#toast marketing board

[69consellationsinatrenchcoat]

RED SIDE STORY IS OUT JSHSJAJA I NEED SLEEP BUT I WANT TO READ

WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR THIRTEEN YEARS. WHY MUST I SLEEP SHSHJJS

ksjsjdhaksgaksjskskagaka

[esperderek]

I have to have a chuckle at the Screenrant article posted recently about the Galactic Starcruiser, which totally wasn't about Jenny Nicholson's video honest.

In part, because early in Nicholson's video, she talks about how unnatural it is to have your influencers speak in adcopy and copyright rather than the more colloquial nicknames, and how it makes the people speaking about the product seem very insincere and, well, paid off. Because normal humans don't speak that way, but advertising does.

What's the first two lines in this article?

"As a life-long fan of Star Wars, there was nothing quite as exciting as finding out that I would be working on the immersive Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser experience. Located at the Walt Disney World Resort, the Galactic Starcruiser opened on March 1, 2022, and welcomed passengers to board a two-day, two-night cruise through the stars, during which they could live out their own Star Wars adventure."

No one talks like this naturally. No one writes like this naturally.

This is supposed to be your passioned defense of the place you worked at, the people you worked with, and the memories you made along the way. C'mon! Why don't you open with a story, perhaps an anecdote about the best moment you had working there, or the devastation of the day you lost your dream job. We need to feel your humanity! But there's nothing of that here, to the point where you can just hear the TM behind Galactic Starcruiser.

The first half of this article continues in this vein, reading like a press release Disney marketing put out, just with past tense rather than present or future tense:

"Essentially, the Starcruiser experience was a 48-hour movie that passengers were actually a part of. It was all facilitated through the "datapad," which was accessed through the Play Disney Parks app."

"To facilitate the overarching immersive experience and storytelling, the Starcruiser built a jam-packed itinerary for each and every guest that would consist of a variety of important activities: the captain's toast at muster, a bridge training exercise, lightsaber training, and more. These types of events were essential to understanding what was happening, as they would give passengers the chance to interact with characters and build their story. This is why the Starcruiser could never be just a hotel; every part of it was designed for enthusiastic interaction."

Like, c'mon. I used to work in television. I've seen and used adcopy in my former job, and this is some serious adcopy. It honestly wouldn't shock me if the author dredged up some old adcopy they had lying around about the topic and just transferred it over, changing the tense. You're not here to sell us this product, because there is no product to sell. It's gone, it's been gone for a year, you don't have to sell us on IT. Speak about your experiences.

The next part is yet another topic that Jenny Nicholson pointed out, the bad faith excuses that influencers and advertisers made for the extreme price point:

"What many people don't know, however, is that the price included much more than just a room. The passengers' food, park tickets, recreation activities on board, non-alcoholic drinks, and more were all included - with merchandise being one of the few additional costs on board."

Which is absolute bad faith reasoning, especially when there are plenty of other vacation options that are ALSO all-inclusive, but are MUCH cheaper and offer MORE amenities than the Galactic Starcruiser did! Including Disney Cruises, owned by the same company! Seriously, you can go on a halfway decent sounding cruise or all-inclusive resort somewhere warm for, like, a week or two and spend far less than GSC cost.

Then the last part is essentially: "All the workers liked working there and the bad reviews afterwards make the workers who worked on it feel sad. :("

Which, like, companies have been hiding behind that reasoning for ages. Curiously, the author never offers....any reasons or stories. WHY did working on it impact you so much? What set it apart, what were the people like, what did you like about working there, why are you so passionate about it even a year later? There's nothing, just a generic sort of "We worked hard." and "We're sad it's gone." Why? How? What happened? The video you're obviously writing this in response to is filled with personal anecdotes and stories, it's the backbone of the video! Again, you need to give us something to show your humanity!

Especially when you consider that Nicholson repeatedly points out that the only highlight about her experience, the only thing that kept the damn thing going was the workers.

She had nothing but praise for them, and nothing but contempt for the higher ups who wasted and abused that enthusiasm, to the point where one of her last points was "Hey, Disney is basically exploiting labor."

Much like Jenny, I'm also not condemning anyone who had a good time working there. Good! If you were having a good time at work, that's great. If you have good memories about the people, awesome. But I'll note two things:

a) That doesn't meant you weren't being exploited, and

b) That doesn't mean you have to be a useful idiot for the corporation you worked for afterwards.

I'm not conspiracy brained enough to go "Oh, Disney TOTALLY forced this article into being.", because a cursory examination of the author's prior works and such suggests a lifelong passion for Star Wars, she did work at the hotel, and she's a Star Wars Editor (whatever THAT means in this day and age) for Screen Rant. Apparently one of the heads of Screen Rant says that Disney had no hand in it either.

Though, I can see why people would think that way. It READS like a press release, not something a normal human being would write about an experience they feel passionate about.

[callsignseagull]

all you had to do was stay ✪ part 1

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x fem!reader

Summary: Six years ago Jake hit your life like a hurricane. In and out in a matter of weeks. You thought after you get over the disappointment of him leaving without saying a word you’d never think of him again. But then two pink lines change your life forever. Now he’s back and still has no idea that the little girl by your side is his daughter. 

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: Not much, honestly. maybe just a little angsty 

A/N: Here’s part one!! I hope you like it! It's a little on the short side but hopefully there'll be more soon :))

feedback is always appreciated :)

series masterlist

You’re sitting at the dining table, scrolling through your emails with one hand while holding your toast in the other. You’ve become a pro at multitasking.

“Mommy? Do you think they have churros at that market Penny is taking me?” Your daughter is munching on a toast of her own, crumbs sticking to her cheeks. 

“I’m sure.” You smile. “And I’m sure if you ask nicely, Penny will get some for you.” 

She grins before taking another bite of her toast and you can’t help but reach over and give her a kiss. You can’t believe how fast she’s growing up. At now five years old, Josie is your entire world. As shocked and scared as you were when you found out about her, she’s the best thing that ever happened to you.   

Turning back to your laptop, you flag the most important mails so you don’t forget to follow up on them later. The time before one of your books releases is always the most stressful, but you wouldn’t change it for the world. You got so lucky. 

You wrote and illustrated your first children’s book while being pregnant with Josie, it gave you something to distract yourself from all the changes you were going through. And then you posted about it online, it went sort of viral and then a publisher reached out to you. The book was an immediate success. It’s been translated in several different languages and they even make stuffed toys and board games based on your characters now.

And now you’re about to release the fifth book in the series. It’s hard to churn one out every year, but you’re scared that if you drop the ball, all you’ve worked for will be ripped from you. You want to give Josie the best life possible, so you work your ass off. 

When both of you are finished with breakfast, you clean up the table and tell Josie to put her shoes on. As you slip into your own shoes, you whistle for Muffin, the four year old poodle mix you adopted from a rescue last year, and he comes trotting around the corner moments later. 

After checking you’ve got everything you lock the front for behind you, hold your free hand out for Josie to take, the other holding Muffin’s leash. Then, the three of you take on the short walk towards the Hard Deck. 

Penny Benjamin has been a life saver these last few years, throughout your pregnancy and beyond. She’s been there for you whenever you needed her, day or night. You don’t know what you would’ve done without her. And now she’s somewhat of a grandma figure for Josie, and she’s probably the hottest grandma ever. Her and Amelia are the closest thing you and Josie have to a family, besides each other.

Today, Penny is taking Josie to a Food Market while you look after the bar for a couple hours. It’s still early and not many people will be there, but you’re glad you can help Penny out while still getting some work done for yourself.

“There’s my favourite little family!” Penny greets, as you enter the Hard Deck, her arms wide and Josie immediately runs towards her and into her arms. 

“Hi Penny! I’m so excited! Are you excited? Do you think they’ll have churros?” Josie rambles with glistening eyes, her dimples on show and for a moment you’re reminded of how much she looks like her father. You manage to push thoughts of him to the back of your mind most days but sometimes you just look at her and all you can see is him. 

You haven’t tried reaching out to him again. You know you should’ve. But it felt wrong sending him a text telling him he’ll be a father. And you doubted that he even wanted to be a father. So you decided you’d spare yourself, and your daughter, the heartache. Josie hasn’t asked about her father much, but when she did you told her that he’s a pilot in the Navy and that he loves her. You never want her to feel like she’s not wanted.  

✩̿✪̿✩̿

Jake knew he’d come back eventually. He just didn’t know it would take him so long. But if he was being honest with himself he knew that if it wasn’t for him being called back to Top Gun for some top secret mission he still wouldn’t have had the guts to come back here. Hell, he’s been living only a few hours north from here for the past couple of years. He easily could’ve made the drive down. But he’d always been good at coming up with excuses. But now he couldn’t. Not when he’s in the same city for the next few months. He’d constantly be looking for you. Seeing you in every face that just slightly resembled yours. He didn’t even know if you still lived in San Diego, though. But going to the Hard Deck seemed like the logical thing to do. Even if you weren’t working there anymore, Penny Benjamin might know where to find you.

As soon as he enters the bar he’s hit with nostalgia. Nothing has changed. He takes a look around and pretends he’s the six years younger version of himself, still naive enough to think that nothing will ever rattle him.

Since it’s still the early afternoon it’s not busy and there seems to be no one behind the bar right now. With a deep sigh he sits down in one of the barstools, then notices someone crouched down behind the bar, looking for something in a cabinet. 

His breath catches in his throat. It can’t be.

He hasn’t seen you in six years, and even though he can’t see your face right now, he knows it’s you. He can feel it. 

Now he really feels like he’s been transported back six years in time. You haven’t noticed him yet and he can’t hold back the words that are going through his head.

“Can you pinch me? Because I can’t believe you’re real. I thought I was dreaming.” He knows it’s a bit of a dick move, throwing his first thing he ever said to you at you now. But maybe you’re not as mad at him as he thinks? What if you don’t even remember him? He hadn’t thought about that. Fuck. 

✩̿✪̿✩̿

You almost hit your head when you spin around towards him.  This can’t be real.

“What are you doing here?” You must look like you’ve seen a ghost, but it honestly feels like that. He looks the same but he doesn’t. He’s filled out more, even though you never thought it possible. And he just looks overall more mature. It suits him. 

“What am I doing here in San Diego or what am I doing here at the Hard Deck?” He tilts his head, a small smile on his face. You don’t grace that with an answer, he knows what you mean. The smile slowly drops from his face, and there’s a seriousness in his eyes that makes it impossible for you to look away. “I was hoping to find you here.”

“Why?”

“I want to apologise.” 

That makes you straighten up. Apologise? After six years? 

“I was an absolute asshole to you and you didn’t deserve that. I was going through a rough time and I took all that out on you. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I just left without saying goodbye. I got called on a mission right after graduation and when I got back I figured you didn’t wanna talk to me ever again.”

His words take your breath away for a moment. Never in a million years did you think you’d get an apology from Jake. 

“I-,” you stop, wringing your hands together. At a loss for words.

“You don’t have to say anything.” He smiles softly. “I’m in town for a while. Maybe we could … I don’t know … hang out sometime? Catch up?”

As much as you want to protect your heart and tell him no, you know you have to catch him up on what happened after he left. It’s not right to keep him in the dark now that he’s here. You know that.

“You don’t have to answer me now. Take some time to think about it. I’m sure you’re busy, with your books being such a success. And you’re still working at the bar?” He looks curious and you’re a little shocked.

“I’m just helping Penny out for a couple hours. You know about my books?”

“My nieces love them.” He grins. “I have to read them to them before bed every time I’ve got time to visit them down in Texas.”

“You’ve got nieces?” 

“Yeah, they’re two and four. Love them to death. My Mom’s been begging for grandkids for years and she’s so happy to dote on them every chance she gets.”

Your heart constricts. Two and four. They’re younger than Josie. Not only does she have cousins somewhere in Texas, she’s also the first grandchild to a woman who’s never met her. Who doesn’t even know about her. But you don’t know much about Jake’s parents. Maybe she wouldn’t be the biggest fan of a child out of wedlock. 

You glance at Jakes hand. No ring. 

You muster up the courage to your next question. You know the answer might hurt, but you have to ask him.

“Any kids of your own?” 

Jake shakes his head with a laugh, “No, not that I know of.” 

It’s just a joke but you feel like it makes your heart stop before it starts beating rapidly in your chest. This is it. There’s no better moment than now. Just get it over with.

“Jake, I-“ 

“Mommy!” Josie comes barreling through the door, Penny a few steps behind her. “Penny let me have Churros and they were delicious!” She wraps her arms around you and looks up at you with her sparkling green eyes.

Maybe you don’t even have to tell him. You glance at Jake and he looks a bit taken aback.

“Yeah, honey? Did you have fun?”

“So much fun!” She grins, showing off her deep dimples, and you run a hand over her head before giving her a kiss. You manage to look at Penny, who’s glaring at Jake. It takes all your courage to look at him. He doesn’t even seem to notice Penny, his eyes focused on the girl in your arms. You can’t read the expression on his face, has he already realised how much she looks like him? 

“Well, I guess I don’t have to ask you if you have any.” He smiles, his lips tight, then looks at your daughter and his smile turns more genuine. “What’s your name, sweetheart?” Hearing the term of endearment again makes goosebumps raise on your skin. 

“Josie.” She’s not a shy kid, so you’re not surprised when she looks at him curiously and asks, “Who are you?” 

Your grip tightens around her but before you can say anything he replies, “I’m an old friend of your Mom.” 

You shoot him a really? look but he just shrugs his shoulders. Well, you guess it is inappropriate to tell your five-year-old daughter that he used to fuck your brains out. 

“Thanks for helping out.” Penny says, “Both of you.” She winks at Josie. 

Muffin comes trotting around the corner and Josie let’s go of you to throw her arms around the poodle mix. “I missed you!” While Muffin covers your daughter’s face in slobber, Jake huffs out a laugh. 

“A dog, too, huh?” 

You shrug your shoulders, not sure what to say to that. 

“Does the house have a picket fence?” It’s a bit of a loaded question, you think, but you don’t read too much into it and reply truthfully, thinking about the little house you put a down payment on a couple years ago. 

“It does.” 

Jake rubs his chest and gives you that tight lipped smile again. “I’m happy for you.” 

He means it, you can tell. “Thanks, Jake.”

He gets up from his seat at the bar, knocks on the wood a couple times then says. “Your husband is one lucky guy.” Another tight lipped smile.

“My wha-?” 

“I’ll see you around.” He nods then turns on his heel and before you can comprehend what just happened he’s gone.

“Mommy, why did he say your husband? You don’t have one of those.” 

“I don’t know, honey.” 

You watch him cross the parking lot to his car and it dawns on you that he thinks that all your dreams came true:  become a full time illustrator, fall in love, get married, adopt a dog, buy a little house, have kids.

Little does he know that you fell in love with him, had his kid, and did all of the rest on your own. 

taglist: @annathesillyfriend ✪ @lovebittenbyevans ✪ @heyhihellowhatsup0 ✪ @one-sweet-gubler ✪ @emorychase ✪ @wooya1224 ✪ @novagreen04 ✪ @iammirrorball ✪ @lolcaca ✪ @caitsymichelle13 ✪ @soulmates8 ✪ @soleilgrec ✪ @lilylilyyyyyy ✪ @winters-queen ✪ @i0veless ✪ @the-romanian-is-bae ✪ @mandyppp ✪ @dempy ✪ @mizuki80 ✪ @lumpypoll ✪ @averyhotchner ✪ @babyice1274 ✪ @captain-fandomwriter58 ✪ @hangmanscoming ✪ @caidi-paris ✪ @linkpk88 ✪ @djs8891 ✪ @xomrsalliej4787xo ✪ @lnmp89 ✪ @startrekfangirl2233 ✪ @gigisimsonmars ✪ @merishfit ✪ @clancycucumber230 ✪ @sky0401 ✪ @emilyoflanternhill ✪ @roostersforevergirl ✪ @celestialeviereads ✪ @blackwidownat2814 ✪ @impossiblebagelcowboyfreak ✪ @grxcisxhy-wp ✪ @atarmychick007 ✪ @dakotakazansky ✪ @fulla02 ✪ @alana4610 ✪ @callsignwidow ✪ @memoriesat30 ✪ @ebonyhogan24

[seat-safety-switch]

All across the world, there is a rush by marketeers to sell you new appliances. The last couple decades of increasingly-shitty build quality have failed to plump their margins enough, so now they're trying the carrot. Now, when you buy a refrigerator, it can be connected to the internet. Some ovens need to be connected to the internet, or they can't cook a turkey. If you went back in time and explained this state of affairs to someone in the Victorian Era, they'd shoot you.

When did our civilization lose its inherent distrust of machines pretending to be human? Half of our most popular science-fiction franchises are about a glad-handing, smiling robot trying to steal or murder our children. Now we're going to let a refrigerator lock down access to nutrients for those same children, because it couldn't resolve DNS? No more of this, I say, which is why I've started a new business.

Here at Appliance Endumbinators, our crack team of computer scientists, computer engineers, and angry people with hammers will work hard to remove any semblance of "intelligence" from your appliances. If you bought a new barbecue and it refuses to work unless you use factory-authorized propane, we'll rip its circuit boards out and splice together the miles of wiring that make up its nervous system until it gives in. We'll find your car and use an angle grinder to cut out the part of its positronic brain that obeys speed limits. And just for laughs, we'll duct-tape a thrift store alarm clock to your coffee maker, so that it can still have your brew ready for breakfast.

Book us in now, before the machines have their way with you. Become the master of your own home, comfortable with the most idiotic of automatons as you watch your neighbours suffer with thousand-page manuals, helpless service calls, and outsourced below-minimum-wage customer support just to toast a waffle.

[aanoia]

rip james potter I believe he would’ve loved taylor swift and for some reason I associate him specifically with London Boy so can you write something w that plsss I love ur writing

YES james would be a swiftie and everyone knows it. I rly hope I did this justice bc there are so so many lyrics, t swizzle makes it so difficult sometimes

London Boy

James Potter x reader words; 2255 song; London Boy by T Swizzle warnings; none rly, js a douchy Ravenclaw my masterlist Remus is Elvis, James is Taylor, Sirius is Lana. PROVE ME WRONG. u cant. anyway, i tried making pancakes for breakfast (at 1pm) and it did not go well. I used three pans and burned multiple pancakes but oh well if you love a song, the marauders, and my writing, request a song fic and your wish shall be my command. HAVE FUN

(I've used this gif so many times and idec)

(We can go driving in, on my scooter)

(Ah, you know, just 'round London)

I love my hometown

As much as Motown, I love SoCal

And you know I love Springsteen

Faded blue jeans, Tennessee whiskey

Transfering from Ilvermorny to Hogwarts was quite a difficult thing to do. The culture shock, the stares, the comments on your accent, everything. It was so much different and dare I say, maybe even better. But that’s mostly because every pretty girl and cute boy you saw had such a dreamy accent you fell in love on the spot.

But something happened, I heard him laughing

I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent

I abruptly stopped walking as the most beautiful sound on Earth filled my ears.

“Y/n?” My new friend and roommate, Lily, asked.

“Who is making that sound?” I asked, peaking around the corner. His bright smile and adorable dimples made my heart speed up as Lily looked over my shoulder and scoffed.

“He’s not worth it, Y/n. That’s James Potter, he's a total dick.” She said, pulling me back  but I froze again as his voice filled my ears. I looked at Lily with an open mouthed smile and she shook her head at me, fighting off a small smile of her own and grabbing my arm, dragging me away.

They say home is where the heart is

But that's not where mine lives

“Oh, how the tables have turned.” Sirius joked as Y/n sauntered away, her usual smirk still on her face despite being rejected for the thousandth time. 

James threw a piece of toast at his face, “Shut it, Pads.”

“I don’t understand.” Remus started. “You obviously like her, why do you keep saying no?”

“He likes the attention, duh.” Peter spoke up with a teasing smile. James rolled his eyes but didn’t deny it.

“Maybe it is a little nice to finally receive the same attention I used to give out, but is that so wrong?” He asked and Remus shook his head.

“Well, I think it is. It wore down on you, Prongs. And you know it. Eventually, it started to hurt you a lot, who says that’ll be different for her?”

You know I love a London boy

I enjoy walking Camden Market in the afternoon

“I’m actually really glad I finally said yes.” James said as we sat in the Three Broomsticks.

I snorted, “Me too. We Americans know how to date, alright. With me, you’ll have the time of your life.”

He likes my American smile

Like a child when our eyes meet

Darling, I fancy you

I smiled widely as I made eye contact with James from across the classroom. He blushed and winked, before scribbling down on a piece of parchment, balling it up and throwing it to me. I unfolded the paper and smiled at the writing. Wanna go out? Yes ☐, Yes ☐ I laughed quietly and wrote down my answer, throwing it back and almost hitting another student in the head.

He frowned at my answer and I winked back, making him shake his head with a silent laugh. 

Nope ☑

Took me back to Highgate

Met all of his best mates

“I will beat you, silly American.” Sirius seethed, scanning the chess board as I sat, smirking widely. 

“Nah, you won’t, Brit.”

“Y/n, you should really give me your notes for Potions, I fell asleep.” Peter said with a sheepish smile and I motioned towards my bag, not taking my eyes off the board.

“I finished the book.” Remus said, coming into the common room. “Thank you for letting me borrow it, Y/n. It was a truly amazing book, and your annotations made it even better.” He said, setting the book on my bag and I gave him a thumbs up.

My smirk grew as I met Sirius’ eyes.

He shook his head, “Don’t you dare.” I opened my mouth. “Y/n, don’t say it. Don’t do i-”

“Checkmate.” He groaned in annoyance and flipped the board. I giggled as I picked up the pieces, proud of my win. Little did I know James watched me with a fond smile as he witnessed me interact so greatly with the people that meant most to him. Next stop, his parents.

So I guess all the rumors are true

You know I love a London boy

Boy, I fancy you, ooh

“Hello, dears. Come on in.” James’ mother said with a warm smile and I nodded, stepping into her cozy home with a smile.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.” I said kindly and she waved me off.

“Please, the pleasure is all mine. When I found out my little Jamesie finally got himself a girlfriend I was ecstatic!” She giggled and James groaned.

“Mom!”

And now I love high tea

Stories from Uni and the West End

You can find me in the pub

We are watchin' rugby with his school friends

“No, no, no- ahh damnit.” I groaned, the Quidditch team I rooted for losing the game in anger as Sirius cheered.

“Yes! Take that, Miss America!” Sirius boasted and I rolled my eyes, shoving his shoulder roughly.

“You’re an ass, Black.” I said with a smile so he knew I was joking.

Show me a grey sky, a rainy cab ride

Babes, don't threaten me with a good time

“Let’s dance.” I said, standing up from the ground and brushing myself off before offering my hand to James.

“In the rain?” He asked, his eyebrows raised.

I nodded, “Yes. In the rain.”

James laughed and shook his head before taking my hand and lifting himself up. “May I have this dance, m’lady?”

“Why of course, kind sir.”

They say home is where the heart is

But God, I love the English (THE BEST PART OF THIS SONG)

“You guys, I’m gonna be so for real with y’all here, I will never get tired of hearing your voices.” I said seriously and everyone burst out laughing. I shrugged, “I’m serious-” I pointed at Sirius who opened his mouth to make a joke. “Don’t even think about it. But, if I could listen to you guys 24/7 I would, other than Sirius of course. His voice makes me wanna stab my ears with a butter knife.”

“You’re mean.” Sirius pouted and James placed a big kiss on my cheek with a proud smile.

“That’s my girl.” He said proudly.

You know I love a London boy

I enjoy nights in Brixton, Shoreditch in the afternoon

He likes my American smile

Like a child when our eyes meet

Darling, I fancy you

“Dude.” I said to James as we laid on our stomachs in the common room, the fire crackling next to us.

“Dude.” He responded, a lazy smile on his lips.

“I like, hm, how do you English put it?” I feigned thinking for a second and gasped. “Ah yes, I like, fancy you or something.”

“Or something?” He asked.

“Mhm.” I hummed.

He lifted up on his elbows, resting his chin in his hand. “Well, I like, fancy you or something, too.”

Took me back to Highgate

Met all of his best mates

So I guess all the rumors are true

You know I love a London boy

Boy, I fancy you

“Do you miss Ilvermorny?” James asked quietly as we cuddled on his bed, the only sound being Sirius’ soft snores.

“Sometimes. I miss my friends mostly.” I told him and he hummed.

“If you had the opportunity to go back, would you? Like completely move back and start attending Ilvermorny again.”

I thought about it for a second before shaking my head, despite James not being able to see it, “No. I wouldn’t. There’s this boy here-”

James laughed quietly, “Oh really?”

“Yep.”

“Tell me about him.”

“Well, he’s super super cute and his voice is music to my ears, I’m telling you. He’s also super good at Quidditch and because of that he's got thunder thighs and thick thighs save lives.” He laughed, trying to muffle it so his friends didn’t wake up. “He’s just amazing. So I wouldn’t want to leave him, or any of the new friends I’ve made.”

So please show me Hackney

Doesn't have to be Louis V up on Bond Street

Just wanna be with you

Wanna be with you

“Uh, excuse me, why are you bothering my girlfriend?” James asked, wrapping his arm around my waist and I deflated, instantly feeling comfort.

The Ravenclaw boy in front of us scratched the back of his neck, “Sorry. Didn’t know you guys were dating, though, Y/n, you could do much better than this Gryffindor slug.” He shrugged and James tensed.

“You littl-”

“James.” I said, placing my hand on his arm. “He’s not worth it, take a chill pill.” 

“Yeah, that’s right. Listen to your little bitch.” The Ravenclaw said, turning around and walking back to his snickering friends. 

I pulled my wand out quickly and muttered a quick spell at his back, causing him to fly forward, knocking over him and his friends who all groaned in pain on the floor. I looked up with a smirk and made eye contact with Professor McGonagall, my smile dropped. She glanced at the knocked over boys and then back at me, winking and walking away as if she didn’t see a thing.

Stick with me, I'm your queen

Like a Tennessee Stella McCartney on the Heath

Just wanna be with you (wanna be with you)

Wanna be with you (oh)

“Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for.” Dumbledore said with a smile on the stage. “The Yule King and Queen.” He opened the envelope slowly, dragging it out as long as he could. His smile widened as he read the winners. “James Potter and Y/n L/n, except, Y/n is our King and James is our Queen.” The students laughed loudly as James and I high fived, planning it all along.

We walked onto the stage and got our crowns before bowing dramatically to the crowd who chanted our names, hands in the air. Dumbledore shook his head in amusement, his own laughs falling from his lips.

“Oh, children.” He muttered, walking off the stage.

'Cause you know I love a London boy

I enjoy walking Soho, drinking in the afternoon (yeah)

He likes my American smile

Like a child when our eyes meet

Darling, I fancy you (you)

“Are you ready?” James asked, mounting his broom and giving me his signature smile.

I shook my head, “Nope. I don’t trust you one bit, James. You’re gonna kill me, I’ve seen how you fly.” I said, taking a step away from the broom.

James held out his hand, “Come on, don’t be a wuss.” I sighed and got on the broom behind him, immediately wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. He laughed and flew up in the air. “This is something I could get used to.” He said and I could hear his smile.

“Me too.”

Took me back to Highgate

Met all of his best mates

So I guess all the rumors are true (yeah)

You know I love a London boy (oh)

Boy (oh), I fancy you (I fancy you)

“So, James, will you marry me?” I said on my knee and James snorted.

“You’re such a dork.” He teased and also got down on one knee, pulling a small box from his pocket.

“No shit, you copycat.” I said with a smile as he opened the box to reveal a beautiful ruby ring.

“Y/n, I’ll marry you if you marry me.” He said and I nodded.

“It’s a deal then.” 

So please show me Hackney

Doesn't have to be Louis V up on Bond Street

Just wanna be with you

(Boy, boy, I fancy you, oh whoa, oh, oh)

“Hello, Harry.” I whispered quietly to my newborn, gently brushing the little bit of hair he had out of his face.

“You two are so beautiful.” James said from my side, admiring his son. 

“He’s gonna be British.” I said with a smile and James snorted. “I’ve always wanted a little British baby.”

“You are so weird.” 

I kissed James, “You love me.”

“I do.”

Stick with me, I'm your queen

Like a Tennessee Stella McCartney on the Heath

Just wanna be with you

(Wanna be with you)

(I fancy you, yeah, I fancy you)

“Bye, Harry! Have fun!” I yelled out, pushing down my tears as eleven year old Harry boarded the Hogwarts express for the first time. “Be safe!” I sighed as the train took off and spun the ring on my finger.

“I hope those twins let him help with pranks. You know I slipped them the map.” James said from beside me and I looked at him with wide eyes.

“You what?”

He nodded proudly, “Yep. I slipped the Marauders map into George's bag. Or was it Fred? You know, I really have no clue with those two.”

I snorted and patted his shoulder, turning around to walk out of the platform, but yelped as I was pulled back. James turned me around and planted a fat kiss on my lips, a smile evident on his face.

He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine, “Let’s have another kid.”

I snorted, “Two of you are enough, I don’t need a third.”

“That sounded like a yes.”

“It sounded like a no.”

It apparently was a yes.

Ooh wooh ooh

taglist (if u wanna be added comment);

@loving-and-dreaming @1lellykins @poetrypirate

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

Kaveh and Alhaitham, Sumeru Bulletin Board (over)Analysis: Part 2

(This is a reworked excerpt taken from my Haikaveh essay! If you're interested you can check it out here or as a pdf <3)

In Kaveh and Alhaitham's discourse on the discussion board of Puspa's Café, the two disagree over the subjective value of art. This topic is of particular significance to Kaveh, as it is a key element of his character design in respect of his career as an architect, being an artist himself, as well as it being highlighted within his Hangout. This is one of the few instances we receive of Alhaitham and Kaveh discussing the arts with each other to such an extent, so it is interesting to gauge Alhaitham's viewpoint.

Alhaitham holds a pragmatic view of art as a recourse, aligning it with any other material good to be produced, whereas Kaveh's viewpoint aligns with his sensibility, in that it is the meaning of art that trumps its material price and market demand. This makes sense considering their mirroring perspectives, in which Kaveh is described to be the opposing sensibility to Alhaitham's rationality, and in that human feeling is contrasted with practical knowledge.

The idea of correctness is alluded to here with the 'clash'ing of theories and Alhaitham refusing to pay for Kaveh's tab due to Kaveh disagreeing with his 'materialist' perspective. Since there is no definitive answer to their debate, there is no objective correct opinion offered. This idea of 'correctness' is a extremely relevant to Alhaitham and Kaveh's relationship, being a reason for their past argument and the misalignment of their once seemingly harmonised views, manifesting in their joint thesis of language and architecture. Now, however, the two are on differing wavelengths and appear to assert their opinions as the objective truth over the other (which is further discussed here). This ultimately acts as a detriment since Alhaitham asserts in A Parade of Providence that sometimes correctness can mean 'nothing at all'.

Not only is this particular board post interesting in regards to the differences in Kaveh and Alhaitham's characters and their approaches to life, it is also relevant in establishing their rapport with each other.

On a surface read, Alhaitham and Kaveh’s relationship can be simplified as “terrible” (as described by Geoff in A Toast To Victory), as in the two do not get along - but this in itself is a contradiction to Alhaitham’s inconvenience-avoiding nature, as by this he would gain nothing by allowing Kaveh to live with him.

Alongside their situation as roommates, it is revealed here that Alhaitham usually pays for Kaveh’s tab in Puspa’s Café, as well as buying crates of wine for the two of them from Lambad’s Tavern (as established in the Mahamata Bulletin Board). Whilst this is established, what is not established is what Alhaitham receives from these actions in return.

The implication is that Alhaitham does so without any expectations of reciprocation – as follows with his ‘rule’ of not keeping “track” of favours, so long as they do not inconvenience him. Alhaitham offering to buy Kaveh drinks in reference to a hypothetical furniture shopping excursion is referred to as a “loan” by Alhaitham, however, this does not mean that his paying off Kaveh’s tabs counts as the same.

When Alhaitham declines paying for Kaveh’s tab, it is because they have disagreed over their philosophies, and Alhaitham does so to ground Kaveh’s perceived idealism – referring to Kaveh as “spoiled”. Since Kaveh having to pay for his own tab is seen by Alhaitham as a sort of retribution, this shows that Kaveh typically does not have to pay Alhaitham back. This implies that the other “usual” instances of Alhaitham paying Kaveh’s tab are not loans, and are actions that are performed without expectation of reciprocation. Even within the proposed hypothetical scenario of Alhaitham buying drinks for Kaveh as a “loan” (as established in Alhaitham's story quest), he does not turn down Kaveh’s offer to go furniture shopping, and instead chastises Kaveh for pretending he is not in debt and having to live with Alhaitham.

These voluntary actions Alhaitham performs for Kaveh demonstrate the lack of inconvenience Kaveh imposes onto his life, and therefore rebuke the argument that Alhaitham actively dislikes Kaveh.

This discord of viewpoints and the lack of compromise demonstrated here as present within their two other bulletin board messages, albeit in different ways. The question ultimately posed ties in with the core question of their character design, most accurately put across in Kaveh’s Character Story 5, can their mirroring viewpoints ever align? Can they restore the harmony once established between them? Can the two ever understand each other?

[arecaceae175]

Loft Gets to Have One (1) Nice Day

Summary: Loft and the very good extremely nice day. Featuring Groose, Zelda, and a board game. Written for the Bonus Links monthly prompt

Based on @bonus-links by @ezdotjpg

1251 words, fluff and humor (hopefully)

As soon as Loft slips into the slightest bit of wakefulness, he knows it’s going to be a good day. The aches and general fuzziness of his body from the past week seem to have calmed down to its normal, manageable level. He curls onto his side and pulls the soft blanket tighter around his shoulders, breathing deeply and luxuriating in the sweet smell of his partners. 

He must have dozed off; the next thing he knows, he wakes to the dip of the bed behind him. Loft groans half-heartedly and muzzles into the pillow. An arm goes over his stomach, then he feels Zelda’s soft hair tickling his cheek. 

“Morning, love,” Zelda whispers. 

She presses a soft kiss to his cheek. Loft tries to turn and catch her lips, but he’s too slow. He doesn’t mind, because Zelda laughs lightly at his attempt. The sound is music to his ears. 

“How are you feeling?” Zelda asks. 

Loft hums in content. “So much better.”

“That’s great,” Zelda says. Loft flings his arm around to try to find her for another hug, but it flops on the blankets. Zelda must have moved. 

“Ready to get up? Groose almost has breakfast ready,” Zelda says. 

“I’m coming,” Loft mumbles, voice muffled by the mountain of blankets on top of him. He does not move.

Zelda rolls her eyes and moves to the end of the bed. She gets a mischievous look in her eyes, and Loft doesn’t have time to react before she is yanking the blankets off the bed. Loft makes a noise that’s somewhere between a laugh and a groan. He sits up and pouts. It’s hard to keep the pout, though, when he sees Zelda stifling her laugh behind her hand. 

Loft lasts all of three seconds before his resolve crumbles and he giggles. 

“It always works,” Zelda says with a shrug. 

Loft rolls his eyes fondly and holds his arms out. “I’m cold, now.”

Zelda jumps onto the bed and pulls Loft into her arms. He sighs fondly and rests his head in the crook of her neck. Mouth against her skin, he mumbles, “That always works too.”

Zelda laughs and pushes him away. Loft lets himself fall backwards onto the pillows, then rolls to the side and lets his feet slide off the bed. The momentum pulls him into a sitting position, and Loft waits patiently as the rushing in his head calms and he feels up to standing. 

“You two better hurry! I’ll eat all this without ya!” Groose calls from the kitchen. 

Loft quickly rolls onto his feet. “I’m up!” 

Loft drags himself to the kitchen and flops down in his chair, sighing in contentment. Groose and Zelda had crafted it specially for him. It has support in all the right places and extra cushioning for days when everything hurts. Loft feels their love pouring out of it every time he touches the polished wood. 

Groose carried three plates to the table, passed them out, then sat down. He rubbed his hands together excitedly as he dug into the meal. Zelda rolled her eyes with fondness and ate hers with much more grace. Loft rested his head on one hand as he picked up his toast. 

“What’s the plan for today?” Loft asks. 

“Nothing until the planning meeting this afternoon. We have the morning to ourselves. See why I wanted you up?” Zelda says with a smile. 

Loft returns it happily. A day spent with his partners is something he will never cease to cherish. 

“I got a new game at the market last week,” Groose says. “It seems fun.”

“Let’s try it!” Loft says. 

“A board game? Oh, you’re going down,” Zelda says. Loft takes it as the challenge it is.

~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~

“Link. My dearest angel. The light of my life. The sun in my sky, the moon in my eyes,” Groose says, leaning across the table with one hand extending to Loft. 

“Groose.”

“Will you make the trade?” Groose asks. 

Loft rests his elbows on the table and rests his chin on his hands. He gives Groose the biggest eyes, the softest smile he can. He tilts his head to the side just so, the way he knows Groose likes. 

“No,” Loft says, voice dripping with sickly sweetness. 

Groose’s mouth falls open in shock, and he ever so slowly collapses onto the table. He moans in agony. 

“There, there,” Zelda says, patting Groose’s shoulder. “It’ll all be okay.”

Groose turns his head to look at Zelda. “Will you trade with me?”

Zelda smiles sadly. “No."

Groose puts his face back down on the table. 

“That’s the end of your turn, then,” Zelda says gleefully. She hands the dice to Loft. 

Loft takes it angrily and shakes it around in his hand. He really needs a four. 

“Two, two, two, two,” Zelda chants. “Come on.”

Loft bites his lip as he rolls the rice in his hands. He glances at Zelda, eagerly watching him like he is easy prey, then at Groose, who has both hands braced against the table and is leaning back slightly, with a look of mild terror on his face. 

Loft sucks in a breath. He traveled the world and defeated a God. He’s the Goddesses’ Chosen Hero of Courage.

He can defeat his girlfriend in this damned board game. 

Loft opens his hand and rolls the dice. It bounces and spins across the table, past Loft’s game piece, past Groose’s, past Zelda’s far ahead. The bouncing stops, the spinning slows. All three lean forward. 

The die tilts, and lands on… two. 

“No!” Loft yells, and collapses onto the table. 

“Yes!” Zelda leaps to her feet, arms pumping victoriously in the air. She bounces for a moment, then leans over the board and moves the game pieces. 

“You got a two, so- you don’t mind me moving your piece, love?” Zelda asks, voice high with joy. 

Loft groans. 

“So you land here, which sends you here, which lets me move here and collect and win the game!” Zelda slams her piece on the WIN square. Loft groans some more. 

“You’re evil,” Loft mumbles into his sleeve. 

Zelda flips her ponytail over her shoulder and rests one hand on her hip. “It’s just skill. You wish you had it.”

Groose abruptly rises to his feet and sweeps his arm across the table, gathering all the game pieces into the case. He tucks it haphazardly under his arm and stomps to the door to put on his shoes. 

“Hey, where are you going?” Loft asks. 

“I need to collect firewood,” Groose says. 

“What are you doing with the game?” Zelda asks. Her voice is still tinged with her smile. It makes Loft vaguely nauseous. 

Groose turns around to face them and looks Zelda straight in the eye. “I told you. I’m collecting firewood. As head of this household, I’m banning this game and condemning it to a fiery death.”

“Woah, woah, woah, slow down,” Zelda says. “Who made you the head of the household?”

They erupt into chaos. 

~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~

Many months later, in an era Loft doesn’t know, he and his new companions are having a day of rest and relaxation. Someone suggests a board game, which Loft hastily agrees to. Mage pulls out the game, and Loft freezes. 

“Loft?” Wake asks. 

Loft shakes his head and stands from the table. 

“Nope,” Loft says, and turns to leave. 

“What’s wrong?” Wolf asks. 

“Sorry. I’m banned from playing that game. It turns me into a ‘power-crazed demon,’ apparently, according to my boyfriend. And my girlfriend. Like they can talk,” Loft says. He turns and walks out the door. 

“Oh, and try not to roll a two. Best of luck. I’ll see the survivors at dinner.”

[winnipegwinterpeg]

Winnipeg Tribune, June 6th, 1934

Today marks the 90th anniversary of the Battle at Old Market Square; on the evening of June 5th, 1934, 75 to 100 members of the Canadian Nationalist Party, a fascist, antisemitic group gathered to hold a rally, only to be confronted by a group of about 500 anti-fascist protestors. The protestors reportedly sang The Internationale and attacked, ripping down boards to use as weapons and hurling flower pots from the market stalls; the Fascists had brought billy clubs with them, but they were outnumbered 5 to 1.

At least 20 people were reported injured, with four people being admitted to hospital; nine men were arrested, seven of whom were members of the Canadian Nationalist Party, the other two reportedly Communists.

After the Battle at Old Market Square, "no fascist group in the city would ever find itself in a position to mount such public campaigns of discrimination". In fact, possibly the Canadian Nationalist Party’s biggest mark on history is that their vile hatred and propaganda helped spur on the passing of the Manitoba Defamation Act, the first group libel law in Canada and the beginning of Canada’s hate speech laws.

So, 90 years after the Battle at Old Market Square, a toast to those 500 protesters, who took a stand against Nazis and fascists, and made a difference in their city

[banhbotloc]

[ID: 3 photos of making mushroom and egg toast, showing 1) a cutting board with mushrooms, purple garlic, and a shallot, 2) a frying pan with sauteed mushrooms and two fried eggs, and 3) a plate with two pieces of toast piled with sauteed mushrooms and a fried egg each, plus many cherries next to the toast. End ID]

an extremely farmer's market meal featuring purple hardneck garlic + tart cherries + crimini and shiitake mushrooms from the market this morning, plus a shallot + fried eggs + toast + honey diijon + salt and pepper and maggi sauce for my favorite meal i've made this summer, inspired by lucy knisley's sauteed mushroom recipes + leanne brown's things on toast

[rose-henry]

stressed+excited+happy+nervous+restless but mostly excited. it’s been a chaotic few days but I’m ready and at peace with this 7 month journey in front of me. feeling so so privileged to be able to live my life like this and witness whatever I’m about to witness :)

today april made brekkie for us!! challah french toast, maple butter and coffees at 8am 😍 bless her soul for getting up and doing this on the first day on school holidays

then maddy was the best person in the world as usual and helped me organise my life by printing all my important travel documents for me and then helping me pack all my last things and clean my whole room to be the guest room in the house (!) alex came over and we had pesto pasta and finished the packing and cleaning and they made me so calm 🥰

then I had a little mandatory in person exchange pre-departure session at uni until 4:15 (getting ready to leave the house at 6pm to go to the airport) and I had a rapid 30 minutes at home before our last family dinner. I had a breakdown and cried in my room (for one last time) about leaving everything behind for so long but then I realised how lucky I am and I still wouldn’t change my travel plans if I could… I���m content with my plans and there was no need to cry! so silly…

at the airport thien starting calling and texting me and he was stuck in tahiti and there was all this drama so there was a possibility that they wouldn’t let him into the US!!! as if his 24+ hour delay on the trip to LA could get worse. long story short we ended up sitting outside the departure gate, with my parents and april still, all on the phone to thien and researching and helping him. he needed my parents cause they know more than anyone else he knows about USA visas and fuckery. in the end he had to book a return flight (which we hadn’t booked yet) from LA for the end of jan (the date of which we hadn’t decided yet, now it’s decided for us) in tahiti on his layover where he was never supposed to be in the first place. he’s now flying from tahiti to LA and doesn’t know if they’ll actually let him into the country so I’m now just stressed about thien and completely fine for my whole trip. literally fuck america and their government and immigration laws. no one ever move there please.

after all that fuckery I returned to my family and said our proper goodbyes, they felt rushed and not right at all but they had to be done and it’s all okay now. I cried a bit through the security line after leaving them, I kept turning back around as I was walking away to see them and they stayed forever still waving and smiling, until once I turned around and they weren’t there anymore :(

anyway…. after all of that I am finally resting and at peace at gate 7. it’s 8:25pm and boarding is at 8:35! I’m so excited for singapore airport and my ultimate deli sandwich that I made for myself at my last day of work at the market yesterday.

bye melbourne 👋

[stormbabylore]

I wanted to figure out what Aeryn's favorite foods were, so like an insane person, I stood in front of the market board for an hour reading through all the meal options. And now I'm going to ramble about food lore/headcanons. In excess.

It doesn't take Aeryn long to adapt to infrequent meals and a lifestyle of grazing, when possible, as a result of her adventuring lifestyle. In early ARR, she is too uncomfortable in her own skin to eat in public places, let alone among company, unless forced. (I suspect Mother Miounne would have some concerns about her perceived lack of nourishment and might occasionally do something about it.) As such, she develops a habit of keeping various edible foodstuffs on hand so she can eat on-the-go when hungry - or when reminded by others that she needs to eat.

Things she would keep stocked, both at "home" and while traveling: teas and coffees, various breads, dried fruit, nuts, and cheese - when she can get it.

Despite this preference, however, she will never turn down a free meal when offered. Aeryn doesn't know anything about herself as of game start, and that includes her favorite foods! Everything is new to her, and part of her quiet desperation to "find" herself includes figuring such things out as quickly as possible. As such, she has tried many, many things in her travels, enough to pinpoint she is a fan of meat-based stews, curries, and other predominantly rice-based dishes - typically anything hearty, warming, and (preferably) mildly spicy. She also hasn't yet met a form of popoto she doesn't enjoy. None of these are things she takes the time to make for herself, but she considers it a treat when she is able to indulge in meals like this prepared by others.

(Though she doesn't know it, this preference comes directly from her past life: such dishes as potatoes and stews would have often been prepared in bulk and served aboard the ship.)

She is most weak to (and might overindulge in) the following: sweet breads and pastries, coffee in any form, and tea with milk or cream.

Some of her favorite in-game foods:

Honey Croissant/Almond Cream Croissant

A couple silly food headcanons that have latched onto my brain since I put them in fic: honeyed sweetbread is a popular holiday treat in Gridania; and spiced sweetbreads/pastries are common in parts of Thanalan. (The scent of spice and baking bread is something Aeryn associates very heavily with Vesper Bay.) There are myriad other bread/pastry foods in-game she would like, but these two most closely resemble those I'd already written about.

Espresso con Panna

Any coffee beverage would suffice, but I imagine the first time Aeryn has espresso con panna, she would be delighted by the richness of the bitter/sweet flavor meld.

Chilled Popoto Soup

She's generally not a fan of soup at all. (She would quietly argue it's a beverage, not a meal, and that it's wrong to drink something with chopped up bits of stuff in it.) But the cream-based soup and the mesh of leek and popoto, well pureed, just works for her. I like to think of Thancred as the soup-making scion, and I imagine he would smirk and be pleased as pie to win her over with this particular meal. It becomes one of her favorite comfort meals, and she would like it both hot and cold.

La Noscean Toast

I imagine Baderon suggested this to Aeryn at some point, and she gladly accepted, thinking it would just be simple toast - maybe with some citrus jam from nearby Summerford. When she instead experienced for the first time what amounts to the Eorzean equivalent of French Toast, she was immediately obsessed. She makes a point of having this whenever she can stick around long enough in Limsa, because she finds it doesn't taste right anywhere else but at the Drowning Wench. (Baderon actually makes sure the cooks add orange zest to hers, because he knows how much she loves all things citrus.)

Thavnairian Chai/Masala Chai

Any latte-style tea (including Steppe Tea) is a favorite, but she especially likes the blend of spices in chai and considers it a treat to indulge.

Baguette and/or any leavened bread

It is not abnormal to see a half-eaten baguette poking out of her chocobo's saddlebag when Aeryn is on the go. Likewise, there are various forms of leavened breads available across Eorzea (of note the Crumpet and the Ishgardian Muffin) that I assume she would pack for her journeys and nosh on while traveling.

And a few honorable mentions, if not favorites:

Coffee Biscuit

Aeryn prefers pastries to cookies, but she does still love all things coffee. I headcanon she can't get this one frequently. (Maybe they're only common in one specific area she doesn't visit as frequently.) She would also prefer a stronger coffee flavor in them compared to how they are usually made.

Papanasi

I had never heard of this, but the description sounds AMAZING, and I assume Aeryn would probably love it as it encompasses quite a few of her favorite things.

Walnut Bread

The perfect travel snack, packed with nuts and just a hint of sweetness. Again, my daughter is weak to her sweet carbs.

And just in case all of the above wasn't obsessive enough, I also skimmed through the ingredients list. A few favorite foodstuffs that are labeled as crafting ingredients include:

Cheese. Mostly those of a milder flavor that won't stink up her bag. She will pack wedges of cheese to enjoy with her bread and fruit and thankfully eats through it quickly enough that it doesn't spoil. A specific favorite would be cream cheese, which she would enjoy during brief periods of rest where she can acquire it.

Oranges. I do think Aeryn is more inclined to eating dried fruits, since they travel better and tend to be less messy. That said, I think she fell in love with the various citrus fruits she was first introduced to in La Noscea, and despite being messy, they travel a bit better than some other fruits. She would likely carry oranges with her when possible and would try other citrus along her journeys, like lemons, limes, and persimmons.

Nuts. I mentioned this above, and almonds are the only one I can think of that she might keep on hand and actually snack on. But she would try to ensure she always had some form of crunchy protein on hand.

That's it! That's the food lore. \o/

Thanks for reading!

[threewaysdivided]

Chocolate Sapote Pie

Hey 3WD, why are you making a vegan, gluten-free, no-processed-sugar dessert?  Well, you see, I have friends with many, many allergies and felt like a challenge.

This recipe is an experiment with Black Sapote (also called Chocolate Pudding Fruit) – a seasonal persimmon relative that’s high in Vitamin C and has a pudding-like flesh with mild chocolate and caramel notes.  While limited availability of Sapotes means it’s not as accessible as something like Chocolate Avocado Pie, it’s a fun thing to play with if you like poking around with the weird fruit section of produce markets (as a bonus, Black Sapotes were selling for $1-2 per fruit both times I visited).

Let's get cooking:

Kitchen equipment

Blender/food processor

Beaters (hand-crank or electric)

20cm (8 inch) springform cake tin

Baking/ Greaseproof paper

Fridge & Oven

Fine mesh sieve (or tea strainer)

Mixing bowls, spatula, knives, spoons etc.

Prep-time

Bench work: approx. 40 minutes

Oven time: approx. 30 minutes

Cooling time: approx. 2-3 hours (minimum)

Coconut cream chill time:  12 hours (minimum)*

*Coconut cream needs to be refrigerated for 12 hours in order to separate properly before whipping.  Put your cream in the fridge the night before.

Ingredients

Pie crust

300g (10.5 Oz) pecans

4 large medjool dates (seeds removed, roughly chopped)

1 tsp salt

4 tbsp (approx. 60g/ 2 Oz) margarine, melted

Filling

2 large, ripe Black Sapotes*

1/2 cup (125mL) cocoa powder

4 large medjool dates (seeds removed, roughly chopped)

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp espresso powder

1 tsp vanilla extract

*Black Sapotes are ripe when the skin has darkened to a dull green-brown and the fruit is very soft to the touch (it will look and feel over-ripe).

Topping

One 400mL (13.5 Fl Oz) can high-quality full-fat coconut cream*

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp vanilla extract

Approx. 80g (3 Oz) pecans, toasted** and crumbled

Cocoa powder for dusting

*Use a premium quality coconut cream – the difference in price is very small and cheaper creams may not separate properly, which will stop them from whipping up. **Toast pecans by baking in a preheated 140°C/248°F (fan forced) oven for 15-30 minutes until done to your liking. 

Instructions

Pie crust (Inspiration recipe)

Preheat oven to 180°C/350°F (fan forced).

Line the base and sides of the spring form pan with baking paper.  (Try to minimise wrinkles/folds in the paper lining – this will make it easier to remove the crust later.)

Place chopped dates, pecans and salt into a blender.  Blend until the mixture has the texture of breadcrumbs/ almond meal.

Stream in melted margarine and blend until completely combined (crumbs should stick together when pressed)

Press mixture into a firm, even layer across the base and up the sides of the spring form tin, using clean hands or the back of a spoon to smooth down.

Bake for 10-12 minutes or until the crust begins to brown.  (Watch closely after the 8-minute mark to prevent burning).

Remove from oven. If the crust has puffed up, press back down using the back of a spoon. (Tip: use a toothpick or fork to gently pop any large air-pockets in the base.)

Cool on a wire rack or heat-safe cutting board until the crust reaches room temperature.

Filling (Inspiration recipe)

Preheat oven to 180°C/350°F (fan forced).

Cut open the Black Sapotes.  Remove the seeds and scoop/scrape the flesh out with a spoon. (Note: because Black Sapote skin is very thin and soft when ripe, it cannot be traditionally peeled.)

Transfer one quarter of the fruit flesh to a blender, along with the chopped dates.  Process until completely smooth.

Transfer the sweetened sapote mixture into a bowl alongside the remaining sapote flesh.  Mix until completely combined (use your spoon or spatula to break down any lumps or fibers in the fruit flesh).

Fold in the cocoa powder, expresso powder, vanilla and salt until completely combined.  Taste for flavouring and adjust with more cocoa/vanilla/espresso/salt as desired.  (Note:  adding cocoa will increase the bitterness of the filling alongside the chocolate-y flavour.  This can be hard to counteract without adding sugar or blending in more dates so be careful how much you add at once.)

Transfer filling into your pre-prepared pecan crust.  Smooth the top with a spoon or spatula.

Bake for 20 minutes or until the filling is lightly firm to the touch.

Cool completely on a wire rack or heat-safe cutting board, then cover and transfer to the fridge until chilled through.

Cream Topping (Inspiration recipe)

Chill coconut cream for at least 12 hours.

Remove coconut cream from the fridge (Note:  DO NOT Shake).

Use a spoon to scoop out the thick cream that has risen to the top, leaving the watery parts behind.  (The more water is in your cream, the less firmly it will whip).  Transfer the thick cream to a bowl.  (Tip: have an extra jar of chilled cream on hand in case the cream yield from the first tin is low)

Add the vanilla and salt to the cream. Stir through, then taste test and adjust the vanilla/salt as needed. (Note: Like with plain dairy cream, this should taste more neutral than sweet).

Beat your cream, starting on a slow speed.  Gradually increase speed until whipped to thick, semi-stiff peaks. (Tip: if your cream is very soft to start with, try covering and chilling in the refrigerator to help it firm up.)

Remove the chilled sapote tart from the spring form pan. (Optional:  If the sides of your pecan crust are much taller than your filling, you can use a pair of clean, sharp kitchen scissors to trim it down.  Use a clean hand to shield the pie filling from any falling crust-crumbs).

Spoon the whipped cream onto the sapote filling, using the back of the spoon to make decorative swirls.  (Optional: use a piping bag with a decorative nozzle for a fancier top).

Sprinkle the cream with crumbled pecans.  Dust with cocoa powder using a fine sieve or tea-strainer.  (Note: Add the nuts first - otherwise the cocoa powder will prevent them from sticking to the cream, causing them to roll everywhere when the pie is cut).

Return to the fridge until the coconut cream is completely chilled.

Serve.

[fishedeyelenz]

I'm gonna be so upfront with you, DILF Billy is still a new concept for me personally but I'm already obsessed with it. BEGGING for some tasty random headcanons abt him, anything and everything I can get my grubby little baby hands on so I can open my head up and pop em right in my brain 🤲

ok let me see what comes to mind first

Has chronic back pain problems that developed from a lifetime of sleeping in places he shouldn't have slept in. It's mostly his lower back, but honestly his whole back needs a good massage

Works as a cinema projectionist (this au takes place 90s, 20 years later after the movie) it's a job that doesn't require that much interaction with other people, so his anti social ass isn't so overwhelmed

Almost everything he owns is bought from flee markets or thrift stores, his whole house is pretty mismatched and a bit cluttered

Everything is also covered in cat hair from his six cats

Bad and naughty kitties get put into the sock of shame for time out

Dresses eighter in a sloppy white T and sweatpants or like Guillermo What we do in the Shadows. On special occasions he dresses like a laid back college English professor but that's only for formal events

Bitch is blind as a bat

Can cook!!! Omg they though him how to cook in psych ward and he's decently good at it let's go!!!!!

Favorite things to make are french toast, pesto pasta, some sort of home cooked stew of his own making and Mac and cheese

Unsocial but loves playing board games lol things like monopoly, ludo, various card games etc.

Number one Garfield fan, cuts out every strip out of various newspapers and magazines he collects, and keeps the in a special drawer (different from his other special drawer wink wink, nudge nudge)

Also owns a Garfield plush he broke out of a claw machine

Has an extensive VHS collection of movies of various genres, from the most acclaimed movies to low budget art films to porn. Most of the tapes were stole though

Doesn't understand kids these days

God, there's more from where that came from, if anybody has anymore questions about him feel free to ask

[newpersonteeth11]

NC+PB/YN (Add Photos)

You, Elias Holloway, were the sole heir to Lewis Holloway, your father and the billionaire founder of Holloway Equity Partners Ltd., an asset manager. He owned 100% of Holloway Equity Partners Ltd., valued at $4.3 billion, and had another $1.2 billion in personal assets. You had over $250 million in assets, and would inherit his fortune upon his death. You were a board member of Holloway Equity Partners Ltd. You spent the majority of your time in Toronto, known for its night life, but your father required that you keep your primary residence in Burnaby, where Holloway Equity Partners was headquartered. You decided to hire a personal assistant and out of the thousands of candidates, you chose Nicky Champa.

His salary was $35,000 a year. On his first day, he arrived at your penthouse apartment. There, you threatened him telling him to either fuck you or you would fire him and blacklist him from the job market. Then you said, "Kneel and suck my dick, now"

He said, "No, you suck my dick, bitch." After he said that, he flexed his muscles.

"Um, um, um," you stuttered. "I said Now, bitch!" he roared.

You reflexively fell to your knees and began to undo his pants. "That's what I thought," he said "Now say 'I am a worthless faggot who's only purpose is Master Nick's enjoyment.'"

You mumbled it back, and he punched the back of your head with his powerful alpha muscles, causing your head to fall the the floor, in a head-to-floor bow.

"Say it now, fag!" he shouted. You immediately said it again, louder this time bowing up and down.

He then face fucked you, until you passed out, then he kicked the shit out of you. You no longer slept in the 6-room master suite, but the corner of Nicky's master suite closet.

The next day, you woke up at 3am, cleaned the entire apartment, ate a breakfast of one piece of toast and a cup of oatmeal, and then prepared a feast of almas caviar on toast points (at a cost of over $85,000 a pound), organic eggs, Pancetta di Calabria (a type of bacon that cost over $2,000 a pound), and Kobe beef sausages flown directly from Japan that morning (costing $4,500 a pound). You proceeded to place the breakfast on a silver platter and bow in front of him.

He then kicked your face, and ordered you to swallow his piss. Then he called his alpha boyfriend to come over to his new fag's penthouse, and began looking at your finances. He realized that the majority of your family's wealth was held by your father. When his boyfriend, Pierre, arrived, you were ordered to drive them both in your limousine to your father's compound.

When you arrived, you followed Nicky & Pierre on your hands and knees.

Your father was shocked to see your new power dynamic, you on your hands and knees covered in bruises and cuts and wearing ragged old clothes, while Nicky and Pierre wore luxury clothes. Your father's shock, however, was quickly subdued when Nicky lifted him by his neck, causing him to choke, while Pierre beat his body until he began coughing up blood. Nicky then punched him in the face, causing him to pass out. Pierre then put his foot on your father's neck and watched as the life drained from his eyes, while they both laughed at his weakness.

[1poda]

She Hates Pirates! Pt.2

Pt.1

Pt.3

Pt.4

Pt.5

Pt.6

Pt.7

Pt.8

"It's her.."

A large group of men followed a short woman, wearing black heeled boots topped by dark blue jeans while her waist was surrounded by a chunky belt, and from it hung rope tied to a grappling hook. Her upper half was seen wearing a tight sleeveless black crop with a high neck while her shoulders were covered with a short black jacket that blended seamlessly with the color of her shirt. 

Some of the surrounding males blushed at her simple beauty, with clear pale skin and wide dark eyes covered by large round glasses she shone like a star among the ragged people of Garu Island. The seemingly harmless-looking woman smiled politely at a small group of children who glanced from afar from behind a wall of wheat-filled bags.

They gasped and scuttled to hide away from the strange lady, the people still seemed wary of her and the men who trained to serve her. Not yet sure whether the change of leadership was a good one they followed the group with hidden whispers. 

As the ocean drew near a tussle at the harbor seemed to be growing louder, with one guess in mind the young woman released a tired sigh 'Pirates, of course'

After realizing that the Sunny was somehow completely barren of any alcohol Zoro was quick to challenge the guards as he demanded to be able to go and buy some booze of his own "Look it's no problem, I'll just head right back!" he tried to force his way past the wall of guards which had been stationed around the port as they all attempted to stop a fully sober and unhappy Zoro. 

"Idiot moss head, we'll be lucky now if we're even still allowed to leave the ship after this" 

As the pale female drew closer the attention of the guards suddenly went from the monster swordsman to their oncoming leader, their gritting teeth and unkempt yelling turned into grinning and cheering "You pirates are toast now!!" one of the males boldly raised their fists, some copying with a cheer. 

Raising her glove-covered hands the stranger stood before a frowning Zoro who lowered his swords "So you're the leader huh? Didn't expect a woman to be in charge of these parts" 

"You're a Pirate right?" she ignored the green-haired beings' words, with a gruff tone Zoro replied "Yeah? What of it?" 

His reaction came off as careless and Nami face palmed at his blunt Zoro-like attitude but the white-haired Leader appeared unaffected "Then I expect you to follow these rules we've set for people like you"

Only then did anybody realize she had been standing next to a rather large board that read 'BEWARE PIRATES' along with a short list of rules underneath. 

"'1. Pirates who stay overnight must stay on their own ships'

2. Any Pirate who commits a crime or causes any destruction will be sentenced to jail and will stay on the island until their sentence is carried out.

3. Any Pirate who does commit a crime and tries to flee will be hunted down. 

4. Pirates may only shop nearby the harbor, they are not allowed to leave the town or market area they port in" Ussop listed with a sweat on his brow "Wow they must really distrust pirates"

"But look, a new one has recently been added" Robin pointed at a smaller sign hanging underneath "5. Any pirate who harms a citizen of Garu Island will be dealt with accordingly by Alba Ingis until Mayor Doffy dismisses this rule" 

"Huh? I don't care about that crap, I just want some boOZE" Zoro groaned at the sign, the woman gave an unimpressed stare before rubbing her forehead "Whatever just- don't cause any trouble" she dismissed the whole thing as if the conversation were held between two friends before turning to the surrounding guards with clapping palms "Listen, men! There's going to be a shipment of supplies delivered here soon so be prepared!"

The men soon hustled at their orders and left the scene with little retort, just as the leader began turning to leave the port a loud giggle filled the air.

"Huh?…What the..." Her dark eyes suddenly turned wide at the familiar cheer that echoed through the crummy town, the Straw hat Capitan stretched and swung from the rooster nest with a yell as he drew closer to the unexpecting female. 

"AAAAAAALLLLBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" 

Loosening his grip Luffy allowed the pull of gravity to guide him to the taken-aback teen, as his features became clearer the stranger's face split into a grin matching his own, the closer he fell the faster Luffy's body became and he flew passed the ecstatic Alba. 

Landing further in the town with a groan his newly found friend was quick to pull him up with a cheerful laugh and marveled at his changes "Wow you got so tall Luffy!!" Alba cheered as the male shook his brain into place before laughing along and wrapping his arms around her in a fast tight hug "Nah, you just got small!"

Both parties were laughing as Luffy picked up the smaller body and spun them around, at first holding the girl in the air before descending into a princess lift. 

Alba wrapped her arms around Luffy's shoulders the first moment she could and the pair clung to each other like glue "It's been so long!" Luffy grinned as he pressed their faces together.   

From afar Sanji burned with the rage of a thousand suns as they cuddled without a care in the world "That bastard Luffy! How does that low-life know an angle like her??" 

"So this is where you've been huh?" the Straw hat male glanced around "It's kind of a dump"

"Hey, you don't get to say that" Alba frowned at the deduction with a poke at the blank pirate's cheek.

[gonecontinental]

Day 0.5 to 1 - June 10th & 11th - Sydney

I flew into Sydney yesterday morning and was kindly collected from the airport by my gracious hosts Mandisa and Xavier. It was so great to see them after a long time apart and we had a beautiful and relaxing afternoon wandering Newtown, preparing for their friends 30th birthday party at the local pub. At the party, we had a great time chatting and drinking. While tipsy, we spontaneously booked the last 3 tickets to the Sydney Film Festival for the showing of the new Warwick Thornton movie New Boy.

When we got up today, we didn't have many plans beyond the movie and potentially seeing my friend sam in the afternoon. Despite this, the day unfolded like a russian doll of experiences - it just kept opening up on itself. We had a lazy morning big breakfast with avo on toast with all the trimmings then set off on a postcard perfect day in Sydney.

We took the train to the city and strolled from circular quay to the botanical gardens. We put $2 in a pair of tourist binoculars and looked at the boats bobbing along the harbour and the detail of the tiles on the opera house. The intricacy of the tiles was so arresting, my mind couldn't help but see the similarity between the thousands of sleek tiles and snakeskin. We stopped for coffee in the botanical garden cafe before wandering through the Fern Garden and moving on to Hyde Park, on the way to the State theatre for showing.

The theatre is unbelievably grand in the true sense of the word. I spent a solid minute in my seat with my head back on the velvet backrest, staring at chandelier and ornate latticework of the ceiling. The movie was poignant and beautifully shot with thought provoking themes surrounding colonisation and spirituality. Walking out of the stalls into the side alleyway, we saw the charmingly painted sign with the old school design of the finger pointing to "Stage Door" and paintings of old production company posters, which i loved.

After the movie we wandered to Chinatown for some dumplings and ran into one of Xav's old friends, who joined us for a late lunch. When we finished our noodles and dumplings we had a little shop in the Winter sale for hiking gear for Disa and Xav's upcoming Larapinta trail hike.

Walking back, we detoured via Darling Harbour as the sun was setting and Xavier suggested we hop on a ferry to watch the sunset from the harbour. A capital idea if there ever was one. We had a wonderful sightseeing experience as the ferry did "upsy-downsies" (as a little kid on board called them), and the lights of luna park twinkled against the darkening sky.

Hopping off the ferry, Vivid Sydney was starting and I was, to be honest, a bit surprised by the quality and how fun the experience was. We met up with my old friend Sam and his girlfriend Ange near "the big white star" installation and had a delightful time moving through the markets, under the bridge and past The Rocks. There were so many highlights. I loved seeing a wonderful spherical design projected into a fountain of water. Best of all, though, was the company. We laughed and shot the breeze against a beautiful backdrop of the city illuminated with an extra layer of brightness and art.

Heading home, our feet were tired but our spirits were high. It was the best first full day of the trip I could ask for. I loved, and there is very little hyperbole in this statement, every moment.

Particularly this moment, in which i turn on my audiobook and turn off the light, getting some needed rest before a huge day of travel. Tomorrow, it's Kowabunga, dude, let's do this. Tonight, it's sweet dreams.