#this is what's so unbelievably creepy about god!jack

[carveredlunds]

— Invasion of the Body Snatchers by Jack Finney

[dewracle]

Vessel's ABC's

PAIRING - Vessel x reader, Vessel x polyves (Briefly mentioned)

WARNING - NSFW! Mentions of breeding kink, sexual piercings, cum play, overstimulation

AUTHOR'S NOTE - Hello my lovies! I've been sitting on this for a while now, I thought it would be best to slowly start doing headcanons and blurbs to work myself back into writing. I hope yall enjoy!

WORD COUNT - 1,177

Master List

❥ A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

➛ As soon as the both of you cum, he’s kissing your face softly praising you for how good you did for him.  ➛ Always gets up and gets you some of your favorite snackies and drinks, will gently rub your back while you eat. 

❥ B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

➛ His? He loves his stomach, cannot tell me otherwise. Why else would he always have it on display? ➛ Yours? Your eyes, he loves to stare into them as he’s gently rubbing your sides pulling you closer. 

❥ C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

➛ Haha he paints you pretty with his cum, purposely pulling out just to cum on either your hole or face.  ➛ Pretty boy also will crave your cum, please give it to him or he’ll beg

❥ D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

➛ Creepy and dirty? Yes please.  ➛ Has stalked his partners, still means he has seen you masturbate, watching the way you pleasure yourself. Yeah so when yall do fuck, he knows how to please you. 

❥ E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

➛ Fairly experienced. He has had multiple partners in the past, and considering he has multiple now, I’d say he knows what’s going on. 

❥ F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

➛Our boy is a romantic man, he’ll take you from behind in a spooning position. He’ll wrap his hand around your throat while pulling you back, kissing you while hooking one of your legs over his hips. Yeah...

❥ G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

➛ Pretty serious in the moment. He can sometimes crack a joke when he can tell you’re struggling. 

❥ H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

➛ Very neatly trimmed. He loves his happy trail and thinks it’s enjoyable when you run your hands down it to grab his cock

❥ I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

➛ It’s intense but it varies on the scene y’all have set.  ➛ Can be very romantic and loving when yall are making love. Sweet kisses and gentle touches  ➛ But he can also fuck you till you’re crying and begging for him to stop. 

❥ J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

➛ Sweet boy barely gets time to Jack off and empty his balls. He’s always so stressed out with the band and then having to deal with Sleep.  ➛ But when he does it's because he away from you, he’s touching himself slowly, dipping his hand into his pants, biting his lip to stop the breathy moan...

❥ K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

➛ I’ll give you the top kinks... ➛Ownership. He loves to feel like he owns someone like they need him.  ➛ Breeding kink. Gods the man just wants to put a baby in you even if you can’t carry it.  ➛ Dare I say.. daddy kink? Just the reaction to you calling him daddy.. think about it. 

❥ L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

➛ Woods. Yup, he loves the woods the most. Loves taking you near where all the offers are given. Offering YOU up like the finest treat to Sleep...

❥ M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

➛ Gotta say his biggest turn-on might be your support. He feels safe and loved with you around.. it just makes his cock unbelievably hard for you.  ➛ Bonus: if you are into it, seeing you wear a collar with his name on it. 

❥ N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

➛ Public sex. I don’t see him being the type to take you in front of people yall don’t know. He likes to keep that separate and away from the fans 

❥ O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

➛ REALLY likes receiving it, I mean openingly moaning, pulling you closer by the back of your neck, face fucking you. Loves it so fucking much.  ➛ Will give it but always takes more than what you offer. Pushing you into overstimulation as his mouth just works over you…like I said, he really likes your cum

❥ P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

➛ It can vary but most of the time even when it’s a rough dirty fuck in the back of the bus, he likes to go slow… Takes his time to feel you wrapped around him while he drags moan after moan out of you. 

❥ Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

➛ “Quickie” you say… he doesn’t do fast fucks. Yes, he’ll take you when he needs you but he likes to savor your taste and your pleasure. 

❥ R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

➛ He doesn’t like to risk his identity being shown, so nothing like public stuff.  ➛ Will try new things as long as it’s discussed beforehand. Safety matters in his eyes. 

❥ S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

➛ Forgive me god for I have sinned.  ➛ You CANNOT tell me he doesn’t last for hours!! Of course, he’ll cum but he’ll get right back at it!!  ➛ Have you seen the way he’s always on stage singing? And he goes to the gym? He knows he can fuck for a while so buckle in. 

❥ T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

➛ Owns a Fleshlight and a cock ring. Sometimes he likes to use them on the other vessels soo... ➛ Will be open to using any toys you bring into the bedroom, might forget about them if I’m honest. 

❥ U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

➛ Constantly. Fucking constantly teasing. He will have you wet/hard the whole fucking day and then IGNORE you when you beg for him to fuck you.  ➛ He knows you like it when he doesn’t wear a shirt, purposely taking it off in front of you and pushing his pants down just low enough that there’s a happy trail...

❥ V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

➛ If he’s in control he’s kinda quiet, just groaning and sometimes moaning.  ➛ Does whisper in your ear from time to time, “Fuck darling.. you're sucking my cock in so well.. need that don’t you”

❥ W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

➛ Love me or hate me.. he has a prince Albert.. thank you. 

❥ X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

➛ Some piercings here and there (cough on his dick)  ➛ Does have some scars from sacrificing blood to Sleep.. and from you. 

❥ Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

➛ He wants you every day of every hour. Reasonable he knows he can’t have you all the time but he’ll try his damnest to. 

❥ Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

➛ My version of the vessels don’t really sleep.. but if he does fall asleep good luck waking him up. Will sleep for 3 days at a time. 

Master List

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A bunch of short ones today; I hope you’re enjoying your weekend!

Anonymous asked:

I was just scrolling through your art and let me tell you, the way you do highlights is sooo satisfactory!

Thank you so much, Anon <3 Super happy to hear that!

Anonymous asked:

I found someone on insta with a daily malleus account who reposted your art (credited) but I figured you might wanna know, idk who exactly runs the account but I have a screenshot. It’s the Sebek x malleus piece where Sebek is flustered over shirtless malleus

Thank you for letting us know, Anon! We really appreciate it. And I think we found it… I’ll deal with it a bit later :)

Look at some of the comments, this is exactly why I don’t allow reposts on other sites, especially insta/facebook/tiktok (the big three lol): we can’t really control who is going to see our content there. We have all the warnings on our blogs, there is a certain understanding that if you follow us, you have to be aware and not mind other content that we post. It kind of sucks when people try to strip that control away from you and post your work to other spaces, when people can shit on us for me drawing things that I want to draw. We probably have some of these people blocked both here and on twitter, and yet they still get to see our stuff when it’s reposted and share their oh so important opinion.

Anonymous asked:

I can't tell if I simp for Crewel because I like him or I just want his coat

Anon, this right here is the biggest mood ever.

It’s probably so unbelievably tender and fluffy and satisfying to touch…

Anonymous asked:

Do you have any thoughts on Jack/Epel? It's not one of my faves but I think they're cute

They really are cute, but unfortunately a little too cute for us :( But we don’t have anything against  them. But I talked about them a little bit in this post (the very last ask there).

Anonymous asked:

First Halloween JP voicelines were wild lol.

"I want to fill you up to the brim... with fear of course." -Cater

"Let's have all the fun we want tonight. Now, let me hear you scream all the way to the moon." -Azul

"The sight of you screaming as you try to hurry away... it's irresistible. I cannot hold myself back from chasing after you!" -Jade

"Who would like to be tied up in fear?" -Jade

"First, I will wrap your whole body in bandages ... just kidding." -Jade

"There's no need to look so frightened; I won't bite." -Jade again

"Yield yourself to me and become my servant." -Vil

"Struggling against me is useless ... you won't get away." -Epel

"You might find yourself trembling unable to sleep the whole night." -Lilia

There's also everyone being flirty and then Octavinelle inviting us to spend next Halloween in Coral Sea with them and how fun it is but in Jade's vignette they say Halloween under the sea is terrifying and detail their own near-death experiences during it so... what is their play here

God it was such a good event with so many great and honestly very horny voicelines lol It’s like the NRC students just can’t be normal, for them to scare someone automatically means to also flirt with them and also maybe even assault them. These boys aren’t alright… and I love it a lot.

Epel’s one is hilariously adorable though, like awww you scawwy vampire. Having it here next to Lilia’s is amazing lol

Also Jade straight-up said that he can’t help but chase if someone is running away from him, what a creepy rapid dog.

[barren-heart]

If you’re Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, or Jared Padalecki.

STOP.

Read this post.

Dear J2M,

This is an open letter for you three written by a couple of unhappy passionate fans.

We write this to you because we know at least one of you has a secret Stan account and creeps on the destiel hashtag from time to time. Don’t lie. (Ahem. Misha Collins. Looking at you, Sir.)

With the subtle hints and possibility of a revival, us here at BarrenHeart (Bee and Jay) have some thoughts on what we think a reboot/continuation/revival would look like if it was done well.

Note: we don’t speak for the whole fandom(obviously). And we don’t even speak for all of the Cas/destiel fans. This is from our observation of the fandom after 15x18 and the finale, plus our own opinions.

Here are our demands suggestions for the potential revival.

--Castiel--

First things first. Castiel is brought back.

And by that, we mean he is either shown to be rescued from the empty, Jack rescues him from the empty, or by some other means, that man is not left there to suffer for all of eternity.

Castiel is a lead character.

Not a guest star, not “and Misha Collins.” No. Misha Collins gets to be in every d*mn episode. He is an equal lead alongside Dean and Sam. Which leads into the next point.

Castiel gets his own storyline.

It can be connected to Dean in some way, but he needs his own arc, y’all. Don't care what that is, but he IS his own character. So, some form of personal growth or whatever needs to happen. He is a badass and deserves a good storyline. Also…

Give this M-- F-- (mother father) his wings back!

Yes, he died without ever having his wings return to their full power. Like? We know he was nerfed so he wouldn't overpower Sam and Dean. Prove to us that he can be a fully powered badass and still work alongside Sam and Dean. No need to get rid of that.

Human!Cas does not mean pathetic Cas.

There is a divide on whether Castiel should stay an angel. Personally, we like human Cas. However, human Cas was shafted in the series. If you make him human in any way, shape, or form, he’s gonna still have to be a badass. Don’t whimp him!

He can be a good hunter/pretend FBI agent just like Sam and Dean!

So, make him one! Let him do more cases. On his own. With other people. With Sam. With Dean. He can fight without powers, too.

Give him love!

For the love of freaking Jack, let that man know he is loved by people. Not even mentioning anything romantic, he still needs platonic love y’all. Let Sam say it, let Jack say it. Let anyone in his family tell him that he is loved. Not once in this series did Cas hear that anyone loved him. So, fix it!

New style, anyone?

Cas needs other clothes! Please now. The black trenchcoat we never saw in-show? Boss. Cas in a black leather jacket? Coolness. Hunter plaid? Do it.

Confession Resolution

Speaking of love, come to some conclusion please about him and Dean. Give a resolution somehow, somewhere. We personally don’t really care how it’s done, but there needs to be something said here. You cannot just drop a confession there and just leave like it never happened. So, talk about it.

Adding this, I swear, if this is bros only, you WILL lose Cas fans. So, think about what you’re doing.

--Sam--

Sam is important!

Now, personally we have a soft spot for Sam. His character arc in Season 1-5 was great. Demon blood, powerful Sam was amazing. So, don’t sideline Sam. Seriously. We are gonna say in an unpopular way (as if this post isn’t already unpopular to some), but Sam got sidelined real hard in the last few seasons of the show. Now, was that what Jared wanted? Don’t know. But, Sam needs his own storyline too that isn’t just revolved around Dean. Figure it out.

Witch!Sam

Speaking of which, let this man be powerful. Sam is best when he has powers. Sorry but also not. He has been given all of Rowena’s (who is arguably the best witch around) spell books and decides to not really do much with it? No. He’s becoming a BAMF witch. Full-out, no word spells and shit. End point.

Sam in Charge

He’s not just a baby brother. He’s a grown man. Give him room to grow. Allow him to be a leader. Let him lead a group of hunters, witches, a whole team of people! He’s strong on his own, too. He's a big boy. Prove it.

He should fall in love.

Like, get married and all that. It’s a part of his arc, so keep it there. No blurry wife, my god! Personally it should be Eileen. She’s a badass. They also have a lot in common! Holy hell. They make a good team. So, keep that suggestion in mind.

Let him have the hero’s journey.

We want a good ending that shows growth for this character! He saw himself as a freak with powers, so…maybe he can use his powers now in a way that in empowering instead? Let him have an ending that doesn't just return to the beginning. Let him have gone through all of this changed for the better.

Don't be creepy.

Still keep the brotherly bond with Dean, but don’t make it weird, y’all. Don’t. Please.

Sam as a dad.

He can have a kid. But, Dean Jr? Eh. You might want to reconsider some other (Bobby) possibilities.

--Dean--

Now, with Dean, I wanna make this clear.

DO NOT K word THIS MAN.

This man here has dealt with unbelievable trauma, suicidal thoughts and even almost died by suicide in the show (okay, it was for another reason, but still!) He dies way too many times in this show. It’s not new anymore. Perhaps, when the show was newer, death might have been a bittersweet ending. But, now. It’s tarnished. It happened too much and the message of “carry on” got tainted to mean “there is only peace when you die.” That’s not okay.

Resolve his issues!

He has so much pain and trauma. Let him seek help. Let your audience know that it’s okay to process these emotions. Let him heal. He deserves it.

Dean’s internal struggles

This is piggybacking a little off of point two, but Dean has a lot of things he needs to figure out. We feel like his journey is more internal. While processing his trauma, he needs to learn that it's okay to be himself. This could include things about himself that he feels ashamed of or scared to admit. Things he may have repressed or suppressed over time. No more hiding who he is or brushing it off or making jokes. Be your true self, Dean. It's time.

Dean’s still important, of course

That said, Dean should still be integral to the overall narrative of the plot. Of course he's gonna go head to head with the Big Bad of the season/limited series, but he really should focus on what's inside first before he can take this monster down.

The Bro bond

No more dependent/unhealthy bond with Sam. Of course they are family and brothers, and will always be close. That's perfectly fine. However, its important to note that Dean was Sam’s mom/Dad most of his whole life. And, well, that never came to a resolution. Please let Dean resolve this issue. Sam is grown and older now, and even though Dean will always feel protective of him as his Big brother, Dean shouldn't feel like his life only revolves around taking care of Sam. There is more to Dean and his life.

Dean is complex

Also, Dean is not only about cars, burgers, and pie. It's like some of the writers forgot this. There are so many things/interests of Dean’s that are really cool and add to the complexity of his character. Keep those things.

He needs to resolve his issue with Jack.

He never said sorry to the kid. Not once after telling Sam that Jack wasn't family. He needs to tell Jack he is loved.

Speaking of which, Dean needs to tell Cas he loves him.

Okay. Who knows if you will make destiel reciprocal at this point.

Do we think Dean would have reciprocated based on context clues and what we have seen in the show? Yes.

Do we think this love is romantic? Yes.

Do we think you'll actually fully make it canon in a reboot/continuation? Eh.

Regardless, Dean loves Cas, so make it known.

Other demands considerations.

‘The found family’ needs to not be forgotten.

All the friends that were made along the way need to be included. What happened with Garth was great, actually. Do more of that. And by that, we mean include Jody and Donna. What are the girls doing now? Wayward sisters anyone? Bring Kevin back. Don't leave him to roam the earth all along like that. Either make him human again like Eileen or send him to rest in Heaven.

Where’s Eileen?

Hello??? Where? Tell us she made it back.

Claire

No idea if you can get Kathryn Newton back, but it would be cool at least for one episode. Please. Kaia? Resolve her storyline.

Also, Charlie.

Wtf happened? That was not resolved. We love Felicia Day. Charlie’s friendship with Dean is amazing. She deserves a few episodes.

Crowley!

Seriously. What happened to Mark was super disappointing. You gotta bring him back. His death wasn't great. Bring him back and give him his damn line already!

Jack!

I'm not fully on the Baby!Jack train, but he does deserve a normal life. He's three years old technically. He had no normal life whatsoever. He deserves that. So, give him that.

More Rowena please!

That's it. She's awesome.

Have a wedding.

No, really. Someone's gotta get married. Our pick: Sam and Eileen. Charlie is also a good contender for having a wedding with her partner, too. So there. Weddings are happy. We want a happy ending.

I will reiterate. Team free will lives. That's it.

Okay. Now, moving on to the next part of this. The elephant in the room. The thing a lot of us actually want from this, but frankly, we aren't sure if you'll do it.

Explicit Destiel.

If you've read this far J2M, then you're probably wondering when this was going to be addressed. So, here are the stipulations on destiel.

Go big or go home.

Yep. We said it. Make it explicit, full out, no ambiguity.

Honestly, you might be thinking what you could do to make it explicitly canon? Well, since there were tons of people who still think Cas’ love confession was just a platonic exchange between two bros (like wtf? How?), you're gonna have to spell it out for people.

But, some things that we may perceive as romantic, some people may not.

--Like, holding hands could be considered platonic between two men to some people.

--Cheek kissing could also be considered platonic to some people.

Not to say we need Jensen and Misha doing full on *** scenes to prove anything, but something more than a hand hold. Okay? Okay.

What we’re saying is basically, you're gonna have to kiss. On the lips. Yep.

So...I guess you'll have to figure out how you want to do that.

On when to make it canon:

You can decide if it makes sense to make it canon towards the beginning or towards the end. Honestly, there could be an argument for either. If it's made canon earlier, you could prove there can be a relationship alongside the main storyline. If you wait until the end, you'll leave fans wondering if you'll actually do it. But, the kiss being the major event of the finale could be worth it. Whichever you do, remember there are upsides and downsides to both.

Other other considerations:

Just realize who your fanbase is now. We’ve grown and changed. Like Becky, your fans have gone through a huge change in what they want from the show. Is the fandom all on the same page? Nope. Will they ever be? No.

You will not please everyone. That's a given. But, a lot of fans want to see the show wrap up in a better way than what we got. Destiel fans aside, the finale was not great overall. There are plenty of negative finale reviews that have nothing to do with destiel.

On top of that, society is changing. Slowly. The attitudes in regards to lgbtq media is quite different than before. You have the chance to make history. Really. If you make this canon, that will be a part of your legacy. You'll hit the news. I mean, 15x18 wasn't even the finale and it trended #1 that day.

We suggest that if you do decide to make it canon, it’s meaningful and you take the time to do it right.

So, consider your fans. Consider the part of the fandom that trended your show over the election. Consider the fans that trended a fictional wedding on Valentine's Day. Consider Misha/Cas fans who felt slighted. Consider your LGBTQA + fans. Just, think about what the reboot could achieve. What it could mean to a lot of people.

As always, we just want happiness and peace when we are done.

Thanks for reading Misha J2M.

Sincerely,

Bee 🐝 and Jay 🐦

[iron--spider]

I woke up at 3am yesterday to watch The Devil All the Time and I’ve been thinking about it since. I’m gonna put my thoughts and feelings and a review of sorts behind the cut, because I am gonna talk about it freely, so there will be spoilers! So don’t click if you don’t wanna see. I’ll also be discussing the content of the film and I know that might bother people, so that stuff is in here, too! And it’ll be really long because you know I can’t shut up.

So, I loved it. I loved it loved it loved it. I read the book a long time ago when I first found out Tom was gonna be in it, and the only problem I had with the book was that the POVs would change in the middle of a paragraph lmao, but other than that I thought it was pretty perfect. I knew the movie was gonna be pretty brutal, because the book is brutal, so I was prepared.

-BUT I think the critics HIGHLY HIGHLY exaggerated how bad the content was. Like, seriously, they acted as if this was gonna be a Saw movie. I was preparing for blatant, horrific gore, but it didn’t live up to their dramatics at all. There’s blood and nasty situations, but every single episode of Game of Thrones is worse than this movie, as are most episodes of any crime drama on a paid network. I actually thought they were super, super tactful of all their horrific shit. The dog death was off screen and the shot of the body (described by the critics as literally traumatic) was so quick (enough to shut your eyes) and in the dark. I also argue that particular moment is extremely important for Arvin’s journey, because it’s the moment he truly turns on his father and turns on religion entirely, and he carries it with him his whole life (it’s what he flashes back to when he says “I know what my daddy did” because it’s the marker of all Willard’s mistakes) and it winds up being one of the last things he does before he leaves everything behind. Burying Jack’s bones. So, like, I despise dog death or any animal death in my entertainment, but it’s important here and handled well. And all the worst death scenes are either extremely fast (Helen’s and Gary Matthew’s) or shown in negative (all the photos). I think Bodecker’s headshot with Bobo is probably the worst and is also pretty quick. I don’t know if this means I’m a jaded bitch, but God the way they were all whining and crying, I thought it’d be a million times worse. It could have been, with the book’s descriptions, so it was actually pretty tame. Lenora’s death affected me the most and they cut away from that, too. I guess it’ll still bother some people, but there are many, many mainstream things that are far more violent and gory than this was.

-I thought it was a beautiful movie. I never mind films that are slightly slower but I love ones that use their time to lay things out and really show us what’s going on, build the ambiance and the relationships. I loved the narration (which I was worried about), and it really made me feel like we were visiting a moment in time that was important. Like something that was written and should be learned about. Rumors in a town you’re passing through. The ghosts of past trauma and transgressions looming over everyone that’s left.

-I liked the changes they made with Roy and Theodore because I thought that storyline kinda meandered in the book and I’m glad that Roy was actually gone the whole time and not just neglecting to come back to Lenora.

-The only real complaints I can make, I’ll get out of the way here: I wanted a little bit more time with Carl and Sandy. Carl was really creepy, but he could have been much creepier. In the book he was the one looking at the pictures constantly, Not Sandy, and that really showed that he was the one with the sickness, the one pushing them forward and orchestrating it all. I thought they did well with showing how Sandy deteriorated in her efforts with him through the years, but I would have liked to see a bit more of their personal lives together and her fear of him and her genuine feelings about what they’re doing, because the book goes into that a lot more. I also wasn’t a fan of Lee finding the picture early and knowing some about what they were doing, because I liked how it was a surprise to him in the book and yet he still did all he could to cover it up. And lastly, in the book there’s a scene with Arvin after he kills Sandy and Carl where he’s in a motel and he takes like 18 showers because he can’t get the grime of what he’s done off of him, and he looks at the picture and has a nightmare about killing Sandy, and I really would have loved if they’d kept it in. It would have been another ‘acting’ moment for Tom, and it would have been nice for us to see his direct trauma and reaction to everything that’s piling on top of him.

-BUT that’s it. I loved pretty much every single other thing and decision that they made. The cinematography was TOP NOTCH. You could tell they filmed on 35mm film, you could see the grain, and it really, really added to it. Antonio Campos is a very skilled director and I trusted him at the helm of this story. Everything looked so authentic, all the sets and the costumes. The soundtrack and score were AMAZING and enhanced the film. Technically it was just perfect in every regard to me.

-Acting! Acting! God this was like...a massive testament to the casting department and the talent of these people. Everyone was on their A game. Bill Skarsgård has been on my radar since Castle Rock (which I recommend to everybody, both seasons) and he was so natural and great in this role. Haley Bennet was absolutely adorable as Charlotte, I loved her cute face and her sweet relationship with little Arvin. Riley Keough was so great as Sandy with the limited amount of time she had, and Jason Clarke is one of my favorites but he was unrecognizable in this as creepy ass Carl. Harry Melling was a far cry from Dudley Dursley and he did a great job with his screen time, too. Same with Mia Wasikowska, who didn’t have much to do (same as poor Helen in the book) but she was able to garner our sympathy anyway. Seb Stan was slimy and gross but he pulled it off so well. Eliza Scanlen has been one of my favorites since Sharp Objects (another one that’s brutal as hell but I recommend it, she’s so scary) and she was so, so great here. Robert Pattinson was ALRIGHT, everybody talks him up over this but he felt a little hammy to me and a little too over the top, but there’s no denying his talent.

-Now, the reason we’re all here. Tom. My God. As soon as it was over I just didn’t know what the hell to do, I didn’t even know how to....go on, lmfao. We all know he’s talented, that’s why we’re here, that’s why we love him, but his performance in this is just BEYOND all that. Beyond comprehension. The man is only 24 years old and he’s out here outacting people who have been in the industry for longer than he’s been alive. He is SHOCKINGLY good. I knew he’d be perfect for Arvin as soon as I read the book, but he just completely embodied this role in a way that I couldn’t have imagined. He doesn’t show up in the movie until about 45 minutes in (which doesn’t hurt it because of the strength of the leadup, Bill’s performance and the performance of little Arvin’s actor) but God, as soon as he’s there the whole thing comes to life in a way that it hadn’t before. Tom is literally just a shining light, and he draws your eye in every single scene he’s in, and when he’s not there you’re wondering when he’s gonna come back. Arvin, to me, is a very complex character—he has been inherently changed by how his father twisted religion in his childhood, how deeply he betrayed him by his behavior, but he still has a kind heart and a protective streak and the need to be strong despite the pain nearly breaking him apart from moment to moment. Tom is just outrageously good at portraying all Arvin’s little nuances, how he clenches his jaw, how his voice breaks when he’s afraid or trying to convince someone of something or get his point across, how his hands tremble after he’s done something he wishes he didn’t have to do, how his whole body wilts when he realizes he’s emulating his father. And his eyes. Tom can do so, so much with his eyes that it’s unbelievable. He tells you so much with just a simple look, a glance, a wince, a long blink. I’m not exaggerating when I say he’s just an absolute revelation in this, he cements his place in Hollywood with a firm hand and a tender look, and I will not be forgetting what he did here anytime soon. There’s a reason that everyone called him out for being so stunning in this. He is magnificent. He has a gift.

-I wanna say, in particular, how much I love Arvin’s relationship with Lenora. Their lives were both marked by such tragedy and pain and Arvin just took up the torch of protecting her from the moment he said hello as a child. He wants so badly to be tough, and he IS, but there’s just miles and miles of love in this boy’s heart, and it manifests itself for his family—for his uncle, for his grandma, but for Lenora in particular. I loved how he just showed up when she was being harassed and just ran in there without thinking, and it’s purely devastating that he was out taking care of her bullies while a worse predator was cornering her. The scene where she was sick wasn’t in the book but it was a beautiful addition. Tom sometimes wears this very open, unguarded, honest expression, and this is the only scene in which he shows it, and it really expresses the love between them and how much she means to him. Arvin didn’t find Lenora’s body in the book, but it was the right change for them to make. Tom was devastating here, and that pain and that moment truly fuel every second of his journey through the rest of the film. “My Lenora”. The saddest siblings. Both Eliza and Tom did so beautifully with this relationship and I hope they work together again.

-Favorite acting moments for Tom: when he’s in the car in the rain after beating up the bullies, when he’s in the church crowd and realizes Preston is insulting his Grandma (the way his face changes oh my GOD), when he finds Lenora, when the cop comes to tell him Lenora was pregnant (this is just....so damn good), when he was telling his uncle to look after his Grandma, THE ENTIRE CHURCH CONFRONTATION (the way he trembles when he’s trying to get his attention, how he speaks the whole time, how he slowly gathers his strength), when he thinks Sandy has shot him, the moment where he’s over Lee’s body and just....pleading with his eyes for him to listen and realize what he’s done. And the last scene, in the car, all the emphasis on his face....once again, he can do so, so much with a look, with his eyes. Someone called out the beautiful last shot in the film, and of course, it’s Arvin’s sleeping face. And it was so beautiful (and devastating, to think of him enlisting. Tom draws so much sympathy that you just want Arvin to have a normal life so badly. He deserves it, he does, but will he get it?)

-Last thing I’ll say, I really loved how, despite turning his back on religion, that God seems to be protecting Arvin the whole time. He’s terribly afraid confronting the preacher and that could have easily gone badly, especially when he tosses the book, but Arvin was somehow able to get a shot off and get the upper hand. And with Carl and Sandy, he senses something is off immediately once they pull off the road, and he would have absolutely been killed had Carl not switched out Sandy’s bullets for blanks. And in the confrontation with Lee, he once again shoots at the same time as him, shoots without looking, and manages to come out unscathed and on top. A few spoiler reviews pointed out that the last person that picks Arvin up is supposed to be a Jesus-like figure, almost like he’s finally been saved. It hurts that everyone around him that he loved is almost forsaken by God, but he himself is protected. It’s such a complicated commentary on religion throughout the entire piece, but it’s so interesting and engrossing.

So I’d recommend this movie to anyone that loves movies, loves Tom, can deal with a gritty story that takes its time laying out all the chess pieces. It is definitely heavy subject matter but it doesn’t go overboard with the horror as it easily could have. Yes, there are triggers to look for, but the critics hugely over exaggerated how awful it was. I can probably go get time stamps for certain things if people wanna ask me after reading this, but if you can get through a Tarantino film or any HBO drama, you can do this. And Tom’s performance is one for the ages and not one that deserves to be passed over or downplayed. It is beautiful and heart-wrenching—a magnificent turn that displays his monumental ability to reach out and guide you into any world he decides to make his own.

I loved The Devil All the Time.

[mewtonian-physics]

my ranking of the alex rider original series (stormbreaker through scorpia rising) from ‘book i least enjoy rereading’ to ‘book i most enjoy rereading’ let’s goooo

spoilers for all 9 books under the cut

9. Ark Angel

...He went to space. He went to space. Also the entire plot could have been avoided if Drevin had actually bothered to provide a photograph of his son. I’m sure he had one. I still like this book but it’s literally so insane that I just don’t know what to do with it. 

It is however really funny that Webber just goes and gives a speech insulting this super high-profile ecoterrorist group and acts like it’s no big deal and then they kill him. Shock of shocks.

8. Skeleton Key

Okay, points to this book for terrifying the shit out of me. God damn it does that shark scene scare me. Also, points for making me feel a little bit bad for a man who wants to nuke his own country because he thinks it will fix the place up. I’m still not entirely sure how that’s supposed to work, but that’s probably a good thing. I feel like understanding his thought process would say bad things about me. Still, I actually did feel sorry for him, if only a little. Dude was clearly mentally unstable and I doubt his son’s death helped at all. I also got sad about what happened to Carver and Troy. (Yeah, yeah, I’m a cringe fail American who has the American release. So sue me.) What a nightmare that must’ve been to endure... Otherwise, though, I’m not super into this book. The opening is just kind of meh and the way it leads into the rest of the plot seems a little bit unbelievable. Also, this might be an unpopular opinion, but Sabina annoys me. I would not get along with her at all and I can’t imagine her as a girlfriend. Skeleton Key does, however, absolutely excel at the emotional scenes. 

Also, why are all the spy agencies so comfortable with sending in a 14-year-old? Especially when they outright admit that the other attempts have all died horribly? Bureaucracy’s a bitch.

7. Point Blank

Boo, Dr. Grief! Boo! We hate your white supremacy! I’m so glad you got a snowmobile to the face, you deserved it. (Perks of books written by Jewish people--we aren’t afraid to give the neo-Nazis an unpleasant death.) Anyway, this book definitely isn’t bad, but I wouldn’t really say it stands out in the series. It definitely does hammer home the point of just how trapped Alex is, since MI6 isn’t going to just let him go after one mission, and let’s face it, the plot with the clones is creepy as hell, if highly improbable. But I’m largely just here to see the neo-Nazi get snowmobiled. That’s right, I just completely changed the definition of a pre-established word. I’m a rebel.

Also, I hate Fiona Friend so much and overall think she just didn’t need to be in the book, but the line about ‘I’d rather kiss the horse’ made me laugh so hard. Alex, you sass.

6. Snakehead

Okay, let’s talk about how genius the plan in this book is. I love it! I love how Yu wants to kill the people involved in the peace conference without making them into martyrs, so he comes up with this whole elaborate plan to stage a natural disaster. It’s incredible. This dude was thinking so far ahead. And he would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that meddling kid... But anyway, I don’t see a lot of books where the villain really acknowledges that killing their enemies could just cause more problems for them via turning them into martyrs for a cause. Also, the way he’s so polite and soft-spoken while also being a complete monster... This book genuinely gives me chills. Extra bonus points for the part in the hospital, the absolute nightmare of having all your organs slowly removed and sold off and everyone around you is being so nice about it? ‘Oh, don’t worry, Alex, it won’t be so bad. Here, take your medicine. Do you need anything?’ Literally just. What the fuck. 

Also Ash can fucking fight me. You put your own godson in horrible danger on purpose! You killed your best friend! Bastard. 

...And just in case the book wasn’t disturbing enough, Yu’s fate at the end lives in my mind rent-free and I think about it on a concerningly regular basis considering that the chances of that happening to me are so low they’re practically in the negatives. Damn you, Horowitz.

I would also be remiss if I did not mention just how much I love the tagline ‘once bitten, twice spy’.

5. Crocodile Tears

Ah yes, the book that kickstarted my drift away from the church... I kid, of course. I drifted away from the church for completely separate reasons. But Desmond McCain is always going to scare the shit out of me. The ability to kill countless innocent people while blissfully quoting Bible verses (that he takes wildly out of context and uses for his own self-serving means) is... well, I could actually say a lot about what that reminds me of, but I’m here to rate books, not religion. Moving on. This book has some really stellar antagonists, and the plot is chilling in a way that feels a lot more realistic than most of the other books. Even if some of it is a bit farfetched (sabotaging a nuclear power plant? Really?), the idea of using disasters for your own profit... well. I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate on why that is so believable. The Poison Dome is also a really cool and chilling scene--even Alex, who has the luck of the devil, can’t get out of that one unscathed. Further scares come in with the fate of Harold Bulman--imagine having your entire existence wiped and your identity changed while you were asleep! The breakdown he has over it is almost enough to make me feel sorry for him, even though he was ready to exploit a teenager and make his life a living hell just to turn a profit. Note the word almost.

Also. The opening makes me cry. Specifically the line talking about how Ravi’s kids would ‘never meet Mickey Mouse’. I lose my goddamn mind every single time I read it. That little personal touch turns the scene from a statistic to a tragedy. Once again: Damn you, Horowitz.

4. Stormbreaker

Yeah, this one gets the special cover shot. And why not? What we are looking at here is the birth of a legend. Move the fuck over, James Bond, Alex Rider is on the scene now. Anyway, yeah, this book is pretty damn spectacular. It has its stumbles, but as the first book in a series, that’s to be expected. Still, it pulls you in from quite literally the first line and keeps you going right up until the end. (If you came here from my post of memes, you know how much the line ‘Killing is for grownups, and you’re still a child’ destroys me.) It has the debut of much-beloved characters such as, of course, Alex--but also Jack Starbright, and of course, the best MI6 agent of them all, which is to say Smithers. Hell, even Yassen Gregorovich, especially once you get through Russian Roulette... Man, that was a rough one. 

Seriously, though. This is a really good book. The scene with the Portuguese man-o’-war still gives me the chills to think about. (Have you ever looked up pictures of those things? They’re beautiful, but holy shit will they make you regret being born. Nature is funny like that.) 

We also get the introduction of, of course, Alex’s patented sass (his response to Sayle saying he relates to the man-o’-war is HILARIOUS) and we get the inherent humor of Alex screwing up an alias one time and then just going by Alex for the rest of the series so he doesn’t do that again. Really, kid, I know you’re not a trained spy or anything but did you never play pretend growing up? Ever? You can’t pretend your name is Felix for a little while? That sounds like a you problem.

3. Scorpia Rising

I distinctly remember when this book came out, actually. I was on vacation at the time, and I remember my brother annoying the hell out of the poor workers at a bookstore we frequented there to see if/when they were going to get it in. They did, finally, and we bought it immediately, and I was of course absolutely desperate to read it. He got to read it first, though. -_-

This is a great book, an absolute emotional rollercoaster all the way through. The way Blunt tricks Alex back into service by staging a shooting was exactly the kind of cold, brutal behavior I’d expect from him. Seeing Julius come back was shocking, but very exciting, too. And Razim makes an incredibly chilling villain, with his absolute disregard for human life and his desire to measure pain. Also, seeing Smithers’s house was so much fun. Smithers in this book was just really fun in general, but he’s really fun in every book, so... nothing unusual there. But also, I want an unwelcome mat. Please?

2. Eagle Strike

‘But Penny,’ you might ask, ‘why is this book so high on your list? It has so much of Sabina in it, and you said she annoys you.’ That is true. What does not annoy me, however, is basically the entire rest of the book. I love the tense opening, and then reading through Alex’s real-life ‘playthrough’ of Feathered Serpent is still one of my favorite scenes. Cray is absolutely incredible as a villain, with the way that he truly believes in his cause--which is undoubtedly a good one! Yet the extremes to which he will go for that cause, and the fact that he very nearly succeeds, are what elevate him to one of the most dangerous villains in the series. That scene with Charlie Roper and the nickels is something I can never seem to stop thinking about. Actually, I think about it basically whenever I think about large amounts of money paid in small increments... 

Also, I really enjoy how he gets into the whole plot in the first place, and I really enjoy Smithers saying ‘ah, fuck it’ and helping him out anyway. Go, Smithers. You once again prove me right in saying that you’re the coolest adult in MI6.

The revelation that Yassen knew Alex’s father is one that absolutely blew my mind first time around. The way his life was threaded into the lives of the Rider family--he worked with John Rider, was saved by him, killed Ian Rider, and then died for refusing to kill Alex Rider--wow. Wow. It gets to me. It really gets to me. This book is a masterpiece. I heard that it’s going to be what the second season of the TV series is based off of, and I’m so hyped for that. We love to see it, we really do.

1. Scorpia

I don’t believe anyone who says this book didn’t get to them at all. I just think they are lying. I don’t think it’s humanly possible to not be affected by this book. God. Just thinking about it reminds me of why I don’t think it’s possible. I mean, come on. We get all this backstory about Alex’s parents, we get tricked along with him into thinking MI6 killed his father, then bam, that was a lie, and Alex may have just fucked himself over big time. Also, that plot is terrifying! (And I bet anti-vaxxers had a field day with it, huh.) Julia Rothman is a really great antagonist, one of the only ones who didn’t go and explain her plan in great detail to Alex--the fact that she didn’t actually being a plot point was something I personally found pretty clever. In general, this book is... I tend to hate when people say they ‘can’t put it down’ because it’s usually an obvious exaggeration, but that really is how I feel reading it.

And again. If that ending didn’t get to you... Well, I just think you are lying.

[hobihobihoe]

Unruly - Part one

Obey me! + Mafia BTS + 0T7 au x reader                                                                

2.5k ish 

Warnings : 18+ slowwww burn ~ eventual smut ~ descriptions of blood and violence ~ cliche city ~ alsooo uhh if you care about grammar this is not 4 U cause imma dumb bitch <3

Andd ahh this is the first thing i’ve ever written so its probably kinda shit.. :)

Great. Just great. Why did you agree to this again? Oh yeah because you’re a good person, or at least you’re trying to be. You’d just agreed to cover Rosies shift, apparently she was sick, but what you hadn't taken into account when you’d agreed to work was that Rosie had been booked to a private venue, well I guess now you had been booked to a private venue. You hated working private venues, as a bartender people would sometimes assume you provided the drinks or that because you weren't working at your company bar you would join in with shots or maybe give them a discount as you were a lone ranger incharge of yourself and providing alcohol for the night. One thing a private venue did mean though was money, getting paid nearly twice the amount you usually did as well as hopefully generous tips from wealthy clients. But still you weren’t quite sure three times the work was worth only double the pay, but well… fuck it you’ve gotta be a good friend/colleague and well person to Rosie so you just have to suck it up.

Thankfully it was a Saturday night so you didn't have to work it after being at university all day. So you bid farewell to the library you had been pretending to study at and headed home to get changed into something more presentable because a hoodie three times your size and leggings covered in dorito dust probably wouldn't fly at this kind of event.

As you opened the door you heard the crocky meows of your little baby, Zuki. He was an all black rescue cat that you'd adopted two years ago, when you’d started university, as a companion and partly because as soon as you saw his cute little face you were screwed and had to bring him home. You bent down to stroke his head and scratch behind his ear just the way he likes, which results in him vibrating with loud purrs that soften your heart. “Okay baby I love you but I gotta go get ready” Zuki looks at you with annoyance now that you've cut his pampering session short, he's such a spoiled little brat you think to yourself, but as he follows you into your bedroom with his tail high in the air and a slight sway in his steps you can't bring yourself to care. He is just too damn cute.

Now donned in your crisp white shirt and black dress pants you tame your hair enough so that it resembles a neatish bun, you say goodbye to your fur baby and head off to your car on your way to hopefully a nice paycheque.

When you arrive you're greeted by Jae. He leads you to the bar and tells you to ask him if there's anything you need. Okay so far so good, you've just gotta make yourself familiar with any specialised drinks on the menu and the rest should be smooth sailing. About 10 minutes after you arrive a large group of men appear, they sit down on two separate sides of the long table that takes up most of the room, they then send two men from each group respectively your way. Game time you think, the man that reaches the bar first is sweating noticeably, his black hair sticking to the front of his forehead matting the hair that it encompases. “sweetheart get me 6 doubles of gentleman jack over ice and 2 dry martinis”, you smile at him, so thankful that you wouldn't have to make any cocktails. They were time consuming and required a lot of faf essentially and a lot of cleaning up, “of course sir” you say as you smile at him, he barely acknowledges you as he goes to sit at one of the stools that lined the bar. As you get to making his drinks you hear the clearing of someone's throat, you look up and realise it was the other man that you had been coming over. You nearly choke on your spit at the sight of him. His pastel pink hair is delicately framing his cherub-like face, “Miss?”, oh shit you’d zoned out, “Oh i'm so sorry I missed what you said completely '' you admitted shly, he just gave a cute little chuckle. “ Its okay angel” you started to blush at the use of such an affectionate nickname “I asked if I could have 6 manhattans and a sex on the beach” great fucking coacktails you signed internaly, “Of course sir” that earned a smirk from him, you were just being professional, shit professional you had to remind yourself to focus on making the drinks as your traitorous eyes kept lingering in the area surrounding him.

As you finish preparing each individual drink you place them on the bar so the men can take them to booths. Just as you were setting down the final cocktail you brush fingers with the pink haired man, “oh... um” you say prepared to give him an apology but as you look up and meet his eyes you seem to lose your ability to form any kind of cohesive sentence “Jimin, angel, my names Jimin” he states  “oh uh, Jimin I hope you enjoy your drinks'' you feel like a pathetic teenager again unable to talk to the pretty boy at the party. “I'm sure I will angel” he throws over his shoulder as he walks back to the group of men he’d emerged from, what was it with him saying that nickname that just made you giddy. God I really need to get out more you thought, maybe you could go out tomorrow as you wouldn't be working since you covered rosies shift, maybe then you could get some real action and should hopefully suasiate you for a bit. Ugh it's like Jimin had awoken something within you, which usually you’d be interested to explore, but considering that you were at work you were gonna just have to put his beautiful face to the back of your mind for when you got home later and could relax properly. Zesh should you feel creepy? No its not your fault that what was practically sex on legs was going about all unobtainable, thats what your imagination and your trusty vibrator were for anyway.

An hour later and you've made exactly three more drinks, wow, maybe if you stare at the champagne flute for another 10 minutes you'll unlock its secrets and it will be more interesting. Just as you were debating wiping down the bar for the hundredth time you hear chairs being pulled out and moved loudly. You look up to see that both groups of men which were previously amicably sat at the table now have guns aimed at each other. You freeze. You haven't ever seen a gun in person before and there must be well over ten now all presumably aimed and ready to fire. You dunk under the bar as you hear yelling start. You weren't able to focus on what was being said by the men, too busy trying to focus on controlling your breathing. Fuck. that sounded like a gun shot. And then another. You've lost track of how many shots you've heard, lots is the amount you settle on, maybe if you just stay behind the bar and stay quiet they'll forget you’re there and leave you alone. There is a long silence in the room, you try your best to mimic it when you notice the movement in one of the wine glasses that are stacked up behind the bar. Someone pushes the staff entrance to the bar open and strides towards you, gun in his right hand. You start to push yourself backward but are soon met with the edge of the bar, the man is dressed in all red and if it weren't for the specks of blood covering his face you would consider him unbelievably attractive. You seem to have been consumed by these thoughts because you suddenly come back into your physical reality, met with a gun now pointed only inches away from your face. You search his eyes for any kind of mercy or empathy you could try to appeal to, what shocks you is you only see a smoldering fire. You see his finger move on the trigger and close your eyes, you don't want the last thing you see to be a stranger. Just as you were going to try to think of pleasant things and the ones you cheriouish you hear a voice. “Hobi stop” Jimin said rather nonchalantly given your current situation, “Chim just let me tie up this loose end then we can get going” the other man, you guess Hobi? Sneered. Wow he just thought of killing you as an inconvenience, what a dick. “Hobi I think we could use her for something else” “what?” Hobi questioned sternly “well even Yoongi mentioned how good his drink was and we always have to get a new bartender every meeting and it would be easier if we had one who knew who we were so when this kind of shit happens again we haven't got any loose ends” Jimin points out. Hobi seems to consider this for a minute before he moves away in a different direction to Jimin, you try to follow his eye line but because of your placement on the floor you can’t see over the bar. “Joon, obviously the call is yours to make” Hobi announces. “It does seem to be a practical suggestion and Jimin must have taken a liking to her if he stopped you, so I don't see why not” the ominous voice declared. After a second of those words sinking in you realise that they have just decided to take you with them, to take you captive.

You start to shake, turning your head to meet Jimin's eye “no uh..um.no please don't take me” you sniffle “I promise I never saw anything, I won't say anything p-please just let me go home” you can barley make out your own words as they are effectively smothered by your tears and your small gasps for breath as you aren't able to regulate your breathing. Jimin elegantly slides over the bar and bends down to your height “Angel don't be so silly, you're coming with us. You should really be thanking me” he gives you a small wink. That causes a fresh wave of panic to settle over you, you know there's a fire exit further down in the bar hidden within the sinks and stock area, with the spike of adrenaline you start to run towards the exit. It looks like it's going well until you hear a loud bang, then the feeling of the side of your head being hit registers, lastly you notice your eyesight unfocusing before darkness seems to override and then suddenly, nothing.

~JIMINS POV~

“Yoongi was that really necessary?” Jimin akses with a slight frown on his face. The older man shrugs “someone had to do something” Jimin sighs and looks at Jungkook, “it will be easier if you carry her.”

~YOUR POV~

When you open your eyes again you see white, adjusting slightly, you realise your laying on a bed. You sit up and look around the room. There are 5 other beds that you can see, they are all small single beds with a chest at the end of each. You look over your surroundings for a few minutes before you remember the circumstances leading up to you being here. You touch the back of your head and wince when your fingers meet a small swollen bump. You decided you should probably try and leave, poor Zuki is probably waiting for you to fill his food bowl. Wow, you realise in this situation you think of your cat's mortality more than your own, well you guess that's what your life has amounted to. Just as you stand up the door opens. “Oh you're awake now” You look over to see the small older woman who was speaking “Umm.. where am i?” The lady gives you a small smile “You're in the maids room sweetie.” Great that's cleared up nothing, you think bitterly. “Can I talk to whoever's in charge? Please?” You think this is probably your best bet, explain to them that you just want to go hope and hopefully they'll be humane enough to agree with that. “Yes, he wanted me to come and get you anyway” She states as she turns around walking away from the doorway, you start to follow her. As you continue walking through the hallways and up the stairs of this seemingly huge mansion you notice several men standing guard with guns rested in their hands, ready at all times. You start to wonder if maybe your idea is ridiculous as you realise wherever you are and whatever you have gotten yourself involved in may be larger than the small group of men you'd seen at the bar. Your worrying is cut short as the women raises her hand and knocks at a door you have stopped outside off, a short “Come in” is what is answered from the other side of the door, the older women looks to you, “You should go in alone, i'll be waiting for you here” You look at her and then to the door “Uh... thank you?” You’re not really sure what the appropriate response is in this situation but you don't want to be rude, she gives you a short nod and smile.

Once you open the door you're faced with one of the men you'd seen before. He regards you with a very slight smile before he gestures to a chair placed in front of the desk he is sitting behind, you walk over to sit at the chair before you look at him directly. You aren't sure if the bang to the head you had received had caused temporary delusions, but as you look at him you swear you see light radiating out of him. You meet his eyes for a second before you decide they are too intimidating and look away, “You wanted to see me?” you ask meekly, deciding to for now abandon your plea for freedom. “Yes, I did, i'm not sure if you remember why we brought you here so i’ll just go over your role again” he starts “You’re going to be working as our personal bartender, this means you will joins us on outings that we deem appropriate and also make our drinks whilst we are here, at the base” he then moves his face into your eye line so that he can make eye contact “And in return of your services we’ll let you live” he finishes his small speech with a slight smile, as if he had just offered you a job and you weren't being threatened and held captive in this place. You take a few minutes to think over what he had just said, you come to the conclusion that for now faking compliance is probably the safest thing you can do until you are able to find a window to escape. “Who do you mean when you say we?” you enquire, you weren't sure if you should be questioning the leader of this organisation?, but your curiosity had won over any of the other responses you considered.

[eisforeidolon]

Episode: Atomic Monsters

I watched this at least a week ago, but just didn't get around to rewriting my notes into a post 'til now.  I did actually find this the best episode so far, but lets be real, that's such a low bar to clear at this point it says basically nothing.

The opening sequence is really fun!  I found the whole thing genuinely enjoyable, both the action itself and that it included exactly the kind of return cameo I can actually get behind.  No retcons or resurrections that make death somehow even cheaper or ruin the original finish to the character's story!  Not even to mention that, instead of existing just for the sheer fanservice of it?  A sequence like this is actively improved by giving us a familiar face we have investment in to keep it from being all just random unfamiliar cannon fodder getting offed.

Unfortunately, this isn't the rousing endorsement it could be when we know that both expanding to a big action sequence and bringing Benny back for it were actually Jensen's ideas.  Not even to mention that the thing which really works best in the episode?  It's the dream sequence that's not actually connected to anything else and doesn't have to worry about continuity to work. This is my surprised face.

I enjoyed the exchange between Sam and Dean in the kitchen.  The meat man conversation over the bacon was rather silly, but in a fun way. I've seen some people reading things into it (it's insulting Dean doesn't know the slang, Sam is randomly vegetarian now) that I didn't really see there.  I did appreciate how Sam was weirdly jumpy and had trouble meeting Dean's eyes after the creepy alternate world dream.  I thought it worked really well for both slice-of-life and Sam’s reaction.

In terms of the Winchester's case, well, for the most part it could have been worse.  I don't honestly believe even if I hadn't been spoiled that I wouldn't have immediately suspected the parents from their introductory exchange about how Billy playing in the big game was more important than a cheerleader's death.  I think it was supposed to be a retroactive subtle clue, but it was more of a clue-by-four.  So the “mystery” of tracking down the monster was pretty lost on me.  I did like that the one girl having braces was a clue!  But I also thought the scene with her rehearsing her speech on a live mic in an empty auditorium was weird and contrived.  I straight out cannot forgive that a girl was literally abducted from the school campus and NOBODY checked the security footage near her car fucking IMMEDIATELY well before Sam & Dean.  C'mon.  Then, of course, a couple random middle-aged suburbanite humans get the drop on Sam and Dean, because Dabbernatural really just loves to make them incompetent so plots happen.

Then the big reveal and blah blah blah, kid accidentally ate his girlfriend.  WHAT WERE WE SUPPOSED TO DO???  Um, maybe try not being scumbags?  Idiotic scumbags at that, abducting a second girl from their son's own school instead of somebody that wouldn't be missed or even, hey, maybe encouraging him to try harder not to eat people.  Don't try to sell me on this pseudo hallmark 'but they just love him so much' bullshit.  At least the kid has more self-awareness and conscience than his fuckwad parents.  

Then we get to the infuriating character assassination part of the programme.  Having Sam and Dean say that they'd do the same thing as the dad for Jack their “son”?  Fuck you very much, show.  I could maybe, maybe, see Sam or Dean kidnapping and draining the life out of an innocent to save the other at their most desperate worst.  Though I think the only time they even really get close to that kind of an actively, knowingly evil choice is with Doc Benton.  Not only do I not buy for a second that they would do that for the totally-really-their-actual-child-for-reasons albatross Dabbernatural has shoehorned into their lives?  Struggling to do the right thing even when it hurts used to actually mean something – it was always a very important qualifier that while Sam or Dean might make that choice, the other would not let them.  So having them both agree this kind of straight up villainy would be a-okay for oh-so-totally-loveable-no-really-woobie-blob Jack ...

Like carelessly assassinating every human in the BMoL headquarters, it fundamentally fails to understand what it is that keeps Sam and Dean from being the monsters.  Hint: it's not just that the show centers around them.  “We do the ugly thing so that people can live happy” - these moronic hacks seem to be actually trying to parallel Sam and Dean saving innocent victims and the world to human monsters that were going to selfishly help their son eat his way through the entire goddamn cheerleading squad.  Am I getting this wrong somehow?  Is there some other, less appalling, reading here that I'm missing? This whole scene honestly made me nauseous.

They talkity-talk on for a while longer, but it's really not much better.  Sam declaring that God was totally done with them was the writers putting those words in his mouth based on nothing.  At it’s very best, it was Sam’s bad habit of convincing himself conclusions he’s come to are true because he wants them to be.  So them both just deciding to believe it's true after Chuck has admitted to orchestrating their entire lives … I'm not sure if we should conclude the Winchesters have brain damage or if that's just the writers.  Especially when the underlying reason for it is nothing more compelling than , “Watch the Winchesters see-saw on the angst fulcrum completely at random!  Yay!”  If this was actually well written, there would be some precipitating reason for Sam to suddenly be the one being all fatalistic while Dean is accepting.  Instead, the writers  just slap some coin-flipped angst angst angst on the page and meander on in a supposedly forward direction.

So then there's the other half of the episode, the Becky storyline. Am I the only one a little disturbed that Becky's first reaction to seeing Chuck was to look scared and try to run away?  Like, they're exes and all, sure, but she doesn't know any of the god stuff yet – I think the only thing she even says about their breakup is that Chuck dumped her.  Is that reaction supposed to be yet another bit of “new canon” showing how Chuck was just that terrible all along? But then she does let him in, so maybe we're just supposed to take it as Becky still having a tendency towards dramatics?  I honestly don't know, but it was weird to me.  

I do genuinely love that they had Becky go to therapy and realize just how absolutely fucked up what she'd done was and ultimately sort herself out to become someone who seems to be a well-balanced adult. A well balanced adult that didn't have to give up being a fan for that!  Seriously, kudos to the writers for this, because 7.08 is such a loathsome episode that otherwise ruins Becky as a character.   Though I do have to nitpick a bit – while I get that they wanted to put SPN merch in Becky's home as a callout to her still being a superfan?   In the show's universe, Chuck's books were never that popular, so I'm having some suspension of disbelief issues that there would be Funkos for them.  We could pretend they were customs, but she's got at least one Impala, so even that doesn't quite work.  I'm not entirely sure who “people only want them sitting around doing laundry anyway” is a dig at, but I'm giving it the side eye.  

I also am not entirely sure what to make of Chuck's whole no one needs me I kinda hate me I'm all lost and don't know what to doooooo shtick.  Is this a game he's playing?  Is he really that wishy-washy? Did some of Dabb's sad internal monologue as showrunner somehow end up in a script by accident?  

He goes on like that and laments he's lost the Winchester's trust and had words with them or whatever, and then he zaps Becky and her family away at the end.  Like, if he cared enough about Becky to care about her opinion, why does he turn on her, too, just like that?  I guess we're supposed to see it as him having found his mojo in her space and vanishing her because taking over her space that's working for him currently is his latest whim.  I suppose they're intending to show Chuck as just being that capricious and flighty, but I don't know that it works for me.  The way they've been writing him he's acting so randomly and impulsively that it's kind of unbelievable he can even sit still at a keyboard long enough to write another Sam and Dean installment.  Again, I definitely find it unbelievable that the Chuck they're giving us now would be capable of playing the long game that he would have had to for him to be actively behind everything.  Until he suddenly got impatient and lazy and popped up in the cemetery at the end of the last finale ... for reasons … and is now just … like that … because.

Not to mention that his powers are, big shock, just as arbitrary as everyone else's in the current show.  He can't actually see what is happening to Sam and Dean because of the bullet sapping his power or whatever, but we're supposed to be worried about the ominous ending he's writing for them because … he's got those god powers to make it happen, I guess?  Uh...

I will grant that the ominous bobbing of Sam and Dean Funkos' heads to Chuck's furious typing was a wonderfully foreboding shot to end on.  

[phantomphangphucker]

A Ghost! But Not? - DannyMay - Day 13 Accident

Summary: Danny’s “little” accident is much to everyone’s horror, especially his parents.

Warning: injury, hurt/comfort, angst

Danny knows he really shouldn’t be down here but how couldn’t he? Sure all his parents' ghost talk was weird and utterly unbelievable, but a whole nother world? In the wall?

Staring at the finished, but nonfunctional, portal; he feels kind of bad for his parents. They poured their hearts and souls into this and nothing, nada, zip, zilch. They’ve been pretty bummed ever since and Jazz’s barely concealed gloating wasn’t exactly helping. Muttering to himself, “she values being right way too much”.

He kind of wants to snoop around the portal, poke at it maybe. Every Fenton was some kind of scientist, including him. Stars and space were his thing, and really, isn’t another dimension like a whole nother planet? Maybe it could quite literally be another planet just somehow connected to this one?

Tilting his head towards the, honestly over-sized, jumpsuit closet, “this family may be off the walls general safety wise but I’m not about to disregard the one safety measure they actually care about”. Walking over and sticking his head in, and quickly finding his own suit. Which he knows his parents are proud of, even if he’s never really worn it. Unlike Jazz, he didn’t intentionally destroy his personalised one. Blues and oranges just wouldn’t look good on him, and he actually puts others first. Jazz is more of a “do what ever she thinks is right, others wants be damned”, kind of person. He almost wishes she wasn’t right so freaking often though, as he pulls on the suit. Looking himself over in the mirror, instantly groaning, “really dad? That’s honestly kind of creepy”, peeling off his dad’s face as he talks. He doesn’t even really like having famous people’s faces plastered on his body, his own family members face was just plain wrong. Not to mention how dorky it looked.

Stepping back out and a bit eagerly tapping on the portal, the suit felt weird but right. Chuckling a little, “meant for me or whatever bullshit. Surprised I can actually feel textures and what not through the gloves though”. Poking his head inside and looking around, smirking slightly, “this is lame but I so have to do this”. Danny bounds in like he’s a weightless space man, taking the first steps on some new planet. Laughing a little to himself and blushing slightly, when absolutely nothing happens. Expected, but he’s kind of glad no ones around to see his antics. Running his left hand through his hair before going to lean it on the wall. Tilting his head slightly as a green lightning bolt seems to spark at the very back, leaning forwards slightly, “what the-”. Cutting himself off and not even getting the chance to do anything more than go wide-eyed, as green energy zaps and spirals forwards, slamming into him.

Both Maddie and Jack jump, with Jack nearly slamming his head into the ceiling, as they both hear a loud scream. The groceries Maddie’s carrying clattering to the floor, while Jack knocks the living room table over. Both of them only quickly glance at each other before running to the lab door, knowing damn well this was their son’s clearly prolonged scream; and drawn out screams are bad screams.

Maddie’s the first to make it down, whipping her head around, shouting, “DANNY!”, before noticing and snapping her head towards the portal. Going wide-eyed instantly, realising that Danny was nowhere in sight. And the only out of place thing was the toxic green swirling in the portal. Dashing over to it just in time to catch, a barely conscious and clearly glowing, white-haired teenage boy. Jack’s by them in only a second or two as the boy groans and looks to be going to put his hand on Maddie’s arm, likely to stand himself up; but promptly phases straight through her, collapsing to the ground. Jack gapes as Maddie spins around, startled, while the boy rolls over and sits up. Rubbing at his eyes and groaning, “what the?”. Now both of them are gaping but for a whole different reason, instantly recognising the unusual hairstyle and angular facial structure.

All Danny can remember is sharp hellish pain. Like fire and lightning just joined in unholy matrimony inside his flesh and bones. Stumbling backwards he has no clue who the hell caught him or why they dropped him or what the hell that weird tingling was. But at least he’s not hurting anymore, rolling over and rubbing at his eyes because man they felt weird, like poprock candy was fizzing and popping about inside them, “what the?”.

Swinging his hands out and snapping his eyes open as something is very much not right, as he finds himself flipping in mid-air randomly. Yelping, “HOLY SHIT!”. Realising he's freaking floating and are his hands glowing? Getting that tingling feeling again but just in his foot this time, snapping his head down, which somehow rights him; as he watches his mom try to grab onto him not once but twice, phasing straight through his ankle and foot each time. Yanking his foot away and not even bothering to try to cover up his swearing, because if anytime called for swearing this was it, “WHAT THE FUCK!”.

His parents are clearly as startled and freaked out as he is, with his dad opening and closing his mouth like a fish. While his mom actually grabs at his shoulders this time, not going through him and successfully yanking him back to the ground. Her voice comes out like a mixture of startled and worried, “DANNY?!?”, the fact that she says his name more like a question is definitely concerning. Practically whispering at her because he’s honestly kind of scared now, “mom, what-what’s going on?”. Blinking a bunch because again with the weird eye feeling and his parents just gaping at him is not make anything better, “what the h-”, Danny he’s cut off by his legs getting tingly and feeling like he’s sinking. Snapping his head down and yelping, before his dad flat out grabs him by the torso and yanks him up.

Danny puts his hands on his dad’s wrists and is honestly just getting more freaked out by his dad’s confused and verging on scared face, “Danny-boy? Son?”. Danny squints at him, stuttering, “w-why, are you, s-saying that like, like it’s a...question?”.

Jack and Maddie glance from each other to Danny a couple times before Jack slowly puts him down. Both thankful he doesn’t start phasing through the ground again.

Maddie slowly reaches her fingers out and pokes at her son’s white and glowing hair tentatively, pulling away for only a second before gently brushing her hand through his hair. “M-mom? Why are you, are you doing that?”, both of them can hear the pleading and fear in his echoey voice. So like any good mother, Maddie shakes herself off and pushes down her own freaked out state to comfort her child, quickly yanking him into a hug. Stifling a gasp at the cold temperature but becoming teary-eyed as it dawns on her, cold, floating, intangibility, glowing, his eyes were green for peats sake!

Jack had come to that conclusion almost instantly but hadn’t exactly processed it yet, it doesn’t set in really till he goes to squeeze his son’s shoulder comfortingly and to confirm what he’s seeing is real, only for his hand and Maddie to go straight through him.

Jack has to catch Maddie to keep her from falling over as Danny spins around to look at them, clearly freaked out, “did you? Did you just go through me!?”. Maddie wipes at her eyes quickly so Danny won’t see she’s upset, as they both watch him snap his head down to look at himself and pat at his chest. Both of them easily hear him mutter, “wasn’t this white? Why am I glowing? What the hell?”.

Maddie starts talking and reaches out for him as he snaps his head around to the back mirror, “sweetie, I-I don’t think you should-”. Her hand goes through him again and she gets cut off as Danny puts his hands on either side of the mirror before almost aggressively rummaging his hand through his hair, “what happened to my hair!”. Spinning back around to them and pointing at the mirror, “what?!”.

At first, Jack just takes a slow step towards him but as Danny starts floating, thus flailing and freaking out, again, Jack runs over and grabs his hand to keep him from floating around. But for whatever reason, Danny’s gravity-defying is too strong for him to pull his son down this time.

Danny grabs onto his dad’s hand with both of his own, which should have black gloves not white and he would really like some answers right about now. Whispering at his dad, “what’s happening, to me?”. Danny watches as his dad opens and closes his mouth a couple of times before looking back to his mom. Which is also concerning, why is everything concerning and freaky? And why can’t he stop floating?! He always wanted to feel the weightlessness of space but not like this! His dad’s wince as his mom staggers over and Jack’s voice pulls Danny out of his head, “son, little, tight”. Realising he’s kind of clinging on with a death grip, loosening his hands as he weakly mutters, “s-sorry”. Flicking his eyes over to his mom as she grabs at his arm, moving one of his hands over to hold her hand. Which she squeezes as she talks, “sweetie, I, you-”, clearing her throat a little, “I think you’re, you’re a...ghost”. Danny slowly looks between them incredulously, how could he possibly be a ghost? That doesn’t even make any kind of sense? Aren’t ghosts dead? It’s not like he- his eyes go wide as he can tell they’re serious and as a realisation dawns on him. The portal! Slowly dragging his eyes over to look at it, blinking a bit as it’s clearly activated. It turned on or opened up or whatever, with him...inside. Barely whispering, “oh god”. Slowly turning his head back down towards his parents, voice coming out a bit squeaky, “I died?”. Both of them squeeze on his hands harder, which is actually not comforting right now, he was freaking dead! His dad nods a little, “I think so, son”. Holy shit, he was dead, he died, he was...he was a ghost! A freaking ghost!

At that thought, he can’t help but notice his parents jumpsuits and all the stuff in the lab, stuff for ghost hunting. Ghosts, ghosts like...him? But they wouldn’t would they? But what if they could fix him maybe? How do you fix death? Blinking a bunch, “oh my god, I’m dead”. Both his parents cringe a little, but he can tell his mom’s trying to smile reassuringly, her watering eyes exactly don’t help though, “I think, I think going with...ghost, is better. Less, less final”.

Danny doesn’t really get a chance to respond as a weird cold feeling fills his chest and seems to expand out of him. Yelping as he promptly falls on his ass hard and holy shit! Pain! Hissing as he slams and grips his hand onto his arm, curling in on himself, seconds before passing out.

Maddie moves just fast enough to catch Danny before his head hits the floor. Pushing his head back into her left hand as she pulls his torso onto her lap, while pushing his black hair out of his face with her right hand.

Jack’s still holding his son’s hand when both of them see his eyes are closed and he’s not responding. Maddie starts shaking as both of them feverishly check him for a pulse. Jack sits down and leans his forehead against Maddie’s shoulder after finally finding and feeling his son’s pulse. He wheezes a bit in strained and nerve-wracked laughter, but Maddie’s slightly horrified sounding voice stops his wheezing in its tracks, “Jack. It’s slow. It’s too slow”. Jack actually pays attention to his son’s pulse under his thumb again, but it’s not the pulse that catches his attention this time, but how wrong his son’s skin feels and the realisation that he should be touching jumpsuit, not skin. Snapping his head over and nearly crying out, seeing the burnt black skin with angry red branching lines. Cradling his sons’ arm gingerly now, as Maddie looks over and gasps seeing what startled her husband. “Jack, Jack! Go get the medical kit!”, Maddie’s glad Jack can move fast when he needs to and she’s so confused as to how Danny’s pulse doesn’t seem to be getting weaker. Someone’s pulse can’t maintain this slow rate, and he was just a ghost?! She’s sure of it, so how? How does he even have a pulse at all?.

Maddie cradles him and actually hopes he doesn’t wake up yet, as Jack snips off what’s left of the sleeve and cuts the suit down the side, stopping above his waist. Both of them inhale sharply at seeing the red branching burns running across his chest, stopping just under his ribs and before his right shoulder. Jack tries for some positivity, “at least the black burns, burns stop before the shoulder”. Maddie just nods a bit numb, while Jack treats the burns.

They’re both torn between being elated and worried as Danny eventually comes to, hissing and scrunching up his eyes from the pain.

Danny just barely manages to restrain himself from screaming, painfully clenching his teeth together as he hisses and whines a little through his teeth. Yanking his arm and chest away from whatever is touching it, only for it to hurt more. Barely hearing his mom over the pain, “Danny sweetie, you need to stay still. Jack, he’s trying to patch you up, ok sweetie? You just, you just need to stay still”. He knows she’s right, nodding as he gulps and tears up. Feeling her pat comfortingly on his head, as he pushes his forehead into her stomach to try and block everything out some.

He’s just assuming his dad’s doing bandaging based off the pressure on his arm and it’s a struggle to keep from clenching his hand. If he wasn’t in so much pain he’d probably be impressed at his dad being so gentle.

Panting a bit as they move him to lean against a wall, tilting his head back into it and groaning, he’d really like to go back to sleep right about now. Squinting his eyes open as his mom talks, “I’m going to go get some pain medication, ok? Your dad’s right here, ok?”. Danny doesn’t trust himself to open his mouth without screaming, so he squeezes his eyes back shut and nods gingerly.

Feeling his dad pat and grab his boot as he talks, “Danny-boy, do you think you could point out what hurt you?”. Danny’s not sure why he says hurt instead of killed because isn’t killed the right word? And why wasn’t he hurting before? Groaning a bit again because this all makes no sense, but he cracks open his eyes again and nods at his dad. Lifting up the arm that doesn’t feel like it’s being stabbed and cooked alive, and pointing it at the portal.

His dad doesn’t even look all that shocked, horrified yeah but not shocked. Nodding faintly back at him, “you were, inside it. Mads caught you when you fell out. Were you, were you inside it when it turned on?”. Danny nods and weakly draws a swirl in the air. All he really remembers is feeling something on his left push in and make a clicking sound when he leaned on the wall and then there was the sparking and swirling green. Then it was every where suddenly and pain, lots and lots of pain.

Danny feels almost amused at the dirty look his dad gives the portal and it’s probably weird that Danny kind of still likes the thing. Turning his head to watch the green swirling, it’s kind of pretty really and focusing on the humming sound it makes seems to make him feel a bit better.

Turning his head to the stairs as he hears his mom coming back down, instantly mentally pleading for her to hurry up and make the pain go away. He doesn’t even complain when she sticks the pills in his mouth herself and holds the glass to his mouth for him to drink. Which he drinks a bit greedily as he realises just how dry his throat is, with a vague memory of screams tearing up his throat, bubbling to the surface in the process.

Coughing a little, as he finishes the glass off and notices his hand is back in a black glove as he wipes his mouth. Squinting at it before tilting his head down and cringing at the bandaging covering his chest. Then cringing from the pain of bending his torso even slightly. Leaning back against the wall with a sharp hiss. Maddie pats at his uninjured hand, “you’re not a ghost sweetie, somehow. You changed back and you, you have a pulse. It’s slow but it’s there”. Cracking open his eyes again and looking to both of them, Jack nods reassuringly, “you’re not dead, son”. Danny wants to hear his heartbeat or whatever himself, no way he’s going to try checking his pulse. Lifting his hand up, he points at his chest and draws a little heart in the air. “We haven’t checked that yet sweetie, do you want us to now?”.

At Danny’s nod, Maddie gets up and grabs the stethoscope, gingerly placing it over the bandaging. Wincing as Danny winces from the light contact, but knowing they all really needed to confirm his heart was in fact, beating. She can see the pleading in his eyes as she listens, smiling a little as she can clearly hear the beating but, like his pulse, it’s way too slow and there’s something else. Sounding kind of like a deep hum in tune with drumming but inside of a cave. She really has no clue what could be making that sound. It’s too consistent to be his heart and there’s no whooshing for it to be from his lungs. Blinking as she realises that her taking so long is probably worrying her son. Cleaning the ear pieces off before leaning over and putting them in Danny’s ears, “it’s still there, don’t worry”. She doesn’t blame him for tearing up a little at hearing it though, even if the tearing is probably partly from pain. His smile looks a bit strained as he nods a little.

Jack takes that as his turn to listen, wiping it off and listening for himself. Also picking up on the strange reverberating hum, deciding to not mention it as he’s pretty sure his son wouldn’t have realised that’s not normal. Because right now, his son getting better was more important than what’s normal. Besides, normal is an oxymoron for a Fenton. Smiling and nodding at his son quickly before realising that he’s either asleep or passed out, again.

Maddie’s holding up Danny’s head as she turns to him, “I think we should get him into bed now. Think you’re up for carrying him?”. Jack nods and gingerly picks him up, while Maddie positions his head so it doesn’t roll backwards.

As Maddie’s tucking him in bed, Jack looks at her worried, “what do you think that humming was? I’ve never heard anything quite like it Mads. And the ghost but then not a ghost thing? What happened to him Mads?”. Jack knows she’s the smarter of the two and better at thinking on the fly.

But Maddie wishes she knew, shaking her head, “I don’t know Jack. But I think it’s best we don’t mention it to him, at least not till his burns are healed or something”. Jack chuckles hollowly, “this, this is not how I wanted to see my first ghost”. Maddie nods as she slumps down onto the floor, “me neither, me neither”.

End.

[nerdtrash-iteration]

(Re)watching Doctor Who: series 3

So I rewatched series 1 and 2 of the revived era of Doctor Who in July 2017 and December 2017 respectively. Was intending to keep going and then that just didn’t happen. But I discovered a fantastic YouTube channel called Council of Geeks (https://www.youtube.com/user/councilofgeeks) recently. They do all kinds of geeky content and reminded me of how much I loved Doctor Who. So I got back to series 3 about 2 months ago and now I’m nearly finished series 4. So here we go: Series 3 (Tenth Doctor): -Can I just first say that wow do I appreciate Martha so much more now. I haven’t seen these episodes in 7 years and now I’ve definitely grown to love Martha a lot more now. The show really does her dirty with her crush on the Doctor. They didn’t need to be that unsubtle about it! And Martha herself is great! She’s quick-thinking and witty and practical but empathetic. -3.0: I’m still very fond of “The Runaway Bride”. I can see why it’s not for everyone but it is my kind of humour. And I love the ending. Hinting at more depth between the Doctor and Donna to come. -3.1: Christ, this episode is goofy. And really hones in on the rebound companion metaphor, which is barely a metaphor at this point. I like this introduction of Martha. And her high-maintenance family. -3.2: Another goofy episode. I like Martha’s interest in how time travel works. Also the Doctor saying “Just walk around like you own the place, works for me”. Really not super gone on Shakespeare here though. The running joke of “Oh I could use that line” just felt too forced for me. -3.3: I LOVE “GRIDLOCK” SO MUCH AND ALWAYS HAVE. The premise is soooooo scary to me and I love the side characters we get. Including the first queer female characters in Doctor Who! Also damn, that conversation about Gallifrey at the end. -3.4 + 3.5: A fair few seem to hate this Dalek storyline. I don’t but I’m not really fond of it. Side characters are kinda forgettable, except Tullulah, I like her. I think I mostly got “Agent Carter” charming vibes off the time period, which helped me not hate it. Also I really don’t understand why the Doctor wants to help the Daleks? It felt quite unbelievable to me. -3.6: I remember liking “The Lazarus Experiment” 7 years ago for its premise, but damn this episode does not hold up. Some parts are good though. More interactions with Martha’s family is cool. A mention of Harold Saxon here. But the monster is just laughable. I really like the idea of some horrifying blueprints of a creature being hidden in our DNA but this choice is just way too far removed from human to work for me. -3.7: Eh is how I feel on this episode. It kinda feels like “Impossible Planet”/”The Satan Pit” but with a lot of the life gone. Characters are not that engaging, monster is ehhhh. BUT This episode had me tearing up when Martha is on the phone with her mother and is convinced she’s about to die. And just wants to talk about something normal. Like “Tell me what you’re doing for dinner”. That had me in bits. -3.8 + 3.9: OH MY GOD THIS STORY IS PERFECT I love the idea of the Doctor being hidden like this. I love the setting, I love the side characters we see. The Family of Blood are terrifying, hats off to the acting. The off facial expressions and off delivery were sooooo creepy. Also the tragedy of John Smith here really got to me. Realising he could indeed have a normal life and be happy. But it’s all just a cover. “When I kissed you, was that a lie?” JESUS D: Only complaint is Martha again harping on about being in love with the Doctor. You deserved better than this, Martha. Also I’m not a massive fan of the psychic child and the decisions he makes, he’s a bit frustrating. -3.10: OF COURSE I’M GOING TO STILL LOVE THE BRILLIANCE THAT IS “BLINK”. I’m pretty sure this was the first episode of Doctor Who I ever saw. And it still holds up so well. Love this use of the bootstrap paradox. Love all the side characters. Especially Billy, his story was so sad :( Angels are super scary. Dialogue is snappy and clever. AND THE ENDING SHOT, YESSSSS. -3.11 + 3.12 + 3.13: Okay I loved these last 3 episodes 7 years ago and I still do. I love the idea of humanity trying to escape the end of the universe, only to tragically become the villains for present-day humans. Love Jack returning. Love the explanation of “You Are Not Alone”. I quite like this version of the Master. Both Derek Jacobi and John Simms. Really like his wife too, and the scene with the reporter was great. That reporter gave me a Harriet Jones vibe. The end of “The Sound of Drums” is great. With Martha escaping and looking back up at the sky in determination. Saying “I’m coming back”. I was like “DAMN RIGHT YOU WILL!!!!”. I feel the way the Doctor is saved is very cheesy and doesn’t quite hold up for me but I’ll allow it. Also I know the year of time was reversed so 1/10 of the population wasn’t killed off, but I still struggle to get behind the Doctor saying to the Master “I forgive you”. Like SHOULD you though???? Also the biggest change in opinion for this series: on first viewing I hated why Martha left the Doctor. I didn’t see why she should leave just because he doesn’t reciprocate her romantic feelings. If you have the opportunity to travel through space and time, why would you pass it up. Now 7 years later, I completely disagree with past me. Of COURSE she should have left him! She wasn’t getting what she wanted out of the relationship and so the healthy thing to do was indeed to leave! Go Martha! Overall I do really like this series. It does have a lot of goofy and ehhh episodes. But it also has some really great ones. And Martha Jones deserved so much better.

[dream-rabbit]

A little summary of The Mystical Villa Montezuma Mansion, provided by reactions of @wingatron and myself:

First thing I see is Shane’s back, already blessed

Ryan calling Shane ‘sir’... just saying

the banter is A+ and they didn’t even enter the house

COWABUNGA

is it just me or Ryan looks really tired

party. boots. I  want party boots

FIRST EVER INVESTIGATORS ON THE SIGHT I’M SO PROUD

plays Toxic by Britney Spears: ‘‘Ghosts, are you there?’’

‘‘I did have a dummy for a while.’’ - Shane, the ventriloquist

why does that explain so much about him

HE’S LETTING IT SIZZLE

I can’t stop laughing and neither can they

Look at those tears. Best uncut sequence ever

ICONIC

ghost stethoscope, we need to have alternative names for every device Ryan has that are in the spirit of Shane’s humor

Shane looks really intimidating in this lighting

‘‘..really pounded away...’’ - Shane out of context

BEYCHELLA

‘‘Ghouls, I beg of you! Sing!’’ - Shane acknowledging the paranormal in order to avoid the spirit box

‘‘MEATBALLS’’

‘‘You would know.’’

Spaghetti and apple tater ghost, is that you??

Ryan freaking lost it at this ghost! He shouted shut up at the spirit box! Where is the sweet ghost loving boy we knew, can’t say I’m not a fan of this newfound aggression towards ghosts and ghouls

‘‘What year?’’ was a good catch, too bad it wasn’t followed by anything else

‘‘What colour shoes am I wearing?’’ - Ryan, clueless of the vine ghost as he whispers ‘‘What are thoooose?’’

I love how Ryan’s two options for ghosts are talk to us or kill Shane

‘‘What’re you an animal???’’ - A+ poop banter

A SKEEBALL AT THE END OF A CREEPY HALLWAY - step number one in the dealing with ghouls guide

Ryan, baby so brave to stay in that bathroom

Damn it, last time we saw a seance they held hands, we downgraded y’all

‘‘They captured a ghost in this box.’’ - Shane peak humor

‘‘and thaaaaaaaaat’s Ryan.’’ - DOES THINGS TO ME

Some good movie/book recommendations from our boys

This is what they talk about at 3 am, Shane choking on avocados

Why not have a secret entrance to the kitchen! I want a secret entrance to every room for no goddamn reason!

Treasure?! NAH RAPTOR BONES

OH MY GOD IT’S TIMMY’S BALL

Did they just tell the ghost to find a retirement home

I’m living for this banter

I love the way Ryan is cooped up and Shane’s legs are all over the room like a goddamn tube man

THEY ARE SERVING SOME LOOKS

The way Shane just left Ryan, baby... ‘‘Unbelievable.’’

They are actual CHILDREN

Shane had to duck so far down to enter that secret room

A jack off joke to end the season

Only legends

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: Best Film of 2018

Another year has passed and man was it a good year with some great films. Now I know I missed a good number of them, but I saw the ones that interested me. This list comprises of the best films that either wowed or moved me. Now I try to keep these lists at 10 films, but this year I'm adding one extra slot. If you want the full review of each film then click each title. Now without further ado, here's my list of the best film 2018! First up......

Blockers: It has truly been a while since we've had a fresh idea come to the teen sex comedy genre and this one was what the genre needed. It was genuinely funny in so many ways and unexpectedly heartfelt and sweet. The sight gags were truly fantastic and hilarious especially the "kiss the car moment". I loved the chemistry each parent had with their teenagers and the over all message of growing up and acceptance. American Pie was of my generation and this film was for this generation and I still loved it.

A Quiet Place: If there was a list of the best trailers of 2018, then this film’s trailer would win. Originality is key to the horror/sci fi thriller and the fact that director John Krasinski tapped into that with a genius idea was truly surprising. Known for comedy, it was a great switch to see his more dramatic side. I loved the family story that surrounded the constant threat in the world and it made for some of the most thrilling moments on screen once certain family members were alone. I truly was on the edge of my seat the entire film and I had one of the rare theater experiences where I was in a full theater and nobody made a sound. No crinkling of rappers, whispering or cell phone usage. Everyone was engaged completely. Man I loved this film.

Hereditary: I love the resurgence of slow burn horror films. Not all have mastered it yet, but the ones that do are truly special. This film was creepy and heartbreaking in so many ways. If it was just a family drama then it would be great, but with the addition of the horror element it becomes a masterpiece. The whole cast delivers great performances, but Toni Collette was unbelievably fantastic and I hope she gets nominated for Best Actress. She was so real and gut wrenching when tragedy hits her. This was truly the best horror film of the year and it should not be missed by anyone.

Incredibles 2: Why did it take 14 years until we finally got a sequel to one of the best original animated superhero films?! Well the wait was worth it because Pixar delivered once again. Not only does the family get more challenging drama sprinkled into their lives, but things get kinda scary. I loved every sequence with Elastic Girl, but Jack Jack stole the entire film with his fight with the raccoon. Every year Pixar delivers with their original stories and it was about time that my favorite Pixar film got the sequel it deserved. PLEASE don't make us wait another 14 years for Incredibles 3!  

Blackkklansman: I love Spike Lee. He is and will always be one of the most powerful voices in the black community and in cinema. To see his take on one of the most dangerous and awesome true stories was truly exciting. I did have a hesitation about seeing the film because at times racism related films can be a too aggravating, but I gave it a chance and loved it. It was a story that needed to be told on the big screen and with all the powerful messages. The performances were great all around and I loved John David Washington and his chemistry with Adam Driver. The pair were excellent apart and together. The ending of the film was a strong political and social message that was heard loud and clear and I loved the film all the more for it.

Mission: Impossible - Fallout: Again and again this franchise gets even more intense with its fantastic storytelling and astounding action sequences that are breathtaking. The reason why these films are still loved is because the action is real and gritty. Tom Cruise keeps this franchise fresh and as Ethan Hunt he hasn't stopped being great. From start to finish the connections to past films and the twists were truly amazing and I loved the rivalry between Tom and Henry Cavil's character August Walker. This was an espionage epic and another definition of how to keep your franchise fresh.

Bohemian Rhapsody: It is very rare to do a film about an influential band right and I think that's the reason why we don't see films like this anymore. The ultimate challenge was presented to do a film on possibly the greatest band England and the world has ever seen and will ever know. I was so happy with the results of this magnificent film. So much care and heart went into the making of this film and immortalized Queen and Freddie Mercury while showing respect to his memory. Everybody wants the deep, dirty and dark side of a person's life, but that wasn't the important part of the film. It is rightfully addressed, but it doesn't consume the film. This was a love letter to Queen and to all the generations of fans that were there from the beginning, who grew up with Queen and for the new ones just discovering them now.

Avengers: Infinity War: 10 years of a serialized film universe has finally come together in what is to be known as one of greatest technical achievements in storytelling and filmmaking. All this time the powers behind the Marvel Cinematic Universe have taken risk after risk and it has paid off each time. Now this film brings almost all of the characters we know and love and puts them together in a cohesive story that spans across the globe and stars and it keeps the grounded feel that has been consistent throughout each film. The action was fantastic it was truly breathtaking to see a film of this scale to be the first film shot entirely in IMAX. The moment we started losing characters was truly heartbreaking and a communal tear was shed for one in particular. I loved this film and I can't wait for Endgame.

A Star is Born: It is the one story that has been told countless times and a film that has been remade 3 times prior and I have to say that this is the best version. The music in the film was fantastic and the way that the live performances were shot was expertly done. I felt as if I was onstage with Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. The two of them delivered outstanding performances and Lady Gaga has shown her acting chops before, but this was on another level of excellence. Their bond throughout the film was the heart that kept beating steadily and when it breaks, it breaks your soul. I loved this film so much and I haven't stopped listening to the soundtrack to this day.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse: If there's one character that has had more reboots than anybody else, its Spider-Man. The entire franchise has been rebooted and plagued with 3 bad films and luckily the character was saved by the MCU handlers. Now comes the story of a new Spider-Man and my god was it astounding. The visuals alone were groundbreaking and pushed what can be done in animation to the next level. The story was a perfect introduction to a fan favorite Miles Morales and a worthy origin story for him. This film exceed all my expectations and blew the doors off how origin stories are made. This was a crowning achievement in filmmaking and storytelling and will be one of the most influential story for children of all ages and race. Such a masterpiece.

And now the moment is here. The best film of 2018 is......

Black Panther: I have waited with baited breath for the moment that the first black superhero in comic book history would finally get his own film and it finally happened. Not only did the film fully bring to life the hero, but also his world and the heritage with the African nation. The colors and art style exploded off the screen in every frame. Wakanda was finally brought to life with such skill, love and respect. The film had many themes of family, ancestoral history, but at its core was a social commentary on growing up in 2 different worlds. One in America and one in Africa. The many similarities between T'Challa and Killmonger were great and although both world views were different, both were righteous in their beliefs. Killmonger had a point in the fact that Wakanda is far more advanced than any nation and the technological advances should be shared and used for domination. He was kinda right, but wrong in his execution. He made for one of the best villains/idealists and it was one Michael B. Jordan's best performances. Chadwick Boseman has always been a class act and he becomes T'Challa in this film and I loved his journey. Winston Duke stole the film as M'Baku and he is one of the best characters the MCU has. Black Panther is the film that encapsulates everything that is good in the MCU and its story is the most influential and gives the black community a hero we can all learn from and root for. This film is a cinematic staple that will not be forgotten and deserves every accolade it receives.

And that's it people! That is my list of the best films of 2018! What a great year for film and I can't wait to see what 2019 has to offer. With the upcoming slate, I think my list will be harder to make come next January.

[5saucefanfic]

Rookie of the Year: 1 - LH

So I think I’m gonna make this 5 parts.....maybe more depending on what I decide to do. But this is such a concept that I live for.

“Hemmings, tuck your elbow in and sit back more. Your ass is hanging out too far. You’re losing your balance,” his coach said as they went through batting practice. The team split up into three groups as some went to the other practice fields, Luke standing in the group of starters a bit nervous since he was the only freshman on his college team that was expected to start...and as a pitcher. To say he was shitting himself would be an understatement.

They were taking it easy on their light practice since tomorrow would be the first day of preseason and they needed everyone to rest, especially since they’d be playing all weekend. They wanted to get everyone in for a good rotation before keeping the lineups permanent for the beginning of the season.

Luke did as he was told as one of the assistant coaches tossed him the ball much slower than an actual pitch, a loud crack heard as he sent it up and over the fence of the game field, a huge smile plastered on his coach’s face as his eyes followed the ball silently thanking the gods his pitcher could hit. He was one of the top recruits in the country the previous year, choosing to stay local and attend UCLA on a full scholarship for all four years. It was a win win situation.

It was still a bit chilly out considering it was early February, everyone dressed in there baseball pants and cleats with a team sweatshirt on over that that sported a pretty ‘UCLA’ across the front in a yellowish gold over the baby blue material of the sweater. Unlike most of the others, Luke didn’t have his hood or hat on, not even wearing his hat letting his freshly washed curls dance all over the place. He didn’t really fancy the hats, usually only wearing them during games because he hated the sunglasses even more. It was just a distraction.

He made his way to the back of the line noticing a girl leaning against the fence on the inside of the field watching him, black high waisted jeans pulled up over her navel, crop top on just over her chest with a red flannel on. Her hair was up in a messy bun, but it suited her. He couldn’t tell exactly what expression her face held, lips held in a straight line until she bit down on her bottom lip.

“Isn’t this a closed practice?” he asked to one of the boys in front of him. Ashton, a junior catcher, turning to see who he was looking at catching a glimpse of the girl, a small smirk adorning his face when he registered who it was and why she was standing there, although he’d never tell Luke.

“That’s y/n, the coach’s little sister. She’s a sophomore here,” he said back as Luke turned to face him a bit startled, regretting his question. ”You ever see Remember the Titans?”

“The football movie?” he asked seeing Ashton nod. “What about it?”

“Think of her as Sheryl. She takes baseball really fucking seriously. She made Joey cry after the first preseason game last year because he missed a grounder and let the other team get a double.” He explained as they inched further up the line. “She’s ruthless, but knows her shit. Barnes let her on the coaching staff, mostly doing stats.”

“Why doesn’t she just play softball…?” he asked.

“She had a bad accident going into freshman year last year...she can’t. No one talks about it. Coach freaks out every time someone brings it up.” He explained as they made it to the front of the line, Ashton going to take his turn. Luke turned his head once again looking at her seeing she’d made her way to the dugout grabbing a couple snacks that the coach had brought before making her way to the coach, her brother.

“Alright, freshman, hit another homer and we’re done” his coach said, Luke jumping quickly grabbing the bat getting back on the mound. He did his little pre bat routine, hitting the bat off the toe of his cleats and swinging it around before getting into position with his elbow tucked in as his coach had previously said before. He waited for his other coach to toss the ball seeing it was a real pitch this time and not just a toss, Luke waiting for the perfect moment before swinging, the ball flying out over the fence. His teammates cheered as he could hear his coach muttering a ‘told you’ to his sister as she rolled her eyes laughing. It was music to his ears.

The boys went to the dugout packing up their things after being officially dismissed , most getting ready to quickly shower before running off to class or grab some lunch, Luke staying instead to practice his pitches, gathering up a bucket of balls to use.

“I wouldn’t do that” he heard a female voice say from behind him, Luke quickly turning to see y/n standing there with her hands in her pockets, eyes quickly looking over his entire frame before resting on his face. “First preseason game starts tomorrow and it’s gonna set the tone for the entire season. You’ll tire your arm out practicing and you’ll be useless. Nicky needs you tomorrow because he doesn’t have a pitcher that’s balls have actually dropped yet aside from yours. You need to go stretch your shoulder and then ice it. And then you’re gonna heat it in the morning and stretch again before we leave, and the heatit in Portland.”

“You’re a bit bossy aren’t you” he said back, a blush immediately creeping up his face shocked he said that out loud as she raised her eyebrows pushing her hip out so the side as her weight shifted drastically to her left leg nearly taking her right leg off the ground.

“I like to win, and so doesn’t Nicky. Don’t fuck it up by making a rookie mistake. You’re the best shot we have at winning the championship this season, Hemmings, so best believe I’m gonna be on your ass until there’s a ring on my finger,” she said almost giving him a compliment as she crossed her arms.

“H-how do you know my name?” he asked furrowing his eyebrows a bit shocked.

“Who do you think told Nicky to recruit you?” she asked shrugging. “I help him with scouting. I’m a stats person, unlike Nicky...your pitching average is unbelievable. You set records for being a prep school pitcher. Your stats are even better than some MLB players. Batting could get better but with the way you hit today, I wouldn’t be worried. You’ve got great potential,” she said before turning headed back to the fence where she came from that lead back to campus. “Go ice your shoulder Hemmings. I’ll be checking in later.”

~

“So, Michael heard from Mitch who heard from Brian who heard from Jack who said that Ashton said he saw you talking to Coach Barnes’s sister today after practice,” Calum said smirking as Luke rolled his eyes rubbing the towel through his hair rapidly trying to towel dry it. He had a pair of grey sweatpants hanging off his hips. “What’d she say?”

“She reprimanded me for trying to practice” he grumbled still a bit annoyed that she told him what to do, but he did it anyways, his muscles actually feeling a lot better after he did so. “What’s her deal anyways?”

“Well, this is what I heard from Ashton since he grew up with Nick and y/n, but I guess the summer before she started here, she was in a tournament for softball and she tore her rotator cuff in the middle of her high school state tournament. So her coach called an ambulance to take her to the hospital because I think Ashton said they had made the tournament as well for the NCAA and were in Florida, and on the way to the hospital the ambulance crashed, shattered some bones in her throwing arm and her leg. Was told she couldn’t play again.”

“Wow…” he said softly frowning as Calum nodded. “That’s seriously shitty luck. Why didn’t her parents just take her to the hospital?”

“Coach’s parents have been dead for years mate, died when he was a student here,” Calum sighed. “But whatever she reprimanded you about, listen to her. She knows what she’s talking about...she doesn’t just yell at anyone. Maybe she fancies you.”

“Oh totally,” Luke said sarcastically while rolling his eyes as he heard a knock on the door. He sighed softly going to open it, blushing when his eyes met with the girl they had previously just been talking about. He hadn’t noticed that she only came up just below his shoulders. She had to tilt her head up to look at him.

“Did you do what I said?” she asked, Calum chuckling softly in the background deciding to put on a pair of shoes and sweatshirt so he could leave them be.

“How did you find out where I live?” he stammered noticing how bare his body really was in that moment.

“Smooth mate” Calum mumbled. “Y/n, wonderful to see you again. If you two will excuse me, I’m going to go visit my girlfriend.” He said slipping out of the room

“You didn’t answer my question” she said after a minute of silence.

“Yea, well you didn’t answer mine” he said frowning pouting slightly. He didn’t even know he did it half the time. It just happened naturally. She hesitated for a moment, watching his lip jut out slightly. She knew she was lying to herself when she said she had no interest in the baby pitcher, using baseball as her cover up to be around him. She knew that Nicholas, her brother, knew it too, but he wouldn’t admit to it. He was just happy she was starting to show an interest in something that wasn’t a baseball or a bat. She was finally starting to open up after a year and a half from her accident.

“I found out from Nicky. I said I had to follow up with you about something from earlier and it was less creepy than taking your number from his phone. And if it wasn’t Nicky, I would’ve asked Ashton. Did you do what I said?” she said, a sassy tone laced in all her words. He loved it.

“Yes, yes,” he said quickly feeling like he was explaining himself to his mother. “You really are bossy, you know. Do you do this to everyone?” he said as she rolled her eyes.

“I'm just making sure you’re on your a game tomorrow, Luke.” she said patting his chest ignoring his second question since she had never done this to any of the guys on the team. “And go put a shirt on. I’ll see you for breakfast.”

“And what time is breakfast, Barnes?” he asked crossing his arms watching her walk off for the second time that day. He had to force himself to keep his eyes on the back of her head and not move down to her ass, although he had already done that earlier and knew she had a very, very nice ass.

“Six thirty, sharp. Tell Hood too. His ass always sleeps in too late” she said before getting into the elevator. He sighed softly shaking his head before turning back inside the door to finish his homework so he could submit it first thing in the morning before they left.

[nihilwrites]

Two Johns Walk Into a Bar

"Ok so this one time in like 1603 or some shit - stay with me here, the date isn't important. But ok, it was like mid-november right? Cold as shit, but not a flake of snow in sight. And I walked right into him. Like not even in a metaphorical way. I was walking by the Thames, hat pulled down, head against the wind, and then BOOM! Walked right into him. Unbelievable, right?"

"Right ok, so I know you expect that to be the surprising part of the story, but can we get back to the date for a second?"

"Nah, don't worry about that shit. That's just fucking, what's the word - setting! Doesn't mean anything. But I've gotta tell you about the conversation. Cause let me tell you brother, this motherfucker could talk."

"Ok but how did you know it was him? Did he say, or -"

"This bitch was a literal motherfucking skeleton in a black fucking cloak. Who else was it gonna be?"

"Right, ok. So you met Death in 1603 and -"

"Give or take a few decades, I don't know. That was 400 fucking years ago, you sort of lose track. But this was a fucking timeless conversation, brother. Literal, again. I swear that bony white asshole stopped time right there, cause we talked all day and the sun didn't move an inch. Wind kept blowing though. Cold as shit."

The man shivered and waved the bartender over for a refill. The beer arrived and he quaffed it down in one, two, three, four huge gulps, then called for another.

His wary drinking partner took a little sip of his own beer and waited for the gruff stranger to continue his story. He glanced at his watch, but it held no surprises. He'd half expected it to be frozen at 12:44 PM, but the hands had crept forward and it now said 1:08 PM. This was supposed to be a lunch break, but he was damned if he was going to leave now. This was the most interesting conversation he'd had in a decade, even if the other guy was a delusional drunk. And if he got fired from his shitty office job for being late, then all the better.

"Anyway, there we were, me n' Death, standing by that dirty-ass river, and I - get this, I actually did this - I apologized to him!"

Adopting a posh British accent, he said mockingly, "ooooooh, so sorry, my good sir, I didn't see you there! Do pardon my clumsiness."

He slipped back into his American accent and continued, "And bone-boy just stared at me, grinning. Not that he had much choice, you know. You ever see human skull? Fucking grinning all the time. What are they so happy about, huh? They're dead!"

He laughed very hard at this, almost like it was funny. The businessman laughed along obligingly, even though he wasn't particularly amused.

Wiping a tear of mirth from his eye, the man said, "Anyway, I didn't know what to do at that point. Didn't want to be rude, you know? Like, 'oh, excuse me sir, I couldn't help noticing that you don't have a face. Would you mind terribly if I ran screaming in terror?' So I just stood there like an idiot, till he spoke to me. You know what he said? Classic fucking Death, let me tell you. 'I've been waiting for you, John.' he said. Where he was hiding his vocal chords, I'll never know, but it sounded like the - what do you call it- Echo! Yeah like the last echo you hear if you shout your name in a cave. Like just before you can't hear it anymore. You know that the sound's still going, getting quieter and quieter, but at some point you just can't hear it anymore. But the last one you hear- that you're sure you heard, not like the oh maybe I heard it maybe I'm imagining it one - that one. That's what it sounded like. Just like that."

John paused to drink. The businessman was a little disappointed to learn his name was John. Such a common name, for such an uncommon man. They were both John, actually, only John the businessman went by Jack. He could never understand why his parents named him John if they were always planning to call him Jack, but by the time he was old enough to question it, Jack he was, and Jack he remained, except on paper. Jack thought he might tell this to John the storyteller, but it seemed hopelessly pathetic to interrupt a story about meeting death to say something as inane as 'Oh! We have the same name!' so he held his tongue.

"Anyway that was some pretty scary shit. How did the skeleton man know my name? I knew he was Death, of course. That was obvious. And he'd been waiting for me. So I thought, of course, I'm about to die! I'd always thought Death was supposed to show up after you die, so I sort of looked around for my body. Like had I died from the cold and not noticed? Was I a ghost standing right over my own corpse? But no, none of that shit. Too stereotypical. Too common. But I had to say something, right? Death was waiting for me! Can't keep death waiting, right? So you know what I said? I thought I was so fucking clever. Didn't know shit back then. I said, 'How strange, I've been avoiding you.' Can you believe that? Like he was some annoying colleague I'd met at a party and I was trying to brush off or something. The Gray motherfucking Man himself.

"And you know what he did next? He laughed. Funny, right? I made a joke at Death's  expense and he fucking laughed at it. You ever hear a skeleton laugh? No, you haven't. No one has. Least, no one I've met. Well it's fucking bone-chilling is what it is. All echos and chattering teeth and big ol' grins. And I laughed along with him, like the nervous little meatbag I am. Nervous laughter. All high and squeaky. And I swear, he was laughing in my voice. I told a goddamn joke and Death had the nerve to laugh at it in my own damn voice.

"You know what a joke is, brother? It's a setup, then a surprise. That's it. You just say something surprising at the end of the sentence, and it's a joke! You know how hard it is to surprise Death? Fucking hard. Damn near omniscient, that guy is. But I did it somehow. And you know what else? He fucking loved it.

"When he got done laughing, he put his bony little fingers on my shoulder and said, 'You're too god damn special to die, John. I've been standing on this path for an hour with my spooky fucking cloak and my dumb skeleton grin, but you had your god damn hat down and didn't even notice. How'd you like to live forever, John? A special thank you for making an Old God laugh?'

"No you're not imagining it right, brother. You've got to hear it in his voice. That low-down echo, you know? All slow, and ominous. It didn't sound like he was doing me a fucking favor, I can tell you that. Special thank you my ass. What was I supposed to do about it, though? No man denies death, especially when he's got that creepy fucking grin right up in your business and his sharp little bones in your shoulder and a cold wind blowing in the timeless air. So I said, 'Thank you, sir' and that was that. Can you believe it? I bumped into Death, apologized, got cursed with immortality, and then thanked him for it. What a fucking pushover.

"Anyway he spent the next few hours imparting all the secrets of the universe to me, which was pretty cool. Do you want to know all the secrets of the Universe?"

Jack didn't think he wanted to know all the secrets of the Universe, but he might have time for a few, before he really had to get back to the office. He looked at his watch. 1:08 PM.

"Nah, I didn't ask that right. I meant it more like this," said John. With a voice like the last echo in a cave, he asked again, "Do you want to know all the secrets of the Universe?"

[titansealgair]

GilmoreGirls sentence starters Ep 1 Pt 1

“ You’re a Regular Jack Kerouac ”

“ I’m just screwing with your mind ____, Nice to meet you, Welcome to ____”

“ Anything in there not resembling a breakfast cereal?”

“God, Ru Paul doesn’t need this much makeup”

“ He’s got quite a pair this guy”

“ Are you my new Daddy?”

“ That’s possibly very sweet of you”

“ Oh no, Don’t move, just ignore the tiny woman pushing a 200-pound instrument around, no this is good I like this, next time I’ll push a piano”

“Oh that’s right lady tie your shoe now, yeah don’t worry I’ll wait”

“O-oh I’m sorry did you not want a harp player?”

“Did you not want a great harp player?”

“Okay, I am a great harp player, and this is my great harp, kay, so if you are looking for someone to just be nice to the guests, get a harmonica player. Maybe some guy who whistles through his nose.”

“Ma’am, you have no idea how desperately I’d like to help. But see I’d have to build a room for you myself, and I’m not a man who works with his hands”

“He was here, he did nothing, it’s 100 dollars”

“ Well because you told me you did and I never forget anything, so this one’s on you right? Pleasure doing business with you”

“ What is your offspring doing?”

“Cmon _____ I’ll tell all the ladies what a stud you are”

“Hmph I believe that memo has already been sent”

“ I despise you”

“ When are you going to let your parents know that you listen to the evil rock music? You’re an American teenager for god's sake”

“ My parents set me up with the son of a business associate, he’s gonna be a doctor”

“ Koreans never joke about future doctors”

“ I’m still fuzzy about what's fun about sitting in the cold for two hours with a bundle of sticks up your butt”

“ I wanna take a bath in that sauce”

“ Someday when we own our own in diabetics will line up to eat this sauce”

“We have contact”

“Wow I can hear the disappointment from here”

“ She doesn’t trust unmarried women”

“ I’m hay riding with a future proctologist, I have potential”

“ I have muffins with no dairy, no sugar, no wheat. You have to soak them in the tea to make them soft enough to bite, but they’re very healthy”

“I offered to do the principle to get her in”

“You’re happy, Did you do something slutty?”

“I’m gonna be in a Britney Spears video?”

“You didn’t th- with the principle did you?”

“Nope, people are particularly stupid today I can’t talk to any more of them”

“No a back job is robbing a bank, it was a joke”

“Oh sweetie no one wants your car”

“_____, There are several chapters from a Stephen King novel I’d reenact before I take that option”

“You look like you were swallowed by a kilt”

“Okay there is academic minded, and then there’s Amish”

“How do I look? Korean?”

“God! You’re like Ruth Gordon just standing there with a tannish root, make a noise”

“Chicago? Windy. Oprah...”

“They make really good cakes here, they’re very... round”

“Uh.. well I’ve been watching you”

“I mean not in the creepy like I’m watching you way I just, I’ve noticed you”

“Everyday. After school, you come out and you sit under that tree there and you read. Last week it was madam boverie, this week its moby dick. “

“ Because you’re nice to look at and because you got unbelievable concentration. “

“Last Friday these two guys were tossing around a ball and one guy nailed the other right in the face. I mean it was a mess, blood everywhere, the nurse came out, the place was in chaos, his girlfriend was all freaking out and you just sat there and read. I mean you never even looked up. I thought I’ve never seen anyone read so intensely before in my entire life, I have to meet that girl/boy”

[footbaliimagines]

attention (a hector bellerin imagine)

this is the sequel to happy birthday (if you haven’t read that yet or want to refresh considering I posted it about 45 years ago it’s linked here) but more so from hector’s perspective this time. it’s vaguely based on attention by charlie puth (an absolute BANGER) and I hope you like it :+)

maybe you just hate the thought of me with someone new

you just want attention

you’re just making sure I’m never getting over you

It’s July, the peak of summer, and the weather outside is humid and surprisingly warm for London. Hector and his friends are celebrating for one last time before the new season begins, as a final hurrah and opportunity to go out and not worry about the consequences before the return of strict dietary regimes, a cycle of unending training sessions and weekends busy driving up and down the country. The club is hot and sweaty, with the thumping bass and sporadic bursts of bright light not helping the humidity in the slightest.

She’s wearing that dress again.

And she’s swaying side to side, head tilted back ever so slightly, hair tumbling down her back in messy, loose waves and hips moving to the beat. The flashing lights of the club are reflecting off the silver of her earrings and her dress is gripping her curves, taunting him, teasing him, as she sucks on her straw. It’s an innocent action but Hector’s mind can’t help but wander elsewhere.

He wasn’t expecting her to come tonight.

(It’s probably a good thing, too, a blessing in disguise that he was unaware, because otherwise he probably would have convinced himself that turning up at all was a bad idea full stop, and that staying at home, wallowing in Game of Thrones, would be much more appealing.)

Hector clenches his fists and leans back on the sofa behind him. His friends are surrounding him and laughing and knocking back shots, slapping his shoulder and his knee and whenever a particularly good song comes on, jumping to their feet. All he can do, on the other hand, is watch her.

It feels creepy, and he knows that deep down he shouldn’t be staring at her so intently, but coming out and wearing a dress like that and dancing like that so nearby meant that anything else would have been virtually impossible.

She has to know what she’s doing.

(She must know.)

And it must be on purpose.

Hector can’t help but muse that it’s all probably a massive cry for attention- and not just anyone in the club’s attention, because if this were the case he wouldn’t care and he’d be happy for her to go home with anyone she pleases- but his attention.

(She was doing a pretty damn good job at capturing it, if that were the case.)

She flips her hair over her shoulder and gives him a look, dipping her head forwards slightly. They’re standing metres away from each other, and the space of the dancefloor between them is littered with people, but she’s always had this funny habit of being the only person he could focus on in a crowded room. When they make eye contact again, she presses her lips together in a smile.

(Or rather, an attempt at a smile. It was more a mixture of a glare and a frown, and her eyes are burning into him to such an extent that he when he stands up to greet her, he nearly trips over his own feet.)

Her eyes are gleaming under the lights, shrouded in smoky eye makeup and narrowing slightly, captivatingly, as she sends a coy smile his way.

“I didn’t think you were coming tonight.”

They were familiar words, reminiscent of his birthday party and the last time they spoke, and he’s ready to burst out laughing at the coincidence when Little Mix start to play in the background again.

(Alex’s doing, probably.)

(He can’t say he blames him.)

“This is becoming quite the occurrence, isn’t it?”

Hector nods and exhales. “Yeah, I guess.”

“It’s been a while.”

“How have you been?”

“Fine.” She shrugs, dismissively and calmly. “Are you here with Emily?”

“No.” He replies, and he watches her ears prick up and her eyebrows raise slightly. “She, um, couldn’t make it tonight.”

“Ah,” She nods slowly, before convincing herself that they must have broken up and running with the assumption. There’s a hint of a smile on her face that makes Hector’s blood suddenly run hot. “That’s a shame.”

(To her, it really, really isn’t.)

“No, what I meant was that-.”

She continues, smugly, “You don’t have to explain. Some relationships don’t work out, it’s not a big deal.”

“We’re still together.” He clears his throat. “She’s just busy tonight. We’re still together.”

She grimaces. “That’s embarrassing. Sorry about that.”

He watches her eyes dart nervously around the room, everywhere apart from looking at him, and the smile she had previously adopted, that sadistic pleasure she had taken when thinking they had broken up, has dissipated entirely. Hector almost takes pleasure in watching her squirm.

“No worries.”

“So, you and Emily, then?”

Hector nods slowly, “She’s a friend of Calum’s. We met through him.”

“How long?”

“About a month, give or take a week, I guess.”

She compliments, “She’s lovely.”

(She’s not lying, and she knows deep down that it would be ridiculously unfair to harbour any bad feelings towards Emily.)

(But vodka is currently clouding her judgement, and it hurts, so much that sometimes she thinks she can’t breathe, and heartbreak has made her bitterer and angrier than she’d ever care to admit.)

Hector swallows, his throat dry and restricting his ability to breathe properly, and he runs a hand through his hair. It feels wrong, to talk about another woman with her, and it feels like cheating, in some weird, warped way, despite their current relationship being non-existent, or civil, at best. “Yeah, things are going great.” His voice cracks ever so slightly, revealing the lie he’s telling, but he swallows and nods quickly to play it off as a tickle in his throat.

In reality, things aren’t going so swimmingly. Arguments relating to his apparent inability to commit and disagreements about the direction in which their relationship was going were becoming increasingly common.

(But she of all people doesn’t need to know that.)

“I’m happy for you.” She looks across at him, and maybe it’s the vodka rushing to her head or maybe she’s finally accepting things, but she smiles at him and speaks, “I want you to be happy, Hec.”

(Her smile is sickly sweet, and he knows her too well to fall for it.)

“And I want you to meet Jack.”

The next thing Hector knows, there’s a 6”4 brunette stood next to her with his arm looped around her waist and his right hand offering a handshake. Hector watches his hand snake up around her ribcage and squeeze her side, and he’s almost certain he can taste vomit in the back of his throat. “Nice to meet you.”

She watches his face fall, and smugly asserts, “He’s training to become a surgeon.”

It produces a dull ache in his bones and an emptiness in his gut, and he nods and swallows, smiling forcibly. He’s almost as attractive as a man could possibly be, Hector muses, he’s tall, sculpted, handsome, and he’s virtually drowning in self-pity until he stumps up the courage to look at her again, and he notices the way that she doesn’t make proper eye contact with Jack or appear to listen to what he’s saying at all.

(It’s then, to Hector’s great satisfaction, that he realises Jack’s being used for nothing more than to piss him off.)

(And to his annoyance, it’s been 2 minutes and it’s already working.)

She turns to Jack, placing a well-manicured hand on his chest and fluttering her eyelashes, “Can you grab me another drink, baby?”

Hector leans back and smirks. If she seriously thought that this was going to grab his attention and get a rise out of him- well, he could watch this shit show all day. Jack nods, and wanders towards the bar, and she settles beside him. “He’s great, isn’t he?”

He rolls his eyes, narrowing his eyes and sighing, mock-dramatically, “Makes me wish Emily was here. She would have loved to see you again. God, she probably would have got on well with Jack too!”

“What a fucking shame that is.” She smiles, that sickly sweet, forced smile again, and turns to gesture to Jack again, who was queuing at the bar. “Did I mention that Jack was-“

“Actually, I was saying to Emily before-“

“I don’t want to fucking hear about Emily!” She squeaks out.

The outburst seems to shock her just as much as it does him, and she groans in embarrassment, leaning back against the wall and twiddling the straw of her drink between her fingers. It’s a tell-tale sign of nervousness, of backing down from their verbal battles, and he’s intrigued. When she speaks this time, her voice is softer, and it’s almost like she’s pleading. “Can we just not talk about Emily, please?”

“Why?

“I hate the thought of you with someone new. Thinking- no, knowing, and seeing with my own two eyes- that you’re getting over me is just a bit of a kick in the guts.”

“Yeah, because I’m having a great time sitting here watching you fawn over Jack too.” He rolls his eyes. Hector sighs, and he approaches her; both the familiarity of her perfume and the way that she slowly, carefully, shifts her body in his direction don’t go unnoticed by him. “But I’m not.”

“Not what?”

“Not getting over you.”

“Um-“

“And I’ve wanted to tell you that for a while now, but every time I hold back.” He shakes his head and sneers, “Because I know that’s exactly what you want. You want to watch me squirm and get me to admit to you that I still love you and that I’m not over you, and I-“

“Hector, what the fuck-“

He shakes his head and snaps, “I’m not stupid. Is that why you’ve come here tonight, in that kind of dress and with your makeup done all special, when I know for a fact that you hate clubs in this part of town? I can tell you’re after my attention, and I just wanted to say that it’s doing my fucking head in.”

“You are unbelievable.” She scoffs and shakes her head, before placing her drink down on the table beside them. “I came here tonight because, believe it or not, I have friends here too! And funnily enough, how I dress and how I do my makeup are my own fucking choices, so I don’t think- no, I know- that you have zero right to talk to me like that.”

Her words sting slightly, and he winces before sipping gingerly at his beer. “You’re right. I was bang out of order, and I’m sorry. Sorry.”

She nods curtly, as if to acknowledge his apology but deem it unworthy of a response.

Hector can’t help but probe further, “But come on- he’s not really your boyfriend, is he?”

She scrunches up her eyebrows, and crosses her arms self protectively over her chest. The proximity between the two of them that is swiftly dashed, and she takes a step back. “Actually, he is.”

“You’re such a bad liar.”

She huffs and rolls her eyes, uncrossing her arms. “Well- he’s not my boyfriend boyfriend per se, but we’re still seeing-”

“I knew it.” Hector laughs and knocks back the rest of his beer, propping himself up with his right arm on the ledge between us. “I know you far too well to fall for your little white lies.”

There’s a change in the tone of his voice, and instead of spite there’s some fondness evident. The smile they exchange, a nervous, small smile, is the first of the night not to be laced with malice or another ulterior motive.  

She winces, feeling her heels pinch her toes, and leans onto the same ledge for support. Their arms are mere centimetres away from each other now, and the tension leaves his neck for the first time that night. “Still watching Game of Thrones?” She flashes her gaze up at him.

“Attempting to.” He chuckles. “It’s getting a bit stupid, and there are too many storylines. I can’t keep up.”

She giggles and teases, “Just because you can’t concentrate on more than one storyline at the same time doesn’t make a show stupid. It makes you stupid.”

A pleasant lull settles, but Hector’s still too wary to let himself relax entirely, given the way things ended last time. She dips her head, and whispers, glancing back up at him, “Hey- do you want to get out of here?”

He freezes and raises a single eyebrow, “But you have a boyf- that guy.” Hector gestures at Jack in the corner.

The way she smirks, and the subtle roll of her eyes, as if she’s diminishing any importance of Jack to her in the slightest, gives Hector the slightest inkling of hope. “That guy doesn’t mean anything to me. He’s nice and all, but the second we take things outside of the bedroom it’s like talking to a brick wall.”

“So- is he your boyfriend or not?”

“He certainly hasn’t stopped me from flirting with you all night, put it that way.” She rests her hand on his forearm lightly, and she cocks her head towards the exit. “And the fact that you have a girlfriend hasn’t stopped you either.”

“What are you implying?”

“What do you think I’m implying?”

She picks up her jacket in the crook of her arms, downs the remainder of her drink before tossing it to the table and grabs her handbag. When she smiles at him this time, it’s different, and it sends his stomach flipping. Her eyes are seductive, captivating, and when she runs her tongue over her top lip, Hector is pretty sure he momentarily forgets how to breathe. She leans down to his ear, and her perfume drifts over towards him, “Let’s get out of here.”

There’s an extra swing in her hips as she walks away.

(And Hector can’t help but follow her.)

ummmm am i dreaming or have i finally actually posted this

i know i’ve said this has been done for literally like months but every time i’ve re read my draft i’ve found things i didn’t like and you guys know how fussy i can be (there are still bits i want to change with this but i thought it’d be better to just bite the bullet and get on with it) i really hope you like this!!! as always please let me know what you think :)

millie xxx