#toxic study trait | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

batfamenjoyer · 3 months ago

Text

Relationship headcanons for the batfam!

Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain

Sorry for no Barbara, Steph, or Duke ☹️ love them but I honestly just don’t know them well enough

Sorry if some of these aren’t the greatest, I feel more strongly about some characters over the others so I don’t have many head canons.oh also also might be out of character ofc, these are just my personal headcanons of how I see the characters. Also sorry if this is a bit messy I didn’t edit the best :)

——————————————————————————————————

Bruce Wayne

This man has been through a lot so I feel like to truly get close to him would be difficult, especially considering he is Batman.

he needs a stable healthy relationship oh my god, yes he enjoys the chase of those hard to get but for his own sake he needs to settle down.

he’s definitely scared of losing you, he’s lost so many people in his life in one way or another.

I feel like he is one to get nightmares at night about losing you or other people. After waking up your comfort is everything to him, and if you don’t wake up at him startling awake he won’t disturb you and will just study your features the best he can in the moonlight before sleep grasps him once again.

Love language is a mix of gift giving and affection!

Always loves to have a hand on your waist, if he ever takes you to one of the gala’s he has to go to he is stuck to you like glue. Once he’s settled with you he doesn’t want women fawning over him, he wants to give the signal that his heart is yours.

Showers you in so many kisses when no one else is around, seems like a hard ass but he’s a softie for you. It makes the bat family happy to see that for him.

Onto gift giving though!!!! He’s a very busy man so he unfortunately cannot be around all the time but he always makes sure to send you little gifts to let you know you’re on his mind.

If you like expensive gifts then he’ll give you expensive gifts but truly he just wants to give you little things that will make you happy, he wants to save the big gifts for important days!

A toxic trait of his is that when he gets hurt and upset he tends to distance himself from you even though you’re there for him. After a while of talking him through it everytime it happens he starts to stop and open up to you more and more.

Dick Grayson!!!

Dick is a bit of a man hoe and has dated many people before you. Hopefully when he finally got with you though he’s matured a lot more and won’t leave you after a while just to date another girl.

If not it’s probably a complicated on and off relationship ☹️ don’t want that for you tho.

For him to settle down with you you’d likely need to be someone who’s like his anchor, able to hold your own and on the more mentally stable side.

You in no way need to be perfect though, he will love you all the same and will do his best to help you.

Speaking of helping, he’s got eldest sibling syndrome. He is STRESSED as he carries the weight of his family and the name of nightwing. He truly loves his family and try’s his best to be there for them but it runs him thin. This does mean he can be a lot snappy sometimes cause he’s not good at actually expressing his emotions so it comes out in bursts.

But for him having that eldest sibling syndrome, support him cause he really needs it, he may seem all happy but it’s usually hiding something.

Back to him being snappy tho is that he has a tendency to not let you know he has any problem with you and will act completely fine and then make some snarky remark which was clearly personal about some thing you did. It’s always uncalled for and happens when his temperament is running thin.

The more he starts to get it in his head though that he doesn’t need to perform being okay all the time he very much improves.

His love language is words of affirmation!

He likes reassuring you, supporting you, and saying sweet things to you. He also loves being reassured, told it’s okay, and being told sweet things, please give him words of affirmation he needs it.

Come up to him randomly and praise him about how well he’s been hiding stuff together lately, that you love him, and are there for him if he ever needs anything? His heart is melted.

If y’all share an apartment it’s routine to leave sticky notes around for eachother.

Onto affection tho, He absolutely will be affectionate to you in front of other people and he absolutely does not care about the teasing of his family, he owns that shit.

If he gets forced to a gala he is dragging you along so he doesn’t end himself. Love hates the attention of other women fawning over him, he’s an attention whore so a part of him loves it but the other part of him gets pissed because he is taken to a lovely you.

That is another flaw of Dick though, he loves attention a bit too much so hopefully you’re not a jealous type? He would never cheat and he absolutely isn’t tolerating any disrespect on your name, he just like when people pay attention to him.

Jason Todd ☺️

I like the idea of Jason with a nurse reader, or at least one well experienced in first aid.

Almost every night he comes home to his cold grimy apartment to patch himself up but once he has you in his like he’s able to come to your warm home to be patched up.

It’d take him getting gravely injured for him to allow you to help him in the first place but after that he starts to come to you to help him, even if it’s not necessary, he just wants to see you.

He has so many walls built up that will need to be taken down. He has a lot of fears that what he does will get you hurt, he’s also just not much of a people person. But if you are able to protect yourself decently well and install some good ass security it’ll put his mind at ease.

He will then constantly fuck with your security to prove it’s not secure enough and then try to make it more secure. After a certain point it is just more of him trying to find an excuse to be around you.

Please reassure him that he can come to you whenever and he doesn’t need a reason to at all. Also give him keys and beg him to stop breaking in. He will still occasionally break in though.

Refuses to introduce you to his family for a long time. They do still find out about for after some point and they will be running many background checks on you, they are a family of detectives after all.

The bat fam teases him very hard about you if given the chance, Tim and Steph are the worst, Damian is in disbelief anyone would even date Jason, Dick and Barbara usually keeps their mouths shut with possible light teasing. Cass and Duke are supportive though!

His love language is acts of service and affection.

He will fix anything you need fixed if needed. Your sink is leaking? Easy he’s fixed that like nothing. Need to to put together furniture but you don’t feel like putting it together? He will put that together in a heartbeat. Parts in your car need to be replaced? Absolutely he’s doing that 10x better than any person you’d pay for but for free.

Well not completely for free though, he’ll want all the cuddles, kisses, and all the affection now, not even in a sexual way most of the time, he wants sweet affection a lot of the time.

He’s almost always very gentle with you despite his rough exterior and personality. He always looks at you so sweetly and has a habit of brushing your hair out of your face and fixing your hair anytime something is astray.

After a while he basically just lives at your place as his place is a shit shack that he sucks at up keeping, he’ll keep your place clean though don’t worry.

Has a tendency to sleep on your couch a lot. He always gets back late and doesn’t want to wake you, also sometimes he’s smelly and gross but too tired to shower when he gets back so he just shuns himself to your couch and showers whenever he wakes up. That’s usually when you wake him up at some point mid day and go make him shower.

Not big on PDA but sometimes he’ll walk with you with a hand on your waist or holding your hand. Especially likes to hold your hand if sitting next to you and will rub his thumb atop you hand.

Tim drake (love my Bi Icon)

He loves cuddles. Tim is often consumed in work and running off so much caffeine and once he crashes and sleeps he’s cuddling with you if available and he’s OUT. Hair messy, sprawled out over you, and drooling. Be ready to be stuck there. It’s okay though because he’s absolutely adorable, messy hair galore.

Vibes heavy with working on things alongside eachother. He’s okay with just being in your presence as he works on what he needs to work on.

He may be hella smart and a great detective but when you guys first start dating he becomes an awkward nervous wreck who suddenly second guesses all abilities to read you. Like what if you secretly hate him? Or think that he’s weird?? What if he’s being to much???

He levels out after a while and is normal again don’t worry, he just gets way to nervous at first.

His love language is words of affirmation. He’ll leave you sticky notes and little cards all the time. Either it’s in your laptop or notebook that you find after you two were just hanging out, or he breaks into your really quick while out on patrol and leaves you a quick little sticky note, he also love making you cards. All of this containing how much he loves you and how much you mean to him.

A possibly toxic trait of his is that he cannot keep in touch and be there for you all of the time. If you are someone who is secure with not having constant attention from your partner then it’ll be okay but Tim is very busy and definitely can’t text all of the time or hangout all of the time.

Makes an effort to call when he can tho! He’s just not much of a texter tbh but he’ll call randomly.

When you two finally get to hang out it is yap central. Y’all are cuddling, playing games, and catching up on any and all drama and things that’s happening in your lives. Also because you guys might be able to hangout much it at least means y’all have A LOT to talk about. Also when y’all hangout it’s usually a sleepover.

When he has you meet his family he will tell you about any and all family drama, and if anything shocking happens between the bat family in front of y’all, you BET y’all are gonna be talking to each other about it later. Y’all love the drama.

Damian Wayne (not kid Damian ofc)

To have gotten close to him you’d likely have to had known him since he was a kid and also through forced proximity, probably due to his family having you around for some reason. It’s possible that you could’ve met him from school but it seems unlikely as he thinks lowly of most average people, BUT if you prove yourself as very intelligent or skilled in some way that would earn his respect.

In the case you are able to get close to him he shows his care in his own interesting way. He’s stubborn and doesn’t fully like to show that he cares about you but he’s very protective of you.

Generally a bit hard to get through to or get close to Damian because of his past. He sees opening up to people as a weakness in one way or another, but, I think over time with the support of his family (that’s not on his mother’s side ofc) he becomes more open to opening up to people.

Back to him being protective though! If you get into trouble he’d likely slightly bully you for getting yourself into trouble, sometimes he is just messing with you but other times he can’t help but feel angry at you if you did or almost got yourself seriously hurt. It’s definitely a red flag of his that he gets angry and doesn’t handle his anger well if your get yourself seriously hurt or almost so, he does try to work on it though.

Damian isn’t a complete asshole though, he still does truly care and if you visually start to get upset or break down he will take a breath and comfort you the best he can. Which isn’t well ,but, depending on how long you’ve known eachother it is something he’s been working on.

will absolutely never admit his weakness to you to anyone, not a soul, but maybe Alfred.

His family is able to see it though, they just chose not to tease him about it like they would for anyone else’s relationships in the family. They understand that feeling weak is a big thing for him and he absolutely will take it to heart if they tease him.

You’re close to the only person he’d not be a complete a menace to, still a bit of a menace though but he tries to be better for you.

also not one to cuddle much but he loves to pet your hair. You both are watching a movie and you rest your head on his lap? You will be falling asleep because how won’t stop playing with your hair.

This is because he still isn’t great with affection, he does still crave it though.

When y’all kissed for the first time he probably ran away to question his life for a little, one of his sensible family members had to tell him it’s okay to love someone and it doesn’t make him weak and his mom won’t kill him for it (well they at least wouldn’t let her)

Oh also I think his love language is acts of service. He will be fixing anything for you if needed. It’s the easiest way for him to show that he does really care about you.

Casandra Cain 💕

Would likely prefer a civilian reader who she can tell about her being a vigilante to, I say a civilian reader as you would have a much more stable schedule than compared to another vigilante.

Her love language is quality time. She absolutely love going places with you, like the aquarium, the park, a coffee shop, any place really.

Y’all have a list of places that with one of you want to visit and you two slowly try to get through that list.

Cass loves people watching, please people watch with her. Y’all can then talk about what your seeing, Cass would have an especially good eye too with her amazing ability to read body language. You will still have to do most of the talking though because she isn’t much of a talker. It makes her happy though to just listen to you talk, she finds your voice soothing.

She’s very attentive to your needs and is very very quick to notice if something is wrong.

Her flaw which isn’t even a bad one at all is that she’s quick to always try and do something to make you feel better. Which that doesn’t sound bad but sometimes being able to just feel your emotions is very important instead of her just instantly trying to make you feel better.

With communication though she gets better at communicating with you about if you want yo be cheered up or if you just need to feel your emotions and just be upset for a little.

It takes her a while to be open to affection with you but after a while she really likes cuddles.

Scary big dog gf, appearance wise she’s not that scary but oh boy can she give of big dog gf energy as soon as anyone comes up to y’all who’s hitting on either one of y’all. Oh if walking in the streets of Gotham and probably about to get mugged she’ll scare that person off in an instant.

She’s sweet but absolutely do not underestimate her- do not forget she kicks so much ass.

749 notes · View notes

esotericbluntbaby · 4 months ago

Text

tendencies

hamzah the fantastic x reader

description: hamzah, having a match on valentines day, gets caught up in his own world without his girlfriend. after missing the date he was supposed to go on with you after his match, he picks you up in the darkness of the night. the lingering angst and anger builds up into a plethora of tension; more specifically, a more erotic, steaming tension.

mentions: ANGST! obvi, arguments, build up of tension between you and him, both of you have your toxic traits that really shine through, nsfw!, impact play..?, size kink..?, masochist! reader, boxer! hamzah, hurt/comfort, happy ending because sadly i dont think i could ever give u guys a bad ending

PLS DONT KILL ME AGAIN I HAD TO STUDY FOR A CALC QUIZ

you were soaking wet, and not in the good way.

hamzah was supposed to be at the purring cat hours ago, leading to your valentines day spent skimming over the laminated menus and sipping on a martini that couldn't get you drunk even if you tried. the warm oranges and reds in the room's lighting and ambiance mimicked the anger you felt rising up inside of you. the lighting, obviously intended to create a romantic atmosphere for all the happy couples on the day of love, taunted you like it was a witch holding out lollipops to children.

now, if some external circumstance did happen, you weren't the type to get riled up or anything; you were a decently reasonable person who was always wiling to hear him out. however, there were multiple blue bubbles on your phone from texting him about his whereabouts and a diminishing amount of his texts responding; in fact, there was really no response at all. you valued the communication and comprehension that was, normally, found in your relationship. however, there was a complete lack of on the day that it mattered the most. you were simply a pawn in his game; you didn't know how much longer you could keep getting moved to different areas of his board without knowing when this game would be over.

it was now so far into the night that the waiters exchanged glances of pity at one another, ending up with your meal comped and a complementary lava cake in front of you. you realized you had said that he was running late for the past two hours. gazing at the melting ice cream placed on top of the moist delicacy in front of you, it mocked you with a certain hunger that you didn't know how to explain. simply gazing at it made you remember how it was supposed to be him that you were dining with.

it was supposed to be him who was holding open the door for you, not some random couple who booked the same reservation time as you. it was supposed to be him who was grabbing your hand from across the table as you both marveled at the complexity of the menu, not you simply ordering a martini to sip on while you waited for him to show up. it was supposed to be him who paid for dinner, not the employees who gave you pity smiles and reassuring gestures of, "i'm sure he'll be here soon."

a scowl of disdain ended up plastered on your features like a mural to an empty wall. furrowed eyebrows, pursed lips, and resentful eyes made its way to your facial expression, which you understood was what caused all the waiters to comp your meal; not out of gratuity, but out of sorrow and compassion. you also understood that the waiters shouldn't have had to comp your meal, if your boyfriend was simply there.

he finally arrived in the lounge as they were about to close at around 11 o'clock at night; you had been waiting there for about three hours. bruises riddled his face, a more prominent one forming on the bridge of his nose. you were too upset to care. not one single text, nor one call, and instead, a pity meal given by those around you. a cyclone had formed, rushing winds and emotions being swirled around the two of you regarding the tension within the air between you. there was not a single word spoken, yet an understanding that you were both going to leave.

as you walked to the parking lot, he attempted to put his arm around your shoulder as if nothing happened; as if he didn't leave you to fend for yourself on the one day that you shouldn't have had to. so, you threw his arm off you, causing an audacious scoff coming from his mouth. the car ride was silent after that.

opening the door, your heels slammed on the floor with a slight stomp echoing with every step. you unlocked the door for yourself, closing it behind you with a loud bang of intensity radiating off of your emotions. you were incredibly pissed and you wanted him to know that.

the next day, you still avoided hamzah like he had the plague and was going to spread it to you with every word spoken. you slept on opposite sides of the bed, an invisible barrier being set between the both of you. you ate breakfast together in silence, only after he decided to sit with you on the island. you sat on opposite ends of the couch as you continued the series you started together before he decided to be a complete jackass, only after he joined you on the couch.

it was only throughout the series that he realized he fucked up incredibly and you realized that it's been almost a full day without a single apology. so, he shifted uncomfortable in his seat, sighing heavily as his eyes made it to you.

hamzah could lie and say that he absolutely hated that you were mad at him with no amount of leniency regarding your behavior; he could lie and say that the anger and passion in your face didn't turn him on. he knew it was bad, however, it was like something primal awakened in him. he didn't like you mad, obviously; more importantly, he didn't want you to leave him. however, hamzah believed that you were incredibly hot with that certain scowl on your face. he was at an ultimatum; keep you upset and angry at him so he could admire you even more than he already does, or apologize so that he could stop being a complete asshole.

he chose the latter, attempting to ease his way into an apology.

"i lost yesterday."

you were quick with a rebuttal, "serves you right."

"i didn't show up because i was with some friends," he awkwardly rubbed his neck, "they offered me a drink and i stayed at their house for a little."

"that's so, so great, hamzah. what do you want, a fucking medal? a medal that says 'best boyfriend ever?'" you laughed sarcastically.

"i'm trying to apologize-"

"and i'm yet to hear the word 'sorry' exit your mouth."

his voice raised out of frustration, "because you aren't letting me fucking speak!"

"great, that's just- that's fucking great. not only do you ditch me on fucking valentines day, but now you're damn near cussing me out and yelling at me."

"oh my fucking god- i'm sorry, okay?"

"so sincere!" you exclaimed in sarcasm as you stood up from the couch, "that was the best apology ever! the only apology to ever fucking exist, actually! you might as well be a world-renowned fucking apologist, hamzah!"

you made your way to the kitchen, pouring grapes into a bowl for you to munch on as your boyfriend tried, and failed, to apologize. he followed you, still frustrated from your well-deserved attitude.

"look, i get it- i should've been there yesterday."

"they comped my fucking meal- do you know how bad they felt for me to the point where my meal was free?" you yelled, "3 hours- 3 fucking hours, jackass! i was there for 3 hours just sipping on straight vodka wondering where my fucking boyfriend was! now i'm finding out that he was with his friends instead of his girlfriend because- actually, there is no because. you're just an asshole for leaving me there like that.

he attempted to diffuse your anger by putting his hand on your shoulder, "hey-"

"not only that, but you lost your fucking match yesterday too. you fucked up with your girlfriend and also lost your damn match. how do you fuck up twice?"

you realized that was uncalled for the second it left your mouth. the expression in his face was no longer frustrated; this was pure, undeniable anger. he got closer to you, causing your eyes to look upwards towards him; the height difference caused the intimidation to rise between the both of you. yet, you weren't going to back down. he was the one who messed things up between you and, while you probably shouldn't have brought up his match, he did deserve it. there was a moment of silence between the two of you with your eye contact making all the conversation needed for a couple of seconds.

he stared at you with testing eyes, "what'd you just say?"

you made a noise between a laugh and a scoff, "i said that you fucked up twice."

his hand made its way to your neck, softly slamming you into the wall behind you. your hands made its way to grab at the hand choking you by the neck; not trying to take it off of you, but simply holding it in place. you took a sharp inhale as a smirk landed on your face, taunting him the way that the loneliness in that restaurant taunted you.

"enough with the fucking attitude."

"or what?"

he realized that you were enjoying the show that he was playing for you; he was simply a puppet in your theater. this was amusing to you; his hand around your neck was the piece de resistance of this play. you wanted to know what would happen next; in fact, you were hungry for the climax.

he laughed angrily, "oh, i get it."

"what do you get?" you acted clueless.

"you wanted this."

you scoffed, "don't get too caught up in your ego."

"what? you want me to apologize, baby? you want me to make it up to you?" his hand on your neck became tighter.

you gasped, "frankly, i don't give a shit about what you do."

suddenly, a sting emerged onto your cheek. hamzah slapped you with his hand, as he choked you with his other. your head was turned to the side, until the hand he slapped you with made it back to your face. he turned you so that you were now looking at him with your head towards his own. he gently caressed the area with the burning sensation. even in his rough moments, you're still his princess.

"you got a fuck ton of attitude for someone whose neck is in my hand," he got closer to your ear and began to speak quieter, "you're so fucking tiny, you know that? compared to me, you're so small. your neck fits in one of my hands- both of your hands fit in one of my hands. i could ruin you if i wanted to."

"except you won't."

he laughed once again, "you sure about that?"

"i'd like to see you try-"

and with that sentence, hamzah's lips were rammed into yours. this kiss was full of hunger and remorse. the two of you couldn't get enough of how the kiss was altered by how angry and sexually pent up the both of you were. the dinner yesterday was undoubtably going to end up in drunk and high sex, but this is different. this was sober and needy. this was feverish and hazy. this was better.

he manhandled you, carrying you as you straddled his waist with your thighs. laying you down on the bed, he began to take off the entirety of your clothes in swift and rough movements. getting to your underwear, he physically ripped it off of you with how rough he was being.

"hamzah!"

"i'll buy you three new ones."

he was left in his underwear by the time that his sentence was finished. taking off his boxers, his body moved on top of you in missionary and he aligned himself with the wetness of the area between your legs. he didn't give you much time to adjust as he slammed into you over and over again. he was never rough like this before. moans and your names were exclaimed from both of your sides; you were always a noise girl, so you finished quite quickly. embarrassingly quickly.

you expected hamzah to stop as he normally does; whenever you finish first, you normally let him finish by sucking him off or using your hands. however, his pace didn't stop; in fact, it quickened with the speed of a metronome on its highest setting.

he was overstimulating you, causing your hands to move on their own. you attempted to push him away, being met with being choked by him and slapped once more.

"h-hamzah-"

"you fucking asked for this."

though to an outsiders point of view, this was odd; to you, this was heaven without the process of dying. you previously asked hamzah to be more aggressive during sex; he knew that you were a masochist, yet he was always too scared to hurt you because he simply isn't that kind of guy. the realization of why he was being so rough was sweet. it was obvious to you that he felt bad for leaving you on valentines, and this was his unofficial way of apologizing. by making you feel the best you've ever felt, it made you more incentivized to forgive him for his mistakes.

he finished shortly after you, pulling out and laying down on top of you. the covers were over the both of you as you both laid there: sweaty, out of breath, and fucked out.

"did- did i do okay?" he asked, his anger and frustration now being masked with shyness and timidity.

"you did great, baby."

"i'm sorry. i didn't mean to leave you yesterday- i was just upset and i didn't want you to see me like that, especially not in public. i should've texted or just toughened up."

"hamzah, just talk to me. i would've understood."

"but it was valentines day-"

"yea, it was, but i would've been fine just being with you. we didn't have to go out or anything."

"i was being a dick. you don't deserve that. i'm sorry, pretty."

you kissed him with a kiss that foiled the previous one, one that was more gentle, "it's okay. you can make it up to me another time."

he kissed you on the cheek, gazing at you from below, "be my valentine on unofficial valentines day tomorrow?"

"of course."

authors note!

guys i am SORRY i lied to u like terribly horribly sorry but happy late valentines day U WERE ALL MY VALENTINES SO NONE OF U WERE ALONE ON VALENTINES BECAUSE I WAS HERE ok i love u guys bye

#hamzah fic #hamzah imagines #hamzah x reader #hamzahthefantastic #slushy noobz #hamzah fluff #hamzah x y/n #hamzah angst #hamzah smut #hamzahthefantasticxreader

741 notes · View notes

inkandpaperqwerty · 2 months ago

Text

Dean is honestly the most toxic of the three boys. They all have issues, but Dean is the worst and most hypocritical about it. Not just with Team Free Will, but with outsiders. Dean determines all (good or bad, right or wrong, live or die), including whether you deserve a second chance, and everyone has to follow those guidelines except Dean himself. I honestly never got over his reaction to Max Miller. Killing monsters that can't be brought to justice by normal law enforcement is literally what Dean does all day, every day. Max did that, too, but because Max's victims were humans... it's not okay? Dean says no, and we see this hypocrisy a lot.

Dean sells his soul and abandons Sam to avoid facing the pain of being alone himself? Acceptable.

Sam drinks demon blood, which is equally associated with demons but is not hurting anyone except Sam himself, and it's helping others? Dean would hunt him if they weren't brothers; Sam's not even human anymore.

Because only Dean is allowed to break the rules.

"I don't believe in you." Dean says increasingly hurtful things to Sam throughout the series, and Sam lets Dean hurt him without fighting back (that I recall). However, when Sam does something to hurt Dean, the consequences are severe, even when he's trying to approach it carefully.

SAM Hold on. Dean, come on, man. DEAN turns around and punches him in the face with his right hand. SAM whirls around by the force. DEAN just watches him as he turns back around to DEAN. SAM You satisfied? DEAN hits him again, and then throws his bag on the floor. SAM touches his lip, which is bleeding. (S04E04)

Dean is also authoritarian, which falls in line with him being the rule maker and breaker. He doesn't explain his reasoning or allow arguments. You do it because Dean said so.

DEAN I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't...Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it. CASTIEL I don't understand. DEAN Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family -- that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something...You got to trust me, man. (S06E20)

One good reason to trust you is what I'm asking for, Dean. You make everything up as you go, and you do what you want every time no matter how much it hurts your brothers.

There's another scene I swear happened, but I'll be darned if I can find the episode, where Sam is trying to talk about the possibility of jumping in the cage (I think) and Dean's like, "You wanna talk? Okay. You're not doing it. Good talk."

This is so toxic and unhealthy, not just for Sam, but FOR DEAN HIMSELF. And then we got th:

DEAN: No. That's the thing. It's not on me to let you do anything. You're a grown – well, overgrown – man. If this is what you want, I'll back your play. SAM: That's the last thing I thought you'd ever say. DEAN: Might be. I'm not gonna lie to you, though. It goes against every fiber I got. I mean, truth is… You know, watching out for you… it's kinda been my job, you know? But more than that, it's… it's kinda who I am. You're not a kid anymore, Sam, and I can't keep treating you like one. Maybe I got to grow up a little, too. I don't know if we got a snowball's chance. But… But I do know that if anybody can do it… it's you. (S05E22)

And Dean had grown. And it was amazing. And then the writers realized if they wanted to make money, they needed Dean (AND Sam and Castiel, because they are far from innocent) to continue making the same toxic mistakes over and over for as long as the cash cow gave them money. And they undid EVERYTHING.

And the worst part of it all is that I DO NOT HATE DEAN. I think these traits are such massive signs that Dean is the one who needs help the most. He's a functioning alcoholic, he has an explosive temper, he hates himself—I could go on. And he NEEDS HELP. And as much as I love Sam and Castiel, they are also damaged and toxic, and they cannot give him what he needs.

I keep getting distracted by a Dean in therapy story I've been working on (when I'm SUPPOSED to be writing other things) so I'm really hot about this topic right now. I have so many feelings about how much Dean could heal if he could get to a point where he understands nuance in relationships.

Below is an excerpt form the WIP.

[Elijah, the therapist, is speaking.] “That phrase, ‘Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,’ really only works for strangers and acquaintances. You shouldn’t do unto your loved ones as you would have them do unto you; you should do unto them what they want you to do unto them.” Swallowing, Dean kept himself calm, confused enough by the conversation that he was able to push down the anger—of course I care he knows I care how could he think even for a second that I don’t care—and listen. “What is a food that Sam likes that you don’t?” Dean blinked. “Uh… salads? I mean, I don’t hate them, but…” “And you like cheeseburgers. Does Sam?” “He could take them or leave them.” Dean wet his lips, cooling off a little more with each passing second. “So, if you do unto others as you would have others do unto you, you give them what you would want. You would give Sam cheeseburgers, and he would give you salads.” Elijah held his hands about a foot apart, maintaining eye contact every time Dean dared to look at him for more than a split second. “You give Sam cheeseburgers, and you’re expecting him to love them as much as you do, and he’s like, ‘Uh, thanks, I guess?’ And that’s like a gut punch. Sam then tries to give you a salad, and he’s expecting you to be happy about that, and you’re like, ‘Really. Salad.’” Dean felt so stupid having someone use food to explain love to him—like he was a kindergartener who needed finger puppets to get the moral of the story—but at the same time, it made more sense to him than he thought it would. “Then, every now and then, you have a salad, and you don’t really want it, so you ask your brother if he wants to take it off your hands. And he’s so excited because you gave him a salad, and you never do that. And he says, ‘I love it when you give me the favorite food,’ and you say, ‘I literally do that all the time.’ He says you don’t, and you’re angry because you go out of your way to give him cheeseburgers as much as possible. Meanwhile, he’s angry because you never give him salads so what are you talking about ‘all the time?’ And sometimes you manage to get a cheeseburger out of Sam, and it’s great, but he doesn’t seem to get it, and he doesn’t really see a need to do it again. Because it’s not a salad.” Elijah turned his hands slightly, palms up. “The issue isn’t that you and Sam aren’t trying to give each other favorite foods, it’s that you’re trying to give each other your own favorite foods.”

And with that, I leave you. Why did you do this to me? I have so much that needs to get done today, and now it's 12:30. I hate you. JK, this post is great, and I love both it and you.

(A rant on Dean being a little shit in season 5)

I'm on season 5 for my rewatch of supernatural and DEAN IS FILLING ME WITH SUCH RAGE?! Like girlie, I get that you're a bit pissed off at Sam for the whole Ruby-demon-blood- lying- starting the-apocalypse-because-I-was-being-manipulated thing but like he was addicted and had started off doing it all for you.

Stop being so mean to Sam girliepops. Like early season 5, you're all "Sam stop apologising, it's okay" and then 5 mins later, you're all "Sam this is all your fault, we wouldn't be here if you hadn't betrayed me for that demon bitch!" Like yeah girlie you can feel resentment towards Sam but girl you're literally the only person that Sam cares about, you're the only opinion that matters to him, try be a little more understanding. Please.

Then late season 5 you're off to say yes to Michael and you site your lack of faith in Sam as your main reason. AND YOU DO IT IN SUCH A CRUEL WAY?!

Dean: I just don't believe

Sam: In what?

Dean: In you.

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DEAN, THAT WAS CRUEL. FIRST YOU THROW AWAY THE SAMULET AND THEN YOU PULL THIS SHIT?!

And then you go on to say that you think "it's only a matter of time until lucifer is wearing you to the prom." GIRL! THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK! IF YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE AT LEAST TRY END IT ON GOOD TERMS?!

The utter disregard for how hard we see Sam trying is so mean. Like I get Dean is depressed, and he's got self-worth issues and all that, but Sam has problems too and he manages to be considerate of Dean.

This whole thing is such a heartbreaking deterioration of the relationship that we saw in earlier seasons. When Dean would help Sam with his whole "I'm evil!" Angst trip and they'd look out for each other and have light hearted banter.

It hurts my heart. Dean, Sam, go to family therapy or something please.

20 notes · View notes