#tumblr has been a real b lately

[a-shade-of-blue]

Bracelets for Hazem’s Family!

I am organizing this handmade bracelet raffle in order to raise funds for Hazem's family. Due to my geographical restrictions, I can only mail the bracelets to addresses in the UK. Donate a minimum of €5 to enter the raffle! I will count each €5 as an entry, so if you donate €10, you will be entered twice. The deadline for entering this raffle is 25 September, 2024. I have made 4 bracelets, so there will be 4 winners. The bracelets are all handmade by me, and bracelets A, B and C have real freshwater pearls in them!!

Please fill in this Google form in order to enter the raffle: https://forms.gle/uCGnBB99QNSXChDC7

Hazem's Tumblr Account: @hazempalestine

Hazem's campaign has been vetted by el-shab-hussein. This campaign is listed as #281 on the verified fundraiser list by el-shab-hussein and nabulsi. He is also a friend of Bilal-Salah0.

Hazem is a dentistry student who moved to Belgium in 2018 for his studies. Since then, he has not been able to see his family in Northern Gaza. His parents, his four brothers and one sister are in the Jabalia refugee camp. Their home has been bombed and destroyed.

The area his family is staying at was recently bombed and he had lost contact with them when it was happening. He was really really worried, but thankfully they survived and he managed to contact them the next day. Imagine knowing the place your loved one is staying is being bombed, and not being able to reach them! Imagine being so far away, watching all the horrors happening on the news, and not knowing if your loved ones are ok!

We have been chatting a lot lately and he is a really lovely person. He even offered to help me with my dissertation, and that was like just after he managed to contact his family after the bombing. He is trying to raise funds to evacuate his 7 family members (his parents, four brothers, and his sister), so he has to raise a total of €50,000. He aims to reach his next goal of €10,000 by Sunday in order to evacuate his sister.

Currently €7,842 raised of €50,000 target!

Please share/reblog and donate if you are able to! I thank you in advance for supporting!

(p.s. Please direct message me if you have any problems filling in the Google Form)

[cooki3face]

what would your divine masculine be like as a father

message: I’ve clearly forgotten how to work Tumblr, I’ve had to rewrite this like sixty times but anyway, I owe ya’ll like 600 readings because I’ve been gone but I believe mercury retrograde in Virgo is trying to teach me work-life balance and get me to slow down and reprioritize self-care and rest. I’ve been very unproductive as of late, and I’ve just been trying to be patient with myself and wait until I had it in me to push out any content. Today, or this evening I feel a little pushed or called to do this reading and give you guys something after the drought my blogs and social media accounts have been in, I hope you enjoy the reading and find it fun and entertaining! 💙

***

i.

I’m automatically picking up on a very strong divine masculine here and energy. He’s enlightened, he’s in alignment with himself, his divine feminine, and he’s in tune. To say that he is only one parent all on his own would feel like an understatement as he is very nurturing, protective, and capable of many things, and being all the many people and guides and influences his children will need him to be throughout their lives. I’m hearing the saying “It takes a village.” And this is the type of father who could be the village all on his own if you couldn’t be there. You could have some sort of health issue or have a fear of not being able to be there for your children the way you should be or you may fear not being able to be the parent or the mother that they deserve due to your past and your experiences but this divine masculine is someone who will excel in parenting and raising children. If it so happens that you are not there or find moments where you’re not able to be completely there he would be able to take over and do what was necessary. That’s not to say that anything is going to happen to you or you’ll be faced with blockages that would prevent you from being present but if that were the case you could trust this divine masculine to carry your children as well as you.

This divine masculine loves you. He has a lot of love to give, he may have spent a large part of his life with his heart locked away in a box, or the love and the passion that he’s capable of giving locked away for his own safety so he could be sure he wouldn’t be giving it all away to the wrong person. He loves very deeply. You may know this person already and have a high-level soul mate connection with this person or a twin flame connection with this person. I’m hearing, you know this person's heart. You know who this person is, you recognize their higher self even if they don’t yet or the people around them don’t yet. And I see that he loves you very much, your children will be created out of love, will be well loved, and will be able to see what real love looks like. They’ll be able to see you not just being parents to them and loving them unconditionally but loving one another unconditionally.

You and this divine masculine could come from families with unstable relationships or marriages (ex. Divorce, a lack of marriage, abuse, etc.) and this connection was meant to break a generational curse, it is within your soul's purpose as a unit to break a generational curse and represent true unconditional love and partnership and I even feel called to bring this up because this divine masculine may have childhood trauma or deep wounds regarding his parent's relationship, seeing it be unsafe or unconventional or overall watching it fall away to nothing and feeling like he’s come from a broken family. In younger years of his life, he may run from commitments or run from you for fear that he is genetically cursed and his own marriage or relationship may feel if he were to invest in them. He could also have a very difficult or significant father figure here or a paternal line that holds a lot of weight or holds a lot of masculine energy wounds or wounding here and he may feel that because he comes from his father, he can only be him and that it’s only a matter of time before he turns into someone he doesn’t truly want to be or has had to forgive here.

He very deeply fears the shadow of his father. In earlier stages, this wounding could cause him to be afraid and maybe even pick up karmic habits of his father as if he’s trying to emulate him so that he could quickly become adjusted to who he believes he is going to become despite the feeling deep within his spirit that he wants something entirely different or doesn’t want to be that way. But, I see this divine masculine learning to turn his pain into power and learning to understand that his past circumstances and home life were a very large example of what it is he’s meant to change, break down, or do the opposite of. I’m hearing spirit asking how someone is supposed to make a difference or be the energy they want to be if they don’t see anything wrong within their family dynamics or within their past or experiences. This energy of creating strengths from within or spinning gold out of his experiences is not something he’s mastered yet or awakened to no matter how simple this concept may seem.

If you know this divine masculine already, he could be someone who always seems to be a couple of steps behind you, who may not be spiritually awakened, or who may step in and out of moments of alignment and enlightenment. I’m seeing a mermaid or a siren sitting on top of a rock in the sea just minding her own business and this would be you divine feminine and occasionally he peaks above the surface of the water, looking at you, admiring you, and even reaching his hand up to reach you but he’s quickly pulled down beneath the water by his own fears and karmic cycles. And when you reach your hand in the water or when you’ve reached your hand in the water in the past searching for him or trying to almost put yourself into alignment with him or come down to his level you may find even still that you could not reach him or see him because he was hiding and it wasn’t meant for you to come down to his level and shrink yourself down to fit into a reality or a energetic space you don’t quite belong in here divine feminine. That was really specific, but he will come into alignment and he will emerge from the water in all of his glory when the time is right and when he’s ready.

I’m seeing this divine masculine coming into his power and stepping into his higher self in time to become a father and raise children and him becoming a very gentle and patient father figure whose sole goal is to protect and to nurture his children and ease their suffering. There’s a very rough belief that parents need to prepare their children for the cold nature of the world by being cold to them so they know what to expect but I’m hearing that he’s had enough of the cold energy of the world and he wants a better world. I’m hearing that he experienced that type of parenting as a child and has been awakened to what it does to others and what it did to him and his only wish is to protect his children and to hold them all their lives no matter how big they get. No matter how cold the world gets they can always just come home. That’s what he wants.

He may spend a lot of his time as a father, working on himself spiritually, working through trauma, and reflecting on himself, his shadow, and his experiences and history so that he could be better and do better. When we grow up, we often forget where we came from, what we didn’t like as children, what types of things were hard for us and this constant self-reflection and introspection will make him a magnificent father. Very compassionate and understanding. His kids have a friend in him, a protector, and someone extremely loyal and dependable. I see this divine masculine being very heavy in the energy of protecting his children and shielding them from harm. He may be a father who is the first to stand up for his children and does it in a very outward way when he feels they’ve been wronged or mistreated, he may try to shield his children from social media or from the public if he’s someone who's in the public eye or generally just believes in evil eye and the idea that children and little souls are sacred and meant to be guarded. He is a protector of children. Fatherhood will serve him right.

He will wake up one day, next to his divine feminine, and all his five hunnit and sixty-thousand children, and realize that he wouldn’t rather be any place else and that this was the life he dreamt of, that this life heals his inner child, that this life is peaceful and safe and harmonious. I’m getting he’s going to be the type of man who keeps you pregnant every year or very frequently. He may come from a large family or come from a culture that very heavily values large families and lots of children. But, he will take care of you and make sure that your pregnancies are comfortable and that you receive the utmost care and support. He may even be very intrigued by your diet and wellness and may even educate himself on women’s health and maternity and holistic medicine. He could make a lot of money but be very focused on creating a good life for his children and for his wife. Buying the children's things, investing in his woman and her maintenance (e.g. Beauty, birthing luxuries, etc.) investing in her business ideas and desires, buying and investing money into houses, properties, cars, and the children’s education. He’s very serious about giving you and the children he gifts you with good lives!!!

He’ll learn that children teach you things and as a parent, it is not your job to know everything or shut down your children when they have ideas, differences in beliefs, etc. he will see fatherhood as a learning experience. I’m hearing he’ll become someone who is very strong in his belief that the children are the future and to build a better world means raising your children right and protecting them until the end. His approach to fatherhood and how good of a father is will contribute to his personal idea of success and happiness. When his children are upset with him or if he ever finds that his children dislike him this may bring about a large amount of depression or unhappiness for him. He may have grown up with a lot of conflict or may have had to fight to be treated with respect or be valued and acknowledged as someone who is deserving of peace, space, and good things and I see him passing on this energy to his children. They may grow up to have a way about themselves that’s very protected and serious about their boundaries and their respect. He may also take the time out to teach his children how to fight or involve them in martial arts from a young age.

He’ll always be planning ahead and looking out for these children as they complete him. You couldn’t ask for a better father figure he is the embodiment of the divine masculine, of the emperor. His past experiences will play a huge part in who he is as a parent and who he is as a father. He sees the inner child in everyone and he will most definitely see the inner child in his children. And he will give to them until he doesn’t have anything left. His children and his wife are his main priorities and he gives this energy that if it’s not about his money, about his wife, or about his kids he doesn’t want to talk. Don’t invite him lol.

***

ii.

Pile two, you may be really young when you conceive this baby, I'm hearing late teens or early twenties here. This baby could be a surprise for the both of you. Your divine masculine maybe someone you met and started seeing or talking to and it may have been a very chill connection that was flowing very nicely and creating a safe space for the two of you here. I’m getting very light and airy energy. You could meet this person around the spring or even early winter around Christmas time or around the holidays. You could’ve not met this person yet I’m hearing or you could be searching for your soul mate or for your twin flame or for some sort of divine partnership here that’s going to come in for you when you least expect it. There’s an energy of spirit really giving you the life you wanted, the connections you wanted in a very fast and sporadic fashion. Like really throwing it at you or flipping your whole entire world upside down with drastic changes. You may be an air sign or someone whose life is typically very disorganized or be very hectic and unpredictable. You also could’ve grown up in similar environments and have grown really used to the twists and turns of life.

And I’m hearing spirit saying that they’ll bless you that way as well and these sudden changes will then bring you your wish fulfillment and stability. It’s almost like you and this person had a very casual connection yet you may feel very connected and drawn to this person or feel very safe with this person. This person may travel a lot or be very adventurous or someone who is an earth sign or someone who likes to spend a lot of time outside, who may enjoy hiking, fitness, or sports, or be really into health and wellness and curating a beautiful lifestyle. This person really gives me like American psycho vibes almost but like except the murdering people and the like super over-formal and business-type energy. Like this person could be a little bit of a perfectionist and could be really particular and organized in his life and may be someone who is the opposite of you or reflects back to you the stability that you and your inner child crave. I'm getting “best part” by Daniel Caesar.

You could be someone who is generally very emotionally immature or someone who has a very childlike energy to them and may take that approach in relationships or may have had deep relationships in your past that were very chaotic and had an air of emotional immaturity that may have left you feeling hopeless or even unfulfilled or maybe a little undervalued and undeserving and I think spirit may give this person to you in a manner that’s very casual and immature like in energy and it may blossom into something bigger or you may feel as though this divine masculine is too good to be true and you may run from him or doubt your belonging in this connection but spirit is going to force you to stay with this person and understand what it feels like to be genuinely loved and be with someone who genuinely feels right for you. You could be someone who has to fall a couple of times to really get a lesson or who has to be beaten over the head with your lessons by the universe until you finally get it as well.

You may perceive your fate with this person or your connection with this person to be very unrealistic or again too good to be true but I do see some type of surprise pregnancy here. And you and your divine masculine may feel uneasy about this or as if this is some type of delay or something but this is really a blessing in disguise or a manifestation of what real love is. This child will be the result of real love and genuine connection. This child will be a physical manifestation of the love you’ve been looking for all your life. The stability you’ve been looking for all your life because the stability and the safety that is within your divine masculine will be within this child as well. This child and this connection will be spirits way of forcing you and your divine masculine to open your eyes and think far into the future and have something to fight for and create good lives around.

This divine masculine will take the insecurity and the lack of self-love and feminine power and energy you have within you and turn it into love to give right back to you and he will empower you as a divine feminine but also as a mother. He could see the true potential in you and see magic within you you don’t even see within yourself. This person will love you pile two and they’ll love the baby. They’ve discovered an entirely new world within you and your love, they’ve discovered a new purpose. And because of you and this experience your divine masculine will step into his higher self and truly embody this emperor energy and take care of and protect what’s his. The two of you may be nervous and feel that this level of change could result in something destructive and difficult for you but your minds will quickly change once you come into alignment with reality.

I see this person using all their gifts and talents to approach fatherhood and welcome a new baby into the world. This person like I said before could be really organized or be someone who likes to travel or is into health and wellness and they will apply the things they’ve learned in life to fatherhood this person may also be really smart, really good at math, or something of the sort and this person will teach their children a lot of the things that they’ve learned when it comes to math and academics. Instilling a hunger for learning and expansion of the mind in your children. They’ll be stepping into their power and pouring into your child and their child everything that they have within them. This person will be a young new father and he’ll want to take the baby with him everywhere.

I see him being at the grocery store with the baby in a carrier or taking the baby on morning jobs or on hikes or taking the baby to the bank with him or out to run errands and even taking the baby with him when he goes out to eat or treats himself to meals, all this while the baby is a attached to him. He’ll be the sort of father who prides himself in how much time he spends with his child and genuinely enjoys going on adventures with the baby. He may even be a father who is incredibly considerate of you and how much time you put into feeding and caring for the child, as well as how much rest you get. He’ll take on duties, he’ll feed and change the baby and take him outside to get fresh air when you need to rest. You won’t be a single parent who's married. You’ll be heavily cared for and he’ll make sure to create a safe space for you and honor you as not only his woman but a mother.

I see this baby healing him and healing his heart as well. He may have grown up feeling picked on or feeling like a bit of an outsider or like someone who didn’t feel validated in his ability to do things or in his talents. Nobody ever told him good job or gave him a pat on the back for making good decisions or doing well in things like school, sports, etc he could’ve been someone who took up a lot of hobbies, took up a lot of skills, or did a lot of things so he could get the validation and the attention he deserved and wished for. His background with health and wellness and fitness may have come from this but this baby will heal his connection to his hobbies and to taking care of his body not out of image and for the sake of other people and the way they view him but as someone who does what he does and enjoys what he does out of self-love because he wants to take care of himself, his mind, his body and he able to take care of his child and show up as the best version of himself.

For this baby, he’ll be dropping the remainder of any bad habits , insecurities, self limiting beliefs, and karmic people and cycles. He may even find within him the courage to remove himself from connections with people (family, friends, exes, etc.) who bring him down or make him feel bad or unhappy because he will be all for creating a safe emotional environment for you, for the baby, and for himself. I see a large heart chakra opening. Self-compassion, self-forgiveness, self-awareness, self-reflection. For himself and for you. Everything will align for him because of this baby and because of you, everything will make sense. He’ll be forever grateful and that energy will reflect in how he treats you and the life that you’ve gifted him with because he will grow to understand the significance of a woman in general but of a woman he loves and how much magic she can give him. All you have to do is give him his son and he’ll give you the rest lol. His inner growth will serve as a long-term investment in this baby's life and in your life. He will blossom into someone so enlightened and whole. He’ll socialize and connect with others in ways you haven’t seen before, he’ll be open to receiving and accepting better friendships and people who will contribute to his happiness and support him.

He may also become really involved in what to feed the baby when the baby starts on solids or starts eating real food. He may be interested in cooking meals for the baby, feeding the baby all types of different fruits and vegetables and expanding the palette. And he may also start giving the baby food even before most people say the baby is ready or encouraging the baby to try different flavors. I'm also getting like, do you remember how it used to be a trend to give a baby a lemon. He's one of those dads.

***

iii.

Out of nowhere, I’m hearing “Rock Your Body” by Justin Timberlake. I haven’t even shuffled the spread yet for pile three. I accidentally typed playlist instead of spread and I believe nothing is a coincidence. You may meet this person out dancing or this person may really like dancing or you really like dancing. I’m hearing “Don’t be so quick to walk away, dance with me. I wanna rock your body, please stay.” I’m also hearing the part of the song where it’s like “Talk to me, boy. No disrespect, I don’t mean no harm. Talk to me, boy. I can’t wait to have you in my arms. Talk to me, boy. Hurry up cause you’re taking too long.”

This could be someone you know already. Your divine masculine could be an ex or someone you had a connection with who almost felt like the right person wrong time. You could be secretly in love with this person here or could’ve been in love with this person for a long time and you may not have had the ability to love them the right way or be in a harmonious relationship with them but you always come back to one another and there’s love there but this divine masculine may run from you or be the runner within your connection. I see you trying to get this person to open up to you or to open up to you again here. I don’t know if there’s history here or some energy of you and this person being sweethearts of some sort or loving each other or having a relationship during your school years or during your early/late teens. This is really random for this portion of the reading but you could be really adamant about this child participating in extra curricular stuff like dance or sports. You could be into dance or sports.

The whole entire song, is really on point and I feel it resonates. Obviously, it’s a pop song and it’s very fun and like has a club vibe because it’s Justin Timberlake but if you look at the lyrics it’s clearly an exchange between two people, it’s clearly them talking about love and not being afraid to hold it or have it between the two of them. There could’ve been some sort of break up or some sort of rift between the two of you that caused some sort of space. There could’ve been a third-party interference or someone involved that couldn’t pushed a wedge between the two of you and affected this connection. Idk There’s a lot about this connection and I’m feeling called to channel and pull cards for it even though this reading is about what your divine masculine would be like as a father but apparently all of this is significant to the two of you and your connection.

I feel like the two of you may end up being intimate at an odd time in your life or within your connection and it may result in a pregnancy here. I think this person obviously loves you but there may be some sort of fear or trust issues involved regarding something that happened with a third party or within a past version of your connection but I’m hearing a spirit baby will be sent down to bring the two of you together and mend the connection. You could be a virgin or be someone who is not very sexually active or someone who hasn’t really explored their sexuality and that side of them yet but I see all of this coming to ahead with this person being around and all of this is a part of the divine plan here. This person may be older than you. Be very close to you or be a friend of the family of some sort as well. They may have some type of experience over you as well as sexually and you may end up getting in a habit of being intimate with this person or sharing moments of intimacy with this person and one thing will lead to another here.

I see this divine masculine being a very protective father here. And it is genuinely because they see so much of this child within you and them protecting this child will be them protecting you or loving you through this child even when you’re at odds or even in moments where they feel closed off or distant despite loving you very much and admiring you. I hear spirit telling me that a child with your divine masculine would bring so much needed Justice to your connection and to his world. His love for this child will draw him closer to you and make him love you even more and push him to become awakened to this connection and how much you truly mean to him and how much he needs to heal and let you in the way things used to be. This person may feel that you’re in a love drought or feel that they’re disconnected from you or that you’re generally out of their reach and I see fatherhood allowing your divine masculine to over come this and not feel that way anymore. “Love drought” by Beyoncé could be significant. Also “she’s mine” parts one and two by J. Cole.

All of these memories you have, all of this time you’ve spent together will ultimately come back to this divine masculine and open him up without you having to lift a finger. The formation album is really significant to me right now, the way she goes through these motions, the way she tells this story and talks about her healing journey and the process of healing. I’m not saying we should be cheating on each other and staying married or anything but there is a level of unconditional love and rebirth that Beyoncé is talking about throughout this album. Connections have to go through cycles, past versions of connections have to die, they have to be reborn again, and the people within them have to die again and again and again and reborn themselves so they can continue to love one another as a collective, as a unit.

And that’s why Beyoncé stayed married to her husband after their hardship and what happened because she loves someone unconditionally, even when his karmic cycles and energies come up and push him to make bad decisions and put her in unfortunate situations, she loves him even still, because she grows to understand that his actions have nothing to do with her and her glory, her beauty, and her magic and they have everything to do with the way he feels/felt about himself. The energy you bring to your connection, to your divine feminine/divine masculine is the energy you’re harboring within you. I say all of this because it pertains to your connection with this divine masculine as well. Whatever this was that created the space, that brought death to the connection for rebirth, all of these memories, all of the love, all of the connection and intimacy will give the connection life again. He will pour his knowledge of unconditional love into your child, he will love your child unconditionally as he chooses to love you.

He will be able to let go of self-limiting beliefs and fears and the ego-based energy that keeps him stagnant or keeps him away from you or at a distance. This very well may be a twin flame connection that you have here, this rebirth, this release of co-dependent ideas and limiting beliefs and mindsets are very twin flame connection esc. His self-care and his self-love will be loving you, allowing himself to be truly connected with you, and loving the baby he created with you. This baby will bring upon true rebirth and inner calling. This will be a wish fulfillment for him and he will treat it as such.

I know this message was different from the other piles but I know it was meant.

***

I don't know who needs to hear this but DO NOT SETTLE!!! These divine masculine that belong to you, that you will lives with exist! You need to believe that and be ready to receive them. These people, these divine masculines may still be unawakened or still be sorting through their own trauma and cycles and coming into alignment with themselves and you may feel as though the right person for you, your divine counterpart doesn't exist or isn't out there but that is simply not the case. He is out there but spirit is preparing him for you, getting him ready so that when he comes you may receive each other and live in harmony. Don’t settle. Don’t become discouraged.

[menlove]

[image id: an ask from @harbingerofskulls that reads: "im gonna b real i only knew the jerking off i would love to hear you elaborate more if you want to go on the whole situation" /end id]

answering here so i can save as a draft without risking the ask disappearing bc tumblr's been doing that lately but

oh god </3 for everyone else- it's talking about this post. sooo i'm gonna go through each one bc i've been feeling insane for several weeks. i'll do my best to cite my sources lmao

i don't know (johnny johnny)

this is referring to this unreleased VERY early beatles track from 1960. the audio quality is absolute shit & as such unfortunately people love to put words to it that don't make much sense in either direction (i.e a lot of mclennon fans want to hear "you're in love with me" and a lot of people that hate mclennon will just make up the weirdest lyrics that make 0 sense so it's Not Gay). some of the lyrics that ARE clear make it obvious this song is about the two of them running away together- at one point i'm fairly certain paul says "how am i gonna tell my father that we're leaving town?" probably referring to them leaving to hamburg. which would be fine but some of the other lyrics areeeee..... very..... Hm. like multiple times paul refers to john as "my boy" and there's bits of them talking about not knowing what to tell their friends & wanting to just run off together alone. if i were the other members of the band having to record this i would have killed them with hammers <3 also the entire end is just paul going "oh johnny" like 1 million times. okay. sure. also since the lyrics ARE so garbled i mean i guess people could be right about it saying "how am i gonna tell my father you're in love with me" but i just don't hear it. still, a very gay song about running off together and getting away from everything and everyone, complete with moaning the other's name </3

2. paris

this one is a huge part of McLennon Fandom Lore lmao but for good reason. not citing sources on all this bc it's one of those that's just Fact & can be found in like any beatles biography or thebeatlesbible.com (my savior) but. for john's 21st birthday, he got 100 pounds from a rich relative. instead of taking his girlfriend or any of his other friends, he decided to use the money to take paul to spain. but they stopped in paris on the way and just decided to stay there. which i mean like. taking your best friend over your girlfriend to the city of love is a little weird but it's not THAT weird. it's everything else that makes people want to chew glass about it. including some of the other things on this list. like this audio of john just goofing around singing about paris and paul, with such hits as "my cheri, my pau pau my pau paul." which is :| okay best friend. and paul has this picture hung up in his house that he took of john sleeping in paris. okay. sure. why not. (although ig there's some doubt about if the photo is from paris? either way it's a picture paul took and has framed in his house which is incriminating enough my man). also NOT in the original post but may pang, a woman john had a brief affair with in the 70s, wrote a book called loving john. in it, there's this quote:

After a late lunch, Linda launched into a long paean to the joys of living in England. When she was finished, she turned to John and said, “Don’t you miss England?”

“Frankly,” John replied, “I miss Paris.”

okay! also in an interview once he said:

The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic, just to be there and see them, even though I was twenty-one and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing; and they weren’t mauling at each other, they were just kissing.

(interview with david scheff for playboy in september 1980)

3. if i fell

this one i already made an insane post on that started my spiral into posting about the beatles publicly </3 but, essentially, the song "if i fell" by john is..... well it's most likely about paul. he said it wasn't about his wife but that it was auto-biographical and he never really had any public affairs that weren't flings, certainly not a lover. but most damning is he wrote the complete lyrics for the first time on a valentine's day card addressed "to paul with love" with some hearts and arrows pointing to where the lyrics were written. absolutely insane. made me insane.

4. oh! darling

rawest paul song of all time if i do say so myself lmao. but it's just.... Highly Suspicious, that's what it is. a Lot of beatles fans/historians will admit this song is most likely about john but they won't admit that it's fucking romantic if it is. like.

like that is so blatantly romantic idk what to say other than that. also, in the official recording on abbey road, there's Several points where paul says "darling" that sound more like he's saying "johnny" which is what he called him. people brush it off by saying it's his accent, but there's a very clear difference between when he's saying "darling" and when he's saying "johnny". i mean the Lore behind this is that it was written right when things were splitting up between them (& the rest of the band) so it makes sense and it's why most people are willing to accept it's about john. it's just insane to me that they'll accept it's about john without considering the implications of that.

5. the real life demo

this one made me want to light myself on fire i won't lie to you. but here it is! john had a song called "real love" and this is a very early demo of it. but instead of the lyrics that came to actually be in the song (which are thought to be about yoko but let's not get into the fact that it was on a tape labeled "for paul" but whatever), it includes john fucking crying as he sings saying:

"was i just dreaming or was it only yesterday? i used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby and another on the way... la la la la farm..."

which can quite literally be about no one else but paul, as this demo was recorded when he'd just had two children with his wife linda and linda was pregnant with their third child. they'd moved to a farm in scotland. hearing this audio clip did genuinely make me want to lie down in the dirt for a week. also "i used to hold you in my arms" just... yeah. god. when people think it was unrequited idk what to say, really.

6. If Paul Were A Woman-

shoving these two together but. in april of 85, paul said in an interview about john and yoko's relationship:

"I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, 'Who’s this?' You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and…"

okay bestie <3 and what would make your relationship different if you were a woman? interesting! and yoko had something similar to say. in this audio, she says:

"I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul."

just reminds me of being a kid and telling my best friends "if i were a boy i'd date you" lol. incredible. does anyone here know about bisexuality.

7. stuart!

not much to say here except that john had a best friend, stu sutcliffe, who died young & before that had been the bassist in the band. paul fucking hated him sooo much oh he SEETHED. a lot has been written on that relationship but it was.... very interesting to say the least. it could have just been about the band, or just jealousy over john's friendship, but take that with a lot of john biographers suspecting john had feelings/even a sexual relationship with stuart and it paints a very Interesting picture to say the least

8. john's bisexuality

here's a compilation of quotes about it, but john was more than likely bisexual. which has nothing to do w paul, really, but more to do against people that like to claim they were both Heterosexual Men. although an interesting quote in this compilation is him saying he's "had paul" lmfao

9. paul's post-beatles work

there's just.... there is so so so much here i don't even know where to begin. @ringompreg has a good compilation of paul songs here. a lot of them do take a bit of Lore but like..... it comes down to the fact that both him and john have/had admitted many times to using their lyrics during The Breakup Years to talk to/reference each other and sooooo many of these lyrics are insanely blatant. the two i mentioned were tug of war and let me roll it, both of which are acknowledged to be about john by most people WITH NO ONE BOTHERING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT which..... tug of war has this:

we could stand on top of the mountain with our flag unfurled? dancing to a beat played on a different drum? this is what gaylors think gaylor conspiracy is but paul mccartney is really out here saying this shit.

and let me roll it is so fucking blatantly romantic but every reviewer is like haha! what a cool song that's "making fun" of john and clearly in his style! like are straight people stupid genuinely. anyway:

bonus to that but about JOHN'S solo work :)))))) he wrote a song called "watching the wheels" and when you consider he very much responded to MANY of paul's solo stuff it's :)

which as a response to let me roll it would just be... so devestating but it may be a stretch idk if i'm onto anything there it's just worth Mentioning

and there's a lot of others, a lot of them in that post up there. like far too many where paul mentions falling in love with a friend like Alright.

10. paul's first lsd trip with john/"i know" "i know"

this one is less blatantly romantic but it is just insane. here's an article. and a quote from george martin about it. the first time paul tripped on acid w john was bc john accidentally took some and he took him home & then took acid w him bc he didn't want john to be alone on the trip :( but, notably:

"And we looked into each other’s eyes, the eye contact thing we used to do, which is fairly mind-boggling. You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot," the singer recalled, "And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away."

he also apparently saw john as the, and i quote, "emperor of eternity" during this trip??????? okay

SOMEWHERE i can't find it rn and i'm getting lazy but somewhere they (i think paul?) talk about the fact that they used to just stare into each other's eyes and then say "i know" "i know" which. considering john's song "i know (i know)" makes me crazy

11. in my life/i will

these are really just some devastating songs with lyrics that make you really raise your eyebrows. for in my life, written by john, it's just an incredibly romantic & sweet song that is again, not about his wife. given that the lennon estate is still out here posting pictures of paul to those lyrics i have to say it's a liiiiittle suspicious. and i will is...... it's one that paul insists is not about his girlfriend at the time, jane asher. and when you look at the lyrics vs how him and john met.... like. the song goes:

and the story of how they met was that paul saw john repeatedly before they ever met, when he didn't know who john was other than that he thought he looked cool & admired his sideburns (lmfao). and when they did finally meet, it was when john was singing at a garden fete (party) and paul was in the crowd just Mesmerized. so. well. you can see.... you can see how fitting that is. makes me crazy makes me want to chew glass actually

12. "we were each other's intimates" and other insane quotes

"we were each other's intimates" is a paul quote about john which is just insane but that's not even the tip of the iceberg. here's a ton of quote compilations.

13. "literally everything else"/honorable mentions

some honorable mentions go out to: john going on stage w elton john & playing i saw her standing there and introducing it as "a song by an estranged fiance of mine" okay! the "just like starting over" demos. okay! which isn't even to MENTION the fact that paul locked himself away in the studio listening to "just like starting over" on repeat for DAYS after john died like???? john saying repeatedly that he considered paul & yoko to be his two major partners in life including in an interview the literal day he died. a whole ass rpf movie where they kiss & talk like they're ex-lovers and dance in central park (two of us) made by the same dude that made the let it be movie like. he knew them personally? he worked with them closely? and the only thing paul had to say about it was just essentially that it was what he wished would've happened like???????? i can't find a super reliable source for this so take it w a grain of salt, but apparently paul referred to mclennon fanfiction as "beautiful stories" and doesn't mind them being written. paul also had a cat that had kittens & he named two of the kittens pyramus and thisbe after fictional lovers he and john played and he gave pyramus (the character paul played) to john :|

and literally so much else like all of this and it's not even all of it. it's not even close to all of it. i didn't even get to talk about the way in "get back" the documentary, paul started talking about john leaving the band for yoko and how john would choose her over them and then he got teary eyed, started choke laughing, and then started singing "build me up buttercup" before looking at the cameras and stopping. what the FUCK was that about! IT'S NOT EVEN GETTING INTO THE SONG "TWO OF US" THAT'S SO OBVIOUSLY ABOUT JOHN THAT IT HURTS. it's. it's not even scratching the surface. they were just genuinely insane about each other.

[these-posts-arent-real]

(masterpost link)

:) you know what time it is

#ITSSS CLANBLR TIMEEEE #hEhehehe #i know it's been a while but i am #returninh to a semi-regular post schedule now !!!

18 notes

🔁 🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper reblogged

🐝 beeth--or--something Follow

It is so important to be supportive of queer kits and apprentices. Especially if their parents aren't. They need to know that they aren't broken or wrong. They need to know they can grow up and be happy and loved.

🐝 beeth--or--something Follow

The majorly negative reaction to this post at my "implication" that kits can be queer (not even going to comment on that one... it wasn't implied, it was clearly stated) really worries me. So let's give an example.

I'm not lgbtq+ myself, but my mate is trans. She realized that about herself at three moons old. So don't you DARE pull the "kits can't be queer" fox-dung on me.

#queer #lgbtq+ #queer issues

🥬 rxttencatmint

AHHHH... GUYS. SO UHH. I CAME OUT TO MY MENTOR. AND HE TOOK IT WELL. I mean. I knew he would. But. He even called me by my name. Nobody has. Ever. Called me by my name in real life. Wow.

#trans #transgender #transmasc #he/it/leaf pronouns #trans tom #trans apprentice

🔁 🌊 missingmyscales reblogged

🔥 b-b-b-blaaazr Follow

My FUCKING. DENMATE. WON'T. STOP.

SNORING.

StarClan. He is going to be the death of me. I swear he's started doing it louder on purpose lately after I pointed it out to him.

🪲 i-suffer-from-unfunny Follow

Lmao I started doing that w my denmate cuz he was being a little bitch about my snoring.

🪲 i-suffer-from-unfunny Follow

Wait a min I just noticed ur url... Blazepaw???

🪲 i-suffer-from-unfunny Follow

DUUUDEEEEE ITS MEEE SCARABPAW also frget what I saud on my last rb i def never did that lol i would never

🔥 b-b-b-blaaazr Follow

IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU

#oh starclan... what drama is going on with the windclan apprentices... #○•○scaly rb's○•○

25 notes

🔁 🥬 rxttencatmint reblogged

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Ithunk i atw a bug

#gonna spam rb this one>:) #have everyone remember the time u ate a bug

27 notes

🔁 🥬 rxttencatmint reblogged

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Ithunk i atw a bug

27 notes

🔁  🥬 rxttencatmint reblogged

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Ithunk i atw a bug

27 notes

🔁 🥬 rxttencatmint reblogged

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Ithunk i atw a bug

27 notes

🔁 🥬 rxttencatmint reblogged

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Ithunk i atw a bug

27 notes

🔁 🥬 rxttencatmint reblogged

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

ROTPAW!!@STOP REBLOGGING MY I ATE A BUG POST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@rxttencatmint

🥬 rxttencatmint

No :)

#neveerrrrr

2 notes

🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow

Well. Hi, Tumblr. What have you all been up to?? Hhhhgh. When am i going to be back where I belong..

[ronearoundblindly]

Hi Ro! I know I'm late to this party, but can I get B and F for Steve?

Thank you! 💜

Never too late, darling! This is tumblr, not a job 😁

This one got away with me. It got weirdly sappy for the categories asked, but I went with general Steve from no particular universe here, plus a nondescript part of the timeline or beyond, could even kinda be AU--if you squint--except Steve is definitely famous in some capacity and was small when young. (I just think he happens to look very cuff-able in this gif so we roll with it.)

These dirty asks from this game are aptly titled, so MINORS DNI.

B - Bondage

He can't exactly be tied up, not by anything commercially available, but Steve surprisingly likes the chance to sit still, take a backseat, and enjoy experiencing your enjoyment. He used to be so small. He assumed he'd never have the power he does now.

The restraints, as useless as they are, work as a calming tool to shut off his brain for a while. He's not responsible for anything. That's nice. Very freeing. The act of binding him is in itself roleplay; he's playing small and weak.

He's noticed something else, too.

Over the weeks and months you two have repeated this ritual of tying him up, and you both understand just how much it doesn't remotely hurt him, you've grown...more aggressive with the bonds. It's only when you're tying them--never an ounce of it in anything that follows--but he watches and realizes that you relieve frustration by pulling harder, knotting tighter, heaving around until their just so.

At this point, since Steve can do nothing else, he loves to see it. He's heard short and vague accounts from you, of shitty behavior, of innuendo, of back-handed compliments about how you do so well even with Steve. How his reputation must boost you. How you don't have to work so hard or be good because he'll carry you. How your accomplishments are all tied to him somehow.

It's not true, but they say it. They mean it. Steve can do nothing but let you physically yoke him down in your life, even for a few minutes. The weight it seems to lift from your shoulders is worth any momentary sting he might feel.

No. Steve doesn't mind the bonds at all. He even hates that you can't restrain him for real. He wishes he could give you that. Then people might see that you're just that powerful and you've always been that strong. He had nothing to do with it.

Okay, one sec, let me pull myself together here. YIKES.

IT BECAME ITS OWN FIC! [Entwined]

F - Food Play

[Fools Rush In Steve a.k.a. Sketch is notoriously anti-crumbs-in-the-bed, so he is 1000% not a part of this convo. Sorry, bub.]

YUP. Steve loves to feed you. It's a care thing. He always wants your opinion of all the food on the table, so you have to try everything. Here! Try this. The fork is already by your lips and he's smiling eagerly.

In the bedroom? Oh yes, he is very fond of licking sweet things off you and having them licked off him. It's one of the things that seems to tickle Steve the most--body and soul--and it's so playful. He even gets to lean into having a fast metabolism and needing calories after his workouts. If he drizzles honey or chocolate syrup on you, or hilariously fizzes too much whipped cream out of the canister he has not gotten the hang of yet, then that's a snack and a half. That's multitasking. That's just good time management, ya know?

Savory stuff is for meals and the table though. There's none of that that gets played with during sex. He's never outright said that's a rule, but it seems obvious when there's never been a crossover event.

Super random shout out to Steve having a bit of a thing for champagne and licking it off your neck after he deliberately splashes or pours it there. The bubbles tickle like hell and the cold is so shocking, but whatever, he loves it.

🙄

Thank you for asking!

Ack, I can feel in my bones that the bondage one might end up as a one shot. I am in so much trouble.

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[meanbossart]

Ask Compilation: Advice, influences and Misc.

Apologies for taking so long on some of these, admittedly I'm much more likely to entirely forget about asks that are about me and my interests 💃 Thank you for all the questions regardless! And thank you specially to everyone who just drops nice messages into my inbox out of kindness.

I'm brazillian and a native portuguese speaker!

I'll probably return to twitter eventually, but a) I hate that place and b) It didn't make much sense to me to turn it into a BG3 account out of the blue. I am considering making an Instagram or a new twitter just to have more places where people can follow in case they don't care for tumblr, but it's just been a very busy year so far and so that's kind of low on the list of priorities. If I ever do that I'll be sure to announce it here. Have a nice day yourself!

Sorry to hear that! I've gotten a few messages before about this issue, and the problem is that since I am myself not from the US, my options are also limited :( a lot of patreon alternatives don't work for me because they either don't go through paypal, take insane currency conversion fees, or just straight up block me from signing up.

Speak for yourself, I just assume everyone I speak to online has committed some sort of atrocious crime until proven otherwise. Except for me - of course. I have never done anything bad in my life.

I still have a lot to learn! But I will basically use whatever works for me at the moment, as well as make a sincere effort to learn about musculature and anatomy so I can understand those components and how they move, instead of only knowing what they look like when still - that's how you get better at drawing from memory. Volume mostly comes from coloring and understanding light, which is it's own beast but can very much be learned from similar reference materials and observing it IRL!

My favorite places to get reference are medical diagrams, weird pictures I take of myself, 3D software (often Virt-a-mate) and questionably phrased image google searches.

My favorite artists are Jason Shawn Alexander and Sean Murphy, but I'm not sure how much of it reflects in my art nowadays! I generally seek to pick up techniques from artists rather than to emulate style.

Honestly I love that you guys generally do the thing he would hate the most: take him very non-seriously LOL

I've been in a real Chelsea Wolfe and Amyl And The Sniffers kick lately! But usually you'll also find me listening to stuff like Boy Harsher, Swans, FWF, JK Flesh Lingua Ignota, Nick Cave, David Bowie, and so on. Music for the weird gays, basically.

I went insane and wrote a 23-chapter-long-and-still-ongoing fic in like four months. But also - I'm not that good, I'm just shamelessly pretentious LOL

Hm. That's a good question, but I'm not really sure. Sincerely not trying to be a edgier-than-thou here (in fact, this has made me a little self conscious at one time or another) but a lot of art that I don't mean to be horror-y in nature at all has been associated with the genre. So perhaps I don't know what I'm doing either, LOL.

I think just leaning on making things look slightly "wrong" or "ugly" on purpose is the way, but I also find that if you just seek to depict people as they are instead of idealized versions of themselves, you will arrive at that either way.

Thank you for reading! Honestly, I'm guilty of having not read much at all since I was in my late teens, and the style I'm employing for ANE is very different from the things I would call "influential" for me, or even that I used to enjoy reading at all before. I read a lot of Chuck Palahniuk as a youth (and, no slight to people who do like him still, but nowadays I'm not sure why I ever did. His stories don't speak to me at all anymore) as well a lot of weird experimental lit that I didn't even care to remember the name of. My last book stint from one or two years ago was composed solely of historical and medical literature, and last year I got really into Cormac Mcarthy thanks to the internet.

So, all in all, I'm absolutely all over the place LOL if you put a gun to my head and told me to list my favorite books, I'd say The Indifferent Stars Above and Blood Meridian.

(Consider the reading portion of the question to have been answered above) I really really liked Beau is Afraid and think it's a really great "horror" movie. Sue me.

[hurpdurpburps]

Astoria: Fate's Kiss Is Getting Re-released On 25 July, Here Are Some Things You Should Keep In Mind

Most people don't know it (until now I guess), but I'm the founder of, and have been running the @ls-salvation-squad project since Christmas 2021. I hardly interact with the LS community outside of the project server in a personal capacity as I've largely left the fandom around 6 months before the announcement of the app's closure.

I was pretty late to the game (pun intended), having only learnt about the app in 2020, but managed to be around for 'milestone events' such as the writers' strike and the DMCA rampage on YouTube/tumblr. Thanks to certain friends and technology, I've also had privileged access to a quasi-'insider look' into Voltage's workings (and failings) as a studio, both in real time and through secondhand horror stories of the past.

This culmination of experiences has spurred me to make my first, and last, personal opinion piece regarding LS on tumblr, a corner of the community that I haven't really interacted much with.

While I understand the sheer joy, relief and excitement that comes with revived, legal access to some of the most impressive, unapologetically queer stories to have ever graced the internet, I want to point out the ugly truths that are intertwined with the revival of this troubled app:

Buying the game =/= supporting the creators. Not a cent of your money goes towards them. Even when Voltage USA used to be a thing, barely any of it went towards the employees in general either. The writers were paid 3 cents/word, and producers were working twice as hard but only paid around half of their counterparts in other companies. AFAIK the artists have kept quiet but it would be more of a surprise if they were treated any better than their peers.

Buying the game =/= supporting queer content/community. This might come as a shocker, but homophobia ran rampant within Voltage's management. The best evidence of this can be found in their history of 'peculiar' business or creative decisions - and they've made a fuckton of bad choices. Fun fact; the first queer routes were only made possible via sheer force of will of a particular producer. I'm not at liberty to share the nitty gritty on this public platform as the stories aren't mine, but maybe if you asked some of the former staff nicely, they might give you cryptic hints.

You're gonna be paying them a THIRD time. Many of us have already shelled out hundreds of dollars on heart choices - not once, but twice. Putting the whole version on Steam/Switch had always been a valid option from the beginning of the end, but they chose not to do it. Why? Because users scrambling to make bulk purchases of tickets and hearts to record routes as a last hurrah meant a last, fat cash-in. Not to mention the fact that they're selling the game at US$30 per series, for almost decade-old content, presumably without any new additions. At this point, throwing your hard earned money at them AGAIN is just rewarding scummy management and unscrupulous business models.

Do you really need to? Our team of around 100 archivists worked tirelessly in Q1 of 2022 to provide you high quality recordings of every single route. We've gone so far as to acquire recordings of pre-LS Voltage content such as Queen's Gambit and all of the soundtracks. We've put assets up for download. There are a dozen passionate creators out there who have been updating their Ren'Py recreations so that you can scratch your itch - and all for free!!! What more could you possible want or need that only the greedy bastards at Voltage can give you - apart from seeing your custom MC name on the screen and the absolutely inconsequential choices B & C that our videos didn't cover?

Is this a call for a boycott? I guess not really, or at least I didn't consciously set out to make it like this. Dissuading others from purchasing legal access to media when it's easily available goes against my general principle about responsibly and pragmatically supporting creators. And as one 'em Gays™, I know the preciousness of possessing Queer Stories Written By Queer People.

But I was concerned at what seemed to be a wave of happiness and eagerness at news of the revival, without any mention of the absolute shit show that has led us to this very point. There's a very big part of me that's absolutely pissed at being taken for a ride. News of the revival has been a bittersweet development for us all, especially those who have poured their time, money and energy over the past 2.5 years into salvaging what was thought to be a lost piece of queer media - only to find out that all that effort might only get them a slap to the face in the form of a DMCA from the grave. So yeah, fuck you Voltage.

TLDR: You should really save your money for more ethical, indie developers who have the decency to not mock your consumer intelligence. I don't think it's a crime against humanity if you end up buying it after all, but just think about it yeah?

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Screaming at an Empty Room -

Reintroduction/Update

Hello everyone! Probably too late to do an intro, given that I've been writing on this blog since 2017, but since I've returned after a few years away from writing, I wanted the opportunity to talk about my blog and projects completed and my upcoming plans!

I go by Avaleon everywhere else on the internet, but respond to pretty much anything, including Screaming, hey you, etc! Started this blog in my mid 20s, and aged normally into the early 30s from there. I love writing, have always loved it, but between work and life, it's definitely something that I mostly do late at night and on weekends. I love hearing from people, but I usually answer asks in bunches, and typically right before I post writing. Love hearing about other people's projects as well!

I write short stories, novellas, and occasional full length novels. I am not published, but actively working on self-publishing some of my full length works. Everything I write is posted online, I enjoy sharing my work. The main reason to self publish for me is to have physical copies for myself or anyone who might want one!

My short stories can be found under the #writing tag on my blog. As for the long completed stories, I'll post them below the cut!

Love you Tumblr, happy to be back!

A. Full Length Novels (100,000+ words)

Please Fix the Story!

Description:

I don’t know who I am. I don’t know why I’m trapped in this never ending cycle of rebirth. All I know is that I wake up inside the worlds of unfinished stories, with a mission to accomplish the author’s wishes and stabilize the worlds now headed for destruction. I do my best, hoping, praying that maybe if I complete enough missions, I’ll be able to remember my past and return to my home.

It’s just fixing stories, it should be simple enough.

So can someone explain who this random villain is who keeps following me to each world?

Masterpost linked here

2. I Can’t Eat Love

Description:

Lenora did not have a wonderful life. After her engagement to Prince Ronan is broken, she loses everything… her reputation, her home and her family. Starving on the streets, she dies angry and bitter at how her life unfolded… only to wake up in her old bed, fifteen again, five years before her death. 

Now she must struggle to change her fate, and the fate of the around her. This time she won’t trust in something as flimsy or changeable as love. No, this time she’ll have the power and the money she needs to protect herself. 

Lenora has already lost everything once. She’s not going to lose again. 

No matter the cost. 

Masterpost Linked Here

B. Novellas

I Refuse to be a Named Character

Description:

I woke up inside the world of one of the best selling fantasy book series “Deadly Crown.” Intrigue, handsome heroes, adventure… sounds great, right? Just one problem: all the named characters except the main hero and villain die, are replaced and their replacements die. Being important in this story is a death sentence, so I plan to move to the middle of nowhere, and avoid the plot! 

It should be a fool proof plan, so why do the main characters keep dragging me into the story?

Masterpost Linked Here

2. Living in a Rewrite of my Own Book World

Description:

This is the story about an author who gets hit by a car right before she can finish her bestselling book series. Trapped in the role of a terrible side character antagonist, she must find a way to change the story’s ending. Not just for her own survival, but for the characters that seem just a little too real to be fiction. (30K words)

Masterpost Linked Here

3.Baby’s First Revenge!

Description:

When Charlotte is betrayed and killed by the friend she sacrificed everything for, she thought it was the end. Instead, she found herself reborn as a baby, with her killer still enjoying the fame of stealing her work. Now, she's coming after him, and plans to make him pay... But first, nap time.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

4. The Supervillain’s Daughter

The story of Erica, a girl who finds out that her brother is the kidnapped child of superheroes, and that her parents are villains. Years later she is the best agent in the Villain Suppression Unit, and hates everything to do with superheroes. So of course she isn’t pleased when she is paired with the strongest man alive, especially because she knows him. But with even darker parts of her past surfacing again, she will have no choice but to join forces and save the world. 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

Other smaller works and the incomplete ones can be found on this page

Thanks everyone!

[finleyforevermore]

Vent with religious themes, themes of trauma, suicide, assault, abuse, murder, and depression under the cut. Please, I beg of you, do not read if you are sensitive to any of these topics. Thank you.

Dear God (no, for real this time),

If what has happened in my personal life during this month/late last month has told me anything, it's that either:

A.) you are real and are just very bad at your job

or B.) you AREN'T and I've been praying to a wall for most of my existence

If A is the truth, I've got some words for you. Since you see all or whatever the fuck.

I've questioned your existence many times but I think this year is just it for me. Because looking back on it, you've done nothing of use for me or family this year.

I'd already been pretty committed to seeing things realistically but you letting Radio be taken away from me was the kicker I guess.

Radio/Simon, or @5ampuppetshow for those who aren't aware is currently inactive because its mom found their Tumblr and is now monitoring him. I don't know if/when he'll be back.

You really expect me to believe that YOU, the Almighty, allowed two of my dear friends to be taken away from me a month between each other?? Emory's (@wantmeifyouwantme) parents found his account and now I've lost my virtual big brother, and now you've allowed Simon to be taken away from me.

But why stop at just that? No no we've gotta allow 99% of some of the greatest people I've ever met to be traumatized, suicidal, have low self-esteem, or depressed. Because isn't that delightful? Isn't it so fucking wonderful to have people you love so much be traumatized and suffer beyond belief and lead the boy who has nothing but pure love for them to have many a breakdown over this? /sar

My mom and nana watch these crappy videos from "prophets" talking about "the end" and how everything and everyone is secretly wicked and selling their souls to the devil.

Well riddle me this, Big Guy Upstairs. Where the fuck were you to send me a vision or a sign that Liam was going to fucking kill himself? Where were you to send my friends a prophecy before their Tumblrs were taken away from them? Where were you to stop my friends from being assaulted? Where were you to stop my friends from being abused? Where were you to stop 99% of my friends from having such horrible, unbelievably terrifying trauma? Where were you to stop George Floyd's murder? Or Nex Benedict's? Or Ryan Gainer's? Where are you right fucking now to stop the ruthless murders taking place daily in Palestine? Where were you to stop my mother from marrying my father and save her from 14 years of torture? Where were you when my mom got breast cancer (she's cured now, her doctors were amazing)? Where were you when my father was born? You smited firstborn children in Egypt, you couldn't have killed my father?

My father will remain the worst man I've ever known and will ever know. But putting religion and other beings into the equation, that spot goes right to you.

For my entire life you have done nothing for me. You've done nothing for my family. You've done nothing for my friends. You've shown me utter indifference my entire life.

With every fiber of my being, I hate you.

See you in Hell, I guess,

Finley

[softie-rain]

I just wanted to let tumblr know my personal Sejanus headcanon about his birthday which (selfishly tbh cause it's same as mine) it's October 20th! But I do have proofs to backup my headcanon.

First off, it is canon that Sejanus was born in late October. We know this because when Snow visits (and kills) Dean Highbottom he mentions that on that day it would have been Sejanus' 19th Birthday, and that in the box he has gifts for his parents. It can not be immediately after he comes back to the Capitol because:

a) His hair grew back;

b) In the final scene it's snowing, and Coriolanus stays in District 12 during July/August, so some time must have passed;

Besides, this is also confirmed by Sejanus' wiki page:

Having said this, it could mean that Sejanus is either a libra or a scorpio. Now I'm no expert and you can believe in zodiac signs or not, but I've done a small brief research, and Sejanus does not fit any of the Scorpio traits (if not just very few), which actually relates very well with Coriolanus.

On the other hand Sejanus seems to have much more in common with libras, with characteristics such as being idealistic and having a sense of fairness, to mention the more prominent two (though one would need to do a real full on character's study here).

So when it comes to the specific date, considering wiki page and that libra season ends on October 22nd, his birthday must have been between October 16th and the 22nd. I've decided to go with the 20th just because it's my birthday, and Sejanus means a lot to me, so that is my personal headcanon. But don't come at me if you don't agree with it lol

I'd also like to know your opinions, if you have different views on the matter :) [this is what happens when I get extremely attached to a character btw I do unnecessary studies about him that no one cares about]

[smolwritingchick]

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 94- MAMA Awards 2016 Part 1

Summary: BTS win their first Daesang! Tensions run high when Jen's friendship with Hyuna ends abruptly due to sneak dissing and a scrapped performance. BTS attends the Mama Awards making iconic moments that leave the world shooked.

Words: 13,000+

Genre: Big Jungkook Fluff. A little chaos never hurt anybody :)

Click here for PART 2 of this chapter

Author's note: OK the 3rd Muster chapter isn't done yet, I'll post that next since this was done. The 3rd Muster chapter is basically a filler chapter anyway. So once I come back from taking a smol break I will start writing that and then the following story chapter. This was done and I didn't want to keep it waiting. Kind of been anxious to release it. 

As I addressed during the Bon Voyage season 1 chapter, this should be the last time I write about Hyuna. This idea came up recently and I rolled with it. My ideas changed a bit but I wanted this to just be chaotic af. I wanted to think outside the box and I like what I came up with. Again this smol girl ain't that much of a lyric writer but A for effort. Decided to combine the chapters and make it into the Mama Awards chapter.

I would like Jennie to always have a cool stage for the MAMA Awards. And have fun moments. It's only 2016 in the story and Jennie still has a lot of growing to do but I think this moment I have planned for this chapter is an interesting start to how she speaks up for herself. We got 2017, 18, 19, and the rest of the years for even more character development, wins and failures along the way for her.

Hope you enjoy it! I'd say Beyonce's 7/11 is the inspiration for her stage at MAMA. I love the song so much and the instrumental. Especially the Coachella version. Always a banger. I also loveeee Beyonce's laugh at the end of the Coachella version. So I had to add it for Jennie. It might just be her signature. 

Whenever there are scenes with BlackPink and BTS' Jennie (My character), I'm going to keep BlackPink's Jennie as Jennie during the dialogue while BTS' Jennie will just be called Jen. Hope that won't be too confusing.

Throwback to this funny video when they won at MMA 2016. I remember this video like it was yesterday. Timeless. As I continue to write, I get a little emotional. It was so fun seeing all this in real time.

Again this chapter is split into two parts because I couldn't fit all of it in one post. So this is part one.

Have an awesome day! Super excited for Jin to return from enlistment! Not much longer now!

------------

'BREAKING! MAMA 2016 Collaboration with Cube's Hyuna and Big Hit's Jennie scrapped!'

Jennie frowned at the article as she sat by her desk in the Smartie Factory. It was crazy how things abruptly changed. Lately, Jennie and Hyuna weren't on speaking terms and issues have been occurring for a while.

It all started with the sneak dissing that Jennie had found out on her Tumblr. She loved scrolling through the tag of her name and came across a fairly popular post regarding Hyuna attending a few variety shows and interviews.

"Unlike the others, I don't need to repeatedly say I'm the best from head to toe. You already see it," made ARMY think about Jennie's War of Hormone lyrics.

"Some rookies can be a bit much. Some like to try to overshine a veteran,"

"Some girls in this industry are a bit too fragile. I don't need to call myself bulletproof,"

"You mean the original version of How's This,"

These were just a handful of statements said by Hyuna and ARMY immediately speculated she was throwing shade at Jennie.

'Uhhhh did Hyuna just sneak diss, Jennie? Am I freaking out over nothing? That bulletproof and glass line was SUS,' one comment said.

ARMY went on to do more research and they immediately figured out that there was some sort of animosity in Hyuna's words and it caused confusion in the fandom.

"The hell...?" Miss Bangtan murmured as she read about it and even saw her and Hyuna trending on Twitter.

Her stomach dropped and she felt hurt by the words. It confused her as to why she would say these things. Deciding to go straight to the source, she messaged Hyuna on KakaoTalk.

Jen: Ummmm what's going on sis? We got a problem or something? If so let's address it now. Call me when you're free

But hours later, still no reply. What officially solidified the fact that there was an issue was when Jennie facetimed Hayoon about it.

"I'm trying to contact her so we can settle this shit now instead of over the internet. But I haven't gotten a response. I don't know how this happened. I didn't even do anything. I know we haven't talked in a while, but damn,"

And that was when Hayoon informed her what was going on from what she heard. She and other people have been overhearing her talking about how upset she was that she would be sharing the stage with Jennie for How's This. She wanted to perform it alone and on top of that felt bothered by the fact that the duet music video with Jennie started to get way more views than the original video.

"I mean it got more views because ARMY loves to support every member of Bangtan. They were bound to have the views boost," Jennie exclaimed on Facetime while Hayoon nodded. "That's one of the amazing things about them. They watched that video for me and I'm grateful but damn, is it that deep? So, she doesn't want to share the stage with me and is feeling some type of the way that her original music video didn't have that many views? Ma'am, if that was a problem, instead of throwing shots, why not talk to me face to face and express yourself? All this childishness for what?"

"I know. It's ridiculous," Hayoon said with a frown. "I had to distance myself from her. I didn't like the things she was saying. And I even talked to her about it but she blew me off and said she didn't care,"

Jennie sighed and shook her head. "Annoying...thanks for telling me...wow...the switch up is crazy...I just don't understand,"

"Of course. Still no reply?"

Jennie went to check back on the app and scoffed. "Did this bitch block me?!"

"What?! No way!"

"Wowwww. So, it's like that? Okay. I can't even contact her anymore...this is making me start to have trust issues a little bit. Like we were so close. We would hang out and talk often...I trusted her with a lot of shit, too. I hope she doesn't spill anything personal. Because now I'm thinking about my relationship,"

"As much as I dislike her attitude, I don't think she'll spill anything especially when she is dating E'Dawn privately,"

"Yeah...I'm not going to air her dirty laundry and talk about how she got a rookie boyfriend and shit. That's unfair to E'dawn and his future career as an idol,"

"Agreed. No need to get him involved. I believe she won't involve Jungkook as well, so no need to worry,"

Jennie sighed. "When I see her at one of these award shows I'll confront her. This is ridiculous,"

"Some kind of girl's girl she is. So close to award season, too? She should not be trying to paint you as this bad person,"

"Yeah...I just don't know how long it's going to take for the public to understand how grimy she is,"

As the news of her performance with Hyuna wasn't happening anymore, Cube Entertainment and even Mnet made the excuse that they felt like Jennie was not ready to perform with Hyuna and was a bit difficult to work with. Which was a load of bull and lots of fans saw through the BS. However, Big Hit responded in defense of her saying that she was ready, was very easy to work with and it was their loss on the collaboration.

It warmed her heart to see the company come to her defense and say she would prove doubters wrong on BTS' stage at the MAMA Awards. Hearing the news that the collaboration was scrapped made her feel down since she had been so excited to perform with someone she looked up to for many years. G-Dragon's words still rang through her mind that not everyone is your friend in the industry and the switch ups are crazy.

Now back to reality, Jennie continued to sit by her desk, deep in thought about the situation. All she wanted to do was speak to her like an adult and squash whatever issue she had with her. But with her being blocked, it was clear she wanted nothing to do with Jennie.

It had been days since the first set of disses along with lyric changes to throw shots at her and the lack of response from Jennie had everyone talking.

People commented:

'Unbothered. I like that,'

'Hyuna cooked you!'

'Everything she said about Jennie was true,'

'Rookie! Hyuna is better than you!'

'So, are you going to respond to HyunA?'

'Damn, still no response?'

'Jennie is known for her impressive stage presence at MAMA. They could have been a powerful duo if egos didn't get in the way. Something ain't right,'

'LOL Hyuna won by default. She is taking forever to respond. Is she scared?'

'Get in the booth, Jennie. Or are you taking the L?'

'So, you just gonna let her talk shit about you like that?'

'Jennie doesn't have to respond to anything.'

'I hate how you guys are instigating this drama.'

'No response is a response, Jennie!'

'Does Miss Bangtan need her bulletproof boy scouts to help her with this one?'

'I bet Jennie is the problem. Because she and Hyuna were great friends. She must have done something wrong...'

'Time to stop hiding behind your boys, woman up and respond to your senior.'

'Respect queen Hyuna!'

'You should be lucky she even asked you to collaborate.'

'ARMY gets on my nerves. They like to spam and stream everything for bragging rights. That music video didn't deserve to get higher views than the OG!'

'Yikes...going after one of the chillest people in the K-Pop industry is not wise because if Jennie responds I bet not hear shit that she was disrespectful when Hyuna started this first. And don't try to say respect your seniors.'

'Y'all are a little too comfortable being rude to Jennie on her page...'

'Hyuna started it and Jen will finish it. Watch!'

'Hyuna is being a bit too bold running her mouth.'

'Of all people when you have Bangtan backing her? And other idols who are close friends with her? I don't understand the logic.'

'Hyuna is untouchable in the industry, no idols will come to her aid,'

'I doubt any idol will defend Jennie from Hyuna. She should handle this herself.'

'Bangtan shouldn't always have to fight her battles. She should handle this by herself,'

'Jennie handles business. She'll respond,'

Still, on social media, she saw herself getting tagged in a lot of Hyuna stuff. Come to find out she was still sneak dissing and her stans were eating it up and defending her. However, ARMY was not too happy about the abrupt attitude change and shade thrown at Miss Bangtan.

"Do you want me to say something?" Yoongi asked, who sat next to her, ready to defend her honor.

"Yoongi...no," she firmly said as she turned to him.

"The situation is so grimy. Like damn, the bitch can't share the stage with you on her song that she wanted you to be on in the first place? Why bother asking to collab?" Angelina spoke up, sitting on the couch with Namjoon. "Did she think it wasn't going to go well? She underestimated the power of ARMY's support and your talent as an artist. Those comments on that YouTube video were mainly about you, Jennie. You outshined her in the music video and she was mad about it and has been holding it in for a while. The bitch is jealous,"

"I'm just confused and thrown off by everything. Like I thought we were friends—"

"Well, she's not your friend," Angelina firmly cut Jennie off, getting upset about Hyuna. "A friend doesn't sneak diss. Fuck her,"

"Are you going to let her just bash your name like this in public?" Namjoon asked.

"She is South Korea's IT girl. Everyone loves her. And if I respond...I have a feeling I'll be public enemy number one. You know how the media is gonna twist this and make me the bad guy," Jennie reminded.

"Jen, I love your calmness. You know I'll be ready to fight somebody if someone did that to me. Diss tracks would already be on standby to release," Angelina added. "I wish I had your calmness, right now, as we speak. But stop being nice,"

"I'm not trying to be! I'm not! I'm not being nice, I'm trying to wrap my head around being blindsided! I'm getting annoyed, now..." she sighed out of frustration.

"Good. Write about it,"

"Listen, I shouldn't cause Bangtan any drama. Award season is coming up...I can't be taking the attention off of us at the award shows. I don't even want to be involved in this drama...why can't I just have some genuine celebrity friends, that won't get mad over petty shit, like this? I'm getting PTSD from Hailey and that took a while to heal from,"

"Munchkin, you're not causing drama for us," Hobi spoke up with his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall, next to the couch. "I know you're thinking of the negatives but the positives outweigh it. You should respond,"

"And you know that people love you, too. She is not the only beloved K-Pop idol, in the world," Yoongi affirmed. "You've been making a positive name for yourself with us as BTS. ARMY and us will not stand for the slander. I want you to write about it all,"

"Turn this negative into a positive," Namjoon reminded.

"Diss track incoming?" Angelina smiled.

Jennie let the rappers' words sink in as she glanced at all of them. They had a point. She couldn't just let her bash her name like this out of nowhere. On top of that, she didn't want to hear anything about being respectful to her seniors when she was getting disrespected unprovoked. It bothered her when people think they can talk to younger people in any type of way. Respect should be a mutual thing.

"For now, don't bother engaging in the drama on social media. Don't respond to any of it online. Continue to go about your day like normal," Namjoon suggested.

"Yeah...okay. You're right. All of you," Jen replied. "I can't let her just get away with talking shit and not saying it directly to my face. Especially when she didn't even want to respond to my messages and blocked me. She needs to get checked,"

"Good. I'm looking forward to this," Hobi smiled.

"You and I both," Yoongi revealed his gummy smile.

Jennie chuckled and turned to Namjoon. "This reminds me a little bit of the Bobby situation and your diss at MAMA 2014. But yours was more of entertainment. Unlike this,"

The leader chuckled at that and nodded. "Yeah. Well, what are you going to do, now?"

"Handle it," she firmly responded and grabbed her notebook.

"Best news I've heard all day. Get writing," Angelina broke out into a big smile, as the others agreed.

"Mama Awards 2016. Speak your truth, there. Let's talk to the staff later about everything," Namjoon recommended.

"Okay," Jennie nodded, liking that idea. "I'll show you what I have when I'm done. Can I be alone, please? To work?"

The boys respected her decision and left her to work while Angelina stayed behind with Namjoon waiting for her outside the studio.

"Word of advice? Try the 8 Mile method. The stealing thunder strategy. You remember the movie and the final rap battle with Eminem?" Angelina asked as she got off the couch.

"Yeah. I've watched it a few times. That's not a bad idea. I'll work on it,"

"Good. Happy writing. Just make sure you eat, okay? Don't be stuck here, all day. I'll be with the others,"

"Don't worry, I'll take breaks. See you,"

After Angelina left, Jennie got started with writing. She also began going through her vault of music files she created over the years to pick which one to perform her rap with.

Rapping…kind of scary to think that this is what it would come to. Yoongi had been an amazing mentor. If Hobi could learn how to rap when he had no background in it, she could too. The amount of faith the rap line had in her to encourage her to respond to Hyuna in this way was a big deal. It was a deal that she could not mess up.

As she proceeded to work, her dog Tony slept quietly on the dog bed in the corner, tired out from playing around with the members a few hours earlier. Jennie occasionally glanced at the adorable dog with a smile while she worked. Miss Bangtan worked for hours, doing research, writing, and analyzing Hyuna's recent interviews regarding her. So engrossed in her work, she jumped slightly when she heard a series of knocks at her door.

"Who?" she asked out loud.

"Your Golden Boyfriend. Jeon Cena!"

"Enter my realm, my love," she smiled and turned her seat around to see him walking in with a few bags of food. "Hey!"

"Hi. I figured you were hungry so I bought food for us," he set the bags on the desk and grabbed a seat to sit next to her.

"It smells so good, thanks," she kissed him sweetly.

Getting a good look at her, he noticed she was wearing one of his hoodies which made him smile. The way it was oversized on her made her look even more cute.

"Any time. And your package of Smarties came. I grabbed a few bags so I can fill up your bowl,"

"You are the best!" she squealed happily and kissed him again before planting multiple kisses all over his cheek, making him giggle.

After he filled up the bowl, he gently grabbed her hand to stop her from reaching out to grab a few pieces.

"Ah-ah! What are you doing?" he called out.

"Helping myself to my smarties?"

"Nah. Food first. Let's eat,"

"What? Oh, come on. Babe, don't do that,"

"Food first. Smarties after," he released her hand.

"They're small, they're not going to spoil my stomach,"

"Food, honey," he grinned, opening the platter of chicken for them to eat. "Take a break,"

"Fine. I should take a break, anyway," she stretched and closed her notebook, placing it to the side. "Game of Thrones?"

"Yeah, we stopped at Season 5, right?"

"Hm hm. The first episode," she set everything up on one of her monitors.

"Hyung told us what you're working on. I'm glad you're going to go through with it. It's not fair,"

She smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah…I just wished she talked to me,"

"She'll realize the mistake she made when you respond. I'm looking forward to seeing what you say. You always have a way of showing off your craft during the MAMA Awards. ARMY will be in for a treat,"

"Thanks. I hope to do it justice. I've been thinking about a lot…especially with the new year coming up. I think my New Year's Resolution for 2017 is to…be more cautious of who I trust and who I open up to. To see my childhood friends again when we go on tour and write songs in a more positive light. I think that'll be a pretty good start,"

He leaned over to kiss the side of her head. "I like that. That is a good start,"

---------

The day of the Melon Music Awards was finally here and backstage was lively as everyone went through rehearsals. Jen was excited to see familiar faces again as she strolled backstage. She let out a deep breath when she finally saw Hyuna who had finished talking with a staff member. Jen had been seeing her all day but whenever she'd get close, Hyuna would rush off.

Not anymore.

As Jen approached her, she knew people were watching her every move, wondering what might happen. Keeping her head up high, she finally came face to face with her.

"You got something to say to me?" Jen questioned as she looked at her with a frown.

Hyuna looked a little surprised and took a step back.

"Nothing at all," she replied with a fake smile.

"Are we going to talk like adults or are you gonna run, again? Where's that energy when you were taking shots at me on that variety show?" she asked and tilted her head to the side when she didn't reply. "If you don't want to be friends anymore, that's cool. I don't care. But I don't appreciate you going out of your way to talk shit about me and lying on my name. Blocking me so we can't speak on the phone? That is mad corny,"

"Jennie, you're causing a scene," she brought up as noticeably more people were being nosy and watching the confrontation.

"I do not care, stop trying to change the subject. What is with you throwing shade like ARMY and I wouldn't notice? Even talking about how difficult I am to work with? The fuck? Do we have a problem?"

"Do we?"

It took all the strength Jen had to not pop her in the head right then and there with the way she sarcastically responded. Hyuna was playing games and it was getting harder for Jen not to put her hands on her. MAMA Awards couldn't come fast enough.

"Keep my name out of your mouth. I'm not telling you again. Are we clear?" Jen demanded with a glare.

"Crystal."

After walking away and calming down, Jen informed the members about the nonsense. It annoyed them with the way Hyuna responded and highly anticipated Jen's performance at the MAMA Awards to set her straight. It was going to be worth the wait.

As the show was about to start, Jen went to the women's bathroom and as she came out to wash her hands, she saw BlackPink primping in the mirror and talking amongst themselves about how excited they were for the show.

Jennie gasped in happiness and turned around with a bright smile. "Hi! Oh my gosh, we've been looking for you!"

The sudden burst of excitement surprised Jen as she stood by the four girls who were happily smiling after she dried her hands. Once it officially registered that she was in front of BlackPink, Jen grinned widely.

"Hey! You're BlackPink! Wow! Hi! Oh my gosh, wow, y'all look so beautiful!"

"So do you!" Jisoo beamed as they all bowed.

"Hi, I'm Jennie. Jennie Walker," Jen introduced herself.

"Nice name. Hi, I'm Jennie. Jennie Kim," Jennie giggled with her and held her hands.

"Thank you. Nice name!"

"Thanks! It's nice to catch you before the show. It's really nice to meet you,"

"It's nice to meet you, girls, too!"

"Hi~! I'm Rosé!"

"I'm Lisa!"

"And I'm Jisoo!"

After releasing Jennie's hands, Jen spoke, "You girls are amazing! It's great watching you ladies thrive. I love your songs and I can't wait to see you perform, tonight,"

"Thank you! We've seen your dance videos of our songs. You perform it so well. Maybe you should be the fifth member," Jisoo giggled.

"I'd love to but Bangtan would be upset," she teased, as the girls laughed.

They were all so sweet. Their friendly energy matched so well with Jen's as they all vibed and immersed themselves in bathroom girl talk. As Jen had her eyes on Jisoo, she pointed out that her beauty was on a whole new level. Photos and videos didn't do her justice.

"Can we hug? Are you ladies ok with that? I'm like such a hugger these days but I like to ask before touching," Jen asked kindly.

"Of course!" Lisa beamed and went right in to embrace her with the rest of the girls.

"Are you ladies excited for tonight?" Jen asked.

"Nervous! But very excited. It should be a fun show. The dress rehearsal went well," Rosé replied.

"You ladies are gonna kill it. Have fun with it! Go out there and show them that BlackPink ain't playing around,"

Jen's encouragement seemed to have pumped them up as they smiled brightly and thanked her.

"You're close with Bam Bam, right? He's one of my good friends," Lisa spoke up.

"Yeah! I love him! He's the best and one of the funniest guys ever. He's a piece of work, huh?" Jen chuckled.

"He is! I hope we can all hang out sometime,"

"Yeah, I'd love that. We have a 97 Liner group chat we can add you and Rosé in! We're trying to see when we can have another get together. Even if it's just a handful of us. I have the WINGS tour coming up so it'll probably be a long while until Jungkook and I can participate in any hangouts. But we'll be there in spirit if the group plans something in our absence,"

"Being in the group chat sounds like fun. It'll be nice to get to know the others who were born in the same year. You'll introduce us?" Rosé asked.

"Yeah! I got you! You have to meet Hayoon. She is one of the sweetest girls you'll ever meet. So down to earth. She can be a little shy but give her some time and she'll open up to you. When you see her show off her real personality she gets very intense when playing games. Especially card games,"

Lisa and Rosé giggled at that.

"G-Dragon speaks highly of you. I always see him at YG and when we catch up he always brings you up," Jennie added.

"He talks about me to you?" Jen's eyes lit up.

Jen remembered that Jennie worked with G-Dragon before, being in one of his music videos. And Rosé even worked with him, on a song. It made her heart soar that he spoke highly of her. She hoped that one day she could collaborate with him as well. They brought it up a few times but she wanted to continue to improve her craft as an artist before working with him on music. She wanted to be at her best to sing with someone as legendary as him.

"Yeah! He told us he took you under his wing. I remember him saying how determined you looked when you approached him at K-Con. He admired your drive to take action. The way you did not hesitate to ask for advice on how to be a better performer. He also told us you are someone he trusts and that you are authentic," Rosé added.

"Wow...I am honored, my gosh," Jen let out a breath and placed her hands over her heart.

"Can I just say I love the move that you do with Jungkook during Blood, Sweat and Tears!? That flip and spin? It's so good!" Lisa said excitedly. "I want to try to do it during a dance practice but your chemistry with him is something that cannot be duplicated. I've studied dance covers of your little duet and it's clear that the move was meant for you two. I admire your passion when dancing,"

"Aw really? Thank you! I admire your passion for dancing, too! You be killing it on stage! You move with such grace and power, I get blown away every time, girl. I need to learn a thing or two from you,"

"We should practice together, sometime!"

"I'd be down!"

Their conversation was cut short when they heard an announcement that the show was about to begin.

"Before we go to our seats, can we take a selfie?" Jisoo suggested.

"Yeah! Let's do it!" Jen cheered.

Jisoo took out her phone and held the camera up high while the girls crowded around Jen. With all of their face cards on point, the selfie turned out beautifully as they posed with peace signs, kissy faces, and bright smiles.

"Oh, we cute, cute! Send this to me!" Miss Bangtan requested.

After exchanging numbers with the girls, the five of them went to their seats with fansites filming and noticing them together. Seeing the sight made ArmyBlinks excited that they finally met and hoped they take pictures.

---------

As the show began, Jennie sat with Bangtan as the camera occasionally caught her exciting reactions which would make Armies cheer. Jennie happily cheered and lip synced Blackpink's lyrics with fans noticing how Rosé biased she was.

When it was time for Bangtan to perform BST, audience members and idols anticipated JenKook's signature move but they didn't perform it this time and did different choreography. The disappointment was evident on some idols' faces as they whispered amongst themselves about them not doing their move as well as fans.

"No~! I wanted to see the spin," Lisa whined. "Why didn't they do the spin?"

"I know! I wonder why they decided to change the choreography," Jisoo pouted.

"Damn, no spin?" Zico wondered.

"Darn, they didn't do it? What changed?" Kai wondered with EXO.

Fans tweet:

'Are you fucking serious!? Jennie and Jungkook wtf!? I am PISSED!'

'JenKook y'all had ONE JOB!! ONE!! We wanted the spin!'

'I know these damn babies did not skip their highly anticipated dance move of BST,'

'I stayed up all night only for them not to do the spin!? Big Hit, I'm about to sue! Count your MF days!'

'Who scrapped the spin!? I wanna fight! #BringBackTheSpin'

'LISTEN!! If it ain't broke don't fix it! Nothing and I mean NOTHING needed to be changed in JenKook's duet. Keep it like it is! It was perfect! #BringBackTheSpin'

Backstage after their performance, Jungkook laughed at the flooded tweets from Armies and other fans. They all were complaining about them not doing the dance move and it surprised him to see how much viewers enjoyed the unique move. The couple wanted to do something a little different for the Melon Music Awards but clearly, their decision did not sit well with everyone which amused them.

Jungkook tweeted for damage control, 'Ah...we didn't do the spin this time. Sorry ARMY. We will do it next time,'

Immediately fans replied:

'Y'all better! That move is generational!'

'What were y'all thinking switching it up!? We better get nothing but sexiness the next time y'all do it! I am so serious!'

'Bullying works guys!!'

'Y'all know better!'

'OH ARD! That's what I thought. You two better raise the bar next time!'

'GOOD! It better be sexy af the next time you two perform it! I need my JenKook crumbs!'

'I hope the next time they do the move they take it up a notch. Their chemistry has me glued to my screen!'

'THANK YOU!!'

As the show was drawing to a close, she sat in between Yoongi and Taehyung while they watched the presenters call the nominees for album of the year. In Jennie's mind, she assumed EXO was going to win it. EXO had been powerhouses for their albums and the big 3, JYP, SM, and YG always swept these big awards. However, it was an honor to even be nominated in the category for The Most Beautiful Moment In Life: Young Forever album.

She sat, relaxed, already ready to applaud EXO for winning the award as she waited for the presenter to say it.

"2016 Melon Music Award Best Album of the Year goes to...BTS!"

The sound of the group's name caused Bangtan to widen their eyes, looking at each other in utter disbelief.

Did they REALLY just call BTS the album of the year winners!? WHAT!?

Idols around them stood up, equally surprised that a group not from the big 3 won the award as they applauded them. GFriend cheered happily, bouncing up and down as Hayoon yelled cheerfully for Jennie. Namjoon immediately stood up, stunned by the announcement.

"Oh s—" Hobi shouted in shock.

Jennie sat in her seat dumbfounded as she looked around, glancing at the members who equally had the same shocked expression.

"What the f—" she stopped herself as she covered her mouth, trying to process the news that Bangtan had just won their first Daesang.

Daesang...they won a Daesang!

"We won? We won!?" she slowly stood up once the rest of the boys did.

Armies around the venue cheered and screamed as they waved their ARMY bombs in celebration.

"Ahhhh Jennie looks so surprised!" Hayoon giggled to her group before quickly rushing over to embrace her.

It started to become a tradition for these two to find each other to hug, high five, or do something whenever they won an award. Hayoon grabbed her hands and jumped up and down excitedly with her.

"BTS did it! BTS won! I'm so happy for you!" she beamed, pulling her in for another tight hug.

"Holy shit, what the hell is happening!? Is this real!?" Jennie exclaimed, hugging her tightly.

"Yes! Go up there!" she laughed and lightly pushed her forward after pulling away.

Jennie adjusted herself and began walking up to the stage with the rest of the group as they bowed to everyone. She walked with Hobi and Suga as a bright smile came across her beautiful face, feeling her heart pound. As they made it to the stage with Namjoon holding the award, she stood in between Jin and Hobi.

"ARMY! Thank you!" Namjoon shouted on the mic with a big smile as he tried to control his overwhelming emotions.

Seeing Jin start to cry made Jennie begin to rub his back to comfort him. She did her best not to cry herself as she soaked in this moment with the boys. Noticing Hobi looking like he was about to cry, she went to rub his back too, comforting him.

"We have received the best award since our debut here at the Melon Awards. Bang Sihyuk PD-nim, Big Hit Entertainment, parents and friends who have helped us, I want to thank them again and ARMYs, I love you! ARMY, I LOVE YOU!" Namjoon shouted with elation.

After he finished his speech, the members all went in for a big group hug. They all had big smiles on their faces, feeling euphoric from this victory. When they make it backstage, they are still stunned and thrilled that they won the award with a Bangtan Bomb camera filming them.

"Wow really...wow," Namjoon spoke, still processing everything.

"I was so surprised," Jungkook said on camera.

"We weren't anticipating it. We really weren't expecting it. We weren't even expecting it one bit,"

"Thank you so so much. We were so shocked,"

"We won! We won~! I still can't believe it!" Jennie squealed and shook the camera. "Thank you so much!"

Noticing Hobi's tears running down his cheeks with the foundation running down too, Jennie embraced him tightly while the camera filmed them.

"I know...I know..." she murmured. "I'm so proud of us,"

"Army, thank you so much!" Jin said on camera with his tear stained face while Jennie released Hobi. "Thank you, Army! Thank you, Army!"

"Bring it in," she outstretched her arms for Jin and he immediately kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly.

"She gives the best hugs," he told the camera.

After they returned to their seats, Jennie sat in between Hobi and Jin to continue to watch the show while pulling themselves together. As EXO closed the show, she watched their performance in admiration.

"I wonder what it would be like to close an award show," Jennie wondered out loud with a smile.

Jin listened and began to speak as she looked up at him. "I believe that one day we will get the opportunity. If we can get this Daesang then this is just a step forward in achieving more as a group,"

"Yeah. We will, for sure,"

After the show, they took photos with the trophy and hugged the staff members as they continued to celebrate. Once Angelina found Jennie, she ran and jumped on her, making them both fall to the floor as they laughed.

"Ah~! I am so proud of you! BTS did it! BTS won album of the year!" she began giving Jennie multiple kisses all over her face as she continued to laugh.

After they got up, they embraced tightly, getting emotional.

"Wow, look at you! Thriving in BTS! That album deserved album of the year! It has bangers on top of bangers. This is your motherfuckin' moment, sis! Enjoy it!"

"Thank you! And thank you for being here to support us," Jen murmured against her shoulder.

"You know I'm always going to be there for you just like you are with me. You're stuck with me for life, sis. This win is only the beginning. Watch Bangtan soar to new heights after this! You better enjoy the damn ride, it's gonna be a fun one!"

After pulling away, Angelina wiped Jennie's tears.

"I'm not gonna lie, I thought EXO was gonna win it. When they said BTS I was like what!?" Jen continued to ramble as the camera person for the Bangtan bomb began to film the other members to get their thoughts.

Later on, Jennie sat down on a chair and took in some deep breaths to pull herself together while Jin and Jimin rubbed her back.

"I'm okay...I'm alright...wow...this feels like a dream. This feels like a freaking dream," she sighed.

She shook her head and started praying, thanking the Lord for this moment as emotions came over her again. Tears ran down her cheeks as she whispered to herself, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

After she was done praying, she looked up and smiled at the guys when they all went to comfort her. "We did it. We really did it. This is amazing. Wow...over the big frickin' 3!? Blessed! I am so proud of us! Thank you. All of you for making this experience so fun and rewarding,"

"Your family is on the line!" Angelina beamed and handed Jen her phone to reveal her parents and sisters on facetime.

It was wholesome hearing them scream and cheer for Bangtan. The boys even jumped in to say hello and thanked them for their support.

"Ok now that we got the celebrations out of the way, why in the hell didn't you and Jungkook do the spin!?" Jennie's mom complained causing Bangtan and Angelina to laugh.

"Yeah! We were looking forward to it!" Alani frowned.

"You guys need a redo! ASAP!" Vienna added.

"I admit I was looking forward to seeing it and felt my world crashing down when it didn't happen," Jennie's dad spoke up.

"You are so dramatic!" Jennie laughed. "Not you all mad we didn't do this spin, tonight,"

"We'll do it next time," Jungkook grinned. "We promise!"

"You two better. I'll be watching," Jennie's dad pointed at them.

--------------

Days later, Namjoon was in his studio doing a V-Live to catch up with ARMY. As the live went on with fun and engaging moments, he then started to talk about Jennie. A proud smile appeared on his face as he thought of her.

"Jennie is the best. She has been improving a lot behind the scenes and continues to keep a good head on her shoulders. When I first saw her, I was watching the audition for the Bangtan Girl for BTS. She stood out to me because of her outfit choice." He chuckled. "She looked like she was going to wreck someone. I had my head down, so I would listen closely to each person's lyrics created for bulletproof, while V was next to me. As soon as I heard her verse, I had to look up. I know she was probably a bit stressed getting hit with a bombshell of creating a verse for the song over a weekend and presenting it on a Monday but she made it work and she impressed me. When I met her, I thought she was very determined and cute. She's like a little sister to me. And I feel like a proud big brother watching her improve every day in her skills. Ah...I'm getting too personal, am I? Sorry,"

His eyes scanned the comments flowing in.

'Awwww keep going, it's okay! This is so cute!'

'NamJen forever! Best bond in Bangtan!'

'Awwwww he looks like a proud big brother!'

'Thank you for always taking care of Jennie!'

'My baby Jennie and the best leader Namjoon! Thank you for being there for her!'

'Thank you for being a great leader to her!'

"I just want to be the best leader for her. And I want to be that strength she needs to keep pushing forward. She has improved so much over the years. She was so timid when it came to filming music videos, but after filming videos like Dope, Fire, and Blood, Sweat & Tears, I've seen her confidence and charisma grow. I may not understand what it's like to move and work in another country like she did but she has really opened up and become more comfortable here. She's fully adjusting to South Korea. And I'm very proud of her. All of Bangtan is,"

As he continued his live, someone knocked on his door and he turned around. Announcing the person to come in, Jennie strolled in with a bright smile and a plate of cookies.

"Hey! Here, I just made them. I'm going around delivering cookies before working in my studio,"

"For me!? Really!? Oh, this is a great surprise. I'll help myself to these now," he thanked her and took the plate to place on his desk. "You need to open up a bakery,"

"I want to! I wouldn't mind going to culinary school or something. I'd love to make my own business and open up a bakery, one day. We'll see what the future holds. Oh, you on live? Hey, ARMY! I miss you, guys! How are ya?" She waved and read the comments.

'Jennie!!'

'Hi, mom!'

'She baked again!!'

'Jennie, I love you!'

'Do the spin with Jungkook!'

'Do the move with Kookie!'

'JenKook spin for MAMA!'

'JenKook move!'

'Why didn't you do the move at Melon!?'

'Ma'am we want answers about Melon! What happened to the spin!?'

"Yo...." she began to laugh out loud at the comments. "Not y'all roasting me again for not doing the spin. It's been a week! Is it that serious? Oh my gosh,"

Namjoon started to laugh at the comments too, amused that this has become such a big deal in the fandom. When he heard even idols were asking about the spin, it was clear that JenKook had a chokehold in the industry with their strong chemistry.

"ARMY has been a little upset about that," he brought up.

"A little? They spamming my Instagram, too. I didn't think it was going to cause this much of a fuss. You guys really like our signature move?"

Comments rushed in:

'DUH!'

'The way you two dance together are goals!'

'YES GIRL!'

'I can't with her lmfao.'

"Look forward to MAMA, okay? I gotta go but cheer us on at MAMA. Everything will be worth the wait. See ya!" she beamed and left.

----------

The day of the MAMA Awards was finally here. The day Jennie anticipated the most. She had a good feeling about this show and was excited to show off her hard work with what she had planned. The morning of the show, she decided to tweet one simple word along with an eyebrow raising hashtag.

'Bet. #GonBeAnInteresting24Hours #Jen' 

Jennie had been a trending topic on Naver and various K-Pop news outlets, which caused people to anticipate the MAMA Awards even more to see what might happen and if she may respond to Hyuna. Her silence on the matter had been a hot topic and now with her tweet going viral, fans stirred in a frenzy.

People tweeted:

'Uh oh!'

'Woke up and chose violence I see. Now I have to stay up and tune in. What time does the show start again EST time??'

'She broke her silence!'

'She's about to get her lick back!'

'Hyuna has not realized what she had done and is about to face the consequences,'

'Aw, shit...'

'She is about to piss people off and I'm going to love every second of it,'

'No matter what happens and no matter what you do, we will always love you, Jennie!'

'You about to respond!?'

'Hyuna is attending the show, too!! Uh oh....'

'Guys...I think something big is about to happen. Bigger than what we may think. Something is gonna go down tonight,'

'I'm so scared for tonight. Jennie, what are you about to do?'

Already in her short ruffled white dress, her hair was put up in a bun with hair on the side as she sat to get her makeup done. She also wore a small daisy pin for good luck thanks to G-Dragon gifting it to her on her birthday.

"Jen, what can viewers anticipate from you, tonight?" J-Hope asked with a grin as he was getting filmed for their MAMA 2016 Bangtan Bomb.

Glancing up, she smiled. "Expect the unexpected,"

-----

As the members got out of the car for the Red Carpet, they were met with loud screams, photography, and cheers with the MCs announcing their arrival. Jimin held out his hand for Jennie to take and he aided her out of the car.

"Thanks, Chim," she smiled warmly.

It was awesome to see international fans travel to the MAMA Awards. She tried to wave and make eye contact with every fan she could. Peeping some of her fansites made her heart soar. The dedication they had for her did not go unnoticed. Miss Bangtan heard her name get shouted, making her turn to who it was as the fan giggled excitedly and waved. She waved back and grinned as the fan was happy to have caught the moment on their phone.

The group proceeded to walk and made it to where the MCs were, standing on the stage.

"It's BTS, who are taking the world by storm, that is entering, right now. They're a group with perfect performances and won an award for producing their own albums,"

No matter what, Jennie didn't think she'd get used to all the screaming and cheering. It was like each event they attended, the screams got louder and she came to realize Bangtan was really moving up. It was a beautiful thing.

As Jungkook walked closely behind her, he caught a whiff of her perfume. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, smiling softly, enjoying the scent.

"You smell nice," he murmured, opening his eyes.

She glanced back at him and smiled. "Thank you. Hayoon got me some new perfume for my birthday. I like it,"

"I like it, too. You should keep wearing it,"

"I will,"

She stood in between Jimin and Jungkook as the group did their greeting and struck a pose just for the fans.

"Today since we are here at MAMA, we personally would like to hear some good news," Namjoon said on the mic.

"We are just one month away from 2017. Can we ask what plans you have?" The MCs asked.

"We're planning a fanmeet in Japan," Jin answered. "And we're working hard on music production so please look forward to it,"

Just a short while away before the show began with idols heading to their seats, Hyuna made her way to the stage and sat in her seat which was front row. There was tension in the air as anticipation filled to what Jennie might do as a response. Everyone was interested to see how this was going to go and idols were living for the drama. Gossip went all around the idols as they had private discussions on what might happen and who might win this.

"Where is Miss Bangtan?" Chanyeol wondered as he looked around, seeing that she wasn't sitting with the rest of BTS.

"Probably still getting ready?" Sehun assumed.

"I just want to see what she has planned tonight. Hyuna is already seated," he pointed out.

With Jennie, being the social butterfly and eager to meet her favs, she had strolled backstage to find the three men she wanted to meet. First up was Timbaland. He had been invited to perform with Eric Nam and to receive an award. Timbaland had worked with so many artists and was one of the many inspirations to her. She still believed he, Nelly Furtado, and Justin Timberlake were one of the best trios ever in music. They mixed so well.

He was so chill in person and they took a few photos. He even looked pleased to see a black woman here as she thanked him for all his work. Perhaps one day she'll get a chance to work with him. She shared that she DJs and has been making songs for herself that are not quite ready to be released. He encouraged her to keep at it and gave her advice on making music which she took to heart, feeling grateful for his words. One day she will share her passions with ARMY. 

Meeting Wiz Khalifa was a fun experience, with them sharing a hug and him having a big grin on his face. She expressed her admiration for his song with Charlie Puth and that she couldn't wait to see him perform tonight.

Meeting THE Quincy Jones had her starstruck. One of the greatest music producers of all time was in front of her as they shook hands. Her face warmed when he called her gorgeous and it was sweet of him to take time to talk to her. He listened to her talk about making music and he gave her lots of words of wisdom on creating.

She could listen to Quincy talk all day. He had a way with words that made her feel like she could do anything her creative mind envisioned when producing. But what stuck out to her the most was when he told her some of the best advice he had gotten.

"Your music will never be more or less than you are a human being,"

And it stuck with her. Being an idol is exhausting at times but she loved the work and the way it paid off. She wanted to remain happy. She wanted to continue to thrive with Bangtan and enjoy life. She wanted to speak her truth. She had to be vulnerable tonight when she got on that stage for her solo. She truly needed to dig down deep tonight when responding to Hyuna.

After tonight, she wanted to remove all negative thoughts and move forward with everything. And to take a break from social media. A break from social media was needed. Breaks were good and she could always see it assisting her mentally.

After speaking to these men, she felt a fire light in her and felt even more musically inspired. She posted the photos on Twitter with the caption, 'An honor to meet these amazing & talented black men! Night has been made! Thank you for your kindness and words of wisdom! #Jen'

After going to the bathroom, Jennie made her way to the stage, earning loud cheers from fans when they saw her. She smiled and waved, heading over to where Bangtan was sitting. She ignored Hyuna's presence as she walked past her and acknowledged her idol friends sitting around. Fansites filming her caught some reactions of some idols watching her in awe, admiring her look for the night as she took a seat next to Jungkook at the end.

"Welcome back!" Jungkook grinned.

"Yeah, glad to see you smiling, brighter. Did something happen?" Hobi asked.

"Thanks! And yeah, I got to meet Wiz, Timbaland and Quincy Jones! My heart was racing a bit! They were awesome! I took photos with them. You'll see on our Twitter," she beamed.

The members were surprised and happy as she talked about the interactions she had with each of them. They could tell she was creatively moved by their words of wisdom. Soon after, the boys were all immersed in their own conversations while Jennie tried to adjust her bracelet which was put on a bit too tightly. She accidentally dropped the bracelet and both her and Jungkook aimed to kneel to grab it.

"Thanks, I got it," she glanced at him with a smile, grabbing it first as they both rose, still sitting quite close.

Jungkook got caught in 4K with the way he kept his eyes on her while her focus was on the stage and audience members as the show was preparing to start soon. The way he glanced at her up and down as a small smile came across his face with his lingering gaze did not go unnoticed with fan sites filming them.

Feeling his eyes on her, she turned and looked at him up and down, with them both occasionally glancing at each other's lips. Then they began to smile as she found herself getting lost in his blue contact colored eyes.

No wonder things felt like something was missing. The two of them realized they hadn't kissed each other all day. They'd been so busy preparing for the show and making sure their dances were fine that they didn't even get a chance to share one kiss today.

"Do you two need to be separated?" Yoongi asked teasingly while covering his mouth to avoid getting his lips read by fans watching them. This became a reoccurring thing to cover their mouths so they could speak more freely at these shows.

Jimin and Taehyung started laughing since they had been watching the couple this whole time.

"They haven't kissed at all, today. Jungkook might just go feral," Jimin giggled.

"Yeah, you two need to be separated," Yoongi advised with an amused smirk, making the 95 Liners laugh again.

"We really don't," Jen replied. "We'll be on our best behavior,"

"Are you sure? You two are distracted by each other," Taehyung teased.

"Do you remember where we are?" Jimin added to the teasing.

"Did we fail to mention we caught Jungkook's pleased expression when smelling her new perfume? He can't get enough,"

"Hyung!" Jungkook glared, feeling his face warm.

"We've moved to you two enjoying each other's smells and scents you use? You two need to relax," Hobi laughed.

"Oh my God, can you leave us alone and stop watching us?" Jennie exclaimed, feeling her face flushed.

"Should I be concerned?" Jin asked, listening to the conversation. "Maybe you two should switch seats," 

"Seriously?" Jungkook frowned.

"We'll be on our best behavior, Jin," Jennie reassured.

"Are you sure? Because I do not believe that,"

"Neither do I," Namjoon spoke up with a light laugh.

"You guys are exaggerating!" Jennie exclaimed. 

"This time, I don't think we are," Jin chuckled and let out a sigh, already knowing they were going to drive him nuts tonight. "Just please try to behave yourselves and stay professional tonight,"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Once the show began, Jennie jumped for joy and found herself getting emotional when IOI won Best New Female Artist. Cameras caught her looking proud and ecstatic for the girls with her eyes getting watery.

When GFriend and Seventeen performed for their collaboration, Hayoon was paired up with Vernon. The synchronization of the two groups blew Jennie's mind as she had her jaw dropped at their dancing. When Gallant performed, she smiled over at Taehyung since he was a big fan and cheered loudly with him, overjoyed with his performance.

As Baekhyun and Suzy performed Dream, Jen watched him, mesmerized as the camera caught her singing along to his parts. The members would glance over and smile at her being so into the song, knowing how much she adored him. It caught a lot of attention from Exols and ever since Jennie started meeting the EXO members, Exols took a liking to her. They loved how vocal she was about her admiration for the group and how highly she spoke of them. The EXO members would always have nothing but good things to say about her and enjoyed their sweet moments together. Armies and Exols wondered if they'd share another moment tonight.

Later, Bangtan managed to win Best Dance Performance. However, Jin and Taehyung weren't with them when they announced them as the winners, causing Jennie to laugh. They were probably in the bathroom. Nonetheless, she stood up with the rest of the boys, bowing and thanking everyone with big smiles.

"Yeah! Go, Jennie! Congrats guys!" Bam Bam shouted and approached them with Yugyeom.

The two Got7 members high fived her, Suga, and Jimin before they went up to the stage. Rapmon gave the award to Hobi and stood behind him so he could do the acceptance speech. Jennie smiled proudly as she stood next to him and listened to him speak.

"Wow! Thank you so much for such a huge award," Hobi said on the mic. "And since it's the best performance award for us, there is a larger meaning behind it. Thank you so much. And to the ARMYs who are always supporting us, thank you so much. And I would like to thank Teacher Son Seung Deuk who created this best performance,"

Jennie chuckled once Taehyung and Jin rushed on stage to join them. They both gave her a look as the three of them tried not to burst out in laughter. The trio smiled at one another while Jin placed his hands on Jungkook and Rapmon's shoulders, smiling at them.

"Thank you so much!" Hobi ended his speech, earning loud cheers.

"Thank you, ARMY!" Suga shouted.

"I love you!" Jin added with Taehyung and blew a flying kiss.

----------

As Zico performed Boys and Girls, Jen sat in between Hobi and Taehyung, vibing and doing the choreography. Once he made his way over to where Bangtan was sitting, the members danced in their seats while he took a seat near Rapmon on the arm of the couch. When Bermuda Triangle came on, she stood up with Hobi and Taehyung, getting hyped as they watched Dean and Zico back on the main stage.

"This is my shit!" she started dancing and vibing to Dean, singing along with Hobi and Taehyung.

Don't let 'em in, let 'em in

Get out my zone

We, we, we never know

We, we, we never talk

'Cause we, we, we criminal

Don't let 'em in, let 'em in

Get out my zone

She laughed out loud when Taehyung began dabbing and she followed his movements, making him happy. Once Zico summoned Crush, Jennie immediately turned and locked eyes with Jungkook who was still sitting as they pointed to each other and lip synced his verse.

Nuul jaril jedaero bogo nuwoyaji

Y'all fake bitches tryna act like me

Anjaseo meongman ttaeryeodo nae sopa wie (ssodajineun)

Mula, mula, we gon' pour up

Murder, murder, sumeul jungnyeo

Sangkwaehae ne meori wie gonggi

Nobody can't come over here

Dean, Crush, and Zico killed it on stage, hyping up the crowd. It was one of her favorite performances of the night. Later on, Jen switched seats again and found herself sitting at the end with Jungkook. She grinned as the next act consisted of a collaboration between Got 7, Monsta X, and NCT 127.

Get it lifted

As soon as NCT's Firetruck began to play, Jennie began nodding her head to the beat, enjoying the song. This song was a banger and one of her absolute favorites.

"Firetruck," she mouthed, beginning to lip sync the song while dancing in her seat.

"Ey, yea, yea, yea, yea!" She fan chanted with the audience and Jungkook.

The camera showed Jennie and Jungkook both on the screen as loud cheers occurred and they looked at the camera, headbanging. Bangtan giggled at their enthusiasm and so did some other idols who peeped them on screen.

Fans tweet:

'Why they matching each other's energy so loudly?'

'Their face cards!'

'They're making the same facial expression, so cute'

'JenKook!!'

'I think she does a little bit too much at these award shows. Just sit and enjoy the show, not all the excessive dancing, taking attention from the artists on stage,'

'These two are so beautiful. Wow!'

'Lmfaoooo they are a mood!'

'I'm really happy Mnet is showing Jennie on screen. Her reactions are always so lively instead of others just sitting there,'

'I love how excited she gets about all these groups. Still a K-Pop fan at heart. I'm happy she still reacts this way at shows,'

After NCT performed, Jennie cheered on Jooheon who rapped with Taeyong. His flow and attitude were amazing and she paid close attention to how he performed. Once Monsta X began to perform Fighter, she ended up cheering for Wonho when he was shown singing. She passionately sang his lines while fans had tweeted how Wonho biased she was. After their performance, it was time for Got7 as they performed Hard Carry with her dancing along.

As the show went on, she was proud to see Seventeen win the World Performer Award as she was the first to stand and applaud. Seeing The8 made her smile widely and wave as he waved back.

"Gosh, I hope one day I'm chosen to present an award at one of these shows. It would be fun," Jennie thought out loud.

When the presenters began to announce the nominees for best female vocal performance, Jennie jumped in her seat and cheered loudly when Ailee was shown on the screen. Bangtan glanced at her with knowing smiles, loving her excitement for the woman she had admired for years.

Once Ailee was announced as the winner, she applauded, jumping up and down, excitedly. Just before going up to the stage, Ailee caught a glimpse of Jen and smiled widely, waving at her. When she gave her acceptance speech, the camera caught Jennie watching her with admiration. The angle of where Jennie was filmed caused Twitter to geek over how beautiful her face card was and point out the love in her eyes as she watched Ailee.

With the show getting ready for the next segment, Jennie suddenly received a few packs of smarties from Jungkook.

"How'd you know I was about to ask?" she happily accepted them with surprise in her voice.

"I brought some with me just in case. I was paying attention to your facial expression. When you're about to ask for smarties or say that you wish you had them, you make this cute face. It's like you're pouting,"

"What? I was not pouting..." She turned away, feeling her face warm as he giggled.

"You just did it again,"

"Stop looking at me," she playfully pushed him away, making him laugh harder.

Lately, with the members, her smarties are always on standby. Over the years of getting to know her, they started to understand and know exactly when she wanted the candy and managed to always hand them to her before she opened her mouth to ask.

"Still, thank you," she added and began eating them.

As she ate her smarties, she ended up tossing them up in the air to catch and eat. Wanting to challenge her, Jungkook decided to do it too with his pack of smarties to see who could catch more in their mouths. In the end, Jungkook won as he grinned victoriously while Jennie caught any smarties that she missed from her mouth with her fast hands.

Rule Number One: Do NOT waste Smarties

Next up on the show was Twice and IOI performing. Jennie looked and felt like a proud mom watching IOI perform Pick Me. Fansites caught her entire reaction to the girls performing and thought it was wholesome seeing her get emotional. Being a trainer at Produce 101 to seeing the girls thrive as a group made her heart feel complete. Whenever Jennie was shown on screen, loud cheers would occur and sometimes idols reacted positively when they saw her on screen, with some smiling and commenting that she looked nice.

Once IOI began to perform Very, Very, Very, Jennie began to do the choreography while lip syncing.

nal neomuneomuneomu

neomuneomuneomu neomuneomuneomu

neomuneomuneomu neomuneomuneomu

After they performed, Twice was up to perform Cheer Up and then TT as she watched happily, cheering her friends, Mina and Jihyo, on.

"Just like TT! Just like TT!" she performed the choreography with Taehyung.

-----------

It was time for Hyuna to perform, as some idols were anticipating if anything was going to happen. They hadn't found something this entertaining in a while and hoped something would go down between her and Jennie. Hyuna strutted on stage and performed U&ME. Then she performed How's This with her backup dancers.

Jennie thought it was extremely petty of Mnet to keep a camera right in front of her to film her every reaction but she remained unamused and watched with her head up high. Bangtan didn't even like the fact that the camera was basically in her face nor did Armies.

Suddenly, Hyuna had changed some of her lyrics, not looking Jennie's way as she danced.

Not a high and mighty girl scout in the club behind some fake bulletproof glass. How boring.

Some idols widened their eyes while others glanced over to where Jennie sat.

Yet another diss? This was getting out of control.

Bam Bam cringed and glanced at Jennie with worry, hoping she'd be all right. Hayoon frowned at the diss and shook her head slightly.

However, Jennie only smirked as she continued to watch, knowing that all eyes were on her to see how she'd react. Bangtan glanced at her and as she met their eyes, she gave them a nod. They nodded back and remained calm as they continued to watch the performance.

Suddenly a switch flipped in Jennie's demeanor as she rolled her neck and stared at Hyuna.

'This bitch got me fucked up...' she thought as she kept her cool.

Fans tweet:

'Not again!! Enough already!'

'Is she trying to provoke Jennie?'

'Don't be mad if Jennie catches her in an alley to stomp that ass!'

'The neck roll! I repeat! The neck roll! Jennie just did the neck roll! That is BAD! She got something planned! Get ready!'

'I don't like how she's acting. This is bullying at this point. Hyuna needs to chill,'

'Jen better than me because I would have ran on stage and popped her shit,'

'From the looks of it, Jennie is so bitter and jealous,'

'That smirk means business. I'm not ready,'

'I wish people would stop judging Jennie,'

'Jennie looks like she's plotting,'

'Why does she look so hot when she's upset?'

'Bangtan knows something that we don't because they don't look bothered at all,'

'Bangtan isn't even phased?! What is Jennie planning tonight?'

Little did they know Jennie was listening closely and analyzing what she was saying to use it against her.

'High and mighty...' she thought, making a mental note.

----------

Timbaland arrived on stage to perform with Eric Nam.

And boy was it...awkward.

She sat next to Namjoon during this performance and covered her mouth to murmur to him, "Yo, Timbaland looks so confused. This whole performance is hard to watch,"

And he agreed. It was hard to watch. And she wished the crowd was more excited for Timbaland. It was THE Timbaland and the audience wasn't that loud for him in comparison to Eric Nam. No offense to him.

After being told they were needed backstage, Bangtan got ready for their performance. She changed out of her dress to wear black pants and a long-sleeved ruffled white shirt that hugged her body nicely. With her hair out, she wore a black suit jacket with some silver designs around it, and the daisy pin was placed on the jacket for good luck. As she got ready, she watched on the monitor to see that EXO had won best group and Twice won best female group.

Waiting to get on stage, Jennie ended up posting G-Dragon's iconic diss on the MAMA Awards on her Instagram story, which sparked even more interest in what was going to happen tonight.

"I got a little solo stage. It's going to be pretty fun. I hope everyone likes what I have in store," she beamed at the Bangtan Bomb camera after warming up her voice.

She looked ahead to see Jin checking out the special effects makeup on Taehyung's back to show off his broken wings. He went on the touch it but began to freak out, causing her to giggle.

"It feels like pudding!" Jin exclaimed.

"Why is Jin Hyung so childish?" Namjoon wondered, causing Jennie to laugh again.

The laughter loosened her up and made her less on edge about tonight's big performance.

She was ready.

After everyone was ready and went over last minute rehearsals, the eight of them gathered around and put their hands in the middle.

"All right, fellas! Let's make it a memorable one!" Jennie cheered.

"Indeed! Mama 2016, let's make it a legend. Bangtan! Bangtan!" Namjoon shouted.

"Bang-Bangtan! Fighting!" the group shouted and pushed their hands down.

----------

Backstage with the rest of the boys, Jennie watched with a smile as Jungkook looked ethereal while hanging from the ceiling on stage. He really did his thing. And it was harder than it looked.

She turned to the backup dancers who were patiently waiting for their cue to come out after they performed BST. She greeted them happily and asked if the cookies she made for them yesterday tasted fine. They raved over their love for her baking and appreciated her kindness. She wanted to thank them for being such a great support system for Bangtan and wanted to give them something nice.

"Let's have some fun! See you out there!" She beamed and bowed at them.

On stage, next up was J-Hope performing Boy Meets Evil, hyping up the crowd with a blue background. Then Jimin was revealed on stage, featuring a red background as he danced to Lie while blindfolded.

"The camera work though~?" Jennie watched in awe while the camera did a full circle as he danced.

Then the two had an epic dance collaboration on stage while performing the rest of the choreography for Boy Meets Evil. After they were done, the rest of the group met up on stage and began to perform Blood, Sweat, & Tears as the audience cheered loudly.

wonhae mani mani mani mani

wonhae mani mani mani mani mani mani

wonhae mani mani mani mani

wonhae mani mani mani mani mani mani

Here we go, the most anticipated part. The audience had been waiting to see a MAMA Award version of their duet. As the rest of the members were on the floor, only Jen remained standing with Jungkook. Like always, Jungkook stared at her with love and desire as he slowly made his way toward her from behind. With his presence behind her and face near her neck, he held her in his arms. She leaned into his arms as she began to sing with her mic.

How much longer before you consume me?

No matter how much I resist, I can't fight what you're doing

He turned her around and tried to get closer but she backed away. Persistent this time, he pulled her straight into his chest as he smirked and held her gaze with the audience screaming at their closeness.

My mind is telling me to break free but my body is freaking out

No, I can't want you, get out of my head

As you love every inch of me you see that I want it too

They continued to dance sensually with him mirroring her movements.

Breath on my neck, I bit off more than I can chew

Reflecting on my choices, I'm wonderin' if there's any way out of this

"Here comes my favorite part!" Yugyeom pointed out with the rest of Got 7 agreeing.

"Are they about to do the spin, this time?" Somi asked the IOI members as they were hopeful.

"Are they gonna do it?" Baekhyun wondered.

"The part is coming~!" Yuji giggled with the rest of GFriend.

"The spin coming?" Mingyu asked in anticipation, leaning forward, studying their movements.

"Let it be the spin," Mina had her fingers crossed.

"Here comes the spin!" Wonho cheered.

The idols got excited and so did the crowd as they began screaming and cheering when JenKook did their signature move. Everyone watched in awe at how they moved and thought about the amount of trust that was needed to pull it off. They weren't called The Golden Duo for nothing.

Jennie was pulled back into his arms as she continued to sing.

I'm losing this battle, I just can't resist. 

The music changed slightly from the original instrumental of BST. Jennie and Jungkook were supposed to dance a little more for this instrumental but they remained close and pressed up against each other with her in his arms. They held each other's strong gaze and suddenly their lips met as they drowned out the loud pandemonium around the venue.

With their eyes closed, Jungkook gently lifted her chin and turned his head to deepen the kiss as they both smiled into it.

With the idols, Bam Bam began shaking Jackson while their jaws were dropped, looking shooked. Jay B and Mark widened their eyes while the rest of Got7 acted chaotic as they all enjoyed every bit of the surprising moment.

"What!? What!?" Jackson shouted as he fell dramatically.

The boys laughed at his reaction. Yugyeom grinned immediately once he saw them kiss and let out a chuckle. It made him proud to see Jungkook be so open about Jennie like this. The amount of guy talks they had about girls and how Jungkook's eyes would light up whenever he mentioned her made Yugyeom understand that these two were serious about each other.  

The kiss fit so well with the performance and her lyrics. But there was no denying the love in their eyes as they looked at each other and how they kissed.

With IOI, various reactions occurred as some dropped their jaws, widened their eyes, covered their mouths, and giggled to themselves. Some filming them even caught a few of them mentioning how happy and cute Jennie looked with Jungkook. With EXO as they watched the kiss unfold, Chanyeol covered his face, giggling at the sight. Baekhyun smiled genuinely, watching Jennie kiss the man she loved dearly.

"Full of surprises," Sehun chuckled.

"Very," Xiumin added.

Twice looked at one another, surprised at the sudden kiss. They were excited to see their signature move but a kiss on top of that? Blown away. Mina and Jihyo glanced at each other with big smiles, happy for their friends.

"Did you think that was going to happen?" Jihyo asked.

"I didn't think it would but look at them. So cute! Jennie truly loves him. She smiles so brightly with him,"

"Mm hm!"

With Monsta X, the boys reacted dramatically and were in awe at their chemistry.

"I was waiting for a kiss!" Hyungwon pointed out.

"Me too, I was like, they have to do something big," Shownu chuckled.

"I wasn't expecting that at all, like damn!" Jooheon exclaimed.

All of GFriend gasped and then began jumping and squealing in their seats after seeing them smooch. Hayoon giggled with the girls and pointed out the kiss.

"It's happening! It's happening! I cannot stay calm about this! Finally~!" Hayoon cheered and began clapping with Yuji and Eunha.

"They kiss so passionately, my gosh," Sowon looked on, amazed.

Seventeen looked surprised while Mingyu and The8 happily smiled, enjoying the fact that their friends kissed openly on stage.

Meanwhile, Hyuna rolled her eyes as her reaction was filmed and she began to frown. She had her fair share of kisses on the MAMA Awards stage but the way the audience was screaming and cheering was a much louder reception than hers over the years.

With Bangtan, the boys were caught by surprise by their kissing. No one said anything about a kiss on stage. Jimin and Taehyung did their best not to freak out as they focused on the performance. The way they grinned and glanced at each other while they remained on the floor. Their hearts felt full to see their ship this open with each other in public. They especially loved how the kiss was a deep and passionate one and not just a short and sweet one.

Yoongi had enlarged his eyes a little at the bold move, wondering if this had been planned privately in advance. Getting over his initial shock, he became amused.

'These kids...' he thought.

Namjoon wasn't too surprised about it. He knew Jennie and Jungkook loved to be extra. He felt proud to see them show affection to each other on stage, not having a care in the world. They looked happy and that was all he wanted for them. To be happy like this privately and publicly. He found himself getting amused as he glanced at their passionate lip lock.

Mnet was having a field day with this. Ratings were definitely through the roof now with this shocking moment along with them raising the bar on this passionate kiss.

Jin and Hobi screamed internally when they saw them smooch. They weren't expecting it and thought they'd go along with their routine. After getting over the shock, it pleased them to see them be this bold in public and thought it fit well with the performance.

Back with Jennie and Jungkook, they pulled away as she bit her bottom lip lightly, returning his smile.

But then...reality set in.

'Oh...oh shit,' They both thought and realized what just happened.

They both remained "In Character" for their performance although it was pretty clear their feelings were showing out. It was bound to happen. The kiss was not planned at all but they moved to each other by instinct. And it felt good. So good. She kissed her boyfriend in front of the entire world, solidifying a MAMA Awards moment.

Remembering her last line, she finally sang the end of her verse.

Only a matter of time before you screw me up and I'll be stuck reminiscing. 

Jungkook had to refrain from kissing her again as they both leaned back in which caused more screaming from the audience to occur. Then they reluctantly pulled away as he blew out air and shook his head a few times, trying to control himself from making out with her on stage.

'We're on stage. We're on stage,' Jungkook reminded himself as he kept backing away from her and went to the next dance position for the song.

With the screaming still occurring around the venue and fansites of Jennie and Jungkook catching their every facial expression, this moment was on its way to going viral.

People on social media were going crazy over the timeline with memes and various tweets:

'JENKOOK STANS RISE!'

'It wasn't even a quick kiss! That kiss was longer than anticipated!'

'My man did NOT want to let her go.'

'They both looked like they didn't want to let each other go. They were both in a trance!''

'We said spin not kiss wtf wtf AHHHHHH!'

'WHY DID SHE KISS HIM!? WAIT!'

'Oh...OH! They playing this BST sexy persona a little TOO well!'

'The way he had the GRIP on her?! Jungkook PLEASE!'

'The way he backed away!? She got him straining!'

'Jungkook saw an opportunity and took it! That smile into the kiss!? Oh, my man wanted to do that for a LONG time!'

'Why is he kissing Jennie!? Why!?'

'I'm fine...I'm totally fine...'

'We shipped the right ship! They kissed! They fucking kissed in front of everybody!'

'Were they acting!? Because that looked too real!'

'Jennie looked so dazed after kissing him!'

'Rookie King Kiss on STEROIDS!'

'That kiss was too American!'

'Do you see how happy the 97 Liners are looking?! Something is up!'

'Cries in Taennie!'

'The kiss that was meant for Taehyung nooooo!'

'And to think this was supposed to be Taehyung in this position instead,'

'How to be Jennie? Had sexy scenes with Taehyung and now gets to kiss Jungkook on stage? Lucky!'

'It's happening! Everybody stay calm! Stay fucking calm!'

'That tension is something that cannot be replicated because I was going crazy watching them on my screen. I was like KISS! And when they did I screamed! I didn't think they would do it!'

'How can I be Jennie in this moment?'

'A stage kiss!? Is this a stage kiss!? This looks so real!'

'Jennie's acting lessons are paying off. She is playing the part well of slowly giving in to temptation. Jungkook is hard to resist!'

'THE TENSION! THE BEDROOM EYES!? OH MY GOD!'

'WTF WTF A KISS!?'

'WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!'

'JENKOOK POR FAVOR!!'

'I have no choice but to Stan. Jennie show me your ways. First it was Taehyung, now it's Jungkook!'

'We got a man down! Jungkook get up! He is obsessed!'

'The way I felt like a third wheel I–'

'Jennie STAND UP! Ma'am you're supposed to be resisting temptation!'

'He down baaaad! What is happening!?'

'AHHHH'

'SKSKSKSKS'

'WTF JUST HAPPENED!?'

'They taking it to a whole new level!'

'OH MY GOD'

'Lives are about to be CHANGED!'

'Y'all can stop being in denial now! JenKook forever! Better than your other ships!'

'They are stressing me out! Can they PLEASE confirm it!?'

'Do you know how long we've waited for a kiss!?'

'JenKook stans we up!'

After performing the rest of the song and heading backstage while Jin and Taehyung do their final act together, Jungkook pulled Jennie into his arms and looked down at her.

"No turning back now," he grinned.

"I know," she grinned back. "I feel relieved and happy,"

"Me too. Kill it out there. I'll see you, soon. I love you,"

He cupped her face and pulled her in for a deep kiss, followed by multiple short kisses.

"I love you, too,"

"Was that planned?" Namjoon laughed.

"It just happened. I don't know who leaned in first," Jennie admitted.

"I don't know either but I'm not complaining," Jungkook added.

Jimin and Hobi jumped excitedly with Yoongi.

"JENKOOK~!" Yoongi shouted, making them all laugh as he started shaking the couple.

"Oh my God..." Jennie chuckled.

"JENKOOK~!" Jimin shouted. "Do you know how happy Tae and I were!? Our ship is soaring! Finally! That kiss was everything! You two know how to make us proud, huh?!"

The staff members had to step in to get them to separate so they could get them to their next location for the main stage while Jennie remained where she was. She waved goodbye and got ready.

"Jennifer."

She turned to see Yoongi.

"Control your emotions out there and wreck her life. You got this," he nodded in reassurance.

"Thanks, I will. See you out there," she nodded and saw him walk away, only leaving Namjoon.

Namjoon smiled down at her and held her hands, giving them a gentle squeeze.

"Jennie, you are undeniable. You are so good that they can't ignore you. This is your moment. Show them who Miss Bangtan is,"

Her eyes got glossy as she looked up at him and broke out into a grin.

"Thank you,"

He pulled her in for a big hug, kissing her forehead.

"I am so proud of you. And I am proud to be your leader. I'll see you out there,"

Once he left, she let out a deep breath and waited for her cue as she gripped her mic. The backup dancers were currently on stage, some in white cloaks and black cloaks while a Bangtan Bomb had been filming her all this time.

'Why did you and Jungkook kiss on stage?'

She was asked as a smile crept up on her lips at their lip lock. Turning to the camera she responded with a wink, "I did say no matter how much I resist I can’t fight what you’re doing. I officially fell into temptation. It was worth it though,"

Once the staff told her she could go on stage, she touched her daisy pin, thinking of G-Dragon. As soon as she got back on that stage...she knew everything was about to change.

"I hope I continue to make you proud," she murmured.

PART 2 OF THIS CHAPTER

[temporalarts]

Hello there, I have noticed you’re a well of knowledge when it comes to iDKHOW lore. I’m struggling to find good sources of information and I’d like to learn everything there is to know; do you know how I can do this? Anything I can read/watch? I did a surface-level lore dive a year or two back but I don’t fully remember everything and I’m seeing some stuff around Tumblr I never knew about. Call me Sally Mae because I intend on uncovering everything I can about this band’s lore ;)

hi there! sorry for the late answer, have had tumblr deleted for a while.

important information about idkhow lore first:

it is NOT required to know anything about the lore of idkhow to listen or enjoy idkhow. idkhow's lore is meant to be additional story to the band and is meant for fans to explore only if they are interested. idkhow's songs/lyrics by themselves do not have story meanings. it is hugely important to recognize that idkhow as music and idkhow as a story are separate entities.

idkhow's lore is a metaphorical story for dallon's experience within the music industry and celebrity la/hollywood culture. everything in the lore is symbolic for something in real life (for example, TELLEXX is a metaphor representation of the music industry). i implore anyone getting into the lore of idkhow to treat the lore with gently and respectfully because of that reason.

idkhow's lore has mostly been uncontinued since 2020/2021 since the release of razzmatazz. SRCHPRTY (main character of the lore) has been an abandoned account since june of 2021. this is for a multitude of reasons, including dallon not wanting to have a story line with each album, lack of label support, and lack of time for the lore. because of this, a lot of information about the lore has been lost to time and is no longer available to the public. gloom division (idkhow's most recent album) does have a lore behind it, but has not had a story run like razzmatazz had yet (it could in the future, but gloom division didn't have the time or budget to at this moment). lots of amazing archivists in the community are trying to preserve the lost content over the years (ill link one available one below), but please keep that in mind while looking into the lore.

you may see mentions of ryan seaman (also referred to as subject B) mentioned in the lore and some resources. ryan seaman was the previous drummer of idkhow and is no longer in or involved with idkhow since september 16th, 2023 (due to various reasons i wont go into here, but if you dont know look up the information to why online). idkhow is now and currently a solo project of dallon weekes, but if you see any reference of idkhow being a duo or see him in resources that is why.

that out of the way, here is all the resources I could come up with!

introductory idkhow lore carrd, made by my good friend @fadeyouout! very good start to everything in the lore!

full timeline of all events from current idkhow lore, made by me!

very good place to start with the lore is the srchprty conspiracy video. introductory video to srchprty's research, basic backstory for srchprty, and the main 3 questions in the story.

ALL srchrpty diaries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! watch these chronologically as they build off one another.

if you haven't already, look through srchprty's twitter and instagram accounts. look through tweet replies/instagram comments. srchprty regularly interacted with fans while he was active and a lot of story building with TELLEXX comes from those interactions.

physical copy only extras in razzmatazz, lyrics for indoctrination and tomorrow people. razzmatazz physical versions came with two exclusive spoken word tracks, indoctrination and tomorrow people, both directly from TELLEXX.

TELLEXX documents, found in physical copy only extras in razzmatazz lyric book. includes a internal TELLEXX letter and volunteer subject consent forms.

archive of all of idkhow's instagram posts (2017-2022) made by abstracttheart on twitter. most of idkhow posts on instagram has been deleted over the years, so this is a great resource to see those deleted posts. you can most lore related posts from 2020-2021.

the mysterious world of i dont know how but they found me, dork magazine interview with dallon on the razzmatazz lore and its metaphorical meanings to him. VERY important read in my own opinion!

instagram highlights from idkhowindo: part 1, 2, 2.5, 3. their account has since been abandoned, but the archived stories are from the time of srchprty's activity and has a lot of good information in them.

questions i have answered about some idkhow lore topics in detail: what happened to srchprty, what is TELLEXX, and who is subject a. if you have any questions about the lore that you need answers to feel free to shoot me an ask in my inbox! idkhow lore is my special interest and i love answering any questions new fans have.

idkhow.com from 2020-2022 (recommend scrolling through archives of the website from wayback machine from august 2020-december 2020). the idkhow.com website during razzmatazz lore was ran by srchprty and was being recovered during the razzmatazz lore after a previous shutdown by TELLEXX in 1996.

TELLEXX stress evaluation test: may see this referenced around different lore resources, this is the official website for the test. as well as a article from the coder on how the website works to give results which is a very interesting read.

qwerty translator: TELLEXX/srchprty uses a code called QWERTY code throughout the lore, which is a letter substitution code substituting the alphabet for the QWERTY keyboard (ex: A=Q, B=W, etc). very helpful for decoding those codes!

most "niche" idkhow lore information comes from video/text interviews with dallon from 2020/2021! hard to find every single interview he does talk about the lore, but any dive into interviews from 2020 and you can find moments where he talks about razzmatazz lore. some instagram interviews from 2020 have been archived on idkhows youtube for watch.

indie pop, deep lore, and fan theories: how idkhow give there fans more than just music, tone deaf article on lore

i will update whenever i can with whatever i can find, but that is all the available resources for the lore of idkhow currently. if you (or anyone) have any questions about specific things within the lore, feel free to shoot me a question in my inbox and i will try my best to answer! enjoy!

[butterflydm]

Forsaken thoughts for s3

Nothing firm, nothing concrete, just thinking out some thoughts.

I am trying to keep spoilers to around A Crown of Swords or so, but I am talking about the Forsaken, so it's possible that a late-series spoiler has slipped into without me realizing it.

We have three Forsaken all-but confirmed for season 3, I would say:

Definitely getting Moghedien

Definitely getting Lanfear

Despite Reddit's constant worries that he's been cut, I genuinely have zero doubt that we will be getting Asmodean but I think the show is going to obscure his identity (just like the books did); which has already been implied by Rafe in an interview (seriously, though a. we had that guitar-holding statue in the s1 Forsaken figurines; b. we're doing a 'close' adaptation of TSR - how is that even possible without Asmo? he's the climax of Rand's storyline!; c. Asmo is PRIME material for the more complicated look at Why People Are Darkfriends that the show has been doing)

So the question is... are we going to see any of the others in s3 or will they be held for s4+.

It depends on a few factors, I think:

a. Are we going to be getting the Forsaken meetings in TAR? One of the ways that Hopper trained Perrin in the early books was secretly taking him to a Forsaken meeting (if I recall, Hopper was able make it so that Perrin not only saw the meeting but also saw Moghedien spying on the meeting). otoh, they may not want to cast actors for the other Forsaken until they have a bigger role to play.

b. How much did they shoot in Caemlyn? It sounds like Caemlyn may have been a location shoot rather than a studio set, which might mean that they only will be using it for a couple of episodes rather than going back to it over the course of the season.

c. They've name-dropped Sammael and Graendal -- does that mean that we're going to see them in s3? I do like @markantonys's idea that Graendal is taking the place of Rahvin in infiltrating Caemlyn, because her MO and Rahvin's are pretty similar (heavy heavy Compulsion). I also like the idea of Sammael maybe starting in Tear, being driven out by Rand, and fleeing to Illian and setting up shop again.

d. I do think either Moghedien or Lanfear is going to take over Mesaana's White Tower plotlines and I'm leaning towards Moghedien, because that makes her even more of an antagonist that's focused on the Wondergirls/Nynaeve.

e. If Rahvin does exist in the show, then he's likely going to be the first Forsaken to Die For Real when Rand balefires him out of existence (in s4?).

f. If Demandred exists, will we be getting the Sharan storyline or would we be getting Taimandred? I would personally find Taimandred a lot more interesting (especially since Dashiva does not exist in this version of the story, or at least doesn't exist as a Forsaken, since Aginor and Balthamel were definitely cut).

Someone on reddit did a good post about how eliminating the "men are always stronger than women in the One Power" differential would actually affect the rankings of the Forsaken and our main characters (the comments are mostly not worth reading but the post itself is good) and how that would effect the 'power rankings' but I also think that the show doesn't consider itself forcibly locked to the power ranking system either (which I feel is a good thing but reddit, of course, thinks is an abomination; how dare we not talk on-screen about how Lanfear is 1(+12) in the Power even though the books never talked about it either and it was all in supplementary material lol).

Tumblr is Weird about links to outside posts but the reddit post is here: https://www.reddit[dot]com/r/WoTshow/comments/17oc10a/ok_i_keep_seeing_people_talk_about_the_power/

So instead of Lanfear being six whole levels below Ishamael and Rand because being 'the strongest female channeler alive' still makes you considerably weaker than literally any of the male Forsaken, she's much closer to being on their level (and it's also possible that the show has made it so that Rand is flat-out actually going to be stronger than Ishamael and Ishy and Lanfear are the same, since they've referenced the Dragon being the strongest channeler ever a couple of times). It would also mean that Semirhage (if included) would be a lot closer to Rand's power level as well, making her an even greater threat.

Our final two slots remain a competition between Demandred, Rahvin, and Semirhage, I would say, and who gets what slot probably depends in part on which stories they plan to focus on. If Rahvin doesn't exist, then I'm uncertain who the first Dead For Real Forsaken is going to be in the show.

a. Asmodean, killed by one of the others?

b. Sammael?

Those two seem the most likely. The others kinda all have stories going on later in the series.

I do think that having Rahvin make it in so that he can get killed off by Rand would serve as a good reason why the other Forsaken act more wary of going near Rand in later parts of the series, so that does remain a possibility for me. Demandred and Sammael do kinda occupy the same space in the 'jealous of Lews Therin' ecosystem, so Sammael being included might mean that Demandred is bumped out, and they could then have Rahvin killed off in s4 or s5.

If Semirhage and Demandred both make it in, we might see their 'strange alliance' together, which could make an interesting contrast against the cutthroat in-fighting of the rest of the Forsaken (in the books, Mesaana is part of that alliance too, but I do think she's just straight-up cut).

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 22/03/2024

Viva La LOWAS

Season 7 Featured on: The Year of Grand Dad Sound Selection [Side B]

Ripped by Cosmic199X

Requested by literallyn01imp0rtant! (Request Form)

I'd like to very much thank literallyn01imp0rtant for suggesting a bevvy of Homestuck rips for me to cover, but also apologize in advance - despite being a Tumblr user and overall internet dweller, I'm actually still very unfamiliar with the series. Not that I'm disinterested, far from it - if anything, the recent influx in new rips from the series has only made me more interested in getting into the series now in 2024. But even watching from a distance, it's been fascinating to see Homestuck's presence on SiIvaGunner from the early years to now - with Viva La LOWAS leading the charge for a new age of rips of the series.

See, while the channel was starting out in the early Seasons, there was a real sort of commitment to only ripping video games on the channel. That is still something that is *mostly* adhered to nowadays - for instance, rips like A Day In The Snow or Remember when this song was the one related to toilets? will still use the Rock Band and Guitar Hero games as sources despite the songs featured obviously not originating there. But the same also applied to Homestuck, as most of the franchise's music used for rips were assigned to the official, episodic, now-effectively-cancelled Homestuck adventure game, HiveSwap. Like it was for me, it was likely a bit confusing for those out of the loop - unless you gave the key art's main characters a second look, the name and artwork don't really jump out as you as "Homestuck" right away. But now with HiveSwap effectively dead in the water, and SiIvaGunner's adherence to only ripping "real" games being far looser, a change occurred on October 24th 2023 - "retconning" all Homestuck rips to have been part of a series-specific playlist. There was even a cool little announcement made that provided a lore-accurate reason to the change having been done, referencing both Homestuck itself and the early parts of SiIva Season 2 - that's the kind of channel-and-lore harmony that I raved so much about in Haltmanna feat. Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20.

There's a lot to love about the original Doctor theme from Homestuck, with a magical sound eerie reminiscent of Cave Story (which was confirmed as being a major influence to it by the track's late composer). With Viva La LOWAS being made six years and a month after the fact, I can't exactly say it was made in tribute to her passing - yet arranging Viva La Vida of all tracks in this melancholy chiptune sound still just feels so befitting. The combination fits like a glove throughout the whole arrangement and gives the rip an equal amount of hope and hopelessness, a sense of bittersweet acceptance, and many more emotions that the original Viva La Vida already instilled into people way back when. As a huge fan of both the song itself and of Cave Story's music (see Balcony Fusion Collab), Viva La LOWAS hits hard for me even without the context Homestuck itself provides for it. The fact that this rip led the way for all future Homestuck rips to follow, free from HiveSwap's shackles and finally able to champion Homestuck itself, only amplifies those feelings. And so this elegantly simple arrangement is able to mean so much at once despite it all.

Here's to more Homestuck, and here's to me one day finally reading it.

[doubleredweek]

JayRoy Week 2023

It's official!

This is the master post for every thing JayRoy Week 2023.

Schedule:

Submissions aug 29-sep 15

Voting sep 18-sep 27

JayRoy Week oct 24-oct 30 (with oct 31 as a bonus day)

You can find the link to the prompts here.

Rules:

- Tag all entries with ‘JayRoyWeek23’. And @doubleredweek! So we can find and reblog your works! Always feel free to send an ask if we missed it!

- Side-Pairings and other partners are okay but the focus must be on the relationship between Jason and Roy (romantic and platonic are okay!)

- Use a ‘Read More’ when posting whole works on Tumblr. Late entries are absolutely welcome, for all of our events! Just send us an ask if we miss it!

- Tag appropriately! If you put warnings on it for Ao3 then warn for it on here, improperly tagged things will not be reblogged.

- Cross-posting is fine! If you put a story on Ao3, add it to the JayRoyWeek2023 collection and send us a link/post on here to reblog, or drop the link in the ask/submit so we can share!

- Have fun and be kind! We will not tolerate any sort of hate or harassment towards the mods, the participants, or the works created for this week. Anyone and everyone is allowed to participate in this ship-friendly, censorship-free event! Utilize your back button and block button on things you do not like. Anyone found in violation of this rule will be auto-blocked and banned from the event.

[Additional Information & FAQ under the read more]

Ad. Info:

- The work does not have to be a written fic, if you want to approach these prompts from any other creative angle, go for it! The event has been designed with fanfics and fanart in mind, but go wild with your creativity! (We do not allow content with photographs of real people.)

- Works should be new- we’re trying to celebrate JayRoy and create new content for it!

- Works can be part of a series, but not new chapters on a story not made for the event.

- No min or max word count, go crazy with it!

- SFW, NSFW and dark themes are allowed, as long as you tag them.

- Please self-post your work in our AO3 collection: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JayRoy_Week_2023

- While this week focuses on the relationship between Jason Todd and Roy Harper, we encourage the inclusion of ships or other characters. Our simple ask is that the content submitted is:

A) Brand new

B) Centered around JayRoy / RoyJay

C) Tagged appropriately

FAQ:

When is JayRoy Week happening?

23 October 2023 - 31 October 2023

When will the Official Prompts be posted?

• We hope to have them out by the end of September.

How many prompts will be posted for each day?

• Three

Do I have to include all the prompts in my work?

• Not at all! Feel free to combine them or to only pick one. We simply ask that you note on your work which Day/Prompt you’re creating for.

Is there a certain structure I have to follow with the prompts?

• The prompts are up for interpretation! Create whatever sparks your inspiration, so long as your work is mainly about JayRoy.

Am I allowed to create anything?

• You can create fanfic, fanart, comics, mood boards, playlists, aesthetics, headcanons, meta, dolls - almost anything you can think of.

• The EXCEPTION: You may NOT take photography of human subjects (including in cosplay) as we have no way of verifying the age and consent of human subjects. Want to take photographs of your Legos or action figures? No prob!

• ALSO: While this is a censorship-free event, using live or photographic/videographic references of minors for artwork is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN. If we discover that this has happened, you will be reported to the appropriate authorities. The mods of this event stand firmly against child abuse and exploitation.

Can I have poly and multi ships?

• Yes! All manner of ships are welcome here, so long as your overall work is JayRoy-centric. You can write Kori/Jason/Roy,or whatever poly ships that you like!

Do I have to make something for every single day?

• Not at all! You’re free to crank out all seven days, or only pick and choose which days you create for. So long as you have fun, it’s all good! No need for stress.

What type of content is allowed and what isn’t?

• There is no restriction for this event! Anything goes for this particular week. You can use any canon, part of canon, or AU centric plots for your work.

How do I participate?

• There is no sign up needed! You make whatever it is you want for the prompts, add the work to the AO3 collection, and/or tag us on Tumblr @doubleredweek, with #JayRoyWeek2023 and whatever day the submission is relevant for!

Any additional questions can be answered in asks! Thank you for reading!

[vixstarria]

✨Prepare for an unsolicited info dump✨

I was tagged by @herdarkestnightelegance - thanks!

Do you make your bed? Yes, always - I might leave other things lying around, but the bed is the no. 1 thing that always gets done - otherwise the bedroom looks too messy and irks me

Favorite number? I don't have a favourite number.

What’s your job? So... I work in a small law firm as the person who does everything but provide legal advice. Accounts, IT, HR, admin, random paralegal stuff - I'm your guy (gn). No one at work really knows exactly what it is I do, but they generally assume I'm always busy, which provides ample opportunity to shitpost on tumblr during work hours. E.g. right now. I love my job.

If you could go back to school would you? Absolutely not, I still have PTSD and recurring nightmares about school. I mean, I don't mind learning, per se, but I would strongly prefer it to be on my own terms, remote, and outside of a formal academic environment. And definitely not in the country I grew up and went to school in.

Can you parallel park? Strangely enough, yes. I do note that I do not have a license, however.

Do you think aliens are real? There has to be alien life of some kind out there, but it won't be little green men in blinking flying saucers. ...Although then again, hey, within the infinity of the universe, maybe there ARE little green men in saucers as well, somewhere, who knows?

Can you drive a manual car? Strictly within the confines of an empty parking lot - sure

What’s your guilty pleasure? Oh gosh, of what kind? Food - spicy ramen noodles with a bunch of stuff (mushrooms, egg, etc) thrown in. I love it, but I swear I immediately gain a kg any time I have a bowl. Music - early 2000's R&B, pop and nu metal. It's nostalgia, okay? Media - reality fashion shows that involve competitions, e.g. Project Runway, or ANTM. And cooking shows, but I don't feel guilty about those lol.

Tattoos? No, nothing's ever struck me as significant enough for me to want to have it on my skin permanently. If I had a weird scar I would cover it up with a tattoo, though.

Favorite color? Purple, especially lilac and lavender shades.

Favorite types of music? It fluctuates, but I've mostly been on an electronic / industrial binge lately.

Do you like puzzles? Puzzles often make me feel like an idiot, but if there is no timer, pressure or audience - sure. ...Or like, jigsaw puzzles? I fkn LOVE jigsaw puzzles.

Any phobias? Nope.

Favorite childhood sport? Bold of you to assume I participated in ANY sport as a child, much less had a favourite. Uh. Ice skating and rollerblading was fun, I guess. I sometimes contemplate getting rollerblades again, but then I also rather enjoy all my bones being intact. 🤔

Do you talk to yourself? All the time, although mostly in the form of muttered swears and various exclamations.

What movies do you adore? I'm going to pass on this one, or it might turn into a very long rant. To summarise: I like weird movies, horror and comedy horror. Some examples: Mulholland Drive, Eraserhead, Army of Darkness.

Coffee or tea? Both. Start the day with coffee, then drink tea for the remainder. I'm very particular with my coffee though - every morning begins with a little ritual of grinding whole beans and preparing it with a french press.

First thing you wanted to be growing up? One of my earliest memories is me wondering what I wanted to be when I grew up, and my little 4 or 5 year old brain thinking that my only options were teacher, doctor and cashier, for some reason, and being sad because I didn't want to be any of those. I don't think I ever wanted to be anything, as a child - I just wanted to read my books and play with my toys. In fact, I still feel that way. 😠

No pressure tagging (and sorry for any repeats): @spacebarbarianweird @thechaoticdruid @snowfolly @brabblesblog @confused-butter-toast @tragedybunny