#total bullshit title there

[ebongawk]

.

[nintendont2502]

Just remembered I'm meant to have all my pre production shit done soon and I. Don't even have a script yet. Oh fuck

[munsonluhvr]

can you make a virgin! Eddie x experienced ! reader smut plsssssss I’ve been wanted to read to read a good story abt something like that yk 🙈 but ima not be picky sooo anything Eddie x reader would be good 😋

Ty I love your stories 💙💙💙

ANATOMY LESSON

contents: virgin!eddie munson x experienced! reader. smut! 18+. Eddie reveals to you, his best friend, that he's a virgin and you offer him a little lesson - but the lesson turns into a lot more then either of you expected. word count - 3.5k

notes: dear requester - I love you for requesting this. There were sooo many different scenarios I thought of writing for this request, and I totally ignored the pile of homework I have to do to write this immediately, but I hope everyone enjoy this. It was awfully fun to write.

“Wait, what?” you say, a laugh lacing your tone. You lay on Eddie’s bed, your sock covered feet digging into his bedsheets. “You’re so lying, you haven’t done it yet? How did I not know that?” 

Eddie doesn’t turn to look at you, obviously embarrassed by his admission. Finally, Eddie shrugs, looking at you from the corner of his eyes. “I don’t know, I guess we never talk about our sex lives with each other.” 

“Well, yeah, because there’s clearly not much going on in that department in either of our lives, but I did assume you’ve had sex for the first time by now.” You say, leaning up on your arm to look at Eddie. You were honestly shocked by the admission; how had Eddie not had sex, especially since he’s two years ahead of you? 

It’s the wee hours after you and Eddie have been released from school, opting to, as usual, spend time with each other. You and Eddie had been best friends for as long as you could remember, always bound at the hip. When you were younger, your parents had been friendly, pushing you and Eddie together. When Eddie’s parents left Eddie with Wayne, his uncle, your parents were quick to absorb Eddie into your family. However, you always made the distinction that you didn’t see yourselves as essentially siblings, everyone certainly knew that you two were the best of friends. Any free time you had you spent with Eddie, every secret you had Eddie knew. Eddie was your other half, and you were his. 

Again, Eddie shrugs. “Consider that assumption wrong,” Eddie says, turning away from you.

You can’t help but snicker. Eddie was the coolest, most confident person you know. He never cared about what others thought of him, he owns the title ‘freak’ that Hawkins titled him with utmost pride. Sure, Eddie had never had a girlfriend but that doesn’t necessarily mean he hadn’t had sex. 

“Do you want to?” You say, curious. Didn’t every young male want to have sex? 

Eddie lets his eyes flick to you; he frowns. “Y/n, I don’t want to talk about it, especially with you.” 

You gasp in an exaggerated fashion, leaning on your arm to place your free hand over your heart. “Why not? We talk about everything with each other.” 

Eddie rolls onto his side, facing you, mimicking your position. He shakes his head. “This is different. Guy and girl best friends aren’t supposed to inquire about each other’s sex lives.” 

You scoff. “That’s bullshit, it’s not a big deal, Eddie. It’s just sex, it seems ridiculous to make that the one topic we don’t talk about with each other.” 

Again, Eddie shakes his head, looking off into the distance behind you. “I don’t know, it’s just weird.” 

You can understand how Eddie must feel - embarrassed. For some reason, having sex, or talking about it in society is shameful but at the same time not having done it at all, especially as teenagers, is shameful. You decide to joke and make it lighthearted to encourage him to lighten up. It truly wasn’t a big deal. 

“Eddie Munson, are you the waiting until marriage type?” You say, laughing as you shove him lightly. 

Eddie groans, burying his face into his tattooed covered bicep. “Y/n, stop. Trust me, not having had sex yet isn’t a choice; I would have done by now if the opportunity ever occurred.” 

“Is there someone you want to do it with?” You ask, tilting your head to the side. Eddie hadn’t recently expressed having a crush on anyone at school but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a girl he has his eye on. 

“No,” Eddie says. He peeks up at you from his arm. “Okay, fine, yes.” 

“Eddie, what the hell,” you exclaim. “Are we even best friends if you keep all these things from me?” 

“I’m telling you now,” Eddie says, sitting back up. “It’s embarrassing; I like this girl but have no experience in that department whatsoever. I wouldn’t even know what to do if I got her back home.” 

You are dying to know who Eddie likes, knowing that whoever she is, she’s lucky. You’d love nothing more to encourage Eddie to pursue this girl, but you know asking who she is might be a bridge to far for Eddie in this moment; you decide to stay focused on the topic at hand. 

You’re silent for a minute, thinking over tips to help Eddie in the moment where he would have a sexual encounter with a girl – then a wild idea comes to your mind. 

“I’ll help you,” you say, sitting up. “I’ll teach you what to do.” 

Eddie frowns. “What? How would you teach me to have sex?”

You laugh, knowing what you’re about to say will shock Eddie. “I’ll have sex with you,” you say nonchalantly and as if Eddie should have understood that right away. 

“Y/n,” Eddie says, jolting up from his spot on his bed. “Have you lost your mind?” 

You shrug, starting to peel off your jacket you’re wearing. “Like I said, sex is no big deal. I can walk you through what to do so you know what to do when it happens with the girl you like.” 

Eddie crosses his arms, sliding himself off the bed to pace at the foot of his bed. Your head goes from side to side as you watch your best friend walk from one side of his bedroom to the other side. “No, I can’t have sex with you, you’re my best friend.” 

You hum. “To me, that’s exactly why you should have sex with me. Think about it Eddie, we have been in each other’s lives for as long as we can remember, we’ve done everything together and know everything about each other. We’ve always been there for and supported each other in any way the other needs; teaching you how to have sex is just another way I can support you.” 

The idea to have sex with Eddie, with the end goal being that Eddie is more confident with a girl, sounded insane to begin with and even suggest, but as you explain yourself– it didn’t sound that insane at all. 

Eddie laughs nervously, running a hand through his hair then crossing his arms over his chest. “This is a joke, right?” 

You roll your eyes. “No, it’s not. Here, I’ll prove it: I’ll show you my tits.” You say, tucking your hands underneath your t-shirt and letting your fingers dig underneath the band of your bra. 

Eddie yelps, covering his eyes. “No, y/n, don’t. Okay, I believe you.” 

You laugh, dropping your hands into your lap. “I’m serious, Eddie. We can take it slow; I’ll teach you everything and answer any questions you have.” 

Eddie glances at you, maintaining eye-contact as he mulls over a response to your question. Eddie is twenty years old, far passed the average age everyone at Hawkins has sex for the first time. Always, but more recently, he’s been worried about how his performance might be for the lucky lady and how she might expect him to be more experienced considering his age. Although he finds your proposition jarring, he decides to put the awkwardness aside and take up your offer. “Okay,” is all Eddie can manage to say. 

You clasp your hands, happy that your oh so thoughtful offer was accepted. “I knew you’d come to your senses. Are you ready?”

“You want to do it right now?” Eddie says, his eyes growing wider. A hot wave washes over him, instantly becoming nervous. 

You give him a curious look. “I mean, there’s no better time than the present, plus we didn’t have any other plans for later.” 

You watch Eddie as he turns into a nervous wreck, his fingertips digging into his already crossed arms. You can imagine how being told you’re going to have sex on the spot can make someone feel, so you lean forward on the bed, outstretching your arm to grasp onto Eddie. “It’s okay, we’ll take care of each other,” you say, offering a small smile. 

In response to your touch, Eddie lets his arms drop to his sides. He moves from the end of the bed to the side you occupy, getting several feet closer to you. “Okay, right now it is then,” Eddie says, nervousness lacing his words. 

And you begin your lesson. 

“Okay, so. Say you just took this mysterious girl that you like out on a date and things went so well, which she’s on a date with you so of course it would, that you take her back to here.” You say, gesturing towards his bedroom that you both stand in. “Once she gives you that look, a look that says, ‘I want to have mind blowing sex with you have to set the mood immediately.”  

“Set the mood?” Eddie says. 

You roll your eyes. “Kiss her. You have to start kissing her, Eddie. Feel her up a little, don’t be coy, I know you’ve watched porn before.” Eddie’s cheeks flush with embarrassment but you continue on. 

You scoot over on the bed, allowing space for Eddie to sit. You pat the open space, tugging Eddie to sit next to you. “When you start with kissing, it makes it easier to transition to stripping clothes off and ultimately have sex, you know?” 

Eddie nods, crossing his arms across his chest. You’re quick to uncross them, scooting closer to Eddie, the side of your leg touching his. “Okay, go, kiss me.” 

Eddie’s mouth opens and the closes, his mind drawing a blank. “Okay, no, that is a bridge too far.” 

“Eddie, did you really think I’d just let you dry fuck me without any foreplay? Foreplay is the most important part.” You exclaim, shaking your head. 

Eddie looks away and then complies. He leans in, his hands placing themselves on your cheek, drawing you closer to him. Your lips meet, letting your mouths intertwine with each other, tongues beginning to dance. You thought Eddie would pull away quickly, but he doesn’t, letting your mouth stay connected to his. You can feel the eagerness in his mouth, every movement begging for more. You take your lesson to second base. 

Swiftly, you lay back on Eddie’s bed, Eddie following you down. With ease, he arranges himself over you as you part your legs to let him rest on top of you comfortably. You lean your head back, letting your lips break away from Eddie’s. “Very good, now is when you start taking her clothes off – and yours.”

Eddie squirms nervously on top of you and you’re sure you feel his arms lightly tremble. “Are you sure about this?” 

“Never been surer about anything, Munson.” 

Eddie sighs, leaning back onto his knees. His fingers tempt the end of his t-shirt, lifting it up and off of his torso. You watch, looking at his tattooed covered body and noticing the necklace that has a guitar pick as it’s pendant that hangs around his neck. You roll your eyes; He loves that thing.

Eddie goes to unbuckle his belt, but you gently kick his leg. “Don’t take off all your clothes and then mine; make it a back-and-forth thing. You take your shirt off, then take mine off. It’s a joint effort, let her do some of the work too.” 

Eddie considers this, coming to an understanding on your principle. He places himself over you, his fingers twitching as he plays with the hem of your shirt, beginning to lift it up and off your body too. 

Eddie has never seen you naked, not fully at least. Sure, there was that one time you got caught in the rain and your shirt was so soaked that you stripped it off once you got to his house, opting to borrow one of Eddie’s shirts. He had seen your bra then, the way your breasts settled in your bra nicely, the raindrops dripping down your chest. There was also that other time he realized how comfortable you were with him when you stripped down to your underwear and bra on a hot Indiana summer day, unable to bear the feeling of your clothes on your body or against your skin. Eddie had tried, in both of those instances, to give you your privacy and not stare at your assets – but he couldn’t help it. His eyes were drawn to your silky, supple skin, your curves, and the way you were so close to being naked, revealing your most intimate parts to him, but he didn’t let himself think about you in that way – at least not then. 

Eddie tosses your shirt on the side of his bed, letting it drop to the floor. He realizes he’s holding his breath as he’s looking at your breasts, one of your nipples poking out from behind the bra. You notice that he’s analyzing you, taking in your bare skin. You don’t mind, you find yourself comfortable under his gaze. 

“Keep going,” you say, though it comes out as a whisper. Your hands travel to his crotch, your fingers beginning to unzip the fly of his pants. Once his jeans are unzipped, you and Eddie work together to shrug his jeans off. You kick his jeans to the side of the bed, letting the piece of clothing fall next to your shirt on the floor. Eddie is quick to attend to your pants, his fingers enveloping the band of your jeans, pulling your bottoms off swiftly. Your hands find their way to his biceps, steadying yourself as Eddie works to pull your clothes off. 

Eddie feels himself getting hard against your thigh, his arousal growing stronger but he’s quick to try and hide that fact. You lean up, your front pressing into Eddie as you reach behind yourself, unclipping your bra. Eddie almost cums in his boxers as he watches your breasts bounce out of your undergarment. Eddie doesn’t know what to do next, his mind in a whirlwind. He closes his eyes, looking away from you as he shrugs his boxers off, his cock bouncing out of its restraint, showcasing his arousal. 

You swallow hard, eyeing his larger-then-you-imagined cock. Eddie has never known if his cock is a decent size, never having anything to compare it to or someone to tell him so, but by the look on your face, he knows he’s just fine. 

Eddie waits a beat, waiting for you to pull your panties down but you don’t move. You want him to take them off. Eddie catches on eventually, hooking his two fingers on either side of your hips, pulling your panties off with ease. Deep inside, Eddie’s sexual hunger grows, wishing he could do away with your rules, letting his primal nature guide the exploration of your body. But he restrains himself, waiting for your instructions.  

You part your legs, revealing your most sensitive part and now it’s Eddie’s turn to swallow hard, beginning to imagine what’s to come. 

“And now?” Eddie says, his fingertips brushing your jaw as he pushes a strand of your hair that clings to your face. You watch him intensely, feeling the tension grow between you and Eddie rapidly. A pit grows in your stomach, the stimulation of Eddie de-clothing you causing a rush of emotions. You’re hoping this doesn’t turn out to be a mistake. 

You clear your throat. “I have a feeling you know what to do now.” In response, Eddie offers you a small smile, re-positioning himself on top of you. 

Eddie lines himself up with you, cock in his hand, and he inserts the tip in, pushing himself into you slowly. You gasp, biting your lip as you let your head fall back; the feeling of Eddie pushing himself inside of you igniting a strong sense of pleasure throughout your body and limbs. 

Eddie thinks back to the porn he’s watched, though he knows that’s not an accurate representation of sex or how girl want to be treated. He mimics some of what he’s remembered seeing, rolling his hips so that he pulls himself in and out of you rhythmically. 

You let your legs wrap around Eddie’s waist; Eddie glances down, noticing how he’s drawn into you further when your legs attached to him – he wishes he could have your legs around him forever, holding him in place. He shakes his head at the thought. 

“What’s wrong?” You say, your hands finding their way to Eddie’s face. Eddie continues to move in and out of you and a soft moan escapes your lips. 

“Oh, uh – nothing.” Eddie says, adjusting his arm that rests next to you. His new position brings you and Eddie’s chests closer, your nipples brushing his bare skin. Eddie finds himself not being able to concentrate. 

 Your hands move from his face, moving them to let your fingertips brush Eddie’s back. His skin his warm, your body feeling cold and exposed. Your body heats up when you acknowledge how Eddie’s cock bulges inside of you, stretching the walls of your cunt to allow him inside of you. You had already had sex before, with two or three guys, but no guy was as big as Eddie – of course Eddie would have the biggest cock out of all the guys you’ve slept with. 

 While you’re thinking about how Eddie’s cock is painfully, yet pleasurably, big - Eddie is staring at your tits, wondering how they’d fit in his mouth. Just then, Eddie has no idea what comes over him. He suddenly has no regard for the concept of your ‘anatomy’ exercise, attempting to teach him how to have sex as his best friend – Eddie just wants to fuck the shit out of you. He wants to fuck his best friend. 

Eddie dips down to your chest, his large, ring-covered hand, clasping your breast. His mouth engulfs your breast, his lips puckering around your hard nipples. Eddie lets his tongue flatten against you, roughly licking your tits. You gasp again, your body arching in response to his bold act. Instantly, your fingers lace into his hair, pushing him further down against your chest. Eddie, emboldened by your response, moves to your other breast, copying what he had done just seconds before. 

Once he finishes with your second breast, Eddie keeps his mouth to your sternum, placing a trail of kisses from your chest up to your neck, leaving soft kisses underneath your ear. 

“Go faster,” You say, your thighs clenching around him. You knew it was wrong, the feeling you have growing inside of you as Eddie thrusts in and out of you. You wanted him bad, in ways you knew weren’t the ways you should think about your best friends. 

Eddie obeys, making his movements quicker, his thrusts rougher. Eddie loves the way he feels in this moment, the trembling of yours legs around him and the way your fingertips grip the roots of his hair. He never wanted this to end. 

“Am I doing it right?” Eddie says, mumbling into your neck. 

“You’re doing so good, that girl, whoever she is, is so lucky.” You say, a moan parting your sentence. “Fuck, this feels good.” Eddie smiles against your skin at your answer, his body moving smoothly against yours as if you’re two perfect fitting puzzle pieces.  

Eddie feels a burning sensation growing inside of him, his skin beginning to flush. He was about to finish. Obviously, Eddie had jerked off before, a lot actually, so he knew what feeling close felt like but this time feeling like he’s about to come while inside of you feels a lot different – it feels so much better. He doesn’t want to stop, enjoying the way he’s come to having sex with ease, as if he’s a natural at it, but he knows the inevitable and not something he can control entirely. 

 You, being just as wild as Eddie, pull his mouth back to yours, enveloping your lips on his. The action made everything much more intimate, so much deeper than just helping your friend out. Your lips nip at his, begging to be paid attention to. Eddie leans on one arm, letting his hand trail to your face, his large hand cupping half of your face. He leans into the kiss, glad to pay attention to your mouth. Eddie feels the intimacy grow between you, making his arousal even stronger, and he comes – instantly. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Eddie whispers, separating his mouth from yours. He looks down, noticing how specks of his semen are splatted across your inner thighs.  

You laugh softly, secretly wishing you could go for a second round. You mauver your body under Eddie’s top sheet, hiding yourself from Eddie. “And that’s how you have sex. I’ll give you an A-, you should pay more attention to foreplay when the real thing happens.” 

Eddie follows you, submersing himself under the sheets. “So, you’re saying I could use more lessons with you?” 

You frown, looking over at Eddie. “What? You want to do this again?” 

Eddie looks away, staring at his guitar that hangs on his mirror. His guitar is his prized position, a material object he finds so much confidence and security in. Eddie realizes it’s time to confess. “You know the girl you asked me about?” Eddie asks you. “Well, that girl is you.”

[ineedsleepsoleavemealone]

I'm so upset about Five and Lila's friendship being ruined. they had such a good platonic friendship!!! it was such a good arc too!!! the coworkers to enemies to reluctant allies to found family was such a good arc!!!!! they had such a good relationship!!! the banter, the vibes, the shared trauma!!!! it never needed to be romantic!!!! what was the point!?!

the worst part was that it was so obvious the writers were going to do it!!!! once they got stuck in the subway and the title of the episode was " Six Years, Five Months, and Two Days" (or something like that) I knew!!! and it hurt!!! everytime they showed them getting closer, I cringed!!! I was really hoping that I was wrong, but I wasn't!!!

i could totally see them getting closer. having six years to get over their past grievances with each other, to talk about the Commission and The Handler, to talk about their family being idiots. I could totally see them becoming more like siblings!!!! I needed more witty banter and them being chaotic besties, not whatever the fuck they were doing!!!!

also season 1 Five would never!!!! he would never do anything to harm his siblings unless he absolutely had to for their own good! he never hated his family, it was all a mask, a coping mechanism, so no one had to see that all he really fucking wanted was to keep his family safe!!!! the while point of season one was that Five disobeyed the Commission's orders to save his family!!!! so what was the point of fucking his brother's wife????

also!!!! Lila would never!!!! after all the shit her and Diego went through in season three??? all the lovey dovey shit!!! they would never get bored of each other!!!! maybe they would get bored of suburban life, but they would make it work!!!!! they would go on trips, or take up boxing, or something other than hate each other!!!!! THEY HAVE KIDS TOGETHER, LILA WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO HER KIDS!!! not after what happened in her own childhood!!!

the age gap between them is horrendous!!!!! she's fifteen years older than him!!!!!! "Oh, well, Five is 73," or some other bullshit you might be saying. DOESNT MATTER!!!!! Either way one of them is way too old for the other!!!!! Lila, physically. Five, mentally.

THEY WERE AN ICONIC DUO, WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS????

so yeah, fuck tua season 4

[slttygeto]

Hello lovely human :) First off, I hope you are well you are having a nice cozy summer and life is treating you well, as you deserve ^^ I have been reading your jjk stuff for a while and saw your requests are open so i got the courage to give it a shot :) Long story short, what i had in mind is reader having feelings for Gojo but also being bad a direct interaction, so she shows her love to him by trying to make his *busy* life easier (which Gojo never experienced from someone) like: giving him food/sweets, making sure he sleeps, asking about his day and secretly taking on missions from him so he has more free time (to live his life, like??? helloo). He notices these things at some point, considering that is almost always he who does stuff for others, and giving the fact that he mayyyy alsoo like reader/oc he decides that maybe he should do something about his growing feelings too :D I thank you from my heart if you choose to write this! Thank you soo much :)

subliminal message | satoru gojo.

note: first of all! thank you so much for the sweet message, this truly made my day/week! and second of all, I have been struggling with writer’s block for a while so I hope you still like this as it somehow/slowly got me out of it. i had fun writing for satoru so thank you so much for this request!

word count: 1,6k

COMMISSIONS

For a guy who prides himself on using infinity, the space on Satoru’s desk suddenly feels limited. The bento boxes piled up on his right tumble over with an accidental brush of his hand. Then his eyes shift to the food crumbs on the carpet. It suddenly sinks in. Satoru has been having proper meals lately. 

But the strongest doesn’t know what to think of it at first. His six eyes point out almost everything, so it is surprising–perhaps even unusual for him to not notice things right away. Even more so when it is six bento boxes in total. 

His coffee splashes as he walks down the corridor and into the teacher’s lounge where his eyes land on your approaching figure. With a pile of documents in your hands, you fail to notice the pair of blue eyes following your every move. 

You were a talented sorcerer, a few years younger than Satoru so you didn’t witness his highschool years or knew of the awful friendship breakup that he had with his old best friend. All you knew was that he was called the strongest for a good reason, and that he welcomed you so warmly that it left you yearning for the man’s attention and friendship since day one. 

“Oh, good morning!” you say cheerfully and Satoru returns your greeting with just as much excitement. You say something about too much paperwork, a comment regarding the students making a mess in the cafeteria and then you were heading towards your office. Satoru looks back, sees your retreating figure disappear into the hallway before proceeding towards Yaga’s office. He still can’t figure out where the bento boxes came from. 

You learn of Satoru’s unhealthy lifestyle shortly after you join–it’s not hard to notice when the man was never there during lunch or dinner. He was the first person in the teacher’s lounge and the last person to leave. Plus, you are certain that the man has never slept in his dorm room. 

A few weeks ago, and after a long tutoring session with Yuuji, you found yourself packing your things and getting ready to head back to your room at 2AM. As you were locking your office, you hear rustling coming from Satoru’s office and see that the lights were still on and the man could be heard mumbling to himself something about his upcoming missions. 

“I stayed up.” He tells you at 8AM, heaving out a sigh that leaves your heart tightening and your eyebrows furrowing in concern. 

That’s bullshit. Because he was allowed to rest just as much as you and Nanami were. Your eye twitches whenever you hear him reaffirm his status as the strongest–that title was starting to irk you. 

The higher ups were full of shit and you were starting to think that the Jujutsu society was taking Gojo Satoru’s selflessness for granted. You were well aware of your lack of influence in a society where power and status mattered the most, so you chose the next best thing to do in order to remove some of the weight off of Satoru’s shoulders. 

Making bento boxes isn’t exactly complicated–however, it is time consuming and you hate doing things while half asleep. The only thing that kept you awake at 5AM while you were placing the carrot and fruit slices was the thought of Satoru going on missions with the same amount of sleep as you. Four hours to be exact. 

You prepare six bento boxes–leave the seventh one empty in case Satoru doesn’t need them and starts going to the cafeteria when he realizes the amount of free time he suddenly has. But that could only happen after you move onto the next part of your plan–which was to talk to Yaga. Your relationship with the principal wasn’t all that complicated. You respected him as your previous teacher, and he admired the fact that you came back to work for the highschool years later–even after you managed to fall into a rather peaceful lifestyle, away from curses and the constant fear of getting killed on a mission. When you approach him with the idea of taking on missions for the strongest–it is only natural for the older man to reject.

“Do you realize how dangerous it is?”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here and confidently asking you to let me do it instead of him.”

“What would you get out of it?”

“Is it bad that I care for him?” 

How couldn’t he have noticed that? How did his six eyes miss the residue of your cursed energy on the bento boxes? It is a bit too late to be asking these questions, but Satoru’s brain refuses to shut down. His six eyes, like a leaf being tossed around in the wind, were out of control. He could feel your cursed energy–but he could also feel, even smell the residue of the same curse that had attacked you earlier that day. 

Satoru doesn't know what to say as he watches Shoko bandage you up, your reflective eyes refusing to meet his own blue ones—almost as though you were ashamed that you had failed not only as a sorcerer, but as a friend as well.

SAtoru can't seem to find the right words for this situation—he wasn’t necessarily mad at you, he wasn't disappointed either—perhaps a little surprised that you had gone out of your way to do something like that. and maybe he was wondering what the motive was. what would you get out of helping him? when he didn't even know that it was you? were you just that nice to everyone else?

Were you doing it so casually? And does that make him not that special to you?

He wants to brush off the lump that forms in his throat at the thought of all of this being casual to you, not that important—that you’d do it to someone else, but he can’t. Not when his growing affection towards you was starting to get out of control and he was failing to hide his own favoritism towards you.

He wants to say that it’s only because you react to his jokes with so much passion, so much excitement—that you know he likes kukifuku and make sure that his drinks aren’t too bitter. a part of him, buried deep under a pile of unresolved personal issues and failure to recognize those who actually love him or not, wants to scream every time you pat his shoulder when he almost drifts to sleep, noticing that the strongest had failed to get the right amount of sleep yet another time. that it’s just how you are with everyone else.

That he wasn’t special.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Thankfully, Shoko chooses to step out of the room—mumbles something about this being too awkward with a cigarette between her lips—and you find yourself alone in a room with satoru gojo.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“Whether or not you’d think it’s weird.” 

“I don’t think it’s weird, just a little unusual.” Satoru admits, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his broad chest. He refuses to take off his blindfold but you know that his six eyes were staring deep into your soul.

“You care for me so openly,” he then confesses and it almost breaks your heart. He is now staring at the door, bracing himself forward so that his elbows are on his knees.

“I like you.”

The room goes silent.

You didn’t know if it was the adrenaline, or if it was your heart beating as though you were being chased by 3 bulls at once—you spill out the words and then stare wide-eyed at satoru. lips trembling, fingers shaking, you can’t bring yourself to say anything else but those three words. It was supposed to be a silly crush, I mean—who wouldn’t have a crush on him, right? and it’s not like you were the first person to ever like him but—

You were panicking. Because the silence was stretching longer and longer and longer—or perhaps it was your quickening breath and your heightened senses making you far more sensitive to things simply because you had spilled your growing feelings to the same man who was sitting frozen on his seat.

“y-you don’t have to say anything in return—“ your throat has gone dry and you wipe your tears with the back of your hand. “I just figured telling you would—I don’t know, fuck—“ your cover your hot face in shame, ears burning in embarrassment because you didn’t know what to do. The humiliation of confessing to a crush stays even as an adult, you were discovering.

“Can I talk now?” you feel a hand resting on your knee and you stare at him with teary eyes. you hear his chuckle, this hand other hand travels up to your face where he wipes your tears and strokes your cheek with his thumb.

“You just figured telling me would, what?“

“Make it easier for me to move on.”

“You want to move on from me when we haven’t even dated?” he says with a playful pout, his blindfold no longer hiding his eyes and you see that the tip of his ears was turning a beautiful shade of pink.

But it also sinks in that the strongest was also confessing to you.

Using his own words, he was letting you know that he would gladly welcome you into his arms—into his world. It would no longer be just him, this next journey would involve you and him both—embarking on a new adventure. 

“But no more going on missions for me, okay?”

2024 © all works belong to @slttygeto. do not repost, translate or steal any of my works.

[otomehonyaku]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Niconico Premium Exclusive ☽ 10th Anniversary Sadistic Radio Mini Drama Translation ☽ Fireworks by the Sea in the Otherworld

Original title: ドS吸血ラジオ ～Resurrection Night 10th Anniversary 朗読ミニドラマ～ 「あの世浜辺で見た花火」 Voiced by Midorikawa Hikaru (Ayato), Toriumi Kōsuke (Shuu), Konishi Katsuyuki (Reiji) English translation by @otomehonyaku Click here for the audio (mini drama runs from 01:10-07:20)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

This mini drama was performed live during the DL 10th anniversary event on Niconico back in 2022! During the introduction, the voice actors were talking about how happy they were to perform together again instead of alone in a recording booth, which was really wholesome. And honestly, having the three brothers fawning over you... oh my (♡´𓋰`♡) Thank you to @otomeheroines for requesting!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

01:10 [Fireworks go off in the distance.]

Ayato: These fireworks are huge! And they’re spherical! Awesome! Actually, why are they spherical? You don’t know either, do you, Pancake?

Reiji: They were invented by a famous pyrotechnician from the Edo period (1). This should be common knowledge.

Shuu: [To you:] Hey, you. Don’t act all impressed by the fireworks and tell us what’s going on here.

A: Yeah! You invited me to watch the fireworks with you. Why’re there three of us here?

[You explain the situation.]

A: Huh? You invited all three of us? I know nothing ‘bout that.

R: Me neither. [To you:] If anything, this should be attributed to your thoughtlessness. Did you just decide to invite the general public to our date?

S: This is some bullshit. If this is a quadruple date, I’ll pass. I don’t care about these children’s antics.

R: Why, Shuu, heading home already?

S: Yeah. Not only are the two of you bothering me, but the fireworks and Ayato’s yapping are so loud that I can’t hear my music at all. I’ll go home and sleep.

A: Great, that’s one rival down! And she has no eyes for Reiji, anyway. Pancake’s all mine! 

R: How regrettable, Ayato. It is quite pathetic for you to be under the impression that she chose you.

A: What? You pickin’ a fight with me?

R: Who knows? [To you:] Either way, I prepared iced tea for you. Could I interest you in drinking it with me on that hill over there?

A: Wow, Reiji, you’re just doing however the fuck you please, huh? That’s totally like you.

S: Hold on. If the two of you paid attention earlier, I haven’t said a word about letting you do with her as you please. Don’t misunderstand.

03:29 R: [To Shuu:] Well, well. I thought you were going home, but it seems as though you lust after her after all.

S: I changed my mind. Even if I tried to sleep, I’d have nothing to lay my head on if she’s not there.

R: She went through all this trouble just to watch the fireworks. There is no way she would go home with you without having properly seen them.

A: I know, right? Shuu, you know jack shit ‘bout the minds of women.

S: What? I know enough but I don’t bother telling you about it. I’ll play along with your provocations, though.

A: Well then, you’d better prepare to lose. I’ll prove to you all right here that I’m the best.

04:12 [The scene changes. The boys are going to try and appeal to you.]

Ayato: Bet you’re enjoying making us fight over you, huh, Pancake? You’ve no right to refuse me. Just be a good girl and become mine. You can tell me ‘no’ all you want, but you know full well how your body responds to my fangs.  Be honest and tell me you want me so badly it hurts. I’ll have you in ecstasy before you know it.  So choose me, Pancake.

[Ayato kisses you.]

Shuu: Heh. You have no composure at all, Ayato. What’re you doing, trying to lead her on like that? [To you:] You know you’ve been head over heels for me from the start. I won’t let you get away now. So just be a good girl and confess your love. Lose yourself in me. I’ll make you feel so good you won’t be able to think about anything else.

[Shuu kisses you.]

05:20 Reiji: [To you:] You have a strange talent for winding vampires around your finger. I’d say you are a femme fatale. I wonder how far you will go to tempt us. What does it take to satisfy you? I have lived for many, many years, and yet this is the first time someone has pulled at my heartstrings like this. However, I am not used to being at the receiving end of such temptation.  I shall have you at my mercy next. 

[Reiji kisses you.]

05:56 A: Hah. You’re both way too subtle. I’m the clear winner!

S: Come on. There’s no way she’ll be swayed by such childish words. It’s clear that she’s going to choose me.

R: She cannot make a proper choice if you keep pressing her like this. 

[To you:] Please, answer according to your true feelings.

A: [To you:] You can’t live without me, and I’m no good without you either. You know that, right?

S: [To you:] You’re at fault for making me crazy about you. You’ll be a good girl and take responsibility, won’t you?

R: [To you:] I cannot accept any other outcome than you ditching those two for me. We have spent so much time in each other’s company. Does that not count for anything?

A: It’s Yours Truly, right?

S: You choose me, right?

R: I am the only viable option.

[You make a run for it.]

06:50 A: Huh? She’s running away!  Hey! Slow down, Pancake!

S: Don’t think you’ll get away after leading me on like that.

R: Good grief. How very unladylike, running across a sandy beach like that.

[You keep running as fireworks go off in the distance…]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

(1) The Edo period is a period in Japanese history that ran from 1603 until 1868, characterised by the Tokugawa shogunate (the military government) which was centred in Edo. Edo is the former name for Tokyo, which was the de facto capital of Japan in this period as opposed to Kyoto, which was the historical seat of the Emperor (and therefore the official capital) until 1868.

[prncessjaeger]

every girl gets her wish ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

ღsyponosis: eren’s pink obsessed spoiled!gf goes to the mall!

ღan: idk this is kind of a selfship then again idk, anyways song inspo for title: every man gets his wish

ღcw: suggestive ending but that’s it.

“baby, you think this top is cute?” you held up a pink longsleeved shirt and showed it off to eren, who was currently on the phone with his co-workers talking about boring business bullshit, “hm yeah but it’s pink…again-” “so?” your lips formed a pout, knowing he might not even buy the shirt (mainly cause you already have like 3 similar ones in your closet but who’s counting?) and that saddened you deeply. “soo you should pick the grey one, goes well with those pink patricia pants right?”

“they’re called priscilla pants and i mean yeah they do, but i wanna do pink on pink though…” your pout was evident and eren knew this tactic from a mile away…but he couldn’t just keep you sad all day, so! he sighed and grabbed the shirt, adding it to the pile with all the other clothes you’ve chosen. “so i can get it?!” “just keep looking for things you want, i’ll be at the front waiting.” he walked away, clothes in hand and you smirked to yourself, knowing you got your way once again. 

once he paid for your items, you took him inside of this cute daiso like shop, and eren internally sighed before walking in, “oh my god eren! look at these cute headbands, wanna get em?” “no-.” “yes? okay, get that white basket and hold it please?” he snatched (playfully) the basket up and let you sit both headbands in there. you both browsed around the shop, grabbing anything, whether it was perfume sets, stationary sets, and other miscellaneous items. “i’m finished-and the basket’s not even that full this time, baby!” “right…” he looked down and saw the basket (which was full) and just agreed with you, wanting to keep you happy! “your total is $137.20! cash or card?” “card.” eren grabbed his card and you smirked once he tapped it against the green. “thank you for shopping here, girl! your outfit is too cute!” “thank you! yours as well!” you both left the store and immediately you grabbed the bag with the headbands in,

“eren-” “no.” whining, you ignored him trying to move his head away from you  and put the headband on him anyways,

“aww you look adorable! now, let’s go get smoothies!” he finished up his call and smiled softly at you, grabbing you hand and instead of going to the smoothie section, he took you straight into victoria’s secret. 

“oooh they have pink bralette sets and the teddy to match, grab those yoga pants eren with the pink lettering- oh my god! they have pink and grey sets!” eren picked up a few things and walked back to where you were, checking out the new scents for fall, “go try these on.”

“okay, you coming in?” he nodded, “yeah, give me a minute though.” you grinned and walked into the dressing room the worker, kira, opened for you and you checked out the cute set he picked out for you, and hastily tried it on. “eren!” “yes, my love?” “it’s on.” you could hear the scuffles from his shoes rushing to the dressing room, “lemme see it baby,” opening the door you pulled him in, not wanting anyone around you to see you in such little clothing, “soooo…?” “you look…beautiful baby, do a spin for me?” he took your hand and raised it up, twirling you around twice, “yeah, this is real nice…can’t wait to fuck you in it too-”

“eren! people can hear?!”

“so? now c’mere,” grabbing your waist, his lips connected to yours in a soft kiss, moving one hand cupping the fat of your ass cheek as he deepened the kiss, “mmh- eren, c’mon let’s buy it already?” he saw that certain glint in your pretty doe eyes and poked his tongue in his cheek,

“yeah, come one, we’re ending this mall trip a bit early today.”

ღan: boring, yawning, sloppy….lazy.

[colourstreakgryffin]

Can we get Muzan and Kokushibo discussing Muzan's very menacing bratty spoiled, daughter's behavior towards other demons with Muzan defending her every action and seeing nothing wrong with her behavior (while she torment's Douma and Hantengu in the background?)

I think it would be hilarious, thank you for considering my ask<3~

Aaaa! That’s actually really cute in a weird way! I like this idea a lot, thank you, love!

Kibutsuji Muzan- True Angel

“Lord Muzan…” Kokushibo asked softly, sat on his knees in a respectful manner as Muzan turned to his top Upper Moon and frowned slightly, annoyed as he had another duty to finish. What does he want? Muzan raises his hand without so much as a word, as a non-verbal sign that the six-eyed man can speak freely. “Lord Muzan… you need to… talk to the… young Lady” Kokushibo was planning to explain to his rather unforgiving Master about his concerns over his very menacing, spoiled, bratty daughter’s behaviours towards all the other Upper Moons

“What about my daughter, Kokushibo? I dare you to try tell me my daughter isn’t perfect” Muzan barked coldly, the second his servant mentioned his beloved daughter. How dare he think he could try tell him how to parent his daughter! Those harsh words he spat out couldn’t cut down Kokushibo’s confidence as the demon samurai muscled out a response in very little time, he was barely intimidated by his own Master. He needed to get his point across, the Upper Moons are continuously tortured by you, Muzan’s precious daughter

“I’m not… suggesting that… I just… need you to know… about what she… does to us” Muzan titled his head, displeased and annoyed but since he favoured the brother of his worst enemy severely, he was willing to hear him out. But whatever he may say will be such bullshit, he can already tell. “Okay. What is the problem, Kokushibo. Tell me” The blood reds glared, unreasonable traces of anger already rising. To him, anybody merely mentioning his daughter in a negative light is insulting her and he wouldn’t let any breathing being insult his precious love

“Have you seen… how she… treats us?” Muzan’s stroked eyebrow rose in confusion as he shakes his head no, arms crossed over his chest. What could you possibly do to the five demons coursing with his blood, a lone Hashira could not stand a chance against them. “She attacks us constantly…” Kokushibo remarked in his signature low voice, causing Muzan to be thrown back internally. Shock overflowing him, that claim is just ridiculous

“Attacks you? That’s nonsense” Muzan answered firmly and still deep in disbelief, sitting down before Kokushibo after a few seconds of thought, to meet with his hexa-eyes. Kokushibo shakes his head slowly in response without a word, his hands still curled up and laid in his lap, Muzan simply didn’t believe that his perfect princess pulls mischief and causes chaos behind his back. “She does… she treats Hantengu like… a scratching… post and treats Akaza… like a punching bag” As the two built men spoke in a rather passive-aggressive and firm aura

You laughed mischievously under her breath, your blood red eyes glaring hatefully at the whimpering, whining Upper Moon 4 laying on the floor beneath you as you raised your claws up to be seen by him. Hantengu cried out as you swiped at his face with a delighted grunt each time, blood staining your claws. The surrounding Upper Moons all reacted differently to you targeting one of their fellow Moons, most wanted to get away

Gyokko immediately dropped into the safety of his ceramic pot at the mere sight of you, as Akaza flinched in horror at you, shuffling to the edge of the many block-like building’s roof whilst Douma chuckled at you and your mericless attacking on the poor Hantengu, slowly faning his face with his golden fan. None of the Upper Moons knew Kokushibo was trying to convince their Master that his daughter is unnecessarily attacking them, since she can totally get away with doing whatever she wants

“Are you sure she isn’t playing with them? Dokusha has different ways to play, then most kids” Muzan barked in a meaningful, honest response as he didn’t bother to move, completely interested in hearing all his Upper Moon 1’s arguments over you and your supposedly despicable behaviour to anybody, other than him. But he truly couldn’t seen what the problem is, you are harmless. None of the Upper Moons should be cowering at you, this concept sounds like delusion to him

“No… playing isn’t striking until… we bleed…” “It sounds more like you’re all too weak to handle playing with a child who has claws” “Master… She doesn’t play with… us, she hurts us” “What is the problem with her being able to hone her skills? I don’t get the problem, Kokushibo”

As the argument grew up and the voices rose, you leaped at Douma once you were done with the bleeding and pathetically sobbing Hantengu. Snatching his luxurious fan from his hand whilst you pinned him down as he chuckles at you, not even flinching at you stabbing it right though his eye. Your malicious grin spread as you purposefully twisted the impaled item in the Upper Moon 2’s socket, hoping he’d respond in any form. Their torment was your pleasure, but you hissed annoyed when Douma laughed louder and lifted a hand to pat your hair

He isn’t in pain?! How dare he mock you! You always get what you want and you want him to fear you! You hissed outloud, stamping on the fan as you kneed his stomach firmly. The closed fan dug deeper into his skill and spit out more of his disgusting red blood onto the cloor. Hantengu whimpered, shying into the nearby corner as his wounds healed whilst Akaza avoided watching the scene only a few metres besides him, trying his best to not intervene

If he were to try stop you, Muzan would have his head in a instant…

Muzan, on the other end of the gigantic marvellous open arena, didn’t even notice the way you attacked his Upper Moons as he continued to push back on every piece of evidence of your cruel bratty behaviour towards his loyal soldiers, presented by the most trustworthy man he has. Kokushibo didn’t want to give up, believing he had the most chance to convince his Master into trusting his every word he spoke about you. Muzan truly didn’t want to take his top’s remarks and he was tempted to ignore the concerns. Since his precious baby is a angel…

Why would she hurt anybody?

[catboybiologist]

Hi! I’m CatboyBiologist.

Formerly a femboy, now a trans woman just starting HRT, and a PhD student in molecular biology. I started using this online persona as a fun, shitposty way to explore gender a few years ago. I post selfies (generally sfw, but somewhat sexy, so minors and ppl who don’t like that have been warned), rambles about science, tutorials and advice from the stuff I’ve learned by being a femboy in the past, nature pictures, stuff about the ocean, my adorable grumpy little tortoise, and unsolicited opinions on random nerdy topics. Any pronouns are fine. I don’t plan to socially transition for a while, and still present as a man most of the time, so I’m used to whatever you wanna use for me (for now, I’ll update this if that changes). Please send me pictures of your pets or other cute animals in your life!

As a scientist, I’m also documenting my transition! This google sheet will be updated at least monthly. I also have additional metrics I’m keeping to myself, and pictures that go with this, but I’m not sharing them publicly yet. Keep in mind that this is just one person’s experience with HRT, and may not represent universal trends!

Adding a little something here, bc I think it was an interesting bit a writing: if you want to see me respond to a transphobe about what "biologically female" means, here's a thing I wrote about it. CW for transphobia and discussion, obviously.

Also, if any of my measurements look weird, its entirely possible I fucked up. Let me know if anything looks off!

Here’s some of my favorite pre-HRT pictures:

If you want to see more of my pre-HRT selfies, browse the “femboy” tag on my blog!

And as of this writing, I’m only 2 days after the start of HRT, so here’s a picture with my tortoise that’s technically post-HRT (but with 0 time for actual changes):

If you want to see my future post-HRT selfies, browse the “trans selfie” tag on my blog!

Also here's another really cute picture and fanart of my tortoise by @whalesharkcat:

I have affectionately given my tortoise the title of The Grumpus.

I also wrote a couple of tutorials and general vibes about being a femboy before I started HRT:

Sometimes I make shitposts of myself, I don’t take myself too seriously:

This includes the way I came out on tumblr:

And here’s an overly serious, long ramble about trans thoughts and things that I wrote shortly afterwards:

Later addition: Someone asked how I take selfies, so I wrote a quick and dirty guide with some tips on how I do so in response to their ask:

Oh yeah and apparently I was a 196 microcelebrity? I never to thought I was popular enough for that but apparently some people do 🤷‍♀️. So uh, hi 196 tags, I'm abusing you for my pinned post LOL

As for terminology, I personally do think of myself as a “man who is becoming a woman” as opposed to having always been a woman. If that doesn’t resonate with your experience, I totally get that! But that’s why I freely call pre-HRT me a femboy, while still calling post-HRT me a trans woman. I’m also keeping the blog name as CatboyBiologist for the forseeable future, because at this point, Catboy just seems like a gender neutral term to me.

I’m also trying to put together a script for a podcast regarding how studying biology influenced my perspective on sex and gender- lmk if there’s any interest in that! It’s probably gonna be way too long and indulgent but oh well.

So uh. Yeah. I don’t end these types of things well. Byeeeeee

[melefim]

Swearing in Dead Boy Detectives: Fuck

Overview:

Fuck was said a total of 90 times, in all 8 episodes and by 15 different characters.

Uses Per Episode:

Fuck is said in all 8 episodes of the show, one of only 4 words to do so.

Episode 1: 7

Episode 2: 5

Episode 3: 13

Episode 4: 5

Episode 5: 8

Episode 6: 13

Episode 7: 16

Episode 8: 23

Uses Per Character:

Fuck is said by 15 different characters, more than any other word.

Edwin: 2

Charles: 5

Crystal: 20

Jenny: 18

David: 12

Esther: 6

The Cat King: 6

Tabby Cat: 2

Calico Cat: 1

Litty: 8

Kingham: 5

Brad: 2

Hunter: 1

Twitchy Richie: 1

Girl in Crystal’s Memory 2 (Club Fight): 1

Percent of Total:

Fuck is used 90 times, which is 27.9% of cursing in the show.

Variations:

There are 7 variations of the word used in the show, with the most popular being Fuck, which was used 42 times.

Fuck: 42

Fucking: 37

Fucked-up: 7

Fucked: 1

Fucker: 1

Fuckboy: 1

Mindfuck: 1

Rankings:

Total Uses: Fuck comes in first for total uses, being said 90 times.

Number of Episodes: Fuck is one of only four curse words that is said in all 8 episodes- the others are Shit, Ass, and God.

Most Uses of a Word in a Single Episide: Fuck holds 5 of the top 11 spots.

Most Uses of a Word by a Single Character in One Episode: Fuck took the title here as well, being said 10 times by Jenny in episode 8.

Total Characters: Fuck comes in first for number of characters to say it, with 15 using it throughout the show.

It is one of only two words said by the main trio of Edwin, Charles, and Crystal, the other being Damn.

It is one of only four words said by both Edwin and Charles—the others being Damn, Bloody, and Bloody Hell.

Favorite Word: Fuck is the favorite word of 7 different characters: Jenny (18), David (12), Litty (8), The Cat King (6), Kingham (5), Tabby Cat (2), and Brad (2).

Curse Word Variations: It comes in first for most variations, with 7.

Lines:

Episode 1:

Charles: Edwin, hurry the fuck up!

David: I'll fucking gut you! (x2 while possessing Crystal)

Crystal: It's just a stupid fucking name.

Tabby Cat: Fuck you. I'm not telling you nothing about that house or the witch inside.

Crystal: So maybe he's our fucking demon now!

Edwin: Police don't know what to do with a fucking witch!

Episode 2:

Litty: Little ghost fucker!

Litty: I'm gonna tell you something, because I think you really need to hear it, okay? You should go fuck yourself.

Litty: You know what? You can take that sweater and you can shove it up your ass. Do you have any clue how powerful we are? We are fucking gods!

Kingham: You better hope we never get out of here or we are going to fuck you up, like 'brass knuckles and mace' fuck you up!

Episode 3:

Jenny: It's a super fucked-up story so I'm gonna need some coffee

Crystal: What the actual fuck?

Calico Cat: At least we don't have to go inside. This house is fucked up.

Crystal: Just what the fuck is it?

Litty: Looks like they left you behind because you fucking suck.

Litty: They're all gonna fucking die.

Litty: We were fucking kidding, can't you take a fucking joke?

Litty: Stupid fucking bitch!

Charles: I'm just sick of watching this asshole kill his family a million times for no fucking reason. Tried it your way, and it did nothing. Sod it. Let's try mine. (x2 due to time loop)

Charles: His dad was bad, Edwin. Royally fucked-up bad.

Crystal: I am done wasting my energy on your fuckboy bullshit.

Episode 4:

Jenny: Ok, so you're what? You're just, you're not gonna leave until I explain this even though it's private and go the fuck away?

Tabby Cat: Fuck off. The kid had a sardine.

Crystal: You fucked with my head, I'm gonna fuck with yours.

Charles: Every day, I'm fucking smiling.

Episode 5:

Twitchy Richie: The fuck is this?

Jenny: Oh my fuck.

Crystal: You walk around acting like the sun always shines, and then you lost your shit while beating the Night Nurse. Edwin and I are walking on eggshells around you instead of just saying 'what the actual fuck?'

Jenny: What the fuck, Maxine?

Hunter: Oh, fuck that, you whiny little bitch.

Brad: It's a fucking tragedy that we died, okay?

Brad: What the fuck does that mean?

David: I'm a demon! And I always get what I fucking want!

Episode 6:

Crystal: I want to keep this demon the fuck out.

Jenny: Just like whatever the fuck I am doing is none of yours.

Crystal: It's like he's fucking haunting me.

David: Oh no, I'm so fucking scared.

Charles: Don't listen to him Crystal, it's just some sort of a mindfuck, innit?

David: Why the fuck do you smell so weak?

David: What the fuck did you do?

Crystal: I gave up my powers, OK? I got you out of my fucking head.

David: Now, she's just another fucking terrified lump of human flesh!

Crystal: I am nothing special, So why don't you just leave me the fuck alone?

David: Did you really think that you could beat me with a fucking cricket bat?

The Cat King: Do you hear me? I will stop fucking playing nice!

Esther: Teeth Face, what the fuck?

Episode 7:

The Cat King: Why the fuck are you here?

Esther: I know you blew up Monty's spot, you little fucking snitch.

The Cat King: I don't give a fuck, OK? End of audience.

The Cat King: That was my third life, you bitch. I only get nine. Would you fuck off? Fuck!

Crystal: Fucking bullshit, like I can't help.

Crystal: God, that's fucking insane.

Jenny: Fucking kid.

Jenny: What the fuck?

David: Why the fuck would you even want that?

David: What the fuck did you do? Where are we?

David: Maybe I was just fucking with you.

David: Fuck! Fine, you got your memories back.

Jenny: What the fuck was that?

Esther: You, you.. you think that you're the only one who's ever been screwed over? You're not. I fucking deserve this!

Edwin: That is so fucking stupid, It's unbelievable!

Episode 8:

Girl in Crystal’s Memory 2 (Club Fight): Get your fucking hands off my boyfriend, you slut!

Crystal: Oh, my God. Oh, I'm a fucking awful person. Oh, God, I'm the worst.

Jenny: What the actual fuck?

Jenny: And why the ever-loving fuck is my hair braided?

Jenny: Fuck that! That is bullshit!

Jenny: No fucking way.

Kingham: "No fucking way" to you. "No fucking way" to that side braid. What the fuck is that?

Jenny: Fucking fuck!

Jenny: Screw it. I'd rather know my own life, no matter how fucked-up.

Jenny: Jesus, fuck!

Crystal: Fuck! (Esther has the boys)

Jenny: I figure a meat cleaver can cut up a witch, but what the fuck do I know anymore?

Crystal: Because whatever fucked-up little thing you have going on with Edwin, you must care about him a little.

The Cat King: Fuck me. Did you even listen to my story?

Esther: Oh my God, my own sacrificial knife? I'm impressed. But I'm not fucking around that you're also gonna patch that wall before you die too.

Esther: Who the fuck are you?

Esther: What the fuck? Hey hey hey no! What did you just do?

Jenny: God, that sounds so fucking procedural.

Crystal: I don't have to give up my new fucked-up life while I'm trying to sort out my old fucked-up life.

Notes:

Not included:

In episode 1, Crystal flips off Edwin in the malt shop.

In episode 2, Litty flips off Charles, Edwin, and Crystal with both hands, and then later Kingham and Litty both flip off Edwin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Dead Boy Detectives Swearing Posts:

Masterlist

Swearing by Episode

Swearing by Character

Swearing by Word

All Swearing Posts

And if you like lists of things like I do, you can check out my other Dead Boy Detectives ones here!

When Charles’ Shirt Colors Change

George Rextrew’s Edwin comic inspo board

Full soundtrack with timestamps

Moves, Incidents, and Cases Masterlist

First pass at finding where the songs in the score are used- full post with timestamps in progress

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

JEY RIZZO - JEY USO X Kabana Love (OC)

Request: Okay so yk how the raw before war games when they were mentioning how they needed a 5th member? Well, this universe, it’s a mixed war games so Rhea is in. Cody makes his “call” Randy and a former NXT, newly signed Keiarie or Kabana Love for her ring debut with them. Mr. Main Event takes a notice to her and tries to yk, get his game on the whole night with her.

Thank you for the request @shantinextdoor. I hope you like it 🫶🏽.

taglist: @christinabae @southerngirl41 @reci1996 @jeyusos-girl @melaninsugababy @baconeggndcheez @bemybabiibish @purplehairgawdess @jstarr86 @nbanenefrmdao @alyyaanna @arination99 @empressdede @harmshake @m3llowww @theninthwonder @leaderofthebadbitchbrigade @badbitchcentralinc @bebesobrielo @vensusworld

“Well if it isn’t Miss Kabana Love..” Kabana smirked and excused herself from her conversation with Kelani Jordan and turned around to face The American Nightmare himself. 

“Well if it isn’t Mr former executive vice president.” She shot back, laughing when he rolled his eyes. “You not down here tryna become NXT champion are you?” She asked teasingly as she pulled him into a hug. 

Cody laughed. “Nope” he said, popping the ‘p’ “got a special invitation to come down here to watch the show from Shawn”. Kaiarie nodded

“Okay well, unlike you some of us have to work. ” She smirked, patting her NXT Women’s Championship that was wrapped around her waist. “But we should get dinner after.” 

“Oh totally.” Cody said, nodding his head. “I missed you busting my balls every chance you get.” Kabana and Cody  glared at each other before breaking out into smiles. “Come find me after your match”. She gave him a thumbs up before waving as he walked away, both of them oblivious to the two sets of eyes watching them.

“The following match is scheduled for one fall and it is for the NXT women’s championship!” Kabana took a deep breath and shook out her stage fright jitters and her theme song started to blare through the performance center. 

She smiled as she appeared at the top of the stage listening to the fans chant her name as she held up her championship, her opponent in the ring already glaring daggers at her. “Making her way to the ring, from Chicago, Illinois Kabana Love!”  She entered the ring walking up to Tiffany Stratton and started talking her shit, title raised high in the air. 

Kabana smirked as the referee stepped in between them, separating them and pushing them to their respective corners. 

As soon as the bell rang the smirk was off of Kabana’s face, it was game time. It was honestly one of her better matches with her and Tiffany trading move after move, near fall after near fall and the crowd was louder than ever. 

It was now nearing the end of the match and Kabana had just got her knees up to block Tiffany’s Prettiest Moonsault Ever and was about to set her up for the Love Tap when someone jumping on the ring apron distracted her. Both Kabana and the referee looked at Dominik Mysterio in confusion. 

“Are you fucking lost?” Kabana spat at him, rolling her eyes at the dumb little smirk on his face.

“What the hell?” She heard Vic Joseph say as she was grabbed from behind. “That’s Rhea Ripley Book, what the hell is she doing here.” Before Kabana could react she was set up for the Riptide and planted firmly on the mat. Rhea rolled out of the ring and wrapped her arm around Dom’s waist as the both made their way back up the ramp, smirking at all the boos they were receiving.

Tiffany took advantage of the situation and set Kabana up for another Prettiest Moosault Ever. 

1-2-3 ding ding ding

“Here’s your winner and the NEW NXT women’s champion. Tiffany Stratton.”  Kabana laid in the ring, glaring up at the ceiling as Tiffany celebrated with her championship. 

“Bull-shit! Bull-shit!” she heard the crowd chant and she couldn’t agree more. What just happened was complete bullshit. She had never had a run in with Rhea or any of the other judgment day members, so why in the fuck did Rhea just come out here and cost her the title? 

Kabana was livid as she made her way backstage, trying to find Rhea before being told that she and Dominik were already gone from the building. “You alright?” Kabana sighed and turned to face Cody. “That was bullshit and 100 percent my fault.” Kabana narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “They approached me after they saw us talking earlier, thought I was trying to recruit you for our War Games match.”

Kabana scoffed and shook her head in disbelief. “Isn’t that fucking great. On everything I love Rhea better watch out cause she gon get hers.” She said placing a hand on her lower back as it began to ache again. “You still need a member?” Cody nodded with a hopeful look in his eyes and Kabana smirked. “Count me in then Rhodes, bitch got something coming to her.” Cody smirked and placed his hands in his suit pants pocket. Rhea had no idea of the beast she had just awoken inside of Kabana.

Monday Night Raw

Kabana smirked as she made her way through the crowd dressed in all black. It was time for Rhea to reap what she sowed. 

Rhea was leaning against the ring post laughing as Jey was getting his ass kicked by Judgement Day and Drew Mcintyre. The smirk was wiped off her face as a figure in black jumped the barricade. She looked around for security before she was knocked onto her ass by a mean right hook. 

Kabana took off her hood and glared down at Rhea. She heard the crowd roar as they recognized  her but she kept her eyes on Rhea who was backing away slowly. “Oh you done fucked up now.” Kabana snarled and as soon as Rhea tried to get up Kabana pounced, tackling her back down to the floor, throwing blow after blow. Rhea pushed Kabana off her and got to her feet only to be knocked back down by a superkick from Kabana.

“You thought you could cost me my title and there be no repercussions?” Kabana asked a knocked out Rhea. “Bitch are you dumb?” She rolled her eyes as Dom came over and helped Rhea to her feet, helping her walk over to where the rest of the team were standing. 

“I’m so happy you guys won the advantage.” She heard Cody yell into the mic as she rolled into the ring to join her team. She paced behind the men, eyes still glaring at Rhea.. “I’m so glad you have a star like Drew McIntyre with you.. Because we’re not alone.” Cody trailed off and Kabana cut her eyes over at him then at Jey who was already looking at Cody. She had heard him talking about Randy joining them but she wasn’t sure he accepted. 

“We found a sixth member. Somebody that I.. have a legacy with.” Kabana started to smirk. This War Games team was stacked and she couldn’t wait to get her hands on Rhea inside of the cage.

Survivor Series: WarGames

Kabana smiled at Adam Pierce as she handed him back his pen. She was officially a member of the Raw roster and after War Games her first order of business was taking that title away from Rhea. 

“Aww shit.” She heard somebody say from behind her. “Was that a contract I just saw you sign?” Jey Uso asked as he walked closer to her. Kabana nodded her head with a smile on her face. “Good, so that means I get to see more of you.” Kabana furrowed her eyebrows. Was he flirting with her?  “Happy you on our team tonight too. We definitely winning.” He said rubbing his hands together. 

“Are we gonna be graced with another wonderful press conference?” She asked, smirking at the way his cheeks turned a shade of pink. 

“Hell no!” He exclaimed as they started walking towards the dressing rooms. “And I put the blame all on ya boy Cody. Uce was giving me shot after shot.” He scratched the back of his neck. “It was embarrassing as hell too. I was stumbling all over my words and shit..” He trailed off with a shake of his head. 

“I thought it was kinda cute..” She said, eyeing him up and down. He looked extremely good in his War Games ring gear. The blue and camo mix looked good on him. 

“Stop flirting with my protégé Uce.” Cody came up to the two of them, wrapping his arm around Kabana’s shoulder. “You ready for tonight?” 

“Hell yeah, I’m ready to get my hands on Rhea. Stupid bitch been subbin’ me on twitter all damn week.” Kabana said, rolling her eyes and unzipping her hoodie, showing off her new ring attire. 

“Damn K.” Jey said, choking on his words as she did a slow 360 for him. 

“It’s cute right? I figured I needed something new.” Cody watched as Jey hungrily looked Kabana up and down, a slight smirk on his face. “I’ll catch up with y’all in a bit though.” she ran off an extra pep in her step feeling Jey's eyes on her. 

“Have you no shame?” Cody asked, laughing when Jey shook his head ‘no’ 

“Nah, so uh- what’s the deal with you two?” Jey asked, eyes never leaving Kabana’s frame until she rounded the corner out of his line of vision.  “You and her.. You know?” 

“Hell no!” The American Nightmare exclaimed. “Brandi would kill me.” 

“So I can..” Jey said pointing in the direction Kabana went and Cody nodded, laughing. 

“So whatchu doin after this?” Josh asked Kabana, ignoring the looks from the rest of their teammates who were locked in the cage at the top of the ramp with them. Kabana stopped her staring contest with Rhea to cut her eyes over at Jey. 

“Huh?”  

“Like after the show, you wanna go get dinner or something..” Sami and Cody startled to chuckle at the look of bewilderment on her face.” 

“Wait, you’re asking me out.. In the middle of our match.” 

“You know what they say, Carpe Diem or something like that.” He smiled, his grillz gleaming in the bright lights. 

“Jey, i’m pretty sure, it’s gonna be like 2 am once we actually get out of here.” Jey nodding then stepped out of the cage as the referee opened it. 

“Okay, then my hotel room.” He winked, “Think about it.” he pointed at her and smiled before running down to the ring to help out Seth Rollins. 

“I can’t believe i’m actually doing this.” Kabana muttered to herself as she stepped off the elevator onto the 3rd floor. She exhaled a shaky, nervous breath before knocking on the door that matched the number Jey had told her earlier before leaving the arena. 

She rolled her eyes with a chuckle as he opened the door with a wide smile. “Finally, the food was starting to get cold..” 

🫣 i hope you don't hate it. Thank you for trusting me with your request @shantinextdoor 🫶🏽`

[lustrexia]

im definitely interested in the Jude and Pablo drabble... please post it😫

tw: nsfw, size kink, hate sex, rivalry, rough oral sex, minors dni.

— “Size does matter” Jude Bellingham and Pablo Gavi

It’s probably not his fault. Not entirely, anyway, it’s just that it’s too obvious. Too noticeable.

Pablo, he means. Barcelona’s golden boy. The title didn’t mean too much to Jude, he already won that award last year, pretty easily so if his ego permitted him to admit. Madrid’s marketing did really go far long, didn’t it?

But that wasn’t really what made Jude feel bad, really. It’s Gavi’s height. And his body. And everything.

It became almost overwhelming to him when he noticed it; Pablo was really small. Hell, he could totally beat him up and the guy wouldn’t stand a chance, but that’s not what he really wants to do with him.

It’s almost funny, Jude notes. He’s so small, but so full of energy and will, it’s like his body was made of seventy percent determination and twenty percent water, albeit one or two percent of that had a little bit of poor emotional regulation.

Maybe that’s what made Gavi so endearing to half of the population. That he wore his heart on his sleeve, that he presented himself quite authentically, just as he was on the interior.

His chest too small for his big heart to fit into. It’s not saying much though, Jude snorts dryly, Gavi was really small. Wasn’t even like the guy was skinny or anything, the barcelonista stole the attention of his eyes plenty of times, his body was toned and his skin seemed just so soft.

But he wasn’t thin at all, even Pedri was way thinner than him.

Maybe he’s overthinking. Obsessed with the entire image of Pablo’s body even. He shouldn’t even be thinking about another man like that, he’s got a career and priorities that he has to take care of, like his younger brother throwing a little bit of a fit because of some girl. Or the fact that he just lost the European Championship to Spain.

He can’t. He can’t stop thinking about it. Because that’s all his male brain spits at him when he sees Pablo at the other side of the stadium, celebrating his win.

Smiling, like he ever did something to deserve that happiness.

He avoids Cole Palmer’s look when the blond straight up ignores his handshake. He’d talk about it later, when his own emotional block stops and he can start actually feeling anything other than ‘void’.

Jude walks just beside the trophy, that’s already decorated with Spain’s ugly colors, just tacky red and yellow. His steps feel heavy, even breathing is hard for him. He can sense his own lungs contracting and letting loose one again.

Losing takes the form of a bitter taste on his tongue. It’s ugly, it’s accompanied of despair and it’s everything he didn’t plan for.

It’s everything that Pablo Gavi isn’t feeling at that moment. He can almost taste the victory from the pretty boy’s mouth, and now he’s getting closer and closer. Jude feels in a trance, he can’t make something of whatever Pablo is saying at him, some bullshit about second place in Spanish, probably.

He doesn’t care. He never cared for what being a madridista meant for the blaugrana men. He’s English, he recognizes that he doesn’t feel the rivalry as his own, but he can empathize with the fear of losing, so there’s that.

And it’s so stupid, how Pablo looks at him triumphant, like this is such an important moment for him, like this means something. Like he’s Cristiano at forty with his career ending right now. He’s not. He’s a talented twenty something with lots of projection for the future. Gavi is a failure of La Masía, injured and barely walking like a normal person.

Jude is getting mad, mainly at himself for not hating the gorgeous boy that’s looking at him through his lashes, teasingly demeaning him with an adorable Spaniard accent. He should be disgusted, should push him to the green hard ground of the field.

He doesn’t. Jude looks at him in the eye, with curiosity, like he’s watching some scientific experiment with a really stupid rat lab, fixating on every move that Gavi makes.

“And you’re second! I can’t believe it! Joder, que te hemos ganado!” He says, his hazel eyes glowing in the artificial light of the stadium.

Jude feels drunk in a bad way, time is slowing down like he smoked something thirty minutes ago and Pablo’s monologue is getting slurred.

He can’t stand it. Not like this. Not with how easy he could grab Pablo’s arm and throw him around like he deserves to. Jude’s sanity is clearly disappearing, he can feel it sliding down his spine, pinching him. Gavi’s densely annoying rich boy accent doesn’t help him either.

It’s not his fault. Pablo is annoyingly pretty, and totally crushable, like some insect he can get rid off easily with the sole of his expensive sneakers. It’s childish, but the need is clearly there.

So he indulges into it, posing his big hand on the back of Pablo’s neck, pushing him to walk forcefully at his side, like they were friends; resembling a bond that was not there, just for the cameras.

He could see how Gavi tensed and changed his facial expression to something a little bit uncomfortable, his eyebrows were almost knitted to each other and his lips formed a nervous curved line.

And it was exactly as he thought so, Gavi was weaker than him, couldn’t fight or back off even he was in serious danger.

“M’sorry” Gavi said, “I was just teasing, it’s just banter, sorry”.

Fucking brat, Jude didn’t respond. He just continued to guide Gavi’s body towards the hallway of the stadium, searching for somewhere more private.

The cameras didn’t even flinch at them disappearing, the public was more focused on celebrating the win or just taking pics of the actual players on the pitch.

Jude scanned through the doors and stairs of the space, finding in some barren corner a door with the ‘storage’ sign in a foreign language. Fucking Germans and their weird wording.

He lowered his hand now that the cameras weren’t looking, placing his calloused fingers on Gavi’s waist. So tiny. Jude heard the other man’s breathing hitch almost whimper airily.

So this was affecting Pablo at the same intensity as it was affecting him. News flash. The insanity of this exclusive situation altered the cute midfielder too.

God, so maddening. He squeezes the curve of his waist, reminding him of how useless fighting back is going to be. Someone of his size couldn’t possibly get him off in a real struggle. Gavi whimpers, biting his lip.

“Whore” He whispers into Gavi’s ear, his hot air hitting him. “I’m going to break you in half”.

He’s almost sure Gavi is pretty entitled and possibly did refuse to learn English in the past, but he can see that he understood what Jude told him right there. His face, now totally bewildered, exploded in pretty pink colors. He was blushing.

They entered the storage room, it was small, closet-like, just enough space for the two of them to breathe in each other’s faces. He pushed Gavi’s body towards the cold surface of some shelf, looking down at him, noticing just how frail he really was.

It made him so hungry. Like he was king starved and now there was a big plate of his favorite meal in front of him, just waiting to be sexually cannibalized on. The air hung heavy on them, the realization of what they were really going to do was now crawling under their skins.

He pushed through it, through whatever this meant for Pablo. It wasn’t his place to care for it, he just had an itch he needed to scratch badly.

“Take your jersey off” he commanded to him, already pissed off at how red looked amazing on Gavi.

White would look more elegant. More classy.

Gavi did, he took off the garment, not breaking eye contact if possible. Venomous.

Jude aggressively took his own jersey off and grabbed Gavi’s neck with just one hand. His long fingers made a good collar for the barcelonista’s neck, pressing lightly. Pablo moaned, his eyes half closed, full of incomprehensible lust.

“Put it on, quickly”.

He released his grip on Pablo’s neck and threw the shirt at him, watched how Gavi’s pathetically small hands trembled while putting the piece of clothing on.

Holy shit.

“¿Qué?” Oh, maybe Jude said that out loud.

“Nothing,” Jude went back to his stoic look, “White looks good on you”.

Pablo’s look, full of empty hatred fueled his own lust. Culé at heart dressed in white. Humiliation must be burning in his stomach.

But Pablo was hard, the tent of his shorts showed him just that. Was he really into the whole being the bitch of a madrid player thing? That was a new low, it made Jude smile.

Gavi was just as pitiable as he thought. Could bark and try to bite as many times as he wanted to, that wouldn’t change the fact that he’s weak in physicality, biologically inferior.

“Get on your knees”.

Jude didn’t wait for Gavi to move, he shoved him down, using little force. Pablo’s little prince hairstyle was now messy, his curls running wild because of the new hot boiling temperature. He was sure Gavi could feel how warm his bulge felt, even when his face was pressed against it with shorts on.

He couldn’t possibly get harder, the view was amazing, Pablo’s face length matched the length of his clothed dick, that Gavi was caressing with his cheek.

“You’re so big, joder, qué pollón” Gavi whispered, and for some reason, Jude thought that would probably be the dirtiest thing that someone could ever be able to say in Spanish.

Goosebumps ran all through his pelvis, electricity burning high. Not wanting to wait any longer, he pulled down his shorts and boxers, his cock jumping back lewdly to his stomach hung heavy.

It’d be impossible for Pablo to take it all in. It was probably like nine inches. Almost as long as his face. He compared the size of his cock to Gavi, pleasantly surprised about how pliant the man was being with someone who was spreading pre cum on his nose and cheek.

“Yeah, fuck that’s it, lick it. That’s what you want, right? Some good dick to keep you calm” He groaned, rubbing the fat tip of his cock into Gavi’s mouth.

Pablo gave his dick kitten licks, almost scared of the girth. It was so thick, Pablo would have to open his mouth completely to take it in.

Jude was not a patient man with people he hooked up with. He opened the other’s lips with his middle finger, forcing him to suck on the metaphorically offensive digit. Once he got tired of the sight of Gavi’s little mouth struggling, he lined up his cock with his mouth, grabbing Pablo by the back of his head.

There was no running back now.

Not when Pablo had his shirt on, looking absolutely oversized on him, with a hard on between his legs just by the proposition of sucking some madridista off in a storage closet.

Slut.

“Wait, no, it’s not going to fi-” Gavi choked on his cock, closed his eyes and tried to get Jude to back off.

He couldn’t. Bellingham was already fucking his mouth now.

Pablo’s mouth was hot and wet, his tongue laid flat at the bottom, just taking that dick like he could. His lips were made thicker rounding the thick girth of him, stretching his jaw painfully.

Jude sighed blissfully, the tight feeling felt amazing for him, like he was consumed by a pool of wet heat. Inch by inch, he pushed his cock inside, deeper and deeper, totally fixated on how overwhelmed Pablo appeared below him.

Where he belonged.

Pablo’s little hands rested on his thighs, trying to push him back. Didn’t work, he was already swinging his hips back and forward, chasing the high of Gavi’s mouth.

Gavi was gagging, making choked sounds every second, and his eyes were crossing towards his the bridge of his nose, disassociating a little.

Was he passing out? Jude could not care less. Maybe he’d use his mouth better that way. He looked dumb and out of it regardless.

But now that Gavi’s characteristically present strength was just shining by its absence, Bellingham could force him to deep throat, feeling his nose brush against his lower stomach, making it even harder for him to breathe.

Jude fucked his mouth roughly then, not pulling more than one inch out of his mouth, content on how Gavi’s uvula grazed his cock. The back of his throat felt amazing.

Gavi was struggling, trying to pull back, but Jude didn’t let him, cupping the back of his head forward with his arm.

“Take it, shit, don’t fucking pull back, yes, that’s it, good boy” He praised when Pablo stopped moving his head back.

Tears were forming in Pablo’s eyes. But he didn’t look sad, his honeyed eyes were full of lust, apparently he did have a thing for praise.

Something hot boiled inside of Jude exponentially, growing more and more, tensing the elastic until it was just about to snap.

He was so close. Gavi was now looking up at him, wet lashes, face dirty with pre cum and drool, tears too.

Every time Pablo moaned the vibrations went to his dick, stimulating him more and more. He wasn’t fighting anymore, his arms, like some sex doll, went down, letting Jude do whatever he wanted with his mouth.

Jude let out a grunt, rapidly increasing the rhythm of his hips moving, just abusing Gavi’s mouth. Pablo’s gagging sounds echoed on the walls, lewd symphony that Jude loved.

Loved how this was the right sequence of events that should happen. This was what he needed. To remind Pablo what he was really useful for, instead of some stupid tournament where he didn’t even play.

So, so close, he could almost taste the glory that was robbed out of him before on the pitch.

Jude Bellingham felt his orgasm all through his body and right out of his dick, felt how the cum spilled out of him in the most intense way that he ever experienced. The elastic band snapping inside of him, leaving his legs feeling like jelly.

He rode his climax with his cock bottomed out in Gavi’s mouth, his cum spilling right inside of his throat.

He quickly pulled out of Pablo, letting him finally breathe. The blaugrana player coughed roughly, almost throwing up all of the cum that he had inside of his stomach now, hands resting on the ground, not looking at him. Still coughing, tears came out of his eyes, Gavi was crying.

“Thank you, thank you, mnh” Pablo tried to say, his voice was completely destroyed and he was still almost about to vomit. He didn’t, he swallowed most of Jude’s cum back.

Pablo was a mess, his face full of fluids, puffy eyes and a fucked out expression, he was totally out of it.

Jude pulled his pants back up, grabbed a pen that was on the shelf and wrote his phone number on Gavi’s arm.

He took Pablo’s Spain jersey, put it on, and left him, to be found in that state.

(…)

A/N — Hi! I hope you liked this! I usually don’t write a lot in English because I don’t feel confident enough so I’m really hoping that this felt natural! If you have any feedback please let me know <3

[bitterbutblue]

What if i request Robin x Fem!Reader where Robin felt a bit pressured from the media and as her beloved girlfriend you help her relief stress :33

It can be fluff or smut, i dont rlly care i just want more Robinnn content :333

Thank you in advance!!!

Also can i be 🍷 anon? :3

you're not bad, but rather good ☆ robin x fem!reader

~ omg hi!!!! ur my first anon this is so exciting.... i don't do smut but i can totally do fluff.. anything 4 u <3

gonna start naming out the song lyrics i've been using as titles

loveable ~ jo yuri <3 ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

Robin's recent comeback- a miserable failure.

Robin's new EP 'Welcome To My World' has been nothing but a colossal failure. With each new album, Robin continues to disappoint- fans are sick of her low effort songs and lack of stage presence. Her comeback stage shows her clearly lack of passion. Just because she has made a name for herself does not mean she can now slack off on stage when fans pay thousands to see her-

You closed the article before you finished reading it. If you continued, you probably would've ended up throwing your phone across the room or do something along the lines of that sort of stupidity that you would end up regretting later. That article was like a knife through the heart for Robin but for you it was a knife through the author's decaying and bleeding out body as you stab that fucker over and over again. Okay, maybe that was too violent but fuck you can't stand to see people say such bullshit about your girlfriend. She called you at work, crying and saying she couldn't do it anymore. You could barely make out her words through her sobs and the bad signal (which led you to believe she was hiding in the bathroom).

"I worked so hard, I don't know what they want from me. I can't-"

"Robin, baby, deep breaths- okay? I'm right here, it's okay."

It infuriates you, how people can run their mouths and say whatever bullshit that comes to their mind just because they're not satisfied with their own miserable lives. Just because they feel like dragging someone down would perhaps make themselves feel better about the fact that someone half their age is more successful than they will ever be. You want to tell her that you'll fucking find them and make their life a living hell but that's definitely not what she wants to hear right now.

"What do they want from me? I'm so tired, I don't wanna do this anymore."

All you really could do was continue to comfort her, hoping that she can pick up what you're saying through the static and cut offs due to bad internet. You just stayed with her until her cries became sniffles and she stated that she has to go before they suspect anything. You swallowed back your worry and just nodded.

"Okay. I love you, Robin.

You can feel her smile from across the phone.

"I love you."

That night you spent the entire evening in the kitchen, prancing around and trying not to burn the eight things you have going on the stove as you flip through your phone to find that recipe for the thing in the oven that looks horrifically bad.

"Ah fuck..."

You check the time- 8:03, she should be back soon. You finally find the recipe page and you feel your heart drop. Fuck, you were supposed to bake it for 30 minutes- not 50! No wonder that shit looked so wrong! You scramble to pull it out of the oven, the timer with 5 minutes left. You groan when you see how it looks- first it looked wrong and now it was probably burnt too. So much for making your girlfriend's favourite dessert.

"Love?"

The soft voice startles you, yelping as you dropped the cake pan.

"Shit!"

Robin stands there in all her glory. She looks exhausted, eye bags worse than before and shoulders sagged but to you she was still the most beautiful woman you have ever laid your eyes on.

"Everything okay?"

She tries to smile at you but it looks so forced. You feel your heart clenching in your chest as you pick up the cake pan from the ground, moving it back onto the counter.

"Baby, just let me take care of you tonight?"

You pull her in close, hugging her tight. She freezes at first, before completely melting in your grasp. She lets out a shaky sigh as she buries her head in the crook of your neck.

"I missed you."

Her voice is muffled against your shoulder but you just smile as you tiptoe to press a kiss to her forehead.

"I missed you so much, baby." You pull away, cupping her face with your hands as you brush your thumb against her cheek. "You look beautiful."

"Don't lie."

She gets flustered so easily, face turning pink as she looks away but she can't stop the small smile from forming on her face.

"I'm not. You look beautiful."

She sighs as she looks back at you, and the tired expression on your usual warm and happy girlfriend really does hurt you. The way the media can tear people down into nothing but the most insecure parts of themselves has always rubbed the wrong way with you but watching it happen to the one you love most is absolutely heartbreaking.

"I made you dinner?"

"I saw."

Her smile is not as forced now as she looks around the kitchen, a soft giggle escaping her lips.

"Quite a mess you made."

You just shoot an embarrassed grin at her as you tried to hide the cake pan behind your back.

"Well, I'm not a good cook."

"I think you did amazing."

She steps forward, caging you between the counter and herself.

"You make the worst days brighter, you know?"

"You make each of my days better. It's only fair I do the same to you."

Robin looks down, playing with her hands.

"I don't deserve you."

"Oh shut up."

The kiss was soft, gentle and loving. She cups your cheeks as she steps closer, bodies pressed against each other as you pour all the love you can convey through a simple act.

"I love you. I really love you so much, Robin." You say breathlessly to her when you pull away. She doesn't say much, only resting her head on your shoulder as she takes your hand into her own, lacing your fingers together.

"And I'm so proud of you for your new comeback. You've worked so hard and it paid off. You keep outdoing yourself and the people who don't see that can fuck off and die."

She sighs.

"No need for the violence, yeah?"

"Violence is always the answer."

You feel your heart flutter when she lets out a soft laugh, like a songbird's first melody of a new spring.

"You do whatever you want." She says, resting a hand on your chest as she leans in to press a quick but soft kiss to your lips. "Thank you- for this."

"Always."

The food you cooked was mostly inedible- resorting to the two of you ordering takeout together but you couldn't care less about the burnt cakes or undercooked mac and cheese. Robin is smiling again, and that's all you wanted to achieve for the night.

Response to: Robin's recent comeback- a miserable failure.

Robinsdog: op do u not have a life

servallandau_official: No one thinks this.

⤷ talesofthewinterlandsfan222: serval spitting facts but also what r u diong here

⤷ servallandau_official: Do I know you?

⤷ talesofthewinterlandsfan222: ENEVRMIND

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[tanoraqui]

I didn’t mini-liveblog The Golden Enclaves like the others, so here are my key thoughts:

what ORPHEUS & EURYDICE BULLSHIT—

Gwen Higgins MVP

at some point in her youth, Liesel watched the s6 finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, specifically the scene where Xander talks Dark Willow down from destroying the world with a heartfelt monologue about friendship and a symbolic yellow crayon, and thought, “Yeah, that could be me!”, and I love that for her. Get this woman a yellow crayon.

I can’t find it now but I saw a poll asking what your top ugly sobbing moment for these books was, so let the record note that mine was, “He would have taken you up the mountain and holding you in his arms, leapt.”

I was totally comfortable with El in ratty, unwashed clothes in the Scholomance itself, but now that she’s out, I DO keep involuntarily imagining her dressed as her honored inspiration Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.

Orion gets to stay at the school that he and he alone loved his time at, and protect all the magical children of the world…there are going to be students, starting with the freshmen class they already saved, whose only experience of the Scholomance includes the fierce guardianship of Orion and El… 🥹 😭 ❤️ I hope he gets some lame but appropriate and punny title like “Custodian.”

[burr-ell]

On the subject of Vex's flaws, I think it's interesting to compare and contrast the conversations she has first with Vax and then with Percy in 1x63. Right before the episode break, Vax goes to Vex to talk to her about the title Percy gave her and tells her that while he appreciates that it made her happy, to him it's like "gilding a lily" and that she's "already perfect" to him. She insists her strength is an act and he immediately replies "bullshit".

Immediately after the break, Vex seeks out Percy, and thanks him for the title and tells him how much it meant to her that he took up for her that way. Percy says a title is "mostly there to remind you you don't really need it" and "it doesn't change anything", and they have a brief discussion about the logistics of what her title means. He teases her that "I imagine you're eventually going to become very insufferable" but then adds that "you have to be".

Now on its face it seems like Percy's saying the same thing Vax is! But there are a couple of crucial differences. For one thing, the comments Percy makes about her becoming "insufferable" (and then that actually she should be) are clearly playful, but it's also an acknowledgment that she can be exasperating. Lighthearted it may be, but it tells Vex that Percy's not afraid of her flaws or put off by the ways she could potentially be annoying. For another, he openly admits that she doesn't actually have any land—the land isn't his to give; it's Cassandra's, as the actual ruler of the city. Percy's promising her what he CAN give her, with an honest explanation of what that is. Like with the come-from-money conversation, he's being both kind and objective. It's at this point where he says a title "doesn't change anything", and I think that allows Vex to see his gesture for the totality of what it is and make her own choice about what she does with it. It's like the arrows; he's giving her the tools to forge her own path, trusting her judgment.

Now I'm not at all hating on Vax here, but I do think Vex's conversation with him revealed some flaws in their relationship. Vax only emphasizes how Vex is cool and strong, and when Vex directly states that it's an act, Vax dismisses this and says he needs her to keep being strong. And he clearly means well! But it's a fascinating choice from Laura to go from that conversation and then talk to Percy the first chance she gets, and one of the things that says is that Vex does not trust Vax's judgment of her in that moment. He's her brother, and he just explicitly said she's perfect! Vex has, by this point, started to see her own flaws clearly enough that just telling her how amazing she is doesn't address the issue, and she's less inclined to trust the opinion of someone who does it. She wants to know that someone can see her flaws, assess her honestly, and still love her.

And the conversation with Percy shows Vex someone who looks at her and sees through her, who has seen and done terrible things and is clever and pragmatic and ruthless, someone who does his best to evaluate a situation as objectively as possible and someone who's striving every day to become better. And that person trusts her, wants to see her succeed, and gives her everything he can to make that happen.

[planefood]

I’ll probably reformat this once I have access to my laptop but:

Super big character introductory post (that I worked super hard on!!!) id love if you’d take the time to read this and interact :)

Without further or do

Tandy:

The title protagonist of the story. Almost everything happens through his point of view and is often skewed by his own personal beliefs and perspective. Living most of his life exclusively around humans he’s still getting used to being around other robots.

Tandy works as a freelance computer repairman and helps robots fix up some of their issues on the side as well, like an off market robot doctor. He takes his work incredibly seriously to the point it affects his social life.

Although he is described as generally likeable by others for the most part, he’s quite clever and has a strong “take no bullshit” attitude towards everything. But he’s incredibly insecure about himself as well as being quite egotistical which can often come out and hurt others. He has a very black and white perspective of the world that affects how other characters will be perceived sometimes.

Max:

The first robot Tandy gets to meet when Tandy catches Max in a small robot get together when Tandy moves cities. Max was impressed by Tandy’s knowledge around computers and Tandy was totally absorbed by Max’s infectious personality.

Max comes across as very carefree and charming. He doesn’t talk a whole lot but when he does it comes out in oddly poetic short sentences, sometimes to the humour of the people around him. Max also tends to take the time to look after people around him and in turn he’s very idolised by the people close to him. But the time Max spends on other people and despite so many people adoring him, Max doesn’t take the time to look after his own personal issues leading Max to blow up at people if he gets too stressed. Despite all the people he tries to surround himself in he finds himself feeling incredibly alone.

Mikey:

Mikey had a pretty rough early life, which has caused him to be very self isolated. He struggles with extreme anxiety which just isolates him further, he can never seem to click with people, even other robots. A lot of people view him as unpleasant to be around. He’s self-deprecating and makes uncomfortable jokes about his own bad mental health, often taking it to extremes that would kill any conversation he was in. Jokes he makes that aren’t putting himself down don’t ever seem to land either. He doesn’t take good care of himself either which leads to him smelling not the best.

In reality he just needs a lot of support and space to heal. He’s working with what he has and is trying his best. Max wants to support Mikey and cares about him a lot but gets ferociously overprotective sometimes which can put more strain on Mikey’s chance to form his own relationships.

Sierra:

Built and raised in New South Wales, Australia. Looking for more opportunities she found herself moving to New Zealand with her other robot coworker, Newton, working for a tax firm. This is where she eventually met Tandy who was hired to fix an issue with one of her computers.

Sierra was growing ever more resentful of her human adversaries, she was starting to admit she hated all humans (and most animals by proxy) all she had by her side was Newton who she wasn’t particularly fond of by this point either. Tandy felt like a breath of fresh air and an opportunity for Sierra to stop having to interact with humans as much and kinda followed him around ever since.

Sierra comes across as very snobbish. She’s judgemental and easy to irritate. She’s quick to speak out about her hatred of certain things (like humans, children and by extension dogs) which upsets people around her. She speaks with a flat affect that makes her sound even more robotic than she’s meant to, which can make her constantly sound sarcastic and mean even if unintentionally. Unlike a lot of robots, her and Max do not get along at all.

Jay:

While looking for more robot friendly apartments, Jay was directed by her close friend, Phillip to Tandy. From then on they became roommates. Unfortunately Tandy and Jay didn’t get along at all. Jay is furiously headstrong and brutally honest to a fault even if they have the best intentions in mind. Tandy being quite egotistical and struggling to take criticism even at the best of times, Jay's brutal honesty can come across to him as personal attacks. Jay and Tandy mix like oil and water and every conversation they try to have usually ends in an argument. Much to Tandy’s dismay, Max and Jay get along great.

Lithium:

Tandy may have trouble getting along with some people but Lithium is the only person Tandy could wholeheartedly say he truly dislikes. Lithium, not unlike Tandy, is incredibly self absorbed. Lithium has a large sense of grandeur. They love to make others feel as though they’re not as socially conscious and intelligent as they are. Lithium also has a very short temper and will quickly snap and yell at people around him to give him a heightened sense of importance. People would be ‘simply lost without him!’ in his mind. Tandy struggles to understand why Max chose to befriend him. Though he’d never admit it, Lithium and Tandy have a lot more in common than Tandy would like to hope.

Sonnet:

The smallest robot Tandy has ever met, yet she commands so much respect from those around her. Sonnet has a very bubbly personality and seems to break into a little dance as often as she can because she's so full of energy. But Tandy learnt Sonnet can be serious when she needs to be and everyone listens to her when she wants to be heard. To everyone's shock she and Lithium hit it off romantically. One would assume the size similarities would make it easier for something like that to happen, but for someone so likeable to fall for someone like Lithium had everyone scratching their heads. Maybe it might do Lithium some good.

Phillip:

Max’s long term roommate and the one who keeps everything in order. Phillip is a reserved and well organised robot who Tandy barely ever catches an opportunity to speak to. Almost always working or stuffed up in his room practising his music. Phillip considers himself best friends with Max and Jay. But understands they probably don’t feel the same way about him. Phillip often gets quite upset at the notion that people don’t seem to care about him compared to other people, he always feels like the “friend of a friend”. He feels underappreciated in the work he does mediating others and keeping a roof over their heads by working multiple jobs. He wishes deep down he could build up the courage to tell everyone how he feels.

Phillip is always eager to duet with the other musically talented robot, Jay, when he gets the chance as well.

Newton:

Newton and Sierra were both built in Australia for the same company, for the same purpose. But unlike Sierra, Newton loved all the work he did and was incredibly loyal and devoted to anything he sets his heart out to.

But his heart was also devoted to Sierra, he’s head over heels obsessed with her to this day and has been for decades. Sierra was the only other robot Newton knew and when Sierra told him her plans to move to New Zealand he wasted no time in dropping everything to move with her. He felt betrayed when Sierra started paying more and more attention to another robot, Tandy. He grew incredibly jealous of Tandy as well as harbouring a deep hatred for him. Newton has heightened emotions which would typically mean he was very happy go lucky, but Tandy flipped a switch in him for the worse. Newton now vows to do anything in his power to win Sierra back from Tandy. Tandy on the other hand, is barely even aware of Newton's existence outside of what Sierra has said about him and the short conversations they’ve had.

Vicki:

Vicki was built in Cape Town, South Africa with a strong passion for teaching. She studied to be an English teacher, working extremely hard to be the best teacher she could. But what Vicki had in determination she lacked in backbone. She had a very thin skin and struggled to keep her emotions under check when working with particularly difficult students. Her tendency to get easily upset in high stress situations relegated her to the role of “easy to bully substitute teacher”. Vicki, feeling trapped, decided to move to New Zealand for a fresh start in a country she felt would be more mellow. Unfortunately for her, middle schoolers are terrible to deal with no matter where you are. She knows other robots through local robot support groups and lavishes every chance she gets to talk to fellow robots.

Scorpion:

Scorpion is a bit of a lonewolf, she has a short patience with people whether they’re robot or human and prefers to be left by herself. But she attracts a lot of attention from other robots because she’s perceived as being “really cool”. Two robots, Jay and Vicki, fight for her attention constantly, much to Scorpion’s chagrin. She’d much rather socialise on her own terms and hers alone.

Scorpion is one of the only robots whose talents lie in art and painting. Graffiti tagging is her preferred art form. Sometimes she’ll be commissioned to paint murals around the place but otherwise just picks up odd jobs around the place and keeps to herself. She’s quite the mysterious figure to Tandy. Darwin:

Darwin was built in Tokyo, Japan, before shortly moving to New Zealand. They were intrigued by the opportunities available to them as a robot in the country compared to Japan. Darwin’s main goal in its life was to help other people. The first and most obvious answer to them was to take up studying medicine. Darwin studied to the best of their ability and eventually got a job as a nurse in Auckland Hospital. Darwin's dream was to become a surgeon, but there was still a lot of doubt from humans on a robot doing their surgery. Darwin, instead, was encouraged to work with people with infectious diseases as a nurse. Going into nursing around the pandemic having a nurse that was immune to human diseases was the perfect fit. Darwin now finds itself overworked and stressed. Darwin barely has time to interact with anyone let alone other robots. But on occasion will have robots coming into ER where Darwin is first to point them where to go.

Florence:

A tall, neon coloured, full blooded American robot. Florence is the only robot so far who actively dislikes the company of other robots. She much prefers to view herself as a human and interact exclusively with humans. She has a short patience for her robot peers and low sympathy for any struggles they might face. She’s seen hanging around a human named Randy near constantly. Aside from her physical attributes, her thick accent and attitude really makes her stand out against other robots as is. She’s got a lot of charisma one will admit. She’s quite cunning if not sleazy. Tandy isn’t sure why she acts the way she does and wonders what might’ve caused it. Cathy:

Like Mikey, Cathy had a tough life leading up to where she is now. Growing up in the outskirts of a city in the other regions before moving to Auckland. She has an extreme phobia of humans that causes her severe anxiety and paranoia. She’s jumpy and skittish in the company of any human but very calm and intelligent in the presence of robots. She’s the founder of the local robot group that a lot of the characters met each other in. Tandy doesn’t know much about her as she rarely speaks about her personal life.