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lululawrence · 3 years

Note

Can u please be nicer on ao3? Maybe you should try answering people's comments

when i read the first line i was honestly flabbergasted and wracking my brain trying to figure out when in the world i wasn't nice on ao3 ever. because i honestly truly try to be nice to everyone always, even when i'm angry or frustrated or people are going after those i love and want to protect. if there was a time i WASN'T nice on ao3, i wondered if it was maybe because my comment had been misunderstood or someone saw me razzing an author i'm good friends with and they didn't get that we are close and i said what i did with so much love and appreciation, you know? like what??? did i do???

but then i read your second line. and please forgive me if i come off as rude in my response to this, because honestly i'm in a pretty bad spot mentally and emotionally in general right now, but PARTICULARLY today, and this ask triggered an anxiety response in me. so. i'm trying really hard to word this in a way to educate without being condescending or mean, but i might not succeed.

firstly, thank you for your comments i'm assuming you've left. i'm also assuming they were nice comments, in which case extra thanks. i'm sure i'll send you effusive responses on ao3 when the time comes.

secondly, please understand that sending an ask like this, on anonymous no less, is incredibly entitled. writing is not my profession, i receive no compensation for my works that i post for free online, and as a part of that it is not required of me to respond. i do my very best to reply to every comment i receive, but it is not always in a timely manner, because i have other priorities in my life. all of which leads us to my third point, which is:

writers do not owe you a reply to your comments. end of. there are no other qualifications or quantifying modifiers to be added to the statement. is it nice to be acknowledged and know your comment was seen? sure. but do they OWE you one? hell no.

in fact, i'd like to offer you a suggestion. a way of tweaking your thinking about the comments you leave on fics. instead of looking at comments you leave as being something that deserves a reply from the author, think of your comments as your way of paying the author for the gift of their time and talents that they have shared with you by posting their fic. that's how i think of the comments i leave for authors. i'm giving them my thanks for the words they've shared! i want to help THEM feel as amazing as they have made ME feel when i read their fic. in fact, my hope isn't necessarily a response from them, but instead my hope is THE GIFT OF THEM SHARING MORE FIC WITH ME. i'm a selfish bitch in that way and i always want all the fic to read. i never want that well to go dry. one way i can ensure that doesn't happen is by supporting authors and being kind to them and spreading all the love and excitement i can about their writing in the hopes that my words will inspire them to share more.

because whether they reply or not, i GUARANTEE they are seeing your comments. i PROMISE they are. and for all you know, your comment might be the one that keeps them writing even when their words aren't coming easily or when they are tempted to give up.

but, again, please remember that no matter what, these authors (including me) don't actually owe you anything.

the rest of this is going under a cut, because honestly my reply is already far too long and i have a LOT more to say now that you've gotten me started.

now, all of this in mind, i'll explain to you why i'm not great with keeping up with comments made on my fics the last couple of years. i don't owe you this explanation any more than i owe you a response to your comments, and i'm honestly not sure you deserve this explanation either, but i'll still offer it anyway. it'll help me feel better knowing i at least put this out there, whether you care or not, mainly because if i don't do that it will cause me greater anxiety having you possibly think i am not responding to people because i feel all high and mighty or that i think i'm better than the comments or whatever the fuck kind of motivation you're attributing to me to see my lack of a response as something "not nice" towards the commenters.

i'm not sure if you've noticed, but i put out a lot of fic. like a lot. a lot of words and shit. i love writing, it's often my therapy and a way for me to help keep my anxiety and depression and ptsd at bay.

now, more personal shit for you, i've got three kids ages 9 and under. the oldest has adhd which we have yet to find a med for that helps to the extent she needs without side effects that aren't healthy for her to continue with, she also has anxiety, AND she's extremely gifted and starting a new program at a new school, all in the midst of a pandemic. and all of those situations exacerbate her anxiety! huzzah! she's also dealing with the beginning of her tween growing up shit, which is great fun because it means where she used to be pretty damn understanding of her younger brother, she is finding it much more difficult to. because the second oldest? he's autistic with some pretty significant gross motor, speech, and socialization delays that have only been exacerbated because of the previously mentioned pandemic. PLUS he transitioned from his special needs preschool to a fully integrated elementary school for kindergarten last year and then had to deal with all the ups and downs of the switch from e-learning to hybrid to all in schooling when everything in him screams for a normal schedule he can rely on to keep his own anxieties and fears and struggles at their minimum. and that youngest child? he was born in january of last year. he STILL barely leaves the house and has only met other children in close range a couple of times because, once again, pandemic!

add onto all of this my own mental health issues, the fact that my husband ALSO battles major clinical depression, adhd, and anxiety, AND we live with my parents who have their own health issues, both mental and physical. i run the home for our house of seven. i keep this place functioning, fed, clothed, clean, and everywhere we need to be for all of our five million appointments every. fucking. day. there is a REASON i've been borderline burnt out for the last fucking year and a half.

now, for fun, i have fandom shit. i love it here, even if it is a dumpster fire on the best of days, and getting to be a part of the writing community is so very lovely. i adore it. honestly, it's because of those friendships i've built with other writers that i have been able to keep writing and have found just how helpful it can be for my mental health. but i'm REALLY. INCREDIBLY. BUSY. i hardly have time to get on tumblr for just a quick swipe through my dash most days. i put off asks so long i forget i have them. i don't have the mental and emotional capacity to talk to people on here or interact fully a lot of the time. but i do my best to do so and be kind while i'm at it even when i don't want to be.

then, on top of that? i also run fic fests like @wordplayfics and help friends run their own. because not only am i a writer, i'm a reader. i LOVE fic. fic has saved me soooooo many times over the past seven years that i've been here. i want to do what i can to support other writers the best way i can, which is to provide a space for them to create their works that welcomes and helps promote them, but also by doing my monthly fic lists and pocast highlighting what i've been able to read, reblogging their fic posts, and then commenting and kudosing their fics too.

sometimes i get really fucking down on myself because i'm so behind on replying to comments, but my brain is very much a "if you start this, you have to finish it" kind of a brain, and i feel even WORSE sometimes if i reply to comments on some fics and not all of them. but i do my best and reply when i can. i was actually really fucking proud of myself because i had a couple days to myself in june, and i spent hours replying to comments on 20 of my fics. when you have almost 150 fics (i think? i don't even know how many fics i've posted by now), that is only scratching the surface. but i tried and i was so so happy i did that many fics at once. it's exhausting, though, and takes a lot of spoons for me to reply to them in mass like that plus time consuming. so i tried to be happy with those 20 fics and the comments i responded to there and told myself that when i ha a moment to breathe, i'd go and work on replying to some more.

but see, that again causes anxiety and guilt. because i haven't replied to all of them. and that anxiety and guilt can cause me to put it off further OR to put off important things like feeding my children or getting sleep in order to finish it, so i have to make myself put things into perspective and ensure i'm doing the important things, like taking care of myself and my family, first.

and then, i have a moment where i CAN go ahead and reply to comments... but i also have MANY fics that are on deadline and i actually have a schedule. a SCHEDULE. for when i'm going to focus on which fics. i can spell it out for you if you really want. i made it back in APRIL to make sure i didn't sign up for too many fic fests because there are so many going on right now that i want to participate in, but i know i can't do all of them so i had to pick and choose. and when you are SO overscheduled and busy that back in APRIL you had to figure out what fics you would focus on at what time to ensure you got everything written when you wanted to through THE END OF THE YEAR, more choices have to be made.

for example. my writing time and time for myself came down to only one evening a week for ALL fandom things i'm doing and a part of right now once the kids were out of school for the summer. it quickly became apparent that for my own self care i needed more time, so i worked with my husband to find two other days i could carve out at least 30-60 minutes to myself to write every week. and i did. but if i'm already only getting that much time and have committed to those fics and fests and things that you're running etc, you have to choose am i going to use this time to try to squeeze in some comment replies? or am i going to write? and i choose to write. simple as that.

so yeah. see it as selfish if you want. see it as mean. you can honestly see it as whatever the fuck you want, but for me? i know that as soon as i possibly can and i can breathe freely for once and not feel like i am constantly drowning in my day to day life and am doing pretty well when it comes to my fic deadlines and getting started on those christmas cards i'm once again going to be making by hand for everyone on tumblr who chooses to sign up for one this year out of the KINDNESS of my heart and the love i really do feel for so many of you, then i promise i'll be on ao3 catching up and commenting. my friends laugh and make fun of me for it sometimes, because they will sometimes get 10-12 replies to their comments in a single day. they know that's how i work. i WILL reply to every single comment i get, no matter how old it is. but for the love of all that is holy, do NOT add to the anxiety and guilt i already feel over it. the only place that will get you is the ask/comment getting deleted if it's a good day, a fucking long rant like this one if it's not, and a block if it's a REALLY bad day.

if you're asking me to be nice on ao3, then i ask in return that you also be nice by not demanding things of people that they are not in any way obligated to give.

#long post #rant #i almost deleted this #but you sent it on just the right day and instead i let loose #this is unedited and unbetaed lmao but ENJOY #or don't #whatever #writing stuff #i should tag it #writing SHIT #but that's not really a tag i keep cause who wants to keep track of the negatives #not me

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peach-pops · 4 years

Text

Famous S/O HC

This is very self-indulgent cause I’m the type to make up fake scenarios where I’m famous and going on interviews and press tours asfjdks. If you guys want, I’ll make more of these! Oikawa+Tsukishima underneath the cut!

How The Haikyuu Boys Find out that You’re Famous

-Bokuto- (Pro-Athlete)

Bokuto knew you were an athlete but he had NO IDEA that you were super famous. Like he always thought it was normal for people to come up to you after your game to ask for pictures or autographs ???

I mean that’s why he was so drawn to you because of how much passion you had for your said sport cause duh he could relate

One day when you two were out at the mall, he told you that he needed to get new shoes to work out in and so the two of you went into the Nike store so he could look around

He was looking through the shoe aisle and after almost two hours of looking through the same shelves, he finally found a pair he liked (shopping with him is so time-consuming but that’s for a different day)

when he found a pair he liked, the two of you made your way to the cashier to pay for his shoes. As the cashier was ringing Bokuto up, his eyes traveled up to the large poster/banner that was directly behind the cashier’s area and smiled to himself

It was a colorful promotional banner with a bunch of top athletes from around the world and as he’s looking at the banner, he sees this girl and he nudged you like,” Babe, she looks like you!”

You look up from your phone and sure enough, you’re plastered on the wall posing with other athletes

“ Oh yeah, I didn’t think this shoot would come out until next month.”

Bokuto didn’t even process what you just said but my dude behind the cash register stopped scanning the shoes to turn his head to the banner and he turned PALE.

He even does a double-take cause hold up, is there seriously a pro athlete in front of him?

“ Oh my god...You’re Y/N L/N!”

“ How do you know my…” Bokuto furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the banner again and he even squinted like hold up

AND IT ALL SUDDENLY CLICKS FOR HIM

“ Y/N? That’s you!”

“ Yeah-”

Bokuto can’t even believe it and he totally spaced out when you take a selfie with the guy behind the register with the banner in the background like UMMM HIS GIRLFRIEND IS FAMOUS WHAAAAAA

“ YOU’RE ON A NIKE POSTER OH MY GOD! LOOK YOU’RE ON THIS MAGAZINE WHA-”

Dude is totally making a scene in this store but he does not give a single fuck

As he’s walking you back home, he’s looking up all of your stats and even watches a compilation called “ 100 times Y/N L/N was a beast!” and he’s just shooketh

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE A FREAKING PRO ATHLETE??”

“ I didn’t think it was a big deal I mean, you’re pretty famous too babe.”

“ I DON’T HAVE A PROMOTIONAL BANNER WITH NIKE!”

He’s not salty at all he’s just a bit emo cause he felt bad that he never even noticed before

As your fame grows, so does Bokuto’s with his volleyball career. You and him are described as a powerhouse couple and it really hypes the two of you up like THE POWER YALL POSSESS TOGETHER ON AND OFF THE COURT/FIELD/WHATEVER

Lots of training together and joint interviews together like Wired autocomplete or your favorite ~THIRST TWEETS~

“ ~Bokuto could spike a volleyball in my face, crack my nose in two different places, and I’d thank him~ oh my god that’s horrible I would never do that.”

“ I mean, you’ve done it before haven’t you?”

“ That was different anyway, your turn Y/N!”

*passes that clunky ass bucket*

“ ~Y/N L/N, please tie me up and- oh my god this is too dirty I can’t! My mom will watch this!”

If you’re a pro volleyball player, you two get compared a lot and it bugged you at first since you felt like you two were two very different in terms of playing style but after a while, you both started to encourage the idea of your own playful rivalries like comparing stats and wins

But if you’re in a different sport, you two get asked questions like who’s sport is harder or what it would be like if you two switched sports like??? But because you two are in different fields, you both have such major respect for each other cause you can’t even imagine how much hard work it is

He absolutely does not mind it at all when fans approach you two if you guys are on a date. He knows how important your relationship with fans are, especially if they’re younger girls who look up to you as a role model

Bokuto will fall in love with you all over again whenever you crouch down to a younger fan ughhhghgh

He doesn’t care for the paparazzi to be honest. he knows it comes with the territory but he will get a bit protective if they start to get too close to you

“ Hey, we’re just trying to get back home so just let us through please,” but if it continues, he will not give a single fuck about being nice,” dude, what did I just say? Back off!”

Mad!bokuto will be the death of me

He knows how stressful it is being a pro athlete but he will always remind you how proud he is of you and if he ever sees you overworking, he will make sure you take a day off even if that means just napping together all day

Long story short, Bokuto would be amazing to have by your side as you’re navigating being in the public eye and you may quote me on that

-Oikawa- (Actress)

This attention whore I swear

So Oikawa knows that you act but he doesn’t know that you’re an actress (which is basically the same thing)

Like as a kid you were in commercials and you had a small role in a tv show but it wasn’t like it was super popular.

But what Oikawa didn’t know was that a couple months before you two started dating, you were flown out to America to star in an upcoming and highly anticipated movie

since you were under a contract, you weren’t allowed to talk about it until the trailer dropped and it ate away at you because all you wanted to do was tell people especially your boyfriend

ANYWAY He decided to take you on a date to the movie theatre and as you two were getting popcorn, these girls came up to you two

“ Hi! Is it okay if we can get a picture with you?”

“Of course, how could I ever turn down my lovely fans-”

“ No, not you, Y/N!”

Oikawa is just flabbergasted as the girls hand their phone to him so he can take a photo of you with your fans he deadass thinks it’s some prank

After the girls left, he gave you a weird-ass gaze and asked you what that was about but you just shrugged and told him that maybe it was because of ur mini part in that one tv show

So he thinks nothing about it and teased you that it was so cute how you had a mini fanbase and you weren’t going to lie, it was pretty freaking cool

You guys entered your theatre and got settled into your seats as the movie trailers started to play.

(Oikawa loves watching trailers like this dude is the type to take you 45 minutes before the movie actually begins JUST to make sure he doesn’t miss anything)

As you’re chilling in your seat, you see the trailer to your movie so you do your best to keep your eyes on your boyfriend and the screen at the same time cause you want to see his reaction

The trailer plays and Oikawa seemed to be interested in the movie but again, it’s like any normal trailer UNTIL he hears your voice coming from the screen and he immediately sits up in his seat

“ Wait- was that your voice?”

“ My voice?”

“ Nevermind, I think I’m going crazy-”

AND THEN HE SEES YOU ON THE SCREEN! Since it’s a trailer it was just about five seconds of an intense/dramatic scene but it’s enough for Oikawa to lose his mind

“ OH MY GOD THAT IS YOU!”

This prompts some people in the audience to shush him but Oikawa doesn’t care

“ OH SHUSH THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND! Y/N! THAT’S YOU!”

“ Toru oh my god yes that’s me but stop screaming or they’re gonna kick us out!” You whispered loudly as Oikawa clamped his hand over his mouth

He’s so happy and he’s beaming with pride so he pulls out his phone and records the trailer to post it in his group chat cause duh he wants to show the boys how proud he is but when he sees you kissing someone else for .6 seconds, Oikawa just (ㆆ_ㆆ) and stops recording

“ Are you okay babe?”

“ Was that real or CGI?”

“ The building crumbling is all CGI-”

“ No...the kiss.”

THIS DUMBASS LMAO HE’S SO SALTY AND JEALOUS

“ Why didn’t you tell me you were this good?”

“ I- I was always this good! But I couldn’t say anything, I’m under a contract!”

“ But you could’ve told me! I wouldn’t have told a soul!”

That’s a whole ass lie, if he knew, he would’ve bragged about it to Iwaizumi

But foreal, Oikawa is such a supportive boyfriend like as months pass and your following gets bigger, he just gushes cause yep that’s his famous girlfriend ( he will 100% use you sometimes for clout)

this dude LOVES bragging to his friends that he’s dating a famous actress. Like he was always showing you off and hyping you up before but it gives him such an ego boost when people find out the two of you are dating

Oikawa is an attention whore like I said so you know whenever the paparazzi appears, he eats it up and will pose which is SOO embarrassing like pls why do u do this

But there are some days where you don’t want to get recognized and he 100% understands so the two of you will wear disguises as to not get recognized. One time you two ended up getting caught so he just grabbed your hand and the two of you SPRINTED back to the subway

He will have all of your movies on DVD and if your movie is on a streaming service, he will buy a membership JUST so he can watch your movie

Sometimes you’ll come over to his house and he’ll always try to make you watch your movie for the millionth time

“ Toru, can we please watch something else?”

“ But my extremely talented and beautiful girlfriend is in this movie why would I watch anything but this?”

Don’t be fooled he WILL skip through any kissing scenes or scenes where your character shows any type of affection to another character

LOVESSS tagging along with you to photoshoots, interviews, red carpet events ALL OF IT

Red carpet events give him a chance to dress up and lowkey his outfit is always one of the best there. He won’t outshine you per se but fans actually look forward to see what he’ll be wearing and he’s not even in any of the movies I-

Your schedule gets pretty busy once your career takes off and even though there are certain time periods where you’re across the world, it won’t stop him from sending huge bouquets to your set

Basically, Oikawa is such a supportive boyfriend and is overall so proud of how you managed to juggle your studies with your acting career 10/10 best boy

-Tsukishima- ( Musician/Singer)

You and Tsuki had only been dating for a bit and since it was all still new, he kept it on the down-low because the last thing he needed was his teammates pestering him about a girl

Tsuki knew you liked to sing and write songs but you never told him about how well known you were simply because he never asked

He just assumed it was a side thing for you UNTIL he showed up to practice and some of his teammates were huddled around Noya watching something on his tablet

“ Move your elbow! I can’t see-”

“ Watch your hand-”

“ Shush! I can’t hear her-”

“ What are you idiots watching?” Tsuki asked as he craned his neck to look at the screen

No one answered him so he started to watch the music video and low and behold, your face popped up on screen singing along to your lyrics that he’s heard a million times

Tsuki is a bit taken aback cause why is his girlfriend in such a high production video and why is his heart feeling some type of way seeing you in that outfit

Like lemme just take off my glasses and see that again ( •_•)>⌐■-■

” Where did you guys get that video?”

“ What do you mean, it’s online? She’s trending right now-”

“ God all of her songs are so good I want to see her live-”

“ I can’t believe she goes to school with us-”

“ I wish she would step on me-”

“ Hey, don’t talk about my girlfriend like that,” Tsuki said dryly as he glares at the back of Noya’s head, which prompted everyone to turn around

“ You’re dating Y/N L/N? Ha! That’s funny Tsuki!” Tanaka laughed as he slapped Tsuki in the back harshly

At first, even Tsuki was questioning himself like wait, is he even sure you’re dating? cause this girl in the music video was NOT the same girl he was on the phone with last night

If you had asked Tsuki 10 seconds ago if he would ever reveal to the guys he was dating someone, he would say helllll no but now that he knew about this, he didn’t care about keeping the relationship a secret especially if they were thirsting over his girl

He had all the proof in the world that he was dating you but took the salty approach to prove it to them. He pulled out his phone and shot you a text even though you were in class

Tsuki: Come to the gym right now

Y/N: is everything ok?

Tsuki: just come quickly

You left your class to “use the restroom” and practically rushed to the gym thinking that something was wrong with your boyfriend. You slid into the gym, causing the boys to look up from the tablet and you ignored their shocked faces

“ Where’s Tsukishima?”

The boys slowly did a doubletake from the music video back to you to make sure they were seeing correctly and even though you were a bit embarrassed to hear your song playing in the background, you were just worried about Tsuki

Tsuki walked out to you from behind the guys and you rushed over to him

“ Babe, what’s wrong?”

“ BABE?!”

The boys were shocked and the second years practically FAINTED in your presence

Tsuki pulled the tablet from Noya’s cold, dead hands and showed you the screen,” Care to explain this?”

“ I- Um, it’s my music video…”

“Well are you famous or something?”

“ I wouldn’t say famous…more like upcoming artist?”

And then the next week you’re a nominee for the VMA’s asjfkghdk

honestly out of Oikawa and Bokuto, he probably handles it the best on the outside, he doesn’t make too big of a deal out of your fame but on the inside he’s can’t even believe it

He doesn’t go around shouting to the world that he’s dating the Y/N L/N but he has his own ways of supporting you. He’ll listen to your songs whenever he’s walking in the hallway or doing homework at home and he’ll catch himself liking tweets that are about you as long as they’re positive

He’s def the type to argue with people online if they say mean comments and will report/block them before you can even see it

IDC how much he tries to hide it, he is deadass ur biggest fan. Tsuki will tease you about how nervous you act during interviews/award shows but he will ALWAYS go with you to ease your nerves even if he had prior plans

If you ever write a song for him, he gets SO RED AND EMBARRASSED so pls do that

Will def call you baka for doing so but deep down, he’ll fall in love with you even more cause you’re able to put into words how he feels about you

I don’t think he’ll be too comfortable with you posting about him but he knows he can’t do anything about people taking photos of the two of you out together in public

Tsuki would never be rude to your fans though like if you were recognized during a date, he wouldn’t make a fit and will take photos of you and your fans to speed the process along

He HATES HATES HATES the paparazzi’s like it’s one thing for fans to come up to you when yall are in public but he gets mad when the paparazzi harasses you with questions/pictures/comments

“ Y/N! Turn around and give a smile!”

“ Not right now, I’m sorry.”

“ Oh come on, don’t be shy! Just show the camera a little skin!”

“ How about you shut the hell up before I smack that camera out of your face.”

Head empty, no thoughts, just thinking about Mad!tsuki

It’s a big adjustment for Tsukishima that he has a girlfriend in the entertainment sphere but he knows how hard you’ve worked for it and he would never tell you to stop living your dream

Sometimes he’ll feel insecure because you’re so successful and he doesn’t want to hold you back but since he can’t imagine being without you, he just pushes those thoughts away and enjoys every minute with you

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ringmyheart · 3 years

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Hey was wondering if I could get something for lookism characters with an older s/o, like they're 3-4 older. Please do goo, Jake kim and Scott kwon.

Good luck with the blog🤩🤩🤩

Goo Kim

When you get into the relationship, of course he knows ur age and that you’re a few years older than him, and at first he doesn’t mention it but once ur like just a little bit closer he’s probably gonna poke fun at the fact

Because there’s nothing wrong w u being older it’s just that in all the stereotypical or general movies or shows or books it’s like the older person in the relationship is usually the like stronger or more providing person ends up being the oldest in the relationship and ur not useless in the relationship at all but he’s out there like killing ppl and raking in thousands a day at like 19 😭

If ur walking around in public and someone stares at u for a little longer or one of the ten geniuses is looking at u just casually he’ll get up in their face and b like “whaaat?! Do you know who you’re staring at? That’s your elder over there!! Show some respect!!”

He definitely sends u cringy texts like “how’s my favorite 21 year old 😍😍😍😍” and it’s clearly somewhat condescending but he means it endearingly simultaneously

If u don’t know something that he asks u he’ll raise a brow and go “really? A four year head start and u can’t tell me that 🤨” and it’s all good fun but he’s always gonna say stuff like that

And this is all unprompted, if he knows ur actually kinda like insecure for whatever reason that ur older than him, maybe bc he’s already getting cash like crazy at his age, he’ll either start making fun of u relentlessly OR if ur serious about it he’ll cut it out of course and never mention it again. He might try to make u feel better by being like “don’t worry!! Physically and mentally im probably years older than you 😘” and it doesn’t really make u feel better probably but he kind of tries

It’s honestly no big deal to him what ur age is, but if he knows u don’t like him mentioning it so much he will bc he likes to be annoying LMAO and whenever u accomplish something he’ll be like “did u see what my s/o did?! My 21/22yr old s/o?! At their old age they’re still kicking it!!” And ur in NO means old but he just wants to strike a nerve in u and fight in public for fun

But when u put him joking about it aside, it really doesn’t mean anything in the relationship honestly. He doesn’t feel like there’s a certain way for things to go nd just goes about things normally, and he doesn’t really see people older than him as wiser or anytning so he’s not gonna like go to you for advice or ask you to figure things out for him just bc ur older

And honestly u don’t even need a job anymore bc ur gonna b together for a long time and he makes SOOO much money so if u hate ur job or college u have the opportunity to do what u want in life without worrying ab the pay bc he makes it all for u

And yeah he’s pretty stingy w money besides being filthy rich but when or if u need it he’ll give it to u ofc and he wants u to pursue what u like too so he’ll even go to ur job or college and just inform them “btw (y/n) isn’t gonna work here anymore” for u and gets u a job as whatever u want. He beats up ur boss so u can get promoted or something but if u ask about it he’ll deny it anyways and it’s like who else would beat tf out of my boss and he shrugs

Or if u like ur current job or college he’ll threaten the school or ur boss LMAO and have them give u more money or make u pay less or promote u

Even tho ur older than him he sees himself as the like leader of u two ?? Like he’s a really joke-y guy on the exterior but behind the scenes he is doing all the like hard stuff so u don’t have to. Like he sees it as he helps u and if u never offer much help or advice he doesn’t gaf, it’s like he helps u and in return he gets u LMAO

If u like ur job or college, don’t wanna quit and don’t want him threatening ur superiors he is like the number one customer of u guys

Like if u r working retail or as a cashier he is always going to that store nd buying stuff nd funding ur business and he gets chairman choi to do so too

Or he’ll just buy ur company or college LMFAO and suddenly sales r booming and u don’t know why r ur classes r so much easier

Yeah ur older than him and the twelve geniuses but he doesn’t let u near them 😐 he doesn’t want u to be a part of that type of business and honestly keeps u away from it besides maybe gun bc he’s always around him but that’s it

Like he doesn’t want u anywhere near his business or that type of stuff and if ur curios about it he says “u will understand when ur my age” or something LMAO so u will stop asking. It’s like the 1 time he’s suddenly rlly serious

If anyone else mentions how ur older than him in a demeaning way he’ll def be mad it’s like HE can make fun of u but no one else can, like ever. He will fight them nd win even if it’s just on the street or something

He’s threatened like two of ur friends behind ur back bc they made fun of u once and u mentioned it LMAO

He makes u do taxes (does he even do taxes ????? LMFAO) but if he does he makes u do them bc suddenly he thinks ur so much smarter and wiser

If he’s in a rut and needs ur help and it’s something dumb like he lost something he’ll b like “cmooon ur so much smarter than me 😣😩 ur like 21 u would know this for sure” to make u do it and he uses flattery

None of the ten geniuses know ur name bc he’s tryna keep u safe lol

If ur ever in a situation somehow vaguely similar to one he’s in and he needs help on it he’ll ask u what u did, and if u say something surprisingly smart or wise he’ll be kinda surprised bc I feel like he’s cocky and doesn’t think others can help him that much but u do

But overall, it means nothing to him and it doesn’t matter how much older u r he’s still gonna feel like the protector

Jake Kim

It REALLY means nothing to him. Like he honestly never mentions it and ur like does he even know??? Bc a guy like him who’s like a leader of a whole enterprise type thing gang usually seems like he’d wanna be the elder in a relationship so ur like “... u know I’m like 4yrs older than u right?”

And he’s like “...yeah? Was that important or something?” And just blinks at u so ur like ... never mind

Honestly he probably makes u a bank account and puts money in it to surprise u on ur birthday or something like a little fund thing and he has a bank account on the side for u that has like thousands of dollars

If u ever feel bad or weird that ur older than him bc he is so successful and younger than u, he wonders why it even matters??? Who gaf??? And he’ll just hug u or something and is like pls don’t even worry about that... wth

If u ever feel petty bc he’s so much more successful than u bc it’s like when u have a hobby that u love and then a kid ends up being so much better at it than u but SO much worse bc he has like millions at like 19 💀 then he’s like okay but it’s OUR little enterprise now since we r together to assure u. He’s not cocky about it at all

But he won’t offer for u to join or try and help him out in making money even if he’s got to or it’s vital bc he also doesn’t want u involved w Big Deal at ALLLLLLL either, u could literally b like the smartest person in the world but once ur his s/o he probably doesn’t want u involved in his business at all

He does assume ur kind of wiser than him bc of ur age, so he’ll ask u for help or advice more often

Tbh regardless in a relationship he probably doesn’t leave any work for u to do like he does everything the financial stuff the living stuff everything so it doesn’t matter if ur older than him or if u see it as ur responsibility bc of that he’s still gonna bring in the money for y’all

Like he’s gonna take care of everything even if ur older so there’s no pressure for u to “act ur age”

Never brings up the fact that ur older than him, but maybe once in a fight it got bad and he yelled “ffs ur 21 u should know better than this!!” And that hurt ur feelings or something so from then on he just never ever mentioned it

And when others mention it he makes a cut throat motion like “stfu😡” bc he took it as u not liking ur age being brought up rather than u not liking it being held against u but it’s still kinda sweet how he tries to preserve ur feelings sm

If ur in college or something, he tries to help u w hw and stuff and he’s rlly educationally smart I think like he might’ve gotten bad grades but he understands quickly

And eventually he’s just doing ur hw for u LMAO

One time he probably accidentally wrote “Jake Kim” on the top of ur hw and u had to explain to ur professor why that happened

If u work, he probably also bribes ur boss or something to give u a raise and promotion or if u wanna move jobs but r scared of the low pay he feels like it’s a dumb fear bc he is clearly rich af, like u probably don’t even need a job 😭😭

Ur allowed to since ur in ur 20s legally but he doesn’t like or doesn’t let u go around casinos bc he’s seen firsthand how bad gambling is and he has the money to compensate if u ever get into gambling and lose a lot but he just doesn’t want u to feel guilty or get addicted

Like if u pass a casino and wanna go in and r like hey wanna check it out he just grabs ur hand and keeps walking and is like “let’s not” and probably asks u at one point to pls not get into gambling

If ur kinda petty bc he’s so much better at fighting than u despite being younger he’s like u don’t even need to fight I can literally do that for u???? Bc he feels like the only reason U would ever need to fight is to protect urself so if u wanna do it for fun he’ll teach u but doesn’t take it that srsly

He maybe made like one joke ab ur age or sent u a meme he saw ab relationships but u left him on read and it was just a bad joke or something but yeah overall he really refrains from bringing up ur age like ever 😭😭

He thinks ur insecure bc ur getting older or something and that’s y so he might start going like “looking youthful today 😀👍” every morning to u and ur like oh hehe thanks ????????

If someone else ever voices that they think it’s weird ur older than him he’ll fight them too like first he’ll go “(y/n), is this ur friend ?” Like he did w jiho and if ur like no he’s like oh :)) and then punches them or something

Doesn’t tell u stuff ab his business and ur like I’m 20-23 I can handle it and he just refuses anyways and will leave u in the dark bc yk won’t even risk it

Someone in Big Deal might be like “use ur s/o to help us work nd get money since they’re old they seem professional” he kicked them out immediately ur not touching that shit

But generally, he doesn’t care about it at all, and honestly just cares ab u and not ur age

Scott Kwon

He definitely uses u to get into places only ppl 20+ can enter LMAOO

He’ll have u walk in first and then slip in past u and if he gets caught he grabs u and goes “THIS is my s/o!!! They’re clearly of age, and I’m their s/o so clearly I am of age too 😤😤”

Ur banned from like 50 bars because of this like there’s a little “if these two come and ask u to enter their bar DO NOT LET THEM ENTER!!” Wall for y’all

He might try and hide in ur coat or something to get in but it never works

He definitely makes fun of ur age in a cocky way like haha... an older person wanted to get with ME. Little old me. And he feels like hot stuff bc of it for sure

Brags about it a lot like will take out ur photo and goes “u see this?? My s/o?? Yeah they’re in love w me and THREE YRS OLDER... hold ur applause guys” and it boosts his ego sm

He sends u scarily recent memes or jokes on the internet ab older s/o’s if there r any, and eventually when u go on his Instagram at least 1/3rd of his feed is just ageist jokes

If it really hurts ur feelings, he won’t tell any jokes ab it and won’t mention it ever again but will continue to utilize ur age to do things he can’t at age 18-19

He feels proud that he’s making sm money and is such a good fighter despite being younger than u bc he feels like it makes u look up to him so he’ll boast about it like he’ll punch something and go see that babe????? I can do that and I’m only 19!!! And ur like omg that’s so cooollll!!!!! <3 and his heart just swells

Pays for anything u want like buys u everything u ask for or just look at tbh, and also feels like u have no responsibility just bc ur older and seees himself as like the “leader” if the relationship and has a sense of duty to helping u and everything

Steers u away from trouble ASAP too it doesn’t matter if u can hold off on ur own, if he sees guys that just look mean he and u r walking the other way and ur like bro what?? And he just lies and is like I liked the sunset this direction or smmn and he doesn’t confide in u ab scary things

Bc yeah u can probably handle scary or threatening news but he’s not gna risk it regardless

If he’s rlly stressed ab something that can’t endanger u he won’t tell u that much ab it but might vaguely describe his predicament and looks to u for help and comfort and u just listen and he feels so much better afterwards and he’s telling u all this and ur just like mhm uh-huh :) and so he starts confiding in u more

But ruins it by going like “damn old ppl r good listeners 😆” and ur like STOPPPPPPP

Everyone in God Dog knows ur name age face and occupation bc he’s always talking ab u LMAO

When he was younger and didn’t have that much leniency with the law he made u his legal guardian so he can do what he wants and he tries to use u to get him to do stuf by pointing to u and going “they’re my legal guardian and they say I can drink all this!!” And ur like “no I absolutely do not???!!!!!” And he thought by doing that he’d get anytning but u prioritize his health 🙄 and he’s annoyed but secretly loves it and loves u doting on him nd worrying ab him and his well-being lol

In general, he rlly doesn’t care that ur older than him. His only big concern I. A relationship ever is how he can keep u safe bc he’s in pretty like tough stuff, and he’ll make fun of u but in all good fun and loves u sm

Thank you for the request, and thanks for the wish of luck <3 I’ll the my best w this blog!! I’m not that good at writing for Jake Kim, btw, because his character can kinda confuse me sometimes but he seems to be popular so I hope I get more requests of him so I can get his character down and write him properly. 💘I hope this was what u wanted 😭

#Lookism x reader #Goo x reader #Scott Kwon x reader #Jake Kim x reader #Goo Kim x reader

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nanamikeento · 4 years

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crimson red paint

Pairing: Max Phillips x female!reader

a/n: i know we’re all on board of the Din Djarin train but this is..... something lol. also happy halloween everybody, i managed to finish this earlier than i thought i would, and i’m so happy!!!! i hope you like it!!!

warnings: tw blood, smut +18, this has almost zero plot, soft ooc Max, but also dark and rough Max 😈 mentions of sexual harassment. maybe some unrealistic smut, but hey, I know you don't care! also I wasn't planning on that ending, but…. you’re welcome

word count: 3.5k

masterlist

“Does it hurt?” You ask him one night when you’re nestled against him on the couch. A corny horror movie is playing on TV, but you can’t bring yourself to pay attention to it.

“Just the first puncture.” Max’s voice makes his chest vibrate against you. “Like when I first fed from you, remember?”

It’s been almost two weeks since you told Max you wanted him to turn you. You’ve thought about it for a long time, months even, and you decided you wanted to be with him forever. At first, you weren’t sure if he was going to go with the idea, given that you’d never shown interest in becoming a vampire. But you’ve been with him for years and you have no plans of leaving him that soon and asking him to turn you into a vampire was a huge step, not only in your relationship but also in your life.

So he asked, about a million times, if that was what you really wanted. That would mean abandoning your old life, leaving friends and family behind, to live eternally by his side. Honestly, you’re not against it. You and Max might as well be married by now, knowing and living with each other for so long. It just made sense.

Max told you he wanted to make it special, surprise you with it. You know he wanted to give you some time to appreciate your last days as a human being. He was thoughtful that way.

When you first met him, though, you were sure you hated him with all your guts. He was very charming, you’d give him that, but the way his ego was the size of a hot air balloon turned you off completely. Max had tried to go out with you for the longest time, making your life at the office very difficult, always flirting and calling you pet names, but never going beyond that. It wasn’t until he fired a particular guy who had been harassing you for the longest time, that you took an interest in him. Max defended you, staying by your side and believing your allegations against that particular man. Then, you started to think Max Phillips wasn’t that bad after all.

You decided to give him a chance after that and, despite your expectations being very low, he actually exceeded them over the top. He even paid for dinner and didn't harass you the entire night. Who knew he could be such a gentleman?

Well, almost seven years later, here you are, your legs on his lap as you both chill on the couch of your shared apartment.

“Are you gonna miss me as a human?” Your voice is shy and quiet, full of uncertainty and doubt.

Max tears his gaze away from the television and looks at you, his brows furrowing for a moment before he softens his look.

“Well, yeah,” he replies, honestly.

Not expecting that answer, your jaw drops and you kick him in the ribs, knowing he won’t feel a thing. Max laughs and grabs your calf before you can kick him again, turning his body to face you.

“I mean…” He starts, pulling your legs towards him. You easily slide down on the couch, your back now flat in the cushions. “Will I miss feeling your warm, soft body under mine when I fuck you?” He cages you slowly, setting himself between your legs and pressing his body against yours. “Yes. Will I miss your scent when you get wet?” He grabs your outer thigh abruptly and you gasp in surprise. “Absolutely. Will I miss the taste of your blood?” Max gently presses his lips on the column of your neck and you close your eyes, groaning with the sensation. “You bet your cute little ass I will.”

“Max…” You whisper his name when he lets out a low growl, intertwining your fingers on his hair.

You can feel his fangs scraping against the skin of your neck, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. He knows your heart is beating like crazy inside your chest as he buries his face on your neck. With the touch of his sharp fangs on the skin of your neck, you embrace yourself for the familiar light pain, wondering if it’ll hurt more when he turns you into a vampire. Usually, Max bites you when things are hot and heavy in bed, and most times you don’t feel a thing, just a puncture followed by the pleasant feeling of him licking the wound. But now… Now you’re kinda scared it’ll hurt. And you like it.

Max hums and smiles against your skin, kissing his way up to your lips. “You like that, don’t you?”

“Shut u–” You gasp when he slips his hand between your legs, caressing you over your pajama pants. He approaches his lips to your ear and you shudder in pleasure, tightening your grip in his hair.

“But will I absolutely love to see you as a vampire?” He continues as you mewl under his touch. “To see your eyes turn red when you’re hungry for blood? To feel your body on mine, and to not have to hold back? To be with you forever?”

“I–” You try to speak, but your words are cut short when Max tugs the waistband of your pajama down and dips his fingers between your folds.

“Babe, I’ve been waiting years for you to ask me to turn you.”

With that, he slips two fingers inside you, watching as your breath hitches. His thumb meets the bundle of nerves and starts circling it, sending waves of pleasure through your body. You bring his lips to yours in a passionate kiss and you moan on his mouth when he curls his fingers inside you, hitting that spot you love so much.

"Oh, baby," you whimper, already close to your climax. "Max, fuck–

"Use your words, babygirl." He demands, a dominant one in his voice.

"I-I–" You try to speak.

"You want to cum, right?" He smiles when you nod, biting your lip.

Max presses his lips against yours again and then starts a trail of wet kisses until he reaches your pulse point. You shudder in anticipation, your breath heavy as the sensations overwhelm you. Once more, his fangs tease your skin and you feel the minimal prickle of them followed by his warm tongue massaging the spot. And then your legs shake and you're moaning his name over and over as you let it all out, coating his fingers with your fluids.

He doesn't stop until you're pushing his hand away from you, squirming with overstimulation. Then, he waits for your breath to be even, his body still caging yours, your fingers still tangled on his hair. Slowly, he pulls his fingers out of you and you whimper at the sensation of his thumb brushing against your sensitive clit.

“So, you’re not gonna leave me for a warm soft human, once I’m a vampire then?” You say once you’ve calmed down. Max snaps his eyes up to look at you. You’re smiling but he knows you mean it deep down.

“Knowing you could kick my ass? Never.” He teases. “And I don’t want to.”

“Aren’t you gonna get tired of me?” All of sudden, your tone sadder this time. “I mean I’m gonna be immortal, right? Just like you…”

Max smirks at you and rests his chin on the valley of your breasts. “Aren’t you gonna get tired of me? It’s the whole eternity, baby.”

“No,” you answer without a beat, frowning. “I mean, you are a dick most of the time, but I love you. I’d never–”

You interrupt yourself when the penny drops and Max just raises his brows. Rolling your eyes, you shake your head and look away, pressing your lips together.

“Babe." He adjusts himself so he can approach his face to yours. "I don't care if you're a human, a vampire, or a fucking elf…"

"Do elves exist?" You ask, widening your eyes.

"It doesn't matter." Max shrugs your question away. "The point is. Whatever you are, however you wish to live, I'll never get tired of you." He gives you a peck on the lips. "Wanna know why?"

The smile that comes to you is impossible to suppress as you kiss him once more, mumbling on his lips. "Why?"

"’Cause you have a nice ass." He whispers slowly.

"I am going to beat the fuck out of you." You don't flinch as you speak on his lips; Max chuckles and reaches to cup your jaw, deepening the kiss.

"Oh, and also I love you," he says when he pulls away from you.

The laugh that comes out of your lips is soft as you shake your head, biting your lower lip.

"Who knew that, to keep Max Phillips on a leash, all you had to do is have a nice ass."

Max laughs and gets off of you, grabbing your hand and pulling out of the couch.

"Come on." He starts pulling you to the bedroom. "I have to finish what I started."

…

Max is up to something.

You know it because he'd never paid for a hotel room for the two of you to spend the night after a date night. And he just texted you, telling you to wear that red dress he loves so much because he was going to take you to dinner and then to a hotel room.

Deep down, you know what's going to happen, but you decide to shove this thought away.

He'll pick you up at seven, just after work, which is in an hour and a half, but you can't help but start getting ready already. You feel your stomach twist with the sudden change in Max's behavior, but try to take a couple of breaths to calm yourself. You're sure it's nothing. Maybe he got promoted and wants to celebrate.

Yeah, that's what it is. A promotion.

The dress is one of the many he bought you, but it's his favorite. Low cut, silk material, hugs your curves and it's tight in all perfect places. Red. His favorite color, naturally. You put on some makeup and try to do your hair, but your hands shake slightly in anticipation.

Eventually, you're done with a few minutes to spare. You try to get distracted, putting a video on your phone to pass the time, but the jitters in your stomach are always there. When Max texts you, saying he's waiting for you, you take the apartment's key, turn off the lights and take a deep breath before leaving.

"You look gorgeous, babe." He greets you with a kiss on the cheek when you enter the car.

"You like it?" You smile, smoothing the dress when it raises, exposing your thigh. You know he likes it when that happens, but you feel nervous and you have to do something with your hands or he'll know.

"I love it. You know it."

You give him a smirk as he starts to drive to the restaurant with a hand on your thigh. His thumb traces circles on your bare skin and, occasionally, his fingers slip to your inner thigh as he scratches lightly on your sensitive skin. He knows what he's doing, he can smell your pheromones when you get aroused, which is why he's trying to turn you on right now.

Max is a little shit and he knows it.

"You okay?" He asks nonchalantly, glancing at you briefly before returning his eyes to the traffic.

"Y-yeah." You stutter, swallowing hard. He doesn't say anything else, but you see the smug smirk on his face.

After you arrive at the restaurant and take your seats, you finally ask him what's in your mind.

"What's the occasion?" Your eyes are on the menu, but your heart is in your throat.

"We're celebrating," he replies, setting the menu down and looking into your eyes.

So, it is a promotion. See, nothing to worry about…

"You got promoted, then?" You look at him surprised, ready to congratulate him. But he frowns his lips downwards and shakes his head.

"Nope." Max shrugs and looks at the menu again.

A quiet pause hangs between you two and you feel your heart speed up, the twist in your stomach coming back stronger than before. You see a half smile on his face and you fucking know he listening to your body's reaction.

"W-well." Your voice trembles. "Then, what are we celebrating?"

"You'll see."

Just like that, you’re all nervous again. Not even the food calms you down once it arrives, having lost your appetite despite Max telling you to eat. Regardless, dinner lasts forever and Max even orders a dessert, making it last even longer. But he still doesn’t tell you the reason for all this until dinner is over and you’re both at the hotel room’s door. You feel like your heart is going to burst in your chest as he takes the card and inserts it in the keyhole.

“Baby, just breathe.” He pauses and looks at you for a moment. You look into his eyes, those inviting, warm eyes that always made you feel calm and safe, and take a deep breath, nodding.

When Max opens the door and lets you in, you see the biggest suite you’ve ever laid eyes on. The door leads to a room with dark wallpaper and black carpet. The bed is huge, with a golden duvet, the nightstands and desks covered in small candles, lighting the room dimly. You take some time to observe the room as you hear Max close the door and walk behind you.

"Max…" Your voice trembles. "What's the reason for all this?"

"I think you know, honey."

His voice suddenly gets dark and low, and you audibly swallow, your heart speeding up as you feel his lips on your neck. He gently nibbles on your skin, sending a wave of pleasure and adrenaline through your entire body; you shiver, letting out a shaky breath and closing your eyes.

“It looks like a ritual.” You joke, then pause. "I'm scared." You confess before you can stop yourself from telling the truth.

One rule of your relationship with Max is always to be honest with each other. Especially because he can sense things better than you. Whenever you got mad, or upset at him he'd always know and ask you to tell him the truth. You liked that about him. Even though it irritated you sometimes.

"I know," he mumbles into your skin and then gently takes your chin, making you look at him. His eyes are already glowing red when you look at them, but his gaze is soft at you. "Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes," you answer with no hesitation.

Max then crashes his lips against yours in a rough, yet firm kiss. His hand cups the back of your neck, bringing you closer to him and you open your mouth, letting him deepen the kiss. Pulling you towards the bed, Max hooks an arm on your lower back and sits on the mattress as you straddle him, lacing your hands behind his neck.

You grind your hips against him and he groans, squeezing the flesh of your hips and guiding you on top of him. Max tugs at the thin straps of your dress, pulling it down to let it fall on your waist, revealing your breasts to him. He doesn't waste time and cups them roughly, kneading, and pulling at your nipples roughly. You breathe heavily on his mouth, gasping and whimpering, while you fumble with the buttons of his shirt, loosening his tie and pulling it off of him.

He runs his nails on your back, making you moan and throw your head back; his lips connect with your neck as you grind hard on him, your climax building up more each second. Your skin already glistens in the glow of the candles with sweat, your moan getting louder as Max teases your skin with his fangs.

“Max!” You whimper, your begging tone like music to his ears.

“Not yet.” He growls and easily switches positions, grabbing you by the waist and throwing you on your back.

He kneels on the bed, eyeing you like he’s the hunter and you’re his prey. Max takes his time as he shrugs off his shirt and reaches for his belt. Your hands tremble as you pull your dress over your head, and hook your thumbs on the elastic of your underwear.

“Don’t move.” Max orders as he undresses. A feeling bubbles in your stomach, anticipation making your shiver as you look at him fisting his cock in his hand. “Stay like this.”

The smell of sex and sweat reaches your nose and you wonder if it’s stronger for a vampire. You guess after tonight, you’ll know.

“You wore this for me?” He asks as he leans down, hooking a thumb on the elastic band of your lingerie. You give him an innocent look and nod, your lips curving into a sweet smile. For a moment, he smiles too, before he pulls your underwear to the side and dips his fingers into your folds, moaning when he finds you soaking yet. “Oh, baby…”

“Max…” You close your eyes, whining his name.

“I love it when you say my name like that.”

Max then adjusts himself on top of you and enters you, giving you no time to get used to the length of him. Through the seven years of your relationship, you had sex with Max countless times, in any way you could possibly imagine. But not like this.

Not like tonight.

Tonight he's rough. Feral. And it's not like he's never been rough with you. Tonight it’s different for some reason. He’s different. Or maybe you’re different. You don’t know. It’s hard to think when he’s pounding hard into you, his hips slapping against yours, hitting that sweet spot over and over.

It’s like he was holding back all these years and is finally letting go. You feel his cock stretching you and hitting hard against your cervix that you worry for a second if you’re going to bleed. But you bet he’d like that.

“Fuck– Baby–” Max groans in your ear. “I– Shit, you feel so good–”

You moan loudly when he cups one of your breasts hard, pinching your nipple. The climax is almost there, you can feel it as you tangle your fingers on his hair and pull hard. Max groans and moans and you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Sorry, baby, but I– fuck, I lied.”

His words seem to pull you out of your pleasure haze and you pull your brows together, looking at him with confused eyes.

“What–” You try to speak, but when you feel the sharp of his fangs on your neck, you gasp.

“This is going to hurt.”

You barely register his words before you feel him closing his mouth on your neck and biting into your skin. The pain doesn’t come right away, instead, you feel a pressure, and then, moments later, it feels like fire. It spreads from your neck through your entire body and you feel it everywhere. Max groans as he drinks your blood and you feel the vibrations from his voice as tears blurry your vision. At some point, you don’t know if you’re going to cum or pass out. Maybe both, because you finally feel yourself clamp around him, the waves of pleasure hitting you stronger than usual. You shake and whimper his name, nails digging on his back as you moan and gasp.

And then everything goes black.

…

Max pulls out of you at the moment you blackout. His lips are smeared with your blood, his eyes still glowing red. He drank enough of your blood to taste it like he never did before and he wondered why he didn’t turn you sooner.

Well, he knows why. The idea had to come from you, he couldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to. Losing your humanity isn’t like choosing which place you were going to order dinner from.

He remembers what it felt like. Being an immortal creature, freshly turned, thirsty for blood, and craving violence. So, he promised himself he’d take care of you. He’d help you, teach you how to be a vampire. You’re his partner after all.

Max sighs, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Leaning over, he presses his lips on your forehead and tucks you in, knowing that when you wake up, you’ll be a different creature. He climbs off the bed, reaching for his trousers on the floor; with another sigh, he shoves his hand on the pocket of them, pulling a black velvet little box from it. The diamond ring glistens in the candle lights and he smiles to himself, knowing for a fact you’ll love it.

Finally.

tags: @huliabitch @mistermiraclee @murdermewithbooks @gooddaykate @kingpascals @theocatkov @aerynwrites @haildoodles-writing @hiscyarika @bestintheparsec @opheliaelysia @buckysalefty @din-damn-djarin @the-wishmonger @forever-rogue

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#max phillips #max phillips x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine #bloodsucking bastards

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wxbitna · 3 years

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hello my good dudes it is i, gemma, back on my bullshit 🤪 on today’s episode i’m introducing my bby gorl bitna, the one who looks real elegant on the outside but that’s only bc her posture is unclockable ( do not speak 2 her it will ruin the illusion ). if uve watched winx, she may b a lil familiar 2 stella bc,,, ya girl lacks creativity n what about it!! ok anw, under the cut is a longform ramble summary of her!! skip 2 the end for some cool plot ideas 🤪 also please spare this post a LIKE to plot!! i can do tumblr ims or u can find me on my discord ( ding dong#8039 ) ☆

2 all u astrology hoes (( me )) she’s a virgo sun, capricorn moon, taurus rising 🤪

hails from a family of v accomplished ballerinas & was a ballerina herself! she’s... honestly she’s not bad at it?? but her skill is v much thru loads of practice as opposed to the rest of her family, who also practices A Lot but as a cute bonus, are also blessed w the it factor

has some weird sister (?) complex... she’s in the corps de ballet ( like... think background dancers ) while byeol was a principal dancer even tho they’re only 2 years apart : ) her sister is the best ballerina to come from the long line of song ballerinas & everyone knows this

bitna is insanely jealous of her sister ( someone give bitna the worst sibling award ) bc byeol is taller, prettier, more extroverted, friendlier, beautifuller, amazinger like literally everything n bitna is just a bitter bitch

anw bitna’s and her family’s lives revolve around ballet so no one rlly pays any mind to anything outside of it, like they truly be existing in this tchaikovsky bubble

when bitna was 14-15, her powers of light manifested and she had a real talent for it?? she showed this off to her family in a ‘hey guys... look at me... there’s more than just ballet guys i’m real good at light haha’ kinda way n her parents were like lol uh cool n e ways...

so back to ballet 🤪 all that practice paid off and the company wants to promote her to a soloist and gave her her first principal dance, so bitna’s life was truly lookin up!! ( this was probably at the start of 2021 )

she practices so much that she overworked herself bc she was just so nervous n rlly did not want to fuck it up

this backfired bc... bc she overworked herself, she ended up falling on stage twice, vomiting, then proceeding to run away mid-performance w the music still playing in the bg...

needless to say she quit ballet ( in a way that’s like no u didn’t fire me bc i quit!! ) n she realises then that she rlly has nothing to hold onto? like her life was genuinely all abt ballet she barely even has friends

but she remembers her talent w light so she takes the pre-enrolment assessment n passes!! so now she’s off to the academy bc ya girl is pulling the v classic so i clowned myself n now im running away n changing my name

if u know her u don’t

also idk where to put this but it seems like an impt point, but ya girl has a superiority complex ( aka acting superior as a defense mechanism for her feelings of inferiority ) n this also extends to the way she dresses aka she’s overdressed 110% of the time

she also has really dry humour and can be v quick to point out the obvious ( character inspo: phoebe from friends ) and people may confuse this for her being blunt n rude but she’s honestly just socially awkward guys

short summary am i right 🤪 ok now for some plot ideas!!

ur muse knows enough abt ballet to recognise her sister : ) cue “wait aren’t you song byeol? omg”

ur muse watches so much faetube n stumbled upon this viral video of this ballerina literally falling, puking on stage, n running tf away... wait isn’t that her

ur muse met bitna like Once n maybe they were acquaintances, n last u remembered she was all abt ballet n was so uppity abt it too so wtf is she doing in the academy this is like the polar opposite to that

where her roomies at!? bitna is the worst roommate in existence ( think hogging the bathroom, leaving her shit around the common areas cause she has nvr roomed w anyone in her life and doesn’t understand this common decency... at least she’s a clean person? hehe )

u guys r at the bulletin board n there’s only one (1) spot left for training simulations... her tall ass rudely steps between u n the board to put her name down... a fight ensues

bitna is a m*n objectifier so pls someone match w her on wink i would love to see how this date goes down w her awkward ass

ur in class tryna concentrate on ur element n u hear someone say “you’re doing it wrong” v snippily. it’s bitna. wyd

may she pls hav a crumb of besties 🥺👉👈

#𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐕. —— 𝐏𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐎 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀 𝐍𝐎. 𝟏𝟒 𝐎𝐏. 𝟐𝟕 𝐍𝐎. 𝟐 / OUT OF CHARACTER #wx:intro

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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I loveeeee the way ur brain works and i like all ur posts and love reading them. Its Jimin day today and i wont lie that i am feeling a bit sad about whole JK not posting on JM bday because he was getting active on Social media again and i thought its because of JM bday coming soon but i hope they are happy and JM had a blast celebrating his bday.. it annoys me how other ship( u know which ship) is happy and making fun about this situation and calling Jikook bond fake and nonexsistant. 1/2

Ahhhhhh this topic!

Also me:

Packing my bags off these shipping streets. Jk don disgrace us. Lol. Kidding. If more than anything today has solidified my faith in JK and Jikook and while y'all are jumping ship imma hold the fort. Hashtag Jikook for life!

I've been receiving a lot of questions about this, about JK not posting for JM's birthday and I haven't answered any of them because- well I passed out. So...

Anywho,

Jk didn't post true, but have you thought about what it would have meant for him and JM if he had posted?

Now I see a lot of people running through the ship streets shouting Jikook broke up, something was off between them, Jikook was never real, jikook this- Jikook that- y'all need to calm your horses or I swear to God!

I mean I am down for all that wild gossip and angst but I think y'all is tripping.

Do I think they are in a bad place, HELL NO. Do I think they are not real? HELL NO! Do I think JK don lost his minds? ABSOLUTELY.

Lol

No but seriously, I'm fascinated by all of this. I'm in pain, can't process shit but when it comes to Jikook I'm always intrigued and fascinated by them.

I'm mostly fascinated by why JK pulled a 5/8, geared up for JM's birthday but then posts crickets on Jimin's birthday as you've said.

Is it me or does this whole thing feel like the tattoo girl scandal all over again? Lmho.

Up until now, I've avoided addressing Asks about Jikook coming out, JK proposing and stuff like that because those territories are a bit tricky for me- to speculate on those, I find I'd have to speculate on whether marriage is something both of Jikook want, whether both of Jikook want to come out but these are conversations I don't think y'all are ready for with me.

Not when I believe one of them, if you've been following my train of thoughts you'd know which, is not ready to make such commitments, joking about marriage and shit- yes, that tiny man. Lol.

I mean the backlash I get for the tamer things I share on here- chilee, y'all is about to eat me up for this. Here goes nothing. Mama pray for me.

I have said, late 2018 to the middle of 2019 is one of the moments I sincerely felt JK was going to 'out' Jikook just based on the way he was moving through that era until that impromptu hiatus and the following scandal.

Out Jikook as in OUT Jikook- I've told y'all Jikook have been asserting themselves against eachother. JK has been asserting himself and part of that self assertion ties in with his sexuality. He is tired of hiding. He's been tired since 2016- trouble this one.

Do I think JM is ready to come out- No. He doesn't want to come out but he doesn't want to hide hide either. Dude just want to stay in that glass closet.

Throughout my posts, I've speculated this has been a huge part of their on and off dynamics since November last year. Jk coming off too strong, JM asking for space- yall know don't make me repeat myself.

November 2019 up until today is also one such periods I felt JK was going to out Jikook, inspite of all the ups and downs they've experienced this season.

JK scares me to be honest with you. I keep saying people are looking at him wrong. Hell, people are looking at Jikook dynamics wrong I feel.

All the times Jikook have almost been accidentally outed, who's been the most terrified? It's not JK.

Jimin's face when RM said JK sneaks into JM's bed at night, his face when they walked into JK's room on Bon V and saw the cameras. I have an entire dissertation on this on my wall please get with it. Lol

Whatever silent protest JK's been on since JM's birthday last year- Not gonna lie, I felt JK was not posting for the others so he could post on JM's birthday this year as a way of coming out with him? You know, make a bold statement like he's done over the years? I'm delusional but also dead serious.

Each time I feel JK's come close to this pivotal moment, something's happened. I swear Jikook is taking years off my life- I'm exhausted.

Why is he trying to out their relationship on his own and not do that with the consent of Jimin? I'm gonna pray to God, y'all can read my mind with everything I have been saying since my posts because this is cutting it too close for me- and I'm exhausted so maybe another post next time.

Like I've said, I really believe they are in a good place this time around. Y'all know me, I don't shy from angst, I'd say if I felt there's been something off with them since they fixed whatever they were going through early half of the year.

The only tension I've sensed between them lately was on day two of the online concert when JM got a little too excited with trying to sell the sexual tension fantasy in his other ships and JK didn't look like he was happy about.

Later during the curtain call you could see dude cold stoning JM resulting in JM doing what he does best in such instances- clinging on to JK for their life. Lol.

He vanished from Namjoon's side real quick to take the bow next to JK but JK- Y'all check that moment out for yourself, see what I'm talking about.

Is that why he didn't wish Jimin a happy birthday? I don't think so. I think he put a lot of thought and preparation towards this moment to make something like this undo all of that- that is if my suspicions about what he was trying to do this year is right.

Jimin gone wake up married one of these days he won't know what hit him! Lmho.

It is why, I don't buy this whole he didn't post for the others which is why he didn't post for Jimin narrative. When have you known Jk to care about things like these?

The man literally got a birthday present for Jimin gave it to him in the presence of some of the members without doing same for them. Singling JM out like this is nothing new to him. He has done so consistently over the years to let this deter him.

The question y'all should be asking is why he didn't post for the others in the first place. They are all friends and posting for eachother's birthdays is a long standing tradition in BTS so why is he breaking from this culture all of a sudden?

Is he rebelling? Is he protesting? What is he trying to do? Right?

This moment has been building up since last year after JM's birthday and I honestly believed he was going to go through with it- hell I bought a wedding dress and shit- Jikook you son of bish!

I have said the company is giving them much room to be themselves, RM isn't breathing down their necks, JM looked like he was finally committed- everything looked great between them in my opinion except perhaps for the growing tensions between JK, V and Namjoon- If you've been paying any attention to their recent Twitter war.

I hate speculating based on nothing, so I'm just going to point out to you my observations without drawing conclusions- I'll share my thoughts on what these moments means when I've had more content to peruse and analyze from now- but for now you can make of it what you will:

1. JK starts a count down on Twitter, JM responds and continues the countdown.

Now I clocked, the moment JK posted this on the 5th that he had something up his sleeves with regards to Jimin which I shared with y'all. He was going for a 5/8/13 it's not news now.

2. After Jimin posts day 4 for the countdown, who ever was going to post after him was going to have to post day 3 to continue the countdown right? But Tae posts a V-cut instead breaking that chain.

Now I remember joking about this moment with a friend, rolling my eyes exclaiming, here they go again! V is trying to sabotage JK yet again, and he'd turn around and ask why their friendship is dwindling. The pettiness and passive aggressiveness of it all!

That moment reminded me of when he called JK out for attempting to eyefuck JM through the viewfinder in the Dynamite MV reaction video. Remember that? Same energy to me.

They do shit like this and their shippers will not take note but will turn around and act surprised when we say Taekook ain't all that- rolling my eyes.

3. Hobi continues the countdown with day 3 and RM posts something random the next day but I think it was to neutralize the Taekook shenanigans. Neutralizing is what RM does best- we been knew.

4. Jk posts his Savage Love cover on the 8th and equally doesn't partake in the countdown he himself initiated because- Savage.

5. Suga posts day 2. RM and Jin posts day 1 and Tae posts D-Day on the D day to promote the concert. Yadda yadda yadda.

Now I didn't think much of this moment to be honest- i merely took a mental note of it for future reference, and was paying close attention to their interactions at the concert- which we will talk about soon..

I didn't make much of this bit until VJoonKook became a hold out on Jimin's birthday. They were the last three to post, two of whom ended up not posting at all for Jimin"s birthday- fucking traitors.

It was at this point I felt compelled to put on my tinfoil hat. And reevaluate the situation.

Why were these three people the same trio engaged in that little squabble just a few days ago on the timeline? I wondered.

It felt as if Taekook were engaged in a Russian Roulette racing the clock while Joonie stood by waiting to neutralize whatever shit those two were going to pull on the timeline.

Call me delusional but I felt JK was going to post, Tae was going to try to one up him with a ridiculous post or counter his post- V and his fucking VMin agenda! Lmho

RM was going to end up mirroring whatever JK was going to post to neutralize it as per usual- leave me alone. I said I'm delusional. Let me be. Lol.

There's just a lot going on all at once and it's easy to lose sight of subtle moments like these when they happen.

Like Jimin saying he would be on VLive soon, which first of all- yay!

Y'all know I've been keeping my eyes on the app, most especially how the members are going to use it post IPO, post Soop- I have a lot of questions; will they be monitored like they were in May? Will they be able to have intimate interactions with the fans like before?

Y'all know my theory about Jikook and the VLive stuff so I'll leave it there.

Now as for what this moment here means, I think it's a humbling experience for all of us but mostly for Jimin-JK you sonova bish! Lol

Jimin is the one who loves to flex his bond and relationship with JK, he loves to show off their relationship. He is the one who's been called all sorts of names under the sun just because of his relationship with JK- even if they are friends.

None of the members have suffered and paid a price for their relationship with JK the way Jimin has throughout the years. It is why I hate it when people compare the others to him. Even if it placates you and lessens your insecurities please don't.

I'm not pressed about no ship wars. Hell, I often start one myself- what? fun.

I'm worried for Jimin mostly.

I think JK more than anyone knows how this looks. Which is why I really don't think this is what he was aiming for all along. To make Jimin look this way- again not to say JM is better than the others he didn't post for.

I don't know what's going on with JK now but I am not about to tell you this moment is nothing. It is not nothing.

I know people want to console themselves with the whole my partner don't gotta show off on social media on my birthday to show he loves me- please shut up. Or may be don't. Y'all con shippers confound me.

This is Jikook here, showing is an integral part of their dynamics. Isn't that why people call them a fanservice ship? Because they show so much? Because they do so much?

Jikook like to show off their bond, they like claiming eachother, they like reassuring eachother and I'm sorry but Park Jimin's father set such high standards for his son's birthday for anyone who claim they love him to pull stunts like this. Do y'all know Jikook at all?! I have to ask.

Jimin loves to be treated like he is different and special. It's his love language. We know this, BTS knows this, JK knows this- don't make excuses for JK if at the very least you can't see what he was trying to do here.

Even if you don't think they are a couple they are best friends- at the bare minimum. It doesn't take more than a few seconds to login and wish a friend a happy birthday- Hobi made four and he is not dating Jimin. Just saying.

You can't yell Jikook show us a lot hence there's no need for wild theories and assumptions and bully people who come up with wild theories and then in the same breath say they don't have to openly show us they care about eachother for them to be real- Y'all are going to ship by faith now? Chileee.

I have said JK likes to retract and conceal and only shows what he chooses to show and this was his choice. It's as simple as that. He chose not to post.

He didn't do it because of no damn other members.

He occupies a huge space in JMs life to not know what this moment says about him and his highly publicized relationship with Jimin- chileee, whatever did park Jimin do to you, JK?! Jesus Christ!

Havent heard of a betrayal this grand since the birth of Judas Iscariot- Judas is that you? Lmho.

I joke but I don't find this funny at all. Bless them.

It's one thing to not post for the others, but it's different for Jimin. And this is not to say the others don't matter to JK, they do. He's called them all family but then again he hasn't placed any one of them on a pedestal the way he's placed Jimin on a pedestal now has he? So we cannot assume Jimin means the same to him as the others mean to him.

Isn't that why we ship them?

Personally, I'm hurt by all of this. It hurts me that some people are going to use this as an excuse to tease and bully Jimin, call him a liar, call into question the years of friendship between Jikook, call into question any future interactions between them- I don cried my eyes out all day for Jimin but also for JK.

It hurts that I have to defend JK and Jikook to anyone. The task wasn't easy before all of this- not that anybody sent me. Who died and made me their spokesperson. Chileee

But please let's not dismiss this moment or belittle it. It's monumental- to me anyway.

JK was on to something I'm just curious to know what stopped him this time around. I want to know if he plans on not posting at all for anyone in the future. How long is he going to keep at it?

He's tried to out them twice. Will he do it again? How is he going to do it? What is Jimin going to do if indeed this is what JK had been planning, how is this going to affect their dynamics- I'm excited for their journey however it goes.

It's their journey unauthored. I'm just here to observe and report- and may uWu while I'm at it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, we gotta ask ourselves, had JK posted anything at all today knowing full well he hasn't posted at all for anyone in the group all year, that what would that have meant for their relationship? What message would that have sent?

While we lament about this moment, let's also take a minute to ponder over what this moment might have signified if JK had actually posted.

Everything he did in the days leading up to Jimin's birthday pointed to the fact he was definitely going to post. To me it felt he was gonna come out. He was. And if he had done it- my god!

JK isn't my favorite person right about now. He can go ahead and step on leggos. No kithes for him🙄

But I have faith in him. Always. He's consistently shown and proven his love and loyalty for Jimin through out the years. You don't nibble on a man's ear in front of sixty thousand people, to find posting a simple message on his birthday tedious. This is Jikook. If it feels wrong, it is wrong.

I wish I could tell yall, this moment means nothing, that JK not posting is not a big deal but I can't. This moment is everything.

Signed,

GOLDY

#jikook #jikook theories #kookmin analysis #jikook analysis #kookmin #jikooktheories #kookmintheories #jikook is real #ask goldy #ask response #ask about jikook #goldy #nightswithkookmin #jikook scenarios

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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

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My headcanon has always been that Alec figured out he was gay very early in life (I've ALWAYS been/I ALWAYS knew/I ALWAYS dreamed) which is... interesting bc visibility and representation must have been a huge issue when he was growing up. This sort of reinforces my interpretation that Alec has always been very in touch with his feelings and very honest about them (he only chose to hide/not act on them). Which is I think what Magnus figured about him from the very beginning ->

-> (it's rare to find a shadowhunter with such an open heart). Which is also funny and sort of on point bc Alec's siblings were widely mistaken about Alec's issues. It also explains why Alec doesn't have any major hang-ups about relationships or expressing his feelings, something a lot of viewers took an issue with (like why is Alec not emotionally stunted or things like that). That said, I keep thinking about Magnus and how he was exploring his sexuality. I mean imagine Magnus talking to his father. Magnus: I feel like I'm into both men and women 🤔 Asmodeus: Great! The amount of people you can seduce and murder has increased exponentially 👀 I mean, poor Magnus 💀

i feel bad for laughing at the asmodeus part but ur so correct hdbdudbdidndidndidndidn

and u know i agree with u 100% on the Alec stuff, this is a hill I'm willing to die on, Alec knew that he was gay since forever, he wasn't lying to himself, he just chose to keep it to himself. he made that very clear every time he talked about it too, i always KNEW i couldn't get what i wanted, I've ALWAYS dreamt, like you said. key words always, knew, and wanted. he was extremely aware throughout the whole process and i can't see it any other way. Alec is terrible at lying and that includes to himself, hes painfully logical and aware and hes been trained to pay attention to his own body/reactions/thoughts and approach them logically and dissecate them from the very beginning. theres no way he was oblivious to his own feelings, or else his lies in s1 wouldnt be so clearly bad.

Alec is, for better or for worse, painfully self aware and that's something i identify with, possibly the part of him i relate to the most. he's struggling because he know it's not safe to come out and he's decided that he wont, so he doesn't, to anyone. but he knows exactly how he feels and that that's his choice. then, when he meets Magnus, he's confused, not because he wasn't ready to face that he liked men (he knew that pretty damn well) but because he was questioning whether he really wanted to go through with his "closeted for eternity" plan. and there was the whole marriage thing. but he wasn't confused about what he wanted, not for a second. he was confused about what he was going to do, and how honest he could be to Magnus about it.

and like you said that's why their transition into a relationship goes relatively smoothly. if Alec were in denial, it would be a lot harder for him to go from that to the Alec we see later on, who is very emotionally available and open with Magnus, who loves him openly and unashamedly, who threatens Maryse to make her respect him and their relationship, who bursts into Magnus' house like "hello lets have sex". Alec can fit into a relationship with so much emotional honesty because he's always been emotionally honest. he just chose not to tell people about it because he was in a place where that wasnt safe

as for Magnus! I hc that his sexual discovery went like, relatively smoothly. I mean he was raised in a recently-colonized Indonesia, which. okay had europeans out there trying to ruin things, but was very open and accepting of both gender and sexuality, and didn't have a binary view of either. and asmodeus wouldnt care because like you can't tell me that demons and angels give a shit about gender, even if by some odd reason they did have a gender system that's exactly like the modern western european mundane one. so i think that growing up, Magnus didn't have a lot of issues with his sexual & gender identity. It wasnt like "figuring out" and "coming out", more like it slowly became clear and he was like "okay". not a lot of denial involved.

I've talked about this here (sexuality) and here (gender) and there i put more sources and everything so I'm... gonna leave that here rjdndjdnfk but i think Magnus' self discovery wasnt the problem, the problem was the shock of getting to England after the Asmodeus Yeet and seeing how different things were.

i mean, he was no stranger to queerphobia (he had a dutch stepfather after all) but when he was a kid, the dutch didnt really manage to colonize Java and interfere with their customs because the javanese empires were stronger, so they were mostly settling by going there to trade, same as always. so Magnus didn't really have to live in a time where people had to hide who they were

and then he comes back from Edom and it's like. you will literally be executed for this. what in the fuck. people meet in like secret underground clubs, terrified of making every mood. some dont even do that and suffer alone. no one thinks this is weird. people act like its always been this way. what the fuck

and hes struggling because after he banished asmodeus he thought he could finally be himself, you know? escape the need to like get his approval and the fear of angering him, get away from his gross, manipulative claws - you get it. he thought he could breathe and be out in the open and live his own life, but he can't, because so many parts of who he is - his culture, his origins, his gender, his sexuality, the color of his skin, his heritage, his powers - are being constantly repressed by the meat grinding machine of early capitalism and colonialism, and it's like, wow.

so Magnus never really lied to himself, either, but he did learn how to hide, and do it well. he doesn't have a lot of internalized queerphobia in the sense that he thinks it's bad that he's trans and bi, but one of the most prominent results of queerphobia in his life (aggravated by a thousand other things) is that hes gotten used to bottling things up and compartmentalizing himself and his identity. hes learnt to be what ppl expect him to be, and to show them only what hes safe to. its instinctive for him, to hide certain parts of himself, be it his immortality, his queerness, or his pain. and it's one of the reasons he struggles so much to be fully open and honest with Alec about how he feels. it's why it's so instinctive for him to stop everything and hide because his glamour went down. he knows that Alec knows about it, but he's used to hiding the parts of himself that people dont want to see

and that's without throwing Camille and her abuse into the mix (which i talked more about in the aforementioned links. like not to self promote but i am pretty proud of those asks so you know) and of course Asmodeus himself, and how they also taught magnus to hide his weaknesses, not be honest, "stop whining", cut off his own feelings and thoughts to please them. again i talked about this in the links. okay ill stop idndidn

in short, Magnus never really struggled to come to terms with his identity, but he learnt quickly that he isn't palatable, and he never will be - not to his mom (even if again i dont think she killed herself because of him, but Magnus believes it), not to his stepfather, not to his father, not to mundanes, not to the white european queer community, not to anyone. so he knows that, to survive, he needs to be able to bottle things up, and even if the people he loves work hard to convince him every day that this isnt the case (Catarina, Raphael, Ragnor, Dot, Alec) old habits die hard

#im sad now lmao #ask #anonymous #alec lightwood #magnus bane #alec lightwood meta #magnus bane meta #malec meta #meta #malec #camille belcourt is an abuser #camille's trash party #asmodeus' trash party #overflowing trashcan #long post #trans magnus bane

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benichi · 4 years

Text

I played Chou no Doku (so you don’t have to) - Mizuhito’s Route Part 3

I had planned for this to be the last part but I can’t cut everything down as much as I wanted to so the suffering shall end not just yet. Since I took such a long break I actually had to replay the latter half of the game cause my brain has rejected most of those memories to save at least a bit of the sanity I have left lol. But I promised to do this and I’m commited to see it through! I am the top Chou no Doku blog after all 😂 Also SPOILER warning. I put it under the read more last time but since it’s a thing they talk about constantly now I can’t do that anymore.

When we left off the last time Majima and Yuriko were having a ... sensual? moment in the garden with some vegetables. Apparently their... activities left her feeling invigorated.

After coming to the conclusing that that the vegetables made her feel alive (and definitely not the BJ instructions Majima gave her on a cucumber) Yuriko retreats to her room. While thinking about her brother she’s interrupted by a visitor: and who else could it be but Shiba. Mizuhito has also come to entertain said man (or rather to mark his territory) As usual the two men end up bickering like 5 year olds as Mizuhito tries to display how poor the family is doing in order to ward Shiba off. Since Yuriko tries to smooth things over at least a little bit her “brother” decides to run off to a Brothel once again.

Yuriko is irritated since he’s about to break his promise and ends up chasing him down. As I said this is like watching a bunch of children squabble.

If only it were just siblings being dramatic.

Here’s where the magic happens. Yuriko spends paragraphs explaining that her brother is still her family - even if they’re not related by blood and so on.

Can’t I just become a single old cat lady

I love how she calls him Brother in the same sentence that’s supposed to sell me that she loves him romantically.

But one choice later she’s all over him and saying stuff like “I’ve finally caught him” I mean wtf girl you promoted him from family to Lover in under a minute. So they end up huddling close together and Yuriko once again has her “mmm gotta talk about smell” moment. I think this gives us a pretty good idea what the sax scenes in the original are like lol.

Shiba eventually stumbles upon them and is obviously not happy with what he’s seeing. He parts ways with Yuriko by whispering into her ear that this Brother of hers is her biggest flaw. I mean he’s dishing out the truth, let the man talk.

I felt that.

I’m gonna puke. Cue gross moment of “Ohhh I’m a bad big brother because I want to kiss my little sister” “Noo we can’t to that Onii-chan” “Aww let’s at least try to see if we feel ~g u i l t y~” like my dude wtf. Honestly this scene was gross imo because he totally coaxed her into this and she just kind of convinces herself that kissing him is so a w e s o m e despite initially being totally against it like yikes.

WELL MAYBE CAUSE YOU LIVED AS SIBLINGS FOR Y E A R S

Voila, I told you.

Despite what one may think he doesn’t want to draw her nude yet. Since he makes such a big deal out of her being his ~innocent~ little sister Yuriko survived this encounter with her innocence still intact.

On the next day their Grandma pays them a visit to assess the current situation. Obviously the 1. solution to every problem in this game is either murder or getting hitched to someone that’s wealthy. Grandma proposes the latter.

They can’t decline her proposals immediately to avoid suspicion but to the two of them it’s clear that they want to keep their “relationship” going. Or maybe it’s not so clear because Mizuhito starts acting like a jelly 5 year old again.

Maybe it would help if you stopped calling him Brother with every breath you take.

Afterwards Yuriko models for him, but Mizuhito soon becomes distracted because he knows that even if they reject the current marriage proposals there will always be new ones incoming. He says that it will ~break him if Yuriko were to marry another Man (my dude let me tell you: you were just fine in the other routes I’ve played so far).

This shit so stupid even the game can’t take all of it.

A few days later Kyoko invites the two for dinner at her house. When Mizuhito leaves the room for a bit and after Yuriko whines about that:

Seriously why does everyone here have the mind of a child.

Kyoko takes the chance to tell Yuriko about the Geisha that her ... Brother... Lover?! what do I even call these two lol. The one her BroLover had been visiting frequently. Apparently she still posseses something that belong to Mizuhito and Kyoko wants to (find out if Yuriko and Mizuhito are facking) figure out how to relay this information to him. Obviously Yuriko with her 5 year old mind doesn’t want her lover visiting the Geisha so she asks Kyoko to keep it a secret.

On the way home we are subjected to another make out scene because Mizuhito got h*rny from Yuriko’s gaze. This scene is more “intense” to tell us that the frick frack is coming up soon but not quite yet.

If I took a shot every time she says Brother or Family then maybe I wouldn’t have to suffer like this.

I don’t know about you but I certainly don’t exchange gentle kisses with my older Brother.

After calming his raging... emotions Mizuhito says that they shouldn’t go too far since he thinks of Yuriko as special. Yuriko however feels “betrayed” by this like heavens forbid he didn’t rip her clothes off and bonk her in a dark dirty alleyway. How dare he.

In order to prevent Mizuhito from potentially bonking that Geisha who still has one of his “things” in a dark dirty alleyway instead Yuriko concludes that sending someone else to visit the Brothel is a great idea. She decides to ask Majima, her first love in case you forgot, and goes to visit him. When Mizuhito questions where she’s going in the middle of the night she comes up with the most convincing excuse ever:

Marvelous.

We’ll leave things here for now. So how will Yuriko’s first love react to this odd request? And how does this clusterfuck of a story end? You’ll find out in the (this time for real) final next part!

(The last part will definitely be up before Thursday cause I’ll be focused on Collar x Malice Unlimited then)

#chou no doku #choudoku #mizuhito #ripple effect stories #otome game

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noahhernandez · 4 years

Text

2/9/2015 v. 8/11/2020

1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. My favorite movie is Scream, and it started when I saw the midnight premier of Scream 4 with my dad back when I was in 8th grade, then Scream 1 came on AMC late on night and I just really like it

I still think Scream is one of my favorites, but Halloween has jumped up there just because I am obsessed with all things horror really lol. I started to love Halloween because of the new trilogy.

2:Talk about your first kiss. It’s really not that interesting but really like embarrassing. It was with my first boyfriend and I had just turned 15 and we were at the school just walking around and we went into the band hall and I was like ok im leaving and he was like wait and we kissed and i was like o

the same !

3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. I never really have had intense feelings for anyone. I d k

One my exes- I mean we were dating for awhile so that’s pretty intense to me.

4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far. I regret… Nothing really I mean, I have done really bad things in my life, but i don’t regret them

I regret failing like 2 semesters of college lmao and almost dropping out. If i didn’t then I would 1- would have been done earlier and 2- would have already completed a year of grad school but IDK also another is wasting lots of money in 2017-2018

5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. The best birthday I’ve had was.. Idk This year was was nice I saw Iggy Azalea in concert, then I celebrated my friends’ birthday then mine and it was just everyone got to get together so ya this year my 18th

For my 21st birthday I went to Portland, Oregon and spent the weekend there and it was pretty and my first time there so it was nice despite what I think about PDX now. I don’t even know what I was doing for my 19 and 20th birthday lol.

6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. My 17th birthday because I was stuck 2 hours away from home with a bunch of nerds doing a band competition

That is still probably my worst birthday. I forget to mention that I was gone literally from like 7am to midnight. They werent a bunch of loser nerds, they were my friends, but I still wish I was just at home lol.

7:Talk about your biggest insecurity. I am skinny, but not fit. If I eat anything I get this like stomach and it makes me so sad. and ever since I got a job I work odd hours and I eat a lot of fast food and I’ve gained 10 pounds in 2 years and I guess i’m insecure about my weight

I am still insecure about my weight, and I probably weight like 5 pounds more than I did when I made this post 5 1/2 years ago.

8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of. We have band banquets for band, and I only went my sophomore and junior year, and seniors give out awards to underclassmen that are just jokes really, and both years 4 different seniors gave me an award for being the biggest gossip in the entire band and I was proud of that lol

Well since then I have graduated both high school and college. I am proud that I finished college !! A BS in Psych. Proud of myself that I got promoted (in 2017) at my job; i’m proud of myself that I have my own apartment, and blah blah basically just doing regular adult shit.

9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my nose because of how perfectly fixed it is. I also really like my freckles/moles/dark marks idk what they are exactly, but they’re on my face and they look great

I still feel the same way about this, maybe add my eyebrows- they’re not like clean and nice they’re just expression markers on my face that i love.

10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. I got into a fight with my old friend Angelica and that was almost 4 months ago and we used to be best friends and now we never talk.

When Janett didn’t talk to me all summer of 2019 because I told our other friend Angel something

11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. I cant remember one 12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. I can’t remember one

13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The closest thing i’ve had to like sex was being locked in a back of an SUV with a stranger drunk as fuck and naked and its embarrassing

Just awkward and nothing to which I expected.

14:Talk about a vacation. When I was 16, the high school band took a trip to Hawaii, and all my friends were in band so it was great. We did a lot of things, we toured Pearl Harbor and even played a few patriotic songs on the USS Miss. and our hotel was on Wakiki beach. I went snorkeling in some beautiful water and shit and idk just walked all around Hawaii having a great time omg we got on stage at the Hard Rock Cafe and sang with German people i miss it

Hm that was fun. But I.. went to NY with my ex and that was pretty cool because I literally love New York, and I went to NOLA two years ago (today actually) and got miserably drunk so that was fun too

15:Talk about the time you were most content in life. Probably just in the middle of junior year when everything and everyone was going with the flow

I feel like 2016 was a very content year because I remember nothing about it.

16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. Idk which one to talk about the one where I had a lot of fun and risked my life or the one where there was a lot of drama stirred up and drank myself to sadness.

I haven’t really been to a party? I have gone out and had good times. Really anytime my friends and I go out I am having a good time

17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with. I am already friends with people I want to be friends with

18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I kissed a boy on the back of the head and i told I just fell onto his head

Let me think of another one. Back in like fourth grade my friend was in a wheel chair and his backpack was falling from the back and I was trying to grab it and i was only 3 feet tall i couldnt see over or wasnt paying attention and i crashed him right into the bookshelves at the library.

19:Talk about something that happened in middle school. A girl was mad at me because idk why lol and she pushed me in the hall way and I fucking flew across that hall on the floor and hit the wall she’s pregnant now

When I was in 5th grade (which is considered middle school in my district) I was standing on the play ground and someone threw a stick at my head and it knocked me the fuck out and I was bleeding from my temple.

20:Talk about something that happened in high school. In Jr. Year I was pulling into the parking lot but I was texting and I accidentally put half my car on grass area near the side walk luckily it was 7am and only one person saw me do it lol

One summer going into our senior year we had a party at Michelle’s house. First of all we were very drunk and Coby’s parents were like we are coming over and we cleaned TF UP so fast and sat on the couch and turned on I Know What You Did Last Summer and his parents were like interesting and and left and then we continued to drink anyways- we started playing truth or dare and my friend Angelica was like I dare u to kiss Anthony (someone I had liked prior) and he wouldnt and we started attacking him and calling him homophobic and hitting him with pillows lmao- him and I are still friend-ish

21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I can’t think of something right now.

Literally anyone on grindr.

22:Talk about your worst fear. I’m afraid of having no career and being stuck doing something I hate and living paycheck to paycheck

Yeah, I’m scared of that still but I.. think just like being broke and jobless. RN with the pandemic we aren’t really working and still getting gov’t assistance, so. IDK being a real real adult scares me a lot.

23:Talk about a time someone turned you down. I can’t think of a time :)

One time in like 2016 maybe idk - this dude told me to come over and he lived far like not that far maybe 25 minutes lol far for me anyways I got to his apartment and there was a gate code and i asked him what it was and he didnt answer and it was like 2-3am and nobody was coming in or out and so i was like damn this sucks lmao

24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. Nothing really has meant a lot to me. Everyone tells me the same thing over and over again and its so surface level

I still can’t think of anything but I’m sure the friends I have met since this and my friends Faith, Michelle, Peter, and Alisa have said something supportive that meant a lot to me.

25:Talk about an ex-best friend. Angelica Ramirez. She was my best friend for only 3 years, but together we went through A LOT of shit. We started out senior year just fine, but she lied about a few things and made a lot of us feel like crap in October. I won’t lie, I do miss her. We have too many memories to just forget, too many funny stories and great adventures. She helped me with too much, and sometimes I think about how I cut her out of my life and I mad a bad choice. But only time can heal things and I have moved on and truly found people that won’t make me mad every 30 seconds.

Brianna Pajak, I don’t remember anything about her except she was poor and we stopped being friends because she always wanted to fight and be annoying.

26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Lay on bed on my computer and watch TV

I normally just suffer and cry about wishing I was healthy again.

27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. Their…!!>>>???

I must have nice hands and ur nose must be nice too! so nose and hands. lol

28:Talk about your fetishes. none

yeah I don’t have any lol not that I can think of.

29:Talk about what turns you on. Idk i really like kissing and touching and this is awkward.

30:Talk about what turns you off. bad breath by

that and ugly/rough hands, acne sorry i know it is natural but, shorter than me lol, white people, long hair on guys, and thats about it i think hm i am single yes

31:Talk about what you think death is like. I think its like idk its scary tho

um idk i dont like thinking about death because i literally want to cry when i think about it.

32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. I remember being in trees a lot

My step grandma’s a lot because my parents were working and she would watch us. She passed away about a month ago :(

33:Talk about what you do when you are sad. I usually only tell one person and that person is Alisa and I cry sometimes to her and expect her to make things better and she does thank u

I be doing the same thing, I text someone and that person could really be anyone but it happened the other day and I texted Bri and she was very helpful.

34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. I have no idea, I’ve never broken pulled strained twisted fractures or anything i have no life

I still haven’t done any of that stuff to my body. I also have burn scars but I did not feel those when it was happening. I would just say i guess my wisdom teeth coming in because I did not get them removed. I have 3 out lol.

35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Pushing potential love interests away

I have had some ‘love interests’ since this post, but it’s been about a year now since and I kind of push away the opportunity of getting close to someone. I also need to stop being a bitch sometimes.

36:Talk about your guilty pleasures. eating

I would say idk eating was a stupid answer.

37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. never

I was in love and i didn’t ‘think’ I was in love. I don’t know what you mean by talk about them, they were my partner but we broke up hehe.

38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Fireflies by Owl City reminds me of my 7th grade crush Fancy by Iggy Azalea reminds me of my two friends Michelle and Alisa idk anything else

um Idk. i rly cant think 39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. I wish I would have known that

That it’s okay to tell people you’re struggling lol . That is okay to fail sometimes (school). 40:Talk about the end of something in your life. everything is just about to start

When I ended how to get away with murder I wish I never did I love that show with all my heart.

#personal

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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taejeonie · 4 years

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markhee on knowing bros

MARKHEE ON KNOWING BROS YAYAYAYAYAY

but literally i want nct to appear on knowing bros p l e a s e

hmm i think by the time of their guesting, the public already knew of their relationship

but tbh hypothetically speaking,,people really wouldn’t know the boys are dating someone until they’re like old or something...i think they’d hide it pretty well :>> BUT FOR THE SAKE OF ME AND ANON WANTING MARKHEE TO APPEAR ON A VARIETY SHOW HERE U GO

the announcement was made about two and a half years into their relationship,,,a staff member ratted them out ://

most of them were supportive ofc!!!

minority of the people weren’t supportive of them mostly bc they don’t want them dating but then again we’re not talking about them ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

most of the comments were like

“MARKHEE YAY <333” “I KNEW THEY WERE DATING!!!” “they look so cute together 🥺” “i can tell they would really last for a long time” “i hope sm wouldn’t break them up >:((“ “ahh young love...this is too cute >.<“

what amazed most of them were how professional they were for the past years,,esp bc they were group mates

this is probably one of the reasons why sm was kinda chill about the situation

but then a lot of people worried about this also

like what if they fought?? or had a misunderstanding??

but i think they’re both in the correct minds to not mix work with your personal life :)) bc that’s a no-no !!

okay back to knowing bros

sm probably did it for publicity but it gave markhee stans content anyways

markhee were asked what show they would want to appear on and they both thought knowing bros would be a nice option :>

so now here they are!!!

they heard knocking from the classroom door and when they turned around they see taehee’s head popping out of the door frame

“hellooo!! (*^▽^*)”

“TAEHEE!!!”

“WOAH”

“jEOn TaEhEE”

“what brings you here?,” janghoon asked

“(〃ω〃) i brought my boyfriend-“

“WOAH REALLY?”

“THIS IS OUR SECOND TIME”

youngchul spoke up, “wait she’s younger than hyuna and edawn, right?”

“yes ,,, :>>” then taehee smiled out of shyness until her dimples were showing

“the last time i saw you, you were this small!!!,” heechul said while putting his arm up to his waist

then taehee made a cute whine and you could hear mark laugh in the background

“noooo,,,i’m older now!!”

“is this your first time appearing on a show together?”

“yeah..we picked this one :>>”

“oh really? thank you (*^ω^*),” heechul says

“alright, bring him in,” and then they were all just holding their smiles until mark comes out

taehee walked in the classroom dragging mark in with his hand

which made the guys gush at them,,especially heechul and hodong

“MARK LEE”

“THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS”

you know when mark’s like embarrassed he tries to cover his face with his hand? yeah he was doing that when walking in

so taehee just laughs at the commotion they caused

they transferred from “if you’re envious, you lose” high school

after they introduced themselves, heechul raised from his seat

“the last time i’ve been on a show with mark, we were drinking together...but now he’s with his girlfriend!! it’s like i’m witnessing his milestones-“

“HAHAHAHAH”

“this is amazing, wow” then he claps

“the last time i was on a show with them was when i was an mc for ‘weekly idol’ and they were with dream,,,” sangmin chimes in

“when did you start dating?”

“mm, about 2 and a half years ago..”

“ahh” then it suddenly goes silent in the studio bc all of their focus is on markhee

so they both laugh bc of the attention

“wHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT US LIKE THAT”

“IT’S BC IT’S REFRESHING TO LOOK AT A YOUNG COUPLE LIKE YOU!! THAT’S WHY”

“actually this is the only time we’re gonna talk about our relationship like this since we promised each other we’d keep things like,,proffessional”

“woah this is like the most mark has spoken at the start of the show,” heechul blurts out causing the set to laugh

“bc he usually doesn’t talk at much first, am i right”

“yes, you are right”

“ah cute~” one of them says

mark lee keeps on captivating other people it’s hIS CHARM!!

“when did you two meet? since predebut?”

“since predebut.”

“wait before we start,,we should ask questions properly unlike lAST TIME!! we got too excited,” soogeun cut in

taehee was the one who answered, “actually, we arrived in the company on the same day and we became friends from there”

“woah it’s like destiny? are you soulmates?,” the question makes the couple laugh

“who liked who first?,” kyunghoon asks

taehee’s eyes widen and she mentions that this is the first time they’re talking about their relationship like this with each other

“oh wow this is gets more interesting!!”

“real reactions”

“so taehee when did you like mark?”

“hmm i think during promotions for ‘kick it’?”

“woah then i liked you first”

you know that face mark makes when he’s like amazed about discovering something new and his eyes are wide and his cheekbones pop out HE’S SO CUTE AT THIS MOMENT BC HE’S MAKING THAT FACE

“oh really???”

“mark when did you like taehee?”

“when we were in the states promoting ‘superhuman’,,,so like,,a year before her”

and then taehee makes this 🥺 face and her hands were above her chest

she’s just so soft in that moment

“wait mark, so that was,,how many years after debut?”

“3 years!”

“then why during that period of time and not when you were trainees”

“hmm honestly i think it’s bc we’ve been focusing on debuting so we weren’t paying attention to each other that much,,in that way. i feel like she stood out to me the most during the time we were promoting in the states, so i paid a lot of attention to her and caught,,,feelings from there”

“the way he spoke,,you can tell he’s really sincere about what he’s saying,” janghoon says so mark becomes more shy aND IT’S JUST CUTE

“was there anything specific taehee did that made your heart skip a beat?”

mark seems to think for a moment until taehee claps her hands together and all the attention goes to her

and she’s really excited like she’s a kid in preschool who just discovered something new and is excited to tell her parents bC THAT’S WHAT TAEHEE’S FEELING RIGHT NOW

“aH!! i think i know what this is!! (＾ν＾)”

“what is it?”

“during ‘superhuman’ era right?,” mark nods, “okay so there’s this part of our dance-“

“oHH I KNOW WHAT THIS IS,” mark shouts and it makes taehee smile wider

“where we stand really close to each other like this,” when she showed them how close they stood to each other the bros were like :OO

“yeah, i think that’s it. you fell for me, right?,” taehee directs the last statement at mark

“oh but that’s really close though,” hodong says

“we did it bc the fans seemed to like it,,,mark just ended up liking it more than he should,” she said it like she was bragging about it which made the people in the studio laugh and mark collapsing to the floor out of embarrassment

“was that it mark? was that the reason?”

mark’s still laughing, “maybe it’s one of the reasons-“

“HAHAHA”

“but we spent a lot of time together when we were in the states so i think that’s the reason too”

“did you notice, taehee? that mark had a crush on you?”

taehee shakes her head, “no,,,”

“why not?”

“mark doesn’t like affection from the members in general so i thought that was why he was acting like he was at that time”

“how did he act at that time?”

then you see mark like internally sweating bc he KNOWS he’s gonna get clowned for it

“ah i’m one of the members who tend to be quite affectionate with others,,and i joke a lot too”

“she tells a lot of pick up lines”

“pick up lines?,” sangmin repeats

“yeah,,,at first i was used to it but then when i started liking her i got flustered a lot”

“i tend to get clingy with the members too like i hold their arm like this or lean on them but when i did it with mark he got shy”

while taehee was demonstrating with mark the bros were like “awww (*´◒`*)”

“does mark get jealous when you act like that towards other members?”

mark tries to hold back his laugh before saying, “a little bit” in a sMALL VOICE THAT’S WHY HE’S CUTE :((

“I ACT LIKE THAT AROUND YOU BUT YOU GET SHY!! WHY WOULD YOU GET JEALOUS?”

“no i’m not jealous of that person it’s like i wish i didn’t get flustered so easily to the point that i would shy away from you...something similar to that”

“ahh mark’s good with his words..do you write lyrics?,” youngchul asks

“we both do :>>”

“so are you each other’s muses? is it like that?”

then the other guys start teasing them causing markhee to smile and giggle ;((

“i guess you could say it like that,,”

“THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!,” then heechul stands up to give mark a high five

“are you two the same age?”

“yes!! but i’m older by four months,” then mark holds up four fingers

“wait then taehee must be really oblivious since mark liked her for a year until they got together”

“well if you put it that way...”

“honestly, i really did not think that she would like me back...that’s why i tried so hard to hide it”

“wow really?”

mark nods, “there was this one time we were in the practice room. we were preparing for a year end stage for gayo daejun,,and taehee was explaining to the camera how she hurt her head at that time”

“aww taehee hurt her head?”

“yeah :<< and he was laughing at me!!,” her pout made the other boys laugh

“that’s bc he likes you taehee”

“oh correct!! i just laughed bc of that reason!,” when mark said that it made them laugh even more bc he was so transparent about his feelings

i mean this is the only time they would talk about it why not as well go all out right?

“but then she said something like, ‘this is how your best friends treat you! you get hurt and then they laugh!’”

“ahh you got friend zoned?”

“yeah i did”

“wait hold on this is making me feel bad- i’m sorry :<<“

then taehee clings onto mark’s arm and looks at him with puppy eyes iT’S SICKENING IT MAKES YOU WANT LOVE TOO

then the guys gush at them some more, “does she often do aegyo with you?”

“i only do it to make him cringe bc it’s funny!! he’s also cute when he’s flustered”

then when she hears soogeun agree with her she becomes soft again and pouts

she goes to punch mark’s cheek

then the bros looked amused like their watching a drama or something

“taehee do you take care of mark like this? like who takes care of who?”

they’re basically asking who tops in the relationship

“i think we’re both,,,like equal in that sense”

“i’m only like this sometimes but mark really really is considerate and so careful”

“what did he do to make you say that?”

taehee clasps her hands together and she opens her mouth to say something but then she looks at the camera and says, “i forgot we were filming this for a moment”

some of them chuckled

“uHhH before he,,dOEs,,things he always asks me like ‘oh is this okay?’ ‘can i do this?’ things like that and it really melts my heart. he’s really considerate”

“ahh mark really is a gentleman”

“i agree,,”

“MARK!! how did you ask taehee out?”

“oh i didn’t ask her out”

“OH SO IT WAS TAEHEE???”

“WOAH”

“HEY GIRLS CAN DO THAT TOO” taehee has an angry pout on which made mark’s heart go boom boom

“wait we didn’t even ask taehee how she liked mark-“

“oKAY TAEHEE!! how did you like mark and how did you ask him out”

“ah i tend to overthink a lot-“

“oh isn’t that bad though?,” heechul says

“but when you get used to it it’s hard to stop,” janghoon tells him, “it just depends how you’re going to react to it”

“okay taehee continue”

“a lot of fans were saying we should date so i thought about it for a loooong time. and then i started paying more attention to mark like how he’s so dedicated and determined,,how he’s cute when he’s shy,,and how he’s like really helpful to those around him— i think that’s what captured me the most (*´ω｀*)”

“aww cute :((,” they say at her

“so how did you ask him out?”

“the only person who knew about my feelings back then was haechan,,so i asked him how should i do it. he said to just confess but i was also kinda ‘shy’ about it so i was like ‘nonono,,i won’t do that’”

kyunghoon asks, “did he know about mark’s feelings,” and mark nods at him

“so what did you do?”

“i,,(//∇//),,i tried flirting with him-“

“HAHAHAHAHAHA”

“AHH CUTE!!”

“i tried flirting with him but it won’t work bc he’s so dense also!,” then taehee hits mark on the shoulder

“really mark? you didn’t even once think that taehee liked you also?”

“like i was saying,,i tried to hide and push away my feelings. and she’s usually like that around other members so i thought she was just being her usual self with me”

“so what pushed taehee to confess?”

“actually, it’s ‘who’”

“was it haechan?”

“CORRECT!! i got into a bet- like a game,,with him the day before i confessed and i lost. his condition was that if i lost, i would confess to mark and he really really really made sure of that”

“how cute :((“

“this is like a kdrama HAHAHA”

“so i told him another pickup line that day-“

“TAEHEE!!,” heechul snorts

his reaction makes another whine come out from taehee and she’s like, “what am i supposed to do? i wasn’t ready!!!”

“does mark still remember the pickup line?”

“hmm it was in english,,it was- aH! ‘do you like haikyuu?’,,haikyuu is an anime,,’bc i laikyuu’”

“THAT’S SO CORNY HAHAHA”

“BUT IT’S GOOD THOUGH!!”

then heechul stands up again to give taehee a high five

“but when i told him that he still denied it!! he told me to go to yuta oppa and tell that to him!!”

“awww”

“so i was like,,’listen, i really really like you and if you don’t get that through your head i wouldn’t know what to do anymore’

“YOU SOUND LIKE YOU’RE THREATENING HIM”

“HAHAHAHAHAHHA”

then taehee got shy and hid her face in mark’s shoulder

“i just noticed the whole time they were standing really close to each other,,you can’t even see the space in between them”

then they gush over them for like the 92849294 time

“do you guys fight a lot?”

“as friends we fought a few times,,but i think now we understand each other more so i think i can say that we don’t really fight with each other anymore”

“ahhh”

“what were the members’ reactions when they found out you were dating?”

“they were really supportive!! they teased us from time to time but they’re really like,,fond of our relationship,,”

“how do you guys date?”

“at that time we tried to limit our like,,outings,,so we just stayed in our room for most of the time watching movies and eating”

“oH yOu gUyS sHArE a ROoM?”

some of them had like knowing looks on their faces and then mark’s like “NO DON’T THINK OF OTHER THINGS”

“HEY WE WEREN’T EVEN SAYING ANYTHING”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA”

“NO IT’S NOT LIKE THAT!!,” taehee chimes in, “we just like staying indoors and keep to ourselves”

“wait i also noticed something,” sangmin raises his hand

“what is it?”

“whenever taehee talks mark has a look in his eyes,,it’s very obvious that he loves her”

then taehee gets shy and spares a glance at mark and there IS a look in his eyes

like you know those times where mark’s eyes sparkle?? like there are stars in his eyes like 🥺

taehee just falls for him even more :((

“taehee give me five things you like about mark”

“he’s hardworking, he’s kind, he’s a great singer and he plays the guitar for me!! he’s reliable and i really like how he’s different offstage and onstage,,like he’s cute but when he’s onstage he’s like a different person”

“how bout you mark?”

“uhh taehee is considerate,,she puts others before herself,,she’s dedicated,,she treats her family well,,hmm and she dances really well!!”

ace couple

“taehee can you dance for us? then mark you play the guitar after :>>”

and then you see mark get really excited bc he’s gonna play the guitar meanwhile taehee’s like, “of cOURSE!!”

“her engergy- she’s so cute!!!!”

then they all stand off to the side while taehee dances

when she started they were like “OIIII” “WOAHH” “WAHH AMAZING”

they were really hyping her up!!

and you could easily tell how her passion is dancing

the way she flowed with every movement but still manages to hit all the points

her confidence

facial expressions,,,

i would fall for her too mark <//3

“she really is good,” janghoon mutters

“she is,” aND MARK LOOKS SO PROUD KDKAKFKSKF

markhee is cute no cap

then when she’s finished you can see heechul whisper something to mark then mark gets really flustered but just laughs it off

now it’s mark’s turn to play the guitar!!

he strums a few chords earning a few reactions from the bros + taehee!!

then he starts to play the song

and they sway to the melody

you see taehee’s cheeks get pink bc mark’s looking at her from time to time

which made the others get excited at what they’re witnessing

“ah this is so cute (*^▽^*)”

“i would marry mark,” soogeun blurts out which made taehee giggle

by the end of the song the guys clap for mark,,

and then there’s taehee at the side pressing her hands to her cheeks bc yes they’re warm and it’s bc of mark lee <//3

then they fist bump each other :>>

profile time!!

taehee wrote that ‘shouting in silence’ was one of her strengths just so that they could play the game

so taehee played with heechul

so off it was funny it’s hEECHUL + TAEHEE GUYS

heechul would find every opportunity to tease tf out of taehee offscreen and onscreen

one of the words that heechul had to guess were ‘mark’

so taehee kept shouting “MY BOYFRIEND!! MY BOYFRIEND!!”

it was so cute honestly :((

mark kept smiling and giggling and the other people were like ‘awwww’

when it was mark’s turn to play they kept teasing him cause he kept on making passes

he’s still cute so it’s aight <33

taehee won with a score of 4-2

the next game they were playing was a couple game!!

so person a had to feed person b but they're both blindfolded and they weren't allowed to touch/guide each other

first one to finish the bowl of 자장면 wins!!!

so markhee vs hodong and soogeun

taehee would be the one to feed mark

they kept laughing all through out

meanwhile hodong was like -.- bc soogeun kept on laughing

anyways,,markhee won!! they're an ace couple what do you expect

but mark got 자장면 all over his face so taehee was wiping it off with a tissue the staff gave her

so the bros were like “아이구!! 아이구 아이구!!”

so moving on to the q&a thingy

taehee was so excited bc she's been wanting to use the hammer like this ever since she watched the show

“we’ll not answer so you don't get to use it” - kim heechul

he gets hit anyways

“okay so,,i get flustered whenever mark does this”

“kisses you suddenly!”

“hugs you in front of the members!”

“wrong!!! (*¯︶¯*)”

kyunghoon calls mark and asks him if he knows the answer but he shakes his head no

“taehee mentioned awhile ago that mark plays the guitar,,so is it when he plays for you?”

“mmm that’s not the answer i'm looking for :>>”

“when he holds your hand!!,” she shakes her head again

“gIvE uS A cLuEEeEe”

“it’s something that he says,,,”

you see mark whisper to himself,,“something that i say?”

“i love you?”

“okay one last clue,,he says this when he's asking for attention,,,”

“joanie?” mark looks at her

“who’s joanie?”

“my english name,” taehee says while heechul answers “여보?”

“자기”

then youngchul becomes smart again and mentions that mark and taehee speak to other english often,,”so perhaps...something like ‘baby’?”

he said baby in english so taehee was like “CORRECT!!”

and mark laughs while he claps his hands bc he’s lowkey shy now (っ˘ω˘ς )

“he doesn't call me that all the time but when he does my heart flutters”

and the whole sets uwuing all over again

“like when he’s waking me up for example and i can't get up,,,he’s gonna hug me and say ‘babyyyy, wake uppp’ (she said that in english)”

“AAAAAAAAA”

“아이구 아이구!”

“CUTE!!”

she laughs at their reactions, “IT’S NICE RIGHT??? (♡´ ω `)”

meanwhile mark was a MESS

shy baby uwu

“when was the last time he called you ‘baby’?”

taehee seems to think for a moment before she gets all jittery and flustered making the guys more interested in what she has to say

“he was teaching me how to play a new song on the guitar,,,but instead of just telling me what the chords were he really like went behind me and put my hands in place (─‿─)”

midway through her story heechul, soogeun, and sangmin were already up and about on their seats

“AHH MARK LEE!!”

“SUCH A SWEET BOYFRIEND”

“AHH CUTEEEE!!”

every scream intensified the more this episode progressed

mark got even more shy so he was hiding his head on the table

so taehee went over to him while laughing and ruffled his hair

oKAYY MARK’S TURN!!

mark couldn't really think of a question

so since hyuck and johnny were in the waiting rooms with them before the show

hyuck was the one to write down the question for him

so as soon as mark read the question out loud he and taehee,,and the rest of the set burst out laughing

“i get jealous of the other members when- HAECHAN WROTE THIS NOT ME”

“HAHAHA”

“AW CUTE”

“but i don't get jealous that often!!,” he defends himself

“how bout when taehee cooks for the other members,,”

“she cooks for me too...”

“when she plays games on the computer when you guys are about to sleep,,so you go ‘babyyy’,” heechul’s imitation makes the rest laugh once again

cue uwu shy mark lee

they give a few more guesses until mark back tracks and says that her playing games with the other members does make him a teensy tinsy bit jealous

“but there was this one time she stayed beside me while playing games and i fell asleep,,( ◡‿◡ ). honestly,,i don't have any reason to get jealous of the other members since i know teehee’s mine anyways”

“OOOOOO MARK LEE”

“AA CUTE”

this time taehee was the flustered one,,,up to the point her face was getting hot and that she had to take a sip from her bottle

“they’re so domestic,,” janghoon comments

yes they are!!

markhee stans after watching the episode: WHEN’S THE WEDDING

anyways,,sadly the episode is coming to an end

we got so much markhee content bc of this episode

you've really seen the trust and adoration they have for each other :((

they won't say it out loud,,but the whole set of knowing bros feel like they're one of the idols who will get married and grow old together

THEN BABY MARHEE IS GONNA BE PART OF DREAM :OO

that’s all for this episode!! you’ll get to see more markhee content (dating or not dating) in my following posts!!

have a nice day!! - markhee <33

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thatrudeengineer · 3 years

Note

1/4/8/9/13/14/19! Split them up if it gets too long i just like bullying you

Munday stuff! | Always accepting

XDD It’s okayyyy I like your bullying! But obviously u dun know me yet x3 I don’t run at the sight of long posts. Buckle up everyone! We’re going for a ride!

1. What little things do you do special when writing your muse(s) that you wonder if anyone has noticed?

I really like this question, and yet it makes me genuinely wonder... One thing I do but which might not be apparent for people who only know me from one blog, is that I try (try being the keyword here) to change the tone of the writing to match the character. I can’t do much about my general style when it comes to descriptions, it just always comes back, but even then, I use different words depending on the muse even when outside of speech. I’d say that’s pretty subtle though, and maybe I’m the only one who can even notice that but that’s something I pay attention to haha!

Another small thing I like to do, despite writing in a mostly omniscient way, is keep strictly to the character’s pov, even if it means delivering skewed information sometimes. Again I don’t always do that, but sometimes it’s especially relevant and it makes me smile to myself.

I also like separating clearly the speech’s style from the description style, even if I like modifying descriptions a bit to fit the character, I avoid using accents of the specific way the character might be talking. That’s something you’ve maybe noticed in how I write Serik, he’s got specific turns of phrase that I pay special attention to.

One last thing is dropping hints to my character’s past or backstory that explain a current action. Just one line or two. Taken on its own it doesn’t seem much. It might even seem like it’s just a passing thought from the muse, or a reflection of the ‘narrator’ but then hopefully the full info comes out later in RP, or it’s explained OOCly and suddenly the scene can be read on a different level, however small. I like that, even if it’s not all that much, but at the very least I find it satisfying.

4. Has your muse ever gotten very emotional and ‘taken over’ for a reply in a way you didn’t expect?

Always. All the f-ing time! And honestly? That’s how I like my RP the best. Even when the muse isn’t emotional, I try to act as a channel for the character and to avoid guiding things as much as I can. Some muses are easier and louder than others (Serik is one such muse), but that’s what I try to tend towards, even if the action I’m getting from the muse might not seem IC or like it comes from nowhere. In my experience, there’s usually an explanation to that kind of intuition, even if we don’t see it yet. And stifling this tends to smother the muses for me. I prefer relying on the raw intuitive reactions I can get from the muse.

I know everyone is different but that’s what works for me. For me it’s not like I’m watching the character in the room with me or in a mindscape, but more like they’re behind me and I’m the channel and filter in a way. It’s a matter of getting into the right mindset to more or less disappear from the picture. There’s always a bit of leeway at least for reactions but usually they’re very clear to me when the muse is loud.

So when the muse gets very emotional, you can be sure they steer things their way even more. It’s led to really interesting plot-twists over the years. Some that even completely broke the plotting we’d done with the other mun. And I live for those moments. But it’s also part of why I’m increasingly wary of doing RP out of chronological order. I enjoy it immensely, don’t get me wrong, but I just know the muse will do a bad at some point. Something we didn’t expect and derail the RPs set later in time.

Okay... Okay I give XD The rest under the readmore because it’s long!

8. What are other formats you’ve written creatively in (poetry, prose, script, etc)?

I feel a bit bad but... None, really. I’ve done some poetry for school but that hardly counts. And some dabbling in “““““Fanfics”““““ with massive quotation marks because I was so young and I didn’t even have an outline of anything beyond what I was writing in the moment XD Nor did I really publish anything (and what little I might have is now lost somewhere in the depths of the internet, tho for the better really).

I don’t know if it can be called creative writing because it’s mostly drawing but... One thing I did a lot before diving properly into the RP scene on tumblr (my RP was purely in private with my best friend using pictochat before that), was make fancomics. That was my main creative outlet before RP took over. I would have full storylines scripts outlined -- I still have a bunch of them -- even if I never finished drawing a single of those comics. One of them (one of my biggest endeavours, really) is on my personal blog. It didn’t go too far but sometimes I miss doing those.

9. Do you like writing and building up background or NPC characters to your muse?

Answered [here]! :D

Short answer is yesssss, but only really when it’s for OCs and not as much for canon characters.

13. Do you like making promos?

I like the idea of making promos, but it’s a bit the same for me as graphic design. I like the idea of it, but I don’t think I’m good at that at all. I enjoy drawing art for fellow muns that I appreciate, sometimes even art that kind of dual-promotes both blogs, but actual promos? Nah. I really admire people who can, but I’m not cut out for making them.

14. Are you a big fan of AUs?

-Eyes Serik’s verses (still under-construction) page-

...

-Eyes other muses’ Verses pages-

>___>

-Sweats profusely-

Yes. The answer is yes.

19. Explain something on your blog that has a metaphorical/symbolical meaning or is a reference to something else (URL, a tag, blog title, etc)

Hmmm. I’m going to go with something extremely obscure. This blog’s URL used to be “ThatRunawayGuy” simply because that was a big part of then-Sail’s backstory before I reworked this character from the ground up. When I did though, it didn’t really fit as much at all anymore, so I had to find something else. But the ‘that’ in ThatRudeEngineer is a direct reference to the original URL.

Another very trivial thing I can explain that doesn’t even show is the tag I use for memes. “Dash Games”. It’s a common tag, nothing original. But I have a sort of inside joke with myself every time I write it down. Each time, I want to complete it as “Dash games will make you crash” but it’s too long and I didn’t want the possible confusion with a computer crash so I never used that. But just the idea of Serik playing games on his plane’s dashboard and nearly crashing because of that makes me smile every time.

#Anon #meme answer #ask reply #munday #((I kno who u are x3 u win this round -shakes fistsies-))

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tim-stonker · 4 years

Link

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, mentioned Georgie Barker/Melanie King Characters: Jonathan Sims, Martin Blackwood, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Sasha James, Elias Bouchard, Melanie King, Alice "Daisy" Tonner, mentioned Basira Hussain, im sorry queen it was a 5+1 and u were number 6 Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, more like AU elias isnt a bitch, 5 Times, Mutual Pining, implied Nonbinar Jonathan Sims, he's gnc, Getting Together, Comfort No Hurt, bc we need that, Just Pals Being Soft, dimples as a plot point Summary:

5 times people didn't see jon's smile plus the 1 time someone did

i wrote some gay shit about jon smiling and it became this. whole thing is under the cut, check it out on ao3 if u wanna !

-5

Jonathan Sims was an unexpected candidate for the position of Archivist, following Gertrude Robinson’s rather abrupt retirement (Elias still wasn’t sure if she was actually telling the truth when she said she wanted to spend more time travelling with her grandson. He didn’t even know if she actually had a grandson.) When word got out that there was an opening for head archivist, it surprised both Elias and Jon’s manager when he put his application into the pool. While Jon wasn’t the highest position in Research, he wasn’t at the lowest tier either, and everyone knew that being Head Archivist was much like being the mayor of a ghost town. Sure, you had a fancy title, but not much else. The Archives were in the basement, they were cold and dusty, and typically, if a budget needed to be cut, it was the Archives that took the brunt of the slashes. But, Jon was organized, faked his confidence well enough, was willing to put in the work, and, if Elias was being honest with himself, there wasn’t exactly a queue out the door to take over the vacancy that Gertrude left.

The interview went well enough, though Jon was clearly filled with nervous excitement. He kept reaching up to tuck his hair behind his ear - it was too short to stay in place, but much too long to not be a bother. His voice almost echoed in Elias’ office, strong and precise, even when he struggled with some questions that Elias asked about his strengths and weaknesses. Elias appreciated the way that Jon carried himself, the slight aura of grandeur and pride that he seemed to give off, contrasting starkly with his awkward attempts at being personable.

Though Elias told Jon that he’ll be in touch within a few days to inform him whether or not he’ll be transferred to the Archives, he’s already certain that there’s no better candidate, and, if nothing else, he loathes having new hires from outside the Institute. He can overlook a few missing qualifications if it means he can cut down on the number of interviews he has to conduct.

Elias waited a few more days, finished up more interviews, and found his suspicions were correct. Jon - despite the roughness around his edges, and his lack of a library sciences degree (an aspect that makes Rosie raise her eyebrows at Elias when he mentions it) - is the best fit for the archives that Elias has. He calls Jon into his office again, watching as Jon delicately maneuvers into the chair on the other side of Elias’s desk, fingers picking at the sleeves of his cardigan.

“I’m happy to tell you, Jonathan, that after much consideration, that you have been promoted to Head Archivist. Your transfer from the Research department will be put through promptly, and - unless you have any objections - you can begin your new role as soon as next Monday. Congratulations.”

As Elias spoke, he watched as Jon’s eyes widened, eyebrows raise, as the tension melted out of his shoulders. The corners of his lips seemed to flicker, wanting to curl upwards, but not quite able to.

“I, oh, wow. Thank you, Elias. I, uh, I’m really excited to be working in the Archives.” Jon stammered out. His voice had less of the confident bravado that it had during his interview, and while that would usually make Elias reconsider his choice, the fact that all of Jon’s nervous ticks seemed to have disappeared sated his concern.

Elias nodded, hummed, and launched into the less fun aspect of promotion, namely discussion of new contracts, pay raises, the fact that Jon would be able to ask some of his co-workers to become his assistants, but any vacancies will be filled at Elias’s discretion. Jon nodded along and asked the appropriate questions at the right time.

Perhaps he’s just bad at expressing emotions, Elias thought, though the thought is both fleeting and insignificant. It gets pushed out of the way, quickly, and is discarded, not to be thought again.

When the meeting was over, Elias stood up to show Jon to the door. Just before Jon left, Elias stuck his hand out, and once again said, “Congratulations, Jon.”

Jon looked startled for a second, before reaching out and giving Elias a hearty handshake.

“Thank you, Elias, really,” Jon replied. While saying that, the corner of his mouth twitched once again, and for a moment, Jon’s face began to break out into a smile. Eyes excited and bright, before he schooled his expression back into one of vaguely happy neutrality.

Elias released Jon’s hand, and when his office was once again empty of everyone except himself, he briefly wondered why anyone cares enough about smiling to prevent themselves from doing it.

Like most intrapersonal thoughts, though, Elias waved it away, going back to his own work, just glad that he didn’t have to get Rosie to put up any more job listings on Linkedin.

-4

Tim was surprised when Jon approached him with the job offer. Sure, he and Jon had worked together for a few years and Jon frequently complimented Tim on his work and whenever Jon actually showed up to work get-togethers, he seemed to awkwardly stick to Tim’s side like glue until the event was done. But Jon always declined Tim’s invites to non-work social gatherings, and sometimes it was hard to tell if the snark in Jon’s voice came from malice or…. Something else.

Tim had chalked all that up to awkwardness or to Jon’s work ethic, but for some reason, he never thought that Jon actually considered Tim to be a friend, even though he did tentatively think of Jon as one. So it was rather shocking when Jon marched up to him, a small stack of papers in his hands at the end of the workday, and announced,

“I’ve been promoted to Head Archivist.”

“Oh, well, congrats, Jon,” Tim said, smiling. He clapped Jon on the shoulder. “Yeah, I heard you put your application in.” Tim didn’t mention that he heard because some of their co-workers were making jokes about hoping to see the last of Jon, with his insane work ethic and snappish remarks.

Jon nodded. “I’m also allowed to pick my own assistants since many of Gertrude’s have quit or been reassigned since her absence.”

“That’s cool.”

“I was wondering if you would like to join me in the Archives, Tim.”

“Oh,” Tim said, eyes widening. Jon looked straight at him, unflinching, though his hands were curled into tight balls at his sides. This was certainly unexpected.

“I think we work well together. You do really good work, and while I’m not exactly sure what… extra work transferring to the archives will entail, I’m that your presence will be beneficial.” Finally, Jon broke Tim’s gaze. “Also, I… quite enjoy your company.”

“Wow, well, thank you, Jon,” Tim managed to stammer out. He looked at Jon’s now sheepish expression and how his cheeks had taken on a slightly red tinge from the honesty. “Uh, can I… think about it? For a few days? It’s just… kind of a big change.”

“Oh, of course, Tim,” Jon nodded earnestly, passing Tim the stack of papers, which Tim now saw as a would-be employment contract, with different sections highlighted, presumably the parts that Jon thought Tim would find important. Jon made like he was about to turn to leave before he paused and said, “Also I. I won’t be offended if you decide to stay put.”

“Oh, I know,” Tim said, even though he wasn’t sure why he knew. Jon nodded again.

“Well, see you tomorrow.” And with that and a brief wave, Jon walked away, leaving Tim to stare at the employment papers and to think about what to do. And Tim did consider it. He had a pretty good thing going on in the Research department. He was well-liked, and many of his managers said that he could probably get promoted to a higher position with a better salary in a few years, and though the entry position of archival assistant was better paying than his current gig, Tim knew he was never going to get promoted from that role.

Tim had friends in Research, but he also had friends in artifacts, and finance, and HR. The more he thought about it, it wasn’t like his work-social life would end if he went to the basement. And, as much as his co-workers liked to poke fun at Jon, Tim did genuinely enjoy his company. He liked his wit, and snark, and the way he tried to play off his awkwardness and usually failed. And despite his somewhat clumsy attempts at socializing, anytime Tim talked about his life outside of work, Jon listened, made jokes, and was friendly.

Jon was also quite easy on the eyes, in his own strange way.

Tim found it wasn’t really much of a hard decision after all. So when he walked into work the next day and tossed the signed contract on Jon’s desk, all he said was, “It better not be as dusty as everyone says it is.”

Before walking off to his own desk to finish up his own projects, for a moment he thought he saw Jon duck his head to smile. But when he looked back, Jon was just holding the contract, and though his eyes were happy, his face was straight.

-3

Sasha enjoyed her work as an archival assistant, despite all the dust, and Jon’s moodiness, and the strange errands that the statements sent everyone on. It was an unorthodox job, cleaning up the decades of bizarre filing that Gertrude left, hunting down follow-ups from people who were clearly drunk, sick, or delirious at the time that these ‘occurrences’, well, occurred.

She certainly enjoyed her co-workers, basement dwellers that they were. While archives and research had many employees and had been on floors where different departments mingled, the four of them - Tim, Sasha, Martin, and Jon - were stuck down in the cool basement, surrounded by files, and books, and old foundation. While she had been on amicable terms with Tim before, the forced proximity brought them much closer, and she was happy to meet and befriend Martin. Pretty quickly the three of them began to go out for drinks after work, plan dinners, and movie nights, and get-togethers on weekends. They sometimes invited Jon, but the answer was also unanimously no.

Still, despite Jon’s rebuffs at having a social life, Sasha always felt like her relationship with him was… different than the others. While Tim and Jon had prior acquaintanceship, Sasha only briefly knew Jon in research; and Jon was either oblivious or blatantly ignoring Martin’s crush on him, rebuffing his attempts of flirting and courtship with harsh words and mumbled, unfocused ‘thank yous’ when Martin brought him tea.

It surprised her how highly Jon thought of her, and how well they got on.

“Here’s that statement you were after,” Sasha said, after knocking on Jon’s office door. Jon turned in his chair to face her, hand outreached to take the folder when she got close enough.

“Thank you, Sasha,” Jon said, as he grasped the folder. Sasha nodded and was about to let go when she glanced down and saw Jon’s hand.

“Is that nail polish?” She asked suddenly, voice coming out more accusatory than she intended. Jon snatched the folder away from her, curling his fingers into his palms as soon as the paper hit the desk surface. He still wore his face of neutrality, but his jaw was tense. Sasha was surprised at how defensive, and how quickly, Jon reacted to the question, but immediately saw she needed to remedy it. She quickly added, “It looks nice.”

As soon as the compliment was said, Jon seemed to relax a bit. His jaw unclenched and slowly he unfurled his fingers. His nails were a simple black, though it was a messy job and they were already chipping.

“Oh, thank you.” He said softly.

“Did you do them yourself?” Sasha asked, even though she couldn’t imagine Jon asking for help to do his nails.

“Yes, er. As a child, I always wanted to paint my nails but I couldn’t, so.” He held up his hands, wiggling his fingers. “They’re not very good, are they?”

Sasha shrugged. “Pretty good for a first time, though. Next time you’ll want to push your cuticles back first, and you should probably get a varnish too. It’ll stop them from chipping so much.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you, Sasha,” Jon said, clearly not expecting advice. Sasha gave one last nod, and a, “No problem.” before leaving Jon’s office.

After that - or maybe Sasha just noticed it more afterwards - Jon seemed to come to work ‘prettied up’ more often. He seemed to listen to her nail advice, and while he often sported plain, black nails - sans chipping, thanks to the nice clear coat he put on - a few times he came into work with blue, or red, or green nails. While Martin and Tim always complimented them, if they noticed, Jon began going up to Sasha to show her every fresh set. Often it would be a week or two between appearances; Jon seemed to just let the previous coat chip off completely before repainting them, approaching Sasha with his hands curled in a way so that he could view his own nails before showing them off to her. Sasha always made sure that she seemed excited to see them, even if they weren’t always that good. The way that Jon seemed to loosen after every compliment, the way his face would soften just a tad made it worth it.

Soon it became their little routine, even as Jon’s habits changed. While it started with nails, soon Jon would awkwardly approach her to show off the fancy braid he just learned how to do with his growing hair. Often, they were messy and uneven, large strands falling out of the cheap hair ties, but Sasha would say it was nice, before offering to fix it for him. Jon always declined, disappearing into his office and coming out later, braid abandoned and hair in its usual neat bun, but Sasha always offered. For a while, Jon had taken to looking at the clothes Sasha came to work in, awkwardly complimenting her on whatever coat or blouse or shoes she had worn. It took Sasha a few times to realize what he was saying - or at least thinking.

“I like your skirt,” Jon mumbled one day, as he and Sasha walked into the archives. “It’s very pretty.”

Sasha hummed, looking down at it. It wasn’t anything fantastic, just a black a-line skirt with a vaguely plaid pattern, long enough to be work-appropriate without annoying her. She mostly wore it because the growing pile of dirty laundry in her flat left her few other options.

“Thank you, Jon,” she replied, before pursing her lips. “You know, I think you would look quite nice in a skirt.”

A bold move, Sasha knew, but after Jon sputtered for a moment, he managed to choke out, “You… you do?”

“Oh, yes. You got nice, slender legs, and if one a little longer it would just add to the frumpy librarian look quite nicely.” Sasha laughed a little, unable to resist the urge to tease a little. Jon gave a polite chuckle and nodded.

They repeated this process a few more times, over a few weeks. Jon would give Sasha a sincere, if not a bit bumbling compliment on her wardrobe or appearance (often for items Sasha did not care for that much) and after thanking him, she would flip it around and say, “I think this lipgloss colour would suit you better than me” or " a blouse like this would make your collarbones look good” or even being as bold as saying “You should get a dress like it, then we can match.”

Jon would brush the comments off with a laugh or a denial, but Sasha could see the wheels in his head-turning, the way he would occasionally look at whatever pair of pants he was wearing that day and frown.

Eventually, Sasha’s hard and not-so-subtle work paid off when she saw Jon shuffle into the archives, not in his usual attire of plain cardigan and button-up, tucked into a pair of boring pants, but with a new look: a cardigan and plain button-up tucked into a shockingly boring skirt. It suited him, though; the long grey fabric skimming his ankles, the way it would flow behind and the way his feet would kick it in front. Jon’s fingers seemed to be absent-mindedly twisting themselves into the fabric, as he made his way towards his office.

Sasha was right; Jon did rock the frumpy librarian look.

“Good morning, Jon,” Sasha greeted, cheerfully. Jon looked up.

“Morning, Sasha.”

“New wardrobe?” She asked, nodding at his outfit. Jon seemed to falter a little, standing still, waiting for her assessment. “I like it! Really suits you.”

And while that was a bit of a lie - Sasha found it to be a bit boring, and she would never have even considered buying herself, though it did quite Jon wonderfully - Sasha couldn’t bring herself to feel the least bit bad, when she heard Jon mutter a soft, “Thank you,” before hurrying to his office. For a split second, Sasha would have sworn that his lips were pulled into a smile, thought for a moment she saw a flash of his teeth, but he was opening and closing his office door before she could confirm.

-2

Despite all her grumbling, thrown insults, and jabs, Melanie didn’t actually dislike Jon. Well, no, she did dislike him, immensely. He’s smug, and rude, and has a know-it-all attitude, and he absolutely did not take her show seriously. But, behind all of that, he respected her abilities and her competence, if not the way that she uses it. She thought of it like she wouldn’t want anything to hurt Jon unless it was her giving him a good slap around the head.

Still, when she ended up hanging around the Archives more - and shockingly, no one, not even Jon, tried to stop her - after her show fell apart and took most of her professional network with it, she’s surprised how much common ground she shares with Jon. At first, they needed someone else in the room with them, to grease the wheels of conversation - either Sasha siding with Melanie every once in a while, or a well-timed joke from Tim, or Martin’s placating tone - but every time they found themselves able to stand each other without any assistance, even starting their own conversation. Without her show, with its staged dramatics and clickbait titles to feed Jon’s antagonisms, they find that they have similar opinions and histories with the supernatural.

“Most statements and stories are completely false,” Jon had repeated many times. But soon he began to add, “But the ones that are real are… deeply concerning, and hard to come by.”

More than a few times Jon had caught Melanie digging through filing cabinets, looking for a statement with a shred of truth in it, anything to follow up or make a story out of. After the third time that Jon threw open the door to the filing room and nearly gave himself a heart attack when the light illuminated Melanie’s hunch over figure, reading through a pile of folders that she most certainly was not going to put away properly, Jon sighed and asked, “Why don’t I just give you some statements that seem real.”

Melanie looked up from the file in her hand that she was about to discard. “You’d do that? Isn’t that against ‘policy’ or something.”

Jon rolled his eyes. “I’m sure it’s no more breaking rules than allowing you in here in the first place.” He eyed the pile of statements on the floor, the open drawer with crumbled papers shoved in. “Besides, I’m tired of having to spend an entire day refiling after you pop in.”

And so, Jon started keeping track of statements he believes. First on sticky notes, then on looseleaf paper, and eventually in a notebook so that Melanie can keep track as she goes along, Jon wrote down the name and case number of what he believes are credible cases, and Melanie dug them out of their dusty tombs. Even if she didn’t put them away - which she rarely did, can’t go making Jon’s life too easy, she thought with a grin - it was clear that he appreciated knowing exactly where they came from. She still browsed around, skimming through statements that Jon doesn’t believe, but she puts those ones back where she finds them if they weren't worth her time.

Their strange friendship continued like that for a few months. They steered clear of personal topics, even, no, especially, as Melanie began going on dates with Georgie. Occasionally, a personal detail would slip in; Jon mentioned that he hates denim skirts after telling Melanie about a statement that, for some reason, explicitly mentions them (“And what makes you an expert on what women should wear?” Melanie asked, annoyance clear in her.

Jon furrowed his eyebrows. “What? No, I’m talking about me. I hate wearing denim skirts.”

“Oh,” Melanie says, the wind coming out of her sails. “Uh, me too.”). At one point Melanie mentioned that she loves artificial blue raspberry, which made Jon scrunch his nose in disgust. Before they knew it, Melanie and Jon knew about the other’s thoughts on movies, books, fashion, the weather, politics, animals, food, and whether or not Rosie is dating that one woman from HR.

It was a slow and gradual shift, one that caught both of them off guard. But neither was anxious to prevent it and really, Melanie was kind of interested to see where it would go. It’s with that thought in mind, seeing how this will go, that she throws a folder onto Jon’s desk. He hadn’t looked up when she knocked and entered without waiting, but with the manila folder obscuring whatever paperwork he was doing, he sighs and lifts his head.

“Yes, Melanie?”

“This statement was misfiled,” Melanie said, glee and gloating oozing out of her voice. She cackled when she saw Jon scowl, arms crossing automatically. He glanced down at the casefile.

“It most certainly was not,” Jon huffed, picking it up. He doesn’t even mention how it wasn’t a file he gave her, so keen to prove her wrong. “It was filed by year, 2006, subsection ‘non-human creature’, subsection ‘false’ and-”

“Exactly,” Melanie interrupted. “It’s not fake.”

“What do you mean it’s not fake.” Jon narrowed his eyes. “It’s about a bloody sea monster!”

“A sea monster which is described in another statement from 1984,” Melanie threw another folder onto his desk, which Jon hadn’t noticed in her hand in his haste to disagree, “And, one that causes damage similar to this accident report,” Melanie unlocked her phone and shoved it into Jon’s face. His eyes crossed and squinted as he tried to read the news article on the screen. “Which, by the way, all occur in the same region of the Barents Sea.”

Jon lifted his eyes from the phone screen, still slightly glaring at Melanie. He looked away after a second, raising a hand to scratch the side of his face.

“Well, then, I guess we will have to look into it some more,” his voice was different than what Melanie was used to. Behind the movement of his hand, Melanie thought she saw some falses of teeth and saw a slight twinkle in his eye. He quickly dropped his face, expression and voice back to normal, “But, this is not permission for you to go back to rummaging through my files!”

Melanie grinned wolfishly, putting a hand on her hip. The gentle voice and expression were already leaving her mind. “Like I ever needed your permission, Jon.”

-1

It was almost surprising how well Daisy got on with Jon. She supposed it was because they were both a bit quieter than the people around them, got a bit more drained from human interaction than others, a bit more like old souls. Only, Daisy was more of an ‘old soul’ because the thought of all the therapy she had to go through years ago still made her tired and because she was literally about fifteen years older than everyone else in the Archives.

“Why is it that your joints hurt more than mine even though you’re a baby?” Daisy asked, after finding Jon laying on the floor of his office, hair and dress fanned out on the floor. When she had questioned his state, he just mumbled, “m’back hurts.”

Calling him a baby made him grumble more. “I’m not a baby, I am a grown man-”

“More like an old man.” Daisy joked, sitting down cross-legged by his head. “Seriously, you’re too young to be aching this much.”

Jon shrugged, shirt rustling against the carpet. “I’ve always ached. I guess having a desk job just made it worse.”

Daisy nodded. She couldn’t really relate; all her old aches hadn’t been physical, and before the archives all her jobs involved in a lot of moving - whether it was fast food as a teenager, or retail as a young adult, and then the police.

“You should go to a chiropractor, get a massage.” She suggested.

“Chiropractor and masseuse are two different professions.”

“Piss off, you know what I’m saying.” Jon rolled his eyes and squirmed a bit on the floor.

“I don’t like the thought of someone… massaging me.”

“It feels really good,” Daisy replies, thinking back to the few massages she had gotten in her life. “And chiropractors don’t really massage, they just snap your joints back into place and then give you weird exercises to do.”

Jon shrugged again and didn’t say anything. Daisy wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t have anything to say, or if his previous movement made something along his spine twinge. After a minute of silence, with Jon’s face occasionally morphing from boredom to discomfort, Daisy got an idea.

“Stand up,” she said, getting to her feet herself. Jon looked up, startled.

“Why?”

“Just do it,” Daisy stuck her hand out for Jon to take. With a little effort, Jon sat up, groaning a little, before taking her stand to stand. As soon as he was upright, Daisy reached down to hold Jon from under his armpits.

“Uh, Daisy, what are you doing?” Jon asked, arms sticking straight out, stiff, as Daisy brought his body closer to her.

“I’m going to reset your back,” Daisy said, as Jon’s face squished against her shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ve done this a few times, it usually helps.”

Jon mumbled something, before yelping when Daisy stood closer to her full height and he was lifted a few inches off the ground. Jon’s arms instinctually went around Daisy’s shoulders, even though she was fully supporting his weight.

“Okay, you gotta relax your body, untense your muscles- Jon that is the opposite of untensing. There you go, okay, you’re going to hear a crack,” She said, before squeezing Jon into her body, forearms pressed across different parts of his back. There was a loud crack as she felt Jon tighten his arms around her and give a little yell into her shoulder.

She loosened her grip, but still held him close for a second, just in case. She felt his mouth move against her shirt, and at first, she thought he was mumbling something, but then the movement ceased for a few seconds. Another small movement, and then no motion once again. Finally, she lowered Jon to the floor and released him. He stood, and quickly went to smoothing out his shirt.

“How’d that feel?” Daisy asks, noticing how he wasn’t automatically going back to lie on the ground. Jon stilled for a second, before saying,

“It feels a lot better. Thank you, Daisy.”

Martin knew he wasn’t subtle, at least not when it came to Jon. He knew practically anyone who came down to the Archives could tell he had a crush, knew that his attempts to coddle, and talk to, and make Jon proud were just about as sly as painting a banner that said: “I WANT TO DATE JONATHAN SIMS.”

He almost couldn’t help it. Sure, he had gotten a bit better at not letting Jon treat him like a doormat over the years - sometimes Jon even seemed pleasantly surprised when Martin told him off for being mean - but there was still an undeniable urge to be gentle with him, to treat him kindly, to make him smile.

Not that anyone had any recollection of Jon smiling - hell, Tim even made a few jokes that Jon was probably in a terrible accident as a smile and ‘broke his smile muscles, but left his annoying muscles intact’. It wasn’t very funny, but Martin and Sasha still laughed.

Still, in some masochistic kind of way, Martin enjoyed this prolonged courtship. And even though his friends were sure that nothing was advancing, that Martin was still being a pining fool (which wasn’t an inaccurate description) and Jon was still being an unrequiting idiot, Martin was sure that he was making progress. Jon and he were having more… moments. More times where they would make eye contact and Jon’s face would soften, more conversations where Jon would ramble off-topic, at ease and relaxed, before remembering himself and Martin and roping him back into the conversation. There would be times where Martin would pass Jon a cup of tea, mug angled so that Jon could easily grab the handle, and yet Jon would take the mug in such a way that their fingers would brush. Sometimes they even lingered there, the heat of ceramic burning his hand, almost unnoticeable in comparison to the heat of his face as Jon glanced at him through his eyelashes, saying, “Thank you, Martin.”

Maybe it was just because no one else was privy to these moments, or maybe Martin really was just a yearning fool, desperately grasping at anything that suggested Jon returned his affection, but no one else seemed to understand these moments or take them seriously.

“Your crush is getting out of control,” Tim said one day, after watching Martin bring Jon tea in a mug covered in hearts. “Like, legally speaking, I think it’s too much.”

Martin rolled his eyes. Jon had stared at the mug for a few seconds before taking it, and even though it was still piping hot, much too warm to comfortably drink, he took a sip as soon as it was in his grasp. “This is lovely, Martin. Thank you.”

“Leave it alone, Tim, it’s fine,” Martin replied, going back to sit at his desk.

“No, it is getting a bit ridiculous,” Sasha agreed. “I mean, how long have you been after him? Like, I love Jon, trust me, but he’s either oblivious or ignoring your, uh, flirting attempts.”

“He’s not ignoring them.”

“So he’s just oblivious?”

“I don’t think so.” Sasha and Tim looked at him strangely. He sighed. “Look, things are fine, okay? It’s fine, just let me… do my thing.”

“Fine, we will ‘let you do your thing’ but, for the record, you probably could have gotten with at least three people in the time that you’ve been lusting after Jon,” Tim said, earning a laugh from Sasha.

But it was fine, whatever he and Jon had. It was certainly more than what he had been getting before, and even though he wanted more - chest aching at the sight of a frazzled or tired Jon, feeling the need to brush his hair out of his face, to press tender kisses to his eyelids, the near unbearably desire to just hold him, and care for him - Martin wasn’t unhappy. And somehow he knew Jon wasn’t either.

Sometimes Jon even sought Martin out, intentionally leaving his stuffy office only to walk over to Martin's desk and chat with him for a few minutes before returning. Often he would have to return a minute later, muttering about leaving a pen or a pencil or a hair tie. (One time, as Jon turned around to leave, Martin saw the pen on the edge of his desk, and said, “You left your pen.”

Jon had turned around, looking almost disappointed. “Oh. Yes, thank you, Martin.”

He collected his pen and returned to his office. Martin didn’t see him until he said goodbye for the night. The next time he saw Jon dropping something at his desk, he didn’t mention it.)

When Jon actually remembered to eat lunch now, he would only come out to eat if Martin hadn’t eaten already, as he had taken to sitting either across or directly next to him during meal times. If Jon was sitting next to him - usually because Melanie or Basira were sitting across the shifty breakroom table - Martin could feel Jon gently, almost shyly, pressing his knee against Martin’s leg. Jon’s face was always blank, but if Martin made any move to shift away, Jon’s head would snap towards him until contact was either completely broken or restored.

Of course, there wasn’t an easy way to explain this to anyone else. How could Martin have possibly hoped to quantify glances, and touches, and the new intonations when Jon said ‘Martin’, the name now completely different than what Jon used to call him, despite no letters changing. How to explain it when no one else seemed to notice the magnitude of these changes if they noticed the changes at all?

So Martin rolled his eyes and made jokes with the others as they teased and prodded him about his ‘crush that was going nowhere on the boss’, and hoped, like so many times before, that Jon couldn’t hear them through his office door.

As pathetic as it sounded, Martin was prepared to play the long game, to continue this dance he and Jon had begun as long as it took, to tolerate the unbearable loneliness that crept up on him at home so long as he got to see Jon at work, to keep bringing him tea every day until, well, until something happened, or until one of them left the archives. Martin had made peace with that fact, though he loathed to admit it, even to himself.

And then, Jon asked for his help one day.

“Can you stay late with me this evening? I need some assistance looking into a statement.” Jon had been formal, professional when he asked.

“Of course,” Martin said, if not because any time spent with Jon was a good time (usually, not even Martin was in deep enough to enjoy some of Jon’s moods), then because he did take his job seriously. “Anything you need.”

“I can stay behind too if you need extra help,” Basira offered, turning to look at Jon.

Jon nodded at her. “Thank you for offering, but I’ll only be needing Martin.”

And he has to admit, hearing that did bring warmth to his face and to his chest.

The help that Jon needed was minimal. Some of it was just reaching a file of a self that was too high since the stepladder that he used to use had broken, and Martin knew that Jon had too much pride to ask for help reaching something when everyone was in. Otherwise, all he needed assistance with was looking over a few files to see if a name popped up in all of them. All in all, it only took about half an hour, including the time it took to re-sort the files and put the relevant ones on Jon’s desk.

As Martin was preparing to leave, Jon approached him one more time, also clad in his winter coat and bulky scarf tucked under his chin. He stood in front of Martin, looking intently. Martin waited for, well, something. Jon took a deep breath.

“Would- Are you- Do,” Jon scowled at himself, took another breath and reached up to tug his scarf lower again so that more of his face was visible. “Martin, would you like to go out to eat with me?”

“Yeah, of course,” Martin replied, cheeks reddening slightly. Jon paused for a moment.

“I mean this as a date.”

Martin looked at Jon, bundled in his winter wear, hair slightly tangled, fumbling over asking Martin out!

“I knew that’s what you meant,” Martin said with a smile. He looked down at Jon’s hands, clenched tightly into themselves. He reached a hand out and carefully brushed a finger along the knuckles of on. “Of course, I would like to go on a date with you.”

And when he looked up, he saw Jon smiling, and it felt like seeing the stars for the first time. Jon always said he looked much older than he was, which Martin was inclined to agree, but when he smiled, he looked more his age. The tiredness and stress that plagued his expressions disappeared under the glow of his grin, eyes crinkled, and. Dimples.

Jon had dimples, nestled in between his smile lines, a secret that Martin knew he was now the only one in the Institute besides Jon who knew they existed.

“You have dimples,” Martin said, a smile creeping onto his own face. “They’re cute.”

Jon sputtered a, “No they’re not!” and Martin could see he was trying to return his face to its usually impassive expression, but it seemed that every time he got close, his grin would break through. Eventually, Jon tugged his scarf up to cover his mouth, but Martin still saw his eyes crinkled, somehow still felt Jon smiling through the layers.

“They’re cute,” Martin repeated, wanting to pull Jon’s scarf down again. This want was different than what he usually felt, a desire not tinged with sadness or loss. Maybe it was presumptuous, but Martin knew that this urge would be met. Maybe not now, but soon.

And Martin thought about Jon’s smile, even when he asked, voice muffled behind the layers of wool, where Martin wanted to go to eat, and would Martin like to walk, transit or take a cab there, and, and and.

Martin thought about Jon’s smile, knowing he was one of the few people to see it, knowing that he would get to see it again

#jonmartin #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tma #the magnus archives #tma fic #fanfic #links #jon x martin #i hate having to share fics to tumblr idk why but they always look so UGLY

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haich-slash-cee · 4 years

Text

Is the print publishing world picking up online/fandom terms? How they are using them? How do we feel about this?

So this is... attention-getting, for folks who like to follow publishing and meta stuff.

https://twitter.com/sapphicxrey/status/1215065948677443584

https://twitter.com/TorDotComPub/status/1233391556750647299

(2nd tweet -- TW, mentions of non-con)

Are we seeing the beginnings of book publishers directly borrowing from online/fandom culture in promoting their books? How do we feel about these examples?

More below cut.

Exhibit #1: screenshots of Bonds of Brass promo from Jan 8 2020. (Which is probably going to have reactions of “haha, cute” at most.)

Transcript of blurb:

“If you like...

forbidden romances, “there’s only one bed”, cityships, weaponized umbrellas, powersuits, secret princes, best friends, best friends PINING, fake dating between PINING best friends, tactical streaking, the minivan of starships, cigar-chomping cyborg ladies, scary empress moms, galactic-level bisexual disasters, LEGACY (WHAT IS A LEGACY?), rooftop hopping, golden trios, rumblin’ drums, bootleg fireworks, BIG SPACE BATTLES PEW PEW, a surprisingly functional public transit system, mob trouble, one hell of a pilot, the inherent DRAMA of empire, a nice interlude in a river, smoking a joint that’s been on the floor, sick stunts, slick grifts, hiding in a dumpster, or any combination of the above,

Then you might like

BONDS OF BRASS”

The Twitter responses seem to be generally enthusiastic. (And also, “FinnPoe! FinnPoe!”)

Personally, I’m intrigued from a meta-view of “oh so that’s definitely pulling from online world and fanfiction world, interesting. I wonder how much fanfiction culture is starting to influence print book culture and promotion.” Maybe I’ve got some questions like, “Ok so moneymaking companies such as Penguin are now using culture developed by the not-moneymaking-world of fanfiction? How do we feel about this?” Anyway, the book looks cute, I’m interested enough and I might get it from the library.

I suspect many people’s reactions are along the lines of “hm, interesting”, “sounds like a lark”, or “haha they’re using AO3 tags as promo”, etc.

Exhibit #2, screenshots of DOCILE promo, from Feb 28 2020 (today is March 1 2020), and screenshots of Twitter responses so far:

(*CW, non-con discussion)

Tweet transcript:

“DOCILE by @KMSzpara:

-Dubcon/Noncon

-Dramatic Trillionaire Content

-BDSM and then some more BDSM and then a lot more BDSM

-Hurt/comfort and hurt/no comfort

-Cinnamon roll of steel

-The most scandalous kink: love

-Courtroom, bedroom, & Preakness drama

[Tor book website link]”

So this is getting mixed reactions on Twitter. All dozen or so reactions, so far. Here’s text transcripts and bio info from repliers, below. I’m being a little obsessive, mostly to show that there’s a mix of queer, book-ish people in the replies (including the author).)

Noncon is nonconsentual sex, rape. Even in fandom it's a content tag, not a promotional term. I can't imagine being a rape survivor and seeing this come across my TL. -- @WriteSomeGood [queer rainbow] [Cis queer homemaker, aspiring author, maker of incredible cinnamon buns. She/her] [has a Tumblr page]

I’m not a survivor but it was an instant “no thank you” from me. And I was sincerely looking forward to this prior to. This is the most immediately off-putting marketing push I’ve seen for a book in a long damn time. -- @AGAWilmot [Author, editor, artist. Co-EIC of @anathemaspec. @SFU alum. The Death Scene Artist/W&W 2018. Ace/enby. They/them. Horror is my comfort food.]

Whichever intern wrote this tweet, deserves a full time job. With benefits. -- @simeontsanev [Aspiring writer, post-aspiring musician, and overall geek He/Him /[queer rainbow]/ To the world we dream about, and the one we live in now! http://simeontsanev.com]

Idk why everyone thinks it’s always an intern writing copy and not a team comprised of extremely skilled social media experts, editors, publicists and marketers, and their assistants I worked on those tags with my editor and a good friend!! -- @KMSzpara [Kellan. [queer rainbow] Speculative fiction writer. Queer agenda. Hugo & Nebula finalist. DOCILE 3/3/20 from Tor Dot Com Publishing. He/him. Rep @suddenlyjen] *The author, bio page and twitter page.

this is CUTE! -- @MSSciarappa [queer rainbow] I do books. he/him.

I am Extremely Ready for this content thank u -- @JessicaBCooper [Journo ☽ Writer of faerie, villain fuckery & cruel desires ☽ Lestat & Loki's love child ☽ Aleksander Morozova's side-hoe ☽ Rep'd by Kate Testerman @ktliterary]

I’m listening -- @MerynLobb [Government worker. Weightlifter. Nihilist. Aspiring cult leader. Avid user of words, often bad ones. #AMM R6 Mentee. she/her]

Soon! Soon!! -- @castrophony [Geek. Gamer. Cosplayer. Bibliophile. Scientist. She/Her.]

[happy reaction gif] -- @TorDotComPub [Providing a home for writers to tell SFF stories in exactly the number of words they choose. All our titles are available globally in print and DRM-free ebook.]

[throwing stuff in dumpster, unhappy reaction gif] -- @cursedgravy [name's xavi, im a transman and i like to daydream about making content]

For more context, here’s the blurb from the author website. Below is the blurb from the publisher’s site:

“Docile

K.M. Szpara

K. M. Szpara's Docile is a science fiction parable about love and sex, wealth and debt, abuse and power, a challenging tour de force that at turns seduces and startles.

There is no consent under capitalism.

To be a Docile is to be kept, body and soul, for the uses of the owner of your contract. To be a Docile is to forget, to disappear, to hide inside your body from the horrors of your service. To be a Docile is to sell yourself to pay your parents' debts and buy your children's future.

Elisha Wilder’s family has been ruined by debt, handed down to them from previous generations. His mother never recovered from the Dociline she took during her term as a Docile, so when Elisha decides to try and erase the family’s debt himself, he swears he will never take the drug that took his mother from him.

Too bad his contract has been purchased by Alexander Bishop III, whose ultra-rich family is the brains (and money) behind Dociline and the entire Office of Debt Resolution. When Elisha refuses Dociline, Alex refuses to believe that his family’s crowning achievement could have any negative side effects—and is determined to turn Elisha into the perfect Docile without it.

Content warning: Docile contains forthright depictions and discussions of rape and sexual abuse.”

So that’s a lot of info and reactions.

Personally: at first glance, I absently skimmed the tweet and “hurt/comfort” popped out, and I was like “What? Mainstream publishing is cool with this now? I was wondering if ‘hurt/comfort’ would one day become commonly used in publishing [related post]. But this is way sooner than I thought.” And then I read the rest of of the tweet and thought, “Wait, what?”

And then I started reading through the tweet replies and thought, “OK, at the risk of getting a bunch of Tumblr drama, I want to bring this to the whump community and see how people feel."

As for myself, one of my squicks is non-con, and I’m not really interested in hurt/no comfort. So just from the tweet, I know the book is not for me. The official blurbs confirmed that. In this sense, this is like skimming Ao3 tags on a fic and saying “pass” on a story.

However, I have questions about the specific promotion of the book. So the official blurbs are pretty standard. What about that tweet, which Tor (and the author, who helped put it together) put out? Because I think an official publisher’s Tweet comes with different context than Ao3 tags.

First, the different internet spaces. You can filter tags on Ao3 and Tumblr. I know you can mute words on Twitter, but is that the same thing? Also, would people be expecting these tags on Twitter? Compared to Ao3 or Tumblr or Tumblr Whump spaces?

Within the Tumblr Whump community, from what I’ve browsed, the community attitude (guidelines?) seem to be “Write and discuss what you want. Be sure to tag it, use content warnings, or otherwise clearly communicate if you have things that may be triggering. Respect people’s squicks/triggers. Walk away from what you don’t like.” Like, tumblr whump has a very specific culture of trying to balance discourse/stories about potentially very dark stuff, but also wanting to make sure the IRL people and Tumblr users are okay. There’s always posts going around about how to do this, are we doing this in the right way, ethics, so on. Also -- and people can correct me -- the whump tumblr space might be where tags are content warnings for people to stay away, and also what people might actively look for. So if any space is going to discuss if this promotional tweet checks out, I feel like it’s this space.

Also, to note again, Tor Tweets are in the money-official-publisher-world, not unpaid-tumblr-people or unpaid-fanfiction-fandom-world.

Maybe I just want to ask, “Hey those first two tweet responses, does they have a point? Tor using ‘noncon’ as official promotion? On Twitter?” I mean, I’ve previously written, “The CW and TW tags that Ao3 writers use, I really wish those were used with published books as well.” But somehow, the Tor tweet was not quite what I was expecting. Maybe for reasons similar to that first tweet response. (I guess one could debate if a tweet is really promotion or just information... you know what someone can correct me, but I’m gonna say that a Tor.com tweet is promotion, compared to information like Ao3, and that tweet was there for promotion.)

Those tags operate within specific Ao3 and Tumblr cultures and infrastructure. I don’t hang around Twitter for whump stuff, IDK what the culture is. Anyway, does dropping these tags into a promotional tweet from Tor.... translate?

The tweet is evidently gathering the people who are there for it, and the people who aren’t there for it are quickly realizing that they are not there for it. But personally, the Tor website blurb does a better job at that, using writing that I’d expect from a publisher for communicating fictional non-con situations. (Maybe the blurb content warnings are what I wanted more of, when I said I wished for CW and TW in books.)

Anyway, there’s no huge drama about that Docile book promo on Twitter, as far as I can tell. So this is a niche thing, right now. But. The promo for Bonds of Brass and for Docile might be the beginnings of a trend of well-known book publishers borrowing from online writing / fandom culture and terminology in order to promote or categorize their books. These two promos might set a precedent or have other significance.

So if anyone has discourse on the tweets or potential future trends...

#meta #discourse #publishing #bonds of brass #Docile #publishers #future trends #maybe #non-con #trigger warnings #content warnings #fanfiction #ao3 #tumblr #whump #hurt/comfort #hurt/no comfort #books

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