#this scene killed me to cut but i couldn't get it to fit into the pacing of the fic

[astrhae]

hi so i just read your hanahaki fic and it ruined me and like i am actually crying it was so so so good but also i read your deleted scene with jespers pov and that was amazing too!! and i saw that you said that you had another deleted scene and i would love to see that too (and any others that you have) if you wanted to share them?

(also i actually adore the entire vibe of your blog it's so pretty)

hi hello thank you so much *slides tissues over* i'm so glad you liked the fic so much and that you liked the deleted scenes too!! there are... quite a lot of them that i literally made an "appendix" section in my word document 😅 this fic truly was a monster to write because of how many scenes and jumps there were, and while that was a whole lot of fun, i also had to test and remove many, many scenes too keep it manageable. most of the deleted scenes are just dialogue without much prose to them though, because i had a Vibe but then realised the fic was going to be too long --- but here's a deleted scene that i polished up just for you 💙 it's in jesper's POV too because you all really are enabling me to write more of that 💕

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“You kept it,” Jesper stared at Wylan.

Wylan’s gaze skittered away, hands clasped behind his back as they stood there, side by side, at the threshold of the mansion’s storeroom. He looked every bit a mercher, now: all the soft lines Jesper used to tease him about were gone, replaced by a gauntness from the sickness.

It had been a month – a month since the embassy, since Wylan had lied still on the bed, and the Shu Princess’ fiancée had come under the cover of the night. Do it, Jesper had told her to save Wylan’s life.

They’ve gone too far for me to save him, she had warned Jesper. This might not work – he might never feel again, never –

Do it, Jesper had repeated. Wylan had wanted this, had counted his own life worth more than his heart, and Jesper had to agree. Jesper had to be grateful that Grisha didn’t get sick: if Wylan came out of this not being able to love, then at least Wylan came out of this.

Then Jesper would still love him, anyway, whatever happened.

So she had done it, and Jesper had watched as a delirious, barely conscious Wylan had coughed and coughed – Wylan wouldn’t remember it, later, feverish and shivering, from both the sickness and the canal waters, and Jesper had promised, over and over again: I love you, I love you, I love you.

And Wylan, eyes clouded with fever, had tipped his head blindly toward Jesper’s voice, and apologized.

Now – now, a month since, Wylan was still recovering. He showed no signs that he remembered any of it. Jesper had been careful not to linger, unsure if Wylan wanted him, but he had stayed in one of the guest rooms that Marya had forced him into.

They ate meals together, Wylan staring at Jesper silently all the while before he disappeared again into his rooms, closing himself off as Kaz scrambled to keep the business afloat and Jesper tried to keep out of the way. With Nikolai and Zoya pleased that things had gone as smoothly as they could, Jesper wasn’t expected back in Ravka anytime soon, and he stayed in Ketterdam to pick up what pieces he could, trying to at last keep his promises.

Marya showed him the cracks in the house – the places where paint had started peeling, floorboards creaking, the carriage rattling, and Jesper placed his hand over them. He placed his hand, and called on his blessings: an act of prayer, an act of penance. He couldn’t heal the places where Wylan’s ribs had cracked from the roots that had wrapped around them, but he could at least fix the foundations. Could at least strengthen them.

He hadn’t known what to expect when Wylan had called for him earlier today.

He certainly hadn’t expected Wylan to lead him up to the attic, to show him a room full of everything he’d left behind. All the coins he’d turned into lopsided keys sitting in a jar by the far end of the room, the bullet fragments and shrapnel from his failed attempts at distracting himself. The mess of a canvas from when Jesper had tried to paint for Wylan, all those years ago, eighteen and too young to understand the weight of it. The weight of this.

His powers reached out to them all, now, the room a riot of metal and memory and color, all his hats and all the ledgers from his debts –

Wylan had kept it: all the good things, and the bad.

“I wanted to burn them,” Wylan spoke to him for the first time in weeks. “I wanted to burn it all.”

Jesper took a step inside, his feet leaving footsteps in the dust. “I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

“I broke some of them,” Wylan admitted, staying at the threshold, gaze shifting toward the broken glasses to their right, the shredded fabric, the shattered frames. “But I – I didn’t have anything left.”

When Jesper had left – so quickly he’d terrified even himself – he hadn’t had to time to bring much. He had thought it was for the better: a new start, without all his things, all his memories trapping him. He turned around to face Wylan, now, their past in scattered pieces around them.

Jesper didn’t need any of this. He just needed –

“I would have come home,” Jesper promised again, confession turned into sin, into vice, because even now, he still loved Wylan like an addiction. Like benediction. “I would have come home, if you asked.”

“And you would have resented me for it,” Wylan’s smile was a knife. Jesper wasn’t sure if it was a knife meant to cut Jesper, or himself. Did it matter? Either way, they both hurt.

His powers itched, needing to reach out, crawling beneath his skin, clawing at it. Grisha didn’t get sick: their fevers just burnt through bone, through soul – their powers demanding more than they could give. Wylan couldn’t love again. Not after the sickness. That was fine: Jesper would love him enough for the both of them.

“I already did, a little,” Jesper admitted, because hadn’t Wylan wanted him honest? “I resented you, but I missed you more.”

Wylan studied the floor. Eyes fixed at the distance between them.

“You stayed,” Wylan whispered.

“Do you want me to?”

He had stayed in Ravka for himself, but for Wylan too. He would stay here for himself, and for Wylan too. He owed it to them both to see whatever was left between them through: Wylan wasn’t a debt to be repaid, or a broken thing for Jesper to fix. He was a chance that Jesper wouldn’t let himself lose. Not again.

A strangled noise escaped Wylan, so similar to the cough that Jesper flinched at it –

“I want you to stop hurting,” Wylan said, just as he had all those years ago, when push became shove became fall. And then – “I want to stop hurting.”

Jesper stumbled forward, stumbled closer, pulled into orbit – pulled out of it, until distance became touch and his hand reached for Wylan’s – and Wylan’s reached for his, trembling, trembling, trying.

“I want you to be happy,” Jesper took the words, and made them his own. Made them his wish. “I want to be happy, too.”

Because he was selfish, because he was certain. Because he was trying, too.

[tending-the-hearth]

everything i loved about "the little mermaid" live action

Ariel's melody being her siren song!! that little new bit of lore!! i also really liked that it added more depth as to why Ursula wanted her voice in exchange for her becoming human

the way Ariel became almost angry during the bridge of "Part of Your World", she was so frustrated that she couldn't do the things she was dreaming about, like YES let her be mad!!

full body chills during "Part of Your World" + the first reprise

Ariel helping Max onto the boat 😭😭😭

I've mentioned this before, but Ariel hearing Eric's voice before seeing him!!! hearing him sing before seeing him!!! agh!!!!

Eric holding Ariel's hand on the shore after she rescues him 😭

the detail put into each of Ariel's sisters was so stunning, i'm so excited to read more about them in the books! i loved that they each had their own specific vibe

THEY INCLUDED THE FACT THAT URSULA AND TRITON ARE SIBLINGS YES THANK YOU VERY MUCH

"For the First Time" being a voice over, as Ariel's thoughts, and then the scene shifting to complete darkness except for her to represent us being in her head and hearing her thoughts, and the way it gets cut off when she realizes she can't say "hello" to Eric? i cried

The Jodi Benson cameo and her giving Halle!Ariel the fork 😭 literally her passing on the mantel of Ariel 😭😭

Eric and Ariel being total nerds with each other??

The way Ariel "told" Eric her name using the constellations???? and him saying it was written in the stars???? hello????

Also Eric saying "my little mermaid" made me so soft wtf

Eric and Ariel running around and giggling in the castle and being the definition of puppy love like they're so goofy and in love i adore them

the "Part of Your World" reprise after Ariel sees Eric with Vanessa shattered my heart, the MOST heartbreaking song

Grimsby kicking the ring away after it falls near him, my man knew exactly what was going on, he's known Ariel for three days and is already a ride or die

just Ariel and Eric holding each other so tightly after she gets her voice back, and Eric refusing to let her go until Ursula literally has to throw him away

ARIEL BEING THE ONE TO KILL URSULA USING THE SKILLS SHE SAW ERIC USE OH MY GOD IT WORKED SO SO WELL

i like that they added a chunk of time passing between Ursula's death and Eric and Ariel reuniting, it added a little extra drama and emotion when they finally saw each other again!

listen i'm an absolute sucker for a "hug before kiss" reunion and i was SO happy that Eric and Ariel had that, it fit them and their relationship perfectly, the way Eric just clung to her, and Ariel's happy smile as she hugged him back 😭

The mermaid statue and the dress representing the land vs. the sea???? and both returning back to where they're supposed to be but having new meanings????

Ariel's wedding dress being pink to (probably) pay homage to her pink ballgown in the animated movie was such a good touch, and i loved the length!!

Triton and Ariel's goodbye, where he says "you shouldn't have had to give up your voice for me to hear you"???? hello my father issues jumped tf out and had me sobbing in the theater

literally the entire movie was so beautiful, i could talk about it for hours, this is the best live action remake honestly, and Eric and Ariel (specifically the live action version obvi) have moved up to become my favorite Disney Princess/Prince pairing, just behind Belle and Adam (bc let's be honest, nothing can top them)

@queen-with-the-quill bc i know you're seeing it soon! more things i forgot to tell you lol

[lila-lou]

✨His true fate - Part 2/?✨

Summary: Jensen hasn't been happy for years. But it seems almost impossible for him to escape. After another nasty argument between him and his wife, he decides to visit his ´former´ best friend for his birthday. Back in Austin, an encounter awaits him that will turn his life completely upside down.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Language, age gap, tough topics

Word Count: 6162

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

As your eyes fell upon Jensen’s overflowing shopping cart, a playful smirk tugged at the corners of your lips as you raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Big plans, huh?”, you quipped, your tone light and teasing as you gestured towards the assortment of bottles.

Jensen’s throat tightened at the sight of your playful expression, his mind racing with a jumble of thoughts and emotions. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen a girl he found truly attractive, let alone one who seemed to effortlessly break through the walls of his solitude.

Before he could muster a response, Jared returned, his eyes scanning the scene before him with amusement. Taking in the exchange between you and Jensen, a knowing grin spread across his face as he sized you up from toe to head.

Jared's grin widened as he observed the interaction between you and Jensen, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Hey, Jensen, is this your new shopping buddy?", he teased, his tone light as he nudged his friend playfully.

Jensen's cheeks flushed at the remark, his gaze flickering between you and Jared as he struggled to find his voice. He opened his mouth to respond, but the words seemed to catch in his throat, leaving him speechless.

You couldn't help but chuckle at Jensen's flustered state, a playful glint in your eyes as you turned to Jared with a smirk. "I'm not sure about shopping buddies, but I did just crash into him", you admitted with a grin, your tone teasing as you glanced back at Jensen.

Jared raised an eyebrow at the revelation, his grin widening into a knowing smirk. "Ah, so you're the reason he's at a loss for words", he remarked with a laugh, shooting Jensen a knowing look.

Jensen's cheeks grew even redder at the teasing, his embarrassment evident.

Jared chuckled at Jensen's embarrassment. "Looks like having girls crash into him at stores is becoming your new hobby, huh, Jensen?".

Jensen rolled his eyes. "Yeah, lucky me", he muttered under his breath, his cheeks still tinged with embarrassment.

Turning his attention back to you, Jared offered a charming smile as he extended his hand. "I'm Jared", he introduced himself warml. "And this here is Jensen".

You accepted Jared's handshake with a smile, your gaze lingering on Jensen for a moment longer before returning to Jared. "Nice to meet you, Jared", you replied. "And Jensen, despite our collision, it's nice to meet you too".

For a second or two, a brief silence settled over you. Sensing the moment, you broke the silence with a soft chuckle.

"Well, yeah, I better get going before Mr. Jensen here kills you for teasing", you mumbled with a playful grin, shooting Jensen a wink before turning to leave.

But before you could take another step, Jared spoke up, his voice cutting through the air with unexpected sincerity. "Hey, wait a minute", he interjected, his tone earnest as he addressed you directly. "Would you like to come to my birthday party tonight?".

You turned back to face Jared, surprise flickering across your features at the unexpected invitation.

You couldn't help but smile at Jared's sincere invitation, touched by the warmth and inclusivity of his gesture. "Thank you", you replied gratefully, though a hint of hesitation lingered in your voice. "But I guess I won't quite fit in there", you added with a soft chuckle, gesturing subtly to the obvious age gap between yourself and the trio.

Jensen cursed inwardly as he caught your subtle gesture. But before he could dwell on his insecurities about his age, Jared stepped in.

"Don't be silly", Jared insisted, his tone firm as he met your gaze with unwavering sincerity. "Age is just a number, and besides, we throw the best parties", he added with a playful wink.

Jared sensed your hesitation, his brows furrowing slightly as he tried to ease your concerns. "Look, how about you give me your number?", he suggested, his tone gentle yet persuasive. "I'll text you the address, and you just think about it. We're no creeps, I promise. My kids and a shit ton of friends will also be there, and there will be damn good food", he added with a reassuring smile.

You couldn't help but be swayed by Jared's genuine offer of hospitality, his warmth and sincerity shining through his words. With a soft smile, you nodded in agreement. "Alright", you conceded, reaching for your phone to exchange numbers with Jared. "I'll think about it. Thanks for the invite".

Jared grinned, relieved that you had agreed to consider attending the party. "No problem at all", he replied warmly, typing your number into his phone with a sense of anticipation. "Just let me know if you decide to come. It'll be a blast, I promise".

As you walked away, a strange sensation washed over you, prompting you to turn around one more time. Catching Jensen's gaze, you felt a jolt of electricity shoot through you, as if your heart had skipped a beat in that brief moment of connection.

For a split second, time seemed to stand still as you locked eyes with Jensen, the intensity of the moment leaving you breathless. There was something about the way he looked at you, a mixture of vulnerability and longing, that stirred something deep within you.

But before you could dwell on the fleeting moment any longer, you tore your gaze away, a flush rising to your cheeks as you hurried to pay for your purchases and leave. As you made your way out of the store, the memory of Jensen's gaze lingered in your mind, leaving you with a sense of curiosity and intrigue that you couldn't quite shake.

As soon as you were far enough away, Jensen elbowed Jared in the ribs, his expression a mix of confusion and frustration. “What was that about?”, he grumbled, shooting his friend a pointed look.

Jared chuckled knowingly, as he nudged Jensen back. “Oh, come on, Ackles", he teased, a grin spreading across his face. “You know damn well what that was about”.

Jensen grumbled under his breath, frustration evident in his tone. “Why the fuck did you invite her to the party?”, he muttered, his brows furrowing in annoyance.

“Because you were practically drooling over her”, he teased. “I haven’t seen you get that fucking shy around a girl in ages”.

Jensen shot Jared a reproachful look, his cheeks flushing even deeper at the teasing. “I’m fucking married, Jared”, he muttered, his voice tinged with frustration. “It’s not like anything could come of it”.

But Jared just scoffed at Jensen’s protests, rolling his eyes. “Oh, come on, Jensen”, he retorted.

Jared's grin softened into a more serious expression as he placed a hand on Jensen's shoulder. "I know, man", he said sympathetically, his voice gentle. "But let's be real here. Your marriage is fucking terrible anyway. You deserve to have a little fun".

Jensen let out a frustrated sigh. "Yeah, but what am I supposed to do?", he muttered bitterly. "Just stare at that girl all night long, not allowed to make a damn move? Even though my marriage is hell on earth, I can't just… hit on someone".

Jared nodded understandingly, his gaze filled with empathy. "I get it, Jensen", he said. "But maybe tonight can be a chance for you to just let loose, forget about all the bullshit for a while. Who knows? Maybe it'll be the push you need to start making some changes in your life".

Jensen let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping with resignation as he mulled over Jared's words. "I don't think she'll come anyway", he muttered under his breath, his voice tinged with disappointment. "And even if she does, she seemed way too young and not interested in… older guys".

Jared frowned at Jensen's pessimistic attitude, shaking his head in disagreement. "You never know, man", he replied optimistically, trying to lift his friend's spirits. "Stranger things have happened. And who knows? Maybe you can lull her with your… beautiful green eyes". Towards the end of his sentence, Jared raised his voice, imitating a girl.

"Ugh, fuck off", Jensen grumbled, but couldn't help but smile a little.

Jared gave Jensen's shoulder a reassuring pat, offering him a supportive smile. "Come on, let's head home", he said, his tone upbeat as he tried to lighten the mood. "We've got enough alcohol for three parties".

Jensen managed a small chuckle at Jared's remark.

As the evening descended, you found yourself sitting alone in your living room, the soft glow of your phone illuminating the dimly lit space. Your gaze lingered on the message from one of the guys you had met earlier, the address for Jared's birthday party displayed prominently on the screen.

You realized that the party wasn't far from where you lived, a convenient coincidence that made the decision to attend that much easier. It had been a few weeks since you had moved to Austin, and in that time, you had found yourself spending most of your days alone, longing for connection and friends in this new city.

With a sense of anticipation, you contemplated the prospect of attending the party. It wasn't often that you had the opportunity to socialize and meet new people, and the thought of spending the evening surrounded by friendly faces and lively conversation filled you with a renewed sense of excitement.

With a decisive nod, you made up your mind. Tonight, you would step out of your comfort zone and embrace the opportunity for connection.

Just as you were about to text Jared to confirm your attendance, a notification popped up on your phone. Opening the message, you were greeted with a photo of a table overflowing with an impressive array of drinks.

You couldn't help but smile at Jared's gesture, touched by his effort to entice you to join the party.

You quickly typed out a response to Jared. As you hit send, a sense of anticipation washed over you.

As Jensen stepped out of the shower and stood before the mirror, a wave of weariness washed over him. Running a hand through his damp hair, he studied his reflection with a critical eye, the sight of his tired, weathered face staring back at him a stark reminder of the toll that his lifestyle and the stress of his marriage had taken on him.

With a heavy sigh, he reached for his razor, the sharp blade gliding over his skin as he began to trim his beard. Jensen couldn't help but reflect on how much he had changed over the years.

Gone was the youthful vitality and carefree spirit of his younger days, replaced now by lines etched deep into his skin and a weariness that seemed to weigh heavily on his shoulders. The weight of his responsibilities and the burden of his troubled marriage had left their mark, leaving Jensen feeling older and more exhausted than he had ever imagined.

As the first guests began to arrive, laughter and chatter filled the air, the lively atmosphere of celebration setting the tone for the evening ahead. Amidst the crowd, Cliff approached Jared, a beer in hand, a curious expression on his face.

"Hey", Cliff greeted, a grin spreading across his face. "Is it true that Jensen's here?", he asked, his tone laced with disbelief. "I can't believe it. It's been ages since we've seen him outside of conventions".

Jared chuckled, nodding in confirmation as he exchanged a knowing glance with Cliff. "Believe it or not, he's here", he replied with a grin. "Apparently, he needed a break".

Cliff raised an eyebrow in surprise, a hint of skepticism in his expression. "Well, I'll be damned", he exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief. "Never thought I'd see the day. Can't wait to catch up with him".

As more guests arrived, Jared found himself busy greeting everyone and ensuring everyone felt welcome. Meanwhile, Jensen emerged from the house, his presence drawing the attention of those around him. Instantly, Cliff spotted him and made his way over, a warm smile on his face.

"Jensen!", Cliff exclaimed, his voice filled with genuine pleasure at seeing his old friend. "It's been too long, man. How've you been?".

Jensen returned Cliff's smile, a sense of warmth spreading through him at the sight of a familiar face. "Hey", he greeted warmly, extending a hand to shake. "I've been hanging in there. Good to see you".

As they exchanged pleasantries, Jensen couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for the opportunity to reconnect with old friends.

As the first hour of the party passed, Jensen couldn't shake the feeling of restlessness that had settled over him. He found himself tapping his foot nervously as he sipped his beer, scanning the crowd in search of a familiar face. Your face. But amidst the sea of people, he still couldn't spot you.

Just when he was beginning to resign himself to the idea that you might not show up, he caught sight of movement in the garden. His breath hitched as he watched you step into view, a shy and hesitant figure in a breathtaking summer dress.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still as Jensen took in the sight of you, the soft glow of the evening sun casting a radiant halo around you. He couldn't tear his gaze away as you glanced around nervously, a hint of uncertainty in your eyes.

As you caught sight of Jensen, a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips, a wave of relief washing over you at the sight of a familiar face amidst the crowd. With a tentative step forward, you made your way towards him.

Jensen's heart raced as you drew nearer, his pulse quickening with each step you took.

As you approached, Jensen could feel his heart pounding in his chest, the sound echoing in his ears like a drumbeat of anticipation. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves as he muttered to himself, "You got this, Jensen".

He knew he was a good-looking guy, that much was certain. He had always been aware of the effect he had on most women he met, but this time felt different. You were different. There was something about you that stirred a sense of nervousness and insecurity within him, a vulnerability he rarely allowed himself to feel.

Despite his confidence in his appearance, Jensen couldn't shake the nagging doubt that gnawed at him from within. He found himself second-guessing every move, every word, as he struggled to navigate the unfamiliar territory of his emotions.

He straightened his posture, mustering all the charm and charisma he possessed as he prepared to greet you.

As you finally reached Jensen, a soft smile graced your lips as you mustered him for a few seconds, your gaze lingering on him with a hint of curiosity and warmth. Then, with a subtle gesture, you held up one of the whiskey bottles you had bought earlier, a playful glint in your eyes as you asked, "So, where's the birthday kid?".

Jensen felt a surge of relief wash over him at your friendly greeting, the warmth of your smile melting away his nerves. He couldn't help but admire the easy confidence and grace with which you carried yourself, a stark contrast to his own inner turmoil.

"Hey", he replied, returning your smile with one of his own, his voice tinged with genuine warmth. "Jared's probably somewhere around here, making sure everyone's having a good time. But knowing him, he won't be far from the food".

As he spoke, Jensen's gaze lingered on you, a sense of admiration and intrigue stirring within him. Despite his initial apprehension, being in your presence felt surprisingly natural, as if you had known each other for far longer than just a few moments.

With a sense of anticipation, Jensen gestured towards the crowd, inviting you to join him in the search for Jared. You fell into step beside him.

As you began to search for Jared, Jensen felt a sense of urgency to break the silence and initiate a conversation. He cleared his throat awkwardly, his mind racing as he tried to think of something to say.

“So, uh, did you have any trouble finding the place?”, Jensen asked, his voice slightly strained as he attempted to break the ice. He cursed inwardly at his own clumsiness, hoping that his attempt at small talk didn’t come across as too forced.

He stole a glance at you, his heart pounding in his chest as he awaited your response. He couldn’t help but feel a sense of nervousness and uncertainty, unsure of what to expect from the evening or from you. But one thing was certain: he wanted to make a good impression, to show you the best version of himself in the hopes that you would like him.

You couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement mingled with apprehension as you stole a glance at Jensen.

You masked your own nervousness with an easy smile, offering a casual shrug in response to his question. "Nah, not really", you replied, your voice steady despite the flutter of butterflies in your stomach. "The address was pretty easy to find. Plus, I've been exploring the neighborhood lately, so I'm starting to get the hang of things".

As you spoke, you couldn't help but notice the subtle scent of Jensen's cologne, a tantalizing mix of musk and spice that sent a shiver down your spine. You fought to maintain your composure, not wanting to betray the effect he had on you with just his presence alone.

But deep down, you couldn't deny the undeniable attraction that pulsed between you, the magnetic pull drawing you closer with each step. And as you continued to navigate the crowded garden in search of Jared, you couldn't shake the feeling of anticipation that filled you.

As Jensen and you spotted Jared next to Gen, who was starting the grill, a small smile tugged at your lips. Gen raised an eyebrow at Jensen and you, a curious expression flitting across her features. Not recognizing you, she leaned in to Jared and murmured, "Who's Jensen's company?".

Jared glanced over at you and Jensen, a knowing grin spreading across his face. "Oh, that's (Y/N)", he replied simply, his voice laced with amusement.

Gen glanced back at you and Jensen.

As you and Jensen reached them, Gen smiled at you. "Welcome to the party, (Y/N). Nice to meet you. I´m Gen, Jared´s wife".

You returned Gen's smile with a friendly nod, feeling a sense of warmth and acceptance wash over you in her presence.

Gen's curiosity piqued. "So, how do you know Jensen?", she inquired, her tone casual but curious.

Before you could respond, Jared chimed in, a mischievous twinkle in his eye as he launched into the story of how he and Jensen had run into you earlier that day. Gen listened intently, her brow furrowing slightly as she eyed Jensen suspiciously.

As Jared recounted the chance encounter, Gen's expression shifted from curiosity to mild skepticism. She shot Jensen a playful yet probing look, as if trying to decipher the truth behind Jared's tale.

Jensen shifted uncomfortably under Gen's scrutiny, his cheeks flushing slightly as he offered a sheepish shrug. "It was just a coincidence, really", he interjected, his tone slightly defensive.

But despite his attempt to downplay the encounter, Gen's suspicion lingered, her gaze lingering on Jensen.

As Gen observed Jensen’s interaction with you, a sense of unease crept over her. She wasn’t aware of the extent of Jensen’s marital troubles, but seeing him with a young and unfamiliar woman stirred a twinge of discomfort within her.

Despite her lack of knowledge about Jensen’s personal life, Gen couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. The sight of him engaged in conversation with you, coupled with Jared’s teasing story, left her with a sense of unease that she couldn’t quite articulate.

As the unease settled over Gen, you approached Jared and handed him the bottle of whiskey with a grateful smile. "Here you go, Jared. Thanks for inviting me and… Happy birthday", you said, your voice sincere as you expressed your appreciation for being included in the festivities.

Jared returned your smile with a warm nod of acknowledgment, his eyes reflecting a genuine sense of hospitality. "Thank you! We're glad to have you here", he replied, his tone friendly.

As you exchanged pleasantries with Jared, you couldn't help but notice the tension in the air, the unspoken discomfort that seemed to linger beneath the surface. You couldn't quite pinpoint the source of the unease, but you sensed that something was amiss.

Nevertheless, you pushed aside your own concerns and focused on enjoying the evening.

As the conversation continued, Jared turned to Jensen with a request. "Hey, Jensen, do you mind getting the meat out of the kitchen?", he asked, his tone casual but expectant.

Jensen glanced at you, a flicker of relief crossing his features at the opportunity to escape Gen's intense gaze. "Sure, I can do that", he replied, his voice tinged with gratitude.

You sensed Jensen's discomfort and offered to help, eager to lend a hand and alleviate some of the tension in the air. "I can help too", you chimed in, your tone light and friendly.

Jared smiled gratefully at your offer. "That would be great, thanks", he said, nodding appreciatively. "It's just through here", he added, gesturing towards the kitchen.

As you followed Jensen into the kitchen, your gaze wandered around the spacious room, taking in the impressive size of the house. The sleek countertops and gleaming appliances spoke of luxury and comfort.

But your attention was soon drawn back to Jensen as he moved with purpose, his broad frame filling the space with a quiet strength. You couldn't help but admire the way his muscles shifted beneath his shirt, the subtle flex of his triceps as he reached out to open the door.

Unbeknownst to you, a small gesture betrayed your admiration as you bit your lip, a fleeting moment of appreciation for the sight before you. Jensen's presence exuded a quiet confidence and a sense of stability that drew you in, his rugged charm leaving a lingering impression on your mind.

As Jensen rummaged through the cabinets, searching for the meat plates, you couldn't help but admire the elegance of the kitchen. "Wow, this place is amazing", you remarked, your voice soft with awe as you took in the sleek design.

Jensen paused for a moment, his fingers stilling as he glanced over at you. Despite the task at hand, he couldn't help but be captivated by the sincerity in your voice and the genuine appreciation reflected in your eyes. Your admiration for the house was clear, but Jensen couldn't shake the feeling that your presence added an extra layer of beauty to the space.

"Yeah, it's not too shabby", Jensen replied, his tone casual as he returned to his search. But inwardly, he couldn't deny the way your soft voice sent a shiver down his spine, a quiet reminder of the unexpected effect you had on him.

As Jensen found the plates, you reached out to grab one, your hand accidentally brushing against his in the process. A jolt of electricity seemed to shoot through both of you at the brief contact, your heart skipping a beat as you quickly withdrew your hand.

"Oh, sorry about that", you said quickly, your tone light as you attempted to overplay the moment. "Didn't mean to invade your personal space there".

Jensen's heart raced in his chest, his senses heightened by the unexpected touch. He swallowed hard, willing himself to regain his composure as he forced a casual smile. "No worries", he replied, his voice slightly strained.

Despite your attempt to brush off the moment, the lingering sensation of your touch lingered in the air between you, a silent reminder of the unspoken connection that had sparked to life in that brief instant.

As you continued to help Jensen with the task in the kitchen, you couldn't shake the inexplicable tension that hung in the air between the two of you. It felt as though a silent electricity crackled between you, each moment fraught with a quiet intensity that left you feeling unsettled and off-balance.

You couldn't quite explain the flutter of excitement that danced in your stomach or the way your heart raced at the slightest glance from Jensen. It was as if you were a teenage girl all over again, navigating the confusing waters of newfound attraction with all the awkwardness and uncertainty that came with it.

And yet, despite the undeniable chemistry that simmered between you, you couldn't ignore the nagging doubts that tugged at the edges of your mind. You weren't typically drawn to older guys, and the fact that you found yourself inexplicably drawn to Jensen only added to your confusion.

You couldn't help but wonder what was happening between you and Jensen. Was it just a fleeting moment of attraction, or was there something deeper at play? Whatever the case, one thing was certain: the tension that pulsed between you was impossible to ignore, leaving you grappling with a whirlwind of emotions and uncertainty.

As you and Jensen walked back outside, you handed the plates to Jared, who greeted you both with a smile of gratitude. "Thanks for helping out, you two", he said, accepting the plates.

Jared's eyes twinkled with mischief as he turned to Jensen. "Hey, Jensen, why don't you show (Y/N) around? I'm sure she'd love to see all the animals we have here", he suggested, a subtle hint in his tone.

Jensen glanced at Jared, a knowing look passing between them as he recognized Jared's attempt to nudge him towards spending more time with you. He offered a slight nod of acknowledgment before turning to you. "Yeah, sounds like a good idea", he said.

You smiled , feeling a sense of gratitude towards Jared for orchestrating the opportunity for you to spend more time with Jensen. "I'd love that", you replied, your tone sincere as you met Jensen's gaze. "Lead the way".

As you walked lazily alongside Jensen, he pushed his hands into his jeans pockets, his gaze drifting thoughtfully across the sprawling landscape. Sensing the quiet lull in the conversation, he turned to you with a curious expression.

"So, were you born here in Austin?", he asked, his voice soft with genuine interest.

A small smile playing at the corners of your lips. "Yeah", you replied, your tone thoughtful. "I was born here, but I grew up all over Europe. My dad's job required him to move around quite a bit, so we lived in different cities across Europe".

Jensen listened intently as you spoke, nodding in understanding as you shared a glimpse into your past. "That sounds like quite the adventure", he remarked, a hint of admiration in his voice.

You nodded in agreement, a nostalgic twinkle in your eyes. "It was definitely an experience", you admitted. "But a few weeks ago, I decided to take a year break and move back here after getting my bachelor's degree".

"So, how did you end up in Austin?", you asked.

"I was actually born and raised in Dallas", he began, his voice tinged with memories of his childhood. "I spent a few years living in California for work before eventually moving to Austin". Jensen paused. "But right now, I'm just here to visit Jared. A few months ago, I actually moved to Connecticut".

As Jensen spoke about his move to Connecticut, you couldn't help but notice that his smile didn't quite reach his eyes, a subtle hint of tension underlying his words. Sensing his hesitation, you couldn't help but feel a pang of curiosity, prompting you to gently press for more details.

"Connecticut… sounds like quite the change", you remarked, your tone gentle as you sought to delve deeper into Jensen's experience. "Do you like living on the East Coast?".

Jensen hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering away as he searched for the right words. "Yeah, it's… different", he replied vaguely, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

But despite his attempt to deflect, you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to Jensen's story than he was letting on. Sensing his discomfort, you resisted the urge to push further, instead offering him a reassuring smile.

"Well, change can be challenging, but it can also bring new opportunities and experiences", you offered, hoping to ease the tension that lingered between you. "I'm sure you'll find your rhythm there in no time".

Jensen nodded in response, a faint smile gracing his lips as he met your gaze. But behind the facade, you could sense the weight of unspoken words, the burden of secrets that he carried with him.

Despite the lingering tension between you and Jensen, you couldn’t resist the urge to lighten the mood with a playful question. With a mischievous grin, you sidled up to him and shot him a sidelong glance.

“So, how old are you, anyway?”, you asked, your tone light and teasing as you awaited his response.

Jensen chuckled softly, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes as he met your gaze. “Oh, come on now”, he replied.

You laughed at his response, the sound light and carefree as you leaned in closer. "Don't worry", you teased. "You won't scare me off that easily. At least not for now".

Jensen's playful facade softened, a hint of vulnerability flickering in his eyes as he murmured quietly, "I'm 46".

You couldn't help but stop in your tracks, your eyes widening in disbelief as Jensen's words sank in. "No freaking way", you exclaimed, your voice echoing your astonishment.

Jensen stopped too, a hint of embarrassment coloring his cheeks as he nodded in confirmation. "Yeah", he replied, a wry chuckle escaping his lips.

You shook your head in amazement. "You've gotta be kidding me", you exclaimed, a mixture of awe and disbelief coloring your tone.

But as you looked into Jensen's eyes, you could see the truth reflected there, the weight of his years and experiences etched into the lines of his face.

Jensen chuckled softly, a self-deprecating smile playing on his lips. "I wish I was kidding", he admitted. "But unfortunately, the years just keep on ticking".

"Well, I gotta say, you're aging pretty gracefully", you remarked, offering him a playful wink.

"Well, thanks", he replied, his voice warm with gratitude. "But I think a lot of it has to do with good genes and a healthy dose of denial".

You chuckled softly, the tension between you dissipating as you started walking again. But as Jensen's gaze lingered on you, a curious expression flickering across his features, you sensed that the conversation wasn't over yet.

"So, what about you?", Jensen asked, his tone casual but his eyes betraying a hint of curiosity. "How old are you?".

You bit your lip nervously. "I'm 26".

Jensen's expression softened at your words, a mixture of understanding and resignation clouding his features. He closed his eyes briefly, a silent acknowledgment of the vast age gap that separated you.

"I see", he murmured quietly. Despite knowing it already, hearing the confirmation of your age still struck a chord within him, a reminder of the distance that lay between you. Jensen rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, a sheepish smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he mumbled, "I could practically be your dad".

You offered him a sympathetic smile, a gentle understanding shining in your eyes as you replied, "Yeah, you could".

As you walked alongside Jensen, a wave of conflicting emotions washed over you. Despite the acknowledgment of the significant age gap between you, you couldn't deny the subtle allure that lingered in the air, a magnetic pull that seemed to draw you closer to him with each passing moment.

You found yourself trying to suppress the flutter of excitement that danced in your chest, surprised by the unexpected turn of your thoughts. The realization that the age gap was somewhat enticing both intrigued and unsettled you, stirring a sense of uncertainty within.

But as you stole a glance at Jensen, the lines of his face softened by the golden glow of the setting sun, you couldn't help but feel a surge of attraction that tugged at your heartstrings.

As you and Jensen settled into a quiet corner near Jared's alpacas, a palpable tension lingered in the air between you. You couldn't shake the nervous energy that seemed to crackle between you, unsure of its origin or how to ease it.

Jensen shifted slightly beside you, his presence both comforting and unsettling as you tried to find the right words to break the silence. "So, uh, those alpacas are cute", you ventured, your voice slightly shaky as you gestured towards the grazing animals.

Jensen nodded in agreement, a faint smile playing on his lips as he glanced over at the furry creatures. "Yeah, they are. Even if they stink", he replied.

Jensen rubbed his bearded chin thoughtfully, his gaze drifting over to you as he sought to break the tension with casual conversation. "So, how are you liking Austin so far?", he asked, his tone gentle as he met your gaze.

You shifted slightly, feeling a rush of relief at the opportunity to engage in conversation. "It's nice", you replied with a small smile. "The weather's great, and there's always something to do. But… it's been a bit hard to find friends, you know?".

Jensen nodded sympathetically, understanding the struggle of trying to find your place in a new city. "Yeah, I get that", he said, his voice tinged with empathy. "It can take some time to find your groove, but I'm sure you'll find your people eventually".

As you exchanged stories and shared experiences, the buzzing feeling in the air began to subside. The conversation flowed effortlessly between you and Jensen. You found yourself opening up in ways you hadn't expected. Talking to him felt easy, natural, as if you had known each other for years rather than just a few hours. And judging by the way Jensen engaged with you, he felt the same.

You discussed a myriad of topics, from your taste in music to your favorite alcoholic beverages, from your favorite animals to your travel aspirations. There was no subject too mundane or too deep, and with each passing moment, you found yourself growing more and more comfortable in Jensen's presence.

Despite the differences in your backgrounds and experiences, you discovered common ground that brought you closer together. Whether it was sharing a love for a certain band or commiserating over the state of politics, you found solace in the connection you shared with Jensen.

As the evening wore on and the conversation with Jensen continued to flow, you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief that he hadn't broached the topic of your relationship status. The thought of discussing your current boyfriend filled you with a sense of unease, knowing that it could potentially dampen the easy rapport you had developed with Jensen.

Deep down, you knew that your relationship with your boyfriend wasn't bringing you the happiness or fulfillment you desired. But the fear of scaring Jensen away with such a revelation kept you from speaking up.

Instead, you focused on the present moment, relishing in the connection you shared with Jensen.

Five minutes to midnight, and yet it felt as though mere moments had slipped away in the midst of your conversation. Lost in each other's company, you had lost track of time, the world around you fading into the background as you delved deeper into conversation.

With a smile, you rose from your seat beside Jensen, to join the others in raising a glass to Jared's birthday.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰

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Part 3

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Taglist: @cheynovak @chriszgirl92 @jenniferr0323 @angelbabyyy99 @cevansbaby-dove @muhahaha303 @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @n-o-p-e-never @mayafatimakhan @ladysparkles78 @viviandarkbloom06 @jassackles @evasmlp @acklesaddict67 @mostlymarvelgirl @emma1998sblog @mishaesque @headinthemoon87

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

Finally watched Caped Crusader and I have ✨thoughts✨.

Oswalda is straight up iconic. Loved every scene with her. I actually laughed out loud when the dude goes "Thorne got you to kill the wrong son?" and she responds "Not that!" I'd let her lock me in a suitcase and throw me in the sea. She gets a gold star ⭐

I like that we get to see Selina's origin. I like the classic suit. That's kinda it though. A bit sad that Bruce didn't feel any connection with her. Just not a huge fan of her character here. She doesn't feel like Selina (a problem most of this show faces tbh).

I was loving the Harley stuff. The bit with Renee was so cute, and I love that she really was passionate about helping Bruce move past his trauma. I really like that she's Barbara's friend. Was really upset at the fakeout death but at least she was just joshin. The villain stuff felt like fetishes which like okay. I guess Bruce needed to put in something to replace BruceBabs. Anyway, that's the final dig towards him. As much as this Harley episode wasn't my favorite, a promise is a promise. Although I do gotta ask, WHY CAN'T RENEE CATCH A BREAK IN HER LOVE LIFE >:(((

No fucking way the moral of episode 7 was "the system is totally not screwed, it's just a few bad apples and also a criminal is a criminal and should be jailed". Barbara literally says the system sucks cause the cops can do what they want and get in anyone's pockets and then nearly gets killed by a cop and then they end it with "actually, I think you do"?! I mean yeah that specific guy deserved prison but ending it on that note of Barbara feeling betrayed and confused on her morals tells a very not-so-delightful message. Glad the show backtracks on all that immediately but it's still weird and definitely could've used some revising to fit in with the rest.

Onomatopeia was awesome though. I remember people claiming his shtick couldn't work when he appeared in Superman and Lois. They said that it only worked in comics and would be too silly out loud. Happy to report that they're wrong.

I feel like I'm the only one who was excited to see Waylon but that's okay cause I got enough excitement for everyone. Love to see my mans kicking the shit out of potential perverts. You go, Waylon!

Dick, Jason, Steph, and Carrie. Definitely an interesting combination. But it's also so nice to see a Jason who grew up in a different environment and is therefore adorable with no rage in his heart. As opposed to Carrie who was ready to kick some ass. The ending to episode 8 really understood Batman, what with him saying he can't leave her there, carrying her and shielding her under the cape, and then asking about her later.

The Harvey bit is kinda cool but 1, I've always been iffy on the shotty DID stuff and 2, I think they coulda gone further. Just watch The Long Halloween for a better Two Face plot.

I like Harvey helping that guy get his stuffed animal back. That was a nice small character moment. If we had more stuff like that and Bruce being unable to confess his emotions to Alfred, I think this whole thing would be better. This one made up for episode 7's little message by having Barbara tell Harvey that it's not so cut and dry and that he deserves help too. I'm glad they went back to that after the whole "sometimes things are black and white" bit. Batman is about helping people just as much as Superman is and I feel like sending a message that "nope, bad is bad and he should just punch people" doesn't fit the entire thesis of Batman.

This finale really encapsulates how this show doesn't quite understand the character of Batman. It may be comic-accurate for him to be an asshole and put on the voice randomly, treat Alfred like crap, and randomly break character with stuff like "don't start growing a conscience now, Dent" but as I said it goes against the whole thesis. This is more along the lines of the Nolan films with the "Bruce Wayne is the mask" bit. And we all know how I feel about those films.

And then it ends on a boring cliffhanger with the boss guy and then a shitty Joker teaser. Boo.

In short, this show is good but it's not anything special. I do really like the classic Batman aesthetic, but that's pretty much it. It doesn't really understand the characters like MAWS and WFA, the overarching plot is kind of uninteresting and it doesn't feel like we're building up to something great. I feel like this show really wanted to use the episodic style to take a look at all these different elements of Gotham's world with references to existing characters and aspects. But whereas MAWS smoothly slid those into its narrative and setting, this just kinda feels like a villain of the week show instead of working towards this grand narrative. And that can be a good thing, I mean I'm a Scooby Doo fan for crying out loud, but in this scenario, it just doesn't work that exceptionally. If it gets a season 2, I'll probably watch it. But this isn't something I'd be excitedly waiting to see new episodes of.

[youredreamingofroo]

On Repeat

// Click for HQ

Whew,,, I finally finished these! Thank you @elderwisp / @elksun / @living-undead / @dejasenti99 AND @yukikocloud FOR THE TAGS!!!! Holy wow :0

Tagging :

@circusjuney / @butteredfrogs / @mmonetsims / @flovoid

@birdietrait / @venriliz / @retrotrait / @mattodore

plus anyone else who wants to do this! Also feel free to ignore esp if you've alr done this, idk who has and hasn't im sorry 😭😭

// Extras under the cut - below is very long, so open w/ caution if you don't wanna scroll a lot 😭

This has taken the piss outta me (albeit fun), so i'm kinda just gonna explain how I think the featured line in particular is akin to the OC/Ship and not the entire song... as much as I'd love to 😭 Also it's just SUPER hard (for me) to find songs that I relate to my OCs, lyrics as well so skdjhnsjk

Roo's Song Oil & Water by Origami Button "When did I become like the ones I never thought I'd welcome in my home"

The above line in particular is quite literally Roo in the current story/character arc- He's looking at himself from a third person view and going "Oh. I am what I hate." He's looking at his old self, in college, and how he treated Leo, to now, looking at his present self and seeing the way he creeps on Leo, how he clings to him despite being several states over. Roo looks at the progression of his stalker-ish behavior, his obsession, how it went from just general clinginess that Leo could bear, to something completely unbearable after 7 years of no contact, it saddens him. So taking it quite literally, if he was at his own door and he knew how awful he was, he would slam the door on himself. A painful self reflection for him :')

Leo's Song Truth or Dare by Ricky Montgomery "Hiding in the closet, trying not to vomit, didn't even want it"

The entire first verse for this song can be applicable to Leo. As a teenager (15-16), Leo went HEAVY on drugs as a form of escapism from his parents, of course they'd always find him and get on his ass HARD for doing that shit. After a while of being sober, Leo started going to house parties, great idea- Flash forward to his third house party, and he finally cut his year long sober streak for drugs. as many as he could fit in his body. He had terrible influences around him so they encouraged him to do this shit, it didn't take long for his body to feel the god awful effects of taking so many drugs, so he ended up in the bathroom for a while- He tried to hold back the vomit because he was,,, partially enjoying his high, but he couldn't hold it back for long and ended up passing out, but not before nearly gutting himself from vomiting so much. Cut forward in time, and people got worried, bashed open the bathroom door and found Leo's unconscious body slumped over the toilet 🙃 Obv he came out fine, but it's a major moment in his life, because looking back on it, he realizes that wasn't what he wanted, he just wanted attention, he wanted to be cool, he wanted to be rebellious, but he didn't want to (nearly) kill himself. The render isn't one-to-one with the situation, but the lyrics are accurate so :3

Onia's Song Bloodstream by Soccer Mommy Scene used in render "Now a river runs red from my knuckles into the sink and there's a pale girl staring through the mirror at me"

Overall, the song talks about how the artist (Soccer Mommy) has lost her childhood innocence and how she wants to go back to her childhood and putting Onia's Sheep in Wolf's clothing motif aside, Onia misses being a child, and misses not knowing the pain and burden of being the complete opposite of what her parents wanted, so she spirals over this a lot, and like the lyrics say, "a river runs red from my knuckles into the sink," She tends to lean towards harming herself, in this case, her hands, and her knuckles- I can't draw or simulate blood in either blender or GIMP, so the red light is supposed to simulate the blood-sodden sink that she's standing over, and of course, "pale girl," is Onia, she's staring at herself, but additionally I like to think she's staring past the mirror, or staring through it (wink wink), she's spacing out and thinking about who she should've been, or who she could've been.

Hero's Song Following Eyes by Soccer Mommy "An awful feeling started creeping over me and what I saw was like no horror I had seen"

I'm keeping this short and sweet. It's not easy to find a song (that I like) that's about being haunted or cursed so. I had to re-use her song from her intro post, which isn't bad, but I did hope to find a new song kdsjhnsjk Anyways. Hero's cursed, pretty much anywhere she goes, she is forced to perceive ~the horrors~, sometimes she's forced into a blank space, a void (SOMETIMES,,, not a lot,,, rarely moreso), where she'll be tormented for who even knows how long, this moment in particular, she was walking along this catwalk in the dark, she eventually felt something that felt similar to someone dragging their fingers up your spine, in a moment of fear, she turned around and just. saw. She looked onto this,,, being, what she saw was "like no horror I had seen,,," Although to be fair, the creature isn't all that horrifying (which in my defense.. I'm a blender novice so </333)

The Hiraeth Song Nomu by Good Kid "Four eyes entwined draw four separate lines and none of them point to you"

I think this song overall is a perfect example of Roo and Leo's relationship both after Leo's confession and after Roo tried to reconnect with Leo. After Leo confessed, he tried to keep their relationship going, but it didn't work out, so he gave up (Roo didn't realize Leo was pulling such a weight and he just let their friendship fall out) After Roo tried to reconnect (aka the CURRENT storyline), Roo has been trying to keep things together and has been trying to make things work, but Leo has long-since given up on their friendship as a whole. Now in terms of the lyric above; Post-Confession, every conversation they had together would not be the same, they couldn't look each other in the eyes, their eyes would connect momentarily and separate almost immediately; Nowadays, if they WERE to be living together or near each other, they just would NOT be able to talk to each other, because Leo would be fed up with Roo and trying to avoid as much eye contact and general verbal+physical contact as possible with him. Roo, on the other hand, is just terrible with eye contact so he would have a terrible time trying to engage in eye contact with Leo.

The Ithanel / It's All Wrong Song From Eden by Hozier "Babe there's something broken about this but I might be hoping about this oh what a sin"

Ithuriel and Nanel's entire relationship is inherently toxic, they are not toxic to each other, but the underlying (or moreso, the OVERWHELMING OVERLYING) dangers of this relationship makes it toxic, broken in a way. Nanel risks her life going to see Ithuriel outside of work-related interactions and Ithuriel risks her life by just. seeing, talking to and loving Nanel. Whether they know (they do) or care (they dont) about these dangers, they still want this relationship, they live on, literal, prayers that they are not caught and that they can continue to love each other in peace, but overall, their relationship, in the eyes of the heavenly council (ehhh W.I.P term for IAW lore stuff), is a sin, and nothing but a sin.

Ithuriel's Song What You Mean by Rome Hero Foxes "Cause every little god damn thing you do makes me wanna get close to you"

The lyrics speak for themselves... Ithuriel is very dedicated to Nanel, and literally every waking moment of seeing and knowing Nanel drives Ithuriel up the walls because she loves her so much.

Nanel's Song Future Me Hates Me by The Beths "It's getting dangerous, I could get hurt, I know, I've counted up the cons, they far outweight the pros."

This is semi-foreshadowing, but Nanel knows that her and Ithuriel's relationship is forbidden, wrong (not cuz its gay necessarily,, 😭), and the way Ithuriel's heavenly role works means that their relationship status and every interaction outside of a required interaction is a risky game of one or both of them being punished and sentenced to death. But ! Nanel loves Ithuriel wayyyy too much to let how insanely dangerous their relationship is to get in the way of them loving and being with e/o.

Nirvana's Song 1999 by Beabadoobee "And I'm not wasting time again, closure instead of s^x, and I'm not wasting time again" Idk if I need to censor s^x but i am justttt in case...

Oof, Nirvana... Nirvana has always been sxually active, she's always had one-night-stands with other men, she's tried to continue things after that ONS, but it never works, she's tried to have relationships with women, but they just use her for s^x. She's tired of wasting time with people who just want her for her body, she's tired of s^x, she just wants, well, closure, she wants someone who will love her for her, she wants a relationship without s^x, or at least isn't s^x-focused, she just wants to know someone will love her past her body. Although aforementioned is all just a habit so she will unfortunately end up right back where she started and continue this uncomfortable and sad spiral.

[cyndraws]

Kaishin secret santa 2023

This is a Kaishin roleswap au for @blueamphibians! I hope you enjoy this art + my ramblings on the au underneath. Because of course, I couldn't just leave it as one piece of art haha (ehem please buckle in for preparation)

Many thanks to @dcmkkaishinevents / Mack for hosting this event, it was super fun participating and interacting with the community <3 <3 As a side note, I would absolutely recommend it to others who are considering signing up next year. Everyone is very friendly!

(Hey Blue, I had more art planned but unfortunately many things came up. But I hope you enjoy this anyways! I might draw some more for you later ^-^ Thanks so much for this prompt <3 <3)

Edit: I have decided that now you will receive a completed arts + ramblings + some WIPs behind the scene hahahaha https://www.tumblr.com/cyndraws/737208478471487488/kaishin-secret-santa-2023-extras-basically-wips?source=share

AU ramblings under the cut (ngl it's a lot):

Random details and notes that don't really fit anywhere. Mostly about the fanart:

Kaito is 1 year older than Shin and is taller than him

This scene is set over the Haido City hotel. In the distance you can see Shiriyomi Trust Hotel (can't full recognise it behind Kaito but I assure you I drew it lol), Tokyo tower (easy to spot) and Roppongi Hills Mori Tower (Just behind Shin on the right, the one with the lights in a --u-- shape) Main reference: https://www.detectiveconanworld.com/wiki/Haido_City_Hotel

I was also screaming at the Kaishin pic in ED70 throughout this LMAO.

Kaito breaks through Shinichi's mysterious KID persona in this drawing and Shinichi shyly reveals his face behind the mask. Kaito then produces a blue flower, claiming it matches Shinichi's beautiful eyes (he's also the one who bred it)

Kaito has extra pockets sewn into his uniform to carry more tricks. This wasn't really necessary in canon, but here, Kaito has to be prepared to investigate at any moment.

Lmao help me render hair *stares at Kaito's* Cool effect but not quite right. I need to go experiment later.

Kaito/Shin getting shrunk (aka Conan situation) never happens in this au. But Haibara and the other victims are still around. Haibara still lives at the professor's.

~

Background:

Yusaku was much more entangled and involved with Toichi and his fight with the Black Org. Side note but in this au, Snake is from a division of the Black Org

As a result, they both end up being killed during the fateful accident. Yes, both Shinichi and Kaito are there for it. They were going to be introduced to each other on that day, but well,,, we can see the way it ended.

It wasn't well known that the Kuroba and Kudo family were close at all. Extra vigilance was taken after the funerals to ensure their safety. Their families parted ways for the better or worse after thsi event.

Yusaku's and Toichi's friendship/rivalry included collaborating for some heists, having a second secret base in the Kudo mansion, and Yusaku donning the Night Baron costume... even if he was just hidden in a car and sending information to Toichi via an earpiece lol.

After their husbands' deaths, Yukiko and Chikage meet up occasionally and travel together in secret.

~

Shinichi:

Shinichi never became a famous detective. The years after Yusaku died in the tragic accident, Yukiko and him tried their best to move on with varying success. Shinichi's dream to become a famous detective never came to fruition.

This was because for various reasons including not having Yusaku's guiding hand to develop Shin's detective skills, was only being taken to crime scenes for a year, and of course the trauma.

After avoiding detective work as much as he could (well considering that he's still a corpse magnet), Shinichi finally starts to dig through his memories. From then, he uncovered a strange inconsistency with the logic of his father's death and starts to obsess over the idea that it was a murder.

Shin painstakingly and slowly investigates in the shadows with his *ehem* admittedly rusty detective skills and chases after the very little crumbs left by the organisation. What he uncovers is that the accident wasn't one at all, but premeditated murder by an encompassing third party.

Shinichi finally finds a lead to,,, Jii Konosuke. This takes quite a few years, and Shinichi is 15 when he confronts Jii.

Jii reveals everything after Shinichi's deduction and also mistaking him for Kaito. And such Shinichi is brought into the fold. Shinichi also makes up his mind to take on the KID mantle, greatly sympathising with the fellow teen whose father was also involved.

The years after Shinichi uncovers the truth, he learns many skills such as disguise, acting and magic from Jii and Chikage. However, his magic skills will never be on par with Kaito's.

Shinichi in this au has more acting and disguise skills from living with his mother. She passed this skills onto him, and they bonded over it to recover from their grief.

When Shinichi is 17, he officially takes on the role of KID. Chikage permanently locked the KID cave in the Kuroba house, and the KID cave settled in its new home in the Kudo mansion. Inside the second base previously used by Toichi and Yusaku.

Shinichi as KID:

Well, he's just as dramatic as Kaito in canon, but it's a different kind of dramatic. Shin is more of a mysterious and cryptic phantom thief and wears a menacing Night Baron mask. He overall speaks less, and when he does, he says a lot of dramatic lines. Like in theatre almost, with plenty of double meanings.

He takes on a lot of aspects from the Phantom Lady and Jii's interpretation of KID.

And also, I was inspired by the Black Knight, Shiragami in canon, and AngelicSentinel's fantastic fic, Heart of Eternity. I guess you could describe it as more theatrely, cool and princely. He's still very athletic (laughing at Shinichi being Tarzan as Shiragami)

Unlike Kaito, Shin's notices often involve cryptic riddles. It satisfies Shinichi's puzzle loving side and adds to his mysterious reputation.

It's funny to me how Akako's 'Demon of Light' moniker is still accurate haha

Shinichi investigates a little in the shadows and is overall a touch more hot-headed than Kaito KID

He uses a lot more gadgets to cover for his lesser magic skills. He's still learning though! A lot of them are references to Conan's and KID's in canon. Between Jii and Agasa, he gets a lot of them haha. This includes:

Mask/monocle -> voice changer, mask to cover for poker face, zoom and night vision, tracker, microphone and radio, gas mask.

Transmitter/microphone -> button stickers, bugs in general, cufflinks. In some cases, a camera but it must be asked for first. Shin uses these to cover for Kaito's doves in canon.

Wristwatch -> Clock of course for his heist times, tranquilliser, emergency flashbomb (KID has one in canon too)

Shoes -> jet powered rollerskates (equivalent to skateboard). Of course, Shin still kicks things but it looks more to take down the occasional criminal, trigger emergency traps, and more. He doesn't kick often because it doesn't really suit the image of KID + it's a unique skill to have.

+ other usual KID gadgets -> smoke, flash, sleeping bombs, grapple gun, hang glider, etc.

~

Kaito:

He's still an aspiring magician

Since there's a rising amount of cases in Beika, Kaito gets recommended by Nakamori because of his magic skills. The idea is that his knowledge of magic tricks will help uncover the criminals' tricks... Well this includes basically all cases lol. It works though! And the news of Meitantei Kaito starts to spread.

Kaito falls in love with the dramatics and triumphs of figuring out a criminal's trick. He starts to get called into Beika every time a case is discovered. One different to Shin is that Kai gets called to the cases instead of the cases coming to him.

His detective persona is like KID's in canon - flirty, dramatic, confident, charming, a bit of a pervert, and a classic showman's personality. Aoko is sick of it hahaha.

Kai's deduction show is very dramatic. He uses flashy magic tricks to reveal evidence and tricks, and uses his magic to take down criminals.

This includes his acrobatics, trusty card gun and traps he set beforehand. I like to headcanon that Kaito invented his cardgun first before integrating into KID. Kaito's cardgun includes the normal sharp cards (Kaito uses it to pin down criminals with their clothes, cut ropes, etc), tranquilliser laced cards, smoke and flash bombs. And also sleeping bombs but he uses it vary sparingly because even that toes the law a little too much... Megure is exasperated but the criminals are taken down quickly without much harm so he lets it slide

Kaito also follows in the spirit of dubious investigation. He changes his voice, uses his doves to spy on others, uses disguises (very very rarely), and is noisy overall.

Kaito and Hakuba:

Has a detective rivalry with Hakuba.

Hakuba still thinks, even in this au, that Kaito is KID. After all, Shin's profile is very similar to Kaito's. Kaito vehemently denies it but acts like a KID fan around Hakuba to annoy him. He isn't really though, citing KID's magic to be third rate, but he is still intrigued.

Hakuba offhandedly slips in wording and insinuations to Kaito's huge annoyance. You can imagine them bickering at a crime scene while Megure is just Too Used to this.

Much later on, when Kaito learns Shinichi's identity, Kaito tells Shinichi's about Hakuba's warnings. So Kaito is kinda a messenger between the two. Despite Hakuba being annoying, Kaito knows he can trust him.

~ Other character interactions:

Shinichi and Kaito:

Shinichi is still a corpse magnet. So he encounters a case, calls the police, and escapes as fast as he can after giving a witness statement. This is partly to avoid the awkwardness of meeting Megure and the police officers (he hasn't met them since his father died), as well as his new night job.

This results in the most frustrating yet amusing situation where Shin and Kaito miss meeting each other for quite a few years. Shinichi is busy hurrying off while Kaito is called to the scene and busy listening to the details.

Quick sketch I may/may not fully finish in the future:

Description: Set in suburban Beika. Shinichi is at the foreground, looking at his watch and worrying about meeting Jii on time. Meanwhile, next to a police car, Megure merrily discusses case details to Kaito. Kaito is glancing over to Shinichi in curiosity while keeping an ear open. He has his hands in his pockets. Behind Megure, the scene has police tape barring entrance.

~

Kaito thinks KID is a third rate magician but can appreciate the dramatics and mysteriousness. He is Intrigued. This leads to a meeting later on. Kaito uses his connection to Nakamori.

Shinichi is of course startled by Kaito's namedrop.

... Sorry no more details/plan about their meeting. It's definitely a dramatic face off though.

Regarding Shinichi's identity reveal, I was playing around with the idea that Snake is there, threatening the two at gunpoint and sneering over the '"lovely family reunion between father and son". It would definitely spur Kaito to grill Shin for more details

~

Shinichi and Hattori:

Hattori hears about the "Meitantei of the East" and goes off to meet him and challenge him to a deduction battle. He doesn't know how to contact him, so he goes with the strat of wandering around Beika until he runs into a case. He figured that with the high rate of cases being reported, he's eventually run into Kuroba ,,, yeah hahahaha Thats his entire plan

Luckily for Hattori, his detective luck exponentially multiplies with Shin's and a scream runs out. As Shinichi is reporting the crime and tried to head off, Hattori slings an arm around his shoulders to stop him from sneaking off.

Hattori loudly greets him as Kuroba despite Shinichi's insistence that "No, I am NOT Kuroba, please get your arm off me". Insert much scepticism from Hattori.

Even after they part ways, this isn't the last they see of each other. Hattori keeps wandering around Beika while running into Shinichi. They eventually become friends huhu.

Shinichi and the Detective Boys:

The Detective Boys admire Kaito a lot. Obviously they've watched the news reports on TV. So when they see him at the park playing soccer, they glomp him HAHAH Poor Shinichi

At this point I think people mistaking Shinichi as Kaito can be a running gag. The Detective Boys keep annoying Shinichi and even attempt breaking into the 'Edo house' to see the ghosts... Shinichi is still not happy. And also, when they visit Haibara, they're basically next doors so Shinichi's never going to get them out of his life.

Despite the annoyance, he eventually becomes fond of them and takes on the big brother sort of role.

When Kaito and Shinichi get acquainted, they take the DB on outings a lot. The DB is very fond of Kaito-nii-san and Shinichi-nii-san.

[whore-era]

hii could you make a pornstar!ellie x reader imagine with any storyline! or a pornstar!ellie x reader headcanons? i absolutely love your work especially your ellie imagines! <3

pornstar!ellie headcanon: comforting her girlfriend 18+

not sure if this was what anon was asking, but this is what i came up with! enjoy!! mentions sex and bdsm/kinks, beware

under the alias, ellie sins (lets not talk about it), ellie williams never thought she'd find a stable and healthy relationship because of her career, but here you were, the girlfriend of one of the most infamous pornstars under the 'lesbian' category on any adult site.

being a pornstar's girlfriend brought out some unprecedented feelings you never thought you'd experience, insecurity.

of course you'd feel insecure, she fucked beautiful, sexy women for a LIVING

getting off from work and climbing into your shared bed inside your shared apartment, ellie greets you with a cuddle, "hey beautiful, how was your day?", she asks pressing a kiss behind your shoulder, "mmm, 'twas alright. just did some errands and picked up some groceries— oh! i found those animal crackers you loved so much so i picked those up," you smile, and her eyes light up. "yes! thank you, babe," biting your lip anxiously, your curiosity gets the best of you, "how was your day at work?" ellie turns over in bed to look at the ceiling, "oh, you know— same old, same old. just filmed another scene today." "how was it?" "it was fine, don't really feel like talking about it. it wore me out."

you tried not to pry about what went on when she was filming, but you couldn't help it. ellie has voiced that she never really liked talking about what she did at work in general, and she always reminded you that what she filmed and what people watched in private was never the same as the 'real thing'.

curiosity killed the cat, and you just had to search. ellie sins.

numerous thumbnails of her fucking gorgeous, more appealing women popped up, sending you down a hole. video after video played on your phone, ellie sins was dominant, degrading, controlling, and aggressive. the girls she would work with were stunning and fit and sensual and experienced and — not you. you began to have doubts about why ellie was with you in the first place.

"baby? you okay?," ellie asks, snapping you out of your deep thought, "you've been quiet ever since i got home. anything on your mind, sweet girl?" she queries. you hesitate to answer, not wanting her to know that you were watching her videos, but you were overwhelmed with emotion.

you burst into tears and covered your face with your hands, the cuffs of your sleeves over your fingers. "baby. hey, hey, hey," ellie takes you in her arms, "what's wrong? c'mon, tell me." she gently takes hold of your wrists, pulling them apart to reveal your face — all red and flushed, eyes puffy and wet with tears.

"i-i'm sorry, els," you hiccup, "i know you don't like talking about work— and i was curious—" hiccup, "and i just had to search—" hiccup, "and i watched some videos—"

the realization hits ellie, "you watched some of my videos?" she interrupts your ramble. you nod, and she lets out a chuckle, "if you were so curious about what i did, why didn't you ask?" you look down, fiddling with your fingers, "'cus it seems like you never wanna talk about it." a small smile forms on ellie's face and she takes you in her lap, "well, yea, silly girl. my type of work drains me dry and when i'm with you, i just wanna focus on you and you only." "yea, well, you're working with these sexy and experienced girls all day," you confess, "they're so pretty and curvy and fit and—"

ellie cuts you off with a kiss, "they aren't you," she whispers, pulling away, "they don't have your warm eyes or your adorable nose. they don't have your amazing fucking body, stretch marks and all. they don't sing to ice spice in the kitchen while they make dinner. they don't road rage like you do when someone cuts them off on the freeway," her compliment elicits a giggle from you, "those girls i work with, they're cool and all, but they could never compare to you, baby."

"how 'bout we do this. you come with me to work tomorrow and see what i really do on the daily?"

"AND CUT!" the loud shout of the woman causes ellie and her co-star, cat, to stop and pull away. under the hot, fluorescent studio lights combined with the numerous people watching and the repetitive amount of takes, you then realize that porn isn't really like how it is online. it's actually, super awkward and exhausting work to perform. you would pat every pornstar on the back if you could.

bringing ellie her robe and a bottle of water, she slips it on and uncaps the water, gulping it down. "you did really great, babe! i'm so proud!" you dote, giving her a kiss on the cheek, evoking a smile from her. "thank you, baby," she responds. "i never knew someone could squirt so much! like wow, it just kept spurting out, i thought she would've passed out from dehydration," you express in amusement, gaining a loud laugh from your girlfriend. "yea, it's all just effects and stimulants. not so fun."

ellie's co-star, cat, appears in front of you, donned in a silk robe with mascara streams still down her face from the amount of times ellie fucked her ass with the strap. "oh my god!! you must be the girlfriend!" cat exclaims, she pulls you in for a tight hug. "i've heard so much about you! it's so nice to finally put a face to the name!" and the two of you indulge in conversation, discovering that you and co-star indeed had a lot in common.

watching from a distance, ellie watches you interact with cat. her heart swelled in her chest, grateful that she took the risk of dating instead of letting her career hold her back. ellie was lucky to have met someone as understanding and amazing as you, and she was even more thankful that you were open to getting to know her world. and she would spend the rest of the time that you two are together reminding you that no matter how many girls she works with on a daily basis, that she'll always come home to you.

[kirbybecomesastarwarrior]

If I became the Monster...

If I became the monster, and threw that guilt away Would that make us stronger? Would it keep our foes at bay? If I became the monster to everyone but us And made sure we got home again Who would care if we're unjust If I became the

Lyrics from "Monster" from Epic the Musical

Guys, this is Meta Knight's song... it fits him perfectly!

This scene takes place around the time of Garlude's death...

Due to MK's reputation & everyone's prejudice against him being part demon. Many rumors spread that he ran away from the fight or he had jinxed her... Meta Knight couldn't help but blame himself.

Things have just been getting harder... and he was just getting so tired of losing people... which got him to think of something... something awful...

However, Jecra wouldn't allow it... he had no desire to see Meta Knight sacrificing himself... thankfully, he talked to him before he even got the chance to...

Convo:-

MK: Jec... what if I could save all of us with this

J: Oh no, you don't... I'm not gonna let you destroy yourself for us...

MK: But you all have homes and families to return to... Oh no... Garlude had a daughter, right? And I... Jec I should hav-

J: META KNIGHT! Don't you dare finish that!

MK: But it's my fault Jec... it's the least I can do-

J: DON'T LET THOSE F#CK*NG RUMORS GET TO YOU! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT YOU HEAR ME!... Meta, please don't do this...

MK: Jecra I just...*starts tearing* I just don't want to lose anyone else... I'm just so tired of Jec- *cries* It just keeps getting harder...

J: I know, Mets... I know... You're okay with me... you're safe with me... We love you so much... Meta, your life matters too! I'll say it as many times as I have to until you believe it... *Pulls him in for a hug

MK: Jec- I don't know what I'd do without you...

Finally, Meta Knight allows himself to cry in Jecra's arms and mourn the death of their friend...

Guess who ends up becoming the monster first... Oh, the irony is so painful... I can't believe I produced this.

Keep reading for more context & lore...

LORE TIME BABY!

Since the betrayal of Yamikage & the disappearance of the Ancients (the only people who had the power to reign him in), the GSA was now on the brink of ruin... Due to the lack of soldiers, everyone was spread out thin. This was when Uther reached his peak madness...

Similar to MK & Garlude... Sir Arthur & a small group (higher-ups who had some sort of moral code left) were sent out on a crusade to find the legendary sword Excalibur. (Which I will get into later...)

But in truth, these were all just "fool's errands" and were just ploys to get those who opposed him to be killed. And with Sir Arthur gone...(presumably dead), no one had free reign of the GSA...

Uther took this as an opportunity to cut Meta Knight's unit in half... putting them in squadrons that would surely use them as death fodder. Meta Knight loved his everyone squadron... he couldn't change the order... so he did something else.

Every time someone from the other half of his unit was dragged out to fight, he'd volunteer to go with them. Sir Uther used his affection for his team against him... (hoping he would die out there...)

(He tried to pull the same trick with Galaxia, and he was supremely pissed that MK came out alive... )

Meta kept sacrificing so much of himself to keep Jecra and his squadron safe... So many of his friends were dying now... and were forced to be scattered about. He couldn't save all of them (he couldn't be in two places at once...); now Garlude and his mentor were gone.

So yeah MK was already in a bad place... Garlude's death was just the cherry on top...

This brings us to this... "what if he became the monster", Meta Knight contemplates whether or not he should allow himself to unleash untapped power... and use his dark magic.

I can't say that much (because of spoilers), but he has a connection with Nightmare that allows him to tap into his pool of power... everyone in the GSA knew of his wings, but only his team (Team Halberd) knew of this connection of with Nightmare.

They knew he was playing with some dangerous forces...

But for those of you who were wondering what Meta Knight meant in the previous chapter in "Had I not tried to play the hero back then…... Perhaps this is my punishment..."

It's referring to this... Meta Knight does eventually go berserk after the death of Jecra! It was to protect the remaining people in his squadron... but it was all for not... they all still ended up dying.

But ultimately it was these powers that allowed Meta Knight to be the only one of the only survivors of the war... though he paid a terrible price because of it.

For those of you who were keeping up with the previous post... it was Jecra (Knuckle Joe's father).

I'm not going to confirm anything just yet, but Jecra was Meta Knight's right-hand man... his rock... his person... <3: Feel free to use this as shipping fodder... (MetaxJecra)

There's gonna be more lore-dumping before the next chapter 2-3 weeks until the next chapter. (which means more Jecra)

I hope you all enjoyed it!

[captain-mj]

I would honestly kill a man for more selkie Soap (with the side bonus of changeling Ghost if you would) it's such a good concept I love it

Continuation of this post! Also, yes, I realized after posting that I didn't explicitly say Ghost is a changeling, but in all of the Selkie Soap stuff, Ghost has been a changeling. 

"So. Yes, in a way? Selkie marriage is a bit different."

"Different how?" Soap slipped his coat on, relief flooding through him like his own blood in his veins.

"Well... it's not a contract for one. Both parties don't have to be aware. Your heart just... belongs with him until you can undo it."

"Ah..." So nothing really changed for him. "Understood. My coat is safe with me. I was injured and asked him to grab some things. He... He put it on... Should I..."

"Don't be too harsh on him. A lot of people feel the draw to it. He gave it back which proves he wasn't malicious. You just have to have him let you go."

"Let me go... Yeah. I can... I can do that." Shouldn't be too hard. Just get Ghost to call them friends or something. Some dumb thing that would imply they're not married. Fae rules. Twist a person's word to whatever you want.

"Stay safe out there. Want you to come home to me on your leave."

"I will, Ma. I promise." Soap smiled. "It's nice to hear your voice."

"You should call me more often. Maybe we can talk more about mystery man you have a crush on."

"Ma, he is my superior officer. Nothing will happen."

"He's also your husband." She teased gently.

"How dare you." Soap groaned before talking to her about other things. Unfortunately, being that he was injured, he ended up having to cut the call early, exhausted.

He slept a lot the first day and thanks to his coat, it was pretty nice sleep. Except for the fact that it made him dream of Ghost.

Every.

Fucking.

Dream.

It had to be the magic spouse thing going on because his dreams never made sense before. The first started normal for him, weird discombobulated scenes that barely strung together and then... Ghost entered. He held his hand and they talked like normal.

Soap couldn't get dream Ghost's laughter out of his head. Despite all their jokes, he had only ever gotten a huff out of him. He didn't think it was because he wasn't funny, he was and he leaned into Ghost's shitty humor so he knew it wasn't that, but just because Ghost didn't laugh. Ghost also didn't cry. He didn't show his face. All known and accepted facts.

The second dream started off weird. He didn't dream of being in the ocean often. But there he was! Normal selkie behavior, craving the sea.

And there Ghost fucking was. in the water with him. Dark eyes that reminded him of the fucking deep staring at him. Even in his dreams, Ghost wore that stupid skull mask.

And that led him to the one he just had. Ghost's mouth on his neck, hand in his pants. He was in the medbay, trying very hard to ignore that he was harder than he had been in months from that simple of a dream.

Fucking hell. That goddamn idiot just had to put on his coat. Had to bind them together like this.

He thought of him and tried to stay mad but it was difficult. Ghost really didn't know and he gave it back and...

Soap groaned in frustration. He needed to get out of the hospital and unmarried.

"Johnny?"

Speak of the devil.

"Ghost." He smiled at him instinctively. “What are you doing here again?”

Ghost stared at him for a minute before shrugging. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Everything alright, LT?”

Ghost looked around the med bay. “Yeah. I’m good.” He sat down, body barely fitting in the chair. 

Soap watched him for a minute before relaxing into his bed. He didn’t feel tired now plus he was worried about what dreams he’d get now that Ghost was there to observe them.

“Am I dreaming?” Soap asked out loud, glancing at Ghost.

“No.” Ghost laughed and closed his eyes, head tilting back. “I got bored. Nothing to do in this fucking place.”

“So you come to me?”

“Yeah, guess I did.” Ghost glanced at him, head tilting. Soap felt a twinge of frustration. No matter how closely he looked at Ghost, his eyes never looked the same. Always switching from brown to blue and back again.

“Do you wear contacts?”

“What? No. Why the fuck do you think that?”

“Your eyes change.”

“It’s called lighting.” Simon said it deadpan, but Soap could see the smallest shaking of his shoulders like he was laughing. 

Soap smiled. “What kind of car does a sheep like to drive?”

“What’s that, Johnny?”

“A lamborghini.” Soap sat up, wincing. Ghost leaned over and helped him up, readjusting him against the pillows. He tried very hard to tell himself anyone would help someone who was hurt, but Ghost didn’t usually go to the medbay at all, let alone help. 

“When I was on leave last time, I got so bored I took fencing.” Ghost said to him quietly, like he was telling a secret.

“Really?” Ghost being a sword fighter sounded a little too much. Guy was already an expert at almost everything else.

“Yeah my neighbors keep demanding I give it back.” His eyes met Johnny’s before he burst into laughter, wincing when it made his leg move. 

“Christ, Lt. That was especially bad.” He smiled at him. He noticed his hands. “You’re still wearing your gloves. That cold in here?”

“No. I don’t get cold easily.” 

“Then why do you wear all the layers?” Johnny knew the answer already.

“Don’t want to be seen.” Ghost glanced at him, tilting his head. They stared at each other for a while. 

Yeah, nothing really changed. Ghost had a stranglehold on his heart already, didn’t need the coat for it. He averted his gaze and started talking about football. It was an easy subject, he knew Ghost watched games when on leave and thanks to playing in highschool, he knew the ins and outs enough to impress anyone. 

“You play sports in high school?” In Soap’s head, Ghost must’ve. Tall guy with broad shoulders? Every coach would’ve been fighting to get him. 

“No.” 

“What did you do?”

“Worked as soon as I could.” Ghost answered honestly. “Didn’t have time for stuff like that.” 

Soap frowned, going to change the subject before it hit him that Ghost just freely answered something about himself. He trudged on. “Did you like school?”

“Yeah. It was better than home at least.” 

“Have any siblings that stuck around?”

Wrong question. Ghost got up. “I should let you sleep. It’s late.”

“Wait, Simon.” Soap went to apologize, but Ghost looked at him and he shut up immediately. Not because Ghost scared him, but the way his eyes looked. Sliver of gold around his pupil that disappeared as soon as Soap saw it. “Goodnight, sir.”

“Goodnight, Johnny.”

Soap took a deep breath when he was gone. So Ghost wasn’t human either. From the way he acted, Soap was still pretty sure he didn’t know he was a selkie, he still believed their marriage was accidental. But this did make everything quiet a bit more interesting. 

[jellybeanium124]

maybe it's time for me to make a post about izzy's redemption arc as a jar guy who's been a fan of the bastard since season 1.

prior to season 2 airing, I was redemption arc neutral. I thought that a redemption arc could be good, but a "get even worse" arc could also be good. my ideal izzy ending was him leaving ed to go be a pirate on his own after realizing that they couldn't fit together in any healthy way. I wrote a fic about this.

anyways, they completely fucked the redemption arc up. I don't have too much of a problem with 2x01-2x04, despite the major issue of izzy suddenly understanding his feelings for ed and being able to physically say out loud to ed "I have... love, for you." I mean, it's a fantastic line and con delivers it perfectly, I just wish it hadn't happened in the first 15 minutes of the season. like imagine placing this line somewhere else? what if it was in 2x02 instead, aka The Edizzy Episode Ever aka The Episode That Made Me Interested In The Edizzy Dynamic. like ok ok ok ok. ed gives izzy the gun. he goes and stands like jesus in the light on the cross. izzy shakily holds up the gun, but then he laughs. he laughs and then cuts himself off and then he chokes down a swallow and says "I have... love, for you, Edward." imagine being ed in that moment. isn't that super fucked up? isn't it glorious? imagine hearing that when all you want to do is die?? like WAUGHHHH right?

anyways, moving on.

I do like 2x05. I think it's a just a really fun chill episode and my exact flavor of TV that I like. I call it "11 short films about the Revenge" because it's structured in a series of loose snippets and scenes. I do enjoy the izzy & stede stuff in this episode (izzy slaps stede's ass lmao how could I not enjoy it?) but it's really the episode where issues with how izzy is redeemed start to come to light.

why is he so good at not being an asshole? izzy, for the most part, doesn't fall back into old habits. he'll make the occasional uncomfortable comment, or walks up to wee john looking like he's gonna say something homophobic, but he doesn't. sure, he can't move as fast or as well as he used to, but he used to have no issues pushing the crew, and he never trips up. he's just so goddamn open too! I get that accepting the leg is like, a metaphor for accepting the crew, but it'd be cool if izzy had trouble actually doing that. in s1 izzy is so socially awkward, and he clearly is not a people person. Why didn't he struggle with being accepted, an entirely new feeling? Why didn't he try to remain a loner, just a little bit? HOW ON EARTH DID HE GET TO THE POINT WHERE HE COULD DO DRAG IN PUBLIC??

my favorite flavor of steddyhands in fic, and I promise this is related and I wouldn't say that if it wasn't relevant, is the kind where stede and ed conspire to flirt with izzy and izzy is a complete dumbass who doesn't know what's going on. izzy in these fics is trying to be better, but he doesn't know how. he constantly struggles to voice his feelings, he struggles to change his old toxic thought patterns, he struggles with openness and vulnerability. how come izzy didn't struggle with that in the show? he spent 50-something years being closed off to the world, and now he can open himself up with no issues?

that's how you "redeem" izzy and keep him fundamentally izzy. he's trying to be less of an asshole, but he's not really great at it. he wants to learn how to open himself up, but he's never done it before. he's still a loner at heart. he's still socially awkward. he still has toxic assumptions to work through. my izzy, my ruthless bastard rat man, was replaced in the show with a clone and then that clone was killed.

I understand that doing this right would require more time. I wish they got that time. and I wish they did something different with the time they had.

[squishyteri]

*Deep disappointed sigh*

I was thinking that I'll be sitting here at this time, writing about finishing another amazing drama, but instead I'm sitting here, absolutely baffled and beyond dissapointment and confusion.

What the hell just happened? That what what I've asked right after finishing the final episode of DFF. And the worst part is that I will actually never know what had happened.

Honestly, the drama started getting worse in episode 10. That was a whole mess (I've written entire post about it, read HERE ). Episode 11 was good in a terms of what it gave us, but it was at very wrong place. It was truly bad choice for the pre-finale ep, that was supposed to build up the tension for the final ordeal, so this Tee backstory felt anti-climatic.

And today, the finale came and it felt like I clicked on the wrong show. Am I really watching DFF? I asked in disbelief. I just couldn't believe what I saw.

I try to go one by one.

Starting with Fluke. That was actually the part I liked. He was the bywatcher. He just watched. So it was really good choice to let him stab his eyes out. But I hated that he didn't even know about it, since he died (most likely) while still being high on absinth. I HATE the choice of having him die. Him living blind, not being able to be a doctor would be such a great punishment for him.

Top ... Well, first of all, how are you still alive, buddy? But given the amount of people (1) that took way too long to die, I guess people in DFF universe are just slower at dying from very obvisouly fatal wounds. Him killing himself and taking Fluke with him was okay, I guess? I mean we know NOTHING about Top, so how could I know what is in character and what not?

Tee and White. Oh boy. I knew right away that us getting the emotional backstory of Tee is not a gift, it would come in an exchange of an inevitable traumatic experience. But this was not what I expected at ALL. If everything else was perfect, this would fit well. I feel like it's a good scene and great punishment for Tee to live with. ... If we KNEW what happened to Tee... but I'll get to that later.

(also like... White's character is so ... idk, he's just a random, innocent dude, who is there only for the purpose of dying ... not the mention he was really annoying to me at the beginning, like what was that about?)

Now here it comes. Jin. I ... I can't say much, because I think even Tumblr would ban me if I went into detail. Let's just say I did not expected Jin to be horny on main. I still don't understand how Jin was the one who posted the video (we had some evidence it might have been someone else), but if he did or thinks he did, it only makes sense his fear would be related to it. But even so, I think his fear should've been more about him not protecting Non. We know that Jin liked Non and wanted to protect him. So why is his biggest fear everyone knowing he's horny on main? We know from Copper himself that Jin should've been percieved as a good character, but him fearing that what he did to Non happens to him is sort of selfish and absolutely not something I thought about Jin. But let's be honest, bad writing was screwing Jin over since like ep 6 (and it was doing it even harder than Phee) (sorry for this one, I'm leaving the room now).

Now Phee. His fear is obvious and he's the only one getting out of the hallucinations and saving the day. (probably) I didn't understand his momentarily need to save New??? Like buddy, you are in this mess because of him??? But him getting the antidote, saving Jin and then coming back for Tee: amazing, hot, I loved it. Only sad that was like 2 minutes of this tragedy.

New. Oh, New. He was a guy broken beyond repair and I knew he will go. I mostly hoped he would end his life himself after realizing what he did and what happened to Non, but he was too lost for that. But I'm okay with his ending.

FINALLY the holy grail of dissapointment. The ending itself. It suddenly cutting to "2 Years Later" got me thinking That's it??? It didn't even have the shock point, because I was confused the entire time. I was thinking why on earth would you end it like that? Why are PheeJin having happy ending (not that I didn't want it, but not like this, not like this, mate) and why is Tee having the bad ending (really, why?) and like what happened? What did police say? Why we skipped two years ... and suddenly BOOM, they smacked me across my face with that "oh, how did we get out then and why is Non over there?" ending. Like WHAT?

HELLO?

REALLY?

Like you really made me sit through 11 episodes, making my judgement and assumptions about every single character, wanting their ending to be whatever I felt they deserve and instead of giving me the shock, happiness, sadness of what you cooked for them you GIVE ME NOTHING?! OF ALL POSSIBLE CHOICES, YOU GIVE ME NOTHING?!

Is this like write your own ending thing or-? WHY WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME HANGING.

Not to mention there are lot of things unexplained.

Was Jin the one who really posted the video? There were lot of contradictions to it.

How on earth did New manage to prepare everything and hurt Por? We just heard it from Phee, who couldn't have possibly known. And some things like weren't adding up, even if we have the hallucinations thing.

What happened to Keng? Like, is he dead? But we never saw the body. Really, what's with him?

Who are the survivors? We might assume Phee, Jin and Tee, but are they? Are they all dead? What happened to them? This was literally why we all were here and we don't even get that answer?

That ending was soooooo anticlimatic and out of place. This kind of ending can work, but in a slasher movie where we don't care about characters that much and we are there just for the blood and murders (A Nightmare on Elm Street does this wonderfully, for example) but not in a drama, where we spent HOURS learning backstories of each character (except Top, like who is he?) and want to know what is their destiny.

It's like if the ending of Harry Potter was Harry and Voldemort about to fight, then cut to the 19 Years Later scene, but Harry sees Voldemort on the platform and then cut to broken Hogwarts and then end credits. Like, nah, that doesn't work.

I don't want to make my or yours suffering any longer that needed, so I will end this here. I'm very sad, very disappointed and very confused. I feel like I was robbed. This drama was so good, but the writing team just gave up somewhere around episode 9. It's like when I think of good plot for a fic, but don't come up with the ending and have to write just whatever to not leave it open.

Yep, thank you for reading this. The best part about this drama was without the doubt being able to share my thoughts and theorize with everyone. Thank you guys for it.

Special thanks goes to my beloved friends @tbhimnoteasyonmyself @ayansbff @jeffsatursgender and @toonstuna, who were watching each episode along with me and today (and not just today, for like past month and half) were very nice, kind and patient to listen to me ranting about everything for hours (as they were all ranting themselves). Love you all, guys, really <3

Thank you everyone who has been through this with me. Hopefully next time we will meet again at something less disappointing.

Baya!

[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret : What If...?

a series of alternate/unused bks story lines!!

contains spoilers for all of bks!!

alternate torture @ the end

i grappled with this a lot. i very strongly believe that the worst thing you can do with your characters in a high stakes situation is coddle them. if i've learned anything from dnd it's that you cannot be afraid to hurt you characters.

yet for the first time in my life i've become so attached that i just couldn't do it.

the tongue in a box scene was something that caused me a lot of turmoil. in the original cut it was elaine's tongue, but i talked to my friend catie about it and we agreed that cutting off a lesbians tongue is fucked up. then i considered actually cutting off din's tongue, i thought that that would make for something really interesting with the big reveal if he couldn't talk to her but it just seemed too brutal? i couldn't really wrap my head around it so i eventually just made it someone elses tongue.

my replacement for that was din's leg, that was something that sort of came on at the last second, i gave him the limp as foreshadowing and then said fuck it, lets take the whole thing.

dress maker

the scene in chapter 4 where din walks in on her in the bath was originally a much longer sequence where a modiste visited the castle and there was a lot of stuff around making new dresses for her and din was going to walk in while she was getting changed.

eventually i scrapped the entire concept and gave elaine the seamstress trait instead.

multiple parties & balls (masquerade)

i briefly mentioned this in the q&a but in the original bks outline there were a lot more parties and big scenes like that. i realized pretty quickly that balls and parties are a visual medium. the reason why i like those scenes so much in other things is because they're so visually appealing which is harder to do when writing. there was going to be a readers birthday ball, a few other parties or wedding for kodos siblings etc but it always felt like filler.

the masquerade was my dream sequence that just never really fir naturally fit with the story so i eventually had to let it go.

no breakup/rules storyline

there was no break up in the original bks story board. instead, everything after chapter 7 was gonna be based around breaking each and every rule.

each chapter following would have been dedicated to breaking a few of the rules up until the last one that would have been; no falling in love, stop when i say to stop, and no kissing would have all been one big climax chapter. it would have been very little women in the 'we have got to have it out jo' sort of sense where she begs him to stop talking but he just keeps confessing.

eventually i realized that a rule or two break every chapter wasn't very sustainable. it was a fun idea and it might work in a different setting but bks at its core is supposed to be an overly dramatic period piece and there just wasn't enough conflict with that so instead i went with the breakup.

alternative ending

i had a similar ending for quite some time and one day i was listening to music and thinking about bks and realized that she loved naboo. originally they fled after kodo was killed. they built a cabin somewhere far away etc. etc.

but the character seemed to make more sense as someone who would want to do right by the people she had grown to love within the kingdom so i decided to make it a sort of thing where she disassembled the monarchy.

(there was also an ending where she faked her own death, framed kodo, and he was ripped apart by the citizens of naboo)

and of course i briefly considered genuinely killing din and having her raise the baby on her own. but the idea made me so truly upset that i just couldnt do it.

hoth story line

not much to say here other that there was going to be a thing where she went back to hoth to visit her family accompanied by the mandalorian. another thing that was fun as a concept but ended up feeling like filler so i dropped it.

elaine plot twist

another case of me really loving elaine and being conflicted about her character.

originally elaine was going to tell kodo about their relationship. it was going to be a situation where kodo suspected something and threatened lysa forcing elaine to take action but eventually i decided to use my backup which was leo since there had been foreshadowing for that anyway

neutral kodo

for quite a while i planned for kodo to be just a bad husband and not a villain. but i needed more conflict and i needed a driving force and he was easy to mold into that.

there was an alternate storyline where he fell in love with the reader and “killed” din out of jealousy

[tsarinatorment]

Michael Yew's Fatal Flaw

This meta is the fault of @apollosgiftofprophecy who made the questionable decision of asking about Michael's fatal flaw in my vicinity the other day.

People who have been following me for a while may recall I once answered an ask about Apollo kid fatal flaws, and mentioned Michael there. Please ignore what I said back then because I'd barely even started picking him apart to see what made him tick, and my conclusions there have since been deemed rather surface-level!

The first question, of course, is what is a fatal flaw? What makes it different from a regular character flaw? The clue's in the name, I think - fatal flaw is one that's most likely to one day result in the hero's death, as Annabeth also suggests in Sea of Monsters:

“I don’t know, Percy, but every hero has one. If you don’t find it and learn to control it … well, they don’t call it ‘fatal’ for nothing.”

Athena gives us a little more to go on in The Titan's Curse:

"In each case, your loved ones have been used to lure you into Kronos's traps. Your fatal flaw is personal loyalty, Percy. You do not know when it is time to cut your losses. To save a friend, you would sacrifice the world. In a hero of the prophecy, that is very, very dangerous." I balled my fists. "That's not a flaw. Just because I want to help my friends—" "The most dangerous flaws are those which are good in moderation," she said. "Evil is easy to fight. Lack of wisdom… that is very hard indeed."

Of course, she's talking specifically to Percy about his flaw here, but there are certainly broader points to be inferred from this. When you break down all her warnings, it boils down near enough to "your fatal flaw is one you either cannot fight, or do not want to fight, because you think it is right/justified", which is interesting. It's a flaw that you don't, necessarily, recognise as a flaw, which makes it difficult to do anything about because how can something that's right be wrong?

As Athena says, the most dangerous flaws are those which are good in moderation - flaws that, in most situations, actually help, or are perceived to do so. These are the flaws most likely to kill the hero - and maybe others, as well.

With that out of the way, let's start picking apart Michael properly.

Generally, I see anger, pride or stubbornness put forwards as suggestions for his fatal flaw, so I'll look at each of those and see how well they actually fit. On top of that, I'm also going to explore two other contenders that I've come to notice from the hundreds of times I've re-read his scenes - protectiveness, and love.

First up, let's talk about Anger.

Anger is the one that seems to spring to mind most readily for some people (myself included), and it's hardly surprising given his introductory scene:

She was in the midst of yelling at Michael Yew, the new head counselor for Apollo, which looked kind of funny since Clarisse was a foot taller. Michael had taken over the Apollo cabin after Lee Fletcher died in battle last summer. Michael stood four feet six, with another two feet of attitude. He reminded me of a ferret, with a pointy nose and scrunched-up features—either because he scowled so much or because he spent too much time looking down the shaft of an arrow. "It's our loot!" he yelled, standing on his tiptoes so he could get in Clarisse's face. "If you don't like it, you can kiss my quiver!" [...] I couldn't believe Clarisse and Michael standing over her, arguing about something as stupid as loot, when she'd just lost Beckendorf. "STOP IT!" I yelled. "What are you guys doing?" Clarisse glowered at me. "Tell Michael not to be a selfish jerk." "Oh, that's perfect, coming from you," Michael said.

(As an aside, I love Michael's "kiss my quiver" line because hip quivers are very much a thing and if you think of his quiver as on his hip instead of his back... he's basically saying "kiss my ass" but in a kid-book-friendly way)

Michael's introduction is full of aggression - he's standing on tiptoes, getting "in Clarisse's face", and yelling at her. To make matters worse, it's in front of a grieving Silena which makes him (and Clarisse, but we've already had four books on how much Clarisse can be a bitch in Percy's opinion) look incredibly callous and uncaring. Percy's rather unflattering description about "two feet of attitude" and "because he scowled so much" adds to the overall impression that Michael's a right piece of work as well. Thanks, Percy.

It's a good introduction, though. This is memorable, as far as character introductions go (far more memorable than the first time we're introduced to Beckendorf, or Silena, etc.), and it's full of personality - personality that says Michael is not afraid to throw hands and will do it anywhere, anytime. It directly opposes him with Clarisse, but in such a way that makes them seem like similar characters, and we know anger/rage is one of Clarisse's traits as well.

This scene isn't a one-off, either. We get the full feud against the Ares cabin, which Michael spearheads:

We ducked as Michael Yew's chariot dive-bombed an Ares camper. The Ares camper tried to stab him and cuss him out in rhyming couplets. He was pretty creative about rhyming those cuss words. "We're fighting for our lives," I said, "and they're bickering about some stupid chariot." "They'll get over it," Annabeth said. "Clarisse will come to her senses."

The fact that it's Clarisse, not Michael, that Annabeth thinks is going to stand down also says a lot about how she sees the pair of them, and she must know Michael reasonably well, so this adds another note to the impression that Michael can be even more unreasonable than Clarisse (although it should also be noted that in this feud Michael is the one in the right, and Chiron has said as much to the campers, or at least the head counsellors - and of course from a narrative point of view, Clarisse is a far more familiar character for readers).

Michael himself also admits later on that he lost his temper with Clarisse again off-screen:

Michael shrugged. "Yeah, well, I called her some names when she said she still wouldn't fight. I doubt that helped. Here come the uglies!"

Those names certainly weren't ones for polite company - or a children's book. I think we can confidently say that Michael certainly has a temper, much like his father is legendary for.

But is it a fatal flaw? Well, sadly we have a scene that's implied to be Michael's death scene (I say implied because we never saw a body and a lot of things don't quite add up, so I prefer to think of him as not-dead, but for the purposes of this meta we'll consider it his death scene), so let's go look at that.

He struck the bridge with the butt of his scythe, and a wave of pure force blasted me backward. Cars went careening. Demigods—even Luke's own men—were blown off the edge of the bridge. Suspension cords whipped around, and I skidded halfway back to Manhattan. I got unsteadily to my feet. The remaining Apollo campers had almost made it to the end of the bridge, except for Michael Yew, who was perched on one of the suspension cables a few yards away from me, His last arrow was notched in his bow.

Michael's final stand happens immediately after several demigods - including his own siblings - are just blown clean off the bridge by Kronos. Is it a decision spurred by anger after things going wrong after they were finally going right? It would make sense.

However, there is one big issue with anger as his fatal flaw. Obviously, Michael does have this temper, and it does get out of hand, but we only ever see it get out of hand in the (relative) safety of camp. The Michael we see in Manhattan actually seems very calm and in control the entire time. He's observant and quick-witted, and is the only head counsellor to spot (or at least verbalise) a potential flaws in Percy and Annabeth's plan.

"He's right," Annabeth said. "The gods of the wind should keep Kronos's forces away from Olympus by air, so he'll try a ground assault. We have to cut off the entrances to the island." "They have boats," Michael Yew pointed out. An electric tingle went down my back. Suddenly I understood Athena's advice: Remember the rivers. "I'll take care of the boats," I said. Michael frowned. "How?" "Just leave it to me," I said.

Of course, Percy being the son of Poseidon can plug that massive gap, but it took Michael asking the question for him to make the important connection that he needed to.

This calmness continues into the battle itself, as well.

Michael Yew ran up to us. He was definitely the shortest commando I'd ever seen. He had a bandaged cut on his arm. His ferrety face was smeared with soot and his quiver was almost empty, but he was smiling like he was having a great time. "Glad you could join us," he said. "Where are the other reinforcements?" "For now, we're it," I said. "Then we're dead," he said. [...] "We have to fall back," Michael said. "I've got Kayla and Austin setting traps farther down the bridge." "No," I said. "Bring your campers forward to this position and wait for my signal. We're going to drive the enemy back to Brooklyn." Michael laughed. "How do you plan to do that?" I drew my sword. "Percy," Annabeth said, "let me come with you." "Too dangerous," I said. "Besides, I need you to help Michael coordinate the defensive line. I'll distract the monsters. You group up here. Move the sleeping mortals out of the way. Then you can start picking off monsters while I keep them focused on me. If anybody can do all that, you can." Michael snorted. "Thanks a lot."

No temper tantrums, no yelling like he did with Clarisse earlier - he's matter of fact when he realises they don't really have reinforcements (not knowing, of course, about Percy's little Styx bath), he doesn't argue with Percy when Percy starts taking command. He continues to say his piece and get his point across, but at no point do we ever get the sense that Michael is anything other than perfectly in control at any point during the battle - which is not what you would expect from a rage-based fatal flaw.

For example, contrast Michael's scenes with Clarisse later in the battle:

The real Clarisse looked up at the drakon, her face filled with absolute hate. I'd seen a look that intense only once before. Her father, Ares, had worn the same expression when I'd fought him in single combat. "YOU WANT DEATH?" Clarisse screamed at the drakon. "WELL, COME ON!" She grabbed her spear from the fallen girl. With no armor or shield, she charged the drakon.

and

"I AM CLARISSE, DRAKON-SLAYER!" she yelled. "I will kill you ALL! Where is Kronos? Bring him out! Is he a coward?" "Clarisse!" I yelled. "Stop it. Withdraw!" "What's the matter, Titan lord?" she yelled. "BRING IT ON!" There was no answer from the enemy. Slowly, they began to fall back behind a dracaenae shield wall, while Clarisse drove in circles around Fifth Avenue, daring anyone to cross her path. The two- hundred-foot-long drakon carcass made a hollow scraping noise against the pavement, like a thousand knives. Meanwhile, we tended our wounded, bringing them inside the lobby. Long after the enemy had retreated from sight, Clarisse kept riding up and down the avenue with her horrible trophy, demanding that Kronos meet her battle.

Calm and collected whomst? Not to say that Clarisse's temper isn't understandable here, but this fits much more in line with Athena's description of a fatal flaw - one that seems justified, right, even (and later on, Clarisse gets frozen by a Hyperborean Giant, so this does come back to bite her!), as opposed to the way Michael seems to stay in control of his temper even when his siblings are being killed around him.

With all that in mind, while I willa gree that anger is a flaw of Michael's, it certainly doesn't seem to check the boxes to be a fatal flaw, so let's move onto the next one: Pride.

Pride has its roots in the same parts of the narration as anger, so this section is going to be rather shorter because I don't need to rehash all the quotes again. The main thing that stands out on the pride side of the feud, specifically, is that it's completely needless for Michael to keep agitating Clarisse and the Ares cabin.

Clarisse turned to Chiron. "You're in charge, right? Does my cabin get what we want or not?" Chiron shuffled his hooves. "My dear, as I've already explained, Michael is correct. Apollo's cabin has the best claim. Besides, we have more important matters—" [...] "I see," Clarisse said. "And the senior counselors? Are any of you going to side with me?" Nobody was smiling now. None of them met Clarisse's eyes.

Chiron's put his hooves down on the matter - the Apollo cabin has the best claim to the chariot, Clarisse is the aggressor here. The other head counsellors all agree with that, too. Michael could, and given the upcoming war, should, ignore her and put his and his siblings' focus towards the war and not an argument he's already won.

But he doesn't. His chariot is attacking the campers - the Apollo kids aren't just defending themselves from the upset Ares kids, they're on the offensive themselves, arguably more so than the Ares campers.

As we crossed the commons area, a fight broke out between the Ares and Apollo cabins. Some Apollo campers armed with firebombs flew over the Ares cabin in a chariot pulled by two pegasi. I'd never seen the chariot before, but it looked like a pretty sweet ride. Soon, the roof of the Ares cabin was burning, and naiads from the canoe lake rushed over to blow water on it. Then the Ares campers called down a curse, and all the Apollo kids' arrows turned to rubber. The Apollo kids kept shooting at the Ares kids, but the arrows bounced off. Two archers ran by, chased by an angry Ares kid who was yelling in poetry: "Curse me, eh? I'll make you pay! / I don't want to rhyme all day!"

This feels a lot like he's trying to validate that yes, the chariot really is his cabin's, and the fact that Clarisse keeps insisting otherwise despite every non-Ares member of the camp being on Michael's side is insulting/undermining the Apollo cabin's claim.

It also sounds like he made sure to have the final word against Clarisse when she still refused to come and fight, which is a very prideful action.

"Nah," Michael said. "Left it at camp. I told Clarisse she could have it. Whatever, you know? Not worth fighting about anymore. But she said it was too late. We'd insulted her honor for the last time or some stupid thing." "Least you tried," I said. Michael shrugged. "Yeah, well, I called her some names when she said she still wouldn't fight. I doubt that helped. Here come the uglies!"

The thing is, though, that we hit a snag with the pride theory at this point for a similar reason to the anger one - as soon as there's something bigger and more immediate to focus on, Michael sets it aside.

He gives up the chariot they were fighting over - the chariot that, rightfully, is the Apollo cabin's - for no reason other than because he knew that they needed the Ares cabin to come and fight and it was the only thing he could think of that he could do to try and change Clarisse's mind - made even more stark when compared with Michael's original, in-camp, reaction to Clarisse's declaration.

Clarisse threw her knife on the Ping-Pong table. "All of you can fight this war without Ares. Until I get satisfaction, no one in my cabin is lifting a finger to help. Have fun dying." The counselors were all too stunned to say anything as Clarisse stormed out of the room. Finally Michael Yew said, "Good riddance."

It's true that Michael does get upset when Clarisse ignores his sacrifice of the chariot and still refuses to fight, but I think that's understandable given the situation (and he is, still, a teenage boy with a temper). It doesn't change the fact that he does it, however, nor the fact that Michael doesn't rescind the sacrifice and bring the chariot with him regardless, despite its potential stragetic uses in the war. Pride certainly doesn't seem to have much if any weight in his final stand, either, so I'd say that like anger, this doesn't actually fit as his fatal flaw, even if it might be somewhat of a personal trait/flaw.

At this point, it seems a little bit like a moot point to poke at Stubbornness because most of the counter-arguments for anger and pride also address this, but I'll quickly go over it anyway because this is the first one that properly shows itself all the way through Michael's appearances.

I've already mentioned the way he doesn't back down in the chariot feud, which is pride, yes, but also stubbornness - he won't leave it alone, won't let Clarisse stake her own claim on it, keeps fighting past the point of necessity over it.

But then we have his final scene, where he stands his ground. There's no indication that Michael even tried to run when the bridge crumbled.

I got unsteadily to my feet. The remaining Apollo campers had almost made it to the end of the bridge, except for Michael Yew, who was perched on one of the suspension cables a few yards away from me, His last arrow was notched in his bow. "Michael, go!" I screamed. "Percy, the bridge!" he called. "It's already weak!" At first I didn't understand. Then I looked down and saw fissures in the pavement. Patches of the road were half melted from Greek fire. The bridge had taken a beating from Kronos's blast and the exploding arrows. "Break it!" Michael yelled. "Use your powers!" [...] I turned to thank Michael Yew, but the words died in my throat. Twenty feet away, a bow lay in the street. Its owner was nowhere to be seen. "No!" I searched the wreckage on my side of the bridge. I stared down at the river. Nothing.

Michael completely ignores Percy telling him to run, tells him to break the bridge that he's currently on and clearly has no intentions of leaving, not with that notched arrow that he then seems to have fired, given that there's no arrow later on. This seems the closest we've got so far to a flaw that goes beyond a simple character flaw and into the fatal category.

Except.

He's a stubborn character, but just like with anger, like with pride, Michael keeps putting it aside when it might otherwise cause issues during the battle - he questions Percy's plans more than once, but despite that, he cedes command to Percy on Williamsburg Bridge, follows his orders instead of continuing with his own strategies, and generally shows that he's exactly the sort of person you want by your side/at your back when you're fighting. Michael's flexible and prepared to change and adapt as the situation does - which is pretty much the opposite of stubbornness, so while at first glance it seemed like a strong candidate it's once again contradicted by the scenes on Williamsburg Bridge.

So, that's the three usual suspects that arise from the chariot feud all falling apart once we rearch the battlefield. Michael is certainly passionate about the fight - more than once, Percy implies that he seems to actually be having a good time on the battlefield and there's no other explanation other than eagerness for this moment:

I sliced through armor like it was made of paper. Snake women exploded. Hellhounds melted to shadow. I slashed and stabbed and whirled, and I might have even laughed once or twice—a crazy laugh that scared me as much as it did my enemies. I was aware of the Apollo campers behind me shooting arrows, disrupting every attempt by the enemy to rally. Finally, the monsters turned and fled—about twenty left alive out of two hundred. I followed with the Apollo campers at my heels. "Yes!" yelled Michael Yew. "That's what I'm talking about!"

But despite all of this, that passion doesn't seem to be based in anger, pride, or stubbornness, despite those being the first things people seem to think of when they think about Michael - and that's why I have two more options added to the list to explore.

Moving on, then, I'll start with Protectiveness.

So, just now I said that stubbornness is what caused Michael's final moments, but is it really? It was certainly part of it, but also - as I mentioned earlier, when talking about anger, Michael's final stand is immediately after some of his siblings have been thrown off the bridge - having already seen at least one other sibling killed earlier:

Hellhounds leaped ahead of the line from time to time. Most were destroyed with arrows, but one got hold of an Apollo camper and dragged him away. I didn't see what happened to him next. I didn't want to know.

Siblings, of course, that as their head counsellor he is the one in charge of and responsible for - it's likely that he's the oldest in the cabin as well (although not guaranteed), and that these are all his younger siblings that are getting killed/seriously injured/status unknown. We're told that the "remaining" Apollo campers are running for the end of the bridge and retreating as far as possible - all of them except for Michael, who was with them to start with but stopped and turned to face the enemy.

Michael and his archers tried to retreat, but Annabeth stayed right beside me, fighting with her knife and mirrored shield as we slowly backed up the bridge.

Followed by

The remaining Apollo campers had almost made it to the end of the bridge, except for Michael Yew, who was perched on one of the suspension cables a few yards away from me. His last arrow was notched in his bow.

This is the point when Michael makes the decision that the bridge has to be destroyed, figures out how to destroy it, and basically orders Percy to do it. I've got a whole other argument about how Michael is the reason Olympus didn't fall that first night of the siege, but at this point I think it's blatantly obvious that the only thing Michael is thinking about is protecting his siblings. Why else would he put himself (tiny archer who should never, ever, be on the front lines - which is hinted at by the fact he still seeks out as high a ground as he can get aka the cables) as the rear guard, the barrier between an entire army and his fleeing siblings?

He's protecting his siblings - he's guarding their backs as they flee to safety and he's finding a way to stop them from being pursued, even if it kills him in the process. It's clearly the right decision to him, the only decision he thinks he can take - and it's textbook fatal flaw.

But before I settle on that, there's one more I want to talk about, which is really an extension of protectiveness, and that's Love.

I'll admit that love always feels like a bit of a cheat to me as a fatal flaw - it's a bit of a catch-all, in that if you argue hard enough you can pull back almost any character to love in some way (which is why Aphrodite is such an underrated yet powerful goddess), and it's nowhere near as obvious for Michael as it is for Apollo and Nico (yes I know what Bianca said, but consider: she didn't know what she was talking about. Nico's fatal flaw is a whole other meta, though), but I think it fills in a few gaps that protectiveness leaves a little open.

There's something that gets overlooked a lot when Michael gets discussed, especially the chariot feud, despite the fact that Percy outright states it.

Michael had taken over the Apollo cabin after Lee Fletcher died in battle last summer.

No sugar-coating, no forgetting about a background character that got all of two pre-death appearances - Lee was killed in battle, and Michael was the one that took over the cabin from him.

We never get any canon information on Michael and Lee's relationship, but obviously they knew each other well, given that Michael's the next most senior kid - and isn't that the kicker. Because this line tells us one very important thing: Michael had to step into his big brother's suddenly-vacated shoes in the immediate aftermath of a battle, with no time to grieve.

We even have a comparison to make right in that same scene:

Even Jake Mason, the hastily appointed new counselor from Hephaestus, managed a faint smile.

Jake's also been shoved into the same role, a role we later find out he never wanted and never recovered from - big brother's dead, your turn to step up and lead the cabin in war. Most of the counsellors are laughing but all Jake can do is a faint smile. He's not okay, and you wouldn't expect him to be - and in The Lost Hero he's even more blatant about the fact that he's not okay (same as Will, in fact) - so, clearly, Michael is not okay, either.

The chariot feud is a whole mess of emotions - anger, pride and stubbornness are ones I've already covered - but I never see anyone talk about grief, and how Michael's been forced to lead a cabin in the wake of the death of his older sibling (the first wartime promotion, really - the Stolls situation isn't quite the same), and how he has to be at least somewhat off-balance, because grief is a tricky little thing and there's no way it hasn't got its nasty little claws in Michael, and that only a few scant months - a year at most - after Lee's death, it's still very, very raw.

And there's a strong correlation between love and grief. "What is grief but love perservering?" "Grief is the price we pay for love" - there's a neverending list of sayings about grief and love.

Then there's the bridge. There's Michael putting Austin and Kayla right at the back, setting traps but a long way back from the front line. There's the way he knew that without the Ares cabin they weren't going to win so he surrendered the chariot in the hopes of getting the front line fighters to join in - the ones that will stand between the archers and the enemy, between his siblings and the enemy. There's, again, the way he stood his ground as a barrier between Kronos and his army and his siblings, even though if Percy hadn't destroyed the bridge he would've been overrun and killed (and he was in such a precarious position that breaking the bridge... well, we know what happened or do we).

But also there's the fact that Michael was fighting at all. The fact that Michael wanted to fight - when Percy gives him the opportunity to take the fight to Kronos, to fight back rather than just numbly defending the bridge/Manhattan/Olympus, Michael seizes it.

His ferrety face was smeared with soot and his quiver was almost empty, but he was smiling like he was having a great time.

"That was my last sonic arrow," Michael said. "A gift from your dad?" I asked. "God of music?" Michael grinned wickedly.

I followed with the Apollo campers at my heels. "Yes!" yelled Michael Yew. "That's what I'm talking about!"

He's right there on the front line, it's so obvious that he's there because he wants to be, because he believes in their cause. Because he loves Apollo.

It's never said in so many words (although we know Apollo has interacted with Michael because he's given him those sonic arrows), but it's there in Michael's actions, in how he never falters in the pro-god side of the war despite losing sibling after sibling after sibling to it - Michael has to love Apollo for anything else to make sense.

It's his siblings he sacrifices himself for, but it's his father he chose to fight for. And it's both that he died for.

If that's not a fatal flaw in action, what is?

[thedawningofthehour]

JUSt needed to tell you that thinking about "Profile in Quicksilver" got me through the day 💕💕💕

I also love how you incorporate worldbuilding details seamlessly into the narrative without being overwhelming! I love reading Gale & Draxum talking! Do u have any religion/traditions/custom headcanons that didn't show up in the fic (yet)?

thank you so much for writing!!!

Thank you! I do try to avoid lore dumps, even if they can be interesting at times. Ideally, people won't realize they're being lore dumped on. It's like, in a dance when you transition to a different blocking, ideally the audience shouldn't even notice you're transitioning, it should just feel like part of the choreography.

And OH FUCKING BOY DO I. Thinking about the background of the Hidden City and the Yokai as a whole has been so much fun. Making it fit with the lore we see in the show and the actual history of New York City has been so much fun-like, it's not that there happens to be a giant monster city under NYC, NYC became NYC because there was a giant monster city already there. And that's why NYC is Like That. Why are all the dark armor pieces in New York? Because that's where most magic is now, magical beings were driven out from everywhere else.

As far as religion, I've been keeping them pretty secular? Mostly because that's just an aspect I don't feel really jives with TMNT. I have a scene later on where Leo and Mikey attend church with April and her parents, but it's more out of curiosity than any real desire to take up religion. They see it as more of a cool cultural thing that an actual system of beliefs. One of the main things I can remember right now is Leo bitching about the smell of incense.

In the background, I think of the Yokai as following a lot of pagan religions. These people haven't been directly colonized or conquered (or more accurately, were ethnically cleansed instead of being colonized or conquered) so Christianity and Islam are much less common. Probably the same with some other religions that spread due to conquest, but I'm not...entirely sure what those religions would be. (Hellenism? Zoroastrianism? Taoism? Do those fit? I'm singling out Abrahamic religions because those are the most common currently) Also Christianity and Islam are pretty young religions. I haven't made a definite timeline, but I'm leaning towards most Yokai communities being established more than 2000 years ago. Leo mentioned in the Christmas chapter that there were a lot of bright reds and lights down in the Hidden City-pretty much everyone has a winter solstice holiday, so officially they're celebrating the solstice instead of any one religious holiday, and everyone's kind of free to celebrate however they want. Not a lot goes down in December, actually. Schools have most of the month off, a lot of workplaces cut their hours or just straight shut up for a few weeks, most people are partying and spending time with family. It's basically like their summer vacation.

Oh! One thing I will probably work in at some point, but the last of the Yokai migrations happened during WW1. The few remaining exclaves in the human world (like the one in Chongqing, where Tigerclaw was living) basically went "fuck it" and packed up shop, even in places where there was no fighting. It was the nail that drove home that they couldn't exist alongside humans, that even if they weren't warring with the humans themselves they would still get roped into human conflicts, and eventually they would be killed off.

And the thing is, up until recently, the Hidden City was still rather closed off from the human world, despite living underneath NYC. You have to get government approval to go topside, so most people were living their entire lives underground without ever stepping foot in NYC proper. It was really with the invention of television and then the internet that bridged the gap from the Yokai's side, and both those things took a lot longer for the Yokai to adopt. So a lot of human stuff that happened from the 1910s to around 1970s-1980s era didn't get a lot of attention down there.

Like. They know WWII happened. Objectively. By that I mean they knew shit was going down, so the Heads pulled down just about everyone who worked up top and they all just bunkered down for several years until they realized the war was over. It was an annoyance for most of them, a period of time where they couldn't get certain products or had their business disrupted because somewhere in their chain was a guy who worked at a human company and he can't do that now. They were able to read about what happened afterwards and knew vaguely of all the genocides, but most of them didn't look into it very hard. Just more humans bent on killing each other, what else was new? Most of them will still refer to WW1 as 'The Great War.'

And I thought of this scene before October, and I feel like I probably shouldn't use it now due to how politically charged it is, but originally I wanted to include a scene where someone mentions Israel and Josh is really confused because the last time he was living aboveground that area was controlled by the Ottomans and was officially part of Syria. Maybe independent Jerusalem, but why would it be Israel? Bella has to pull him aside and explain. He knew about the Holocaust, but he had no knowledge of Mandatory Palestine or the Nakba. The entire time she's talking and his eyes are just bugging out.

On the plus side, India is no longer under British rule, so he was probably pretty happy to find that out?

I had like several other things I rambled about and deleted because they were going entirely off the rails, I might post those at another time. I've thought about this world way too much and I've written far too little down. (also sorry it took so long to respond! I knew I'd go crazy and wanted to get the chapter done first, and the chapter took longer than I expected lol)

[hephaestuscrew]

I want to talk about this moment between Lovelace and Minkowski immediately after Cutter dies:

Lovelace GASPS in relief. Both women COLLAPSE, wounded, at the end of their ropes. LOVELACE Nice... shot. MINKOWSKI Couldn't... have done it... without you, Captain. You all right? LOVELACE No. You? MINKOWSKI No, I... I... yeah... LOVELACE Stay with me, Minkowski. MINKOWSKI Yeah... We're almost through this. We just... need to... get Eiffel... And off of their attempts to hold onto consciousness, we -

Firstly, the acting of this scene is incredible. (The timestamp is 1:42:26 if you want to listen back.) I'm in awe of the way Emma Sherr-Ziarko and Ceilia Lynn-Jacobs convey the sense of pain and exhaustion and relief and trying to hold onto consciousness. The kind of damage they've undergone has been very different - Minkowski bleeding out from her gunshot wound, Lovelace recovering from the external control that caused her to inflict that gunshot wound. But the way these experiences manifest in their breathless pained voices is pretty similar. There's almost a kind of unity in that.

I love that the first thing Minkowski and Lovelace do after Cutter dies, even as they are struggling to speak, is to acknowledge each other's contribution to this moment.

"Nice shot" feels like a comment more suited to congratulating someone on doing well at a shooting range than as a response to a friend successfully harpooning their evil boss. There's a casualness to it as a phrase that feels almost humourous in this context, but it also reflects the fact that there isn't really an established thing to say in a situation like this. (More below the cut)

Minkowski could have just taken full credit here - after all she's the one who fired the killing shot - but she doesn't. It reflects the ethos of this show that neither Cutter nor Pryce, the major antagonists, is defeated by a single protagonist alone, and that the protagonists themselves are aware of that.

This scene is an example of a kind of exchange we get a few times throughout the show, where a character asks another character if they are okay and the answer is a clear no. There's an conversation like this between Eiffel and Minkowski in Ep12 (EIFFEL: You okay, Commander? / MINKOWSKI : No, Eiffel. My second in command just betrayed me and tried really, really hard to murder both us. I’m pretty damn far from “okay.”), and between Hera and Minkowski in Ep29 (HERA: Commander? Are you okay? / MINKOWSKI: No. You? / HERA: No. But I will be.), and between Eiffel and Hera in Ep41 (EIFFEL: Are you okay now? / HERA: No, Officer Eiffel. I'm not. But... I'm going to be.) I think I've said this before in tags on a post, but there's something about that type of exchange that fits the tone of this show so well to me. Of course none of these characters are all right, not with what they've been through. But the asking is still important, because of the care these characters have for each other. And the honest answer is still important, because this is a show partly about communication and because sometimes the awful things need to be acknowledged.

I should probably also say that there are also plenty of instances in Wolf 359 where people falsely claim to be fine in response to questions like this. There's an awful lot of emotional repression and compartmentalising on that space station. Which makes it more significant when characters are honest about not being okay.

In this scene, Minkowski and Lovelace don't need to waste words on saying why they aren't all right. I picture them both looking down at Minkowski's wound as she speaks here. And they laugh, or as well as they can do in their current condition, at how absurdly obvious it is that they aren't okay. Maybe that attempt at laughter is a way to keep going. And they are both so determined to keep going.

Lovelace tells Minkowski "stay with me", even though Lovelace is struggling to remain conscious herself. There's something so tender about that to me, and it's particularly heart-wrenching given that Lovelace was forced against her will to fire the bullet that wounded Minkowski.

When Minkowski says "We're almost through this", it feels like a call back to her conversation with Eiffel earlier in this episode, when he said "We're almost through. Just one more day, and then we're done." The "this" in "almost through this" somehow holds everything that they've been through on the Hephaestus. The repeated sense that this is the last confrontation that they will face on that station is perfect for a finale. But there's also something very emotionally heavy about that finality, especially when spoken by a woman who is bleeding out from a gunshot wound. And yet through her exhaustion and her pain, Minkowski expresses hope that they will get "through this", that they are "almost" on the other side of the whole nightmare.

Neither Minkowski nor Lovelace even consider the option of not going to look for Eiffel (and Hera). It would have been perfectly reasonable for them to have gone back to the Urania to try to patch Minkowski up and to wait to see if Eiffel and Hera were able to join them. But these characters would never do that.

They go to look for Eiffel even though Minkowski has been shot and Lovelace has been subject to horrific external control. They go to look for Eiffel even though both of them are "at the end of their ropes" and struggling to hold onto consciousness. They go to look for Eiffel even though waiting on the Urania was the plan they'd agreed upon with Hera. They go to look for Eiffel even though, for all they know, Eiffel and Hera might have the situation completely handled, or might even already be safely on the Urania. They go to look for Eiffel (and Hera) because only once they are all together can they consider themselves "through this".

[majorbaby]

commander pierce is a low point for MASH, my personal least favourite episode and here's why:

Regardless of your position on the framing, which i'll get to later, the writing is weak.

It sets Potter up as being a competent, strong leader and Hawkeye learn that being in charge of the base isn't as easy as it looks (which makes no sense for Hawkeye but again, I'll come to that) but then when we cut to Potter at the very important conference he's meant to be attending with some other army brass, we see them getting drunk and later on, just chilling together. He only gets up to leave said conference when he catches Radar's drift that the camp is falling apart without him - we're to assume he would've just continued fucking around until whenever he felt like returning.

These scenes align well with MASH's earlier anti-establishment beat, but it doesn't fit in this pro-establishment episode. Is Potter a responsible leader who is simply misunderstood by the rebellious, immature Hawkeye, or is Potter shirking his duties while the camp suffers? Both, it would seem.

I enjoy Margaret's little mock-salute to Hawkeye because 1) he wouldn't care to be properly saluted (except ?? this episode seems to want me to believe otherwise lol) 2) when are you ever going to see her do a mock-salute otherwise.

But here's the thing, I dislike when this show muddles Hawkeye's distaste for the military with Hawkeye's misogyny. Hawkeye can be anti-establishment and even give her (and other pro-army characters) a hard time without going so far as to sexually harass her. Frank Burns was invaluable as that other "pro-army character", taking the brunt of Hawkeye and Trapper's ire.

Speaking of Frank (affectionate), in addition to saluting him, Margaret adds mockingly, "If only Frank Burns could see you now". He can't, because this episode can't achieve its goal if Frank is there to either applaud Hawkeye's efforts or laugh as he struggles. It would kill the episode's suggestion to the audience that military leadership is admirable or desirable.

BJ's "I don't know Commander Pierce! And I don't know if I want to!" makes me roll my eyes hardcore. I'm not sure if he's annoyed at how Hawkeye is acting or if he's annoyed specifically that he's being a bad leader. Seems like a little bit of both, but my read on BJ based on how he's written thus far and going forward is that it's more likely his pride is hurt when Hawkeye yells at him.

On that note, I could maybe buy that because Hawkeye is so stressed out, he accuses BJ of trying to "play hero" but I don't genuinely believe that Hawkeye's opinion of BJ could be so low or that he doesn't see how BJ dropping everything to save a life isn't, as BJ says, exactly what Hawkeye would've done in his shoes. We've watched Hawkeye do that on multiple occasions.

Or at least if Hawkeye is to be upset at BJ, then let it be for a believable reason, like, hey, BJ, what about all these other patients that came in after you left (altho even then, Radar points out that BJ couldn't have known it would happen), hey BJ, we lost 10 other guys while you were out saving one.

Instead, incredibly, Hawkeye complains that BJ left him holding the bag, and later that he undermined his authority. Generally I'm left with the impression that Hawkeye is at least a little upset that BJ thinks he didn't do a good job as a CO, when Hawkeye didn't even care for the title "Chief Surgeon" at one point, which more accurately describes his role at the camp and could very well describe a role he might eventually have as a civilian someday. To say nothing of s03e03 Officer of the Day which is the episode you should watch if you want to see Hawkeye Pierce in charge instead of a guy who only looks like Hawkeye Pierce in charge.

I said I would come to the framing: it sucks! I guess if you want to see Hawkeye give a shit about having military authority, this episode is for you, but it's hard for me to imagine that any audience member was holding their breath waiting for it to happen.