this is the stupidest crossover possible but I want Tim to make House his doctor
yes that House
why? He needs someone who is very good, will not give up or send Tim out to a different specialist just because his medical condition is difficult, will not be overly concerned about the danger Tim puts himself in, and will lie on Tim's medical records AND to Batman/Bruce Wayne/all of the Bats without hesitation or fear.
House is and will do all of those things without hesitation. He has no shame, no boundaries, he WILL get into a public fight with Bruce Wayne if it means keeping that man out of his patient's (and House's) business. He will help Tim lie to and gaslight the rest of his family without hesitation.
in exchange, Tim is his favorite patient. Not because they get along, necessarily, Tim is a know-it-all little shit and they constantly bicker and House hates how practically every facet of Tim's existence is a lie (and Tim thinks House is a smug know-it-all jackass who is needlessly cruel and callous bc he thinks the world owes him and never delivers just bc he's in pain, news flash a lot of people are in pain and manage not to be assholes) BUT, 1, Tim brings him really interesting cases and problems, and 2, Tim NEVER lies to House about his medical conditions or what he was doing when they happened.
He lies about literally almost everything else under the sun TO everyone else, but he is 100% completely upfront and honest about his medical history and what is going on with him with House.
admittedly it takes a while for House to realize Tim ISN'T lying to him because some of the shit he says is completely insane ("the vigilante thing is pretty obvious but what do you MEAN you got the Apocalypse virus TWICE, AND SURVIVED, AS A FOURTEEN-FIFTEEN YEAR OLD")
but once he realizes Tim doesn't ever lie to him, he becomes House's favorite patient because at least TIM gives him all of the data he needs as best he's able the moment he asks. At least House doesn't have to waste his time following up on bogus information or figuring out the truth, he can just get right into the meat of the medical issue at hand.
also it's so fun to lie directly to Batman's face, know the man knows, and know he can't do anything about it
580 notes
·
View notes
VERY NON-CANON SHITPOST:
amity finding out that her parents were involved in Whatever The Fuck You Call Whatever They Had Going On with darius & having a moment of sheer panic like. "what if darius is my biological dad. oh titan. is that why he puts up with me. is that why he's somehow been more present in the few years i've been in the coven than my actual dad has been my whole life. what are we"
at some point she lets this worry slip around hunter. hunter, trying not to look like the cat who ate the canary, is like. [thoughtfully] [not laughing at All] [Good Friend Emotional Support Voice] hmm. i guess you could just ask him?? i mean, if it's really bugging you. pretty sure he'll tell you the truth. then at least you'll know one way or the other
amity sits on this for a while because in some rational part of her brain, she IS aware she is being stupid. but after a few weeks of "what if," she finally DOES go to darius like HI. HEY. REALLY QUICK AREYOUMYDAD ACTUALLY DON't anSWER THAT. BYE FOREVER
darius, eyeing this kid who looks so much like alador you could mistake their childhood photos for each other: ....yes.
amity: oh. shit. like actually?? for real???
darius: yup. carried you myself. alador was way more attentive than he was to odalia with your siblings. well. half-siblings, i suppose. that must be why she's so awful to be around. jealousy doesn't look good on anyone. shame your dad never got over me, it must throw Such a wrench in their marriage. haven't you ever wondered why your mother is such a massive bitch??
amity: ......OH. okay. you're fucking with me.
darius, very patiently: yes, amity. I Am Fucking With You.
81 notes
·
View notes
when you're into the Big Ship™ in a Big Fandom™, you have the luxury of having an OTP - a real One True Pairing, where you can read about just them for ages, and you will never run out of fics, and everything is perfect and beautiful and nothing hurts
but when you go to a smaller fandom, you'd better pray to whatever god you worship that someone else in this room ships the same thing that you do, and that if they do, they're writing more than late-night crackfic, because you're on thin fucking ice!
and how small is your small fandom? is it less than 100 fics? maybe even...less than 20 fics?
welp, then it's time to make peace with that god and either open up a text document or learn how to ship everything, because it's swim or drown babey! and your ship is sinking fast
anyway all of this is to say that after hanging out in small fandoms and shipping less-common pairings for a while, going back into a Big Huge Fandom™ is wild because suddenly it's like...wait, why didn't I ship these people again? I don't remember. why was I only sticking to one ship in this fandom?? boring of me, honestly. these guys should make out.
145 notes
·
View notes
Alright, time to elaborate on that other post. Elain by far has had the most free will, the most agency out of the three sisters. Elain stans love to say Nesta coddles her when the reality is Nesta consistently relents to what Elain chooses for herself.
In ACOMAF, Nesta doesn't agree at first to Feyre's request to use their house because she doesn't want to compromise Elain's engagement. Elain is the one to push back, and Nesta relents immediately. What Nesta thinks is best doesn't take precedence over Elain's wants.
We know that Nesta doesn't approve of Greyson. She agrees with Cassian that Elain deserves better, but what Nesta thinks is best doesn't take precedence over Elain's wants.
In ACOWAR, Elain is catatonic. If anything, she should be coddled here. Her and Elain were stuck with these strangers for months. Strangers who were also the people who got them into that mess in the first place. Finally, Feyre shows up to help Nesta figure out how to help their sister. Madja is brought in, who recommends Lucien try to figure it out since they're mates. Nesta pushes back in what might arguably be coddling to keep Lucien from Elain. Feyre tells her to shut the fuck up and let Lucien try. And what do you know? She relents again -- What Nesta thinks is best is ignored because Nesta doesn't have any power in this situation.
In ACOFAS, Nesta has pushed Elain away at this point. She tells her “You have your life, I have mine." That's more or less Nesta saying do whatever tf you want Elain it's not my business. Not coddling!
In ACOSF, ohhh the infamous scene when Elain finally develops a personality starts coming out of her shell. Please try to remember at this point, Nesta has been locked in a house and barely sees Elain. The IC doesn't give a fuck about what Nesta wants for this whole book—Why would they choose now to listen to her? Literally everyone except Azriel agrees that Elain should be able to scry if she wants to. It would literally be easier for the IC to let Elain do it over waiting for Nesta who didn't want to do it.
"Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can't have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater."
Elain says all this and then... goes back to "tend to her little garden." It's a toothless moment. Elain stans would rather blame Nesta for coddling her than consider that maybe Elain just didn't try very hard to take on some responsibility for her sister who was supposed to be in "rehab." It sounds fucking stupid in the context that Elain hasn't seen Nesta at all between ACOFAS and ACOSF -- Nesta physically isn't around to coddle her. Elain doesn't contribute because she chooses not to or because the IC simply doesn't ask her to. We don't have any context for what she's been up to aside from some vague comments about lying about gardening or whatever Cassian said.
Amren admits that they're using Elain to manipulate Nesta. There was zero practical reason for them to do this other than because they care more about Elain's safety than Nesta's safety. The IC are the ones who have the power to "hold Elain back," not her sister who is locked in a house and never sees her—The IC could easily say fuck you to Nesta and have Elain do it. They didn't even need to bring Nesta into this conversation!! They could've gone to Elain first!!
Some Elain stans want so badly for Nesta to be the thing holding Elain back and it's very transparent to me. I have seen people go so far as to blame Nesta for Elain's uselessness in the cabin and that Nesta abused her too—sorry, what? I mean nice try, but Elain already admitted to being just as neglectful, and not even because she was genuinely remoseful towards Feyre—She said that shit to defend Nesta from Cassian.
I'm not even saying Elain isn't coddled but Nesta sure as fuck isn't the one doing it. Nesta doesn't even have her own free will how the fuck is she supposed to take away someone else's? Nesta choosing to do things so Elain doesn't have to isn't coddling. It's well established that if Nesta couldn't successfully scry, they would've gone to Elain, which means Nesta never had the power to stop Elain from scrying. Nesta has never tried to take away Elain's free will and even if she wanted to, she has no power to do that.
101 notes
·
View notes
watching a horror movie with the ghoulettes and ghouls
Cumulus - Loves it when you cuddle into her side and hide the bottom half of your face with the blanket. You usually hold a pillow during particularly scary scenes but she is a much soft, warmer, and sweeter substitute. Loves paranormal horror and ghosts.
Cirrus - Queen of the move where you slowly wrap your arm around someone else's shoulders. Very smooth. She strokes your arm throughout the movie and tickles you when you start at a jump scare. Will trace her claws up the inside of your thigh during a tense moment on the screen, making you blush.
Sunshine - Is the jump scare. You'll be at a quiet part in the movie and she'll screech and leap at you, making you scream and swat at her while she attempts to distract you with kisses. You barely get a chance to hit the pause button when she drags you to the floor with her.
Aurora - Is huddled underneath the blanket with you, but has a distinct taste for gorier horror movies. When you're grossed out she loves it and gets a good laugh out of your queasy face but ultimate comforts you in the end. Hogs the popcorn.
Swiss - Attempts to distract you from your fear with his lips on your neck, fangs scraping against your pulse point. Especially enjoyable when the two of you are watching a vampire movie - you love the irony. When you're not canoodling you've got your legs in his lap.
Aether - King of making a comfortable space for you. Pillows, blankets, snacks, everything. You definitely swoon a little when he wraps one of his big, strong arms around you and pulls you into his chest.
Mountain - Unshakable. No matter the scare, no matter how gory he can weather it all. Teases you when you jump at the simplest things but still knows to leave the night light on when the two of you go to bed.
Rain - Gets distracted easily while watching a horror movie because he's got his fingers running through your hair. Cannot stomach heavy gore - which means you get to tease him for being a very poor example of a ghoul.
Dewdrop - Tries to sneak his hand into your pants at random intervals throughout the movie. Will murmur delicious little sinister promises into your ear at the same time someone is being mauled or mangled on the screen. He knows exactly what he is and what it does to you.
Phantom - Ultimate scaredy cat. You jump, he jumps and he has an iron grip on your hand the whole time. Hides his face behind a pillow at scenes even you can handle, which makes you laugh despite the fear.
297 notes
·
View notes