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flockrest · 7 months

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this one's to the lovely who dropped an entire essay back @ me in the inbox! i've decided to format the post such that i can answer some portions directly so none of us get confused, hope you don't mind! anything indented is what you sent in, the rest is part of my response :) it's another doozy but we love those, don't we? asflkdj here we go!

Hi, hope you're doing well! I'd been the anon giving you asks more on Revali's personality and his behavior around the Flock and the Flock's reaction (mostly Tulin's) towards him. Also, the 1.6k did not overwhelm me- if anything made me very happy and overall more curious ahahaha. If anything- thank you so much for accepting and taking the time to answer these asks. Can relate to the unhinged feelings over the lonely rito- I could be hours and hours thinking. That gif of the guy with a board behind full of clues and trying to connect the dots- that's currently me.

hello, welcome back! thank you, hope you're having a wonderful time too!! ♡ also gotta thank you again for sending these in, i genuinely get so excited to see things like this in my inbox!! your passion is so great to see! i'm glad you enjoy my answers, and that they make you all the more curious and open to sharing with me ♡ what a huge mood though afklsjdg this stupid bird just has So Much to him

I've re-read your post various times and even tried organizing my thoughts in paper. And there is so much I want to ask... What caught a lot my attention- was how you spoke a bit of Rito village during & after the Calamity; ofc we don't really get a clear picture of the before even with AoC's light but we do get the clearest view of the aftermath of it (ofc 100 years skipped). I do feel (Pre-Calamity) Rito Village had a larger flock(?) compared to the village we get exposed during BoTW/ToTK events. In a way feels the loss of their Champion & Calamity's wrath- made them all realize the importance of that sense of unity.

yes, exactly! you get it! it's a natural outcome from suffering any huge loss...and while it comes from a place of tragedy, i just. really appreciate how homely and cosy rito village feels in both botw and totk because of it — you get that sense of nobody is genuinely uncared for, even link! and this isn't to say that the other peoples of hyrule don't care for their own, it just! hits different with the rito. like you get the impression that everybody interacts with each other everyday! you literally can't go from the top of the village to the bottom without seeing almost every single resident; they're all practically neighbours! they're all, on some level, friends!

this significance on sticking together as a community is especially evident in totk. seriously, it makes me so emo seeing the kids step up to fill in spaces the adults did not mean to leave behind nor expect them to fill :') and their efforts don't go unrecognised, as they shouldn't be, but oh my god. on my hands and knees over how cherished the kids are in this damn flock!! nekk ( MY BELOVED ) puts it best: "they're the saviours of this village."

and like! they're going through extremely hard times with supply scarcities but still find the capacity to be so generous?? there are more things than i expected lying about that you can just grab — that they'll consciously let you grab! i'm going to need these folks to stop having such a huge collective heart fr it's making me feel A Lot 😭

( and in reviewing cutscenes from both botw and aoc in this context, i think we can safely say that their residential population was indeed bigger pre-calamity. there's more background npcs just chilling about in the memory "revali's flap" compared to most post-calamity cutscenes, and aoc literally shows that there are enough rito present for brigades! the reduced numbers we see post-calamity could simply be attributed to more rito travelling beyond their home and even hyrule, but then the calamity would probably be a big reason for that too )

Brings me back to ToTK, where I noticed most adults in a way spoke highly & relied (at least to me) a bit on Tulin's ability to use wind magic- after all it's been a long time since they ever witness it. But also appreciated how Harth's dialogues which he praises the boy's ability but is concerned of how Tulin is taking certain approach (how at first he goes alone) and his overworking state. Even Teba & Saki recognize their son's abilities but as parents are concerned- I am pretty sure while they acknowledge him as a rito warrior, they also want him to continue living his childhood. (Link does too btw- sorry I don't mention them often)

OH, FOR SURE. you are right on many points here; for sure, the adults have come to see tulin as a young rito warrior in his own right and do trust him to contribute in a way they wouldn't ask of the other fledglings; harth makes it clear that even before link had come, sending tulin to investigate the cloud surrounding the stormwind ark was an option they weren't as opposed to as our introduction to the kid made it seem ( and it's not just his wind-gust technique they're so in awe of either! god. he really has worked so hard!! and everybody can see it! 😭😭 ).

with the worry, i believe the nature of it really depends! it's all completely warranted given how tulin's initial views on how "he doesn't need anyone else backing him up" has apparently "gotten him into trouble more times than [harth] can count" ( which is definitely concerning but also. it can't be anything worse than getting his bow stolen and being left with just his talons for defence in the face of a monster, right? because tulin. tulin. that could not have been your turnaround if you've been doing shit like flying straight into frost taluses solo or something sflkjd ) anyway, but it seems for teba and harth, it's more in a we're worried you're actively sabotaging yourself with your recklessness way.

saki had hang-ups about tulin losing his innocence too early in botw ( "he is such a sweet boy," she says, and it never fails to make me collapse on my knees because he so is and the best thing is he never loses that aspect of himself!! ), but does appear to have come to accept that her son's growing up in totk? i unfortunately don't have a screenshot of the line that indicates this, nor do i remember it verbatim, but the vibes i'm getting from her are i'm worried because you have not learnt enough to be as grown up as you insist you are ( which leaves you ill-prepared for the situations you're trying to fly into ).

ofc it all connects to a primary worry for his safety and his tendency to do way more than anyone would ask of him, but i do think they understand, on some level, that trying to completely stop him is ultimately futile and will only make things worse — in that he'll start deliberately pushing them away when he's only leaving them behind for now.

he's a tween! still a child but only ever getting older, and with how important it is to their culture, i imagine being a warrior isn't as mutually exclusive from childhood as it'd be for us. like tulin's an outlier because he's a prodigy who excessively worked himself to that title, but i don't doubt that compulsory education for growing fledglings would involve, among other things, learning how to at least hunt and defend yourself in the wild! so i don't think it's that they're scared of him growing up too fast at that point in totk — because while he's definitely matured more than his peers in some parts, he is very much still experiencing being a child no matter what he argues in many others aflskdj — just more like...they want him to grow up well. properly, for a lack of better words. WHICH INCLUDES NOT OVERWORKING. oh my god with the overworking

( also oh boy. very glad you brought up link! no need to be sorry! i can't say much on him because i'm not a link writer, though i do ramble about his dynamic with tulin, including how he potentially sees himself reflected in him, over here if you're interested! )

But this also sends me off to another "path" makes me think- What if Revali didn't have this type of support? And it made me think how similar were Revali's and Tulin's in some aspects but how different the outcome were for both- it's a bit tragic at least for me.

YES. YES!! THIS IS IT, YOU HIT IT ON THE HEAD!! i've said it before and i'll say it again: tulin and revali are essentially one support system removed from being each other! they share notable parallels!

just. the fact that harth notices the injuries on tulin's wings from pushing himself to the limits. we don't get follow-up dialogue on that, but there's such a high chance that Words are exchanged between them when link leaves them be because we've seen their relationship. we know how harth cares for tulin, we know tulin is loved for more than what he can do and looked out for. now juxtapose that with revali, thrown out of his own tornado, alone in that moment where he picks himself up as well — but way less likely to have anyone say anything about his wing injuries or to even let someone think he has them. [spontaneously combusts]

i would say more on this and why the sages of totk in general act well as foils to the champions of botw, particularly regarding themes, but that really does feel like a post for another time sdflkjd and it is tragic! it is very tragic! revali was doomed by the narrative in more ways than one :')

I remember the diary where he speaks how the town began praising him for his achievements- that type of validation can be good but to an extreme and left unchecked, it can spiral someone into depending of it. And yet at the end of that diary... he still spoke how he need to continue perfecting himself. Something that AoC made me think in more depth was how almost everyone was "chosen" by destiny (or have a unique ability) and carried a title. But when I look at Revali he seems somehow an abstract to them. Even though in his diary such things were not something he cared for- he mostly valued folks by their responses and actions. (Note: Found cute how he appreciated the scarf and gave one to his bow... It really meant a lot to him// Also I do think Revali appreciated all the Champions including Zelda & Link).

YEAH. YEP. and the way he at first speaks about it, how he contradicts himself in tone despite trying to sound so self-assured — "as one would expect" VS the "i...could get used to this." that follows in the same entry — that's the attention and glory he's always wanted! now he's gonna affix it to the meaning of loving and being loved. which he's also going to attach to his abilities and what he can offer, which is deeply connected to his perceived self-worth. and he's going to make sure he'll never run out of ( tbf real and well-earned ) confidence in that self-worth by constantly pushing himself to greater, more impossible heights. i'm going to put this bird in a washing machine.

he's literally just a guy!! it's one of my favourite things about him, he's Just Some Guy in the group of people who were born into wealth; powers; blessings; respect. they all had their trials, but he earned his place among them from the comparative nothing he started out with and he's justifiably proud of this!

i do think he's also insecure about it at first, tbh ( which he reacts to by laying on the conceit even thicker ), even though his belief in hard work being a supreme indicator of one's "true strength" isn't actually shaken. he is genuinely like i more than deserve to be here but he's also like. and there's nothing you can do about it. don't you forget it. don't you forget it. don't you ever forget it. i wouldn't say it mellows out, but the more he gets to see the champions in action ( thus confirming that they are on his level — that he's fit to make a constellation amongst these that've already been mapped ), the less inclined he feels to explicitly remind them.

and oh my god. the things i could say about what the blue scarf likely means to him. it was handcrafted by zelda, hyrule's princess, for him specifically. it's part of a matching set with other big powers of hyrule. titles and uniform do nothing for him, he claims, but isn't this like being told you are one of us? that you have much to offer? it's "meaningless pomp", he says.

it's also still a gift.

the cloth he ties to his bow is the same shade of blue. i should really make another study post speaking about this more in depth, but i've always interpreted it to be a memento the same way teba and saki's feathers on tulin's quiver are! in tulin's time, this might mean, "these people are always with me." in revali's time, on the brink of a calamity, i imagine it might mean, "( if i fall, you who finds me, ) i belonged with these people."

And yet when Teba & Tulin show up- there is this subtle change on him(?) I wished the game had dwelled a bit more on Teba and Revali. Seeing their interactions was always interesting and in a way, Teba seemed to understand the rito champion. While I felt Teba was that friend or even family member(?) that Revali needed in a way or I could be just over reading, ahaha sorry. But sincerely, I always felt Teba & Tulin were that family or friends- that in a way Revali needed and it makes me think so hard on the "What ifs" and "What could have been"...

what i wouldn't have given for more content and interactions between these three as well!! it's especially fascinating to think about it from teba's side — there is so much recontextualising he has to do and does do about revali, because the one he's grown up idolising and hearing Songs about is uh. well, he's certainly there in the revali he meets, but i doubt he's really prepared for things like how painfully young he is.

he handles it very well honestly asfklsdjg i would not have taken to the realisation that my champion is a warrior hardened only by constant work and the battles he throws himself into, and kind of a fucking brat because he's like the 18yo who thinks being 18 is a decade away from being 17, and died distressingly young back in my timeline with the same grace he gives when he says — of the entire wild experience that is aoc — "this has been enlightening".

you are not over-reading, do not be sorry fr!! i do think revali found an opportunity for companionship in teba that he couldn't find anywhere else when he's built relationships and dynamics he can't change because he has an image to uphold! teba already comes with a dire respect for revali, the knowledge that his story does not end nicely, AND HE'S AN ACTUAL DAD. that sort of thing can bleed into your behaviour and the way you process things without meaning to asflkdjgs

THE BIGGEST MOOD!! wow i'm so glad writers ( it's me, i'm writers ) can create literally anything they want and so can explore these what ifs and what could have beens and give a resolution to a story cut short. this is what my the champions survive au is all about, i hope to have you stay long enough to see these things come out of it ♡

As for the Flight Range & Saki's dialogue; I've always been emo about the F.Range specially when you walk in and hear his theme playing in this music box style... it's like part of his soul is also there but that flame that burnt passionately has subdued and waits to pass to torch to the next generation. In ToTK it made me cry- specially when Kaneli comments (when you pick the bow,arrows) how they been collecting dust... But on the bright side, made me happy that even with the damages- they still hold dearly to the place and is currently being used as training grounds for flight. Which... is what Revali wanted for his people for them to reach the sky and break the limits (or that how I interpreted it).

AUGH EXACTLY, YOU GET IT!! 😭 he never gave it his name but it'll always be his! it's the most melancholic we ever get to hear his theme, full of the wistful yearning that was definitely present but more muted in its botw version! it's lost potential. an unsaid goodbye. revali's gone. but it's also grounds for hope, a tiptoeing hello: his legacy lives on still! i will always go fucking feral over the music in these games!!

YES!! YEAH!! [HOLDING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS] he calls his journal "the diary of revali, the rito legend" BUT HE DOES NOT. GIVE THE FLIGHT RANGE LITERALLY MADE FOR HIM HIS NAME. because it was never going to be something solely for him. he loves his people, he was never going to stymie their prospects! this loser is so good at making me infuriatingly sad AUGH

Re-reading Saki's dialogue with the context you given me- hit me like a ton of bricks. Because it was a new pov. When I first read her dialogue, I took it more of a "Remembering our Champion- one we couldn't help" rather than "commemoration of what he couldn't do". But I also remembered how contrasting are Teba and Saki; Teba being a warrior with pride, reckless at times - who admired greatly Revali's feats and aspired once to surpass him. Meanwhile Saki is more calm and is concerned with the concept of engaging battle- nervous about the training her son was exposed to. So, when re-reading her dialogue I take it more of a wife and mother concerned of losing her companion/husband and son to a similar fate to Revali's.

i swear we are on the same wavelength. yes, exactly!

another thing about revali's landing that makes me so, so deliriously emo — it's a physical permanency given without request: in the best way they can afford to grant it. the rito notably have very little tangible representations of themselves. they don't have statues or effigies like the zora or gorons ( and why would they, when they have Songs and the Windlines and are also probably restricted by their morphology ), and revali does not have any family to be likened to. link remembers him through seeing the landing, which was there, a part of rito village, before it was ever deemed revali's. it wasn't made for him. but they gave it to him! and i'm!! [BLUBBERING]

Revali's love for his people and Rito Village- it breaks me. I can understand that sentiment of loving someone or something from a far (?) - Even when challenging W.Blight and listening to his lines (both english and spanish for me), one can hear that hidden sadness. It's hearing someone who wants to go back home. "But even so, it will always be my home." - the entirety of those lines really hit me so hard the first time I've heard them.

I KNOW. I KNOW. [head in hands] a century has passed and he can't fathom it. "there's no one left who would even know me." he sounds so struck by it, in both the original jpn and english audio, i want to wrap him up in a blanket and toast him like a marshmallow! how much of that is grief? how much of that is longing? how much of that is some strange solace, in knowing he's alone but there's nothing he could've done about it this time?

Also, it makes me glad seeing a Tulin who can see the good in Revali- even if the champion can have a bit of a thorn like exterior. I've read some of the threads! They been wonderful and brought me a lot of joy. It makes me happy to see Tulin taking flight and moving forward. When you mention your student-disciple, are you referring to Kido? I know there were two names but I've lost the post with the cups. I would love to hear about them all!

thank you!! it heartens me to know that you've dipped into some of my ic writing too! i hope you'll continue to enjoy your stay here!! ♡♡

SLFKJKSDLG SO I'VE CHANGED IT IN THE POST NOW, but i meant master-disciple! apologies for the confusion!! kido is an original character of mine who would actually rather fall into totori lake than be revali's student alfjsdkg but that's how it be when you're a kid with a complex, turned-less-than-pleasant background with the concept of revali. if you're interested and up for it, please do give his dossier and study tag a peek! this is by no means a request that you do; it's totally fine if you leave him be!

There so many questions and facts, I would love to talk about... but as I scrolled up- I noticed this is becoming a long one. I am so sorry. I'd been trying to simplify and cut a bit ;-; Plus, I know this blog is a multiverse but focused on Tulin and I don't want to bother. So once again, thank you so much for taking your time in answering these asks. If anything if you ever do the academic-paper length study on lonely birb, I'll run over to read it X'D !!! But I'd been enjoying everything of the meta- the studies on rito's culture and behaviour. Also been curious on your views on Kass taking the role of a bard... Yeah, looking forward to keep reading. Thank you once again.

please, never be sorry for giving me your thoughts, no matter how long they end up being!! i mean it! i enjoyed reading through every line, it means a lot to me that you'd take the time and energy to send something of this scale to me ♡ you did not bother and will not bother, i promise! any of my muses are up for discussion, and so are their people in general! i have an itch to talk about these birds at all times, lurkers like you give me a great scratch ♡

one more time, thank you for your kind words!! i'm so happy to know that my thoughts are received this well!!

KASS MY BELOVED. i'm not sure if you've seen my study on what Songs, Songkeepers, and Scriptweavers are, but if you have, then here's some paraphrased disco ramblings on my Thoughts on him! with how important a role he played in keeping and invoking memories of the champions in botw's dlc, i'm of the belief that he's rito village's primary Songkeeper! ahaha, on this note ( and this is more of a fun roleplaying easter egg than anything ): my botw verse is named Song of the Reclamation — i keep the headcanon that kass, specifically, writes this Song after the game's events tucked away with other misc. details that inform how i run things here :)

this is already long enough, so i think i'll end it here asfljkd but feel free to bounce your thoughts off me anytime! this has been an absolute pleasure, looking forward to seeing you in the inbox again whenever you drop by! thank you!! ♡

#* arrowhead / study.#* vanes / study.#* roosting / ooc.#i hope you're sitting down or in bed because this a probably a good piece to read #when you're like. about to sleep. or when you're stuck in traffic sflkdjg #~2.7k words long excluding the ask! it's a bit of a monster!#BUT GOSH. thank you so much again for indulging me and letting me ramble my HEAD off about my blorbos of all time!! <3 #GENUINELY I APPRECIATE THIS SO MUCH. NEARLY CRIED WHEN I FIRST SAW THE ASK (AFFECTIONATE)#i hope this will be as enjoyable for you to read as it was for me to write! thank you! LOVE MY LURKERS. I LOOOOVEEEE MY LURKERS #someone better give me an absolutely UNHINGED about tu.lin and rev.ali medal at this point slfkjdlkg #long post cw

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elliewiltarwyn · 3 months

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Top 5 Mounts! I love seeing which mounts people are drawn too!

ohhh, that's not something I think about often, and I'm lucky enough to have acquired a hefty number of rare ones, so this is going to be fun and sentimental! and maybe a little humblebraggy im sorry im not trying to be! :D

-------------

Eden

like many players I'm sure, Shadowbringers was when the game really for good hooked me for life, and Ryne is a significant part of that. I loved her character so much that I was overjoyed when I realized the raid series was not only going to expand on her as a character, but give her a girlfriend.

But that's not the only reason; Eden's Promise is also the tier my static formed and we began to take on savage raids, and one of my greatest memories of this game is defeating the final E12S boss alongside them like 0.7 seconds before she enraged. The Oracle of Darkness is still one of my favorite fights in the whole game, and between that, the fact that the whole raid storyline is a handwrapped gift for lesbians who have Ryne as their favorite character, and a personal fondness for FF8 YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I SAID IT SUCK IT GAMEFAQS BOARDS FROM 1998...well, getting to ride Actually Eden in this game kind of rules.

I do wish it played The Extreme though. :V

2. Sunforged

Meanwhile, Abyssos was extremely memorable for, unfortunately, much different reasons. A lot of our group started facing a lot of personal problems IRL, and we had to say goodbye to some very good friends we had made and then bring new ones up to speed on the tier, so it took us an immensely long time to make it all the way to P8S, prog both phases of the fight, and get eight clears for all of us; we were struggling so much that even when the tier unlocked, we weren't able to clear him more than once a week. I still think P8S is too rough around the edges and I like the fight a lot less than the other Pandaemonium finales - not necessarily poorly designed, but extremely demanding to the point it was actually taking a toll on us.

...So basically, to me the Sunforged represents us dragging our broken, battered bodies over the finish line of the raid tier, succeeding despite all the shit both it and real life threw at us. We fought really fuckin' hard for this fucker, and as difficult as it was I'm really, immensely proud of us for managing it.

Also the mount itself is just sick af. Big fire snek!

and it turns into a godsdamned phoenix for flight, come on!!

3. Garlond GL-II

i mean come on this thing was built for biker girl femroes!!

4. Megaloambystoma

I am BEYOND LIVID that the Axolotl mount is locked behind Savage. Savage is for neckbeard no-lifers who play this game 24/7. Give them a crappy Magitek mount or something but cute mounts do NOT belong to raiders!!!

okay but seriously look at this dope. what a good boy. and in addition to being cute AF he ALSO has a sentimental story about my static's experiences with the relevant raid tier: for some strange reason, for the last bits of phase 1 and all of phase 2 of P12S in particular, I was the one who ended up studying the fight, writing down explanations, walking the group through the mechanics, and making callouts. it'd be a little aggrandizing to claim that Pallas Athena is my victory because obviously it's the whole group's... but it is the fight that somehow made me the one confident enough to lead my friends through it.

So in a weird way, this little dope is like, a representation of my self-esteem. I love him.

5. Fat Cat

I'm a cat person. I was morally obligated to buy this. Pay no attention to the mount description that posits that it is either a VOIDSENT using a BLOATED CAT'S CORPSE AS ITS CORPOREAL VESSEL, or a DECEASED PET REANIMATED by one well versed in the NECROMANTIC ARTS. these are lies and slander. look at this :3 face. is this the face of someone who would hide their true insidious voidtinged nature? clearly not. stop worrying about it. you don't need to sleep with a knife under your pillow with this baby around. >:3

this was really fun to reminisce and write about, thank you @disciple-of-frost for the ask!!

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #femroe #wol questions #ask games #ffxiv mounts #ffxiv raiding #there are so many good mounts that deserve honorable mentions but it was shockingly easy to narrow down top 5 at least lol #honorable mentions include: pod 602 because i love nier; battle panther which was my first tank achievement mount;#rolling tankard because it comes with a laser button; lunar kamuy because wayward daughter is AMAZING; fae gwiber bc trans rights dragon;#demi-ozma bc i like orb and cube; amaro because Seto still makes me cry; miw miisv bc it's just so out there and hilarious #there's a lot of good stuff! and i don't want to think about how long i've spent collecting all these rare ones! :')#long post #just in case

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pentition · 1 year

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I'd love to babble about portia, sandrock and especially Pen to you! My brains is a little covid addled though so depth might be a bit lacking. (I've been feeling better slowly but steadily, but this shit is not a normal flu, fuck this everything tastes extremely bitter or like nothing. Sadness.)

As for Pen and the new sandrock update, I felt like that mission with Pen training you genuinely really revealed a lot about his character. I can't really put it into words right now. But I genuinely like him, despite what he did. I don't think he is entirely black and white. And while it's not the same 100%, as a perfectionist and someone who is always thinking about how others perceive me I can relate somewhat.

Oh gosh, that's awful. Don't push yourself if you're unwell! (●´□`)♡ I've somehow dodged Covid all this time (as I punch a hole through the nearest wooden object, lmao) so I'm not even going to pretend I understand how crummy you must feel. I hope it passes asap with no aftermath issues to deal with!!

Also to anyone reading: SPOILERS! I hope putting it like that always draws the eye, haha.

I agree, I can't see him as a black and white character either. What he decides is worth spending his time on says a lot to me, honestly. Like in Simply the Best, I feel like what he says leading up to the mission to be really interesting. It shows Pen is potentially self-aware of himself and what he is as a super soldier.

He has "unconventional tastes" with dates and only "feels alive on the battlefield". It's also the only time we see him freely complimenting the Builder separate from himself, iirc. Also using the term 'love' in a few ways.

To me, it came across like Pen was trying to take it more seriously and that was likely new to him. He broached the subject of what interested him and made it clear enough to the Builder, acknowledged attraction physically and wanting to see if it went beyond that. Almost like he was voicing in his own way a manner of uncertainty and poking around to see if this whole 'true love' thing was real. Real and mutual. All sandwiched between his usual egotistical comments about himself we know and expect (and love).

But that's also interesting to me because in his role, if he's really a Knight, or by just being an experimented upon super soldier - I imagine he could be someone important to Duvos. Not to say Duvos cares about their soldiers, we have no real proof of that. But if he was a successful experiment, as it seems, that may be what warranted this ego in the first place. So maybe the idea of sharing yourself with someone else, or finding them even good enough, probably is something he thinks is reasonable to be picky with.

Also even if there was the chance the Builder was accepting of him if they learned the truth then it's even more imperative they are worth something to Duvos. Pen vouching because he loves them as their super soldier I don't think is enough for them to accept a non-Duvos citizen. At least, that's my impression given how everyone seems to regard both the country and its people so far.

I feel like Pen is always saying more than what it seems. Combat tutorial was funny and great but you could say he was also just trying to assess someone new on the board. You can argue the whole heart knot acceptance and romance mission is a manipulation scheme but that still makes me ask why. Why is that worth his time when there are surely easier people to turn into his fans or have fawn over him? Was he just bored and is actually nasty and cruel? I don't think from his perspective that the Builder is a threat, not until Knives Out hits and they have potentially met Logan after taking a fall. Then there's a slightly awkward 'welcome back' from him that seems torn between acknowledging it as your pal/partner Pen and Duvos's spy Pen.

Gosh I'm rambling but yeah, I don't think he's black and white. I think he is all the things he presents all at once. It's just a matter of how self-aware he is in that moment, or how much he cares. The context of the situation and who is present. But either way, the perception of others means a lot to him given both his true role and the protector role. And I think that carries over to how the Builder perceives him, just in a more personal manner the more they get on.

It makes me want more romance missions with him and all that content just to see more of him in contexts outside of what we consider his norm.

#musings #i'm really not trying to word vomit on these asks but you guys set my brain off lmao #pen

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vexture · 1 year

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Let's go 3, 7, 15, 20, 27 for ask game!

3. What ideas come from when you were little

If I'm taking the question correctly, that would be my affinity for drawing beings that look like a bunch of stuff piled together. I don't remember much of my childhood drawings, but my mama keeps most of them in her filing cabinet. From what I've seen, I've always liked shit like that. I had an oc named Broomy, he was a dog like creature who had a pumpkin for a head, the body of a broom, paws (same color as the broom) and the straw end for the tail, and candle pupils. I loved that guy with my whole heart man, I need to find a picture of him or something to redraw. Other than that, gore. Don't subject your children/siblings to horror movies and adult swim shows guys, seriously

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

Physical/digital stim boards. I don't understand the digital appeal, but that might be because I've never had one that was like "oh damn that looks great" but I have touched a physical stim board, I hated every second because it had sequins on it (I Cannot Touch Those) but the enthusiastic explanation I got made me like it, even if I couldn't touch it. Digital ones look really cool too, I'm just very specific on what I like looking at, but I imagine that it takes forever to find the proper gifs that aren't too fucked up and do all the arrangements and border work, I would love to try one, but I'm genuinely at a loss on what to do ^^;; Tumblr stim girlies (gender neutral) I love y'all to bits

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

I draw largely at home, having chronic pain can extremely limit what I can do during a day. I love taking my traditional shit out to draw at the park, but I don't get ideas too often for it to be worth the bag space I could use for something else. Speaking as someone who has literal drawers full of art supplies, I wish I could go out with it all and be unbothered by The General Public, because I like drawing people out and about, but the distain overwhelms me and so does the arthritis

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

Almost every time an artist friend comes to me while I work, it's "wow you're really good at eyes, that's the least favorite part for me" and I can see why. I learned how to do realism from Vogue and People magazines, the shots were clear, it had closeups of hands/eyes/clothes, and eyes were the first thing I learned how to draw properly, I love them sm, they are always in the margins of papers I'm stuck with, or color practice, or whatever I need the eye to be for. Very reliable part of the body artistically for me :>

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

See number 15 for a short answer.

Long answer: I have a very small window to get a drawing done, if I can't get it within the day, or even 2 hours, I have a very hard time picking it up again due to depression, the chronic pain, and sometimes my headmates don't actually know how to use the computer to draw. I consider the amount of drawing I do something to be proud of most days, between the brain fog/deperson/derealization and aching joints, the amount of work I do can be great all things counted. Sure, others can get out more things with worse than me, or what have you, but my style is detail heavy with the line work and colors, and composition is hard for me.

Tangent here:

I would like to say that even if you get out only one drawing every once in a while due to shit getting in the way, at least it's something and you should be proud of yourself for being able to accomplish that within the parameters you have. The algorithm sucks, on every platform, even here on Tumblr with their abysmal search bar, so there's sometimes a pressure to put out a bunch to get a little recognition, but quality over quantity, y'know? No matter what, try not to stare down the cliff of having a shit ton of numbers attached to your hard work.

The incentives are great, and I completely understand that, but once you look at it as a chore, you'll never do shit for you again like you used to without giving up on the algorithm anyway. I avoid going down any tags unless I absolutely have to, because I get discouraged by the numbers, so I end up just looking at my art, and friend's art only. It's okay to stare at your own shit, I've never seen anyone say that anywhere as of recent, so for those who need it, it's okay to be in love and enamored by your own work enough to stare at it even days after posting it, I highly encourage looking at your own art like you do others, because that's a good source of encouragement, or at least for me, love what you do, give yourself a break from not being at the top of every tag/platform, because that's a double edged sword, and no one likes getting blood on their suits

#sunny's qna tag #goodwineandcheese #ask game

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nukenai · 1 year

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Hey I saw your tags about the BLM and mustangs thing. Could you share more of what you mean by that being propaganda? I'm not asking you to wrote a whole article or anything, just if you have a couple of sources or something I'd like to check it out and make sure I'm not falling for that same nonsense myself when I try to support wild horses

I would actually be really happy to write a whole article LOL. I get really wordy about this subject because it's something so close to me, so I'm SORRY in advance for how long this wound up being.

Unfortunately, I don't have much in the ways of like… hard sources to link or anything with scientific data regarding rescues not being truthful. The Mustang Heritage Foundation is a group that works with the BLM and focuses on placement of horses into homes, so I suggest at the very least checking them out. The BLM also has been making frequent posts about their operations and whatnot on their active facebook pages. Unfortunately every post they make is flooded by insane people calling them murderers and liars, which I'm sure the social media admin just loves.

THIS GOT EXTREMELY LONG SO I'M PUTTING IT UNDER A READ MORE SORRY

The tl;dr is that a LOT of those "high profile" rescues, especially ones that focus on mustangs, are lying to you. When they use extremely over-emotional language like calling the roundups "brutal", talking about wild horses having "families"... they're lying and being emotionally manipulative. They pretend that overpopulation is not a problem, when plenty of people who live by the range will attest to the opposite. Also, it's pretty clear with common sense that overpopulation is going to be an issue with a non-native animal that has basically no natural predators. They preach "letting nature take its course", but that means letting animals starve and die of dehydration. They talk about fossil records, how ancient horses millions of years ago lived in north america... so that makes the modern, domestic horse a "native species". That's just not true.

The big thing they try to talk about is how these horses are "traumatized" by roundups and so many don't adapt to captivity. This is just... not at all true. I really truly believed in all this nonsense, that horses had a concept of "family"... Horses are very social animals that form tight bonds... but they also get over it when separated from their friends and family, because they are animals and can form new bonds. For example. I have 2 horses - an APHA paint and a mustang! My paint mare had a foal when she was around 5. She's 21 now. She does not give a shit that she is no longer with her baby. My mustang was rounded up when she was a yearling. She's now 14. She is not traumatized by helicopters. She had a lot of issues when I got her, but it had to do entirely with being locked in a stall for 5 years with no real care. Not the roundup or her treatment by the BLM. For the record, I have vet paperwork from her for several years - all while she was in holding pens! So she was getting consistent vet care while she was in holding.

Another big thing is the very weird demonization of the BLM! These rescues and "advocacy" groups will seriously say that people who work for the BLM are evil and love abusing animals. That they love hurting horses and chasing them gives them a rush. This is insane movie logic. The BLM is just a government agency, and the people working there are just PEOPLE. Every person I've spoken to who works for the BLM has been kind, patient, and helpful. I found out my mare was sold to me untitled, and once I got ahold of someone, I had everything settled within 24 hours. These people WANT the horses to be helped and they WANT them to be in good homes.

At the barn where I board my horses, another boarder went and got 2 mustangs from the closest corral to us (which is not very close, lol). She told me the people there were all extremely friendly, and excited to see people showing up for adoptions. They cared about the horses and even knew some of their personalities. The horses in those corrals were extremely friendly and used to people from being fed and cared for. Both of the mustangs she brought home required almost no gentling because they knew humans were good.

Once I joined communities for people who have actually adopted and worked with mustangs, I realized how much I had been lied to. Once I saw people doing the REAL work - the TIP trainers putting work into these horses and getting them homes - I was so embarrassed that I let wool be put over my eyes so much.

Mustangs are really cool and they're my favorite "breed" of horse (they're not really technically a breed lol). But some of these rescues use the drama we've all seen in Horse Movies to insinuate that they're somehow something Different, something Very Special, so special that they deserve to run free forever, and it's a shame to "break" them and ride them, or whatever. That's absurd. They're horses just like every other horse. Every horse is an individual. Of course it's true that some mustangs won't adapt to captivity. Hell, some DOMESTIC-born horses don't like being ridden or worked with. But that all comes down to the individual animal, not some kind of magical inner spirit they have.

I also really need to point out the racism. There's a lot of bizarre fetishization of Native American cultures by the largely white base of these horse rescues and "advocacy" groups. I see a LOT of it. And you know what else there is? COMPARISONS TO THE FUCKING HOLOCAUST. Again it's mostly white women in these groups (and I say this as a whole White Woman myself!!), and I am constantly seeing them calling horse roundups "GENOCIDE" and saying "it's just like the holocaust". It's disgusting mania and I don't see that being brought up a lot when people talk about the propaganda from rescues. That was honestly the final breaking point for me leaving every one of my mustang "advocacy" groups and staying solely in the groups for people who actually own or are interested in owning mustangs. I don't think anyone in any of those old groups I was in ever actually adopted a mustang. They just reposted other peoples' photos all day.

And here's just some anecdotal stuff. Skydog Sanctuary is the most heinous in my opinion because of things I know they've done. They (I know other rescues do this too, but I know most about them) bid on the horses on the internet auctions if they have "family" of those horses at their rescues, or if they're "famous" mustangs that were well known in the wild. I'm talking, they'll bid up the price of some 2 year old filly into the tens of thousands, because they have her "FATHER" on the sanctuary and they want to "REUNITE" them. The young horses are the ones who get the most interest, because they're young and tend to adapt better to training, etc. I think this year Skydog talked about how they're finally going after the older or injured horses. In my opinion, that's what they should've been doing in the first place. Get the horses that might not do well in captivity. The ones that need special care and deserve sanctuary placement. To me, it's borderline cruel to buy a 2 year old just to turn her out on 4000 acres or whatever and let her "be wild" forever. That horse would've absolutely wound up in an amazing home, but their ego made them go after her because they wanted to "reunite her with her father"... wtf. I would put money on my own horse not recognizing her own baby if I brought them together. Stallions do not care. The reason this story was an issue is that an experienced trainer was trying to get that filly for a client, because she fit everything the client requested, but she wound up in a battle with the rescue who was sending her nasty emails accusing her of "breaking up a family". It's nuts.

Are there issues with the BLM's management? Of course there are. It's a government agency, and I haven't met a single person who actually thinks they're perfect. But they face CONSTANT opposition in the courts from these "advocacy" groups that waste their time and money with lawsuits and rallying people against them. My view is that even if the horses aren't starving NOW, they WILL if we just let them be. Horses are domesticated animals that humans created through thousands of years of selective breeding. It's like dogs. Just leaving domesticated (but feral) dogs to roam wild in the woods would be considered cruelty! I think some horses deserve to stay wild, absolutely, but there's so goddamn many of them, they're not remotely at risk of going "extinct".

And at the end of it, I think the fact that thousands of mustangs have been adopted into loving homes and have adjusted completely fine, is proof enough that they are not some special wild animal. Horses and people are linked through thousands of years of history. It is not cruel to tame a mustang.

I know this was pretty ranty, I'm sorry! If you have any more specific questions I'll be happy to answer them because I'm sure there's some points I've missed. This is all just off the top of my head...

My biggest warning to people who are interested in animal advocacy and rescues for any kind of animal: Please be extremely wary of any rescues that use really overly emotional language. If their posts are extremely dramatic, like they're writing a drama book, and they talk about "seeing the deep pain in an animal's eyes from the trauma of helicopter roundups and missing their families"... RUN. This is a rescue that is trying to manipulate you and take your money, and they are not being truthful with you.

Unfortunately, if you listen to the rescues, they will only ever say that everything the BLM says is a lie, and the Mustang Heritage Foundation is right up there with them, lying and being evil. I don't want to sit here and say all these rescues are horrible evil liars or monsters. I'm simply saying they're manipulative because they have an end goal, which is getting donations. And people are easily swayed, especially when it comes to animals. Just note how different the language is when you read something about the horses from the BLM or the MHF, vs a place like Skydog Sanctuary.

This issue is unfortunately really divided and really heated, and it can be difficult to find any real information that won't be clouded by your own personal biases, so I can really only encourage you to do your own research and come to your own conclusion.

I guess, as a hard source, I'm speaking as someone who entirely believed in all of that "be forever wild, the mustangs are special animals and the BLM is so evil for hurting them", until I got my own mustang. And even for a while after that, I thought, "wow. she must be so traumatized and deeply wounded". ...but then I had her for a while. And I realized, oh.

She's... a horse.

An amazing horse, for sure. My heart horse, definitely!

But she's a horse. Not a fairy tale, or a dramatized facebook post talking of "family" and "trauma". She is a horse, and a very happy one at that. Despite the fact that she lives inside a fence.

#this post is borderline nonsensical rambling but #i hope i made some kind of point #i'm sure much smarter and more articulate people have made better posts about this than me...#i'm overly wordy and can't keep it brief lmfao

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do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas · 2 years

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Hi <3

I'd love to know more about your versions of Mary Read and Ann Bonny if you don't mind. What are they like?

ZHENYA HIIIIII (or Jenya) <3<3<3

So to be clear, the most I did for research is looking at the Wikipedia's and running off with it from there, which I feel like Jenkins would be proud of me for

I'll put this under read more and see how long the basic outline is

History

Anne ran off to be a pirate with her prev husband James, she fell for Calico Jack and he tried to be like "its cool dude, here I'll give you money in exchange", so that's pretty much the same like in her wiki

But cause of this, she was apart of Ed and Jack's crew under Hornigold

Mary was on a merchant ship when Anne disguised herself to sneak aboard. They flirted hard throughout the night and it wasn't until the pirates got on board Anne's like "oh yeah I was supposed to find their supplies. Go on this dinghy and you can probably escape"

But Mary said "fuck that I'm already seduced by the pirate life" and pulled a gun on the merchant captain. Anne tried to convince Hornigold to let her join crew, he's like "sure I don't care you just shot the captain so that was pretty badass"

Throuple with them and Jack but like, it's clear Jack doesn't fit the vibe, you know?

Both stayed on board when Ed became Captain but left with Jack wanted to go off

Stayed with him until his last mutiny where they just kicked him off themselves and manned the ship they had as a two-person crew

Now let's talk about Anne first - who I nicknamed Bonbon cause I loved the idea of taking real life pirates and naming them things like Izzy

She has about twenty or so braincells, most of them are fucking insane except for one which is dedicated to loving her wife

Like seriously, she worships everything she does and treats her like a goddess, Gomez vibes off the charts

Wears a Royal Navy outfit she stole from a guy

When Frenchie told her about his superstitions including women being curses on ships she 100% believed them

She one time tried to open a bottle to drink and just shattered the top off using a table - she picked off any loose glass pieces and drank it, trying to have it not touch her lips yet still trying to get all the drops

But this sometimes dumbassery and naivity makes up for her being forgiving and loyal and perfectly willing and hoping to kill in the most violent ways she can cause she loves it

Favorite hobbies include fashion and embroidery cause who the fuck cares if she's trying to be Not Like Other Girls when she can make a realistic volcano erupt on her wife's jacket?

Mary, who's probably my most favorite at the moment

Grew up poor, pretended to be her now dead brother Mark by mom in order to get Grandma's wealth

This caused some resentment to mom as while she kept trying to get them rich, she reminded her how this isn't something she deserves naturally

If you think this has strong Stede vibes, well it is

Born Deaf, so had to pretend to hear and verbally talk

Secretly learned sign from an elderly neighbor who lost her hearing

She grew up, joined the army, got married, he died, same things from wiki

Was on merchant ship when Anne came on, she picked up almost immediately her deafness and knew some signs (maybe from grandmother i decided) in order to have a convo

Hide and watched as pirate crew raided ship, knew she wanted to leave this cushiony life she had and yearned for true freedom from society, so she helped them and joined crew

Slowly started speaking less verbally and more with sign

Is an extreme sharpshooter, uses pistols as primary weapons and extremely fast with her hands so she can reload on in about six to seven seconds flat

Speaks usually eloquently and proper but sometimes sprinkles in "shitballs" and "piss stain" when pissed at someone

Can be seen as the more smart and rational one of her and Bonbon, but some highlights include:

Just, not understanding time. Leave her by herself for eight hours and she'll think a month's gone by

Very bad at decision making so will just shoot first ask questions later

Extremely competitive and a sore loser

Random things about them

If it's not obvious already, they are parallels to Stede and Ed, with Bonbon as Ed and Mary as Stede, just they actually communicate with each other XD. But I wanted them to have a mixed bag of their hobbies and personalities since I wanted them as their own characters

Bonbon will give anyone and everyone a nickname (Steeb, Teacher, Spriggy, etc.), Mary refers to everyone by their formal name (Edward, Isreal, Anne, etc.)

Mary wears her first husband's and Bonbon's wedding rings

Bonbon treats Mary so highly cause she knows how hard her life was and how she felt like she never deserved good things

Bonbon's nickname isn't actually for Bonny - its for Bonfire, a pirate name she's been trying to gain recognition for since she thinks Blackbeard is such a basic and stupid pirate name but got so well-known

Bonbon's nickname for Mary is Alyssum, a flower which has a beautiful meaning which I'll let you look up ;)

#ofmd #our flag means death #fanfic #fanfiction #anne bonny #mary read #if you wanna hear more about them #send me some questions! ive been thinking #about them a lot anyway and need to express it somewhere #before s2 comes #let.me.dream.with.ofmd

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andswarwrites · 8 months

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It's Friday, so it's time to slack off in the writing and make a list of favorite things. I'm currently watching the science fiction series Firefly with my daughter, and experiencing her reactions and responses is proving to be quite an experience for me. I've loved Joss Whedon's universe and the Firefly ship Serenity's crew ever since I first met them when a friend brought over the movie, and while we were dating, my future husband bought the boxed set of DVDs so I could watch the precious thirteen episodes. I do not love each episode equally, that is why I'm going to make this list. I'm going to do my best to keep spoilers to the minimum, but if you are reading this and have not seen the show and movie, stop reading and go watch them. It doesn't take long, and it's quality sci fi.

Number One: Serenity (Pilot)

As I said, I met the crew through the movie, so I had a vague idea who they were, but when I watched the pilot, I was blown away by how the characters were brought together, and how extremely well written the dialogue was. From Wash playing with his plastic dinosaurs (see, spoilers), to Jayne calculating the percentage of nothing, to Mal's discovery of River: this was not a cohesive group of individuals with a united goal, this was chaotic, conflict could be explosive, but there were moments of tenderness, there were glimpses of potential friendships and relationships. I love a good introduction, a great first chapter. I've seen many pilots, but none I could watch repeatedly as if it were a standalone movie. The pilot is a masterpiece.

Number Two: Out of Gas

Mal is an enigma, because in one way he cares for everyone on board his "boat", and he takes seriously his responsibility as their captain to keep them safe, but he tends to keep everyone at arm's length. This episode is divided into three specific stories, all mashed together: first, there's Mal, and he's all alone. He's injured, he's in danger. Next you see flashbacks of how he first met his ship and then the people who joined the crew along the way, and third, you see the story unfold of how he wound up alone on his ship, and the suspense builds as he struggles to make a desperately needed repair, all the while losing blood. It becomes clear, as you watch it, that it's Mal who brought this crew together. He made connections with everyone, and he didn't judge their background or actions. From this episode you learn how Mal thinks and operates, and if he wasn't before, he definitely becomes your Captain, too.

Number Three: Objects in Space

I love any story that focuses on River. I had difficulty choosing between Safe, Ariel and Objects in Space for the third rank, but I have to say that Objects in Space wins the place, just for that opening scene of River wandering the ship and our glimpse into her mind. The other factor that makes me feel like this episode is one of my top favorites is how unabashedly brutal, sadistic and clever Early is. Niska by comparison is a manipulative coxcomb, and up until the point where you meet Early, Niska seems like the worst villain they had the misfortune to encounter. While everyone is worrying about River, she takes matters into her own hands and plays mind games with Early. River is vulnerable, yet resilient. She is forthright, direct, yet there is much she keeps to herself. Following Early through the ship, watching him take control of matters, but then seeing him bested by River and her plan, now that is a satisfying storyline.

Number Four: Trash

Christina Hendricks is a treasure. Of course, we meet her in Our Mrs. Reynolds, but Trash is a heist episode. As will soon become abundantly clear: I love heist episodes. There are so many twists in Trash; first you think one person has outsmarted the rest, and then it turns out they themselves were outsmarted. There's a certain measure of suspense, as there should be with a heist, but Trash is mostly fun, thanks to quipping, bickering, playfulness and the like. We got to know the vixen in Our Mrs. Reynolds, but we learn so much about her indirectly in Trash. She's a thrill seeker, though somewhat pathetic. She always has to have the upper hand, and she's wily. And yet, you can't help but feel affection for her. And you have so many questions about her backstory. You may get a smidgen of answers, but you're left wanting more.

Number Five: Ariel

Firefly mixes space with small towns on backwater moons, livestock with fancy parties, guns and ammo with advanced technology, but then in Ariel you get to see the inside of a futuristic hospital in a bustling city. The color scheme is less warm, more cold colors creep in. This episode sets up a heist storyline, but then there are other elements that come to play. Two nemeses that were introduced back in The Train Job demonstrate how dangerous they truly are. An "interesting day" which was alluded to back in the pilot comes to pass. Simon finally truly shines as a doctor and a devoted brother, and a decent human being. But most of all, the story itself is compelling and suspenseful. A proper heist, with twists and turns, peril and betrayal.

Number Six: Jaynestown

One of the funniest episodes, in my opinion, this episodes also has depth, especially in its final scene, where the theme song of the entire episode quietly, subtly plays while Jayne utters "Don't make no sense." Jayne is one of the most straightforward characters. He likes money. He likes women. He looks out for number one. But even Jayne shows us that his conscience can smite him, in his own way. Jayne goes from confusion and wild-eyed stage fright to lapping up adoration to an earnest wish to make a difference to expressing heartfelt remorse and confusion at how strange people can be. And then there's Inara and how she influences a young man crushed by the personality of his father, helping him find his own. Part tender, part heartbreaking, and full of humor.

Number Seven: Safe

River looking into the soulful eyes of a cow. River dancing. River telling Simon what she knows to be true. Shepherd Book revealing that he isn't quite what he seems. "Big damn heroes" showing up "in the nick of time". And then Simon asking Mal why he came back for them and being told "You're on my crew." Simon and River are on the crew. Shepherd Book is on the crew. Mal has to prioritize one who is injured, but that does not make him abandon the others or choose and easier path. There are so many precious moments in Safe. It's like a scrapbook of Firefly's greatness. And while we heard Simon and River's story in the pilot, seeing it in Safe reveals so many details that were left unsaid.

Number Eight: War Stories

I figured out what I love best about this episode while discussing it with a friend. The best feature, for me, of this particular story, is how Wash simply shines. From that very first episode, where "He's the captain, Wash," is met with "Right, I'm just the husband," we see the underlying resentment Wash feels, under all the playful banter, behind the light-hearted quips, he feels threatened by just how close Mal and Zoe really are, how they have something he isn't part of. But in War Stories, we see Wash's epiphany, where he realizes what Mal did for Zoe: Wash has his wife thanks to who Mal is, how his survival instinct is contagious; Mal is a force of nature and Wash finally owes him in the same way Zoe does, bringing them closer together as they mount a reckless rescue operation as husband and wife. I could mention more scenes, more lines, from Kaylee getting pinned down and River coming to the rescue, to the way Book roasts Simon.

Number Nine: Heart of Gold

This one is a stand off between a band of misfits and a selfish sexist who apparently has the upper hand. It breaks my heart every time I watch it, so why isn't it lower on the list? Just like I love YoSaffBridge, I have tremendous affection for Nandi and the life she has carved out not only for herself but the family who inhabit the house with her. I love every scene with her in it, because she's a lot like Mal in feminine form. She handles crises well, she is a natural leader, she has authority as well as compassion, she knows how to protect those who rely upon her, she will take matters into her own hands and she has her own code which only she knows and follows. No wonder Mal and Nandi connect instantly.

Number Ten: The Train Job

We’re getting to the point where I'm asking myself "Why isn't this one higher up on my list?!" and then I look at all of the ones that precede them and I go "Oh, because they're all superb, so ranking them is really an impossible feat." Honestly, I would have ranked The Train Job higher if I had never learned that it was a substitute pilot. Of course, it does its job very well; it introduces the characters, it's snappy, it's fast-paced, its overall tone is good, and it introduces a minor character I adore, the sheriff of the town. All that being said, I'm so angry that the network decided to air this as the first episode instead of Serenity, which as I have stated is in itself a movie of such tremendous quality, I can't help but notice how the dialogue must carry so much exposition to make up for the fact that the audience was pitched into this story headlong. I have mixed feelings about The Train Job, but I still love it, because it introduces Niska, who is a comprehensive sadist who we love to hate, and as I said, the sheriff. As a pilot, however, it should never have been one.

Number Eleven: Our Mrs. Reynolds

Why is Trash higher up on the list than Our Mrs. Reynolds? Sometimes a story where we already know a character is more compelling than the story where that character is introduced. It's why I love GotG2 and GotG3 the most, even though when I first saw GotG, I thought it was the best movie Marvel had made so far (thank you, James Gunn, for this awesome trilogy). Honestly, my favorite character to be introduced was Vera. I still randomly say "I call her Vera" in conversation, and anyone unfamiliar with Firefly is completely lost as to my meaning. I also sometimes have Mal shouting "She was naked! And…articulate!" pop into my head making me laugh. Also Book leaning with his head at a comical angle reiterating "The special hell." It's a masterpiece. They all are.

Number Twelve: Shindig

When we meet Badger, he's a slimy, no-good half-pint crook. But in Shindig we see him interact with River, and that adds so many more layers to him, "a sad little king on a sad little hill." Like Jaynestown, Shindig is one of the episodes with a lighter tone, a lot of humor. It's also visually lush, stunning at times, and the commentary on high society and so-called refinement is deliciously scathing. Kaylee is just so sweet in this episode, Inara is graceful, Mal is "all right". Atherton Wing is a snake. And the end of Shindig sets up Safe. Shindig may be before-last in this "ranking", but as I said: they're all masterpieces.

Number Thirteen: The Message

The one thing I truly appreciate from The Message is a certain piece of music that Greg Edmonson composed. He was working on this episode when he learned that the show had been cancelled, and he put all his grief at this news into a sort of musical dirge, which moves me every time I hear it. Honestly, however, I have no tolerance for this episode's antagonist. His fate when he meets it seems so pointless to me. He was so hell bent on manipulating people who cared for him, he didn't stop to think that if he straightforwardly asked for help instead of wearing mask after mask to trick them, he would have obtained help and would have made it out of the situation. The way he can't ever bring himself to finish that sentence, and Zoe has to finish it for him: "You find someone to carry you." He had someone, two someones in fact, who would carry him, but he couldn't bring himself to ask. The tragedy physically hurts me.

And that's it! In order of my favorite to my least favorite, these are the thirteen episodes of Firefly. I'm sure every Browncoat on Earth could make this list and have a completely different order, while many might refuse to even attempt it, saying that they are all equally good. The thing about Firefly is that it was so brief it is basically a miniseries, self-contained, a story full of genius, a work of art. It is one of my all-time favorite shows. This list was fun to put together, but I might have to revisit it in ten years and see if the order changed. My appreciation of certain plots and characters develops as I do, my outlook shifts. Nothing should ever be set in stone, not while we are flesh and blood.

#andswar #firefly #science fiction

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scribbleshanks · 2 years

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If you’d like could you give some tips on drawing fabric? Or some good places to find references? Yours are so perfect to study because of how much passion is woven into every piece!

haha oh man, thank you so much! ^^

My dude my guy my buddy I understand your desire so bad, and I wish I could give helpful tips on drawing flowy fabric, but my process for understanding it is very difficult for me to explain since it is largely intuitive. That's probably a downside to being self taught, in that explaining the technical side of how you understand some things can be a struggle when you learned it through instinct and feeling (unless that's just me 0.0; ).

I'm happy to share some of the stuff I used to learn and study references from! I will preface this by saying that I still struggle with things like shirts and pants, and I mainly do better with something more freeform like a cloak or a cape. If anything, what's holding me back from sharing tips is my own limitations, haha. That being said, I'm still practicing as well, so let's do our best and practice together!

I will do a more detailed and clear tutorial on this in the future, but for now I hope this can at least provide a tiny bit of guidance:

- Essential Tips for Drawing Drapery and Folds from Art Rocket, or the Clip Studio Paint...website? I'm not sure what it is, but it's very helpful.

- Pinterest! For this I created an account just for references, proceeded to type in "cloak" or "cape" into the search bar, and pinned whatever caught my fancy. Which, looking back at my boards, was a lot 0_0;;

Pinterest is not perfect and can sometimes feature stolen or reposted art/references that don't credit the creator, and it can be intensely difficult looking for the source of a particular image. That being said, it's not a bad way to accrue a load of different references that you do find, and it's nice to have a lot of said references categorized in a specific place for you to go back to whenever you want. There's a looot of fantastic art tutorials on Pinterest that have helped me, but I lament when I can't find the original creator. Be prepared for reposted stuff, but the pins that do link to the original creator of that image can be very useful, because not only have you found a good reference but now you know who made it, and can find more good stuff from them :)

- Side note about Pinterest; they have a lot of fashion related photos and stuff that I personally study fabric from. Draw the model wearing the clothing to see how the fabric creases and lays and drapes against their form; studying that can help you begin to understand the pattern that fabric can take when drawing items of clothing on a body. Don't forget not to stick with one specific article of clothing (cloaks in my case); studying from dresses, shirts, pants, skirts, etc. will provide variety and flexibility for your understanding of fabric folds on the body ^^

- Your own clothes, blankets, forts, etc.! You also have the power of references for fabric folds if you happen to wear clothes! Which! Now that I say that I am really hoping you do! 8D

Haha but in all seriousness, studying yourself and how your clothes look on your body can really really help. (I hope it's worth mentioning that studying how clothing looks on a diverse cast of body types is also extremely important. How does fabric pull, stretch, or loosen around for a thin body, a fat body, a buff body? What happens when someone is wearing something too big for them? Too small? Just right? The possibilities are endless!)

An example below are studies of photos I took of myself pinning a thin blanket with a bobby pin and wrapping it around my body. This really helped me get a better understanding of fabric. it comes with all my personal notes for Krita brushes and everything.

An important note: brush up on your understanding of things like value and shadows! I think an essential part to getting the look of it is knowing that fabric folds come with crevices and valleys that create all sorts of shadows, so be sure to pay close attention to how light hits it and what shapes are formed as a result.

(for context this was for a hornet fanart but i refuse to elaborate due to embarrassment)

- Remember, important things to think about are how gravity affects the fabric, how the body type can affect the behavior of the folds/creases, how the thickness of the material affects the amount of folds, and what sorts of values and shadows are created.

The list can honestly go on, but truth be told, I have a rather limited list of sources (I swear I swear I looked at references and stuff, but realizing now that a lot of what I learned might just have come from Pinterest 0__0;;;; ). The things I mentioned above are probably the major things that I used to study and practice from. Try looking for particular art tutorials from other artists that explain the technical side of drawing fabric (I might have some on my tumblr in my #art references tag? I don't know if I've reblogged anything involving a tutorial on fabric, but you can always check it out in case. Hell I'm going to do that right now).

I would recommend doing a little bit of a search online specifically from other more experienced artists who share some helpful tips, since I don’t think I can very well ^-^;;. Look up random stock images of people wearing clothes and cloaks and capes; cosplays, costumes, regular casual clothes, etc. Anything can be a reference if it’s something to lay your eyes on! (If you’re going to copy from a reference for studying and decide to post it somewhere later, don’t forget not to claim it as your own and to share the source of the reference you studied from.)

Remember that it takes a lot of learning and practice, and to be kind to yourself. You can do it!!

#artist ask

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fansofvow · 3 years

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Interview with Eve Golden Woods!

Many of you know who is Eve is. She's a writer and artist, a part of Dreamfeel studios whose beautiful game If Found won Best LGBTQ Narrative and Best LGBTQ Indie game at the first ever Gayming Awards presented by EA games. I am really excited I had the chance to ask Eve some questions about herself, her time at Lovestruck and her creative process.

Congratulations on the two Gayming Awards (Best LGBTQ Narrative, Best LGBTQ Indie Game) for "If Found" from your game studio, Dreamfeel. What was the inspiration behind making the game?

If Found... was a game that emerged out of a collaboration between Llaura McGee, the founder of Dreamfeel, and artist Liadh Young. Liadh's background is as a comic artist, and so when they started working together Llaura had the idea of showing off Liadh's art by making a diary game, and using an erasing mechanic she had previously developed to let the player move through the diary in a fun way. By the time I came on board at the start of 2019, the game had already been in development for a while, so in some ways my work on that game was similar to the work I did for Voltage, because it was taking existing characters and concepts and writing a lot of scripts for them. Unlike Voltage, though, my work for Dreamfeel was a lot more collaborative and I had a lot more creative input. I really enjoy taking something and helping to make it the best version of itself that it can possibly be, but I was also really happy that I got to reflect a lot of my own experiences in If Found. Llaura and I both grew up on the west coast of Ireland, and although If Found... isn't autobiographical for either of us, it was definitely really meaningful to be able to tell a story that reflected our own experiences of growing up as queer teens in a similar kind of environment. Since the game came out we've had fans reach out to us and tell us that they also connected to the experiences of the main characters, and as far as I'm concerned, that makes me feel like I achieved everything I wanted to.

You are a writer and a visual artist. Does one come easier to you than the other?

I used to think of art and writing as talents, and I always felt like my art was at a very mediocre level (that's probably still true, lol). So when I was younger I focused a lot more on writing. It was only later that I started genuinely trying to improve as an artist, but when I did, I think I had a much healthier mindset, and approached it as a skill I could learn with patience and effort. Because of that, even though I still have a lot more confidence in my writing, I find art more fun and relaxing, and I don't stress about it as much.

Did you always know you would follow a creative path?

Kind of? Both my parents are artists, and I grew up surrounded by artists and writers, so it was something that was always very familiar and accessible to me. On the other hand, I didn't exactly have a clear idea of how to make it into a career, or what kind of work would be involved. But there's never been a point in my life where I wasn't doing something creative, even if it was only writing fanfiction.

What did your path to working professionally as a writer/artist look like?

I did a creative writing masters in college, but after that I spent years teaching English as a second language. That was really fun and I got to live abroad, but it was so busy and tiring that I didn't have time to do any writing outside of the occasional fanfic. I only started to take art seriously again when I became interested in games and comics as ways of telling stories. I did some critical writing, which led me to speak at a few local events and get involved in zine fairs. That was how I met Llaura, the director and lead of the Dreamfeel studio, and it's also what gave me the confidence to start applying for actual writing jobs.

Is there any work of art, visual or written, that you look to for inspiration?

So many! I try to read and watch as widely as I can, although there are touchstones I always return to, like the works of Ursula Le Guin and Terry Pratchett. Right now I feel very passionate about the actual play podcast Friends at the Table, which manages to combine really thoughtful worldbuilding and storytelling with cool, fun characters and great action scenes. I'm also reading a book called The Memory Police by Youko Ogawa, which has extremely beautiful prose.

Do you have a favorite piece of your own art, whether it is something you’ve drawn, a screenshot of something you’ve written or something else?

My favourite piece of art is usually whatever I finished most recently (I think that's true for a lot of people). Especially with visual art, once a bit of time has gone by you look back on it and start to notice all your mistakes, which is very annoying. But actually I do still really like the first piece of Fiona fanart I did last year. I managed to use some effects to give it a kind of nineties anime quality that I find really fun, and I think it conveys an emotion pretty effectively. That's always one of the hardest things to predict with visual art, whether the different parts will come together to create the exact mood you're looking for.

I also really like the compass I did for Bycatch. Krissy (@xekstrin) was the one who suggested filling it with fingernails, which was such a good, gross idea! As soon as I heard that I knew it was perfect and that I had to try and draw it.

Many people who read this blog know you as a writer for Lovestruck. When you look back on your time there, what stands out in your mind?

Lovestruck was very important to me when I first started because it was my first ongoing, regular, paid writing work. It gave me a lot of confidence and helped me to get into the habit of writing consistently and rapidly, which is a really useful skill to have. I know I was right to leave when I did, though, because I am just brimming with energy to work on my own projects, and channeling that power into something that you can't control will always end up disappointing you. Also, I made a ton of incredible friends, through Lovestruck itself but then even more so through VOW (@vowtogether), and that is more than worth all the difficult parts.

Is there any character that you would have liked a crack at writing?

Oh gosh, what a fun question! There are so many, but one I do sometimes think about is Axia, just because I know there are a bunch of fans who want her route, and because I had fun writing her as a villain in Zain's route. I can see in my head the shadow of a storyline that takes place after Zain's route is over, where she's in prison and trying to understand how she lost the battle with Zain and MC. I think there's, like, a gap there, where you could see her downfall forcing her to reconsider her assumptions about power, and that could build into a very interesting redemption story. But maybe it's for the best I never got to do that, because I would have wanted full creative control over it, and also I think the story in my head is very different to the sexy, in control, menacing version of Axia that her fans enjoy.

Do you have any upcoming projects you can talk about?

Most of my current work is under NDA, but I will say that I'm doing something very exciting with other VOW members that we should be able to talk about soon(ish). Maybe I can even give a little teaser... It's not a game, but it is something you can read, and my part involves cakes, swamps, and a museum.

Do you have a favorite quote or song lyric?

It's a big long, but there's a section from The Dispossessed by Ursula le Guin that has stayed with me ever since I read it:

"For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think."

It's such a profoundly radical way of imagining the world, so different to everything I was raised with, but whenever I think about it I feel like I can see something very beautiful and powerful that I hope to come closer to understanding some day.

And of course, "Solidarity forever, the union makes us strong."

I was a big fan of the show Inside the Actor’s Studio. Host James Lipton asked every single guest the same 10 concluding questions. I’ve picked 3 of them:

-What is your favorite word?

My favourite word: for sound, I like words you can really roll around on your tongue. Chthonic, alabaster, insinuation. For meaning, I think simple words that encapsulate big concepts have a kind of power to them. We use them so often we forget how big they are, how much weight they really have, but they give us the space to imagine new possibilities. Love. Freedom. Revolution.

-What is your least favorite word?

I've heard that "moist" is a lot of people's least favourite word but it doesn't actually bother me. My least favourite word is probably one where I feel like the sound doesn't match the meaning. One of the Irish words for rain is báisteach, which I feel has a much weightier and more onomatopoeic sound than rain. Rain is just very flat and uninteresting.

-What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Oh, so many! I love history, and I think being a historian/archaeologist would be fascinating. Or something that had a physical component to it, like being a potter or a carpenter. I don't think I'd be any good, but I'd love to take the time to learn.

What would be your advice to anyone who wants to pursue a creative career?

All the work you do matters. Even the failed experiments, the things you hate when they're finished. It all helps to make you better. Also, creative career paths are often really unexpected, so chase any opportunity that seems remotely interesting. Don't work for free for anyone who can afford to pay, but work for yourself and put it somewhere. On a blog, twitter, whatever. You'd be amazed how many people get noticed and get offered opportunities because of something they made in their spare time. You'll probably have to work another job for a long time, so don't be hard on yourself if you're too tired to devote much energy to creative work. Try to make art consistently, but don't feel like that has to mean every day. Don't chase after celebrities. Make friends with your peers.

#vowtogether #vow interview #writing #art #lovestruck #dreamfeel #iffound #gayming #gaming #mod atlas

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wolfies-fandom-archive · 3 years

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On Deathloop: Post-Game Thoughts and Feelings pt 1

It's been 3 weeks since I beat the game and it's still setting my brain on fire thinking about it. This post here is gonna be a breakdown on my thoughts and opinions, from the plot to the characters to the gameplay itself. Buckle up chucklefucks, this post is going to be long.

Warning obviously for MASSIVE SPOILERS under the cut about. Well. Everything.

I genuinely can't remember the last time a game like this made me think so hard about what's happening and what I'm doing. If the game didn't do you the favor of laying out the connections and leads for you I was about to seriously make a string board of my own.

The Mechanics:

The time loop mechanic isn't anything new in videogames, but the way Deathloop uses its loop is a little...Unique. Where in most videogames with a time loop, resetting before you complete your objectives is almost a failure. Here, it's part of the narrative. Every lead takes at least 2 loops to follow to the end.

Death isn't the end, either, not a reset to square one. It's just another loop. You lose whatever you don't have infused, of course. But you still have all the knowledge you gained, dying is still going forward.

I...have a lot of complaints, from a mechanics standpoint. Some small, some large.

I like that a lot of the abilities were based in the Dishonored ones, that familiarity helped get into the swing of things easier (nothing personal Charlie for the fact that you're the one I killed the most, but I can't live without blink shift). The ways the powers differed though were...frustrating.

Shift was extremely frustrating, in that even upgraded it had a notably shorter distance than Blink, and that felt like it cut off parts of exploration, or made them more difficult than needed.

Nexus was the other one that had me grinding my teeth more than once. Changing it from a targeted projectile that you choose who to effect to an AOE that you had to pray only got the people you wanted it to was definitely a downgrade to the ability. More than once I had to change or abandon plans because Nexus was hitting the wrong people, or not getting everyone I needed it to.

Only being able to take 2 powers out at once was bullshit, pure and simple. Even worse was not being able to use all the slab upgrades as you get them. Genuinely one of the stupidest things I've ever encountered.

My other beef is with the infusion machine, when you first use it and unlock it for yourself. The game made it seem like EVERYTHING you had equipped would be infused, not just the one singular gun that you use to activate the machine. I wish the game had been more clear about that, because that was probably the most frustrating thing to happen to me the entire game. I had spent the morning and noon sections of that specific loop hunting for a good first loadout to infuse and have, and it didn't end up mattering anyhow.

HOWEVER, because of the way that all worked out, FRANK'S gun of all of them was the first to get infused for me. Yes, I ship it. Yes, I got a large amount of personal satisfaction from that happening that way.

The Plot:

Break the Loop. Simple, no? Not really at all, actually, even without your daughter trying to kill you to stop you. How do you break people out of a loop that they willingly set up and put themselves in? Unfortunately, you kill them all.

And what does that say, really? Not the killing them part, though there's definitely something to that too. Everyone on Blackreef, from the Visionaries to the nameless masked randos, is there because they want to be. "The Party at the End of the World." Evidence suggests that tagline is literal. Everyone is there to escape...something. The actual end of the world? Quite possibly. From the looks of things in the ending where you do break the loop, literally. The sky is red, and the ocean is dried up. Clearly SOMETHING happened, or was about to. Can you really blame literally everyone for the fact that no one wants this loop to end? But Colt does.

Colt, who was trapped in Blackreef's loop before. Alone. Who can only see his own personal Hell, even when everyone else is in Paradise. Even when he doesn't remember why it's Hell.

And that memory loss, that they all dealt with. They all still think it's the First Day, forever. At one point Colt asks Julianna how long they've REALLY been there, and she makes a quip about not counting after the first 138 years. He dismisses her, but...I think she was serious. She talks about how Frank used to write new songs every day, Wenjie and Egor countless new experiments. Julianna likens it to a computer auto-dumping it's memory banks when storage gets too full. With how long the human lifespan is, I feel like they HAVE to have been there at least long enough to live out a theoretical life, in order to get to that point.

In a way, it almost feels like Colt is...the Bad Guy? He's the protagonist for us, yes, but is he really doing right by the others? Colt doesn't think it's any life to live, trapped forever in an endless loop. But who is he to make that call for everyone else? He thinks he's saving everyone, returning them to reality and a real life. You figure, this all happened for a reason. Even for people as big into the whackjob science like Wenjie or Egor, this isn't exactly something to be done lightly, or without some driving reason behind it. So what is Colt saving them from, really? Himself, and his ideals.

And the fact that you "save" everyone by killing them is so...delicious. Here you have this group of people with enough money to throw around that they used half-baked science they barely understood to literally fuck with the fabric of spacetime in order to live forever. And they spend most of their time dying, or cowering from dying. Live forever, die forever, trapped in your own eternal conceptual paradox.

The Setting:

Blackreef. An otherwise seemingly normal island, with one massive difference. A hole in reality. An anomaly where time and space bleed through and together. Where with just the right science, a permanent, stable time loop can exist.

Before it was home to a never-ending party, it was a military base, running "Operation: Horizon." Like the Aeon Program, their focus was on the anomaly. Though where the Aeon program was studying the anomaly's effects on time, the Army was studying space. More specifically, trying to figure out a way to use the anomaly as a like...super-transport, almost. Get anywhere in the world in the blink of an eye, send messages instantly, bombs, whatever. But when they tried to exploit it? An accident, on their end, and a reason to pack it up back to the mainland. An experimental rocket plane, and its pilot, gone in the blink of an eye. And on the other side of the anomaly, the first loop. Colt, on the island alone for 17 years, until he commits suicide and breaks the loop by accident, depositing himself on a Blackreef that wasn't the one he left behind, in a world that thought he was dead.

Aaaaaaaaaahahahaha this got long wow. I also have a take about the whole "Does Deathloop take place in the Dishonored Universe?" but that is DEFINITELY going to be a separate post.

If you read this all the way through: I love you, and please come talk to me about this game.

#deathloop #deathloop spoilers #arkane deathloop #i sure do have a lot of Thoughts about this game

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gifted-burnout-archive · 4 years

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Jim’s Best Friend

Part Twenty Four: A Severe Attitudinal Problem

Word Count: 3.6K+

Author’s Note: Agh! Sorry! My week has been hectic and I just haven’t had the chance to sit down and write properly. But, I have finally produced something with this chapter that I wanted to share, and I quite like it. So I hope you enjoy.

Warning: discussion of past abuse (briefly. We bring up Brian again, remember that asshole?)

For previous chapters, click here.

June, 2008.

"DID I STUTTER?" Stanley asked in a raised voice, his question directed to Michael. Your boss had messed up, you knew it: no-one bothers Stanley enough to get him shouting, but Michael interrupted his crossword. The entire conference room fell silent in the wake of Stanley's address, Jim glancing over at you, his hand sat comfortably on your thigh, drawing little circles. A few minutes ago, he was winding you up, having you thinking that he would propose in the middle of a meeting. And however much your boyfriend's teasing would border on anxiety-invoking, it was so much better than the sheer silence around you now, and the look of shock on Michael's face. The same face that had been submerged in cement earlier that morning... What fun times you let fly by you...

"Good... This is good." Michael said quickly, turning away from his paper chart board with the word 'Energise' scrawled over it, now facing the door. "I'm going to get myself a glass of water." He exited quickly, leaving his employees to their own devices, and you knew he had gone into the storage closet to cry. Michael did it a lot.

You were the first to move after a minute or so of Michael disappearing, the phone at reception beginning to ring and seemingly shaking the rest of your office from their stupor. You squeezed Jim's hand before rushing out the conference room to answer the phone, taking a seat at your desk with a happy sigh as you tried to bring back your cheery tone of voice.

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Y/N." You answered, smiling as the rest of the team exited and returned to their desks, sending a wink Jim's way. You listened for a moment, hearing heavy breaths on the other end of the phone, causing you to frown a little. "Hello?" You asked.

"Sorry, who am I calling?" The voice on the other end was male, gruff, and you cleared the lump from your throat when replying.

"That's alright sir. This is Y/N Y/L/N, at the Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch. Is there anything I can help you with today? Have you dialled the wrong nu-" Before you could finish your second question, the caller hung up, and you let out a note of confusion as you set down the phone. You spun in your chair, quickly gathering some files for Toby, and getting up from your desk, Jim grabbing your hand as you walked past.

"Y/N..." He said seriously, reaching into his pocket and causing your breath to hitch. The reaction made him grin, and you knew he had got you again. "I propose that you tell me who was on the phone." He suggested with a cheeky smile, and you hit his arm lightly, his other hand retrieving a pack of gum from his pocket.

"Some old guy, I think he called the wrong number." You said with a shrug, taking one of the fruit gum strips and unwrapping it. You popped it into your mouth quickly, Jim following suit.

"You know, it might be your stalker." Dwight interrupted, not looking up from his computer, causing you and Jim to look over at him. you almost choked on your gum.

"Run that by us again, Dwight." Jim asked quickly, tilting his head to make sure he heard his co-worker right the second time.

"Y/N's stalker." Dwight restated, and your eyes went wide. Since when had you had a stalker, and since when did Dwight know?

"Dwight, you really need to expand on this on, buddy." you said quickly, a little off-guard. Dwight looked over at you, rolled his eyes dramatically, and turned his chair away from his computer.

"There's a man, who hangs around the building sometimes. Especially in the last couple of weeks. He watches the cars come and go, I saw him last week watching you leave." Dwight said nonchalantly, and Jim looked up at your shocked expression which matched your own.

"Why wouldn't you tell me this, Dwight?" You snapped, your heart beating a little faster in your chest. the subject of your anger shrugged.

"It's not my fault you aren't observant."

"I'm... This is a prank right, Dwight? You're getting back at Jim for last week by pranking me?" You let out a nervous laugh. "Good one!" Before either of the men could refute what you were suggesting, you tapped on the papers in your hand. "I need to get these to Toby. Excuse me." You were quick to hustle your way to Toby's desk in the annex, shaking Dwight's prank from your mind. It had to be a joke, right? Scranton isn't the place you have a stalker. It just isn't.

Unless Brian was back, then you had a whole other problem and a restraining order to keep him away.

"Oh, thanks Y/N. I was just about to ask for these." Toby said with a weak smile as you handed over the stack of paper, and you returned the facial expression. He went on to ask how your day was going as Michael walked past the pair of you, a tub of ice cream in hand as he shuffled back to his office from, now confirmed, the storage closet.

"You know, might be an idea for you to talk with him about the whole Stanley thing..." You suggested, and Toby sighed, responding with a nod. You weren't sure what was meant to happen when an employee shouted at their boss, but Michael needed to at least talk about it. You gave him a final smile, quickly poking your head over the separator to ask Kelly if she wanted a coffee. When she politely declined, you headed back to the kitchen,dumping the gum in the trash, making yourself and Jim up some coffee, Angela and Andy sat at the kitchen table playing some sort of madlib on thier break.

In all honesty, you were surprised they were still together, but glad it seemed to be working out. Even Dwight seemed to be moving on, what with the photo Michael shared the other week of Dwight swapping saliva with a six foot two college athlete in New York.

"Hey, you guys." you got their attention with a quick smile, the pair looking up form their rather tame madlib. "Sorry, I just had to ask... Has there been a guy hanging round the office? Brian, maybe?" The final question was directed more towards Angela, who seemed to see how anxious you were about it. She stood up and walked over, placing a hand on your arm before helping herself to a bottle of water from the fridge.

"I haven't seen Brian in over a year, Y/N. Probably more. If any of us saw him, we would let you know." Angela assured you, and you felt yourself relax a little. Despite the on-off friendship you shared with the small blonde, when you finally had to ask Pam, Oscar and Jim to testify at your court proceedings for your restraining order against your ex, you made it clear to the office that Brian was not a good man. You didn't go into much detail, but everyone got the jist, and since then he had been put on a banned list for the business park.

"Thank you... Dwight must have been joking." You explained, topping yourself up on sugar and creamer before heading back out to your desk, setting a cup of coffee on Jim's as you went. You sat yourself down, taking a sip of your own beverage as the phone rang. "Dunder Mifflin, this is Y/N." you said quickly.

"I propose that you are the best girlfriend ever." Jim said over the phone, and you looked over, rolling your eyes at him. "Thank you for my coffee."

"You are very welcome, Mr Halpert. Now get off my line, I have clients to transfer and voicemails to answer." You couldn't help but giggle as you spoke. The pair of you put down your phones, you continuing about your business answering emails and calls, catching Toby heading into Michael's office and closing the door behind him.

As morning turned to afternoon, and Michael's attempts at denying Stanley's outburst at the morning meeting became even more futile, oyu had the displeasure of welcoming Ryan into the office, the scrawny temp having done his best to ful full douchebag with his permanent stubble beard and blinding white shirt. He walked past you without a second glance, throwing his coat onto your desk as he typed away at his blackberry.

"How's my favourite branch doing?" He asked, a habit he had gotten into when visiting his old workplace, before heading straight into the conference room with Tboy at his heels.

You looked at his coat in disgust, using a pencil to scoop it up an throw it onto the coat rack haphazardly, earning a chuckle from your approaching boyfriend. He leaned onto your desk as you wheeled back to your usual position, smiling up at him.

"Were you about to go for more coffee?" You asked, running a finger along his exposed forearm. "Because I propose that you get me a fresh cup." You teased him, switching his game on its head, and getting an impressed look from your boyfriend.

"Touché." Jim said simply, giving your hand a quick kiss before grabbing your mug, along with his own and heading for the kitchen. You watched him in your peripheral, enjoying the view of your extremely good-looking boyfriend fetching you coffee, but tried to stay focused on the email you were drafting to send to corporate. You were doing it so Stanley didn't have to, trying to keep on the older employee's good side. It seemed to have worked, he smiled across the room at you as you sent the draft his way, getting a nod of approval.

Jim, on his way back to deliver your coffee, was stopped as he passed the conference room door, called in by Ryan.

"Hey Jim! Come here for a second!" Ryan called him in, and Jim gave you a quick shrug before heading into the room, a coffee mug in each hand. "Can you answer me something as, as a true Eagles fan?"

"Oh boy..." Jim sighed, a smile appearing on his face.

"How do you live with a franchise this bad?" Ryan asked, and Jim let out a chuckle, one you could hear from your desk when you listened hard enough.

"On a wing and a prayer mostly." Jim responded, sharing a quick smile with Toby.

"All right, whatever you say. Uh, listen. While I have you here with Toby, I need to give you a formal warning about your job performance."

"A formal warning?" Jim let out a nervous chuckle.

"It's actually not a joke." Ryan cut him off, dead serious. "I know how you spend your time here. And I know how little you care about your job. And, honestly, if spent as much time selling as you do goofing around with Dwight and hanging out a reception with your girlfriend, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"I'm sorry..." Jim was shocked, to say the least. "Is this because I talked to Wallace about your website? Because I really didn't mean to go over your head." Jim asked. He had been against the idea from the beginning, a voiced his concerns about Ryan's twisted version of your website idea with David Wallace at Christmas time. Ryan, undoubtedly, hated Jim for a number of reasons, and Jim did not liked Ryan. The problem was, one of them was in a position of power now, and it wasn't your boyfriend.

"This has nothing to do with that, all right? I always appreciate constructive criticism about my job performance. I thrive on it." Ryan said decidedly, leaving Jim a little lost.

"I'm sorry, then do you mind explaining a little better?" Jim asked, looking down at the mugs of coffee in his hands, starting to go cold. "Because I'm not sure what's really-"

"Woah, don't get all defensive, all right?" Ryan cut him off, holding his hands up in faux surrender. "It's just a warning. If you want the details, Toby can provide.you take it easy, all right? Say hi to Y/N for me." Ryan dismissed Jim with that line, the lanky shaggy-haired man walking out with a face displaying puzzlement as he walked over to you, setting your cooling coffee on your desk. You took a sip, trying your best to hide a grimace as you drank the too cold to drink coffee, and glanced back at Jim.

"Everything ok?" You asked him as he took a sip of his own coffee. He frowned as he swallowed.

"Just talking about bureaucratic stuff. Let me make us some fresh cups." He said softly, taking your mug back and heading to the kitchen, not saying another word on the subject. You kne he would talk to you in time, he always did, so you let it go, continuing to type away on your computer. When Jim returned a few minutes later, he dropped off your coffee with only a smile, heading back to his desk to start making calls. You hadn't seen him so focused at work in months.

It was coming on half four when Michael finally emerged from his office, conveniently the second Stanley left for the bathroom. Ryan had only dropped in for an hour or so, taking time to pull in a few employees about HR problems, corporate benefit changes, the boring bureaucraatic stuff Jim had told you about earlier. Luckily, he was gone by the time you had come back from your lunch break, and you had enjoyed the more relaxed afternoon.

That was, until Michael decided to ruin it.

"Ok, everbody, shh. Listen up." Michael stage whispered as he entered the main office. "Earlier today, Stanley sassed me. And Toby gave me some suggestions on how to discipline him. They did not work, obviously, because they were stupid. So I am now going to fake fire him." Michael explained, and you raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Michael, what does that mean?" You asked, looking up as you sent an email away. You loved your boss, you really did, but sometimes he was so, so stupid.

"It's like a mock execution."

"That's not a good idea." Jim injected, inhaling sharply.

"Yes it is a good idea." Michael defended. "It's the only possible solution I have left."

"Well, you can actually fire him." Toby suggested.

"No! Ok, I've had enough of you." Michael scolded Toby, who just sighed.

"Why are you telling us this?" Oscar asked, voicing the question you were all thinking.

"Because I want you to behave like I'm actually firing him, Oscar, ok?"

"Michael, if you hadn't told us this, we would have thought that you were actually firing him." Kevin chimed in, and Michael seemed to get even more distressed.

"I'm not firing him! I'm not! I just- what I'm going to do is I'm going to pretend that I'm firing him. And I need you to act like I am firing him. Do you get that? Do you get it? I'm teaching him a lesson." As Michael spoke, you watched Dwight, who nodded along with every word the boss said like it was gospel. "He needs to learn humility. All right? that's all I'm-" The creaking bathroom door set Michael on alert, his eyes darting around as Stanley exited the bathroom. "Ok, here he comes. Let's just play act." As Stanley walked back into the room, Michael composed himself. "Stanley, may I talk to you for a second?" Michael asked, the older gentleman sighing and walking round to stand face to face with Michael. "Stanley Hudson, you are fired."

"Are you serious?" Stanley asked quietly, looking around the room. You instinctively averted your eyes, glancing back down at your computer.

"I am serious. We are all serious. You are fired like a heart attack." Michael had his arms folded over his chest, doing his best not to break.

"You're firing me over three words?" Stanley clarified, and when Michael nodded, Stanley took a deep breath. "Have you lost your mind? Do you think I'm going to let you do this to me? I've watched you screw up this office for ten years, and I'm filing a lawsuit, and I'm going to tell them about every stupid thing you've ever done up in this office." Stanley said with confidence that only came with honesty, and you shared a look with Jim.

"Alright, ok. You know what? Now you know how I feel." Michael took his turn to speak, holding out a hand as he spoke, managing the distance between him and the disgurntled employee. "This was a fake firing. Lesson learned. Good work everybody. Very nice." Michael sent a thumbs up your way, and you just sat your head in your hands.

"So I'm not fired?" Stanley was beyond confused, and getting angrier by the second.

"That's it." Michael nodded. "And do you have anything to say to me?"

"Ooh, yes.. I do" Stanley almost growled the words, before taking a deep breath. Everybody in the office mentally prepared for Stanley raising his voice for the second time that day. "You are out of your damn little pea-sized mind. What is wrong with you? Do you have any sense? At all? Do you have any idea how to run an office? Everyday you do something stupider than you did the day before! And I think there's no possible way he can top that! But what do you do? You find a way, damn it, to top it! You are a professional idiot!"

"HEY! Stop it!" Michael yelled back, causing Stanley to go silent, the two men facing off. Michael took a breath, and you saw his eyes were red and watery, sending a pang of pit to your heart. "Ok, everybody out. Everyone except Stanley." Michael ordered, the office quickly clearing, Jim taking your hand to lead you out the door quickly. Neither of you needed to see what happened next, no-one in the office did, so you all filed into the elevator for the parking lot.

Stood out in the parking lot as Stanley and Michael discussed upstairs, you looked up at Jim, who, like so many others in the office, had been smart enough to leave with his bag and coat, the latter draped over your shoulders to block out the chill that came with the approaching night.

"Y/N, will you do me the honour..." Jim started, leaning onto one knee, causing you to gasp and glance around. Most of the office had gone home, the few stragglers stood by cars while you waited at the door. Jim looked up as you inhaled the air, his hands tying his shoe and his lips forming into a wide grin. "Of coming over to my place for pizza tonight?"

"You bastard." You muttered, kicking him lightly in the foot, more of a tap than anything. Your cheeks were flushed red, you heart just slowing down. "You can't keep this up, Halpert." You said with a small smile, and as he stood up his lips connected with yours. It was soft, delicate, but you melted into him, eyes fluttering closed. Everytime he kissed you, it felt like you were getting a taste of heaven.

"You want to head now?" He asked. Almost everyone else had headed home, Dwight being the only person waiting until it struck exactly five o'clock. You shook your head.

"I left my stuff upstairs, I'll be at yours within the hour?" You promised, and Jim kissed you once more, shorter this time, before heading to his car. As he pulled out, Stanley walked out the door past you, smiling quickly at you as he walked to his own car, and you took it as a cur to head back inside and pick up your stuff.

When you got into the office, Michael was leaving, the pair of you sharing a quick smile, wishing the other a good weekend. Michael seemed more excited than normal, no doubt having a date the next day. Ever since he and Jan had broke up, the man was just happier. It only took you a few minutes to gather your things, sitting down to send the last few emails of the day before closing up the office for the night. You had been in the office no more than thirty minutes, but the sky was already dark, no doubt in part because of the fog that seemed to have settled.

You took the stairs down to the ground floor, notcing Hank had left early, though you couldn't blame him. Driving in the fog was going to be a nightmare. The parking lot lights helped a little, and you rummaged through your bag as you exited the building, looking for your car keys. Quickly grabbing them, you unlocked your car and headed over, putting your stuff in the back seat.

A sudden rustle of the hedge leaves cause your eyes to snap towards the sound. Was your mind playing tricks on you? There was no-one there, no-one left in the building. You shook it off, opening your phone and dialling Jim's number, hoping to offer to collect the pizza on your way back, but it went straight to voicemail, Jim no doubt on the phone to the restaurant at that very moment.

Another rustle, followed by the snapping of a twig, caused you to tense up. Insinctively, you slide your keys through your fingers, this time entering 911 on your keypad as you walked round your car to the driver's door. You knew how horror movies played out, and you weren't going to be a victim.

In the few seconds it took to shift your attention to unlocking your door, you looked up at a shadowy figure. Your heart seemed to stop for a moment before speeding up, fear taking over. Surely Brian knew what would happen if he tried anything?

"Look, Dwight, it isn't funny!" You said, a small part of you hoping this was all just some elaborate prank. But the figure kept moving towards you, and you stumbled back, rushing round your car door, planting one foot in the car before the figure finally spoke up, in turn entering the light given by the street lamp above you.

"Hey, kiddo." The voice was gruff, familiar, for more than one reason. The man in question had his hand shoved deep in his jacket pockets, with polished shoes and a jacket and suit that looked more expensive than your used car. In fact, he looked more expensive than anything you had imagined. Photos of him from years before had him as overwight, with no grooming tendencies whatsoever, a proclivity for beer. This wasn't the same man, but those eyes were your own, and the pit in your stomach opened wide.

"Dad?"

Tags: @imsuperawkward @poppirocks @rosie2801 @onceuponahuntersrealm @aziggya @suitelifeofafangirl @legendaryoafhairdozonk @dxbriksx @retrodrummers @sugar-snap @art-flirt @biwwie-iwish @im-a-writer-right @hiyaitssans

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missmentelle · 4 years

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I just watched the Netflix show You and it's been discussed but I don't really understand - in a relationship, how does one project their own views and fantasies onto another person? How can you tell if it's happening? Is there a certain point where it's normal or it can't be helped? It's happened a lot in the show but I'm having trouble identifying it. Also, I recommend watching You: it's a thoughtful take on how we view romantic relationships as a society and how that can be twisted

I absolutely love that show. For those of you who haven’t seen the thriller show “You”, it’s about a charismatic but underachieving man named Joe who works as the manager at a bookstore in Manhattan. He meets a young grad student named Beck when she comes into his bookstore one afternoon, and is immediately infatuated with her; he is completely consumed by his desire for a relationship with her, and it becomes clear very quickly that he’s willing to go to extreme lengths to make it happen. (Mild spoilers for Season One ahead) Joe is obsessed with Beck from the moment he lays eyes on her. But of course, he’s not really obsessed with her - he is obsessed with the person that he wants her to be. He decides - based only on her clothes, the book she buys and a three-minute conversation with her - that she’s a bookish “good girl” and an intellectual, a serious writer who values real literature and doesn’t crave men’s attention. And he’s very interested in that. She’s his Manic Pixie Dream Grad Student, whether she likes it or not. It’s clear from the very beginning that Joe thinks extremely highly of himself, and he feels entitled to a woman who is just as intelligent and sophisticated as he is - when he looks at Beck, he decides that she’s that perfect girl he’s been waiting for all along. Moreover, he decides that she’s equally interested in him - she pays for her book with a credit card, and Joe decides that she did that because she intentionally wanted Joe to learn her full name. And of course, as Joe learns more about Beck, he discovers that she’s not the artsy, aloof writer he had been envisioning in his head. She goes out drinking with friends that Joe dislikes, she has a trashy boyfriend, she posts selfies on Instagram, and doesn’t actually do any writing. But instead of deciding “oh wow, I was super wrong about this girl, I definitely got carried away”, Joe decides that the REAL Beck is the girl he fantasized about in the bookstore, and that she just needs his help to realize it. He decides that he knows what’s best for a woman who is a complete stranger to him, deliberately manipulating her life to turn her into more of the person he wants her to be, until... well, you know how it ends.

When you first start watching You, it can be hard to understand how messed-up Joe actually is. He is the main character of the show, and the narrator. He is also capable of great kindness - he genuinely cares for the neglected child who lives in an abusive household next door - and it kinda feels like we’re supposed to root for him. After all, he just wants what’s best for Beck. He sees who she really is inside, and he knows that she deserves better than the life she has right now. He just wants her to reach her full potential and stop wasting time with people who don’t really care about her... what could be so bad about that?

The problem, of course, is that Joe doesn’t know jack shit about Beck, and he has no right to decide what is and isn’t good for her. She is a grown-ass woman, and he is a stranger she met at a bookstore. Joe claims to have good intentions, but his intentions aren’t the point here - nobody has the right to meddle in someone else’s life behind their back, no matter how much they love and care about them. When you truly care about someone, you respect their choices - Joe has absolutely no respect for the decisions Beck makes, and sees no issues with isolating, stalking and terrorizing her if it gets him what he wants. Joe claims that Beck is miserable, but we don’t know actually know that - he filters everything he sees through a very thick lens of his own self-interest. He doesn’t allow her basic autonomy to choose what matters to her. Beck is not actually a real person to Joe - she is a prize that he wants to win.

Think about the show from Beck’s perspective - you’re an adult, with your own whole, complete life. You have friends, dreams, a boyfriend, guilty pleasures. You make bad choices sometimes, sure, but they are YOUR choices, and you have the freedom to make them. And then you walk into a shop one day and the man behind the counter suddenly decides that you’re his soulmate and it’s now his job to make decisions for you. You barely know this guy, but he thinks he has the right to control your life - he wants to control who you date, who you talk to, and how you spend your time. Imagine doing something as ordinary as paying for a book with your credit card, and having the person behind the counter interpret this as evidence that you want them to Google you and come to your house. The very idea of it is terrifying.

The plot of You is obviously a huge dramatization, but the same dynamic does appear in real-life abusive relationships. Abusers often have very specific ideas about what their ideal partner should be like, and they believe - consciously or unconsciously - that they are “owed” this person. When they meet someone, they tend to decide extremely quickly that THIS is finally the person they’ve been waiting for all along. They don’t really feel the need to get to know the person as an individual - they assume that they already know everything they need to know about the person, and that the relationship will be effortless. When that inevitably doesn’t pan out because their partner is a real person with needs and flaws, they get angry and the abuse starts to come out - they try harder and harder to control their partner and force them back into being the perfect person they’d envisioned, and they lash out angrily when that doesn’t work.

Although it’s nowhere near as extreme as what happened in You, I’ve had my own experiences with dating someone who was projecting their fantasies on me. My long-term college boyfriend was several years older than me, and already finished with grad school while I was still an undergrad. As the relationship went on, it became very clear that he was looking for a meek, nerdy girl who would appreciate his geek interests but never try to overshadow him. He strongly encouraged me to do the nerdy thing he approved of - cosplaying, attending conventions, playing D&D - but didn’t want me wearing makeup (I wear winged liner every day of my life), dyeing my hair strange colours (which I used to do quite often as a student) or even wearing my contact lenses instead of glasses (I got contacts the moment I was old enough and haven’t been seen in my glasses since). He was hugely threatened by the fact that I took my academics seriously, and he freaked out when I was accepted to an Ivy League grad school because “it would be so humiliating to have a girlfriend who went to a better school than I did”. He had a very specific vision of the kind of girlfriend he wanted to have, and he was prepared to try to stamp out the parts of me that didn’t align with what he wanted. It’s okay to have standards and expectations for the kind of partner you want to have. That’s normal. I’d argue that it’s necessary. Speaking from personal experience, life is a lot easier when you expect your partners to have mastered basic communication and coping skills. And sometimes you will need to look for a partner who has very specific traits - if your dream is to have 12 children and live on a goat farm, you need to find a partner who is on board with that goal. It’s also fine to have preferences in terms of aesthetics, interests and lifestyles - we’re always going to have certain things that we find appealing, and it’s okay to be into that. What’s not okay is to have such rigid expectations about how our future partner will look, dress and behave that we can’t cope with not getting our exact fantasy. It’s fine to think that dating a quirky art major with a nose ring would be awesome. It’s not fine to think that dating a quirky art major with a nose ring is the answer to all your problems. And it’s definitely not fine to latch on to the first quirky art major with a nose ring that you can find, and then punish them when they turn out to be a complex human with real issues and not just a living doll. Whenever you’re dating, it’s important to remember that you are dating a real, live human, and not a cartoon character. They are going to grow and change, and they are going to have flaws, off-days and traits that don’t match up with your fantasies. Your punky goth girlfriend is going to have days where she just wants to lounge around the house in her pajamas and watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Your tough, manly lumberjack boyfriend might have a super sensitive gag reflex and spend an awful lot of time on the phone with his mom. We’re all weird, and each of us needs to have the freedom to be our own kind of weird in a relationship - if you find that your desire to be with someone is extremely dependent on their appearance, dress, weight, hobbies, friends, job, etc, and you can’t handle not having control over those things, you aren’t ready to date. The other big red flag to look for here is how fast someone rushes the relationship. If you’re projecting your fantasies on someone, you don’t really feel much need to get to know them - like Joe, you’re pretty sure that you know everything that you need to know about them soon after meeting. You are fully expecting this person to be the fantasy partner you desire, and so there’s no point waiting to see how the relationship goes - within weeks, you’re ready to move in together, adopt a pet together, and even get engaged. If you’re convinced that a person you met three weeks ago is your soulmate, it’s time to stop and take a hard look at things - you don’t know a person you meet three weeks ago, and you have no idea if they’re your soulmate or not. You are trying to date a fantasy and not a real person. Hope this answers your question! MM

#Anonymous

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ambivalent-anarchy · 4 years

Text

Star Wars 101 (Ch. 2) Episode IV - A New Hope

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Wow, I didn't realize how much I'd written until I hit the tumblr limit. Hope you like it! Comment your thoughts!

Chapter Summary: Steve just wants to do his job, the avengers are the best wingmen, Scott doesn't like porn, and [y/n] thinks all nerds are freaky

~~~

sci-fi boi: okay which cartoon rivalry was better?? Popeye the sailor man and Bluto or Tom and Jerry?

crackhead [y/n]: dude.

crackhead [y/n]: how is that even a question??? Obviously Tom and Jerry lol

sci-fi boi: explanation pls

crackhead [y/n]: popeye and bluto were always fighting over that girl olive and some other stupid crap but with my two furry buddies it was no talk pete no discussions just murder attempts ON SIGHT. Tell me they don't go harder than any other rivalry

sci-fi boi: haha truuuu

~~~

"Are we boring you, Queens?"

Peter's head snapped up quickly, discreetly turning his phone off underneath the meeting table. "Um-huh? No no no, Mr. Rogers I'm listening. Sorry."

Steve shook his head and continued to speak as he pointed to the pictures on the screen at the end of the room. All of the Avengers of Earth were there, some half asleep, while the others either joked or listened intently.

In two short days, they were going to be taking back powerful tech that Martin Li(aka: Mr. Negative)'s "demons" had stolen from Stark Industries. A simple "get in and get out".

They'd known this plan for some days now, yet Steve insisted on calling meetings to go over it again and again.

Feeling a quick vibration go off in his hand, Peter instinctively looked back down at his phone to see a snapchat text notification from you.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible🐝...

~~~

Peter shook his head slightly as he chuckled, a smile shamelessly creeping onto his face.

~~~

sci-fi boi: did you really just quote the bee movie at me???😂😂

~~~

"Hey spidey-boy, would you mind sharing to the class what's so hilarious?" Rhodey's voice rang out loud and clear from across the table.

Quick as lightning, Peter turned his phone off and buried it in between his thighs, realizing that he hadn't been as quiet as he'd thought. To his luck, everyone’s eyes were trained on him now.

“It's n-nothing!” Peter squeaked, his voice breaking embarassingly. He shoved his phone into his pocket in fear of someone snatching it from him.

Natasha rolled her eyes and smirked. "So what're you looking at down there?"

"I-i, uh, I was just um, w-watching a funny- very funny video actually-"

"C'mon guys!," Sam laughed, clapping his hands together. "Don't tease the kid. We all know what he was smiling at down there!"

At that, Peter practically choked. "WHAT?!"

Tony snickered. "Personally, I don't think two inches is something to be proud of, but alright."

Peter's eyes widen, nearly falling out of his skull by the looks of it. "I-it's not two inches a-and I wasn't looking at-!"

"Jesus christ, guys..." Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He was obviously just doing something on his phone. Leave the poor guy alone."

Peter coughed as he saw Steve glare at him with that infamous 'Im Captain America and Im judging you' glare. Phones weren't allowed in the meeting room. Well, they weren't supposed to be. No one ever really followed that rule except Peter. But he'd already been so deep in his conversation with you that he just couldn't put his phone down. "No no, um, I wasn't.. I was just zoning out, y'know, and I just happened to be looking-"

"-at your phone?," Steve cut in to ask.

"-at your dick," Rhodey stated at the same time.

"-at porn," Tony said with an all-knowing smile, causing everyone at the table to turn towards either him or Peter, whose face was beet red with embarrassment.

"Peter please tell us you weren't watching porn," Scott begged, his jaw completely dropped. "I mean, no judgment but-"

"Full judgement, actually," Clint corrected, an extremely disturbed look on his face. "Seriously, what were you doing, kid? You gotta tell us now with all these assumptions being thrown around."

"Curious," Thor stated, leaning back in his chair. "What is porn?"

"Something that I definitely WAS NOT watching!," Peter responded as he practically slammed his face into the table and slapped his hands over his eyes. "Does it even matter what I was doing anyway?," he mumbled into the table.

Natasha raised an eyebrow, blowing the smoke off of her coffee. "People usually aren't this defensive when they're telling the truth, Peter."

Peter shrunk into his seat with a loud groan. Can I die. Can I please just die. Like why am I seriously even alive right now??? Some bad guy please just burst through the door and maim me please.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. pull up Parker's phone," Tony commanded once the commotion in the room died down.

Peter quickly lifted his head. "Wait, what?!"

"Accessing Peter Parker's mobile device, sir," F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded. "Would you like for me to transfer the screen to the meeting board?"

Tony looked back with a laugh to see a frozen, slack-jawed Peter. He turned back around. "Yeah sure, F.R.I.D.A.Y., what the heck let's have fun."

"No wait- are you seriously hacking into my phone right now?!"

"Well why're you so tense, Parker?," Sam asked teasingly. "Thought you had nothing to hide?"

"I-i don't!," he stammered. "I-it's just..." he trailed off, looking for the right words to say. "..that's my private property," he said lamely while staring at the wall.

Tony stared back at him. "Well that's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard." He pointed towards the board. "Alright it's coming up."

Scott closed his eyes. "Oh God, please don't be porn.."

Peter rolled his eyes. Everyone else looked to the large board, fully expecting to see either porn or just some stupid game the boy had been playing.

But none of them expected him to be texting a girl.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: hey u still there?

~~~

"Who's crackhead [Y/N]?," Natasha asked.

Scott turned to Rhodes who was sitting on the side of him. "Is that some trashy porn star?," he whispered.

"Why're you asking me like I know?"

"It's this girl from school.." Peter answered, blushing profusely.

"And you like her," Natasha noted, watching his body language intently.

The boy's eyes widened. "N-no I don't!"

"Why crackhead though?," Rhodey asked, crinkling his nose.

Peter shrugged. "That's what she wanted her name to be," here responded. "Thought it was funny."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Just like you thought 'sci-fi boi' was funny?" Shaking his head, he changed focused. "Guys, are we gonna get back to work or not?"

"Not," Tony answered as he scrolled up all the way to the beginning of the messages from early that morning. "So, you've been texting this girl today off and on since..." He checked the time. "Five in the morning?"

Clint chuckled. "Oh yeah, huge crush."

“No!” Peter protested, his voice an octave too high. Realizing that it isn’t working, he decided to try a different technique. Clearing his throat, he tried to sound and act as nonchalant as possible. “She’s just a friend from school.”

"She's first on your best friends list, even over that computer kid you practically live with. And you and her practically snap each other nonstop."

Peter scratched his nose. "W-well that's only cuz Ned doesn't like to text much."

Bruce took his glasses off and sighed, realizing there was no way this meeting was getting back on topic. "Look Pete," he said. "Friends don't do that. I've seen it all before. If you and this girl are talking on a daily basis all throughout the day starting at five in the morning?" He titled his head in a suggestive way, though Peter stared back at him blankly.

"What?," Peter asked.

"Oh my God, kid," Bruce sighed.

Tony held his head back and laughed. "It means either she likes you and your just too dense, you like her but won't admit it and she's just concerningly nice, or you both like each other and just won't make your moves!"

Sam, who hadn't lifted his eyes from the board the entire time, spoke up. "And judging by these texts, you already got her, it's just not official yet."

Tony kept scrolling. "You two went to winter formal together?"

"Yeah... but as friends," Peter said with a shrug.

Steve cleared his throat loudly, gaining the attention of everyone in the room at once. He looked at Peter who was doing everything here could not to look him in the eye. "Look, as much as I would love to talk about Peter's sad love life, we have a mission-"

"-that will still be there tomorrow, Cap," Bucky finished for him. "C'mon we've been going over this stuff for hours. Let us have this distraction."

Everyone looked to him, Tony feigning a puppy dog expression. Crossing his arms, he left the room. "Fine, but when someone gets hurt because they didn't know where they were supposed to go, don't blame me."

"...literally no one's ever blaming you, man," Sam said.

Suddenly, the screen lit up and F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke. "Sir, Peter Parker has a new message."

Everyone looked to the board. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Scroll down, Mr. Stark. Scroll down!," Peter yelled frantically. "What's she saying?"

Natasha smirked. "And you're sure you don't like her, Peter?"

His face flushed. "Okay fine...I might have a tiny crush-"

"I'm sorry I can't hear you," Tony cut in. "Can you say that agai-"

"-I SAID YEAH I REALLY LIKE THIS GIRL!," Peter finally yelled with his eyes squeezed shut. He kept them closed for about twenty seconds afterwards, afraid of the judging faces he would see if he opened them.

He carefully opened his eyes to see all of the avengers (minus Cap) staring back at him with stupid smiles and smirks on their faces.

"Well, that's all I needed to hear," Tony said. He clapped his hands together. "Okay everybody, first order of business, checking the text. Sam, you're our reader."

"Got it."

"What?," Peter yelled, reaching for his phone. Tony dodged him and gave it to Sam. "Mr. Stark, I can text a girl on my own. I don't need help."

"Nat, you're our timer. Make sure none of the responses take longer than a minute. We don't want the girl to get bored and go on to something else."

"Check."

"Mr. Stark, c'mon-"

"Sam, you explain stuff to lightning head over here if he doesn't understand it. This could be learning moment for ole Shakespeare. Thor, you listen to Sam."

"Right."

"On it."

"Everyone else, you're with me. We gotta find the perfect thing to say to this girl. I've got a feeling this is probably the only chance he's gonna have to get a girl in a long time."

Rhodes, Scott, Clint, Bruce, and Wanda looked to each other and nodded.

"And Pete?"

Peter raised his head. "Yes sir?"

"You know this girl more than anybody here does, so you tell us if what we say is appropriate for her or not."

Peter rolled his eyes and nodded. After all, what's the worst that can happen?

Tony pointed to Sam. "Okay, read it."

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: u going to flash's party on saturday??

~~~

"She wants to know if the kid's going to some party Saturday."

Tony turned to the boy. "You're going," her demanded.

Flash was the most popular douchebag in school. Totally rich and totally rude and totally determined to use his every breath to spite Peter. "I wasn't even invited," Peter mumbled, shooting a glare towards Sam when he heard him laughing.

"Well get invited," Tony ordered. "A party is the perfect place to make a move. Send yes."

~~~

sci-fi boi: yes

~~~

"Mr. Stark, how am I supposed to get into this party? Flash hates me! And if I crash it and Flash sees me, he's gonna make sure everyone thinks I'm a loser!"

Tony rolled his eyes and sighed. "Peter we're trying to help you here. Figure that part out on your own."

Peter sighed, leaning forward in his chair. The last thing he wanted was another assignment, even if it wasn't actually an assignment. On the plus side, he'd get to see you, and maybe have some fun if he actually tried to enjoy himself.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: cool so i guess ill go too

~~~

Rhodey chuckled while shaking his head. "Kid, if you don't ask this chick out the second you see her again, I'm gonna bodyslam you."

Peter frowned. "What do you mean?"

Bruce smiled. "Whether or not she went to the party was depending on if you were going," he pointed out.

"This girl used to be like that with me back in college," Scott said with a shrug. "Thought she liked me. Turned out she just had social anxiety..."

"Yeah you're really not helping this, bugman," Tony said.

"Wait, you guys think [Y/N] actually likes me back?," Peter asked, getting groans and laughs in return.

"Where have you been the last few minutes?," Natasha said.

"We've literally been saying that this entire time," Sam deadpanned.

Peter stared at his feet below the table. If the team was right, and you did actually like him back, then the movie marathon he was planning was the perfect excuse to hang out with you. "I-i think I might have a plan!," he rushed out, his head flying up. He pointed to Sam. "Ask her if she's free tonight!"

"Yes!," Thor yelled, his fists pumped into the air. "The spider child has grown his man balls!"

"Now that's what I'm talking about." Sam nodded approvingly as he texted.

~~~

sci-fi: r u free tonight??😉

~~~

"Wait hold on," Peter said, suddenly rushing towards the phone in a frantic manner. "Why is there a winking emoji?! I didn't say anything about a winking emoji!"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were flirti-"

Peter groaned. "Delete it, man. Delete it before her bitmoji pops up!"

"Okay okay, dang kid," Sam chuckled, quickly deleting the text and replacing it with one without a winking emoji. "There. And ya girl didn't even see it."

"Hey guys," Scott said. "I know we're all freaking out and stuff. But honestly, I'm just glad he wasn't watching porn." He shrugged. "So no matter what happens with this girl, today's still an absolute win."

It went on like this for a solid thirty minutes.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: yeah wassup

sci-fi boi: wanna come over and watch movies?

crackhead [y/n]: sure what're we watching

sci-fi boi: we can decide that when u get here. how about 4??

crackhead [y/n]: alright sure

~~~

"Okay, last thing," Tony said. "We need a sly compliment. Something not that special about her, but enough to show her that you're tuned in. Gets them every time, trust me."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Wow, lady-killer."

Tony pointed towards her and shrugged. "She said it, not me."

Thor looked to Peter. "So, young spider. What have you observed about your darling love?"

Peter blushed, almost wanting to comment on the Thor's word choice but ultimately deciding not to. "Well, um, her eyes light up a lot when she gets excited and it's really dorky in a cute kind of way I guess," he mumbled, scratching his head.

"Alright I got it," Sam said, typing the words in. He lifted his shoulders into a shrug. "Who knows, kid? There be some hope for you."

~~~

sci-fi boi: btw how do you get ur eyes to sparkle so bright when u get happy about stuff? Just thinking about it lol its cute

~~~

Peter blew out a shaky breath as he looked back over the set-up he'd made in the living room.

He'd cleared out space to build a super huge homemade blanket fort and inside it at the end was his tv. Towards the middle were all of pillows he could find inside the house and at the other end were snacks. All around the inside were fairy lights because he knew you liked them, though personally he found them cliche.

He spent about an hour on the whole set and an additional thirty minutes stressing over and making sure everything was safe (with all three fairy lights and tv cords). The last thing he needed was for the both of you to catch on fire while watching the movie.

The two of you were going to be watching Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (or as normal 'not-nerds' like to call it, "the first one"). Of course, he hadn't told the team that. If they'd known what movie he'd planned on showing her, high chances are they wouldn't have even let him out of Avengers tower. But if Peter was gonna be forced to hang out with someone (not that he was really complaining), he would at least pick the film.

Finally checking all the boxes in his head for the night, Peter went to go check the DVD before he heard your knock at the door.

"Coming!," he yelled, quickly chucking the disc into the DVD player. He ran to the door and opened it with an awkward smile. "Uh, hey [Y/N]."

"Hey," you said back, already sort of blushing. "How's it going?"

Peter stared. Are your eyebrows done or are they just naturally that nice? He found his voice after abruptly noticing that he was staring. "Uh-well. It's been going great! How's it going for y-you also as well?" He frowned. "I-i mean, what's been going on with your life lately? No, that's dumb. I meant-"

"Peter, Peter! Calm down, dude," you giggled. "I've been fine."

"Oh," he chuckled. "That's good... d-do you wanna come in?"

"Question. What're we watching, Peter?," you asked, a smile playing on your face. Considering what you remembered from the last time you were at his house, and the fort you could get a peek of from the doorframe, you figured it was special for the nerdy boy. Plus his shirt had Yoda on it.

Freakin' Star Wars.

Immediately, a wide grin spread across his face. "Remember what you promised me we'd watch?"

You rolled your eyes, stepping past him into his living room. "Yeah yeah, whatever. Time to get nerdy I guess."

"Come on, you'll love it,"Peter said, quickly closing the door behind them and then briskly running towards the fort to hold up the side blankets for you. "So, snacks and drinks are beside us. We'll chill on these blankets here. And...um, yeah. That's about it." After stepping outside for a bit to go turn off the lights(for the full "movie theater" experience), Peter laid down on his belly, reaching for the DVD player to press play.

You watched as he fumbled with the wires, making sure the DVD player was plugged in before turning it on. Has your jawline always been that sharp?

You couldn't quite place it, but his texts from before seemed.. weird. But not a bad weird at all. A good, intriguing weird.

And that compliment was pretty nice, but odd for Peter. Sure, he complimented you often, but it just felt different this time. Usually it'd be something like, "new dress?" or "nice shoes". But never "you're eyes sparkle when you get excited." Heck, you didn't even know that about you. Was he paying attention? Did that mean he-

You remember how he acted about Liz Allen and Michelle Jones. Always staring. Never able to even say a full sentence in front of them without stuttering up a storm.

But he was so comfortable about you for the most part. You were just a friend.

"Okay got it," Peter said, laughing excitedly as the screen in front of him lit up. He scooted back to where you were sat. "Prepare to have your mind blown."

The Fort quickly became dark as the Lucasfilm logo shined on the screen.

"I seriously dou-"

"Shhh!," he cut you off. "Wait for it..."

You gave him a look but joined him in his silence to see what he was waiting for.

BUMMMMM buh buh bummmm

Practically jumping on top of him, you flinched at the loud and sudden music. "Crap dude! Turn it down!"

Peter shook his head, reaching for a soda. "You have to get the full effect, [Y/N]!," he laughed. "Just embrace it." He began to sing with the music and mime crazy gestures as if he were directing an orchestra.

Duh duh duh DUH DUHHHHHHHH

Halfway through he stopped and recited the opening crawl, his eyes glued to the screen with a sort of focus that made you sure that not only was this not foreign to him, he probably did this every other week.

"It is a period of civil war," he mumbled, throwing some popcorn into his mouth. "Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic- [Y/N] you have to watch the words, I swear it'll make the whole experience better." It went on for a little while longer until he paused the movie and looked over at you, cowering a bit. "D-do I have something on my face?"

"Huh? Nah you're good," you said, realizing he'd noticed you staring. "It's just-" you remembered his text from earlier. "-you got really excited... It-um..it was cute."

Because of the darkness(the only lighting being from the tv), you couldn't see if Peter blushed or not, but you could clearly see the stupid grin plastered on his face that he was trying to hide from you with his hand. Repeatedly licking his lips as a desperate attempt to stop smiling as he pressed play on the remote control. "A-ah, um, thanks [Y/N]."

The opening crawl was over and soon the movie actually began, showing a huge spaceship.

"That's the imperial star destroyer," Peter whispered, never taking his eyes off the screen. "They belong to the empire." He saw your blank expression, wide eyes as he realized that meant nothing to you. "Uh, the bad guys."

You squinted your eyes at the screen, silently judging the graphics of the energy blasts- space bullets?- or whatever they were supposed to be. "Pete, when was this movie made?"

"1977."

"Oh okay," you said, deciding to give it some leeway for the trash designs.

You scooted a little closer to your friend, figuring you'd get a little bit more comfortable.

Oh how he wished you hadn't done that.

Nothing like actual, physical contact with a girl that you like and you think she might like you back to actually manage to distract you from one of your favorite movies ever.

He froze, not wanting to pull away and offend you, but definitely not wanting to stay because just being this close to you was making his mind run wild.

Does she actually like me back? What if Mr. Stark and the team only said that to get me to make a fool of myself? She's too comfortable with me. She just sees me as a friend. Or maybe she likes me and she's just really chill about it? Ooh my gosh and she's leaning on me right now. What am I 'sposed to do?? I don't know I don't know I don't know!!!!!!!!!

Deciding for a quick compromise, he got up completely to reach for another soda, though his sprite was still half finished. When he sat back down, he wasn't as close. Hopefully, you'd just see it as natural human behaviour and not him wanting to be away from you.

Course you would see it that way, wouldn't you?

"Oh my gosh I recognize someone! That's R2D2, right?!" You pointed wildly, glad to not be completely clueless for once with this nerd crap.

"Yeah that's R2," Peter responded, letting out a secret sigh of relief, thankful for the distraction.

"A-and that's that gold dude!"

"Yeah, C-3PO."

"And oh crap that's Princess Leia!," you shouted. "Fucking feminist icon!"

Peter tilted his head. "Wait, how would you know that if you've never watched this?"

You laughed. "I still have access to the internet, doofus! Scroll down the nerdy feminist side of tumblr and Leia is literally everywhere."

Peter chuckled as he finally finished his sprite. "Okay. Valid."

Since that, you stopped talking for a bit. Part of you actually did figure that since you're here, you might as well actually try to enjoy the movie and maybe find out what the fans actually see in it that makes them like it so much. The other part just really didn't want to annoy Peter while he was watching his favorite movie series.

But sometimes you just have to say something.

"Hold up, wait. Isn't that his sister? Oh my God, Pete I swear somebody told me before that Leia was Luke's twin!"

Peter shrugged while nodding. "Well, that's a bit of a spoiler, but yeah. What about it?"

"Oh my gosh, Pete- what about it?! Dude, he's literally making 'fuck me' eyes at his own sister! He's all like, 'ooh you're so sexy I'm gonna bone you all over the galaxy'. That's freaky!"

You grabbed the remote and began to rewind it.

"C'mon now [Y/N]," he explained. "He didn't call her sexy. He said she was beautiful. Sexy is wayyy different from beautiful. You can think your family members are beautiful can't you?"

You paused it once you got to where you wanted.

"Okay Parker, look at that. Look at that and tell me Lukes's not totally undressing her with his eyes!" You pointed at Peter's face with a goofy smile on yours. "Oh wow, I've finally figured you people out now."

Peter's head cocked to the side. "Figured out what?"

"Star Wars nerds are a bunch of horny kids that like that step-sibling porn stuff but can't watch that in front of their parents so they have to use an alternative!"

Peter fell on his back with laughter, practically rolling around like a pig. "[Y/N], what?!"

You gave him an incredulous look. "Who else likes to see two siblings bang each other, Peter?!"

At that he pointed back at you while picking up his other soda. "To be fair, they never do that with each other. They only kiss, like twice and that's it. And one of them is only to make Han Solo mad."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about the Han Solo guy. Where is he anyway?"

Peter smiled. "Well, we're only twenty mintues in. He'll come soon."

To tell the truth, Peter really didn't even know what part you were at. His eyes were watching the screen but nothing was being comprehended. The only thing he could manage to think about was all the tiny things that were going on over on your side of the fort. Did you notice him staring? Was Tony right and you were just concerningly nice?

"I love how everybody at this bar is so chill south everything that's happening. It's like oh wow this guy just shot this green dude at table 8 and nope we totally don't care," you joked, pulling Peter out of his trance. He reminded himself that he should probably try to pay more attention. He didn't want to ruin the movie for you in case you had any questions.

But eventually, like all things do, the movie came to an end.

"So, how'd you like it?," Peter said while neither one of you made a move to leave the dark fort. You were laid out in practically a starfish-type position while he was sitting Indian-style.

You smirked. "I'll admit, it was pretty nice for a movie made in 1977. Still a bit lame though," you teased, pinching your fingers together with a giggle. Suddenly, you gasped. "Ooh, Vader was pretty lit though! Just straight force-choking people who disagree with you is such a power move."

Peter rolled his eyes and scoffed lightly. "Typical..."

"Excuse me?"

He bit back a quick smile. "Look, I'm not saying that Darth Vader isn't awesome. Because he is! Totally and completely but [Y/N], you do realize that in literally every movie we watch you like the villains?," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Because the villains are awesome!," you defended.

"Just saying. I'm sensing a bit of a pattern...," he teased.

You scoffed. "This coming from the guy who actually feels bad about some the people crashing into things when we're watching Ridiculousness," you said, reminding in how Peter was forever the relentless sap. "Well, while you're so busy judging me, whose your favorite character?"

At that, he gave a small sincere smile. "Ben. He's really cool."

"Ben Kenobi? The old guy that literally let himself die? But why?"

He shrugged, the small grin still present on his face. "Eh, sentimental reasons..."

He watched you return his sweet smile and it was then and there when Peter really felt content with the night. Though, you hadn't even known the weight his words carried, he did. Ned was the only other person who knew about it. But Peter knew right then and there that if you had asked, he'd tell you. And he knew you'd understand. Maybe you were just nice. Or maybe you did like him back. But in that moment, Peter didn't care. He just wanted to be here with you. Lost in the warm smell of popcorn and your vanilla perfume, watching a Star Wars movie with Uncle Ben surely smiling down from Heaven. And it gave Peter hope that maybe, just maybe, this was a step in the right direction.

2 hours (and five minutes) down. 22 hours (and forty seven mintues) to go...

---------------------------------------

Taglist: @underoosjae @spn-assemble-seven @of-your-eyes-begonia-skies @parkerpeter24 , @audreylovespidey706

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