#tone tags

[a-sip-of-milo]

You're allowed to not like tone tags. You're allowed to feel as though they're infantilising to you. You're allowed to ask that people don't use them when talking to you directly. You're even allowed to say that you don't agree with the concept of them.

What you cannot do is claim that they're not helpful to anyone and talk on behalf of all of us when expressing your feelings on the matter.

Tone tags have saved me from countless arguments. They've provided me with the opportunity to make jokes and participate in banter that I otherwise wouldn't be able to be a part of because of my inability to recognise tone. It's allowed others to joke and banter with me because they know it's not going to cause me any distress.

They have been an absolute life changer. Don't try to make people feel guilty for needing them because you don't personally like them.

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[gay-otlc]

When people say they struggle with keeping track of all the tone tags (the ones like /j or /gen), everyone who disregards that by responding "it's just memorizing some abbreviations/acronyms, it's not that hard, stop complaining" is ableist and a fucking hypocrite. If you're going to advocate for accessibility, advocate for accessibility for all of us.

You can't claim to be an ally to neurodivergent and disabled people and then shit on us for our symptoms. If you actually care about helping us, why aren't you listening when we say we struggle with something? It's never okay to tell disabled people they should be able to do something they can't, that it's not that hard, but it's especially not okay if you do so while pretending to support disabled people.

Also, in addition to the "it's not that hard" statement being ableist, it's utter bullshit. There are so many tone tags to keep track of and memorize. I did a quick google search and one of my top results had ninety one tone tags. That's a lot. That's probably a lot even for a neurotypical person, and I'm not a neurotypical person. I struggle to remember a lot of basic, necessary tasks, so I really can't memorize ninety one tone tags.

Especially when some of them are incredibly ambiguous- only one letter? Acronyms or abbreviations at least give you some clues, one letter tone tags are so incredibly confusing. Like, what does /t mean? There are a lot of words that start with T! (This is a rhetorical question. I know /t means "teasing," but I only know the answer because figuring that out was a memorably frustrating experience.)

And /t is just one example of a tone tag I learned because I kept seeing it in conversation and not understanding and being really confused and frustrated. I can't tell you the number of times I've been messaging someone on discord, and they say something with a tone tag I don't recognize, and I just open a new tab to google the meaning, which is where I find lists like the one above. I usually rely on google instead of asking the person what they meant, because I feel stupid and embarrassed for not knowing this code that everyone else seemingly gets.

Which is exactly how it feels when I don't understand someone's tone in real life! Confused and frustrated and ashamed. And tone tags were supposed to help neurodivergent and disabled people not feel that way, so I don't know how we reached a point where they cause those feelings in many of us.

I can't deny that tone tags are a useful accessibility tool for some. If you find them helpful, it's genuinely good that you have that resource. But they're not accessible for all of us. It's incorrect to act like tone tags are a perfect way to communicate, and it's ableist to disregard our struggles with them and tell us to just try harder.

Either listen to those of us who say they have trouble understanding tone tags, or stop pretending you actually give a shit about accessibility.

[agrebel18]

HERE'S A RANDOM GUIDE TO SOME (NOT ALL) TONE INDICATORS IF YOU'RE CONFUSED ABOUT THEM

/j is joking or joke

/hj is half joking or half joke

/srs is serious

/s and /sar is sarcasm

/gen is genuine

/lh is light-hearted

/nm is not mad

/nbh is nobody here

/pos is positive

/neg is negative

there's more but i don't remember them all lmao, feel free to add so we can help each other out!

[jasper-is-autistic-old-blog]

i would like other autistic people to weigh in on this if you have an opinion.

i find tone tags really inaccessible sometimes. they're hard for me to understand because i have a hard time with acronyms and with my memory.

i can remember a few like /j means joke and /s means sarcasm, and a couple others, but most of them just make the sentence even harder to understand. i would much rather see someone put the whole word in. like:

"im going to go to the zoo and steal a penguin! /joking"

or something. or put clarification in parenthesis if you think your sentence could be misunderstood.

on the other hand, the ones i do understand are definitely helpful. i just think having the full word written out as a tone indicator is more helpful. to me anyway.

let me know if y'all also have issues with this.

im mostly talking to other autistic people, but anyone else can feel free to share your experience as well!

[thateclecticbitch]

I love how closed captions on movies now say stuff like (sarcastically) and (sighs sadly) and (whispering) and (chuckles) and (giggles) llike thank you so much for taking the time to clarify the emotion and way something was said so that Deaf and HOH and Autistic people have an easier time enjoying the movie :)

[meowtismz]

Kiki need be one say it apparently.

TONE. TAGS. NOT. HELPFUL

Sorry be aggressive but see time and time again those NOT LISTEN!!! Vlaim be ND advocate activist.... but is NOT LISTEN. Tone tags be very VERY confusibg for so many of us MSN and HSN autistics. And to those have memory issues :[ is so hard memorizing all of tone tags. Not just hard but impossible so confusing and some imply literally NOTHING.

LIKE /HJ HOW USE THAT???? half joke??? So is not serious but also not joke???? :/

Yeah uhm, do better and just type [joke] or sum

[strange-nd-creature]

Tone tags

[tontoemojis]

tone tag wordmojis ?!!

-canine 🐾 anon

tone tags wordmojis !!!!

[witikli]

oh my god i am fucking begging you people to understand that not all autistic people can use tonetags. i cant use tonetags. i wont use them. they are not accommodating for me, they make everything worse and more confusing. if someone asks me to clarify my tone, i can do that. i CANNOT use tonetags. when people use tonetags while talking directly to me its fucking awful. it stresses me out and its confusing and its frustrating and it makes it so so so much harder for me as an autistic person to interact with people online. if tonetags help u, thats great and awesome and i love that for u. but u cannot force an accommodation on disabled people who do not want or need that accommodation. it does not help me, it HINDERS me and my ability to communicate. i have genuinely seen people say that its morally wrong and inherently bigoted for an autistic person to refuse to use tonetags. thats fucking bullshit and you need to get over yourselves.

[a-sip-of-milo]

[ndcultureis]

"but if i use tone tags, then the joke isn't as funny anymore"

and spending ten minutes having to explain each joke you make to me doesn't? 😭

[amorisastrum]

How to use tone tags! :D

Because @flaming-green asked and also neurodivergence !!

Long post woah

Commonly used tone tags:

/j = joke

/hj = half joke

/ly or /lyr = lyrics

/pos = positive

/neg = negative

/lh = light hearted

/nm = not mad

/s or /sarc = sarcastic

/nbh = no body here (this is used alongside a rant/vent that has not named a specific person- people may think you are talking about them and spiral)

/genq = genuine question

/nf = not forced

/plat = platonic

/r = romantic

/srs = serious

/t = teasing

Why use tone tags?:

Tone can be a very difficult thing to pick up, especially through text. Use of punctuation and capital letters and certain word choices can make a sentence seem completely different. For example, if I received a text saying "Come see me right now." I would instantly think I was in trouble and would panic. However, if I received that same message with a "/nm" I would feel much better about the situation. People use punctuation in different ways as well! I personally use exclamation marks to show how excited I am !! While for others, a multitude of exclamation marks could indicate sarcasm. Same with the use of emojis. I personally use some emojis to indicate sarcasm, but I know people who use those same emojis to indicate... Well, what the emoji is showing. So, to use a tone tag avoids any sort of miscommunication.

When to use tone tags?:

Deciding when to use tone tags can be difficult. I personally use tone tags when I reread a message and realise it is ambiguous in tone, or when I reread it, it sounds more aggressive or rude than I intended it to be.

If somebody asks you what you mean by a message, this is probably a sign that you need a tone tag of sorts. Not all people are going to interpret things the way you intend them to be, so tone tags as a whole are helpful to avoid miscommunication. Sometimes the context of the message being sent can change someone's perception so tone tags are not always needed e.g. "omg I love you so much! You're so awesome!" This may be seen as genuine, while "omg you're so awesome." Can be seen as sarcastic. It depends on how that person's brain works.

If you are talking directly with one person, or a small group of people, and you know their typing habits (such as using emojis for sarcasm or use of punctuation) then tone tags may be needed less! But if you are talking to a group of people, such as on Tumblr, it may be easier to use tone tags as more people will see what you've said and... Well people may not understand what you meant!

Some words may have different connotations through different contexts, such as the word "silly". But sometimes people may not understand that context. I typically use Silly in a positive way, but at one point I referred to a character I didn't like as a "silly man" with my friend who had no clue who this character was. To them, this meant I liked this character, which left them confused when I started talking about them in a bad way. So, I started adding "/neg" anytime I meant silly in a negative way to avoid confusion.

Other tone tag things:

Try and avoid piling of tone tags at the end of a message/post as this can be confusing. Id say try to use no more than 2, 3 at a maximum.

If you're cutting into the middle of a message with a tone tag, you can use brackets, but you don't have to! Do what makes you comfortable.

Use punctuation where you see fit.

You don't have to use tone tags for every message you send/everything you post! Use them when YOU think the tone could be ambiguous or if someone has directly asked you what you mean.

You don't have to know every tone tag ever. I've been using tone tags for a good 2 maybe 3 years now and I mainly use /nm, /j, /srs, /sarc and /pos.

I also use /silly, which I'm not sure is an actual tone tag. I use this if something I say seems passive aggressive or if I am in fact just being silly.

I hope this has helped! Tone tags are something that help me communicate with people and make me more comfortable! And I hope they can make it easier for you to communicate as well :]

Also sorry if this makes little sense it is 2am. Feel free to add any more information in reblogs or replies!!

[evilhenchpersonforhire]

Person eviler than me:

Whoever decided to demonize tone tags as cringe and make fun of people who actually need and use them.

[thesleepiicatsys]

A tonetag masterlist !

What are tonetags, How do I use them?

Tonetags are usually a sign off on a message to show which tone one has used! This helps people who cannot tell tone over text!

Why are people so persistent on using them?

It helps a lot of people! If they misunderstand something it could upset them! Be mindful!

What are some common Tonetags, What do they mean?

/g, /gq = genuine, genuine question

/j = Joking

/hj = Half joking

/ij = Inside joke

/cj = coping joke (commonly used after trauma jokes)

/lhj = Light hearted joke

/srs = Serious

/s, /sarc, /sar = Sarcastic/sarcasm

/hsrs = Half serious

/nsrs = not serious

/lh = Lighthearted

/l, /ly, /lyr = lyrics

/nay = not at you (when something isn't directed to you)

/ay = at you (when something it directed towards you)

/nbh = nobody here (commonly used after a vent towards someone to show it is not directed towards them, or to point out nobody in the group or place)

/dir = directed

/ndir = not directed

/safe = safe to click or open, (links or spoiled things)

/cur = Curious

/np = not pushing

/nf = not forced

/nfa = not forced answer

/nfta = not forced to answer

/rh, /rt = rhetorical question

/rt = retweet or rhetorical question

/pa = passive aggressive

/npa = not passive aggressive

/f, /fake = fake

/q, /quote = quote

/ref = reference

/ncm = not comparing, not competing

/c = copypasta, or caps lock

/li = literally

/hy, /hyp = hyperbole

/pc, /pos = Positive connotation

/nc, /neg = negative connotation

/neu = neutral connotation

/opn = opinion

/sugg = suggestion

/gs = genuine suggestion

/nbr = not being rude

/ot = off topic

[xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx]

"this user appreciates it when people use tone indicators" userbox made by me!!

feel free to use but keep my username visible ty!!! :3