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joocin-thebox · 10 months

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me: ranting about mlp g5 and its continuity errors and world building logistics

my friends who are subjected to my long winded complaints:

its too many thoughts too many tags i realize so they're going here YAY

complaints and spoilers for up to chapter 6 of make your mark below!

ND formatting bc i see walls of text and i die!

again: who cares if g4 is the history??

like whatever that is so cool i love that idea! made me so excited!! but the entirety of g5 is unintentionally undoing everything they allegedly set up between g4 and g5

im just confused as to why have 6 whole chapters of 'we are strengthening the magic twilight made!' and then 'well its all gone!'

i GET that its... you know... not the worst thing and its not bad on its own, that's totally fine, i just

personally i think it could have gone a better route with a better finale (not that chapter 6 is the finale) :/ opaline was a villain with lots of potential but horrible execution. reduced to comedic relief villain that randomly actually takes her motivations seriously! she was lazy for 6 whole chapters, until a halloween episode and suddenly!! she's a little less lazy! yay!? no depth to her character whatsoever. she was jealous of celestia and luna and apparently she wasnt even a fire alicorn to begin with???

i think having most of make your mark into a summarized exposition for the inital movie, would have set up something a bit better for opaline as a villain and our characters as heros! the "we did it mrs obama, we got rid of pony racism!" is so... stupid i think that idea was bad and that's okay bad ideas are fine to have, but imagine opaline being a villain in the movie instead of not being relevant at all!

we get introduced to all of our main characters right off the bat, and focus on opaline's peak and fall as a villain so we have our central antagonist, because the preaching of unity imo goes ultimately no where. i like the idea of "when you have friends, you're never truly alone", but at the same time... them splitting up to defend their own homes when they could defeat opaline together as a unit makes so much more sense and its the reason they lost! they were not as united as they claimed! they're not even symbols of unity, in the slightest!

in their defense, all bg ponies are dumb as rocks, so :/ go figure no one would actually stand behind the "keepers of the crystals" even in times of need

make your mark could have been about ensuring opaline didn't return, exploring new kinds of magic, deepening bonds within our main cast and with our main cast and their other relationships, creating character we can care about their success instead of expecting deus ex magica to fix everything for them! giving them a reason and a will to fight, give their friendship and confidence boost speeches weight. make ANYTHING mean something. and you can have "filler" and non-lore related episodes in that and still have a good story! i literally know its possible... g4 did it... but g5 main case dont really grow as characters, i mean, Zipp is allegedly supposed to be training to be queen or preparing for it, and yet we never see that. We know she doesnt want to, but we know she might have to. You could literally parallel a Frozen dynamic where the older sister gives up her reign just because she can!

We could see Pipp train to be queen, Zipp becoming queen like accidentally, or someone new entirely trying to take over Zephyr heights as a low stakes antagonist. (like sprout)

We could have a potential Opaline reform, or attempt at reform that ultimately fails and we seal her away for good! it would give her a chance because Sunny seems like the type to at least give anyone a chance.

I talked with a friend and was like 'oh instead of introducing sparky during mym, introduce him in the movie as a dragon egg opaline had captured and he had hatched DURING the movie, and hitch could have rescued him and maybe felt a greater attachment bc he SAVED sparky from possible death!! kids like drama and angst too! it doesnt have to be cushy, i mean shit chapter 6 pushes the envelope a little bit i think!

i could literally think up what kind of story beats and what we could have done all night for g5,

except for tell your tale.... 5 min youtube shorts that sometimes have an explanation for mym details is unforgivable and needs to just be gonezo. a lot of people have netflix. share mym clips on youtube if you need to so badly. or, if you have to tyt so bad, dont have them do things... that never get explained in mym... or have tyt be a sub product of mym, where something happened in this mym chapter, oh we will lightly reference it in tyt! but tyt is more focused on lighter character bonding or even background characters! like holy shit! the possibilites!!

watch me make a "what we could have done better: mlp:ang" video with my shitty mic and piss poor editing abilities! i stg.... im inspired... i have so much hope for this show but it has just... it falls a little flat where it could be greater!

and dont get me wrong! g5 has a lot of great moments! i like the relationship hitch and misty have, despite how they barely ever talk to each other in the show (sunny, zipp, and pipp are our REAL main characters, lets me real)

i love the sisters' relationship with each other, i love how izzy and pipp are creatives of different types, how hitch and zipp are sleuths of different types, how they're protective and reluctant in similar ways, i like how sunny always wants to inspire others and is kind of sassy and lowkey shades ponies when she's trying to give the good word. I love all that stuff. its not as bad as i tend to make it seem because im a world class hater but g5 is not BAD, i just think it could be BETTER

honestly i could even just put my ideas into an au... a fix it au... hmmm.... thinks?? thinks hard??

#ik they dont care #but like i am #i have such strong opinions bc they [g5] wants to meat ride g4 like their life depends on it #it pisses me off #like have an original stand alone story #who cares if g4 is the history #i think kids should have stories to grow up with that are decently good #mlp inspired me to be an artist and somewhat a story teller #mlp g5 could inspire someone to do better but like #why not just give kids something good #mlp g5 #my little pony a new generation #talks #mlp talks

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zmayadw · 3 years

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Hello, hello :)

It's time to continue the story, so here is the next part.

Wish you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 21

It was Sunday. The light rain was drizzling from the morning, making the day feel even more lazy, and my mood was the same. Jake was at his laptop, as usual. I didnt feel like working today. I tried reading a book i downloaded months ago, but i wasnt focused enough for it also. I had my headphones on, not to distract Jake with music, and just messed arround on my laptop. As i hummed silently the words of a song that was playing, my headphones wer suddenly thrown from my ears by him. „Get dressed!“ he said to me, walking quickly back to the desk, taking some stuff and throwing them in his backpack. „Jake?“ I was confused, but he just shot me a sideway look and said more fiercly „Maya, get up and get dressed! Now!“ I was dressed already, i just needed to put my sneakers and a jacket on. As i was done, he tossed me my phone „Call Jessy, tell her we'll be there in 10 minutes, and that i need Dans help.“ He said and now i was even more confused. „Jake, whats going on?“ He didnt answer me, just continued taking the stuff, turning to his laptop and typing something on it. „Jake!“ i yelled. He finaly turned to me, throwing his backpack over his shoulder „I got it!“ „You got what?“ i asked now totaly confused, and a bit annoyed with those vague answers. He smirked, some new glow showing in his eyes „Where the calls are coming from.“ His words left me breathless. Can this really be? Are we finaly gonna get to the bottom of this all? My heart was beating like crazy, as Jake words snaped my attention back. He was holding the doors of the room open „Maya, move!“

I called Jessy once we wer in the car, explaining all to her, and she said Dan will wait for us outside. „You do know you're staying with Jessy, right?“ Jake said to me. „Yes, i kinda had a hunch you wont let me come with you.“ i said a bit dissapointed. „Maya, we have no clue what we're gonna find. I just need you to stay with her. I cant worry about you while we're there.“ „I know. Just promise me you'll be careful, too.“ „Ofcourse.“ He said. „Take my backpack.“ He told me „You'll find a white box in it, get it.“ I turned to the back seat taking his backpack and doing as he told me. I took the box out „What is it?“ i asked as i opened it. There was a phone in it, similar to the one he had. „Its my old phone. You're gonna use it. Its encrypted, so you wont recive any strange calls on it.“ „Oh, ok.“ I said. „And, yes, before you ask, im tracking that one, too.“ He said with a grin. „Ofcourse you are.“ I replied with a grin myself. He got serious on me „I just need to know i can find you if something happens. So, please, promise me you will always keep it with you.“ „I promise.“

Dan was waiting outside for us. I started to leave the car, when Jake pulled me back for a kiss „See you soon.“ I smiled, and left the car, letting Dan take my place. Jake raised his eyebrow at him as he sat in, since Dan was holding a baseball bat. „Hey, better be safe then sorry, man.“ Dan told him, closing the doors. „Come, Maya, i'll make us some coffee.“ Jessy said to me, as i watched Jake drive away, feeling of both excitement and fear mixing in me.

Jakes POV

„You all right there, Dan?“ i asked him. He was clenching that bat so hard. „Yeah, man, guess adrenalin is kicking in.“ I could relate to that. „You sure you're going in the right direction?“ he asked. „Yes, why?“ „We're close to leaving Duskwood. I tought you said the calls came from within Duskwood.“ They were. „Are there any buildings in this area?“ „Yeah, man, but it's just an abandoned warehouse. It's huge and been deserted for years.“ Dan said. „Perfect for hiding.“ I told him. „True.“ He said. „See that gravel path there? Take it, it will lead us to the entrance.“ Dan instructed me. After a while, we came at the warehous. There was a fence all over it, but visibly torn at various spots. „At least we wont have problems getting in.“ Dan said as we left the car. I took my backpack from the back seat. Opening it, i took out my knife, Dan eyeing me, but not saying a word about it. I threw my backpack over my shoulders. The rain started falling harder, so I pulled my hood on, turning to Dan „Lets go.“

„How are we gonna know where to go look at?“ Dan asked as we passed the fence. The place was huge, so his question was valid. I took my phone out, tapping on it and showing it to him „With this.“ He looked at it, a red dot blinking on the screen, showing wich direction we should go. „It will get us to the right building.“ „Good“ he siad „I dont want to be roaming here in vain. This place gives me goosebumps, man. You could definitely make a horror movie here.“ He said teasingly, but i could see he was being nervous. And he wasnt wrong, the place did look eerie. It was long deserted. Graffiti on the walls, some half torn from plasters missing, manny windows broken or dirty from the influence of time. Beside our footsteps, the only sound heard was the occasional dripping of water from the rain, falling on some meatl. And the sound of ravens cawing in the distance. How convenient, i tought. My phone beeped „This is it.“ I told Dan, pointing at the building a few feet from us to our right. Dan clenched his bat tighter again, and my hand automatically went for my waist, grabbing the knifes handle tightly, as we neared the building. „Allright“ Dan said „Lets find a way in.“

Mayas POV

I was nervously clicking on the phone Jake gave me, as Jessy settled a coffee cup infront of me. „Maya, the phone works fine. Stop checking it every thirty seconds.“ I smiled at her forcedly „Sorry, i'm just nervous as hell.“ I said, my leg bouncing uncontrollably under the table. „I get it, im nervous , too. But they barely left, it wont be some time till we might hear anything.“ She told me, and i knew she was right. „I know Jessy, but im getting a bad vibe about this.“ I said. „I hope its just my nervousness kicking in, but theres some terrible feeling creeping at me that something bad will happen.“ Jessy looked at me serious, fear creeping to her face now „I hope you're wrong.“ I looked at her, that bad feeling kicking me in the gut „Me too, Jessy.“

Jakes POV

Getting in wasnt a problem. We found a door on the side of the building, with the chain that was suppose to keep it closed, cut. Pushing it open, the sound of old doors creaking filled the place, and I cursed under my breath. There goes the element of surprise. It was quite dark inside, barely any light came in from the windows, full of dust, spiderwebs and old newspapers. Dan took his phone out turning the flashlight on and about to light up they way infront of us, but i stopped his hand. „Better not“ i said with hushed voice„We announced our presence enough allready.“ He looked at me, turning the flashlight off and putting the phone back to his pocket. „Right, sorry, man.“ We continued further slowly, letting our eyes adjust to the increasing darkness. The hallway leading us deeper in had doors appearing on each side every few feet, but all the rooms wer empty. I was getting desperate already, when suddenly Dan stopped me, pointing at the doors further in that i couldnt see good from where i stood. I moved to where Dan was, my heart starting to beat faster. There was a flicker of light coming from the doors that were ajar. We moved towards it, still checking the rest of the rooms on the way. Stopping in front of it, Dan slowly pushed the doors, opening them fully. The room was empty, except for a table at the opposite end of it. We moved towards it, Dan turning to me with eyes open wide „What the hell..“ There was a laptop on the desk, a program running on it, with a phone connected to it. But that wasnt what made Dan shocked. What shocked him, and got me boiling with rage wer the pictures thrown all over the desk. Pictures of Maya. One caught my eye immediately. I picked it up from the desk. It was from the day she got out of hospital. Sitting at the square, carelessly lost in her toughts. I knew the picture well, i had similar on my phone myself. I took it secretly, seeing her that day, before going to talk to her. She looked so beautiful, i just couldnt resist. But the tought of someone else was watching her that day, or any other day got me furious. „What the hell is going on here?“ Dan asked, but i was equally confused as him. I lowered the picture down, looking at the laptop in front of me. „Lets see what i can find.“

Dan was nervously tapping his foot standing next to me. „Can you please stop that?“ i told him, a bit annoyed. „Sorry, man.“ He said, constantly turning his head arround, scaning the room . His gaze stopped on the door leading to another room from this one „I'll go snoop arround.“ He started going for the door. „Be careful.“ I said, and he turned to me with a grin „Aww, you care fore me, man.“ I looked at him with a raised eyebrow „No, but i am scared of what Jessy might do to me if something happens to you.“ He laughed and continued towards the door. I focused back on the laptop. I just needed to find one little thing, anything that might shed some light to all of this, my eyes jumping all over the screen. I got interrupted by the noise coming from the room Dan went in. „Dan, you ok there?“ i yelled, my eyes still glued to the screen, but there was no answer. I straightened and turned towards the door. „Dan?“ i tried again, but nothing. Shit, what was he doing there. I walked towards the room. There was some more light pouring in, so i had no problem seeing Dan sprawled on the floor, unconscious. I started to ran to him, but the moment i stepped in, a blow to the head sent me down on my knees. Fuck, how could i just rush in so stupidly. I leaned on my palms, trying to shake off the dizziness. My sight got blurry, as i tried to move my head to look at the person standing above me. „You cant save her, boy. She will die.“ A sinister voice spat the words in my ear, sending chills through me, before another blow sent me face flat to the ground, all going dark on me.

Opening my eyes, Dan was hovering above me, looking worryingly at me. I was laying on my back and my head was pounding like crazy. „Welcome back.“ He said to me, extending his arm to help me up. Getting up just made my head pound even more and i got dizzy. I leaned on the wall steadying myself, Dan eyeing me. „You all right there, man?“ „Yeah, just give me a minute.“ Every move i made just made my head pound more and more. One blow to the head, i could manage. But two is a bit too much. I moved slowly back to the other room, with my shoulder still leaning on the wall. All was gone, the desk was cleared from everything. „Shit“ Dan cursed at the sight. But It didnt matter, there was nothing important on that laptop eitherway. „This means we can finaly leave this shit place?“ he asked. „Definatly.“ I said, taking the car keys from my pocket. „But i think it will be better if you drive.“

It was dark already when we left the building and headed back to the car. I was still feeling dizzy and with my head pounding so badly I had to focus hard not to loose my footing. „What are we gonna tell the girls, man?“ Dan asked as we finaly came to the car. I sat in, lowering the seat back as much as possible „The truth.“ I told him. „Damn it, this wont go easy on them, especialy on Maya.“ He said, as he started driving. The gravel path we took coming here made the car jumpy, and i felt every little stone, my head wanting to explode. „Indeed.“ I was scared how she will take all this. Last time was already hard on her. And this shit got serious now, i just hope she wont loose it completly this time.

„Come on, man.“ Dan said to me, as i opened my eyes, realizing we came back to his place. I got the seat back up, and left the car slowly. We went inside, heading for the kitchen. I heard Jessys voice as she saw Dan „Finaly!“ Maya was already on her feet running to me. She almost knocked me down, crushing full speed at me hugging me tightly. I smiled and hugged her back as tight as i could. She finaly looked at me, her face terrified. „I'm fine.“ I said to her. „Fine?“ she said worringly „That definatly doesnt look 'fine', Jake.“ Her fingers gently brushed the top right side of my forehead, and i vinced. There was a cut I havent noticed by now, with some dried blood arround it. „What happened?“ Jessy asked worryingly, as Dan settled glasses and a bottle of whiskey on the table. „We wer...surprised.“ he told her, as he opened the fridge, taking a bag of frozen vegetables, putting it at the back of his head. I just wanted to sit down, so i started towards the table, but the dizziness got back again. I leaned against the door frame, and just slid down, sitting on the floor. „Jake!“ Maya exclimed, crouching next to me. „I'm fine.“ I reasured her, but i knew she didnt belive me. And lets face it, i wasnt fine. „He needs to lay down“ Dan said „He looks like he might have concussion.“ „You're staying here tonight.“ Jessy said firmly „I'm not letting you drive to the motel now.“ „Indeed.“ Dan added, walking to us. „Alrigh, man“ he said, grabing me under my arm and getting me up. „ Let's get you to bed.“

„Here, drink this.“ I opened my eyes. She looked so worried, her eyes tired. „Im fine, Maya“ i told her, taking the painkillers and water from her. „Can you please stop saying that. You are not fine!“ „I am, now that im back here with you.“ I said smiling, trying to calm her down. „Jake! Can you be serious for a moment, please.“ I looked at her, barely managing to keep my eyes open. „I am serious.“ I said, and before she could say anything more i added „But, can we please talk about all this tomorrow? I could really use some rest.“ She tensed a bit, guilt showing on her face. „Ofcourse, sorry, i'll let you get some sleep .“ She said, taking the glass from me, and getting up. I stopped her, taking her hand, my eyes closing now on their own. „Stay.“ I said, my hand slipping from hers, I barely had any strenght left in me to stay awake. I felt the bed shift, and her hand gently brushing through my hair. She kissed me softly „Sleep now, i'm right here.“ I smiled, falling asleep in a heartbeat.

#duskwood #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #duskwood jessy #duskwood dan #duskwood jake x mc

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violetnotez · 5 years

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Big Bro Dabi- (PLATONIC) Dabi x Reader

Anonymous: I saw request were opened and i wanted to request a dabi related one. It could be HC or a short story its all up to you, but what about the reader kinda of being a little sister to dabi? (Not by blood ) like she was a villain herself in the league and dabi and her get close and form a close brother sister bond, but after a mission shes left behind and captured by the heros what happens from there is up to you! But i always wanted to see how dabi would be in the role of a big bro

Omg anon this is such a cool idea I read this and I am completely in love with a big brother Dabi!!!

I broke this up into a mini fic, HC, and then the request is at the bottom (cause I may or may not have gone a little overboard with the idea *u*)

Also- this is a completely PLATONIC bother and sister relationship between y/n and Dabi, nothing romantic at all!

(RULES | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

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How You Met:

“Don't touch me!” the girl pleaded frantically, her hands and face covered in dirt and soot, her clothes tattered.

Dani stared at her terrified face, confusion riddled in his brows.

She didn’t look scared of him, no-she was scared of herself. Her arms were riddled with cuts and bruises from her quirk-she obviously didn’t have control over it.

A memory flitted into his body, making his body cringe from pain-he remembered when he couldn’t control his quirk, the effects of that permanently set into his skin.

He looked at the girl, empathy he hadn’t felt in a very long time filling his stomach. He crouched down, holding out a scarred hand.

The girl stared at him with shocked, tear stained eyes.

“Didn’t you listen to me?!?” you yelled, panic in your voice, “I said don’t touch me-I’m dangerous!”

“What’s so bad about being dangerous?” Dabi questioned, making you go silent.

“Your quirk isn’t a bad thing,” he continued, “it’s just powerful.”

He gave himself a small minute to think-if you could join the League and control that quirk of yours, you could be a good asset to the team. It was powerful, and even though you didnt have a handle on it right now, didnt mean you couldnt learn how to.

“Come with me,” he commanded gently, “I can help you-you won’t hurt yourself anymore.”

You kept staring at his hand, the purple skin becoming a blur in your tears.

“But I’ll hurt you.”

He chuckled darkly, shaking his head.

“You won’t-you see how scarred my skin is? That’s because I couldn’t control my quirk either-the scarred skin doesn’t feel sensations all too well. But I learned though, and I'm fine. And you will too-just take my hand. I promise you’ll be okay.”

You stared at his face, your chest heavily slightly with the comforting thought of being with someone who finally wanted to help you, and who understood what you were going through.

You slowly took his hand, allowing him to help you from the ground.

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Big Brother Dabi HC

Nobody knew how overprotective Dabi would be

He’s very good at giving you space, but if he sees any man so much as glance at you

He is going to give them a glare that could kill

It probably can

Pray for the boys that try to flirt or ask you out

You will have to literally restrain Dabi because he will want to char them to a crisp

Is a total dick all the time

Like he will randomly snatch up your phone and hold it up because he is a GIANT and smirk at you as you try and get it back

Will scold you for using cuss words but will use them himself

Hates seeing you cry- he will let you cry in peace first and then come after with your fav food and will listen to what’s wrong

If somebody actually made you cry- Jesus Christ he will find them and hurt them so bad they will have to go to the ER

This man dont play around

You and Toga will most likely be super close like sisters and all three of you will be wrecking havoc

You and Toga have begged Dabi to let you two do his makeup

Always tells you straight up “Hell no”

Doesn’t mean you won’t put it on his face when he sleeps right?

Almost burnt your face off when he woke up and found himself gliterry eyeliner and lipstick

Asks you for help when he dyes his hair and you have to get a step stool to reach his head

He is so TALLLLL

Is constantly forcing you to train

He knows you hate it and he isn’t very fond of it either but it’s good bonding time

But he’s just terrified he’ll lose you in battle one day and he can’t even stand the idea of it

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FIC: Getting Taken Hostage By the Heroes

“Holy shit-Dabi!” you gasped, pointing at the bodies coming towards you ,the sound of poilce sirens filling the air.

Dabi followed your outstretched finger, seeing why you were so worried- you two had been cornered in a matter of seconds.

“How the hell did they figure out our plan?” Dabi asked as you both broke out in a run, trying to get hidden in the trees of the forest you were currently in.

Shigaraki had split up the League earlier in order to get a better success of the mission- Him and Black Mist would be giving commands, while Toga and Twice actually went in to do the dirty work of the mission. All you and Dabi had to do was keep watch outside, something you both found insignificant and boring. But you didn't expect the police to show up, let alone the Heroes.

“How the hell- am I supposed to know?!” you panted, trying to keep up with Dabi’s pace. “We just need to get out-”

Footsteps were getting louder behind you, shouts of the Heroes trying to follow your path making your heart beat reverently against your rib cage. You didn't want to think about getting caught by the heroes- you knew they couldn't do anything to harm you, it was against their whole moral basis for their profession, but the thought of going on trial and dealing with not being free to do what you wanted made your spine shiver. You would never let somebody control your life- you’d rather die than do that.

Dabi kept on running, the night making it hard to see in front of him. He secretly felt grateful for having such a tall stature, because he was able to run quickly and get some distance with the heroes. You, though, weren't so lucky- he was hoping that you were holding up and able to follow him, even if you had a hard time keeping up. The heroes sounded to be getting closer, and he couldn't help but feel a small jolt of fear: if they caught him or you, you both would be done for, and he couldn't stand the idea of you getting caught-

A scream filled the night air, making his blood run cold.

“DABI!” you shrieked, feeling a rough hand wrap around your arm. One of the heroes had finally caught up to you, using his powerful strength to pull you from running back to Dabi.

Dabi swiveled around, unable to find you. God damn it- he should have checked to make sure you were right behind him. What the hell was he thinking? Dabi cursed at himself, panic and fury filling in his stomach as he heard his name being screamed again.

He looked at the trees, trying to figure out which opening would lead to you. Why the hell did you have to get caught?

He quickly decided on a direction, going into a sprint as anger began to rise in his stomach. Whoever caught you and was making you that scared was going to fucking pay- nobody hurt the people he loved.

Dabi had begun to regard you like a sister, seeing alot of himself in you: you at first had trouble controlling your quirk, making you feel terrified of yourself and weak. But as he began to train you, he realized he found himself growing to like you: you were snarky, sarcastic as hell, and silly enough to even make him chuckle a little. You were beginning to be something of a little sister to him, and he was willing to do anything to protect you.

“Stop squirming!” the hero commanded, his strength making your arm begin to tingle with pain.

“Go to hell!” you spat back, not caring you were being disrespectful.

“DABI!” you screamed again, continuing to fight against the hero. You felt trapped, like a prey getting caught by a predator.

You heard another pair of feet run behind you, your heart sinking seeing that they were not Dabi’s but yet another Hero.

“You caught one of them?” the new comer asked, making you shoot daggers into their eyes.

“Yes, but she’s not cooperating,” the other struggled to say as you fought against their grip.

The new Hero looked at your with scorn, your desperate attempts to flee making him frown.

“Maybe some time at the station will make them calm down,” they commented, the other nodding in agreement.

You eyes became wide with fear, your stomach feeling heavy.

“Your both fucking hilarious, thinking I’m going to go there! Your asses are going to be dead!” you retorted, making them both a little shocked you would so outright cuss them out.

“I’d watch your mouth-”

“Lets just take her!” the other interrupted his comrade, the latter grunting in distatse as they began to drag you away.

Fear erupted in your stomach as you were unable to get yourself away from the Heroes. You refused to get taken by them- you weren't going without a fight. You began clawing and kicking like an animal, not caring you were most likely hurting the Hero.

“Dabi! DABI!” you screamed out again- he wasnt that far away when you had gotten caught- he was okay right?- he heard you, didnt he?- he couldnt have gotten caught-

The new comer looked back, throwing a confused dirty look at your struggling form. “Who is she even calling to?”

The hero holding onto you stopped abruptly, looking at a figure in front of him.

The other noticed his sudden change, looking over his shoulder to find himself face to face with Dabi, his lazy smirk sending a wave of comfort to envelope your body.

“She’s calling for me,” he answered, his voice steady and strong. “Now, if you let her ago, you two wont get hurt- that bad.”

“You really think we’d give up that easy?! You’re crazy,” the newcomer retorted, taking on a battle stance.

You stared at Dabi, the pain in your arm pulsing as you watched his expression. Fear began to ripple inside you- to anyone who saw Dabi, he looked calm and collected- bored even. But you knew him too well- the clench in his jaw and the fire in his eyes told you he was furious, and when he was furious, he wasnt afraid to kill.

“Alright,” he shrugged, rolling his eyes, “suit yourself.”

Just then, you felt the intense grip on your arm release, the hero cryng out in pain as his arm became painted with his own blood. You looked to your side, hearing the manic giggles of Toga as she hide in the trees, her knives glinting in the moonlight. Twice then tackled the latter Hero, making them curse as they fought with the multitude of clones he created.

A smile enveloped on your face- you were safe. Your friends had your back.

Your vision became to froth with purple and black mist, knowing full well that Kurogiri was close by as your body began to sink into his portal-like quirk. You noticed the others began to do the same, Toga slinking in to her own with a love sink grin with Twice following behind.

Only Dabi didnt step into his own.

Just before you fully submerged, you watched Dabi look at the battered heroes with hatred. He raised his scarred hand, your vision turning a dangerous color of fiery blue as he activated his quirk, painting the night icy white.

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slidewhistlebj · 4 years

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TUA Season 2 is finally here! I think it was a really cool season with some really awesome potential, but there are some parts that I think really didn’t work and this is how i think they should have been fixed

(Spoilers for Season 2 of the Umbrella Academy. Obviously)

i think landing the siblings in different years was amazing, they got time to explore themselves and we could see their personalities through what they did

On the other hand, they didnt devote enough time to those storylines so it never felt like they had a solid purpose (for most of the siblings), it was more to show “time has passed”

How did Luther end up boxing under a gangster? How is he adjusting to no dad, no academy?? He was alone on the moon, He was left behind by his siblings in the academy, now he is alone and in a whole other *time* like i wanna hear about that!

Klaus has mansion and a cult and had a girlfriend benefactor lady?? Like: lets get into that! if the show wants humor that can be amazing

but it can also be really interesting and deep for exploring klaus’s need for both personal space (physically and somewhat emotionally) yet also his need for positive attention from whoever will give it to him!

More on that alone now track: the opening scene with their fighting was built to get us hyped

it fucking worked, that shit was amazing

but along with wishing that we saw more of their individual stories, i wish some of their growth had been gradual

like Klaus should have been showing off ghost stuff with his cult which is part of why they follow him which would set up his new ability to summon and conjure multiple ghosts at a time

instead of it being a throw away scene at the end where he gets caught

or Diego could have been shown in his ‘alone in dallas’ storyline to be trying to escape multiple times from the asylum and in that, figuring out his ability to start affecting other peoples shots at him, etc

Stuff like that would have been a great way to both dive into the characters *and* ramp up their abilities

Moving onto The Commission who i absolutely love so so much

Hell yeah u funky lil time-space assassins

I think that the Handler should have stayed dead

her return to the show while awesome (because she is played so well by her actress) continues this problem for the show of seemingly running in place where things dont have consequences like they should

I also think her return made a very campy feel to certain parts which is fine, the story should have fun! but it doesnt fit with the vibe very well with the other more serious plots

Imagine a storyline where the Handler is replaced by Carmichael, a competent replacement with no close personal relationship to Five

A head to head show down throughout the season of Five trying to outthink and outwit Carmichael and Commission Agents to get a briefcase

The misdirects!

The drama!

The action sequences and reveals!

More Screen Time for the Cool Ass Talking Fish 2k20!

All of which culminates in the board of directors scene but now with real weight behind it for the audience because we have been watching these two face off with one another for a season of build up

LET FIVE EAT THE FISH!

Giving that scene to the handler was the worst part of the whole season, u cant change my mind bros

This would also open up Lila to be more of her own person

Her storyline would change without the Handler there so that instead of being actively manipulated by the Handler, she has gone rogue from the commission to kill Five for her parents deaths due to previous planning and programming from her mother

(its only been 14 days for Five, a very normal turn around for him to desert, have the Handler tell Lila her version of the story, get killed, and have Lila get ready to take him down)

its generally the same plot, but Lila is more in the drivers seat

Going from tagging along with Diego in the hopes that Five returns for him to questioning some of her commitment to her mission as she spending time with them, etc

it could culminate in a reveal of her mother to Five and Diego and then a redemption where she helps them get a case from Carmichael in someway, looping her into the main plot in an important way with generally the same story

but skipping the pretty basic “obviously evil character is obviously evil but hero doesn't see it” trope that they fell into

I think that Luther’s arc in this season was awesome 10/10 gold standard

he was still him, but this storyline showcases the softer side of his loyalty and lets him grow from season 1 mistakes which is everything I hoped for

Comforting Vanya? Check

Being there for Five? Check

Being a voice of reason but still being a dumbass? Cheeeeeck

Diegos arc this season fell flat for me which was hard because he was such a main part of the plot

This whole season had a build-up trying to break down Diego’s need to be a hero (which they turned to a fucking 11 from last season?? he was not *this* intense last season, im not quite sure why they made the switch), telling him that he isnt / cant be the hero

I assumed this was leading to Diego having a big moment or sacrifice that proved that hero or not, he cares and the effort that he puts into all of these different things matters

But it just didnt??

He didnt stop the president from being assassinated, he didnt save vanya, at the farm he got trapped under a tractor

it just felt like the point was “haha see he isnt a hero”

which,,,,,,okay? What the point of that??

His involvement with the Commision was weird too, i didnt care for him being a part of that storyline very much, it just didnt add anything

Allison’s arc was just on the edge of greatness for me

it was an awesome choice to put in her in a position where she wasnt treated equally and show exactly what kind of person she is by how she fights back

her not using her rumors also seems very genuine and character based here like: 10/10 character motivations and work

My one complaint, like with just about all the partners in this season, is that she fell in love with a man and just had to leave him

which makes sense and they talk about it but like: she loves him, its hard to picture someone as loving and loyal as Allison just leaving her husband behind forever

Klaus’s arc just needed more *time*

He is a hella deep character but all of his story lines needed more time to be able to address that complexity

Show us more of the cult and his ghost powers being used there to trick and amaze and how he has been handling being cut off from the family again

I,,,,,,I understand,,,dave’s storyline

I get the time period

but fuck

that just hurts

I think Klaus not trying to rekindle his relationship with a younger Dave, but trying to protect him from the war was an amazing angle and it needed more time to get the full punch of klaus pulling out all the stops to save him but failing to really land it

Five

My Son

My Trash Boy

I feel like his job as ‘leader of the stop the apocalypse’ movement is good but that was his whole story this time around

He should have gotten more to play off of with the Commission (*cough cough* Carmichael) in his fight to get a briefcase instead of what felt like 10 hours of Five trying to herd his siblings and them just fucking up in someway or another

Five and Older Five was a cool dynamic and im glad they brought him in but again, it just felt like another long storyline attempt that didnt have a purpose as they ended the scene without the case or anything new

Ben’s arc was,,,,,strange

I love Ben and i think his interplay with Klaus is really cool!

But the writers made him fall in love which someone so they could give him a reason to want to possess Klaus which i feel like didnt need to happen

The possession was a good part of the season and could have been taken to some awesome places

It was rough and the ‘consent’ wasnt run entirely well but i think the possession is supposed to be on the line and not quite black and white

its Ben asking to take control of Klaus! That can be conflict! Thats good stuff right there! Ben is selfish! so is Klaus! thats a cool story to get into between them and see how they try to work it out

Ben wanting to connect with his other siblings after the small taste of being corporeal that he got and pushing Klaus for more and more of that freedom into possession territory would be A+ shit

and Finally: Vanya!

I think most amnesia plots are lazy and just a way to stall progress and reset a character so you can run a very similar plot again but this one seemed to genuinely grow Vanya’s character, even when she remembered

She definitely has more personality in this season

And while shes quiet, thats just who she is, she isnt as afraid to take space and speak up which is awesome!

And this stays when she gets her memory back which is very good, i dont want to see backsliding for no reason! Give me growth!

I have two complaints about her storyline though

First Sissy and Harlan

I love both of them and I think they are really cool characters!

Theyre pretty similar to vanya season 1, taking whatever is thrown at them which places Vanya in a more assertive position where she wants to protect them which i loved!

but their ending doesn't sit entirely right with me, just like Raymonds

These characters are in love and they all just leave each other so that the siblings can have a clean, no characters permanently added slate for the next season

it just makes me tired and i really want season 3 to have little to no romance if the only way the show can go about it is to do a love interest per season

My second problem gets its own section because it is the culmination of everything else i have said

episode ten

Vanya is strong af so any writer that wants big final fight needs to very carefully weigh out how to give each sibling their appropriately sized struggle so they get equal ability to contribute

Instead of doing that though, they did my least favorite trope: Evil Character secretly can do everything the heros can but better and without a problem or ***training***

It meant that they could do whatever they wanted with throwing commission agents at them because Luther, Allison, and Klaus were completely added on just to react to things

Five sort of got to do some fighting (<3 thats my lil geriatric 13 year old) but it was minor, he was mainly there to very obviously turn back time when the big bad shoot out happened

Diego got the most to do out of the siblings and it was suddenly knowing a new ability and doing it a little bit

I dont want a final fight to be trying to woo a bad guy to the good side because theyre too strong to fight

I want there to be stakes and drama as the siblings show off exactly what the season was all about, what they learned, how they grew together and apart, etc and to take down the big bad which could have very easily been the united front of the Commission instead of 18% Vanya, 15% Harlan, 30% Lila and the Handler, 20% the Swede(s), etc

Lila’s turn to good could have been to help them sneak attack the commission, maybe in their base so as to shrink the fighting to manageable bites for each character?

That would have allowed five’s killing of the board to draw the fighting to a close, a hard decision for him as he is trying to move away from killing but does so to save his family, always to save his family :’(

Luther could protect his siblings from hits like they showed at the beginning in a way that mirrors how he has been doing that emotionally all season

etc etc etc for all of the siblings so that they each get to show off and have their moment in the spotlight as heros

I loved the season even though i just ranted for like 3 pages, and it has some of the best one liners and line readings ever (”Thats where you come in Five” “Nope. No it isnt”) I just wish that some parts of it had been given some more thought / care so they could really show of the amazing cast, effects, sets, etc without writing in the way

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misterbitches · 3 years

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some thots. having a bad time so this is rougher than usual. oh well

....

i guess he really does know hiim best cos if that was my mans (man specifically cos if anyone else did that id take it more srsly) i would be like oh my god ur singing me a love song? i would love it but i woudl SCREAM in embarrassment. UNLESS it was a really deep love song that's about us dying together.

like i want to eat ur skin type of thing (drain u nirvana) lmaoa but i really like this song it reminds me of that velvet underground song (the only one i know cos of juno lmao) and nico or whatever 'i'm sticking with you)

my adhd would be out of fucking control i had to spend my time listening to this looking around i kept getting distracted by a tissue and thinking "wow this song is nice but i wish it would end bc i am getting distracted" and lo and behold i paused it and i have to pee and i know it's gonna take forever to undo this

ok about 12m later i turned it back on and they kissed and then he bit the corn then that night li chen also lost his virgin teas after watching gay porn and being like "hm interesting" and he'll be like "i see, ur dick is not medium sized"

i'm honestly gagging i cannot at this 12 year old marrying his mom

beautiful theyre beautiful

ayea you fucking psycho we do too because he was 17 and we had to witness it (or well, other people did cos i didnt watch the show even tho wayne song is [BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEP] and i want him to [BEEEEEEEP] and ppl even liked it which is fine like i get it in theory but they put this in my eyeballs so i'm gonna make fun of it bc it's fuckin DUMB lmao like i can't I CANNOT and he said "u were so persistent" BITCH UR 30??!?!???!?!?!?)capi hve it on mute and i tried to get a screencap of li chen and mu ren like together and not just his face but i cant find the timestamp and seeing their faces as they get married is literalyl traumattizing i'm like scremaing at my screen going "HE'S 5 HE'S 5 HE'S 5" and every time theyre like "we acn live forever together" like no bitch ur bones rae creaking

also is the officiator white? if anyone knows why or if that's common i'd love to know more. EDIT: HE ISN'T I JUST THOUGHT HE LOOKED LIKE MOBY FROM THAT ANGLE

anyway here

i'm almost done with this fucking bullshit and i am in a really ould mood and usu they make it a bit better but imo it's kind of....annoying i guess balancing all these story elements and introducin gother couples (even in the periphery) since the story in itself can't focus. i feel like all in all the time spent with these two is a lot more limited and we get the feel for the rship because of their chemistry as actors, irl chemistry as friends and colleagues, and hopefully being happy and working on a good set. so it isn't the strength of the writing or production.

for some reason they get like less dynamic ways of being together which i think is part of their charm, they do things their own way, but the writers really should have substantiated this more. it's really just the way everyone in the show has managed to deliver these AWFUL story lines and production decisions (like seriously who the fuck was on costume? lighting?)

like maybe hot take but all the moments that are cringe and insane in the show are not pleasant, per se, because they aren't thought out clearly. so they're not a joy to watch in the normal sense but the actors are good enough to pull it off. i didn't cringe at the talks they had because it felt like actors like acting these lines out instead of us being embarrassed for it and you CAN TELL theyre embarrassed.

this is a huge kudos to the casting director and the actors and whatever crew that actually did a good job. i don't particularly like watching bo xiang and his grandfather husband not because of the content but because i feel like, to me, they're so awkward even though they have chemistry. i don't have that issue with xing si and his rapist brother boyfriend because watching them is actually really pleasant, it's intimate. this isn't to do with the story though because when it hits you how devoid this other person is and how stupid the situation is it changes (for me, for me, for me, this is all my opinion think whateverrrr u want im not telling u 2 ok!)

so truly kudos to this cast. idk if i'm misremembering here but imo the most cast appropriate series in this was crossing the line and close to you. one is a decent atmosphere and execution (yes even with that brother story line, notice the major key differences though because that's a sincere false equivalence. they try to execute power imbalances soooo badly and then fail every time but here's one meant to shock too and it was just likelmao ok girl?)

it may not make sense to say either in a writing way or for the character to do it but i believe that whoever the characters these people are supposed to be especially those super not well written on the page still get that message aacross (yong jie's actor is a good ex. not sure if i should ccongratulate him for having the worst job on earth and the worst character and his character is flat but. ostensibly they should let their actions speak for themselevs but what they do is they back themselves into a ccorner with unsuretyabout their characters or a dilemma that pops up they just want to excuse it. well guess hwat u couldnt do enough legwork. but to some extent the disposable side couple works here on a um "our eyes see them and get it" way

also to me it seems like they chose this story just to have this specific wedding. like it's a timely topic and i'm pretty sure like another provision? (correction? idk) was made WRT taiwanese same-sex marriage so it's topical but it isn't like a "papa and daddy" situation where they're interacting in it and there (for ex: the pride parade) and there being like real life terms and consequences. here it seems like they were like ah yes wedding ah yes dumb couple from modc bc we kiled off the other one sooooo (then outsource them to life love on the line u__u) then hamfisting in some fucking message which is funny bc

- despite the hints peppered in and the clear attraction they both acknowledge ur like ~not gay just him~ even tho...i mean i just. again they dont read over what they write i don't think considering. but wahtever.

- the only gay dude (verbally said) is with his rapist brother with an awful power dynamic oh or IS a rapist (gao) (or his brother but i think it was just a "im a psycho so it's him" thing unless they said it. in which case idc cos i wasnt paying attn but that's also not great) or i guess the wedding but like....that's also a ridiculously inappropriate and dumb relationship taht it's built on. i mean i don't really see much respect her so i dont particularly want to hear abt gay weddings being important when they didn't even utilize it in the story beforehand and have we ever. this is a huge indication to me that it was a reverse engineered chosen story beforehand (if it was one) or thought of

soooooo

so reversal of that....it didnt give us enough time to breathe with these two at all but for both of the actors they can capitalize what's on the page and the writers didn't. like their dynamic is very i give/you give like taking car eof each other etc that's why

again, no artist worth their salt will ever say their work meant nothing. that's a cover up. i'm sick of lazy production and then getting away with it claiming being subversive or attacking an issue by not doing anything. we show crazy shit all the time but it has a POINT and ur point is "i like the gays" then girl.....i mean it's not great

but the acting really carried it. i have a feeling if this series continues it might continue to use more experienced actors cos maybe the budget goes up but they also have less inhibitions now when it comes to acting. i like the way li chen expresss himself and teng teng too. i like anson a lot and there's some angles that did not do any favors and i think eh has to get more control of his body movements (bc he's SO LARGE and thin) but he wasn't bad at all and there were real human tears. of course i, personally, favor charles tu. he has more control over his body because he has...less to work with and he's a bit bigger and he was really great in this role. he's a himbo a bit of a meathead but you like him. you like them. there's some things i think they had them say and do that they wouldn't let happen if they stuck to the characters and the story (mainly liking that dumb idiot rapist)

what i notice is that the reprehensible actions people criticize others for in the show and in real human life lalways gets turned around. teng teng being surprised that this boy's grandfather boyfriend met him when he was a junior in high school and he's 12 years older and him apologizing for being shocked and then whatshisface going "ur better at it than most people" and then the convo about gao with whatshisface and then rapist brother comes to pick him up. they are admonishing gao but thinking that rapist brother is noble for doin gwhat he did (and oh rapist brother shows up) like the hypocrisy and the decisions are immense. so now it's like "guys see he's a great guy" like girl STICK TO SOMETHING but whatever so i live in this universe where muren and li chen do everything right and have lots of different interesting fun seex with all their friends. i would write this but i cannot i am dying

#history 4: close to you #history 4 #li chen x mu ren #a thot

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sense8screencaps · 4 years

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If you feel like putting into words everything that went wrong/made you dislike the finale, I'd love to hear it

plotwise, it’s under the read more below! and it’s more of a rambling i had 2 years ago + what i remember 2 years later now lmao. logistically, what went wrong i think i’ve answered before. basically if netflix didn’t give the show a tight timeline for filming the finale, i think things would have turned out smoother. if it took an extra year or two to release the finale, i think it would have turned out with much higher quality and more consideration with regards to like everything really

act 1: the plan

planning and subsequent rescuing of wolfgang in the first 30-40 minutes instead of the whole thing taking an entire goddamn hour. cut out wolfgang trying to kill himself. a waste of 5 minutes that should have directly introduced the chairman.

cut out lito’s meltdown and don’t have rajan show up at all. it was a lazy plot device to help jonas escape and a waste of 7 minutes

will and riley meet up with felix and bug instead of that French lady riley like can we get some more lito and kala instead

will fighting bodhi was absolutely pointless??? An excuse to have a fight for no reason like it wouldn’t have made bodhi trying to stab whispers in the club any different (it would’ve made it better imo coming out of nowhere)

the dani and amanita scene was good but a serious continuity error since the show is supposed to be from the perspective of one of the 8

river el-sadaawi was a completely useless character to introduce like it should’ve just been hoy and yrsa talking with riley

convo between hoy, Riley and kirsty was a solid waste of 3 minutes

act 2: the exchange

rajan should not have been part of the exchange lol just swap him out for Felix and it’s all good

Considering Whispers does nothing in this finale other than being a hot potato passed around by people if he died in the club when Bodhi stabbed him it would’ve made an interesting turn of events

hot take: mun shouldn’t have shown up and a more creative resolution to sun’s story could have been written better

I feel like puck should have been part of this scene somehow

everything else pretty much okay

act 3: the lacuna

instead of staying at rajan’s random friend’s place just say it’s riley’s friend? literally makes more sense that way

no lacuna or bodhi shit. it was all deux ex machina like something could’ve been written better by strictly having old man of hoy and yrsa without needing to introduce new mythology

The lacuna concept felt cheap and removed a lot of what I thought kept the sense8 universe grounded in reality.

The mother was pointless to introduce like they could have gotten yrsa or some shit to get them the info on lila being in naples with whispers or just simply have his damn blockers wear off momentarily for will and wolfgang to figure out where he is instead of some weird old lady telling them her son’s backstory and somehow omniscient power of knowing whispers’ location

If Bodhi really didn’t want to be complacent with her stance on Milton and BPO why only NOW did she bother to take action? Why did the Mother only contact them now when God knows how long this weird zombie shit has been happening?

Also why the fuck did Bodhi not even bother to go with them to Naples to kill Milton? She didn’t want to remain complacent and yet she remained so throughout.

act 4: naples

another hot take: they all should’ve sang “rather be” by clean bandit instead on their way to naples. also diego didnt need to show up lol

capheus, felix, wolfgang, kala in the car. rest is the same

this scene should have happened halfway through at the ~90 minute mark

exposition of talking with lila could have been more elaborate. i don’t like that they cut out lila interrupting their pizza party

The transition to Sun and Riley meeting Alphonse and Sutra was messy and badly edited. Everyone in the cluster suddenly is there too? Like at least give some sort of indication they all went to meet Puck

trojan horse/forcella was good but not written or executed well

Kala should have been with Felix and Wolfgang while infiltrating the Forcella. Capheus should have been driving Nomi, Bug, and Amanita and picking up the rest of the cluster along the way/during infiltration of the Forcella.

“My wife... you’re a killer! Teach me!” seriously uncomfortable with Rajan saying that as if he didn’t sound like some kind of sociopath

Kala shouldn’t have gotten shot anyways it was literally 5 minutes of screen time that could have been allotted to a more satisfying confrontation between Lila, Milton, The Chairman, and our Cluster rather than an attempt to get an emotional response from a shock moment.

Jonas’ last monologue went on for too long; for some reason he really had to explain things instead of just “showing” and letting the audience infer to figure it out (particularly the psychic ligature/psycranium stuff)

the bad guys died in literally the most emotionally unsatisfying way. i didn’t need the chairman in this. say shit about whispers manipulating everyone from the top. the chairman being the zombie of like whispers or lila would’ve been way more elaborate. seemed like the writers somehow wrote themselves into a pit where they couldn’t think of anything better. Will and Wolfgang not confronting Whispers for a final time detracted from the emotional and psychological impact Whispers had on their well-beings.

Also like the bloodbath overall was a bit unsettling considering we saw pretty much everyone we know from the show kill bad guys which wasn’t really justified? Like Sun and Mun just knocked people out and killed maybe 4 or 5 people but damn the rest of them not even the slightest hint of trauma? Idk it was weird and I didn’t like it

my queen lila shouldn’t have died

there was so much bad editing here especially with trying to make it look like miguel/lito wasn’t absent

act 5: wedding

if they just cut out a bunch of the bullshit i mentioned earlier we could have gotten a montage or at least some sequence of the sun, lito, kala, and capheus’ stories getting resolved. maybe even some shit with nomi and the guy.

Cutscene to talking about a penis joke with rajan and kala instead of updating us on Cepheus or lito’s lives? Yeah totally makes sense

Hernando should’ve officiated the wedding

Transphobia curing weed brownie? No thanks

rajalagang... cool motive but terrible execution for the most part? idk i needed more rajan and wolfgang being gayer with each other. but then again if rajan wasnt in all of this it wouldve not really made any difference other than probably having just kala and wolfgang kiss

the orgy should have strictly been the 8 + hernando + amanita + mun + zakia. no one else.

#sense8 #sense8 finale #amor vincit omnia #anon #anonymous #ask

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clownbeep · 5 years

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This is gonna be kinda brutal. But I want to put it into writing

Big vent/whats been going on

Hah... I guess this is like my life story or some shit...

Trigger warning ahead.. Depression and a bit of gore/suicide talk so if you are sensitive to that please, for your own sake and mental state you might not want to continue.

For those who dont want to hear a pretty dark vent, I understand.

And those who are just scrolling by feel free to scroll past. I just personally want to get this out.

If you have dealt with emotional neglect/abuse and need to know it isnt in your head this might be the post.

By writing this it feels like hopefully someone else will read this and realise certain things are NOT healthy.

If you are questioning if you are being emotionally neglected/abused (im speaking in a parental sense but even romantically or sexually) im not someone to give you answers, but the fact you are questioning it raises some red flags. In a healthy relationship you dont wonder those things.

Sorry for the long prelude but heres what I wanted to say

Ever since I was young, ive had bad ADHD, manic bipolar/depression, and sensory issues.

I was diagnosed around 13 I believe. My family (I didnt realise it then) always showed pity. Like I was some wild animal that couldnt be tamed and there was nothing they could do. Id do and say stupid attention seeking things just to try and get a shred of empathy.

My family didnt care.

When I was in the hospital for a suicide attempt regaurding pills and my liver had a chance of failing.. None of my family members cried over me. But a family friend. Someone not. Even. Related. Wept over me.

My family didnt care.

I cant say they never cared. They give me food water and luxuries like internet and a phone. For that I am grateful.

But in many other ways they have hurt me faar more than helped.

Once I got out of a short term stay in an inpatient mental facility I desperately needed contact with anyone who would care for me.

I have a younger sister, quite young probably around 7 at the time. She was a close friend of mine for that time. Id hang out with her so often to fill the gap in love it felt my family didnt give. One day I walked into the dining room and overheard my mother and father talking to my little sister. They told her to keep away because I wasnt "stable" because I was "dangerous" and could give her bad Ideas. And with one single action my only friend at the time and way to find happiness was taken away.

My family did not care.

When I stay in bed every day for months on end not knowing which day ill snap and end it all.... I get called lazy.

My family did not care

When I beg for medication to make me a functional human being they brush me off for years on end. Im losing my grip. I can barely remember things that have happened last week because I try so hard to forget everything its my automatic response to everything.

When I cant get to sleep because all of the memories come flooding back and im hit by wave after wave of horrific memories and the feeling if worthlessness... When I cant watch any videos or read posts about families because it brings on unwanted memories and emotions....

Is it me being dramatic then?

When you hear your family openly mocking and laughing about how stupid and dramatic and fake trans people are... How weird and unnatural and mentally insane these people are not knowing they are the very reason grsm and trans suicides are so high...

Am I a liar now? Am I insane?

When I tried to talk to them about my mental health issues. They took my only way of contact and made me feel like it was my own fault.

My family didnt care.

When I was nearly passed out shaking in a bathtub covered in wounds and blood all over... They showed pity, then lectured me for an hour for not telling them or for being impulsive and basically cleaned my wounds and sent me into my room.

My family didnt care.

Yes. I do agree, they cleaned my wounds, the physical side of showing care. However emotionally they were not there.

When my father drinks so heavilly every day he is home from work that he forgets half the things he tells you and can barely function.. They lecture my older sister for having a glass of wine (legal age)

They did not care.

My sister (23) tried for so many years to cling to what little attention she would get by getting good grades and going to college... She realised that it changed nothing about how my family felt toward her.... She snapped.

My family did not care.

She starves herself for a disease she does not have, she uses religion as an exuse to be one of the biggest christian extremists I personally know. Half the days she doesnt eat... Other days she burns book and gets rid of items for being demonic.

My lovely sister used to be kind and quite normal. However she couldnt find comfort in what little live her family gave. Starved for care she turned to religion to un unhealthy degree. Finding any way to keep her mind busy. Now I worry she will end up in the hospital for weighing so little.

My family did not care.

My oldest sister (27) Is married to a continuously cheating husband who she keeps letting back into her life. She was raised with a failing marrige and doesnt seem to see when she should call it quits.

Not to mention her husband has touched someone legally under the age of concent. Did she report him to the authorities? No.

All of these horrific things stemming from bad parenting. Unhealthy relationships and neglect.

Neglect emotionally can cause just as bad things as physical neglect. They are both horrifically dangerous in different ways.

These are the only big things I can remember... Basically age 15 and below are a complete blur to me and I cant remember much of it without thinking for a looong time. Even then I cant remember a lot of it... I feel like ive lost my whole damn childhood. And it hurts more than if they had just hit me or physically harmed me.

Im not underplaying physically harm. But in my personaly opinion I would rather my family have beaten me badly because at least then id have an easier way to prove to people how severe the abuse was. You can see bruises and confirm broken bones... But years of feeling completely useless and being shut off from most of the world other than the internet... It fucks you up in a way I dont think can be healed.

I dont know if I can ever love myself or... Remember things. Its terrifying to think Ill post this and a few weeks later probably not even rememner unless its brought up. Or meeting people and having conversations... And they are just... Gone.

Gone.

I suppose the biggest reason im writing this is well... In the future I dont want to forget in some ways.. I want like to be 100× as awesome knowing itll start as soon as im out of here..

If I dont have anything to compare it too then what is the point?

Ive layed out basically most of what I remember

A large amount of time I look around and nothing registers... Everything is familiar but I cant remember anything for a moment or two.. I feel like my memory is slipping so fast and im terrified.. I cant do anything to stop it and I cant make my mood be stable without the medication my family cant be bothered to get ...

I suppose this is a bit of a vent. I know its kind of everywhere and unorganized..

If im honest.. Tumblr is the only place where people have given me a home I wish I had..

I came out as trans here... Everyone was so damn supportive.. I didnt say anything but I cried hard and the kindness.. It was amazing.. It was such a jarring difference to how I feel when I say anything in real life.

Ive met friends here and ive had some much fun here. If youve stuck around this far thank you so much.. If you didnt I dont blame you.

I just wanted to share what has been flashing in my head these past few days.. It hurts a lot and ive even considered suicide recently..

Im trying hard. As hard as I can.. I have no escape though.

I cannot leave home. I cannot escape. Im not being dramatic.

CANT

LEAVE

And its terrifying because I know without medication or at least being somewhere AWAY from family.... I feel like im going to break soon.

I dont want to do anything stupid.. But some days I cant think straight and do things that harm myself and its not good. Its not okay. Im aware that I need help but I have no idea where to go/turn.. I have no ID or drivers liscence.. I have no transportation to and from a job to get money so I can leave... I live in the middle of nowhere.... I just..

I dont want to lose touch. I dont want to do anything bad.. I want to be functional.. I want to do more than eat and sleep my life away because I have nothing else to do..

Im so damn sick and tired of this all.. And at times I really do feel like there is only one way out.

Its always there and I just feel like one of these days im gonna be pushed over the edge and not be thinking clearly enough to stop it.

Im thinking semi clearly right now which is my im posting this.. Because im afraid and alone.

I have nowhere to go irl I have no friends Irl i just have tumblr and media and thats it. I dont expect anyone to be able to help I just wanted to write this so anyone knows what happens if I leave media..

If I tell my family my issues they will blow me off again for the 11th time or so (not exaggerated)

And if I do something to get sent to the hospital and get the help I need the cycle will continue with them being pissed and me getting sent home in a month or less anly for my family relationships to get worse..

Im spiraling fuether and further and I cant keep up the facade of being fine. I need help. And i have no way to get it. Ive just been suffering for years...

Sitting around and doing nothing but using your phone or drawing or whatever sound fun in theory... But if thats all youve been able to do for years with little to no real life social contact its gonna mess with your head... I dont want to be a shut in... I just

I dont know what to do.

Im sorry for rambling. I will most likely delete this later feeling embarrassed I posted this...

Im just tired..

#trigger warning #triggering #may be triggering #vent #emotional neglect #emotional abuse #suicide #suicide trigger #gore warning #memory problems #ramble #rambles

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lilytcyip · 5 years

Text

December 31st, 2019

1.3 tera v w/ rjin & ggao

1.4 cactus & la foret w/ jng

1.8 talked it out with jng ; tried to understand that if i were happy, what more could you ask for

1.11 cyns bday dinner

1.11 craft beer w/ aleung & lwong

1.13 arisu & standing egg with efeng & aleung ; drove on highway for the first time

1.18 west dineout w/ annie pkp

1.19 glass w/ fifi

2.10 first snow of the year

2.3 cny lunch at home with the fam - tong yuen & poon choi

2.4 mooseknuckles - grateful

2.5 lunar new year

2.16 hangiout with mamayip & sis: beta 5, fixing the parka, meetfresh, miku sushi dindin

2.17 mom leaving for 2 months, wandering earth with the yips

2.19 happy hour cactus w/ fifi

2.20 kokoro lunch & shopping w/ rjin

2.20 so hyang w/ veda & nwu

2.21 black been noodles & tonkatsu lunch & usagi matcha sweets w/ ewong

2.22 green leaf sushi & grounds for coffee w/ vtan

2.25 sushi mura w/ acao ; larry berg planes and kisses for the first time

3.13 mental health talk w/ nwu & tchiu + jamjar

3.15 virtuous pie & nanas green tea w/ rjin

3.16 wine night w/ claw, aleung & fsyal

3.17 tabom & stanely park w/ jerpilla

3.23 pool & rc shopping with jyang

4.3 studying with jyang on campus & langara bye

4.9 studying with jyang at my house

4.18 ramen danbo & official date

4.20 so hyang & off the grid waffles w/ ayip

4.26 sci ning off w/ aleung, claw, fsyal, lwong & mcheung

4.27 clay llama terra pot class

4.29 so hyang budae jjigae & yifang w/ ewong

4.30 rc shopping & sushi lover with the yips

5.1 maenam, kits beach & rain or shiine ice cream w/ rjin

5.2 our first little tiff & being called chubby by mlo

5.3 shopping w/ vchan, aleung & fsyal

5.7-5.11 LA trip

5.8 LACMA & melrose & century city field

5.9 warner bros tour

5.10 malibu

5.28-6.1 hokkaido, japan

5.29 a 2-floor hotel with own onsen

5.31 otaru food adventures

6.1 doraemon painting & royce airport

6.2 macau: got scammed by taxi & lost luggage

6.7-6.15 inner mongolia & beijing

6.18 first co op offer

6.21 fire port party at fifis house

6.29 pottery painting w lwong, aleung, vchan, fsyal

7.5 brunch w/ rjin at jethro’s fine grub, baker & table

7.6 nwu’s birthday dindin at coast, hangout with aleung & nwu at nightingale

7.14 leavenworth cherries

7.17 brunch w/ rjin at OEB

7.19 nightmarket w/ jyang, mlaw, rjin

7.21 beach day w/ aleung, fsyal & lwong; hy’s with fam

7.24 chau veggies w/ acao

7.27 shiok & icy bar w/ ewong

8.3 first day of work at doctors office

8.4 escape room w/ vchan, fsyal & jyang; bowling & anh and chi

8.17 dindin w/ fsyal, aleung & tlim; double date walks at olympic village with ancas

8.18 - 8.19 kelowna

8.18 polar grove & penticton lazy river, mission hill

8.19 kayaking, quail’s gate

8.24 lit night at fifis house with the girls and boys

8.25 aleung’s bday harrison trip

8.27 work shopping & nuba w/ fsyal

8.28 sleepover w/ rjin

8.29 brunch w/ aleung, moii cafe chill with fsyal too

9.3 first day of co op work

9.7 grave of the fireflies & wildtale cuddles

9.14 eric chou meet & greet

9.19 amandarachlee neg comment and posted my encouragement on her story

10.5 maiko parfait & shopping w/ jyang, earls with the amigos

10.18 gmen & oncecake: melody, rillakuma, card & collage

10.24 dark table w/ rjin

11.7 moii after work

12.15 baking custard souffle pancakes w/ ewong

12.18 office christmas party & bbt w/ slim

12.19 glow

12.21 fifi’s christmas party

12.22 christmas market w/ rjin: churros & chimney cake

12.23 psyc team secret santa & mahjong

12.25 christmas dindin at market by jean-georges

12.26 birthday dindin at zeferelli

12.27 ring & birthday dinner at brix and mortar w/ jyang

12.28 skated alone, worked out, baked & dindin at botanist

looking back at it now, i definitely went out a lot more compared to previous years LOL i had some struggles in january, and at multiple points in my life i blamed myself for being ungrateful, for seeking more when i already had so much in life compared to other people. my friends were there for me and i wouldnt have been able to live through it without them. then again, during reading break in february, i got myself into the same hot mess and i was sad about it for a week and i blamed myself for getting so attached so quickly. because of these experiences, my expectations were v low and i didnt really expect anything when i talked to jyang, what they say really is true, you get it the moment you stop seeking for it. it comes and find you (: the 3 most important that happened this year is burbur, co op job & me getting more comfortable around doggs; this is a big deal !! i actually like cuddling dogs and i feel less scared of them as long as i have some time to get used to them!! im proud of myself for making progress with my phobia! after i started my co op job, bc i didnt have a lot to do, i felt like i wasnt actively contributing to my workplace and that i was very useless. i still feel the same way now, but i think i am slowly getting used to it. thankfully, my coworkers are VERY nice and i enjoy working around them. while i did not get a different position for january, im still grateful that i got an extended placement. nonetheless, meeting with the different PIs and sumeet pointed me in the right direction of looking for nserc / volunteering opportunities when i do go back to school. AND ofc burbur! im grateful that we were able to be there for each other for the past 8 months, both the ups and downs and i am so so thankful that we’re understanding and patient with each other, as we help each other learn along the way and help each other become a better version of ourselves. this companionship is better than i have asked for and i always remind myself to focus on the important things rather than the minor inconveniences. this year, in terms of fitness goals, ive been doing really well before asia. but ever since i came back, it all went downhill and i gained back all the weight that i lost this year year LOL so in 2020, one of my biggest goal is to eat healthy again, and workout more consistently. getting a job in sept kinda interfered with my progress too, bc i was so tired after work, even when i wasnt doing anything and i stressed eat bc i felt terrible. a lot of diff factors made me feel super stressed, and the fact that i wasnt eating clean / exercising reguarly made me feel worse about the whole situation ): so in 2020, maintaining a healthy lifestyle will be one of my top priorities and gifting myself a healthy body is one of greatest things i can do for myself. this also contributed to the lack of journalling near the end of the year, it felt like bc i wasnt doing the things i was “supposed to do”, i just felt so bad whenever i couldnt tick off that particular habit whenever i fill in my trackers. but tonight, i watched this video and it talked about habits should be for awareness, not for self-hate or self-loathing. this is something that i need to keep in mind. ever since april really, the issue of leaving my house and meeting up with my friends have always stressed me in fear of dealing with passive aggressiveness with my mom lool everytime i get inviited to plans, i just get anxiety about having to tell her about it LOL and even when im out, having a msg/ call for her freaks me out in fear that she will get mad at me for being home late and etc and fifi really woke me up with her words, i should just care less LOL i need to stop caring so much about what she thinks, bc at the end of the day, this IS my life and if i never make any changes, i will never be able to grow and be independent. i think this pree much sums up all my events and emotions in 2019, the last year of the 2010s. in the next decade, a lot of things will happen as i will be in my 20s - 30s, where new opportunities will arise, and graduate uni, do my masters, find a job, maybe even marry and move out LOL the 2020s will definitely be an impt decade, but just for next year i want to:

1. understand that i am old enough to make choices, and in general, care less about what she thinks

2. at the same time, i want to appreciate and be grateful for what my mom, dad and annie have done for me; a lot of the times, i feel like i take them for granted just bc i know they will always be there for me and this is not how you should treat your biggest supporters

3. trust that everything will workout in the end, while you may not be able to envision what you career / life would be like when youre 30, you can definitely take small steps and move towards your goal

4. be mindful of what i eat and exercise regularly (4x hiit & cardio a week) ; treats & sweets in moderation; use those habit trackers for awareness, not for self-loathing / self-hate

5. create art regularly, read more and at least do 5 duolingos every week!

every year, time just seems to go by faster and faster and i feel scared at times. as i type this, theres only 8 minutes left of this decade LOL so in 2020, continue to live in the moment, be present, cherish those that are around you, and have faith that everything will come together, one piece at a time. at the same time, always rmb that you can make small changes to be a better version of yourself, whenever & however you want and this is the 1 thing that other people can’t stop you from doing!

#diary #personal #thoughts #last post of 2019

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shsldepressedlesbian · 5 years

Note

Jesus Christ please tell me mORE about these characters I only know three things about them but I’m invested

hahhshahha im glad people wanna hear about them,, ok here we go, character info dump:

like i mentioned in a previous ask, the characters were created using sets of nine images, and thus they went through a certain degree of changes, though not all of them

if anyone wants to see me make the fic,, then i just might do it-

heres funfacts about the characters, cause as i noted before, i lovv them all very much:

Yuuki Mori, Ultimate Wedding Planner

Likes: bubblegum, streamers

Dislikes: wooly sweaters, dodgeball

D.O.B: October 12

Height: 5'1"

- the protag girl,,

- for the most part, a very friendly and hyperactive gurl

- always carries around bubblegum with her

- her interesting in wedding planning stems from her grandmothers encouragement, as well as having many relatives, and thus shes attended a lot of weddings in her life

- neat freak

- surprisingly athletic

- social!! but shes a little judgemental of people

- would never intentionally insult anyone outloud

- incredibly persistent

- also has a very sharp memory and eye due to her job as a wedding planner, which helps with investigating

- avoids conflict if she can

- not hard to convince

- trans and bi, like all dangan protags are suppose to be

- smells like bubblegum flavored cake and lavender

Emica Abiko, Ultimate Student Council

Likes: blank paper, lavender

Dislikes: deadlines in general, decaf

D.O.B: May 25

Height: 5'5"

- the mom friend

- tries to be as friendly as possible but shes this close to snapping

- is surviving on pure will and caffeine

- orderly

- has a strong sense of responsibility and leadership

- her dad is actually the principal of the school, which is the whole reason why shes student president in the first place. because of this, she doesnt really believe she deserves a spot in the school

- ambivert

- 'takahashi PLEASE put that down-'

- smells like vanilla coffee and stress

Arata Abe, Ultimate Historian

Likes: globes, sunshine

Dislikes: tiny dogs, flat earthers

D.O.B: June 14

Height: 5'7"

- a classy man

- very curious

- and nosey

- writes everything down in his trusty notebook, which helps with investigations

- doesnt just study japanese history. hes interested in the past of almost all countries

- very neutral on almost everything, doesnt have many opinions of his own

- but one thing he does have a strong opinion on is hating hetalia (who doesnt?)

- dresses like a victorian

- acts like he hasnt had a social interaction with a human being in years

- smells like old books and cats

Mitsuo Nakashima, Ultimate ???

Likes: dark rooms, wifi

Dislikes: confusing websites, superstitions

D.O.B: December 25

Height: 5’6”

- has not slept in a week but its fine

- very insistent on keeping secrets

- not even his classmates know who he or his talent is

- chooses not to tell anyone his talent (for some reason)

- does not believe in luck. at all

- for a tired guy who has no sense of left or right, hes pretty cocky

- probably has a tragic backstory

- spends most time locked in a dark room

- will fall asleep in a random hallway

- it might be the fatigue and coffee talking, but hes surprisingly intelligent

- smells like dirty laundry and ramen

Asuka Ando, Ultimate Student Council Treasurer

Likes: jewelry, mythology

Dislikes: delinquents, air horns

D.O.B: January 11

Height: 5’8”

- that one blonde chick in every slasher

- very cocky because of her position

- convincing and manipulative

- also good with management as you would expect from a treasurer

- was a math whiz in middle school

- despite acting in control, shes very reliant on emica telling her what to do

- hides behind bigger people

- collector of jewelry

- smells like chokingly sweet perfume and bleach

Manabu Ueda, Ultimate Astrogeologist

Likes: tea, stargazing

Dislikes: broken glass, slime

D.O.B: October 25

Height: 5’8”

- a polite boi, admirable

- more or less on the quiet side, tho he can and does step in to say stuff, and he does enjoy conversation

- his talent is something he grew from his own ambitions, but rather, it was more of a family line thing. he still does enjoy astrogeology though, which is why he chose to continue it even when he got a chance to study something different

- as you would expect from the ultimate astrogeologist, he contains many facts about space hes willing to share

- compliments others pretty often if we’re being real here, overall more of an optimistic realist

- however, even then, hes more of a ‘act first ask questions later’ type of guy as well

- a bit on the vain side?? very proud of his looks

- is very attracted to women who can beat him up-

- smells like expensive perfume and moondust

Seiichi Miyamoto, Ultimate Slam Poet

Likes: ink, protests

Dislikes: alcohol, peer pressure

D.O.B: August 26

Height: 5’5”

- best boy

- despite having the public image of a very loud and passionate young man, in person hes a lot more quiet and polite

- very good with voice shifting

- pulls at his tie when hes nervous; because of this, its always loose around his neck

- was the rep of his class

- slam poetry is a form of venting for him

- has strong opinions

- cares more about others health then his own

- not shy, just very nervous

- smells like nature and scented markers

Tamotsu Fujimoto, Ultimate Tomb Guide

Likes: sand, the heat

Dislikes: slippery ice, pens

D.O.B: November 19

Height: 6’4”

- the dad friend

- has known masa since they were kids(they met in a hospital), and thus they are very close friends

- mature but also laid back

- gives good hugs

- muscular

- wasnt actually born in japan, but grew up in it for the most part

- his parents were archaeologists, and they traveled alot. he was always particularly interested in the history of egypt, rather than becoming an archaeologist like his parents originally wanted him to be

- strong sense of justice

- usually believes in redemption

- acts as a form of transportation for the others when their tired, especially masa and satoru

- smells like tropical drinks and stuffy places

Kamiko Yamasaki, Ultimate Tapestry Seamstress

Likes: luck charms, quiet

Dislikes: being the main subject of attention, jumpscares

D.O.B: March 13

Height: 5’3”

- babey

- grew up in a superstitious household

- believes that she has terrible luck and uses everything bad that has ever happened to her as proof

- because of her supposed bad luck, she spent a lot of time locked in her house, sewing tapestries as a way of keeping busy, before being invited to sailing integrity

- has a good eye and knowledge of fabrics

- has a whole collection of sunhats. sadly, she only brought two different ones for the cruise trip(not like she was expecting more than a weeks stay hhshshs)

- has a large family

- has many bandaids on her fingers due to accidentally pricking herself on sewing needles multiple times

- interested in folklore

- very apologetic

- has a low sense of self esteem

- because of her ‘bad luck’, she blames a lot of bad stuff on herself, even if it doesnt even involve her

- sensitive

- grows quickly attached to others

- likes to stay close to anything that she believes would bring her ‘good luck’

- smells like sunflowers and dirt

Kenta Inoue, Ultimate Parkourer

Likes: sneakers, tetris

Dislikes: being told what to do, stuck up people

D.O.B: February 17

Height: 6’3”

- angrey boy

- incredibly short tempered

- no one remembers seeing him ever smile

- healthy parent relationships? whats that??

- will stomp curb you

- easy to get flustered up, though he wouldnt admit it

- will not stop until hes defied gravity

- defining feature is his allstar sneakers

- smells like varying cologne and sexual frustration

Chieko Endo, Ultimate Chemist

Likes: friendly gambling, working out

Dislikes: romance stories, people coming up from behind her

D.O.B: January 2

Height: 6’0”

- the intelligent one

- serious and calm, keeps a clear head

- a true neutral

- has mastered the art of poker faces

- apathetic

- has a strong dislike of romantic things

- sharp minded

- surprisingly agile and athletic

- can recite the periodic table from the top of her head

- is always looking above the tip of her glasses

- no one: chieko: *anime glasses gleam*

- chieko, to seiichi: ‘ah, so your the twink’

- so edge, such cool

- smells like roses and melted wax

Masa Shibata, Ultimate Dream Interpreter

Likes: fiction, horoscopes

Dislikes: spiky rocks, flashlights

D.O.B: December 31

Height: 5’11”

- mythic bab

- tries to act all mysterious and wise but sometimes accidently slips and reveals she really is just a normal teenager who spends way too much time on tumblr

- has known tamotsu since they were kids(they met in a hospital), and thus they are very close friends

- actually spent a lot of time in the hospital as a kid

- very blunt

- not good with human emotions at ALL

- not good at picturing stuff, will draw and whatever ends up on the page will -genuinely either impress or surprise her

- a little lazy if you will

- very interested in horoscopes

- holds grudges

- tamotsu translates her weird way of speaking a lot

- knows like fifty ways to get to sleep immediately

- instead of saying ‘good morning’, she asks ‘how was your dreams?’ to people

- keeps a dream journal, not for herself, but for everyone else

- smells like clean warm laundry and sheep

Fumiko Ogawa, Ultimate Lucky Student (or Blackjack Player)

Likes: the color red, praise

Dislikes: trivia facts, strip poker

D.O.B: July 3

Height: 5’9”

- has more of a gambler aura rather then a lucky student aura

- very proud of herself

- soaks up praise and compliments like a sponge

- a family girl, especially looks up to her older brother

- an attention seeker

- knows how to get what she wants

- doesnt really like the title of ultimate lucky student which is why she goes by ultimate blackjack player

- is actually not even a fan of talent schools??

- dresses like a 1940s stage dancer

- smells like raspberries and cash

Kohaku Ono, Ultimate Murder Mystery Novelist

Likes: horror movies, plot twists

Dislikes: overdone tropes, being looked up to

D.O.B: May 9

Height: 6'3"

- a polite bab

- very honest

- handy in investigating due to their knowledge and imagination

- has very low self esteem

- considers themself a borderline 'villan', despite doing their hardest to be nice to everyone

- warns everyone about themself, but characters who were in the same class as them have just gotten use to it

- very uncomfortable with praise and being called a 'role model'

- helps others to their best ability

- compares many situations to varying books, including their own

- unintentionally ominous

- writes using a typewriter rather then a computer or laptop

- smells like peppermint and typewriter ink

Aika Kouki, Ultimate Vintage Collector

Likes: buttons, dial up phones

Dislikes: being ignored, boredom

D.O.B: August 10

Height: 5'5"

- would and will add 'chan' to the end of everyones names

- grew up in a family that was very about keeping things 'old fashioned'

- resents the term 'boomer'

- talks like a 2000s teen

- very energetic and cheerful

- uses old fashioned slang often

- 'thats wack, brosiki'

- expresses interest in being other people

- very praising of others, often talking how 'jealous' she is of them

- overall very positive

- she and yuuki have known each other since grade school, even though they arent paticularly super close friends

- watched a lot of sailor moon as a kid

- modern tech impresses her more then it should

- smells like 1950 perfume and the outdoors

Satoru Takahashi, Ultimate Marine Biologist

Likes: sea otters, the water

Dislikes: his height, fish nets

D.O.B: December 5

Height: 4'8"

- its the tiny boi

- would unironically threaten your kneecaps

- is very sad about not seeing any marine animals during their cruise

- is insecure about his height but wont admit it

- often asks taller, stronger people to carry him on their shoulders(kenta refuses, but tamotsu is fine with it)

- very bold

- says whatever comes to his mind

- it started out as a joke, but he probably has a tentacle kink-

- adventurous young lad

- usually very friendly, but not hesitant to call out what he feels is bullshit

- calls kenta, mitsuo, and chieko 'edgelords'

- spaces out a lot

- smells like salt water and wet fur

Usagi Shimizu, Ultimate Runaway/Explorer

Likes: the forest, music

Dislikes: closed in spaces, car lights

D.O.B: September 1

Height: 5'4"

- very quiet

- has had many foster parents

- technically, shes listed as the ultimate explorer in the academy, but everyone refers to her talent as 'ultimate runaway' due to her reputation

- shy, but can be loud if she wants to

- surprisingly smart when asked questions

- usually calm, but it isnt hard to get her riled up

- everyone expects her to be some sort of delinquent due to her history of running away from her many homes, but really shes basically the opposite

- usually goes with whatever everyone agrees to

- takes many pictures of nature, and posts them to social media

- blushy

- smells like bushes and granola bars

#cruise to despair

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misssophiachase · 6 years

Photo

Set It Up – A kinda but not really Klaroline Fusion (like all my different fusions)

Caroline Forbes and Klaus Mikaeslon are working as assistants to the most demanding, rival NBA bosses in New York. From Macy’s to Madison Square Garden to the MGM Grand in Las Vegas can they stop bickering long enough to come together to make their lives easier?

All I do is Win

151 W 34th Street, New York, NY

"Before you say anything,” he offered, holding his hand up to silence her. “He actually tried to fire a mailman today.”

He being Mason Lockwood, the Brooklyn Nets owner. He was also notorious for being an arrogant, demanding bastard and then some.

“And?”

“Mailmen work for the U.S. government!"

“Oh boo hoo, I don’t care, Mikaelson,” she replied gruffly, equally not caring but also knowing it was true and his boss was an ass.

“Says the girl whose boss could give Cruella De Ville a run for her money.” He wasn’t wrong. New York Knicks boss Katherine Pierce was fierce, feisty and a real bitch at the best and worst of times.

“Exactly why I’m here to claim my blender that you have your grubby paws all over. I called earlier and put it on hold,” Caroline demanded, exhausted from the trek to Macy’s Department Store noticing he was already clutching it possessively.

She took a few seconds to admire that his thieving ass was sort of attractive in that fitted, grey suit even if he didn’t know his proper place.

Five days ago she didn’t even know him but Klaus Mikaelson had made both an immediate and lasting impression on her, and it wasn’t a good one. She had always welcomed competition but his good looks were kind of messing with her resolve.

Bastard.

She had no intention of letting him win.

Ever.

“But your name isn’t on it,” he shot back, refusing to relinquish her property.

“Now, that’s extremely mature,” she scowled. “If I don’t get this exact gift for the Warner wedding my boss is going to kill me.”

Yes, to some it was just your run-of-the-mill gadget that mixed ingredients together. But this wasn’t just any blender. This was the newest, state of the art Vitamix Blender that retailed at a jaw dropping $1198.

It also happened to be the last one left in Manhattan, Caroline knew given just how many stores she’d called in vain. She just hoped the Warners were grateful, if she managed to steal it from his greedy clutches of course.

“My boss will too given it’s a gift for his only sister’s birthday,” he shot back. “If you think I’m going to give up this blender without a fight you’re sorely mistaken.”

Okay, maybe she had forgotten in her haste to put it on hold, oops, but Klaus didn’t have to know that.

“Only because you got caught out breaking the rules because I already put this on hold,” she bluffed, refusing to let him win.

“Okay fine, what do you want?”

“I thought I made myself pretty clear, Mikaelson,” she growled, gesturing towards the blender.

“What else do you want besides this blender?”

They both held each other’s gaze for a full thirty seconds before each finally responded their resolve unflinching.

“Disney on Ice tickets. I hear that the Under the Sea Christmas Spectacular is a huge hit in your borough.” Brooklyn was most definitely a bad word she could never utter.

“Seriously? That’s really what you want?”

“Deathly,” she hit back, rolling her eyes as she did it. “Surely you would have some contacts, you know if you’re actually a good assistant.”

“Because I’m sure Katherine Pierce would love to watch a singing crab and one memory-less fish,” he scoffed.

“She may be the Ice Queen but she also has thirteen impossible and incessant nieces and nephews. And last time I checked all fish were memory-less.”

“Well, then you’ve never met my Marvin.” Caroline was trying to ignore just how adorable he looked defending his goldfish one dimple at a time. “Even so those tickets will cost me more than this blender.”

“Okay, so how about I sweeten the deal with some boxing tickets?”

“Not sure the local boxing round robin is his speed, love, so that’s a definite no.”

“Well, I suppose it’s your loss,” she drawled. “Hand over my blender then, Mikaelson.”

“You’re going to have to make me,” he replied jokingly.

“Real mature,” Caroline reiterated, surprising him and plucking it from his grasp. She couldn’t miss the way his hand felt brushing against hers as she did. “I hope I never have to see your smug ass again.” She stalked away, hips swaying in her wake.

“Until I have to explain the missing blender,” he called out in frustration by way of response.

“Because I’m sure a missing blender is going to be your biggest problem given you turned down Pacquiao vs Broner ringside seats in Vegas.”

She made a mental note in her head. Caroline Forbes 1 - Klaus Mikaelson 0. Suddenly her hellish life as an assistant wasn't so bad if he was suffering too.

4 Pennsylvania Plaza, New York, NY

Klaus Mikaelson was the type to hold grudges. It started when he was six years-old and his younger brother Kol stole his favourite toy and it had only grown stronger and more spiteful in the years afterward.

Caroline Forbes was going to pay. Mainly because his boss hadn’t let him forget how pathetic he was to lose the blender he wanted to ‘a girl’ as he emphasised in air quotes. Klaus was far from chauvinistic and his boss was obviously still living in the dark ages.

Caroline wasn’t just ‘a girl’ she was a pain in his ass and Klaus planned to bring her down and it didn’t hurt that it was her home game either.

Rivals the Knicks and Nets were squaring off at Madison Square Garden and he’d been plotting his revenge ever since their last meeting. Sure, she was kind of gorgeous with those blonde waves and crystal, blue eyes but she was also his devious competition. And she was unrelenting. He had to beat her at her own game and he’d found the perfect way to do it.

“Glutton for punishment hey?”

“Excuse me?” He shot back from their neighbouring, courtside seats. The pre-game arrangements were well underway. “Last time I checked the Nets and their staff have every right to be here, even if it is on enemy territory.”

“Unfortunately, yes,” she growled. “But it’s nice to know you are going down tonight.”

“Have you seen the ladder, Forbes?”

“You are one game ahead, after tonight that won’t be the case,” she scoffed. Klaus took a moment to peruse her outfit before arguing back. Even in her hideous blue and orange jersey she couldn’t help but look stunning. He decided to put it down to the fact her floral perfume was infiltrating his nostrils and messing with his composure.

“Wanna make a bet?”

“I’m pretty good at those but if you’re game.”

“Oh I’m game,” he smirked. “The Nets win you get me those ringside seats in Vegas. And by seats, I’m going to need eight.”

“Wow, someone is wishful thinking, but yeah sure, not that you’re going to win,” she scoffed. “I cannot wait to witness the annihilation, Mikaelson.”

Klaus didn’t even respond, just sent her a teasing glance and made his way to the changerooms to finalise everything. He had a good feeling that his team were going to take the win and Klaus would be on the way to Vegas for the big fight at the MGM Grand. His boss would forget that bloody blender ever existed.

“In your face, Forbes,” Klaus celebrated hours later as the Nets crowd at Madison Square Garden continued to chant well after the final buzzer. She was shocked to say the least, still cute in defeat but he’d never admit it aloud.

“This is all your fault,” she snarled. “You cheated.”

“Last time I checked I wasn’t on the court.”

“Yeah probably a good thing, you’d never actually keep up, lazy bones,” she snorted. “How about that whole surprise pre-game show where number one Nets fans Beyonce and Jay-Z just decided to belt out the Star Spangled Banner from their seats?”

“I had nothing to do with that,” he lied.

“You are the worst liar,” she huffed. “You know just how well it would be received and in turn boost team morale.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he bluffed. “The best team on the day won.”

“You are unbelievable,” she scowled. “Must really be desperate given just how much your job depends on it.”

“Is that what you say to make your situation better?” He shot back. “Didn’t think you’d stoop that low, oh hang on that whole blender situation was exactly that.”

“I guess I’m desperate,” she murmured, Klaus couldn’t miss the way her expression seemed so defeated all of a sudden. “My college loans are looming and I may have been a little dishonest under pressure because my boss wants to fire me all the time.”

“Story of my life too believe it or not,” he offered. “If only they could get on with their lives and not focus on every little thing that we do.”

“Hang on,” she murmured. “That might not be the worst idea you ever had, Mikaelson. How about we set them up together?”

“Mason and Katherine? That’s just a recipe for disaster. That much combined combustible energy cannot be safe.”

“Exactly why we have to do it,” she murmured, raising her eyebrows.

“So, I suppose I’ll see you in Vegas then?”

“If you’re lucky,” she chuckled, but given her tone Klaus knew she’d be there no matter what.

MGM Grand, 3799 S Las Vegas Blvd Las Vegas, NV

“Okay, I sent the fruit basket to her room.”

“Aren’t you a romantic,” she drawled teasingly, barely looking up from her magazine on the bed as he entered. Klaus Mikaelson was the last person she expected to organise that. As much as she was attracted to him, Caroline was seeing no similar interests besides setting up their bosses.

“Please don’t ever call me that. But, last time I checked you’d done absolutely nothing,” Klaus shot back. “And I won the last bet and everything. Time to show you care, Forbes.”

“Like sending an identical one hour massage voucher to both his and her rooms for the same time in the hotel spa?”

“I suppose that’s okay,” he mumbled.

“Why do I get the impression that you don’t like ideas coming from anyone but yourself?”

“Well...”

“It must be all that ego,” she groaned.

“You really do hate me,” he asked incredulously, it was unusual for any female to think badly of him let alone abuse him incessantly.

“For the most part.”

“Wow, aren’t you sweet,” he drawled. “So what are we supposed to do to pass the time?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Caroline shot back. “How about something more intellectual?”

“Wow. Finally something we have in common,” he smirked triumphantly, as she produced a chess board.

“I happened to be chess champion five years running in High School.”

“Well, don’t want all those potential but ignorant suitors knowing that fact,” he chuckled, sending a stray dimple her way. Caroline tried to pretend that it didn’t affect her but everything inside was telling her that it did.

And she was scared of the foreign feelings it had caused.

But in true Caroline fashion she decided to push it aside so she could beat him at chess then deal with the consequences that were threatening to derail her feelings later. She didn’t get that chance though. In fact she was in a more vulnerable position than expected.

“Check Mate,” he murmured, sweeping his queen across the board to take her king.

She was stunned at first mainly because she never lost. Ever. But he seemed to know her and rather than unsettling her it was weirdly okay.

Bastard.

“We have a boxing match to get to,” she responded mechanically. His hand grabbed hers immediately, the warmth spreading through her body. “Need to keep an eye on our bosses after all.”

“Or we could do something else?” He offered, squeezing her hand affectionately. “My siblings are in town tonight but I’m going to warn you they are...”

“Nick’s Fans?” She asked. “I’ve certainly experienced them and worse.”

“You have no idea, in fact I think they’d be perfect company for Katherine and Mason.”

“Why do I get the feeling you don’t care if you lose your job right now?”

“Well, if you knew my brother Kol and his big mouth,” he teased. “But if you’d rather...”

“No, I’m starting to really like your brother Kol.”

“Well. then you’re really going to like my sister Rebekah,” he chuckled. “How about we explore Vegas some more? See what fun we can get up to?”

“I suppose it can’t hurt, right?” Caroline replied.

Famous last words.

#set it up #fusion #klaroline #klaroline drabbles #misssophiachase #crossover #all i do is win #hope you like it

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sporecollection · 6 years

Text

all i need is my boys pt.1

summary: just some parental shit with roman and patton as virgils dads

pairings: royality, analogical eventually

word count: 1856

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17852207/chapters/42127025

-----------------------------

Virgil gave a little huff, adjusting on the couch. Patton had just finished gently scolding him over his slipping grades in his classes. It wasn’t that he wasn’t smart, the whole family knew that Virgil was one of the brightest kids in the family, it was just that his motivation was slipping rapidly. “So, bud, are you gonna try just a little harder for us?” Patton asked gently, leaning forward in his chair. He wore a patient smile, hands clasped together in his lap. After a brief pause, his son sighed and shifted again. “... Okay. But just for you guys,” Virgil spoke, voice almost annoyed in that typical way that most middle schoolers spoke. “I can always ask Logan for help or something, too.” He huffed gently, his father pointedly ignoring the flush on his cheeks. “Okay. You can go back upstairs. Your father’ll be back from work soon and we can order a pizza tonight. Sounds good?” “Sounds good.” Virgil repeated softly, standing from the couch and starting back to his room. He paused when he thought his dad wasn’t looking, turning and giving him a quick hug from behind, before hurrying down the hallway and into his room. The Thomas house was surprisingly small, compared to the money the two husbands were pulling in each year. One story, three bedrooms, one bathroom, an office, and a joint kitchen/living room/dining room situation. The office had quickly become Roman’s personal home, with various instruments, recording equipment, art supplies, a good computer, everything he felt he needed in order to work his job at the theatre. He owned the theater, put on productions, and even ran some of his own. This, of course, lead to him having to design sets, and cast people, and make demos of songs if a play or musical had any, and anything else he decided he would be in charge of. Virgil was in the room almost more than his father, tinkering on the piano or strumming a guitar idly, and trying desperately to get his work done on time for school without calling one of his fathers in every ten minutes. Patton was in there the least, usually just to help his husband or son with whatever they were working on. He’d run lines with his husband late into the night, or harmonize softly when he needed help figuring out a part. He’d point out Virgil’s little errors in his math, like forgetting a negative, or gently remind him that he was using the word infinitesimal wrong on that science paper. It just worked that way, and no one had any problems with it. That is, no one had any problems unless both Roman and Virgil needed the office at the same time. It was kind of like a sanctuary for Virgil. Bedrooms were free reign until 8pm. Anyone could barge into anyone’s room until then, no knocking or anything. The office was sacred, though. No one could go in without a knock or some sort of warning. Roman was bad at that rule. He would push the door open after a long day to find his son paused with his fingers lifted just above the keyboard instead of over his math assignment where they were supposed to be. He’d find Virgil nearly sobbing over an assignment, clearly stressed out of his mind, only for his son to immediately cease his tears and get back to work, muttering a quick excuse as to why his face was so blotchy and red. He’d enter to see Virgil quietly working on something or other, and get quickly told to leave, sometimes angrily and sometimes playfully. He would always leave with a quick apology, though, so there weren’t ever any hard feelings. Patton and Virgil took the rules seriously, though. Virgil would knock gently, even if he knew no one was inside, before slipping inside gently and doing whatever he had to do. Patton would call in, and if someone was inside who didn’t immediately need his help, he’d apologize and leave to do something else. It just worked like that. Patton gave a tired breath, glancing around the living room area for a short moment before standing. There was really never any telling when his husband would get home on rehearsal nights. He always just told Virgil soon. Sometimes soon meant within the next thirty minutes. Sometimes soon meant within the rest of the day. Tonight, soon meant right now, because Patton’s thoughts were interrupted by his husband stepping inside, shifting off his coat, and moving to kiss his him. Patton reciprocated the action, kissing his husband gently before pulling back. “How was work?” He asked gently, watching as Roman moved to the couch and sat down, giving a soft noise and rubbing his face, smudging his foundation and revealing a splatter of freckles across his cheeks. Apparently coverage was light today. “It was frustrating, but tolerable. Did you talk with V yet?” “Yeah, we just finished a little bit ago. He said he’d try harder. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that this is his last chance before we start taking things away.” “That’s alright. I know you’re not generally the one to handle punishments.” Roman smiled as his husband took a seat next to him, resting his head on the shorter’s shoulder. “Yeah. I told him we’d order pizza tonight, since I didn’t know when you’d be getting home.” “Patton, dear, how do you always know exactly what I want to eat?” “Because you have the same appetite as our twelve year old son.” Patton teased lovingly, before sitting up. “I’ll call it in really quick.” Roman watched as his husband stood, relaxing into the couch as the soft sound of his voice calling in two large pizzas filled the air. He hadn’t ate yet, and he honestly doubted his son had either, so he was glad his husband knew the both of them so well. He glanced over at the sight of Virgil emerging from his room, and smiled at his son’s grin. “Hey, dad.” He mumbled, and Patton glanced over for a moment before looking away and continuing his soft chatter with the pizza place. Virgil wandered over to the couch, sitting himself down next to the aforementioned dad. “How was work?” Virgil asked quietly, leaning against his father at the gentle tug on his shoulder. He was being half-hugged now, which he enjoyed. “Oh, it was work. You coming to help me with set next week?” “Of course, dad. You know I like helping with that stuff.” “Yeah. You’re a good kid, V.” “That he is.” Patton intervene, dropping onto the couch to wedge his son in between the both of them. “The pizzas should be on their way in a while. In the meantime, would my two favorite freckled boys join me in a screening of Alice in Wonderland?” Virgil, who had flushed gently at the mention of his freckles, grinned a bit, nodding. Roman gave a soft laugh, nodding. “Well, let me change into something comfortable. And take off this makeup.” Roman gestured to himself, a smile on his face. Virgil nodded, shifting away so his dad could stand easily. The taller of the three did so, kissing his son on the forehead, his husband on the lips, and turning to go change. The remaining two on the couch looked at each other for a moment, both grinning. Virgil slipped off the couch easily, grabbing the movie and sliding it into the player, before climbing back onto the couch. Patton patted his cheek, grinning softly at the freckled child. His son gave a soft smile back at him, listening absentmindedly to the soft sound of the movie beginning in the background. It wasn’t long before Roman was returning, clad in a hoodie and shorts, still fashionable when lazy. He sat next to his son and husband, scooping the both of them into his arms. It was about halfway through that pizza delivery man knocked on the door. It was near the end that Virgil fell asleep against his dad, pizzas long forgotten and replaced by the festivities of the night. It was a few hours after the end of the movie that Roman scooped up his son, carrying him to his room even with the little, barely covered giggles that just proved Virgil was awake. Roman gently dropped his son on the bed, laughing and kissing his forehead gently. “Night, dad.” Virgil spoke up softly, smiling up at his dad. Roman smiled warmly, pulling the blankets up over his son and patting his chest gently once they were smoothed out. “Night, bud. See you in the morning.” “More like at twelve.” “Ha. Nice try. See you at ten.” “Fine. Tell dad good night.” Virgil asked gently, Roman nodding. “Love you, V.” “Love you too.” Virgil shifted under the covers gently, rolling onto his side and tugging the blankets up over his shoulders. Roman smiled gently, slipping out of the room, turning off his lights, and shutting the door behind him. He kissed his husband gently, pulling him to bed. The next day Virgil had his first ever panic attack. It wasn't anything serious, the three of them had just gotten very separated at the mall, and panic crept up and grabbed the twelve year old until he was shaking and crying in the back of whatever store he had been abandoned in. They hadn't been apart long, an hour at most, but Virgil had always assumed the worst. When his fathers found him, they immediately went the comfort route, getting their son home where they could care for him properly. It wasn't serious, they would tell him, but it honestly was. “Patton, you know what this means.” Roman spoke softly, as not to wake Virgil. He was asleep in Patton's lap, having fallen asleep after a long cry and the gentle methodical rhythm of Patton combing through his hair. He sighed, continuing the motion even despite Virgil having fallen asleep hours ago. “Yes, I know. I'm going to have to call the Picani’s. Hopefully he can get Virgil in soon.” “Well, we should talk to him about therapy first instead of jumping right into it. There's no saying how well he'd take it.” “Yeah, you're right.” Patton sighed gently, pausing for only a moment, until a soft whine from his son prompted him to continue. “I feel so bad that he had to go through that.” “I know, love, but we can't do anything now. Everything's said and done. We just have to stay to support him.” “Yeah.” Patton shifted just enough to rest his head on Roman's shoulder, receiving a gentle kiss on the forehead. “I'm honestly glad that it happened today of all times. We were both here to help after all.” “Me too.” Roman murmured, glancing at their son with a gentle sigh. “I’ll carry him to his room if you want?” “No, this is fine. I have both my boys here with me.” Patton smiled gently at his husband, before closing his own eyes. “This is all I need.”

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #ts virgil #ts roman #ts patton #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #parental moxiety #parental prinxiety #ts fanfic #sanders sides fic #fanfiction

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cool-guysyndrome · 6 years

Text

(I was gonna post this to Instagram first but the story got too long so here sees it first skkdhdh)

Title: dammit why do i always give the angst a resolution

TW: anxiety attack, heckloads of angst, swearing because virgil+stress=i get to write swearwords

Patton paced the dimly lit room, becoming more agitated with every step. He didn't know where he was, why he was there, how he got there, anything. It was awful being completely in the dark, thrown randomly into some foreign place with no forewarning or instructions. He had so many questions that it was hard to think at all. Where were his friends? Were they okay? Were they even in the same place as him? What if they were across the country or something? How would he find them? Where even was this country? Was he in a country? Why was he in a weird castle thingy on a mountain? It was scary up so high. What were these weird clothes he was wearing? What was wrong with him? Why could he suddenly create a weird green fire with his hands? Was he going crazy?

Patton sat down and leant against the cold stone wall, trying to steady his breathing. Was this how Virgil felt when he had an anxiety attack?

He looked down at his hands, scared to accidentally replicate the spectacle he had made when he went outside and set a tree on fire.

"Maybe i can control it?" He thought aloud. Worth a try.

Patton shut his eyes and tried to focus his thoughts on the tingly feeling that had spread through his fingertips when he made the fire the first time. Sure enough, he felt a soft heat begin to emanate from where his hands were outstretched, and when he opened his eyes he saw the small green flame dancing across his fingertips.

He found that he could make the flame larger or smaller by mentally compressing it, like a camera's focus lens. It was amazing, but at the same time it scared Patton more than any fear he'd ever felt before. This wasn't a kind power. This was something destructive, something dangerous. If this power was any clue to why he was in this strange place, it was not a comforting one.

Patton released his mental hold on the fire and it dissipated into nothing. He realised with a start that he had been crying while watching it, and he wiped his cheeks dry with a sleeve.

Whatever this was, it wasnt going to be easy, and how his heart ached every time he thought about the others was really not helping. Especially Virgil. Sweet, lovely Virgil, who was always kind and worried for Patton as much as his mother did, was probably hurting just as much as he was. That thought would have killed Patton, but his thoughts were mercifully interrupted by a-

---

-'CRASH!'

"Fuck. Just when i thought my day couldn't get better huh."

Virgil glared at the fallen ornament like it was personally responsible for all the wrongs in the world, which it probably was in his eyes.

He crouched down with a sigh and picked up the broken pieces of ceramic. There were far too many breakable things in this stupid palace for someone as clumsy and lazy as him to be around.

He found some servant to give the pieces to, waving off their apologies and persistent praise. It was exhausting, all this social interaction. Virgil wondered how Roman ever wished for this kind of thing, but he supposed Roman was the only person crazy enough to like it.

He kept walking, slow enough to still pass as a walk, but fast enough that he could escape to his room as quickly as possible. Finally he reached safety, locking the door behind him. He sunk to the floor, exhausted.

"This place is fucking crazy. I think im going crazy." He told the empty room.

"I dont know what they want me to do half the time, and they treat me like the fucking king of the universe more than some stupid prince. I just want to go home and not have to deal with this stupid, stressful, nonsensical place and its mad inhabitants!"

He ran a hand through his hair.

"Inhabitants? What am I saying? Fuck, i sound like Logan."

Logan. The others. Shit. "Great now thats just a whole other problem as well. Wonderful. Fucking fantastic!"

Virgil stood up and took his cape off, tired if the heavy and unnecessary clothes. He started to anxiously pace the room, caught up in a flurry of thoughts that were making it a little hard to breathe.

"Shit. Shitshitshit. The others. Are they safe? I need to go find them. Are they even here? What if theyre in trouble? Logan and Roman might be okay on their own, but Pat..."

Virgils voice trailed off as his mind thought a horrible, terrible thing. Patton. Gentle, bubbly Patton, the light of his life, could be in danger. Or worse, already hurt. Virgil fell back to the floor, every inhale more of a struggle than the last. His whole body filled up with an overwhelming sense of dread that drowned out any of his attempts to calm himself down. His heart began to pound like it wanted to escape his chest, and he pulled at his hair like he wanted to rip it out. He thought he heard a strangled scream from someone nearby. Why were they screaming? He should be the one screaming. Then he realised that it was his own voice, and he was the one emitting the heartbroken cry. He managed to stop his screams but there was no ceasing the sobs that wracked his body as he lay curled on the floor, his mind repeating a single horrible thought a million times-

---

-over Patton's head flew a tiny streak of black, and it seemed to be hurt because it wasnt flying in a very coordinated fashion. One wing was flapping a lot less than the other.

Patton waited for the little animal to settle, then he stood a few feet away from where it had landed on the table.

"Hey, hey, I'm not gonna hurt ya. You look like you need a bit of help, actually, little guy."

He started moving towards the table very slowly so he didnt startle the creature.

"Hey, its okay, im gonna help you, alright? Lets have a look at that wing."

Patton continued to talk soothingly to the little creature until he was close enough that he could reach out and touch it. He saw that the animal was a small black bat, and one of its wings had a splinter of wood in it, not enough to do bad damage, but enough to affect its flying ability.

Patton slowly outstretched his hand, and waited for the small animal to make a move first, as a kind of permission. The little bat looked up at him with big black eyes with a shine of blue in them, and if it were human Patton would have sworn it was studying his face.

Then, all of a sudden, he heard a voice say, "Help?"

He nearly fainted.

"What?! Did you- did you just speak?!"

He watched the bat carefully, but its little face didnt move an inch even though he heard the voice clear as day. "Help wing?"

Patton couldn't help staring at the little creature.

"How are you doing that?!"

"Person help wing? Yes, no?"

"Oh my goodness gracious. And i thought the fire was weird."

"Help wing, yes, no?"

"Yes, yes, sorry, yes, ill help you. May i?"

Patton held out a hand to the bat's wing. The little creature obliged and lay its wing across his hand.

"If i ever see him again, i will definitely tell Virgil about this. He'll hate me for it because he's always wanted to talk to animals."

"Vir..gil?"

"Yea, hes my boyfriend."

"Oh. Boy Friend Virgil." The little animal seemed to think for a second, then it spoke again.

"Boyfriend, Virgil. I, Jazzy. You?"

"What?" Patton took a second to realise what the little creature meant.

"Oh, is that your name? Oh! Its lovely! I'm Patton!"

"Pat..ton. Patton. Patton help Jazzy."

"Yes, thats right, im helping you! By the way, are you a boy or a-

---

-Gurl you are a mess. You're lucky i can pick locks hun."

Remy closed the door quietly and went to sit beside where Virgil still lay on the floor.

"I heard you scream. Good thing i convinced those other losers that I'd handle this." He glanced down at Virgil again, noting his fists still clenched in his hair.

His voice was a bit more firm as he continued. "Virgil. Can i touch you?"

The purple-haired boy hesitated a moment, then shakily nodded through his hands. Remy gently pried his hands down from his hair.

"Can you sit up for me?"

Virgil did.

"Okay. Can you copy my breathing? 4-7-8 yeah?"

Virgil nodded.

Once Remy was sure that Virgil was no longer in such a bad state, he got him to sit on his bed and gave him a glass of water.

"Thanks." Virgil managed as Remy handed him the glass.

"Youre fine, gurl, i get this kind of thing a lot. The staff here get stressed all the time and someones gotta help calm 'em down, y'know?"

"Yeah."

"Besides, gotta have you in top condition so i can 'scold you' as Perce puts it, or as i like to say, roast your sorry ass."

"Really? What did i fuck up this time?"

"Oooh gurl you wouldnt believe it. So much that the cat wants your hide."

"The cat?"

"The cat."

Virgil wasn't quite smiling, but his eyes werent as sad any more.

Remy lay back on his bed like he owned it.

"Nah, I'm messing with ya."

"I know." Virgil couldnt help a small smile.

"Its not the cat, hun, its the rats that cat's chasing that want your blood. Have fun arguing with rodents."

"That bad huh?"

"Nah not really. Percy wants to help you with some stuff you were struggling with today."

"Struggling?" Virgil raised an eyebrow at the other man.

Remy chuckled. "Gurl, you and i both know you aren't really the prince. Gotta have someone in on the secret to help before everyone is."

"Touché."

After Remy left, Virgil lay back on his bed, realising just how exhausted he was. This wasn't going to get any easier. But maybe it could, at the very least, be possible.

#storytime au #angst! yay #we love some moxiety angst #i dont know how to fic so bear with it okay #also im really quite proud of patton but thats probably coz i love him

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drabblers · 6 years

Text

Three months late

Prompt: Mystique Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin Setting: Modern AU, Actors. This is part two continuation for the one-shot: “A Comedy of Romance.” The last part was “Goodbyes aren’t always final“. Characters: Kenshin Himura, Kaoru Kamiya, Misao Makimachi Word count: 3307

<…and if you would like to see more about my interpretation of the character, I would be pleased to do also demos from other scenes. Looking forward to hearing back from you. Respectfully yours, Kamiya Kaoru.>

Kaoru frowned at the email she had written, gnawing on her bottom lip thoughtfully. No, it was as good as it could get, she decided and pressed send. The email left, leaving her to stare at her depressingly empty inbox. Twenty-two applications send, only two replies – and both of them nicely worded versions of “sorry, not interested.”

It sucked to be an actress between jobs, with no good prospects waiting.

True, it was the same for all the starting actors and yes, she knew the industry was extremely competitive. But still, if she just got a chance, a real chance to play a significant role in an action movie… She sighed deeply. Sometimes her dream just felt too distant. Unreachable. Like a mission impossible. But Kenshin had told her that she just had to keep trying and to differentiate herself from her competition the best she could. For example, when she had an option to choose scenes to do a demo for, she should select ones that suited her strengths instead of going for the popular choices.

The thought of Kenshin drove her to check her mailbox’s spam folder, just out of habit. Ads for sunglasses, bags, online shop adds, and nothing else. Just typical.

It had been twelve weeks since the last shooting day party, since that night with Kenshin… since he had left for the Gobi desert. She hadn’t heard anything from him since then. No phone call. No email. No message. Nothing. His shoots for his next movie had supposed to take six to eight weeks, but now… it had been three months. Had she just dreamed that night? Maybe she had been too drunk and just come up with this elaborate make-believe memory and fooled herself into believing that Himura Kenshin had asked her to date him?

Or maybe, there was no self-deceit or mystique to it at all and it was like Misao said, that her co-actor had just made promises to get into her pants and after he had succeeded, he had fucked off to his merry ways and left her reeling.

She shook her head.

No, Kenshin wouldn’t do that. He was not the sleazy type, thank you very much. Which she had tried to explain to Misao as well – but given that her secrecy contract forbid her from mentioning Kenshin’s name until it was officially announced – her explanations had fallen on flat ears.

Kaoru groaned to her hands. She was frustrated and angry at herself, at Misao and most of all – at Kenshin. Why hadn’t he contacted her? It was the Gobi desert, not Mars! They had some form of communication down there, hadn’t they? Even if they didn’t have reliable phone lines or internet, there had to be old-fashioned snail mail or a courier or... something? Surely, If he wanted to, he had to have some way of contacting her?

…If he wanted to.

Gods, that was the one thing the devil on her shoulder kept whispering her. That she had understood the whole dating thing wrong and it was like Misao claimed, that he had just wanted one night’s fun.

No. Nope. She slapped her cheek, as if to drive away the poisonous thought, and rose, heading to her kitchen. Misao should be coming back any minute now and she had promised to cook tonight. Nothing fancy. Just something simple even a kitchen disaster like her could throw on a frying pan and call it dinner.

She lived in a two bedroom apartment in downtown Tokyo with her roommate since University days, Misao Makimachi. It was a useful arrangement for both of them. After all, freelance reporters and actresses shared the same problem: they got paid per project basis.

Kaoru had just gotten the frozen dinner on a pan when out of a sudden, the doorbell rang.

“Wait a minute!” Kaoru yelled, dumping tofu and frozen vegetables on a pan and setting to heat to hot. It should take several minutes to warm up anyways. She huffed, sweeping her hair aside and looked down at her comfortable pajamas. She had not bothered to dress up for the day, after all, it wasn’t like she was going anywhere. Should she change clothes to answer the door? Nah, no need. It was just Misao.

The doorbell rang again.

Kaoru growled. Seriously! Was Misao carrying something large, or just being lazy that she was not using her own keys to open the door?

She pulled the door open, about to say something rude but the words died on her tongue and she blanched in realization…

...and slammed the door shut right in front of his face.

———————————————–

“Oro?” Kenshin blurted, too stunned for more cohere words.

Something slammed against the door with a thud. Her back? Then, her shaky inhale echoed in the silence.

Kenshin lowered his hand and wetted his lips. “Miss Kaoru…?”

“Why didn’t you send a message?” She asked softly. “Even a letter? You had to have some form of communication available, even down there in the middle of nowhere.”

“I… I, ah… Um, one is sorry, that he is.”

“Sorry…?” She asked, taking a pointed pause. “I waited for you. Week, four weeks… twelve weeks and nothing.”

There was hurt in her tone: bewilderment, pain… but also anger. Kenshin squeezed his hands to a tight fist. God dammit! He should have known that man couldn’t keep things professional between them.

He took an inhale, finally gathering himself enough to speak. “This one did send you messages. Every day, in fact. But it seems that they got lost in transit, that they did. This one is sorry, that he is. Miss Kaoru – please, forgive this one.”

Clothes rustled, and something hit the door – her fist? No, her forehead?

He heard her drawn breath. “What happened?” She asked, her voice wavering only a little. “If what you say is true, how can you lose over a hundred messages?”

“That’s… Um, it’s a long story. A very personal story, that it is.” Kenshin cringed. “But in essence, this one’s interpreter… well, Enishi has a reason for being angry with this one, but this one honestly assumed that he could put his feelings aside and maintain a professional relationship.”

“…your interpreter?”

“Err, yes,” Kenshin said. “This one doesn’t speak Chinese – more than few words, that is – and whenever one does movies with Chinese one needs help with the language.”

The lock twisted, and she opened the door.

He stared at her, drinking in every detail of her. Her hair was in a messy bun, and she was wearing her pajamas and under her eyes, she had dark spots, like she had been trouble sleeping. Yet, despite everything, she looked like home and something in his chest ached. He wanted nothing more than to pull her close and tell her how he had missed her.

“Let me get this straight,” she started, gnawing on her bottom lip. “Your interpreter had a grudge against you? And he took it out by not sending your messages? Did the guy never want to have work in the industry or what?”

“Um, that’s… well, most likely he knew this one wouldn’t rat on him.” Kenshin hazarded, “As this one said, Enishi has a good reason for his anger, that he has. You see, this one, well, one was, but...” He stopped abruptly and looked aside, clearly trying to find the words but failing miserably.

She blinked slowly. “Um…”

Instead of continuing his stammering, Kenshin shook his head and dug into his shoulder bag and pulled out a stack of letters with a huge red stamp with Japanese text for "Return to sender" on them. “This one picked these up at the mail office in China. See the address?”

She took the stack gingerly, turning the unopened stack of letters in her hands. “That’s my name but… what the hell?”

“Enishi did send the letters as this one instructed him to, that he did. He just misspelled the address and when the letters did not reach a proper destination, they were returned to China – and given the distances, this one only found out about this last week, that one did. Note how small the error is?”

“Are you sure it was deliberate?” She asked. “I mean, even to me – it looks like a human error.”

Kenshin exhaled, relieved that she seemed to believe him. “I… Well, could this one come in?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder where a neighbor was peeking from the doorway. “One will tell you, but as it relates to personal history, one would prefer to keep it between the two of us, that he would.”

Miss Kaoru followed his gaze and blanched. “Err, yes – of course.”

She opened the door, wordlessly inviting him in… into an apartment with visible puffs of smoke floating around.

Kenshin stared. “Um-“

Which was, of course, the moment when the fire alarm blared to life, filling the apartment with ear-splitting beeping.

“Oh fuck.” Miss Kaoru said, pressing her hands to her ears. “Wait here!”

And she ran off to where the smoke was coming from.

Too curious to his own good, Kenshin followed her to – kitchen? Miss Kaoru had pushed a frying pan onto the kitchen sink with its contents and all and was staring at the fire alarm fixated to her ceiling like she wanted to smash it to pieces.

No wonder why, like him – she was on the shorter side and the kitchen did not have a convenient a ladder or step-stool. Well, not a stool most people would use to reach high places.

Kenshin grinned and without a second thought, grabbed a chair from next to her small dining table, stepped on its seat, tilted it on two legs and climbed to stand on the backrest, balancing it while reaching to the offending fire alarm.

And there!

Blessed silence.

Miss Kaoru stared up at him, her mouth falling open. “So you really do your own stunts—“

Kenshin covered his mouth with his hand, but couldn’t quite contain his snort in time.

She pouted at him.

And then he really couldn’t help it, but burst into laughter. Gods, her expression! He knew it wasn’t polite – no, it was downright rude but she had an unparalleled ability to make him laugh and forget his worries and stress. It was amazing. Just for that, he would have fallen in love with her…

“Mou! It’s not that funny,” she grumbled. “And get down here before you fall down, break your neck and force me to cart you down to hospital.”

“Sorry,” He straightened and jumped down. “It just seemed to be the fastest way to solve the problem, that it was.”

“I was not complaining.” She grumbled, turning to the offending attempt at dinner.

“Kaoru…”

———————————————————

His voice was soft, gentle when he whispered those syllables. He always said: Miss. He had never called her by her bare name. A shiver raced down her spine and something fluttered at the pit of her belly.

She didn’t turn around. Because if she did… she wasn’t sure what she would do.

Footsteps behind her, and then he stopped, close enough that his breath tingled at her neck. “I… This one missed you.”

She swallowed. “I missed you too.”

He laid his chin on her shoulder, resting his arms around her waist. Not forceful. He was simply there. Warm. Solid. And there. For her. She inhaled deeply, turned around in his embrace and asked, “are we still dating?”

“I… This one…” He frowned. “Aren’t we?” He finally asked. “One means, if you don’t want to…”

“I do!” She hurried to assure him. “I want to. I just, it happened so soon an then I didn’t hear anything from you-“

“One is sorry about that, but there was-“

“I believe you,” Kaoru hurried to interrupt him. “I know you said the whole thing with messages and interpreter spiraled out of your control and I want to know all about it, but before that… I just, are you sure that you want to date? With me?”

He blinked slowly. “Why wouldn’t one want to date with you?”

She looked aside, gnawing on her bottom lip. “It’s, well, you are you and I am…“ She waved her hand, directing his gaze to take note of the apartment’s small kitchen and all signs of student lifestyle style therein. The difference to the standards he was used to had to be obvious. After all, even when discounting the fact that he was a celebrity, he was exceedingly well of man and she… she was just a rookie actress starting in her career with a whole bunch of student loans to pay for.

He took his time studying her apartment from his spot, still holding her in his embrace. Finally, he noted out loud, “It’s homely, that it is. A lot cozier than the apartment this one used to live when he was just starting out, that it is.” He smiled at her, a hint of mischief sparkling in the corner of his eye. “Did you know, this one afforded to purchase a futon only after the Legend of Hitokiri Battousai was published and started breaking the box office records? Before that, one used to sleep curled against the wall.”

“…huh?” Kaoru gaped. “You mean…”

He shrugged. “This one knows very well how difficult it is to start out in this career, that he does.” He drew his arms a little tighter around her and looked at her seriously. “One knows how very proud and self-reliant you are, that one does. But if you ever feel that you could accept introductions or some other assistance one could offer…”

“No!” She yelped. “No, I’m fine. Thanks for offering though.” She mumbled, feeling the heat to rise to her cheeks. Gods, did he think she was asking for help? She wasn’t about to take advantage of him! “I was just…” She paused, and thought through what she had been about to ask which really came down to the question: are you sure that am I good enough for you? And suddenly, she felt very stupid. “It’s nothing”. She mumbled, pressing her face into his shoulder.

The whole time she had known him, Kenshin had been very consistent in his appreciation of her. His glances at her, his constant smiles, the way he always took her questions and concerns seriously and offered any help he could… No, even if she had no idea why he had decided to like her, it was obvious that he did enjoy her company.

“Kaoru…” He hesitated. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” She mumbled. “I just feel stupid, that’s all.”

He huffed fondly, stroking her cheek, wordlessly asking her to look up. “You are amazing.” He smiled. “You are funny, charismatic and if one could, one would never again leave your side.”

That last line! Only he could repeat his character’s line at her like they hadn’t spoken those words to each other in front of cameras and five dozen people three months ago!

She grinned, and replied her part, “Then stay.” And rose on tiptoes to kiss him.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, drawing her to his embrace like they had never parted. They kissed and kissed each other again…

“Kaoru, you are never gonna believe this, but the neighbor’s old lady said she saw…“ A female voice called out, only to turn to a shriek: “Oh my god.”

A shopping bag dropped to the floor.

Kaoru froze and turned to look at her roommate staring at them. Blushing, Kaoru untangled herself from Kenshin’s embrace and swallowed, “Um… Hi, Misao-chan.”

“Kaoru, you…” Her roommate stared. “That’s…”

Kenshin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Um... Hi, I don’t believe that Miss Kaoru has mentioned me.” He smiled awkwardly, stepped closer to Misao and offered his hand for a handshake, “I am Kaoru’s colleague, Himura Kenshin, that I am. It’s nice to meet you.”

Misao took his hand and shook it. “Uh, Misao. Makimachi. I have heard quite a bit about you.”

“You have?” Kenshin asked, guileless.

“Uh huh.” Misao nodded, her eyes lighting up with unholy glee. “But more importantly, what was with that kiss? Do you kiss all your colleagues like that?”

Kaoru felt like face-palming. “Misao…”

“Hey, hey,” Misao protested. “It’s a valid question! A girl’s gotta know these things.”

Kenshin stiffened. “Uh… No. That’s not the case, that it isn’t.”

“Then, what’s with the kiss?�� Misao’s smile had teeth. “Because if you step in Kaoru’s life just when it suits you and end up hurting my friend…”

Kenshin looked at Kaoru, a question in his eyes. Clearly, he wasn’t about to say anything if she wasn’t okay with it.

Kaoru’s heart melted. She smiled, and stepped to his side and wrapped an arm around his waist. “We are dating.” She said to her friend. “It’s a little bit sensitive information, so please could you keep it to yourself?”

Misao blinked. “Okay, if you say so… but, uh, what about the three-month long disappearing act? Weren’t you angry about that?”

Now Kaoru did cover her eyes and groaned into her palm. How often had she talked, ranted and whined about her mysterious colleague that had left of to shoot his film in China during the last three months to Misao? She couldn’t even venture a guess. “Yes I was, but there was a bit of trouble with the interpreter and...” She trailed off, noting how tense Kenshin seemed to be. Hadn’t he said it was private? Given his habit of understating things, it really had to be something he wasn't comfortable at speaking about. She looked at Kenshin and said decisively, “It’s all fine now.”

He shot her a relieved little smile that spoke more than a thousand words.

She had made the right choice then. She exhaled in relief, spun around and grabbed her phone from the kitchen counter. “But before that, perhaps we could order something to eat?”

Misao glanced at the kitchen sink. “Don’t tell me you burned the dinner again.”

“This time it wasn’t my fault!” Kaoru protested, holding out her phone. “Is Chinese fine for everyone?” She froze, realizing the faux pas as soon as she said it. He has just been three months in China. He had to be sick and tired of Chinese after that.

Kenshin grinned sheepishly. “Or perhaps this one could cook?” He volunteered. “You seemed to have planned on having a homemade meal tonight.”

Kaoru’s stare turned to shock.

Even Misao boggled. “You cook…?”

“Sure,” Kenshin quipped back and leaned down to gather the groceries Misao had dropped to the floor.

“Kenshin…” Kaoru hesitated.

“It’s fine.” He smiled at her. “This one enjoys cooking. It’s one of his hobbies even to this day, that it is. Besides, one did interrupt your cooking rather badly, that one did...”

"That's..." Kaoru cringed.

"Please, Miss Kaoru." Kenshin smiled at her. "Let this one do this small thing for you."

What could she say to that? Wordless, Kaoru nodded at him.

In silence, She and Misao settled down to sit around the dinner table and stare the spectacle of international action mega-star, Himura Kenshin unpacking Misao's groceries with quiet efficiency, and them rummaging through their fridge, pantry, and freezer for supplies to cook a dinner for them.

It was quite obvious that he knew what he was doing.

Kaoru gnawed on her bottom lip in silence, and Misao leaned over to whisper to her ear. “Forget everything I said and hold to him for your life. You and him... It's obviously a match made in heaven.”

AN: Happy new year!

#Rurouni Kenshin #Kenshin Himura #kaoru kamiya #kenkao #kaoken #misao makimachi #Rahmakapala's drabbles #AComedyofRomance

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comfypants4life · 7 years

Text

First Cosplay at 28

It’s never too late to start, right?

I’ve wanted to cosplay since I first saw someone on the internet doing it in university. But I was broke and a full time student and most importantly, I was not happy with my body. I’d done crash diets before and I loved how I looked after two weeks of barely eating, followed by the years in between where I would gain it all back and then some. I put it aside as something I would do when I had more time (to get in shape) and money. As soon as I started working I had absolutely no time and I got a puppy! So no cosplay for me! And as the years past by the cosplay community grew and I started seeing cosplayers that were plus size or cosplaying out of their skin colour. This world was becoming so accessible and I loved it! And I sat at my computer planning out the perfect costumes for this years FanExpo, never getting to it and wearing a fan shirt or pjs (as I have a few).

But it really wasnt enough. Everything was prepackaged and it didnt feel earned. I put so much thought into making a tsunade costume and then in the end being too lazy to make a damn green hapicoat. It was me being lazy as usual. Last year I was so fed up with myself and my life I needed a big change. I quit my job with nothing to go into. I couldn't help it, I was so unhappy, thats all I want to share about it.

I began to focus on me and what I wanted to do. I dont want to go into everything I did to change, because I’m still trying to figure out what I need to change. And I just started writing about myself and Im shy!

Long story short, I re-discovered I liked creating things. I helped my family renovate my grandmas condo and then tried my hand at cosplay.

I absent-mindedly typed my last name into YouTube one day and found the Overwatch minibackstory movie ‘Dragons’. I flipped out. I messaged my dad and uncle who had a few eerie similarities (no dragons or gangster connections, though I wish! :P). I’m the eldest Shimada in my family and I’ve loved a ton of archers in my day (Legolas started it all hehe) so Hanzo caught my interest right away; an elder Shimada with a crazy bow and that dragon tattoo. Was it fate!? (hehe) Looking at his costume, looked perfect for a beginner like me: the pants were baggy and the top didn’t even fit him! He didnt have nearly as many accessories as the other characters and the hair meant I didnt need a wig. This was going to be my perfect first cosplay. I downloaded the trial as soon as I could and realized... I sucked as Hanzo, and I was much better as Genji! T-T I’m more of a hack and slash player! But I did not let that deter me! Ok it deterred me a little. I was suppose to be this skilled ninja archer and they only time I got kills were with the damn dragon! And what about all those other characters that I actually was so into but had no idea where to begin with them. What about Tsunade or Rogue! Naruto had ended awhile ago and no one was talking about Tsunade. It was a tough call but I knew a genderbent Hanzo had not been done to death and it was new and relevant. Not the most genuine reasons to do it but like I said, I really did like the character! I just wasn't too great at using him.

1. Budget- $100

I wasn’t going to go over board with this whole cosplay thing. Searching ready to wear costumes I realized I did not have the budget to spend $$$ on a shiny version of the kimono I wanted. It looked cheap and it would be quite obvious that I had no hand in making it. I just gave myself the figure of $100 to work with and tried my best to find things that would fit and that I could go to with my dog (aka within walking distance). Fortunately there is a Michaels, a DeSerres, a limited dollar store and an art college store within a 1km radius of where I live :D the benefits of living downtown! But no home depot/ big box home improvement stores to help me out.

2. That damn bow.

Looking at Hanzo the first things you notice are his badass shoulder and arm tattoo and that massive bow. Having the character reference for Hanzo was my salvation and seeing the scale of the bow beside his was daunting. It was basically 4/5 as tall as me and with the tips I knew this was going to be the breaking point of this cosplay. If I couldnt do this then I wasn’t going to continue. All the videos and tutorials I watched used tools or products I didn’t have access to or were too expensive. I tracked down a store downtown that sells supplies for a fair price and even at that I couldnt justify using worbla. And forget about making a 5 tall bow out or wood- I didn’t have space for a saw in my condo!

I could not find the foam that I saw a few cosplayers using so I needed to get creative. It needed to be light but sturdy enough. I decided to go with the largest 1 inch styrofoam board I could get my hands on 2 2x3 feet sized pieces! It was light as air and large enough that my while pattern would fit with room to spare on one piece! I took full advantage and then some with the Michaels coupons ranging from 40-50% off I didn’t bother looking anywhere else.

I broke the pattern into six pieces, traced the pattern out like I saw in a million tutorials and then tried to put it all together. However I forgot how much styrofoam shits little balls everywhere when the knife isn't sharp enough. I also did not realize how brittle and impressionable it was! I held it too firmly while I was sanding one side and it was forever dented on the one side. I covered my work with acrylic molding paste and gave it the modpodge then gesso treatment. Days went by as I worked on each piece individually. And when I went to put it all together of course it didn’t fit well!

I will save the rest of the details for my next post that will be focused on this costume because this is becoming way too long of a post. TO WRAP IT UP>>

My point is that even though you research and try to plan your cosplay/ life out shit goes wrong and you got to find a way of getting pass it. There’s times where you just want to give up, you question why you are even doing this at all. But I’ve learned that sometimes you got to just take a step back and breathe. Talk to your friends, even if they are not experts on it they can give you a different perspective and at the very least offer encouragement. Go back to the drawing board and see if there is something you missed because you thought you knew all the answers. Just don’t give up and don’t stop. Because its so much harder to start back again after you’ve given up. And a lot of the little things that you think people will shit on are barely notice unless you bring it up. Focus on the parts of your cosplay/ life that you are proud of and thankful for and learn from those mistakes and make something amazing next time!

#cosplay #beginner #new blog #hanzo shimada

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