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emisprocrastinatingbywriting · 3 months

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Alone and Forsaken

Chapter 6 Summary:

Waking up along alone is certainly not what you expected after a night of passionate love making with Joel. To make things worse, a snowstorm is sweeping through the trees, making you nervous about his whereabouts. With no other option, you leave to go find him and are surprised with what you find.

Warnings: Minor Injuries, Angst and Fluff, Soooo much smut, likely truly filthy smut and I make no apologies, Joel is bad at feelings, mentions of past abuse/trauma, and brief mention of violence towards the end (not towards reader or Joel)

A/N: Hello my lovelies, I hope your week has been good. Major smut warning for this chapter, just truly filthy fucking near the end (I'm ovulating rn, my bad lol). Amidst the loads of smut, we learn a bit more about reader's background. More importantly, we get the first glimpse into who Paul is. This chapter is mainly through Joel's perspective as he works through some things with reader. Again, read with caution if you have past trauma. Take care of yourself always!

Chapter 6/20

Chapter 6: Confessions

“Please.”

“I already said no.”

“But-”

“Behave.”

You whined, kicking your legs out in frustration before a sharp smack to your ass made you yelp. The thick drag in between your folds started again as a palm came up to soothe the burn.

“Joel,” you whimpered.

The feeling of the tip of his cock nudging your clit as he rubbed his length up and down your seam made you twitch. Another slap came down on the other cheek and you wailed. Joel cooed at you, rubbing at the angry red mark he had left behind with one hand as the other held your hips in place.

“Jesus darling, you’re prettier than a picture like this. Wish you could see it,” Joel groaned as he continued to rut against your folds, the head catching on your entrance as you deepened the arch in your back.

“Ungh - fuck, please - need you inside,” you mewled, trying to wiggle closer so that you could sink down on to the cock that throbbed against your slickened center.

“Hmmmm… I don’t know. I don’t think you need it that bad,” he teased.

You let out a grunt, frustration getting the better of you as you ripped out of his grasp and began to crawl up the bed. Just before you reached the headboard, hands grabbed your hips and yanked you back as you squealed. Joel brought both of his hands down, a wave of slick dribbling down your thighs as both sides of your ass smarted.

“Sweet girl, ‘thought I told you to stay still while I’m playing with this pretty pussy. Can’t you feel how wet she is for me? Be good and maybe I’ll let her have it,” he tsked, positioning himself before he restarted the slow grind against you.

Defeated, you relented, crying into the sheets and trying to keep yourself still as he dragged himself back and forth. You had no idea how he was keeping himself together, your heat had made you desperate for him but his rut seemed to only make him mean. Heat gathered inside of you, clit throbbing as the feeling of him against you had you racing towards your release. Joel’s fingers dug into your hips, hand coming up every so often to smack your ass as you moaned and wept.

“P-please, I can’t - AH! Daddy, ungh, inside please. Need you inside,” you stuttered, a handful of swats making it almost impossible to finish your request.

Joel chuckled and slowed his pace, hushing you as you whimpered and thrashed. You were close to cussing him out but the words died in your throat. Joel began to breach your entrance, slick soaking the end of his dick as he held it against your hole. The two of you felt how your walls tried to pull him deeper as tears blurred your vision. You babbled and keened, begging Joel to push himself further in.

He leaned forward, covering your back with his broad chest. The feeling of his strong nose skimming your neck made you shiver. You felt him smile against your skin, kissing both of your tear stained cheeks before he leaned in to whisper in your ear.

“Careful what you wish for,” Joel said softly before slamming into you.

An ear-splitting, high pitched wail was ripped out of your throat as you shot up in bed. Confused and sweating, it took a few seconds to shake off the filthy dream. You rubbed your bleary eyes and yawned, surveying the disaster. Sweat, slick, and cum soaked the sheets below you, traces of you and Joel covering almost every inch of the room now. Joel had fucked you last night until his rut hit somewhere between your third or fourth round, then he had fucked you some more. He stopped only to get you a snack and a glass of water, grumbling as you made him share it with you again. After you were fed he was back on you, sending you over the edge again and again.

The final round was much like your dream. He had you ass up with your face shoved into the sheets below. You drooled into the fleece as he held the back of your neck, pushing you deeper into the bed as you arched against him. His pace was unbearable, his thrusts resounding throughout the room with a wet thwap, thwap, thwap. Joel had already made you cum three times in this position and the overstimulation was becoming almost too much. You couldn’t help the way your body convulsed each time he drove into you with a grunt, sobbing and hiccuping as he pulled you closer to yet another release.

“P-pleeeease, I can’t. Need you to umph - need you to cum in me,” you whimpered.

Joel hissed, his thrusts faltering for a moment before speeding up, “Yeah baby? Is that it? Is that what you need? Need me to cum in that little pussy? Fuck, so fucking wet for me - shit!”

A couple more thrusts and his knot was pulsing against your walls. Eyes bleary, you came painfully hard against him for what felt like the millionth time. The pleasure tore through you and fried every nerve ending in your body as you screamed. Without any warning you had collapsed onto the sheets below, pulling a grunt from Joel as the connection between you had yanked him down on top of you. Your head felt like it was underwater as you laid there. You went in and out of consciousness as he pulled you both on your sides, honeyed words coaxing you down from your high. His rasp had lulled you, warm skin covering you like a thick blanket as you snuggled back into him.

You drifted for a bit, barely noticing when he finally pulled out and left the room. Moments later you groaned as he flipped you on to your back. You felt him cleaning between your legs, cooing as the wet cloth made you whine at him. After Joel was done he rolled you back on to your side, positioning himself behind you before he tucked you into his chest. His arms holding you and legs tangled with your own, a feeling of peace washed over you. You smiled as he kissed the back of your head and whispered goodnight. Sleep had already pulled you under before you could respond.

As you remembered the past 24 hours with Joel, a rush of desire had your core dripping and abdomen cramping up again. You whipped your head around in search of him. Despite the slight ache that made you wince as you shifted, the heat that still lurked in your system called for him. You turned, finding nothing but empty sheets and discarded clothes around you.

“Joel?,” you called, waiting for an answer for a moment before slipping out of bed.

The heat was bearable for a moment, still there but prowling in the corners of your being as you moved through the hall. The air was frigid against your damp skin and your teeth chattered as you walked. The cabin was colder than it had ever been and you could see your breath puff out in front of you. For a moment you wondered why Joel would even be out here and then you remembered how his rut had turned him into a furnace. You shook your head and tried to forget about the heat that radiated off his skin as he pounded into you. Joel probably couldn’t even feel how cold it was in the cabin.

Reaching the living room, you tried not to gag as fear made your stomach churn. Knees shaking, you walked over to the front door. The wood thumped against the frame as frosty wind howled outside. You jumped as the heavy metal latch banged against the frame. Grabbing the latch to keep it from spooking you again, you took a deep breath and poked your head out.

A snow storm had arrived sometime after you finally passed out in the early morning and it covered everything in white. The sight would have been beautiful if the wind wasn’t tearing through the trees and stirring up the flurries as they fell. Squinting as you tried to find his figure amongst the snow, it was nearly impossible to see more than a few feet in front of you. To make things worse, the evening light was slowly dying and a new wave of fear had you trembling in the doorway. Joel was out in this? Your eyes snapped to the coat hanger and noticed that Joel had left his hefty jacket behind.

You swore, mind racing as the thought of him lying dead under a layer of snow forced you into action. The cramps in your abdomen were growing more impatient but you ignored them and slipped on Joel’s forgotten coat. You shoved on a pair of clunky boots, growling in frustration as you realized that the boots you donned were his too. You wondered how he had survived for years out here by himself and thought about tearing him a new one as you tried to prepare for the bitter wind. Steeling yourself, you took a deep breath before you set off to find him.

- Joel -

Panic.

That’s what Joel felt as he watched you sleep peacefully in his arms.

Joel had woken up to the feeling of you shifting, a soft hmph coming from you as you hugged one of his arms that was thrown over your body. A sleepy smile broke out on Joel’s face, a long forgotten feeling sending butterflies loose in his belly. Looking down, he wondered why he had ever pushed you away. His eyes ran over your body, admiring every inch before his gaze had landed on the cum leaking out of your core. It made his cock twitch at first, kickstarting the feverish thoughts about him fucking you, claiming you, filling you with him until it took. It was that last part that caught him off guard.

He cussed, beginning to panic as he realized what he had just done. Not only had he fucked you, oh no, he had knotted you. And not once, but so many times that he couldn’t even count. Even better, he did this while you were in heat and he was in a rut, which upped the chances of it taking by like a million percent. He gulped, his heart starting to thunder as he slid out of bed as quietly as he could, throwing on random clothes before tiptoeing out of the room.

Joel paced in the living room as he tore into himself. What the fuck did he think would happen? Of course, knotting you might lead to pregnancy. He was a grown man, he should know that. What was he thinking? Well, that’s just it, he wasn’t thinking. Joel growled, rubbing his face as he cursed every God that had ever existed for giving him a cock. His eyes snapped open as the panic burning his chest continued to build, his rut making it so much worse. Holy fuck, what if you were pregnant already? No, that’s stupid of course you’re not. And plus, he could still smell the slick heat calling to him from the bedroom.

Still, the smell did little to comfort him and Joel’s mind began to spiral with the possibilities. Okay, so what if he did get you pregnant? He needed to keep you safe. Oh fuck, he needed to keep his pup safe. His racing heart made him sway on his feet, the walls shrinking in on him as he thought of the words the intruder said to him. Paul will be coming for what’s his, echoed in his ears over and over as he began to tense and growl. His rut brought out a brutal side to him and the rage he felt made him practically vibrate as he fantasized about slitting the throat of the unknown man. Paul couldn’t have you, you belonged with him. Delirious and sweating, Joel had shoved his feet into the first pair of shoes he found and trudged out into the blizzard.

Operating on autopilot, he worked for a few hours. He didn’t go very far, wanting to be near enough to hear you in case of danger. Joel settled on fencing in the trees that surrounded the cabin, tearing the skin on his hands as he worked with the sharp wire. Mind focused on nothing but keeping everyone else out, he didn’t even think about the fact that he would have to leave some sort of exit for himself. At some point Joel would need to get out to get water and check his traps but his brain was clouded with fear. Instead he sealed the two of you in, not even blinking as the snow covered his shoulders and the barbs nicked his hands. He was just about to start setting new traps along the perimeter when he heard a soft voice call his name.

Joel whipped around, seeing nothing but snow as he tried to pinpoint where it came from. He almost ignored it, thinking that maybe his rut was making him hear things. But when the frigid breeze brought a faint whiff of his favorite smell, he knew it wasn’t his mind playing tricks on him. Joel surged forward, his strides quick and determined. Carried by instinct alone, he found his way to you in no time, grabbing you and turning you to face him as you yelped in surprise.

“Joel! What are you doing out here? It’s not safe,” you blubbered over the howling wind, shoving at his chest as tears of frustration froze on your cheeks.

He blinked, trying to make sense of what you said. Not safe? Joel knew it wasn’t safe, that’s why he was out here. Couldn’t you see that?

“M’gonna take care of you. Nobody’s gonna take you. Not ever,” Joel growled, his eyes frantic as he shook your body where it stood, trying to make you understand his urgency.

Joel could feel your eyes burning into him as he whipped his head around, looking for any sign of danger. He didn’t like you out here, it was too open. As he stood in front of you, he tried to figure out where the vantage point would be if someone wanted to attack. Someone could throw some sort of fabric over the fence and vault it. If they did that he would need to push you behind him and charge. Or they could climb a tree, that would be easier. From the tree, they could just hop down on top of him. If they got the jump on him he would need to throw them off before they could do any damage. If Joel got hurt, you would be without protection. What would he do if that happened? Chest tight, Joel felt like he was about to keel over when soft, cold hands grabbed his face and yanked it forward.

“Joel,” you said seriously, cheeks flushed and nose slightly runny as your worried eyes met his.

“I need-,” he stopped as you cut him off.

“You NEED to come inside Joel. It’s not safe out here in the storm. I need you to come back with me right now.”

A grunt rumbled in Joel’s chest as the wind tore through the both of you, panic still hooking into his heart and pulling him back towards his work.

“Please alpha.”

Suddenly torn, Joel groaned as one half of him now needed to stay and continue to fortify, while the other half needed to fuck you into the mattress until you gushed around him. He tried to shake the latter from his mind, trying to remember the words the intruder had said to keep his mind straight. Joel tried hard not to think about his hard cock pressing against the cotton shorts that covered his - Wait, what? What the fuck was he wearing?

Looking down, Joel was greeted by the sight of his own tan legs staring back at him. He swore, realizing that he had come all the way out here in nothing but a pair of boxers, a t- shirt, and a pair of ratty slippers. Meeting your gaze once more, he suddenly understood the anxious look in your eye. Joel looked absolutely insane. He was outside soaking wet during a snowstorm with barely any clothes on, trying to figure how to argue his way into staying as his palms bled against the bulky coat that covered your shaking figure.

“I uh - I don’t-,” he trailed off, embarrassed at the state he was in.

“I know, c’mon. Come back with me Joel,” you soothed, pulling his arm behind you as you turned back towards the cabin.

Joel followed dumbly, fighting the urge to tear his arm away and run back to his doomsday preparations. The only thing that kept him on your heels was the sight of your bare legs pebbled with goosebumps. Guilt swirled in his gut as he realized that you had come out to find him in nothing but a coat and boots. Your body had probably shook from the harsh breeze as you trudged through the layers of thick snow, only to find him in this state. He wondered briefly how long you had been outside but he had to stop. Thinking about it made him close to tears.

After reaching the cabin, you pulled him inside and latched the door. With the door shut, you moved to undress him. Joel tried to object but you had glared at him until he relented. He gulped, suddenly feeling like he was a little boy rather than a 56 year old man. For someone who was so sweet, he now understood that you could be fucking scary when you wanted to be. Wet clothes torn off, you led him to the couch and shoved him down before covering him with a blanket.

“Honey I don’t need-,” Joel started, trying to get up the moment he noticed the fire had gone out.

“Shut up.”

Joel guffawed, the alpha in him begging him to ignore it and build a nice big fire for you but your tone made him stay put. He watched as you turned, ridding yourself of the soaked jacket and boots before trailing off into the kitchen. Joel stared at the wall, shame making his breaths rattle in his chest as he swallowed thickly. He heard you click on the kettle and tried to focus on the sound of you readying what he assumed was tea so that he wouldn’t start crying. Joel felt absolutely useless. His cock ached as it leaked against the soft pudge of his stomach but he ignored it, closing his eyes and trying to calm himself.

He heard you move back into the room, setting down a mug on the side table to his left before rustling with the fireplace. He listened to the thud of logs being tossed in, the crinkling of paper, the flicking of a lighter, and soft bursts of air coming from your lips to feed the flame. Joel’s eyes opened as you stood in front of the fire, the dying light that crept in from the windows making you look ethereal. You turned and walked back over to him, moving the blanket to the side before you slid onto his lap. Joel whined at the coldness of your skin, gritting his teeth to keep his emotions in. You sighed, covering the both of you with a blanket before reaching over to grasp the steaming mug.

“Drink.”

Joel looked down at the mug and back up at you before he weakly repeated the words you had said to him the day earlier, “Share it with me?”

You smiled, nodding your head. He took the first few gulps fast. The minty liquid scalded his tongue and he winced. He didn’t mind it too much though, the pain sobered him a bit. You hissed like you could feel his pain yourself and snatched the mug away from him. Joel grimaced as you tested it, watching as you coughed from the temperature and quickly placed the mug back on the side table. You turned to him with an eyebrow raised and he looked back at you sheepishly. Sighing again, you reached back to the side table and grabbed what looked to be a damp cloth, pulling one of his bleeding hands up to clean.

“You gonna tell me what that was about?,” you asked softly, frowning at the cuts.

Joel shifted under you, his heart racing with your core so close to his painfully hard cock. He really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. However, as he watched you move to wrap his hand in a bandage, he knew he had no choice.

“I got scared,” he mumbled, watching you work to avoid your gaze.

You hummed, switching hands before you asked, “Of me again?”

His eyes widened, looking up at you in confusion as you continued to work. Your eyes stayed on his hand, putting the cloth aside and grabbing the bandages as he sat there with his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

“Wh- scared of you? I’ve never been - Darling, I’m not - I just - What?,” Joel said, stumbling over his words as he tried to make sense of the question.

Joel tried to get his thoughts straight, but it didn’t help that he was also actively trying to keep himself from canting his hips upwards. Your eyes met his as you finished the other hand. If he was a weaker man he probably would’ve moaned as they pierced through his rough exterior, making him grind his teeth as his dick jumped. Leaning down, you kissed the rough bandage before placing your hands on his shoulders.

“Fine. It wasn’t me this time,” you said, bulldozing through Joel’s attempts to speak as you continued, “But it was something. What was it?”

Joel felt helpless. He didn’t want to tell you about his worries, especially about what the intruder had said. He couldn’t, not with you so vulnerable. Joel had no idea what to do and your gaze made him nervous as he tried to think of an answer.

“Sweetheart I -,” he gasped as you began to rock your hips against him, soaking him as he tried not to whine.

“You what? Big bad alpha can’t speak? Has to run away from me instead of talking it through,” you challenged, anger seeping into your tone and making him groan as you pulled his hair.

Joel swallowed and moved to grab your hips, needing to pull you against him harder but you shoved his bandaged fists away. He whimpered desperately, which surprised him but made you smirk as you continued to rub yourself over him. Joel felt like he was in a dream as utter shock quickly turned into overwhelming desire.

“Aw, and now he wants to touch me. How sweet. Too bad he couldn’t use his words. Now he gets to watch,” you spat, moving your hand down to grab ahold of him, positioning his cock at your entrance before sliding down in one go.

You both groaned, his cock twitching against the grip your pussy had on him as slick dripped down his balls and stained the couch below. Before Joel had a chance to say anything you were off, rising so that only the tip stayed inside before dropping down hard. The pace you set was brutal and it had Joel pressing his thumbs into his torn palms to keep himself from cumming too quickly. Choked groans and whines tumbled freely from his mouth, the pressure building in him as you used him for your own pleasure.

“This what you need, daddy?,” you asked breathily, pace unfaltering as his head spun, “Need me to remind you who you belong to? Who owns this fucking cock Joel, tell me.”

Joel choked on his spit at his own words being shot back at him. He had never allowed someone to use him like this, to claim his body as their own. The thought of anyone doing that had never appealed to him but now, with your pussy gushing around his cock and your words making him dizzy, he knew he could get behind one person doing it to him. He closed his eyes, trying to get it together before his attention was snapped back to you by a harsh grip on his hair. You pulled his head back, eyes meeting as you bounced ruthlessly in his lap. An embarrassingly loud moan escaped his lips as you tugged on his curls again, his knot already starting to nudge your entrance.

“You want to knot me Joel? Want to fill me up - ah fuck - make me yours?,” you asked, pace getting more frantic as your pussy began to tighten around him.

Joel nodded enthusiastically, all previous fears about cumming inside of you thrown out the window as he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and prayed you were close. He needed to feel you choke his cock before he finished, he needed it like he needed the air he breathed. Grabbing his chin with one hand as the other used his shoulder for support, you pulled his gaze from the bouncing tits in his face and made him meet your gaze.

“If you want to cum inside, answer me. Who owns this fucking cock? ” you grunted.

Eyebrows pinched together and cock on the verge of exploding, Joel broke. Desperate words spilled out of him before he could catch them as you kept up the frantic pace.

“Fucking shit baby, you! You own it! S’all yours, fuuuck. Please honey just - ha - just let me have it. God fuck, m’yours. I’m fucking yours just - ungh - please!,” Joel moaned wantonly.

You smiled down at him sweetly before slamming down onto his knot, locking the two of you together as you both came.

Joel let out a shout as his cock erupted inside of you. His hands moved to hold your hips down, forcing you as far down as you could go. His cock released a torrent of cum, painting your insides white until you were bloated with it. You moaned and shook against him, wave after wave of pleasure making you clamp down around his knot and dragging him back into another orgasm. His vision blacked out, mouth finding your neck and sucking at your gland as you arched into him. Joel used every bit of strength he had not to bite down and firmly seal the deal, to make you officially his, but he couldn’t. That would have to be a conversation, a big one. He would never force you into something you didn’t want. Still, a small part of him secretly hoped you would claim him first.

After the last bit of pleasure had been milked out of him, he sighed and sat back, eyes raking over your bare skin. You looked as fucked out as he felt. Your hair was a disaster, eyes teary and red, sweat covering every inch of you as you tried to catch your breath. It had him twitching painfully inside of you again. You were a sight that he could get used to looking at, one that he knew he could never go without now.

“Where did that come from?,” Joel panted, his mind still reeling.

You laughed and shook your head, hands coming up to play with the curls at the back of his neck.

“I had a dream that you were being… Well, you were being kinda bossy and I felt like maybe I needed to try it out. Thought it might prove a point,” you huffed, “I mean, I left out some stuff but that was the jist.”

Joel laughed then groaned, his knot twitching inside of you from the jostling. He took a breath and closed his eyes to slow his racing heart before he reopened them to look at you.

“The fuck did you leave out?,” he asked.

You rolled your eyes, cheeks going red as you said, “I don’t know, you were being a bit rough. Smacking my ass so that it left a mark, stuff like that. I could get a little more bossy but you’re sitting down so…”

Joel squawked, “You’d have reddened my backside if I wasn’t sitting?”

You shrugged, “Dunno, maybe.”

A peal of laughter came out of Joel, the admission taking him completely off guard. Your head snapped up, face twisted in annoyance for a second before you joined him. Uncaring of the way his knot jolted from the outburst, Joel laughed until he had to wipe tears from his eyes. After his laughter subsided he met your gaze and smiled.

“Well sweetheart, if there’s anyone I’d let slap me silly, I reckon it’d be you,” he joked.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you said, beaming at him.

Shaking his head, Joel chuckled, “M’ sure you will.”

You smiled for a second before a serious look crossed your face again and you looked away, suddenly avoiding his gaze as you twirled his graying strands. He could tell you wanted to ask him something but that you didn’t want to upset him. Looking down at where the two of you were locked together, he sighed, resigning himself to a conversation that he didn’t want to have. It’s not like he was going anywhere.

“Go on darling, say what you want to say. I won’t get mad.”

You looked up, studying his face for a moment before you asked again, “Why were you scared?”

Joel sighed, his fears coming to the surface once more, but he pushed them away. He needed to be honest with you, that much was clear now. If he was going to figure out how to deal with this, he needed to know what had happened. And plus, it wasn’t fair for you to be in the dark about someone who may or may not have been a big part of your life. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but a small part of him was worried that you might actually want this Paul guy to come and take you away from him. Joel wasn’t sure he could survive that if it happened. He’d already lost so much. But still, he needed to be honest.

“I need to ask you something. Now, I don’t want you to get upset but I just… It’s something that the man that came in here said. I wanted to tell you about it but then with your heat, I thought maybe it’d be best if I waited. Then my rut came and the thought of it is driving me crazy. I mean you saw how crazy I went and I -” you placed your lips against his, cutting off his rambling.

Joel’s eyes slipped shut as his lips touched yours. It was quick and sweet, just enough to bring him back down to earth before he spiraled again. His lips chased yours as you parted and the sound of your giggle made him smile.

“Ask me Joel.”

He nodded and grabbed one of your hands in his, rubbing his thumb over the knuckles as he began.

“Who's Paul and Cooper?” Joel asked cautiously.

Joel winced as he watched your face fall, squeezing your hand in his to try and ground you. A million emotions flickered across your face. Shock, fear, anger, sadness, and then back to fear.

“I d-don’t - how did you -,” you stammered, trying to pull a sentence together but failing.

“The man that was here, he um… Before I uh… Well, before I killed him, he kept talking about how Paul and Cooper were looking for you. How Paul would be coming for what’s his and um… Well, I got the notion that he meant that y’all were together or something,” Joel said, treading extremely carefully as your face grew more and more pinched.

“I am not his, I am my own fucking person Joel. Paul doesn’t own me, I don’t give a shit what he says. Nobody fucking owns my body but me. I thought you would understand that. And Cooper can go fuck himself,” you snarled.

Joel put his hands up in defense and shook his head wildly, scrambling to tear the foot from his mouth.

“No, of course not baby. I’m not - That’s not what I’m saying. I would never think - Own you? ‘Course nobody can own you, that’s not what I was trying to say. I was just trying to tell you what the man said, I’m not - oh fuck, I’m screwing this up,” he stuttered, his heart rate picking up again as you glared at him.

With his stuttered protest hanging in the air, you relaxed a little in his lap. Joel watched as you looked away, suddenly seeming a lot more deflated as you stared at the carving of the cowboy that sat on the bookshelf.

“I’m sorry Joel. I know I shouldn’t… It’s just with my heat and everything - I swear I didn’t mean to snap at you or assume that you would be like him. I just -,” you stopped and bit your cheek as your words faltered.

Joel shook his head, reaching out with one of his hands to brush the tears away as they fell. He hushed you, bringing the other to your hip to rub soothing circles into the skin as he had before.

“S’alright darling. You don’t got anything to apologize for. Alphas can be… Well, a lot of us can be assholes, I know that. I’d never try to… Your body is your own honey, I know that. I’d never assume otherwise, I swear,” he said softly, hoping you would understand.

You sniffed and nodded, “I know Joel.”

“Good. So just talk to me baby,” Joel encouraged as he brushed the hair off of your face.

You nodded, looking down for a second and pulling in one long breath before you began.

“Paul was chosen to be my mate. I couldn’t - Omegas didn’t really have a choice where I grew up, so there wasn’t much I could do but I… I knew Paul. He was one of Josiah’s closest men back home and he was… scary.”

Joel furrowed his brow, “Scary how?”

“Scary like, I don’t know. He was really mean to anyone who wasn’t an alpha. Betas, he could stomach to a certain degree but he would be a lot snappier. But if an omega talked without being spoken to in front of him, he’d have them thrown into the pit for a week. He was even mean to animals, Jake saw him kill a dog once for taking food he’d left out. It was this little boy’s dog, he had rescued it before he even got to camp. Brought it all the way across the country but Paul just killed the poor thing like it was nothing,” you said, shuddering at the memory.

A sick feeling rushed over Joel and twisted his stomach, making him grit his teeth as he listened. He tried to focus on calming you, knowing that if he opened his mouth all that would come out would be a detailed report on the many ways he could kill Paul.

“Anyways… So, I never liked him. He always followed me around and would try to get me alone, but my mom was so strict. It was the only time I was ever thankful for it actually, because it meant that I was never left with him. He always looked at me in a way that made me feel…” you stopped and pressed a finger to the tip of your nose as you tried to think of the word.

“Uncomfortable?” Joel provided.

“Yeah, uncomfortable I guess. It just… always made me feel kinda dirty, like he was trying to see through my clothes or something,” you said.

Joel nodded thoughtfully, “That’s your instincts. Smart that you listened to them. Lot of young people don’t ‘cus they want to be nice and then they wind up getting hurt.”

You thought it over for a second before you nodded and continued.

“I guess so. Didn’t matter much anyways. About two years ago, Jake got caught trying to sneak away with Liam,” you started but he cut you off.

“Whose Liam?” he asked.

Joel kicked himself for interrupting. It reminded him how Sarah used to tease him for asking too many questions when she tried to talk to him about her friends. He could only ever keep track of a few names, the less mentioned friends always getting forgotten or confused with another.

“Liam was Jake’s boyfriend. He was really sweet. Jake thought he was handsome but I could never get over how red his hair was,” that earned a huff of laughter from Joel and you smiled back for a moment before continuing, “They wanted to run away and start a new life together.”

Joel nodded for you to continue. Watching as your face grew solemn once more, he squeezed your hand again to bring you back to earth. You looked up and squeezed him back before moving on.

“Josiah said Jake was to be mated to Paul’s younger brother Cooper. He wasn’t like Paul, I always thought he was actually pretty nice in comparison. Still, he never said anything when Paul was on a rampage, always looked too scared. I guess Jake couldn’t take it so he tried to get out. They got caught and Josiah flipped because they were both omegas. He kept yelling and calling them a bunch of really bad things, and they ended up hanging Liam for some charge. I don’t remember what it’s called now… Sodony, maybe?”

“Sodomy?,” he guessed, trying to keep his face neutral as the story just kept getting worse.

You nodded, “Yeah, that’s it I think. They were going to hang Jake too but I started yelling. I begged Josiah first but he wouldn’t budge, so I tried to get Paul to stop it. I thought maybe since he liked me, he might agree to let Jake go to the pit instead, and he did. He convinced Josiah to let Jake go. A couple of weeks later Jake got out and married Cooper. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so sad.”

You stopped and Joel waited, not wanting to interrupt again.

“About a month after that, Josiah said I had to marry Paul. I begged him not to make me, I even asked if it could be someone else but he was set on Paul. There was nothing I could do. The wedding was awful, I refused to say my vows but it didn’t matter. Josiah married us. I was hoping that I would get hit by lightning or something until my mom pulled me aside. She shoved me into a room with her and Miriam. They got me out of the stupid dress and gave me some supplies. Mom didn’t say a word but Miriam opened the window and told me to go, so I left,” you said.

Joel cocked his head in confusion, “Thought you said you came here because your place got overrun.”

You nodded, “It did. I left for about two months. Figured Paul would just ask Josiah for another mate, he had already gone through two others. But he made them keep looking for me. They finally caught up and threw me in the pit. Rachel came to see me a couple times while I was there. Miriam and her were making plans to get me and Jake out of town, but they never got the chance. The day we were overrun was the day I got out. I haven’t even seen Paul since the day they caught me.”

That was so much to unravel, but there was one part in particular that irked Joel so he asked, “Gone through? What do you mean he’s gone through two other omegas?”

Shrugging, you looked at him and said, “Omegas don’t count. First one didn’t listen to him, or something like that I’m not sure, and died in the pit. I was young when it happened, maybe thirteen or so. And the other one had a high risk pregnancy. Miriam said she needed an abortion but Paul didn’t want to hear it so both the omega and the pup died. That happened about two years before Josiah set us up.”

Joel’s mind spun with this information. What the actual fuck? He gathered that the place you had grown up in was a cult, there was no doubt in his mind about that. But omegas don’t count? Forced marriages? Fucking forced births? He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. In the back of his mind he knew he should say something to comfort you, but he was pissed.

“I’m going to kill him,” he stated, forgetting that you were still in front of him despite the fact that his softening cock was still inside of you. You laughed and the movement forced him to remember your presence. You looked at him sweetly, which made him extremely confused. Why were you so calm?

“I’m sure you will alpha,” you chuckled.

Joel shook his head, pushing himself up as he continued, “I’m serious. He doesn’t get to just treat you or fucking any omega like that. M’gonna rip his fucking head off if I ever see him. Paul can’t have you, I will kill him for thinking that he ever could darling. I swear.”

Smiling, you rubbed at the whiskers on his cheeks. He looked up at you, eyes sharp as he willed you to understand that he was being completely serious. Joel was going to destroy Paul the second he came within fifty feet of you.

“I know Joel, that’s why I’m not worried. I trust you.”

He gasped. You trusted him? Given the story that you had just told him, you had no reason to trust anybody. And you trusted him? Joel Miller, of all people. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that you were real. Any normal person would be broken by now, jagged and cracked from the weight of all that had happened. And here you were, with probably a million more stories that would make him want to scream, yet you were still a drop of sunshine.

“I think you might be one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, baby,” Joel said. And he meant it completely.

Laughing, you tried to protest and swat him away but he persisted.

“No stop - agh - wait shit, okay hold on honey,” he said.

Stopping to pull out, he flipped you on your back and loomed over you, caging you in between his forearms before he continued, “Most people would not have survived all of that, and if they did - shit honey, if they did they probably would have turned out a lot like me. Tired and mean. But you? You went through everything that you did, so much shit that I ain’t even heard yet probably, and you’re still… you.”

Tears formed in your eyes and you whined, pushing weakly against his chest to try to escape the intensity of the moment but Joel wouldn’t let you. He grabbed your face, leaning down to kiss everywhere he could.

“You’re kind,” Joel kissed your nose.

“You’re smart,” he kissed your left cheek.

“You’re strong,” he kissed your right cheek.

“You’re funny,” he kissed your chin.

“And you’re fucking beautiful,” he finished, leaning down to capture your lips.

The kiss was electric as your mouths moved together as one, that unsaid feeling growing bigger and bigger inside of Joel with each passing moment. He fought the urge to say it, those three little words that were getting hard to ignore. It was way too soon and right now, with you having just bared your soul to him and both of you sweating from the need rising again, he needed to wait. Lungs screaming for air, Joel pulled his lips from yours and panted against your mouth.

“Joel,” you whimpered as your heat demanded attention.

“Are you sure?” he asked, wary of spooking you after everything you had told him.

Nodding, you pushed some of his hair back as it fell into his eyes. He couldn’t get over how beautiful you were, hair laid out against the couch, eyes bright from tears, a dusting of pink over your cheeks, and the way you looked at him - fuck. If he had less self restraint, that look alone would be what made him tell you everything. And he meant everything. Everything about losing Sarah, about the shit he did with Tommy, about Tess and everything they got up to, about losing Ellie, about how he’s scared to lose you too, about how he lo-

“I need you Joel, please.”

Joel kissed you again, running his bandaged hands down the length of your body. He cupped one of your breasts and kissed his way down to suck a nipple into his mouth. You moaned, hands moving to cradle the back of his head as he switched between breasts. He kept at it until you were bucking against him. Taking the hint, he moved down your body until he reached your soaked cunt. It was still puffy and leaking from the brutal ride you had taken earlier, slick and cum mixed together in a way that had him growing impossibly harder. He wrapped a hand around himself absentmindedly, tugging at his cock to ease some of the tension before he grabbed you.

Repositioning you so that your ass was hanging off of the end of the couch, Joel kneeled in front of you. He ignored the slight ache that had already begun in his joints, throwing your legs over his shoulders before he dove in. Joel devoured every inch of you, the taste of the two of you mixed together driving him crazy. He reached up and grabbed your hands in his, letting you squeeze them as he feasted. Sucking and batting at your clit, Joel had you whining and clenching around nothing embarrassingly quick. He groaned as the clenching of your walls pushed slick and cum onto his tongue, bathing his face in juices.

“Joel, oh my- oooh shit,” you cried, throwing your head back as he moved down and shoved his thick tongue inside of you.

As Joel’s tongue lapped up everything inside of you, your hips began to grind against his face. He moaned as you rubbed your clit against his nose, cock throbbing at the thought of you using every inch of him that you could reach for your own pleasure. He needed to make you cum again. Rubbing his tongue along the front wall of your pussy and smushing his nose into your clit, he felt your thighs clamp down around his head. Joel was completely smothered by you but he didn’t care. With his face buried between your thighs and his hands holding yours, he felt like he could die a very happy man like this. A shudder passed through your body and you came with a groan, Joel letting you ride it out on his face.

He planned on continuing his meal, prefering to ignore his own rut as he feasted on your delicious core but the way you cried out to him had Joel clambering back over you. He looked down at you again with a shining face and you giggled, wiping off his mouth as you blushed.

“I was saving that for later,” Joel drawled.

You laughed, “Just come and get it from the source you dork.”

He snorted, moving forward to kiss you as you locked your ankles behind him. Holding himself at your entrance for a moment, he paused, waiting for your nod before he slowly pushed forward. Moans rushed out of the two of you, bodies finally coming together again. He felt like it had been years since he had been inside of you last, even though it had barely been five minutes.

“Fuuck. No place I’d rather be than inside of ya, baby,” Joel admitted.

“Don’t ever leave me Joel.”

That got his attention.

His eyes locked on yours and he grabbed your face. Kissing you again, Joel poured the three words that he couldn’t bring himself to say into you. Leave you? He tried not to laugh. How the fuck did you think he could ever do that? He’d rather die. Joel pulled away, watching your eyelids flutter before he attempted to stumble through his own feelings for you. His hips slowed their pace, halting altogether as he gathered his thoughts before speaking.

“Listen to me baby, I ain’t ever going to leave you. I need you. Before you, I was nothing. I came to this place hoping that I could hide away from the world until I died. This place was a fucking tomb for me. But now? Fuck, I couldn’t imagine my life without you. If you ever wanted to leave me I - fuck - it would kill me, but I’d let ya go if it would make you happy. But I will never leave you, d’ya understand?”

You blinked up at him with shining eyes and blushed, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth as you nodded. Satisfied, Joel kissed you again and restarted his slow thrusts. He kept his mouth on yours, letting his hands roam all over your body as he kept up his pace. Your soft, muffled moans had him breathless and he moved his hand down to play with your throbbing nub. A whine came from you and he smiled, moving to kiss your neck as he worked you steadily towards your release.

Out of all of the times the two of you had fucked so far, Joel decided that this was his favourite. Soft and sweet, with moans coming from both of you and bodies pressed together, he felt whole. You tugged at his hair with one hand, the other coming to rest over his heart as he continued his calculated thrusts. He felt you begin to tighten around him and he groaned, shifting so the tip of his cock steadily brushed over that sweet spot along your front wall.

“Please Joel,” you whimpered, pulling his curls again.

“What baby? What do you need? Tell me and I’ll give it to ya,” he asked urgently.

At this point, Joel was sure that he would give you anything you asked for.

“Kiss me.”

And so he did. Mouths melded and bodies writhing languidly against each other, he felt you begin to contract around him. He pressed down harder on your clit, knowing that he could get you there with just a little more pressure. His knot caught on your hole and he groaned as you locked your legs around him tighter, caging him in as he barreled towards the finish line. With one final swipe on the pulsing bud he slammed you down on his knot, making you scream as you came hard around him. Joel groaned as your walls milked him, collapsing on top of you as he came. His mind spun from the physical and emotional toll of the day as he sunk deeper into your embrace.

The two of you held each other as you both floated, pleasure boiling over again and again and again. Joel felt like he was in limbo, his ears ringing from the absolute bliss that surrounded him. He moaned as you rubbed the tense muscles in his back, hands smoothing over the scarred surface without mentioning the jagged lines. He moved his face into the crook of your neck, humming as he kissed and nipped at the sensitive skin. For what felt like the millionth time, Joel had to push down the desire to bite down, the thought of it making him flood your insides again as he whined against your neck. He wondered if you’d ever leave your mark on him. The thought of you sinking your teeth into his neck, of you claiming him as your alpha, made him grunt. Before he had even come down from his last orgasm, his knot was pulsing again, cock exploding one last time at the thought of him being truly yours.

Never, not once in his life, had he been so intimate with someone. Not with Sarah’s mom, not with Tess, not with any other of the countless names and faces that he had long since forgotten. Only you. Joel tried to think of any reason to stop himself but he couldn’t come up with a single one. Fuck it, he had to say it now or else he never would.

“I love you Joel Miller.”

Joel shot up onto his forearms as shock ran through him. He was slightly peeved that you had taken his line from him but mostly, all he felt was disbelief.

“Me?” he sputtered, thinking that the only logical explanation was that he must have misheard you.

“No, not you. I love the other Joel Miller,” you deadpanned, “Of course I mean you, dumbass!”

He laughed hard, uncaring of how it made him throb inside of you again as relief washed over him. You loved him. You actually loved him. Worries about all the things he had left unsaid started to bubble up to the surface but he pushed them from his mind, allowing himself to have this moment. Joel knew it was selfish, dreading the day that he would have to finally come clean about his past but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Joel felt drunk off of you, his chest aching with the overwhelming emotions that he thought had died with Ellie. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. Joel chose the first option, expecting you to follow him in his joy, but when he looked back down he noticed how your brow was pinched. He cocked his head as he saw your teeth worrying your bottom lip.

“What’s wrong darling?” he asked, silently praying that you wouldn’t take it back.

“Um, nothing. I just thought maybe - um, given everything you said I thought you might feel… Nevermind! Everything is great, super awesome,” you murmured, stumbling over your words as you shrunk in on yourself.

A beat passed before he swore and kicked himself for being a fucking idiot.

“I love you too,” Joel rushed out, his words jumbled with the urgency of the statement.

A goofy grin stretched over your face, “You do?”

“Yeah darling, I really do,” he chuckled, leaning down to kiss you once more.

The kiss was messy, with the both of you smiling too hard for it to deepen and laughing against each other's mouths. It was perfect. After a few moments, Joel pulled away and you groaned.

“You can’t be all romantic like that and then not makeout with me, it’s rude,” you complained.

Joel laughed again, shaking his head as he looked at you with warm eyes. His own laughter felt unfamiliar as it poured from his lips. He tried to remember if he had laughed in all the years that he had been in isolation. Did Tommy ever pull a laugh from him during their scheduled meets? No, the most he ever got from Joel was a forced smile as his brother tried to shove pictures of his nephew in his face. It was annoying, but he totally understood. Joel remembered being the dad that kept a ridiculous amount of pictures of baby Sarah in his wallet, jumping at the chance to show off his curly haired princess the moment anyone on a jobsite mentioned their family. He was proud that Tommy was that type of dad now too, but it didn’t exactly make laughter pour out from his mouth.

Suddenly, Joel realized just how joyless his life had been these past four years and it made his love for you grow that much more as he looked down at you.

“Maybe I wasn’t done romancing ya,” he drawled, his voice thick and syrupy.

“Is that so cowboy?,” you asked, smiling as you pushed his hair behind his ears.

He hummed, grinding his hips into you as you whimpered. Joel hissed, his softening cock starting to stiffen again as he pulled his half deflated knot out of you. The sudden loss made you claw at his shoulders, soft whines falling from your lips as he started to drag along your sensitive walls once more.

“Joel, ah - s’good. You feel so good. Fuuck, feels so big,” you moaned as he wrapped your legs around him again.

As Joel thrusted into you once more, he realized that your body was now bathed in moonlight. The sun must have gone down amidst your confessions and love making, he hadn’t even noticed it. Looking down, Joel’s eyes swallowed you whole. With your breasts jiggling as he pushed into you, bottom lip reddened from your teeth digging into it, slick matting the curls that covered your mound, he hiked your legs up over his hips. The action pulled a loud groan from you as he burrowed deeper inside. He admired the soft pudge of your stomach, preening at the knowledge that it was due to his cooking. Joel had provided for you, he had kept you fed and healthy. The thought almost drove him wild before he remembered.

A shriek came from you as Joel lifted you from the couch, his cock still nestled inside of you as he began to walk towards the kitchen. You squawked, holding on for dear life as he carried you. He tried to ignore the way you clenched around him at the action, his mind set on the task ahead of him.

“What - ungh,” you were cut off with a whine as he shifted your weight onto one arm, his cock bumping up against your cervix.

“M’gonna feed ya first, then I’m gonna fuck ya,” Joel said blankly, not understanding your confusion as he opened the pantry.

You whined and moaned as he ripped a package of oatmeal open with his teeth. He ignored your pleas as he reached forward to click the kettle on again. Joel carried you around as he readied your food, your pussy clenching as the wiry hairs at the base of his cock tickled your sore clit. It took everything in him not to start working you up and down on his dick, his teeth gritted as he slammed a bowl down onto the counter. He hissed and glared at you as you purposely clenched around him. It was tempting to drop everything and fuck you, but Joel refrained, his need to provide stronger than ever with his rut still burning through his veins.

“Daddy,” you mewled into his ear, the soft words making his fingers press into your hips harder.

“Eat first,” Joel grouched, his hand softly slapping the fat of your ass.

A garbled cry came from you, slick trickling down his thighs from the experimental smack. Joel smirked, completely ignoring the way you fussed against him as he dumped the dried oats and boiling water into the bowl. He turned and walked towards the table, hushing you as he placed you on the edge of it. He smiled wickedly as he cupped your cheeks, cooing at your teary eyes and stuttery pleas. You hiccuped, the desperate cries for his cock making something dark stir inside of him. He had planned on making you cockwarm him as you waited for the oats, but he abandoned the idea the moment he saw how fucked out you were. Fuck it, he thought, oats take like five minutes to rise anyways, right?

“Aw hush baby, s’alright. She needs me so bad doesn’t she? Pretty pussy can’t go very long without my cock huh?,” Joel cooed, the sickly sweet tone of his voice making you impossibly wetter.

You nodded, trying to buck your hips as he held you down on his cock. Joel tsked and pulled out of you fast, slick and cum dripping down your thighs as he flipped you around. You assumed the position, deepening the arch in your back and rising up on your tiptoes to present yourself to him invitingly. Joel growled at the sight, his cock dripping precum as he smacked your ass again. He grabbed your hair in his fist, making you tremble as he tapped the head of his cock against your clit.

“P-please alpha, I need you to - shit Joel - I need your cock in me,” you blubbered, fingers scrambling for purchase on the varnished wood.

Joel yanked your head up from its place against the cool surface, which earned him a wanton moan from you. He felt his more dominant side peeking through the cracks of his subconscious, making his palms itch as his imagination ran rampant. He swore, thinking about the box of tricks he had left under his bed in Austin. A grunt left him as he thought about how you might look gagged and collared.

Shit, he needed to get it together. Softening his demeanor for a moment, Joel loosened his grip and bent down to kiss the side of your sweaty face.

“This okay darling?,” he whispered in your ear.

You smiled, turning your head to capture his lips in a filthy kiss that had him shallowly thrusting into the tight fist of your wet cunt. Mouths panting as you pulled away, you wiggled your hips against him again.

“M’sure daddy, feels so good. Be rough with me, I trust you,” you pleaded.

Joel grinned, gripping your hair tight again and repositioning himself. He prodded at your entrance, moaning at how swollen and puffy your cunt looked. The hand not in your hair wrenched your cheeks apart and he watched as juices dripped down onto the floorboards below, your holes winking at him as his smile grew. You whined and he was quick to slap your pussy. The sting made a guttural cry tear out of your chest as your knees began to shake. Joel laughed as your hips rocked forward and then back, body seemingly confused as to whether it should be pulling away or pushing back against him.

“Hm, ‘think she liked that,” Joel observed, reaching out to gather your juices on his fingers before sucking them into his mouth.

“I can’t - oh fu - Stop teasing or else I swear m’gonna - AH!,” a squeal echoed throughout the room as his hand came down on your slickened lips again.

“Or else what baby, hm?,” the taunting in Joel’s voice made you clench as he pulled your hair again, “What are you gonna do? Rub that pussy against my things again? Gonna make daddy watch as you soak all the clothes you stole from him?”

You shook your head wildly, embarrassment making your cheeks burn but your pussy drool for him. It was a gamble, Joel degrading you like this, but boy was it paying off. With both hands, Joel slapped the sides of ass, making you choke on your spit and keen. He leaned forward and kissed your spine, taking mercy on you as you convulsed against the table.

Joel chuckled, smoothing his bandaged hands over your reddened cheeks before he said, “Ask me nicely baby. Be a good girl and I’ll give you what you need. C’mon, know you can do it.”

He gave you a second, letting you gulp down breaths as he ghosted his palms along the softer parts of your body. Your thighs, your stomach, your bruised hips, he gave attention to it all. For a moment, Joel wondered if he needed to elaborate on what he meant. After all, the entirety of your sex life had taken place in the span of less than 48 hours. But before he could rephrase his request, a small voice halted the words in his throat.

“Please daddy, don’t tease me. I need you, I need - ungh - It hurts alpha, need you to make it better. I’ll be a good girl for you, I’ll let you play with my - mmmph - with my pussy whenever you want. Just please baby, please fuck me.”

The plea made all the sense fly out of his head in an instant. With no warning whatsoever, Joel slammed his entire length into you. Not even giving you a second to breathe, he tugged your head up off the table by your hair and gripped your hip hard as he began to pound into you. The sounds coming from the two of you were ridiculously vulgar, a wet squelching sound came from your pussy as he spanked you again, his heavy sack slapping against your tender clit, moans and whimpers coming from the both of you. All of it had Joel pushing into you harder and faster.

The brutality of his thrusts had the table scooting across the floorboards and he pulled your body up against his. You leaned your head back against his shoulder and he gave you a wet kiss on your cheek, panting as he grabbed one of your breasts and shoved his thumb into your mouth. Pressing down on your tongue, Joel had the satisfaction of feeling you squeeze him as you gagged. He huffed out a laugh, surprised as he felt you milk his cock so soon.

“That soon babygirl? My cock making you feel that good huh?” he taunted.

A muffled cry answered him as you sucked on his thumb. Joel hissed, his cock twitching inside of you as he felt you twirl your tongue around the tip of it. It made him think about how good you would look choking on his length as he fucked your face, but he pushed that thought to the side. For now, he needed to make you cum again. You whined as he pulled his thumb from your lips, mumbling nonsense at him as he moved the wet digit down your body. Goosebumps rose on your skin from the trail of spit his thumb left behind. Joel shushed you again, his pace doubling as his thumb started to rub tight circles over your clit.

The joint in Joel’s jaw popped, his teeth gritting together hard as he felt his cock crying for release. He was so close, but he needed you to cum again before he lost it. Pressing his thumb down harder and rolling one of your nipples in his other hand, your whines turned to wheezes as his pace grew more erratic.

“Nngh - that’s it sweetheart - FUCK - Oh my god baby, shit. Love how this pussy feels around me, love you so fucking much. G-gonna cum in you, fuck - gonna make you mine. Wanna fucking claim you - ah! My girl. My. Dirty. Fucking. Girl,” Joel babbled, last four words enunciated with mind breaking thrusts.

You forced out a choked whimper that vaguely sounded like his name at his words. Joel marveled at how good you took him, slick steadily dripping down his thighs as he wrecked you. He grunted as your pussy began to lock up again, his balls tightening and knot catching at your entrance as he dragged you towards your peak.

“Joel - oh fuck! I love - ugh- love you too. Pleaaase, oooh fuuck,” you wheezed.

“Go on baby, fucking soak me. Oh shit - mmh - Show me how much you love my cock stretching you out. Cum for me sweet girl,” Joel ordered, spreading your lips between his soaked fingers with a V and bringing his palm down against your swollen clit hard.

The slap to your pussy had you howling, slick gushing around him as he thrusted up once, twice, before he shoved his knot where it belonged. Joel held you against him, his vision spotting as you both crashed over the edge. You cried out as he grinded into you, overstimulation making tears prick at his eyes as he filled you over and over but he couldn’t stop. The pleasure was so intense that Joel lowered your upper body onto the table below, scared that he was going to fall to his knees as his mind went blank. He folded forward, blanketing himself over your shaking form and kissing at your neck. You tilted your neck, urging him to bite down as he continued his soft kisses.

“Please Joel. C-Claim me. Wanna be yours,” you whined, pushing all of his buttons and making him release once more.

Joel’s eyebrows were pinched together, a rumbling noise coming from his chest as he nipped at your gland. His mind raced with the request and he fought against his own instincts as he continued to ghost his teeth over the spot, not quite putting enough pressure into his nips to seal the deal. You keened and begged, earning another, more painful orgasm from him.

“Darling, I can’t. Not right n-,” he started, sentence cut short from a loud sob.

“But I-I -You don’t w-want me? M’no good? I want to be good, please! I can be so good for you. P-please alpha,” you sobbed.

These cries were different and they sobered him quickly. With your heat and the rough pounding he had just given you, Joel knew you needed some extra care. Clumsily, with his legs still shaking, he lifted you. Groaning with the exertion, Joel suddenly felt very much his age as he stumbled forward. Almost tripping over a discarded boot, he managed to make it back to the couch and flopped down with you on top of him.

He grimaced as you unknowingly crushed his balls beneath your weight, his knot burning with a pitiful release that had him panting against your hair. You mewled and weakly gripped his cock, still sobbing as you weakly came around him again. Joel swore, moving carefully as he got the both of you on your sides. Your body shook as you cried and he wrapped his arms around you, tangling his legs with yours as he hugged you tight.

“Shhh sweet girl. That’s enough now. Course I want you, I’ll never want anyone but you ever again. Love you baby, ok? You did so good for me, so lucky to have you,” Joel praised, his words loving and soft.

You sniffed and calmed slightly, still trembling against him. Unsure of what else to do, Joel leaned forward and kissed your neck again but it backfired immediately. An even more heartbreaking wail came from you and Joel began to panic as your sweet scent soured.

“Y-you won’t claim me and I w-want you to be my,” a sob wracked your body before you could finish and he whined, the despair you felt seeping into him.

Joel leaned forward and kissed at your cheeks, trying to pull you from your misery as he continued to whisper calming words into the dark room.

“Darling, there is nothing I would rather do right now than bite down on that pretty neck of yours. Fuck, been thinking about it all day. Imagined how it’d feel for you to claim me, where you’d put your mark. I swear baby, there’s nothing I want more,” he confessed, head spinning as he let himself imagine it.

“Then why -”

“Because now ain’t the time. Not gonna let you make such a big decision when you’re in a heat, I’d never forgive myself. Baby, I love you. M’yours, I’ll always be yours. If you still want this when we’re right again, then we can talk about it. But not now honey, it wouldn’t be right,” he explained.

Your crying slowly stopped as Joel continued to whisper sweet nothings into your ear, body melting into his as the words sunk in.

“So,” you sniffed, “You would um… If my heat wasn’t a thing right now, you’d want to? You’d really want me like that? Forever?”

Joel leaned forward, nosing at your hair and breathing you in before he sighed, “I’ve never thought about claiming anyone, not until you. If that’s what you want after this, I’ll be there with bells and whistles on. Nothing I wouldn’t do to make you happy darling.”

“You’d do anything to make me happy?,” you asked dreamily.

He propped himself on his side, locking eyes with you as he pushed sweaty strands from your flushed face, “F’course honey, anything. What do you need? Tell me.”

You yawned, soft lips forming an O as you arched and stretched against him. Rubbing at your eyes, you hummed before looking back up at him. Joel smiled at your gaze, warmth spreading out from his chest and making his limbs numb.

“I wanna nap with you and then I want you to make me something other than oatmeal please. Fucking hate oatmeal,” you grumbled, shoving him back down and pulling his arms around you again.

Joel chuckled at that, snuggling against you as you matched his laugh.

“Think that can be arranged sweetheart.”

With that you hummed, pulling one of his bandaged hands up to your lips and kissing it before closing your eyes. Despite the sweetness of the moment, Joel tried to stay awake. He was suddenly very aware of the open space he was in, but it was difficult as the last few rounds had exhausted him. In his younger years, he probably would be up and going again already, but now his knees ached and sleep lurked in the corners of his mind. He fought against it with every fiber of his being, needing to stay alert for your sake.

Despite his attempts at fighting off sleep, Joel had come to realize that you could read him like a book. It was unnerving at times, as he was not used to being such an open book to anyone, but you picked up on his moods easily. Before Joel could spiral and trudge back out into the snow, he felt a hand reach back to scratch at his scalp. He groaned as his body grew heavier.

“Stop thinking so hard Joel. Go to sleep.”

Joel tried to protest but it died in his throat, the hand in hair making his eyes droop no matter how hard he fought. He managed to murmur a soft love you before sleep took him, your quiet reply making him smile as he drifted off.

Paul could wait until tomorrow. For now, Joel just needed you close to him.

“Please, I don’t know anything about where she went! I already told you - agh!”

“See, I want to believe you, omega. But it’s hard when I remember how close the two of you were. She even spoke out when you tried to run away from my brother.”

Jake’s body shook, the cold air making the blood dripping from his broken nose turn freeze on his chest. He whimpered as Paul got closer, trying to shoot a pleading look at Cooper but it was no use. His mate was always complicit with whatever his brother wanted. He looked back at Jake with a mask of indifference, but he could see the twinkle of regret buried deep behind the cold pools of green. Cooper would apologize to him later as he cleaned the blood from his face, pitiful tears falling down the alpha’s face as he worked. Not that it mattered, Paul was always in control.

Jake was brought back to reality as Paul gripped his hair, slamming him against the car. An oomph came from the omega as it knocked the air out of him.

“You said that the two of you got separated when the infected ambushed the group. You saw that haggard old bitch and her mate get torn apart, then what? Where the fuck did she go?” Paul hissed as he shook Jake in his grasp.

A yelp fell from Jake’s mouth as he was dropped on the frozen ground, his tailbone smarting as it smacked against the concrete. His whole body felt raw from running for weeks, dodging infected and raiders as he tried to find a safe place to lay his head at night. He was almost happy when he found Cooper. Sure, he wasn’t his first choice in mate but Cooper had never raised a hand against him. Jake had taken the first few steps towards his mate, tripping over the rotting clothes that littered the floor of the shop he had been holed up in. Cooper’s eyes had widened at him, motioning at him to stop and mouthing the word run. Jake was flabbergasted until Paul had come around the corner, then he understood. That was two weeks ago and Jake wished everyday that he had listened to Cooper, his absolute pushover of a mate.

Everyday he was poked and prodded at by Paul, who was obsessed with the idea of getting you back. You slipping from his grasp had made him increasingly unpleasant. Just over a week ago, Jake had watched as Paul had threatened one of his men that questioned his search with a gun to his face. Cooper had sucked his teeth at that, shaking his head as he watched the greasy man stumble off in the direction Jake had seen you run towards.

He couldn’t understand it. It’s not like you could’ve survived being out in the woods for so long, especially now with the snowstorm that had just swept through the trees. They probably wouldn’t even be able to find a body at this point. The thought made his vision grow blurry, his chest aching at the thought of his best friend's corpse buried beneath a blanket of snow, but he shook it off. Better you were dead than here with him.

Paul sighed, walking back towards where Cooper stood and clapping him on the back. His mate winced slightly from the force of it but righted himself before Paul could notice.

“You’re lucky you’re already mated Jakey-Jake or maybe I’d have to teach ya some manners. Clearly Coop here ain’t training ya right,” Paul sneered as he shook his little brother’s shoulder.

Cooper blinked at that and Jake willed him to respond, to finally put an end to his brother’s behavior. But he just swallowed and looked down at his feet, kicking the snow with the heel of his boot. A wave of sadness washed over the omega as he watched Cooper’s hands turn to fists at his sides, gulping hard under Paul’s scrutiny. Seemingly satisfied with taunting his brother, Paul turned to Jake as he began to weep. His eyes narrowed once more as he walked back towards his trembling figure.

“Full story from the top. Leave anything out and I’ll give you something to cry about.”