#typed this whole thing up and then tumbLR ATE THE REPLY

[caspira-writes-fanfiction]

GIT BEVVER SWOON :( : CHAPTER 2

Chapter 1 [a03] [[tumblr]]

His head hurt. Before his eyes were even open or he really knew he was awake he knew one thing for certain: his head hurt. His face hurt too. He raised a hand up to his jaw to feel the familiar feeling of sting that came along with a bruise. Had he been fighting last night? He stretched and tried blinking himself awake. The room was bright, he was on the sofa. There was music playing quietly, Loona was awake. It smelled like toast, she’d made breakfast.

The world spun as Blitz pushed himself upright. He put his head in his hands and took a deep breath. He was alive, he knew that. His face throbbed with each heartbeat. He wasn’t so sure he’d consider himself lucky for that. Blitz had never been particularly lucky, though.

Blitz fell off the sofa as he stretched again, landing face first onto the floor. He let himself lay there for a few moments before he tried pushing himself up. Maybe he wasn’t ready to face the day. What the hell had happened last night?

“You’re awake.” Loona was standing in the doorway to her bedroom. Blitz had herd her footsteps but he hadn’t heard the door open. Had she left it cracked open? She never did that.

Blitz groaned in response. He didn’t protest as he was peeled off the floor and put back on the sofa. A few moments later he could smell coffee. There was a mug sitting next to a glass of water on the table. Blitz smiled up at his daughter.

“Loonie, you made me coffee?”

She didn’t growl or bite, but she did glare at Blitz. “I made everyone coffee. That’s just the last of it.”

Blitz reached for the mug and took a sip. It was horrible, he loved it. “Burnt and strong, just how I like it!” It took him longer to pick up on the fact that Loona had said everyone. More people were here. “What do you mean everyone?”

Loona nodded towards the window that overlooked the street they’d parked on. Blitz got up to look outside. Mox & Mills were standing in front of the van. Blitz couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it looked incredibly boring. Moxxie was reading a bottle of something, it looked like him and Millie were arguing about something that was printed on the bottle. The two of them were elbow deep in black rubber gloves, both of them wearing junk clothes and bandannas to cover their hair. The door to the van was closed but that didn’t stop Blitz from seeing blood stains and feathers flash in front of his eyes.

Thankfully, he’s distracted a moment later by eggs: two of them sunny side up with a bacon smile and toast on the side. Blitz’s eyes grew wide and sparkly once more. Loonie,did you make me breakfast?!”

“No.” She was quick to reply. “Moxxie made you breakfast. They showed up a few hours ago and had me carry your ass inside.”

Blitz didn’t know if he should be ashamed or proud. Loona shouldn’t be responsible for him like that, but she’d cared enough to bring him inside, put a blanket over him, and get him some water. She might be the one thing he hadn’t fucked up.

As he began to remember pieces of the night before, he felt the sinking hollow of guilt grow from his chest. He ate the eggs and bacon in two bites. Swallowing bacon whole with a bruised jaw was just the type of pain that could distract him from feeling things like guilt and shame.

“You should probably take some pain killers. You look like shit, Dad.” The use of the D word did not fall short on Blitz. In this moment he felt proud. She really was the one thing he hadn’t fucked up.

Before he could respond with sickeningly gaudy affection, Blitz was once again distracted by what was going on outside. M&M’s body language had changed. Blitz scurried to the window and hopped onto the fire escape as quietly as he could. He hid low and stayed still as he tried to listen in on what his friends were talking about.

“Maybe we should just reupholster the back.” Moxxie handed the bottle he’d been holding back over to his wife.

“With what money?” Her tone wasn’t angry. They were disagreeing, but they weren’t mad at each other. They were fervent, but not irate.

“If we could just find some fabric, maybe I could try. I reupholstered our chair last season!”

Millie’s face didn’t look entirely convinced. She took a deep breath, smiled, and reached up to pat between Moxxie’s horns. “You’ve got a sweet heart, baby.”

The two of them smiled at each other but only for a moment. There was a heaviness between them. They both sighed at the same time.

“This wasn’t our fault, you know.” Millie reassured her husband. They’d had this conversation multiple times since Blitz sped away from them last night. “We did everything we could. And you heard on the news today, they were able to save him. We got there at the right time. Stolas will be okay.”

“I know.” Moxxie sighed. There was silence for a few moments. “But why the fuck did Blitz use bleach?! It completely ruins the reaction with Blood-Away. It eats away at the fabric. He knows this!” It was easier to deflect than to address the weight of the situation. Moxxie had been worrying about Blitz all night, both him and Millie had been.

“Mox. You know he wasn’t thinking straight.” Millie stepped closer and pressed her forehead against Moxxie’s. They stilled, comforted by each other. Neither of them smiled. “He was scared, baby. It’s Stolas.”

Moxxie nodded. “Yeah, I know.” They had been worried about Stolas too. He pulled away from the embrace and stripped his gloves off. He tossed them in the open front window and nodded towards the apartment building. “Come on. We’ve done what we can here. Let’s go check in upstairs.”

Blitz scrambled back inside as Millie followed Moxxie’s lead.

He wasn’t sure if he was convincing or not as he leaned against the counter, sipping his coffee. He’d crashed through the window and knocked over more than one thing in the process. While he waited for his friends to arrive, his mind was fixated on what Millie had said. Stolas will be okay. It had been in the news. Blitz hadn’t thought about the news. He set his coffee down and scrambled towards the living room to grab the remote. He could hear the front door open, he turned the TV on.

“Oh, you’re awake!” It was Millie. Blitz did his best to look like he wasn’t expecting them when he turned his head.

“How are you feeling, Sir?” Moxxie asked hesitantly.

“Oh, great. M&M’s here!” Blitz was genuinely happy to see them, but everything stung a bit too much to show it. “Why the fuck is nobody working today?”

Blitz noticed how Moxxie’s eye twitched as Blitz raised his voice, but Millie didn’t seem to notice at all. She continued to make herself comfortable in Blitz’s apartment, there was no waver in her voice as she spoke in reply.

“We’re closed today.” She jumped over the back of the couch and landed on the cushion next to Blitz. She placed a gentle hand against his arm and gave him and easy smile. “Family emergency.”

Blitz felt something in his chest when he realized that Millie had just referred to Blitz as family. Millie, with a thousand siblings and loving parents just one ring down, called Blitz her family. His eyes sparkled again, he might have very well cried if he hadn’t been distracted by the news reporter’s voice coming from the television a moment later.

“And now, an update from the Royal Goetia Family. Yesterday evening reporters covered the story of demon royalty, Prince Stolas of the Ars Goetia. Prince Stolas was rushed to to the Sloth Ring where he was admitted to Hell’s only level 1 trauma hospital, where he remains. Prince Stolas suffered multiple injuries by use of celestial weapons. The Prince was last seen earlier yesterday having brunch with his wife and brother-in-law when they were disturbed by ‘a rugged cowboy type’ and the Prince was kidnapped. There have been no reports on the kidnapper at large. The Royal Family has made a statement about the Prince’s condition. They report that Prince Stolas is stable, but remains in critical care. The family asks for privacy at this difficult time, so that the prince can make a full and speedy recovery.”

Blitz’s tail was trembling, it was the only sign of emotion he showed as he watched the report. Stolas will be okay. He had to keep reminding himself that. Stolas was strong, he would be fine. M&M had gotten to him in the right amount of time. He wasn’t going to die. It was still his fault, but Stolas wasn’t dead.

“How about we watch something else?” Millie asked as she took the remote from Blitz. She started flipping through the TV guide. The only thing that caught Blitz’s attention was the Horse Love marathon.

“Really, Sir?” Moxxie asked as he returned to the sofa after putting Blitz’s cleaning supplies away. Millie glared at her husband and motioned for him to actually look at Blitz.

His eyes were on the screen, tail almost wagging and body still. He wasn’t remembering the pain or the guilt or the blood. The throbbing in his jaw was negligible compared to the comfort he got from these shitty horse movies. He was distracted, that was a good thing. Moxxie sighed and rolled his eyes.

“We can stay for the first three.” The first movie was already nearly half over when they tuned in.

“But the Horse Love 4 is the best one!”

Moxxie rolled his eyes. “Maybe.”

Millie pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa off and wrapped it around Blitz. Moxxie returned to the kitchen to get snacks. Millie called for Loona and the two of them exchanged a series of looks before Loona conceded and joined them. She sat on the floor in front of the couch and kept one earbud in throughout the movies, but she stayed. Moxxie returned with popcorn, ice cream, and pain killers. He and Millie sat on the opposite sides of Blitz. They stayed for four movies and ordered a pizza when it got dark out.

Family Emergency. Blitz had a family.

It had been lifetimes since the last time he’d been able to think that statement true.

[cheetour]

thank you for your advice. i was reading complex ptsd due to abuse that occured as a child which flared up big time again losing my social network. i will try to read these other documents, ive been trying to talk to others locally but its hard, not a lot of spaces for people like me it feels

I typed a reply to this and tried to post it, and tumblr ate it, and it's gone... I promise I wasn't ignoring it! (I reblogged this post thinking I'd just responded to your ask... but apparently I hadn't.... alas...)

Complex PTSD and losing a whole social network are two horrible things to happen to any human being. It sucks to fight through - feels weird and doubt-filled and overwhelming. But you are not the first person, and you will not be the last -- someday this will all be a memory, and you will be so proud you survived it. Promise.

[skania]

Replies to OnK Asks #2

I have enough for another round of replies, so let's go!

If you sent me an anon message these past two days, the answer should be below the cut! If it isn't then I either missed it or Tumblr ate your message, please don't hesitate to message me again if that's the case

Just in case, there are spoilers for Chapter 123 below the cut!

Hang in there anon! Even if Ruby has grown, Sarina's love for Goro is basically frozen in time. I'm sure that if Sarina had had the chance to grow older, her love for Goro would've naturally transitioned into something more age appropriate. As it is though, it was born within the bubble of her hospital room where Goro was one of the only two good things she had in her life, and then Ruby continued to nurture it through the years by desperately hoping she may come across him again.

For years, Goro has been her romanticized, idealized, impossible first love. So when she finds out that Aqua is Goro, she isn't thinking This is inappropriate, he is my brother! She is instinctively reacting the same way Sarina would've reacted to reuniting with Goro. Ruby needs time to process her feelings.

I also think that Sarina's feelings for Goro were the innocent kind of love where a child is like: This person makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside! I want to be with them forever! We should get married!

So eventually, I'm sure Ruby will realize that being Aqua's sister is perfect, because this way they already are forever bonded to each other.

People are saying that? They're really trying to find every possible reason under the sun to hate on her 😂 I think one valid critique would be to say that Akane made that offer while not being sure of her own feelings/thinking Aqua had no feelings for her, but... how is that worth hating her? If I didn't love Akane, I'd have just felt sad for her—hating her would've never crossed my mind lol

I mean, I'm not sure we can generalize. But from what I've seen, people ship just as hard there as we do over here, it's just that they're better at separating fandom from canon. If the ship they like doesn't happen, they usually won't go on a public tirade against the work—they may criticize it a bit in their own corner, but usually they just continue shipping their thing in peace.

All in all though, Aka doesn't seem like the type to do what people want him to do. I believe he will do whatever he feels works best for the story he wants to tell lol

Ohhh that's interesting! In the few months that Ruby spent on Revenge Mode, she did show more ruthlessness than Aqua would be capable of, so maybe you're right and Crow Girl would've ideally wanted Ruby to be the one carrying it out.

Crow Girl is 100% right though, Aqua just isn't cut for revenge. He is too soft-hearted, too kind. He may be fine with everyone hating him, but he won't be fine with anyone but him suffering, so he is doomed to fail lol

Thank you anon!! You have a good day, too!

Manga Plus!

Off the top of my head: flustered Aqua, whenever he makes Akane pout, Akane trying to feed him, Aqua getting caught-off-guard when Akane can tell he wants to talk about breaking up, the whole do-you-have-that-kind-of-feelings-for-me? talk and Akane teasing him when he comes to pick her up with the umbrella are some of their funniest moments for me 😂

Yes!! You have a very good point anon, Aqua's and Akane's reconciliation is being saved for later. It's just like the next Akane volume cover, the fact that we haven't gotten one yet shows that we will be getting some nice Akane chapters in the future.

Thanks anon, I'm glad you see it too! Maybe I'm jumping the gun, but in all honesty after Chapter 123 I now have a hard time picturing Aqua's feelings for Kana as romantic. Kana's are the wild card, since hers have always been portrayed as romantic. We'll have to wait and see but so far, she seems to be following in Maki's (Kaguya-Sama) steps lol

I'm glad that Akane Kurokawa is Akane Kurokawa. She is one and only.

Well said anon, me too!!

I think the difference is that Kana's "radiance" comes from her genuine feelings. When she feels down, she can't shine. When she is happy, she shines brightly like the sun.

That's indeed the reason why she was only able to shine as an idol while Aqua was there. He was the reason she became an idol in the first place, and he's also the one she performed for; the one she wanted looking at her.

So while Ai (mostly) shone through the character she carefully constructed for herself, Kana shines due to her true feelings.

I do think that some readers aren't particularly interested in understanding him. At the same time, I get it because not everyone is reading OnK with the desire to analyse it. Some people just read it/watch it for fun and without paying much attention, which is perfectly fine although perhaps not exactly the best approach to Aka's writing lol

It's fine though, the person Aqua is will be pretty obvious by the end of the manga, so anyone who has missed it so far will surely get it by then!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, anon! I agree with a lot of what you're saying, and to answer your question:

do you really think Goro like Sarina in a romantic ways?

No, I don't! There's no chance of Goro liking Sarina romantically, he saw her like an innocent child and treated her as such. There's no ambiguity there at all, his "I'll think about it when you're 16" was just a round-about way of turning her down while gently reminding her of their age-gap. They both knew that Sarina likely wouldn't make it to 16, so I believe it was also Goro's way of trying to make both, himself and Sarina, imagine a future where Sarina was still alive. It's so sad 😭

And yes, the fact that Akane is so different is a great thing! She's also the only one that doesn't seem to have family issues, so there's even less for Aqua to project onto her. The obvious exception being when Akane temporarily lost the will to live, since Aqua likely could empathize 😭

You're absolutely right anon! For some people, it's like the Aqua/Akane relationship jumped from Chapter 30 to Chapter 98 with absolutely nothing in between—except for Chapter 81 and 87, but even then, only two panels count. The rest doesn't matter 😂

And it's not like there aren't alternative ways to interpret their relationship without ignoring everything that's happened between them and all their development. Hell, they could even say: yeah Akane almost got him, but failing to understand that Aqua just needed her by her side cemented her loss. She lost her chance—or something, and it would be a perfectly valid take! But some people just can't acknowledge that Aqua and Akane have a genuine, meaningful bond because they either a) want Aqua to be an edgelord b) want Aqua to only have eyes for their girl of choice.

Luckily, this willful denial of Aqua and Akane's bond can't change what's written in the manga lol

[quantumshade]

I’ll just never to be able to be pissed at River Song’s ubiquity. Crammed into at least one work of every single incarnation. Like. Moffat saw the power of Rose Marion Tyler and immediately needed to be like NO MY DOLL IS BETTER AND IS THE BEST ACTUALLY. LOOK AT AND LISTEN TO HER ALL THE TIME FOREVER.

I truly feel like the two are masterclasses in how to write a good female character versus how to. Not.

I will forever be so fucking mad.

i’m going to fucking cry i had the whole reply typed out and then the tumblr app glitched and ate it. anyway. let’s talk about river song.

here’s the thing. i like to put river into what me and my mutuals call “the salad spinner”. one of these bad boys:

where you put in your soaking wet lettuce or whatever and press the button on top and it goes WHHSHSHHHHHHSHHHSSSHHH and all the water drains out? yeah i’m putting moffat’s river in there and draining out all the sexism and weird fetishes and she becomes the character that she always could have been.

like, she’s a bisexual time traveling crime committing archeologist. of course i fell in love with her age ten. the “mercy” scene in the big bang was a sexual awakening for me. the scene in THORS where she’s like “i’m an archeologist from the future. i dug you up.” is in no small part responsible for me getting a minor in archeology. river’s a really important character to me, but the more i grew up, the worse her storyline and origins got to me.

and then in early 2021, i had a revelation. the one step you have to take to fix just about everything about river.

make her NOT amy and rory’s kid.

that’s it. that’s all you have to do. it fixes so many of my issues with the story immediately.

my friend @nounpolycule has much more developed headcanons about this based on the audios (and maybe she’ll explain them when he gets the chance?? 👀), but river as a completely unrelated child taken by the silence who grew up in that environment before escaping and running as far as she could is so much more compelling to me than “amy and rory’s kid who is also their childhood best friend”. she escapes the silence, makes a life of her own, puts herself through school, and becomes an archeologist. in this situation, the first time she meets him (in her timeline) is less “i am programmed to kill you and nothing else matters” and more “you showed up in my doctoral thesis research and dude. you’re REAL? the fuck?”

i really like river’s personality, and most of that is thanks to the depth that alex kingston gives her. river would not be nearly as important to me with a different actor; kingston is just incredibly talented and she loves river and she loves playing her, and she gave so much more to the character than moffat ever did.

like you said, moffat notoriously hates rose and originally wanted river to be “better” than her, but he twisted himself around so much and ended up neglecting river just as much as he did rose. according to alex kingston, moffat was the ONLY writer allowed to put river in episodes. no one else could use her but him. a big part of it is “my doll is better than yours!!!” except at the end of recess his doll is left out in the mud, forgotten entirely. he didn’t even believe that she was the best, didn’t care about her at all past her relationship to the doctor, and you can tell!

river deserved better from the narrative from the beginning.

and she and rose should kiss send post

[voxofthevoid]

hello, I am here again to throw happy confetti at you for your wip wednesdays. primarily:

omg not the infinity over the butthole!!! ahah, gojou's such a tease. actually though, ever since that one recent manga chapter where yuuji just knows sensei's got his cursed technique up, even at a distance, I've been craving more content that plays around with infinity in their one-on-one interactions. so I was very excited to see this lol. I'll also say that it was super intriguing to see the word count split up by acts! and each excerpt was *chef's kiss* as always. I am so eager to see the kidnapping fic in its full glory. thank you again for sharing these <3

(I typed up a whole reply to this and then Tumblr fucking ate it. Round 2. Hellsite.)

^ me rn (ignoring the Tumblr-directed rage)

I was cackling while writing the scene with Infinity over the asshole, even if the scene itself had a wholly different tone, and I'm delighted you find it funny! I'm in the same boat about Gojou's use of Infinity when it comes to Yuuji; I've been rabid about it since Episode 3, when Gojou lets Yuuji hug him and rub their faces together (MAPPA, I owe you my life), and the "give it to me" panel just made me more insane about the whole thing. I've been working it into pretty much every fic, I write, and I'll probably continue doing that, but Infinity: Literal Asshole Edition may remain my best work 🤣

And thank you so much!! I might start posting it in August or September (if you can hear disembodied screaming in the wind, ignore it; it's only my common sense's death throes), depending on when I finish it.

By my current estimate, I have 4 chapters left to write and 1 chapter to rewrite. The total will come up to 18 chapters minimum, and at my one-chapter-a-month pace, it'll still take me 1.5 years to post the whole thing, assuming there will be no interruptions. I'd like to get started as soon as I can in that case, but between the a/b/o role reversal (6 chapters), the de-aged Gojou series (17 chapters across 3 fics), and the time travel threesome (8 chapters), my JJK schedule is already full for at least half a year. I could wedge one more fic in, but it'll involve prodding at my overall posting schedule. Let's see!

Thanks again!!

[cantstayawaycani]

Can’t Stay Away’s Fic Rec Friday #1 (04.14.23) - ilangatye by @dittany-6413

Title: ilangatye (ao3)

Author(s): Dittany_6413 (ao3) | @Dittany_6413 (Tumblr)

Fandom(s): Black Panther Wakanda Forever

Pairing/Ship(s): Namor x Shuri

Type: Canon Compliant | Post BPWF | Enemies to Loves | Hurt/Comfort

Rating: Mature

Status: Work In Progress

Updated: 04.12.23

Summary: ilangatye - flame (Xhosa) | “Do you remember our conversation, princess? Exactly one year ago from today?” asked Namor. | “Of course,” replied Shuri, “we called each other cowards.” | Namor chuckled lightly, “That’s a deep cut, but it was true,” | Three years after the battle, Shuri sought reconciliation, and Namor sought to control. Instead, they found themselves surrendering.

Why I Love It: I often discover things like this late at night when I can’t sleep and I can’t stop fantasizing. This was a welcome relief to pass the time I spent in insomnia some nights ago.

I ate the whole thing up in a couple of hours read time. It’s one of the most mature explorations of this dynamic between film canon Shuri and Namor as they exist after the events of BPWF. While everyone can reasonably acknowledge that in real life, the idea of falling in love with the person who took the life of your mother is not rationally justifiable, those of us who can see a way for fictional characters to come around to it do appreciate the sensible approach.

You can ignore the un-sensible and suspend disbelief in most cases, but when you are presented with something that comes close to making sense in the world of fiction, it leaves room for unburdened enjoyment. This story does that. It unburdens the reader the same way it unburdens Shuri. Nothing is gone. Grief, sadness, anger, disgust – it’s all there. But as a human tends to do with lesser stakes in real life, so does a well-written character do with more dramatic stakes in a narrative. So does Shuri here. She connects, she learns, she grows. Namor is a calculating God, who gives Shuri what she wants under the guise of manipulation, but if you read between the lines drawn here, the author is actually telegraphing the nature of his true feelings and motivations for yielding to Shuri in more ways than just in the ways of war and diplomacy. He loves her, and will make himself weak in the eyes of his people for her, understanding that together they will be stronger. I would classify this as a slow burn, not in the traditional way you may think.

It’s calm, it’s introspective, it’s thorough, it takes itself seriously in how it handles the subject, but it knows what it is: fictional, hypothetical, fantastical. The characters have arcs you can track. Give it a chance, go on the journey. Follow the author’s updates here on Tumblr.

ilangatye

[seekingthestars]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND, MR LEE SEOKMIN omg yes :DDDD

there are lots of rambles and pictures and links so. under the cut! :D

First! Before I ramble! This is a very cute interview he did for Get In The Car in July of last year! almost 11 minutes of him being a whole entire sun, bless okay now onwards to my rambles!

His birth name is Lee Seokmin, stage name is DK / Dokyeom. Birthday is February 18, 1997 (and fun fact, he shares a birthday with Vernon! same day, different year. they are the 218 bros c: picture below is from their birthday livestream this year!) He's a member of the Vocal Unit and is main vocal, a member of BSS (BooSeokSoon, a subunit with Seungkwan, DK, and Hoshi / i also believe he's leader of BSS!), and member of svt's 97 line with Mingyu and THE8/Xu Minghao (HEY BUDDY from Semicolon is a 97 line song!). and he has an older sister (three years older i believe)!

He debuted as a musical actor in 2019 in the musical Xcalibur in the lead role as King Arthur! He was also on King of Masked Singer as "Baby Demon" and made it to the third round 💪

He's VERY LOUD LOLOLOL this is a fun story, but they were at a music show during Don't Wanna Cry era and BAP was in the waiting room next to them. DK was practicing his part for the live ("If I cry now, I may never see you again") over and over stupid early in the morning and Daehyun from BAP sent them a voice message going "STOP CRYING!!!!!" also I think I read somewhere that he collects headphones? and he has a really big collection of them!

Dokyeom is a PURE RAY OF SUNSHINE, just absolute sunshine in a bottle, he is the most adorable 🥺 the members call him pure, he's just a huge sweetheart 😭 during the online concert they had in January, there was a part during encore where they played a recording of fans singing svt's special song "us, again" to them, and Dokyeom just CRIED so much, Dino and DK were the only ones who cried, sweet boys, they made me cry 😭

He loves dogs!!! He loves doggos so much 😭💘 this video compilation is svt with dogs, but 70% of it is DK, it's so freaking cute i wanna perish, he loves doggos and doggos love HIM

his favorite food is PIZZA. the boy LOVES PIZZA. he had his own pizza-making vlive, he talks about pizza all the time, he just loves pizza. in US/English interviews he has taken to introducing himself as "Pizza Boy" and/or that time in that one Buzzfeed interview when he goes "HI MY FAVORITE FOOD IS PIZZA" and forgets to introduce himself, LOVE HIM. (both of those clips are in previous linked video!!) (and did you notice his birthday cake in that picture was PIZZA SHAPED)

more fun facts, Jeonghan recently adopted a pet rock (named Doljjong) and the rest of the members were like. teasing him mercilessly for it. but dokyeom, the SUNSHINE BEAM OF A HUMAN BEING, went to visit it and took pictures with it, and then BOUGHT HIS OWN PET ROCK, he named it Dodol, i love him

pictured here are DK with Jeonghan's pet rock and then the first picture of his own pet rock, Dodol

i now include this picture of Jeonghan visiting Dodol specifically bc you can see DK keeps Dodol on a shelf with a collection of?? little fake dogs/dog figurines?? which is somehow SO DOKYEOM and also very endearing, i told you he loves doggos 😭💘

OH also to go along with him being LOUD, he's also a bit of a scaredy cat 😂 (no judgement, me TOO) the members can and have referenced this one exact moment several times since it's happened, but it's iconic, you must see (clip set to start at beginning of the sequence for context, but the exact moment is ~6:40!) See also: Going Seventeen 2020 ep 28 The Tag #2 (dk and s.coups going into a ~haunted house~ together, that's full chaos 😂)

also apparently bad at video games, see Going Seventeen 2020 ep 29/30 Christmas In August #1 & #2 lol

Hoshi started his whole "horanghae" agenda two years ago as a special way to say "i like you"/"i love you" to fans and now every member has their own version and Dokyeom's is "doahae!"

^^^^^ ilu from the vocal team ❤️

He's also one of the members who posts on weverse a fair amount and his posts are either ridiculous and funny or like. stUPIDLY SWEET and so endearing 😭💘

like for example this one time he posted a couple of pics and was like "my hair is couch-colored........"

bless his face

also this boy is so fine and fOR WHAT 😭 i cry about this. a lot.

Some miscellaneous DK videos i will link bc i can!!! : DK being an archery master at ISAC 2019 and only hitting 10pts and also knocking out the bullseye camera // that time Jeonghan went live the same time as him and he sulked about it // DK's high tone rap is legendary

And some DK covers/OST songs! She Didn't Love Me / Missed Connections / The Little Prince

And lastly, random, but he has a Spotify playlist of favorite songs you can listen to ^^

ANYWAY THERE'S SOME INFO ABOUT RESIDENT SUNSHINE BEAN DOKYEOM, SORRY FOR ME JUST RANTING ALL THIS INFORMATION AT YOU BUT. HE'S A DARLIN'.

❤️@koalamb

[alicedrawslesmis]

Hello! I am very new to Les Miserables and I’ve heard a lot about Theodule but I never really understood Him as a character, why is he such a big deal?

Well tumblr ate a long reply that I had typed out because tumblr has a great UI /s

The truth is Theodule isn't important in the story, he doesn't show up much and he's just kinda superfluous. He's more like, decorative. He's a charming himbo who's a lancer in the army. He's Marius's cousin who flirted with Cosette for a while before she lost interest and he moved on

But the thing that elevates Theodule to great is how he was meant to be read vs how he reads. Hugo wrote the Gillenormand family in such a way that you're supposed to find them all equally sort of bad. Mlle Gillenormand (Marius's aunt) imo is the only one that fits the 'sort of bad' category because next to her we have an old man who beats his servants and who literally emotionally and physically abused his grandson, separating him from his father by threatening to disown him. And old G is supposedly redeemed in the end but no he isn't. He sucks and that never changes.

Marius also sucks (affectionate, but true. Sorry buddy, go to therapy please. And leave your grandpa's house) (anyway I think we're supposed to think that Marius overcame his flaws in the end, but no his worst flaws are very much still there)

But the things that Theodule has as character flaws are like almost all neutral things and/or not flaws at all? He cares about his appearance. He's kinda distracted. He sees that Cosette lost interest and he moves on with his life (that's supposed to be a flaw). He's just a charming young man, who grooms his mustache and loves his aunty and does what she tells him to do. But he's kind of inept at what she tells him to do.

One of the genuine best Theodule moments is when Marius has been disappearing for days at a time and his aunt tells him to spy on Marius. He does (but only cause he was headed that same direction anyway and he barely manages to do that cause he fell asleep) and finds out that unlike what the others thought, Marius doesn't have a secret girlfriend but is instead visiting his recently deceased father's grave. Theodule, being an army man, respects the colonel's resting place and also understands grief and so he leaves Marius alone and doesn't tell his aunt what he saw. But also partly cause he forgot to. And this makes him genuinely the best Gillenormand of all.

You know how in romcoms they will often give the female protagonist another love interest who's generally a nice guy and definitely better than the main love interest but then they make the character do something horrible to justify her leaving with the other guy? I think Theodule has that type of character vibe but Hugo forgot to make him do something horrible so he's just an army himbo who's hanging out. And Marius doesn't know him that well but he knows Marius so he's probably the nincest male friendship Marius has after the whole book is over and I want them to hang out more maybe Marius could learn a thing or two from him.

[allen-desu]

Intrigue: A Canute and Thorfinn Character Study

Canute had learned to do one thing above all else- discern men. It was simple. Either he should be wary of a man or not, and of those he was wary of, who should he make face with.

But then there was Thorfinn..

Very mild Thornute | Vulgar Language | Canon Compliant (Volume 3 specifically) | Spoiler Free

Brushing off my Tumblr to post this somewhere, best read on mobile.

-

Canute often found himself studying Thorfinn. In fact he was now, stealing glances of him while riding in a wagon through Wales. His nerves were getting the best of him and not wanting to think of signing a treaty without his father present, Canute instead tried to place Thorfinn to keep his mind occupied. The Prince found him to be a most intriguing character, and one that often eluded any solid characterization. It was egregiously annoying; for you see, growing up in the bloodbath of regal politics, Canute had learned to do one thing above all else- discern men. It was simple. Either he should be wary of a man or not, and of those he was wary of, who should he make face with. Granted, Canute had Ragnar, and therefore he never had to put this skill to a real test for his vassal always fought on his behalf, keeping the young Prince’s best interests in mind. Nevertheless, his cautious observation skills were more often than not proven correct as the time revealed untrustworthy men to Canute.

But then there was Thorfinn. There are always exceptions to any and every rule, but even that logic still couldn’t stick Thorfinn under a neat label inside the Prince’s mind. The boy was not like the men he traveled with. Yes, he did the dirty killing, but he did it in a way that oozed indifference. Thorfinn killed swiftly and acted as if each man was a simple stepping stone to the fight being over, for the killing to be over. While the others he traveled with had a sick enjoyment for the act. Thorfinn did not socialize with the Askeladd’s band. He did not share in their spoils, including that of food and drink. Instead the blond hunted his own food, collected his own water. Only rarely did he ever get what he needed from what was plundered. Those rare instances were either when it was offered to him while marching, or on late and loud evenings, while the rest of Askeladd’s band made themselves merry, Thorfinn would slip some goods from tables abandoned for the night.

So, no, Canute would not label him as part of the band. This conclusion was frustrating, for if Thorfinn was not one of Askeladd’s men, why was he one of Askeladd’s most trusted pawns? Perhaps part of the answer was in the word “pawn” itself, but Askeladd was a cautious man as well. So much so that Canute knew it would bode well for him to try and keep tabs on what the man was thinking. So what was his reasoning to keep Thorfinn- who literally wanted him dead for some unknown reason to the Prince- under his thumb. The young blond was skilled and dangerous to have around. How did Askeladd tame-

Ah.. perhaps that was it.

Thorfinn was like something wild, pacing in its cage and waiting for its chance to do something about its keeper and free itself from its confines. Tamed to compliance, but would still happily bite the hand. Something akin to a wolf perhaps.

Canute looked up from his thoughts over to Thorfinn who was leaning on the opposite side of the wagon, his gaze far off and his eyes hard. Feeling that the Prince was looking at him Thorfinn shot daggers at Canute . Seeing the dirty teen do this with the image of a wolf in his mind nearly tempted Canute to chuckle and he swiftly hid his face from the other in case the temptation won him over. He could hear Thorfinn scoff and that was the end of the whole exchange. A lone wolf in an unfamiliar pack. The young Prince was satisfied with the description for the young warrior.

Canute was no longer satisfied. Thorfinn was his guard and, surprisingly, was taking the job seriously. He seemed not to care, was quick with sharp words at either Canute, Ragnar or Father Willibald. But on more than one occasion, the Prince would catch a small glimpse of Thorfinn nearby, seemingly disinterested, but close enough to come to aid or rescue. Any time he was not lurking and couldn’t be seen or found, a few hours or less after the fact, the shorter blond could be seen emerging from the tree line, a rabbit or more hanging over his shoulder.

In fact, this had just happened and Ragnar had convinced Thorfinn to add the rabbit to the meal he and the Prince were making.

“Highness!” Ragnar had announced upon entry. “We have beans, cabbage and a hare!” As he listed the items, Thorfinn had walked in behind him and closed the door to the cold. Canute was surprised to see him, tensed and annoyed, looking very out of place in the little home they had… procured.

“ A hare?” The Prince asked, ignoring how his own bout of tension was threatening to rise in his shoulders.

“Thorfinn caught it.” Obviously. “We’ll put it in the soup.”

“Well done.” As if Thorfinn needed or wanted praise for a deed he probably found to be child’s play. “Bleed it and skin it so we can wash the meat.” Truth be told, Canute wasn’t expecting for Thorfinn to just comply without some remark, and he surely wasn’t expecting Ragnar to take the rabbit from Thorfinn to do the task instead. It was jarring seeing his caretaker grab the rabbit from him, as if he had just seen Ragnar take a kill from a wild animal. At least that’s what flashed through his mind when the moment started. However, as it happened in real time, Thorfinn let his catch be taken and he was left to simply stand, awkward and unsure.

Canute, stirring the broth in progress mindlessly as he watched on, couldn’t help but consider Thorfinn for a long moment. This boy in front of him was no lone and wild wolf. The moment his gaze was felt, however, the creature came back and Thorfinn found a spot off to the side against the wall that he could sit at and brood.

Once the soup was done and the table was set, Canute and Ragnar somehow coaxed Thorfinn to join them at the table. The tension in the boy’s shoulders was palpable and Canute couldn’t help but take notice of it, trying to further categorize it. When Thorfinn actually acknowledged the meal in front of him, however, his demeanor changed. It was quick, merely a fraction of a second, but the Prince saw it- tried to burn the image into his brain to try and decipher later.

Ragnar’s compliments of the meal they prepared took Canute’s attention and he took this as an opportunity. Agreeing with Ragnar, “The rabbit made it work.” He looked to Thorfinn, “I’m tired of salted meat. You have my thanks.” There was no answer from the shorter blond, he just continued to look at their spread on the table and look lost. Almost as if he didn’t think it was real. The thought threatened to furrow the Prince’s brow. It made him realize yet again, Thorfinn was not amicable with the men he traveled with. When was the last time anyone showed this young man any kindness? When was the last time Thorfinn had the simple pleasure to share a meal with someone at all?

“What’s wrong?” Canute spoke, aiming to pull Thorfinn out of his stupor. “Eat up, you caught the rabbit.”

It seemed to do the trick, for Thorfinn picked up his bowl and spoon and tentatively took a bite. The look on his face, before it was hidden behind matted bangs, was one Canute would very much like to see again. Anger and/or indifference seemed to have a constant monopoly on Thorfinn’s features, but that one, quick moment of.. surprise? Or maybe he was just pleased with the taste of his meal. Either way, the emotion fit his face better, let the ridges between his brows smooth out for a second. Genuine, that was the word. Thorfinn seemed more genuine in that one instant than he did the entirety of the time that Canute had known him thus far.

“Pretty good isn’t it?” Ragnar mused, though the Prince couldn’t quite tell if he had also caught the glimpse of surprise from Thorfinn, or if he was just rearing up to dote and brag on Canute’s cooking talents. “Catch us a deer next, and we’ll really have a meal!”

“...” Not a real reply, but the young guard had acknowledged Ragnar. Thorfinn continued to eat, and almost absentmindedly, “I thought you noble types had everything cooked for you.” It wasn’t a question, a simple statement of thought, but Canute thought he would answer it anyways.

“I enjoy doing it.” The Prince began, “I don’t normally get the chance. Only Ragnar knows that I can cook.” A pause and Canute laid his spoon down in his bowl for a moment. “Do not tell anyone of this.” Thorfinns reply was instant and disinterested.

“Why not?” Followed by, “Who cares?”

Not sure what persuaded him to do so, but Canute began to tell Thorfinn of his father’s, the King, displeasure in the fact that he liked to cook- that it was a frivolous and useless skill to have. Though the shorter blond’s face was as neutral as ever, he did slow in his eating to listen, that alone made Canute feel as he wasn’t wasting his breath, that it was worth having someone other than Ragnar know of how intensely inadequate his father found him to be. Ragnar seemed to be confused at his tellings though. He was obviously not expecting his Highness to share. Giving his Highness an odd look he decided to try and lighten the Prince’s mood, though Canute wasn’t in need of it.

The two of them held their own conversation from there on out, speaking about different dishes Canute could prepare, or what Ragnar could teach him about new dishes he had yet to prepare. The mood in their little borrowed house was light. It was familial in its own way. The young Prince would glance over to Thorfinn every once in a while and was pleased to see that the ever present knot of tension in his shoulders was slowly becoming unraveled. The guard ate and listened.

Something in Thorfinn snapped and Canute shuddered because of it.

What happened in the next instant was too fast for Canute to follow in real time. Thorfinn had gotten up, more like sprung up, and was immediately at the door one of his signature knives pointed at someone’s throat. Had the man had worse reflexes, he would have impaled himself on Thorfinn’s steel. Ragnar was next in the initiative, questioning both Thorfinn and the man on what was going on.

“Agh- I’m on your side Thorfinn!” So it was one of Askeladd’s men. “I’m just bringing a message…” Despite this, it still took a long moment for Thorfinn to remove his knife from the man’s throat. Ragnar took the lead from there and was questioning the newcomer on Canute’s behalf, but Canute himself was still trained on his short bodyguard.

Thorfinn was still tense, still alert and ready to strike, but his initial instinct was slowly recoiling back into its original state. It was interesting to watch the slow movement of his shoulders and back muscles through threadbare clothing. However, Canute’s gaze was felt and Thorfinn shot him a look that could kill. Oddly enough the look from the dirtied blond softened a little, as if he was reminded that Canute was still there and his presence wasn’t something he should be afraid of. The thought struck the Prince as oddly satisfying. He wasn’t able to really dive further into that train of thought, however, for the man brought news of the English advancing on the hideout they had procured. Canute’s shock couldn’t beat out Ragnar’s rage. Heated words about Askeladd and his poor decisions were spoken, and then, just as suddenly as they had come, the man was gone, Ragnar following after him.

The little house was now too still and too quiet until it was broken by Thorfinn huffing through his nose.

“Can’t even manage to close the damn door on their way out.” He muttered, moving to do just that so the winter’s day wouldn’t try and suck any more of the hard earned heat out of the house. With the door closed Thorfinn relocated to his new post beside the door, leaning against the wall. The Prince watched him do this and suddenly Thorfinn was glaring at him again. “Have I fucking done something?” The shorter teen hissed.

“What?” Such an elegant reply, good job Canute. Not that Thorfinn gave two shits about that kind of thing.

“You’ve been staring. Like a lot.” Thorfinn turned to fully face Canute, leaning only one shoulder on the wall. “Still mad, Princess?” A smirk. Of course that’s what he would call him, but Canute realized he was talking about their squabble in the wagons the other day. “I don’t give a rat’s ass who your father is or who’s womb you crawled out of.”

“Still have the vulgar audacity to speak to me like that, but no.” Thorfinn raised a brow at him. “It was more of a shock than anything else. I don’t particularly mind that you speak so blatantly.” No matter how sharp the words, unfortunately. It seemed that the shorter blond did not have a reply for that and instead just refocused his attention to the fire instead. Canute also took this moment to recollect his thoughts. He knew Ragnar was angry, he warned Askeladd about the very problem at hand. Askeladd had paid him no mind at all. Still, the Prince was worried. Ragnar had left in the heat of the moment to a battlefield only to argue with the man leading the defensive charge. Not to mention, his soup would be cold by the time he came back. What a waste.

Perhaps the moments before Ragnar’s return wouldn’t entirely be a waste, though. Not if Canute played his cards right. He wanted to understand Thorfinn. Never before had he met someone that has proven themselves to be so complicated, especially since at first Canute thought him to be a simple brute among other simple brutes. Why was Thorfinn here, why was he in, but yet not considered, part of Askeladd’s band? What happened to him? The short blond hates the man, yet follows him around the country and overseas. He even follows some insane orders with the promise of some kind of reward.

Thorfinn let out an aggravated noise and was suddenly leaning over Canute, hands flat on the table with a bang.

“You’re doing it again. Quit.” The shorter teen growled. Canute blinked owlishly at him. What? Oh, had he been staring again? Nevertheless he continued to study Thorfinn, which was quickly making his guard’s blood boil. Then Canute stood forcing the other teen to stand back a bit and look up at him. He knew that Thorfinn was shorter than him, but it was still amusing to actually see it. Thorfinn carried himself to be larger, more intimidating. Said young guard was now glaring up at Canute through his dirtied bangs. “What?” He hissed.

“You confuse me, Thorfinn.” The Prince replied. Thorfinn also had a fair amount of confusion mixed in with his usual anger, and that fact pleased Canute a bit- at least the feeling was mutual. “I’ve just been trying to figure you out.”

“Well stop.”

“No, I shan’t” Canute replied swiftly. Thorfinn was prone to argue, but nothing came out. The Prince could take a guess as to what he was thinking. That the person in front of him was the same as the shy and bumbling Prince that was showcased and dragged around all of England these past few weeks? Yes and no. There was nothing political in this task, Canute had nothing to fear if he took a misstep. No repercussions. This was a purely selfish motive in which he had no problems pursuing as long as it was kept private. “Also it’s not that I can not, it’s that I will not”

“You…” Thorfinn struggled. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“To you, perhaps not.” This reply really made Thorfinn angry, Canute could see it in the way his whole body tensed, gearing up to fight. Part of him wanted to see if his guard would actually hit him. However, before either of them could think through what they wanted to do next, for some odd reason, Canute had moved and held Thorfinn’s face in his hands. Both teens were now wide eyed and tense. Why did he do that? When did he do that? Just now? A moment ago?

Canute was the first to settle down from the shock of his own actions, and instead of pulling away like he thought he would, the Prince settled into the position. He let his hands feel the warmth of Thorfinn’s jaw and slid down to where his thumbs were still on the other blond’s face, but the rest of his fingers curled delicately around his neck. He knew his hands must have been cold, he was prone to be, but the proof lies in the fact that Thorfinn’s skin puckered into bumps right before he shuddered just slightly.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Thorfinn asked, his voice surprisingly tame. He was definitely still angry and on edge, but thus far it seemed as if Canute was not in danger of being bitten by the wolf that accompanied Thorfinn’s anger.

“Indulging, just let me for a moment.” Canute replied softly, as if trying not to spook Thorfinn away.

“...the hell does that even mean?” The guard muttered in reply. Canute laughed lightly, amused.

“Don’t think on it too hard,Thorfinn.” No reply to that, but the dirtied teen in his hands didn’t pull away either. Good, that was good.

Now that Canute had somehow managed to get them into this situation, he took as much time as he damn well pleased to study the other boy. Not that he was naive enough to believe that staring at Thorfinn would somehow unlock his secrets, but he did think it would help. Thorfinn was a recluse. No one ever got too close to him and he would never let them, so the fact that Canute was quite literally in his personal space seemed like a major victory.

Thorfinn had hard light brown eyes, but if the fire flickered right they were more like unearthed amber or sweet honey. They were nothing like the Prince’s own eyes, a sky blue. The sky may be vast, but Thorfinn’s eyes were deep. What was that saying? The eyes were a window into the soul? Canute could readily believe that looking into Thorfinn’s.

Next Canute took note that, under all the dirt, Thorfinn was tired. He had coloration and lines on his skin that a boy of their age shouldn’t have. Did he ever sleep through the night? His guard was always up late and always up early, always seen at odd hours thinking about something far away... or a time long gone, perhaps? Beyond what dirt and sleepless bruising lay on his skin, was what lacked beneath it. Thorfinn was a genuine threat on the battlefield, how could someone so strong have such gaunt in his cheeks? He knew Thorfinn fended for himself, but from what he has seen, he does a rather good job at it. Granted, he doesn’t eat square meals. Canute thinks that just earlier was the first time he’s seen Thorfinn eat anything green, or not meat related. Still, a soldier's diet of salted meat and wine wouldn’t result in malnutrition. Was malnutrition why he was short? Just… Just how long had Thorfinn been taking care of himself? The men didn’t bat an eye at Thorfinn’s presence. In fact, while marching and the men told old stories, Thorfinn was in a good many of them. Years? Had it been years since Thorfinn had a meal like the one he had today?

“I don’t need your fucking pity.” Thorfinn’s voice startled the Prince. Was he making a face of some kind?

“I didn’t mean..”

“Save your breath, I don’t care.”

Canute thought it was best to not reply, so instead he wiped some dirt off of Thorfinn’s face with one of his thumbs. With a fresh bath, a sturdy brush, and some new clothes, Thorfinn could be considered handsome.

He wondered what Thorfinn was thinking. Was he actually trying to decipher Canute in turn or was he just waiting for the Prince to be done? Canute also wondered, truly, when was the last time Thorfinn was shown kindness? Affection? Perhaps he wasn’t a lone wolf at all, but something lost instead. When one finds themselves abandoned in one way or another, in an unfamiliar place, one must adapt. Did Thorfinn just adapt to killing? Fights because he has to? It was frustrating going through all these thoughts himself, but Canute knew for a fact that Thorfinn would not simply answer any questions that he asked.

Perhaps… Perhaps Canute could be the one to show him kindness? Maybe he could properly tame the wolf that was Thorfinn’s anger, and find the lost person it was protecting. Thorfinn was so hard to get close to though, even today he had been reluctant to simply share his rabbit and then a meal. So what could the Prince do? He thought of this and that, feeling Thorfinn’s pulse through the fingers on his neck. Absentmindedly he rubbed his thumbs in time with it, studying him. Again Thorfinn couldn’t suppress a shiver and again Canute was moving without thinking at all.

He had pressed their lips together. Why? Not even God above would know. Thorfinn’s lips were chapped, still and shocked against the Prince’s own, but he was warm. Unfairly warm and it seeped into Canute. He could stay this way for a long while if he was completely honest with himself, but one kiss was enough. A gesture of both kindness and affection that Thorfinn could seek out from him if he chose to do so if he ever needed to feel wanted. So Canute pulled away, but instead of the awkward moment he was expecting, strong hands pulled him back in at the hips. Thorfinn had leaned back up and continued the kiss.

The taller blond was not expecting this, but then again he was also not expecting to have kissed Thorfinn in the first place either. His pale hands slipped from Thorfinn’s face and neck and instead slid so Canute could rest his arms on his guard’s shoulders. The hands on his hips were most likely bruising him with how tight they held him, but that was part of what he liked about this moment. Thorfinn was holding him and kissing him like this was something he desperately needed. Canute returned its ferocity and leaned in, making Thorfinn crane his neck at an odd angle, and then ran his tongue over the shorter’s lips. Again this was something neither of them were expecting, not experienced enough to really know what they were doing at all to be honest.

However, surprisingly enough, Thorfinn had again let it happen, letting Canute test the waters. So he did. Canute pushed his tongue into the other blond’s mouth. He felt Thorfinn’s tongue with his own, the roof of his mouth and back of his teeth. It was oddly exhilarating, even more so when Thorfinn mimicked Canute and did the same to him.

As Thorfinn kissed him Canute moved them, pivoting them so Thorfinn was between him and the table. The shorter blond grunted when it happened and turned his head out of the kiss to look at their new position, to which the taller blond took as a chance to place kisses to Thorfinn’s jaw and neck.

“Don’t think that I’m just going to bend over like some paid whore.” Thorfinn muttered, his voice was a little deeper, thicker, Canute couldn’t help but like it, but also couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up from him.

“I wasn’t really planning on it.” He mused, resting his head in the crook of Thorfinn’s neck. Canute watched as Thorfinn reached for his low ponytail and played with the strands tentatively. It almost seemed as if he had been wanting to do so for a while but never had gotten the chance to do so until now. Canute kept that nice little thought in mind as he placed more kisses up Thorfinn’s neck, trailing back up to his mouth.

The two of them kissed some more, each exploring at their own paces. Canute also let his hands wander; Thorfinn was all muscle and bone and very thin. The prince knew that one day, if Thorfinn’s disinterest in his own health didn’t kill him first, that he would be properly strong, with healthy muscle, and a fuller face. At least that’s what he hoped for. Thorfinn did not explore the way Canute did, but his grip remained tight and would squeeze him whenever Canute did something he liked. At some point their hands inched a little higher.

The heat between them slowly, so very slowly, faded and they were back where they started, Canute cupping his face. After a few moments that stopped too.

“Did this ever happen?” Thorfinn asked, voice quiet. Canute blinked at him, it wouldn’t bode well for him if Thorfinn ever told anyone of their little venture, but he was honestly surprised that the other cared at all. But more than that, Canute was surprised to see that the anger that was seemingly permanent on Thorfinn’s features was gone. In its place was something the Prince could not identify, but he would burn the image in his brain. Hard eyes were gone, in its place was only honey and a fair amount of color in his cheeks.

Canute decided he would be the one to give Thorfinn the kindness he deserved. Even if it was just in small doses, seemingly meaningless gestures.

“No.” He replied, leaning down to press a kiss to Thorfinn’s cheek. “But it could happen again if you want.”

The shorter blond huffed and made a gesture for Canute to move. He did and Thorfinn moved towards the door. Canute had expected him to leave, but instead he had taken his previous makeshift post at the door. “Whatever, your Highness”

The Prince took his place back at the table, smiling to himself. That response certainly wasn’t a no. He had more thinking to do.

[starlightxsvt]

Halcyon

Pairing: Jun x female reader

Genre: angst, crack, fluff, suggestive

Warnings: some cursing

Word count: 3k

"I didn't think you were the type to loose your sanity for a girl," you mumble as you drag Jun's sluggish body into his bedroom. "Me neither," comes his slurr, a drunk smile plastered on his face. You scoff, pushing him into the bed and reach for the half full plastic water bottle in his nightstand, helping him drink it up before laying him back on the bed.

"Mmm, dirty girl. Are you trying to take advantage of me?" Jun slurrs, a stupid smile plastered on his face as he wiggles his eyebrows at you. You smack him in on the shoulder grumbling, "I should have left you in the bar, idiot."

"But you didn't," Jun giggles staring at the ceiling, his arms and legs spread wide on the bed. You roll your eyes and offer, "Let me take off your jacket. It must feel uncomfortable."

"Mmm, you really horny, no Y/n?" He grins at you and you fume. Even though you know the boy is drunk, his teasing gets on your nerves. You heave in a deep sigh, getting yourself together. Ignoring his protests you get rid off Jun's jean jacket and manage to put a pillow under his head. Then you grab some painkillers and set them down on his nightstand saying, "I'm keeping some medicine here. Take them after you wake up."

You don't get any reply, instead Jun stares at his ceiling murmuring, "Why does she like him so much? What does he have that I don't?"

Your heart breaks for the boy. Softly you take a seat beside his head. You whisper, "It's okay, Jun. You'll find someone better. Maybe you've been trying too hard for her to notice that someone else may like you." Jun's eyes meet yours, "Really?" You swallow and nod. And she's right in front of you, Jun.

Jun sighs as he sloppily places his head on your lap, "You're really nice you know."

Your heart constricts. You say nothing, softly stroking his hair, hoping he'd fall asleep soon. "You should get a boyfriend. You've been single since birth," Jun yawns. "Don't worry, I'll help you find a nice guy..." his voice trails off as his breathes come out softer, more evenly.

-

You've known Jun since primary school. You were neighbors who visited each other often. From building legos to sneaking out late night for a drive, you've done it all with Jun. As time passed your feelings for Jun grew into something more than just fondness and friendship. Unfortunately, Jun didn't feel the same because he never showed any sign of such and went around dating girls. But that didn't mean he forgot about you, no. He was there for you when you needed him and he took it up to himself to protect you - like an elder brother. It hurt you, your feelings hanging on the tip of your tongue but you could never get them out.

And just like that, after graduation both of you moved out of your small town and into the city and shared an apartment - your parents more than happy that you had Jun by your side. Yes, he was by your side, just not the way you wanted.

Jun's crush is a mutual friend, you both met her after moving into the city. She is nice and pretty and when Jun asked her out, maybe for the first time in his life, he got rejected. Soon after she got engaged and tonight she had thrown a party inviting all of her friends to celebrate. At first you suggested not to go because you knew Jun would end up like this but he protested, saying he wasn't a coward.

You look at his relaxed features as he sleeps and your heart aches. You feel bad for him. But worse for yourself.

-

Morning comes quicker than you expected and after freshening up, you rush to Jun's room. He sits in the middle of his bed, hair sticking out in different directions, staring at the floor in an unfocused gaze. You note that the pills from his nightstand is gone so he must've taken them.

"How do you feel? Are you sober now?" You chirp, entering his room. "I'm moderately functional," comes his grumble as he stares at the floor. You frown, "I'll...take that as a no."

"No, I'm sober but I wanna get drunk again. My head hurts so fucking bad, nghh." He flops back into his bed and you smile fondly at him. "Should've thought about that before getting wasted." His reply is a groan as he rubs his face. You offer, "How about I make you some soup? Can you take a shower? I'm sure you'll feel better."

Few hours later, Jun joins you for brunch as he drinks his soup and you finish the leftover chocolate cake.

"How do you feel?"

"Could be better."

You chuckle. He looks better for sure. His hair is slightly damp and his toned body peeking from underneath the thin white tee he's wearing. You swallow trying to take your mind out of the gutter.

"What are you looking at?" Jun asks casting his eyes to your laptop in front of you. "Oh, um... apartments..." You swallow. Jun's brows knit together in confusion as he sits down beside you, "What? Why?"

'Well, I was thinking of moving out."

Jun stares at you like you've grown two heads before speaking, "What the fuck Y/n? Why-why would you do that?"

You swallow trying to think of a convincing answer, "Well, I wanted to move somewhere closer to work you know, not take the subway?"

"I can drop you to work, you just need to say-"

"No it's okay, I just-"

"Do you have a boyfriend Y/n? Is that what you are hiding? If you want to move in with someone else you can just tell me!"

"No! No- it's not that. Just, listen-"

"No Y/n. I don't want to listen. I'm hurt, okay? We've been living together for so long and now you suddenly start looking for apartments to move out without discussing with me. I thought we were best friends. If you don't like living with me, you could've just said it." Jun stands up to leave.

Before you know it, the words slip past your mouth, "It's because I like you, okay!" Your eyes go wide as realization hits you and Jun stares at you, stuck in his place. It's like the whole world stops as both of you stare at each other, your heart thrumming loudly in your chest.

It's do or die now.

"Yes, I like you. I like you since - I don't know, forever maybe. You're always caring and looking out for me and it's hard not to have feelings for you okay? But it's harder to be close to you and watch you pin over other girls when you're all I want. So yes, I wanna move out. I wanna stay away from you so that I don't cry everytime you fuck or get drunk over someone else. And I'm sorry if I hurt you but I think this is for the best."

By now, a stray tear rolls down your cheek and you suck in a breath, annoyed at yourself. Jun stands immobile, gazing at you and just when you're about to open your mouth, he comes right in front of you to engulf you in his arms. You stop breathing as he squeezes you against his chest, his head resting on your shoulder. "J-Jun..."

"Why didn't you say that before?"

"Say what?"

"That you like me," he releases you and meets your eyes as you swallow nervously, "I...I don't know. You were never interested in me and... I was scared, I guess."

"I liked you in middle school, then highschool but you never gave me any sign. Instead whenever we talked about dating you said you'd rather stay single. So I kept my feelings to myself."

You stare at him, flabbergasted, your jaw unhinged before you suddenly burst out, "Well if you at least asked me out properly instead of being a pussy, we would be dating by now!" Jun flinches slightly at your voice, then sighs. "Yea, right, I'm sorry." You sigh with frustration before murmuring, "I'm sorry too. We're just both big idiots."

A soft chuckle escapes Jun as he gazes at you fondly, "We are." You smile, suddenly feeling shy as you try to avoid eye contact. Jun whispers, "Y/n, let me do this properly. Will you be my girlfriend?"

You chew on your bottom lip, your insides warming up. Elated your almost jump on him, hugging him tightly, "Yes! Yes, I'd love to!" Jun pulls you back to look at you, a dazzling smile plastered in his face as his hands gently stroke your cheek. "I want to kiss you."

"About time, Wen Junhui."

His lips mold into yours, a perfect match. His hand tilts your neck, guiding you expertly through the kiss. Soft moans escape from both of you as your tongues collide and when you pull back you realise your legs are wrapped around his waist. You smile sheepishly, warmth on your cheeks as he pecks your forehead, heading for his bedroom. "About time we do the other thing."

You look up at him, burning in embarrassment as you ask, "Um, right now?" He peers down at you frowning, "What? Isn't it about time we cuddle? Wait- what were you thinking, dirty girl?"

"I- Wen Junhui, I swear to God!" You hit his chest as he howls with laughter, dropping you to the bed.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Let's do the dirty, shall we?"

A/N: Hello lovelies! Yep, reposting cuz Tumblr ate up my post ughh. Anyway, I was so stressed out because I wanted to write something fluffy and cute for our Junnie and it isn't really my forte. I really hope you enjoyed reading this and if you did please let me know. Your words really inspire me to keep writing. 💖

My masterlist -> here

[gravelyhumerus]

Criminal Minds College AU - Chapter 8

Title: “I may just take your breath away” / Sweater Weather AU

Relationship: Jemily

Word count: 35,604

Summary:

Penelope hacks the college. JJ pets a cat. There are three blowjobs. Need I say more?

Slow-burn Jemily college AU where they live across the hall and despite all odds, the universe pushes them together. AKA they’re silly gay babies who pine after each other for months.

Read it on AO3

Tumblr:  One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, (bonus scene), Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Epilogue

JJ adjusted the textbook in her hands, rolling onto her side to get comfortable with it. Behind her, was the calming sounds of Penelope’s pop music and her dancing fingertips as she typed code into her computer. 

She had only a few pages left to read, but she was having a hard time focusing. JJ’s brain kept drifting to the events of that weekend. On Halloween, they played spin the bottle. JJ’s spin landed right on Emily, meaning that they had to kiss. 

But it was not chaste. As Penelope most eloquently put it: “you two were seconds from ripping each other’s clothes off in front of us.”

JJ couldn’t wrap her head around it. 

Emily had really kissed her. There was tongue. It was not a peck to play the game; they had gone at it like teenagers in the backseat of a car at a lovers’ lane. 

It made reading her textbook difficult when she knew what Emily’s tongue felt like against hers. It made doing her essay challenging when she could remember the taste of her lips. It made doing just about anything next to impossible when JJ was desperate to kiss Emily again. 

“Did you know that it’s Hotch’s birthday tomorrow?” Penelope asked, spinning in her chair to look at JJ. 

“Wait, what?” JJ asked. She looked up from her textbook.  

“So... I’ve hacked into the college database,” Penelope said, turning back to her computer, her hands were once again typing a mile a minute. “Because of the whole thing with Reid not telling us about his birthday, the poor thing, and I didn’t want to miss anyone else’s.”

“Maybe we could do a co-birthday?” JJ mused, thinking about the logistics of that. 

“You read my mind, my beautiful sporty friend,” Penelope replied. “I’ve almost got everyone’s, just a minute.”

JJ stood up, walked over to Garcia’s side of the room. Somehow, her side of the room was cleaner than JJ’s, despite the sheer amount of things. Her desk was covered in trinkets, decorations and her wall covered in posters, art prints and photographs. JJ’s, on the other hand, had significantly less stuff, and way more mess. She was a busy girl and her desk was basically useless with all of her books and loose paper and miscellaneous things she needed to deal with ages ago. 

“Did you know that Morgan is a gemini?” Penelope asked. 

“Figures,” JJ replied, hoping that was the right response. 

Garcia had two monitors on her light, wooden desk, and a large desktop computer that she had built herself tucked underneath. On one monitor, was a file that she was slowly adding to, of birthdays written in white text on a grey background. Her own was there, alongside Spencer, Hotch, Derek….

JJ then watched as Garcia typed out Emily’s birthday: October 12. They had missed it too!

“Oh my god,” Penelope said, “why don’t they tell us these things?! How did we befriend such secretive people.”

“Wait, when was that?” JJ murmured, grabbing her wall calendar and flipping through the pages. “Oh my god I saw her that day. She was baking cookies, alone.”

“Alone?” Penelope whimpered. 

JJ thought back to that night. She had barged into the kitchen, talked all about her impending break up with Will, and ate Emily’s cookies. She felt awful. Obviously they didn’t know each other as well then, but why was she alone?

“She didn’t even tell Derek,” Penelope said, “oh that sweet summer child. Who hurt her?”

JJ always celebrated her birthday. Be it a family dinner or a full on birthday party when she was a kid, JJ was used to a fuss made about her each year. It was harder after Ros, but her parents refused to let the day pass without at least a cake and a present. 

As she befriended Penelope last year, their birthdays were filled with presents and friendship and alcohol, both girls making sure to give the other a thoughtful gift and make a fuss for the day.

Her heart was breaking that three of her new friends were about to let theirs pass without anything to show for it. 

“We should have a party,” JJ blurted. 

“You read my mind.”

JJ frankly welcomed the distraction from her circular thoughts about her kiss with Emily.

 ——— 

JJ left another store empty handed. She had first placed an order at a store downtown for a birthday cake, with three names on it which confused the baker, then began to wander downtown searching for presents. 

She had another half hour before she was supposed to meet back up with Derek and Penelope, who were at the dollar store buying decorations, and she had hoped to find something for Emily by then. 

The three of them were quite efficient at party planning, and they had to be with such a quick turnaround time. JJ had been tasked with finding a present for Emily.

For Hotch, they wrangled a bottle of the nicer whiskey that he liked, because even at the age of 21, he was somehow already an old man in his tastes. Spencer was also easy, because Penelope was working on knitting him a scarf. Apparently it was from the show Dr. Who, but JJ didn’t really know much about that besides that it was British and both he and Penelope were big fans. 

Emily was a lot harder to shop for. 

What could JJ get for her with the thirty dollars that they all had pitched in to fund her present? Not much. Especially since JJ knows that Emily comes from money. If she wanted something, she could probably just buy it for herself, right? 

It was also difficult because it would be from her. It would be a token of her affections. What were her affections? Did she want to simply sleep with her? Date with her? Be her best friend? JJ’s thoughts were a mess.

JJ had been in just about every store downtown, browsing clothes, gift stores, even a plant store in which she contemplated the meaning of getting Emily a cactus. Nothing was quite right.

She had almost given up when she wandered past a used book store. She had never been in before but always meant to. Out front was a stack of old milk crates filled with books, mostly romance novels and thrillers, and inside the window, beautifully bound antique books were resting in the display. 

A bell dinged as she walked in, and an elderly man waved at her from the counter before returning to his own book. 

Inside, the smell of old books filled her senses, mixed with the smell of apples and cinnamon and the earthy smell of all the old buildings in her college town. 

Stacked floor to ceiling were mountains of books, towering over her head. 

There were a few other patrons in the shop, some sitting and reading, others wandering the stacks, pulling out the occasional book. 

JJ slowly made her way through the maze. It was larger inside than she expected, with thousands of old books surrounding her, no matter where she looked. At times, she had to step over a pile of books in her path. 

The books were organized by topic, but within that, JJ couldn’t discern a clear system. 

She climbed the creaky staircase and pondered what kind of book Emily would like. Is buying her a romance novel too forward? JJ wondered. She probably wouldn’t be able to find one with two women anyways. 

Did Emily like fantasy? Sci-fi? Non Fiction? Should JJ get her something she’s read? JJ realized that she hadn’t read anything that wasn’t for school in ages. 

JJ felt overwhelmed. Was she thinking too hard? 

She did a double take at the window sill, realizing that the movement that caught her eye was a black cat basking in the sunlight. 

JJ reached out her hand tentatively to pet it. The cat nuzzled her hand, and began to purr. JJ smiled, spending a few minutes giving the cat much needed attention. 

The cat then stood, apparently growing bored, and ran off to investigate something or chase a mouse or whatever bookstore cats got up to. 

Where it lay was a small book. It was old, but not as old as some of the other leather bound texts in this store. Its white cover had a simple drawing of a boy, and written in a looping script: “Le Petit Prince.”

JJ smiled slightly, picking up the thin book. She leaned against the windowsill and carefully flipped through the pages, admiring the illustrations and trying to decipher the premise with her limited understanding of French. 

It seemed like it was for children, with whimsical art of a boy on a small planet, a king, a rose and a fox, among other things. She read the first few pages, about a boy falling in love with a flower, and decided it was perfect. 

It was a sign, JJ thought, the cat led her to this book. 

The cat—which reminded JJ of Emily with its standoffish exterior but affectionate personality—had clearly shown her that this was the perfect present. 

There was no price on it, and JJ worried that it would be out of her budget. Holding it to her chest, she descended the steps and brought the book to the clerk. 

“Hello sir,” JJ greated him, setting the book down on the table, “How much is this book? ”

He was seated in a comfortable looking chair behind a counter with an old-fashioned cash register. The sign on it read, ‘cash only’  and there was a tip jar in the form of a cat mug. 

“Oh this is an excellent choice!” The man lifted the book up, examining the cover. “On ne voit qu’avec le cœur.”

That was French. JJ didn’t know what it meant, only catching the word “heart” at the end. She nodded nonetheless. 

“You speak French?” He asked her. 

She shrugged. “I’m learning.” 

“This book will teach you more than just French,” the man said. “Trust me.”

JJ didn’t know what he meant, but nodded. He still hadn’t told her how much it was. 

“It’s a gift,” JJ explained, “for a friend.”

He handed her back the book, smiling at her. He gave it to her for fifteen dollars, seeming to make up the price on the spot. The black cat waited for her near the door, letting her pet him on the ears before she left. 

JJ left the door, hugging the book to her chest. 

 ——— 

Wrangling three of their friends into attending a surprise party was harder than it looked.

With three student athletes, nights during which none of them had games, or practices were scarce, so it took them until the next Friday before they found a free evening. Then, they had to go through the ordeal of convincing them to show up at Derek’s room at the right time. 

JJ felt giddy with the secret, greatly enjoying the party planning and doing something special for her new friends. On her Wednesday afternoon study date with Emily, her excitement for the party almost overpowered her nervousness with the girl due to their recent kiss. JJ caught herself looking more at Emily than her notes, alternating between imagining them kissing and imagining the look on Emily’s face when she received her present. 

By seven that Friday night, they had fully decorated Derek’s tiny dorm with streamers, balloons, and just about anything Penelope could find at the dollar store. A happy birthday sign was strung over one of the windows, with the addition of their friends' names written in marker on poster boards taped underneath.  

Their presents were wrapped messily, as JJ wasn’t particularly good at using wrapping paper. The cake sat on Derek’s desk reading “Happy (belated) birthday Emily, Hotch and Spencer!” in red icing on white cake. 

The three of them were frantically blowing up balloons and checking their phones. JJ felt slightly light headed by the time they were done. 

Hotch and Emily were coming for a “study date” with Derek, and Spencer was expecting a Dr. Who marathon with Garcia. All were supposed to be there any minute.

There was a knock on the door. 

“Get ready!” Garcia squealed, “someone’s here!” 

She opened the door, and instead of the birthday kids, it was David Rossi, who JJ had met for the first time a few weeks prior. He was 22, only a few months older than Hotch, in his first year of his masters. He and Hotch were close, and Emily and Derek knew him well since he TA’d one of their classes. 

“Rossi?” Derek said, “you came!”

“I never turn down an invitation to a party,” he said. 

“I have to admit,” Derek said, “it’s not that much of a party.“

“It’s more of a magical birthday get together,” Penelope said as she ushered him in. 

“Good thing I brought enough alcohol to make it a party,” he said. 

He pulled a very expensive looking bottle of vodka out of his backpack, and more beers than should fit in a normal sized bag. 

“I take it back,” Derek said, “this is definitely a party.”

There was another knock on the door.

“Come in!” Garcia said, picking up a balloon to throw. 

Spencer opened the door trailed by Hotch and Emily, all looking confused as they were bombarded by a dozen balloons cascading down from above and a series of hugs from the group. All were looking around with a mix of shock and happiness on their faces.

“It’s technically none of your birthdays today,” Penelope said, “Because you are all such awful private people, BUT I got the goods and figured it out. We thought we would celebrate all of you guys, and our amazing friend group, with this little shindig.”

“It’s wonderful Garcia,” Hotch said, almost smiling, “Thank you.”

“Don’t just thank me!” she said, “It was Miss Jennifer’s idea, and she got the cake. And my beautiful Derek helped me with the decorations and loaned his room, which might I say, is strangely large for a single room.”

Derek chucked, “It was my pleasure, happy birthday you three.”

He pulled Spencer in and ruffled his hair. 

“We’ve ordered pizza too!” JJ announced, “It should be here any minute now.”

“You’re too good to us,” Emily finally spoke up, after standing in the doorway with a dazed expression on her face. 

Penelope guided them in, and the group exchanged hugs and laughter, and Hotch got a very Italian kiss on the cheek from Rossi. Penelope put silly birthday hats on their heads, and took photos like a proud mother. 

After a few minutes of chatter—about the decorations, how they managed to keep it a secret, and most importantly, the illegality of Penelope hacking into their personal data on the university server— JJ’s phone pinged and she ran to the foyer to get the pizzas. 

Munching on greasy food, there was a companionable silence with the cheery sounds of the music in the background. 

As pizza wrapped up, their chatter resumed and the room filled with overlapping conversations. JJ noticed Rossi had snuck off to fish something out of Derek’s mini fridge, pouring something out into shot glasses. Then she heard the sound of whipped cream. 

At that sound, all heads turned towards him. He had three cups filled to the brim with whipped cream and he looked like he was about to burst into laughter at any point. 

“BIRTHDAY SHOTS!” Penelope squealed. 

“No way,” Hotch said, “I’m not doing one of those.”

“One of what?” Spencer asked nervously. 

“It’s not a blowjob is it?” Emily asked with a laugh. 

“A blowjob?” Spencer asked even more nervously. 

“It’s a shot, kid,” Derek assured him, “you just can’t use your hands and there’s the-“ 

He gestured at the whipped cream with a laugh.

“White stuff!” Emily said, tying up her hair into a ponytail in preparation. 

Rossi had to explain the premise several times, before it sunk in that they had to fish out the small shot and drink it all without using their hands. Reid looked at them suspiciously but he warmed up to the idea after Hotch offered to go first so he could see how it’s done. 

The older boy had definitely done a blowjob shot before, efficiently grabbing the plastic shot cup and downing it, his cheeks covered with whipped cream. 

Emily was enthusiastically buried in the whipped cream but struggled on the follow through, spilling most of the vodka into the larger cup before she drank it. 

Reid seemed nervous to get the whipped cream on his face, reeling back and wiping his cheeks then trying again. 

Eventually, Derek reached his hand into the cup, retrieved the shot and held it up to Spencer’s mouth.

“Look ma, no hands!” Morgan quipped before rubbing some leftover whipped cream on the younger boy’s face as the group laughed. Reid was laughing happily, beaming as he wiped his face. 

With the celebratory shot in their system, it was time for cake. JJ carefully used Penelope’s bright pink lighter to ignite candles on each piece for her three friends as they sang Happy Birthday to them.  

“Happy birthday to you!” They sang, “happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Hotch, Spence and Emily! Happy birthday to you!”

They blew out their candles. All were instructed to make wishes. 

As the night progressed, JJ got more and more nervous about the present. What if Emily hated it? Would she ruin the whole night? Penelope and Derek had assured her that it was a good present but what if they were wrong too?

JJ busied herself with cutting the cake, distributing pieces and making sure everyone had forks and napkins. 

Rossi, who was their unofficial bartender, was stationed near the mini fridge and passed out fresh beers when called upon. 

“Gifts!” Penelope exclaimed once they had made good work of the cake, dragging the presents out from their hiding space under Derek’s desk.

She handed them over to Emily, Hotch and Reid. 

“We all pitched in,” Derek said. 

All three looked perturbed at the fuss, murmuring “you shouldn’t have” as they looked at the gift. Spencer opened his and laughed, wrapping the incredibly long striped scarf around his neck and thanking Penelope. Aaron actually did smile at his present and expressed his gratitude by pouring them all shots. 

Emily held hers for a moment, staring at the wrapped book with an unreadable expression on her face. JJ watched, holding her breath as she turned it over, then placed it back down. 

“Will you excuse me for a second?” Emily said, her voice tight and sounding very… formal. 

JJ gulped as Emily stood, and exited the dorm, shutting the door behind her. She immediately thought that she had done something wrong.

The group looked back and forth, not quite sure what to do, as the commotion happened mid way through Hotch doling out shots of whiskey and some were already half raised. 

A moment passed as JJ thought about whether it would be worse for her to follow or leave her be. Maybe she wanted to be left alone? Maybe JJ was the last person Emily wanted to see?

She knew there was a lot about Emily that she didn’t know. Like JJ, the other girl kept a lot close to her chest. Over time, JJ had learned some details of her childhood, but not all, and what she knew didn’t look good. Maybe all of this was a bad idea? Emily might have had a reason that she didn’t celebrate her birthday. This could have been an awful plan and it would have been all JJ’s fault. 

She stood and grabbed the book, deciding to follow Emily. She slipped out the door and walked slowly down the hall, unsure of what she would even say to Emily once she faced her. Hey I just gave you a gift and you all but ran out of the room before you opened it, did I offend you somehow? Or I’m sorry?

JJ wasn’t sure what she was sorry for. She just knew something was upsetting Emily and the last thing JJ wanted to be was the cause of that. In fact, she wanted to make Emily happy and make sure nothing ever bothered her ever again. It would probably be weird for her to say that, right? 

She assumed that Emily had gone to the communal bathroom, as she left her lanyard with her room keys behind her in Derek’s room. If she had left the floor she would have been locked out. 

JJ took a breath outside the door, then pushed it open. 

Emily was standing in the bathroom that all of the girls floor shared, with its small row of stalls, old fashioned sinks and blue tiled floor. A frosted window that looked out into the courtyard. Many mornings JJ found herself brushing her teeth next to the other girl. 

Emily had her arms braced on the sides of the sink, leaning forward and looking at herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed and her breathing was coming in quick breaths. 

“Em?” JJ said softly. 

Startled by the noise, Emily looked away from her, quickly pulling up a corner of her shirt to wipe her eyes. 

“You ok?” JJ asked, tucking the present behind her back. 

“I’m fine,” Emily said, standing up straight and giving her a half smile. Her posture was stiff, her smile forced.

“You don’t look fine.” 

Emily stepped back, leaning against the window sill. She crossed her arms, still avoiding any eye contact. 

JJ walked forward, slowly closing the distance. 

She leaned on the wall beside Emily, trying not to stare at her and make her feel uncomfortable. 

“Did I do something wrong?” JJ asked. Her voice sounded small in her ears. She immediately kicked herself, upset at how this might sound like she was making it all about herself. 

“No!” Emily exclaimed, shaking her head. “No. It wasn’t you it’s…”

She trailed off. 

“I’ve never had all this before. The friends and the party and the gifts. All this attention… it’s a lot.” 

She slid to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. JJ did the same, turning to face the other girl. She didn’t want to push too hard lest Emily flee from her again.

“It’s all so nice,” Emily whispered. 

“Then what’s wrong?” JJ asked softly. 

Emily sighed and began to bite her nails. Her posture was hunched over, curled up on the cold tile floor. 

She began to speak, then stopped herself, gritting her teeth and blinking hard. She looked over at JJ reluctantly, seeming to think hard about how to answer that question. 

“I was always the new girl wherever I was,” she said. “I was never anywhere enough to make friends, real friends that is. Or have anything like all this. I would do anything to fit in and it never seemed to work.”

JJ’s heart felt like it was breaking for her friend. She tried to imagine Emily trying to be anyone else other than the Emily she knew and couldn’t. Fitting in is hard, let alone fitting into new countries and learning new languages. JJ knew she wouldn’t have been able to keep it together.

Emily shook her head, picking at the skin around her nails anxiously, JJ could tell that sharing all of this was incredibly difficult. 

“I lived in a dozen different countries and was barely  there long enough to make friends and when I did…” Emily sighed. “I fucked it up. I make things worse for people.” 

Emily buried her face in her hands, her breaths coming harder now. Her voice was shaky and quiet, almost whispering to JJ. 

“My mom was never around on my birthdays. She would leave me a present. Maybe. This year she didn’t even call.”

Emily paused. 

“And then you guys do all this.” 

Emily looked up, staring with unfocused eyes into the bathroom, JJ could tell she was thinking of someone else, some other day. She looked lost. 

JJ wanted to hold her hand, wanted to comfort her, keep her close. She was always called the mom friend, it was in her nature to try and make sure her friends were taken care of. Her feelings for Emily complicated things. If she was anyone else, she would grab her hand, no questions asked, but she felt herself second-guessing each move.  

Her actions suddenly felt like they had more weight to them. Knowing that she liked Emily made everything strange. If she held her hand, would it be weird? She didn’t know. Normally, she wouldn’t question holding a friend’s hand, hell, she’d already held Emily’s hand. 

But that was before she was gay, or bi, or whatever. Before she knew she liked girls. Liked Emily. Now, touching her felt scary, like she was doing something wrong, even if she was simply trying to be nice. 

Fighting against her anxious thoughts, JJ reached out, tugging at Emily’s wrist until her hand clasped onto hers. JJ ran a reassuring thumb over her hand. She sighed a breath of relief when Emily leaned into the touch. 

“You’re our friend,” JJ said, simply. “And we care about you.” 

Emily nodded, still not looking at her. 

“When I held your present in my hands,” Emily said, “I just couldn't stop thinking of my friend Matthew. He surprised me on my sixteenth birthday, pulling me out of some stupid event my mother had dragged me to. That was the only time I got a real birthday present before now.”

JJ hadn’t heard about this friend. Emily didn’t really talk about her past, beyond the general facts. JJ had to stop herself from prying, fighting back her curiosity in favour of letting Emily talk. 

She squeezed Emily’s hand in a gesture she hoped would be encouraging.  

“Your gift just brought back a lot of memories,” Emily said with a whisper. “Matthew basically saved my life. He was the only friend I had before now I guess.” 

She looked over at JJ. 

“I’m sorry,” Emily said, wiping at her eyes. 

“Don’t be.”

JJ pulled Emily into her, wrapping her arms around her and holding her tight. Emily let out a muffled sob and fell into her, with her head tucked under JJ’s chin. They sat like that for a while, JJ listening to Emily’s ragged breathing and JJ running a calming hand over her back. Emily’s face was buried in her shoulder, her soft hair tickled JJ’s face as she held her tight.  

She focused on rubbing Emily’s back, making patterns with her hand on top of her soft sweater. Emily’s arms were wrapped around her waist. 

For a moment, tears pricked at JJ’s eyes. Watching Emily finally be vulnerable to her, for her to share something, even if she left out details, was a lot. She blinked them back and focused on steadying her breathing, being a calm presence for Emily. 

After a moment Emily pulled away, creating some distance between them, wiping her face with her sleeve and sniffling. 

“JJ I don’t want you to get hurt,” Emily said, her voice cracking, “I just bring people pain.”

“What happened, Em?” JJ asked. 

Emily looked at her with teary eyes and shook her head. 

“You don’t have to tell me, Emily. But I need you to know that whatever it is, I’ll still be here. I care so much about you and just… like being your friend. I don’t care what happened in your past or if you think you’re going to hurt me. All I care about is us.”

“I like being your friend,” Emily said with a teary laugh. 

JJ smiled at her, pulling her into another hug. Holding her tight feeling like the girl would break into pieces in front of her if she let go. 

“Do you want your present?” JJ asked carefully, still hugging Emily. She could feel the other girl nod. 

JJ pulled back, taking the wrapped book from the tile floor and placing it in Emily’s lap. Emily carefully began to unwrap it, as if she wasn’t allowed to rip the brightly patterned paper.

“You know you can rip it, right?” JJ said with a kind laugh. “Just tear it open, it’s part of the fun!”

Emily looked at her nervously, and half heartedly tugged at the wrapping paper. 

“Harder!” JJ said, demonstrating by pulling on it and making a satisfying tearing noise. JJ assumed that the girl didn’t have the opportunity to tear open presents as a kid, and JJ wanted to make sure she didn’t miss out on that joy anymore. 

Emily laughed and tore at it, ripping the paper off and revealing the small book underneath. Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. 

“I read this as a kid,” Emily breathed, staring at the cover reverently.  

She opened the cover and looked through the first few pages. 

“L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux,” Emily quoted the novel just as the book shop clerk had done.

“What is essential is invisible to the eyes,” JJ translated. “I don’t really get it. I tried to read it before I gave it to you, but didn’t make much headway.”

“It’s about love,” Emily said as she flipped through the pages.

Emily slowly turned the pages, smiling down at the whimsical illustrations and murmured about it in French that JJ couldn’t quite make out.

“I could translate it for you if you want?” Emily offered.

“Is it as good in English?”

“No,” Emily said with a laugh. 

JJ beamed, happy that her gift was no longer making Emily upset. She hoped that whatever bad memories she had about birthdays were being amended with some joy from today. 

“Well then I just have to get better at French so that I can understand it,” JJ said. “I’ll need a good tutor.”

“This is an amazing present. Thank you JJ.”

They smiled at each other.

“I’ll read it to you,” Emily said, “And you can stop me and I can explain anything you don’t understand.”

JJ’s heart fluttered at the thought of Emily reading a love story out loud. Though, from what she saw it was about a boy being in love with a flower so it couldn’t be that romantic, could it? 

“Sounds like a plan,” JJ said. “Should we get back? I wouldn’t want to worry the others.”

Emily nodded, then the two of them stood up together. JJ’s legs had fallen asleep while sitting on the cold, tiled floor so she dramatically shook them out, making Emily laugh. 

God her laugh, she wanted to hear that forever. She’d do anything to keep Emily smiling and happy.

As they walked back to the party, it was Emily who took JJ’s hand. 

Maybe they could be friends. Maybe that would be enough. 

[mythykl]

UNSPOKEN,, *todoroki x (f) reader

Genre : fanfic, smut *aged up* (shoto is imagined to be 21yo or something,, and reader as 19yo)

rating : explicit, NSFW, 17+

Warning : fingering, oral?? todo is pretty horny overall. starts w a pretty intense bg story, so you gotta read through all that to get to the good stuff. cool.

words?? idk, it’s pretty lengthy tho.

our todoboi is a pretty lovin’ bf in here.

————————-

“I’m really sorry for yesterday, Y/N. I-I did’n-”

You clench your fists as you sit on the couch beside him, and interrupt, “Whatever it is- save it, I don’t blame you to begin with. I-I’m just mad. I’d spent almost a week for that chapter, to give justice and bring perfection in what I wanted to put across to the readers. Well- its not even about the time; I had thought through it so much, and atlas thought of typing it out yesterday- I mean- whatever crap that I had even written, I was proud of that- until,, your ignorant ass decided to show up in the room and fuckin’ switched off the computer assuming it’s already logged off, o-or whatever. You could’ve at-at least- fuck-” yup ya ass is livin’ in the worst nightmare of a writer, stay steady

You of course cried, and even threw a tantrum for an hour or so once you realized what had happened. But primarily, you were just mad- mad at yourself for not saving that damn file, and even at him cuz ofc. 

Todoroki certainly didn’t take it well, since he is sad at present, and can’t even look in your eyes. He apologized multiple times since last night and had even prepared a breakfast for you before leaving for work; on the other hand, you haven’t even answered to his appeals yet with clarity.

Out of the blue you just cup his cheeks, making him instantly look up- at you, and then get up with an audible sigh, “Go get ready, I’ll prepare our dinner by then.” That gesture somehow took him aback. 

He gets up instantly and blurts out in confusion, “I d-didn’t expect you to prepare a dinner for me, and on top of it- wait for me so we can have it together. You should’ve ate already, it’s almost midnight.”

You turn back to him, walking towards him to hold his hands, "I honestly don’t know what to reply. My heart- just thought it is the right thing to do that; one mistake isn’t enough to just hate you all of a sudden, Shoto. Moreover we are talking about this, it’s not like you’re being arrogant or things are left unsaid- and you’re genuinely sorry. I can see that in your eyes. I’m just- I don’t know. I’m depressed a bit- yes, but it can’t be helped now. I need some time to think, maybe.” 

Little did you know that your kind words pricked him like thousands of tiny needles against his skin. He loves you, and however seemingly ‘small’ mistake this might be, he hates himself for hurting you- the person he loves so dearly. He thinks of his mother, his complicated family life- which had made him seemingly unemotional. You were one of the people to break through that forged cold wall. He had finally accepted you as his reality than his mere escapism and live with you, but here he is- bringing tears and fueling anger in you, like a good for nothing- just like his father.

After a slight pause, he just busts his arms open and pull you close to him, in his warm embrace, “What did I possibly do to deserve such an angel?” He almost whispers in his beautiful voice.

An angel? 

“So talented, pretty, wonderful, real and warm. Remember. I love you. No matter what. I always will. And I respect you- your passion, interests, talent, likes and dislikes, freedom, strengths-weakness, your work, happiness- everything. Throw all the tantrums you want and cry all you want- more than just agreeing and being there for you- I’ll always make sure I understand you first. I’m sorry for being so ignorant lately.”

It may seem as if he’s crying, but he’s not. He said all that with a tough stance and gratefulness in his tone, a faint disbelief of having you as his significant other. While you just stood there, in surprise. You aren’t oblivious to his past and his journey through it. Is he blaming himself? or Is he again thinking that he doesn’t deserve happiness?- you’re at the loss of words and a mind fumbling all over the place. You simply subside the chaos, and hug him back. 

“We’re definitely working, Todoroki. Understanding each other more than just being in love- something that many fail to do. Isn’t this great?” You at last blurt out.

“Yes. I guess,” he says as he detaches himself from you, “I’ll be right back- until then, read what I’ll send you as you have dinner. Gonna sound stupid of me- but I already had dinner at office. I assumed that you’d not prepare a meal for me and- would be asleep by now as well.”

“Wow icyhot, I’m mad at you even more now,” you say playfully as you walk towards the kitchen.

“I-”

“Save it. You would be saying that for the millionth time now,” you chuckle as you grab your phone, lying on the dinner table.

Before serving your food, you decide to see the text, only to find an attachment with a rather strange message- ‘Hey, here’s an headcanon for chapter 37, that I wrote. Enjoy.’

Wait-

Headcanon??

Wait did he- read your wattpad book? And moreover, came up with a theory to what might happen in the ne- next chapter.

Nice. jk. Ofc you lost your shit

For the sake of getting back to senses, you legit do the deep breathing shit- which your therapist always recommended you to do.

Now what?

You serve yourself some noodles instantly, since you don’t feel hungry anymore, rush to the dining table and start chomping on the cold noodles as you open the attachment.

What made you almost throw up was that the mention of word counts. Which is 3k by the way, though no where near how much you usually write.

Shoto is definitely not the kinda guy to have read any wattpad books, or more specifically even have come across the word 'headcanon’.

He probably noticed how you mention it as well at the end, but decided to put it in the beginning,, for god knows what reason?? Or, he did decide to go through the fanons- which your readers’ posts on tumblr. This eases your nervousness, you clearly urge for more.

You swipe down, reading furiously fast, yet scanning every word and sentence- atleast twice. The chapter, honestly, was mediocre. He had ideas but couldn’t put them across- with excessive repetition of words, but he is almost close to-

“Honey, are you done?” Todoroki’s voice almost scares you. You look at your bowl ready to grab another bite- but you had already finished the meal.

“Earth to Y/N. Don’t tell me my words were that mesmerizing,” he says with a smile as he rubs his hair with a towel.

“Let’s be honest, though you don’t have the talent of a writer, your idea was- kinda similar to mine. What I’m sayin is that you almost. GOT. IT. RIGHT. Well, kuro did spy on KAORI’S house that unfaithful night, and he didn’t have any sources as such, which does mean that he is hiding his real quirk- but, no- I’m not telling you more than that.”

“Since you already know that I read all your chapters, and did like the book- I certainly can’t wait to understand why KURO would possibly do that.”

You just smirk off his curiosity; “You gotta wait boy,” you say as you as you walk back to kitchen counter with your bowl. Todoroki marches behind you to grab the cleaning cloth to clean the table, as you do the dishes.

“Put that towel in the washing machine, please.”

“Yup,” you almost feel an ounce of happiness in his reply. After he closes the machine’s door, you at last ask, "So what are your thoughts?“ It has never been one of you expectations for the people to you read your books or even, praise you for writing, but a review wouldn’t hurt, would it?

"Uhh- well, I love how everything is now just coming together, as one can foreshadow that the book’s gonna end. The use of words was elegant, and the plot is bewitching. Has been a while since I even read anything in thriller, that too- this good. Fuck. Reading kaori’s point of view just the day before the murder was- unbelievable. And characters, they all are just great.”

That is indeed a Todoroki kinda explanation. 

“Wow you did read all of tha-” but before you could complete your statement, shoto just grabbed your hips and stood tall behind you, now speaking in an extremely low tone, “And not to mention- the first sex between Kaori and Braun, it literally was like the depiction of ours. Except, they were awkward and slow, we weren’t.”

You pause. what took over him all of a sudden?

He continues, “That gave me a whole another perspective to what sex really means, and moreover what intimacy mean to you. It was.. surreal. Reading it, was as if- I’m living through that afternoon again, but with more emotions, and a bit more of you.”

“It’s not like I’ve explored much to actually wri-”

 “Oh, is that so?”

“I’m not complaining, of course, but these are the moments I believe must be left to cherish and our intimate times just feel more- sacred to me like this??” Sigh, “Ugh. Now, how do I explain?” Well, that is true, even though Todo and you’ve dated for almost two years now, it was just four months ago that you lost your virginity with him, on your nineteenth birthday. 

He had already lost his with the previous girl he was with. Though he never implied, it felt as if you were obliged to do it for him, due to your own insecurities. Once he got to know that, his reaction was nothing as what you had thought. He said that he loved you, and such things are nothing related to love; that sex is overrated, and continued on saying dorky yet adorable stuff like- cuddling was much better and what not. Since then, you had sex with him just thrice. None of you were really against this unspoken agreement, to not have-

Wait, an unspoken agreement?

Unspoken.

You instantly feel like an hypocrite, since you had just claimed to have nothing unspoken between you both.

Sudden a sharp pain in the skin of your neck brings you back to reality. Shoto is sucking on your skin, kissing ever so lightly. As if marking you.

An audible morn escape your parted lips as the bowl just falls on the kitchen sink. Todoroki leans forward and simply closes the tap and whispers, “So you do like to be 'submissive’, don’t you? Had this discovery while reading one of your books, 'Starless nights’.”

The exact book for which you had to watch vintage porn to make the chapters with intercourses more sensual and intresting.

Again, taking you by surprise, he simply turns you around as you continue stare at the ground with your hands wet, in front of you like dog’s pow.

“So I assume you liked my headcanon.”

“Yup; was much better than the crap I write, let’s go to-” but you’re interrupted-

“Now baby, we both know you’re the better writer, and that you just lied.”

“That was sarcas-” but he just pulls you closer and spanks you hard. You hiss as the pain spreads all over your butt cheeks.

“Never interfere, Y/N.” Wait wut-

Your immediate reaction was biting your lips- is he saying the words from the book? Not exactly inacting them but attempting to set a similar atmosphere, which you lowkey craved for in your wildest dreams.

“Since I’ve anyways taken this unspoken, unofficial oath of keeping you happy and stuff, now why not help you with some satisfaction- with all those juices flowing down your-”

You suddenly push him back and blurt while blushing hard, “Stop with this teasing and aw- awkward co- conversations todoroki! Fuckin’ juices, seriously? I’m not co- comfortable with-”

But then, you notice his right hand in your shorts. Or more like the sheer coldness against you clit, almost like there’s ice against it. When did his hand go in there? You end up clenching his T-shirt, as you jolt up on your toes.

“You. Clearly. Want. This. Don’t. You.” Suddenly, he pulls his hand out as he grabs your ass tight as he pulls you even further. Then, he brings his hand up to the height of you face and simply starts stares at the dampness on his fingers, “Wetter than I suspected." 

Now behold the unbelievable.

He keeps staring at his fingers, opens his mouth as he places his fingers into them and suck it as you watch this piece of art in awe.

"Can’t believe that I had you like- just thrice before this. You do live up to what I usually call you, honey.” He continues, “I hope you’ve noticed my creativity as well, as i used my coldness to.. nudge it.”

“You’re being quite quirky today, aren’t you?” This statement just makes him go still, and the next second he’s found laughing. His deep voice, almost reverberating in the silent room. He steps back, brings one hand to his face as he looks down and continues to laugh. The mere sight of him in this way gives you so much warmth, this is the moment you realize that this is the true home. With him.

When he finally looks up, the mere sight of you blushing so hard makes him lose his composure again, but this time it’s a nervous laugh. 

Approaching closer, you set your hands on his torso and continue, “That was quite execrable pun to chortle at, we were doing excellent just now-” but in reply, he simply cups his hand around your cheeks and say, “Shit y/n. You’re going to be the death to me,” and continues grinning like an airhead.

Why is he being annoying now? After so much sexual tension, how can he stop? In midst of you cursing yourself in your head, he leans at your height and kisses you.

Finally being out of patience, you look at the ground and stutter, “Ca-can we do i-it al-alrea-”

“Quite frankly, I’d like if you stay quiet, you shall take what I’ll give you, right?”

You look up immediately into his beautiful heterochromic eyes and say without any further doubts with a smirk, “Go ahead, Shoto, who am I to deny?”

“Sedective. umm, I like that.” he smirks too.

“Know that I love you,” and that’s it. Within one second, his hands are in your hair and his face is buried in your neck, digging deeper into you, as if uprooting releasing your soul from your body.

Skin glistening on your collar bone now and colours warming up on your cheeks, you whimper under his dominance, as he squeezes your waist and lightly nips against your shoulder. You shiver, with pretty evident  goosebumps, in spite of the heat you both bear at this point. 

Your breath gets hitched in your throat as he moves inwards below your collarbones. while his hands rest on your waist. You involuntarily climb a bit on him, intending to close the gap, but more to feel his manhood against you. Your hands firmly on his shoulders, almost pushing him back- maybe because it’s too much pleasure to feel at once. 

At another rise of your hips, Todoroki places his hand on your waist and pushes you back down, “Easy, easy princess,” he mummers before getting back to fiercely kissing me. You run your fingers through his hair, as you body slowly commences to accept an indeed new experience bombarded at you. 

Suddenly, you remember something. In heist, you shove him back and say, “Wait! We need to wash our hands- I- I mean we have just did chores. Well, at least partially and I need to wash myself- I mean I’m clean,” but then you stop to look at him just to find him in utter shock. 

“Shoto! I mean I want this but hygiene is impor- fuck. I’m. Such. A. Boner. Killer. Ain’t I?”

“Point made.” Todoroki picks you up in bridal style and rushes towards the bathroom.  for some reason i thought of adding this,, lmao

“Wait what-?”

“No time to waste.”

This makes you giggle a bit. You wash yourself while he as well washes his hands, and you practically pull him out of the bathroom, grab him by his collar and kiss him deeply as his hands slowly move up and down, feeling your torso- flesh untouched due to s mere knit. 

His hand unapologetically moves to the hem of your sweater, and further inside; but within one move of his, you stood there shivering, exposed. 

Immediately, you move forward in order to close the distance between you and shoto out of nervousness. His eyes drop down to your heaving chest and you’re painfully aware of that.

“Don’t. Don’t hide,” he mutters, grabbing a hold of your hands and locking them behind with one of his own for you to stay still; as he slides his other in your shorts. You feel his gentle hand running down the slit.

“Honey you’re dripping wet, what have i done to this innocence?” It seems that he expected a reply, but you didn’t. You just couldn’t. He then pulls the other hand to you face, diving in for yet another passionate kiss- accompanied by a battle of tongues this time. You are going breathless, but he refuses to move away.

The creasing in your folds level up to three fingers now,. He isn’t generous anymore, with aggressive circles in there, he finally commands, “Say my name.” 

“Sho-shoto.” Your moans only fuel in his lust and desires, his want, an indeed selfish want to have you all for himself, to offer the utmost satisfaction.

He pushes a finger into you as you instinctively let out a small breath hold his busy arm with both of your hands. This makes him push you against the wall with his free hand.

“M-my legs, it’s going numb,” on hearing this, he removes his own shirt and slightly repositions himself, with one hand now on the waist and the other back in there. He kisses your forehead as you look down, unable to keep up with his pace.

That’s when the coldness returns.

 “I- ah- can we ge-get to the bed first?” Your stuttered words only results in a widened smile from him. He is enjoying the sight, clearly in love with the effect he has on you. His head shakes, further sliding another finger inside you, “You can do it baby. You’re taking it all in without questioning.”

You nod quickly, as you start climb up a bit again. In return, he slowly curls his fingers- more and more with each passing second making you almost cry out this time, “Please n-no, this is too intense for me.”

“Yet my princess didn’t make Braun stop after that, I read in somewhere that Kaori secretly wished for him to not stop even if she said so. Just go on.”

You didn’t know how to come back at it, because it is true. You want your Shoto to push those limits you’ve set for himself, and you’d as well be fine if he simply throws off you cliff at this point. 

“Now now, spread your legs y/n.” 

Did he say something? You couldn’t listen. With eyes rolled back, you can’t comprehend anything to begin with.

“SPREAD YOU LEGS or else I won’t play nicely.” You’re eyes shoot up, and find his already searching for yours; before leaning in and gently kissing you. Your legs not being shut anymore, todo takes the opportunity, making his finger get stuffed deeper. His two digits start moving faster and harder, pounding against your walls- all while he feels you squirm to slow down.

“You can take it hun’,” he definitely knows what he’s doing, and you’re totally in for it. “Y-yes,” you moan softly. This is when he slides in a third finger, now really making you scream.

You attempt to gasp and struggle to stand, but then he says,”Stay,” as you unknowingly slide down the wall. Your nails dig in the skin of his back as you try to stable your stance on your tip toes yet eventually, your legs give out on you.

Suddenly, you feel him hit a spot which just pulls something inside your stomach. Todoroki on the other hand, notices your unusual hitched breath and starts hitting the SAME. EXACT. SPOT.

His free hand goes to the back and around your waist, holding you evermore tightly so that you won’t hurt yourself.

“I feel- like that- again-,” you manage to blurt.

“Like what?”

“Like pe-peeing, b-but different. Just like th-the last time we-”

He simply smirks, “We what?” He sighs and growls in your ear, “Is princess gonna squirt for me?”

Your body shudders against him as you moan his name, again and again, “Shoto, I-I-”

“That’s it. Squirt for me y/n,” with that he removes his hand entirely for one second, only to push two digits inside again, now thirsting harder and curling tighter; with his thumb against you slit. His hand grows even more colder, almost stinging down there, making you restless. 

“Now.”

He watches you open your mouth and moan loudly, as his hand only gets wetter, feeling you squirt against his hand. You shake hard in his hold. He doesn’t let you go. A tear escapes you eyes, but simply doesn’t seem to care,”Shoto, for some reason I-I feel s-so great wi-with yo-,” but you are interrupted as he shoves you further against the wall , sliding down your shorts and undergarment, again with three fingers in.

“That’s my good girl,” he praises you while curling those fingers inside and then removing them together. He further continues, “seems like you’re ready,“ as he rubs the wetness inside the slit, giving special attention to your clit.

Saying that, he kneels down, now facing lower abdomen and plants a kiss over there. You simply look down at him, still struggling to balance, searching for even a slightest hint to know what is there to come.

Maybe he’ll stand up an carry you to the bed? or How about making him feel better this time?

But then, his face smashes his face on your dampness; almost attempting to bury in it as he holds you up and pushes. your legs apart. You clearly know where this is going, todoroki will be showing no mercy whatsoever.

"That wasn’t even the start honey,” he confesses in midst of you moans and begs for him to go slow. It doesn’t hurt anymore as much as it gives an unbearable form of pleasure.

You moan and whimper, yet he continues to suck in your clit. You can feel a finger inside, or maybe two, as they go in and out. Practically shattering you all at once while fusing you once for all.

Your hand travel its way to his hair. Ruffled enough to make the red and the white parts almost indistinguishable.

Oh dear.

Though your eyes are close, hands are fumbling around for support and legs are strictly held in place by Shoto, yet you can feel his tongue moving. As if in patterns, not that you could figure out. It either went in for an eight or just licked off entirely as one does while eating an icecream. You moan his name again and again, the same sensation building up block by block as he paves deeper and denser.

“I can’t take this anymor-”

“What makes you think that’s gonna stop me from eating this pussy.”

Little do you know that shoto can’t hold back anymore, it’s not just that he is in control but he has lost control. At the sight of your dark flushed red cheeks, delicacy and vulnerability, he only gets faster and tougher on you. His other fingers reach around and grips your ass, with his fingers slightly grazing across your unused hole.

That’s it, that was enough for you to go stagnant again, in your mind atleast. Your legs start shaking, with your mouth parted yet again. Shoto quickly stands up, with fingers still inside, to help you stay stood up. You feel yourself about to pass out, but in actuality are fully awake and aware. He kisses you, now moaning with you as well, as he fingers you until you cum.

His teeth take in your lower lip as your eyes flicker up at his unmatched ones.

Shoto, with one hand against the wall, halts for a minute. He stands tall in front of you, while holding you as you struggle to stand.

In midst of huffed breaths, you manage to say, “I- I, I mean- can I make you feel good as well?” On listening thise words, he goes still, “Baby, you can barely stand.”

“Still-” but again, before you could say anything, he picks you up in bridal style and dropping you on the bed; letting you lay back while he removed his left over garments.

This is when his erect manhood is finally exposed, refilling your memories of your first time when you had simply wondered how would you take all of that in. You did, though it was painful. But this time you refuse to be scared by the length, you know this is going to feel the best and you’re willing to take him in, deep inside you.

Shoto sighs and walks to the bed, “No-”

“Shoto?”

“Tonight is about you. Let ME explore you.”

“I wa-wanna hug you,” you blurt out.

He giggles, “sure, all that my y/n wants shall come true.”

But when you attempt to get up, your legs just fail to response. Even the slightest movement feels like a bolt of electricity run through you. At the sight of you falling back on the bed, Shoto simply smirks and says, “By the looks of it, I think I did a pretty good job at pushing your limits.”

“Don’t- I can’t even walk.”

“Wait,” he climbs on the bed beside you, sitting with back against the headboard while you lie against him, still breathless, still attempting to move.

“Don’t move princess,” saying this, he carefully pulls you up, with your head on his thigh. He helps you sit up slowly, while embracing your body against him, and finally hugs you, like a child clenching onto his teddy favourite bear.

“You are so beautiful,” he says as he gets up, while eyes glued on you. He moves to the end of the bed and pulls you towards him as he climbs in again. His two digits reenter your dampness, almost making you hiss at first but it’s soon replaced with moans.

Your back arcs as you mumble, “Sho-shoto, I’m very sensitive ri-right n-now. ah-”

While on his part, he receives it as a signal to level up to the next stage. He slowly penetrates in, soon pacing up. Warmth filled in your hearts and sweat glinting the lustre. He repostions you both a couple of times, giving you different forms of pleasures with each go. 

You as well witness his fire quirk leaking out at times. He kisses you deeply and claims you as his own as he repeats the words, “I’ll never let you go.”

Now it’s past 3am, as your exhausted bodies lay next to each other; that’s when he whispers, “I love you.” Maybe he thinks you are already asleep, but you are not. He clearly can’t leave anything unspoken.

i hope this has left you baffled 

[lloydskywalkers]

Hey, I sent this ask once already but I don't think it went through??? (If it did I apologize for bugging you!) I read this fic you wrote a while ago about Lloyd and Ronin talking during season 5 after that part where Morro sends that fake message, and I'd like to read it again but I can't find it? Could you link it please? Sorry again for bothering you.

Hey no don’t worry about it, I’m glad you asked!! One, because I’m almost positive Tumblr ate your other ask; and two, because I am a hundred percent positive Tumblr also ate that particular fic :’) I was going to just repurpose it for a later season 5 fic, but I’ll go ahead and post it below the cut in case you’d like to read it a whole lot sooner XD

If Lloyd was any less exhausted right now, he’d have some choice words for Morro about shoving him in a cage, of all things. 

Because really, of all things, a cage? Again? Morro’s so proud of himself and his precious plan, he could at least get creative while he’s at it. Spice Lloyd’s life up a little every once in a while, instead of sticking with the same stupid routine every other person who’s ever gone after his powers has. 

But unfortunately, Lloyd is so bone-tired right now he doesn’t even know if he could manage a glare hot enough for Morro, and if he’s going to pick a fight with him, he’d like to be able to finish it without passing out from sheer exhaustion in the middle. He’s been humiliated enough, and he’s clinging to the meager shreds of his pride he has left with a stubbornness.  

A stubbornness that’s fading faster than he’d like, so when it takes Ronin three tries before Lloyd realizes he’s saying something to him, it feels a bit like rubbing salt in a wound. 

“Huh?” he manages, scrubbing at his eye and wincing as the bruise behind it throbs. His vision clears a bit, at least, enough to where Ronin stops looking as much like a brown blob on the floor and more like…well, Ronin, tied up on the floor. 

Right, he remembers, with a sinking pit of ice in his stomach. They’d used Ronin to send a message to the others. The thought of his team heading into a trap makes his stomach writhe into painful knots, and he struggles to sit up, as much as he can in the cramped cage. 

“I asked if you were alive up there,” Ronin’s saying. He still looks pale and shaken from when Morro possessed him earlier, but his voice sounds firmer than it did, less like the trembling rasp he’d tried to curse Morro out with before he’d left them both alone. 

Save your strength. I’ll be needing it. 

Morro’s words float through Lloyd’s head like particularly unwelcome knives, and he shoves the thought of what’s coming away.

“I’m—” his attempt at a reply cuts off in harsh coughing, his throat dry and scratchy from hosting Morro’s voice as much as he has. And probably from the lack of hydration. That might have something to do with it. “Yeah, m’alive,” he finally manages, his voice thin. 

“Figured that, with all the racket up there,” Ronin says, but there’s a note of relief in his voice. 

Lloyd doesn’t know what to say back to that, so he shuts his mouth, staring hazily at the bars of the cage as they blur and swim in his vision. Ronin doesn’t say anything either, save for an occasional huff as he twists his arms in his bonds, rubbing his hands together as if to quell the small tremors that still run through them. Lloyd studies him closer, how unnaturally grey his color still is, and his stomach twists again. He knows too well how that feels.  

Maybe he should have picked that fight. 

Lloyd bites his lip, slumping back against the cage bars. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, and he hates how young he sounds.

Ronin tilts his head up at him, the corners of his eyes creasing. “What are you sorry for?” he says. “You’ve got it a lot worse than me, kid.”

“Well— maybe, but—” Lloyd stutters. “It’s my…if I hadn’t…I should’ve fought back. When he possessed you, and…everything else.”

“In your shape?” Ronin eyes him, and Lloyd shrinks under his scrutiny. “You look like death warmed over. In a busted microwave. Nice sentiment, kid, but there’s no sense in gettin’ yourself trashed for me.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten trashed,” Lloyd mutters, crossing his arms tighter around himself.

“Yeah, you would’ve, already have,” Ronin scoffs. “You’re just like the rest of ‘em, suicidal hero kids, all of you.”

“I’m the Green Ninja,” Lloyd snaps, hoping desperately that Ronin doesn’t catch the waver in his voice. “I’m not — I should be able to take him. I shouldn’t be here, I should—“

“Please,” Ronin cuts over him, sounding tired. “You’re what, ten?”

Lloyd blinks rapidly, before scowling. “I’m fourteen.”

“—fourteen, FSM help me.” Ronin runs a hand over his forehead, trailing it down to pinch the bridge of his nose. He shakes his head, going silent for a beat.

“Fourteen,” he repeats, voice quieter. “FSM.”

Lloyd doesn’t know what to say back to that, either. He feels very small and a bit stupid, which is kind of how he’s been feeling all the time lately, and he’s not a fan. 

“Still should’ve stopped him,” he finally mumbles, wrapping his arms around his legs so he can rest his chin on his knees. 

“You couldn’t’ve stopped him,” Ronin says, bluntly. “Morro’s crazy, kid. He’s hellbent on that Green Ninja thing, and he’s the kinda hellbent that gets people killed.”

Lloyd frowns. “It’s my title. It’s my job, I want to be able to keep it—“

“Could you kill someone for it?”

Lloyd flinches back, eyes going wide. “Wha— no! No, I couldn’t — wouldn’t, I’m not — I don’t—“

“There you go, kid,” Ronin sighs, cutting over Lloyd’s floundering. “Morro doesn’t care how many people he has to get rid of, so long as he gets that gi. He’s always gonna have that upper hand on you. Different playing fields.”

Lloyd stares at him, taken aback. He’s never thought about it like that before, and he doesn’t think he’d like to. Just because Morro’s more — more bloodthirsty, or whatever, doesn’t mean he’s stronger. It doesn’t mean Lloyd won’t fight for the green gi.

Lloyd presses his lips together. “That doesn’t mean — I’d still fight for it. I-I’d die for it, if I had to.”

“I bet you would,” Ronin snorts, without humor. “But you won’t kill anyone else. Death is only on the board if it’s yours. You’re the worst kind of selfless type, I’ve seen it before.”

Lloyd chews on his lip, at a loss. Talking with Ronin is confusing, he decides, too confusing for the headache that’s building behind his eyes, at least. He keeps ending up lost for words, and he doesn’t like that. Doesn’t like feeling wrong-footed, though that’s definitely nothing new—

“You shouldn’t,” Ronin suddenly says. 

“Huh?”

“Die for it,” he continues, sounding insistent now. “You shouldn’t. Don’t. Your life’s worth a lot more than some scrap of green, kid.”

Lloyd tilts his head, momentarily thrown by the direction the conversation’s turned. “I…I don’t want to,” he admits, weakly. “I just—“

“Then don’t,” Ronin interrupts, bluntly. “Stay alive. Fight dirty if you have to, you’re Garmadon’s kid. Don’t let your family’s never-ending fling with destiny take you down with ‘em.”

“That’s not — I’m not trying to die,” Lloyd insists, irritated now. 

“And you got people waiting for you,” Ronin continues, ignoring him. “Your team, y’know, they’re real anxious to get you back.” A flicker of emotion crosses his face, almost like regret. “They’re uh. Puttin’ up a real fight for ya, kid.”

Lloyd squeezes his eyes shut tightly, fighting back the sudden burn. “I know they are.” 

“Good thing, then. So just, uh. Don’t give up on ‘em, okay? Be a real shame if they gave me this much trouble for nothing.”

Yeah, I’ll bet they gave you trouble, Lloyd thinks, his throat tightening. He shakes his head, blinking back the burn in his eyes. Enough. His family’s out there, fighting for him, and that’s enough for him. 

“I’m not gonna die,” he says fiercely, dragging the fire that’s left in him from the smoldering embers in his chest. “I’m gonna beat him. And then I’m going to end the Cursed Realm, before it ever gets here. And I am not. Going to die.”

Ronin’s eyes flash with an emotion Lloyd can’t name, but he nods, seemingly satisfied. He turns away, the scars on his cheek standing out as he stares through the clouded window. 

“You know what’s in the Cursed Realm, right, kid?”

Ronin’s voice is gravely, rough in ways that makes Lloyd think of the hardened kind of people he’d run into on the streets occasionally. People who were used to life going the worst way possible, and were ready for it. He used to want to be one of those people. Now he thinks he might be scared he’s going to get his wish. 

But there’s an undercurrent of what could be sympathy in Ronin’s voice, if Lloyd looks for it. He swallows.

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “Yeah, I know.”

“You good with ending that, too?”

Lloyd swallows again, and this time it gets stuck in his throat.

“I have to be, I guess,” he whispers.

Ronin closes his eyes, leaning his head back against the wooden wall, and Lloyd feels kind of like he used to when he’d turn a test in at Darkley’s, and had no idea whether he’d passed or failed. “S’what I thought.”

Lloyd turns his head away, biting his lip hard enough to taste metal. 

He doesn’t know what to say to that, either, so he doesn’t say anything more. 

He’s supposed to be saving his strength, after all. 

[woozi]

*waves* hello… I had a question today, hope you don’t mind :) as someone who makes gifs, what type of like… performance stages do u tend to enjoy the most? bc a few months ago I got bored and started like. going thru svts performances and relentlessly judging the camerawork with my unfounded opinions lol so I was wondering if as a gifmaker u might have a unique perspective of that! like sometimes they have those cameras that will like follow the members (idk the right term) and other times they won’t, and sometimes the lighting is going crazy etc which I assume affects gifmaking… so yeah, I was just wondering! - car crash anon (as an aside, i /think/ I sent u an ask a while ago but also I was really sleep deprived so it may have been my imagination as to whether I actually sent it… im saying this bc I’d like to know if it was a) a real thing I did, which if so… I apologize for my incoherence and b) if it was not real / tumblr ate the ask… I hope I’m not pestering u, it just was. bothering me bc I didn’t have the clearest memory)

(im answering this based on the assumption that we're talking abt stages from shows mubank, emca and the like bc other perfs like the acoustic sessions are a whole different section for me tbh JFDJKDFJK)

ok first of all,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, giffing perf stages is an absolute nightmare but i would do it again and again even if it looks like shit bc they're always soOO fun yet so. fucking. hard. to color and smoothen (esp now that i dont have knlm anymore </3) JKFDJKFJDFJFD

i like it when there's camera movement but these music shows are going thROUGH SO MANY FUCKING HOOPS a lotta the times oh my god. they make stages much more enjoyable to watch when done right tbh. i personally think aespa is the best example of this!! movement makes it so fucking hard to frame gifs though JKDFJFDJK basically high risk high reward if u can pull it off tbh

ALSO YES OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, THE LIGHTING,,,,,,,,,,, i mean its necessary for the stage and i absolutely love lights (not when theyre excessively flashing though,,,) but they also make gifmaking so hard,,,, almost 100% of the time u gotta adjust it per gif 😭

but yeah u know by the end of the day we're all just making gifs for free bc we enjoy it so <3 10/10 would suffer for no reason again LMAOOO

also yes, love, omg it was not a fever dream bc i did receive it!! although i cant guarantee this if ever you've sent other ones bc tumblr really does eat up asks and one of my friends have also been sending me some for a while now and i wasnt able to get ANY of them 😭 i just figured out when she sent me a dm oh my fucking god. this website. BUT ALSO SOMETIMES!!! it just takes me a while to reply, teehee. but thank you for being patient with me!! <3 and you are NOT A BOTHER AT ALL OMG 😭😭😭 im sad that you'd even think so </3 i genuinely love talking to u u dont have to worry abt it at all!! <3 i hope you never get shy abt coming to me, i really like seeing u around!! and you've been w me for so long by now </3 ANYWAY!! thank u for dropping by again ily and i hope ur having a great one!!

[charincharge]

Cruel Summer, Part 4

cruel summer masterlist

AN: Sorry about last chapter’s tag list! It seems like only half of you got notified, so, if you did not read Part 3 (it was posted Sunday), go back and read that one first, and apologies for my lack of Tumblr tech skills. I think it is fixed. FINGERS CROSSED. Okay, onward. 

Aelin sips her coffee and silences her phone as it buzzes continually on the kitchen table. It’s been going off for the last two days with texts from Dorian. She lied and told him she wasn’t feeling well to give herself some space. But she knows she can only fend him off for maybe one more day or so.

Park today?

His latest text reads. It’s not that she doesn’t want to spend time with Dorian. She does. She really does. But, she’s just not feeling up to going to the park yet. She knows he’ll want to spend all day there, and she’s feeling less than enthused about that. And she’s sure that has absolutely nothing to do with a tall silver-haired employee she spent the better part of Monday avoiding. Nope. Nothing at all.  She replies quickly.

Still sick. In bed with a fever :(

“Liar!” Dorian calls, rounding the corner to the kitchen.

Aelin grumbles as she takes a large bite of her toaster waffle. “How’d you get in here?”

Dorian slides into the kitchen chair next to her and lays his head down on the table, looking up at her with the saddest, biggest puppy dog eyes he can manage, and innocently holds up the small gold key that usually resides under the flowerpot next to the front door. Aelin grabs it back and lays her head on the table next to him. They stare at each other, their faces a few inches apart, Dorian’s eyes wide with wondering at Aelin’s frowning.

Dorian smirks and brings his hand up to boop her nose softly. Aelin scrunches her nose, but she can’t help but crack the smallest of smiles at her best friend’s efforts.

“You’ve been in a mood since Monday. What’s the deal?” he asks. “It wouldn’t happen to have to do with the red lipstick fiasco? Don’t think I didn’t notice you went back upstairs to put it on.”

“No,” Aelin scoffs, her false bravado kicking in as she pushes herself upright. “Of course not. I just remembered I had a matte stay all day lipstick, and it went better with my outfit.”

Dorian lifts himself up and stares at Aelin, his brow furrowing as he goads her, “So not wanting to go to the park has absolutely nothing to do with the hot hot silver-haired staff member you were making eyes at all day?” Dorian sighs. “Come on, Aelin. Tell meee,” he pleads. “I already know.”

Aelin flips her hair over her shoulder as she places her mug into the sink. “I’m sorry, Dor.”

“You’re the one who’s going to be sorry,” he says. “Because if we’re not going to the park, I’m going to need full details on your hot piece. And the side dish he brought with him.”

It suddenly clicks for Dorian. “Ohhhh, you’re disappointed he brought a date?” Dorian smirks. “Aelin. Not everyone can be single at your behest.”

She crosses her arms, annoyed. This is why she wanted one more day to herself. She didn’t want to talk about Rowan and his stupid rude girlfriend with her dark hipster makeup and beautifully inked skin and brightly dyed hair. If that was Rowan’s type, she had no shot of getting his attention. Not that she hadn’t tried. With the white bathing suit, and playing rough with the boys in the deep end and overzealously clinging onto Dorian’s back. Still, he hadn’t said a damn thing to her until the party ended, and only by accident.

“No,” Aelin lies. Dorian looks at her, unblinking. “Stop that.”

“You can’t let one little staff member prevent you from going to the park. It’s Ashryver Playland, and you’re Aelin fucking Ashryer. It’s your park. Let’s go reclaim our stomping grounds. Please?” he begs again, his sapphire eyes looking up at her through his thick fringe of lashes. “I promise I’ll shield you if we see him.”

“Fine.”

Dorian’s blinding smile is almost worth it. She tells him she’ll be right back and runs upstairs to get dressed for the day. She might put a little more effort into it than she would for just Dorian, but there’s no harm in looking cute. She braids her hair into two French braids and wiggles into a hot pink crop top and her overall shorts. She dons a full face of makeup, finishing with a pink lipstick, and finally makes her way down to where an impatient Dorian is waiting.

He holds out his arm for her, smartly not commenting on her outfit, and Aelin slips her arm through, linking them together for the fifteen minute walk down the beach to the Playland.

They’re greeted at the ticket booth by Fenrys, who is working behind the counter. He blushes upon seeing the approaching pair, and it makes Aelin smile. He hasn’t been quiet about his crush on both her and Dorian, which she thinks they would both be all over if he weren’t four years their junior. He’s shockingly good-looking with deep tanned skin and shoulder-length golden hair. He flashes them a toothy smile and Aelin can’t help but grin back, her mood lightening.

“Ah, the king and queen of Playland.” He pulls out unlimited wristbands for them. “Happy Summer.”

“Hey, handsome, happy summer,” Aelin says with a wink as he tapes on her wristband.

“Aelin, when are you going to let me take you out and make me the happiest man in Terrasen?” Fenrys asks, and Dorian snorts.

“Man? You’re not even old enough to grow facial hair,” Dorian teases, rubbing his thumb against Fenry’s bare cheek. It blooms with a rare blush under Dorian’s touch.

“I just turned twenty-one, so, who knows? Maybe this year is the year,” Fenrys says as he puffs out his chest. He bursts into laughter. “Yeah, yeah. I know you’d never date a staff member anyway. No shitting where you eat and all that.”

“Sure,” Dorian smirks. “That’s the reason.”

Aelin grabs at Dorian’s hand, pulling him away and waves goodbye to Fenrys, ready for the day.  Aelin leans her head on her friend’s shoulder, her heart feeling ten times lighter. She’s buoyant, actually. She skips into the park, pulling Dorian along as she makes her way toward their first ride.

They make their way toward the biggest ride in the park – the Firecoaster, a rickety wooden rollercoaster built nearly a century ago. It’s Aelin’s absolute favorite ride in the park, so they do it first every single time, despite Dorian’s constant criticism of it (it’s too shaky, it’s too old, why haven’t they replaced the cars in a literal hundred years?).

But as they arrive at the ride she sees a short crop of silver hair at the entrance, letting people onto the coaster. Naturally.

“Maybe we should come back to the coaster later,” Aelin suggests, and Dorian’s eyebrow lifts in question.

“You know I won’t go on this ride in the dark,” Dorian replies, and Aelin nods. She really wants to go on this coaster. But with Rowan letting people on, there’s absolutely no way to avoid him.  “Is he up there?” Dorian whispers and tugs at one of Aelin’s pigtails.

Aelin doesn’t answer, still unsure of how she’s going to handle the whole situation. Dorian grabs her hand and pulls her into the line. With people piling in behind them, they’re immediately stuck.

“What the hell?” Aelin hisses, but Dorian simply shrugs.

“You’re taking back your ground!” he says exuberantly.

Aelin knows he’s right, but her stomach still feels like she ate a box of rocks with how heavy it is suddenly. She watches intently as Rowan performs his job, dutifully ushering everyone into the wooden coaster cars and making sure they’re safely secured before they take off. He’s not particularly friendly, Aelin notices. He's not the kind of staff member who smiles at each person with a customer service grin, but she does take note that at he makes sure to help the smaller kids in and out with one of his steadying hands.

The line moves far too quickly, and within minutes they’re at the top of the line. Aelin knows she should look away, but as she makes her way onto the platform, she keeps her eyes trained on Rowan. When he finally turns and meets her gaze, his dark green eyes widen slightly with surprise. Aelin swallows, her mouth suddenly feeling completely parched as they share a charged, wordless stare.

It’s interrupted by the last coaster coming to a stop suddenly on the tracks before them, and Rowan scrambles to attention to help the group exit the car. Dorian pushes Aelin into the first row of the empty car, and she stumbles forward, throwing her best friend a dirty glare.

Aelin straps herself into the cart, pulling the seatbelt across her lap and clicking it securely in place.

“Everyone, hands up,” Rowan says, and he starts from the back of the car, tugging at the seatbelts to ensure the passengers’ safety.  

By the time Rowan reaches the front row, Aelin’s heart is pounding in her chest, and it has absolutely nothing to do with her excitement to ride the rollercoaster.

Rowan squats down and leans his torso across Aelin, his arm lightly brushing against the front of her overalls as he reaches over her to tug on Dorian’s seatbelt. Satisfied that it’s in place, Rowan pulls back slightly, his brows furrowed and his lips twisted into a thin straight line. His head is so close to hers, she can feel his breath fan across her neck as he exhales. Despite the hot sun overhead, goosebumps break out across her arms. What the hell?

“Hey, you’re Rowan, right?” Dorian pipes up, and Aelin sends him a murderous glare as the silver-haired man looks up with a suspicious frown on his face.

“Uh, yeah. I am,” Rowan says, turning his attention to Aelin’s lap.

“Aelin’s told me so much about you,” Dorian continues, ignoring his best friend’s death stare. “Maybe we could all go out soon? Since we didn’t get to meet at the party.”

Rowan looks perplexed as he adjusts his position again to check Aelin’s seatbelt. “Um, maybe? I’m kinda busy… with work.”

Aelin is going to kill Dorian. She shifts in her seat to question him, right as Rowan reaches down to tug at her seatbelt, and she accidentally throws him off balance. Rowan falls forward a tiny bit and his hand darts out to brace himself. It comes to rest on Aelin’s knee, the rough pads of his fingers clutching against her bare skin, and if Aelin weren’t restrained, she thinks she may have jumped out of the car in shock.  

“Sorry!” Rowan apologizes, snatching his hand back in pain, as if she were on fire and he’d just burned himself.

“It’s fine,” Aelin says, her voice sounding breathy to her own ears. She’s positive she’s blushing all the way down to her chest, but she refuses to look.

“Sorry,” he says again, his voice filled with apology.

She’s about to reassure him again, but he’s already walking back to the controls. Aelin looks over her shoulder to get one more look at the man who literally took her breath away with a single touch, but she can’t think about it for long.

Because soon she’s flying forward. The wind rushes across Aelin’s face, swirling around her with each twist and turn of the coaster. Laughter bubbles up from her chest, and she squeals loudly as they hit the first drop. She closes her eyes and lets the ride take her up, up and away, making her heart race.

Just as quickly as it took off does it come to a halt. Aelin unclips herself quickly and runs as fast as she can on her unsteady legs, away from Rowan’s prying gaze. As soon as she’s far enough away from the ride, she whirls around and socks Dorian in the arm. Hard.

“OW!” He clutches at his shoulder.

“Maybe we could all go out soon?” Aelin parrots his words back at him. “What the fuck, Dor?! What happened to being my shield?”

Dorian rubs his arm, slowly stoking the pain out of his dead arm. “I was doing recon. Notice he didn’t say he had a girlfriend.”

“I hate you,” Aelin says, going to punch his other arm, and Dorian runs, cowering from her absurd superhuman ability to find the most painful spot to punch.

“You love me!” he shouts as he sprints toward the log flume.

The pair chase each other from ride to ride, making the most of their day in the park. Aelin only spots Rowan once more, after his shift change, taking tickets at the Skyflyer – a ride she and Dorian have sworn never to go back on after they both tried it in high school and puked their guts out afterwards. So, conveniently, she doesn’t have to deal with that whole situation again. Which is good, because it’s starting to stress Aelin out. She’s never this strung out about a guy. Ever. Especially one that isn’t single and is definitely uninterested.

By the time the sun is setting, Aelin is more than ready to go home. She could use a long soak in the bath and a good night’s sleep. But Dorian insists on one more ride. Aelin agrees, but only if Dorian promises to buy her fried dough with Nutella on it for dessert after.

Dorian’s smile lights up his face as he pulls her towards the bumper cars. Aelin might have a little too much fun crashing into his car over and over again.

With a scoop of Nutella in her mouth, Aelin sees a shock of silver hair, finally coming in for the end of his day. She watches as he crosses the field and makes his way into the employee break room, her eyes following the motion of his lithe body. God, now that she knows what he looks like without a shirt on, she can’t stop imagining the way his tattoo crept up his taut abs, over his wide shoulders, and trailing down the side of his muscular back. It’s not fair. Why did he have to be in a relationship already? She licks her lips, tasting the warm chocolatey hazelnut spread and hums in pleasure as she imagines licking it off other places…

“Elide!” Dorian shouts, calling over their friend and breaking Aelin out of her hormone-induced trance. Elide runs over with a smile on her face for the pair.

“I’m sorry I barely saw you both at the party,” Elide apologizes immediately, but Aelin and Dorian wave her off.

“You were celebrating. With Lorcan, right? Please say yes,” Aelin says with a cheerful smile and offers a bite of her dough to Elide.

“I actually spent most of the time with a friend of mine I hadn’t seen in a few years,” Elide admits as she takes the piece from Aelin. “She used to be my RA. She’s the best. I hope you met her.”

“Really?” Dorian asks. “That’s so much fun. Who?”

“Manon Blackbeak?” Elide continues, oblivious to Aelin stiffening next to her at the table. “She came with a new guy, Rowan. She’s his roommate. Isn’t that such a crazy coincidence?” Elide rambles.

Dorian looks to Aelin and mouths “roommates” with a smirk.

“Roommates?” Aelin asks, her voice tight. “Is that all they are? Because I got kind of a datey vibe from them.” Aelin tries to keep her face impassive, but can’t when Dorian snorts at her. Aelin has forgone subtlety today, apparently.

“No, that’s impossible,” Elide says resolutely with a shake of her head.

“Because roommates have never gotten together before?” Aelin asks, her voice haughty with ridicule.

“No. Because they both like women,” Elide says with a laugh. “Or at least Manon does.”

Dorian bites his lip and looks at Aelin. His eyes frantically connect with hers before looking back at Elide, who is completely unaware of the bomb she’s just dropped.

“Is that so?” Dorian asks, and Elide nods.

“Oh yeah. Manon is a gold star and proud of it.” Elide looks at her watch. “Shit, I have to clock out. But I want to catch up with both of you later, okay? Find me next time you’re in the park?”

“Yuppp,” Aelin drawls. “Bye, babe!” Aelin waves as Dorian practically drags Aelin out to the parking lot, his torso doubled over in laugher.

Aelin frowns. “It’s not that funny.”

“It’s hilarious,” he says, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. “Here you were all worked up about your prince Charming having a girlfriend and she’s gay. What gave you the impression they were dating?”

“I don’t know. He brought a hot blonde to my house?” Aelin sighs. Rowan did introduce Manon as his friend. “Oh my god, I get it,” she squeaks.

“What?”

“She said this thing about keeping two of her nails short, and… I’m am so stupid.”

Dorian laughs at her, hard, and wraps his arms around her shoulders. “So, what now? Want help reeling in your man?”

Aelin smiles as she sees Rowan climbing into a beat up truck halfway down the parking lot.  “No,” Aelin shakes her head as she links arms with Dorian again. “I think I’ve got it.”

~*~*~*~*~

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[clawsandblood]

5 - Betrayal

link to ao3

first part on Tumblr  previous part on Tumblr

It was only sometime next morning that Borna’s phone lit up with the notification of a message from Dorian. The actual message was read even later, after both Borna and Steven dragged themselves out of their beds into the kitchen to eat their breakfast.

animal carcasses bleed a lot 🤷

was hauling it off the road 💦 💦  with the other guy 😑  and got the worst of it 😭😢

thanks for pretending u dont know me 🙏🙏 

lowkey saved me 🙏🙏🙏 

ur a real bro 👊 💯

Borna showed Steven the messages after explaining the events of the previous night.

“Did he just bro-fist you?” Steven asked incredulously.

“That’s what she said,” Borna replied automatically. “But yeah, apparently he did.”

Steven threw his hands up. “Why must everyone be so shady?” he complained loudly.

His hand narrowly missed his mug, which Borna automatically moved further away from the edge of the table.

“Do you think he’s got anything to do with Madam Reid and her organization?” Borna asked.

Steven shrugged. “There’s only one way to find out,” he said.

Borna nodded. “Go to that super secret meeting.”

“No!” Steven was looking at him, scandalized. “We can just go over to his place, corner him again and-”

“Torture him for information?” Borna finished the sentence.

Steven snorted. “Sure, we can have a karaoke night until he caves in.”

They ate in silence for a minute.

“But for real, what do we do?” Steven asked. “Shit is getting really weird.”

Borna shrugged. “We’ve got two leads, you could go bug Dorian and I can go to that meeting.”

“We can both go bug Dorian and you won’t have to go there.” Steven was looking at Borna hopefully.

“You really don’t want me to go, do you?” Borna asked.

Steven huffed. “I just don’t like the idea of you going by yourself to a shady event hosted by shady people.”

“The whole werewolf thing necessitates some degree of shadiness,” Borna pointed out. “They can’t advertise this shit without getting caught.”

“But-” Steven sighed. “Why do you think this is so hush-hush? It’s not like existing as a werewolf breaks any laws.”

Borna gave him a long-suffering look. “Because why would people react badly to people that are different from them.”

“Ah.” Steven deflated. “Nevermind, that was dumb.” He chewed his lip. “I’ll ask Dorian to meet up,” he finally said. “Friday is soon and I’d like to do this before the… meeting.”

“Okay,” Borna said, defeated.

Steven’s fingers flew over the screen and then he put down his phone. He barely set it down when it buzzed. Steven picked it up and showed Borna the message.

yea 💯💯

im free after 4

just say where

loved hanging out with u 2 👌 👌  despite the bar fight n shit 😀 👊

“He’s got no idea, does he?” Borna asked after reading the texts. “And why does he text like a fuckboy?”

Steven sighed deeply. “Who would have thought a self-proclaimed caveman would be prone to overusing emojis.”

“We could go tomorrow?” Steven suggested. “I’d run then straight to work.”

Borna nodded. “I’ve got the morning shift, I’ll be free by then.”

Steven took his phone again and typed the message. “Asked for tomorrow at half past,” he announced.

The phone immediately vibrated. Steven unlocked it and made a face.

“He can’t?” Borna asked.

“No.” Steven showed Borna the screen, his face screwed up in distaste. “It’s just the fucking emojis.”

totally 👌 💯

cant wait 😁 😘

“Jesus,” Borna said.

---

They met up at Dorian’s apartment again, Steven all winded from climbing four flights of stairs. Dorian welcomed them both awkwardly, but enthusiastically, showing them in.

“What’s the occasion?” he asked cheerfully, taking out some glasses from the cupboard. “Anything to drink?” he offered. “Beer? Coffee?”

“Just water, please,” Steven replied, still wheezing slightly.

Dorian rambled as he filled up Steven’s glass, a jittery quality to his motions. “I hope you don’t mind that it’s kinda messy, I never have guests, and I didn’t have time-”

“It’s fine,” Borna said. Aside from one wayward blanket on the floor and an overflowing ashtray they were sitting in an almost pristine room. It looked like an aged up, scaled down, mismatched version of rooms from furniture catalogues. Almost as if a child would try to make a collage of their dream home with expectations based purely on 70s soviet interior design.

Dorian finally settled down on the sofa.

“We need to talk,” Steven said without a preamble.

Dorian’s face fell. “About what?”

“Start with why were you sitting in a car, covered in blood, pretending not to know Borna,” Steven said.

Borna pulled out Madam Reid’s business card. “Does this mean anything to you?”

Dorian’s eyes widened. “So she is here!” he exclaimed. Taking a moment to compose his face into something resembling neutrality, he gave the card back. “She’s…” He stopped, closing his mouth and opening it again. “My boss?”

“Is she your boss or is she your boss, among other things?” Borna asked.

Dorian gave him a long look. “She probably told you, didn’t she?” he asked.

“Told him what?” Steven cut in.

“She probably didn’t tell you,” Dorian said. “You’re not… you know.”

“A werewolf?” Borna asked bluntly.

Dorian nodded. “I don’t know if I should talk about this with-” He gestured to Steven. “Sorry, man,” he added sheepishly.

“If you don’t tell us both now I’ll tell him later,” Borna said.

Dorian met both their unmoving stares. “Okay, okay,” he mumbled. “So you know that there’s this organisation connecting all the werewolves, right?” 

They both nodded.

“Well, we need to make sure none of us gets revealed to the general public.” Dorian sighed wearily. “And this also includes taking care of the feral ones.”

“Feral?” Steven had concern written all over his face.

Dorian shrugged. “Some get so caught up in the euphoria of the wolf form they don’t want to change back,” he explained. “With time they completely forget who they are. Can cause a whole lot of trouble.”

“And what do you do with those?” Steven asked, voice low and wary.

“We shoot them.”

Borna placed a hand on Steven’s shoulder, who was already ready to launch himself at Dorian.

“And when were you going to tell us about that, huh?” Steven snarled. “Don’t you think that’s an important detail to mention?”

Borna pulled him to lean back on the couch. “How common is that?” he asked.

Dorian shook his head. “Not very. Last night was the first call in months.”

“So that’s why you were covered in blood that night.”

Dorian nodded. “We accidentally hit him with the car and then Gary finished him off with a bullet. It was quick, but burying the body was messy.”

Borna nodded thoughtfully. “Is that all you do under Reid?”

“No, not at all.” Dorian’s face cleared up, his demeanor losing the gloom. “It’s kind of like a… support network, you know? There’s things that we have to take care of for the good of the whole community, but if you’ve got problems, even if they’re completely unrelated, you’ll get help!”

Steven and Borna exchanged dubious glances. “That sounds very good,” Borna slowly said.

“Too good,” Steven concluded. “Where’s the catch?”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “There’s no catch, we just have to stick together, you know?” He shrugged. “Like we all immediately decided to stick together after finding out we’re all trans!”

“Sounds legit,” Borna said.

Steven huffed indignantly, but refrained from commenting.

“Is the interrogation over?” Dorian asked. “I was actually really looking forward to spending some time with people that aren’t my coworkers, but not like this.”

“One last thing,” Steven said.

Dorian groaned.

“Do you know about anything happening on Friday?”

Dorian nodded. “We’ve got the monthly meetup. Why?”

“I’m invited,” Borna answered.

“Shit.”

“And why is that bad?” Steven asked sharply.

Dorian took a deep breath. “Turning other people without any consultation within the group is generally… frowned upon,” he said. “It would be best if we pretended that we don’t know each other.”

“And why don’t they want you to turn people without their approval?” Steven asked.

“Recklessness. Bad characters.” Dorian shrugged. “Better to have others take a look to make sure no one too problematic ends up with powers.”

Borna nodded. “And if it happens anyway?”

“I don’t know, never saw anything like that happen.”

“Until you did me.”

“Until I did you.”

“That’s what she said,” Steven mumbled absent-mindedly. Then he looked upon the clock on his phone. “Shit, I’m gonna be late!”

He got up, making sure that he had everything he needed with himself. “Work,” he explained when Dorian shot him a puzzled look.

“You too?” Dorian asked, looking over to Borna who also got up, getting ready to leave, but Dorian’s question made him pause. “No.”

“Then you could stay for a bit?” Dorian asked. “If you don’t have anywhere to be?”

Steven shot him a glare, but Borna shrugged and put down his jacket. “Sure,” he said, ignoring Steven’s tightly pressed lips.

Dorian and Borna walked Steven to the doors, saying goodbye, Dorian valiantly trying to melt Steven’s icy demeanour.

“Stay safe,” Borna said, patting Steven on the back. 

“You too.”

Steven didn’t need to give Dorian an extra glare to demonstrate what he meant, but he did it anyway.

After the doors closed Dorian let out a breath. “He really doesn’t like me, huh?” he said awkwardly.

“Biting people, turning them into werewolves and failing to explain key elements tends to invoke that reaction, yeah,” Borna replied dryly.

Dorian shot him a sheepish gaze. “Sorry?”

Borna snorted. “It’s alright, he’s taking it way worse than I am, honestly.”

They returned to the living room.

“You sure you wouldn’t like a beer?” Dorian asked. After a moment’s thought Borna nodded. “If you’ll have one,” he said.

They sat down on the couch again, much less tense than before.

“So what is it like?” Dorian asked.

Borna took a sip. “It’s still so early,” he said. “Spent last few days feeling like shit.”

Dorian nodded in sympathy. “Those weren’t fun for me either.”

“How long has it been for you?”

“A few years,” Dorian answered, his face growing more solemn. “They found me at a… bad time. Helped immensely.”

Borna nodded wordlessly. Dorian was staring in front of himself, fingers toying with the edge of the label on his bottle.

“I was stuck with my shitty family, failing my studies, closeted as hell. Would start fights with people just to feel something.” Smiling wryly, he looked up back at Borna. “One night I started a fight with one of the wolves but we somehow befriended each other. It was him who suggested to turn me.”

Borna nodded. “It sounds like they really helped you.”

“They did, it’s just so…” Dorian trailed off. Then he leaned forward, smiling conspiratorially. “Don’t you feel more in charge of your life?” he asked, voice low, but fervent. “Don’t you feel like you own your body more than you ever did before?”

“I…” Words died on Borna’s lips.

“I’ve seen how you two came here today,” Dorian said, sounding a touch more like his usual self. “You didn’t break a sweat, meanwhile Steven was huffing like a steam train from all the stairs.”

“You’re right,” Borna realized, brows knotting. “That was weird.”

Dorian smiled smugly. “That’s just a start.”

---

They ended up chatting for hours, exchanging stories, jokes, music recommendations, veering away from heavier themes after Dorian’s little confession. It got late by the time Borna got back home, though Steven was still at work. As he worked the morning shift the next day, he went to sleep without much preamble - as curious as he must have been, Steven would get mad if Borna lost sleep waiting for him to come home so he could report all the details of the hangout.

---

Dorian woke up with a swooping sense of excitement in his stomach. He had to survive his mind-numbing shift first, but then it was the time for the meeting, and meetings were good. The time in the store dragged like never before, the usual anticipation exacerbated by the fact that Borna was coming too.

His phone started vibrating, the screen showing three poop emojis. Dorian sighed, picking it up. “What is it?” he asked.

“Am at the back doors,” Gary’s voice crackled through the tiny phone speaker. “Let me in, I’ve got a package.”

“Coming,” Dorian replied and put the phone down. Casting a glance at the store windows, he left his chair, disappearing through the curtain to the back.

Unlocking the doors, he was greeted by the sight of Gary’s bulging arms wrapped around a giant cardboard box. He stepped aside, holding the doors open.

“It’s a big one,” Gary said needlessly. “Natalie will send someone to collect it.”

Dorian nodded. “Just put it on the floor there so it won’t get in the way.”

Gary put down the boy with a dull thud, pushing it towards the wall. “Did you talk with Natalie these days?” he asked.

“No, did she hear any new gossip?”

“She said there’s a new wolf in town.”

Dorian carefully schooled his face into an expression of surprise and interest. “Oh, really?” he asked, voice almost not wavering at all. “Does she know anything more?”

Gary smiled slyly. “She said he was one of your sort.”

The resulting eyeroll was completely genuine. “And what does that mean?” Dorian asked sarcastically.

“I don’t know,” Gary said innocently. “But she said he was kinda cute.”

Dorian shooed him towards the exit. “Out!” he yelled, slapping Gary lightly.

“I’m going, I’m going!” Gary exclaimed, cackling loudly. Dorian shut the door behind him, laughing despite himself.

---

Dorian freshened himself up, making sure to put on one of his nicer shirts. He had a bit of patchy stubble, but after a moment’s thought he decided to leave it. He didn’t have much time anyway. Once he’d get embarrassed by the desire to make himself look nice for the meetups, but he spent too many days wearing whatever he grabbed from the wardrobe in the morning, too sleepy to really care. It was nice to feel pretty once in a while. Shrugging his jacket on, he left his apartment.

Gary was waiting for him with the car, honking once when he saw him get outside.

“Hurry up, pretty boy!” he shouted.

Dorian jogged to the car and got in. “Sorry,” he said, out of breath. Then his face screwed up. “What the fuck is this smell?”

“It’s my new cologne,” Gary replied defensively.

Dorian shot him a pitying look. “I still can’t believe you’re a wolf,” he said. “Can’t you smell-”

“You’re the one to talk,” Gary grumbled. “You smell like cheap soap and stale cigarettes.”

“Why do we need to come early anyway?” Dorian asked, ignoring Gary’s remark.

“We need to set up some things.”

“Okay, why do I need to come early?”

Gary snorted. “Maybe Madam thought you could do with some extra workout.”

“Fuck off.”

---

They met up at a café, small and secluded, but most importantly private and owned by another  wolf. It was warm, walls covered in wood panels from which photos of nature and a few hunting trophies hung. The windows had white curtains, allowing the patrons extra privacy, and the patio was lined with large potted plants. Natalie was already waiting for them at the entrance.

“Hi!” she chirped. “Samara needs some help with hooking up the projector to the laptop, and someone needs to rearrange chairs and tables.”

“I can help Samara,” Gary said quickly, earning a stink-eye from Dorian.

“Great!” Natalie exclaimed. “After you’re done Madam will want to speak to you.”

Gary and Dorian nodded, exchanging looks.

Dorian felt his palms sweat. “Let’s get to work, then,” he sighed and they entered the café.

Miles, the café owner, was already waiting for Dorian. He was an older man, with a weathered face and salt-and-pepper beard of an admirable length. “Come on, kid,” he said. “I’m too old to move these things by myself.”

Dorian looked miserably at heavy solid-wood tables and chairs. “Me too,” he mumbled.

---

A sweaty while later Dorian and Gary reconvened at the back of the room.

“How was doing some real work like?” Gary asked smugly.

“Sucked,” Dorian replied. “How was getting rejected by Samara for the millionth time like?”

“Sucked,” Gary admitted.

Dorian cackled, earning himself a rather massive elbow to the ribs. They walked through the curtain behind the counter, stopping in front of the doors to the office. Gary knocked.

“Come in,” Madam Reid called from inside.

They entered, closing the doors behind themselves. Madam Reid shut her laptop and put away a stack of papers. “Thank you for helping Samara and Miles,” she said.

“Anytime,” Dorian mumbled.

“You’re probably wondering why I wanted to talk to you two,” she said.

They nodded.

Sighing deeply, she stood up. “It has come to my attention that there’s a new wolf in town.”

Gary nodded. “Heard it from Natalie.”

“Yeah,” Dorian added hoarsely.

“It’s always very risky to turn someone without the help of the community,” Madam Reid continued. Then she fixed her steely gaze upon Dorian. “So you can probably imagine how shocked I was to learn that one of my own did that.”

“Dorian?”

It’s been a while since Dorian heard Gary’s voice this fragile, this hurt. He wanted to do something, to turn around and tell him that it’s not like that, except that it was, and that Dorian was too frozen on the spot to do anything other than just stand there and stare back at Madam Reid.

“You must understand we have to tell others about it,” she continued. “Things like this must be dealt with communally.”

Dorian nodded mutely. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to make a sound if he tried.

“And I think that it would be best if you didn’t take part in the meeting today,” Madam Reid said gently. “Some might get… upset after being told the news.”

Dorian nodded again.

“Gary?” she said, finally releasing Dorian from her gaze. “Can you stay with Dorian?”

“Yeah,” Gary replied hoarsely.

Madam Reid looked at Dorian again. “I know this is scary, and we’re upset, but we don’t want you to do anything rash that could hurt you,” she explained. “We can find a way to solve this constructively.”

She put her papers and laptop in a bag. “Wait here, please?” she said. Exiting the room, she gave Gary an encouraging squeeze of the shoulder. The lock clicked behind her and then Dorian and Gary were left alone.

“Don’t you trust us?” Gary asked, and Dorian’s vision blurred with tears.

“It’s not that,” he whispered, sniffling lightly. He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder, gently pulling him to turn around.

“We’ve been through so many things,” Gary quietly said.

Dorian avoided looking at his face, staring at the wall instead. He took a deep breath. “I know.”

“Why did you even do it?”

Gary’s hands now gripped his shoulders and Dorian could feel him trying to catch eye contact. More tears sprang up to his eyes and he finally looked at Gary who was just a smear through the tears.

“I’m so scared,” he confessed and then Gary scooped him up in a hug.

“You know how lone wolves usually end up,” Gary mumbled into his hair.

Dorian nodded, wiping his tears in Gary’s shirt. The wetness on his cheeks felt too much like blood.