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unattainablesillygoose · 1 year

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Love You Like I'm Never Gonna Love You Again

Evan 'Buck' Buckley x Fem!Reader

angst with a happy ending

summary: Reader gets shot on a job. When she flatlines on the way to the hospital, Buck is worried she won't make it out alive.

POTENTIAL TW : : mentions of gsw, blood, grief, guns? I think? If there's any I missed or should add lmk! Enjoy 🫡

I only have one thing to say for this... sorry 🥲

It was times like this that Buck wondered why he did what he did. Everyone was silent as they sat at the dinner table. No one bothered to try and say anything, and no one looked up either. They all focused on their polished black shoes, not having the stomach to look up and see her empty chair.

He hears people say, "it all happened so fast," but when the shot rang out and he watched the blood spread on her shirt, everything was in slow motion. The shot echoed in his ears. He was too shocked to scream as her body fell slowly to the ground. Realization hit when he felt her blood on his face, and everyone rushed to her aid. It was like someone shocked him, like he jolted awake from a nightmare. Only, when he woke up, she wasn't better.

"No..." He said. "No, no, no!" He screamed, rushing to her.

Bobby and Eddie held him back as he fought to get to her, Hen and Chim working with shaky hands.

"This can't be happening..." He whimpered.

She looked at him, a weak smile on her bloody face, blood pouring from her wound."It's okay. It'll be okay." She muttered fraily.

She nodded, as if trying to convince herself as well.

"Please- let me go!" He yelled desperately, "please! I need to go to her!" His eyes watered as he begged Bobby and Eddie to let him go.

They, too, were on the verge of tears, trying to hold them back for his sake. It wouldn't have made much of a difference, though. All his focus was on her.

Once they got her loaded into the ambulance, they let him go. He ran to her side and sat down. He took her hand, brushing the stray hairs that fell from her braid away from her eyes. She looked up at him with watery eyes, swallowing thickly because she knew it wasn't good. A bullet wound is supposed to hurt. It isn't good when it doesn't.

"Try not to move, okay?" He said shakily.

She nodded, squeezing his hand to assure him. She felt somewhat guilty that she was even trying when she knew she probably wouldn't make it to the hospital. She couldn't bring herself to lie to him. She couldn't find the words to tell him how much she loved him either.

"You're gonna be okay. You have to be." He said firmly, denial dripping from his tongue.

She shook her head. "No." She whimpered. "I'm not."

He shook his head defiantly. "Don't say that. Say anything but that." He said, his voice cracking.

Hen and Chim had to choke back the words 'she's right' because they themselves didn't want to believe she wasn't going to be okay. They wanted to believe she'd be okay like Buck did.

"Okay." She said. "Then I need to tell you something. Before I don't get the chance. I-" She started.

But he cut her off with a shake of his head. "No, you can tell me when you're better." He said.

They all knew what she was going to say, but no one said anything. Everyone, including each other, knew about their feelings for each other. Y/n was afraid of it all going sour, however, and she didn't have the courage to take the plunge and risk losing her best friend. Evan, he wanted to save them both the heartache in case it didn't last. Mostly himself, if he was honest. He knew they'd come back from it, but it'd never be the same. They didn't want to take that chance, and everyone thought it was stupid. Anyone with eyes could see they were crazy for each other. Absolutely head over heels.

"You can't leave me. Please don't leave me." He said desperately, tears streaming down his blood stained cheeks.

She reached up and wiped away his tears, her hand lingering when he leaned into her. "You'll be okay." She said sadly.

"No." He croaked. "I won't." He shook his head, placing his hand on hers.

"You'll have Maddie, Bobby, Chimney, Hen, Eddie, and Christopher. You'll be okay." She tried to convince him.

"But I won't have you." He whispered. "You can't give up yet. You have to fight." He said defeated.

"I'm so tired." She said weakly. "I'm sorry." She said, struggling to get the words out.

"I know it hurts-" He said, but she cut him off.

"It doesn't. It doesn't hurt." She whispered.

"Please, it's not supposed to end this way, I still need you. We still need you." He said.

She smiled weakly, wiping his tears once more. She gasped, her chest heaving, before she stilled, her eyes going blank. For a moment, her hand remained against his cheek, but he knew she was gone. Her smile faded, her mouth agape as blood spilled from the corners. Her hand fell, and Buck never knew silence could be so loud. The constant beep, the solid line, seemed to taunt them. Hen angrily shut it off. Chimney slowly took his hands from her wound where he attempted to stop the bleeding.

"No." Buck said, getting up and starting cpr.

He wasn't ready to give up on her. Henrietta shut her eyes tightly, fighting back tears of her own. Chimney shook his head, determined to see her smile again. To see them finally happy together. To see her in a white gown as he watched his best friends say their vows. To see little baby Buckleys running around with Jee-yun. He reached into her wound, closing off the source of the bleed. Hen sniffled as she turned the machine back on, the consistent beep sounding again. What was a taunt became motivation to them, and Buck continued to try recesutate her.

"C'mon..." He said. "C'mon!" He yelled desperately.

Tears mixed with the dried blood on his face, but he hardly noticed either. Hen tried not to look because seeing one of her best friends lay lifeless on the gurney, while another desperately tried to bring her back, would be too much. She knew that would break her. Break her faith in the job. She needed to try to remember why she did it instead of seeing a reason not to.

As Chimney ran beside the gurney, Hen filled in the doctors and nurses, but Buck didn't hear. He just heard a ringing in his ears, the gun shot echoing in his head. Her lifeless eyes stared back at him, the blood still spilling from her mouth. It gave him a little hope, though, because if she was totally gone she wouldn't be bleeding... right?

"Sir, we can take it from here." A nurse said, easing Buck from his position above her as he tried to get her heart beating again.

Chim was eased into paper blue covers as they rolled them into surgery.

They hadn't been ushered away yet. They could see nurses starting chest compressions and giving her O2. They could see the doctors gently ease Chim's hand from her wound. They could see the blood pour from the wound as a result. As the minutes droned on and her heart didn't start, he felt his own shatter.

It wasn't quick. It was slow. Painful.

Hen could see her blood spilling onto the floor. Her hope quickly diminished seeing the amount.

Finally, Buck could see her heart re-start and her chest rise, and he released a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

Then, Buck finally broke down. He fell to his knees, sobbing. Hen knelt down with him, pulling him into her embrace, but it offered neither of them comfort. Bobby, Eddie, and Athena rushed to them.

Athena's face fell. "She flat lined. Didn't she?" She said sadly, defeated.

Hen nodded weakly. Eddie dropped to his knees, hugging Buck as well.

"I'm gonna get this son of a bitch." Athena growled, storming out of the trauma bay. "Call me when she's out of surgery." She said as she determinedly walked away.

Bobby hung his head, unwillingly letting the tears fall. None of them could bring themselves to leave. None of them wanted to.

It wasn't until Chim finally returned, covered in blood, and said they wouldn't know anything for several more hours.

It took some convincing, but they finally got Buck to leave to finish his shift. But none of them truly left the ER.

Buck had an empty plate in front of him, but he couldn't bring himself to eat. Not when he saw her blank expression every time he closed his eyes.

Their families all came out to support them, the community coming together to put out candles and figures of good luck and healing, hoping and praying for the firefighter and her family and team. Praying for good news. The sight was bittersweet.

Buck couldn't stand the silence. He stood abruptly and left, heading to the locker rooms.

He had to choke back a sob. He didn't want to live without her. He didn't want to love anyone else but her. He didn't want to do this job if she wasn't beside him.

"Evan, you were made to save a life."

His mother's voice rang out in his head.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to sob. He wanted her back.

He missed her smile, he missed her laugh, he missed the stupid jokes she'd tell to cheer everyone up on a hard day. He missed her warm hugs and how she smelled like roses and lillies: her favorite perfume. Her hair always smelled fruity, and her skin was always so soft. He missed her giggles and the way she'd gently caress his face. He wanted her back.

He wanted to hear from the damn hospital. Wanted to hear them say she made it through. It was nearing six hours after the shooting, and it felt like the longest six hours of his life.

He stood in the locker room, leaning against the metal doors of the lockers, his head down. He squeezed his eyes shut, desperately trying to think of her in any way that wasn't the lifeless look in her eyes. Even if she made it, that sight would haunt his nightmares. He mentally kicked himself for not telling her he loved her sooner. He knew she knew. Hell, everyone else did too. But he needed to know she heard it. And right now, he was praying for any miracle. He was praying that he'd get the chance to tell her, kiss her, hold her, anything.

He screamed and stood, hitting the lockers to try to ease the pain in any way. He punched and punched, angry and distraught and so many other things. He wanted order. He needed something to ground him. Right now, that was the stinging pain in his knuckles. He punched the doors again and again until his fist was as numb as he was inside. He fell to his knees, crying weakly.

Maddie came in, silently sitting next to him on the floor. She didn't try reassuring him that she'd be okay because truth be told, she was terrified too. She also knew nothing she said would help ease his pain. So she simply laid a gentle hand on his cheek, turning his face to her. She smiled softly, pulling his head forward and placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. He leaned on her, laying his head on her shoulder as he sobbed tiredly.

"I just need to know that she's okay." He croaked weakly. "I just need her to be okay." He sobbed.

"Shh," she cooed softly, "I know." She whispered. She held his shoulders, letting her own tears fall.

"I'm not going to lie to you and say it'll be okay. I don't know if she's going to make it, and I won't try to pretend that I do. But I know one thing: she is incredibly strong." She said, pulling him away just enough to look him in the eye.

"She's got a lot of fire left in her, still got a lot of fight left. She doesn't give up easily, and I refuse to believe that this time is going to be any different. She's too stubborn and bull headed to let someone else decide when it's her time to leave. And I have that to hold onto." She said.

He smiled faintly. "Thank you." He whispered. "That helps." He said, nodding as he closed his eyes.

"You need to go home and rest." She said concerned.

He shook his head. "I can't sleep without knowing she's okay." He said defiantly.

Just then, Chimney ran in, Jee on his hip. "It's the hospital." He panted. "They've got news on Y/n." He said.

Maddie and Buck shot up from the floor, running out to the main floor where Bobby was on the phone with the doctor.

"Here they are, I'm putting you on speaker." He said when Maddie and Buck approached.

"I'm relieved to call with good news. Ms Y/l/n made it." He said relieved.

A collection of cheers sounded throughout the firehouse. And for the first time since she was shot, Buck felt all the tension leave his body. "Thank god." He muttered to himself.

"She suffered slight head trauma when she fell, and with the pain medication she's on, she'll probably be out for a while." He said.

"When can we see her?" Hen asked antsy.

"You can come down now if you'd like. Visiting hours are over, but I'll make an exception this time." He said.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Bobby said.

Before he even ended the call, Buck was running to his jeep. He sped to the hospital, probably breaking several traffic laws on the way, but at the moment, he could care less. All he could think was, 'She's alive. She's really alive. She's okay.' In that moment, nothing else mattered to him. She was alive. That's all that he cared about.

He ran up to the receptionist, and as soon as he had her room number, he was running up the stairs.

The elevator might've been quicker, but the burn in his legs and the sharp jab in his gut as he took the stairs two at a time reminded him that he was awake, that it was real. She was really okay.

He saw her through the large window in the wall, the door slightly ajar. All the air left his lungs. He couldn't describe the immense relief any other way.

He rushed to her side, dropping into the chair beside her bed. The back of her gown was open, the bandages peeking through. Before he even registered it, he was tucking the blanket over her exposed skin. He took her hand in his, feeling her warm skin against his. He sighed, leaning his forehead against their intertwined hands. Up until now, he hadn't realized just how tired he was. His face was probably all red and puffy from crying, but he didn't care all that much anymore. He'd hang the moon if it meant she would be okay. He'd hold the sky up for her if it meant he would see her smile again. He didn't care. All that mattered to him was that she was safe.

She groaned, squeezing his hand in hers. "Hey, Buckley." She croaked out with a dry throat.

He smiled, remembering when she would call him that when they first got to know each other. At first, it was because she was bad at remembering names and relied on the name tags. Then, it became a way for her to tease him because she knew he didn't like it. He would always respond with her last name, too, but it was only her and a few other people who were allowed to call him that. The few other people being Hen, Chim, Bobby, and Eddie. And of course, his sister, but she only really did when he was about to be reprimanded for something. Other than that, no one else was allowed to use his full name. She was even allowed to call him Evan, but she only used it when it was just them.

"Hey, Y/l/n." He responded softly. He gently handed her the cup of ice water from the table beside her bed, helping her sit up slightly so she could take a drink. She nodded when she was finished and he set it down.

She smiled at him fondly. "You were right." She said. "Maybe I was being a little dramatic." She joked lightheartedly.

Maybe he wasn't in the mood, but that struck a cord with him. "You weren't being dramatic, Y/n, you flatlined. You almost died." He said seriously.

Her eyes widened and she sat forward slightly. "I- what?" She asked shocked.

His eyes began to water, and his had shook slightly. "You were dead. I thought you were gone. I was so scared." He whispered meekly.

She frowned, pulling his face to hers. She rested her forehead against his, gently wiping his tears away. "Hey, I'm right here, okay? I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." She whispered.

"You almost died. I didn't know what I was going to do if you didn't make it. I wasn't sure I could live with myself." He said softly. "I need you here. I've never loved anyone the way I love you." He admitted. He wasn't too particularly happy with the time and place, but he couldn't wait any longer. He needed to know he told her. He needed to know he said it.

She kissed him deeply, putting everything she was trying to tell him in it. That she was real, and she was alive. She wasn't going anywhere. That she loved him too.

"I love you. God, I've wanted to tell you for so long but I was too scared." He said.

"What made you not be scared anymore?" She asked.

"Oh, I'm still scared. I'm scared if we go all in and it ends badly, that I'll lose my best friend and the best thing that's ever happened to me. But seeing you lay lifeless on the gurney scared me way more. I'm still scared, but not as scared as I was when I thought you died." He said.

Her face fell. "Oh, God, you saw me flatline?" She said, a mix of emotions crossing her face. He just nodded sadly.

"I saw through the window. There was so much blood. It's something that's going to haunt my nightmares for the foreseeable future." He said.

She stroked his cheek gently. "You said I could say it when I was better. Can I say it now?" She asked.

He closed his eyes and nodded. "Please."

"I love you, Evan Buckley." She said smiling.

He smiled relieved. She leaned her forehead against his again. "I love you so much." She whispered. "I love you, I love you, I love you." She said, peppering his face with kisses until he finally smiled. "There it is." She said softly.

"I'm never letting you go again." He said, gently pulling her into his chest to hug her, just wanted to hold her for a little while.

"Well, that's good, 'cus I'm never leaving your side." She said, sinking into his embrace.

Eventually, after a grueling 30 minutes of being stuck in traffic due to a pileup, the team finally made it to the hospital, only to find Y/n and Buck asleep.

Y/n lay back, the bed sitting up slightly, but not much. Buck lay right next to her chest, her arm over his shoulders, and their fingers entwined. It looked like they fell asleep talking and watching 'Gone With The Wind' on some channel. They all smiled at the sight, happy to see the two finally relaxed.

Each one took a seat somewhere and eventually fell asleep themselves. They weren't about to leave without giving Y/n a hug and reminding her how much they love her. Besides, they were all exhausted. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. The hospital wasn't the best place to sleep, but they weren't about to leave their youngest member alone in a hospital room, let alone let Buck be there by himself. And maybe it was to make themselves feel better because they were all worried sick about her. Or maybe it was for her and Buck. All they knew: they weren't leaving her alone again.

#angst prompt #writers on tumblr #911 on fox #911 one shot #evan 'buck' buckley #buck x reader #evan buckley x reader #this is some angst angst

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burningflamescurse · 2 months

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48 Stitches

Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: after being in a Brutal Fight with a Shifter and Rolling down a Steep Hill a Couple Miles, [Name] is left with a Severe Stomach Injury.

TW: Stitches, Painful Injuries, mentions of a Shape shifter, crying, Infections, fevers, soft and Fluffy Dean.

A/N: trying my shot at my first Dean x reader one shot, first time Writing for Dean so Please tell me what you all think!

This Particular Shifter had been Playing games with you and the boys for a while now, four days To be Exact, leaving Dead bodies in its wake as the person it was Impersonating at the moment. Being the Excellent tracker you were known to be, you and the boys had tracked the shifter down to a mountain above a small town. You had all flashed out your weapons out prepared to take out the Supernatural creature. You had Produced your trusty silver blade, while Dean and Sam drew out their guns which were filled with Silver Bullets.

What you weren’t expecting though was that the Shifter would launch itself at you, causing you both to roll and tumble Down the steep hill of the Mountain going down into the woods, the shifters claws Sunk deep into your belly as you did, practically Shredding the flesh allowing blood to just Pour out. You heard Dean’s worried voice call out for you. “[Name]!”

You grunted as you Struggled with your blade against the shifter’s Brute Strength, the Shifter knocked its Elbow into your jaw Sending you back a few feet into a Tree along with your blade. You narrowly managed to grab your blade and dodge it's claws as it tried to attack you again. You managed to dislocate it’s shoulder but it Pinned you to the ground on your back trying to stab you with your own blade as you tried to push his arm away.

It had managed to Push the Blade slightly into your chest as a Moan of Pain Escaped you before a Single Bullet ran out sending the shifter rolling a few feet away from you as you laid on the Ground fighting for breath as your wounds bled. Dean quickly made his way over to you, Extremely worried. “[Name], oh God.. are you okay?” he asked quietly afraid to even touch your wounds, in fear of hurting you more.

You whimpered Quietly lifting up your shirt slightly, Showing the Cuts and Tears all along your Abdomen, Sam’s Eyes Scrunched up in worry. “That’s not good [Name], you’ll probably need a good amount of Stitches.” he voiced his Concerns. You almost whined at that, both of the boys knew how much you hated stitches. Fortunately you passed out when Sam said that, only hearing Dean’s girlish Scream as you did.

You stirred awake in the Infirmary of the bunker, feeling the soft mattress underneath your back, You had been redressed in one of Dean’s black shirts and a pair of black shorts as to not bother your newly stitched up Stomach. You felt groggy, Sam probably injected you with morphine. You could feel the fuzzy feeling of the drug in your head, it felt good compared to the pain you felt initially.

You heard the door open and your favorite people walked in, Dean, Sam, Castiel and Jack. They all seemed happy to see you awake and alive. A loopy smile made it’s way onto your Pale face you weakly beckoned them in with your hand, barely being able to wave them over.

“[Name], are you alright?” Castiel asked in the same monotone Voice he used for everybody; You smiled slightly, Despite being weakened and Bedridden you were able to pat his hand that had made it’s way onto your Shoulder comfortingly. “I’m okay Cas.” You whispered, letting your hand fall back down to your side.

Dean let a Scoff leave his mouth even as Sam gave him a Scolding look, “Dean.” he scolded, his hand Whacking Dean On his shoulder harshly. “No, Sam. she needs to hear this.” Dean Retorted, Pushing Sam away from him before Roughly Addressing you. “You had to have 48 Stitches just in your Abdomen. Not to mention the seven stitches across the wound on your throat, [Name.]”

Your eyes slightly Narrowed at Dean’s accusing tone, was he really saying that this was all your fault, that you were the reason that you had gotten injured, it was the monster who lunged at you first. “Seriously, you’re blaming me?” You shouted, raising up in the bed as you did. Sam Tried to calm both of you down, before someone got hurt that someone preferably being you.

Jack only stared at you, his eyes conveying such concern and worry for you in this state. “Dean, you must be stupid because I didn’t just attack the Thing Like a Reckless kid! It attacked me!” Your hands gripped the sheets as you spoke, showing every emotion that was Spiraling up inside you. “and let’s not forget, you were the one so convinced that it was a demon so we didn’t come Prepared!” You added, giving him a Reality check.

The room was silent for a moment, now Dean just looked Guilty as he could be for Scolding you. Suddenly Jack spoke up, “You Guys defeated the monster though, right?” Dean nodded as Jack’s smile appeared on his face. “then everything’s okay, because you killed it and now all those innocent people are safe.” he finished.

With Jack being the voice of Reason calming everything and Everyone down you were able to lay back down and Rest a bit. You noticed that Dean was still Looking as Guilty as ever, so you grabbed onto his hand with Such affection. “Hey Dean, I’m okay now. I’m here and i’m not ever leaving you anytime soon.” you soothed.

Dean nodded, lifting your hand up to lay a kiss upon it. “okay. Okay, thanks [Name.]. I love you.” he whispered in such a soft Voice, you returned his loving words with a Kiss to his inner wrist.

And for now you knew that everything was going to be alright as long as you had Dean, and Dean had you.

#dean winchester #sam winchester #Caatiel #dean winchester comfort #supernatural #spn #castiel #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester x reader #jack kline

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phoqnix · 7 months

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Home to you (simon riley)

(simon riley x fem!reader) angst+fluff

tw: near death, mentions of gun shots, blood

authors note: hi there! this is my first time writing something like this so i hope you’ll like it! request are always open! i hope you enjoy it! thank you for reading! i listened to the song “work song” by hozier while writing this!

word count: 1k+

“I love you Simon” you muttered into his chest as he hugged you

”I love you too love, ill come home to you I promise” he whispered back

He had got called out too a dangerous mission, this wasn’t new he was always called on dangerous missions, but this one was different, this was supposed to be his time off, he was supposed to stay here with you and pretend he was a civilian for the time being, but his team needed him and you understood that.

He gave you a kiss to the top of your head before he grabbed his keys and walked out the door, waving a final time.

He will be back you thought to yourself he will come home to you.

—————————————————————————

This wasn’t the same as any other mission but he’d never tell you that, He wouldn’t get called in while he has time off if it was, but you didn’t know that and he planned to not let you know, he didn’t want you to worry even more.

”Ghost nice of you to join us” soap said as he walked into the room

Simon didn’t say a word and instead just sat down and listened to prices briefing.

“Stay sharp boys they are expecting you” price said to them as they all stood up and headed the helipad.

the ride was tense they all knew it was high risk, hell all their missions were but this one was different and they all knew it.

as soon as they landed they separated. It was a mistake.

—————————————————————————

As soon as he entered that building shots went off from all directions, he got behind a shipment container and waited until the shots stopped, he waited for the comms to go off.

”Everybody alright” he heard his captians voice came thru the silence

Was he alright?

“All good sir” soaps voice came thru

“Yes sir” gaz’s voice came thru

His shoulders burning he’s realized

“Ghost do you copy” prices voice came thru

He lifted his hand to his shoulder and looked at his crimson stained fingers.

“Ghost do you copy” price said more firmly

Fuck it was a lot of blood he thought

It hurts so fucking much he thought

“Ghost” soaps voice came thru

He groans bringing his hand to the com pressing down the button

“I’ve been hit” he says quietly into the comm and everything goes dark

—————————————————————————

“Simon” “Simon you have to get up” “Simon you have to get up off the floor”

He hears your voice, fuck you werent supposed to be here he thinks

He quickly opens his eyes but sees nothing but the grimey floor beneath him

“Come on get up Si you have to fight”

He hears your voice again, he pushed his body up off the floor leaning against the shipment container, looking down at his com, its broken. He groans as he reaches down into his pocket, pulling out a silver locket, he opened it and there you were, smiling so brightly up at him as he wrapped his arms around you awkwardly.

He cried, he looked so miserable in this picture but yet you chose this one to put inside here, he wondered why, he looked miserable but fuck he loved you so much, he was smiling under the mask, but only he knew that.

“Y/N?” He cried out into the air

“I’m here Simon” he heard you call out

“I’m not coming home to you love, I lied” he cried out

“You need to fight simon” you whispered

“Fuck there’s so much blood y/n” he whispered

”put pressure on it simon, come on think baby, you know all this stuff, think about it” you said

You were right, fuck he knew this, he groaned as he reached down ripping the bottom of his shirt, he groaned as he wrapped it along his wound.

He pushed his body up off the floor standing, Fuck he was delusional from blood loss, he was talking to himself like a crazy person and he knew it.

”You still here love?” He spoke out

no answer….

”love?” He spoke out again

no answer again.

fuck he needed to get home to you, he needed to hear your beautiful voice again.

Nothing would keep him from coming home to you, he would crawl home to you if he had too, he was getting home too you, he was not breaking his promise with you and from now on he would make sure he would never come closer to it then he his now.

He pushed his way back to the door he entered in, and as soon as he pushed the door open shots went off, he slipped out the door, but he was hit once again.

”FUCK” he yelled out and he looked down at his now crimson stained jeans

All he had to do was make it back to the spot where they landed, it was said to all meet there if it went south and shit did it go south.

He rips his shirt more and wraps it down around his thigh, he begins walking limping to the tree line in the distance, he hears shots going off inside the building, he hopes his men are okay but he has to get to the landing location.

“GHOST” he hears price yell behind him and he finally takes a breath and pauses

Price, soap and gaz are at his side quicker than lightning, gaz and price put his arms over their shoulders carrying his weight like nothing.

”Shit where were you hit” soap asked but he doesn’t answer, god everything hurts so much

“Simon where were you hit” he listens this time when he hears his name

“leg and shoulder” he rasped out not opening his eyes, he hears a helicopter in the distance as they drag his bodie thru the woods

He feels the wind of the helicopter hitting his body and then he feels his body being quickly lifted into the helicopter

”Y/n you have to call y/n” he whispers

“what was that mate” soap ask him but before Simon can answers he’s groaning out in pain as two sets of hands put pressure on his wounds

”Y/n you need to call her, tell her what happened tell her I lover er” He says louder this time

“your gonna tell her yourself simon, nothings gonna happen you’ll see her at the hospital” soap says

It’s the last thing he hears before everything goes dark

————————————————————————-

It was late, 12:30 maybe? But your phone was ringing which was weird you look at the name seeing ”JOHN PRICE” and quickly jumped up answering the phone

“What happened” you say urgently into the phone

“Simons been inquired y/n, he’s in surgery now but you need to get here now” prices voice came thru and before he could get out another word you were hanging up and throwing your phone down.

You quickly jumped up out of yours and simons shared bed and ran out of the room, you slipped on your house slippers and grabbed your keys to your car and ran out of the door.

You didn’t care if the door was locked someone could have everything in that house if it meant Simon was going to be okay, you quickly backed out of the drive way speeding out of yours and simons little neighborhood.

You drove at terrifying speeds, turning what was normally a twenty minute drive into a ten minute drive, you parked your car quickly and jumped out running into the bases hospital, and their sat a blood covered soap, gaz and price.

”y/n” price said standing up quickly

“how is he? Is he okay?” you asked frantically

”he’s still in surgery” price spoke out

“doctors said he has a good chance, he fought hard” soap said standing up

“I believe this belongs to you, he was holding it when we found him” soap says holding out a blood soaked locket you grabbed it with shaky hands, and then your legs buckled underneath you as you let a sob out. Price immediately at your side to catch you.

—————————————————————————

It’s been three hours since you’ve got here, you’ve calmed down some, but your still dazed, you couldn’t believe this is happening, you couldn’t believe he kept the locket with him, you thought he stuffed it into a drawer somewhere.

you opened the locket looking at the blood coated picture of you two, if someone else had seen this picture they would think Simon was disinterested, distant and unhappy, but when you see this picture it means something different.

he was smiling and you knew it, you could see the tiny little creases in his eyes as he looked down at you, he was smiling just as bright as you even though no body knew it but you and him.

”He’s out of surgery, He will be okay we are just waiting for him to wake up” the doctor said walking towards us

“thank the lord” gaz muttered

“can I see him please?” You said standing up quickly

the doctor glanced over at price who nodded at her.

”yes you may right this way miss”

”Mrs. Riley” soap called out correcting the doctor “she goes by Mrs. Riley now”

“my apologies” the doctor said as you shot a confused look over your shoulder at soap

—————————————————————————

You were standing beside his bed, your hand in his, he was still out, he looked awful, dried blood on his hands, on his neck, his mask, there was blood everywhere your eyes started watering again, just as you felt a tear a fall your hand was being squeezed.

”Si?” You whispered out

“y/n?” He said groggily

“I’m here Simon” you cried out

he squeezed your hand harder like you were going to disappear into thin air

“I was smiling in the picture y/n” he whispered out

“Simon what are you on about” you giggled slightly he was still out of it from the anesthesia

“in the locket, I was smiling I swear I wasn’t miserable” he muttered out

“Oh Simon, I know, I know you were baby” you whispered to him

“I fought so hard for you Y/n, I didn’t break my promise” he said quietly

“I know simon, I know you did” you whispered rubbing your hand over his masked face

”Thank you” he muttered once again

“for what si?” You asked

“For being there” he said “you were there helping me”

you were a bit confused but answered anyways “Your welcome si” you said still rubbing you hand over the mask

“Take it off” he muttered opening his eyes

“are you sure?” You asked quietly seeing his blue eyes stare up at you

“Take it off please y/n I need to feel your touch” he whispered

you carefully slipped the mask up and off his face, there he was, there now sat simon, no longer ghost but simon. Your simon.

he looked up at you with teary blue eyes “I love you so much y/n” he whispered squeezing your hand

“I love you too simon” you whisper to him running your fingers through his sweaty hair

you bent down, not hugging him because you didn’t want too hurt him, but you kissed the top of his head and it seemed that maybe he finally leaned into your touch. He did and both of you know it.

#simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley x you #ghost cod #simon riley angst #john soap mactavish #john price #kyle gaz garrick #call of duty #ghost x reader #simon riley fluff #task force 141 #soap cod #gaz cod #cod price #captain price

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gothic-thoughts · 26 days

Text

A Kiss Before I Go

(a remaster for the girlies)

Satoru Gojo x Black Fem Reader Fluff

Ex-friends2lovers, Deputy!Reader, Cowboy!Gojo

CW: she/her pronouns, reader gets shot, gojo a rich bounty hunter, a lil angsty

TW: blood mention, passing out, shooting/killing mention

Word Count: 1154 (give or take)

"Ya really came all this way to find lil' ol' me...?"

I look up to see Gojo Satoru standing on the second-floor balcony with his revolver pointed back at mine. Despite the black bandana over his eyes, I could tell by that smirk that he looked down on me in amusement as I stumbled into his house.

"That's sweet~" He finished, "Ya really that desperate for my attention, (Y/n)?"

"You killed the mayor!"

"Aht, aht, don't gimme that. Ya know I don't just go on killin' folk; I was paid, he was a criminal. Simple as that."

"So how come other folks are dead?"

"Cuz they got in the way of my work and I happened to have 5 bullets left."

"Well, I'm here finishin' up my work so you're under arrest."

"And what if I don't wanna?"

"Then..." I stumble a little, "Then I'd have to kill ya."

"Kill me? Really now, ain't that bordering on vigilante territory? Not gon' lie, I'm kinda hurt, thought we were thick as thieves."

"I don't give a rat's ass h-how close we were. Put ya hands up and walk down those steps real slow like and maybe I'll visit ya in jail."

"Were?"

"Were."

He scoffs, loosening his grip on his gun.

"I had to kill him with no witnesses or I don't get paid."

"W-well I guess it's too bad ya got one. Now, reach for the sky and walk down the steps. I'm t-takin'...."

Gojo pauses and presses his pelvis to the wooden railing to lean over the balcony. He squints.

"You bleedin' already?" He chuckled, "I ain't even shoot you yet."

I look down just in time to see a couple droplets of blood fall from my hip and crash into the small puddle of previous drops made on his old wooden flooring.

"What the fuck, you okay?" He asked, straightening up, "That amount of blood ain't nothin' to sneeze at... y'sure y'alright?"

"Don't act like ya care." I pant.

"(Y/n), did you ride all this way wit'--"

Everything became fuzzy and the next thing I knew, the back of my head stung with pain and I was now staring at his high ceiling. Rapid steps echoed around me and all I had to do was blink before seeing Satoru kneeling beside me and quickly lifting my shirt to see the hole where the blood was pooling out. He muttered curses to himself.

"Who did this to ya?"

"L-leave me alone."

"Shut up and tell me who did this."

"C-cops."

"The fuck they shoot ya for?!"

"I was the only one holdin' gun in the crowd... They thought I killed 'im."

His face contorted into shock as he took out a different black bandana from his pocket and pressed it into my wound.

"Why the hell do you have a second bandana?" My voice strains as the pain grows slightly more intense.

"Case I get mine ripped inna bar fight. Now hush, I'mma getcha back to town, 'kay?"

"Think I'd rather die, actually."

"What, ya still don't trust me~?"

"You the reason I'm shot, Satoru. And I was here to arrest you."

"Well since y'already blamin' me, I'll tell ya old friends ya made a valiant effort before I shot ya."

He starts to help me up, slinging my arm over his opposite shoulder as he helps me outside to horse and carriage. I stared at it but despite my pained, glazed-over eyes, I was in shock.

"You tellin' me... you a bounty hunter but got a carriage 'stead of just a horse?"

"I got horses too, I just cain't help it if I'm a lil' high-maintence." He laughs, "And lucky for you, my driver ain't here; so you get to have the pleasure of me takin' the reins." He winks.

"If I wanted to die, I woulda just stayed on ya living room floor."

"Oh shut up and c'mon."

Satoru helped me climb onto the carriage floor, and I didn't even bother pulling myself onto the seat since the pain was so bad. As soon he closes the door, I roll onto my back with tears stinging my eyes. My head rolled to the side as the horse's galloping fell deaf on my ears as I felt the bullethole gush more blood.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Gojo!"

"Huh, what!?"

I looked at his panicked face before looking to the other side of my bed to see a tray of bloody cotton balls on a medical cart. Satoru walks towards the bed and I shift towards him and immediately stop and wince at the feeling of tight pulling at my side.

"Hey, hey." He soothed, resting his hand on my knee, "There's stitches in there, so relax."

"What?"

"You in the hospital, 'member?"

I punch him across the face to which he jerks his head from it. He smiles smugly, as he rubs his jaw.

"I shoulda shot you on sight."

"Right, yeah-yeah, 'course, keep that energy for after you recover. We'll can continue this lil' meet up somewhere else."

Satoru cupped my face in his hand and pulled me into a deep kiss, almost like he missed me. I try to keep my eyes open in surprise only to slowly succumb to the passion. But as they start to close, his lips are torn from mine with a smug chuckle.

"Been waitin' on that for a while." He smirks, "And that's the only thing that's gonna keep me goin' 'til we meet again."

"If we meet again, I'mma kill you where you stand!"

"Like I'd let you do that..." He places another peck on my lips, "Besides, I just gave you some incentive not to."

"Wait, what--"

"Don'tchu die on me now, officer."

He tips his hat and jogs out of the room. He didn't kiss me like he missed me, he kissed like he was going to.

"Gojo!"

I painfully stand up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed, and use the iron headboard to help me stand. I hold my side and limp after him into the brightly lit hospital corridor only to see nurses and patients calmly walking the corridor as if nothing happened.

"Ma'am, please. Ma'am!" A nurse worried, "Those stitches need to heal."

"Where did he go? He ran out of my room!"

"Where did who go?"

"Gojo? Satoru Gojo?!"

"The... bounty hunter...?"

I roll my eyes, "Yeah-yeah, he was in my room and just ran out! You tellin' me you ain't seen 'im?"

"Ma'am, you ain't had any visitors since you were admitted."

"Riddle me this; who emitted me then?"

The nurse grabs and reads a chart, "Says here, your brother did."

"Wha-- and you believed 'im!?"

"Had no choice... Fella insisted he write it himself."

She showed me the sign-in sheet, pointing at the bottom, to see he wrote my name for the patient's column and then literally wrote "her brother" in the admittees column. I scoff and curse under my breath, half pissed off yet half impressed. That bastard brought me here, then snuck back hours later for a fuckin' kiss. But thinking about them again, almost makes me feel better about potentially losing my job.

"You seen what he looked like though, right...?"

"Tall fella, all black get-up...hat hid his face and hair though."

I groan. "'Course it did..."

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moon-my-beloved · 20 days

Text

Run: (Eventual 141 x Vamp! Reader, but first let’s start from the beginning. 🕯️)

Bloodied, injured, and exhausted, Laswell finds herself in the last place she would like to be lost in: the woods. After escaping what was supposed to be her ultimate death, Kate wanders off into the wilderness in hopes of finding refuge. She is unlikely to make it out of this situation alive.. at least that’s what she thought.

TW: blood, mentions of a gun shot wound, reader can be considered as fem but anyone is welcomed to read it! that’s pretty much it babes. xoxo

— September 15, 1996. Location: Unknown

If you were to ask Kate Laswell where she would be in the last twenty-four hours, she wouldn’t even muster the thought of being in the most unpleasant and unfortunate positions. Nothing surprised her anymore, not when you were doing work that’s perceived as illegal, unethical, and dangerous. Kate knew this. She understood this job would bring unavoidable losses, sacrifices, and risks. She knew it as soon as she signed those papers to get her hands dirty. To keep the world safe from such cruelty she had and has to see. This was her life now and she was okay with it.. That was, until now.

Kate had no fucking idea where she was going. She had been running for god knows how long once she heard the sound of booming voices echoing through the hallway as they made their way into the small base. Slamming, kicking, and taking doors down to the ground from the other side of the building. She had been finishing up her last report when she and her team were ambushed. Things taking a dark turn before the gears in Laswell’s head could even process what was going on. ‘So much for being under high surveillance.’

She didn’t manage to get much. Just her laptop, a few files that read ‘CONFIDENTIAL’ in red bold letters, an already messed up USB along with a crappy radio in hopes of getting in contact with the agency before she was bolting to the nearest exit she could find. Her colleagues were long gone, she knew it. She heard it.

She didn’t have much time, barely managing to escape bullets flying past her while throwing her leg over the sill of the window and deciding that it was a safe enough jump for a three-story building. Her ribs making immediate contact with the grass and soiled dirt in an attempt to shield her prized possessions from meeting their ultimate death.

Managing to catch her breath, she shot up. The denim of her jeans and shirt soaking up all the mud from the fall. It was uncomfortable the way the material stuck itself to her skin, but that was the least of her concerns at this point. The wet ground made an irking ‘squelch’ with each stride she took, sprinting through the trees mindlessly to wherever the woods would take her. If she even got far enough.

‘Just keep running Laswell. Run and find somewhere to hide.’

And that she did. Chanting those two sentences over and over again like it was a damn prayer. Running to the woods was probably a bad idea, but where else would she have gone? The base was just a small pebble in the middle of endless trees. It was pitch dark and it was getting cold. No noise at all except for the ringing in her ears and the rustling of leaves she left behind. You could only go so far with adrenaline running through your veins before it eventually runs out.

She must have been far away now. At least enough to catch her breath now that she feels her body crashing down from that pure bliss of epinephrine. Strands of hair sticking to her forehead from exhaustion. Not even noticing the big crimson spot forming on her thigh but hell could she feel it now. It was a miracle she wasn’t dead by now.

She must have gotten hit when she was trying to get out. ‘Shit. Okay, okay, everything’s going to be fine.’ Hissing through her teeth, she reaches out to inspect it. Leaning down against the trunk of one of the many trees and lifting her leg to get a better view. The glow of the moon blessing her with enough light for her to see the big gaping hole in her jeans. Did it go through? She had no idea. Too busy focusing on not face-planting on the dirty ground as her sight grew dim with the amount of blood she had lost. Skin glistening with all the sweat she was accumulating despite feeling more cold than usual. A shiver running down her spine and teeth clattering against each other. She felt like a whole bucket of ice just got dumped on her.

‘Getting eaten alive by nature wouldn’t be such a bad way to go,’ She thinks to herself. But before she could feed into the thought some more and become one with the food chain, she zeroes in on a roof. Seemingly making itself known from behind the leaves of the too tall trees.

‘She can make it. Just a little further.’

She takes a deep breath as she pushes herself off the trunk, biting down on her bottom lip to keep a cry from slipping into the night. The pain was getting worse. A hot, almost burning sensation spread throughout her thigh and body. She tries not to put too much pressure on her leg and slowly walks (more like drags) her way down the dark trail just enough to catch a better glimpse of the house. It’s big. It’s undeniably huge the more she gets closer to it. It’s not just a house, it’s a manor. What is a manor doing in the middle of the woods? Well, with how old and unkempt it looks, she wouldn’t blame anyone if they mistook it as one with the trees considering how roots, stems, vines, and leaves seem to be sprouting from every corner of the walls. It looks abandoned, that's for sure. No one would live in the middle of nowhere where there’s no food source let alone transportation.

Taking a look around, Kate sees nothing. No neighboring houses, cars, or bicycles that would hint at any sign of life. Not even a rolled-up piece of newspaper was left scattered on the ground. It’s secluded, but so out of place that it makes Laswell’s gut twist with uneasiness. Either no one lives here or nobody knows this place even exists. The thought alone just makes her more hesitant to try and figure out the truth. The unbearable pain only got worse the more she stood there thinking of what to do next.

‘Fuck it.’

If she was going to die, she would at least die with some dignity left in her. Mustering up all the strength she could, she limped her way towards the door. Dread filled her senses once she noticed that she would have to climb a few steps of stairs before she could finally reach the handle. Trying not to put too much pressure on her bad leg, she settles on hopping up the stairs with her good one. Her body must have decided that she had enough once she made it to the last step and before she knew it, she was falling into the abyss, her ears ringing endlessly until there was nothing but darkness.

⛰︎↟ ⛰︎↟ ⛰︎↟

The first thing Kate notices when she wakes up is the softness and warmth surrounding her. The smell of something sweet and earthy filling her nose as she ponders what it might be. Patchouli? Lavender? Maybe it’s vanilla bean.. whatever it is, it’s comforting. An overwhelming sense of tranquility washing over her body as she shifts onto the other side of the cushion– wait. Cushion?

The realization dawns on her as she sits up abruptly, eyes flying open in confusion and fear. She was on a couch, a nice one. Pillowy cushions with a smooth texture to them as she traced her palm against the velvet fabric. The ringing in her ear interrupted her yet again as a pained groan slipped past her lips now that she was fully conscious. She sits there for a while until the tinnitus stops, hand pressed up against her head as she frantically takes in her surroundings. She was inside the manor, in the living room from what it appeared to be. The interior of it was much more.. beautiful. A complete contrast to what it looked like from outside. A dim, golden glow cascading over the room with how the lamp beside her shined. Across from her there was a fireplace, freshly lit on that she could still feel the heat of it lingering in the air. In front of her there was a table, shiny wood reflecting on itself. Everything looked so antique. Whoever lived here was either filthy rich or was stuck in the eighteenth century.

Her train of thought was disrupted when she heard the sound of a voice, head whipping to see who was the source of it.

“Finally awake?” The figure asks, tray in your hand as you carefully inch closer to her. “Didn’t know what you prefer so I sett-”

“Don’t come closer,” Kate states, twisting the blanket around her fingers and pressing her back against the corner of the couch. “Who are you? Where am I?” She sputters out, a hint of demand in her tone. For all she knows, you could be someone out to kill her. Laswell couldn’t risk herself putting her trust on a complete stranger. Let alone one she couldn’t see. Your face was completely covered by a veil of some sorts, only managing to catch a small silhouette of your face with how the material pressed up against your features. Your choice of clothing was rather modest and old-fashioned. You weren’t one for color, Laswell assumed. The color black consuming your form from your long-sleeved shirt down to your long black skirt, boots barely peeking out from under the material.

“You mustn’t move too much, wouldn’t want you to open your wound after all my hard work.” You said, dismissing her questions while carefully setting the tray down against the table, and pouring her a cup of tea. “It’s herbal tea, it’s good.” You added, carefully pushing the porcelain cup towards her as you kept your distance. Wound? Oh. She must have hit her head pretty hard when she passed out, throwing the blanket off of her to reveal her bandaged thigh. It didn’t even hurt anymore, eyebrows furrowed and mouth gaping with bewilderment. It felt like she never even got shot. Had she come across a witch of some sort?

“Uh.. thank you?” She mutters, leaning a bit to grab the cup carefully to take a sip of the warm beverage. Mhm. It’s delicious. Usually, she preferred to drink coffee on days where missions like these kept her up until the crack of dawn. Yet, here she was drinking tea with an odd stranger after almost getting killed. An awkward silence filled the room, followed by the sound of her sips as you sat across from her in an armchair. Legs crossed with your hands placed in front of your lap, not particularly looking at her but your body language signaling that you were acknowledging her presence. “You were gone for quite some time. Thought you would never wake up,” You finally said. Head turning to face her. “You shouldn’t be out here.”

“Yeah.. I ran into some trouble..” It wasn’t a complete lie, she wasn’t about to spill private information to you just because you’ve been polite to her so far. It all could be an act. You can never be too sure.

You must have detected her uneasiness towards you, getting up suddenly to exit the room before coming back with her belongings. “I didn’t peek through your things if that’s what you’re worried about. Whatever your dilemma is, that is none of my concern,” You said rather abruptly, dropping her stuff beside her. Kate was ready to throw a glare at your direction for handling her things with no care just to see your covered face already facing her. She might not be able to see you how you look, but she can feel your eyes pinning her in place through the fabric like an unseen force. “I can take you to an area where your friends can come and pick you up,” You explain, reaching out to grab the radio and tapping your fingernail against it. “If you promise me one thing.” You say, tone eerily stoic. “Never come back here, understand?”

Feeling paralyzed under your gaze, she nodded. Clammy hands gripping onto her things as she threw her legs over the couch. Feet planting against the patterned carpet. ‘Where were her shoes?’ As if you read her mind, you drop her muddied boots next to her. “I’ll wait for you by the door. Hurry up.” Before she could even manage a word, you were rounding the corner of the living room and disappearing into the shadows of the enormous manor.

‘She needs to get the fuck out of here.’

Without a second thought, she hastily put her boots on, not even caring to properly tie her shoelaces. Her thoughts were all over the place. First, the mission was an absolute failure that cost the lives of people, and probably much worse for those who didn’t manage to escape. Second, she wanders off into the wilderness in hopes of finding an empty flat to hide in until she could contact the damn general only to faint and find herself inside someone else’s home. Now, she’s here. Struggling to get in contact with the intelligence unit. Just her luck.

“This is Kate Laswell, do you copy? Over.” Static. That’s all she’s been hearing for the past five minutes and her patience was wearing thin. “This is Kate Laswell, CIA communications analyst. Do you co—”

A voice from the other end of the line speaks. She recognizes that voice. Joseph Allen, chief of the communications department she works for within the agency. “Bravo-4, we hear you loud and clear Laswell. What’s your status?” Allen asks, a hint of concern laced in his tone that makes her feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. “It’s good to hear you, Allen.. I-I’m doing okay. A bit roughed up, but alive and well,” She stammers a bit, clutching onto her things before taking a deep breath in. “Don’t worry Kate, we’ll get you out of there in no time. Sending a chopper your way. Hang tight.” The man reassures her, stating how there would be a few soldiers waiting to bring her back. With that, she bids her goodbyes to the chief, swiftly grabbing her things, and slowly approaching you.

The door was cracked open beside you as you waited for her arrival. Silently, you beckon her to go first. The bright light and melody of birds chirping greeting her as she takes her first steps. A new day has come. It was nighttime when she stumbled upon your house, but now that the sun has come up, she has a clear view of the environment. Trees as tall as ever, a bit less intimidating with light now. Her boots stepped on dried leaves with fall inching closer, a crisp, cold wind hitting her face sending shivers down Laswell’s spine. Everything was much brighter, more alive.

That feeling of peace was short-lived, hearing you close the door and start walking off into the woods without even looking back if she was following. You hadn’t mentioned where exactly you were taking her, doubt sending warning bells in her brain not to follow you. Burying her nerves, the woman caught up to you, keeping her distance as she trailed behind you with a wary look. This was probably the only chance for her to get home, she couldn’t risk losing it. ‘This job would bring unavoidable losses, sacrifices, and risks.’ She reminded herself.

⛰︎↟ ⛰︎↟ ⛰︎↟

Laswell didn’t know how long the two of you were walking for. An hour at least from how her feet were starting to get sore. This whole time, you haven’t said anything. Not a peep or glance her way. You were undeniably quiet. In fact, a little too quiet for her own comfort. With every step you took, it was like you were floating. Pristine and soundless. The crunch of leaves being heard by her own movements. Creepy.

Finding the courage, she spoke up. “How long have you been here for? It’s well hidden from the outside world.” She inquired, making a show of looking around to distract herself from her own self-consciousness. Shockingly, you halt in your steps, almost like you weren’t expecting her to ask questions, let alone about you.

“I’ve been here for most of my life. It was my family’s home originally. They’ve passed long ago now, leaving me with it.” You admit. Irritation lacing your tone at the mention of your parents. Must not have a good relationship with them. She couldn’t blame you, her relationship with hers was rather.. complicated. She barely saw them but on days she did, all she saw was disappointment and disgust. Partly because of her job, and the other half when they found out that their good daughter didn’t meet their traditional standards. She was fine with that. Sometimes she couldn’t bear to see their faces let alone hear them. It was for the best. Still, she felt bad for asking.

“I’m sorry to hear that, I did-” You wave a hand dismissively, turning around to face her. “No need.”

Laswell didn’t ask any more questions. A few minutes passed by before you stopped in your tracks. “We are here.” You announced. Nothing seemed to be too out of the ordinary, it was much more spacious, trees surrounding the empty land they were on, a few rocks covered in moss along with a few violets blooming in purples and whites. Perhaps this was a common area for hitchhikers to be rescued for those who got lost. ‘You probably encounter plenty of people carelessly wandering into the woods.’

“Well, this is where we go our separate ways.” You say, turning around without a goodbye and beginning to walk back into the endless path. Not putting too much thought into it, Laswell calls out for you. “Wait!” She shouts, watching you stop, and turn around to meet her nervous gaze. “I just wanted to say thank you.. for everything.” Laswell admits, a gust of wind passing between you two as you continue to stay silent. “I never got your name, I’m Kate, Kate Laswell.” She says, almost breathlessly. Anticipation filling her senses as you grab onto the corner of the piece of cloth and lift it up. Immediately, she’s struck by the void of your eyes. A small smile she could only describe as sad decorating your face before you opened your mouth.

“Don’t worry, you’ll forget.”

Laswell didn’t have the chance to ask what you meant before her knees buckled, making her lose her balance and fall to the ground. Black dots taking over her vision. She was immobile, unable to speak or move as she watched you disappear into the trees. Laswell felt herself being disassembled from her own body, a voice in the back of her mind begging her to get up. She couldn't. Her vision slowly dimmed, a force luring her into the abyss again until she couldn’t reach the top of the ocean and let the darkness consume her as a whole.

(A/N: I’ve had this whole idea planned out already for quite some time but never really could commit to it, until now!! I’m so happy I got to finish it after months. Hope you guys enjoy! <33)

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soratoninn · 1 year

Text

/ some typa’ way. a. arlert /

tw . . . mature, female anatomy (she/her) pronouns, black coded reader, l word, switch armin, fingering, rough sex, titty fucking, raw dogging, blowjob, dirty talk, pn ( babe, baby ) alcohol, choking, mentions of overstim, (2) rounds, creampie

length. . . 11.4k

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ★

your miserable sighs radiated off the walls of the hazy and dimly lit bar. you twirl the callus of your index finger around the crystalline shot glass, thinking rough and hard about not only your life in nursing school but also the affairs in your outside life. you were exhausted no doubt. not only having to stay arm and arm with your work and professors but also having to do shifts at a nursing home to gain experience. you were working your ass off now, but you knew sooner rather than later it would pay off.

a life full of chanel bags, travel, dior, fun, first class, no kids, shaking ass on a lavish yacht with your bestest girlfriends, chauffeurs, and exotic restaurants.

to sum it up, a life you deserved.

but although that was the future and right now the present sucked, you still had things keeping you sane.

those things being those best friends you had plans doing not so classy activities with, the few professors that actually put in the work to explain materials to you after a long lecture, some of your co-workers,

and then last but not least—

your fuck buddy, armin arlert.

an upcoming police officer still undergoing school and training with his best friend, eren. you two had gone to different high schools but were initially introduced your junior year by your friend—christa, who you were also attending nursing school with.

the blonde didn’t have as good a stomach as you did. she couldn’t stomach wounds or even the thought of having to probably stick her hand in a woman during birth to potentially save their life if they were hemorrhaging. which is why you were a bit confused about why she wanted to join the particular field of nursing she did. but you were sure when it came time, she would find her place and not disappoint due to her concentrated and caring attitude.

but enough about christa. back to armin.

to put it simply, armin was sexy. and you knew the minute he got his uniform, gun, and badge, he would be the ultimate panty dropper.

but for now, he was yours.

you both had developed a friendship over time and it gradually got deeper by the time you two had graduated.

the first time you two had fucked, it was completely unexpected. you two were at a varsity college party and unlike your friends that were undeniably fitting in, you two had a much harder time. you had driven your drunk friends to your house and let them crash there. you were catching up with one another and one thing led to another and sooner rather than later you two were quietly and without any experience once however—sharing not-so-innocent touches in your old bedroom.

deciding that you didn’t want your intimacy to end, you both kept it up. beginning to grow more mature and experienced in bed, he slowly learned your body. what you liked, where you liked to be touched, and the parts that he touched that drove you insane. he made love to you soft. gentle. like he had all the time in the world.

never in his life dreaming of hurting you.

and it was nice at first! of course, it was! he treated you like a princess in bed and gave you nothing less than princess treatment. showing you the delights and sweet pleasure of his tongue and the ecstasies he could bring about with just two fingers. he was what anyone woman would want in bed.

but there was the con of him being too damn soft. it was so fun with him and you really didn’t want to ruin it because of your selfish tendencies and wants. you wanted him to be rough with you. you wanted to be manhandled. treated like a whore. for him not to stop until you were a sobbing mess.

you wanted to be fucked.

and you knew he just wouldn’t go for it.

you tried to initiate it once before. telling him to put his hand around your throat and moaning out for him to go harder. faster. and he did go harder, and somewhat faster— making sure his strokes were nice and deep to get you pumped up. but the thing was that his hand didn’t meet your neck once.

“girl, what’s wrong? your vibes been off since we got here!” your friend aliyah asked, and you groaned at her question, grabbing your shot and downing it quickly. “I’ll tell you, it’s that lil piece of hers that got her feelin' some typa way,” your friend, hope kicked in, and you rolled your eyes. you drop your head with a whine and feel your friend's hands rub your back.

“he just won’t. . . he’s so perfect it’s just. . .” you trickle out and they let out a few ‘awes’. “what’s wrong?! tell us everything!” aliyah exclaims taking a sip of her alcohol-infused soda.

“armin. . . he just won’t…” you stop, not even being able to verbally spit the words out. “come on girl! get it out! it’ll feel much better!” hope encourages and you finally feel something snap. “he just won’t fuck me right…” you whisper, and they gasp. before they can jump to any conclusions, you make sure to clear up any speculations degrading armin as a partner.

“no, not like that! he’s really good in bed. like the absolute best! he’s patient, slow, encouraging, and he’s really sweet,” you say, and they tiredly deadpan in confusion. “but… i don’t think i want our sessions to be slow and sweet anymore.” you finish, and their expressions light up. they clasp their hands together with a squeal.

“oh my god! our precious little y/n wants to be fucked like a slut!” you embarrassingly slap your forehead with your palm, feeling all eyes on you right about now. “wellll, have you considered talking to him about it?” hope asks, and you go right back to sulking.

“no, but i’ve tried to hint at it but he just didn’t get the memo i guess,” you respond and they finally begin to understand where you were coming from.

“well, baby, i hate to say it… but a closed mouth don’t get fed. if you want him to do something, you have to tell ‘im. you can’t expect him to read your mind,” aliyah states, and you nod your head in comprehension. “yeahhh, i know. . . it’s just that armin is literally one of the best things that i have right now—“

your friends cleared their throats dramatically and started glaring holes in your head. you sighed before smiling and giggling.

“second best.”

“and i just really don’t wanna fuck it up because of something so small,” you added, and they just smiled. “don’t think too hard on it, baby. i’m sure everything’ll come around,” hope said, and aliyah agreed.

you feel a weight lifted off your shoulder and finally feel able to enjoy your night with your best friends.

as your conversation ended, little did you know a certain muscular dark-brown-haired man was eavesdropping on your every word. he drank his last sip of shirley temple (without alcohol), taking the cherry in his mouth and letting the sweet juice ooze to fire up his taste buds. he threw the stem in the cup and let a twenty lay flat on the wooden bar island.

ᝰ

a tired armin walked out of the steaming bathroom with a white towel wrapped around his hips and one drying the blonde strands of his hair. he strolled over to the dark wooded nightstand of his apartment and grabbed his phone checking for any notifications.

notifications specifically coming from you.

much to his dismay, nothing. absolutely nothing from you. he sighed before putting it back down. you hadn’t texted him for over a week. we’re you ghosting him? he hadn’t been sure what he had done wrong.

so that’s exactly why he had sent his man bun having friend to spy on you at the bar you occasionally attended with your girlfriends when you had spare time.

and as if on cue, his spying friend walked through the door of their shared apartment. he removed his black hoodie the minute he walked through the door— his prominent v-line and built figure becoming more and more toned by the day from him working out like a maniac to prepare for life in the police force.

“so, how is she?” armin voiced first, and eren took his hair from his elastic hair tie. “looked healthy and alive to me,” eren responded nonchalantly whilst walking to his dresser to pull a black tee from his drawer. while eren had his back turned, armin dropped his towel and took the opportunity to pull on a fresh pair of cotton boxers.

“you hear anything important?” he asked while pulling a white beater from his drawer. the room went silent for a bit as if eren was deciphering something. and then, a light bulb popped into his head.

“actually, yeah.”

armin continued to search through his drawers for a pair of sweat-shorts, waiting for him to finish up with his words. he finally found a pair, putting them on and letting them loosely and comfortably hang from his hips. as armin reaches for his reading glasses, eren finally finishes his sentence.

“something about you not fucking her right,”

eren concludes, and armin freezes.

his arm stopped in mid-air not even touching his glasses. he turned around, meeting his friend's eye with a glare. “that’s not funny, eren,” armin deadpanned. they shared cold eye contact before eren broke and snickered.

“chill out lover boy. she didn’t say that but from what i’ve heard, it was something about her wantin’ to be fucked like a slut instead of all that mushy shit you keep doing.” armin slightly gasped, and his eyes dropped to the floor. he grabbed his glasses and put them on, letting his eyesight enhance.

“armin, don’t take it to heart. she doesn’t wanna ditch you. she just doesn’t wanna fuck everything up by making you uncomfortable. and of course, her being an awkward overthinker and taking the literal worst approach, just like you would— she just started avoiding you,” eren stated, and armin sat down on his bed with a sulk, sighing heavily.

“i know, i know. i just. . .” armin’s hands that rested between his thighs came up under his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “are you comfortable with that? like the whole being rough thing? i don’t think i’ve ever seen you real mad before,” eren asks, and armin moved his hands.

“i’m more than comfortable, i just don’t wanna fuck up and accidentally hurt her,” armin groaned out, and eren smirked.

“think you could hurt her more than her sexual frustration?” armin gave eren a stink eye and before he knew it, eren was laughing uncontrollably like a kid. “you’re an asshole, eren,” armin slightly smiled, and eren fell dramatically back on his bed.

“hey, don’t think too hard on it,” eren remarked at armin’s evident fuzzy expression. “i wanna do it. i’m gonna do it. it’s just that i like some of the mushy shit we do,” armin said, and began to ponder a little on his answer. “actually, I like a lot of it.” he finished and eren snickered.

“well, you don’t gotta stop doing everything you’re used to. really that’d make shit a lot more uncomfortable and weird faster than your head could spin. so just stick with what you're used to but just rock it out as you go” eren replied and armin took in the information. “yeah. you’re right.”

eren sighed before rolling over on his side, starting to get comfortable in his bed. before he could drift off, he uttered a few restless words to armin. “don’t forget. you owe me for making me look like a fucking creeper at that bar.” armin smiled, grabbing a book and a small flat panel book light from his nightstand.

“yup. wouldn’t forget for anything in the world.”

ᝰ

like always, you were incredible exhausted. you had did a shift at the 7-3 shift at the nursing home and lord knows you were tired. you thanked the heavens that you didn’t take the night shift because you weren’t sure if you would’ve been able to handle all the stress. you get out of your uber, and stride to your house. the house you grew up in, fortunately that your mom let you take while she was away living her life with no kids in jamaica.

you push the key in the door, twisting it and letting the door open. you walk in kicking it shut with your foot and locking it. you throw your key on the silver plate on the nightstand next to your front door. you head straight for the showers at this point feeling dirty and undignified. you felt like you smelled like old dirty must with a mix of musky lavender and old people. it was the fucking worst.

you walk into your bedroom, deciding to go a little more revealing considering you’d be alone tonight (so you’d thought). a black bra with matching panties and a robe. you took your scrubs and undergarments off, throwing them directly into your hamper. you twisted your frizzy hair into twists before sliding your pink butterfly decorated bonnet on. you put

your phone on the charger and rest it on the nightstand— and you wrap your towel around your body.

walking out of your room into the bathroom, you turn the knob of the shower and hold your hand out to check if the water was hot enough. when it was to your liking, you stepped in and automatically began bathing. you breathed out steadily and comfortably at the feeling of the water on your skin. you felt as if you were washing away not only the dirt, but your inner sins. showers like these were always the best after a long day.

you grabbed your rag, getting your sensitive skinned soap off the shower organizer and began lathering your body in it. there wasn’t a thought in your mind at the moment, but there was an unmistakably unsettling feeling settling on your skin.

it was as if your mind and energy from within was telling you something was going to happen. but you couldn’t mind it right now. not when you were so hyper fixated on how good the water against you felt. after about twenty-thirty minutes in the shower and the skin on the callus of your finger took a pruny look.

you wrapped your towel around your body and walked to your bedroom. you dry your body down, and begin to lather up in your shea butter and your method coconut, rice milk, and shea butter lotion that you grabbed off a high shelf from target. taking your bonnet off you take your curls out from the twists, slightly combing them out, but not too much to keep the slight tight lock look. you put your hair up in a loose ponytail, admiring the way the somewhat curls spilled out.

slipping your panties and bra on, you wrap your silk black robe around your figure. you slide your vanilla white fluffy slippers on and grab your phone and charger to ensure you wouldn’t have to move a fucking foot off the coach unless it was to use the downstairs bathroom. walking out of the bedroom, you make your way down the hall and start down the steps.

you walk into the living room and plug your phone up and put it on the couch before playfully jumping on the couch and rolling all the way over to the kitchen. you wobbly and giggly walk into the kitchen, and grab a glass from the bar cabinet. you slightly run the callous of your index finger along the bottles that courageously stood on the shelf. you decide you on an average, but good bottle of red wine.

you pour yourself a glass and open the refrigerator. your eye twitched, simply not wanting anything. but then your eyes fell upon a bag of green seedless grapes, and you smiled in victory.

putting the grapes into a bowl and washing them, you grab your wine and make your way to the couch. you put your drink down on the coffee table, carrying your bowl to turn out the light. sitting down you scroll for a movie or a show, settling for nonetheless the classic, shameless. your favorite porn with a plot. you grabbed the folded blanket on the couch and spread it over yourself.

this was fucking amazing.

you were finally laying back, your feet propped on the comfortable couch watching one of your beloved shows.

you had lost track of time, but all you knew was that it was dark outside and your glass of wine and grapes were gone having fallen pure victim to your mouth. you had dozed off to sleep with the show still running. maybe it was a symptom of working and going to school so much that you hadn’t even recognized that you were even asleep.

but you were pulled away when there was a knock to your door. you jolted awake, and shook the sleep away and let your hands rub at your eyes. god, what fucking time was it? you looked at the tv box surprised as you read 8:45 PM. no fucking way you were going to sleep now.

you stood up and rewrapped your robe, and slid your slippers back on. another knock erupted from the person behind the door and your eyebrow lifted. “just a minute!” you call out and you walked to the door — tiredly forgetting to look out of the peephole. you unlock it and open the door while continuously rubbing your eyes.

to your surprise, it was…

“armin?” your groggy voice is apparent as just having been sleep. “what’re you doing here-“ before you could finish your sentence, all of a sudden you were being shoved into your house. the door shut with the kick of a foot and suddenly your chest was pressed against it. the stupor of tire had fallen right out of you from the surprise. “armin! what are you— oh. . .!” you couldn’t suppress the sound of surprise that fell from your lips as armin suddenly snapped his hips up into you.

he offered you no words of welcome. instead, whispering in your ear; “do you want it?”

his words shock you at the suddenness off all of it. at the same time, you felt like you knew what “it” meant, but at the same time you didn’t. armin had never been this rough with you before. but with all the pent up sexual frustration you had from him not doing you the way you wanted to be did, you felt no reason to say no. in fact, you felt more motivated to get him more worked up.

“yes. . . yes, i want it.” you reply, grinding your ass back on him and you hear him groan behind you. you feel him ease up and you taken the opportunity to spin around and wrap your hands around his neck. he placed his hands on the back meat of your thigh motioning for you to wrap your legs around his waist. his strength coming in handy from him spending various hard working days and building muscles at the gym. his head dropped at your neck, sucking fierce hickeys into your skin.

you sigh blissfully at the feeling of him licking over your pleasure points. “why’re you being so aggressive, armin?” you softly breathe, rubbing your hands into his hair and massaging his scalp just the way he liked. “why’re you avoiding me?” he puts bass in his voice at the word you and you gasp as he bites your neck while violently pushing his hips up into you.

“i don’t know what you’re— fuck… talking about—“ you whisper out in between passionate moans. “tell me what you want.” between the malicious grinding and the nipping at the pleasure points of your neck, you felt your pride bit by bit going out the door he quite literally just came in from. “how do you want me to fuck you, y/n? a closed mouth won’t get fed,” his breath hit the shell of your ear and you let out a whine.

“please. . .” you moan, feeling overwhelmed in pleasure as you begin to work yourself up. “tell me, baby. please what?” his words came out like a command mixed with a whine and you budged. “armin. . . i want you to fuck me rough… fuck, please.” you feel him let out a shaken breath at your words as if he wasn’t expecting you to be so brazenly blunt.

“god, you’re so fucking hot. c’mere,” his command immediately fires and blazes up the candle lit between you two and your lips meet roughly. he walked toward the staircase and carried you at the same time. he pulled away from your lips for a bit, focusing on getting up the steps safely. it’d be a real mess if he lost footing and tripped down the steps with you still in his arms. that would surely kill the mood.

he gasped as he felt your lips kissing and slightly biting his neck, making sure not to leave any hickeys. you could hide your marks easily with makeup or even a long necked shirt under your scrubs. but armin unfortunately couldn’t. not when he was at training or at the gym. so that was a rule that was set between you two. finally, he was up the steps and he walked to your bedroom. he walked in and kicked the door shut with the heel of his shoe.

the minute he did you were already placed on the bed by him. he was already taking his shoes off and socks off, kicking them off to the side. he’d stalk toward you, and look you in the eye before rubbing your chin and jaw. “you sure you want this, babe? i don’t wanna hurt you,” his thumb rubbed over your lip and you smiled. the terms of endearment that you both called each other always made you feel bubbly inside even though you two weren’t in a relationship.

“you have no idea how much i want this armin. i want you so bad,” your hands rubbed over the tent that bulged out of his pants. he groaned before grabbing your hand. he had already knew where you were going with it.

“not like that.”

your hand rested back at your side and you noticed as his eyes were fixated on your chest then at your lips. you were slightly confused on what he was aiming at but then, it hit you.

oh.

his hands rubbed over your shoulder, and he smoothly slid your robe off your shoulders. you tense at the feeling of cold being met with your skin and the hair tickling feeling of the robe being slipped off. when your robe was entirely off of your upper half, his head slowly moved down to your head in a leaning position, and his hands placed themselves on either sides of your cheeks. his soft, buttered lips engulfed yours in a steamy kiss and you feel your thighs begin to tremble.

his hands rubbed the sides of your belly and you moaned into his mouth. his hands slither from cradling your face to your back. his hands maneuver their way to your bra and he unhooks it letting the hooks swiftly fly apart. he only moves away from you when you’re seemingly running out of breath. with another steaming tongue kiss, he moves away from you and stands at his full height. he takes your bra completely off and you shudder from the slight breeze in your room.

your eyes look up to his face, then down to his belt. his belt and pants were in the way at this point. your teeth slightly bite down on your lip and you give him a doe eyed expression. armin always gave you what you wanted the minute you gave him these eyes. your eyes fixated on his belt and your hands followed in pursuit. your hands rubbed the rough strap of his belt while letting your eyes roll up and meet his. keeping eye contact with him, he cracks first and you watch him toss his head back with a groans.

“can i please take these off, baby?” you ask, referring to both his pants and belt. he sighs blissfully. “fuck, yes. please,” he responds and you smile in victory. your hands scramble with his belt buckle, sliding the belt strap out and the metal part out. once the belt was unbuckled, you automatically remove the button from his pants and you slow your pace down a bit as you pull his hard cock from his boxers.

before you could take anymore control of the situation, armin grabbed a slight rough hold of your chin and moved your head up. you gasp and your arms move away from his cock on instinct. “slow down, i’m not going anywhere. okay?” his hand extends to your lip, and rubs your bottom lip. you repetitively nod in response and even you were taken aback by your sudden push into submission.

“talk to me, baby. i need you to use your words.”

fuck, you knew he was good at dirty talking you. he would always guide you through sex. but something about this felt so different and more sinful.

“yes, yes. okay,” you impatiently respond. “please let me touch you.”

armin felt his heart drop at this moment. you were already begging for him and he hadn’t barely touched you. he felt an ominous tingle settle on the back of his neck. it was taking him everything not to just bend you over the bed and take you over and over again until you physically couldn’t take it anymore.

“open your mouth.” you felt your stomach drop at his words. the tingles you felt in your stomach couldn’t be missed. you humbly abide by his command and part your lips, opening up enough so that his cock would fit. his hand tugged your head forward bringing you closer to his cock— which was dripping with pre-cum.

“you know what to do to me baby,” you don’t hesitate as you lick his tip and soon wrap your lips around it. “fuck yes, there you go,” you slowly move your head in, feeling tears prick your eyes automatically. you hollow your cheeks, and feel your head begin to cloud up at the lewd sounds that you two made as you both set a pace. his thumbs roughly dig into your head and he started to snap his hips up, meeting your mouth.

you hands gripped his shirt as you were really starting to depend on breathing through your nose. you felt your jaw begin to sore up and numb a little already from how rough he was being with you. “just like that b—babe, fuck. suck it like that. you’re doing so good f’me.”

armin was in heaven right now. he felt like the luckiest man on earth to see the sight laid upon him right now. your eyes lidded, your pretty hands gripping onto his polo white tee for dear life, and how fucking nasty and sinful you looked. your spit coated his cock in the nastiest way when you gave him head. but he didn’t want to get too lost in pleasure and forget about the tasks at hand. but it was so damn hard to find the courage to tell you to stop sucking him.

finally, after a few more thrusts and a few more gargles, he finally told you to stop. “fuck, fuck, stop.” you stopped the minute he told you to as if you’d been frozen. you pull him out of your mouth with a pop and he lets out a shaky chuckle as he wiped the spit from the side of your mouth. you give him a cloudy look of confusion and he just snickers again. “don’t wanna finish too quick. i still have a lotta other things i wanna do to you.”

fuck, he was driving you crazy. his words. his praise. his everything.

he guides his hands to yours and he puts your hands up to your chest. you already knew where this was going and you let yourself handle the rest. you pushed your tits together and armin admired the blasphemous sight before him.

“you gonna let me use you?”

“yes.”

“if it’s too much, you’ll tell me to stop, right?”

“mhm.”

“are you sure you sure you want this?”

“god, armin please just use me already,” your words make armin snap to realization. he was fucking up again. he had come this far and he wouldn’t dare kill the mood. “okay,” was all he said, before rubbing his cock on your tits. out of nowhere, you felt sudden wetness on your chest. your eyes peer down and— holy fuck.

he just spat on your tits.

he used his cock to spread his saliva all over your chest, lathering you up. he stopped when he was right under your boob, and to your surprise, he pushed right on up. he let out a moan, and your legs snapped shut like a swinging door. your thighs rub together and you whimper, beginning to work yourself up.

every-time he pushed his cock up, your lips were faced with his remaining inches. you could feel it. you were soaking. you were trying to release the tense feeling between your legs by rubbing your thighs together, but to no avail, it wouldn’t get you off. you wanted— no you needed to be filled by him. you needed to speed this process up. thus, this time when he pushed himself up into your breasts, you darted your tongue out on his tip.

the pitch of his moans went up, and his pace increased as he got needier and needier. “holy— fuck, fuck, fuck. . .” he moaned, and you could tell he was nearing the edge. it felt fucking amazing to know you were making him feel so good.

his whimpers were constant and the turns and twists of your stomach never ceased due to the lewdness of your activities. his face balled up and his hands gripped at your shoulders. “fuck. . . no more, no more,” he breathed out and you let your tongue lay flat back in your mouth. you stopped holding your breasts together and his hard cock snapped right back up to his abdomen. the sinful sight of you added kerosene to the fire that was already sparked between you two.

“fuck. turn over. turn over right fucking now.” his command does not slip into one ear and out the other. you immediately turn your body over, spreading out comfortably. you put your ass in the air and turn your head to the right side to catch a glimpse of him for his validation. “there you go, baby. so good f’me,” your pussy clenched at his praise, and his cold palm began to rub all over your body, starting at your asscheeks. he noticed how you sensitively jolted at his sudden touch.

“you must be so worked up. i’m so sorry, baby.” his hands rubbed down your sides before maneuvering down to push your panties down your thighs. you feel a shiver run down your spine at his actions. this position was so intimate to the point you couldn’t even hide from him. but at the same time, you couldn’t imagine running considering how needy he had you. “‘min…” you whimper out his name as he rubbed your thighs— clearly avoiding where you needed him the most.

“fuck, you’re so wet. this all for me?” he asked already knowing the answer. you groan at his question, and try to push your ass back on him. “what do you think, captain obvious?” he grins at your cattiness.

“should i not touch you at all?” you whine in regret, and your lips pout. “please, i’m sorry.” he smiled at your compliance and rubbed lovingly at your sides. his hands trailed back down toward your ass, and he finally let his finger slide between your lower lips. your whole body shuddered and soft moans spilled from your plump lips as he began to slowly circle your clit with both his ring and middle finger.

“fuck, a—armin. . . you’re driving me crazy,” you spill out with a groan as you push yourself back on his fingers. “i know, i know. i’ll make it all go away,” he reinsured softly, but in the most mocking tone. he let himself steady on the bed, towering over you. before you could register his sudden shadow, armin’s middle finger was buried into you with his ring finger slowly coming with it.

your mouth made an “o” shape at the sudden pressure. your surprised moans came quickly.

he curled his fingers inside you in search of the spongy spot that would make you scream for him.

without any surprises, he found it instantly.

“shit— oh shit,” you moaned out as his speed increased tenfold. usually when armin fingered you, he took his time with you to make sure you were fully prepared and to maybe even see if there was anything else he could do while doing it that would get you even more turned on.

but this?

this was rough and done without any remorse.

he was pounding you from the back with his long, slender fingers like a madman. your cheeks were flushed and you were drooling stupidly onto the pillows from your mouth being dropped open from pleasured shock and moans. you cried out at the feeling of armin’s fingers continuously fucking your spot, and your thighs began to tremble.

your mouth felt dry as if you had swallowed sand. but you still felt the need for his validation and permission.

“m gonna cum, ‘m gonna cum. armin please let me,” you cry out and he’s surprised at how submissive you were being. he wanted nothing more than for you, his pretty girl, to get what you wanted— which was sweet release. any other time, he would’ve gave it to you without any questions asked. but right now, you bitching about sensitivity before he got to the main course of the night was the last thing he needed.

thus, his response simply being a mean;

“no.”

he pulled his fingers out of you with a lewd popping sound, but that was nothing compared to the audible whine you let out feeling your euphoria that was to come being snatched away from you. you look back at him with a spiteful face, straight mean mugging him. before you could continue, he shut that shit down immediately with a hand around your throat.

“fix your face, y/n. only reason i didn’t let you cum was because i wanted you to do it on my dick,” he states, squeezing the sides of your neck ultimately forcing you back into a clouded and compliant state of mind. “but if you keep it up with this little attitude of yours, i won’t give you anything.” you whined out at his words, not wanting anything to do with the consequences of your actions. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry. please armin, i need it so bad,” you babble and armin just smiled.

he leaned down and kissed your shoulder, letting your neck go and you finally let yourself properly inhale and exhale. “since you have such good manners, ill give it to you. okay?” you nod repeatedly, letting out a stream of “yes” and “please”.

with your consent valid in green, he wrapped his hand around his cock, and brought it to your dripping hot sex. he rubbed your clit with his tip vertically, letting out a chilled breath at the way your pussy was already coating him in the nastiest way and he hadn’t even got a taste of her.

“m gonna put it in now, okay?” he leaned down with his dick in his left hand while he used his right to place himself as he pressed a kiss to the side of your head. “you’ll tell me if i’m too rough or if you wanna stop and take it easy, right?”

“mhm, i will. i swear,” in these moments with him kissing the side of your head and whispering in your ear about how lucky he was to be with you in these moments made everything that wasn’t him and the comfortable cotton sheets under you dissolve into nothingness. it was just you, him, and your bed floating above ground without gravity holding it down.

and you were still floating as he kept whispering in your ear and slowly sunk himself into you. your mouth was dropped open with no sounds coming out as you instinctively focused on the pressure on your lower half. armin was panting out breaths trying hard not to absolutely obliterate you in searching for his own pleasure.

his whisperings of; “i’ve got you,” and “you’re doing so well already,” never ceasing. once he sunk all the way in, he could feel your cunt pulsing and clenching on him. he knew you were trying to adjust, but if you kept this up he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to do what you wanted.

“stop. fucking. doing. that.” armin hissed out. the aggression in his tone masked the neediness that coated him like polish. he slowly moved himself back, before sliding into you. he wanted to go slow with you first before speeding up because he didn’t want to overwhelm you.

now, you were both softly moaning in symphony. you couldn’t deny that you loved this position and the way he was fucking you in it. part of you hated yourself for even daring to complain about the way he fucked you, but you couldn’t deny your interest in trying different things. but you did feel like shit and overall ashamed about the way you went about it.

“m sorry, i’m s—hm! sorry ‘min,” you babble out, slightly stumbling on your words as you could feel him pressing against your spot. armin’s brows furrowed, but his confused face shortly took on a face twisted in blind pleasure. “f—for what?” he asked, kissing your shoulder blade.

his affection made tears prick your eyes and your heavy breaths kept coming out. you kept trying to form coherent words but they all came out pressed together.

“foravoidingyou.”

the chuckle that armin let out came out raspy. his hips continued to grind into you at a somewhat faster rate, but it was still nice and intimate. he swapped with his left hand and used it to hold himself up. he now used his right to wrap around your throat, squeezing the side making your head go airy. your eyes rolled back and your pussy clenched. armin grunted from the pressure.

he used his hand to turn your head and let his lips press against yours. you both breathed into each others mouths intimately. “s okay, baby. don’t think. just feel good.” you listened to his command, nodding repeatedly. he took advantage of your soon open mouth and slipped his pink tongue inside. you rocked your hips back on his, and the wet clapping sounds that filled the room made it obvious what you two were doing.

you two sloppily made out and you moaned as he suckled on your tongue. he pulled away from your lips, before suddenly licking them and your teeth. “focus on me, baby. i’m all yours,” he moaned out, his eyes going doe and his abdomen clenching up.

god, if only you knew he could fuck you like this forever. but much to his favor and his dismay, he couldn’t.

and he wouldn’t.

he moved up, sliding out of you as he stood up off the bed. before you had the chance to whine and beg for him to come back, a hand was being wrapped around your ankle and you were being dragged backwards. you gasp as your ass is met with armin’s length, which he taps on your pussy.

he marvels at the way your pussy was practically drooling on his cock. you were fucking perfect for him. “you’re dripping on me. . .” he lets his right hand find it’s place on your ass while the other grabs his cock ready to put it back inside. you burned with anticipation. you knew what was to come and what sort of treatment he was about to feed you. maybe that’s why you suddenly tensed up. he tried to slip back inside of you, but was shortly denied entry when your tense walls pushed him back out.

“i’m gonna give you exactly what you’ve been wanting, baby. but i need you to relax f’me, yeah?” you nod, still feeling your heartbeat out of your chest. “breathe for me, baby. we have time. if you’re not ready it’s okay. we’re here to be safe.”

you didn’t want to stop. not at all. you ached and it was an ache only armin himself could relieve. you look back at him with one side of your cheeks buried in the bed.

“i need you, please, armin.”

the doe eyed (fuck me) look you gave armin made something in him snap suddenly like a rubber band. suddenly the patient, proper young man his mother brought him up to be flew out of him like a bat out of hell. he gripped your hip and grabbed himself before again, rubbing himself against your cunt vertically.

“you are driving me fucking insane,” he aggressively rasped, before mercilessly sinking his cock into you. the gasp you let out was elongated. he wasted no time pulling his hips all the way back and snapping them inside of you. you let out a hiss and a moan feeling him drag so expertly against your walls.

now, all that ran through armin’s head was what eren told him you said at the bar. his simple and blunt words of; “something about you not fucking her right” played back in his head like a broken record.

and maybe that was why he felt the need to show you just how strong and swift he’d gotten during long days of training and long nights at the gym. he wanted you to feel it. to feel him. and maybe that’s why he didn’t recognize how his pace had increased— fucking you like an animal that had something to prove.

“ah, ah, f—fuck!” you loudly moan. armin hissed at the tensity of your walls, biting down on his bottom lip. his hands slide up and grip your hips to bring you backwards to meet his thrusts.

“min’. . .” you moan out, your hands gripping the pillows strongly trying to brace yourself. something about this type of sex made you feel vulnerable, but you felt so good.

but little did you know, armin hadn’t even made half of an effort yet.

“you’re fucking me—mphm— so goodd,” you pant out and armin groans. “yeah?” he panted out in a raspy voice, not once letting the rock of his hips come to a halt. the fast, wet and loud clapping noises that came from you two were fucking nasty. nastier than they were before when he was fucking you slow and with pure purpose.

“mhm,” you moaned back to him.

his head tilted back with his lips parted as he let out soft moans. his hair fell back with him, and his eyes forced themselves shut as he was grasping in the pleasure. after a few seconds of drinking in his own pleasure, he gained back self control and decided it was time to really make you feel good.

his hair was messy and his forehead began to develop small beads of sweat due to quite the workout he was getting in. his grip on your hips stabled and he’d begin to brace himself for the way he was about to fuck you. because little did you know, the speed and intensity he was fucking with you just a moment ago was nothing compared to how he was gonna fuck you now. he pulled back letting only his tip rest inside of you.

he knew that you probably thought he was gonna go right back to how he was doing you before. but it was quite the contrast because when he pushed in, he was automatically angling at your spot.

you didn’t realize how long your loud moan was until your voice had cut off, not allowing you to let anything out.

he pulled his hips back before slamming into you again and you shuddered at the sensitive feeling of him in your stomach. he kept up with fucking you aggressively with a fucked out flushed face and upper teeth digging into his plush bottom lip. the increased speed and impact of his thrusts had you sobbing crocodile tears in fat globs.

“baby, s’ too deepp. . .” you cry and sniffle into the sheets. you felt the wind being knocked out of you from every push of his hips. you had no fucking idea what was going through armin’s head right now and that scared you. but you couldn’t lie that it made you wetter, which gave him all the more access.

“take it. i know you can.” his words make you whine, but you never would’ve expected that his response to your brattiness would’ve been a hard palm coming down to brutally slap your ass. you sobbed loudly, your mouth sputtering apologies. your cries fell on death ears as armin continued fucking you with no remorse.

instinctively, your hands went behind you to push at hips to try and slow him down. “move your hand.” your attempts failed as armin gripped both of your wrists in his left hand while his right roughly clapped down on your ass. you tried to pussy out and run away from the pleasure, but armin at this point was sick and tired of your shit.

he spanked you once, before once turned into five times. he groaned as your ass jiggled back in his palm and he left your bottom stinging and red. “stop fucking running,” he started, his tone husky as he growled listening to you sob and moan out in pleasure into the sheets.

“why do you never listen to me? do i treat you too well?” you shook you head no repeatedly, not being able to form words from how perfectly his tip rested against your spot. your legs were shaking and you were sure how long you would be able to take him like this.

“y/n,” he called out your name, and he had felt you clench on him.

you were going dumb on him a little too soon for his liking.

“open your mouth and talk.” your lips quivered and you forked over the first response that thankfully spilled into your head.

“i’m sorry. i’ll be good. i love the way you treat me, armin.” if armin wasn’t red before, he was definitely now. “then let me make you cum. please, baby. i’ll make you feel so good,” he meant for his words to be slightly dominant, but they only came out in a whiny tone and you nodded, sniffling.

“o—kay.” he let you catch up with your breath, before pulling out halfway and pushing back in. he gripped your wrist behind your back with both of his strong hands to help you meet his thrusts. his veins were bulging out of the back of his hand while he grabbed them. his pace increased and you were sure passersby heard not only your moans, but his too. the bed kept hitting the wall, possibly even putting a dent into it.

“armin, a—armin!” tears kept spilling from your face and you felt your orgasm about to roll in. “y—yes, baby? fuck— you feel so fucking good,” his praise made you moan out and clench his cock. “cum— i’m gonna cum!” he whimpered in response, feeling his abdomen begin to swirl with a tingling sensation he was all too familiar with.

“m. . . me too,” he whispered, panting out. he was swearing under his breath, saying how good you were making him feel, and how he felt so lucky to be with you like this.

with another thrust of his hips and more words of praise, you had came with a cry and scream of his name. you couldn’t hold yourself up anymore and your knees had given out. thankfully, you had a caring man behind you who immediately wrapped his arms around you. he held your waist up to fuck you through your orgasm. he leaned down and pressed kisses to your shoulder.

he was moaning close in your ear, his heavy breaths for air kissing your ear. “m so close,” he moaned out, and your walls involuntarily clamped down on his cock. your teeth bit down on your lip and you whimpered at the sensitivity. but you wanted his validation more than anything right now. “s okay min, you can use me.” he moaned back at you in response and he could feel your legs shake under him.

he knew you were sensitive from your recent orgasm and the last thing he wanted to do was cause pain for you. “t—thank you, baby. thank you so much. i. . . i’ll be quick. i promise,” he babbled in your ear, and you were still hazy from how hard euphoria had hit you. you tried not to focus on the raw stimulation as armin continued to drill himself into you.

he was a moaning mess in your ear, and you knew he was bound to cum soon from how sloppy his thrusts were.

everything armin did was done with precision and was always thoroughly thought out before he carried it out. but when armin was about to release, it was a side that not even he himself knew he had.

“agh, fuck!” he whimpered and he was right on the tipping edge. he continued on for a few moments until he finally pulled out and after stroking himself, he finally busted. he came on the stinging skin of your ass. he was trying to be careful to not crush you with his body weight.

you both took breaths for air trying to catch up with the session you two just had. he was the first to catch up and he rolled over to lay next to you. he let his arms wrap around you, pulling you into an embrace. he rubbed your bare back and you sighed into his touch. “that was really. . .” he started and you smiled.

“fucking amazing,” you both finished and you looked at each other with widened eyes, startled. you both laughed and you snorted, causing more laughter to emit from you two. once the laughter died down, you both looked into each others eyes, and he moved a sweaty piece of your hair out of your face.

“you look so beautiful. you always do,” he said with a blush on his face, and a toothy smile paints your face. you lean in and press a kiss to his forehead, then to his cheek, and finally to his lips. it was funny how he had just literally obliterated your insides and now he was cuddled up with you while rubbing your back.

“thank you, baby. you treat me so well.”

his face was still flushed and you found it to be normal. well that was until he started to look away from you and avoid eye contact with you. your hand went to his cheek and caressed it with your thumb. “min, what’s wrong?” you ask, genuinely concerned.

“i. . .” he started, and he looked at your smiling, encouraging face. due to that, he felt less insecure telling you what he wanted from you. “i wanna go again.” his words stun you a bit, and he automatically takes it as a no. “m sorry, m sorry. i’m so greedy for asking that,” he apologizes repeatedly, and you immediately snap him out of it.

“no, no, you’re good. i promise. just— can you get me towel or something to wipe off the. . . y’ know…” he nodded as he got up and you admired how strong he’d gotten. his chest and legs were toned, his abs were coming in, and his calves were looking strong too.

he went into the bathroom and grabbed a fresh towel off one of the metal hooks. he walked back in and sat back on the edge of the bed. you turned over and his hand gripped the towel as he wiped his own sticky substances off the curve of your ass.

he balled the towel up before tossing it into the hamper— ultimately making it. he smiled in childish victory watching you move back to rest your head in the pillows. he chuckled, laying his palm flat for stabilization as he climbed on top of you. he kissed your lips lovingly, and your hands found their place on either sides of his cheeks. your inner thighs found the sides of his hips. he pulled away from your mouth slightly— but overall, he was still close. a sloppy wet sound emitted from your mouths.

“how do you want it?” he asked, panting against your kiss swole lips. in this moment, you wanted him to be closer than ever to you. you wanted him to be slow and to treat you like delicate glassware that would break by one small irresponsible touch. you kissed him again, wrapping your arms around his neck trying to bring him closer to you. when you parted again, he was blushing against you and you could definitely feel his cock hardening against you.

“i want you to be slow, please?”

“yes!” he says louder than usual, and when he realized the height of his tone, his cheeks took on a pink hue. “yes of course.” he said that im a more regular tone and he toothily smiles at you, leans his face to the side, and kisses you smoothly. he behaved like a man who had just hit the lottery. although he had just came to find out he enjoyed fucking you like a man who had lost his morals, he loved fucking you slowly and worshipping every last part of you.

“ready?” he whispered in your ear and he put his face in your neck, licking the side of it. “mhm, yes,” you moan out as he started to suck deeper bruises into your neck. your body shivered intensely in anticipation. he kept his face hidden in your neck. the inner thighs that were just resting on his hips turned into your legs being wrapped around his slutty waist.

you could feel his tip sliding up and down on your clit. you let your fingertips play with the locks of his hair and massage his scalp as he slowly slid himself back into you. your lips part from the blazing stretch.

“fuck. . .” you both whimper in sync. when he bottomed out inside you, you were a whining mess. you were still a lil sensitive from your previous orgasm and feeling him twitch inside you left you with a feeling of fullness and euphoria.

armin knew that all the feelings you may have felt at once may have been overbearing, so he kissed your forehead lovingly and dipped his head to your ear. “doing so good f’me,” he moaned in your ear and your top teeth dug into your bottom lip in response.

“you feel so good. . . i could stay inside you forever,” he whispered, and you moaned back at him in response. “g—goddamn baby. . .” he whimpered and when he confidently pulled his hips back and snapped them up, you could feel your resolve crumble bit by bit. you felt ashamed each time he would fuck inside you and talk to you in the dirtiest ways because of the way your pussy would squelch— ultimately talking back to him.

you had truly felt whole with him pressing kisses to your head, him whispering how proud he was of you, how lucky he was to even be within an inch radius of you, and how good your pussy felt. all the intimacy mixed with pleasure was too much for you and you knew your neighbors fucking hated both of you.

there were four words to describe how you felt in these moments.

loved.

cherished.

respected.

comfortable.

never once had you felt neglected by armin and it was insane how one person, a man at that, could make you feel so valued and precious.

you felt a tear spill from your eye at the overwhelming feeling of him fucking you so good. “i feel so good, armin. . .” you whimper, your hands struggling to find their place before settling on his back. you were trying to be careful not to mark him up, but you just couldn’t help it. your nails dug into his back before you knew it. but to your surprise, he just moaned in response. “i love the way you make me feel— ah!” a sharp gasp emitted from your throat as you were cut off by his cock sitting right at your spot. your eyes had widened up and armin grinned.

bullseye.

he had snapped his hips back up as if he was teasing you and it was no surprise when your nails gripped him harder and a noisy moan escaped you.

“right there, baby?”

you couldn’t even sweep up a response as you were left speechless. your eyes were halfway shut as if you were high and he could tell you were left in a feeling of euphoria that was hard to process. you were trying to speak, but all that was coming out was nonsense, whimpering and whining. he couldn’t help but feel bad for you as tears began to feel your eyes and your legs shook around his hips.

he kissed your lips and made a frowning face. “awe, ‘s okay, baby. i’ll make it feel better,” he says as he nods his head somewhat mockingly. but damn did he live up to his expectations and make it feel better he did because right after he said he would, he chased the spot down effective immediately. “oh— fuck!” you moaned, your back arching up into his chest. if you thought the noises of your pussy were embarrassing before, you were utterly mistaken because these noises were just downright nasty.

he was beating your pussy up raw and all you could do in response was just lay there and take it. “oh m’ fcking. . . mphm, fuck!” as you moaned, your mouth hung open pathetically and armin took the opportunity to suckle on your bottom lip, occasionally biting it. if only you knew how good you looked taking him down like this. although his pace increased, his gentleness and the intimacy he provided didn’t cease once however. once he stopped sucking your lips, he started kissing all over your face in places like your cheeks, forehead, chin, and jawline.

once again, the feelings of his love begin to swell in your heart. his lips fanned your ear as he whispered the nastiest things you had ever heard in your life. such as; “i can never get enough of this pussy, i swear.” your nails drug down his back the harder he went and the more he whispered in your ear. you felt your heart jump when you heard him hiss in what you assumed was pain.

you knew nine times outta ten, you drew blood from him. “m sorry,” you cried out, tears spilling from your eyes, and armin could’ve melted from your cuteness. you were too fucking adorable.

“its okay, baby. i know you can’t help it,” he whispered, kissing the side of your lip. he sat up, sitting on his knees and grabbed your hips to drag you forward. your bit the inside of your cheek at the feeling of him ultimately dragging you down on his cock. but he looked in you in your eyes as he readjusted himself inside of you to fit snug against your spot. through your teary eyes, you could see him grin.

“does that feel good baby?”

you swore— the audacity of this motherfucker.

he had your legs twitching uncontrollably and you were practically reduced to a whimpering mess. then he had the balls to you a dumbass question such as that. of course it felt fucking good. but you wouldn’t— no more so you couldn’t open your mouth to speak against it.

when he pushed forward with his tip punching right at your spot, your walls spasmed and you clenched his cock. his teeth grit at the feeling of your tight walls sucking him in as if you were trying to milk him for all he had. you were nonetheless reduced to a dumb mess. you could feel your pussy leaking a mess onto the sheets below and the sticky slick that emitted from the both of you made him slip in so fucking easy.

your vision was blurry as armin kept fucking you. his fingers dug into your hips as he rocked you back and forward to help you meet his thrusts. it was safe to say that he was using you like a sex doll, but there was still him now moaning compliments. you were sure the entire block you lived on had an idea of how good your pussy was.

the man on top of you looked so fucking good. his head tilted back. his mouth dropped slightly open with the prettiest sounds coming from it. his head dropped as he looked at you. he let his left hand take control of your hips impressively as his right hand was now used to rub your bottom lip soothingly. he dropped down to lean his face closer to yours, and he began to fuck you much deeper. your tongue hung from your mouth disgustingly as you could feel the release you were waiting on.

his hips grind into you in the sexiest way possible. you couldn’t believe how good he had gotten at this. his tip knocked against your cervix and you moaned. “a—armin, i’m gonna— oh, god.”

armin knew what was gonna happen better than anyone. so instead of letting it break his stride, he let his thumb hook into your mouth and like a slut, you sucked on it the second he slid it in. he smiled like someones proud father and took it of your mouth. he stopped for a moment, letting you breathe. his left hand now left your hip and he sat up once more, towering over you. he let his hand wrap around your throat and squeezed it tighter than what he did previously. “is that too tight?” he asked and you cutely shake your head no.

“‘s just perfect, ‘min.”

he blushed, and slid himself back into you. you moaned loudly the minute he put it back in. it was like he was an expert at automatically finding your spot. it was insane the way he knew your body and its routes. he could tell he had surprised you when he put his spit soaked thumb on your puffy clit because when he did, you screamed and clenched him nice n tight.

with his thumb rubbing tight circles on your pearl and the hand on your throat experimentally squeezing the sides, you were seeing fucking stars. you knew what it was the second you started seeing white lines cloud your vision. you were about to cum, and you couldn’t even verbally tell him. armin could tell you were though because of the way you were trapping him as if you wanted him to knock a son into you. your toes were wiggling dumbly in the air and your eyes rolled back into your skull.

and just like that, you came. but what you didn’t pick up on was that this release was different from others because the minute you came, you loudly moaned three words that would change your relationship. words that a normal person would want to tell someone over a nice dinner.

you didn’t expect to yell so suddenly;

“i love you!” as your head was in the clouds.

but what was also unexpected was that the minute you said it, armins crumbled and came. he had spilled one right inside you and you couldn’t complain. when you had realized what you said, your eyes had widened like you had seen a ghost.

armin’s cheeks were pink like he’d been sunburnt as he was catching up with his breaths. sweat rolled down his forehead and down his body, and as if he was in a fitness commercial, the pearl of sweat rolled down his abs. he looked too damn good as his glow started to come in.

you both were looking at each other lopsided and stupid. both of you blinking dumbly as if he didn’t just batter your guts up.

you were the first to break the silence with a; “armin, i—“ but before you could finish, armin cut you off. “did you mean it or was it like some. . . in the moment shit?” he asked and your eyes darted to the side. “i won’t be mad with you either way, y’know—“

“i meant it,” you rush out nervously. you feel your cheeks heat up nervously and a flush of heat coat your body. the nervousness made you accidentally clench his cock and you both hiss at the sensitivity. his cock was beginning to soften inside of you and he bit his lip. “imma take it out now. ‘kay?” you nodded and braced yourself for the nasty feeling. he slowly began to pull out of you and you shivered. it was uncomfortable, but there was still a slight quiver in your lower belly.

the second he was out of you, he pulled your body into his giving you kiss after kiss. “fuck, you don’t know how happy i am to hear that,” he says and you smiled. he lay his head atop of yours and pressed a kiss to your hairline. you hear him sniffle and you gasp.

you grab his cheeks and pull him away from your hips. you were surprised as his salty tears landed on your face. “armin, why’re you crying?!” you in a slight panic. he chuckled and dropped himself to your side. you pulled him closer to you and rubbed his scalp. “i don’t know. . . i’m just— so happy,” he continued to laugh and you smiled. he was so adorable. his arms closed around you and pulled you into a tight embrace. you felt like he was squeezing the air out of you, but you couldn’t complain. it was kinda comforting in a way.

after cuddling for a little, you both had decided it was time for you to pee, and a well needed shower for the both of you. as he sat up, he stretched his muscles and you let your head sit on your palm as you enjoyed the show. you couldn’t help but feel bad at the nasty cuts starting to form on his back.

but oh well.

at least people would know exactly who he belonged to.

“hey, you never said you love me back,” you mention, tapping your lip. he chuckled, letting his fingers comb through his hair leaving him with an effortless sexy push back look. “oh, oops.” he shrugged his shoulders with a smug grin and you let out a dramatic gasp. “asshole,” your hand fell on your heart with an offended look on your face.

he rolled his eyes sky high and you gasp again before throwing a pillow straight in his direction— to which he of course caught. he tilt his head with a cocky smirk.

of course you found his expression hot as fuck though.

armin laughed before getting back on the bed and scooping you into his arms. he tickled the sides of your stomach and you giggled. he showered you in kisses all over your face and he was so damn swift you could barely meet him with half of them. he stopped and you two maintained eye contact with smiles on your faces.

“i love you too, y/n.”

butterflies pooled in your stomach and he kissed your forehead.

“so when am i taking my pretty, sexy, n beautiful girlfriend out?”

2023 WRITTEN soratoninn on tumblr, wattpad, and ao3. do not copy, modify, redistribute, translate, or write spin off stories based off of my own content. remember, plagiarism is annoying.

~ if you want to be tagged in future works, lmk in the comments.

#: sora writes! :🍃#armin arlert #attack on titan #aot #snk #aot smut #snk smut #aot armin #armin #2023 #snk armin #armin arlert smut #armin smut #armin x black reader #@soratoninn

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theartistisme43 · 3 months

Text

Chapter Two: The Smell of Copper and Disinfectant

HOSPITAL, BLOOD, PANIC ATTACK, AND GUN MENTION TW:

There was a dense ringing in SMG4’s ears as he floated in a void of numbness, he could hear a distant beep every now and then, and muffled, discombobulated talking…

4 didn’t know where he was, or what was happening… Every time he tried to figure it out, something pulled him into a deeper rest, but he could feel himself getting closer to a light every time he attempted to gather his thoughts.

All he remembered was creating tomato soop, and then… Nothing.

4 tried to get out of whatever state he was in, but he felt trapped and unable to move, as if he was being weighed down by something, almost like…

Sleep paralysis?…

Was he asleep?

The more he thought of it, the more he could hear, the more he could feel, the more he could think.

Just like a knife, memory cut into him.

“I’m sorry, I have to do this…”

BANG!

With a gasp, SMG4 shot up in bed, making Mario almost fall back with a gasp of his own.

4’s eyes refocused as his mind began to process where he was, as they tiredly scanned the area around him.

All of his friends were here, scattered around in his hospital room.

Just as 4 intended to speak, a sharp, horrible pain made him hiss in reaction. He looked down, seeing a gauze pad that was secured by tight bandages wrapped around his chest and back to hold it in place. 4 could feel how tender his skin was under the medical wraps.

“…wh…” He found his voice as he winced hard.

A gloved hand took his, as Mario looked at him with love in his eyes… And an air of sorrow to them too.

“Miei cari Quattro... ero così preoccupata!” The red plumber embraced him, avoiding his wound.

SMG4 enjoyed the hug for a moment, but wondered what all the fuss was about, he couldn’t remember what happened for some reason… Did he have a kitchen accident or something?

“SMG4!” Meggy exclaimed, coming to hug him too. “You’re awake!”

4 attempted to use his right arm to pat her back, but it hurt far too much for him to move it, so he used his left to do it instead.

“What happened?” 4’s question made almost everyone in the room uncomfortable, as a few of his friends avoided looking at him.

Meggy sighed, willing herself to say… Something bad from what 4 could gather from her face.

“SMG4… Do you… Not remember?” She asked softly.

“No, please tell me..” 4 said. “I can handle it, whatever it is..”

“SMG4.” Meggy began, brows furrowing. “SMG3 shot you…”

4 paled, the ringing in his ears returned as his heart began pounding.

Like a train, feelings of grief, betrayal, and heartbreak came hurtling into him.

Now he could remember.

SMG3’s eyes were cold and empty, the way his face looked was like something straight out of a horror movie.

SMG4 tried to brush it off by mentioning his newest meme, but 3 didn’t care, merely raising his gun with the intention of killing 4.

And he shot him.

Watching him bleed out as he lost consciousness…

SMG4 was hyperventilating as he clutched himself, suffering through a panic attack as the previous day’s events became clear.

The very person he had come to trust, come to love, stabbed him in the back. And why? Because he got bored of being good? Because being evil was much easier for him?

“SMG4, it’s going to be okay…” Meggy tried to vocally help him through his attack, but all of the emotions he felt were relentless.

SMG4’s brain couldn’t register anything as a monsoon of thoughts and questions rendered all of his senses useless.

His fingers were practically digging into his skin as his chest heaved, eyes staring into nothing.

All 4 could see in his mind was SMG3’s terrifying expression as he watched him lay there helpless, his own blood pooling around him.

But suddenly… He was encased in warmth, a safe feeling he had felt many times.

Mario held SMG4 close, letting him clutch at his shirt as to not damage himself anymore, like the other times he helped him through past panic attacks.

The meme guardian rode the aftermath of his attack, coming back to reality with heavy yet softer breaths.

“There we are…” Mario muttered. “I got you.”

4 had pushed his body too hard, his ribs hurt slightly from his rapid sharp breaths, and this didn’t help with his still tender injury.

Mario saw something in 4’s eyes fade.. He didn’t know if it was exhaustion, or… Hope leaving him.

As 4 returned to sleep, Mario still held his hand, his heart breaking as he watched someone who was so full of life feel so defeated…

“Gli farò pagare la pena per averti ferito, Quattro, te lo prometto. Non avrò pace finché non lo troveranno..”

Mario had tried to whisper only loud enough for 4 to hear, but his quiet promise was understood by his green brother.

Luigi looked on in concern, as he watched his twin brother begin a tread down a darker path... Grief considered, he wanted 3 to pay for this too, but this just wasn't right... This wasn't Mario.

"Come on guys." Meggy whispered. "Let's let SMG4 rest."

Their friend group had quietly, one by one, left the room, but Luigi stayed put. He joined his brother's side, placing a kind and comforting hand onto Mario's own.

Hurt, angry, tired eyes glanced down, and then up to Luigi's face.

Luigi looked back with a soft and concerned look in his, as Mario silently brought his hand down to his side, away from Luigi's hand.

It would be a fight to get Mario back, but Luigi was willing to do whatever it took to save his brother from his own rage.

"Sono qui anche per te, Mario. Non dimenticarlo mai..."

#smg4 #smg4 fanart #smg3 #smg4 fanfic #hospital tw #panic attack tw #gun tw #blood tw

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cry4mina · 3 months

Text

Are You Really Okay? - Take Me Back To Eden - Part 6.5

(Mina x gn!reader)

Take Me Back To Eden Series Page

Word Count: 7k

Angst/Fluff/I don’t know what to call this

Summary: This takes place at the end of place after reader passes out in Part 6! Please read that for context! This is also in FIRST PERSON (gasp!) from Mina’s perspective! See what Mina sees at the end of *THE* scene and some of the consequences of Nayeon’s actions.

TW: Guns, violence, abuse, sex/mentions of sex, medical stuff and lemme know if I miss anything! (I so did)

A/N: We are experimenting a little bit on this one with first person pov! Thank you to @2wiceasnice9 for making these gifs for this! I appreciate it very much 🖤

Thank you guys for reading as always! Ask/Dms always open! 🖤 Love yall, have a great day!

—

“Nayeon, you can’t do this!” Oh my god, she’s really going to shoot me. Y/n is on the floor bleeding out right in front of both of us and she’s going to fucking shoot me?!

Panic ices my veins as Nayeon opens her mouth to reply. Tears are filling my eyes and I can’t seem to blink them away fast enough. I hear Nayeon hit the floor, shouting out and the gun skidding out of sight.

Nayeon’s rage is heard but no longer seen, the sounds of struggling bouncing off the walls from behind the desk. Hearing Y/n’s grunts of pain make me nauseous and panicky. A hefty sinking feeling that weighs me down, physically trying to slow me while I come up with a plan to stop everything around me.

If I want to put a stop to this, I need that gun.

Now.

Seeing a glint from the metal on the edge of the room against a baseboard, I race over to pick it up.

In my race to turn around I see Y/n getting the shit beat out of them on the ground. Nayeon gets up, scanning the floor to try and find the gun that was already in my hands.

I don’t want to do this! God, I really don’t want to fucking do this! Deep breath in, exhale slowly, finger around the trigger and…

The shot louder than any sound I’ve ever heard, reverberating the ache in my heart harder as the scene before me unfolds in slow motion and deafening silence. Nayeon mouth opens and face turns red, reflecting anguish when her knees hit the floor. She coddles her abdomen, mask contorting from hatred, to pain in the blink of an eye.

I drop the gun and immediately run over to Y/n. She’s bleeding all over the floor, I cup the back of her head to try and halt the loss of her life force but I’m so worried it’s already been too much spilled, the puddle of blood growing larger with passing seconds.

Y/n is so disoriented, I can barely catch her attention. Pulling her head into my lap, trying to talk to her to keep her here but she keeps looking at me with fluttering eyes. I can’t even hear my own voice, crying out for her without even an echo in my head.

I can’t hold myself together anymore, my tears start to fall endlessly down my cheeks. I can’t lose her. Even in such a short time, I’ve grown to truly care for this human that lays in my lap, bruised and bloodied.

The look of hope beaming through her eyes in an attempt to focus on me. My heart cracks just a little more. Someone had to have heard the gunshots. Someone had to call for help, right?

“Y/n! Y/n! Look at me, it’s going to be okay! We are going to get you ou-”

A heavy jolt of pressure slams into my chest.

Air ripped from my lungs at a pace that’s indescribable.

Unable to even hear my heart beating in this deafening silence, my eyes water and my breathing tries to regulate but hyperventilating was the only response my body had.

I look up and see Nayeon with her hand over her wound, slouched in the corner of the room with the gun pointed right at me.

At…me?

Y/N’s body starts to vibrate in my arms, I look down for a split second to see them screaming in agony. The thick crimson liquid drips down my torso rapidly when it registers what’s happened. That’s where the burn starts. A stinging, fiery, gut wrenching blaze of panic that drench the tension in something that can only be explained as pure terror. Nausea and sweat are immediate following the outpour of blood.

My breathing picks up rapidly, my body finally catching up with my brain and trying to save itself. I keep my hand on the back of Y/n’s head, and bring my other up to cover my own wound. Watching as Nayeon keeps her eyes on the scene unfolding, a grimace on her face when Y/n passes out in my arms.

“Mina, you should be happy!” mockingly loud, spat at me through the ringing of my ears.

“At least she won’t have to watch you suffer!” Nayeon brings the gun back up, pointing it right in my line of sight before her head swings to her right and she locks eyes with something behind me.

Nayeon’s eyes widened at the door that’s violently flying open. My hearing fades slowly back in. Turning my head towards whatever Nayeon was looking at, Jihyo storms in and is yelling and aggressively flailing her arms.

Jihyo?

What is she doing here?!

Confusion sets in, the blood spills from my chest, and it’s getting harder to breathe.

Jihyo continues to point when she looks over and sees the state of Y/N and I. Her eyes widened with pure terror and rage, storming over to Nayeon and attempting to grab the gun from her. Nayeon points the gun at Jihyo and kicks her legs out weakly, trying to keep Jihyo away from her.

“I don’t want to shoot you, Hyo! Baby, please!” Faintly heard through the ringing of my eardrums trying to reset.

“LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE, NAYEON! The police are already on their way, I told them everything about your plan!” Jihyo snatches the gun from her. She’s absolutely bawling her eyes out in disgust at how far Nayeon was willing to go.

My vision starts to blur leaving light trails behind every thing that moves. Nayeon stands and lunges at Jihyo, throwing punches and kicking her, trying to reach for the gun again.

“Why would you FUCKING tell them?! I thought you were loyal! I thought you loved me!” Nayeon screeches in a fit of rage, mustering every ounce of energy she can to wrestle Jihyo to the ground.

My body starts swaying back and forth. I'm losing the will to stay awake. I look down at Y/n, passed out in my arms. Her breathing is shallow.

I have to keep my eyes open for her.

I start coughing harshly, tasting the blood that is spewing out of my mouth, coating my tongue in an iron laced flavor. The taste of defeat is present in the moment, if I’m coughing blood…that mean that the bullet is probably in my lung…I’m going to drown if I don’t pass out from the blood loss first.

I’m trying my best to keep pressure on my chest and on the back of Y/n’s head but my strength is wavering far too much to be successful in both.

A warm hand on my back that has a sense of urgency startles me. Attempting to focus, I look up to see Momo bawling her eyes out next to me. Her hand flies over mine to put more pressure on my bullet wound.

Momo is trying to understand everything happening around us, eyes frantically trying to absorb everything one by one. The bullet hole in my chest, Jihyo and Nayeon fighting it out on the floor, Y/n’s bloodied state, and then right back to her hands, that are now covered in my blood.

“How did you know we were here?” I choke out between shallow, hoarse breaths.

“Jihyo called me on her way here. I was on the phone with her when I heard the first shot.”

My head feels too heavy to hold up. I slouch a little, swaying and trying to keep my eyes open and the pressure tight when a loud smack startles me and Momo both.

Both of us looked up immediately to see Jihyo shaking her hand in pain, knuckles bloodied, and Nayeon trying to stand back up but struggling to stand on her own two feet.

Nayeon tackles Jihyo to the floor again, large hands around her neck, tensely squeezing our leader's throat. Jihyo is trying everything in her power to pry Nayeon’s fingers off her throat, gasping and tugging at her digits, trying to hit Nayeon but nothing would remove her.

“I’m sorry, baby, but I couldn’t end up with you. You just aren’t Y/n.” Nayeon hisses above Jihyo before lifting her head by her neck and slamming it into the ground.

Momo stands up to try and come to Jihyo’s defense, ready to defend her and help her get Nayeon subdued until the police arrived.

A bang shatters every reality between what should have happened and what did happen.

Colors wash out of my sight when I see how Momo freezes in front of me, unmoving in a statuesque fashion, breath being held in a death grip.

I call out to her, barely hearing my own voice when her body shudders, turning away and bringing her attention back to me and y/n. I can see and hear her sobs in whispers and grey wash.

Looking over to where the struggle happened, Jihyo is still laying flat on her back sobbing with Nayeon on top of her, too still for comfort.

“Momo…what happened?” I squeak out.

Her eyes are lifeless. Someone who has just witnessed something horrific squatted before me, hands shaking, struggling to apply pressure to my chest and unable to look me in the eyes.

“Why did you do this?…why?” Jihyo cries out through sniffles and rage filled tears.

The clunking sound of someone rolling into the floor catches me off guard, watching Jihyo stand. She’s drenched in blood and making her way over to me.

“Momo…” I croaked with the last bit of my energy, when my vision started to fade to black.

“Stop…Y/n’s blee-…”

The last thing I felt was my back hitting the floor and coldness.

—

Everything is hazy and unfamiliar for a moment, lucidity is not something my brain feels like it’s familiar with. I can’t tell if my eyes are closed but I feel cold. Prickling in my skin does nothing but annoy as a rush of chemicals tells my body it’s okay to be okay.

It’s going to be okay, right?

The burning sensation I can’t quite pinpoint eases rapidly after the sharp stick in the divot of my arm. The voices I hear are unfamiliar, except one. The tone brings comfort, but I couldn’t tell you who it was or what they are to me. All I know is this clouded darkness behind my eyes.

I fall into what feels like sleep. Calm, quiet, almost nurturing in the way of comfort. It envelops me completely. What a joy to feel something other than fear and pain.

Just calm.

I hope she’s okay.

A loud slam of something metal around me brings me into a state of conscience that I have never felt, shifting me into something recognizable and familiar. The darkness in my eye lids slowly fades into warm lighting, laughter and playfulness is heard through out the room I find myself in.

I’m at Jihyo’s house?

How did I get here?

“Oh my GOD! Baby, what are you doing here?!” Nayeon screams and runs out the front door.

Baby?…What is happening?

Y/n and Nayeon walk in, hand in hand. Smiling at each other and everyone is running over to meet the girl that Nayeon has been gushing about. I feel a pang of jealousy in my stomach. Y/n would never do this to me, after what Nayeon did.

Trying to stand to confront them both, I can’t force my body to move.

Wait…

This is the party where we met for the first time.

One of my favorite memories.

She’s sitting there quietly and I just can’t help but watch her take everything in. Her energy is so warm. So peaceful.

I mirror her, silently taking her in, watching her body language, watching how she is with the other members. Politely listening to others speak about their individual interests. I see her eyes shift to me.

“Mina, I know we actually have some hobbies in common! You like legos and video games too, right? Minecraft is what Nayeon told me.” quizzically from across the way.

I can’t believe this is who Nayeon was with. This is not what I pictured at all. Usually she dates obsessive fangirls that she can use and throw away when she’s done, but this person she has just introduced us all to…was nothing like that. She was kind, considerate, very good looking, and someone who brought life into a conversation.

The first of a few conversations, usually that she started. I was always too nervous to speak to her without her prompting it, though I desperately wanted to. I was and am so fascinated and intrigued by the fluttering in my stomach with every word spoken in that angelic voice.

Faces start distorting when I come to the conclusion that this must be a dream.

I must be dreaming.

The walls drop and everything snaps to darkness. My legs whisking me forward trying to find some sense of direction when I blink, I’m in a hallway? Where am I? And then I see her.

Walking down the same hallway laced in gray paint, the embodiment of sunshine, the light in this monotone building. Y/n walks right past me and offers up a small smile. A soft “Hey Mina. It’s so good to see you.” And a somber wave in my direction, the gentle tears streaming down her cheeks, I remember this…

The corridor zips out from underneath me, shrinking in the distant void to a mere sparkle. I’m alone in the darkness again. Why did I just hop from a memory to another memory…?

The sound of yelling brings be to another familiar place. Half warm, half ice. The energy here was a weird sense of home, comfortably uncomfortable.

I’m at Y/n and Nayeon’s apartment…the girls are in the living room but Nayeon and Y/n are nowhere to be seen. The music is just loud enough to muffle the shouting in the other room but I’m close enough to the door to hear it.

“Fine! Do whatever you want, Nayeon!”

“What do you mean? You’re supposed to come with us!”

“I don��t want to be around you, so you go! Do whatever you want, you’re going to anyway!”

The door opens, Nayeon steps out and I see Y/n hunched over in a chair with her head in her hands, body shivering, obviously holding back sobs. Nayeon closes the door quickly to avoid the detection of the fight.

Making eye contact with me as she spins around, I smile at her and pretend I didn’t see. Y/n needs her right now, and she’s just going to leave with us? What kind of a partner are you?

The sound of her cracking open a beer can throws me forward, through a sliding glass door.

I’m on a balcony? I can hear the girls inside laughing and having a good time. A sniffle rings out against the laughter in a contrast that makes my stomach sink.

Looking to my left, I see Y/n sitting with her back against the wall, curled into herself, elbows resting on her knees and hands covering her obviously crying face.

My heart breaks in that moment, in a way it didn’t the first time. In a way I didn’t know was possible. Just as I did in the memory, I sit next to her in silence. The memory wouldn’t allow me to change it’s already pathed out course, this moment I would never change.

She looks up at me when our shoulders touch, eyes red and swollen.

“Oh! Mina…Hey!. Sorry, I’m okay. Just…uh…having a bad day.” through the tears that descend down her soft cheeks.

“Are you really okay?” I wish I could say more. I know she’s not okay. I’ve known for a while but it’s not my place to tell this person I barely knew to leave her partner. It seems like Nayeon has manipulated Y/n into thinking that what was happening between them was healthy.

Super sweet love bombing.

Calm conversations with carefully chosen words to belittle, betray, and knock down.

Nayeon’s perfectly crafted nightmare of subtle abuse was so laced in other tastes that it was almost impossible to spot from any perspective, you had to be paying attention very very closely to see it. It makes sense why she lost her mind when she did. The plan falls apart when the object of your manipulation realizes they have free will, or you get too sloppy and they flat out leave.

She stops moving, frozen in the question. The pain behind her eyes sears my heart in ways unexplainable. How I wish I could take that pain away from her.

Y/n leans her head on my shoulder, tears stop falling momentarily. Her body relaxes in a way I was unfamiliar with before…was she always this comfortable around me?

A knock on the slider blends with the sound of something being thrown across the room that materialized right in front of me.

Suddenly, I’m in Japan for our group interview, walking in on Jihyo and Nayeon having a very heated conversation.

“What am I supposed to do? If the public finds out…the company will have a fit!” Nayeon is in tears, fists bawled and red in the face. Jihyo is holding her, rubbing her back in a soothing manner. Her hand glides up Nayeon’s spine in a very…intimate…way.

“Don’t worry, honey.” swiping a tear gently off Nayeon’s cheek, the loving look in her eyes was something I’d never seen them share. I had never seen Jihyo react this way to anyone’s tears like that, not even Sana.

“We can figure it out, okay? We can make a plan for when Y/n and you talk and keep our story strai- Hey, Mina!” Jihyo jumps back from Nayeon, seemingly nervous about what I’ve seen.

“…is everything okay?”

“Yes, Nayeon and Y/n got into a fight…they’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” Jihyo assured me, though at the time, I didn’t know what I was hearing in that conversation. Nayeon’s glare at me was enough to speak volumes.

She must’ve always known my fascination with Y/n.

“Alright girls, I’ve got a plane to catch back home…are you going to be okay, hon- I mean unnie?”

A freudian slip.

“Honey.” said out loud, just like when I heard it for the first time and again, without my own free will.

Nayeon scowls at me, Jihyo is shocked I said anything and I’m not so confused about what was happening here anymore. At the time I had not realized how close they were, or what was transpiring between them. I can still hardly believe it, even with proof.

The sound of footsteps towards me sends me to memory, turning into my own steps while I pace on the phone with Momo, talking about how Nayeon and Y/n have broken up and what Nayeon did to her.

The upset that all the information she is telling me over the speaker floods me with upset. A rage unseen by most, even hearing it a second time causes me to seethe. An innocent person, broken by the hands of someone unworthy.

Little did I know how broken she would actually get. I thought maybe I could help put the pieces back together, I never imagined it would turn into what it did…

“Hey, Momo, will you send me Y/n’s number? I’d like to check on her.” I still feel the nervousness behind the question along with the cheerfulness of seeing her again.

Even if this broken record moment in my brain is just a figment, it’s making me feel the same way, almost layered in a sense. The before feeling, and the after feeling.

If you really think about it, memories are just mental photobooks. Bottles of feelings and images contained for when you hear a sound, smell something familiar, or are around a specific person that makes your heart scream in agony at the sheer amount of love that seeps into every orifice you have when in their presence.

I am simply living in them.

“Sure, I’m sure she would love to hear from you, Mina.” replied when the phone in my hand vibrates. The text Momo sent has a contact labeled “Y/nnie” I can’t help but chuckle at the cute nickname again. I watch myself, from my own eyes, save it and not change the name.

I hesitate to call, the worry of if she would agree to hang out with me sits on my stomach again. I can do this, I know I can…Okay okay, here we go.

Reliving the excited feeling of calling her for the first time was less excruciating this time, the phone ringing until I heard her yell through the speaker.

“Can you stop calling me? I obviously don’t want to talk to you.” the tone heavy with annoyance, I remember thinking this was a bad time to call.

“..Y/n?” the hesitation when she realizes that I wasn’t the person she assumed I was adorable. Small notes of confusion in her silence was something I wish I could have witnessed sooner.

“Oh…uhm, sorry…I thought this was Jihyo. I don’t have this number saved in my phone…”

“That’s alright” I giggled, feeling a little awkward just as I remember.

“It’s Mina.”

“Mina?”the shock in her voice was noticeable, voice pitched up, and I could visualize her brows furrowing.

“Momo told me what happened and I asked for your number… I hope that’s okay.” the sounds of the call change drastically, going from crystal clear to a little hazy and to the sound of squeaky brakes.

“Yes, that’s totally fine…uhm, sorry, I’m…a little all over the place right now.”

“I know we don’t really know each other too well but…uhm, I know we have some common interests and that you could probably use a friend right now…so I figured I would call and see if you wanted to get a coffee or something…or maybe just sit on the couch and play videogames or… something.” I really should’ve thought about what I was going to say before I called her.

“That sounds…really nice. I’d love to. Would you…want to text me your schedule for the next week or two and we can plan it from there?” My heart flutters again when I hear the sound of her smile beaming through the phone.

“Sounds good, I’ll text you.” hanging up before I got too giggly on the phone. I wasn’t trying to be weird about it to her…I just wanted to get to know her and be around her warmth again.

The sound of my phone locking sends me to her front door, 2 coffees in hand. A deep breath before the door opens. I was so nervous to see her and a little worried about the anxiety that she had been feeling.

The crack of the door ushers me inside and I offer her the coffee she didn’t ask for. We curl up on separate couches and play video games together and just talk.

We have intellectual conversations about almost every topic we stumble upon, I see her back unclenching as the day goes on and I know that we both need to eat.

Heading to the Japanese cafe that was so close by we could walk, our hands brush against each other. To feel that all over again ethereal. Bursts of adrenaline, the flashes of cold, the fluttering of the butterflies, the way it ignited something in me. I was meant to hold that hand.

“These shops seem cool, maybe we should come back another day and explore them.” My ears are burning at the question and the overwhelming tension I feel inside myself about her. I do hope we can go back to those shops someday.

We ordered sake and I asked her if I could order food for her. Paying attention to what she said when we spoke earlier when I was describing the food my mother makes, it seemed like it would be a fun idea.

I ordered the food in Japanese so the meal would be a surprise when it arrived at the table. The way she looked at me when I did was absolutely adorable, seemingly nervous now- scratching the sides of her fingers.

Reaching my hand out, I lay it on hers. Her shoulders relax and her jaw unclenches, our eyes are locked and I’m swooning. Even in a nervous state, this celestial being in front of me was devastating to my heart.

The way the emotions flickered in her eyes and on her face were telling of the last person who held this hand and the damage she left behind.

I touched her without permission, my hand retracted rapidly as I apologized. The food arrives in the middle of her trying to tell me why she reacted the way she did, cutting off the conversation all together.

She notices the similarities in our plates, asking me if we got the same thing. I tell her I remembered the little details from what she used to eat when she came to the studio, so I took off what she didn’t like and had them rearrange things.

She tells me the entire story of what happened with Nayeon over the food that night. I still can’t fathom the type of human that could hurt someone so tender.

The clinking of the plates after we finish our meal puts me in the cafe, paying for the bill. I thanked the lady at the podium and turn to walk out the front door when I see them.

Nayeon is outside with Jihyo, trying to throw herself at Y/n, what the hell is she doing here? I get so angry thinking about the pain that she’s gone through and with a little liquid courage from the sake, I take my stance next to Y/n and grab her hand.

“Are you ready to go, my love?” I make sure to raise my voice a little so that Nayeon and Jihyo can hear what I’ve said. I refuse to let her try to bully Y/n into submission. There will be no opportunities for that, at least not with me around.

“You can’t be serious right now, Y/n! After last night, are you on a date with Mina? A member of my group? Do you not have your own friends to filter through? Did I not satiate you enough? …Maybe we should’ve gone one more round.”

Nayeon is absolutely floored, so mad that she’s here with me. Seeing it all play back in my mind's eye, I should’ve noticed the signs. I should’ve seen what was going to happen. Maybe I could’ve protected her.

Wait…did she say a date?

I mean…I guess this is a date…I never thought about it like that. I wonder how Y/n felt when Nayeon said that…I know now how she feels about us, but I can’t help but wonder what was going through her head while we were here.

Jihyo is silently crying and getting back into the car but I don’t think anyone else notices. While I view her as a huge part of the problem, I can’t help but feel bad for her. Look at her standing there so uncomfortable she can barely even function.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her from now since you can’t satiate her, apparently.” I wink at Nayeon and lead Y/n away from this mess.

A sneeze places me on Y/n’s couch with her wrapped around me, cuddling into me with her hand on my torso. My heart is full like this. I hope to experience more of moments like these with her.

My body jolts from her pushing down on me, gasping for air in a way that’s rushed and eager. She’s immediately up crying and pacing back and forth in the living room. A panic attack happening before my eyes, I spring into action and comfort her the best I can.

Y/n parts from me, stripping her hoodie off so she’s just in a sports bra. I’m attempting to be respectful about not staring at her half naked but having the hardest time with it. I just want to give her everything she deserves.

I catch her by her wrist as she paces, pulling her into my arms and telling her she’s safe. Y/n pulls back, looking me in the eyes from mere inches away. I can feel her breath against me, I just want to lean in and press my lips on hers when she scoots in a little closer to me.

I take this as permission, meeting her in the middle and the lightning that shoots through me is so powerful that all my nerves burn with the essence that is Y/n. Trying to keep things calm but she starts to lean in harder so I take control.

I push her onto the couch and once my hands hit the couch, the glass shatters and we are surrounded by police and clothed again. The police are questioning my poor Y/n. I wish she could catch a break.

The click of the officers pen and I’m taping up the window for her, turning around to see her completely lost in thoughts with glass in her foot.

The snap of the first aid kit brings us back to her bed, where she’s telling me she feels safe and my heart is racing to tell her all the feelings that have built up.

Next thing I know, I’m between her legs tasting the slick off her folds. She’s moaning underneath me and the sound is godly. I just want to devour her but this isn’t the moment. That will come soon enough. Right now, this is about her.

What she wants.

What she needs.

Cumming into my mouth, the sounds are that of angels singing to me and only me in that moment. I wrap my fingers around her throat and squeeze a little just to hear her moan for me again.

Leaning down to kiss her again, when our lips part I’m on the phone with the police.

“Hello, we’ve called to update you on the case that you filed last night. We’ve arrested Park Jihyo. She admitted guilt when confronted about the vandalizing of house.”

“What?” I still can’t believe she would have taken the fall for Nayeon like that.

When I hit end on the phone call, I spin around to Y/n telling me to lay in her lap and I happily do so. There’s so much comfort in her touch, I can’t explain the calm. It’s calmer than the void at the beginning of this weird live action trip down memory lane. I sink into a deep sleep while she plays with my hair.

When my eyes open, I’m on the phone with Momo. At this point, I’m just letting this memory train whisk me away. I’m not going to question why this is happening.

She’s wondering where I am, I remember the banquet and then I’m throwing my shoes on by the front door when Y/n asks me on a date…an official date. I’m consumed with joy. Finally, Ill get to show her what love actually looks like.

When the door shuts behind me, I’m suddenly at Momo’s house getting ready with her and Dahyun.

“Soooo…you and y/n, hm?” Momo pokes at me to get more information.

“Well…I think so. These past 2 days have been…kind of magic? Even with all the crazy stuff that’s been happening with Nayeon.” I want to shout how excited I am from the rooftops but my body won’t allow me to.

“I really hope yo- wait, what did you say?” The confusion on Momo’s face is laced in concern as she stares at me, waiting for me to fill in the blanks.

I tell her everything. The confrontation at the restaurant, the way Nayeon called Y/n that morning, the rock through the window, and lastly Jihyo taking the fall.

Momo and Dahyun both are stunned by this new information, jaws on the floor. I just nod my head at them, trying to not think about the negatives of this because I have a date with Y/n and the closeness we have has made me so smitten.

“Wait…you were with Y/n this morning? I thought you had plans yesterday…?” Dahyun is confused about the story she has just overheard.

“Uhm…yes. She didn’t want to be alone last night so I stayed with her.” I admit quietly, hoping for no further questions. Not that I don’t want to talk about it, but it feels so fresh.

“…did you sleep on the couch? Or?” Dahyun is smiling so big at me that I can’t help but laugh.

Momo doesn’t even try to stop her from asking questions because she’s curious as well, it’s not like Y/n gave her any information while she was on the phone with her.

“I did not sleep on the couch.”

They both gasp at this. They aren’t stupid. They know what happened.

“Wait did you guys have se-”

“I’m going to go call Y/n and see if she’s on her way.” I step out of the room and dial the phone, stepping outside to get some privacy.

When the door clicks behind me, I’m blasted into the memory of her crying in my arms because Nayeon showed up to her apartment and bombarded her, yet again.

I tell her to stay with me tonight after she expresses she doesn’t want to see Nayeon again. Y/n announces she doesn’t want to impose and I just kiss her to shut her up.

I pull on her blazer to keep her close and feel her hands travel up to my neck. I’m going to take her here.

Right here.

I untuck her shirt, run my fingers along the edge of her waistline when the door flings open.

“Hey, Mina did you talk wi- OH?!” Of course, it’s Momo interrupting the moment. How embarrassing.

“Sorry to interrupt! Should I go back inside or?” Dahyun sneaks out behind Momo through the door and shuts it.

The sound of the lock latching sends me to the table we are all sat at, eating dinner and making light conversation. I’m focused on Y/n, who is toying around with her food and not really present in the moment.

Leaning over to her, I make sure to look Y/n in her eyes when I ask her if she’s okay the first time. A small nod of the head, I lean back into my chair, and continue eating my dinner. I know she’s lying, it’s written in the way her eyes are tracing every detail of the table and avoiding mine.

Maybe she just doesn’t know how apparent it is. I take another few bites, leaning in one more time.

“Are you su-”

“I get that we aren’t together but can you stop doing whatever this-” moving her hands around in a dramatic fashion. “- is, in front of me? Kind of rude, don't you think?”

You are kidding me. I can’t believe she just said that in front of everyone. We are not supposed to be the focus tonight.

“Nayeon, not now.” Momo chiming in like she already knew what any sane person would be thinking watching this all play out. More annoyed than I will allow myself to display, especially after knowing what was going to happen after this.

Especially now, knowing exactly what Nayeon was capable of.

“You think she can do for you what I did? You think she can be who you need her to be for you?! WE are supposed to be here together, not you and Mina! Mina, of all people!” body language threatening and almost violent in nature.

Me? Of all people? What the *fuck* does that mean?!

Everyone around us is completely in shock, with the exception of those who knew what Nayeon was, who Nayeon could be. I see some avoidance from a few of the members, not wanting to encourage her or draw attention to the situation.

Reliving this makes me just as enraged as it did the first time.

“I bet she doesn’t fuck like I do or do you need another reminder of how I fuck you?”

Oh, good god. I still can’t believe she said that out loud for everyone at this table and around us to hear. This is not the fucking place for this.

“I can’t believe you wouldn’t want to work on thi-”

“ENOUGH!”

Boom.

I take another bite of my meal, before setting my utensils down. Looking over at my stunning date, making sure to make eye contact. The fury behind my eyes is enough to prompt her to do what I so desperately wanted to.

“Nayeon, why don’t you tell everyone where Jihyo is?” the malice inflected in the statement sends chills down my spine. This assertive dominant part of her that I was meeting in full form for the first time…I was happy she was spending the night at mine.

I feel the way the warmth fills me, starting between my legs and creeping up as she puts this vicious bitch in her place.

“Y/n…I- I don’t know what you mean. H- How should I know?” That’s right. Panic.

“Oh, sure you do!...Weren’t you with her last night?” Everyone is staring at her now, confused and concerned.

“Wait-” Tzuyu starts and then everything is silent. I look around, waiting for the room to change to the memory I know is next.

Everyone around me is frozen in place, unwavering in complete and total stillness. I stand and fix my dress, this is the first time that I have control over my body since this montage of memories started.

Walking towards the room.

The room.

The room where everything happens.

The room where Y/n gets hurt.

The room where I get shot.

The room where Jihyo ends Nayeon’s life…

I step in with no hesitation, before I realize that the entirety of the room is pitch black and there is no floor.

I fall.

Dropping through a tunnel of nothingness, just trying to catch anything that will keep me from descending into this pit of darkness. The void calls and I’ve returned against my will again.

A halt jerks me out of the dissociated state that I found myself in. How long did I fall for? How long have I been in this state?

A small pinhole of light shines through the ether, steadily growing and getting brighter.

Is it getting closer?

“Mina?” An echoed whisper reverberates every bone in my body. Shaking me violently, the void cracks, shining the beams of another realm through the shattering façade around me

“Mina…darling, you have to wake up.”

Y/n?

Dull beeps pipe through the whispers and into my brain. My throat feels hot, why doesn’t my throat feel hot?

“Mina, please…”

The light is blinding now as a vision of my parents shine through, my eyes flutter open and try to focus on their faces when the smell of hospital breaks all my senses.

The tube down my throat keeps me from speaking, my parents are crying in happiness that I’m awake but the tears I cry are of fear.

My eyes search helplessly, unable to communicate what I’m looking for.

Who I am looking for.

My father notices my panic, trying to calm me when the pain starts. The same burn in my chest from earlier. I try to look down at my chest at my wound when the nurse comes in and greets me.

“Mina! Welcome back! Your family missed you!” cheered through a beaming smile.

I start weakly mimicking writing with my hand, looking around the room for someone to understand what I’m asking for.

My father grabs the whiteboard at the end of the bed with my medical information on it, wiping it clean and holding it next to me. He uncaps the marker with his teeth and spits it out onto the floor, wrapping my hand around it so that I can write.

“Mina, we are going to pull the tube from you now to make sure that lung is functioning the way that it’s supposed to, okay?” the nurse chimes in as I’m writing.

The doctor comes in, trying to usher my father to the side so he can do what he needs to. I grip my dad’s forearm to signal him to stay in place.

“Please, she’s been asleep for so long, can you just give us a moment?”

I write the last few letters quickly before the doctors get to work, I watch my parents brows furrow at what I’ve written. My father takes the whiteboard out of the room, my mother staying with me for the remainder of the removal of the tube.

Gasping for air, my body is trying to recalibrate to the new surroundings. To reality.

“Where…” my voice is gravely and horse, barely coming out in a whisper.

“Is…” I swallow, trying to build up my strength to say the last word I needed to.

“Y/n?”

Thanks for reading! 🖤🖤🖤🖤

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eveenstar · 8 months

Note

heii!! ^^, can you make another hoodie x reader one-shot? i've come to love ALL of your scenarios ,, left me wanting more :D

if you don't want to do this... well! thats fine, i'd understand! ^^

maybe... hoodie's hurt? and reader cares for him?

hurt, as in, wounded! like, knife stab or something!

thank you,

take care

One injured Hoodie coming through! This was interesting to write. Hope you enjoy! Sorry it's short. Take care! ♡

your blood in my hands (and I wouldn't have it any other way) | Brian Thomas/Hoodie

tw: reader's gender isn't specified. Obvious blood mentions, nothing too gory.

Beneath your hands, Brian lays as still as a rock. He doesn't flinch from your touch, not after the last three reprimands you muttered under your breath. It was odd enough that he let you tend to his wound, even more that he actually listened to you! Then again, there was a bullet wound on his body. Thankfully, it hadn't punctured any organs. Still, you were surprised someone had managed to survive long enough to shoot him.

Ah, well, Brian wasn't a young man anymore. He was closer to his mid forties than his mid twenties.

And with the number of Americans now possessing guns as if it were candy? Tsk. That was bad for business. Brian's business, that is.

"That's enough." Brian uttered, pulling himself up to his feet - and almost sliding back down onto the blood-stained chair with a frustrated hiss. "Fuck.."

"You lost too much blood." You sat back, rummaging through the old medpack. Living with a stalker-killer "employed" by an eldritch being, far away from any civilization, had forced you to take on skills such as cleaning wounds (of any kind), sewing and cooking with the bare least you had.

You sighed. "I thought... Why did you take on such a mission alone? Why not take a lesser one with you?"

"It is what He asked of me."

The words fell off painted in tones of melancholy and numbness. There was no trace of emotion behind them, like a corpse. If it wasn't for his beating heart or the living blood that stained your hands, you would've thought Brian was as much of a dead man as those that fell to his hands.

Resigned, you closed the medpack. "Then you should tell him that you are not allowed to go on any missions that aren't scavenging for information."

For the first time that morning, a hint of emotion reflected on his eyes. Raising an eyebrow, a wheeze of laughter escaped his lips. "Allowed?"

"Yes," You mimicked his expression. "You care for me, I care for you. That was our deal."

"Our deal," Brian leaned forward, supporting his elbows on his knees. He bared his teeth at you in a low hiss, "did not include you bossing me around."

Still mimicking him, you too leaned closer until the tips of your noses were grazing each other. "Consider our deal emended."

For the briefest of moments, you thought Brian would lash out, pull you away as he always did. When his eyes narrowed, you prepared yourself for the worst. Your gazes met, and you hoped to see the man behind the walls Brian built around himself. You had his blood in your hands, but you didn't have his heart. No, his heart already belonged to something far above you.

Far darker.

The flicker of his gaze to your lips did not go unnoticed. You were close enough to smell the iron-blood in his skin and feel his breath mixing with yours. You believed Brian would kiss you right then and there.

Instead, he stood to his feet with unprompted strength. With a low rumble, he said, "Your skill with the needle has improved."

You assumed that was his way of thanking you and acknowledging your efforts. One, for removing the bullet. Two, for cleaning the wound. Three, for stitching it. You huffed lightly; Brian should be thankful you didn't take advantage of his altered state, stumbling bloody upon the kitchen at early sunrise and take him out of his misery right then and there.

Then again, you doubted you could take a man of his size and strength even when injured. A deep but low voice whispered in the back of your mind that that was not the only reason; you were in this with Brian. There was no turning back. Surely, no one sane enough would happily remain in your position.

Maybe you two weren't so different after all.

#brian thomas x reader #hoodie x reader #marble hornets x reader #creepypasta x reader #hoodie creepypasta

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tange-my-rine · 7 months

Text

find yourself (and me) || Tangerine x trans male!reader

Summary: You knew Tangerine well, you'd fallen in love with the guy. But when a mission goes wrong and you fake your death, he can't know a word of it. And when you finally transition after years of wishing, you can hardly even imagine running into him again. If you thought you might, you'd run the opposite way. But fate had different plans.

Request by @random-thoughts-004.

TW: mention of deadname (it's like your codename but like still), fake death, grief, blood, wounds, murder, guns, knives, scars, cursing (it's Tangerine), and all things bullet train.

[[A/N: Thanks for my first request !!! I hope I did it justice! Enjoy this slowburn and kinda angst riddled oneshot. Reader's first codename is Butterfly. Second is Beetle. (You work with Ladybug's agency.) ]]

The first time you met Tangerine was one of your first jobs ever. You remember it so well because well, the twins made it memorable. They made everything memorable, you'd come to realize but not now.

It was a gala, and you were dressed well -fancy even, with hair perfectly in place and shiny fabric cascading.

The job was an easy one, getting your feet wet and whatnot; not that you hadn't wanted the harder ones, it was just like a test run for your agency -seeing if you could do it. Which, with your experience, was kind of ridiculous but you didn't want to get into it right now.

All you needed was information from a man, some sort of billionaire -you weren't honestly sure. The location of someone else, his brother... cousin? You knew his name and that was all that mattered.

You finished your drink, and with a walk that could kill, you made your way to the floor. He was talking to some men (tall with bleached tips, and another one broad shoulders with a mustache), but you simply pushed yourself through.

His eyes, naturally, rested on you, and you used it toward your advantage.

"Hi," you smiled over the rim of your glass, fluttering your eyelashes for good measure, "-do you mind if I interrupt? I've been dying to talk to you all day."

The man, Richard you remembered, smiled smoothly, "'Course, honey. We can always pick up this conversation later."

With a glance toward the men, you pushed your arm into his and began walking away.

You had felt the eyes boring into your back at the time, but you didn't think anything of it. You probably should have, but to be fair this was a test run, was it not?

The man guided you to a balcony, empty with the night sky and stars twinkling. You would've thought it was pretty, if you didn't have an objective.

"Name's Richard," he spoke, still close by your side, "-what's yours, sweetheart?"

Swallowing the bile in your mouth (he really wasn't your type), you smirked -playfully, trailing your fingers onto his upper arm, "I prefer to be a mystery to the men I meet, Richard."

He grinned, it was working well, "I'm not the first then?"

The rest of your conversation was much of the same, low chats about things that didn't really matter -hobbies, jobs, etc. And when you casually mentioned family, it was smooth sailing.

"Got a cousin visiting one of my houses down in Miami, but I haven't seen the rest in years."

You weaseled out the name, and with a cunning smile, went to refill your drink. He'd said he'd have someone do it for you, but you said something about 'clingy already?' and his masculinity came in check.

Your job was done. You were 30 minutes from getting home, out of these heels, and watching your favorite show with the emptiness of your apartment. These kinds of crowds were exhausting, you needed it.

That was until hands shot out of a closet and pulled you in so fast you couldn't even scream-

"What the hell?"

The light was on, thank god, as you took in the man. He was broad shoulders from before, dressed in a fancy suit -three piece, with curly gelled back hair and blue eyes. Oh, and the mustache. He was your type.

You shimmied out of his grip, pushing yourself to the farthest wall, "What are you doing?! You can't just pull women into closets-"

"Who fuckin' sent you?" He uttered out, harsh and brash -british accent, your mind noted.

"Sent me?" You played dumb, "-This is a gala, I was invited, prick."

"Don't fuckin' lie to me," he hissed, pulling out a gun and suddenly, this was all very real.

"Jesus Christ," you raised your hands, "-why the hell does it matter?"

"You're after my hit," he clarified, like it was fact -pushing the gun further into your face.

"Yeah, no," you laughed, "-my job here was information. I literally just talked to him, if you paid any attention to your surroundings-"

"Awfully snappy for someone with a fuckin' gun in your face," he retorted, but you could tell that his frustration had significantly lessened.

"Shoot me then," you egged on, "-lose your cover, and your target, and shoot me."

His mouth flattened, eyes hardening, as the realization slipped over his features; you loved being right.

Gotcha.

With the speed of a snail, he lowered his gun -jaw muscle flexing. You could tell he was pissed that you were right. This was fun, you would've stayed all night to get on his nerves, if this dress didn't make you feel like your skin was peeling off.

In very different circumstances, you would've been glad to be trapped in a closet with him. But, we can't always get what we want, can we?

Without another word, you slipped out of the closet and made your way to the door. And when you got home you scrubbed your skin clean until the flowery scent of your perfume went away (it made you sick), but that was nobody's business but your own.

The second time you met him was very different. Your job was a hit, a CEO of some fancy business -you didn't really care. You'd posed as some meeting for him -after hours, it was actually really simple to get this guy alone.

Anyway, you had just shot a bullet through his head when the door came crashing open -easily, you switched targets.

Instead of some innocent, however, it was the man -still wearing a three piece suit and the same mustache. He wore it well though, so you couldn't blame him.

"Not you again," you groaned.

"What the hell are you doin' 'ere?" He replied eyes scrunched and eyebrow raised.

"My job?" You answered, still pointing the gun at him without hesitation.

He raised his hands, begrudgingly, and looked you over, "You 'ere for a hit?"

You kicked the body at your feet, sarcastically, "Ya think?"

His eyes flicked down to the man, before back up to you, "Lucky for you, I'm just 'ere for a drive. You let me go, we call it even?"

You pursed your lips, tilting your head to the side -thinking on it, "Fine, but if I see you again it's fair game."

"Can't fuckin' wait, love," he remarked, and you honestly weren't sure if it was all sarcasm. Huh.

"Butterfly," you said as an introduction.

He furrowed his brows for a moment before a wave of understanding crossed over his face, "Tangerine."

Needless to say, you left that building laughing your ass off.

The next time after that you met Lemon, and then suddenly you were a trio. You switched agencies and were constantly partnered for missions, and even when you weren't, they'd follow you and keep an eye out for you. Even when you told them that you could handle it, they still showed up (Lemon always blamed Tangerine).

You don't know when Tangerine started shifting in your head -from friend to... something else. A scary something else. But you think it started here.

You were in a safe house, one you'd crashed in a lot actually. An apartment in the city with three bedrooms and a fancy kitchen, you could picture it as a home if you thought about it long enough. Couldn't see it without Tangerine and Lemon anymore though.

It was late, and you were watching some late-night reruns of a show you'd never seen -it was some sort of love triangle, and you somehow already had a favorite actually. You couldn't sleep, it was just something in your head -nightmares. You had close calls before and tonight was one of them; you wanted to be alive a little bit longer because of it.

"Hey," the voice interrupted your haze, drawing your attention to your right.

It was Tangerine, he was wearing normal clothes -baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt with his hair ungelled (you were still getting used to it). Blue eyes flickered across you, he could read you really well -you hated it.

He didn't ask if you were okay, didn't have to he knew, just sat by your side on the couch -you offered him some blanket. He took it, closer into your side than he was before -it made your head spin just a little. You figured because you hadn't been so close to someone in so long.

Before you could stop yourself, you started talking, "You ever think about what your life would be like if we didn't do what we do?"

It was sleepy coming out of your mouth, slightly slurred, but still genuine. You always got a little talkative around him, you weren't sure entirely why.

Tangerine deflected, blue eyes fuzzy over your face (you weren't looking at him), "Do you?"

"Yeah," you muttered, low and quiet, "-all the time."

"What would you do?" he asked, and he was genuine -you could always tell when he wanted to listen.

"I think..." you started, trying to decide your words, "- I think I'd want to be married. Is that stupid?"

"'s not stupid, love," he spoke, soft with his gruff sleep voice.

"It'd be nice, I think," you hummed, perhaps saying too much but you didn't care then, "-forever with one person. With this job, you're always alone. Jumping from place to place, partner to partner. I think it'd be nice to have somebody who was always there."

Tangerine didn't say a word.

"The real question is if I'm marriable," you laughed, "-do you think I have enough positive characteristics for someone to marry me, Tan?"

It was kind of a joke, and you expected him to respond that way. He didn't.

"Yeah," he whispered, dead serious, "-I do."

You were taken aback a little bit, something unfurling in your chest that you hadn't quite named yet but you knew it now, "You think so?"

He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer -your head settling on his shoulder without hesitation. You stayed that way for a few moments, breathing in his cologne and shampoo -he smelt so good, how?

"Someone would marry you," he finally responded -something there in his voice but you couldn't name it, "-'d be fuckin' stupid not to."

It was going great, really great. Until it wasn't.

You can't even remember the mission now, but it was one that the twins followed you in on. You convinced them to wait out in the car, you could handle this.

And while you were, your earcon went off -static voice in your ear. You had to strain to hear it, but once you did, you wished you hadn't. It was Maria, your previous handler -you had no idea how she got your connection, actually. It didn't matter then, the voice echoing through your head.

"Butterfly, listen to me, you have to get out of there."

"Maria?" you questioned, slamming a guy's head into a wall, "-'Would love to catch up but I'm a little busy right now-"

"Butterfly, listen. You are in danger."

"Aren't I always?" you laughed, sliding a blade across another guy's neck -he sunk to the floor.

"I got intel on a manhunt for you, the White Death is looking for you. You are not safe, listen to me."

You stalled in place, your heart dropping to your stomach, breathless, "What?"

"He's been surveying your safe house. He knows what job you're on, you have to get out of there now."

One of them rushed you from behind, you promptly elbowed his throat and he let you go -you spun on your heel and shot him square in the head. It was on instinct, your brain was running a thousand miles a minute.

"I can't hide from a guy like him, Maria," you spoke, a sort of shake in your tone, "-he'll find me. He'll find the twins-"

"Listen to me," she repeated, "-we have a plan, but it's not going to be easy."

"Yeah," you sighed, "-okay. I've got nothing to lose, right?"

"There's a car on the westside of the building, you need to head that way and-"

"Maria," you thought of the twins, "-I already have a ride."

"I want you to listen to me very carefully, you are not making it out of this building alive."

"Jesus," you laughed, "-have a little faith in me-"

"Butterfly, you are not making it out of this building alive."

"I am," you replied, "-I don't know what you're thinking but I'm perfectly capable."

"You, Butterfly, are not making it out of this building alive. Are you listening?"

"I don't-"

"As far as anyone knows, you are dead. As far as the White Death knows, you are dead."

"Oh," you responded, softly, "-this is... I'm... What about the twins?"

"They can't know. The White Death will be surveying them for months after, if they don't play the part-"

"They would," you ushered out, tears burning at the backs of your eyes, "-they... They could not see me for awhile but they would know-"

"I'm sorry, but if you're actually going to stay alive, they can't know. The White Death is smart, he knows how close the three of you are. If they know, he'll know."

"Please," you whispered, you felt like you couldn't breathe, "-without them... You don't know what it'll put them through, Maria, I can't-"

"I'm sorry."

Tears fell before you could stop them, heavy and your throat felt like it was closing up (good god, you couldn't breathe). You stumbled to the window, eyes catching on the car that waited for you by the entrance -if you squinted you could see them, you just wanted to see them again. Even if it was the last time-

"Butterfly, breathe, I need you to focus, okay? For them and you."

"Will you tell them first, before... before anyone else? They deserve to-" your voice cracked, "-They deserve to know first."

"Of course."

You swallowed, gasping for a breath and desperately wiping at your eyes -it felt like you were suffocating. Even still, you righted yourself -for the twins.

"What do you need from me?"

"Leave your phone and something they would know you wouldn't leave behind. They have to... They have to believe it."

With a shaky breath, you threw your phone to the floor -it cracked, but you didn't care. You scanned over yourself, digging into your pockets for something -anything. And then you remembered, the scratching on the fabric -it was your bracelet.

It was a gift from the twins, a simple charm bracelet with one single charm: a butterfly.

You remembered when they gave it to you, you promising to keep it on every day. It was the best gift you'd ever been given-

Hands shaking, you unclasped it -watching as it clattered to the ground, butterfly looking up at you. With another breath, you pulled your knife out of your pocket -three initials carved into the handle. Something in you cracked then as you looked at it, a little shrine to you -this is what they'd see. When they were told you were dead, they'd see this. That was... That was it.

You couldn't stay here anymore.

"Maria," you swallowed, blinking back as many tears as you could, "-where's the car?"

The next 4 years were a lot. You'd finally become yourself, a man, and you lived out in a small little cabin in the woods. You lived next to a teeny-tiny town where everyone knew each other, and you made your life there.

It was a sunny day when a car pulled up to your home -a fancy, expensive one. You knew it well, it dropped you off here all that time ago. Maria.

She smiled when she saw you, skimming over you -she knew about the transition but she hadn't seen you since before, "You look good, happier."

"Thanks," you smiled, leading her into your home. She was well aware of your home, every few years, she visited. Told you things, about the twins -their successes, their failures. They were infamous now. Sometimes it felt like you were there again, you could close your eyes and smell Tangerine's cologne and see Lemon's smile-

"I have some news," Maria started leaning against your countertop -she was always so rigid, all business.

"Yeah?" you smiled, "-What did they do now?"

"The White Death is dead," she spoke -frank and direct.

Something in your shoulders lifted, tears burning the back of your eyes -it had been so long, "Did they...?"

You knew very little about what she told them then, but you do know it had to do with the White Death. You knew they'd try and avenge you one day, it was just in their blood. You hoped they had peace now.

"A few people did," she clarified, "-remember the bullet train I talked about last week?"

"Yeah, you had Ladybug on that one, right?" you asked, you knew of the guy -never met him.

"The twins were there," she hummed, "-Turned out to be planned by him. He was going to kill them all by the end of the line."

"But they survived?" you asked.

"They did," she assured, before pausing for a moment, "-I'm here to ask you something."

You pursed your lips, something catching in your chest, "I can't see them, Maria-"

"That's not-" she started, before clearing her throat, "-I want to ask if you want back in."

"Into... work again?" You asked, curious.

"Yes," she said, laying it all out, "-We have a spot open, you'd be under me. We can start out with small jobs-"

"Isn't this what we planned? All that time ago?"

"We did," Maria confirmed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "-but, you've been here so long. Your plans can change, you know. You could live a normal life."

You thought back to that conversation that late night with Tangerine. You had wanted it then. At the time, you didn't know who you wanted it with but now... you did. And that... that wasn't happening.

But going back to work, that was familiar, that felt normal. You'd be yourself again. You hadn't felt that way fully since that day, but you could achieve it now. Mostly.

"Okay," you responded, "-I'm in."

That is what brought you here in some office building for a drive under the name, Beetle. Well, you weren't alone. A couple of months ago, you'd been at a meeting of the agency -Maria had requested you come. You'd said something a little bit snappy and from the back, a guy with blonde hair, glasses, and a huge smile, had yelled, "I like this guy!"

That was your introduction to Ladybug, and he'd immediately requested to be your partner to Maria. He even threw in some 'pretty-please's, you'd laughed really hard that day -you hadn't in a long time. And with a little hope of some normalcy, you agreed.

Now this was pretty run of the mill, you'd worked with Ladybug to know most of his quirks -like forgetting literally everything as soon as you stepped into the building, and not wanting to kill people on Wednesdays ('My therapist says I need to start taking care of myself, this is me doing that, Beetle.').

"Listen," you turned to him, "-just keep the guy distracted, I will find the drive."

"Hey," he mumbled, eating some kind of finger food, "-Aren't we supposed to be a team? What was it that Maria said-"

"Ladybug," you sighed, he could really annoy you, "-firstly, you know she never says anything in your favor-" he nodded at that in agreement, "-secondly, do you even remember what you had for breakfast this morning?"

He paused, squinting his eyes.

"Exactly," you pointed out, "-so I will go find the drive, and you go... mingle."

"I don't wanna mingle," he nearly whined, "-I should've retired after the bullet train."

You froze for a moment, at the mention, before coming back down to earth, "You can do that after we do this, yeah?"

"Oh," he waved his hand with a grin, "-you know I could never leave you, Beetle."

You smiled then, "I know. Now, go, seriously-"

"Yeah, alright," he swatted you, "I'm going-"

With that, you slipped over to the elevator -squeezing past a few stray people and pressing the top floor. Luckily, it was some sort of company party, so every office was unattended. You, yourself, needed the top office, so out of respect for your knees -you'd decided to use the elevator.

You would later wildly regret this decision.

Around the fifth floor, it stopped. You fully prepped yourself for some stray office worker, probably holding a two-liter to bring downstairs and the awkward conversation that would ensue. Instead, it was much, much worse.

Because in front of that door stood Lemon, tips still bleached and dressed in a casual suit -the same kind he always used to wear. Your heart was in your throat, so you casually arranged your tie -trying not to let your voice come out squeaky.

"What floor?" You offered.

He didn't say a word, was just staring for a moment -brown eyes solid on you like he was reading you. You knew you looked different, and even sounded different but you still thought maybe-

"Seventh, thank you," he smiled, sauntering up to your side.

You smiled with a nod, and pressed the button.

The silence was unbearable, and you were certainly going to give Maria an earful when you got back because this. Was. Not. Supposed. To. Happen.

That was literally your one clause for this work-

"Do I know you?" Lemon asked, looking at you questioningly, "-I feel like I've seen you somewhere before. You're so familiar-"

Your tongue was quicker than your brain, "I'm Carl, Mr. Madison's assistant?"

He pursed his lips, like he was trying to believe it.

"I work on the third floor, mostly," you lied through your teeth -it was just keeping cover, "-maybe you saw me there?"

"Yeah," he settled, still eyeing you weirdly, "-probably."

The rest of the ride was silent, just before he stepped off, "Carl, if ya see an uptight guy in a suit with a mustache, tell 'im I'm on seventh, will ya?"

You instinctively nodded, and as the doors slipped shut -your brain started screaming. Of course, Tangerine was here. God, you could handle Lemon, but-

You pressed your com on, hissing out, "Maria-"

"Yeah, Beetle, what's going on? Everything okay?"

"The twins are here," you spoke -tone wavering, your breaths felt shallow like you weren't getting enough no matter how hard you tried.

"Oh shit."

"Wow," you came back to earth for a moment, "-that's the first time I've heard you lose your cool. Too bad I'm losing my mind-"

"Beetle, listen to me, okay? They don't know who you are. You look different, you sound different."

"I know," you let a breath out, "-I just. I never wanted to see them again. I don't... I don't deserve to."

"Beetle, we've talked about this."

"I know," you took a breath in, "-I know. It's just a lot."

"Is Ladybug there with you?"

"No," you spoke, like it was obvious, "-he can hardly remember his name sometimes, Maria-"

"I'll tell him there's an emergency. Send him up to you."

"But there isn't?" You countered, hand slipping up to run through your hair.

"If the twins are there for the same thing, there's about to be."

With that, you were on the top floor. You kept your eyes peeled -fancy shoes clopping along the tile. You'd always wanted a pair, but now you felt like a prick, honestly.

You figured if Tangerine was anywhere he was here, or shuffled into the party. That was if you had the same motivation.

Which was probably your best bet.

Somehow, you made it to the office in one piece. No peering blue eyes anywhere or accents melting into your ears, you were alone. Huh, maybe you were lucky.

You shuffled through some drawers, scattering paperwork and knocking a tin of paperclips over. It really didn't matter, the man would notice the USB gone anyway so no need for it to look like someone hadn't stolen it. With the drawers, you came up empty-handed.

You pursed your lips, before brushing your fingers along the top shelf of the bookshelf, maybe it was hidden? Nope.

You spun on your toes, before your eyes landed on the laptop. It was literally plugged into his laptop, out in the open.

"Idiots," you mumbled, before pocketing it with the slip of your hand.

Ready to go and fetch Ladybug, your job was done-

"Give me the fuckin' drive," his voice bounced around your head, and you very nearly cracked your neck spinning around to see him.

The first thing was the gun in your face, which was familiar, actually.

You raised your hands in surrender, instinctively muttering, "Jesus Christ."

He stalled for a minute when his eyes met your face like he was processing something -you thought out of anyone he would recognize you. The gun faltered in his hand as his eyebrows crept together into a furrow, confused.

You washed over him too, his hair was slightly longer and he was stronger -you could tell. His mustache was the same, and the suit too, just tighter. But along his neck, right at the collarbone was a nasty scar -it was new, fresh, you could tell. A couple of months at most.

"Look, I'm just Mr. Madison's assistant," you started, your voice shaking but it actually helped you here, "-I don't know what you're talking about."

"Do you think I'm fuckin' stupid?" He countered, frustrated again, but there was still something skewed in his face, "-I saw you slip it in your pocket."

"Right," you swallowed, "-glass doors."

He leaned forward, the gun doing the same. And you heard the jingle of his necklace, the one he always wore -something from his childhood he said, but there was another sound, another noise. Before you could think any better, your eyes dipped to it.

The butterfly charm.

Your heart stalled in your chest.

He had the butterfly charm, your butterfly charm, around his neck. The silver was stark against the gold, so you really couldn't have missed it -how long has he been wearing that?

A sob trickled up the back of your throat, but you held it back -blinking away tears.

"Look," you echoed, voice heavy with wear -you wouldn't cry, not now, "-we can work this out."

"I said," he stepped forward, and you could smell his cologne -it was still the same, "-give me the fuckin' drive."

You didn't move.

"Do you want a fuckin' bullet in your head, love?" He asked, his face getting redder, but there was still something in his eyes -he was hesitating. He never hesitates.

Not... not at work. He pulls the trigger and is done but he's hesitating-

Your heart pounding in your chest, you stood your ground -digging your heels in, "Shoot me. You can take it off my corpse, just shoot me."

Tangerine frowned, something in his face flickering between your eyes -you knew he saw you, but you didn't know how he did. Did he think it was just a coincidence? Did he know? Did he think he was hallucinating?

He opened his mouth, but before he could say a word -Lemon walked in with a gun pressed to his temple. Your eyes caught on Ladybug's and he visibly seemed to relax at the sight of you breathing.

"For old times sake," he spoke, "-you give me my guy, I give you yours."

"You almost fuckin' killed me," Tangerine seethed through his teeth, "-why should I 'ave any leniency?"

Oh, you thought, that scar was from Ladybug?

"He's got a point 'ere," Lemon replied, rather plainly. You wanted to laugh.

Ladybug paused, "I said I was sorry, I thought we were past that, guys! We killed the White Death together, remember?"

Both of them froze, tense and lips twitching. Was that... Was that because of you?

"Oh, right, sorry," Ladybug recanted, "-sensitive subject."

It was. Something in your chest panged, you'd never thought you'd see it firsthand. You never wanted to-

You stopped the train of thought, hissing to Ladybug, "You are not helping here, you know that?"

"I'm trying my best," he practically whined back, "-you try reasoning with these guys! It's like talking to two brick walls-"

"Ladybug," you chastised.

"Right, sorry," he repeated.

You sighed, leveling to look at them, "Look, I'll give you guys the drive, okay? Just let us go. I'll get him out of here."

Tangerine softened just a smidge -blue eyes matching yours, you may have looked different but your eyes stayed the same. You knew that, and you hoped somewhere in him, he recognized them or they reminded him or anything-

Because if they didn't, you weren't making it out of here alive.

Wordlessly, Tangerine put his gun down and held out his hand. So he did see it.

Ladybug's eyes nearly bulged out of his head, he was clearly not expecting him to relent. But then again, you weren't either.

You pulled it from your pocket, dropping it into his open hand -careful not to touch him, you couldn't do that to yourself.

"Ladybug," you spoke, motioning for him to follow, "-Let's go. We'll tell Maria on the way."

He did as such, giving the gun back to Lemon, and slowly following you out of the door -back turned to the outside, keeping watch.

"Did you-" Tangerine interrupted, stalling the two of you in your path -your heartbeat quickened in your chest, as he turned to look at you, only you, "-Did you know Butterfly?"

"Everyone knows Butterfly," Ladybug responded, "-she's a legend, even for our agency."

He didn't react to his response, only solidly looking at you, Lemon too. You felt like every move you made was outing you, revealing you. That they would realize and hate you and never understand-

"I never knew her personally," you answered, swallowing, "-Just... Just stories."

And with that, you spun on your heel and walked out the door -Ladybug following dutifully behind. You felt their eyes on you every step until you turned back around in the elevator.

You didn't do a job for quite awhile after that. Ladybug, following your lead, took a break too -said something about meditating. You didn't listen, you couldn't.

All you could see was that charm hanging on his necklace -right next to his heart. Did Lemon have your knife? Did they split them?

The next few months were boring, Maria kept calling you and you kept telling her you were okay, you just needed some time. She even sent Ladybug on you a couple of times, but even he could tell you weren't at your best. He just kept recommending things his therapist said, you appreciated it, really, even though it didn't help at all.

When you finally got back to work, Maria sent you as a solo -Ladybug was something you had to limit after a while. All you had to do was get a package before it was delivered, simple.

You didn't know why god seemed to hate you.

You were posed as a delivery truck driver, you even had the truck, the outfit, and the lift. It was something you genuinely enjoyed and everything should've gone perfectly.

It should have been as easy as walking in and walking back out.

That was not the case.

You arrived at the hotel lobby, dressed in the uniform and smiling at the front desk. Politely asking for the boxes you needed, something about office supplies or pillows or something. The hotel had too much of it. All you had to do, was get the package and sneak it in with the others.

"Can I run to your bathroom?" You asked with a smile -you had to get out of the lobby somehow.

"Of course," she smiled, bright and beautiful, "-There's one down that hallway and to the right."

You followed those directions, and then decisively took off into the bathroom -despite it not being a part of the plan. Somewhere in the back of your head, you noted that someone was definitely following you. It was a shadow in the back of your eye, but you still saw it.

So when the door opened behind you, you raised your fist and-

Stopped.

Tangerine stood there, eyes wide as your fist was mere inches from his face. He was wearing a coat, maybe like a trenchcoat, that was brown and gave his whole outfit something entirely different.

"What the hell?" You hissed out, lowering your fist, "-What are you doing here? Following me?"

Tangerine seemed to pause for a moment, before wiping his hand over his mouth, "I'm stayin' 'ere, saw ya out in the lobby. This isn't... It's not a job. I'm not 'ere to... to hurt you."

"Did you just want to say hi?!" You asked, sarcastically -this could not be happening again, "-Last time I saw you, you had a gun pointed at my head. Forgive me for being afraid."

He licked his lips, and you noticed it then, something was very off. He wasn't angry, no, he looked exhausted like he hadn't slept in days; his eyes were red and puffy like he had been crying. Had he been crying?

"Um," you started, trying to act normal, "-is everything okay...?"

"Tangerine," he finished for you.

"Beetle," you offered in response, before repeating, "-Seriously, is everything okay? Should I call your... your partner?"

"You knew 'er," he interrupted, voice worn.

"Knew who?" You questioned, squeezing your nails into your palm -you knew where this was going.

"Butterfly," he clarified, "-you fuckin' knew 'er, you had to."

"Look, Tangerine," you replied, "-I already told you-"

He interrupted you again, quietly letting out a wet sort of chuckle, "You even say it like 'er."

"Say what?"

"My name," he bit at his lip, gnawing at it, really, "-you say it the exact same way, and I... I fuckin' remember that, so you knew 'er."

You were speechless for a moment, before settling yourself -trying to stay away from this, "Do... Do you need to talk for a minute? Or?"

"Are you 'er brother?" He asked, something heavy in his gaze, "-It's the only solution I can think of, and it's drivin' me fuckin' mad. I have to know-"

"Why would I say I don't know her if I'm her brother?"

"I don't fuckin' know," he breathed out, hands running through his hair, "-are you afraid of the White Death? What he... he did to 'er? He's dead, very dead. You can say you know 'er-"

"But, I don't," you offered, a little weaker.

"You do," he replied simply, "-you fuckin' 'ave to, you look just like 'er. You can't- I can't... Just tell me the truth."

"I'm not her brother," you repeated, it was the only thing you could say.

"Did she ever say anythin' about me? About... About Lemon?" He continued, his voice scratchy and eyes blinking so fast you knew he was holding back tears -your stomach churned.

"Tangerine," you sighed out, "-I don't know what to-"

He interrupted you again, hand pulling on his necklace, the charm, "'s hers, you were starin' at it the other day. 'Was her bracelet, but I think ya know 'at."

"Look," you swallowed, heavily, "-I can't do this now, I'm on a job. We can talk later, though, if you need to."

You ended up finding the box in ten minutes and leaving without another word.

By the time, you were ready for missions again -you were half convinced you wanted to just go back to the cabin, and live your life there. Away from mustaches and feelings and fear, you could enjoy yourself -listen to birds, observe nature, even.

Maria even offered it, after the last trip, she'd smiled at you in the solemn way she did and offered you the home back, the life back.

You thoroughly debated it for a few days but wanted to feel like yourself again and this was the closest you'd get, ever.

You loved him, and this was the closest thing you'd get to him. It was all you had.

Even if he did love you, you were... different now and you couldn't imagine that would be okay with him. You didn't let yourself.

The next time you saw the twins, you decided to embrace it -try and be as close as you could. If they figured it out and left you in the dust, so be it. You wanted them in your life.

It was another solo mission, Ladybug was in one of those 'I'm going to quit and move to Costa Rico' phases of his career and you didn't exactly want to cozy up with anybody else.

Maria understood, and sent you alone.

It was a hit, some guy with a big life insurance policy -his wife hired you, apparently. He was a loner, and didn't go much of anywhere, so you were to stage a robbery and simply kill him in the kerfuffle. Or, at least make it look like that.

The job was so easy that you'd taken to the city afterward -you wanted to live a normal life for a minute, and after it all, you ended up in a bar. A sort of quiet one with a wooden bar and dim lights -the only people in there being men watching football games, and even they did say much of a word.

It was calm, peaceful.

You heard the door jingle, you knew the sound but assumed it was a normal person -sipping on your drink in your booth alone, away from prying eyes. You didn't exactly want any company, not really, but you ended up with some.

The steps of fancy shoes, it was ingrained in your brain, only getting louder -you thought maybe someone was going to sit close to you. Until they abruptly stopped at your side, you promptly turned your head -eyes peering over your drink.

Tangerine stood there in much better shape, blue eyes focused gently onto you (not red and puffy) and hair perfectly gelled back. He was wearing the blue suit that matched his eyes really well -you'd told him it was his best one once.

"Tangerine," you hummed, sipping your drink, "-weird seeing you here."

He paused, eyes flicking over you for a moment -maybe taking in your outfit, just the same as you did. Before muttering out, "'Ere's a safe house nearby, me and Lemon are stayin' 'ere."

You knew that one, the three of you stayed there a couple of times but then again, where hadn't the three of you stayed?

You pondered over that for a moment, before speaking, "You can sit down, you know, I won't bite."

He seemed to tense up.

"Unless you do," you clarified with a bit of a smile, "-in which I retract my statement."

His lips quirked for a second, as he slid into the booth across from you, "'M off the clock."

"Ah," you nodded your head, "-lucky for you, me too."

"Lucky for me?" He asked, it all seemed so natural -you knew he'd ask questions about it later.

"I'm a good fight," you shrugged, "-what can I say?"

"I imagine," he laughed, and something in your chest swirled -you missed that.

He sat in silence for a moment, tapping his fingers against the table, as you messed with the napkin you had. It wasn't uncomfortable, not really, (you didn't think it would ever be) but there was still something hanging over the two of you.

"Look," he said, suddenly, "-about the other day. I'm sorry, I was... I was in a really bad fuckin' place. Just brought up some memories... I didn't mean to-"

"Relax, Tangerine," you sighed, something bubbling up your throat, "-I know what it feels like when you've seen a ghost."

Something in you twisted, tired, and thinking you were lying. God, you were lying to him. But you couldn't chance losing him again, you didn't want him to hate you. Force himself out of your life, his choice.

Not yours. It was selfish, you knew that much.

"They treat ya well?" He asked, and you tilted your head, "-Your agency? I had a friend... switched over, so..."

"Very well," you hummed, "-My handler is... she understands my breaks."

"You had a break?"

"Long time ago," you spoke, vaguely -you couldn't be specific, "-stayed in a cabin, lived normal for awhile."

He leaned back into the booth, something in him curious, you could see it, "How was it?"

"Boring," you decided.

"Yeah," he murmured, "-always thought it fuckin' would be."

You took a leap then, even if the answer would hurt. You wanted to know.

"You ever thought about it?"

"Bein' normal?" He clarified -eyes smooth over your face.

You nodded, finishing your drink -he seemed to notice, and you half thought he'd offer you to get another.

"Yeah," he breathed out -not matching your eyes now, something heavy on his shoulders, "-once a long fuckin' time ago. But... things change."

You wondered if it was because of you -that one night. If he wanted that with you-

He wouldn't anymore, your mind chimed -stinging under your skin, you are different. So is he.

Timing would never be right, it made your lips snap shut anytime you thought of telling him. The idea that he had loved you then, and now... now he wouldn't. That was worse than him hating you for life, just not... just not loving you anymore.

You swallowed, thick -you wanted to know more, but you couldn't just say that, "That they do."

He paused for a moment, before sliding out of the booth, "I 've to go, Lemon's waitin' on me."

You nodded your head, toying with your glass -eyes slinking across the rim, something in you disappointed. Something in you wanted him to stay, but that wasn't going to happen. You couldn't have him.

Not now.

"Beetle," he spoke, slow and measured, "-'S nice talkin' to ya. Maybe we can catch up again when we aren't at each other's fuckin' throats, yeah?"

"Yeah," you agreed, the tips of your mouth turning up just a little, "-I'd be alright with that."

You started seeing Tangerine every once in a while, strange little cafés and dimly lit bars. You didn't know how he always ended up in the area with you or close by, but it felt familiar. Like when the two of them would follow you into jobs, even when you said you'd be fine because they wanted you to be okay. Just in case. You supposed now that they actually had something to worry about.

That led you to now, you laid on the tile of a building -head pounding and the lights blinding. You had successfully cleared it and killed your hit, but someone had snuck up on you -gun drawn, they took a cheap shot.

"Maria," you breathed out, "-Maria, come in."

"Beetle? Everything alright?"

"They got a cheap shot in-" you hummed, "-I think in my chest? It hurts to breathe-"

"Okay, alright. I'll see who's around you, okay?"

"I think I can walk-"

"Don't move, keep your hands on the wound. What floor are you on?"

"Second," you faltered out a breath -a sting in your lungs, even still you shifted putting all your weight on your hands, "-shit, never get used to that."

"Never will."

You laughed, leaning your head back down against the tile -it was cold against your skin. You felt like you were burning alive, so it was actually a little refreshing.

The lights above you hurt your eyes, but it was easier to breathe this way. Inhale, exhale -a sting, inhale, exhale -a sting.

You imagined for a second this was years ago, that you were actually dying then. The twins would come rushing in, burst through the doors, and Lemon would be darting all over you -trying to figure it out. And Tangerine... Tangerine would grab your face and keep you awake -soft words but every once in a while shaking you to keep you awake. You wouldn't have been able to die then, not with them there -trying to help. You supposed you could die now, bleed out on a tile floor alone or with someone you didn't even know.

This dream of it being Tangerine and Lemon, that was something you could live for -you could almost see it in your head.

And then you heard it, a door busting open and fancy shoes clattering down the hallway -like yours that made you feel like a prick. You wondered if you got the idea of them from Tangerine, he surely owned so many pairs-

"Shit," there was a voice then, and your eyes snapped to the source.

Oh, I'm definitely hallucinating.

Tangerine stood over you before falling to his knees, mumbling -frustrated, "I just fuckin' knew it was you."

"Am I..." you spoke, breathlessly, "-Am I hallucinating?"

"What do you think I am? A fuckin' angel?" Something in your mind answered yes, "-Hate to break it to you, love, but it's just me."

"How the hell were you around here?"

"A job," he said, a little too quickly -it was suspicious.

"Lying-" you slurred out, "-I can tell you're lying."

Tangerine didn't say anything in response, ignoring it, "'S your chest, yeah?"

"Yeah," you hummed, "-where I'm holding."

"Alright," he breathed out, "-alright. Don't stop holdin' it, okay? Keep your hand 'ere."

"How am I gonna move?"

He rolled his eyes, "Can't give me an inch of fuckin' trust, can ya?"

"Sure, I can," you breathed out, flinching slightly, "-just tell me your plan."

He let out a chuckle, before without warning -slipping his arms under your knees and back. The movement jostled you a little and it hurt -you hissed out.

"Sorry, love," he echoed out, softer than you expected, "-'s the only way to get ya out of 'ere."

"I know," you exhaled, "-I know. Keep going."

It felt like you hadn't even blinked before he was pattering out of the building -he was going so fast. Your head was spinning now, but you were still conscious.

"Shit," you heard Lemon, as Tangerine slipped you into the backseat, laying you across the seats -head first, "-a bullet?"

"Fucking cheap shot," you breathed out, "-Killed a whole building full of people and some asshole came up behind me and shot me-"

Lemon seemed to laugh slightly at your frustration; it made you feel a little lighter.

Tangerine shut the door and you waited for him to slip into the passenger seat. You were getting tired, you just wanted to bandage it up and go to whatever hotel was open.

Instead, Tangerine slipped into the side with your head -carefully lifting it and setting you back down onto his lap. You froze -his cologne surrounding your head so much it made you woozy. Why had he done that?

"Stay awake, yeah?" He spoke, breaths raggedy -he really must've been going fast, "Beetle, do you hear me?"

"Yeah, yeah," you swallowed, the smooth cushion of his suit pants was tempting, but the situation you currently were in kept you awake. Your heart was pounding, your brain spinning, you were so close.

You'd been closer, but that was over 4 years ago. Even further when his hands made their way to your face and hair -trying to keep you awake. It worked very, very well.

Had he ever held your face before?

Something in you said no, but it could've happened. You were also so close and any time you got injured he'd always wanted to see it for himself. He usually refused to leave until he took care of it himself, with gentle hands. Whose to say you hadn't gotten a cut on your face?

Why did it feel so different now?

You looked up at him, just for a spare second -you saw his hand run through his hair, unveiling the curls by the second. You'd always liked his curls, when he'd shown you his natural hair -it was all soft and bouncy. It wasn't good for his image, you totally understood.

He's nervous, your mind chimed, does he care about you like this too?

You slapped away the thought and decidedly started staring up at the plush ceiling -this car was definitely expensive, you knew that much. The cushion on the seats, the detailing, the roof, the speed-

This thing had to be stolen.

"Ya alright, love?"

You swallowed and met his eyes, big blue blinking down at you and you could see it, the concern. Since when was he concerned for you? This you? Something had changed at some point and you didn't even notice.

"I've been shot," you retorted, obviously, "-I'm currently bleeding out on your fancy seats."

"That's not-" he huffed out, pinching the bridge of his nose -you couldn't hold back the grin on your lips.

Lemon laughed from the front, "'Give 'im a real run for his money, you know 'at, Beetle?"

"I try my best."

Lemon laughed again, and something in your chest felt lighter -you had missed them, so much. All those years at that fucking cabin, you had missed out on them, on knowing them, watching them, being with them.

God, you regretted everything then, but it was for the best. It kept them safe.

"Seriously," his voice was lower now but still so pointed, "-are you alright?"

You blinked away the fog of tears in your eyes, not now, and nodded, "Yeah, yeah. I'm alright."

The ride was short after that, it was wordless. Even though you think Tangerine wanted to say more, he didn't pry. Which you thought was very strange because he's Tangerine (he prods and pokes until you're set on murdering him) but you were literally bleeding out, so maybe it was courtesy.

You didn't have the heart to think it was anything else.

The twins brought you up the stairs, each taking a shoulder, and although it wasn't as dizzying as before when Tangerine had physically held you... It still was overwhelming.

These guys were like your family. You hadn't been this close to them in years.

"Alright, I'm assumin' you got the wounds?" Lemon asked, directed at Tangerine.

With a succinct nod, Lemon spun back around in the doorway -talking as he walked out, "'M off to get some food, don't bite each other's heads off, yeah? I'd hate to clean up the mess, personally-"

And then he was gone. You were currently sitting on a stool, hand still pressed intently into your chest, as Tangerine gathered up what medical supplies they had. Which was a lot, actually.

You spoke before you could think about it, "You know I can do this myself, right?"

"God, you've got quite the fuckin' head, don't ya?"

"You're one to talk," you replied.

Tangerine pursed his lips, in a way you could tell he was hiding a smile, before his eyes drifted to the ground for a moment. He didn't respond immediately, thinking on it.

And even when he brought everything onto the counter, he didn't say anything. It wasn't until he stood in front of you, nearly in between your legs as you sat on the stool.

"Just let me help you, yeah?"

Your eyes flickered over him, trying to read him but all you could get was -please. Almost like a desperation to help you, like he'd wanted to do this not just offering it-

"Yeah, okay," you responded softly.

"Shirt off," he quickly spoke -right to business, reaching over to the counter to grab what he needed.

You swallowed, you still weren't used to that. Taking your shirt off in front of people, off the top of your head you couldn't think of anyone who had seen your scars. Your top surgery scars. They were very obvious, right in the middle of your chest, and unavoidable. Did you want him to see them?

"Can't I just..." you started, "-unbutton the bottom?"

Tangerine turned back to you then, furrowing his eyebrows, "The gunshots in the middle of your chest, love, it'd be fuckin' half on anyway. Just take it off."

You frowned.

"No judgment here," he put his hands in the air, "-I couldn't care fuckin' less what your chest looks like, personally."

You licked your teeth and swallowed, before unbuttoning the dress shirt, slowly, but keeping it solidly on your shoulders. Kind of like how the men in cologne ads looked, with their opened-up shirts and the epitome of masculinity-

He didn't say a word, but you saw his eyes flicker over them -almost like he was noting it in his head before he switched his attention to the wound. He promptly dabbed it with an alcohol soaked cotton ball, and you nearly bit through your lip.

"Warn a guy, will you?"

Tangerine didn't even look up, "If that hurt, you're gonna have a fuckin' problem later, love."

"I've been stitched up before," you clarified, "-I'm not a newbie."

"Might as well be, yeah?" He hummed, tossing the cotton ball in the trash -flawlessly making it in (how does he even exist?), "-With your break."

"How do you know it was a long one?"

"I've never fuckin' heard of you," Tangerine explained, "-Ladybug's never heard of you and you're a part of his agency-" he dabbed another one over your wound, "-Must've been a long break."

He had a good point.

"Why are you so interested anyway?" You asked, quirking a brow, "-Plus, there are other agencies, how do you know I didn't come from one of them?"

"You're too good to 'ave," he replied, simply.

You fell silent, something stirring in your stomach -was that the first time he'd ever complimented you? Beetle you? Huh.

"Wow," you hummed, "-you can be nice. Who knew?"

"You're soundin' like fuckin' Lemon now," he groaned, before taking the needle from the counter.

"Lemon's smart then," you diverted your eyes -never could stand looking at being stitched up.

Tangerine rolled his eyes, and you looked back up to the ceiling -a smile ghosting onto your lips. Not that you'd ever let him see.

It went fairly smoothly, his hands made quick work of it and even quicker with the wound on your back (the bullet had gone right through your chest, luckily not hitting anything). Nothing happened, you were worried about nothing. He was Tangerine-

Just as you had started buttoning your shirt back up (you started from the bottom to the top), Tangerine froze.

Without a word, he walked closer to you -tilting your chin up with the ease of a finger and looking under it on your chest. You froze, his skin on yours was still something you couldn't deal with.

"Where'd you get 'at one?"

Fuck.

You knew what he was talking about immediately. It was a scar, just above your heart. You'd been stabbed on the job, and Lemon had fucked up your stitches so it had healed weird -came out curved somehow.

And then Tangerine was so paranoid that you showed him because he needed to know you were okay -it was so close to your heart.

"You almost fuckin' died, Butterfly. One inch down and..."

It was a one-of-a-kind scar. At the time, it didn't matter but now? You knew Tangerine could recognize that scar anywhere.

"Tangerine," you spoke out, measured. You tried to keep your voice calm, maybe you could save this-

He stepped back, eyes making contact with yours -they darted between them for a moment and then back to the scar, and then to your top surgery scars. You could see the wheels turning in his head, and everything in your body was screaming-

"Tangerine, listen-"

That was enough, something in him stiffened and he grabbed his coat off the back of the couch.

"Tangerine," you echoed out, but you knew it was no use now.

He didn't say a word, slipping it on and with the fastest steps you'd ever seen in your life, he disappeared out the door and slammed it shut.

The walls shook after.

You swallowed dryly, tears pricking at your eyes -this was never supposed to happen. This was never supposed to happen-

Your hand was on your com before you could even think about it, breaths shuddering out of your chest -sobs breaking in the back of your throat. You tried to stop it, hold it all back-

"Beetle? Hello? I see your com is on, everything alright?"

"They know," you whispered, nearly silent -tears streaming down your face.

"Who knows what?"

"The twins, they were... they were the ones nearby," you started, and your voice cracked, "-Tangerine offered to stitch me up and I have a scar-"

"Beetle, slow down. I can't understand you."

"They know who I am, Maria," you breathed out, tears catching in your throat, "-Tangerine knows and he's going to tell Lemon, and I don't know what the hell to do-"

"Beetle, breathe."

"He left," you echoed out, and you were crying -god it had been so long since you cried, "-he left, Maria. He didn't even say anything-"

"It's a lot to take in. Give him the benefit of the doubt."

"He's gone," you swallowed, "-I know it, Maria."

"You know him. Do you really think he's gone?"

You thought back to the pendant on his necklace -the butterfly, your butterfly.

"I don't..." you started, "-I don't know."

"Just wait, if nobody comes back... Give me a call, alright? I'll send a car your way."

So, you did.

You waited, buttoned your shirt back up, tried to wash the stain, and waited. You ended up flicking through TV shows, and smushed into the couch, waiting. Even thought about ordering your own food, but a part of you wanted to be sure that Lemon wasn't coming back.

After about two hours of waiting, you swallowed down the tears -eyes all red and puffy, and started gathering up your stuff. You accepted it now, you'd never see them again.

It was your decision, you would regret it for as long as you lived. Something in your chest heavy and exhausted, you readied yourself to call Maria back.

Just as your finger was about to touch the com, there was a jingle of some keys outside the door. You froze in place, slipping on one of your shoes without another thought -ready to leave. You knew he'd ask you.

The door slowly opened, and Tangerine peered inside -he looked worse for wear and you think if you focused hard enough you could see blood on his knuckles. You wouldn't ask, not now.

His blue eyes flicked over you, to your shoes and your coat all gathered up on your arms, he gnawed at his lip for a moment.

"Where the fuck are you goin'?

It was all harsh edges and sharp points, it made you bring up your own barriers.

"I'm leaving," you answered, straightening your posture and putting on your other shoe.

Tangerine didn't move for a moment, as you slowly made your way to the door -footsteps echoing in the heaviest silence you'd ever experienced in your life.

Just before you got there, Tangerine stepped in front of the door -something in his eyes heavy.

"Tangerine," you sighed, "-let me go."

"No," he answered simply, eyes meeting yours and you saw now, they were red and puffy too, "-hell no."

"Look, I really don't want to-" you started before briefly rubbing your temples, "-you want me to leave, just let me leave."

"Who the fuck said 'at?"

You tilted your head.

"Why would I want you to leave?" He furrowed his eyebrows, still angry, "-You... I just got you back, why the fuck would I want you to leave?"

"I lied to you, Tan," you breathed out, and something caught in your throat, "-I lied to you for years."

"You're fuckin' alive-" Tangerine exhaled, chuckling a little in disbelief, "-I have so many questions, yeah? That is far, so fuckin' far, from wantin' you to leave."

"Tangerine," you spoke, voice shaky, you just wanted to go. It would be so much easier if you just left-

He paused for a second, "Are you fuckin' listenin' to me?"

"I am," you replied, tears rising to the backs of your eyes, "-I just can't..."

"Love," he grabbed your wrist, something softer, gentler, "-Love, look at me, please."

You swallowed your tears and with a big breath, you looked at him. His eyes were always so very blue, but something about them then was vulnerable. Broken wide open, Tangerine sat in front of you.

"I want ya to stay, yeah?" He breathed out, wiping over his mouth, "-I want you to stay."

You pursed your lips, trying so hard not to cry -you shouldn't be the one crying, "Okay."

"Now," he sighed out, a little lighter, "-fuckin' sit down, you shouldn't aggravate the wound."

You wordlessly sat down on the far edge of the couch, closest to the door. Your hands were shaking, so you laid them flat on your lap -trying to calm down.

He wants you to stay.

"You said-" he started, his voice getting caught up in his mouth, "-You said you were in a cabin, yeah? Where?"

You opened your mouth, confused, "Why does that matter? You have... I lied to you for years and that’s your first question?"

He was standing up, pacing, and then suddenly stopped. He looked up at the ceiling for a moment blinking.

"You know, when they told us you were... dead," he echoed out -something caught in his throat, "-they didn't have a body? All we had was-"

His hand went to his necklace putting the pendant in between his fingers, "All we had was your things, there was no fuckin' body-"

"What does this have to do with-"

"I looked for you," he finally said, "-everywhere I went for a job, I fuckin' looked for you. Because if there wasn't a body, you could still be-"

He fell silent, for a moment -swallowing, eyes swimming over you like he couldn't believe it, "...alive."

"So," he continued, clearing his throat, "-I want to know where the fuck you were. 'At fair?"

Your mouth snapped shut - he looked for you? For how long? That wasn't important now though.

"Alaska," you answered, wiping at your eyes, "-small town, in the middle of nowhere. I had... I had an alias."

"Fuckin' Alaska," he muttered, under his breath.

"It was cold all the time," you added -a bit awkwardly, "-snowed nearly everyday."

Tangerine scanned over your face, maybe like he was trying to imagine you there, alone in the cabin. Or maybe, you out in the snow.

"That day..." he started slow, "-did you fight it? When you were told what you... what you had to do, did you fight it?"

"What are you asking?"

"Did you even think about telling us? Or, or-" he swallowed and his voice was husky and his eyes were bleary, "-coming back to us?"

"Tangerine," you echoed out, emotionless -trying to reign it in, "-I didn't have a choice. You know that."

"I know," he agreed, "-but did you fuckin' try?"

"You think-" you exhaled out, tears gathering in your eyes now, "-You think I didn't try to say goodbye? That I didn't beg Maria to change her mind? That I didn't tell her you guys would keep the secret-"

"Beetle-"

"-just so I could stay?"

"Beetle, I didn't..."

"I did," you swallowed, "-I did beg. It didn't work. If I... If you would've known, we both would've been in too much danger. I couldn't risk it."

"The White Death, yeah?" He clarified, and he was closer to you then he was before. His fingers kept twitching like he wanted to do something.

"He was after me," you hummed, "-knew where I was, where you were, where Lemon was."

"I just-" he started, "-I don't fuckin' get why... after you- After the White Death was killed, why didn't you- why didn't you come back? Tell us?"

"It's... complicated."

"Why?" he stressed out, "Why was it complicated? You were alive, and I don't know about Lemon, but, personally, I would've loved to fuckin' know 'at."

"Tangerine," you started, "-I'm different now, and you guys... you grieved me. How was I supposed to come back from that?"

"I don't give a flyin' fuck 'at you're a man," he interrupted, "-I just wish you would've felt comfortable enough to tell me- tell us earlier."

"Tangerine," you could feel the tears in your eyes.

"And we grieved you, yeah, but-" he explained, messing with his hands for a moment, "-knowing you're alive? That you were fuckin' breathin'? The grieving... It wouldn't 'ave fuckin' mattered, love."

"It would have," you stopped him, "-you thought I was dead-"

"Love," he suddenly sat by your side, gently holding your wrists in place, "-listen to me for once, yeah?"

You nodded, wordlessly, tears slipping down your face, this was guilt you were holding onto for years.

Without hesitating, Tangerine gently started swiping them away with his thumbs, "I thought I was in a world without fuckin' you. Lovely, annoying, beautiful fuckin' you."

You opened your mouth, but he merely continued.

"I couldn't imagine my life without ya in it, and then suddenly it was the fuckin' life I was livin'," he sighed out, eyes matching yours and hands cradling your jaw, "-you being alive changes fuckin' everythin'."

"Why?" You offered, eyes scattering between his -looking for an answer.

He paused for a moment, before dropping his hands, pushing his hair back for a moment, and swallowing. It was like he was readying himself.

"Lemon used to tell me that I was stupid," he finally said.

"Doesn't he always?" You furrowed your eyebrows.

He smiled a little bit, before grabbing one of your hands with his and fidgeting with your fingers -kind of like he just needed to be close to you, "Right, yeah. But this... He told me 'at one day I would regret not tellin' you."

"Telling me what?"

"When you... when you died, I realized the idiot was fuckin' right," he hummed out, a sob catching in his throat but he just kept talking, "-and then, I met a fuckin' self-righteous bloke who had the nerve to dare me to shoot 'im. Looked me right in the eyes."

"Tangerine-"

"And then the guy kept showin' up, and I kept seein' 'im and it was the always same back and forth," he continued, tracing along the creases of your palm, "-but at some point I started thinkin' that I wouldn't shoot 'im, even if he asked."

You laughed.

A smile flickered across his face at the noise, but he kept his eyes downward, "And then, I see 'im bloody and hurtin'. And I think back to the first time, when I didn't say it and if now I wasn't gonna be fuckin' able to-"

You raised an eyebrow.

"And then they dared to be the same fuckin' person."

"Tangerine," you asked, "-what the hell are you talking about?"

It was then that he finally looked up, and then you realized how close his face was to yours. You feel the puffs of his breath against your skin, and it made your head fuzzy. Your thoughts became blurry and all you could see was him-

Tangerine. Tangerine. Tangerine-

"I really don't give a fuck 'at you're a man," he repeated, blue eyes laser focused on yours.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "What the hell does that-"

His eyes dipped down to your lips.

Oh.

"Really?"

"Not a flyin' fuck," he echoed out.

You smiled, before letting your own eyes drift -just for a second. It was like a confirmation, a consent.

Before you could say another word, his hands reached up to grab your face and bring your lips to his. It was all force, desperate, like you were oxygen and he just wanted to breathe-

But somehow still gentle, holding you -fingers rubbing along your face like he was reminding himself you were there. That you were alive. That you were sitting there beside him breathing. It made sense now, all of it.

The grieving didn't matter because you were alive.

He finally separated, keeping his forehead on yours for a split second -staring into your eyes and huffing out breaths.

He kept you there, until it felt like you couldn't breathe -he stole all of it away.

When there was a knock on the door.

Then, there was another knock.

He groaned, throwing his head back -decidedly not letting you go.

"What do you fuckin' want, Lemon?"

"No way to treat someone who got you food," he chastised, "-you 'ave the keys, let me in."

"Come back in ten minutes," Tangerine answered -eyes solidly on yours, you felt frozen in your seat.

"The food's gonna get cold, mate," Lemon retorted, "-don't ya want it warm? I worked hard to get it, ya know? The closest restaurant was like a fuckin' block away-"

"Ten minutes," Tangerine repeated.

"I'm not fuckin' leaving," Lemon started again, "-it's cold out 'ere. You gonna leave your brother out in the fuckin' cold-"

"Fuckin' go, Lemon," Tangerine groaned out.

"Fine," he breathed out, "-keep snoggin', but don't fuckin' complain if I eat some of your food."

Yeah, you really missed this.

"We won't," you chimed in with a smile.

Tangerine smiled at you like you held the sun.

#tangerine bullet train #bullet train #tangerine x reader #tangerine x y/n #tangerine x you #tan's things #tangerine #tangerine bt oneshot #he/him reader #trans male! reader

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 7 months

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Pairing : Joshua Hong x F!Reader TW : it's angsty ; he's still not the gentleman Shua we love ; but he's better than the last part ; reader is wounded ; mention of guns and gunshots ; lots of talk of blood in the first half ; nobody dies though! ; happy ending ; Word Count : 1.8k Request : Anonny : Your stories are so good! My fav is When it’s Done with Joshua! Are you going to do a part 2? I’m dying to see what happened! A/N : I did not forget this request! I reread the first part, and lemme tell ya, I'm so excited to write part two!

The gunshot echoed through the small alleyway that you had run off into, it was loud and it pierced your ears like a firecracker had just gone off right next to your head. A warning shot you were sure of, probably from one of the guards that you had slipped away from. It wasn’t until you felt the sudden heat in your shoulder and the soaking of the shirt that you were wearing. You looked at your arm and saw the blood stain spreading through the fabric, and it was only once you had realized that it wasn’t a warning shot, that you had been shot, that you felt the agonizing burn and the pain that seemed to radiate and hit every single receptor in your body. It was all you could feel.

You dropped to the ground, practically crawling to hide behind a dumpster that was pressed up against one of the many abandoned buildings that you and Joshua had once scavenged in. With one hand clasped to your mouth, you reached your other hand to your back, gently pressing your finger against the spot where the bullet had gone straight through your skin. It hurt like a bitch, a pain that was indescribable, so bad it made you black out momentarily.

This was it, you were sure of it. You’d bleed out behind the dumpster because you just had to prove a point to the asshole who was being whisked away to somewhere safe. It was ironic, but you never made the best choices, and this was surely, without a doubt, the worst decision you had ever made in your life… Which now seemed to be very close to over.

“Dammit! Just let me go!” Joshua fought with the guard who was clearly becoming more and more annoyed with each push that was landed against him, so annoyed in fact that he finally threw up his arms, allowing Joshua to run past him.

He didn’t know the first place to run to, and to be honest, he didn’t know if he’d be able to find you. Part of him was actually terrified of what he would find if he did come across you. The gunshot had been so loud, it was close, and he knew that you couldn’t have made it far from the group before the shot had been fired.

What was he so afraid of? Why hadn’t he just let you in? It’s not like he didn’t have feelings for you, it’s not like you hadn’t found a way to weasel into his heart and make it seem like it was only beating for you. Who was there to put the act on for? Everyone else in the world that he thought had mattered were most likely gone now, you were all he had left… And now he was scared that he’d be truly alone in this world.

There was no one around, no one that could possibly be a threat, not that he could see. But you were also nowhere to be found either. Had someone taken you? The thought alone had his blood boiling, thinking of someone else laying their hands on you, hurting you… He shook his head, his fingers running through his hair to brush it out of his face. He couldn’t think like that. You had to be around here somewhere.

A small whimper, one that would have gone unheard if the city were alive with pre-apocalyptic sounds, cars and muffled voices would have drowned out the quiet whine that came from the alleyway that he had just walked past. Without a second thought, he turned down the alley, his legs picking up speed to carry him to where the sound had come from.

Tear stained cheeks and swollen eyes glanced up at him, but he couldn’t stop from looking at the bright red liquid that colored your hand and your shirt, dripping down your arm and pooling onto the dirty ground beneath you. “Oh my god…” Was all he managed to say as he crouched down in front of you, pulling off his jacket and pressing it against your wound.

“You came back…” You whispered, although he wasn’t sure if your voice was so low because you were trying to be quiet or if you were just losing so much blood that you were becoming weak. “Why did you come back? You could have been safe…” You continued to speak, and it’s like he could see your heart rate picking up, the blood pouring more quickly now from your wound as you got more worked up.

“Shut up.” He hissed, trying his best not to upset you, but you needed to calm down or else you’d lose too much blood, and that would mean he’d lose you, and he wasn’t about to let that happen. “You’re so stupid, why would you run off like that? Now both of us are back where we started.” He muttered, and your head dropped, but not only that, you shifted away from him, away from his touch, away from the jacket that was being used to try to stop the bleeding.

“You didn’t have to come back for me.” You mumbled, your knees curling up against your chest as if you were trying to make as much space between the two of you as physically possible. “I’m sure your good karma meter has reached the top by now, you didn’t have to come back.” He just couldn’t get things right, he just kept upsetting you, even when he wasn’t trying to. “You can leave now, I’d much rather not annoy you with my dying.”

“You seriously need to stop talking.” He urged, watching as, what could be, the remaining blood seemed to squirt from the bullet hole. “I’ll tell you why I came back, but I need to make sure you’re okay first. So just… Shut up long enough for me to try to help.” Your eyes rolled, but he didn’t really care for it, as long as they weren’t rolling to the back of your head. He could deal with your sassiness, it meant you were still alive.

He carefully got you up off the ground, making sure you were steady on your feet before leaning over in front of you. “What are you doing?” You asked, but he didn’t have time for your questions, and he knew damn well that your time was very limited, so he reached back, wrapping his arms around the bend of your knees and hoisting you up onto his back. “What the hell?!” You shrieked, but your arms immediately wrapped around him to hold on. He liked the feelings of having you close to him like this… It wasn’t intimate in any way… It was just close, and if the situation weren’t so dire, he would have loved to hear you laugh and maybe even squeal with delight as he carried you around.

“If you walk, you’ll lose even more blood. Just… take a nap… I’ve got you. I’ll keep you safe… I promise.”

///

Joshua sat in the little chair beside the bed where you were laying, it was uncomfortable, but he didn’t mind it, and it almost seemed like he had become one with the chair considering he had refused to leave as long as you were still in there.

The fact that he had managed to catch up with the group of survivors was a miracle, although the guard that he had pushed around didn’t seem very pleased at his reappearance. Once it was realized that you were injured though, one of the other guards pulled you off of Joshuas back and carried you the rest of the way.

From the moment of arrival at the “base camp”, at least that’s what they called it, he never left your side. The nurses and doctors that had been saved from nearby hospitals had all come to look at you, taking turns to make sure you were healing okay. You had lost so much blood though that they were basically telling him to say his goodbyes when you first arrived.

Still, even though you were okay, you were far from healthy. You were beyond weak, and it seemed like all you could do at this point was sleep, and while it scared the hell out of him, the doctors all tried to reassure him that sleeping was exactly what your body needed right now, especially since there wasn’t much else they could do outside the hospitals.

So he sat, and he waited, he waited for hours, days, it felt like weeks that he just sat in that chair, dozing off occasionally just to be jolted awake thinking that he heard you move only to see the doctor walking in to check on you again. He had many questions, but none of them he wanted the answers to.

A little yawn, and then the quietest curse had him opening his eyes from the little catnap that he had begun to take. You were sitting up on the makeshift hospital bed, your face in what looked to be a permanent grimace as you rolled your shoulders and tried to stretch. “It’s gonna hurt worse if you keep doing that.” He commented, finally feeling all the tension wash away from him seeing you awake.

“You’re still here…” You said, as if finally noticing that he was in the room with you. Your head tilted to the side as you looked at him, your eyes narrowed, questioning his presence.

“I’ve been here the whole time, I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”

“How long have I been sleeping?”

“Too long.” He said flatly, finally getting up from the chair and stretching. Even though he had occasionally taken a small walk around the camp, a majority of the past 3 days he had been in that chair. “How are you feeling?”

Your eyes followed him as he got closer to the side of your bed, his hand reaching out to touch yours, but hovering just above it. “Uhm… stiff… Sore… Disoriented. Why are you still here?” Your hand moved away from his, but he wasn’t scared anymore. He wasn’t going to hide his feelings from you, he wasn’t going to push you away. You were staying with him, and while he had acted so annoyed when the roles had been reversed, you were now stuck with him.

“I’m not leaving you… Ever.” He emphasized the ending, his hand coming down on top of yours and giving it a light squeeze. “Now that I know you’re okay, and we’re both safe… I shouldn’t have kept it to myself… But I need you with me. I’ve always been scared of losing you, since the second week of meeting you. Now that I’ve almost actually lost you, I never want to go through that again.” He leaned in, kissing the top of your head as his hand lingered on top of yours, his thumb brushing across your knuckles and sending goosebumps across your skin. “I’m sorry for being an asshole, I’m sorry for making you feel unwanted… I’m sorry for causing this… Will you ever forgive me?”

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narcissarina · 6 months

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𝔊𝔬𝔩𝔡𝔢𝔫 ℭ𝔞𝔤𝔢, 𝔅𝔩𝔲𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔫𝔡𝔰

જ⁀➴Previous chapter

Pairings: bodyguard!Leon × college billionaire!reader

Word count: 2,105

Tw: mentions of death, experiment, death threats

Summary: you woke up in a strange cabin, recalling the events had happen before this. Now, not knowing what next move you'd pull.

𝚅𝙸𝙸𝙸.

Your body lying against the hard ground, head spinning as you have a urge to vomit but you swallowed it in and cough out some strange liquids from your mouth. Trying to steady your focus, you sat up and look around to your surroundings—it’s unfamiliar and you’d be damned if your city had this kind of ruined room.

It looks like a cottage, ears started ringing as you winced and whined at the sudden ring and pain in your ear. You palm your ears to close and maybe the ringing would stop, it did—but it’s still painful. You had the urge to sob and call out for help, but it seems like no one is hear and no one would hear your cries.

It's almost dark, you got up and wail at the pain you have in your leg. Someone drew an X mark on your right leg, with something sharp. You wail and gripped on to your leg, it’s still bleeding a little of blood, you reckon its been a few minutes since someone cut an X in your leg.

Taking a couple of deep breaths, you focus your eyes to something that’ll wrap your injured leg—it’s not that big but it’s also not that small. Behind you was a bed, ruined and reeks urine, disgusting. It’s making you puke but you hold it on.

You limp your way to the broken cabinets, rummaging each cabinet. You could only see dead rats and spider webs in, but you’re determined to find at least one thing that could disinfect your wound and cover it some clean cloth.

Your legs gave out as you stood too long, you hiss at the pain when your injury made contact with the floor. “Fuck!” you hiss as tears burns your cheeks, you continue rummaging below the cabinet and something white shines from the corner of your eyes. It’s too far to reach, you stick your hand and cringe at whatever feeling your hand made contact with. The tip of your fingers caught it, you grab a hold of it and took it out.

“Finally! A fucking aid kit, the fuck.” You smiled at what you achieved to get, the med kit is a little dusty and dirty and, wait—is that a blood stain? Fuck it, you just rolled with it as long as it has what you need inside.

Opening the first aid kit and saw various of things that hasn’t been used yet, your wound throbs and you hiss. You took the distilled water first and dump it over the X mark on your leg, you felt something sharp inside the wound—though it wasn’t deep, you saw a light blue glow. You take the tweezer, put some alcohol with it and dry it off for a second.

Placing the tweezer to your injured leg, slowly but surely grabbing a hold of the small glowing rock. The moment it was taken out, you shudder and let out a relieved shaking sigh. You swallowed your saliva as blood splatter down your leg. Taking more distilled water and putting pressure to end the bleeding.

Once the bleeding stopped, you take the gauze bandage roll and made some folds four times and wrap it around your wound. To feel better, you made a silly but durable ribbon out of it but still left some bandage roll incase you need to change.

Your leg was shaking and you glance at the rock thing that made your wound hurt, it started to glow more and more. You wrapped it with thick clothing. Neatly folded the fabric three times and put the rock in and fold it another three more times.

There’s some bag pack that you could use and find a way to get the fuck out of here and get help, you also found a gun that’s been hidden away. You praise the man above for letting you have luck by your side.

It took a few minutes to finally get up, take the things you need and see the world outside.

It looks ruin.

You’re not in your street home.

You were taken away from your home.

Leon shot some zombies which he never thought would also be here, inspecting the room. Nothing that could help him, he did see a key from one of the zombie he just shot. That’s a first, he knelt down and quickly taken it with him and proceed to another room.

He just solved two puzzles and mystery in this mansion just keeps on stacking. It has taken him to solve it for almost thirty minutes and he would’ve just blown those puzzles with a fucking grenade for how much this place is testing his patience.

While looking for something in the area of the second library of this house, he thought to himself that this house very much value knowledge nor stories since it has a second library.

Leon swore he heard a gun shot from outside, since this place is a complete ruin and it’s been oddly too quiet that it has been eerie and uneasy about him. In the back of his mind that zombies aren’t the only thing he needs to fight in this mansion, but also mutated fucked up monsters or someone as big as the Nemesis, or something.

Grabbing a book, it’s unusual since it feels like it was attached from the back. “So, it’s like a secret room type of shit.” He curses and pulled the book as it angles to 120° angle. The ground shook for a bit as the bookshelves began to slide from each opposite sides—revealing a dark room, he took out his flashlight and flash it directly down, it has stairs. Great, he’s walking to his ultimate death.

Taking his gun to his hand while the other holds on to the light, he came down and he could hear every step he makes. It echoes the click, Leon made it to the flat surface and finds a light switch. It flashes dimly, which Leon accepted it’s enough for him to see.

There’s a desk in front of him, beside is a hospital bed and couple bodies were scattered—most of it is missing a head, one or both legs, an arm or eyeballs.

It made Leon shudder, knowing that someone or something is capable of doing such monstrous things. He wants to gag and puke, but he had seen enough—enough to twist his stomach and react to this things nonchalantly.

Leon felt a presence in the same room as him, but he didn’t bother it. Since it’s only observing him, as long as he doesn’t cause a certain movement to have the entity charge at him. He won’t be spilling crimsons in his hands again.

A few files were stacked on the desk, there’s dried blood splatter which was now normal to Leon every time he went out on a mission. He examines every file but one particular file took his attention when a piece of picture fell from it.

His heart dropped, colors from his face drained for the first time.

It was your picture.

Leon felt sick and quickly opened the document.

Experiment 106

Stable

Alive, barely.

Marked an X on her leg.

Left her in a cottage

She’s reacting, I don’t know if it’s a good sign. But we put her to sleep so we could perform the surgery and bury our most precious treasure deep part of her. We broken it to pieces and shoved it down in every muscle of her body. She was bleeding badly too, but it worked out in the end.

Manage to keep her alive, or else we are done for.

Looking forward to seeing the next result, letting the prey have it’s freedom while being unaware that the predator had started its hunt.

A distorted laugh was heard from behind him, he whips out his light and knife. A gun won’t be any use when it’s opponent is already close, the moment Leon turned, he saw the most terrifying thing he lay his eyes upon. He wanted to vomit at the ugliness and horrifying features that the monster before him has.

Adrenaline rushes through his veins, his instinct were kicking as he blocks and manage a stab of his opponent. It has a figure of a human, but it’s looks weren’t human.

The smile is has, left Leon tighten his grip to his light and weapon, the corner of it’s lips were reaching to its ear. Blood trailing down it’s lips, it was as white as ghost. Eyes were pop and wide as blood serve it’s purpose as tears.

There’s a cut from its throat, the dressing it has were bloody and torn. Leon question of this motherfucker went to a haunted house to be a scare actor. He knew it would nail it.

“sorry, dude. But I need to be on my way.” Leon said, making the entity laugh—it’s voice and laugh were distorted as if it came straight out from a movie, is B.O.W responsible for this? He asked to himself.

Almost losing it as the thing charged at him with a scream, “mother fuck!” Leon curses loud and threw himself across the room, avoiding the beast as he could. Taking his gun and shooting it a couple of few times, the bullets went through its skin and absorbs the bullet as if it’s food.

“Oh, what the fuck…” he knew he’s fucked. If he couldn’t kill a monster with a stab by a knife or a bullet from a gun. Then what could?

He needs to get to the other side of the room again, get the documents and get the fuck out of here and lock the monster in. He’d be dead if he couldn’t kill this bitch.

Leon successfully avoided most of it’s attacks, being careful not to get sliced by the sharpness of it’s hands. As if the nail and fingers in that monster were one, he took five of the files, manage to get the fuck away and lock and closed the secret door again.

It closed in time, or else Leon would be dead by now.

He breaths in and out, calming his breathing and heartbeat. Leon took a look at each file, he busy himself as the monster was screeching to be let out, chanting death threats on how it would eat Leon’s head and tear him from limb to limb. Those threats were already normal to him, he always make big enemies since he knew he has a reputation from inside the agency and outside.

Soon enough, the noise calmed down. Ears starts to ring when Leon read a particular information within your document and the other test subjects.

The used relic would be the only thing to stop the madness my brother created, the monster he created.

Name? Unknown

Very dangerous

Can’t die with a knife or a bullet from a gun.

We kept the cube inside our subjects to prevent the monster from taking it and destroying it. It made it feel weak and vulnerable, we could hear it screech from pain while my brother shouts that we should show mercy to “his” child.

I pray to God above that this madness would end and restore our humble island back to it’s glory.

This was written at the back of your file, messy and bloody handwriting it has. Making Leon feel rage and burn this island down, ditch his mission and go on to save you.

Life is shit, it targeted the only person he’s protecting. If he ever finds one of the scientists behind of all of this, he would do unspeakable and beyond humane things. Making their deaths slow and painful.

But first, Leon’s objective was to find you first.

A voice from his earpiece snapped him out of it, “I got something, Leon.”

“what is it?”

“Someone is in the island with you.”

Leon paused and nodded, “I figured.”

“How?”

“Just saw files of their twisted experiment and I know who they targeted.”

There was a long pregnant pause before the voice speaks, “who?” the voice asked.

Leon spoke your name in gritted teeth.

“Pin point her location if possible. This will be a lot trickier than I thought it would be.” The voice hum to Leon’s words.

“Good luck.”

The voice faded quickly, “Please be safe princess.” He mutters and took one or two papers with him, folded it quickly and tuck it in his pockets.

Change of plans, objective: to find and save you.

Next Chapter>>>

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gvtted-ratz · 6 months

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Mission Failed

Simon “Ghost” Riley x M!Reader x John “Soap” MacTavish

Last Edited: 17/03/2023

TW: slight angst, foul language, violence, blood, gore, gunshot wound, death mention

@denzellovehazelnuts: Hi! hope you have a good day! Can you do a poly "Ghost x male reader x Soap" (if you comfortable writing poly relationship) with slow burn, angst and fluff at the end? Where Ghost and Soap already in a relationship until the reader came into their team The two male thought the reader wasn't talkative around people but few weeks later, things change at first Ghost seems interesting in the male skill using gun and how fast he can run and Soap like the male sense of humour. Both of them thought it only a friendship type of things. Until the male save Ghost from the enemy on the battlefield and him laughing at Soap jokes. That when the two males known what happen to them, they weren't sure if M/n would comfortable in a relationship with them, so they start doing small things for him like making coffee or helping training,.. And M/n notice it, he even started to fall for the both of them. But he keep denying the things they did for him because he thought that what friend do. and M/n don't think he is ready for a new relationship, he wasn't sure he is good enough for them (the male got trauma from the previous relationships) (more angst please, I would like to suffer for a little bit) (・∀・) After a while, the three of them got into a mission together, everything went good until the male got shot. He thought he going to be de@d soon (only to find out that he only got shot at his leg) so M/n confessed how he feel about the two of them. (andddd I don't know what to do with the ending cause I'm ran out of idea. I would want to see how the treated each other when got into a relationship. Sorry about the grammar, English isn't my first language)

Word Count: 2,654

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes: hiiii! i dont do heavy angst but i did do some u know? slow burn it is!!! srry it took so long! irl things hold me back a lot. N since u wanted slow burn, n with all that uve put (about 350 words of things i can work on/with 2 get this drawn out as a full-on fic!! yay!) i had 2 like. try n put all u wanted in there so yea! hope u enjoy!! also! i threw in some other characters like gaz n roach. hope u dont mind em being in here since this is like, a mash of cod n codmw2 (canon? what cancon?) cause i rlly do wanna put some other characters in here that i find interesting n build some sort of character/personality 4 the reader. reader deserves some cool friends-2-brothers!

At first, you hadn’t wanted to join Task Force 141. You were comfortable with your position as the quiet, but light on your feet, knife specialist. Well, that wasn’t truly your title. You were just good with knives. You weren’t too shotty with a gun either. Either weapon being in your hands meant blood was going to be shed. KorTac needed those types, especially those who could use it to get in as well as out; you also couldn’t forget about using your skills to get information. Torturing the prisoners wasn’t something you particularly liked, but you were good at it too. Combining your skills with knives and guns, it truly was hell for anyone on the opposite side of your team. You also couldn’t forget that, out of the others, you were much faster. Sure, some could still beat you at times but that didn’t mean you weren’t good. Bets had been constantly taking place with you, along with others as it was one of the few things any of you could do to pass the time in a less-than-bloody manner.

The transfer from KorTac to Task Force 141 wasn’t smooth. Horangi, or Kim Hong-jin, didn’t let you go for weeks. You were part of his team, one of his men. The leader of KorTac is what most of you saw him as. He knew many of you like the back of his hand. Not to mention, a tiger can be cruel but would never devour its cubs for no reason, well, as some say. As far as you knew, because you were all together, you were a team and therefore family. While there were others who didn’t get along, out in the field, all of you had each other’s back. Very rarely did anyone get left to perish to the enemy.

With all that in mind, it took weeks for him to let you go. More or less, Laswell was the one to convince him; that is if you call bringing each plus every person in KorTac to ruins as “convincing”. She wanted you on a team she could keep tabs on you; doubting her power and skills was out of the question. Which meant leaving KorTac to ensure that everyone else was free from possible imprisonment or death was necessary.

Fitting in wasn’t too hard considering most of the people there were from all over the place. While it’s odd for a member from another team to suddenly appear on another, it didn’t bother most of the others. Just from a glance, you could tell who was into who; as well as who exactly was in a relationship. A man by the name of Ghost including another called Soap, you knew were together. Soap flirted with almost everyone, though it was more teasing and lighthearted. With Ghost though? The flirting went up by twenty percent. His dial for teasing went up tenfold too. Meanwhile, Ghost hardly looked at anyone else, nevertheless, stare at them unless they were the Scottish man. Frankly, you didn’t mind. Who were you to judge the two? Especially when they were good at what they did.

It takes weeks before you’re comfortable enough to so much as talk to anyone 141. Gaz, or Kyle as Soap tended to call him when annoyed, is the first to so much as approach you. While the others are interested, you coming from KorTac had put them off for a bit. Gaz on the other hand treats you like a brother. He’ll throw his arm around your shoulder, dragging you around as he laughs about the past or even at your jokes. At meals, he always throws a raised eyebrow at those who look at you oddly when you’re quiet or sitting with the man. He treats you like you’re part of the team, furthermore, that truly means more than anything to you.

The man is just as bloodthirsty as you are. His stories of falling out of planes along with taking out enemies only lead to you looking up to your new teammate and brother. His tales of meeting Captain Price, past missions, a few tidbits of him being with the SAS, together with some metals he’s earned, only makes you want to pry more stories from the man; not like you don’t have to try. Simply asking about his stories leads to at least an hour-long spill of them from the guy.

And with his stories comes a few of your own. You don’t share much of them, knowing Gaz spreads them to the rest of the team with more dramatics to try to get you to interact with the others. Something you do learn about him that you always keep in mind from his stories is that his blood type is B Negative and shooting any dog, wild or not, makes him feel a bit guilty; he had to shoot one a while ago and apologised to the poor mutt after having to put it down to finish his mission.

With all that he’s shared and how the both of you see each other as brothers, it’s only fair that you let yourself talk to the others in the team. Though your words are short, along with your jokes being told quickly to distract yourself from the stressful situations, you allow yourself to slowly relax with the others. Gaz’s constant support helps you finally allow yourself to bond with your new team and family. It’s only after a mission that things change.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“Take the left! Keep your heads down and keep movin’!” Captain Price’s voice rings out in your earpiece. Everything has gone to shit. The intel you’ve been getting was entirely a trap. You’re running through an underground tunnel, Ghost and another man named Roach is running in front of you.

Roach is a quiet man, never talking or letting out a sound, but semi-friendly. From his actions and what you’ve been told of him, he does his best to complete the missions to the tea. The few interactions you’ve had with him were silent but nice. Whether or not he’s mute has crossed your mind time and mind again but you don’t ask; you’d rather leave the man be. After all, he has become something like a friend maybe even another brother.

“Copy. We’re nearly out. Roach and [Redacted] are with me,” Ghost responds, quickening his pace. The rifle smacks against your back as you speed up to keep up with the other two men. Despite the situation, the three of you remain as calm as you can be.

“You’re bein’ tracked like a rabbit is by a hound, Ghost! Move it!” The captain’s orders are clear and the worry is read between the lines. If you three don’t get out, it’s a huge blow to 141. Not only that, but Soap loses his boyfriend, Gaz loses two of his best friends as well as brothers, you three lose your lives, and Task Force 141 loses three of its members. Dying isn’t an option here.

“We have company,” Your words are muffled by your gear but the two soldiers in front of you hear them in their own pieces.

“Fuckin’ hell-” Ghost’s sentence gets cut off by gunfire from behind. Turning around, you fire the Lachmann Sub in your possession.

“We gotta go! They’re gaining!” You clip one of the enemies in the shoulder and another is hit in the stomach. Picking up the speed, the three of you try to beat them out of the tunnel. You cover the back, hoping the two get out before you. If you get surrounded, it’s over.

Thankfully, they haven’t reached the other end of the tunnel as the three of your burst out of the exit. You grab a grenade, pull the pin and throw it in the tunnel. As soon as it leaves your hands, you’re running faster to get to Roach and Ghost before anything else can; one arm wraps around each of your teammates’ necks, dragging them down to the ground as the little metal bomb goes off. Debris flies everywhere, looking for an area to land after being shot out of its place.

With the tunnel exist now collapsed along with no more flying rock and metal, you release the men. “How copy?” Crackles through each of your earpieces. You knock your forearm into Roach’s upper arm, eyes crinkling from your smile. He gives you a grateful nod, standing. You smack Ghost’s arm as he stands, glad to have escaped the enemies for now.

“Tunnel’s collapsed. We’re good. Ready for extraction, Sir,” Blunt and straight to the point are the skull-masked man’s words.

“Good. Heli’s close by. Move to the edge of the town.” With the three of you alive, you can practically feel Captain Price’s relief.

“Copy that, Captain,” Your muffled response comes before Ghost can send in his own. He scans you from the corner of his eye but doesn’t give you a retort. You do, however, hear a small huff of air leave him. You throw your arm around Roach’s neck again, puffs of air leaving you from happiness, meanwhile, his arm comes around your back. Seems the three of you live another day.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

After that mission, Ghost tends to lurk around you more than he originally had. It didn’t help that Soap tends to tag along as well. Thankfully, he finds your jokes hilarious if the loud, boisterous laughter he lets out all the time tells you anything. His teasing ends up piling onto you as well. Before, it was light as well as spread out. Now, it’s almost like he’s talking to Ghost with all the teasing and flirting he now does with you. His boyfriend hardly seems concerned but rather encourages his behaviour. Of course, that doesn’t mean he goes easy on you when the two of your spar together. He’s dead serious when it comes to sparring; it’s only a reminder that while he does good off, he’s just as dangerous as the rest of them.

The two men seem to be fixated on wanting to help you out in training as well. More pointers plus tips are thrown your way when you practice with either of them. Sometimes, they’ll even make you coffee for those sleepless nights. Mentioning such things to Gaz and Roach only leads to your sworn brothers giving you knowing looks or a few teasing words; Gaz is the one with the teasing remarks while Roach pats your shoulder in a mocking but teasing “you poor man” way. Neither seems keen on wanting to spill the tea on why the Scottish and British men have been more affectionate.

While you enjoy their kind gestures, including their company, you’re not sure if you’re ready to admit to yourself, or them, about such feelings or relationships. On the surface, you truly do want to ask them if this is some sort of flirting schtick they have going on. Deep down though, the idea of being with anyone again makes your stomach fill with the lead. How could you enter another relationship? After the last one ended with your soon-to-be fiance’s brains splattered all over a brick wall. How can you move past that? How can you allow yourself to find someone like them? Or even better than them? The answer to that is a sigh alongside a bitter smile. The ring hiding under your tactical gloves seems to burn your skin. Truly, how can you let your first love go? After all, if you weren’t good enough to keep them alive, how can you keep these two from meeting the same gorey end?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“To think I’d find myself here… How fuckin’ funny,” You mumble. Another mission, this one just like all the others. Well, it would have been if you hadn’t been shot. The blood leaking from your leg alongside a knife wound to your side leave you in pain. Feeling weak isn’t something uncommon but neither is it constantly happening. Words are being spoken to you through your headset. You were to be the lookout but ended up being the enemy's first target.

“How copy?” Rings in your ears. Your eyes stare blankly in front of you. You feel pathetic. Too tired to talk. Too tired to get up. You just sit, popped up against a tree in the heavily wooded area. You’ve failed, failed, failed.

“C’mon, Mate, how do ya copy?” Soap’s voice is worried and winded. He and Ghost are the people you’ve been teamed up with and you’ve failed.

“[Redacted], how copy?” The next tone is Ghost’s. It sounds slightly strained.

“Mission Failed,” You croak, head tilted back and against the tree.

“Status report, Mate. Where are ya?” He’s rushing, possibly panicked now.

“Got two wounds. Gunshot to the thigh. Knife to the side. Bleeding pretty bad, Soap.” You close your eyes, sighing.

“State your location.” The Brit seems to be just as worried as his Scottish counterpart.

“Dunno. Woods. Against a tree… There’s a lot of blood. Feelin’ woozy.” When you open your eyes, your sight is blurred. You’re losing too much blood.

“Keep talkin’ to us then, yeah? You’ll make it out. We’ll get out together,” The Scot’s words, though hopeful, only make you scoff quietly.

“You know… If I get outta here… Think we can go out sometime? Bourbon and whiskey? The three of us?”

“When we get out, [Redacted]. There’s no if here,” The masked man makes it sound final like there’s no way you’ll die on them.

“Yeah… Yeah..” You don’t say anymore, everything slowly hazing away. It’s like your floating in winter with how cold you feel.

“[Redacted]? Don’t sleep! C’mon! Keep ya eyes open!” Soap’s words fade away along with everything else. All that waits is cold darkness.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“So… Think you can handle our drinking date after this?” Soap perches on the side table, messing with a lighter he took from Ghost.

“After he’s healed, Johnny. No alcohol before,” A semi-scolding is all the man gets from the brooding Ghost. You laugh slightly, jostling your wounds. You wince but wave off the concerned looks you get.

“After I’m no longer full of holes, Johnny-boy.” You take a sip of water afterwards, making Soap frown playfully.

“And to think I was gonna bring out the good shit fer ya. A shame. A damn shame.” You gently shake your head. It was a close call but Ghost got to you before you completely bled out. From what you’ve been told by Gaz, who yelled at you for an hour after you woke up from your four-day sleep, Ghost and Soap dragged you back to the helicopter. Both refused to leave your side. Captain Price ended up having to yell at the men and bribe them with a bit of alcohol to get them to even go to their own rooms. You made sure to apologize to Gaz, hugging him tightly after his blow-up. He thought he was going to lose a friend and family member so you couldn’t blame him.

Roach gave you the cold should for a while before appearing in your room with a cup of coffee. He made sure to smack the back of your head for your stupidity as well, though it was hardly rough. You grabbed the man before he could so much as bolt though when he saw you getting up to hug him. He hadn’t pushed you away though. And the captain? It felt like you were a kid again with how he pinned you with his stare. He made sure to tell you exactly how he felt, going from angry, to disappointed, to angry again. Another guy you couldn’t blame anything on. But you get to live another day at least. And you get to have that date with the two guys who were able to grab ahold of your heart after a long-time of heartache and loss.

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