he doesn’t know the rules.

Dean places his hand on top of Cas’s, stilling it before he can knock the bottles onto the floor. Dean’s skin is warm and rough and Cas has to close his eyes to gather himself.

“You got a name?” Dean asks.

“Cas.”

Dean hums again, and Cas, curious, peeks open his eyes.

“Cas,” Dean says, breathy, and Cas knows for a fact he will do anything this man wants to do, ever and always.

“Yes, Dean?”

He squeezes Cas’s hand. “I’m free on Mondays. You want a date?” 

[misterspectacular]

Jack was the reason Castiel realized he was in love with Dean.

It happened in season 14, episode 2 after this particular discussion:

Jack is Castiel's mirror. Jack shows Castiel who he is, because Jack is (as most children are) a reflection of those who raised him. In Jack's case, he's especially a reflection of Cass (Castiel is more a father to him than the others). 

Jack, here, is behaving very much like Castiel did in 13x14 (Good Intentions).

In that episode, Castiel basically thinks Jack brought him back (from the Empty) so that he can prepare... to defeat Michael.

--skip ahead--

So after this, Dean and Cass were sent on a mission by Donatello and almost die as a result -- they realize they were set up by Donatello. We find out the reason Donatello was trying to get them killed is because he’s soulless and his mind was corrupted by the tablet as a result (souls act as a sort of filter). He thinks he needs to protect the tablet, protect the power and the knowledge, so he’s refusing to tell them what he’s translated (which is the entire thing).

So Sam and Dean are trying to get the info out of Donatello, and Castiel watches from the computer while they do. It doesn’t seem that anyone’s really considered killing Donatello.

But Donatello, during this, suffocates Dean with his magic.

AKA

And Cass freaks out, cause of course.

And then he wants to DESTROY DONATELLO. Look at this. I love the camera angles, and the zooming up, and Castiel’s little “I’m gonna kill him” face. How dare he do that to Dean?

This is literally the moment that Castiel decides, you know what. I’m gonna kill this guy. Yet he kind of plays it off like it’s just because he doesn’t have a soul, this is the KIND thing to do.

But does this face say “oh, poor guy, we should end his suffering“?

No. This face says “I am going to destroy you”.

So he says, let’s end his suffering, it’s better if we kill him because if he dies then another prophet comes into being... one that will give them the translation. Sam and Dean are both very against this idea, even if it means it’ll open up the portal and they’ll get their mother and Jack back. And Sam says, no, we don’t need to kill the guy, we just need the spell. So Castiel says “fine” and rushes to go lock himself in the room with Donatello.

Castiel asks if Donatello knows the spell they need. And Donatello confirms that he does, but that Castiel is wasting his time. He didn’t give the spell to Sam and Dean, and he’s not going to give it to Cass either.

Castiel removes his wings -- I mean, his overcoat, cause he’s gonna do some dastardly deeds and he knows it.

So it’s back to what I said before. As soon as Donatello used his magic to suffocate Dean, he wanted to destroy the bastard. And he may have other reasons for doing what he’s doing, risking his life, Donatello’s life, but I definitely think he was considering other methods up UNTIL Donatello hurt Dean. (Actually, those “other reasons” are to stop Lucifer and MICHAEL. So that actually relates to Dean, too -- wanting to stop Michael. And “anyone else” I believe IS “Michael”. From the beginning of this episode, Castiel has stated that he feels it’s his duty to stop him, and I don’t doubt that he has fears related to Michael wanting to use this reality’s Dean as a vessel).

So Castiel stays behind while Sam and Dean take Donatello to the hospital.

--skip ahead--

So the interesting part here, is that Castiel is saying “I will do whatever it takes to stop Michael”, yet when Jack is talking to him in 14x02, Castiel is clearly considering all other options before he considers allowing Dean to die. He’s more focused on saving Dean than the rest of the world, which has always been the thing with Cass (“It was all about saving one man, right?” -- Metatron. And then the thing with the mark of Cain when Castiel says that he’ll “have to watch” Dean destroy the world, rather than “I’ll have to stop you from destroying the world”. Dean always comes first, even above the whole damn world).

So basically when Castiel says “whatever it takes”, it’s not “whatever it takes to save the world”, it’s “whatever it takes to save Dean”.

After all, “Dean Winchester is saved,” the angel uttered as soon as he’d gripped the man tight and raised him from perdition. It’s truly fitting, isn’t it?

So I think that conversation with Jack kind of showed him that, normally he IS on Jack’s side of things... just not when it comes to Dean. Never when it comes to Dean. And why would that be? ....

I kind of love how Castiel sort of tries to weave his way around admitting it, though (previous to 15x18). He has a tendency to do that sort of thing. I noticed it in 15x03 when he was talking to Belphagor.

This is absolutely, definitely true -- he’s telling the truth about how Belphegor wearing Jack is affecting him, BUT... Dean being upset with him is also a huge reason that he’s upset. He stated those things about being used because it IS on his mind. The scene just before this one kind of proves that, for me, as well:

Ten seconds later...

I do definitely think him using Jack’s body is incredibly upsetting but I also think Belphegor is stating a lot of what Castiel believes to be truths. I mean, we have to remember that the writers are doing this on purpose, and why else would they have Belphegor say all this stuff that’s meant to hurt Castiel if it’s not even gonna work (cause it’s not true). Cass is definitely not just angry because of the demon using his son’s body. This is actually the same ep that he “moves on” from Dean.

My point was, anyway, that Cass has this habit of kind of weaving his way around his own truths -- it’s not even that he lies, but he avoids saying or admitting to the most obvious truth which is that he’s in love with Dean.

I know I really branched off, here, but I have ADD so you’re gonna have to deal...  besides I make a lot of valid points, anyway.

[rowan-underthehouse]

Riverbank

Pairing: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 1,486

Additional Tags: Not Actually Unrequited Love, Mutual Pining, Unresolved Sexual Tension

Summary:

After his encounter with Zachariah, Dean is on his way to team back up with Sam, but he’s not quite ready to let go of the relief of hunting with Cas. At least, not without one last night to enjoy himself.

Read it on Ao3 here

Dean is drunk. Not piano-man-at-the-karaoke-bar drunk, but warm, fuzzy, anything-is-possible, still-mostly-functional drunk. Maybe that’s what tugs him toward the river, dropping his jacket and overshirt in a heap as he goes and stretching up toward the moonlight.

“There’s nothing here, Cas, not even an urban legend,” he calls back to the car where Cas stands, stoic and awkward as always. “Come on, man, I’m baking out here.”

Castiel, for his part, seems unbothered by the heat that’s making Dean wish he could crawl into an industrial freezer for a few hours. He squints at Dean, his clothes in the grass, and the river behind him, apparently realizing his intentions.

Dean assumes angels can swim. Maybe the wings help. Like a duck or a pigeon or something. His brain is too blurry to care.

“Dean…There isn’t time for this. God is still nowhere to be-”

He doesn't fully realize he's moving back toward Cas until he has an arm loosely slung around the angel’s shoulder, urging him toward the water.

“World’s ending. May as well bang a few gongs on the way out. Think you're onto something there.”

“I’ve never said that”

Dean pats him on the chest, letting his hand linger a few seconds too long as he swings around to face him. He slides his hands back to shuck the overcoat from Cas’ shoulders, watching with a muted smirk as it hits the ground.

“You will. In a few years.”

“Dean, what did Zachariah show-”

“It doesn't matter. It hasn't changed anything,” Dean cuts him off again, nudging the suit jacket from his shoulders. “Now, come on.”

Of course Cas knows he’s lying. It’s changed everything. Even though his plan to say no to Michael is still concrete, it all feels different now. Palpable. Unavoidable. It’ll eat Dean up if he lets it.

Dean’s focused on undoing that familiar old blue tie when he feels Cas’ gaze searching his face. For a split second, he wonders if he’s gone too far; taken the threads of friendship that are only just starting to come together and pulled until they snapped. That’s when Cas meets his eyes.

He’s grinning.

Castiel is honest-to-god grinning.

He’s got one of those smiles that takes up his whole face, making his eyes all squinty and digging itself into Dean’s heart to root there. It’s fucking contagious.

“What?” Dean feels a smile start to tug at the corners of his own lips.

“It’s good to see you like this, Dean. Unrestrained.” Cas pulls his tie the rest of the way off in a single fluid motion that drops Dean’s stomach right out of his body. It’s not an unpleasent feeling, and certainly not new when it comes to Cas and his fucking cosmic powers, but it’s harder to ignore now.

“That would be the booze.”

“No.” There’s that grin again. “It isn’t.”

“I’m doing something for me for once. Not worrying about Sam. Gonna enjoy that as long as I can.”

It’s not the truth, not the whole truth, anyway. Neither of them push the subject.

Dean gives himself to the count of three to memorize the scene in front of him. Cas, relaxed and happy in the heavy evening air, a fair few paces south from sober himself. Maybe in another life every night would look like this. It’s not worth dwelling on.

“Come on. Get in.” Dean kicks off his boots and unceremoniously drops into the water. Cas isn’t far behind, looking uncharacteristically peaceful as the water soaks into his slacks. A very intentionally aimed splash hits the front of his shirt, and Dean flashes him a mischievous little smirk, flopping backward into the water.

It’s fucking frigid, much colder than should be possible given the fry-an-egg-on-the-asphalt kind of heat just above the surface. It rushes in Dean’s ears, pounds in his heart, crushing and uncontrolled, but hell if he doesn't feel alive. He comes up for air 50 feet down the river, where the current slows just enough for him to find purchase on the rocks below, beaming as water pours off the tips of his fingers. He lets out a whoop into the night air.

“You coming?” he yells, not knowing if his voice carried far enough until Cas’ shoulders drop below the water.

He's more restrained than Dean was, his shock of black hair never dipping completely below the water, watching the trees whip past him. Dean has to catch him by the arm to keep him from missing the shallow part entirely.

As soon as Cas gets his footing, Dean is lost. There's something about the way Cas shoves his wet hair out of his eyes, the way his now untucked shirt billows around him in the water, it's so irrevocably human, and somehow everything but.

Dean stumbles forward, flinging his arms around Cas’ neck. He's planning to make some dumb joke, he really is, but Cas is panting, his eyes almost glowing in the moonlight, and damn, it makes Dean a little weak at the knees. The joke dies on his tongue.

He's high on the air passing between them. Downright fucking giddy. Dean presses forward, closing the gap until it's not much more than a hair's breadth.

“You’re….you’re really something, Cas.”

One hand comes up to play with the dripping collar of Cas’ shirt, and he leans into it like he’s desperate. It might just be the most powerful Dean has ever felt, this tiny moment waist deep in a river.

All he’d have to do is lose his balance, give an inch to the pull of the current and his body would be against Castiel’s. He wouldn’t even have to take the leap himself. Instead, Dean’s fingers ghost along Cas’ collarbone, the side of his neck, coming to rest against the sharp curve of his jaw. It sends a full body shiver through Cas.

Dean meets his eyes, searching for some kind of clue, a hint about what the hell is happening. It’s clear as the water rushing around their legs.

He tries to tether down his racing heart and settles his other hand on Cas’ hip. Dean feels Cas’ calloused hands moving to his waist before he sees them, sparks of electricity flying across his ribcage. He loses his focus, digging his thumb into Cas’s hip so hard it’ll definitely leave a bruise. Cas doesn’t flinch, his eyes flicking to Dean’s lips.

“Cas-“

The phone in Dean’s jacket pocket rings, the sound of it somehow floating above the current. The half-minute before it goes to voicemail passes agonizingly slow. Once his eyes leave Cas’, Dean finds he can’t force them back again. He feels his cheeks flush a deep, embarrassed, red.

The phone rings again.

Dean lets it go to voicemail.

It rings again.

“Bobby… dammit.” Dean wades to the edge of the river and hauls himself onto the bank, fishing his phone out of his pocket.

He’s only distantly aware of his own conversation, of his vague explanation about Zachariah and the plan to meet up with Sam in the morning. He’s pretty sure he agrees to start looking into a hunt early the next morning, a way for him and Sam to get back in the saddle. He only half listens to what it is. Bobby will email the articles if it’s important enough for three phone calls. His eyes flick back to Cas over and over, still waist deep in the water, looking more awkward by the second.

“Are you listening to a word I’ve said?” Bobby’s voice comes through the receiver, startling Dean out of his fog.

“Yeah, uh, I’ll call you right back.”

Cas has pulled himself to shore by the time the call disconnects, gaze lost in the stars. Dean can’t help but wonder how intimately he knows each one. If he was there when they were formed.

It’s easy to forget sometimes, looking at him in his dirty overcoat, exactly what Castiel is: ancient, powerful, unknowable. It hits Dean all at once like a brick straight to the chest. Whatever this thing between them is, whatever he thought Cas was feeling, it was just a trick of the moonlight. Moonlight does that. It plays tricks on people. And Dean isn’t about to be played for a fool. No angel of the lord would waste their time on some burnt out, used up, hunter. As soon as they sort all this apocalypse crap out, Cas will leave, just like everyone else. Dean is sure of it.

Cas offers Dean a small smile, waiting for him to come forward.

Dean hesitates.

He knows the moment Cas notices, his face shifting to shame. “I should go. I have work to do.”

“Cas wait-“

He’s gone before Dean can take another step, and Dean is left alone, with nothing but the rushing river and the tiny hope that whatever happened between them wasn’t all in his head.

[supernatural-reacts]

Season 6 episode 20

- I know exactly two things about this episode; a) that it is destiel heavy and b) that it is painful. Other than that I’m going in completely blind so this should be interesting.

- CAS POV?! CAS POV?!?! HOLY SHIT CAS POV!!?!?

- is he praying or breaking the fourth wall or...?

- “hello Dean” 🥺

- god the way Cas looks at him. All I can think is “still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester.”

- Castiel stop fricking lying

- “but Cas you’ll call right? If you get in to real trouble?” aaAaAaAaaAA

- I missed Crowley :)

- “the stench of that Impala’s all over your overcoat angel.” FUCK MAN

- “I still considered myself the Winchester’s guardian. After all they taught me how to stand up, what to stand for.” AAaaAaAAaAaaAaA

- the way Cas’s voice is so determined but also shaking when Crowley threatens Sam and Dean?? 😭 Mr. Collins I just wanna talk

- Crowley is actually one of the smartest characters on the show

- I FEEL PERSONALLY VICTIMIZED BY DEAN AND CAS LYING TO EACH OTHER

- DEAN DEFENDING CAS IM 🥺😭 he’s gonna feel so betrayed

- “the worst part was Dean trying so hard to be loyal” y’all. People. Look at his face when he’s saying that.

- demon counterpart to Bobby is not as good of an actor as Jim Beaver

- DAMN CAS 😳

- hearing another angel say Cas instead of Castiel is weird

- “freedom is a length of rope and God wants you to hang yourselves with it” what an absolutely metal line

- I love the guy who plays Raphael he’s really good

- “this is Cas guys.” I WILL CRY

- “for a brief moment I was me again.” *relating to Cas intensifies*

- “Superman going to the dark side” bitch you weren’t supposed to say that! Cas you’re smarter than this

- “if you touch a hair on their heads I will tear it all down” AAAAAAA

- OH THIS IS WHERE THE WATCHING DEAN RAKE LEAVES THING IS FROM

- “I’m an Angel, you ass.” Cas and Crowley interactions are *chef’s kiss*

- “submit or die, what are you French?” ASHGJKAJKL

- Castiel stop Castiel stop Castiel stopppp

- damnnn Crowley is good at this

- Dean so clearly and desperately not wanting to hurt Cas will haunt me

UM EXCUSE ME THIS IS ILLEGAL 🤧

- Sam makes a good point though...

- “where were you when I needed to hear it?” “I was there. Where were you?” I AM OFFICIALLY CRYING

- Cas telling Sam, Dean, and Bobby to run and Dean stopping at the door to look back at him is actually something that can be so romantic personal

- “you know the difference between you and me? I know what I am. What are you Castiel?” OKAY

- “hello Dean.” I’m in pain. I’m in a lot of pain.

- “I’m doing this for you Dean. I’m doing this because of you.” Just thinking about that post that’s like There are a lot of ways to say ‘I love you.’

- “next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family.” 😣

- last picture I swear but SIR

- Cas desperately asking for a sign is going to be the thing that kills me

- sorry that was really long but I had a lot of thoughts

[shallowseeker]

I just wanted to say that I love how you talk about John? I noticed in the scene where Cas is resurrected, there's not only a coffin in the background but a deer head with horns. Do you think that this is a John motif? The absent father.

Thank you. I think people have warmed to my John fascination, maybe.

I'm not SUPER fresh on this motif in my head, but thank you for pointing this out... think I'll watch for this symbol more often now.

//

So, yeah. You're right! I think this ep (5x01) is one of the earliest times Cas gets flanked by the horned God symbol... I agree it's a John motif, though this is by no means a symbol unique to John.

I think its appearance here dovetails nicely with Cas's enhanced expectations post-Fall (like healing Bobby, for example).

///

Re: horned symbols.

I think most of the characters get associated with this horned-God symbol at various times, especially the hunters when they're hunting.

If memory serves, there are a lot of ram horns, deer horns, goat horns, bull amulets, sitting on bull couches (99 Problems & Tombstone come to mind).

///

But I can think of a few instances where Cas gets flanked very prominently with father-god-horns. Even when he's feeling pretty powerless, like in Reading is Fundamental.

///

Cas also seems prominently associated with Foreign Gods at times, perhaps because, at heart, he is a "Protector from a different family," like a Spouse.

Cas's Buddhist symbols fit nicely with the idea of a "Prince Deciding to Fall into Lower Class/Mortality."

///

But horns.

We see John with father-horns when he's watching over Sam and Dean in s1:

John even has other motifs of protectorship, like THE CHAIR. He sits in this chair as his family sleeps, watchful to the point of unhinged paranoia.

///

But the idealized father-God is supposed to worship and protect the family he loves, not become a Tyrant. He should be a Servant, nourishing the family and adoring/worshipping the ones he's supposed to protect.

(Which is sort of... the whole deal with the angels and their mission, really.)

HESTER: When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost! For that, you're going to pay. HESTER walks towards DEAN, intending to KILL. Cas gets in between HESTER and DEAN. CASTIEL: Please. They're the ones we were put here to protect.

Or even Naomi: "Our mission was to protect what God created. I don't know when we forgot that."

///

He should be willing to bleed for them, not just demand their blood for the Greater Good/War Effort.

VS.

(Think of Aslan in C.S. Lewis's stories, letting his mane be shaved to protect his loved ones. That's the ideal.)

///

As for absent fathers. Yes, I think that swirls around John and the horned-god symbols. Of course.

And yeah, the absent father-protector motif works for Cas a lot too. But my fave motif for Cas is actually the concept of the mythological Artifical Husband. This is the husband who springs from the Cosmic world to step in and carry out "Fatherly" duties in the New Household.

Cas's coat represents the artificial materials that he sprung from, also representing the role Dean wants him to live with him as. (Note: Dean wasn't alone in this. Cas really zones in on the co-Father role in 10 and beyond.)

There are Russian tales I like for this, too - I like the idea of Cas's overcoat representing his and Dan's mutual longing FOR a spouse,. The coat embodies both the idea of the Artificial Husband and the royal/kingly/soldierly/spousal nature of Cas's motifs.

At first, the Artificial Husband is "not real," but he "becomes real" through the mortal's longing for him, causing him to undergo a transformational change. ("You changed me, Dean.")

The Artificial/Divine Husband undergoes a "Civilizing Process" initiated by the Mortal Spouse, and that's how he becomes a proper Cosmic Spouse. (Cheekily, this is why Chastity the sex worker was named Chastity. Aside// I think too of Enkidu/wildman becoming Civilized through sex with a sex priestess in Epic of Gilgamesh. The idea of mortal = virginity has perhaps become warped over time because there's some evidence to suggest that it wasn't rooted in "being untouched" so much as it was about youth/growth/new experiences/springtime.")

Cas becomes "more human" through his connection to Dean. We see this with the mark of the handprint representing humanity.

///

Cas also embodies the Animal Bridgegroom. This motif comes across as early as Pamela, who gets her eyes burnt out because she can't look at Cas.

I think it even works in s6, when Bobby and Sam urge Dean to reveal Cas's true nature and mechanations, ultimately culminating in them working with Death to kill Cas.

Then Cas becomes the Lost Husband, fleeing from Dean, and Dean has to go through many Purgatory trials and seek out new supernatural allies in order to reach him.

"When Cas first laid on a hand on you in Hell, he was Lost!"

Cas gets Lost a lot. Lost in battle, lost in war, lost in paranoia and overprotective overpreparedness, dead again, lost memory, lost sanity...

Don't even get me started on how "recognizing each other" and "amnesia" swirl around Dean-Cas with regard to the divinity-humanity marriage motif. Or how Dean's dubious consent loss/loss of free will/inhibitions gets him spirited away by Hell-Kings and Cosmic Darknesses.

So, yeah, I think there's a lot of mileage for Cas as "absent father," but there's even more mileage for him as the Lost Husband.

[baby1967impala]

I still watch and love SPN, even after that shitshow ending

Actually, I do. The finale doesn’t define the characters. I despise what they did to my boys but I still love watching them have little moments and jokes. Like: Hey, little big man? I like nougat. Why is 8 afraid of 7? I like bacon. Talking to a messenger of God on a cell phone. It’s, you know, like watching a hells angle ride a mo-ped. This isn’t funny, Dean. The voice says I’m almost out of minutes!

I'd rather have you, cursed or not.

Please don't kill me, I'm in advanced placement!

Well, I'll be the son of a whore.

The stench of that impala's all over your overcoat angel.

If there is anything worth dying for, this is it.

You didn't need the feather to fly, you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo.

I was the best of those sons of bitches!

They ate my tailor!

There's no such thing as fifth base.

Bollox.

I am not a hammer, as you say. I have doubts.

I would give anything not to have you do this.

We need you. I need you.

You have a guinea pig? Where!?

I like cocaine.

What a peculiar thing you are.

I learned that from the pizza man.

Cas, I hope you can hear me.

I need you here man.

What makes a story work?

I would like to kill him slowly.

I am like two feet from you.

Fight the fairies!

Do you have bigger cups?

Dean, it's not broken!

Dean, he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known.

Too damn long.

I'm your huckleberry.

I heard your prayer.

I love you.

I cannot help but think about moments like the ones above, and not feel a sense of warmth. These things happened, these are the moments that matter to me because in my mind, Dean and Cas are married and raising their son and they are happy.

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 6

[Season 4; Season 5] Man, this season... an emotional rollercoaster

Episode 3:

Cas admits he and Dean "share a more profound bond." (15:35) uuuhmm okay

"You think I came because you called?" (16:31) cut to "I always come when you call" later on in E21

"When a claim is laid on a living sould, it leaves a mark, a brand." ... like a handprint maybe? (22:33) Cas basically called dibs on Dean and admits it

Dean, I get it, Cas looks hot when he fights, but you don't have to look at him like this (24:42)

The amount of eye-fucking in this scene (25:56) almost 30 seconds (of Dean checking out Cas) of Old married coupleTM moments. Dean is worried about Cas dying again by the hands of an archangel. He just got attacked and wants to go out. But Cas has to go save the universe from a holy war. Basically a wife asking her soldier husband not to leave for the war.

[(26:28-26:30) Dean was totally looking at the BOOTY]

NOW FOR THE JUICY STUFF: Cas and Balthazar obviously had a history. More than brothers or war buddies. We could parallel them to Dean and Lisa: both old flames coming back after a long time and all.

Also, Balthazar can sense something is going on between Cas and Dean. It's so clear he can (35:26). ICWAW, we would assume Balthazar was an ex, getting jealous over Cas' new love interest

Episode 6:

"You asked me to be here, and I came", OH what about the whole 'I don't come because you call' thing? (13:40)

How domestic is this moment. Cas pouring Dean a drink, trying to comfort him (14:03). He hates seeing Dean like this, and hates even more the fact he can't do anything about it

Cas knows Dean is hurt enough already, and doesn't want to get him involved with a war that's not his to fight (14:20), but still wants to help

Episode 7:

Second time Cas starts stripping in front of Dean and he just stares (2:32)

Look, all I'm saying is... they really don't have to stand THAT CLOSE to each other (4:07)

Episode 9:

[Not a destiel moment but Dean struggling to say the words "gay guy" is too fucking funny to me (33:45)]

Episode 10:

Dean, will you not check out the angel in front of your brother, please? (11:54)

Dean is visibly uncomfortable at Cas watching porn practically NEXT to him, and having a BONER practically next to him. Understandable, but still... kinda gay (15:58) Look at Dean's face, my God (16:07)

[I'm screaming Dean looks like he's wondering what it'd be like to kiss Cas (25:29)]

"CAS?!" (26:23) the way Dean gets progressively more worried about Cas fading/being taken away and shit, kills me

[Cas is so fucking confused as to why Dean would suggest he'd let him have an hour alone with Meg (39:25), either that or he's embarrassed he might've actually wanted to. Meg and Castiel were cute together]

"If there's anything we can do-" "There isn't. I wish circumstances were different. *stares at Dean with puppy eyes* Much of the time, I'd rather be here." (39:46)

Also, Dean stares at Cas for 15 seconds, but averts his eyes when saying "We're your friends"? (40:01) Denial? Something's off. ICWAW, this would indicate tension, unspoken feelings

Just... the way Dean looks at Cas, and when he flies away (40:17) HIS EYES

Episode 11:

Balth jokingly calls Cas Sam's 'boyfriend', and Sam reacts normally, letting it fly over his head. When later in episode 17, Balth calls Cas "the angel in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you", Dean gets pissy. Just like later in 10x5. Touchy much? (13:48)

Balth admits he doesn't like Dean, and that "screwing him would delight me", but calls the one brother who threatened to crisp his wings, a "capable young man" (14:46). Jealous much? ICWAW we would read some sort of romantic rivalry between those two.

Episode 14:

This face... where have I seen this face before?

Oh yes, here

Dean looks at Lisa, the so called "love of his life", the same way he looks at Cas. Fuck my life

Episode 15:

"Cas" (Misha) starts stripping and Dean... stares... again (9:23)

"Well, Cas... now that you have your sword, try not to die by it." (39:53) Is it a saying? Or a reference to Dean being Michael's Sword? As in "He is gonna be the death of you"? And Balth looks at Cas THAT WAY?! (40:01) You can't tell me there was nothing between these two. Kill me now

Fucking stop being an old bitching married coupleTM already (40:25) you are hurting me

Episode 17:

Balth 'jokes' about Cas being in love with Dean (18:48) ICWAW we would read this as an ex being petty about the new love interest and teasing said love interest about it

Wow, jealous much, Dean? Again, ICWAW, this would totally be seen as jealousy for your crush's ex (27:30). And Dean, you're staring at Cas' lips again (27:37)

[Sam: "So, you killed 50,000 people for us?" Cas: *looks at Dean* "... No, I didn't... They were never born." (37:49) This is so stupid, but... sure, Cas... sure. That's what you ment.]

Cas makes a small speech about fighting for freedom, choosing your fate and all, while looking at Dean (38:55). OKAY SUBTEXT!!!

[As soon as Dean mentions boobs, Cas is gone (39:36) LOL]

Episode 19:

"It's not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude's busy. [...] Cas, get out of my ass!!!" "I was never in... your-" (4:28) and then they stare... Were you having unholy thoughts guys?

"Without your power you're basically just a baby in a trench coat" #MARRIED (10:38), "My friend is very sick." "I have a, uh... painful burning sensation." OH COME ON!!! (11:22)

"You know who whines? Babies. *pats Castiel*" (14:28) I'm sorry, pats him wHERE??!!

Dean saves Cas again (19:38)

The way Cas says "Dean, Dean!" (23:09)... I'm so fucking weak, and look at those EYES! (23:41) kill me now

"The kid... The little kid, he's one of them." "... Unbelievable." "Yeah, I know, Cas. You told me, all right?" (37:48) #MARRIED

Sam and Bobby immediately think Cas might be betraying them (39:31), while Dean won't even immagine the possibility. "This is Cas we're talking about!" (39:52)

Episode 20:

Even tho Dean can sense something is off with Cas, he won't bring himself to admit it. And the eye-car-sex. That. (4:44-4:53)

"You're distracted. [...] Is that all you're holding, huh? See... the stench of that Impala's all over your overcoat, angel." (6:20) this has such sexual undertones. ICWAW, it would be MENT as having sexual undertones. Also Crowley ships it

Dean protects Cas even tho clear evidence is there, and even feels bad about lying to him (12:06). And Cas feels oh so bad about Dean trying to be loyal to him, even when he was starting to suspect (13:18)

Dean still refuses to acknowledge the possibility of Cas' betrayal (19:56). His speech about Cas... I'm weak. "He broke ranks, gone to the mat, cut and bleeding for us, so many frigging times. This is Cas!" (20:10). ICWAW, this would be read as Dean having feelings for Cas, and as those feelings were getting in the way of his best judgment

Cas goes against the King of Hell to save the boys... but Dean first (21:48), and Dean defendes him against Bobby and Sam, apologizing for doubting about him. Cas hates having to break their trust

The look on Dean's face as he realizes Cas had been lying the whole time... BROKEN (23:35-23:49)

Cas doesn't want Dean to have to sacrifice more than he already had for him (25:19), and when Crowley shows up, Cas' first instinct is to look back at Dean protectively (25:30), and does that again before following Crowley (26:17)

Cas wants Dean to be happy, stay retired, even tho he was so longingly looking at him moments earlier (29:09)

"You gotta look at me, man. [...] Look me in the eye and tell me you're not working with Crowley." (32:38) the absolute desperation in both Dean and Cas, how HURT they look. THEIR EYES! Dean looks devastated

"I did it to protect you, I did it to protect all of you!" (33:09) one of the many "you, all of you" no-homo saves Cas pulls while talking to/about Dean

"I had no choice!" "No, you had a choice... You just made the wrong one." (34:21) how fucking hurt Dean looks. "Where were you when I needed to hear it?" THE EYES

"I was there... Where were you? *flashback to Cas looking back at Dean*" I'M DEAD

"It's not too late. Damn it, Cas. We can fix this!" "Run. You have to run, now. RUN!" (35:33) and they do, but Dean looks back at Cas, and the way they look at each other... STOP (35:47-35:52) ICWAW, this whole scene would seem like someone trying to save their loved one, and OH boy, that stare exchange would seem either a silent confession or a reminder of their feelings for the other

Cas visits Dean in the night, even tho they clearly don't trust him and don't want him there, and Dean leaves it be (38:06), and even apologizes for having to angel-proof the house against him

#MARRIED (38:28), "I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you." (38:35) ICWAW... do I even need to point this out?

"Next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest thing I have to family..." the look on Cas' face as Dean says this (39:15) "... that you are like a brother to me." did Cas' eyes just get more glossy? Poor baby. Also, ICWAW, by the way they interact, this statement would feel wrong on so many levels

"You're just a man. I'm an angel." ... why does it feel like Cas is telling that to himself more than to Dean? (39:43) "I'm sorry, Dean." (39:55) Kill me

Cas questions his decisions, asks God for guidance, the moment he understood he hurt Dean. He doesn't want to hurt Dean, but will do what he has to do to if it means he will be safe

Episode 21:

[Not a destiel moment, but "fragile masculinity" much, Dean? (4:20) "I was too busy having sex with women." (why do you feel the need to specify 'women'?)]

This Dean-Balth bickering has such current-former love interest fight vibes (8:52). Come on, ICWAW, this would totally be the case

Here's another Cas/Lisa parallel: how Dean acts here, looking for Ben and Lisa (13:11), and how he acts in S8 while looking for Castiel ("WHERE'S THE ANGEL!?")

Cas saves Dean again (21:46). "I didn't ask for your help." "Well, regardless. You're welcome." #MARRIED

They are both on the verge of tears... "I thought you said that we were like family." (22:22) They hate this situation. They hate not being like always, close, friendly, family

"Dean... I do everything that you ask... I always come when you call. And I am your friend." (22:39) the way he says 'Dean' and how his voice trembles. Dean is basically almost crying now (23:45)

"Dean, I said I'm sorry and I ment it." "Thank you... I wish this changed anything..." "I know.. So do I." (37:45)

[Alright. I do believe Dean really grew to love Lisa during that year they spent together, but I don't buy the "I always loved you, ever since that one hook up on that one weekend we knew each other for" shit. Dean wanted to give a try to the whole 'apple pie life' he'd promised Sam, with a good woman he knew Dean had feelings for.

If he grew to love Lisa over a couple of years after 1 hook up, I'm sure he could do the same thing for Cas after over a decade (he for sure would have already If Cas Were A Woman)]

Episode 22:

["You've always got little old me." "Yes... I'll always have you." (30:26) These two... Come on, they HAD to be ex lovers!]

"We were family once. I'd have died for you. I almost did a few times (Cas did actually, twice). So if that means anything to you... Please... I've lost Lisa, I've lost Ben, and now I've lost Sam... Don't make me lose you too." (39:55) ICWAW, this would be seen as a straight up CONFESSION

The hurtful look on Dean's face when Cas says "You're not my family, Dean.", and the terror when he thought for a second that Sam might have killed him (40:39)

["You will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord... or I shall destroy you." ... okay, Cas, honey, I get you are tired of waiting, but this is not the right way to get a confession out of Dean (41:20)]

[Season 7>>]

[lifblogs]

#SPNAdventCalendar2020 | The one with the dancing. | @bend-me-shape-me

READ ON AO3

Sure, Castiel didn’t really have money, but with Charlie’s proved and patented method of, according to Dean, “liberating money from assholes,” he’d illegally wired money into a fake account with the name Sam Novak. (Dean didn’t think the name was funny.) It seemed hard to keep up with these false identities, especially when there were larger, more important things to take care of, so really, Sam had wired the money for him. He’d told Sam he wanted to do something special for Dean since he knew Christmas would be exceptionally hard for him this year. After promising to keep a secret, he told Sam what it was. His friend just clapped him on the back and assured him that Dean would love it.

With the plan in mind, he’d told Dean that they had to go somewhere for a case, and he came up with a lie that Sam wouldn’t be going with them because of the stuff with Chuck. Dean, as morose as ever, hadn’t even fought with the point.

Actually, he hardly wanted to get into Cas’ truck.

The pain between them, they were working on it. They were back to holding each other, and Cas just staring and staring, unable to not see anything but how beautiful Dean was. He regularly felt Dean’s eyes on him as well. Castiel knew what he wanted to say to this one, perfect, glorious human, but he knew he didn’t reciprocate. Still, it didn’t mean he couldn’t try to let him know how he felt.

When he pulled up to the diner, all the lights were still on. Though, there weren’t any cars in the parking lot. Good, just as Castiel had requested.

Dean climbed out of the truck, surveying the area. “Really? The case is right here?”

Cas tried to lie, and gave a very deadpan, monotone, “Yes.”

Dean frowned at him, and Cas started walking towards the diner, knowing Dean would follow on instinct.

“Dude, that was a terrible ‘yes.’ It didn’t even have any conviction.” Castiel was just nodding along with what he was saying as he opened the door, and led Dean inside. “When you’re lying, you gotta tell yourself that you believe it, and make the other person think you do.”

Castiel just rolled his eyes. Dean hadn’t turned and looked yet.

“What?”

So, Castiel took Dean by the shoulders and he forced him to turn around. Dean gasped at what he saw. The diner was empty, only a few lights lit to give the wooden, rustic interior a soft, pleasing aesthetic quality. Christmas lights were up around the room as well, all colorful, giving the room a beautiful glow.

Dean looked at the empty diner.

Cas looked at Dean.

“We’re not here for a case, are we?” Dean eventually surmised.

Castiel took his arm, and then dragged his hand down, till he was clasping questioningly at Dean’s wrist. He felt Dean’s pulse jump, and his friend looked down to where their hands were. He swallowed roughly.

With his other hand, Cas snapped his fingers in the direction of the jukebox sitting along the far wall. It lit up, and then the machine started playing. Led Zeppelin poured out of the speakers.

“Shall we?” Castiel asked.

Dean looked at him, eyes wide. Oh no, Castiel had messed this up. Of course, Dean didn’t want to. But he could feel the end coming, feel it coming for all them, and last Christmas Dean had been possessed by the archangel Michael. Castiel just absolutely had to do one good thing for Dean before their end or it would tear him apart. It would be worse than his own actual death.

Dean again looked down to where their hands were nearly clasped, and then he was the one who slid his hand into Cas’ so that they fit perfectly. He squeezed, as if reassuring the both of them that this was real. Dean cleared his throat, cheeks pink, and pulled Castiel in to him. Cas was content with letting Dean take the lead on this. Besides, Castiel worried that if he took the lead he’d somehow become too intense, that he’d show Dean how much he loved him, and he would do so rather violently.

That was what his love was like at times, and what it had been at first. Violent. Mostly because Castiel hadn’t really understood it. How was an angel supposed to love anyway?

As far as he knew, they weren’t. Yes, they were capable of having sexual desires, and Castiel was prone to those, even with the lonely nights without Dean. But to love? Surely it had been an impossibility, and yet, here he was.

For now, he relaxed as Dean put a hand at his back, going to take the lead. Castiel hesitantly put a hand at Dean’s waist.

Dean tensed at first, made some sort of rough grumbling that could’ve been words, but then Castiel looked at him, keeping his look entirely honest, and sincere. He couldn’t tell Dean what he was feeling, but perhaps, in some way, he could show him.

Dean seemed to relax at seeing Castiel’s easy smile, and he started to lead them in a dance through the open area in the middle of the diner. It wasn’t a good dance. None of them really knew how to do it, but soon, they were clasping hands, arms in close to each other, their bodies touching together as they swayed to the music.

Then, Dean started doing a motion Castiel hadn’t anticipated. Though humans weren’t strong enough to move angels, he let himself be moved. He ended up in a spin, his overcoat puffing out in the air behind him. When he was pulled back in to Dean, they were both grinning.

“This is really nice, Cas,” Dean said as they drew even closer now, foreheads nearly pressed together.

“I wanted to do something for you,” he said. “Last year was… bad, for lack of a better word, and this year—”

Dean shook his head, biting his bottom lip. “No, don’t talk about it. Don’t—don’t ruin this.”

“Of course, Dean.”

They danced and they danced, the room seeming to fall away, and there was just the way they held each other.

They paused, Dean puffing air out through his cheeks, and Castiel could smell his exhaustion. After all, it was very late at night.

Cas wanted to speak, wanted to let this feeling last forever, but he worried that if he spoke, the moment would break, it would reveal itself to be just another one of God’s deluded stories. It wouldn’t be real. Yet, he wanted to speak, wanted to open his mouth and share his heart with Dean.

To his surprise, Dean opened his mouth, pressing his forehead to Castiel’s. “You know, Cas, you’re the first person in years who’s been able to make me feel special. Like I—like I matter.”

“You do matter,” Castiel insisted.

Dean raised his eyes to Cas’.

“And that’s what I’m talking about. You’re there for me, even when—even when I don’t know how to be there for you. And god, Cas, I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry.”

“Just be with me,” Castiel pleaded. “In this moment, right here. Just be with me.”

“Okay,” Dean replied. He took in a deep breath, and Castiel could smell the strength in his emotions, even as worry pulsed through them. He could smell a resolve coming through them, sense that Dean had come to a decision of some sort. “Okay,” he said again, voice softer this time.

Before Castiel knew what was happening, Dean had pressed his lips to his. The kiss wasn’t a demand, or a profound releasing of emotions. It was a vulnerable question.

When Dean pulled back, all Castiel could do was stare, slack-jawed. Dean lowered his head, shaking it, cheeks all red.

“God, I shouldn’t have done that. I really shouldn’t have done that.”

Dean loved him back.

“I’m sorry. Cas,” he continued rambling, “can you please—?”

Castiel grabbed the back of Dean’s head and pulled him into a kiss. He had wanted to be soft and slow with Dean, but even now, he could feel their time running out. There would be no soft and slow. In a matter of seconds in which they tried their best to learn each other, to know each other, the kiss turned abrasive, desperate.

Dean had to pull back for breath, and Cas took the time to suck on his bottom lip before releasing it.

“Cas,” Dean breathed, words rough, filled to the brim with unsaid emotion.

Perhaps kissing Dean again would let them both tell each other those emotions, to do so with their bodies. Castiel wanted to, but for now, he just wanted to hold Dean, and let it sink in that he surely felt the same way. Castiel pulled him close, putting a hand to the small of Dean’s back, and they danced. They danced till the stars faded from the sky, and the sun spread dawn over the horizon.

They danced until they both knew that they loved each other.

Tag list: @evilwriter37, @thenightwolf732, @fanola-draws.

Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

You are the one in my heart (Part I)

(11x11/11x12)

Hello my friends! Here we go again with another meta about season 11!

This time I'm gonna talk about the way this season makes us see that Dean is in love with Castiel and the angel being the only one in his heart. To talk more thoroughly about this, I divided the topic into two parts.

I want to say thank you to @destielle for beta reading this for all of you! Thank you girl! 💕

Get it out of my head!

Just a little thought about this quote that was repeated several times by several characters in episode 11x11 'Into The Mystic'. Of course they referred to the Banshee, but it was clearly a mirrored description of what was going on with Castiel, at that time possessed by Lucifer.

Cas left when Lucifer occupied his vessel, but while Sam openly worries about him, Dean confronts Sam and us with his trust in Cas and him disappearing… 'Cas is always fine!' 

He was so embedded into his drama with Amara that he had no time for additional worries. And Cas was always fine... Right?

This momentum is important because of the drastic change we will see in Dean’s stance on this after he discovers that Castiel is possessed by Lucifer. From then on he won’t rest until he is able to rescue him. His priorities will change and Amara will drop lower, behind Cas, on the list. But we will talk about this in the upcoming metas.

Oak Park and Broken Hearts

I need to talk about the two songs in the beginning of the episode: they're extremely romantic, talking about two lovers and how they meet again. So… these may be just little hints of Castiel coming back to Dean after being possessed. 

But let's jump to The Residence Oak Park. We meet Mildred, I know, but there's another interesting character, named Arthur. Arthur is the man in charge of the residence, but the reason why he sleeps at this place is because he separated from his wife. He starts talking about it with Dean, and it’s obvious he got his heart broken. He says this sentence to Dean…

ARTHUR: I should have sent the heart. I can be so stupid.

The meaning behind this? He regrets how they broke up over phone, but even more that he didn’t do more to keep her by his side. And these regrets are exactly the same Dean will be struggling with after discovering that Cas was in fact Lucifer the whole time. Maybe he should've paid more attention to what was going on with Cas, acting so weird… but because Cas is always okay, as he claimed... and with Amara on his mind, worrying him a lot, he just couldn't see it.

When Arthur is killed by the Banshee, we encounter through Mildred that he had a heart condition (valves issues), so we, as the audience, connect that bit to the symbolism of the broken heart. This also applies to Mildred herself when she says she has Atrial Fibrillation, another cardiac pathology.

So… why wanted the Banshee to kill Dean? What made Dean vulnerable? Also his heart! It was broken by his encounter with Castiel (Casifer) in the bunker!

Don't use me as bait

Before jumping to Casifer’s and Dean's scene, I want to point out how blatantly the writers helped us seeing the subtext.

First of all they made the Winchesters talk about broken hearts. Because they needed us to see that case revolving around that topic.

Secondly, after Dean and Casifer had their moment, Dean was very offended by the thought of Sam wanting to use Mildred as bait. Why? 

Because writers wanted us to see that what Cas inquired to Dean was to make him act as the bait to catch Amara. And that was the cause of Dean's vulnerability and broken heart… he thought Cas was asking him to play the bait, thus putting him recklessly in danger. His Cas, who always had been loyal to him and who would never hurt him, always took care of him even. It broke Dean’s heart, because he thought Castiel didn't love him the way he did. Again, the shadow of the unrequited love…

And that’s said scene:

Dean enters the bunker and finds Casifer searching for something, looking disheveled with rolled-up sleeves and no overcoat, especially without his trenchcoat. It’s an odd sight of the angel. And rightfully so, because it’s not the real Cas…

After this they start talking about Amara…

DEAN: Yeah, I know. Saying you're gonna kill is one thing, but... Actually doing it's something totally different.

LUCIFER/CAS: What do you mean?

DEAN: I've had two shots at Amara. I struck out both times.

LUCIFER/CAS: What are you talking about?

DEAN: I don't even know where to start.

LUCIFER/CAS: Dean... Tell me everything.

Lucifer found something that sparked his interest: why isn’t Dean Winchester able to kill or harm Amara? So he plays the concerned friend right here to gather more information from Dean.

DEAN: I tried to kill her.

LUCIFER/CAS: Well, the two of you are connected somehow by the Mark.

DEAN: Yeah, no, it's, uh... It's more than that.

LUCIFER/CAS: Attraction? Oh, Dean.

Gif set credit @starlightcastiel

DEAN: I know. I know. Okay? Whatever it is, a... Attraction, connection... I got to tell you, man, it scares me. I don't know that I can stop it. I don't know that I can resist it.

Dean defines his issue with Amara with the word ATTRACTION, but he doesn't know exactly what it is, because he can't control it. Because it’s a dark force that drags him to her. So he doesn't know what it is, but he knows what it’s not (I will talk about this in the next meta). So, Dean is terrified… he doesn't like it. 

Lucifer is lucky because he can use this against Amara, but he tries anyways to act like a comprehensive friend… but he fails… his first mistake is to place his hand on Dean's right shoulder (and that's when Dean looks at him suspiciously) because that's not Castiel's shoulder (profound bond shoulder).

And after this Lucifer says those unlucky words that will break Dean's heart, proning him to become a Banshee's victim.

Gif set credit @starlightcastiel

LUCIFER/CAS: Hey, it scares me, too. But we will find out what this is, I promise. In the end, it may help draw her out. This could be a good thing.

Dean looks at him hurt and confused. Why does Cas want to use him as bait? Doesn't he care about him? 

Dean is pining for Castiel

Gif credit @demondetoxmanual

Mildred was introduced in this particular episode as a wise character, with Dean she talks about watching sunsets and FOLLOWING YOUR HEART. Dean listens to her, and really reflects on those words as we will see in the final episodes of this season, when he follows his heart trying to rescue Castiel from Lucifer despite the main plan. It will be a war decision, more accurate in the circumstances, revealing he never changed his mind and will and has always put Castiel first, because Castiel comes first in Dean’s heart.

Another interesting and wise observation Mildred made about Dean, and writers were very specific to make us see it, is the following…

MILDRED: Darlin'... If there's one thing I've learned in all my years on the road, it's when somebody's pining for somebody else.

[Dean smirks]!!!!! Oh, don't try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember? I don't know who the lucky lady is, but I am damn sure jealous.

Mildred saw it, just like the banshee, Dean is pining for someone. The lucky one that has his heart however is not Amara, we know that Dean is afraid of her and he knows it’s not love that he feels for her. But Dean smiles nonetheless… he smiles, because Mildred found out. Yes. He is in love. Yes, he is pining for someone. And it’s a very hot, blue eyed and winged man. 

A little Destiel mirror

Just a couple of words about episode 11x12, we have Alex here with a boyfriend that turned out to be a vampire ( a monster) which she didn't know about before.

Pay attention to this dialogue after Alex finds out her boyfriend is a monster.

ALEX: (To Henry) Nothing? None of it was real?

HENRY: Seriously Al? You were a complete freak! I mean, you were an angry loner, creeping around the school like some kind of trench coat mafia?

CLAIRE: You're gonna burn in hell, you sociopath.

HENRY: (Still looking at Alex) I could never date someone like you.

It’s a switched mirror, Alex represents Castiel now, and the disappointment of being rejected will come at the end of the season when Dean calls Cas their Brother. Oh yes, the car scene… and the coward We/Us speech… my heart.

To Conclude:

Mildred served as a channel to show us Dean is pining for Castiel, delivering an advise Dean will follow once he finds out Cas is in danger.

Dean had his heart broken because of Cas (Casifer), drowning again in the idea that his love is unrequited.

Alex/Henry relationship was a switched Destiel mirror and a premonition of the "rejection" Castiel will feel when Dean calls him a BROTHER later on.

I hope you enjoyed this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From s11, here you have the links Vol. LXII, LXIII, LIV.

Buenos Aires, June 9th 2020 3:17 PM

[thekingslover]

Hey ! If. It can help : for destiel, something about cooking together.

(so they don’t cook together so much as bake separately but lol. thank you dear :))

It’s just cupcakes. Some eggs and flour. Dash of milk. Lots of sugar.

Except its not just cupcakes. It’s war.

Dean is so, so tired of losing the neighborhood bake-off to the nerdy guy next door. The one with the too-blue eyes who frequently saunters into Dean’s nighttime (and daytime) fantasies wearing nothing but an apron with bees for pockets. An apron hot neighbor Castiel actually owns, he wore it to the bake-off last year. Dean hates that apron. Just like he hates Castiel.

But this year will be different. Dean’s been practicing for months, looking up recipes online, testing them on Sam. He’s close - really close - to baking perfection.

Today he’s elbow deep in batter for classic vanilla. He’s already whipped up some rainbow icing for on top; it’s in the fridge. He’s about to pour the batter into the cupcake tray when the doorbell rings.

Dean lowers the bowl back to the counter, cleans off his hands on a towel, and heads for the door. He throws it open.

Castiel stands there in a dirty old overcoat, button-up shirt, and a tie. The tie’s lopsided, just like the smile on his face. He has a cupcake container under one arm. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean narrows his eyes. “Evening, Cas.”

“I was wondering...” Castiel offers him a wobbly smile. His gaze drops. “Maybe you’d like to...” He clears his throat. “I brought these cupcakes, and I thought maybe you would like to share?”

“Share?”

“With me. It’s, um, a beautiful evening. We could sit on the porch and... Why are you looking at me like that?”

Dean juts a finger at him. “I know what this is.”

“You do?”

“I sure do. And it’s not going to work on me.”

Castiel’s smile slips. “It isn’t?”

Dean starts to feel bad, seeing Cas frown, but no. Castiel is the one who should feel bad, coming here just to spy.

Cas clutches the cupcake container against his chest. “I apologize. I knew Sam was mistaken.”

Sam! The betrayal runs deep.

Cas continues, “You’d never be into a guy like me.”

“That’s right! I...” Wait. “What...?”

Cas starts to turn, and no. Oh, no. No, no. Dean grabs his arm.

“Cas?” Dean swallows hard. “Are you trying to scope out my cupcake recipe?”

Cas tilts his head, just slightly, to one side. “Dean.” He’s looking at Dean like he’s a puzzle missing a few pieces. “I am asking you on a date.” He says it like it’s so simple. Maybe it is.

“Oh.” Dean crosses his arms. He re-evaluates. He thinks about Cas in that apron again, with bees for pockets. Maybe that wasn’t the rage fantasy he suspected. Maybe it was just hot. “Okay.”

Cas smiles, wider than before. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Dean says. “But don’t think I’ll go easy on you at the bake-off.”

“Of course, Dean.”

Cas’s cupcakes are delicious. They taste even better from Cas’s tongue.

Dean loses the bake-off, but he keeps trying. “One day I’ll get you,” he says, arms around Cas, face in the crook of Cas’s neck.

“Dean. You’ve had me from the start.”

[snarkymonkeyprime]

@magic-ramen​, I managed to dredge up the beginnings of that constantine!destiel!au.  I PRESENT IT TO YOU NOW.  :D

  Castiel wasn't quite clear on what he was doing any longer.  Since meeting Desmond, he'd been wandering in a haze, following along after the man like an obedient dog.  All that felt real was the man's voice, all silken softness.  It curled inside him, pulling him one way and then another.  Back at his home, he sighed, fingers nerveless as Desmond licked his neck.  It felt . . . odd.  Not sensual.  Not erotic.  Dark and foul.  He tried to rouse but the heaviness only doubled, his vision wavering.  Had he really drunk that much?

He tried to recall but the night’s events were a blank. He didn’t even remember how he’d met Desmond.  Or where. All he knew was Desmond.

"What's this?" Desmond asked, tapping the notepad opened on Castiel's desk.

Head moving like an automaton, it took Castiel a moment to ponder what he asked.  His dream journal.  A silly idea he'd kept with since high school.  "Dream," he murmured.  He wanted more of Desmond's touch.  Not the questions.  Right?  That didn't sound correct but he couldn't parse why.

"Dreams?"  Desmond licked his neck again, dragging sharp teeth along hot skin.  Something wet dribbled down Castiel’s neck.  "What dreams, little Castiel?"

Castiel's fingers fell from Desmond and he sagged, feeling an arm cold as iron around his back.  "A man," he rasped.  "And light.  It calls to me."  

Why couldn't he see any longer?  His den was well lit, wasn't it?  Why did nothing but shadow come back?  "I . . . it calls me.  He calls me."

Desmond's fingers pierced his arm, hot like pokers.  He might have screamed, if his mouth worked.  Maybe he did scream.  

"Who is he?" Desmond demanded.  His voice no longer warmed Castiel with passion.  It stung like ice, harsh and vile.

"Dunno," he admitted, slurring.  The only consistency had been the man’s appearance.  Tall, brown hair, green eyes.  A shroud of nightmares around him even while he shone like the sun.  And then the light of blue that reached for him.  Cut through the man and tugged at Castiel.  The dreams had begun to plague him following his thirtieth birthday two months prior.  Hadn't stopped since.  Could almost hear the voice during the day.  

A hiss of sound.  A laugh?  "Oh, pretty thing.  You tried so hard this time, didn't you?"  Desmond's tongue burned as it scraped down Castiel's cheek.  "Don't worry, little bird.  I'll make sure you can't feel it when I rip your intestines out."

Desmond’s hand drove into Castiel’s stomach, tearing skin. Castiel grunted, even as blood fell in runnels down his groin and thighs.  Desmond’s hand clenched inside him and only then did he cry out, though it erupted broken and weak.

“At least this time they sent a pretty weapon.”

Castiel sank into shadow, his body leaden, head swollen with darkness.  His head cracked against his desk.  He knew he should fight.  Wanted to fight.  But the will to do so bled out of him like oil, heavy and slick.  And like the clarion call of a hawk, green shattered the shadows.

His body shook in echo of the violent noise that erupted.  Screaming.  Someone screaming, though it gurgled and bubbled.  Something warm and wet spilled down his cheek and he groaned, struggling out from the poisonous weight that pulled at him.  Vision tilted, he saw Desmond; or, rather, what was left of him.  

The lower half of Desmond's face hung crazily, teeth shattered and bone split.  But Desmond, rather than fall, only narrowed vile red eyes.  Though his jaw was nearly gone, Desmond's voice boomed in the bright room.

"You dare?!"

"Yeah, I have that problem sometimes," came a new voice.  The sound of a gun's hammer drawn back.  "You look a little uneven.  Think I should fix that?"  Another blast, shivering through Castiel's very bones.  To his bleary horror, Desmond's ruined jaw lay on Castiel's chest and had he the ability, he would have retched violently.  Instead, he groaned and rolled, falling from the desk Desmond had pinned him to.  Sprawled on the wood floor of his den, he squinted, trying to see the newcomer.

The familiarity cut through his stupor.  Tall.  Brown hair.  Green eyes.  It couldn't be.  Could it?  "It's . . . you," he rasped, his voice little more than a whisper.  Green eyes swung to him, brighter than the lights above.

"Juliet," he called, wariness leaving it sharp, "guard."

A shadow darker than night shifted into Castiel's line of sight.  It reeked of sulfur and stone.  Heat poured off like the burn of smoldering coals.  Twin red eyes, shining like hellfire.  Castiel reached up, touching shadow, feeling a tongue that burned like acid.  He tried to see the man who'd saved him.  To thank him.  But the shadows had returned, softer this time as they crowded around him.  

Castiel swallowed, trying to call out, even as he heard Desmond scream in rage.  The sound of a violent struggle.  All too soon, though, Castiel could hear nothing but a thunderous heartbeat out of the darkness.

~~*~~

When Castiel woke, his gut burned.  He gasped, eyes snapping open only to shut immediately.  Bright, sterile lights.  Glaring walls.  Not his den.  Not his home.

"Mr. Novak?"

An unfamiliar but kind voice.  Castiel tried again, squinting at the speaker.  Tall, brown hair.  Dressed in a suit and overcoat.  The man held out a dark wallet with a badge and shield.  Not the green-eyed man.  He didn’t recognize this one.

"Mr. Novak, I'm Agent Sam Winchester."  He retrieved his badge and tucked it into his overcoat.  Pointing to another man, this one slim and blond, he continued.  "This is my partner, Agent Balthazar Elgin."

Castiel frowned and rasped, "Police?"

Agent Winchester smiled sourly.  "FBI, actually.  Your coworker, Anna, called your attack in.  She apparently stopped by your home this morning when you didn't come to work."

Licking his lips, Castiel continued to furrow his brow.  "Why . . . is the FBI interested . . . in what happened to me?"

Agent Winchester took a deep breath.  "The man who attacked you?  Desmond Reynolds?  He's a wanted serial killer.  You're the first to survive."  He pulled out a small notepad.  "Can you tell me what you remember?"

Shadows.  Fire.  Dreams.  He lifted a hand, dismayed to see an IV rammed into the too-pale skin.  He vaguely remembered being stabbed.  Shot?  He shuddered.  No, this Desmond, had thrust his hand into Castiel's stomach.  His fingers crawled across the clean white sheets.  He could feel thick padding beneath it. How had he survived?

"Mr. Novak?  Desmond was long gone by the time we got there.  He apparently believed you dead."  He cleared his throat.  "Actually, we're lucky Anna found you when she did."

No, that wasn't right.  Someone had been there.  Someone had saved him.  He mumbled as much to the agent.

The man smiled patiently.  "We only found evidence of you and Desmond; and, well, Anna.  No one else was in the home."  He glanced past his partner to the uniformed office that stood in the doorway.  "We have witnesses that saw Desmond intercept your glass at the bar.  We think he drugged you in order to make you his next victim."

It hadn't been that.  Desmond had simply touched him and he'd slipped into a sickly fog.  While in the throes of it he couldn’t recall what had happened, but now, away from the man, he recounted everything.  He’d stopped at a bar for dinner.  Had only stepped inside when Desmond came up to him and touched his hand.  After that, it was as though he watched all that happened from hundreds of miles away.  He could recall with eerie detachment how Desmond had gored him.  He'd fallen against his desk, legs gone.  Blood warm and slick around him.

Castiel opened his mouth to say as much but stopped at the sharp look of warning in the agent's eyes.  He swallowed and shook his head.  "I'm sorry," he husked.  "I can't really remember much."

"Well, I'd say it's a simple case of our lad getting sloppy," Agent Elgin commented.  He smiled at Castiel.  "Lucky for you, you took quite a wound but, not that deep.”  He folded his arms.  “All the same, we do ask you stay in touch, hm?”

Castiel nodded, confused.  “But . . . it wasn’t a knife.”

Balthazar’s eyes sharpened, as though in caution.  “Not a tiny one, no.  Rather large, by my judge.”  

What?  Castiel didn’t protest, however, given the expression on the agent’s face.  “Oh,” he replied, sagging in his bed.

“Dramatic git, I’ll give him that.”  He patted Agent Winchester on the shoulder.  "I'll speak with our darling locals, Sam."  With a flip of the fingers, he slid out the door, taking the officer with him.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Agent Winchester tucked his notepad away and shoved his too-long hair off his forehead.  He looked at Castiel gravely.  “What did he use?”

Castiel shivered, still seeing his own insides in the man’s hands.  “His . . . hand.”

Sam winced.  “Shit. I was afraid of that.”

“How?”

The agent pursed his lips before walking to the door and checking that it remained secure. He ignored Castiels question and asked one of his own.  “You saw him, didn't you?"

"Who?"  Startled by the sudden change, he clenched his fingers atop the blanket.

"Dean.  My brother."

"Your . . ?"

The agent took a seat at Castiel's bedside and rubbed his face.  "Brother," he mumbled.  "Dean.  Tall, like me.  Brown hair.  Green eyes?"  He snorted.  "Smartass loudmouth?"

That definitely rang familiar.  The eyes stuck out for him the most.  He nodded.  Lifting a hand, he waved it around his chin.  "Desmond's jaw . . . was . . . it was gone."

"But he still spoke, didn't he?"

Shivering, Castiel nodded.  "What was he?"

"I don't know what they're called; Dean calls them every name in the book but what they actually are.”  He sighed.  “Balthazar and I were sure Desmond would be one of them; I’m just sorry you had to witness it, too.”

Castiel’s brow furrowed.  “I don’t understand.”

Sam jerked a thumb to the closed door.  “It’s Dean who usually gives us a head’s up on these things; even though he stays away for the most part."  He leaned back, his fingers laced over his stomach.  "He’ll leave a clue of some kind, though, when it's not a normal crime."

That didn’t answer anything.  Why did this agent appear to know what Desmond was?  Why did both of them?  And just what was Dean and the shadow that followed him? "What did he want with me?"  

"You'd have to ask Dean that," Agent Winchester squinted at Castiel.  "Come to think of it, I'm surprised he hasn't shown his face yet.  He's kind of arrogant.  He'd want you to know he saved your ass."  The agent said it with warm amusement, however.

But, Castiel should have been dead.  What had this Dean done to save him?  He remembered, vaguely, dark smoke and brilliant red eyes.  A heavy weight that surrounded him.  The name Juliet.  He rubbed his forehead, trembling again.  "It wasn't human, was it?"

Agent Winchester's humor faded.  He shook his head.  "Maybe at one point?"  He winced.  "Like I said, Dean knows more.  Bal and I do what we can on this end but, he’s not always up front on what these things are.  The most I get is some odd message now and again so that I know he's still kicking."

"Is your brother human?"

Agent Winchester's open countenance immediately closed.  "I think that's enough for today.  I'll check in with you again tomorrow, Mr. Novak."  The man stood and waved a hand.  "We'll have a guard stationed until you're released.  In the meantime, rest."

Castiel watched him go, all the more unsettled.

​