#too-rye-ay

[senorboombastic]

Live Review: Dexys at the Bridgewater Hall in Manchester 08 September 2023

Words: Andy Hughes Do you ever find yourself completely infatuated by a record, that piece of art becoming your everything for days, weeks, months, years? Five or six years ago, I found myself falling head over heels for ‘Too-Rye-Ay‘, obsessed and returning again and again to the near-perfect second studio album by the great Dexys Midnight Runners. Sure I’d heard the hits and was fond of the…

[steelycunt]

guys which looks better url dexycunt or url dexyscunt if you were looking to name your blog after lame eighties band dexys midnight runners

[autisticlegolas]

“white people don’t have rhythm”

okay alright explain this to me then:

[duranduratulsa]

Dexys Midnight Runners, Kevin Rowland - Come On Eileen (1982 Version)

80's Fest Song 🎵 of the day: Come On Eileen by Dexys and Dexys Midnight Runners (1982) from Too-Rye-Aye #dexysmidnightrunners #comeoneileen #tooryeaye #80s #80sfest #durandurantulsas5thannual80sfest

[kleftiko]

❦ A PIRATES REWARD

“you expected to fuck some guy in the bathroom at the halloween party, not get absolutely railed by someone you don’t even know”

cw: age gap, mask kink(?), choking, cream pie, unprotected sex, semi-public sex

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST

When you're young and you finally get the taste of freedom that comes with showing your ID (the real one) to the bouncer, and instead of a stare down, you get a pleasant "enjoy your night", you tend to go overboard.

Dressed too skimpy for the weather, with the promise that alcohol will help you warm up, you and your girlfriends set your goals for the night. Get someone to buy you drinks, make it to the DJ booth, or hook up in the bathroom with someone you'll never see again.

A jaegerbomb or two, vodka soda, and whatever drink the guy next to you swore was worth it—you think it's a pornstar—and you were blinking with a drowsy smile on your painted lips as you looked around for someone of interest. Halloween was the perfect excuse to let loose and indulge in some wild, anonymous fun. As the night progressed, the music got louder and the crowd became more vibrant, making it the perfect hunting ground. With each drink, you felt a heat in your cheeks and between your legs that you wanted to indulge in.

"And what are you supposed to be?" You looked up at the man beside you.

From across the room, you noticed him in a black compression shirt, one that defined his obviously muscular arms and toned chest. He was tall, even from afar, dark hair that you could see pulled back into a bun, and a mask from a movie your tipsy mind barely recognized covering his face. He was mildly intriguing, and you admired him for a bit, but was only when he lifted it slightly to drink, showing off his sharp jawline and rough stubble, that you beelined for him.

You couldn't see his eyes looking down at you, but his deep, rumbling voice made you shiver. "A guy in a mask."

"Wow," you deadpanned with obvious sarcasm. "so creative."

He turned his head to you and leaned down a bit, and he asked, "Pirate?"

"Aye." You giggled with a curtsy, then nodded your chin at his drink. "What's that?"

"Rye and ginger," he held it out to you. "Want?"

You purposely brushed over the rings on his fingers as you took the drink. "You think I'd like it?"

"It’s a little hard, but sweet."

So you took a sip, eyes locked on his mask as you licked your lips to clean them off.

"I like the harder stuff," you said, and handed it back to him.

He lifted his mask to take a sip, unbothered by the lipstick smudge you left on the rim, then smiled slightly.

You decided that this was the guy. There's something about his nonchalant demeanour and the way he effortlessly hooked you in that had you wanting him in a less than innocent way. The fact that you didn't even know what he looked like only added to the excitement of wanting those gorgeous fingers inside you.

"Wanna take this somewhere else?" You cut him off from whatever he was saying, deciding you've done enough flirting.

"Well, aren't you an eager thing?" He chuckled a bit and took another sip of his drink.

You gulped, shamelessly checking him out as you started to feel the pulse of anticipation. When he finished off his rye and ginger you grabbed his wrist and led him through the crowd. Down the hall, there were a couple people loitering, probably trying to escape the loud music to have a more intimate conversation. The bathroom was even more deserted, and you thanked the fact that drunk people never wanted to leave the fun.

You immediately pushed him against the wall, not waiting for the door to close beside you, and your fingers clawed to his mask eagerly before his large hand wrapped around your throat to still you.

"Ah, ah, ah," he reprimanded you. "Didn't anyone teach you manners?"

You grinned, your lips instead going to his neck, where you playfully bit his skin. He let out a low growl, a mixture of pleasure and warning. His grip on your throat tightened slightly, this time not in caution, but as a reward.

"That's it, baby." He praised, and hooked his free thumb under the mask, pulling it off to reveal the most attractive man you've ever seen. Dark, tired eyes that looked at you with nothing but lust. He was obviously older than you, and the realization made you feel even more vigour at the thought of the pleasure he could give you that you never seemed to get from guys your age. His lips curled into a malicious smile, revealing a set of perfectly white teeth. The intensity in his gaze made your heart race, as if you were the only person in the world that mattered to him in that moment.

You audibly whimpered, the heat between your legs intensifying as you grabbed the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss. Distantly, there was a soft donk as he threw his mask to the ground and grabbed you, switching places to pin you to the wall instead. The rush of adrenaline coursed through your veins, making you want to act out, but the firm grip he had on your throat had you compliant and submissive—only able to do what he wants. You had never been more happy to fall under the spell of some man, and you found yourself eager to accept anything he gave you. As the world around you faded into oblivion, all that remained was the intoxicating connection between your bodies and an insatiable desire.

Your leg hooked over his hip as you grinded into him, and he easily lifted you up, pressing his hard cock to your needy pussy through your clothes.

The noises of pleasure you made simply from making out and dry humping had him almost laughing.

"Such a cute little pirate." He growled and bit your ear. The hand around your neck moved to shove aside the fabric at your crotch and push two fingers inside you. "Already wet for me."

You squealed at the stretch, head hitting the tiled wall behind you as you threw it back.

"F-fuck." You whined and bucked your hips into him, too lost in the simple way he was giving you pleasure to care about how desperate you were being.

His skilled fingers continued to move inside you, hitting all the right spots and driving you wild. Even if it had just begun, no hookup had ever had you crumbling so easily, or had reduced you to a begging mess so skillfully. The intensity of the pleasure was overwhelming, causing your body to tremble uncontrollably as you surrendered completely to his touch, not bothering to hold back your cries.

Your legs started to shake, the pants you spilled out became high-pitched wanton sounds as you were about to cum; tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as your head knocked against the wall from you bucking into him. But before he could send you over into ecstasy, he pulled his fingers out, leaving you high, dry, and angry.

"What the fuc—!" You tried to scream, but he shoved his thick fingers down your throat. You choked instead as he laughed at you.

"Don't be a brat." He said. "Lick them clean, and I'll give you what you want."

You gagged as his fingers pressed against the back of your throat, feeling a mix of humiliation and arousal. Reluctantly, you obeyed his command, tasting your own essence on his fingers as you sniffled. The thought of finally getting what you desired pushed you to comply, hoping that this humiliating act would lead to the release you craved.

As he pulled his fingers out with a pop, you were rewarded with the sight of his hand undoing his pants and releasing his thick cock. The sight of his harsh pink tip dripping with precum made your heart race, fueling your craving for him even more and making you wiggle impatiently as he lined up with your cunt. With a deep breath, you braced yourself for the pleasure that awaited, ready to surrender completely to his dominance.

He didn't go slow. He thrusted into you with a force that took your breath away, causing a mixture of pleasure and pain to surge through your body.

The hand that gripped the fat of your thigh to hold you up tightened almost unbearably as he hissed.

"Fuck, you're so tight, little pirate." He said, and you whimpered a bit.

There was no more time to waste as he pulled out and thrust into you again.

You felt each unbearable inch of his cock bullying its way into your gummy walls and stretching you out passed your limits. No man had ever had you gasping from simply fucking you, but each powerful movement sent waves of ecstasy coursing through your body. As he continued to pound into you relentlessly, you surrendered yourself completely to the overwhelming sensations, losing all sense of control.

Your noises started to get even louder and more shameless, and you couldn't imagine anyone outside the bathroom wouldn't be able to tell what was going on, especially coupled with the slapping sounds of his cock in your dripping pussy over and over.

His hand came up to your neck again, holding you back against the wall and cutting your airflow as he pumped into you. Your moans became choked gargles, and the lack of oxygen had you squeezing impossibly tighter around him, your own hand gripping his wrist to stabilize yourself as your eyes rolled back and your tongue fell out.

"You just go dumb, baby?" You vaguely heard his condescending voice. "Such a good girl."

The intensity of the moment heightened as he continued to fuck you, his words fueling your desire for him to have his way with you. Each thrust and restriction of breath only deepened your submissive state, pushing you further into a state of blissful surrender that you never wanted to give up. As his grip tightened and his pace quickened, you could feel yourself on the edge of cumming like you never had before, ready to be consumed by the ecstasy he pumped you with.

"Such a good girl." He repeated. "Maybe I should cum in your cunt as a reward for being so good."

The sound of his words sent shivers down your spine, intensifying the pleasure coursing through your body. You eagerly nodded, unable to form any coherent words as you yearned for him to fulfill his promise. You wanted everything he could possibly give you, in that moment, you wanted him to become yours. You wanted him to give you this pleasure over and over again. With each powerful thrust, you could feel the knot tightening, knowing that this release would be better than any one you've ever experienced.

As he continued to ravish you, you came without warning. Head spilling all thoughts from your mind besides the inexplicably pleasure you were feeling and this unknown man that has made you feel something you’ve never felt before. Without a doubt, this would be ingrained in your mind forever, but if the thought of that wasn't enough, the feeling of his hot cum spilling into a second later you would be. It overflowed from your cunt, staining your thighs with hot cum as you held him close.

The smell of sex and the wetness dripping down your hot legs brought you back to reality, and you just barely registered him setting you down onto the ground. Your wobbly legs couldn't hold you as you fell against his sturdy chest, still not in the right stated of mind as you panted and almost drooled against him. The man chuckled as he moved the fabric of your costume back to cover your pussy and keep all of his cum inside you. You whined and twitched when he patted your clit.

Then he gently placed you on the ground, and you were too fucked up to speak up and say that you wanted him to stay and at least hold you until your mind returned. The most you could do was weakly tug on his pants and whine, causing him to bend down and place a chest kiss to your forehead. As he walked away, a mix of emotions flooded your mind: a longing for his presence, a sense of vulnerability, and a lingering satisfaction from everything he gave you.

[ryethebrokengae]

Okay, but imagine 141 x Delirious and sick!reader(me rn):

Day 1:

# They could tell you weren't feeling tip top yourself, with the way you were a bit groggier and took longer to get across base for meetings.

# They, much like you, originally thought you were just burnt out from pushing yourself too hard.

# Because of that you decided to take a few days off from training. Asking Price about it. Who obviously approved, but was iffy about it.

Day 2:

# This was when they could really tell something was off.

# You spent most of the day napping or eating.

# And when you were awake you were sniffling and grouchy.

# One time when you were getting yourself a snack you saw a brand spanking new box of cold medicine. And silently thanked whoever had gotten it for you.

Day 3:

# This was when shit started getting weird. You had woken up feeling grosser than you had felt yesterday but shrugged it off.

# The morning, per usual, was spent napping.

# And when you went to lunch with everyone else you noticed that you were a bit more hyper than usual.

# Which was strange seeing as you were definitely still sick. You shrug it off, still feeling gross.

# When you're around the boys you start saying shit that normally you wouldn't even think of. And almost start crying from something you said cause of how funny it was to you.

# The boys just looked at each other confused and worried.

# When you suddenly pause and sit up. "I think I'm delirious." It all clicks.

# Simon nods to you slowly like 'yeah. We can tell, love.'

# I imagine after awhile of you running around base. -Or let me correct myself. Running *away* from the boys on base.- They catch you, of course, and nearly strap you to your bed and force feed you medicine.

# You're already a little out there when you're not delirious, and they do *not* wanna find out what kinda shit you pull when you are.

A/N: Anyway. I'm pretty sure this is legible and makes sense. It's not great but that's what you get when sick!rye gets to writing. God. I need to get off this app.(will I? No.)

Lil added scene based off me rn:

# They find you watching tik toks at 3AM while sitting on the floor in the base kitchen. Eating pancakes and drinking tea.

# Price is *pissed*

# I just imagine him[We all know it's Ghost who does the actual dragging. Our peepaw can't risk breaking his back keepin' your delirious ass from pulling some stupid shit] **literally** dragging you back to your room. And you just saying, "Nooo, c'mon Pricee. Look! The tea's even the kind for colds! Ay! At least lemme bring my pancakes!"

[seenoversundown]

For Death Or Glory : Chapter Twelve

Jake x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: 18+ Smut !!! (Oral / Very suggestive language) mild anxiety, fluff, alcohol/drinking (it’s a bar, we know this) VERY brief themes with grief, silly banter, flirting, and Come On Eileen mentions.

Word Count: 4.1k

Summary: Charlotte thinks herself into a little spiral, landing her at the bar. Josh must have made her drink strong tonight, because she definitely made a choice!

Author's Note: Oh babies, I have been vibrating with excitement to post this chapter. We’ve made it through the dry-spell!! 🫡🫦 have fun!!

Talk (Unreleased) - Harry Styles "Don't ask me to talk about, I don't wanna talk at all."

“Maybe she was right. Maybe they were both right. I should just live a little,” I mutter to myself as I pace the house. You deserve to be happy; just let it happen. 

Daydreaming about the precious long-haired boy who has my stomach in knots. The way I still can’t believe we kissed more than once. It was hard to deny how sweet he was. Always made sure I didn’t walk to my car alone at night. Asking me to text him when I make it home. Checking that it’s okay that he kissed me, even though I went for him first. 

I’ve never met someone who had me so smitten so quickly. It would be a lie to say I’m not a little nervous, but I’m trying to do right by Cassie. She told me to stop thinking myself out of happiness and so .. I’m trying not to think too hard. 

I wish I needed to be there today. 

Mindlessly tidying up to try and keep myself distracted, I look through the handful of books sitting on the coffee table. For transparency’s sake, they are all romances. Maybe it’s because I just don’t have anything non-fiction on my to-be-read list or the fact that I feel like I’ve seemingly met a man written by a woman; the world will never know. 

Flipping one of them over to read the summary on the back, in italics, reads ‘friends with benefits.’ It stops me in my tracks, metaphorically. ..That’s a bad idea.. Right? I shake my head, trying to rid the idea entirely. Tossing it back on the coffee table and staring at it like it just insulted me personally. 

I pick up my phone, seeing the time, 4:03 pm, with an unread message from him.

Jacob: someone keeps queuing up the same song on the jukebox and I cant stop laughing

Jacob: idk how many times you can listen to Come On Eileen before you lose your mind but I have to be close to it 

I laugh at the idea of him losing it while behind the bar, especially with how calm his demeanor is. I can’t picture him being distraught. What if I just went and got a drink? That wouldn’t be weird, right?  

Me: Too many ‘too loo rye ay’s for you huh?

I mean, we are basically friends at this point and we’ve made out twice.. I don’t think me going to the bar for a drink would be .. wrong?  Staring at my leggings and fuzzy socks, I get up and quickly walk into my bedroom. I stare at myself in the full-length mirror; my hair is still fairly curled from last night. 

I pull out my olive cigarette pants, toss them onto my bed, and start digging through my closet. Finding an off-white sweater hiding in the back, I think I can make this cute. Changing into those and standing in front of the mirror, I tuck the bottom of the sweater up into the band on my bra, cropping it slightly. 

“That feels better, I think,” I mumbled to myself. I slide my belt through the loops, pulling things together even more. Adjusting my necklace to sit on top of the sweater, moving the clasp back to it’s rightful place. 

I grab my phone from the bed, take a picture in the mirror, pulling up the group chat; 

The Laid-Ease 🤩

Me: [sends photo] is this cute? 

Quinn: YES YES YES

Willa: very!!

Mel: Oooooo! Yes 😍

I smile at their responses, feeling a little more confident in my impulse decision. I sit in front of my mirror with all my makeup next to me. I take my time, making sure everything looks how I want it. I typically stick with natural-looking makeup because I’ve always liked my freckles and don’t want to hide them. The least I can do is feel cute if I’m going to go sit at the bar, you know, just in case.  

Sufficiently killing enough time so that I didn’t get to the bar too early. Finding a parking spot proved to be a little more difficult tonight. But being further away, I was able to sit here for a minute before walking over. 

Is this a dumb idea? No Char- you need to just go inside and get a drink. Josh is probably bartending anyway, so he’ll probably just talk to you. 

Forcing myself out of the car, I slowly walk over to the bar, taking deeper breaths as I do, trying not to let anxiety win. I'm doing this for you, Cass.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Luckily for me, I found a seat at the bar, and Josh is an angel. Bringing me a drink quickly and chatting with me for a few minutes before checking in on other customers. 

I slide my book from my bag, making myself comfortable as I sip on my drink for a while. My thoughts get louder as the alcohol slowly hits me. Rereading the same page a few times before actually processing it. 

You know he’s here–just go say hi. Shaking my head as I swallow the last sip of my drink. It’s very unlike me to let anything like this even remotely happen. 

You’ve never caved in a work situation, it’s honestly shocking. Unprofessional if you ask me. Okay but to be fair– none of the people I've had to work with look like him. You really can’t blame me for having eyes. 

Flipping the page of my book, I try to refocus. I wonder what he’s wearing today. Does he have his button up that he hardly buttons on? Jesus, what did Josh put in this drink? 

Forcing myself to read a few more pages before moving my bookmark into its new home. 

“Is Jacob in his office?” I ask Josh as he’s lingering close to where I’m sitting.

He nods quickly, “Where else would he be?” His eyebrows raise as he looks over at me, “I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.”

I slide out of my barstool, adjusting my pants quickly. His office isn’t far down the hall; as I round the corner into the door frame, I take him in for a second. He’s so pretty. 

I gently knock to get his attention, watching his eyes light up as he sees me makes my stomach turn. Just go for it.

His sweet voice lingers in the room as he says, “I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

I swallow my nerves and whisper, “I know.” Stepping further into the small space, pushing the door shut behind me. Everything feels like slow motion again.

Turning to him, I’m barely taller than him while he’s sitting; I grab the sides of his face as I lean in. The feeling of his lips against mine makes my heart beat harder. I have kissed my fair share of men in my life, but none compare to him. The way his lips are so soft and how he goes for my bottom lip makes me wonder if he would ever sink his teeth into it. 

“Well, it’s nice to see you too,” he whispers through a small giggle, which makes me laugh with him. His hands gently rest on my waist. The way he looks at me, this man is going to be the death of me. 

I lean back in; this time, I can’t stop how desperate I feel. My hands find the back of his neck; my fingertips pressed into him like I’m afraid he’s going to run away. His grip on me tightens, pulling me closer. My legs bump into his knees; well, there’s only one way to solve this. 

Before I have time to think, I’m straddling his lap, his arms wrapped around me, my hands sliding up into his hair. Oh my god. My breath hitches as he lightly dances his tongue against my lip, and who would I be to deny him that? Goosebumps flood my body as he deepens the kiss, his grip on my shirt getting tighter, pulling me against him harder. I let my teeth grab his bottom lip, barely enough pressure to gently pull it back, when the sweetest little moan escapes him. 

The sound alone was enough to get a girl wet, but then he smiled. And dear god– isn’t his smile gorgeous? A little pink staining his cheeks, we quietly laughed together as I tucked my face into his neck. I breathed him in for a moment, feeling his hands slide up and down my sides. I felt him shift a bit before he pressed a kiss into the base of my neck, sending chills through my body.

He continues to litter slow kisses up my neck and under my jaw as I sit back up. He takes his time, barely lifting up when he moves so I can feel his breath as he inches his way up. Nobody had ever taken the time he had with me; it felt like he was savoring every kiss. 

My hands timidly moved from his neck down to his chest. If we weren’t here, I would be pulling this shirt off of him. Thankfully, his button-up shirts didn’t leave much to the imagination; I gently tugged on one side, revealing his collarbone that I let my fingertips graze. 

He hums against my skin before moving to press a kiss just under my ear. 

“Mmm,” he rasps quietly, “I could stay here all night.” His low voice sends shivers down my spine and makes my heart throb. I need him.

I stand up, grabbing his hands from my waist. 

“Stand up for me?” I ask quietly, and he doesn’t hesitate to follow through. He leans against his desk as I lean into him. It’s my turn to have some fun. 

I kiss down his jawline as my hands find his hips. Tracing along the top of his belt, I move my lips to his neck; his skin is so warm. Deciding to take my chance, I slide his belt over, starting to undo it. 

“Charlotte,” he whispers, “what are you doing?” 

I look up at him, stilling my hands, to ask, “Is this okay?” 

His eyes meet mine, looking back and forth for a moment like he’s trying to make sense of what I’m doing. But honestly, I’m also trying to make sense of it. 

“Of course, it’s okay. I just—“ he stumbles over his words before I cut him off with a kiss. 

I mumble against his lips, “Let’s not talk about it right now.” 

Quickly undoing his belt and popping the button on his jeans, my mouth is already watering. I drop down to my knees as I’m unzipping him, seeing his cock twitch as I do. He leans over me, flipping the lock on the office door. 

I can’t help but press kisses into his stomach just above his boxers, watching the goosebumps flood his skin. Gently tugging the waistband down, letting him free. Holy shit. My hand immediately ran down his length as I glanced up at him.

“All for me, baby?” Slips out, and he just moans quietly in response. What is he doing to me? His face reddening at the pet name, and my heart is pounding at the soft sounds coming from him. Letting my tongue run up to the tip before sliding him into my mouth. I can barely see him gripping his desk, the veins in his hands popping out harder, which only sends another shock through my body. 

Slowly taking more and more, I want to savor the moment. I’ve never wanted to be in this position more in my life. His little whimpers as I move closer to the base, making me throb. I pull my head back, stroking him for a second as I tease him more. 

“Don’t be shy, I wanna hear you,” I tell him. A strained moan falls from his lips. Before going back in for more, I tuck some loose hair behind my ears. Feeling his hands carefully gather all my hair as he wraps it around his fist, he watches me as I move my head quicker. The moans falling from his lips get louder as I pick up speed. 

Knowing he must be getting close, I say the one thing I know will get him going. 

“Come on, Captain.” 

His head drops back as his hand tightens its grip on my hair, he lets out a breathy, “Please.” 

“Let me have it,” I whisper, plunging my head down his length, feeling his little trail of hair barely touch my nose. I bob my head a few times before using my hand to help get him there, feeling his muscles tense before he finally spits out any sort of warning.

“Charlotte- fuck,” is all he can get out before his orgasm hits him. Hearing him moan my name makes my heart flutter. He accidentally tugs harder on my hair, not that I mind. But lettting go to brush the little hairs away from my face as I pull back and tuck him back into his boxers. 

I sat back on my feet, just admiring him in this state. His face was a little flushed, eyes still closed as a little smile crept onto his face. Finally looking down at me, he reached his hands out for me to take. Pulling me close to him as he kisses me, but I move my face back out of shock. 

“But I just-“ I start; most men I have been with would never kiss me after I did that for them.

“Who cares?” He giggles, pecking my lips a few more times. “Don’t even mind the taste since it’s on your lips.” 

“Oh,” is all I can muster. I was so severely unprepared for how secure he actually was in himself. Why is that so sexy? Have I really wasted that many times on guys who are just insecure? I truly didn’t think that something so simple would make him even more attractive, but here we are. 

“Should I sneak back out there?” I ask as he fixes his belt. 

“If you do, I’ll come out and keep you company,” he says, looking back up at me. He looks like he’s fighting a smile, which I can’t decide what option is cuter. I lean myself into him, pressing a few small kisses against his lips. 

“Okay, I’ll see you in a few minutes,” I whisper, wiping my thumb across his lip gently. ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Sitting back in my seat at the bar, I watch as Josh makes my drink for me. I can’t believe I did that. My mind races with what just happened, the sounds he made, the way even just the thought makes me shift in my seat. 

“Thank you,” I pipe up as Josh slides my drink over to me. He flashes me a toothy grin before hustling over to take someone’s order. I’m not even halfway through my sip when Jacob’s voice floods my ears. 

“You doin’ alright?” his English accent slips out. He sneaks behind the bar but not too far from me. 

“I’ve been waiting for you to show up,” I smirk, taking a sip of my drink. The corners of his mouth quirked. He grabbed the towel next to him before walking over to where I sat. 

“Is that so?” He asks, cocking his eyebrow up. The way he’s looking at me like I’m the only person in the room makes my body warm. I’ve never had someone make me feel like this before. The way he’s standing in front of me, propping himself up against the bar. How his toned arms are lightly flexed, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look past how nice* his hands are. 

“Maybe,” I squeak out, leaning into my hands to try and get a little closer to him. The grin plastered on my face was undeniable. Looking at him in front of me after what just happened makes my head feel dizzy, and I’ve only had one drink. 

“Well, I’m very sorry, honey,” he says, just loud enough for me to hear. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and I’ll be damned; he’s good at it. “Rude of me to leave such a pretty girl like you waiting.” He thinks I’m pretty.  

My mouth moves faster than my brain can when I respond with, “I’ll let it slide this time.” Letting my eyes wander all over him as if nobody could see me. Noticing the way he’s biting the inside of his lip, the little twitch in his hand as my eyes drop to them. The movement of his necklace when he leans forward only fills my head with horrible thoughts. The thought of them bouncing off his chest as he– 

“I’ll make it up to you,” he says, subtly biting his lip. “Promise.” The look he’s giving me makes my thighs clench together. 

“Oh, I’ll be looking forward to that,” I try to hide how nervous that makes me. I haven’t done anything with someone for a while, let alone having someone … do something for me. Usually on my own for that. 

He stares at me for another second before letting his head drop back a little. He stares at the ceiling before shaking it as he looks down. A soft little smile is on his lips. What is he thinking about that has him grinning like that? 

I cave, “What’s that face for?” 

He lets out a laugh, letting his smile grow, showing off his teeth now. His eyes rake over me again, his arms folded over his chest; he really is so cute. 

“It’s nothing,” he finally spits out. 

My eyebrows pull in, “I don’t buy that one bit.” Squinting at him as tries to do the same face back but not being able to hold it.

“I can’t say it right now,” he says, moving closer to the bar. He leans down, propping himself up with his elbows.

“Why not?” I don’t know what is in the air tonight, but I can’t stop myself from poking at him more and more. 

“It’s not the right place,” he laughs, “people could hear me.” 

“Just whisper it to me,” I excitedly spit out, “we can pretend it’s a secret.” I watch as he looks around the room, moves back, and mouths ‘hold on’ to me. 

  He pours two fresh beers from the tap, walks them over to a table, and grabs their empty glasses. He then wanders around the booths for a moment, making sure everybody is happy. I steal glances at him a few times, doing my best to not stare at him, but it’s hard. He’s a deceivingly intoxicating man; you’d never expect it because he’s so quiet at first. 

How he’s gone this long without a girlfriend is beyond me. I guess it’s also something we’ve never really talked about, so maybe he just didn’t care? I can’t imagine girls not liking him. He’s so precious; how could you not develop a crush on him? Oh– I hadn’t thought that hard about that part of whatever this situation is. Do I have a crush on him? But I don’t live here, so that could make him not want to pursue anything– I don’t live that far, maybe he wouldn’t care. My thoughts race with questions of whether I’m making a mistake or not. 

I don’t want to jump into a relationship this fast. I don’t want to waste more time, but I have to do something because I just know Cassie would punch me if I didn’t do this. Suddenly remembering the book that offended me earlier today, ‘Friends with benefits’ plays in my head. Maybe he would be okay with that..? That way I can make sure this is what I want to do. That sounds reasonable, right? I’d say we’re friends and who would say no to the benefits? He already promised me something, and I need to know what that is now.  

I’m pulled from my thoughts when I feel someone gently place their hand on my back. I look over to see him setting a few glasses on the bar. He’s so close I can feel the warmth coming off of him and smell his cologne. 

“Oh, sorry, excuse me,” he giggles quietly. Turning to leave, he stops, sliding his hand up to the base of my neck and lightly giving it a squeeze. He drops his head to whisper, “Was just thinking about how I can’t wait to hear your pretty voice moaning my name.” 

My jaw falls open as he says it; looking up at him, his face is flushed like he’s embarrassed to admit it. He gives me a slow wink before sauntering off to talk to customers, leaving me to think about that. I definitely need to know what he plans on doing to make it up to me now. 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Our nightly routine begins once more as we walk in comfortable silence to my car. 

I quietly break the silence, letting out, “The sky looks so pretty tonight.”

His head tilts up quickly to take it in while I watch him. His eyes scanned all the stars and the light from the moon, illuminating him with no cloud in sight. 

“She really is amazing, isn’t she?” he spoke so softly, looking over at me. 

“Who..?” 

“The moon,” he chokes back a little laugh. “She’s incredible.” He looks so happy as he looks back up at the sky. The chill of November made it so I could see his breath as we walked, but it also kept me closer to him in hopes of stealing some of his warmth. 

Our hands timidly brush against each other a few times until he glances down, sliding his hand into mine. I just know Cassie is somewhere screaming over how  I am with him. I just look at our hands intertwined, the way his thumb just runs over mine, and smile when he squeezes a little to make me look at him. 

“Your chariot, madame,” he says, gesturing his free hand to my car. 

“Oh, thank you, sir.” I try to play along, letting a small laugh slip partway through. We just stood there in comfortable silence for a second, still hand in hand. 

“So,” he mumbles, “I’ll see you tomorrow?” I nod, fighting the urge to just stare at his mouth. 

“Drive home safe. Text me when you make it. You know the drill at this point,” his sweet giggle lacing the latter half. 

“Of course, mhm,” I tell him, moving a little closer to him, “I hope you have a good rest of your night, Jacob.” His eyes practically twinkling in the moonlight as I gaze at him. He leans in, his plump lips pressed into mine but backs up quickly with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Back to my full name already?” his smug little tone made me laugh. My hands grab the sides of his face, pulling him back in for another kiss. 

“I didn’t think you’d want me to call you Captain in public after that,” I say against his lips; he lets out a small groan at the name. 

“I’ll let it slide this time,” he mocks me, stepping back and grabbing my hands. He pulls them up, placing little kisses across my knuckles. How is he real? He reaches past me to open my car door. 

“Now, get home before it’s too late.” 

I toss my bag into the passenger seat before sitting down and starting it. Turning to him one more time, looking up at him, I can’t stop myself from smiling. I grab his shirt and tug him towards me. His hand holding onto the doorframe, leans down, hovering over my mouth until I finally cave.

 “One more,” I mumble before closing the gap between us. He laughs into me, knowing I full well just stole his line. 

“I’ll be waiting for your text,” he says, pointing at me with his eyebrows raised as he moves back to shut my door. 

I sit there for a minute, just watching as he walks back towards the bar until he’s finally out of sight. I click on the address in my maps and set my phone in the cup holder. Looking back up at the moon, seeing how bright it is tonight. She is beautiful. 

I can’t take my eyes away from it, feeling the tears settling in, and into the quiet of my car I whisper, “I hope you’re proud of me, and god, I wish I could call you right now.” 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Thirteen

FDOG Master Post | Masterlist | Playlist

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[enqmind]

Fic!

This is what happens when you've recently read baby trapping fics and then have a conversation about what foods you can't eat around taking certain medications.

Soap/Female Reader WC: 1.4k 18+ content.

Warnings: Baby trapping, manipulation, tampering with contraceptives, tampering with food, technically poisoning, misuse of a dietary supplement. Noncon, despite containing no actual sex (because baby trapping).

Reader notes: Implied to dislike marmite, probably isn't Scottish, dislikes masks (not a covid denier. they just make her uncomfortable).

Gothmet

 Johnny has been cooking a lot lately.

 “Trying to take after your compatriot?”

 He’d laughed at that.

 “I think you’ll find I don’t hit my Boiling Point quite so fast, love.”

 You suspected he’d last five minutes in food service, since you’re not actually allowed to explode the sous chef.

 But as a home cook? Oh, he was passable.

 His latest creation was squid ink ravioli filled with an avant garde bacon and nigella seed concoction.

 It was interesting, but good was a different question.

 “Do you like it?” He asked, puppy dog enthusiasm radiating off of him in waves.

 “… I don’t know,” you confessed. “It’s certainly interesting, but I’m not sure one way or the other.”

 You half expected his face to fall, but instead he looked thoughtful as he took a considered bite.

 “Aye, I see what you mean. This’ll take some workshopping. You willing to be my taste tester?” 

 You grinned at him over your wine.

 “It would be my pleasure.”

 “And that is my top priority, after all.”

 He didn’t seem discouraged by the half hearted kick under the table, especially if his enthusiasm for ‘dessert’ was considered.

 His new culinary interest expanded to baking.

 The next day he presented you with a zebra cake with the highest contrast you’d ever seen. The chocolate stripes were almost jet black.

 “I got some o’  that ultra Dutch processed cocoa to try making my own oreos. Ordered one of them special biscuit cutters too, but it hasn’t arrived yet. So I decided to make a very accurate zebra cake.”

 “You ordered one for bourbons too, right?”

 “What do you take me for, hen? Some kind of godless heathen?”

 You raised your hands placatingly.

 “Just making sure, Johnno. Gotta check to see if you’ve been replaced by a sexy doppelganger every now and then.”

 He squinted at you.

 “Yeah, well. You’ll get your bourbons. With bourbon cream, mind.”

 “Always trying to ply me with something, aren’t you?”

 He looked scandalised when you laughed.

 Within the week he had those biscuits ready for you. True to his word the bourbons had bourbon cream and the orefauxs (as he called them) had Baileys cream. Both were as black as the devil’s bottom.

 “I might need a new wardrobe soon if you keep this up,” you joked between mouthfuls.

 “Ah, I’ll just help you work it off. Or just buy you a new one.”

 The look you gave him might not have been as withering as you’d hoped, but he seemed to get the message.

 “I’ll try to bake you something healthier next time.”

 Something healthier meant a coal black loaf of bread.

 “It’s a black bread,” he said cheerily, “it’s got rye in it. Thought might as well go the whole hog and added some activated charcoal to make it as black as you like your coffee.”

 It was with a heavy sigh that you turned your eyes to him.

 “I can’t eat this.”

 His face did fall this time.

 “Oh. You allergic to rye? Or are you afraid I’ve slipped some marmite in?”

 “My marmite take is neither here nor there. The problem is that I’m on the pill and activated charcoal can make it not work.”

 “Oh, shit.”

 He looked so crestfallen that you felt even worse.

 “Sorry.”

 “No, no. It’s my fault. Shoulda considered that.”

 You tore off a chunk and slathered it with butter, just to see him light up a little.

 “Well, I guess half a loaf over a couple days can’t hurt too much.”

 His grin was blinding.

 “Ah, but what am I gonna do with all this spare activated charcoal? I cannae eat it all meself.”

 You gave him a grin of your own.

 “Could live up to your callsign and use it to make soap. Good for the skin and all that.”

 “Ah,” he said sagely. “So that’s why they kept showing me that melt and pour stuff. I was starting to think I’d have to assassinate Bezos for knowing too much. How’d he even find out?”

 You chuckle as you eat your chunk of bread.

 “It’s really good,” you mumbled, delight rendering you mannerless.

 Johnny puffed up with pride.

 “I’ll try a different colourant next time. Still got that squid ink, after all.”

 “How is recipe development, by the way?”

 “Can’t complain. I’ll have another plate for you in a couple o’ days.”

 “I look forward to it!”

 In the meantime you were working your way through the biscuits, cake and that half a loaf.

 The second round of ravioli was divine. Exactly what was different was a question, but if Johnny was going to continue to be a magician in the kitchen then he was allowed a few secrets.

 He joked that this was the way to your heart, and he wasn’t far wrong. There was something about a handsome and rugged man cooking for you that was so very seductive. So less ‘way to your heart’ and ‘way into your knickers’.

 His culinary adventures continued with a squid ink version of the bread (still delicious, barely tasted different) and so much chocolatey goodness.

 Despite previously thinking such things impossible, you liked chocolate as much as the next woman, it was getting more than a bit much.

 “Don’t worry. I’ll take a break on the old chocolate,” he reassured you over some jjajangmyeon. “I’ve got a few more ideas up my sleeve.”

 He bought you a pie.

 It was rectangular, but certainly a pie.

 “I thought you said you made buns?”

 “I did hen, a bun at least. This is a black bun, it’s traditional around Hogmanay.”

 When he cut it open you could see why it was called that.

 The filling was dark as a moonless night and chock full of dried fruit.

 Granted, you were a bit leery, but you gave it a shot and were pleasantly surprised.

 “This is good. Remind me to come ‘round yours for New Year’s.”

 “It’ll be an invitation, not a reminder, lass.”

 You grinned, even with currents stuck in your teeth.

 The next thing he bought you was fudge.

 You were more dubious about this one than the pie.

 “Why is it black?”

 “It’s liquorice flavoured. Me mam asked me to make some, thought I’d let you try it too.”

 Maybe you could deal with the dried fruit, but the liquorice was a bit much. All sorts were one thing, but this flavour and this texture? It was weird and gritty and didn’t go. No thank you.

 “Well, you win some you lose some,” he grinned, “they can’t all be winners.”

 The liquorice might not have been, but the black sesame seed mochi certainly was.

 “It’s good in a porridge too, they use rice starch to thicken it.”

 You raised an eyebrow at him.

 “Porridge without oats? Do your countrymen know you’re speaking such blasphemy?”

 “Aye, aye. Fair point. You keep this schtumm and I'll work on some fusion cuisine so they don’t burn me in Parliament square.”

 It took a few days, but the proper black sesame seed porridge was welcome. You’d been feeling a little under the weather lately.

 “So what do we call this? Scorean? Kortish?”

 “Please stop.”

 “You’re no fun.”

 Johnny pouted.

 “Oh right. Before I forget; what happened to that soap making? Or am I just not getting any?” It was your turn to pout.

 “Ah, I decided to go cold process. So it’ll be ready when I get back from deployment.”

 You nodded.

 “Do you want me to bring some down when I come pick you up so we can throw it at Simon? ‘Cause he’s gonna need it with that fucking mask he’s always wearing.”

 Johnny’s eyebrow’s rose.

 “I still don’t get why you hate it so much.”

 “I swear he’s making faces at me under that thing.”

 “Really?” He asked dubiously.

 “I just don’t like it. He gives me a weird vibe.”

 Johnny looked affronted.

 “Hey-“

 “Because of the mask. Hated it during the pandemic, too. I’d last three minutes in Japan in the winter.”

 “I’ll take you in the summer then,” he smiled softly, placated.

 You rolled your eyes affectionately.

 “I’ll hold you to that.”

 As ever, it was with a heavy heart that you saw him off the next day.

 He did leave you with some treats to tide you over. Another black bun, some biscuits (chocolate was back on the menu) and a box of lovely dark parkin. Altogether, it should last most of the time he was away.

 It didn’t.

 You stress ate most of it when you found out you were pregnant.

[absolutefilthimsosorry]

Spoilers for DnP Incohearent!!!!

I’m having so much fun trying to solve these that I made a list to keep track! Message if you can help me fill in any I’m missing or if I’ve got any wrong!!!

Also lmk if you see any I’ve missed!! I’m going to keep updating this and have it unrebloggable but you can reblog this post to have a link to it!

These are all gathered from this post and this post so check the notes on those first to try to solve them then look here if you need answers!

Sow march cheer ray = so much cherry

Wee nay urn for uke oye yer tub = we’ve never fucked on youtube?

Ta fold in fig = the golden pig

Feed hay hid eho = vday video

Tat he won ape hit morse him he = daddy want a bit more simmy

Watt ken ice hay = what can I say

North key bus teabag king = naughty busty baking

Fool tie enter nit hobo / fall tie mint her nepo moe / fault aye mint earn are ohm owe/ foul thyme inch hermit hole mold = full time internet homo

Cumin mile aid deed or = come in my ladydoor

Hum hay zinc tan = amazingdan

Elven ower fug sedge own = eleven hour fuck session

An berry moth ribeye adam stir = and every month we buy a hamster

March rest array = Manchester eye

Cyst herding yell = sister daniel

Add a ding teps = editing tips

Cop dubai khaki luna = topped by kakuna

Late eat tore = ladydoor

Half tugger etch two eggs cyst = have the courage to exist

Perish she end wink = Parisian twink

Coal ten big/ goal then pick = golden pig

Cyst ordain yell = sister daniel

Train youth inks = try new things

Gay mean moss/ gain ink mass = gamingmas

Soften need = soft and neat

A wools lied = owl slide

Topper bought them hill = top or bottom Phil

Coat fit firenze = golf with friends???

Few ours pig meow fits = viewers pick my outfits

Read less tar = red lester

Eye eight soup igloo = I ate super glue

Insight youth era too walls = inside you there are two wolves

Mine amy stan = my name is Dan

Clap hella = glabella

Hiss teeth rent = hits different

Eel eyes apron kay kiss = Eliza pancakes

See pram haze ink bra jet = super amazing project

Feels lie yawn = phils lion

Fuel ease snot dawn fair = Phil is not on fire

Jaw shush ear son = josh hutcherson

Ball bull him tour food = bauble in your foot?

Sure eck = shrek

High ate dust = hiatus

Add a dink deps = editing tips

Ga hay shoom air age = gay shoe marriage

Pope eat plate aim = poppy playtime

Eat aches stu = it takes two

Goo gal few ed = google feud

Baze ick lee eye meg ay = basically I’m gay

Ko min yout ti ew = coming out to you

Ender knit subvert grew oop = internet support group

Phylis turn yar a sheen yes = PHIL LESTER YOU’RE A GENIUS

With Audi intern yet wean ed brr wood halve mat = without the internet we never would have met

Gum ban yins drool I’ve = companions through life

Reed sons wide answer flail = reasons why dans a fail

Ewan dam ah some are reed = you and Dan are so married

Denver sis fill/ Denver cis full = Dan vs Phil

Or lawn huffing = all or nothing

Dunk rye core raft = don’t cry craft

Mortal jester roam and thick/ Morph adjust row antic = more than just romantic

So wall how debris poll light = swallow to be polite???

Oar hinge art = orange heart

Foray virgo em = forever home

Chai reel loop/ share real oob = cherry lube

Cad boyd anne = cat boy dan

Far turf ill lip = father philip

Tess lit hen ink = the slittening

Forth house indie rolled or touches = four thousand year old tortoises

Hey moth swish roundup floating = a month without uploading

Jam march let pet tea an farms = Je mange les petit enfants

Day lion howl tour = Dalien Howlter

Ima let all kit = I’m a little kit

Feel pearl lays shell ter = Phil plays shelter

Fewer blue key app ending = viewer spooky happenings

Hell low iam tour reel = hello I am Toriel

Laugh tuh gey mile kuh = left to get milk

Villas eek wreck why vuh = Phil’s secret wife

Footy strain gin said dent = ___ strange incident????

Snow core play sum = snokoplasm

Nope puts cereal sleeping mage innit = no but seriously imagine it

Tear rip pulling flu hence = terrible influence

Jeff why eye aisle hike vague liner = fyi I like vagina

Eggs intense all cry cis = existential crisis

List of contributors

@fletthewreck @dandp @deadandphilgames @manchesterau @thephouseplants @awrfhi @jonsaremembers @rachosaurusrex @dapgolf @dan-whoell @dnphobe @dreamingalto @steveandscraggy @phanbeats @danandfuckingjonlmao @pepper-pastry @yonpote @un-interactive-introvert @spaniel-trowel @sisterdanieldyke @queerdnp @morganadelacour @amid-fandoms @spectral-kitkat @goingpheral @angelzonearth @wdapteo @2009phan @dansevilpianotea

[iamknicole]

Chapter Ten

A/N: Two chapters in 24 hrs! Look at me! 😂😂 but enjoy! ⭐Comment, reblog & share!⭐

Warnings: Cursing, strong emotions ahead, typos, 18+ MINORS DNI!

Masterlist

Chapter Nine

Another three days passed with Zilla staying with Bronco. He would sneak to the apartment late at night to grab clothes when he knew Moriah was asleep. Watching her sleep gave him a dull ache in his heart for her. It wasn't fair that Nadine had made so many unjust decisions for them. There was nothing anybody could say to him that would make him ever forgive Nadine. Before he left the apartment, he made sure to fill her work cup with ice and put it in the freezer for her and put snacks in her purse because she always forgot. He was honestly surprised she didn't notice but then again she never did. 

Slipping back into Bronco's house, he tried to move as quietly as possible so he didn't wake Bronco's little brother. As he moved towards the living room he heard a soft squeal.

“Aye you good in here?” He called out as he walked through the doorway then quickly turned his back seeing Toni sitting top less in his friend's lap. “Oh shit, my bad, B.”

Bronco laughed wrapping the throw blanket around her. “You good, shoulda been in my room anyway. You got what you need?”

“Yeah, I got it. Nice to see you again, T.” He chuckled with his back still to them.

Toni hit her boyfriend, who was still laughing. “It's not funny, Bronco. Nice to see you too, Zilla. Where were you?”

“You really wanna know or you askin cause it's awkward?” 

“Both,” she laughed getting off Bronco's lap, “Answer please.”

He held up his bag for her to see. “Went to get clothes from the apartment.”

“So you saw Rye? Did everything go okay? Well of course it didn't if you're here.” Toni rambled on until Bronco moved to stand behind her and gripped her shoulders. “Huh? Sorry, I'm talking too much. I'm just worried.”

“Ain't no need to worry. He ain't wake her, she don't know he been there.”

Securing the throw blanket around her torso, Toni moved closer to the younger man and turned him around to face her. 

“It's been damn near a week, Zilla. How long are you gonna do this? She already thinks you hate her, this is not helping.”

“That's what I been tryna tell him,” Bronco added, making Zilla suck his teeth. 

“Fat know I don't hate her. I text her. We good, T.”

“That might work with Bronco but that does not work with me,” she fussed. “She doesn't know that because besides you texting her that you love her, you don't say anything else to her and you're not at home.”

He huffed shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Listen, I appreciate you being there for Fat and all that but we straight. I got it.”

“You got it? Yeah, okay. I understand that you're hurting and processing right now but you're literally doing exactly what her mom said you would do. You left her by herself, Zilla. She's alone every day and every night while you're here with your friend every night.”

Toni pushed past him, going to Bronco's bedroom careful not to slam the door. 

“Damn, she kinda feisty,” Bronco chuckled, “But you know she's right. You can't keep runnin, bruh. You gotta talk to her at some point. Good night, man.”

Getting back to the guest room, Zilla got situated for the night and responded to a few texts he had. Jon had invited him and Moriah to the house for a cookout, even though he told him no the first time Jon continued to ask until Zilla gave in. As they were talking a facetime call from Arthur came through. He debated on answering for a few moments before ultimately answering. 

“Damn you wasn't gon answer the phone?” 

“I was gettin in the bed. What's up?”

Arthur knew his little brother well. He could fool their other brothers and occasionally their mother but it was very rare that he could get past Arthur. 

“You tell me. What's going on with you?”

“Nun, wrestlemania season so it's busy.”

“Now that you got ya lie out ya system, let's try the truth, Isayah. You know whatever you tell me don't go no further.”

Zilla couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped him, it was dipped in sarcasm. “Oh trust me, I know you can keep a secret.”

Arthur's face scrunched up, giving his brother a confused look. “It's obviously something you wanna say so say it. Get it off ya chest.”

“Why you ain't tell me?” He asked after a minute. 

“Tell you what?”

“About Angel. You knew and ain't say shit.”

Arthur sighed, wiping his free hand down his face. “This ain't what you wanna hear but that wasn't my place to tell you, Isayah. It wasn't my business to tell. That was for Moriah to tell you.”

Zilla rolled his eyes. “Okay so why not tell her to tell me before?”

“Do you think she wanted to hold this shit in this long? No, she didn't. She wanted to tell you but she been terrified to tell you since the moment that test came back positive.”

“I hear you.”

“If you're acting this way with me then I can only imagine how you acting with her about this.” Arthur paused to gather his thoughts. “That's why y'all ain't been answering our calls. She told you and you lost your shit, didn't you?”

He sucked his teeth hard. “I ain't lose shit. She told me and I left.”

“The hell you mean you left? You left the room? That's what you better mean.”

“Left the apartment. I needed to get away from the whole thing before I took it out on her.”

“You got air then what?”

“That's it. I ain't been back since and before you start I'm not tryna hear shit about it.”

Arthur chuckled under his breath. “I don't care what you don't wanna hear. It's fine for you to want space after hearing that but running from it won't change it. You do know that, right?”

“I know that, Arthur.” 

“I know that look on your face so tryna say anything else to you is pointless right now so ima go. You call or text me when you wanna talk.”

Before Zilla could say anything else, Arthur disconnected the call. He could add another person to the list that felt his anger that didn't deserve it. The whole situation with Angel was eating at him, the person he wanted to take his anger out on was nowhere near and he wasn't calling her. Not yet at least. 

Zilla

12:45am

Remember u said if I ain't find 1, u would fine 1 fa me?

Aunt Kami

12:45am

Yup.

Zilla

12:46am

I ain't find 1

Aunt Kami

12:48am

Gotcha. I'll let you know when your appointment is.

Zilla

12:49am

Thank u. I owe u

Aunt Kami

12:50am

No you don't. Is everything okay?

Zilla stared at the text trying to figure out how he wanted to answer. He knew Moriah is the closest to her Aunt Kami and her Aunt Gabi but he wanted her to have control of how much she wanted them to know. 

Zilla

12:55am

Not really but ion wanna talk about it. 

Aunt Kami

12:56am

That's perfectly fine, Zilla. But if you do, you know I'm here. Go to sleep, love yall

Zilla

12:56am

Love you 2

Getting out of bed was hard for Moriah and going to work was even harder. Having to act like everything was okay especially in front of Thomas so he didn't raise suspicion to her mother was tiring. Zilla buying her a car made it a little easier since he hasn't picked her up from work since. Even though Thomas worked her nerves, the kids on the pediatric floor gave her a little joy.

Entering her five year old patient's room, Moriah got sanitizer and approached the bed with a smile. She greeted her parents softly then laughed seeing her patient faking sleep. 

“Nia's sleeping? I thought she was up.”

The mother smiled, her eyes crinkled in the corners. “Thought so too. Guess she fell asleep.”

“Well I guess I have to give this pop it game to my other patient then,” Moriah playfully started to walk backwards. 

Nia's eyes popped open followed by her giggles. She reached her hands out. “Noooo! I'm awake! I'm awake!”

Her parents and Moriah laughed along with her. She approached the bed again, taking the game from her pocket to give to the five year old. 

“The gopher game! You found it!”

“I did, I told you I would. I got you, girl.”

“Thank you! Thank you!”

Moriah started to check her vitals. “You're so welcome, friend. I talked to Dr. Harris and he told me that you can take it with you to pre-op while you wait.”

“Yes!” She squealed excitedly. 

“And when you come out of surgery, what would you like to eat?”

“Anything?”

Moriah winked at her. “Anything, friend.”

“Spaghetti and meatballs!”

“You're gonna turn into a meatball, Nia.” The dad joked. 

Moriah finished up and went to grab more sanitizer. “Spaghetti and meatballs it is, friend. Mom and Dad, Dr. Harris and another nurse will be in shortly to talk to you a little more about her surgery then take her to pre-op.”

The mother stood quickly. “Wait, aren't you going to surgery with her?”

“Well, no ma'am. I'm sorry.”

“Could you?” She asked, grabbing Moriah's hand. “Please. It would make us and her feel much better if you did. You've been so good to us the last few days, she just adores you.”

Moriah rolled the thought around in her head. “I'll check with the team and make sure it's okay. Alright?”

Leaving the room, Moriah walked around the floor looking for Dr. Harris. She found the slender, salt and pepper African American man engulfed in a conversation with Thomas. The sight of him repulsed her but she pushed it aside for her patient. 

“I'm sorry to interrupt, Dr. Harris. I wanted to run something by you about Nia Whitfield's surgery.” Her eyes shifted momentarily to Thomas. “In private.”

Dr. Harris smiled, he was always a jovial man. It's why the kids in the pediatric floor loved him. 

“Of course, Nurse DeBreaux. And it's okay if Gardner stays, he's going to be in surgery with me shadowing.”

It took every bit of willpower for Moriah not to roll her eyes at that. 

“Isn't that … great. Nia and her parents would feel more comfortable if I went into surgery with her. I know you had another nurse scheduled with you and I understand if we can't change it but I wanted to try.”

Dr. Harris waved his hand dismissively. “Never be fretful to ask to switch in my surgeries. I want my patients and families to be as comfortable as possible,” he explained. “If they want you then they got you. I'll meet you at her room in fifteen minutes.”

With that, he walked off towards his office she presumed leaving her with Thomas. He stepped closer, she took two steps back and held her hand out to stop him. 

“Stay out of my personal space, Thomas.”

“Our first surgery together. Aren't you excited, Moriah?” He asked, smiling from ear to ear. 

“Not at all. You need to focus on not messing up in there instead of on me.”

He shrugged. “It's just a hernia removal. Piece of cake. In and out in an hour tops.”

She rolled her eyes. 

“You heard what I said.”

“How's your boy? One of my patients had the show on last night, he's not bad.”

Moriah turned to walk away from him, mumbling to herself. Getting transferred back to the emergency department wasn't happening quick enough for her. Between the rift with her and Zilla and Thomas always in her face at work, she was more than tired. 

Hassan pulled up to the house he knew Tamera would be showing in the next couple of hours, parking discreetly behind hers. He grabbed the flowers he had gotten her before jumping out and heading for the porch. The door was open, he knocked on the door frame as he entered. He didn't have to wait long for Tamera to come out, her heels clicking against the impressive marble flooring. Her smile grew wider seeing Hassan.

“What are you doing here, Hassan?”

He gave her the flowers then kissed her cheek. “I was in the neighborhood and decided to stop by. Happy to see me?”

His heart swelled as he watched inhale the flower's scent excitedly. 

“Yes of course I'm happy to see you. But in the neighborhood, sir?” She laughed. “You live forty five minutes from here.”

He pulled her into a tight hug. “Not the point. You mentioned you didn't have flowers for the house today so here I am.”

“Thank you,” she grabbed his hand, pulling him with her through the house to the kitchen. “I'll put them in a case. They're very beautiful, Hassan.”

“Just like you.”

Their eyes met, her eyes flickered with a very familiar flame that Hassan acted like he didn't see. The flame in her eyes was the same flame that burned inside of him but he wanted to make sure she knew what she was getting into with him. Gabi and Moriah would say that he was stalling but he hadn't and didn't plan on asking them. 

“You are slicker than can of oil, Mr. DeBreaux.”

“And you, Ms. Jefferson, are sweeter than honey.”

Tamera checked her watch then glanced back at Hassan, a smile rose to his face again. 

“Two hours until your appointment, Tamera.”

She hummed, filling a vase with water. “Guess we better put those two hours to good use then.”

His phone rang interrupting their stare down. Seeing his ex-wife's name made him internally groan but he excused himself and stepped out of the sliding door to the backyard.

“How can I help you, Nadine?”

“Am I interrupting you or something? You sound irritated.”

He chuckled. “You know I don't enjoy talking to you, Didi. What is it?”

“Well that's rude, Hassan. I was just calling to check on Moriah. Apparently she's blocked my number.”

“You say that like it's a surprise. She meant it when she said she was done.”

Nadine scoffed into the phone. “Anyway, how's my baby? Have you talked to her today? I heard she's going into her first surgery today.”

Hassan took the phone away from his ear to stare at it for a moment. “No, I haven't talked to her today but she's fine. How the hell did you hear that?”

“I have my ways. Later on, you need to call and ask her about it. And tell her to call me, this is something we need to talk about.”

He took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves. “I'm not telling her anything, she'll call if she wants. Whatever person you got keeping tabs on her at that hospital needs to stop.” He spat harshly. 

“If you think I'm gonna just stop looking out for my baby because she's upset with me right now then you're sadly mistaken,” Nadine fussed. “This isn't the first time, she'll get over it. She got over that damn baby, didn't she? Exactly so she'll be fine.”

“That damn baby was your grandson, Nadine! He was a part of you and you took his life! You took him, you traumatized our daughter, who is also a part of you and you act like it was nothing!”

“Oooh,” she cackled, “I struck a nerve if Hassan is yelling. Not cool, calm and collected Hassan getting out of character over that bastard baby.”

“You would stoop so low and hurt our daughter because you're pissed at me? You're pissed at me for something that didn't have to change anything about our lives, Nadine.”

Laughing, she mocked him, not bothering to give him an actual response.

“What if she would've hurt herself? What then?”

“Oh please that girl is weak but she's not that weak. She would never.”

He chuckled bitterly. “Because you know her so well, right? Nadine, stop trying to hurt my daughter. Leave her alone, let her be and let her live her life.”

“Your daughter?” She snorted. 

“Yes, my daughter.”

“Goodbye, Hassan.”

The urge to chuck his phone into the pool a few feet away from him was strong. Instead he stuffed it in his pocket and took slow, deep breaths to calm himself down. No one could make him as angry as his ex-wife and he hated it. Some would say it was because he was still in love with her and reached to be her but they didn't know him. He hated who his ex-wife became right before and after their divorce, he didn't know her. Feeling hands on his back, he jumped a little then relaxed remembering he was there with Tamera.

“Didn't mean to scare you. Just wanted to check on you. You looked stressed.”

He wiped a hand down his face. “I'm sorry about that, it was my ex-wife. I'm alright though.”

She gave him a small smile, taking his hands in hers.”You don't have to be sorry, I understand about exes. We can talk about it, if you want. Or not talk.”

“Not talking sounds good,” he smiled. 

Bronco and Zilla sat on the floor in front of one of the practice rings with a few of their peers listening to Booker and Regal talk to them.  Since their interaction after the run in with Thomas, Zilla and Booker hadn't said much to each other if it wasn't work related. 

“Getting TV time doesn't mean you stop practicing and working hard to get better,” Regal informed looking at each of them. “The goal is to stay on TV. Right?”

The group acknowledged him with an answer.

“So if you all know then why are we here right now?”

Silence. 

Booker ran a hand over his locs, stepping in to add his own thoughts. “It's great that yall go to promo class, it's great that you're getting TV time but what's not great is yall either half assing it during drills and practice or not showing up at all.”

Zilla honestly didn't understand why he had to be in this conversation. He went to practice, he went to class and he did his thing on TV. With everything he had in his plate, the lady thing he wanted or needed was to be chastised about something he wasn't doing. The whole time Booker spoke, he rolled his eyes and scrunched his face up which didn't go unnoticed by the older man. 

“Is there a problem, Zilla?”

He sucked his teeth. “Nah, mane. Go head.”

“You sure? Cause the eye rolling and facial expressions is telling me something different.”

Again, he sucked his teeth. “Man, go head. I ain't say nothing, did I?”

“This is something I need everybody to understand right now. Don't take me for no sucka, I don't disrespect any of you so don't disrespect me,” he moved closer to Zilla as he spoke until he was in front of him and snatched the younger man up from the floor, ripping his shirt in the process. “Cause if you wanna get disrespectful, I can show you how I handle disrespect. Is that understood?”

The two men stood nose to nose with no intentions of backing down. Zilla's chest puffed out from his heavy breathing, his jaw tight and his eyes burned. Booker maintained eye contact with him, seeing the tears in his eyes. Bronco watched the interaction wanting to step in but he knew it wasn't his place and he knew his friend needed it. 

“I asked a question. Is it understood?”

Zilla scrunched his face to keep his tears at bay and choked out a ‘yeah’. Booker turned him around and pushed him gently towards the door, letting Regal know they'd be back. He guided the younger man to his office, closing the door behind them, then went to sit on the corner of his desk as Zilla dropped into one of his chairs. 

“Let it out, man.”

Zilla choked back a sob, wiping angrily at his eyes. “I'm good.”

“You ain't. Ain't no way you are. I looked into your eyes, man. You're not good.” Booker said softly. 

“I am. My bad for what happened.”

“I accept your apology but man it's okay to not be okay. Is everything okay with you and Rye? Or is this about your dad?”

Pulling up the end of his now ripped shirt, Zilla wiped his face with it. He cried softly, unable to hold it in anymore. 

“Both,” he mumbled beneath the fabric of the shirt. “This shit is hard, man.”

“I know it's hard, I know it is but turning on the people trying to help you won't make it any easier, Isayah. Your people love you,” Booker explained, moving to kneel in front of the younger man. “Lean on the people that love you instead of leaning away. I know it's hard to be vulnerable but sometimes it's necessary. Alright?”

Zilla nodded, pulling the shirt from his face. “Aight.”

With a smile, Booker stood then pulled Zilla up and into a hug. “Go change your shirt and come back to practice. But understand I meant what I said, I'll put you right on your ass if you do that again.”

Zilla chuckled and agreed. 

They left the office going in opposite directions, Booker back to the practice rings and Zilla to the locker room to change shirts. On his way, he went ahead and pulled the ripped shirt off, stuffing part of it into the front of his doors, letting it hang. 

“Hey, Zilla!”

Not stopping his stride, Zilla threw his hand up at Gia. “What's up?”

She jogged a little to catch up with him. “Damn you walk fast. Why you in such a hurry?”

“Gotta get back to practice.”

“Your face is red,” she observed stepping in front of him to stop him, “Are you okay? You wanna talk?”

“I'm good, just hot,” he lied, wanting to get away from her. “Ain't nothin to talk about.”

“I feel like you're lying. You can talk to me, Zilla. I'm a good listener.” She smiled, rubbing her hand up and down his bare arm. 

He moved her hand off of him, placing it back at her side. “Like I said, I'm good and if I'm not, I talk to my lady or my mama.”

“That girl of yours must have you on a short leash,” she joked. “I mean I can't blame her, I'd wanna hold on to you too.”

He scrunched his face. “I ain't on a leash. I respect my lady and our relationship.”

“Sorry, sorry. I'm just saying every time I talk to you, she comes up. I know she's there, you don't have to worry I'm not gonna try anything. I can appreciate a good looking man and be respectful.”

Shaking his head, Zilla moved around her and went to the locker room. After he changed his shirt, he checked his phone to see if he had any notifications. 

Aunt Kami

9:33am

Saturday @ 10am. I'll send the location. You can take Rye if you want. 

Zilla smiled a little at the message. 

Zilla

1:15pm

My bad, been workin. Thank u, Auntie!!!!

He exited their thread then went into Moriah's. His smile grew a little wider. 

Moriah

11:30am

Just wanted to let you know that I'm going into my first surgery in 30 minutes! It's a short one, not more than a hour but I'm so nervous and excited! 

Zilla

1:20pm

I'M SO DAMN PROUD OF YOU, FAT!! I know u did amazing, baby. I love u

Zilla tucked his phone away and locked his things back up before he left the locker room. He opted to run back in order to avoid Gia, in case she was lurking around. 

After surgery, Moriah stayed with Nia long enough for her to wake up so she knew Moriah had been there the whole time. When her parents came in, she slipped out to go grab the food she had delivered for the young girl. She sat it up in Nia's room with Toni's help.

“You need to get your man to go on back home.”

Moriah chuckled softly. “If I could, I would, Toni. What happened?”

“He walked in on us last night. Interrupted my moment.”

Moriah laughed, taking a peek at her friend's face. “A moment that you swore wasn't gonna happen because yall are just friends?”

“That is not the point, ma'am. The point is, it was interrupted.”

“I got more than a I love you today so maybe he'll be back soon,” Moriah shrugged, putting the parents’ food to the side. “Tell me about it though. Did you finally get some? Cause if you did, I'm gonna need him to try again you still mean.”

Toni wadded up a napkin and threw it at her friend. “I am not mean. No, we didn't. After that lil run in, the mood was killed.”

“Damn, I'm sorry. Try again tonight, at your place.”

“We can't leave his brother by himself, Rye.”

Moriah thought for a moment. “He can spend the night with me. I could use the company and I'll take him to school on my way to work tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan. Two birds with one stone. I'll let Bronco know.”

Before Moriah left the hospital, she stopped by Nia's room to check on her and to let her know that she would see her in the morning. She stopped by the store to get something to cook for dinner and snacks for him before she went home. She texted Toni to let her know that they could drop him off whenever they were ready. 

A facetime call interrupted her music as she cooked. She answered it quickly, seeing Arthur's name. 

“My favorite!” She said excitedly. 

“Hey, sweetheart. How you doing?”

She propped her phone up so they could see each other while she cooked. “I'm alright, Art. How are you?”

“I'm okay. Worried about you though.”

She smiled briefly at him. “I'm okay, no need to worry about me.”

“If you lie to me, I can't help, Rye.”

Setting her tongs to the side, she leaned against the counter behind her and stared at the phone. 

“I'll be okay, Art. It'll be okay. I promise.”

“I talked to him. He told me you told him about Angel and he left. Why you didn't call me, manamea?”

She shrugged. “I didn't think he would be gone this long. I thought he would've come back the next day and when he didn't … I don't know. I just didn't wanna talk. He's so mad.”

“He's mad, he's hurt, he's angry but not with you. I don't know if he bit your head off but he tried to bite mine off,” Arthur chuckled, “But he knows it's misplaced anger. He knows.”

“Yeah,” she said softly, wiping her eyes. “It's been a week but he's texting back now at least.”

Arthur wished he could teach through the phone and hug her because he knew she needed one. This is what she had been terrified of all these years and it was happening. 

“What did he do when you told him?”

“He asked questions, he would barely look at me. He yelled at me but he apologized right after. I was frustrating him.”

“Frustrating him?”

“He asked me what happened to Angel and where he was and I was telling him that I didn't wanna tell him.”

Arthur sat quietly for a moment, he wanted to say that his little brother shouldn't have done that but given the situation and the emotions in that moment, he could understand it. 

“You weren't frustrating him, the situation was, Rye. Do you want me to come out there? I can clear my schedule for yall.”

She shook her head moving back to the stove. “No you don't gotta do that. We'll figure it out.”

“I hate this for yall but I'm proud of you for telling him, Rye. And I know you're glad you were able to tell him before Nadine did.”

The doorbell going off interrupted their conversation, she let him know that she would call him later and went to get the door. She smiled seeing Javier standing there with his bookbag and overnight bag. She hugged him then invited him in, she took his bags sitting them beside the sofa. 

“I'm so glad you're here Javi. Dinner is almost ready. You didn't eat yet, right?”

“No ma'am, my brother told me you were cooking. Thank you for having me.”

She cooed, going to pinch his cheeks. “Awwe, you're so polite. You can call me Rye, okay? You don't have to say ma'am, I'm not that old yet.”

He laughed going to sit on the sofa. Moriah went to close the door but was stopped by a hand. She panicked for a second then noticed the ‘630” tattoo and breathed a sigh of relief as she opened the door back for him. They locked eyes as he stepped inside, pushing the door closed with his hand. 

“Hi,” she greeted softly. 

He greeted her just as softly. “What's up, Fat?”

She wanted to hug him but she honestly didn't know if she should or could so she played with her fingers to keep from touching him. 

“I'm gonna go finish dinner.”

He nodded. “Ima shower real quick. You need anything before I get in?”

She shook her head. 

“You sure before I get in?”

She smiled a little at the familiarity. “I'm sure, Zay.”

Again, he nodded then turned his attention to Javier. “Aight, Javi, make sure she don't burn our food, man.”

The trio sat on the sofa eating dinner and watching one of the John Wick movies. Moriah sat between them, trying to ignore her boyfriend's eyes constantly staring a hole into the side of her face. He would look away long enough to take bites of his food and catch a scene or two but that was it. At least she knew he'd missed her as much as she'd missed him. When they were all done, Moriah took their dishes to the kitchen and cleaned up while Zilla showed Javier how the shower worked and set up his blanket and pillows on the sofa. He was done before Moriah so he went to lean against the breakfast bar to watch her. 

“How did the surgery go?”

She jumped and squealed, turning to face him. “Dammit, Zay. I forgot you were here.”

“My bad,” he chuckled. 

“It's alright. It went really good. It was a hernia removal on a 5 year old.”

He frowned. “How does a 5 year old get a hernia?”

“When their intestines bulge through the abdominal wall inside the belly button they can develop one.”

“That sound painful. How was it seeing it?”

Moriah smiled as she wiped down the counter. “It was really cool honestly. It was crazy to see how big it was. She was a trooper though.”

“Yeah? She went home today?”

“Uhn uhn. She'll be there two more days and she's excited about it cause she doesn't wanna leave me.”

He chucked. “I bet you love that.”

“A lil,” she laughed.

He let her finish her cleaning in silence, keeping his eyes on her. Javier came back out to the living room and got comfortable on the sofa, remote in hand. 

“You got your alarm set, Javi?”

“Yup, all set, Rye.”

“Your phone on the charger?”

He sat up to check it. “Yup, it's good. Can I watch TV?”

“Sure,” she smiled, “If you want a snack or drink, you're welcome to whatever is in the kitchen, Javi.”

He grinned at her before turning his attention to the TV. “Thank you.”

Zilla approached Moriah, speaking softly. “Can we talk outside, Fat?” When she agreed, he grabbed her hand. “We gon step outside for a few, Javi. Yell if you need us.”

They sat beside each other on the first step, shoulder to shoulder. The night breeze gently whipped around them. 

“First, let me apologize for walkin’ out like that and not lettin’ you know I was aight. No matter how upset I was, that wasn't right.”

“I accept your apology, Zay.”

“Second, I don't hate you and I'm not mad at you so get that thought out your head. You my Fat and I love you.”

She nodded, blinking a few tears out. “I love you too.”

“I can't imagine how scared you was that whole time and the pain that must've caused. You needed me and I wasn't there, I'm sorry, Moriah.”

She laid her head on his shoulder, crying softly. She wanted to tell him that he didn't need to apologize but she needed to hear that. 

“Thank you for apologizing. I gotta be honest, a part of the reason I was so mad at you and refused to come see you was because of Angel.” She admitted softly. “I knew that my mom would've probably still did what she did if you weren't locked up but I wanted you there. I needed you, Angel needed you and you left us.”

His face scrunched as he tried and failed to keep his tears at bay. They betrayed him, slipping from his eyes in rapid succession. He moved the arm she laid on, wrapping it around her and pulling her closer to him. 

“I regret not being there for you and him, it's something ima spend the rest of my life tryna make up for. I appreciate you been honest with me, Fat. I gotta be honest with you too.”

“I'm listening.”

“I love you and I don't wanna lose you but if you let your mom back in your life, I can't promise that ima stay. My love for you is the only thing keepin me from doin anything to her. I can't have her in my life, Moriah.” He spoke honestly. “She took our baby from us and probably any possibility of having another. She took what would've been a piece of my pops from me and my family. Do you get that?”

“I got it, Zay. I do.”

“That's the only thing I'm asking of you. Keep her out of our lives. She don't want shit but to tear us down and tear us apart. You got me, my family, your dad and the rest of your family … you don't need shit from her.”

“I'm done with her. She's not coming back unless you and I decide that she can. I've washed my hands of her. I promise.”

Nodding, he put his finger under her chin tilting her head back. He wiped the lingering tears from her face then kissed her softly. 

“I love you, aight?”

“Aight,” she giggled softly. “I love you more.”

“Damn I missed you.”

“Not as much as I missed you, big head.”

“Two more things though.”

She raised a brow waiting for him to finish. 

“We changing your number tomorrow.”

“Okay, second thing?”

“Since Zilla can't get you pregnant right now, can Zilla throw his condoms out?” He laughed. 

“Boy,” she laughed, “They're tied not burnt but I guess you can throw them out.”

“What that mean?”

“It means that there's a small chance that I can get pregnant but very small. And if we want I can reverse the procedure but it's not guaranteed to work.”

Zilla pecked her lips a few times making her giggle. “Well guess we gon find out how small that chance is.”

[instruth]

YOU AND I

You and I

way up high

from the sky

as you sigh

sweet as pie

Just as I

true not lie

cry oh cry

till tears dry

you may try

Swift as fly

my oh my

wine in rye

evening bye

fears defy

Little fry

can’t deny

won’t say aye

you know why

we’re too shy

Do not sigh

passing by

from the sky

way up high

You and I

©Johnny J P Lee

25 July 2024

A Gogyoshiren Poem (25)

(Read down, then back up)

Photos, J. P. Lee

[inafieldofdaisies]

WIP Wednesday | Tagged by @josephseedismyfather and @simplegenius042 ❤️

This week we're diving in some Leslie and Cal shenanigans, and then stopping by for a visit at the Ryes. ❤️

"So, I see your morning has been going well.", Leslie noted with amusement the second the door of the bar closed behind them. Calahan snorted a laugh as he picked up Zorro and headed towards his truck, "If you count having the woman you like almost walking in on you when you're about to be butt naked…", he shook his head at his companion's raised eyebrow, "What?" Leslie came to a stop by the passenger side door and popped it open for him, "Not a problem I've faced before." "No?" "Were you like… trying to seduce her?", the words left him slowly, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to ask the question. Calahan shot him a wink as he placed Zorro in the seat, "What do you think?" "Probably not… and that it won't even work with her." Tell me about it, chief. "Yeah." The simple but very true statement bounced around his mind as he climbed behind the wheel and tugged at the seat belt with more force than necessary. The pent-up frustration was beginning to get to him, especially when he couldn't imagine taking to bed anyone but her. You're messing with my head, Angel. It's not good. Zorro eyed him as if sensing his souring mood, and Calahan couldn't help but crack a smile, "Feeling like visiting uncle Nick, my boy?"

The slam of the car door cut him off and he watched Leslie settle in the backseat before he muttered, "Sorry." "What for, chief?" "For what I said about Mary May…" Hartley waved him off, turning the key in the ignition, "It was the truth." "I think she likes you." Two pair of blue eyes met in the rearview mirror as Calahan backed away from the Spread Eagle's parking spot, "Yeah?" "She certainly looks at you the way I wished Rina would look at me someday." His confession wasn't all too shocking after how he had spoken about Sabrina the night before with the alcohol loosening his tongue and letting the hurt slip out a little. He must have seen something in Hartley's eyes because he rushed to add, "I'm over that." "Even if you ain't… I'm not judging." Leslie cleared his throat as he shifted his gaze out of his window, "Where are we headed? You said Nick…" "Nick Rye. I have to drop him off some spare parts for his truck since Gus and the boys fled the Garage. Plus, it's always good to check on him and Kim. John has them on his list." Calahan felt the sigh that left his new partner when they passed by a group of cultists rounding up civillians in the back of a van, "He's probably laughing at all of us from his bunker."

"He won't be for long. I promise you that.", he said and hit on the breaks sharply, the screech of the tires making the two Peggies and their hostages look up as he came to a halt behind them. The Eden's gate truck he was driving served its purpose, winning him a couple of extra seconds where they didn't react by reaching out for their weapons, or at least that's what he blamed their inaction on. "Get down, my boy.", was all Hartley shouted before he swung his door open and jumped out with Leslie in toll. "Brother Jo-", one of the Peggies uttered out in confusion, not getting a chance to finish whatever he was about to say thanks to Calahan's fist connecting with his face. Parish took down his buddy as he was reaching for his walkie to call back-up. "Aye, Leslie, see what I mean about using you as decoy?" "Very funny." "It would work. You can straight up march into his bunker and they'd be none the wiser." "Sure, past the first gate. Then I'd be dead." Calahan rolled his eyes as he walked over to the civilians and pulled out his switchblade, "Not if we have the right outfit. Come on, Detective, doesn't your kind love going undercover?" One by one the men and women were freed of their zip ties, muttering quiet thank yous before scrambling down the road towards Falls End. "Stay safe, people.", he called out after their retreating forms.

Leslie released a groan and sent a hateful look at John's billboard ahead of them, "I'm not dressing as John Seed, Calahan." Hartley looked up from the man he was meticulously tying up, "For now." "Ever." "We will see." Seconds later the two Peggies were in the place of the people they were planning on kidnapping: defenceless and restrained in the back of the Eden's Gate marked van. "What do we do with them?", Leslie asked as he slammed the doors shut and secured the lock. "I'm gonna call in my buddy. Oakley's gonna make sure we get whatever information we can out of them. It ain't everyday we get potential alive informants." "Think they know about Sabrina?" Hartley raised the walkie to his mouth, "Doubtful. Come in, Moore. Over." Silence filled the other line but it wasn't long before Oakley Moore's modulated voice broke it, "Rookie. Listenin'." "I have a package for you, just outside Fall's End near the fucker's billboard. Two 'volunteers' for pick-up." A haunting chuckle mixed with the static, "You know how to start my morning just right, buddy. I will be right there. Over and out."

"So… Oakley?" Calahan smirked as he patted Zorro's head before starting the truck, "John's not the only one who can make people talk and spill out their secrets." And Moore was damn good at it, never turning down an opportunity to unleash her anger about the Project going after her grandparents and forcing her to come back to Montana after working as a private military contractor overseas. "Now I'm curious to meet him." He bit back a smile at the incorrect assumption and the chaos it could emerge from it at the introduction. He could almost picture Parish's expression when he inevitably would realize the mistake he had made. It would be priceless. Popcorn worthy even. Oakley would love it too. "Can be arranged. Though, Oakley is someone we need to warn in advance if you don't want to be taken out for good when your pretty face gets mistaken for John Seed's." "I'm starting to think I should shave." Calahan's eyes scanned the road ahead of them, watching out for more targets, "And ruin our plan for infiltration? No." "Your plan.", Leslie corrected him, "That you devised after getting drunk yesterday." "Most of my plans are conconted that way, chief."

Parish pursed his lips, "From all the people you folks had to decide I look like…" "You still ain't gonna admit you're a dead-ringer for good old Johnny?" "Am not." Calahan's fingers drummed on the steering wheel as he turned on the radio and "Oh, John" boomed from the speakers, filling the truck and making Leslie swear out loud. "Oh, Leslie, bold and brave, agree to march over to Johnny's GATEEEE…", Hartley sang over the usual lyrics, meeting Zorro's dark gaze, "He looks like John, right, my boy? Even the universe agrees, Parish." The torture with cult songs didn't proceed much further since he himself couldn't tolerate them, so he switched to his usual station, humming along the song that came on. Leslie's head poked in between the seats as they took the turn, leading up to Nick's property, "Should I prepare myself to be punched in the face or worse upon meeting the Ryes?" "Erm…" "Doesn't sound good." "Nick and John don't get along. Just stay behind me, and you should be fine." "Should?" Calahan shrugged, "I can't predict the future, chief." "And Nick, he's a pilot?", Leslie asked as they went under the gate marked with a "Rye & Sons Aviation" sign. "Yeah. Used to give tours, offer deliveries before everything went to hell. Gray even took Tiny for a visit once, she wouldn't stop talking how uncle Nick promised she'd fly with him next time." "Fuck."

"Yeah.", Hartley cleared his throat, willing for the gut-wrenching feeling that swooped in anytime he thought of Savannah to dissipate, "Everything will be alright." It had to be. He couldn't imagine losing anyone else to the Project. As he pulled into the driveway, the first thing his eyes stopped on was an all-too-familiar crude mark sprayed over the white siding of the Rye's house. "Sinner.", Leslie read out loud, "You weren't kidding about them being on his list." His words were a hopeless statement, and Calahan couldn't help but dread finding the house empty the next time he'd stop by. That the Ryes would vanish like Ms. Darcy and so many others, the numbers only growing since the start of the Reaping. "I'd be damned if he takes them, too.", he muttered darkly as he reached around to let Zorro's out first, who lasted no time to start sniffing around one of his favorite places in the Valley. "Nicky, y'all awake?", Calahan called out as he slammed his door shut, the sound of Leslie's echoing simultaneously, "Stay behind me, chief." "You sure they're here?", Parish asked in a low voice, "What if-" "Nothing's out of place, Leslie. Nick would put up a fight if John's fuckers had stopped by." He couldn't in fact imagine a not-so-friendly visit not leaving behind any traces, not with how much Nick Rye had to protect.

The two watched as the front door swung open and Calahan breathed out a sigh of relief at the confirmation his friend was alright for the time being. Nick took a second to stare at the house's extrerior before descending down the small set of stairs, hollering back, "Rookie" and reached out a hand for Hartley to shake. "I'd ask you to fine the bastard for defacing my property, but ain't the times different now.", he added quickly, noticing for the first time Calahan had brought along company. "Nick. Before-" "Holy fuck.", Nick exclaimed in surprise, his tone making Hartley reach out his hand to stop a potential assault from taking place. Maybe I should let him shave… "I know he looks like a certain someone. But he's far more pleasant, I promise." "Rookie-" "Leslie Parish,", Calahan slipped into his usual introductions, "Nick Rye. Nicky, Les is a friend of Sabrina's. A detective, nonetheless." He could feel Parish cautiously inching closer until he was standing by his side and a hand was offered to Nick in a greeting, "Pleasure to meet you." The man's aviators were doing too good of a job of concealing his eyes and any indication of where the encounter might go. Second ticked by before a smile spread across his face and he grasped Leslie's palm, "Well, if that ain't something I didn't think I'd see. KIM." "What?", a faint voice carried from inside the house. "Come and greet our guests."

"Guests?", Kim's question was accompanied by the creak of door as she peeked outside, then as she noticed the people standing in her driveway she walked over with a hand cradling her very pregnant belly. "Hello there." "Not John Seed." Kim rolled her eyes at Calahan's automatic warning, "Figured that, Rookie. I'd accept the world is ending the day I see you and John in such close promixity." "Kim Rye.", she announced when she turned to Leslie, "Hope my husband here didn't do anything drastic." "Ah, Kim, I was on my best behavior.", Nick argued, looking at Calahan quickly, "Help me a little here, partner." Leslie just gazed between the two in amusement, "No, m'am. Leslie, Leslie Parish, nice to meet you." "Well, aren't you the sweetest. Come on, enough standing around out here.", her eyes darted around the yard until they stopped on Zorro, who was swatting away at a butterfly, "Glad to see you got him out." "My boy bit off a Peggie's finger, Kimmy.", Calahan said proudly as the group climbed onto the porch. "He truly is your kid, Rookie.", Kim replied with a smirk as Nick let out a laugh and asked, "Think our son would hate John and his men as much, baby?" She sent him a glaring stare, "We talked about this already." "Aye, woman, technology ain't always right." "Nick!", Kim called out after his retreating form as he breezed into the house and disappered in the direction of their kitchen. "Won't convince me, until baby Rye is in my arms, Kim.", he shouted back.

Calahan could tell Leslie was doing his hardest to be polite and not chuckle at the exchange as they followed closely behind Kim. "Sit. Sit, you two.", she pointed at the kitched table as she opened the fridge, "Beers? Shit. Or is it too early? Coffee?" Nick nodded, "I will get those, you sit down, too." Calahan watched the two exchange a look, the type that oftentimes filled him with a sense of longing in the recent days and made him wonder if he'd ever have what they had. Jesus. Am I getting old? Is it too late to ask for that beer? Or something stronger… "Thank you.", Leslie muttered as Nick placed a cup of coffee in front of him. "So, a friend of Sabrina's ending up in Hope County-", he started, taking a seat next to Kim and grabbing her hand in his. "Any news?", Kim interjected his small talk attempt, worry slipping into her gaze.

"No.", Calahan hated it was all he had to offer anytime anyone inquired about Sabrina. Nick leaned in, like there was anyone around to overhear, "And Harker… he's positive it was her?" "With John Seed from all people.", Kim shook her head, the same way she had when she first had heard the news, "Why would she even?" "He said so. I showed him a picture, I needed to know for certain." "How reliable is he on Bliss?" "Nick." "What? All I'm saying, is you know how potent that shit is. People have seen Bigfoot on it, for Christ's sake, Kim."

The whole time Leslie sipped his coffee without a word, his frown only growing deeper. "Savannah was with them.", Calahan reminded them with a scowl of his own. "He left us a note to go with his other "we're coming for you next" message, you know." Kim sighed, "Nick." But her appeal didn't stop him from getting up and retrieving a folded piece of paper that he passed over to Calahan. "He really thinks by marking my house, he'd scare me into joining them. Claims he cares for the "three" of us, Rookie. Fuck, we should have left when we had the chance, Kim barely sleeps as is." "We're not leaving. We talked about this, too." "And have him go after our son once he's born? Parade us around like he's doing with Hudson?" His words won another eyeroll from Kim, "Daughter." Calahan stared at the letter, scanning over John's no doubt carefully selected words. The empty reassurances were something the Baptist loved using as a tool, how he had convinced so many to join him: by instilling fear and promising safety, when he himself was the danger.

Nick, The Collapse I talked to you about has started. I know you want to protect YOUR FAMILY. The only way to do this is by joining OUR FAMILY. Our bunkers have everything Kim & Baby Rye will need to survive. There are dozens of expecting mothers and children here already with us. This is my final plea to you. Say YES. John Seed

"Want me to send someone over as back-up, Nicky? Give you two some peace of mind." "I can protect my family, Rookie. Would at any cost. You know that." "I know.", Calahan nodded as he placed the letter back on the table, "But… if you need any help, just say the words." Nick took off his sunglasses, rubbing at his eyes tiredly, "Thank you, partner." "Did you two pick out a name yet?", Leslie broke the heavy silence that had fallen over the room, his question making Kim groan out loud while Nick beamed at the in he had unknowingly granted him. "Oh, here we go." "We've been making a list, actually. Agreed each would get 6 names for boy and girl." Calahan just bit back a smile, having heard a version of Nick's name ideas already, but back then the list had been longer.

Leslie gave him a small nod, "I assume John is off the table." "Hell yes.", Nick raised a hand, counting the names as Calahan drummed his fingers on the table for dramatic effect, "So for boy, we have Nick Jr., Nick II, Ace, Pilot, Gunner and Wingman." Parish chuckled, "Naturally." "I, of course, deeply feel like baby Rye would be a boy. But Kim, here, insisted I have back-ups in case it's not…" Kim send her husband a warning look, "Were you not with me at the ultrasound appointment, Nicholas?" "That was on a messy black and white TV screen. You know them things ain't reliable." "We're having a daughter, Leslie. Nick is just still in denial he won't be handing off the business to a son. Breaking a little tradition they had going on." "It's not certain yet.", Nick insisted, "And anyways… if, and that's a huge if, baby Rye turns out to be a girl, I narrowed the names to Nicole, Nicola, Nikita, Nikki, Nicky and Nicoletta." "Cute.", Calahan noted, knowing no matter what name or gender baby Rye had, they would be loved unmeasurably. "Don't encourage him, Rookie, please." "Who do you think helped me with my first list, Kim?" Kim patted his hand, aiming to change the subject away from the name picks, "Ah, Leslie, you know Sabrina was the first person to guess we will be having a girl. Took one look at my belly on her last visit and said how she couldn't wait to meet my daughter. Nicky did his best to convince her her feeling was wrong, but then we went to the ultrasound…" Her revelation made Leslie crack a smile, "Rina's always been intuitive. Our captain hated to see her go, probably hoped if I come to visit her, she'd change her mind and return."

Tagging, @socially-awkward-skeleton @direwombat @strangefable @strafethesesinners @voidika @madparadoxum @florbelles @corvosattano @henbased @aceghosts @adelaidedrubman @jillvalentinesday @cassietrn @clicheantagonist @josephslittledeputy @g0dspeeed @poisonedtruth @purplehairsecretlair @nightbloodbix @thesingularityseries @theelderhazelnut @trench-rot @chazz-anova @euryalex and anyone with something to share ❤️

[steelycunt]

if come on eileen doesnt do anything for you i really think we might as well throw the towel in. if you can hear come on eileen too loo rye aye and not even feel a little bit brightened im seriously out of ideas sorry. come on. eileen

[mogwai-movie-house]

The Best Album Per Year for Sixty Years

No-one asked for it, of course, but I do like making lists, so here's me pondering what have been the best Long Players in the album artform the past 60 years. I originally tried to keep it to just one per year, but many years that proved impossible: when listing multiple albums I have tried ranking them with the one I feel narrowly edges out the others first, and I use lower case to indicate an album that is not at the same level as others on the list but was the best I've heard from that time.

Feel free to have fun with the list and make up your own.

----------------

1962 Bob Dylan - Bob Dylan 1963 The Freewheelin' - Bob Dylan 1964 another side of - bob dylan 1965 Highway 61 Revisited - Bob Dylan 1966 Pet Sounds - The Beach Boys / Blonde On Blonde - Bob Dylan / Revolver - The Beatles 1967 Magical Mystery Tour - The Beatles / The Velvet Underground & Nico / Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme - Simon & Garfunkel / Safe As Milk - Captain Beefheart 1968 Astral Weeks - Van Morrison / The White Album - The Beatles / Bookends - Simon & Garfunkel / We're Only In It For The Money/Lumpy Gravy - Frank Zappa 1969 Let It Bleed - The Rolling Stones / Abbey Road - The Beatles / In A Silent Way - Miles Davis 1970 Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel / Plastic Ono Band - John Lennon 1971 Imagine - John Lennon / Blue - Joni Mitchell / What's Goin' On - Marvin Gaye/ 2 - Moondog 1972 Exile On Main Street - The Rolling Stones / Discover America - Van Dyke Parks / Clear Spot - Captain Beefheart / Ege Bam Yasi - Can 1973 Raw Power - Iggy And The Stooges 1974 Blood On The Tracks - Bob Dylan 1975 Horses - Patti Smith / Discreet Music - Brian Eno / Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd / Velvet Donkey - Ivor Cutler 1976 The Ramones - The Ramones 1977 Low - David Bowie / New Boots & Panties - Ian Dury / Marquee Moon - Television / 77 - Talking Heads 1978 Music For Airports - Brian Eno / This Year's Model - Elvis Costello / Third (Sister Lovers) - Big Star / More Songs About Music & Food - Talking Heads 1979 Unknown Pleasures - Joy Division/ Fear of Music - Talking Heads / Into The Music - Van Morrison / Sheik Yerbouti - Frank Zappa / Rust Never Sleeps - Neil Young 1980 Remain In Light - Talking Heads / Closer - Joy Division / One Trick Pony - Paul Simon / Common One - Van Morrison 1981 Faith - The Cure 1982 Thriller - Michael Jackson / 1999 - Prince / 4 - Peter Gabriel / Too Rye Ay - Dexys Midnight Runners / Big Science - Laurie Anderson / Nebraska - Bruce Springsteen 1983 Swordfishtrombones - Tom Waits / Murmur - R.E.M. / Hearts & Bones - Paul Simon / Off The Bone - The Cramps 1984 Purple Rain - Prince & The Revolution / Hatful Of Hollow - The Smiths / Various Positions - Leonard Cohen / Reckoning - R.E.M. / The Unforgettable Fire - U2 1985 Don't Stand Me Down - Dexys Midnight Runners / Rain Dogs - Tom Waits / Around The World In A Day - Prince & The Revolution / Suzanne Vega - Suzanne Vega / Hounds of Love - Kate Bush / Hunting High & Low - A-ha 1986 Parade - Prince & The Revolution / So - Peter Gabriel / The Queen Is Dead - The Smiths / Graceland - Paul Simon / Steve McQueen - Prefab Sprout / Blood & Chocolate/King of America - Elvis Costello 1987 Sign O The Times - Prince / The Joshua Tree - U2 / Strangeways Here We Come - The Smiths / Actually - Pet Shop Boys / Tango In The Night - Fleetwood Mac 1988 Irish Heartbeat - Van Morrison & The Chieftains / Green - R.E.M. / Viva Hate - Morrissey / The Serpent's Egg - Dead Can Dance / Surfer Rosa - Pixies / Naked - Talking Heads / Introspective - Pet Shop Boys / I'm Your Man - Leonard Cohen / Blue Bell Knoll - Cocteau Twins 1989 Disintegration - The Cure / Technique - New Order / Doolittle - The Pixies / Oh Mercy - Bob Dylan / Avalon Sunset - Van Morrison / Rei Momo - David Byrne / Behaviour - Pet Shop Boys / Candleland - Ian McCulloch 1990 Extricate - The Fall / The Good Son - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds / Songs For Drella - Lou Reed & John Cale / Jonathan Goes Country - Jonathan Richman 1991 Screamadelica - Primal Scream / Achtung Baby - U2 / The Bootleg Boxset - Bob Dylan 1992 It's A Shame About Ray - The Lemonheads / Henry's Dream - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds / Automatic For The People - R.E.M. / Good As I Been To You - Bob Dylan / The Future - Leonard Cohen 1993 Debut - Bjork / Dubnobasswithmyheadman - Underworld / Exile In Guyville - Liz Phair / Neroli - Brian Eno / Come On Feel - The Lemonheads / Zooropa - U2 / Vena Cava - Diamanda Galas

1994 Selected Ambient Works Vol. II - Aphex Twin / Toward The Within - Dead Can Dance / Let Love In - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds / Dummy - Portishead / Autogeddon - Julian Cope / Vauxhall & I - Morrissey 1995 Anthology - The Beatles / The Ugly One With The Jewels - Laurie Anderson 1996 Boys For Pele - Tori Amos 1997 Ladies & Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space - Spiritualized / The Boatman's Call - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds / Time Out Of Mind - Bob Dylan / Vanishing Point - Primal Scream 1998 Up - R.E.M. / I'm So Confused - Jonathan Richman 1999 Play - Moby / I See A Darkness - Bonnie Prince Billy 2000 XTRMNTR - Primal Scream / All That You Can't Leave Behind - U2 / The Marshall Mathers LP - Eminem / Kid A - Radiohead / KY - Lemon Jelly 2001 Vespertine - Bjork / Love & Theft - Bob Dylan / No More Shall We Part - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds 2002 The Eminem Show - Eminem 2003 Room On Fire - The Strokes / The Man Comes Around/Unearthed - Johnny Cash / The Wind - Warren Zevon 2004 Has Been - William Shatner / How To Dismantle An Atom Bomb - U2 / You Are The Quarry - Morrissey / The Milk-Eyed Mender - Joanna Newsom / Smile - Brian Wilson 2005 Another Day On Earth - Brian Eno / Le Fil - Camille 2006 Modern Times - Bob Dylan / Surprise - Paul Simon / Love - The Beatles 2007 for emma, forever ago - bon iver 2008 vampire weekend - vampire weekend 2009 No Line On The Horizon - U2 / The XX - The XX 2010 show me the face - michelle gurevich 2011 Angles - The Strokes / So Beautiful or So What - Paul Simon 2012 Life Is People - Bill Fay / Old Ideas - Leonard Cohen 2013 Comedown Machine - The Strokes / Crimson Red - Prefab Sprout 2014 Ghost Stories - Coldplay / 1989 - Taylor Swift 2015 ★ - David Bowie 2016 Lover, Beloved - Suzanne Vega / Stranger To Stranger - Paul Simon 2017 American Dream - LCD Soundsystem / antisocialites - alvvays 2018 music for installations - brian eno 2019 weezer (teal album) - weezer 2020 rough & rowdy ways - bob dylan 2021 happier than ever - billie eilish 2022 dragon new warm mountain i believe in you - big thief

[pfhwrittes]

Mortuarywriting gives off devious little black cat vibes I will let them snack on my writing. If only to also avoid air jail because while I am a plumb bird I am still 5'3" and easy to toss around to my horror.

Twas the worst hangover of my life not even getting crossfaded with too little water was as bad as that. But I did apparently paint a set piece for an upcoming school play because the drama teacher realized I wasn't on planet anymore and had my best friend watch me.

Sweet Soap, I'd make sure to have milk on standby for him. (I have a head canon about him that he works through his spice intolerance while in Las Almas as a bonding experience with Alejandro and Rudy.) And tease Ghost about his squeamishness, but also get it I can't with octopus. Poor Price guess we'll have to find smelling salts for him and send Gaz and Kate home with extras because that is how we show love around here with food.

.....you would chew on crab sticks?????? Is that a British thing???? Wot. (Not like I can say much peanut butter and pickles on rye bread is amazing even if it gets me weird looks)

friend, friend i'm so sorry i forgot to reply to you! please forgive me. here take this heart as an apology 💜

okay dehydration and heatstroke are no joke and i have experienced both of those things. not even my worst hangover can compare to heatstroke. but the fact that a 32oz monster put you on your arse and sent you off to do painting??? oh my god i am wheezing out a laugh here. holy hell. well done to your drama teacher for finding you a friend to keep you in one piece.

i LOVE your headcanon that soap would work through his spice (in)tolerance with ale and rudy as a way to bond. that's incredible. poor soap is struggling through every mouthful and going "aye, yeah it's braw, pal" whenever they ask "are you okay, hermano?" with deeply concerned looks.

look, look. it's not a british thing it's a weird parker thing (that's me, i'm the weird parker thing). i'd crunch down on crab sticks to get as much crabby goodness outta those things as possible, and now that joy has been taken from me and i'm really REALLY annoyed about it. it's truly a sign that there is no benevolent force in the universe that i became allergic to shellfish and i will find the cause of my shellfish allergy and FIGHT IT behind the big tesco in town.

(i'm also going to politely decline your snack of choice because while i'm not a fan of pickles, the peanut butter will kill me dead in 20 minutes. another one of the universe's cruel tricks on me, i'm afraid.)

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

3, 12, and 21 for Gimli

Oh fun! I've not thought too much on Gimli so this was an interesting exorcise <3

3. Obscure headcanon

You know, I don't know that I have an obscure headcanon. Is him and Boromir being bro's obscure? Because I headcanon the crap out of that.

I'll readily say that I absolutely adore Gimli, more-so in the books than in the films, but I've not spent much time with him as a writer so I don't have too, too many head canons with him. And, more importantly to this question, I've not spent much time in his fandom corner so I'm not sure what's obscure and what isn't.

I head-cannon that he doesn't cleave as closely to certain traditions as other dwarves and that's caused some strife in the family. Lots of sense of guilt on his part and hurt/wounding on the part of his parents and relatives.

12. Crack headcanon

Boy heard the Ring doing it's Ring thing and told it to "Get Fucked" and somehow the Gold Lust never really hit him. So like, the ring just didn't work on him. It thought it had an in, since he's a dwarf and the ring is as presumptuous as its master, but Gimli was like "ach nae, fuck off" and the ring was like "??????"

Boromir: it burrows its way in, you know?

Gimli: so I've heard.

Sam: .. ... you've never heard it calling?

Gimli: Aye. Once. And I told it that I thought its father was a shite ridden sheep and that it was nothing more than a dime store trinket and it should go on its way. It's not bothered me since.

Gimli: just tell it that it has no power over you. it's simple.

Aragorn: no.

Aragorn: no. it's not that simple.

Gimli: sure it is. Just tell it to get right fucked.

[Later]

Aragorn: new strategy, Gandalf. We just get everyone to demean the ring and tell it we think it's nothing but a piece of shit and that it sucks.

Gandalf: /sighs/ you've been talking to Gimli, haven't you?

21. Drink of choice (not just alcoholic)

Ale brewed with heather! It's got a nice herbal quality and depth of taste that I think Gimli would like.

Oh, I do headcanon him as being a phenomincally good brewmaster. He's got the gift for it and knows how to taste ale and beer and can tell you exactly what is in it and where half the ingredients originate.

Gimli: Rye from southeast of the Entwash, grown likely near a deciduous forest, and fermented consistently at a cool temperature between four to eight feet below ground.

Eomer: How can you tell???

Gimli: how it tastes. Also the casks were previously used for brandy-wine, but that's obvious so I didn't think it worthy of mentioning. Your weird traitor witch creature over there also added some oak chips to this brew here alongside...mugwort, mandrake and with that fuck is that fly agaric? What the fuck are you trying to do with this ale?

Grima: get high, see visions, do crimes.

Gimli: ... ... .alright then.

Gimli:

Gimli: no one drink from this barrel. The witch traitor did funky things to it.

Grima: dwarves brew with heather!!

Gimli: sure, but we're not adding anything else to the mix. Gods.

------

Thank you!!! <3 <3 <3