#today on niche posts that not even the mutuals will understand

[concerto-roblox]

parents: how's the job search going?

me, currently trying to figure out if i'm jealous of maya hawke for getting to kiss andrew garfield in mainstream (2020) or if i'm jealous of andrew garfield for getting to kiss maya hawke in mainstream (2020): it's going

[naviculariis]

This seems like a good time to remind folks of this part of my pinned post [ which is also in my mobile rules & in my carrd. ]

I write content that does fall under the Dead Dove Umbrella. Not anything sexualized, but I do tend to write more uncomfortable topics regarding:

•Familial Physical / Mental Abuse

•Matricide / Patricide

•Delusions, psychosis, PTSD-induced panic disorders / attacks

•Drug abuse / usage [ specific to very few muses & tagged very heavily as such, if I ever post that here, which I highly doubt I will. ]

•GORE. This is a big one. I try to write things as being accurate in terms of injuries / wounds, death scenes, battlefield scenes, etc. I come from a medical background, I spent 5 years listening to nursing students and their lectures as well as helping them study for their exams, and I'm a massive history buff. Things like period-accurate medical procedures are my weird niche. So I don't shy away from gore. I've taken history & medical courses specifically for this.

•DEATH. Death of loved ones. Death of mind. Ego Death. Raising the dead & using the dead as weapons. The dead are here.

•I'M A HORROR FANTASY WRITER. Granted, I have toned down a LOT of stuff regarding a few OCs to make it more publicly palatable ( malekai, mizuki, milorad, and vasille specifically ) for the RPC.

•Also, I tap into certain things that in general make folks uncomfortable ( uncanny valley, certain phobias regarding insects or serpents, medical-based things, body dysmorphia + body dysphoria, self mutilation, body horror, stalking, obsessiveness / possessiveness in a totally not good way, etc. )

Granted, majority of these will only show up in *SOLOS*, or rarely in threads between myself and a small select others that are OKAY with these topics. And today was a big slip in regards to how I normally tag, and I apologize for that. I do try to tag my posts as accurately as possible, but sometimes shit slips and that's on me.

If there are specific triggers that you have, PLEASE. LET ME KNOW. I can't remember every single trigger every single person has, so I try to cover broad bases, but if I need to be more specific- I gladly will. But I need to know what these are, because not everyone will have the same triggers.

That being said: if Something I post makes you uncomfortable, and you no longer wish to remain mutuals: softblock me. It's okay. It sucks, but if it makes your experience here better? I understand. It's okay. No hard feelings. Or even hard block me ( though if you don't mind, give me a heads up so I don't go asking where xyz is. I won't be angry, I promise. I get it. My block list is a mile long on various platforms. )

Alright.

That's all.

[hopecomesbacktolife]

hey, just. friendly reminder that fanfiction is morally neutral.

yes, that includes smutty fics. yes, that includes self-insert fics. yes, that includes the fics you consider Problematic TM and the fics you don’t think are Smart or New. in fact that’s kind of why I’m writing this post.

I know we all love to talk about Themes And Narratives, but—and please listen to me very carefully here—you are not earning Good Place Points for only reading the kinds of fan fiction you feel are Smart or Only Focuses On The Important Things Like Themes.

fan fiction is morally neutral.

what I mean is this: no one is harming you, themselves, or anyone, by writing a fic about two characters having sex. (are you uncomfortable with the fact that I typed the word “sex”? hi, this post is about you. people have sex. and they write and talk about it. it’s seriously fine.)

no one is being harmed by self insert fics, by smutty fics, by anything not exclusively Smart TM about the fandom or analytically adding to it.

(and that’s not to say these two types of fics, that any type of fic, can’t have those elements— some of my favorite fic authors, my mutuals, my tumblr friends, write fic in these genres, and they also explore Themes and Emotions and analyze character traits and histories and write brilliant plots and incredible character arcs and yknow what, it’s amazing! it’s fantastic to examine what makes two characters react a certain way to x situation while also having them fuck nasty about it!) (and yes, I did just type ‘fuck nasty about it’ and I promise, that’s fine, too.)

what I’m saying, though, is that it doesn’t NEED that to, I dunno, somehow validate it into existing. it just Is. it just Exists. it doesn’t need an aspect you Approve Of TM in order to earn the right to be shared, to be written, to be published and commended and interacted with and read. it just. Is.

and I think a lot of especially younger, or newer, tumblr users especially get uncomfortable with that, and they unintentionally veer right (..ha) into self-censoring, puritanical behavior which is exactly what every person trying to ban books and generally kill art, wants. (and we’re not even going to examine in depth here, beyond mentioning it, the fact that policing, censuring, and banning art has historically and still today is being used to silence marginalized voices, so, I ask you to keep that in mind as you think on this, too, please.)

what I’m trying to say is this—if you personally don’t enjoy smut, don’t enjoy self insert fics, don’t enjoy a certain genre, that’s great, you do you! but, you must, must understand that this is not a moral stance. You are not objecting to a problematic practice, exploited workers, consent issues, labor crises… none of that applies, because no one in these stories is a real person. a story written about two Star Trek characters kissing on the bridge of the Enterprise is just that, a story. there is no actor for whose rights to fight, no wages to dispute fairness of, no ethical ramifications of scenes to discuss. these are Fictional People in Fictional Situations.

fan fiction is morally neutral.

and the moment you try to make yourself feel Better TM, More Correct TM, or—one of the ones I encounter the most—Smarter TM, by saying oh, I don’t read that kind of fic, I read the good kind, with thought in it—

you’re not only causing harm, you’re actively employing art censoring behavior. is that something that you want to do? I hope not. I certainly don’t.

next time you see a fic or a genre you don’t Approve Of TM, please remember the easiest way of exhibiting that— simply scrolling by or blocking a tag! If you’re on ao3, their system is incredible for niche content searches, and blocking a tag even here on tumblr will (most of the time) work.

I just., there’s so many better options out there for you than to… act like this. I believe you, we, all of us, can be better than this.

fanfiction. is. morally. neutral.

[raindropsonwhiskers]

Hi there! I know that this is really out of the blue but im asking for a favor or some help w/ my cats current medical needs. Please if you have an extra time to boost/share it for us so that we could get some traction or it could reach more people, it would definitely help a ton! I understand if its not okay, Im so sorry for taking some of your time and I wish you to be safe and healthy always, xx.(Please considering answering my ask privately or probably hit me a msg if its fine! 😭🙏

This is far from the first time I've gotten one of these, and I'm feeling spiteful, so I'm going to walk through why this is almost certainly a scam, for anyone who isn't already aware of these.

This is the pinned post on the blog:

It was made at 1:17 AM EST today, Jan 31st. Based on the timing and phrasing of this post, the emergency happened last Tuesday, as the poster seems to be in Montana and thus made the post at 11:17 PM on Monday. The vet hospital (VSS West) and the group Shelter Friends do exist, though Shelter Friends seems to be exclusively a "shelter assistance and networking group whose purpose is to help homeless pets find rescue or adoption" (their website).

They claim their cat is being held until they can pay the bill (pictured at the top of the pinned post, ~1600 USD) in full. This is a red flag, since as far as I'm aware, no respectable institution does this. Additionally, the timeframe on pickup seems uncertain - it goes between "picking him up tomorrow" and "cleared to come home by the next couple of days".

No goal amount is listed, nor is there any sort of tracker. This is extremely strange, since almost every signal boost/mutual aid/etc post I see these days has the OP pretty much constantly updating how much they have left to go. Not being upfront about the amount needed, or how much they already have, is a decent red flag for a scam.

They say they haven't made a GoFundMe because it takes too long and takes a fee. However, VSS West's website says payment is due upon service (see screenshot). Therefor, they must have known about the price for at least 5 days (assuming wiggle room from last Tuesday to the time of the pinned post) and - more importantly - they should have already paid for the surgery.

But let's say they delayed the payment and... used their pet as collateral or something. Here is a screenshot from GoFundMe's website:

So the fee bit is bullshit, too.

Now that we know why the scenario is a whole bunting's worth of red flags, let's tackle the blog itself. The earliest post is from 1:08 AM EST, Jan 31, 2023. AKA today, 9 minutes before making the pinned post.

The URL directly references the cat, Tonka, so surely the blog was created to be about him. It can't be a sideblog - those can't send asks. It could be an alt account, but why make one just for your cat's health emergency and then reblog ATLA posts, posts about the new Mighty Nein animation, and some random aesthetic photos?

And this is just me being pedantic: the name in the header, Nicolai, doesn't match the Nicole used elsewhere. On the bill in the pinned post, the name Susan appears in the client field, just before the blacked out phone number.

But even assuming this person did genuinely decide to make a brand new blog on tumblr and try to crowdfund for their cat, there's a few more red flags around the message itself.

1) This blog has never once interacted with me before. Not shocking since it was made less than 24 hours ago, but still. Not even a follow before sending me a scam? Rude.

2) They ask that I reply privately or via DM. This is very suspicious and VERY convenient for a scammer, because it's harder to provide evidence of the scam when nobody else has seen your correspondence with them.

3) They asked a random niche Doctor Who blog to signal boost them. Of all the demographics, Doctor Who Extended Universe shitposting was the one some desperate person worried for their cat chose? Yeah, right.

All that being said, I hope this post helps people be more aware of these sorts of scams in the future. There are a lot of genuine posts looking for help with their pets, too - but those posts come from real people with established blogs, who aren't sending demanding asks to strangers, aren't trying to hide how much money they need/have already, and aren't trying to take advantage of people. Always do some due diligence before donating to a cause; the worst that can happen is you spend a little time looking through someone's blog and find that they're a real person.

[sunfoxfic]

hi, this is stupid, but I still want to send this to you. seeing you interact with your mutuals and “fandom friends” as you call them, is very important to me. i am part of many fandoms where the mutuals or “friend groups” are really toxic, every other week there is some kind of problem between them. and I understand that people don’t always get along, but the thing is, they post their problems for everyone to see just to get back at each other, and that angers more people! honestly, it made me think that all mutuals, or friend groups are like that. I guess what I want to say is that I hope one day I’ll find a group of friends or mutuals who will be kind and okay to joke around like you guys, and if we do have problems we won’t post it on the internet just to get back at each other. anyway have a good rest of your day/night! :)

Awww, this is so sweet. It's really nice to hear that, and I agree, it's increasingly hard to find spaces on the internet where people aren't posting drama about each other. To be honest, I can't say I'm innocent of that. I've really culminated my dash to keep all types of negativity off, and I'm glad it shows :)

(I feel obligated to say here that even the "good" types of negativity can turn toxic really easily. Even if someone only complains about stuff you also dislike, or if they're vagueposting someone you have blocked, or whatever it is - that gets really bad really quick. It serves to make you angry. On Tumblr, we have the fortune of no algorithm that's trying to force feed us anger because anger sells, so we shouldn't replicate that through our own actions. A normal vent here and there is healthy, but I question anyone who has a significant amount of following for their negativity.)

And trust me, if you'd told me two years ago that I'd have a group of friends online who I trust as much as I trust my mutuals today, I'd probably say you were lying. Most of my friends come from the @mlwritersguild and I vividly remember when I first joined, I kept thinking, "Is it weird to bring up ML in the non-ML channels?" Is it weird to bring up ML? In the ML server? For ML fans? Who write about ML?

(No. No it is not.)

Finding a place to break into fandom is hard, but remember that we're all clown piling into the clown car. You have a place in fandom because fandom is made by the people who are in it. Even if you're just an anonymous person in my inbox, that's an important niche to fill - hell, that was my only form of communication with one of my best fandom friends for like a year.

[contentpassstory]

Unveiling the World of Blogging: Purpose and Uses

Introduction:

In the digital age, blogging has emerged as a powerful medium that transcends traditional communication channels. It provides a platform for individuals and businesses alike to express ideas, share insights, and connect with a global audience. Let’s delve into the world of blogging, exploring its purpose and the myriad uses that make it an indispensable tool in today’s online landscape.

What is Blogging?

At its core, blogging involves the creation and publication of content on an online platform known as a blog. A blog typically consists of articles, often referred to as blog posts, which are displayed in reverse chronological order, with the latest posts appearing first. Bloggers, the individuals or entities behind the blogs, curate content on diverse topics, ranging from personal experiences and hobbies to professional insights and industry trends.

Purpose of Blogging:

Personal Expression: Blogging provides an avenue for personal expression and creativity. It allows individuals to share their thoughts, experiences, and perspectives with a broader audience, fostering a sense of connection and community.

Knowledge Sharing: One of the primary purposes of blogging is to share knowledge. Bloggers can contribute valuable insights, expertise, and information on specific subjects, creating a reservoir of shared learning accessible to anyone with an internet connection.

Building Authority and Credibility: Blogs offer individuals and businesses a platform to showcase their expertise in a particular field. Consistently providing high-quality, insightful content helps bloggers build authority and credibility, positioning them as thought leaders in their respective niches.

Community Building: Blogs can serve as hubs for building communities around shared interests. Through comments, social media engagement, and other interactive features, bloggers can connect with their audience and foster a sense of belonging within their community.

Professional Development: Blogging can be a valuable tool for professional development. Individuals can use blogs to document their career journey, share industry insights, and establish a personal brand that resonates within their professional sphere.

Business Promotion: Many businesses leverage blogging as a means of promoting their products or services. A well-maintained blog can be a valuable marketing tool, driving traffic to the website, enhancing brand visibility, and ultimately increasing sales.

Monetization: Blogging offers the potential for monetization through various avenues. From affiliate marketing and sponsored content to ad revenue, bloggers can turn their passion and expertise into a source of income.

Uses of Blogging:

Content Marketing: Blogs are central to content marketing strategies. They enable businesses to create informative and engaging content that attracts and retains a target audience, ultimately driving customer engagement and loyalty.

Educational Platforms: Blogs serve as educational platforms, offering tutorials, guides, and how-to articles. Whether it’s learning a new skill, understanding a complex concept, or staying updated on industry trends, blogs are valuable educational resources.

News and Commentary: Bloggers often share news, updates, and commentary on current events or industry happenings. This real-time sharing allows readers to access diverse perspectives on unfolding events.

Personal Journals: Many individuals use blogs as digital journals, documenting their life experiences, travels, and personal growth. This serves not only as a means of personal expression but also as a resource for others going through similar journeys.

Networking and Collaboration: Blogs facilitate networking and collaboration within and across industries. Bloggers can connect with peers, share ideas, and even collaborate on projects, fostering a sense of community and mutual support.

SEO and Online Visibility: Blogs contribute significantly to Search Engine Optimization (SEO). Regularly updated, relevant content improves a website’s search engine ranking, enhancing online visibility and attracting organic traffic.

Advocacy and Activism: Blogging provides a powerful platform for advocacy and activism. Bloggers can raise awareness about social issues, share personal stories, and mobilize communities around a cause.

Conclusion: The Ever-Evolving Landscape of Blogging

Blogging has evolved from simple online diaries to multifaceted platforms that serve diverse purposes. Whether you’re an individual expressing your creativity, a professional building your brand, or a business promoting products, blogging remains a dynamic and influential tool in the digital landscape. As the world of blogging continues to expand, its impact on how we share information, connect with others, and shape our online experiences is undeniable.

[instagramguide]

A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Grow Your Instagram Account Quickly

In today's digital age, social media has become an integral part of our daily lives, and Instagram stands out as one of the most popular platforms for sharing moments and connecting with others. If you're looking to grow your Instagram account quickly, you're in the right place. In this article, we'll provide you with a straightforward, jargon-free guide to help you boost your Instagram presence and reach a wider audience.

Optimize Your Profile

The first step to growing your Instagram account is to create a compelling profile. Use a clear profile picture, preferably a high-resolution image that represents you or your brand. Craft an engaging bio that succinctly describes who you are or what your account is about. Include relevant keywords to make your profile easily discoverable.

Post High-Quality Content Consistently

Content is king on Instagram, and posting high-quality content consistently is crucial for attracting and retaining followers. Focus on creating visually appealing images and videos that align with your brand or personal style. Use editing tools to enhance your photos and maintain a cohesive aesthetic for your feed.

Identify Your Niche and Target Audience

To attract the right followers, identify your niche and target audience. Tailor your content to cater to the interests of your intended audience. This targeted approach increases the likelihood of engaging with users who are genuinely interested in your content, leading to higher retention rates.

Use Relevant Hashtags Strategically

Hashtags play a significant role in expanding your reach on Instagram. Research and use relevant hashtags that are popular within your niche. However, avoid overloading your captions with hashtags; a balanced and strategic approach is more effective. Experiment with both broad and niche-specific hashtags to find the optimal mix for your content.

Engage with Your Audience

Building a community on Instagram involves more than just posting content. Actively engage with your followers by responding to comments, liking and commenting on their posts, and using Instagram's interactive features such as polls and questions. Building a sense of community fosters loyalty among your followers and encourages them to share your content. Alternatively, you can try Instapro 24.com

Collaborate with Others

Collaborations are a powerful way to expand your reach on Instagram. Partner with other users in your niche for shoutouts or joint projects. This exposes your account to a wider audience, increasing the likelihood of gaining new followers. Choose collaborators who share a similar target audience to ensure the partnership is mutually beneficial.

Utilize Instagram Stories and Reels

Instagram offers various features like Stories and Reels that can help you connect with your audience in different ways. Use Stories to share behind-the-scenes content, polls, and updates. Reels allow you to create short, engaging videos that can go viral and attract new followers. Embrace these features to diversify your content and keep your audience engaged.

Run Contests and Giveaways

Running contests and giveaways is an effective way to generate excitement and attract new followers. Encourage users to participate by following your account, liking the post, and tagging friends. Ensure that the prize is relevant to your audience and aligns with your brand. Contests create a buzz around your account and can lead to a surge in followers.

Promote Your Instagram on Other Platforms

Cross-promotion is a valuable strategy for growing your Instagram account. Share your Instagram handle on other social media platforms, your website, and even in your email signature. Leverage your existing audience to drive traffic to your Instagram profile, increasing the chances of converting them into followers.

Monitor Analytics and Adjust Your Strategy

Regularly monitor your Instagram analytics to understand what works and what doesn't. Pay attention to metrics such as engagement rate, reach, and follower growth. Use this data to refine your content strategy, posting schedule, and overall approach. Adapt and evolve based on the insights gained from your analytics to ensure continuous s growth.

Conclusion

Growing your Instagram account quickly requires a combination of thoughtful strategy, engaging content, and consistent effort. By optimizing your profile, posting high-quality content, and actively engaging with your audience, you can create a thriving Instagram community. Experiment with different strategies, stay authentic and adapt to the evolving landscape of social media to build a strong and influential presence on Instagram.

[ventesb2b]

The Power of Content Marketing Syndication: Maximizing Reach and Impact

Introduction:

In today's rapidly evolving digital landscape, content marketing has become a cornerstone for businesses aiming to establish their online presence and engage with their target audience. One powerful strategy within the realm of content marketing is syndication – a method that can exponentially boost your content's reach and impact. In this blog post, we'll delve into the concept of content marketing syndication, its benefits, best practices, and how you can effectively implement it to achieve your marketing goals.

Understanding Content Marketing Syndication

Content syndication involves republishing your original content on third-party platforms, such as websites, blogs, or social media channels. This approach extends your content's visibility beyond your owned media channels, tapping into new audiences and creating additional touchpoints for engagement. It's important to note that syndication isn't about duplicating content across platforms, but rather adapting and tailoring it to suit the audience and guidelines of each platform.

Benefits of Content Marketing Syndication

1. Increased Reach: Syndicating your content exposes it to a wider audience that you might not have reached through your own channels alone. This helps in building brand awareness and expanding your content's influence.

2. Enhanced SEO: When reputable websites republish your content with proper attribution and backlinks, it can positively impact your search engine rankings. This improves your website's authority and visibility in search engine results pages.

3. Establishing Authority: Being featured on authoritative platforms bolsters your credibility within your industry. This can lead to increased trust among your target audience and potential customers.

4. Diversified Traffic Sources: Relying solely on your website for traffic can be limiting. Syndication diversifies your traffic sources, making you less dependent on any single channel.

5. Social Proof and Engagement: Content that gains traction on third-party platforms often garners more social engagement. This can lead to more comments, shares, and discussions, further amplifying your message.

lets connect for more insight:  https://ventesb2b.com/contact-2/

Best Practices for Content Marketing Syndication

1. Choose the Right Platforms: Identify platforms that align with your target audience and industry. High-authority websites and platforms that cater to your niche are ideal choices.

2. Adapt to the Platform: Customize your content to fit the style and preferences of each platform. What works on a LinkedIn article might not work as effectively on a visual platform like Instagram.

3. Ensure Proper Attribution: When syndicating, ensure that the republished content includes a clear attribution to the original source and a link back to your website.

4. Avoid Duplicate Content Penalties: Search engines penalize duplicate content. To avoid this, use canonical tags or slightly rephrase and optimize your content for each platform.

5. Communicate with Publishers: If you're working with third-party publishers, maintain open communication. Discuss guidelines, expectations, and mutual benefits before syndication.

6. Monitor and Engage: Keep an eye on the performance of your syndicated content. Respond to comments and engage with the audience to maximize its impact  Learn More

Implementing Content Marketing Syndication

Identify Suitable Content: Choose evergreen, informative, or insightful content that retains its relevance over time. This content is more likely to attract readers, even after republishing.

Build Relationships: Establish relationships with websites or platforms that are open to syndicating your content. Networking within your industry can help you identify potential partners.

Create a Syndication Strategy: Plan which platforms you want to target, how frequently you'll syndicate, and how you'll adapt your content to suit each platform's audience.

Promote Across Channels: Once content is syndicated, promote it across your own channels to encourage engagement and draw your existing audience to the syndicated piece.

In conclusion, content marketing syndication is a dynamic and effective way to expand your content's reach, improve your SEO efforts, and establish yourself as an authoritative voice in your industry. By following best practices and strategically implementing syndication, you can tap into new audiences and elevate your content marketing game to new heights.

Aniket Deshpanade

Sr.Digital Marketink Associate

adeshpande185@gmail.com

www.ventesb2b.com/

New York, USA

[influencerdatabase]

Influencer Marketing on a Budget: Maximizing Impact with Minimal Spending

In today's digitally-driven world, influencer marketing has emerged as a powerful strategy for brands to connect with their target audiences in an authentic and relatable way. However, the misconception that influencer marketing requires deep pockets can deter small businesses or those on a budget from leveraging its potential. The good news is that you don't need a substantial budget to make influencer marketing work for you. In this blog, we'll explore how to harness the power of influencer marketing without breaking the bank, focusing particularly on the crucial aspect of finding influencers.

The Power of Influencer Marketing

Influencer marketing involves collaborating with individuals who have a dedicated and engaged following on social media platforms. These influencers can range from micro-influencers with a few thousand followers to macro-influencers boasting hundreds of thousands. By partnering with influencers, brands can tap into their established trust and rapport with their audience, thereby expanding their own reach and credibility.

Finding Influencers Without Blowing Your Budget

The key to successful influencer marketing on a budget lies in your ability to identify the right influencers without overspending. Here's how to do it:

1. Define Your Niche and Goals

Before you start scouting for influencers, define your niche and outline your campaign goals. Are you looking to increase brand awareness, drive traffic to your website, or boost sales? A clear understanding of your objectives will help you find influencers who align with your goals.

2. Embrace Micro-Influencers

While macro-influencers might be appealing, their services often come at a premium. Instead, focus on micro-influencers. These individuals have a smaller but highly engaged audience and are more likely to collaborate for reasonable compensation or even product exchanges.

3. Leverage Social Listening Tools

Utilize social listening tools to identify potential influencers within your niche. These tools allow you to monitor conversations, track hashtags, and identify individuals who are already talking about topics relevant to your brand.

4. Scour Multiple Platforms

Don't limit your search to just one social media platform. Different influencers excel on different platforms. For instance, a beauty influencer might have a strong presence on Instagram but a limited following on Twitter. Cast a wide net to find the influencers whose audience aligns with your target demographic.

5. Prioritize Authenticity Over Follower Count

While the number of followers is important, engagement rates and authenticity matter more. An influencer with 5,000 engaged followers is more valuable than one with 50,000 passive followers. Look for influencers who genuinely connect with their audience and whose values align with your brand.

6. Reach Out Personally

Instead of generic outreach emails, personalize your communication with potential influencers. Show that you've taken the time to understand their content and explain why you believe a collaboration would be mutually beneficial.

7. Offer Value Beyond Monetary Compensation

If your budget is tight, get creative with what you can offer. Consider providing free products, exclusive discounts for the influencer's audience, or cross-promotion to showcase your commitment to a mutually beneficial partnership.

8. Build Long-Term Relationships

Building lasting relationships with influencers can yield ongoing benefits. Initiate collaborations that extend beyond a single post. This not only saves you time on finding new influencers but also establishes a stronger brand-influencer partnership.

Influencer Marketing: It's About Strategy, Not Just Spending

Influencer marketing on a budget is proof that a well-thought-out strategy can often outweigh a large financial investment. By finding influencers who resonate with your brand and audience, you can tap into a powerful network that amplifies your message without draining your budget. Remember, success in influencer marketing lies in the authenticity of your partnerships and the value you bring to the table.

So, start your journey to influencer collaboration today, and remember to always prioritize finding influencers whose passion aligns with your brand's vision. With strategic planning, creativity, and a dash of resourcefulness, you can make a big impact without the need for big bucks.

Must read: Amplifying Your Brand Message with Influencers: Best Practices for Consistency

[nitrateglow]

Favorite films discovered in 2020

Well, this year sucked. I did see some good movies though. Some even made after I was born!

Perfect Blue (dir. Satoshi Kon, 1997)

I watch a lot of thrillers and horror movies, but precious few actually unsettle me in any lasting way. This cannot be said of Perfect Blue, which gave me one of the most visceral cinematic experiences of my life. Beyond the brief flashes of bloodletting (you will never look at a screwdriver the same way again), the scariest thing about Perfect Blue might be how the protagonist has both her life and her sense of self threatened by the villains. The movie’s prescience regarding public persona is also incredibly eerie, especially in our age of social media. While anime is seen as a very niche interest (albeit one that has become more mainstream in recent years), I would highly recommend this movie to thriller fans, whether they typically watch anime or not. It’s right up there with the best of Hitchcock or De Palma.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (dir. Sergio Leone, 1966)

Nothing is better than when an iconic movie lives up to the hype. Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, and Lee Van Cleef play off of one another perfectly. I was impressed by Wallach as Tuco in particular: his character initially seems like a one-dimensional greedy criminal, but the performance is packed with wonderful moments of humanity. Do I really need to say anything about the direction? Or about the wonderful storyline, which takes on an almost mythic feel in its grandeur? Or that soundtrack?

Die Niebelungen (both movies) (dir. Fritz Lang, 1924)

I did NOT expect to love these movies as much as I did. That they would be dazzlingly gorgeous I never doubted: the medieval world of the story is brought to vivid life through the geometrical mise en scene and detailed costuming. However, the plot itself is so, so riveting, never losing steam over the course of the four hours it takes to watch both movies. The first half is heroic fantasy; the second half involves a revenge plot of almost Shakespearean proportions. This might actually be my favorite silent Fritz Lang movie now.

Muppet Treasure Island (dir. Brian Henson, 1996)

I understand that people have different tastes and all, but how does this movie have such a mixed reception? It’s absolutely hilarious. How could anybody get through the scene with “THA BLACK SPOT AGGHHHHHHH” and not declare this a masterpiece of comedy? And I risk being excommunicated from the Muppet fandom for saying it, but I like this one more than The Great Muppet Caper. It’s probably now my second favorite Muppet movie.

Belle de Jour (dir. Luis Bunuel, 1967)

I confess I’m not terribly fond of “but was it real???” movies. They tend to feel gimmicky more often than not. Belle de Jour is an exception. This is about more than a repressed housewife getting her kicks working as a daytime prostitute. The film delves into victim blaming, trauma, class, and identity-- sure, this sounds academic and dry when I put it that way, but what I’m trying to say is that these are very complicated characters and the blurring of fantasy and reality becomes thought-provoking rather than trite due to that complexity.

Secondhand Lions (dir. Tim McCanlies, 2003)

The term “family movie” is often used as a synonym for “children’s movie.” However, there is an important distinction: children’s movies only appeal to kids, while family movies retain their appeal as one grows up. Secondhand Lions is perhaps a perfect family movie, with a great deal more nuance than one might expect regarding the need for storytelling and its purpose in creating meaning for one’s life. It’s also amazingly cast: Haley Joel Osment is excellent as the juvenile lead, and Michael Caine and Robert Duvall steal the show as Osment’s eccentric uncles.

The Pawnbroker (dir. Sidney Lumet, 1964)

Controversial in its day for depicting frontal nudity, The Pawnbroker shocks today for different reasons. As the top review of the film on IMDB says, we’re used to victims of great atrocities being presented as sympathetic, good people in fiction. Here, Rod Steiger’s Sol Nazerman subverts such a trope: his suffering at the hands of the Nazis has made him a hard, closed-off person, dismissive of his second wife (herself also a survivor of the Holocaust), cold to his friendly assistant, and bitter towards himself. The movie follows Nazerman’s postwar life, vividly presenting his inner pain in a way that is almost too much to bear. Gotta say, Steiger gives one of the best performances I have ever seen in a movie here: he’s so three-dimensional and complex. The emotions on his face are registered with Falconetti-level brilliance.

The Apartment (dir. Billy Wilder, 1960)

While not the most depressing Christmas movie ever, The Apartment certainly puts a good injection of cynicism into the season. I have rarely seen a movie so adept at blending comedy, romance, and satire without feeling tone-deaf. There are a lot of things to praise about The Apartment, but I want to give a special shoutout to the dialogue. “Witty” dialogue that sounds natural is hard to come by-- so often, it just feels smart-assy and strained. Not here.

Anatomy of a Murder (dir. Otto Preminger, 1959)

I’m not big into courtroom dramas, but Anatomy of a Murder is a big exception. Its morally ambiguous characters elevate it from being a mere “whodunit” (or I guess in the case of this movie, “whydunit”), because if there’s something you’re not going to get with this movie, it’s a clear answer as to what happened on the night of the crime. Jimmy Stewart gives one of his least characteristic performances as the cynical lawyer, and is absolutely brilliant. 

Oldboy (dir. Park Chan-Wook, 2003)

Oldboy reminded me a great deal of John Webster’s 17th century tragedy The Duchess of Malfi. Both are gruesome, frightening, and heartbreaking works of art, straddling the line between sensationalism and intelligence, proving the two are not mutually exclusive. It’s both entertaining and difficult to watch. The thought of revisiting it terrifies me but I feel there is so much more to appreciate about the sheer craft on display.

Family Plot (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1976)

Family Plot is an enjoyable comedy; you guys are just mean. I know in an ideal world, Hitchcock’s swan song would be a great thriller masterpiece in the vein of Vertigo or Psycho. Family Plot is instead a silly send-up of Hitchcock’s favorite tropes, lampooning everything from the dangerous blonde archetype (with not one but two characters) to complicated MacGuffin plots. You’ll probably demand my film buff card be revoked for my opinion, but to hell with it-- this is my favorite of Hitchcock’s post-Psycho movies.

My Best Girl (dir. Sam Taylor, 1927)

Mary Pickford’s farewell to silent film also happens to be among her best movies. It’s a simple, charming romantic comedy starring her future husband, Charles “Buddy” Rogers. Pickford also gets to play an adult character here, rather than the little girl parts her public demanded she essay even well into her thirties. She and Rogers are sweet together without being diabetes-inducing, and the comedy is often laugh out loud funny. It even mocks a few tropes that anyone who watches enough old movies will recognize and probably dislike-- such as “break his heart to save him!!” (my personal most loathed 1920s/1930s trope).

Parasite (dir. Bong Joon-ho, 2019)

This feels like such a zeitgeist movie. It’s about the gap between the rich and the poor, it’s ironic,  it’s depressing, it’s unpredictable as hell. I don’t like terms like “modern classic,” because by its very definition, a classic can only be deemed as such after a long passage of time, but I have a good feeling Parasite will be considered one of the definitive films of the 2010s in the years to come.

Indiscreet (dir. Stanley Donen, 1958)

Indiscreet often gets criticized for not being Notorious more or less, which is a shame. It’s not SUPPOSED to be-- it’s cinematic souffle and both Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant elevate that light material with their perfect chemistry and comedic timing. It’s also refreshing to see a rom-com with characters over 40 as the leads-- and the movie does not try to make them seem younger or less mature, making the zany moments all the more hilarious. It’s worth seeing for Cary Grant’s jig (picture above) alone.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (dir. Joseph Sargent, 1974)

This movie embodies so much of what I love about 70s cinema: it’s gritty, irreverent, and hard-hitting. It’s both hilarious and suspenseful-- I was tense all throughout the run time. I heard there was a remake and it just seems... so, so pointless when you already have this gem perfect as it is.

They All Laughed (dir. Peter Bogdonavich, 1981)

Bogdonavich’s lesser known homage to 1930s screwball comedy is also a weirdly autumnal movie. Among the last gasps of the New Hollywood movement, it is also marks the final time Audrey Hepburn would star in a theatrical release. The gentle comedy, excellent ensemble cast (John Ritter is the standout), and the mature but short-lived romance between Hepburn and Ben Gazarra’s characters make this a memorably bittersweet gem.

The Palm Beach Story (dir. Preston Sturges, 1942)

Absolutely hilarious. I was watching this with my parents in the room. My mom tends to like old movies while my dad doesn’t, but both of them were laughing aloud at this one. Not much else to say about it, other than I love Joel McCrea the more movies I see him in-- though it’s weird seeing him in comedies since I’m so used to him as a back-breaking man on the edge in The Most Dangerous Game!

Nothing Sacred (dir. William Wellman, 1937)

I tend to associate William Wellman with the pre-code era, so I’ve tried delving more into his post-code work. Nothing Sacred is easily my favorite of those films thus far, mainly for Carole Lombard but also because the story still feels pretty fresh due to the jabs it takes at celebrity worship and moral hypocrisy. For a satire, it’s still very warm towards its characters, even when they’re misbehaving or deluding themselves, so it’s oddly a feel-good film too.

Applause (dir. Rouben Mamoulian, 1929)

I love watching early sound movies, but my inner history nerd tends to enjoy them more than the part of me that, well, craves good, well-made movies. Most early sound films are pure awkward, but there’s always an exception and Applause is one of them. While the plot’s backstage melodrama is nothing special, the way the story is told is super sophisticated and expressive for this period of cinema history, and Helen Morgan makes the figure of the discarded burlesque queen seem truly human and tragic rather than merely sentimental.

Topaz (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1969)

Another late Hitchcock everyone but me seems to hate. After suffering through Torn Curtain, I expected Hitchcock’s other cold war thriller was going to be dull as dishwater, but instead I found an understated espionage movie standing in stark contrast to the more popular spy movies of the period. It’ll never be top Hitchcock, of course-- still it was stylish and enjoyable, with some truly haunting moments. I think it deserves more appreciation than it’s been given.

What were your favorite cinematic discoveries in 2020?

[inkedstarlight]

Bittersweet: Chapter One

Summary: Nesta up and moved the minute she graduated high school. Now, seven years later, her father has died. After years of separation, Nesta is now living in the same city as her sisters, with Elain as her roommate. Feyre introduces Elain and Nesta to the Inner Circle. But they're missing a certain member... Cassian returns to the Marine Corps to find two new members of the Inner Circle. He pushes Nesta's buttons more than anyone ever has. Cue heavy angst, mutual pining, and a very, very slow burn. Note: So I’m reposting this because I made a lot of changes to the fic and just wanted to start fresh. I had deleted the last things I posted for it, but now it’s officially here! I also just uploaded it on AO3 too, and you can read chapter one here! Warnings: heavy angst Bittersweet Masterlist

June

Nesta was accepted into graduate school today, and she didn’t know whether to cry or smile.

To throw a pity party or a celebration.

To be or not to be.

She was trifling through her mail this morning when she saw the large envelope with the words ‘Prythian University’ printed front and center. She wasted no time ripping it open, and a gasp left her mouth when she read the first sentence.

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Master’s program of English at Prythian University.

She had grabbed her phone to tell someone about the news, but her smile quickly faded when she realized she had no one to call, no one to celebrate with. No one to tell her, “I’m proud of you.”

Nesta had scrolled through her contact list, which consisted of only fourteen people. Fourteen people and not one of them close enough with her to warrant such a text. Heart sinking in her chest, Nesta slammed her phone on the coffee table and fell on the couch. A lump formed in her throat, but she refused to let a single tear shed.

But she was in no position to complain. Nesta chose to move away. She chose to be alone. She was the only person to blame for her own unhappiness.  

Nesta had lived in the dreary state of Massachusetts since she graduated high school, leaving her family behind in Maine. The place that conjured nightmares, that was teeming with ghosts. Every corner she turned in her hometown, she was met face to face with her past – the one she so desperately tried to forget. Her family had lived there since Nesta was born. They didn’t have the funds to move to a better town or a bigger house. Up to this point, Nesta’s entire life happened in that horrible town.

Her younger sister, Elain, cried when Nesta announced her decision to move to Massachusetts for college. Feyre’s eyes remained dry, but she wished Nesta good luck.

Nesta and her two sisters had been close as little girls. Sure, they were wildly different from each other – Elain was intelligent and soft-spoken, Feyre creative and stubborn, Nesta hot-headed and brash. They argued. They resented each other in ways sisters did. But they looked out for each other. Since Nesta was just five years old, she did everything she could to protect her sisters, whether they knew it or not.

When Nesta was just fourteen years old, their mother left them. She walked out of the door forever, and everything changed. Elain was crushed but she continued to look out for their father, whose depression worsened when his wife left without saying goodbye. Feyre took her absence the hardest. She had the closest relationship with their mother as the baby of the family, relying on her more than her other sisters. Feyre was the last one to see her. Apparently, their mother made her promise to look out for the rest of the family. She said Feyre was the only one who could do it. And because Feyre was stubborn to a fault, she kept that promise every damned day.

And Nesta? Nesta was relieved and confused and angry and heartbroken. She still was.

So, when Nesta left for college, she promised that she would keep in touch with Elain and Feyre. They all promised. However, they inevitably got busy with their own lives and grew apart. When Elain graduated high school just two years after Nesta, she chose to remain in Maine to tend to their sick father. She attended community college, even though she’d dreamed of being a pediatrician since she was just nine years old. She sacrificed her opportunity for a higher education, and Nesta admired her for that. At the same time, however, she also wanted more for her sister. She had a habit of being too selfless. Always giving, never receiving.

Just a year later, Feyre became the last to graduate. She too flew from the nest, heading west to Colorado. Nesta wasn’t the only one who had a distaste for their hometown. Feyre was born an adventurer. She wants to explore, create, travel. More importantly, Feyre was doing something for herself. Feyre had assumed the role of provider when their mother left them in their youth. At only thirteen, she managed to find a job, and continued to do so until she was eighteen. Feyre had grand plans to visit every New England state during her high school career. She wouldn’t shut up about the places she would see, the people she would meet.

Feyre didn’t stepped foot outside of Maine until she graduated.

The only person Nesta completely cut loose was her father. Elain and Feyre had tried to rationalize with her about this many times, but Nesta put an end to every discussion.

Elain was very close with their father. Feyre was neutral. Nesta resented him. She knew they judged her for that, even if it wasn’t explicitly said. She also understood their reasoning.

They just didn’t understand hers.

Last Nesta heard, Feyre had found her niche at college. Back when they called more often, she had gushed about her new friends and latest conquest. His name was Rhysand (to which Nesta sniggered – who named their child that?), and the pair had recently begun dating after a year of pining for one another. Nesta told her that their love story sounded like the kind of fanfiction she (shamefully) loved. From what Feyre told her, it sounded like she was head over heels, despite her sarcastic deflections.

That was two years ago.

Of course, Nesta had spoken to both her sisters since then. It was rare for them to call, but they would share occasional text conversations. Just last month, Nesta texted Feyre to congratulate her on graduating Summa Cum Laude. It didn’t go much beyond that, though.

Nesta and Elain’s text message history was quite sad to look through. Once a month, Elain would send her an update on their father’s wellbeing. Nesta would not respond. The next month, she would receive another update. No response.

It never angered Nesta to see those texts; it only saddened her.

Elain wore her heart on her sleeve, ever the peacemaker in the family. Her intentions were pure, but she didn’t know the story of Nesta and their father’s relationship. She’d asked, but Nesta was always quick to shut her down.

Despite their one-sided texting, Elain called Nesta every couple of months. It was awkward, but it warmed Nesta’s heart to hear her sister’s voice. Their calls never lasted more than ten minutes, Nesta the one to end the conversation. When they hung up, however, guilt crushed her. Nesta was slowly losing everyone she loved, and it was entirely her fault.

After Nesta had gotten her undergraduate degree in Massachusetts, she worked at two minimum wage jobs for three years to save up enough money to pay for grad school (along with several loans). Her first choice, Prythian University, happened to be just outside of Boulder, the town where Feyre was living. It was also one of the best graduate schools for an English degree in the country.

Nesta considered telling Feyre her news. Obviously, she had to share it at some point. But anxiety crept into her chest whenever she picked up her phone to tell her. What if Feyre wasn’t happy about it? What if she didn’t want Nesta living near her? She had created her own life in a new state. Nesta couldn’t just interrupt after years of shutting her out.

After spending the entire day overthinking, Nesta decided to venture downtown in the evening for a small, lonesome celebration. She would treat herself to a drink (or two), go home, and read a romance novel or two while Iroh, her black, grumpy cat, snuggled in her lap.

So, there she was. Sitting at the local bar, legs crossed as she people watched. Nesta had even dressed up for the occasion. She wore a dress that fell to her ankles, the forest green color complimenting her golden-brown hair. Her arm sleeve tattoo was on full display, and her other ink that disappeared beneath her dress. Dark kohl coated her eyes with a smokey finish.

The bar itself was a welcoming environment. String lights latticed the ceiling, the bulbs providing dim lighting for those who had secrets to keep. Wooden tables faced a small stage at the opposite end of the building – presumably where they held open mic nights. Dark oak walls were plastered with photographs, license plates, and other décor.

It being a Tuesday night, there weren’t many people out. Nesta noticed a couple middle-aged men drinking beers together, an older couple sitting close in a booth, and a small group of what looked like college aged women. Smiles were etched on all their faces. Nesta lifted her hand to touch the frown she wore. It only deepened.

Just be happy for once, Nesta thought to herself.

As the bartender refilled her gin and tonic, someone approached the barstool to her left. Nesta glanced sideway to discover a young man with a hard face. He looked about her age with dark hair and a tanned complexion. He was handsome in a rugged kind of way. Removing his leather jacket, he revealed the fitted shirt he wore, which clung a body that screamed “I go to the gym every day.” Before he sat next to her, the man dropped a duffle bag on the floor with a loud thud.

He didn’t seem to notice her as he flagged down the bartender and ordered a drink. His voice was low, tired. She recognized the sound. It was the sound of someone who was exhausted, and not just in the physical sense.

“Running away from home?” Nesta asked. The man turned his head to find her gesturing to his oversized bag.

Why did I just say that? she asked herself. Nesta rarely made conversation, much less with some stranger at a bar. It was abundantly clear that she had certainly drunk enough alcohol to wash away any and all inhibitions.

He chuckled. “Something like that.” The man peered at her closer. His hazel eyes twinkled in the dim lights as he inspected her. “Bad day?”

“Care to elaborate?”

A sober Nesta would have shut him down before he had the chance to even ask. A sober Nesta wouldn’t have even made conversation with this dark, handsome man.

Alas, she was three drinks down and had no intention of stopping anytime soon.

“I got into my dream school,” she started. “It has a really great grad program. When I read the letter, I reached for my phone to tell someone. Only, I realized I had no one to call. I… I realized that I’m all on my own.”

He stared at her for a moment. “That’s quite a feat. You should be proud.”

Nesta shrugged, uncomfortable with the man’s genuine tone. She never figured out how to tolerate a compliment, much less accept it.

They fell silent before he spoke again.

“I’m about to be on my own, too,” he confessed, focusing his attention on his calloused hands that rested on the counter. “And I don’t know how to feel either.”

No wonder he looks so exhausted, Nesta thought. She could see the conflict in his body language, his tone. War was waging in the stranger’s eyes, and it didn’t seem like the first time he’d gone to battle.

She wanted to ask where he was going. What was in his bag. Who he was leaving behind. But Nesta only nodded with understanding.

I see you.

In that moment, they formed some sort of kinship. They weren’t just two strangers at the bar. It was longing, Nesta realized. Longing for a connection, a companionship. To escape from the perpetual loneliness.

They stared at each other until the man broke his gaze when he checked his watch. He cursed.

“I have to leave now if I want to catch the bus,” he explained. Nesta watched him down the rest of his drink and stand up.

“Good luck,” Nesta said feebly as he shrugged on his jacket.

She wanted to say more. He seemed to need it… and so did she. “Whenever you get lonely, just remember that strange girl at the bar. She’ll be thinking about you.”

His face softened. “Good luck,” he whispered.

[tickle-her-senseless]

Important

Hey all. Just wanted to respond to questions from members of a couple of Discord servers run by the same person following a chaotic couple of days. I’m putting all the info and screenshots (minus names, pics and locations) here, so I can just direct people to this post if they have questions.

I had been intending to just head back here to Tumblr and let the situation lie, but unfortunately the reason given by the automated bot for my ban mentioned “crossing consent multiple times”. Today, friends have been sending me worried questions relating to this, so I’m concerned that the server owner may have made a similar claim in public. Now I pretty much have to say something as that’s such a serious thing to say about someone, particularly on any kind of kink scene.

The mention of consent actually relates to the server owner. Near the beginning of the lockdown, she and I were speaking a lot, she began to tease me in DMs, I responded with a piece of writing dedicated to her, we exchanged pictures - and eventually confessed a mutual attraction. We made plans for the end of lockdown, she talked about driving through Europe and showing me her favourite places. Although her English is perfect, I began learning her language through an app as I wanted to make the effort (Brits are renowned for being lazy with languages), and kept it up every day for months, amusing her with my clumsy pronunciation on calls. Sometimes she would send me explicit comments/thoughts, although I was always nervous to initiate that kind of thing.

One day she sent a message saying that she was still coming to terms with the end of her last relationship and would need to take things more slowly, as she was finding romantic sentiments (as opposed to kinky ones) hard to deal with. Naturally I replied “Of course, in that case I’ll wait for you to initiate that stuff once you’re ready”. At some point afterwards, she sent me a message out of the blue saying “I want cuddles ❤️” and I thought “oh, this is a level she’s OK with” and responded. I think it was the following day when I tried to pick up where we’d left off (without going any further, just cuddling in bed type stuff). She reciprocated and we continued. I also (in an attempt to consider her feelings) asked her if the idea of me posting an old session video on my blog for an American friend would upset her at all. Intending to reassure her about my intentions, I mentioned ”...not wanting to tickle anyone except you and saying no to all of the other UK people on the servers who are asking about post-lockdown sessions”. I also said “I do feel a commitment to you”, which (with hindsight) was probably a foolish or misleading word to use in a purely ler/lee sense.

A week later she sent a message I didn’t immediately understand along the lines of “I thought you were going to let me initiate romantic stuff, you don’t seem to have understood me at all”. I wasn’t sure what she was referring to - the recent story I’d written for her? Use of the word “commitment”? Something else? I tried to talk with her on the phone as some wires had clearly become crossed via text, but she refused for five weeks (citing not being in the right headspace), before finally calling when I sent a message explaining that anxiously waiting to mend the friendship in lockdown by myself for over a month was having a terrible effect on me mentally, and I was going to have to “throw in the towel”, wishing her luck and every happiness.

During our phone call, she claimed that the main issue had been the fluffy cuddle messages which she took to be a serious and repeated boundary/consent violation (citing her wish to avoid romantic talk). This was the last thing I expected and really shocked me. Of course I apologised frantically, repeatedly and profusely. I also said I hoped she could see how I’d made the mistake innocently and honestly when:

- she initiated it the first time, so I assumed it was something she was happy to talk about.

- when I picked up where we left off, she didn’t say “Actually, d’you mind if we don’t today?” and continued the cuddle talk instead.

She said that because she initiated it one day didn’t mean that she wanted to continue the day after - fair enough. The difficult thing to accept was the idea that she felt so violated by the attempt to carry on the next day that she found herself frozen to the point of not being able to say “actually I’m not in the mood just now” and carried on with it, and that I was at fault regardless. She even used the word “harassing” to describe it, which I found very harsh considering my inability to read minds over hundreds of miles. Especially when I couldn’t see or hear her to pick up on body language, tone of voice etc to guess that she was saying one thing but feeling a different way. She said, word for word, “It’s like when someone’s choking you and you can’t speak, you’re literally choking me!” As someone who, as a teenager, was once choked on the ground by my own father until I blacked out and lost bladder control, I did see that as a stretch at best, but chose not to challenge it as she was upset.

I also suggested that, looking back, we probably should’ve clarified exactly what was meant by “romantic stuff” when we almost certainly had different takes on it eg. I’ve cuddled after every 1:1 session I’ve ever had, even platonic ones, purely from the angle of aftercare and a sense of having shared an experience. I was told that despite our different ages and experiences of romantic love, there was only one objectively correct definition of “romantic” - hers.

We went around in circles for over four hours - I apologised over and over while explaining how I got the wrong idea and asking her to understand and forgive, while she tearfully called me a gaslighter, a consent violator, an excuse-maker, a harasser ... eventually I collapsed into tears myself (I’m ashamed to admit), totally worn down, and she softened a bit. She finally said she didn’t believe I’d done anything intentionally, and she still wanted to spend time together in the real world. We made up, spoke warmly as friends for an hour, and I left the call exhausted but relieved. After a few days’ reflection, though, I decided against ever travelling to meet her for real, as the experience had shaken me considerably - and I figured it’d be risky to meet someone in real life when I didn’t trust her completely not to accuse me over either nothing or an innocent misunderstanding. I was still wondering how to explain this to her when things got wild on the server.

A few days ago, a Tumblr user with a stated age of 18 contacted me to say nice things about my blog, which (I hope this doesn’t sound conceited) isn’t out of the ordinary. When she told me she was English and totally new to the scene, I suggested the Discord server as a place where she might make some friends (given the large UK membership) and sent her an invite link. The rest is set out in the mega screenshot saga below, which begins in the staff chat. I’m “SwiftX”, my real name is in teal, the server owner is in blue and her friend and co-moderator is in purple. All other names and locations are in black:

Before sending the last message, I actually typed out five different versions of a counter-argument before eventually deciding to step back. Being totally dismissed and lectured by two people about British labour laws and pub ID measures by two non-Brits nearly a decade my junior was irritating, yes, but the baseless suggestion that maybe I’d done something in private with the new member and was somehow “arguing against” ensuring she wasn’t a child because of that horrified me. As if I’d allow a child access to explicit content to cover my own discomfort - and anyway, I’d done no more than exchange greetings with the girl and point her towards the server, where she was actually verified and granted access to all channels by the guy in purple, not me! After a couple of hours’ contemplation, I politely asked to be removed from the moderator staff, but a disdainful response to my request prompted me to explain it, and why I was upset. Not all of what I said was necessary to say, but all of it was true:

She immediately muted me for 48 hours - “staff disrespect and degrading comments”. Not a problem, I had work to be getting on with. Late that evening, however, her friend arrived in my DMs:

Him: ...it’s creepy that a 32 year old man is potentially teasing a minor

Me: Well I can prove I haven’t teased her, her profile says she’s 18, and the person who exposed her to explicit content was you when you verified her - despite admitting to having had doubts about her age.

Him: ...I’ll drop that subject

Moderator of the year, ladies and gentlemen 🙄 Anyhoo, later that day I received a ban notification from both servers run by this owner, citing “crossing consent multiple times, guilting and being degrading along with causing several conflicts”. I was surprised to feel a flood of relief, but the consent mention really disturbed and worried me, as I’d been under the impression that the server owner had fully accepted that the earlier stuff had been an innocent misunderstanding. Later that day, good friends of mine began sending me worried DMs questioning my record and asking if I’d been inappropriate with a bunch of people, so I’m concerned that the staff may have said something that (deliberately or not) has encouraged speculation. This post is intended to be a landing page to which I can direct anyone concerned about my character so that they they can form their own opinions.

When my follower count began to take off, I became determined to avoid any kind of rift with another prominent member of the community. It’s so frustrating to watch an already niche subculture splinter into factions over needless disputes. This is why I’ve kept names etc. out of this post. If anyone suspects they might know who the server owner is, or actually knows who she is because they’re here from Discord, I would implore them not to out or target her in any way. There are two reasons:

- I don’t want to start a flaming war, I’m desperate to move on and begin improving my mental health after an awful couple of months ... I just need to protect my reputation first.

- I don’t actually think she wanted drama ... I think her genuine perception is that I’ve said something horrible to her. That’s more upsetting than the idea of her trying to smear me, to be honest. I suspect she feels like crap too, and I don’t want to add to her mental load. I honestly hope she’s OK.

Hopefully this will reassure my friends and anyone else questioning my character because of whatever’s been said in that server. I’d also hope that my history of positive interaction here, including being on great terms with everyone I’ve ever had a session with, supports what I’m saying further. It’s a shame this had to happen, but I’m trying to think positively about what lies ahead and trust in my real friends. I’d also like to thank the other members of the server staff who’ve privately sent me messages of support and sympathy having already seen the entire exchange.

[thegreenwolf]

Note: This blog post was originally posted on No Unsacred Place in 2011, and then later Paths Through the Forests. I am moving it over to my current blog at http://www.thegreenwolf.com/blog so I can have more of my writings in one place.

This is part two of a two-part series; you may read part one here.

There are many purposes for shapeshifting—celebration, drawing on the power of the being you’re changing into, learning to change yourself, etc. There are also many techniques, some stationary, others involving dance and other movement. This version of shapeshifting is quieter, and is primarily for the purpose of creating connection with, and fostering awareness of, other beings. It’s a way to begin healing the rift we as a species have created between us and the rest of the beings we share this world with. It requires a certain level of intimacy; you can’t become a being without having some empathy for it, and the world could certainly do with more empathy all around.

Although you can theoretically shapeshift (non-physically, of course) into any being (and I use that term to refer to animals, plants, waterways, mountains, and more), I recommend choosing a being who is physically close to you, such as a particular tree or waterway near your home, or a species of animal that you see frequently. Even in my fairly urban Portland neighborhood, I still have a huge maple tree right outside my kitchen window. No matter the weather or my state of health, I can still check on “my” tree to see how it’s doing, how many leaves are left today, who’s perched in the branches, and so forth. And I have a good vantage point to watch the crows, fox and grey squirrels, and scrub jays that frequent the tree and surrounding high places.

You’ve already created something of a personal connection there, but let’s talk about taking it further. How much time do you spend every day observing this being? If it’s something relatively stationary like a stone or pond, try to make a daily visit in all weather, at least as much as you’re able. Or, with animals, see if there’s a place where you can fairly reliably see individuals of the species, if not daily then at least regularly. Take note of what you see each time. How does the being change with the time of day, the weather, even the seasons? How does it fit into its niche in the ecosystem, and are there any changes in that over time? What about human impact?

Balance out all this experience with some research as well. Read about the being online and in books; talk to others who have worked with it. Get the objective viewpoint to balance out your subjective observations and impressions, and allow them to complement each other.

This all can be an investment of years. That’s okay. We spend years getting to know other people; it works for other beings as well. Even after you’ve tried shapeshifting to this being, you can still keep up the daily observations, just as you may regularly check in on loved ones.

There’s no single, universal “right time” to make the step from observation to shapeshifting. A lot of it has to do with mutual trust; a being that doesn’t trust you won’t open up, and it’ll be harder for you to be receptive to a being you’re wary of. When you feel the time is right, go to the being. If the being is stationary, ask to sit on, against, or otherwise near it. For animals, sit where you’ve been able to observe them best (hopefully by now they’re used to your presence). If you are unable to be at the place itself, such as for health or safety reasons, find a place at home or otherwise where you can meditate for a while, undisturbed, and perhaps have some reminder of the being you’re connecting with at your side.

If you’ve already “spoken” with the being or a spiritual representation thereof, great! If you haven’t done such communication yet, you may wish to use a guided meditation to introduce yourself. Here’s a simple one:Close your eyes. Relax. Breathe. Be aware of where the being is in relation to you. Imagine a shining cord extending from your third eye to the being—not quite touching, but inviting the being to make that last step to complete the cord between you. Once the cord is complete, greet the being, and begin the conversation. When you feel the time is proper, ask the being for its help with shapeshifting, that you want to have a better understanding of it by becoming, even just a little, more like it. Allow it to answer as it will, and go from there.

If the being isn’t ready, respect that. Keep up your visits, and when you feel ready, try asking permission again (unless you have gotten a very firm “No, never, not at all” from the being).

Once you have gained permission, then it’s time to try the shapeshifting itself. Go back to the place where you can be with the being without disturbance. Close your eyes, breathe, and relax. Be very aware of your boundaries, physical and otherwise—where “you” end and the rest of the world begins. Now imagine those boundaries are becoming much more permeable.

Make physical contact with the being or its representation, and allow the boundaries between you and it to be more blurred. You may feel as though you are “melting” into each other, or you may feel your own form change and move to be more like that of the being. You may even feel you are being carried along by the being, a sort of “rider”; there may even be multiple representatives if you’re working with a very social animal such as schooling fish. Any way it manifests, allow this change to happen, and observe how your perceptions and thoughts change as well.

What is it like to be that being? How does it differ from being yourself? How do you feel? Is it fun? Scary? Do you feel curious? Are some things more important to you now than they were before, and are others less so? How comfortable are you in this form?

Is the being itself staying in contact with you while you shift? Try asking it questions, if you can, or share observations—after all, it’s the expert on being itself!

When you’re ready to come back, thank the being for its help. Then imagine what your body feels like normally, or state your name, your address, and other “human” things. Don’t rush it; allow yourself to ease back in, let the boundaries reform at their own pace. Once you’re awake, take some time to ground. Eat something protein-heavy, observe the way your hands move, recite the lyrics to one of your favorite songs. Do things that gently bring you back to being human.

After you’re done, think about how you feel about the being now. Do you have more empathy for its place in the world, and the challenges it may face? Do you feel differently about yourself and your own place here? What may you have learned from this experience that you didn’t know or understand before?

Do keep in mind that all of your impressions are still processed by your very human brain and mind, even in the depths of the shapeshift. You can’t entirely sever your connection to being human. It is a good idea to check your impressions against more objective information, and to have sensitivity toward whom you want to identify with. It may not cause much trouble for you to be convinced that mosquitoes really suck other animals’ blood because they want to steal their power. However, shapeshifting into American Mink, and then being convinced that you now have to free all the caged mink at fur farms, is a bad idea, no matter how deeply you may have connected with that spirit.

Done with care, shapeshifting can be a highly effective way to be more empathetic toward other beings, to raise our everyday awareness of their presence, and to foster greater consideration of them both individually, and as a society.

In my next post, I’ll be offering more practical information on methods of shapeshifting, with a special emphasis on practicing it as a way of connecting with other beings.

Did you enjoy this post? Please consider supporting my work on Patreon, buying my art and books on Etsy, or tipping me at Ko-fi!

[internetandnetwork]

6 Surefire Strategies to Help You Build More Backlinks to Your Website

Whether you have been around for long or are just getting started with SEO, you must have spent some time researching it and discovered how much links matter to rank organically in the search results. Google sees links as a lot more than just a ‘sweet gesture.’ To Google, it acts as a vote of trust that your site is reliable and credible. Over the years, marketers and SEOs have tried and tested numerous different approaches to increase their site’s backlinks and expand their overall backlink profile. Among these also emerged some unethical practices that made room for link schemes and other black hat SEO practices.

As more and more websites started adopting SEO practices, the link building realm became overly populous – making it all the more so challenging to stick out and earn links from the vastly popular domains.

Simply put, the conventional backlinks outreach is simply no longer as effective as it used to be once. Today, even highly personalized emails can hit the skids. Building backlinks to your site is no longer an easy feat. If you want to increase your website’s domain authority, you need to go above and beyond to seek new options.

And that is exactly why we are here. What follows are six surefire strategies that are a must-try for you if you, too, are struggling to earn backlinks from credible domains.

1. PRODUCE LINK-WORTHY CONTENT

SEO trends will keep shifting, but great content never gets outdated.

However, what ‘great content’ means really depends upon who you are asking – it will vary from person to person. But if you ask the definition of ‘great content’ in terms of link building, then it is simply a piece of content worth linking to.

In order for a piece of content to qualify as ‘link-worthy,’ it should meet at least one of the following benchmarks:

Deliver original or aggregated data

Offer a unique way or point of view

Be the most authentic and apt resource on the topic

For instance, in an article featuring the latest update introduced by a brand, most websites will link to that particular brand’s article only about whom the content is written. Why so? Because clearly, it will offer the most accurate resource on the specific topic.

While there would be plenty of other websites covering the particular topic just as accurately, the brand is the original source of this data; thus, it seems to be the most reliable one. Therefore, it is the most ‘link-worthy’.

Your content creation strategy should be aimed at producing A-1 content that builds links by itself. If you are able to make great content and optimize it well enough that it acquires one of the five top-ranking positions in the SERPs, you are in a prominent position already.

It’s very straightforward. Let’s understand it with another example. You are creating a comprehensive piece of content on the topic “link building.” You need to include some examples as well, but you have not covered that subject in any of your articles yet. Now since linking to your own content is no longer the option, the next thing that pops up in your mind is to head out to Google and search for content that will be most useful to your readers. So you search on Google and found that the first-ranking content in the search results best suits your needs and also provides additional information to your readers. So you link to it.

You saw what happened there? A high-quality content optimized for SEO will generate backlinks on autopilot.

However, the crucial thing to note here is that this strategy will take time to yield results. You can’t publish a piece today and expect to earn ten backlinks by tomorrow.

This strategy works best when paired with other effective modern link building strategies.

2. PR DRIVEN OUTREACH

Right after reading this, you might be wondering what does SEO and PR even have in common?

However, establishing relationships is one of the leading techniques to get the job done when it comes to link building, which also happens to be the key to successful PR.

Begin with interacting with the people in your industry or niche and those working at the most sought-after online publications. This does not mean bombarding every connection in your LinkedIn network and soliciting backlinks or media placements. It means building bonafide and mutually profitable relationships.

Start leveraging social media platforms and establishing a brand for your organization as well as your thought leaders. Connect with people in your industry and start sharing creative and original content and ideas.

You do not necessarily need to be the CEO of your organization in order to build yourself as a personal brand.

Moreover, how you demonstrate yourself online is still an extension of the organization you are currently working for. Expanding your own brand will also help increase awareness for your organization.

As you start building connections and become well-recognized among your peers and industry, you will realize that it is a lot easier for you now to pitch them for media placement opportunities.

Again you must be wondering how media placements can result in the generation of backlinks?

It’s pretty simple – when a publisher decides to feature your brand on a webinar, podcast, or live show, they will also promote this feature on their website and across social media platforms.

Once you have successfully obtained the placement, ask your POC (point of contact) to add a link back to your website, as it will be helpful for the audience. Since if the viewers or listeners want to know more about your company, they can do so by simply clicking the link, which will save them the trouble of searching you online.

Building relationships is a long-term game, but the rewards make it worthwhile.

3. CREATE GUEST POSTS FOR EXTERNAL PUBLICATIONS

Guest posting for various external publications comes with a range of marketing benefits. It helps in positioning your brand as a thought leader in your industry, reaching your target audience in a new way, thus expanding your reach, and just like you, though – building links!

However, similar to numerous other link building strategies, guest posting too became too spammy too quickly. People started assembling mediocre content, incorporating as many links as possible into the content and sending it to any site that would post it.

Consequently, the majority of the publications formed rigid guest posting guidelines to wipe out writers who were merely producing content to acquire backlinks.

Google, too noticed this. Recently, one of Google’s Webmaster Trends Analysts warned SEO professionals and marketers to refrain from leveraging guest posting as a spammy link building strategy.

Having said that, guest posting sure works well to grow your site’s domain authority provided that you approach it in an ethical way.

To begin with, only approach publications that your target audience often visits. Putting in the effort to create content for a publication that your audience does not even visit in the first place is a clear-cut waste of time and resources.

You may be able to earn a couple of links, but it won’t be in front of your target audience.

In addition to all this, always focus your efforts on the quality of your content and the value it offers to your readers. Only because the content you are writing will be published on an external website doesn’t mean you should give it any less attention than you would if it was for your own site.

4. BUILD INFOGRAPHICS

Infographics can immediately raise a piece of content from great to invaluable.

However, without the presence of appropriate resources, the creation of infographics might not be the easiest thing to do. These can be easily time-consuming and resource-intensive, all the more so if you are gathering original data.

This is why most content creators and writers choose to hunt for infographics online and link to them in their posts rather than take the time and effort to build their own. And as one can figure out, this brings forward another viable link building opportunity by using original infographics. In place of simply featuring an infographic on your website, you can also choose to pitch it to external publications in exchange for backlinks.

Indeed a great deal of work goes into building a single infographic, but the backlink potential is immense in the long run. Just like a great piece of content can continue to generate backlinks for several months or even years after it has been published, a compelling, informative, and engaging infographic can have the same impact.

5. RECLAIM LOST BACKLINKS

When it comes to increasing your site’s domain authority, you don’t always need to reinvent the wheel.

A great way to rack up a few quick wins is to analyze your own website and look at the lost backlinks. Every link is a reward for all the hard work you have put in, and losing them is indeed baffling but regaining them is not as hard as you may assume.

Various reasons can be behind the loss of your links. Maybe the linking page was removed (404 error) or redirected, or maybe the publisher simply removed the link.

Regardless of whatever the reason is, it is definitely worth the trouble to try and reclaim those hard-earned lost links. At the end of the day, there was a reason that writer chose to link to you. There is also a possibility that they have no idea that the original page is removed or redirected.

You can check for lost links using some SEO tools. There are plenty of them available in the market with in-built features that let you see the links you have lost and why.

As soon as you have discovered all the lost links, the next thing you need to do is reach out to the publisher/writer. While emails are the most convenient way to do this, LinkedIn InMail is just as good. When contacting the publisher, remember to keep your message short and crisp and be sure to point out why your content is still useful enough for them to link to.

Just like in any other type of link outreach, there is a slight possibility that the publisher might not get back to you. This brings us back to the point – it is easier to reclaim a lost backlink from a website that has already seen the value in your page than starting from scratch trying to acquire a fresh one.

6. LOOK FOR UNLINKED BRAND MENTIONS

Another hack for a quick win – check for unlinked brand mentions.

Each and every positive brand mentioned on the internet is a window of opportunity to acquire backlinks. If a website is taking the time to mention your brand somewhere, it is a clear-cut indication that they already see some value in offerings, content, or point of view.

Moreover, if they are citing your brand’s name somewhere, inserting a link back to you will help their site visitors as they will know where to click if they want to know more about your business.

You can utilize advanced Google Search or some third-party tools to search for pages where your business is mentioned.

If your brand name is similar to some common phrase or word, then you might want to narrow down your search using some keywords related to your solution or industry.

Once you discover an unlinked mention, you can quickly send an email or a LinkedIn InMail to the publisher asking for a link. The best practice is always to tell them how it will be beneficial for their readers.

Doing this every now and then is a great way to generate links and also get insights into how people perceive your business.

Wrap Up

To conclude, link building is no easy feat.

Nor is there any silver bullet that will grow your website’s backlink profile overnight. Want to know the actual key to successful link building? – Merging long-term strategies with short-term techniques.

When planning your long-term strategies, consider writing ‘link-worthy’ content, and start building connections with other people in your industry. Besides this ongoing process, take out some time to carry out some more short-term tactics that will help you score some quick wins, like searching unlinked mentions and reclaiming your lost links.

Link building requires a lot more than just sending a few cold emails and keeping your fingers crossed in the hope that the publisher will get back to you. Similar to every other SEO strategy, this too requires all-encompassing planning and lots of patience before you start seeing the results of all your hard work. However, what makes it worth the wait is the long-lasting, immense potential of backlinks that can do wonders in making your SEO efforts successful.

Hariom Balhara is an inventive person who has been doing intensive research in particular topics and writing blogs and articles for E Global Soft Solutions. E Global Soft Solutions is a Digital Marketing, SEO, SMO, PPC and Web Development company that comes with massive experiences. We specialize in digital marketing, Web Designing and development, graphic design, and a lot more.

SOURCE : 6 Surefire Strategies to Help You Build More Backlinks to Your Website

[electric-sugar-darling]

“Other”

For as long as I've known, I've been "other."

I am "other" in the eyes of a dominantly white American census. They see my brown skin (though sometimes, they claim to not "see color.") They see my smaller, almond-shaped eyes. They hear my speaking voice that, while occasionally quiet and stuttering, but firm when it comes to things I am passionate about, seems to blend with the American standard. Not a "foreign" accent anywhere within earshot. Though when I would go back to visit the Philippines in the past, I'd occasionally get poked at for sounding like an "American boy." But hearing how I speak now, it is assumed the colonization has worked, and that I am relatable from an American perspective. Yet when I speak of the cultural dissonance and assimilation I have faced in this country as a first generation Filipino immigrant growing up stateside, I'm told I just need to "work harder" and "be more confident," but assured that I am "beautiful" regardless. Honey, you don't know the half of how hard I've "worked," and what exactly I've "worked" on, to make my supposed "confidence" what it is today, to bring it to an acceptable level for me to play whatever functional role I am meant to play in this modern American society. But thanks for calling me beautiful, I guess. I am "other" when it comes to Filipino ethnicity and culture, because even though I am Filipino, I still struggle to fully connect with it, beyond reading up on histories, cultural norms, and current events of my home country as an adult, but never got to fully absorb and internalize as a child because I moved to the States when I was four years old. As such, I was too busy in my childhood attempting to fit into the white American standard to which schools are subconsciously defaulted in this country, under the guise of the United States being a "melting pot." The concept of a melting pot is so colorful, and attractive, and appealing, and almost comforting to a little brown child born in one country, but brought to an entirely new country, before education and social interactions could really even begin for that child ("that child" is Me, if I've lost you.) But the problem with the idea of a melting pot is that when things melt down, the individuality of the different flavors lose themselves when they all attempt to come together. And while visually, everything seems to have combined into one, it is still incongruous. Certain flavors overpower others or cancel them out completely, especially when there's too much of one, and only a pinch of "other." The idea of melting implies that everything has amalgamated into one, to make it easier to digest for the mass palate, specifically the status quo. The cost is that celebrating genuine individuality and uniqueness is (literally) lost in the mix, under the guise of "unity." But thanks for tagging me in your post about lumpia, I guess. I am "other" as a gay man, in a sea of image-obsessed, chiseled bodies, meant primarily for the white porn star standard of 'beach bod 5'9".' There's no room for overweight. There's no room for too tall. No room for stretch marks. No room for extra skin left over from weight loss, even though I was under the baseless assurance that losing weight would equal me being supposedly more "desirable." No room for being "too masculine looking" for guys that prefer their bottoms to be more feminine, twinky, and submissive. No room for not being masculine ENOUGH, as is the general dominant desirability factor in the endless swipes of hook-up app profiles, over which my thumb has all but burned itself off. Masc4MaskedToxicMasculinity, bro. No room for not being confident in yourself, even though you were picked apart for all those things on dating websites, until my outward physical appearance started to try and fit into these "desirable" niches and archetypes. There's plenty of room for Asians, apparently. Until they find out I (literally) don't fit in their fetishistic image of small, meek, petite Asian. I also get the occasional gem of "Man, I'm usually not into Asians, but..." or "Man, you're exotic looking." Big fucking yikes, bro. Yes, I am probably looking for gratification in all the wrong places. But even though I am gradually becoming more accepting of the parts of me that I previously hated, tried to hide, or distance myself from because I was made to believe they were ugly, the past emotional pangs still scratch at me, and I find myself going back to square one when I default to re-opening that dating app when I get that carnal urge, to try and feel better about myself. But thanks for sending me a wink, I guess. I am "other" in a society dominated by heteronormative romantic prospects. Soulmates, getting married, having kids, having one true love, love at first sight, true love's kiss. From a very young age, all of this is pushed onto us as something we had to strive for. An ultimate goal that we are meant to pursue, otherwise we are viewed as crazy, as spinsters, as eccentric and lonely old crones, as if any of these things were the most horrible things in the world to be viewed as. As a child, I had little playground crushes here and there. And as I got a little older, when I was faced with the possibility (turned reality) of being gay, I had crushes on boys, too. But I also had to push that away from my mind, because gay was that taboo thing no one ever talked about, or else it would be either vilified or mocked. But all these crushes were just fluffy, meaningless, outward attractions. I never felt any sort of romantic attraction. And as I got older, the idea of romance was a concept that never clicked with me. I've had exactly two boyfriends in the past, which, at the time, I considered "love." But was it really? Or was it because I was in the standardized view of a two-person mutual relationship with this person, that I instantly equated it as "love." I've never been able to fully make the connection of what exactly "romance" is. I take a very long time to open up to people. But when I do trust somebody enough, I tell them everything about me, the secrets, the ins, the outs, the whispers and screams of my heart, my dreams, my hopes, my despairs. But is that romance? Maybe it can be, but it wasn't for me. Because my closest friends and family are also people I've told all those private things to. Is it love? Sure. A platonic love. But I don't equate it to being romantically attracted to my friends or family. Is romance hand-holding and kissing? I've gone on dates and "seen" guys in the past, where we've kissed and held hands, even had sex. But did I consider any of it romance? Not in the slightest. Is romance sweet, thoughtful gestures? I do my best to show my friends and family I care with gestures whenever I am able, or sometimes, simply listening or offering words. But again, does that mean I am romantically attracted or linked to them? No. And so for a while, I thought I was some sociopath that simply was not capable of romantic love. Until I read about the spectrum of aromanticism. People who feel intense platonic love, and value these many important platonic relationships in their lives equally, but have never related to this idea of finding one specific fulfilling "love" above all others (the romantic kind) as something different than the other platonic relationships they have in their lives. I've never subscribed to the notion of ONE soulmate, because anybody that has made a profound impact in my life with whom I've shared a meaningful and long-lasting connection, and who fully understand me and accept me as I do them, I consider them a soulmate. I have many I consider "soulmates." And honestly, I'm tired of being told I "just haven't found the right one yet," when I have plenty of the "right ones" in my life right now. But thanks for suggesting that rom-com to me, I guess. I have lived my entire life in constant dissonance (which might explain why I like abstract 20th century composers.) Not necessarily because I WANTED to live in dissonance, but simply because any time I was simply trying to BE, there was pushback, or criticism, or questioning, which in turn, made me push back, criticize, and question myself. I have lived my life as perpetually "other," but for a time, believed it was a terrible thing to be anything "other" than what everybody else was doing or being. But I have lived through enough dissonance to realize that living against the grain is essentially what has gotten me this far in life. And although it was a difficult and uneven road to self-acceptance (and I still occasionally struggle with lingering pangs of insecurity to this day), this road is mine and mine alone. And without me on it, there would be no other.