#this was a lot so if u have questions about certain bits send an ask.....

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : BF!Lee Felix x F!Reader TW : pregnancy ; no childbirth (yet?) ; mention of an abortion ; Felix is a POS ; angst no fluff ; Word Count : 2.5k Request : @lovesunshinefelix : can I get an angsty felix request diff from his pregnancy series wherein felix is an absolute fucking asshole and left the reader when he found out they were pregnant, u decide what happens next surprise me AN : I hope that you are thoroughly surprised by this, I hate making him the asshole honestly, but at the same time I absolutely love it!! I just love writing stuff like this!! I hope you love this girlie, this is for you!

Double pink lines showed on all six white tests that were evenly spaced along the bathroom counter. They were dark, they were undeniable, not a single discrepancy is any of them. It was a fact now… You were pregnant, and your boyfriend… he was on tour, for the next three months. 

It’s not that you didn’t want to tell him, it was quite the opposite actually. You wanted him to know, but he was such a sweetheart, he cared about you so much, you knew that if you told him during the tour, he’d drop everything just to come home and be with you. It was the early stages of your pregnancy, and you knew that for now, you’d be able to handle whatever was thrown your way, whether it be symptoms or doctors appointments. It was easier to hide right now too, you didn’t have to worry about him catching on. If he questioned why you hid it from him, your main reason was that you weren’t sure if the pregnancy was 100% yet. The first 12 weeks were the scariest and the most uncertain, and you didn’t want him or yourself to get too excited, especially if it ended in a miscarriage. It was a valid reason, and it had you keeping your mouth shut until he came through the front door. 

Unexpected and unplanned was the announcement at your 12 week ultrasound, that not only were you pregnant, but you were having twins. Two babies, and you rightfully panicked for a second because that was… It wasn’t planned to even get pregnant with one, let alone two, but you knew that with Felix by your side, you’d be able to get through it. He was the ray of sunshine that you held tightly onto whenever things seemed to be a little too hectic, or when things started to feel like a little too much. 

As the weeks passed on though, you started to just… Get used to the fact that you were carrying two children, and maybe it was a maternal instinct, maybe it was the fact that they were his children, or maybe it was a bit of both that had you growing excited even at the thought of having this little family with him. You couldn’t wait to tell Felix, you couldn’t wait to officially start this journey into parenthood with him by your side. It would only be a couple more days until he came back home, and now you were giddily counting down the days to tell him the exciting news. 

“I think we caught every single red light on the way here.” Felix exclaimed as he trodded through the front door, his suitcases parked off to the side as he kicked off his shoes. “Hey, angel… You look beautiful as always. Did ya miss me?” He asked, the irritation that had initially coated his words seemed to be shaken off as soon as he laid eyes on you sitting on the couch. Your smile was bright as you watched him, anticipation building in your stomach and sending a shiver through you. 

“Of course I did. I always miss you.” You chimed from the couch, making sure to keep yourself covered with the thick throw blanket so that he wouldn’t see your stomach. It had grown quite a lot already, something that was both shocking, but also expected considering you were having twins. “How was the flight?” You wanted to make small talk, just so he could get settled back in before you dropped the news on him, although you were quite certain he’d take it well, you just didn’t want to shock him immediately. 

He rolled his shoulders and his neck, stretching his arms up as he walked into the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge to grab a bottle of water before making his way to the couch to drop down beside you. “It was good, not as comfortable as being able to sit or lay beside you, but it was bearable. Changbin didn’t snore too loud behind me, so I got a good amount of sleep so I’d be well rested when I got home to you.” His arm draped over your shoulder as he leaned against you. “I couldn’t wait to see you again.” 

Now was your chance, he was in a good mood, he was rested, he was close to you, now all you had to do was tell him. “I couldn’t wait to see you either… I’ve got some pretty big news to tell you.” Even though you were almost 100% certain that he’d take it well, you couldn’t help the jitters that coursed through your body causing your voice to tremble with your nerves. His eyes widened as well as his smile, his body turning almost completely to give you his full attention before nodding to you to tell you to continue. “I’m… I’m pregnant! They're twins!” 

And while your excitement seemed to grow exponentially from telling him, his dwindled to nothing almost immediately. His smile fell and his eyes wavered, his hands pulling away from yours to fold in his lap. “You’re… Sure about this? You’ve… You’ve been to the doctors and everything for it?” He questioned, and maybe he was just nervous about getting excited too soon, so you quickly nodded, reaching out to grab his hands in an act of reassurance that everything would be okay, that everything was okay, but he moved his hands away from yours, shoving them in his pockets as he jumped up off the couch. “How far along are you?” He blurted out quite harshly, and while you were used to him apologizing almost immediately after sounding so rude, the apology never came. 

“I’m… Almost four months…” You whispered, slowly pulling back the blanket to show him the swell of your stomach, and you saw his chest rise, puffing out with the large breath that he took in. “It’s okay though… They’re okay, they’re healthy.” You once again tried to reassure him, assuming that his panic was caused by not being there when you found out. 

“I don’t care about that! I’ve got five months to figure out how the hell I’m going to juggle my job and paying child support to not just one, but two fucking kids!” He rambled, but the mention of child support had your head tilting to the side, your lips parting to question what he meant, but you couldn’t seem to find the words. “Don’t look at me like that… You know that I can’t do this. I’m too fucking young to deal with my job and two fucking kids. I didn’t want this… You threw this on me!” 

With every single word, it was like a vicious attack, and that beautiful future that you had spent the past couple weeks imagining started to spin, like a tornado, the images a whirling vortex that were sent down the drain. “I thought… I thought that you’d be happy. You always talked about having a life together… Spending forever together… Where did that go?” The sight of him rolling his eyes had your stomach tightening and your nerves kicking into overdrive. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go… This wasn’t what you had planned on at all. “I-I.. I didn’t want this either… I’m young too…” 

He scoffed, his nose crinkled into a look of disgust as his eyes flickered down to your stomach and then up to your face. “I didn’t ask you to keep them. If you would have told me sooner, I would have told you to abort it, get rid of it.” It was like a stab, a gunshot, there was bile rising in your throat at the thought of getting rid of the two little beans that had become such a big part of you, you honestly couldn’t imagine not having them in your tummy. “And don’t even try to make it seem like I’m the bad guy in this. You sprung this shit on me as soon as I got back from a fucking tour… That should have been your first sign. I mean, what did you think would happen? Everything would be sunshine and rainbows and I’d be this happy go lucky guy somehow maintaining a career where I’m constantly in the fucking spotlight, during brand sponsorships and bunch of other shit… And you just… You expect me to have time for you? For children? You’ve gotta be out of your mind.” 

And maybe you were, maybe you had lost sense of the reality of your relationship and how hard it was to actually see him, how little you spent time with him. Maybe you really were out of your mind as he had said, thinking that being pregnant would somehow bring him closer to you instead of pushing him away. “I wasn’t going to do that…” You mumbled, your hand moving down to rub over your stomach, seeming to be your own source of comfort now that Felix was clearly disgusted by you. “You don’t have to worry about anything… You don’t even have to pay child support. You’re right… I sprung this on you and… You obviously don’t want any parts of it. I’m not going to force you…” 

Letting out a humorless chuckle, he folded his arms over his chest, glaring down at you. “Oh, sure. You say that, but once it gets to be too much for you, you’ll be trying to take me to court. It’ll make front page news online and then you’ll get the pity party. I can see it now.” It was pretty eye opening to see now just how lowly he thought of you. You had been blinded by the rays of sunshine that seemed to radiate off of him whenever he was around, but it was like you had put on sunglasses, you could block those out, and now you could see who he truly was. 

“I’m not taking you to court.” You snapped, having enough of him being not just an asshole, but ruthlessly so. “You’re not the man that I thought you were, and you’re definitely not the man that I want in my children’s lives, so you don’t have to worry about me trying to force you to do anything or asking for your money. I don’t want your money, because like you said, I can see it now. All of the fans that follow you like you’re some kind of fucking god will call me a gold digger and a bunch of other awful shit, and to be quite honest, I don’t need that and neither do my kids. So once you walk out of that door, I’m done. I’m done with you and everything that has to do with you. The only part of you that I love now are the children that you gave me, the children that you don’t want.” 

Your entire body was trembling, and the tears flowed freely down your cheeks. They weren’t tears of sadness though, they were tears of anger, unable to hold back the burst of emotions that coursed through you, and unable to channel them properly. “Promise?” He snidely cracked back at you, and it was the final nail in the coffin. He wasn’t who you thought he was at all, he was nothing like the way his fans portrayed him. It was all an act, and the character that he had been playing as was gone now, revealing the true Felix that you had mistakenly fallen in love with. 

“Promise.” You retorted flatly, finally pushing yourself up off the couch and walking to the door, and with your back turned to him, you hadn’t caught the way he his jaw had dropped when finally seeing you fully, you hadn’t caught the way his fingers twitched to reach out to grab you, the way his eyes blinked a few times to snap him back to reality just a little too late. “I’ll pack your stuff up and leave it on the porch, I’ll text you when I’m all done, and then I’ll block your number and delete it so you don’t have to worry about me bothering you. You can move on with your life and your career.” You said as you grabbed the suitcases and wheeled them to the center of the entryway. “You already have some of your stuff to leave with.” You pulled open the front door, moving over to the side to give him room to walk out. “Bye.” 

The damage was already done, and it’s not like you’d believe him or even be willing to listen if he tried to go back on his words right now, so he kept up with the act, sneering at you as he grabbed his luggage and wheeled it out the front door, stepping out onto the porch. Maybe if he turned around one last time and you saw the look of regret in his eyes you’d let him talk, but the door was already being slammed shut, and the locks clicked, and he knew that you were probably already breaking down on the couch, a complete mess because of what he had said. 

There was nothing he could do now except trudge over to the side of the road, his phone gripped tightly in his shaking hands as he texted his leader, asking to be picked up. Twins… he wasn’t ready for it, he wasn’t in the right place in his life to take on that kind of responsibility… But he hadn’t even given himself a chance to try. He immediately attacked you, and maybe it was the jet lag or the stress from just coming back home and simply wanting to enjoy one evening without having something else to worry about… But none of those things were truly an excuse for what he had said or the way he behaved because you were surely more stressed than him, and now that stress had quadrupled all because of him. 

Twins… Two children, his own children, little drops of sun that were part him, and part you. You, the only person who he ever loved before, the only person he could ever see himself loving… And he ruined it. A family, one that he’d never get to spend time with, that he had so easily given up on as if it wasn’t important at all. Sons… Daughters… Maybe one of each… He’d never get to meet them though. He’d never get to experience that feeling of holding his children for the first time or watching them take their first steps. He’d never feel that excitement as he bore witness to each and every milestone. He gave all of that up the second he started his rant, the second those thoughts weasel’d their way into his mind and were actually spoken. Maybe he’d watch from a distance, living the life that he turned his back on through pictures or videos that you hopefully might post online. It wouldn’t be the same… But it was all he would have, all he would ever have. 

Permanent TL : @whatudowhennooneseesyou @duchesskaren @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lovesunshinefelix @moon0fthenight @kurolils @maruskz @hello-2-u-from-me

@mrswolfiechan @bunnychangbin @his-angell @if-spearb @yomomma104 @lanatheawesome @facelesswrittes @grannyindehouse @cutie-wooyo @felixmainacc

[morgana-larkin]

Me again lol I was wondering if u could do Melissa x reader where reader is autistic and has an autistic meltdown or struggles with change in routine and Melissa helps her (lol sorry I keep requesting fics but your writing is sooooo good I can’t get enough and as always no pressure and look after yourself 🫶)

Hey, thank you for the prompt! I literally just moved 2 weeks ago from one end of the city I live in to the other so I wrote that reader moves since its really relatable to me right now. And feel free to send as many prompts as you want, it’s not a problem😉. Hope you like it!

On another note, I was going to post this tomorrow but kept seeing people like my other fics so I figured I could just post it now lol. Also I can’t believe how many people are liking my fics! Especially ‘her poco sole’ , that was the one I really didn’t know if people were gonna like and it’s the most liked one which surprised me. I’m gonna try to get another one shot to a prompt I got a few hours ago and the next chapter of Worth It. I do have my acting workshop tomorrow and a role on Sunday but I’m gonna try!

Overwhelmed

Warnings: reader has a meltdown

Words: 3.1k

You’ve always done things a certain way, you planned your day ahead of time and you don’t like changes.

You got diagnosed with Autism when you were 13. Your parents knew nothing about it but were super supportive and researched it to better help you. They also liked to ask you questions about what you prefer to help you even further.

You all realised that routine is very important for you, and if something changed then you would need a bit of time to calm down from your mini freak out. If it was small changes like having to wear a different shirt or a friend wants to meet up at a different store, those you can deal with. But big ones like if a friend you were going to hang out with cancelled last minute or a family member dropped by unexpectedly or you moved.

That last one you didn’t experience a lot thankfully. You only remember moving once, and it was moving out of your parents place and in with a friend you’ve known since first grade. The next time would be when you moved in with Melissa.

You got accepted for a job to be a teacher's aide at Abbott Elementary. You walked in at 7:30 and went to the principal's office to get your badge and to know who the teacher you’ll be helping is. You liked being a teacher's aide instead of the teacher. If there was any big changes to the day then the teacher mostly has to deal with it and you just do what you’re told.

You got introduced to the principal, you didn’t understand how she got the job with how she acts but you don’t ask, it’s your first day after all.

« so the teacher that you’ll be an aide for, her name is Melissa Schemmenti. I’ll bring you to meet her now, she’s in the break room. » Ava said and you nodded your head. You followed her there and walked in the room and all the teachers there looked up and looked at you and you blushed a bit. You got nervous when you felt put in the spotlight with a bunch of people you don’t know. « Hey Melissa, your new aide is here. ». She told someone and when Ava moved out of the way your breath caught in your throat. A pair or beautiful green eyes were on you and they belonged to the most beautiful woman you’ve ever met. And then it hit you, she’s the teacher you’ll be helping. You’re either really lucky or really fucked. You then remember that you should introduce yourself.

« Hi, my name is y/n y/l/n. You must be Melissa Schemmenti. » you tell her and she nods then looks at Ava.

« She better be better than the last one Coleman. » she says and you look confused. She already had an aide that she didn’t like?

« I don’t know, I didn’t pick her, the school board did. » Ava says then leaves. And you just stand there not knowing what to do until one of the teachers stands up to greet you.

« Hi y/n it’s nice to meet you, my name is Janine Teagues. I’m a second grade teacher. » she says and is practically bouncing in your face and you lean back a bit, a bit surprised by her energy and enthusiasm.

« Hi. » is all you say, you never really know what to say to someone new.

« Alright kid, follow me, I’ll bring you to the classroom. » Melissa says as she gets up and you nod as you follow her out of the break room.

You stare at her little bit, you don’t know what to think of her yet other than she’s stunning and you oddly feel safe around her. Which is different, it takes you a few times of getting to know someone before you even feel comfortable. But it seems this woman has the power to make herself go from being a complete stranger to all the way to feeling safe around her.

« You’re really quiet. » she says to you as she bends down a bit to unlock her door with her key around her neck.

« Sorry, just nervous. » You tell her and she motions for you to go into the room.

« I didn’t say it was a bad thing, definitely a nice change from the last one. » she says and you want to be better than the last one so you can’t help but ask her.

« What did the last one do that you didn’t like? Just so I don’t repeat it. » You tell her and she looks at you curiously.

« She disrupted the class more that the students did. She made it worse more than she helped. » she simply said and leaned against her desk and folded her arms. And that’s when you get a look at what she’s wearing. Black leggings with a pink top and black leather jacket. Oh. You always found a girl who wears a leather jacket hot. « Do I scare you? » she says as you haven’t said anything.

« I don’t know you yet. I’m just nervous meeting new people and never know what to say. I’m autistic so I’m not as good with social interactions as other people. » You tell her and she nods.

« Well this is the classroom. I have a split class. » she says as she takes a seat on her desk and puts her hands together on her lap. « I have 20 second graders and 10 third graders. »

« Oh fuck. » you say and she laughs.

« That was my reaction too. Do you have any questions? »

« Um » you say and think about it. « What will you be needing me to do? »

« Just stuff to help really. Like photocopy papers, hand out tests, help them with some class work. Might need you to sometimes teach the third graders a quick lesson in the back of the classroom. » she says and you nod. This sounds like it’ll be good, you think. « any other questions? » she asks.

« Just mostly wondering how you’ve been doing this mostly by yourself. You must be a hell of a teacher to have 30 students in your class. » You tell her and she smiles.

« It was hard at first I’ll admit. I even punched the head of a cardboard samurai right off before I asked for an aide. » she says and you laugh.

The two of you talk for a bit before students start arriving. Melissa has you helping the third graders with some work while she teaches currency to the second graders. She gets you to grade some tests for most of the morning then has you help bring them to the cafeteria at lunch.

« You were a great help today so far, keep up the great work. » she says with a smile and you beam.

A month goes by with you helping Melissa and she’s less stressed now that she has an aide that’s helpful and you’ve settled in nicely with the class and some of the teachers. Until you get home from work one day and your friend tells you that her work transferred her to another city and she’s moving in a month and your smile falls. You can’t afford the rent by yourself, that means moving.

The next day at school, Melissa can tell something is bothering you since you seem distracted and in your head a lot. During her prep period, she asks you about it.

« Hey, what’s going on with you? You seem distracted this morning. » she asks you and you look up at her.

« I’m sorry, just a lot on my mind. » you tell her.

« You wanna talk about it? » she asks and you shake your head, you don’t really want to put it on her.

« You sure? »

You sigh and put your chin on your hands. « Just found out last night that I have a month to find a new place and move. And I looked a bit last night and there’s nothing I can afford by myself and very few people are looking for roommates. » you tell her and she doesn’t say anything. « Sorry, I didn’t want to bother you with my problems. » you tell her and she shakes her head.

« I offered remember. And plus I was actually going to start looking for a roommate. » she says and you look at her. « I have a spare room I’m not using and wouldn’t mind some extra cash. » you look at her confused, wondering if she’s saying what you think she is. « I guess what I’m saying is , if you need a place, you can move in with me. »

And that’s how you got here. The day you’re moving in with Melissa. And you’ve been freaking out about it for a week, your friend has been trying to help you pack and comfort you the best she can. You move your things into her place all day, you don’t have a lot of time to think about it until you’re standing in your new room, and it hits you all at once. Everything changed, different room, different house, different roommate, different end of the city. It all changed and you crumble to the ground and bring your legs to your chest and hug your legs and start rocking to comfort yourself.

« Hey y/n I made dinner and was wondering if… » Melissa comes by your room and sees you. « Y/n? You ok? »

You don’t say anything, you feel like you can’t talk right now, it’s all too much. You end up shaking your head and she comes over and sits on the ground next to you. She doesn’t say anything, she just wraps her arms around you and brings you in for a hug. And that’s when you break and start crying and Melissa rubs your back in a circular motion. The repetitive movement and the physical contact of someone you know soothes you. After a minute you pull back and wipe your tears off. And she just sits next to you for a few minutes, letting you calm down « Thank you. » you tell her when you feel like you can talk again.

« Not a problem. I know it can get overwhelming. But I can help you settle in so it’s not so scary. You like knowing about things right? » she asks and you nod. « Ok, well today I can show you around the house so you know where things are. And then tomorrow I can show you where I shop and you can decide if you like it or not. Then I can show you all the best places to get a bite to eat around here and anything else you want to know. » she offers.

« You’d do that for me? » you ask and she nods. « Why? »

She shrugs. « Because you’re a good person who just needs a bit of help. » she says and you smile at her.

« You know at first, I was a bit scared of you. » You tell her and she laughs.

« I knew it! » she says with a smile.

« But after getting to know you, and seeing how you are with the students, I realised how much of a softie you are. » You tell her and she glares at you.

« Don’t go telling anyone that! » she tells you sternly. And you put your hands up in surrender.

« Don’t worry I won’t, I know you got a reputation to keep. » You joke with her. « was there something you needed btw? » You ask her, remembering she was asking you something before she saw you on the floor.

« Just that I made dinner and wanted to know if you wanted something. I always make a lot. » she says and you beam. You’ve heard great things about her cooking but haven’t had any yet.

Turns out what they say about her cooking didn’t live up to how great she actually was. It was better than you thought. She did give you a tour of the house after supper and you felt a little better. You ended up watching tv with her and she stayed right beside you so that your arms are touching. She knows that close proximity with someone you know helps you calm down and process things.

For the next week you barely say anything. You’re more quiet than normal and you hide in your own head, in your own little fantasy world that you have complete control of.

Melissa has no idea what’s going on with you, and that’s when she starts actually looking up autism and how it affects the person and how they act and how to help them. She sees that if they’re dealing with a lot of big changes, they get overwhelmed and they either repress it and pull away from people or have a meltdown, it also says that they can repress it then have a meltdown. And that’s exactly what happens with you. Melissa was prepared in case it happened, it’s just how it happened and what you end up doing after, that shocked her.

You came home after going grocery shopping and slammed the front door. Melissa was dusting her table with all her pictures when you came in.

« You alright there sunshine? » Melissa joked and you glared at her. Melissa came from an Italian family, so glares didn’t even faze her. She went and leaned on the side of the couch and crossed her arms.

« I’m fine, just they didn’t have some things I wanted so I just walked out. » You said, trying to take your jacket off but it got stuck when trying to take your arms out and you let out a huff.

« Need help? » she asks with a raised eyebrow.

« No. » you snap and continue to struggle. « Ugh why is nothing going right! » Melissa walks over to you and pulls at the arm of the jacket and you’re able to take it off. You slam your jacket on the ground « stupid jacket! Stupid grocery store! » You half scream out.

« Hey it’s alright » she tells you and puts a hand on your shoulder trying to comfort you.

You gasp and turn to her with a glare before shrugging her hand off. « Don’t touch me. » you snap at her then try to calm yourself down. Melissa tries again, knowing that physical contact helps you and read that doing things that helps that autistic person calm down helps during a meltdown. « I said don’t touch me! » you tell her and back up to get away. You end up backing into a wall and you feel like everything is too much and you grab your hair and start freaking out.

« Y/n it’s alright » she says and you barely hear her. She wraps her arms around you from behind you and you scream at her to let you go and try to push her off but she hangs on. And then you start crying and fall to the ground and she follows you, still hugging you. You put one of your hands on her hand and lean into her. « it’s ok y/n, you’re ok. » she says, still hugging you from behind. She rests her chin on your shoulder and you relax more into her. After about a minute you sit up a bit and she removes her head from you. You turn around and in a wave of confidence, you lean in and kiss her.

She kisses you back and she feels you smile. You pull back and look into her eyes. « R u ok y/n? » she asks you after it seems you’ve calmed down.

« I think mostly, it’s still a bit hard for me, I’m still processing everything. » You tell her and she gets an idea. She helps you back and tells you to stay there for a second. She goes over and turns on her Bluetooth speaker and it connects to her phone. She opens her Spotify and clicks on a song. The song starts playing through the speaker and you instantly recognize the song, it’s the Macarena.

« Come on I’m sure you know the moves. » she tells you when you raise your eyebrows at her. She pulls you away from the wall and goes behind you and moves your arms to the music with the moves. You start laughing at her goofiness but eventually you start getting into it and she lets your arms go and does the moves with you. At the end of the song, your both laughing and having a great time, then the next starts playing and it’s ‘can you feel the love tonight’ from the lion king. Melissa just goes with it and holds out a hand for you to take. « May I have this dance? » she asks you and you giggle and you take her hand.

She brings you close to her and puts one hand on your shoulder and moves her hand in yours to the proper position and you put your hand on her waist. She starts doing the waltz with you and you’re surprised. She ends up being a really good dancer.

« You seem surprised. » she tells you.

« I am, I’m wondering if there’s something you can’t do. » you tell her and she laughs. « I’m being serious, you’re an amazing teacher, your meals taste like heaven, you can waltz really well. I wouldn’t be surprised if you knew a second language. » you tell her as a joke but looks at you with a smile.

« Conosco Italian. » she says and you look at her. « That means I know Italian. »

« I was actually joking but at this point I’m not surprised. » You tell her and she giggles. The song ends but both of you don’t pull away. « thank you btw. You’ve helped me so much. » You tell her with a smile and she smiles back at you.

« of course mia carina. » she tells you.

« Ok now you’re just showing off. » You joke and she laughs. Then she puts a hand around your neck and kisses you and you kiss her back. It’ll take time but Melissa is willing to help you with all the changes and to make her house feel like home to you.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

If you want to be added then let me know!

[rainbowsky]

Dear Rainbow Sky,

I was the one who asked u the earlier question anonymously. I wish to send my heartfelt thanks to you for taking time to respond so fast even though I posted anonymously. Sorry for the long essay.

I did not know what is the right etiquette as I am new to tumblr (i created this account just so I could read your blog which I really enjoyed reading.) and IRL, I am just a middle aged asian lady who is not too internet savvy, stumbling into this, and honestly a little confused why I feel so emotionally invested in this, as you say!! (Sorry new turtle)

Wishing you a great weekend ahead! My thanks once again!!

🙏🙏🙏

This is in reference to a previous post.

Hi new turtle! 💛🐢💛

I have some advice for new turtles, so let's dig in.

Thank you for writing back, kaijumama, it is nice to be able to put a name to the message! No need to apologize or feel you've done anything wrong. I know I can come off as brusque sometimes, but I've gotten a lot of a certain tone of message lately and I'm trying to set some boundaries around what ends up in my inbox.

Anyway, I know what it feels like to be emotionally invested in GG and DD and their relationship. It is a difficult thing to explain to anyone who's outside of the fandom, but it's a feeling and a connection that builds, and sometimes it can become very emotional or feel very personal.

All I can tell you is, take your time, relax and find a region of turtledom that feels soothing and warm, and everything will rapidly improve for you.

When you are a new turtle it can feel like everything has a lot of significance. It can feel like everything is either proof they are together or proof they've broken up or never were together in the first place. I think a lot of turtles go through that phase and it can be a roller coaster.

It's important for all new turtles to realize that if a claim or narrative you're being told about GGDD or something relating to them makes you feel horrible about yourself and about being a turtle, chances are really good that it was intentionally crafted for that purpose by haters. Avoid, block and ignore.

Usually that experience becomes a lot more stable and relaxed as time goes by and you become more familiar with the fandom and with the various ideas and theories and bits of information we base our beliefs on, but getting there can be a struggle emotionally for people who are very invested.

All I can say to that is:

Enjoy GG and DD and their works. That should always be our main focus as fans. It has the added bonus of being very enjoyable and enriching to our lives.

Take your time to get to know other turtles, get familiar with relevant social media accounts, and get to know the core turtle content and theories.

Avoid and ignore anti messages (and if a message makes you feel like a bad person or like being a turtle is bad, it's an anti message - yes, even if it seems friendly. A lot of antis phrase things in a concen-trolling kind of way to get under people's radar). Block and ignore.

Exercise patience and restraint around new information and claims that seem unsettling. Don't immediately freak out. Take your time to learn more. Trust that if experienced turtles are not freaking out, tearing out their hair and crying, then everything's probably just fine. It's so easy to get sucked into despair and confusion as a new turtle because you don't yet know the significance or lack of significance of something. Experienced turtles do.

Use your feelings as a signal about where you should be. If you feel really bad and stressed out, you're probably in the wrong area or among the wrong people. Find a corner of turtledom that makes you happy and avoid the ones that don't.

Stick to turtle spaces at all times - especially if you're a new turtle. This is for your own well-being, so you won't get misled and abused by antis. That means staying away from all hashtags on Twitter (even bjyx and yizhan ones, because antis frequently post to those), this includes staying away from hashtags of GG and DD's individual names (staying off Twitter entirely, IMHO). Avoid all solo spaces, including GG and DD's individual supertopics and fan clubs. More on that here.

Do not engage in fan wars or arguments, especially if you're new. You'll get eaten alive, and nothing will be resolved. You're not going to change anyone's mind.

Understand that we will likely never be directly, clearly acknowledged or thanked by GG and DD as fans in a clear, unambiguous way. Quite the contrary, GG and DD will sometimes have to distance themselves from us for the good of their careers and to mollify solos. GG and DD give us what they can, but there's never going to be a grand public declaration of support and appreciation for us. The situation will never allow for that. GG and DD will always have to cater to solos above us, and that will always lead to solos feeling superior and being dicks to us. That's just the way things are.

Realize that part of being a turtle is being marginalized and hated. There are so many groups that will be out to get us. Homophobes, GG's solo fans, DD's solo fans, people who are against what they view as 'shipping real people' (I don't 'ship' anyone, I believe GG and DD are in a real relationship), people who think we are delusional creepy weirdos, people who are against fandom in general, people who hate celebrities and fan culture, people who hate GG and DD, people in our daily lives who 'don't get it' and feel annoyed by our fixation, etc. etc. It just goes with the territory.

Embrace uncertainty. This is not a fandom of knowns and for sures. GG and DD will almost certainly never come out and confirm their relationship. Most of the theories we have will never be confirmed or factually fully substantiated. We will likely always have to deal with a certain measure of doubt and uncertainty. That's just the nature of this fandom.

Remember turtles have shells. Build yours, because you're going to need it. Being a turtle is not for the faint of heart.

One important thing I can say to you and all new turtles:

Almost nothing we see about GG and DD will be significant to their relationship.

A lot of new turtles try to evaluate every bit of info about GG and DD through the lens of whether it proves they're together, or whether it proves they're not. In reality, almost none of the information we see will have any significance or connection to their relationship either way. Viewing things through such a lens is unnecessarily stressful and frankly a bit foolish.

They're both individuals first and foremost, so while it's nice to hunt for candy sometimes, it's also important to keep perspective and remember them as individuals who have their own lives. The vast majority of things we see/hear about have absolutely nothing to do with them as a couple. More on that toward the end of this post.

It's best to avoid seeing/interpreting everything through the lens of whether they're a couple or not. Most joy/pain extremes can be avoided that way. Just enjoy them and their works, and the rest will follow over time.

You might also find my fandom survival guide helpful.

As a new turtle you might also find my masterlist post helpful. A lot of older topics, common questions and background can be found there.

Here are a few posts I recommend for new turtles:

BXG Glossary

BXG Calendar

About Kadian

GG and DD’s projects

Is YiZhan real?

Which do you love more?

Proof they’re still together?

Fandom Survival Guide

BXG Fandom Etiquette

Why so much hate from solos?

“I came across a nasty rumor about them online”

[sunsguilt]

May I ask for more malleus being a looser headcanons?

YOU'RE CONFUSING MY HEART.┊ft: malleus draconia

warnings: none! contains: gn! reader, LONG POST! (1.8k words)

notes: i'll do u one better comrade, ur getting a oneshot bc i am so cool (also this idea was floating around my head for a while) despite me talking about him as much as i have, he's not my fav but! he's interesting to have on the noggin.

Sebek would not leave you alone. Usually, he would be bearable but he had been on your back for the entire day and even decided to follow you back to your respective dorm. 

He had been quite literally following you throughout the school. The problem is, he was silent, just staring at you with vehement outrage. You went to class? He sat in the seat behind you. You sat down in the cafeteria for lunch? He sat across from you and ate his food while staring you dead in the face. It had you sweating bullets the entire day.

You were racking your brain trying to figure out why he would be doing this in the first place.  Was this some sort of fear tactic he was testing? Because it was working. It was working really well.

At some point, you were fed up and spun around. “Sebek, what do you want?” His face had been contorted for quite some time now. It would be impressive if you weren’t worried that his face was stuck like that. 

“APOLOGIZE TO THE YOUNG MASTER!” 

You felt like your ears just popped. “Huh? Why?” Was he talking about Malleus? You were certain he was. But apologize? What?

“You know what you did, human.” He seethed. You did not know what you did, far from it actually. It only served to confuse you more. 

Sebek went on a tangent about how you should be grateful that Malleus gives you the time of day, and so on. You just stood there in shock, frozen in place. Students walked by, whispering while Sebek paid no mind and only seemed to be gearing up in his speech. This was so humiliating, you hoped you died posthaste. 

“What did I do?” You asked, at your wit’s end. 

“I warned Lord Malleus, I did! That you,” He jabbed his finger at you accusingly. “Were unfit to remain by the Young Master’s side! And yet he overlooked my words and is in the state he’s in!” 

Sebek’s lamenting could span for the remainder of your life if he decided to, so you cut him short. 

“Hang on, something’s wrong with Malleus? I thought he was sick or something.” Even the notion sounded a bit silly once you voiced it; in what world did fae actually get sick? But even fae can decide they don’t wish to attend class and claim to be ill.

Now that he mentioned it, it has been quite some time since you physically saw Malleus. You saw Lilia a few times and asked him where he was, only to be met with “he’s simply having a fit, you see.”

“He’s shut himself in his room for days now. He refuses to speak to anyone, including me.” Somehow you felt that Sebek would cause him unneeded stress. 

Sebek made a face like he just tasted something unpleasant. He crossed his arms before speaking again. “As much as I loathe to admit it, human, the Young Master seems to care for you a great deal. You would do well to visit him.” 

Just how much pride did Sebek swallow to ask you for help? As far as you could guess, it was a lot, because he walked away immediately after. He left you with a lot more questions than answers, which was mildly infuriating. 

It really had been a long time since you had physically seen Malleus. You would text him and ask if he was ok, but he never called you after you gave him your number. He seemed to prefer to send you letters, which was fine. But now, the constant stream of letters seemed to have dried out, with not a single one arriving by carrier bird as they usually did. 

Weird, it was so weird. Well, no more bizarre than you agonizing over the well-being of a fae prince who likes to talk to you about his tamagotchi. 

“And that’s why you’re dressed like that?”

“Is this not how people apologize to each other?” 

Grim stared at you from his cushy napping spot at the foot of your bed, observing you openly fret about your predicament. You were watching how-to videos on how to properly fix a tie. Great Seven knows where you acquired a tux. Honestly, your pacing was stressing him out and he was pretty much clueless about whatever was going on in your head at the moment. 

Both you and Malleus had the same way of visibly showing you were apprehensive about something. Grim had caught said fae a number of times walking back and forth outside of the dorm before finally knocking on the door to ask to see you. Grim thought the two of you were gross.

“Are you sure I should go now? It’s pretty late.” 

“Go, go! Those flowers you got are making me sneeze! I’m allergic, you know!” 

“So even the Great Grim has allergies? Weasels aren’t allergic to roses, stupid.” 

“I’m not a weasel! Plus, even I, the Great and Mighty Grim can have a weakness. An Achilles Heel!” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m gonna go before I chicken out.” 

You ran like your life depended on it, hightailing it towards Diasomnia. Your umbrella inverted itself midway there, so you were more than a little drenched why the time you were at their doorstep. 

Fumbling for the knocker on the door, you slammed it down three times, deeming it sufficient. And it was, since you heard locks turning at the other end a few moments later. 

“Lilia?” 

Said person answered the door, a bit disheveled like he just rolled out of bed, quite frankly. He was wearing a sweatshirt that hardly fit him, white-knuckling a freshly opened bag of chips. He was also wearing a headset with a mic. You would be more confused if it wasn’t Lilia. It would be a a truly bizarre sight if it was Sebek who appeared before you in this way. 

He took a few moments to look you up and down confusedly. “(name). A pleasure. You know where Malleus’s room is.” 

“Right, thanks.” 

He immediately turned on his heel and vanished down a hallway where you could faintly hear, “Silence, knave! I’m not AFK anymore.” 

These people were so strange. 

Usually, Malleus would be at your side as you ascended the winding staircase, idly listening to you talk about your special interest of the day that everyone had to know about. 

You reached his door and somehow it felt more imposing than the front door did. At this point, it would be more humiliating to turn back, so you knocked on the door. 

The bedroom door creaked on its hinges as it opened.

Malleus stood wordlessly in the doorway, his face unreadable. You probably looked a state, damp from the torrent of rain clutching a slightly squished bouquet of roses. His eyes lingered on them for a long time.

“Um, did you just wake up?” 

“Of course not.” 

He beckoned you inside his room with a sweep of his arm, and you stiffly entered. The room was dimly lit, save for the plethora of candles giving off a soft light. Malleus was actually in the process of lighting more as you noticed. 

“You must be cold. Sit here.” He eventually steers you towards the couch next to a fireplace, which was burning brightly. The fire did feel welcoming but you had a goal here, and sitting down would make you forget. 

“Malleus, these are for you.” 

What a sight! The human bestowing upon the fae prince a bouquet of roses picked out especially for them! Malleus looked especially stunned at the gesture, eyes widened, frozen in his seat on the couch while you stood meekly with your peace offering. 

“I’m not sure if I said something but,” You avoided eye contact while you spoke, feeling embarrassed already. “I don’t like this weird keeping-our-distance thing. This is me trying to apologize.” 

This was so humiliating, especially since Malleus had yet to react with anything other than surprise. 

“So…” He began slowly. “You bear no ill will of me? Truly?” 

Now it was your turn to be shocked, comically so. It was palpable in the expressions that flitted across your face. 

“HUH? Why would you even think that?” 

You realized just how loud you were probably being compared to him so you cleared your throat before kneeling down before him. 

“Malleus, I swear I could never hate you.” 

This was so cringe but Malleus always seemed super into that kind of stuff. He sat with you to watch dramas at your dorm sometimes. And he was, judging by the way his eyes seemed to soften. Your silly gesture seemed to have touched him deeply. 

That bouquet was cheap, if you were being honest with yourself. It was a fair trade for that heirloom he passed down to you a month prior for inviting him to dinner, no?

(if you were wondering, no it wasn’t, in your eyes)

Malleus seemed to be more genial, cupping your hand in his hands. He had smooth, unblemished hands, compared to yours that were constantly scarred from incidents where you were a bit reckless. He seemed to think that you were far more fragile than you actually were. Once, you told him that you burned your finger and he looked faint at the sight of the bandages. 

The rain continues falls outside but subsides quite a bit. It is so gentle it's more like a mist.

Aside from that, you decided it was probably necessary to ask what you were curious about from the beginning. 

“Malleus,” You began. He hummed, not yet releasing your hand from his hold. He has a stronger grip than he liked to let on. You rose to your feet, unable to step any farther due to his grasp on you. “Why haven’t you been in class?” 

His hands were gentle, rubbing his thumbs on the top of your hands. He seemed almost preoccupied with it since it took him so long to respond. 

“I believed that,” He seemed unusually hesitant, squeezing your hands again as if to reassure himself. “Perhaps you disliked me. Since you said as such.” 

“I did not. I would never.” 

“You did.” 

After a bit of back and forth, you vaguely recalled saying something along the lines of “I hate you” to him. But it was over something so incredibly stupid. You told Malleus you hated him because he wouldn’t offer to give you four million thaumarks on the spot when you asked. You asked as a joke to begin with. 

This whole situation was built off one singular misunderstanding. You wanted to smack him upside the head. But that would be too cruel. Also unnecessary. 

While you and Malleus were mending your bond, you distantly noticed through the windows that the storm that had been a constant finally disperse. Sun quickly bloomed through the passing storm clouds. 

What a weird coincidence. But you didn’t pay much attention to the sudden change in weather after Malleus insisted you sit bestwide him, to catch up on the time lost between you. 

— ☆

[enid-rhees]

Oh! I'm so sorry for spamming ya' with requests, but could you please write some headcanons or sumn for Enid with ADHD!Reader? How Enid would help reader manage her symptoms. For example; helping her feel more motivated, vibing with her when she gets hyper (Enid puts on some music and they dance together), patiently listens to her when she's being over talkative, rather than judging her, Enid stands up for her when others pick on her for being clumsy, sensitive, forgetful, hyper/talkative, etc.

Hope this makes sense! 💞✨

never apologize for sending in so many requests bc you just gave me the excuse to write stories all day with everything u send and i am very excited to write all of them :)) this req is a bit special to me tbh bc i have ADHD and i got it BAD so i’m very excited to write this out (also the talkative part is SO real especially when i’m high i cannot stop talking JDJDJSJS)

Enid Rhee Dating Fem!Reader with ADHD HCS!

Enid is so understanding about your ADHD

you opened up about the struggles with motivation

especially when it comes to having to do your chores and shifts around Alexandria or Hilltop

and Enid was so cute about it she came up with a small plan for you to work through to help you get through the day with no trouble

it had genuinely helped

she started to notice the way you fidget with your hands, sometimes you would clap randomly or start shaking them

so one day on a run . you noticed how she was digging through way more stuff than usual

when you asked what she was doing, she suddenly popped up with a fidget toy in her hand

it was so cute she held it out and smiled and just went “for you”

she loves when you rant about your current hyperfixations

like she’ll lay in bed with you and let you talk for as long as you want to, a smile on her face the entire time

sometimes she purposely asks a question about said hyperfixation just to hear you talk about it and watch you progressively get happier

will spend hours on a run looking for any scrap of your hpfx and gets really excited to see your reaction

sometimes you don’t even realize when you’re just rambling on and you constantly apologize for it

but Enid tells you every time to not apologize and gladly listens to everything you have to say

it makes you feel incredibly loved honestly

certain music makes you feel so energetic and happy and you just need to move with it

Enid LOVES this tbh like she will happily dance around the room with you when music comes on in your house

you are extremely forgetful and it had become an issue within your group . you would forget to bring certain items or forget your own chore

you’ve gotten yelled at for it a lot . and you are extremely sensitive when it comes to yelling as well

you become extremely emotional but try your best to hide it . but the second Enid asked if you were okay you bursted into tears

Enid had then taken it upon herself to defend you against who yelled at you, going off completely on them until they directly apologized to you

if you get overwhelmed she takes you to another room and stays with you until you start feeling better

you’re a bit clumsy

which doesn’t help when you’re on an important run and need to be stealthy

but Enid walks in front of you and leads you to where you need to be, keeping a hand out in case you trip

🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[misc-obeyme]

hi ur writing is literally amazing can i ask u some stuff regarding it/how you go about writing/advice? feel free to ignore this if its not something youre comfy with

were u ever nervous to post fic? i just posted my first one and am like. super embarrassed (i also have a Guilt Complex that influences that lmao). if so, did you find it easier as you kept writing?

also how the hell do you write endings/get the motivation for them? youre really good at tying things together nicely at the end (or the occasional Leave 'Em Wondering) and im curious about your process for it. i can pretty steadily get up to the scene i started the fic to write but after that brain and motivation go honk mimimi

anyways thank you for sharing your work with the internet! i love reading your stuff its always a highlight in my day :)

Hi there, anon!

So first of all, I absolutely LOVE questions about writing, so please always feel free to send me any you may have! I'm such a nerd, I really love talking about the process and I'm happy to discuss it or share advice and so on!

Secondly, omg you're so sweet! Thank you, I'm so glad you like my writing!

Now then, lemme answer your questions! I apologize in advance for the LENGTH of these answers, but I seem to be incapable of writing about this sort of thing without it turning into an entire essay.

Yes, absolutely, I was extremely nervous when I first starting posting my fics. Some of that may have been that I hadn't written fic in a while and I was nervous enough about sharing, but I was extra nervous about messing up characterization. I wasn't used to writing for characters that I didn't create myself. I got nervous again when I started posting smut, too lol.

The thing about this type of anxiety in general is that exposure therapy really is the cure. It's like that for a little bit at first, but the more you do it, the more you prove to yourself that it's no big deal. Nowadays, I have almost no anxiety when I'm posting something fluffy and even most smut pieces are easier for me to post, too.

Another piece of this is remembering that the reason you write fic is for your own enjoyment. You're putting it on the internet on the chance that someone else might like it, too. But really, you have to focus on the things that make you happy. It's easier to deal with posting anxiety if you keep your focus on the joy of creation rather than the adrenaline of sharing. It's hard to do, but it gets easier the more you do it!

Okay, so endings! Uh, here's a fun fact about me, endings are my weakness lol. I have a lot of practice starting things and then never ending them because I absolutely get bored at a certain point. So I know exactly what you mean by the brain going to honk mimimi land.

For me, the trick was to write short stuff. Most of my fics are just scene length. This allowed me to get some practice with writing more endings because I didn't get bored when I was pretty much just writing one scene. So I found a couple things that I like to do for endings specifically, but then I also discovered a way to sort of keep my brain engaged while writing longer stuff.

It kinda all comes down to what you want to leave the reader with. That final paragraph or sentence can really deliver an impactful emotion. So you kinda have to think about what the rest of the scene is about, what specific feeling do you want the reader to have when they get to the end? If you're not sure, you can also frame it as what kind of feeling do you want to have at the end?

One technique I like to use is tying everything back to the beginning. I've used it multiple times, but it's probably most obvious in this Barbatos drabble. The first and last sentences are the same, but you don't have to be that blatant about it lol. That was mostly a stylistic choice. But if you look at the third paragraph and the last paragraph, they are parallels of each other, but they're different. What they convey is that something has changed by the end. So by repeating pieces of the beginning at the end, I'm deliberately illustrating what changed in the middle.

It's like thinking of the ending as a sort of summary of everything that happened in the middle of the story. If you're writing something longer, you can apply this to individual scenes as needed. But you might end up with an entire scene at the beginning and an entire scene at the end that do the same thing (rather than a couple of paragraphs).

Another thing I like to do is leave an implication of further action that isn't included. Something like "You wouldn't leave his room until morning." or maybe "You had a feeling something like this would happen again soon." Like this isn't really the end, but the rest is up to your imagination!

This is more specifically about the last paragraphs/scene/sentence, though. It's good to think of a way to recall the entirety of the story you just told, leaving the reader with the overall feeling you were going for.

But when it comes to longer stories, if you're finding you make it to one scene and then stop, well, that might be the end of your story. For this kind of thing, it really helps me to think about what the end game of the story is. For instance, in my longest fic, The Threads That Bind, I knew it was a Barbatos x MC love story. So the "end" couldn't happen until they had confessed their feelings to each other. A lot of other stuff happened before that, but it all contributed to that final plot point. And there isn't much story after that. The final scene is their confession. (There is a spicy epilogue, but that was just a bonus lol.)

So if you can decide before you even start writing what the goal is, you can write to that goal, filling in a bunch of cool scenes along the way. It doesn't have to be that you know exactly what happens or what the final scene is. When I started writing Threads, I had no idea how the confession was going to go. I just knew that Barbatos and MC had to end up declaring their love somehow.

But I tied that into the rest of the story with the theme of the threads. It was a visual anchor as well as a metaphorical one - magic let them see threads binding them together, but the feeling of belonging to each other was kind of the point of it all. So I was able to take that concept that I'd already used and incorporate it into the final confession scene.

NOW THEN all of this might also be easier if you're an outline type of person, but I most definitely AM NOT. Other writers swear by an outline and you'll probably find a lot of information on how to use one if you Google it.

But outlining for me is like pulling teeth, so I never do it. I write my first draft in a fever dream, with the end goal and a handful of ideas about overall themes and a couple things that I just think would be cool or fun to write. I spend a lot of time daydreaming about the story first, too, but I don't write anything down until I'm writing that first draft.

I could probably write a whole book on my methods for writing, but my biggest piece of advice for this kind of thing is EXPERIMENT.

The best part about writing is that aside from the basic fundamentals (spelling, grammar, sentence structure, etc), there are NO RULES. So if you're finding you're always struggling with finishing, try out anything and everything that might help you with that. Try writing outlines, try not writing outlines, try ending your story with the scene you were working toward, try thinking of a new scene you want to write as the ending scene. If it works, great! If it doesn't work, no problem! Just chuck it and try something else.

Sometimes the best thing for me to do is to ask myself what would be the most fun to write next? And then just going for it. My opinion is that you can always edit things later!

Anyway, I hope some of that helps! I'm sorry I really rambled quite a bit, but like I said, I love talking about this kind of thing lol.

Good luck, anon, and I believe in you!

[akai-anna]

HEY THERE MY LOVELY MUTUAL <3 <3 (I love when you reblog and queue my posts ur actually amazing ily so much I love reading your tags hugs hugs hugs <3 <3 <3 im in love, giggling kicking my feet everyday)

SAW THE CHARACTERS OPINION BINGO U REBLOGGED 👍 I GOTCHU

TAKAGI. BABY BOI OF DCMK (I remember seeing a poll rolling around somewhere about the most dcmk baby girl and Takagi won)

I will also have to have to ask you about Kaito HAHAH (my fav blorbo i will admit)

ok the thing is im from australia. choose an australian animal of your choice bc i am Intrigued. im not too sure how the bingo would translate though hahahah I don't think it would work very well

(feel free to also ask me anything or talk to me and about this bingo too >v0 b)

wait you know what i forgot LOL WE GOTTA HAVE THE PROTAGONIST DUO SHIN/CONE AS WELL. PLS

*LIGHTS UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE* MY DEAR MUTUAL, HI CYN, HELLO!!!!

Firstly: WE'VE NEVER TALKED BEFORE BUT LET ME TELL YOU, I WAS (still am) SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT WHEN I SAW YOU SEND IN AN ASK! Yes, I keep track and i'm always happy to see you in my activity and my dash! (I'm also really happy to see we mutually share that feeling; I relate to the giggling kicking feet sentiment a lot.) I'm happy to have this chance to interact with you, in a sense, face to face! Bless you, darling, and I'm sending hugs right back at you.

Secondly: YOU HAVE EXCELLENT TASTE AND YOU HAVE MY ETERNAL ADORATION ESPECIALLY FOR ONE TAKAGI WATARU, he always needs more love, I FREAKING ADORE THAT MAN.

Thirdly: warning notes apply, as stated in previous asks:

I tend to interpret things liberally: only my own rules apply, which means ->

I check everything that makes sense to me, even if they might seem contradictory

The Character Opinion Bingo in question

Prepare for endless ranting. And as a certain someone says: さあショーの始まりだ わ!

I. Takagi Wataru

The Babygirl and Malewife of My Heart Personal Special Tag: #takagi is a good man

Points that I feel need a little elaboration:

I am so normal about them: I use the word "normal" as a synonym for "utterly obsessed with" and "absolutely love and adore". (I don't like the word in itself, hence, the only context I use it in, is this. But that is another story.)

*puts them in a salad spinner*: as in, the salad spinner is my brain, and he keeps rotating in it at high centrifugal force.

Canon isn't real if I don't look at it and That's a solid design right there: Detco Canon is... As much as I love it, I think we can agree it has its shortcomings/issues, and one of them is coming up. These two points go hand in hand at this moment because LOOK AT HIM!!! LOOK AT HIM!!! THIS MAN IS A BABY!!! LOOK AT HIM, HE'S PERFECT!!! THE SPIKY HAIR!!! THE SHAPES!!! THE COLOUR PALETTE!!! HE'S SO CUTE!!

I resonate with this particular video: his new design in the anime (partly thanks to the general Square-and-Pointy-fication) is just... THEY HAD THE PERFECT MAN. IT'S A CRIME. Bless that he is at least still cute in the manga, even if not the same way as in the early anime. The sharp cheekbones and soft looking hair have their charm.

My point is: THIS!!!! MAN!!! IS!!! A BABY!!!!

Literally I would kiss them and I want to BITE them: he makes me go FERAL with LOVE, and makes me feel like I want to gnaw on something or eat a whole fridge or scream endlessly into a pillow. I wouldn't do it to HIM (I'll leave that to Satou Miwako), but generally, the feeling is there. (Okay, I'll be honest, I would totally give him forehead, cheek, or hair kisses.)

To close his section, have one of my favourite bits about this Baby Of A Man. That poll was absolutely right about him, THE ULTIMATE BABYGIRL (and Malewife TM).

⊱✿⊰

II. Kuroba Kaito/Kaitou KID

The Local Mischief and Chaos Bringer Personal Special Tag: #the magical agent of chaos

LOL I DIDN'T EXPECT TO GET A BINGO, EVEN WITH THE FREE SPACE HAHA

Some points are the same as for Takagi, but here is elaboration on the ones that don't match:

Bastard, A Beast Unleashed and They didn't get bullied enough: let's be real. He's an Absolute Menace. And I sort of love that about him. Highly competent (competency makes me go weak), and if that is not scary (and hot) I don't know what. And sometimes he also goes too far (lifting skirts is not okay at all, Kaito) and needs someone to put a leash on him (or kick a soccer ball at him/chase him in a classroom). I feel that sometimes he needs a bit of bullying a challenge, to think about things. And again, honesty: I love seeing him suffer a bit, I love his Panic Moments LOL. Not in a mean way. But I also love how kind he is; the baseball chapter in the MK manga has my heart, and the Clock Tower Heist, and the Red Tear chapter... Not to mention the Nightmare arc. He cares about people and making others happy. I feel I went on a tangent here. Onto the bastard bit: he CAN BE SUCH A BASTARD AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM TOO. Two of my favourite bits of Bastardry from him include 1) HOW HE DISGUISED AS RAN AND HOW HE BAITED SHINICHI AT THE VERY END OF THAT ENCOUNTER and 2) THE WAY HE SENDS SHINICHI CAREENING IN THE SIDECAR LIKE IT'S NOTHING (but also Shinichi getting right back at him and setting fire to the fckin fuel.) Pure Bastard Energy.

I want their gender: I love the way he is just so free-spirited about how he dresses/disguises. And I love the thought of him and Aoko doing outfit swaps (I blame that competition in MK for these. Also look at these delightful posts on the topic).

Canon isn't real if I don't look at it: I have... issues, with canon, you could say. Like the way he has no support system, especially bothers me. I would like to see his character treated with more care (be it MK or DetCo). I live for good character development, and I crave that for him.

To close this section, have one of my favourite conversations between these two menaces of nature.

⊱✿⊰

III. Australian Animal of Choice: Koala

Fun fact: I've been in love with koalas ever since I got a keyholder plushie from relatives in Australia when I was like... in kindergarten? Or early elementary? Also don't worry, *puts on sunglasses* I wouldn't have mentioned animals, if I thought I couldn't work with them.

Elaboration is needed here I feel.

I am so normal about them: I'm not as obsessed as I used to be but I'm eternally fond of koalas. Did you know their fingerprints are so similar to us they could be mistaken for human fingerprints? Or how they spend most of their time sleeping because the eucalyptus they consume is toxic? Or how they can actually swim well? Or how they are literally surviving by being Dumb As Shit because Being Dumb Saves Energy? Yeah, I'm totally normal about them.

*projects onto them like a mf* and I want their gender: Oh to be a koala, just existing, sleeping, sometimes waking up to eat some eucalyptus, then going right back to sleep. I want that.

That's a solid design right there: HAVE YOU SEEN THEM? SO FLUFFY LOOKING!!! WITH BIG CLAWS!!! THE BIG NOSE!!! SO SHAPED!!! NOT TO MENTION THE EARS!!!

They are so silly and They Sure Do Exist: how did this animal even come into existence? Weird lil creatures. THEY ARE JUST SO SILLY. THE NOISES THE MAKE. Like oh my god.

Literally I would kiss them: THEY JUST LOOK SO SOFT, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO BURY MY FACE IN THE FUR?

⊱✿⊰

IV. Kudou Shinichi/Edogawa Conan

*Prof Agasa voice* He has many nicknames, like Gremlin Child, Absolute Menace, Ultimate Baby, Lil Nerd, Walking Encyclopedia Son, or Disaster Child. I think I call him as many names as I do my dear Rosie, so that is quite telling LMAO Personal Special Tag: #the detective gremlin

HDSBSKDB DOUBLE BINGO (AND ALMOST 4 BC HE'S ALSO DET'S FAV, SO ALMOST CROSSED OUT PROXY TOO KSJNVKSVNJS OK, my love for him is showing, I guess)

EDIT: FCKIN TRIPLE BINGO AS @vampirecatsw POINTED OUT oh my god, I'm blind

Again, some thoughts on relevant bits.

*projects onto them like a mf*: THIS CHILD IS SO FCKIN NEURODIVERGENT, AND I FCKIN RELATE, ALSO HE LOVES AND CARES SO DEEPLY IT HURTS AND I RELATE SO HARD.

A Beast Unleashed: another MENACE OF NATURE. You cannot let him roam free, he finds trouble like it's Breathing. Also love it when he goes ballistic. Or when he shows how competent he is. Like GOD. HE'S AMAZING, and he's a danger to criminals and himself, mostly.

Everyone else if wrong about them: not EVERYONE, just... some people. We agreed with a friend that some of our issues in portrayal lies with the fandom sort assigning him traits that Hakuba has, but not Shinichi (Hakubification). Of course, people can have their fun with it, but it's not for me and have my own opinions on the matter.

Canon isn't real if I don't look at it: again, DetCo has issues. Like the lack of continuity/ erased character development, or not bringing up issues ever again, and the like. Early DetCo was GOOD at these, and I miss those times.

That's a solid design right there and I fuck with this aesthetic so hard: HE IS!!!! SO SHAPED!!!!! SO ROUND!!! (or at least used to be) THE GENTLE CURVES OF HIS FACE!!! THE SILLY HAIR!!!! NOT TO MENTION HIS FCKIN WARDROBE!!!! I'M OBSESSED WITH HIM!!! Also, I have a huge thing for blue eyes and dark hair combination, not to mention the glasses... I'm fckin weak for glasses... god. He just hits all the right spots in my heart and brain. (Not to mention his personality, I WANT TO CRY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH-)

They didn't get bullied enough: I live for others teasing Gremlin Child. It's not quite bullying (never HURT HIM FOR REAL, I'LL CRY), but he needs to be TEASED MORE FOR SURE. I guess Bastardry also fits into this, that's good too.

SQUEAK: sometimes he is just so DUMB I want to SQUISH HIM HARD OR SHAKE HIM. I LOVE HIM, I SO DO, even if he is an idiot at times. God. I love him.

Literally I would kiss them and I want to BITE them: HIS CHEEKS ARE SO PERFECTLY ROUND I WANT TO CHOMP ON THEM. ALSO ALL THE KISSES TO HIM!!!!! BABY BOY!!!! GIVE HIM ALL THE KISSES!!!! AND HUGS TOO!!!

Bastard: the way he FCKS WITH SOME CRIMINALS. OH MY GOD. THE WAY HE IS SOMETIMES A MENACE ON PURPOSE. THE WAY HE SOMETIMES GETS SO ANNOYED HE JUST GOES FOR HIS WATCH. Also the way he is an absolute bastard to KID. His attitude is just so. *chef kiss* Love a menace of a child, HE'S AMAZING. HIS RAZOR SHARP SMIRK, THE MISCHIEVOUS CHILD FACE.

I have way too many favourite bits related to this boi. So. Have these random screencaps from my DCMK folder.

I hope you have fun reading this madness, Cyn! I HAD AN ABSOLUTE BLAST, YOU HAVE MY ETERNAL LOVE, may you have an absolutely blessed day, dear.

[okthatsgreat]

me again sending a bunch of those emojis forrrr any oc you want to talk about :)🌋🤥😨🙈🎭🔫 and again feel free ignore some of the emojis (i know a couple of these were ones i sent the first time too LOL)

YAY!!!!! u are so cool ALWAYS thank you lily :] oh im gonna use sae. my friend sae but im gonna skip two of these bc i wanna keep a few facts about sae hidden to the people who are also in the rp ghfkjsghkfdggfhdgsjkgfdgshf IM EXCITED TO WRITE FOR HER !!!!!!!!! AND LOVE TALKING

oc ask game!

🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or an instant explosion?

sae is EXTREMELY patient!! as a fisherman she's had to learn how to stay cool-headed and calm under pressure, which means it is very difficult to get under her skin. she's usually very very slow to anger, just as much as she is slow to get much of a reaction out of! years and years of sitting on docks waiting for fish to bite will do that to a mfer GDFSKGJ

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

sae doesn't lie a whole ton!!! i won't give away any tells but it's important to note that she lives a very simple, straight forward life that doesn't involve a whole lot of lying to other people. at MOST it would be lying through omission!!!! other than that she's usually quite truthful if you ask her the right questions lmao. not only is she truthful but she'll also start talking forever and ever

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "fight" or "flight"?

FIGHT PROBABLY??? moreso freeze i think........... she is not fast enough for flight and isn't one to just book it and leave, especially since she often sways about like she's still got her sea legs half of the time lol. she doesn't resort to violence as a first resort either, but if push comes to shove she'll intimidate yknow??? like she'll step forward and act a bit tougher but its gonna take a LOT for her to start swinging ghfdksghfdjkg. i reckon she's a lot more likely to stop and think for a WHILE. like full sit down on the floor head in her hands moment. try not to get a headache immediately moment

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

oh you know i love making characters who hold a completely seperate identity to the one they portray to others but honestly sae doesn't hold herself super duper differently around certain people ghfksghk!!! she doesn't have a totally different "true self" like a few of my other ocs have but there are still subtle differences in how she acts around different people :) one of the biggest ones is just how tense she tends to get around people she's not super comfortable with. still prone to rambling and slow moving but her shoulders are always hella rigid lol. she's also a bit more awkward and out of place, like she's not entirely sure how to talk to them just yet so she manoeuvres herself in a way that's a lot more stiff

THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!!

[bunnieshoneys]

Hii! Im the anon that asked about watching F1, thank you for the lengthy answer I really appreciate it!

Karting is so fun but I never realised before going how hard it was on your body. It’s difficult to imagine how these F1 drivers do it tbh, it’s crazy!!

I ended up watching the Suzuka race live after sending in the ask and you’re right I did learn a lot just from watching it (also crash almost gave me a heart attack, was not expecting anything like that to happen..). I really love learning about the strategy, I never realised how much really goes into racing before this. I read a few more chapters of the fic too and learned a lot from that. Actually I really love learning about racing in general just from the fic it makes it a bit more digestible when there’s so much to learn.

I have adhd too so I totally get not being able to like things normally haha.. I’ve spent all of today so far reading about F1 and I’m looking into tickets for the British GP since it’s somewhat close to where I live (which is funny bc less than 48hrs ago all F1 is to me is cars go zoom..). I blame your fic but in a good way! I’m really glad I started reading it, I already feel like this is gonna be my new obsession.

And as it turns out one of my friends used to watch a bunch of races at the Shanghai circuit so I’ll have someone to annoy with questions for the Chinese GP, I’m really excited to watch that! I still don’t know in what ways the track influences the race technically, but what an interesting looking track! It looks like it’d be fun to drive on that.

Also can I ask why you like and support Ferrari and Leclerc in particular? And do you think they could win this year? Since from what I see Verstappen/Red Bull Racing have been stuck in the top spot the past 3 years

Thanks again for your answer!

so many opportunities to yap about f1….

lap 1 incidents are pretty common, but suzuka in particular has a very high rate of safety car use (ie crashes occuring) because its so technical and driver heavy. its one of my fav tracks for this reason!

silverstone is a brilliant track and the atmosphere is amazing - its one of the classics! however what i will say is that the prices are EXTREMELY inflated. if ur european (even if you live IN england) its cheaper to go to races abroad if thats an option because silverstone is SOOO expensive. ive never been to a race bc of money but if you can spare it silverstone is definitely one of the best especially in terms of the racing.

tracks influence a couple of things : drivers and cars. mostly cars, since f1 (unlike f2 and f3) is equally a constructors series. there are a bunch of concepts that effect how a car will perform on a certain track, but the main ones are downforce and straight line speed. downforce mainly effects cornering. diff tracks will have corners that are taken at different speeds (high speed v low speed corners) and different cars will be weak or strong through corners depending on their characteristics (RBR last year was weak in low speed corners, hence singapore being SO bad for them, and mclaren was in incredibly strong in the high speed corners (qatar, japan) but lacked straight line speed, making them weaker in other places.

why ferrari? the legacy. micheal schumacher won 5 of his WDCs with them, the iconic red, the passion. it feels like a cult and i love it

leclerc… oh my god leclerc. first of all i just think hes a little bit funny in an insane way. but aside from that, he won f3 as a rookie, then won f2 as a rookie. that is RARE. only Rosberg (WDC 2016) Lewis Hamilton (7x WDC), Nico Hulkenberg (uuh), George Russell and Oscar Piastri have won the support series as a rookie, and of those only hamilton, russell, piastri and leclerc won f3 / f2 or their equivalents back to back. (f1 fans u can correct me if im wrong on this)

his f2 performance is the most dominant of all time. the sprint win in bahrain 2017 (f2) was genuinely one of the most jaw dropping pieces of racing ive ever seen. he went to sauber (midfield/backmarker team) in 2018 for his first year in f1 and scored the vast majority of the team’s points - 39. 39 points in that car was insane. he signed to ferrari in 2019 as a second driver to 4x WDC sebastian vettel. instead of backing down and playing nice, he then proceeded to outqualify him over two seasons, and outrace him too. his win in monza 2019 is POETRY in motion. verstappen rates him very highly and said in 2018 that he hopes theyll have a rivalry like hamilton and vettel. god he makes me INSANE

as to whether ferrari/leclerc can win this season… i wouldnt be a fan if i didnt say yes. RBR bought a major floor update to suzuka and they still didnt run away as much as last year (at least perez, verstappen is inhuman). despite having a couple of poor qualifying runs, leclerc is racing at an incredibly high level and is on pace with verstappen. with a strategy generally considered slower (and definitely much more difficult) he advanced from P8 to P4 today. vassuer (the ferrari team principal) has said hes optimistic about the upgrade trajectory, and that it can be developed aggressively. those first upgrades will come in Imola.

basically the season is long. max had a dnf in australia and leclerc is still within touching distance of perez. i think we need a little luck but it could be possible if the upgrades go well. leclerc couldve fought for P2 today with a decent quali. (charles also seems to do really well on sprint weeks. and china is a sprint week) :)

tbh though i think the real battles will come in 2025 and 2026. leclerc v hamilton in equal machinery, and then ferrari v RBR:3

thankyou anon<3

[hatbox-apologist]

I was gonna turn on anon but I decided against it, would it be okay if I actually asked you a question? Since I know you write reader insert fics yourself I thought you would maybe relate to what I’m feeling and if so I wanted to see how you deal with it. I absolutely love writing x reader fics, I get really attached to my favorite characters and I love pouring that love into writing form for myself and others to enjoy but sometimes I still feel embarrassed/ashamed/anxious about it and about how others might perceive it. I know there used to be a big stigma behind it and I got made fun of for it for a while and even now when I’ve gained enough confidence to start posting them to public places I still get a little worried that someone is sitting being the screen and thinking “wow this is cringe” especially because it’s most of the content I write and I don’t often write about ships or storylines like a lot of other people do. It’s a bit silly because so far most people have been nothing but nice to me but I still feel a little bit anxious about it especially as I keep writing more and more of them and wonder “oh man is this getting irritating for people”

I apologize for the slight vent, I just found it a little difficult to articulate the emotions in a more simple way. Have you ever felt like when you write fanfic? And if so what helps you kinda push through it and start accepting your writing more?

You don’t have to reply to this if you don’t want to or if it doesn’t really apply to you, and again I’m sorry for dumping a wall of text into your asks- I just got stuck in a little rut while writing my next chapter today and am having trouble getting out of it.

First off thank you so much for the question, I'm really glad u asked and were confident enough to send this without the anon on. Second I'm going to answer questions or comment on certain things as I read this, so here we go.

I don't really write for myself, I mostly write for the people who want to read it. I have a small audience but from the few people I have talked to, on here and from my ao3 page, they like it, so I write it for them.

The thing about the stigma is I still feel it. Not for x reader specifically but for fanfiction and fandom in general. But I just have kinda gotten used to it so I just kinda live in it now. I mean I keep my tumblr to myself and of course y'all on here, but that's it. I don't talk about my fics to people I don't trust not just because of the stigma but also because I write some batshit crazy stuff.

I'll tell you this, I don't think people r going to read something that they think they're not going to like. Especially if you label your works right the worst thing they're going to do is scroll away. (But if u do get a negative comment @ me and I'll find them :) ) Also I think my own work is cringe and I've just accepted that it is at this point so I'm kinda immune to someone telling me that I'm cringe or that what I do is cringe because I am and that's just how it be man. I am one with the cringe and the cringe is me. I've lived too long past my experation date to be worried about some default settings incel telling me my Haunted Mansion fanfiction or tumblr blog is cringe. Like uhm ya of course it's cringe? It's supposed to be?? (also it's my brand now that I'm the jester of cringe, thx to @spookyhollowart)

O dude, lemme tell u something, one shots r the best. You don't have to stick to a big storyline, relationship growth, or character arcs. Literally the best. I can't wait to do my one shots because most of them r short and I won't have to be looking back 6 chapters ago to what color some random ass dude was wearing or some bullshit like that, because I have to do now in my current fic.

Trust me the nice people scare me too. It's like WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE AND WHY R U BEING NICE TO ME??? AND WHY DO YOU LIKE WHAT I WRITE?? (U scare me a lot too btw)

O god no! It's not irritating at all! Quite the opposite, I absolutely love ur stuff, especially ur latest one, Soul Ties. Seriously looking forward to the next chapter, I'm super invested in how the reader acts, I very much relate.

Plz don't apologize this was awesome to read through and answer/comment on.

Man that's a big question, uh Ig I can say that for a long time it felt like a joke to myself that I was writing fanfiction. I was writing it seriously but it didn't feel serious/real to me. I'll say this, I accept the storyline and that I came up with it, but I don't accept the way I'm write it. Because I beat myself up for typos, bad flow, not good enough dialog, not enough descriptors, too many descriptors, too short chapters when I have writers block, not good enough, that kinda stuff.

I'm honestly just glad to have someone else writing hm stuff because I love this fandom so much and I love reading other people's work. I hope you get out of ur rut soon. Take ur time, there's no rush, and don't stress on it.

[lovelyelbowleech]

Hiiii I loved the new chapter so so much! I was recently thinking of going back to fic writing and I wanted to ask: what's your writing process like? do u always have 1 chapter ahead done for like a buffing period or do you just write each chapter in between posting? What's your editing process like? Do you plan out everything that's gonna happen or is it by whichever way the plot takes you? how long until zukka's first kiss? do you have an estimate on how many chapters a fic will be? how do u make your plot so convulted but still follow along? How did u make your characters to dimensional and full despite the fact that we've seen some of them for only bits at a time? what's your personal favourite scene in the upcoming chapters? did u realize im trying to ask about all's fair without asking about all's fair directly while also asking for writing advice? Have u ever written a real book? I love you thank you bye have a nice day!!! looking obsessively desperately forward to the next chapter!!!

Thank you for the great ask! Sorry it's taken a while to answer, life is being a bit complicated at the moment😅

Answers below:

what's your writing process like? do u always have 1 chapter ahead done for like a buffing period or do you just write each chapter in between posting? 

I start the next chapter as soon as I finish the previous, so I sometimes start a week before I post if I send to my beta reader during the week, or if she can't get it done over the weekend, but generally there is no buffer, I just post when I'm done and start the next one.

What's your editing process like? 

Chaotic. I write a rough guide for the chapter, with lots of place holders, then go through and add detail, dialogue, and fill in all the easier bits. Then I go through again and fill in all the placeholder bits, as the chapter takes shape, then again to add punctuation and correct all the underlined in red words, of which there are many. (If I worry about those things when I write, it would take me all year to get anything done.)

Then I tidy it up again, do a final reread, transfer to google docs, correct anything it suggests (lots of the writing a wrong word that's correctly spelled - like through and  though, my nemesis) Send to my lovely beta reader, then follow her suggestions, and all the additional corrections, then post. Takes a while 😂

Do you plan out everything that's gonna happen or is it by whichever way the plot takes you?  

A bit of both. I have a rough plan to the end of the fic, but there is a lot of wiggle room. At the moment I have the next 8 chapters planned pretty thoroughly - but even so,  as I write, sometimes I change things around to make it work better or because stuff just becomes different when I actually write it. 

how long until zukka's first kiss? 

I see you slipping this one into the questions 😂 I'm not going to tell you, obviously, but I will say that Sokka might get a clue within the next stretch of chapters (before BSS)

What that means is open to interpretation though 😬

do you have an estimate on how many chapters a fic will be? 

I did for the first one, bec the scope was smaller, now not so much. I plan about 10 chapters ahead in detail, and the rest is planned out by just the major events that need to happen at certain times. It gives me plenty of space for things changing as I write. 

how do u make your plot so convulted but still follow along? 

Timelines so I know where everyone is at that point, even if they are not in a chapter. So when I need them to be in a place to do a thing, they are lined up. I also have a lot of notes, and use scrivener to organise them and my chapters (although I don't actually write in it, because it does not understand my dyslexic spelling at all.) Everything else is just wiggling around in my brain and sort of pulls together without much thought 😬 

 How did u make your characters to dimensional and full despite the fact that we've seen some of them for only bits at a time? 

Canon characters come with ready made backstories and goals that make them seem fully realised people. But as things move forward in the fic and motivations and feelings change, I guess I try to mesh those things together to make them still feel rounded

For the OC's I find if I make them full backstories, personality quirks and realistic struggles and motivations it helps me write them as full well rounded people, even if the details of what makes them who they are are not 'on screen'. It helps me write them and fit them into the canon world and mix with the canon characters. Of course this also means they ended up getting more tangled in the plot than I really meant them to. They were originally intended to just be outsider POV for canon characters, but a bunch of them sort of developed their own agency, and I found it fitted into certain plot points I was planning a bit too well to ignore. 

what's your personal favourite scene in the upcoming chapters? 

There is one that is mostly planned out that I have been looking forward to writing, although the details are still shifting. It's been in my head since War Crimes 😬

did u realize im trying to ask about all's fair without asking about all's fair directly while also asking for writing advice? 

I did notice that, yes, 😂 

Have u ever written a real book? 

No, I have only ever written fic - I planned a book, way back when but never actually wrote it. 

Thanks again for the ask, sorry the answers are a bit rambley. I hope you are having a good week!

[rollercoasterwords]

hey I don’t want to pick on you or anything I just have a couple of things for you to consider re: your post about never criticizing fic/fan works in public and your responses to that anon. I completely agree with you wrt stuff like prose or characterization. But in terms of something like racism, I will say that as a Black person, I find fandom in general incredibly resistant to seeing any fandom behaviors or tropes as being driven by racism. Privately approaching someone who you may not have a relationship with and who is almost certain to be some degree of defensive or hostile is a big ask. I just think of all those posts I see about how hard it is for people to even comment positively on a fic they loved. We all know it’s hard to approach someone to talk about their work, even if it’s positive! and it seems like an unfair burden on poc for us to always be expected to overcome that reticence so that people aren’t offended/embarrassed by the public critique of any racist content in their fan work. I think that critiquing these racist tropes and behaviors (even using specific works as an example) can actually be an act of community because we’re discussing how to treat each other better and how to acknowledge that fans of color are also reading and viewing and our experiences matter also. Like the point of calling out racism isn’t to shun and disgrace everyone who has done something racist (which is everyone in the world) it’s to help people stop being racist and to show racism is not tolerated or acceptable. Just another perspective for you to consider! I know you’re not like the arbiter of fandom and you’re not responsible for what other people do. Thanks for reading!

i do not feel picked on don't worry!! i really appreciate this message i actually feel like this helped address some of my questions re: differences in posting publicly vs taking it to the fic writer privately when it comes to like. how draining/how much of a burden either of those things can be.

i definitely get what ur saying here that going directly to the fic writer just. is not always going to be the best option for an individual trying to figure out how to address racism in fandom. and while i personally tend to err on the side of addressing issues privately, i agree w u that discussing them publicly can be just as much an act of community + education. i think where my wariness comes from is that i have seen a lot of call-outs that are more witch-hunts where it is sort of burn-them-at-the-stake vibes, and that's more what i was responding to when i made my original post.

but i think the flipside when i talk about things like being in community, assuming the best in each other rather than the worst, etc is that it all needs to be going both ways. so like - when addressing issues, starting from a place where we assume it's misinformation and not intent, but then on the flipside for writers who are having something in their work pointed out as problematic, i think it's important to assume that the people pointing that out to u are (as u say) also coming from a place of community + trying to help educate, not just putting u on trial to humiliate u. like, none of this works if it's not a two-way street. and so i get how seeing writers frequently become defensive or hostile when having their racism called out is gonna mean u develop different tactics for addressing racism--like, that makes a lot of sense.

anyway, thanks for taking the time to send me this message! i feel like it helped me understand a bit more of what that anon might have been getting at; definitely gave me some things to reevaluate when talking broadly abt how we address issues in fic. while i do think that, generally speaking, it's best to go to the writer first, there are definitely situations where that isn't going to be the case + i don't want to act as if there is always one correct set of steps to follow in addressing issues!

[vacantgodling]

The Fool, The Magicuan, The Emperor, The Lovers, Justice, and The Sun !!

(Might send another ask later. It was a long list and I'm currently at a lecture lmao)

HENRIKEEEE firstly thank u secondly LMAO felt i usually do most of my tumblring whilst at work 💀

00. THE FOOL: BEGINNINGS (What is the opening line to your current work?) 

hilarious cuz i haven’t written the first chapter of paramour yet. however i am counting cage as a current novel/project (it’s gonna have 20 chapters so 💀 fanfiction be damned that’s a fucking book LMAO) so here’s the first line from that (and shameless plug u can read it here!

Sometime closer to dusk when the number of airplanes he could make out crossing the horizon was fewer and fewer, and the lights of Gibraltar’s closest neighboring city La Linea began to kiss the night with her bright lights, Lena came to find him.

01. THE MAGICIAN: SPARK OF MAGIC (What inspired you to write your novel?) 

going back to paramour tho honestly the biggest jumping off point where it slowly began to take shape was crimson peak. i remember really distinctly wanting to want a story of that vibe, with ghosts and mystery but then it eventually evolved into the form it’s in now by drawing from other inspiration sources. like it’s very much Not like how i initially thought it would be LMAO but i love this version more 💛

i’m just gonna put my influences slide from my powerpoint to fully illustrate but yeah like A Lot went into getting this wip started.

a lot of it also hinges on the development of both hya as a character (being the first Real Asshole i’ve allowed myself to write as a protagonist) and his relationship with amon—also my desire to write a romance on My Terms just for me that I Liked. ive always felt like i had to write what other people wanted to see or what was good and wholesome but like. i can write whatever i want and this story was the first step in doing that.

04. THE EMPEROR: STRUCTURE (How do you plot your novels?) 

this is a bit of a complicated question only because it’s kind of… all over the place. but in general what i usually do is i make a VERY detailed outline of all the events i want to happen in the book. chapter by chapter the whole nine. like down to adding bits of dialogue, plugging in any exploratory pieces i wrote before hand for context or to add structure

(and what i mean by exploratory is like basically i don’t tend to plot immediately, i write small blurbs to understand the vibes and feels. a old piece on this blog somewhere (perhaps) is when i wrote about hya asking amon to come to the masquerade reception with him in an extremely roundabout way, but that was written WAAAAY back when i was first trying to understand their dynamic; hell amon didn’t even have a name! and now that scene has a proper slot in the outline in chapter 9 lmao).

but i literally do this so i can KNOW what the hell im doing. i’m not a pants-person by any means literally or figuratively, so i need to be able to see the vision.

once i have an outline fully written out i can either write from the beginning down (like i’m doing with cage rn) or i can do what i’m doing with paramour and write based on interest level. writing based on interest level is probably going to be how i write my original novels just because whenever i’ve tried to write straight down (like i have with donut wip) i tend to get mad stuck. and i think it’s because especially in first drafts of my original novels i tend to have certain scenes… fuzzier than others. i need the context of the other scenes around them to build them up. or those are worldbuilding holes etc etc. either way my og novels i tend to get stuck in cuz there’s more thinking involved lmao.

06. THE LOVERS: RELATIONSHIPS (What are your favorite relationships to write about, whether romantic, familial, or platonic?) 

romantic >>>>>>> familial/platonic.

i’m just a romantic at heart generally speaking.

but on a deep level i have a weird personal struggle (it’s the ‘ism) with family and friends so like… i just find them more difficult to write because i don’t really experience them “easily” in my own life? — or at the bare minimum they just spark less joy to me than romance to me. i want to get better at writing other kinds of relationships but i also think writing them just makes me feel lonely lmao.

11. JUSTICE: TRUTH (What is the 'truth' of your novel i.e the prevalent themes or overarching motifs?) 

🤔 i think the most prevalent theme of paramour is truth itself tbh. finding truth yes, and the power of truth in itself sure, but also cultivating the truth within yourself—you’ll only be happy when you live truthfully to your desires yknow?

19. THE SUN: POSITIVITY (What is your greatest writing strength or skill?)

pretty prose in itself. i think i’m really good at creating saccharine, deep descriptions of emotions and those kinds of sentences long winding and emotional really tickle my brain personally so i put the most OOMPH into them.

[bealovesmarauders]

hii honey <33 could i get a

🧜🏻‍♀️mermaid - send me a description of yourself (personality-wise, hobbies, favorite things, physical characteristics, or all of the above, whatever you’re most comfy with!) and i’ll ship you with someone :) pls include gender preference and fandom!!

for either gilmore girls or the dead poets society please? omg im so excited to see who u ship me with!! 🤍 im bisexual/bicurious with a male preference x

my name is eva rose (although u already know that lmao). i'm a ravenclaw and an enfp <33 im a sagittarius in vedic astrology and a capricorn with a libra moon in western

i'm 5''3 with auburn curly hair and a pretty petite hourglass figure. i have freckles pretty much all year round - but only on my cheeks and the tip of my nose. my eyes are blue but look green in certain lighting. ever since i was abt 5 or 6 ive always wanted to get a couple of tattoos but im not old enough yet 😭

i would describe myself as observant, fun, genuine, intuitive and witty. i like to get to know people & ask them questions, im pretty open personally. how much i talk changes massively depending on my mood although i do end up rambling about nothing once i get invested in the conversation lol. i like talking about philosophy and politics and talking about stupid imaginary scenarios with my friends lol

i can be quite anxious & insecure sometimes, but i just need someone to talk to & then i'll be ok. i cry a lot, just because i need to let my emotions out <3 despite all this, i think i'm pretty confident.

i've been described as jo march & lizzie bennett & i agree, but i also think im a bit like meg tbh.

i feel most at home during autumn & during starry nights - i always glance up at the moon & take notice of its phases. <3 i like adventures and old cities - but at the end of the day i prefer being at home. i love art galleries, classic fiction, (fave poet is yeats although i i haven't actually read much poetry lol), astronomy, late night conversations, biking and listening to music - i like the beatles, fleetwood mac, abba, david bowie and the smiths

i love it when a person feels like home to me <3 i'm also a massive hopeless romantic and my love languages are quality time & physical touch

tysm bea :))

hi lovely<33 i ship you with tristan dugray!

he probably has a little nickname for you (and he'll play it off, but whenever you call him 'pretty boy' or something he just melts). he's pretty cheeky so the teasing might get a bit out of hand sometimes. i think he'd be so so interested in talking politics and philosophy with you!! i like to think that tristan's actually really academically smart (and lowkey a ravenclaw like you but chilton screams ravenclaw so maybe im projecting here), he just doesn't use his potential. but i think you could give him a little nudge in the right direction- the art gallery dates and the fact that he's constantly looking over your shoulder at your books helps.

tristan loves making out. like i cannot express enough how much he adores it. so the physical touch love language plays out really well- i think he struggles a bit more with quality time cause he uses a sort of mischevious persona some of the time to hide his genuine qualities. but you'd probably develop some banter, you'd ask him questions and he'd answer (whether he's a good liar or not is up to you), and thats how you'd grow close. he'd also carry your poetry books everywhere and he'd be really sad if your moon phases didnt fit together (like the tiktok trend lmao).

also just the entirety of gilmore girls is so autumn so right away, assuming you lived in stars hollow, tristan would pretend to hate all the autumn events but he'd secretly love them (he probably got lots of attention from ms patty).

idk if you'll like this or not but i genuinely think tristan's a good guy, albeit one with bad boundaries (but he's also like really rich so it kinda makes sense). i really wish rory had gotten a chance to date him in the show tbh, he had so much potential.

[jennyandvastraflint]

Very glad you rebloged the ask game, I was hoping you would :D I hope you don't mind that I am sending too many questions. Just pick whichever ones you'd like to answer!

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about Your beauty never ever scared me? Answer it now!

(11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

just kidding, I know the answer to this one but feel free to talk about them anyway <3)

20. If you wrote a prequel to Lizard Queen, what would it involve?

22. Who is your favorite character in The Knight and the Dragon and why?

47. If the pirate/mermaid AU (all together or each part on their own) was a pair of shoes, what kind would it be? Describe the shoes.

and

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

So I'll be guided towards the next thing to read again ;)

Thank you so much!!

Okay, let's see!

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about Your beauty never ever scared me? Answer it now!

I think the inspiration for it in the first place! I technically wanted to write a Beauty and the Beast-inspired story, but halfway through planning I abandoned a lot of these aspects in favour of including a bunch of characters as cameos. (I kept the rose, though it had a different use.) It was very intriguing to explore a human curse (something I've now explored a bit, but always from Jenny's POV, as I realise. I'll shed light on Vastra's POV at some point in a different fic I think)

(11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is? Okay we all know I'm extremely partial to my wives XDD I *will* make everything about them (yes ik it's annoying <3 But this is my account heheh), and will include them even in other works for a bit at least. It is 100% because I relate a lot to many aspects of them - the fun of Jenny's horrible parents, queerness, and the isolation they both feel to name some of them - and I'm well-aware of it XD Also my brain chose them as my special interest years agooo.)

20. If you wrote a prequel to Lizard Queen, what would it involve?

Oh, I have two answers for this... Either Vastra getting cursed in the first place and navigating life as a tiny lizard (maybe she meets Strax somehow just because.), OR the story of Jenny's mother and what happened to her. (As a sequel, I'd look at Vastra finding the ruins of her realm.)

22. Who is your favorite character in The Knight and the Dragon and why?

I'm obviously in no way biased because a) I wrote it and b) it has the wives, and since choosing either of them feels like cheating, I'm gonna say... Out of the rest of the cast, Ada? I think. I loved bringing her character to life in a different setting, especially since she's a character I very rarely see anywhere (and she had potentialll!!!) Her story can be adapted beautifully, and I feel like she would flourish with a job or hobby like that, working with herbs and healing. I'm definitely going to include her in Turn Loose the Mermaids btw!

47. If the pirate/mermaid AU (all together or each part on their own) was a pair of shoes, what kind would it be? Describe the shoes.

You really went with this one, hu... Okay, I'm thinking leather boots, worn, been through quite a lot, but very solid shoes you can always rely on. They're a pretty inconspicuous brown, a bit broken in parts but fixed up. They go almost up to your knee, hugging your legs very comfortably. They're also padded so they keep you warm in even the darkest winter nights. The laces on the sides have been added later to help the boots stay together, and they have beautiful jewels in different shades of green on the side that shimmer in the sun.

I hope you like this description!! XD

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

I have a bunch for this, I think XDD (Especially since archive-locking my fics my kudos have declined a lottt)

The first one would be A Lonely Place, which is a sort of Fantasy AU for the Paternoster Gang! I love how I came to explore pollution and environmental destruction in it, and also how Jenny and Vastra - in this at least - reluctantly grew closer. (Please they are such disasters especially in the beginning)

Then my Turn Loose the Mermaids series in which Jenny's family are a bunch of shitty scammer pirates, and Vastra is a mermaid (and later can shift). The first two parts are out rn, and I hope to write more of it soon-ish (uni is killing me I'm so sorry)

There'd also be my winter rose in which one Silurian goes splash in a river when it's very cold :D I love how that literally was my prompt for writing it...

And last but not least, I want Popcorn to get some more views! It's a Strax-centric fic (I knoooow, there's not much interest in that, but give my boy (gn) some love) set shortly after Demons Run, and it takes a look at Strax dealing with silence and peace after... well, a lifetime spent only in war zones? The Doctor gives him a way to cope with that, but it escalates a little. It was I think my first full Strax-POV fic, and he honestly has such a unique and intriguing view (which I wish Big Finish would explore instead of once again reducting Strax to comedic relief like the show already did :/)

Yeah, I think that's about it for now? I can't think of more specifically for this, but I'm leaving you a few more recommendations I think you might like! Rapid Fireee

you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be

The Case of the Egg Thief

Sick fics for Jenny being sick (watch you sleep.), and Vastra being sick (Sleepy little darling, snuggle in tight) respectively!

Meeting Torchwood Paternosters meet vicious, sadistic Torchwood sapphics from Victorian England!

Right, I'll end this here now (it may have taken me almost the entire lecture btw to write this while paying attention as well) and I hope you are satistifed with all these answersss

[badartxd]

OK OK SO! for the romance post, do please kindly feed me informations about 13, 16, 18, 24, 25 for Yara my beloved? 8D if you let me, I'll come back and ask more! I was going to be terrible and send the entire list. ALSO also I think i remember seeing a picrew of Yara with an aro badge so can I ask a little more about that and how that plays into her relationship with Zevvo? 8D 8D 8D hope you have a fantastic day friendo!!

Hihihi! I’m super late but hiiii

13. How do they react at being away from each other?

Yearning. Yara is very anxious, given that she’s never left anyone and come back to them being alive and well, and I think that Zevran has his own baggage in that regard as well, not being close to a lot of people throughout his life and all, so I think they’d have letters and gifts galore in the times that they were away. It probably doesn’t help that in Yara’s case, things being off schedule/late freak her out, and she’s very much in the zone of getting worried enough to go off to kill everyone needed herself. Unsubtle, really.

I imagine that during Awakening, Yara would just constantly bemoan the lack of his presence when encountering locked objects.

Yara, kicking open a massive chest: “Ahh, I miss my husband. He’s so good with his hands 😔”

She also keeps just.. buying pretty things, so the Gang in Amaranthine would constantly see her buy herself really pretty, completely uncharacteristic things for ludicrous amount of money. She gathers a bit of a stash of things that were too expensive/large to mail him. Zevran is buried in gifts, but doesn’t have the heart to tell her to stop.

16 Jealous at all?

A little, but not much. Nothing they would want to show, though. I don’t think Zevran is a jealous sort, and Yara herself is confident enough, both in herself and Zevran, to not worry about other people. She’s the “yeah, we are both hot. Look don’t touch 😌” sort. I’m genuinely not certain if they would entertain poly leaning endeavours, but it’s not out of the question, either.

18 Is there any way they disappoint each other?

Answered here

25 Share any headcanons about their relationship

I’m high key struggling with a non specific question lol I’m sorry. I may edit this when I come up with something tho!!