#to go in search of the grail is to be holy and you should want to be holy but god say 'hey! fuck off!' and what now!!!!!!!!!!

[ghoul-haunted]

the problem with bed cozy, hot drink in hand, is that I really want to be drawing lancelot and gawain, like I want to be drawing them SO bad right now, but

weather cold, bed cozy, hot drink in hand

[msfantasy-comics]

The Family Meet and Greet

Damian Wayne x Reader

Request/Summary: Hey hun! I wanted to send in a request for Damian Wayne x reader. Maybe reader being introduced to the family/the family finding out about them?

A/n: Honestly I can’t tell if the picture is Tim or Damian.

Masterlist - Tip Jar

Damian is a pretty private person and doesn’t intend to do an awkward meet and greet with his beloved girlfriend.

He knew that all of his family members would find out one way or another anyway.

Dick Grayson:

It wouldn’t take a genius detective to know that Damian is asking for advice for his love life.

Damian sits in his hero costume, hunched over as his legs dangle over the side of the building. His eyes evade Dicks, a red hue spreading across the tips of his ears.

A soft smile embellishes Dicks lips as he sees his younger brother whom is typically egocentric, now looking timid and shy for the first time ever.

“So my friend started seeing someone recently and he had this dilemma on if he should keep seeing her or not because on one hand he has all this baggage he doesn’t want to burden her with and on the other hand he just can’t bring himself to break things off with her.”

“So this girl your seeing-“ Damian’s eyes bulge, snapping his neck towards Dick, acting too defensively.

“Ugh, are you not listening Grayson? I said it’s about my friend.”

“Right, right, I forgot. My bad…” Dick think’s carefully on his words. “Sounds like your friend is a classic over-thinker. Relationships are far from logical, it’s all based on feelings. It might be hard for your friend, but just enjoy it for what it is.” Damian sits and stares off over the Gotham skyline looking unconvinced. “Look Dames, there is no right answer. Just do what feels right.”

Leaning back into his palms he stares in amusement at his beloved younger brother continues pining in anguish.

“So… how long do we keep pretending that we aren’t talking about you? Can I see a picture?” Damian rolls his eyes with a sigh, sliding his phone out of his pocket, he taps on the screen silently before shoving his phone into Dicks hands.

There laid the image a happy couple. Damian’s arms wrapped around your shoulder. The dark city filtering behind the brightly lit couple, forever captured in permanent laughter.

Dick, initially keen to tease the cheesy photo before him, now silent in pure aw to see the genuine smile, Damian’s eyes lit in adoration.

“Do not tell anyone Grayson. I will share the news when I am ready.”

Tim Drake:

The little rat has been acting rather odd.

Tim tried talking about it to Dick but he just kept evading his questions by pathetically redirecting his attention with someone else’s random drama.

They’re both acting weird and secretive, and there is no way Tim is going to be kept out of such an intriguing mystery.

Usually Tim would just stalk his targets, but this is Damian we are talking about. It is incredibly difficult, if not impossible to track Damian without him noticing. Starting with Damian’s social media, Tim pin points all of the photo locations and begins to visit each site one at a time. He hacks the local cameras and reviews the footage from around the date the photo was uploaded.

Low and behold, footage of Damian smooshing his face into another ladies face….

Whelp, Tim was certainly not expecting to see such a DISGUSTING display of affection. YUCK.

He didn’t even know the rat could even feel those types of feelings.

Tim, now laying on his bed cuddled up to a pillow is looking… traumatised.

Sometimes, it’s better just not to know.

Barbara Gordon

No freaking way.

Barbara could not believe her very eyes.

When completing a Internet background check on the Wayne family to scrub any suspicious allegations or accusations, Babs found the Holy Grail of finds.

An account with a mysterious woman with months worth of photos with the Wayne’s local angsty brat, Damian Freaking Wayne.

When completing a generic photo match search. Lovey, dovey poses with Damian and a girl by the name Y/n flashed up on the screen.

This is juicy! To tell Bruce or not to tell Bruce, that is the question.

Jason Todd

Disgusting. Absolutely foul.

It’s a random Tuesday evening when Jason jumps roof tops only to discover a couple making out all hot and heavy.

Their bodies tangling together as the man rips his shirt off. The girl sliding her hands along his abdomen before landing on his belt buckle.

The man then slides his hands from the back of her neck to her ass, giving it a needy grope before sliding his hands to the back of her thighs, lifting the woman with ease and pressing her against the wall.

This is hilarious, they have no idea Gothams most infamous Vigilante has caught them about to get down and dirty on Gothams roof top.

Jason sat down and ate his figurative pop-corn in humourous delight, until his eyes adjust.

“Ain’t no FUCKING way!” Jason yells, humours delight now churning into a disturbed nausea. He swallowed the bile raising up in his throat.

Pulling out his phone he calls Damian. Panting breaths filter through the phone, only furthering Jason’s disgust.

“What?! I’m in the middle of-“

“I know what your in the middle of you sick bastard! Take it indoors!” The line goes quite for just a moment. “Little freak, your family patrols the roof tops you know, ugh, I can’t - I’m having a flash back to Selina and Bru- ugh I’m gonna vomit.”

Duke

“Finally!” Duke announces, hoping over the back of the couch and sprawling out on the soft cushions of the plush couch. Without a second to spare Duke switches the TV on to watch the latest episode of his favourite show.

“Thomas-“

“No talking!” Duke wholesomely announces, crossing his arms over his chest.

“My phone… forget it.” Damian grumbles, seeing Dukes eyes glued to the TV. Squishing further into the cushions, Duke feels the uncomfortable poke of a hard object pressing into his rib.

Wrenching the wretched object from its place, Duke holds a phone. His haphazard fingers pressing into the screen which lights up and shows the text of a person named Y/n.

Y/n: Can’t wait for our date tonight, I miss your handsome face xx

Dukes cheeks heats up, seeing a private message he shouldn’t have seen. Damian is incredibly private and may murder Duke for accidentally learning something he wasn’t suppose to.

Wiping any evidence of his fingers touching the phone Duke places the phone back between the cushions.

Best if he just abandons his show for now for a tactical retreat.

Bruce Wayne

God, why are his kids so weird?

Seriously? Out of all 20 of them, not a single one was normal…

Sitting at the head of the dinner table, he watches his children talk amoungst themselves in weird cryptic speeches.

“Do you know what I know?” Tim asks intensely, the broccoli wedged on his fork, pointing at Dick, who stares back wide-eyed.

“I don’t know anything … why what do you know?” Dick says scanning the rest of the room to see if they somehow knew what Dick was referring to.

“I can’t share what I know, but just know it. Is. Juicy.” Babs announces with a sly and taunting grin.

“I don’t know anything, I didn’t even want to see it. Oh god, I’m feeling queasy.” Jason says crossing his arms over his stomach.

“IDidntSeeAnythingEither.” Duke announces quickly, and begins to quickly Hoover his dinner.

Damian sighs, massaging his temples at his idiotic siblings.

“So I take it that you have all found out about Y/n?” Bruce asks calmly, slowly sawing into the plump steak on his plate.

The room falls dead silent as all heads turn towards Bruce, surprised that he knew and surprised that he had the guts to say what everyone else was thinking.

“Father, how do you know about Y/n?”

“… I’m Batman.”

[1d1195]

Most III

Read Most here | ~ 6.1k words

From me: I might be changing this from 5 parts to 6 parts 🎉 I wanted to get further in this section, but felt like a good place to stop as well.

Warnings: I think this part is more fluffy than the last couple, but of course there's some angsty stuff hiding in here too.

Summary: There are about 200 question Harry wants answered. But he can barely ask one because she's home. She's got a lot of worries. But maybe most pressingly, is finding out if Harry's moved on.

*Six Weeks Earlier*

Addie and Carter were arguing over the inconsistencies of the movie they were watching with what was recorded in history. Addie was obviously winning. But she thought Carter just liked to see her riled up, like to have her argue just a little because she got so excited when she did. She was so passionate, and it made Carter’s face glaze over as she showed off her expertise.

As they quietly bickered on the sofa, she was at their little kitchen table.

She was looking at apartments for rent near her mom because Addie was probably holding out on asking Carter to move in solely because of her. There weren’t a ton of options—no real surprise on her end. She didn’t want to live in the same town as her school as she thought of post-graduation and how it would be flooded with students, and she thought that parties outside her apartment wouldn’t be conducive to writing the next best-selling romance novel. (If she could muster the strength to go through such a feat.)

Her quest brought her to another search engine, and it seemed as if it was the holy grail. Reasonable rent, new building, new appliances, semi-walkable—it seemed too good to be true.

It was. Truly.

There was one issue. But only one. Her browser’s location services were majorly off course—the last time she visited the website must have stored her old info. Back when she thought she was going to have to find a place of her own because her mom was going to move away, and she was going to need a way to stay close to Harry.

The location was the life and town she left behind were part of the new building’s address. Her email pinged with a message regarding her schedule for the semester. All online classes so she could focus on working and writing as much as possible.

For a second, she forgot. Forgot all about her heartache and the pain she probably caused. He was probably over it by then. She hadn’t forgotten, but she figured three years later, he must have. But there was this pull on her chest to call him. To tell him about the place. Hi baby! I found a place for us to live. Do you like it?

With a shake of her head, she pulled herself out of it and examined the floorplan.

Addie and Carter were still debating. “—The American Revolution is constantly blown out of proportion,” she told him knowingly.

It pained her to interrupt, but it was now or never. “Do you guys think I should still jump?” She asked quietly. They both turned to her. Tilted their heads in curiosity. Almost simultaneously. Carter turned away first, pausing their movie and Addie was already crossing the room to look over her shoulder.

“Oh,” she blinked. “Oh,” she looked at the address for the apartment building. “You... you want to go back?”

Carter followed over and smiled, sat next to her, squeezed her arm. “That’s awesome,” he smiled. “Of course we—”

“What about your classes?” Addie frowned. “We’re supposed to have a year.”

���Well, I can’t keep living here when you’re days away from asking Carter to move in,” she rolled her eyes. Carter chuckled.

“I’d pick you over him,” Addie grumbled.

“Hey!”

“Oh please,” she laughed shaking her head. “I would never make you make that choice... don’t you want to have weird shower sex without me around?”

Carter smirked, his cheeks turning red slightly as he looked at Addie knowingly. “Told you that you were too loud,” he winked, kissed her cheek, and headed to the kitchen to start something for dinner.

Addie glared at him for implying it was her fault. Then she stage-whispered. “He does this thing where he turns me so that the angle—”

“Addison.”

The girls giggled. Then she turned to her laptop again. “My schedule just came through. My classes are online... there’s no apartments by my mom or aunt...” she swallowed feeling the anxiety creep up from her stomach. It moved to her chest, then her throat making her voice quiet. “I just think... if I go now... and I see that he’s moved on then I can... I can too. A reset.”

Addie stared at someone who was sure to be one of the most beautifully talented, insanely intelligent, and incrediblysuccessful authors of the 21st century. She was so honored to have her in her life and be her best friend.

Even if she was an idiot. “You really think he would have moved on?” She wondered.

She shrugged, hovered her mouse over the link to apply for the apartment. “Wouldn’t you?”

There was a pause as Addie watched her. “I’m going to run to get some ingredients,” Carter said tugging Addie toward him for a swift kiss. He grabbed his keys off the counter, then kissed the top of her hair as well. It made her blush because quite frankly, other than flirting at the restaurant, she hadn’t had physical male affection in years and even Carter’s assuring hand squeezes made her a bit flushed at times.

There was nothing at the store; he didn’t need ingredients. She and Addie had gone shopping the day before for all the food they could ever want (at least for the week). But Carter was perfect, and he knew when they needed their girl time.

Addie took the notebook that resided at the end of their faux-dinner table. She kept it there for inspiration. She never knew when the mood would strike to write something and since her best writing was often done at the table—be it essays, some of her favorite ideas, or just a grocery list where her handwriting looked nice—she liked to have something to work from when she was stuck for a thought. Addie lifted the cover slowly. Her heart took off, terrified of someone else seeing her most personal thoughts. But instead, she stayed silent, and Addie pointed to the inside cover.

A heart with her name and Harry’s written in the center took up majority of the space.

“When’s this notebook from?”

A brief pause as she tried to date it from visual and handwriting. There were so many notebooks she owned it took a moment to figure out which was which. “I was... ten,” she swallowed.

Addie nodded and went to the coffee table. She removed a cup of tea off the cover, a few hundred rings lined the blue cover as if it were truly a coaster and not one of the notebooks that would be in a museum about her famed author-life hundreds of years from now. “When’s this one from?” She asked and held out the nearly identical inside cover—another heart bearing two names.

She didn’t need much time to identify this one—it truly was her favorite. The evidence and words that reflected the first time Harry told her he loved her were written within the pages. “Sixteen.”

Then she went to the bookshelf tucked in the corner of their main room. This notebook was wedged between copies of novels she refused to part with, even though they hadn’t been read in years and they weren’t necessarily her favorites, but they were a part of her love of writing and books throughout school and home: Of Mice and Men; Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry; Perks of Being a Wallflower; The Kite Runner. Books she didn’t think of as romances but books that made her feel. The purpose of the notebook that resided among those titles was to remember those feelings even if they were painful. “This one?” She wondered.

“Eight,” she whispered. She started that one when she read her first Babysitter’s Club novel. “But I wrote in it last week too,” after she finished Where the Crawdads Sing.

There on the inside cover was the same heart and same names as every other notebook.

“What about the one on your nightstand, for your dreams?” Addie asked.

She blinked, looked at her lap. Twenty-one... I bought it last week when I filled up the one before it that I used for dreams. I liked the green and gold pattern. It reminded me of his eyes. But Addie already knew all that. There was a picture of Harry on her fridge. The two of them on his final day of school, her arm around his waist and his draped around her shoulders. They were just kids there. Unknowing that a year later she would break both their hearts. Sometimes she looked at that picture and wondered what it would be like if she didn’t leave. Maybe she would still be in the very same spot. Because Harry would have grown tired of her and their hum-drum life.

“I know I didn’t move on, though, Addie.”

“He didn’t either,” Addie put her notebook back safely between The Princess Bride and My Antonia.

“Addie... you don’t know him.”

“You don’t write fifteen notebooks worth of love poems about a man that doesn’t love you even half as much. Even if he loved you an eighth the amount that you loved him, you would still have the greatest love story ever,” Addie was confident. Watched her friend wordlessly as she processed all that.

After several more seconds of silence, she finally answered her. “Twenty-seven,” she mumbled.

Addie stared at her in awe. She loved Carter, but truly, her best friend had the greatest love story she had ever heard. “Yeah, exactly.”

Her attention went back to the available apartments. She frowned as she looked at the screen. “They’re all fifth floor,” she closed her eyes. It seemed like an obstacle set out to change her mind. “Maybe I shouldn’t do it.”

Addie was back at the table and pushing her hands out of the way. “So you don’t go on the balcony. It’ll be fine. You’re not going to live there so you can lounge and sightsee the view, anyway. You’re going so you can go back to him,” she reminded her. Not quite ignoring her fears but making sure they didn’t hold her back. Addie clicked the link for the first apartment and began typing in her information as if it were her own; she wrote that she was ready to move in within a month. “What if he hasn’t moved on? What are you going to do if you’re wrong and I’m right?”

It seemed impossible. Harry was beautiful, loving, so kind. Perfect. Why wouldn’t he have moved on?

There was this little flutter in her chest. It felt the way birthday candles flickered when everyone was singing, and the cake was brought to sit before the guest of honor. She grabbed the book at the end of the table and jotted a note down about how hope was often described as a flicker of light in the dark. When all seemed lost. But no one ever mentioned how darkness often came right after a birthday wish. How hope was really nothing more than a flameless candle.

Because of what she just wrote, she blew out a deep breath. “I hope you’re right,” she whispered as she closed the notebook again hoping her wish would come true.

*Present*

It felt like he couldn’t get back to the station fast enough. He left his coffee behind in the truck; only two sips taken from it. But it turned out it couldn’t compare to the adrenaline he felt then. He left his wallet behind in his locker. That didn’t matter, either. He didn’t need it.

Nothing else mattered.

He barely said goodbye to anyone and left his coworker to tell the rest of the shift why he was rushing to get out of the station. Normally, he took off his uniform before leaving but the thought of not seeing her, or that she was already gone had him sprinting to his car in the lot. Instead of his change of clothes he remained in his standard-issued navy-blue pants and the flame-resistant boots. Fortunately, he chose the station’s T-shirt and not the more formal button down for the day. It was the smallest bit more comfortable and slightly less ridiculous to be out and about.

Maybe she was just a figment of my imagination. He thought to himself. But his partner saw her. So unless he was projecting said figment...

She really was home.

To further his torture, his car and flow of traffic refused to go faster than the speed limit. It was utterly infuriating for his cause. He wanted nothing more than to just be there beside her. Nonetheless, he returned to where he last saw her car; turned right onto the street at the light and drove until something looked like she could be there. His heart was racing faster than it had in years. Adrenaline and excitement rushing through his body, making him sweat with anxiety. But it felt good. Like it was the best thing. It felt like he had just finished running. It was pure joy.

She was home.

There was an apartment building that seemed entirely too tall for their town. But he pulled into the lot wondering if he could identify the car that he saw on the road. He pulled into the spot beside it once he saw it, his heart in his throat. Harry took a deep breath, closed his eyes and tried not to panic. Scaring her off was his worst fear and if he did so, he might lose his mind worse than he ever had.

There was a metallic sound that hit his ears as he opened the door. Like the way a garage door opened. By the end of the lot was a storage pod, door open, and the sight of her from behind. Harry thought he was going to cry but he swallowed the emotion down. Slowly, he walked over, still terrified to scare her.

She disappeared deeper into the pod, and he heard a crunching, scraping sound. As he approached, he realized she was trying to maneuver a loveseat sofa out of a truck all by herself. There was a small dolly on the ground outside the storage pod entrance and Harry wondered if she seriously intended on lifting all the heavy stuff on her own like this.

“Fuck,” she hissed. The end of the sofa she was holding simultaneously dropped to the floor of the truck. “Stupid fucking—”

“Are you okay?” Harry asked instinctively. He went right into the storage pod as if he was moving in alongside her and was joining her because he had stepped out to grab something from his car and was just returning. It wasn’t the grand reunion he had planned, but to be fair, he hadn’t really thought about this moment in a long time.

Even the way her voice sounded when she cursed was sweeter than he could have imagined. She stuck her finger between her lips due to whatever injury she had inflicted upon herself. She shook her head with irritation. “I swear I’m a magnet for those stupid staples they put on the fabric and frame,” she inspected her finger and then pinched it into her hand. Effortlessly, he grabbed her hand. Like he hadn’t missed a day of touching her. He cupped her hand in his, inspected her finger himself. “This is like the tenth time this has happened to me.”

“I think y’need a new couch then, kitten,” he chuckled. It wasn’t his intention to just fall back into the way it was before she left. But it was without thinking—instinctive and natural. It made her heart ache to hear her pet-name from his lips. She sighed and gently tugged her hand from Harry’s and shook her hand, ridding herself of the minor pain. Harry turned and looked at the variety of furniture within the storage pod. Given he had been to her house no less than one million times, he recognized the couch he had also grown up with. The coffee table that they put their feet on when they watched movies. The table in her kitchen where he had so many dinners with her, he couldn’t count it. “Y’mum coming back?” He murmured terrified to hear the answer but desperate to know why he was seeing her in the flesh after all the years between them.

She shook her head. “No... she’s living closer to my aunt now in this tiny one-bedroom place. So, she had a ton of extra furniture. This is all hers. I’m just picking what I like best.”

His heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest and jump into hers and live there, the way it was supposed to for all this time. “Y’moving back?” He tried to keep his voice even, so it didn’t sound so hopeful in case he was wrong. But he hoped. He hoped so badly.

“Yeah,” his heart swelled as she nodded shyly. But then her face contorted into a strange expression. Harry tried to place it but he hadn’t ever seen it on her face. Especially not in front of him. Was it...anxiety? About him? That seemed wrong. “Um... if that’s okay?” She asked looking at the ground briefly before gazing back at him.

Why she was asking didn’t bother him nearly as much as it should have. How she could possibly think he was going to decide such a fate was beyond him. But he was immediate in his answer; anything to get rid of the weird expression on her face that made him realize she was thinking about how she needed permission to live in the same town again. He nodded quickly. “’Course!” He almost shouted it. Cleared his throat awkwardly. “I mean... s’not my decision really... but... It’ll be... nice t’have y’back,” he was so worried he was going to scare her off. He was glad he wasn’t holding her hand any longer because he was sure his hands were sweating something fierce.

“Yeah? That’s good. I’m...” she took a deep breath. “I’m really glad I’m back,” she looked at him with those beautiful eyes that he loved more than anything. That gentle smile that made his heart race.

“Good,” he murmured because if he said anything more, he was worried he would cry or ruin whatever moment of bliss this was. She was real and in front of him.

“Can I help y’move this?” He asked.

“Absolutely not,” she shook her head.

He frowned and tilted his head at her. “You are obviously getting off work and I have made you do way too many furniture moves over the years and I don’t think it would be—”

Harry pulled his phone from his pocket and sent a message to his group chat with their friends. “The rest will be here in a bit.”

“No, they’re not,” she looked alarmed. “Harry, you’re joking.”

“Y’know them, kitten. They’re going t’be so excited—”

“Harry, they hate me.”

They didn’t have a lot of time alone. Harry gave them a forty-five-minute window to themselves. It wasn’t much, but he didn’t want to overwhelm her.

Professing his undying love for her after their time apart and begging for her back... he was hoping he wouldn’t manage that in forty-five minutes.

But the idea that anyone could hate her, when he was so completely, wholly, unbelievably in love with her even after three years of not speaking and nothing but memories replaying in his head... “They don’t hate you.” She looked at him nervously, like when they joined a lake party and people pressured her to jump off the plateau leading to the water. “Kitten,” he shook his head. “They missed you. They’ll be thrilled to see you.” She shrugged, unbelieving. “I promise,” he assured her and began distracting the pair of them before he said something ridiculous (even though I love you was so close to the tip of his tongue, it was absurd).

Harry took the end of the sofa that had snagged her finger. “Can y’jus’ guide it for me, kitten?” He asked. She nodded and helped get it off and onto the dolly. It was something small, but an effortless reminder that they worked so well together. They barely spoke, practically reading the other’s mind after all this time as they maneuvered the couch out of the storage pod. Once on the dolly, they made their way for the building in silence. “Elevator?” Harry asked. She nodded, continuing the comfortable quietness. “What floor?” He asked.

“Fifth,” she wrinkled her nose in distaste.

His eyebrows rose in surprise. It felt like a hug that she hadn’t got from him in a long time. The feeling that he remembered something about her. Which was ridiculous—she remembered everything about him. “Y’didn’t ask for a lower floor?” He pouted.

“There were none,” she frowned.

“M’surprised y’agreed.”

“It’s a new apartment building,” she shrugged and shook her head. She felt like an idiot for saying that to him. He probably knew it was a new building. Probably did the safety inspection himself. “Anyway, there weren’t many options around here...” It took every bit of Harry’s crumbling restraint to not invite her to move in with him right then.

He missed her. That went without saying. Worried he would still say something outlandish, likea marriage proposal, he broached a different topic. “How... how was school?”

“Really good. But I only have a semester left because I took all the summer courses,” she explained. “They’re virtual and I... I really missed it here... so I figured... I figured it was time.”

His heart leapt. Praying that he was one of the things she missed but desperately clung to his semblance of coolness. “Miss Smarty Pants,” he murmured with a smile. Then she laughed. Harry thought he was cured. All that time between them was nothing. She laughed, she smiled. She was his best friend. She seemed older, more mature, and somehow more gorgeous than he could have ever imagined. In fact, she was so pretty he felt his mouth move before he could think about it.

“Y’look beautiful,” he couldn’t help but say it as they got to the floor and she gestured down the hall for her apartment.

“That’s very sweet. I lost a lot of weight running around campus and work without a car,” she admitted. “Well... enough weight to...”

Harry sighed, shook his head. Wishing he could squeeze the insecurity out of her like a wet sponge. “Your weight has never had anything t’do with why y’were beautiful, kitten.”

The way her cheeks turned pink made him feel sick. Didn’t people compliment her while she was gone?

Fortunately, he didn’t have to suffer thinking about her lack of compliments for long. “You look great, Harry. But you always did. It was incredible seeing you on the firetruck,” she smiled fondly. “I’m... I’m really proud of you.”

The very pride she felt went directly to his heart, swelled in his chest, and bloomed warmth all through his body. Once more he tried to feign his excitement and overwhelming urge to wrap her in a hug he decided to distract himself. “Where do y’want it?” She took a deep breath and shrugged.

“I don’t know... maybe... against this wall for now, I can move it later.”

“Don’t hurt yourself, love,” he frowned as he settled it into position. He was already worried about how he would manage to invite himself back into her apartment to prevent any self-injury—especially from the staples in her furniture.

“I won’t,” she promised. “I was... going to have Lauren come by once I get settled a little bit. She could help.”

“S’nice. I see Lauren a lot at the coffee shop. M’sure she’ll be happy to see you,” he smiled sweetly.

With the sofa in place, it felt the slightest bit awkward. She worried she would do something insane, like kiss him and put her arms around him like she was his necklace. So instead, she thanked him. “Thank you,” she sighed. “For helping.”

“Of course, love. M’happy to see you. S’been...” he trailed off and shook his head. “Where’s the rest of your stuff?” He asked curiously. He also asked so he wouldn’t continue the end of his sentence about having not seen her in ages.

“Ugh,” she groaned and rubbed her hands over her face. “My storage unit is delayed naturally. There was a mix-up and it’s on it’s way cross country currently, no way to stop it so it’ll be...” she shook her head. “Ages. Until I see it. Fortunately, I have a good chunk in my car... but all my books, shelves, a ton of stuff I’ve collected since college. I don’t even have a glass to offer you a water,” she pouted.

He chuckled. “Oh... s’okay. M’fine, kitten.”

“It’s the principle of the thing, Harry.”

He smiled and looked around again. “S’nice here. The balcony is pretty.”

“I guess... but I don’t plan on going on the balcony unless necessary... this fear of mine is ridiculous. Can’t even enjoy all 804 square feet of it.” She glanced out the door to the balcony. “I don’t think we ever had a building this tall around here. The view, from what I can see, is so pretty. A new way of seeing our pretty little town like this.”

Harry’s heart fluttered erratically over the way she said we and our. But he tried not to panic and instead made himself useful. “Do y’want t’go out there t’get a better look?”

She shook her head. “No way. I’ll probably hyperventilate or throw up or something equally embarrassing.”

He snorted, smiling easily. “I’ve seen you throw up before,” he reminded her.

“I’m well aware, Harry,” she groaned. “That was so gross. Literally the worst. I don’t know why you stayed.”

“I agree it was the worst, but because I thought y’were dying. Not because y’were gross or anything,” he shrugged. “C’mon, I’ll show you,” he moved next to her at the window and unlocked the slider, pushed it out of the way. She watched him step over the little threshold and held his hand out to her.

It was the reason she couldn’t go on a roller coaster by herself or jump off the rope swing at the lake like all their friends did in school. She couldn’t help her mom hang up Christmas lights on the house and always paid Harry to do it for her. Her fear of heights felt irrational. Only a small percentage feared it. Harry was always quick to remind her that the small percentage still accumulated to hundreds of millions of people.

But even still, he held his hand out, waiting patiently and expectantly. Somehow, it was the easiest thing in the world to trust him. The feeling was electric, holding his hand. It was as if no time had passed at all. As if she had said ‘see you tomorrow’ instead of, ‘it’s too far for us.’

He squeezed her hand as she took cautious steps onto the balcony. A measly hand hold. Harry had touched and kissed parts of her that would never see a drop of sunlight but somehow the way he held her hand was more intimate. His palm pressed to hers, warm and familiar. His thumb stroked the back of her hand. It was perfect. It was slow and felt so safe. It was unreal how easily it was to revert to the time before. Harry was there, so she was going to be okay.

“Watch y’step,” he said softly. “S’a little uneven there,” he scuffed his shoe on the floor. “S’probably a support beam,” he explained. She nodded.

“I’ll have to put a little patio rug out here and a table and chairs so no one trips.”

“That sounds so cute. Can y’put a grill out here?”

“A grill?”

“I don’t know. I was thinking about that pound cake bread y’like with the strawberries? Or jus’ marshmallows.”

She smiled eager to hear more about what he remembered and what came to mind so readily. “Uh... I have to read the lease agreement. I’m not sure. Probably a fire hazard. Wouldn’t want you rushing down here because of me,” she giggled.

He smiled and squeezed her hand. He glanced back over the railing and admired the view for a moment. “M’not sure about the whole town, but a good chunk of it.”

“Is that the fire station way back that way,” she pointed and then put her free hand on the railing. Harry stood beside her, following the direction of where she pointed, proud that she was able to stand there without fear it seemed. It made him happy she still felt safe with him. “Yeah, I think so... Mum’s house is...” he pointed the other way. “Y’see the blue house? Four streets back from that.”

“Cool,” she grinned. “Do you live with her still?”

He chuckled. “No... I live...” he squinted a bit and pointed back towards the fire station. “You see the shopping plaza?” He asked. She nodded. “Two streets behind it. The small one.”

“It’s cute... I think,” she giggled again which made Harry chuckle quietly. “I like the trees.”

“I want t’put a hammock in and—” he released her hand to speak and gesture what his plan was with two of the trees in his yard. But she gasped the second he released her hand. Nearly tripped as she stumbled back away from the railing. Harry caught her around the waist before she could fall on the uneven ground. “Hey, careful—”

“Don’t let go,” she reminded him turning toward him slightly but trying to maintain as much distance as she could; given he was holding her around the waist, and she refused to let go. It wouldn’t be fair to him to get too cozy in his arms the way she would have a few years prior.

“Oh,” he swallowed. His heart raced with nerves and anxiety. Part of him felt shame for not realizing what that would do to her. He should have known. He knew how nervous she got about heights. Especially from the level they were on. “M’sorry, kitten.”

She swallowed; her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. “No, I’m sorry. I was just... I don’t—”

“No, s’okay,” he promised. “I won’t let go,” he assured her and took her hand again (even though he would have preferred to have her stay in his embrace). “I wasn’t thinking.”

She bit the inside of her lip. “It’s not your fault.”

“No, but m’sorry. Didn’t mean t’scare you, love.”

Harry was way too nice. If he was smart, he would have pushed her off the side of the balcony for making him so sad the last few years. “It’s really okay, Harry. I know you didn’t—”

“But I should have—”

“Harry,” she squeezed his hand silencing his sentence. “You don’t need to apologize. I promise. I’m just nervous, you know.”

It was quiet and Harry sighed. “Yeah, I know.”

They could have stayed on that balcony for the rest of their lives if it meant Harry was going to hold her hand and they would stay rooted in that spot. They were silent and watched their not-so-little town, filled with bustling cars and people. “It feels bigger,” she whispered.

“Well, y’did go t’a school with the population of sixteen people and a moose.” The laughter that came from her mouth was like pure magic. Harry swore he never heard anything sound so sweet.

Once they both stopped giggling, she wanted to know more about his hammock and what he planned to do with his yard and other things. She wanted to hear about his career and school and everything in between. As she was about to ask, Harry saw the cars pull into the lot.

Sarah and Eleanor in one vehicle, the boys in the other. “C’mon,” he murmured and pulled her back inside. Silently, they made their way down in the elevator to the parking lot once more. The five of them were grouped together near the back of the two cars, huddled together conferring.

“I bet it’s a creepy shrine. Like he’s going to do a séance to get in touch with her,” Louis suggested.

“She’s not dead, Louis,” Eleanor rolled her eyes. “I’m just worried that he’s finally gone off the deep end,” she frowned.

“Well, it can’t be worse than him asking Lauren where she is all the time,” Sarah grumbled bitterly. Mitch put a hand on her back and gently rubbed the bitter tension from her muscles soothingly.

“Who knows, but he asked for us to bring him pizza, so that’s a good sign, right?” Niall asked.

“They’re going to hate me,” she whispered under her breath as they approached quietly.

“Shh,” he squeezed her hand.

“Can I just say that I’m really worried we’re going to have to call the authorities about him?” Louis asked releasing a massive breath, like it was painful to say the words out loud.

“No, I was thinking the same thing,” Sarah nodded in agreement. “It’s right around the time she left and you know how he gets—”

“The first year was the worst,” Mitch reminded everyone.

“You guys really thought I would text you and tell y’where t’find m’body?” Harry asked. They all turned to the pair of them. Their words disappeared into the air. Silence spread between all of them.

“Holy shit,” Louis whispered.

“Pretty weird of him to ask you to bring pizza if that were the case,” she swallowed nervously. For her whole life these people were her best friends and she abandoned them as much as she abandoned Harry, their town, and everything that was good. She looked at the five pairs of eyes that were unblinking as they processed what was happening.

Niall dropped the pizza. “Oh my God,” he was first. He broke into a quick stride and wrapped his arms around her the way Harry dreamed of doing for the last forty-five minutes. He kissed the side of her head and Harry was just so overwhelmed with jealousy he tried to focus his attention on anything but the way he felt utter dread seeing Niall hold and kiss her the way he had ached to do so for the last three years. “How are you, princess?” He asked.

“I’m okay, how are you?”

“Out of the way!” Eleanor hip-checked Niall before he could answer and wrapped her arms around her the same way that Niall had. Further fueling how jealous Harry was. “Make yourself useful, Niall. Order more pizza!”

“I don’t even have plates or enough seats to have you all in and—”

“Did you think we would get all fancy?” Sarah asked and gently pushed Eleanor aside to get her own hug. “We’ll sit on the floor and eat off the boxes.” Mitch was next and murmured something in her ear that Harry wanted to know desperately, solely because her cheeks turned that pretty shade of pink so much.

Louis was last. Because as hurt as Harry was, Louis was a close second. All of them mourned for their friend in their own ways—even though she wasn’t truly gone. But naturally they put their own grief aside for Harry. But she was back now. Sure, Harry was ready to forgive her instantly, but Louis would be a harder sell it seemed. “Hi,” she whispered. Louis looked at her pensively, making her gulp.

“Hi,” his voice was curt and filled with distrust.

She looked at the ground. “Pretty crazy about Messi, hmm?” She looked back up at him.

“Don’t tempt me, darling,” he grumbled and finally pulled her into a hug. He kissed the side of her face and held her for a long time. Louis also whispered something in her ear, and she nodded against him.

“Well,” Eleanor clapped her hands together. “I was wondering why Harry said we needed to wear comfy clothes. Point us in the right direction, babe. Let’s get you moved back home.”

“You okay?” Sarah asked quietly, taking up the rear with Harry as they moved toward her storage pod. Peppering her with questions and falling back into old jokes and laughter within seconds.

Harry nodded, his heart finally started to feel whole. “Yeah," she turned back and met his gaze with a gentle smile. A smile that made him melt and feel like he could fly if she asked. "Finally.”

--

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @justlemmeadoreyou @sunshinemoonsposts @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach

@straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals

@angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams

@summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use @perfectywrong @foreverxholland

@lovrave @st-ev-ie @pandeebearstyles @toosarcastic03 @luvonstyles

@tenaciousperfectionunknown @classychalamet @love-letters-to-uranus @emmaawbr @crossyourpeter

@kissitnhekitchen @kittenhere @stylesfever @indierockgirrl @michellekstyles

@just-another-reader1098 @hermionelove @tiredinwinter @whimsy-willows @hannah9921

@fangirl7060 @triski73 @vikiii07 @prettygurl-2009 @madstyles3204

@angeldavis777

most: @harryspirate

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist here

[a-leg-without-fear]

Entre, Rouge🩸🔥

this is very silly

Ship: Logan Howlett x Mutant!Fem!Reader 🩸

Rating: 18+

Wordcount: 666

Warnings: story is told from Wade's perspective. need i say more?

Phew!

Okay, that last Wolverine didn’t quite work out. Several stab wounds in the shape of adamantium kebabs aside, I just wasn’t a fan of his vibe. The puffy hair, the leather ensemble, and the missing hand? No thank you. I’d like an intact Wolverine with access to a shower and a hairbrush to help repair my universe.

I sat on the log I once shared with the extremely-departed Logan. Lots of blood and guts spilled everywhere, pieces of TVA agents and metal bones strewn about the snow, thick snowflakes falling through the naked trees and onto my illustrious red suit.

Oh, I should probably introduce myself.

The name’s Wilson. 

Wade Wilson. 

Wade Winston Wilson. 

Doctor… Esquire. 

Also known as the ever sexy and permanently alive Deadpool. Sure, I look like the gum-covered underside of a highschool desk, but it doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop in my quest to fix my universe and save my friends. Like Lancelot and his Holy Grail, I’m going to find a Logan and shove him into my timeline until he fits. Or do whatever happens in that story.

The little dimension doohickey I nabbed from discount Mr.Darcy sat in my gloved hand. Lots of retro graphics and shiny buttons made it look like a flip phone, but fancier. I was scrolling through universes to try and find my next target.

“420? No, I don’t think I want pothead Logan. 69? Now that’s just too obvious,” I muttered with a laugh while flipping through universes. The numbers scrolled by like etch-a-sketched fruit in a slot machine. Except without the pants-tightening excitement of winning a jackpot.

My yearning for walking through rows of old geezers sitting in their own piss puddles while mindlessly playing the slots was overtaken by a fascination in the universe that filled the screen. Confetti exploded in my head like an edged bottom who’d held out as long as he could.

“Bingo!” I said, jumping up from my spot on the crumbling log. My fabulous boots made a nice crunching sound as I walked through blood-stained snow.

Earth-80085.

The Legiverse.

A universe filled to the brim with horror, trauma, copious sex scenes, and hyperfixations switching faster than Nosferatu fiddling with his light switch. You know the one.

I jammed the “go” button on the doohickey and a huge portal appeared in front of me. Orange, glowey, translucent, door shaped. Kinda looked like jello if you squinted.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” I asked myself, naïvely, “I’ll get burst like a blood-filled water balloon by Leg’s OC of the week? Nah, she wouldn’t do me like that.”

Taking in one last chilly breath of determination, I skipped through the portal.

What I was not expecting to step into was a bedroom.

Pale green curtains blocking out any sunlight, wooden walls with cutesy pictures, cat towers and toys scattered on the carpeted floor. And…

Is that… moaning?

My head whipped in the direction of that delicious sound. Rumpled and soaked sheets, wooden headboard slamming into the wall behind it, bed creaking under the rapid movement.

And there, tangled together in the way God definitely didn’t intend, were you and Logan. Him driving into you, toned abs flexing with each thrust and fluffy hair bouncing, with you squirming and moaning beneath him. Logan’s rough hands felt along your lucky hips.

“Damn,” I whispered. Why did you get to have all the fun? Can’t I get a little Lo-Lo action?

I hung my head, disappointed, as I pressed the “leave” button on the doohickey. It wasn’t fair! Readers get to fuck whoever they want, however they want, whenever they want. They even fuck me on a regular basis! And where does that leave poor Deadpool? Either in another fanfiction or taking care of myself the ol’ fashioned way.

Ignoring the growing discomfort in my rather-flattering pants, I stepped back through the stupid doorway to continue my search.

Why are all the good ones fucking, crucified, killing me, or Henry Cavill?

i got drunk and watched the third "night at the museum." this popped in my head while watching hugh be a silly man

[drconstellation]

Once and Future Royalty

Just, stay with me on this one. I know its going to look crazy at the start, but trust me, I know where I'm going.

It all started with the 537AD scene in Wessex in the opening montage of "Hard Times," S1E3. Yeah, the one where Aziraphale is supposed to be a knight of the Round Table and Crowley is role-playing the Black Knight, and they are both so super-squeaky shiny clean - not a speck of dirt or mud on them. wtf! It looks out of place, unrealistic, and was bugging the crap out of me, like a stone in your shoe. It just didn't fit. I mean, why put a myth, a legend, into that sequence? Oh, OK, yeah, the preceding stories from the Bible, like the Garden of Eden and the Flood, aren't "myths" as well, you say? Hmm. In the context of the Good Omens AU, being a biblical based story, they belong there far more than the legend of King Arthur.

King Arthur, who supposedly united Britain under his rule during the late 5th century and early 6th century, was shown to have the divine right to rule by wielding the mighty sword Excalibur. Some stories tell of Arthur pulling Excalibur from a stone. Some tell of him receiving Excalibur from the Lady of the Lake. Either way, it was bestowed upon him by divine grace. Despite his triumph in battle, he left no heirs, as his queen, the fair Guinevere, was barren. She had a long-running love affair with the greatest knight of the court, Sir Lancelot, but despite this being an open secret in court Arthur would not put her aside. The knights of the Round Table in the court of Camelot were near-paragons of Christian virtue, and there are many tales of their search for the Holy Grail, the cup from the Last Supper of Jesus Christ.

In the end, mortally wounded in battle, Arthur was taken away for healing, and never seen again. It was said he would return when Britain was at it most direst hour to save the day once more. A "messianic" return.

The Once and Future King.

Now, I'm no Arthurian novice; I drank up all of T. H. White as a teenager, read the Dark is Rising multiple times, Marion Zimmer Bradley's interpretation and what ever else I could lay my hands on for a good couple of decades. And there is LOTS of King Arthur stuff around. You are not left wanting for anything new to read or consume. And I'll bet there are a fair few of you also out there who know a quite bit about the legend as well. Oh, and I can't tell you how many times I have watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I still walk around quoting it day-to-day, like the good little Gen-Xer I am, having grown up on that stuff. So I really should have listened to my intuition when bits of Monty Python kept popping up in my brain in response to other parts of GO I was thinking about. (Staaay, I said, stay with me here....)

I kept chewing away furiously on the Wessex problem, growling in feral frustration at it, but also kept reading and sorting out some other ideas and metas at the same time. Eventually I found the key in a tiny little post, about a small detail in the 1941 Blitz episode S2E4, of all places. I wanted to slap myself with how much was staring me in the face so obviously once the door opened. And the damn beauty of it is, that I already written about some it, out of context, without knowing the why.

OK. Where to start this journey...hmmm, back to Monty Python, because, guess what - the Wessex scene is actually riffing off one the more famous skits out the the Holy Grail. The scene is a masterpiece of political satire, from start to finish, but the relevant part here is this sequence:

In case you missed the salient points: Arthur claims he is king by divine providence, because he was given Excalibur by the Lady of the Lake. Dennis the peasant protests this waterlogged method of determination, mentioning ponds, watery tarts and a moistened... well, I hope you get the idea about where this is going.

Meanwhile, in 537AD, Wessex, as the mist swirls around them:

"It is a bit damp," complains a shiny silver Aziraphale.

Yes, Excalibur would be a bit damp after it emerged from the Lake. (vidavalor! Get your mind out of the gutter! I'm trying to have a serious discussion here! Please! And I wasn't even going to go anywhere near what the sword in the stone is really meant to be referring to...it's not even relevant to the discussion at hand, I swear! Well, there is going to be sexual relations mentioned but - oh, never mind...)

Right. Where were we. Lets leave those super-clean elite pretendy knights to swim off through the swirling mist back to their dry homes to write and file reports to head office, along with Patsy and the hired Igors, and Dennis can keep playing in his lovely muddy filth after he finishes protesting being repressed by the divinely-deluded Arthur. I've got a bit more to say about what Aziraphale and Crowley might represent here later but you need some more context first, so lets move on. I just needed to show you the first bit so you can see the Arthurian theme stretches across both S1 and S2, and will likely appear in S3 as well. More about that towards the end.

Ah, before I forget...another ref from the Holy Grail we need to cover:

This GIF, unfortunately, doesn't have the full exchange between the peasants, which is this:

P1: "Who's that then?" P2: "I don't know. Must be a king." P1: "How can you tell?" P2: "Because he doesn't have any shit on him."

Ah. Er. OH!

Have you made the connection?

Who have I been emphasizing as being unusually clean in their Arthurian setting? That's right, Aziraphale and Crowley.

What's this implying? That they are royalty. Celestial royalty. Maybe not kings, but how about princes? You know how we've been discussing whether Crowley was a once at least an Archangel, and there is even a hint that he was a fallen prince of Heaven given during the replay of Gabriel's trial? (Not the prince, but a prince - a seraphim) And that Aziraphale may have once been Raphael, and may be again in the future? Once and future royalty. To me it adds weight to the past discussion, and helps to explain the assumed authority expressed in these two scenes here: On the left, Aziraphale takes control inside the book shop as the angels and demons argue who is going to punish Gabriel and Beelzebub (finally found it after several months!) and on the right, Crowley is shouting at the assembling demons in the street that they are "out of order."

Onward, Patsy. (I hope you're still with me.)

1941, the Blitz part 2, minisode.

We've found Excalibur! On to Camelot!

[Edit note: I've added a few GIFs and screen shots into the sequence of parallels above because I was thinking over a few things since I posted and felt this actually sat better. To try and explain, as they don't exactly match as I would like, in the Holy Grail movie, King Arthur and the knights he has gathered rock up at the foot of Camelot and gaze up in awe at it. "Camelot!" Arthur declares to the party. "Camelot!" Galahad echoes in excitement. And a third "Camelot!" comes from Lancelot. What do we get in GO? Aziraphale leaps out of the Bentley (Crowley's black horse) and declares "The theater! Sophocles! Shakespeare!" I swear, if you put the two side by side, they would match. It's not just a reminder of how much time Aziraphale has seen pass by, or that we are seeing a tragedy play out. But damn it, I could so just see Aziraphale attending a Sophocles performance in Athens back in the day...]

Camelot was King Arthur's castle and home of his court. In S2 of GO the Windmill Theater is established as our court of Camelot where our 1941 Blitz-era Arthurian drama is to play out, involving Furfur and the zombies.

Yes, poor old Furfur. Two's company, three's a crowd, as they say. Now we know we're in Camelot, we need to be reminded of the central tragedy of the Arthurian story, that ultimately led to the golden kingdom's fall. Lady Guinevere, Arthur's queen, famously loved Sir Lancelot, and the two were passionate lovers. It was essentially a love-triangle at the top, with Arthur being jilted, but he wouldn't/couldn't discard his queen. Where do we see this playing out in 1941?

Furfur, pleased with himself for catching an angel and a demon in the act of consorting together (with the help of the zombies,) barges into the backstage dressing room, and confronts the lovers with their crime. But who is playing who in the Arthurian love triangle? I would say Furfur is clearly caught in the role of Arthur here. Consider the following exchange:

FURFUR: Hmm, well, well, well… What have we here? AZIRAPHALE: Sorry, have we met? FURFUR: Oh, no, you never had the pleasure, but… we have, haven't we? CROWLEY: Have we? FURFUR: What do you mean "have we?" You know we have. We were in the same legion. Just before the Fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember? CROWLEY: I remember going into battle, I don't remember being there with you. Sorry. FURFUR: I was right next to you. We did loads together. You use to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat. Anyway, whether you do or whether you don't, it doesn't matter. I'm here to inform you, as a representative of the Higher Powers of Hell, that you, Crowley, are in breach of the Infernal Code. Consulting and collaborating with an angel, Fell the Marvelous, aka… [opens book] Azirapalala. Azirapapap. Aziphapalala. AZIRAPHALE: [annoyed] Aziraphale

Furfur claims a past intimate relationship with Crowley, which Crowley spurns offhandedly. Crowley is playing Guinevere here, jilting Furfur/Arthur, which leaves the demon-smiting Aziraphale standing in for the handsome hero Lancelot (with his French connections, no less), and doesn't he make us weak at the knees when he drops his voice an octave in dominating disgust. (Is it suddenly getting hot in here...? Phew!)

Interestingly, looking back in S1 at 537AD Wessex, though, I would say that Crowley was Lancelot as the Black Knight, a role that Lancelot sometimes played in the legends, and Aziraphale would then be the fair maiden Guinevere. It certainly plays into Crowley's long term role of playing the knight who comes to the rescue of Aziraphale's princess in distress. Excalibur was no where in sight, perhaps still beneath the waters of the lake. Nor Arthur. Perhaps it was still too early in the story then...

I had originally suggested in my very first post that Furfur was given a stag as his demon avatar because he was wearing horns for being cuckolded by Crowley. But I wasn't quite thinking about it in context with the Arthurian legend! The stag is also often associated with royalty, plus while wandering around the medieval bestiary website that someone linked to, it interestingly notes that the enemy of the snake is the stag and the stork (Shax's avatar.) Ah ha!

So how can we extrapolate this knowledge into a possible appearance of the Arthurian theme in S3?

Will we see the love triangle of Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot come back into play and cause more chaos? I'm wondering if it might have something to do with the Fall.

Or will our lovers bring down a divinely-appointed ruler via their committed behind-the-back defiance of expected propriety?

Will Excalibur appear from beneath the waters, perhaps in another form, to declare a new king?

Could it even be a combination Jesus/Arthur, King of the World, returned? And they turn out to be a very naughty boy, disappearing into the night clubs of Times Square, New York, and that's how they lose him? (Social media viral sensation, anyone?)

I wouldn't be half-surprised if Greasy Johnson's name turns out to be Arthur, actually.

And no, I haven't forgotten that Adam's dad was named Arthur as well.

Bring on S3!

**Bonus**

If you've made it this far and you're thinking:

Let me leave you with this last connection.

In the back stage change room, remember Furfur delivers these lines:

FURFUR: What do you mean "have we?" You know we have. We were in the same legion. Just before the Fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember?

On the first level, he is referring the Great War in the Good Omens AU.

On the second level, Furfur is paraphrasing Milton's Paradise Lost.

On a third level, I can (and will in a future meta) connect this back to the training initiative paintball fight at Tadfield Manor in S1.

And even deeper on a fourth level, if you do know the Holy Grail movie well, you'll remember there is an odd little subplot in it, that infers that the whole King Arthur and his knights thing is merely a full-on violent cosplay that is murderously rampaging across the countryside in the present day with the police in hot pursuit. It's a strange juxtaposition between reality and dream, and you aren't quite sure what it is real or not. The ending is bizarrely and abruptly surreal as the two story lines collide in the heat of battle, as the police turn up and arrest the combatants. A bit like this:

[queenmorgawse]

interested? check out gradalis.carrd.co to find out how to read this webtoon, even if you don’t speak one word of french.

TRANSCRIPT OF THE SLIDES UNDER THE CUT.

SLIDE 1 : why you should read gradalis (like rn immediately seriously it's so good) (all art is official art) 

SLIDE 2 : girl wtf IS a gradalis - so glad you asked! - gradalis is a french webtoon by kochei, currently releasing on webtoon france! - "but it's in french?" worry not. (this is a surprise tool that will help us later) - QUEEN ARTHURIAN LEGEND RETELLING! LOOK AT THEM! - do i even need more arguments. ok - coming of age with a sprinkle of romance and mild horror, interpersonal drama galore, side characters you WILL cry over - complaining u like fantasy settings but they're too str8 and whyte? this is for u

SLIDE 3 : official summary by yours truly tho

When a fateful encounter whisks young Percival away from the lands he calls home, he has no idea what destiny has in store for him. As a new squire in the service of the knights of the Round Table, he's presented with an exceptional quest : that of the search for the Holy Grail. With magic, conflicts and new companions, Percival's story will see some rise to the occasion, while others fall to their doom.

SLIDE 4 : #1 : the story is a banger, objectively - my boy percy may be the mc but it's not all about him!! - friendship! romance! action! magic! you've got it all - compelling arc after compelling arc. every time you think you're going to breathe you are NOT - complicated family dynamics? we got u. wholesome ones? done. interesting younger AND older cast? ofc - everyone is so married, so divorced or both at once it's kind of wild - u want to cry? this is for u also - the jokes will cheer u up tho

SLIDE 5 : #2 beautiful art style AND interesting characters - started naming all my faves then realized it was everyone - each with their own fleshed out personalities and motivations wow!! - seriously the cast is so diverse. black and hijabi knights!! normalized non-cis and non-straight characters!! we've all been fed - showcasing other charas aside from the main lads here bc they deserve it - everyone looks so gorgeous. crying

SLIDE 6 : #3 by the gays for the gays ( pictures of dinadan, gawain and aglovale )

SLIDE 7 : in conclusion : please read this webtoon deserves more attention and on god i will not shut up about it

[symphonic-scream]

Hey guess what

More details for the Shadow Twins au

(P5 au where Makoto and Goro, as twins, are Shadow OPS, Niijima siblings raised by NaoRise)

I worked out the thieves! And the palace order!

The first two remain the same. Kamoshida and Madarame happen pretty much as it does originally, but around school there's talk of those "really smart third years" or something

Palace three is where things change. In game, it's Kaneshiro. Here? It's Okumura. He lives! But he mentions seeing the "Black Masks" and feeling threatened, fearing for his life at the time. Anyways this means Haru is the fifth party member instead of Makoto

Futaba's remains the same, but then in place of Okumura, theres a palace for Hifumi's mother. Togo palace! I'm working it out but yeah Hifumi joins after Futaba

This is where things change a lot more. The next palace would be Saw normally, but that's not happening when she's a defense attorney. The investigator here? Zenkichi Hasegawa. He's the one interviewing the Wild Cards the whole time. He's been hunting down the duo responsible for everything, and at one point, he gets a little, less legal with his investigations

He goes after Makoto and Goro. He presses Sae for info, why the went back to Shujin if they've already graduated, isn't the timing funny? You wouldn't want your job put at risk should this come out, right? Naoto goes to "set things straight" with him after, and he lays off. But, the twins are concerned. They don't want their family to suffer or lose their jobs protecting them from something they didn't do

So? They finally contact the thieves. After explaining what they are and that they aren't killing people, they ask for help. They want Hasegawa's heart stolen, and they haven't done one themselves. Changes of heart in mementos? Old news. But Palace stuff? They don't want to mess up. So, they make a deal with the Thieves to get this done in exchange for helping clear their name through Kirijo's network

Then it's Shido and then the YaBoi stuff. But, after that, in the third semester? Instead of the Maruki deal there's another new spot in Mementos. Beneath the Holy Grail. The thieves and Ops enter a train car, go down a tunnel, and at the other end? The levels start going up.

Cause they have to fight Nyx again the seal was broken by Yalbasshole when he swiped Minato and Minako to be his pieces in the game with Igor (Igor's wildcards are Akira and Ren)

So there's that! Akira would be transfem, and Ren would have a slow burn romance with Goro that comes to a head on Christmas, whereas Makoto and Haru move a little faster, getting together in Hawaii.

Also, I've made up my mind. The Shadow Ops as a whole have been raising Koromaru's puppies for a bit, to see if any would have the potential. The two boys of the litter end up assigned to assist with the special task the twins have, so. Yeah they got doggies

Hoshi and Kumo, with their personas Balto and Laika. Helps add to the family environment in the Shirogane house. Hoshi and Kumo don't join them when they search for targets in Mementos, but have helped Makoto and Goro track the movements of the Phantom Thieves, and with general exploration

(it's. Because they can't fit on Johanna too. Only room for Makoto and Goro)

But here's some stuff on Naoto and Rise since I haven't said much on them

Naoto is only a part time Shadow OP. He works as a detective on retainer for the Tokyo police most of the time, but takes private cases, mostly from Kirijo directly, now and then. He sometimes travels for work, and makes sure that if he can't bring his family, that he brings home gifts for them all

This is a trans man Naoto. Cause I'm weak. QueerHet NaoRise my beloved.

Now, Rise has retired as an idol years ago. She's a vocal instructor at a music and dance studio focused on youth, and she uses some of her idol money to help pay for students who need help paying for classes or music gear. She hasn't been involved in persona business since Inaba all those years ago. She was given the offer, but she didn't take it. Using Himiko that much back then really tired her out, made her feel like a zombie sometimes. She'd help in an emergency, but she's done enough in her mind

They were looking to adopt when they got the news of the Niijima's passing. It felt like the universe was giving them a sign, to Rise. Naoto wouldn't use those words, but same feeling. Having a teen and two infants was tough, but for them? Rewarding as fuck. Rise sobbed when one of the twins first babbled a "Mama" in her direction, and cried so hard watching Naoto melt at being called "Papa"

Rise would sing to them to get them to sleep. During storms, the whole family would get under a fort in the living room with cushions and blankets, Rise singing and Naoto humming as they watch their youngest, Makoto, gradually stop shaking, her iron grip on her brother and big sis slackening

So. Yeah. Please let me know if you like this au and if I should keep goinf

[paranoid-rhythm]

「Chaldea Treasure Hunting!」Tiamat Edition (Translation)

Tiamat: Alright, let's go! I haven't forgotten anything!

...........................

Tiamat: Hey~! Here, over here! So you've finally arrived. Mother rayshifted a little earlier and waited for you here. 

Guda: Sorry for making you wait!

Tiamat: Fufufu! A child who apologizes honestly is a good child! Good kid, good kid. 

Now then, let's get going. Since we have this wonderful weather, it'll be a shame if we don't enjoy it to the fullest. 

Guda: Speaking of, that's quite the wonderful ribbons you have.

Tiamat: Fufu! Isn't it? I prepared these cute ribbons and this cute overalls for today's picnic. 

Guda: Huh? Did you just say "picnic"?

Tiamat: That's right, a picnic, spending time leisurely in a vast meadow under the blue sky. That's the reason why Mother chose this place. Which would you prefer, a brisk, refreshing  place where you can have fun playing or somewhere that is calm and relaxing?

Guda: A brisk, refreshing place where I can have fun playing!

Tiamat: We're here, Master. Playing in the river is one of the best experiences of summer. Mother prefers the sea though, but we don't have many choices. Even if you fall down, Mother is right here to save you immediately, so don't worry. 

Master? What's wrong?

Guda: But we need to look for the Holy Grail...

Tiamat: Oh, my child is so earnest! Mother is happy, but this makes me sad. But, I knew you would think that way, so I packed not only lunch boxes but also the Holy Grail inside this basket... Huh? Huh?! I, of all people, lost something precious to my child! What a blunder! With this, I am a failure as a mother... 

Guda: L-let's go look for it! That's what we came here for anyway!

Tiamat: Aaah! I thought we could save searching for the Holy Grail at a later date, so I secretly hid it and prepared a picnic, because I wanted to give my child a fun picnic and adventure! 

Huh? Who is it, calling at this time?

King Hassan: Do you hear me? Do you hear my voice, O' Mother of Genesis?

Tiamat: Huh?! T-the Old Man?! A-are... Are you here to condemn Mother for taking the precious Holy Grail?

King Hassan: Not even close, I'm just here to give thanks.

Tiamat: T-that won't do! This Mother will not leave her child behind! 

King Hassan: It will do you best to listen to what I have to say. I am not drawing my sword. First, I am giving thanks for the lunch box, filled with carefully prepared dishes. It truly was a wonderful lunch box.

Tiamat: Eh? Huh? W-well, t-there's no need for thanks... I just made a lot of food for this picnic, so I just wanted to share... S-so, what is it that you wanted to tell me?

King Hassan: In the basket that you gave me, a Holy Grail is wrapped up along with the lunch boxes. 

Tiamat: Ah!

King Hassan: As expected, huh? You've mixed up the baskets. Well then, I shall return this Holy Grail to the rightful place it belongs. You should enjoy this rare time to take a break to the fullest. However, you should also fix that careless side of yours. 

Guda: It's great the Holy Grail was found, huh? 

Tiamat: But, finding the Holy Grail means that the picnic with only the two of us will now end... 

Guda: Why don't we eat, then play for a while before going back?

Tiamat: Huh? T-that's right, we should do that! Mother is so happy that she has raised a kind child! Let's enjoy this day together! Hooray for picnics! 

The culture of human children is a good thing, isn't it? 

[claire-starsword]

Shining Force All HQ Quotes - JP & ENG

[translated some of these on the guide book notes anyway so why not gather them all. I avoided it because Lowe’s sexual harassment bums me out but it came up on the guide anyway so whatever at this point. I promise other characters get better stuff.

Since I did not play the JP version quotes are taken from this handy list. English screenshots are from an old playthrough of mine so Max has a different name.

Also, several active team quotes were reused (with occasional tweaks) in the GBA version and translated accurately there. I didn’t have the patience to screenshots them all but used them as reference in my own translations. That’s enough rambling so let’s go]

Luke

Active:

"Nothing to fear while I'm here! Take me to battle always!"

Rest:

"Everyone's talking about how awesome the last battle was, c'mon, take me on the next one! It won't be fun to go back home without anything to brag about."

Ken

Active:

"Getting to fight as a real knight is like a dream come true. I'll do my best!"

Rest:

"I'm sorry, Max, but traveling through all these countries is a lot of fun."

Tao

Active:

"I'll fight to my very end... I want to be of service to you!"

Rest:

"...Hmm, hmm... Mythical magic? ... I don't get it... Where could it be? ...I don't understand... but I want to."

Hans

Active: the english version is perfectly accurate, save for cutting the ellipsis

Rest:

"Max, seems like you were really fierce in the last battle… You’re brave... While I’m so, so afraid. I wonder how the others feel."

Lowe

Active:

"I'm the support so that everyone can fight with no worries... But let me fight too sometimes!"

Rest:

"Ah, I'm bored, so bored. I feel like messing with the girls now. Whoa, what! That's a scary face, man... I got it, I'll behave."

[much better]

Gong

Active: the english version is accurate.

Rest:

"Humpf, huff, huff! Hiyah! What are you staring at so intently? I'm training so that my attacks get stronger."

Gort

Active:

"This great Gort isn't about to lose to any youngsters yet!"

Rest:

"Max! Want some sashimi? I and the other guys who were free caught some fish and cut them up with this sword. Oops, was that not okay?"

Mae

Active:

"I inherited my father's strength! I won't forgive you if you look down at me for being a woman!"

Rest: the english version is accurate save for cutting a "One two! One, two!" at the beginning

Khris

Active:

"Tell me when you get hurt, okay? Even a small wound can make you unable to fight if you don't care for it."

Rest:

“B-Blaaaze! ...Aww, it really doesn’t work... Max... I think it’s impossible for a priest to use Blaze...”

Anri

Active: english version is mostly accurate but missing the end part.

"Max, thank you for your efforts. I'll do my best too, so take care of yourself as well."

Rest:

"Max! Listen here, Lowe just touched my butt! If he does it again I'll blast him with a Blaze spell."

Arthur

Active: english version is accurate

Rest:

"Once this journey is over, there’s something I want to do. I’m thinking of searching for the legendary golden Holy Grail..."

Balbaroy

Active:

"I'll fight until these wings break. With our pride as rulers of the sky..."

Rest:

"*crack* *crack* Oh, my neck is tense. I've been flying all year so this area around the neck gets stiff. It gets harder to move the wings too."

Amon

Active: english version is perfectly accurate

Rest:

"*flapflapflap* *flapflapflap* I just can't stand still on the ground! *flapflapflap* *flapflapflap*"

Diane

Active: english version is accurate although cutting a generic "I'll strike them all down!" at the end

Rest:

"*click* *click* *nyooooom* Ah, this? I'm restringing my bow. Should be okay now. *nyoooom*"

Zylo

Active:

"We werewolves were born to fight. Of course I wish to be at the battlefield..."

Rest:

"*swish* *swish* *swish* *swish* My claws are my weapons. Of course it is crucial to take care of them. Good, they look in excellent shape."

Pelle

Active:

"Don't get it wrong. I'm a real knight. I don't just go whenever the money is."

Rest:

"*clop clop* *stab!* Whoa! That was close... I might end up hurting you if you come to talk while I'm training."

Yogurt his japanese line is the same either in the active team or not:

"...I don't get it..."

Active:

Rest:

Kokichi

Active:

"Yahoo! I'm fired up to fight! I'll make quick work of those Runefaust guys!"

Rest:

"Hey there, Max! Behold the wonders of modern life! Walking is now a thing of the past."

Vankar

Active:

"Putting me in battle means you have great eyes! As expected of a leader!"

Rest:

“(hic) Drinks, more drinks! Keep bringing on the drinks! Oh, if it ain’t Max! Say, my glass’ been empty for a while now, fill it up for me, won’t ya?”

Domingo

Active:

"Ahem. Did yu know? There's thwee times more ocean than land in this wold."

Rest:

“Ahem. Did yu know? No one here believs it but, the wold isn’t flat.”

Guntz

Active: the GBA version fits perfectly

"Hssss hsssssss... My steam engine's fired up and raring to go!"

Rest:

"*Hsssss hssssss* Everything's fine. I'm doing some maintenance right now. Ah, this is the best."

Earnest

Active: The english version is accurate save for dropping the drama ellipsis (the jp version is more like “My wish... is to fight at the front lines!”).

Rest:

"It's also good to take a break from fighting once in a while. Since I've been fighting all my life..."

Lyle

Active: english version is accurate save for cutting out the Assault Cannon's name

Rest:

"...Huh? An, an enemy attack? ...Was it a dream? This is really embarrassing. Since I had nothing to do I ended up dozing off I guess."

Bleu

Active:

"I'll fight! With my pride as a sacred dragon!"

Rest: english version is mostly accurate but i ended up retranslating anyway

"*swoosh* *swoosh* *swoosh* Do I still lack experience? I'm not great at using my tail."

Musashi

Active:

"Any specters that appear shall be cut by my sword. Gahaha!"

[Check the notes on his bio for the specters/mononoke thing. Also, like most samurai characters in media, Musashi uses some outdated language. Unfortunately I don't know enough old english to try to adapt that.]

Rest:

"... ...I'm awake... Perhaps you do not know. This is a form of meditation, Zazen. It is part of my training."

Alef

Active:

"Let's do our best together to defeat Darksol."

Rest:

"What is the deal with that priest, Lowe? He's been loitering around for a while. It's quite unpleasant, could you do something about it?"

Torasu

Active: the english version is accurate, if a bit clumsy

"Please try to not be hurt badly. If your allies are hurt, leave them to me."

Rest:

"Max, you're wide open! *thump* Aah, you didn't feel it at all? Ohh, were I powerful like a monk, maybe I'd stand out more."

Adam

Active: the GBA version fits perfectly.

"I was born to serve you... I will follow wherever you lead."

Rest:

“Darksol… I cannot forgive him. Even Chaos was used by him… I won’t ever forgive him…”

Hanzou

Active: the GBA version fits perfectly.

"...A ninja is a man of few words. We are content to show our strength in battle..."

Rest:

"Everyone is very active. Well, it's fine by me. I am of the shadows. A bright place like this does not suit me. But should you desire, I'll lend you my power."

[vryyn]

The Emancipation of Performative Apathy

A personal essay about growing up

When I was younger, I always thought I was way too cool to ever express myself, especially to my peers. At the risk of sounding insane, I didn’t really like anyone- most things that I did feel were things that I could only describe as reactionary. I didn’t enjoy the people that I called friends, and, in that time, I lost a lot of interest for the sake of trying to be cool in front of them. Which means that after a certain age, I was that annoying, goofy ass, punk that just didn’t let myself or anyone else enjoy things. And through it all, through the eons that have passed, the thing that got me out of that funk was Kingdom Hearts. (That's right, this is a love letter to kingdom hearts, eat my ass. I’m pushing 30, let me have this.)

(Kingdom Hearts box art via CNET)

For the allistics reading this, Kingdom Hearts is a video game franchise that, as of writing, has 3 main numbered entries and 10 side games. All of these games are integral to the overall story that has spanned over the course of twenty-one years. It’s a game that tries the ludicrous idea of attempting a giant crossover between two IP’s- Final Fantasy and Disney. In all of these games, you play as spikey-haired anime protagonist OC known as Sora who goes on adventures with Disney’s Donald and Goofy. They explore Disney’s catalog of animated films and engage in anime fights with the villains of said movie.  If I had to sum up the experience of what it’s like playing it would be something like Goofy and Squall from Final Fantasy 8, meeting up and having a melodramatic conversation about light and darkness. Nothing about this game should have worked, but my 4-year-old ass sat on the floor and loved every second of it. I was hooked from the first game despite that game being very hard and even harder to understand at that age. 

Thanks for reading dandelion ! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

My brother and I would play that game together and by play, I mean I just watched while he played. The problem was that we were both young children, so we barely knew how to play the game. We got stuck a lot. The first game in this franchise is very hard- the hardest one, if you ask me. Replaying it now is still a struggle in some parts. Things don’t work the way they’re intended to, and characters move like they’re knee deep in mud. Keep in mind this was the early 2000’s, like prehistoric, ancient Mesopotamia era- there was no internet especially in the border town we lived in. The only consistent resource we had were our parents and, of course, a book. 

This, however, wasn’t just any old book, this was the holy grail of all knowledge, a heavenly divine scripture written by the gods who wished to bless us mere mortals with a tome filled with their wisdom. Our journey to acquire such knowledge was not going to be easy and we were prepared to face those challenges. We begged, cried, and, most importantly, asked our parents to take us to our conveniently located Barnes and Noble. And after searching for what felt like eons, there it was- The Official Kingdom Hearts Strategy Guide. 

(from ‘Kingdom Hearts: The Official Strategy Guide’ (pages 62, 63) via piggyback)

The guide contained everything we ever needed from maps and battle strategies, stickers, art, important item locations, secrets, stickers and, most importantly, enemy stats. We never bought it. But God I wanted those stickers. Anyway, Barnes and Noble had a copy opened so we may have skimmed it. The most important piece of information the guide ever gave us was to use defensive magic. Like that was it. And that has been the most game changing advice I have ever gotten for a game. And with that, we beat the first game, under leveled and slightly better gamers. After the first game, I was sort of left to play these games by myself. 

 Up until 2013, I had played every entry that came out, including the one where the real- time combat is done with one time use cards that have to be reloaded upon use. The series had a game come out on every piece of hardware you can imagine, so even if I wasn't home to play one of the titles, there was always something in my pocket to give me access to this world. I didn’t understand a damn thing that was being said in the game, but I loved it anyway. It was just nice to see Goofy do the most broken, most insane juggle in the game to go on and get a wombo combo by Donald casting a string of spells that barely work while you were fighting a different enemy using a spinning twits kick. It was nothing short of brilliance.

After 2013, once I was in middle school, I stopped caring. The first trailer for the 3rd installment in the game was shown off way back then and it looked interesting but by all means I just didn’t want to care about a silly game. Instead, I decided to focus my efforts into becoming the worst possible person that a teenager could be- a centralist. I thought I was hot shit, I thought I was being super cool by adapting the language and attitudes of contemporary think tanks. At the time, that meant the rhetoric of atheists on the internet which in itself evolved into the anti-woke, anti-sjw and, eventually, gamer gate spaces. The people I had surrounded myself with just made it easier for me to become so embedded into the idea that I didn’t need to be an active member in my communities or my life. I didn’t let myself be bogged down by anything that could possibly make me feel bad. And because of all that, between the ages of 10-16, my memory is pretty blurry. 

When I came to, I found myself over encumbered by the burdening realization- a passionate 3-word sentence, searing onto the tip of my tongue: I hate this. I didn’t dig my heels into the lamest world of politics- which by then shape shifted into the likes of Ben Shapario, Rubin Report, and Project Veritas. They were all things that I used to watch or was aware of who they were. I was too cool to ever be lame enough to fall into that conservative pipeline. I was just becoming an extremely apathetic man. Instead of radicalizing myself to that kind of thing, I just sat there with that nothing for a long time. I didn’t know what to talk about now. I just started listening to other people around me. I saw people who loved things and each other, who were hurt by things outside of their control. And I didn’t know what was going on. In 2016, I miraculously graduated high school even though I kind of just sort of did nothing and still came out at like 18th in my class. In that haze I somehow then performed an any% speed run through college in what was supposed to be a 2018 graduation turned into a 2019 graduation. In that time, I eventually started leaning more towards where I stand now with my political affiliations, and that meant where I was as a kid. I was super based as a kid way more than I was in my adolescence, it’s comedy really.

My brother reminded me sometime in late 2018, early 2019, that after 6+ years Kingdom Hearts 3 was finally releasing. That month I made an unprecedented amount of money in tips, and it was coming out around my birthday, so I bought it. I hadn’t played the previous games in so long and when I went back to see all these games and the plot threads that were going to be wrapped up in this 3rd main- line entry, I was surprised to see how much I remember it and, what was the most shocking to me, was how much I cared about it. Remembering all those characters, people that I hadn’t seen in at least 6+ years was a sobering reminder of my own frail creation of a personality I created and what little it had made me. 

I couldn’t help but think about Sora and the quest that he’d been through in these games. Sora is nothing like me. He unabashedly and unconditionally loves, he is quick to extend a hand of friendship, he constantly wears his heart on his sleeve and, most importantly, learns what growing up means in a world that wants to grow cold. He started off as a happy kid who goes on this long adventure because he didn’t want to lose his friends. Throughout the course of the series, in what I’m guessing was the writers trying to write themselves out of a corner, decided to inject fear and doubt into him. He loses his memory and never gets it back after a yearlong sleep. When he comes to, he finds that he’s not the same person anymore and that the friend that he spent so long looking for, doesn't even look like himself. In both writing and performance, it feels like he’s in this sort of catatonic state, a stupor that t. In that time, Sora finds that he’s literally been split in two- a side portrayed by a totally different character, one that was mean, sad, and edgy, one that represented his hurt. It takes Sora a long time to sound and act like his old self, in both writing and performance. The plot device that cements this, funnily enough, is the one that introduces time travel and has Sora look like his old self from the first game. He literally goes back into his old self and the writing is better and it’s filled with so much glee that it genuinely made me laugh. It was the corniest and lamest joke ever and it made me laugh. And I will always remember that. 

(Kingdom Hearts 3 title screen from ‘Kingdom Hearts 3 Title Screen Opening & Menu Selection (1080p 60fps)’via YouTube) 

When Kingdom Hearts 3 came to my door, I put the disc into my system, sat on the floor, and began what turned out to be one of the most heart wrenching experiences of my life. From a fucking game that featured Donald Duck casting a spell known as Zettaflare which is a spell so powerful that only two other mages in Final Fantasy can use. From the game that features an AMV that feels like it was ripped from an early 2000’s YouTube video. The main menu alone had me in tears. That’s how it went from that point forward, just little parts in its stilted weirdly written dialogue that would just remind me of me. It all just collectively came forward at the very end. Sora rescues everyone. The evil bad man (who is the only person in the franchise to have any melanin in his skin and I think I should be a little offended by that) stops being evil and realizes that maybe leading the world into fascism isn’t the move. The worlds that had fallen into darkness have been saved. That even the other half of Sora found happiness in his friend’s and stopped being so angsty. All is okay in the universe. The final image of the game, of this main line series so far, is that of Sora staring into the eyes of his love interest, both of their silhouettes outlined by the setting sun beside them. I’m shouting for my boy Sora, that son of a bitch did it. Right after they both lean in, there's a kiss coming, the music starts swelling, and as a beautiful bloom radiating from the sun, the colors turn vibrant as their outlines become consumed, he fades away into that light. He’s gone. Then it cuts to credits. That’s it. That's the ending. It made me cry so fucking hard. 

I have never let myself be part of a world that experienced anything. I purposely closed myself off to maintain a level of vague coolness because I was ashamed to ever be seen as liking something let alone ever approaching a personality that is authentically me. I think I was just scared as being seen as childish or lesser for liking silly things like a game or show. All I got from the people around me, including adults, were positive responses for being an emotionally constipated teenager. I held myself back and I lost a lot of myself because of my shame.

Shame as I now understand it, isn’t something that comes from within, it’s a feeling that comes because of one’s relation to others. It’s a feeling that comes when there’s an innate desire of needing the validation of others to accept you and all that you encompass. And when you start thinking about it like that, then there IS a lot of pressure to be someone that others will like. That ideological framework is what hurts the most. It's the thing that makes cliques and ends up becoming a sort of internalized stigmatization. In the article Shame in Self and Society, Thomas J. Sheff would argue that in all of our understanding of lived- in experiences of expressions, shame, compared to feelings like love that have had such a much broader and wider understanding, has been so uniquely defined in our society. It’s in that we can see why there is such a shocking lack of empathy in our world. And I think I can agree with it, to a certain extent.

The word that we use now, well from what I see, is cringe. Cringe in every way shape and form is about shaming people for having any sort of noticeable attachment to something. I would argue that cringe takes it a step further by directly comparing it to standards of neurotypicality of expression which can be further expressed into conservative white thought. Like all things, cringe and shame are political and hurting someone for not being what you wanted them to be is pretty lame if you ask me. I was that person and I bullied myself for it. I hid in corners of my own life watching someone that I didn’t recognize. In my head, that’s what growing up looked like.

Three months after the release of KH3, and to the surprise of everyone, I came out as trans. I know it’s pretty stereotypical of me to be a fan of Kingdom Hearts and be trans but I think it’s funny. It’s like right there with being trans and a Sonic fan. It was a (Donkey Kong Barrel) blast coming out. And I’m happy that I did. I have found happiness in allowing myself to change, to let other people see me change.  I have learned to just love things and others and myself. And that’s a weird sentence to say. It seems like just a basic human understanding, like something that would just be fundamental to just being, I don’t know, decent. And I had spent so much of my time never knowing. That pretentious kid thought they knew everything, what a punk.

Being well into my 20’s now, all I know is that I don’t want to be that person again. I don’t want to be known as someone who is there for my friends because of the simple fact that I enjoy being their friend. To let myself be completely infatuated with the small things that exist in this world. I want to be able to see others as themselves and not as what I want them to be, to see the parts of them that don’t shine anymore and still enjoy their company. I know that’s not a revolutionary take, in fact I think it makes people wince their eyes out of concern especially since the thing that made me realize it was a spikey haired anime protagonist and his closest friends Donald and Goofy. But I don’t know how else to tell you how happy that has made me. That learning from a goofball like Sora was kind of sort of freeing. And I think that I can best explain this with a simple meme, don't kill the part of you that is cringe, kill the part that cringes. I guess it was ok to just want to be a little my bestie like Sora. 

(Image of Kingdom Hearts gang and their first appearance outfits from ‘Kingdom Hearts: Visual Art Collection: CG & Illustration Works’ via Internet Archive)

[hasmephydoneanythingwrong]

Interesting two-fold story I’ve got (/ref). It involves a Berserker concept I rejected, and a Berserker concept I thought I’d keep around. That second part is long as fuck, though, so I’m gonna put that under the cut.

So last night, I was toying with the idea of myself as a Servant. I figured a really cool idea to explore would be a Berserker version whose Madness Enhancement makes them think only about Mephistopheles. The Madness Enhancement would force Berserker!me (henceforth referred to as “me,” “I,” “they,” or “Brucersker) to speak only in regards to Mephisto, sort-of switching around second- and third-person.

Example:

What I would like to say: “From what I’ve seen, is it safe to say that Mephistopheles hates you?”

What “I” would actually say: “I’ve seen your interactions… you hate her, right?”

What I really liked about “me” was the badass-sounding summoning line I came up with (content warning for misogyny, suicide, blood, repetition, and mentions of death in the link):

“Servant, Berserker. My incompetent self came for one reason and one reason only. Where. Is. My. Wife?”

I imagined that this would lead Guda on a sort-of goose chase around Chaldea, trying to figure out who Bruce’s “wife” is, with Brucerker merely saying “I’ll know him when I see him.” (I wrote “them” this way for the sake of dramatic tension, but who’s to say this isn’t also a result of Madness Enhancement?

I could probably write a ficlet on that search alone, but here’s the CliffNotes version:

Brucerker: "Where. Is. My. Wife?”

Guda: “I don’t know… But I can help you find her! What is your wife like?”

Brucerker: “...coy, and sly.”

Guda: “Okay… (that’s not enough to go off of…) What if I introduce you to all of my Servants?”

Brucerker: “Yes… Master should start with the one that’s been with them since the beginning.”

Guda takes Brucerker to meet Mash.

Guda: “This is Mash Kyrielight, my first Servant! Class: Shielder.”

Brucerker, as the Madness Enhancement unclouds some of their memories of being a Master: “No… She’s like you, but different… A protector, but much younger…”

Mash, not knowing how Brucerker’s Madness Enhancement works: "’Like you but different…’ hmm…”

Mash, Brucerker, and Guda go to see Berserker Lancelot.

Brucerker, remembering the effort they put into strengthening Lancelot out of pity: “Those golden crystals I gave to make him stronger… I could have given them to you. Was it worth it?”

Lancelot is enraged by this disrespect and tries to attack Brucerker. Luckily, Mash intercepts with her shield.

Guda (to Mash): “Okay, so we know they used to be a Master.” (to Bruce) “What else is your wife like?”

Brucerker: “Kind… so kind… so full of love.”

Guda ponders the information.

A protector like Mash (but not the same age)...

Kind and full of love...

There’s at least one Servant in Chaldea who fits that description who has told Guda of her experience in a previous Holy Grail War.

Factoring in the Madness Enhancement, it’s entirely possible that Brucerker is confusing being “sly and coy” for something else.

Guda decides that it could be Jeanne, with Brucerker mistaking her more laid-back attitude toward being burned at the stake for aloofness.

Guda and Mash take Brucerker to see Jeanne, who is in the cafeteria hanging out with Astolfo.

Guda introduces them to Brucerker (Astolfo is ecstatic to meet someone new and shakes “their” hand without hesitation) and asks if Jeanne is “their” wife.

Brucerker says the line I used as the Madness Enhancement example, and adds that “you hate her because she can’t admit her problems.”

Guda is overcome with realization.

Astolfo: “But who would do that?”

Guda: “Like Mash but different… full of love… hates Jeanne for not admitting her problems!”

Guda: “It’s Meph!”

I really liked Brucerker’s vibes and concept, but I didn’t want to settle on one specific idea for my Mastersona as a Servant. I fluctuate between ideas for that concept too often. Instead, I went onto a Fate/Grand Order server I’m in and suggested a “game” of sorts (now we’re getting to the good stuff).

Content warning under the cut for mentions of death, burning, and incest

I put Brucerker’s summon line in the server, without telling them whose it was, and my friends had to assign a True Name to it. One friend, @/hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong, guessed that it was Pygmalion. I did a few quick Google searches, and I found out that Pygmalion is the sculptor who constructed and fell in love with Galatea.

I think the personality facets I had in mind for Brucerker translate very well to a hypothetical Berserker Pygmalion but can be taken in directions that are quite different. I can see it now…

He’s self-aware enough to know that he’s a Berserker and how Berserkers should act, but he doesn’t know why he’s a Berserker (The answer is love. It’s always love).

He still puts Galatea up on a ridiculously high pedestal (it’s hard to tell how much of this has been exacerbated by Madness Enhancement). Because of this, he is devastated that Galatea is a Berserker as well. “Of course,” he’s not upset for his own sake, but for hers. “Why,” he wonders, “was my beloved put into the class of violence and madness? She should be a Ruler, a Caster, anything would be better than this.” (It should be noted that he only has a rudimentary understanding of the classes) He blames himself for this, and while he’s technically right, he doesn’t get that Galatea is a Berserker due to his love. Rather, he thinks that while building her, he made some kind of mistake, and he treats this nonexistent mistake like his greatest failure, because his beloved deserves only the best.

Me: If I had a nickel for every Servant I came up with who held a gold Servant to such a high standard that they thought that person should be considered a Ruler, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

His manner of speech is the same as Brucerker’s, but with Galatea instead of Mephistopheles (I should also clarify that Brucerker and Pygmalion can still refer to those people in third person)

He hangs out with a lot of Servants who have similar levels of devotion for one person or deal with love in a similar way. However, only the devotion factor allows you to understand him (it doesn’t have to be romantic in nature). It’s kind of like Mental Corruption in that regard, so I’m not sure if I’d rather use MC or ME for his kit. MC would make him more unique, though, so if that’s the one that makes more sense, I’m all for it. Anyway, here are some of the Heroic Spirits he likes to hang out with (he always gushes about his wife), as well as Heroic Spirits who can understand him.

Those who he hangs out with (italicized names can understand him): Sigurd, Artemis, Nobukatsu, Brynhildr, Odysseus, Gilles de Rais, Erik, Kama, Galatea (of course), Jeanne d’Arc, Xu Fu, Abigail Williams (Summer), Europa

Pygmalion, Sigurd, Brynhildr, Odysseus, and Xu Fu: the “I fucking love my spouse” club

Artemis, Kama, and Europa: the “mistaken for various Alters of Aphrodite” trio

Pygmalion will follow them around and shower them with gratitude for bringing Galatea to life. Europa gently tries to correct him but is ignored, Artemis smugly accepts the praise, and Kama, well…

Pygmalion and Nobukatsu: the “I am compelled to die for this person” duo

Pygmalion, Brynhildr, Gilles de Rais, Erik: the “our love was considered ‘mad’” gang

Other noteworthy relationships

Salome and Kiyohime: “You hurt your beloved? You decapitate/burn them like the firewood tree? Scorn for Salome/Kiyohime! Scorn for Salome/Kiyohime for a thousand years!”

Erice and Yu Mei-ren: Pygmalion respects them for their devotion, but they avoid him because he’s weird.

Caligula: “Get that incest bullshit out of here.”

Tamamo no Mae: There’s a sense of mutual respect between them.

Cleopatra: “...why would you ask your beloved to change something about him that isn’t even a problem?”

Summer Sessyoin: Disgusted that her devotion, which he considers equal in strength to his own, is toward the idea of a Little Mermaid sequel rather than a person; views it as selfish

Other Servants who can understand him: Rama

He’s been waiting for eons to be summoned at the same time as Galatea (I always got the vibe that Heroic Spirits are self-aware while they’re waiting in the Throne to be summoned), so he has no patience for anything else.

If he and his wife are in Chaldea at the same time, he’ll soon want to escalate things, telling Guda to summon his and Galatea’s kids as well. Try as Guda might to explain that it doesn’t work like that, Pygmalion will keep on trying to pressure them.

[oldguy56-world]

Airport

I know this isn't Monday but am I late when I told you last week I would do this on Tuesday because I was fleeing, I mean leaving the country temporarily? I am back, rested, and full of stuff to share.

This was the first time we traveled since Covid shut everything down in 2020, and in that time there have been MANY changes to how we go through the airport system. I hear enhancements were made to make our travel experience more enjoyable, but I also heard once that rubbing mayo on your head made your hair grow back. Fool me once...

There were things on the flight I observed (like maybe all kids between the ages of 3-8 should be put in with the baggage), but that is not what I will be discussing today.

There was also the experience with the travel agent, who took our money, set up reservations with the airlines and resort, but we had to do everything else including produce our own tickets and boarding passes, but I will not be discussing that today either.

This blog is about the experience at the airports (coming and going) that I want to discuss, hence the title of this blog. I will not name names when it comes to the airports, but this involves one domestic and one foreign. You can take your pick which I am referring to.

If you are going to have self check in machines, put some in that work. I was trying to check my baggage and received every default and error message except a digital middle finger. There are 'people' there to help, but when they come over they punch in some super secret code that makes everything run smooth, then they look at you with that 'Your are pathetic' smirk before they walk away to join with the other helpers to compare stories.

Why do you have to go on line to get a boarding pass 24 hours before your flight when you still have to line up at the airport for two hours for them to give you a paper boarding pass and take your luggage. Here is a helpful hint: put an outhouse in the line because a lot of seniors travel and we could sure use one.

The plane lands, it takes you forty minutes to go through all the various checkpoints, and you still get to the carousel 15 minutes before your luggage.

Speaking of check points, Have a sign that says 'You will need to show your passport 6 times, your boarding pass 8 times, and any other random pieces of paper they are going to ask for. I got tired just putting them away, taking them out, repeat.

I was stopped for a random customs check. What, you say this happens. Well let me tell you it keeps happening to me. I believe I am being profiled. This time I was worried as I was separated from the rest of the group and sent down a long corridor to a place where there were a lot of unsmiling faces on uniformed people staring at me. I was psychologically preparing myself for some kind of cavity search (at their peril mind you) when I was asked three questions. Where had I been? Was this my first time there? and how long were we away? That was it. I had to be isolated for those gripping sensitive questions. I felt like I was in Monty Python and the Holy Grail and one wrong answer and the floor would open up and I would never be seen again. My wife quietly waited for me (she is a saint) and here's the kicker: She had my passport. If they had asked to see mine I was screwed. This blog would still be waiting in my head, along with stories of prison life.

Did you know the airport sells luxury snacks? One of these years I will save up enough to see what a $3.50 chocolate bar tastes like. Don't be fooled by the packaging. They might look like the ones in Dollarama that go for .88 but there must be something special about them.

People push past you to get on the plane first. They might not be aware that it does not leave until all of us get on board. or that the seats are reserved not first come first serve.

This is my airport story.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Don't judge your vacation by what happens at the airport. That will never change. Judge it by what happens between flying there and flying home. Isn't that where you take all the pictures anyway?

[acluelessfangirl]

Now I am the first to admit that I am terrible when it comes to consistent spirituality and witchery; the result of many things that's a way more personal post than I'm gonna put on tumblr but I digress. However, I am both pleased and exasperated to say that when my spirit team needs to get a message through they have figured out how to hit me over the head with a proverbial brick.

Or rather a proverbial shield.

About, oh three years ago now? I fell head first into arthuriana as a special interest (among other big positive changes) and my spirit guide team went 'Ah, now see we can work with that' (apparently anime is not their preferred appearance lmao) and since then that's how I get everything and honestly I'm very much ok with it. My parents even got me the Arthurian Magic book (a good resource but I also have feelings about parts lol), and I found one very specific tarot deck they like that I use a combination of physical and digital cards for.

For me, the most amusing part of it all is that when my guides want my attention they start throwing names in my path. It's not that hard since I work in customer service; names, addresses, emails, and all sorts of things suddenly become full of familiar names of people and locations. (there was one week at an old job where I swear to god I helped every Morgan in the city.)

So for the past two weeks, I've been having that experience, including an incredibly funny (to me) moment where a guest in the lobby goes "Where is Sir Lancelot?!" and I snap to attention (because Lancelot? in my workplace?). But the stress has been a lot so I haven't really been paying attention to this other than momentary chuckles and lift-me-ups. Until today when I pulled up a guest's information to get their account settled and their name is Percival.

Percival.

Now mind you I also helped an absolutely adorable grandmother named Kay, but Kay has been one of my known guides since they decided that this is how they want to present themselves. I adore him, both the knight proper and my guide who presents as him, but I don't always listen to him right away. (in fact, when I'm stressed and depressed listening to my guide team is the last thing I wanna do even though it's the first thing I should do.)

No, the reason why Percival got my attention (in hindsight you'd think it'd have been the guy shouting about Lancelot, but alas) is because Percival is a Grail Knight and... Well...

I kinda, sorta, really hate the Holy Grail.

Like, it's no secret in my house that I am so exasperated by how grail-centric all of the Arthurian magic books are. I did not find Arthur's court because of the grail, I do not want the grail and do not ever intend to even think about going on a quest or search for the grail. I hate that damn cup.

But also that's not a name you see every day, at least not where I live..

So I came home, walked the dog, and finally did cards and... Yeah, Percival. First as Justice, then the High Priestess, and then the Knight of Cups.

Yes, he is a Grail Knight, but that's not why he was brought to me and it's not relevant to our upcoming adventure outside of the fact that it's a title he has.

[queenmorgawse]

interested? check out gr4dalis.carrd.co to find out how to read this webtoon, even if you don’t speak one word of french.

TRANSCRIPT OF THE SLIDES UNDER THE CUT.

SLIDE 1 : why you should read gradalis (like rn immediately seriously it’s so good) (all art is official art) 

SLIDE 2 : girl wtf IS a gradalis - so glad you asked! - gradalis is a french webtoon by kochei, currently releasing on webtoon france! - “but it’s in french?” worry not. (this is a surprise tool that will help us later) - QUEEN ARTHURIAN LEGEND RETELLING! LOOK AT THEM! - do i even need more arguments. ok - coming of age with a sprinkle of romance and mild horror, interpersonal drama galore, side characters you WILL cry over - complaining u like fantasy settings but they’re too str8 and whyte? this is for u

SLIDE 3 : official summary by yours truly tho

When a fateful encounter whisks young Percival away from the lands he calls home, he has no idea what destiny has in store for him. As a new squire in the service of the knights of the Round Table, he’s presented with an exceptional quest : that of the search for the Holy Grail. With magic, conflicts and new companions, Percival’s story will see some rise to the occasion, while others fall to their doom.

SLIDE 4 : #1 : the story is a banger, objectively - my boy percy may be the mc but it’s not all about him!! - friendship! romance! action! magic! you’ve got it all - compelling arc after compelling arc. every time you think you’re going to breathe you are NOT - complicated family dynamics? we got u. wholesome ones? done. interesting younger AND older cast? ofc - everyone is so married, so divorced or both at once it’s kind of wild - u want to cry? this is for u also - the jokes will cheer u up tho

SLIDE 5 : #2 beautiful art style AND interesting characters - started naming all my faves then realized it was everyone - each with their own fleshed out personalities and motivations wow!! - seriously the cast is so diverse. black and hijabi knights!! normalized non-cis and non-straight characters!! we’ve all been fed - showcasing other charas aside from the main lads here bc they deserve it - everyone looks so gorgeous. crying

SLIDE 6 : #3 by the gays for the gays ( pictures of dinadan, gawain and aglovale )

SLIDE 7 : in conclusion : please read this webtoon deserves more attention and on god i will not shut up about it

[dantoolsie]

My friend, under no influence, dictated the true history of DJ Khaled to me.

Khaled who is immortal, trained with monks for hundreds of years in Nepal They lived for a long time but not forever Khaled knows all sorts of martial arts, he hung out with Gengis Khan, Once DJ Khaled took an axe to the back and they thought he was dead so they were going to bury him but he dove into his belly Kahn wanted to gain his power but Khaled wouldn't give it, Khan imprisoned him and killed him every day trying to learn his power but Khaled escapes after learning their tactics. Without a proper leader they are never able to surpass the great wall of china and ultimately lose the war cut to 1000 years later Bieber was mad cuz dj khaled and flo rida had a show the same night Biebers body guard jokes that they should kill Khaled haha but bieber wants to for real next morning body guard finds his gun is missing, turns out his gun is missing, Bieber goes to flo ridas house kicks in the door and kills flo rida really cool dj khaled hides in the kitchen and shoots khaled in the head twice but before he dies khaled dives into his own belly he comes after Bieber who is now out of bullets but Bieber escapes cuz khaled is fat Bieber now has to tell people about khaled but any time he tries khaled shows up and prevents him In Khaled's minds eye he can see anyone who knows he is immortal, it's not just a symbolic mark, upon knowing the fact a person receives a physical mark which all immortals can see and Khaled then seeks you out to kill you Khaled wrestled under the name The Great Khaled. Khaled fought with the Turks in the Napoleonic wars. After the Battle Of Waterloo afterwards Khaled was the one who said they should exile and not kill Napoleon Khaled does not gain or lose weight, he has had the same mass for millennia. King Arthur's search for the Holy Grail was actually for Khaled, Khaled IS the Holy Grail and Khaled joined Arthur on the quest, knowing full well that HE was the grail. Dj khaled was created in Atlantis and they put the embodiment of the city into him, their fortune tellers knew that the city was going down and wanted him to carry on their legacy Khaled had a thing against poop, that's why he overthrew the poo dynasty. that's also why he won't go down on people, he was going down on emperor poo ping's daughter, he pulled down her panties and she had a poo pussy. He was upset and began collaborating with Genghis Khan to overthrow the poo dynasty. Poo ping stabbed Khaled in the heart and Khaled decapitated Ping. Thinking he was dead Khan was going to ceremonially bury Khaled at the site but he dove into his own belly and regenerated. That's how Khan found out Khaled is immortal. Steevie Nix gave Khaled a handjob, it was her last. They were talking about future games when they were writing it. Khaled asked for another HJ, he asked repeatedly to her annoyance. It ended their friendship but she kept doing it since the Khaled effect is strong in the music industry. When immortals fight they do so like regular people but the only way to kill an immortal is to split the brain into two halves down the middle, even decapitating one won't kill them and if the two halves come back together they are revived. Dj khaled has scattered brain parts across the world to be the only one left alive. That's why he's so dumb Every immortal is actually the embodiment of a lost city. they put their culture and everything into that one person. Pompeii has their own. As Atlantis was sinking, they made Khaled. The green oval (1) shows up and tells them how to fix it and Khaled goes berserk, the fight that ensues is what causes Atlantis to sink at a faster rate. paula deen is made of entirely of butter, she can be thing she wishes, she wishes paula deen The video game dynasty warriors was supposed to be about the poo dynasty but khaled wouldn't allow it. they were like halfway done and he showed up and said no, you're not allowed. The game then became about the three kingdoms there was a 4th kingdom that was the poo dynasty. (1) The Green Oval is another character created by this same friend