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bananayuyu · 10 hours

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Hopeless Desire - Part 2

Pairing: Yunho x f reader

Genre: smut, fluff, angst

Word count: 9.6k

Summary: You were Mingi's younger sister by six years, and had a crush on his best friend Yunho since you were nine. You harbored this crush for years, never thinking it would go anywhere. Little did you know, Yunho had recently started to feel the same. But you're his best friend's little sister, so what can he do?

Chapter Summary: Mingi finally finds out, not in the way you intended.

Warnings: MDNI, smut, fingering, use of a vibrator, oral (both m and f receiving), some throat fucking, some pet names, more vague mentions of toxic family dynamics, more vague mentions of Mingi having mental health issues, pls lmk if I missed anything!

A/n: Thank you all so much for the feedback on part 1! It means the world to me. This is my first fic that I'm publishing publicly so I am so grateful. I hope you all enjoy <3

All three of you were frozen. Yunho fixed you with a sharp gaze, still clearly confused at your presence. But now you noticed it was changing, his eyes narrowing and head tilting every so slightly in an obvious sign of anger or frustration. You still sat in your chair unmoving; you couldn't help but notice the way his gaze was affecting your body, the way your arms were tingling and your lower stomach fluttering. Anxiety and excitement can feel shockingly similar, sometimes. You couldn't tell which you were feeling.

"Yunho, I-" you begin to explain yourself, but Mingi cuts you off in anger.

"No no, tell me what the hell is going on first," he says, shockingly stern and strong coming from him. The only time Mingi is ever stern is when he's protecting you, or thinks he is. You realize now what he thinks happened, that Yunho has upset or offended or hurt you in some way. He must think Yunho took a joke to far, or, or...

"Mingi, just-" but he cuts you off again, making you feel patronized.

"I thought when you started talking to me earlier that you were finally gonna admit that you two had been dating, but now-"

It's your turn to cut him off now. Yunho's as well.

"What?!" you both say in unison, Yunho's gaze now back to Mingi.

"Oh, so you aren't dating?" Mingi says with exasperation.

"Well, not really, not yet," Yunho stumbles. You put your head in your hands and curl up into a ball, seeing this whole conversation crumbling apart in front of you.

"Not yet? What does that mean? You've obviously upset her, what the hell did you do?!" Mingi's voice is rising in volume, unable to keep his anger under control. Mingi doesn't get angry often, but when he does it can consume him in an instant.

"Mingi, let me explain-"

"You probably told her you loved her just to sleep with her or something-"

"Mingi, I haven't slept with her! Calm down!" Yunho has raised his voice now too. At this admission you shoot him a hurt look, not understanding why he'd lie. Just because he hasn't put his dick in you doesn't mean you haven't had sex. You thought he was someone who understood that.

"You haven't?" Mingi asks, seeing the look you gave Yunho.

"Well, not technically-" but Yunho is cut off by Mingi lunging for him, slamming him against his front door and slamming the door shut in the process. The loud bang is awful and makes you jump, hands jumping to your ears a the painful sound. You start to feel panicked, your heart racing much faster now. Mingi has Yunho pinned to the door by his shoulders, but Yunho managed to get an arm up in time to have some leverage against Mingi's own chest. The two struggle against each other, Yunho at a disadvantage being stuck to the wall. Out of the corner of his eye he sees your eyes filling with tears, your hands stuck to the sides of your head. You aren't even looking at them, as if not looking will mean this isn't happening. He knows how much you hate when people fight. It was something that happened with your parents and other members of your family far too often when you were growing up.

"Don't do this shit in front of y/n!" Yunho yells at Mingi. "You're just upsetting her, you have no idea-"

"You just fucking lied to me!" Mingi screams back. "What the fuck does 'not technically' mean?!" He pushes harder into Yunho now, trying to push free the one bit of leverage Yunho has. Both of them are tall but Mingi has obvious strength on Yunho, and you see Yunho's eyes widen in fear and pain, Mingi's superior strength terrifying now that it's turned on him. You see his mind working quickly, trying to formulate a plan. His eyes meet yours and they've changed again, this time begging you for help. He looks away quickly but the message was unmistakeable.

"Mingi!" you call, the momentary distraction giving Yunho just enough time to duck below Mingi's arms and shove his torso away to allow him the space to escape. But Mingi doesn't stay distracted for long and jumps on Yunho again, tackling him to the ground this time. The two tussle and grapple and you look away again, unable to watch as they hurt themselves over this argument. You imagine tomorrow morning, the broken fingers or bruises or damaged furniture that has to be repaired. The explanation of the situation to managers, to the members. You want to yell at them to stop, to not hurt themselves, but you can't bring yourself to. You know it won't put a stop to anything.

"Mingi. Mingi just stop," you finally hear, the sounds of their brawl having died down. You glance over carefully, as if about to look at the scene of a bloody crime. But you're only met with Yunho on top of Mingi, pinning his arms to his chest and not letting him move. Neither one looks injured, at least from where you sit some feet away.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you if you hurt her," Mingi says, still struggling under Yunho, but only half-heartedly, clearly understanding he's stuck.

"Mingi, almost nothing has happened between me and y/n. If you had let us speak earlier you would have heard that."

"So you haven't been dating for like the past year?" Mingi asks, and it sounds genuine.

"No. Did you think we were? And we just hadn't said anything?" Yunho says this like he's hurt by the accusation, but you can also read a bit of guilt in his tone. Because some things have happened, and Mingi still doesn't know.

"We all did," Mingi replies.

"We?"

"The members."

"And none of you ever asked me about it? You just talked about it behind our backs?"

"It's not like we talked about it at length or anything. It was just something we all collectively thought." Mingi pauses a moment and Yunho sighs, clearly upset by this revelation. "You guys are like all over each other all the time when she's over, what were we supposed to think?"

You watch their conversation from you chair still, your anxiety and frustration bubbling over. You decide you can't take it anymore. You get up and walk quickly to the front door, trying to hold in your tears and make no sound. As you open the door they both call your name, but you don't care to turn around now. Stepping into the hallway you let the tears run down your cheeks, slumping down to sit with your back against the wall. You don't sob, you barely make a sound. You just breathe deeply and let the tears flow, letting yourself check out for a bit.

The door opens a few minutes later and Yunho emerges, moving slowly. He closes the door and looks at you for a moment, wanting to hug and kiss you and make your tears go away. He breaths in to steady himself, about to say something. But you speak first.

"I need to talk to my brother," you say. He just nods and moves back inside, knowing you don't want to move. Mingi steps out a few moments later, coming to sit down next to you.

"Yunho told me what's happened," he starts. "Is that what you were going to tell me earlier?"

"Yes, yes it was," you sigh. "I wish I said it sooner, so all that shit didn't happen."

"I'm sorry, but I thought he had hurt you or something. I just..." Mingi is talking self consciously, back to his more normal self.

"You know how much I hate when people fight around me," you say.

"I know." Mingi's heart twinges with guilt. And shame too, because he knows to whom you are really referring when you say 'people.' It's one person in particular, a man that Mingi doesn't want to be like in any way. "You seemed upset though, you looked at him like you were so upset. Are you sure he didn't hurt you?"

"Mingi, the thing he was doing that was upsetting me was how hesitant he was being with me. We both finally figured out we like each other only like days ago. But he still was keeping his distance from me sometimes. When I finally talked to him he said it was because he was worried what you would think, and what the members would think. He said he had to talk to you first. But then I realized I should really be the one to talk to you first. So I came over here to do that. And then I waited, and I waited, cause I was so nervous. I'm sorry this is happening, but no Yunho has not hurt me." You look at him with frustration. "Do you really think he'd do that?" you ask.

"No, but you never know what people are capable of. I have to protect you if I can," he says.

"Mingi, I protect you," you say.

"Too much. You're my younger sister, I should be protecting you more." Tears were forming in Mingi's eyes and neither of you realized, so suddenly tears are streaming down his cheeks. You move over and give him a hug, tears forming in your eyes too. You sit like that for a moment, you both mumbling 'I'm sorry' to each other. The hug is cathartic for you both.

"Mingi, Yunho and I both like each other. Is it gonna be a problem if we date?" you ask. Mingi shakes his head, but you can sense trepidation.

"I just really hope you don't break up and then things are tense between you. I hope you're really considering that possibility."

"Of course we are," you say without hesitation. And then you sit and think for a moment, realizing maybe you haven't. You take the moment to do some reflecting, to just sit and think on it. It hits you suddenly. "I think I've loved him since I was nine," you admit.

Little did you know, Yunho over heard this last part. He was just coming to check on you two and had just put his hand on the door. He paused, warmth swelling in his chest, and turned back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After you reconciled with Mingi the boys had their own talk, also making up. You could tell Mingi was still feeling on edge and you understood he would need time to process the news. But really, it was good news mostly. He thought you both had been hiding this from him for months. In reality, it had only been a few days.

You left the apartment after hugging them both, the emotional turmoil of the evening exhausting you. You still couldn't believe that they actually fought and you feel mad. But you also feel relieved that Mingi finally knew everything. You walked slowly down the hallway, standing patiently at the elevator door.

Then Yunho was jogging down the hall, seeing the elevator open and determining he could make it. At the last moment he snuck in surprising you, a little out of breath. Suddenly the two of you were in this small isolated space, and the air felt electric. You remembered now how he looked when he looked mad, how your insides churned when he stuck his glare on you. You look at him now, his face serene, like usual. You loved how sweet he was. But you also liked that angry side, too. You feel so embarrassed for feeling this way, knowing damn well how destructive and dysfunctional it can be for a man's only show of emotion to be anger. But you couldn't help loving how it looked on him. You wanted him to be angry again, angry at you.

"Are you busy tonight?" he asked, moving over to your side of the elevator to wrap his arms around you.

"Wow, so smooth," you say, rolling your eyes.

"Oh, you've heard that one before? Didn't realize you got around so much," he teased. You lightly hit him in the ribs, knowing how sensitive the area was. You look up at his grimacing face and you laugh, relieved to finally be joking around again. You realize the elevator is almost to ground floor so you pull on his shirt to kiss him, relishing the few moments of privacy you two still have left. As the elevator opens you both part and begin walking out the front doors, keeping a consistent and almost tangible amount of space between you. The tension in the air is severe; you think if someone walked between you they might get electrocuted.

"You never answered my question," you says as you exit the building.

"I have to study tonight," you say, turning to him. "I have important things to do." He rolls his eyes slightly, but you can tell he's a little disappointed. "I'm sorry, I really do have some reading I need to get done tonight. I can't."

"You don't think you'll have any trouble focusing?" he asks, smirking.

"Trouble focusing?" you ask, exaggerating your confusion. "I think I'll be just fine, thank you." You go to give him a quick hug goodbye but instead playfully smack him, earning yet another pinch on your waist. You squeal and turn away, determined not to change your mind. You really should spend some time studying, and you really do feel like you need some alone time. But mostly, you hope that if you wait a few days to see him again that Yunho might be pent up enough to get a little angry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three days passed.

Sometimes life gets really busy for a few days; sometimes responsibilities require your attention 24/7. These days were like that. You had forgotten you had to be at work more days than usual this week, due to the elementary and middle school kids you tutored having their standardized mid-semester exams. For three days after classes you spent nearly your entire evening with them, trying to calm their nerves and help them learn. You liked your job, for the most part. It was why you had stayed for several years. But those three days were a bit trying. Talking down young kids from bouts of anxiety took it out of you.

This all meant that to Yunho, it seemed like you were keeping your distance. He and Mingi had filming for a music video those three days, but whenever he tried to call you didn't answer, and your texts came back slower than usual. The last day he got to come home early but when he asked you to hang out you said you had work. He swore you didn't usually work that day. He thought you were the hesitant one now. He felt a little hurt but also not sure if he was even reading things correctly. He realized he really, really cared what you thought of him. It was a scary realization.

Finally your weekend came and you had a day entirely to yourself. Realistically you hadn't been wanting to keep your distance from him for three days, even if you had thought you'd give it a try. You longed to be spending the evenings with him when you were at work with the worried kids. You worried you were coming off poorly now, like you didn't really care. You kept saying sorry for missing a call or not texting back for hours on end. It was just one of those times. It just happens every once in a while. But finally it was over.

"Y/n," Yunho answers your call. His voice is bright but there's a layer of annoyance in his tone. You'd by lying if you said it didn't excite you a little.

"Hi, are you busy today? I finally have a day off," you say.

"Are you saying you want to hang out with me?"

"Yes, Yunho. Duh."

"Well, I'm just asking cause yesterday you didn't want to."

"What do you mean, I had work!" you say.

"You don't work on Fridays though," he says. He sounds almost hurt, but he's still in a joking mood.

"I had to work extra cause of elementary and middle school exams. They're next week."

"Oh, so you weren't lying then."

"Yunho!" You can't believe he's accusing you of this. "I wouldn't lie and say I had work when I didn't have work, who do you think I am?"

"So you weren't trying to piss me off so I'd come to your house one night and throw rocks at your window or something?"

"Yunho, you're insane," you reply.

"You didn't answer my question," he says.

"I'm not going to."

"Alright, fine," he says. And then, "I'll be over in a minute."

"Okay," you say, and slump back down on your bed, unbelievably excited.

It was early in the afternoon. You had slept in and then eaten a large breakfast, hungry and exhausted from your extremely busy week. You finished a load of laundry you desperately needed to do and managed to clean up your bathroom a little. Finishing these small chores made you feel good. Now you finally had time to do whatever you wanted the rest of the day.

Yunho arrived quickly, not caring if he seemed desperate. He was desperate, desperate to see you and hold you after your three exhausting days. You felt the butterflies as soon as your call ended, and now with him standing in front of you your skin felt on fire. Your knees felt shaky, your heart rate shooting through the roof. You almost felt nauseous from how excited you were. You hoped it didn't seem weird. He stepped in a hugged you, pulling your head to his chest. And then you heard his heart beat and felt it too, how blazingly fast it was beating. You felt the jittering of his nerves, the way his skin felt hot as fire when you brushed a hand over his arm. You squeezed him tighter; it felt like the only way to alleviate your nerves. As you pressed into him you felt how taught his muscles were, how rapid his breathing. Finally, you felt what must be his cock pushing against your hip. Hard already, very hard. Your breath hitched. Your roommates were in the living room setting up a movie, but Tae had just walked in.

"Hey, Yunho, how are you?" Tae asked, kind as ever. You felt Yunho jump slightly at his voice. His eyes had been closed upon realizing just how excited he was to see you. He was mid trying to find a way to calm himself when Tae walked in.

"I'm good, thank you. How have you been?" he asked. Surprisingly steady, you thought. You felt him releasing your hug and moving you away from him slightly, and momentarily you were immensely confused. But then he spun you around and put his arms around your shoulders, still needing your body in front of his to cover a potentially noticeable bulge that was forming in his pants. Tae wouldn't say anything, wouldn't care. You knew that. But he didn't.

"I'm good too, just busy with my thesis. Are you sure you're okay, you look a little pale?" Tae asked, genuinely oblivious to what was happening.

"I honestly just really have to pee," Yunho says with a chuckle, and all of you chuckle with him. "Can I use your bathroom, y/n?"

Clever, you think. Don't know if I would have thought of that.

"No, absolutely not. No peeing in this house," you joke. Yunho sees this as an opportunity as well; he figured you might say something along those lines. He begins tickling you which has you shrieking and running away towards the hallway and saying, "okay, okay", and he sprints after you, able to leave the kitchen in a rush in a way that doesn't appear suspicious.

As soon as you enter your bedroom and close the door, you cannot stop giggling. Yunho goes to tickle you again but you fight back, attempting to tickle him too. It doesn't work very well, given how much longer his arms are. Soon he's grabbed you and hits that spot under your arm that tickles the most, so you collapse to the floor. He supports your weight so you don't fall, but now you're pinned to the ground and totally at his mercy. "Stop, stop" you keep giggling, kicking your feet in an attempt to hit him where it hurts most. "Yunhooooo" you finally whine, the giggles subsiding, and he knows you're truly done. He used to tickle you a lot more when you were little, after Mingi revealed how much it made you laugh. He hadn't done it in a while, not like that. A flash of nostalgia hits him, realizing how much time has passed. How he missed those days sometimes, before there was so much pressure. When you were little he could baby you and take care of you however much he wanted when you were together. Now he stares down at a full grown adult, and the thought of his own age hits him. How much time has passed. He longs for the old times again, sometimes. When you were only ten and sweet as can be. Growing up, dealing with your family, it had changed you some. It hurt him to think of all that weighed on you, all the responsibility you took on so young. He sometimes wished he could go back.

But then there were times like this when he was so glad for the change. He had probably liked you longer than he ever would admit to anyone, given your age. He never really considered the truth of it a few years ago, because of how shameful it felt to like someone so young. It wasn't like he ever felt that way about other high school girls, so he told himself his feelings were just born from how much he loved and cared about you. But he couldn't deny it now, looking down at you, his dick still rock hard in his pants and his eyes unable to leave you. He couldn't deny how the print of your nipples through your thin shirt made him salivate, how the curve of your waist into your hips, the curve of your belly was what he thought of each night when he touched himself to sleep. And that cute pout, that pout that made everyone melt a little bit. Now when you turned it on him it just made him want to give you everything, to make you come over and over again.

Just as he is about to lean down to kiss you, a knock sounds from your door.

"Y/n, that movie you wanted to watch is on Netflix, if you still want to!" Nari says from the hallway. "I'll be in the living room, just let me know, no pressure." She walks away, not wanting to disturb you two.

Yunho leans down again, in an instant having forgotten what Nari said. But then you remember your thoughts from three days ago, about maybe pissing Yunho off, just a little.

"We should watch it, it's really good," you say. All you get is a 'hmm' in response. Yunho kisses you now, slow and sensual and like he wants to do more. You can tell where it's headed, and your pussy isn't opposed. But you want to see if you can resist, just this once. "Yunho," you say. He looks at you, eyes almost glazed over with lust. This is gonna be a hard sell, you think. So you give him that pout. You haven't used it intentionally in a while, but you used to all the time when you were kids. To get him to buy you ice cream, or get him to make a phone call for you that you were dreading. Even once to talk to a teacher for you. It was always effective then.

And it's effective now, too. Of course it is.

"What?" he asks, pulled back slightly, just wanting to give you whatever you want.

"I wanna watch the movie, I'm sorry," you say.

"No no, no apologizing. We will do whatever you want," he says. "I'm sorry for jumping on you. I just couldn't resist." You start giggling again.

"It's okay, I liked it," you say.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The movie is so good that you are at times distracted from the ever present bulge you can feel pressing against your ass. With Yunho's arms wrapped around you, you feel almost sleepy, so unbelievably comfortable. Maybe this extreme sense of comfort made you act so bratty. You weren't really sure where it came from. When Yunho offered you popcorn you refused, asking instead if you could have the corn chips you kept in the kitchen pantry. When Yunho told you the way you were sitting was putting his leg to sleep you whined and complained about having to move. Then when he relaxed his arms away, worried he was overwhelming you by holding you so close, you forcefully grabbed them and put them around you again. By the time the movie ended he was fairly lost, not sure why you were acting that way. He was pretty sure you didn't even like corn chips.

The two of you made your way back to your room, Yunho walking slowly in trepidation. He really, really wasn't sure. He felt like there was something you weren't telling him. Maybe she just needs a little more time, he thought.

"Do you want me to get going?" he asked you.

"What?" you asked in return, wide-eyed.

"You seem, I don't know," he stops himself. "You like corn chips now?" He feels it's a reasonable question to ask. You try to keep a smile from forming on your face. You should have known how easily he'd see through you.

"Yeah," you say, awkwardly. You don't know what else to say.

"You didn't even eat any after I went and got them for you," he says.

You stand silently, not sure where to go from here. Usually playing around and messing with him feels so fun. But this is feeling a little weird now. It wasn't authentic, and he knows it. You start to feel a bit bad, and think you should just tell him what you want. But that feels daunting too. You just stare at him, unable to speak, unsure of what to say.

Yunho moves closer to you, seeing that pout forming again, seeing your brain work overtime. He runs a hand through your hair and settles his hand at the nape of your neck. He stares deeply into your eyes, capturing the entirety of your attention. In a low voice, he speaks deliberately.

"Baby, what do you want?"

You blush at his words and smile, closing your eyes to savor the way his voice sounds. You feel an intoxicating mix of guilt and excitement bubbling in your stomach, but you can't bring yourself to speak. Your throat is tight and all you can do is let out a whine.

"Use your words. Tell me."

It feels like he is commanding you now. You feel like you might lift off the ground, like he is made of magic and could make you levitate if he wanted to. Your throat suddenly lets you speak, lets you get enough of a breath to get it out.

"I want you to do whatever you want to me," you say, your voice barely audible. But Yunho holds onto every syllable, like you've yelled it at him through a megaphone. He pulls your face up to his, his lips devouring yours, leaving nearly no room for you to breathe. He's grabbing you intensely, a hand firmly set on one of your ass cheeks and grabbing roughly at it.

"Do you want me mad, is that it?" he asks, his voice still low and even. He doesn't feel out of control by any means, but you can tell you've elicited some pent up frustration. All you do is giggle, so happy that your plan has worked.

"Get on your bed, and take off your clothes," he commands, not wanting to wait any longer. He's had this idea since he was here last; at that time it felt like something he should approach slowly, and ask you first. But now he realizes it's probably the sort of thing you want. After pulling off his shirt and pants he makes his way for your bedside table. As you remove your panties you see him opening the top drawer, pulling out a small pink wand that you have stashed there. Your heart nearly drops at the sight of it, the way it looks almost small in his hand, the way he so confidently went for it.

"Yunho!" you say, in shock. "How..."

"I accidentally saw it last time I was here, baby. I can't stop thinking about you using it on yourself. You probably use it every night don't you? When I'm not here to make you come?"

Your blushing again but this time you look rather embarrassed, your arms wrapped around your chest to cover yourself. Still, you undressed as he said. It's as if you can't disobey him in this state. You've never felt like this before with anyone. Like you don't have a care in the world, like your brain has turned off almost entirely except for the parts necessary for survival. Like you know Yunho will take care of you, no matter what happens.

Yunho can sense this shift in your mind, but sees you covering yourself and has to check.

"Are you okay?" he asks, almost sternly. You know it's because he needs to know, for his own sanity.

"Please don't stop," you say as you nod, voice breathy and needy, arms still covering yourself. Your waiting for him to say it, waiting, waiting-

"Stop covering yourself." Finally. You take your arms down, almost presenting your chest to him. His breath hitches slightly, but you can't see it. His face remains neutral; he feels oddly at home being in control of you like this.

"Lay down," he says. Then, "spread your legs, let me see you." He moves down to you, hands running up and down your legs. But his eyes won't leave your pussy. He moves his face closer, now kissing and biting into your inner thighs, relishing how soft they feel against his cheek. Now he can smell you slightly, the sweet and musky scent making him feel almost drunk. He wasn't planning on it but he can't resist, and moves his face down to get a taste of you. He moves his tongue up your pussy slowly, savoring the warmth and sweetness. He settles himself down and wraps his hands around your thighs and you can't stop staring at his hands, long and veiny in the heat of the room. He licks you slowly again, then settles at the top, brushing gentle circles over your clit. Your body reacts instantly, your back arching and your head falling back, your legs moving in and surrounding his head. He can tell your clit is really sensitive, and doesn't want to overwhelm you at first. He pulls back and licks even more gently, slowly pushing your legs back down so you are completely spread for him. You feel his warm tongue stroking back and forth, his gentle movements causing such intense feelings. You sigh and relax into the feeling, your eyes closed and mind on another planet. It takes a little while for your body to completely give in and Yunho can tell, but he doesn't mind taking the time. He likes the idea that this might take a while. He could spend hours between your legs, tasting you and making you moan.

Suddenly you feel close, each stroke of his tongue sending sparks through you, and then you're coming undone, your whole body feeling warm and tingly. Yunho's tongue is unrelenting and soon feels like too much, so you grab onto his hair and pull at him slightly. He pulls up his face and you see his lips glistening with your slick, his eyes dark as they meet yours. He moves up to kiss you, wanting you to taste yourself. The kiss is sweet but intense, Yunho grabbing onto your waist to hold you as close to him as he can.

"I'm sorry I took forever," you say between kisses, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Don't ever apologize about that," he says, kissing you again, holding you tight. You know he says it to be kind, but in this context it also feels like another command, so you vow to never do it again.

Yunho rises, moving down and spreading your legs again to see you, see how puffy and pink your pussy looks. It makes him salivate and he wants to dive back in immediately, but then he remembers his original plan and grabs the wand he had dropped on your bed. He moves down between your legs again, then slowly strokes his fingers through your slit, careful not to shock you with his touch. "Relax, baby," he says in a whisper, the depth of his voice reaching into your bones. You do as he says and open your eyes, smiling at him as he starts to stroke you again, covering his fingers in your slick and then moving them down into position. He slowly pushes two into you, and after a few slow strokes adds a third. You feel yourself stretch a bit to accommodate the added finger, the feeling only briefly painful and then entirely perfect. Your head is thrown back again and this time you wish you could open your legs even wider, wish you could take more of him. He starts pumping in and out of you consistently, waiting until you start opening up even more. Once he feels your walls relax just that little bit more he picks up the wand, turning it on to its lowest setting. You inhale sharply, nervous at how intense it will feel. "It's okay," he says. "We'll stop if it doesn't feel good." But your anxiety was for nothing; as he presses the wand down onto your clit you feel immediate white hot pleasure, the feeling more intense that you've ever known. With both his fingers inside you and the wand on your clit your orgasm builds quickly; as you feel yourself about fall over the edge it builds even more, and then it happens a second time. You feel like your pussy is on fire, like you are a dam about to break. "Yunho, yunho," you squeak out, your brain having completely left you, but something in you wanting him to know how good he's making you feel. But he can tell anyway, from the way your squirm and open yourself even wider for him, by the sounds you are making. You come hard, your eyes rolling back and legs shaking uncontrollably. A bit of droll leaks out of your mouth onto your pillow without you noticing, the feelings enveloping you too intense for you to register literally anything else. A small and quick burst of fluid leaves your pussy and covers Yunho's arm. "Good girl," he says earnestly, sure he just made you squirt.

When you finally come down from your high you can't stop talking. You crawl over to him and wrap around him, feeling suddenly so excited. "That felt so good," you say, nuzzling your head into his neck. "I've never come that hard ever, I don't think."

"Good," Yunho says, placing a satisfied kiss on your temple. "I want you to feel good." You smile up at him, scrunching up your face in happiness.

"You always make me feel good, even when we're just hanging out," you say. Yunho wraps you up in his arms, his heart not able to handle your sweetness.

"You're too sweet for this world," he says. You nuzzle into his chest at his words, so happy to be praised.

You settle into a comfortable silence for a few moments, your breathing finally returned to normal. You hug Yunho, feeling his breaths rising and falling. And then he breathes in like he's about to say something.

"I want to make you come again," he says.

"I don't know if I can, after that..." you trail off, quietly laughing at yourself.

"I think you can," he says, a mischievous smile on his lips. "Get on your hands and knees."

You do as he says, arranging yourself near the top of your bed to give him room behind you. You arch your back and stick your butt out towards him, and when he taps on one of your knees you spread them apart further. "Good girl," he says again, and you can feel your pussy clench, your wetness feeling cool against the air. He slowly enters his three fingers into you again, your pussy now so wet that they slide in easily. At this angle he can reach so deeply inside you, and it feels like his fingers might be feet long. You feel his movements in your whole abdomen and it's intoxicating, and suddenly you really wish it was his cock inside you, reaching deeper than even his fingers can, splitting you open with forceful thrusts. He reaches towards your shoulders to push them down, flattening your chest and face against your bed with your ass still in the air. Once he has you exactly where he wants you he goes for the wand again, this time switching it onto a slightly higher setting, determined to make you come again. As soon as it makes contact you are again met with white hot pleasure, the intensity of it still surprising you, the multiple points of stimulation making you feel small and submissive. He increases the intensity of his fingers, pumping them into you faster and putting even more pressure on that spot you love so much. Soon you are screaming into your pillow, and Yunho is thankful you are coving your mouth yourself. He would, if he had a free hand to do so. Soon he feels your pussy twitching around his fingers, and then you are clamping down on him so hard, your legs shaking so hard and your body slumping down slowly, unable to hold itself up in your challenging position anymore. Yunho slowly removes the wand and turns it off, then slowly removes his fingers, licking them to again savor the taste of you. You lay slumped in an almost concerning way, so Yunho leans over and moves your hair out of your face to see a blissful smile and blush red cheeks.

He moves to the bathroom to grab a washcloth, coming back to wipe of your thighs and ass and make you feel clean. His movements feel so comforting, you wish you could live in this moment forever. Once he finishes he goes back to wash off his own hands. You flip yourself over, grabbing your favorite plushy and trying to collect yourself. Sweat has stuck your hair to your forehead and cheek, and you feel like you must look ridiculous. You're still a shaking mess lying naked on your bed, your chest rising and falling in rapid breaths. As he exits your bathroom you look over at Yunho in just his boxers and see how hard he is, his considerable length highly visible. All this time he pleasured you, never asking for anything in return. But you wanted him to. You wanted him to use you, however he pleased. He had given you too much not to get something in return.

"Please, can I suck your cock?" you ask him, the words coming out more as begging than you intended. Yunho is caught off guard, his hand running through his hair halting, his eyes meeting yours.

"Baby.." he trails off, the image of your beautiful lips wrapped around him sending sparks through him. He's deliberately held off seeking his own pleasure from you. He's deliberately avoided getting his dick involved. He doesn't know why, really, but he holds it over himself like some sort of rule. Maybe it's a slight punishment. Maybe he doesn't want to scare you. He's bigger than average and doesn't ever want to hurt you, just because you are so eager.

"Please," you say again, more exasperated. "Please Yunho, I really want to. But only if you want to, of course."

Your words have him questioning his own rule. He realizes his own worry, his own nature of holding back. Why should he with you?

"Okay, come here," he says, helping you sit up and then move off your bed, bringing you over to your bedroom door and sitting you on your knees with your back supported. He's brushing hair out of your face and then leaning down to kiss you again, wanting you to know how much he cares. How he worries. How he needs you to be alright for his own peace of mind. As soon as he pulls away you are reaching for his boxers, pulling them down and watching as his cock springs free, the length and girth of it taking you by surprise. You knew he was big, you could tell from looking at his crotch more times than you were proud of. But seeing it up close was something different. You feel your pussy clench around nothing, your body craving to be filled.

You lean forward and lick his tip, grabbing the base of his shaft with your hand to help guide you. You wrap your lips around it and suck, gently at first and then harder, a feeling of pride swelling in you as you hear him lowly groan. Yunho can't believe this is happening, can't believe he is finally getting to feel the warmth of your sweet mouth on his cock. He is rock hard now, desperate for the pleasure and release he had given you over and over again. You pop your mouth off to lick a stripe up the base of his shaft, coming up to the bottom of his head and tasting the saltiness of a bead of precum that had escaped him. You now settle into a rhythm, moving you mouth as far down on him as you can so he's covered in your spit, using your hand and mouth in tandem to illicit as much pleasure as you can. Yunho is holding himself up by the door behind you, desperately wanting to fuck your mouth, the feeling of your hot tongue on him like nothing he's ever experienced. His right hand comes down to brush your hair out of your face again, so he can see everything, your mouth stuffed full of him and your eyes fluttering open and shut as you bob your head back and forth.

Yunho can't help himself, the pleasure is too great, and suddenly he finds himself thrusting slightly, the tip of his cock grazing the back of your throat and causing you to gag. He's alarmed at his own aggression and pulls back, expecting you to be alarmed too. But instead you pop off of him, and with lust filled eyes look up. "You can fuck my mouth if you want, you know. I'd really like that," you say, in lustful sincerity. Your voice when you're fucked-out is quiet but assured, your mind focused on one thing only. It makes Yunho feel like he could come on the spot. He runs a thumb across your lips and cheeks. "Baby, are you sure?" he asks. You nod. "I promise I'll be very gentle," he says, moving his cock towards your lips again. "You don't have to be," you say right before it enters your mouth again. Your words make Yunho's head spin, and he shakes his head involuntarily, out of disbelief.

He enters your mouth slowly, his large hand holding the back of your head to support you. He starts with shallow thrusts, feeling the warmth and wetness of your tongue along the underside of him, the feeling blissful and enthralling. You are looking up at him, eyes wide and full of excitement, your mind barely able to comprehend that this is really happening. You have imagined this moment many, many times. He thrusts become slightly deeper, his tip reaching almost to the back of your throat now. You breathe through your nose, keeping your mouth as open for him as you can. Finally he hits the back of your throat and moans, causing you to gag and a single tear to form in your left eye. "You okay?" he asks gently, pulling back slightly to let you recover. But you don't want him to stop so you suck on his tip and nod your head up and down, still making eye contact with him. His head falls back at the sight, you nodding at him with his cock still in your mouth. You move forward and gag yourself on him, then lean back slightly and look at look at him with pleading eyes. He takes the hint, moving forward again and finally fucking your mouth in earnest. His thrusts are controlled and deliberate, their speed picking up slowly and consistently. He loves the warmth of your mouth, the tightness of your throat squeezing his tip, the feeling better than anything he could have imagined. He was already so wound up from making you come so much, he's not going to last long. You can feel it, can sense in the way his breathing changes and his body changes, like he's filling with pressure and it needs to be released. Suddenly he's pulling out of you and coming on your face, your open mouth catching some of it. You savor the taste and swallow, licking your lips to find more. He watches the lewd image in front of him and feels like the wind has been knocked from him. And then, as he comes down fully, the feeling like he's done too much hits him.

"Sorry baby, let me go get a towel," he says. You whine, grabbing onto his arm to pull him down, not wanting him to leave just yet. You want him to see the beautiful mess he's made up close. Once he's at eye level you smile, batting your eyes at him. "Oh, so you like that I made a mess of you?" he says, another shake of his head from disbelief. "You are so naughty..." he says, clearly pleased. You giggle and stick your tongue out at him. "You can clean me up now," you say, eyes expectant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night the two of you lay in your bed, your head on Yunho's shoulder and your legs intertwined with his. The events of the day had left you both sleepy, the feeling enveloping you quickly after you finished your dinner. After some begging Yunho helped you get ready for bed, helping you brush your teeth and get undressed. You felt so hazy you thought you'd fall asleep as soon as you laid down. But once you were settled under the covers with him your mind started wandering, and you were unable to put a stop to it.

"Can I ask you something?" you ask him.

"Of course," Yunho says, through a yawn.

"You know the day you showed up to Mingi's and I was already there, when we both were gonna tell him about us, were you mad at me?"

"No, I wouldn't say mad," Yunho starts. He sighs. "I was just really confused. I had told you earlier I was going to go talk to him, and I thought you would have told me if you were planning to go tell him before me. I thought I was going to be the one to break it to him, the one to bear the brunt of it. I though it would be best because I'm the one he'd probably be mad it, not you. I felt like you telling him first would make him... even more mad at me, I guess?"

You pause for a moment, guilt sinking into your chest painfully.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going to tell him," you say. "I was just really focused that day on the fact that I should tell him first. He's my brother, I felt like I should be the one to do it."

"It's okay," he responds, hugging you tighter. "I"m sorry about what happened that day, that wasn't okay."

"It was Mingi's fault," you say.

"It wouldn't have happened if I just told him sooner that I liked you."

"I could have told him earlier too," you say.

"Baby, stop. You don't need to take responsibility for that mess," Yunho says, comfortingly stroking your cheek. He sighs more deeply now, feeling his own twinges of guilt. "I don't say this to make you feel like I think you're immature or irresponsible, but I think you should know how I truly feel. Given your age and your inexperience, I feel like I need to take responsibility here. I should have approached this whole situation with more care. I should have spoken to Mingi about it sooner, even if I was worried it might mess up our friendship. I should have talked to you directly about how I felt, before I let you sleep over and kissed you and..." he trails off, but you know what he meant to say.

"Before you made me come?" you finish for him. "Can you not even say it out loud now?" you ask, giggling.

"I guess not," he says, embarrassment making his cheeks warm.

"Do you feel like you have to be really careful with me, otherwise I might push you away?" you ask.

"I feel like I have to be careful with you because it's the right thing to do," he answers.

"Is that why you haven't put your dick in me yet?" you ask, the darkness of night making it easy for the words to escape you. Yunho sucks in a sudden breath at your words, at how crass and direct you're being.

"Y/n..." he trails off, and you feel the tenseness of his body.

"Sorry, did that make you uncomfortable?"

"I just really wasn't expect that," he says, collecting himself. In truth your directness turns him on, but he feels a sort of shame about it. "To me you are a very pure person, very good-hearted. Not exactly innocent, given all that you've experienced. But I don't want your first time to be rushed or bad. I realize we've already had sex but... I don't know, it's fucking illogical, I know, but I wanted to wait to do that."

"Yunho, I've already had my first time," you admit, thinking back and cringing at remembering Kim Wonsik, the boy you dated for two months during your final year of high school. He certainly didn't take his time when it came to putting his dick in you. It wasn't the worst first-time experience ever; you had heard several horror stories from other girls in your grade. But it wasn't exactly good, either. You hadn't told almost anyone about the relationship, only Mingi after the whole thing was over. It hadn't been something you wanted to share. You knew the news spread quickly through your school, as every little bit of gossip always did. But to tell Yunho or any of the boys felt so daunting. You felt embarrassed by it at the time; you were questioning your sexuality and scared of anyone knowing, anyone asking questions or pressing too hard. You had liked Wonsik, but not really the way you knew you should. You were just tired of never experiencing anything, and when the opportunity presented itself you decided to try. It was over and done with quickly, and Wonsik never spoke to you again. It all felt embarrassingly clunky and messy, in comparison to everything else in your life. Things like that were easy for you to keep from people, especially at that age when you still lived with your parents and only really thought of how quickly you could move out.

"Oh, I didn't realize," Yunho responds, his head spinning a bit. He would be lying if hearing that didn't elicit some feeling of jealousy from him, but he holds himself back from saying anything that would betray that feeling to you. He knows it's a little hypocritical to feel that way, given that he's been with two girls before you.

"I've dated one boy, and one girl," you admit, everything now just spilling out of you. "I hope that's not an issue for you."

"Of course not baby, not at all," he says, pulling you up so you're laying on top of him. You sigh from relief, letting your body completely relax on top of his.

"You've dated before, right?" you ask. You remember a girl from years ago, maybe even from before the boys debuted. You can't remember the timing exactly, but you vaguely remember a panicked Yunho breaking up with her, knowing that in his early years after debuting things just wouldn't be able to work.

"Yes, there was one girl I dated right before we debuted. And then there was a girl like four years ago now. We dated for a year."

"Are you still in contact with her?" you ask, a little shocked at how long the relationship was and the fact that you never heard of her before. Well, Yunho never knew of your two relationships either, you realize.

"No, things became very tense between us. She never even met any of the members, or my family. We were both very busy, and she struggled with me being an idol and how much I travelled and was gone. It went on longer than it should have, and by the time it ended we weren't on very good terms. I think she ended up moving back to Japan after we broke up, cause her family was from there. I'm not really sure, to be honest. But I haven't spoken to her since then."

"That sounds rough," you say, not sure how else to respond.

"I definitely don't want to repeat that again," he says, squeezing you. "Please tell me if I'm making your life harder. I really, really don't want to do that."

"I promise I would if it ever came to that. But you make my life better and always have, I can't foresee that happening," you say.

"It's hard to know what might happen," he says, wanting to get everything out in the open. "I certainly hope it never comes to that. But if it does, you better tell me."

"Okay, I promise," you say, trying hard not to sound as sarcastic. But he conversation was feeling too serious; you couldn't help how the words slipped out, your mind wishing to ease the intensity of things.

"Are you not taking me seriously?" he asks, moving his hands now to your most ticklish spots.

"No no, I am. I promise," you say, giggling into his shoulder and moving our hands to protect yourself.

"There's something else we need to talk about, too," he says.

"What?"

"If you want me to 'do whatever I want to you,' then we need to talk about it. So I can actually keep you safe." You giggle at his immediate change of subject, him repeating your words from earlier.

"What do we need to talk about?"

"I need to know what stuff is off-limits for you, so I can make sure I don't do anything you don't want. Cause I'm sure there really are things you wouldn't like, even if you don't think there are."

"Okay," you say, somewhat stumped. You haven't really thought about it in detail in all honesty. "Can I think about it?"

"Of course, baby," he says. "Oh, is it okay that I call you baby?"

"Yeah, I like it," you giggle, squirming against him.

"Is there anything else you want me to call you?" You start giggling, too embarrassed to say. "Hmm okay, what about doll?" he asks, and you giggle more. "Okay, what about princess?" you squeak involuntarily, making Yunho laugh. "My princess," he says in a low voice, stroking your hair and making you feel horny all over again. You start rubbing yourself on his thigh, burying your head in his shoulder. You feel a bit shameful about liking these pet names but the shame also feels good, making you feel tingly and warm.

"We need a safe word, too," he says.

"Mmm, let me think," you say, scrunching your face in concentration. "What about... waffles?"

"Waffles?" he repeats, laughing. "Okay, waffles it is."

You both lay quietly for a while, soaking in a processing your conversation, your mind still wandering. You yawn deeply, causing Yunho to yawn too. He plants a kiss on your forehead, now stroking a hand along your back to help put you to sleep. A final thought crosses his mind, something he feels he must say.

"Just so you know, you can always punch or kick me too, if anything I'm doing is hurting you or isn't what you want. If you can't speak for some reason, or you forget to. I want you to do that if you need to."

A tear forms in your eye and falls gently off your cheek onto Yunho's shoulder, and he looks down at you to see another streaming down your face. He reaches over to wipe it off gently, watching your face for any more signs of distress.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes. It's just, no one cares for me as much as you do."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @mingtinysworld @pautiny27 @yoonjikim @ateez-atiny380 @luvleejuyo @soupyjoy @casterole

Love you all <3

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez yunho #yunho x reader #yunho smut

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mewtwo24 · 1 month

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You know reading vol 5 of mdzs before all the rest (don't ask me why I'm a clown and there were Circumstances) has to be the craziest experience of my life. Because it took all of ten minutes of wwx talking to literally hit me so hard in the gut I had to sit down and listen to really loud music for a while to calm down.

Who needs therapy when mxtx is alive and writing, I guess????? 🤡

Can't wait to get to the actual tragic parts I just know I'm gonna be that "help" frog phone meme

#mdzs #i was really out here thinking svsss would be my fave bc of lbh #and then i finally get around to reading mdzs and it blows my expectations out of the fucking water holy actual shit #and i just had this feeling the first time i read parts of it like 'oh. this series is going to kill me. im not coming back from this.'#and here i am booboo the fool getting my clown ass make-up on #idk how to explain it like i just fucking LOVE mxtx's takes on arrogance #that wwx is constantly being perceived as a show off and an incorrigible flirt and a know it all #how wwx cant always help the ways he acts out the desperation that has embedded itself into his very bones #how wwx only ever wanted to do the right thing and that having been so much of his downfall #how his worth and talent would always be eclipsed by virtue of his circumstances #how he's above needing recognition at his core but at the same time longs for an ounce of good will and positive recognition ->#how human he is despite his brilliance. how he never gets it no matter how hard he tries to be worthy.#like to me wwx is emblematic of what it means to be poor/an immigrant in high places #always villified always alien always wrong always unwelcome #no matter how clever or capable or kind youll always be an eyesore because you don't 'act right'. not 'one of them.' you never will be.#i just...the way he just wanted it all to be over by the end. the way he didnt even want to come back to life. that he was sick of it all.#im rattling the bars of my cage i love him I LOVE HIM i love him #i understand you lan wangji (and i love lwj too)#and even lan wangji too like. the way so many of their issues in the beginning stems from that self-same problem #how lwj couldn't live with his out of control feelings how he too couldn't quite lay down his pride #how lwj was also trapped by the expectations of his clan in his own way how so much of their separation was a form of penance #that the calamity of wwx's loss forced him to reconsider everything he thought he knew about himself and his life #how he was left with nothing but regret. how when wwx returns--lwj refuses to leave anything to chance this time #he refuses to let wwx be alone anymore--refuses to let him hurt himself for the sake of others refuses to just let it all happen #even if it means overstepping a boundary or propriety it doesn't matter--as long as wwx stays with him. pride be damned #god i just can't i just can't do it im biting im ripping things apart GOD #will also say the jokes about lwj being like. 'strict moral compass or BUST.' and then wwx literally committing like 17 felonies in the bg #while lwj is like 'crimes? what crimes. nothing to see here.' NEVER stops being funny. like i was pissing myself laughing #i know its a known trope but by god are they hilarious about it #also. lan qiren how many times do your nephews have to go catatonic for you to stop with the catholic guilt and repression

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depresseddepot · 2 years

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It's struggle through autism symptoms hours

#being dx as an adult really is just a coin toss of ''will i be okay today or will i be existentially and emotionally ruined''#was thinking about touch and how much i dislike it and it finally sort of settled home that like #i will not be living the life i imagined #i imagined one day i will be okay being single and unnattractive and i will care for myself #how am i supposed to be hopeless romantic and touch repulsed #how can i ever EVER even slightly hope to find someone who will be into me. like. lmfao it is a cruel joke #i am fat and unattractive. i am asexual and touch repulsed. i have autism and adhd and am completely unmedicated.#my own mother is too embarrassed by me to accept these things let alone not be ashamed of them #i can look past the visual and personality shit. like yeah whatever lets pretend someone is into me.#i do not want to have sex. i do not want to be touched. i do not want to kiss or be lovey dovey.#and i realize what's left is just literally ''a friend'' but what about all this fucking romantic yearning i seem to be full of #idk. i know the answer to this im just trying to ignore it i guess #all this escapism and yearning and dreaming is just to pretend that one day i will be a different person living a different life #but i want to live with someone. i want someone to sleep in my bed. i want someone to wake up and make breakfast with #i want someone who cares about me to be in the house when i get excited about something and need to tell someone #i don't want to be alone #i want to be near someone who makes me feel like i'm not a freak. someone who doesn't ever give me That Look #if ur autistic you know the look im talking about. the confusion the irritation the ridiculousness of it #i want to feel like i will always be someone's first choice. i want to know what it's like to trust someone with every part of me #and it will never happen because i cannot stand to be fucking touched #if i was just asexual i could manage. but i cannot touch #does this get better? will this improve if i meet someone i trust? i want to die #the only (ONLY) thing i think i can even remotely provide is creativity #and im good at it. i can write well and i have good ideas amd i know generally what im doing #but with school and work i just do not have the time to work on my wips #and i don't know how long i can fucking take it #i am doing nothing. i am giving nothing and taking so so fucking much #i know i don't have to work to deserve to live but jesus christ. what am i fucking doing #i don't have time but its the only thing i have to live for and i don't know how much longer i can live like this #vent

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tsukiida · 12 days

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i just scrolled through my blog and i realised i have only two modes: weird pseudo-philosophical rambling. and absolutely unhinged yelling. AND I TELL YOUUUU IT'S SO FUNNYYYYYYY because i spent so long trying to curate my voice and sound like a normal, fun, easy to approach person back when i first made this blog!

then again it's been 3.5 years so i guess my voice changed naturally 🤨 i'm not smart enough for this 😮‍💨

#nia.musings #sorry even using this tag makes me snort. wdym musing girlie. are u a philosopher. big brain? 🤩🤩 2024 me is bullying 2020 me #also not me saying “im not smart enough for this” for anything that requires me to use more than 2 braincells #couldn't be bothered trying to make sense for more a second #kickstarting my own brainless era and i wear my crown so well #also random but i'm soooooo ready to infest this blog with jjk. i probably won't do that because that piece of art traumatises me #by that i mean i like it and keep up with it far too much for someone who claims theyre traumatised #my emotional scale is SHOT because of it. more pain than preferable. but i do quite enjoy it #and considering i go through sooooo much jjk content on tumblr it's only fair that i showcase it all on my blog :3 #i have about 700 draft reblogs on a sideblog i made to save posts when i wasnt active here. i made it this year but theres SO much now #also lowkey regret not being active (though i had no energy) here in 2021 2022 2023 because i had so many thoughts about bnha #and now it's nearly over #like what do you meannnn i didnt get to yap about my spinner era from 2021.#what do you mean my love to hate and back to love arc for dabi didnt get documented in the annals of tumblr dot com #AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY MELTDOWN LAST YEAR RE: HAWKS' QUIRK DIDNT GET PUBLICISED #this is all a joke because i for real (FR FR) had ZERO chance of being here because life was putting me through its TRIALS #still is. but that's the way life is. we go on. <3.#speaking of trials. no one here was privy (wait i think i mentioned it in an rb) to my jason grace breakdown when i found out What Happened #sucks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i wasnt made for emotional pain.#also it's funny to me how none of my followers have unfollowed me so far.#are u guys also all inactive or do u just not see me anymore because tumblr's dash algorithm gives u random posts now #thats the only thing i dislike about tumblr now. i LOVE how it lets you edit tags now. also will always miss the old layout

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stars-and-clouds · 8 months

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Astarion Romance Headcanons 🥀

SFW:

Side glances when you're besides him

Full on staring when you're not

Immediately looking away when you catch him

"You know the way he looks at you, don't you, soldier?"

His pinky itching towards yours when you're walking, wanting to hold your hand but unsure because, is it too much? Will you reject him?

His hands scrunching up your shirt tightly whenever you hug. He's always the last to let go.

You hold on longer and longer each time because he doesn't want to let go.

His kisses are tender and needy.

He likes the warmth of your hands.

Thinking of what tones will suit your perfume the best. He'll gift it to you after all this is over.

He'll sew the holes or tears in your clothes over the night and pretend he doesn't know what happened next morning.

When you move to kiss his cheek he will grimace in annoyance but lean in as you do it.

"Be careful around Astarion, (Tav). He's not serious about you.", the others will warn you. And Astarion will worry you'll heed their words more than his so he'll do so much to prove his love to you, not knowing that you already trust him (even if that is an objectively stupid thing to do lmao).

He started sleeping next to you from the moment you had sex but ever since you've entered the shadowlands, he ends up cuddling in the middle of the night. He misses the sun.

He likes kissing the palm of your hand or its back.

Likes to pack your bag before you leave camp.

"No one's ever going to love me like that again."

Ever since you told him that there's more to him than just beauty and sex, that he's hilarious, for instance, he finds ways to make you laugh. He loves it. He's started being a lot more sarcastic and makes more jokes just to hear your laughter. He'll never admit it, of course. Other than maybe when it's only you two.

Doesn't believe he will be able to love again if you let go of him.

"Don't be so nice to me." he says with round, needy and pleading eyes.

Thinking of ways he can show others you're together so others know you're not available.

Hiding his jealousy, terribly.

He will rip the throat out of anyone with malicious intent towards you.

"I will wait the whole of my life for you, Astarion." He doesn't believe it at first, but the longer you go on without sex the safer he feels and the more he wants you.

NSFW:

He sometimes cries silently at night, wishing he could make love to you without it feeling so tainted. He wants it so badly, but his past experience prohibits it. The pain of wanting something and being unable to have it only because of himself is too much. He blames himself too sometimes. Wishing he could give you more.

"I don't mind waiting.", you'd say.

"I do. I can't have you, no matter how much I want you.", he'd say.

When you cuddle him sensing he's upset, he will bury his face in your neck to hide his tears. The smell of you is comforting.

Needing you everytime you're tender with him.

Getting aroused when you hug during a kiss.

Wanting to kiss your skin all over, to make you cry from pleasure as you bury your face in his neck.

Wanting you to hold on to him for dear life as you climax.

When he's finally comfortable enough and takes charge of his own sexuality, he'll be so needy.

Realising that the two nights he had sex with you were nothing compared to how good making love to you feels.

When you give up all control to him, letting him do to you as he wants, the pleasure is almost too much bear. The power he feels is palpable and knowing it is you who trusts him so much will drive him near mad.

He will lose control many times so you have a safe word.

You both think of the stupidest word possible as a safe word. Something that makes you both laugh when it's used.

He likes over stimulating you, making you beg and he'll kiss you to calm you.

"It's okay, you can do it, darling.", he'll say stroking you even further and kissing your tears.

"Does that feel good, my love?"

The more you beg the more he loves it.

He likes playing with your hands, holding them in his, touching your fingers, comparing them to his while you rest on his chest, still warm from him being inside of you.

Resting his head against your chest to hear your heartbeat.

Staring at your face and body intently. Taking in every little reaction you make and replaying them over in his head throughout the day.

Staring at you longingly when you're both with the squad, failing terribly at focusing in battle or conversation.

Getting aroused when you're covered in blood.

Seeing you fighting, in general, turns him on. The smell of your sweat, your rapid heart beat, the way your body moves, all of it now only reminds him of making love to you.

Telling you to say his name whenever he's feeling good and you'll chant it as you cum. He loves how it sounds from your lips.

Resting his forehead against yours as he's close to cumming.

"Look at me.", he'll command you.

He likes when your hands rake his hair, pull his hair, tug it whatever. That slight bit of pain arouses him. Better yet, if you bury your nails into his skin.

He likes to look at you falling asleep. It's such a gentle thing. How can someone so strong otherwise be so soft around him? Why him? Why did someone like you choose someone like him? He can't believe he has you.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50833876/chapters/128419966 I am updating these hcs on my ao3, if anyone is interested!

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astonmartinii · 6 days

Text

i can do it with a broken heart [guilty as sin part three] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

life goes on after a bombshell but this silence isn't mysterious it's ominous

MASTERLIST | GUILTY AS SIN MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,304,509 others

yourusername: don't tell lies about me and i won't tell truths about you

view all comments

user164: oh holy moly this is so much worse than i thought

user165: i don't think i can ever look at those men the same ever again

user166: SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS FOR FAVOURS?

user167: my mouth dropped open when i read that

user168: so like not to be insensitive but like who do we think it was

maxverstappen1: so like y/n obviously can't talk on this because she needs her silence but my big mouth will remain open they tried it on me that's why she mentions that she managed to make friends.

user169: what the fuck

maxverstappen1: they thought that i would be an easy target because i was so young but jokes on them i've always been taken advantage of so i saw that from a mile away (also y/n didn't want to so that obviously helped)

user170: that is actually insane like her and max are the same age so that would've made her so young i hope to god that they didn't try it with anyone older

maxverstappen1: they did but by the time they realised that it hadn't worked on me y/n had allies and fernando and seb were not about to let any of that happen

user171: thank the lord she had some friends when people control your money you'll do anything

fernandoalo_oficial: she became my daughter the moment that i saw them try and offer their family to some of the older men in the paddock

user172: i am actually in shock this was a "oh gosh this is so dramatic situation" but now it's just "holy shit i kinda need to see these guys in jail"

fernandoalo_oficial: me and you both

user173: i'm going to need ferrari to let charles out of the cage for this one

user174: kinda expected him to be in the comments supporting her i'm not going to lie

user175: he's in the likes?

user176: girl? his girlfriend is being sued by his own family and is confessing that she was offered round the paddock like a prize cow i feel like he should be actively voicing his support

oscarpiastri: you're loved and have the full support of the paddock

maxverstappen1: we're behind you 100% of the way

olliebearman: nothing but full support for you mum

pierregasly: we're all here for you no matter what we're allowed to say

fernandoalo_oficial: 🫶

sebastianvettel: it'll all work out in the end

user177: still no charles ???

user178: eh i feel like pierre is confirming charles' support in his place

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 835,923 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

maxverstappen1: i'm missing my best friend has anyone seen her?

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user179: oh good i was just about to lose it from y/n and max withdrawals

user180: at least one of the trio of dumbasses is keeping us fed

yourusername: i miss you toooooooooo :( (reply fast my lawyer has gone to the bathroom)

maxverstappen1: hurry up and win your lawsuit so we can go back to kicking ass and drinking gin and tonics

yourusername: i'm trying 🤞

maxverstappen1: and if i said it's time to red wedding them?

yourusername: i think we would be swiftly arrested

maxverstappen1: they can't arrest us our face cards are too strong

yourusername: well one of us is currently in court so what does that say about my face card

charles_leclerc: THAT YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL REGARDLESS FUCK THEM

this comment was liked by the author and @yourusername

this comment was deleted

user181: so is that like confirmation that charles is back in PR jail in maranello

user182: right i understand that he's literally employed by them but like he's also a grown ass man who can speak up

user183: like i know max isn't obviously at ferrari and isn't contractually obligated to be teammates with carlos but even he's out here slamming him

user184: and oscar who's only in his SECOND year in the sport

oscarpiastri: bold assumption that you're the best friend max

maxverstappen1: let's not get too rowdy piastri i can deal with you as the 'child' - you cannot be a bestie as well

oscarpiastri: i don't think that's the exact rules

maxverstappen1: you'll soon learn that I MAKE THE RULES AROUND HERE BUSTER

oscarpiastri: i can't wait for y/n to kick their asses so she can come back and KICK YOURS FOR ME

maxverstappen1: she would NEVER

oscarpiastri: okay maybe she wouldn't, but my dad on the other hand ...

liked by @charles_leclerc

user185: charles just PLEASE GET ON THE MIC

user186: i'm about to lose my patience i'm not going to lie

user187: guys we have to remember that this is a complicated situation with a lot of different moving parts, as long as charles is there for her in REAL LIFE it doesn't matter what we're seeing

liked by @yourusername

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, user190 and 308,994 others

carlossainz55: what was it you said? all is fair in love and poetry.

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user191: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user192: not the childhood dog too ???

user193: these are unbelievable levels of hating

user194: i'd be impressed if he wasn't such an asshole

maxverstappen1: get fucked

carlossainz55: she shouldn't dish it out if she can't take it

maxverstappen1: she fell in love ?? and you thought that was a good excuse to take everything she's ever had

carlossainz55: she cost me my dream

maxverstappen1: as far i can remember, she's not on the fucking FERRARI BOARD GENIUS

carlossainz55: it's her pussy-whipped boyfriend that's the problem and she deserved this as soon as she choose him over her blood

maxverstappen1: you're insane and history will always remember you as the biggest crybaby loser to ever grace this sport

user195: so this ^^ is definitely referring to y/n's poetry

user196: are we living through scooter braun volume two

user197: @taylorswift PLEASE HELP

charles_leclerc: EAT SHIT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL

this comment was deleted

charles_leclerc: you are the lowest of the low and you will get what is coming to you

this comment was deleted

charles_leclerc: there's only so long i have to stay silent and the people will know just the type of person you are

this comment was deleted

user198: so is like carlos deleting this comments or ferrari?

user199: i bet it's ferrari

user200: 1. can they stop being allergic to fun 2. i think this has gotten past the need to uphold image like these are your employees and this is serious actually

user201: also like silencing charles when its CARLOS BEING THE MESSY ONE HE IS ACTUALLY STILL YOUR EMPLOYEE

yourusername: old habits die screaming

carlossainz55: you can spout all the 'poetry' you want it'll all belong to me anyway

yourusername: i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning

user202: stealing poetry? now that's a new low

user203: i'm gonna need someone to take one for the team and put a cheeky front wing in his tyre

georgerussell63: well this sounds like a job for me

charles_leclerc

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 893,450 others

charles_leclerc: lets go racing.

view all comments

user206: is this even charles? where are the emojis? where is the excitement

user207: i think we might be witnessing a lil PR takeover after his deleted comments tirade under carlos' recent post

user208: you'd think they'd at least get his tone right like the rest of his account is RIGHT THERE

user209: charles leclerc's PR team we now have beef

liked by @yourusername

maxverstappen1: ugh you people are useless

oscarpiastri: i'm not going to lie i'm losing my patience

maxverstappen1: for real i'm gonna need this court case to finish up fast so we can get back to being a united front of haters

oscarpiastri: and then we can also wrestle charles' phone back by force

olliebearman: PLEASE KNOW THIS ISN'T ME I LOVE Y/N AND WE WILL LIVE TO KICK ASS AGAIN

user210: oh so they quite literally took his phone?

olliebearman: whoops

user210: ollie coming for kid of the year

olliebearman: i can't be told off for accidentally leaving my phone out while in the car and accidentally making my password something easy to remember and accidentally telling charles that his PR team had posted something - accident i swear

user211: @maxverstappen1 can you confirm they're still grossly in love?

maxverstappen1: i do have the letters to prove so but i think he's going insane with withdrawals

user212: that's it GET ME TO MARANELLO RIGHT THIS SECOND I HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE

user213: yo i know we just got some confirmation from max but i can't help but think how lonely this must be for y/n

user214: for real if i was being sued by my family and had everything stolen from me i'd want more than some 'confirmation' through her bff in an instagram comment

carlossainz55: i hate to say i told you so @yourusername but that would be a lie i'm enjoying this so much

maxverstappen1: i want to fight you so bad but my therapist said that's bad

oscarpiastri: it's also illegal?

maxverstappen1: what's the point of being a rich white man oscar if i can't use to it to traverse the justice system and defend my bestie's honour

user215: @charles_leclerc get a backbone and do it like these two ^^

user216: i still have faith that he'll rain hell on that family when he's free

user217: well can he hurry the fuck up cause he's really shaping up to be the worst boyfriend of the year

user218: he has to get fucking loud HE CAN'T PROVE CARLOS RIGHT I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THAT WORLD

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 934,520 others

yourusername: i can do it with a broken heart

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user223: no no NO WE'RE NOT DOING ALL THIS GUESSING GAME SHIT WHAT WAS THE VERDICT?

user224: it's finished?

user225: that's what the spanish media are saying

user224: well in that case Y/N WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE YOUR POETRY BACK?

maxverstappen1: a wine evening without me? prison changed you

user225: SHE'S IN PRISON?

yourusername: STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M IN JAIL

maxverstappen1: want me to put some money in the commissary so you can buy cigarettes?

yourusername: i don't even smoke and i'M NOT IN JAIL

maxverstappen1: now you've done time can you employ some stricter parenting on oscar and ollie, they've gotten unruly with both parents absent

yourusername: i'm not an absent mother :(

oscarpiastri: SHE'S VERY PRESENT SHE'S BEEN TO EVERY RECITAL SHE CAN IN HER CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES

maxverstappen1: did you just refer to literal FORMULA ONE GRAND PRIXS AS RECITALS?

oscarpiastri: maybe i did

yourusername: he's allowed to call them what he wants

olliebearman: i feel sufficiently supported by you mum x

yourusername: i'm glad

olliebearman: family dinner when dad gets released from ferrari's top secret base jail?

this comment was deleted

maxverstappen1: did he just get sniped by ferrari's PR?

user226: okay cool got the main kids update but WHAT ABOUT LEO?

user227: please tell me he's been been in good care

yourusername: he's been my rock 🤞

user228: not the dog being more present than charles - it would be funny if it wasn't so sad :(

user229: so are any of you going to address the literal caption of this post

user230: there's two options here she either lost the court case or her and charles have actually broken up

user231: the fact carlos is not in this comment section actively gloating makes me think she might have actually won?

user232: but i don't want it to be the other option... charles and y/n are end game :(

user233: but he's been so so silent and that BULLSHIT response in the press conference

user234: idk the delusion in me has this theory ... she won the case but like t swift, doesn't have access to her old work so maybe she's heartbroken over losing that and then it's just exacerbated by her boyfriend's useless bosses that are holding him captive in italy (also he was totally coached to say that shit in the presser it's written all over his strangely expressive face)

user235: at this point i might go to italy and just prison break him out of there this is ridiculous

fin.

note: DON'T HATE ME YALL i promise it'll get better we must have faith in the man (i know i hate to put my faith in men) xx

extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: in comments!

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #guilty as sin?#astonmartinii

2K notes · View notes

tojikai · 11 months

Text

Sundered 2: EMBERS

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, mean!gojo(kinda), babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments, implied pregnancy, mentions of abortion

word count: 5.4k

a/n: it's not sad.

Pining so intensely for something you never had to the point where you physically ache.

Each step that you take away from Satoru’s house feels like a stomp to your already broken heart. Your eyebrows furrowed, feeling the waterlines of your eyes start to get hot and itch. You recalled the noises and laughs that you heard from them while you walked out of their door.

They have no idea how much you want to get down on your knees and beg them not to take away the only thing you have left.

Your feet feel heavy with each stride you make toward your car. You could taste blood inside your mouth as you bit your inner lip to channel the pain away from your heart and to your body instead. You found yourself looking for answers on why all of this has to happen to you. As if being replaced by the man you love so easily and having to see how he treats someone else a thousand times better than you were not enough, you also have to witness your own flesh and blood turn away from you. Am I really that far behind that woman?

Is she that much better that even my own child prefers her over me?

You placed your hands on the steering wheel, looking down at your lap as you let the tears fall. You kept glancing over at the gate, hoping that Satoru would come out, running with your baby in his arms. Yet, you don’t want him to see you crying miserably. You swallowed thickly, letting out a large breath in an attempt to get rid of the painfully heavy feeling in your chest.

Driving away was numbing, and all sorts of thoughts ran inside your mind. But above all of them, your eyes were focused on the toy store as it got bigger in your view. You wondered about what you could get your little love to at least make her smile when she comes home. You remembered how your gift to her, her favorite bear that she used to hug as she sleeps ever since she was an infant, was cast aside as she clings to her new ones.

Is that a foreshadowing of how you’d end up being in her life? It scared you.

Reaching the parking lot of the store, you looked at yourself in the car mirror, noticing your bloodshot eyes. You inhaled and let a big breath out slowly, puffing your cheeks as you assured yourself that it’ll be fine when she comes home later. Your head hurts so much but you can’t afford to care, stepping out of your car and heading to the front door of the store. The first thing you saw was a pregnant, young lady checking baby books.

She reminded you of yourself when you were still pregnant with Yui; curious about everything, eager to learn, and all was about the baby. You admit that it wasn’t like that at first, given that you were young and had to drop out of college at that time. You were anxious, torn between decisions, and terrified of what life would be like for you from that point in time. During that period, you and Satoru were ignorant but trying hard to figure everything out.

You met Satoru at a nightclub where you worked as a bartender. He was flashy, and women just flock to him as if it was the most natural thing to do around him but that night, his eyes were on you. What with persistent offers of buying you drinks and talking to your manager to let you off early for the night, you ended up in a luxurious hotel suite with him.

He even wrote his number on the price tag of the fancy lingerie set that he bought you after he ruined the one you were wearing the previous night. He was joking that you’ll never get enough so he’s providing you his contact for next time. You thought that would be the end of it. You didn’t think that it was just fate giving you a helping hand in advance because you’d end up with a child together.

You consider it a dumb mistake. You know that Plan Bs exist. But with a working student like you who couldn’t even have time to get a proper boyfriend, it slipped your mind. The first thing you did after you got the results was call Satoru. You thanked the heavens that he wasn’t seeing anyone, and that he remembers you. It was a tense meeting, what with you asking if he wants you to abort the fetus. Next thing you know, you two were already dealing with your mood swings.

“Look, I really want to work this out with you, Y/N. For the baby.” Satoru sighed, slamming the door behind him as he watched you sit on your old couch. You lean your elbows on your knees as you covered your face with your hands, harshly running them down your cheeks to wipe away the big, fat tears that fell from your eyes. There are just so many things going on with your life.

“I’m only 21, Satoru. I got my whole life ahead of me.” You looked up at his tall figure, frustration was evident in your eyes. You can tell that he was also distressed. His hair was messy, his jaw was clenched tightly, and even if you cannot see behind his tinted glasses, you can tell that he hasn’t been getting enough sleep. The dark half-circles under his eyes and the redness in them show just how exhausted and disquieted he has been in the past few days.

Satoru’s five years older than you. He was born to a rich family of politicians who don't and probably will never need support from him or the other younger generations in their household. He has a stable source of income, he could probably make life investments that could cover your yearly living expenses. He has nothing to worry about, he won’t be dropping anything if he decides to take in another mouth to feed. But you…

You’re basically your mother’s retirement plan and now you got pregnant with a kid of a man you barely know. “Y/N, listen to me.” He got down on his knees in front of you, trying to take your hands off of your face as you sob, struggling to catch your breath. What’s going to happen to you now? You didn’t even get to finish the degree that your mother was working her ass off day and night for.

“You won’t have to worry about anything, you know? I’ll handle everything you need—” He trailed, trying to calm you down as he gently grabbed your forearms. “You don’t understand!” You cut him off, snatching your hands away, aggravated that he’s not thinking about how it could affect everything in your life. “Then, what the fuck do you want to do?!” You flinched as he raised his voice at you, breathing hard as he backed away.

“You think you’re the only one who’s going to be affected by this? You think you’re the only one who’s being robbed of another future! Open your fucking eyes, stop being selfish!” Satoru snapped back, harshly taking his glasses off before throwing it across the room. You started to cry, whimpering as you used the collar of your shirt to wipe your tears away.

“I’m scared, Satoru. I’m just so scared. I can’t even take care of myself, how am I supposed to raise a child…” You broke down, turning your body away from him. There was a long pause, a moment of pure silence, save from your sniffs and Satoru’s ragged breathing.

You felt the couch dip as he sat down before pulling you to him, letting you cry on his chest. “I know, I know. I’m sorry.” You would be lying if you said that the back rub, the temple kisses, and his whispers of reassurance didn’t calm you down. Those thoughts were recurring in your head and now that you finally let it all out and got answers from him, you were soothed.

You blinked hard, shaking your head to get out of your trance. You went straight to the dolls section. You can’t believe you just had a flashback of Satoru comforting you in the warmth of his chest. Your mouth started to twitch, wishing that he held you like that earlier when his girlfriend was slapping into your face that they’re gonna give your child siblings. It shouldn’t hurt you, but it still did. You realized that this girl, this woman is gonna have everything you wish you had with Satoru.

You walked past the kiddie pools and trampoline section, stopping when you saw a playpen, almost similar to the one Satoru bought for your little girl but smaller. The size doesn’t really matter though, because you know that you don’t have enough space in your place for something so big, anyway.

Going closer to check the prices, you bit your lip as your eyebrows bumped together. You were calculating your monthly expenses along with the money for your savings in case of emergency. It’s expensive but you’re determined to cut back just to buy it. You kept your eyes on the tag as you took half a step away from it but your back was met by something, or rather someone behind you.

“It’s not cheap, is it?” A man’s deep voice boomed as you turned around, but your eyes were met by a broad chest. He’s big, you thought. He’s literally blocking your view. It didn’t help that you were short enough to have to look up to see his face. He was also staring at the playpen as he held the pushcart beside him.

“Y-yeah…” You answered, a bit awkward as you found yourself admiring the guy. You admired fathers who are active when it comes to their children. You grew up without a father so, you just found it endearing. You looked away from the man, gritting your teeth as an image of Satoru and his girlfriend shopping for baby things appeared before your eyes for a split second.

“Excuse me, sir. I still have to buy my daughter a gift.” You bowed slightly before turning away. He just nodded his head, too occupied to even look at you. You proceeded to check out the little dolls, hoping that you’d find something that’ll really catch your daughter’s eye. Picking up a dark-haired baby doll with big blue eyes sitting on a stroller, you smiled as you remembered how it has the same eyes as your baby.

You went to pay for the doll, and your heart was filled with joy despite the throbbing pain in your skull and the hot feeling behind your eyes. You reminded yourself not to forget to take your medicine. Thinking about getting sick and having to leave your child for a couple of days with them again makes you anxious, afraid that she’ll never want to go home to you again.

You hurriedly went home, driving in the midst of the rain. You put the little doll on the chair, ready to surprise your baby girl when she comes back. You had to bear with the time, constantly checking your phone if your little girl and her dad are on the way to you. Your heart swelled at the thought.

Though, you know that you’ll never be the one he comes home to, it’s still nice to think about.

—--------------------------------

“She really called me Mama.” Naomi giggled as she kissed his daughter’s cheek. Satoru smiled, watching them play together warms his heart. It made him feel like he was staring at his family even if he knows that his daughter isn’t hers. He pursed his lips, remembering the look in your eyes at what you heard the child say.

He felt conflicted, not knowing how to react to all of it. He doesn’t want to embarrass his girlfriend by correcting her in front of you. But he also felt bad that he just watched you walk out that door on the verge of tears. Satoru had you memorized after all this time, it wasn’t a long time but he used to watch everything you do.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, though.” Satoru sighed, shaking his head as he pushed a bit of Naomi’s hair away from her face. Her expression dropped as she adjusted the toddler in her arms. Satoru pulled her close to his side, hugging her waist as he thought about how to explain it to her without making her feel disheartened.

“I’m worried about how Y/N will feel about it, to be honest. I don’t know but it may worry her.” He kissed the side of her forehead before stepping away as he watches his daughter’s eyes look at them. He knows that she’s still too young but he feared that she’ll get confused by all of this.

Like why is her father not with her mother, and why is he holding someone else?

He wondered if she’ll grow to hate him for giving up on their family. “Oh, Is that so…I thought we were fine already.” Naomi’s voice was quiet as she bit her lip, making Satoru rethink. “It’s not that, I just think that maybe that’s how she might feel.” Satoru took one of her hands, kissing it before rubbing his thumb on her soft skin. “No, I understand, I got too comfortable. I’m just a girlfriend, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Satoru doesn’t want to make her feel like this, she’s just really attached to his baby. He knows that Naomi adores kids, they often joke around about it, so he could see why she’s excited about his daughter calling her Mama. Thinking about it now, maybe this shouldn’t be so bad. After all, she’s not gonna be just a girlfriend to him forever, right? Naomi is a great person, and Satoru thinks that it’s not impossible to have a future with her.

“Don’t say that. That’s just my assumption. She’ll tell if it’s not alright, I know. We’re co-parenting so we have to talk about those stuff.” Three squeezes to her hands made Naomi smile sweetly at him, her eyes as kind as the stars. “Yeah, discussions are important. I don’t want her to feel like I’m trying to keep her away from us.” The calmness in her voice comforted Satoru.

—-------------------------------------

After receiving a text from Satoru, you found yourself staring at the mirror, retouching your makeup like it’s gonna make him fall for you. Hopeless. Not long after, the doorbell rang and you dashed to the door. There, Satoru stood with Yui asleep on his shoulders. You took her bags, along with the teddy bear that she was hugging to her chest. Seeing her holding it again made you feel relieved.

“Are you feeling better now?” Satoru inquired, walking past you to put your kid in her little bed. You hummed in response, “She’s full, don’t give her any more milk. Naomi fed her before she fell asleep.” Her again. You thought as the small smile on your face dissipated. You’re just thankful that he didn’t take her with them here.

There was a moment of silence as the two of you watched your daughter sleep peacefully. A sigh escaped Satoru’s lips before he turned to you. He was about to say something, but closed his mouth, thinking. You took a deep breath, pursing your lips as you collected your thoughts. You started to rub your hands together, trying to get rid of the cold feeling on your fingertips.

Your communication issues with Satoru only worsened when he got a girlfriend. Seeing how he is with her made you doubt the importance of your words to him. It’s like if you get stuck in a room together with her and something happens, you’re almost certain that he’d accuse you first. You wouldn’t admit it but you yearn for him. You yearn for the way he acts towards her. You yearn for the things he does for her.

You yearn for the things he so easily, willingly offer to her; things you had to beg for when you were still together.

“Satoru, I just want to ask…Since when did Yui start to call Naomi Mama?” You looked at the ground, somewhat embarrassed of your question but can’t pinpoint why. It just made you feel…weak and insecure. And you are that. But you can’t let Satoru see it. You don’t want him to feel even more sorry for you. You can see it in his and his girlfriend’s eyes whenever they look at you. They probably pity you and the state you are in.

Alone. With no one to hold your pieces together but you.

“I don’t really remember. Look, I was going to mention that…” Satoru trailed, looking everywhere but you. He probably noticed your discomfort earlier. “I know it doesn’t seem right to you because she’s just my girlfriend but…” Here’s the “but” again. How come he can always find the good when it comes to her, even when she literally did you so wrong by letting your daughter call her Mama and even acting like one in front of you?

Ever since Satoru got a girlfriend, arguing with him started to feel like fighting in a war without any type of armor in your body. How are supposed to stand strong, when the fact that he’ll always be on her side was your weakness? There were times when you wanted to fight for yourself but you couldn’t bear to because you know that he was shielding her from everything, heedlessly deserting you.

“I didn’t really appreciate it. I mean… I-I just think she’s not in the place to—” You thought the words you chose to describe the situation were too risky when you were cut off by Satoru, taking his glasses off. You can’t read him but he’s looking at you with that apologetic gaze again. His face was filled with contrite and you can’t quite understand why. But like a mouse sensing danger, you wanted to run away.

“I…I’m thinking about proposing to Naomi.” It shouldn’t hurt. You told yourself again. You don’t have the right to feel hurt. This man disrespected you, hurt you, and made you feel so incredibly small yet here you are, wishing you were the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. “I know she’s just my girlfriend now, but it’s bound to change.” You suddenly just wanted him to leave. “She…she’d like to ask for permission to let our daughter call her Mom. You know she treats Yui like she’s her—”

“I don’t want to.” You whispered firmly through gritted teeth, cutting Satoru off. You don’t wanna hear it anymore. You can’t go through that again and you can’t let that happen again. “Yui is my daughter, and I don’t want her calling anyone else Mama.” You looked up at him with glassy eyes before turning away to walk out of the room, not wanting to startle the toddler from her slumber. Satoru was instantly on your tail, calling your name.

“She’s my daughter, too. Y/n, what is wrong? I know that you have your limitations and that’s why I’m here to talk about it with you, but why are you acting like this?” He walked closer to you, trying to catch your eyes. “I know it’s not just about this, I know you’ve been having problems with her but give a reason, at least. She’s been nothing but good to our kid. ” It’s getting hard for you to breathe as you tried to process your emotions and his questions.

You proceeded to the kitchen, hurrying to grab yourself a bottle of water before you collapse, but failing terribly when Satoru spoke the next sentence “Y/N, we all have to adjust, don’t be unfair to her, she doesn’t deserve it.”

“And I do?!” You shouted at him, taking him by surprise and making him take a step back.

“You think she doesn’t deserve any of that shit but I DO?!” You lamented, shaking your head in pain and disbelief. There were tears streaming down your face and no pattern of breathing can help you control it. You were able to keep it in when he shoved his new girlfriend in your face several months ago, but now it’s taking its toll.

You were about to get the clothes that he bought for your daughter on your way home from work but were met with a woman snuggled up to him on his couch. You hated him for allowing you to see them like that when he knows that you haven’t even processed your split yet because a month before that, he was saying that he could fix his shortcomings for you and his daughter.

You remember how sick you felt in your stomach when he introduced her, saying that you weren’t supposed to see them like that. It’s revolting; how he thought that you were upset because of what you saw and not because he just went back on his words. Naomi kept her head down, standing in front of you as she muttered an apology before scurrying to Satoru’s room.

Naomi was his father’s new assistant and unlike you, she got to finish her studies. Despite being classmates in high school, she was three years older than you due to the frequent relocation of her family. Regardless of her tough childhood, she was known to be a smart kid. No wonder his mother approved of her in such a short amount of time.

You and Satoru were never perfect but it doesn’t mean that you were never happy with each other before. The issues overpowered your interest in each other, making it hard for the two of you to bounce back. You admit that you’ve been negligent of Satoru at a certain point of your relationship but it was only because you got tired of his ways.

He would come home late, making you stay up all night because he failed to reply when you texted him, asking him his whereabouts. He’d be out drinking with friends, and it wasn’t a problem but you just wanted him to at least let you know so wouldn’t be worrying to the point that you can’t even sleep.

His mother was overbearing. You got pregnant by someone’s son in a one-night stand and that’s all she paints you with. You were belittled and told that you can’t even take care of the child properly. Hell, was she so eager for Satoru to leave you and find someone better who achieved something in life.

Consequently, this negligence led to fits of jealousy from Satoru. This drove you to quit the job you used to have after a coworker of yours who only wanted to help became the subject of his suspicions. His mother saw you getting dropped off by your friend while she was babysitting your daughter.

It was only because your car broke down and you don’t want to bother Satoru at work. You couldn’t really blame him for thinking that way because you know that he’s been feeling invisible to you which wasn’t true. You just don’t know how to deal with it anymore and you started to pull yourself away.

It got to the point where you couldn’t even communicate how you truly feel about him because it was overshadowed by your problems. You were arrogant enough to tell him that someone could treat you right and do much better and now, look at you; standing before him and his girl. Longing for him and eating the words you spitefully told him.

Pining so intensely for something you never had to the point where you physically ache.

The memory was tormenting, heart-rending, and traumatic to you. And now you get to watch them write their happy ending while you are here, left in the dust, drowning in the feelings that will never ever get recognized and will never ever be relevant.

It hasn’t even been a year, and he’s already planning to marry her. He’s been nothing but better to her, yet, he couldn’t even change his ways for you and your child? Couldn’t he learn to truly love you after everything you endured just to be with him? You know that you have flaws, and chose some wrong steps and paths in your relationship.

But you can’t bear to lose him like this. You know that you could have fought more for your relationship. He’d always say that you’d work things out. So, why did he stop? How could he stop choosing you so easily?

“How could you give her the world, yet refuse me the tiny bit of what I have left?”

Your voice was small as you backed away, defeated. Satoru couldn’t move. From everything that has happened that morning, he could tell that you’ve been on edge. To Satoru, the only thing that connects you to him is his daughter. He refuses to believe that after all of that, you can still make it work.

At least, that’s the realization he came about when he met Naomi. She taught him that love isn’t supposed to be strenuous, it isn’t always about fighting. Within his tumultuous relationship with you, she came around and showed him that he’s seen. That his feelings are valid. He came to the conclusion that maybe he just wanted to love you because you have a child together.

“Tiny bit?” He asked, frustrated that you just won’t let this go easily, irked that you always think you’re the only one having a hard time. If Satoru’s being honest, he’s just tired of it all. He just wants you to understand his point and get it over with. But now you’re crying in front of him and again, he doesn’t know what to do. He can’t even think of the right things to say or the right decisions to make. It’s like it’s all back to square one with you.

“You call it ‘tiny bit’ when I couldn’t even live my life because of you?! I’ve given everything, Y/N! I just want to be at peace with everything and I’m obviously not having it with you!” You couldn’t even breathe through the piercing ache in your chest from the daggers that are coming out of his mouth. Your hand reached over to your chest, grasping your shirt as his every word irreversibly pulverized your already wounded heart.

“I wish I never met you that night and I wish I never had Yui with you. You’re a thorn in my side, Y/N!” By the time he finished screaming at you, you were shaking like a leaf, grabbing a chair beside your table as your wide eyes stared at him in shock. Grief, mortification, and agony were plastered on your face, and only then did Satoru’s words sink into him.

“Y/N, I—” Before he could even form a proper phrase, a loud cry erupted from the other room. Yui. He watched as you quickly wiped away your tears, seeing the emotions mix inside your eyes until they turned into a weeping void with all the tears pooling inside them.

“I…I loved you, Satoru. And I hate that even now that you’re kicking me while I’m down for the sake of someone else, I still love you.” The crack in your voice had Satoru subconsciously moving closer to you, opening his arms to pull you into him but you were quick to flinch away, sniveling.

“Please, just—just go. Do whatever you want, just d-don’t take Yui away. I’m fine with it now, Satoru.” It’s almost as though something in you died when he spoke those words to you. You don’t know if he heard because you couldn’t even hear yourself. You could feel the beat of your heart in your chest and each one of them sends a burning ache to your body. “Just go, please.” You whimpered as you bit your upper lip, looking down on the floor.

Satoru can’t take his eyes off of your fragile figure as you leaned on the kitchen counter, slowly walking back to your daughter’s room. He remained unmoving until you exited the kitchen area. It was only after a few minutes that he decided to go, not bothering to wipe away the tears that rolled down his face as he listened to your muffled cries behind the closed door.

Each sob was filled with anguish that Satoru knows he’ll never be able to erase.

—------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks later have passed yet Satoru still doesn’t know what to make of himself. He couldn’t focus on anything that he works on. He couldn’t even workout properly, he always ends up getting angry. It was a good thing that both he and Naomi were swarmed with tasks; they didn’t have time to interact any more than what their jobs would allow. If they did, Satoru isn’t sure if he’ll be able to focus on her. She still has time to visit every week, though. During those days, she spends her time with Satoru and sometimes, Yui.

He makes sure to free his time and himself completely when he’s with his daughter so he can give his full attention to her. Satoru picks her up from your house, same schedule as before. Sometimes it’s you, but other times, it was your mother. “All I asked of you was to never break her, Gojo.” were the first words she spoke to him. Satoru can’t look her in the eyes. Your mother was a kind woman, humble and unjudging. And to have her talking to him like that, Satoru was beyond ashamed.

He couldn’t give her a reason, or an answer. All he did was apologize. Like he should. Naomi was unaware of it all and the proposal that Satoru was planning for her was set aside due to all that had happened. He just doesn’t think it’s the right time to plan about it when his relationship with you is strained. Yes, you’re not together anymore but you’re still the mother of his child and he wants to be civil with you, at least.

Yui kept asking for you even when she was with him as if sensing that her Mama was hurting. She’s always carrying the new doll that you bought for her. Satoru once asked her if you cry and she would simply shake her head. He gets nothing out of it, of course, she’s just a kid. But who else could he ask?

Satoru has no idea what you have been doing. He knows that you go to work, but other than that, he’s clueless about the places you go to and why your mother started babysitting his daughter more during the past few days. Satoru thought that maybe you just can’t stand seeing him anymore and is refusing to face him whenever he picks his daughter up. You have every right and reason to despise him, after all.

So, now he stands on the other side of your door, wondering if he’ll get to see your face this time or be welcomed with the frowning face of your mother. He knocked three times, like he always does, adjusting the collar of his shirt. To his surprise, it wasn’t any of the two women he was expecting holding the door open for him.

“Who are you?” A shirtless man with a muscular build stood before Satoru, a curious yet accusatory gaze scanned him like he was an intruder in his own woman’s home. He leaned on his tattooed arm against the doorframe, blocking the tiny view he has of the inside. It pissed him off, clenching his jaw for a few seconds before speaking.

“Who are you?” Satoru bit back, raising his brows in an attempt to intimidate the guy. He’s only a couple of centimeters taller than the stranger but he’s bigger. It wasn’t a big deal to him until the man opened the door wider. A short, deep chuckle escaped his lips before a smug smirk appeared on his face.

Tilting his head, the man gave Satoru a clear look at the scratches adorning his nape and the purple and maroon marks on his jaw. It made Satoru’s blood boil, unreasonably so.

“Think you know who I am now?”

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#angst #gojo satoru #gojo angst #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru angst #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk #jjk x reader

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bunnys-kisses · 16 days

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john price - a ramble cw: pwp, chokehold, daddy kink, breeding, possessive behaviour, baby trapping, drabble, dark-ish themes(?)

price can be a bit of a asshole. he loves seein' his girl squirm in his arms as he thrusts into your tight cunt. you couldn't fit him the first time you got together. he spent all night working your pussy until you were wet enough to let him fuck you. but you were such a good girl for him, weren't ya? he held you almost a choke-hold, not hard enough to cut the air but enough to keep you under him. he heard your pathetic little noises, 'you know when daddy's rough with ya? let me take what i want, because you're my good girl." his voice was like thunder in the back of your mind. you made a pathetic little noise and he moved your head up to face him. he heavily made out with you as his heavy balls hit against your ass. he told you he had breedin' balls and you weren't leaving his sights until he got you nice and bred. but don't worry, he'll take good care of ya. daddy makes sure his girl is right as rain.

"my girl." his voice was like heaven. your brain felt like goo that was daring to slip out your ear. you ignored all the red flags, the possessiveness, the willingness to breed you without as much as a conversation about it. you knew logistically he was tryin' to baby trap you. but the heat in your gut was yelling for the feelin' of price's cum in your pussy. to know he claimed you as his. a mark you couldn't get rid of. it made all the chemicals in your brain ignore the rational side of it. you choke out a moan as he squeezed your throat a little tighter. his cock rammed into your pussy. he spewed more filth into your ear as he moved. the bed squeaked under you. he said in a low ton, his accent thick on his tongue, "my good girl. ya, you know you are. that's why you'll never run and hide from me. because if you do, yeah? ya know what would happen?" his breath was hot on your ear, "i'd find ya, hunt ya to the corners of the earth. my baby girl ain't gettin' away that easy." he chuckled, "but you're just so good to me. you'd never leave me. you love me." love was heavy on his tongue. you whimpered in response, your head was swimming. he turned your head to look over your shoulder so he could kiss you. he was domineering, he was possessive and at times a man that you should be afraid of. but you could only bury your head in the pillows and let out a string of pathetic moans. his cock kept you full, you were drunk off it. the whole night you had been together, as he took you apart and examined what made you tick. what made his baby girl feel so good.

and you'd let him. as he came inside of you for the first time that night. you let him be the controlling freak he was. mark you, claim you, own you. if anyone saw you in that moment, they'd think you were a joke to feminism. but you moaned into the pillows and arched your back, so for the second round he could press against your cervix even. his soft words made you see stars, "that's it. that's a good girl."

but in the end, no matter how much you thought otherwise, you were price's good girl <3

#bunny writes #call of duty #bunny drabbles #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty smut #call of duty x reader #price call of duty #price cod #captain john price #captain price smut #john price smut #price smut #captain price #price x you #john price x reader #captain price x reader #price x reader

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native2princess · 26 days

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boat ride — rafe cameron

summary: rafe making it up to you after arguing over his ex-girlfriend sofia.

warnings/notes: fluff, pogue reader but it's not like a big part of the plot, soft!rafe. genuinely think this might be the first time i’ve written something that isn’t sexual/suggestive for rafe 😭 i need help. but i’m trying to write more fluff for him :) if you have any requests please send them! <33 love u all sm. also thanks to @starkeysprincess, my baby, for giving me the idea of a cute boat date that inspired this idea in my head !!!! <3333

pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader

“i just don’t get why you still need her in your phone, and why she still stays texting your phone!” you get defensive while sat in your boyfriend passenger seat. this was the second time you’d gotten in an argument over his ex-girlfriend, sofia. you trusted rafe, if you didn’t you wouldn’t be with him, but the thing was that; you didn’t trust her. her little texts asking rafe ‘how he was’ or ‘if he was busy and wanted to come over', you’d had enough.

“really? you’re going to genuinely get upset over this?”, rafe scoffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. part of him thought it was funny, only because the thought of you thinking that he wanted anyone else was humorous to him. he literally wanted to marry you, and some random ex-girlfriend in his phone was the last thing on his mind.

“yes rafe,” your eyes widened, waiting for him to say something. “yes i am.”

“s’fuckin’ stupid.” his right hand gripped the wheel, pissed off that you were so upset about his ex still being in his phone despite him always shutting her down. the thing that made you so upset about the whole situation was the fact that he let her down in the nicest ways possible. 'sorry, can't make it. maybe another time." sorry? what the fuck was he sorry for? maybe another time? does he want to see her?

“take me home.” you give up. you couldn’t be bothered to argue with him over this right now. your point always went straight over his head.

“are you serious?”

“does it look like i’m joking?” you pretend to scavenge for something in your purse, embarrassed that this was the second time you had to bring up this issue with rafe. did he not love you enough to just listen to you and block her?

rafe didn’t say anything, but instead put his truck in drive and made his way to your house, it was a silent 10 minutes.

your argument with rafe was long gone, you didn’t bring it up and neither did he. the ignorance was bliss for you, you liked to hope that after dropping you off at home and watching you silently tear up in his truck that night, that maybe he went home and blocked sofia.

you knew that wasn’t what went down, but the thought of anything else happening made you sick. so, you figured never bringing it up again would be more beneficial, even though you wanted to so badly.

“wanna go for a boat ride?” rafe let his phone fall to his chest and let out a yawn, both his hands making their way up your thighs that were rested on his legs. you two had tanneyhill all to yourselves, and sitting on the living room couch both occupied in your own tiktok for you pages was how you’d spent your time so far.

“sure,” you reply softly. one thing you loved about dating a rich kook was getting to ‘casually’ take a boat ride.

“cmon.” rafe pulled you out of your slumped position on the couch. "gotta surprise for you."

you smiled at him, wondering what the surprise could be. rafe wasn't always the best with surprises and such, but the bug smile on his made you think that maybe this time it would be different. his eagerness reminded you of a little boy on christmas.

"after you ma'lady," rafe chuckled and put his arm out, signaling for you to make your way out to the dock before him. he followed after you, "close your eyes." he took both hands and wrapped them around your face, covering your eyes.

"rafe!" you giggle. almost losing your balance, your grip onto his big arms, feeling safe when they're wrapped around you.

"hey! no peeking."

"i cant! with your big ass hands in my face!" the huge grin on your voice could be heard just through your voice.

"m'kay, ready?" rafe gets closer to you, his chest pressed up against back, he leaves a kiss on your ear.

"yes!" you couldn't contain your excitement anymore, you needed to know what your boyfriend had planned for you.

rafe dropped his hands from your eyes, but you kept one arm wrapped around his, not wanting to let go of him.

you were speechless. the string lights set up perfectly, complimenting the pink and blue sky, the wicker basket filled with all your favorite snacks, the white blanket laid across the floor of the boat, the pink and red (your favorite colors) colored gift boxes set up neatly, just waiting for you to open them.

no one had ever done anything like this for you before, tears welt up in your eyes, you buried yourself in rafe's chest, leaving a few tear stains on his grey t-shirt.

"i love you baby," rafe gave you a quick peck on the head. your tears and reaction almost getting a reaction out of him. seeing you with the biggest grin on your face had rafe literally doing cartwheels in his head. he swore he'd never love someone as much as he loved you, but there he was, spending all his money and time trying to make you happy.

"all this for me rafey?" you looked up at him with teary eyes. puckering your lips, waiting for him to give you a kiss, he does of course.

"well who else would it be for?"

rafe's ego would never let himself admit that this was all because he felt bad for arguing over his ex-girlfriend, but you knew it was. rafe had a soft spot for you and you loved it.

"i love you rafe."

#library #divider by v6que #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron one shot #rafe cameron fluff

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ariel26c · 3 months

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🎀Things I’ve learned about Shifting 🎀

1. Background noise doesn’t matter. I come from a Hispanic family household and let me tell you hun it’s freaking loud as hell. It’s like a zoo lol but guess what? I still shifted. At some point you will start to feel your CR kinda “fade away”. I have been in this state where I am in between my CR and DR. I can hear background noise from my CR but I still feel like I’m in a different room or I hear sounds from my DR as well. Has anyone experienced this?? Let me know, I’m curious 🤨

2. Have patience. Allow yourself to relax and naturally connect to your DR. Don’t stress about having random thoughts or having an itch or things like that. Have patience with yourself like seriously you got this babe. Sometimes for me it’s feels like it’s takes 1 or 2 hours until I feel fully connected to my DR. (It’s different for everyone btw) you may take less time than I do. Those things don’t matter if you decide that those things don’t matter.

3. Methods really aren’t needed. If you think about it all methods consist of the same thing usually. It usually consists of affirmations, visualization, subliminal audios, meditation, counting, blah blah blah. If you want to use a method, then do that but don’t force yourself to do a method that doesn’t resonate with you. If you don’t like counting, then don’t count. If you don’t like visualizing, then don’t visualize. Change things up a bit and listen to music that reminds you of your DR or do something that you think is fun.

4. Just because some people like to lie about their shifting experiences doesn’t mean that shifting is fake. Just like in every community there is going to be people that are dishonest or don’t have the best intentions but that doesn’t mean that shifting is a big inside joke. Don’t allow these people to discourage you from shifting to your DR or make you doubt in its existence. Don’t depend on other people's content to feel motivated or believe in shifting. Just KNOW it’s real and motivate yourself to shift. (even though motivation isn’t needed to shift)

5. Shifting is Real. I think we all should know this by now, but I don’t think people really fully understand just how REAL shifting is. I mean you are going to be able to use all of your senses. You will be able to taste food, see your reflection in the mirror, talk to people that may be considered as fictional in this reality, etc. The process of shifting is safe but if you are shifting somewhere that has violence or gore make sure you script your own well-being. High pain tolerance, no trauma, etc.

6. Time isn't important. Just because it's been 4 years or 5 doesn't mean you can't do it. Time doesn't apply to shifting because time is just man-made thing. We created the concept of time not the Universe. Don't blame the Universe for your "Failure". (Spoiler alert: it's not failure) You just need to realize that no matter what, it will happen. It is completely inevitable. Some people have shifted after 5 years so don't give up! It will be worth it.

7. You can't fail at shifting. When you do your method, you will shift to your DR or shift to your CR. You shift all the time. We are constantly shifting consciously or unconsciously. Manifestation and shifting are very much closely related. (But that's another discussion for another time) Just like how we are manifesting on autopilot we are also shifting on autopilot. So, when you do a sleep method, and you wake up in this reality instead of your DR you still shifted. (Just not to your DR) (Get it?)

I hope you found this post helpful! :)

#affirmations #desired reality #law of the universe #shifting #shifting realities #reality shifting community #reality shift #reality shifting #shifting community #shifters #shiftblr

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luvrxbunny · 9 months

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fangs

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x F!Reader

Summary: You see Miguel’s fangs for the first time.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, fangs, very minimal self-doubt, cum in pants (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 1.9k

A/N: I used google translate for the spanish so if anything is incorrect im sorry

‘Your package was delivered’

Your face brightens at the notification as you hop out of bed and rush to the front door. When you open it you’re met with the broad, muscular back of your boyfriend, Miguel O’Hara.

“Miggy?” You say with a laugh. “What are you doing out here? Oh my god, are you my package?!” You’re hunched over, laughing at your own joke as Miguel stands from his seated position, casting his large shadow over you.

“Hi, amor.” He places a kiss on your forehead and walks in. “How has your day been?” He asks as he strips off his suit top and walks to the bedroom but you don’t answer, still wondering about something.

“Why were you just sitting out there?” You ask while closing the front door and taking your slippers off. Miguel hasn’t said anything, letting a long pause draw out before answering.

“I was calming down.” He comes back out in a t-shirt that’s tighter than it needs to be and some gray sweatpants.

“The fight was pretty intense, a little demanding y’know? So I just wanted to- I wanted to calm down before coming inside… But how was your day?” You don’t let the subject change, still confused with his statement.

There have been plenty of times when Miguel would burst in, still aggressive and amped up from the latest fight, adrenaline still coursing through him. The first time it happened you were a little scared of course, you’d never seen him like that, eyes clouded with violence, his claws out in the air and threatening, with a deep scowl on his face. But that was a long time ago.

You’ve mastered the art of turning him from Spider-Man to Miggy. You learned it quite some time ago, which just furthers your confusion from his response. He’s rummaging through the cabinets, muttering about how he’s starving and you realize he hasn’t met your gaze since you found him which is incredibly unlike him.

“Miguel, is that the truth? I mean- You’ve come in all amped up before so…” You trail off as Miguel freezes in the kitchen before sighing and running a hand through his hair. He closes the cabinet gently and turns to you, eyes cast downward before meeting yours. He takes another breath and walks to you. “It’s the technical truth uh… The whole truth is that my fangs were out and… I just- I don’t want you to see them.” He finishes his sentence and walks past you, to the bathroom and closes the door.

You stand at the entrance to the kitchen in a stupor as you process his words and go chasing after him. You’re pounding on the bathroom door, begging him to let you see them, to let you kiss him with them out, and every other thought that comes to your mind, hoping it lightens the situation. You stop pounding after a few minutes, arms growing tired and getting a little embarrassed at his silence. You make your way over to the couch as you wait for him.

You think about what he said, that he doesn’t want you to see his fangs and you feel a little pang of hurt in your heart that ripples through your body.

He doesn’t want me to see them? Why though… Does he think I won’t like them? Does he think my opinion of him will change or something? I love him though, doesn’t he understand that?? Maybe it’s something super intimate, maybe he just doesn’t feel enough for me, for him to expose himself like that. Maybe he doesn’t trust me enough to be that vulnerable, to give all of him to me…

Your thoughts turn your mood sour as Miguel finally emerges from the bathroom, teeth brushed and face newly washed. “I don’t want to show them to you.” The words strike your heart again as you nod your head at him, not even looking up at him as you fall into your negative thoughts. He watches you stare into the carpet, obviously deep in thought but you look sad.

“You okay, hermosa?” He wipes his hands in the towel around his neck as he sits beside you on the couch. You don’t hear him, too inside your own head, leaving him ignored. He watches you for a bit before grabbing one of your thighs and turning your body to face him, knocking you out of your trance. You have a deep, heartbreaking expression on your face that you quickly mask with happiness when your eyes meet his. “I asked if you were okay, baby.”

“Oh! Y-yeah! Yeah, I’m fine, sorry.” You giggle at him but it sounds hollow, making him guilty. He already knows why, he knows how your mind works, he knows how you think. He pulls you in, one leg is extended past him and the other is folded on the couch, touching his leg, your face a few inches from his.

“Mi cariño, no tiene nada to do with you, okay? Nothing. I just-” He emphasizes ‘nothing’, willing you to believe him. He’s absently rubbing your calf as he tries to piece together what he wants to say. “They’re weapons. I feel like… I don't think I want you to see that… A part of me that’s a weapon. You look at me like… como si fuera tu todo, like I hung the stars… I love that and I don’t want it to change. Nunca quiero que eso cambie.” His eyes are looking at your calf, how his hand wraps around it instead of you.

(“My love, it has nothing to do with you okay?” “...like I'm your everything…” “I never want that to change.” )

If he had been looking at you he would’ve seen the look of utter disbelief that rested on your face. You put your hand over his and pull yourself closer to him, placing a kiss on his forehead before speaking. “Miguel, I look at you that way because, despite the way you feel about yourself, I believe that you deserve every good thing the world has to offer. I want you to know that you don’t have to show them to me if you really don’t want to but be aware… I will love you for the rest of my life.. and there is nothing that can change that, my feelings for you literally cannot decrease.”

He stays silent, avoiding your gaze still but you let him. You know that expressing himself is hard for him and hearing people speak positively to him is even harder. You giggle softly at his silence and place another kiss on his head. You’re about to get up from the couch when he pulls you back in, pressing his lips to yours with a bruising intensity that has a fire starting up in your stomach. Your lips part for him as he sighs into you, his hand grips your hair and he grunts as you feel something push against your mouth. He’s breathing faster, kissing you more passionately as you try to pull away.

Eventually, you break from his grasp and try to look at him but he’s already turned from you. You want to protest but don’t want to push him. You bring one of your hands to rest at his nape, playing with some of the hairs there, trying to soothe him. You’re about to tell him that he doesn’t need to turn away, you can leave until he’s calmed down but he turns to you. His mouth is shut but his eyes are so fragile, like they’re pleading with you to be gentle. He holds your eye contact for a bit before opening his mouth in a smile-grimace expression.

A gasp slips from your mouth and your hands come up to hold his face, pulling it to yours. You inspect his fangs as his warm breath floats over your face. You bring one hand from his face to tail over one of them, earning a flinch from Miguel but you run your other thumb across his cheek, attempting to soothe his worries.

They’re much bigger than you expected, they look like they’d barely fit in his mouth. They’re smooth and glossy like marble, cleaner than you expected too. You wonder silently if he lets them come out, brushes them, and then retracts them as your other hand comes from his cheek to his mouth. They’re thick, they look like they could leave a sizeable puncture wound if he bit you. Your fingers squeeze around both fangs, feeling their width for yourself. Your fingers run along the length of his fangs and then go up to his gums.

You’re completely captivated by his teeth, you haven’t even looked back up at him since he opened his mouth. You absently caress his fangs while inspecting his gums, trying to understand where they go when retracted. You give up on that when your thumb runs over the bottom of his fangs.

He groans out, loud and ragged against your face.

Your eyes flicker up to look at him and his eyes are rolled back into his head, eyebrows furrowed as he moans out a loose rendition of your name. You’re staring at him in awe as he mutters out a mix of unfinished words. You immediately look down into his lap and see a patch of dark gray spreading out.

A moan rips from your throat as you press your hand against his hard, twitching, leaking cock and kiss him. His hips instantly twitch up into your hand, using the friction to prolong his orgasm. He’s moaning into your mouth, his hands are frantic as they push your head into his face, his fangs digging into your lips almost painfully. You slide your tongue into his mouth when he moans again, you explore it, feeling the fangs instantly and running your tongue over them.

The action earns a gut-wrenching whine from Miguel as he starts to tremble. His hips are still bucking up into your palm, overstimulating himself as his cock spurts out mini loads.

You pull away from him slowly, your hand gently massaging his cock as he comes down. He drops his head onto your shoulder as he pants, unsteady syllables of your name falling from his lips.

He lifts his head from your shoulder once his cock stops jumping in your hold. There’s a rare pink hue over his face as he leans in to kiss you. You accept it with a smile, kissing him back before pulling away again.

“So…” You start semi-awkwardly, a light laugh in your tone as he groans out, embarrassed. “Did that feel good? Are they sensitive?” A shuddering breath leaves him as he recalls how your fingers felt gliding over his fangs, how arousal punched into his gut the moment you touched them.

“Yeah… It felt-” His sentence is cut off with a whisper of a whine as he thinks about it, breathing speeding up, chest heaving at the fresh memory. You’re surprised at this, you’ve never seen him so delirious so… fucked out. “Me sentí tan bien, bebé. N-no sabía que me sentía así. I loved it so much, you made me feel so fucking good, amor. Te amo tanto, cariño.”

(“I felt so good, baby. I-I didn't know I felt like that”... “I love you so much, darling.”)

A smile graces your face at the one phrase you understand, ‘Te amo’. You pull him in for another kiss before whispering. “Good.” He groans and pulls you into his lap, whining when your weight presses against his sensitive cock. You smile into his lips and kiss him again, pulling away again to giggle at him.

“ ‘S not funny.” He grumbles out as he leans back, laying down on the couch with you on top of him. You continue giggling into his neck and you can feel his cheeks fatten up with his smile.

You guys stay there for the rest of the night, intermittently waking up to smother the other in kisses before falling back to sleep.

Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

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